#with dude wipes on his list

[pizza-feverdream]

Fun fact about me ive been collecting groceries lists that people leave on the floor at my job for like six months

[kadextra]

I got to thinking about q!Bad’s memory lapses again and just realized how mixed up this poor guy might be with them post-island reset??

he’s gonna completely forget places and things like he’s done before, but they will Actually Not Be There Now. the feeling something is missing, wiped from the land, which is soon to be filled by new activity. recognition fading in and out as old clashes with new, difficulty to use the surroundings as an anchor bc what used to be familiar isn’t anymore…

[wheeboo]

to love and be loved | jeon wonwoo

SYNOPSIS. in which wonwoo tells you about his first (and only) love. PAIRING. jeon wonwoo x gn!reader GENRE. fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers WARNINGS. self-doubt talk on reader's end, self-indulgent wooweee, this was painfully hard to write lmao n have no idea if any of this makes sense WORD COUNT. 1.6k

requested from anon: Hiiiiiiii first of all congratssss for you 2k. For the event, ive been thinking the same exact story with wonwoo and #6 from list 3 - #6: “You’re not hard to love, nor are you unlovable. You just… Need to let me in, and let me show you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else is.”

notes: i'd quite literally do anything to have these kinds of talks with wonwoo ☹️☹️. anyway i hope u all enjoy this <3 hits close to home >< tysm anon hehe <3

join the 2k celebration!

"Hey, uh, Wonwoo?"

"Mhm?"

"...have you ever been in love?"

A cricket chirps into the evening air right after you ask, and you suddenly feeling like you're holding in a long-winded breath. Then you hear a loud crunch by Wonwoo from the crackers he was snacking on, and you blink up to him wiping away the corner of his mouth. There's the slightest glimpse of a curve to his lips that you manage to catch.

He silently offers you a cracker in your direction, the anticipating silence between the two of you growing thickly. You take the cracker from his hand, muttering a quiet thanks, before nibbling on it absentmindedly.

The night is absolutely beautiful right now, swearing that you could spot and make out the constellations above if you squinted hard enough. The distant chirping of crickets is the only sound that breaks the silence as the coolness of the night rolls in, carrying with it slight breeze that whispers through the leaves overhead the balcony of your apartment.

"I have."

You swiftly turn your head to him, eyes widening intriguingly. "You have?"

The chuckle that leaves him is somewhat awkward, a tad bit hesitant. He crumples up the bag of crackers and sets it aside, chugging down the last sips of his drink and setting down the empty can as well.

"Did you... ever confess to them?" You ask, suddenly feeling curious, though there's a bit of disappointment at the tip of your tongue.

You swear you could see the thoughts swirling around his head. Wonwoo keeps his eyes fixed up to the night sky. There's a distant look in his eyes, as though he's peering into some past moment that only he can see, before he shakes his head, a faint smile crossing over his lips.

"No, I didn't," he answers calmly. "They were too far away, so... I just chose to admire them at a distance."

You lean back against the wall behind, your shoulder momentarily brushing against his. "Did they know you?"

Wonwoo purses his lips together. "Mhm."

"Well, you missed your chance!" You exclaim, prodding him playfully with your elbow. "I can't believe you let them get away, dude. Like right through the little cracks of your fingers. You could've been in a relationship by now."

This earns you a low, playful scoff from Wonwoo. "Are you assuming that they loved me back?"

Immediately, you feel the heat crawl up your neck and to the tips your ears.

"Well, um... Yeah, I am," You admit sheepishly, letting out a small sigh. "I mean, who wouldn't fall for a guy like you? You're nice and... charming. I think anyone would be lucky to be loved by you."

There's a silence that falls between the two of you, one simply more than just comfortable yet denser than ever, because the thought of being loved by Wonwoo seems to linger longer than you notice. You steal a glance at him, seeing his face still turned upwards towards the night sky and the moonlight reflecting on his glasses. Strands of his dark hair blow across his forehead in the breeze. You can't quite decipher his expression, but a flicker of something𑁋perhaps surprise, maybe even amusement𑁋dances on his features for a brief moment.

He finally turns back to you, a small, hesitant smile playing on his lips. "You think so?"

"Yeah," You confirm, nodding lightly. "Absolutely."

Wonwoo still keeps his eyes on you as you glance away, seeing the way you fidget with your hands in your lap and smoothing out the creases in your pants nervously. He glances down at his own hand and back at yours, lips pursing together in contemplation, but only folds his fingers back together the second you reach over him to grab the crumpled-up bag of crackers. He feels a little bit too warm in his sweater right now.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

A crunch echoes through the air. Then another. And another.

"I've just been kinda... thinking a lot lately, I guess," You reply slowly, quietly. "And it sort of makes me sound desperate in a way, but there are times I just wonder if, um... if anyone has ever felt the same way about me."

Wonwoo tilts his head slightly. "Love?"

"Not just love, but... seeing me, you know?" Being able to talk about this out loud makes your chest feel heavy. "Since it's hard these days to find someone who sees you for who you are, not for who you can be. I... I just feel like I'm hard to love sometimes. Hell, maybe even unlovable. It’s hard to break out of that mindset when things get hard again.”

A thoughtful quietness seeps through the nighttime breeze, which sends goosebumps up and down your skin, but you don't mind it because you know that Wonwoo is listening either way. And the more you think about it𑁋the thought of knowing that he's here, with his presence is right next to you𑁋it seems to comfort you more than you notice.

There's a small hum of acknowledgement that you hear from his end, unsure if it's just your imagination or if he's actually responding as your mind feels a little jumbled up right now. But then Wonwoo shifts beside you, his arm lightly pressing against yours.

"But I... I think I've reached a point in time where I can say I love myself a little more than a few years ago, or last year, or even just yesterday," You continue to ramble a bit aimlessly, chuckling dryly to yourself. "It’d be nice to share that with someone too, you know? To finally get over this loneliness. But it's not entirely a sad loneliness or a happy one. It's, like, uh... both put together, I guess."

A few moments of silence pass. You feel Wonwoo gently nudge your leg with his.

"I'm proud of you."

You peer up to look at him, mind nearly going blank from the way he's gazing at you. Or maybe it's just the moonlight that's making him appear so... picturesque. "What for?"

"For loving yourself, silly," Wonwoo muses almost cheekily, and the delighted tone that you catch makes your stomach leap. "Even if it's just by a small percentage than yesterday, it's still okay. You're doing good. I want you to know that."

You're doing good. It's just those three singular words that has heat forming in your eyes that you somehow manage to blink back before anything could spill, and hearing it come from Wonwoo feels different. There's a vulnerable sweetness to them, a sincerity that catches you off-guard. You force a smile𑁋a grateful one, nonetheless𑁋before it shifts into a frown.

And Wonwoo catches it right away. "What's wrong?"

Your lips form a thin line, pressing together in thought. You refuse to acknowledge why you think your heart feels slightly... jealous.

"I hope whoever you loved before knows how lucky they are one day," You say to him. "if you're still in love with them, that is..."

Wonwoo stills for a minute, pensively. "I am."

"You are?"

"I never stopped."

You stare at him for a few moments, an eyebrow lifted in disbelief at him, before crossing your arms together and letting out a small, incredulous laugh. "Then you should've said that you're in love with them, idiot."

Wonwoo sucks in a breath.

"I'm in love with you."

You blink instinctively, once, twice, three times, momentarily thinking that Wonwoo's presence might somehow disappear into thin air. But he's still there𑁋a certain softness in the way he's looking at you, a gentleness that seems to wrap around you like a warm embrace𑁋waiting for you. His words suspend heavily in the air, and maybe the world is also holding its breath just as you are too.

"And... You're not hard to love, nor are you unlovable. You're far from that," Wonwoo continues, voice tender, fond, and soft as a lullaby. "You just... need to let me in, and let me show you you're just as worthy of love as anyone else is."

You could only sit merely frozen at this point, throat tightened and jaw dropped in shock among many other weird, fuzzy feelings happening throughout your body. Something between relief and disbelief. Hope and hesitancy. Comfort and uncertainty. You have the capacity to run yet you choose not to𑁋you're letting him in, letting the warmth of his words seep into the cracks of your doubt.

Your mind reels dizzily, almost like the world has been tilting away off-balance.

"You... You're in love with me?" You repeat, almost dumbly, because you cannot seem to fathom anything that's been said in the past few moments. "All that talk about earlier... about who you..."

Wonwoo hangs his head down low, rubbing at his neck in a bashful manner. "It was about you."

"And you never... you never told me?"

"Honestly, I'd like to think a part of it was you being a tad bit oblivious." And then he just simply grins, his nose crinkling along with it. "But that's okay. Watching you slowly figure yourself out made me realise that maybe I needed to find myself a little more too."

You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, and you could feel the heat of embarrassment spreading painfully throughout your face. At first, you have the urge to brush it all away as a silly misunderstanding. Maybe laugh it off, retreat back inside, and go to sleep pretending all of this didn't happen. But the sincerity in his eyes stops you.

You lick your dry lips, the cool night air beginning to feel a lot less suffocating.

"Did you?" You ask vaguely, before shaking your head repeating, "Did you... find yourself?"

Wonwoo lets his eyes roam over you, taking you in, before leaning back on the wall and bringing his gaze back up toward the night sky. Your eyes refuse to leave him, and perhaps this is what it's like to admire someone from afar and close up all at once.

The two of you take a deep, deliberate exhale together.

"Yeah," he answers, smiling softly. "I think I found myself right where I want to be."

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[louisferrignojr]

since the show is coming back tomorrow (!!!) and people seem to be a little bit confused about Tommy Kinard's canon character traits, as extrapolated from the source material, let's review, shall we?

Tommy put everything on the line, risked his job, not to mention entire life, by agreeing to fly Hen and Chimney and two more guys he's never even met before through a hurricane to maybe find (the wreckage of) a cruise ship that his old captain was on. He did it because Chimney called him and asked for a favour (also seen in 2x14, Broken) and because he trusts Hen's instincts (evidenced in 2x09, Hen Begins)

Tommy lied through his teeth to his co-worker when he stepped in to save Hen's unsuccessful bullshitting and made fake mouth static at the fire chief pretending the connection is bad before disconnecting the call. If there was nothing wrong with the cruise ship, he would have been fired, or at the very least suspended.

okay, what do we know so far? Tommy is loyal to his friends even if they haven't talked in years, he is dependable and will come through in a crisis.

we also know Tommy is a very skilled and competent pilot (given he's able to operate both the plane in 2x14 and helicopter in 7x03) and he flew said helicopter through a hurricane, landed it on the belly of a capsized ship, rescued the survivors, and flew everyone back to safety. and given the extremely dangerous conditions of the rogue rescue mission, I'd say he's also brave and/or a little bit reckless; when the situation calls for it, at least.

he's also super cool, an opinion shared by multiple characters (Buck, Christopher, and Chimney).

that being said, let's move on to 7x04

Tommy agreed to give Buck a tour of Harbor station, meaning he had to go to work on his day off, and then offered him flying lessons. So he's either super nice or he's interested in the cute guy (i think it's a little bit of both)

Tommy invited Eddie, a guy he barely knows, to a sold out big reunification bout, with ringside tickets that he got from the organiser, who he's apparently friends with, and flew them in a chopper! He's just a super nice dude.

Tommy offered to drive Eddie to the hospital, and talked about The Incident with him, because when he gets to Buck's loft, he says "he [Eddie] feels bad, in fact we both do" and honestly, he had no obligation to do any of that. He could have let Buck drive Eddie since he offered and wiped his hands clean of that mess. But he's a caring and considerate person, further evidenced by the fact that...

Tommy went to Buck's loft before he had to go to work, to talk to him in person and clear the air, saying he didn't want to do it on the phone or in a text. Tommy starts by apologising and stating very clearly that he never meant to come between Buck and Eddie and that neither of them meant to exclude Buck. He also easily reciprocated Buck's vulnerability. I think the loft scene alone does a great job at showing us that Tommy doesn't shy away from confrontation or a difficult conversation, is emotionally mature, values open and honest conversation, and owns up to his flaws and insecurities. (Yeah, I'm trying to be concise. There's meta upon meta about the goddamn loft scene)

He's also a little bit insane because why does hearing that the cute guy maimed his best friend make you want to kiss him. Tommy Kinard will see a red flag and pretend to be colourblind. (-> for tumblr purposes this is a joke)

anyway, moving on, Saturday rolls around...

Tommy noticed that Buck was a little tense, reassured him that no one's looking at them, and sympathised with him. He doesn't judge Buck, like, at all. I don't need to list all the ways Buck made an absolute fool of himself on their very first date. He also paid for the dinner.

Tommy cut the date short (abruptly, because this is a drama show) but before he left, he told Buck he's adorable, but not ready - and this is right after Buck forcefully shoved him back in the closet in front of their mutual friend, and especially after Tommy told him about his own difficult journey coming out of the closet.

Tommy showed up at the café, told Buck he has nothing to apologise for, and explained that he cut the date short because didn't want to pressure Buck.

Tommy asks Buck if he's absolutely sure, about Tommy being his date at his sister's wedding. Then says okay.

more character traits for Tommy Kinard: generous, non-judgmental, sympathetic, patient, and once again, a little bit insane.

night of Chimney's bachelor party/day of Maddie and Chimney's wedding:

Tommy shows up to the bachelor party even though he's on call for work, you know, as a firefighter pilot, and he could have spent this time sleeping or resting in case he gets called... and he does, to a wildfire! Before he goes he promises Buck that he'll try his damndest to make it to the wedding.

Tommy shows up as promised, after spending at least half a day fighting a wildfire? In his turnouts, covered in soot, but he shows up as promised.

I think this shows he is selfless first and foremost because he made time to show up to the (failed) bachelor party and he is honest and keeps his promises. Even if that means bringing a biohazard (himself) to a place full of vulnerable sick people (the hospital). Because, as previously established, he's a little bit insane.

these are the core Tommy episodes of season 7.

as for 7x09 and 7x10:

Tommy tenses up when confronted with his old captain Gerrard - who then subtly throws a slur at his face

Tommy is quick with the sass and will not indulge in his nosey friends' inquisitive questions

Tommy notices Buck's mood and checks in with him - he's caring and attentive

Tommy once again does not hesitate to admit to feeling jealous

Tommy doesn't really talk to his dad

Tommy likens his dad to captain Gerrard

Tommy admits that having Gerrard as his captain did not make him a better person (and okay, sidenote to talk about something that annoys me about this, because Tommy had different captains, including Bobby, while at the 118, and I think s7 canon seriously overestimated how long he worked under Gerrard, but let's say Gerrard was his first captain as a probie and influenced him to a certain extent)

some odd tidbits ~

Tommy has a sarcastic, deadpan sense of humour

Tommy is a goddamn flirt and unbelievably smooth

Tommy came out after he transferred from the 118 to the 217/Harbor Station

Tommy used to be a pilot in the army

Tommy flies for fun on his days off

Tommy plays basketball every other Thursday with Eddie and other first responders

Tommy knows muay thai

Tommy has a car lift and knows his way around an engine

Tommy likes watching half-naked pummel each other

Tommy likes karaoke trivia

Tommy likes craft beer, monster trucks, and the movie 'Love, Actually' (provided canon doesn't forget about this and/or retcons it for some reason)

[misctf]

The New Doctor

“Oh come on, another one?” Dr. Luke Hoffer groaned as his pager went off.

Another patient to add to the growing list. He walked briskly towards the room where his newest patient awaited him. The young doctor knew he shouldn’t feel this burnt out already. He just graduated medical school a few months ago, but they weren’t lying when they said this part of his training would be busy. He couldn’t recall the last time he had a night off, and the hospital he was rotating at didn’t have the best clinical support. But he did his best to put on a smile as he entered his new patient’s room.

“Bro, what’s up?” Luke maintained his smile but inwardly cringed.

“Mr. Reedy, correct?” Luke asked. The name sounded familiar. One of the senior doctors shared the same last name. But unlike Dr. Reedy, this man looked like your stereotypical bro. Similar to the frat guys who Luke used to see piss drunk during his college EMS days, “I see you must’ve injured your arm there.”

“Dude, the name is Cole.” Cole chuckled dumbly, “Mr. Reedy is my dad’s name.” Luke nodded. He didn’t have time for this, “But yeah broski, totally wiped out. Brett said I couldn’t climb a tree drunk, but like I knew I could.”

‘Evidently not.’ Luke thought, jotting down a few notes.

“And like, I know what you’re thinking. Broken arm. Must’ve fucked up and like I did, bro. But I made it to the top.” Cole smirked and went to punch the air victoriously but recoiled from the pain, “So yeah doc. That’s why I’m here.”

“I see, well thank you for sharing.” Luke replied, “Would you mind if I just listened to your heart and lungs? I’ll check out your arm in just a moment.” Cole nodded and Luke started his exam.

“Oh sick dude. I’ve always thought those steth... stetho-things... the ear listeny thingies were pretty sick.”

“Stethoscope.” Luke said bluntly, leaning in to listen, “And I need you to be quiet during this part of the...”

BURRRRPPPPPP

Luke recoiled as the most foul smelling burp blasted him in the face. It smelled of cheap beer and chicken wings. He immediately took a step back and did his best to hold back a gag. Cole blushed and chuckled awkwardly.

“Sorry bro, maybe you should check out my stomach.” He chuckled.

Luke forced a grin, all while mentally gagging. Maybe Cole was right about that. Whatever had crawled into Cole’s stomach and died definitely needed more help.

______________________

Luke sat at his desk after finishing his exam with Cole. Luckily there hadn’t been any other surprise burps. The young doctor continued typing away, trying to get as much paperwork done before the next inevitable wave of new patients. He hoped they weren’t like Cole. Sure, there was nothing outright wrong with the guy. But he reminded Luke of all the stereotypical meatheads he encountered growing up. Words like brash, loud, stupid, sexy... Sexy?

‘Where did that come from?’ Luke thought as he massaged his temples, ‘Must be from lack of sleep. Yeah, totally.’ He yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“Dr. Hoffer.” Luke turned towards the nurse that called his name, “Your patient in room 15 wanted to talk.” She raised an eyebrow and Luke looked at her quizzically, “Um, Dr. Hoffer, uhhh.” It looked like she was choosing her words carefully, “Have you been using a new deodorant?”

Luke raised an eyebrow, “Uh no, why?” He raised his arm and was taken aback by the massive pit stain. But worse yet, the smell that followed caused him to gag, “Oh god, I must’ve forgot tonight.” He blushed, “Thanks, I’ll grab a new top and I should have some extra deodorant in my locker.” She nodded and Luke groaned as she left, “How fucking embarrassing.” He mumbled.

______________________

“Yo doc, what’s good?” Cole grinned when Luke entered his room.

“I heard you wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah bro.” He chuckled dumbly, “I uh forgot tbh.” Luke did his best to hide his annoyance, “But uh, like do you have anything that can help me with my gains?”

“Your gains?” Luke couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “No, nothing in particular. Just keep going to the gym.”

“Fuck I love the gym.” Cole remarked, “Yo doc, did you hit the gym or somethin’ after we talked. You’re lookin’ swole bro.”

Luke raised an eyebrow. Yeah, he hit the gym once in a while. Mostly cardio and occasional light weights. But he wasn’t someone you’d describe as swole. But when he looked down at himself, he couldn’t help but notice that his arms were just a tad tighter at the sleeves. And in general, the scrub top seemed to be a tighter fit, especially around his chest.

‘Must’ve grabbed a small or something.’ He thought and turned back to Cole, “I had to change my scrub top. Totally forgot to wear deodorant tonight, bro.” Cole grinned but Luke blushed. First, why did he tell Cole he forgot deodorant? And second, why did he just call his patient bro?

“Yo, you and me both, man.” Cole chuckled and took a whiff of his pit, “Smells ripe tonight. Nothin’ wrong with letting your natural scent come through.” He raised his hand to give Luke a fist bump.

“No thank you, I uh need to go see another patient.” Luke said, quickly rushing out of Cole’s room.

______________________

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” Luke turned to face his newest patient- an older woman with stomach pain.

“Uh yeah, sorry.” He said, scratching his firm chest absentmindedly.

“I don’t think you were.” She replied. Luke internally groaned. Just another entitled boomer, “It looks like you’re more interested in that stupid game.” She gestured to the TV.  

“Stupid game?” Luke chuckled. Baseball was far from stupid, although Luke couldn’t understand why he was suddenly so interested in it, “Well yeah, tonight’s the big game. Like, if they win tonight, they’ll go to the playoffs.”

The woman’s face flushed red with anger, “Get out, I want to see another doctor.”  

Luke shrugged, “Fine by me.” He barely noticed the hairs now poking out from his collar.

But when he left the room, something dawned on him. Did a patient just fire him? He narrowed his eyes, confused at what just happened. He was always commended on his professional demeanor and good patient relationships. This wasn’t like him. He turned around and entered the room.

“Hi ma’am, I’m sorry for my behavior. Is it okay if we restart?” He asked politely.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” The woman huffed.

And so Luke was able to breathe a sigh of relief. And despite his urge to turn and watch the big game, he did his best to do a thorough exam.

______________________

Sitting at his desk, Luke pulled up the baseball game on his computer. He could watch and write notes at the same time. But the real distraction was his increasingly more uncomfortable scrub top. The sleeves were definitely way too tight on his arms and for a fleeting moment he thought that it would be best to go shirtless. But he shook the thought out of his mind and started typing.

“Patient presented with abdominal pain likely secondary to cholelith... chole...” He narrowed his eyes as he tried to think of the correct medical term. He should know this- it was basic, “Likely secondary to big stones.” He wrote confidently. He scratched his chin and was met with something that he knew couldn’t be right. He quickly pulled out his phone and looked at himself in the camera, “Since when did I grow a beard?” He whispered, “I swear... I mean I had some fuzz but it never grows this quick.” But before he could think more on it, another page came through, “Of course...” He whispered.

______________________

“Dude! Where’ve you been?” Cole asked as Luke entered his room, “Doc, you don’t look so good.”  

It was true. Luke looked and felt nauseous. The walk over was weird. He felt heavier somehow and unfamiliar in his own body. Each step required more thought as he adjusted to these new sensations.

“It’s nothing, brah.” Luke commented, barely registering what he said, “So uh, like what did ya call me in here for?”

Cole grinned, “Dude! Have you been watching the game?” Luke nodded, his eyes filling with joy.

“Bro! It’s awesome. Did you see that homer?”

“You fuckin’ know it. By the way, wanna come back to my place and watch? A few of the bros are there and we’ve got beer. And Andy’s bringing his sis. The one with the fat tits.”

Luke chuckled, his voice deepening as he did, “Dude that sounds sick, and like beer is awesome but I’m more into dudes.” Cole’s eyes widened.

“Wait really bro?” He said and Luke feared he was about to be judged, “Same, man! Huhuhuh I just mentioned Andy’s sister ‘cause I assumed you’d be into that.”

“Nah bro, I’d much rather suck you off.” Luke’s eyes widened this time as the words left his mouth. And while Cole’s smile widened, Luke was hit by a bombardment of thoughts telling him this was wrong, “Shit, I shouldn’t have...”

“I won’t tell anyone dude.” Cole remarked, “Besides, I could go for quickie right about now.”

“No, this isn’t right.” Luke insisted, “I uh... I need to go finish some notes.” He quickly left the room, not noticing that his scrub top was now straining against his growing musculature-threatening to rip at any moment.

______________________

Luke was growing more frustrated by the second. He tried to sit down to work on his notes, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember basic medical terminology. Nor could he remember the correct format of a medical note. He instead opted to stare blankly at the baseball game.

“Sir, you shouldn’t be back here.” Luke looked up to see his nurse standing over him, “It’s for employees only.”

“Huhuhuh very funny, brah.” Luke replied with a grin, “But like, I’m the doc around here.” He went to fish out his ID but was struggling to find it, “Uhhh like... just give me a second here...”

She raised an eyebrow, “Look sir, I’ll have to call...”

RIPPPPPPPPPPP

The nurse blushed as Luke’s scrub top finally tore and fell to the ground, revealing his chiseled pecs and tight abdominal muscles. Luke for his part, didn’t really seem to care as he continued to search for his ID. He looked up at her and chuckled.

“Must’ve lost it, bro.” Luke remarked, scratching the back of his head. His exposed pit filled the room with his masculine musk, “Uh like...”

“Sir, I’m going to have to call security if you don’t leave immediately.” The nurse said firmly, doing her best to not stare at the hunk in front of her.

“But like, I’m the doc.” Luke insisted, growing somewhat frustrated, “Like look.” He gestured to his stethoscope, “Doctors always have steth... stetho-things... the ear listeny thingies.”

“Stethoscopes.” The nurse replied, raising an eyebrow, “And I’m pretty sure a doctor would know what they were called.”

“Huhuhuh I guess you’re right about that, brah.” Luke chuckled dumbly, “Well like, fine... I’d rather hang out with my bros anyway.”

Luke stood up. If they didn’t want him here, he’d go somewhere that people would. He walked with a confident swagger to room 15.

______________________

“Bro! Looking swole! Where’d your top go?” Cole asked as Luke entered the room.

“Dude, my muscles can’t be contained.” Luke chuckled dumbly, flexing his biceps, “But like, let’s get out of here, brah. Everyone here’s an asshole.”

“Bro, I hear ya.” Cole remarked, “Why’d ya think I took a break from this place?”

Luke’s slow brain was confused, “Whatcha talkin’ about?”

“Dude! You don’t recognize me? Cole Reedy? Dr. Reedy? Well not really anymore I guess.” His dumb laughter filled the air. Luke just chuckled along with him, “So, you ready to get the fuck outta here?”

Luke nodded enthusiastically, “I heard there’re some bros watchin’ the big game. And beer.”

“Yeah man! And I also heard there’s a guy lookin’ to suck some dick.” Cole grinned. A lightbulb went off in Luke’s smaller brain and he grinned.

“You know what they say, brah. A blowjob a day keeps the doctor away.” Luke chuckled at his own joke and the two bros fist bumped.

Luke couldn’t fully process what happened to him that night. Or how he wound up sucking Cole’s dick in the back of his truck. Or how he eventually got dared to climb a stupid tree while drunk. Or how he now found himself in the emergency room, this time as a patient. But what he did know, as he burped in the face of the doc taking care of him, was that he couldn’t wait for their newest bro to join their ranks.

[courtneedsatoru]

The Way of the HouseBoyfriend: Satoru Gojo x Reader

Synopsis: in which you persuade your boyfriend, Satoru Gojo, to play househusband with you for just one day. It’s going to a breeze because he’s good at everything—or so he thinks. Perhaps he had underestimated the way of the househusband.

Word count: 2.2k

Content: fluff, suggestive, crack, domesticity, thirst traps, kisses, female reader

“Just try it, Satoru. Just one day as my cutie houseboyfriend!”

Satoru Gojo was screwed, and not in the way he wanted to be with you on top of him. Turns out, being the honored one, the strongest sorcerer in history, meant he had little time at home to do the laundry, clean, and make proper meals.

The time supposed to be spent for chores was spent on you: he would never neglect you, ever. He’s always there for planned dates, always there for snuggles and kisses, always there for you, only you, by the end of the night. He’d do his best to take care of you in his own particular way. If you don’t feel like cooking that night, he’d bring home fried chicken or Chinese take out. While you would wash the dishes, Satoru would dry them with his Infinity in the blink of an eye (and complain that you were too slow, annoyed that you should be giving HIM the attention and not those damn dishes).

His workarounds were… passable, for the most part. You were so, so, so understanding. Truly. You knew that at times, you’d have to step up to maintain your little world with Satoru while he was out there kicking ass in the outside world. But by the sixth time Satoru stains your white blouse, you snapped.

“How many times do I have to tell you to NOT mix the darks and whites,” you gritted out. You were sick and tired of bleaching your shirts over and over again despite Satoru’s protest that he could just buy you more. “No, Satoru, it doesn’t work like that! It’s not resourceful and not good for the environment,” you’d answer back for the nth time. Enough was enough. Today is the day you’d train this menace your lovely partner the way of the houseboyfriend.

You clasp your hands eagerly together. “Who knows, if you do above and beyond, I might even promote you to househusband.”

Now that catches Satoru’s attention. His heart is beating two times faster, pumping blood straight down to his—

“Be my wife,” Satoru blurts out. Any conscience of thinking before acting is defenestrated whenever he’s with you. Just the idea of being tied to you, sincerely and forever yours, sends him into a mental frenzy. He wipes away the drool pooling at the corner of his lips with his sleeve.

You lift his blindfold up just enough to look at him in the eyes. “Maybe,” you tease with a wink that makes him throb, both in his heart and his d—. “You have to earn it though. And you do that by completing everything on the list I so kindly made for you.”

buy vegetables, tofu, and chicken

wash the windows (they’re so dusty!)

do the laundry—DO NOT MIX COLORS, I REPEAT, DO NOT MIX COLORS

fold the laundry <3

cook rice

You don’t trust Satoru to make dinner yet. Okay, technically he CAN cook (instant ramen), but that doesn’t mean he was GOOD at it. Satoru would often get distracted and end up burning the meal.

“Psh, that’s it? Baby, it’s only six things, it can’t be that hard. If this was all it took to be your husband, then I would have done it earlier!” Satoru boasts.

“That’s the thing. You should’ve done it earlier without any incentive or me telling you to do so.” Those words tug on Satoru’s heartstrings while simultaneously igniting a fire in him. He wants to be a perfect boyfriend soon-to-be husband, and he is going to prove to you that he is the one for you.

“Oh god, I have to have you,” Satoru murmurs and leans in for kiss. He whines when you stop him, hands cupping his face in place.

“Baby, my dude. Did you even hear what I just said?”

“I’ll be your perfect househusband everyday from now on. Won’t ever disappoint you again.” Satoru puckers his lips. He wants a kiss.

“Yes, yes, Satoru. I have to go to work now. When I get back, I expect the house to be nice and tidy and the rice to be cooked.”

You lean in to give him a short and sweet goodbye kiss. Satoru is hungry though. He likes the “sweet,” but not the “short.”

“One more.” Demanding, much? You shake your head. One more which means two more which means ten more. If you give him an inch, he will take a mile.

“I’ll give you so much when I come home from work. I’ll see you later, my sweets! Or should I call you my houseboyfriend?”

Satoru groans when you leave. Of all days, you just had to be working when he gets a day off. No matter. By the end of today, he will be your official househusband.

. . . . . . . . . .

Satoru was off to a good start, for he acquired the chicken breasts. The first time, his meany girlfriend smacked him on the butt for getting fried chicken the last time he was sent off on an errand. He thought that the love of his life would be too exhausted to cook when she got home from a long day of work... but he didn't take into account he had brought home fried chicken the past three nights!

The second time, Satoru actually did his job and brought home chicken breasts. He was going to take matters in his own hands (not a good idea) and make a "marry me" chicken to express his infinite adorations for her.

Except… it even possible to candy a chicken?

Satoru seasoned thoroughly on behalf of Gordon Ramsay's YouTube advice. Except that more-than-generous pinch of salt was not salt, but sugar! Not that Satoru could tell the difference, for he grabbed the first jaw he saw with mysterious white powder inside. Satoru ignored the dark brown crust of caramel on the outside, convincing himself it was just the pan’s fault.

He THOUGHT he was being smooth, sneaking a candy ring in between the butterfly cut of the chicken. But you couldn't even make it past the first bite, nonetheless reach the center of the chicken where the hidden gem lay. Hence, severe kitchen restrictions were set in stone on that faithful day.

Now, all that's left for Satoru to buy are tofu and vegetables.

Do potato chips count as vegetables? Ooh, sour cream and jalapeño-flavored chips! Jalapeño counts too, right? Satoru shrugs and tosses it in the shopping basket. Maybe, he should get at least one vegetable that isn’t processed so his partner won’t yell at him.

He spots a big-ass carrot, finding its size and shape comical. It’s definitely big, but surely not as big as his d—

BUY FOUR GET THE FIFTH ONE FREE!!

Ohohoho, just what his girlfriend needs: tofu! How could he miss that golden deal? Without hesitation, Satoru loads his basket up with ten packs of tofu. According to his calculations, he’s getting two packs for free! Not that it matters, because he can buy all of the tofu in this store and it wouldn’t make a dent in his bank account. But doesn’t it feel so gratifying knowing his lover will be so proud of him for saving money?

Satoru proudly struts out of the grocery store but there’s a feeling that’s gnawing at him, nagging him that he’s forgetting something. No matter; he’d make it up by getting lots of sweet treats for his dearest sweetheart (as if, Satoru wouldn’t finish all of the desserts first by the end of the week). Satoru mindlessly struts through the store, grabbing whatever he sees “necessary” to stock the pantry.

Chocolate cookies were a classic. He couldn’t forgo edamame-flavored mochis. Olive oil ice cream might pair nicely with that. He sighs as he begrudgingly tosses in a box of oatmeal raisin cookies that he knows his girlfriend likes, even if he deems it only for the ‘oldies.’

. . . . . . . . . .

Satoru Gojo does not want to clean windows. He wants you: to see you, to talk to you, to feel you. But noooo, he's stuck scrubbing these dusty motherfuckers. He NEEDS to spice things up a bit. He wouldn’t be Satoru Gojo without a little mischief.

Satoru props up his phone on the counter and peels off his shirt. Oh, he knows he is the package, from those defined planes for tits to that teasing v-line dipping down down down... He lubes his abs with a generous amount of dish soap to create a glistening ✨ sheen ✨ so that the light will reflect off his abs.

Except the lighting was terrible! The ceiling lights were not doing his six pack justice. Satoru opens the window but to his dismay, his blonde-haired neighbor who just wants to take out the trash in peace catches him shirtless and red-handed with a bottle of dish soap in hand. Satoru waves even though sees his neighbor’s shoulders shrug up and down in a heavy sigh.

‘Oh well. Nanami’s lucky to have such a view anyways.’

Satoru presses record and films excess dish soap dripping down his apps and just right before it wets the waistline of his pants, he scoops it up with his fingers and smears it against his pecs because of the tease he is.

“You’re missing out, baby~�� Satoru winks. “This househusband has been a good boy washing the windows, and now he’s waiting for you to come home.”

He smooches the camera and presses send.

(Poor poor Nanami stayed to witness his shenanigans.)

Why are you washing the windows with dish soap??? What the hell? Satoru, use Clorox wipes instead. What a waste… *sigh*

I can hear your signature sigh from miles away. It’s not a waste if it’s me 🙃😉

You send three photos to Satoru: the first of you shaking your head in disapproval, the second of you blowing him a kiss, and the third of you licking the whipped cream of the parfait Satoru packed for you for lunch off your finger. Satoru groans loudly as a bolt of heat is shot straight down past his soapy abdominal to his pelvis. He zooms in to your puckered lips wrapped around that little finger of yours, imagining what it would be like if it was something else… something bigger instead.

Excuse poor little Satoru for acting like a dog in heat. He can’t help it! Every little cute thing you do puts him in heat, and Satoru can’t control how his body reacts. It isn’t his fault that you aren’t here so he could show you just how much you affect him. He can’t resist the temptation, whimpering as he slides a hand down to touch the heat radiating from his pants. He should probably close the windows first.

The windows slam shut with a sharp bang, and Satoru manspreads on the couch with a hand between his legs. The picture will have to do for now…

. . . . . . . . . .

The garage creaks open, and Satoru gasps awake. For the past few hours, he was busy... taking care of some... assets... and quite literally passed out to the thought of you. Despite that his body is sticky and his mouth is dry, Satoru bolts up excited to greet the joy of his life.

Holy shit, she’s home!

…

Holy shit, she’s home.

Holy shit, I forgot to do the laundry.

And the rice.

Satoru has five more seconds to act before he gets his ass whooped. Well, more like two seconds because he spent the first three seconds panicking what he should do until he remembered that he's the strongest sorcerer in history.

In 0.05 seconds, he speeds upstairs and shoves the dirty heap of clothes on the floor into the closet, slamming the doors shut to prevent it from spilling out. He spends the next 0.05 seconds teleporting to his trusty neighborhood-friendly Nanami's house, stealing a bowl of freshly cooked rice. In the last second, he throws on an apron to pretend he's been hard at work... cooking rice in the rice cooker? No matter, it's fitting for a househusband who's ready to greet his wife.

The door opens, and Satoru immediately pounces. You are met with a faceful of cleavage, your face smothered with the sweet, slightly musty e s s e n c e of Satoru.

"I missed my wife!" He hugs you tightly.

"I missed my houseboyfriend," you choke out, air knocked out from your lungs. Satoru squeezes you tighter.

"Househusband," he corrects.

"Why are you only wearing an apron and boxers? Where's the rest of your clothes?"

"Because I'm seducing you." Lies. As if he didn't just wake up a few minutes ago. He just didn't have enough time to put himself together. "Is it working?"

"Mm, I'd say so." And you seal his lips with a kiss. "I gotta change out of work clothes, baby. Then I'll show you how to make fried rice."

Satoru gulps. Shit shit shit. He didn't anticipate this. He's about to stop you, but you're already making your way upstairs. He's prepared for you to scream his name but it's surprisingly quiet. Too quiet.

When you come down, you have a calm grin except the corner of your eye is twitching and that you are holding a sandal with a firm grip. A grip so tight that it was as if the sandal you were choking was Satoru's neck.

"Satoru Gojo. Love of my life. Sweetest bean. My dude. No laundry. Rice from a bowl we don’t even own. Dish soap on windows????" You smack the sole of the sandal against your palm. It was going to be a long light.

“Just wait until you see the tofu—” SMACK. If there’s one thing Satoru knew well, perhaps very well, about you, it’s that you never miss.

Houseboyfriend!Satoru was not promoted to househusband!, instead stuck as housedishwasher! for the rest of the week.

Tag list: @cupcaketeddybehr (Hello! You’re a sweetheart 🫶)

A/N: this was chaotic. to the four people who read this before I fixed grammar, I’m so sorry.

[satyricplotter]

NSFW Alphabet — Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and Tim Drake

Be warned, I wrote this for myself but it got so long I was like, I gotta publish this, so a lot of the language is raunchy and joking. It's not polished whatsoever. It is also very fitted to my tastes, which isn't necessarily what I'd do for a story. Use of the second person, reader as gender neutral as I could, but I refer to a variety of scenarios with different genitalia.

WC: 6.7k

Triggers and tags discussed or mentioned: body image, biting, breeding, dubcon, noncon, cnc, mutual noncon, sexual assault (as a different category and a reference to Dick's canon) somnophilia, breath play, watersports, scat, blood, bondage, BDSM in general, pegging (implied), dildos, vibrators, toys in general, sensory deprivation, crying, crossdressing, porn, hentai, anal, PIV, cunnilingus, whatever the proper term for sucking dick is, cum, demeaning terms (cum dump, specifically), fingering, masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, age play, pregnancy and birth control, thigh fucking, frottage, edging, cumming in pants... maybe more. I am tired of listing things. Simply beware.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Dick: somehow I don't think he has much time for aftercare. To me this dude always seems a little on the go and distracted by other things. Like, half the sex you have with him is quickies where upon his departure you gotta tidy yourself up, or they're hours long affairs with few breaks to think about moving. In these latter instances, he takes a long, long time to stand up and get moving after you're done. I think he's always secretly waiting for another last round even when it's clear you're both tapped out. He stays in bed and cuddles, uncaring for the drying substances on either of you. Most often he just kisses you, slow and tender, as he holds you. Eventually you gotta kick him out of bed and clean yourself up and then he's rushing to help you.

Jason: my man is methodical. This is His Job and he has His Way to do it. He keeps his bed crisp, towels at hand, water nearby etc etc. He's always the one to wipe you down, straighten you up if there's still clothes involved. You always whine you wanna cuddle a bit and he's like no. You'll get an UTI. Go pee. We'll cuddle after. And you shuffle sadly to the bathroom. The sheets are new when you come back. He dislikes being rushed and not being able to tidy, so you gotta be very strategic when you know you won't end up in bed.

Tim: Tim's a baby. Tim's the one you gotta clean up, the one you gotta lay down and tell him to stay put. He's very bad with being in the moment if he's got something else going on, so you gotta keep all electronics away from him. Mostly you gather him in your arms and run his fingers through his hair, while he absently traces circles on your skin, and then nods off eventually.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Dick: I think Dick really likes his forearms! A dark horse, of course, considering the stellar butt, but that seems to be a little of a sour point. I think he loves his figure in general, and the graceful line of it. For his partners, I'm thinking the waist to hip area—the tummy essentially, but also the lower back. He loooves to sling an arm around your waist and squeeze, loves to nip at the lower belly, loves a good pinch. He just likes grabbing. The sides of your thighs are always marked with his fingers.

Jason: man's an ass guy. He loves to watch that shit bounce. You can't miss with the bending over. He's behind you immediately, a hand on your hip like hey... As for himself, genuinely I think he likes his hands. They've gone through a lot. You can tell they're pretty banged up. But he's a maker, a fiddler—he builds his gadgets, he pulls the trigger. He's so into precision, I think he appreciates them a lot for the tools they can be. And his fingers pumping in and out of you are never a bad sight.

Tim: He's a cop out and would say brain. He likes his eyes best, I think. He doesn't strike me as the type of man who fixates on any part of his body but rather takes it in as a whole, and as such finds it difficult to like, separate it into pieces unless it's for a specific purpose. Oh, maybe his calves. They're nicely shaped. But his eyes are very pretty and he knows they're charming. As for you, he likes tits (big, small, pecs, etc). Just the chest area in general. Big fan of a nipple. Will suck and bite and twist until you squirm. If you're not sensitive, you simply haven't met him. He'll pavlov your nipples to harden upon seeing him and then smile evilly when you complain. A low cut anything is a direct challenge and he will take it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Dick: nothing will stop this man from coming inside eventually. He'll wear you down talking about how good it will feel to fill you up, or you will eventually come to beg him for it and he'll take the opportunity with no complaint. If you can get pregnant, keep that birth control schedule TIGHT. Nothing he loves more than watching cum dribble out of you. Loves to stuff you with it, loves to rub it over your entrance, loves to watch it squelch as he goes back in to pump you full of more.

Jason: actually very normal about it. He doesn't believe in pulling out, so he wears a condom and disposes of it safely. He does love to cum on your face. That's very much a thing. It's a relatively safe thing to do, and he likes it a lot when you try to catch it all with your mouth but it ends up dripping off your cheek. When your eyelashes are sticky with it—ooh. He knows it hurts if it gets on your eyes, and he apologizes while he wipes it off, but he's already semi hard again so you can't quite believe him.

Tim: if he's topping, he's pretty normal about it. Doesn't feel any type of way about his own cum, though he kinda likes it when you mix it with your own and feed it to him, but that's mostly because he loves your fingers in his mouth. If you're topping (and if you can cum from that inside him), he's suddenly the nation's number one cump dump. Stuff my man up. He can take it. Ooh, he wants to take it. He really, really wants you to blow a load inside him. A lot of the times, it's the feeling of being filled up that has him coming himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dick: he's, like, very into somno, but he hates to bring it up first. The thing with Dick is that he's so good at denying himself things he doesn't care about but the minute he really, really wants something, he struggles real hard not to go get it. And he really wants that pussy (gn). He's the king of guilty fucking. I honestly think he likes being a little ashamed of what he's doing, like it just... Brings flavour to the table. But he's an Upstanding Citizen so while he looks at your ass while you're asleep and imagines what it'd be like if he could just roll your pants down a little and rub the head of his dick against your entrance, he will not speak a word until you bring it up or you find him jerking off over you at the thought of it.

Jason: easiest man to get to sub for you. Doesn't look like it, doesn't wanna admit it, but you get him at the right moment? Oooh baby. He's so easy to unravel, blushing to the tips of his ears and wet all over. You can literally do whatever you like with him in that state. He bounces off your cock (gn) so pretty, though he doesn't enjoy bottoming regularly.

Tim: mfing stalker. He takes pictures of you all the fucking time. You don't know the half of it. And he jacks off to the weirdest shit because it's not so much about how you look in that picture, but the idea of your innocence being corrupted (so corny) (you'd look at it and be like, tim, I can take nudes, you know, you don't have to masturbate to a blurry panty shot taken under the dinner table, you can't even see shit).

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Dick: this is dick grayson we're talking about. Be real. He's been around. He knows his way around the human (and alien, shoutout to my baby Kori) body. Nine out of ten times, he's the most experienced person in the relationship. And not only does he know what he's doing , he's good at it.

Jason: there's about three universes or so where Jason's not a virgin when he meets you. The rest of them my boy's simply too fucked up and/or busy for love, so he just... Doesn't. It doesn't seem to me like having sex was a priority to him, and while I think he regularly gets propositioned, he's the type of dude that just blinks at you until you slink away in shame, so he simply doesn't get laid until he's in a relationship. At most he's fucked two people before he fucks you.

Tim: this is dick grayson 2.0. he pulled steph, he pulled kon, he pulled bernard. He has by far the widest breadth of knowledge about sex, although most of it doesn't come from first hand experience. He hasn't had that much freaky sex, but he knows plenty about it. He's very adventurous.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Dick: oh, eugh, this man think you're a contortionist. He thinks you guys are equals. It doesn't matter how much you tell him he's far more flexible than you, he loves twisting you up into the weirdest positions in the book, and you know what? He's right. You do feel him so much more with your leg up in space and the other one around his ankle.

Jason: doggy. Again, my man loves to watch it jiggle.

Tim: he loves being ridden. Just infatuated with the sight of his cock leaving and breaching your entrance, and your thighs quivering, and how it all gets so wet. I think he'd be more partial to the cowgirl/boy than the reverse bc tits, but yk. Loves to watch you go.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Dick: He's sooooo into getting a laugh out of you with a stupid joke so he can ram into you and watch it catch on your throat. Thinks it's grand. He's the goofiest of them all, but he likes to make you laugh, and doesn't entertain your attempts to be funny. There's only one clown in this bed ☝️ So annoying.

Jason: he can be giggly at the beginning, like laughing into your mouth, but once he gets going, he's pretty serious about it. Not withdrawn, but he doesn't want to joke or, like, have a conversation. He's just laser focused on getting you both off.

Tim: he's alright on the jokes, doesn't particularly bring it to the bedroom. He's a little snappy, but not keen on super goofing around? Rather, I think you'd wanna make him laugh, just to get him to relax, and he'd roll his eyes and scoff but smirk a little. (I'm rlly picturing this with kon rn lmao)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dick: he's got himself trimmed and pretty! I think he just cares about looking good. Not his main concern in life, but, you know.

Jason: he's kinda got to groom himself bc I headcanon that the pit let him some after effects so his nails and hair grows really fast. He doesn't like it, finds it a real chore, but it's like a real bush if he lets it go untamed. And he does it himself, of course.

Tim: I don't think Tim concerns himself much with that, but I also don't think he really needs it. He's the type not to grow that much hair anyway.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Dick: he is so romantic. He's the type to whisper things he doesn't mean, not because he's trying to gaslight you into thinking he has feelings, but because he gets caught up in the heat of the moment and also believes those things should be said. He's soft and coaxing, even when he gets mean, and he's very into small gestures in the sense that he holds your hand when you're going to come, he presses a kiss to your temple. Just loving, I guess, even if he doesn't, like, love you.

Jason: he is unbelievably, unbearably intense. You will not be able to shake him off, emotionally speaking. Even when he's trying not to be intense, he can't help it. There is always so much weight and deliberation to his touch. Under his fingers, you feel the skin of your body bloom with heat. And the eyes. Never stops looking. So sharp and heady. You can't look at him for you, but he forces you to look into his eyes when you're about to come, grabs your chin if you don't wanna.

Tim: it depends on how he feels about you. If it's casual sex, he is very casual about it. He's not one to make promises if they can be used against him lol but if he likes you... You can see the saw trap plans he's concocting in his mind to never get you off his dick again just coming alive in his eyes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Dick: My take is that dick is so funny about this because he so absurdly prefers coming inside you or fucking your thighs or your tits that whenever he can't and has to resort to jacking off, he's kind of churlish about it? Like right at the beginning when he's just starting, you'd just see him pouting with a hand caressing his shaft almost disinterestedly. He's so funny. Then he gets going and comes and is like oh that was a nice experience actually.

Jason: When he begins to jack off while thinking about you, he's ashamed about it for the longest time. It's not the act itself that brings him embarrassment, but the fact that he used to do it kind of perfunctorily, like just... body upkeep, or whatever. A little impatient with it even, just to get it over with. And he didn't think about anyone in particular, just flashes of the stuff he was supposed to think about. Then one day, after he meets you, he's just going at it as usual and the image of you pops into his head. And he can't stop thinking about it. The question of what you look like, how you'd feel under his hands, how you'd sound—it consumes him. When he thinks about you looking at him slouched over his couch, smiling at him and kneeling between his legs, your eyes fixed on him as you offer to help and take him into your mouth—oof. He's never come so much in his life.

Tim: he is so so hot about it. He doesn't think about it that much and is the type to neglect his dick for ages until he has free time and suddenly he has to unleash two weeks worth of cum upon you. So he starts fisting his dick, shuddering at the feeling of finally getting some release, and thinks, I should share this, and starts recording, but because he is evil, he doesn't let you see. He places the phone on his desk (because he's STILL working, he just couldn't hold it any longer), and begins jacking off under his shirt. So you only see his flushed cheeks, the hair covering his eyes, and the way the wet spot on the fabric grows larger and larger as he goes. Near the end that thing's so transparent and sticky you can almost see the angry red head every time it pushes against the fabric—and then he splutters against the fabric with a cry of your name and doesn't even let it dry before he winks at the camera and cuts the video, just as he's going to lift the shirt. Evil.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dick: well, I already said somno and breeding (I don't think he's into it for the children, like, seriously. Like if you can get pregnant and do, it's not going to be a nice surprise. He'll ride it out! But he's got commitment issues.) And thigh fucking. He's unbearable about it, particularly if you're wearing anything that gives him easy access.

Jason: My good honest man. He likes sense deprivation, I think, but he likes it being done to him. He's almost never not being in charge, however, so it doesn't come up often. If almost like a birthday special to him. He's also very into frottage, but I don't know if that counts as a kink? He likes coming in his pants a few times before the real deal.

Tim: is this a kink? He loves to make you cry. He just really likes bullying you to the point you're bawling. You can fuss and kick all you want, and it just turns him on, because the minute he removes himself, you're whining to have him again. I think that's his favourite way to make you cry, just to edge you unendingly until you're sobbing for him. He also likes age play, but he likes to play the younger part. I don't think quite mommy/daddy stuff (depends on the reader), but a bit of an emphasis on the age gap (think the blurry noona/hyung area in korean, when employed sexually. The terms are not translatable but that's the spirit of it).

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Dick: everywhere. Does not discriminate. Inside the house, I think he likes bothering you when you're chilling in the couch. If your lying down there, he'll starts running up a hand between your thighs and he'll stop if you can't carry on the conversation. Outside, I think anywhere that is mildly risky—possibly the park? Kinda loves shoving you between trees and eating you out, or fingering you. When he comes onto you outside, it's mostly to get you to come so you have to hang out there, all sticky, thinking of him. He gets really thrilled by you running out of patience and pulling him out of whatever situation you're in just so you can go home and fuck. Sometimes you don't even make it home. You "force" him to fuck in a bathroom or in the car — closest relatively enclosed space you can find. He really enjoys those releases.

Jason: the bed. Give my boy his space and his nightstands! But outside that, no joke, the kitchen. It's more often than not his kitchen rather than yours, so he's there most often and it's where you find him and put your hands on him. Also god forbid you take anything out of the oven. He just shows up, takes it from your hands, presses you against the counter.

Tim: no joke loves to have you suck him off underneath his desk. He thinks it's funny when you bang your head against the top lmao but he also just likes to see you cramped into a tiny space and all over him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Dick: Hear me out. He likes implied corruption masked as salvation. That sounds dramatic: what he likes is the tension between helping you and succumbing to his own desires. He is very often the more knowledgeable, powerful, etc party, he almost always has some advantage over you, and he likes struggling against the feeling of giving you what you want and thereby taking advantage of you. It's a weird, false dichotomy, but he likes playing the hero a lot, and that makes him feel sometimes like what he wants is selfish, which means he tends to be secretive and manipulative in order to get it, and he winds up doing stuff that is suspicious and much closer to taking advantage of you than just being upfront would've been. And he unfortunately really enjoys those times. I associate him a lot with the "I can't help myself from doing this" sentiment. So to answer the question lol, when you look particularly put together and he gets to mess it up, or when you look at him with big, round eyes, or when you look really fuckable and are not aware of it, he really likes that.

Jason: He's a slow goer. You have to seduce him. He likes the motion of that, likes having you come onto him, likes it when you're flirty and a little risqué just for his benefit. Likes when you're self assured, and when you're a little mean with him. He could watch you forever, but to really make him spring into action, you gotta tell him how badly you need him. That'll bring him to your side in a minute.

Tim: milfs. No joke. I think he's pretty attracted to cheery people he can make fun of. Oh, he really likes riling you up. That shit gets him fired up in a second. You're arguing with him and he's got to adjust in his pants, and he won't go down without a fight. He really, really likes bullying you lol He thinks it's so hot when you're annoyed

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Dick: no watersports/scat/blood (vampire universe exempt), and so on and so forth. It's a bit silly that he gets grossed out by it when he's so into cum, but, you know. Another thing is, he can't really be demeaning. It's not that he doesn't want to, but it never... hits? Like, he's unauthentic about it, in a way, and he's much better at praise. So it's not that he won't do it, but that it's a little mid lol

Jason: I don't think he can do CNC. Even if you really wanna, he just can't play the part without going limp. It's not in him to do that to you. He can't bear to hear you plead with him over that, it makes him feel gross and uncomfortable. He'll talk bad to you if you wanna, though.

Tim: breath play. He doesn't like the feeling of his airways being cut off even when he's at his most mindless, it always kickstarts his survival mode, and he can't choke you either because he doesn't trust himself to stop.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Dick: my good man #1 pussy (gn) eater in the house. He will be there hours. His poor cock will weep unendingly and he doesn't give a single fuck. Matter of fact, that first load after he finally slides into you? Best part of the job. Would not like it half as much without the various orgasms he drew out of you. And he's good at it, obviously. Practiced. I think he's also a decent cock sucker (what an image), but he's way more practiced with a pussy.

Jason: he also likes giving more than receiving, but he is soooooo hot when he lets you suck him off. It's the way he can barely hold back, how he falls apart in your mouth. The way his hands fist your hair despite himself, the way he weighs on your tongue. You have to beg him to let you suck him off first, but christ, if it ain't a gift when he acquiesces.

Tim: receiving, I think. I love to think about him sucking a dick, though. Very pretty. But in general, I think he prefers to be sucked off rather than being the one to give. He's fine at it! And he's not one to shy away from it if you wanna, or offer it when in the mood, but he thinks he's better with his fingers anyway, and he wants his mouth free for your nipples.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Dick: he tends to go more for the slow and sensual. It's part of the romantic vein of his style. He gets really close to you. He is also evil and very rarely loses control of himself, so he will fuck you however he wants, not how you beg him to, and because he's got so much experience, he usually has the better idea of how to get you to come.

Jason: i love him. Can't go slow. Okay, technically, he can, but he's got to work really hard at it. He just likes being inside you so much, he slips into that excitement too easily. His way of fucking is very bruising, very felt, much like his feelings. And again. My man loves to watch it jiggle.

Tim: he's the one man who will listen to how you want it. Mostly because he likes being ridden so you're setting the pace. He usually goes for slower rhythms, though, and if he's toying with you, he goes excruciatingly slow. Also knows to speed up exactly when your patience is about to snap.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Dick: again, half the sex he has is quickies so yeah, he likes them lol. I do think they appeal to him as an expression of unbridled want, in the sense of we want each other so much we have no time to savour one another and we still can't help ourselves from having a fleeting taste.

Jason: he dislikes not having time and space to do everything he wants to do, so he is mostly opposed to them. And he is very good at waiting, though the longer he waits, the longer you end up spending in the bedroom. He's also pretty big so he wants to have the room, time wise, to prep you to take him so the slide is easy and pleasurable for you, and the quickies don't afford him the space for that. He'll do it if you come to him real wet, though.

Tim: he thinks they're fun but he's very bad at them in the sense that once he starts doing you, he is very disgruntled that he has to stop. And he always fucking forgets it so he needles you to let him stick the tip in real quick, c'mon, just five minutes and we're done, and then you're having to bite down on his shoulder to pry him away from you before whoever you're waiting for comes in. And he likes the biting, so it's 50/50 whether he actually comes off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Dick: yep. He's a little more conservative with what he's willing to try, and he doesn't like everything or want to implement it regularly, but he's very open to at least trying it ou. He doesn't come up with a lot of stuff himself, and he doesn't spend time researching on his own, but he'll see something interesting and bring it up next time if he decides he likes it enough to play out.

Jason: Jason has... categories. He's very intuitive when it comes to sex. He kind of already knows what he likes and can go off that knowledge to predict what he will like or not. And he's good at making modifications on things he finds uninteresting to better suit his needs, if you still wanna try. He doesn't like roleplaying in general, for example, but he will pretend you're both strangers so you can pick him up at the bar. Likes bringing you to the bathroom stalls and fucking you there.

Tim: oh yeah. He reads a lot. He's very curious. He'll go on the internet and read manuals, read reviews, take tests, etc. He's also much more likely to fixate on a certain kink for a period of time, or to genuinely incorporate it to his regular sexual life.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Dick: mr. first robin have been a vigilante since i was nine, have never not exercised, etc etc. Yeah. He ain't stopping.

Jason: the fucking pit. He keeps dying and coming back and it's like they pump more cum in his balls every time. Enough said.

Tim: see mr. grayson. I don't know how the spleen affects him, but I doubt he lets it hold him back. He will stop you after a while if you're topping tho. Doesn't like to be sore much. Which doesn't mean he'll stop altogether, you know, he still has a dick.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Dick: he hates your dildo. He's horribly, terribly jealous of it. At first he'd use it to tease you, but then he liked you for real and that thing became his sworn enemy. He despises the fact that he's away so much you have to resort to using it, basically, so it'll always kind of have a place in your bed. He resent a vibrator even more. It's super fucking funny to me. He's game for everything else that doesn't fuck you tho.

Jason: Jay likes gadgets for their ingenuity but I don't really see them coming up too often. A few restraints, blindfolds, maybe a cock ring? He'd like them better if you used some on him rather than him using them on you. He prefers to do the work with his hands and mouth and cock. Good honest work

Tim: I think Tim's game on toys for either participant. He'll make you watch him fuck himself onto a tentacle-shaped dildo, if that's something you're into, and he won't let you touch him. He's a terror with a vibrator, though, particularly if you have a clit? Dude. A remote operated vibe. Anal plugs with tails attached. A fucking machine? Get away from that man. When I say saw trap, I mean it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Dick: horrible. He is awful. Worst of all because he's also so very sweet, and tender, and he plays the fool to lower your guard, and then you're lying there, gasping around his cock for the umpteenth time because he will not let you come yet and nothing you say breaks his nerve, and he just. taunts you. He's also soooooo into walking around looking delectable and playing dumb about it. Sure, man.

Jason: this one is on me, but I love a reader who's just off-handedly disrespectful to him. I always pair him with the brats lol I think he handles that well, by which I mean he strips it down to bone raw frankness which is heady and intimidating (metaphorically, I mean, but also strips down as in naked, I guess). He's quippy, also, as a general rule, but that's two way banter so I don't count it.

Tim: horrible part 2. See: loves to make you cry. See: Loves using toys on you. See: loves torturing you. His nudes are not even explicit, they're just suggestive, but you know intimately what he looks like, so the mere suggestion is enough to drive you mad. And then his fascination with you is never ending. It's a cocktail for great and tortuous diversion.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Dick: soooo talkative this man will not shut up. You're like, my man, you've been speaking for two hours straight, doesn't your throat need any lubrication? And he's like, you're right and swallows when you come. He's a moaner, I think, but not any louder than average. Will play it up if he sees the neighbour eyeing you in the hallway tho lol

Jason: Grunts and gasps and overall very throaty. He murmurs a lot of stuff into your skin. He's not loud, but his voice is a spear right down your groin. He likes speaking against your ear and sometimes it's all you hear. If you top him, and with some very precise loosening, you can get him moaning so so pretty, but it's pretty rare.

Tim: bitch has the most obscene little whimpers. It activates apex predator instinct on you immediately, like a switch being flipped. It's impossible not to bite him when he starts giving the short, breathy moans. Sounds so needy, and when he gets like that, he can barely string a sentence together, which is just mind blowing considering who he is.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Dick: I think Dick has a COMPLICATED relationship with his body. Perhaps it's me projecting a little because I cannot imagine being such a beautiful man and being able to cope with it. First vector to the issue is the fact that this man knows his body from the tip of his toes to the last strand of hair on his head. He is much more in touch with every muscle in his body than the vaaaast majority lf the world, and he has been so since very early in his life. You know that quote from Ursula K. Le Guin, I think, about how dogs don't really conceptualise their size, and cats are the complete opposite, they know exactly where they begin and end and that's why they seem like water sometimes? And then she says dancers also know exactly what they look like, because what they look like is what they do. And that's exactly him, as an acrobat and as a vigilante both. And though he doesn't care much for it, he also knows exactly how well he is regarded for possessing the body that he does. It is flattering, yes, but it is objectifying also. There's not so much the worry that people won't look any deeper than his looks because well, most of the time he doesn't want them to look, and also his loved ones regularly bypass his handsomeness and treat him as a person, so he knows he can live beyond that. Then there is the matter of his continued sexual assault at the hands of Catalina, and the subsequent objectification she subjected him to for the weeks following that first time at the rooftop, which would irrevocably change his relationship to his body. I don't think she ruins it for him, but he does develop, like, a very deep awareness of the power he holds and how easily that can be taken away. There's a lot of deliberation behind his every move, and when he cannot put that much thought into his actions, he freaks. It's also kinda why I headcanon him being so enthralled by so many dub-conish situations, I think it provides him with a playground in which he can explore the extents of his desires and what acting on them means while acknowledging the harm they may create, thus liberating him from the pressure of the worry or the not engaging altogether. I think an instance of mutual non consent (or plain noncon of you, but I don't think most versions of him have it in them) would absolutely obliterate him, and do a lot of bad to his psyche in a way Jay and Tim could withstand much better. He'd think it a moral failure, in a way the other two could resolve, but he'd never forgive himself. It's a point of no return, for Grayson.

Jason: he finds porn really distasteful. He would honest to god rather pay to watch two people go at it than look at a film. He just can't appreciate it for what it is—the stories are corny, the dialogue is cringe, etc etc. I genuinely think my man is on the aspec to some level. He's got a healthy libido, he likes having sex, but it's very person specific. I suppose I'd say demisexual, but I do think he can have casual sex but it's a VERY rare thing for him to feel sexual attraction like that right from the get go.

Tim: he enjoys cross dressing, but he won't go out like that. It's a very personal thing, to him. He strikes me as a dabbler in genderfluidity. If there's something there, he doesn't really care to examine it. He's good at being a man and he's comfortable with it, too, so there's that. But with you, he can just try it out. Of course it's fun to fuck you with a skirt on, but it's not a sex-based thing. And, unrelated but he watches hentai unironically because man's a weeb.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I don't rlly understand this question sbhdhd all those suits are skin tight I think you can tell. I assume this is about cock size cuz we all know Dick's got an ass and Jason's vice president of the perfect titties club with nic coughlan so.

Dick: I think he's a little bigger than usual but nothing that'd give you pause. Well, maybe a little. It's enough to think "that's just unfair" but not to be appalled. Very pretty. Leans slightly to the left. It's got some heft to it, but I wouldn't comment on its girth, and it's very expressive (shshdj?). It twitches a lot, is what I mean.

Jason: fat. So so fat. Fat, heavy, and uncut. Coupled with his full bush—instantly mouthwatering. This one does make you blink a couple times in astonishment. The type that makes you say I don't know if I can't take this but by god, I'm gonna try. He probably has to prep you a decent amount before you can both be comfortable with him inside you. It really fills you up, though and the stretch is craaaazy. Also good balls.

Tim: perfectly average length, longer than it is girthy. Oddly straight. Stupidly pink. Rosy as fuck. Looks like he paid for someone to do his blush this morning, etc. Circumcised. The head is perfect, you always fall for it when he asks you to let him put in just the tip because you like it so much.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Dick: high, like, a bit of a concern type of high. The thing with him is you get him started and you both got time? That's your day. Good fucking luck getting out of there. And then he's the sort of man that can't quite keep his hands to himself also, so it spirals pretty fast because it's hard not to want him when you know he's good and tasty and ready for you.

Jason: Pretty normal. He will be the one to say no, let's just cuddle a couple of times. I think he likes the moment of non-sexual affection a bit more, though they are not in competition. He's got a healthy libido and a fuckton of stamina, so it may seem like a lot at times. He'll fall hook line and sinker every time you set out to seduce him, but he'll drag out the start a lot. He's a fan of foreplay anyway.

Tim: Tim can go weeks without having sex if he's got something to be absorbed in. He'll forgo having sex if necessary, as well, even though he likes it lots. It's kind of how like people forget to eat or drink while they're working and then when they look up and realize they haven't eaten since breakfast and it's 8pm they're ravenous. That's Tim. He will blink and the onslaught of pent up horniness will hit him, and he's like, oh I gotta fuck you for several days straight now. You kinda have to needle him to fuck otherwise if he's got a project going on, and he always stops a moment to get you bouncing on his lap, but you're done and he goes right back to work. When he's got free time, he's such a damn distraction, though. God forbid you don't have any time for him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Dick: Depends on how tired he's feeling. He usually really refuses to go and its kinda cute seeing him fight with himself when his eyelids are dropping and he's barely kissing you anymore

Jason: he stays awake waaaay past you, likes to watch you as you sleep against him or beside him

Tim: very, but again, you gotta cradle him and lull him

[cranberryjuice-posts]

-Kisses-

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Femme! Reader

An - ik this is short im time crunching my Valentine’s Day clarisse and Abby fanfics 😭😭

An - no godly parent is listen but reader is super girly

Camp Halfblood was no exception of dumb teenage boys ranking who the “hottest” girl was at camp.

After half an hour of clarisses brothers laughing and arguing about who the top three girls were clarisse got fed up. Setting her half polished spear down she walked over to where her brothers sat taking the paper from them “dude clarisse give that back!” One of the boys shouted.

Clarisse however just ignored them. Glancing over the list she saw at the top ‘ hottest girls at camp’ . “Really we’re ranking girls at camp now? This is so fucking stupid” she scoffed.

Taking a look at the paper the ranking went —

Silena beauregard

Y/n l/n

Katie gardener

Yara smith

Ashley Knowles

—

By that point in the list clarisse ripped the paper apart before throwing it away. “She’s just mad she didn’t rank top three” a Dionysus kid laughed. Clarisse looked back at the boy giving him a harsh glare making him shut up.

“Everyone who isn’t an areas kid needs to leave now and everyone who is.. be ready to work your asses off tomorrow morning got it!” She ordered, the non ares boys left without another word with her brothers complaining and trying to argue with their councilor just to be met with more punishments.

——

The following morning as you finished your makeup and hair for the day clarisse walked into your cabin.

A few of your sisters were still hanging out went silent at the sight of the ares girl “uh hey I’ll catch up with you guys later ok” you smiled at your sisters “go get breakfast oh! And save me some strawberries”

Once they were gone you gave a sarcastic smile to clarisse. “Hey stranger”

“Yeah hi” she defensively spoke, grabbing your face she left a small kiss on your lips before leaning against the desk that was placed beside your bunk. “Heyy what’s wrong, did. something happen?” You placed a hand on the girls leg.

“Fucking brothers— they made this dumbass list ranking the hottest girls at camp and no denying silena is beautiful but you should of been number one also the way they talk about you and your body on the paper was disgusting..” Clarisses paused, calming down once she saw your amused smile.

“It’s so cute how protective you get”

“I’m not cute”

“Sure you are babe, you just don’t wanna admit it”

Clarisse crossed her arms not wanting to give in to your antics. Standing up you placed your hands on clarisses cheeks After reapplying your lipstick. Bringing her down you started to leave kiss marks all along her face, eyes, cheeks, nose, forehead, anywhere you could get. Leaving one final kiss on the girls lips .

She groaned playfully pulling away, just before clarisse could wipe the marks off her face you grabbed her hands. Kissing her quickly once again you smiled. “Leave them on ok”

“You realize that me walking out of your cabin with kiss marks on my face people are gonna know we’re together”

You leaned onto clarisse fiddling with her camp necklace. “So what” the stronger girl looked down at younfonfused “so what?”

“Yeah so what it they know, it’ll keep the guys at camp from talking about me in ways you don’t like and I don’t have to hide about how much I tolerate you”

“You tolerate me” she spoke unamused

Nodding you continued the innocent act. “Yup, only just a little bit though”

“You’re a dumbass”

“Yeah but I’m Your dumbass so it all works out”

——

[aidaronan]

We're Closed

Another one for @steddiemicrofic's August "cake" prompt || 311 words || Rated T Read my other fill here (it spicy) Tags: Baker Steve, rock star Eddie, a healthy dose of innuendo -

Truthfully, Steve had never given much thought to the location of his bakery before. Geographically speaking, he knew he was around the corner from a massive concert venue, but given that he usually showed up to work at 3 or 4 in the morning, it hadn't really affected him.

Except…

"I'm not open!" Steve sighed deeply at the light bangs on the front door.

"I'll give you $500 if you open right now. A thousand. Ten thousand dollars."

Steve sighed again, flour dusting his arms up to his elbows. He did his best to wipe it on his apron, heading up to tell this asshole to kick rocks. He debated an empty threat to call the cops. Instead, he grabbed the baseball bat under the register and flipped it onto his shoulder.

"Seriously, dude. I'm closed."

"But sir, I will die. I will perish upon this concrete sidewalk. Lack-of-cupcake disease. Very advanced."

Steve met dark eyes through the glass of the shop's front door. "I don't even have any cupcakes made. I have a $400 wedding cake some asshole stiffed me on. You wanna buy that?"

"How many tiers?"

"Five."

The stranger moaned. "God, I love it when guys talk dirty to me. Flavor?"

"Various." Against his better judgement, Steve unlocked the door, letting the stranger spill inside in a whirlwind of tattoos, holey denim, and chains. He was--for all that Steve would've thought that kind of guy wasn't his type--very attractive.

"Tell me there's chocolate, Baker Man."

"Steve. And there's chocolate. With an espresso and hazelnut cream."

"Oh fuck me."

Steve snorted. "I guess that's one way to pay for a cake."

In the end, no sexual favors were exchanged. But Eddie Munson, apparent rock star, did insist on paying all $400, on guest listing Steve for his next show, and on scrawling seven little digits down Steve's flour-dusted arm.

[hotluncheddie]

For the @steddie-spooktober day 8 prompt : bonfire

rated: M | cw: none | tags: modern AU, idiot4idot

🌲🔥 🌲🔥🌲

Steve is glaring at him from across the flickering light of the bonfire. At a Highschool kickback out in the forest by the quarry.

‘So anyway, here’s Wondereall.’ Eddie says, strumming his guitar and singing way louder than he needs to.

‘God you’re so embarrassing, you’re so cringe.’ Steve says, shoving Eddie against a tree 4 minutes and 15 seconds later.

‘I hate you I hate you I hate you.’ He whines between kisses. Letting his mouth drop open so Eddie’s tongue can explore.

‘Fucking, why is it so hot that you’re okay being such a loser?’ Steve pants, Eddie’s kissing down his neck, Steve chokes back a whimper when Eddie bites.

20 minute later Eddie’s waltzing back to the little group still sitting around the fire. His arm slung around Steve’s waist and looking rightfully smug. Steve’s hair is a mess and he’s wiping his mouth, lips all swollen, and if his voice has a hint of a rasp to it no one notices. Except Robin.

Eddie sits back with his guitar next to the warm glow. Plucking the strings but not really feeling like playing properly anymore.

He got what he came for. And came… well, and he came.

‘I can’t believe that worked.’ Jeff shakes his head. ‘I would say I’m jealous, like, if a cheerleader got like that over a baseline, fuckin’ A. But, honestly, I think Harrington might actually just be a bit of a freak dude.’

Eddie smiles and looks over, at Steve holding a cold can of beer to his red cheeks as Robin Buckley throws peanuts at his head. They’re arguing about something, but also keep pausing to hold hands and giggle.

Steve glances over, catching Eddie’s eye and sticks his tongue out at him.

Eddie laughs. Steve might well be a freak.

But he’s Eddie’s freak.

🌲🔥🌲🔥

Tag list (lmk if you wanna be added / removed) : @scoops-aboy86 @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @pearynice @thecatkingsthrone @marvel-ous-m

@chickensinrainboots @cheesedoctor

[pedropascallme]

Celebrity Crushes

Pairing: Damien Haas x gn!Reader

Summary: "He had never said it was for a video, though maybe at this point you should’ve been able to guess that being asked for a list of three top choices was for this series."

Warnings: Brief mention of being drunk but otherwise none :)

AN: Hi guys!! I wrote this in 20 minutes so it’s…rough around the edges….but you’ve been so sweet and patient with me while I get my shit together now that I’m back from school!! I have many many WIPs that I plan on publishing soon that will have much more substance than this, but I still hope this helps hold you over for another week or so <3

You delayed your own emergence from sleep. Your bed was comfortable, warmer than usual, maybe thanks to the open blinds that let sunlight dapple the room. It was so easy to fall back into the snug embrace of slumber as you stretched against your sheets. You rolled over, eyes still heavily lidded and blinking to avoid the light as you felt around for your phone on the nightstand.

You yawned, stretching again; you let your back arch off the bed, feet poking out from beneath your blanket as you let your ankles crack—a quiet, congenial noise, and an even more satisfying feeling.

There were several messages waiting for you when you unlocked your phone.

Ang: UM??

Ang: New games vid????

Ang: 😵‍💫😵‍💫

You: What?

Ang: Dude🫠

You: What??

You: Isn’t it a Shayne guesses

You: I just woke up

Ang: Hold on

They were not the messages you’d been anticipating on a peaceful morning off from work. Angela’s texts woke you up immediately, her words burying themselves in your head as adrenaline took hold, muscles tensing, and you felt something pull at your stomach.

Had someone said something? Had you said something? Had you been somewhere you weren’t meant to be? Did it even involve you? Was she simply acknowledging something fucked up or funny that you had played no part in?

You held your phone in a vice grip, white-knuckling it and waiting to hear how exactly the new upload pertained to you—if it pertained to you—and whether you’d still have a job or any friends by the end of the day.

You felt a soft buzz on your fingers and snapped your attention to the screen, hoping to see Angela’s name.

Court: Was the new video planned or…

You: What is happening

You: Angela texted me too

You: I literally just woke up

Court: omg🥹

You felt hot. Not in the cozy way you had been when you woke up, but in a burnt cheeks and stomachache way. This was not something you had ever woken up to before, it was not at all routine, and you worried that your time at Smosh was up based solely on the manner in which your friends were texting you.

Another buzz. Kiana this time.

Kiana: I told Spencer not to keep it in the final cut

Kiana: But it’s really cute actually

You wanted to throw up. Shakily leaning back in bed, you tried to type out a response to Kiana that would help you wrap your mind around what exactly it was that you should be worried about.

Another buzz alerted you to Angela’s late reply, and you abandoned the message you had been drafting for Kiana.

Ang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzUs87BMpsc

Ang: 26 minute mark & then watch to the end

Ang: 🥴🥴🫶🏻

You had been right. It was another installment of Shayne Guesses, but you had no recollection of sending in a formal submission of…

“Can I identify someone, based on their top three celebrity crushes?”

Your heart jumped to your throat.

If this was going where you thought it was, you’d send in your letter of resignation by tonight.

You found the timestamp Angela had sent you, and immediately grimaced, folding your body into itself. You wiped a hand over your face, as if rubbing your eyes hard enough would make this all go away, leaving you to wake up fresh and unabashed.

“Ok—ok, I can work with this,” Shayne’s eyes darted over the screen, shouting a laugh when he took in the options given to him. “So Pedro Pascal—expected—Cillian Murphy, and he looks younger there. Is that what he looks like now? No…”

“No, that’s from like, 2000-something,” Spencer responded off camera, “I did not choose that picture.”

“Ok, 2000s Cillian Murphy, Pedro Pascal, and Damien Haas.” Shayne paused to stifle a chuckle. “This is the second time you’ve broken your own rule!” He stared pointedly at Spencer.

“Bro, that’s Shez from Fire Emblem!” Spencer argued, still out of frame, and Shayne bit the inside of his cheek.

“I mean,” Shayne looked at the list of names in front of him, “I feel like, you know, maybe it’s not…maybe it isn’t super obvious to people watching, but I think it’s a pretty easy guess for anybody in the office.”

“So what’s your answer?” Spencer asked.

“Oh, come on, like you need to ask,” Shayne crossed his arms before triumphantly declaring your name. “Final answer, look—” He clicked to the next page, and there was your headshot.

Your headshot.

Because Damien was one of your celebrity crushes.

One whom you worked with, and were friends with, and hung out with, and ate lunch with.

You felt your eye twitch.

You paused the video in a huff, too mortified to follow Angela’s instructions and watch it to the end.

You might’ve laughed if you weren’t so besides yourself with embarrassment. You were deeply confused as to how that list had even made it into the upload when you hadn’t sent it in.

You racked your brain, trying to remember if you’d drunkenly sent an email, or given an ok when you were only half awake.

You could recall, vaguely, a text exchange with Spencer a few weeks ago, where he had asked, out of the blue, about your top three celebrity crushes. And you gave your answers, sent a few googled pictures, all in good fun, to your friend.

He had never said it was for a video, though maybe at this point you should’ve been able to guess that being asked for a list of three top choices was for this series.

You: Charles.

You: What happened to confidentiality.

Spence: I CNA EXPLIAN

Spence: CAN

Spence: EXPLAIN

You: 🤨

Spence: LISTEN

Spence: I THOUGTH YOU KNWE

Spence: I THOIGHT IT WASSON PURPOSE

Spence: I THOUGHT HE KNEW??

Spence: BECAUSE HIS??

Spence: Please don’t kill me I have a family.

Spence: And I’ll buy you lunch.

You: You’ll buy me lunch for a month.

Spence: A week

You: Two weeks

Spence: Deal🤑

Spence: I love you❤️❤️

Spence: And I’m sorry I went over y’all’s heads

You weren’t mad.

Honestly, you couldn’t bring yourself to be genuinely angry; it was hard to be mad at one of your dearest friends over something that was so clearly a misunderstanding. Especially when it had no real bearing on your career or public image.

This just meant that people would now be fully aware that you had the hots for a coworker.

And said coworker would also be fully aware of it. You tried to push down the shame.

You: Accepted

You: I love you too❤️

You: I want Thai tomorrow

Spence: Would you settle for shirt?

You: I'll kill you.

Spence: Don’t you have another smosh man to bother🧐

You smiled at your own reassuring words, and Spencer’s acknowledgement of his fuckup was equally as helpful in improving your mood, as was his casual banter. For a moment that was enough to make you forget why your stomach was still in knots.

It could be argued that it was an open secret, it certainly seemed as though your friends were more shocked to see your list make it into the final cut of the video than they were to see the list itself. You counted on your fingers: who had you told, who figured it out like a child's simple jigsaw puzzle, who had asked point-blank after seeing you interact with Damien.

You ran out of fingers.

Still, you felt that you’d been cautious enough about it, to the point that Damien himself, at least, hadn’t seemed to figure it out, despite the amount of time you spent together, and the large portion of that time that you spent with a dopey grin on your face and a blush creeping up your cheeks.

Maybe he hadn’t seen the video. Maybe he’d never see the video. Maybe he wasn’t even planning on being online today at all.

Or maybe you could change your name and disappear for a while.

Maybe you’d be in the clear.

You took deep breaths, trying to settle your brain and your heart and the shakiness of your hands.

And then Damien’s name lit up your phone screen, and the results of your impromptu meditation were immediately gone, thrown out the window with your composure.

Damimen: Very interesting list

You: I’m so sorry

Damimen: What?

Damimen: Why?

You: I didn’t mean for you to find out this way

You: Very publicly on a Wednesday morning

Damimen: Who said I was just finding out?

You: Shut up

You: I’m good at keeping secrets

Damimen: I know

Damimen: Angela and Chanse aren’t tho

You: Oh god dammit

Damimen: Which is why I knew not to tell them anything about my list

Damimen: And I mean

Damimen: Stuff that I'd generally like to be kept under wraps

You: So the launch codes are safe?

Damimen: Are they safe if they're with me?

Damimen: 🤯

You: MR PRESIDENT!!

You: Wait

You: Joking aside

You: What are you talking about

You: Wdym “not telling them about your list”

Damimen: Did you not watch the whole video?

You: Got kinda distracted

You: Needed to make Spencer fear for his life a little

Damimen: ???

Damimen: Watch til the end

Damimen: And then come over?

Damimen: If you want?

You furrowed your brow, questions still unanswered, but pleased that he wasn’t upset with you.

You found your way back to the video, clicking forward again until you saw Damien’s headshot and then rewinding to see his list.

Pictures of you.

Three pictures of you. Pictures he had taken when you were together; at the ren faire, getting coffee, in the office.

And now the texts from everybody remarking on how cute the video was made sense. They hadn’t been referring to your list, they’d been referring to Damien’s more than forward response that worked in tandem with yours.

“Not a lot of variety to this one,” Shayne laughed into his hands, “I don’t really have to guess cause there’s only one name left on this list, but even if there wasn’t…This is Damien. Yeah, no, this is Damien. Final answer.”

“How do you know?” Spencer pushed.

“Well I mean, I, y’know, I received these pictures from Damien when they were taken,” Shayne spoke as if it should’ve been apparent, “But also. Come on. I know. See,” he clicked to the next page, where Damien’s name and picture appeared. Shayne raised his arms in triumph.

Your mouth fell open and your lips curved up into a subtle smile.

If you hadn’t been obvious, you’d certainly been oblivious.

The pictures of you that Damien had taken lined up on the screen paired with Shayne’s assurance in his answer, the knowing chuckles from off screen, it all made your heart skip. You felt it sinking from your throat and back into your chest where it belonged, thrumming contentedly.

Damien’s handle on your heart didn’t worry you. If anything, it relaxed you, made you feel safe, collected despite the rollercoaster of a morning you’d had. The discovery of a crush requited made you feel giddy; young and in love.

You: On my way

You: Gimme 20 minutes

You: And send me those pictures

You: 😘

Damimen: 🫡🥰

[megamindsupremacy]

my very important and well-thought-out thoughts about the shipping options within the Bill-Stanford-Fiddleford-Stanley love square

Billford - The classic. Toxic old man yaoi. Pre-portal Stanford is well and truly completely religiously obsessed with Bill, who is just using him like a mildly interesting pawn. The second Ford goes flying through that portal, Bill realizes how badly he fucked up and spends 30 years obsessed with getting his situationship back but by this point Ford is OVER it. Basically they flip-flop who is maniacally unhealthily obsessed with the other at any given time and it's a horrible experience for everyone involved

Fiddauthor/Ford^2 (pre-portal) - Toxic young man yuri. Fiddleford is desperately pining for Ford but Ford is too up his own ass (and obsessed with Bill) to notice.

Fiddauthor/Ford^2 (post-portal) - The happiest slash healthiest (?) option on the list. Ford has gotten his shit together and his head out of his ass, as well as several dozen reality checks and a fist to the face (he needed... all of that to fix him). Fiddleford has more or less recovered from wiping his own memory due to the Horrors he experiences while working with Ford. They are able to happily settle down and build giant robots to harass small children with in their free time.

Fiddlestan - I will accept this ship ONLY with identity and memory-wiping angst. I want neither of them to be happy about it. Fiddleford either thinks Ford is finally returning his feelings and refuses to examine "why the hell is he acting so different (nice)" further, or he's well aware that this man who looks like Ford isn't Ford, and is willing to turn a blind eye just to Feel Something. Stan thinks Fidds is his brother's boyfriend and he has to maintain this relationship for the dude's sake, and also this is the first true affection he's experienced in a decade so he's keeping his mouth shut about the identity stuff just, again, to Feel Something.

Billfiddlesford - funny as hell and i refuse to accept any other ship name. Everyone is having a great terrible fun time except they're all having a wildly confusing time. Bill is fully aware of Fiddleford's feelings for Ford and is trying to manipulate Fidds with them. It's working but only kinda because Bill is starting to experience this strange emotion called Jealousy. Ford is caught in the crossfire of being obsessed with this triangle thing but the triangle is lowkey putting their portal-building plans on hold just so he can figure out what is WRONG with these two scientist freaks. And himself. Ford kisses Fiddleford first and Fiddleford's first reaction is "Bill why did you do that" then he has to explain why his first instinct, upon being kissed by Ford, is to assume Ford is being possessed by his Triangle Muse God. I dearly love this ship because there is no possible way it could happen in canon but I need to throw these three in a room together and shake it just to see what would happen.

[scoops-aboy86]

The Aloe Gel Tingles

Prompt Used: Sunburn (@thehairandthebanished) and shower (@steddiemicrofic) | wc: 399 | The Aloe Gel Tingles | Rating: M | CW: Gratuitous Steve Ass | Additional Tags: gay Eddie Munson, bisexual Steve Harrington, and they were roommates, implied anilingus

(on ao3)

“Ow, owww,” Steve whines while shampooing his tender scalp. 

Across the bathroom, Eddie looks up from where he’s spelunking in the cabinets under the sink for aloe gel. “That’s what you get, Mr. Oh I Never Get Sunburns. Did you put more on any of those times you pestered me about reapplying, or were you all talk?”

Behind the curtain, Steve scoffs. “Hey, it worked. Only one of us got parboiled.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Big Boy… Ah, found it!” Eddie extracts himself with the bottle held aloft in victory. And he really tries not to react to his friend’s relieved groan. “So that’s here, I’ll just—”

“I’m gonna need your help,” Steve says, stopping Eddie cold. 

“Uh, care to elaborate on that?”

“I’m burned all over, man, I can’t… reach all of it very well.”

To his credit, Steve sounds like he has some idea of how awkward this is to ask for. When Eddie came out he was really great about it, and since then has toned down some of his jock tendencies—mostly the ones where he walks around their apartment shirtless, or naked if it’s ‘just us guys.’ 

Which Eddie appreciates! He does! It’s really cut down on the inappropriate boners he’s had to hide. But it was too little too late to avoid the crush that he hasn’t come clean about. 

So he swallows hard, wiping his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans. “Oh. Okay. Sure thing, dude.”

Five minutes later, he’s absolutely sure he’s about to die. Because thanks to Steve’s insanely short shorts at their lakefront beach day with Robin and her college friends, he’s now bending over the sink trying to show Eddie how the burn on the backs of his legs goes all the way up onto his ass. 

And what an ass it is. Eddie has just… never been encouraged to stare at his roommate’s juicy, bare cheeks before. Or touch them. Or…

“Just rub it in,” Steve whines. He bounces on his toes and jiggles. Fuck. “Please, Eds, come on!”

Wordlessly, Eddie does as he’s told. The resulting moan is pornographic; the way Steve spreads his legs wider is obscene. 

“I know the timing’s weird,” Steve pants, “but I’ve been meaning to tell you I’m bisexual. Do you think you could…?”

Eddie is already falling to his knees, spreading Steve and diving in tongue first, no further invitation needed.

Permanent tag list: @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @irishvampireboy @oatmilk-vampire

@wheneverfeasible @hamiltonswiftie @grtwdsmwhr @yesdangerpls @theseaofdespair

[marksmelodies]

hiii!! not sure if you’re taking request but if you are could you please make a 127 version of your “nct dream reactions to finding out you’re fwb/ secretly dating another member” ! i really loved your dream version and would love to read a 127 version (≧◡≦) thank you in advance ♡︎

hii thank you so much for requesting!! i am currently taking requests!!

i hope you enjoy!!

nct127 reactions to finding out you’re fwb/ secretly dating another member

—————————————————————————

nct127 x fem reader

warnings: suggestive, sexual activity, oral (fem receiving) cussing,slight mentions of drugs

minors dni

—————————————————————————

taeil

the members sit around in the practice room debating on where to eat

“ yo let’s just order food” doyoung says as the group continues to discuss their food options

taeil then looks at his phone immediately getting up and getting his things ready to leave

“ hyung you’re not eating with us?” haechan asks

“ n-no i have somewhere to be” taeil stutters

“ where are you going?” doyoung asks but before he could finish his sentence taeil is out the door

quickly washing up and putting on a nice outfit he heads over to your place as you two go to the restaurant that you and him had planned on going

“ hello, do you have a reservation with us?” the host asked as jazz music played softly in the background

“ yeah it should be under moon taeil”

the host types his name into the computer as she furrows her brows

“ um sir, i have a reservation for the same time next week but nothing is coming up for today” the host says

you look at taeil as he stands there confused

“ what? i swear i made a reservation for tonight” he pulls out his phone to verify

“ oh my god i accidentally scheduled it for next week” he sighs as his shoulders slump

“ i’m sorry sir but we are all booked out for right now, if you give me your phone number i can call you if any reservations get cancelled but there’s a waiting list on that as well” the host explains

taeil felt defeated, he knew how much you wanted to eat at this restaurant, you had been talking about it for weeks

he looks to you as if he’s asking what you want to do

“ that’s alright, it’s no problem we’ll go somewhere else, you can cancel the reservation for next week too please, have a good night ” you say politely

taeil follows you out of the restaurant moping

“ babe i’m so sorry, i made that reservation after practice last week, i so tired i was out of it” taeil tries to apologize

“ awe taeil don’t feel bad it’s okay, honestly that place looked too fancy for me. what would you like to eat? i don’t mind at this point anything sounds good to me” you laugh

you’re always such a good sport in every situation, that’s one thing taeil loves so much about you, he can see right through you though, the restaurant wasn’t “too fancy” for you, you said that just to make him feel better.

“ let’s keep walking and see what else is around here” he suggests

and that’s how you ended up at a family owned korean barbecue place

sitting down at the table both of you already knowing what you want since you’ve been there more times than you can count

“ i’m sorry babe really”

“ taeil sweetheart it’s okay i swear ”

“ i’ll make it up to you tonight” he winks

“ oh come on don’t be all suggestive in the middle of a k- barbecue place please” you laugh

the food quickly arrives as you both start eating, conversations quickly become silent due to the both of you focusing so heavily on the food in front of you

hearing the front door chime neither of you notice that a mark, haechan, johnny, taeyong and doyoung walk through the door

“ holy shit is that taeil and y/n” mark says

“ dude shut up” johnny smacks his arm

spying on the two of you they see you laughing at him as you use your napkin to wipe sauce off his face before quickly kissing his lips

“ no way” the members gasp before shuffling one by one out the door

“ dude they’re on a date” mark says

“ yeah no shit” johnny replies

haechan laughs as he seems to be typing something on this phone and then putting in his back pocket walking away from the restaurant window

everyone’s phone buzzes moments later as they open the message sent to the group chat

a picture capturing you and taeils kiss that had just happened in the restaurant was sent with a message underneath stating “ you two have something to tell us?”

you and taeil pick up your phones at the same time before you eyes widen at the message

“ how did he even-” you begin to say

“ man i get any privacy around here” taeil laughs slightly

“ we have stalkers and their name is lee donghyuck” you roll your eyes laughing

johnny:

the last time you had talked to johnny was moments ago ending with him saying he was on his way home from practice, quickly you drove over to his place, putting on the lingerie set he bought you last week, setting up your sex playlist to the bluetooth speaker and dimming the lights while some candles around the room burn

you wanted to do something nice for johnny due to how hard he has been working with comeback and promotions, you’ve noticed his mood was more drained than usual this week , so you being the amazing girlfriend you are, you decided to do something special for him tonight

as you hear the door open you situate yourself on his bed, laying in a very revealing position there wasn’t much left to the imagination with the lingerie set you had on

swinging the door open a sweaty jaehyun appeared in the doorway

both taking a second to realize what’s happening you quickly scream pulling a blanket over yourself

“ holy shit..fuck, i’m so sorry” jaehyun yells covering his eyes trying to find the doorknob before practically running out of the room

it doesn’t take long for johnny to come into the room after hearing the commotion

“ y/n what is goi-” johnny stops mid sentence putting two into together

“ oh my god” he can’t help but laugh at your mortified state

“ john stop laughing, my pussy was quite literally in jaehyuns face” you shove your face into the pillow

he catches his breath before opening his mouth again

“ at least it wasn’t mark, he would’ve cum in his pants right then and there”

you shove him off of you as he tries to pull you into a hug

“ i’m never surprising you again” you say as your face remains red

after putting on decent clothes you go out to the living room meeting face to face with jaehyun who is sitting at the kitchen table

“ i’m so sorry” you say

“ no i’m sorry” he laughs it off

“ ouuu your eyes are so red” johnny laughs pointing to jaehyuns ears

“ dude can you blame me, i just saw a naked woman right in front of me”

“ my naked woman” johnny kisses your lips

“ when the fuck did you two get together and why was i not informed?” jaehyun asks

“ i mean technically we’re not together” you say

“ yet” johnny adds

jaehyun rests his head in his arms before looking up at the two of you

“ im sorry i ruined your sex plans, never would i think to be the one cockblocking” jaehyun gets up as he heads to the front door

“ no one speaks a word of what happened” he says as you and johnny agree

“ wait what happened?” johnny says trying to be funny

jaehyun scoffs before walking out of the door leaving you and johnny alone at last

“ well that was fun” johnny lightens the mood

by the look on your face he can tell you were genuinely upset

“ hey it’s okay, i’m sorry this happened baby but i had no idea you would be here especially basically naked” he coos

you look to the ground

“ i just wanted to do something special for you since you’ve been working really hard”

“ let’s do a redo okay?” he says before letting you scurry back to the bedroom as he walks out of his apartment waiting to walk right back through the door on your command

taeyong:

you haven’t heard much from taeyong today, he must have been super busy with work, that was until a “ you up?” text message popped up on your screen

you knew exactly what that meant

and as much as you wanted to deny it, you wanted it too

answering him quickly he tells you to join him in the studio

getting ready didn’t take long considering the clothes you wore to his studio were going to get stripped off of you in the matter of seconds once you got there.

and you were right

walking through the door you saw taeyong his headphones on nodding his head to the beat of the music

walking behind him you placed your hands on his shoulders causing him to slightly jump

“ geez you scared me, at least text me letting me know you’re here” he says

“ sorry i didn’t think about it” you pout

“ oh don’t pout sweet girl i was only joking” he stands up giving you a big hug

he sits down in his hair again but this time pulling you into his lap along with him

it doesn’t take long for you both to become touchy with each other, you kissed his neck as he moves his hands up and down your back

slightly grinding into his clothed cock he begins to whine

taeyong pulls your face up to look at him before he smashes his lips onto yours

“ tae i need you” you plead

he stands up placing you onto the desk before taking your shirt off while sucking on your tits

“ oh my god” you moan as he flips your skirt up moving your underwear to the side and entering his fingers into your pussy

through your loud moans you couldn’t hear anything else around you

not even the door opening as johnny stands there in the doorway

“ jesus christ where’s the decorum” johnny says gaining both of your attention

you quickly scramble off of eachother pulling your shirt and skirt down

“ since when were you two fucking” johnny asks

“ for a while man, what do you need?” taeyong

johnny stands there a second before answering

“ honestly i dont remember, continue whatever your doing i guess but next time for the love of god.. lock the door” he says before leaving

yuta:

the night was getting later and later as the music played and the members all drunkenly sang along to it

you were hanging out with the members as you usually do, perks of being johnnys best friend

but tonight everyone had way too much to drink and no one’s thoughts were clear

“ let’s play a game” jungwoo suggests

everyone agreed on two truths and a lie

everyone expect yuta.

at first the topics were lame, things such as blacking out before and smoking weed were mentioned but as the game progressed things became a lot more interesting

“ okay umm, i once threw up in johnnys shoe because i was so drunk, i almost accidentally posted a video of me jerking off on bubble and i hooked up with y/n before” haechan says

you immediately looked to haechan and then to yuta

“ oh come on man that’s so easy, we all know you didn’t fuck y/n” mark says

everyone agrees with mark

“ okay fine you’re right that didn’t happen but shit i wish it would’ve” haechan says slurring his words

you can tell that yuta wants nothing more than to bash haechans head in right now

you look to yuta giving him “ it’s okay calm down” look

“ dude i know like she’s so fine” taeyong agrees with haechan

“ i bet her pussy is just as pretty as she is” jaehyun says as he palms the boner in his pants that had occurred due to the topic of you

yutas face is red with anger as he tries his best not to say anything but as he notices all of their hungry eyes on you and jaehyun nearly stroking his clothed dick at the thought of fucking you made yuta snap

“ you guys realize she’s right here, she can hear everything you guys saying, you don’t think that’s completely disgusting” yuta stands up

“ yuta stop” you say trying to calm him down

“ no” he pulls his arm away from you

“the fact that you all can sit here and say those things about my girlfriend when i’m right here is fucking disrespectful, you’re lucky if i don’t beat the shit out of you”

the room goes silent

“ girlfriend?” haechan says completely out of it

“ bro we didn’t know you were dating” jaehyun defends

“ it doesn’t fucking matter whether we are or not it’s so wrong in so many ways to sit here and sexualize her like that” yuta gets up and walks out the front door

you run chasing after him

finally catching up with him you pull his arm so he is facing you

wrapping your arms around him you give him a hug before kissing his lips

“ thank you for doing that babe, really i love you so much” you say

“ you shouldn’t thank me, i didn’t do that just because im your boyfriend you know, i would’ve done it either way”

“ i know, but im grateful for you sticking up for me, i know they’re just drunk and horny but you’re right it doesn’t feel good to be talked about like an object” you place your head into his chest

“ don’t worry about me exposing our relationship, none of them will remember anything from tonight” he says raking his hands through your hair”

“ i don’t care anymore i want everyone to know that we’re together” you say looking up to him

he kisses your lips once more “ lets go back inside im sure they’re all passed out by now” he says leading you back into the dorm

doyoung:

“ does anyone know where my game controller went” haechan shouts as he looks all over the dorms

“ i dont know the last time you had it was when we played with doyoung in his room” marks says

haechan makes his way to doyoungs room, he knew it was wrong to look through doyoung stuff but he really needed his game controller

looking through some of the drawers he still hasn’t found it

pulling out another drawer haechan notices something, amongst the boxers taking up space in the drawer there was a pink lace thong sitting in it as well

“ what the fuck” haechan says closing the drawer

opening up the next one which he had to pull extra hard on for it to open sits a bunch of polaroid pictures, haechan can’t help but pick the pictures up

the imagines showed you sprawled out on his bed naked

haechans eyes widen as he realize that it is you in the photos

“ he’s fucking y/n?”

haechan closes the drawer before leaving the room

as he exits doyoung room he meets face to face with you

“ y/n um hi, what are you doing here” haechan turns bright red

“ i’m here to return this” you say handing him his controller “ i accidentally grabbed yours instead of mine” you laugh

“ oh thanks i was just looking for it in doyoungs room” he says

looking down at the obvious tent in his pants

his eyes widen looking back to you as you can’t help but laugh at the poor boys state

“ im guessing you opened a certain one of doyoungs drawers” you say

his face becomes red as he scratches the back of his neck

“ i was just looking for the controller” he stutters

“ it’s okay hyuck don’t be embarrassed, i told him to put a lock on it or something, how about we don’t tell anyone about this though huh? it’s our little secret” you say

“ yeah um of course” he replies

before haechan could go back to his room doyoung walks through the door

“ hey y/n” he says leaving soft lingering touches on your body

usually this would go unnoticed by haechan but after what he found out today he was picking up on all the little signs

“ what’s wrong with you, you look like you saw a ghost” doyoung asks haechan as they stand in the hallway

“ oh um. nothing..” haechan says pushing past you both to return to his room

“ he looked nervous” doyoung says looking to you

“ i don’t know maybe he saw something he shouldn’t have” you mumble

“ huh” doyoung furrows his eyebrows not hearing what you said

“ oh i said it’s probably nothing, let’s go lay down” you say smirking as you pull him into his room

jaehyun:

jaehyun had just come back from tour but with the members constantly being home there was no way for you two to have any alone time, it was torture for the both of you to be in a room together and not be able to fuck.. let alone look at each other for too long but today the members all had solo schedules so jaehyun took that as his time to spend alone with you

“ where is everyone” you ask as you walk into dorm

“ they’re still out doing schedules, mine ended earlier than everyone else’s” he said

you walk past him putting your belongings in his room before he follows you like a lost puppy

“ baby you’re really not going to give me a kiss” he pouts

you and jaehyun never used to get along, although being close with most of the members you and jaehyun seemed to clash heads more than anyone else

you both fought a lot and would act very petty towards each other often times whispering things under your breath to each other but loud enough for everyone to hear

as time went on you both realized that you didn’t hate each other in fact it was the complete opposite, maybe it was the immense sexual tension between you two that made you act bratty towards one another but you soon realized that instead your so called hate turned into lust and that lust eventually turned into love

as you both got deeper into your “ situationship” you realized there were real feelings involved and so did he

you love jaehyun and jaehyun loves you

it was something that you both weren’t shy to open up about with each other

that’s how you two ended up confessing to each other one night a few months ago which led to a relationship that was kept a secret from everyone, for now just enjoying each other company with no one involved in your business

“ oh my poor boy” you walk up to him giving him a big hug and kiss

you spent most of evening watching movies together and simply enjoying being in eachothers arms

“i’m getting something to drink” you declare walking into the kitchen as jaehyun follows you

grabbing a cup from the cabinet you fill it water before chugging it

“ damn babe you were thirsty” he smerks

you give him a weird look as you place your cup into the sink

“ im thirsty too but not for water” he whispers kissing on your neck

turning you around he smashes his lips onto yours

feeling yourself getting wet at his actions you moan into the kiss

jaehyun picks you up placing you on the edge of the kitchen counter

standing in between your legs he flips your shirt up and pulling your bra down latching his lips onto your tits

trailing kisses down your body, leaving marks where no one else would see them he stops at your heat

kissing you clothed pussy he takes your shorts off along with your underwear

spreading your legs he kneels down pulling you closer to his face so that your pussy is eye level to him

leaving soft kisses and marks on the inside of your thighs before licking a stripe down your heat

completely diving into your pussy causing you to let out a loud moan

he chuckles in between your legs sending vibrations throughout your entire body

sucking on your clit you grab onto his hair arching your back

“ fuck jaehyun it feels so good” you moan

being caught up in the moment you didn’t hear the key turning in the door, as the door opens a loud voice echoed the wall

“ yo what the fuck” mark says turning around

you and jaehyun separate immediately gathering your clothes before putting them on once you are decent mark turns back around staring at the two of you, his face is bright red

“ really man on the kitchen counter, i made my breakfast there this morning” mark groans in annoyance

jaehyun can’t help but laugh

“ im so confused dude, i thought you hated eachother why did i just walk in on you devouring her” mark asks

“ i dont know man i was hungry” jaehyun cracks a joke, mark stares at him straight faced

jaehyun lets out a sigh

“ we’re dating” you spit out

jaehyun give you a quick glance before backing you up

“ wait a minute, dating in like?” mark tries to wrap his head around what you’re telling him

“ dating as in im his girlfriend and he’s my boyfriend” you explain like you’re talking to a child

“ so you don’t hate each other?”

“ no mark obviously we don’t”

“ so it was just an act?”

“ partly, we didn’t get along the best in the beginning but it was really just us having mad sexual tension, as the two of us closer we realized we just needed to have really good sex with each other and then boom we fell in love”

mark looks to for verification

“ yeah i guess you can say that’s what happened” you chuckle

“ could you not tell anyone about us yet, we don’t exactly want anyone to know we’re a couple at least for right now” you ask mark

“ yeah of course your secret is safe with me, im too tired for this, im glad yall are together now or whatever but if you don’t want anyone else finding out about you two i suggest not eating her out on the kitchen counter, im never touching that damn thing again” mark says walking into his room

“ dont worry ill clean it” jaehyun yells to him

“ come on babe let’s take this too the room” jaehyun picks you up kissing your face all over

jungwoo:

jungwoo had been on tour for a few weeks now, finally getting back to the hotel from their show that they had just preformed

after washing up and ordering food with mark whom he is sharing the room with, jungwoo got ready for bed and eventually fell fast asleep

“y/n” jungwoo moans in his sleep causing mark to stir awake

mark looks to jungwoo confused as he sees his passive state laying his head pack onto the pillow only to lift it up again when jungwoo begins whimpering

at first mark thought jungwoo was having a nightmare until he turned on a dim light seeing jungwoo erection in his pants and strings of moans leaving his mouth along with your name

“ fuck y/n your pussy feels so good baby” he whimpers subconsciously

“ oh you’ve got to be joking, why me” mark sighs debating on if he should wake him or not

mark turned off the light and placed a pillow over his head to drown out the noise

jungwoo began to trust his hips into a pillow he was once innocently holding

jungwoo sprung awake as soon as he felt himself releasing into his boxers

it took a few seconds to realize what was going on

“ oh fuck” jungwoo curses at the mess he made in his pants

getting up he grabs new boxers and shorts out of his suitcase before heading to the bathroom to wash up

mark sits up as jungwoo comes back from the bathroom

“ had a good dream huh” mark smerks

jungwoo just sighs as he lays back down in bed

“ so you and y/n, are fucking” mark asks

junwoo shot up looking at mark

“ huh? what? what makes you say that” jungwoo says frantically

“ oh i don’t know man, maybe because you were moaning her name and saying how good her pussy feels while humping into a pillow” mark laughs

“ shit”

“ hey dude it’s cool, we’ve all had wet dreams before i sure as hell had my fair share of them” mark says

jungwoo takes a deep breath

“ yeah we’re fucking around with eachother, but she doesn’t want anyone to know, she’d kill me if she knew that you found out”

“ don’t worry about i won’t say anything, i’m glad your getting some finally” mark jokes

“ shut up bro” jungwoo throws a pillow at mark

“ oh he’ll nah that’s the pillow you were thrusting” mark shrieks kicking it off the bed

“ goodnight jungwoo, don’t wake me up again with your obnoxious moaning and shit”

—————————————————————————

(mark and haechan are in my nct dream ver!)

thank you so much for your request!! i’m so sorry that this took so long my tumblr was glitching for days

( idk why the 127 ver came out so much more smutty than the dream ver lol)

i hope you enjoyed <3

[rapunzelbro]

Imagine Angel Dust Accidentally Hurting You And Having a Break Down

Hi! Enjoy this angst fic sorry not sorry. This dude has my absolute heart and I ugh. Gimme all the requests for him.

Masterlist Taglist

Angel Dust is never one to be violent by any means

Dude is one of the sweetest and traumatized demons in all of hell he wouldn’t want to hurt a soul

So when he comes back late to the hotel hurt and in an annoyed state you’re surprised as hell

But you don’t expect him to lash out at you

Let alone back you into a wall yelling about how he is fine, when you try to ask what’s wrong

He slams his fist into your shoulder on accident, when he meant to hit the wall

He instantly is frozen when he hears the noise of his fist colliding with your shoulder at full force before it did hit the wall

“Shit shit shit shit fuck! FUCK! THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN”

He is instantly so terrified, he starts breaking down right there, tears falling as he hits the floor, practically hyperventilating

While you’re in pain, you feel if you show it, it will only make it worse. But holy shit that dude has quite the punch.

You quickly stepping into action to help calm him down

It takes so so long but through breathing exercises you help him collect himself

You two are on the floor together silent as can be, his head is buried in your lap while he is still crying, he doesn’t want to look up he is so so terrified if he does you’ll start screaming at him.

“Angel, I hope you know I’m not mad..”

“I hurt you.. I never want to hurt you”

“I know you didn’t mean it love.. take your time”

Him looking up at you with tears in his eyes and all you do is smile reassuringly at him as you try your best to wipe the tears from his face

It causes him to cry more that you deal with him throughout all of his bullshit issues he has

You picking him up and taking him back to his room and take care of his injuries he probably got from Valentino

You wanted to murder that fucking asshole so bad for hurting him

He sits and tells you what happened when he finally collects himself and you just listen before giving him the most gentlest hug

You two stay like that for a while. He is so touch starved and loves your touch, he doesn’t want to let go, he doesn’t want to loose you

Him asking you to stay with him for tonight and you gladly stay once you take care of your shoulder

He is beyond guilty and insists on helping instantly

You two fall asleep in each others embrace calmed by being together

Taglist Angel Dust tag list: @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @satansmanager @storydays

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine intentionally making Sabo cry

I wrote this while a little intoxicated as I was catching up with the latest one piece episode. I didn't remember most of the Revolutionary Army members' names in the moment, so I improvised. I have elected to keep the improvisations while including the actual names because I found them funny.

That steampunk cat-looking MF (Lindbergh): oh no, Sabo got poison in his eyes. We need to wash it out!

Goth dude (Karasu): we don't have any water!

Sabo: that's okay guys I'll just die, I wouldn't want to be a bother. [Wiping tears on his sleeve]

Koala: [has an idea] We need water to get the poison out of his eyes, but he has the water in him! He needs to cry! Quickly everyone! Say something sad!

Giant bearded school girl (Morley): dead puppy

Flag bitch (Belo Betty): dead vibrator

Sabo: [snorts] Guys, stop, I'm fine, really.

Koala: no like, it has to be really personal. Like Robin told me, she missed you the most out of the two of us.

Sabo: she did? [Clearly moved]

Dragon: [touches Sabo on the shoulder] he told me the same thing.

Sabo: Guys, I told you I'm fine.

You: I think we'll need to pull out the big guns. I was saving this for if we ever became enemies, but here we go [squats down in front of Sabo and fixes him to the spot with direct eye contact]

Sabo: (⁠⑉⁠⊙⁠ȏ⁠⊙⁠) / / Oh?

You: Ace died thinking he'd, finally, get to see you again in the afterlife.

Sabo: WTF (Y/n)! {starts bawling]

Dragon: [stares at you quietly] ... Well damn

Ivankov: Well, we need to get you to cry, Sabo.

Sabo: I'm a literal fire-man, this poison is from a plant, it just burns up in my eyes! It has no effect on me!

You: then why are your eyes so red?

Sabo: It was because there was ash in them, but now it's, also, because you ripped out my heart!

You: ... Sorry

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