#wish there were more works on tumblr idk if it's just me but my tl is very stale here 😔

[mschismosa]

I'm so extremely ill about vanlock how do i find more, genuinely.

[pcrtifacts]

Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of?

I write stories. Strictly fanfic only; I don’t think I’m quite brave enough to try writing my own stuff. I’m trying to learn how to draw, but I’m a bit too much of a perfectionist so it’s slow going. I’m quite proud of my first CW Supergirl fanfic, make this place your home. I didn’t think people would like it so much.

2. What fandom(s) do you create for?

I’ve only posted things for CW Supergirl, and it’s just the one story plus a oneshot series for Supercorptober. But I’ve tried my hand at a couple other fandoms, namely Assassin’s Creed and Marvel’s X-23. But those aren’t fully fleshed out, more like writing exercises.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it?

Supercorp. Not sure if it’s controversial? Doesn’t feel like it.

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon?

THEY ARE CANON IN MY HEART. Seriously though, they’re not explicitly canon on the TV series itself, but I know they were confirmed in the Batwoman comic by the writer.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you?

I know it’s controversial now, but the first fandom I really got obsessed with was Harry Potter. I grew up with those books, so since I was around 10, I guess? I’m not quite brave enough to get into fanfic writing for that fandom though, both because of the controversy and because the people over there can be kind of mean from what I’ve seen in comments. I’m sure it’s not everyone, but the Supercorp fandom has been so nice and I think I’m a bit spoiled.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date?

I haven’t written a lot, but maybe it’s the Spice Girls oneshot for my Supercorptober series? Or maybe the vigilante prompt for the same series, the one where Kara’s an office lunch thief. Idk.

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it?

I first started watching Supergirl when it first started, but I fell out of it after S2. Then I got back into it during the lockdowns in 2020, smack in the middle of the big rift, and that was that.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations?

Nope. No one in real life knows.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made?

I love it! I’ve received two pieces of fanworks, both from @thatonebirdwrites, who also tagged me in this game! I wish I could return the favor, but again, I’m not quite confident enough for that. Maybe in the future.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations?

I find that in canon stories, there’s a lot of handwaving over little details in a way that requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. Like in CW’s Supergirl, there’s a lot of vague science and plotholes that drive me crazy. I’m a scientist, so I like trying to infuse my work with realism, and I like making things make sense, if that makes sense lol. I think that goes for both character motivations and for things in the world I write. I usually end up with lots of background information that never makes into the story, but I feel like it makes the story stronger when I find the opportunity to weave it in. Tl;dr, I try to make the world and the characters feel real and grounded.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it?

In the same vein as the previous question, a few people have said they enjoy my worldbuilding and storytelling, so that’s lovely.

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!)

In the last 24 hours? I think it might be an older Supercorp art piece with Kara and Lena snuggled up together with a cat. It was reblogged by @fazedlight under #vintage supercorp, which is awesome because I wasn’t on tumblr at the time a lot of fan stuff was circulating.

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share)

Little fluff scene from make this place your home:

“Ahem.”

Kara’s eyes opened when Lena jerked away. Jess was standing in the doorway, an amused, uncomfortable smile on her face. “Miss Luthor, the Danvers are here.”

“Right.” Lena straightened up, discreetly wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. “We just need five minutes, then you can let them in.”

“Of course.”

Jess shut the door behind her, and Lena stood, clearing out the debris from lunch, and Kara started to help. “Are you upset that Jess saw us?”

Lena chuckled. “Not upset, no. A little embarrassed, maybe; kissing isn’t exactly a workplace activity, after all.”

Kara’s brow furrowed “Should we not do it here, then?” she asked, trying to get a firm grasp on what things were and were not allowed in terms of physical affection. For all that humans enjoyed it, it seemed there were a lot of rules surrounding what was and wasn’t appropriate in different places.

“No, no.” Lena smiled. “It’s fine. Besides, I think Jess will knock from now on.”

“Okay.”

Excerpt from an in-progress medieval omegaverse Supercorp AU:

“Might I cut in for the next dance?”

Lena turned. The clumsy blonde alpha from Krypton was standing there, a hopeful smile on her face. Edge turned as well, chest puffing up at the younger alpha as he exuded dominating pheromones. The Kryptonian straightened but remained perfectly civil. The music had ended, and Lena gladly took the opportunity to step away from the scowling Morgan Edge. “Certainly, my lord.” She cut her eyes back to Edge. “Duke Edge.”

Ignoring his grunted reply, she let the Kryptonian alpha take her hand, and oh, that felt nice. Lena’s hand just fit into the alpha’s warm, not-at-all-clammy one. Lena’s brow furrowed. That, combined with the blonde’s fairly pretty features and her refreshing scent, had Lena’s omega perking its head up.

It was annoying.

She allowed the Kryptonian to lead her back to the dance floor as the musicians started. “Lord Zor-El, is it?”

“Kara, please.” The alpha – Kara – settled her hand on her waist, leading them into an easy waltz. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady Luthor.”

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several)

Yes! I’ve just caught up on the Shared Moments series by @thatonebirdwrites! It’s a Korrasami rewrite of The Legend of Korra, and the worldbuilding and lore is absolutely world-class; the changes they made to canon are so imaginative and so well thought out. It’s in progress, and I can’t wait to read more.

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style?

I try, but I’m not very good at doing it consistently. It’s hypocritical, I know, considering how much I appreciate every comment I receive. But I’m trying to do better.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all?

I only have one fic that’s currently being posted, but I’ve got another Supercorp fic in the works (see sneak peek above). I have other ideas waiting, but those are probably the main ones. I’m definitely finishing make this place your home, and I do hope to finish my other ideas. There just never seems to be enough time.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?

I haven’t finished any! Not unless Supercorptober counts, and I finished that in the requisite month, by some kind of miracle. Make this place your home has been going for over a year and I really hope to have it done before it reaches two.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published!

I’m gonna pass on this one, not sure I understand how to answer :/

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it?

I guess not? I find it hard to read fanfics if I don’t know the background, let alone write for it.

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers

Not sure I have any followers lol. I think one of my favorite fics is The Science Guild by dreiser, which is one of the inspirations I had for a more science-y Kara. It went dormant for a few years but it miraculously updated a couple of weeks ago. But I also want to recommend Confession by TheBirdWrites, which is an absolutely fantastic. I’m still catching up on the sequel fic, Unraveling Realities, and it’s still ongoing, but it’s so good.

I know it’s not great to be a dead end for a tag game, but I don’t really have any mutuals because I’m too shy to follow people, let alone tag them. I did have fun answering this though :)

[disconnected-dragon]

So I watched Eternals. Finally got around to typing my thoughts up.

The instant I saw Ikaris I thought "oh, knockoff Homelander from The Boys!" Because they can both fly and shoot lasers out of their eyes and have super strength and my untreated ADHD is weird about connections like that.....so when he turned out to actually be knockoff Homelander from The Boys, I was not shocked in the slightest. Go fly into the sun you bizarro creep.

Ezra Miller was good. Liked him. His costumes were mmm gender perfection. I didn't like how he basically made Jonestown over 20 generations and then just abandoned those people, leaving them with no survival skills or knowledge of the outside world at all, so they were probably picked off by wild animals or hunger or thirst. But I'm probably just thinking too hard abt this. Though I do wish tumblr would stop filling the tag with him a bit. I wanna talk about other characters, like--

Sprite wasn't robbed, they were mugged in broad daylight on a crowded intersection. They were a prime they/them transmasculine icon and they just make them evil and she/her them? And then try to be all like "ohhh I just wanna grow up" because "ahahaha, Peter Pan!" after comparing them to Tinker Bell, breaking the fucking metaphor BEFORE THEY EVEN MADE IT EXPLICIT?! And shoehorn this creepy age gap love relationship with Ikaris in when they're clearly sapphic coded-- I mean what else could could expect from Marvel, but still! C'mon! I can't have one nice thing in a movie unless it's named Dune and directed by Denis Villenuve, can't I?

Sirci was ok. I still don't know how to spell her name tho. It was nice to see an Asian American actress leading the movie, but-- tbh she was kinda bland. Her pushed romance with Ikaris sort of irked me, and she didn't seem to really be defined beyond her romances? Like she had Kit Harrington or knockoff Homelander from The Boys and she killed a god somewhere in between with her poorly defined powers. She fucking killed a god and I can't say anything about her. Great. Love that journey for us.

Mekkari my beloved. My HOH beloved. She's such a massive dork, with her collection of antiques and amulents and so many cute fangirl shit I love her. I wish we'd seen how she got that Jade Tablet instead of Ikaris and Sirci time. (Her relationship with Druig actually had more chemistry then Sirci/Ikaris but that's besides the point....) Also, she wasn't seen as a burden or lesser then because she was deaf, and the others signing to her-- ok this might be me misremembering, since I did watch this movie a few days ago, but I think the characters also made an effort to look her in the face and make eye contact with her. IDK I thought that was nice.

I like how Thena and Gilga's relationship wasn't explicitly romantic love. There were some undertones of romance, but it could be read as queerplatonic or parental. Gliga took care of Thena because he loved her like a friend, and she loved him like a friend. And then that platonic love was what motivated Thena to retake her mind and slay the Deviant. I like that. That was really cool. Speaking of the Deviant--

I wish we'd seen more of it. Why'd it get like that? Who made it like that? Was it the Red Guy God playing like 4D chess to test his Eternals, was it because humans' thinky energy had gotten so strong it warped it? Why did it look human, how was it able to mimic Mom Eternals'/Gilga's voice? Should I just read the zillionth run of comics? What's the point here?

Overall, it was a ehhhhh Marvel movie. I liked the characters, but it was sort of-- rushed? I think it would've worked better as a miniseries instead of a two hour movie, since it was trying to juggle all these things at once. The director seems like a nice lady, but she just tried to do a bit too much at one time I think.

The end credits scene with Harry Styles was a....trip tho.

So, just, TL;DR: Sprite deserved better. #LetSpriteUseThey/ThemPronouns.

[firelxdykatara]

Hey, I've been following you for while now, and I've noticed that you are really good at being critical of the things you love, and I just wanna ask, how? This may not make sense, but whenever I love something I loathe to look at the bad sides of it, and I don't know to overcome this. I suspect it's because of the people around me(online spaces,, mostly) who take criticism way too far, and if something has bad stuff in it, they automatically think you're a bad person, if that makes sense?

Idk, I just wanna to like something while acknowledging the bad things, or could've-been-improved things about it lol

Ok, first of all, I want to let you know that being vocally critical about the things you love is not necessary.

What I mean by that is, you do not have to justify why you love a thing, no matter how 'problematic' it is, with 'i know it's problematic, but' or any variant thereof. You can just say 'I like this thing' and leave it at that, or reblog fandom posts, or whatever. Shipping and other forms of fandom engagement are not activism, and there's really no need to self-flagellate over your love of something that has issues, because everything has issues (especially if you dig hard enough), and no one else is entitled to that energy from you. It takes work to dig deep into a thing, especially if it's to critically analyze it, and not everyone feels the need or desire to do that work, and that's ok.

That said, you also shouldn't pretend that reasonable criticisms of the thing you love don't exist. As an example, if you love Kataang, you don't have to say 'i know the EIP kiss was problematic, but I still love their relationship and ship them together'. (Although if you do want to talk about the issues that exist in their canon development, while still loving them as a couple, that is also valid!) However, you absolutely shouldn't say 'I think it's totally fine that Aang kissed Katara without her consent and actually that's a healthy and romantic moment in their relationship' or 'it's fine that Aang never apologized because kissing her is what made Katara realize she liked him'. (Both of which being actual takes I've seen in my fandom excursions.) You can simply choose to enjoy the good parts of their relationship, reblog fics and art and gifsets and metas/headcanons you like, etc. Some people simply don't have the energy or even desire to do deep dives into fandoms for any reason, and this kind of passive engagement with a fandom is perfectly ok.

As for me, personally, I think it's because I just... have lots of words, and thoughts, all the time, about everything I consume. There are often things I notice--either at the time, or in hindsight when I go back and reread or rewatch something (see: how much more I loathe Xander Harris every time I watch btvs)--that I would've done differently or I think should have been changed, or that may sour certain aspects of the work for me, even if I still enjoy the whole. I love atla, but I also see the flaws in the worldbuilding and writing, and will talk about those because it often coincides with my other interests--like zutara, and how I think the story could have played out if that were the endgame rather than what canon actually gave us.

For a bit of a more controversial example--I still love Harry Potter. I don't engage with it as a fandom nearly as much as I used to--I'll reblog the occasional post, but otherwise it simply isn't an active interest of mine. But I know that the books themselves are full of issues, and I'd never begrudge anyone their dislike/hatred of the series given the author's own bigotry. I also refuse to give JKR a single cent of my money, and as a queer woman I can only hope that some day, when the series finally enters the public domain, the old bat rolls in her grave at the popular reboot featuring trans girl!Harry and her adventures. I completely understand why a lot of the flaws in the books are looked at much more critically now than they used to be, given recent revelations about the author's own beliefs--but the books are still important to me, were a formative influence on my life, and I can't hear so much as a single bar of Hedwig's Theme without wanting to burst into tears.

So, at the end of the day (i guess this would be the TL;DR:) your blog is your own space and it is for whatever thoughts you choose to put out into the blogosphere, whatever those may be. If focusing on the bad parts of something you love is distressing to you, then don't! As long as you know they are there (and don't begrudge other people who may feel differently or more strongly about those flaws than you), that's all that can really be expected--and, again, no one has the right to demand critical energy from you. Tumblr blogs are not hubs of social activism, and everyone has the right to decide what content they wish to create, spread, and consume. People may not want to follow you if you post a lot about something they think is deeply flawed without touching on those flaws, and that is their right, just as it's your right to post whatever you like on your blog. If someone is going to think you're a bad person based on what you do or don't say about fictional people and worlds on your blog, then that probably isn't someone you wanted following you or engaging with your content in the first place.

I kind of rambled a bit, I hope that I answered your question and you find this helpful!

[yamagucji]

a series of thank you’s i’ve been meaning to give for a while now. please note i couldn’t get everyone bc im smol brained and im forgetful :(( also its vedy long so i added a readmore link but if it’s okay then i can remove it!

i would’ve preferred to go to your inboxes/dm’s but im scared t🤢umblrs going to glitch on me if i do it again a ha ha

@doublemoons

i remember you sent in my first ever request and i was SO happy like🥺 my account had no visibility on week 1 but then you somehow found my blog and since then you’ve been supporting me. i love the aesthetic of your blog and i always look forward to your rb’s because they so cute and insightful !! ik we haven’t talked much but i definitely perceive u as a gentle person here’s 1k hearts for you and you only <3

@insanityqueen

please i was *intense squealing* and *happy noises* when you said you wanted to be mutuals :’) im definitely uhhh way too immature for u but you still stick with all the caps and !!! i send you😭 you’re such an interesting, talented person. day 1 you got me HOOKED with your art and im gonna say this again,, i have never seen skin look soo s o f t painted. im really grateful for your company and all your cats and the hinata art you made me🥺 i am not still thirsting over it i swear and then you sent me pieces of your writing and i def expected hc’s but then BOOM🧍‍♀️ im so amazed by your writing. also you are vv pretty i hope you know that

@zephyrria

matching heart memes matching heart memes😾 i don’t talk to you as much but our main form of communication is literally exchanging heart memes w/o a word,,, if that isn’t true love idk what is :// anyway i love our little convos so much it always brightens my day! and omg lets not forget when you made me a drabble back😳 like wha- HUH !! i was so touched i rlly went boom boom woosh bc no ones ever written me one back and i!! that yamaguchi gives me so much comfort. you give me sm comfort, thank you bub <3

@beanst0ck

hehe my first tumblr crush😼 as soon as i deactivated my reading account to my a writing blog i was like “ok bean is on my top to-follow list” like i thought you were so cool and i was vv shy to interact with you🥺 and YOU STILL ARE COOL!! your works are really amazing and i am vv much still in love w my matchup w suga :’)

@killuababie

HHHH GRR BORK BORK I LUB U B NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BHH💓✨ bro,,,, when we switched over to insta it was WILD like— our sense of humor? matched. immaculate. please i love seeing all the memes u send me it makes my day so much like u don’t understand😭 and our convos really go chaos sometimes gkfjdj i love it. u need to pull up and play among us w me sometime 😡

@bewwybun

m-my first spouse🥺 even tho it was a joke the first time and i said sike fkdjdjdj but you still accepted my dino chimken nuggie ring hehe <3 bub your are literally the CUTEST HHHHH LIKE,,, cuteness overload !!! i love talking to you sm and our little exchange of heart memes make the butterflies in my tummy go ✨

@mei-writes

may🥺 imy bub i hope you’re doing well and taking good care of yourself. still very grateful for that time you pulled through to check which of my links weren’t working. and there’s a LOT. like the fact that you took time out of your day for me still baffles me. anyway im lomve you ik we don’t talk as much but you’re still a valued moot to me. im offering u free headpats hehe

@kozsma

hi maria👉👈 you’re so wonderful and rlly amazing w your smaus. absolutely smitten over our chaotic conversations fkfjd we haven’t talked in a while but if you see this just know that i’m here for you <3 take some self care okay? hope you’re doing good bub

@tsukkeisimp

dalia, you wondering being💞 please what did i do to deserve your love >;( we don’t talk much but we have exchanged heart memes before and you’re always out here supporting me whenever you can and like!! tysm bub. i hope you’re feeling better from the last time we interacted, and please do take good care of yourself!

@satorispup

can’t believe you made a reputation of having a piss kink. what power. what energy >>> anyway it’s fun seeing your chaotic energy on my feed/tl. sometimes i won’t even look at the user and say yeah💔 that’s hero alright gkfjdj also you’re so cute what the heck😡😡

@tobiokvgs

[ insert 100 hearts ] this for u bub. im still going crazy over your tsukki lipbalm piece like i was so FLUSTERED you really did that huh😭 you’re so nice and sweet, ty for giving me headbonks as well im really glad to get them😌 hope you have an amazing day bub, and take care!!

@bunnyuuji

cutecutecutest bean ever🥺 you have such wonderful works and im truly in love with your writing😌 also you’re so SWEET WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE U GKFJDJ literally you weren’t obligated to stop by my ask and check in but u did >:(

@yanderepunkin

hehe ik we haven’t interacted in such a long time but im including you!! bc i appreciate you!! i know you’ve supported me a lot especially when i just started this blog and im really thankful for it. also uhhh im still not over accidentally turning off anon when i was- yeah😿 i wish you all the love in the world, and please do take gentle care of yourself 💓

@ahkaahshi

frannn👁👁🤲 yes im gonna start with how big brained you are. your passion for textiles and improving the environment is vv cool to me. and then there’s the fact you write these hq characters so well. yes i am absolutely still living for your character analysis. i am thriving off of them!! here’s me manifesting kita and/or sakusa to show up in your dreams hehe

@sachirou-senpai

i hope you dont mind me sending u stuff every now and then! anyway im in awe of your writing and art skills. you brought a realistic yamaguchi and i ascended😳 i genuinely think you’re such a cool person but also please take breaks!! ik it’s such an overused phrase but i genuinely mean it. i care u <3

@kenmakodzu

you’re so sweet and you do really be sending me back some heart memes😳 i go BOOM BOOM yaya that’s more to my collection;) also you and your hq anon interactions go WILD omg it really does make my day more interesting whenever i see them😂 also i do be seeing some of ur chaotic energy on my dash and i am HERE for it

@tsukkisbean

hemlo clara🥺 d-do you remember me gkdjshsjs i think its been a while since we interacted. you’re so sweet and AHH lmao did u know we were in a poly with wiss😔💔 yeah❤️ n e way i hope you’ve been alright these past few weeks, and if not, please get some break!

@atsunflower

miya twin supremacy😡 can’t believe you made me swerve over to osamu’s lane because of your amazing writing. how could you. the mf audacity. i rlly do fell in love with that piece do so THAMK U and that also goes for the support you’ve given me💗

@lespaghetti

ozzy👁👁🤝 ngl our conversations have been top tier im glad i got to uhmm,,, get some of these *thoughts* out of my head. you’re such a sweet little bean!!! that art/sketch you did with the purple (?) themed uniforms was really cute. im glad to have u as my moot and *cough* my vip reader *cough*

@sleepykarabou

our heart meme streak was strong until school happened😔 but i really enjoy them tho!! it’s very calming talking to you (fun, but also vv calming idk that’s how i feel) loving the brainrots we give each other of our favs from time to time :’) also omg OSRRY im barely active in the server please spare me😿 im lomve u

@nerdybreadcollaborative

gee!! AHHHH KGFJJD GRRR u sweet bean oh my goodness. where do i start- ??? i’ve already gushed so much abt your writing but here we go again; i love your writing so much and your attention to the little details is so great. they flow so well and i hope u get more visibility bc it’s what u deserve!! also please take care of yourself and don’t work too much u nerdy bean

@nishinoya-is-baby

ely my plant kinnie, my spouse (?) and also the blog that i dump my h word thots on😭❤️ ahhh im lomve you, you’re amazing. from your writing, to your makeup skills, and your room, the talent really ✨jumped out✨thank you for supporting me so much, i genuinely appreciate it. i hope we can stay moots despite me being busy gkfjdj anyway take care bbie don’t work too much okay?

@art0saurus

TATE😤 the amount of hq brainrot you’ve fed me is astronomical. idk how you keep coming up with such good ideas but im all for them!! i love your writing so much and the plots are so *chefs kiss* (yes im still gushing over mermaid!bokuto). thank you so much for sending some bits of positivity into my life, im really grateful for it :’)

@dorkyhaikyu

EL!😼 you sweet bean. wish i could bombard ur asks but school is saying no </3 you’re such a sweet mutual and your writing is absolutely amazing. still kinda hurt over that angst u made💔 but anyway i loved it sm. also please wear safer shoes next time on big events so u dont get any more BLISTERS kgjdjdh jkjk

@chickenwingspiker

nashnashnash🥺👉👈 wth you’re so cute and even cuter with the little emoticons u put in my asks. i really appreciate you taking time out of your day to check in on me. i think your works are really heckin cool, im still very into that sock agenda one and the akaashi fic AHH i love them sm. i hope that u have better experiences with online learning and i really wish you all the best on ur art journey <3

@miyastrology

did u forget abt our walk to the strawberry field😿 jkjk heyyy atlas!! im lomve your theme and your writing. i have the urge to say you’re as sweet as strawberry bc im unoriginal like that💔 let’s just pretend i put something kute :’( n e way u are vv cute, make sure to take care of yourself ok!!

@derpeedoo

your rb’s and comments on ppl works... i just... my heart is full. im complete. i go absolute doki doki for you. you’re such a genuine person and you give people so much love❤️ here’s an unlimited supply of my love to you bc you deserve it. ty for all the cute questions btw🥺

🕊 anon - still wondering if ur one of my already-moots or not😳 but anyway dove anon i have a lot to say,,, like how ?? do u go “ok let’s check in on aaron today hehe” like am i interesting??😭 i feel kinda bad ngl you really don’t have to talk to me. but nevertheless im really appreciate of all the support you’ve given me. i genuinely think you’re a cool person and you do all these fun stuff like photography which is amazing. here’s the biggest THANK YOU i could ever give <3 ps. your art is CUTE and AMAZING @bee-kins

@simping-for-tendou

do i??? spam your feed??😭 you’re always liking my posts and i feel so sorry for spamming but also vv appreciate of all the interaction i’ve had with you!! im very glad i got to ask you qotd and stuff because i got to know that you like plants as well!! thank you for sharing plant facts with me, it really made my day. i genuinely think you’re such an awesome and big brained person for knowing all those facts🥺👉👈

@wissaaltje

ngl i was very intimated by you bc of all your angst and really good works which is probably why i never reached out to you sooner😿 ur my uhhh third spouse <3 but anyway your CHAOTIC ENERGY is thru the roof i love that sm and your writing is so mf beautiful i wish more people got to see it😡 i will gib you flower soup and muddy pie to make you feel better ;) jkjk but you’re very amazing and i hope you know that!

@smolbludandelions

hehe you’re in here😼 thank you ???? for supporting me even tho you’re not obligated??? like wh- i- bub🥺🤲 you have all my heart and i rlly rlyy want to stop by your inbox and give you heart memes but me why >;( i hope you have the most amazing day(s) of your life because you deserve it SO much.

@tadashi-simp

FINALLY someone i can simp over yamaguchi with😭 ik we haven’t talked much but AH i love the conversations we’ve had so far and all that insight you gave me about the new wanda film (truly a blessing bc i was so genuinely confused gkfjdj).

@oikaw-ugh

just. JOLLIBEE. can’t believe one of our first interactions was u sending me chain mail smfh i cannot believe you😭 anyway po i appreciate you so much na kaka tawa ako sa mga msgs mo and all the good vibes u radiate. mag bisaya unta ko nimi pero baka mag nosebleed ako😿 im losing my native languages it’s not even funny anymore but when i got to talk to u in my mother tongue, i felt a bit more at home. thank you bub <3

@makemealive

hihi👉👈 idrk what we first talked about, i think it was spending vacation in the galapagos islands??😭 riding turtles??? what a great way to start our friendship :’) i rlly think you’re cool and i just,,,, admire u from afar- yeah. sorry this message is too chaotic but anyway u might not have a green thumb but look at you growing potatoes accidentally😌 anyway i think you’re cool i just haven’t said it before because im s Hy

@lostsealscreams

seal, bub, i genuinely care about you. you’re such a sweet person. i know we haven’t interacted much but im looking forward to more conversations with you!! please find little fun things to do... maybe do some self appropriation if you can, bc you deserve it. maybe even treat yourself... or any self care tasks that make you feel better. i care about you a lot, im just an ask/dm away if you wanna talk about anything at all💕💞✨

@hqgardenia - jkjk this is my spam account idk why i put this here but here probably bc im dumb as fuck

[you-deserve-to-love-yourself]

hey how have you been?

weird question but, i hope its ok to ask advice on this one, if not thats totally ok

i was wondering if you know how to,, make friends? i joined so many chats and followed so many people but all i do is comment on their posts or just chat in the group chat. it doesnt get to the point where i pm them

while i do have acquintances in those chats that i recognise and talk to A Lot i just,,, feel like its not the same as a maybe close friendship? i dont know

i even made a friend application and talked to a lot of people but a weird situation happened where a lot of them left me on read randomly(which is ok im not mad at that) and i thought id text them later but then i didnt... so now im just occasionally dming 1 person but idk.

i dont know where im going with this but basically, i dont know how to make friends,, or how to get to the friend stage,, any tips? thank you

(please tag as frog emoji if ok)

Yeah it’s totally ok to ask for advice! 

Oof,, making friends. I’ll admit that it doesn’t come to me easily either, and I especially struggled with making and keeping my friends a ton when I was younger. I hope talking about my own personal experience might help.

For me personally, when I think about who I consider a friend now, a lot of my online friends, or even my friends “from” school, are people that I talk to in Discord servers or group chats but don’t really dm. And surprisingly? I’m okay with that. I used to be at a point where I craved close friendships to the point where I was accepting treatment that wasn’t okay, but I’m not really there anymore.

And as for the people I do text or DM? Now that I think of it, all of them come from previous hobbies or interests that I don’t really do anymore.

A lot of the times, the reason I started out dming or texting people was for working on something, and not necessarily chatting. I have a friend from when I used to do activism, and we started texting to get work done. I worked with a ton of people, but I happened to click with her.

I think of that example as an “accidental” friendship, where I wasn’t really trying to get to know her, but we liked each other and became friends.

A lot of the friends I made actually came from a period in my life where I decided that I was done with my obsession with making friends, and I was going to spend some time completely alone. I talked about it here; I’d sit in an empty classroom reading during lunch and didn’t really talk to people.

Somehow, I acquired two friends I really liked during that time. From class, no less. I think part of it came from letting go of my expectations of what a friendship was supposed to look like, and being okay with being alone. One of those friends I made in a hard class where we exchanged numbers just to help each other with homework. The other I sat next to in a chiller class because no one was sitting at her table. We started chatting and I thought she was cool. I don’t really talk to either of them anymore, but I think that’s an example of how sometimes you can stumble across cool people after you stop looking for them.

I was in some online communities though, and I did tend to reach out to people a lot. Not necessarily because I wanted to be close to them, but usually because I thought they were cool or I just wanted to tell them something. Seriously, I started speaking to one of my online friends when he was asking about restaurants in my area and I didn’t feel like announcing my location in a big server. Lol.

And the thing is? The ratio of people I clicked with versus people I talked to was pretty low. If I reached out to, say, 100 people (it was less don’t worry lol), I became friends with fifteen and I’m still speaking to three.

And I’m okay with that! Since at that time, I’d “given up” on my desire for close friendships, I talked with those people just because I wanted to. And even with the people I haven’t spoken to in months, I genuinely enjoyed talking to them and I’m happy we started chatting.

I’ve also reconnected a group of online friends I first met when I was very young. I’m talking fifth grade, sixth grade age. I don’t DM any of them, but I consider it a pretty close knit group and I’m happy just talking to them through a Discord server.

Tl;dr: I personally used to have an unhealthy obsession with an idea of what I thought friendship was. In my personal experience, letting go of my need for friendship was not only freeing, but actually helped me in my interactions with others.

Of course, everyone’s different. This is my background as one neurodivergent girl who’s had specific experiences.

My question is, are you enjoying the chats you’re in? Please remember to have fun, okay? If you joined your chats or followed people with like, a specific goal in mind, you might get disappointed. But if you genuinely like interacting with them through Tumblr and through other communities, maybe that’s the type of friendship that’ll bring you the most happiness in that specific case.

When I was in fifth or sixth grade, my mom bought me a book called How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls, by Dale Carnegie’s daughter Donna. Obviously it’s targeted to a specific demographic, but I haven’t read the original and it might be a lot less accessible.

I thought it would “help” me make friends. It didn’t really; It took me many more years before I was happy with my social circle. But what it did do was give me specific stories and help me rework some of my beliefs around what friendship was supposed to be and how they start. It taught me super important things about how to admit mistakes and communicate with people. And honestly? Even though I didn’t really apply what I read until many years later, I think that information stuck around in my mind and contributed to where I am today.

Maybe it’ll be helpful to you, maybe it won’t. But I’d consider checking it out!

I hope some of this was helpful to you and I’m wishing you all the best! 💚

[valkyrieskwad]

would love to see you do the 2019 fic writing roundup!!

Here ya go (this is longer than i thought it would be lmfao):

2019 Writing Round-up

AO3 word count: 278,552 words

where there’s desire, there’s gonna be a flame (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena’s a criminal and Kara loses every argument she tries to have.

um, this is the second fic i started for supergirl, but the first one i finished. i wrote this because basically my heart was not into crash and i wanted to do something quick and funny. i finished this in like four hours and was really happy with it. 

we’re burning down the bridges this time (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the au where Lena’s an investigative journalist that’s never managed to land a front page story, Kara’s a hotshot National Geographic photographer, and they make a really good team.

this is the third fic i started and second one i finished for supergirl, and i fucking struggled with this one. it wasn’t even that i didn’t like the fic, i was still just not wanting to write crash and then i lost a story i enjoyed writing and so i wrote this but i was really over writing but this kinda pulled me out of the slump. i love this story.

crash through the surface (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the fic where Lena gets involved with something dangerous, Kara’s in over her head with everything, and neither one of them know how to deal with their feelings for each other.

haha i have too much to say about this fic. it’s the first big project i’d taken on in more than three years and i felt like i did a lot of things wrong in the beginning so the end was me cleaning it up and it made it way harder to write than it should have been, so i have a bad relationship with this fic. but i don’t think it’s that bad, just, akdlfkjfhfdas.

when you feel my heat, look into my eyes (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena makes sex toys, and Kara helps her test them out.

this is the buttplug fic and my only claim to fame. i love this fic.

i’ll be your light, your match, your burning sun (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

Lena only joins the uni’s ultimate frisbee team because Sam keeps talking her ear off about needing more players. But then she meets the captain, Kara Danvers, and suddenly her summer gets a lot more interesting.

okay! frisbee fic! i fucking loved writing this. i think i struggled a little with the last bit bec i wanted to show like a natural progression to young love, and i’m not super happy with some parts, but i love this fic so much it’s my baby it’s made me friends it’s - it was fun, idk. i really appreciated the fandom taking a chance on frisbee, tbh. it’s a great sport.

your love is bright as ever (even in the shadows) (M, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena cries a lot, loses Kara, gets her back, and starts learning how to be okay again. Especially that last bit. ♥

i’d already started writing the cave fic when i posted this, but i stopped to write this bec the reveal kinda put me in a weird mood and i needed to write about it. i really wanted to work on the cave fic, though, so ugh. this could have been better and there are places i wish i could add to it and i just kinda wrapped it up instead of drawing it out, but. i like it. it also helped me get out my reveal feelings, so i love it for what it did and what it is.

sink into you like water (pray you won’t pull me under) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

a [Fake Dating AU] in which Kara rescues Lena from an underwater cave, it turns into one of the biggest media frenzies of the year, and they somehow get branded America’s Sweetest Couple by the public. Except, they’re not actually a couple, they’re divorced.

um, there’s a lot to say about this. i got the idea for this one day out of nowhere and started toying with it. then i went hiking in colorado and in the middle of dying at the top of the mountain i was like holy fuck this is what i wanna write. so i wrote a bunch of it, then i didn’t post it bec i was like who the fuck wants to read a cave fic. then, i dont remember why but i posted some of it on tumblr and some people were like post it, so i did. i love this fic with my whole heart. there’s like, two places i wish i did something diff, but as a whole i’m happy this exists in the form it does and that it came from me.

we could slow dance to rock music, kiss while we do it (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

College AU, where Lena’s a baby goth with nipple piercings, Kara’s her roommate and completely smitten, and they get matching tattoos somewhere along the way.

um, i don’t know what to say about this. it was super fun and came from multiple tumblr prompts and i love being collaborative and playing off of other peoples’ ideas. i also think the second chapter is probably some of the best smut i’ve written tbh.

life’s a drink and love’s a drug (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

It’s not the first time Kara’s worn the scarf outside the bedroom. She’s been pretty obsessed with it ever since it moved from being a simple part of Lena’s wardrobe to a part of their sex life.

this was a tumblr prompt i made longer for someone. had a ton of fun writing it.

and we’ll start a fire, and we’ll shut it down (’til the love runs out) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

MORE FRISBEE.

it feels like i’ll never get around to writing this, but it’ll happen.

staring in the blackness at some distant star (M, Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

some college-aged rojascorp

this kinda started as a joke and then i realized i’m absolutely in love with this ship and i’m going to keep writing it even if no one wants it because it makes me happy.

time’s supposed to heal you (but i ain’t done much healing) (E, Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor)

the one where Lena loses herself in a small town, and finds Kara Danvers in the process.

um, this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written in my life. i have so many feelings about it, but i’ll save them for a giant tl;dr post i’ll make when it’s finally finished.

a falling star fell from your heart (and landed in my eyes) (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor/Andrea Rojas)

post college hiking au, where Lena’s hopeless, Andrea is a mess, and Kara’s just along for any ride.

this is also one of my favorite things i’ve written, i love this so much i love andrea i love lena i love kara i love them to gether. i love hiking. i will finish this soon.

reflecting in your eyes, like an endless summer (E, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor)

the vampire au.

haha, i don’t know what to say about this. i love this story and have some super elaborate shit planned and im being shameless about it bec i’ve wanted to write a vamp story since the beginning of time and have always been like im gonna get shit for it bec everyone is over vampires. but like, i’ve been like fuck it and i’m loving it.

I WROTE SO FUCKING MUCH THIS YEAR ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY’VE READ IT ALL YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY MY FUCKING FAV. THANK YOU.

[coepiteamare]

2020 in fic

2020 was terrible year but an okay year of fic considering i didn’t really write till october. 

STATS: fics: 1 fic; i wrote drabbles because i can’t write long fics. but i wrote 8 drabbles? female pov: 8 male pov: 1 (i thought i had more but nope, they’re all wips) both pov: 0 (i haven’t written anything long to justify both pov) total word count: (lol, i’ll update this later but i know it’s absolute shite) OVERALL: Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? both! i started this blog in january, wrote two things, then forgot about it because life kind of took over. because i didn’t write for so long, i didn’t intend on coming back, but i realized that i had a couple wips for the dictionary of lovers that i never uploaded so i came back sometime in october? (i published one and then kind of tucked away the rest because i wasn’t sure what i quite wanted to do with tdol)

i started off this year intending to write and finish tdol (26 drabbles), but that didn’t end up happening, so less. but when i stopped, i also didn’t think i would ever come back to posting, yet here i am! and i’ve posted drabbles and have a bunch in the wip folders, so more! tl;dr: less than i thought but also more than i thought. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? i don’t write cross fandoms anymore (though that was my start in ff, my peak poetry days), but i never thought i would write 2nd pov/memberxreader because i started off writing memberxmember fics for bangtan, so i suppose that!  Did you take any writing risks this year? most definitely. i never thought i would write 2nd person pov, but here i am. and i didn’t think i’d write memberxreader, but here i am! (a bundle of surprises i am) 2nd person pov is actually a lot harder for me to write, but i’m getting better at it. 

pens and paperwork actually has a lot of dialogue and less purple prose: i think it’s the one piece i wrote that was less emotion based and more plot, which is very out of character for me. it’s also a little (a lot) different than what i normally write, so that was also a risk, but i enjoyed writing that one so much: it’s definitely one of my favourite pieces and i want to flesh out that universe a little more. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? write! longer! fics! i want to rewrite “the dictionary of lovers” and put it together into a long fic. i have a multiverse fic that i’ve been planning out, and i want to finish 9,719km and make it at least 10K: i want to practice fleshing out characters and worlds. my goal in general is just to write a long fic (9,719km, i’m looking at you). and also return to writing memberxmember fics too (i have a namgi fic in the works and there are def taekook ideas). get better at writing openings and closing and titling fics. god, i suck at titles. 

also, i would very much like to publish most of my wips. so, future violet, here’s to hoping you do that.  What were last year's goals? this is my first year, but last year, my goal was to just start a writing tumblr and write! and i’ve managed to do that! so yay  🎉  BEST AND WORST: My best story of this year: nine thousand, seven hundred nineteen kilometers. i love it to bits and pieces and i had it in my drafts for a while? because i wanted to publish it as a full fic but who knows when that will be, so i published it anyways. also this part was so much better than the other parts, so no regrets, i suppose. i think it is my favourite piece i’ve written, along with pens and paperwork, because it’s so different from what i’m used to writing? (both are also yoongi fics, funny enough) i definitely think it’s less purple prose (though 9,719km def has elements of that still; can’t get it out of my system) so hs me would not have approved, but i love it to smithereens. i try to not read any of my fics after posting them though because i’m incapable of letting it be: i have to perform autopsies on it, pick at the bad parts, cut open the good ones for flaws, until it’s virtually unrecognizable and ruined, so i can’t bring myself to reread it, but as of now, from what i remember, i think it’s my best story.  My most popular story of this year: love is a losing game (we played anyways): i’m so flattered and in awe that people actually liked this story because it was so hard for me to write. it’s only 1k and it took me a good week before i could publish it because i kept tripping over the language. and i felt (still feel) like pre-dialogue and post-dialogue are two different stories, which was extremely frustrating for me. i think i can write dialogue (this story is a different beast, just because of the nature of the beginning) but it’s really hard for me to combine poetry/prose with dialogue. i feel like it throws it off but the only other way to write it would be in a short bit compilation (i’ll write fics like that again someday) and i didn’t feel like it would work for lialg. (funny story: it was actually a royalty!namjoon fic where he wants to give her the world but it turns out she was a spy and she essentially burns his kingdom to the ground) i’m honestly not too happy about how it turned out but i’m still glad people enjoyed it!  Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: none! i really didn’t expect to have an audience, so people stopping and reading my fics? wild. Most fun story to write: pens and paperwork. that drabble was so much fun to write and i loved the characters. also gave me the least amount of headaches, probably because it kind of wrote itself once i started. i really do want to expand on that universe, just because i want to revisit it and explore 007′s background (maybe write about 005 and 006 as a spin off though whether i want to make it taexreader or taexjimin is to be determined) and yoongi’s journey in the MI6/NIS as well!

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: probably pens and paperwork? i’ve always known that yoongi was a dynamic and versatile person but that fic really did it for me. i can totally see him being this sarcastic, dry person, but also someone with a lot of love and care for others, like he does with 007 by bringing her alc when she’s in pain and generally trying to distract her as she’s getting stitches. someone who’s as loud as they are quiet. i definitely want to write more soft yoongi though. 

Hardest story to write: i am your ocean (your little mermaid). hands down. i don’t know if tae is just really hard to write (for me) or if that fic was a monster of it’s own, but i spent two+ weeks working on it. it went through so many storyline revisions and changes and then even after i had a decent idea of the final plot, it took me another week to write fucking 1.4k. absolutely awful. do i like it? i don’t even know. but i don’t like hoarding fics, so it’s out there for the word to pick at, to dissect it’s anatomy, to taxidermy it.  Biggest disappointment: the movietheaterworker!oc x marvelnerd!jk fic that i never published. i don’t know if it’s just bad or it’s just not what i wanted but i haven’t touched it since october (and idk if i want to look at it) so that says something. 

in terms of something i published, probably “heart” from tdol. i re-read it recently and it just felt really bleh to me? i should have more attachment to it considering it’s my first drabble on this account but nope. some parts of it are cute but it’s so clunky. i don’t like it.  Biggest surprise: pens and paperwork or monsters under the bed. pens and paperwork because of how much i loved it/how fast it wrote itself and how much i liked it afterwards, even though it’s written in a much different style than i normally write? monsters under the bed because it was written with no direction and honestly feels like a fever dream (though i did have a backstory to jk’s character and his relationship with oc), yet it still was well liked! i kind of posted it as the start to the “things you said” drabble collection and was like here goes nothing, but people seemed to really enjoy it!! which was very surprising. and my butterfly, noor, called me the bob ross of fanfiction (that still cracks me up) so!  Most unintentionally telling story: hmmm...probably anything from tdol. i’ve been so fortunate to have such beautiful, healthy, intimate platonic relationships, but the one (two if we’re being generous, which we most def are if counting it) romantic relationship i’ve had was quite awful and extremely toxic. (ask me about it if you want to: i like to rant about it from time to time) so tdol is a creation of wishful thinking, of what i think a healthy relationship should look like, through the ups and downs, the highs and lows. because i don’t have experience with healthy romantic relationships, i def put a lot of my friendships and bits and pieces from those into tdol. and it’s not published yet, but there’s an unwritten piece from tdol where oc talks about how she doesn’t believe in love but jk very much is a hopeless romantic, and that’s me writing me into a fic so. 

HIGHLIGHTS + WRAP-UP: Favorite opening lines:

(god, i suck at opening lines)

tdol “perfect” + coming back home to you would always be one of the highlights of my day. whenever the sun shined for a little too long, a storm would hit, but this--coming home to and closing the day with you--was one of the few things in life that was completely and utterly mine to have, out of the reaches of whatever was out there that made sure the road was never too smooth. [note: this isn’t THE opening line but we’ll ignore that]

9,719km + paris is much quieter than the places you’re used to, but it’s not a bad thing.

Favorite closing lines: (i struggle so much with these) i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) + the enfilade of rain continues and pelts against the windowpane, against your balcony floor. 

monsters under the bed + but when he opens his eyes again, to the blaring 1:01AM of his clock, you’re no longer by his side. 

9,719km + p.s. did you miss me? + maybe he’s just as potent as a habit, just as hard to kill. 

Favorite lines in general: i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) + you let the words fall from your lips, dribble down your skin like water droplets, and dissipate in the ocean of your feelings. watch them dissolve into the seafoam of your being and sink down, down, down. + it feels a little like that now as you card your fingers through his sweaty locks, dyed red like ariel’s, bright red against the blue of both your feelings. 

love is a losing game (we played anyways) + he looks at you like you hold the secrets of the universe, even as he tears through the valley of your breasts with the claws of his ambitions and devotion. + (the summary line: he builds cathedrals in your name, whispers prayers into your skin, and you shatter the stained glass windows of his dreams.) 

9,719km + nothing has been able to keep him out: not the gallery treasury in newport beach with its earthquake proof alarm system, not the cartier vault in new york city with its impressive randomized laser grid, and certainly not the flimsy, fickle alarm system of your heartbeat. 

LIST OF COMPLETED STORIES: [note: does tdol count? i’ll put it here anyways. also i suck at titles] the dictionary of lovers: heart the dictionary of lovers: confirmation the dictionary of lovers: perfect love is a losing game (we played anyways) monsters under the bed pens and paperwork i’ll be your ocean (your little mermaid) nine thousand, seven hundred nineteen kilometers you feel like a holiday

WIP TEASERS: welcome to wonderland (we’re all mad here) (aliceinwonderland!au) summary: queen of hearts!jk x alice!reader

excerpt: be careful in the woods, they whisper. so many girls have gotten lost and made it out with just their bodies intact, bones rattling hollow and mind astray. the girls mumble about tea parties with madness, about croquet games with the heads of the executed, before they are wheeled off to hospitals, still talking to the wall. 

be careful in the woods, they warn. it preys on your fear and feeds on your sanity, if you linger too long. 

i know you (i’ve walked with you once upon a dream) (dreamwalkers!au) summary: oc works for the department of dreams: bureau of night terrors as a dreamwalker. jungkook has chronic nightmares.

excerpt: They tell lucid dreamers to look down at their hands, notice the garbled image to recognize they’re in a dream. Your brain backtracks to what it last remembers. A click of the seatbelt, Jimin’s soft “sleep tight,” the cool air inside the tank. Darkness. You grip the wand a little tighter. 

Dreamscapes are weird, you think as you conjure up an ironwood table and a cup of earl grey. The fabric of reality is so thin, so permeable and malleable with the right amount of knowledge. If you think really hard, slip a hand through that curtain, you can still feel the cold air lingering on your skin from the tank. You look down at your watch. 8:44. Eight hours and fourty four minutes left to wander through other people’s nightmares. 

if the world was ending (you’d come over, right?) (au where the world slowly comes to a halt and you find yourself calling your ex. inspired by “if the world was ending” by jp saxe and julia michaels) summary: ex!tae x female!reader

excerpt: The world starts to freeze over when you’re on the bus ride home. 

Pedestrians pause in the middle of the sidewalk; cars decelerate in the middle of accelerations. The chatter in the bus groans to a stop, like a radio after the plug has been pulled, as everyone slowly freezes. Your hair, which once fluttered in the breeze, gently falls back into place. 

The traffic light is red. 

You pull your earbuds out. It’s quiet. Too quiet. 

“Hello?” you whisper, shaking the arm of your neighbor. No response. The silence is loud, almost deafening.

“Hello?” you walk down the aisle to where your driver sits. His face is still. Annoyance clouds his eyes, chest puffed like he was about to take a deep breath. One he’ll never take again. 

You shuffle your feet back and trip on the stairs, back slamming against plexi glass and metal.

The light never turns green. 

untitled (mermaid!au)

excerpt: Jungkook loves the sea, but he thinks he might like you a little bit more. You, with the sea breeze in your hair and summer storm in your eyes. There’s something about the way you sparkle like the ocean top, sun skimming across skin, that makes him think you might be more than human, a trick of light, an optical illusion.

untitled (desert princess x pirate!jk au) summary:  i love you the way ocean clings to shore, the way the horizon wants the sea, but, darling, we were never meant to be

excerpt: you’re pretty sure the ocean is enchanted, bright blue waters glimmering with magic. nothing else could explain how jeon jungkook, notorious pirate and thief, owns eyes that twinkle like the night sky and a face that puts the sunset to shame, unless he managed to somehow steal those too. you wouldn’t put it past him. + they name hurricanes after girls, he tells you. a prayer for gentleness, a hope for small casualties. huh, you reply, whoever came up with that idea must never have been caught in the storm of a girl. 

IN CONCLUSION: 

wow, could i be any more conspicuous about which drabble i like the most? why do i use so many parenthesis? also, i suck at titles and opening and closing lines. but hey, i’m trying, and sometimes that’s all i can ask from myself. i wrote a lot less than i thought but also more than i thought, so cheers to that. maybe next year will be better, maybe it’ll be worse. who knows? hopefully it’ll read easier though.  p.s. if you’ve read this and if you’ve read anything i’ve written, thank you for reading. thank you for sticking through the calamity of my thoughts, through the hurricane of my mind. you have no idea how much it means. i hope i’m able to make your day a little better, a little brighter, a little light in this time of darkness.  p.p.s. i’ve made a few friends on tumblr. i won’t tag them because i don’t want to put them through this awful clusterfuck of words, but if any of you read this, hi. you’ve really shaped my tumblr experience and i’m so glad to have met you all.  noor (papillionsgf): my butterfly, i adore you. you were my first tumblr friend and you’ve been nothing but sweet to me. thank you for talking to me and thank you for our lovely conversations, for letting me squeal about tfua, for  i absolutely adore you.  hana (cutechims): the two of us are awkward potatoes, and i still need to rewatch batman begins, but thank you for always being so sweet, so kind. i love talking with you and reading everything you write. you make me smile when i see you on my dash, with every response you send. jlin (bratkook): i slid into your tumblr dms because you’re so talented and so awfully pretty. i absolutely enjoy our conversations about rich folxs and karens, and i really hope the pandemic comes to an end because i would love to meet you in person and teach you aerial! (also i will bake you lots of cookies) erin (yeojaa): hi lovely. i adore you to the moon and back and to be honest, you still intimidate me because i love your writing so much, but i wanted to say how much i adore you and how i love talking to you. i hope you’re taking care of yourself and staying warm and i hope to get to know you better in 2021!

notes: adapted from lj, where i started writing! i used to see this a bit on lj (or maybe it was the circle of writers i followed) but i figured i’d bring it over here because it’s a good reflection piece and tumblr feels like a good place for that. 

[haich-slash-cee]

Is the print publishing world picking up online/fandom terms? How they are using them? How do we feel about this?

So this is... attention-getting, for folks who like to follow publishing and meta stuff.

https://twitter.com/sapphicxrey/status/1215065948677443584

https://twitter.com/TorDotComPub/status/1233391556750647299

(2nd tweet -- TW, mentions of non-con)

Are we seeing the beginnings of book publishers directly borrowing from online/fandom culture in promoting their books? How do we feel about these examples?

More below cut.

Exhibit #1: screenshots of Bonds of Brass promo from Jan 8 2020. (Which is probably going to have reactions of “haha, cute” at most.)

Transcript of blurb: 

“If you like... 

forbidden romances, “there’s only one bed”, cityships, weaponized umbrellas, powersuits, secret princes, best friends, best friends PINING, fake dating between PINING best friends, tactical streaking, the minivan of starships, cigar-chomping cyborg ladies, scary empress moms, galactic-level bisexual disasters, LEGACY (WHAT IS A LEGACY?), rooftop hopping, golden trios, rumblin’ drums, bootleg fireworks, BIG SPACE BATTLES PEW PEW, a surprisingly functional public transit system, mob trouble, one hell of a pilot, the inherent DRAMA of empire, a nice interlude in a river, smoking a joint that’s been on the floor, sick stunts, slick grifts, hiding in a dumpster, or any combination of the above,

 Then you might like 

BONDS OF BRASS”

The Twitter responses seem to be generally enthusiastic. (And also, “FinnPoe! FinnPoe!”)

Personally, I’m intrigued from a meta-view of “oh so that’s definitely pulling from online world and fanfiction world, interesting. I wonder how much fanfiction culture is starting to influence print book culture and promotion.” Maybe I’ve got some questions like, “Ok so moneymaking companies such as Penguin are now using culture developed by the not-moneymaking-world of fanfiction? How do we feel about this?” Anyway, the book looks cute, I’m interested enough and I might get it from the library.

I suspect many people’s reactions are along the lines of “hm, interesting”, “sounds like a lark”, or “haha they’re using AO3 tags as promo”, etc. 

Exhibit #2, screenshots of DOCILE promo, from Feb 28 2020 (today is March 1 2020), and screenshots of Twitter responses so far:

(*CW, non-con discussion)

Tweet transcript:

“DOCILE by @KMSzpara:  

-Dubcon/Noncon 

-Dramatic Trillionaire Content 

-BDSM and then some more BDSM and then a lot more BDSM

 -Hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort

 -Cinnamon roll of steel 

-The most scandalous kink: love 

-Courtroom, bedroom, & Preakness drama

[Tor book website link]”

So this is getting mixed reactions on Twitter. All dozen or so reactions, so far. Here’s text transcripts and bio info from repliers, below. I’m being a little obsessive, mostly to show that there’s a mix of queer, book-ish people in the replies (including the author).)

Noncon is nonconsentual sex, rape. Even in fandom it's a content tag, not a promotional term. I can't imagine being a rape survivor and seeing this come across my TL. -- @WriteSomeGood [queer rainbow] [Cis queer homemaker, aspiring author, maker of incredible cinnamon buns. She/her] [has a Tumblr page]

I’m not a survivor but it was an instant “no thank you” from me. And I was sincerely looking forward to this prior to. This is the most immediately off-putting marketing push I’ve seen for a book in a long damn time. -- @AGAWilmot [Author, editor, artist. Co-EIC of @anathemaspec. @SFU alum. The Death Scene Artist/W&W 2018. Ace/enby. They/them. Horror is my comfort food.]

Whichever intern wrote this tweet, deserves a full time job. With benefits. -- @simeontsanev [Aspiring writer, post-aspiring musician, and overall geek  He/Him /[queer rainbow]/ To the world we dream about, and the one we live in now! http://simeontsanev.com]

Idk why everyone thinks it’s always an intern writing copy and not a team comprised of extremely skilled social media experts, editors, publicists and marketers, and their assistants  I worked on those tags with my editor and a good friend!! -- @KMSzpara [Kellan. [queer rainbow]  Speculative fiction writer. Queer agenda.  Hugo & Nebula finalist.  DOCILE 3/3/20 from Tor Dot Com Publishing.  He/him.  Rep @suddenlyjen] *The author, bio page and twitter page.

this is CUTE! -- @MSSciarappa  [queer rainbow] I do books. he/him.

I am Extremely Ready for this content thank u -- @JessicaBCooper [Journo ☽ Writer of faerie, villain fuckery & cruel desires ☽ Lestat & Loki's love child ☽ Aleksander Morozova's side-hoe ☽ Rep'd by Kate Testerman @ktliterary]

I’m listening -- @MerynLobb [Government worker. Weightlifter. Nihilist. Aspiring cult leader. Avid user of words, often bad ones. #AMM R6 Mentee. she/her]

Soon! Soon!! -- @castrophony [Geek. Gamer. Cosplayer. Bibliophile. Scientist. She/Her.]

[happy reaction gif] -- @TorDotComPub [Providing a home for writers to tell SFF stories in exactly the number of words they choose. All our titles are available globally in print and DRM-free ebook.]

[throwing stuff in dumpster, unhappy reaction gif] -- @cursedgravy  [name's xavi, im a transman and i like to daydream about making content] 

For more context, here’s the blurb from the author website. Below is the blurb from the publisher’s site:

“Docile

K.M. Szpara

K. M. Szpara's Docile is a science fiction parable about love and sex, wealth and debt, abuse and power, a challenging tour de force that at turns seduces and startles.

There is no consent under capitalism.

To be a Docile is to be kept, body and soul, for the uses of the owner of your contract. To be a Docile is to forget, to disappear, to hide inside your body from the horrors of your service. To be a Docile is to sell yourself to pay your parents' debts and buy your children's future.

Elisha Wilder’s family has been ruined by debt, handed down to them from previous generations. His mother never recovered from the Dociline she took during her term as a Docile, so when Elisha decides to try and erase the family’s debt himself, he swears he will never take the drug that took his mother from him.

Too bad his contract has been purchased by Alexander Bishop III, whose ultra-rich family is the brains (and money) behind Dociline and the entire Office of Debt Resolution. When Elisha refuses Dociline, Alex refuses to believe that his family’s crowning achievement could have any negative side effects—and is determined to turn Elisha into the perfect Docile without it.

Content warning: Docile contains forthright depictions and discussions of rape and sexual abuse.”

So that’s a lot of info and reactions.

Personally: at first glance, I absently skimmed the tweet and “hurt/comfort” popped out, and I was like “What? Mainstream publishing is cool with this now? I was wondering if ‘hurt/comfort’ would one day become commonly used in publishing [related post]. But this is way sooner than I thought.” And then I read the rest of of the tweet and thought, “Wait, what?” 

And then I started reading through the tweet replies and thought, “OK, at the risk of getting a bunch of Tumblr drama, I want to bring this to the whump community and see how people feel."

As for myself, one of my squicks is non-con, and I’m not really interested in hurt/no comfort. So just from the tweet, I know the book is not for me. The official blurbs confirmed that. In this sense, this is like skimming Ao3 tags on a fic and saying “pass” on a story.

However, I have questions about the specific promotion of the book. So the official blurbs are pretty standard. What about that tweet, which Tor (and the author, who helped put it together) put out? Because I think an official publisher’s Tweet comes with different context than Ao3 tags.

First, the different internet spaces. You can filter tags on Ao3 and Tumblr. I know you can mute words on Twitter, but is that the same thing? Also, would people be expecting these tags on Twitter? Compared to Ao3 or Tumblr or Tumblr Whump spaces?

Within the Tumblr Whump community, from what I’ve browsed, the community attitude (guidelines?) seem to be “Write and discuss what you want. Be sure to tag it, use content warnings, or otherwise clearly communicate if you have things that may be triggering. Respect people’s squicks/triggers. Walk away from what you don’t like.” Like, tumblr whump has a very specific culture of trying to balance discourse/stories about potentially very dark stuff, but also wanting to make sure the IRL people and Tumblr users are okay. There’s always posts going around about how to do this, are we doing this in the right way, ethics, so on. Also -- and people can correct me -- the whump tumblr space might be where tags are content warnings for people to stay away, and also what people might actively look for. So if any space is going to discuss if this promotional tweet checks out, I feel like it’s this space. 

Also, to note again, Tor Tweets are in the money-official-publisher-world, not unpaid-tumblr-people or unpaid-fanfiction-fandom-world.

Maybe I just want to ask, “Hey those first two tweet responses, does they have a point? Tor using ‘noncon’ as official promotion? On Twitter?” I mean, I’ve previously written, “The CW and TW tags that Ao3 writers use, I really wish those were used with published books as well.” But somehow, the Tor tweet was not quite what I was expecting. Maybe for reasons similar to that first tweet response. (I guess one could debate if a tweet is really promotion or just information... you know what someone can correct me, but I’m gonna say that a Tor.com tweet is promotion, compared to information like Ao3, and that tweet was there for promotion.)

Those tags operate within specific Ao3 and Tumblr cultures and infrastructure. I don’t hang around Twitter for whump stuff, IDK what the culture is. Anyway, does dropping these tags into a promotional tweet from Tor.... translate?

The tweet is evidently gathering the people who are there for it, and the people who aren’t there for it are quickly realizing that they are not there for it. But personally, the Tor website blurb does a better job at that, using writing that I’d expect from a publisher for communicating fictional non-con situations. (Maybe the blurb content warnings are what I wanted more of, when I said I wished for CW and TW in books.)

Anyway, there’s no huge drama about that Docile book promo on Twitter, as far as I can tell. So this is a niche thing, right now. But. The promo for Bonds of Brass and for Docile might be the beginnings of a trend of well-known book publishers borrowing from online writing / fandom culture and terminology in order to promote or categorize their books. These two promos might set a precedent or have other significance.

So if anyone has discourse on the tweets or potential future trends... 

[mxwormie]

i ranted a little

warning: mentions of sexual content, mentions of incest, mentions of pedophilia

this resurgence of the problem with porn artists working on children’s cartoons is making me think about my fandom experience when i was a young teenager 

i definitely got exposed to more than i asked for when i started using the internet more when i was around 12 years old and interested in anime/manga but it got much worse when i got into homestuck

the VAST over-sexualization i was exposed to in the homestuck fandom even at age 14 absolutely normalized a lot of not so good things for me. obviously i could relate to the 13 yr old homestuck characters and like i can barely remember my first reactions to reading homestuck back then but i do remember getting deep into fanart and fanfiction unlike i had with other fandoms. 

pretty soon i was introduced to explicit slash fiction and somewhere along the line it was normalized for me to see young characters aged up for that kind of thing. i had friends who were into it and would share it with me, especially when i got into high school. i started using tumblr more and meeting people in online spaces

i started getting into roleplaying, which was RIFE with sexual content. i had older friends online that seemed to have no problem sharing explicit fanart and fanfiction with me??? when i was 15-17 years old??? and this is all still within the homestuck fandom. the friends i had back then were into incest shipping and just like everything else i just went with it. it freaks me out to think back on it!!!!! i’ve come a long way from there thankfully but my experience the homestuck fandom was extremely oversaturated with sexual and problematic content. dear god so much pedophilic and incest stuff was normal in the homestuck fandom

and it seriously blurred the lines about what kind of content was okay!! i’m 20+ now and would never consider consuming or making content of minor characters but when i was a teenager in the homestuck fandom i did a lot of that and it didn’t seem weird to me because of everything. it’s also a strange situation with the characters being aged up at the last minute in “canon” so??? idk its weird 

i guess my point is that older fans and creators need to be more careful :/

i’m like too scared to go into anime tags sometimes even with h*ntai blacklisted because there’s always people drawing fuckin naked teenagers!! it’s fucked up but the worse thing is obvs these types of people being accepted onto mainstream cartoon shows and unapologetically being associated with pornographic material of young characters. it pisses me off

so many people have had horrible things happen to them due to exposure to sexual fan content at a young age and no one deserves that. i wish show-runners would take a stronger stance against pedophilia in fandom or it’s only going to get worse

if you agree with saying “let artists do what they want” then please block me

the priority should be protecting young people no matter what 

tl;dr: artists should be held accountable, i think fandoms are over-sexualized, and pedophilia is always wrong

[athena1138]

Lets be controversial shall we? Cullen R.

PFFT. If you think Cullen is controversial on this blog, you must be new. But thank you :3 

How I feel about this character a;uigrljkgvnsjbgrwdhljkascxnvz.jkrsgfle/d I love him. He’s my #1 favorite DA actual romance (second only to Varric.) I love his path, his journey, his growth. I’ve made a dozen posts about how much I admire him because he’s only fucking 30 by the time Inquisition rolls around and he’s already gone through so much but he’s managed to turn himself back into such a moderately well adjusted person even after a lifetime of indoctrination, after physical and mental torture and seeing his entire Circle die, after heavy addiction tendencies and reinforced propaganda by his superior officer, he still manages to bring it all back together and not be a worthless piece of shit. I know, he’s done horrible things. I’m not excusing those. He is a VERY problematic character, but I get it. PTSD does crazy fucking things to people, alright? Anders fucking accepted a demon into himself and blew up a Chantry. Obviously those two are the extremes, but there’s a myriad of other things we can see in other characters stemming from PTSD like-- Fenris walks out on the only true romance he’s probably ever had, Cassandra throws herself into her work to take her mind off her brother’s death, if you kill the Chargers then TIB shuts himself off completely and commits entirely to the Qun, Blackwall’s ENTIRE IDENTITY is a result of guilt-formed PTSD. 

My point is. Cullen did fucked up things. But I know why he did them. I do not condone them, no, but I mean. Fucking hell. He was 19 when Uldred had his rebellion. He was barely 20 when he went to Kirkwall and started working with Meredith whose anti-mage rhetoric only reinforced his UNTREATED trauma into anti-mage hate, and then he spent the next 7 years in a city with more blood mages than in the entire series put together, but he still pulled it all back in enough to at the very least be willing to work with mages in the Inquisition, to work alongside a mage, to love a mage, ON TOP OF the potential to end what is essentially a lifelong addiction to lyrium. He’s an incredibly strong and resilient person and I fucking love him. 11/10 would die for. Yep. Not to mention he’s fucking beautiful and his voice? I just. Whew. Oh my god. You wanna make me feel things, you better start playing Cullen’s voice. (Also, can we talk about that fucking stupid little laugh he gives during Wicked Grace night? Because that’s my Tumblr notification sound and it gives me fucking LIFE.) 

All the people I ship romantically with this character ME DAMMIT PLEASE GOD LET ME LOVE HIM. No, but, I’ve read some Cullrian things I’ve liked, and then there’s the Cassandra ship which I don’t totally hate (can you imagine those two blushing idiots together? I think I would die.) Otherwise idrk. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character I just want him to be friends with the world, ok? But I feel like he and TIB would be good friends if they were allowed to strategize (assuming they aren’t already good friends. I mean, there is that little dialogue Cullen has with a Jim about “He used how many shields?” and he sounded so thoroughly impressed.) And, I guess him and Rylen is a thing I’m starting to become aware of more. 

My unpopular opinion about this character Pfft. Did you read the first answer? I guess my next one would be, I really hate those mods that give Inquisition Cullen the curly hair. I do. I hate them. They’re not good, and they totally invalidate my favorite War Table banter which is Leliana and Josephine picking on Cullen about styling his hair. Curly haired Cullen FANART is my shit, especially if there’s a mess of curls standing nearby that’s his kid, but the mods are bad. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. A longer romance with more dialogue since he’s not a companion, and I know this would’ve been hard/impossible to do, but I think it would’ve been nice to see him talk to Hawke. Maybe he apologizes for how he was and promises them he’s doing better, idk. It would’ve been sweet. 

TL;DR Cullen Stanton Rutherford is an fucking idiot and I would die for him in a heartbeat. I’m not writing a 50+ chapter story about him for nothing you know. 

[pastpassages]

This isn’t particularly a “me and natsuki” song so much as a “this seems to capture some of the way I experience love and also the world” song but. I wanted to put it here and some thinky thoughts bc it’s late and I feel like pontificating I guess. Properties/fandoms/people I mention but do not want to draw the attention of have been censored, if you can’t figure out what they are and really want to know feel free to message me.  

Cw: exploration of like. The inevitability of death, and change, and facing the vast universe. Tl;dr this song is macabre and its speaker knows that wishing for things to stay as they are is in vain, but does it anyway. That fuckin gets me bro.

Ideally the read more will work. I apologize if it doesn’t. I’m on mobile and not sure that tumblr will let me edit posts on desktop that I started on mobile. I literally copy and pasted this freaking post onto desktop so it would have a read more bc no one fucking deserves to scroll through my late night mile long thoroughly existential ramblings. At least I’m posting this fuck off late at night so hopefully it won’t bother anyone

The simple instrumentation, first off. It’s p much the same…one? Two? Maybe three measures? Repeated throughout the song, but I think it works very well with the themes and meaning and doesn’t annoy me like other acoustic-style music with so much repetition (*cough* M*mf*rd and S*ns *cough*). This is partially I think bc there’s changes in the notes etc between different parts of the song; the measure of silence between the intro and the first main stanza of the song, the change in. I think it’s key? Over the course of repeating the chorus. (It’s been so long since I’ve done music, stanza isn’t the right word and key probably isn’t either hELP)

But the main thing that seems to get me: the lyrics.

“How lucky / I ever was to see / The way that / You smiled at me / Your little moon face / Shining bright at me / One day soon, there’ll be nothing left of you and me / Two coffins for sleep” (I may have put too many line breaks in there lol but that’s how it Feels so I’m keeping it)

There’s this constant awareness of the inevitability of loss (specifically death in this case), and how. Mm, how to put it. The randomness of the universe can so often work against us, and being aware of that makes you incredibly thankful for the times when things do go in your favor. Very similar vibes to TWRP’s Life Party, though definitely more macabre in tone.

Going back to the first stanza in the song:

“Two coffins for sleep / One for you, one for me / We’ll get there eventually / In the dark of our graves, our bodies will decay / I wish you’d never change”

Something I find interesting about this portion is that, despite ending with “I wish you’d never change,” acknowledging that this change, death, is inevitable, there’s still this. Hope? I guess might be the right word? Or maybe faith. That the speaker and the person addressed in the song will be together in death. They will be in separate coffins, but “we’ll” get there; “in the dark of our graves, our bodies will decay. Plural. They may be separated physically but they are undergoing the same process, and perhaps there is some measure of togetherness in that. It may just be economical phrasing to fit the rhythm of the song, but it still implies a togetherness to me. It could have been phrased "I’ll get there and you’ll get there,” “in the dark of the graves, our bodies,” or similar. Again, that probably wouldn’t work with the rhythm and there is probably not an inherent meaning to it, but still! I was an English major, reading more into things that aren’t necessarily there is like My Job lol.

Anyway, before I got sidetracked by that thought I was going to say that the main point of this portion of the song is this sort of impossible wish for the speaker and the person addressed to not be separated. Yes, this is inevitable, yes, there is no fighting it, but…wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a small kindness from the universe like that, to not be separated in the end. It won’t happen, but let’s take a moment to imagine it anyway.

Another side note, this is kind of a similar thought process to why I like the way st*vens *niverses handles its villains. Yes, talking and emotional connection with those you’re in conflict with doesn’t always work. But isn’t it nice to imagine a world where it does? And if we do imagine that, maybe we can find a few ways to be more compassionate in our world, to extend grace and kindness where we might not have thought to otherwise. And perhaps that will make the world just a tiny bit better.

Anyway. Moving forward:

“All the things that I have yet to lose will someday be gone too / Back into annihilation / All things will fade, maybe it’s better off that way / I wish you’d stay with me”

First off, the phrasing “back into annihilation.” We come from nothingness, we will return to nothingness. This is not a religious song. There is not an afterlife waiting for us, nothing that created us. There is the life we have, here and now, and then it’s gone.

Otherwise, this stanza continues the overall theme: we inevitably march on towards death, and separation. We will lose all that we have. Perhaps that is good, ultimately; would it truly make you happy in the long run to never experience pain or loss? This is a sentiment that I’m sure has been expressed many times by many people, but that I remember first hearing from st*r tr*k, though I cannot currently find a clip of the moment I’m thinking of. Not that human life is inherently bad or painful, but that pain is a necessary part of life to balance the good. If there was not pain of some kind in your life, you would not appreciate your happiness so much. Obviously, this line of thinking only goes so far; it is not, for example, a good thing that marginalized people tend to experience outsized pain in comparison with the nice things they receive from society. Happiness for marginalized people is more often forged and seized, stolen from life rather than given freely by it. No, poverty does not “make you appreciate the virtues of life” more, it makes you hungry and tired and frustrated, can you please just take some action against it. Conversely, j*ff b*z*s could probably use a bit more pain in his life! ….I got sidetracked again. Wish tumblr had a footnotes feature. Anyway. The speaker acknowledges the inevitability of death/loss, but once again expresses that vain wish to not lose the person addressed in the song, to keep what they have in this moment. Once again, this will never happen. Let’s imagine it anyway. Perhaps it will be a comfort, despite its improbability.

After this, the chorus is repeated, eventually shifting into a repetition of the phrase “Two coffins for sleep,” finishing the song. To return to the instrumentation, the guitar and drums follow a consistent, simple rhythm, mimicking that of walking. Constantly moving forward, even when we don’t want to. We will die, eventually, “one day soon,” far off and yet much closer than we hope or want. Change is inevitable. Death is inevitable.

And yet. That small, vain hope remains. “I wish you’d stay with me.” “I wish you’d never change.” Maybe, in a kinder world, we could keep this moment as more than a memory. “How lucky / I ever was to see / The way that / You smiled at me.” In all the cold randomness of the universe, against all improbability, we did meet. We brought each other joy. “Your little moon face / Shining bright at me.” We reflect the good, the kindness in each other. “One day soon, there’ll be nothing left of you and me.” And yet. And yet. “Two coffins for sleep / Two coffins for sleep.” Separated, and yet together, even if it’s just an illusion.

To explain why this means so much to me….I’m not sure I can do it succinctly lol. But hey, this post is a mile long already, so why not. No one’s obligated to read this lol.

When I was younger I was more religious. (This is not a “religion/spirituality is a childish thing and I have put that behind me” point, don’t worry.) When I was a teenager I was an atheist for like. Edgy points, idk. I was starting to see some of the worse parts of the world, starting to wonder what gods who truly cared about the world would let it get so horrid for so many. I’m still fairly young (mid-20s is not old, I must keep reminding myself), but now my view is…somewhere in the middle of those two points. Or maybe it’s more that I took a left turn?

The point is, now I kind of don’t care whether there is a god/are gods, whatever. You know how when you’re a kid (barring abusive circumstances that break this illusion much earlier etc) you believe that your parents know everything? They can fix anything, they’re your parents! They’re your whole world! And then you get older, and you realize that no. They don’t know everything. They were your whole world, perhaps, but there’s literally billions more people in the world. People that you can connect to, learn from, build things together with. The world is so much more than you and your parents. That’s the stage I’m at with my belief in a higher power. Sure, they might be out there. But they’re just one being, how could they possibly understand and control everything in this fuck off complicated world of ours? Or, if you’re going the polytheistic route, they’re just as complicated as the rest of the world. Chances are, appeasing one would anger another. One step forward, two steps back. (I should make it explicit if it wasn’t already clear, I come from a Xtian background. I default to thinking of god in the singular. Not sure how well this point holds up from a polytheistic perspective tbh!)

Anyway. It does not matter whether there is a higher power. There is more to the world than that. We are here. We have each other.

There’s a moment in night in the woods that hit me like a truck. Angus says, “so I believe in a universe that doesn’t care, and people who do.” I have essentially taken four times as many words to express that same sentiment! But like. That’s it. It doesn’t matter whether there’s a higher power. If they can fix the world, they haven’t, and if they can’t, then they can’t. We can, piece by piece. Moment by moment.

The thing about this. Is that humans. Are not, by nature, necessarily good. “People are fundamentally people,” as TPratchett and NGaiman put it. The world is infinitely complicated, and on top of that we as individual humans are infinitely complex. We do not, by default, seek out and work towards the good of others. (We do not inherently seek out hurting others either! Get that original sin shit out of here!) But like. If there isn’t a higher power that’s going to just fix our shit for us? If we’re all we’ve got?

And thus. Finally. The reason this song speaks to me. Oh my lord is it existentially horrifying to think that it comes down to silly, insignificant, flawed humans to change the world. You have to find something to give you joy. Or at least a moment of less pain. The world is so vast, and we can do so little.

But we have each other. In this vast, empty universe, I have you, and you have me. And perhaps, to soothe our fears and make things just a little easier on ourselves, we can pretend that the world will be kind. Wouldn’t it be nice? If things were kinder. Let’s take a moment to imagine it. There, that’s a nice thought, isn’t it? The world will not be kind. But for a moment, we can pretend it will.

Perhaps, if we are very lucky, we can even take a small step towards that kinder world.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

[fletchfeathers]

well lads it’s been a while since i had to write an Angsty Tumblr Post, huh

idk man i’ve just been thrown Under the Bus this year it feels like ... i feel like i’m just barely hanging on to any fucken shred of Feeling Okay that i can and that’s mostly coming in the form of sleep and alcohol at the moment which is Obviously Not Great

i’m just so lonely, other than having edwin here for a few weeks in august i haven’t seen most of my friends in person since last year and i’m,, really kinda suffering for it

we were supposed to have most of those friends come over at the end of october for halloween shenanigans but we had to cancel because of covid and idk it just feels like Everything i was looking forward to this year has been taken away, and i know this is the Universal Experience at the moment but just. man

i feel like i’ve just been scraping by this year bc like i haven’t even had the respite of not having to do my day job so i could focus on things i enjoy and like, i know, how spoiled of me, i’m lucky to Have a Job at the moment and to be doing it but y’know where everyone else is all “yeah i’ve been using furlough to pursue some of my passions/learn new stuff/get some rest/take a break from The World” i’m like ... boy do i wish that were me, i feel like i haven’t fuckin’ stopped and had a Real, Actual Break for so long

i was supposed to go see mcr this year, i wanted so bad to start a masters in illustration but got rejected,  i wanted to start on hrt but got rejected for that too, my supposed best friend since i was 16 hasn’t spoken to me since last august, i was gonna see about hitting up more conventions and maybe even tabling, i wanted to really buckle down on commissions and really improving on my art but it’s so fucking difficult when i’m just exhausted from work and everything else

fuck idk all of this sounds so entitled and shitty but. that’s how it be

tl;dr i’m whiny about the world being shit and i know i’m not the only one and a lot of people are having it WAY worse, especially y’all in the usa, but cut me some slack, maybe?

[langblog]

11 questions tag

thank u @lemonadeandlanguages & @amor-fusion (i kno u tagged me a while ago and i told myself i would get to it eventually so here i am!!) for tagging me!!

rules:

1. post the rules
2. answer the questions given to you.
3. make 11 questions of your own.
4. tag 11 people.

@lemonadeandlanguages questions:

1. what languages have u studied?

mandarin, french, portuguese, spanish, a couple years ago i learned how to read hangul, & when i was in like 7th grade i learned a couple of signs in asl (idk if that counts lmao but w/e)

2. if you could have one wish granted, what would it be?

hmm this one is kinda hard bc up to now one of my greatest wishes was to see fob live and i did on sunday !! i guess maybe have a successful career and be financially stable 🤔

3. whats your favorite season? why?

i havent experienced seasons in years tbh over here is just Hot and Humid but i guess i would say fall 🍂

4. what language are you most comfortable speaking in?

english

5. did you ever sleep with a stuffed animal? how old were you when you stopped?

wym stop i still do sometimes when i get really scared at night 😤

6. do you spend a lot of time on tumblr?

hell yea i do i have 3 different blogs that i run

7. if you could study anything in university, what would it be? why?

if this is referring to just one class i guess portuguese bc i was really looking forward to taking it next semester but i had to switch it out for psychology 😔

8. whats your favorite tv show?

wow well rn im obsessed with stranger things i finished season 2 last night and it was just amazing i would DIE for the whole cast BUT my fav show ever would have to be the office

9. have you ever visited a country where you didnt speak the language? how did you communicate?

yes!! i’ve been to a couple of countries where i dont speak the language but fortunately in france, italy, portugal, and brazil, a lot of people speak spanish so thats how we got by. but in russia & the czech republic, we got by through our tour guides who did speak english and they showed us around the cities

10. are you shy?

yes definitely i am and surprisingly im more shy on the internet than in real life bc all my mutuals seem like such cool people that i want to talk to but i get way too intimidated so i kinda just keep to myself most of the time lmao

11. whats a fun fact about yourself?

i hate scary movies and getting scared so much but its ironic bc my fav movie of all time is a horror movie (the shining)

@amor-fusion questions:

1. what target languages do you want to learn?

well apart from the languages i already am learning i would like to learn asl, arabic, japanese, & italian in the future

2. whats the funniest word in your target language(s)?

mandarin: 屁 pì - fart (im literally 10 years old guys)

portuguese: borboleta - butterfly (its not really as funny as it is amusing the way its pronounced idk)

italian (its not a tl of mine but still): burro - butter (i find this funny bc burro in spanish is donkey)

3. what advice would you give to aspiring polyglots?

dont give up!!!! no matter how hard it gets!!! also dont feel bad if u need to take a break and come back later ur target language isnt going anywhere

4. would you learn a minority/ endangered language?

tbh i wouldn’t im just not very interested in them atm but who knows maybe i’ll change my mind later

5. what places do you wanna visit?

wow so many places but im too lazy to list them all lmao

6. do you have friends in your target language?

yes! i have one friend in brazil who i met in my junior year he actually inspired me to learn portuguese lmao

7. would you consider working in a field related to languages?

yup im actually aspiring to be an interpreter

8. is there a holiday you like in your target languages?

im assuming this question means holidays in the countries where my tls are spoken and yess i really like the chinese new year & mid autumn festival as well as carnaval in brazil

9. whats your favorite food?

pancakes 🥞🤤

10. if you had to convince a person to learn one language (any language), what language would it be and why?

M A N D A R I N like its such a beautiful language and its so fun??? plus its the language with the most native speakers so why not 🤷🏻‍♀️

11. are there any memes in your target language(s) that you would like to share?

umm yea but they’re videos on instagram so idrk how i would share them here :-/

ok now my questions:

1. what is your fav song in each of your target languages?

2. what is your fav method of studying your target language(s)?

3. are there any tongue twisters you know in you target language(s)?

4. do you have any hobbies?

5. who are your favorite bands/artists/groups?

6. if you could become fluent in any language that isnt your target language what would it be?

7. what is something that most people dont know about you?

8. how long have you been studying your target language(s)?

9. what is your dream job?

10. what would you do if you woke up and realized you were in a country whose language you did not speak?

11. what do you like the most about your native language?

i tag @somalang @watashiwahaksaeng @woailanguages @rosyrevision @stuclyblrs @spanishland @aspoonfuloflanguage @chat-got-your-langue @bonbonlanguage @lukas-langs @languagemoon

[uchihahotline]

Thank You & Update (Long Post)

Hello!

This is Rose. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to talk to you guys on tumblr. Kevin has been checking the account from time to time, but I wanted to drop in because I missed being here (btw, I hadn’t read his posts until recently so I know his grammar is...not the best hahaha but he told me he had to type the first message himself so that you ‘could tell it was him typing and know he was there’ :’) ). I’m not sure how tumblr works anymore, and I don’t know if people still do posts like this, but oh well because there’s some stuff I wanted to say to those of you who have been following us since last year or before:

1. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I know that we’ve said this countless times when we were active on here, but now that we’ve been away for almost a year it just made us realize how much of an impact all of you made on us. You made us so, so happy and we’re still incredibly humbled that you guys even liked our work or noticed us when we started the blog. Not being able to interact as much with you has been lonely, but it was a break we definitely needed to fix a lot of problems inside and outside of cosplay. Even though they used to tire us out, when we reflect on doing asks they were some of the funnest times we’ve had and we’d be nowhere without all of you, especially those who stuck around even when we left, and those who continued to follow our journey on other social media. I want to say thank you to anyone new reading this as well!! I hope you will continue to be a part of our little family. 

2. Things are different.

If you’ve been following us for only a short time, or on other social media, you can skip this part! I know a lot of people say “I’ve changed” and don’t mean it. Heck, if you don’t like us you probably won’t believe I mean it either (though idk why you’d be reading this anyway). But when we first started this blog, we were pretty new to social media on a public level. We didn’t think we’d ever gain a following. I didn’t know how people were supposed to react to hate or threats or “antis” and it’s taken a long time to learn what to respond to and what to block out. I’m not sorry for standing up for myself against the more intense threats or talking about my mental health, especially because the latter is what helped a lot of great people open up to me, but I wish I started out with the same mentality I have now so that I wouldn’t have been so afraid. 

If that were the case, we would’ve never been driven off here by hate and the blog would’ve kept rolling, but there’s no point in thinking about the what ifs. All I can do is apologize for the times I was irrational and move forward from it. It may not seem like it’s been that long, but I can’t even read some of my old posts because it feels like when you find an old account from middle school where you’re just so angry at everything. People can actually change, and most do sooner or later. Maybe not completely, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have grown from their experiences. When you’re faced with bigger challenges, trivial things just start to matter less and less and you don’t have room for them.

I never want people to forget that I’m a real person and not a robot who smiles all day, but at the same time I’ve grown a lot and less things bother me. Kevin has opened up a lot more and our relationship is very productive. Some people still talk about our break and well, I don’t know if they’ve realized, but that break was almost 1 year ago. If someone can’t move on from what happened in our relationship when we have, that’s not our problem anymore. There’s no need to worry about us and if something does happen again, it’s just between us two, and we’re so thankful to you guys who have supported us through and through.

Also, you probably know this if you’re reading this far, but we started out VERY defensive about SasuSaku. We still love the ship unconditionally, but it took us years of cosplaying them to realize that no matter what, there will always be people who hate them or hate us for cosplaying them. You can’t convince everyone to like you or the things you like and that’s okay, because that’s not your job and you shouldn’t stress yourself out trying to make it yours. We’ve both learned to let little things like arguments over fictional characters go because well, let’s face it, Kevin and I are getting older and there are just bigger things to worry about in the world.

3. We’re still here, we’re still creating content, and you can talk to us.

We never quit cosplay, still do SasuSaku, and still do lots of shoots and videos (we just haven’t caught up to posting them here)! We’re actually even more active in cosplay and are working on a couple SS vids including a new CMV. If you want to talk about things and don’t have instagram or twitter, you can email us, or if you like snail mail our PO Box is open. I miss you all very much and I miss this blog. Maybe one day when things are more settled we can do asks again if that’s still a thing. I’d really like to reconnect with you if that’s something you wanna do!! I’m also starting up being a pen pal again if you like letters!

Tl;dr:

We love you and we miss you, a bunch of stuff happened but it helped us grow, we have moved on. We didn’t quit, we’re working on a bunch of SS stuff, & please talk to us anytime.

If you read this massive essay bless your heart and I hope you’re having a wonderful day/night! ‘Til next time. <3

[firesofdainix]

My Writing Process

my writing process is simple, really:

1. idea

2. OW MY WRISTS

3. ???

4. 5-10 notes (FUCK YOU)

okay fine, i’ll give you an excruciating detailed thing that usually i only do in COMPLEX multi-chapter fics (the mafia au), but never really do it in parts or oneshots (who needs outlines on oneshots)

i mean, like, FUCK

Outlining

i rarely do outlines, tbh. this is why the mafia fic is kinda messy, since ideas are being barfed up in every single chapter in incoherent BLURBS. i usually like, outline in my head - obviously - but whenever things get too complex or i want to jump ahead to multiple chapters without my thoughts for some chapters overlapping, i make a physical outline.

but the thing with me is: is that i rarely even FOLLOW my outline- it’s just there as a prototype for the final writing of the chapter, whenever it may be. i mean sure, i might stick w/ some of it, but ultimately, it was more of an... organiser for my brain- to get my clusterfuck of thoughts out from their funky frenzy. hell, i rarely even update the outline unless i have an idea about what’s gonna happen and i try putting it down.

the outline also helps me try writing foreshadowing (which i never really used properly), since i have,,, zero clue on how to write foreshadowing

here is the outline of chapter 14 that was changed in the final version.

and here are the differences the chapter 14:

(instead of going to a date Japan and America go on in their separate ways)

instead of writing the date i just put Mongolia’s anxiety because i am a lazy writer

Imsi and Shanghai don’t go to a road trip as planned (bc it feels UNNATURAL)

and lastly, Weimar nor France didn’t make any appearances this chapter.

basically, i outline when i want to and need to, a.k.a to stop making my mind stressed out.

Writing

on writing, back when it was still the school years, i usually write on my phone in every free time i have (meetings, free periods, lunch, going home), until my phone broke and quarantine started. i’m not really one to pre-write things that were about to happen, because i have a mind that tells me NOT to write blurbs or short parts that i can paste together because... that’s just how my brain works, and idk if i should listen to it.

the prime example was the first chapter of the mafia fic--- i wrote it while there was no internet, and i refuse to write the second chapter until it was posted on tumblr and AO3.

(ugh, no wonder why it’s so sloppy)

confession: my cellphone is a very smol device- i usually get distracted from writing whenever there is internet, which is why i rarely write at home and choose to do it at schools and buses, cause they are an internet-free zone and give me more time and concentration to write. i type very rapidly, and i’m still amazed at the fact that all chapter i finished (yes, including the monstrosity that is chapter 6) is made in a goddamn WEEK. either my hands never give up (until chapter 6 happened) or we just keep getting granted lots of free periods lmao

some of the best bits i wrote at school was this,

(i wish i can write like that again)

(and this, which made chapter 3 redeemable)

basically, i miss writing like that wtf

anyway, writing’s a huge pain and i have to wonder how i got broken wrists in the first place

Editing

i hate editing??? it’s what got me to break my wrists ultimately in the first place, so.

anyways i edit like only one time- look for typos, add a few more words that can give the entire work meaning, before posting it; but for the mafia fic, i have to edit it twice- in the document and in the actual thing, since i have like,,, ZERO CLUE on how to spot grammatical errors and spelling mistakes (THE DIFFERENCES OF AMERICA AND BRITISH SPELLINGS)

tl;dr: i will scream if my whole 8k oneshot is ignored