#witchy Schmuck | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deathfm · 5 years ago

Text

( margaret qualley. nineteen. she/her. ) everything’s fine, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS, you’re in the good place! do you remember your last days in THE ADDAM’S FAMILY VALUES? but don’t worry, your ( chipped black nail polish, a sweet smile that promises nothing good, hollowness in her dark eyes, a dark monotone ) will fit perfectly with the rest of the good place, so long as you commit to the MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL despite your tendency to commit to ( apathy ) that the architect of the good place said you were. it’ll just be like a fun acting exercise! just play along and everything will continue to be fun. ( pepper. twenty three. est. she/her)

ABOUT THE MUN. gay in the house and i’m in the house gay

hey bitch, do you really, really, really wanna go hard? hello all! my name is pepper. i meant to do this intro bit a bit earlier but i got very distracted by dr. stone so i apologize for that! i am also going to apologize in advance because i 1. have not rped in like three weeks and frankly you’re gonna be able to tell, i am very rusty and 2. i haven’t been in a multifandom rp.... in at least like a year, so i’m also very rusty at that! that said i freaking love the good place and i could not pass up this opportunity! if anyone has watched the show and wants to cry with me over jason mendoza,,,, hit your girl up. that said omg okay a bit about me: i say omg, like, and literally way too often, so sorry about that in advance. i’m also very canadian, which probably explains all the apologizing sdkjsdk. i work in a grocery store so i’m technically essential which means i will be disappearing semi often to do long ass shifts at work (rip) but i’m almort always lurking on mobile or discord so pleathe,,, hmu. and finally plotting and exchanging headcannons and things? my freaking lifeblood. i live for that shit. please talk to me, i’m beggin’. okay sdkjdskj now onto some stuff about everybody’s favourite goth girl, ms wednesday addams.

CHARACTERIZATION. sorry for being a dark sorcerer. as if its my fault.

okay, if you’ve ever watched any addam’s family content... i am really not deviating much from that. the daughter of a rather eccentric morbid family who grew up rather eccentric and morbid herself. has always had a facination with death that she now just gets to nurture in this environment (although lowkey wednesday is kind of dissapointed by the whole set up i’m not gonna lie). you get the vibe.

died in 1993! the height of rock and roll, pop boy bands, and chokers.

definitely lowkey thinks that she’s a disappointment to her family for ending up in the good place in the first place. will be thrilled when it’s eventually revealed that this is the bad place. or well, as thrilled as wednesday gets.

wednesday addams is a demigirl and you can’t change my mind. honestly considering making her straight agender tbh, because that just seems like fact to me.

a bisexual icon. hates everybody but hates everybody equally. will fuck your shit up if you’re misogynistic, homophobic or racist. let me direct y’all to this video cause this is fact.

kind of an arsonist honestly. loves to set things aflame. definitely did indeed set her summer camp on fire. is pretty proud of it.

lowkey will miss her family so much while up here. she never really had friends outside of her family, like not real genuine ones. wednesday’s never really truly been on her own until the afterlife and she’s honestly a bit unsettled by it. won’t let it show in the slightest though, honestly you’d be sure pressed to see wednesday’s veil of indifference break for even a moment. that said, she definitely misses pugsley and lurch the most even though she’ll never admit it. might get lonely enough to actually attempt to find herself a friend we’ll see.

truly a little bit witchy, but like regular person witchy considering wednesday never had any powers in cannon and certainly doesn’t now. will do a seance in her place to attempt to see if she can reach the mortal realm. is very seriously wondering where the demons are. would have a lot of medieval weapons in her place if it really was catered to her, but seeing as things are meant to be a bit off wednesday’s place is probably filled with stuffed animals and dolls, but not even creepy dolls... but cute ones. the whole room is bubble gum pink and whenever she tries to paint the walls black they just revert back... she’s mad about it honestly.

that said wears black and only black at all times but that should be a given.

is definitely wondering where her ex joel is. like she figured he would have popped up here after she scared him to death and so she’s a bit confused, but rolling with it.

WANTED CONNECTIONS. winks with my third eye

A SUSPICIOUS BYSTANDER. honestly i would die,,, for someone who realizes that wednesday definitely doesn’t belong here and mayhaps a team cockroach situation? like they both know they’re in the wrong place and they try to help each other hide it. please,,, i need it.

PARTNER IN CRIME. kind of the new pugsley but it might be more of an equal relationship. basically someone who wednesday can drag into her messes. the person on the other side of the seance circle... they catch each other’s gaze through the incense smoke,,, the romance of it all no i’m kidding sorry sdkjdsj but i do want this connection!

UNLIKELY PAIR. an april and andy situation. they are complete opposites, one the doom and gloom and the other sunshine and rainbows,,, and yet someone it works. wednesday would kill someone for them.

TWO PEAS IN A POD. the opposite of the other connection because these two meet and just instantly click! they both have so much hate deep inside of them! and now they can share this hate with each other! it’s a match made in heaven (badum tsss) and probably one of the first times wednesday actually wants to really try to be friends with someone.

CRUSH. either on wednesdays end or theirs i just feel like this could be really fun!

ENEMY. someone who hates wednesday and who wednesday hates in return. their personalities just really clash, and wednesday knows that if she ever really does find herself in hell, she’s dragging them with her.

UNSUSPECTING NEIGHBOUR. i don’t know why but i just find the concept of there just being some poor schmuck who wednesday pesters for like a lock of their hair or something. like they don’t deserve this. but she’s bored here in paradise and she’s making a bit of a game out of creeping them out. after all, what else is there to do?

and anything else under the sun folks, i would love to plot something specific to our muses out! so yes, smash that like button and i will come running!

#gplaces.intro #this is messy as hell but here it is #it's been so long since i've played a muse with a set backstory... i didn't know what to do with myself tbh but i had fun anyways so!

17 notes · View notes

iainwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Last Call At Oblivion

Not all crossovers have to happen because of some world ending event. Not everything has to deal with cases of mistaken identity that have to be resolved with fights only for the parties to learn about a bigger threat. They don’t have to deal with bad blood or weird tensions or one upmanship (although, that can be fun). Sometimes, all it has to be are a group of colleagues getting together on a Friday night after yet another week of heroing and shooting the breeze. I drop links throughout to older pieces I’ve written that all get tied together. Like this.

“So I says to him, I says, ‘Look, you crab walking Nazi ass clown. You get one warning, then you get to choose: Doomy or a gun.’”

The blue demon next to the red devil nods his head knowingly, drains his mug. “What is it with the Nazi’s and the weird demons they summon? No offense.”

The red devil waves away the comment with a large, stony hand, as though it’s not worth mentioning. “I don’t know, man. They must drag the bottom of the Pit for the winners I deal with. I mean, come on! A Nazi summoning a demon these days? How stupid would the thing have to be to think, ‘Hey! That’s a horse I can back! These guys have a great winning streak!’” The red demon takes a long drag from the log sized stogie nestled in his stony hand. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something. That pig sticker you carry around. Is that…”

“Big Red! They still let you walk around with those muttonchops?”

The red devil slowly spins around on his bar stool, hooves carving grooves into the floor, looking for whichever poor, dumb schmuck was drunk enough to insult one of the more notorious patrons of the Oblivion Bar. He finds him, standing head and shoulders over everyone else in the bar, almost able to look the 7” behemoth square in the eye. And in spite of himself, Hellboy smiles.

“Stretch! Last I heard, they were keeping you locked up underground!” The two giants lake long strides across the bar floor, passing a magician in fishnet stockings, a talking chimpanzee holding court, and a man dressed in tatters that seem to have a life of their own. Meeting in the middle, they grab each other’s hand (the more normal sized one from Hellboy) and bring each other into a back slapping embrace.

“Jeez, big guy. Easy on the back. I’m pushing half a century here,” Harry Dresden cracks, the scar around his eye crinkling as he mock stumbles and grins.

“Half century? Pssh. Come talk to me in another couple decades, then you might be on my level.” The red demon jerks his head over to a corner of the bar, already roped off with a table and a wide array of chairs, stools and stumps surrounding it. The two make their way over, easily giving the other hell, the way familiar drinking buddies might.

Using his height, Harry uses the walk across the bar to try and spot any of his expected party. “First one, then?”

“Heh. For once,” Hellboy says. “Time zones, Stretch. And I had a look at your guest list. Think they might have gotten tied up with business?”

Dresden scratches at a beard that’s obviously still unfamiliar to him. “Time zones, my well toned ass. The whole world is going wacky.” The magician in the fishnet stockings overhears this particular comment, looks over, judges and gives an approving smile at him. He smiles ruefully back, saying, “Sorry, Z. I am now officially off the market. This ass belongs to one woman, and I think she’d kick it up around my ears if she heard I was seen flirting with other pretty ladies.”

From one of the many doors that seemed to move around the room, a woman who is nondescript compared to the other patrons walks through and takes a measured read of the place before noticing Dresden. Raising a hand in greeting, she calls over her shoulder to the young man standing in the doorway, looking incredibly unsure about this sudden change in his life. He hurries to keep at her heels, a hand compulsively clicking a pen at record speeds.

“Police Chief Maza,” Harry says warmly. “Karren wishes she could make it, but…”

“Duty calls, right?” the dark skinned woman replies knowingly. Despite looking like she’s among the eldest in the room by human standards, nothing about her indicates that age would slow her down in any way. The faded red leather jacket, the eyes that know and have seen things not dreamt of in Horatio’s philosophies and the ease she waves a drink over from the blue devil at the bar tells everyone present that Elisa Maza, though vanilla human, is one of them.

“Hey. Hold on. Who the hell is Junior? You can’t just walk a kid like him into Oblivion,” Hellboy growls, stepping into his job as bouncer. “Look. Unless you have a real good ID or someone can vouch for you, you’re out, kid.”

“What? I don’t even know where I am,” the young man chokes out. The thumb clicking the pen is now a blur. “I was helping Miss Maza with a monster problem back home, she said she had an appointment and I followed her and… Is that a talking monkey?”

“Chimp. Talking chimp. He gets touchy about that. And he’s probably smarter than you, kid. Stay focused. Do you have an ID or can anybody here vouch for you?”

The young man’s green eyes search helplessly around the crowd, trying to look for anyone that could be in any way, shape or form be familiar to him. “I don’t know! I’ve never been here before! How would I know anyone if I’ve never been somewhere before?”

A dark haired, purple eyed man leans back from his table at the noise to glance over, and nearly chokes on his drink, which is no small trick for those who know him. Standing up, he calls out in a strong voice, “I can vouch for the young man. Any Atlantean will. I swear this in the name of the King.”

Hellboy swings his gaze between the two, sizing up the smaller while apparently weighing the words of the other man in his head. “The King, huh? You sure about that, Garth? The kid gets in any trouble, you ready to foot the bill?”

“Trust me: I’d rather deal with you than his father if he finds out I didn’t help him.”

Nodding his craggy jaw, the big devil says, “Okay.” Looking to the young man, he gives a quick tip of his head. “You heard him, Junior. Garth is vouching for you. Now go thank the nice storm caller.”

Nodding frantically, the young man beelines over to his surprise advocate while Dresden and Maza catch up.

“How’s the family?” he asks, keeping an eye on the shifting doors of the room.

“Oh, you know. Lex’s been talking with Staghart and we’re all waiting for the news. Angela’s brood has everyone on their toes. The usual,” Elisa says with a small smile. She straightens her hair from out of her collar, giving Harry a quick glance at a ring.

“The usual. Yeah. The big guy looking after the kids tonight?”

The smile gets a little wider as her eyes crinkle. “He’s been getting all huffy about ‘my duties and responsibilities as both a parent and one responsible for the wellbeing of her people.’ Said I needed a night off, so he’d take the little ones out. How about yours?”

Harry’s eyes go unfocused for a moment, while his mind ends up somewhere other than Oblivion. “She’s good. They’re both good. I think I’m finally getting this ‘Dad’ thing figured out. It’s… You know how our regular lives are tough? I can’t count the number of times I end up freaking out about whether we should go to the zoo or the drive-in or for a walk in the park.”

“Yeah,” replies Elisa with a similar unfocused look in her eyes. “But you love every minute of it.”

“And wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world when they smile and the world is suddenly right.” The tall man and the shorter woman exchange a glance and a smile that says that nothing else needs to be said on the matter.

A man and a woman step through one of the doors of the bar, the two of them all but dwarfed by the other occupants. The woman is blonde, small in stature and cute in a mature way; like the aunt who was once head cheerleader. The man is only slightly taller than her, with jet black hair that looks like it resists any attempt at control, half-moon glasses and a robe over business clothes. Catching sight of the towering Dresden, he taps the elbow of the woman, points at the looming landmark that is their friend and motions that he’s heading for the bar. She makes her way through the crowd with a wolf’s grace and confidence, never appearing concerned about the people and things around her, but always aware of them.

“Hey, Other Harry,” the short woman says.

“Hey, Only Buffy,” Dresden replies. “How’s the weather in ‘Frisco?”

Squeezing Elisa’s arm in greeting, Buffy rolls her eyes. “Raining hard when I left, but that doesn’t mean anything. Not like we’re going outside to enjoy the sunshine these days.”

Hellboy, catching the sudden looks of concern from the group and anticipating the question, just says, “Magic barrier keeps anything unwanted out. We had some group of morons try to catch us with a Black Plague bomb a few years back, so the best and brightest hooked us up.”

Buffy waves back to the talking chimpanzee while uttering a small and simple, “Huh. Black Plague bomb. Sounds like something I would have run into in my wild and crazy days.”

“I got robots, lasers and genocidal Gargoyles,” Elsa says. “Oh. And half human/half animal or robot people. The Pack was a pain.”

“Tell me about it,” Dresden mutters as he waves them towards the table. “No word from Atticus or Verus?”

Buffy rests her hands on the back of one of the chairs and lifts it, like she’s interested to see how heavy it is. “Potter says Verus has been off the grid for the better part of the year. And our Council last heard that Atticus was doing some soul searching in Tasmania. Oh,” she says off handedly to Elsa, “and Bluestone said he’d stay in town for another couple of weeks.”

“Tell him to either drive back or get Alex to make a portal. If I hear he got on a plane and flew this thing to the castle, I’ll make Bronx sit on him.”

“I’ll see if Willow can witchy something up for him.”

The young man separates himself from Garth and his drinking companions with a hurried “Thanks” and a lot of bowing. The dark haired man with glasses carefully navigates his way through the crowd carrying a tray filled with glasses, bottles and pitchers. Dresden, Maza, and Buffy all find a spot at their saved table and cheer when the dark haired man lowers the tray without spilling or dropping a thing.

“Potter, for a guy who doesn’t drink, you do that too damn well,” Buffy jokes, grabbing a glass full of water and putting it in front of the young man.

The dark haired man smiles and says in a quiet voice with a cultured London accent, “You get experience as a parent. And as an uncle to a small horde.”

Reaching out for a bottle, Dresden asks, “And how is the whole Potter/Weasley/Granger/E-I-E-I-O clan these days?”

“Well, there was the whole ‘son might go over to the Dark side’ worry a few years back, but Albus is getting along fine. James is in his fifth year and Lily and Hugo are almost finished her first. Rose is constantly reminding the professors that’s she Hermione’s daughter, and has started taking after her uncle, may the Hallows protect us all,” Potter starts. He catches himself, and looks to Dresden. “Were you asking about the ENTIRE clan, because we could be here a while.”

“You’re good,” the taller man answers easily. “I hear through the Council grapevine how the rest of the family is, but McGonagall is pretty tightlipped about her students, even with former professors.”

Buffy stares at him before shaking her head. “I can’t believe they actually allowed you to teach kids at an actual school.”

“You and me both,” Dresden replies, raising his drink in salute.

The conversations continue in the vein of catching up on personal history before veering into what life is like in their corner of the magical world.

“I don’t think I ever apologized for wiping out an entire species of vampires, did I?” Dresden asks of Buffy. “That’s like losing the whole point of your career.”

“I think I can forgive you for destroying an entire group of blood sucking monsters,” she admits with a steely look in her eye, but a half grin across her face. “Didn’t slow down the rest of the world that much. And we’re good about the weekend where we accidentally erased magic, right?”

Potter waves the question away without even a thought. “Didn’t even notice that. Like it happened in a completely different universe entirely.”

“And I,” Elisa starts, getting the attention of everyone around her, “have nothing to apologize for because we know better than messing around with fundamental aspects of reality.”

Percy blinks, then looks around at the unassuming people sitting at the table. “Who ARE you people?”

Buffy raises her hand and says, “The Slayer.”

Dresden and Potter raise theirs in unison and say, “Wizard.”

Elisa puts a hand up as though to protect herself from the question and says, “Hey. I’m just a normal, everyday human.”

“That happens to be the head of a special magical taskforce,” Buffy adds as though it’s no big deal. “Oh yeah. And is married to a Gargoyle and has two, wait, three otherwise impossible children that may or may not be chosen by destiny. You know. The normal, everyday human way.”

Percy’s eyes go wider looking around the table and seeing these people in a new light. Potter nods at him. “What about you, Mr. Jackson? You walked into Oblivion and don’t seem that uncomfortable with what you’ve seen. You must have a story.”

“Yeah. Just don’t start it off with ‘I’ve saved the world on a yearly basis.’ That way lies a hurting bank account,” says Dresden behind his mug.

Percy takes a moment in silence to think, before saying a bit hesitantly, “Well. I’m a demi-god and Poseidon is my dad?”

The silence around the table and the tables around them is absolute, until Garth calls out, “Told you he’s good for it!” A lot of attention is suddenly on Percy from a number of the patrons, while he’s granted a new standing thanks to this not-so-minor reveal.

Potter leans over and pats Percy on the shoulder good naturedly. “As the sitting chairman for Adolescent Heroes Who Have Seen Things, I advise you to lead in with that one next time.”

“Did…” Dresden tries to sputter out. “Did Potter just try to make a joke?”

“Mr. Dresden,” Potter says. “I’m afraid to tell you that you do not have a monopoly on witty or sarcastic observations. You are just one mouthy American among many.”

The table just stares at him, each person trying their best to decide whether Potter has finally shown a sense of humor or if there’s actual malice in his words. The twinkle in his green eyes gives him away, though.

Buffy squints at Potter, a small grin starting to make its way across her face. “That had better not be a crack at me, mini-Giles. Because them’s fighting words.”

“Unless you’re a mouthy American who thinks she’s witty.”

“Witty. Me. Have you ever heard me talk in a fight?” Buffy asks rhetorically. “It’s like I’m channeling Spider-man. The second one. The skateboarder.”

Blinking furiously, Dresden stares at Buffy. “Marry me?”

“Pass. I already did the ‘brooding towering man with a dark past’ thing.” The statement catches up to her brain just as it leaves her lips. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Or you. I’m sure Karrin thinks that’s a great quality. Elisa?” Buffy turns almost pleadingly to the older woman.

Raising her banded hand as a buffer to the plea, Elisa just says, “I’m a quiet, conserved American. These grey hairs show that I’m smart enough to not get myself into anything I don’t have to.”

Switching his gaze between each person at the table, Percy Jackson tries in vain to keep up with the conversation and the speed at which compliments, friendly insults and in-jokes fly. Trying to shake off any hesitation, he jumps right into the middle of it with typical teenage bravado, “I once told Tantalus to go chase a cheeseburger.”

Once again, Percy’s words stop the conversation cold. It’s immediately restarted when Dresden coughs, snorts and tries to rein in the laughter that promises to erupt. He manages to hold it in for a few seconds before the tears start to well up. “Tantalus… a cheeseburger? No. You…” The giggles start, which break down any barriers he had hoped to put up. Dresden simply puts his forehead down on the table and laughs at the absurdity of the statement and the pride he feels for the young man he barely knows.

“Alright,” Elisa says with a smile on her face. “That’s one point for the new kid. We all know how the game goes.”

Potter grins and rubs at his forehead at an old scar. “I once killed a basilisk with a magical sword.”

Buffy leans back in her chair and shrugs. “That’s neat. I once shot an ancient demon with a rocket launcher.”

From his bowed position, all the table hears from Dresden is, “A cheeseburger!” before dissolving into another fit of giggles.

“Alright. Guess I have to teach you kids a thing or two.” Elisa rests her arms on the table and leans in. “So I was on a boat with my future husband, his daughter and their dog…”

#Iain writes #Dresden Files #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #Percy Jackson #Gargoyles #DC comics #crossover #long fic

11 notes · View notes