#with symbols on it that indicate their hopes and dreams for the kid

[kanerallels]

Coming up with a cool worldbuilding thing in my book series will prevent me from tearing out my hair

[mirieru]

Stray Kids Next Comeback ⋆𐙚

Hello everyone, have a nice day, I got the idea to try to find out details about the upcoming comeback of Stray Kids.

Comeback theme ❘ 8 pentacles + 10 swords + 7 cups at the bottom of the deck

The theme of this comeback will be hard work and dedication, this comeback will be more mature and more complex, as it requires time and hard work. The 10 of swords represent suffering, which can refer to the struggle of making music, and the 7 of cups represent confusion and indecision. So the theme will be more mature, complex and hard-working, requiring more dedication, so expect something grand and ambitious. Overall theme is that of hard work and being persistent to achieve your dreams and goals. The theme will also be partly about self-love, confidence and acceptance, and participants will have a new look to reflect who they have become.

"What genre of music will the title song of the next comeback be?" ❘ queen of wands + priest + 3 pentacles at the bottom of the deck

The queen of wands represent excitement and passion which also implies speed, i can see a genre that is fast, fun with a catchy tune or beat and with the 3 pentacles at the bottom which indicate a hardwork in progress, i am seeing something like a hiphop. the song will be a powerful, confident and lively song, the priest suggests that it will have a little bit of spirituality to it, it will have lyrics that make people feel hopeful and inspired. The 3 pentacles show the hardwork and determination put into the song, the song will be very good and it will be something people will not forget easily. The song will be very lively with catchy rhythm and lyrics, also it will be easy to follow, as for the 3 pentacles that shows the message of the song will be about hard work and progress, the message of this comeback will motivate people to become better.

"What will be the visual theme for the title video?" ❘ page of swords + 2 wands + 7 cups at the bottom of the deck

The visual theme for the title video will be fun and youthful, it will show a group who is free and enjoys life to its fullest, there will be a lot of energy in the video, also people will be able recognize some of the members personalities through the theme. The cups indicates that this video will also have an emotional aspect to it, i sense that the viewers might get to see a more personal side of the members. I can see that the comeback will have a very strong, maybe mystical and powerful vibe, strong colors, with hints to black magic or possibly rituals. The two Wands and seven Cups indicate a lot of energy and power, the Wands is usually related to the power of life and death and the seven cups is related to emotions and possibly something related to romance. You should expect something very powerful for the visual theme of the comeback of Stray Kids. The music video will have a strong focus on dialogue, and strong visuals, with strong colors and imagery. There will be strong use of symbolism and the theme might also have a message of justice. There will be a strong focus on communication, and the theme might also involve some kind of message involving the concept of conflict and peace.

"Will the title song of the next comeback focus more on vocals or rap?" ❘ Ace of Pentacles + Page of Swords + 7 Swords at the bottom of the deck

According to the cards, the next Stray Kids Title song is going to be more centered around vocals, with rap parts also played a prominent role in the song. However, vocals will play a more significant role in the song compared to rap. The vocals are going to be powerful and emotional, with strong meanings and will have a strong impact on the overall song. The song will likely have some rap, but the focus will be on vocals. The song will have a powerful and energetic vibe in terms of rhythm, and a strong chorus.

"Will the next comeback be like any of the past?" ❘ chariot + 8 wands + 6 swords on the bottom of the deck

Stray Kids' next comeback will be unlike any of their past comebacks, it will have a unique sound and style and will showcase the members' growth and mature. The song will have a powerful and energetic rhythm, with a strong chorus and catchy lyrics. New terms of lyrics, sounds, visuals, concept, etc. The music itself will also feature new sounds and elements than what was heard before, making it something fresh and unique. Visuals and concept will also be new and unique.

"Which side of themselves will the members show the most? (like sexy or childish, etc.)" ❘ hermit + 10 pentacles + world at the bottom of the deck

This card combination indicates that the members will show a very mature and sophisticated side of themselves for this comeback, with a focus on emotional maturity. There will be a lot of focus on their inner strength, their own personal wisdom and experience. In terms of visuals, concepts and lyrics, there will be a mature and sophisticated vibe, with a touch of elegance. There will be a lot of focus on emotional maturity, so members will be shown as mature, wise and sophisticated. They will not be portrayed as sexy or childish, but rather as someone who has learned a lot from life and who has gained lots of wisdom.

THANK YOU FOR READING 🐰

*Based on tarot

[bestbonnist]

The anime messing with Kahaku slightly in a way that I don't like: Episode 9

HE'S uuuuhhgrrrrrhgghhhhh..... he's still wearing the Guardians' symbol even after learning what Hayase did to Fushi and their friends. In the manga he never wears it again, which indicates that he's no longer placing his faith in Fushi as a god but in Fushi as a person. And the anime staff apparently thought that Ooima just got tired of drawing it... Anime Kahaku still wants to be associated with the person who murdered Parona. Anime Kahaku is still attached to his position as the leader of the Guardians. Anime Kahaku learned nothing during the Uralis arc.

The fact that anime Kahaku has the audacity to be upset that Parona's gone when he's wearing the sign that Hayase appropriated / This fucking guy.

I'm going to try to explain why it's out of character for Kahaku to be upset that Parona's form at this point in time is missing as briefly as possible, which is difficult to do without turning this into a full-blown character essay, but I will manage somehow.

In Episode 8, Fushi told Kahaku that they still needed him, and that he should "enjoy these changes too." Kahaku, having learned the truth about the Guardians' origins and ostensibly ruined everything, had no hope for the future. After hearing Fushi's words, he realized that he could still be useful ("useful" and "loved" are the same thing to Kahaku), and decided to follow them again. So: Kahaku is currently in love with and devoted to Fushi as Fushi, not as anyone else. Arguably, that was always the case, and liking Parona was a convenient excuse because he didn't want to admit that he was gay. Kahaku continues to use his crush on Parona as self-defense mechanism in this new arc of the story, but for different reasons.

On its own, Kahaku's love for Fushi is too self-destructive. We've seen hints of this in the anime, and it's just going to keep getting worse from here. Fushi is a reason to die, not a reason to live. You can blame this one on the Guardians expecting their successors to sacrifice their lives for their cause and Kahaku's fondness for romance novels, kids. Getting married to Parona is obviously never going to happen—she's not even alive, Fushi would never agree to it, and Kahaku was never really in love with her anyways. Even though Kahaku is aware of this he continues to lie to himself—if he can just get through this, his dreams will become a reality—as a way of motivating himself.

All of which is to say that Kahaku should not be reacting with shock and dismay to Parona's form being stolen. Theoretically, he and Parona-Fushi will get married but practically she's just another one of Fushi's forms.

No stutter :(

You know I hate to say this after spending four hundred words praising Kahaku for genuinely caring about Fushi and estranging himself from his family but he is not the kind of person who would be glad that Fushi was fine by themselves. A character stuttering usually means they're unsure about something. Kahaku stuttering on the line "thank goodness" makes it sound like he's not actually grateful that they're safe. Coupled with his insistence on "proving himself" by killing a knocker later in the scene, he was probably hoping that Fushi would be in danger so that he could save them. Shitty, yes, but totally on brand and super interesting characterization. The conflict between wanting Fushi to be happy and wanting Fushi to love him is an ongoing struggle of Kahaku's in this arc. Why would they even change this line? It's such a small thing, why did the anime staff choose to take it out??

[cookinguptales]

wwdits tarot: the star

Time now for one of the most positive, sweet cards in the entire deck, which makes it a difficult one for the WWDITS-verse. :’)

It’s XVII. The Star!

The tarot deck is often conceptualized as a journey starting out as someone naive and inexperienced (The Fool) and finding completion at The World. So some of the cards have a vibe of progression to them.

The Star is definitely one of those cards. A lot of negative and/or difficult cards have been coming lately (Hanged Man, Death, Devil, Tower) and The Star very much gives you the vibe that you have finally come out on the other side. It’s a card of faith and hope and optimism, and it feels like a sigh of relief.

The Star is a card that generally indicates that you have gone through something terrible, but you have survived it. You are now feeling renewed and hopeful. It’s a card of inspiration and spirituality, and it really encourages you to follow your dreams now that you’re in a really good place.

It’s just… sweet, y’know?

Admittedly, sweetness is in kind of short supply in WWDITS. Most characters, when they are being kind, are only doing it reluctantly or with ulterior motives. Even Guillermo tends to have selfish reasoning more often than not, and his optimism is always tinged with desperation.

When I think about a character who just seems sweet and optimistic with their new lease on life… I gotta give it to Marwa, y’know? Like this card implies, she is always looking up at the sky in hope and wonder.

(RIP, pour one out for a real one, taken from us too soon, etc.)

Marwa, I think, has gone through two of the worst experiences a person can go through in this series: true death and being married to Nandor the Relentless. (I am only partially kidding.) But as bitter as she could be about her circumstances, Marwa actually seems to view her position with a lot of optimism. She’s happy to be alive again, and she’s excited to be in the modern world. She has faith, to some degree, that this relationship will work out with her husband, and she wants to return to her love of astronomy.

She certainly starts to doubt her relationship with Nandor more and more as the series progresses (and rightfully so) but even when she was truly considering calling the wedding off, she seemed to be approaching things intelligently and without sorrow.

(You have to do a lot of supposition with Marwa; we so rarely got to hear her true thoughts.)

It can be a little difficult to separate Marwa’s true passions from those that Nandor imposed upon her, but we do have some hints here and there. We know that she was very close with her parents, who allowed her to become a fairly distinguished scholar. We know that she was passionate about astronomy and the stars above.

So let’s focus on that.

I feel like astronomy is one of those intrinsically hopeful sciences. You have to look up at the sky above and see all of the magic in it, then you have to think — I want to know more about that. You have to want to reach up high and brush your fingers against ideas that humanity has only begun to consider.

Like — while Nandor was imagining a turtle, Marwa was considering the stars.

So I feel like it’s only proper that she get such a sweet, hopeful card and be put right up there with the celestial bodies she studied. It suits her bright personality, before it was dimmed, and her propensity to look upwards rather than down.

Now. Onto some imagery.

The RSW version of The Star portrays a nude woman beneath a sky full of stars. She is pouring water from both hands, one into a pool and one into the earth, nourishing it. She has one foot in the water and one on solid ground, symbolizing both her spiritual nature and her grounded one.

For Marwa, I think she can keep her clothes on. The nudity traditionally symbolizes purity, but I think she’s plenty pure all on her own.

In my version of The Star, Marwa still has two cups and stands in two worlds, but those worlds are that of humans and vampires. For her, both are the realm of the undead.

I think, then, that she should be pouring blood back into its own pool — but the other jug should be emptying upward. Not down toward the earth but up toward the sky. And it shouldn’t be blood, but fire going up into the atmosphere to become stars above her.

For all her sweetness, Marwa has a unique fire to her. She doesn’t give up when other wives do, and she always makes the best of her shitty situations. So I think instead of nourishing water, that’s what suits her best. Blood and fire.

Man. She deserved so much better.

wwdits tarot masterpost

[harostar]

Man, they knew the internet would explode. They’ve been waiting nearly a decade for this and I cannot imagine the utter joy to finally be able to fully discuss this romance that has been brewing for so long.

BESIDES THAT THO, several thoughts:

Jaune, Jaune we had all these theories about you and it turns out the himbo just picked the wrong fruit. Fucked with time and then sat on a beach being sad until someone showed up.

And there he is, trying to be the guide of the story and failing miserably. 

Did he say “cats”, as in plural? We really do not know whether or not the Curious Cat can be trusted or not, which seems on-theme for the issues with Authority Figures in this series. Like the Brother Gods, Ozpin, and the Headmasters, we’re again and again faced with figures with knowledge and authority that are mysterious and untrustworthy.

Which Jaune himself has fallen into, becoming JUST LIKE the generation of war-weary adults before him. Like Ozpin, Qrow, Ironwood, Lionheart, Raven, ect he is exhausted and bitter and letting all this trauma color his actions. Interesting how in that Punderstorm maze, his Atlas Era self is always reflected back at him. He knows how the storms work, and also has not worked out his issues so he’s always just having to wait for the storm to pass.

Waiting waiting seems to be the theme with him. He waited for the others. He waits for the storms to pass, to avoid dealing with his problems. He never fixed his broken sword, and let his armor and shield rust over time. He’s stuck in a cycle of believing himself to be a failure that can never save anyone. 

Alyx and her brother, Luis. It’s interesting how Jaune and the Cat both indicate they don’t actually KNOW what happened. The Cat is more honest in stating they didn’t see what happened, while it’s kind of.....unclear whether Jaune caught up to witness things or whether he’s simply making assumptions. 

We’re presented with the idea of Sacrificing/Feeding the tree, but at the same time I feel like there’s more to it. So far, the prices paid have mostly been symbolic as opposed to more literal. The auction with prices like “a hug” or “what it feels to be loved” or Ruby trading her emblem as “a mother’s promise”. It feels like just chucking someone into the tree as a sacrifice isn’t going to work, since at its core Ever After seems to run on ideas of Roles, Purposes, and stories. Ideas and Feelings, so the sacrifice is likely not a literal “Who gets tossed into the volcano” kind of scenario. 

Like no doubt that’s the conflict being built up, because OF COURSE they are thinking in terms of how things work back home and all the things they’ve lost. That someone has to die, that something physical has to be given up, that it has to be bloody and cruel and painful. But this has so far been a journey about Self, and figuring themselves out as opposed to dealing with much in terms of physical threats. 

For Yang and Blake, it was a journey of facing their feelings. Accepting that the things they’ve gone through have made them better, and then accepting that they love each other.

For Weiss, she’s reeling from the loss of Atlas and trying to push through a very real and understandable grief.

For Ruby, she’s facing the legacy/ghost of her mother and all the trauma she’s pushed to the side. How overwhelmed she feels, as The Leader and hope for the world but also notably THE YOUNGEST she’s a kid she shouldn’t even have been at Beacon that soon. And she’s team leader, she’s trying to fill Ozpin’s shoes as the leader, and she’s trying to follow her mother’s larger-than-life memory. 

Jaune is broken and haunted and caught in all his heroic dreams being crushed. Being the one in the position of the leaders he resented. 

And Neo, off on her own and lost in her rage and grief and full of new power. 

I think this volume is going to be less about someone dying or being left behind, and more about the challenge of them all having a breakthrough. Letting go of old things, letting go of comfortable illusions, and facing difficult parts of themselves to emerge out the other side. 

[grigori77]

2022 in Movies, My Autumn/Winter Top Ten Runners-Up Rundown

Basically because I just got sick of all the movies the past few years that I haven’t praised in the Autumn Winter period, especially during the Pandemic years, because they didn’t make the Top Ten and so didn’t qualify for the Top 30, I decided to start doing these, so ... hope you enjoy, these are all great, and the Top 30 itself is on the way by the weekend, I promise!

20.  THE MENU – A true underdog curiosity which emerged to a surprising amount of interest due to its sheer quality and hot-button genius, this deeply odd jet black social satire genuinely came out of left-field.  Director Mark Mylod’s previous form (mainly directing TV such as Succession and Shameless) certainly didn’t indicate he had THIS in him – a razor-sharp psychological horror comedy about a ultra-exclusive avant-garde restaurant run by a legendary chef (Ralph Fiennes) serving mind-boggling symbolic food to unappreciative snobbish clientele that include Anya Taylor-Joy, Nicholas Hoult and John Leguizamo.

19.  BLACK ADAM – Amidst all the sheer chaos of cancelations, shake-ups and post-COVID delays, a DCEU movie DID manage to sneak out from Warner Bros. … although given the lack of fanfare, underwhelming box office and lacklustre reviews have to wonder why they bothered.  Thing is, taken on face value as an actual MOVIE, Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson’s star vehicle franchise break-in is actually pretty good, an enjoyably bombastic and visually impressive action adventure with some surprisingly well-thought-out characters and a cheeky sense of humour.  It falls down somewhat in the final act and is frustratingly lacking in an actual proper VILLAIN … although given the titular character’s unapologetic antihero status that might ultimately have been the point …

18.  THE AMAZING MAURICE – in the final days of the year, something really special came out VERY MUCH under the radar that I was damn lucky to stumble across – a bona fide Terry Pratchett Discworld adaptation the actually WORKED. After 2021’s ABYSSMAL attempt to bring the Ankh Morpork City Watch to the small screen imploded horrifically, it’s a relief to see somebody finally get the late great Pterry’s voice RIGHT in film form … the end result, wisely adapted from his lovable novel about a talking cat who has a complex “pied piper” scam going with a bunch of equally impressive supersmart rats, is pure gold, the animation likeably cartoonish but still beautifully capturing the mastery of Paul Kidby’s winning artistic takes on Discworld’s characters.  It’s a must-watch for the kids, but as you’d expect it’s also sophisticated enough to please the grown-ups too.  Somebody get the geniuses who put this together to do more Pratchett, this is DEFINITELY the way to go.

17.  STRANGE WORLD – Disney’s other big 2022 animated release was a somewhat unwieldy beast coming out of the gate, but surprisingly it’s turned out to be a charmingly offbeat and original piece of work which clearly had a lot of fun breaking fresh ground for the studio in the fine tradition of the explorers the story showcases. From a visual standpoint alone this is one of the most impressive movies I’ve seen from the studio in some time, brilliantly inventive and vibrantly colourful, while the characters are rewardingly multi-dimensional.  It’s a perfect film for those of us who loved the underrated likes of Treasure Planet and Atlantis: the Lost Empire, which almost makes you wonder why they were so bafflingly quiet about it when it came time for the marketing …

16.  DON’T WORRY DARLING – following on from her impressive feature debut as a director, Booksmart, Olivia Wilde set her sights on something a whole lot more ambitious with this deeply unsettling Lynchian cinematic fever dream. Florence Pugh is ON FIRE as the seemingly perfect housewife in the not-quite-right idyllic 1950s town of Victory, California, who discovers that something is DEEPLY WRONG with her charming little domestic utopia.  Wilde crafts a perfect oppressive sense of impending doom throughout, while Chris Pine gives us GENUINE CHILLS as the company head/puppet-master at the centre of this disturbing small town nightmare.

15.  GUILLERMO DEL TORO’S PINOCCHIO – My favourite filmmaking geek of all time scored a triple hitter this past year, and his final offering is a gleefully odd little joy of stop-motion animation which uses the bare bones of the original children’s story, del Toro letting his freak-flag fly with enthusiasm as he viewed the nightmare of Fascist Italy under the control of Mussolini through the prism of Pinocchio’s pure free spirited chaos gremlin of a living wooden puppet.  As a result it’s a wonderfully weird film, welcoming in younger audiences by somewhat softening the edges of some of the director’s similarly-themed previous woks like The Devil’s Backbone and Pan’s Labyrinth, but not sacrificing any of his distinctive creative voice.

14.  VIOENT NIGHT – the festive season got a cinematic boost in fine style as Dead Snow and Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters creator Tommy Wirkola brought more of his enjoyably idiosyncratic black comedy action movie style to bear on Christmas itself with this unapologetically BRUTAL story of a deeply disillusioned Santa Claus (a thoroughly on-point David Harbour) who’s forced to resurrect his old self (namely a badass Viking warrior) in order to save a genuinely good little girl from a gang of dastardly Grinch-like thugs who’ve taken her rich family hostage on Christmas Eve.  This is totally one of my new fave Xmas movies …

13.  DIO: DREAMERS NEVER DIE – it’s always nice when I can squeeze a documentary or two into these, and this is a very welcome addition, a beautifully engrossing and deeply inspiring recounting of the larger-than-life tale of the truest gentleman in the history of heavy metal, Ronny James Dio.  A fascinating array of friends, colleagues and fans come together to tell the tale of just what an incredibly huge shadow this surprisingly diminutive man cast, and the incredible legacy he left behind when he died in 2010.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you will DEFINITELY want to rock …

12.  FALL – After serving his time making clunky but fun low budget action fare like The Tournament and Final Score, writer-direct Scott Mann looks to have finally come of age with this stunning white knuckle survival thriller about two young free climbers who scale a defunct 2,000 foot TV tower in the middle of the Mojave desert, only for a horrifying accident to leave them both stranded at the top with no means of getting down again safely.  I swear I spent THE ENTIRE RUNNING TIME of this movie on the edge of my seat, gripping the armrests of the seat for dear life, this is one of the most magnificently terrifying movies I have EVER SEEN …

11.  SEE HOW THEY RUN – Deceptively small and seemingly quaint, this gentle mystery comedy from debuting director Tom George and writer Mark Chappell (My Life In Film, Cold Feet) is actually completely fiendish and MASSIVELY entertaining.  A louche drunkard detective (Sam Rockwell) and a plucky rookie WPC (Saoirse Ronan) in early 50s London investigate the murder of a universally disliked loudmouth American producer looking to turn Agatha Christie’s long-running whodunnit stage play The Mousetrap into a potentially godawful American style melodramatic movie.  Thoroughly ingenious chaos ensues …

[misseasybake]

I just had a dream where I was in school. I'm gonna be a 2nd-year university student in 2 weeks. It was a physics class, but the teacher was more like our calculus teacher. Anyway, 2 guys got detention. One of them was chill about it, but the other one was kinda angry. So the teacher told me it was okay to go and talk to them(during class), but I had to convince them to stay calm and to come back. So I did. I went down the stairs. Later the teacher caught up to me and fixed one of the boys' diaries to have a 'good job' mark rather than an f. Then she left. Somehow I realized that to get forgiveness for the boys I had to shower. Not because I smelled but just to shower. And with some kid. I can't even say if it was of the boys' who turned into a kid. I can't remember if it was a girl or a boy for sure. In any case, I went out of school with a kid, and we walked up to the left school wall. To take a shower. In clothes. But I have to say that it was well-lit, had a curtain, and nobody could peek. Also, I didn't feel shameful or weird because of that. When I opened the curtain and we were done, our classmates were standing right in front of the cabin(?), greeting us normally as if everything was in place. That's all I remember.

"

School and Teacher: Since you're about to enter your second year of university, the dream setting reflects your anticipation or possible anxieties about returning to an academic environment. The teacher representing both physics and math suggests a merging of logic and structure with emotions or social interactions. You may be feeling a blend of these areas in your life, such as balancing academic pressures with personal or social responsibilities.

Detention and the Two Boys: These figures could represent two parts of yourself or people in your life, with one being calm and the other frustrated. The act of convincing them to stay calm might symbolize your inner desire to bring harmony or resolve conflicting emotions. You could be working through your own frustrations and trying to stay grounded, especially when facing challenges or expectations in your studies or social environment.

Teacher Changing the F to a 'Good Job': This act could indicate your hope or belief that effort or good actions can transform failure into success. It might represent your internal encouragement that mistakes can be corrected with the right approach, or the relief that support and guidance are available when needed.

Shower as a Symbol: A shower often represents cleansing or renewal in dreams. Here, it's not about literal cleanliness, but rather a symbolic act of washing away guilt, frustration, or anxiety. The fact that you’re doing this with a child might suggest a return to innocence or a fresh start. Showering with the child in clothes, in a well-lit, private place without feeling shame, suggests vulnerability but also safety and comfort in being open about your personal growth and transitions.

Classmates Greeting You: The fact that your classmates greet you normally suggests that your peers or the people around you see you as integrated and accepted, despite the seemingly odd or symbolic act you just performed. It could reflect a sense of confidence in your social standing or a desire for reassurance that you will be understood and supported.

"

"

Dreams of being back at school generally symbolise learning. They’re especially common to experience if you’re learning something new in your waking life, whether it’s a language, skill, or settling into a new job. 

If you left school years ago, these dreams say that you carry some unresolved problems from your childhood. This dream can also point to some life lesson that you’ve yet to master. According to Millers Guild, a dream about school is, “a clear sign that you need to move forward in life, seize every opportunity to learn new things, and become qualified for new things, all of which will help you to mature and grow as a whole person.”

"

[aliceward]

Dream About Baby Prams

What Does It Mean to Dream About Baby Prams?

When we see a baby in their stroller, it is often perceived as an indicator of success. A child and pram both symbolize fruitfulness making them beacons for the attainment of goals. This same image also represents our business endeavors which are going to lead us towards triumphs too!

A baby pram is an indicator of complex life. If you have kids, it might indicate family troubles. The number of push chairs could also suggest that a good opportunity will arise soon, but if you lose one, this is not a good sign and means something important will go wrong with what seems like an easy solution right now; stay alert as always! Your struggles are nothing compared to the problems your child may face in the future so take care of them now before they become too much for yourself or others to handle!

Dream About Baby Prams

Dreams about pram, stroller, or buggy

If you dream of watching a baby pram, it means that your goals are attainable. If the pram is out-of-reach, however, try harder to achieve them! Do you have any plans right now? Are they within reach, or do you need just a little more effort? Don’t wait for tomorrow - go after what makes sense today!

If you are planning on starting a business shortly, start now. Time will not wait for anyone, and it is essential to take advantage of opportunities as they occur instead of hoping or wishing that things might work out one day. A dream about buying an infant carriage such as a stroller can mean many different things. Still, it could also symbolize another person’s pregnancy if you have this type of dream yourself because time does not care who gets left behind - no matter how much we wish our dreams would come true someday!

Dreams about pushing a pram

Dreams about pushing a baby carriage mean that you have achieved great successes in your waking life and are now showing it to the world. Your accomplishments will bring good luck, so remember not to be too proud of yourself, or people might perceive you as an egotistical narcissist! A little pride is healthy for everyone from time to time; try hard to keep things modest instead of bragging all day long as Kanye West does…

Don’t be too big-headed; it will make you an easy target for anyone who wants to bring your self-confidence down a peg or two. You should develop and maintain confidence in yourself, but do not let pride overshadow other people’s feelings about how they perceive themselves.

If you dream of pushing a pram, it means that you need to develop your sensitive side. A man is secure in his sexuality and shouldn’t be afraid to show some gentleness every once in a while! Women love gentlemen.

This type of dream may indicate that you are not paying your partner the attention they deserve and being insensitive to a female character in your life. It might be time for some self-reflection - maybe it’s about incorporating more feminine qualities into how you interact with people close to you: such as listening and comforting behaviors.

The occurrence of baby prams in your dream may indicate that you are having too many problems recently. It’s essential to take some time off and have a break from work to re-energize yourself. Resting will help clear your mind, allowing for better organization and productivity!

If you feel overworked or stressed, the dream is a signal to take some time off. Don’t be afraid of asking your employer for fewer hours if it feels unnatural- after all, you’re also helping them by keeping yourself healthy! Getting sick and staying away from work will help no one, so don’t do too much either, though.

Life is full of missteps. Please don’t dwell on failure because you’ll only make it worse and get yourself down in the process! When something doesn’t work out quite as planned, pick up your feet and keep moving forward; don’t let this setback stand between you and success.

Many of us have dreams where we are trying to push a pram or baby stroller. This dream is often indicative that you need to let go and accept the negative thoughts in your life as not being able to change them any longer. You’ll learn from these mishaps, but it will be challenging unless you let yourself move forward without worrying about this one thing too much anymore! In addition, if someone intentionally leaves their prams behind on purpose while walking away- they may miss out on an excellent opportunity for business because they were distracted by something else at the time…

There are many different ways today that can tell when people don’t like things (such as pushing a buggy with no babies inside).

Your baby stroller is a symbol of your goal. And if you’ve had dreams about destroying it, this could be indicative that you are self-sabotaging yourself from achieving those goals! Be careful and focus on reaching them without letting anything get in the way.

Emotions you may have come across when having dreams about baby prams. Contentment, Depression, Femininity, Fear of failure, and Pride are all negative emotions that the media can influence. For example, in her book “The beauty myth,” Naomi Wolf identifies how ads perpetuate sexist ideals, which create anxiety for women to feel ugly if they do not conform to these standards. This also leads them to feel pride when living up to these unrealistic expectations and depression because no one is perfect enough according to society’s standards leading many people into a cycle of self-hate instead of love.

Depending on the number of baby prams, it may also be indicative of the complexities in life. If you have kids of your own, the complexities may refer to your own family troubles. You may want to take a better look at how your family is doing. Letting go of a baby pram however is a bad sign. It signifies that you may lose or let go of good opportunities in the future. Be extra careful.

What is the dream meaning of a pram, stroller, and buggy?

Watching a baby pram (sometimes called a stroller) in your dreams is a symbolization that your goals are attainable. If the pram is out-of-reach, however, it may signify that you have to try a bit harder in order to achieve your goals. Do you have any goals you wish to achieve right now? Are you indecisive as to whether or not to try and reach for them? Don’t be! Now is the time to try and reach your goals. If you plan on starting a business, take positive steps to achieve this today. This dream tells us that time will not wait for anybody. Take every bone life throws at you. If you dream of buying a buggy or a pram this can mean a child is on the way in real life. This could be someone else that is having a baby or yourself.

Pushing a pram in your dreams means that you have achieved success in your waking life and are now flaunting it to the world. Congratulations on your success! A little pride and ego-boosting never hurt anyone. Just remember to keep things in check. You don’t want people to think that you’re a braggart. A little exercise in pride is always healthy.

It’s important to develop and maintain your self-confidence. It may however also be very annoying to other people if you do it too much. Don’t be too big-headed, it’ll be an easy target for anyone who wants to bring you down a peg or two!

If you are a man and you dream of pushing a pram, it shows you need to develop your sensitive side. A man is secure in his sexuality and shouldn’t be afraid to show a little gentleness here and there. After all, women love gentlemen.

This type of dream may also indicate that you are not paying your partner the attention he or she deserves. Or that you are being insensitive to a female character in your life. You may need to incorporate and practice feminine qualities, such as listening and comforting.

When you are surrounded or have come across several baby prams in your dream, it may indicate that your life is having too many problems recently. Relax a bit and have some time off. Rest should be just as important to you as being productive! Rest helps you reorganize yourself. It helps you think clearer.

If you feel as if you are overworked or stressed, the dream is a signal that this is the perfect opportunity to take a break. Do not be afraid or embarrassed by asking your employer to cut you a little slack if you feel unnaturally pressured. After all, you are also helping their business by keeping yourself, an employee, healthy. Getting sick and staying away from work for days will help no one, especially you! Just remember not to overdo it either.

Letting go of a baby pram, especially if it rolls downhill or into some other precarious situation, may signify your failure to do something. Don’t let failure trouble you so much. So don’t stress about it so much and just take it as a learning experience. Remember failure isn’t as scary or terrible as not getting up after you fail.

If you have been stressing over a recent mishap or error committed by you, take the appropriate action and move on. The dream may also indicate that you need to “let go” of the negative thoughts and energy that have been clouding you. Don’t worry too much about things you cannot change. Just accept them as failures, learn from them, and move on. Additionally, intentionally letting go of the baby pram means you have missed a good opportunity in business.

A baby is a symbol of a goal, and a baby pram or carrier is simply the way to carry and protect that goal. If you’ve had dreams about destroying a baby pram, you may want to re-examine how you treat your goals. Are you simply sabotaging yourself? Be careful and just focus on achieving and taking care of your goals.

Feelings that you may have encountered during a dream with a baby pram

Anxiety, Contentment, Depression, Femininity, Fear of failure, Pride, Satisfaction

In your dreams, you may have

Seen or pushed a baby pram.

Been pushing a baby pram through a crowd of people.

Been exposed to several baby prams.

Let go of a baby pram.

Destroyed a baby pram.

Positive changes are afoot

Pushing a baby pram may mean your peers will approve of something you do.

Crossing paths with a baby pram may mean a good opportunity lies ahead.

The overall dream was positive.

[mamaangiwine]

I'm not sure if you're still doing dream interpretations, but if you are I'd appreciate your time and effort. ❤️ I had a dream some nights ago that is still on my mind, and I just can't quite seem to figure it out.

If it matters, I'm single and have no kids.

In the dream, I was heavily pregnant. The dream took place in the house I grew up in and am currently living now. I was in the master bedroom and that's where everything happened. Most of my family wasn't present, and the ones who were were acting casual (pretty much dismissing that I was literally going into labor and going on with their day). I went through labor, and had twins. I remember thinking one was a boy and one was a girl. I looked away for a moment, and when I looked back they were gone. I went into a panic. I quickly found my "daughter" but couldn't find my "son". I remember feeling stressed and angry, yelling "where is my son?" When I woke up I thought it was all real for a few seconds, and when I realized it was all a dream I kinda had a feeling of... loss? It was all very strange.

Hello,

The symbol of pregnancy doesn't necessarily have anything to do with actual childbearing or children. It can also be a metaphor for things that are about to come to fruition; things that have been a long time coming and are now in their final stages.

The settings where our dreams take place are usually a good indicator to our mental state, or may allude to something we have compartmentalized. In this instance it seems that would be childhood and "family" (or community), since it is your childhood home.

The fact that you are pregnant, and subsequently giving birth, in your childhood home tells me this "pregnancy" might be you coming to terms with something from your childhood, or your current living situation.

Though there are members of your family there, these people may not be a reflection of your family. They could be your family, but they may also be a symbol for other people whom you consider close to you, and may feel currently unsupported by. This is evident in how the people in your dream act very casual during the "birth"; they aren't getting in the way or being imposing, but they also are just going about their daily lives- unbothered by the trial you seem to be currently undergoing.

Babies themselves are a symbol. A baby may represent many things: innocence, naivety, a sense of wonder, or even the gift that is life itself. And since one of the babies went missing (the male) I feel that this may be you coming to terms with something you lost and how that affected the aspects of your life that a baby may represent.

The answer to what was lost might be found in the genders of the babies. Masculinity and Femninity have a long symbolic history, but I suggest that you think about what both those things mean to you personally. Whatever it is that you are realizing- whatever it is you have lost- seems to have a "masculine" aspect to it, or may be something you consider to be "masculine".

Thanks for reaching out, I hope you found this helpful.

[joytraveler]

74: Super Water Polo

It's a good thing that apparently Klickitat Street played water polo in high school, because neither Bea nor anyone else seems to know a thing about it. It was a little difficult getting her to even choose the game, but #84, Make Your Promise, has a 'lock' symbol, indicating it can't be played until this one is started.

HNV: I've never been so hopeful to see tapeworms. I KNOW tapeworms.

"Tapeworms? What about the tapew- OHhhhhhh yeah there's gonna be those, huh. John, you'll like this part, I think"

john_brown: you have my undivided attention.

"Ok Klickit let me know what's up here, this is the kind of sport I wasn't sure really existed, like badminton"

aroseahorseboy: this is GOODminton Klickitat_Street: Here's the short version: arrange all your guys in a figure eight in the water. It's like soccer or hockey but it's harder to move, basically.

When the game begins, seven kids on each side take their places in the pool-- and they definitely appear to be kids, and are credited with names like Pee-Wee and Junior. To Bea's surprise, though, the game seems to play without any input from her.

"I'm, I'm sure winning here! Guess I'm just naturally really good at this, yup.. what the hell, seriously. Hey, HEY!! Let me rearrange my team or drop a depth charge!" The only input she can give is the start button, which lets her stop the game, choose one of the players, and exchange them with someone else on the bench.

Baconnaise: Is that Sportacus TaichouSenseiKun: Is that one a Spanunko? Klickitat_Street: ...They went to all the trouble of making an H20 Polo game... and you're the referee??? Glockroach: Is that a tapeworm in your lower intestines or are you just happy to see me HNV: My god, that's the point of the game, isn't it? No Spanunkos allowed in the pool!

"I guess they don't do water polo.." Bea shrugs. "You'll know one when you see them, don't give up hope yet guys!"

john_brown: i am afraid to ask what a Spanunko is or wait. shit. is that that Nimmo monster? are those in this??? normalnancy asked me what one was and i spent like an hour looking it up. she never told me what it was for!

"Yeah! We've seen them a bunch of times now and there's worms that show up in several games.."

pigbarrel: could you date one in the dating sim game or am I only dreaming Syrupentine: He wasn't one in the game but yeah! Woody was one in that street-crossing game! john_brown: syrup I will hold you to your promise to make those recap videos

The object of the game is now a bit clearer: keep the spanunkos out of the water for as long as you can. If a healthy kid sits between two of them on the bench, he becomes one himself, so it's actually more of a puzzle game where you try to keep the infection contained.

DueyDecimal: ...Now that we've figured out what's happening this is suddenly a lot more boring.

"Just as well, there's probably a lotta worms in the pool already so let's just move on" She makes sure to show John some Spanunkos before she moves on!

ButterflyDefect: Ugh, dammit bea john_brown: they are not as alarming as Nancy made them sound HNV: It's okay, what you really came for is coming up What do you know about... BOX BABY

"NO, I wanna play anything else! Wait there's not another one already, is there??" She checks the list again. There are six games left she hasn't played, including Death Master 2, Party On Planet Of Pisces, and the still-locked Make Your Promise.

Syrupentine: I'm hesitant, we've been burned by Planet of Pisces before...

"Never thought I'd miss the guy named Death Master but you know what, I think we need to pay our old pal a visit for comfort in these trying times! I miss his mustache, don't you!"

pigbarrel: oh i wasn't here for that one. I can't wait til we can master some high level death TaichouSenseiKun: Low level death includes stuff like plants, next level up is pets, then you get people

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Hi! Could I possibly get a soulmate reading? I know I have one out there somewhere but lately I've been feeling doubtful. ✨

Hi! Let’s see what comes up.

Hot pink, your self doubt is your curse, I think this may be something passed down that you need to clear, this self doubt is part of what makes you feel disconnected from others and the truth of yourself and you cannot truly identify what is for you or feels right if you can’t truly look at yourself, honestly I’m not feeling or seeing a soulmate right now (my wings are tingling) so I think that means you are meant to focus on yourself and self love. This doesn’t mean you don’t have a soulmate it means spirit is obscuring it right now because you are too attached to outcome and too focused externally on what is already inside of you.

We want you to know you are so loved and that you are not abandoned, alone, or punished, but you, dear heart, have abandoned yourself along this long and winding road. We hope you will spend the next year finding yourself, rediscovering yourself and actively falling in love with yourself, right now, you seek a soul mate to love you how you can’t love yourself, but dear one, this blocks your soul mate from seeing you. When you dim your light, you hide yourself from the world. You are meant to shine and love yourself so much more. We are always here, find us in prayer, in meditation, connect, develop your spirituality, become the you you are so desperate to be. We feel so deeply your grief and the lack of love you feel externally, and dear heart, that mirrors the lack of love you’ve been giving yourself for years. Do you feel how painful that is? Do you see the abuse you’ve perpetuated against yourself? The love you’ve denied you? Oh it pains us so much to see this grave human error so many find themselves trapped in, because it is a trap, and it keeps you from being all that you are, and you are beautifully and wonderfully made. But first you have to find who that is. We are always here, we always love you, we are never not with you. Be strong. Be brave and you will succeed.

Literally I was typing the first paragraph and all of a sudden this voice was like we… and I’m like damn okay, you get a message from spirit. This must feel pretty pressing to them because I could barely finish my thought and I lost the very beginning of what they were saying as my focus shifted. I’m gonna pull a card in case there’s anything else. Oh and also I think the color hot pink came up because it’s vibrant and fun and can represent femininity. I’m getting an image of Barbie and her dream house and it’s making me feel like 1) you need to let yourself dream big, find a way to remember you can be whatever you want 2) you may have some inner child wounding to heal, if your inner child wants to play with dolls as part of visualizing your dream life (yes that’s a thing and why we did that as kids,) especially if it’s easier to visualize Barbie than yourself, do that. I’m also feeling this color may represent healing around the feminine energy— or receptive and nurturing energy. Where are you pushing instead of pulling, casting instead of reeling. Receptive energy is about focusing on your energy, raising your vibration so that you magnetize what you want to yourself. Also look at the mother wound and look more into the symbolism of hot pink specifically.

Starseed Oracle Card Pull

Star Family— You’re part of a team of souls. Call in support

Awww. They really want you to know you aren’t alone, nonnie. Idk what you’re struggling though or if you feel isolated but I feel like have you been crying a lot? I feel my little heart empathy kicking into gear right now like you need to be comforted and held and nurtured. You are so loved. And by more than just a soul mate, by a whole team of souls (wings tingling out the frame so yeah this is confirmation to me) Hmm the guidebook says this can indicate you have just met a star family member or are about to, but it also mentions when a star family member dies that you can feel grief even if you didn’t know them incarnate. Part of me feels like this may have happened, may be part of the grief or sadness you feel and your other soul family members want to reach out their hand and comfort you. It’s on pages 108 and 109 so maybe those numbers have meaning to look into. I just noticed it reduces to 9 and 1, so maybe you are caught between and ending (9) and a beginning (1), but baby, the page always turns.

Here’s the guidebook entry:

And your card :)

And a song that is coming to mind

[journalxxx]

I think I'm going to play devil's advocate today and raise a couple of counterpoints to this "All Might is a victim of society" thing that I see floating here and there and everywhere and that strikes me as quite the exaggeration, if not an outright misreading of the character. Of all the possible descriptors I imagine one could attach to All Might, 'victim' really doesn't seem a fitting one to me. The Symbol of Peace, intended as this lone and indestructible beacon of hope and protection, is not and never was a role imposed on him by the powers that be (the Commission, the public, whoever). It is very much All Might's own creation, born out of a desire to be a guiding light of sorts (as he states during his conversation with Endeavor after Kamino), a desire he harbored at least since his adolescence. A personal dream that he managed to pursue, thanks to Nana's help, by attending a proper hero school, then furthering his education abroad, then almost instantly climbing to the top of the Japanese Hero Chart as soon as he came back home.

All Might's life, from the day he received his quirk all the way to roughly the age of 50, is one of resounding success. He is strong, rich, famous, loved, worshipped, and most importantly, as far as we know, happy. I would like to note that, to my knowledge, there is absolutely zero indication, not a single line of dialogue anywhere, that implies that any part of his adult life up until the injury was in any way disagreaable to him. The closest we get to such a claim is again during the conversation with Endeavor, when he speaks with regret of the connections and kindness he rejected in order to uphold his Symbol, but he is specifically referring to his rejection of Nighteye there, something that happened after the injury, and whose recent death probably spurred him to reconsider some things he had never paid proper attention to before. I am also brought to think that All Might considers his pre-injury life a good, even a desirable one simply on the grounds of his decision to entrust One For All to Izuku. If he really thought that his own life was so terrible, dehumanizing and burdensome, why on earth would he encourage a random kid to follow his own footsteps by having the same quirk, going to the same school, becoming the same Symbol? That would be rather cruel, wouldn't it? Dragging this poor, naive child into such a huge and self-destructive endeavor for the sake of protecting society, a bit of a manipulative move too. No, I strongly believe that the only negative part of All Might's life, as he sees it, are the years following his injury: the injury ruined everything - his health, his career, almost ruined his Symbol - All For One ruined everything. But now that All For One is (ostensibly) gone, nothing would stand in Izuku's way, no one would ever be able to hurt the kid as much as All Might was hurt, so it stands to reason that this kid will achieve his dream, protect society and have a splendidly satisfying life all in one fell swoop. A sweet deal for everyone involved. One could argue his loneliness was the unmentioned price he had to pay for his successful career. I would argue that that is more of a headcanon than anything else, as there is no indication he ever even craved deep interpersonal connections of sorts. Before the injury, All Might never really had reasons to shy away from friendship or even romance, had he truly wished to pursue them, because he had nothing substantial to hide. And yet, even his professional acquaintances are bare-bones throughout his entire life. With a single, presumably very pushy exception, he never took any sidekicks, because his overpowered quirk made him more than capable of handling any crisis on his own and therefore he didn't see the use of having any support. He did not speak with Endeavor, the number 2 hero, for 10 whole years before the beginning of the series. He didn't even personally know Hawks, the number 3 hero, before the War. His networking is non-existent, even among the best of pros. There was no reason for him to isolate himself so even from his own colleagues, unless he himself simply wasn't that eager to socialize in the first place. His loneliness is very much self-imposed as far as we know, and not something he ever implied regretting or disliking. Which also brings up the huge problem of the Symbol of Peace as All Might built it, the fact that it is one and alone. He is on a pedestal indeed, but one of his own making, and one that he never felt compelled to share. What I consider All Might's most admirable trait as well as his most crucial flaw is his overwhelming urge to act. This trait is strictly tied to the extreme simplicity of his dream, a dream that, interestingly, never really changed since his adolescent days. All Might wanted to be a Symbol, and acted in order to become that, every minute of every hour of every day of his life. His singleminded, adamant, indefatigable purpose is what allowed him to become the number 1, a feat that arguably wouldn't have been possible, had his dream been more complex and nuanced. Other people would have hesitated, stopped to think about their image, their legacy, their social impact, the very meaning of the Symbol they were trying to become and its obvious shortcomings, and they would have held back, or reconsidered, or given up. All Might kept going and going and going, and achieved the unachievable, with sheer willpower and strength and optimism. This is his greatest, ultimate, stunning achievement, but it isn't one without issues. Because in all his eagerness to build the Symbol and to be Symbol, doing what needed to be done right in the moment and without hesitation, he never stopped to plan an 'aftermath' of himself. All Might never had a 'backup plan', or any plans to leave a legacy to uphold the peace he created, not until long after the injury. He might have died during that first fight against All For One, and society would have been in deep shit. His astonishing feats in the present are weighted down by a staggering lack of foresight for the future. And that, again, is on him, not on society and not on the commission and not on the powers that be, because he made himself into one of those powers. He made himself into a leader - moral leader of a society, economic leader of a one-man hero agency, almost spiritual leader of a whole country - and failed in one of the most important tasks a leader should shoulder, which is to ensure that all that he achieved isn't solely tied to his personal charisma and will and skill (which only last as long as one's lifespan), but to prepare a system, an apparatus, a network of people and structures to support what's been built past one's own lifetime. But, as I already pointed out, All Might did the exact opposite, by isolating himself for no justifiable reason and by thinking that society would only ever need one light. If society and the commission are certainly at fault for falling for the comfortable illusion of the One Indestructible Symbol, All Might is no less at fault for crafting it. Again, of his own will, according to his own aspirations. The only thing All Might is a victim of, here, is getting ensnared in a trap of his own making. And when the time to step down came, in the shape of a gaping wound in his side, he was completely unprepared, and utterly unwilling to even consider any solution that wasn't... to just keep doing what he always did, without any changes. As he states after the first battle training at UA, he is genuinely and firmly convinced that the Symbol of Peace and One For All are the only things preventing society from falling to evil. A very debatable stance to begin with, which may have been true back when All For One was around, One For All being the only quirk in existence that the Symbol of Fear couldn't steal, and therefore the only one capable of holding its own against All For One in battle. But after All For One got (ostensibly) killed, there's no reason to assume some other heroes with some other quirks couldn't serve as protectors just as well. There is a certain edge of illogical arrogance in All Might's assertion here, which I rarely see properly discussed, and it pains me, because it adds wonderful depth to the common portrayal of shy, bumbling, insecure Toshinori Yagi I see in most fics (or at least most of the fics I read). It is also interesting that Nezu brings up the idea of All Might becoming a teacher and picking a successor right away, but it will be 5 whole years until All Might eventually caves in and does that. Five years he could have employed to pick a successor immediately, train him in less of a hurry and properly introduce him to society at large, making the whole passing-down-the-torch process a lot less stressful for everyone involved. But instead he waits, or rather procrastinates on a patently inevitable decision, which simply means he kept going and going and going, he kept acting all by himself, until he was literally too run down to continue. A person dissatisfied in any measure with their own life would have seized the chance to step down earlier, after enduring much less grueling difficulties, but he did not. Presumably because, again, he likes saving people, being a hero, doing his job, and held onto that desire to act, to do, to be the Symbol for as long as he could. Once again, a noble and admirable trait that turns viciously against him and that is still tormenting him during the current events of the series, even in spite of all the self-reflection he's gone through. In all fairness, one could argue that this exaggerated performativeness might have been the result of some sort of psychological overcompensation for his quirkless upbringing in a society that looked down on the quirkless as basically worthless people. I would argue that this, however, is very much a headcanon too: we know precious little of All Might's upbringing and youth, and there's no clear measure of how severe quirkless discrimination was back in his day (in fact, there's surprisingly vague indication of how much of a thing quirkless discrimination actually is even during the present days of the story). Even so, while it is unreasonable to blame an adolescent boy for harboring simplistic and unsustainable dreams and ideals, one would expect some degree of maturity and intellectual development to temper those early dreams into something more sensible over the course of a man's whole life. But there he is, at 50 years of age and with two vital organs missing, still trying to incarnate the exact same ideal he aspired to be at 14. There certainly is some dramatic irony in hearing this same man, five years later, preach to Izuku about the importance of having realistic expectations for one's life. Some lessons were learned, but too little and too late. I can imagine someone making the point that All Might's self-imposed loneliness was not a deliberate choice, but a natural consequence of some sort of overblown martyr complex that didn't allow him to claim any time for himself or for any activity that didn't directly involve saving people. To this I would reply that All Might doesn't seem to value his time exclusively on the grounds of, uh, people-saved-per-minute. The Symbol of Peace always had a very strong media presence, he is very often seen indulging journalists, releasing interviews, appearing in public events (even after the injury, when rationally he ought to have been especially conservative with his muscle form time). That stuff eats up time, and has no immediate benefit on anyone's wellbeing, yet again there's no dialogue or statement on his part anywhere in canon to indicate he was forced into that, or that he disliked the practice. In fact, having a strong public image was likely pivotal to building the mythos of the Symbol of Peace, and therefore instrumental to his purpose as well. Networking would fall under the same category of time investment. Training sidekicks, cooperating with other major heroes, even having friends and close associates that could benefit from his spotlight to carry out transversal good deeds across society would have been an equally worthy pursuit, instead of sticking to his one-man-army schtick. Not to mention the fact that such close associates would be key components in this fundamental legacy he was supposed to leave, and which he never properly set up. Frankly, I cannot see a single reason that would lead him (or the Commission, or anyone) to believe that deliberately not building a whole ecosystem of like-minded people around him could possibly be good for society, in the long run. But alas, All Might always and only seemed interested into inspiring people from a distance, and was always more focussed on an urgent present rather than on a nebulous future. All in all, I can only reinstate that 'victim' seems a huge misnomer for a character like All Might. He got to do what he loved for most of his life, and the hardships he faced in his latest years were largely due to his own choices. There certainly is a great deal of external pressure on him to maintain his image, but, as I've already said, he's the one who shaped that image in the first place, with its apparent invulnerability and mythical scope. His purpose shaped the Symbol of Peace into the collective mind of society, not the other way around. And, I mean, if you're looking for 'victims of society' as I intend them, the story offers you a perfect and evident example. Look no further than Hawks, a child basically bought by the government from a messed up family and trained since a tender age, all to be molded into a likeable, skilled and marketable upholder of justice. Now that's someone who got thrust into a role and potentially brainwashed into liking it. None of this applies to All Might, and I frankly find it a little insulting towards his character, his agency, his morals, his drive to imply that he might simply be a nice dude, too pure for this world, stuck in a bad place he doesn't deserve nor likes, when he in fact dedicated his whole life to getting exactly where he is, with effort, pride and willpower. I feel I should point out that this lengthy spiel doesn't mean that I agree with exaggerated, out-of-character, bashing-like portrayals of All Might's flaws and role in the post-Kamino decay of society. I don't even read All Might-bashing fics, they're the exact opposite of what I look for. But I very often drop Dadmight fics for the exact opposite reason, because those (among other things) tend to overlook the very active role he had in causing his own problems, and to externalize the very high standards he has for himself so that, in the end, society as a whole comes to expect the same from him, and I feel that that really... takes away a lot from his character. So many of his virtues are double-edged swords that end up hurting him as well as the people around him, and it feels reductive to minimize that damage (or outright ascribe 90% of it to third parties) just because his heart is in the right place. A great deal of mistakes and damage can stem from the best intentions, and that is a very thought-provoking and fascinating concept to explore. The stark duality and complexity of his character is exactly what makes All Might my favorite character of the show, and by a mile. Don't reduce him to a victim, or a saint, or a villain. He's so much more than any one of those things.

[lebrookestore]

tape 5: play

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x reader

Themes: angst, ex! au, college-ish au, small town au. It goes back and forth a lot

Warnings: heavy angst, bittersweet ending, swearing, its very sad, chenle is a jerk

Wc: 6k

Playlist: 2 kids by Taemin, Gone by Rosé, Instagram by Dean, I still do by Why Don’t We, Believed by Lauv

Taglist: @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu @chicksung @1-800-seo @blueprint-han @jenosslut @cupidluvstarrz @kkakkdugi @sweetlyjaem @vera-liscious @leetaeyonglover @kunrengui @unknown5tar @kisshim @intokook @mrkcore @coco-riki

Summary: A year after your boyfriend moved away, you find yourself sitting in your room with five tapes, earphones, a cassette player and what you hoped, and feared, was closure.

Authors Note: hello! this fic was supposed to be a small blurb but then i got inspired and lo and behold its a full fledged fic! I can’t believe I wrote this in two days sdfjfjkfjk. Feedback would be very much appreciated for this, since I’ve never written anything like this before ;-;

Midtown, almost got a place out of midtown, Instead I took a plane out of this town, And missed out on us 

~

It was a sunny Saturday morning, as you pulled into your driveway, coming back from the store. 

Parking the car and getting the bags, you walked up to the door, knocking it and waiting. You were met with your mother’s smiling face as she took one of the bags of groceries from you.

You lived in a small sleepy town, and attended the college there as well, which meant you still stayed with your parents. You were fine with that, you liked living there, and you could forgo the stress and anxiety of having to re adjust to a new place.

This was your home. It always had been.

Of course, you had been on holidays to other places, you had visited the other town, but when it came to it, you had always found yourself back where you started. There was no other place for you, there never would be.

It was the truth, but it held something bitter.

Then again, you had enough going on already, with being in your freshman year, straight out of high school, college life was very different. You had been to a total of two parties so far, courtesy of your best friend— Lia— dragging you with her. 

You had enjoyed them, but it wasn’t something you would voluntarily participate in again.

The workload was something that had definitely changed, bogged down with mandatory lectures and assignments, tests popping up like a bad smell, you had more than enough to occupy you.

“Something has arrived for you!” Your mother said, almost excitedly, “It’s on the table.”

You helped her put away the groceries, walking to your living room, eyes falling on the package sitting on the table. It was somewhat shabbily wrapped, with tape haphazardly stuck on it to keep it together, and a tag pasted on the top.

Picking it up, you pass it from your right hand to your left, feeling its weight, reading the little tag. It held your address, your name and another name you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Your mind ran at a hundred miles per minute, wondering why it was here, why his name was on it. It made no sense to you.

“Darling? Are you okay?”

Your mothers voice snapped out of your reverie, nodding slowly, “I’ll be in my room, finishing off a project”, you said carefully, trying not to show any sort of emotion as you climbed up the stairs of your house, two at a time, making sure not to drop the package.

Closing the door, you place it on your bed, reading over the tag again, a bitter taste filling your mouth. A name you hadn’t thought of in a year coming back now. It was so random, so absolutely unnecessary.

You curled your fingers around the messy brown paper, tearing it open as your mind reeled. The crackling sound filled the silence as the contents of it make itself known to you.

A shoebox.

It’s dusty, a dark blue colour with a line of red running at its side. There were two holes on either end, lined with metal piping and you could just about make out the nike symbol on the top. You brushed your hand over it, the dust coming off easily and sticking to your fingers.

Why would he send you this?

His name sticks out on the tag like a sore thumb, reminding you of what you lost, mocking you. Always content with where you are, hmm? His voice comes back, as clear as day. It’s as if he’s standing there, giving you his chesire cat grin as he spoke the words.

Zhong Chenle.

Lifting the lid off the box, you’re thrown into confusion. A cassette player, a pair of earphones, and five tapes. Picking up the player, you smile briefly at the dramatic set up. He could’ve called you, or sent a message, so why did he take the pains of sending you something as old and unnecessary as this?

Then again, it had been a year since he stopped picking up your calls, since you stopped trying to call him.  A year since all contact had been cut off, as if he had never existed in the first place.

Sometimes you wondered if Chenle had been a hallucination. An imaginary friend.

Friend.

The questions filter in. Why? It had been a year, so why had he sent you this now? You had finally told yourself you were over it, that you didn’t need an answer, but somehow as soon as you did that, you found yourself sitting in your room on your bed with what could be it.

The tapes were numbered in permanent marker in his messy handwriting, from one to five, indicating the order in which they were to be listened to in. You picked up the first, slotting it in the player and waiting.

You didn’t know what you were waiting for.

You pressed play. There was crackling, but only for a moment, until  it went silent. Maybe this was all a mistake, maybe this wasn’t even happening. Maybe-

i] tape 1: you deserve to hate me

Hey

His voice cut through your spiraling thoughts as you froze in place. He sounded the same as you last heard him, a little muffled due to the recording but the same. At the same time he sounded like a stranger. There was silence for a moment again, before he spoke up.

This is stupid isn’t it?

You felt the urge to answer, but your mouth went dry. It had been so, so long, and even though you had adequate time to get over him, it suddenly felt as if you were treading unfamiliar territory once again. 

I-I don’t know why I’m doing this. I think it’s because I feel so horrible, I need an outlet. I guess speaking it into existence and recording it makes is my outlet. Making it all real.

But that’s fucking terrifying.

You don’t think you’re following, confused once again. 

Y/n

You hear him take a deep breath right after your name, and it sends a chill down your spine, hearing him say your name once again. You had almost forgotten how it sounded.

I don’t know if you’ll ever hear this, or listen to it. If you don’t I’ll actually be glad. You don’t deserve to, I’ve been a jerk to you. I’m sorry. I hope you hate me, I definitely deserve it.

I’m moving in two months.

The realization hits you, this had been recorded a year ago as well, two months before he left without a word or warning. It was old, he was here when he recorded it.

You didn’t quiet know how you felt, not yet anyways.

And you won’t know until I’m gone.

I’m moving to Korea, and I refuse to tell you, even if it makes me the bad guy, even if it feels worse, because that’s my dream. 

I got signed by a record label after sending them that demo I did —remember it? We both went to the studio together, you listening outside as I sang. You were right by my side, all the time.

Except now when I record this, except when I leave. 

I refuse to tell you, because the moment I do I know it’ll be real, realer than it is now as I say it. I don’t want to see the look on your face when I say I’m going, I know it’ll make me want to stay, but I don’t want to stay.

You knew exactly what he was talking about, you could recollect that day clearly. There was a small studio a little outside the town. That day, he had booked it for two hours to record a demo, his singing mentor with him and you tagging along.

It had always been like that, the two of you against the world, until, of course he left.

I physically can’t stay, I hate it here Y/n. It’s not for me, I want to get out, that had always been the plan. I want to get out and be free, I want to achieve my dreams. Maybe it’s selfish, maybe I don’t deserve a minute more of your time, but I want it all.

That’s why I’m not going to tell you —so I can have it all, at least until I don’t have you.

But you, you don’t deserve this, do you? Of course you don’t, but I suppose you’re the one with the shitty luck, you’re the one who ended up with me and now I’m going to hurt you. 

He laughs a dry, breathy laugh. It was half hearted, as if he was trying to get himself to believe the situation was funny. 

It’s not your fault I-fuck I’m sorry.

You heard a click and the tape died off, he had stopped recording there. The first tape was finished, and honestly, you didn’t know how to react. One part of you wanted to feel nothing, you wanted to put the player and the five tapes back into the box and send them away, or lock them in your closet to never find them again.

But the other part of you wanted to know more. You wanted to know how he felt, what went through his mind during that time. You wanted to know just how you lost Chenle, the first boy you ever loved.

Suddenly you felt overwhelmed, vulnerable almost. It was as if someone had opened up an old wound and left it open.

You got to your feet abruptly, pulling the earphones from your ears and dropping them on your bed, taking a step away and blinking rapidly. You couldn’t get caught up in the past, you couldn’t put yourself through that again.

But it was hard when the past was in your present.

Wasted, and all of my regret, I can taste it, If I had a time-machine, I would take it, And make it back to us

~

That night you couldn’t sleep.

The box sat on your desk, right next to your laptop, staring at you. You turned around on your bed, looking the other way, only to be met with the white of the walls.

You never liked the colour white.

It was too plain, too open for interpretation. It never had a solid answer. You liked stability, you wanted something permanent. You were the type of person that needed that reassurance.

Perhaps that’s why you were happy where you were, you didn’t find the appeal in starting over, because that meant nothing was certain. You stayed where you were because everything was already laid out for you.

It was like a colouring book in your little town, the lines all set out, everything drawn for you. Change meant you had to sketch everything from scratch. What if you messed up?

Needless to say, it was a good thing you weren’t an art major.

“This is ridiculous”, you whispered to yourself, sighing at the fact that you were now talking to yourself. You rolled over so that you were lying on your back, staring at the ceiling. The glow in the dark stars shone with their dull green light. You remember the day you had put them up, with Chenle.

You shared a lot of memories with him.

“Fucking hell”, you hissed, sitting up, swinging your legs off the edge of your bed and walking to your desk, sitting on the chair. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you picked up the second tape, inserting it in the player and putting the earphones on, waiting for it to begin.

ii] tape 2: milk before cereal

I know I’m making some terrible decisions, I really do, but if there’s one thing I stand by, its the fact that milk definitely goes before the cereal.

Why am I talking about this?

Well, because today you came over, Y/n, you came over and the two of us were watching a movie, and in the middle of it, you decided you wanted to have cereal, specifically frosted flakes.

So what do we do? We have cereal because I can’t say no to you. You’re welcome by the way, honestly, I deserve the boyfriend of the year award.

A moment of silence.

No I don’t. I really don’t.

You bit your lower lip, shutting your eyes. It was the way he switched, the way his demeanor changes so suddenly that made you want to scream. Sometimes it felt like he was telling a story, one you knew and loved.

Only for the next moment to bring you down to reality, reminding you that all stories don't have happy endings.

Anyways, we got the cereal and you objected when I put the milk first, saying that it was wrong, but how? In what way? Here me out Y/n, I shall tell you why I’m right, even If I’m not actually talking to you.

You couldn’t help but scoff at this, shaking your head at Chenle. He had always had a flair for being dramatic in the littlest ways possible. It was endearing.

Putting the cereal first means it sits in the milk for longer! If you put the cereal last, you can have it crunchy! Isn’t that ten times better? Unless you’re one of the devils spawn and like soggy cereal. If so I’m hypothetically breaking up with you right here right now.

Ah...bad wording. I keep forgetting I have to break up with you. I don’t want to, is that selfish?

You deserve the truth, if only I was strong enough to give it to you. Staying silent is so much easier.

It’s not lying, not completely anyways. I’m not lying if I don’t tell you at all. I suppose it’s a half truth then, with the truth hidden in plain sight. 

*click*

Lying. That’s what he did, even though he spent the last few minutes of the tape trying to justify it, he lied. He trampled all over your heart without a single warning.

You had trusted Chenle, having known him since you were thirteen. He had completely destroyed that trust. Something like that couldn’t be fixed so easily, not even if he had sent you these tapes.

Then again, you didn’t know why he sent them.

You retreated to your bed, turning away from the tapes, the words and memories they held, facing white once again.

You had met Chenle when the two of you were thirteen, in eight grade math. The boy was failing the class, and one day you found him sitting early morning in class, with his head in his hands as he groaned over some sort of equation.

You had offered to help, and the smile he gave was the brightest one you had ever seen, he was practically grinning from ear to ear. That was the beginning of your friendship, and the two of you were inseperable.

Ninth grade it was confirmed that the two of you were best friends, sitting together, complaining about teachers together, going places together so your parents didn’t need to tag along.

In your last year of high school the two of you started dating, and when you had told your parents, they were ecstatic, confessing they had always thought the two of you would end up together.

He was always there for you, every time you needed him. You could give him a call and he would be outside your door. If you were feeling insecure or scared, he was always there to hype you up.

You had been best friends before, you were lovers then, and it was amazing. You loved everything about being with Chenle. You loved everything about him, from his toothy grin to his obnoxiously loud laugh.

You loved the way his eyes sparkled when he had an idea (which, for the most part, were absolutely terrible. Needless to say the two of you got in trouble a lot), when he sang for you when you stayed over, the way he would always make sure you were never cold.

You loved him.

It was written in the stars, you were meant to be, it was the perfect combination. Chenle was the right person for you- the perfect person.

A year later you woke up with him gone, no texts, no warnings. He had just gone, leaving you alone.

Right person, wrong time.

Monday came around sooner than you thought it would, the weekend passing in a blur as you walked out of your first class, spotting Lia leaning against the wall outside your class, scrolling through something on her phone.

She was an exchange student, not originally from your town, but had fit right in. Sometimes you wished you could be like that.

“Oh! You’re out! Listen, there’s a party on Friday and you’re coming with me”, she stated. It wasn’t a request, it was a fact, you were to go with her. In her own words, ‘if I didn’t exist you’d probably have no social life.’

To be fair, she wasn’t wrong.

You nodded defeatedly, walking with her down the hallway, “I assume you want to go because of the cute new guy?”

She glared, but didn’t refute your accusation, “His name is Mark”, she said, “And that is none of your business.”

You snickered, “Oh it so is, you like him don’t you? Is this going to be another one of your crushes?”

Lia was notorious for having a new crush almost every week, being a very flighty person, her mind changed before you could even say her name. This was a bit of a problem, considering you went to her for advice a lot.

Her indecisive nature was not the best for that.

She rolled her eyes at this, “He’s cute, why not? Wonder if I can get him to dance with me at the party. You’re going to be my hype woman-”

“And the sober buddy?”

Lia ignored that.

“Also there’s this new singer”, she said, handing you one of her earbuds, “apparently he came from here!”

Taking one of the earbuds, you were hit with a familiar voice. It sounded amazing honestly, catchy, everything a song needed, but it was the voice that hit you. You didn’t even need to ask Lia for the singer, swallowing the lump in your throat and glancing at her phone, which confirmed your suspicions.

Filling with some sort of dread, your hands immediately went to hold your hand, specifically the bottom where the cassette player and the tapes were. You had been carrying them around with you, as if scared they would disappear if you left them alone.

“Isn’t he good?”

You nodded, not daring to answer as you bit your lower lip, “Hey Lili, I need to use the washroom so see ya later”, you said, handing her the earbud and taking off in the other direction, pushing open the doors to the washroom and getting into one of the stalls.

You had stalled listening to the next tape all Sunday, you didn’t even know why, but hearing him sing, that fact that he had actually made it, it struck something in you. You wanted to feel proud of him, but all you felt was bitter.

Was it a coincidence that this new singer had come out- Chenle himself- right when you received the tapes?

Pushing the top of the toilet down, you took a seat, taking the player out and plugging in, you pressed play for the third tape, waiting for it to begin playing.

tape iii] ill miss our dates

Remember when we went for that field trip? Ninth grade? We sat in the back of the bus together avoiding the stares of our teachers when they told us to sit down?

Then they pulled us apart? Yeah, mean fuckers.

Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to talk about, I just felt like reminiscing for a sec there, but today we went of a date! Well, I mean we got ice cream and then went to the park, but hey, it was fun.

You smiled. He had always jumped from one topic to another without any meaning to either. Sometimes it was a frustrating habit, (you had been on the receiving end of these useless conversations several times, which ended with you glaring at him exasperatedly), but for the most part, extremely comical.

I’m going to miss that. I’m going to miss you. Your little smile — have I ever told you just how pretty your smile is? Your eyes light up and crinkle at the sides and its something I don’t think I’ll ever forget, even when I’m gone. 

You clutched the cassette player, marveling at the irony. He was talking about your smile, but why did you want to cry?

It’s a month left now, and I want to make the most of it. Tomorrow I’m taking you to the amusement part and then next week I’m surprising you with dinner. I guess doing things for you —for us — makes me feel better, like I’m compensating.

You deserve the world Y/n, and I want to see that world while you’re happy where you are.

You don’t deserve having to deal with me.

*click*

Your eyes burned, because you remembered each of those events. You had been so happy, so overjoyed at them. They burned with tears because there it was again, that reminder that you were destined to be stuck right where you were, because you were that idiot who was content.

But if someone, anyone, asked you at that very moment if you were happy, the answer would’ve been an outright no.

1 YEAR AGO

~

“Hey Chenle?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you want to leave?”

The boy thought about this for a second, before smiling wistfully, “Don’t you want to know how it is outside home?”

“But everything I need is here.”

Your eyes held a question, you were genuinely baffled by his reasoning, the way he was so stuck of getting out. You studied your bewildered expression, shaking his head. “You’re lucky”, he said finally, “You know exactly what you want.”

“Of course I don’t, but I know what I need Chenle, and that’s all around me.”

He shook away his other thoughts, “Hey maybe we’ll go exploring the world together some day. 

You blinked, “You want me there with you?”

He nodded, grinning widely, “I want to take you along, Imagine, it’ll be fucking awesome, and hey this time there will be no teachers to separate us. We can even stand in the bus-if we’re taking a bus, that it.”

You laughed, “Maybe”, you mused, looking back down at your phone, “While I don’t exactly see the appeal, it would be fun to be with you.”

Chenle’s smile faltered, but he didn’t let it fall completely, wrapping his arms around you and sighing, closing his eyes and whispering something just loud enough for you to hear.

“Maybe.”

Why did it feel this way?

Chenle was right- you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to feel this way at all. It had been a year, so why did it affect you?

Why was it all happening at once?

You clicked your tongue, eyeing the player with contempt. You felt pathetic for being curious, for still feeling so attached to old news. It wasn’t as if it was going to change anything, so why?

Why did you still want to know?

Curiosity killed the cat. You wondered if knowing would somehow kill you.

No one was at home currently, so you sat in the living room on your couch. The items you were trying so hard to ignore were sitting on the small table in front of the couch, as if waiting for you to pick them up once again.

You wondered if you should tell Lia and ask her opinion about the situation. She may not be that helpful, but hell, she could help you burn the tapes if worse came to worse.

Sometimes you wished you had never met Chenle, that your history with him could be erased from your memories. You wished it never existed because fuck, it still hurt.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself and pressed play.

tape iv] firsts with you

Do you remember our first kiss?

We were eighteen, in my room, playing Jenga. That was a year ago, oh god, I can’t even imagine, how has it been a year? You were wearing one of my shirts and jeans, your hair was in a ponytail. The two of us were sitting on the carpet on my floor.

You had successfully gotten one of the wooden pieces out of a risky area of the tower, but then it was my turn, it feel to the ground, destroyed.

I blamed you, and you laughed, and our banter continued. We argued and at one point I started tickling you to get you to shut up, because honestly-Jesus Christ Y/n you’re fucking stubborn.

Anyways I ended up on top of you and the two of us were laughing. You looked so pretty, hair messily scattered around your face as you attempted to get out of my hold. 

I leaned down and kissed you.

Your throat closed up as he spoke. Your eyes stung and you raked your hand through your hair, biting down on your lower lip. The way he was speaking about it, as if he would do anything to go back, it struck something in you.

Because if you had the chance, you would go back as well.

You tasted like that strawberry chapstick you liked to wear. I could tell you were surprised, because you didn’t kiss me back for a good two seconds  —which, by the way sent me into a panic for a moment there.

But then you kissed me, and fuck, it was like everything had stopped. I couldn’t think for a second, it was like the world had started spinning around me, and the only thing that was keeping me grounded, was you.

Was it supposed to hurt like this?

You sucked in a sharp breath, fingers fisted the material of your shirt as you tried keeping your composure. You didn’t want to cry, but he was making it so, so hard for you. 

You remembered how it felt when he kissed you, you were legitimately so confused, was he really kissing you? Your best friend, the boy you had loved quietly for so long, kissing you?

Chenle was your first kiss, and it was the most perfect first kiss you could have ever asked for, even if you were on the floor, with random Jenga blocks scattered around the two of you.

The smile you gave me after I pulled away, I wish I could remember it forever. It was goofy as you burst into giggles, and asked me, “What was that for?”

I blinked in surprise, wondering how you seemed so normal, when for me everything had changed. I had kissed my best friend, the one girl I care the most about.

I must have looked like a tomato oh god.

Instead of waiting for my to answer, you sat up, pulling me into another kiss. This time it was me who was unprepared. The kiss was messy, it had no structure or plan, but I realized in that moment, that I really liked kissing you, and I wanted to do it more often.

You became my girlfriend.

The wistful tone he was using was starting to affect you. You had loved Chenle, almost too much. You could almost feel that nostalgic happiness you felt that day when he kissed you for the first time, the disbelief and joy that wrapped around the two of you. 

A wave of sadness followed that nostalgia.

Our first date was so fucking awkward. We were at that little cafe you loved, you ordered a cheesecake and I got a smoothie, and then we sat in silence for a good five minutes.

It really shouldn’t have been that painful, considering we knew everything about each other already, then again that might be why it was awkward, I had nothing to ask you about.

So naturally I brought up school and that started it, the two of us complaining about the amount of assignments we had, and Mrs. Choi’s annoying squeaky voice- I swear to god that woman took a second for each word.

But I digress.

Slowly our conversation felt normal again, it was just us, eating cheesecake and drinking smoothies, together.

That wave of sadness crashed down upon you like a tsunami, trying to snuff you out. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, you were struggling to keep yourself together. You were struggling to stay afloat, you had lost any leverage you had that was holding you up.

You couldn’t fight the waves.

My flight is in two hours. It’s four in the morning and we’re about to walk through the door and get to the airport, but I wanted to talk to you once again, even if we’re not really talking.

I’m pathetic.

You’re sleeping, in your bed at your home, you don’t know I’m going because I’m the coward that refused to tell you the truth. I’ll be gone by the time you wake up and then you’ll know.

You’ll know how much of a waste of time I was.

And then you were angry.

You were angry because he had no right to just come back into your life like this, no fucking right to make you cry. He wasn’t even here, but somehow he had managed to make you fall apart just with his words, with his voice.

He had no right to tear your world apart, the little composure you had standing. You had finally accepted the fact that he was gone, you had moved on, and even tried to forget.

But here he was, making sure you could never forget.

You hated how selfish he was, how absolutely fucking oblivious. He had no clue, not even one as to how you felt when he just disappeared from your life, as if he never existed. He had broken you and here he was, breaking you again.

With trembling hands, you stopped the tape from playing any further, angry tears making their way down your face as you flung the player across the room. You had no intention of listening any further, you didn’t want to, you didn’t care.

Closure hurt more than him leaving.

You buried your head in your hands, letting yourself fall apart, but just this once.

tape iv] continued [unheard]

I’m sorry Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry. 

You don’t have to believe me, because I’m leaving anyways, so I suppose that cancels out my apologies huh? I’m the worst person you ever met. I’m not stopping, I’m not going to leave you a text.

Because I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

I’ll be gone before we could ever be.

Should’ve believed in us, while we existed, cuz now the whole things fucked, and just a figment of my imagination

~

Time heals all hurt, and reminders bring them back, cutting through your skin like a knife, making you bleed.

A week later, you found yourself sitting in your favorite cafe, the same cafe Chenle talked about in the last tape. You ordered a cheesecake and a smoothie, inserting the fifth and final tape into the player.

The last time you did this, you were left hurt and distraught, promising yourself you would never go back to listen to him again. You had put the shoebox in your closet, hiding it behind your clothes that hung from the rack.

Yet here you were.

You didn’t bother finishing the fourth tape, you didn’t see the need to. 

This tape, you observed, was newer looking, with less scratches on the plastic, even the marker on the side looked more recent, a little rushed if you went into detail. 

The cheesecake and drink arrived, and you took a bite, pressing play.

tape v] play

Hey.

He sounded a little different too, older perhaps. His voice was smoother, but he sounded unsure of himself. It sounded as if he was trying to figure out how to approach the topic. He was being cautious.

It’s been a while. I...I don’t know why I’m doing this. There’s no point- you’re not even here. I found these stupid tapes yesterday in my dorm when I was cleaning out and gave them a listen.

Silence.

I envy you, Y/n. I wish I was like you, happy wherever I was. But I’m not, and I probably caused you great unhappiness while trying to search for my own- but I was happy with you, so happy it was ridiculous.

I sabotaged that.

You sighed, realizing you felt nothing. You were tired of crying over Chenle, you were done doing that. Instead you felt empty, like you had been tired out, like it didn’t matter anymore. At this point you were to get it over with, to finish it off on  clean ending note.

My song comes out next week, and it’ll be done. I’ve made it Y/n, I’ve gotten to where I wanted to be, the place I had worked so hard to get to. I’ve sacrificed so much for this and it’s all been worth it- except one thing.

I don’t expect you to listen to my song, I just wanted to tell you. I..I hope you’re proud of me. Even if I was a jerk, I hope you can be proud, at least a little bit, because then I’ll have finally made it.

I miss you.

The same words are at the tip of your tongue, I miss you, I miss you so fucking much, but they never came out. They didn’t have to, it would be useless. He would never hear them.

Instead, you swallowed them back down.

And even though I made fun of you for staying home, I hope you’re happy like I am, I hope we’ll meet again one day. If we do I challenge you to a game of Jenga, loser buys the winner ice cream.

I-fuck this is the hardest part- but I hope you’ve moved on. One of us has to.

*click*

You don’t take the tape out of the player, you don’t touch it at all. You feel oddly calm as you take another bite of your cheesecake, savoring the strawberry reserve that it came with it. You could almost imagine yourself at eighteen again sitting opposite your new boyfriend.

You missed it, the memories that came along with it. That was it, you missed the feelings you had.

But you were okay. You would be okay right where you were, because that’s where you belonged. It hurt, yeah, but it had hurt back then as well. Now it was just a dull ache, all that was left was regret.

Regret that it didn’t work out, regret over unspoken words and unnecessary pain.

A familiar song filled the cafe as you smiled somewhat sadly, leaning back in your seat and closing your eyes.

“I’m proud of you Chenle”, you whispered, “Because you did what I couldn’t”

You left the cafe a little later, with the cassettes in your bag, an empty plate and the smoothie sitting on the table, untouched. After all, that smoothie wasn’t for you.

There was nothing to wait for anymore. You had loved and you had lost, Chenle was a stranger with your secrets and a familiar voice and that was it. 

You had forgiven him a long time ago, even without him being deserving of it. Now with all the loose ends being tied up, it felt like you could finally let go of him, you could finally move on.

And forget.

[momtaku]

//Spoilers 136// Hi! What did you think of Levi's monologue? Did you see it as Levi moving forward by letting go of his revenge against Zeke, asserting that his choice to chose Armin was the good one and overcoming his survivor guilt? Or did you see it more as a farewell, a potential death flag, a sign that his role is over? Maybe something else? I'm a bit confused about this part so I'm looking for op thoughts!

It would be an understatement to say I loved it. Levi’s monologue was a reiteration of what I already knew, a clarification of things I’d suspected, and mostly just an affirmation of everything I love about Levi. 

 I’m going to take it panel by panel.

“Where is Zeke?  Where is he?  

“Must kill monke” has become a meme at this point so it’s no surprise that Levi is still hyper focused on Zeke. He opens his monologue with the thought that’s been in the forefront of his mind since RTS.

Even if I did find him, I’d just be a burden in this state.  Dammit… 

We get a look at the damage from the titan bite last chapter. Levi’s gear is mangled. His leg is as well. Levi is accepting that he can no longer fight. 

My interpretation of this is that Isayama is managing our expectations as well. We’ve been asking for 55 chapters whether or not Levi will kill the beast titan. This might be our answer. 

I’ve never bungled one of his orders, not even once.  And yet for some reason, his final order is the one that I just can’t….

What’s so interesting is that Erwin never ordered Levi to kill the beast titan. That was Levi’s own promise in reaction to Erwin’s sacrifice. Levi has internalized this order and made it a focus on his own. 

Interesting too, this is the first time Levi’s flashback hasn’t included Erwin’s smile. I think Levi’s disappointment in himself is coloring his memory here causing him to see Erwin as disappointed. 

Recognizing that he most likely can’t kill Zeke, Levi now reflects on the bigger picture.

Our role may have ended there, we got those brats to the sea.  If that was the extent of our role, tell me…

Finally we get clarification on why listening to Armin’s dream affected Levi so profoundly.  It’s connected to the mission of the Survey Corps.

The mission of the Survey Corps was very specific. In simplest terms, the Survey Corps was the military division in charge of the exploration and reclamation of human territory from Titan-infested lands. That mission was fulfilled when the titan threat was eradicated and the entire Island was deemed habitable. Levi is acknowledging that reaching the sea fulfilled the original Survey Corps mission.

Listening to Armin’s talk, even before the basement truths were discovered, Levi recognized that Armin’s mission extended beyond the Survey Corps. Armin was looking, not just past the walls, but into whatever existed beyond the territory they hoped to reclaim. Levi valued that.

When you guys devoted yourselves, was that in order to trample the hearts and lives of others?

After thinking about the original SC mission, Levi is now reflecting on how those ideals would translate into their modern predicament. Their mission was officially land reclamation, but they wore the wings of freedom in symbolism of that. He’s asking how far would they go to secure their land and their freedom from threats.

 No…when we dreamed of a world without Titans I’m pretty sure that was an absurdly innocent and idealized world, because if it wasn’t, it won’t have been worth what they devoted.  

Their world was small before the basement. They couldn’t have known about the threats beyond their small island, but if they did, Levi is confident that they would never have devoted themselves to it’s destruction. Levi is here reiterating that no one would support the genocide. Not Erwin. Not Mike. Not his squad. 

This acknowledgement is important to Levi in the face of his acceptance that he might not kill Zeke. Reaffirming that the original Survey Corps would’ve fought on the side of humanity, might help ease any guilt he might feel.

I know my friend @lostcauses-noregrets​ has answered dozens of asks about whether or not Levi would choose humanity over Zeke. I’ve entertained a few myself. We’ve stated over and over (and in her case, and over again) that Levi cares about humanity.  But understanding now how Levi believes he fulfilled his role when the kids reached the ocean makes it easy to see why he could focus on Zeke. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about humanity, obviously he did, but he viewed himself primarily as a member of the original survey corps. This was the last item on his to do list.

Reflecting now on how Erwin and the others would prioritize humanity is likely a comforting thought for Levi. He might not kill Zeke, but he can still honor those he loved by continuing to fight no matter what. Perhaps he grips his weapon in the panel that follows as an indication of his resolve.

Erwin, I didn’t pick you, and I have no regrets about that. About entrusting the future to that kid who had the same look in his eyes as you.

If I die of heartbreak, this is the line that does it. I’ve written elsewhere that Levi would not regret his decision to let Erwin rest because that decision was never about who was right, or better, or deserved it, or was more pure, or any of the ideas I’ve seen floating about these last 4.5 years. Levis made his decision based entirely on his own feelings for Erwin. He couldn’t drag Erwin back into the hell of their existence after Erwin had finally found peace. Levi let Erwin rest, confident that he could fulfill the remainder of Erwin’s mission. That’s not something Levi could regret.  Entrusting whatever comes next to “that kid who had the same look in his eyes as you” is as poetic as it gets. I almost can’t believe it’s Levi uttering those words. But Levi sees Erwin in Armin and that why he can entrust the future to him. 

Thanks for the ask! This was fun 💕

[ignitification]

Midoriya Izuku - Green for Hope, Red for Burning Passion

I always asked myself why exactly Horikoshi has changed Midoriya's character design so drastically.

Indeed, we go from a character called Yamikumo who looks like a feral child with the bad habit of eating his nails off, and drinks more coffee than humanly possible to an anxious bunny who smiles awkwardly and does not know how to accept compliments.

To me, the difference is absolutely insane. Izuku's hair and eyes are uniform and reflect his character and surname. However, a thing that I find peculiar is how the dark (Black/Green) and the Red theme are a constant throughout particular tellings of his character.

The legendary red shoes are one of Deku's main features. It's part of his character. However, I just got to think why exactly (especially having an idea on why was green used for him) and I think that the answer might be very very banal. However, I do think that this is not the only reason.

First of all, there is the most simple reason which I could think of: Midoriya Izuku is described as plain. In my opinion, plain does not really define Midoriya but the concept of him being bland and capable of melting into background is fundamental to express him in the most little details (however, there are few things which inwardly contradict this description: first and foremost his freckles). But as it might be, and Midoriya is indeed considered not worthy look at for more than once (at least as described in the manga - which is also one of the reason why his design has been changed so much, as Yamikumo had literally zero chance to go unnoticed), it appears clear how this suppression of character, of wanting to relegate Mido to a background role is what instead pushes Izuku forward to make a bold choice of something like wearing red shoes. They are strikingly particular, and noticeable: which means that Midoriya is not happy about being an npc, but instead wants to be noticed and in some way stand out.

The second reason, which I mulled over if was relevant enough is All Might. A recurrent color in all All Might's costumes is Red (and Blue, which kind of reminds of Superman and the American Flag. A fact that I found interesting as well if how AM wears Blue, Yellow and Red while Midoriya wears Green and Red, and of course Blue and Yellow together form Green).

And finally the third and final reason (at least, for now) is that Red, as a colour reminds Deku of Kacchan (even if arguably, we see in the first panel of the manga how Izuku wore already his shoes so this might be false and instead it might refer to the fact that Red is Izuku’s favourite colour only), who we know he associates with victory. As the mental image of Kacchan, who was red eyes, is his substitute for him being able to stand proud, strong and capable to win, Izuku might want to express this strive to be strong.

But what do these two colours mean, stand alone ?

As for Green: this colour, in different cultures, is associated with "Hope" . I think here the main gist and general going is that Midoriya represents Hope for the Heroes, Hope for the Unwanted, the Broken and the Damned (the Villains). I talked about Izuku being a Symbol of the New Society here, but in short, with Izuku Midoriya being fundamentally associated to the colour green, I think Horikoshi wants to express two things: how Izuku never loses hope (to be a hero, to have a quirk, to be a friend to Katsuki who bullied him for years or Shouto who straight up challenged him even before getting to know him, to reach and to save everyone) and how he represents and spreads hope for others (Eri, Kouta, the same Todoroki and Katsuki).

Green indicates life, renewal, harmony and safety. Which, in this sense, points out Izuku's nature as a person and how he is bound to feel restless unless he provides comfort to everyone, and that desire to save desperately anyone who he can reach. Green is a calming and soothing colour. It also stands for prosperity, freshness and progress - which point out not only the conclusion of Deku being N1 Hero, but as well at him 'changing up' the society and becoming the Symbol of Hope and Change (on which I briefly touched upon here).

However, on a negative side it also stands for Greed (wanting to be a hero and follow AM steps even when he had a hard time adapting his body to his new quirk) and Envy (Bakugō first and foremost and the generally heroes and those who has time to wield their power properly). In this negative meaning of the colour, I think Izuku’s selfless nature comes to the surface even more: how he feels bound to feel negative emotions which spur his renewal and development (after all, he did unlock Black Whip after Monoma had insulted Bakugou), but at the same time use this emotion toward a bigger goal (him being mad at Shigaraki, but at the same time wanting to save him - I wrote about this too here).

Green, is, finally, the colour of the Heart chakra: an expression of how Midoriya puts everything before him, because his heart cannot take the selfishness of thinking of himself first, which also come hand in hand with his sacrificing nature and reminds of his name meaning and the association made with the number 9. Indeed, “Opening the Heart chakra allows a person to love more, empathise, and feel compassion” - which in short, stands for an externalisation of Mido’s personality.

On a shorter note, in Japan, the colour green represents youth, eternity, vitality and energy - which, in its own way is both a confirmation and a denial to other references made in Izuku’s character, such as his dangerous nature, him not being concentrated to live on for more than he is allowed to fulfil his duty (him being tied to number 9 and so on), and at the same time it reminds us of OfA, as it gains more power and energy and at his cheery, youthful persona.

As for Red, as the colour of Blood, it also stands to indicate '' Danger, Sacrifice, Courage" (which reconnects to his name's theory and numerology, of which I talked about here, in short).

In addition, red is usually used to professionally gain attention (it's hard to miss something so bright) and convey confidence. We know for a fact that Deku has been wearing red shoes since he was a kid (or at least, since he met Bakugō, which coincides with Izuku being four) and that despite being Quirkless, he always showed courage in standing out to people even when they thought of him as 'inferior' because on his unusual condition.

Among other negative meaning, there is an overflow of temper, anger, agitation, and overbearing, demanding and oppressive behaviours. As clear as day, these characteristics relate more to fiery Katsuki than Deku, but as stated before, Deku puts Katsuki as model and adapts his combat style to resemble Katsuki’s. So, this overflow of energy and action is a double-edged sword which affects both Katsuki and Izuku in different ways (and is mellowed out in Izuku’s character by his other soothing characteristics , but more on that later).

Also, Red, in Asia is a lucky colour which might (or not) hint at how, despite everything Izuku got his 'lucky' chance to inherit AM's power and follow his dream of becoming a hero. Particularly, in Japan this colour is associated and denotes strength, passion, self-sacrifice. A transmission of feeling as complex and empowering as the ones Deku fills while he is living his everyday life as a future hero, summed to his nature and inherited quirk.

Red is also a magical and religious color. It symbolized super-human heroism to the Greeks and is the color of the Christian crucifixion, which might be as meaningless as other things, but in this case it might greatly relate to the type of enormous power Izuku tries to reign in, and to the self sacrificing spirit which he proves again and again.

So far, the meanings of the colours which have been associated with Deku are in line with his name, his personality and even the storyline which has been drawed out.

Among other meanings red represents power, courage, energy, passion, and creates physical effects such as enhanced metabolism, enthusiasm, higher level of energy (which comes back to the initial reasons on why Deku chooses Red as a distinct colour for himself and his shoes).

The color red is linked to the most primitive physical, emotional, and financial needs of survival and self-preservation.

Finally is also the colour of leadership, determination and courage. So in short, the colours red, where it indicates energy, action and strong emotion-filled desires and aspirations, is also weak to overbearing aspects which transform empowerment into negative traits (which is what, in the end, is represented by Bakugou). It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power (the shoes in Deku’s case). 

Red is the colour of the First (or Spine) Chakra and usually allows a person to be grounded and connect to universal energies, while Green is the link between spiritual and material.

What do these two colours mean in association with each other?

Onto how these two colours are related to each other, especially considering the premises made, we see that Red (life-giving properties, trust, belonging and violence) and Green (health, eternity, youth and greed) are not only opposites, but they complete and balance each other out. Indeed, to reign over emotions and actions, to red is usually added green which indeed is a pain-relieving patch for red’s intensity (the theory of Bakugou and Deku being two sides of the same coin are thriving).

Midoriya Izuku is an intense person. His personality allows him to balance out his power with a selfless nature, and while he himself is sweet and caring, his fiery eyes (and shoes) express for him his utmost sincere feelings, which deep down are very telling. As mentioned before, Izuku responds to Monoma when he insults Bakugou and makes a jab at how actually Bakugou is the one who ultimately terminated AM, by unlocking a new dangerous and powerful quirk, which is so powerful and fiery, and red in his intensity, that they need Shinsou’s intervention to actually calm him down.

Izuku is a overly protective person: he has forgiveness as a foremost characteristic and even if he does mention how he will not forgive Shigaraki for what he has done, on second though he realises that even a ‘monster’ like Shigaraki deserves to be saved, and therefore his other nature takes over.

Therefore, the coexistence of these factors, and his personality are probably at the origin of why Midoriya has had such a drastic make-over before becoming Midoriya Izuku, and why the colours of Red and Green are fundamental in the description which lets us have a full picture of Midoriya as an individual: something who is full of hope and energy, striving to express whisk power and passion while trying to concern only himself with the danger that comes with his mission to save everyone.

[dotthings]

Let’s talk about why Dean dancing with a lamp is subtext, but it’s subtext that supports textual arcs. Dean dancing with a lamp is not random. Meta on why Dean dancing with a lamp is part of the build of a textual arc for Dean, thematically, which also connects to his relationship with Cas. This symbolic moment being tacitly about Destiel will only feel like reaching if you ignore context, ignore canon, ignore long arcing, ignore textual material surrounding it. This isn’t just me talking about a ship, this is an important arc for Dean himself emotionally and the way canon’s working, Cas has become the star player in this specific emotional Dean arc about yearning. 

Here are some canon quotes. I could just leave these here and not write another word of meta because the canon wrote it for me. But I’ve added some further commentary to spell out clearly what I’m getting at.

Dean in 8.14 “Trial and Error” by Andrew Dabb:

“You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.”

Dean in 10.16 “Paint it Black” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

“You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it....Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.”

Sam and Dean in 11.04 “Baby” by Robbie Thompson:

SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Sam and Dean in 13.23 “Let the Good Times Roll” by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: But on a beach somewhere, you know? Can you imagine? You, me, Cas, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously. Some hula girls. SAM: You talking about retiring? You? DEAN: If I knew the world was safe? Hell, yeah. And you know why? 'Cause we freaking earned it, man.

Sam and Dean in 15.08 “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

DEAN: Look, man, I didn't want to say anything, okay, 'cause I was kind of in in a bad place, and, uh, yeah, I didn't want to jinx it or whatever, but, you know, I tried the family thing, right? SAM: Yeah, me too. And that's not for us. DEAN: No, not really. But I'm just saying if it was to work, Eileen, you know, she gets it. She gets us. She gets the life. She's hot. SAM: Dean. I mean, I'm not even- DEAN: Look, all I'm saying is you- you could do worse, okay? And she could certainly do better. Like, so much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy.

Dean and Garth in 15.10 “The  Heroes’ Journey” written by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: You know, I gotta say, aside from pincushion in there… this is pretty nice. GARTH: Yeah, better than I ever thought I'd get. I mean, hunting -- I figured I'd be dead before I'm 40. You know, go out young and pretty. But now I've got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Dean in 15.10 “The Heroes’ Journey” by Andrew Dabb:

Dean, wistful, watching through the window as Garth and Bess dance: You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

Ok, let those roll around in your brain for moment. 

Now: CONTEXT. CONTEXT. CONTEXT.

There’s this long running arc about maybe Sam and Dean could each find a significant other, not white picket fence, but...something, with someone already in the life, who gets their life. There’s Dean’s move from despairing and believing the only ending he could have, the only ending any hunter could have, is dying with a gun in hand, to Dean’s enthusiasm for the concept of retirement, Dean’s wistfulness about finding a significant other, for what he thinks he can’t have, and he starts the cycle all over again, if he can’t have it, then he wants Sam to have it, so Dean encourages Sam with Eileen. Saileen, the Dean-blessed, Dean-approved Sam ship. Dean ships it. And that is how the canon is trending, complete with Sam and Eileen kissing goodbye and saying “this is real” and even God himself saying their feelings were real, “that was all you,” even if God manipulated events around them. Which is an overt mirror to Dean and Cas and Dean’s expressly stated doubts about what’s real and what isn’t, and Cas telling Dean “we are.” 

Much the way Sam has been witness to Destiel, and has often pointed out Dean’s Cas feelings. Dean’s got a front row seat to Saileen and approves; Sam’s had a front row seat to Destiel and approves. 

Let’s throw in Robert Berens’ work in The Trap here, since that’s relevant to this specific topic as well, because why did Sam and Dean in the potential future timeline where they’d killed Chuck give up and cave in to their vampire instincts? The world being overwhelmed with monsters...and losing Eileen and losing Cas. It’s right there in the dialogue. I’ll give you the quote and everything:

Sam and Dean in 15.09 “The Trap” by Robert Berens:

SAM: You want to quit? What's happened to you, Dean? Ever since -- DEAN: Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we've ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box? Ever since then? Yeah. You know why? 'Cause the monsters -- they're everywhere. Everywhere! What we do -- it's not even Hunting anymore. It's whack-a-mole. We don't even save people. Every friend we've ever had is either dead, or they got wise and they packed it in. SAM: Jody's still fighting, and Bobby -- DEAN: Bobby has a death wish, and you know it. And Jody -- ever since what happened to Donna and the girls, she does, too. And after Eileen... so do you.

“Ever since” Dean had to bury Cas in a Ma’lak box. “After Eileen...so do you.” 

So there’s this canonical long, long thread across multiple authors (and those weren’t even all the quotes, I’m sure people could dig up more) about Dean in particular yearning towards finding a significant other, some contentment, with someone who already is in the hunting life, who gets it, who understands.  

An episode that flat out shows how losing their significant others is the final straw that rips out Sam and Dean’s last will to fight, and they lose themselves, and after they’re turned into vampires, they just...give into the darkness. Where Sam gives up their shot at destroying the big bad because losing everyone they love is too high a cost. Where losing Cas makes Dean lose hope, where losing Eileen sends Sam into a death wish mindset. Sam and Dean don’t just need each other. That’s not canon, it never has been.

And then right after that, along comes meta episode The Heroes’ Journey. Sorry if you don’t like The Heroes’ Journey, but it’s what the canon did, it’s textual, along with everything else I’ve pointed out here, and in among the crackish humor are some real emotional narrative points. 

In The Heroes’ Journey, Dean gets to see Garth’s life. Garth found his significant other, Bess, and she’s another werewolf. Now, Garth’s life resembles the traditional white picket fence idea a lot more than what Team Free Will are headed for. Garth has a big house with a porch, and he’s a dentist. He’s also a werewolf and his wife is a werewolf and his kids are werewolves because Bess is a pureblood werewolf, Garth didn’t exactly leave the life, and he helps Sam and Dean on a case. But nothing’s been indicating to me that anyone in Team Free Will is headed for that kind of settling down, with a house, becoming a dentist. However, the canon has been practically shouting now, as we near final episodes of SPN, to make the point about a desirable outcome--some kind of stability, contentment, and a significant other. Dean gets a front row seat to seeing a hunter can have that. Garth’s a hunter who turned into a werewolf and he can have that. 

When EP’s talk about how they aren’t headed for a white picket fence or driving off into the sunset or settling down, none of that rules out them finding...something...with someone, and some form of stability and contentment.  Nope, I can’t really imagine them in the suburbs becoming dentists. But canon sure is putting up big neon arrows to...something. Think outside the box. This isn’t about the white picket fence. 

And in The Heroes’ Journey, Dean, conked out on the good gas so Garth can fix his teeth, has a trippy dream where he dances with a lamp.

Rewatch the ep. Look at how the dance is choreographed not just the use of light, because that’s a clue too. The whole dance could have been Dean and Garth being dancing bros, but Garth fades off the stage, and Dean dances alone...until he grabs the standing lamp. In a season where Dean and Cas’s relationship is an A-plot, define it how you like, it’s A-plot. Their breakup and their reconciliation, which played like a marital breakup and reconciliation, are tied to major mytharc beats. In a season where a long-running textual theme about Dean’s developing hope for retirement and his wistfulness about “things...people...feelings...” is getting further play. Where Dean and Cas’s relationship continues to be one of the show’s most central ones.

Dean dances with a lamp. While his emotionally fraught, intense close relationship with Cas--A BEING MADE OF LIGHT--has a long-running arc and recently more and more textual level content spelling out the sublimated romantic interest in small words, while there’s an arc about Dean’s yearning for that stability, contentment, a significant other.

CONTEXT. 

We don’t think Destiel’s “going canon” because Dean dances with a lamp, it’s that Dean dancing with a lamp is kinda loud serving as reflection of canon textual arcing. Sometimes subtext adds a layer. Sometimes subtext is directly tied to the surface layers, an echo, a highlighter.

I’ll just be over here, crying because Dean danced with a lamp.