#with a specific flavor of transness

[mittensmorgul]

do you have any/know of any analyses on castiel's entire fall from heaven being queercoded (as in his fall from heaven is treated like a conservative family would treat a child coming out as lgbt) bc i cannot stop thinking about "When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost." the quote is driving me insane. if you dont have any thats fine i just. Man.

HELLO! and yes, i'm sure there's some on my blog, but finding them might take a bit... i've been really bad about replying to messages lately (i've only been on tumblr sporadically recently, but hopefully i'll be able to spend more time here soon... i'm finally getting a short break from real life nonsense soon... i just didn't want this to linger in the inbox and get buried.

Okay, so... *four hours later* i have been spelunking through my blog looking through a bunch of old tags, and i found a few things for you. There was a lot of Big Discussions that touch on the subject back around s12, that caused a lot of fractures in fandom and bad feelings, so I'm posting some of the links here but just know there's a lot more floating around (some of which i no longer have access to). so also tread lightly through some of these...

*FIVE HOURS LATER because i had to leave the house to Do Stuff...*

I FINALLY FOUND ONE POST SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THIS!

a long post that touches briefly on this:

and one more, because i've spent all day on this now :'D

I will say that if you explore some of the meta tags at the bottom of those posts, it'll likely lead you to more of the same, but i'm officially tapping out for tonight lol

[larrythefloridaman]

WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!

[megaderping]

I think the biggest issue with Naoto discussion is that there are so many intersecting perspectives with very strong feelings involved, and if a Persona 4 remake does happen, I fully suspect that Atlus is going to have their hands full figuring out how to handle the character in the modern day. First there's the cultural context of misogyny in the workplace and especially in the legal and justice systems in Japan, which informs Naoto's character a lot. It is important to consider this, as this was a Japanese game made in 2008 at a time where queer visibility wasn't nearly as prominent, but that alone doesn't invalidate criticism to the arc's execution, regardless of creator intention. A big point of contention is how the arc was handled. Specifically the way it uses talk of body alteration procedures, surgical equipment, and treats the idea of transition as scary. If you consider how draconian the laws behind legally transitioning in Japan are, you can perhaps make a case for why it might cause Naoto internal conflict as complete surgical transition/sterilization/diagnosis were all requirements at the time of the game's development and only recently were declared unconstitutional. Though, as this excellent video pointed out, it's possible this was meant to be a reference to the story Flowers for Algernon, given the weapon you get if you return there later. However, even if that was the intent, transgender people exist in Japan and have since well before Persona 4, and anime such as The Dirty Pair aired in the 80's with very progressive takes on transness. It's very unlikely that the team behind Persona 4 was completely unaware of queer issues and symbolism, given that Persona 3 had that infamous transphobic joke in the original version's babe hunt.

The Dirty Pair, a 1985 anime that was surprisingly progressive.

I think the issue, more than anything, is that the tropes at play don't exist in a vacuum and what comes after Naoto's dungeon raises a lot more red flags. Jokes about Naoto's chest size, the narrative framing Kanji's crush as only acceptable after the reveal, on top of the uncomfortable execution of the romance route in Naoto's Social Link. You get so much "Naoto is actually a girl" in a way where it's other characters talking about/over Naoto, which is what really makes the framing off putting to a lot of people, myself included. And it's not even that you can't do an arc about a female character fighting against prejudiced preconceptions in the criminal justice field without controversy, because Persona 5 pulled this off far less contentiously.

Sae Niijima deals with many similar themes but doesn't seem nearly as contentious, and I think a large part of that is due to Sae openly presenting as a woman from the start. The game openly depicts the misogyny from Sae's superiors and coworkers, such as how she's unmarried and fighting an uphill battle for success in a male-dominated field. Persona has toyed with these ideas in the aftermath of Persona 4 and even when revisiting older titles. Persona 2 went back and added the character of Shiori Miyashiro in the PSP release, a lady detective who has a lot in common with Naoto (e.g. knowingly endangering oneself to get the truth behind a supernatural case). It's also astonishing that we have Lala Escargot in Persona 5, which also had that infamous gay couple that played into horrible stereotypes that were only slightly fixed in royal's international release. Lala, whether trans or a drag queen, is given surprising respect, and her identity is never called into question. A Persona 4 remake could learn from this and cut back on the characters asserting what Naoto feels, what Naoto "really is," etc, and let Naoto and Naoto alone decide. Ultimately, Naoto means different things to different people, and these things can carry great personal weight and importance. Many trans and nonbinary Persona fans see themselves in Naoto. Others favor Naoto as some flavor of gnc or find Naoto embracing femininity and detective work empowering. I think the problem is that when this topic comes up, there's a lot of hostility. Trans fans and people who favor trans Naoto get told to shut up at best, and at worst get hit with shit tons of transphobia and gross conduct. On the other hand, I don't think people who prefer more canon-compliant depictions of Naoto are inherently malicious. It's how they approach these discussions and treat people that makes a difference. Just because someone uses she/her for Naoto doesn't mean they're being intentionally transphobic, but I totally get people wanting to avoid material that uses those pronouns all the same. I also don't think people are wrong to be uncomfortable with the resolution of Naoto's arc in canon. I think people who get upset when fanworks go with trans or NB interpretations of Naoto could stand to be more empathetic, as a lot of those fanworks come from people who connected to Naoto and want to explore what could've been. I don't think more canon-compliant fanworks are inherently malicious either, but no one is obligated to stick around works or spaces that make them feel uncomfortable. Tbh, I'm just wondering what Atlus will do. Persona 3 Reload removed that one transphobic joke during the babe hunt in all languages. Persona 5 Tactica had male marriage fantasies for Joker. I think Atlus is trying to be more inclusive, but Persona 3 Reload also kept Toriumi's crush on the protagonist and Chihiro defending student-teacher romances, so it's really unclear how much of Persona 4's more divisive aspects will be retooled. Because it's not just Naoto. Persona 4 has a lot of aspects that haven't aged well, like all the jokes about Kanji being predatory if he's attracted to guys, or Kashiwagi being creepy toward students, or the fatphobia with Hanako while Ebihara's past of being overweight is treated with more sympathy. I love Naoto and Persona 4, but I also think it's important to be able to criticize elements of the game that could be executed better.

[nothorses]

following ur post abt 'masculinity' vs 'patriarchal manhood' i think we also need to be working on saying 'gender-/bioessentialism' instead of 'terf rhetoric' re intracommunity issues. esp if the person you're accusing of spouting 'terf rhetoric' is a trans woman. like, a large part of 'terf rhetoric' is wanting trans people dead. the issue that's spilling over is the gender essentialism, not the genocidal aspirations. call a spade a spade.

I very much agree about the "terf rhetoric" thing being applied to shit that is very much not terf rhetoric- like, regular-ass transphobia- but I think we sorely underutilize the term "radical feminism", too.

like there absolutely are people who are just "terfs but for trans people", and even people openly calling themselves "tirfs (trans-inclusive radical feminists)". these are radical feminists. we should be calling them radical feminists, and we should be pointing out the flaws in radical feminism, because too many people seem to think it's a good thing as long as you also say "trans women are women".

and radical feminism is built on gender-essentialism/bio-essentialism! that's the core of the ideology!

but it's different when a conservative is espousing those ideas vs. a radical feminist; it's the difference between "women are meant to make babies and serve men" vs. "women are perfect perma-victims who are in danger every time they interact with or see any man". Both of these are gender-essentialism or bio-essentialism (or both), but they're not the same ideology.

there's this idea floating around that actually, trans people can't be radfems, and radfems are never trans-inclusive. radical feminism is built on gender-essentialism, after all, which is inherently hostile to transness.

and I'd agree that radfeminism is hostile to transness; "trans-inclusive" radfems are not really trans-inclusive in any meaningful way, because their ideology fundamentally disagrees with a myriad of ideas essential to understanding transness: that gender is neither binary nor immutable, and that gender does not necessarily determine your experiences, or who you are.

but they do exist, and they have for a long time. see "baeddelism": it was and has been pretty niche, but the central idea behind it was that trans women are universally and necessarily more oppressed than any other trans person, and that trans women are oppressed by other trans people. specifically trans men, as the original movement generally didn't believe nonbinary people could or did exist. and this was in close relationship with the other core idea that these gendered experiences necessarily determine the kind of person you are: trans women are victims and therefore inherently safe (as long as they look and act a certain way- otherwise they aren't really women at all), and trans men are oppressors and therefore inherently violent and dangerous.

all of this relies on the idea that gender is binary, and determines your experiences and the person you are. it's gender-essentialism, but it's also very much a radfem-flavored kind of gender-essentialism, and the theory was built on and around radical feminist theory.

I don't think you disagree with any of that either, I'm just bringing it up because I think it's important to acknowledge how radical feminism has led to both TERF ideology, and "trans-inclusve" ideologies that, because they are rooted in radfeminism, are also harmful to and exclusive of trans people. it's not just gender-/bio-essentialism, it's the way those things are used, and why they've been successful in certain communities.

[velvetvexations]

bonus concept bc youve touched on it and idk how to shoehorn it into any given reply: fourth genders. (and also fifth genders).

fourth genders are the missing descriptor for transmasculinity and when i learned abt them the other night i almost cried bc i just kinda, idk, id begun to start believing that most non-western alt genders are skewed transfeminine and that transmasculine people just happened to not exist.

sometimes 3-5 are collapsed into third gender, but people and educational materials and stuff dont use the term to refer to transmasculine genders. the visibility here is sort of like, foundational visibility, in a sense: when learning basic overviews of queerness and queer history, trans women (and transfems/etc) know without a doubt that there have historically been people at least Somewhat Like Them.

(somewhat, bc, like, western concept of gender/simplifying/etc)

in lists of translated terms for trans identities in other cultures, the terms for trans women specifically sweep the board in comparison to any amount of terms that explicitly refer to transmasculine people (as in: like, listing both). i had to really scour through versions of a presentation about native american genders and saw, through iterations of it, missing transmasculine terms were added in at an oddly high rate

but when people take terms from it--theyre using the og version. they dont care enough to find the missing terms, to go "man, arent all these really specific for trans women?" its erasure through ambivalence and negligence.

i just idk, assumed that i just couldnt connect with transness in other places for the longest time, and before i knew i was trans, didnt understand that i was allowed to be trans in the opposite direction. id been kinda forcibly spoonfed the idea that trans men are less valued across time and space as a rule.

i mean fuck, i only learned about drag kings within like, the last year or two. its like repeatedly waking up and just learning that theres a term for the thing i am, its trans male, (and also genderqueer/bigender/etc etc etc), and then having some complex sort of mental reaction that idk how to describe, like having a portion of a certain flavor of existential dysphoria lessened (seeing a glimpse of existential euphoria?).

(once again in the back of my mind im concerned abt sending this and seeming weird esp bc of how long it is off anon, but also, the dopamine of the "ask answered" notification goes Crazy, and youre one of very few people who both Get It and enjoy like, communication en masse? like just showing up and infodumping at you)

Gender is a long path of self-discovery. It's amazing how much I'm still learning about myself even as old as I'm getting.

[prince-liest]

oh my god…. prince……. you can’t do this to me. you’re saying next fic has vox getting fucked, focuses on vox’s transness (AH), AND ALSO HES ON THE OFF SEE SAW OF HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH VAL?????? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MEE?!!?!!????? I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY COMBUST. and bc another anon asked abt how alastor views the violence in voxval’s relationship, i have Another thought on the matter. as much as alastor looks down on vox, they can be Very similar sometimes. they are both egomaniacs and very prideful. i don’t think vox, without outside interference, would ever ADMIT that the violence he faces is 1) something he truly hates AND 2) out of his control. he can’t admit he hates it, because then why isn’t he stopping it? that would be admitting to not being powerful enough or strong enough. and hello, 50’s toxic masculinity coming through, he CANT be a victim of domestic violence. he’s a powerful, rich, and important man. it all comes down to perceived weakness. so, the solution is to pretend he’s mostly fine with it. sure, he can act disgruntled and upset in the moment, but i don’t think he’d ever let himself take it seriously. because then he has to start drawing lines in the sand, and what happens then? will val look down on him? will he lose val? yeah, he is not risking that over a problem he mostly refuses to acknowledge exists. and as you said, this is all happening in the setting of hell, where ultra violence IS the norm, and vox himself is excessively violent. it’s the most delicious 50 layer cake of fucked up-ness.

RANT ASIDE THO. i have a question. 2. do you ever plan on having vox interact with the hotel crew outside of angel? ANDDDD what would charlie’s reaction be to their friendship/situationship/ kinda love affair. i think she could add SOOOOO much hilarity and Intense Emotions to this series. not that the boys haven’t been doing their part in that so far. charlie just intensifies everything she does, god bless her. -🌓

The "getting fucked" bit and the trans conversation bit are directly related to and relevant to each other, and frankly I'm just very happy to be out here writing the specific flavors of deeply queer shenanigans that I'm writing, and to have people actively enjoy that. It genuinely means a lot to me that I've strayed so goddamn far out of the bounds of good old top/bottom yaoi archetypes that introduced me to fandom and yet have a wildly enthusiastic audience nonetheless. So, that was my long way of saying that you bring me a lot of fucking joy, anon, hahaha.

As for everything you're saying about Vox, power, and masculinity: YOU! points dramatically at you YOU GET IT! YOU GET IT!!!!!! Everyone just read this, this is it, this is the thing. I have no notes to add. There is a reason that the main point he raises the moment he actually says something vulnerable about it (before he immediately cuts himself off) is a complaint that he's an overlord, so why—?

And with regards to your questions: I'm not gonna lie, my actual planning for 666 is usually, like, extremely by the seat of my pants. I plan nothing except, "Oh, shit, had an idea for the next one. Lesgoooo—" and that's been the case for literally every single installment. It's all just been evolving naturally and building on top of itself. So! I can't say that I plan to have Vox interact with the hotel crew or Charlie, but I also will never say that I'm actively opposed to it.

That said, I do think a lot of this fic is kinda structured around hitting specific topics that come up in intimate settings between Vox and Alastor specifically, with occasional tag-ins from Angel Dust, so I don't really know if there's anything in particular I'd like to write that I think would work better in this series if more characters got involved. But, hey! Never say never!

[thetepes]

The whole “trans men can pass way easier” and “trans men instantly gain privilege the moment they transition” and “this means they have no oppression specific to them” drives me crazy. No we don’t pass easily, no we don’t get privilege. Any privilege we could have gotten gets shot down by the fact we are TRANS.

I’m begging anyone to tell me a real life example of a trans man having and abusing his privilege as a man that isn’t just “he’s too opinionated in niche internet discourse”.

We aren’t put into positions of power. Our deaths aren’t covered as readily in the media. Bigots aren’t focusing on the man, they’re focusing on the TRANSNESS of us.

Transphobia comes in a multitude of patterns and flavors, why can’t we talk about the specific transphobia that get flung at us?

Amen, too bad they won't listen. They don't care about the truth because it means giving up an ounce of their perceived online power. None of anything they fantasize about is applicable in real life. They don't live in real life.

I had so much privilege as a man with huge tits and a bad haircut crying in the middle of a restaurant after being called mam again because even with a binder that was so tight it was causing tissue damage I still wasn't able to even pretend it didn't look like I had tits. Even with hair on my face, hair that grew on my face before T, still getting called mam cause I have an extremely feminine face. I just looked like a bearded lady.

I was never a man to anyone that looked at me. Just a hairy woman with shitty fashion sense. I didn't have male privilege. The idea that you're just suddenly given all the perks of maleness when you transition is laughable.

ESPECIALLY when you aren't fucking WHITE. Then you're just the hairy foreigner stereotype and people keep giving you hair removal products trying to help you look more feminine because they just assume you want to look more feminine, but can't. It's not your fault you're ugly, fat brown girl, there there. Just shave and you'll be more palatable! Maybe then someone will love you!

I could rant about for hours. This shit never changes.

[fizzyvitals]

I’m not a big guy on “you should follow me because…” but I want to grow this platform the best I can. Therefore, hello! I’m a 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ creator who happens to have unstable joints. Some interesting facts about me :} ->

I have four dogs (babies) named Britches (baby girl), Bandit, Whiskey, and Max

I came out as queer (specifically bisexual) April-ish 2018 and as a transgender man August 5, 2020. Although I had questioned my gender since around 2018. Along the way I’ve learned to accept my queerness & transness. I’ve documented things about being queer & trans youth over on my Instagram 💙

I’ve always wanted to play the drums, although I’ve always had a keyboard piano 🎹

I hate artificial grape flavoring but I love actual grapes

I used to get up at 6am-ish to play Pokémon cards with my brothers ex girlfriends son. My favorite Pokémon is your typical Pikachu… and Charizard ngl.

I’ve had fourteen dogs throughout my 17 years of life. My favorite flowers are roses, tulips, and morning glories

My dream vehicle is a Chevrolet Silverado

I’m attempting to get into a neuroscience program which will also allow me to close the gap with my long distance partner who I’ve known since ‘16 💙 (either way I’m going).

I attempt to put a song with every tumblr post I do. Usually the song is attached to the post, but this time it’s just a song I love. If it’s about my partner Steven you may see a lot of Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift 🤝

Ciao,

Azhtynn Ezeryn-Myllo

[cardentist]

apparently there's discourse (not in the bad way, just the discussion way) surrounding lich and trans headcanons because of how he talks about michaela in the books

so here's my opinion as a trans person (other trans people are allowed to have different opinions but this one is mine):

I believe that mothy himself is well meaning about his trans and gay representation, but is unfamiliar with what We'd consider problematic. I'm not familiar enough with either mothy or the general culture of japan to say if this is the result of mothy himself being out of touch, or japanese queer culture just being different from the US's. but either way this is my read on the situation.

and so I engage with evillious with that in mind. it's a series that means well but has problematic elements. and that doesn't have to be a Bad thing, it's just something that needs some awareness while taking it in.

so when mothy writes lich openly acknowledging and accepting that michaela is his sister but then Also has him refer to her with her dead name I don't see that as mothy intentionally portraying lich as transphobic or unaccepting of her. it is, after all, how mothy chose to reveal that she was a trans woman in the first place (introducing us to "lich's brother michael" and having it revealed that she was michaela all along, and having lich acknowledge her as his sister now).

and I think there are two ways to go about this with this understanding.

we could simply gloss over the issue, because at the end of the day we're not going to be able to sit mothy down and explain why it can be hurtful to trans people. we don't have that direct communication with him. and it's not being written with the intent of being read as malicious on lich's part, so it's simply easier to smooth it over.

Or we could translate mothy being well intentioned but misinformed onto lich as a character trait. this works best within the context of him having to learn what he's doing wrong and grow, but obviously it's up to personal interpretation.

as for trans headcanons, there's nothing wrong with that in the first place. trans people are misinformed sometimes, nobody comes out of the womb socially conscious and fully aware of modern sensibilities.

having lich realize that they aren't a man could be tied into lich gaining a better understanding of transness. having lich be transmasc already and just not knowing any better because He doesn't mind these things and hasn't stopped to think that other people may feel differently. having lich be whatever flavor of trans you want in whatever way you want just because it's fun and you'd like to. it's all fine and doesn't hurt anybody

I would Also like to point out that levia has been making fun of behemo for wearing dresses and make up since she was introduced as a character, and people tend not to call her transphobic or highlight this as transphobia.

yes, there is more ambiguity in behemo's case as mothy has never stated outright what behemo's identity is, but calling someone you interpret as a man disgusting or weird for wearing dresses Is Transphobia (and was specifically highlighted As transphobia/bigotry that behemo has faced during barisol's child) regardless of what that person's gender actually is.

I personally like levia a lot, just like I like lich and behemo and michaela, and Personally I think they're all trans Because I like them. and I'm not saying that we should Start defining levia's character by this trait.

but I Am saying that it's an obvious double standard to hold lich as a character accountable while Not doing the same for levia when arguably levia is intentionally written as being harmful while lich isn't.

anyways, I think it's funny if levia realizes he's a trans man that still likes to wear dresses and make up, and I think lich is seth's boyfriend and banica's girlfriend and eater's -̴̱͔̫̭̎̆͆-̴̠͚͘͜-̶̺̰̙̦͗-̸̡̻̽̅-̴̢̹̰̠͐͑̃̈̑friend, and equally trans no matter what

(also potential lich and carlos dynamic intrigues me but I think it's much funnier if they aren't dating each other. banica's husband and banica's girlfriend silently and awkwardly eating brunch together because they figure they're supposed to hang out but between the two of them there isn't one drop of social intelligence)

(they do this every day, it never gets any better)

[fishtomale]

Hey just wondering, what's the whole thing with the transandrophobia tag about. I heard it was just to talk about transmasc struggles. Is the term problematic?

I am tired but this may be in earnest and I do think there are misconceptions here, so I will try to answer. I would highly encourage input from others in reblogs and replies if you feel I misstated something or could have elaborated or included more.

The problem with the term transandrophobia is mostly in the androphobia part that implies that manhood is, or can be, the basis of oppression. This harms all women and those impacted by patriarchy, but it definitely doubles down on trans women because it cheapens the use of the term transmisogny. The thing is, transmisogyny isn't defined as transphobia flavored to affect trans women, something the term transandrophobia implies by presenting itself as an equal opposite to transmisogyny. Transmisogyny is instead a unique intersection of two oppressive spheres that uniquely impacts trans women, and those spheres are misogyny and transphobia. There is no way to utilize the term transandrophobia and related terminology without implying that misogyny is a bias or flavor of transphobia, rather than it's own unique oppression sphere, therefore downplaying the oppression of all women, trans and cis, under patriarchy.

Trans men are oppressed for our transness, and our transness is inherent in our identity as men, but it is not necessarily manhood that is being punished by oppressive spheres. We are punished for our transness and perceived proximity to womanhood and our aberration from it, which is best described by the already existing term transphobia (and sometimes misogyny, but not the intersection of the two).

The thing is that while trans men face a lot of issues specific towards us, having a term like transandrophobia is dishonest to the fact that trans women are oppressed as a unique class of women and as a unique class of trans people and therefore face more physical and sexual violence as well as workplace and housing discrimination than we do. I wouldn't say that trans men have full access to patriarchal power in most situations, but in the trans community we do hold privilege of trans women, and there are still opportunities for us to talk about how our manhood intersects with our struggles without rendering trans women's language meaningless. Under our current patriarchal society there are multiple classes of men who face unique expressions of oppression and may in some cases not have full access to patriarchal powers, such as men of color, gay men, and disabled men to name a few. Men in these classes may face higher levels of violence, lack of agency, and denial of their manhood or humanity based on their unique classes of oppression, but generally not at the same level as women in the same communities (by large), and therefore we should not deny their male privilege or create new language to imply they are exempt from gender-based privileges and therefore denying women's oppression.

When I see people clinging to and defending terms like transandrophobia I see a willful ignorance towards and lack of regard and respect for trans women, and that's why I don't want to boost those voices or validate that word.

[luciferfemme]

Some gay as fuck questions

What’s your favorite piece of problematic gay media? 

Who’s a gay-lebrity you love? 

who’s a gay-lebrity you loathe?

What’s a piece of gay (or gay adjacent) media you have brain rot for? 

what are your thoughts about LGBTQIA+ period pieces? 

do you believe in astrology? 

tell me about a celebrity who’s gender/style you’d like to steal

how many times have you come out? 

what was your coming out experience like? 

if you could tell your younger self something what would it be? 

tell me about your first queer crush

tell me about your first queer kiss

recommend a song to me that’s GAY™

what’s a piece of queer media you just can’t get behind? 

quick tell me your worst top and bottom takes

what’s the messiest thing you have ever done? 

have you ever had a crush on your best friend? 

have you ever had a crush on someone who was clearly straight? 

have you ever dated someone of the opposite sex what was that like? 

are you spiritually inclined? 

Do you have catholic guilt (have you made it sexy yet?)

what is your “stereotypically gay™ thing?” 

how did you imagine yourself growing up

if money were no object where would you live? 

is there anybody that you’re crushing on? Tell me about them. 

if you’re in a relationship how did you meet them?

what’s the secret to finding someone? 

what is the silliest sexy moment you can think of? 

do you have a good relationship with your parents? 

boybands or girlbands?

do you like your community’s assigned Pride flag? 

how would you describe your aesthetic in one sentence? 

favorite animal? 

favorite celestial body? 

favorite flavor of ice cream

fun/random fact you know

your favorite quote 

name one straight person

what transed your gender? 

what is your current obsession? 

what did you want to be when you grew up? 

tell me about a time when queer visibility helped you

what would your message be to someone just coming out? 

what would your reality show tagline be? 

favorite historical queer person? 

what gay icon™ do you worship? 

favorite stuffed animal? 

tell me about your bff? 

have you ever had a platonic soulmate? 

can you math? 

what supernatural thing  do you wish was real? (vampires, ghosts, werewolves, etc)

if money were no object what would your ideal style be? 

what is the most ridiculously specific thing you own that you would never get rid of and love regardless of it’s use or value? 

favorite queer horror icon

what is your favorite queer love story? 

does seeing other people’s gay love make you feel lonely (if you’re single?)

what brings you joy?

how many tabs are open on your desktop right now? 

what is your dream date? 

what are you yearning for most right now? 

[party-gilmore]

…i am beginning to re-analyze (netrual to positive ) my relationship with my mother, because like

i’ve always been very happy about our closeness but also recognizing it was very UNUSUAL, the way our relationship was when compared to the mother-daughter of other girls growing up (especially in the high school phase) and now in adulthood like there’s just a level to us that i keep noticing is different then most, even other really great positive mother-daughter examples

and i was just kinda thinking very loosely about that as i stepped into the elevator just in general conceptual terms then cognizance slammed into me like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN

it cuz. our fucking closeness is like. the flavor is specifically, like.

a stereotypical jewish mother-son relationship instead

like even before the transness hit, growing up pretty nonchalantly content as girl … the GNC in general was still THERE, and i was ALWAYS more masc and like

now i’m just staring back at interactions like You Fool. Thou Art Blind As First Love. How Didst Thee Not NOTICE?

[rivilu]

I read your notes about DAQ on that wyll vs dorian post and i just could not agree more. Specifically the thing about krem you said, i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association. Like no my inquisitioner would not say any of that shit!!! He is trans!!!! And you could tell that shit was not written by a trans person. I think they were trying to avoid using many trans specific words to fit in with the setting but like? "Why do you pass?" Is not a question that makes sense for someone to ask and i hate that theyre taking an existing trans term and trying to make it mean like....the entire concept of transitioning?? Idk i feel like i would be more ok if they could have you be like "oh dw i am also trans" but nah we as the player are just assumed to be cis. Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

Oh dont get me started I could talk about my gripes with the handling of transness in dragon age (and particularly inquisition) forever. Actually do get me started this has been a long time coming.

i absolutely hate how the game while trying to introduce trans friendly concepts just. Forcibly makes your character cis in association

YEP. Yep yes exactly. your options are 'three flavors of being transphobic' or 'when did you know' . which is what i picked, because you can stretch your imagination a little at least.

But there's also this other tiny elephant in the room issue with Krem that i didnt mention in those tags. Or should i say. Bull in the room ? Because holy shit, way to take away the trans character's speaking voice and characterization so we get to know how much of an ✨Ally ✨the cis man bestie is! Like okay if you're being a transphobic shithead it makes a bit More sense that he'd get defensive and speak up for Krem, but when your question was 'when did you know', Krem answers 'when i was young. not a great thing to know about yourself' and then Bull immediately cuts in to cisplain transness is like? What was the Idea there. Which then makes the dialogue choices being 90% straight up transphobia MORE suspicious, because the game is letting you, almost pushing you to verbally harass Krem.. almost like he doesn't REALLY matter, he's just a vessel to see how Progressive And Trans Friendly And A Good Friend Bull is. Thanks, i hate it.

Even in terms of backstory Bull being Krems savior when he was trying to escape his life etc never really sat right with me. Like there's an underlying demsel vibe i feel the devs stuck in there that really irks me. Not helped by the fact that we dont have a trans voice actor. Also not helped by the fact that this is a fantasy setting with magic but some form of magic hrt? Nah too impossible. Like sure there's some implication that it MIGHT exist somewhere but because magic Bad in the dragon age setting and tevinter magic Even Worse he wouldn't go for it- Like ok. some people might prefer their trans realism in faux medieval media. even fantasy. Im not one of those people. And all those justifications read more like excuses to me. Like you're telling me the circles wouldn't be making BANK out of selling trans-your-gender potions and abusing the shit out of it? And just. Again this makes the setting retroactively much Worse because where before i could point to my warden or Hawke and go 'yeah that's a trans man via magic hrt' and someone who prefers trans realism could ALSO do the same when making theirs how they like. Vagueness in such matters allows for imagination! But now dai is saying noo they had to be cis. And your inquisitor also. Fuck that.

Also yeah as you said, inventing transphobia in a series where that wasnt present before, its annoying.

one tiny correction here. there were hints of transphobia in the first two games, but it was mostly contained in like. Oghren style aged like milk type humor. more meta than text i guess. like in the Pearl in game one if you ask to be surprised there's a chance you get the ever hilarious 'haha you got man in a dress' *crickets* And then Serendipity in mark of the assassin.. well the wiki says she's meant to be a drag queen. So not 100% related to this discussion. But the execution of her character just felt SO mean spirited to me when i was playing that i felt it needed to be mentioned as well. (So i just love her out of spite now. ) But anyway yeah. Out of all the lgbtq things dragon age touches on i feel like gender is one that they. dont really even try to tackle in good faith. And it just got worse as the games went on. I can handle easily skippable side gags that are shitty and unfunny. Inquisition tries to actually bring ATTENTION to the topic, and proceeds to fall flat on its face. Not to mention Sera. Them having one of the main companions being transphobic in banter.

Bioware when I catch you Bioware. Bioware when i catch you.

[goose-books]

3 for Anna and Errans, and also 20 and 21 :3

i meant to remember to answer these before the last day of pride month. and then! anyway,

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

(godsong WIP page with links) (for context, anna is god's specialest girl ever and the main character, and she's a transfemme nonbinary lesbian. errans is a minor side character with terrible sideburns and transmasc unswag)

anna grew up in a city where priests have a special gender and pronoun, and she was designated a priest at age 11 by the gods, so her transness started as sort of an occupational thing; she was like, "okay, i'm priestgender," and then progressed to, "wait, i like this gender stuff." you are allowed to be priestgender and also another thing, and getting to explore her presentation at the temple lead to the realization that her Other Thing was womanhood (nonbinary-flavored). more a sister than a woman etc <3

as for the lesbianism, i don't think that was ever a discovery for him; there's no homophobia in ivander and his parents are in a bisexual polycule, so i think he just always knew his future person would be a woman. (i say "person" because ivander doesn't have legal marriage, but there is a religious equivalent if you want to dedicate yourself to someone long-term; otherwise you can just do Whatever. city that is absolutely bursting with gender and fruitiness)

errans i'm less sure about dskhfkdsfkdsnfsd. i know he came out as trans when he was around sixteenish; i think he knew he was bisexual first, and the image coming to me is errans experiencing the "do-i-want-to-date-that-guy-or-be-that-guy" about someone he probably never actually spoke to. i don't get a vibe like he ever loathed being a woman, more so that eventually he just realized he could simply be a man. for free. and was like. "well this is clearly so much more what i'm supposed to be doing"

now i'm thinking about awkward teenage errans and his awkward genvy crushes. god bless him

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

sigh. well i have to tell the story don't i. POV: you are [max], age 12, working on the first iteration of the story that will become TMR (my on-hiatus YA transgender evil-faerie high fantasy). you give the character who will become moon marigold all of your uncomfortable feelings about your body, feelings that are certainly not physical dysphoria because you are cisgender. about a year or so later, you realize that this WIP is full of cishet white people (i have since remedied this), and you should really add some diversity. hey, moon's got weird body feelings! what if you made her genderfluid? that sounds great! you are not thinking at all about where those weird body feelings may have come from or how this may reflect on anything at all.

POV: you are [max], still age 13ish, and you've got a new WIP (it's my also-on-hiatus NA monsters-in-NYC thing). you are going to put a binary transgender person in it. not for any specific reason. you just wanted to. who can say why. certainly not you. anyway you've never done this before and you are a little nervous because how can you, as a cisgender person, accurately represent a trans character? you muse about how to write dysphoria as you dress up for an orchestra concert, in an outfit that is extremely feminine. halfway through, you get derailed by crying real tears about said feminine outfit, because now the boy who sits beside you in the orchestra will know that you are a girl (because your long hair and name clearly couldn't have tipped him off beforehand). could you draw on this experience to describe dysphoria, you wonder? or maybe that other time you cried in the shower? but that's bad and wrong, isn't it? because you're cisgender. so comparing your own... whatever this is... to dysphoria would be an APPROPRIATION of dysphoria! how villainously cis of you! how horrible! you'll have to figure out some other way to write this character.

...anyway. thank you to moon and augustus for that. my kings my brothers in arms. and they BOTH do arson in their respective WIPs, so maybe i have another plot twist in my future?

21. Free ramble card wee

FREE RAMBLE WEE... hmm, well, since i've already touched on it a little in this ask, one of the most interesting things about worldbuilding for godsong is that most of the major settings don't have homophobia/transphobia/misogyny the same way that our world does. (i say most because ambergris is stuck in misogynyville. it's probably fine and i bet she won't get violent.) i honestly didn't think super hard about this; i just wanted to write a high fantasy world where women and nonbinary people and bisexuals and lesbians can hold positions of (sometimes corrupt) power, or where the chosen one can be a transfemme lesbian whose issues aren't transphobia but how to complete her quest.

except then i realized that not having homophobia/transphobia/misogyny invites so many other questions about the social fabric of a society. i mean, the modern legal concept of marriage is rooted pretty solidly in heterosexual relationships wherein women move from one family to another, right? so if gender relations are entirely different, do these places even have marriage? do these places even have gender? this is something i'm still figuring out (and honestly, if anyone has suggestions for media that pokes at this kind of thing, i'd love to hear them!). the two main cities in godsong are ivander (a theocracy) and farria (a democracy with a new revolution every tuesday), and i've been playing around in my head with some of the differences--for example, in ivander, being trans is generally considered holy, because the city's patron god is many-gendered; in farria, being trans is something nobody thinks twice about, because everyone is focused on Just Getting By. in ivander, there are at least three defined genders (man, woman, and priest) which can all overlap. in farria, gender doesn't define social relations so much as a parallel hierarchy of military and/or governmental power--eg, farria's very own neopronouns marc antony isn't afraid of "emasculation" in the gender sense, because xir gender is "if you like me you're gay," but xe's terrified of emasculation (for lack of a better word) in the sense of being seen as weak/submissive. in farria these things are way less connected than they are in our world. i'm still working out a lot of the details, but it's been a lot of fun to think about :3

wow that sure was a free ramble. thank you for the asks rook i love you so much <3

(pride asks!)

[a-controversial-bean]

The main reason I made this blog is honestly because I am so sick of the lack of nuance I see around the term "transandrophobia"

My stance is that transandrophbia is a real thing we should draw attention to, but also that most people talking about it do so in the most annoying and/or hateful ways.

Just like trans women/fems experience gendered violence and discrimination that is different from cis women, so do trans men/mascs. We're not "woman lite" but much of the world still treats us that way. Although cis men carry a gender with privilege over all others, trans men do not (except in cases where they are cis-passing, and even then, that privilege gets revoked the second you're outed). We experience a flavor of misogyny, but the term transmisogyny describes a specific type of misogyny that trans women experience. Stealing that term would obviously be wrong, hence the creation of the term transandrophbia.

Personally, I think the term itself could use some more workshopping, but it's not like I have any better suggestions at this time either. I just don't think the term clearly expresses how we're talking about a specific gendered discrimination that impacts trans mascs in a way that cis men, cis women, and trans fems don't go through. This isn't saying that we have it any worse than trans fems. God no. That's part of why I'm so annoyed at many folks discussing transandrophbia. Creating a hierarchy of who faces worse oppression is bullshit. Trans women/fems are oppressed in our current constructions of gender and sex. So are trans men/mascs. So are cis women. And nonbinary people. And intersex people of literally any gender. I'm all for the creation of terms to describe these unique experiences! What I hate is trying to pit these terms against each other.

I often see white trans mascs trying to use racial comparisons to explain this, and it pisses me the fuck off. Don't do that. You're making all of us look bad and embarrassing yourself when you show such a lack of understanding towards intersectionaliity. However, I do think there are other comparisons that work better!

Specifically, disability has a GREAT comparison to draw from. It even has a few (false) binaries you can use to make your point!

All disabled people face ableism in some way or another, just like all marginalized genders face their own flavor of misogyny. People like to separate the disabled into categories like low/high support needs, visible/invisible, and physical/mental. Someone labeled as high support needs is often denied agency, while low support needs folks are often denied accommodations. Visible disabilities will have people asking too many uncomfortable and invasive questions, while invisible ones will have people saying you don't "look disabled". But at the end of the day, it's all just ableism. Repackaged to fit the individual, but ableism none the less. It can be convenient though to quickly say which category of ableism you experience, rather than drone on about details.

I would rather say "I experience transandrophbia" than explain how "I experience a kind of misogyny where my transness means people either see me as a failed woman or a creepy man depending on what's more convenient for their narrative. Living as a trans guy, especially in the years where I still had H cups on my chest, led to increased violence and bigotry in my life. In cis circles I'm rejected for being trans, and in queer circles I'm rejected for embracing my masculinity. Unless I surround myself with only trans mascs, my gender almost always makes me an outcast. " Even that statement is a super simplified and condensed version of the gendered violence I faced. Am I not allowed a term to succinctly express that sentiment?

Tldr: If you deny that trans men/mascs experience transandrophbia, then I hate you. If you use transandrophbia to shit on trans women/fems, then I also hate you.

[feelkindadizzy]

We are afrodescendants and from western France. Most of our family is white. We are also plural, and while many of us are individually alloromantic, we use "aromantic" for ourselves as a whole, to describe the fact that none of us are interested in anyone romantically outside of ourselves.

We grew up in a very white area (western France is deeply racist because of its history), meaning we are now surrounded by WHITE queer people (some of them are arospec). Much like all of our identities, white people tend to think of us as being arospec with some kind of afrodescendant flavor which is very weird. Sometimes they will acknowledge that we have it worse than them, but that's about it. Because of that we have a hard time determining how being afrodescendant and aro are deeply connected. We never thought about it before reading this post, actually.

So we'll have to think about it. But in the meantime I can say that being non-white and living in a very, very white and racist area, means we feel alienated no matter what because even the people who technically use the same labels as us are so far from us... Sometimes it feels weird to use the same words as white people, you know.

Sometimes we wonder... If this feeling of alienation isn't some kind of root cause for our aromanticism. Because we've been told again and again from a young age that we were fundamentally different from our white peers. When talking about this alienation here, I'm not referring to our madness / craziness (folie), or to our queerness and transness, but specifically to our race and how dehumanizing racism is. We think about that sometimes, because the idea of being in a romantic or queerplatonic relationship with another person of color almost feels possible at times, while being with a white person feels completely undesirable.

Thanks a lot for this post ! 💚 We are so wrapped up in white circles that we forget that we are so very different from them and that we have very different lives. We really enjoyed reading everyone's addition to this post too.

i’d like to read about non-white aro experiences (as well as experiences of aro people from outside the US and UK). i don’t think there are enough explicitly non-white conversations about aromanticism. i remember seeing a demographic poll a long time ago, with a majority of aromantic tumblr identifying as white, but non-white aros exist!

i want to hear from people who can’t/won’t come out because of cultural expectations or language barriers. people who use different words to describe their aromanticism. people who experience isolation from the aro community because they aren’t white (enough). i want to hear about aromanticism from new angles!

of course, no one is ever obligated to reveal their ethnicity or race online. but if anyone has seen writing on diverse aro experiences or if they want to share their own experiences, i’d like to read about other perspectives! (pls send stuff my way)