#with klaus insisting on coming along for the ride

[averseunhinged]

wip wednesday! i am returned from the pits of lung ick and doom.

this is for @purplesigebert and @trueromantic1, but idk if this is remotely what you had in mind. it veered off to angstville a teensy bit along the way. it's also klaus/caroline/stefan in its soul, but stefan's hella dead. so.

it's sort of a sanctuary/the librarians/warehouse 13 theme fusion in which caroline is a research librarian in a sentient, extradimensional library. no magic babies. klaus still went to new orleans and got all grabby hands over it. the entire cast of tvd, minus caroline, died at the end of season 5 when the other side collapsed and took mystic falls with it.

He was silent on the stairs as they descended and remained that way as she lead him through the rabbit's warren of echoing hallways lined with closed, barred doors, part of the Library's natural defense system.

At the first checkpoint, she finally broke. “What do you want, Klaus? You did not donate enough to get an all-access pass just for a tour of the Bodleian from me. You don't need a tour of the Bodleian. You probably helped build the Bodleian.”

“I like the hair," he ignored her question. "The glasses. Very clever. Makes you look older. Authoritative.”

“And don't start with the flirting." She pulled her flexible ID chip in its retractable holder with more snap than necessary and held it out to the reader. A row of tiny lights turned green and the door unlocked with a muffled click. She opened the door and felt the distant brush of the Library greeting her, soothing despite its natural inclination to grumpiness and her own Original-induced temper. "I haven't just made myself look older. I'm seventy-four. I have more degrees than anyone can fit at the end of my name and a gaggle of grad students waiting for me. I have a warlock's extensive estate scheduled to begin arriving from Cumbria this afternoon," she opened the door, ushering Klaus through, "in distressingly soggy condition, because he was well over two hundred years old and absentminded about preservation."

He trailed after her at an easier pace than her own, forcing her to slow down if she didn't want to leave him behind. “That sounds like an interesting challenge.”

“Are you making small talk? What the hell, Klaus.”

"I—" he tilted his head toward her, as though to hear her better, but his arms were perfectly still at his sides, hands wooden, “—yes. I am attempting to draw you into conversation about your work."

Caroline once had to remove a dead witch from the Bodleian proper during Trinity reading week in nearly an hour of awkwardly harrowing Weekend at Bernie's reenactment. At one point, she'd had to hurl the body behind a display case to help a first year in crisis over a missing source article that had, nevertheless, been referenced in four subsequent sources. She'd still never been so relieved to see the last checkpoint before the entrance to the Library as she was with Klaus at her side.

She placed her hand in the center of the door's intricately carved medallion and waited for it to acknowledge her. The Library skimmed over Caroline's being, lazy from decades of connection and more than comfortable with her presence. It was less gentle with Klaus, if his sudden, pained breath was any indication, but the door warmed under her touch, a golden glow spreading molten into the runic array, seeping out to the edges until the door shimmered away to nothing, leaving the entrance of a circular, brass cage.

"Interesting," he murmured, discomfort brushed aside by fascination. She'd always enjoyed that about him. It had never been the promises and the gifts and the flattery that made her wish he hadn't been otherwise impossible. His curiosity, the variety of interests and depth of knowledge, had been like no-one she'd ever known. She remembered every conversation she'd ever had with him, a claim that couldn't be shared with anyone else she'd known briefly nearly a century prior.

She stepped into the cage and beckoned him with a hand to her left side. "Coming?"

"What is this, exactly?" he questioned, even though he did as she'd indicated.

"A lift," she answered and swung the curved gate around, completing the circle, "of sorts. Or so we refer to it. It's really a gateway, but people get a little nervous when you start talking about dimensional travel."

Any further questioning was cut off when the brass cage sparked with the same light as the door had, spreading until its occupants were engulfed. Caroline breathed through the lurching tremble of distortion and the squeezing yank in every direction, the terrifying weightlessness of momentarily ceasing to exist in time or space.

When reality reasserted itself, Klaus was crouched, one hand on the ground, gasping. Caroline stood primly, hands clasped in front of her.

"Welcome to the Library," she stated, impassive as any bored tour guide. "The Bodleian entrance was created during World War II, the result of a casual agreement between adversaries to avoid destroying key universities."

Klaus gritted out her name as he stood, unsteady and even paler than typical, veins darkening around his eyes.

Caroline ignored him, staring straight ahead. "I've learned things, gone places, met people even your millennium couldn't have shown you." She unfolded her hand to gesture around in a smooth, practiced motion to the rotunda's warm brass and red-toned wood structure, its mercurial filigree detailing and shifting aurora of the dome above. "Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm still that little girl you tried to tempt away into the woods."

That barb was one that clawed into him. "It was not like that." He looked away from her, eyes darting around the room without truly seeing, in an attempt to control his temper. "Don't make it sound so tawdry." Caroline slowly turned her entire body to stare at him, unimpressed. He shut his eyes for a moment, longer than a blink, but not long enough to give the impression that she wasn't his entire focus. He made a small, beseeching move towards her, and his eyes were as intense as they'd always been, begging some question she’d never known the answer to. "That afternoon was the happiest I can remember being."

When she laughed, it was an ugly sound. "Good for you. If you'll follow me, I'm afraid you'll have to endure a morning of dull administrative tasks. You are, of course, welcome to leave at any time."

“I'm sorry, Caroline!” he called out after her. He sounded strained and desperate. She halted, lungs seizing and abdomen clenching. “I'm sorry they died.”

Every day. She missed them every day. She missed Bonnie's tenacity. Her quiet grace. Elena's wild, foolish bravery and deep well of compassion. She missed Matt's honesty. His so human morality. Enzo and his halfway-to-crazy attempts to help her grow up, whose death broke her heart far more than she would have expected. She missed her mom's steady practicality. Those moments of kindness bridging the gap between them that never quite went away. Her father, Tyler. They hadn't been very good at loving her in the end, but they had loved her. That’s what she remembered.

She even missed Damon. Sometimes. A little bit. Maybe.

“I'm sorry Stefan died,” he continued, and that one hurt.

Stefan. Stefan. Stefan of the gentle touches and soft, encouraging words. The late-night-early-morning whispers to each other in her bed, forehead to forehead, cuddled up as close as two people could be. Who preferred being the little spoon and understood how afraid she was to love him, because he was just as afraid to love her back. After all, they knew the people they loved would always, always leave them.

Her best friend. Her almost lover. She took care of him, even when he thought she shouldn't. He protected her, even when it was from himself.

Last one standing was a dog shit bonfire of a title to hold.

And he was sorry.

“Don't talk about Stefan.” She walked away from him. Her heels sounded like bullets as they struck the floor. “You don't have the right.”

[bumblesimagines]

Forgotten Fairytale

Part 3

Request: Yes or No

~

“We have two announcements today. First, we have a new student, (Y/N). As some of you may know, (Y/N) is a dragon-vampire hybrid and I expect each and everyone of you to treat him with respect. To whom it may concern, he is not our next monster. We’ve recently encountered a Night Hag.” Alaric announced to the remaining student body that had chosen not to leave. You kept your arms crossed, making eye contact with Hope. You gave her a triumphant smirk and got an eye roll in return.

“A Night Hag is a malevolent spirit trapped on the astral plane that can only interact with us through dreams. In this case, nightmares.” Alaric explained, murmurs spreading through the students. 

“So, like, Freddy Kruger?” 

“Well, in the sense that what happens to you in your dreams seems to happen to you in real life, yes. But, the good news is we’re safe, so long as we stay awake.” Alaric explained, nodding to the questions. He noticed tension rise and cleared his throat. 

“We’ve lined up more evacuation shuttles. They should be running all afternoon, so please, for those who don’t want to stay and fight, take advantage of them.” Alaric licked his lips. You gave a small snort, biting your bottom lip. Ryan had mentioned a possible run in with monsters but he seemed confident in your abilities to protect yourself. Once you had your father back, you’d make sure he faced some monsters of his own. You stood once Alaric dismissed everyone, noticing him motion for you to come over. With a deep sigh, you walked towards the stage he was on. 

“I’ve got your classes sorted out. You’ll be taking typical high school courses, plus some of the supernatural courses we typically give to everyone. You’ll have some vampire classes and finally, a one-on-one with Dorian to talk about dragons. Dorian insisted on it. I would like you to speak with Emma, she’s one of our teachers and also the counselor for those who need one.” Alaric explained, handing you a paper. You gave it a once over before looking up at him.

“And why would I need to speak with a counselor? I’m perfectly fine.” 

“Considering you walked out on Dorian after a mention of your father, I don’t think you’re fine.” Alaric gave a tight lipped smile, patting your arm as he walked by. You blew a raspberry, looking back down at the paper. 

“Oh, and by the way, these uniforms are horrendous.” You called to him, stepping off the stage and making brief eye contact with Hope as she spoke to Landon. 

“I have to agree with you on the uniforms being horrendous. We look like preppy golf kids.” You looked at the guy walking beside you. 

“All we’re missing are the pants and the golf course.” You grinned, chuckling as the guy nodded and laughed along. 

“I’m Kaleb, by the way. I’m a vampire, so I guess that means I’ll be seeing you around.” Kaleb gave a grin. You hummed, looking forward.

“Man, you and those other dudes got lucky. You don’t have to take these exams.”

“But, we do have to deal with the bullshit this school brings.” You stopped by a water fountain, leaning down and drinking from it. Kaleb leaned against the wall, arms crossing.

“Actually, I think that Landon guy was the one who brought the monsters with him. Things went to shit when he got here and-”

“It’s not Landons fault. The knife had been at this school for god knows how long.” You leaned up, wiping your mouth as your gaze fell on Rafael. 

“Well, like I said, we gotta deal with the bullshit the school brings.”

“And to do that, we have to be a team. We can’t insult or push each other away.” Rafael said, glancing between you and Kaleb. You let out a small snort, grinning as you shook your head. 

“Doesn’t that go against your nature? That’s all mutts know how to do. That and throw temper tantrums.” Kaleb snickered at your words. Rafael sighed, eyes shutting briefly in an attempt to stay calm and relaxed.

“You don’t have to worry about me, puppy. I can be a good teammate as long as you stay out of my way. Same goes for you.” You glanced at Kaleb before turning around and walking away. You walked to your first class, stepping inside and getting ready for a boring day of school.

~~~~~~~~~~

You ran your fingers over the books on the shelves, grabbing one and pulling it out of the shelf. You stepped out of the library and found a nice cushion seat, opening the book and flipping through the pages. You stopped on the one you had been looking for. 

Klaus Mikaelson: The Great Evil

Your eyes swept over the writing, searching for any mention of Hope. She was powerful but she hadn’t become a full tribrid yet. You paused, hearing footsteps coming from the hallway along with someone humming softly.

“Dr. Saltzman!”

“”Dr. Saltzman, I have changed my mind. I’ve decided to take you up on your offer and get the hell out with every other sane person here.””

“No, actually, I took your advice and I stayed busy, and I think I found something.” You lifted your head at Landon’s words, hearing their footsteps head back down the hall. You stood up from your seat, turning your head and watching them turn a corner. You looked down at the book in your hands, gently biting your bottom lip. 

“I definitely didn’t sign up for this… but I might as well enjoy the ride.” You looked back up, heading down the hall and entering the small library where Landon, Hope, and Alaric were at. You leaned against the railing, watching them speak.

“Why would a monster need to disguise itself as another monster? The Oneiroi sounds freaky enough.” Hope said, glancing between Landon and Alaric.

“Because if we knew what it actually was..”

“We’d know how to stop it.” Alaric finished for him, nodding. 

“Hope, kiss him for me.” Alaric said, turning and heading towards the stairs. He looked up, noticing you. He slowed down, head tilting.

“Need something, (Y/N)?” Alaric asked, heading up the stairs. You shook your head, fingers drumming against the book.

“Just eavesdropping.” You shrugged. Alaric let out a small laugh, nodding as he walked by.

“Don’t think you’re off my radar, (Y/N).” Hope called, arms crossing as she cocked a brow at you. 

“I’m honored you care so much about me, Red. It’s real sweet, though I think you should be more invested in your boytoy. Keep your eye on this one, Discount Jughead. She seems to have… a wandering eye. You shouldn’t forget who her mother was in love with.” You gave them a wink, turning around. You stepped towards a bookshelf, sliding the book into the shelf. 

“What about your family? What were they like?” Hope asked, approaching the stairs. You turned to look at her. 

“My mother gave my father a gift and then she left. At least she didn’t die because of me.” You leaned forward slightly as she got closer. Hope stopped a few feet from you, jaw clenching. 

“You know nothing about me.”

“I could say the same, Red. I might’ve been a dick when I was younger but atleast I never tried to kill someone who loves me and raised me. You had a mother who was invested in you and loved you. It would’ve never crossed my mind to hurt my father, no matter how pissed I was.” You sneered, watching her facade begin to crumble. Hope remained silent for a few passing minutes. 

“We should probably tell the others about our new discovery.” Landon piped up softly. Hope turned her head towards him, nodding.

“Yeah, I.. I have a plan.” Hope breathed out, looking back at you.

“Making enemies on your first day is the stupidest idea you’ve probably come up with.” Hope said, brushing past you. Landon slowly walked up the stairs, awkwardly approaching you.

“Hope is a.. She’s a good person-”

“You don’t have to defend her when she’s not around, My Chemical Romance.” You stared at him, giving a small eye roll. 

“Why are you such a dick?”

“Well, my dad told me my mom was a bit of a bitch. I probably got it from her.” You shrugged, turning around and leaving the library. You heard Landon catch up with you.

“I was in the foster system for most of my life. I can understand some of your feelings regarding not knowing your mom and-”

“Listen, Gerard Way, I’m not interested in being your friend. I’ve been taught and shown that humans are the least trustworthy creatures on this planet. It’s better to be alone than to trust a human. They’re like chihuahuas. They think they’re at the top when they’re actually at the bottom and I’d rather not have my life in the hands of one.” You looked at him.

“Fair comparison.” Landon mumbled. “But, some humans are good and they mean well-”

“We can have this conversation after I take a nap.” You entered the lounge area where Hope had gathered the rest of the boys. Hope explained that the Night Hag was actually an Oneiroi. 

“I know it sounds bad, but now that we know what the creature is, we can fight it.”

“How the hell are we supposed to kill a dream demon?”

“Leave that to me. But since I can’t fall asleep without compromising the location of the urn, I need someone else to pull it out of the dream plane and into our waking reality.” Hope explained, looking over everyone. 

“So, Freddy Krueger, like I said.” Another vampire, MG, pointed out.

“And how the hell are we supposed to do that?” Rafael asked, looking back at Hope.

“By entering the dream plane, getting a hold of it, and waking yourself up.” You answered, shrugging lightly.

“Just like in the movies.” MG nodded in agreement to your response. Kaleb hummed, nodding. 

“Is it too late to get on the evacuation bus?” Kaleb asked, tilting his head as you snorted. Hope gave a sympathetic look.

“No. I mean, I’m not gonna ask all of you to stay for this, it has to be your choice.” Hope said, silence following. Landon quickly stood up.

“I’m not leaving unless Hope does.” Landon said. Hope didn’t seem exactly thrilled as she gave a small hum. She looked at Rafael, brows raised in question.

“I’m not leaving Landon behind.” 

“You two are very codependent.” You mumbled, hearing Kaleb snicker and nod. 

“I’m a founding member of the Super Squad-”

“The fuck is a ‘Super Squad’?”

“-So I can’t bail.” MG stood up from his seat with a supporting smile. The four of them turned towards you and Kaleb.

“Y’all are gonna get yourselves killed.” Kaleb said, looking at Hope. 

“But if MG stays, I stay.” He added with a sigh, looking at you. 

“This reeks of drama and chaos so, I’m definitely staying and watching this go down.” You grinned, shrugging lightly. “But I’m not gonna be a member of this.. ‘Super Squad’ shit you have going on.” 

“In that case, it’s naptime.” Hope said, giving a small nod. 

“I’ll go speak with Dr. Saltzman. Get set up in the gym. Bring blankets, pillows, and anything else that might help you fall asleep.” Hope walked past them and Landon quickly followed. 

“Codependency is a big problem here, huh?” You shook your head, glancing at Kaleb. You grabbed one of the pillows off the couch and turned, heading towards the gym. You watched the others bring the necessary stuff, Hope and Landon entering while deep in what seemed like an argument. 

“You are gonna sleep with us, right?” Kaleb asked, noticing you hadn't made a small bed like they had.

“No.” You shook your head, arms crossing.

“What do you mean, no?” Landon frowned, brows furrowing.

“You don’t want to see me wake up from a nightmare. Accidental shifting and accidental arson isn’t pretty.” You shrugged lightly. Hope hummed.

“We don’t need a confused dragon causing an accident.” Hope looked at the rest of the guys. They lied down in a circle, slowly falling asleep one by one. Hope stepped towards you, closely watching each of them. 

“It was a shit move to bring up your mom. I’ve been on edge since dad disappeared.” You said quietly, ignoring the surprised look Hope gave you. 

“Sorry for that.” You walked away from her, careful to be quiet so as to not wake them up. You noticed each of the boys becoming more twitchy, faces contorted in confusion or fear as the hours began to pass. 

“How come you aren’t tired?” Hope asked softly. 

“You think I could sleep with my only family gone?” You looked at her with raised brows. Hope nodded, looking down to see that Rafael, MG, and Kaleb had stopped twitching as much.

“It’s almost time.” Hope turned, quickly leaving the gym. You gently toyed with your necklace, licking your lips and turning to face the boys when they all suddenly awoke. They stood and began talking all at once, making you huff in annoyance.

“Calm down, Hope’s handling it.” 

“What? What the hell-” Landon was cut off by Oneiroi and Hope crashing through one of the doors. Hope quickly got up, blowing some hair out of her face.

“Stay back, I got this.” She called, running forward and tackling the demon before promptly getting choked. 

“Yeah, she’s totally got this.” You mumbled, picking up two wooden pieces that had belonged to the now broken doors. You approached her, stabbing the pieces through the demons’ eyes. Hope let out a gasp for breath as the demon disappeared into a cloud.

“Thank you.” She coughed, rubbing her throat. 

“Next time, be prepared.” You stood, letting Landon help her up as Alaric rushed in with his crossbow. You tossed the wood aside, turning and walking past Alaric. You thought back on the urn and Hope mentioning she knew where it was. Befriending her to find it would be a problem in itself.

“(Y/N)!” Alaric called after you, quickly jogging after you. You turned to face him, raising a brow.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for helping Hope. How’d you know how to kill it?” Alaric asked.

“Like I said, dragons don’t just horde inanimate objects. I like to read as a pastime and most of the time, the books have to do with the supernatural.” You answered, shrugging lightly. Alaric nodded, reaching out and gently touching your arm.

“Thank you.. I’m sure Hope appreciates it.” Alaric gave a small smile. You nodded, licking your lips as Alaric turned and went to check on everyone. He passed by Hope who gave him a small smile and nod. She turned her head to look at you, arms gently wrapping around herself. She slowly approached you, gaze on the ground. 

“I know you could’ve just let me get hurt but.. Thank you for helping me. I know we got off on a terrible foot so, I hope we can be a bit more civil with each other.” 

“We’ll see.”

[phoenixes-and-wizards]

tua headcanon (amusement park day!!):

it takes them approximately an hour to leave, and it's all because of klaus who keeps on adding all sorts of ridiculous things to their itinerary

and they don't plan on doing so, but somehow they all end up wearing something blue, so yay team

"are we there yet" "i sWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEBODY ASKS THAT ONE MORE TIME--"

"ARE WE THERE YET!!!!!" "jesus, klaus, what the fuck is wrong with you?" "you didn't say exclamatory sentences weren't allowed, allison"

ben just rolls his eyes and mutters "lord give me strength" under his breath

most of the time, luther's too big to go on the rides so the duty of guarding their stuff falls to him instead

after the third ride, ben notices the sad slope of luther's shoulders and opts to keep his brother company instead. when luther tells him to "go on ahead, i'm fine," ben just gives him a Look™️ and plants his butt into the seat next to his brother, making a big show of feeling pukey and pulling out the books he'd brought for the long ride

throughout the day, they make a contest out of trying to make ben smile. obviously this ben isn't as cheery as their ben, but he's still ben, if that makes any sense, and that's good enough for all six of them

surprisingly, it's five who insists on taking pictures everywhere. when they catch him buying a photo album from one of the many souvenir shops scattered around the park, none of them say a word

vanya is surprisingly hyperactive, darting here and there like a squirrel all hyped up on sugar. they don't blame her; their father never took her on "family vacations" and even if he did, it was only so someone could watch the room while they frolicked on the beach

when diego dares klaus to ride the fastest roller coaster in the park--twice!!!--in exchange for shotgun privileges later, klaus all-but drags diego onto the ride and throws his hands up the entire time. diego ends up vomiting all over klaus' shoes as a result

when they stop for lunch, allison insists that they take a proper family photo. while they wait for their food, allison edits it properly and immediately sets it as her wallpaper

the haunted house is wide enough that even luther can enter, and they all laugh when diego scares five and he teleports to the end of the hallway with a strangled yelp

"very funny diego" "oh i assure you it was, five"

ben smirks but hurriedly covers it because he wants vanya--who is slowly shaping up to be his favorite sibling--to win

there's a particularly hilarious photo of diego with his mouth wide open on the jungle jam, water spraying his entire face, and his siblings decide to get one copy each for blackmail material

they end up getting matching ugly headbands from the souvenir store. vanya and klaus wear theirs with pride throughout the park, and even though diego makes a big show of calling it ugly, he doesn't take his off either

ben spends the entire day getting to know his siblings. for some reason, he already knows a couple of the things they tell him even before they finish their sentences; an unshakable feeling that goes all the way to his bones. it's slightly unsettling, but also easy to forget when he sees the way allison's eyes light up when he somehow remembers that she's allergic to mangoes and peaches

allison practically falls over herself with delight when somebody's dog trots over to her and demands a belly rub

all of them end up being pretty attached to the dog, so discussions to have a team pet are brought up once more

"save it for the team meetings, guys" "you're the only one who actually listens to those meetings, luther" "we'll be talking about getting a dog--" "say no more”

they all tease vanya when one of the guards mistake her for a kid and almost forbids her to ride on the second tallest roller coaster in the park

luther jokingly asks her if she'd like a ride on his shoulders, and is even more surprised when she agrees, and that's how they end up walking around the park with vanya perched atop luther like a particularly huge five-year-old

five buys her a balloon to add to the joke, but soon, klaus starts complaining that he wants one as well, so five buys another and forks it over: a large bear cub that klaus names "davey" and doesn't let it out of his sight for the rest of the day

diego manages to capture a snapshot of vanya smearing chocolate sauce all over ben's cheek. he doesn't tell anyone else, but he keeps it in his wallet for a good amount of time and calls it his lucky charm

the ben contest ends when klaus swan-dives into one of the fountains, and when one of the guards try to call him out, klaus simply runs away and pretends he's a completely different person when he rejoins them, and it's so stupid but ben can't recall the last time anyone was ever this silly and fun around him, and so he snorts, and klaus immediately starts to crow because "ha, that counts!!! in your face, diego!"

they stay for the fireworks show, and when it finally starts, all seven of them sprawl out on the grass, crane their necks back, and cheer along with the rest of the crowd at the pretty lights

after a few seconds, ben realizes something’s up with klaus because his eyes have gone all glassy and not-quite-there, and when he lays a hand on his brother’s shoulder, klaus grabs his shirt collar none-too-gently before he slowly comes back to the present 

five recognizes all the signs of ptsd because he’s had them before, and before klaus can protest, he eases his brother’s head down into his lap and cards his fingers through klaus’ curly hair until he calms down. he’s still a bit jumpy every time a particularly loud one pops overhead, but he’s definitely more relaxed now that there’s something familiar to ground him

allison decides it’s been a long day for everyone after that, and no one disagrees because the sooner they get home, the sooner they can make cocoa for klaus under the pretense of being unable to sleep themselves

there's a pretty intense game of rock-paper-scissors in the parking lot over who gets to drive because all of them are bone-tired and want to nap

when luther loses, everyone mysteriously gets re-energized, and soon enough, they're singing cheesy 2000s pop songs at the top of their lungs

five keeps rolling his eyes and saying "i can just teleport home, you know" but klaus latches onto his right arm and vanya his left, and so he stays. they're still holding onto him when they fall asleep later, their heads pillowed on his shoulders, and although he makes a big show of displeasure at being used as a human stuffed toy, he rests his head against klaus' and only moves again when they're turning into their street

the next day at breakfast, klaus is still wearing the stupid headband

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Hii! I love your blog! I was wondering if request are still open can you do yan!mikaelson siblings x platonic!reader

Yandere General Mikaelson Siblings (platonic)

The Mikaelsons are bad enough to deal with individually but together they're so much worse. If they're not fueling each other's own obsession or behavior then they're constantly trying to one up one another.

You won't know what privacy is after the Mikaelsons have "forced" welcomed you into the family. Whatever you alone time you once had will be nonexistent. All your time will be filled with one or all the Mikaelsons vying for your attention; whether it be Klaus insisting on painting you or just having you sit while he vents, or Elijah reading either to you or with you. Or even Rebekah dragging you out shopping with her or intruding on whatever your doing only to complain about what the others have gotten up to, or dealing with Kol trying to get you to tag along to cause whatever trouble he's aiming to stir up.

Klaus is by far the worst amongst the Mikaelson siblings. All he wants is to keep you safe and with the family, with him. If he had it his way he would lock you away and throw out the key but Rebekahand Elijah call that being immoral and cruel. You're the most important thing to Klaus, he will do anything to ensure nothing happens to you. You'll be the only one to calm his angry tantrums and talk him down from harming any of his siblings. He has such a soft spot for you, all the siblings do, but you could literally get away with anything when it comes to Klaus. You could do no wrong in his eyes unless you were to try and leave him or the family of course, but even then he could never bring himself to ever physically harm you.

Klaus is beyond possessive, delusional and clingy, he demands your constant time and attention. He is known for his very temperamental behavior and he hates to share you with anyone, especially his siblings. But he's highly hypocritical all the same, expecting his siblings to share or give up their own time with you for him but he wouldn't do the same for them, going as far as throwing a hissy fit if ever asked to.

Rebekah is also possessive and clingy, she doesn't necessarily need your attention 24/7 as long as she can be in your presence and stay close to you, she doesn't really mind. She's just as protective as her brother's, as well as petty, if someone rubs her the wrong way they're either dead or she'll surely get revenge against them. Anyone close to you is no exception.

Rebekah is another one who can be much more tolerable then Kol and Klaus. She's more empathetic and understanding of the controlling behavior of mostly Klaus and how he will go to all ends to make sure he has you by his side and as much as that annoys her, she would do the same given the chance. She loves you just as much as her brothers and she's willing to go above and beyond to keep you safe and happy. Your happiness means the world to her, she may not have gotten the chance at her own but she'll be damned if you suffer the same fate. She'll fight for your happiness and do anything to ensure it but all she asks is that you let her stay by your side and be a part of you life.

Even though she herself has been willing, more times then not, to give everything up for love, she won't stand for you doing so. She's more than willing to accompany you to live a somewhat normal, human life but when it comes to love, that's a whole other situation. Of course she wants you happy and she does but she can't accept the thought of you abandoning her for someone else, or the thought of you being happy without her. You make her happy and give her the love she's always yearned for and she's not letting someone's else have that, whether they be friends or love interests. She won't let you leave her behind.

Elijah is far more passive when it comes to you, he knows and is understanding of how you'll react to being taken and brought into the family. Klaus, Kol and Rebekah will be far more impatient to your distress but Elijah will give you the time to adjust, keeping his younger siblings at bay all the while. You'll probably grow closer to him specifically because of this fact but that won't sit well with the others, especially Klaus.

Elijah is by the far the easiest to tolerate. He's always the one to lend his ear to you whenever you have something on your mind about. He'll actually listen to your words of needing space or time for yourself, but you'll only have a limited amount of free time and he's always close by in case anything may go awry. Elijah is the most fair out of his siblings but that doesn't mean that he isn't selfish for your time and attention much like his siblings, he's just much better at getting your willingness to spend time with him then his siblings are.

Even though he is much calmer and empathetic then his siblings, at least regarding Kol and Klaus, he can still be just as cunning, ruthless and murderous as them, but with the added patience in tow. He's just as obsessive but he's more protective then anything else. He just wants to keep you safe and happy. He'll be less likely to compel you, only doing so if it's in your best interest. But your needs will always come first for Elijah, he's not afraid to go against his own kin especially if it's for you. But then again, he isn't opposed to sacrificing your own thoughts and feelings if it ensures you staying with the family, whether that's what you want or not.

Kol is the definition of unpredictable, he's a loose canon waiting to go off, especially when it comes to you. He loves when you're along for the ride to cause whatever chaos he plans to ensue, whether your willing or not, it's his way of bonding and spending quality time with you. He has absolute no shame about killing anyone in regards to you, he'll do whatever he wants as long as he gets to keep you with him.

Kol isn't one for sharing, non of the Mikaelsons are save for Elijah, it's his least favorite thing about you being part of the family. He will encourage you to run off with him and cause whatever trouble the two of you can get into, hell he may even just up and take you away from his siblings without hesitation or a care in the world. He doesn't care too much for your's or other's thoughts and feelings especially in regards to his entitled time both to you and with you.

He is possessive and delusional. He's another one who demands your constant time and attention. He'll often go on killing sprees for you, feeding from anyone and everyone who has so much as looked at or have breathed the same air as you. Sometimes he'll even bring you back souvenirs from his murderous endeavors. He expects you to praise him for his efforts and accept his gifts. He's just showing you how far he's willing to go for you. Rebekah and Elijah are the ones who will usually clean up after him and dispose of his 'gifts'.

Kol and Klaus are the ones who won't bat an eye at killing anyone close to you, let alone your own family. They both go out of their way to get rid of anyone who has interacted with you, feeling the need to prove that they're so much better than any of them.

Klaus and Kol will be the ones to push for you to be turned right away but Rebekah and Elijah will push harder for you to be, at the very least, a certain age so that you can still live a relatively normal human life for the time being until the set date. Of course if anything detrimental were to happen they would change you in a heart beat. Klaus and Kol may even conspire together or separately to change you quickly.

The longer you're human the more the Mikaelsons will be protective and hover around you 24/7. You and your safety are the upmost importance to them, they aren't going to take any risks with you involved.

All they want is for you to be with them and be a family, they're all more then willing to compel you to be willing of and accepting to the family. All the siblings in their own ways will sacrifice your true happiness and what you really want by compelling you, whether they know it or not. At the end of the day they are selfish, immortal beings who want what they want and they will do anything and everything to both get and keep it.

If Esther and Mikael ever take any interest in you or were the ones to actually bring you into the family in the first place, the siblings won't tolerate them trying to get close to you whatsoever. After what they've had to go through with their own parents they aren't going to put you through the same suffering and fear that they've had to live with and runaway from for centuries. The siblings will only be fueld all the more to protect you and to finally get rid of their birth givers for once and for all.

No one will be safe from the wrath of the Mikaelson siblings. If they feel threatened by someone then they will gladly kill that person and use any and all necessary actions to keep you safe and with them. You'll only ever be safe with your new family. They'll keep you safe and happy, at least what they consider happy. But you'll never have to fret, you're family will always be there for you, even if they are the only ones you have left.

Any and all friends and love interests will be seen as threats to the family. They don't want you being close with anyone except your new family. Your already existing family will be killed or compelled to forget about you. The siblings may even use their compulsion to have your family go against each other, breaking your family from the inside out.

They'll make sure to take very good care of you from now on, you won't ever have to worry about being abandoned or left to fend for yourself. You'll have four very capable family members to stay by your side, loving and protecting you for the rest of your soon to be immortal life.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

Waiting For A Star To Fall

Nikolai x Selina

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: minor angst and fluff, oral sex (m/f receiving), brief thigh riding, penetration, use of sex toys, language gif by @vousnavezrienvu

A/N: Selina and Nikolai's first date turns into more than they ever imagined. 

This took a stupid amount of time to write and became a pure labor of love. Thank you @magic-multicolored-miracle and @neuroticpuppy for being with me the ENTIRE way.  And @bisexualnathanyoung and @forenschik for being my guinea pig

September 1992

Selina’s phone rang, but Sunny beat her to it as he threw himself over the arm of the futon in her minuscule apartment.  His elbow rammed into the wall, and Selina insisted he deserved it.

“Hello?” 

There was a momentary pause.  Selina stood cross-armed with a frown on her face.

“I don't recall anyone with that name living here.  It's just my sister, myself, and the guy from the sixth floor who was murdered in 1985.” 

“SUNNY!!” 

He waved her off,  “Why would I be fucking with you?  You called here.  My sister didn't give you this number, she's a virtual nun!  She's not one to take up with strange foreign men.”

Selina launched herself at her little brother.  He held the cordless phone above his head and levitated the ten feet towards the ceiling.  His legs curled up underneath so she couldn't grab him by the ankle. 

“UNFAIR!!”  

“EVOLUTIONARY ADVANTAGE!” he shouted and stuck out his tongue.  “You were saying?”

“You aren't evolution!  You're a science experiment that was implanted in our mother by The Men In Black.”

“Low blow.” Sunny flipped Selina off and went back to the caller.  “I mean that may or may not be the woman you ravished lakeside.  I know my sister is her own woman.  You scandalized her though.  I think you made her feel.. feelings.  Rude.” 

“NICKLAUS ELTON KOSTAS GIVE ME MY PHONE!”

He held up his hand.  “HEY! I can speak Russian you know.”  And then Sunny did for the next several minutes occasionally glancing down at his sister.  

Finally, he came back to the couch and held out the receiver to Selina.  “It's for you.  He's very perturbed, and Slavic.  And sexy.”

She yanked the phone from her brother and flipped him off.  “Klaus should've left you in 1989.”  Her voice softened and her cheeks flushed as she finally answered, “Hi.” 

Sunny hovered a few feet off the ground as Selina blabbered on in flirtatious Russian.  He sneered and poked fun at the way his sister wound her finger up in her hair and then released it.  When that didn't work, craving her attention, he began to hold an imaginary conversation with an exaggerated Russian accent.  

Selina threw the first thing she could at her little brother.  The remote control sailed across the room at Sunny who simply held up his hand, palm towards his sister.  The remote hung in the air like he did.  Then he narrowed his eyes which caused the object to lower to the floor. Selina sighed and returned to the conversation. 

“Wait, you wanna take me out?”  A pause.  “You don't have to repay me.  I'm just practicing for when I'm ethically obligated to save someone.” Pause. “Arsonists and thieves too!”  Selina smiled wide as the flames licked her cheeks and ears now.  “How attractive you are doesn't alter Samaritan laws, Nikolai.” 

Sunny rolled his eyes flabbergasted at how his sister’s entire demeanor changed the moment she began to speak to the Russian from Sway Lake.  She was being coy.  Dare he say seductive as she ignored everything he managed to garner attention.  

Sunny had always been the object of his sister’s devotion.  EVERYONE’S devotion really.  As the youngest of eight “children,” it was his birthright.  Now here he was, slowly becoming Selina’s third favorite person.  Not a single soul, no matter how rakish or good in bed, would ever replace Leon. 

“Sure.  Yeah, I’d like that.”  Selina had a dopey grin on her face.  “Tonight?!  I mean can you even get reservations?”  “Trust you?  I don't know why I should, but I guess I will.  I'll meet you there. Do svidaniya, Nik.. KOLYA.”  

Selina hung up the phone and threw a pillow this time at Sunny.  He crashed to the floor having been caught off guard and rubbed his ass.  

“Just be HUMAN FOR FIVE MINUTES.” 

“I AM HUMAN!! I'M JUST.. Super.” 

“Super egotistical.”

“I can't help that the love of our parents turned me into a badass.” 

“I just pray Reginald never finds you.  You're the success to his failure with Klaus.”  Selina meant that last bit with her entire being.  “Now get out, I've a date tonight.” 

---

“Nikolai, I can't run that fast in these boots!”  Selina yelled as she desperately tried to catch up to her date.  She could hear a fast-approaching man behind her yelling obscenities in a dialect she wasn't familiar with.  Bulgarian or Lithuanian maybe. 

He stopped at the corner.  “We are wearing the same ones, look how fast I'm moving.  I think it must be the several rum and cokes you had.  Come,” Nikolai held out his hand, “we will go faster together.” 

Selina rolled her eyes but linked her hand with his.  Nikolai took off, and she started to laugh.  The exhilaration and adrenaline coursed through her veins.  Never in a million years would she have imagined dining and ditching.  

Nik was so calm as he spoke to the waiter in the dialect they were being bellowed at.  He never blinked.  Then the waiter nodded, took something from him and walked away.  Nikolai stood and clasped Selina’s hand and began to make his way towards the door. 

“Nikolai, shouldn't you pay?” 

There was a slight shake to his head.  He never looked back, just kept going with Selina tight to his side.  They made it to the door before they both had to give chase. 

Selina swung out into the street.  She waved and whistled loudly at an oncoming taxi.  To her shock, it stopped to pull over for them.  Nik was incredulous but had no choice except join his date as she yanked him inside the cab.  

“Bleecker and Christopher, please,” she instructed the taxi driver.  Selina turned to the Russian beside her,  “Are we going to break the law EVERY time we're together?”  

“Yes.  Like a new Bonnie and Clyde.”  Nikolai lifted the hand Selina hadn't realized he was still holding.  His lips brushed the back of it, “Without being shot to death by the FBI.” 

Selina's heart pounded in her ears.  She couldn't remember seeing anyone look attractive in the color orange.  Yet here was the man beside her, currently with a look she could only describe as voracious, pulling it off.  Her cheeks grew hot under the weight of his stare. 

“What?!” came out in an embarrassing giggle. 

“I cannot look at something beautiful?” 

“You don't have to lay it on THAT thick.  I'm taking you back to my apartment already.” 

“I'm not trying to trick you, Lina.  I think you are beautiful. I almost blew my own mission.  Especially under the moonlight.  You made me forget what I was doing.  Your willingness to allow me to do unspeakable things to your body helped,” he teased.  

Selina decided to play coy as the taxi stopped in front of her building.  “Let's see what happens under this month’s full moon.” 

---

Selina and Nikolai on the fire escape outside her living room window.  Selina a few beers in and a few steps above.  Nikolai nursing a beer of his own while settled between her knees.  His arm under her knee to snake around her calf.  His fingers mindlessly stroked her ankle to the naked foot dangling in his lap. 

They had fallen into a contented silence after nearly two hours of talking.  Sharing stories in Russian and English.  Nik’s curiosity about the photos and books and records she owned was endless.  Selina had a hard time keeping up and answering as he flitted along from keepsake to keepsake. 

Yes, that's Elton John.  Somehow he and her parents were old friends.  He dedicated “Your Song” to her parents every concert they went to.  Selina could never figure out why. 

The somehow dower, yet smiling man, with a giant cigar in his mouth that tossed Selina in the air while little Sunny hung from his back was her Godfather, Tom.  He had been a CIA agent that now lived in a cabin with his beautiful French wife, Ella.  That's where she had been  staying up at Sway Lake.  Yes he did always look like a lion with a thorn in his paw, but he was soft and kind and loving.  

The Lady Godiva on the horse was her mother, Honey, back when she frequented Studio 54.  Selina recalled her hair rivaled only Cher’s at that stage.  Raven colored and long enough to hide her naked body (barely) as she sat side saddle on the white mare.  Her head resting against the back of an equally nude man. Her one arm wrapped around his thin waist. 

Nope, Nik was totally not imagining things.  The man holding the reins did strongly resemble her brother and himself.  That was HER papa, Leon. His hair in perfectly wild curls to his shoulders. His face full of confidence and sex. 

The questions began to wear Selina down.  No one had ever been this inquisitive or interested in her life.  Her family.  Her.  The endless questions, punctuated by making out until their lips chapped, about her personally.  Then, between an anecdote about Luther and rollerskating and tongues fighting for dominance they stopped.  

Now Nikolai lifted Selina’s foot and kissed the top of it.  Then his mouth made its way up her shin.  When he reached her knee, Nik turned abruptly to face the woman behind him.  He set the bottle down on the windowsill before kneeling on the stairs.  He slid the hem of her dress up, fingers hooked into the fabric of her panties to tug them off.  He kissed her inner thigh before letting his tongue trace painfully slow along her sex. 

Selina could only grasp the railing.  Her fingers curved around the cold metal and she cried out in pleasure as Nikolai slipped his tongue inside of her.  

It slid in and out before eventually discovering her clit.  His hands on her ass so that he could pull her onto his face.  Encourage her to ride him as his tongue flicked in circles and then snaked in and out. 

Selina started to lose herself.  Her free hand tugged at Nik’s hair while her hips bucked and the spark grew.  She twitched and cried out louder as his mouth and tongue worked faster.  She opened her eyes to look down at the man keen to make her cum. 

Almost as if he could feel her eyes on him, Nikolai looked up at Selina.  She felt strange, shameless and used her own thumb to wipe away what was on his lips.  She sucked on it briefly then grabbed Nik by the shirt towards her.  Wanting for a kiss.  

Selina revelled in the way she tasted on his lips and inside her own mouth.  Like beer and bitterness.  She had never done that before Nikolai and the lake.  She wanted to do it again, and every time he went down on her.  She wanted to put him in her mouth.  To suck and lick and make him bend and writhe.  

She could, she thought, now.  Selina pushed Nik away at arms length meaning to have him sit on the stairs so she could give him head.  Her fingers deft at the belt buckle and buttons on his pants. She laughed full of nerves as he fumbled, THE OVERCONFIDENT RUSSIAN FUMBLED!! 

Nikolai fumbled with the buttons on his dress shirt before he finally came loose.  He yanked his pants and boxers over his hips and held his cock in his hand. Nik parted her legs and started to push inside, but Selina held up her hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Do you not want me to have sex with you?”  He was more shocked than angry. 

Selina ran her hands over his chest and stomach then up around his neck.  “I very much want to fuck you.” Nikolai huffed, but Selina continued, “I mean I've seen you naked and can't get over how fucking sexy you are.”  

“Then what is wrong?  Not here?  Maybe this is not comfortable for you.  We’ll go inside.”  He stood and held out his hand.

“It's probably the same as fucking on a bunch of sticks and acorns.”

Nikolai sniffed again at the use of the word “fucking.”  “Then what is wrong?”

Selina stood and climbed in through the windows.  Her date followed.  “There's an international health crisis.   A incurable disease that passes mostly via sex and fluids?” she shouted from her room as she rummaged through drawers. 

“Do you mean The..AIDS?  Is that not for,” he chose his words carefully, “The gay men?” 

Selina could tell Nik was more confused than anything.  She heard this all the time at the clinic where she volunteered. “Or you could be bisexual or pansexual like my brothers.  Contract it from a man and pass it to a female partner.”  

She appeared in the living room now with a small foil package.  “Or an IV drug user, also like my brother, and get it that way.” 

Selina started to unwrap the condom without noticing that Nikolai was standing completely nude in her living room.  “This is usually where most guys bail.  They're not interested in protection or rubbers.  Mostly just a pump and..” she looked up and paused in her tracks. She was distracted by his body and neck and eyes and jawline.  “Christ on a cracker.”

“What?”  he chuckled.  

“Sorry! I know. I know.  AIDS talk is a bummer.  I get this close to just.. sitting on a dick and I panic?  Everyone in my family got the sexual confidence memo but me.” 

“Why are you panicking now?  You did not freak out by Sway Lake.”  

Nikolai couldn't help the teasing in his voice.  He reached out for Selina to draw her close to his body.  His knee inside of her thighs just like that night.  

Now he unzipped and helped her out of the dress.  “I think it's very sexy when you talk like a nurse. So smart and commanding.”  His hands ran over her bare back and down to her ass as he brushed his nose along her neck up to her ear.  He nipped at the lobe, “That can be very erotic putting a condom on.” 

“Nik,” Selina could only squeak out.  Her body involuntarily started to rock back and forth. 

“It's Kolya.  In Russian we use end of names,” he breathed in her ear.  “Like your sister, Vanya.   Little Ivan.”

“Ok,” Selina didn't want to hear about Vanya right now.  Or Klaus.  Or Diego.  Instead she got down on her knees.  The condom was still in her hand as she used the other to hold his erection towards her mouth.

“Lina, what are you doing?”  

She looked up through her bangs, her tongue darted out to trace around the head of the cock.  “Sucking your dick.  What else does it look like?”  She took it fully in her mouth, letting the tip hit the back of her throat.  

“Fuck,” he mumbled in Russian.  “Dorogoya, stop.”  

Selina sat back with a popping sound, “Did I do it wrong?  I'm like, the LEAST experienced person in this family.”

“You don't have to be an expert.  A blow job is a blow job, we can practice another time.  I want to be inside of you.  And I have been very patient.”

Selina stood, but Nikolai lifted her completely off the ground.  She wrapped her arms and legs around him as they stumbled towards the futon.  Mouths and tongues at war as Nik sat her down on the cushions.  Selina held eye contact as she expertly unrolled the condom down the length of his cock.  She kissed his stomach as he noticeably shuddered.  

Nikolai let his fingers caress Selina’s bottom lip before crawling on top of her.  She still held his erection in her hand as he threw one of her legs over his shoulder.  He held her bent knee to the side as she taunted him with her sex.  Guiding it just inside before digging her nails into his ass so that he buried himself to the hilt. 

Selina clawed at his back as Nik started to undulate.  Over and over, further inside each time.  Their bodies rocked wildly as Selina’s muscles started to shake from the position she was in.  She clung to him desperately as he searched for her neck and chest with his lips.  

Nikolai’s mouth devoured one of her breasts.  He sucked and bit at Selina’s nipple.  She cried out in shock at the sensation.  The sound egged him on to go harder.  

“So you like that too?” His voice raspy in her cleavage. His suckling and biting increased.  She mewled in reply. 

Selina was worried that it wasn't working.  That she couldn't or wouldn't orgasm.  Not like she did when he went down on her.  How she hung from the cliff.  

She WAS being pleasured.  Nikolai was hitting the right spots, but she was so nervous about what she looked like under the lamplight.  His rhythm and pounding, it was pounding, into her was unmatched.  She cried out with exaggeration to indicate she had cum hoping he wouldn't notice. 

“Fuck!” he cried out and propped himself up by the back of the futon.  

Nik’s body arched while his hips made circular motion.  He spasmed and shuddered as his body immediately went into shut down mode.  His face covered in a sheen of sweat as he pressed his forehead into Selina’s neck then pecked it a few times. 

“I.. am sorry, Lina.” There was disappointment in the Russian’s voice as he held the condom so he could pull out.

“For what?”   Her arms and legs still enclosed around his back and hips.  

“You did not.. cum,” Nik’s eyes searched the woman below him.  “I should have tried better.  I just was so turned on by you.”  He swept the damp hair away from her forehead. 

“You were fine!  It was good.  Really good.  I got in my own head is all.  Maybe next time?” 

“You mean later tonight,” he winked then pecked the tip of her nose. “I won't leave until you are honestly screaming my name.”  There were four dimples Selina counted in his smile.  

“Then we’ll sleep on it first.” 

---- 

Selina tip toed out to the kitchen both starved and thirsty.  She thought about Nikolai's playful threat about not leaving until she got off and chuckled to herself.  Then she peered around the wall to see him asleep on the futon.  His mouth slightly agape and one hand under his cheek. 

Would it be so bad with him around all the time? She thought as she cracked open a beer.  To not be alone when she came home from a shift?  How nice it would be to have conversations with someone not “related” in some form or another. 

And Nikolai was interested in Selina.  He still dodged questions about himself, answering straightforwardly with no details.  She knew it was because he didn't trust her just yet.  It wasn't like she didn't have secrets of her own, but the more open she COULD be, the more she knew Nik would reciprocate.  It had to be lonely with only one confidante. 

Selina turned around and jumped a mile in the air.  “Motherfucker!”

Nikolai was casually leaning against the doorway watching her contemplate life and drinking a beer.  “She IS very sexy,” he replied with a cheeky grin. 

Selina rolled her eyes and walked towards her kitchen table to keep distance between herself and the Russian.  As if she were daring him to chase her.  Nik made her feel so contradictory.  In control and submissive.  Safe yet dangerous.  Lustful.  

There was no opposite to that, she realized.  The light from her small kitchen window illuminated the lines and definition of his chest and shoulders.  The collarbone that met in the middle and moved up into his thick neck with its Adam's Apple bobbing along as he swallowed.  A sharp intake of breath before he clenched his jaw.  

Selina’s heart pumped into her ears as he casually reached across the table for her, but she ducked out of the way.  His eyebrows knit together in confusion as they danced around for only a few moments until she allowed him to grab her by the elbow.  Her world stood still as he took her in his arms, back to his chest. 

“I have been thinking, rypka, about our little challenge,” Nikolai settled one hand on her breast which he massaged lightly paying close attention to her nipple.  His mouth somewhere behind her ear as his other hand dropped to her sex. 

A finger found its way inside of Selina and she lost the air in her lungs.  It curved and hooked before making a lazy swirl around her clit.  “Already?” was all she managed.  Her nails closed around his wrist and urged him on. 

“I would like to try a different way of having sex with you.  I just don't want you to be offended.”  

Nik let go of Selina and placed her arms on the tabletop.  He spread her hands out; bent her forward so that her top half was pressed into the wood surface.  Then he grabbed her hips so that her ass was flush with his hardened cock.

“No anal,” she moaned.  “Wear a condom,” another instruction. “Bathroom shelf.” She grazed against him. 

“If you insist,” Nikolai replied in Russian. “I will obey.”  

There was a playful slap on Selina’s ass, and she felt herself swell and throb.  A first time for everything. If she enjoyed it, wet from the sting of being struck, it was.. genetic.  

Her brothers, father, even Honey mentioned the occasional pain got them going.  Klaus and Sunny with varying degrees of punishment.  She knew from eavesdropping or snooping that her parents preferred it light: spanking or hair pulling.  Maybe she did as well.  Too vanilla to ask.  Inexperienced to what she wanted from a partner. 

“Do it again?” Selina tried not to sound desperate as Nikolai tore into the condom wrapper.  She almost presented herself to him as she felt the smooth surface on her cheek.

“What?” he was distracted.  There was a strange snap of latex as he adjusted it.  Then taunted Selina with the head of his cock.  He rubbed it along her slit, marveling at how easy it was to slide in. 

“Hitting me?” she asked timidly. 

“Why would I hit you?” Nikolai was offended.  His hand flat on Selina's back as it traveled to her neck and hair.  His fingers combed and intertwined with her dark waves then lightly tugged. 

Selina braced herself as he lost himself up to the hilt.  Nikolai's pelvis met her ass and pulled out to just the tip.  He repeated this until he gained friction.  Her head and hips were his anchor so he could thrust quicker. Their bodies make a clapping noise. 

“My ass.  Like you did.  Hit it.”  She was willing to try anything.  Wanted to cum for him.  She knew she could, she did it alone all the time.

“Really?” Nik was surprised.  His pace was even faster and the table started to creak under the motion.  “Did you like it then?” His hand cracked her flesh but only slightly harder than before.  

Selina cried out.  Her sex ached and was swollen.  Nikolai did it one more time, but she could tell it wasn't really his thing.  Sensed that it bothered him to be serious about erotic corporal punishment.  Playing was different.  His hand did tighten in her hair to bend her head back. 

“I don't know,” was all he mumbled in Russian.  

The hand that spanked Selina now encompassed her own on the table.  He bent to kiss her shoulder as he found his breakneck rhythm. 

“Then just go harder,” Selina found her voice now.  She relaxed and allowed her body to take how deeply he penetrated her.  His cock at that angle hitting a spot she found mythical. 

Nikolai railed into Selina.  The table and their bodies shook almost violently as he pounded into her.  His shaft lost until she felt a pressure in her womb.  He stood straight and clutched at the thick of her hips.  Her curves she inherited from her mother.  They cushioned her as his body and cock pleased her.  That spark and wave rolled over Selina like on the couch.  

They weren't quiet.  Both forgetting about neighbors as Selina mewled and screamed out. Nikolai growled and uttered obscenities in his first language.  They were certain this would be it, that Selina would orgasm and Nik would feel satisfied that he could please her.  

Instead, his body violently shuddered as he exploded inside the condom.  His muscles and adrenaline gave way to Nik almost collapsing on top of Selina.  He faltered prior to catching her up in his arms again.  He held her and whispered apologies to her as they kissed. 

“Kolya,” she whispered back.  “It's fine.  I was really close.  We have other times to  experiment.”  Selina swept his damp curls back. 

Nikolai leaned into her hand, “You want to keep being with me?” 

“That's what dating is,” she laughed under her breath. “I like being with you.  I wanna know more about YOU though.  Come on,” Selina took his hand.  “Let's actually go to bed and talk.”

---

Selina reached blindly for Nikolai after her alarm went off.  Sitting up, she slammed the clock and turned to see an empty space on the side of the bed he had fallen asleep on. 

She knew he wasn't obligated to be there when she woke up.  This time waking up alone left a weird knot in her stomach.  

“Fuck,” she tossed herself back and threw a pillow over her head to scream.  Her arms and legs failed around like a toddler throwing a fit. 

How long was enough before she called him?  Would he just disappear now? Klaus called it, funnily enough, ghosting.  Why did everything Nik say tread a weird line between romantic and calculating?  And why did Selina want him to keep saying things, anything at all, to her? 

How does someone know they're falling in love? How did Honey and Leon?  Klaus and Dave.  Allison and Ray.  Diego and Patch or Lila.  Vanya and Sissy.  Uncle Tom and Aunt Ella.  Poor Luther.

Selina’s family had a knack for impulsive behavior when it came to attraction.  Her mom moved to a foreign country with a man she had slept with for money.  Klaus fought in Vietnam for a closeted man that kissed him once. Sunny went home with, to Selina’s chagrin, anyone who showered him with the simplest of affection. And Selina had laid down and spread her legs for a Russian committing arson.  

“Lina you are awake?” Nikolai asked from the other room. 

She threw a bathrobe on and wandered into the kitchen.  “You came back.”

Nik was reaching above her tiny sink for coffee mugs and plates.  “Did you not want me to?”

He set the dishes out and opened a box to pull out some pastries and bagels.  Then poured coffee and handed Selina the cup. 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” he offered her the plate.  “Greek, Italian and Russian,” a satisfied grin flashed across his face.

“Well that was kind of you,” she smiled back and helped herself to a cannoli and Russian tea cookie.  “Yes, I wanted you to come back. I think I kinda always do?” she questioned her own intentions with a mouthful of pastry. 

Nik leaned over and kissed Selina.  His tongue darted out to taste the sweet ricotta filling on her lips; she reciprocated.  Her own slipping to the back of his mouth to catch him off guard. Nik steadied himself on her hips. 

There was a muddled sound of pleasure when Selina’s fingers unbuttoned Nikolai’s shirt in expert time.  Their mouths never separated as she went to work on his belt and pants as he struggled to take his boots off. 

“This was not my plan for this morning,” Nik breathed heavily in Russian. 

“I'm just really interested in us reaching that goal,” Selina helped him out of his clothes.  

Kissing again, they could feel their lips start to chap already as Selina began backing Nik into her room until he hit the foot of her bed.  As he leaned back, she climbed on his lap.  Her hands seized his cock and settled it in the folds of her sex.  Selina rolled her hips.

“What are you doing!?” Nikolai could only cry out. Astonished by the lack of a condom.  

“I'm sick of being the safe one,” she raised up on her knees so that she was above him.  Her hands on his face and neck as she snaked her tongue to the back of his teeth again.  

Selina shoved him back on the bed and threw off her robe.  She straddled Nikolai like a woman possessed, took his hands and placed them on her breasts as she rode him.  Still not penetrated.

Nik lost himself for a moment.  He massaged the breasts.  One hand teased a nipple, pinched it,  before sitting up to devour it.  Selina held him to her chest, clung to the hair on the back of his head and pulled in her excitement.  Her fingers found the gnarly scar and she rocked harder on his lap. 

“I want you to fuck me until I cum.” 

Nikolai looked up and held her back, “It is not fucking at this point.  Not for me, Lina.  Also you must not compromise your principles for anyone.  I do not want this for you.”  

Selina groaned with exasperation.  Her walls were swollen and slick and wanting.  “It's not a compromise, Nik.  Everyone jumps in my family and trusts they’ll fly while I stand on the cliff pacing back and forth.” 

He blinked, mouth just slightly agape.  That face.  Selina knew that face.  She loved that face.  She loved this face. “Lina, you are extraordinary.  You don't need to have a big life just yet.  It will happen.” 

“Kolya,” her words softer now as she relaxed, “I love you.”

“Do you?!” a dopey grin spread across Nikolai's face.  “It is the same for me I think?  I've never done this, you know.  “That I love you.”  

He kissed Selina before turning under her to rummage around the nightstand drawer. “Now we will go back to the way you prefer?  If I need to I will get..” he stopped and held something aloft.  Now his smile and dimples were devilish. 

He studied it before making it buzz with a push of a button.  “Pocket Rocket?! Lina, are you secretly naughty?" he giggled. 

"I don't think it's a secret to you anymore,” she reached for it.  Her cheeks turned red. 

"Who do you fantasize about when you use it?" Nikolai held it to Selina’s breasts.  He watched with fascination as her nipples hardened.  He let it travel over her stomach and back up. 

Selina moaned and twisted. "You're just trying to get me to say you, but I've had it since I turned twenty.  So mostly you know.. Keanu Reeves..”  

“But not me?" his eyebrow cocked.  Nikolai traced the vibrator along her hips and over her pelvic bone.  

"Once in a while,” her words came out breathless.

"As a Russian, I'm already superior at using it because rocket?” he waggled his brows now.  “We can now?  With you on top?”

The toy found her slit and slid inside easily.  It buzzed and made the air rush out of Selina’s lungs.  She dug her nails into Nikolai's chest while he started to use the vibrator to have sex with her.  Found a pattern of in and out while she bucked and writhed.  

Selina reached back to anchor herself on one of Nik’s thighs. It allowed him better access to her clit.  He Marveled at the way she agonized under his hand as it manipulated her.  His free hand on her ass to coax her faster as SHE undulated now as he had done on the couch.  Her hips danced separately from her upper half.

Nikolai rolled Selina on her back all of a sudden.  Her hair hung off the bed as he propped up on an elbow.  He worked the vibrator in circles.  In and out of her slick walls before going after the clit.  

Selina got tangled up in the sheets as she felt a warmth spread from her stomach to her sex.  Her thighs started to tighten around Nik's hand as she thrust her hips off the bed.  Eyes clamped shut as the first wave washed over her body.  Neck exposed for him to suck and bite which urged another orgasm to burn through her.  

Nikolai was stunned by her silence.  Selina’s mouth opened in a silent cry as she came a third time in succession.  This last time she managed a strangled scream of his name which he swallowed with a kiss.  

A shiver ran through Selina while she relaxed.  Her fingers traced patterns along Nikolai's bicep as her eyes closed.  Cumming was like a sedative.  Nikolai cupping her face and drawing it to his for a lazy kiss was a sedative.  The rain she had no idea was pouring in buckets outside her window was also a sedative.  

The vibrator continued buzzing until it didn't.  The room grew quiet save for the breaths that came from Nik’s nose.  Still heavy with his still hardened bulge pressed into Selina’s hip.  There was no move to get on top of her.  To have sex with her so he, too, could cum.  She started to idly jerk him off. 

“Lina stop,” he gently took her hand.  “This was about you, not me.  It'll go away eventually.  Like I will,” he said that last bit with a challenge in his voice.  

Selina curled on her side towards Nikolai.  “Or maybe don't go?” 

“Ty khochesh', chtoby ya ostalsya?” You want me to stay?

“Po krayney mere, yeshche odno polnoluniye.”

At least one more full moon.

Tag list: @elliethesuperfruitlover @super-unpredictable98 @messengeronthemoon @nightmonsters @070188 @rob-private @firstpersonnarrator @ghouls-buddy @frogs--are--bitches @maerenee930 @duck-noises @bwritesstuff @sylvertyger @a-ghoulish-tale @icecoffeegirl @iamsexytrash @clumsyramen @falloutby @inspiremeandsetmefree @philodenmonstera @seancekitsch @the-freckled-luba @violetrainbow412-blog

[innately-pretentious]

Dating Klaus Hargreeves ❤️✨

A/N I’m back lads, and yes this is very long and super messy! Ik I’m super behind but I literally just finished the newest season of TUA and was feeling super inspired. Here are some headcanons for our favourite mess.

You probably ran into each other during one of his late night drug binges, finding him lying on the ground in your local park whilst you were clearing you head, his eyes were moving around, observing the stars in the night sky.

As you slowly approached him you became increasingly concerned, discovering that he was not only watching the stars but also yelling at the blank space next to him. You almost didn’t approach him, writing him off as another high person riding a wild trip, however, something told you to go and check up on him.

When you got next to him, interrupting his seemingly one-sided conversation, you asked him if he was alright.

Turning to you and muttering out a slightly coherent ‘yeah’, you insisted he sit and talk to you for a while, to unload whatever has got him so stressed out. You had nowhere to be and neither did he, that was how he found himself spilling the details of his extremely unique life to a total stranger until the early hours of the morning.

Nothing could prepare you for what he was about to unload, but when he is finished telling you about his family, his father, his powers, Ben and every other intimate detail he could think of, you knew you couldn’t just leave him here. After minimal persuasion on your part you drag him back to your apartment, making him some tea, putting him in the shower and getting him into bed.

Nobody had ever treated him this well, not even his own family. Now this stranger was showing him the greatest display of hospitality, he dozed off with tears in his eyes.

You watch him from across the room, this was probably the first good sleep he has had in a while. You didn’t know what drew you to this strange boy, but you were determined to help him.

He pretty much lived with you on and off for the next few months, hanging out with you multiple times a week. He discovered (with the help of Ben) his growing feelings for you, but he never wanted to act on them.

He is extremely shy initially with showing any signs of attraction towards you. Having been put down by his family for most of his life, he truly believes he will just eventually disappoint you. Ben has been bugging him to make a move for months, it is the first time he has ever seen his usually-confident brother act bashful. You would find yourself often initiating intimate acts or even talking about dating one another, due to his fear of dragging you into his mess of a life.

His insecurities do seem to fade as your relationship progresses, however, you often have to reassure him that his best is more than enough. You will always be there to pick up the pieces as long as he is willing to help.

However, when you do finally get together and comfortable, he is not shy about his displays of affection in any way! You often find that he always has to be touching you in some way. Placing his hand of your thigh while sitting next to each other, draping his arm around your shoulder, leaning into you when watching a movie, reaching for you in the middle of the night, half asleep. You almost wonder if he does it subconsciously. Pulling you into him for a quick kiss, even if it is in public. Not that you mind, you’re just glad he finally let his walls down for you.

Although he dislikes it in the moment, you make a point not to enable him. Instead you honestly ask him about his addictions and try to understand it, nobody has ever done this before. One of the proudest moments is finding him on your doorstep in the early hours of the morning, holding a fresh packet in his hand.

‘Take them, I’m gonna do them and I really don’t want to.’

You teared up at how far he has come, spending the night tangled in each others limbs, telling him how proud you were as he snuggled further into your waist.

Being there for him when his father dies, even though it really doesn’t take much of a toll on him, you tag along to make sure. When you finally meet his other siblings, you truly understand the reasons behind his addiction, often being pushed aside or ignored by his family members. The people that are supposed to care about him most, it takes a lot for you to hold your tongue.

Klaus can be quite a homebody when he wants to be, one of his favourite activities is just hanging around the mansion with you.

He loves finding you in the kitchen, drawn in by the smell of you making something delicious. He will come up behind you, arms snaking around your waist, head tucked into the crook of your neck.

He also loves to play his music loud, so the two of you can scream the lyrics to your favourite songs, dancing around the kitchen like idiots whilst simultaneously trying to cook a meal is a skill you have definitely acquired during your relationship.

Ben is completely in awe of you being able to steer Klaus in such a positive direction, he cannot be prouder of his brother. You often get Klaus to be the middle man in your conversations, even though the two of you have never met face to face, you honestly believe he is one of your close friends.

He introduces you to the clubbing scene, taking you out dancing every other weekend! You notice that he believes getting ready to go out is just as much of the fun, you both take turns picking out each others outfits. Blaring your favourite songs as you paint his nails or he does your eyeliner, leaving your bedroom in a massive mess that you would worry about tomorrow morning.

Dancing together in a packed nightclub, giggling as he attempts to spin you round, sneaking kisses here and there until the lights come on.

When Sunday comes around, you are both allowed to spend the day lazing in bed. Now Klaus is sober, he sometimes finds himself waking up before you. Finding you tucked under his arm in the morning is a dream, brushing your hair gently out of your face as he watches the sun pour in from a crack in the curtain. Nothing could be more blissful.

Occasionally you will wake up alone in bed, these days always make you slightly uneasy. Deep down you know Klaus is probably just downstairs making coffee or running a bath for the two of you, a small part of you can’t help but be scared he has relapsed.

He pretends he doesn’t notice, but his heart aches knowing that you still worry about him, even after all this time.

You always catch him staring at you, he is not really subtle about it either, even if you are concentrating on an important task.

‘Klaus I actually have to work this time!’

‘Hey don’t blame me! I can’t help it if you’re the best thing to look at.”

When you find out about the impending apocalypse, you make a pact to stick together til the end, desperate to get as much time together as possible. During this time he becomes even more protective, never straying too far away from you, even following you into different rooms of to need to go grab something. If any precarious situation arises, he pushes you back, using himself as a barrier between you and the action.

With Five botching the whole time-travel thing, you both find yourself in the 1960s.

When he first arrived in the alley with Ben, he began frantically looking for you, becoming almost hysterical as he felt really alone for the first time in a long time. It took almost everything he had not to raid the local liquor shop to just forget about his predicament for just a moment. Ben is the voice of reason for him.

‘Fuck off Ben, can’t I just feel numb for once, I’ve lost her alright?!’

‘This is the last thing she would have wanted and you know it.’

It’s not until a year later you see each other again. You were revisiting the town where you first arrived in the 60s, picking up some new clothes and planning to get back on the road. Klaus, on his way to the diner for a quick bite to eat could spot you anywhere.

You were shocked when you heard a bang on the shop window, looking up and finding the same hazel eyes you would never forget, Klaus.

He bust through the shop doors, not caring that he knocked over a few clothing racks as he bounded towards you, jumping into your arms. He smelt the same, cigarette smoke masked with fresh cologne.

Landing on the floor together, laughing with tears streaming down your face, you just hold onto each other. (The shopkeeper is yelling, but this is more important than some scattered clothes!)

Having lunch together and catching up on everything you had been up to. He was impressed with you living on the road, finding various jobs and travelling across America. Although the thought of you going out there alone made his stomach flip, scared something bad might happen. When he tells you about ‘Destiny’s Children’ you wish you could say you were surprised, but you really expected nothing less. Of course Klaus would do something as extravagant as this.

That night is one of the best of your relationship. Making up for a whole year of lost time, he holds you closer, your entire body on top of his, head resting on his chest as he lazily rubs circles on your back.

When you are about to pass out you hear soft sobs coming from under you. Sitting up and holding his face in your hands, you reassure him that you’re here, you’re ok, you’re not going anywhere and you’re going to be alright. He grips onto you tighter and sobs into your shoulder, overwhelmed with emotions about how you finally managed to find each other again.

The clinginess does not end there, a year is a long time! Refusing to let go of you waist when you try to get up, always having his hand in yours, picking you up and spinning you round in the pool etc.

He takes full advantage of shopping with you in the 60s, with the fashion being almost as loud as he is. Watching him dance in and out of the racks of clothing, throwing various garments for you to try on. He loves to sneak into your changing room to ‘help’ you change into your next outfit…

When Ben is gone, you are the sole person he goes to for comfort. Holding onto each other and reminiscing about the good memories you all shared. After that day promising not to cry over him anymore, instead you would happily remember everything the three of you went through, looking back at his life positively.

[justatiredghost]

January Rain by the Sea Part 9

In a life of misery, the ocean is the only place Klaus has ever felt any sense of peace or belonging. He finds himself drawn here whenever it all gets to be too much, which is where he meets someone new. For MerMay

-

Dave walked this time. Klaus spotted him coming down the beach and raised his bottle of whiskey in greeting, suddenly realizing just how excited he was to see him. It took him by surprise, honestly. It was unlike him to be so eager to see anyone, so he tried not to think about that while he waited for Dave to walk down the pier and sit down beside him.

“Sorry, got started without you,” Klaus said, handing over the bottle to him as he got comfortable.

“Guess I better catch up then,” Dave said, accepting it and taking a quick drink..

“So, going it by land today?” Klaus asked.

“What can I say? I like to mix things up,” Dave shrugged, handing the bottle back.

“Great,” Klaus said, setting the bottle aside while trying to look as casual as possible. “Good news for me.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because this—”

Klaus grabbed Dave’s arm and pulled him off the pier with him and into the water with a victorious laugh. Dave surfaced and immediately spit a stream of water into Klaus’ face in revenge, grinning at him. With an offended gasp, Klaus splashed him back and things just devolved even further into play-fighting from there.

“Truce, truce,” Dave said eventually, holding his hands up.

“Okay,” Klaus said warily, pausing to catch his breath.

“I have something I want to try. Trust me?”

Klaus thought about it. He really did. But how could he say no when Dave was looking at him with eyes that were so big and blue.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Go ahead.”

With a grin, Dave dove underwater. There was a long moment where he wondered if he’d just left, but then he felt something brush against his legs. He tried not to reflexively kick out, especially when he felt hands wrap around his ankles and start pulling. He didn’t pull him under, though, and instead pulled him along the surface, tail tickling occasionally and Klaus had to wonder when he’d even changed.

“You good?” Dave called, swimming backwards as he popped up to check on him.

“Don’t stop,” Klaus exclaimed. “Go faster!”

He grinned at the sound of Dave’s laugh as he sped up. It was a surprisingly smooth ride, Dave making sure to keep him above the surface, and he just leaned back and enjoyed the ride as they raced back and forth, slowly drifting further out to sea.

When he finally came to a stop with a smug look at the success of his plan, Klaus took the opportunity to playfully shove his head back underwater. He didn’t hold him there of course, he didn’t want to drown him, but then, he was pretty sure Dave could lift them both out of the water easily if he needed to. Dave came up laughing, splashing at Klaus, but froze almost immediately, looking back over his shoulder towards shore.

“What is it?” Klaus asked.

They were silent for a moment when Klaus picked it up too; raised voices and the occasional raucous laughter. Straining his eyes, he spotted a handful of people headed down to his pier. He didn’t like the idea of anyone else invading here. Dave spun back around, betrayal on his face, and it broke Klaus’ heart.

“Did you tell them?”

“Tell who what?” Klaus asked, looking around in confusion asa if he could find the answer out here.

“Anyone,” Dave said in frustration. “About me.”

“No,” Klaus said, taken aback. “Of course I didn’t. Who am I gonna tell?”

As if they sensed the conversation and wanted to get him in trouble, one of the people from shore yelled out Klaus’ name. The look Dave gave him wasn’t so much angry as it was sad, and somehow that made it worse.

“I didn’t bring them here,” Klaus insisted. “Maybe they followed me. You really think I want people crawling all over my beach? Someone needs to tell them that this is private property.”

Dave dove into the water and was gone in an instant, leaving him to tread water. He looked at the shore, far enough away that it was unlikely he’d make it back before exhaustion set in and he drowned. He glanced around, but the open ocean was clear with nothing to be seen. Klaus sighed.

“Fuck. How do I get myself into these situations?”

[lochrannn]

Fanfic: Premiere Threads

Read on AO3

Thanks @pepperf for the prompt “You look amazing tonight”!

I also snuck in “Dance with me.” which came in with a choice of prompts from @ohrackham. Thanks as well!

Summary:

The Hargreeves + Lila head to LA for a film premiere.

Low-level hijinks ensue.

Lila gets off her plane at LAX after sitting in the damn metal tube for nearly eight hours. It was only supposed to be a six hour flight but they were delayed on the runway and sat around for nearly an hour with nothing happening. Lila will admit that she's not the most patient of people at the best of times and she had got used to travelling by briefcase, taking her anywhere in an instant. On top of that, she is just absolutely over the vastness of this country. Having to fly six hours to get from one coast to the other is just excessive.

Yeah, she's not in the best of moods when she lifts her heavy bag and then her rolling suitcase off the luggage belt, but does take a little bit of satisfaction from the fact she accidentally (no really, she didn't mean to) hits the guy who roughly pushed past her to get to the belt first in the knee with the corner of her suitcase.

It doesn't take Lila too long to get from baggage collection to the arrival terminal and when she walks out through the sliding doors, she's a little surprised that she can't spot Diego right away waiting for her.

She'd texted him about the delay and he had her flight number, so she wonders why he's not around yet, she doubts he'd be willing to spend any more time than necessary in an airport. In fact, knowing that, she'd told him it wouldn't be necessary for him to pick her up, she could just got a taxi to their hotel, but he had insisted again when she talked to him on the phone yesterday.

He has been in a weird mood these past few days and with the upcoming premiere of the widely anticipated documentary about The Umbrella Academy, she can understand why.

Diego flew out to LA together with Klaus a few days before Lila as she had a job to finish up, but Klaus and Diego wanted some time to spend with Allison and Claire as they've become deeply fond of their little niece.

Luther, Vanya, and Five are scheduled to arrive tomorrow only just making it in time for the premiere. Vanya is tied up with some orchestra thing and both Luther and Five offered to travel with her. Lila was relieved that nobody asked why she wouldn't travel with the others. She loves her new family, she really does, but being trapped on a plain with all of them and having to go through airports and security checks with the three oddballs would have tested her admittedly limited patience a little too much.

As she's annoyingly too short to effectively look over the crowd that's caused a throng just outside the arrivals door, she starts to wander about weaving past hugging families and drivers with signs held up for their clients, and finally spots Diego sitting on a chair at the side of the hall.

She immediately notices three things about him. The first are the large, square, plastic-y orange rimmed sunglasses, which absolutely clash with the grey t-shirt and black jeans he's wearing. The second are the people with him; Klaus on the outside lounging in his chair, also wearing sunglasses, between the two brothers someone who can only be Allison, also in sunglasses, but the actress has apparently wisely decided to make herself as unrecognisable as possible and is wearing a big sweatshirt with a hood up over her head. The third thing Lila notices are the large take-away coffee cups they're all holding and she comes to the conclusion that they must be desperately hung-over.

The three of them spot her before she gets to them and get up, throw away their cups, while Klaus picks up a take-away tray with what must be a fourth coffee they got for Lila, and start making their way over to her. That's when she notices the thing she should have probably spotted right away.

There's an obvious difference to Diego and she feels her jaw drop a little when she notices. He's a little unkempt and his usual designer stubble could do with some tidying up, but all that is inconsequential compared to the glinting flashes that catch her eye on both his earlobes.

He's wearing earrings.

She's about to comment on that, but then she's swallowed up in their madness.

Allison and Klaus are arguing good-naturedly as they come up to her. Allison takes the rolling suitcase from Lila, Diego takes her bag and swings it over his shoulder before heavily putting his free arm around her shoulders and tucking her into his side, while Klaus takes one of her now free hands, kisses it dramatically and then fills it with the remaining cardboard coffee cup.

All the while they do not stop squabbling to properly greet her, instead Diego has now got involved, siding with whoever he seems to think is winning.

“Long night?” she eventually directs at Diego, as the four of them make their way out to the taxi rank.

“Ugh, don't ask!” Diego answers with an exasperated chuckle.

“No, I'm definitely going to!” Lila counters with a pointed look at the side of his head.

“Fair,” Diego says as he lets go of her to put her bag in the taxi they've caught.

Once all her luggage is in the boot, they squeeze into the cab, Diego, Allison and herself on the back bench and Klaus in the front next to the driver.

Allison calls out an address that sounds vaguely familiar to Lila and they drive off.

“Where are we headed?” she asks no one in particular.

“My place,” Allison answers and then Diego adds, “All my stuff is still there.”

Lila nods at that and is about to say something else, when Klaus turns around in his seat and looks at her with a sly smirk, eyes peaking over the rim of his shades, and says teasingly, “So you're not gonna ask about the...?”, he flicks his own earlobe by way of explanation, and then waggles his eyebrows at Diego.

“Why? 's anything different?” Lila deadpans and hears Diego huff next to her, though whether it's in amusement or indignation she's not quite sure.

“Aw, we thought you'd have at least some opinion on the makeover we gave Crocodile Dundee over here. He's been fidgety all morning, wondering what you'll make of it!” Klaus almost whines and earns himself a grumbled “Fuck off, Klaus!” from Diego, “I think he looks dashing. Like a pirate!” Klaus chuckles and earns himself a more emphatic, “Fuck off, Klaus!” and “Leave him alone!” from Allison.

Lila decides that, firstly, there's no point in even attempting to match their energy, so she lets go of the idea and relaxes a little at the thought that she can just let herself be swept along as she's far too tired to come up with a better plan herself, and secondly, she's going to ask the only halfway rational adult in this cab, bar herself and hopefully the driver, to explain the situation. So she turns to Allison and asks, “You gave him the earring?”

Allison takes off her sunglasses, revealing dark shadows under her eyes, and Lila ends up feeling sympathetic even though she knows that tired look is very much self-inflicted.

“I know I shouldn't say this but he was asking for it. Like actually, literally!” Allison begins explaining with an exasperated sigh. “He said he'd always wanted earrings, that the only thing holding him back was his fear of needles, and we were pretty drunk already and you know Diego, he's a lightweight, so when he passed out on the couch, we thought we'd do him a favor...” she trails off a little sheepishly.

“All we needed was alcohol and some ice, which we had plenty of, a needle, and a potato!” Klaus counted off the items on his fingers with a flourish.

“That sounds unsanitary,” was all Lila could think to say.

“You're one to talk,” Diego finally piped up, “you cauterized my stab wound with a soldering iron and then rode me the next day...” but he doesn't get much further as he is interrupted by Lila slapping him in the chest, Allison mumbling “gross” and Klaus cackling delightedly.

“So this is how a bunch of unsupervised thirty-two year olds behave?” Lila asks the occupants of the cab at large, mostly to steer the conversation away from her sex life, to which Allison corrects her “I'm thirty-four.” and Klaus chimes in more or less at the same time, “I'm thirty-six, actually!”

“Great roll models to your little brother, then,” Lila teases with a big grin and pointedly ignores Diego's indignant “Hey!”.

They spend the rest of the taxi ride with much the same amount of back and forth arguing, but somewhere within that is Diego's explanation that really he'd always wanted to get earrings but went for his piercing first as any kind of jewelry outside of a uniform would not have fit police academy regulation and then he had never got up the courage to go anywhere close to a needle again. He hardly wants to admit it, but he is apparently kind of grateful to his siblings for taking matters into their own hands.

Lila takes this information in in her stride. It's his body and the earrings suit him, so she tells him as much and has mixed feelings about the way he visibly relaxes next to her when she says that. It has it's perks that he's so desperate for her approval, but sometimes it makes her a little concerned.

They end up having lunch delivered at Allison's and by late afternoon everybody is exhausted, so Lila and Diego take their luggage and get a taxi to the hotel Diego was meant to check in to three days ago, but he had ended up crashing with his sister instead. Lila hopes they will have a room available.

They do, and the two of them barely manage to drop their bags on the floor before they tumble on to the bed, not even bothering to pull back the sheets, only stripping off the top cover that Lila is always a little suspicious of in hotels, and falling asleep fully dressed.

----

The next day is mostly a whirl and Lila is glad that herself and Diego basically only had a quiet dinner the night before after their nap and then went straight back to bed, as she thinks they would be having a hell of a shitty time if they'd been sleep-deprived.

It's not that the day isn't enjoyable, it's just a lot.

Luther, Vanya, and Five arrive in LA and the siblings all congregate at Allison's.

Lila is fascinated to see the amount of work that goes into just maintaining a brand for something as simple as a documentary premiere, as there are also half a dozen professional make-up artists and stylists on the scene who are wrangling the Hargreeves siblings with impressive authority. Lila is offered a very elaborate evening gown but decides on a colourful mini-dress with high neckline and exposed shoulders, and by the time they head out to the theatre where the premiere and a subsequent Q+A session is going to take place – they've decided that only Allison, Vanya, and Klaus should be involved in that, as Luther would feel to awkward up on stage, Diego had to admit that he was quite certain he wouldn't get a word out anyway, and Five wasn't part of the film as he is still officially missing – they are all dressed to the nines.

At the afterparty there's still press milling around and some photographers get the Hargreeves sans Five lined up to take a bunch of pictures while Lila and Five watch from a bit of a distance.

“You feel left out, little man?” Lila asks Five.

He looks at her pointedly and then back at his siblings being arranged into good poses by Allison and unconvincingly says, “Not really.” Then he turns back to Lila and asks her, “Do you?”

“Nah,” she replies with the same lack of conviction Five had managed. Then she picks up her whiskey soda and switches it with the ginger ale that's in front of Five, as she knows he hasn't been able to get anything more boozy than apple cider – a non-alcoholic drink in this part of the world, Lila has learnt from an irate Five when she didn't quite understand his complaint – and receives a grateful nod from Five for her efforts.

Before he can even take a sip, they are called over by Allison, who explains that she's wrangled one of the photographers who she has a good working relationship with into taking pictures of all of them – not to publish, just for their own use.

Lila squeezes in between Allison and Klaus and doesn't mind that Five subsequently squeezes in between Klaus and herself. They've come a long way from trying to tear each other to shreds in the sixties.

When they finally disperse to go enjoy the party, Lila feels a hand wrap around her arm and Diego whisper in her ear, his breath ghosting over her exposed shoulder, “Dance with me.”

She doesn't answer, instead she takes his hand and pulls him along to the small dance floor near the DJ. She swivels around and lets herself be pulled in close by Diego and they start dancing to the lively music.

When she gets a chance, she leans close to his ear and tries not to shout, but says loud enough to be heard over the music, “You look amazing tonight!”

And he does. He's wearing a terra-cotta coloured suit with a white vest underneath and Lila really likes the changeup from his usual blacks and greys. But her favourite detail is the heavy chain that one of the stylists, in a stroke of genius, got Diego to put around his neck, and the combination of the vest's low neck-line exposing his chest hair and the cold metal is really doing a number on her sanity.

“Yeah?” Diego asks a little breathlessly. She barely hears him, rather guesses what he says from his open and slightly bashful expression.

She nods at him with a smile, then wraps her fingers around the chain and uses it to pull his face down towards hers and kisses him soundly.

When she pulls away there's a hungry look in his eyes and so Lila decides to make things worse by pulling on the chain a little harder now so she can get to Diego's ear without having to get up on tip-toes, and says evenly, “I think I could get quite the good use out of this,” and jerks the chain once more for emphasis.

To her delight her antics get the desired response as Diego growls at her words, bites her lightly on the jaw, which makes Lila yelp, and then surprises her by dipping her deeply, and with his nose touching hers, says in a low rumble that sends a shiver down Lila's spine, “You should know better, babe, than to say shit like that if you're not going to follow through with it!”

To Lila's annoyance he doesn't kiss her but rather pulls her back upright and spins her out, and Lila's reminded that they're technically still dancing. When she comes back close to him she drags a finger down his chest and says into his ear in the most sultry voice she can manage, “Oh, I'll follow through with it, don't you worry!”

They spend the rest of the night dancing and flirting with each other and drinking with the rest of the Hargreeves.

And when they get back to their hotel room, Lila makes good on her promise.

[misssophiachase]

For @klarolinefallbingo - “Slutty Halloween Costume”

This is more sexy Halloween costume to me. Caroline is heading out for Halloween with her friends but Klaus has other ideas after seeing her chosen costume. 

The Cat’s Meow

31 October, Atlanta GA

“So, I’m going to head out,” Caroline called from the hallway, grabbing her keys and purse in the process after a brief glance in the mirror. 

An exorbitant amount of leopard print. Check.

Ears. Check.

Tail. Check.

An abundance of bare skin. Check. 

Perfect.

But she was still running late and the last thing she needed was a barrage of texts and calls from her two best friends about her delayed ETA. They were doing the group costume thing this year and if she wasn’t there it wouldn’t have the optimal effect as Bonnie insisted. 

Truth be told, if Klaus hadn’t hijacked her mid-shower she would have been ready much sooner. Her boyfriend had the ability to make time stand still in the best possible way. Plus, he had a mouth and accompanying tongue that could perform miracles. 

Multiple times over. 

Luckily their neighbours didn’t live too close and the glass shower screen could sustain some extra force. Unfortunately, the hot water running out was out of their control. 

They’d met nine months earlier. She’d begrudgingly accepted Katherine’s invite to an art gallery opening. Not because she wanted to but because her friend had the ability to nag her senseless if she’d declined. 

Caroline wasn’t an art aficionado but on arrival she immediately loved what she saw. She even bought one piece until the artist in question backed out of the sale. Apparently he couldn’t part with it and that had led to a war of words over email.

Then, he appeared unannounced to make his case in person. Turns out the emails were just foreplay and his extra curricular talents more than lived up to his professional ones. 

What Caroline didn’t expect months later was that her live-in boyfriend would be so against Halloween. He was an artist so she assumed it was already deeply ingrained in his psyche. But he complained he was British and didn’t do dress-up.

Caroline celebrated every holiday, most would say to the extreme, but she maintained that was just her over abundance of enthusiasm. Then she came up with a secret plan to make her boyfriend realise just how good Halloween could be.  

“Aren’t you going to come say goodbye first?” He asked, his low drawl causing a few places to stir even after their prolonged workout. 

She made her way towards his art studio, the fluttering in her stomach not lost on Caroline. She didn’t think there’d ever be a time when he didn’t cause those feelings. 

Her black, high heels clicked on the floorboards as she rounded the corner. 

For a guy who wasn’t partaking in Halloween festivities, he certainly looked the part of the tortured artist. Denim jeans riding low on his hips and a bare chest marred with a few stray paint splatters. 

Why was she going out again?

“Holy,” he cursed, his dark, blue eyes devouring every single inch of her ensemble. There was no mistaking his views on her costume. Caroline was trying to work out where exactly the tingling feeling was emanating from but couldn’t pinpoint given her current state. 

Not that she’d admit that to him. This was her plan after all. 

“You like?” She asked, a knowing smirk crossing her face. She even executed a pirouette to further accentuate every single arsenal she possessed. “I know you don’t really get into Halloween but Kat, Bonnie and I decided to go as Josie and the Pussycats.” 

“Well, I mean,” he stammered, his paintbrush clattering to the ground. His palette only saved with a delayed catch by the artist. “It’s, uh, it’s..”

“I’m playing…”

“Melody Valentine,” he replied, his husky tone not lost on Caroline. The crimson lips she knew so well had taken on a life of their own or was that her imagination?

“I didn’t know you were a fan,” she lied. 

She’d ‘accidentally’ seen his sketches from high school that he kept in a box in the closet. Every adolescent male had a comic book crush and she’d discovered his last month. Now, she was the living, breathing version of it. 

“I better get going.”

“You can’t go out like that,” he insisted, ditching his art supplies and walking purposefully towards her. 

“Oh, really? And why not?” He stopped briefly, shoving his hands in his pocket, clearly trying to work out a plausible response. He knew just how much she hated those kinds of overbearing men. 

“It’s, uh, cold out, I wouldn’t want you to catch something, love. Maybe a jacket might help?”    

“Oh, I checked and it’s going to be a mild 73 degrees,” she offered. “I should go, the girls are waiting and we are a trio.”

“Maybe I should come along,” he blurted out. 

Now, that she didn’t expect so soon. 

“Really?” She squealed excitedly. “I did get you a leopard loincloth just in case you changed your mind.”

“Loincloth,” he gulped. 

“Well, I figured Tarzan might be a good addition to the pussycats. You can never have enough leopard print especially on Halloween.”

“I’m,” he stumbled. She could see the confusion in his eyes and suddenly felt bad. Apparently her charms had worked too well. 

Plus, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t get into Halloween like she did. She figured this was the compromise step couples talked about. 

“How about,” she smiled, moving closer and looping her arms around his neck. “I go to this party with my friends as promised and then, when I get home, we celebrate together?”

“Well, every artist needs their muse, love,” he smirked, pulling her closer and nuzzling into her neck. She could feel his arousal rubbing against her teasingly and was willing herself to behave. “So, I want you to pose for me later.”

“Only if you wear the loincloth while doing it,” she grinned knowingly.

“I think that could be arranged, love.”

[feralnumberfive]

A Hargreeves Halloween

Well this was a WIP and I say was because I’ve decided I’m probably not going to finish it and upload it. Halloween was yesterday and I’m losing motivation to finish writing it, haha. Anyways, here’s some tidbits from it

(this is after they traveled back to 2019 again from the 60s but everything is normal and Ben is back as a ghost again)

-Claire is at the Academy for Halloween and quickly took a liking to her Uncle Five who she had never met before

-The siblings are shocked to find that Five goes from grumpy old man to patient and somewhat kind old man when Claire is around

-Five adores Claire

-The Hargreeves were never allowed to decorate for holidays so they had no Halloween decorations whatsoever and Claire wasn’t having it so she begged her Uncle Klaus to take her shopping for Halloween decorations

-Luther and Five tag along with the decoration shopping

-Klaus and Luther go off to grab a cart for their abundance of decorations while Five stays with Claire. Three teenage hooligans show up and tease and threaten Five and then Claire. Five, wanting to protect Claire but not fight the teens in front of her, simply teleports the two of them away

-Claire loves Five’s powers and was super happy that she got to teleport, but felt sick from the sudden jump. She then gets to ride on Luther’s shoulders around the store so that she can rest

-Klaus, trying to help Claire feel better, puts on a fashion show for her in the costume aisle. She asks him to dress like her Uncle Five, to which Klaus is happy to do since he knows Five wouldn’t say no to her. Klaus makes Five give him his blazer and shoes while he finds a domino mask and puts that on. Five is quietly fuming while Claire loves it but eventually gets really tired and they all head home

-Claire and Klaus decorate the mansion lobby with lights, a few fog machines, and a bunch of creepy hanging things like bats and spiders

-Right before trick or treating starts, Klaus calls everyone together to see their costumes (because he insisted that everyone had one). Allison and Claire are kangaroos, with Allison’s costume featuring a pouch. Luther simply puts his spacesuit on, which Claire quickly becomes obsessed with. Klaus takes advantage of his long hair and dresses as Jesus. Diego dresses as, you guessed it, Batman. Vanya dresses as a farm girl will overalls, a plaid shirt, and a baseball cap totally not because she misses her ranch life in the 60s. Five just pulls a Jim Halpert and sticks a name tag on his chest that says “Clive” but Klaus complains and Claire seems a little disappointed so he teleports upstairs and comes back donning his domino mask from his academy days, which excites Claire

-Claire goes out trick or treating with Allison, Vanya, and Five (who didn’t want to be stuck inside handing out candy definitely not because he wanted to keep his sisters and niece safe) Five gets offered candy multiple times but holds back his rebukes because Claire is there

-When they return back to the mansion Klaus says he has a surprise for Claire. He then summons Ben, to Claire’s amazement, who crouches down as Claire runs up to him and hugs him

-Ben, and a few of his siblings, have tears in their eyes as Claire gets to see her other uncle that she never got to meet

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

2 days until Elf Defence!

Meanwhile, here’s a sneak peek at the first chapter: 

“To be fair,” Benji said as Duke Klaus of Tournel plummeted down the side of the tower and hit the ground with a sickening splat, “that was mostly gravity's fault.”

Calarian leaned over the edge of the tower and inspected the impact zone far, far below. He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “This is a terrible beginning to this quest!”

Benji shrugged and inspected his fingernails, squinting in the sunlight.

Calarian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Go to Tournel,” Quinn had said. “They’re the victim of mountain troll attacks, and the duke has asked for our assistance. Find out what’s happening, and report back to us.”

“Oh, and Calarian?” Loth had added in a tone far too casual to ring entirely true. “Why not take Benji with you?”

Calarian loved quests. He’d been playing Houses and Humans since he was a child, but the shine had somewhat worn off the game since he’d helped rescue Loth and Quinn from a dank cell and restored them to the throne of Aguillon after defeating Lord Doom. Well, he’d restored one of them, and the other one had just gone along for the ride. The point was, Calarian was much more interested in real quests these days, so an adventure with besieged dukes and rampaging mountain trolls? That had definitely piqued his interest even if, as Benji said, it made him a bootlicker and a class traitor for taking orders off parasitic human kings who only existed to prop up a corrupt feudalistic system that oppressed the working people and whose heads would be the first on pikes when the revolution came.

Benji tended to talk like that a lot.

In retrospect, Calarian wasn’t at all surprised that Loth and Quinn had wanted him to take Benji with him. Especially since Benji kept loudly insisting that he didn’t even want to live at the palace and was only staying to ensure Loth and Quinn didn’t devolve into despotic warlords who had been corrupted by power, and it definitely wasn’t because the beds were soft and the food was good and Calarian was there, and anyone who said that was the real reason was a liar.

Everything had gone well, at first. They’d taken a week to get from Callier, the capital of Aguillon, to Tournel. Duke Klaus, a hearty old man with fluffy white hair and a welcoming smile, had been very happy to receive them. He’d filled them in on the strange mountain troll attacks, and personally escorted them up to the top of the tower, where he’d leaned out to show them exactly where the last mountain troll had collided with the keep—which was right when Benji had sneezed behind him, causing him to overbalance and, well, splat.

And here they were.

“It could be worse,” Benji offered. He didn’t seem nearly bothered enough by the dead duke spread beneath them, in Calarian’s opinion.

“Worse? How could it possibly be worse?” Calarian demanded.

“Well, he could have grabbed my hand and taken me with him, and that would have been a real loss,” Benji said.

Calarian wondered for a split second if it was too late to shove Benji over the edge, but restrained himself. Collectivist anarchists didn’t, as a rule, murder members of their own collective. Besides, Benji did have certain redeeming features.

He pushed down his murderous impulses and said, “You know we were just supposed to help him with his mountain troll problem?”

Benji glanced over the edge of the parapet, and then back at Calarian. “Well then, we’ve succeeded. I mean, he doesn’t have a mountain troll problem anymore, does he?”

“Benji, you killed the duke.”

Benji held up his finger. “Accidentally! And I do actually feel a little bit bad about that.”

“Do you?”

Benji chewed his lower lip. “I mean, he seemed nice. For an oppressor of the people.”

“You don’t even like people!”

“That’s also true,” Benji said. He flicked a shank of black hair over his shoulder. “I don’t even like people, and I’m still fighting for their rights. That’s so selfless of me. I’m actually amazing.”

Preorder Elf Defence here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08JD7Q9X7

And if you want to check out Red Heir, the first book, it’s on sale until Elf Defence comes out: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08BTJH8GF

@bunnywest​

[morganaspendragonss]

spirits in my head (they won’t go)

i’ve written four tua fics in four days someone help me

ao3

They don’t know what to do with Klaus. He’s still leaning heavily on Luther, only upright under the threat of being dragged along the tarmac, and it’s clear he won’t be able to get home under his own steam. Vanya has already left with a woman who Allison can only assume is Sissy, and Five is still inside with Dad, which leaves her, Diego and Luther to figure it out. 

“Diego and I can take him back to Elliott’s,” Luther eventually offers, though he doesn’t look like he particularly relishes the prospect. Allison doesn’t blame him; Klaus is difficult when he’s high or coming down, which apparently they think he is.

Allison...isn’t so sure. Still, it’s not like she’s exactly been there to see him like that. 

Klaus stirs at the sound of Luther’s voice. “No,” he moans. “Home.”

“Klaus, we don’t know where you live,” Luther argues.

“Allison…” Klaus brings his head up, eyes meeting her own with a surprising desperation in them. “Allison, you know. You can take me. Please.”

Allison hesitates. All she wants right now is to get home to Ray, plus she really doesn’t think Klaus should be left alone right now. But… Well, she’s always found it hard to deny Klaus, and if she’s being honest with herself, she feels bad for letting Luther literally drag him around. 

She forces a smile. “Sure.”

“Allison -” Luther tries, but she sends him a look.

“Can you get him into my car, please?”

Luther lingers a moment longer, glancing between her and Klaus, but eventually relents, bundling him into the backseat of her car. Allison follows, sending Luther a quick, “Thanks,” before getting in herself. She throws a look over at Klaus, pressing himself to the window, face pale, and purses her lips, starting the car.

The drive back to Klaus’s home (base? hideout?) is spent in silence - on Allison’s part, at least. Klaus keeps up a steady stream of muttering, of which she only catches about half. It doesn’t seem to be directed at her, though, and Allison finds herself repeatedly checking the rearview mirror. There’s never anybody there, of course, but she can’t shake her unease at the idea of a ghost riding around in her backseat.

“Klaus,” she ventures, during an apparent lull in the conversation. “Who are you talking to?”

“Hm?” Klaus glances towards her. “Oh, just some pesky little ghostie I can’t seem to shake. Fear not, he’ll leave when I do. Thanks for interrupting him, by the way, listening to his moaning was really dragging on.”

“Oh.” Allison smiles nervously, checking the mirror again - no-one there. “You’re welcome.”

Klaus snorts, then groans as he slumps back against the window, the ghost apparently having started talking again. 

This goes on for some time, before, “Oh, shut up, Ben!”

Allison almost crashes the car. Fortunately, the mansion is just up ahead, so she swings into the driveway and shuts off the engine, turning around to face Klaus.

“Are you high?” she demands.

Klaus has the gall to look offended, as if there isn’t still a sheen of sweat across his face, far too pale and drawn to be normal. “I’m sober!” he protests.

“Klaus, I’ve seen you drinking.”

He waves a lazy hand. “Semantics, dear sister,” he says, but relents at Allison’s raised eyebrow. “Fine, fine, I may have taken a swan dive off the wagon, but I was sober. For three years! And I haven’t even touched a drug since before old Fivey sent us here, so.”

Allison studies him closely. He looks like shit, to put it mildly, but… “I believe you,” she says, and she does. Somehow, she does; even Klaus looks surprised at the admission. 

“Oh,” he says. “Well then. If that’s all, I think I’ll take my leave.” 

He heaves himself upright and reaches for the door handle, but Allison grabs his arm. “Not so fast. I heard you say Ben.”

Klaus freezes. “Did you?” he asks, clearly forcing a strained laugh. 

“Yep.” She fixes him with a hard stare. “Except - it’s the strangest thing - I seem to remember you telling us Ben never made it here.”

Klaus hesitates, then sighs, falling back into the seat. “In my defence, he’s being a real bitch right now,” he mumbles.

“Klaus!” Allison releases his arm and turns away from him, putting her head in her hands. 

“Oh, don’t start with some ‘don’t talk ill of the dead’ bullshit,” Klaus scoffs. “I’ve put up with him for seventeen years, I think I’ve earned the right to talk ill of him.”

Allison glares at him. “And what gives you the right to lie to us about him?” she demands, furious. Klaus looks like a kicked puppy, but she couldn’t care less how shitty he’s feeling right now; he lied to them about their dead brother, she thinks she’s allowed a little anger. 

“Honestly, you should be grateful, seventeen years in the grave have done nothing for his likeability,” Klaus says, but he keeps talking before Allison can protest that. “I admit it, alright, I made a mistake - be quiet, Ben, you’re not innocent here either - I’ll do the introductions tomorrow after my organs have rearranged themselves - will that make you happy, you little turd -”

Allison waves a hand in front of his face; clearly he’s not talking to her anymore. He blinks in surprise and flicks his eyes back to her. “Do you want to, I don’t know, tell me what’s going on?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Not particularly.”

“Klaus -”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolls his eyes and sits up as much as he can. “Our dear, dead brother is all mad because I won’t let him use my body.”

Allison blinks. “What?”

Klaus hums, nodding. “Yeah, remember my little...episode back at the bar? Ben here got all impatient and decided he would just hop on in here. Without even warning me, can you believe that?” Then, turning and glaring to his left, “Of course, I would have said no, but I might have at least liked the choice. Newsflash, asshole: possession hurts! Oh, don’t start -”

Allison tunes him out, her mind reeling. She can’t believe Ben is here - Ben, her brother, her dead brother, actually here. It’s mind blowing, to be honest. She’s still pissed at Klaus for hiding him, but if what Klaus said is true… 

And this is the part Allison really can’t wrap her head around. Ben was always so kind; how is she supposed to believe he’d do something like that. Although… He has been dead for years. She guesses that would make anyone a little jaded.

Klaus’s voice gets louder, pulling her out of her thoughts. 

“No, you can’t possess me again - don’t fucking touch me - I mean it, Ben -”

“Hey!” she interrupts. She looks at Klaus, more than a little disturbed by the fear in his eyes, but she forces herself to focus. “Klaus, is there any way I can speak to Ben? Like, actually speak to him?”

Klaus’s shoulders slump. “No can do, Ally,” he says. “Normally, I’d be all too happy to oblige, but apparently possession throws my powers out of whack.” He laughs bitterly. “Crazy, right?”

Ben must say something, because Klaus stiffens. “You’re lucky I can’t make you corporeal right now,” he grits out, “else your ghostly mug would have a date with my fist. Ben, you can’t borrow a body - no - Allison, tell him!”

Allison’s chokes, shaking her head at Klaus, but his eyes plead with her. “Um. Okay.” She shifts her gaze to the empty air next to Klaus, hoping that’s where Ben is. “Maybe don’t possess Klaus again?”

It’s weak, but Klaus nods firmly at Ben as if it’s the best argument he’s ever heard. Allison doesn’t miss the way he’s still very clearly pressed against the door, presumably as far away from Ben he can get. That makes her uneasy, the idea that Klaus is scared of their brother, or at the very least unwilling to be near him, especially because they’ve spent so long in each other’s company. 

It’s what motivates her to ask, “Do you want to come back to mine?”

Klaus looks surprised but touched at the offer. Even so, he shakes his head. “Lovely as that sounds, I don’t want to impose on you and your very handsome husband any more than I already have.”

“You wouldn’t be imposing,” she starts, but Klaus waves her away (goodbye).

“I won’t hear anymore about it,” he insists. “Besides I have plenty of people to keep me company.” He grins at her, but Allison can tell that it’s fake. 

“Are you sure?” she asks, unsure whether or not to force the subject. On the one hand, Klaus is at least partly right; Ray has already put up with so much and she doesn’t want to make him deal with more. But on the other, Klaus is clearly not okay. 

In the end, Klaus makes up her mind for her. “Absolutely,” he says forcefully, getting out of the car before she can protest the point any further. He sways a little as he stands but doesn’t fall over, which is a relief. “Bye Allison.”

“Bye!” Allison calls, watching him walk away. Then, an afterthought, “Bye, Ben!” 

Klaus turns and grins, saluting her before stumbling into the mansion - (seriously, how the hell did he end up there?) - greeted by a cloud of people in blue overalls. Allison keeps watching until her brother(s?) are swallowed up, and then a bit longer. She has half a mind to go in there and drag him out, she’d use her rumours if she had to, but… But. She can’t do that to him. Not now.

Eventually, Allison sighs and turns the engine on, backing out of the driveway. She tries to push Klaus and Ben from her mind, thinking of Ray waiting for her at home, but she can’t rid herself of the image of Klaus convulsing on the floor of that bar. She wishes she’d helped him more, but they’re all used to weird shit from Klaus and they’d had bigger problems at the time. 

(Still, the guilt takes root in her and she has the overwhelming urge to talk to someone - Vanya possibly, or Luther - about Klaus and Ben and everything.)

(Maybe tomorrow.)

(Maybe.)

[innately-pretentious]

Finally, I Found You. (Klaus Hargreeves x Reader)

Request: Hey! I looooved your Klaus headcanons and was wondering if you could write about when him and the reader are reunited in the 60s??? Totally fine if not, have a nice day!

A/N: Awh thank you so much, I hope this is alright dude! I am really tempted to turn this into a series tho... if you want that?? Even if this is really rough and kind of rushed. Kinda angsty? Kinda sad? Very fluffy. Enjoy!

Being spat out of a spinning vortex into a dingy alley was enough to stress anybody out, especially after a rather terrifying and life threatening encounter with your sister initiating the apocalypse. Navigating through the twenty first century was difficult enough, but being catapulted into a completely new decade with nothing but your bag and clothes you were wearing just about topped that.

Letting out a cry as you hit the ground and groaning as you rolled over and tried to get our bearings. Glancing around to see if you could locate any of your siblings whom you were with only a few minutes previously, you stood up and brushed yourself off, you began calling out their names. Sadly with no success, there was no response, you were alone.

You continued pacing along the pavement, trying to come up with a plan of action. Deciding you couldn’t improve your situation much from the alley, you emerged into a busy street and began wandering down the road. Progressing along the street, you could not help but take notice of the architecture and clothing surrounding you. Definitely not similar to the modern aesthetics you were used to. Flagging down an approachable looking woman and kid you asked what year it was, sharing peculiar look she confirmed your suspicions. It was July 24th 1962. Brilliant.

Trying hard not to think the worst of your situation, you mind wandered to Klaus. The two of you had hardly been apart for more than one night over the course of your year long relationship, your stomach dropped at the thought of him being isolated in a random time period, unable to contact anyone, nobody to help. A small part of you wished Ben was with him, but you were completely clueless as to how this whole time travel business worked. You attempted to brush that thought aside for the time being, first you had to find somewhere to stay. Sleeping rough with nothing but the clothes on your back did not sound appealing, luckily you had some spare cash in your bag for a room for a few days, giving you sometime to formulate a plan.

The first night was definitely the hardest. Deciding to find the cheapest hotel you could, you booked a room for the night, collecting the keys and collapsing on the mattress. As soon as you got into the uncomfortable bed you knew sleep would not come tonight, the double bed was not helping either. You spent the majority of the night on your side, laying there and glancing at the opposite side of the mattress, where he should be sleeping. It felt too empty without Klaus hogging the blanket. You couldn’t help the collection of memories the two of you shared popping into your mind. Lazy weekday nights, limbs draped absentmindedly over one another, Klaus’ hand tracing soft patterns into your shoulder as you talked about absolute nonsense for hours. Both dreading when the morning came as you would have to leave his arms. Growing up in Hargreeves’ mansion you would constantly sneak into his room, even before you were together. Your ability to turn invisible was a great help, coming to comfort him if your father pushed him too hard again was almost a nightly occurrence. You loved the way he would relax as soon as he felt you lift up the blanket and settle in next to him, knowing he wouldn’t have be alone.

You smiled at the thought of him, he always had to be close to you. Even in his sleep you caught him reaching for you sleepily or rolling his leg onto you in an attempt to pull you closer. You often wondered if he even knew he was doing it or if it was entirely subconscious. After everything he went through growing up it was no surprise he had clingy tendencies. You wouldn’t change him for anything, if he needed you close, you had no problem obliging him. If it made him feel safe you would do it.

It was at this point the tears started to fall. For someone who had been through so much to then be stuck somewhere, unable to reach you, made your heart ache. Tomorrow you would figure something out, however futile it may be, you were determined to at least try and make a life for yourself here.

3 Months Later:

The three months had not been easy, by any means. It had mainly consisted of you on the road, finding work pretty much wherever would take you. Getting the car you were currently driving was a feat in itself, stealing an automobile had never been on your bucket list. You never liked using your power to steal, however, it was your only mode of transport and occasional place to sleep. You always coaxed Klaus not to just take things, he would be shocked if he could see you now, the look on his face would be priceless! On the bright side, you could have picked a worse car, with five seats, a convertible roof and playable radio, you had risen in worse rides.

More memories surfaced in your mind, ones where you took Klaus out for a drive out of the city during the beginning of his sobriety. This started as an attempt to inject a new lust for life into him, show him there was more to the world than just powder in the back alleys. Soon your little road trip became a weekly occurrence, driving with Klaus and losing track of time, just each other for company. You loved him dearly but you both decided it would be more beneficial if you were the one behind the wheel, not that he cared, he was given full control of the music this way. He insisted on having the windows down and the music loud, staring at you with his pupils slightly dilated, feeling doped up on life rather than various pills. You loved how radiant he looked, you even let him get away with wailing along to the lyrics on the radio, at least for a while…

“Klaus, I love you, but I’m gonna need my eardrums in the future,”

“Yes, I’m aware. Why do you think I’m gracing them with my dulcet tones?”

You couldn’t help but jokingly glare at him. Once again he was never to far away from you, laughing and giving your thigh a squeeze as you watch the city disappear behind you, along with his worries.

Dragging yourself back to the present (well, 1962), you gripped the steering wheel, forcing yourself to focus on the road instead of the bittersweet memories you held. They were the only things you had left of him, and you hoped that wherever he was, he was safe.

You decided to return to the town where it all began, Dallas, Texas. You were in need of some new clothes and a quick bite to eat before you got back on the road, in search for another short-term job to earn some much needed cash. A second-hand shop would probably be the most budget friendly option for clothes, ringing the bell as you opened the door, you began to flick through the various fabrics and patterns of clothing. One of the things you loved about this decade was the flamboyant clothing, he would have thrived here. Gathering quite a large armful of clothes, you decided to go try a few on, just looking through your selection one last time before you committed to the changing room.

You were ripped from your thoughts by a loud thud on the window, resulting in you dropping the bundle of clothes you had accumulated during your browsing. Huffing and turning your attention to the window, ready for some kind of confrontation, although, nothing could be further from your assumption.

Your eyes met with the same hazel ones you had been gazing into for the last year, unmistakable hands with tattoos were firmly placed on the glass. His jaw was slack and his eyes were wide as he gawked through the glass. You began to shake as you drank in the sight of him, your chest tightened and you found it increasingly difficult to breathe. You wanted to run into his arms, but you weren’t sure if your legs would carry you. You couldn’t feel anything except the racing of you heart. Time seemed to still as you just stared at one another.

He was the first to break the gaze, tripping over himself in an attempt to reach the door. He forced the door open so forcefully that the bell nearly fell off, it didn’t stop him though. Running down the shopping aisle, pushing the racks aside as he continued towards you, knocking over a few clothing racks, not slowing down as he slammed into your open arms. The impact of the force sending the two of you tumbling to the ground, both of you gripping onto the other in fear they may disappear again. He could feel you shaking in his hold, overwhelmed with the entire situation, he kept his grip firm around you, letting you know that he is here and you are safe. He doesn’t plan on leaving you.

Finally managing to pull his face from the crook of your neck, you held his face in your hands, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. You weren’t aware you were crying until you felt his calloused hands brush away a stray tear from your cheek.

“It’s really you isn’t it?” You managed to choke out, you must have looked insane to the shopkeeper, both of you smiling and sobbing, curled up on his shop floor.

“Of course it’s me, nobody could recreate this amount of beauty and personality twice,” he joked and cracked a smile. That typical Klaus smile you missed so much. Even in a time like this, supposedly sentimental, he still had to get a wisecrack in.

“You’re such an idiot Klaus, only you could compliment yourself in a time like this,” you said, you weren’t sure if you were crying or laughing at this point, but you knew you were finally happy.

“I’ve had to do it myself for a while since you were absent,” he said, you couldn’t miss the subtle sadness that passed over his features.

“Come on then Y/N”, he groaned as he stood up, offering a hand to help you, “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

You glanced up at him before you accepted his hand, his hair was longer than before and he looked healthier, but he was undeniably still your Klaus. You placed you hand in his and let him drag you up, resting his arm around your waist, slightly tighter than he used to. You allowed your head to rest on his shoulder, re-familiarising yourself with his body. The two of you definitely had a long conversation ahead, you allowed him to drag you to the nearest diner, excited to unburden yourselves after finally finding each other.

[in-tua-deep]

things i think the Hargreeves should do post apocalypse:

Luther:

Any adult shop classes because I genuinely love mechanic!Luther and have been slipping that into like, all my aus where I can.

Goes to slam poetry nights because he genuinely enjoys poetry (hello space poetry from episode one about the comet or whatever) and maybe one day is confident enough to share his with other people

Gets some gym bros who all enthusiastically support him in a bro sort of way who are constantly getting their minds blown by how much Luther can lift and constantly going “YOOOOOO” while Luther tries to downplay things bc he’s embarrassed 

I don’t know I just want Luther to have actual friends

Probably goes to every astronomy event where people have telescopes and is known in that scene so every time there’s some event at the observatory newcomers are like “what the FUCK” when this bigass bodybuilder comes in and starts gushing about which planet is visible I don’t know

Spearheads a lot of the family’s museum (that aren’t art museum) outings, especially if they have any exhibit that even vaguely relates to outer space or planets or the moon or anything. 

Probably gets up at godawful hours on the morning to go hiking and see the sunrise because he really liked doing that on the moon and even though it isn’t quite the same he still loves to do it. (If he’s not hiking he goes up to Grace’s roof garden to watch it)

Diego:

He already does his fighting at the gym which is kind of cool I’m going to gently assume that he already has gym bros and if he doesn’t then he becomes somewhat more approachable after everything

(having your mother comes down to the gym and kiss your cheek or your teenage brother hop in to drag you away or you other very flamboyant sibling dance his way into the gym to fetch you doesn’t exactly do wonders for keeping a reputation going)

I do want to think that Diego takes up like,, whittling but I think he’d have to do it away from Vanya bc,, you know,, Leonard/Harold whatever was a woodcarver or something but idk maybe Vanya is cool with it - but just the image of Diego hunching over and carving at something and Klaus leaning over and trying to enthusiastically guess what it is while getting it super super wrong because Diego is a beginner and his starting pieces are all lumpy monstrosities makes me smile

Diego taking cooking classes so that he can surprise Grace by taking over dinner sometimes and letting her relax and do what she wants

I’ve said this somewhere before but Diego spearheading picnic events and forcing the family out of the house because he thinks it’s a nice thing for Grace to see the world and on god if any of his siblings fight him about it he will stuff their asses into a picnic basket himself because they are GOING

Gets dragged by Klaus into dumb ideas to “give ourselves a CHILDHOOD diego” more than any other member of the family. Which basically means that Diego is the one Klaus grabs to surf a mattress down the staircase and other dumbass ideas

Allison:

Probably ends up redecorating the mansion and completely redoing it to make it more modern and also less the horrible hellscape with taxidermied animals on the walls that it is. Her and Grace squad up to plan everything and then Allison makes everyone help when it comes to things like painting and building all the nice ikea furniture she just bought

Takes parenting classes as sort of extra credit for her custody case for Claire. I feel like eventually she and Patrick genuinely talk to each other, maybe at some kind of joint therapy, and sort of clear the air between them. They might never get back together, but they at least become sort of friends again. Mainly because I like the Patrick I’ve built up for myself in my head tbh

Occasionally attends craft classes with Klaus when she has a spare moment, because he goes to like,, all the local craft classes. She likes to spend the time with him. Is probably the only sibling who willingly attends with Klaus, but others get dragged along as well.

Probably takes up scrapbooking? She wants to have something physical to give to Claire so decides to go through like,, all the camera footage of their childhoods and pick out good images (because goodness knows they didn’t have cute family pictures) and maybe Grace uploads some of her memories to a harddrive with cute shit and they scrapbook together let me have this

on a related note buys a camera and starts trying to catch her siblings doing cute things for her scrapbook with the sort of determined energy of someone who has realized that she’s having to do her scrapbooking from security camera footage because their childhoods were fucked up

(she has a bajillion pictures of herself - thank you paparazzi - but all she has on her siblings is like... what, one of diego’s fighting posters and the two pictures of Vanya from her book and from the newspaper on the fucked up apocalypse concert??)

Klaus:

Genuinely goes to any and all craft classes offered at the community center and random places around town. Usually sort of a disaster, always a disaster when he drags along his siblings, and always proudly brings home his third grader worthy creations that Grace proudly puts on the shelves. He gets better at things the more he goes to them though, so there’s a progression of skill level in his crafts. Allison goes with him when she has time.

Has a knitting circle that he attends that is primarily made of little old ladies who dote on him. Five occasionally goes with but it often conflicts with Five’s other extra curricular activities.

Bakes at home a lot, with Grace’s supervision after some certain incidents that should remain unnamed. Tends to get ‘creative’ with the recipes but now that Grace is present to make sure it won’t be a disaster everyone is more willing to taste whatever comes out. Has, on at least one occasion, insisted on decorating cookies or icing cupcakes or whatever as a ‘family bonding activity.’

Goes with Ben to the movie theater frequently even to the gross horror movies that Klaus hates and Ben absolutely loves. Klaus always insists Diego come to the horror movies so that Klaus has someone physically there for him to hold onto when he’s scared. Five comes sometimes as well, but tends to critique the special effects - especially blood and blood splatter - which makes other people turn around to hush them.

Five:

I genuinely want to say he does gymnastics lessons. Mainly because I feel like he needs to do SOMETHING physical and get rid of his excess energy, and also I think it would be hilarious for him to be tumbling and teleporting and shit at the same time what a wild ride. Absolutely refuses to allow his siblings to come to any competitions or whatever, but they all end up showing up anyway.

Starts learning instruments. Asks Vanya for lessons on the violin so they can play together, it’s very cute. I also wants to say starts learning the piano because someone sent me an ask once about it and it was super valid. And Five can learn both because I say so and he doesn’t go to school he has the free time

Is on first name basis with a bunch of scientists and mathematicians online where they all yell numbers at one another. Probably in a super technical group chat with a bunch of people with actual doctorates who don’t actually know that Five doesn’t have a doctorate. 

Actually you know what just let Five start actually going to college like let him go to the local community college or start taking college classes or something. He can get his GED or whatever. Let this boy get a DEGREE

Goes to art classes, first because drawing therapy was something Klaus suggested and he wanted to get his brother off his back. Later because he enjoys it. There’s a life drawing group he frequents - he’s the youngest there and new people always do a double take when he shows up but Five is very meticulous in his art and is actually pretty good. Grace goes with him as well because I say so and they deserve bonding time together

Ben:

I mean he’s kind of dead but let him do things with his siblings as well!!

Like I said earlier, a total movie buff and loves going to see things in theaters. And by movie buff I just mean he sees a lot of movies. Bizarrely into horror movies for how sensitive a kid he always was. He goes to the theater with Klaus for the most part but likes to watch movies with the family as well. Klaus makes him watch every animated movie with him in return for Ben dragging Klaus to watch horror movies.

Probably ends up with a youtube channel?? does movie reviews and game playthroughs whenever Klaus has enough energy to manifest him. Is pretty popular but half his followers are because of the bizarre shit that goes on in the backgrounds of his videos. People figure out Klaus (who is a frequent guest) is The Seance and then Five jumps in to tell them dinner is ready or something and they’re like “wait is that the Seances brother with the portal powers who vanished when he was a teen and still IS a teen” and the fact that ben probably has a username that’s some shit like “bentacles” that klaus set up for him everyone is theorizing that the channel is just. Ghost Ben and Five who are being manifested by the Seance to?? play games? 

well. they’re half right.

it certain doesn’t help the rumor mill when Ben makes sarcastic comments about dying or how he can’t get arrested because he’s legally dead and shit like that.

“Yeah sorry I didn’t post yesterday Klaus’s knitting group ended up getting arrested somehow - I was there and I’m still not sure went down - so that’s why I didn’t manifest”

Vanya:

I mean obviously she plays the violin that’s her job. She also teaches Five how to play the violin when he expresses an interest!! She is very touched by the gesture

Swims to keep fit and is a frequent at the pool. Klaus once bugged her to let him come, but it’s really her thing that she just does by herself when she wants to get out of her own brain. She does promise Klaus that they’ll take a family trip to a water park one day though, which he enthusiastically takes her up on.

Attends a book club that she also half-shares with Ben. Ben doesn’t come with to any of the meetings, but she always buys two copies/borrow two copies from the library so that Ben can read along with them and he and Vanya discuss the books before she even goes to any of the meetings. Probably thought there would be more discussion of the books than complaining about their general lives, but keeps going because she lowkey wants an excuse to keep frequenting the bookstore where this cute girl works.

Her and Five steadily are making their way through all the coffee shops in the city (as well as through their menus) in search of the best cup of coffee. It’s just a fun thing they do together that the other siblings occasionally go with as well whenever they have time. Both Five and Vanya have notebooks where they record their ratings based on a variety of factors. Diego calls them pretentious and Klaus always gets the ones which are barely classified as coffee when he goes with (Five steals sips and makes faces but continues to do so)

Grace:

Frequents art museums and galleries! Supports a lot of beginning and local artists by buying their art and has a lot of rotating paintings and prints in the house depending on her mood. She got rid of pretty much like,, all the old painting that Reggie had up except for a few of her favs which she relocates to her new room that Diego put his foot down on giving her

Goes with Five to his art classes at first because, as a minor, he needed an adult to go with him for nudity reasons (it’s a life drawing class man). Grace didn’t expect to actually draw herself but Five insisted because he felt awkward with her just standing there. She prefers abstract styles herself (so many people at this art class have a crush on Grace you have no idea)

(actually goes with Five to most things he’s beginning for himself for at least the first lesson to sign him up as an adult because Five loathes having to ask his siblings)

Commissions someone to come and paint a portrait of the family that’s for them, where none of them are stiff and they’re all happy. She tips the artist fabulously for it and hangs the new family portrait in the place of honor above the mantle where Five’s portrait used to hang (they all destroyed it as a family bonding activity)

Keeps bees on the roof after one of the kids showed her an article about saving the bees. She can’t get stung and genuinely enjoys hanging out up there where she ALSO started a big garden because I say so and Grace deserves to be surrounded by flowers and bumblebees and happiness don’t @ me

[badsext]

For Asgard! : Klaus x Valkyrie

⚠️: Smut

Klaus is rifling through some antiques in Reginald’s study when he comes upon a strange object, a golden geometric sculpture with interlocking shapes like pieces of a puzzle. Klaus immediately thinks of pawning it for cash, but then he hears something. At first he thinks he’s imagining it, but the object is humming. He picks it up and attempts to rearrange the pieces, but it won’t budge.

“Where’s the goddamn off button?,” he mumbles to himself. He struggles with it a bit more before giving up and throwing it against the wall. It comes to rest on the floor and produces a clicking sound before going silent. Assuming he must have broken it, he stoops to pick it up. Then a bright beam of refracted light comes streaming out of a small hole in the top. The light is so intense it makes him shut his eyes tight.

When Klaus opens his eyes the study is gone and he is standing on an open road by the sea. A pickup truck swerves to avoid him. It’s not unlike the time a mysterious stolen suitcase transported Klaus into the Vietnam war. Fortunately, this time his destination is a peaceful fishing port. The sign reads ‘New Asgard’ and in the distance he spies a pub. “Eh, what the fuck,” he says to himself. Klaus lights a cigarette, shoves the puzzle device into his pocket, and marches into town.

The bar is full of fishermen, drinking and chatting amongst themselves. No one even blinks at Klaus as he saunters up to the bar. He orders whisky then rotates himself 360 degrees on the barstool to take in his new surroundings.

He observes the woman resting on her elbows at the other end of the bar looks like she could kick his ass, which was exactly Klaus’ type when it comes to women. And she is gorgeous. Her thick utilitarian clothing and dour expression can’t hide it.

“The sea was plentiful today, your majesty.” A robust bearded man hails her as he collects his drinks from the bar.

“Aye, Harek. I’ll drink to that!,” the woman smiles and lifts her beer stein, then goes back to her beverage. Klaus leans in, his mind full of questions.

“Excuse me, barkeep? Where am I?”

“New Asgard.”

“Well, yes, that was on the sign, but…What year is it? What is today’s date.”

“Are you alright, my friend?”

“Just tell me.” Klaus insists.

“Tuesday, May 10th, 2023…and it’s just about noon.”

“Oh, boy,” Klaus’ eyes grow bigger as he fishes around in his coat pocket for payment.

“I’ve got this one, Bjorn. Put it on my tab.” It is the beautiful woman from the end of the bar. She looks Klaus over, commenting with a soft, ambiguous grunt.

“Many thanks for the drink, your majesty.” Klaus opens his coat like a dress and curtsies.

Valkyrie stifles a chuckle. “You can skip the formalities. That’s just Harek, he’s stuck in the old traditions. I am Brunhilde, last Valkyrie of Asgard, and king of New Asgard, but you can call me Val. What’s your name, stranger?”

“I am Klaus, 4th son of Hargreeves and irresistible bad boy at your service.” He winks. “If I may, why is the monarch of a small country drinking in a pub at noon on a Tuesday?”

“No, you may not,” she snorts. “But today is your lucky day because I’m bored and this ale makes me chatty.” Klaus moves to the empty stool next to hers and rests his chin in his hand, ready for Val to spill the tea. “I was part of a squadron of fighters, the Valkyrie, defenders of Asgard, but I am the last. My sisters in arms were slaughtered in battle including the one I loved. Her voice trails off for a moment as she stares off into the distance. “Then Asgard was destroyed.”

“Moon exploded by a telekinetic?” Klaus offers a guess.

Val furrows her brow at him. “Fire giant. The people of this town are the survivors of genocide and I am their leader. THAT is why I drink. What’s your story, Klaus?”

“I grew up in a family with superpowers and I’ve got the worst one. I communicate with the dead, and yes, that’s just as much fun as it sounds! I was kidnapped by assassins and tortured, escaped back in time to the Vietnam war where I fell in love with a soldier who died in my arms. Then my siblings and I tried to stop the apocalypse and failed. We’ve traveled back in time…let me see…six times now? We always manage to fuck it up. That’s why I drink.”

Valkyrie tips back the last of her ale and slams the empty stein on the bar, then holds up two fingers. “Shots for me and this miserable bastard!” The shots arrive and Valkyrie clinks her glass with Klaus.’

“Have I started to grow on you?,” he asks, making the shot disappear down his throat.

“The jury’s still out,” she replies, following suit.

Klaus stands up and walks over to the juke box. “Hey, you got a quarter?”

Valkyrie tosses him the coin. He snatches it out of the air with precision that surprises them both. He makes a selection, then comes shimmying back to the opening chords of ‘Immigrant Song.’ Valkyrie smiles. “You’re kidding me, right?”

Klaus shakes his head “iiieeeaaaaahhhh!,” he sings along, pleading with her to join him on the dance floor. She obliges, reluctantly at first, moving to the music, enchanted by Klaus’ goofy charm. The song fades. Something slower begins to play. Valkyrie captures Klaus by the collar and pulls him in close. Her rich brown eyes search his green ones.

“I’d like to take you home and….,"she reaches down and wraps her hand firmly around the bulge in his pants. He shudders in anticipation. Valkyrie tosses some money on the bar and heads for the door, pulling Klaus behind her.

“Don’t wait up,” he announces to no one in particular.

Valkyrie takes Klaus back to her modest cottage not far from the rocky shore. They stand at the foot of her bed. She removes her vest, then starts working on his belt.

“Your majest- um, Val?…I love the fisherman gear: puffy vest, rubber boots, cable knit sweater…it’s hot, but I was wondering if you had anything tighter…perhaps made of leather?” He bites his finger, anxiously awaiting her response.

Valkyrie narrows her eyes at him. “Alright, pretty boy, but be careful what you wish for.” She disappears into the closet and emerges wearing her armor. Klaus’ jaw drops.

“Does this excite you?” She rips open his shirt to feel his heart.

His breath catches in his throat. “Y-you didn’t mention it had a cape!”

Val kisses his neck and whispers sensuously in his ear, “I also have a pegasus.”

“Oh dear god.” His eyes fall shut and his head rolls back.

“Enough talk.” She rips off the rest of his clothes. “Down on the bed.”

Klaus lays down facing her. He watches her lustful eyes roving his body’s topography, but then her expression snaps back to one of severity. “Roll over,” she says. His face lights up. He rolls onto his stomach with his face in the pillow. Val slaps his tight little ass. “Mmm…,” Klaus relishes the sting. Val soothes his sensitive pink cheek with a caress. Klaus lifts his pelvis up to make room for his stiffened cock.

Val reaches under the bed for one of her toys. This one has Klaus’ name on it. She turns it on. Klaus immediately recognizes that sound. He perks up and practically wiggles with excitement. She glides the toy over his ass. His skin has goosebumps. She pauses to put a bit of lube on the tip then she uses it to stimulate his tight little hole. “Oh!,” he shudders at the sensation. “Are you ready for me, pretty boy?”

“Yes.” He is breathless. The waiting is so hard. She slowly inserts the toy. Klaus whimpers and groans until she is fully inside him. She increases the vibration. “Ah,”. Klaus pushes back against her hand. She pulls him by the hair so she can see his face while she fucks him. His face is twisted in pleasure and pain, only seconds from release. She turns off the toy, takes it out. “Don’t you come until I tell you to.” She scolds. “Only good boys get to come.”

“Oh, I promise to be a good boy. I do.”

She pulls off her armor and lies back with her head resting high on a stack of pillows. “Shut up and satisfy me with that pretty mouth.”

“It would be my pleasure, your majesty…For Asgard!.” He dives between her legs to devour her. His tongue glides over her clit, back and forth. His lips wrap around her most sensitive flesh to suckle her throbbing bundle of nerves. He sinks two fingers inside her. She moans, grabbing the back of his head. He takes the encouragement and focuses his movements. She comes in spectacular fashion, crying out and squeezing his head between her muscular thighs. He rises with traces of her essence on his chin. “Was I a good boy?”

“A very good boy.” She flips him over on his back and takes his cock in her hand. She pumps it a few times until it is fully erect. Her other hand slides over his smooth chest up to his neck. She looks into his eyes to gage his reaction. He whimpers and bites his lip, his sparkling green eyes pleading. Her fingers wrap tighter around his throat, squeezing with light pressure. Then she straddles him, sliding her slick pussy over the tip of his cock. He groans and bucks his pelvis. “Not yet, pretty boy. It’s sweeter if you suffer.”

She kisses him, drawing his bottom lip into her mouth and biting it gently. Then she rakes her teeth over his nipple. First one and then the other.

Klaus’ eyes roll back in his head. “Fuck,” he rasps.

Her hand grips tighter around his throat and the other rests against his chest as she lowers herself onto his cock. She bucks forward, slowly at first then picks up speed, her little tits bouncing as she rides. Klaus is in ecstasy, looking up at her in awe. Her brown skin glistens with the sweat of her labor. She leans into her climax, moaning and spasming with her eyes shut tight. When she regains control, she can see that Klaus is about to come, so she climbs off and grabs his wet cock. “Now, pretty boy. I want to watch you come.” She pumps him until he gushes over her hand and makes a mess of himself.

Her whole demeanor changes. She kisses him tenderly then runs off to the bathroom, returning with a warm damp hand towel and a dry one. He smiles up at her, cleaning himself off. She smiles back. “Looks like we manage rather well together, don’t we?”

“You are a goddess.”

Valkyrie laughs.

“What? What did I say?”

“Do remember us when you go back, will you?” She sits next to him nuzzling his ear.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know how to get back. In fact, I’m not a hundred percent sure how I got here.”

“You had the power all along. Just click your heels together three times. Haha! 'There’s no place like home.’”

“How can you be so cavalier? I might be stuck here!”

“Klaus, don’t be ridiculous!” She gets up, reaches into his coat, and tosses him the puzzle device.

“You’re going to have to show me how this thing works.”

“Might want to put your clothes on first.”

Master list

@elliethesuperfruitlover @miraclesoflove @bitch4bagels @bi-satanist @punknatch @ringpopdust @valkyries-for-valhalla @dandycandy75 @vinawyatt

[highgaarden]

What have been your favorite stories to write?

hmmm i have to think!! i’ve definitely had the most fun writing au’s because i enjoy the mental exercise of having these characters exist in a universe where they have the chance to be anybody but themselves - but still remain intrinsically themselves. so! in no particular order at the top of my head:

put down your sword and crown  //  The Originals have thirty days left to live, and all Rebekah wants to do is learn how to drive. Stefan, Kol, Klaus and Caroline come along for the ride. canon-divergent season 3 goodness!!!

all you need to grow inside my spine // soulmates au! witchy shenanigans! caroline & the original siblings! 

make it so divine // celebrities/actors au! self-indulgent social media catastrophes! and my undying love for christopher nolan!!!!

12:51 // future fic where caroline and bonnie as superhero vigilantes! damon running a blog he insists on calling ‘journalism’ to track their deeds & misdeeds! klaus finagling his way into the a-team!

this town is colder now, i think it’s sick of us // dark and gritty non-linear supernatural noir au!!

anthems for a seventeen-year-old girl (and its sequels) // season 3 canon-divergent fic where caroline is a human, freshly moved to mystic falls unknowing of the founding families’ legacies, stuck in the middle of a weird fang-rimmed chaos where still nobody tells her anything. time to buffy up and figure things out for herself, then. the three fics in the series all feature ensemble characters.