#within the hour that it got released in beta

[ordi3nary]

Sky: COTL beta spoilers below the cut

i think i blacked out the second the new season got released yesterday and this suddenly appeared on my screen

[navybrat817]

Indulgence

Pairing: Dom!Bucky Barnes x Sub!Female Reader Summary: When Bucky calls, you go to him. Word Count: Over 5.7k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, unprotected vaginal sex, D/s elements, bondage, aftercare, established arrangement, insecurities, pet names, longing, possessive behavior, world building, mix of canon and non-canon, slight feels (it's me, okay?), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm very excited for this new AU, lovelies! There's a deep bond between these two, but we know the road to love isn't always easy. ❤️Beta read by the amazing @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. And thanks to @targaryenvampireslayer for listening to me ramble about this part. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You had only been asleep for an hour when your phone went off, your eyes barely open as you reached for the device and saw the familiar name appear. “Bucky?” You answered drowsily.

“Hey, angel,” he said roughly, the pet name bringing a sleepy smile to your face. It sounded like he hadn't gotten much sleep either. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay. I have tomorrow off,” you said, a bit more alert as you sat up. “Are you at your apartment?”

“Yeah, I got back a bit ago,” he replied, swearing under his breath. “It’s really late. I just…”

“Need me,” you finished for him, stretching your back as you stood up. If he wanted to tell you he made it home safely from his latest assignment, he would've sent you a text. You knew by now that a call meant he had to see you in person. “Give me a few minutes?”

“You sure? I understand if you’d rather go back to bed.”

“I’m not going to get any sleep until I know you will, too,” you said. It would drive you crazy. “I want to come over. Okay?”

You wondered if the call dropped since you didn't hear anything on the other end. “Okay. I’ll send a car,” he said. He never let you pay for a ride yourself. “Thank you,” he added so softly you almost missed it.

“You don't need to thank me,” you assured him, though you appreciated hearing it. “I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he promised, your heart skipping a beat before he hung up.

You brushed your teeth again before you changed out of your pajamas. The outfit didn't exactly matter. If it had, he would’ve told you what you wear. It wouldn't stay on long anyway. You sensed that this was a night for him to simply blow off some steam or release anything still pent up from his assignment.

You were more than happy to help.

“On my way.” You messaged him a few minutes later as you went out to the car.

You politely greeted the driver before gazing out the window. If anyone had told you months ago that you’d be sleeping with the former Winter Soldier, you would’ve laughed at them for saying something so crazy. You never expected to meet the man, let alone connect with him. That was your life now though. You were sleeping with Bucky Barnes.

But it wasn't that cut and dry.

“I’ll be outside.” He sent back.

You smiled to yourself as you thought about Bucky, the man searching for himself again. After years of enduring horrific pain and having no control over his actions, he felt lost once he was free. In his eyes, he would never be able to right all the wrongs of the atrocities he was forced to commit, but making amends for his past was a start. It wasn't enough though to heal the cracks from within. It couldn't stop him from plunging into the deep abyss of his mind where it once felt whole.

He had to find a way to feel semi-normal again. He needed to do something good for someone else outside of his heroic duties. And he had to do so in an environment where he could express himself openly, honestly, and authentically with a person he could trust.

That was where you came into the picture.

If Bucky called, no matter what time of day and you were available, you went to his place in a car he paid for. You stayed until you were both satisfied. A more crude way to think of it was that you helped him fuck out his frustrations and gave him a means to inflict pleasure on someone instead of hurt. It was a routine you were used to by now.

“You wanna be my angel?”

You may be his angel, but you weren't his girlfriend. He wasn't in a place to have a typical relationship. You weren't just a fuck buddy either. You were his submissive of sorts, along with his confidant and a way for him to find release and some sense of normalcy.

While he sometimes fucked you like a whore, he never once treated you like one. He cared for your well-being and checked in on you the way a boyfriend would. He kept his place stocked with your favorite snacks. You didn't sleep with anyone else and neither did he. You looked out for each other.

Unlike your last boyfriend.

As far as arrangements went, you could do much worse. There were rules set in place. Bucky was honest about his needs and helped you heal your wounds from the failure of your previous relationship. But the more time you spent with him, the more you wanted to be with him.

Was it a recipe for disaster?

The drive seemed faster than usual because before you knew it the car stopped in front of Bucky’s apartment building. Your pulse quickened when you saw the brunette standing by the door, donned in his usual leather jacket. Even from a short distance, he looked massive and heat bloomed in your core as you knew what was to come. He moved to the curb with more grace than a man his size should have, his hard blue eyes set on you through the glass before he opened the door.

His gaze practically set your heart on fire and it went full ablaze when he tenderly smiled. He was stunningly beautiful even in the dark of night. It almost hurt to look back at him.

You had it bad.

“Hey,” he said, offering you his gloved hand to help you out. You hardly ever saw him out without his vibranium hand covered. “It’s good to see you.”

“Hey,” you smiled softly, giving the driver a quick thanks before you got out. “You, too.”

Bucky's large hand moved to the small of your back as he gently led you toward the building and opened the door. He didn't like to linger outside for too long. Neither of you spoke as he guided you to his apartment on the first floor and you didn't push him to make small talk. It was a delicate arrangement and some nights didn't call for filler.

Still, you tried to get a read on his emotions. There was a stiffness to his stance, but he didn't appear upset or angry. You also didn’t spot any obvious injuries.

“Were you hurt?” You asked as he took his keys out. He was only gone for a couple of days, but you knew how dangerous the missions were.

He turned and stared at you, not at all surprised by your question since you always asked. “No, I didn’t get hurt,” he assured you, reaching up to scratch at the stubble on his chin. “But I can't exactly talk about it either. I’m sorry.”

You nodded in understanding. It was information you weren't privy to and you doubted he called tonight to talk about it anyway. He peeled back layers of himself, yet there was so much underneath that you didn't know about. You cared for him regardless.

“Bucky, you don't have to apologize for that,” you reminded him.

“I just feel bad. You can tell me about your work, but I can't always talk about mine,” he said, looking both ways before he poked his head into his apartment.

“My job isn’t as ‘exciting’ as yours,” you teased before he let you in.

Bucky had a nice place. The partially exposed brick walls paired well with the hardwood floors. Tasteful, but not extravagant. The thick curtains in the living room matched the drapes in his bedroom. Since he occasionally slept on the floor by the oversized chair, it helped to block out the sun. He didn't have much as far as decor, but he did have a piece of art that his best friend, Steve, drew hung up in the hall.

He also had a bowl that you made on the console to hold his keys, which he promptly set them in.

It meant something that he even let you into his apartment when others close to him had never been invited.

“Need anything to drink?” He asked, slipping his jacket and glove off.

He had an empty glass waiting on the kitchen island in case you did. While you indulged in a drink now and then, he wouldn't allow you to have too many. He refused to have sex with you if you were inebriated. Said it took consent away and you wouldn't be alert enough to use a safeword if necessary.

He wouldn't budge on that rule.

“No, thanks,” you answered, gazing at him.

His T-shirt strained against his biceps, one flesh and one vibranium. You could still smell his cologne from the small distance across the room, amber and cedarwood. Warm, comforting, dominating. All the things he was to you.

Not the monster he sometimes believed himself to be.

You eyed him as he poured himself a shot of whiskey, the need to soothe him coming forward when you caught a distant look in his eyes. He didn't even make a move to down his drink as he set his hands on the counter and stared off. Maybe he couldn't give you the details about what happened, but you could take care of him.

Because as much as he sometimes had to have control over you, both of you had power in your relationship.

“Bucky?” You gently called out, pulling him from his trance. “You can talk to me, even if you have to keep some things to yourself.”

His shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Three months.”

“I'm sorry?”

“Three months since we started this,” he answered.

You realized he was right when you remembered the date. It felt longer yet still brand new. “Yeah. Three great months,” you smiled.

A knot formed in your stomach when he didn't smile back. “And you still feel safe with me?” He asked, gripping the counter so hard you thought it might crumble in his hands. “You really trust that I won’t hurt you?”

Your smile slipped, the questions like a punch to the gut as you walked toward him. You stopped a foot in front of him to give him some breathing room as he made eye contact. Where had that come from? What happened to make him question that?

“Of course, I feel safe. Not only do I feel safe with you and trust you, I know that you won't hurt me. You will always take care of me,” you said with fierce determination, yet with a vulnerability you couldn't hide. “If I didn't believe that, I wouldn’t be here and I wouldn’t submit to you.”

You told him the same thing the day you two agreed on this arrangement. He wasn't your boyfriend, but he wasn't like your ex. He wouldn't just throw you away without a second thought or ignore your needs. You also had faith in him that he wouldn't harm you.

And as much as you trusted him, he trusted you that much more. If he didn't, he wouldn't have called you in the first place. That meant he still trusted himself around you.

He looked away and asked above a whisper, “Do you still think I'm a good man?”

“Yes,” you replied without hesitation, your heart aching when his jaw clenched. “Bucky, look at me, please.”

He slowly made eye contact with you, a storm swirling in his stare.

“You are a good man,” you stated, needing to reach the part of him that believed it. “And it doesn't matter how many times you ask me that, my answer isn't going to change. Ever.”

Bucky was silent, his breathing the only sound in the space. You were worried that you said the wrong thing before he pushed himself away from the counter. Instead of moving back when he approached, you stood firm, ready to brace the storm. You sometimes felt like a mouse confronted by a lion when he got close, but it sent a thrill through you. Because you meant what you said.

You trusted him and he made you feel safe.

“I just had to hear you say it,” he whispered as he cupped your face.

A fire lit within you as Bucky captured your mouth with his. There was care and tenderness beneath the hunger and you found yourself clinging to his arms as you kissed him back. No one before him had ever kissed you with such desire, such passion. It had you chasing his lips when he pulled away too soon.

“Now go to my room, get undressed, and kneel on the bed facing the headboard,” he ordered, his voice low and allowing the words to sink in just in case you had any objections. Because he was done talking and ready to play.

So were you.

It took you a moment to answer since you had to bite back a whine. “Yes, Sir,” you whispered, feeling his eyes on you as you walked to his bedroom.

You focused on keeping your breathing even as you shed your clothes, taking a moment to fold them before you set them on the chair in the corner. The only time you left your garments on the floor was if Bucky put them there or had you put on a show for him. It was his space and you respected it.

He hadn't told you how long to wait for him, but your heart thumped as you knelt on the queen sized bed. You didn’t see any toys as you glanced around, but there was water, snacks, wipes, and the soft blanket you loved waiting on the nightstand. It took a moment for you to spot that there was a blindfold and scarf on top of the blanket. Your womb clenched in anticipation, an exquisite feeling knowing your patience and obedience would reward you.

Bucky walked through the door a minute later and shut it behind him. The energy shifted completely, both of you ready for each other. As much as you wanted to lift your gaze and look behind you, you kept your eyes downcast as he approached the bed. He cupped your cheek once he was close enough and forced your eyes to meet his.

“My beautiful angel,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your skin as you glowed from the praise. He reached for the scarf and ran his fingers across the silk as he glanced at you. “As much as I hate to cover those beautiful eyes of yours and restrain you, I want you to concentrate on my touch tonight. Just let me have you.”

A shiver rolled down your spine as you nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Hands behind your back,” he said, moving to secure them once you did so. The silk was soft against your skin, almost as soft as the kiss to your shoulder. After years of being restrained, you knew he felt guilty at times taking your control away. The difference was you gave yourself to him willingly. “Tell me your safewords.”

“Green is good. Yellow to pause,” you stated, testing the scarf. He never bound you too tight, but it was enough that you couldn’t slip your wrists free. “Red to stop."

“Good girl,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You turned your head a fraction so he could slot his lips properly over yours. Gentle, yet hot enough to melt your insides. “My good girl.”

He maneuvered you so you were in the middle of the bed and spread your knees a bit further apart. He joined you on his knees, still fully clothed. Casting your gaze down again, you bit your lip when you saw the prominent bulge in his pants. A hand came up to grasp your chin before you could stare for too long and lifted your head. If you were still wearing your panties, they would’ve dampened from his darkened gaze.

“So beautiful and all mine tonight,” he said.

“I’m yours, Sir,” you whispered, the word “always” unspoken.

“And I know you were staring,” he smirked, his fingers working the button and zipper of his jeans. His impressive cock sprang free once he pushed his underwear and pants down far enough and you wished you could lean down and swirl your tongue around the large head. “Greedy angel. Just desperate to have my cock in you.”

“Yes, Sir. Please,” you begged.

He made a show of lifting the blindfold before he slipped it over your head, your body tensing up when your world went dark. Sight was one of the senses you relied on the most. It helped you absorb most of the world around you. And now it was temporarily gone. It felt like your heart would burst from your chest as you breathed a bit heavier. But Bucky was there, softly touching your face until you relaxed.

“Breathe, angel. I’ve got you,” he whispered, drawing a gasp from you when his lips touched yours. His hands mapped your body, brushing along your breasts down to your thighs. You felt him everywhere. “Color?”

“Green,” you whispered as a hand moved around your back and forced you to arch. He was careful not to hurt your arms. “Please.”

Your head fell back with a moan as his lips closed around your nipple. You could practically feel that he looked up at you as he gently suckled. A wave of arousal crashed through you as he pinched the other. No one had ever lavished your body with such attention the way Bucky did.

“I love seeing you like this,” he murmured against the swell of your breast. “Helpless. Trembling. Needy.”

You didn't mean to let such a wanton moan escape, but he made you feel needed. He made you feel wanted. It was a beautiful thing to surrender to him.

“And I love that I'm the one you trust to take care of you.”

“I trust you with my life, Sir,” you moaned.

And your heart, even though he had the power to break it.

Your chest suddenly felt colder when Bucky pulled his mouth and hand away and you shook from the loss of his heat. His vibranium hand touched your torso to remind you he was close when he shifted closer to you on the bed. You gasped when he dragged his hand down and you were helpless to do anything but feel when it slid between your legs.

“You're doing so well for me,” he said, his teeth grazing your neck as his fingers spread your sopping folds. He teased you, letting you soak his metal fingers as you mewled. He lightly bit you again when he replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding along your slit, but not pushing inside you just yet. “You want me inside you? You need me to fuck you, don't you? Tell me.”

Your cheeks flamed as you whined. “I need you to fuck me, Sir,” you said, trying to widen your thighs to take him in more.

“I will. I'm going to give you everything you need,” he rumbled, gripping your hips with strong and capable hands to keep you still. “And you’re going to let me ruin your pretty little pussy with my cock.”

You panted with want at his possessiveness. Filthy words were something you never thought you’d hear from someone associated with The Avengers and they kicked your body into overdrive. You ached to have him split you open. “Ruin me, Sir.”

In one swift move he lifted you, pulled you into his lap, and buried himself to the hilt. Your mouth fell open as you let out a cry, every inch of his cock stretching and making itself at home in your welcoming cunt. You couldn't brace yourself on his shoulders with your hands behind your back. You couldn't see the ecstasy in his eyes as he let you adjust to his size, but you didn't have to. Not with the way he dug his fingers in and groaned against your shoulder.

He took you to heaven when he was inside you.

“Color,” he said against your skin, thrusting his hips up once.

“Green,” you moaned, reminding yourself to stay still when you wanted him to move. “So green.”

“Good girl,” he whispered, gently kissing up to your ear. “Keep being good while I bounce you up and down on my cock.”

Your eyes fluttered behind the blindfold as he pulled you up and slammed you back down on his cock. Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth and your heart beat frantically in your chest. It was difficult to string thoughts together, but they all went back to him and how good he made you feel. How he made you feel beautiful.

Flaws and all.

“It’s like your cunt was made for me, angel. Practically crying all over my cock,” his voice was smoky as sounds of pleasure tumbling from your lips. The next moan was softer when he slid a hand up to your neck, resting it there as the other kept your hips flush against his. “You deserve to feel good because you are good. So fucking good.”

Your lower lip trembled as a sob worked its way to your throat, “Thank you, Sir,” you whimpered before he squeezed.

“And I. Deserve. You.” He punctuated each word with a deep thrust. You didn’t have to see his face to know the fury that surfaced. “My angel. Mine.”

It overwhelmed you as he bounced you in his lap, sinking you down onto him again and again. His thrusts were almost unforgiving, but the hand on your throat didn’t tighten anymore. He couldn’t hurt you. He wouldn’t hurt you.

“I’m your angel, Sir,” you moaned as he reduced you to a needy wet mess.

“I wanna tear you apart,” he growled against your lips. “And put you back together so you still feel me when you fucking breathe.”

“Tear me apart, Sir,” you gasped, a plea for him to use you more. Your thighs hit his as he thrust up and all you could do was take it. He touched places inside you no one else could reach, physically and emotionally, and you never wanted it to stop. “Please!”

“Tell me you need me to come inside you and I’ll let you come,” he ordered, the hand on your neck squeezing a fraction. “Say it.”

“Come inside me, Sir,” you begged.

“Bucky,” he breathed against your lips. “Say. My. Name.”

Your next breath was shaky. He always had you call him “Sir” on nights like this. Why was this different?

Your orgasm began to crest, but you couldn’t let go until you gave him what he wanted. And he’d give you what you needed. “Come inside me, Bucky,” you exhaled. “Please.”

He swiped his thumb along your pulse with a deep groan, his cock still driving up into you. “I will after you come,” he promised, his tongue sliding past your parted lips and pulling away all too quickly. “C’mon, angel. Come for me. Show me you’re mine.”

The sob you tampered down earlier resuraced, wrenched from your throat as you came. Your release continued, practically leaking around his cock as tears slid out beneath the blindfold. You were beyond rational thought as pleasure spiraled through you, vaguely aware that he thrust through it to chase his own end.

“Good. Fucking. Girl.” He grunted, pulsing hotly inside you as he filled you up.

Both of you panted as you continued to drift from euphoria, your heart still beating wildly. You were warm, but your body shivered as he lifted you up. Your combined release slid from your aching cunt once he slipped free. You floated and wanted him to catch you, but you couldn’t put your arms around him.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered when you let out a whimper. He made quick work of untying your wrists so he could lay you down properly and wipe away the tears still on your cheeks. “I’m going to take the blindfold off.”

Your eyes stayed shut for a moment when Bucky removed it, but you cracked them open when you wanted to see him. Your vision slowly cleared as you blinked a few times, your mind still floating as he came into view. He called you an angel, but he was the one who had a halo around his head at the moment. A gorgeous angel who had unrightfully had his wings taken away. He smiled like he wanted to eat you alive, but his touch was nothing short of tender when he brought his hand to your face.

“So fucking beautiful. You did so well for me. Fuck, I just wanna clean you with my tongue and fill you up all over again,” he praised as you clenched around nothing and whined. As hot as it sounded, you needed a bit of rest after that. “Not tonight,” he smiled, keeping a hand on you as he grabbed a wipe.

A reason he had everything close by was because you craved his touch after sex. If he ever got too far away, you whimpered and reached for him. It made you feel needy, but he assured you that he needed to keep touching you just as badly.

It just wasn’t fair that he looked so composed.

Bucky continued to shower you with soft praise as he cleaned you up. It didn’t take him long before he wrapped the soft blanket around you, trembles moved through your entire body as he put his arms around you, too. He took aftercare very seriously. It was a way for you to feel cared for and nurtured while allowing your body and brain to return back to normal. He never wanted you to experience negativity or sadness after any sort of session, especially an intense one.

You were aware that he moved you closer in his arms and rested his cheek against the top of your head, but you weren't ready to speak yet. It always took you a minute to come back to yourself and he was never one to rush or push you. If relaxing in his embrace was what it took to return to the world, he was more than content to keep you in his arms.

At least, that was what he told you.

You opened your eyes after a few minutes. Your heartbeat was back to a steady rhythm, but you still weren't ready to move yet. You were warm and safe. Bucky was there to take care of you. But what about him?

Had you taken care of him?

Bucky had a faint smile on his face when you lifted your head, his shoulders relaxed and eyes soft. Like he was at ease with everything around him. “Welcome back, angel,” he whispered, peppering your face with light kisses.

“Hey,” you smiled tiredly, your voice a little hoarse as you brought a hand to his hair, happy that you could touch him again. Judging by the way his eyes slipped shut for a moment before he opened them, he missed your touch, too.

“You okay?”

“I am and so are you. You're okay.” It wasn't a question. Whatever haunted him earlier was gone.

For now.

He didn't tear his gaze away as he reached for the water behind him, which you gratefully accepted as he put it to your lips. “You amaze me, you know? You just came back to yourself, but you're talking about me being okay.”

“Isn’t that why you call me?” You asked with a small frown, taking another large sip. “To help you?”

His brows furrowed. “It’s not just about me. This is about you, too.”

You took one more drink before you could say something stupid. Yes, this was about you, too. How he didn't push too far. How he’d hold you after sex and talk with you because those things were important to you. How he made you feel cherished and wanted for a short while.

You just didn't want to admit that he was a constant in your mind. But would it be so wrong if you did? Even if he’d never date you, didn't he have a right to know how you felt?

Communication was key and you would have to eventually tell him if those feelings persisted.

“It’s about both of us and I just want you to be okay,” is what you said because it was the truth.

He set the water aside and cupped your cheek, his calloused hand a little cool, but nice. You almost wished you could hide from his knowing eyes, but he didn’t press you for more. “I am now,” he said, swallowing a little. “I just couldn't let you see me tonight.”

Worry filled his eyes like he may have upset you, but you shook your head. You had seen his scars, but he was never obligated to show you his body. “You're letting me see you now,” you said, scooting closer as he brought your wrist to his mouth to kiss it.

You thought about how the evening played out. How he asked if you thought he was a good man. How he demanded that you speak his name. And how he said he deserved you. Either something happened while he was gone or someone said or did something to get to him. You wished you knew what it was since he didn’t expand on what had been eating away at him before.

“And before you ask, you didn't hurt me,” you told him, knowing the question was coming. You appreciated that he cared enough to check.

He pressed a kiss to your temple. “Good because I’d never stop hating myself if I did,” he admitted, looking at the ceiling for a moment. “You don't deserve that kind of pain.”

Your heart swelled, not letting any past hurt enter your mind. He made you believe that you deserved better than what you had. It was a good feeling.

“Neither do you. And that's a reason why safewords exist. Both of us can use them,” you reminded him. Like aftercare, he took the words seriously. He listened to you. And if he ever got overwhelmed, he had every right to stop it the same way you did. “So no self-hate tonight.”

He huffed in mock annoyance. “Yes, ma’am. And speaking of self-hate,” he teased, tilting his head to look your way. “I really don’t want to go to therapy tomorrow.”

There was a forced calmness in his blue eyes as you assessed him. “You still don’t like your therapist,” you stated.

One of the conditions of his pardon was that he had to go to therapy. It was meant to help him process his thoughts and past experiences in order to work through them. Though he didn’t tell you what went on in his sessions as it was none of your business, he didn’t keep it a secret from you that the doctor was far from his favorite person.

You wondered if Bucky told her about you.

“What’s there to like?” He asked.

You smiled a little, knowing better than to poke the bear and say she probably wasn't that bad. “Well, being able to speak to someone who provides non-judgemental and empathetic support is one thing.”

“That’s why I like talking to you,” he said, the affection in his voice making your heart skip a beat.

“Oh,” you said, not sure what else to say.

Moments like that made you think he cared. No, that wasn’t right. You knew he cared about you. But hearing things like that made you feel like there was hope for more and he wasn’t ready for that.

Hope was both a wonderful and dangerous thing.

“Have you met anyone else?” He asked suddenly, moving his hand to your back.

It was a question Bucky asked every time he had you over. He said from the start if there was another man in your life that you’d rather be with, someone who could offer you more, he’d step aside. There wasn't anyone else. You didn't want anyone else.

And while it was admirable that he would walk away if that ever changed, your heart ached at the thought that he’d easily let you go. Because at the end of the day he wasn't ready for a relationship. Not yet.

Even if he was, who said he wanted one with you?

“No, I haven't met anyone,” you said, feeling the warm breath of his exhale against your skin as his hand moved up and down your back. It relaxed you more and you found yourself fighting a yawn. “Have you?”

“No,” he chuckled. The crinkles by his eyes made him look carefree. “Not since you saved me.”

You shut your eyes, afraid that tears would well up if you looked at him. “I didn't save you. All I did was buy you a coffee one afternoon,” you whispered dismissively.

That day changed your life.

“I’m going to let that slide since you're sleepy, but I’m going to remind you when you're wide awake that you did a lot more than that,” he spoke. He held you a little tighter when you stayed quiet. You were more tired than you thought. “Get some sleep, angel. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You let your eyes shut at his command. “Thank you for taking care of me, Bucky.”

“Thank you for taking a chance on me.”

There was something else unspoken in the air, but a tender kiss to your forehead stopped you from reading too deeply into it.

In the morning, he’d send you back to your place after he made you breakfast. He’d text you later to make sure you were okay. He would continue to check in and you would do your best not to fall for him more. Because one day he wouldn't need you anymore. You didn't know when that day would come, but tonight you could indulge in the fantasy that Bucky wanted you to be his girl.

Permanently.

I just want these two happy and together. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[salemlinnet]

hey everyone!

a few news items right before we start up chapter 5. firstly i just wanna say thanks to everyone who follows my comics, it's been a pleasure as always. i've been keeping a longer buffer on patreon than usual, mostly for my mental health. publishing takes a lot of energy and i've really felt it necessary to just focus on production for a few weeks. at this point, patrons have seen most of chapter 5, there's only one more scene and about a page to be drawn. the quiet has been nice, i've caught up on a lot of house keeping, though i'm obviously very excited to present it! and on house keeping,

DOMESTICATED IS NOW LIVE AT IT'S NEW HOME!

to not go into the boring details (the old domain got trapped between to hosting sites in the middle of a buyout), it's not hosted at cod-domesticated.com (rip custom url you will be missed) it will instead be hosted at salemlinnet.com/domesticated (now you live at my house like you're my son why didn't i think of this sooner). if you find any errors in the pages i am so sorry i just formatted so many buttons TTuTT it would be super helpful to me if folks could report any specific buttons that don't work if it's convenient, it's been beta tested by the discord (thank you guys so much) but i'm just a dunce and i can't be trusted so there might be errors.

the simons are all wearing a little beret this chapter is my third point of business, i am losing it over the ghost beret. oh and the devil may care is up to chapter 18, will be chapter 19 within a few days. page 21 is out for patrons.

finally, to the people lurking for thistle and spade. i've wanted to say for some time, i'm really grateful that you've stuck around while i've been too sick to work on a bigger project. if you were here to see me start production for and then pull ghost #1, the story behind it is that i sort of suddenly learned i wouldn't always be as sick as i was, that i didn't have to rush anything, and that i could produce thistle and spade in chronological order with a bit of patience. that left me with no smaller project to draw and release in the mean time, except, see, i really like this game, call of duty. i was still on bed rest when i started domesticated, and with a ton of physical therapy i've been able to draw longer and longer hours. it's trained me up to be a better comic artist than i ever was before. it's grown into a sturdier project at the same pace. it's so unlike thistle and spade, whose chapters were written and edited over years and planned to every gesture and expression. i'm just winging it with domesticated, i'm usually rewriting massive swaths of dialogue as i sketch the scenes out, i just keep throwing out ideas until it's something i'm excited to draw and present as my imaginary "what happened outside of the games" day dream land. it's reminded me what i love so much about story telling and comics. it's made me excited to see thistle and spade go live again down the road. but first i have to rebuild its website too TTuTT

all right i'll see everyone pretty soon! thanks for hanging around as usual!

[fuckingstrange]

Wrecked

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WARNINGS: PWP/Porn without plot, straight into the smut, rough sex, multiple orgasms, crying during sex, overstimulation (r receiving), this is incredibly gay, anal sex, also hand job?, Idk how to fucking tag shit right I'm so sorry, Pet names (Baby, Good boy) used to reader bc no y/n will ever grace my page, dirty talk?, A dash of aftercare, SMUT!!!, no beta we make typos like grandpa using speech to text

WORDS: 725?+

PAIRING: Aaron Hotchner x m!reader

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A/n: Omg two fics in like one week??? Or two days?? I feel like I've returned to my Christmas Ficlist days...

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The electricity that runs through your body feels like less than death but more than life, each slam of Hotch’s hips against you stinging like a swat with a spoon, but feeling amazing when he hammers into that sweet spot. He's been going at it for nearly two hours, dragging as many orgasms out of you as he can.

Crying and trembling, voice hoarse as you unleash moan after moan, cry after cry, he still doesn't stop. Pumping your cock with his free hand, covered in the loads of cum from your three previous orgasms, you swear your heart could stop at any moment.

The pounding in your chest is as rough as the pounding against your ass, his own groans echoing in your ear as he mumbles sweet nothings, pure praises for lasting so long.

“Doing so- so fucking good, Lookin’ so pretty like this. All- All wrecked, so loud for me.” Hotch’s voice barely breaks through over the ringing in your ears.

He leans up, having originally been caging over you with his head dipped towards your shoulder, grabbing onto one of your legs with his free hand to push it out further, making him reach even deeper. Managing to move even faster, even quicker and even rougher, he slams into you like this is the last time he's gonna ever get the pleasure of fucking you.

Your moans have fallen into short gasps, low pants being exhaled beside a whine warning him of your next impending orgasm. A shaky hand lifts to grab at his upper arm, blunt nails digging in to leave crescent moon shapes within the skin as his thick cock stabs at your prostate even quicker than before, his hips having found the perfect angle to hit it each time.

“Aaron, Aar-’n,” You practically chant as he continues to build you towards another release. Your trembling gasps don't deter him, the sound of you calling out for him instead just encouraging him to move faster.

Hotch has to refrain from biting down on his lower lip, having already made it bleed before when he tried holding off his first orgasm. Bringing himself to a second, and you to a forth, he puts all his effort into helping you get through it.

“Right here, I'm right here, baby.” He huffs out, head lolling back as he lets out a few moans of his own. “Come on, You've got this. One last time for me, just one more.”

Becoming boneless beneath him, your hand falls from his arm to drop on the bed beside you, taking all he has to offer at this point. Your eyes flutter open to look up at him, vision blurred but not enough that you can't see just how gorgeous he looks above you. It's enough to make your breath catch as your cock pulses, spitting out what left you have to offer as you choke out a cry.

Hotch gives a last few thrusts before he's coming, pressing as deep in you that he can reach. His body shudders as his hand on your cock falters, feeling it twitch and pulse in his hand as cum covers his fingers and drips onto your stomach.

Falling forward to hover over you again, the hand on your hip slides up to rub your side, careful to avoid spreading the semen around on your stomach. He takes a good few minutes to regain his composure before kissing your cheek, asking “Do you want me to get a bath going? Or just wipe you off?”

You'd probably be able to offer more than just a weakly whispered “Rag,” as an answer if you weren't so spent, eyes already trying to fall shut from how exhausted you are after being pushed to the limit.

Hotch doesn't pull away until he can feel you soften in his hand, reaching down to help pull himself out while kissing over each shut eyelid. He slips out of the bed, quickly heading to the bathroom to grab a rag out from the sink’s cabinet and wet it with warm water before returning.

Sitting down beside you he reaches over to wipe the cum off your softened cock and stomach, watching you relax further into the bed from the warm cloth. By the time he's finished wiping you up, he can already hear you snoring.

[wolfjackle-creates]

Something Next to Normal

Tim's having a regular day at school when a classmate ropes him into helping with the school play as the light technician. Tim agrees to one rehearsal, but his responsibilities as Robin keep him so busy. He knows he'll have to turn down the position. Then he learns what Next to Normal is about. Tim absolutely cannot do this. --- Alfred is proud of Tim for taking on an extracurricular. The boy spends so much time alone. Having an excuse to spend time with other students his age can only be good for him. He wants to go see the show, but Tim counsels against it. After looking it up, Alfred spends a night in sleepless grief. But when day comes and he's face-to-face with Tim, he realizes the living boy in front of him needs him and something has to change.

This fic is inspired by a conversation I had with @yaderyngoch that you can find here.

Next to Normal is a super emotional musical that deals with surviving after grief. And the themes fit so well with Tim's early tenure as Robin that once the connection had been made, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Within hours, I was asking yaderyngoch if they minded if I started writing. A month later, this is what came of it.

Thanks to @greensword101 and @flipwizardstarlight for helping beta!

I plan to release chapter two in about a week.

Chapter 1 word count: 5,969

Content Warning: Bruce doesn't take a parental role towards Tim. And, at this point, he's not being a very good mentor either. He's too caught up in his own grief. The comfort will come up in chapter two.

-----

“Tim, Tim! There you are!”

Tim turned to see Alex, a senior in the journalism and drama clubs, waving a hand above his head and running towards him down the school hallway. “Hey, Alex. What’s wrong?”

Alex stopped right in front of him and bent over panting. He held one finger up, silently asking Tim to wait a moment. Finally, still somewhat breathless, he said, “We found out last night that my dad got a major promotion at work.”

“That’s awesome, congrats!” said Tim.

But Alex shook his head. “They want him to start immediately. Job’s out in California so we’ll have to move.”

Tim grimaced in sympathy. “Dude, that sucks. When will you be moving?”

“End of the week. But look, we need your help.”

Tim cocked his head. He wasn't really that close to Alex, though they were friendly. “How can I help? I assume your dad’s company will be providing movers and stuff.”

Alex waved him off. “Not like that. I mean with the musical! Performances are happening in a month and I’m in charge of lighting. You’re literally the only person in the whole school who I think could learn everything in time.”

Tim bit his lip. He was already falling behind on his homework due to his Robin responsibilities. “I don’t know, I’m really busy right now…”

“Please, Tim,” begged Alex. “Just come to today’s rehearsal. It’s right after class. Give it a shot, and if you hate it, I’ll figure something else out. But please, one rehearsal.”

Tim hesitated a moment longer, but the pleading in Alex’s eyes got to him. He never could help being useful. “Okay, one rehearsal.”

---

The moment Tim entered the auditorium, Alex waved to him. “Tim! You made it, awesome. Come on, let me introduce you to Mrs. V.”

Before Tim could do more than say, “Hi,” back, Alex grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the front of the auditorium.

“Mrs. V! This is Tim.”

Tim smiled up at the woman and held out his hand just as his mother had taught him. “Nice to make your acquaintance, Ma’am.”

She looked to be in her late thirties and had bushy black hair and dark eyes. She cocked her head at him, but shook his hand. “You look awfully young to be in high school, Tim. Will your parents mind you staying late?”

“I skipped a grade,” said Tim, brushing past the question like he always did. Starting high school at barely thirteen was unusual enough, and he was small for his age. “And I’ll be talking it over with them tonight to see if I can make it work.” An utter lie, of course. Tim’s parents wouldn’t be home for a few weeks yet. But they made a good excuse. “I’ll be able to let you know tomorrow for sure.”

“And, Alex, you really think he’ll be able to learn everything?”

Alex was nodding before she’d even finished speaking. “Yep. He might be a freshman, and a young one at that, but he’s brilliant. He was in the journalism club in middle school, right?” Alex waited for Mrs. V to nod before continuing. “So their teacher brought them to the high school to get a look at our recording studio here. Tim figured out the equipment in, like, ten minutes. To the point where he was correcting Dave last year’s president of the high school club. We’ve integrated nearly all of his suggestions into our broadcasts this year.”

Her eyes widened, and she looked at Tim with much more interest. “Then I hope your parents let you join us,” she said.

Tim didn’t let his expression slip and wondered what his parents would say if he ever bothered to ask their permission. Oh, who was he kidding? They wouldn’t care so long as it didn’t interfere with his school image.

“As I’m sure you’ve heard, I’m Mrs. Vasilakis, but most students just call me Mrs. V. Today we’ll be doing a run through of the show from top to bottom with scripts in hand so Alex can show you what he does and you can get used to the show. We’re doing Next to Normal, are you familiar with it?”

Tim shook his head. “I don’t know many musicals, I’m sorry.”

She waved him off. “Well, I hope we can get you interested. Alex, I can give you twenty minutes to show him the controls while I corral this group and get them warmed up.”

“Thanks, Mrs. V! Come on, Tim. You can toss your backpack down on any empty seat.”

Tim did as instructed and followed Alex to the back of the auditorium.

Alex led him to a small door with a “Do Not Enter” sign hung on it. He pulled out a key and unlocked the door. “Mrs. V lets me keep the key, though she might want you to get it from her every time. I guess they had issues a few years back with people sneaking up here. Something was stolen or broken or something and since then admin refuses to allow students open access.”

Tim nodded his understanding, but a glance at the lock proved it was as cheap as they came. He didn’t know how it worked to actually keep anyone out.

The door led to a narrow stairway and at the top was a room just large enough for the lights, their controls, and two chairs. Alex sat in one and gestured Tim to the other.

“Home, sweet, home,” said Alex grinning. “So, you ever seen any of this stuff before?”

“Some of it,” admitted Tim. Enough of the Gotham rogues had a flare for the dramatics that he’d seen some weird light shows, even if he hadn’t been on the job that long yet. “But I’ve never been in charge of it.”

“Still better than I could say when I started. We’ve tried to keep things labeled pretty clearly so that helps. These dials are the over head lights, these are over stage lights, spotlights. The set up here is pretty good for a high school, but we’re still limited in what we can do. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a professionally performed play or musical, but don’t worry. We won’t be doing anything nearly so fancy.”

“I haven’t, actually,” commented Tim. He thought he had it all figured out, but it would be good to see everything in action. “I think my mom likes plays, but I’ve never gone with her. I think she is afraid I’d struggle sitting quietly for that long.”

“Would you?”

Tim laughed. “Probably a year or two ago. I’d be good now. But back on topic, what’s most important?”

“Right, yeah. Of course that’s what you want to know. Basically make sure anyone who is speaking has a light on them. And that anyone who is on stage can be seen, even if they’re in shadow. This show isn’t the worst, but there are a few moments where multiple characters are singing in contrast to each other. And if we can show the space between them while still lighting them, it’d be great.”

“I… what?” Tim had no idea what that was supposed to mean.

Alex grimaced. “I suppose that doesn’t make sense—“

A loud piercing whistle sounded from below them.

“Well, you’ll see when we get into it. Just watch what I do, yeah?”

Tim shrugged again. “Sure. I’m good at learning on my feet.”

Alex grinned. “It’s why I’m begging you to do this!” He watched the stage a minute and nodded to himself. “Okay, we’re gonna lower all the lights. You always start in dark. This is how we do that.”

Tim watched intently, taking even more notes, as Alex deftly adjusted dials until everything sat in darkness.

Then Alex turned on a spotlight, showing a boy a girl—playing a mother and son—arguing before the boy stormed out of the house. Then the girl started singing about her family. When she reached the line about her daughter, “And my daughter though a genius is a freak,” another spotlight turned on and Tim watched as Alex pointed it at a different girl sitting at a table with a textbook and papers spread in front of her.

He cringed when he heard the mom character say, “I’m going to have sex with your father,” and decided he didn’t really care about the story. Instead he focused on following Alex’s actions. The daughter took over the song, so Alex turned off the light on the mother.

Soon enough, four actors were on stage, trading off lines as they sung about it being “just another day.” And Tim understood what Alex was doing. Each had a spotlight on them, but the shadows were deep between the characters because they didn’t seem to like each other very much, even if they were a family.

Soon it was hard to even follow the words with everyone singing together. Tim really didn’t think he was going to like the show. He had his own struggles with his family and with Bruce. He didn’t really want to watch a fictional family’s struggles.

Whatever, he didn’t have to enjoy himself today.

So he tuned it out. He focused on how Alex played with the lights to make sure everything could be seen. He watched the difference between solos and ensemble moments. When spotlights were used versus lighting the whole stage.

Despite Tim’s best attempts, he couldn’t help but learn about the family. The daughter, Natalie, was the character he liked the most. The son, Gabe, was just an asshole. The dad, Dan, was trying to hold everything together and failing miserably. And the mom, Diana, was falling apart as badly as Bruce and they couldn’t seem to find a good treatment for her.

But all of that was just background to the lighting techniques he was learning. Then when Diana came out with a birthday cake for Gabe, Dan had to take her to the side and remind her that “he’s been dead, sixteen years,” and Tim stopped breathing.

”He’s not here.” echoed in Tim’s ears.

His blood ran cold, and he stared at the stage is shock. The reveal had been a complete surprise, but suddenly so much about the show made sense. And yet all Tim could think of was Bruce, still clinging to the memory of Jason, putting himself—and all of Gotham—at risk in the process.

“You all right?” whispered Alex.

“Huh?” Tim shook his head to reorient himself. His heart was beating too fast. Why was he reacting so strongly? But all he could hear were the words, “He’s not here,” repeating in his mind. Tim forced a smile just as his mother had taught him, though. “Oh, yeah. Of course. Just didn’t expect that.”

Alex laughed even as the music turned more upbeat, the tone jarring compared to the one before. He turned the lights up to match the new tone. “One of the best twists in a musical in my opinion. Forgot you wouldn’t know to expect it.”

Tim just hummed as Diana took center stage again. Her words, “Do you know what it’s like to die alive,” made him cross his arms and clench his fists around his shirt. Why was it that despite the actors in front of him, all he could see was Bruce throwing himself into fight after fight?

But Diana was worse than Bruce. She still had a daughter. One who was still a kid and relied on her. Didn’t she care? He forced himself to tune out her words and returned to taking notes on what Alex did.

He managed well enough until Natalie’s next song came on. Her first three lines went by, worming their way into his head until, “She’s not there,” made him stop.

All he could do was stare at the stage as the girl sang. Each line seemed to hit harder than the last.

“He’s immortal, forever alive. Then there’s me.”

The actress filled every line with a resigned desperation for something, anything, to be different. Tim’s breath froze in his chest. Was his heart still beating? He could hear the blood rushing in his ears, but somehow the words from the stage broke through even that.

“He’s your hero, forever your son. He’s not here. I am here.”

His eyes burned, and he bit his cheek to give himself something else to focus on.

Then Diana tried to comfort Natalie. “You know I love you. I love you as much as I can.”

Tim clenched his fists hard to hide their shaking even as Natalie threw her arms up in frustration on the stage. Why was he reacting so strongly? He wasn’t the same as Natalie. Bruce wasn’t his dad so it didn’t matter if Bruce couldn’t even look at him half the time. He had parents. They might not be home right now, but they loved him. They did.

He wasn’t Natalie.

“Please look closely and find her before she fades away!”

Tim barely heard the rest of the song. Was he breathing? He needed to breathe. He let out a shaky breath.

“Tim? You sure you’re good?”

He needed to focus. His mom would be so disappointed in him. He smiled, just like he’d learned to do for the galas he’d been forced to attend from the age of five. “Of course, Alex. Sorry. I just didn’t realize how good a singer Rose is.”

Alex grinned. “Yeah. She’s really good. Got the role of Natalie as a junior if you can believe it.” He paused speaking to adjust more lights. “Are you following what I’m doing?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

Compartmentalize. Tim could do this. He’d been doing it for years. And he’d only gotten better at it since becoming Robin.

The next song, sung by Gabe again, made his heartbeat ratchet back up. Tim hated Gabe for reasons he couldn’t articulate even to himself. But hearing the ghost of the dead son sing about how he was alive as he danced around his mom, crowding her, had Tim biting his cheek so hard he tasted blood. He stopped, closed his eyes for two seconds, and focused again on what Alex was doing. On the way the lights followed Gabe as he haunted, taunted, the rest of his family in turn.

He’d get through this. He’d promised one rehearsal and that’s what he’d get through. Tomorrow he’d say he couldn’t do it.

Even as all the characters begged, “Catch me I’m falling,” Tim focused on just learning his job. When Dan and Diana blew off Natalie’s recital, he clenched his fist, but kept his breathing steady.

Alex didn’t ask if he was okay, just kept up a quiet stream of instructions.

Diana’s failed suicide, done at the behest of Gabe’s ghost, reminded him of all his nightmares of being too late and finding Bruce’s body broken and bloody one day when trying to follow him on patrol. The nightmares that always made him wake screaming.

Tim forced himself not to think of Alfred when Dan sang about standing with his “feet right on the ground” whenever Diana went off flying. He ignored the way Dan wished for someone to give him a lift. And if Tim’s breath caught when Dan sang his was “just a slower suicide,” it didn’t matter because Alex didn’t notice. He just focused on how Alex softened the lights to make the scene more melancholy.

Finally, after Diana agreed to ECT at Dan’s pleading, Alex turned the lights all the way down, then all the way back up.

“And this is the end of act one! What do you think so far?”

Tim swallowed and shrugged. “I didn’t realize they made musicals like this. Are they common?”

“This one was pretty groundbreaking when it came out. More recently, we’ve got Be More Chill and Dear Evan Hansen. But I’ll tell you a secret, I like this one way more.”

Tim hummed and looked over the lighting equipment. “It’s definitely intense. They’re doing a good job.”

“Yep. So for the real show, intermission will last about twenty minutes. Three minutes before curtain, you’ll want to dim the lights briefly to warn people to get back to their seats. Right now, Mrs. V is going to talk to the actors and give some pointers for a few minutes. Give everyone a chance to catch their breaths. Need the bathroom?”

Tim shook his head.

“Then what questions do you have for me?”

Over the next few minutes, Tim made sure to ask any question he could think of. By the time Mrs. V let out another whistle to call everyone to their places, Tim was pretty sure he could manage lighting for the rest of the show. Though when Alex took up the position, Tim didn’t fight him.

No reason to seem too eager when he wouldn’t be taking the project on.

The next act started and Tim tried to pay minimal attention to the musical. Though when the characters realized Diana had amnesia from the treatment and Dan decided the proper response was to just not mention their son, he couldn’t hold back a snort.

Amusement that died in his throat when Natalie revealed what life had actually been like for her. At least he couldn’t draw any parallels there. Neither his parents nor Bruce had been present enough in his childhood to screw his up the way Diana had screwed over Natalie’s.

When Diana finally remembered her son, Tim expected the breakdown.

He couldn’t help but feel for Natalie as she left the house again to get into trouble. Memories of nights spent in Gotham when he was way too young threatened to overtake him.

He managed to push through it and get himself back under control by focusing on Alex’s actions. He paid vague attention to the musical, too invested in the story to fully ignore it. But he directed most of his focus to Alex. So many of the songs started with one character before changing to another, so he’d have to learn them well enough to know when to switch the lights as each person took over.

Diana’s therapist begged her to stay a patient, to not give in to her depression. But it was clear she’d had enough. Would Bruce give up one day? Decide to stop fighting and let himself die?

Only…it turned out Diana wasn’t fully giving up on life. She apologized to Natalie who was clearly caught between finding it too little, too late and hope that this time might be real.

He couldn’t help the ache he felt when Natalie and Diana agreed that a life “next to normal” would work just fine for them.

Tim knew what it was like to strive for a normal life. One where his parents were home. One where he was told “good job” when he did well on a school assignment or finally figured out how to do that flip.

Maybe it was time to give up that dream, though. Be like Natalie and settle for something else. The thought made his eyes burn, but he pushed it aside.

Surely Diana didn’t have to leave just for everyone to find a way to heal? Wasn’t there a way for them to figure it out together?

But Diana left and everyone, even Gabe, seemed to find a measure of peace.

Then Alex turned the lights down again until the entire auditorium was in darkness once more.

Mrs. V began clapping and called out “Well done, everyone!”

Alex turned all the lights back on and leaned back in his chair as Mrs. V addressed the actors.

“So, any more questions for me?” asked Alex.

---

“How was your extracurricular, Master Tim?” asked Alfred when Tim slipped into the passenger seat.

Tim shrugged and pretended he wasn’t still shaking inside from the music. “It was all right. But I think I’ll have to tell Alex I can’t do it. Just so busy, you know?”

Alfred tutted. “If you want to do it, we can make the time. Master Dick had his gymnastics meets. And Master Ja—”

Alfred cut himself off and Tim looked out the window. So many conversations ended that way in the manor. But he remembered Dan’s song about needing someone to lift him up. “You can talk about him, you know. To me. If you need to.” Tim didn’t look at Alfred as he spoke, just continued staring out the window.

“Thank you, Master Tim.”

The rest of the car ride passed in silence as Natalie’s refrain, “I’m not here,” echoed in Tim’s head. He focused on keeping his breathing steady and his hands still. He was fine.

When they got to the manor, Tim took over his corner of the dining room table and pulled out his homework. Laptop set up on an angle to his left, papers on his right. Start with math because that was the easiest.

Only he couldn’t focus on the numbers at all. For possibly the first time in his life, they didn’t make sense.

Catch me I’m falling.

Tim grit his teeth and grabbed his headphones. Maybe if he just listened to the soundtrack again, the songs would get out of his head?

He started it from the beginning. His pencil tapped against his papers in time to the beat. When he got to Natalie’s song, even his pencil stilled as he stared unseeing at his homework.

Then Gabe started singing “I’m Alive!” and Tim grabbed his phone and jabbed the back button. He couldn’t. He couldn’t listen to that one.

Natalie singing about being invisible might cause his hands to shake and his heart to beat hard, but it was better. He stared at his phone, watching the lyrics pass by. When the final words appeared, he jabbed the single repeat button to make sure he wouldn’t be jump scared again by Jason’s, Gabe’s song.

He had no idea how many times he’d listened to “Superboy and the Invisible Girl” when Alfred cleared his throat behind him. “How is your homework going, Master Tim?”

Only his months of training kept him from jumping in his seat. He looked over his math and realized he’d only managed to get through two problems. “Going great, Alfred. What’s up?”

Alfred raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t call him out on his lie. “Dinner is nearly ready. Why don’t you put away your things and help me carry it out?”

“Of course! I’ll be right there. Just give me two minutes.”

Alfred smiled and clasped his shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll go inform Master Bruce.”

Tim nodded as he gathered up his papers and closed his laptop. Within moments, his things were neatly packed and his backpack hidden in the hallway closet.

Dinner at Wayne Manor was as awkward as they all were. Tim sat two seats away from Bruce and kept quiet. The first time he’d eaten here, Tim had tried to ask Bruce about his day, but Bruce merely stared at him for an entire minute before grunting and going back to his food. Tim hadn’t tried again.

He should’ve refused the ride home and taken the three buses and a cab that it took to get from Gotham to Bristol. Then he could’ve eaten in his own home. At least there it was silent because no one else was around rather than whatever this mess was.

Through it all, he could hear the echo of Natalie’s song. He felt invisible sitting there in complete silence.

With no conversation and all three of them focused on their plates, Tim finished eating within ten minutes.

“Would you like anything else, Master Tim?”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

Bruce grunted. “Then report to the cave. I need to debrief you before tonight’s patrol. And I want to evaluate where you are in your training.”

Tim jumped to his feet. “Of course. I’ll bring my dishes to the kitchen and head right down.”

The debrief was boring. Edward Nygma had escaped Arkham, so Bruce had Tim review several of his old riddles. Tim had kept up with those when they had happened and really didn’t learn anything new. The Riddler’s cases had always interested him the most.

Not that he said anything of course. From the direction of Jason’s memorial, he could hear the echo of the words, “I’m alive!”

If one thing could be said for training, it was that it required enough of his focus to drown out Jason’s voice. Bruce hit hard and fast and scolded whenever Tim wasn’t able to dodge. But it was fine. He was getting better.

To his surprise, when they finished, Bruce merely grunted at him and turned away to change into his suit. Tim must’ve done really well, and he bit back a smile. Usually they spent at least ten minutes going over everything Tim had done wrong.

Patrol itself started fine. They were looking for leads on Nygma, but in the meantime just stopped anything they came across. The euphoria of patrol chased away the echo of any songs that might have haunted him otherwise.

Everything was going fine. Until Tim saw a woman in scrubs getting cornered in an alley by three large men. He looked around, but Bruce was already two streets away. “Batman?” he asked over comms.

“Hurry up, Robin.”

Tim bit his lip and debated following, but then the woman began begging. “No, please. I promise I don’t have anything.”

“You’ve got a phone, don’t you?” asked one of the men as he took another step forward.

“And even if not, bet there’s something else we could get from you.”

Tim did not like the smile on the second speaker’s face. Mind made up, he shot his grappling hook and swung down, making sure to land on Asshole #2’s shoulder’s, knocking him to the ground.

“Pretty sure she said she’s got nothing for you. Why don’t you leave her alone?” He stood on the asshole’s back.

“Shit, it’s the kid!”

“Where’s the bat?”

“Get offa me!”

Tim jumped off #2’s back as the man pushed himself up. Dick’s acrobatic training meant he landed on his feet, and Shiva’s training had him pulling out his staff and extending it into the man’s stomach as he did.

While #2 was bent over trying to regain his breath, Tim swung it to the left to get the Asshole #1. The woman, meanwhile, pulled out a canister of pepper spray and got the third directly in his face.

Tim grinned at her. “Thanks, ma’am!”

“I should be thanking you, Robin. Glad to see you back out on the streets!”

The pepper spray victim collapsed to the ground and was scrubbing his face, leaving Tim with just two to take down. He managed to get both incapacitated quickly and zip-tied their hands behind their backs.

He was finishing with their ankles when he heard, “Robin,” from behind him.

Shit, that was definitely Bruce’s I’m-not-happy voice. Tim forced a grin and turned. “Hiya, B!” he said, just as he’d heard Dick or Jason do when they were in trouble on patrol. “You missed the fun.”

Only, unlike with Jason and Dick, Bruce’s jaw tightened and his hand clenched into a fist.

But he didn’t say anything. So Tim turned back to the woman. “Want me to escort you home? How much farther do you have?” He knew Bruce wouldn’t be happy with that, either, but he couldn’t just leave her.

“Just two blocks more. Would you mind?”

“Not at all!” Tim turned to Bruce, still grinning. “You can call this in, right? I’ll be right back!”

“Robin!” barked Bruce.

“Yeah?” Tim pretended to have no idea Bruce was upset. He was shaking inside, but he was Robin right now. And Robin was brave and bright, no matter how scary Batman was.

“You do not wander off.”

So Tim cocked his head. “Oh, you want to come, too? I’m sure that’ll make Ms…” he looked at the woman curiously.

“Emma,” she supplied.

“Ms. Emma feel even safer. Are the cops on their way for these three jerks?”

Batman grunted and Tim’s grin grew.

In a stage whisper, he told Emma, “That’s Batman’s ‘yes’ grunt. Let’s go. These three will hold until the police get here.”

Emma laughed and led the way down the street. “I’m gonna be the safest person in Gotham, then. Thanks, Robin, Batman.”

“So, Ms. Emma, do you work at the hospital nearby?”

“Yep. I’m a night shift nurse. Usually I drive to and from, but my car’s in the shop. And I’m only a twenty minute walk from work. Thought I could risk it for one day.”

Tim nodded. “That’s how they get you.”

Emma laughed and ruffled his hair. “You’re absolutely right. I’ll just wait until one of my coworkers can give me a ride home tomorrow.”

“How much longer until your car is ready?”

Emma sighed. “I don’t get paid until Friday. Then I can authorize the work to start.”

Tim hummed in sympathy, but was already making plans to track down Emma’s name and figure out which mechanic she used. Surely it’d make sense for Robin and Batman to pay her bill after helping her out. And a bit extra to move it to the top of the line.

Tim asked Emma about her work and she regaled him with stories from a Gotham ER for the rest of the walk. Bruce stalked silently behind them.

When Emma stopped in front of an apartment complex, she turned to face Tim. “Thanks for walking me home, Robin.”

“Anytime, Ms. Emma.”

She leaned down and hugged him tightly. Tim’s eyes widened in shock at the sudden warmth. His heart beat hard in his chest and he could feel every point of contact like it burned. Just as he realized he should lift his arms and hug her back, though, she was pulling away.

“Good night, Robin! And you, Batman.”

Bruce just grunted, and Tim wanted to roll his eyes. “Good night to you, too. Stay safe!”

“I will, thanks to you.” She waved as she unlocked the door and disappeared inside.

“Batmobile, now.”

Tim bit back a sigh. “Of course, Batman,” he said. He didn’t bother pretending to be cheerful now that they didn’t have an audience.

Bruce spun and shot his grappling hook, swinging away. Tim followed on his heels. Tim knew he was in for a scolding, but didn’t dare dally on the trip over.

When he got to the alley, Bruce was waiting next to the driver’s side door. He grunted and gestured for Tim to get in.

Tim’s hand didn’t shake as he opened the door, but his stomach felt like lead, and he knew it was only long practice at hiding his nerves that kept it steady. Bruce slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out.

Even with his gloves on, Tim could tell Bruce was gripping the steering wheel as tightly as possible. And his jaw was clenched shut in displeasure. Tim bit his lip, unable to break the silence that settled in the car.

Silence that stretched for long minutes. Tim began to hope he’d be able to avoid the lecture he knew was brewing.

Then Bruce opened his mouth. “What was that?” His voice was cold and hard.

“What? Saving a woman?” Tim pretended he wasn’t shaking inside.

Bruce practically growled at him. “You disappeared!”

Tim kept his back straight and kept his eyes trained on the road ahead. He would not react to the anger directed his way. Keep it straightforward and factual, like giving a report. “A woman was being harassed by three men. They didn’t even have a gun and you were a block and a half ahead already. I knew it’d be a quick intervention so I intervened.”

“You do not go off on your own, ever.”

“I had it handled, Batman—”

“I don’t care! You always ask for backup before entering into combat situations. What if one of them had a hidden gun?”

“I know how to fight against opponents with firearms.” Tim kept his voice steady no matter how much he wanted to shout back.

“You can’t keep running off, Jason!”

Both of them froze. Tim stared straight ahead, every muscle tense, just waiting for Bruce to say something else. The buildings raced past them as they rapidly approached the end of the street.

Only Bruce didn’t hit the breaks. And the building across the street was getting closer.

“Watch the road!” screamed Tim.

Bruce cursed and jerked the wheel, just barely managing to follow the turn of the road rather than slam into the building. Tim had to his arm to keep from banging his head against the side window as his seatbelt dug into his chest.

Once they were back on the road and traveling at a more reasonable speed, Bruce spoke again. “Tim—”

“Don’t.” Tim gripped his uniform over his heart. His throat was tight and his eyes burned and he couldn’t get that damn song out of his head. He wanted to collapse forward, rest his head between his knees and just breathe, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the road, terrified Bruce would get distracted again. “Just. Don’t.”

For once, Bruce listened. The rest of the ride to the cave passed in silence.

The moment the car pulled to a stop, Tim was out the door. He stomped over to the changing area and began stripping out of his uniform. He needed it off.

“Master Tim? Are you all right?”

“Fine, Alfred,” said Tim.

“What happened? Do I need to check you for injuries? Or Master Bruce?”

Tim grit his teeth, but shook his head. “We’re both just peachy.” Tim ripped off his under layer, stripping down to his boxers. “See?” He spun so Alfred could see he had no new injuries.

Alfred’s eyes narrowed as he took in Tim’s body. “Very well,” he said after a pause.

Tim grabbed a mostly clean shirt and pair of jeans from his locker and pulled them on. “I’m going home now.”

“Let me prepare you a small after patrol snack before you do,” said Alfred.

“Not hungry.” Tim’s stomach was still in knots. He could see the brick wall getting closer through the windshield and feel the jerk as Bruce had to turn too hard to keep them from crashing.

Alfred opened his mouth, but closed it again with a sigh and nodded. “Very well, Master Tim. Thank you for joining us for dinner tonight.”

Tim nodded his acknowledgment, though he regretted ever agreeing, and grabbed his skateboard out of his locker. He’d changed so quickly that Bruce was only now approaching the changing area himself. Tim straightened his back and looked Bruce in the eyes. “I will report to the cave at twenty-two hundred hours for tomorrow’s patrol.”

Then, before Bruce could do more than nod, he tossed down his board and jumped on. Twenty minutes later, he was in his own room at Drake manor and climbing into a shower, heat turned up so high it was almost scalding.

It still didn’t make him feel as warm as a stranger’s hug.

And finally, in the privacy of his own house, with three locked doors between himself and the world, Tim collapsed to his knees and cried.

---

Alex was waiting for him when he got off the bus at school the next morning.

“Hey, Tim! Have you made your decision yet?”

And Tim thought about leaving school and going back to an empty mansion with his parents who-knows-where or to Wayne Manor and another awkward dinner.

He opened his mouth to say he couldn’t, that he was too busy.

“Sure, Alex. I’d love to.”

-----

And that's chapter 1! Hope you enjoy!

Totally look up some of the songs from Next to Normal. They hit hard. Especially when imposed on the bats.

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 39: Heavy Clouds

Chapter Word Count: 5,247

TW

(Spoilers but PLEASE) Decently graphic descriptions of TORTURE (not limited to: knives involved, electrocution, strangling, claustrophobia) Bringing up Mouse's trauma. Chapter…12 is brought up, I'm sorry Mingyu Mouse fights back a little

Author's Note:

I am....sorry not sorry for this. Nothing bad ever happens in BSH. I'm going to hide now :D Thanks to @pinkskiddo for being my beta reader and hating me every step of the way!

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Pacing, that was what Jeonghan has been going for the last three. Fucking. Hours. 

He started in the office upstairs after the meeting with the group, aimlessly walking around past whoever was left. A majority of their allies had gone out to search while he and Seokmin were ordered to stay behind. Quickly he got bored of the same four walls and made his way downstairs, walking around the outer wall of the warehouse floor. His nail beds were picked and bitten from his anxiety, every single worse case scenario running through his head in his worry. 

I need to get out of here. He told himself, moving to nip and pull at the skin of his lips. 

It was probably easy to slip out unnoticed from the warehouse. The one major thing he had to worry about was running into any of SVT, specifically Seungcheol. Standing near the foot of the stairs, face twisted in thought, Jeonghan had two ideas running in his head. 

One, as he thought earlier, he could walk out the doors and one could stop him. Definitely one of the perks of being a boss within SVT. 

Two, he gets someone upstairs to go with him. Siyeon was still up there with Wonwoo and Yeosang, hoping to find a glimpse of Mouse anywhere within the city. Sona…Yeah he didn’t know where she was. Once she showed up and got orders, he hadn’t seen her. There was also the fact that Seokmin was sulking upstairs, quietly boiling in guilt and anger. 

Scanning the nearly empty warehouse floor, Jeonghan made up his mind and hurried up the stairs. He popped his head into the office and called for Seokmin to talk in private for a moment. The other looked confused yet still left the office. 

Closing the door firmly behind Seokmin, Jeonghan grabbed his arm and dragged him down the stairs. “Hurry up, we need to get to the store room.” 

“What-”

“Do you want to go find Mouse or not?” Glaring over his shoulder to Seokmin, he released the other’s arm while he nodded. “Then grab a gun and let's get out of here before anyone realizes we are gone. Leave your phone here so no one can track us. 

Making their way into the store room, Jeonghan tossed his phone on a random table and went for the gun wall. He grabbed a double holster that went over his shoulder, securing it tightly then loaded two light weight handguns into their slots. Seokmin did similarly, grabbing three extra gun magazines of bullets and handing some over to Jeonghan.

“We can head out the back and grab your car.” Jeonghan adjusted his jacket, one that was actually left at the warehouse, long with thick material to stay warm, making sure his weapons were hidden. 

Placing his phone on the table, Seokmin nodded, grabbing a knife and a flashlight as well. “Okay, let’s go.” 

Peeking out of the room, Jeonghan made his way to the back door with Seokmin. He still couldn’t find Sona as he walked quickly but no one upstairs could see them from the area they walked. He sighed a shallow breath when they made it out without anyone spotting them. He didn’t know why he was so worried though. He was a leader of the group, but…Seungcheol’s words were more law in actuality. Everyone still answered to him. 

They successfully got within a few hundred feet of Seokmin’s car, eager to get on the road, but Sona came into view, stepping out from behind the vehicle. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stepped forward, leaning herself against the driver’s side door. 

“Mind telling me where you’re going?” She tilted her head, drumming her fingers on her arms. 

“Out,” Was all Jeonghan answered, sliding his hands into his pockets. “If you will excuse us, Sona, we have someone to find.” 

“Thought King said to stay put.” She didn’t look impressed at all. 

“Sona, do not patronize me right now-” 

“Kinda hard to leave when Tempest forgot his keys.” She raised said set of keys up, clicking her tongue. “I’m driving. Boss man ordered me to stay back as well.” 

“No-” 

“Do you want to run into King? I know which district he took with some of the guys.” 

Sona unlocked the doors, sliding into the driver’s seat with ease. Jeonghan took the passenger side and Seokmin grumbled that he was in the backseat of his own car. 

“By the way, you guys aren’t as slick as you think.” 

“Yeah yeah, shut up. Now help me find Mouse and I’ll raise your salary.” 

“On it, boss.”

You were unsure of how long you had been standing in the dark. 

Nightmare , as you had come to learn your torturer’s name, was true to his word, not wanting to waste any time. 

After the cut to your cheek, his actions only started to ramp up. You went from sitting in the old metal chair to standing with your bound hands above your head, connected to a hook keeping you upright. Your feet barely touched the floor on your tiptoes and the rope continued to dig harshly into your wrists until they started to bleed. Joker had one of their underlings get another bucket of water and threw it on you again. 

The shivering that you couldn’t control had used so much of your energy to stay warm but it did nothing to help. Dickhead, as you called Nightmare going forward, got an electric powered generator and jumper cables with wet sponges clamped to them. With you standing, he slashed your shirt off with the pocket knife from earlier, the blade catching on your skin and leaving a cut to your stomach. You groaned in pain, jaw clenched tightly to the point you thought your teeth might chip. 

“You’ve got quite the history here.” Joker started, sitting down in the chair you were in previously. He crossed his legs and leaned back, obnoxiously if you might add, and raised a brow at the information in hand.

You didn’t give him an answer, breathing deeply through your nose and watching him past your eyelashes. He flipped through some papers, an annoying hum floating its way across the room from him. Dickhead stepped closer, cable tongs in hand with what you assumed was rubber gloves covering up to his forearms. 

“It wasn’t easy to find some of this information,” He started, stopping on one particular page. “Y/N L/N. Your records have a lot of redactions too.” 

The scoff you let out was followed by a huff, trying to adjust your wrists to relieve some pressure but your footing was hard to find, making it hard to find any comfort or relief. 

“And somehow you went from a normal person with a tragic past to getting all tangled up in SVT, didn’t you? How did you manage to do that?” Joker narrowed his eyes when you didn’t answer. “I asked you a question.” 

Dickhead jabbed the wet sponge against your base side, holding it there. The muscles in that area tensed up and the painful vibration of electricity shot through your system. You let out a cry of pain that had your breath catching in your throat, unable to move away from it to escape the pain.

“Will you answer me?” He asked over your shouts, apathetic to the situation. “Anything?” 

“Fuck off!” You yelled, thrashing until Joker gave a signal for his companion to stop. An angered roar left you, quickly taking in air to fill your burning lungs. 

Shaking his head, Joker clicked his tongue like a disappointed parent, a long sigh leaving him. “Oh, Mouse, so far we have been so kind to you, haven’t we, Nightmare?” 

“Very.” Once more, the sponge was pressed into your side with the second joining the other side.

The entirety of your body tensed up. You screamed loudly, muscles twitching and seizing. The moment the cables were removed, you fell limp, unable to hold yourself up. The pain in your wrists felt welcoming compared to the numbness and weakness that washed through you. There was a faint tingling where you were shocked, the unstable racing of your heart beating out of your chest and up into your throat. 

Tears welled up in your eyes as your head hung down. Dizziness swirled your vision, the floor and walls felt like it was moving in a million different directions. The ache in your side stung when you managed to shift but you didn’t give them the satisfaction of hearing you weep. 

They exchanged a few hushed words before you were left alone, the lights flicking off. Left in complete darkness, you allowed yourself a moment of reprieve, hoping to be prepared for whatever they inflicted upon you next. 

All you heard from the last however long was the mind numbing dripping of water from that leaky pipe. Your throat was dry and every breath felt like sandpaper, scratchy and irritated. The room was freezing, on top of being doused twice previously in water and your energy was rock bottom. 

“You’ll be okay, Mouse.” You whispered into the blank space. “You have to be okay. They won’t kill you. They can’t. It isn’t their endgame.” 

Your eyelids felt heavy, threatening to close as the exhaustion took over. You had little to no feeling in your arms from them being raised for so long, pins and needles stinging the nerves in your upper limbs. The headache transitioned long ago into a migraine, and the pain at your waist continued to tingle and sting in the chilled air. 

While you should have been worried for yourself, you couldn’t stop yourself from worrying about everyone else. 

Was Seokmin okay after finding out you had been taken? How were Jeonghan and Joshua holding up? Had any of them got any rest? Were they eating at all? How were the rest of the groups holding up? Were they close to finding you? 

You craved the safety of being around them. Their presence was what held you together when everything went wrong and right now you were alone, holding onto hope. There were cracks in the foundation of your stability. Mentally you could hold it together longer, but you were concerned of how long that hold out would be. Physically…that troubled you more, already feeling sluggish. If they came in and unhooked you, there would be no stopping you from crumbling to the floor.

Letting your eyes shut, you took in slow breaths, grounding yourself to the reality of the situation weighing down on you. 

“Have you thought about what your future would have been if you hadn’t met us?” Joshua ran his hand up and down your spine, laying on the couch in your apartment, a calm weekday night. 

You laughed, nodding your head. “At first, yeah, but not for a little bit now. I had this decent life plan the moment I left college, like one of those dreams that manifest from watching too many rom-com movies.” 

Joshua joined in your laughter, resting his cheek over the top of your head. “Tell me about it, please?” 

“When I first moved into my old apartment, I told myself three things.” You thought back, unable to stop the giggle from bubbling out. “First, I wanted to steadily climb the ladder at work to live a comfortable life where I didn’t need to worry too much about money.” 

“Got it, so you kinda have that with us.” Wrapping both arms around you, Joshua placed a kiss on your forehead. “Minus the work ladder thing, of course. Sounds boring.”

“Second…my plan was to find myself a significant other after I had the stability I craved. I remember wanting the stupid suburb house with the stupid little white fence.” You rested your chin on his chest, seeing him try not to laugh. It did sound a little dumb. “Number three…” 

Noticing your hesitation, Joshua raised a brow, pouting a little. “Number three?” 

Pushing yourself up, you straddled his hips, smiling to yourself as you shook your head. “I wanted to get married one day… Give myself a life I didn’t know I wanted until I was mostly free of my past. I…wanted a family too so I could be the parent mine weren’t to me.” 

Joshua stared up at you, wide eyed but a glimmer of fondness shining. He gazed over your face, placing his hands gently on your hips before that loving, familiar smile spread on his lips. He scoffed but his grin continued to grow wider until he couldn’t any further. 

“What?” 

“Now that you are here with us, what do you think now?” 

Reaching out, you pushed some hair back from his face and cupped his cheeks. “Well, I kinda have one and I pretty much have the second one, times two.” 

“And number three?” Leaning up on his elbows, he tilted his head to the side. 

“Hm…” You smirked, biting your lip to hold in your snicker. “You’ll have to fight Jeonghan for that one…Maybe even Seungcheol.” 

“Ew, gag.” Joshua fake gagged and you fell forward onto him, wheezing out a laugh.

“Need to spend less time with Seungkwan and Mingyu, babe.” 

—

“Y/N?” Your head snapped up to the sound of Jongho’s voice from behind you. Just as you had much earlier in the night, you watched as he crawled out the window to join you on the roof, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and another one in hand. “It’s freezing out here, dude.” 

“If it’s so cold, you didn’t have to join me. You know I don’t mind sitting out here.” You took the blanket he offered either way, letting him settle close to your side. “Can’t sleep?” 

“Not really. I tried for a while but I kept tossing and turning.” He tucked his knees in towards his chest, pulling the blanket tighter around his shoulders. There was a dark bruise already blooming on his cheek. You grabbed his chin and turned his face towards you to see it better. “I didn’t wash the dishes right so he hit me.” 

You didn’t hesitate to throw your arm over his shoulder and pulled him close. He, though typically adverse to affection, leaned his head on your shoulder. You could feel his posture slump and a sigh puffed out in the cold air. 

“I’m sorry, hun.” You rested your cheek against the top of his head, “I’m gonna get us out of here, promise.” 

“How do you think you’ll do that?” 

“Your pick; bottle rocket, sugar in the gas tank, vegetable oil in the engine, or calling child services.” You were glad to hear his giggle, a big grin on his face. “Or I could do all over them at once and really fuck them over.” 

“Bottle rocket in the exhaust pipe?” He suggested and you laughed quietly, not wanting to wake your foster parents. 

“I can definitely start there. It will take some time to get it since I got to be sneaky.” Ruffling his hair, you sighed, leaning your head back to stare up at the sky. “We’ll be okay, Jongho.” 

“What if they separate us?”  He sounded worried. “What then?” 

“Then…” You tried to think of the best thing to say at the moment. “Then you face the world with your head held high and remember that you are a smart kid. You make sure you keep your grades up so you get into a good college to be successful in the future.” 

“Do you think I’ll ever see you again?” Jongho lifted his head from your shoulder, wide eyes staring back with worry. 

“Yeah, you will definitely see me in the future.” Internally you weren’t so confident but you pinched his cheeks, seeing him cringe and swat your hands away. “I’ll make sure we see each other in the future. And I sure as hell hope fate helps with that.” 

“I’m gonna miss you, Y/N.” 

“I’m gonna miss you too, Jongho.” 

They had been out searching for hours . 

Joshua’s skin was crawling with well hidden anxiety but Seungcheol was fuming every step of the way. While he attempted to keep a level head, Cheol wasn’t hesitating to tear things apart as time went on. The leader would enter a space with authority and at the drop of a hat would have him and their men that they brought along trashing a space before moving on when Mouse wasn’t found. 

“It’s been hours, how has no one found any signs of her?!” For the first time, Seungcheol vocalized his anger, standing in the most recent drug den they raided. 

Joshua ran a hand through his already tousled and knotted hair, sighing for the hundredth time within the last two hours. Leaning himself against a half broken table after checking its stability, he placed his hands on his knees, taking a few deep breaths. Cheol’s anger was palpable and it was starting to get to Joshua and pull at his last string of resolve.

“We have hundreds searching the city, we’ve been searching. It would be a good idea if we branch out from the city and look at surrounding areas.” Joshua heaved out the suggestion, throwing a hand up in thought. “I don’t know where else we can look around here, Cheol.” 

Seungcheol pulled his phone out and made a call to Wonwoo, asking him to contact half their help to expand their search further out. Joshua watched as his friend paced, pulling at his hair, shaking with unraveled concern and frustration. 

“What do you mean Seokmin and Jeonghan are gone?” He stopped his pacing, confused as his eyebrows furrowed together. “Where-? Huh? With? Okay…Fuckers…Just, tell them not to be fucking idiots and that Sona is in charge of them- Yeah, just keep me updated on anything you guys find and I’ll keep you updated here.” 

As he hung up, Joshua scoffed, shaking his head. “What did you expect them to do? Listen in a situation like this?” 

“No but- I don’t know- At least they have one person with them…” Seungcheol grumbled, still fuming down at his phone. “We are going on hour seven and nothing. How does someone simply disappear without a trace?” 

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Joshua let his eyes well with tears, jaw clenched uncomfortably tight. He dropped his head, raising a hand to rub and message at the back of his neck. His shoulder, neck, and back were tense, moving wasn’t the best idea but he was running on waning adrenaline, maybe a coffee from the morning, and anxiety. The necklace Mouse had given him for Christmas rested heavy around his neck as he felt the metal against his hand. Joshua let himself trace the chain and brought it to his lips, gently kissing the pendent. 

They were going to find Mouse, he had been chanting it every building they entered into and tore top to bottom. No figurative stone was going to go unturned but he worried for the state she’d be in once they got her home. While he knew Mouse was strong and could withstand a decent amount, what were the people that took her submitting to her to? Was she holding onto hope like they were trying to? It was getting difficult to keep his head on straight. 

Cheol rested himself against the broken desk beside Joshua, shoulders slumping. “I’m starting to think like Han, Shua.” 

“Yah,” Joshua’s head shot up, barely holding back the tears that threatened to fall. “Don’t you start with that shit either. Come on, man.” 

“I-” Cheol paused, raising his hands to his face and sniffling, which caught Joshua off guard. “Fuck, man. I can’t fall apart right now.” 

“Do not-” Joshua shuttered, unable to keep his voice stable. He let the tears he was holding in slip down his cheeks. 

Seungcheol threw an arm over Joshua’s shoulder and tugged him into his side. Though quiet, they cried in relative silence, letting the stress of the situation take hold of their emotions. The grip on Joshua’s shoulders was tight as Cheol muttered something he couldn’t make out, maybe a prayer, grounding the two of them to reality. Neither of them heard the footsteps approach but a voice caught their attention. 

“ King, Hades ?” There was hesitation in their crew member’s voice, a nervous shift to his gaze. “We- Uh…The entire place is fully clear, even the underground sections. Whenever you are, we are all ready to move out again.” 

Almost instantly, Joshua straightened up, wiping his face and stood. “We’ll meet you out at the cars, clear out.” 

Once he stepped out and walked away, Cheol sighed.

“I don’t think she is strong enough like the rest of us, she probably can’t withstand anything they might do to her.” Seungcheol ran both hands over his face, collecting his emotions as he stood, shaking his head. 

“Hey, man, don’t underestimate my girlfriend.” Joshua’s attempt at a joke was met with a roll of the leader’s eyes. He brought the pendant on his lips again, saying a silent prayer for her safety. “She will be okay. Mouse is a fighter. I’m sure she is giving whoever took her a run for their money.”

“I hope you are right on this one.”

“All you have to do is answer the question, Y/N…” 

“And like I keep saying,” You spit out a decent amount of blood, thrashing despite your arms still being hung above your head, “Sit on a cactus, suck a dick, and choke on it.” 

Beside you, Dickhead clicked his tongue, ready to aim another punch to your side. It would make for the tenth punch or kick he had landed as far as you counted. Both sides of your abdomen and the left side of your face hurt like hell. You didn’t even want to imagine how you looked…Hell, you were having difficulty keeping your left eye open from the hits to your face. Joker stopped him though, standing up and strolling over towards you slowly, shaking his head. 

“You know,” He took a knife from the other man’s belt and unsheathed it. “You are holding on much longer than any of us expected. Here I thought you'd break a long time ago, but here we are… Is it the trauma from finding your parents dead from an OD?” 

You swallowed thickly and tried not to say anything to his inquiry, needing to breathe through your mouth from how bad your face and nose felt. With the knife in hand, biting down on the inside of your cheek, unsure of his reactions in comparison to his counterpart seeing as he only asked questions so far. 

“Or…was it when you snuck into that building and saw SVT?” 

You stopped breathing, snapping your mouth shut. 

How fucking long had they been watching you? 

“You saw, what? Two people get shot?” He started to circle your hanging form like you were prey, toying with the knife. “Or…was it when Mingyu was shot?” 

That…yeah, that struck a cord inside that had you snarling at him. “Keep his name out of your mouth, pig!” 

“Oh~” He chuckled lowly, tilting his head to the side. “Protective, aren’t we?” 

Joker leaned close, using the knife to brush your hair back. “Would you like to know a secret?” 

When you gave no reaction, he brought his lips close to your ear. “We gave the order to shoot first.” 

If you were an old cartoon character, steam would be blowing out your ears comically. 

You pulled your head away from him before quickly slamming the side of your head into his face. There was the telltale, unmistakable cracking sound and he yelled out at the unexpected pain. Your head spun from the nonstop migraine you’ve had pounding since you first woke up, yet the pain was welcoming compared to their treatment. Your cheek and eye area were pulsing, definitely swollen, along with the pain in your side from the electrocution. Dickhead was having fun using you as a punching bag when you didn’t answer Joker . 

“You…are going to regret that.” Joker got into your field of vision properly, eyes full of rage. 

His nose was broken if the cracking of bone wasn’t enough, slightly tilted to the side, crooked. Blood trailed down from his nostrils and into his mouth, making him spit off to the side. 

Harshly, his hands jutted out and wrapped around your neck, sneezing and cutting off your air flow. You gasped for air, struggling against your confines and swinging your legs out to get him away but it was useless. His grip tightened and the longer he strangled you, the more your vision started to get hazy around the edges. The moment your eyes started to roll back, on the verge of passing out, and your thrashing became sluggish, Joker released his hold. 

The rush of air that filled your lungs was enough to make you go limp. Your head was light in the worst way and your extremities were shaky. Blood rushing through your ears hindered you from hearing their conversation, not that there was a care to give other than breathing. You did notice one of them move before the chain holding the hook up was loosened and your body crumbled unceremoniously to the floor. 

Your bound wrists were grabbed as someone dragged you across the ground, the half broken ceiling lights fading in and out of your clouded vision. There was barely any energy left to struggle, too lethargic and woozy to figure out what they were doing with you. Whoever was dragging you dropped your arms and another pair of hands were tying your legs together.

You tried to focus your eyes on one of the men in the room, their words murky and distant but quickly stopped to save your strength. The light above that stared down at you was blocked by Kihyun’s big fucking head and his ugly ass smirk. He said something you couldn’t hear so you didn’t provide a response, only for a swift kick to land against the side of your abdomen and the pain had you curling in on yourself. From the feeling alone, you had a good handful of broken ribs, at least you were feeling something at this point. 

A few sets of hands grabbed you next, hauling you up from the cold ground and carrying you somewhere. You were dead weight in their arms but they didn’t seem to struggle, being tossed in a crate or box. Furrowing your brows together, you let your good eye flit around, confusion flooding your mind. 

“Wait-” The moment everything clicked, you cleared your throat, rough and frail from Joker’s strangling. Two unknown men went to close the top and you attempted to set up, shaking your head quickly. 

“Wait no-” Someone’s hand forcibly pushed you down and the box was closed and locked shut. You beat your hands against the top, darkness shrouding you. “Let me out!” 

The words had no force behind them, weak screams only bouncing off the walls of your confines. Continuously, you beat your restrained hands and feet against the top and sides as the panic rose in your chest. There wasn’t a way to calm yourself, breathing coming out in short, sobbing gasps. At some point you couldn’t make out any of the words you desperately tried to babble out. You hopelessly dropped your limbs, praying your eyes adjusted to the limited light soon. 

You couldn’t shift comfortably – or at all –, knees bent up with no way to straighten out. The only soothing thing was the cool metal against your barely clothed back, which gave you an answer of what kind of box you were in. The anxiety of being locked in used up the rest of your energy, your throat and sides hurt horrible, and your waning brain power struggled to take in the situation Monsta X placed you in. 

As your eyes adjusted, you noticed the decent sized air holes from what you could tell, but they were near your feet so you couldn’t look out and investigate around. Any attempt to focus on hearing anything came up short, your ears hadn’t stopped ringing. Raising your wrists enough to see them, you determined there was no chance to get free, not even your legs with how small the space was. 

Leaning your head back with a soft thunk, you took the pain radiating through your body as a sign that you weren’t dead . You’d grasp tightly on that fact to keep you going until you were home, however long that could be. You weren’t sure how much more your body could take. Nightmare didn’t pull a single punch or kick, he was uncaring with slashing, and the eclectic shocks had your heart all over the place. Now, in the metal box, you couldn’t even begin to imagine what they were going to hurt you with next. 

You didn’t realize you passed out until a loud, rattling bang jolted you awake. The entire box shook violently and you shrieked in terror at the suddenness of it. Your body shook, tensing up in anticipation of another hit to come. 

The knowing feeling of a looming panic attack built up quickly, fully triggered when hit after hit beat down against the metal. Whatever items they were beating your confines with was making a deafening, metal on metal sound. It reverberated off the walls, never letting up, and you struggled to breath through your (justified) hysteria. No amount of screaming or pleading was going to stop their task of your torture and their entertainment. 

You knew it probably wasn’t long yet it felt like it went on for hours. With your back fully against the bottom, you felt every single vibration like it shocked your system. It hurt even if it wasn’t hitting you directly. You could make out the edges of the box denting from certain hits, making the already small space smaller the longer it went on. 

With your hands bound, you weren’t even about to cover your ears to block out some of the sound. 

“Make it stop!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, hearing your voice echoing in your ears, kicking at the sides the best you could. 

It didn’t stop, tears were streaming down your face as you wailed helplessly. Trembling was the only thing you could do besides pray for relief. 

You could feel yourself beginning to slip into a dissociative state, maybe from self preservation. The banging was starting to sound far off in the distance, out of body the longer it went on. The last time you really had a dissociative episode was in the shower after Mingyu was shot. You could remember the metallic smell of blood, similar to the inside of the box that surrounded you. There was that nauseating feeling in the pit of your stomach like you were falling out of the sky. The air around you was stuffy, your breathing was shallow the more you disconnected from reality. 

If the hits stopped, you weren’t able to tell. The repeated sound replayed in your head in time with the beating of your heart. Any pain you felt was pins and needles, or washing over with numbness, mind and body attempted to regulate their functions to protect you, if your body could protect you.

Tag List is Open! Comment on the BSH Master List to get added!

Tag List:

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[gabessquishytum]

I am so full of ideas!! Spamming you relentlessly!! 🥰

Hob is immortal and when he was born, there were no secondary sex characteristics. The "Great Cataclysm" happened half a century or so before the Sleeping Sickness, causing most everyone to gain secondary sex characteristics - Alpha, Beta, Omega. But well, immorals heal from every injury,,,, so you know, Hob didn't change. No secondary sex characteristic for him.

Hiding as a Beta wasn't easy, but part of the reason Hob thought (hoped) to offer friendship to his Stranger, was he didn't seem to have secondary sex characteristics either - Hob & his stranger were more a like than they were different, even for all Hob didn’t know of his friend.

The whole Great Cataclysm thing had a cause that no one could figure out, and within the next 100 years or so, true mating got added to the mix (fun times watching true mates lose all awareness and go at each other in public). But it actually wasn't that the Great Cataclysm didn’t effect Hob, it was just that it took about 200 years for his body to stop fighting the change - huh, the Great Cataclysm was environmental 🤷🏽‍♀️.

And it wasn't that Dream didn’t have secondary characteristics -- he appears as he does to the world as he needs to, King of Cats, Prince of Stories (and let's be honest, True Mates is a great story 😉). His time in his cage weaken his control, and by the time he gets to the New Inn, things are ripe for a viral tik tok.

Dream walks into that pub, walks up to that table, and [finally presenting] Alpha!Hob takes a breath, smells home, and grabs on to his Omega!Dream and works on getting arrested (even with all the laws protecting people when this happens; or at least getting the inn shut down for a few days for a deep cleaning and a fine). 'You're late' hits different growled against a neck.

True Mates indeed.

Ohohoho I'm obsessed with the idea of the "You're late." Being growled against Dream’s throat by a very horny, very much overloaded by hormones, very alpha Hob.

Naturally the entire pub is looking their way. Hob hires good people to work there so at least a couple of staff members are ready to rip Hob off Dream if necessary. But Dream shows no signs of distress. In fact he allows himself to be scooped up and held, already able to feel the thick length of Hob’s cock straining through his jeans. Dream gets deposited onto the table and then Hob is on him properly; scenting him, licking him, nosing at his glands to try and discern why his true mate has this lingering scent of hurt and anger. Hob will kill whoever made his beautiful mate feel like that but right now he needs to make Dream feel better. So he nuzzles and kisses him, and releases the sweetest alpha pheromones until Dream smells deliciously horny and much more content.

By this point the pub has been evacuated - the authorities will no doubt come by later to give Hob a slap on the wrist. So no one is there to see Dream of the Endless as he mewls and wraps his legs around Hob’s waist. They're both grinding on each other and so horny that that frantic rutting feels like the best thing in the entire universe. Later Hob will be embarrassed that he didn't even make sure that Dream had cum or anything like that, but there was no need. Dream was squirting and drooling over and over inside his own jeans, so much that a small puddle developed underneath him.

They eventually make it upstairs (after stopping half way to rut and writhe against each other on the staircase), where Dream spends the next 24 hours in a state of bliss. It really is a beautiful story, and he's totally wrapped up in it. Being Hob’s true mate feels like an identity he can actually hang onto. It isn't overshadowed by his captivity - it's something new that belongs entirely to him.

By the time he and Hob have somewhat returned to their right minds, Dream decides that an alpha of his own might very well fit the gaping hole he's been feeling inside his being ever since... well, forever. Can't hurt to try, right? Death will be proud of him.

[physalian]

The Woes of Formatting

I am… 22 hours into formatting ENNS for print (now ebook) and am making this post for posterity’s sake to say: Formatting is so. Tedious. I had to start over thanks to Amazon going “ha you didn’t set your margins properly,” and also some last-minute changes to the text. Yesterday (7/24/24) after a full day of work, I worked on Book from 2:30pm to 11:30pm. Today is probably going to be about the same.

My neck hurts from staring at my monitor, my pinkie hurts from the strain of holding a computer mouse in one position since 6am. I have forgotten to cook lunch and dinner, but I did have breakfast.

It doesn’t even feel real yet. I am exhausted. But you know what feels great? Eliminating widows and orphans on the pages to erase the page count only by one. If you don’t know, those are the little hanging words on the bottom line of a paragraph or the top of a page that can be resized to fit on the line above it.

Getting to the last page of the chapter and realizing there’s only 3 or 4 lines of text left eating up an entire piece of paper, and then scrolling back through the chapter like a madwoman to nudge other paragraphs around to eliminate that extra page… I was literally cheering in my room in satisfaction.

For the record it shouldn’t take you this long, but I wanted it to be pretty, and Amazon is incredibly precise with their formatting requirements down to 0.001inches. So I had to reformat the cover art, which took a while. Then I had to fix the margins at least 3 times until no more errors showed up. Then I had to reread the entire book for last-minute changes. Then I had to format the chapter header pages.

Before that, though, I had to make the art for the chapter header pages. And re-learn how to do all of the formatting on InDesign.

So here I am, 22 hours in, finally onto the ebook that will be done tonight goddamn. And I just want to say, if it’s within your power to do as much of the work yourself as you can, fucking do it.

I’d be losing my mind with stress if I was waiting for a cover artist to make adjustments whenever they deigned to find my order a priority. Or the person I’d be paying to format this book. Losing. My. Mind. Maybe after the ridiculous goose chase I have been on with editors for this book has completely murdered my faith in paid beta readers to do shit in a timely manner (ENNS' first draft was written in 31 days, it took from 2/25/24 to 6/10 for my tiny army of betas and the AWOL failed betas to deliver, then 6 weeks for the professional copy edit). Anyway.

Yeah it’s taken me a long ass time, on top of two full corporate-nonsense workdays, but the satisfaction I have felt hammering this project out isn’t comparable to paying someone to do it for me. I got the manuscript back from my copy editor and I wasn’t excited, I was like “I needed this 10 days ago thanks” (in my head) and then got right back to work. Copy editor is necessary, don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely necessary, but the catharsis that I have now was definitely absent then.

So. Yeah. This is rambly and I’m not sorry. Even after the ebook is up for preorder there’s still work to be done and money to be spent. But I’m forcing myself to take a break, pause, breathe, appreciate the work I have already done.

I am hours away from launching my first published novel. Hours.

It doesn’t feel real. August 25th, 2024, Eternal Night of the Northern Sky's official release date. Gahhhhhhh.

—

For anyone curious:

Cover was done in Photoshop (I have the Lightroom student package for $9.99/mo)

Formatting was done in InDesign (%#&%# $35.99/mo after 7 day trial choke on rocks, Adobe)

Formatting did not need to be done in ID, but other one-time fees were either more expensive when I can cancel my subscription after the month is up, or the free versions were too limited and constricting in their capabilities.

I’m far too nitpicky to not have complete creative freedom and control over my work, with all the hours I have put in. So Adobe it is.

Back to work!

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

A new work, Business Partners? by phoenixash234flames was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "starting the business"

You can read it here:

WEDDING WISHES LORE !!!!! Prismo, you drunk GOOBER (affectionate). I love seeing them together and being all kissy-kissy :]/hj. My little guys <3. Scarab is going to have an aneurysm from just how 'Prismo' Prismo is/lh.

Nirmata, by datwheatlyboi, was updated today, with 3/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, with additional tags "Post-Canon, Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burnm Character Study, Prohibitedwish is real, Action/Adventure, Detectives, Slow Romance, Adventure time but for gods"

You can read it here:

I'm excited for this one :] !! I love them both going :flushed: over each other's disguises; they're being so obvious and in PUBLIC/j. Prismo has never ever been outside the Time Cube, so it makes sense that he's filled with the whimsy and beauty of nature/j but. MY KING. THE FATE OF EXISTENCE IS DEPENDENT ON YOU. P;EASE. The bookshop scene made me so scared, the second-hand embarrassment was building up, but it was okay in the end <3

A new work, Roadtrip by heirozphant was published today, with 1/? Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Alternate Universe - Human, Road Trips, Slow Burn, Flirting, Awkward Flirting, Alternate Universe - Office, More tag to be added, How do ao3 tags work aah??"

You can read it here:

I LOVE ROADTRIP AUS THEY'RE MY FAVOURITE THIS IS MY FAVOURITE !!! I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE AAAAGH/pos. They're already being so sillay <3 around each other and now they gotta sit in a car together for hours >:]. And howell has to be stuck between them; what else is new/pos. Also, two pennies that they get pulled over when Prismo is driving/j.

Seraphyllic, by DrakianDH, was updated today, with 7/15 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and Graphic Depictions Of Violence and Major CHaracter Death, with the additional tags "scarab the god auditor - Freeform, prismo the wishmaster - Freeform, Priscrab, ProhibitedWish, Scrabby, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, no beta we get turned to legos like the lich, Adventure & Romance, Story within a Story, Eventual Happy Ending, Maybe - Freeform, Author Is Sleep Deprived, The Author Regrets Nothing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, You gotta work for the comfort, begining poem important, each chapter a word, prepare"

You can read it here:

Ao3 was glitching out with this one, but I think it's all good now !! I went back and reread the whole thing (which I do normally bcdhnfjv) and OH MY BOOOOOYS <3333/pos. They get to be so soft with each other :,]. I love them watching movies, they are definitely both studio ghibili fans, I can feel it in my bones.

wishes for bugs by VioletThePorama was updated today, with 12/12 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Enemies to Lovers, Sort Of, Enemies to Roommates, Workplace, Post-Canon, Prismo is lonely, Mentioned/implied Prismo/Jake, Saw that this was called Prohibitedwish, The funky artists on tumblr and twitter got me interested, in thinking about their stupid relationship, they haven't made many Fionna and Cake tags yet I can tell"

You can read it here:

wishes for bugs is over, and I don't know whether I should feel happy that I can reread it over and over or sad that there won't be any new content/lh/j. SCARAB GETS TO DO WISHES MY BOY GETS TO DO WISHES!!!!! THEY'RE SO HAPPY IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME CRY I LOVE THEM.

NSFW works are below the cut :].

Misery Loves Company, by othersin, was updated today, with 2/2 Chapters released! It has a rating of Mature and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Failed Relationships, I am partial to the idea of Scarab and Prismo being ex's, but how about an ill-advised rebound, some delicious angst, ProhibitedWish, References to Egyptian Mythology, DepressionGrief/Mourning, Not Healthy Relationships, Slow Burn, Falling In Love"

You can read it here:

Yes, hi, the boyfailures are back at it again/j. I like the use of Egyptian Gods in this fic, it's super creative and adds extra wondrous lore >:]<. Prismo trying to have a normal conversation with Ra while also being VERY INTIMATE with Scarab made me giggle. They're both so dumb <3/lh.

Silly Bug, by TJade, was updated today, with 5/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Genderbending, Domestic Fluff, Teasing, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suggestive Themes. Awkwardness, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkward Conversations, Communication, Healthy Relationships, Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Threesome, Frottage"

You can read it here:

THE YURI IS HERE !!! Priscilla is trying her best but it's hard when her brain keeps turning off/j. It's ok queen we still love you <3333/pos.

A new work, Wish Granted by Finn565 was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and No Archive Warnings Apply, with the additional tags "Porn With Plot, human!prismo, Scarab makes his wish, Alien Biology, Brat tamer Prismo is my favorite, cus hes just that cool of a guy, and secret bottom scarab is also my fav, Begging, Bottom Scarab, Top Prismo, Power Dynamics, Tentacles, hermaphrodite, Edging, Love Confessions, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Consent, Oral Sex, Their dynamic is just so tasty"

You can read it here:

This one was so nice and happy <3. Dom Prismo is always a win in my book ! And they TALKED I love it when they talk.

[hydralisk98]

Civ 5 CE vanilla Horus playthrough #1, first stage, after two sessions (-4000 BC to 1912 AD, then to 2020 AD)

Got some Civ 5 CE vanilla for you! I am still fixing the mods, maps, scenarios and savestates as to bring it to a beta release of my constructed world pipeline with samples.

But yep, my "alpha" release is 80% done as far as designing the first-order priority timelines go. And yet though I got to note down all the remaining details explicitly, I do have a quite detailed idea for the timeline derived from several sources, including alternate history, alternate futures, fantasy & sci-fi works and even actual OTL Earth things. Cool, eh?!

I reached actual doomsday year in Mayan calendar (2012 was without a certain key offset) of my first two/three sessions of gameplay. And still got sharp memory of most key occurrences.

Don't worry, there are a handful of screenshots, saves, maps and WIP notes to document that stage. No video recordings yet but that's fine, I simply got to connect my pipeline to my Devuan Linux x86_64 PC with some remote view program and recording such screencast into OBS Studio with proper fixes and all and I should be good for further play sessions. And that does include my Nth daring attempt at a "Endekrieg" challenge thing where I just own all of the map by the 2200 AD aka no other Civs, no City-States, no Barbarians, possibly minimal-istic use of nuclear weapons but idk I will see, depends of what I decide over Stellaris and enjoyable gameplay matters. (Synchronizing such with Stellaris in case I really want dive my toes in such a meta-campaign, but that's for later.)

Yes, I still got to convert and "clef"/"key" map chart elements from Civ 5 CE back to my timeline rendition of what I seek, including the geography, the religions, the technical progressions, the event chains and Azgaar stuff before going to a FreeCiv total conversion & QGIS w/ GeoPython. But suffice to say that I do have many elements figured out in both scripture, thought patterns and visual aesthetic components.

Sorry for the latency and little responsive-ness over the Mosi update thread process (I still got to update the 288x144 tiles [both hexagonal and square] maps to my world geography and design the ~twelve elements tileset), at least the cool Source map is now underway and I have a improving, fair enough balance between sleep, healthy habits & my creative pipelines. I kinda am still slow considering I don't sleep 6-8 hours at once, still got some (self-reflected) gender-related action to do and following up on my many things within my tasklists but I do feel great about what I got now and I am improving over what matters to me, sharing the relevant bytes left to you all people.

Thanks for sticking around, cya soon! ^*^//

[fakezircon]

Hey! Look at me, I’m a distraction! (GO MAX, ZIRCONPOST, GOGOGOGOGO)

Genuine question though, when did you start playing minecraft? What got you into the game initially?

Ooh a distraction! I'd better fully devote my attention to this!

The first time I played minecraft was on a computer in the basement of my grandmother's house on my cousin's account. It would've been a month or two before the beta 1.8 update because the version I played then did not have hunger. I just messed around a bit as it was more my cousin showing off the cool new game he found.

This got away from me so the rest is under the cut :)

Later my sister bought her own account, and while I don't think I ever played on her account I did watch her play and it made me want my own. Fun fact, the minecraft account I play on now is the very same one that my dad bought me back then, what would've been within a month of the beta 1.8 update releasing. (I know that for sure because with beta 1.8 came a slight price raise and my dad complained about the fact that mine and my brother's accounts had cost more than my sister's)

From there I played it pretty regularly although I was never really one for creative or singleplayer worlds, I would play on a LAN world with my dad and siblings all the time tho. I never got tired of vanilla but as my family did we would move on to playing big mod packs, things like FTB and Technic.

At the same time I was starting to watch a bit of mcyt although it was the early days stuff, people like sethbling and antvenom come to mind as channels I watched regularly. I got a taste for the technical side of things and shortly thereafter started teaching myself minecraft commands.

Fun fact #2: back before block ids were saved as strings they were saved as just a number and if you wanted to do anything with commands you had to know those numbers. There were lots of tables out there but after a while I started to get the hang of it on my own, I can still match a good number of blocks to their once upon a time numerical ID.

I don't know what specifically drew me to the game to start but playing it with my family certainly got me hooked and once they moved on from it the technical stuff was enough to keep me sticking around pretty much to this day. I was never much of a builder as a kid (something that is probably noticeable these days) and redstone was interesting to me only so far as seeing what others did with it. I did try my hand at redstone and was for a while the most proficient person at it I knew but I wouldn't say I ever mastered it and my skills with it are certainly rusty these days.

The thing I love most about the game now is probably the grind. I am so happy to just sit and do a repetitive completable task for hours, it's soothing. I also still like playing it with my friends and with my recent foray into Vault Hunters I am finding a love for modded minecraft that I don't think truly ever left.

[faction-art]

Image credit : Eksovichea Tito Hak

...whilst sat in an unconverted dusty dusty attic... the makeshift desktop setup.

Ableton Live 12 already on the verge of being rolled out?!!

I already dropped a stack on an Ableton 11 activation having used some form of pirated version with each new update and release of it since version 4 of Ableton live, and my Ableton laptop machine has been running infinitely smoother for it since with far less anomalous glitches (such as abnormally high CPU loads, erratic CPU load spikes, and fluctuations, entire project files going missing, at times even entire batches of project files, however, subtle modifications appear to be still happening to my projects when I come back to work on, or review saved projects that I'd made previously, even after only a few minutes to a few hours, which I guess are actually useful more than annoying this time round 🤔...but that's besides the point, since adding pressure variance to a laid down midi drum pattern/sequence is something I could have easily done myself). Thousands of projects later, the past 16 years of constant issues in some form with it has been quite, an ordeal when looking back having just thought about it properly just now.

I'm not running anything fancy hardware-wise, since its a second hand bought Dell Latitude 5491 running on an 8th generation Intel i7 8850H, and 16GB of RAM. Yeah, significantly well behind the 14th generation Intel curve, and most certainly well behind Apple's M1 for performance, let alone the vastly more capable M2, or M3! It's like a constant uphill struggle trying to streamline my Latitude 5491 machine, and keep it running smoothly, and fast, where I have to keep tweaking, and checking it constantly under the hood, which does make me seriously consider considering getting a Macbook Pro for the first time ever, which I've been trying to avoid doing doing to the insane cost of it. Additionally a fair number of the windows updates seem to constantly impact on system performance, and undo a lot of the performance improvement tweaks for my windows laptop DAW, which I don't have anything installed to other than Ableton live 11.

However word has it that version 12 of Ableton Live is imminent (which will no doubt probably be just in time for the release of windows 12 too), not but a month after myself finally personally getting a legit full version of Live 11 suite... Great 😵‍💫. Apparently it's got a bunch of new generative features for creating melodies, as well as some new interface tweaks, and some new colour scheme options. I doubt that I'll be personally moving over to 12, unless someone's willing to send me a copy of it, or I come into money, as it's still a wince inducing 700 to 750 quid for the full suite version when 12 finally lands. Since having used a legit version, of Ableton Live, I can't believe how much better it runs overall than the various pirated versions I've used, with far less project run issues, and at lower CPU loads too, I guess I'll see in the coming months if that remains constant, and hopefully it should fix all the screw ups, and project file anomalies on all my created, and saved projects that I'd encountered during the past 15 years too from here on out.

In any case aside from that, within the interim, anyone with a legit registered copy of version 9, 10, or 11 can sign up for the beta of 12 via the Ableton website, although acceptance for the Ableton live 12 beta testing program is an entirely different matter I guess.

I'd even suggest getting a pirated copy of 12 for testing if you can get a hold of one, although I wouldn't personally recommend doing all your serious work in it at this stage if you do. The only problem with doing that though is that Ableton tend to sneak in features in their new builds versions that do generally become indispensable once you incorporate it into you project/music creation workflow, which is why I won't be using 12 seriously until I have some means of actually running a full legit copy of 12 at this stage.

[cosmicspacewidow]

Finding A Home Chapter 2

Summary: After landing the role of a lifetime In the film Black Widow 2, Cade Jones goes to LA where he meets Scarlett Johansson and Elizabeth Olsen. During the summer they film the movie and Cade plays Scarlett's son but over time it's not acting anymore and Scarlett and Lizzie find the missing piece of their family, but not without a lot of bumps along the road. This story is set in a real world with real people mixed in with the MCU movies alternate universe that is also set in an omegaverse, so Alpha Beta and Omega dynamic as well as non-sexual age regression, abuse, and violence. This is a bad summery just give it a read if you want.

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson/ Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: 5,979

Chapter: 2/?? (36 chapters posted on AO3)

Chapter Trigger/Content Warnings: Mention of Abuse, Violence, Non-Sexual Age Regression, and Bullying.

Chapter Summary: Cade meets Scarlett and Lizzie at dinner and of course it doesn't go as he expects.

AO3 Chapter LINK

ENJOY

Chapter 2: Overcoming Obstacles A Step Towards Trust

Scarlett’s POV

The last couple of months had been probably one of the busiest months in Marvel history. Immediately after the release of Endgame, Marvel's stocks dropped over 45% in less than 12 hours. The entire Marvel fan base all across the world was protesting the ending of the movie. Nobody was happy about the deaths deemed necessary for the story. 

After finding out that Robert Downey Jr, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Evens, Paul Bettany, and I tried fighting Marvel very hard on not killing us off, it only enraged the fans even more. Marvel had not said anything about it until the ComicCon when they announced that The movie black widow was supposed to be released soon and it would be the last installment featuring The Black Widow. If people were mad about Endgame then this was nothing in comparison.

Disney's stock dropped again within 5 hours of the news, it was so bad of an overall loss for the company. Everyone at top levels was freaking out trying to figure out what to do. It was the next day when I got a call from my lawyer, Scott Harkin, and my management team urging me into an emergency meeting. 

In that meeting I was told that there were rumors of a second black widow in the works and the possibility of bringing the Natasha back from the dead. It was clear the new generation of viewers were coming into a realization of the power they had over these big tycoons like companies. My team and I came up with a contract and deal for what we were going to ask for if Marvel did end up coming to us. 

We were asking for better pay, benefits, safer set practices, more story and creative control on my part and no more than 12 hour days for everyone all terms including the full crew no exceptions. Before we could even leave the meeting my manager Claire had gotten a phone call from the executives at Marvel. They indeed wanted to start developing a second movie, and my team was firm on our terms and got every single one of them before signing on to another contract with the studio. 

Marvel was pushing this movie fast to bring back up their stocks and profit margins but it was  still a slow climb for them because fans were wary of the studio actually following through with the rumors of a new black widow movie. Marvel was just lucky to already have a script written years ago so it didn’t take long for production to get underway. There was some last minute casting decision but I'd been assured by Kevin Feige himself that this was going to an amazing cast and crew.

I was sitting around a large table that was filled with many people I'd like to call part of my family. There were a couple big wigs joining us tonight including Kevin Feige and the Russo brothers and the new director for the movie. Ben Canon or something like that. I'd never worked with him before and even requested the same director as the first movie, Cate Shortland, but there was a scheduling conflict Marvel wasn’t willing to work with. 

Other than that it was all people I’d call my pack Florence Pugh, Rachel Weiz, David Harbour, Ray Winston’s, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Evens, and Jeremy Renner. The main crew was all here except for our newest addition. I haven’t heard much about him other than he absolutely blew everyone away with his audition and fighting skills and really had a natural talent for acting. 

Kevin had explained to me that he was a great find and had said he was very unique and extremely shy and very new to the industry so I suggested we do a welcome dinner so he could meet everyone in a relaxed nature. 

We had all gotten settled at the table and we were all catching up with each other when the main door to the room opened and the host led a young teenager into the room. He looked nervous and I would have been too if a bunch of strangers were all staring at me like that. The moment was broken when Kevin stood up and made his way over to the boy.

“There you are! Everyone, this is Cadence Jones, he’ll be playing Anton Romanav, the son of Natasha.” Everyone said a chorus of hellos. The boy smiled and waved.

“Hi... you c-can just c-call me Cade.” He stuttered out quietly.

“Oh yea that’s right.” Kevin announced as he remembered something.

“Cade here has a bit of trouble speaking sometimes but I’ll tell you when you see him act you’d have no idea.” Kevin continued as he ushered the boy inside the room more to sit down. Each seat had a name place so his designated spot was in between me and Lizzie. I could tell Kevin's comment about him speaking embarrassed him by the way he looked down at the floor from the moment on. Once Kevin and Cade sat down the conversations at the table started back up so I turned to him and decided to properly introduce myself.

“Hi there, I’m Scarlett. It's nice to finally meet.” I said to him and he shyly smiled back at me and nodded as if he was saying likewise. 

“Oh my goodness aren’t you just adorable?” Lizzie said on the other side of him scrunching her nose up like she always did. I watched as Cade turned to her, blushing a little bit before ducking his head down in embarrassment. I gave her a look.

“What? He is?” She said with a shrug and a smile. Lizzie was the sweetest person ever. She was very soft and funny like a little puppy but when she needed to be it was like a switch flipped and a little pitbull would come out all bark no bite ultimately a sweetheart. 

“Babe, don't embarrass him like that.” I told her and she just laughed and shook her head.

“You’re right you play his mom it should be you to embarrass him right? I’m Lizzie Olsen by the way.” She teased and a small chuckle left Cade’s mouth. He pulled out a laminated card from his pocket and passed it over to me. I scanned the note and Kevin’s comment made more sense. 

It read in a nice and fun font with colored text, Hi I’m Cade I have an anxiety disorder called selective mutism. I am unable to speak in certain social situations. This is not a choice, it's an involuntary response, I’m not being rude.

“Can I pass this around the table?” I asked him so everyone can have a slightly better understanding of our new cast mate. He thought about it for a second before nodding.

I passed the card over to Lizzie and she read the card quickly too before passing it to Chris sitting next to her. He wasn’t in the movie and neither was Lizzie, ever since we started dating Lizzie and had Chris become besties even though I knew him longer and he was my friend first they were always together in their free time as of late. As the card made its way around the table nobody seemed phased except until Jeremy got a hold of it.

“How does that work?” He asked, looking at Cade. The boy picked with his fingers for a moment and was about to say something but it was Kevin who spoke up first. I felt a small growl in the back of my throat come forward as I looked at Jeremy. I knew him, we were friends, but he was an older guy and thought anxiety was for the “snowflakes” of America so I’d have to keep an eye out.

“I asked that very same question but I'll just send you the audition tape and I think all your questions would be answered.” Jeremy took that for an answer and we all fell back into a comfortable conversation. Everything was going well and about ten minutes later the waitress appeared with the appetizer and the drinks some people ordered when we first arrived.

“Okay guys are we ready to order?” I heard her ask the table, looking around no one was really paying her any attention except for myself, Cade, and Lizzie who were closest to her.

I was about to say yes that we all were ready taking control of the room but I noticed Cade beside me start to panic a bit, the stress on his face was evident looking around for a menu as his leg started to furiously bounce under the table. This is when I realized that he never got a menu in the first place.

“Actually, can we have some more time to look it all over? I think we’ve been too busy catching up so far but Umm Cade? Would you like to put in a drink?” I asked the waitress and then turned to Cade. I took my menu and slid it in front of him, flipping it to the back where the drink options were. I slightly pushed out some calming pheromones into the air to get him to relax a bit.

His shoulders relaxed a bit as he scanned the menu for less than a second before looking up at the waitress like he had something to say but it wouldn’t come out and then looked back down at the menu and shook his head. He was giving off the most anxious scent I've ever smelled in my life.

“Are you sure bud? You can just point which one you want or you can whisper it to me or something.” I didn’t mean to call him that, but he seemed nervous and I wanted him to feel comfortable. I could tell he had something in mind and I just wanted to encourage him however possible.

It seemed the waitress had picked up Cade's lack of communication and tapped him on the shoulder. She tucked her notepad in her apron and started making hand signals towards him. He brightened up and started signing back to her. They seemed to have a small conversation and then she grabbed her notepad and started writing.

“Okay one hot chocolate and a glass of water coming right up. I’ll be back.” She said before turning and leaving. 

“That was cool, can you teach me something?” Lizzie asked Cade. He seemed surprised but nodded. He pointed to Lizzie and then started to spell out her name with sign letters as he very quietly talked it out.

“L. I. Z.Z.I.E th-that’s  Liz-zie.” He explained his voice was soft as he spelled her name out but the two of us could hear him. Lizzie tried to copy his hand movements. He smiled and nodded as she practiced for a bit and then asked him to teach her more. He didn’t seem to mind but I knew he still hadn’t looked over the menu and the waitress would be back soon.

“Liz, why don't you let him pick out what he wants to eat first before he teaches you anything else?” I asked softly not trying to be commanding or dominatining the two, but trying to switch gears a bit.

“Oh gosh yeah sorry about that I get so excited sometimes.” She said to Cade he shook his head and signed something.

“I know that one he said it’s okay.” Lizzie said happily as Cade nodded to say she was correct.

I nudged the menu and he looked down at it for a minute. He seemed to just be staring at the first page not necessarily looking through it much like he did before with the drinks. His leg started bouncing again under the table and Lizzie and I both gave each other a look. Lizzie herself had anxiety so we both were hyper aware of the cues of anxiety.

Cade's POV

Dinner wasn’t going as horrible as I thought it was going to be but I was still highly stressed. I did relax a bit after Lizzie had asked me to show her some sign language. Not many people are so interested in finding ways to communicate with me so it was nice to see her instantly try. She seemed really sweet and Scarlett too. Being in their presence felt really comfortable just knowing them for less than an hour. However I got anxious all over again when Scarlett suggested I take a look at the menu and pick out my dinner. 

I didn’t feel that hungry as my stomach was in knots but as I looked at the menu again I knew I wouldn’t be able to order anything from here. It was written in cursive and even though I was pretty smart with the way the letters blended together I could never form a correct word and I never learned it in school. With all my moving between foster homes I figured that lesson was missed. I felt my chest tighten and my leg start to shake as I faked looking through the menu but Scarlett seemed to know what was up and questioned me about it.

“Are you okay?” She asked me softly and my nose was filled with a calming scent radiating off of her as I looked up quickly nodding, not even thinking about it before answering.

“I’ll be honest, I can tell that's not necessarily true, I’m a human lie detector.” I looked at her nervously, nobody could read me like that. 

 And it made me wonder Why did I lie? I felt comfortable with her and Lizzie and that was rare. Unlike most people they didn’t seem bothered by my anxiety or lack of speech. So I took a couple deep breaths to steady myself and I cleared my throat and I remembered something that Striker dad used to alway tem me. Bravery can even be found in the smallest moments, not just the big ones we see in movies,

“I-i can’t read cursive.” I said in a little voice dejectedly I was embarrassed to look at them so I looked back at the menu and the small cursive font it was in. 

“I can read it to you or I could ask for the kids menu. I'm pretty sure that it's not in cursive?” Scarlett suggested and I felt myself perk up at the idea of a kids menu. They were easier with better choices and always so fun to color on.

I quickly remembered where I was when I felt myself slipping into a weird headspace where my brain started to go fuzzy and pushed that feeling down. It wasn't an unusual feeling but it was one i knew to always lead me into trouble with Kenneth and Joyce, sometimes I would find myself slipping in a more submissive and younger headspace than what I actually was. Kenneth would always say that it was the devil trying to take control of me. And that I had to resist temptations. It was usually easier to keep this side of me at bay but today I was tired, still in pain from the fall and very much overwhelmed so it was harder to resist. I could only imagine what it would be like to slip in front of all these adults I'm supposed to work with. I’d probably be fired on the spot so I shook my head and tried to pull myself up.

Lizzie’s POV

I watched as Scarlet offered to read Cade the menu for him or get a kids menu. For a second he seemed to brighten and relax at the sound of a kid's menu but then immediately shakes his head and looks down at his lap nervously before rubbing his temples. He definitely wanted that kids menu but was too embarrassed.

From the second I saw him walk in I felt a need in my chest to take care of him and watch out for him so I had a feeling his status might include being a little. Scarlett and I were both caregivers and it was widely known that when in the presence of each other caregivers and little could sense each other. 

I looked over to Scarlett who had seemed to be thinking the same thing I was. She didn’t say anything else to Cade. I just watched her get up and head out of the room. A minute later she came back and sat down. She placed a piece of paper and a box of crayon in front of Cade. He immediately lit up looking shocked at her. She was a Dominant Alpha like that, whenever she could tell someone she cared about wasn't going to speak up for themself she would naturally do it for them.

“Thanks.” He said before grabbing the crayons and opening the box. Just like any kid he had one track mind and coloring was the objective. It seemed he forgot about the original task which was to pick out some food. 

“Whoa there,” I said to him, placing a hand over the one he was coloring while getting him to stop and look at me. I gave him a little smile.

“How about you pick out what you want to eat first and then you can color?” I asked him, he huffed and pouted for a second and went to start coloring again. Scarlett stepped in and took the crayon out of his hand and flipped the page over to the food menu.

He let out a little whine, turning his pout over to Scarlett. Thankfully another five seconds and I would’ve caved and let him continue to color. His pout was too cute and she stood a better chance with him.

“Here let's look at the options and we can color in which one you want, okay?” Scarlett said to him he thought about it before nodding and looking at the menu with Scarlett. Each item had a little picture of what the food was so as they looked Scarlett read the menu off to him. He didn't seem too convinced but nodded to her.

“Okay so they have salad, meatballs, spaghetti, chicken nuggets, cheeseburger and grilled cheese? Which one sounds good?” He grabbed a yellow crayon and started to color in the grilled cheese.

“Good choice, grilled cheese is the best, Scarlett makes the best grilled cheese there ever is.” I told him and he smiled. He tapped the rest of the crayons looking at Scarlett for permission to now color.

“Yeah. Go ahead now.” She said to him and he smiled and turned to color in the rest of the food items. I got sucked into a conversation with Florence and Jeremy for a little while until the waitress came back in and brought Cade his hot chocolate and water before taking everyone's dinner orders. When it got to Cade's turn he got visibly nervous again he immediately dropped the crayon he was using and started picking at his fingers and he couldn’t get any words out, Scarlett stepped in and she grabbed the crayon he dropped and gave it back to him, turning his attention back to the page before ordering for him.

“He’d like the kids grilled cheese and a side of fries please.” Scarlett told her as he colored, the waitress wrote the order down and continued on. We all continued to talk and have a good time together and within no time our food was coming out and everyone dug in.

After finishing our food we all continued to talk and just catch up while the guys ordered a round of shots for the table. The waiter even brought one for Cade but I was quick to take it away from him. For some reason whenever people see a group of actors or celebrities they act like the rules don’t apply and I saw too many teen celebrities get into drinking and drugs because of it.

Luckily he didn’t seem to notice or just wasn't interested as he was working on a crossword puzzle on his menu so my small crisis was averted. Through dinner I could see him slowly getting more and more comfortable with everyone. I watched as he minded his own business and occasionally spoke if spoken to. 

After a while he started to look a little tired and was fighting sleep, eyes drooping and rocking in the chair every once in a while. It soon became more frequent and I realized what he was actually doing. As always Scarlett must’ve picked the same thing I was because she turned to him.

“Do you have to go to the bathroom?” She whispered to him he looked a bit shocked, a small blush creepy up on his face before he stilled his body. 

“Ah No.” he mumbled sleepily.

“Okay well if you do you can let me know. I can show you the way.” He just nodded and went back to his crossword he had not finished yet before he started dozing off. It was probably another 45 minutes before I noticed once again he started to fidget in his seat. 

He was resting his head in his hand now as his eyes started to droop. He seemed to have to finish everything on his menu so he was just quietly listening to the conversation. I looked at the time and it was already 10:24pm. I watched as Cades' eyes closed for a couple minutes and the boy relaxed. He looked peaceful, no anxiety whatsoever but the moment was ended by his eyes shooting open and his body tense. 

I was going to ask him what was wrong but I noticed Lizzie sniffed the air and then looked down at the floor and I followed her eye line to see liquid dripping from Cades seat to the floor. I looked back up at him just as his eyes might mine.

“S-sorry i’m… shit i’m sorry.” He whispered mostly to himself. He looked like he was either about to cry or have a panic attack, maybe both. I placed my hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he only shot up in his seat abruptly, causing the table to shake and knock over his water glass spilling over onto the two of us.

“Fuck.” He mumbled before running out of the room. I got up not too long after him excusing myself as everyone at the table looked confused except Lizzie. 

Scarlett's POV

I left the room but didn’t see Cade, the man at the coat check was still there talking with our waitress so I went over to them.

“Hi, excuse me?” I said to the two.

“Hi, is everything alright?” She asked me.

“Did you see a young teen run this way by chance?” She nodded.

“Oh yeah he signed for the bathroom.” 

“Ok thank you, could I get my coat while I’m here?” I asked, thinking he’ll need something to cover himself with that could work. 

“Sure thing!” The guy said as he took my ticket and headed into the back. He came back out with my jacket and a duffel bag and skateboard.

“Here’s your jacket and here is his stuff too if you’d like.” I took the bag and headed down to the restrooms but as I went a lot of questions started forming in my mind. Was he ok? Was this the kids first night in town? Where was he staying? Where were his parents?

I got to the restroom and instantly knew where he was. His scent was radiating and the soft crying coming from the family restroom was a dead give away so I knocked.

“Cade? It’s me Scarlett, I have your stuff and just want to see if you need some help?” I waited for a minute and the cries quieted down a little bit and then the door unlocked and opened a crack and I heard shuffling. I moved inside before closing the door and locking it again. He was sitting on the floor in the corner with his head in his knees.

I moved over to him getting down on my knees to try and be eye level with him.

“Hey you're okay, don’t worry it was just an accident. They happen all the time.” He shook his head but still didn’t look up at me but just started hitting his head with his fist. I grabbed his hands, holding them in mine stopping him from hurting himself further.

“Buddy I need you to take a deep breath for me?” I started taking deep breaths myself and placed his hand on my chest so he could feel my breath. Lizzie always told me that physical contact sometimes helped ground her when she was upset so I figured I could try that. It seemed to work as he tried to match my breathing. He was very uneven still but I could see it start working. 

“You’re doing great just like that.” I told him after five more minutes he was able to get his breathing under control and I was now sitting down leaning against the wall with him next to me with his head on my chest. A buzzing sound of my phone rang out slightly scaring him.

“It’s ok just my phone.” I told him and I pulled out the device. It was a text message from Lizzie saying that she had told everyone that we’d be heading out and taking Cade home since it was getting late. And that she was outside the restroom.

Focusing back on Cade, he was way calmer than before, basically asleep on my chest. He was still in his wet pants as a reminder as to why we were here in the first place.

“Hey.” I said softly running my thumb over his cheek softly to wake him just a bit. His eyes fluttered open looking up at me confused. His eyes looked very little in the moment and I had a feeling he was still dropping into a littler headspace. Making me wonder how young his headspace could drop. It seemed he was pretty young so I was really shocked that his parents would let him travel alone like this.

“Let’s get you cleaned up okay?” I asked him and he moved his head off of me, standing up as he shook his head as if to clear it. He stumbled a bit and I quickly moved to get up and steady him.

“It’s okay, just relax.” I moved him over to the toilet so he was standing in front of it for him to see if he still needed to go.

“Here take those off, try to go and I’ll find you something new to wear.” I told him he pulled off his pants and underwear and sat on the toilet. I thought it slightly odd he chose to sit and pee but maybe he preferred it that way. I turned and looked through the bag looking for a new set of clothes. I found a pair of pajama pants and went with those and pulled out a white t-shirt and  black hoodie too knowing it would be cold outside now. 

“Here you go.” I said handing him the clothes without looking. I heard him wipe and the toilet flush before some shuffling of him changing and then him washing his hands. Once he was done I turned to look at him and was met with a very sleepy looking kid. 

“Okay well it’s getting really late so how about Lizzie and I help you get home? Where are you staying?” He definitely wasn’t in the right headspace to be getting home so late on his own so I was going to make sure he did. 

We walked out of the rest room to see Lizzie standing outside of the door. She smiled softly at the two of us and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I didn’t miss how Cade looked surprised at the affection but quickly masked his face. 

“Are you guys ready to get out here, it's pretty late?” Lizzie asked mostly to Cade. He started to look nervous again and his breath started picking up. Lizzie was quick to react, placing her hand on his shoulders and looking him in the eyes. 

“It's okay, slow your breathing for me.” He nodded and followed her breathing calming down. With shaky hands he started to type something out on his phone. 

After a little bit of typing he held the phone out to us and we heard a voice read out his words.

“My contract said Marvel would set up a place for me to stay during shooting but I can find a hotel or something.”  The voice read out. 

“I can go talk to Kevin and see if they have anything setup for you.You guys can head out to the car and I’ll meet you there.” I told the two. Lizzie nodded and I headed back up to talk to Kevin. 

As expected Kevin tried to play it like he had no idea what I was talking about but I reminded him this same thing happened with Tom Holland when he joined the MCU and how much trouble they almost got into with him. After that Kevin tried to say he figured something out within the next couple of days, like the kid didn’t need a place to stay now, so I told him to forget about it and that he could stay with me. 

Lizzie’s POV

Scarlet handed me Cade’s bag and I led him out the back door and took him to Scarlett's BMW i7.

I helped him hop inside the back seat before climbing in the front passenger seat and turning on the car to get the heater going while we waited.

“So you like to skate?” I asked him, looking in the rearview mirror as he spun the wheel of his board and then I turned in my seat to look at him.

He nodded and signed Yes back to me with a smile.

“I like the look of your board, are you also into Space?” I was looking at the design on the bottom of the board. It looked like an astronaut was floating aimlessly in space but the cool thing about it was that he had a drum strapped to his chest and it looked as If he was playing in space.

Cade nodded again and smiled brightly looking down at the board for a second before he pointed at himself and then tapped the astronaut on the board and back to himself.

“Is that you?” I asked putting together what he was trying to express. He nodded again.

“Wow, that's really cool. So you're into space and skateboarding. ” I said to him and he seemed surprised I was showing interest so I gave him a little nudge and an encouraging smile making home start laughing a bit. A second later Scarlett opened the door and hopped in the car.

“What do we have going on here?” She teased looking back at Cade. He chuckled slightly and shook his head.

“He was just showing off his cool skateboard to me.” I boasted and he just shook his head again.

“Well that's cool. Can I see?” Scarlet said encouraging him a bit more and he showed her the board and she said it looked sick as heck causing him to laugh. I smiled huge and enjoyed the laughter Cade was expressing.

“Okay ok let's settle down a bit now. It’s late and we don’t want to get all wound up right before bed.” Scarlett reminded us. Sending a wave of calming pheromones through the car. I immediately relaxed as she did and watched as Cade did too with a small smile on his face.

“Ok fun police.” I joked as I settled down in my seat and turned to her.

“So where were we going?” I kinda forgot we still had to take Cade home.

“Well they didn’t really have any set up yet so I offered for Cadence to stay with us if that was cool with you?” She asked him looking in the rearview mirror. 

He quickly pulled out his phone and typed something out before he played for us. 

“It's okay I can find somewhere I don't want to be a bother.” The automated voice read out. He started to gather his things like he was going to leave the car but Scarlett spoke first.

“No you're not a bother at all. We have the extra space plus we’ll be filming mostly together anyway so it helps with scheduling and rehearsals. Don’t fight me on this one okay?” Scarlett turned on the radio and started driving towards our house not giving him any room to say much of anything else on the matter. I could tell her alpha was talking control now as she has a strong protective nature. We all rode in comfortable silence as the music played. 

About ten minutes into the ride I heard snoring coming from the backseat and saw Cade propped up against the window peacefully sleeping.

“He’s so precious, Scar.” I whispered to her, she glanced in her mirror to look at him and immediately smiled seeing him at peace.

“He is, isn't he? highly anxious too, I wonder what all that about. He’s too young to have to be worried so much.” Looking back at Scarlett she looked deeply worried. I could see the wheel turning in her mind. 

“And I’m just so surprised? What kind of parents send their 16 year old kid to LA on his own, like tell me that’s not weird?” She did have a point especially since the boy had so much anxiety and trouble speaking. 

“We’ll have to ask him about it sometime. See if we can get the full story?” I suggested.

“Do you think I went too alpha on him? Should I have let him get a hotel or something?” She asked me.

“ I don't think so, Scarlett, he is 16 he should be with an adult to watch over him at least. But if he is not comfortable with us we can arrange something else. ” She nodded in agreement as she drove. We were getting close to home so the two of us sat in silence for the rest of the ride. 

Once we got to the house. Scarlett didn’t want to wake the sleeping pup so she carried him inside and upstairs to the spare room we had. Once he was nicely tucked into bed, we left the room and headed to our own room across the hall and were quick to fall asleep too. 

I think I fell asleep for about an hour or two total before I was up again and couldn’t fall back to sleep. This was a regular occurrence for me. Sometimes with my anxiety I wouldn't be able to sleep no matter how hard I tried so I got out of bed and headed down stairs to the living room. I laid down on our huge sofa I had insisted on getting.

I grew up in a big family and we often spent time crammed together on our family couch watching television as we grew up. I still love a good dog pile cuddle session, in fact we had them quite often whenever our friends would come over for a dinner party or movie night. I turned on the tv and made sure the volume was down low before starting another episode of i love lucy. After watching a bunch of old tv sitcoms to help me build on my character Wanda for WandaVision i really got into I love Lucy. 

[perceivedregret]

the stranger things brainrot got me to write something. it's been plaguing my mind, the worms demanded to be fed, and here we are. anyway, this is mostly for me but i figure might as well share the brainrot with anyone who'd be interested. no beta, a no-upside down au, inspired by that fanart of teacher!steve with some tweaks here and there

Extended Hours are Open

these fragile eggs will likely crack unless you pick another track

"Wheeler, Byers! For the last time- no no no no!"

All Steve could do was pinch the bridge of his nose as the now full blown headache officially bloomed behind his eyes. The crash of his now obliterated mug of coffee rang throughout the classroom, small gasps and ooo's filling every corner.

Steve's shoulders rise as he takes a deep breath in, counting to five before blowing out a raspberry and settling his hands on his hips. Head falling back, his eyes scan the ceiling in an attempt to find his last shred of patience– surely it was somewhere within the water stains.

"Guys how many times do I have to tell you, no lightsaber battles during quiet time ."  He mutters before a long sigh escapes him. He surveys the mess on the floor before finally looking at the guilty parties. Mike and Will were standing stock still in the positions they froze in when the mug went tumbling down. The markers, which were capped and stacked together to make their sabers, are now scattered and still rolling around the floor and through the spilled drink.

Steve straightens his back, eyes wandering over to the rest of the kids who at least understood and respected direction. They quickly avert their eyes and return to their after-school work, not wanting to be under Steve’s scrutinizing gaze that sweeps the room. At one of the tables, Lucas and Dustin had their heads together, snickering amongst themselves with fingers pointed back at the no-do-gooders.

Mike and Will lower their hands, releasing themselves from battle stance. Will’s hand comes up to brush his hair back before settling on the back of his neck while Mike sheepishly hides his hands and the culprit markers behind himself as his lips pull together into a tight line.

“Seriously guys, all we ask is that you take the first thirty minutes here to make sure your homework is done, make sure that you’re prepared for any tests or upcoming assignments, like-” Steve shakes his head, eyes searching for something to start cleaning up the mess. “It's the same rules as last year.”

Mike rolls his eyes, a scowl spreading across his face. “Steve, it’s only the second week of school. We’re still going over syllabus notes. And we’re seventh graders now ! We don’t even have that much-”

“And today is the first day of Extended Hours, Wheeler. We don't have that many rules but right now, all we asked for was thirty minutes of silence for the kids who do have some work to do, to be able to complete it without distractions. There’s twelve of you rugrats in here, not just you two-”

"We can clean this up," Will interrupts, eyes wandering over to the small supply closet in the corner of the room. “We’re sorry.” He throws his arm out, back of his hand tapping Mike’s chest to get them in motion.

Steve was starting to wish he had just applied to Family Video after graduating. He had just made it, the skin of his knees dragging across the finish line towards that diploma. He doesn’t remember the night of the graduation party, only the morning after when he had to stealthily escape the grasps of Taila the morning after. “I’m like a ninja,” he had exclaimed to Robin during lunch at the local diner that afternoon. A fry immediately hit him square in the face, her face scrunched in disgust.

But no, instead of getting to relax and kick back, peddle films for folks to rent, he agreed to take on Extended Hours, again. Robin really wanted to give it a go for another year. Steve couldn’t say no, even if the only reason she could give him was “for reasons!”

They had developed a completely (un)healthy codependency ever since they found that confiscated bag of gummies from Miss Lowers desk last year. Honestly though, how were they supposed to know it was infused?

That afternoon, Robin and Steve purged themselves of their deepest secrets. How Robin looked at Tammy, how she watched Fast Time over and over again but not because of the plot. How Vicki made her stomach writhe with butterflies just because she looked at her and would smile at her in band. How she doesn’t see that white picket fence with some guy by her side, but instead with someone that looked like Tammy or Vicki.

Steve talked about his empty home, his absent parents, how the girls he tried to date were all duds. How he stopped trying to find “the one” with every single age-appropriate babe in town and just let his body do what it wanted. How his eyes started to wander and suddenly he wasn’t only looking at girls like that. How he used to be jealous of the relationship Tommy and Carol had, except, it wasn't because they were happy together, but because Steve wanted Tommy to look at him the way he looked at Carol sometimes….

It didn’t need to be said, but it was understood as they slowly came down that they would never divulge what the other said, but most importantly, that they would be there for each other, always. They stayed together, eyes locked on each other, weary of the other until their understanding finally clicked and eventually Steve asked if she noticed that when Tammy sang she sounded like a Muppet, and that was that.

They have been attached at the hip ever since. They ignored the rumors but dispelled them any time they came up. It was difficult for folks to stomach, to fathom that they were simply platonic– nothing more.

The door to the classroom that had been partially open with a rubber stopper bustles open, Robin charging in. "Steve, I found the- what the heck happened here?" Her smile melted as her eyes wandered between Steve, the boys now scurrying over to the corner, and the coffee that continued to creep across the floor. She eyes the scattered markers, eyebrows knitting together as an annoyed whine escapes her lips. "Guys, what did we say about-"

"We know, we know! We're on it, alright, we're sorry.” Mike exasperates, head tilted all the way back as he follows Will who’s now rushing over to the supply closet, swinging the door open to find anything to clean the mess.

Robin approaches the small desk that Steve is leaning against, arms crossed against his chest. Tip-toeing as she nears the spill, she drops the box of books and card games with a small smile. She’d gone out looking for some stuff that the kids requested to have in the class, things to keep themselves occupied after quiet time.

The requests that had left Steve to fend for himself.

“Can we please please please get some more books in.” Suzie had pleaded, hands together in prayer at her chest. She turned to poor unsuspecting Jamie, grabbing their arm and roping them in for a request they didn't ask for. “Some medieval adventure story, maybe. Or how about an alien space adventure! Or, or, how about something to do with forbidden romance-”  

“Ooo, can we get some Uno cards? Will and I had so much fun playing in Dad’s cabin with Jonathan and Argyle this summer,” Jane interrupted as she scooted close to the end of her seat, eyes wide and hopeful.

“HOLD ON!” Dustin rushed forward, had his arms out wide as his eyebrows tried to escape into his hairline behind his ball cap.  “There’s a new campaign that was just published. Mr. Clarke found it and said he would print it out so that we could take a look but we haven’t had the chance to visit his class since to get the copy!” Dustin was adamant that it had to be picked up today, right now– not later, not tomorrow, now! by the way.

A few more requests from the rest of the kids and Steve’s eyes were starting to glaze over, brows together as he tried keeping up with the growing list. Robin nodded along with every request until they finally stopped coming in. She had tapped her chin with her pointer finger, deep in thought before saying okay. She had turned to leave without consulting Steve.

“Rob,” he scoffed as he grabbed her elbow before she made her escape. “There’s, like, that five-to-one rule! You can’t leave me alone with these kids, I’m outnumbered here.” Steve was watching the class wearily as they settled into their seats to start quiet time.

“It’ll be fine Harrington, I won’t even be gone two minutes. And I’m pretty sure Principle Murray said the rule is seven-to-one, Dingus. I’ll be right back.” As she spun on her heels, she yelled back “and no lightsaber marker battles!”  before marching right out on her quest.

“Right back” was 14 minutes ago. Steve knows because he was counting down the seconds.

Four minutes after I’ll be right back, Erica had asked Steve for some help with an assignment for English. He crouched beside her as she squirmed in her seat to get a closer look. Across the top of the page in bold print was My Summer Vacation in 100 words or More. He was helping her choose which summer adventure to write about when his eyes caught movement outside the window. He ignored it and gave Erica his full attention.

Seven minutes after I’ll be right back , he had convinced Erica to write about the trip she and the rest of the Sinclairs went on�� that pop-up carnival that wandered through Hawkins some time in mid-June.

It was alright. He personally had gone there with Robin and it would have been a more enjoyable experience if it weren’t for all the creepy clowns at every single stand. They ended up finding Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle at some point and enjoyed the rest of that night together as a group of friends.

Nine minutes after I’ll be right back and Steve let curiosity of the movement from the window win him over as he wandered over to take a peak. A scoff had escaped his lips as he parted the hanging louvers to get a clearer look at the figures he had spotted across the courtyard. 

Ten minutes after I’ll be right back and there she stood.

Robin was in the courtyard talking to Nancy, the box of requests settled casually against her hip as they laughed amongst themselves over some unheard joke. Nancy had stepped forward, hand settled against Robin’s arm that carried Steve’s reprieve as she threw her head back and laughed harder, Robin hiding her smile behind the hand that wasn't occupied.

Okay, first of all, Robin isn’t even that funny, okay. Steve had thought to himself as he leaned closer to the window, breath fogging the glass. Alright, and wait.. is Nancy making a move…  I know Robin developed a crush after the carnival and those two were inseparable all summer when we weren’t together and- wait, who cares right now, Robin! There are kids waiting for you here, man! Me, I’m waiting !

Steve had dropped his head, eyes closed and despair hidden behind his fallen hair as he stepped away from the window, resolved to the fact it was going to be a while before Robin got back.

It was at minute eleven when Steve had made his first warning to Mike and Will. Stop stacking those markers and keep quiet please. He went over to the coffee machine (thank you Ms. Byers, by the way) and started to make a batch as the inkling of a headache started at his temples.

A few minutes later, a few more ignored warnings, the crashing of the coffee mug– bing bang boom, we’re all caught up.

Will retreated from the supply closet, a bundle of towels in hand while Mike carried a small bucket over to the sink to fill with water. As they start cleaning up the mess, Steve elbows Robin, her eyes blinking as she shakes her head to clear her daze and turns to him.

“Two minutes, huh,” he accuses as he unfolds his arms, turning to inspect the box of goods. Just about every request he could remember, up to the forbidden romance . “How’s Nance doing with the school newspaper by the way.”

Eyes wide and a smile wide enough to crack anyone else’s face spreads across her own, and Robin starts. “Oh she’s so excited, she was telling me about this story she was going to cover with Fred about those dumb satanic rumors the country is trying to associate with DnD. She’s got interviews lined up, she mentioned someone named Eddie. Do you know him? Munson, he’s older and was supposed to graduate with you, something about dyslexia and attendance or whatever keeping him back a year. No, two. He’s still enrolled, just has to take a few elective courses to finish out the year. Apparently he’s covering most of it at home, just shows up to take tests every once in a while. He’s actually pretty smart- just not good with school. He’s, what do they say? That’s it! Street smart, he’s street smart, not book smart. Oh, and did you know he sometimes makes campaign outlines for the boys? That he ran that Hellfire Club the kids are a part of here in school? Anyways, since Mike and them are all absolute dorks, she wants to get a message across the school about how it’s absolutely not true and to get their heads out of their asses. You know, she gets this passionate look on her face every time she–” Robin suddenly stops rambling, the smile slipping off her face as a flush rises up her neck all the way up to the tips of her ears.

A nervous laugh bubbles from her lips. “Nancy is fine,” she mutters as she scratches at a spot on her neck, red slowly creeping across her cheeks.

Before she could start to overthink, Steve breaks into a wide smile, playfully shoving his best friend to get her attention before grabbing her into a sideways hug. “Rob, it’s fine. She and I– we talked about it and we both agreed that we would be better as friends. You were literally there that night. You know, the night of the carnival? Don’t sweat it,” he whispers so only she can hear, pulling her in to give a reassuring squeeze before letting her go.

She shakes her head, eyebrows pulling close together. “But Steve, there are, like, codes we follow. You’re my best friend. How did you even know- wait, how long have you known?” Another rough shake of her head. “That’s not important- well, it is, but still, you don’t have to say that just to-”

“ Shh! Buckley! I said it’s fine.” He waves her off with a laugh. Did she just stop breathing? “Besides, we shouldn’t talk about this here. Just hear me when I say this.” He turns her so they’re fully facing each other, lowering his head so that they’re at eye level. “It. Is. Fine. Now, please breathe.”

Robin inhales the breathe she had refused to take and stands there, nose scrunching as a wince takes over her whole face, “But-”

Steve takes a peak at the clock hanging above the door of the classroom. Seven minutes left until quiet time is over.

Good enough .

He claps his hands together loudly to get her to stop before she even starts rambling again, getting the class’s attention before spinning around to look at the startled eyes.

“Alright! I say we call it early, we grab all of our belongings, and take Extended Hours outside! Come on, let’s get some sun.” He waves his arms to signal everyone to start moving, ignoring Robin’s attempts to catch his attention by grabbing the box of requests and making his way to the classroom door, propping it open with his shoulder while the kids gather their belongings and get themselves ready to move. Will and Mike scramble to get the bucket and towels rung out and the markers put away to follow everyone outside.

Robin points at Steve, gives him a we’re going to talk about this later look before rolling her eyes and using the finger she had pointed at him to start counting the kids.

“One! Two.. five, eight,” Steve taps Jane’s head as he says “Eleven, and twelve,” he exclaims, holding the door for Robin to follow the line of kids outside to the courtyard. She runs ahead, the lead of the train to keep the kids in order while Steve keeps an eye from the back, letting the classroom door swing shut behind him.

Steve is snooping through the box to get a better look at the contents at the bottom as they’re rounding a corner when he runs into a body. No, when he runs into two bodies.

“Oh shi- I’m so sorry, I should have been paying attention,” Steve apologizes while he re-centers himself, settles the box to his side and brushes his hair back before he looks up at the offended parties who stood side by side, pinkies interlocked. He recognizes them both but is only familiar with–

“Holy shit, is that Max.”

“ Lucas! ” Robin spins at the curse. “What did we say about language!”

“Sorry! It’s just, we haven’t seen Max since last year and she had been out all of last week. We just didn’t think we’d see her again.”

“Yeah, we thought she went back to California or something.” Dustin mutters. Lucas sheepishly smiles at Max before cutting his eyes to Dustin and then immediately to the floor. Jane waves excitedly in the line to Max, who half smiles from where she stands.

The line is no longer moving, at a stand still in the middle of the hall as the sudden interaction takes place.

Max was part of Extended Hours the year before when she and Billy were both enrolled at Hawkins Middle and High. He would often leave without her, blue Camaro roaring away with whoever Billy was fooling around with that week and, without a ride, she stuck around and was a part of the party.

Things got rocky towards the end of the year. From what Steve understood, their parents were going through the process of divorce and it was really hard for the both of them. Billy ended up dropping out in the middle of the semester, got his GED, went straight back to Cali and, from what they all understood, he never looked back.

After Billy left, things got worse for Max. The smallest things would set her off and she slowly pushed everyone away, Walkman blocking out the noise as she kept to herself more and more. Robin, Steve, Nancy- they tried to do what they could but she was a brick wall that refused to crumble. She stopped showing up to Extended Hours and would just skate home after school. She finished up the school year and, as Lucas said, hadn’t been seen or heard of since.

“Hey, Eddie. Max.” Mike looks between everyone, a small wave of his hand from where it hangs at his hips before he takes a small step back, a bit behind Will. Eddie smiles and nods in recognition as he winks at the kids who he’s helped campaign for.

Steve clears his throat, extends his hand in apology and exhales as Eddie takes his hand with a smile, other hand still interlocked at the pinkies with Max’s. “Sorry, again. Munson, Max- what brings you two to school after hours?” Steve stares between the two because, well, it’s an odd pairing to be running into if he’s honest. How did she know Eddie? How did Eddie know her and why were they here together?

Weird pairing. Not that Eddie was weird. Well, okay, he was “the freak” Munson, but Steve “the king” knew better than to listen to rumors, especially the outlandish ones.

The man before Steve didn’t exactly meet those rumored expectations. Eddie’s usually wild mane was currently up in a do, in a loose low hanging bun with wisps framing his face. He wore a white long-sleeve shirt that read “Skylar’s Vibe,” which Steve recognized as the music shop in town. He had on a sleeveless jean jacket that was covered in pins and patches, with one larger patch proudly present on his front left pocket– Hellfire Club.

Steve’s eyes traveled back down to the interlocked pinkies. His nails are painted with black nail polish, chipped, and a digital watch on one wrist and an assortment of black wrist bands on the other. Tight, ripped black jeans hugged his legs. He’s pale between the slits, he notes.

He looked back at Eddie’s face, smiling between the two again. No way this dude bit off a bat’s head. Might have sold some kids some weed, but definitely has never been to prison for murder. Soft doe eyes like that? This guy was innocent in Steve’s books.

Although that mouth, lips pursed in a smirk before a tongue sneaks out to wet his lips– that mouth surely has its secrets. Maybe that one rumor about-

“I’m just dropping Max off for Extended Hours. I know she didn’t make it for classes all week and wasn’t in today but we figured better late than never.” Eddie interrupted Steve’s train of thought and, thank god because where exactly was the destination?

“Oh, that’s nice of you Munson,” Robin exclaims from the front of the line as she extends a hand out for Max. “We were just going to go outside, get some sun. Just got done with Quiet Time, about to go through that box,” she tips her chin in Steve’s direction. “Now that Max is here, we could all catch up! I know we’ve all missed you.” She directs that last part to Max, who sheepishly bows her head as a smile threatens to break her cool composure.

Max looks at the hand that’s interlocked with Eddie’s, gives his pinky a squeeze as she looks up at him. He gives her an encouraging nod, pulling their interlocked arms forward so she can take steps towards Robin’s extended hand, breaking their connection.

A deep breath fills her small body as Max takes a step forward and takes Robin's hand, nodding at everyone as she passes them. “I guess I’ve missed being here with you guys, too.” She nods, as if to herself, seemingly trying to convince herself as Robin begins moving the group of kids past the double doors that lead to the courtyard.

Steve doesn’t move with them, just watches the group go outside, sees the way Lucas and Jane have a sudden extra pep in their step as they follow Robin and Max with the others.

“Anyways, I’ll be back to pick her up– is the pick up time still five?” Eddie taps Steve’s arm with the back of his hand before using that same hand to point behind him. “I just, I gotta get back to work, finish out my shift.” Eddie starts to walk backwards, eyes on Steve as he slowly makes his way back down the hallway to get to the parking lot, waiting for a response.

“Huh- Oh, yeah, the pick up time is at five or anytime before, but I sometimes take the kids home if parents call me ahead of time for the favor. They usually compensate me for the gas-” Steve shakes his head. “But, wait, before you go! How do you know Max? Where’s her mom?” Steve re-adjusts the box, the weight finally getting to him as he’s been holding it for so long. He rests it against his hip, his other hand going to the back of his neck to scratch an itch that had suddenly festered deep under his skin.

Why was it suddenly so warm? Also, were there ants crawling up his arms? His neck? Into his hair?

Eddie grimaces in a way that tells Steve it’s not his place to explain. Hm . “Her mom moved into the trailer park I live in. They’re right across from the one I live in with my uncle Wayne.” He nods as he decides what’s enough to say without saying too much or too little. A few more hairs fall from his up-do before he decides to take out the black tie that was holding it up and shakes out his hair with his hand, an exasperated sigh escaping him.

“Let’s just say my family has gotten close with her’s and… she’s the little sister I wish I had.” He nods again, a smile on the cusp of his lips. “I’m just trying to help her and her mom out right now. That’s it.” He clasps his hands together, smiling as he playfully salutes to Steve before turning on his heel. “Thanks for watching Little Red, Harrington. Give my thanks to Buckley and tell the little DnD shits I’ll talk to them soon! I’ll see you when I pick her up later.” 

He rounds a corner and he’s gone. 

Steve can hear the door that leads to the parking lot open and close. He stands there for a moment, runs a hand down his arms to shake off the imaginary ants before making his way to the courtyard.

So. Max and Eddie are a sudden brotherly-sister duo. Huh. 

“Dude, give us the box!” Dustin just about rips the box from Steve's grasp. “Where the hell is it,” he mutters while he rummages through it. Slowly the rest of the kids gather around to take turns taking out their requests.

Steve slowly makes his way towards Robin who’s seated in one of the benches that line the edge of the open field of grass where the kids slowly spread out into their own respective groups. He spies Max and Jane, hand in hand and settling down to sit across the way to watch the rest of the kids. Steve assumes they’re catching up for the time that was lost during the summer.

He watches as Max’s face lights up, animated with whatever conversation she’s having with Jane. They set up the cards to start playing their game of Uno. Suzie slowly approaches, seems to ask a question before taking a seat in the circle with them to play, the book she requested forgotten beside her.

“Wipe that smile off your face Steve, it was me who made that happen. I’m the one who went out on the quest of Children’s Demands. Just look at the fruits of my labor. Happy children! Happy children everywhere.” She smirks as she shakes her head. She takes a moment to look around, mentally counting the number of kids before them, smiling wide as she whispers “thirteen,” and tips her head back to soak in the sun.

“We were only twelve not even five minutes ago. Now we’re for sure outnumbered here, Robs.”

“It’s seven-to-one, Mr. Airhead-ington. We’d need 2 more kids before we’re officially outnumbered in Murray’s books.” She sways from her seat, eyes still closed as she sighs contently.

Steve hums, eyes still on Max in the distance, occasionally making sweeps to account for the rest of the kids. “Did she mention anything to you?”

“Max? No. Asked what she wanted to do, if she was okay but then Jane had her arm and was pulling her away from me before I could get an answer. I won’t pry, not yet. There’s a smile on her face that I want to stay there a while longer before we try to pry.” Robin’s head snaps up, eyes squinting against the sun. “What about Eddie, did he mention anything after you gawked at him in the hallway before he left?”

“Nah, he didn’t seem comfortable sharin– wait- excuse me, I wasn’t gawking , I was-”

“Drooling.”

“Robin.”

“Fine! Admiring, then,” Robin laughs, hiding her smile behind her hands before she playfully shoves Steve.

“I was- fine, I was staring ,” he enunciates the word, hands moving dramatically before him as he continues. “It was kinda weird to see them come in together like that, is all. I was, what’s that SAT word- dumbfounded .”

“That’s not an SAT word.”

Quick roll of his eyes. “Anyway, he didn’t say anything. Just that he’s been helping her and her mom out this summer and that he’ll be back to pick her up before five.” Steve rakes a hand through his hair. His eyes wander back to Max, Jane, and Suzie. “Glad to see she’s okay at least.”

“Yeah… we’ll just have to wait and see if she decides to open up to us. At least she found Eddie.”

“At least she found Eddie.”

part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8

[elvisabutler]

love is all that i can give to you

summary: vampires in theory should not be able to procreate. you learn through a bit of an accident that such a theory is wrong. vampires being protective though? that's a theory that's pretty damn true.

fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 )

rating: t-ish? there's a bit of cursing, mild implications of violence, i'd peg it as a t.

word count: 3566

tw: blood mention, vampires, implications of hurting other people, werewolves, twilight jokes because do you really enjoy twilight to some degree if you can't joke about it? pregnancy and babies. a very blink and you miss it mention of child loss and a small mention of austin's mom.

author's note: so. once upon a time i posted an austin as a vampire fic called heart's got teeth. had blood kink, we all loved it. or like some people loved it and then life moved on. however, @diva-1992 requested vampire baby fic in the simplest forms. i said hey i should get it done within a week. that was a month ago and i'd like to formally apologize, things went real weird in my life. however, i do honor my requests when i say i'm gonna do them so hope this did what you wanted, my dear and i'd- promise that if you request something from me again i won't take this long but honestly, much like my "how long will this series be?" estimates are, my "how long will this take to write?" estimates are not the most accurate ever. i've also rewritten this more times than i want to count. not beta read but gave it a quick once over. whatever i missed blame on my two hours of sleep.

"You smell weird." Darce says one day when you're out for coffee, an old habit that started while Austin was filming Elvis and you found yourself wanting to know more about his costars. It's comfortable and routine enough by now that despite the whirlwind that's become Austin's and your life since the release of Elvis, you purposefully make time for it in your schedule. Still, when Darce says things like that out of the blue you have to question why you still choose to hang out with the man.

"Is that your way of telling me I need to shower?" You ask slowly, taking a sip of your peppermint tea. "Because I literally showered like 10 minutes before I met you here. I know I didn't sweat that bad already."

He laughs, shaking his head. "No, it's- you normally smell like your perfume or shampoo but today you don't. You smell kind of like a bakery. Like the bread cooking, maybe a pastry? I don't know what exactly it is, it's just weird. Because I don’t know where I’m getting that smell from.”

You scrunch up your nose partially because you feel a roll of nausea overcome you at the idea of food, which- when did start to get hungry this quickly after eating- and partially because there’s zero reason you should smell like that. In the end you end up just shrugging. “Maybe you’re smelling the girls behind us. They definitely look like they’ve got some of that Bath and Body Works Vanilla stuff going on.”

Darce just laughs and his comment is quickly forgotten until later on that night when Austin says nearly the same thing.

"You taste off." Austin looks at you confused as he pulls away from your neck after taking a sip. “Are you-”

"What the hell? First Darce, now you?" You cut Austin off in a huff, attempting to pull yourself up the bed and out from under him. ‘If I call Kelvin or Alton or Olivia, are they going to tell me I sound weird? I’m pretty sure I’m not hearing weird unless I hallucinated you saying that and I can see you right in front of me looking like you didn’t just tell me I taste off.”

Austin can see that you’re working yourself up and while he has found you very attractive when you get angry, he’s not in the mood to deal with it right now and honestly he’s just as confused as you about Darce saying you smell weird combined with you tasting off somehow to him. 

“Baby- I’m not- you taste almost like you’re sick.” He pauses and very quickly follows that with more of an explanation. “I don’t think you are sick, before you start worrying. But you just taste different. Like my taste buds are telling me not to drink from you. I can't explain it. I've never really experienced this before."

Somehow that was the wrong thing to say because you very quickly follow it up with. “Oh, so now I taste like something you shouldn’t drink from. You’ve just developed an aversion to me, okay. That’s great. I get what, a few months of you drinking from me until your body decides nope, go find another-”

The growl that leaves Austin’s mouth when he kisses you trying to get you to hush up is a warning. He only ever really does it when he starts to get angry and right now hearing you go down the line of thinking he can tell you’re going down is making him see red. He wants to drink from you, he wants to turn you, he wants everything with you and he’s told you this a million times but somehow it always escapes you when your brain is making you doubt his undying- literally- love for you. 

He pulls away and his hand just grazes the side of your face. “Darling. I love you more than anything I’ve ever seen in this world. No amount of my body deciding that it’s not okay for me to drink your blood will change that. Calm down. I’ll ask one of my older vampire friends. Okay? They might have experience with this sort of thing.”

You nuzzle at his hand, your temper cooling just a bit because he’s right. He does love you so very much and he reminds you of that every day. “You promise?”

He smiles slightly and kisses your forehead. “Promise.”

He actually forgets to ask because despite not drinking from you- well you happen to enjoy the night anyway. But the whole thing is forgotten anyway until one night a few weeks later when you’ve fallen asleep as you’ve been doing so often lately and Austin comes home from a hunt to hear your heart beating far too fast for everything to be okay. He trips over a chair or two before he gets to your shared room only to find you fast asleep. Breathing just fine with your nightgown a little tight over your chest but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He looks at your sleeping form in confusion trying to focus on the heartbeat he hears only to realize it’s not yours.If he focuses enough he can hear yours sounding normal but the overwhelming one, the one that has him falling to his knees is still coming from you just not where your heart is. 

“You’re- Holy shit, you’re pregnant.” He whispers to himself knowing fully well you're still asleep and that you're not awake to hear him. You’re pregnant and he didn’t even realize that was possible but the proof is there, he can hear a heartbeat that beats faster than yours centered in your lower abdomen. You’re pregnant with his child that he figured he’d never have. He wants to wake you up and tell you, but he’s covered in blood right now and you need your sleep. God that was why you had been so tired, you were- He would tell you tomorrow morning but for now he was going to shower and curl up with his head next to your stomach just listening to your child’s heartbeat.

When you wake up it’s hard to do so, partially because waking up in general is hard right now- you’ve been so tired that you’re seriously considering going to the doctor to figure out what’s going wrong. But the other reason is that you have an Austin shaped lump kissing on your stomach. That’s weird but not entirely unheard of, especially if he’s in a mood.

“Austin?” You question, your hand moving to his head and just sort of gliding through his hair. ”Hi baby, what are you doing?”

He hums against your stomach and you can’t help but giggle at the sensation. “Kissing my baby.” His lips curl into a smirk at the joke he makes that he gets but you don’t. 

“Oh.” You respond before using you grip to pull him just slightly away from your stomach so he can look up at you. “Uh huh. Kissing your baby. I’m up here. You’re kissing my stomach.”

Austin bites his lip and just looks so happy that you are wondering what the hell is going on. Did he drink from a drunk person? Is he drunk? Is he high? What is happening right now? Your eyes narrow just a tad while Austin just grins at you, his lower lip still being slightly bitten by one of his canines. “No. I’m kissing my baby.”

You understand the words that just came out of his mouth but your brain fails to properly process them until you just stare at Austin’s grin for just a little bit longer and notice his hands are cupping your stomach. “You’re kissing your baby. I’m- Are you telling me I’m- you’re a vampire.”

“I know.” He whispers, moving from his position in your lap and up to your face where he just places a hand on either side of your face. “I can hear them, darling. That’s- You’re definitely pregnant. I don’t know how but-”

“I’m pregnant with your baby.” You manage to state, wide eyed and in such shock you feel a bit of nausea at the thought. “That you didn’t realize I could have. Oh my god.”

He nods and the grin just stays on his face as he gives you a kiss, it’s soft and gentle, almost as if he’s scared you’ll break before he pulls away. “You’re pregnant with my baby. That explains why I couldn’t drink from you. I’m not- it’s the one rule vampires have and I guess our bodies won’t even let us do it either. You taste off because you’re not just you. You’re you and our baby.”

“Our baby.” You let out a nervous laugh. You’re happy, but this is so sudden and so unexpected you don’t quite know how to react. “I- I need to go to the doctor, oh god what if it’s not human- I mean I’d still love it anyway but- Aus! I can’t drink blood what if it needs blood-” Austin shushes you with a finger to your lips.

“You would have already been craving it, baby. And all I think you’ve wanted is steak and spinach which have iron and that’s a normal pregnancy thing, I think. Ashley- no Ashley had to deal with that so that’s a normal pregnancy thing. We’ll go to the doctor, get you checked out. I’ll call up the older vampires I know. See what I can find out. We’ll- if anyone can do this, it’s you."

There's times when Austin annoys you and makes you want to drive a stake through his heart because he's being just that much of a pain in your ass. This isn't one of them, this is one of those times you find yourself so overcome with love that all you really want to do is kiss him over and over again. You sniffle a little, tears of what you think are joy threatening to spill out before you kiss Austin softly. "Austin Butler, you don't need to say something as charming as that, you've already got me pregnant."

"I'm only telling my goddess of a girlfriend the truth." He replies simply before pulling you out of bed. "Now, mama, I think you deserve a special breakfast made by your very appreciative baby daddy."

The thing is Austin before you were pregnant was protective which was fun. It was hot even, but since he found out you were pregnant it’s gotten so much worse.You swear you can’t even leave the house without him following behind you making sure you don’t fall down the two steps outside of his house and of course he needs to walk you to the car. Now that he’s at the car, oh well he might as well come with you and scare off anyone who comes anywhere within a 5 foot radius of you and your stomach.The amount of times you had to apologize for Austin’s behavior increased the further along you were. It all came to a head one day when you were going to go out for your lunch date with Darce. He had been filming a new movie and so you hadn’t seen him for months in person. He hadn’t seen you in person for months, sure you had told him you and Austin were expecting but- there was a difference between that and seeing you in person. 

“I’ll be back in a couple hours!” You shout heading to the door knowing fully well that Austin is practicing his lines for his upcoming shoot. “Love you, Aus!”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” He asks, popping his head out of the room he was in. “I can bring the script with me, it’s not a big deal.”

“It’s lunch with Darce, Austin. It’s harmless.” Your hand strays to your stomach and rubs it, more out of comfort than anything else. “I’ll be fine, I promise.” 

His eyebrow quirks up. “It’s with Darce? I thought-” You hold your hand up.

“Not another word, Mr. Butler. I will see you later, go read your lines.” You smile before making a quick getaway or what you thought was a quick getaway.

When you see Darce at the restaurant you can’t help the way you grin and end up just barreling into him with the biggest hug you could manage. Rather than just letting you hug him he picked you up, mindful of your bump. He puts you down and motions for you to twirl which you do without question. 

“You look phenomenal and I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, Austin is a lucky man.” Darce pulls out your chair and waits for you to sit down. “How did you get him to let you leave his sight? I’ve seen the stories.”

You groan. “I practically ran out of the house. He was mildly offended when i told him it was you I was going out with.” 

Darce opens his mouth before shutting it with what sounds like a mix of a groan and sigh. You can’t help but tilt your head and raise an eyebrow waiting for him to say whatever has him making that noise. “I’m not- Really not surprised.” 

Now it was your turn to be making the weird noise because you’re confused. Honestly, the way Austin had been protecting you was weird but you pegged it as him wanting to protect something he didn’t know you two could have. You could understand that, but separating you from a friend? Someone who he also defines as at least somewhat of a friend just didn’t make sense. There had to be another reason because you know that Darce would protect you just like he’d protect any of his friends. “Why? Because from where I’m standing it’s just my boyfriend being mildly controlling because I’m pregnant. But maybe that’s just me.”

There is a moment when Darce just looks into the distance behind you like he has seen a thousand lifetimes pass before his eyes. It occurs to you that maybe Austin is madman and is behind you, but when you don’t hear Darce say Austin’s name you realize it’s just that Darce doesn’t want to answer the question. You start to open your mouth to speak before- “Probably because I’m a werewolf and his brain is telling him I’m going to eat you and your kid.”

“You’re not a cannibal- Hold- What.” You brain had only really processed the words going to eat you and your kid, nothing else originally but once you started speaking your brain caught up fairly quickly and you find that your head is swimming a little before you speak again. “Did you just- You’re a werewolf? You- I think I’m going to pass out.”

“Please don’t.” Darce says very quickly as soon as you start breathing a little quicker. “I thought you knew.”

“You-” You force yourself to take a calming breath because stress wasn’t good for the baby but if looks could kill the one you give Darce would do it. “In what universe do you think I assume that everyone I meet is a supernatural entity. My boyfriend being one is an anomaly and for statistical purposes I don’t count it in my daily assumption/allotment of supernatural creatures. I didn’t think-” You pause. “No one assumes vampires and werewolves are real. I can be forgiven for not thinking you were a werewolf. Were you ever going to tell me this? Was he?”

And almost as if Austin had suddenly turned into Beetlejuice or just sensed something was wrong you feel the very familiar arms of your boyfriend wrapping around your shoulders. “No, because I assumed you knew. He’s not subtle about it. Look at him.”

Any other time Austin’s arms would be a comforting balm for you but all it inspires in you in that exact moment is bit of rage and overwhelming annoyance. Your voice drops to a very sharp whisper. “You remember how I reacted when you told me you were a vampire, right honey? How I was surprised? Hm. Now what makes you think I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Darce fucking Montgomery is a werewolf. Get your arms off me, darling. I’m mad and I don’t think you’re gonna like me mad right now.”

“Baby-” Austin starts before you cut him off.

“Y/N-” Darce also starts before you cut him off in the same breath.

“No. Both of you. I-” You shrug your shoulders to get Austin’s arms off your shoulders and move to get up out of your chair, a little slower than you’d like which gives austin enough time to try and stop you. “No, I’m going to go home- I’ll leave the two of you to have a little supernatural tete a tete.” 

“Darling-” He stops himself while trying to grab ahold of your shoulders. “You know- Look at me I didn’t mean anything by not telling you. I honestly thought you knew because you took me being a vampire so well- don’t- I just want to protect you and Kenna Rose.”

You look up at Austin focusing on his eyes and how he looks like he’s liable to cry in public, something he’s never been a fan of doing even before Elvis and his newfound larger fame. It’s a sign that he’s being genuine and it makes your shoulders loosen a little and the tension to leave your frame. Austin’s still looking at you and his hand moves to your stomach when your daughter chooses that moment to actually kick at where Austin’s palm is. Any tension and most of the anger that was still in your system just sort of floats away once you see Austin’s small smile at the gesture. You’re still annoyed and both him and Darce owe you a number of things to make up for this but maybe they weren’t completely silly for thinking you knew. 

“I know Aus.” You whisper, nuzzling at his neck and placing a soft kiss there. “You’re just being- really overbearing. I know you want to protect me. And I know that you want to protect Kenna Lori Rose.” His eyebrows go up at the use of his mother’s name breaking up the name he thought you two had decided on for your daughter. “I’m not complaining about that, but Austin, trust me to know when I’m doing too much and to protect myself. I don’t want to lose her any more than you do.”

Darce pipes up from his seat. “Austin, you know you’re part of the pack- my pack at least. All three of you, I couldn’t hurt them if I tried. My wolf would rather I jump in front of a bunch of silver bullets.”

You snicker and Austin looks at you with a bit of admonishment before exhaling and getting on his knees to press a soft kiss to your stomach. Your hand moves to touch his head, your fingers running through his long locks in a bit of comfort. “I know that, Y/N. She’s just special to- I never thought I’d have a kid since I was turned and you’re giving me one. I’m getting one from the most perfect human I’ve ever met.” He places another kiss, knowing fully well that someone is probably hiding a bush across the street with a camera taking a picture of this but he can’t bring himself to care. “And you’re- Kenna Lori Rose, you snuck that one on me, darling. Naming her partially after my mom.”

The smile that crosses your lips as you shrug is soft and barely there. “She’s a miracle and her due date is on the 27th. How could I not?”

His hand moves to his eyes to wipe at them as he stands up and pulls you close to his chest. “You really had no choice.” 

“I mean, I did, but I knew it would mean something to you.” You pause and look over at Darce before turning back to Austin. “So, can I enjoy my lunch date or does Mr. Overprotective Dad need to make sure I’m eating my veggies.” 

Austin has the decency to look chagrined before he holds up his hands. “Enjoy away, I’m pretty sure Jupiter and Ashley would welcome me with open arms today.” His lips sneak a quick kiss and his hand sneaks a quick brush of your bump before he lets you go back to sitting down. He looks at Darce. “Take care of her this lunch and we’ll talk about that whole godfather thing.”

Darce doesn’t say a word when you narrow your eyes at him. You wait until Austin’s out of earshot before you say the one joke that’s actually been in the back of your mind. “This isn’t some weird imprinting thing like Twilight, right?”

Darce’s laughter almost gets the pair of you kicked out of the restaurant. 

You get your answer when Kenna is born and the first person other than you and Austin to hold her is him. It’s not. It’s just a werewolf protecting his most fragile pack member just like Austin’s thing was him protecting his coven’s most fragile member. 

It doesn’t stop after she’s born and you’re okay with it.

[oilivia]

“Be a good girl and spread your legs” - w/ Kuroo, Atsumu & Suga

request:  Ummmm, idk if you're still taking requests, but could I get prompt 20. With Atsumu, Kuroo, and Suga? Pls and thank chu!

a/n: these were super fun to write and i somehow ended up with three very different things, but i hope you’ll enjoy! please be mindful of the tws, i’m posting them separately for each drabble. no beta! smut under the cut.

pairings: Kuroo w/ virgin reader & slight corruption; Suga w/ daddy kink & dumbification; Atsumu w/ cowgirl, wholesome

wording: 2.1k

if you want to request drabbles, i have a list of prompts here, but please read my rules first here.

Kuroo

tw: implied virginity, fingering, oral (f receving), slight corruption

“Tetsu-” you moan softly, your hands sinking in his hair, his lips sucking at the delicate skin of your neck. That will leave a mark, but you don’t care. The fact that you are in his dorm room and his roommate could open the door any minute slips from your mind as you feel his hands knead your clothed breasts. All that matters is how good it all feels, how it leaves you wanting more, how his calloused fingers know just where to touch you.

“Be a good girl and spread your legs,” he asks, voice laced with honey. If it was up to him, he’d rip the clothes off of you, free your pretty tits so he could sink his teeth into your perky nipples. But no, he has to take it slow. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you from the start, he doesn’t want you running away from him. You’re so sweet and innocent and your body isn’t used to being touched by a man. You writhe under his fingers, goosebumps littering your skin. He won’t lie, he loves it. Even though his cock twitches painfully in his pants from the lack of friction. He’ll just build you up, steadily and patiently, until you’re on your knees begging for him to fuck you.

Kuroo can see just how shy you are, how you hesitate for a second at his command, your eyes darting to his as if you want to make sure you understood correctly. He smiles sweetly, pressing his hands on the inside of your thighs and pushes them apart slowly. He watches you intently, grinning internally when he sees how you cover your mouth with your hand, averting your eyes as if to hide from his gaze. It’s so cute how embarrassed you are.

Your chest heaves, your breathing shallow. Your whole body feels as if you have a fever - your skin’s burning up, a dull ache in your abdomen. He kneels in front of you and when you feel his finger lightly trace your clothed slit a loud whine escapes you.

He would tease you, tell you that he knows how desperate you are for his cock by the way the wet spot on your white panties grows with his every touch. But he can’t do it yet. He’ll keep the teasing remarks to himself for now, content to watch the string of slick still connecting your folds to your panties when he tugs them down. Your body isn’t as innocent as you are.

“Can I?” he asks, a playful smile on his lips when he sees you nod sheepishly.

Kuroo can’t help but grin when he sees how tight you are, how he’s barely able to push his finger past your entrance. Your moans get louder when you feel his tongue press on your clit, swiping the sensitive nub as his digit thrusts in and out of you incessantly. Will you really cum just from this?

Your walls clench, your body twisting as the pressure in your abdomen snaps, waves of pleasure rippling through you. Your juices spill on his hand as he keeps fucking into you, savoring the lewd expressions on your face as you come undone for him. You’re so beautiful, exquisitely so.

And if that’s how you react to just one finger and a few strokes of his tongue, he can’t wait to see how pretty you’ll look creaming on his cock, the fucked out expressions you’ll be making. Sometimes being patient pays off and Kuroo is sure this is definitely one of those times.

Suga

tw: hard dom Suga, daddy kink, dumbification, infantilization, praise, edging, overstim, dacryphilia, sex toys, mentions of alcohol  

When you met Suga you thought he was just another pretty boy, nothing too special. The kind you take home to your parents or marry after you’re done experimenting.

“Be a good girl and spread your legs,” he commands, sharp eyes fixed on your body.

Turns out, his favorite pastime is watching you squirm as he fucks your brains out. All it took was stumbling into his bed one night after work, both of you drunk and lonely. And now you spent most evenings on your knees servicing his cock and waiting for him to take pity on you and stretch your walls.

You comply, opening your thighs and giving Suga a perfect view of your pretty cunt, soaked and throbbing. A small vibrator buzzes happily inside, pulling soft whimpers from your throat. He pushed it inside you on the lowest setting more than an hour ago - punishment for being late. The setting that isn’t high enough to get you off, but it’s high enough to make a mess out of your hole, to have you begging for him to let you cum.

“You look so good like this, you know? Like a dumb little baby, look how your cunny gushes.” He kneels between your legs, scooping the liquid between your folds with a finger “You like having that vibe inside you, hmm? Does it feel good?” He questions, his tone belittling. But you don’t care. All you care about is how good that tiny touch felt. You want to ask for more, but you know how much Suga hates it when you speak out of turn, so you settle on answering his question.

“I-It feels good, daddy,” your voice feels so small and broken as soft moans escape between each of your words. He smiles and your heart swells. You did good, he likes your answer. He watches you proudly. When you two met you were such a little brat. He worked so hard to make you behave, to make you into the dumb little fuckdoll that you are now. He loves you so much.

“That’s my baby. Now, tell me, will you be late again?” His palm is raised over your aching clit, ready to slap the bundle of nerves if you say the wrong thing.

“N-No, daddy,” you try. He smiles again. You sigh with relief, your chest rising and falling with your every breath, your nipples perked from the rush of emotions.

“Good girl,” he coos. His fingers find your clit, rubbing and pinching. “Is this what you want? You want me to let you cum?”

You nod desperately, cries and pleads erupting from your throat as  you feel your climax within your reach. Just a little bit more and you’ll cum. You let out a whine when he stops and pulls the vibe out of you - you were so close.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Suga tugs down his boxers, his cock springing, large and throbbing. You lick your lips in anticipation. He gets between your thighs once more, aligning his tip with your hole. He pushes it in, torturously slow. Your legs are on his shoulders, your hands pinned above your head by his strong grip. He chuckles when he sees the way you squirm, how hard you’re trying to get more of his cock inside your plush walls. “You’re such a dumb little baby, so needy for me. You can’t cum without daddy’s help. What would you do without me, hmm?”

“I-I need m-more, daddy, please,” you beg, tears welling up in your eyes. Your insides felt like they were on fire. And you were so close to the sweet release of your orgasm. If only daddy took pity on his little baby and helped her cum.

“If you’re asking so nicely.” Suga slams his hips into yours, shoving the rest of his cock against your cervix all at once. He thinks you look so cute with your salty tears streaming down your face. You don’t last long, not with the pace at which he’s rutting into you. Your mind goes blank, tongue lolling out of your open mouth, your body convulsing under Suga’s. And he keeps thrusting into you, not even letting you catch your breath. You climax again, harder than the first time, your head dizzy, body going limp. Your walls are clamming on his cock, squeezing it and milking him for every last drop of his cum.

“My pretty baby, so good for me,” he whispers as he gives you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Let me clean you up and I’ll cuddle you.” You don’t even hear his last words as you succumb to sleep, your exhaustion overtaking you.

Atsumu

tw: cowgirl, nipple play, kinda wholesome, Atsumu says baby twice, somehow this one ended up super sweet

Were you always such a tease? Atsumu asks himself as he stares at the way your tits bounce, threatening to spill from your low-cut dress. You’re skipping towards him, huge smile on your face and arms open to engulf him in a hug. You haven’t seen each other in a while, not since you moved to a different city for your job. But none of that matters now - you’re back.

Just like you’re back on his lap fifteen minutes later. Your lips are wrapped around his, your hands playing with the hem of his pants. You taste just as good as he remembers. God, how he missed you. He sucks on your tongue, his fingers pinching your nipples. He smirks when he realizes you’re not wearing a bra. He always hated how those pesky things got in the way of his touches. You bite his bottom lip when he pulls away from the kiss and you smile, a devilish glint dancing in your eyes.

“Did I give you permission to stop?” You tease and he laughs. You’re even feistier than he remembers.

“Fuck, baby, I missed you so much,” his fingers dig into your back as he breathes deeply, taking in your intoxicating scent. “Be a good girl and spread your legs.”

He thinks your cocky smirk is adorable. “When was I ever a good girl, ‘Tsumu?” Still, you oblige, not because he asked you to, but because you want it just as much as he does. You move to straddle his lap, your hand between your bodies, stroking his cock through his pants. His mouth crashes with yours again in a sloppy kiss, tongues twisting as you swallow each other’s moans.

“You want me?” you question, your clouded eyes lying on his, mouth slightly open as you pant trying to catch your breath. His cock twitches at the hypnotizing sight - you could’ve asked him for anything right now and he would oblige.

“What do you think?”

“I think you can’t wait to bury your cock in my cunt,” a smirk plastered on your face as you reach for his boxers, rubbing your thumb in circles over his leaking tip. He hisses at the unexpected touch.

“You know I do.” Lifting yourself on your tiptoes, you pull your panties aside with a grin, placing Atsumu’s tip at your drenched entrance. You gasp as you slowly sink on his cock, relishing the way his girth spreads your ravenous cunt, inch by agonizing inch. You’re not prepped and even though you’re wet, your tight walls burn as his tip pushes inside you. But you couldn’t wait, not with his tantalizing cock finally within your grasp.

The way you’re riding him, arms wrapped around his shoulders, naked tits pressed against his taut chest is driving him crazy with lust. Why did he ever let you go? Your moans sound so sweet and he whispers your name in your ear, over and over, like a prayer. He licks at the shell of your ear and your cries get louder. You gyrate your hips, his palms resting on your waist as he meets your thrusts halfway.

“Your cock feels so good, ‘Tsumu,” you mewl as you pick up the pace, chasing your high with each slam of your hips.

“And you’re so fucking tight. Fuck, baby, look at me. I want to see your face when you cum,” your cunt is clenching snugly around his cock at Atsumu’s words. You indulge him. He watches you bend and undulate as you grind against him faster and faster. He feels his own climax build up and just as your body thrashes in his arms with your orgasm, he fills you up with his cum, his tip resting against your cervix.

“Let’s stay like this for a bit,” Atsumu mutters and you nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck, humming in agreement.

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