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wonkizz · 26 days ago

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do you feel the same way i do about you? pt 2

성훈 x fmr genre: fluff warns: pet names, kissing, mentions of bad friendship/bad behavior, reader is implied to be shorter than sunghoon wc: 3.3k

note: i know some of you may have wanted more angst but im not an angst kinda person, sorry i hope y’all enjoy anyway!

Sunghoon has been agonizing for weeks since you ended your “friendship”.

He knows he’s wrong, he’s been wrong all these years, indirectly treating you the way he did.

When he told his friends about what happened, they berated him severely.

“It’s on you to fix it,” Sunoo had said.

He’s been effectively blocked on everything, having no way to contact you. Not to mention, you’ve been great at avoiding him.

He hasn’t caught a glimpse of you since that day.

All he wants is to fix things, but he knows that won’t happen unless he fixes his own behavior and thoughts first.

He’s been talking to a school counselor. Someone who’s there to listen to him rant about how terribly he treated you and how bad he feels.

The counselor, being one to not take sides, at first commended him for recognizing his wrong behavior, but then reconfirmed his thoughts.

He was a bad friend to you, to put it plain and simple.

After talking to the therapist for a few hours, acknowledging how he was wrong, what he can do to change that behavior and how to talk to you, if you’ll even allow it, he knows what to do.

He could go to your apartment, but there’s a slim if not no chance of you opening the door for him.

Instead, he’s chosen to write you a letter.

Sunghoon pours his heart into it, acknowledging all his wrongdoings and essentially begging for forgiveness. He knows he might not get it, but he has to take a chance.

You don’t know what to expect when you see an envelope addressed to you with Sunghoon’s name on it.

Your first thought is to throw it away. That would be the easy thing to do, but a part of you, a big part, wants to see what it is.

As you sit on your couch, envelope in hand, you take a deep breath before opening it.

Inside is a letter, with Sunghoon’s messy handwriting that you used to get on him for.

You start reading, anticipating.

Dear Y/N,

I know you may throw this letter away, but if you choose to read it, please read to the end.

I’m writing to you to apologize for everything.

Not just for what I said at the party, but for our entire time together.

The way I treated you, from the beginning, is not how any friend should be treated.

The reality is, we weren’t real friends. At least, not in my eyes.

To you, I was a friend. To me, you were someone who went along with my every word and whim. I liked the attention, I liked how you did whatever I wanted. I liked the fact that I was everything to you.

I treated you terribly, that’s a fact. I never acknowledged your feelings and instead pushed them aside. I pressured you into situations you were uncomfortable with and never did the same for you. I never really embraced who you are. I chose to overlook you and never treat you with the same respect you gave me.

But the truth is Y/N, you’re a good person. Better than me in ways I might never understand.

I did a lot of thinking and talking over the past couple of weeks without you.

I don’t deserve your forgiveness, nor do I deserve a chance to prove myself to you. But I’ve learned how wrong I was, and I want nothing more than to change that.

Maybe I’ll never really make it up to you, but I want to try.

If you choose to ignore this letter, I understand.

But maybe, if you feel like it’s in your best interest, we could try to be real friends.

I don’t want to say I miss you, without really knowing you.

I want to know the real Y/N.

The one who isn’t pressured to go to parties and be someone she’s not.

I want to know your favorite color. Your real hobbies, how you like spending your time.

I want you to be able to come to me with secrets you’ve never told anyone. I want to be a real friend.

If you’ve made it to the end of this letter, and you want to give me that chance, I’ll be here.

I’m so sorry.

Sunghoon.

You can feel the tears falling from your eyes, dripping down your face, onto your thighs.

You weren’t expecting that. You thought at the very least, Sunghoon might try to apologize, but this was the last thing you’d expect from him.

You take time to truly think about what you want, what’s best for you and your well-being.

Is it viable to give Sunghoon a chance?

Will he hurt you again in the long run?

Part of you is saying yes, while the other says no.

Night falls and you go to sleep, thinking about the very near future and what you’ll choose to do.

Sunghoon is sitting with his friends, when there’s a tap on his shoulder.

You’re standing there, holding tightly onto your bag strap.

He sits up so quickly, he almost falls.

“Hi,” you say.

Sunghoon gathers himself, “Hi.”

“Can we talk?”

He nods immediately, getting up to follow you to a quiet corner.

He stands there, towering over you as you look up at him.

“I got your letter. I read it,” you say, playing with the ring on your finger.

“Okay. How do you feel?” He’s so nervous, he’s chewing his lip like he’s going to bite it off.

“I feel…conflicted, if we’re being honest. Part of me wants to give you that chance, while the other is scared of being hurt again.

Sunghoon nods, “I understand. You have to do what’s best for you. I can’t predict what will happen in the future, but I’d be an idiot to hurt you again.

I’m not going to pressure you into anything, I’m thankful you’re even talking to me.”

You laugh a little bit, which sounds like music to Sunghoon’s ears.

“I want to give you a chance, Sunghoon. But you have to understand that if at any point I feel things aren’t working or you’re reverting to past behavior, I’m gone?”

“I understand. I wouldn’t expect any less,” he responds. “Let’s start over. Hi, my name is Sunghoon,” he says, holding his hand out.

You take it, shaking it and smiling up at him, “Hi, Sunghoon. I’m Y/N. I have class but I’ll text you, okay?”

Sunghoon smiles, his fangs poking out, “I’ll look forward to it.”

You leave and Sunghoon almost jumps for joy.

He knows he can’t mess this up and he doesn’t plan on it.

You end up texting him later that night, asking if he wants to hang out this upcoming weekend.

Sunghoon immediately responds, accepting eagerly.

When the weekend comes, neither of you have class. You decide to meet up at a cafe on campus.

He’s already waiting for you by the time you arrive.

“Were you waiting long? You ask.

He shakes his head, “I just got here!”

Sunghoon offers to pay, which you try to decline but he insists.

You order an iced white chocolate caramel macchiato while he orders an iced americano.

“Is that drink your favorite?” He asks.

You nod, “I love it so much. It’s pretty sweet but I have a sweet tooth.”

Sunghoon told himself he’d remember everything about you, not wanting to look bored or make you think he’s not listening or interested.

“How are your classes going?” He knows you’re a psych major, thankfully.

“They’re going well. We got to do a clinical at a psych facility recently.”

You talk for what feels like forever, and Sunghoon doesn’t miss a word you say.

His attention is solely on you.

You see it and you feel it, his eyes on you, even when you look away.

You already like how this is going and just hope it stays this way.

A week passes and you feel closer to Sunghoon than you even have. That day at the cafe solidified a good beginning for this new friendship.

You and Sunghoon text everyday. You feel like you actually have a friend, someone who’s actually giving back what you give them.

Today, Sunghoon invited you to a hangout at his friend Jay’s place. He knows you weren’t entirely comfortable the first time you met them, so he doesn’t pressure you to say yes.

But, sometimes, things in life have to change.

You decide to go, wanting to find more friends outside of Sunghoon, which he encouraged.

Sunghoon picks you up at 8, and you’re there by 8:15.

Jay greets you both warmly at the door, as does everyone else when you step inside.

You sit in between Sunghoon and Jungwon as you all have dinner together, prepared lovingly by Jay.

The boys all ask about you, and at one point, when you’re occupied with food in your mouth, Sunghoon answers for you.

Some might find it rude, but you find it endearing.

He’s truly trying, and that’s something you’ve always wanted. It might be the bare minimum, but it means everything to you.

After dinner, you all decide on a movie to watch.

Choosing action, as you find romance movies to be boring, you watch intently, not relaxing Sunghoon has his eyes on you.

Sunghoon thinks you look beautiful. You’ve always been pretty, something he’s acknowledged in the past, but really looking at you, he thinks your beauty is one of a kind.

“Stop staring,” Jungwon whispers from beside him.

He wants to defend himself, but he can’t. “I can’t help it.” He whispers back.

He thinks about before, when you admitted having feelings for him. It’s something neither of you have acknowledged since that day, but Sunghoon can’t help but think about it and feel bad.

Despite how he treated you, you still found a way to look at him in a good light, enough to catch feelings for him.

Could he see himself with you? He’s not sure, but the thought lingers in his mind while he watches the movie.

Late at night, he drives you home from Jay’s and walks you to your door to make sure you get in safely.

“I had a great time, Sunghoon,” you say, smiling up at him.

“I’m glad, I had a good time too. I’m happy you like them, they’re knuckleheads but they’re cool.”

You laugh, “I couldn’t agree more. I’ll text you tomorrow?”

He nods, “Sounds good.”

As he lays in his own bed, his thoughts are full of you.

Weeks pass and it’s safe to say that you and Sunghoon have fully rebuilt your friendship.

It feels real, genuine, in a way it didn’t before.

You acknowledged the pain he caused you, but it has been taken over by the recent happiness because of him.

You hate to say it, you thought you lost all feelings for him, but alas, you haven’t.

You know it’s wrong, he doesn’t see you that way, even now, but you can’t help it.

The real Sunghoon, the kind and caring one, is more than you could ever want.

On Sunghoon’s end, he’s been thinking about you more and more recently. It feels like he’s teetering on the edge of having romantic feelings for you.

He feels like he wants to admit it to himself, but at the same he’s scared. What if it’s just in his head? What if they’re not really romantic and he’s setting you up to get hurt by him again.

What should he do? Should he be honest?

He decides to go to the counselor again, hoping he can help him sort out his feelings.

The counselor, Mr. Shin, is very understanding of Sunghoon’s dilemma.

“You feel like you might have romantic feelings, but don’t want to hurt her if they’re not. It’s completely understandable, Sunghoon. Navigating romantic feelings can be hard. I feel like your best option is to be honest with her about what you’re feeling and see how she reacts to that.”

Taking Mr. Shin’s advice, he asks to meet you at your apartment. It feels better doing it in a private setting than a public one.

“What’s up?” You ask, having gotten him a bottle of water while he sat on your couch.

“I have something to talk to you about.”

Your brow raises in confusion, “Okay?”

He faces you, “I've been having thoughts recently, pertaining to you. I’m confused and my counselor who I talked to told me to be honest.”

You start to get nervous, not expecting him to be so serious, “What kind of thoughts?”

Sunghoon takes a deep breath, “Romantic ones? At least, they feel romantic. But I haven’t been with someone in a long time and I don’t know how to dictate if my feelings are real or not. I don’t wanna hurt you again.”

You’re surprised, this was the last thing you expected.

“This isn’t like, out of pity is it, because of what I said?”

Sunghoon shakes his head vigorously, “No! It’s nothing like that. My feelings are genuine, I just don’t know if they’re really, truly romantic. I…I don’t know what to do.”

“Well,” you take a deep breath of your own, “what do you think about?”

Sunghoon relaxes a little bit, you don’t seem to be upset. “I think about your smile. How bright it is and how much I smile thinking about it. I think about the fact that you’re so smart, it’s like talking to a dictionary in a good way.

I like how passionate you are, especially about the things you love. Psychology for one. Your love for the food network is another. Everytime you ramble, you apologize but I don’t think there’s anything to apologize for. I like hearing you talk.”

He continues, “I like the fact that you are so open-minded. Where others would close off or reject something, you’re always supportive. I think I like everything about you, Y/N. I just like you.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, and Sunghoon is worried he’s made you upset, but instead you start laughing.

“That’s all very sweet Sunghoon. And I’m glad you were honest with me. I like you a lot, too. But if you’re not sure about your feelings, we could go on a few dates? If you see something for us romantically in the future, fine. If you don’t, that’s okay, I won’t be upset.”

“Are you sure?”

You nod, “If things don’t work out that way, we can stay friends, no hard feelings. I’m okay just being your friend.”

Sunghoon leaves that night feeling relieved.

The next day, you set up a date to go out.

Sunghoon tells you he wants to plan it, telling you just to dress sophisticatedly.

You’re inclined to tell him not to go all out, you don’t need a super fancy first date, but you decide against it.

If he wants to, you’ll let him.

By the end of the week, you’re dressed and ready for Sunghoon to pick you up.

The three knocks on your door tell you it’s him.

You open it and almost groan at how good he looks.

He’s dressed in black and white. White dress shirt, black blazer and slacks. Nice dress shoes.

You had to buy a dress for yourself, choosing a red v-neck dress that covers enough but shows off your body in the right way.

Sunghoon is just staring at you in awe.

“You look amazing,” he finally says.

“Thank you. You look amazing yourself.”

You lock your door and he takes your hand, leading you to his car where he opens the door for you. Typical gentleman.

The drive to the restaurant, you assume it’s a restaurant, is short? Should you call it that? You arrived after half an hour.

The place looks fancy and you just pray you don’t embarrass yourself.

Sunghoon leads you inside, hand in yours, as the host leads you to your table.

It’s in a quiet part of the restaurant, not in the back but not dead center either.

When you’re given the menu, your eyes almost bulge out of your head.

A steak costs 30 dollars. 30 fucking dollars.

“Are you crazy?” You whisper to Sunghoon who sits across from you.

He looks up in shock, “What’s wrong?”

“A steak is 30 dollars! A bowl of pasta is 20, why would you spend your money on that?”

He smiles, “Aw, you’re worried about me spending my money. Don’t worry about it, I can afford it.”

You tilt your head, “Even so, you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. Please let me,” he says with a slight pout. Damn him.

You sit back, “Fine, but I’m not getting anything too expensive.”

“I can deal with that. But you better not get a damn salad.”

You huff, “Fine.”

You end up ordering a bowl of carbonara while Sunghoon gets a rib-eye.

The food comes quickly, and you use two of the napkins to keep your dress protected. Not that you’re a messy eater, but you never know when it comes to sauce.

You both take your time eating, talking about recent school work and classes.

“We did another clinical at a different facility, it was..should I say validating? It’s just really proven to me that this is what I want to do with my future.”

Sunghoon nods while you talk, “I’m glad you’ve found something you truly love. It’s hard sometimes, but you’re the most passionate person I know. Whoever’s psychologist you become in the future will be able to trust you 100%.”

You smile, “Thanks for saying that.”

“I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”

You ask Sunghoon about himself and you end up going back and forth the entire night.

It was perfect, at least to you.

You’ve been on very, very few first dates. This was the best and you tell Sunghoon that.

“I’m glad I could make you happy, pretty.”

Pretty? That’s new. And it makes you ecstatic.

The next few days consist of you and Sunghoon hanging out almost everyday. Some days, you call them “impromptu dates” just doing something at your apartment or his.

You introduce him to your favorite competition shows on the food network and soon, you’ve gotten him immersed in them as well.

You feel yourself fall for him more and more everyday.

It’s like he’s tugging a string on your heart that brings you close to him.

For Sunghoon, he’s never felt this way about someone before. Someone he’s felt so connected to.

If he wasn’t sure of his feelings before, he’s certain now.

You’re hanging out in his apartment, comfy in sweats and a t-shirt, Sunghoon donning the same.

He made ramen that you’re both shamelessly slurping up.

“I like you, a lot,” he says out of the blue.

You turn to him, mid-slurp and he starts to laugh.

“Stop,” you whine after swallowing your mouthful.

“You looked like a deer caught in headlights, if deers ate ramen.”

You put your bowl down with one hand, the other pushing his chest as he laughs.

“But I mean it, Y/N. I like you so much.”

He’s serious now and you look into his starry eyes.

“I like you too, Sunghoon. I’d say these past few weeks have been the best of my life.”

You stare at one another before he leans in, capturing your lips in his.

Your hands find his shoulders as his cradle your waist.

He pulls you closer to him, caressing your exposed skin.

Your lips move together like butter, soft and smooth.

When you pull away, he chases your lips, making you giggle.

“Someone’s eager,” you whisper, his face still close to yours.

“You have no idea.”

Safe to say, you don’t sleep that night.

WONKIZZ 2025

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cottonlemonade · 5 months ago

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Dating Advice - Inarizaki

Aran excused himself to the bathroom during a break, leaving Kita and his lunch box undefended.

“What did we just hear?”, Atsumu dropped down next to his captain, Osamu and Suna in tow.

“I don’t know?”, Kita replied, confused.

The setter adjusted his seat and suppressed a shiver under the captain’s gaze.

“Ya said ya were havin’ girl troubles?”

“Oh that.”, Kita looked down at his bento, rolling a pickled plum around with his chopsticks, “Yeah kind of.”

“Ya should’ve come to us. We can help!”, Atsumu said with a wide gesture to the other two, trying to sound enthusiastic. It could only help him if Kita owed him some kind of big favor so he’d put his entire expertise into action. Osamu snatched a grape from Aran’s lunch and plopped it into his mouth. Suna scrolled on his phone.

“So what’s the problem?”

With careful consideration, Kita chewed the plum, trying to figure out how to best explain the situation, “There is a girl I like-“, he began and was immediately interrupted.

“Y/n, yes, we know.” They’d caught their quiet teammate openly watching you study in the library many times with expressions ranging from soft adoration to lovesick fool. Kita didn’t exactly know how to be subtle and his usually so collected demeanor faltered if you did something cute like… yawn or bind the school’s jacket around your pudgy waist.

“Well,”, Kita continued, “there is another boy who also seems to be interested in her and he has brought her flowers and letters and chocolates.”

Atsumu gasped, kicking Suna’s and Osamu’s feet so that they’d join in. They did so, half-heartedly.

“Easily fixed.”, Atsumu announced, “Remember that guy that was also into my girlfriend? Remember what I did?”

Suna looked up from his phone, “Cried in the showers, yelling why doesn’t she love me?”

Silence.

Then Atsumu said, “After that.”

“Ate so much ramen that ya blocked our bathroom for three hours?”, Osamu offered dryly.

The blonde ignored his twin and cleared his throat.

“That's right, I didn't give up and fought for her. Is y/n-san worth the fight?”

“Yes.”, Kita replied without hesitation.

Atsumu leaned back on his hands with a self-satisfied smile and shrugged, “Then ya know what to do.”

A little while later, Aran returned, having filled up his water bottle on the way. He was passed by a determined-looking Kita who told him he’d be back in a few minutes.

The ace joined the group of friends sprawled on the floor by the bleachers with a casual “What did I miss?”

When Atsumu announced proudly that he had given their captain extensive dating advice, Aran froze, then muttered “Oh no.”, before scrambling back to his feet and running after his friend.

#kita x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #chubby reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #hq fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x curvy reader #shinsuke kita x reader #kita imagine #haikyuu kita #kita fluff #hq kita #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #inarizaki #haikyuu atsumu #hq atsumu

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babyleostuff · 6 months ago

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── OLYMPICS MASTERLIST

[🛹] DISCIPLINE: SKATEBOARDING

GENRE: fluff, strangers to lovers(ish), introverted reader, vernon being the greenest flag of them all PAIRING: skateboarder!vernon x athlete!fem reader WARNINGS: explicit language and a couple of sexist comments WORD COUNT: 3.1 k

“not the anti-sex beds again,” katie groaned, like it was the end of the world.

rolling your eyes, you threw your duffle bags on the bed next to the window. though, as dramatic as she could get sometimes, and as much as you couldn’t wait for the games to begin - you were not looking towards sleeping on the cardboard monstrosities. the amount of massages you had to get four years ago because of them was not something you’d like to go through again.

“it’s not like you’re going to have sex anyway,” sam nudged katie with her shoulder and threw her own stuff on the bed next to yours.

“i’m not talking about myself, stupid,” katie said. “our friend over here,” she put her arms around you and squeezed your shoulders, “needs to get laid. she almost managed to bang that rugby dude the last time, and i can feel it in my bones,” she took a deep breath, ”she’s going to succeed this year.”

you tried shoving her away, as sam erupted in a loud laugh.

“hah hah, very funny,” you mumbled, and flicked katie’s forehead. “i’m here to win medals, not to find a hookup.”

“mhm, sure,” sam said. “we’ll see about that.”

the next morning you stood up with the first rays of sunshine, a lot earlier than most people in the village, with a plan to make the most of your only day off before the eliminations. it’d get crowded quickly, so you figured it’d be nice to soak in the surroundings without hundreds of people bumping into each other. you didn’t bother to wake the girls up - you were eternally grateful you could share this amazing adventure with them, but you needed some time alone.

besides, there was a 99% probability that sam would skin you alive if you tried cutting her beauty sleep short.

before leaving the building, you managed, to your delight, to find the gym and the swimming pool, which surely would become really handy in a couple of days. then, you found a small farmacy a couple of blocks away, and a post office where you took a couple of pictures in a photobooth and wrote short letters to your friends at home, before throwing them into the mailbox.

though the streets were starting to get busier and busier, because well - the athletes, their trainers, the volunteers, staff - everyone wanted to see what this year’s host had to offer, it was still pleasantly peaceful, and you could enjoy your time alone to the fullest. and apart from the cardboard beds, the village was so nice. the purple colours especially.

just as you turned around the corner of south korea’s apartment complex, you felt and heard your tummy rumble, and thatwas your cue to find the dining hall. fortunately, it didn’t take you long. apart from the big ass signs with “dining hall”written all over them, most people that you passed were walking in one direction, which could only mean one thing.

after a short while, you entered the big room, all purple and pretty, already filled with hundreds of athletes and staff.

scanning around the huge hall, you tried looking for someone, anyone you knew, but to no avail. most of the tables were already taken, but somehow, to your misfortune, none of them were taken by anyone from your country. you sighed and twisted the pendant hanging around your neck, trying to distract yourself from the fact that you’d be forced to sit at a table with people you did not know.

there went your peaceful morning.

without wasting more time, and before you’d completely spiral over the lack of familiar faces, you picked up a plate and cutlery and made your way to the queue for food, standing behind two chinese athletes.

the line moved slowly, but you didn’t mind. as much as you weren’t particularly overjoyed with the loud noise and chaos, it was nice to do some people-watching. the different races, heights and widths, cultures, languages - all within one building - that had to be one of your favourite things about olympics.

“isn’t that the chick kyle fucked last time?” suddenly a male voice pulled you out of your thoughts, as if your brain knew that the comment was direct to you. drowning out the noise around you, you tried your best to focus on the people behind you.

“he didn’t fuck her, she ran away the second he touched her tits,” another guy said. “fucking prude,” he snickered.

you felt your cheeks heat up - in embarrassment because you were right there, and they knew you could hear them, but also in anger because what they were saying was just not true.

“i told him to go for the track runner, she had a better ass anyways,” the first guy said, as the other laughed.

comments like these were nothing new. men like these were nothing new, but it didn’t make the ache in your chest any less painful. worst part was that you’d let them, you wouldn’t stop them - you couldn’t. anytime you tried standing up for yourself you felt at loss for words, your throat closed up, and your mind went blank.

“excuse me, guys,” a new voice joined in. “the last time i checked this was the olympics, not who has a better ass competition.”

you didn’t have the nerve to turn around to see who that new voice belonged to. you just clenched and unclenched your fists, trying to control your breathing.

“also if i may suggest one thing-,”

“you may not-,”

“you may want to check out your own ass… or the lack of it,” you could hear the smile in his voice.

the two guys grumbled something and left the line, but not before one of them bumped into you with too much force for it to be just an accident. muttering a curse under your breath, you massaged your slightly sore arm and prayed to whatever force for the two fuckers not to pass their eliminations.

“are you okay?” you could feel the guy's breath on your neck.

fuck, now you had no other choice but to acknowledge what had just happened. if it was up to you, you’d happily skip breakfast and run back to your room. who would’ve thought that the cardboard bed would be the equivalent of a safe haven.

“uh,” you took a shaky inhale, “i’m okay.”

“just turn around, smile politely, thank for the help, and move on,” you thought. but as you did that, your eyes went wide, and your breath hitched in your throat.

you found a set of hazel brown eyes looking at you with curiosity and a tad of softness as if asking a silent question if you were really okay, a kind smile that managed to calm your pounding heart on its own, and cheeks dusted in a light shade of pink as if he had just finished his morning run. the guy couldn’t be much older than you and was the perfect height. you didn’t have to tilt your head in an uncomfortable way to look him in the eye, and he didn’t have to look down at you as if you were a dwarf.

his dark brown hair was hidden under a beanie, and despite the oversized shirt and shorts, you could make out his lean build, which made him stand out from the other bulky men around. you quickly figured he was part of the us team by his outfit, but you couldn’t rack your brains around what type of sport he could be doing.

he looked so… laid back compared to everyone around.

“are you sure?” he asked, his gaze still attentive to you and you only.

you nodded your head. “sorry you had to listen to that,” you said.

“i’m sorry you had to listen to that,” the guy muttered. “you know those dudes are total douchebags, right?” annoyance flashed across his face for a second, “people like them shouldn’t even be here and-,”

“it’s okay, really,” you said with a stern voice, cutting him short. grateful - that’s what you were - and it was really nice of him to stand up for you, but you couldn’t shake off the feeling that he saw you as nothing more than a weakling that couldn’t even stand up for herself. and that had to be more embarrassing than the comments.

he must’ve noticed your sour expression, because he quickly said, “i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“you didn’t, i… i’m sorry for snapping at you,” god, you really messed this up. this gorgeous boy just saved your ass from getting harassed, and you were acting like an ungrateful bitch. “i’m just not the best at dealing with… whatever that was,” you cleared your throat. “but thank you, it was really kind of you, and you didn’t really have to say anything, but-,”

“but i would’ve been the biggest asshole if i hadn’t said anything,” he chuckled, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “i couldn’t just let those two fuckers say those things about you. about anyone for that matter. what kind of person would that make me?”

you nodded, though if you had to be real - you were too distracted by his eyes to focus on what he was saying.

“okay, that sounded so pretentious,” he said, frowning, as if cringing at his own words. you couldn’t help but giggle at his expression. he looked really adorable despite his disgusted look.

and that didn’t mean anything good. you knew yourself, and you knew how easily it was for you to fall for a person that showed you an ounce of kindness, even if they did it just because they were a good person. and that was probably what was happening now - he saw you getting harassed, he stepped in, said a couple of words, and that would be it.

but you. you’d think about this for the rest of the olympics. about his teasing voice, the slightly curly hair coming out of his beanie, the fact that you’d never know what kind of athlete he was. the freaking hazel eyes.

“i’m vernon, by the way,” he, or vernon, extended his hand.

you cringed at the thought of your sweaty palms, still closed in fists. and it wasn’t like you could wipe them right in front of him. now that would just send you straight into a coma. but you took it anyway, it couldn’t get worse than the comments about your flat ass, you figured. and if he noticed he didn’t say anything, just smiled and nodded when you told him your name.

“so, do you have any plans for today?” he asked, letting go of your hand way too soon for your liking.

“i was planning on eating breakfast, but…,” you shrugged.

“well, i might have an idea then,” he said, a proud smile on his face. “have you ever tried skateboarding?”

…

you did not think this through.

trying to skate on a wooden board with four wheels sounded kind of appealing at the moment, but now - now that you were about to actually stand on it? huh yeah, you’d rather stick to keeping your own two feet on the ground.

“it’s not going to kill you, you know?” vernon laughed, as you looked at the board in front of you with pure horror. there was no way anyone could survive skating on that thing, let alone doing tricks and flips or whatever they did with that torture device.

“just,” he pulled the board closer to you with his foot, “lean your weight on me first and i’m going to hold you, just so you can get comfortable standing on it,” he said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

would he think you were a complete loser if you ran away? maybe you could blame it on a sudden stomach bug or something.

“mhm, yeah,” you breathed, grabbing his extended hand. “easy peasy.”

luckly for you, the skatepark was still relatively empty since most of the village was trying to fight others in the queue for food, so the chance of you skating into someone by accident was almost non existent. but that did not change the fact that you were on the verge of a panic attack. why did you say yes to this? why did you step out of your comfort zone so easily? comfort zone was good - you loved your comfort zone. that was what kept you safe from agreeing to skateboarding on a whim.

but it was so easy to say yes when vernon looked at you with so much kindness. you just weren’t able to decline - there was something about him that put you at ease, whether it was his voice or mannerisms - he oozed with so much calmness that even your erratic heart was screaming “say yes!”

“put your right foot in front of the left one,” he said, still grasping your hand tightly. “and keep your knees bent, it’ll help with keeping your balance.”

you watched him as he showed you how you were supposed to stand correctly, and tried to mirror his stance the best you could.

“that’s perfect,” vernon said with a bright smile, as if you just won the gold medal for not falling off the board on the first occasion. “told you you’d do a great job.”

“this is ridiculous,” you muttered, as your legs wobbled. “i’m looking worse than a baby trying to walk.”

he rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically, making you giggle. “i love your form of self motivation. now,” still holding onto you, vernon walked around the board, “uh, is it okay if i put my hand on your waist?” he asked, and your heart skipped a beat.

usually, you’d immediately say no, but… there was nothing usual about vernon as it turned out. if this was your day of breaking your walls then so be it. you nodded in agreement. “try to put your left foot on the ground and push yourself forward,” he said.

your thin t-shirt did nothing to conceal the warmth coming from vernon’s hand, but somehow, instead of making you more nervous, it only calmed your wobbling feet and shaking hands, grounding you on the board, making it less scary by the second. you’d never met anyone before who had been so gentle with you, so patient and understanding so quickly.

“like this?” you took your left foot off the skateboard, but before it could reach the ground you wobbled backwards. “vernon!” you shrieked, ready to fall ass first on the asphalt, but that never happened. your back met his solid chest before you could move more than an inch.

“‘s okay,” he said, gripping your waist tighter. “i’m right here.”

you breathed a sigh of relief. “i don’t think this is a good idea,” you looked over your shoulder at him. “what if i break your board?”

“i have ten others,” he stated as a matter of fact, not bothered at all even if you actually broke his board. “try again, i’ve got you.”

the next try went a little bit better, at least you managed to put your foot down without bumping into him again.

“okay, now push yourself forward.”

“just… don’t let go, okay?”

“i won’t,” vernon said. you could feel him so close to you, his breath creeping down your neck. “i won’t.”

you never thought you’d feel so accomplished by such a simple thing, you were a gold winning athlete for god’s sake, but when you finally moved, when the board skated forward and you were still standing on it - you felt a flicker of pride settle in your chest.

“that’s it,” vernon said, giving your hand a squeeze. “you’re doing great. try doing that again.”

and so you did just that. you pushed yourself forward, again and again, until your feet weren’t wobbling at all, and your moves were getting more confident.

“i’m doing it, i’m…,” you laughed, “vernon, i’m skateboarding,” you said, pushing once more.

“yes, you are!”

wait. why was his voice so distant?

that’s when you realised you couldn’t feel his hand on your waist anymore, nor were your fingers intertwined with his.

“vernon?” you asked, alarmed.

“just don’t turn around-,”

but it was too late. you took a look behind you to see vernon standing a couple of metres behind you, and that was enough to lose all of the balance, all of the control.

“shit,” you heard him scream, right before you closed your eyes shut, readying yourself for the impact.

the board flew forward as you slipped backwards, your hands flying to your slides trying to hold onto something. but there was nothing, just air.

but then - the strong grip, the warm embrace, the hands that you trusted so much - you could feel him all around you. no pain, no broken bones - just vernon.

“shit, i’m so sorry,” he said, still holding onto you. “i shouldn’t have let you go.”

gently, he helped you sit on the ground, his eyes scanning all over your body, looking for any injuries.

“it’s fine, i just panicked,” you said, and put your hand on his shoulder, pulling his gaze back to your eyes. “seriously, it was actually quite fun.”

at that, vernon’s expression softened a bit, and after a second he even flashed you a smile.

“that’s good, that’s…,” he exhaled. “that’s a lot for one morning i think.”

you laughed, and shook your head. “yeah, i think you’re right. but you know,” you looked over at the board that was still rolling on its own. “i think i’ll stick to watching you skate. i don’t think i’m built for this.”

his body shook with a silent giggle. “i’m still proud of you.”

“thank you,” you said quietly. and you truly meant it - not only for catching you, or trying to teach you how to skate - but for standing up for you when he could just ignore it and move on with his day, for pulling you out of your little safe bubble. that thank you meant a lot of things and you hoped that vernon knew that.

“were you serious, though?”

you frowned, not really sure what he ment.

“that you want to watch me skate?”.

any other day you’d say no, but…

“yes. i’d really love to.”

a beautiful smile bloomed on vernon’s face, and you knew right there and then that the feeling of gratitude was forming into something more than just that.

“my eliminations are in two days, uh and maybe, only if you want, you could come?”

you nodded eagerly. at this point you weren’t sure you were able to tell this man no at all.

and you couldn’t wait to see where that would get you.

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jacaerysgf · 8 months ago

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The Rockstar and Me

requested: would it be okay, if I requested a rockstar!jace x reader? were theve been best friends since childhood and the reader has a crush on jace. jace is a really popular upcoming rockstar and is super busy. he dosnt see reader the same way (just as there bestfriend) and kind neglects the reader bc he's really busy. so one night the reader has enough and they decide they need to take a break from there friendship, so they don't talk for a while. and then jace kinda realises he missed up and took the readers love for granted. In this time he he realizes he like her too.

w.c: 1.6k

c.w: just some minor angst and some fluff :3, not proofread

masterlist - requests open

You are going to scream.

Not of horror and certainly not of pleasure but you were just so annoyed.

Your roommate would not stop playing their fucking songs, most people would call you crazy but you swear you were about to look for a new apartment and put in big red letters, DO NOT REPLY IF YOU LIKE THE WEST DRAGONS. You have nothing against their music but it all just leads back to him.

Childhood best friend and crush turned ex-best friend rockstar Jacaerys Velaryon. He was your best friend for so long and you had liked him, a part of you still does. A part of you still misses him but you did what you had to do.

You could not just sit around and let him ignore you like that, time and time again he would blow you off to the point you grew sick of it and blocked his number and never looked back. You didn’t just ghost him. instead opting to send him a long messages about how you needed space and he was no longer the guy you knew anymore and told him you were gonna reach out anymore.

That was three months ago and your sure he hasn’t even fucking read it let alone try to reply to it. Three months since your life flipped upside down, moving to a new place, still in the same city but further away from him, new job and some new friends, it was odd at first and still is, being away from him but you won’t just let yourself be walked all over like that.

You had planned to stay in tonight like you normally would but your roommate had other plans, standing in the middle of the room bickering with you while you try to block out the sound of their music in the background.

“I don’t wanna go out sab.” “Come on live a little, come out to the bar with me.” “Maybe another night.” “Nope you are coming tonight. right now. get dressed.”

With that she sprints out of the room and you groan knowing she won’t take no for an answer and get up to get ready. Its just one night out, it won’t be so bad, plus it a good excuse so you don't have to hear his music anymore.

Yet when you walk into the bar its packed with people lining up in front of the stage, you turn to sab and tilt your head. “What is going on?”

She looks at you with a big grin on her face, “I didn’t tell you, oh my god the west dragons are performing here in a few.” Your stomach drops.

No you had to leave, maybe you could fake an illness? No she would catch on and force you to stay. You could make yourself throw up? that would cause too much of a scene. You were definitely going to be sick when you see the lights dim and they walk up on the stage.

He’s the drummer he should not even see you right? you’ll just sit at the bar and count down the seconds until the show is over and you can book it out of the room. Aegon greets the crowd as the groups lead singer and your stomach continues to churn. You met him a handful of times and he was always nice to you, he had a nice voice you could agree but you felt so sick anytime you heard their songs.

The show went on without a hitch and you wish the ringing in your ears would get louder so you wouldnt have to hear it. You find yourself reminiscing about your time with jace with every song that plays. You miss him. Much more than you’d like to admit.

You dont allow your eyes to drift behind aegon, yet you hear him, the sound of the drums, it haunts you, sometimes you can see his hands peak out, when aegon moves you can see his dark curls but never look too close to see his face.

They are taking a mini break with aegon entertaining the crowd, the show is almost over, you could not wait to go take a shower and try to act like this night never happened. Aegons eyes drift around the crowd while he’s talking and they land on you, you watch as his eyes widen and he stumbles over his speech for a moment as he turns back for a second to look at jace.

That was not good. Not good at all. “What was that? do you think he thinks your cute?” “definitely not.” Your words come out more strained than you would like and she looks at you confused, “Is something wrong?”

You open and close your mouth unable to know what to say. Your chest feels like its closing in on its self as she grabs your shoulders worriedly. “I need some air.” You quickly stand and rush out of the bar, sab quickly following after you. The two of you don’t notice the pairs of eyes that trail after you.

You lean against the wall on the outside and try to catch your breath. You did not think this would affect you so much, maybe because your whole life has been around him that now it just feels odd that he’s not around. This whole thing reminded you too much of going to his gigs and him coming up to you after the show to ask you what you thought.

“Who cares if i liked it jace? the people loved it.” “I care, you matter more to me than them.”

“Okay what the hell was that?” You run your hands along your face and stare at sab as she looks at your worried. “Its nothing.”

“oh fuck off its not nothing, nobody just runs out the room looking like they just saw their ex boyfriend over nothing.” She gasps at her own words and covers her mouth, “Oh my god wait did you actually date aegon? fuck if i knew i wouldnt have brought you here im sorry-” “I didn’t date ageon sab and i didnt date any of them.” “Then what happened?”

The two of you freeze as someone clears their throat and sab gasps as she turns around. “Im sorry to interrupt but, do you mind if we talk?” Jace. He was staring right at you. Sab looks between the two of you and gives you a look that says she wants to hear all about this before she runs off.

You stand in silence,, not wanting to be the first to speak. He puts his hands in his pockets and kicks on of the rocks on the ground. “How,,, um how are you?” “Im good.” He nods and continues to simply look anywhere but your face. “Thats good thats good um..” Its awkward. So awkward. It was never this way before but you guess thats just what time apart does to people. And you hate it.

“How are you?” He looks up at you shocked before he stumbles over his words, clearly very nervous. “Im good, im good, um, no no im not good actually. I miss you, so much.” Your breath hitches as you watch him continue to speak, “I regret how i treated you, so much. Im so sorry i miss you more than anything please, i just want us to be friends again, ill do anything to make it up to you.”

You don’t know what to say what to do. This is what you’ve been dreaming of for so long but your heart aches at the thought of returning to being just friends.

“I can’t be friends with you jace.” He stumbles back as if you had shoved him and he looks around attempting to compose himself. You swear you can see tears glazing in his eyes, “I um,” His voice cracks as he speaks and he coughs into his arm, “I understand yes of course, im sorry for bother-”

“I cant be friends with you jace because i cant bare being just friends. All ive ever wanted for so long was to be more with you, and if i go back to being just friends ill spend the rest of my life miserable because ill just be dreaming to be more with you.”

You do not even know when you had begun crying but you feel the tears begin to run down your face as you close your eyes and tilt your head down towards the ground. You feel his hands grip your face and pull you up to look at him, seeing his own tears running down his face.

“Im sorry, im so sorry. I love you. Im sorry it took me so long to realize this and that i had to be apart from you to know but ive realized i need you, i love you so much youre my best friend, the only person i need, i love you.”

You shake your head in disbelief, “You dont mean it.” “I do i do mean it, i love you so much.”

He presses his forehead against yours and you sob harder. “I love you jace.”

“I love you so much, i will work everyday to earn your forgiveness to even be worthy or your love.”

He shakily presses his lips against yours in a peck and you two smile at one another.

“No more ignoring me?”

“Never, never again.”

perm jace taglist <3

@tyronesien @itsbookworm987 @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @jacesvelaryons @ravenn-darkholme

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gaytommykinard · 2 months ago

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The first package is delivered to Harbor Station on Christmas Day. Tommy is out on a call and misses the courier by mere minutes, but the probie was around to sign for it. There's a note next to the address label, “KEEP REFRIGERATED” written in big block letters. Curiosity gets the best of him, and he opens the box to find a carefully packaged entire roasted... it's too small to be a chicken. Then his eye catches the folded card tucked between the aluminium tray and the left side of the box: roast partridge with pear and thyme, served with sweet potatoes, mushrooms and green beans.

It’s... fucking bizarre.

Who is sending him an entire dinner in a tray on Christmas Day? There’s no return address, and the recipe card is unsigned; it lists the ingredients and instructions for reheating, and “bon appetit” written in delicate handwriting at the bottom.

Sure, every firehouse receives a lot of baked goods and festive boxes of cookies and treats from the community during the holiday season, but this is an expensive home cooked meal, lovingly prepared and delivered specifically to Tommy.

It does smell amazing, though, and he decides to stop overthinking and grabs a fork and digs in; even without reheating, it’s delicious. Tommy shakes his head and puts it in the fridge, and spends the rest of his shift looking forward to going home and enjoying the meal.

#bucktommy #me: im not gonna write any more bucktommy christmas fics!#also me opening a new doc: ah shit here we go again #idk where i'm going with this or if i'll finish it #but tommy has an unexpected secret santa

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damn-stark · 8 months ago

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Chapter 9 Pure as The Driven Snow

Chapter 9 of Moonlight

A/N- We’re back with new chapters! I hope you guys like it. I got real nervous writing this. I don't know why! Also is it a sign that your dragon likes your lover more than your husband?

Warning- some swearing, talks of pregnancy, Angst!, fluff, hunting SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- After 1x10 & before 2x01

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

*A FEW MONTHS AGO*

“Dragon fruit for the dragon Princess?”

“Pearl necklace for the Siren of Driftmark?”

“Oranges? They are good for a growing babe.”

You touch your 6-month-old swollen belly and come to another stop in front of a stand to study the big round oranges stacked so neatly on the crates.

“How much?” You ask the vendor.

The man puts his hands on his hips and studies his fruit for a moment before facing you. “Discount for you Princess. 5 Silver dragons.”

You glance at Aemond, and he makes his hesitation known before handing you your pouch of money. He doesn’t find this trip necessary, he says that whatever you want can be brought to you right away, especially because you’re with child, but, being stuck in the same rooms all day is torture! You told him the baby and you would go mad while batting your eyelashes really sweetly and he hesitantly accepted without a fight.

“I’ll give you 10 golden dragons instead of silver,” you tell the vendor as you get out the golden coins that make the man’s eyes almost pop out of eyes. “Find good use for it.”

The man shares a nervous laugh and takes the money, but holds your hand before he steps away and bows his head. “Thank you, Princess. Thank you, may the gods bless you and yours.”

You offer him a kind smile, and then gently pull away to pick the oranges, but he suddenly blocks the oranges with his hands. “No, these are no good. I have perfect ones. Juicy and sweet.”

He crouches and pulls out a box from under the table and hands it to you. Albeit before you can even reach for it, Ser Criston takes the box for you.

“Have a nice day, sir,” you direct at the man before you continue down the street lively with people.

“<He ripped you off you know,>” Aemond grumbles in High Valyrian so the people around you wouldn’t understand him.

You scoff softly and hook your arm around his. “In Winterfell, Lady Arra, and Lord Stark treated their people like they were friends and they got respect.” You sigh and shrug gently. “Of course, I know not everyone has good intentions, but Lord Stark taught me how to read people. I try to use his advice when talking to people here, it is why I know this guy was no trickster.”

Aemond hums in comprehension but doesn’t actually agree or take in what you said. You may be down amongst the people, but he’s in the clouds where he’s untouchable. The only thing that matters is your mention of Lord Stark.

“You and Lord Stark are close friends?”

You don’t remove your hand from his arm even if you’re tempted to, you don’t let your eyes flicker even if you have the burning need to look away to hide the truth. You keep the faint smile that decorates your features and keep looking around. “Well considering I lived in Winterfell for five years, yes, we are good friends. Or were.”

“You don’t write?” He probes and keeps his focus on you to try and watch for anything that might give you away. “You often get letters from Winterfell.”

There’s no excuse for a lingering silence, you can’t breathe a certain way because he’s paying close attention, so you turn your head to meet his gaze and share your rehearsed lie. “Sometimes, but I talk to someone else. A lady friend that lives in the castle. One of late Lady Arra’s friends.”

Aemond holds your gaze and tries to pick up on something just a hair out of place, but you keep composed well and he goes unaware once again, letting you let out a small breath and smile with relief.

“I won’t go poor by giving these people something extra. Bless them and the gods bless you. Lady Stark would say that.” You return the subject to what you were previously talking about. “Besides I actually got a craving for oranges. Or the babe did.” You grin and touch your belly again, feeling a small movement now that makes you giddy.

“Feel,” you beckon Aemond and snatch his hand from his side to press it against your small belly. “He’s moving.”

Aemond comes to a stop in the middle of the street and caresses your belly very gently, letting you watch his blue eye soften, and those thin lips show a faint smile.

And since it took him no time to show his affection or his bliss you can’t help but grin in awe before you slide his hand to the other side. “See?” You interject softly. “He wants oranges.”

A wider smile tugs on Aemond’s face before he takes your hand again and continues to walk with you down the street.

“You do not know that it is a boy,” he likes to remind you.

You giggle. “I do. It’s an instinct. When I imagine the babe I see a boy. Always. We will have a boy. I’ll even bet you.”

Aemond scoffs and smirks. “You can place your bets with Aegon. He never turns down the chance to gamble. I believe you.”

“Good,” you grin. “Now I wonder how many kids we will have, six? I want a big family. But if I can’t have so many I will be content with two, but we need to have a baby girl.”

“So you can name her Daenys?” Aemond finishes for you, making you look at him with awe.

“You remember?” You probe.

A small smirk spreads on his lips and he nods. “I do. You’d only bore me with stories about her.”

You roll your eyes. “I wouldn’t bore you. You’d bring me the books!”

“Because it was your favorite,” he counters softly.

You laugh softly and nod. “It still is. Maybe our Daenys will be an amazing dreamer just like the great legend that saved our house.”

“Yes,” he agrees with an obvious glee in his voice. “Maybe.”

You let out a content sigh and rest your head on his shoulder while you take in the stands you pass.

“Spare some food? Money?” A child with his face covered in dirt asks. “Something small?”

“<He just wants to steal from you, they always have money.>” Aemond points out.

Even if he did, you don’t care, you stop and turn to pick out an orange off the box.

The kids' eyes grow curious, and they follow your hand as you move it towards him. You pretend you’re going to give him a single orange, but you then hand it to Aemond and instead grab the box from Ser Criston’s hold.

“Take it,” you tell the kid. “It’s for you.”

You put the box down in front of him and offer him a smile before you move on. This time Aemond doesn’t remark on your actions—you wouldn't care either way, so he just lets it pass and takes your hand in his again so you wouldn’t wander off just as you approach the outer castle gates.

However, before you can cross the courtyard, a woman with a bright red dress walks out of her house and announces something that steals your immediate attention. “Wish to know your future, my Princess?”

“Princess,” Ser Criston immediately interjects. “She’s only trying to take your money. It’s a scam. Leave it.”

You flick your wrist down and take the money pouch from Aemond’s side.

“Your worry is misplaced, Ser,” the pretty lady with beautiful and remarkable colored eyes cuts in. “But I understand. Patience is a fickle thing is it not, Ser Criston Cole? If only you had known it, you would be happy now.” Her eyes dart to you and then go back to him quickly as if trying to point something out.

You don’t read into it, or demand an explanation, you let her continue as she looks between all three of you. “I am a humble servant of the Lord of Light,” she rebuttals, “I only mean to give the Princess insight for her eyes are covered and her soul is basked by darkness.”

You smile at her eagerly and let Aemond go to step towards her. “What is your name?” You ask first.

The woman's bright eyes meet yours and her lips tug upward just slightly. “I am Kinvara, Priestess of the Lord of Light.”

Your name passes Aemond’s lips, but you disregard his warning and the priestess tries to ease Aemond’s worry in your mother tongue. “<I am no one to fear, fear resides in the whispers that are heard in the shadows, and from the lips of pretenders,” she pauses and narrows her eyes on him. “You see clearly with her at your side, venture too far and you're left blind. Don’t let the shadows consume you, My Prince, or darkness is all you’ll know.>”

You glance at him and grin brightly before facing her again. “Now can you tell me what I seek?” You press impatiently.

Kinvara turns and walks inside, speechlessly motioning you to follow, but before you can you face Aemond first. “Wait for me out here,” you tell him.

Aemond shoots you a pointed glare and grabs your arm. “Let’s go. This is all fake. She will take your money.”

You pat his cheek and give him one last piece of reassurance. “She can try but she’ll never steal my riches,” you quip. “I’ll be fine, it’s just for fun.”

You shoot him a small smile and then lean in to kiss his cheek before you follow after the Red Priestess, finding a single fire lit on a golden bowl in the middle of the elegant parlor room.

“How much will it cost?” You ask her as you slowly wander to the stand holding the bowl.

“Nothing but your attention,” she shares in a soothing voice. “And a drop of your blood.”

You stop before the bowl and don’t question offering her your hand even if you should, and Kinvara doesn't make it any harder. She’s quick and doesn’t hesitate picking out a single thin needle before gently cupping your hand and poking the sharp end on the pad of your thumb.

When a scarlet drop of blood crawls out of the small wound she pulls your hand over the flames and turns it to face the flames. After the single drop of blood falls in the flames she lets your hand go and throws the needle in the flames to let the fire eat away at it.

“You have fire-made flesh, a gift from the Lord of Light,” she begins to say bluntly.

You would’ve liked to be eased into it, but you’re no expert so you clasp your hands over your belly and watch her eyes read the dancing flames with curiosity.

“You have salt-littered blood and a dragon-made soul that burns fiercely and passionately; she flies high within the clouds in search of something…” she lets the words slip out as if she was chanting a spell, and then meets your gaze across the flames.

You should be intimidated, but you’re just eager to know more.

“…three hearts,” Kinvara adds. “One made of ice, two of fire. Three soul made dragons…”

Three, huh?

“…and loyalty.”

It’s hard to piece anything together but you still can’t help but feel joy, and an overwhelming curiosity that pushes you to pick at one thing that caught your attention. “Three soul-made dragons? Does it mean I’ll have three kids?”

Kinvara smiles sweetly. “Smart girl, but you’ll have seven. The three I see will grow, they’ll know happiness and long lives.” She hums and blinks whilst her smile fades to a smirk. “But sins will burden them and cast over them like shadows.”

Right away your smile fades and for the first time since you saw her, fear begins to crawl across your mind. “What…does that mean?” You ask quietly.

The red priestess lifts her chin and sighs. “You’ll know.”

How insightful.

“One more thing,” she interjects and moves away from her spot to reach you and grab your hands “Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon. Follow the flames for they are sweet to you since the moment your right was taken.”

You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. You don’t understand completely, or at all actually, but you nod in comprehension before you just feed one more piece of curiosity. “Could I read the flames as well?”

Kinvara moves back across the flames and points her chin to the fire, encouraging you to try and read what the flames could tell you.

“You might not see your own future, remember that. If you see anything it will only be glimpses,” she lets you know while you step forward and focus your eyes on the bright flames seeming to lure you in; but not like every other time before, this calling is different now, you don’t have the urge to touch the flames or bathe yourself in their fierce beauty.

What calls you now are whispers; unclear, but trying to make sense in their own way.

“Listen,” Kinvara says as if can read your mind. “And open your eyes.”

She can’t mean your actual eyes because those are already open, she must mean it metaphorically or whatever, and as difficult as it seems you draw out a deep breath and focus on nothing else but the dancing flames; you don’t let Aemond come to mind, nor do you think about what was told to you, you narrow your gaze slightly and watch in silence.

After a few moments, you start to grow irritated, but suddenly before that frustration breaks your focus you freeze and catch your breath when you see snow falling. It’s clear as day as if you’re living through what you see.

Something falls with the snow though, something thicker and different in color. It’s slightly intoxicating and brings a stench of fire and smoke with it.

You have the urge to dive deeper to figure out what you see, but the scene changes to more white plains covered in snow, ashes, and bones, and above it stands a woman with silver hair. She stands above it all while a winter storm descends upon her. You see her start to turn her head but before you can make out her face, fire is all you see.

“<A long winter.> Kinvara breaks the silence and pulls your attention back to her.

“<Yes,>” you respond in High Valyrian as it actually makes sense.

The priestess offers you a smile and walks to the door. “It was a pleasure meeting you. I’ll see you again.”

You’re left in so much disbelief that you don’t question what she means by “I’ll see you again.”, you bid her a farewell and return to Aemond.

“I was about to barge in there,” Aemond says in a rush.

You blink repeatedly and meet his gaze with your disbelief still clinging to your features. Aemond notices and grabs your shoulders.

“What is it? What did she do?” He hisses.

You draw out a deep breath and with that push away all your disbelief to not worry him over something that’s not clear.

“Nothing, she simply told me we’ll have seven kids,” you share the only thing that was clear.

Aemond scoffs in disbelief but he leaves it at that. Just as you do.

——

*NOW. WINTERFELL*

When you think of home, Aerion, your mother, and your brothers are what you picture in your mind. They are your home, it doesn’t matter the place, as long as they’re with you that’s what you call home.

But oftentimes, when the word home comes up, when you think about home sometimes you picture these tall grey walls, you see these snow-covered hills, the white skies that stretch for miles and bring icy winds and delicate and beautiful snow. You see grey eyes and a timid smile. You remember the warmth from all the fires lit all day and the warmth his body provides. You think of home and someone who isn’t your husband is all you see. You try to fight it, but your longing is stronger than your will.

Now as you stand in these snowy planes and feel this instant comfort fill your heart all you can think about is how dangerous it is.

You were too hasty to make your suggestion and climb your dragon. You’re only steps away and as heart racing as it is, you also can’t help but strain your heart with anxiety as well.

Letters are completely different than seeing face to face again than feeling his hand grab yours and feeling his lips brush your knuckles. Jacaerys is here but will that stop your deep desires? Will that stop him from being mad at you for being distant and not writing to him anymore? Will that stop that tension?

But why is it that a problem?! You’re married! And you love Aemond, he’s your home too; him and Aerion are your family. A family you built after being apart from your own, and even if you have this new strain, you still want to fix it, you still want to fight for Aemond and your family. You have to be strong for them. You can’t give in to what feels comfortable and what your heart might cry for. You have to be strong. You have to be friends and nothing more.

“It’s snowing,” Jacerys muses as he reaches for a snowflake. “I honestly thought there would be more.”

You glance at the open gates and already imagine him waiting in that courtyard in front of his staff, family, and friends. It’s impossible to ignore two dragons descending in front of your home after hearing about an impending war and a call for a declaration from the Greens.

“It’s a lot colder than I thought it would be down here,” Jacaerys adds to his rambling. “How did you ever do it?”

“Well we are in the North,” you mutter unaware of your tone.

“Oh, no need to get snippy, I know where we are,” your brother remarks.

You sigh and turn to him. “Sorry,” you admit. “It's just what if he says no? It’s almost winter, his people need him here. And what would he gain from supporting one or the other, he could just decide to remain neutral.”

Jacaerys leans forward and tries to be assertive. “He’ll gain the Queen's lifelong gratitude, and a chance to prove his loyalty…he’s a Stark, you know that, they take pride in their loyalty. I don’t see why he’ll turn us away. Do you?”

No, but that’s not really why you’re worried, in one form or the other you just needed to be assured.

“I see your point,” you tell him.

Jacaerys gaze lingers on you to be an assuring brother for a moment longer before it’s time to break away from your running thoughts and growing panic and face Cregan with your head held up high, and a fierce determination on your face.

Yet when you walk past those main gates, that fierce determination is met with inklings of worry. Your head is high, but it’s practiced, it’s years of practice, there's a tension on your shoulders, and your breathing is slightly hitched because of your racing heart making your lungs work overtime.

You try to show your confidence in your stride, you are the Queen's daughter after all, but the closer you get to that courtyard the more you hide behind Jacaerys, as if that will help you avoid anything you’re about to face.

If someone were to guess, they’d say it’s your first time here with the way you’re cowering behind your brother and letting him carry all the confidence and pride for you both, but it’s not. As you trail behind your brother, some people you pass by actually recognize you.

You are Winterfell's luminous sun after all, the warmth and light in the darkest winter storm and lightest snow days, capable of melting the most stubborn ice. To their Lord though you are much more and it’s been easy to notice since the moment your purple dragon was seen. You are the reason he smiles, and the sun that gleams in his grey eyes.

But like the sun you hide. You finally make it to the main courtyard but Jacaerys is the first one seen and almost the only one they can see. You don’t want to come out of hiding because you don’t want to see him.

Your heart is pumping so fast, and your hands are trembling. You can almost feel a tightness grab ahold of your chest.

“Jacaerys,” you call out in a quiet panic.

Said man turns and when he does he uses his whole body to move away from you, in that moment leaving a clear and open view of none other than Cregan Stark. There he stands, tall, proud, and mighty. Grey eyes bright and soft even against his hardened gaze. His pink lips form into the faintest smile that you notice right away because you can’t help it, everyone and everything disappears, leaving only him and you in the snow-covered courtyard.

Not even your initial panic exists anymore, it melts away, and your body eases with a simple look into his familiar eyes. Your once-racing heart slows down, but now flutters and skips a beat, and you can’t stop it. Just like he can’t help himself because here you are again, across from him with light snow perfectly raining over you, eyes so deep and captivating that he loses himself within with ease. Your face is basked by a gleam of light that makes you so much more divine, and a heartwarming smile decorates your perfectly sculpted lips.

Now he knows composure, he knows his place, but in this small escape where only you and him exist, it’s costing everything within him not to break away and capture your lips with his. He just wants to grab and kiss you, but your trance is broken by the sound of your name being announced followed by your house.

“…of House Velaryon, wife of Aemond Targaryen.” And then there's that ridiculous reminder that you are not his anymore.

Luckily that cruel reminder is not with you, instead, there’s another, smaller in stature, but still standing tall and mighty with gold dragon emblems on his belt and on his cloaks broach. He proudly wears the colors black and red which shows who he is without the need of an introduction.

“Prince Jacaerys, of house Velaryon,” the guard still announces the man you’re accompanied with.

“My Prince, my Princess,” Cregan speaks in that thick northern accent that makes your heart swoon. “Welcome to Winterfell.” He bows his head, and the crowd behind him mirrors him.

When he raises his head again and stands tall the first thing he does is meet your gaze. You should glance away and share why you’re here, but you part your lips and only a soft breath comes out as you hold his gaze.

“It’s a pleasure to have you back, Princess,” Cregan addresses you formally, hiding away the history you share. “The North has missed you.”

Your cheeks grow warm, and your lips form a flattered smile before you announce it. “You flatter me, My Lord. I have missed the North, and the snow as well.”

He huffs in amusement and spares a glance at the falling snow. “Well you’re lucky then, it just started to snow. It seems you brought a late summer snow with you.”

You share a breathless giggle, and his eyes share his awe.

“My Lord,” Jacaerys cuts in and reminds you he’s here too.

“Oh right,” you cut in and look at your brother, seeing his eyebrows furrow as he looks at you and then glances at Cregan. You ignore him and grab his arm to go on proudly. “Lord Stark, my brother, and my mother's heir, Jacaerys Velaryon.” You share what he was already told, but it feels right to introduce him yourself again. “Jacaerys, this is Lord Cregan Stark.”

“It's a pleasure, my prince, welcome to the North,” Cregan addresses him kindly, making you smile. “Your sister has told me many tales about you. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Your brother bows his head. “Likewise, my sister speaks fondly of her stay here too.”

Cregan glances at you and the corner of his lips twitch ever so slightly.

“I do wish I was here under better circumstances to have some of that fun my sister always goes on about,” Jacaerys starts to get to the point, leaving no time to wander. But that’s good, you are here on business, you can’t forget that.

“But unfortunately we are here under orders of the Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” Jacaerys proclaims, making the crowd murmur as the whispers they’ve heard are finally confirmed.

Cregan nods stiffly and glances back at his great hall just behind him. “I assumed so,” he says and looks back at Jacaerys and you. “Let’s go talk inside. I’m sure this change of weather is not so agreeable for southerners used to warm summers.”

Jacaerys scoffs softly and nods before he follows Cregan’s lead unaware of the fact that he’s leaving you behind as you’re stopped by some people in the crowd.

“Princess,” a thin middle-aged man who works inside the castle greets you and steals your attention.

“Good sir, John,” you greet him with a smile. “How is your daughter?” You ask as you remember how she had been when you left.

The man nods eagerly and smiles in return. “Very well, my princess. Healthy and strong. The gods let her survive her fever,” he shares and points behind you. You follow his line of gaze and see his daughter in a tall tower watching what you can only assume are the dragons in the distance.

“I told you she’s strong,” you tell him with genuine relief.

“Princess,” one of the cooks addresses you, making you turn to her and smile.

“Ms Maribell,” you turn your attention to her. “I’m glad to see you.”

“And you,” she returns sweetly. “I hear you have a son, where is he now? Why didn’t you bring him?”

You nod. “Yes,” you share excitedly and touch your chest. “Aerion. He’s four months old, but sadly I had to leave him behind with my mother, what I’m out here doing is no place for children I’m afraid. But I do want to bring him after these affairs are in order.”

“When you do, stop by here,” she suggests. “I’m sure he’ll love Winterfell as much as you did.”

You grin and nod, but before you can add more to your friendly conversation, your name cuts through the icy breeze. You look over and see your brother with a pressing look.

“My brother beckons me, I’ll see you all later,” you excuse yourself and offer them a small head bow before you stride to your brother and take his arm.

“<We are not here for a friendly visit,” he whispers sharply in High Valyrian. “I know your history here, but please stay focused.>”

You sigh and look ahead, catching Cregan’s vigilant gaze focused on you after he, unbeknownst to you, watched you interact with his people and treated them like they were your long-lost friends. It honestly fills his heart with a warmth that makes his grey eyes gleam with a joy that you easily notice against his nonchalant expression while he waits for you and your brother.

Since he so often wears a hardened expression on his face it’s hard to know what he feels, but after five years you learned how to read him like a soulmate reads its other half without a need for words. Yet you don't know the exact reason why he was so touched.

“Forgive our delay,” Jacaerys instantly brings up like a proper Prince. “My sister is easily distracted.”

Cregan lets you walk in the great hall first and once the doors close behind him he huffs and responds. “Yes, I remember, so do not worry, my Prince.”

You glance at your brother and pass him a teasing look. He meets your gaze and shoots you a warning glare before he brings you both to a stop just under Lord Stark’s throne.

“I hope the northern winds weren’t too harsh,” Cregan addresses while he walks to his chair.

“Well they were colder the closer we got to Winterfell, but they helped our dragons pick up speed to deliver this message from Queen Rhaenyra Targaryen,” Jacaerys makes a quick workaround to why you’re here.

“Just last night I received an envoy from your uncle who calls himself King as well,” Cregan says as he takes the sealed scroll from Jacaerys.

“No, you got an envoy from a Usurper,” you immediately correct him. “The true ruler is the one the late King Viserys appointed as his heir, Queen Rhaenyra. That never changed nor was it his will for it to change after his death.”

Cregan glances at you and stares at you in silence for a moment as he processes your words before he finally opens the scroll and reads what was written.

“Your father bent the knee to Queen Rhaenyra when she was named heir, and swore that House Stark and the North will follow the line of succession,” Jacaerys adds to the point to try and further convince Cregan. “Now Queen Rhaenyra’s throne was stolen and demands you follow your father's path and stand proudly in support of her rule and war if it arises.”

You have seen so little of your brother's political side since you were reunited, so now that you see it you can’t help but be in awe of the man standing tall beside you, proving himself a worthy heir.

“Your words move me,” Cregan finally interjects as he lowers the scroll to look at Jacaerys and you. “And your presence honors me. Winterfell is almost at the edge of the world, but you still came to deliver this in your mother's regard,” he says and makes some of that tension release from Jacaerys shoulders. “I know of my father's oath to your Queen. I also know how deep disloyalty cuts when it’s made by one’s own kin, your sister was here to witness my uncle usurping my rightful place as Lord…which is why I do not intend to break oath today. The North will not break oath today,” Cregan proclaims confidently and with no falter, relieving your brother of his worry, but not yours.

“But,” Cregan proves your worry worthwhile. “Winter is coming my Prince, my Princess. And these seem almost like family affairs. The Queen has my loyalty, but why should we support this war? My priorities are with my people and providing for them before Winter arrives.”

You and Jacaerys share a conflicted look, but neither of you are stuck on what to say, you're just debating who should speak in your defense. You with an advantage, or Jacaerys with a blunt but respectful tongue?

Honestly, you both probably have great points, but in your speechless exchange, Jacaerys trusts you.

“I understand,” you argue and step forward, gaining all of Cregan’s attention. “I have not lived a true winter, but I understand your hesitance, My Lord. I understand your people need you now more than ever, but the Greens have an advantage, that’s something we can admit, and they will not be afraid to use it against you, and your Queen. They already steal from her, will you stand to see them take more? Will you stand and see your people and lands burnt? Will you sit and do nothing as injustice is acted upon your Queen? Or will you and your people fight for what’s right, and for the greater or good of the North?”

Cregan shifts in his seat and keeps his hardened gaze on you for a long and tense silence. You could read what he might be thinking, but you look at your brother and fall back by his side to wait for a response.

“Your words move me,” Cregan interjects with a small huff. “And leave me a lot to think about. I hope you understand my choice will not be taken lightly, I must speak with my own people on these matters, just be assured that the North supports the rightful Queen.”

Cregan stands from his seat and Jacaerys steps forward to cut in. “How long will we have to wait?”

Cregan raises his chin. “Soon, I swear,” he promises. “As for now, you must be tired from your travel. Baths will be drawn in your quarters, and supper will be served shortly in this hall.”

You draw in a deep breath and much to your surprise you’re the one who grows impatient instead of Jacaerys. “Thank you, My Lord Stark,” you deadpan and bow your head.

Said man catches your tone before the change on your face, but says nothing on the matter. Instead, he walks down and points to the door that leads to your apartments.

Yet before you can make any attempt to walk out, the doors open and a servant carrying a dark-haired child walks in, and without as much as insight to clue you in, you know who the child is right away, you can see it in his familiar dark eyes, and that kind resting face.

“Oh gods,” you muse excitedly and lose all your annoyance in the blink of an eye. “Is this baby Rickon?” You direct at Cregan.

“Yes, this is my boy,” he assures you and you don’t wait for the wet nurse to come to you, you meet her halfway.

“Jacaerys,” you exclaim as you grab the child’s hand with a bright grin. “I helped deliver this child!” You squeal and turn back to the baby.

“I believe it,” your brother mutters.

“Hello little Lord,” you greet the baby a bit too excited. “Look at you, you look like your mother…May I?” You direct at the wet nurse, and she doesn’t hesitate to hand you the child who is a mirror of Arra.

“Hello,” you greet him again a lot softer this time since he looks at you puzzled. “I know you don’t remember me, but I remember you. How old are you now? 1?”

You don’t expect an answer, but the baby does. “Hello.”

You beam at him and caress his head while you share a happy look at Cregan. “I can’t believe it. Words truly aren’t enough, Rickon is so big. I’m so proud.”

“He would’ve been out to greet you but you caught him in his naptime,” he says and steps towards you but keeps his distance.

“He looks like his mother,” you tell him and look back at Rickon, catching him taking the pearls around your neck. “Ah, yes, nice huh?”

“Hello,” he says again, making you laugh and turn to start heading to your quarters with the others trailing behind you. “My Aerion likes my jewelry too,” you tell him. “But he likes to suck on it. You just like to look at it, hm?”

“I reckon this little lord is a lot kinder than your Aerion,” Jacaerys teases as he falls by your side.

You roll your eyes at your brother and reassure Rickon. “Don't listen to him. He’s just mad because Aerion can sense his impatience. He’s very sweet, and I’m sure when he’s older you’ll be great friends. I’ll make sure of it.”

The baby is unbothered by what you say, but you couldn’t be more happier than to see Cregan and your friend's child. He reminds you of Arra, and when you think of Arra you think of where you are, and when you think of where you are all you feel is that comfort embracing you harder, consuming you little by little.

Which is dangerous, you know. The longer you stay here the more you let yourself get consumed by what’s familiar and kind that the reality in the distance becomes easy to forget.

But you can’t. You can’t let yourself feel complete comfort or you’ll run the risk of falling into the temptation you long for the most. Thus when you finish your bath you don’t linger in your borrowed quarters, nor do you explore what you left behind out of curiosity to see what’s new, you act as if you’ll be leaving any minute and visit where Arra was put to rest.

Yet that temptation finds you there and puts it all at risk. You don’t know about his looming presence until you turn away from Arra’s tomb.

“Lord Stark,” you gasp.

Cregan bows his head. “Forgive me I did not mean to startle you, I did not want to interrupt your moment that's all.”

You laugh nervously and glance back at Arra’s tomb. “If I did not visit her while I was here she would haunt me.”

Cregan hums and you stop avoiding his gaze to look into his grey eyes.

You had hoped to contain yourself, but in the silence that falls as you just look at one another, you can’t contain your joy, it takes over you and before you know it you’re beaming like a shining sun and striding over to him.

Cregan gives in the moment you break and meets you halfway with a tight and warm embrace.

“I had come to terms with not seeing you again,” Cregan breaks the silence first as he holds onto you.

“Me too. I really did not think I would see you again,” you murmur excitedly and hold on for longer than either of you wanted to. You just can’t seem to let go even if there's a shared silence in which you keep in words that you both are aching to say and just add tension.

“I…I’m happy to see you again,” he says instead and pulls back to face you

“You grew out your hair,” you point out to change the subject. “You said long hair was for barbarians.”

Cregan chuckles, and you smirk. “Well, I thought I could try it out,” he says. “And it keeps my neck warm.”

You study his brown hair that falls just above his shoulders and let yourself have this one thing. “I like it. It suits you well.”

Cregan offers you a thankful nod and takes this time to study you closely again. “You seem happier this time around,” he points out.

You scoff. “What are you saying? Did I look miserable when I got here six years ago?” You tease lightheartedly.

Cregan nods. “Yes. You did. This time you look happy though.”

You sigh and glance at the exit as if you’d see your brother. “Yes, well my brother is here. As annoying as he can be, I am happy he came with me.”

“Mhm.”

You smile softly in response and to avoid staring too long into his eyes you start to walk out. But for a few seconds as you walk aimlessly there’s a silence that lingers until he finds what to say. “Arra’s friend came to see me a few days after you left.”

You glance at him with a curious gaze and probe. “Why?”

He exhales deeply and confides in you what he hasn't had the heart to share in letters. “She came to blame me for her death. She said I was the reason she died.”

You come to an immediate halt, and he follows suit and slowly turns to face your sorrowful face.

“She was hurt, Cregan. It was not your fault. She was just grieving,” you try to comfort him even if he didn’t ask for it because you know how much guilt he already carries for Arra’s death and because you can't stand hearing him blame himself.

“Well, there is some truth to it is there not?” He says breathily and averts his gaze.

You draw in a deep breath and reach out, but before you can touch his arm you clasp your hands and fiddle with your ring. “No. There is not,” you say firmly. “Childbirth is not easy. I hate to admit it but her loss is common. It cannot be helped, so no it is not your fault. Arra’s friend was just grieving the woman she loved.”

Cregan blinks and meets your gaze with gratitude behind his perked lips but hesitation in his grey eyes. You don’t think he’s going to say anything and leave it as him just processing what you said, but as you continue walking side by side he finally interjects hesitantly.

“Your son…how is he?” He asks as if it pains him to actually ask.

You smile proudly. “Good. Spoiled endlessly by all the love my mother is giving him, but he’s good,” you muse. “I wish you could have met him.”

Cregan swallows thickly and finds it in himself to speak. “I wish I could have seen him too, I am sure he looks like you.”

You meet his gaze briefly and nod with glee.

There's so much you can say at this moment, but there’s also so much you can’t say that you end up in this battle of not knowing what you should do. Should you touch into this past that you need to keep closed? Or leave it all unspoken and just filled with tension that threatens to overflow and break you both?

No one would have to know. You could speak about this unspoken past you both cherish…But! Then you think of Aerion, and when you think of your son, you think of his father and once again, you still want to fight for this relationship even if you stand on opposite sides now.

Thus you leave it untouched and just lean towards something else.

However, when you speak Cregan’s name to address something else he also speaks your name, leaving you at a crossroads he luckily lets you cross first. “About why I came—”

“Did you come to sweet talk me, princess?” He cuts in and does assume right, but that’s not what you’re going to say.

“Maybe,” you laugh breathlessly and exhale deeply to get at what you want to say. “But look, I understand you’re needed here, your people are your priority. Winter is dangerous, which is why we won’t ask for a lot. We’re proud and honored to get your loyalty, but anything you can spare will help. We may have more dragons, but they lack experience in war, unlike Vhagar.”

Cregan nods in comprehension and does assure you honestly. “I meant when I said I’ll try. I want to help the Queen, I swear. Let me just see what I can spare, winter is not friendly, winter is cruel, you know that.”

More than most…and more than he knows…

“I know.” You agree softly. “How long will that take?”

He sighs and shrugs. “A couple of days. Not long. Why are you in a hurry?”

You drag your gaze over to pass him a knowing glance because he knows that your presence means much more than anyone knows, and it brings risks.

Still, he smirks faintly at you.

“I will say,” you admit and smile at him. “I am glad to be back in the North. I missed it. It’s so loud in Kings Landing compared to here. And the view from my chambers?!” You exclaim without a care in the world. “Over there it’s busy streets, and here it’s serene hills.”

Cregan chuckles softly. “I told you there’s no place for you so far South anymore. You bring your son here and it is over for you.”

You laugh and nod. “I do love the sun though, and a sea in which I can swim in!” You nudge his arm, and he leans to the side with a smile.

“I will bring the warm sea here, I told you.”

You snort and shake your head. “While I'm here we need to show Jacaerys some of the fun we would have. I want him to see some part of Winterfell before we leave.”

Of course, Cregan doesn’t argue, he gives in but when he meets your gaze from the corner of his eyes he grows sweet and smug. “Not all the fun though?”

You hold his gaze and shake your head. “No. Not all the fun.”

He hums and looks at you with a dangerous longing look that you quickly look away from.

“Ice fishing?” You suggest.

“You have an entire day to waste?” He brings up and clears his throat.

You hum in agreement and stroke your chin, unaware of the fact that you’re being walked into the great hall.

“Owl hunting?” Cregan teases in that stern nonchalance, and you can’t help but burst out laughing as you remember what he means by that.

“You think you’re funny huh?”

“You just laughed.”

You shake your head and grab his arm to laugh more and much harder.

“I can’t believe you fell for it the first time.” He keeps taunting you.

You stand tall and throw out an excuse. “I was young.”

Cregan looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed and you look at him and laugh again, unaware of how lost you were until you hear your brother.

“Sister. Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you.”

You blink repeatedly and catch your breath before you point back at where you came from. “I visited a friend, Arra, remember? I needed to go visit her resting place before we left.”

Your whereabouts don’t really matter anymore, he was worried when he knocked on your door and you didn’t answer, but now what he finds more interesting is who you walk in with. He looks between the both of you full of curiosity and takes note of the way you walked in laughing, as well as the smile you wear, and the faint one that decorates the Lord's lips.

“I hope you are both hungry,” Cregan interjects while you come to a stop in front of the grand table. “We had something prepared for your welcome.”

“That’s nice—”

“We’re starving,” you cut your brother off bluntly and make your way around the table. “Flying for so long isn’t only draining for our dragons, but for us too.”

You approach Jacaerys and he surprises you by pulling a chair out for you. “Oh,” you praise his gesture. “Thank you, Jace.”

When you sit though he doesn’t walk around Cregan's seat like he should have, he makes sure to sit at your other side, leaving you in between both men.

“<What are you doing?>” You demand to know in High Valyrian.

Jacaerys pulls in his chair close to the table and looks at you to whisper back. “<Sitting.>”

You blink and lean your head back with a teasing smile playing on your lips. “<Are you nervous?>”

He squints and rebuttals immediately. “<What? Why should I be?>”

You’re choosing to be too naive and pat his shoulder. “<Your big sister is here do not worry.>”

He swats your hand away, and you steal a glance over at Cregan taking his seat beside you

“How many days do you have to be here before your husband sends you a raven?” Jacaerys fills the silence.

At first, you don’t want to entertain his question, he’s only going to make fun of Aemond, but you give him an assumption to be nice. “Three days. The last thing he wrote was, ‘come home now. Your place is here.’ And that was before we left the Eyrie.”

Jacaerys leans in and continues. “Has he actually written that he misses you?”

You hold his gaze and part your lips to argue in your husband's defense, but those words have not been written on paper so you don't rebuttal Jacaerys, you deflect. “Have you tried to make a move on Baela?”

Jacaerys clenches his jaw and speaks through gritted teeth. “What are you on about?”

You grab the cup in front of you and shrug. “What? She is your betrothed, it's okay to sneak off and you know, have a little fun.”

“Stop it.”

You take a sip of your drink and lean towards him. “When we get home I will play a game and lock you both in a room—oh! No! I’m brilliant!” You exclaim and push yourself back, making him grimace.

“Shut up.”

“Nothing boosts romance more than a fun little adventure, just you and her alone,” you share excitedly without shame that you’re talking to your brother about romance as if he were a lady. The gods didn’t give you sisters, just five brothers, so you have to make the best of what you have. “I will throw you out of the castle to go fetch dragon eggs, or you know, something fun.”

“You’re childish,” he snaps at you under his breath.

You exhale deeply and sit back proudly. “And when your wedding comes I will be paralyzed with joy. Unless she marries one of our Velaryon cousins,” you finish in a whisper to just light a small fire under his ass.

“What?” Jacaerys asks in a shocked whisper, which you ignore to share an amused smile with Cregan.

“Princess,” you hear someone call before you see Lady Maribell approaching with servants carrying supper. “We made your favorite to welcome you and the Prince.”

You watch your plate get put down with a big appetite and then look at Lady Maribell and touch your chest. “Thank you, ma’am, I’ll make sure to savor it well.”

The lady bows her head and leaves the hall, letting you appreciate your supper and the fact that these people took the time to prepare your favorite meal by their own will, or for the wishes of someone else, you don’t know, but it’s a huge difference with the way you get treated in the Red Keep.

“I would like to make a toast,” Cregan’s voice booms throughout the hall as he stands up, pulling the attention of those gathered in the hall. “To the Prince and Princess. Welcome to Winterfell, you honor not only me but the entire North for coming in person in the Queen's regard…”

You smile up at Cregan before you share your joy with Jacaerys.

“Your stay will not be long, but we will do our best to make you feel at home,” Cregan continues before he looks over Jacaerys. “The North may be a drastic change, but it is beautiful. I hope you learn to grow fond of it just as much as your sister has.”

You don’t check Jacaerys reaction, you meet Cregan's gaze and follow him all the way down to his seat with a soft appreciative smile, while his own gaze softens…for a moment, because his gaze then drifts over your shoulder and it loses that gentle touch.

You follow his line of gaze and meet your brother's thankful but slightly narrowed look that he holds with a smile. And as to not make suspect something you raise your cup to him.

He returns the gesture before looking past you again, making you now look at your steaming food and let out a slow deep breath as you try to remind yourself to keep yourself contained. In doing so, albeit you remember the tragic dinner you had at King's Landing not many nights ago and you now start to feel amused by the memory.

You happen to let your gaze wander over to your brother in the midst, and he slowly locks eyes with you. Silence follows for a moment, but then as if mentally tangled with your thoughts you both start to giggle before you chuckle together.

“Man,” he says between laughs. “I wish I would have seen your right hook. I missed it!”

You cover your mouth and stifle the laugh you want to let out and respond. “He was so shocked! I was holding that in for so long!”

You snort and lean towards each other. “It was such a mess from the start, but I applaud your toast. That was smooth.”

“Really? Thank you, I think I landed it too.” He takes your compliment and you both laugh together again before he grabs your shoulder and turns you towards the man at your other side.

“Lord Stark,” he happily drags Cregan into the conversation. “Considering you are friends with my sister, I will tell you a great feat she completed a few nights ago on our last night at Kings Landing.”

You shake your head lightheartedly and lick your lips as you catch your breath.

“To make this story short, one thing led to another and my sister landed a right hook on the usurper,” Jacaerys shares, making the corner of Cregan's lips twitch.

“He slammed our brother's face into the table,” you try to give reason to your actions. “I acted. My rings helped too.”

Jacaerys laughs softly and you meet his gaze and smile wide.

“It seems like an impressive feat indeed,” Cregan says and lets his gaze linger on you. “But I cannot say it surprises me, your sister has never been one to recoil from such things. I’d say she's fond of it.”

“Too much,” Jacaerys remarks. “It is why she would always get in trouble.”

Cregan huffs softly and meets your gaze. “I only wish I could have seen it,” he says directly at you while also letting your brother hear.

You can’t help your deep breath, or stop your face from burning under his impressed gaze. You don't say anything but luckily that conversation leads to a lighthearted dinner where Jacaerys and Cregan start to talk more instead of just passing glances.

Unfortunately, you do the one thing you told yourself you didn’t want to do, and that’s losing yourself in the bliss that comes with interacting with your brother and Cregan, the man you…have a secret past with.

You thought you could do better, you wanted not to get lost at all, but it pulled you down rather quickly and you couldn’t fight it. Especially because there’s something about seeing Cregan interact with your brother without tension or disdain, that makes your heart swoon.

“Jacaerys,” you blurt and turn to him. “Let’s dance.”

His eyebrows pinch together and he shakes his head before he answers. “What? No!”

You ignore him and jump from your seat to grab his arm and pull him with you to the center without as much as a protest. He likes to act all tough and nonchalant in front of others but he’s a big sweetheart when it comes to you and your brothers.

And he proves that further when he doesn’t fail to make you smile when you’re dancing slowly at first to follow the beat of the music that plays in the corner. When the music picks up he becomes faster but disregards the actual beat to start spinning you around the room.

“That’s not how you dance this!” You remark without much meaning behind your words. “You’re going to get me drunk!”

“You can handle it. You love it!” He assumes right and goes faster around the room without that initial worry of being judged or carrying this tough and proper image.

Neither of you actually find a worry in the world, it’s just him and you in that moment, laughing, and unaware of the pair of grey eyes that follow you all around the room. People talk to him, and a commotion surrounds him but Cregan finds a way to keep watching you laugh with your brother as he takes you around the room.

He should feel somewhat upset that your brother is bringing this different kind of joy out of you that he never saw when it was just you and him, but his heart only fills with bliss as he sees you so overjoyed. He knew how much you missed your family when you were living in Winterfell, so how can he be upset and petty that you’re so drunk with bliss by your brother's company?

Only a fool would refuse you this joy.

“Princess!”

You come to a quick halt and give your attention to the one who seeks it; catching Ser Rolf, one of your greatest friends just past the door.

“Ser Rolf!” You greet once you know who has beckoned you, and let your brother go to rush to your friend.

“I heard you were here and I came as fast as I could,” he says and answers your curiosity as to where he’s been before you had the chance to ask. “I almost feared I missed you.”

You shake your head. “No, you got lucky. Come!” You pull him with you to return to your brother. “Ser Rolf, this is my brother, Prince Jacaerys Velaryon.” You immediately introduce them.

“My Prince,” Ser Rolf greets him properly.

“Jace, this is one of my greatest friends from here, Ser Rolf,” you explain. “He went to my engagement tourney and played in my honor.”

Ser Rolf scoffs. “Well, I needed to show off my skills, and not let you Southerners forget how talented we can be.”

You smile at him and you both purposely leave out the other reason why he had gone.

“It's nice to finally meet you,” Ser Rolf directs at your brother. “Your sister often spoke fondly of you and the rest of your family.”

“Did she?” Jacaerys presses and flashes you a smug smirk. “When we return to our brothers I’m proudly going to use that over her head.”

Ser Rolf laughs and nudges you, and you roll your eyes.

“Do you mind if I steal your sister from you, My Prince?” Ser Rolf asks.

Said man shakes his head. “Not at all, go ahead, I need to step out anyway. I will be back.”

You offer him a comprehensive smile and watch him leave the hall before you face your friend. “Are you going to dance with me?”

Ser Rolf scoffs. “No. Unless it’s a command.”

You smile in amusement and shake your head. “Never to you.”

“Good, I may be swift with a sword, but I'm afraid I'm not a gifted dancer. My wife can attest to that,” he breathes out and points his hand away from the crowd of people dancing to walk away together.

“How is your family?” You ask.

Your friend looks at you and smiles sweetly for the first time tonight. “Good. My girl is a year old and a delight. You have a son, I heard.”

You clasp your hands together and nod. “Yes, Aerion. He’s four months old, and his father's pride.” You share now that you can share it with someone since so many details about your son felt wrong being shared with Cregan.

“About…the father,” Ser Rolf picks on that matter as he sits around the first table you see. “I hope my actions in that tournament did not get you in trouble. I saw him later that night at a feast after the tournament was over.”

You sit down first and sigh before you shake your head. “No. Do not worry…was he…” you trail off and glance at the ring Aemond gave you to fiddle with it. “…with anyone?”

You can feel Ser Rolf press his gaze on you, but you avoid it and wait, even if you shouldn’t considering who’s occupying your mind now too.

“No,” Ser Rolf answers hesitantly, making your heart skip a beat. “He was lurking in the corner watching over the other silver-haired Prince.”

You swallow back nervously and meet your friend's gaze to press him since he didn’t sound convincing. “Tell me, Rolf. I can take the truth. I mean look at me, I’m on opposite sides of this war.”

Ser Rolf quickly shakes his head and looks at you with a pitiful look. “I swear it, Princess. He was lurking the entire night. When his brother brought in women and tried to gift him one as an engagement present, he finally left.”

You let out a relieved sigh and nod in comprehension, feeling a lot more assured now than before. “Thank you, my friend.”

“Of course.”

You feel it now…how much you’re starting to miss Aemond. Which is all so conflicting, but you admit it, you miss your husband, especially when it’s just you and him. That’s when he lets his guard down and lets out this person he keeps within; this sweet, affectionate, and amusing person that knows how to love you in the way you want to be loved, and knows the deepest parts of you, while he lets you know his.

He doesn’t hide his love for you in public, he's not overly affectionate but he makes it known that you’re all his and he’s all yours. And perhaps that makes you a little too attached to one another, but you take pride in it and never feel alone.

But…

Yes, there’s a but when you’re in Winterfell, when Cregan is close, and when he comes to mind. You can’t let Cregan go. The love you shared was so consuming, it was full of passion, it was exciting, and it had so much to give that no matter what, you could never get enough of one another.

But that's it isn't it? Was. You need to let go.

“How are you…holding up?” Ser Rolf breaks you from your troubled mind and only makes you confused. “With…you know…” he trails off and points to the side.

You follow his line of gaze and realize that he’s referring to Cregan.

“Rolf,” you warn him, making him laugh.

“He’s finally smiling,” he makes matters worse and makes you smile down at the table while your stupid heart skips a beat.

“He hasn’t been with anyone,” Ser Rolf clarifies and you snap your eyes at him and kick his shin.

“Stop.”

Rolf smirks and rubs his wounded area, while your eyes wander to the man you’re talking about, and you see him leaving the hall.

You almost find it in you to follow him out, but what will that bring? Nothing but temptation. You did good before when it was just him and you, but the stars are out, and the snow blankets the ground, it will feel like one of those nights when you would admire the sky in each other's embrace, and you’ll probably lose it, so you stay put and keep talking to your friend while also watching for your brother.

Eventually, more of Cregan's friends join Ser Rolf and you, but as much as you enjoy their company you can’t rest easy without knowing about your brother. He left a while ago and hasn’t returned. He would’ve told you if he went to bed, but he hasn’t. He said he needed to step out and hasn’t returned.

Maybe he froze out there since all he’s used to is a chill—but more seriously you should go check on him.

You stand up and just as you’re going to excuse yourself you catch your brother walking inside in front of Cregan.

They approach the table and you want to ask about your brother's whereabouts, but Cregan interjects. “I've decided we could take him hunting tomorrow morning and have lunch there, so he can know some of the North’s wilderness.”

You look at your brother and he gives you an assuring nod. And considering Cregan hasn’t given you an answer you have no choice but to accept. “Very well then.”

“I might’ve overshared with your brother just now,” Cregan continues to direct at you as you step back and sit back down.

“No, no,” Jacaerys shakes his head. “He glorified.”

You cross your leg over the other and press them. “What?”

Cregan glances at your brother and then looks back at you. “I might have praised your archery skills on dragonback.”

You smile at Cregan and pass your brother a cocky look. “It’s true. I am an excellent shot on Dragonback, but I cannot take all the credit, Astraea helps me when she flies. I think Lord Stark is just too in awe of the dragon itself.”

Cregan huffs and points his chin at you. “You are being too humble. You deserve the praise, not anyone can hit the target while moving, especially while flying. And you like to stand, which, that alone deserves its own praise.”

You shake your head. “You flatter me too much.”

“But I do suppose the same cannot be said about your traps. She almost caught her own leg once,” he shares a bit too amused. “Arra caught her in time.”

You shake your head. “It was not my fault,” you rebuttal. “You were distracting me. Hunting is done in silence and you distracted me.”

Cregan scoffs. “Are we talking about the same day?” He teases. “You are remembering wrong. I did not do such a thing.”

You touch your chest and slowly get up. “Lord Stark, are you calling me a liar?”

He shakes his head. “Admit it, you could have used help.”

You inhale deeply and nod. “Only if you admit you spoiled our bait for that fishing evening on your name day.”

Cregan parts his lips but he can’t deny you so he presses his lips together and nods slowly, causing you to nod in return, and share a mutual agreement to your questions through shared glances that you don’t break. There in the middle of your friends and brother, you look at each other as if it’s only you and him in that hall, in this world entirely. You exist only for each other.

Until the reminder tears it all down and pulls you back into reality. “Sister why don’t you sing us a song,” Jacaerys exposes you.

“What?” You gasp and ignore all the looks you get.

Jacaerys nods. “It seems fitting. It’s still early, I think it would be nice for you to fill the hall with your song.”

You blink repeatedly and shake your head quickly hoping he’ll get the hint, but he does the opposite as if purposely torturing you. “Wait…you have not sung here?”

You stay quiet and spare a glance at Cregan who is too amused by what’s going on.

“Wow…” Jacaerys trails off to chuckle before he faces the crowd of your friends and Cregan. “That is why she is called the Siren of Driftmark.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and groan.

“I thought you said it was because you were a good swimmer,” Ser Rolf points out.

You shake your head. “No,” you grumble.

Jacaerys moves over to you to grab your shoulder and shake you gently. “She’s really good. She sings all the time,” he praises you. “She just sang the other day when we got to Dragonstone.”

You shake your head and feign a smile. “No, no, my brother is being too nice. He’s exaggerating.” You laugh and then turn to your brother to shoot him a burning glare. “You’re exaggerating,” you sneer at him through gritted teeth.

Jacaerys chuckles and pushes you forward. “Sing us a song. Come on!”

You share a breathless chuckle and turn on your heels to point back at your brother. “I would not want you to cry,” you reveal and glance at the crowd. “When he was a boy he would hide at the back of the crowd so no one would see him cry when I sang.”

Jacaerys doesn’t give you the satisfaction of being flustered, he just smiles, and Cregan steps in.

“Come on, prove your name, princess.”

You pass him a glare and sigh deeply.

“Just one,” Cregan insists with a sweet and intrigued look that really makes it hard to say no to.

“Fine…” you give him brugrudgly. “But…I’ll sing a Sea Shanty. One father liked to sing with us, Jacaerys, so you can sing with me.” You smirk.

Your brother is quick though and shakes his head. “No, no, anyone happy enough can sing a Sea Shanty. Sing a different song.”

“You’ll be surprised not everyone can,” you murmur and stare at your brother with a piercing glare but don’t argue now. You’ll get nowhere, so you begin to step away from the crowd. “Only if you do it,” you protest and turn back to your brother.

“No,” he snaps.

“Do what?” Ser Rolf probes.

You grab your brother's arm and he gives your friend the answer. “Our father would present her to the crowd as if she was a famous singer before she sang.”

You nod eagerly and shake him, but he shakes his head to deny you of such a pleasure.

“I’ll do it,” Ser Rolf volunteers and takes you with him, but leaves you at the side as he runs to the center and steals everyone’s attention.

“Can I get everyone’s attention please! Tonight we have a special guest blessing this hall with her song! May I present the Siren of Driftmark!” He shouts and you don’t shy away or protest now, you run to the center, and bow to the crowd while you spread your arms out like a dragon spreads its wings.

“Hello, Winterfell!” You address the crowd and stand tall without a hint of smugness or your nose in the air to show your royal status, you show off a charm that hasn’t been seen in this hall and gains all the wavering attention to you, as if you were born to lead the masses. “Now, now I know what you may be wondering! Can she really sing, she’s never proved that to us! But,” you laugh softly. “I promise that I at least will not make your ears bleed.”

The crowd laughs and a warm look grows on the serious Lord’s face.

“This song goes to my brother who accompanies me this time around,” you let it be known so you don’t share all the attention. “And of course to your Lord Stark. Thank you for hosting us tonight, my friend.”

You flash him a smile and he nods gently in return, unable to keep his eyes off as you whisper to the band in the corner. He follows your every step with a curiosity that grows only as you clear your throat, take in the crowd that’s gathered in the hall, and draw out a deep breath, because after you part your lips and start to sing softly for all the crowd to hear, all he knows is complete awe as you grow louder and more enchanting with your song.

You become one with yourself and it makes it impossible for anyone to turn away, all the attention is on you as if you were a real-life siren. Yet no matter how many eyes watch you, how surprised and amazed everyone is, and how that prides you, all your attention falls on one man who only watches you with awe, because in this hall it’s just you and him once again.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Fishing has never been your strength, you enjoy the quality time when you go with someone, but besides that, you aren’t patient enough to wait for a fish to take the bait.

It’s why as you watch the blue fish in murky waters you make sure to stay out of the water as you slowly pick up your bow, and align your arrow, hoping it won’t hear you and swim off somehow.

Albeit the fish with blue scales moves, making you hold your breath and wait…

Good thing it just moves under the sunbeam that casts in the water. Now though, you do feel guilty for trying to kill it, it’s so beautiful, its scales glimmer a deep blue against the sun like the prettiest gems are stuck to it.

Yet a fish is all it is.

Before you can shoot though, the fish swims away quickly. “Damn, damn,” you hiss and move your aim along with its hasty movements to not let it get out of sight. And just before it can escape into the shallow river, you let the arrow go and luckily shoot the fish right through its eye.

“Haha,” you celebrate to yourself and throw your bow aside to pull your fur cloak off and leave it on the giant rock so it doesn't get wet when you step into the water.

“Oh,” you gasp at the icy touch and rush to grab the fish on the tips of your feet whilst letting out quick ‘oh’s at the cold touch of the water.

However, before you can attempt to turn and run out of the water you catch a branch snap behind you and stiffen.

There's only two people it can be, but you’re still so nervous that the Greens are going to find you that your mind panics and quickly makes you reach for your dagger around your belt.

When you hold the handle you slowly peer back and gasp when you just see Cregan. “Gods,” you breathe out and let the dagger go. “You startled me.”

Cregan finally walks out of the tree line and puts his hands up. “Forgive me, I didn’t want to interrupt your moment. Forgive me.”

You laugh nervously and walk out of the water with relief, and your trophy in hand.

“You’ve been on edge lately,” he points out as he watches you trade your trophy for your cloak.

You sigh. “With this impending war, my husband and his family have been insistent on getting me and Aerion back to King's Landing, that I fear they’ll be in every corner I turn,” you share as you hang your cloak around your shoulders.

Cregan drops his head and nods gently. “Well, no Greens will reach you here. You have my word.”

He looks up and you meet his gaze and offer him a gentle and thankful smile before you grab your arrow from the rock and show off your prize. “I promised my little brother Joffrey we would go fishing, but I think this way is more effective, do you not think?”

Cregan gets closer and tilts his head to the side to shrug. “Can’t say it’ll be called fishing if that’s the way you go.”

You scoff and flick your wrist to brush him off. “Sure it is, we will just use a bow and arrow to catch our fish. I don’t want to wait hours to get one on a hook.”

Cregan huffs and you take that as a challenge. “But I know fishing in the extreme is not for everyone.”

A faint smile breaks on his face and he remarks. “Who do you think you are talking to exactly?”

You shrug and pick up your bow to offer it to him. “Prove your skill, Lord Stark.”

Without further argument, Cregan takes the bow and narrows his gaze. “You know how much I hate it when you’re so formal with me,” he remarks.

You shoot him a simple teasing smile and let the bow go to fall by his side instead. “Alright there’s one right across from us,” you whisper as you hand him an arrow. “Quietly.”

Cregan aligns his arrow and tilts his head down toward you. “Who taught you to hunt?” He picks on your comment.

You lift your gaze, catching the gleam in his eyes, and giggle. His gaze lingers, threatening to drive your heart mad so you look down first and he follows your gaze to follow his prey. When he thinks he has the right angle to catch the fish he lets the arrow go, but the wooden weapon whizzes to the fish's side and only works to startle it away.

“Aha!” You blurt and grab his arm. “I told you. Skill!”

“Oh, hush you,” he brushes you off with a grin before he walks over to collect your arrow. “Oh, by the way, singing?! How come you never told me?”

You sit back on the giant rock and shrug. “One, because I was quite timid to sing to you,” you admit and make him smile at the ground. “And two…after my father died…I just lost my heart to sing. It did not feel right.”

Cregan steps out of the water and his smile fades to show his comprehension. “I understand,” he says quietly and puts your arrow bag in the leather holster.

“I would sing for my grandfather Viserys when I returned to the Red Keep, but I didn’t have a heart to sing until I had Aerion,” you muse as you miss your boy. “He made me find my voice again. And now he falls asleep to my song.”

“What a lucky lad,” Cregan says and steps toward. “You have a beautiful voice. I understand why you got your name.”

A warmth creeps on your cheeks and you smile at the rock beneath you. “Thank you,” you whisper. “And don’t take it as something I hid from you, you are just learning something new from me.”

He hums softly and adds. “It’s just a way to keep me on my toes, I respect that.”

You return his hum and blink to look over at him, catching his watchful gaze, and feeling at that moment a need to entrust him with something that’s been troubling you, something that didn’t satisfy you when you spoke about it to your grandmother.

“Can I ask you something?” You ask hesitantly. “If it makes you uncomfortable, tell me, all right?”

Cregan shifts in his stance and nods without hesitation. “It’s all right, go on,” he assures you to keep going.

You avert your gaze and fiddle with the ring that Aemond gifted you. “It’s just,” you breathe out and make sure Jacaerys isn’t approaching before you continue. “You’re the most loyal man I know. Your oaths are everything to you,” you tell him, making him slowly sit down beside you. “So can you tell me where my loyalties should lie? Should I return to my husband? Especially now that we have a child should I follow him blindly? Growing up, the Septa’s would plague me with how to be a good wife, Alicent makes indirect comments all the time, it's my job as a woman to be a loyal wife, but…” you trail off and look up at the sky and exhale shakily.

“I love my mother, I love my family, and I know she’s the one who belongs on the throne,” you continue to confide in him. “It was stolen from her, nothing will ever make me look at that differently. I will follow her rule, but…Aemond is my husband. He stands loyally on the other side, shouldn’t I stand by his side? Follow him blindly?” You ask from the depths of your torn heart and drop your gaze to look at Cregan with an aching look that wounds his heart.

“He might be your husband, and you may have a responsibility to him now that should come over your mother, but you still have your beliefs,” Cregan says with sincerity since he knows that all you need now is a friend, not a jealous ex-lover. “What you want still matters. And you know what you want to do, I hear it now, I see it with my own eyes. Don't betray yourself just because you don’t want to disappoint one or the other,” he reassures you softly and leans closer to you without actually touching your hand that’s pressed on the rock next to his, he doesn’t let his breath unfurl over your skin, or let his lips brush against your cheek. He just gets his face closer so you can feel his comfort.

“Would you do it?” You can’t help but ask. “Would you go against your wife if she was on opposite sides of a war?”

Cregan sighs deeply and doesn’t debate his answer, he nods, and you add something that pains him to hear because he knows what it really means. “Even if you loved her?”

Cregan swallows thickly but he doesn’t let his eyes fall, he nods stiffly. “If it was the right thing to do, yes. Even if it pained me.”

You drift your gaze away and nod, hoping you can beat the stinging in your throat, but tears fall from your eyes.

“It’s okay,” he whispers. “It will be okay.”

You sniffle and meet his gaze to probe speechlessly.

Cregan understands your gesture and nods, making you offer him a gentle smile and lean towards him. “Thank you, Cregan. It really means a lot.”

“Of course,” he says with a caring look that works to assure the doubt and lift the weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders since you found out what happened.

“Thank you,” you add much to his surprise and yours while letting yourself grab his hand. “For loving me.”

Cregan stares at you for a lingering moment with his eyebrows furrowing and unknotting with every emotion that runs through his mind and makes his heart race. “I would do it again, it was my honor,” he speaks softly.

Your bottom lip trembles but you don't cry, you let your head fall on his shoulder for a brief second to express the deep unspoken love that you’ll never actually be able to let go. It’ll forever be scarred in your soul.

And that’s all you could ask for in this world full of horrors. Even if there's no proper goodbye, and there’s so much left untouched, this moment is all you could ever want, it welcomes a comforting silence that brings a smile to your face as you both watch the serene environment.

“We should find your brother,” Cregan breaks the silence after a long moment of being selfish.

You hesitate for a moment but you slide off the rock and collect your stuff before you lead the way back into the forest.

“Do you…” Cregan starts to say while he helps you by carrying the fish you caught. “Still dream of flying to faraway places?”

You keep your eyes out for your brother and purse your lips together as you sigh. “Would you be disappointed if I said I did? Only sometimes though.”

Cregan chuckles. “No, of course not. I’m glad you still do. Where to?”

You suck in air and twirl around to face him as you walk back. “Maybe,” you breathe out and happily share what he wants to know. “Yi Ti. I was given this beautiful gem necklace from there and I’ve been completely enamored by the place ever since. It’s said princes live in solid gold houses.” You nod eagerly, making him scoff.

“My most favorite gowns are made of silks from Yi Ti,” you muse and turn back around on your heels. “Some I have yet to wear because I have been saving them. Hopefully, I get to wear one soon! Don’t worry though my feet are still on the ground,” you make sure to assure Cregan. “I have not forgotten what I learned here.”

You hear him hum before he mutters. “I’m quite curious about these expensive gowns.”

Your breath catches in surprise and you peer over to shoot him a pointed look. He responds by flashing you a charming smile that makes you roll your eyes and hold back your smile.

Thankfully in that next moment, you spot your brother in the distance and force all your focus on him.

Jacaerys doesn’t seem to spot you right away though, so after a quick and brilliant idea hits you you leave Cregan behind to sneak around Jacaerys. Once you get close and he’s made some distance from the tree you’re hiding behind, you slip out and avoid stepping on all the branches and dry leaves. When you’re close enough you bite back your smile and raise your hands to jump on his back, but much to your misfortune he’s too perceptive and ruins your plan. “I saw your foot behind the tree.”

You blow out air and drop your arms with a pout. Jacaerys turns and spots Cregan walking out of the shadows first before he faces you and shows off the rabbits he caught. “What did you catch?”

You frown deeper and point at the single fish, making him chuckle. “That’s all?! I thought you were some great hunter!”

You roll your eyes and sputter out an excuse. “Well, I did see some rabbits but I didn’t want to kill them, they were adorable.”

And you can’t say Cregan distracted you either, for the most part, you were just walking and taking in the sights you left behind last year.

“Uh-huh.” Jacaerys nods with a smug smile on his face. “Sure,” he quips. “You are such a girl.”

You roll your eyes and wave him off before you get ahead of the group and lead the way to a distant clearing where you’ll have lunch. “A few months back,” you share to fill the silence and avoid your previous topic. “I was at the market street and on our way back I ran into this Red priestess.”

“A witch,” Jacaerys corrects you, causing you to turn around and counter.

“No, a red priestess. Calling them witches is kind of mean.”

Jacaerys scoffs and turns to Cregan for support. “I say witches, what do you call them here, Lord Stark?”

Said man grabs his blade hooked on his belt and meets your brother's gaze with a hidden smugness behind his eyes. “Witches, but sometimes we call them pretenders, depending on the price.”

Jacaerys chuckles and you know they’re obviously just working against you so you choose to ignore the negativity and go on. “Anyway!” You exclaim and twirl back around. “She told me my future. She said…” you leave them with anticipation for a few seconds before you share what you were told. “I would have seven kids.”

“Gods,” Jacaerys murmurs.

“Mhmm.”

“Now,” Jacaerys cuts in and rushes over to fall by your side, leading Cregan to fall on your other side—“Who will give you all these children if your husband dies in this war?”

Without as much as thinking you turn to your brother and nudge his chest to make him think it’s something you planned when really you’re just teasing him. Kind of. “You. We could get married.”

Your brother's face falls and he immediately shakes his head and turns you down bluntly. “No. I would not marry you.”

“Oh right, there’s Baela,” you point out and grab your chin as you think deeply. “Well…I could take her. She’s quite terrifying, but yes,” you nod and look back at your brother. “I can take her in both a dragon fight and hand-to-hand combat…I think.”

Jacaerys' nose scrunches and he shakes his head again. “No, I would not marry you! You are…you.”

You look around confused and pick on that considering your house is known to marry within the family to keep the bloodlines pure. Aegon and Helaena are married.

“So?”

Jacaerys parts his lips but he can’t think of a strong argument that will beat the truth. Yet you do take a good look at Jacaerys and find an excuse. “You are right,” you mutter. “We could not, I do favor taller men, thus maybe...” you trail off to think, leaving Jacaerys offended by your bold comment.

“A Prince from Yi Ti with a house made of gold,” Cregan finishes for you, making you snap your eyes at him and smile slowly in amusement.

“Funny,” you hold back your laugh. “Very funny.”

He rolls his head down and hides his smile.

Gods laughing with him is so much better in person. He can be very funny in a serious way that only makes what he says or does that much funnier.

“She also let me see in the fire,” you continue to share more excitedly now. “And what I saw was a girl—”

“Wait, wait,” Jacaerys cuts you off and wipes away his smile. “Now when this priestess of yours talked to you, was she on the other side of this fire?”

You look away and bite your cheek before you lie by shaking your head as a response.

Albeit Cregan knows you well and points you out. “Liar.”

“Yes, fine!” You exclaim and gently nudge him away. “She was at the other side, but it was not her that I saw, it was a girl with silver hair,” you catch your brother's serious attention now. “She…stood on top of a mountain covered in snow, ashes, and death.”

Cregan’s own amusement falls and your brother doesn’t dare to tease you now, so you go on.

“All brought by…<A long winter,>,” you finish in High Valyrian to mirror the way the Red Priestess told you before you repeat in the common tongue. “A long winter.”

Both men look at you but one doesn’t look at you with disbelief, nor fear, he’s serious and deep in thought, while your brother lets out a dry laugh and shakes his head to try and deny what you shared.

“I believe it,” you defend yourself and what you saw in that fire because it was clear as day as if you were seeing a memory that hasn’t happened.

“I also believe what this old man said about Ice dragons living past the wall,” you tell your brother, and Cregan interjects right away.

“Old man Thomas is known for tall tales. There are things that are true, but what he says is not.”

You shrug. “He’s well-traveled, why wouldn’t it be true?” You rebuttal and lean towards him.

“Because,” Cregan argues and leans towards you. “He likes attention. And he’s drunk all the time.”

“A drunk man is less likely to lie, you know that because you don’t lie when you’re drunk.”

His lips twitch and before he can respond with something in his defense his eyes turn to your brother at your other side. You discreetly follow his line of gaze and catch your brother's attention so you play it off quickly.

“All I’m saying is I believe what I saw, it may not happen in our lifetime, but it’s in our future,”

A short silence follows that only works to make you grow nervous over what your brother might’ve just thought. But he thankfully brushes you off.

“Maybe but you probably got ripped off by a fake witch.”

Once again you choose to ignore this negativity spouted by your brother and instead drift your attention to lunch, and since Cregan was more in charge of guiding Jacaerys, he didn’t catch anything. All you have is the single fish you caught and the rabbits Jacaerys caught, but neither one of you wants to skin them, so you eat a small lunch and share the fish over a quite fun moment where you, unfortunately, don't receive an answer from Cregan, regarding what he’s willing to offer your mother.

You hoped he’d finally say it during supper, but supper came and passed, and nothing. That lack of response followed until the next two days too, leaving your brother quite impatient now.

“What have you told him?” Jacaerys greets you ever so warmly.

“What have I told who?” You pretend to act clueless while you pick a square cake from the tray and study it before you plop it into your mouth.

“Lord Stark,” he snaps.

You knew he was getting to that since you spotted him stomping over to you and Astraea, but you had hoped he wouldn’t get to it yet.

“It's been days and you said you would talk to him! We don’t have days to waste,” he remarks and spats out your name before going on to give you a mean reminder. “We need to leave and we have nothing.”

You don’t intend to sit up or fix your gaze on your brother, you keep yourself against your dragon's large arm and respond calmly. “He promised he would give us an answer—”

“When?” Jacaerys cuts you off and crouches down to take the tray of cake from you. “When?”

You drag your eyes up and nonchalantly answer. “He cannot pull the army out of his ass, Jacaerys. We have to wait, if he promised he would do something he is going to do it.”

Your brother rolls his eyes and turns away to let out a frustrated breath. “There's a difference between saying a promise and actually committing to it. I do not know how close you are or if you have actually talked to him, but you need to figure something out, that is why you are here.” He mutters.

You watch him knowing that he has a right to be annoyed, Lady Arryn gave you her answer quite quickly, and you’ve been in Winterfell for days but still haven’t received a word on what Cregan will give to support his Queen, but you also trust Cregan, you know he’s going to do what he says, you just need to wait.

“I’ll talk to him again,” you assure him. “If he doesn’t give anything then we’ll return home with his simple loyalty.”

Jacaerys rests his hand on his hip and lets out a deep breath. “All right, that sounds good.”

You sigh and nod, letting a silence linger for a moment before you lean forward. “Can I get those back?”

“What?” He breathes out and turns all dramatically with his cloak twirling with him.

“My cake pieces,” you point at the tray in his hand with your eyes.

Jacaerys passes you a judgmental look before he leans over and lets you take the tray he took.

“Aemond found me,” you let him know of the raven that came to you this morning. “He said ‘come home at once’. Shorter than the last one but still persistent.” You giggle.

Jacaerys walks over to sit next to you against a sleeping Astraea. “Will you?” He asks with genuine curiosity.

You take a cake piece and shake your head. “No…our mother belongs on that throne and I am going to stand by that,” you say confidently now that you know where you want to stand. “He can try to take me by force if he wants, but I am going to fight for her.”

Jacaerys looks over at you with a faint smile and nods in comprehension. “I’m glad to hear it.”

You mirror his smile and offer him a piece of cake. As he takes one a memory creeps in and your smile widens before you can tell it to him. “Do you remember a few years ago, when Lucerys disowned me because he thought I ate the last piece of lemon cake?”

Midchew Jacaerys loses himself in thought before he snorts, spitting out pieces of cake, and causing you to scrunch your nose in disgust.

“Ew,” you grumble and he interjects abruptly.

“Yes! I remember he’s like you cannot be my sister anymore because you are selfish and you ate it all!” He mocks your younger brother.

You giggle and nod, but before you can add to that shared memory Astraea suddenly raises her head, bringing Jacaerys and you to a pause to look over; noticing none other than Cregan approaching.

When he’s near he bows his head and greets the both of you on the ground. “Good day, my princess, my prince.”

You smile at him and greet him for both Jacaerys and you. “Good day. It is nice to see your face today, we ate lunch and breakfast alone.”

Cregan bows his head again. “I am terribly sorry, I have been busy all day, I only barely got out.”

You remember his long days, on some terribly long ones, he wouldn't be let out until it was time to go to bed. You would usually meet him in his chambers on those days and just lay down enjoying each other's company. Today all you can do is look at each other as nothing but old friends.

“I hope your day has not been dull,” Cregan worries.

You shake your head. “No, we were just reminiscing about a day of our childhood when,” you snicker and go on. “Our little brother Lucerys disowned me because he thought I ate the last piece of lemon cake.”

Jacaerys nods and continues the story for you. “We both knew there was more so she pretended to leave. Our mother came in a few moments later with more and Lucerys completely freaked,” Jacaerys laughs and stands up as if that would change the way he was telling it. “He started bawling and ran out to look for our sister.”

“When he found me,” you finish the story. “He’s like I am so sorry, I never meant what I said. Come back, do not leave us. You can have as much cake as you want!” You finish with a laugh and Jacaerys joins you.

“That sounds like quite a memory,” Cregan says and reaches out to pat your dragon's snout since she leans towards him with dilated eyes. “Did your mother say anything?”

You and Jacaerys stare at one another in search of the answer, but you can’t recall.

“Not that I remember,” you mention and look back at Cregan. “But it was quite a memory. Lucerys is a sweetheart.”

Cregan hums and Astraea groans softly in response to his touch.

“Oh, maybe you needed something, my Lord?” Jacaerys only asks now.

“Well,” Cregan sighs. “I only wanted to invite the both of you to Castle Black on the morrow so you could see the wall, My Prince. Just before you leave, that is.”

You and your brother share a hopeful look and even if Jacaerys was quite impatient to leave, now he accepts Cregan's invitation. “I have always wanted to see the wall. It would be a pleasure.”

“Good, we will leave at first light then.” Cregan lets you both know and leaves you hoping for a good response that will hopefully make your mother proud.

A/N- Who’s the 2nd heart of fire? A new character we’re getting soon, or someone else

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me

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atiny-for-life · 8 months ago

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Ateez and KQ Entertainment - A Summary - UPDATED!

When it comes to K-Pop companies, anyone who's been a fan of any group for a while will know the majority of them are awful, greedy, and will sacrifice the health and safety of their artists for profit in a heartbeat. It's an awful industry built on the backs of underpaid, overworked young people who've been shamed and exploited since they were trainees and oftentimes bullied into plastic surgery, eating disorders, and mentally damaging competition with their peers. Many idols end up with chronic health issues, especially heart problems, long before they'll ever reach the average retirement age.

So what about KQ? Are they any different? Should we view them as one of them? Or are they an outlier like 1Verse's label SingingBeetle (founded by former SM employee Michelle Cho)?

Side note, and for the sake of completeness: After the group Block B, all its members including their parents, were exploited by their former agency Stardom Entertainment, KQ created an agency (called Seven Seasons) solely for Block B so they could continue activities. Unfortunately, back then, this was a job they were definitely not prepared for. There was mismanaging going on and Block B fans don't look upon that time fondly. Since then most, if not all, members have also eventually stopped renewing their contracts.

However, these days, we've got Ateez, Xikers, Maddox, Eden and everyone else under the company refer to KQ as a family. Why is that? Let's gather what we know.

The Beginning: Accepting Hongjoong as a trainee

Most Atinys will already know the story of how Hongjoong joined KQ as their first ever trainee back in 2015. He's shared this story many times over the years (recent examples: Zach Sang Show interview, K-Star Next Door, I.M on the Beat interview, T-TIME : Grrrgak!) but for those who've never heard it, here's a summary of how it went down:

Hongjoong wanted to make music so he put a bunch of self-composed songs on a mixtape and sent it to several companies, including the big three. His reason for targeting KQ specifically was his love of Block B's music, which made him disregard the fact that KQ wasn't looking to sign anyone else. In fact, they were only a management agency at the time so they weren't even in a position to accept trainees.

Regardless, he sent the tape together with a letter, telling them they should reach out and contact him if they'd like to work with him. Whoever received that letter at KQ tossed it aside, unopened, and a year went by. The company then moved buildings and, while packing up, someone came across the tape and letter.

Intrigued, they listened to it (untrained rap and all) and heard the potential, which led the CEO to make a judgment call and give Hongjoong a chance. KQ called him to ask if he still wanted to do music. Of course, Hongjoong said yes and took the risk of signing with them.

Ateez's lives as trainees under KQ

While it was Hongjoong's music school principal who initially gave him the idea of not just being a songwriter but also an idol, it was KQ who further encouraged him.

However, as their first ever trainee, Hongjoong had a difficult time. First, with Eden initially trying to push him to quit music because KQ had put him in charge of training Hongjoong as a producer and Eden had zero interest and training to be a teacher. (Of course, those feelings didn't last too long and Hongjoong wormed his way into Eden's heart fairly quickly.)

But even without that, he struggled with being lonely because most other trainees who walked into the practice room, never stayed. Additionally, KQ was quite poor at the time, so Hongjoong only ate fried rice most of the time which he quickly grew tired of. Many of you may remember this story from Hongjoong's mother's letter shared in this video last year:

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In late June 2024, during a live, Hongjoong also shared he was diagnosed with two separate conditions during his trainee days, orthostatic hypotension (drop in blood pressure when standing up or sitting down which leads to fainting) and vasovagal syncope (fainting caused by triggers such as emotional distress, the sight of blood, etc.) which he's learned to manage since. However, this was something he forced himself to learn to deal alone since he didn't want to worry the company or others.

During these early days, KQ was broke and Ateez had a food budget (which they sometimes maxed out, leading Hongjoong to pretend he was dieting and push the others to use his budget for themselves) and weren't allowed to use their phones in the dorms, likely to discourage them from getting distracted and sleeping too little but, aside from Hongjoong, no one seems to have followed that rule. See, the famous clip of Hongjoong talking about being salty when he discovered Seonghwa's two hidden phones:

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However, KQ famously never enforced any sort of dating ban unlike most other companies which later gave us one of the funniest headlines of all time:

And they were also some of the first idols who proudly showed off their tattoos while many others were still banned from even getting them.

Ultimately, they already went viral predebut thanks to their outstanding dancing and Jongho's ability to split apples with his bare hands while singing.

Something I can't source but remember: Yunho, I believe, once shared the practice room used to be tiny and in terrible condition before they moved to a bigger building right before San joined the company.

It's also of note that Yeosang and Wooyoung left Hybe to sign with KQ and Jongho, who suffered significantly while being a trainee under TopMedia (alongside Kim Wooseok whom he's still friends with), has decided to rejoin the industry after taking a prolonged break from it all, presumably to recover and reevaluate his decision to be an idol. And boy, should we all be glad he chose to try again.

Investing in and defending Ateez

During their trainee days, KQ flew Ateez (plus their then maknae, who wasn't ready to debut in 2018 and presumably moved on to another company) out to LA where they received rigorous dance training so they could become the performance group we all know and love today. They documented the whole thing here:

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Something worth noting about this time is: they've been consistently providing English subtitles for all their content which was definitely a huge contributor in how much more popular they've always been overseas compared to domestically.

In an attempt to get Ateez more exposure, KQ took the financial risk of paying for Ateez's participation in Kingdom: Legendary War all the way back in 2021 which was, honestly, a hellish time for the fandom - even KQ acknowledged that in a lawsuit they filed against some false rumors being spread about Ateez around the time, stating:

However, we have decided that the current situation, in which false information is misunderstood as true, can damage not only our artists’ reputation which has been achieved through hard work but also our fans' mental health, who are our artists' biggest supporters.

Participation in the program was deeply exhausting for Ateez (who were without Mingi at the time - more on that in a bit), but did prove worthwhile when it garnered them a significant amount of new fans thanks to their positive attitude regarding the competition which had the vibe of "We're just here to make friends and put on a great show."

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Regarding this part of their history, it should be noted that, in the wake of Kingdom: Legendary War, additionally information came out, exposing severe mistreatment of Ateez at the hands of Mnet:

After constant disrespect, a Korean Atiny [...] made a lengthy post of all the times Mnet had treated the K-pop group poorly. The final straw might have been Ateez not getting a single nomination for any award on Mnet's award show, MAMA 2021, despite the channel calling them ‘performance kings’. On top of it, fans found it humiliating that Ateez, the only group that was not nominated, performed at the award show too. [...] Korean Atinys claimed that Mnet’s staff would scream at Ateez while filming their reality shows. They were not told about the venues where they would be performing like the outdoor festival event and their makeup room was the smallest during the ‘Kingdom’ shoot. While other participating groups were given sofas, Ateez members were given stiff office chairs.

However, this is not something to blame KQ for - Mnet is famously hated by all idols and is even known to mistreat Hybe artists, who are far more influential. They abuse the power they hold over all artists since everyone depends on them for promotions. One company alone, especially one on the small side, doesn't have the power to take them on. It'd take collective action on all companies' parts.

In the year that followed, 2022, KQ sued an infamous gossip YouTuber, who'd been spreading lies and rumors about idols for years, reaching all the way back to first gen idols. Even other fandoms cheered on KQ at the time for finally doing something against her.

Excerpt from the article:

The YouTuber has been criticized in the past for starting false rumors about idols. NMIXX‘s Sullyoon, BTS‘s Jungkook and RM, actress Han So Hee, And NCT‘s Jisung are just a few of the celebrities the YouTuber has targeted. According to reports, the person behind the Sojang YouTube account has been actively writing about rumors since K-Pop’s first generation. Before YouTube, the netizen had been active on online communities, Facebook, and Twitter. According to reports, it is believed that Sojang is a woman in her mid-to-late forties. This isn’t the first time the YouTuber has been sued. EXO member Xiumin has previously sued her, and BTS’s V had threatened to sue the YouTuber last December.

Again in 2022, they also took strong legal action when a tracking device was placed on one of Ateez's cars, stating "The defendant asked for leniency, but the company has not agreed to any leniency or settlement to prevent further damage and set a precedent for those who think of downplaying privacy violation offenses."

KQ has also proven themselves willing to back their artists' personal dreams financially, like when they paid for Hongjoong's non-profit photo exhibition which gathered money for charity and supported his wish to have a busking event, and got Seonghwa to meet his favorite ASMR YouTuber.

Recently (June 2024), Hongjoong also shared they're now getting paid extra incentives, as of last year (2023), as a thank you for all they've done for the company and the sum doesn't seem to be all that small.

Of course, there are also the most tangible and noticeable investments: creative marketing both locally and overseas, high quality music videos, regular vocal and performance training, booking music show and interview appearances and, notably, appearances on platforms outside the usual K-Pop sphere, i.e. React in 2019.

Ateez and the rest of KQ - family relationships?

We all know that famous clip of DJ Yunho calling KQ the best best company while Wooyoung's trying not to choke on his laughter:

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And we also know Ateez and their respective families all get along - all their parents seem to have become friends and adopted the rest of the Ateez members as their own kids. Especially Wooyoung seems to call everyone's parents "mom" and "dad" and San's dad is deeply invested in everyone's health and well being. Hongjoong has even involved his brother before to help him choreograph for his MAMA performance.

Outside their immediate family, they all also have a group chat as Ateez with their CEO where he refers to them as his kids and he also watches their lives sometimes, attends concerts, etc.. Someone made a compilation here back in 2022 but they still imitate and quote him to this day:

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And it's not just their CEO, they all seem to really love their managers and vice versa with this guy going viral for his adoration of Yeosang on multiple occasions and this clip between Wooyoung and his manager going viral more than once. You can find many compilations of the dynamics between Ateez and their staff but here's an example.

And here's an example of how Xikers and their staff treat each other (spoiler: it's adorable chaos).

We've also seen the hair and make up staff goof around with them and we also know how close they are with B.B.Trippin, the dance crew who create the majority of their choreos, who've been fostering an unbroken relationship with KQ since the early days due to their ties with Block B.

Today, they continue to tour with Ateez despite how sought after they are by other companies with JM, their leader, even stating in response to the question "What are your favorite groups to choreograph for?":

"Of course it’s ATEEZ! Right now I’m not making the choreography myself, I’m only working as the general director. But I’ve been with ATEEZ since the members were first together and we talk a lot, so we fit well and I like working with them."

And, of course, we know how close they all, but especially Hongjoong, are with Edenary and Maddox from not just Ateez's content, but also Maddox's:

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How KQ handles health issues

In the beginning, Ateez were severely discriminated against in the industry, as is true for all groups of small companies. As a result, they pushed themselves extra hard during what limited performance time they had in order to leave an impression and slowly grow their Korean fanbase. To quote Mingi: "When we just debuted, we were known for the madness."

During their first tour in 2019, Yeosang broke his finger during a performance and set it again by himself without ever leaving the stage or even slowing down.

Seonghwa, in an equally bonkers move during the same tour, cracked his ribs while coughing and still chose to perform. At the end of Hala Hala, when they all pretend to snap their necks and collapse, his rib kept him from being able to get back up, leaving Yunho and Yeosang to basically carry him off stage.

After those incidents, KQ became far more vigilant and ensured Ateez watches their health and safety more closely, with Seonghwa sitting out a performance in 2020 due to an injury. Their statement stating:

During a recent modern dance lesson, Seonghwa experienced pain near his hip joint. He went for an examination at a medical clinic specializing in that area, and he has been diagnosed with a mild sprain. While it is a minor injury, he has been advised by the medical team to avoid intense movement for about two weeks, in order to avoid the worsening or relapse of the injury. Therefore, Seonghwa will only be taking part in the Meet & Greet segment of ‘KCON:TACT 2020 Summer’ on June 26, and it would be difficult for him to take part in the performance.

In November of 2020, the same year, roughly two years after debut, Mingi developed some severe anxiety which led to him getting tested and diagnosed before he went on a (back then) indefinite hiatus to get rest and regain stability in his life.

During this time, he didn't participate in any public activities but stayed in close contact with all the members and even San's dad who checked in on him regularly since he's San's dad's favorite.

He returned in mid-2021 after about half a year of intermittent schedules to get back in the swing of things and under the clearance of his therapist. His mind was made up that he wanted to keep on doing this and he seemed happy to be back:

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Jongho, too, had a more severe injury in August 2023 and needed to get surgery to fix it. Thankfully he, too, recovered fully after a hiatus that lasted a couple of months which was followed by him sitting on a chair side-stage during performances for quite some time until his knee was fully healed.

More recently, we've also heard Seonghwa share that they used to struggle severely while touring, even requiring oxygen masks backstage to keep themselves going, which led the CEO to put together a team of pro athlete trainers to ensure Ateez can physically meet the demands of the industry without sacrificing their health any further.

Most recently, it was Wooyoung who needed to sit out for a bit when he developed cholinergic uriticaria. Thankfully, he's already back in the swing of things as well and has recently shared in an interview that his condition has been improving steadily since the first massive flare up after Coachella (though swelling in his face is still noticeable to them all when he exercises/dances for long periods of time).

Most Common Criticisms of KQ

1 - Ateez are overworked!

This is undeniably true for all successful idols. It's a brutal, brutal industry and unless all companies slow down, there is no way to take time off without being forgotten and losing out on future opportunities because a lot of fans are quick to move on whenever a group disappears for a bit. Many don't even stick around for more than one comeback to begin with.

Especially during the end of the year award period, all idols are deeply overworked which is why we saw Ateez get time off around early April. They also take breaks for holidays and Hongjoong has said before that they're adults and know what they're doing when a fan told him they're being overworked (I wish I could find the clip right now).

I also remember Seonghwa saying during an interview that KQ never makes decisions without talking them through with Ateez so they understand each other's reasoning and no decisions get made over their heads (once again, I wish I could find the damn clip but all I remember is Seonghwa had longer black hair and his outfit and the set were kept in black, white and gray tones).

2 - KQ is controlling!

If you've read the whole post, you'll already know Ateez have a lot of freedom compared to other idols, especially now. They get to do lives without supervision, pursue solo projects (including quality music videos for their covers and original songs), Yeosang was an MC for The Show for a long time where he got to show off solo, while Yunho and Hongjoong got to be Idol Radio DJs for a long time where they got to be mentors, show off as dancers and make new friends. On top of that, Yunho, Jongho, San and Seonghwa all four starred in a drama (with Yunho being a co-lead) criticizing the abuse and mistreatment idols face in the industry which Ateez reference to this day.

Hongjoong also gets to work with Xikers now, giving them guidance Ateez surely wished they'd had in their early days, and he even collaborated with Chungha on her first album in her new agency, while Wooyoung got to work on a dance passion project with Watcha which was close to his heart just last year.

On top of all of that, they get to goof around constantly while a lot of bigger names in the industry have much more scripted content. We've also heard Ateez be extremely honest with fans when it comes to their well-being, including when they're tired or struggling. They've even told stalker fans off on live with zero consequences from the company on multiple occasions.

Their freedom goes double when it comes to their music where we know all members get to participate in both the song and choreography from recording all the way to live performance. Just recently, Hongjoong openly fired shots at the former CEO of Hybe in a collab song with Odetari and, when prompted for a statement, KQ simply said they had "no comment".

3 - Wooyoung and Yeosang don't get enough lines!

From an outsider's perspective, this is true. However, we don't know what's going on behind the scenes outside of what they tell us. For example, Hongjoong shared just recently that all members sing the whole song and then lines get distributed based on who suits which parts best.

It's also worth mentioning that the distribution is balancing out more and more over time. A trend which will surely continue now that both Wooyoung and Yeosang have released more covers to flex their vocals and 'Will - The World' included sub-units so they could all show off and try out writing lyrics for themselves.

In Conclusion

I think, when it comes to Ateez, a lot of fans who raise concerns about KQ don't look at the bigger picture or lack some of the information needed to make a fair judgment. Though there is, of course, also absolutely valid criticism.

Please be aware I'm definitely not saying "Be a company stan, they deserve it!". The primary focus should always be on the artists themselves, not the people managing the funds in the background, but what I am saying is: "Trust Ateez."

There are so many idols out there who hate their companies, who are on the brink of collapse from exhaustion (P1harmony, NCT Dream, Enhypen, to name a few) and it's noticeable. They say it, they want fans to create a ruckus and demand better treatment, but Ateez isn't one of them.

All eight are very outspoken people and, from what we've seen and heard, so are their families. If KQ weren't full of decent people, Ateez wouldn't involve their siblings and parents in projects, they wouldn't so frequently bring up receiving gifts from their CEO, be so full of love and praise for their managers and staff, or willingly praise the company so regularly.

There have definitely been instances where trending hashtags were justified, such as when there was lacking airport security because KQ had underestimated how many people would show up to welcome them, but there's a lot of unjustified complaining going on as well which can be easily debunked.

I hope this roundup of base information will help some people get a clearer picture of what the company dynamic is like so everyone can come to their own conclusions.

Regarding recent rumors:

In the light of recent events, I'd like to say that I can't find proper evidence that Hybe Entertainment ever tried to buy up KQ, but it's clear that the relationship between the two companies is horrid, and very justifiably so on KQ's part.

After Hybe bought up Vlive, Ateez and Xikers moved to streaming on YouTube and KQ entirely separated ties with Weverse soon after by launching TOKTOQ in partnership with bemyfriends which Xikers also moved to.

This happened in the wake of Hybe buying up SM Entertainment and forcing SM artists to move over to Weverse.

In essence, it's very, very, extremely obvious that Hybe is trying to build up a monopoly. They already own a shit-ton of labels, including Pledis (Seventeen's label), Belift (Enhypen's label), and KOZ (Zico/BoyNextDoor's label), and now also one of their formerly biggest competitors, SM Entertainment.

Again, Hybe trying to buy KQ was never documented anywhere, it was just a rumor without a clear source, but I wouldn't be surprised if they did try at some point or another to get rid of yet another competitor.

#ateez #kq entertainment #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

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txttletale · 11 months ago

Note

True/false: you think that flags shouldn’t have writing on them

absolutely true. this is my most reactionary position, thje american vexillology association pamphlet is right about most things but especaily this one. a flag should aim to represent its polity through visual symbolism. if you have to start writing, you're no longer using visual symbolism! of course how bad this is varies. the absolute worst case is just putting the name of the thing in big block letters like the US state flags all do. that shit is pathetic, just acknowledging that you've comprehensively failed at creating something striking and recognizable that symbolizes your polity. on the other hand, more subtle lettering that could be removed without compromising the flag's core visual identity--like iran's takbir or brazil's ordem e progresso--is much better and doesn't have too big an impact on how i evaluate a flag

#ask #queerdo-mcjewface

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aebinspa · 4 months ago

Text

there's a great big beautiful tomorrow!

PAIRING: ningning x y/n reader

GENRES: fluff, dancer!ningning, salesgirl!reader, reader is shy and insecure, ningning loves physical touch, hao (zb1) appears for a little while but he is still iconic!

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! so i’m practicing my writing hoping it can get better and better (tired)

The life you had lived up to now had been revealed as what was in the eyes of all: a deadly boredom. If you could color it to make it take life you would have accepted it without thinking. Yet everything you had done was boring, uncluttered, and calculated, so much so that watching others achieve goals that were not your own with a smile made you happier than anything else. You missed the spark, or perhaps it was the longing for life that made you miss it entirely?

In front of the shop where you worked as a clerk and put some lip balm on your lips while trying to hold keys, the university book, and the clutch in your hands, you were about to lock the door with a frown. "Why won't you close?" You needed another kick worthy of the name to close the huge iron front door of the biggest clothing store in the city center where you lived. After skillfully putting your hair up into a ponytail with a swift movement of your fingers, you proceeded to walk in your customary manner. However, your usual path was interrupted by a door adorned with a radiant sign that had previously escaped your notice.

Curiosity was too much and you decided to stop and read the poster hanging on the right of the small door adorned with a very stupid sign with "Enter!". The poster, likely created by a graphic designer with no formal training, featured a photo of a beautiful girl with black hair in a short dress and a boy in a tuxedo at the center; below it was written in big letters "Join us!" and high, almost wanting to hide in embarrassment, an inscription appeared that seemed to whisper timidly "Dance is life. Discover your passion". "What a stupid thing" was the only thing that came into your mind. For someone like you who had never found anything exciting in life, encountering such enthusiastic people made you feel nauseous. As you made your way back home, the captivating image of the beautiful female dancer lingered in your mind, refusing to fade.

The following day, deliberately ignoring the sign that grabbed your attention from a block away, you confidently approached to analyze the poster featuring the two dancers carefully. You were totally into figuring out if those two young, good-looking athletes were a couple or just buddies, and you didn't even realize that someone behind you was watching you with an amused look.

"Well, I look good in this picture, don’t I?" The blow that took you stole ten years of your life. The girl who you had been watching for two days in that poorly studied mess of graphic design had just appeared before you. You couldn’t answer; you were so surprised. Hi, I’m Ningning. It seems like you can't help but admire how beautiful my Hao and I look in this picture! "You’re not bad…" which, coming from an insecure person like yourself, sounded more like a joke. The loud laughter that rang in the driveway made you comfortable, until Ningning - as friends called her - decided to take your hand and force you to come in the place downstairs.

"I don’t- I have no idea how you can dance on those things that you wear to your feet!" "Don’t worry. Find your number and I’ll help you." After Ningning had pulled you down the stairs, you finally got to see that underneath all the LED lights was a small but cozy ballroom. Hao and I come here to practice when there are no lessons. The teachers care so much about us that they even put us on the course poster! Another laugh came out of the young woman’s mouth. Her enchanting presence was impossible to ignore. The way her long, flowing black hair framed her round face and delicate features captivated everyone who caught a glimpse of her. Not only was she beautiful, but she also possessed long, toned legs that added to her allure.

"Those things in your legs could kill me all at once." "Are you admitting that you imagined my legs around your neck?" "Nobody mentioned the neck." The embarrassment forced you to turn your eyes to the ground and concentrate on choosing the right size of heels.

"You didn’t tell me your name" Ningning turned to you and chained her eyes to yours. "Y/N. Friends use this. I have no nicknames of any kind. Quite boring, I know" The increasing unease of being alone in a room with the woman you had secretly observed in photos was becoming more palpable. You began to fiddle with your hands. It was Ningning who stopped you, taking both of your hands in her.

"So what about the Grinch?" "What do you mean?" "You’re always sulking and pretty." "The Grinch is not cute." Ningning who until now had her hands in your hands decided to leave them abruptly. "Oh yes, it is Y/N. I don’t want to fight, but if that’s what you think then turn around and don’t look at me anymore." It seemed absurd to you to have to discuss in a ballroom how ugly (or beautiful, depending on the point of view) the Grinch was; you unconsciously laughed. Ningning seemed to look at you with different eyes for a few seconds before gently touching your hands. "Then you can smile!"

You and Ningning spent the next few hours trying to master the first steps of the slow waltz but without any success. It was dark outside, and after a couple of hours, you were alarmed to see that it was almost eleven thirty in the evening. But you didn’t want to leave that place. You didn’t want to leave Ningning, not even those high heels that made your feet swell.

A thought began to haunt you: for the first time you wanted to do something but couldn’t; your work would not be enough to cover the expenses of the house, your interests, and dance lessons. And then Ningning… not only was she beautiful, but before you, she didn’t give up after you couldn’t say the first words to her.

Ningning noticed your lost expression and approached you. She sat down nearby and, based on the few hours you had spent together, it was clear that Ningning couldn't stand silence. Without many compliments or flowery words, she immediately broke the silence. "I don-” For the first time, Ningning seemed reluctant and this prompted you to show yourself for once in front of his eyes as a woman capable of taking matters into her own hands. "Tell me" As you gazed into Ningning's eyes, you noticed a subtle shift as her gaze briefly flickered down to your lips before she began to speak. However, her words were abruptly cut off by the sound of a door swinging open with ease.

"I'm back and I can't take it anymore! Ningning, today we won't train. Try the steps of the waltz alone. I hate this life. Why did I give it to dance?" You and Ningning simultaneously turned to the man who had just descended the stairs.

"Hao," Ningning exclaimed, trying to convey the message, "We have guests, calm down." Confused, Hao asked, "Who is this?" Just as you were about to respond, you were cut off and shouted, "Y/N. I was just leaving!" You quickly removed your high heels and placed them gently in the designated space. "I’m going and… Thank you for everything."

As you walked slowly along the main street of the city, you didn't feel like running, so you took your time. The bright lights of the city made your eyes burn, or maybe it was the bitter tears that were streaming down your face. "Why do I have to be such a coward?" you thought to yourself. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and the tears were falling without stopping. You tightly clutched the keys in your right hand, feeling their jagged edges pressing into your palm.

"Y/N, my God, wait! Walk a little slower!" Ningning collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Maybe it was a hallucination or maybe the stupidity had given you to the head but Ningning was running towards you and nothing could have shown you anything else.

You started running towards her. Only when you could reach her, you took her hand to help her get up. "And you," you mumbled, "would be… an athlete?" "A ballroom dancer, precisely"

Taking a deep breath, Ningning looked directly into your eyes and smiled before speaking to break the silence, just as you had expected. "Let’s just say I didn’t dare to say it before so I’m telling you now." "I have something to tell you too" you replied without showing off. "Alright, let's say it together on the count of three!" Ningning replied with lots of enthusiasm. "What a stupid idea" You laugh.

Ningning counted to three, very slowly, never taking her eyes off you. Her eyes seemed to shine even more under the brightly lit room. You saw her smile before yelling "Three!" and saying what she wanted to tell you.

"I want to see you again," she said. "Ningning, let's meet again." The silence that followed made you both laugh. "So we were thinking the same thing? How stupid," she said with that cheeky smile that didn’t seem to leave her face.

"Then I won't feel sorry for you." "Wait, what?" "I'm telling you that starting tomorrow, I'm going to try to make you fall in love with me." The slight blush on your cheeks gave Ningning hope. The kiss she planted on your cheek right after made you turn as red as a tomato.

As you said goodbye to Ningning and made preparations to alter your routine and return home, the words "So tomorrow, princess, get ready!" echoed in your mind. For the first time, you found yourself contemplating the notion that living might not be as unbearable as you had previously believed.

#aespa #aespa ningning #aespa ning yizhuo #ningning x reader #aespa fic #headcanon #kpop #aespa x reader #wlw #ning yizhuo x reader

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cameronspecial · 1 year ago

Text

Missed Connections

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: When Y/N plans to take her first solo trip, Rafe has to make sure she can defend herself.

Masterlist

He bounces on the balls of his feet, waiting for her in the arrivals section. It has been around four months since he last saw her. With her absence, Rafe has come to a realization. The only person he wants to be around is her. Sure, it is because she is his best friend, but it is also because he is full-on in love with her. She is the only one that he would let call him out on his bullshit. He only trusts her with his deepest-darkest secrets. And when she isn’t around, he feels like all the air in his lungs goes with her. He knows she loves him too. He noticed her longing gaze and the warmth that would bloom across her skin whenever he touched it. She makes him small gifts that always seem to put a smile on his face. The big board shows that she arrived about half an hour ago, so he hopes she will be out soon.

Finally, he sees a familiar mop of Y/H/C over the crowd. He pushes his way toward her with a massive grin. Once her eyes lock with his, she jogs over to throw her arms around his neck. Her backpack adds to the momentum of her jump. His arms tighten around her, bringing her as close as possible. Her hair smells a little different; she must be using a new shampoo. They pull away with him giving her a kiss on the cheek. He goes to grab her bag to bring her to the car, but the area around her is empty.

“Hey, where is your bag?” he asks, trying to see if she left it from where she ran from. Right as she is about to answer, a man comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, bringing her to his side. Rafe steps forward to pry the man off of his best friend, “What are you doing, Dude? Don’t touch her.” Y/N’s hand lands on his chest to push him away a little bit. “It’s okay, Rafe. This is Gabriel, my boyfriend. He is going to be staying with me for the semester. I hope it’s okay that I didn’t tell you when I asked you for a ride,” she explains. Rafe didn’t know that a five-word sentence could cause him so much pain, especially since his name wasn’t the one without it. Her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend. Of course, she does. How could a girl as amazing as Y/N go to the city of love for university and not come back with a boyfriend? An ache in his chest starts to form, making him believe that he is about to have a heart attack. He was too late. He didn’t tell her he loved her before she left, so now she went and found it with someone else. He shakes his thoughts away to respond to her concerns. “It’s okay. I have plenty of room in my car for both of you. The more the merrier.”

After a more formal introduction, the three of them head to the car. While the boys put the bags in the back, Y/N notices something on the passenger’s seat of the truck. “Aww, Rafe. You got me flowers,” she gushes, going to open the car door to take it. Rafe quickly stops what he is doing and rushes to her side, “Uhh, yeah. Let me give them to you though.” He uses his back to block his action as he opens the door. He grabs the little card buried in the flower and shoves it into his pocket without her notice. He hands her the flowers with a smile.

“Daisies, my favourite. Thank you, Rafe.”

“No problem.”

Once the bags are packed into the car, he gets into the front seat. Confusion flashes over him when Y/N gets into the back, but it goes away after Gabriel scoots in beside her on the other side. Rafe’s eyes turn to the road as he starts the car and heads to the highway. He chances a glance at the two in the back through the rear-view mirror and instantly regrets it. They’ve been so quiet because they are busy whispering to each other with giggles. The stabbing feeling returns to Rafe’s heart, so he focuses his attention back on the road. The confessional letter in his pocket burns him and he can’t help but feel like he missed a connecting flight. A flight to Y/N’s love.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @victory-in-the-llama

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the-californicationist · 1 year ago

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Guile & Guilt (Ch. 08)

Soap/Reader — MDNI 18+

Sorry for the wait as usual. Hope y’all can forgive me!

/:/:/:/:/:/:/

FEBRUARY — FRIDAY: 7 days until the wedding

In the month or so after Christmas, your relationship with Johnny had progressed considerably. He was on a particularly challenging tour, but you only heard about his work in sparse mentions. Most of his conversations were centered around your relationship “after we tell Pidge”.

It was all he wanted to talk about.

“After we tell Pidge, we can look for a place together in Glasgow. What do you say, lass?”

“After we tell Pidge, we can take trips with them. Always wanted to see Iceland.”

“After we tell Pidge…”

And on and on and on. It wasn’t that you weren’t excited to be with him. You adored him, and he seemed to feel the same way about you. But, telling Pidge was scaring you out of your damn mind. In the worst case scenario, you’d be losing your best friend and the man that you…

Careful, that dark voice was back in your head , don’t want to say the word, huh?

The man that you… liked a considerable amount. Not love. Love was a commitment. You were not in love.

The dark voice cackled. You ignored it.

You were going to see him this weekend for the combination stag and hen party, and you could think of little else. But, you had plenty to work on. As the maid of honor, this was your time to shine. You needed to prepare for more than just seeing Johnny. In fact, you were about to have six girls at your tiny apartment for a slumber party tomorrow night. The whole 600 square feet of your place was decorated in gold glitter and streamers. There were big B-R-I-D-E letters above your bed, and a giant inflatable diamond ring was propped up on your futon. You’d already sprayed Marlowe twice with the water bottle for threatening it with her claws.

Tonight, though, you were alone. You had asked Johnny if he would fly in early, but he hadn’t been able to confirm. So, you were sitting on your bed, staring at your phone, dressed only in his shirt, praying for some miracle.

You stayed up as late as you could, but still no call.

SATURDAY — Early morning: 6 days until the wedding

Your phone buzzed where it lay against your chest. You slowly awoke, and it was still dark outside. Bleary and only semi-conscious, you picked it up without looking at the screen,

“Hello?” You croaked.

“Mo mèirleach,” he whispered, “Open the door, hen. It’s fuckin’ frigid.”

“What?” You didn’t understand. Johnny was outside? You looked at the clock. It was 0311.

“I’m downstairs! Buzz me up.”

You did, and then you waited, waking up more and more as you stood in the kitchen, drinking some water to clear your dry throat.

He knocked softly, and you let him in. Immediately, and without so much as dropping his rucksack, he pulled you into his arms. You smelled his sweat, a strong hint of fire or smoke, and something you couldn’t quite place. It was almost like gasoline, but not quite. He’d come straight from the field.

“Hey,” he pressed his forehead to yours and kissed you gently, smelling your skin and nuzzling into your hair.

“Hey,” you smiled up at him, hugging him a little tighter.

Having him back was making you feel like no time had passed at all. He held you just as he did when he told you goodbye in December, and now, all of January felt like some wasted dream.

You looked behind him,

“Where are the others? I thought you said they’d be coming to the party this weekend.”

“Put them up at a wee hotel. The Indigo, just a few blocks away. But, I’ve been sleepin’ on the fuckin’ floor too many nights, now. And I wanna be in my woman’s arms instead.”

His woman. Your heart clenched in your chest. He noticed your emotional response to his words; always the observant one. His smile felt so good, even though he had caught you in his snare,

“Aye. You’re my woman, aren’t you?”

Huge, rough hands warmed your skin as they snaked underneath your shirt, reaching up across your belly, finding your hanging breasts and squeezing them ever so gently.

“Shower with me, lass. I’m right filthy.”

“Alright,” you nodded, and he pulled your shirt off the rest of the way, discovering the nothing you were wearing underneath.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Johnny lamented, holding you at arm’s length to study your skin and curves with a deep admiration, “Look at you, mèirleach. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m dreamin’.”

You led him to the bathroom, which you doubted was big enough for the both of you, and he stripped off all of his dirty clothes. You helped him, peeling him apart, layer by layer, discovering him in pieces.

His broad chest filled your vision in the tiny washroom, and you latched onto his nipple, tasting the salt from his sweat as you did and listening to him moan. He laughed from the sudden sensation of it,

“It’s sensitive, lass. Easy…”

Your eyes found his, showing him that you knew what it felt like, and you did not relent. You enjoyed watching him squirm beneath you, his hands resting on the side of your neck, threatening to pull you away when he became overwhelmed.

You gave him a break, kissing across his tattooed ribs and over his belly. He lifted your face up to his, pressing you against the bathroom counter, growling in whispers at you,

“Careful, thief. Don’t go givin’ me ideas.”

“What kind of ideas, Johnny?” You teased, dragging his boxers down over his plump ass to squeeze his cheeks in your hands.

“Ideas about what I’d like to put in that fuckin’ mouth of yours.”

He grabbed your hand and shoved it onto his hard cock, still covered by his boxer briefs, the fabric askew and taut, ready to come off.

“See what you fuckin’ do to me, thief?”

You smiled, staring down at the evidence of what you had done to him. You took his hand and slowly moved it between your legs, letting him curl and experimental finger up just far enough to dip into your wetness.

“See what you do to me?”

He shuddered, his body falling forward, and he caught himself with his free hand on the countertop, pinning you beneath him. He was playing inside of you with his fingertip, as achingly slowly and gently as could be, barely moving it, basking in your warmth. His face contorted into a twisted grimace, and he grunted,

“Fuckin’ hell, mèirleach. Get in the damn shower, or I’ll have you right here, lass.”

The shower curtain rings hissed across their metal rod as he followed you inside. You washed your hair, and you used your soapy hands to wash his. The soap turned brown with dirt and sand, and you made a face, laughing,

“Johnny! You are filthy.”

“Yeah, we ran into some trouble at the end of our mission. Lost contact with base. Had to camp in the wee mountains for a few nights, tryin’ not to freeze to death.”

“Holy shit…”

You pitied him, using your vanilla scented soap to scrub down his body for him, letting him be treated to your sudsy massage.

“Knowin’ I was comin’ back to you kept me goin’. I dreamt about this wee shower, hen. Even Ghost was surprised that I was able to keep my whingin’ to a minimum. But, I knew you were here and I wasnae gonna let anythin’ stop me from comin’ home to you.”

He bent to kiss you, and you kissed him back, letting the water wash over you both, bathing you in the heat of each other. He pulled away, grinning like he’d won something, and you felt the blush rise into your cheeks.

You made the hand signal for him to turn around and he spun, giving you his wide back, planting both of his hands on the wall like you were going to search him.

You started at his neck, washing away days of dirt and grime, feeling his swollen muscles pull and push against his bones. He had a new tattoo on his spine. It was a little Gaelic word that you couldn’t read.

With your fingertip, you traced over the black ink, softly rubbing over the raised skin, healed but fresh. He stilled, realizing you’d noticed it.

“Gealladh. It means ‘promise’.”

You wiped it clear of soap and lay your lips to it, kissing it softly, making him tremble beneath you. You tried to pronounce it, whispering it against his skin.

The rest of the shower went quickly, and by the time you were clean, he was ready to get dirty again, fondling you and rubbing across his curved length hungrily.

He wrapped you in your towel and watched you braid your hair, kissing your neck and sharing your toothbrush. You tried not to be grossed out by it, but you made a face and he rolled his eyes, spitting out the paste into your sink and trying to kiss you with his messy lips. You giggled, leaving him in the bathroom to finish up.

The cool air in your apartment made you clamber to get under the covers, eager to warm up and anxious for him to join you. He sauntered out of the bathroom looking like some Greek god, wet and tanned, tattooed and scarred, fresh from the bonds of war.

He threw his towel down with yours and climbed into bed next to you, curling you up in his arms, sighing with the most delighted contentment. His big jaw pressed into the side of your neck, looking for purchase, and he began to suck and lick at your skin, traveling down your shoulder to your nape, sending shivers down your arms.

“Did you miss me, mo mèirleach?” His voice was so quiet, you could barely hear him.

“I did, mo chridhe,” you whispered back, turning your body to face him.

He took both of your hands in both of his and kissed your forehead. All of his sexual overtones and lurid advances in the shower had somehow been washed away, and as the orange blush of dawn came through your window, he looked changed. His hair was soft, the mohawk all grown out and curling at the tips, his eyes glassy and full of something that looked suspiciously like hope.

“I know this has been hard on you, lass. I’ve been more than just a wee bit selfish, and I want you to know I’ll make it right. I promise you that. Do you hear me?”

You nodded, pressing your cheek to his chest, inching closer to him. He wrapped you in a tight hug, holding you too close.

Did you believe him? Would everything work out for the best? Or were you continuing down a path that would lead to ruin? How easy it was for him to convince you of the opposite. He could lead you like a lamb to the slaughter, and you’d go willingly, bleating up at him with all your love and affection as he pushed you into the chute.

His arm became heavy, and you heard his breaths lengthen in his chest, and you knew he was asleep. You had an alarm set, so you curled up in his warmth, letting him doze, allowing yourself to sink into the murky blackness of sleep along with him.

SATURDAY — Lunchtime: 6 days until the wedding

Johnny had changed into something clean and left you in bed, kissing your face and promising all sorts of filthy things to you after the bar crawl tonight. He begged you to dance with him when you wound up at the club, washing away your worries about Pidge, claiming she’d be too drunk to notice. You rushed him out, warning him she’d be here for lunch, and washed your sheets.

Sure enough, your phone rang and Pidge was outside your apartment, screaming with six other girls to be buzzed up not an hour after Johnny left, and you breathed a sigh of relief they’d missed each other coming and going.

You had the whole day planned out. Lunch was at a little cafe near the river, perfect for a photo op or two. Then, you’d booked a nail salon for mani-pedis for the whole squad. After that, it was back to the apartment to put on your faces before going “out-out”.

For the most part, the day had been a wild success. Pidge was already a little tipsy from the non-stop mimosas, and even though your bank account had seen better days, it wasn’t that bad. Now, you were in the middle of the evening ferality. Someone had ordered a pizza and there was hairspray in places you didn’t think hairspray could go. Marlowe was hiding in her cubby under your bed, and you were already done getting ready.

You’d told everyone it was black and white themed. Ham and Pidge would be in white, with all of you in black, and the goal at the end of the night was for them to find each other by hopping from bar to bar. The stag would chase the hen through downtown Glasgow, and you’d planned to have them all end up at The Berkeley Suite.

There were girls everywhere. It was like a bomb had gone off in your apartment, and there wasn’t really a space for privacy except for the bathroom (as long as you shooed everyone out of it first).

“I’ll just be a second!” You shouted over the thumping music, closing the door behind them.

You took care of business and spent a brief minute checking your phone. You had two texts from Johnny, and when you opened them, your breath caught in your throat.

Mo Chridhe: open this when youre alone thief

Mo Chridhe: blacksuit.jpg

Johnny had sent you a mirror selfie of his outfit, and he looked stunning. You couldn’t believe it was him. You’d never seen him so dressed up. His hair was shaven on the sides, the mohawk back to its full potential, and his suit was a gorgeous black with velvet lapels and a gold chain between the button holes. He wore no tie, instead letting the first two buttons hang open rakishly, showing off his tanned chest.

You texted him back:

You: you are still so damn hot lol

Mo Chridhe: show me you

You obeyed, taking a racy selfie in the bathroom mirror just like he had done. You showed off your cleavage , and the short, high cut of the dress as it hugged your ass. You tried your best to be pouty, just like all the Instagram models, but you weren’t sure if you succeeded.

Mo Chridhe: i might be the luckiest cunt alive or im dreamin

You: lol ;)

Mo Chridhe: ham might be chasin pidge all night but ill be chasin you

You smiled down at your phone before closing the app and returning to the fray.

Glittered, glammed, and ready for a night of debauchery, you took your phone off its charger and made your way out into the cold evening air. Pidge had brought a jacket, but Cherise had decided to go without, claiming that hot girls didn’t get cold. You were definitely cold, so you wondered what that implied.

The first stop was The Variety Bar. You had texted Johnny and told him to warn you before their first bar choice so that you could pay the tab and bolt before Hamish could put his hands on Pidge. But, it didn’t really work out like that. You had all ended up as one big group, and spent most of the time jokingly keeping them from kissing each other. Price held up a wet coaster between their mouths which sent Pidge coughing and spitting, causing enough of a ruckus that you decided to move to the next spot.

Johnny sat with you at the bar while you paid, trying his best to keep his hands off of you.

“Lookin’ like a right goddess tonight, you are.”

“Stop it,” you smiled, “No flirting allowed while your sister is literally right behind us.”

“Och,” he shook his head, “She’s in her own wee world. Where to next, lass?”

You slid the check back to the bartender and thanked him, turning to Johnny and smirking triumphantly, knowing he still needed to pay before he could follow you,

“Don’t you hunt people for a living? Come and get me.”

You left him at the bar, frozen with a delightful look of surprise on his face. You found Pidge and the other girls outside.

“Alright,” you smiled, “Onward. Let’s head over to Max’s.”

“Oh, God,” Anjali sighed, “You really want her to blackout, huh?”

“Fuck it! Max’s it is, ladies!” Pidge screamed.

Everyone cheered and marched on after her. She cuddled into your arm as you walked,

“Thank you so much for this, babes. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for, you know that?”

“You are, too,” you kissed her on her temple and squeezed her arm a bit tighter.

By the time you’d had two drinks at Max’s, Hamish’s clan found you again. Gaz was the one who spotted you through the window, holding his hands up to the glass and pointing you out.

“Uh oh,” you smiled, “Last call, girls.”

Cherise laughed,

“I don’t know why we’re running. Might as well just party with them.”

“It’s tradition, right?” Bekah rolled her eyes.

“Well,” Pidge shrugged, “You all can wait here then, if you prefer the boys to me.”

“No! Pidge, that’s not it, babe,” Cherise protested.

Pidge drunkenly waved her off,

“It’s fine, no worries. See you at Berkeley’s. How about that?”

Pidge stormed off out the door, and you followed behind trying to get her to calm down. She eventually did, drinking the water you had bought for her. But, that was how the group got split. Half the boys ended up with you and Pidge and Anjali, and the other half waited at Max’s until the happy hour rounds were over.

You’d gotten all settled in at Berkeley, listening to the loud club music, letting the high of your buzz wash over you, trying not to think about how nice it would be to have Johnny here, dancing with you like he promised.

Then, Pidge realized she forgot her jacket, so she sent you back to the other bar. You left her with Gaz and Ghost, and Price wandered out into the street with you.

“‘Bout time Hamish finally caught his hen anyway,” you speculated as you walked with him.

“Aye,” he agreed, “And maybe your stag as well.”

Your eyes darted up to him and then checked over your shoulder, just to make sure Pidge wasn’t behind you.

Price continued,

“Are you sure keepin’ him a secret is the right thing? He’s dyin’ to tell her. Fuck, he was tellin’ people he didn’t even know about you.”

You smiled,

“Yeah, I know. I just want the wedding to be about her. Nothing is ever about her, you know? She deserves to have a day where she doesn’t need to consider other people’s feelings for once.”

“What about your feelings?” Price asked.

You didn’t answer him. You just shrugged and kept walking. Suddenly, you heard screaming behind you,

“Wait! Wait up!”

Pidge and the rest of the crew rushed over to you and Price.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“We’re gonna surprise Hamish this time,” Pidge smiled, pulling out a big confetti popper from her purse.

“Oh, God,” you grinned, looping your arm through hers and dragging her along.

Nothing was going according to plan that night, but you were so tired that it was hard for you to care. You weren’t even sure if Hamish’s group was still at the other bar, and you hadn’t heard a thing from Bekah or Cherise.

Finally, you made it back to Max’s. Just as you were about to open the door, it burst open and out poured Johnny, tangled in Bekah’s arms. She was giggling and kissing his cheek, leaving streaks of purple lipstick all over his freshly shaven skin. He was holding her close to him, his fingers digging into her side so tightly.

You knew what that felt like.

You gasped, stepping back, stunned. He looked right into your eyes and stopped. The whole world came to a grinding halt. All of the time that you had spent together seemed to lay out in front of you, prostrating itself, and being found unworthy. You felt nothing. Just a creeping numbness that leaked into your core, a fire burning without kindling, unable to be extinguished.

“Och, Jesus and all the fuckin’ saints,” Pidge threw her hands up, “Couldnae even wait until after the party to get your hands into one of my mates, could you? Arsehole. Get outta the way.”

“No, tha’s not it, Pidge!” He frowned, “Bekah doesnae —”

“Bekah, what?” Pidge spat in his face, “Bekah doesnae care that you’ll turn up next month or next year or next week in a box with the wee Scottish flag draped over it? Okay. Now, move yourself from the door, Jonathan.”

Bekah was sort of octopusing herself around him, wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders, sucking on his earlobe, caring very little about the Scottish flag no matter where it was draped.

Johnny was trying to fight her off now, suddenly angry at Pidge,

“What did you just say to me, Brigette?”

“Oh, shut up! You’re just like your da, and you’ll end up dead like him, too. See?” Pidge turned to you suddenly, eyes wild with fury, “This is why I warned you, Johnny MacTavish is a fuckin’ widowmaker. And that’s all he’ll ever be.”

She finally made it around her brother and wrenched the door open, disappearing into the club. Johnny still had Bekah in his arms, and you couldn’t be there anymore. You turned and walked in the direction of your apartment, miles away but hell-bent on getting back there.

“Hey! Wait! Thief, please. This isn’t what it looks like,” his voice was cold and distant. You didn’t turn around to listen. You weren’t sure what it looked like, but you didn’t need to see it to know how it felt.

Johnny could have Bekah. He was allowed to have her. He was not allowed to have you, and you couldn’t have him. That much was clear now. You should’ve listened to your friend. You’d known all along, hadn’t you?

“Wait, mèirleach!”

You spun on him like a snake, striking out sure and true,

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

He could see in your eyes that you were serious, venomous as you were in your delivery. His eyes looked desperate, like a kicked dog, but he didn’t let her go. She smiled and waved at you, looking drunker than you’d ever seen anyone look. You tasted the bile in your mouth from your disgust.

Price jogged to keep up with you, and he grabbed your arm,

“Wait, girl. Just wait a second.”

You jerked your hand away and hailed a cab that was pulled over on your side of the street. You climbed in and shut the door, begging the cabbie to drive quickly, and he did. You stared out the window, watching all of the lights blind you as they seared into your eyes, burning the images you’d seen that night brightly into your memory.

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Chapter 09

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