#with only two people over thirty but obv that's okay

[ronearoundblindly]

Surprise blurb bomb!

You knew better than to take the elevator of the old building, but you gaslit yourself that it would be fine. Newsflash, it wasn��t fine, and the old box got stuck between floors. It’s okay, though, because you knew the fire station wasn’t far away. You called the fire department to come rescue you, and as the doors open, you’re greeted by a warm smile from the man standing on the ladder. He lifts you out like it’s nothing and personally checks that you’re okay. He knows it’s not very professional, but he just can’t help how badly he wants to ask you out. Who’s your babe?

Ok, I went through SEVERAL scenarios until I arrived at my choice. (Also, I don't know how FDs work and I think that will become clear at some point while reading this...)

First, I thought Johnny Storm, obvs, because firefighter makes sense. He'd be the young, cocky kid who is used to being hit on by all the ladies of all ages. He'd be impressed when he reaches into the elevator compartment to find you not only alone but perfectly calm. He sees damsels in distress everyday really; he's bored of the type. You, however, are intriguing.

Second, I went for the painfully typical of me and thought Steve, DUH! He's just so sweet and generous with his time. He's so patient while you gather your thing strewn about the elevator floor and secure your hand in his. He is a consummate professional, so he blushes and looks away when you adjust your skirt. The fabric rode up your thighs, and he may have seen a peek of underwear, naughty boy. He considers it only gentlemanly to buy you a drink and maybe dinner to make up for it...

BUT THEN!

Finally, I landed on Curtis.

He's a grouch today. The whole team has seen it. He does nothing but hang out with the guys, and there's only so much bro-ing one can take before throwing a tantrum. He misses quiet, delicate, soft things. He misses quality time. He's BIG TIRED.

He just put out two blazes in the last six hours when they received a call about a jammed elevator three blocks away. Captain sent him over because the fire was almost entirely contained, and the last time they waited even five minutes to respond to a power outage emergency like this, some poor schmuck had a coronary and died in front of the other four people trapped in the lift!

The department doesn't need that type of shit storm in the press again, never mind they simply outsourced the call in the midst of six floors on the east side of a building going up in thirty minutes flat.

Anyway, Curtis is grumpy, the epitome of grumpy, and he sucks on his teeth the whole time he's yelling into the cracked elevator door to remain calm.

"Oh, hi," you chirp with a little wave once he's pried open a foot of leeway. The most urgent thing you seem to do is put your bookmark in place before standing up.

Curtis huffs out a chuckle, relieved to see it's just you and you're perfectly fine.

Curtis also sees that you are, well, perfectly fine.

The kind of 'fine' he could be quiet, delicate, and soft with. A quality sort of 'fine.' And grumpy-ass Curtis is so tired he just blurts out that you two should have dinner in celebration of his heroic rescue. He really, really likes that your first thought is not keeping him from helping someone else today.

"Not a chance, sunshine. I earned a bite to eat. Only question is whether or not you need carryin' down to the restaurant..."

Thank you for asking!

[ambrcsialtm]

i feel like, with the rise of discord rps and ofc twitter rps still rocking thru, i should let yall know abt some underrated instagram baddies that you can use as fc’s ( unless they express discomfort ofc ! ). most of them don’t have a lot of tumblr resources but are v pretty so 🤷🏽‍♀️ enjoy some of my fav female-identifying fcs below the cut, with their instagrams linked !

lori harvey ( twenty - four )

diba bayan ( twenty - three ) 

valentina voight ( twenty-three )

sza ( thirty )

coco jones ( twenty - three )

westafricandol ( twenty - three )

lian bailey ( twenty - one )

emma ashleigh ( twenty - three )

dina denoire ( twenty - two )

deyjah harris ( nineteen )

savannah palacio ( twenty - four )

flo milli ( twenty - one )

victoria monet ( twenty - seven )

china anne mcclain ( twenty - two )

sav montano ( twenty - four )

lucky gill ( twenty - three )

shallyzsa ( twenty - one )

diamond k. white ( twenty - two )

imaan hammam ( twenty - four )

symphani soto ( twenty - eight )

parker mckenna posey ( twenty - five )

hadar adora ( twenty - four )

rubi rose ( twenty - two )

leyna bloom ( thirty )

serenasmokes ( twenty - two )

emma ellingsen ( nineteen )

makayla mashelle ( twenty - one )

bbyambi ( twenty - three )

indya marie ( twenty - seven )

geor.ginnaa ( twenty - two )

amiyah scott ( thirty - three )

india westbrooks ( twenty - five )

bree westbrooks ( twenty - eight )

jasmine rae ( twenty - five )

val mercado ( twenty - eight )

taylor giavasis ( twenty - three )

trinity bandit ( twenty )

rielbabie ( twenty - one )

alexa steele ( twenty - five )

glowprincesss ( twenty - three )

trace lysette ( thirty - three )

alxcext ( twenty - four ) 

looseunicorns ( nineteen )

maria isabel ( twenty - six )

venezia cruz ( twenty - two )

chantelle lee ( twenty )

jade amore ( twenty - two )

jordyn woods ( twenty - three )

zion moreno ( twenty - eight ) 

aisha potter ( nineteen )

sharon alexie ( nineteen )

leslie sidora ( twenty - nine )

julia fox ( thirty - one )

faith montoya ( twenty - two )

banita sandhu ( twenty - three )

janvhi kapoor ( twenty - three )

nxshaya ( twenty - eight )

adison justis ( nineteen )

charly jordan ( twenty - one )

latecia thomas ( thirty )

tabria majors ( thirty )

chandler goodwin ( twenty - six )

angelica bernard ( twenty - three )

venus marquez ( twenty - two )

elinda san ( twenty - five )

paloma mami ( twenty - one )

mariah the scientist ( twenty - five )

kehlani ( twenty - five )

[tintinwrites]

Sunday Morning With Pedro Characters but I’m Only Slightly an Asshole to the Characters

I love Pedro and everyone’s fics and headcanons for him and I’m kind of nice in this one anyway.

Agent Whiskey

you have brunch every Sunday and yes it is at Denny’s

it’s a little nice, though, listening to the mixed conversations of all the other people in the restaurant as the two of you quietly enjoy a meal

Jack keeps smiling across the table at you and it makes something in you flutter

“You make a man like myself enjoy Sunday morning like a black-bellied whistlin’ duck enjoys a quiet swim in the crick.”

you’re not sure how much a black-bellied whistling duck enjoys a quiet swim in the crick, but he reaches across the table to hold your hand over your Grand Slam and runs his thumb gently over your skin and you then understand everything about black-bellied whistling ducks

brunch is followed by a drive in that thing he calls a car

sometimes you go back to your or his place and canoodle (his words, not yours), but then there are times when he parks his car in a secluded little spot and you “come across the goods” (HIS WORDS, NOT YOURS) in the backseat

Sunday mornings with him are relaxed, but you are going to end up with your legs above your head thanks to that Southern charm

Comandante Veracruz

he sleeps in for an entire half hour

wakes you up with a smack to the ass so hard you wake up in another dimension

you mumble something to him about being a normal human being as he presses sucking, biting kisses along the side of your neck

“Your breakfast is ready.”

you know exactly what he means don’t even pretend you don’t it’s pressing into your thigh

and you suck his dick bc it’s fun and it makes him real soft afterwards (in two ways!)

he pounds two orgasms out of you with his fingers then gets up to get ready for his day

Sunday mornings with him are sexual obvs and then you lay in bed watching him gel his hair until he pats your ass and tells you to get up

Dave York

he’s never in bed when you wake up and that includes on Sundays

always sitting over a desk working on something that he won’t tell you about

it doesn’t really matter that you’re wearing his favorite sexy little nightgown and pouting in the doorway bc he doesn’t even look at you

“Go for a walk or something, I’m busy.”

you usually end up alone eating bland af eggs bc he doesn’t own seasonings since, and you quote, “Salt is spicy enough.”

but then he comes into the dining room with a self-satisfied smirk and he kisses your temple and takes you over the dining table real quick

do i mean quick

Sunday mornings with him are lonely and then sweaty...so sweaty...you don’t understand how he can sweat so much from thirty seconds of sex

Din Djarin

whatever the Star Wars equivalent of Sunday is, no one is the same with Din

sometimes you’re with him on a hunt for a bounty, sometimes you’re alone on the Razor Crest to watch the Child as he works, and then there are your favorites

no bounties, no running, just a handful of credits and some good food and lodging on the nearest good planet

“He likes it here.”

this is something Din muses as he watches the kid play with other younglings or explore or happily eat a new food

but sometimes you look up to find he’s staring at you as he says it and you wonder if he’s talking about himself without really telling you

you’ll probably tell him you love him on one of these days

Sunday mornings with him are different, but nice just because you’re with him. You especially like the ones where he’s happy and almost calm and let’s you in his room once the Child is asleep

Ezra

you’ve been up for an hour and he’s still passed out, face down in bed, snoring his head off

I don’t know if ‘noon’ exists in this world but that’s when he’ll be up

you’re walking around doing what needs to be done when you see him looking up at you with a little smile

“Your inimitable beauty is even more prominent in this morning light.”

you tell him it’s not morning and roll your eyes when he says he’s hard either way

he seems sleepy but he WILL jump out of bed if you try to walk away and drag you back in with him

yes he eats your pussy without you needing to ask him

Sunday mornings with him are lazy for him as you occupy your time, then both of you stay in bed all lazy until it’s time to go prospecting

Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales

the only way you’re waking him up before eleven is by wiggling your ass or hips into his dick, depending on the position you were sleeping in

he works hard and Sundays are his day where he does nothing but you

a little sleepy and mumbling things, he’ll take you slowly and sweetly

“G’morning. So beautiful. You like that?”

he’ll make sure you both cum then promptly pass out for another ten minutes

he pads into the kitchen with his hair stuck up all over the place and wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing your neck for a few minutes before helping you make breakfast or lunch

you pretty much eat and bang all day

Sunday mornings with him are soft and sensual and the most loving thing e v e r

Javier Peña

you woke up alone before Javi and when you first started sleeping with him

you couldn’t really blame him for being scared of attachments in his line of work. you were scared too

then one day you were shaken from a stakeout and you begged him to stay when he was still inside you, and he started falling asleep in your bed a bit more often

“You need some good dick in the morning?”

he teases you with this when he's sitting up in bed, turned away from you as he takes a drag of a cigarette, and you crawl over to kiss his back

you need him in the morning but you don’t want to scare him off

the two of you usually end up with some sort of pastry or street food for breakfast, which you eat in a comfortable silence

Sunday mornings with him are lonely even when he’s standing right there by the window with a cigarette or a drink, and yet he finally makes your Sundays enjoyable and fulfilling

Marcus Pike

he’s an early riser, but he let’s you sleep as long as you need to when there’s nothing to be done

sometimes he accidentally wakes you up a little when he’s kissing your nose for the eight time and he quickly backs away to let you fall back asleep

he does try to wake you up before noon just to be sure you eat something, presenting you with some kind of breakfast whether he made it or bought it from the nearest cafe

“Hey, sleepyhead. You need to eat something, beautiful.”

you nibble on a doughnut or a bagel as you lean into his chest, and he mostly steals bites because it makes you laugh

morning sex with Marcus is the best sex with Marcus

okay any sex with Marcus is the best sex with Marcus because he cares so much about your pleasure but morning sex is so soft and gentle

Sunday mornings with him are like...a breeze on an empty beach with the waves crashing gently on the shore. Perfect. Also he wants to give you a life, and a home, and a family if you want it

Maxwell Lord

wakes up at six AM exactly, works on his hair until seven, and is in a suit and downstairs by 7:15

he reads the paper. the business pages. yes.

you come down to the kitchen at eight and as you gently tell his personal chef what you’d like to eat, he snaps his fingers at them to speed it up

“Someone’s lazy today. Where are my slippers?”

he’s a fuckin jerk but hey he puts his hand on your thigh as you eat breakfast and maybe his thumb rubs little circles sometimes

your Sunday sex is scheduled for 9:30 and he will do it wherever he’s flexible and there’s enough mirrors in the house for it to work for him

the one day of the week he decides you can orgasm tbh

Sunday mornings with him are rich. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s like being married to a rich man in 1954. There’s waffles.

Max Phillips

this man wakes up pretty damn early for a vampire thanks to his executive bullshit

an actual Sim who stands in front of the mirror for an hour practicing his speech

he finds blood to drink somewhere and you just let him as long as it’s not from you

“Selling is service. Service is selling. Sex sells. Oh, hey!”

that’s him realizing you’re standing there and thinking about sex with you

he mentions making a sex tape of the two of you to sell and you ask if he even shows up on film and the boy POUTS

a handjob fixes that tho so

Sunday mornings with him are...interesting.

Oberyn Martell

you’re probably still fucking from Saturday night

I don’t even know if days of the week exist in Game of Thrones thanks

there are other people in the room including Ellaria so it’s not just you and him alone

“I’m starving for you.”

yes he eats pussy for breakfast and someone else is probably sucking on your titties

you’ll probably end up sucking his dick for your own breakfast

and you’ll be riding him too

Sunday mornings with him are like any other morning with him; fuckin’.

Pero Tovar

he wakes up an hour before sunrise

doing men’s work I DO NOT KNOW WHAT MEN DO

you wake up and make him his breakfast because that’s what a good 1100′s wife does

“Good morning, woman.”

he eats like he’s angry at the food but you know he loves it

there wasn’t much to do back then so some good ole baby-making sex is next

then you cook his second breakfast duh

Sunday mornings with him are very Middle Ages.

[bedlamsbard]

Luke and Leia?

two problems: one, I think when they made the ST the writers and directors swayed closer to Mark Hamill’s and Carrie Fisher’s personalities rather than what Luke and Leia would have been like thirty years on -- for me, this is more noticeable with Leia/Carrie than Luke/Mark, and there’s some knock-on of this in the books/comics.  (This is probably true for Han and Harrison Force, too? But I feel like they were closer together originally, and then having Alden!Han balanced some of it.)  Which is not to say that there shouldn’t have been any Carrie in Leia, obviously, but for me there’s a big disconnect between EU Leia and current canon Leia, bigger than just different writers and different canons should account for.

two...these are somewhat messy feelings, and they are very, uh, I have a feeling. not that these other thing isn’t, obvs, but this is also very I Have A Bias And It’s Called Rebels.  I really am resentful of the fact that Rebels decided to sideline its main Jedi characters for whatever reason -- yeah, there’s the oft-cited “you’re the last one!” or whatever the actual line is from the OT, but that’s something that’s easy to handwave away in the ancillaries.  Even Yoda’s cameos in Rebels show him as kind of waving off Kanan, Ezra, and Ahsoka (god, I really hate Henry Gilroy’s take that Yoda controlled everything in the Jedi temple in Shroud of Darkness, he might be the writer but I disagree); I’ve always gotten the vibe that Yoda in this era was completely focused on the Skywalker twins as the solution to the Sith problem, and everything else was essentially extraneous.  Which, tbh, works for Yoda, because Yoda.  Obi-Wan in Twin Suns...honestly, doesn’t feel right for Obi-Wan?  And Obi-Wan comes out and goes “this is not your story!” wow, way to make the subtext text, Dave.  (He and Gilroy wrote the ep, which I just realized when I went to check the writer, and wow, that explains a lot about my problems with it.)

I think there was a chance to do something really interesting with Rebels by presenting an actual rival to Luke as ~savior of the Jedi, or ~future of the Jedi, or however you want to frame that.  And honestly, S1 seemed to be going there.  And then Rebels started leaning away from it -- slowly at first, and then faster and faster, until we get to the “we’re making the subtext text” part in Twin Suns and then straight-up killing off Kanan and flinging Ezra into space in S4, along with whatever the hell they’re doing with Ahsoka.  And I don’t necessarily mean “rival to Luke” in terms of “Ezra and Luke have to fight” (though I do genuinely believe that Ezra’s and Luke’s approaches to Jediness and how to be a Jedi are so different as to be essentially incompatible), but in terms of “is this actually Luke’s Destiny?”  Is the role that Luke played in restoring the Jedi to the galaxy (ST and whatever went down prior to that aside) actually something that only he could have done, or was he the only option?  Rather than actually deal with that question, SW went the (in my opinion) lazy route and went with “he had to do it because he was the only option.”  (And honestly, not dealing with whatever the hell Ahsoka was doing between Malachor and the Rebels epilogue and/or Mando, which is still at minimum a good ten years, actually makes this worse.)  If your means of dealing with a character’s role in a story arc is to get rid of all the rivals before they can actually be rivals (and again, I mean, like, thematically, not literally), then to me that says that role is not something that they could have been able to accomplish otherwise.  For me it really weakens Luke as a character, and that’s to the detriment of both Luke and honestly the entire saga story arc.

okay actually there’s a third thing about Luke and Leia -- I said this on Twitter before the Mando finale aired and because it was many moons ago I now can’t find it, but honestly?  Star Wars is weakening its main story line by no loner telling big name stories about the OT trio.  These are supposed to be big name famous characters who have all accomplished extraordinary things, and yet as far as Mando is concerned, they might as well not exist.  Up to the finale there was not a single piece of evidence that Luke or Leia actually existed, and even the Luke cameo...they can CGI Mark Hamill for that because it’s not going to have lasting consequences.  If it was going to have lasting consequences, they would have recast.  (I mean, if he’s got a recurring role next season we can revisit this in 2022, but until then.)  These are saga characters!  These are people who have RESHAPED THE GALAXY.  They should have an impact in Star Wars’ big name ongoing projects in one form or another!

The impression I get right now from the current slate of upcoming projects is that Star Wars is gambling that their viewership is, by and large, more interested in the greater Star Wars universe than it is in established Star Wars characters.  They may be right; Mando is certainly very successful.  The upcoming character spin-offs -- Ahsoka (yikes), Andor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Lando project -- those are all main characters but they’re not the main characters.  And honestly, we’ll see how this goes.  It may go well.  It may go poorly.  It may be all over the map.  (this is the most likely option.)  I did love Solo, but as far as Lucasfilm’s concerned, and a lot of the mainstream audience, it was a flop.  The post-RotJ EU and the post-RotJ new canon have varied in that the new canon has, with a few exceptions (which are not ~mainstream, with the exception of Battlefront II), mostly shied away from telling stories revolving around the OT trio.  The longer they go without doing that, without showing the impact that these people have on the galaxy, that they have right now -- the more they’re weakening the impact that Luke and Leia ought to have.  Yeah, I came in from the EU, I do think that Luke and Leia should be, to some extent, living myths.  The problem is that Lucasfilm wants to do live action TV and frankly, I think they’re wary about recasting Luke and Leia after Solo.  (Even though Alden is a great Han, imho.)  This is honestly the perfect time to do a post-RotJ animated series -- use Mark Hamill’s VA skills! he’s not going to live forever! that gets around the Carrie Fisher problem! the weird Force shit works REALLY well in animation in a way that it does not in live action, and come on, don’t Luke and Leia deserve to deal with the weird Force shit too? WOULD YOU NOT ACTUALLY LIKE TO SET UP FOR THE SEQUEL TRILOGY sorry it’s star wars dumb question

[4haechie]

son of apollo!donghyuck

pairing: son of apollo!donghyuck x child of athena!reader genre: fluff, comedy, some adventure/action, pjo au, e2l au words: 3,173 warning: couple of curse words here n there a/n: i reference a bunch of pjo characters in this so if u haven’t read pjo *crowd booing*

so donghyuck’s the son of apollo right

there’s like no arguing when it comes to that

he’s extremely talented at singing and making music, dancing, rapping, songwriting, so he’s no doubt apollo’s offspring

and he’s naturally gifted at archery as well

you can’t spell haechan without ACE teehee

u on the other hand

you’re athena’s child

you love to read and write you’re incredibly smart ofc

you love competing and winning and taking part in strategy making to bring your opponents DOWN 💅🏼

athena’s the goddess of wisdom as well as warcraft so needless to say you’re exceptional in both fields

you’re not just textbook smart, no no, you’re able to apply all the knowledge you learn…well…irl

not to mention you’re good with all kinds of weapons

ur fave weapons include swords and spears :D

you’re okay w knives too!!! and daggers!!! you’re not picky

but you’re better w longer blades just cuz u have more experience w them

fun fact: you’re the head of the athena cabin and donghyuck’s the head of the apollo cabin

you’re both great leaders, always doing your best to make the best strategies to win capture the flag, the chariot races, and other fun activities chiron plans for the campers 😁

but . you guys are Sworn Enemies

actually the better term to use would be “rivals”

you guys r So competitive to the point where you actually developed a rivalry during your first few years at camp half-blood

donghyuck LOVES to win but so do you… so obv he’s gonna go out of his way to make sure he/his cabin wins

that doesn’t mean you’ve ever backed down from his challenges…

if he’s competitive you’re twice as competitive

one day after breakfast during your fifth year at camp when you’re both about 18, chiron decides to host a good old game of capture the flag

u know . for old times’ sake 😼

once he makes the announcement you immediately turn to your cabin mates

“we have to win no matter what”

“y/n, it’s just capture the flag. we’re not fighting gaea”

“bitch are u in or not”

the entire dining hall is buzzing with excitement

nothing makes a demigod’s day like a capture the flag announcement 😌

chiron suddenly grabs the megaphone again and calls out “this time however there’s a little twist,” he chuckles as everybody goes silent

you raise an eyebrow

“you’ll be in teams of course. everybody has to play. there’s twenty cabins, so there will be ten teams of two cabins each. i’ll pair you guys up myself. each pair gets a flag–so there’s ten flags in total. the game will be won by the pair who manages to collect all flags and brings them back to their base before anyone has the chance to steal their own flag.”

the demigods burst into intense chatter and discussion once more

you turn your head back to your siblings and tilt your head in slight confusion

you’ve never played capture the flag in teams before

“anyone but apollo. i’m literally begging. sam, pray to athena right now”

“y/n RELAX”

“i think if we’re partners with apollo’s cabin i’ll actually jump into tartarus”

“…”

“what? percy and annabeth survived” 🙄

chiron pulls out a scroll and calls out the pairings one by one

poseidon and demeter, hades and ares (good luck to them), so on and so forth

your heart keeps racing . athena’s name has not been called out yet

and just like that your worst fear comes true

“athena cabin with apollo cabin. the game will commence in thirty minutes, which is how much time you have to prepare. good luck and stay safe!”

you drop your head into your palm (aka head in hands meme jpg)

“this is the worst day of my entire life”

“y/n, you’re hands down the most dramatic person i’ve ever met”

maybe it’s just you–bc your siblings seem fine with the apollo kids

they have so many apollo cabin friends :(

curse u and donghyuck’s little rivalry that the entire camp and chiron knows about

so him putting yall together definitely was not a coincidence cough cough

can u blame him

🌤🌈 he just wants all of u to get along 🌈🌤

he’s seen w his own two centaur eyes what happens when demigods fight between themselves

it’s not healthy

he needs u guys to get along bc u and donghyuck are some of the best demigods at camp rn

ur quick wits and amazing sword skills

his position as the camp’s best archer

imagine how powerful yall would be if u two worked together

if only you got along from the start.. but nooooo

ur egos r just too high F

but anyway, back to the present

you’re sitting there, head in your hands, dreading this already when some of the apollo kids swagger over to your guys’ table

donghyuck is in front of them as he scoffs after seeing your dreadful state

“why the sad face, y/n?”

you lift your head up to see him hovering over your seat and roll your eyes

you get up and your siblings follow

you’re just gonna have to make do. you don’t have time to complain

the thing is

you’ve only lost capture the flag once 👎🏼

a few summers ago the apollo cabin defeated the entire camp leaving everybody speechless

it’s true they didn’t defeat JUST you but somehow you thought it was personal

you had the PERFECT record 😕

zero losses . only wins

but bc of the apollo kids your cabin’s record was tarnished

which is sorta why you started hating them (esp donghyuck their leader) so much

donghyuck caught on immediately and made it a point to compete just as hard as u

so yea. that’s how you became rivals

he knows how much ur gonna hate working with him but u don’t really have a choice now do u :/

so he knows exactly why u have a sad face

but this is donghyuck we’re talking about

just bc yall r “rivals” doesn’t mean he’s not gonna tease u 😂😂😂

(or maybe he teases u bc he thinks ur cute and he hopes one day u realise him teasing is actually donghyuck for flirting 🤭)

“you know damn well why, lee donghyuck”

“oh c’mon i think it’ll be fun! if we combine our skills, we definitely have a hundred percent chance of winning”

you cross your arms and glance at your siblings who just shrug in agreement

you sigh loudly

“don’t even think about fucking this is up, donghyuck. and just so we’re clear, i’m in charge”

he laughs, “yup! got it”

so you start talking strategy

you only have 30 minutes so you need to make the best of it

you divide the two cabins into pairs so that an athena and an apollo kid will be paired together and in charge of smth diff

you have plenty of people on your team – 5 in athena’s cabin and 5 in apollo’s cabin

some will handle weapons and safety gear, some will handle mapping out the playing area which was basically the entirety of the woods, some will be setting up traps near your team’s flag to prevent others from coming close

30 minutes quickly pass and after dividing the work and planning your strategy with donghyuck and friends you turn your attention back to chiron who has his megaphone in hand

everyone’s told to gather outside the dining hall at the open field before the game commences

you, donghyuck, and your teammates briefly talk strategy once more . just to make sure everybody knows what they’re supposed to do

“let the game begin!” chiron blows a loud whistle and the demigods scramble out of the field, going to their designated flag locations

your spot is near a little creek, but the forest around your flag is quite dense so u figure it’s relatively hard to locate

it’s not that late so the afternoon sun makes your skin glisten with sweat

“damn, can you tell your dad to chill tf out for a while,” you tell donghyuck jokingly

he just rolls his eyes but on the inside he’s kinda glad you’re being casual with him rather than 😡😡😡😡😡 like u normally are

u don’t know what it is about him today but u swear he’s acting different around u

he wasn’t… as annoying while discussing strategy ????

he actually ?????? listened ?????? to what u had to say 🤔🤔🤔🤔

he didn’t argue, he didn’t even throw around witty burns like he usually does w/o hesitation

u were like… is he ok

little do u know!!! he actually l*kes u 🤭🤭🤭

well… it’s not a 100% fact that HE himself knows as well

but his siblings caught on to his weird behaviour n figured smth was up

mark being one of hyuck’s closest friends n siblings in the apollo cabin, realised he was acting weird ever since yall got grouped together

he seemed nervous ⁉️ which he never ever is

he’s like the most confident person mark’s ever known

so mark was like *thinks*

after putting two and two together mark came to the conclusion that he might have a small crush on u

bc hyuck kept glancing over at u, kept talking abt how ur a good leader (he’s never gonna tell YOU that tho. he crossed his heart on that one)

mark was like i didn’t even ask but ok

mark was confused at first tho cuz everybody and their mom knows about your guys’ rivalry so why tf would hyuck have a crush on someone he considers his rival

mark decides not to get ahead of himself bc hey!!! maybe he doesn’t have a crush, maybe he just thinks ur a good leader

like that’s it u know?

LMAO 🤫

so anywayz where was i

ah right

the flag

OK SO ur team’s flag is yellow ! :D

it’s like the colour of sunflowers

you and donghyuck r in charge of guarding the flag while ur team members scout around for the other flags

easy peasy

you and donghyuck are at your base now, weapons drawn just in case

the flag is hung on a poll couple feet taller than you

you’re dressed in ur usual training clothes – a pair of washed out shorts, a very old orange camp half-blood shirt; your sword’s sheath hanging from one of the belt loops of your shorts

donghyuck’s dressed similarly – a pair of blue ripped jeans, the same orange camp shirt tucked into them, but he has a purple flannel on, which he takes off and ties around his waist

“it’s so freaking hot,” he says, mentally agreeing with the comment u made about apollo earlier

“tell me about it”

there’s a silence that follows, the only sound heard is the subtle flow of the creek water

you’re thankful for the silence

it’s easier to keep an ear open for opponents on their way to steal your flag

just as you think about it, an ares and a hades kid approach your base

they’re on the other side of the creek, less than ten to fifteen feet away

“hi y/n,” the hades kid you’re kind of close to says

you shoot him a fake smile before holding your sword in front of you

donghyuck pulls out an arrow from his quiver and nocks it in his bow, aiming for the two demigods in front of you

the creek isn’t that deep, so the two demigods cross it with ease

they have their weapons drawn; they’re now a couple of feet away from you and more importantly the flag

no words are said as donghyuck lets his arrow fly and knock the hades’ kid sword out of his hands

he didn’t use an arrow with a sharp tip, you note

the hades’ kid stumbles backwards, imbalanced after he gets unarmed

you stand your ground as the ares’ kid scrambles forward, attacking you with her sword

your blades clash defiantly

you continue to spar with all your might

from the corner of your eye you see that the hades’ kid, sword back in hand, is battling donghyuck on your left

the flag is right behind you and donghyuck; you can’t let the two demigods get near it

you and the ares kid are still battling each other, putting all your strength into making sure she surrenders

but u should know better

ares and athena kids have many similarities like their love for winning, their confidence in battle, etc.

it’s like looking in a mirror

you don’t have anything against this particular ares kid, though

“c’mon, y/n, give up already”

that REALLY makes your blood boil

you never give up, no matter what

with one final blow of your sword, you knock her sword out of her hands, making her think she distracted you with her words

she goes flying back, half her body landing in the creek water

her sword lies in between you and her, but you doubt she’ll have the courage to fight again

the hades kid sees this and quickly scrambles away from hyuck, picking up the ares kid’s sword and giving her a hand up

“this is why i hate you and your siblings–your huge ego always gets in the way,” you hear the hades kid grumble to his partner as they run away from you, shame written all over their defeat

hyuck laughs and wipes sweat from his forehead

you can’t help but laugh either

you love it here at 🧡 camp half-blood 🧡

a few moments pass as your teammates emerge from the dense woods, each pair with a different colour flag held between them

you smile in victory

you quickly bring down your flag from its pole and give it to hyuck

“me? it was your plan…”

“yeah, but i couldn’t have done it without you, hyuck”

he almost passes out at your choice of nickname

back at the main hall, chiron announces your team as the winner, and that the prize yall being excused from doing chores all week long!!!!

it’s not much, but hey, at least you and hyuck ended up working together and winning the game, right?

later, hyuck pulls you aside from your cabin mates, and walks you to the lakeside

you two sit at the deck, side by side, watching the water doing nothing in particular

you watch as hyuck swings his feet lightly, his toes barely touching the water

“y/n, do you hate me?” donghyuck asks out of the blue

you’re like 😳 what

now that he asks you that . like straight up . it makes u think

do u REALLY hate him

or do u just hate losing to him

“why would i hate you?” you question back

“i don’t know? i guess because of our, um, rivalry thing i thought you can’t stand me”

you play with the beads of your camp necklace

“i don’t hate you, donghyuck. i just hate losing. i guess it’s the athena in me,” you laugh at how lame you sound

“i hate losing too, but i don’t hate you, in case you’re wondering.”

he takes a deep breath

“i know we started going against one another ‘cause of that one time my cabin won capture the flag, but i don’t want things to stay this way,” he pushes his hair back

“i guess what i’m saying is… i like working with you.” he pauses

“yeah,” he says, as if more convinced now, “and i would really like to get to know you better,” he clears his throat, very clearly embarrassed

you laugh at his flustered state

“stop laughing at me,” he stretches the last syllable as he lightly shoves you with his shoulder

you’re trying even harder to not laugh now, but for his sake, you hold it in

“that’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever said”

he crosses his arms, “i’m always cute”

you’re like. THE NERVE?????? 😒😒😒

“how ‘bout we go slow? i mean, we just became un-enemies, we’re gonna need to be friends first, right?” you poke his shoulder

“you make a good point”

“i’m literally athena’s child, but okay”

“shut up!”

✨ time skip ✨

both u and hyuck stay at camp over the holidays which means more bonding time!!! yay!!!!!

a year has passed and u and hyuck r basically bffs, attached at the hip, and everybody except mark is surprised as fuck

rmb the days when hyuck thought u were “cute”?

welp 🤭 he’s at that point where everything u do makes his heart flutter

yeah… he likes u Like A Lot

u have no clue abt his feelings for u and he has no clue abt ur feelings for him either

exactly a year after the iconic capture the flag game, ur both seated at the deck by the lakeside, side by side, again

“y/n…there’s something you need to know”

“if you’re gonna tell me about the mixtape you’re dropping with mark, i literally don’t want to hear it”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME”

“YOU GOT THE ENTIRE CAMP’S HOPES UP FOR NO REASON”

both of you burst into fits of laughter

after calming down, he shoves your shoulder lightly with his shoulder, like he always does (only to u tho)

“no, seriously, i need to tell you something”

“what’s up?”

“i,” he pauses, clears his throat, “like you. a lot–i have for a while now.”

you swear your heart stops beating and your brain explodes

HE? LIKES? U?????????

he continues, “i don’t know if you like me back, but i’ve been wanting to tell you this for so long–guess i didn’t have the courage until recently,” he lets out an airy laugh

you’re looking at him in the eyes now; a subtle shimmer of the afternoon sun sparkling in his eyes

“hyuck, i like you too. how could i possibly not?” you chuckle at his shocked expression

he goes :O

he’s genuinely speechless when you lean forward and press your lips ever so softly onto his

you literally feel him freeze, which worries you for a second, but your worry is washed away when he slowly kisses you back

you melt right then and there

he takes your hand in his, interlocking fingers, as you pull away, a faint pink blush painting both your cheeks

“wow”

“really, y/n? that’s all you have to say? what happened to being wisdom’s child, huh?”

“donghyuck, i SWEAR to ALL THE GODS–!”

your sentence is cut off when he presses his lips onto yours again, you smile into the kiss which causes him to smile with you

he kisses you again and again, and then again, until you’re both a giggling mess

“let’s stay like this forever, yeah? what do you say?” he says, bringing his lips to your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back and looking at you

you look at your intertwined hands, and then back up at him, “i’d like that”

[thefledglingdm]

so here’s another essay that maybe 0.5 people asked for? because i rewatched set it up and now someone great and in so many ways i think i arguably like someone great better???? so here is the long-winded rambly mess of me being emotional over this movie. info is below the cut, no pressure to read just bc i’m having rom com feelings this saturday night!!!!

for those of you who have never seen someone great (why are you reading this? i’m flattered but why), here’s a quick summary: when music reporter jenny gets an amazing new job opportunity, bad news comes with it: she has to move cross-country. to top it all off, her boyfriend of nine years breaks up with her because he doesn’t want to move with her. enter her best friends erin and blair, who decide to send off their best friend in style with a mind-bending 24 hours of partying and emotional catharsis.

a disclaimer: this movie also has a special place in my heart because it came out right as i was getting set to graduate from grad school. so many of my friends had moved on and moved away already, but i was about to do that, too, shucking off the safety blanket of school and entering into the “real world.” and this movie, i think, uniquely captures that feeling in a way no other film i’ve personally seen does? more on that later.

GOD where even do i start.

jenny so captures the feeling of being dumped. the anger, the ugly, loud crying, the messiness of it, the drinking, the up-and-down bevy of ping-ponging emotions. she belts lizzo’s “truth hurts” in her underwear, in her kitchen, drunk. her best friend then walks in and joins her. like yes THAT is what girls and breakups feel like.

(obvs not for everyone but i felt seen)

(the night of one of my college breakups ended with me on my best friend’s floor, wine-drunk and full of domino’s pizza, critiquing her presentation for an upcoming history conference.)

her best friends are there for her and love her and support her, taking the day off work to stay with her. but they also give her tough love when she needs it. and she does need it.

also that bond between women bc jenny is just bitching about her breakup to a random woman on the subway and she’s like, “yo fr???? he sucks”

this movie is also so hilarious???? these girls have been best friends since college and it SHOWS. they do all these goofy silly things together, they have in-jokes and references, they make fun of each other. they tease each other about their boyfriends/girlfriends. they smoke and drink and get high together. they SWEAR. they have foul mouths and my bffs and i did too.

god the LINES. like

“yo. i went to say hello to a chihuahua outside our building, and it was a fucking rat.”

“it’s... like a green juice smoothie. that’s kind of genius.” “she made me try it. it’s fucking disgusting. i am drowning out here.”

“we’ll tell them her mom died!” “oh my god????” “ugh, fine. her aunt.” “i don’t think you understand what is fucked up about this suggestion.”

“ooooh, you gave me my favorite mug, you do love me!!!” and the mug is a mini-toilet.

“blair, watching you take down all those carbs has been the highlight of my whole, entire life.”

“what happens next???? i turn thirty and then i probably die.”

*sobbing* “and like.... i really want to go to the farmer’s market with you. that sounds really nice.” “great fresh produce.”

the representation is so good??? jenny is Latina; erin is a Black lesbian; erin’s girlfriend is a South Asian designer.

no i’m gonna go into my thesis now which is that this is the only movie i’ve seen that actually serves as a “coming of age” movie that is not aimed at  teens. it’s not about finding yourself in high school or college or coming to terms with your sexuality (which are all important!!! but as someone in my mid-20s, who has graduated and is comfortable in my gender and sexuality, those movies aren’t for me. and i hadn’t realized how much i needed a movie like this for me until i saw it for the first time). 

this is a movie about looking around at your life and realizing that you’ve outgrown it. this is a movie about what it’s like to keep growing up, because you don’t graduate college/grad school and suddenly you’re an Adult and it’s all Figured Out. it’s not!!!!! and that’s okay!!!!!! you may think you have a Life Plan but then it goes off the rails and things change and it’s hard and it’s scary and it’s okay because we all feel it. we all grow up.

like.... people fall out of love. relationships change. people get jobs and move away. it’s scary. and the way that it’s described.... jenny’s realization that her breakup with nate was a long time coming, because they actually hadn’t been happy in a long time. when blair breaks up with her boyfriend in the single most amicable, polite breakup scene i’ve ever watched. they’re not angry or hurt, they’re relieved. and it’s so refreshing to watch an example of a breakup that is a relief, because two people are being freed from their own expectations, of their lives, of each other, of themselves.

and this also talks about the fear of really, truly falling in love for the first time. the vulnerability, the recognition that now everything in life is changing.

when jenny holds her best friends and confesses, “i don’t know life without this.” when erin screams that she is afraid of everything about growing up, because that means that she needs to change. truly everything about jenny’s goodbye letter to nate.

god i just. “i don’t know life without this” hits me in the fucking face because that’s exactly how i felt about living with my best friend and moving out to move in with my partner, about my eboard group of besties splitting and moving all over the country, about my group of friends that supported me through the worst moments of my life and encouraged me to embrace myself, my healing, and my sexuality? and there was something Terrifying about the notion of moving away, about all of us separating and growing apart. and to see a movie that showed that that fear was natural, and it was okay, and there were some friendships that last forever? and even if they don’t, that doesn’t mean they were without love and meaning? it was something that i needed at the end of my education career.

also jenny and erin joke about apparently facetiming each other on the toilet and that made me scream bc my best friend and i literally do text each other each time we shit, and also it’s usually at the same time. you know you’re besties not just when your periods sync, but when your shit cycles do, too.

yeah i feel like we’ve all gotten to know each other really well in this post.

also the soundtrack FUCKING SLAPS. the intro to lorde’s “supercut?” jenny singing along to selena’s “dreaming of you” in her bodega? jenny’s realization that things are truly over between her and nate, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, and it’s okay, to jessie reyez’s “great one?” jenny cry-singing to “truth hurts” by lizzo? the super-fun scene of the three getting ready for their hedonistic night out to lil kim’s “the jump off?” cinematic brilliance.

also the cameos??? jaboukie young-white and rupaul are in it. they’re hysterical, especially jaboukie young-white oh my GOD

tl;dr this is the coming-of-age movie to women in their mid-20s when we feel like Death Is Coming at age 30 when really life is just beginning. life is about change. sometimes we outgrow our lives, and that’s okay. 

anyway please watch this movie look how ADORABLE and CUTE and BEAUTIFUL THEY ALL ARE

[kittybellestark]

Okay I think Time Can Heal All, But Maybe Not This has been out long enough that I can actually talk about it

If you haven’t read TCHABMNT yet there’s gonna be some spoilers but you can find it here

EDIT: I forgot to talk about May bc I did this at night when I was really tired and my brain just wanted to talk about Peter ig, that is my absolute bad so I added that in everything else is the same tho

So obvs y’all know I had troubles with getting it published here and there’s still been some struggles but I wanna actually talk about the story.

So I started writing it a few months ago but only got 7 paragraphs in before not knowing where to bring the story. Originally the line “And Peter is terrified” was supposed to end that paragraph.

After that the fic was going to be all fluff and Harley and Tony trying to reassure Peter that his insecurities aren’t going to come to fruition.

But then I had a bad day. And the story had been sitting in my drafts forever. So I figured out how to continue the story.

Make Peter feel alone.

I had to keep the snap canon because otherwise there’s be no other plausible way for all of Peter’s family to just ditch him and for Flash and Peter to become friends.

I had to make it so that everyone in Peter’s life moved on without him.

So May moved to Italy and has a boyfriend who Peter assumes will be her husband by the time he’s 20, she has her dream job and is doing what she loves.

She moved out to Italy to forget Peter. It was for selfish reasons, she lost everything in her life, her husband, his family (Peter’s parents), her parents had died years prior and now Peter is also dead. She’s left alone and she doesn’t know what to do. So May moves to Italy to forget Peter and forget the pain and grief she feels. She doesn’t want to remember him.

By trying to forget she finds a new life. She’s a version of who Peter could have become. May is alone with no one, left behind in a world that lost everything. She has a new family and she can’t give it all up to move half way across the world. May would be uprooting her whole family. She moved on from Peter. Tried her hardest to forget him.

May wants to have a relationship with Peter, she just mentally cannot handle having him back in her life because then that opens up the possibility of Ben being back in her life, or her parents, or Peter’s parents even. By acknowledging that Peter is back for more than a phone call or a FaceTime it’ll send her spiraling. May has crafted this reality for herself and it is safe and she cannot give it up.

She loves Peter, of course she does, but having him back will only hurt her more.

I still think it’s canon, in this story,  that Tony reversed what Thanos did for Peter. And I couldn’t just kill Tony off either because that wouldn’t really be as painful as Peter just not having contact with him after everything.

It’s not because Tony just forgot Peter existed that they don’t really talk at the beginning. Obviously the affect of snapping left Tony seriously injuries and I referenced that in the story, “…Tony needed a lot more attention after the snap due to his injuries…” so Peter doesn’t really have the full idea of what his injuries are like, but I imagine pretty horrible, which would mean that Pepper wouldn’t be able to move him very soon.

Not to mention Morgan, who is born post snap and now the world had doubled in population and suddenly her father is so badly injuries he can’t be moved. That’s traumatizing on a child of her age, and then try and move her into the city?? That’s going to cause lasting affects on her mental health so of course the Starks are going to do what they can for Peter, but they have some really big things they need to deal with too.

But the Starks did move back into the city for him, it’s just a little late, because Peter is now going away for school. It’s not that they didn’t put an effort in to be with him, it’s just that they were spread thin between the Tony’s recovery, having Morgan cope, the company, what’s left of the avengers, trying and get themselves back to the city and being in the midst of what is probably an economic crisis.

When Peter turns 22 there’s a line “Just some empty seats and empty promises,” which isn’t much to go on, but a little bit later when Peter is thirty I wrote that Tony also has an 8 year old son. So Tony and Pepper were supposed to go to Peter’s MIT graduation, but she went into labour and they couldn’t go. It’s such a small little thing that’d be easily missed, but I wanted to sprinkle in that Tony and Pepper were trying to make an effort with Peter at least. But then they have another kid and being parents is hard enough, but now two kids? That’s hard, they’re going to forgot to prioritize Peter, especially when he hasn’t been a priority yet.

I felt it was important to give Peter someone though. Which is why Peter and Flash are friends through the story. It’s unlikely, and it wouldn’t have happened had they not been left behind. In the beginning I had wanted to have Flash and Peter get together romantically at some point, but that felt like a cop out, and too predictable. Which is why Flash ended up with Peter’s P.A, Gwen (yes Gwen Stacy). Having Flash move on with his life could either give Peter the idea that he could have what Flash has, because they’ve been in the same boat forever, or it could lead him to think that he’s incapable of having a life like that.

I had originally written that Peter tells Flash about Spider-Man, about how he can’t put on his suit without getting really bad flashbacks and panic attacks about what happened. But I didn’t want to turn this story to be about Spider-Man, because it’s not. This isn’t about Spider-Man’s struggles to get the suit back on and save people, this is about Peter’s struggles with mental health and his addiction. In my head Peter told Flash when they were still in high school, sitting on the bleachers in the evening, drinking a bottle of whiskey that Flash stole from his Dad’s liquor cabinet, which would also be the beginning to Peter’s alcoholism. But I ultimately didn’t feel like it was necessary to add to the story. It is something I’m willing to write out in the future though.

It felt really important for me to make everything in the story connect with each other. Peter goes to school at MIT, which is in Boston, where Ned lived when he was an adult (and we know that’s also where Tony went to school), and Peter is in California when he meets Harley again, where MJ went to school (Tony also previously lived in Cali). Everything needed to be connected to the life Peter lost. Which is also why there are so many similarities in Peter’s life now and Tony’s life before he settled down.

Tony went to MIT, well now so does Peter. Tony is an alcoholic with preference for whiskey? Yeah, Peter too. Tony is pretty much alone except for Rhodey? Peter is also alone, but he has Flash. Tony had suicidal and self-destructive tendencies? Peter has only tried killing himself multiple times. By making Peter into a version of Tony, it brings a reference to SM:HC, where Peter says after the ferry boat accident, “I just wanted to be like you” and Tony responds “And I wanted you to be better.” Peter is Tony, he’s just found fame and fortune at a different time, runs his own company and makes ground-breaking research that will help the world.

It’s why Peter is so hurt when he’s called (look a SM:FFH reference) “The Next Tony Stark.” He already is Tony Stark, except he doesn’t have the happiness or the family Tony currently has. Peter just has Flash and his assistant Gwen (just like young Tony only had Rhodey and Pepper). Peter being a version of Tony Stark, he can’t really see an escape. He is so horribly hurt and the only way he can see there being peace in his life is if he isn’t alive. Which is why he continues to try and kill himself.

I didn’t want Peter to die though, I wanted him to find something that would make life tolerable. Which is why I reintroduced Harley. Peter tries to ignore Harley, pretend he doesn’t recognize him, because Peter doesn’t want to remember his past and who he was and what he lost anymore. Harley being there is such a big reminder of who he used to be and who he wants to be, that Peter wants Harley to go away. He doesn’t acknowledge that he knows Harley, even when Harley all but says ‘I’m Harley Keener’ to Peter. At this point in the story Peter made up his mind that he is going to die. There was no other option, but then this beacon of hope shows up and Peter doesn’t want it anymore.

I think by reintroducing Harley it was important to never say that Peter and Harley end up together or that they’re still in contact. I left that pretty open ended because Harley just swooped in at the last second and stopped Peter from killing himself. Peter’s recovery is clearly not an easy one because that was when Peter is 30 and it’s only when Peter turns 32 that he’s one month sober. It was important that you don’t know who is Peter’s family. Because maybe it’s not the Starks or MJ and Ned or Harley or May. Maybe Peter moved on from his past they way they all had and has finally made peace with life, or maybe Peter’s past is now in his life again and he’s happy because he has what he always missed.

Everything in this story was so deliberate and there’s so much that I did that’s just these small little things and I love it so much. I think it was important to see Peter struggle with life and death and his mental illnesses.

So yeah, I’m completely in love with this story and if you guys have any questions about it please send me some asks and I’ll totally answer them, I’m just not over this story yet and I really want to talk about it some more !!

[illfoandillfie]

Countdown To Christmas

Pairing: Lucy Boynton x Reader x Gwilym Lee

Summery: When Gwilym reveals he has no plans for Christmas Day, you and Lucy invite him to spend it with you.

Warnings: SMUT (18+), Christmas themed girlfriend fluff, orgasm denial/edging, threesome (obv.), dom/sub/dom dynamic, oral sex (m and f receiving), spanking, sex toys - vibrator and strap-on, a teeny tiny bit of cumplay

Words: 9020 (jesus)

A/N: This is my secret santa gift for @laedymoon​ for @dtfrogertaylor​ ‘s Thank God It’s Christmas event! El, I got very excited when I found out I was going to be writing for you! You are my tumblr daughter/wife and I love you so much. I had a lot of fun writing this (I really don’t write either Gwil or Lucy enough) and I really hope you enjoy it!! 

Taglist:  @laedymoon​  @dtfrogertaylor​   @ezmina98​  @vee-ndetta​ @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ @deakyclicks​ @jennyggggrrr​ @drowseoftaylor​  @hannafuckingsucks​  @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​ @queenmylovely​ @supersonicfreddie​

THREE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

Normally you didn’t leave gift buying so late but this year things just seemed to have slipped away from you. To be fair, a lot of the big things you’d already bought. Your parents were taken care of, and Lucy. And besides, you didn’t really mind heading into the city so close to Christmas. It made you feel festive, especially as the sun faded and the strings of lights decorating each street and shopfront came to life. Aside from the crowds of people hurrying to finish their shopping, it was quite lovely. Light snowfall, a line of kids waiting to get their photo taken with Father Christmas, a choir huddled together singing carols. It just made you more excited for the actual day. You shook your head and squeezed Lucy’s hand as you tried to remind yourself that you weren’t there for the festive ambience, you had things to do.

Together you and Lucy entered Harrods, heading straight for their Christmas display. You were mostly looking for smaller items, fun and maybe a little gimmicky, for the friends you were likely to see over the holiday season and your neighbours, a thank you for collecting your mail while you and Lucy had been away earlier in the year. “D’you think Pam and Harry would like a cookbook?” you asked Lucy as you browsed one of the tables of “Gifts For Her” the store had laid out. “I don’t think they’re that big into cooking. What about this cocktail set? See it’s got a shaker and a couple of flavours,” “Isn’t Harry a teetotaller?” “Oh, shit you’re right, okay forget that. Maybe a puzzle?” Lucy laughed as she pulled the suggestion out of thin air, giving you a look that plainly said Lord I don’t know. You were about to suggest searching in a different part of the store, hoping something would leap out at you as the perfect gift, when a voice caught your attention. “Lucy? Y/N?” “Gwil!” Lucy smiled as the tall, bearded man came over, “Fancy running into you here.” “Finishing your shopping?” “Yeah” you said, “thankfully almost done. What about you?” “I’ve been given a slight reprieve this year. Not doing the whole big family thing we had planned.” “Oh no, what happened?” “Oh it’s not that bad Luce. My parents decided they wanted to spend the holidays somewhere warmer so they’re on a cruise in the pacific right now. And then my brother’s family have all come down with some sort of cold or flu or something, so we’ve all decided to save our festivities until new year's. It’s great though, means I haven’t had to rush buying presents or anything, only looking for something for my niece and nephew now.” “So you’ll be alone on Christmas? Why don’t you come over to ours instead?” “I couldn’t intrude like that,” “Don’t be daft, not intruding if we invited you,” Lucy laughed, “Seriously, it’s just going to be me and Y/N all day. We’re going to my parents for Boxing Day lunch but other than that it’s just the two of us and we’ve already bought more food than we could possibly get through on our own.” “You really don’t mind?” “Of course not Gwil! You’re practically family anyway. We’d have invited Ben too but Y/N spoke to him last week and he’s already got plans.” “Alright, you’ve twisted my arm, I’ll be there.”

You chatted to Gwilym for a little longer before he left you to wander around in search of suitable presents once more. Both you and Lucy agreed you should get him something too, although, distracted by other people’s gifts and a little worn out from having to navigate the crowds, it ended up slipping your mind. It wasn’t until you were at home, sitting on your living room floor wrapping your haul that you realised. “Hey what happened to that book about the Welsh rugby team? The one we were going to give Gwil?” you asked as you finished writing on the gift tag of the present you’d just wrapped. “I thought we decided he’d already read it and left it behind.” You looked over at the small Christmas shrine you’d created. With only the two of you, and your house being more cosy than spacious, you’d decided not to worry about the whole big tree thing. Instead you’d bought a kitschy fiber-optic tree that was small enough to sit on a little table and surrounded it with tinsel, a few cards you’d received and a candle that smelt like Christmas pudding. There was enough space under the table to stack the few presents you’d be opening come Christmas morning. Each of you had two to open, something naughty and something nice, a decision you’d made as soon as you realised you’d not be seeing anyone else all day. “We have to get him something.” “Okay but I’m not going back into the city two days out from Christmas. It’ll be mad and everything’ll be sold out.” “Well what do you suggest then Luce?” She furrowed her brow as she thought for a moment and then she looked at you. “I know that look Lucy, whatever your idea is it’s dangerous.” “Not dangerous. Risky maybe.” “Spit it out then,” “What if we gave him a threesome?” You laughed but stopped when you realised she wasn’t, “Bullshit, you’re not serious are you?” “Well I’m sure he’d like it. Isn’t it every guy’s dream to have a threesome with two girls?” “I wasn’t saying he wouldn’t like it. Just didn’t expect that to be your first idea. You really thought threesome before you thought of the weird little shop up the road?” “That shop wouldn’t have anything Gwil liked, it’s all incense and crystals and hippie stuff. And you have to admit it’s a hot idea. He’s hot. Can’t say I haven’t thought about it before and I know you have too.” “Okay true I have.” “Good, so we’re doing it?” You considered for a moment, “Fuck it why not. It would be the best type of present since it’ll be as fun for us as it is for him. So then how to we give it to him? Like just blurt it out when he arrives or, a piece of paper that says redeem for one free threesome or something?” you laughed and shook your head at the slightly ridiculous turn the conversation had taken. “What about a little coupon book? Then we can give him some other things too in case he doesn’t actually want a threesome. Wait here,” Lucy pushed herself to her feet and ran off down the hall. You listened, bemused, as she opened and closed cupboards, rifling through them and pulling various things free, only returning when her arms were full. She dropped back to the floor next to you and laid everything out. Scissors, a stapler, a stack of paper, coloured pens. “Love, your artsy farsty, you wanna design a cover for the coupons? And then maybe write some things out in nice lettering?” Lucy pushed the pens towards you with her toes as she began mocking up a template to use as a size reference. You plugged your phone into some speakers and shuffled your Christmas playlist, both of you singing along as you set to work creating Gwilym’s present. By the time you were done you had a very cute little book of coupons, suitably decorated with festive colours and a little bit of glitter you’d remembered you had. Inside were ten coupons ranging from One Free Hug to One Free Threesome. You stood up and stretched as Lucy wrapped it and added it to the pile under your little tree.

TWO DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

Lucy had splodges of batter over her shirt, a mishap with the electric mixer, and flour smudged across her nose and cheek, entirely your doing. She’d got you back, a smear of brown sugar over your forehead though you rubbed it in and thanked her for the exfoliant. Her attempts to act unimpressed, making a big show of rolling her eyes and telling you to get back to work, were admirable but the giggle gave her away. The kitchen itself wasn’t faring much better, splatters of butter and flour and sugar littering the bench and a few spots of the batter that covered Lucy’s shirt also decorating the walls. It was a shame really since you’d spent most of the day cleaning, intending on having the place spotless for when Gwilym arrived. “Is it meant to be that sticky?” Lucy asked over the Christmas playlist you’d once again put on, trying to compare the recipe on her phone to the concoction currently sitting in a blob on the bench, “I thought it was supposed to be firmer?” “Maybe it’ll fix itself as you knead it,” you shrugged, “just put down some extra flour.” “Maybe Gwil will bring some store bought gingerbread with him and save us from ourselves,” “It’s not that bad, look,” you grabbed an extra handful of flour, scattering it over the dough and bench, coating your palms in the remnants. Lucy took a step back, “those come no where near me Y/N, I swear,” You held your white palms up to her innocently before taking to the dough, pushing and pulling it until it began to form a smooth ball which you placed on the beeswax wrap Lucy laid out, “see, nothing to worry about.” “S’pose we’ll find out for sure in half an hour when we roll it out.” She took the wrapped up dough from your hand and placed it in the fridge, “Siri, set a timer for thirty minutes.” While her back was turned you began tidying up the sack of dirty dishes, collecting a little of the mixture that still clung to the edge of the bowl on your thumb, “You don’t have to wait that long,” “Wasn't it half an hour? I’m sure that’s what the recipe said.” As Lucy turned eyes on her phone, trying to find the right part of the recipe, you caught her, sliding your thumb across her bottom lip and spreading the sticky batter there. She looked shocked for a minute before her tongue darted out to taste it, “okay, that’s really good,” a grin spread out across her face as she took a step towards you, and then another, and another, backing you up against the bench. One of her hands fell to your waist as the other cupped your cheek and she brought her lips to yours. You hummed, sucking some of the sweet spiced mixture off her lip. “What do you think?” “Yeah we nailed it,” “Mmhmm, good,” Lucy reached behind you, running her finger along the side of the bowl, collecting more of the leftovers. Slowly she slipped the finger between your lips, biting her own as she watched you suck it clean.

By the time the alarm went off Lucy was sitting on the clean part of the bench, your hands resting on her thighs as you made out. The rude beeping blasted through the jazzy rendition of White Christmas, and your moment, making you spring apart in surprise. Lucy, face flushed and demeanour flustered, giggled as she reached to turn off the alarm, “effective way of killing time,” “Could keep killing time, perhaps in the bedroom,” you trailed your finger over her thigh as you spoke. “But the dough’s ready, we can roll it out now.” “The dough will still be there in a couple of hours.” Lucy raised an eyebrow. “An hour? Half an hour? Fifteen minutes?” “C’mon,” she slipped off the bench, “grab the cutters, would you?” “Not even fifteen minutes?” you waited but Lucy didn’t say anything, “Fine, s’pose baking is almost as fun,” You turned to dig around in the draw for the cutters Lucy had bought. You managed to find them as Lucy lay out more flour and picked up the rolling pin, two cutters shaped like men, one like a Christmas tree and one like a heart. Together you pressed them out and lay them out on the baking trays, occasionally sneaking bits of the raw dough into your mouths. “They look really good,” Lucy said as she placed the last one on the tray. “They’ll look even better when they’re cooked,” “Ha ha ha. Just for that you can stick them in the oven and keep an eye on them while I go have a shower.” “Sure you wouldn’t rather I join you?” you traced your fingers lightly along her shoulder, hooking them under the strap of her bra. Without warning you pulled the strap away from her and let it go, making her squeal as it snapped back against her skin. “You’re a shocker, Y/N.” “You’re the one who put her fingers in my mouth so really I think this is on you.” “Just don’t let them burn.”

For a few minutes you stayed in the kitchen, scrolling through your Instagram feed, liking a few friends' posts about their own holiday activities, as you absentmindedly hummed along to the music. But that got old fast. Figuring you’d smell the biscuits burning if anything went wrong you left the timer ticking in the kitchen and headed out to the lounge room. The Christmas shrine caught your eye. Surely it wouldn’t matter if you had a little peek. Not even a peek, just a rattle. Just to see if you could guess what Lucy had got you. It wasn’t like you were going to unwrap it early, just play a little guessing game with yourself. You tiptoed a few steps closer to the bathroom door, listening to make sure the water was still running and then, having decided the coast was clear, you scurried back towards the tree. Carefully picking up the smaller of the two gifts baring your name, you examined the tag. A red dot. The naughty present. It was in a box, that much you could tell, but it didn’t help you narrow it down much. The size of the box didn’t really give anything away either. It was just an average sized box that could hold any number of naughty items. You gave it an experimental shake. And then, when you didn’t hear anything move, another shake, harder than the first. Still nothing. Perhaps that meant it was made from a soft material, or perhaps Lucy knew you’d try to figure out what she got you and intentionally packaged it so as to limit its movement. Either way, there were too many possibilities for you to work out what it was, so you put it back and reached for the nice present. “And what are you doing?” Lucy’s voice startled you. “Just rearranging, making sure the pile was steady.” “Sure, that’s believable.” “Oh come on Luce,” you turned around on your knees, “not like I was doing anything bad,” “Trying to work out what I got you for Christmas isn’t bad?” “No, it’s not. I’d say it’s perfectly reasonable.” “Well I’d say it’s impatient. Little bit bratty,” You bit your lip, your breath hitching with the word. You knew what bratty meant. “But you’ve been a little impatient all day haven’t you. Wanting to get me into bed before we finished baking. So maybe you need to learn how to wait. And you can start by waiting for me on the bed. No clothes and no touching.” You made to stand up but Lucy just tutted at you. “Didn’t say you could walk, you know how much I like looking at your bum.” With an eyeroll you dropped back to your knees and began crawling towards the bedroom door.

Lucy made you wait for fifteen whole minutes before she followed you into the bedroom. “Luce, what the hell took you so long?” you asked, leaning against the headboard. It had taken every ounce of self-control you had to not touch yourself and you were already feeling antsy, ready for more. “Had to pull the biscuits out since you decided to misbehave before they were done,” she crossed the room, heading towards your cupboard and dug around inside for a moment. When she turned around she held a vibrator in her hand, “And you’re learning a lesson about patience, lucky I didn’t make you wait even longer.” You groaned, suspecting where things were headed. Lucy just chuckled as she moved towards the bed, dropping the vibrator onto the sheets as she kneeled beside you and pushed your legs open. Slowly she ran a finger through your folds, “Already wet for me. Good girl. You ready?” “Yes,” your voice sounded airier than normal, even to your own ears. With one hand she tugged on your hair, making you tilt your head back so she could capture your lips, continuing the kisses from earlier. Her other hand remained between your legs, fingers dragging through the slick and spreading it over and around your clit. You whined at the contact, hoping that if you sounded enticing enough Lucy might forget her plans to punish you. It didn’t work. Her fingers pressed against you firmly, drawing you closer and closer to the edge, leaving you panting against her lips, and whining when she pulled her hand away. “Patience, my love.” “You’ve got that look again. I’m not going to get off tonight, am I?” “Clever girl. Don’t think you’ll be getting off before Christmas Day.” “Lucy,” you whined, but she just laughed, leaning back to remove her own shirt. “Weren’t you wearing a bra before? Distinctly remember snapping the shoulder strap.” “Couldn’t be bothered after the shower. Figured you were going to take it off anyway but then of course I found you being so naughty,” Once more her fingers found your clit, “and my plans changed.” You could feel the familiar tingle creeping up, your hips shifting automatically in an attempt to find more friction. Christmas Day suddenly seemed an age away and you weren’t sure you could wait that long. Perhaps if you distracted Lucy enough, she wouldn’t realise how close you were getting, and you’d be able to steal an orgasm. Licking your lips, you directed your attention to her chest, dragging your tongue along one of her breasts before sucking her nipple into your mouth. Her fingers faltered for a split second and her breath hitched but she didn’t stop. Christmas music floated from the kitchen where it was still playing, but neither of you were in any frame of mind to think about changing the playlist. The sound was punctured by your muffled moan as Lucy pulled you towards the edge, followed by a soft squeak from Lucy herself, as you reach up to tweak one nipple, and drew circles with your tongue round the other. For a moment you thought your plan had worked, that Lucy was distracted enough, but then she pulled her hand away, making you whine and release her breast. “Awww, baby thought she’d get what she wanted?” Lucy mocked, taking your chin in hand. “Maybe,” “Baby was wrong,” she let go of your chin, tapping your cheek twice, “Think we’ll do one more for now.” Before you could say anything in return Lucy had picked up the vibrator and pressed it to your clit. You hissed as she turned it on low, your clit on the verge of being sensitive. It took less time for you to reach the edge again, a combination of the vibrator’s stimulation and how much you’d already endured. She waited until the last possible moment before she pulled the vibrator away, leaving you panting the word please as you tried to grind against thin air. “You’re done, for the moment at least. Might give you a few more before I let you go to sleep,” as she spoke Lucy stood and kicked off her pants and underwear, “But now it’s my turn. Here, hold this.” You took the vibrator from her, tempted to quickly use it on yourself, consequences be damned. Instead you waited. “Oh, good girl. You’re learning,” “Does that get me a reward?” Lucy laughed, “Bold. But yes, alright. It’s not the reward you want though, just a kiss,” she tapped your leg, indicating you should close them, and straddled your waist. You let her pull your arm into position, so the vibrator pressed against her pussy, and turned it on. She hummed as it came to life and brought her lips to yours. Each moan and whine she made was swallowed by you, the kiss only getting deeper and sloppier as she rocked her hips against the buzzing machine. It was close enough to your own skin that you could feel it’s pulsing, but nowhere near close enough to give you any real pleasure. Instead you had to be content with Lucy’s fingernails digging into your shoulder, her teeth scraping over your lip, her legs beginning to tremble as she hovered over you. Her lips parted from yours as she repeated the word yes over and over, her breaths gasped in between, culminating in a long moan as she hit her climax, shuddering through it. “Oh god,” she whined, grabbing your wrist to push the vibrator away. You turned it off as her head fell to your shoulder, still panting as she came down from her high. “You sure you don’t want to watch me cum like that?” “Positive,” she giggled into your shoulder. “Damn.” “Come on, we should get up, gotta finish tidying the kitchen and then I think it’s cheesy Christmas movie time.”

ONE DAY UNTIL CHRISTMAS

You weren’t entirely sure if the morning started off good or bad. On one hand, you woke up with Lucy’s fingers sliding through your slick folds. On the other, she edged you twice, resolutely sticking to her plan to keep you denied until Christmas. You considered that morning to be when she broke you. Of course, you’d played with denial before but for the most part it only lasted however long it took for Lucy to cum two or three times and then she’d take pity on you. The most you’d done was one day and that wasn’t even by design, just an accident while you’d been staying with your parents for a weekend. So the previous evening it had all seemed like a game, a joke even. Surely she was stringing you along. You’d not worried if you came across as bratty, confident that by the time you were hoping into bed she’d give in. Now though, after she’d sent you to sleep with another edge and then woken you up with two more…perhaps she was serious. You were rapidly losing confidence that it would end on Christmas Day, half convinced she was having too much fun to actually let you cum ever again. The idea that she was going to keep you wet and desperate for days rather than hours was scary and overwhelmingly erotic. Knowing that no matter how many times you asked, no matter if you got down on your knees and begged for it, she wasn’t going to give in, only made the need grow. When she was satisfied with the way you whined please she lay down and spread her own legs, telling you it was time you repaid her generosity. “Could have edged you more, kept going until you were so sensitive you were begging me to stop. But I didn’t. So how about you show me some gratitude,” Perhaps it was because a part of you hoped good behaviour would earn you a shorter punishment, or perhaps you just wanted something to take your mind off the way your clit was throbbing, but either way you were laying between her legs within seconds, without so much as a muttered comment about unfairness.  

Despite the uncertain beginnings, Christmas Eve went well. The morning was spent decorating the gingerbread you’d made the previous day, a process just as sticky as the actual biscuit dough had been, especially since there was a small mishap with the red food colouring that left a stain on the benchtop. But eventually you had a decent selection of coloured icings set out in piping bags as well as decorative sprinkles and the like. You and Lucy let your artistic sides take over as you gave the gingerbread men faces and buttons and sometimes hats or scarves. Silver and gold balls adorned the trees like little baubles and Lucy used the sprinkles on a few of the hearts to spell out yours, Gwilym’s and her own initials. When you were done you carefully packed most of them away into a Tupperware box to keep them safe, though you picked out a few of the funnier looking ones to snack on while you watched another cheesy movie.

Halfway through the movie the phone rang. “I’ll get it,” you said, pushing yourself off the couch. Lucy’s hand had been wandering higher and higher up your thigh for the last few minutes and you had already begun to feel the heat in your cheeks rising. The phone call was a good excuse to calm down a little before she could have you begging again. “Hello?” you said into the receiver. “Y/N? Hi, it’s Gwilym.” “Oh! Gwil, hi! You’re not calling to cancel tomorrow are you?” you turned to lean against the wall as you spoke, watching Lucy as she watched you. “No, no, the opposite actually. Wanted to make sure you’re still okay to have me,” You held back a giggle at the unintentional double entendre although you gave Lucy a look, pumping your eyebrows, “of course we’re okay to have you,” “Excellent, really looking forward to it,” “So are we. It’s going to be fun,” Lucy laughed, and you had to cover the receiver so Gwilym wouldn’t hear you struggling not to join her. “I should have asked this when I saw you the other day but do you want me to bring anything?” “Oh um, I think we’re all good for lunch. We’ve got turkey and a few different sides. Plus a Christmas Pudding and we’ve just finished decorating some gingerbread biscuits. If you want you could bring another bottle of wine or two, or maybe some mince pies, but if you can’t be bothered don’t worry about it.” “Wine and pies, think I can handle that.” “Seriously, only if it’s no trouble. We’ve probably got way too much food and drink as is and you will definitely be leaving with some leftovers.” “What’s Christmas without plenty of leftovers? I’ll be happy to take as much as you want to part with, anything if it means I don’t have to cook or go grocery shopping for a few more days.” You did laugh at that. “Anyway, I should let you get back to whatever you were doing,” “Watching Christmas movies,” “I caught Love Actually on TV Last night, still holds up.” “So did we! Absolute classic,” Gwilym’s laugh crackled through the receiver, “Definitely a classic. Oh! Almost forgot, what time do you want me there?” “How about elevenish? Should give us time for a pre-lunch drink.” “Sounds great. Thanks again for inviting me, I’ll see you tomorrow,” “It’s our pleasure! See you then,” you hung up the phone and turned back to the couch, “Gwil just wanted to know if he should bring anything.” “Yeah I gathered,” You dropped back into your seat and Lucy’s hand went straight back to where it had been before you answered the phone, as if there was a magnet pulling her towards your thigh.

By the time the credits were rolling you’d lost track of which movie you’d been watching, too preoccupied with how badly you wanted to cum. “Please Lucy, please.” “Stop asking, it’s not going to happen.” “Can you at least fuck me properly? Keep edging me, I’ll be good and I won’t complain, but I need you to do more than rub my clit, please.” “You want me to finger you hard and fast? Or maybe you want to be fucked with my stap? Wanna feel me deep in your pretty little pussy? “Yes, please,” “You’re really desperate, aren’t you?” she sounded almost surprised by the turn of events. All you could do was nod your agreement, “C’mon Luce, please? You’ll have so much fun and I promise I’ll behave,” Lucy giggled, “I’m already having fun just knowing what a whiny little slut you’ve turned into. And as much as I’d enjoy fucking you, I’m not going to. I want Gwil to see how pathetic you are right now. Besides, you’re way too close and I don’t want to risk you going over.” You whined and let your head hit the back of the couch as Lucy laughed.

CHRISTMAS DAY

You woke before Lucy did, grogginess gone the second you realised what day it was. A glance at the clock told you it was just after 9.00. Carefully you slipped out of bed, pausing when Lucy made a snuffling sound, holding your breath as she snuggled deeper into the warm covers. Careful to skip the squeaky floorboard outside your bedroom door, you tiptoed from the room, thankful you’d had the foresight to slip a pair of socks on as you changed into your pyjamas the night before. As quietly as you could you made your way to the kitchen where the speaker was still set up and grabbed it. Then, just as quietly, you made your way back to the bedroom. With one eye on Lucy’s peaceful figure you set the speaker down and turned the volume up high. You were ready to run the second you hit play on the Christmas playlist, an entirely too loud rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer suddenly filling the room. Lucy damn near screamed in shock, yelling your name as she sprang out of bed and chased you from the room. “Y/N you bitch! I’m so going to get you for that!” You were cackling as she chased you through the house into the living room, stopping with your arms outstretched when you ran out of escape routes. “Wait wait wait,” you said hurridly, almost needing to yell to be heard over the music. “Better say something good or I’m going to have to end you,” “I love you?” Lucy lunged forward and you took a step back, hitting the arm of the couch. On most days you would have been able to duck under her arms and continue running through the house but not today. Today your knees gave way as they hit the arm sending you toppling backwards onto the cushions. Before you could even think to roll off the couch Lucy took the opportunity the universe presented her with and climbed onto your lap, effectively pinning you down. You squealed as she began tickling you. “Luce, god stop, I’m gonna pee my pants,” “You deserve it! That was so mean!” “Bu- ah! - But I’ll ruin the couch,” She stopped suddenly, “Fair point,” You were still panting as you grinned up at her, “Merry Christmas, by the way,” “Merry Christmas,” She said, leaning forward to peck you on the lips. “You gonna let me up?” “Okay but you have to make tea,” “Sure, as long as I can go pee first. I was not joking about that.”

You were just bringing the tea out of the kitchen when Lucy, having turned down the music and brought the speakers out to the living room, called out to you from where she sat on the floor, “Hey, we should open our naughty presents before Gwil gets here,” “Ooo yes, definitely. Here, take this,” you handed her mug down to her, followed by your own mug, “you want some gingerbread?” “A heart please,” “So picky,” you shook your head but collected the requested biscuit anyway. When you returned and took your own seat Lucy handed you the box you’d examined two days previously. You pulled out the gift you’d wrapped for Lucy from the small pile and handed it over. Together you unwrapped your presents, wrapping paper flying as you tore into yours though Lucy was a little more careful. Your gift was a set of silky-smooth lingerie in Egyptian Blue. “Do you like it? I thought the colour would match your eyes,” You ran your fingers over the floaty babydoll, “It’s gorgeous, I love it,” Lucy broke out smiling as she finished unwrapping her own gift, “Well this is interesting,” she began pulling items out of the hamper you’d created, “A candle. Didn’t know you were interested in wax play.” “Not what I had in mind. Mostly just a mood setting thing, but I s’pose your idea could be interesting.” “What else have we got, hot rocks, massage oil,” “Actually, it’s a massage oil slash lube that heats as you rub it in.” “So this is for a sexy massage then,” “Mmmhmm. That’s also why there’s a bullet vibrator is in there.” “Does this mean I can expect you to treat me to a massage sometime?” “Absolutely. I’d say let’s do it right now if Gwil wasn’t coming over.” “Definitely don’t want to be interrupted,” Lucy leaned over to kiss you, “Thank you, it’s lovely and I can’t wait to try some of this stuff out. Maybe I’ll keep you denied until you show me how it all works.”

When Gwilym arrived the presents were safely shut away in the cupboard in your bedroom, the turkey was cooking, and you were on your second lemon, lime and bitters. You opened the door to find him wearing a dorky Christmas sweater and carrying two bottles of wine, a box of Mr Kipling’s Mince Pies, and two packages wrapped up in paper decorated with snowflakes. “Hello hello. Merry Christmas” Gwilym kissed you on the cheek, a few flakes of snow clinging to his beard. “Merry Christmas to you too! Let me take those off you,” you took the wine and led Gwilym through the house to the kitchen, “Can I get you a drink? We’ve got all sorts, bitters, gin, whisky, a bit of champers, some mulled wine going on the stove,” “I’ll start with some of the wine if that’s alright,” “Work your way up to the strong stuff?” “Precisely. Lucy, Merry Christmas,” “And to you Gwil,” she said as he dropped a kiss to her cheek too. “Where can I stick these?” “Presents? Gwil you didn’t have to,” “Oh hush, it’s Christmas, as if I wasn’t going to.” “Fair enough, well, I’ll take the pies, add them to the rest of our goodies. If you take the presents out to the living room, you’ll see where a couple already are. Give me a second to grab a drink and I’ll be out.”

You handed Gwilym his drink and led him out to the small tree, both of you taking a seat as you chatted. Before long Lucy joined you, drink in one hand, box of gingerbread biscuits in the other. As soon as she was seated you got stuck into the presents, torn wrapping paper and excited exclamations flying. The larger present from Lucy that you’d been caught trying to peek at turned out to be a new record player, and the one of Gwilym was a fancy notebook and fountain pen. Lucy loved the vintage hand mirror and set of blush and highlighters you got her, almost spilling your drink as she tackled you with a grateful kiss when she realised it was the mirror she’d seen in an antique store and regretted not buying. She’d gone back for it a week later and found it had been sold. “God I am so glad you finally know!” you laughed as she sat back down and examined it, “You kept going on about it but I’d already bought it and hidden it and I had to stop myself from laughing or spilling the secret every time you brought it up.” Gwilym bought her a book about fashion and style in the 1960s which, while it didn’t elicit quite the same response, was enough to earn him a bright smile and a tight hug. Finally, there was one present left. “That’s yours Gwil, from both of us,” Gwilym wasted no time in unwrapping it, dropping the paper to the ground as he looked at the cover, “Coupons?” “Look inside,” Your stomach felt tight with nerves and you glanced over at Lucy who was subtly shredding a scrap of wrapping paper. With a curious glance at both you and Lucy he began flicking through the pages, “One free hug, nice, a free meal. Do I have to use that to get lunch today?” “No, we’ll give you today free anyway, but you can come back and cash that in any time you like.” “Cheers,” he laughed and kept flicking though. You knew he’d reached the last page by how wide his eyes went. “Does this mean what I think it means?” “If you think it means Lucy and I are inviting you to sleep with us both then yes it does. Do you like it?” “Yes, Christ yes. Do I have to spend it today or is it like the meal one where I’m guaranteed a threesome because it’s Christmas?” “No, that one has to be cashed in I’m sorry.” “Then I’d like to cash it in now, please.” “Right now? You only have one, you sure you want to use it so soon?” Lucy asked. “Positive.” “Don’t want to save it for later tonight,” “Surely we’ll be too full and tipsy to move later,” “Good point.” “So, um,” he seemed a little unsure of how to progress, “how is this going to work?” “Just like sex normally does but there’s an extra person?” “More meant what are your limits and that sort of stuff, Luce” “Yeah I know, was pulling your leg.” She looked over at you as she spoke, “I mean, I think we’re both fine with most things. Nothing too BDSM-y or whatever but Y/N does tend to run more submissive.” You nodded, “Yeah, uh, I guess I like being told what to do, called names, stuff like that. My safeword is red just so you know, not that I think we’ll need it but, better safe than sorry.” Gwil nodded, “And,” his cheeks seemed a little more flushed than before, “this feels kinda weird to talk about but, how….uh, how involved do you want me to be?” “It’s your present Gwil, so as involved as you like.” Lucy seemed a lot more comfortable with the discussion, “ If you’d prefer to watch us that’s cool or if you wanted to fuck us both we’re into that too.” “Okay then, sounds good to me,” “Y/N, love, why don’t you go change into the thing you unwrapped this morning and wait for us in the bedroom. Got some other stuff I want to talk to Gwil about.” With a grin and a racing heart you scurried off to do just that, able to hear Gwil quietly asking what thing?

When you heard the doorknob turn you stood up, the soft material of the baby doll floating around the top of your thigh as you moved. “That’s pretty,” Gwilym said softly, stepping closer to you as Lucy followed him into the room and shut the door behind her, “suits you. Lucy’s got good taste.” “She told you she bought it for me?” “She told me a few interesting things. Like how you’re an impatient little brat who had to be put on denial to be taught a lesson.” Gone was the slightly uncomfortable Gwil from your discussion, now he was all confidence and control. It was a marked difference that made you clench your thighs together. “Oh, that,” “Yes, Gwil knows all about how I’ve been edging you for days now and how pathetically wet it’s made you. I also told him he now gets to choose if and when you cum today.” “What?” you were aghast. With Lucy you’d been maybe eighty-five percent sure she would be true to her word but with Gwil you had no idea what to expect. “That’s right. So you’re going to be a good girl for me, aren’t you?” “Yes,” you nodded emphatically to show how much you meant it making both Lucy and Gwilym laugh. “I told you she was desperate.” “Desperate enough to suck my cock?” Gwilym had spoken more to Lucy than you but you dropped to your knees all the same, beyond caring how eager you appeared or how much they’d mock you for it. “Christ,” Gwilym muttered under his breath and then, addressing you, “When was the last time you sucked dick?” “Umm, depends. I’ve sucked on Lucy’s strap a couple of times but the last time I did it with a real dick was before me and Luce got together, so over a year. But I got good feedback from him.” “You okay to do it now?” “Sure. Just like riding a bike….probably.” Gwilym laughed and waved his hand in a go on motion. From the corner of your eye you saw Lucy take a seat on the end of the bed, watching. You shuffled forwards on your knees until Gwilym was in easy reach, eyes trained on his belt as you undid it and then his zip. As you pushed his pants down his long legs, he pulled his sweater off over his head. “Thank god. Not sure I could have blown you properly while I was looking at Rudolf’s googly eyes.” “Sure you could have. Because if you don’t impress me you don’t cum. How’s that for incentive?” You almost whimpered as you pushed his underwear down, eyes going wide at what you were met with. He was bigger than you’d been expecting, certainly longer than you were used to. You started slow, grasping the base of his cock, and pumping your fist over him a few times before you began kitten licking around the head as you let instinct take over. You could feel your heart pounding against your chest, and took a deep breath, exhaling in a long stream, the air wafting over Gwilym’s cock. He hummed as you wrapped your lips around him, one hand dropping to rest on top of your head as you adjusted to the feeling. You began bobbing your head, slowly taking more of him in your mouth, stroking what you couldn’t reach. “Good girl,” he said, almost breathless, “look so good on your knees, eyes up.” You shifted your gaze to his face, and hollowed your cheeks, a soft groan his response. Being able to see and hear how much he was enjoying it made you feel bolder so you took him deeper still. You gagged. A string of saliva broke and dangled from your lip as you pulled back, gasping for air. “Sorry, you’re bigger than Lucy’s.” “Don’t apologise. I’m not expecting you to deepthroat me or anything like that.” “Am I doing good?” “Better than good, Y/N,” he groaned as you dragged your tongue down his length and then back up, sinking down onto him once more, “Feel incredible. And Lucy’s having fun too. She must like seeing you being a good little cock whore because she’s touching herself right now.” You whined around him and felt his hand tighten in your hair for a second. “She looks so hot like that. Pulled the top of her dress down so she can squeeze her tits, the skirt all bunched up around her waist. That’s it, just like that.” You tried to take him deeper again, squeezing your thumb in your fist and doing everything in your power to supress your gags. “Jesus, gonna make me cum so-“ he broke off with a gasp as you fondled his balls with your free hand, “oh fuck, soon, gonna cum soon.” Lucy moaned from where she was sat on the bed, as if to prove Gwilym had been speaking the truth about her. You squeezed your thighs together as best you could, needing any friction you could get as your own moan broke free. His fingers once again tightened in your hair, his hips bucking forward slightly with the stimulation, making you gag again. “Sorry, I’m-” he moaned as you picked up the pace, bobbing faster, “god, just like that. Y-you gonna be good and swal-low for me?” “You didn’t bother responding, just squeezed his balls a little as you sucked on his tip.” “Fuck, I’m cumming,” he groaned just before he released his load into your mouth. You kept sucking, making sure to get every drop before you let him go, sitting back on your heels as you caught your breath. “Show me,” You stuck out your tongue, earning his praise when he saw it was clean.

“What should we do with her next Luce?” Gwilym asked, towering over you. “Only seems fair that you get to watch her eat me out,” “That does sound fun. Alright, slut, up on the bed.” You hurried into place, kneeling before Lucy, waiting for her to lie back and get comfortable. She pulled you into a kiss for a moment, tongue sliding along your lip and then into your mouth. Gwilym quickly stepped out of his pants which had been pooled around his ankles and pulled off his shirt, settling himself at the end of the bed behind you. “Lie down,” Lucy said softly in your ear. It wasn’t what you expected but you were too far gone to argue. When you were settled Lucy quickly shimmied out of her dress and swung her leg over you, hovering over your mouth facing Gwilym. “Show us what a good slut you are, Y/N.” Your wrapped your hands around her thighs as she lowered herself onto your mouth, dragging your tongue along her pussy before latching onto her clit. For a moment they let you be, Lucy moaning as you slid your tongue into her entrance and she rocked her hips against you, but then you felt a light touch on your hips which made you squirm. Gwilym slowly dragged your underwear down your legs. “You weren’t joking about how wet she is, were you Luce,” he said, holding your underwear up so she could see the wet patch you’d left. The next thing you felt was his hands pushing your legs open and then his beard scratching against your skin as he lowered his lips to the inside of your thighs, sucking marks that made you whine. “Don’t cum,” he warned you before his mouth finally met your throbbing core. In that moment you were suddenly glad you had Lucy to focus on, sure you wouldn’t have lasted long without the distraction. Each time Gwilym made you moan Lucy was sure to moan too, grinding herself onto you with abandon. You let go of Lucy’s thigh, moving your fingers to her core, pumping them into her as best you could. “Wait Gwil, s-stop or she’ll go over,” Lucy said, tugging on his hair to pull him away from you. He retreated, once again giving his attention to your thighs as you whined in frustration. When you’d sufficiently calmed down Lucy gave the word, and he focused back in on your cunt, adding two of his long fingers to the mix. He avoided your clit for the most part, occasionally nudging it with his nose to keep you on your toes. You could feel Lucy’s legs beginning to tremble and tightened your grip, pulling your fingers free as you focused on her clit, her moans getting louder with each passing second. Gwilym left you again, shifting onto his knees as Lucy caught his attention. You could hear him talking to her softly, encouraging her to let go. She shuddered as she came, riding it out as Gwilym held her up. Finally she climbed off you, leaving you panting and squirming, trying to get Gwilym to finish you off.

“Don’t you look so pretty like this,” he said softly, stroking himself slowly, “you ready to be fucked, pretty girl?” “Please,” “Not yet. Don’t know if you’ve done enough to earn it yet.” “You could fuck me,” Lucy said, eyes glinting mischievously. “No, please, please, I need it. I need one of you to fuck me.” Both of them laughed as you sat up, still begging. “What if I fucked Lucy and made you watch and then we went and had lunch. What if we left you like this all day?” “That’s not fair,” you whined, “please, it’s Christmas, it’s a time for giving, please give me your cocks.” “Well,” Lucy said through a laugh, “can’t deny her logic. Alright, love, up on your hands and knees. Gwil’s gonna play with you while I get set up. The second you were in place Gwilym sunk three fingers into you, “There you go you needy slut, finally getting what you want.” He pushed his fingers into you a few time before he replaced them with his cock, making you mewl and fall forward on your arms. He held your hips tight as you adjusted to him but as soon as you indicated you were alright he began fucking into you, laying a few spanks to your arse just because he could. “You’re close already aren’t you?” “Yes, fuck, so close,” you whined, the days of denial catching up with you. “Cum for me then,” he dropped his fingers to your clit, which was all you needed to finally fall over the edge, crying out as you did. “God such a tight cunt,” he panted as you clenched around him. Yet he didn’t stop. Just held you tighter as he continued to pound you roughly. Barely recovered from your first, you could already feel the beginnings of a second orgasm starting to build in your gut. You gasped as another spank landed on you, surprised by it because Gwilym’s hands hadn’t moved. Lucy chuckled at your reaction and did it again. “Give me a go, Gwil,” His thrusts slowed and then he pulled out, shuffling to the side so Lucy could kneel behind you. “Turn over, love,” she said softly, tapping your thigh. You were happy to collapse on your back, sure your legs would have given out as soon as you came again. If you came again. God you hoped they’d let you cum again. Lucy leaned over to kiss you as she lined the dildo up and sank into you. “Good girl, taking both of us so well,” You whined at the change of position, Lucy leaning down to tug at your nipple with her teeth. Suddenly she let you go, gasping as Gwilym sank into her from behind. He paused for a moment, letting her adjust and then, when he was sure she was fine, he thrust harshly into her, pushing her deeper into you. There was nothing you could do but hold your legs up and moan, able to see Gwilym, holding Lucy’s hips and grunting as he ploughed into her. The sight only turned you on more, every one of his movements hitting you through Lucy, the feeling in your stomach only getting stronger. “Can I cum?” you panted, tugging on Lucy’s hair out of a need to do something with your hands. “Ho-hold it. Fuck Gwil just like that,” You whined, watching as Lucy’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. You used your grip on her hair to tilt her head, attaching your lips to her neck. “Yes, yes, yes, god don’t stop,” her eyes slipped shut. It didn’t take much more before she was moaning through her release, Gwilym grunting as he held back his own. As soon as he slipped out of her, he kneeled beside you. “Fuck her Luce.” His hand came down on her arse, jolting her into moving, “dirty slut wants to cum again.” “Please,” you whined as Lucy found her rhythm again. Gwilym snaked one hand between you and Lucy, rubbing your clit, “Cum for us Y/N,” You obeyed, thanking him through your moans. Lucy’s fingers were digging into your thighs as you rode out your orgasm, Gwil’s fingers still on your clit, until you became too sensitive and had to push him away. “Doesn’t she look so good right now Gwil?” Lucy asked as she carefully pulled out, “Leaking onto the sheets, face still covered in my cum. So fucking messy.” “Mmm, makes me wanna add to the mess.” Before you could register what he meant he was kneeling in front of your face, pulling your head up. Lucy moved behind you, holding you in place as he tapped his leaking tip onto your lips. You hummed as you were pushed down his length, Lucy controlling your pace, as you pressed your tongue to the underside of his cock, a few gags escaping, tears running down your cheeks. It didn’t take long, Gwilym’s groans getting longer as he got closer. He pushed you off him at the last moment, stroking himself until white ropes painted your tits. “Fuck you look like a such a mess,” “A hot mess though,” Lucy said, trailing her fingers through the splatters on your chest. She sucked them into her own mouth, swirling her tongue around her digits. When she was satisfied that they’d been thoroughly cleaned she leaned over you and kissed you again, a sticky white string connecting you when she pulled away. “Fuck,” Gwilym lay beside you, propping himself up on one elbow, eyes glued to your lips, the space Lucy had just inhabited, “Might be the best Christmas present I’ve ever got. Certainly the best I’m likely to get this year.” “Good,” Lucy said, standing and beginning to undo the strap around her waist, “I’m glad you liked it.” “Me too,” you smiled over at him, “It was fun.” “A lot of fun,” Lucy laughed, “Maybe we could be persuaded to give you another round later, after lunch. It is Christmas after all, and what’s Christmas if not a time to be generous?”

[lavishedinjimin]

a little bit of sugar, daddy [5]

↳ Pairing: taehyung x reader

↳ genre: smut

↳ rating: 18+   

↳ word count: 5.6k

↳ warnings: dom!tae, sugardaddy!tae, ceo!tae, SPANKING!!, dirty talk obv

— synopsis: Taehyung - a sugardaddy and a businessman, a man who derives his life from sex, pleasure, and money. Y/n - a girl working at a small cafe, whose sex life is as dry as the weekly delivered coffee beans. Will Y/n adjust to the new lifestyle she agreed to, and keep up with all of the dirty antics with Taehyung? 

Taehyung’s eyes widen for a quick moment, but he immediately replaces it with a simple smile. He walks over to you and makes a come here motion with his index finger. You gulped, your heart thumping against your chest as the feeling of suspicion fills your body. You made your way to him, his smile never fading. He holds your shoulders as he caresses them gently. He looks down at you, “Wait for me in the living room, Y/n. Okay?”

You furrow your brows as you shook your head side to side, being absolutely confused. “Why is she here?” You look over his shoulder to see Crissy standing there with her arms crossed in front of her, a sly smirk plastered on her face. There was something skeptical about this situation, and you weren’t feeling the atmosphere. It was like they were talking about you.

You were perplexed by Taehyung’s look, it seems like the situation was nothing for him. His smile went even bigger and without expecting it, he gives a quick peck on your lips. “Let me handle this, angel. Will you trust me?” His eyes burned deep into yours, and you couldn’t help but get lost in it. You clenched your jaw, finally nodding. “Okay,” he releases your shoulders, “Be a good girl and wait for me.”

You quickly scurried to his living room and sat on the L-shaped couch. You couldn’t help but get anxious, trying to figure out what they were talking about. Taehyung, in the meantime, turned back to Crissy who was holding back a laugh. Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Can you just get to your point. Why are you here?”

She chuckles, running her left hand through her blonde hair. “Jus’ wanted to see if you’re down with another girl,” she simply shrugs as she looks over to where you were sitting, playing with the hem of your shirt. “I mean, she seems so plain and boring, Tae.”

Taehyung senses his veins fill with rage as he tried his best not to lay a hand on her, “Absolutely not,” he spoke with a deep voice, enunciating every syllable carefully, “I’m not like you, Crissy. I don’t go around and find some random chicks I wanna fuck then throw them out the next day. What I did with you was the most regretful thing I’ve ever done.” He spat, his dark eyes bold with anger.

“Come on, you know my boyfriend knows nothing,” she says with a giggle, stepping closer to Taehyung. He steps back quickly, clenching his jaw as he stared down at her.

“I don’t lie, not unlike you.” He says within gritted teeth.

Crissy groans, the loud sound makes you turn your head to them. You frown when you still see Taehyung’s angered expression. What were they on about?

You saw how she steps a foot towards Taehyung, placing a hand on his chest. She leans forward and whispers something in his ear, her mouth curved in a smirk. Your eyes widen at the sight, jealousy arising your body. You gulp and immediately looked away.

Taehyung, on the other hand, quickly pushes her away, but not enough to make her stumble. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“God, Tae, you’ve become so boring now. You probably got that from Y/n. Don’t you wanna have fun and fuck two girls?” She bites her lip, but Taehyung just looks at her with utter disgust. He crosses his arms in front of his chest. 

“Y/n is not boring at all, Crissy. In fact, she’s the most interesting person I’ve ever met. You have no right to say that if you don’t know who she really is,” he bites the inside of his cheeks for a moment before continuing, “And no. Final answer. Now get out of my house.”

To Taehyung’s relief, she doesn’t say anything more than a blunt “Fine, whatever.” She sighs heavily, smiling up at his face. “Well, if you finally get your mind together and stop fucking that dull little bitch then you know where to find me,” she winks, and Taehyung couldn’t hold it in any longer. He roughly grabs her jaw, forcing her to look at him. Taehyung’s eyes were filled with fury, the veins in his neck protruding. 

“You don’t talk to my girl like that, you hear me? You watch who you’re talking to, Crissy, you don’t know what I can do.” He growls at her, but the smirk on her face never fades away. Taehyung figures out that she likes this, and that’s making him angrier. He bluntly pushes her away, “Get the fuck out.”

Crissy says nothing more and gives him an over-exaggerated wave. She opens the door behind her and walks out, slamming the door shut.

Taehyung calmed himself down, running a hand through his hair. “That bitch,” he mumbled, turning towards you who was already looking at him with wide and frightened eyes. Taehyung forces a small smile and walks over to you. His heart clenches when he sees your sad frown, and he quickly walks over to where you were sitting. He sits beside your body, pulling you close to him as he nuzzles his face on the crook of your neck.

“What was that about?” you murmured quietly, turning to face him. He examines your face for a moment, seeing the sadness in your eyes. Taehyung almost felt guilty that you had to see that, but he wanted to be as honest with you as possible. He lifts his right hand and gently cups your cheek, soothing your skin with his thumb. He grins lovingly at you and presses a kiss on your lips. It was long and tender, and you couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach as he did so.

“You know who she is, right? You’ve seen her a couple of times.”

You nod, “Mhmm.”

The first time you’ve seen Taehyung was when he was with her in the café. You boldly remember how he spanked her ass at that time, and you want to throw up from the thought. Taehyung seems to know what you were thinking when you lower your head down. He places a finger below your chin and makes you look back up at him. “I already cut our relationship at that time. We weren’t ‘together’, or whatever you call it.” He sighs, forcing himself to continue, “She just wanted to come back to me. She was obsessed and she can’t seem to move on.”

“You remember when I told you how she revealed our relationship to my employees?” You nod your head, listening carefully, “Well, that wasn’t the only reason why I cut it off with her.”

You cocked your head to the side, “It wasn’t?”

He sighs, “No. You know how I am, angel. You know that as my submissive, you’re mine and mine only,” Taehyung moves back to give you some space as he continues, “She apparently had a boyfriend while we were together. She kept it a secret and she lied. Later on, I found out that she was further sleeping with this thirty-year-old man.” You gasped at his sentence, not believing that that Crissy would do such things.

“By sleeping, you mean…”

“She had sex with him, angel,” he forced a little sympathetic smile. You frowned, upset, and furious that she would have the audacity to do that. “Obviously that didn’t settle well with me. I got so fucking angry. I was so hurt too.”

You snuggled closer to him, pressing your body on his as you hugged him. Taehyung chuckled from your actions and pulled you closer, giving a kiss on top of your head. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You don’t deserve it.”

He pulls your face close to his, his hands on each side of your face. “I want you to know that I don’t just do this for the sake of sex and pleasure, Y/n. Don’t think that I do. I want to help people, I want to provide them assistance for the things they can’t get on their own. I hope you understand that.”

You nodded instantly, “I know that, Taehyung. I know you’re not a bad guy, and I thank you for taking care of me.”

Taehyung looks at you sincerely, his eyes never wavered. He spoke in his strict and commanding tone, “I hope I can trust you as well, Y/n. Please, always be honest with me. Tell me whatever that’s going through your head and let me know. Whatever’s happening in your life or if you have some complaints or any second-thoughts, please don’t be afraid to tell me. I want to protect you and take care of you as much as I could. I don’t want you to be like her—”

“I’ll never be like her. Ever.” You stated truthfully. You weren’t a fan of lying to hurt people’s feelings. Especially with Taehyung – not with all the things he’s gone through. Taehyung nods, “Good.”

Taehyung was leaning forward to kiss you but he was interrupted when the doorbell rang, and you couldn’t help but anticipate that it was the pizza. All you wanted was pizza, not drama.

“I’ll get it,” he speaks as he stands up and walks over to the door. You clap your hands in excitement when he brings back a large box of pizza from Domino’s. “Here you go,” he places it on top of the coffee table, handing you a large cup of iced tea as he immediately sipped on his own. “I’m so fucking hungry,”

You laughed at his statement, agreeing, “When I went down from your room and I saw you talking to someone, I had a thought in the back of my mind that it was the pizza guy.”

Taehyung chuckles, pressing a wet kiss on your lips from the iced tea, “Domino’s delivery isn’t that fast in our place, baby girl.”

~

It’s now been two weeks since you first met Taehyung. Thankfully, he lets you focus on your studies and disregarded the obvious lust for you from time to time. It’s been a while since he last touched you, and he was aching to do it again, but the two of you were so busy with your own places of work.

Taehyung would often space out in the middle of his board meetings as he fantasizes about you. His eyebrows would furrow as he would think about undressing you, removing your such conservative clothes, bending you over his desk, and exposing your bare ass to him. He was definitely an ass type of guy, and he would love to spank your soft and cute flesh until it was red with his handprint. He’s already imagining it – how you would struggle to sit down from the pain that all the spanking, reminding you who you belong to.

“Mr. Kim,” one of his employees said, trying to get his attention. Taehyung looks up and notices everyone looking at him. 

He smirks as he plays with his bottom lip, “I’m sorry, you were saying?” He would feel his dress pants getting tighter and more uncomfortable as the time passes by. He tried his best to look like he was listening to whatever shit they were talking about (that he already heard hundreds of times), but all he could ever think of was you. Taehyung takes a deep sigh as he readjusted himself. 

‘Oh, Y/n. Wait until I see you.’

~

“I really don’t understand why you need to bring me to your workplace, Taehyung.” You meekly said as you pulled down your denim shorts that were riding up your thighs as you walked. Taehyung had requested to invite you to his company building for moral support, which you thought was ridiculous. He chuckles as he wraps a protective arm around your waist, walking through the main lobby. You looked around you and noticed that several people were giving you looks, glares, as for why you were that close with their boss.

“People are looking—” you said as you tried to remove his arm, but he was stronger and didn’t let you.

“Let them see.”

The heels of his shoes made little clicking noises as the two of you made your way to the elevator. You insisted to pull away with a stronger force but he made a loud ‘tsk’ sound, “Uh-uh, baby doll. Remember what will happen if you disobey me.” He leans down and says right above your ear, making you shiver. You finally back down, letting him grip your waist a little stronger. As you approached the elevator, you thanked god that there was no one inside. Taehyung immediately pressed the close button so that no one could come inside and invade both of your privacy. Your eyes immediately expand when you saw him press the twentieth floor. 

“You, that’s so…your office is on the twentieth floor?” You said in disbelief. There’s no way that his office was that high up. He nods with a sly smirk, “Mhmm, we’re gonna be here for a long time.”

Shit.

You couldn’t help but feel a little bit insecure when you noticed that the doors were reflective, and you can see both of your reflections. You scoffed at your outfit choice; black denim shorts with a white button-up tucked in on the front, paired with a white two-inched blockheels sandals and your hair in a top bun. Taehyung, on the other hand, looked stunning as usual. He wore a gray suit with a white dress shirt underneath and his black oxford shoes, his black hair neatly parted in the middle. The sight in front of you made you blush – the way how he had his arms around your waist as he pulled your close, indicating that you were his. His property.

Taehyung noticed how you stared profoundly at his appearance in the mirror, poking his tongue inside his cheek when he sees you blushing. His hand teasingly strokes your body up and down gently, the feeling of his big hand against your figure made you shudder. You look at him through the mirror and you immediately land on his eyes that were already fixated on yours.

“You okay there, angel?” he asks with a smirk, knowing exactly what he does to you. You nod at him, forcing out a smile. “Yep.”

“I really like what you’re wearing, Y/n. You look so beautiful.”

You chuckle as you lower your head for a second, “You say that all the time.”

Taehyung suddenly pushes your body against a corner, his body completely towering over you. He traps you with his arms as he leaned his head down to your level, close to your ears as he whispers, “And all the time I mean in, Y/n. I’m so lucky that I’ve got to have you, baby. So lucky that I get to meet such a beautiful and amazing girl. Only for me,” he growled, his deep voice electrifying your skin. He actually spoke with such sincerity that you believed him. You always did. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride when he said those words to you.

You felt his hand crawl up your body, up to your cheek as he stroked your soft skin, “Mine to touch,” He swiftly gives you a chaste kiss on the lips, a shade of red forming your cheeks from his sudden action, “Mine to kiss,” And in a quick motion, his hand flies down to your crotch, pressing against it causing you to gasp, “Mine to fuck,” he muttered in a deep and raspy voice. You couldn’t help but release a little a whimper from his little unexpected act. “I swear to god, Y/n, if there were no cameras in here I would’ve fucked that tight little pussy of yours with my fingers.”

Your eyes enlarge in shock when he says those words, both from excitement and fear, “There’s…there’s cameras? What if someone—”

“Don’t worry, angel. This footage will only be seen by one of my good old pals that I trust a lot, it’s nothing to be worried about,” he smiled down at you. “And besides, wouldn’t it be fun to give him a little show, hmm? Let him see how pretty my angel looks when she’s all fucked out, huh?”

You gulp, his eyes suddenly getting darker and you know what that means. “I-I…”

Suddenly, the door opens on the seventeenth floor and the two of you instantly separates. You quickly fix your clothes as you saw a woman entering, giving you a weird look before greeting Taehyung, “Mr. Kim.” Taehyung nods his head once, “Ms. Gayle. Have you heard from their head chief yet?” He asks with a strict tone, and you quickly remembered that he owns this place – quite literally. This was his building. It quickly daunted you that he was in such a high position of power, and he can literally do anything he wants. The feeling made you feel small because you were really a nobody.

“Yes, Mr. Kim. You’re set to meet with him very soon. They’re on the road.”

Taehyung smiles at her, “Good.” He looked at the reflective glass in front of him and fixed his suit jacket, glancing towards you for a split second. You were a bit over two feet away from him, your hands behind your back as you waited diligently. He smirked, loving how adorable you are.

“Let him know to meet me at my office.”

The door opens on the nineteenth floor, and the woman leaves with a goodbye. Taehyung takes the chance to pull you back close to him, “You’re very cute,” he whispers in your ear. You roll your eyes playfully as a scoff escape your lips, “Thanks for letting me know.”

Both of you finally exit the elevator and he leads you to his office. Once you step in, you couldn’t comprehend how extremely polished and expensive it looked. The color scheme was exactly like his house, whites, grays, and blacks. You noticed that there were some gold accents here and there and a lot of paintings. “It looks like your house.”

He snorts behind you, “It is technically my house.”

“You’re gonna hate what my apartment looks like,” you stated as you walked over to a black shelf that holds many trophies and certificates, inspecting them. Taehyung tilts his head to the side slightly, folding his arms across his chest as he made his way to you, standing behind you. “You think? What does it look like?”

You turn around to face him with a sly grin on your face, “First of all my place is way more colorful than yours. I have a nude pink room plus I have a yellow fridge.”

“Are you serious?” he laughs, his eyes turning to slight crescents. “Hey! Don’t laugh at that!” you giggled and stepped away from him, “my uncle bought it for me as a housewarming present.”

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and the sound echoes around the room. “I’ll get it!” you spoke as you rushed toward the door without rethinking. 

Taehyung tries to stop you, “Y/n—!”

Your mouth slightly parts when you were faced with a tall and well-built man who was wearing a clean, black suit. He, too, was a little bit shocked to see you open the door, for he didn’t know who you were. “O-oh, sorry.” 

The man in front of you gives you a smile, and you couldn’t avoid peering at his slight dimples as he did so. “No, no, it’s alright.”

You abruptly hear Taehyung cough behind you, signaling that he was still in their presence. You turn around and saw him look at you with somber eyes, a single eyebrow lifted up. You instantly step away from the man and let them have some space.

Taehyung walks over to the man and gives him an award-winning grin, “Jungkook.”

“Mr. Kim, long time no see,” they both went in for a handshake then followed by a hug with the other hand – you didn’t know what’s it called but men always did it. Taehyung chuckles at him, “You know you can call me by my first name.”

“I know, but I wanted to show a good impression with this lovely lady you have right here,” Jungkook suddenly turns to your direction, a smirk playing on his face. Taehyung felt a fire in his stomach when he heard him say that, but he had his control. You struggled to find the right words but Taehyung thankfully saves you. “Jungkook, this is Y/n.” 

Jungkook gives you a polite smile, “Nice to meet you, Y/n.” Were you supposed to give him a handshake as well? You turn to look at Taehyung with a slight panic in your eyes. He was clenching his jaw as he looked at you intently.

Was that supposed to be a no?

You gave Jungkook an awkward smile back and a simple ‘hi’, making him smirk and attend his attention back to Taehyung.

Little did you know that Taehyung was clenching his jaw as he observed your every move. He knew what was going through your mind, and he saw how you kept playing with your fingers as a sign of nervousness. He already knows all of your little mannerisms that you don’t even notice doing.

Jungkook made his way to sit on a chair across from Taehyung’s. He releases a little moan once he got to sit down, “God, Taehyung. Why do you need to have your office on the twentieth floor.”

Taehyung didn’t say a word to Jungkook but he quickly made his way over to you and muttered something in your ear, “Behave.”

Your eyes widen for a split second but you nodded instantly. He suddenly grabs your wrist and drags you back to his table, not knowing what he’s about to do with you. You furrow your eyebrows when he has sat on his chair and pats his lap. Unbelievable.

Jungkook knows what was going on. He smirks in his seat as he looks at your confused state, his elbow resting on the table as he played with his bottom lip.

He was a fellow CEO of his own architectural business, JJK Architecture and Design, and was actually Taehyung’s colleague. They helped each other in achieving their dreams, and luck was completely on their side. There was never a competition between both of them, and frankly enough, today they needed to talk about a partnership for a project together.

But you were flustered as fuck. You’re not going to sit on his lap in front of another superior! Taehyung’s eyes told another story, though. He was testing the waters, finding out if you’re going to obey him. The thought was just so ridiculous for you, but you really didn’t want to disappoint him. What will Jungkook think? The idea wasn’t professional at all.

“It’s okay, Y/n. Don’t be uncomfortable.” Jungkook reassured you, smirking at Taehyung, “It’s not new to me.”

Oh.

You tried your best not to overthink his words. Taehyung abruptly pulled you down and forced you to sit across his lap, your legs dangling on the side of his right thigh. Taehyung laughed quietly as he heard you hitch your breath up, his left hand caressing your back to calm you down. “It’s okay, angel.” You couldn’t believe how Taehyung was so comfortable around Jungkook like he wasn’t even there.

“Anyway, back to business,” Taehyung spoke, his demeanor suddenly changing.

“Your girl?” Jungkook abruptly asked as he nods his head towards you, making you gulp.

“Yes, she’s very special.”

The two of them were like brothers. Jungkook was not that different to him, he also had a lot of flings with women but without all that ‘dom and sub contract’ thing and without mentions of money getting involved. It was all sort of like one night stands. Jungkook doesn’t know that Taehyung does this whole ‘sugar-daddy’ thing though, Taehyung thought he’d just keep that to himself.

The whole time you sat idly on Taehyung’s lap was the most unusual thing that had happened to you this week. You didn’t understand a single word they said, and you found yourself constantly shifting on his lap. There were times that you forced yourself not to move when you figured out their conversation was getting more serious, and you didn’t want to be a distraction. However, there were also moments where it was getting a little bit awkward, and you found yourself readjusting your way of sitting on his lap. Taehyung, on the other hand, couldn’t focus half of the time from the way your thighs were brushing against his crotch. He tried his best to focus on their important meeting but you just keep moving. His hand would squeeze your thigh, giving you a warning. 

“Don’t fucking move,” he mutters in your ear with a raspy voice. 

The time has gone by and they were finally wrapping everything up after many note-taking and keyboard clicks later. “Okay, we’re done,” Taehyung smiles at Jungkook, “I hope t-th – shit.” He mutters the last part in particular when he feels you shift around him for the nth time, and he felt his cock growing harder underneath his pants. You looked at him with a confused and concerned expression, “Are you okay?” you whispered in his ear, but he ignored you as he clenched his jaw.

“I hope this project will be a success, Jeon. Looking forward to our next meeting, hopefully with some of your workforces and operatives as well.”

“Likewise.”

Taehyung stands up from his seat and you finally hop back down on the floor. Once he escorted Jungkook to the door, he bids his farewell. “Y/n,” he calls your name out, whipping your head at him with your brows raised up, “Yes?”

He chuckles, a bunny-like smile forming his lips, “I’ll see you soon.”

Taehyung pushes him outside his office urgently, not even letting you reply. When the door was shut, he locked it in an instant and made big strides over to your figure.

He firmly grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him, “Do you even know what you’re doing?”

“What?” You replied in such bewilderment that almost had you in guilt. Did you do something that made him upset?

“Didn’t I tell you not to move? Huh?” Oh, that. Your mind fumbled with words to reply with but nothing came out. Taehyung scoffs, looking away for a moment in disbelief. “You didn’t follow my words, sweetheart,” he growls lowly, and the tone of his voice turned you on, “look what you did to me.” He suddenly grabs your hand and runs your palm down his clothed stomach, teasingly slow until it reached his hardened dick. You gasp at the feeling, suddenly remembering how big it was. Taehyung bites his lip as he slightly grinds his cock on your palm, humping your small hand. You whined from the dirty scene in front of you, your mind telling you to pull your hand away but your body refused to.

“You made me so goddamn hard, angel. I couldn’t even focus.” He roughly pulls you towards his desk and forces your body to bend over the furniture, a yelp escaping your lips from his sudden roughness. Taehyung groans when he sees you bend over for him, his dirty fantasies of you finally coming to life. Your shorts rose up a bit and it exposed more of your skin, and he couldn’t help but lay his hands on your butt. He massaged the soft and plump skin, making you mewl. No one has ever touched you like this before, and his big hands touching you like that made you horny.

Taehyung leans himself down behind you and you can feel his bulge against your core. His mouth nibbled on your ear, causing a quiet moan to escape your lips. “You disobeyed me, baby girl. Did you purposely do that to get punished, hmm?” His monotone voice sent goosebumps to erupt from your skin as you instinctively jerked your body back, trying to feel more of him. Taehyung grunts as he smacks your right butt cheek hard. You shrieked from the feeling, closing your eyes from the combination of pain and pleasure.

“Are you trying to test me, baby?” he chuckles, “do that one more time and I’m not going to hold myself back on you. What we did back in my bedroom was like nothing for me. You know I can fuck you much harder and rougher than that.”

Your little moan was cut off when he lands another smack on your clothed ass, “Now answer me, did you do that on purpose?”

“N-no. I was just trying to readjust myself,” another loud slap came in contact with your ass, even sharper than the previous ones. Your face was shaded in red and you knew your ass would be too. “Remind yourself who you’re talking to.”

“I’m sorry, s-sir.”

Taehyung steps back for a moment, feeling content at your state in front of him right now – his favorite girl bend over for him. His hands fly to the waistbands of your shorts, pulling them down. He immediately growls when he sees your wetness soaking through your grey panties, and your buttcheeks already painted in red. He caresses your behind gently, taking his time to feel your nice and full ass. He was biting his lip and his eyes were filled with lust. Even if you were bent over in front of him, he still thought that you looked so angelic. You still had that touch of innocence in every lewd thing that you do. You still exuded your pureness, and Taehyung would never think that he’d get turned on from the thought of that.

“You didn’t follow my simple rule, angel. And what was that rule?” he teased you by applying the slightest bit of pressure on your wet pussy, making you close your eyes tightly and whine.

“That I shouldn’t move, sir.” You spoke quietly, hiding your face on your forearms.

“That’s right. Thought you’d be a good girl and obey that easy command.” He spanks your ass again, and your eyes fly open from the stinging sensation it brought. “S-shit,” you whimpered, your pussy clenching around nothing. Taehyung loved how your body would slightly jerk forward, and how you would desperately try to find a place to grab onto. He has an idea and grabs your wrists in one hand and presses them on your lower back, resting your cheek on the hard table.

“You’re gonna take whatever I give you like the good little girl I know you are, understood, baby doll?” his raspy voice spoke and you tried to nod, “Y-yes, sir.” You were nervous, not going to lie. You didn’t know how long he would do it for, and you were so nervous that someone could hear outside the office. But you can feel how you were dripping wet underneath your panties, and it hasn’t even properly started yet.

“Good.”

Taehyung lifts up his hand and swiftly lands it on your ass, the loud sound resonating throughout the room. You bite your lip as you tried to prevent your loud moans from spilling out. You heard him scoff behind you, “Don’t fucking hide those moans, angel. You know how much it turns me on to hear you like that,” his hand lands another sharp slap, finally freeing your moans as you let go. Tears were already forming your eyes as you tugged on your arms, “S-sir, please,”

“Please, s-sir—aahh!” this particular spank was even harder and intense from the previous ones, and you can hear him groan behind you. Was he gaining pleasure from spanking you? Your eyes let the tears fall down as you sobbed. He didn’t give you any time to get yourself together and spanked your ass once more. “Does my little girl liked to be spanked, hmm? Makes you so wet and horny, huh?”

A moan escaped your lips from his dirty talk, feeling how he gave your hind a tight squeeze. “Yes, I d-do, sir,” you spoke breathily, sniffling.

“Look at that dripping wet cunt, babe. God, does your pussy belong to me, baby?” 

“Yes, yes, sir. I’m yours and yours only,” you mewled. It hurts, obviously, but there was a strange sensation of pleasure that you weren’t expecting. Taehyung hums in satisfaction. “I love your ass, angel. So fucking pretty. I’m saying this to you now, Y/n, you won’t be able to sit down after this.”

Taehyung finally lands his last spank, making your body jolt forward and shake from the immense feeling. “Aah, fuck! S-sir, please…”

He smirks down at you as he strokes your ass gently, feeling such satisfaction as he takes a good look at your red and bruised ass. He pulls your shorts back up and lifts you back upright. You turn to look at him with such confusion written on your face, “Y-you aren’t…you aren’t gonna—” you look down on his rock hard cock beneath his pants, wondering if he’s going to fuck you or not.

He chuckles at your words, fixing the stray hairs away from your face as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. You gulp when you felt his length pressing against your lower abdomen. His mouth was brushing against yours, teasing you, “This is your punishment, angel. You’re gonna be left in those wet soaking panties of yours until you get home and you’re not gonna touch yourself, understood?” He spoke with such sternness and a domineering attitude and you couldn’t help but obey instantly.

You weren’t planning to touch yourself anyway.

You only wanted him to do that to you.

[niniblack]

As yet untitled Star Wars once upon a time au...

Yes, you read that correctly. Sorry, if you’re waiting on the next chapter of the boyfriend experience. I’ve reverted back to high school and started writing Star Wars prequel time travel modern AUs instead. (The next chapter of TBE is in the works, it’s just angsty as hell so...)

I’m posting this to gauge some reaction because I don’t know many SW people and I haven’t written for this fandom since I was literally in high school, so I’m very rusty. James is Anakin, obv. It helps if you’re at least familiar with the concept of Once Upon a Time (wikipedia has all you need), but that’s really all you need to understand this.

- - -

James decided to treat himself to a glass, or perhaps two, of nice whiskey that evening. It was his birthday after all. They were meant to be special. Even if he’d spend the day working, and was now spending the night alone, for who even knew how many years in a row now.

He’d barely taken a sip when there was a knock on his door.

He hadn’t ordered anything and wasn’t expecting anyone, so was surprised when he opened the door to find a kid standing in the hallway – a mop of blond hair; jeans, a t-shirt with a cartoon on the front, and a nice looking jacket; clutching one strap of a backpack over his shoulder.

“Are you James Smith?” the boy asked.

“What are you selling?” James asked.

The boy frowned. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m Luke.” He waited a moment, looking up at James with wide blue eyes. “I’m your son.”

James wasn’t sure he’d ever been speechless before, but he felt it now. He tried to say something for what felt like a full minute before managing, “I don’t have a kid.”

“Yes, you do.”

James frantically tried to recall what he’d been doing… ten years ago? The kid looked around that age. He’d been 23 and… in the hospital, for six months out of that year. “I don’t think so.”

The boy – Luke – looked annoyed. He shoved past James, into the apartment, and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. “My mom’s name is Paige Nadler,” he said over his shoulder. “You probably don’t remember her though. Or don’t remember that name.”

Paige? James didn’t think he’d ever dated a Paige. “You got the wrong guy, kid,” he told him, letting the door fall shut and following Luke inside. “Where are your parents? How did you get here?”

“You’re my parent,” Luke said. He’d perched himself on one of the kitchen stools. “And I took the bus.”

“From where?”

Luke was spinning around on the stool, letting his backpack drop to the floor, as he surveyed the apartment. “You live by yourself?” he asked.

“Yes,” James said. “Look, you can’t just barge in here and claim I’m your father. I’m not. I’m gonna call someone to pick you up.”

“Not the cops!” Luke was suddenly frantic, jumping off the stool and running over to James’ side to reach for his phone. James held it up out of reach. “Please don’t! I just wanted to meet you!”

James frowned down at him. “I didn’t say I was calling the cops.” When Luke didn’t say anything, he asked, “What’s your mom’s number?”

Luke shook his head. “You can’t call her.”

“Why?”

“She doesn’t– She’s not–” Luke’s face twisted up, earnest. “You can’t call her.”

“I’m not who you think I am,” James told him, trying to say it gently. It probably didn’t come out that way, because Luke’s eyes were suddenly shiny with unshed tears, and unlike when people tried to use tears to get out of paying him, this time it made James feel awful. “I’m sorry, really. But I’m not your dad. It’s a pretty common name. And it’s a big city. You just got the wrong apartment. I’m sure you’ll find him at the next one.”

“How do you know I’m wrong though?” Luke demanded.

“I–” James paused. He… didn’t, actually. But surely he would know if he had a kid out there. The mother would have told him about it, wouldn’t they?

Luke leapt upon that pause. “See! You don’t know for sure. You could be my dad.”

“If that’s the logic you’re using then the old guy at the end of the hall who smells like piss could be your dad.”

“But we look alike,” Luke argued.

And he did have him there, James had to admit. They had similar coloring, and the same cleft chin. Luke was looking up at him hopefully now, and James sighed. “Lots of guys out there with blue eyes and a dimple.”

Luke sighed too, shoulders slumping.

“Where do you live?” James asked. “I’ll take you home myself instead of calling anyone, okay?” He kind of wanted to meet the kid’s mom, just to see if he did recognize the woman. Unlikely, but worth a shot.

Luke hesitated, but said, “Nuevo Esperanza, New Mexico.

James stared at him. “You took a bus here. From New Mexico.”

“I looked up how much Uber was but it was really expensive,” Luke offered, as if that was a good explanation.

- - -

The gps calculated the drive back to Luke’s hometown in New Mexico at nine hours and thirty-five minutes, and that was with no stops. Which should have been when James saw sense and called the cops to come get this wayward child and deal with him, rather than continuing to handle it himself.

But then he thought of the panicked way Luke had begged him not to. And, honestly, James had no desire to talk to police in even the best of circumstances. Luke still staunchly refused to give up his mother’s phone number, insisting that she couldn’t be contacted. So, it looked like it was up to James to take the kid home. To fucking New Mexico.

James had to sleep before embarking on that, so he set Luke up on the couch with a pillow and sheet and spent the time before he fell asleep hoping the entire encounter had been a weird dream, and that when he woke up the kid who may or may not be his wouldn’t be in his living room anymore.

No such luck.

“Can we stop at Taco Bell?” Luke asked the next morning, once they’d cleared town and gotten into Arizona.

“Do you see a Taco Bell?” James gestured with one hand to the barren desert scrub around them.

“I mean, at the next town.”

“The next town is not going to have a Taco Bell.”

Luke was quiet for half a mile. “McDonalds?”

They were about an hour into New Mexico when Luke asked to stop for probably the third time. There wasn’t a rest stop for miles, and when James suggested just pulling over to the side of the road Luke had turned to look at him with an expression of utter horror on his face. So James found himself driving twenty over and passing trucks with barely enough clearance to get them to the next rest stop before the kid burst. Luke took off running before the car had even come to a full stop.

James twisted his head to the side, trying to crack his neck. And realized that Luke had left his backpack behind. It was the first time he’d seen him let go of it since he’d arrived last night.

He was intending to look for Luke’s phone, and hopefully find it easy to unlock with a contact labeled Mom in plain sight, so he could finally call the woman and confirm that he wasn’t being led on a wild goose chase. It didn’t feel like Luke was lying, but as much as the kid talked he managed to not say anything substantial, and James usually had a good sense for these things. Something was up, beyond whatever had made the kid take a two day bus trip to track him down.

The phone was not easy to unlock. Luke had face I.D. and his passcode wasn’t any of the obvious ones James tried before nearly getting locked out. He dropped the phone back in the bag, and dug around for what else Luke had with him. A spare set of clothes – not that he’d changed into them this morning – a battery and charging cable for the phone, and something hard wrapped inside a t-shirt at the bottom of the bag.

James pulled it out. It was some kind of silver, cylindrical toy, though he had no idea what it was supposed to do.

“What are you doing?” Luke demanded, voice high. He’d left the passenger door hanging open in his mad dash for the rest stop, and was staring at the contents of his bag spread out across the seat in horror.

“Going through your stuff.”

Luke was stunned into silence by the honesty.

“What’s this?” James asked, waving the toy in the air.

“Careful!” Luke reached for it.

James handed it over. “What is it?” he asked again.

Luke bit his lip. “It’s a lightsaber,” he said, emphasizing the word. He was watching James closely, waiting for god only knew what.

“Is that from Star Trek?” James asked.

Luke’s mouth fell open. “What? No!”

James raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s–” Luke seemed at a loss for words, knuckles white around the lightsaber. “It’s yours.” He said, holding it back out.

James shook his head. “I don’t want your toy, kid.”

“It’s not a toy,” Luke argued. “And it’s yours. Look.” He changed his grip, holding it with two hands, and did something that made a bright blue-white beam of light spring forth from one end. The air was suddenly filled with a buzzing noise, like an electric grid. It grated against James’ senses like nails on a chalkboard.

He clambered out of the car, staring across the roof of it at Luke. “What is that thing?”

Luke’s mouth was set in a stubborn line. “Your lightsaber.”

“It’s a toy.”

Luke glanced around, then took a few steps toward the handicapped parking sign near them and raised the… James wanted to say blade, for some reason, but it wasn’t a blade. It was a child’s toy. An overpowered glow-rod.

It sliced through the metal sign in a clean sweep.

James blinked at it. Blinked again, forcefully. The sign was still sliced in half, and smoking slightly. He stepped toward it. The metal looked melted along the edge.

“What the fuck is that thing?” he demanded.

“I told you,” Luke said. “It’s a lightsaber. It was yours. You just don’t remember.”

“I’d remember if I owned a movie prop that expensive,” James said.

“No,” Luke insisted. “It’s your lightsaber. Your name isn’t James, it’s Anakin. Anakin Skywalker. And you’re my dad.”

James stared at him for a long minute. This was… worse than he’d thought. “That’s just a movie, Luke.” Was the kid’s name even Luke, or had he pulled that from the movie too? James hadn’t actually seen Star Wars, but Luke Skywalker and lightsabers managed to bleed into the general pop culture well enough.

“It’s real,” Luke insisted. “This is real.” He waved the lightsaber, and the blue light made a swish through the air with a swooping sound, the color blurring.

“And you think that I’m… Anakin,” James said.

Luke nodded.

“And your mom?”

“Her name is really Padmé,” Luke said. “She doesn’t remember either. No one does.”

James wasn’t even sure what to say to that. Luke was starting to sound delusional. He was saved coming up with something as Luke launched further into his explanation:

“It’s the whole town,” Luke said. “Time is frozen. No one ever ages or leaves or anything. The Emperor used the Force or something and sent them all here and now everyone is trapped and can’t remember who they used to be.”

“The Emperor used the Force to trap a bunch of Star Wars characters in a town in New Mexico where no one ever ages and they can’t remember being Star Wars characters?” James asked, trying to wrap his head around Luke’s delusion.

“Yes!” Luke said, looking excited for the first time in this conversation. “Well, except for me and Leia. We age. But I think that’s because we were born here.”

“Leia?”

“My sister.”

“Oh, right.” James nodded. “That’s, uh…”

Luke’s face fell, and he turned off the lightsaber, holding it loosely in one hand. “You don’t believe me.”

“I didn’t say that,” James said.

Luke shook his head, staring at a point on the ground between them. “You didn’t have to. No one believes me.”

James felt too tall all of a sudden, standing over him. He crouched down, trying to catch Luke’s gaze. “Hey. I’m taking you home, aren’t I? I’ll talk to your mom and we’ll figure this out, okay?”

Luke scoffed, but didn’t look up.

James tried a different tack. “It is a cool lightsaber.” 

That got him watery blue eyes peering at him from under the too-long bangs.

“Let’s get going again and you can tell me how it works.”

James stood up, and placed a hand on Luke’s shoulder to turn him back towards the car. “Come on. Faster we get going the faster you can ask me to stop for more junk food.”

Luke laughed, a little. “We still haven’t found a Taco Bell.”

“Fine, next Taco Bell it is then.”

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 44

Spoilers, obv.

I'm aware that this is either going to be a relatively short one or an epic one. The risk of the latter is that rather than just talking about the issue, for the first time I'm free to talk about the series as a whole, and so talk about some of those other choices. There'll be some of that, but it would warp the nature of the notes, and give some false perspective. I can talk about it being over now, sure, but talking about it all means I'm not talking about this element. Not least because I can't talk about it all – there's still the question of issue 45.

But still. There's a lot to talk about, and a lot of hard things in here to do. We knew where we going, but the devil is in the details. The devil's everywhere.

Jamie/Matt's Cover

Minerva finally gets her head-shot. I was a little worried that people would realise exactly what was happening to Minerva here, but I didn't see anyone realise she's falling, and speculate why. Of course, I knew what it was and couldn't not see it. That's how it works.

It's a striking last image though – this is an especially blank glance, in the middle of all the motion. Matt's pink/white nimbus is really powerful too.

Emma Rios/Miquel Muerto

Emma's one of our favourite artists, and we were so glad that we managed to get her before the end. Emma's always someone who gets this evocative drama of it all – this is obviously a momentous cover, but you don't know the moment until reading. Laura and Lucifer being a core relationship, and the hint of leaving. Miquel does strong, atmospheric things with the colours as well. It's a great cover to end the story on. On - Pretty Deadly is back on the same day as 45, and I can't wait. Gets!

IFC

In terms of minor things we did which have a big emotional effect, changing the gods' names to their human names was certainly one. It sits there and stings.

Page 1

This issue is particularly tightly wound, so we set the clock on the issue in this one page.

I had a couple of people wonder where the cops came from. I presume it's because the delay in publication – the "we have to go now because of woden's tape has revealed we're almost all complicit" is the only reason why they went for Minerva immediately.

For a page that's so tightly wound, Jamie does some great establishing here. Opening panel with the fire in top of Valhalla, to link to last issue. A shot with all these people in it – a character beat, and three extremely dialogue low panels.

Page 2

Riff on Better The Devil You Know.

The weird rhythm in WicDiv is the arcs-which-take-place-in-a-very-short-time and arcs-which-take-place-over-months.  Faust act, Rising Action, Imperial Phase II, "Okay" are the over-a-short time. Fandemonium, Commercial Suicide, Imperial Phase I and Mothering Invention are the extended ones. The closest to one which does both is Faust Act, which spreads its action over a week or two.

Page 3

Lovely stuff in here with Jamie, in terms of character work – obviously this is Lucifer hamming it up, but seeing individual responses around the room is a hell of a thing. Minerva's a total mess here.

Valentine giving up clever insults at this point is probably a thing.

Page 4-5 "Bothersome" is a very Lucifer word. The expression in panel 2 is also key Lucifer – that eye-roll of it.

Laura's captions also arrive mid way through – key, as they're clearly going to be key. I was thinking of having them at the start of page 3 as well, but we can let us live in the moment.

Laura's performance tentacles is a lovely panel – seeing how Matt works the colours on the space. The blues fading to white, the reds. Honestly, this is making me miss working with Matt already, and seeing how good he and Jamie are together.

Callbacks here to Lucifer in the first arc – the cycle of it all.

"There were two girls in hell" makes me well up. |It's one of my favourite Jamie expressions in the issue.

Page 6-7

When planning the larger structure of WicDiv, I was aware that I made certain calls in hope I would be able to save people. The early "death" of the Heads was actually a way to protect them. I was aware that characters who were in play were far more likely to die, as they had more chances to do so. I knew I could likely save the heads, so by making them heads, I made it more likely.

I originally planned for Dionysus to die, but I couldn't bear it. His hubris was real, but the idea that someone could give so much without anyone really caring or doing something for him was too heart breaking, even for me. I realised during Rising Action that I could actually save him – the pieces were already in play, and I just had to lean into those relationships to lead to Baph's choices. At the start, I wasn't sure where Baphomet ended in year 4 – part of me thought he'd survive, as I didn't have that final beat for him at the start. That I didn't have a hard end for Baphomet always made him open to the story finding another purpose for him – which is an end which I can't imagine any other way now. WicDiv is an awful necessary machine.

That applied to Lucifer too. She was a darling, obviously, but she was always going to be trouble. Part of me was aware that she could come back and almost immediately get killed again. I'd like her to make it out, but it was possible she wouldn't.

So, as I said last time, when I realised she was the final opposition I was pleased – that was perfect to the themes and the structure.

I wrote in my synopsis that Laura uses a performance to touch Lucifer and convince her into renouncing her godhood, and left it at that.

There it sat until I came to script it.

Because, in all honesty, I had no idea how Laura was going to convince Lucifer to give up her godhood. I just trusted that there would be some way Laura could reach her. Or, really, I hoped there was – because I knew if I wrote something that didn't feel convincing to me, I wouldn't do the scene. Lucifer would have died instead.

So, the day came when I was scripting this sequence, and I started writing, and wondered what the performance would be, and I just wrote "Laura descends the Ananke head sequence and drags Luci back."

Then I leaned back, a little shocked, because that was clearly right, and so clearly fit with what the series does – a final deconstruction of one of our core visual icons, giving a new way to look at the sequence and think about it. It was just there. As if it was there all along. Or just the sort of thought that emerges when you've been obsessed over this fucking thing for five years.

I'm aware of the weird resonance as well – Laura's finding a performance to save a friend is me finding a performance to save a character. WicDiv was a weird book.

Jamie and Matt go to town, of course – the melting faces are just painful, and wonderfully done. The fleshy reds, the fires. How Clayton uses the captions across the page to play with pacing...

I originally suggested we do it completely as the WicDiv spread, with Laura crawling across the centre spread and making her way up – that it would be treating what is meant to be two columns as a space was decided to be too much, so instead we went with flipping to a subjective perspective on a space that we've only experienced from a single objective outside viewpoint. That's got magic too.

Page 8

A long time to get to this kiss, right?

We moved the dialogue around a little to nail some moments – we had the magic effect on the final panel so the transition to the next page wasn't too much.

The annoyance of Eleanor in the last panel is just my everything. I described it to Jamie by using a metaphor of me in my early thirties, having split up with an Ex, and torn between various places, including seriously wondering whether, after everything, the simple answer to my sexuality stuff was that I was just gay. How annoyed I would have been, after all those years, if it was that. Just a "Oh, FFS. I'm just gay! Why didn't I get that earlier? Why have I wasted all this time? What a fucking fool I am."

That.

Page 9

Repeat of core WicDivian imagery, turned to a different purpose. After these magificent godly reveals, we do this very normal world.

Yeah. This would have been a happy place to end the series.

Page 10

Laura wants to be better, of course. It's easy to say you want to do better.

A+ Cassandra-ing in the background there.

Page 11

Now, Minerva is dead in a few pages time, and she is a genuine monster, trapped in a system of her own making. But I didn't want to send her into the void thinking she had that horror awaiting her. I can't forgive her, but I can give her a little peace.

Title drop, of course, with a wonderful expression by Jamie. There's a lot here.

Okay, let's do this.

"Okay" is a phrase that's haunted WicDiv. We've come back to it multiple times – it's a fascinating word in the English language, and has caused problems for people translating it, in the mixture of ambivalence and optimism in it is really tricky. Clearly, we use everything inside the word.

It wasn't my Dad's last words, but it's the last exchange I remember with him. Everyone else was out, and I was helping him back to his seat. He says to me.

"Son, I know this is strange, but I can't help but think it's going to be okay."

And I can almost imagine my eyes bulging out of my head, as I wanted to howl at him: no, Dad. It really fucking isn't.

This comes up almost verbatim in the first arc, with the exchange between Laura and Lucifer before she breaks out. The series is about many things, but my Father's death was the core inspiration for it, and that "It's going to be okay" haunted me and it.

I don't think this is what my Dad meant, clearly, but it's how I've ended up metabolising it. I've been signing "It's going to be okay" when I sign Faust Acts, partially as it's the WicDiv phrase, partially as a secret-promise-that-they-won't-all-die-and-there-is-hope and partially because "When death comes, it's okay" is that buried in it. If I had to boil the book down to a sentence, it'd be it. It means different things depending how you look at it. That's all I've got.

Page 12

I talk about Solving The Equation of the third year, and Dio being in play for this section is absolutely part of it.

That first panel. I said that the cast were all people I'd have killed to be at various stages of my life. Umar is someone I try to be now. I don't succeed, but he's a worthy goal. Kind is not soft and all that.

While the silent panel is something you've all seen before, it's worth highlighting how good Jamie is. The favourite gesture of the scene is the eyes upwards of Cassandra – I don’t remember Jamie using this angle before, and it's really striking. I suddenly miss that I won't be working with Jamie again for a while. Have fun, Jamie. You were the best.

And now, this.

Page 13-14-15

"It would take a real monster to kill a kid" is one of those lines that have been sitting in the files since the beginning.

There was a fan artist in the WicDiv community early on who kept on doing these totally charming portraits of Baal and Minerva playing around in a big brother and little sister way. Every time I saw them, I felt both love for the art, and a sadness. "In four years time, you are going to have a terrible day."

That's one of the weirdest things of the last four years – that. Knowing that stuff is out there.

Looking at this at a little distance, I see the elements in – the standing on the edge, the "Please Don't" and all that. I sigh. This is awful and upsetting and that page turn is one of the hardest in the series. I wish Valentine would forgive himself, but he couldn't.

This is the sort of thing I want to write a lot about, and want to write nothing. I think I'll keep it as just the facts, in terms of trying to plot this.

Occasionally you get to a knot – I knew Valentine had to kill Minerva, that Valentine couldn't bear to live after that was done and that Minerva had to die after Baal gave up his powers. How to you put those three together, without introducing something else.

C asked "Where does it happen? Could it happen somewhere high?" and the rest was there. Falling being the repeating WicDiv image as well.

I think I pictures this actually side on, without the drop. Jamie's choice is better, just because of the eyes.

The three panels is something we're returned too, but choosing the distance was key. You know it's there, but I didn't want to revel in the dead bodies. This is a different kind of death to many of the ones in the book, and has to be treated as such. Any more blood than shows they're dead would be obscene.

I sigh again. I note that Matt does the lights on the guns perfectly, but I want to highlight craft. The shot of eveyrone waiting is a huge thing – Inanna's grief, Dio stepping in, and the crossed arms of Cassandra...

16

I think it was when I was plotting the second year at WicDiv that I realised that I couldn't see a way out of this which didn't involve the majority of the cast ending up in jail for a while. I was okay with that, as it made some sense. It's thematically resonant for a few ways – it's a choice which shows their acceptance of their acts, and their actual humanity as well as an understanding of their power, and lots more.

However, due to all the straight, white characters being dead, it does mean that a all-queer all-PoC-minus-Lucifer cast going to jail, in the current jail system. That said, while far from perfect, the UK is not the US. I don't think I could have written this ending in the US. Even in the UK, I safety-proof it conceptually as much as I can.

They are all queer, and almost all PoC... but they are also superhumans (and mostly rich.) They have a degree of power, and options which are not open to other people... and it is their one chance to try and navigate this space with no-one else (either them or other humans) getting killed. It's their last chance to act in good faith to the rest of the species.

I wouldn't trust the system if they were people without their resources. They're not. And this is the least-worst choice I can see.

I'm sure some of you will disagree with me on that.

17

More safety-proofing – Voluntuaryism is an anarchist idea. "The only true order is voluntary order" basically.

18-19-20

This is a lot of space for a sequence which is relatively minor dramatic weight, but as we segue towards the end, we want it to breathe a little. Plus there's the matter of the page turns – the previous interstitial was about pushing that as well, so both the "surrender" and Laura's final headshot are on a turn.

Matt's lighting in this sequence is wonderful – I said to Jamie that I was thinking of almost suggesting we're changing genre before Laura steps in. It's a "The special forces go after Batman" sort of sequence. I was thinking of the one from Batman: Year Zero, which is some top class special forces entering darkened environments.

Another moment of the weird-colouring-in-a-balloon, and the actually living in the moment.

Taking the guns is more safety-proofing, showing they are not acting in blind faith of the system. That Laura can take the guns also shows that Laura likely could walk out of prison any time she wants, and the rest will be able to do the same too.

(Not that the people in power know they don't presently have access to their big ones, of course.)

We originally has Cass shouting that final line, but had it much more matter of fact. This is kind of past shouting.

21-22

Yeah, this is calling back all manner of stuff. Back to the courtroom.

Jamie asked me a lot about the final expression, as is only right. This is a story where we've used head shots a lot, normally with pose. This is something else.

23

Worth noting that Laura couldn't be sentenced to life imprisonment. She's 18 so would be sentenced for "custody for life". Not that the story actually says what she's been sentenced to that either – we cut before the sentence is given. Don’t expect a firm answer to that in next issue either.

But they all have been sentenced to life, in the obvious metaphorical way. Laura has been depressed and self-destructive to the point of a death wish throughout. At the end, she's decided to try to live.

I count that as bitter sweet, and I count that as a win. I'm proud of her. I'm proud of them all.

I'm in tears now.

24-28

And we were when compiling the letters page. Thanks you lot.

29

Jamie and I both had really intense feelings about the final cover. It's clear why we've kept it secret (it gives away Laura survives) but to see this young woman we've been writing about older was incredibly moving.

Laura was 20 years younger than me at the start of WicDiv, and she's 20 years older than me at the end. Feeling suspended between the two poles, identically. The duality of it, one more time.

I love this cover so much, and I loved these characters, this book, you lot.

Thanks for reading.

[zanesgirlfriend]

Prom | Vlog Squad

Description: Blurbs of how each vs member would ask the reader to a charity 'influencers prom' (basically just promposals)

DISCLAIMER: I'm doing this as if everyone is single/likes girls. Like Mariah and Heath are obvs dating but they would both prompose so differently.

Requested by @character-development : inspired by David's new Prom ad thing, can u write how each member would ask the reader to prom (or a prom-like event) like cute prom-posal U R GOLD

Most of these are like cheesy prom poster things but it's still cute!

_____

BOYS

David: chipotle

You were going to prompose to David. He was too busy with other things to think of something fun and elaborate, but it was okay, you enjoyed the fun.

"Can you pick me up Chipotle?" He asked you on the phone, just as you knew he would. You happily obliged, already knowing he was gonna ask. You ordered the typical Dobrik Burrito and something for yourself before hopping back in your car. You took out your sharpie and wrote on the foil before putting his burrito back into the bag.

"Let's eat!" You hollered at him as you walked through the door. He smiled and joined you at the kitchen island. "This one's yours." You handed him the burrito upside down, so he wouldn't see the writing quite yet. Then you pulled out your food and the extra guac.

David smiled to himself as he read the foil.

Will you be my BAE-RITTO at prom?

It was the perfect amount of clever and stupid and he burst out into laughter.

"Fuck yeah!" He laughed at you before pulling out his phone to take a picture.

"What are you doing?" You asked between giggles. He started recording and pointed the phone toward you.

"Y/n just promposed to me. I'm her bae-ritto now!" He laughed as he posted the silly Instagram story.

-

Zane: drunk

You two had spent all night in his house. You had a Domino's feast and watched some movies as you got drunk together. Monopoly had become obsolete, long abandoned to play some simple card games instead. The two of you had crushed and entire case of beer and a bottle of whiskey, and you both felt like time was going in slow motion.

You didn't know when you two had gone to his room, but you didn't really care. You made jokes, talked about random shit, and cuddled for a while.

You felt each other drifting off, and right as you were falling asleep, Zane opened his mouth.

"Y/n?" He asked. You laid your head on his chest and tangled your legs with his.

"Yeah?" You whispered, a little too focused on his every move. All of his little mannerisms made you smile, and you didn't want to miss a single one.

"Will you go to prom with me?" His words were slurred, but you knew they were sincere. You also knew that he would never remember this, and probably try to ask you again in some big elaborate way.

"Why don't you ask me again in the morning?" You smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

-

Heath: golf

"Do you wanna come to the driving range with me?" Heath asked you during dinner, not wanting to go alone.

"I'm gonna suck, but sure!" You agreed. You spent the night together, putting on stupid golf outfits and driving out to the local driving range. You talked about anything and everything as you golfed.

You were horrible, as predicted, but he didn't really care. It was nice to just spend time with you.

"Are you going to that prom thing next month?" You asked him, genuinely curious. He hit another ball before turning back to you.

"I wasn't going to, are you?" He asked in return. You shook your head no. "Why not?" He walked towards you and you got up to take your turn.

"I don't have anyone to go with." You sounded sad, hoping he would ask you as you gripped the golf club.

"Let's go together." Heath suggested. You smiled to yourself before hitting the ball.

"Okay."

-

Todd: song

Todd was annoying the fuck out of his piano teacher. Begging him to teach the skills to play a certain chord progression. He practiced it every day for a month before he finally felt confident enough to show you.

And it was impressive. You sat next to him on the bench, listening to the soft love song he played. He belted the bridge, or what you thought was the bridge until your name came up. It echoed through the room sounding beautiful.

"Y/n will you go to prom with me?" He repeated over and over, using the same melody as the original song. You sung along, harmonizing with him.

"Toddy will you go to prom with me?" You sang to the same tune, before both of you reached the end of the song

"Yes." You said in unison, now in a regular voice. You both laughed an smiled as you thought about what you'd just done.

"That was beautiful." You giggled to him.

"Not as beautiful as you." He said in a serious tone before kissing you on the cheek.

-

Scott: shelter

"Let's go the animal shelter." Scott suggested to you. You were elated at the thought, not even knowing what he had in store. He'd got a custom tag made and attached it to a small collar that he kept in his pocket.

You enjoyed the ride there, but were even happier once you arrived. There were a bunch of cute little puppies and you couldn't wait to pet all of them.

"Can we play with these ones?" Scott asked the lady that was guiding you through their pens. She smiled and nodded before scooping up an armfull of tiny dogs. She led you into a pen outside and released all the little puppies. They all had on tiny colorful collars to distinguish them. They ran around in the grass, jumping on your lap and giving you lots of kisses.

"I think one of their collars came off." Scott pointed to his special collar that he'd dropped on the grass behind you. You spun around and grabbed it before reading the tag.

Prom?

You looked up at Scott and smiled.

"There's no way one of them is named Prom? is there?" You were dumbfounded for a moment before figuring it out. "Oh my God I'm dumb." Realization hit your face. Scott laughed at your stupidity before asking you himself.

"Will you go to prom with me?" He chuckled.

"Yes." You said in a pouty way, embarrassed by your oversight.

-

Jeff: hike

"Nobody else will go with me." Jeff begged you. He wasn't necessarily lying, but it wasn't the full truth. He told everyone he wanted to hike alone today, just so he could convince you to come with him.

You agreed, knowing he would buy you lunch after and it would be nice quality time with him. The hike was fun. You raced a little bit, and talked about some vlog squad gossip that was going around. Then you made it to the top. Jeff helped you up to the very top of a rock and you two sat there, resting for a bit.

"Isn't this beautiful?" Jeff asked you as he looked out at the view.

"Amazing." You watched a bird fly over the city before glancing at Jeff. He was already looking at you.

"Do you wanna be my date to prom?" He nudged your shoulder lightly as his dimples appeared.

"Yes, I can't wait to see you in a tux." She joked before nudging him back.

-

Matt: escape room

You two were always doing escape rooms. But this one was your favorite. They'd just added a new room, and you were both ecstatic about it.

"I keep finding letters!" You hollered at Matt as you two felt around the room for clues.

"There's a board thing here, I think we have to put in a message." He pretended to speculate even though he already knew the answer. The hour ticked by fast, finding more and more letters and solving puzzles to find even more. You'd spent the last fifteen minutes trying to find some sort of hint to what the message should be about.

"Matt we only have two minutes left!" You screamed at him.

"I got it!" He ran over to the letters, rearranging them. You read each word until the sentence finally formed.

When we escape, will you go to prom with me?

You looked at him as if he was an idiot. "Matt this is not the time for games we only have a min-" Your voice ceased as a panel popped open in the wall. It had two buttons.

YES NO

"Matt what is going on?" You asked before glancing at the clock again. thirty seconds.

"Quick, yes or no! Will you go to prom with me?!" He screamed at you, pointing towards the buttons.

"Yes!" You screamed as you hit the YES button. The timer stopped and the exit door opened.

"Yay!" Matt hopped up and down, but you stared at him.

"Matt." You said.

"Yeah?" He asked, already knowing your question.

"Was this all and elaborate way to ask me to prom?"

"Yep!"

-

GIRLS

Natalie: donuts

At first glance, people would think what Natalie did was basic or cheesy, but they don't know the whole story. She'd taken you out to a donut shop twice a week for the past month. It was like your special little thing together. It was almost like she was training you to love donuts, but that wasn't very hard.

By the time the day of the promposal came around, you were the one waking her up to go get donuts. You two crawled out of bed, still in pajamas as you drove to your favorite donut shop. It was early, the sun had barely risen, but the bakers were already preparing your special donuts.

You walked in the shop, hand in hand and sipped some coffee as you watched them fill the donut cases like you usually did.

"They're spelling out something." You told Natalie. She looked up from her phone, trying to act inconspicuous. You two watched carefully as they placed the donuts sporadically. They knew if they placed them in order you would figure it out immediately.

It started with a question mark at the bottom of the case, then a few vowels here and there, and slowly the message started to come together.

W I L L Y O U G O

T O P R O M

W I T H M E ?

You turned to Natalie, but she was already smiling at you.

"Will you?" She asked. You smiled and walked up to the counter. A worker smiled at you.

"Can you rearrange the letters to spell 'yes'?"

-

Mariah: tumble

Mariah rehearsed the dance number for two weeks, making sure everything was perfect. She had backup dancers and lights and costumes and everything. She told you to come watch the dress rehearsal for some dance recital she was in, and you happily agreed.

You sat in the nearly empty audience, so happy to see what she's been working on. Mariah never seemed to be nervous for past performances, but this one was different. She was jumping up and down, shaking her limbs out over and over, very nervous and excited to ask you to prom.

The lights dimmed and dancers adorned the stage, getting in position. The music started and you knew something was up. It was your favorite song. The dancers started their routine and you were amazed. It was beautiful. Mariah walked out of stage and joined the group, leading them in a floor-work section of mostly tumbling and gymnastics during the bridge of the song.

Just as the song came to a dramatic close, the lighting changed and a backdrop fell behind them.

Y/N, I'D FLIP IF YOU WOULD TUMBLE TO PROM WITH ME!

You started to cry before walking onstage.

"So?" She asked you, slightly out of breath. You smiled and hugged her sweaty body.

"Yes!"

-

Kristen: waddle

Kristen stayed up all night long making the poster. It was black and white with glitter writing and perfectly aligned letters. She knew you would find it cute and adorable. It wasn't until the next night that she finally slipped away from you long enough to do it.

Her nerves were exploding out of her chest as she got dressed. She could barely hold the poster up she was so nervous. Before she came down the hallway, she took a deep breath.

"Are you ready?" Kristen screamed down the hallway at you.

"Yes!" You hollered back, adjusting the camera. You thought you were just filming an outfit video. Your mouth hung open as she waddled around the corner. She was dressed in a penguin onesie and held a posterboard behind her back.

"Oh my God!" You giggled at her and she made a stupid face at you before flipping the sign around.

Will you make my day and WADDLE to prom with me?

There were cute drawings and stickers of penguins all over. The yellow trimmed black letters popped off of the board and a few flakes of glitter were strewn about. You smiled, tears filling your eyes as you walked over to her.

"Of course!" You embraced her and laughed as you messed with the little beak on her penguin onesie.

-

Carly: starbucks

You'd gotten coffee with Carly almost every day for a year. So of course she would have to include it in her promposal. She usually picked you up before starting the day, and you went to Starbucks together. Today she asked you to meet her there.

Immediately you were suspicious, but figured she was just out and about and didn't have time to come get you. You drove yourself to the usual location, and found a nice parking spot. You'd barely walked inside when you saw her.

She was standing with a big cardboard cutout of a starbucks drink in her hands. It was decorated with the words:

Prom is a GRANDE event. It would mean a LATTE if you went with me!

You were too excited to speak. You nodded your head yes before bringing her in for a hug. Green confetti fell around you and someone handed you your usual order.

-

Erin: scar

Another day, just hanging out with Erin on her couch. You two had just ordered food, and were in the middle of binge watching something on Netflix. Erin was excited, but tried as hard as possible to keep her cool.

"Oh! Remember when I got that cyst taken out?" She asked you between episodes.

"Yeah?" You nodded wondering what cool medical fact she was going to tell you.

"The scar doesn't look like a normal scar. Like, I swear it spells something out." She sat up. You became very interested.

"What? Let me see." You turned your whole body towards her, curious to see what she was talking about.

She lifted up her sweatshirt and there, on her scar, was the word Prom? written with a sharpie. She laughed a little too hard, and so did you.

"This is the dumbest promposal, but yes." You laughed between words, almost in tears.

"I know, but yay!" Erin opened her arms up for a hug which you gladly received.

-

Corinna: tiara

Her best friend helped her make the poster, but Corinna spent most of her time at Tiffany&Co. She spent a week finding a ring that you would love, and another week waiting for it to be engraved. Of course Corinna went all out for you, she always did.

It turned into a big elaborate plan that David filmed for the vlog. Another "lay down blindfolded" type of thing. You were scared shitless, having no idea what was about to unfold.

"Sit in this chair and wear this." David said to you, handing you a shirt to use as a blindfold. You reluctantly agreed and sat down.

"Is it gonna bite me?" You asked as your legs bounced up and down.

"Maybe!" He laughed, his voice getting distant as he walked to the other side of the room. You heard footsteps walk into the room and someone pulled your blindfold off.

Corinna was in front of you. She looked beautiful, and she was holding a big blue posterboard. It said Y/n&Co. across the top, and the question "You know what has a nice RING to it?" You cocked your head to the side, happy but confused. Was she proposing? or something else.

"What?" You asked, perplexed by the smile on her face. You then noticed the small box in her hand. She knelt down in front of you, opening the box towards you. Inside was a beautiful ring, white gold and shaped like a tiara. There were small diamonds adorning the design and you immediately wondered how much it cost.

"Pick it up." She demanded gently. You complied, picking up the beautiful ring. As you inspected it you noticed the engraving on the inside.

Prom?

_____

I hope yall enjoyed this!!! it was really fun to do :) also tell me which one was your favorite :)

[cntcrtainmcnt-blog]

Okay I got a bunch of new characters(someone stop me please!!!) so here are their intros! I would love to plot for them so please like that post or just come screaming at me!

BRYAN ACKERMAN looks an awful lot like CHRIS WOOD. HE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they're SWEET, they have a tendency to get pretty GOOFY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to I MISS YOU by BLINK 182. 

SUICIDE TW

Only child, born in Kola, at a young age he was already a big fan of football. Like that’s all he ever wanted. Nothing else mattered except that, although he did have a teeny tiny small geeky side. He just dedicated his life to the sport.

Younger, he used to be a nice kid, never said or done anything wrong, but then when he started high school, he realized all the cool kids were a bit meaner? And since he was a football player, it was kinda expected from him to stay popular or the guys on the team would start kinda hating him? So her started changing himself to fit in.

In sophomore year, he started dating another of the popular girls. It lasted until middle of senior year, and during all those years, her life just became worse and worse, but since he was so focused on sports, he never realized it. She wasn’t happy, and even with how much he loved her, it didn’t help save her. She committed suicide on the night of February 21.

That, obviously, destroyed him. He started losing focus, his grades dropped, and he was getting threatened he wouldn’t get a football scholarship. So just for that, he pulled through. But he was sad, and he just wished he’d paid more attention to the signs, but he was too self-centred for that. So he dropped the façade. He tried to just... become the nice kid he used to be again. People thought it was just his way of dealing with and he’d go back to “normal” sooner or later. But they never knew what really became of him because after graduating, he got his scholarship in Houston and left right away.

HE HATED HIS MAJOR(social sciences) but except football, nothing interested him? So he just continued because he had to be studying to be on the team.

But in his third year, he got an injury that left him in a hospital bed for a few weeks. When he came back, it just looked like he lost some of his skills. They were giving him less play time, and he was more often on the bench than anything. So after his third year, he just left. It was heartbreaking, but he couldn’t stand being sat on the bench all game, he’d rather just not be on a team at all.

So then started his long struggle to find a job. Since he never graduated college, he didn’t have a degree, so he couldn’t be hired in that field. So he just took on some small jobs, moved from city to city because maybe if he travelled a bit he’d find something he liked? But really, he didn’t, and he just ended up back in Kola. 

He got a job, waiting in a small dinner, about a year and a half ago. But now he does both waiting jobs, but some nights he’s also a singer on stage.

CATHERINE WOLFE looks an awful lot like LEIGHTON MEESTER. SHE is THIRTY-ONE and while they're METICULOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty DESPERATE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to I’M A MESS by BEBE REXHA.

Older of two girls, Catherine was always competitive with her sister, even if they were 4 years apart. She wanted to be the heiress of their dad’s company, she believed it was a right for her since she was older.

But she was always in competition with other girls at school. She wanted the best grades, the best clothes, the best friends, everything.

But it wasn’t enough, her sister still surpassed her, and she was the one to have the reins of the company.

That was the one thing Cathy wanted more than anything, but she couldn’t have it. She decided not to throw a tantrum about it(although she probably did in private, with her friends) and just tried to find a career path. She was good with social events, she had quite a lot of money, and her social network was incredible. So she just started hosting events to help different organizations. And that’s all she’s been doing, but she does A LOT of those. 

CECELIA ROSE looks an awful lot like SHAILENE WOODLEY. SHE is TWENTY-SIX and while they're CREATIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty FRIVOLOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS by GREEN DAY.

Okay so as a kid, Cece was always super creative, and she had amazing writing skills. She’d write stories and her parents would just be amazed by all of that.

They started sending her short stories to magazines, some got published, some didn’t, but she always had positive feedbacks about those.

She was only 16 when she published her first novel. AND BOY WAS IT POPULAR! Sure, she finished high school(she was still in junior year at that time) but already she had colleges fighting for her, and internships propositions. One of those, she just couldn’t say no to.

So right after high school, she became an intern to a famous author, one that already had countless books to their name. But it wasn’t what she expected. It was so much pressure, so much negative feedback, her writing got worse and worse. By the time she left, nothing she published made any wave, barely even selling anything. 

It was hard for her, and with what money she made, Cece left Philadelphia and started travelling around the world. She still took some notes down, but she was mostly focused on finding herself. That... honestly didn’t really work, by the time she got back to the States, she already had enough drabbles to write a few stories.

So she started writing again, but instead of going back to Philadelphia, she stayed in the South, in Kola, hoping maybe it would help her become the writer she once was again.

ELYSIA VAN HASSELT looks an awful lot like TAISSA FARMIGA. SHE is TWENTY-THREE and while they're INDEPENDENT, they have a tendency to get pretty BITTER. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to THE ONLY EXCEPTION by PARAMORE.

Her family is Dutch, her grandparents moving to Kola in their early 20s. They were friends, and moved next to each other. With the story of how her parents fell in love, with them being friends the moment they were born, she always believed they were soulmates, and everyone had one somewhere.

So as a kid, she was super sweet, kinda shy even, but she really tried her best to go to others because she still loved meeting new people, it was just hard for her to do the first steps.

She did amazing in school, and honestly she was really happy with her life and Ezra. Probs believed she found her soulmate just like her parents did.

But then he left, and it broke her heart. She distanced herself from people, claiming love didn’t exist and just became an overall meaner and bitter person.

She never went to college, her heart not in it anymore, and just started working in a music/film shop. She probs spends more time listening to music and watching movies in her room than outside.

FLORENCE KNEEN looks an awful lot like MADELAINE PETSCH. SHE is TWENTY-TWO and while they're OUTGOING, they have a tendency to get pretty DEFENSIVE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BREAKAWAY by KELLY CLARKSON.

Grew up poor, in a small town of Nevada, but had big dreams. Her parents actually didn’t want to crush her childhood dreams of becoming a big name in Hollywood, they just encouraged her smh.

So her original plan was to become an actress, but after staring in a few school productions, she realized maybe that’s not what she wanted? Instead, she started working backstage, and that’s where her true love was.

Even if they were poor, she always loved to be dressed nicely so she shopped in the best cheap spots and even if it was no big brands, in her small town, it looked super fancy.

But then she got a scholarship to go study film directing in Kola and she just looked like she was wearing cheap clothes all the time.

BUT SHE DIDN’T CARE BECAUSE SHE WAS DOING WHAT SHE LOVED. Throughout her studies, she produced a few short films, which were all pretty good and loved by everyone. Now that she’s graduated, she’s trying to become famous, trying to get more of her movies approved and shit.

Has no intention of ever going back to Nevada.

LIONEL RUBIO looks an awful lot like OSCAR ISAAC. HE is FORTY and while they're HARDWORKING, they have a tendency to get pretty UNDISCIPLINED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BELIEVER by IMAGINE DRAGONS. 

Lionel was the youngest of three child. He had a brother(10 years older) and a sister(4years older). And both of the youngest were kinda scared of the oldest, since he was a lot ruder and more violent, ya know?

But Lionel was close to his sister, and she genuinely loved playing with him as a kid even if they were 4 years apart.

But then when he was 10, he kinda always had the feeling his brother was dipping in something illegal? And he was right. Their parents were gone for the weekend, so he’d been asked to watch over his siblings. But really he just brought a bunch of scary looking dudes with guns and what his 10-year-old mind thought was bags of sugar. But obvs it wasn’t.

His sister discreetly made her way to his room, and convinced him to sneak out(since he was smaller, he had less chances of getting caught) and go to the neighbour to call the cops. So he did, while she was trying to distract the men. So at 10 years, he got his brother arrested.

Then he just contemplated becoming a cop. Because the ones who came were really nice to him and they told him all those pretty words about how brave he and his sister were. So he just became a cop.

Skip a few years, he’s got a few issues following orders at times, but he’s probs the best cop they have in the station. He got approached then by the FBI and just... went for it. He still has troubles with orders at times, but he just puts his life on the line every single time, probs gets hurt a lot too.

PHILIP MCGEE looks an awful lot like DACRE MONTGOMERY. HE is TWENTY-THREE and while they're CARING, they have a tendency to get pretty VIOLENT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DNA by LIA MARIE JOHNSON. 

ABUSE TW

Say hi to my broken boy Philip. He grew up in an abusive home, although it used to be only towards his mother. His dad was violent, but he never realized it was wrong because he was a kid and his mom pretended it was fine.

But then his mom left when he was 12, not saying anything, she was just gone. So his dad turned his anger on him, claiming he was worthless and all their problems were because of him. It was only verbal at first, but when he was 15, he started showing to school with some bruises(although he tried to cover them, or just said he was clumsy and fell in the stairs.)

People were suspicious, but honestly no investigation lead to anything, until he was 18. It was then that he finally confessed everything, and his dad was taken away. The reason: he himself got angry and punched a wall, and he got scared if it would go on like that, he’d turn just like his dad.

So now that his dad was gone, Philip was finally free to do what he wanted, and travel, which is something he was never allowed to(he never step foot outside his town before then).

He travelled a lot across the States, even some part of Canada, before settling in Kola 2 years ago. Because he enrolled in college there, in criminality.

Now he lives in dorms, and has a part time job. He still has some anger issues but he tries to control them because he’s actually the sweetest dude you’ve ever met.

[henry-hart]

The Danger Begins s1 ep1

I’m so glad I decided to rewatch this because it made me so happy!!!! (also, to keep you guys from getting uber annoyed with me, i’m just gonna lb on one big post like this from now on lolol)

first off

s1 henry was the cutest thing to ever exist. ever. my heart couldn’t take it bc he’s so grown now but in that first ep he’s this adorable little baby chick ajdksjslk

it was so incredible to see Siren on my screen. Like, within thirty seconds BAM there she was. i felt blessed, like she blessed my laptop

PIPER. MY OVERDRAMATIC DAUGHTER. I miss her “I am NOT okay!!!” catchphrase akdjlsj 

her “so we’re living like animals now” reply to being told to wait for her video to load---same girl, same.

Henry at 13 was a million times more proactive about the whole job search than I have ever been and I’m 22 sksjskjsk

his whole “I’m not good at anything. I’m a big ball of average”---I feel that lol

“No special skills needed.” “That’s me!!” 

okay one of Char’s first lines was “One day when you two are cleaning my pool bc you failed this algebra test...” and it doesn’t get more iconic than that

GOOCH. I HAVE MISSED YOU. 

Ray just coming in with all these ridiculous questions lolol poor Hen

“I’m 13. I’ll be 14....on my next bday.” ajskjsksljk

“Ah, so you’re aging sequentially. I like that. The name’s Ray.” “Nice to meet you, Ray. I’m Henry.” “You ask a lot of questions.” “I....don’t think....I’ve asked any questions...????” loved it

I laughed when Ray changed into his uniform and the zipper got stuck (that never happens again????)

“Did you have to melt my phone???” Hen, sweetie, hate to break it to you, but your phone gets broken.....preeeeetty much every ep (need me a bank account like that where I can steady get new iphones)

WhAt Do YoU mEaN nO sPeCiAl SkIlLs HeNrY???? yOu NoTiCeD tHe TaToO!!!!!! u smart lil cookie

Ray was all “I’m getting old. I can’t do this forever.” Two things: 1) RAY DID YOU JUST REFER TO YOURSELF AND OLD IN THE SAME SENTENCE??? 2) why is this never mentioned again??? Like, Ray got a sidekick to pass the mantle onto someone younger to keep protecting Swellview when he’s done. We’re like 4 yrs down the line, and they haven’t even hinted towards CM retiring??? (I know that would mean the end of the show, but they could at least bring it up every now and then)

OK. hated the toddler then. hate him now. 

Props to the props department (ha ha get it???) for all the junk in the store. It’s all so strange and doesn’t make sense and fits the show so well (also it seems like each ep has diff junk??? that’s impressive)

“They seem like nice kids.” “Yeah, they’re names are Jasper x Charlotte. I’ve known them ever since--” “Get rid of them.” “I’ll get rid of them.”

DAWWWW Jasper x his buckets :’))))

“I told you Canadian money upsets ppl!!!” Ah Char (I wonder if Riele comes up with some of these Canada jokes??)

OMG I FORGOT ABOUT HEN’S HORRIBLE TEST WARDROBE. IMAGINE IF THEY HAD KEPT ONE OF THOSE IDEAS AKSJLKSJ (there really wasn’t any need for a whole test wardrobe tho--just style an outfit to fits Ray’s. His obvs works out well for him) (I know that’s what they ended up doing lolol)

Okay, Ray’s “Oh man. I ate a lot of fruit.” line KILLS. ME. bc when i first watched this ep, every time the scene changed and Ray was shown w/ a diff fruit, I was like, “Why...is he eating so much fruit????” bc they’re all diff and he even eats a whole pineapple--outside peel and all. BUT I WAS THINKING IT AND THEN HE SAID IT AND IT MADE IT ONE MILLION TIMES FUNNIER.

LIL BB HEN IN HIS SUIT FOR THE FIRST TIME. I CRY. HE’S SO TINY AND HAPPY

“Chew gum. Blow bubble. Fight crime.” Ray wrote those instructions. I just know it. aksjskl

“And what does a single flashing light mean?” “Just to shoot me a text, you know, whenever.” aksjklsk

HENRY JUST GAVE HIS PLEDGE. THEN. HE. SAID. THE. ICONIC. “FEELS GOOD” FOR. THE. FIRST. TIME. I’M CRYING.

Hen not knowing how to get the tubes to work and just jumping up and down making noises aksjlsk

“Affirmative.” “That means ‘yes’.” “I got that.” and so the sass begins lolol love it

“Awwww no! That was my favorite bridge!”

“I hate my life and I am NOT okay.” i feel u Pipes

the sass is strong in those Hart kids. Siren x Jake can’t catch a break aksjslk

Siren. Hart. Is. So. Beautiful. her hair just looks so good this ep

“I’ll run away. I’ll do it.” ajskjskl Pipes chill

Jake....Siren...that’s....your son on the tv screen...like.....that’s literally your child’s face.....the product of both of your genes is right there.....plastered on the screen.....how do u....not....recognize him?????

“Two ppl said they might come.” “Who?” “Sidney Birnbaum and Oliver Pook.” “Ew.” “Those guys eat bugs.” “So? They’re people.” I just love the kid’s line delivery here lolol

I just want everyone to know that s1 Henry is the cutest. I already said it, but I’m saying it again. 

Henry panicking bc he doesn’t want C x J to keep reading about KD but he also doesn’t know what to do so he just throws a glass and smacks C’s phone out of her hand and clean across the room ajskjslk SAME

Jace was so.....twitchy in the first two seasons. He’s really mellowed---which I understand it happens when you get older---but it’s just so funny to see this little bean with all his crazy expressions and loud outbursts and rapid movements lolol

Hey Lelani? You’re hot (give me ukelele lessons pls)

“The toddler’s men stole 5,000 packages of diapers. Can you guess why?” “Uhhhh???” “To bombard the diapers with radioactive zenite particles.” “.....I would not have guessed that.”

also Ray getting lower to the ground as he talks and Hen just following is so funny to me. Ray was really extra in that first ep 

RAYMOND MANCHESTER HOW DARE YOU GET MAD AT HEN FOR WANTING TO GO TO HIS BFF’S BDAY PARTY INSTEAD OF FIGHTING CRIME. HE IS 13. AND YOU WOULD LATER CALL HIM UP WITH THE EMERGENCY ALARM PAST 12 AT NIGHT FOR CORNDOGS, SO I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT.

“Okay. Okay. It’s cool. You go to Jasper’s party. I’ll handle the toddler by myself. Don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure?” “Yeah. I’ve battled the toddler alone before--almost killed me, but whatever.” and u still want to take a 13 yr old out there??? Ray.

“No, I’m not bringing the muffins!” but u said u would

okay, but the news jumping from CM’s kidnapping to a report on why squirrels love nuts???? TOO tru (they really do that “here’s something serious. kids are dying. now here’s this pointless and meaningless crap” lolol)

“I can’t talk! I’m naked!” friends anyone??? (“You can’t come in. Ross is naked.” “Why’d you tell her I was naked???” “I couldn’t tell her I was naked. She’s allowed to see me naked.” “Why does anyone have to be naked???”) (sorry i just love friends akjslkjs)

I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE SIDNEY X OLIVER ON MY SCREEN. I LOVE THEM. 

I hate u toddler. just in case you were doubting.

Jasper unknowingly saving the day by downloading that sound effect app on Hen’s phone *claps for him*

Henry just....completely kicking butt on his second day???? That’s my son.

“Captain Man!” “Henry!” “It’s Kid Danger.” :))))) I’M SQUEALING. I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. HIS LIL POINT TO RAY AND THAT SMALL SMILE. TOO. CUTE. (also Ray just namedropping like they don’t have identities to protect)

“How do I get you out of there?” “I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve been stuck in a baby bouncer hovering over a bottomless ball pit.” CALL SUPERHEROES OUT, RAY. all these extravagant traps they’re caught in and they just....know what to do??? Doubtful. (bottomless pits are impossible, but you know lol)

Ray swinging around everywhere in that baby bouncer was hilarious alkjdlksj

that spitting device is the literal WORST thing i have ever seen. i freaking hate spit.

God, i wish the toddler had stayed tf down there in that ball pit. i wish that bottle had blown him to the center of the earth. (sorry i just really don’t like him akdjslj)

“What do we do with this? (the bottle bomb)” “We give the baby his bottle.” “Ah. Good call.” “Hey.” “Suuuuup.” “Hurry.” “Oh, right.” aksjlsksjl there are some really good moments in this ep

Ray shielding Henry was <33333 (it would be really messed up if he hadn’t considering he’s indestructible, but I like to think that he chose to)

AJKSJSKLSKSJLK HENRY’S FACE WHEN RAY TOLD HIM “GOOD JOB” WAS SOOOOOOO PRECIOUS. He looked so shocked. Like, “CM thinks I did a good job????” 

It’s like, Henry’s second day on the job, and they’re just namedropping right and left. Why be careful???? It’s not like they have secret identities or anything.....(they steady use their real names. i guess they don’t really have to worry. C must be the only smart person in Swellview bc no one else seems capable of figuring it out. I mean, not even his parents recognized him ajksjslk)

If you need any proof that Ray is a good guy, just watch this ep. His willingness to show up to J’s party despite only knowing Hen for like two days is a solid testament to his character. This is the Ray I know and love.

awwwwww poor Jasp. your party isn’t a flop. It’s about to be lit af because your bff is HENRY FREAKING HART, THE SWEETEST BOY TO EVER LIVE.

Ray, your excuse is horrible. “My van broke down across the street so I decided to come into this house and into this basement.” alskjlskj what is that????

“You’re CM!” “Thank you.” “You’re my hero!” “Of course.” oh Ray

Henry’s just watching J freak out over CM, watching how excited and happy J is and knowing he did that for him, and it’s just----my heart is all ajkdjlsjks

Char is the cutest in this ep. she’s fangirling over CM, and it’s so weird bc now she can’t stand him lolol

Hen x Ray pretending they don’t know each other. SO. PRECIOUS. Ray’s face is so sweet and they share this secret smile and just GAHHHH

J asking CM if he can hit him w/ a bball bat alksjlk “Remember kids: never do this to anyone but CM bc regular ppl could be badly inju--AHHHHHH.......I wasn’t done talking.” “Did that hurt?” “Yeah. But I’m okay.” the way Ray says yeah cracks me up bc it’s like, duh it hurt. it was a bat hitting my head lolol

“Hey, CM?” “Yes, boy?” “Would it be ok if Jasp texted a few friends and told them you were here at his party?” “Suuurrreeee. I love being used.” Ray kills me. cooper x jace have some of the best line delivery/comedic timing akdjslkj

*J is shaking CM’s hand* “Thank you so much! This is the best day of my life!” “Ha ha, are your hands always this sweaty?” “Yes sir.” “He takes medicine for it.” “Wellllll, it’s not working.” *wipes hand on J and leaves wet mark* ajsklj poor Jasper

Henry brought the muffins after all <33333 “Muffins.” “Yeah.” (you can tell Jace x Sean were already good friends. so cute.)

Hen x Char got Jasp the bucket from the shop that Gooch wouldn’t let him have. Dawwwwww

“For awhile there, I thought you weren’t gonna come.” “Come on, man. I’ll always be there for you.” then. they. hug. they’re. so. cute. i. love. solid. friendships.

HENRY’S LAST LITTLE LOOK AT THE PARTY BEFORE HE LEAVES IS THE BEST THING EVER. THE LITTLE NOD HE MAKES LIKE, “YEAH. THIS IS GOOD.” LIKE, HE’S PERFECTLY OK WITH MISSING OUT SO LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE IS HAVING FUN. AHHHHHH. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. :)))))) <3333333

that was a perfect way to end an ep

<3

I’m glad I watched this. I’ve forgotten most of the earlier episodes which is a crime because they’re so good. It was hard to see Jace so little when he’s so grown now!!!!! My heart couldn’t take it. But lil Henry is precious and I love him. Stay tuned for more rewatches!!!! xoxoxox

[janiedean]

Hi! I came across your blog reading some metas about Jaime and Brienne and I really like the way you write and explain things!! I totally agree with you regarding what you say about JB relationship but I asked myself, as a women first of all, how can you manage a relationship with a men like Jaime? How can you handle the fact that he had 3 kids from his own sister? How could Brienne in a possible future?! XD I'd love to hear your opinion, as well as other's if someone wants to follow the topic!

hi! :D

okay so, I replied to someone who asked how brienne might have felt about the whole incest thing/if she knew here, tldr the answer was that she’s known about it since she met him and since she was going to die for him at the end of affc when stoneheart told her to either kill him or get hanged I’m pretty sure it’s not a thing that changes her opinion of jaime at the point where we are in the series, which is a thing, but in order:

how can you manage a relationship with guy like jaime: well, fact is, I think you’re pinpointing the wrong issue, because the issue seems to be that he had three kids from his sister. but, facts are the following.

a) brienne’s known that since they met because he admitted to pushing bran out of the window when he caught him and cersei to cat when she got him drunk in affc and brienne was present, and at that point she certainly didn’t like him. also, he admitted it to her more than once already, in the harrenhaal bathhouse too, so I mean, she must have taken that into account and she still spends affc obviously being so in love with him it’s not even funny and she still was gonna get hanged for him at the end so I’m pretty sure that in the case they got romantic that wouldn’t be the main issue;

b) ‘he has three kids with his sister’ is actually not the crux of it or at least not entirely, because first of all it’s two and not three rn ;), and he actually has no emotional bonding with neither of them because cersei shot down any chance he might have had to. and like, they’ll most likely be all dead before the books are over (I AM DEVASTATED OVER IT MYRCELLA AND TOMMEN DESERVE BETTER) or at most myrcella has a shot at living but if she does she’s most likely gonna stay in dorne so I mean, even if that was the point, she doesn’t actually have to raise them and he doesn’t come with three children he had from cersei, what he comes with is more, trauma related to the fact that he had three children in the context of a relationship that was manipulative at best and abusive at worst (and the two things don’t cancel each other out actually) which he was not allowed to be close to, which as much as people like to handwave... some men actually do suffer for not being able to father their children and it’s obvious he hates it, but he distanced himself emotionally from all of that mess on purpose and if you look how it goes when he tries to be decent to tommen in affc... haha. like, the fact that cersei is his sister just makes it more fucked up but if they weren’t related and it was just someone who had three children with another woman, the problem still would have been that not being able to father them fucked him up further, not that he had them in the first place;

c) also, as stated brienne admittedly right now can’t care less about either thing also because she’s not working on the premise that she has a chance in hell with him anyway, so if she found out she did, I doubt she’d care about that specifically because she’s fallen for him as things are regardless of the incest or the children or him pushing bran out of the window and so on, so the point isn’t whether she can handle the fact that he had three kids from his sister - she can, and other factors trumped that;

so, back to your first question, ‘how can she manage a relationship with a man like him’ isn’t actually how can she manage a rship with a guy who had three children with his sister, because as stated she judged him for it in the beginning and now doesn’t anymore. but the question is rather, will she manage a romantic relationship with a guy who comes from 20+ years of being traumatized all over the place in a bunch of different ways, because we have a) tywin’s abusive parenting [which counts for jaime too, the post I linked gives a thorough rundown] which has also possibly fucked up the only healthy relationship he had with a sibling [tyrion], b) the fact that being in a rship with cersei since he can remember/the fact that she fucked up his sense of identity or at least tried to has given him a skewed view of a lot of things and a fairly unhealthy sex life up until he was in his thirties, c) untreated ptsd thanks to aerys which again is bad enough that he’s been dissociating at will since he was like fifteen and he’s been ignoring up to now, d) the aforementioned trauma related to not being able to raise his own kids, e) hasn’t had any experience whatsoever in like, courting someone or being with people who aren’t related to him in a somewhat healthy way significatively. now obviously if they both live and hook up the books are never going to go over that because I doubt grrm would have time for that and it’s not what the story is about but in an hypothetical future, those would all be issues because as much as jaime is managing all of that shit remarkably well (well enough that 80% of this fandom sleeps on it and thinks he has no issues whatsoever) the moment he has to stop and make a life with someone that shit’s gonna catch up to him;

at which it looks dire, except that on the upside we have the following things to take into account:

a) as stated, jaime’s managed up until now more or less and honestly someone who managed to, like, develop his own personality while growing up with cersei telling him they were the same person and not realizing he was doing it (whenever he says ‘if I was a woman I’d be cersei’ I laugh because jaime NO you’re completely opposite people and he doesn’t even realize it at that point) is made of really strong stuff so he’s most likely gonna get over it/function/get over it enough to get a new start given that he has decent support as well;

b) if you don’t count the above (which admittedly weights a lot, but is not all there is to his personality), jaime’s actually what I’d call a damn good prospect, especially for brienne, because 1) he doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think in general, 2) he doesn’t give a fuck about looks, 3) he respects people for who they are/their skills, 4) has actually one of the straightest moral compasses around when he’s not trying to be his sister or doing things he regrets doing while he’s doing them (spoiler: YES WE KNOW THE THINGS I LOVE, HE SAID WITH LOATHING, the first genius that brings that up has discovered hot water and we know, let’s move on), 5) actually thinks with his own head or he wouldn’t have gotten that distraught over the shit aerys did, 6) not counting cersei and his father and people he’s related to, he’s a pretty damn good judge of character, 7) specifically related to brienne, wants the same things she wants and like, he almost died to save her life/sent her on the knightly quest with the magic amazing valyrian steel sword so... to her, he’s the guy who for once didn’t let her be her own knight in shining armor and actually risked his life for her and saw that she was serious/took her seriously/respects her for what she is and validated her in her life choices, which is about everything she wanted in a man before. never mind that she also obviously likes him aesthetically (half a corpse and half a god, amrite?) and as far as he’s concerned as stated he doesn’t give a fuck for looks and he hasn’t stopped thinking about her astonishing pretty amazing beautiful eyes since his first asos chapter SO;

c) also, it’s one of jaime’s main tropes/things that he has going on with himself but tldr this guy thrives on doing things for love of whichever person - whether bad or good - and like... obv. they’re a courtly trope deconstruction and so on, but the thing is that if this idiot loves you or is in love with you, he’ll go to any length for you, which is not a necessarily good thing (because with cersei or his father and so on it didn’t help him see the situation clearly, but with tyrion well HEY at least they had a healthy rship until tywin used it to fuck tyrion up.....) and it’s not fair if the other person uses it to their advantage *cough* cersei *cough* and also he admittedly doesn’t have the easiest personality to deal with...

d) ... except that brienne’s already handled him/his shining personality well enough since they met and they’re actually complementary in that sense because where he behaves like the singer in an 80s hair metal power ballad and would basically do anything for required affections and would go overboard for it as long as the other person cares about him (which is why cersei cheating on him was that devastating, and finding out she cares more about herself than anyone else was), she has a self-esteem in that sense that’s at about anctartica-level temperatures and she thinks no one can ever see her as a viable match/a potential partner never mind a romantic partner (in affc she never considers that he might want her back) because she’s internalized all her life that she’s not desirable and what she has to offer is not what men would want, but on the other side (even if the show likes to forget it a lot of time) she’s still an extremely patient and kind person who doesn’t like bullshit but has a lot of time for people she cares about and who likes to remind people about doing the honorable/right thing all the time and couldn’t take advantage of anyone if she tried, which makes them absolutely good matches for each other because she likes him for who he is and not for what she thinks he should be or because she thinks he’s like her or because he’s an extension of her/her just male *cough* and she can handle whatever he throws at her (she’s done that already), and at the same time she’d get a guy who respects her for who she is and wouldn’t want her to change for appearances. on the other side, he’d get to be with someone who cares for him, not for what he represents, who has the exact right type of personality to handle his shit, who’d get most of it (because 1) they’re both knights/want the same things in the chivalry sense, 2) if as I think she’s gonna kill stoneheart for him she’ll have her own aerys experience same as he had, 3) the both of them doing that job means they would relate on that), with whom he wouldn’t have to hide his affections/their relationship and who definitely wouldn’t forbid him to father his own damned kids should they have them;

e) ah, and they’re also sexually compatible af and you’re not taking that hc away from me. ;)

so, tldr: she could because she loves him and she does it enough that if she can die for him I think everything else can be worked on, and they’re perfectly good matches for each other which means they’d have a fairly good chance of outlasting the difficulties that would most likely arise the moment they settle down and proceed make out for the next five years, thanks for coming to my ted talk ;)

[itsjulesharper]

When we left our intrepid characters, Philippe had stupidly and against all sense, charged off on his own, in the night, without guards (yeah, this would never happen) to the Bastille to find out who this mysterious Duc de Sullun is. And promptly got hit on the nopper. Louis meanwhile, thinks he is hot shit because of all the awesome lights and running water he’s given to his people. JUST LOVE MEEEEEE.

So somehow, Philippe has made it back home to bed, and Liselotte is leaning over him while he is disorientated and half-awake. He looks awful. Bontemps is heard saying, “nothing to worry about, your Highness.” (WRONG form of address – should be ‘your royal Highness’. And so it starts.) Did Bontemps clonk Philippe? Of course, he was acting all forms of suspicious last ep, so he was most obvs. there to swoop in and bring Philippe back. Can’t have a royal prince of France just getting all KILLED without a guard or backup or anything, can we?? Anyways, the doctor says he has a mild concussion and Bontemps adds, “caused no doubt, by the fall.” WHAT FALL. So this is the narrative being spun by suspect Bontemps, eh? “I didn’t fall, ” mumbles Philippe. “I was hit.” There is blood on the pillow and the camera focus goes from clear to fuzzy then back again and everyone is concerned and I am concerned that they keep calling him YOUR HIGHNESS FFS. Philippe wants to talk to his brother but Liselotte says he’s not going anywhere. Philippe mumbles stuff about ‘the mask’ and Bontemps looks quite a bit shitty while Liselotte is all confused and Philippe goes on: “his eyes… one of the prisoners… was wearing a mask.” Bontemps tells the doctor to ensure he gets the rest he needs, Philippe finally falls asleep and we are into the intro.

In the gardens, and Louis and Leopold are in a frantic battle of swords, with lots of clanging and thrusting and grunting and moving about. Leopold finally elbows Louis in the face and draws blood, and Louis looks quite shocked. Bontemps makes a step forward but Marchal puts a hand on his shoulder. Not yet. Louis gives Leopold a look, wipes his nose and turns away… but Leopold advances and Louis whirls, blocking the thrust and they continue to clash. Louis lands a blow on the other man’s kidneys and he advances again before a breath can be caught. They grapple and struggle and in the struggle, Leopold manages to disarm Louis, taking both swords. Louis is shocked and angry (as you would be) and we hear the tiniest sound of a blade being drawn, then see Marchal step forward as he slides his dagger from his belt *heart eyes*.  Leopold takes a breath then lowers both swords, his point proven. Bontemps says loftily, “It is customary for the king’s adversary to bow after the fight.” Leopold, looking sweaty and spent, answers: “In Austria it is customary for the loser to bow.” Bontemps ain’t havin’ any of that: “This is not Austria, your Majesty. This is Versailles.” (Not YOUR MAJESTY, UGGGGH). There’s a bit of a Mexican standoff and we see shitty Bontemps, mouth breathing Louis, Leopold looking from every face and gauging the mood and how much he can get away with. Finally he inclines his head (not at ALL like a proper bow) And offers Louis’ sword back. Louis takes it in silence.

And next scene we are walking back into Versailles. Louis says, “a clever ploy. A vicious attack hidden behind a show of weakness.” Leopold replies, “History remembers the winner, not the manner of his victory.” Ah, so now we are on the subject of winners, and Louis says it is time to enter negotiations. Leopold received word from Rome and they ‘look favourably on your guardianship of Strasbourg and Luxembourg.’ Louis is pleased and now wants to discuss Spain. Sure, your Majesty go right ahead, because I am taken by the lovely staircase and marble everywhere. Ahhhh, now they are talking about their ‘deal’ – on King Charles of Spain’s death, they split the spoils. Louis replies that much has changed since that deal. Leopold is all ‘such as?’ and Louis leans in and says tightly, “I won the war.” Before Leopold can reply, the queen floats down the stairs, asking who won. Of course she is talking about the duel, and Leopold says “His Majesty was kind enough to allow me victory.” The queen is concerned for Louis’ bloody nose, but he’s ‘meh, it’s nothing’ about it. Her gaze darts from Leopold to Louis, then back again and Louis picks up on the weirdness, saying that she seems…. “tired.” Huh. Not what I would’ve gone with, but there you go. Nothing that can’t be remedied by a walk in the gardens, it seems. And just look at Leopold – a ‘yeah, I shagged you last night and it was goooood’ expression if ever I saw one.

how you doin’?

The queen looks flustered, bobs a curtsey and hurries down the steps, and Louis does not see her or her lady’s smiles as they float off. Leopold turns to Louis: “how much of Spain do you want?” Louis answers tightly, “All of it,” then continues up the stairs. Leopold sighs, glances back down to the queen in the distance then goes on his way.

*historical note: Louis did indeed demand Spain as part of his wife’s dowry because at the time, he knew Spain could not pay the monies he wanted and so, the ‘we give you money in exchange for the ‘not challenging the throne of Spain” agreement was forfeit. It was also expected that King Charles of Spain (the queen’s brother and also in possession of the mighty Hapsburg jaw) wouldn’t live very long. He surprised them all by living until he was nearly thirty-nine.  He was born in 1661, a year after his sister Marie-Therese was married to Louis and so was living in France. She was 22. 

that art on the wall – lulz.

so pretteh….

We are back with Philippe, and he is finally on his feet, shuffling along and holding his head but still in a daze. He goes into one of Louis’ private salons and Louis and Bontemps are there, Louis telling him he really should be in bed. Dazed and confused, he sits, and Bontemps butts in with his prepared standard line – that Philippe had ‘an unfortunate accident.’ But nuh-uh Philippe is not here for that mansplaining shit. But Bontemps is really invested in this, even going so far as to say that he spoke with the governor who assured him that Philippe SLIPPED AND FELL. Nup. Philippe calls bullshit on that, saying he went to the Bastille to see the prisoner, then was struck, and that the prisoner wore a mask of iron. And I must say, Louis is rather calm after hearing a prince of France not only went to the Bastille ALONE and without guards, but was hit. He says he was told that the prisoner’s real name was Macquart. Philippe is confused and now we hear the lie Bontemps has settled on – the prisoner is a petty criminal and of unsound mind, believing himself to be an actual duke, so the guards gave him the title of le duc de Sullun to appease him. But why that name? Apparently, ‘Sullun’ is latin – the reverse of ‘nullus’, meaning ‘no one’. And the man in the iron mask does not exist, Louis explains, and it is all in Philippe’s head. Bontemps watches them both in silence but his expression is not quite right but I am suddenly distracted by what Louis is wearing. Look at it! Louis tells Philippe to go back to bed and the scene becomes blurry.

We are back in the gardens and Leopold is striding around, obvs looking for the queen to remind her of teh sexytimes they both had. How indiscreet of him. He finds her nervously undercover of some trees and does his best alpha male impression by silently going over to her, cupping her face and going in for a neck snog. The queen doth protest, overcome by some late shyness/modesty/guilt/loyalty I suppose. Why not? Leopold asks. “You will soon be gone,” she softly replies. Oh, okay. “It will only increase the pain of your departure,” she adds when he wants to just snog it out and enjoy each other. He looks frustrated, asks if he can trust her, that he needs her help. “Your husband is trying to destroy the dynasty that our ancestors have spent six hundred years creating. He will claim all of Spain on your brother’s death. The Hapsburgs will soon be extinct.” The queen is concerned and wants to know what he intends to do about it. “I will stop him.” But how? Oh, apparently his niece Eleanor will marry the queen’s brother, Charles. Plus he wants the queen to write a letter to her brother recommending the union. The queen asks why she should help him, so he plays the “you are a Hapsburg” card, plus the ‘your husband just wanted you for political stuffs, not you as a woman’ guilt trip. Wheeee. He rubs it right in: “He abandoned you the day he married you. Since then, his only gifts have been solitude and infidelity.” The scene cuts to the queen with parchment and quill, thinking what to write, then goes back to them in the garden where they finally kiss WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE THIS, and we have three close-ups of the queen’s ruby ring and THIS IS SIGNIFICANT so take note of it. The queen’s voiceover is then heard: “My dear brother Charles. I am writing to you concerning marriage…”

*Historical note: they mess up the real time lines so much it makes my head spin. Charles of Spain married in 1679 at the age of eighteen to …..SPOILER!!!! Philippe’s favourite daughter, Marie-Louise. She was 17. Can you see how confused I am – are we in 1679? Or 1674 because baby Philippe was born then? Or 1667, when the street lights were first on? Or….  …..SPOILER!!!! 1683 when the queen dies? UGH. FRUSTRATED.  😫

Now back in the salons and we hear the Chevalier holding court, saying “they say that at Villarceaux she spent her nights on her back in bliss, and her days on her knees in penance.” Chortle, chortle. “If you want my opinion – and I’m sure you do-” He suddenly is cut short by the appearance of Maintenon in the doorway, Delphine beside her, and he skilfully changes with subject with “the question is… what colour for the forthcoming season? Blue or green?” The two women blithely stroll and mingle while everyone gossips (CHAIRS WITH ARMS NOOOOO 😡😡) and I’m loving the look of that dark-haired noble behind Liselotte. So very mysterious. We follow Maintenon, and suddenly we see Louis’ last bedmate gossiping with the other demoiselles, saying “behind that air of prudishness, she’s quite the slut. And the next time I see the king, I’ve a good mind to tell him about it.” Silly chit. We know how this is gonna end, don’t we? (but also – look at those gowns!!) And look at this screen cap, which I loooove. Look at the demoiselle’s expression over her shoulder. And the two messieurs behind Delphine, just waiting for a scene.

Delphine is at a loss as to who everyone is talking about, and is shocked when Maintenon confirms she is the subject of all the gossip. Of course there’s no truth to the rumours, she assures Delphine, then excuses herself. She glides, head held high, out the doors and then leans against the stone wall, taking unsteady breaths. The camera pans around and Bontemps appears. “her ladyship seems upset.” (WAT LULZ. Not the correct way to address a marquise, ffs……) “Tell me, Bontemps,” she starts a little out of breath. “Do you consider it the mark of nobility to destroy a lady’s reputation with sordid gossip and lies?” errr…. no. Bontemps looks a bit out of his depth. She nods. “Neither do I.” And she floats off. So now Bontemps is all het up and goes into the salon, all curious-like. He looks a bit shitty as he sees the gossip girl laughing with her gossip friends and then the scene cuts back to Maintenon, who appears to be stomping about and looking for someone. Ahhh. Madame de Montespan. Montespan greets her politely but Maintenon gets right into it, accusing her of being behind the rumours. Montespan claims her innocence – “Why would I do such a thing?” – and Maintenon comes back with the old and favourite ‘you’re just jealous’. Montespan finds that amusing, says it is the other way around, that she was ready to risk everything, while Maintenon is not. And then… ahahahhhhhaaaaaa! She says, “is it true you put other women in his bed?” And I LAUGH AND LAUGH because as I mentioned in Ep1, this is what the real Montespan did, and the real Maintenon tried her earnest to keep women OUT of Louis’ bed because of all the sinning and stuffs. Well, apparently the king has needs that must be satisfied and these women mean nothing to him, says Maintenon with much conviction. Yeah, but nup. Montespan has her number, can see the other woman is scared. Of what? “Of your own passion. You are scared that if you give in to it, you will lose control. You take refuge in piety and denial but behind the mask you’re just screaming with pain.”

Next scene – Leopold is studying paperwork in his rooms with his Austrian Bontemps, niece Eleanor reading a book in the corner, and he is told King Charles is expecting their imminent arrival. How is Leopold going to approach the negotiations, his Austemps asks. The same as Louis – “Lie, haggle, concede, coerce, protest…. and smile.” When his man reminds Leopold the king is dangerous and starts to offer advice, Leopold gets a bit shitty. He does not need advice: “This is a game of cards. The prize is Spain and I have the trump card.” DISMISSED, AUSTEMPS.

Right, so Louis enters the small prayer room where Maintenon has perched her carcass. Again. She turns. Louis is shitty. “There is talk in the salon.” Oh, I’ll bet there is. He wants to know if there is any truth in it. “No, Sire. It is scurrilous gossip designed to destroy my reputation.” DEAR LORD, MAINTENON. You could’ve come clean. He was offering you the prime opportunity to tell him all about it. And so you LIE, knowing how he feels about liars. *headdesk* Louis is annoyed because it also damages his reputation. Maintenon kisses ass: “The king must know he has my total trust. I only pray I have his.” Right-o, sowing the seeds for when she finally does tell the truth, then. He gives her a look then says, “come with me.”

Back in Leopold’s rooms and Eleanor wants to go to the salons. “No, you will stay here and practice your embroidery.” (Lulz) “Embroidery is for spinsters.”😆 He gives her a champion side eye – she needs to show a little more humility and respect… oh, and befriend the queen. Eleanor isn’t impressed – the queen seems dull to her. She’s a Habsburg, dammit. And you will talk to her about Spain. Ugh. Srsly. How boring. Eleanor seems lovely and bouncy like a teenager often is, looking for fun and excitement. But Leopold doesn’t care for that: “You are only here because I have a use for you.” Eleanor looks shitty, as would I. “Yes, Uncle.”

Bontemps doing his now-standard shitty look.

Right-o, so Louis enters the salon after Bontemps announces him, and everyone stops gossiping and playing cards and does the usual stand/bow/curtsey. He looks shitty, and Maintenon behind him looks apprehensive, and then he announces “To lie is a sin. To slander is a sin. To seek to destroy someone through unfounded gossip is a sin. A woman close to me who does great honour to this court has seen her reputation stained by the poison of gossip. In harming her, you harm your king. This will stop. Now.” The camera pans to Maintenon, then to the Gossip Girl as Louis turns to look at her and – we learn her name is Mademoiselle de Vasseur – tells her she is no longer welcome at Versailles. The camera pans to a few faces: the shocked and controlled-panicky Vasseur, Maintenon who follows Louis as he leaves, Liselotte with a tight expression, Montespan as Vasseur rushes from the room while whispers start. Liselotte approaches Montespan, says the girl is innocent. Montespan: Nobody here is innocent. Liselotte: You started those rumours. Montespan: They’re not rumours, they’re true. She deserves to be punished for her past, just as I was.

Liselotte leaves while Bontemps gives Montespan the most shittiest look eva.

The music swells (LOOOOOVE the music!) and we are outside, in the coeur d’honneur following a hooded female figure all the way up to the guards who cross their weapons and TAH-DA it is the return of Sophie! “I think you’d probably better arrest me.”

Scene cut to Marchal walking through to his office dungeon, and he gives a sigh, turns and sees Sophie standing there. Then a conversation is had about where she’s been (Holland) and why she was there (Thomas told her) and what she is doing now (being a double agent, apparently. Working for William of Orange as a spy but telling Marchal all about it). Marchal looks rather intimidating, circling her and meeting her eyes and getting very close, but Sophie looks very cool and calm. Now they are both before Louis and he is all “A spy. Here at Versailles.” She spins her story, saying she refused to spy, that she was not suited, that she then escaped by seducing the guard then taking refuge in convents and taverns on the way home. Huh. A likely story. Louis is a bit shitty at the thought of her wanting to reclaim her title and fortune (Cassel’s fortune), and Sophie is all “I place myself at your mercy, sire.” Louis is not fooled. “Lock her up.” Sophie plays her trump card, blurting out that William of Orange’s army is on the march, 10,000 men headed to Austria to support Emperor Leopold. Louis’ WTF face is so funny 😄 Interesting that Sophie gives up some info to ‘prove’ her innocence, yet that info can’t immediately be confirmed or denied. Of course, Marchal is gonna make enquiries to confirm it and meanwhile she remains locked up.

We are back with Philippe, who is fully dressed on the bed, contemplating…. something. He slowly sits up and with a determined look, heads to see Louis. Bontemps looks surprised to see him, says the doctor was most insistent. “He is no longer my doctor. And I know what I saw.” Bontemps looks worried as Philippe continues on, and Bontemps strides off to see a guard, instructing him to go to the stables and prepare a horse and messenger to leave immediately for Rome.

The queen is teaching Eleanor Spanish in the queen’s rooms as they play cards, the younger girl asking questions about “the king, your brother” saying she must miss him and I am UGH NO HE WAS BORN IN 1661, A YEAR AFTER SHE LEFT SPAIN TO MARRY LOUIS. The queen is coolly “yes, I miss him terribly,” (reminder: MARRIED) and she has his portrait to remind her of him (the original was painted by Claudio Coello).  Eleanor is holding back the ewwww when the queen says “it’s not his fault he was born that way. As you can imagine, he suffers, but he has a noble heart.” Eleanor is so not impressed.

*historical note: Charles of Spain was the last of the Hapsburgs and had a shit load of physical and mental challenges, due to a history of consanguineous unions (uncles marrying nieces, cousins to cousins. Louis and the queen were actually first cousins, as their parents were brother and sister) . If you are interested in reading more about the doomed Hapsburg dynasty there was a fascinating study done in 2009 in science journal PLOS One on the role of inbreeding in the European royal dynasty here. 

Leopold does not like what Louis proposes for their negotiations. “If you claim all of Spain and its territories you will trigger a war with every country in Europe!” Louis is not deterred, because yo, he has won one war and his army is well-prepared for another. Leopold is mucho angry:  it would be a war without end. “I want what is mine,” Louis replies. “You think everything is yours,” is Leopold’s reply. Louis is all casual-like: “What will you do if the Turks advance on Vienna? Hope it rains? Or are you counting on the rabble that is William of Orange’s army?” Leopold’s expression is ‘uh-oh’ as Louis delivers his persuasive argument – “the only person who can protect you is me.” But Leopold says that the pope will never approve of giving Spain to Louis. More negotiations – Louis says he’ll only take 80%, Leopold says ‘nup, nuh-uh.’ Better start Turkish lessons, then.

Next scene…. Philippe riding ALONE through the woods and minus any guard or escort. I am wondering if this horrid oversight of what it actually means to be a prince of France is deliberately ignored in order to show the viewer that he is very bad-ass and fiery and will do whatever TF he wants. But it backfires on this viewer. It is stupid. We see a nice shot of the Bastille and then we are inside, where Philippe is talking to the head guard and we learn that the dude in the room that Philippe said contained the Iron Mask Man has cut his wrists. We see this dude – Macquart – obvs dead, face down on the desk and with blood on the floor. Philippe lifts up the dead man’s head, and he knows it is not the one who was originally there. We cut to the jailer, who is looking just a wee bit nervous, then Philippe asks “Who struck me?” but the jailer is still going with the ‘slipped and fell’ defence and Philippe is not happy about that. He also says the dead man wore a mask of iron….aaaaand the jailer is all confused and “Your Highness, there is no prisoner wearing such a thing,” which we all know is total bullshit because we have seen it all with our own eyes. The body is removed, the jailer bows and Philippe is left standing in the room looking a bit frustrated and sighing mightily. Then he spots the words “KILL ME” carved in the stone wall. He turns and walks out, past a ranty and smelly-looking poor sod in a cage outside. Philippe pauses with a brief sad smile, does the whole “Do you know who I am?” to which the ranty dude says “I know you better than you know yourself.” then it sounds like he says “Philippe of Gutter and Arsewipe and Good Dung.” My French subs say “of gutter and dung” which is about right. Philippe is amused, asks if he knew of the (now dead) man in the cell. “Everybody knows him, nobody knows him, if you know what I am saying. Don’t look him in the eyes, he’ll eat you up.” Is he still alive? Philippe wants to know. Dude gets a bit angry: “he’s undead! You can’t kill him!” But Philippe is also angry and all “did he wear a mask?!!” Ranty Man sticks to his story: “He will kill you with his eyes!” and then we hear other noises and Philippe has had enough, striding out as Ranty Man finishes with “Cain, brother of Abel. Two brothers drenched in blood and cursed forever!” which is pretty much a dead giveaway to what is to come.

Right, so back in the gardens of Versailles and…. okay, the Chevalier is strolling arm-in-arm with Liselotte, while two servants walk behind with the baby, looking all cosy as a couple. Also  WEIRD AF because historically those two hated each other at this stage, only calling a truce much later in life when everyone was older and (I guess) tired of fighting about shit. Maintenon bows her head at Liselotte’s greeting and she asks to admire the petit prince and everyone smiles and looks on adoringly. Then Maintenon looks all concerned and serious and I know some shit is gonna go down because she is Maintenon the cow and knows Liselotte was part of the rumour spreading. “If I may. I don’t mean to seem impertinent, but I think you are making a grave mistake by keeping him here.”

baby Philippe ahhhhh!

WAT.

The Chevalier gives Liselotte a look, and Liselotte is all calm and “is that so?” Maintenon replies: “Well, it is not the right environment for a child.” (and I laugh and laugh because LOUIS HAS ALL HIS KIDS THERE, and for fucksake, if it is good enough for HIS HEIRS then it is good enough for everyone else!) Liselotte, comes back with a polite fuckyou:

Kindly shut the fuck up.

Liselotte: May I ask what gives you the right to tell me how to look after my child? Maintenon: I was a governess. Liselotte: Yet never a mother. Maintenon: (expression a bit tight) Alas, no. Liselotte: You’d think one of your many lovers would solve that problem. Maintenon: (after a pause) It would seem your reputation for honesty and integrity is ill-deserved.

Then Maintenon flies off on her broom glides away while the Chevalier smacks his lips and says “well, that went well,” and Liselotte is much disturbed by what just transpired. (Narrator: As well she should. Much wtfuckery is about to explode. EXPLODE, I TELL YOU! 😡)

We are back with Louis and his ministers, and Colbert is flicking annoyedly through the pages of a ledger, saying that their monies to finance their expansion into the Americas and to fortify their borders will add another two million to the deficit. UUUUGH. More pesky money talk and Louis can’t quite believe that he doesn’t have an endless pit of money to allow him to run the country as he sees fit. (Sames, Louis, sames) He demands that his people respect the law i.e. pay the taxes they simply cannot afford. So begins the rise of Tyrant Louis in all his splendour, setting the stage for an obvious revolt later on. Colbert is annoyed and frustrated. Then Bontemps enters and says he’s discovered the source of the Maintenon rumours. Louis knows without Bontemps confirming: “bring her to me.”

We are back in Paris, with Guillaume and Jeanne in their eh-by-gum Yorkshire workshop where they are stressing about taxes. G thinks his workers are just being slackers, and demands to know who hasn’t paid their taxes because his is an upstanding, law abiding citizen. Some workers say they haven’t – they don’t like the hike: “the king’s gone too far.” Thus ensues a resigned exchange: “if you want us to pay more taxes, give us more money.” “If I pay you more money, the business will fold.” “Whether we work or not, most of us are gonna die in rags and poverty.”

Back at Versailles and we have a stunning-looking Montespan going before Louis. His back is turned, Bontemps says “there is a piece of paper on the table. You will read it aloud then sign it.” So with great trepidation she reads: “I, the Marquise de Montespan, do hereby renounce and relinquish my place at the court of Versailles. I pledge to sever all contact with anyone I may know at the palace and will take no further part in court life. I shall devote the rest of my days to prayer and charitable work. I have sinned and I accept my penance.” She signs as Bontemps tells her her affairs are in order, and a carriage will take her to the convent of Sainte Ursule, never return to court. Montespan is clearly shaken, says, “a condemned normally has a right to a last word before being led away.” Louis does not turn around as she begins: “where I once saw the warm face of a man, I now see the stone face of a tyrant. You treat those around you like slaves and you place yourself beyond mortal sway. But remember the story of Icarus – fly to close to the sun and you will fall and drown.”

Bontemps always seems to be in a state of shitty side-eyes

There is a pause: Louis looks so very shitty, like a petulant child suffering a parental scolding. Finally he says (still not turning around), “the dance is over. Go.” And so Montespan leaves. Louis says to Bontemps, “In time I will forgive her. But I will never forget.” And there we have it. The end of Montespan’s reign. We see her in slo-mo through the corridors, music swelling as she makes her final walk past the courtiers, her face a mask of tight control. Maintenon watches her go then turns on her heel, slo-mo walking towards the camera that smug, nasty little witch.

*Historical note: Montespan did indeed leave Versailles for a convent but it happened over time. First she was moved to a less favourable apartment in 1685, then in 1687 Louis changed his visiting times.   She was consoled from this fall from favour by seeing her children married off well, then in 1691 she finally left court to the convent Saint-Joseph in Paris’ Rue de Saint-Dominique, where Louis allocated her an allowance of 500,000 francs.  You can read more about her here. 

The scene cuts to Maintenon in her rooms, now lounging nekkid in the bath, and Louis the creeper is watching her through the gap in the door. She stands, wraps herself in a sheet and is surprised to see Louis in the shadows. She wants to know how long he’s been there, and he acts like a teenager, kind of stuttering and getting her robe. Right. They stand before a glorious mirror, and she thanks him for what he said in the salons, in defence of her honour. (what honour UUUUGH) and then he goes in for a snog and she is more than willing to let him, even as she whispers “Please don’t. I can’t.” More snogging, a bit of va-jay-jay grabbing, which seems to snap her out of it, breaking away and hissing, “Enough. His majesty takes advantage of his station.” ?????? WTF. Louis is angry: “sometimes I don’t know what my station is with you.” And Maintenon is all “I would ask you to leave.” He does in a mighty huff but she stops him with an offering: “The Marquise de Quincy awaits his majesty in his room.” Nice pimpin’ there, Maintenon. Louis turns and storms off, while Maintenon sits and looks a bit stressed but most def. does not cry as you would expect one would when you send the man you love INTO ANOTHER WOMAN’S BED.

And there Louis is, entering his room as a pretty marquise obediently sits on his bed and removes her robe. Louis’ expression is all ‘ugh’ and quite a bit shitty but hey, lets not allow feelings and stuffs to get in the way of a tumble in the sheets, eh?

Meanwhile, Leopold is in his room, quaffing from that FABULOUS GLASSWARE, and his door slowly opens to reveal the queen. And so they engage in some shagging after she tells him she wrote the letter.

Louis stands and stares melancholic from his window as Bontemps enters, and he bids his servant to come join him a moment. He is in a mood: “Everyone looks at a king and says ‘I would give anything to be in his place. All he wants is his.’ But they see only the surface. They see nothing of the shadows below.” Bontemps: “No one has all he wants, sire. Not even a king.” Louis replies cryptically, “From the darkest shadow springs the brightest light.”

A shot of the fountain now and is it daybreak or sunset? We follow Marchal walking a dingy corridor with keys, leading us to Sophie in a cell. Has he come to torture her? “My men have checked every detail of your journey from Holland. It seems you are telling the truth.” And so, the king has given permission for her release. “You are once again, the duchesse de Cassel.” Yeah, but nah. Marchal still does not trust her and I am on his side with that. Something just seems off with it all. “You may be free,” Marchal drawls, “but whatever you do, whoever you talk to, wherever you go, I’ll be watching you.” Sophie casually walks past him, looking a little flirty. “Even when I return to my chambers?” Marchal watches her go with a suspicious eye and I am all OKAY THEN.

We are in the chambers of Liselotte, where she is cooing over baby Philippe’s cot. Look at her face! What a lovely domestic motherly scene. PITY IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO IT. Liselotte is all heart eyes “Philippe, he smiled! Come and look!” Meanwhile, Philippe is moping on the bed, while she breathlessly says “look at those blue eyes! Aren’t they beautiful!” And still Philippe looks mega-shitty and now I AM SO ANNOYED because Real Philippe absolutely adored his children and it physically pains me to see him portrayed as a spoilt, moody asshole. But wait, ‘blue eyes’ hits a chord with him and we can practically see his brain starting to click and turn. BLUE EYES. And he storms off without a word. UGH.

Philippe stomps into Marchal’s dungeon (WITHOUT GUARDS yet again), asks if the name Marcquart means anything to him, then relates what he knows – a thief in the Bastille, face hidden behind an iron mask, then a dead body is removed. The first man had blue eyes, the dead man, brown. Philippe needs Marchal’s help to get to the bottom of it, but bummer, Marchal only serves the king. “Don’t see this as work. See this more of… say…. leisure activity.” LULZ the look on Marchal’s face. 

Murder investigation for fun? I AM SO THERE.

your people? errr…. they love you.

We are back in Louis’ rooms and Guillaume is measuring him for shoes, Jeanne taking notes. “Tell me about the mood of the people in Paris,” Louis suddenly says. G is all ‘wtf now?’ before he says “they are happy, sire. To be ruled by so generous a monarch.” But hey, aren’t they unhappy with paying their taxes? “nothing that isn’t cured by hard work, sire.” Louis continues to fish, saying that surely there are some who despise their king. AS IF Guillaume would go “oh, yeah. Let me give you their names.” ? Instead he placates, says there will always be those who don’t think of the glory of France, who think only of themselves…. while Jeanne’s expression is quite a bit ‘ugh.’ She finally says, “they are hungry.” and Bontemps butts in with “mind your tongue” and I am really, REALLY starting to dislike Bontemps this season. Louis wants to hear, however, and goes on a bit of a condescending monologue, like they are both children: “You must understand that a king is only there to serve his people and his country, to defend the land, to develop trade and commerce. To pay for construction. All these things require money. (MANSPLAINING a king’s duties) And the only way to raise money is through taxation. Is that so wrong?” Jeanne: It is. If it bleeds the people dry. Louis: SHOCKED FACE. Jeanne: The people his majesty claims to serve believe he serves only personal ambition.

Let me mansplain being a king to you.

The music becomes ominous as Guillaume tries to backtrack, but Jeanne will have none of it. She means what she says. Louis steps to her, gives her a death stare and says, “But you are wrong. I do not seek glory for myself but for France.” (But you are France, Louis. Srsly). Jeanne: Your people care little for the glory of France, sire. They are grateful for clean water and lighting, but neither will fill their stomachs. Louis steps away, looks thoughtful, then thanks them for their honesty. And as they leave, Guillaume is furious. “Have you lost your mind?” Jeanne retorts: “have you lost your origins?” They have a hushed argument about being ungrateful for the king’s favour, how she told Louis the truth, would he have her lie? YES! says G. Why? Because he’s the king! And interestingly, here we see the seeds of motivation for Jeanne. This makes sense. Her character makes sense. We see her in her Ordinary World, we see her struggles and her conflict, dealing with the people around her, and so as time goes on, we understand her motivation for all she does. Unlike Agathe in Season 2, who was just ‘down with the tyrant king!’ without any real reason WHY.

Now we are in a salon with Marchal, and he approaches Philippe. He has news – his agents in Paris say Marcquart was a harmless petty thief, just trying to feed his family. “So what was he doing in the Bastille?” Philippe asks. Marchal: “He was not in the Bastille.”

Duh-DUH. Orchestra, play something dramatic.

We’re walking with Leopold and his Bontemps now, and Leo confirms the pope will look favourably upon the match… and right now I am most concerned with the huge and disturbing absence of PEOPLE. There is a distinct lack of people in Versailles and it is hugely distracting to me. Servants, courtiers, guards, ministers… where ARE THEY??? no one was hardly ever alone in Versailles, there were bodies E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. But these corridors and halls are empty and there only seems to ever be a handful of people in the salons or strolling about the gardens.

Gonna leave you tomorrow. So sad.

Anyways, Leo enters Louis’ rooms – he has good news and bad. Good news – he’s decided he is gonna give 80% of Spain to Louis upon Charles’ death. He says he’s had enough of war, he wants peace and stability. And the bad news? Leo is leaving. They hug, they smile and tonight they will celebrate the signing of their agreement.

BUT WAIT…. FORGET THAT. One of the most GTFO scenes is just about to happen. STRAP IN.

Liselotte is in her rooms, cooing over baby Philippe when we hear the doors open. Bontemps, two guards and mega-cow Maintenon walk in. ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?????? Liselotte’s expression drops. “No. Please. Don’t take him away. Let me talk to the king.” Bontemps: It is the law of the palace, your Highness. I am sorry (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO IT IS NOT) A guard steps forward and Liselotte pushes him away and WAT. Another guard grabs her and holds her back and I AM IN A FUCKING RAGE BECAUSE SHE IS A PRINCESS OF FUCKING FRANCE WHAT THE FUCK. Liselotte screams, the baby cries (A PRINCE OF FRANCE FOR FUCKSAKE!) “Take him away and you take away my heart,” Liselotte sobs, Bontemps says “this is no place for children” (WHAT A FUCKING CROCK – there were children everywhere in Versailles, including LOUIS’ OWN FUCKING CHILDREN) and Maintenon, that utter fucking hypocritical snake, murmurs “it is for the best,” and the doors close as Liselotte sobs.

And here – HERE – is where I lost all hope for this season. Seriously. This is so much fucking bullshit that I can smell it clear on the other side of the world. THIS IS WRONG. I do not mind historical fiction. I enjoy historical fiction. But when the historical facts are totally and utterly distorted, just for the sake of some dramatic twist – which, having watched the entire season, serves NO ACTUAL PURPOSE – this is a fucking insult. Let us break this down. The baby is a prince of France. A royal mistress, no matter how high in affection, cannot just REMOVE a prince of France. Liselotte is a princess. The hierarchy, while complicated by Princes of the blood and other titles and orders, goes like this:  King first, then Queen, then the dauphin and dauphin’s kids, then Philippe (as brother of the king), then Liselotte (as wife to brother of the king),  then children of Philippe. Maintenon, ranked as a marquise, is much lower on the totem pole – the Chevalier de Lorraine is a foreign prince, Delphine a duchesse, and BOTH rank higher than Maintenon. Versailles was all about RANK and PROTOCOL and to have an uppity marquise even approach a member of the royal family, much less REMOVE ONE, is so fucking beyond ridiculous that I have to use a telescope to find even a fucking glimmer of where it is. Louis would have gone absolutely ballistic. 

GET IN THE FUCKING SEA. 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

From the ridiculous to the streets of Paris. Colbert is on his soapbox, telling everyone that he is here to remind them of the shared vision that “binds us all together. And of the wonder of our king, Louis.” Cue unpressed looks from the peasant crowd. “You have chosen to question his authority. Our great king has only one purpose. To further the glory of France. But we all must make sacrifices just as he does. We must believe as he does. Dream as he does. Suffer as he does!” Murmurs from the crowd… they are not buying it. “We must trust in him as he trusts in us.” Bastien pipes up: “Why should we trust him? What, so he can steal our money more easily?” The crowd laughs but Colbert valiantly continues: “The king steals from no one! He raises taxes which he then returns to his people. Look at his gifts! Education. Roads. Clean water. Streets like glory!” “And poverty,” Bastien adds. Another peasant heckles, “Glory my arse!” And someone grabs an egg from a cart and hurls it at Colbert and suddenly there is a barrage of food while Colbert tries for calm. Food being thrown despite their complaints of being hungry in the streets… And the guards hustle Colbert away as the crowd turns nasty.

Back in Versailles with Louis telling Bossuet of Leopold’s offering of 80% of Spain, telling the priest he must go to Rome to ensure the support of the Vatican. Bossuet is kinda not really happy, but Louis tells him to remind the Pope where his loyalties should lie, and that the bastion of the Catholic church is France. Bossuet does not see how he can influence his Holiness, and Louis calmly says if he has any doubts, then Bossuet can remain at Versailles and draw up a list of replacements for his position. Lulz. Cue a weird look from Bontemps. Much ringing of hands from Bossuet. Meanwhile Marchal and Philippe are walking through the enfilades, Marchal wanting to tell Louis what they know but Philippe is all ‘nup, he will order you to stop because he thinks I’m just making this all up.’ They agree to wait a few days before telling.

won’t anyone rid me of this chattering wench?

Leopold is getting dressed and his niece Eleanor is chattering about Spanish words and the look on Leo’s face is ….😆 Eleanor now wants to go to Spain. Leo says they are going there, and she is all ‘yay! As long as I don’t meet the king – his portrait is atrocious’ And Leo is all ‘tough. You will meet him. Because you gonna marry him. SURPRISE’ Dear Lord, the look on Eleanor’s face. Her mother is on her way there, and they will leave tomorrow. “I refuse,” Eleanor says bravely, looking devastated. Leo slaps her, then gently says, “you will be Queen of Spain* (*Spoiler: she won’t). You should be grateful.”

Back with Louis walking through the salons, and Louvois reports a bunch of Austrian nobles have been spotted making their way to Spain. Why? A family gathering, perhaps? And why do families gather? Louis muses. Louvois – “for funerals.” Louis: “And weddings.”

Sophie returns to the salons, all clean and pretty again, and people are whispering, watching her circulate. She smiles and greets Liselotte, who is alone and sad and attached to a wall.

*historical note: again, what is it with the absence of people? Liselotte, as princess, has an entourage, ladies-in-waiting, plus courtiers hanging about wanting her favour and attention. She would not be clinging to a wall like a Nigel No-Friends.

Liselotte is pleased to see Sophie, who says she has been in a convent. Sophie asks what has happened since she last saw the pregnant Liselotte, and Liselotte says she had a son…. taken from her. “On whose orders?” Sophie asks. Liselotte just stares across the room, right at Maintenon, who is chatting happily to Delphine, the Chevalier in the background. “THE KING!” Bontemps announces, and Louis walks in with the queen, heading straight for a table where the historical signing is to be conducted. Leopold bows (wtf is that ��Louis” as he addresses the king of France?? Wrong.) They sit and prepare to sign, and Louis casually mentions Leo’s niece. “I would like her to stay here. We shall show her all the wonders of Versailles.” Ahhhhh, sneaky Louis. Leo is all “it’s a kind offer, but-” but Louis will have none of it. “My wife has conceived an affection for the princess. She would enjoy her company for a few months.” He looks at Eleanor – “-would that please you?” Damn right, it would. And now Leopold cannot refuse. Louis says she will be well looked after then sticks the knife right in: “who knows? We may even find her a husband.” So the camera pans the crowd, they sign the documents, Louis rises and gives a speech about being former enemies now friends, blood replaced by wine, now allies blah blah. Everyone claps as the music swells.

Festivities begin and the Chevalier is being some kind of circus ringleader, demanding a volunteer as he waves about a cane and some silk, the centre of attention. Has a joke about Philippe being missing, then Louvois’ belly, then Louis stands and volunteers. “A brave proposition from the king,” the Chevalier declares as Louis ties on the blindfold. “Olé” (lolwat) he then announces and Louis smiles and starts to blindly grope about the room as courtiers laugh and scatter. I see Maintenon deliberately putting herself in the way, but the Chevalier good-naturedly prods the king with his cane. The queen is watching, playing cards as Leopold hovers behind her, asking her for courage and then whispering something in her ear. As the king laughs and enjoys the game, the queen’s face is looking more panicky as Leo keeps whispering and Jebus, I bet my front teeth he is suggesting something along the lines of regicide… Even that is too much. Meanwhile Louis gropes about, still laughing and the doors behind him open and everyone stills, their faces dropping in shock and horror. Louis senses the mood, quickly removes the blindfold and we see Colbert, battered and bloody and with a smashed-in face. “My God.” Louis gasps. “Who did this to you?” Colbert swallows, then shakily gets out, “the people of France, sire.” Louis looks horrified.

The music swells and that is the end of Episode 2. UGH. What is in store for the next ep?

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Versailles S3, Ep2 – The one with Sophie’s return When we left our intrepid characters, Philippe had stupidly and against all sense, charged off on his own, in the night, without guards (yeah, this would never happen) to the Bastille to find out who this mysterious Duc de Sullun is.