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my-bated-breath · 4 years ago

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Research Shows that Zutara Would Have Been the Ideal Friends to Lovers Dynamic

(featured below: a very self-indulgent Zutara post that uses Facts and Evidence to be self-indulgent)

When I joined the ATLA fandom, a common trend I've seen used to discredit Zutara was the belief that upon transitioning from a platonic relationship to a romantic one, Zuko and Katara would immediately become The Worst (TM) for each other. It's quite the stretch, and the Zutara fandom nearly unanimously recognizes that. Still, since the attacks have yet to cease even 15 years after the show’s first release, I'd like to add my two-cents on the subject, along with a reference to actual research that is much harder to dismiss.

The reason why Zutara is framed as a “toxic and unhealthy” relationship is that their romance would be a classic example of the enemies-to-lovers trope, a trope which modern media has not been particularly kind to. However, when executed correctly, enemies-to-lovers can produce a healthy and loving relationship, frequently relying on friendship as an intermediate between the “enemy” and “lover” stages in the most well-executed versions of this trope. Meanwhile, the trope of friends-to-lovers is just as popular as enemies-to-lovers, though the specific dynamic required between two individuals to achieve this transition is not well-known. Recognizing this, Laura K. Guerrero and Paul A. Mongeau, both of whom are involved in relationship-related research as professors at Arizona State University, wrote a research paper on how friendships may transition into romantic relationships.

While “On Becoming ‘More Than Friends: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship” covers a variety of aspects regarding how friends may approach a budding romantic relationship, this meta will focus on the section titled “The Trajectory from Platonic Friendship to Romantic Relationship,” which describes stages of intimacy that are in common between platonic and romantic relationships.

(I am only using this one source for my meta because as much as I love research and argumentative writing, I can only give myself so much more school work before I break. If you wish to see more sources that corroborate the argument from above, refer to the end of this meta at the “Works Cited.”)

According to Guerrero and Mongeau, “...scholars have argued that intimacy is located in different types of interactions, ranging from sexual activity and physical contact to warm, cozy interactions that can occur between friends, family members, and lovers…” Guerrero and Mongeau then reference a relationship model where the initial stages (i.e. perceiving similarities, achieving rapport, and inducing self-disclosure) reflect platonic/romantic intimacy through communication while the latter stages (i.e. role-taking, achieving interpersonal role fit, and achieving dyadic crystallization) often see both individuals as achieving a higher level of intimacy that involves more self-awareness.

Definitions, because some terminology in this quote is field-specific:

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Perception of similarity: (similar in background, values, etc.) which contributes to pair rapport

Pair rapport: produces positive emotional and behavioral responses to the partner, promotes effective communication and instills feelings of self-validation

Self-disclosure: a process of communication by which one person reveals information about themselves to another. The information can be descriptive or evaluative and can include thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, as well as one's likes, dislikes, and favorites.

Role-taking: ability to understand the partner's perspective and empathize with his/her role in the interaction and the relationship

Role-fit: partners assess the extent of their similarities in personality, needs, and roles

Dyadic crystallization: partners become increasingly involved with each other and committed to the relationship and they form an identity as a committed couple

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(Source: Quizlet -- not the most reliable source, I know, but once again field-specific terms tend to be ubiquitous in their definitions, and I doubt that this Quizlet can be that inaccurate)

(Additional note: only the first three definitions will be relevant to this meta, but the other definitions are left in for all of you who want to speculate what the next part of this meta, which may or may not be published the following week, will be about.)

Let’s apply what we just learned back to the real Zuko-Katara relationship we see throughout the show. What attributes of healthy and natural friends-to-lovers dynamics may they check off?

Perceiving similarities:

Zuko and Katara share an astounding number of parallels in background and character throughout the show. Both their mothers had sacrificed their lives to save them, and then there are many deliberate parallels drawn between Zuko and Katara’s confrontations in the Day of Black Sun and The Southern Raiders, respectively. Of course, there are more, but since I do not have much to add to this subject, I’ll say that perceiving these similarities helps contribute to…

Pair rapport:

We see three standout examples of this from the show in which Zuko and Katara “make positive emotional and behavioral responses” towards each other: In the Crossroads of Destiny, the Southern Raiders, and Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

(1) Crossroads of Destiny. Zuko and Katara bond over the loss of their mothers in the Crystal Catacombs, allowing themselves to truly see the other for the first time as well as for them to speak civilly and intimately (is this self-disclosure I see?) with each other. Of course, their conversation (on-screen or off-screen) is meaningful enough for Katara to offer to use the Spirit Oasis water to heal Zuko’s scar.

(2) The Southern Raiders. The journey Zuko and Katara take for her to achieve closure (which is something Zuko himself knew was necessary to heal and grow) is the catalyst for Katara forgiving Zuko. Though there is no true “rapport” in the scene where Katara forgives him, all other banter/conversations (in the Ember Island Players and the ATLA finale) between Katara and Zuko are reliant on the moment she forgives him.

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. In the finale, Zuko experiences a moment of uncertainty before just before he faces his uncle -- his uncle who had always been there for him since the days of his banishment, his uncle had loved him unconditionally even when Zuko did not know that such love was possible, his uncle who loved him like his own son, his uncle who he betrayed in the Crystal Catacombs, his uncle who turned away when he was encased in crystal, too disappointed to look him in the eye. He tells this to Katara -- and what does Katara say to Zuko in response?

“Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

The dialogue speaks for itself. The positive emotional response, the open communication, and the (rightful) encouragement Katara provides, all without invalidating Zuko’s self-doubt, demonstrates the epitome of pair rapport. Further elaboration would simply be me gushing over their dynamic.

Self-disclosure:

Self-disclosure involves revealing intimate feelings. We’re revisiting the same three episodes that we covered up above since they all include self-disclosure.

(1) The Crossroads of Destiny. When he reaches out in the Crystal Catacombs, Zuko reveals something to Katara that he has never told anyone before, perhaps something he didn’t even want to admit to himself -- in response to “the Fire Nation took my mother away from me” he says “that's something we have in common.” And to say that out loud, to say it to himself and Katara when for three whole years he’s been trying to convince himself that the Fire Nation is good and that his father loves him -- there are no words to describe it. It’s both awe-inspiring and heartbreaking to see that Zuko and Katara’s shared pain is what allowed them to see each other as more than the “face of the enemy,” and it’s something so poignant that it forms an immediately profound connection between the two.

(2) The Southern Raiders. On their way to the Fire Nation communications tower on Whale Tail Island, Katara tells the story of her mother’s death, a story that has haunted her memories for years, looming over her as a ghost, a wound that festers into fear to grief to anger. This was the moment that divided Katara’s life into the Before and the After, the one that forced her to abandon childhood and to become a mother to her own brother (as implied by Sokka in his conversation with Toph in the Runaway). And yet this is the first time we see her tell someone her story in the show, full and vivid as if it happened yesterday. Because even though she mentioned her mother before to Aang, Haru, and Jet in order to sympathize with them -- it’s just that. Sympathizing. This time she tells Zuko about her mother’s death for her own sake rather than for another’s. And it’s an incredibly intimate moment, one that is made even more fragile, wrenching, and beautiful by Zuko’s response -- “Your mother was a brave woman.”

(3) Sozin's Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters. Throughout the second half of season 3, Zuko shares his love and insecurities regarding Iroh to every member of the GAang.

In the Firebending Masters, he mentions to Aang offhandedly -- and perhaps too offhandedly, as if he didn’t want to believe it himself -- that Iroh, Dragon of the West, received his honorary title for killing the last dragon.

An episode later in part one of the Boiling Rock, Zuko talks about his uncle with near constancy. He brews tea for the GAang and (endearingly) tries retelling “Uncle’s favorite tea joke.” He tells Sokka, “Hey, hold on. Not everyone in my family is like that… I meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me. And I really let him down.” He (fails at, adorably) giving advice to Sokka when the rescue mission to the Boiling Rock has begun to look helpless, asking himself “what would Uncle say?” before completely floundering away.

Then, in the Ember Island Players, he shares a sweet moment with Toph, bitterly spitting out that

“...for me, [the play] takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

Toph, in turn, reveals the thoughtful side to her character, the side that is almost always hidden, telling Zuko that “you have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.”

And every one of these moments matter, because we see Zuko’s inner conflict (though this inner conflict does not exist to the extent at which it did at the first half of season 3) and its evolution. First, with Aang, he remains skeptical and disillusioned. Second, with Sokka, his longing for Iroh’s love and presence manifests itself in him imitating his uncle as well as he can. Third, with Toph, he finally admits everything he had been afraid of ever since he saw Iroh’s empty prison cell during the eclipse -- that Iroh is disappointed in him. That Iroh hates him. That Iroh will never accept him again.

And for a moment, with Toph’s encouraging response and Zuko’s resulting little smile, it appears as though Zuko’s internal conflict arc is concluded. But we are wrong -- because in the finale of the show, we are given the true climax and resolution to Zuko’s insecurities, fears, and self-loathing. And who is it that he shares this moment with?

It speaks volumes about Zuko and Katara’s relationship that Katara is the one to comfort Zuko in this scene, in that last moment of hesitation right before he steps inside his uncle’s tent, preparing himself to see his uncle as a completely changed person. As a person who now knows humility and unconditional love. And remember -- selecting Katara to be in this scene is a deliberate narrative choice because ATLA was written by a team of producers and writers, and perhaps even if it wasn’t, it becomes a powerful moment in which Zuko’s arc with Iroh reaches its peak.

Simply having Katara there in this scene already has such a great narrative impact, but then the show gives us some of the most intimate dialogue that Zuko, a naturally closed-off person, delivers (although his emotional outbursts may suggest otherwise, Zuko tends to hide most of his internally conflicting feelings to himself. Hence, he is always able to dramatically monologue about his honor, his country, and his throne -- because he’s trying to convince himself to play a part. But that’s another meta for another day).

Let’s begin by comparing Toph and Zuko’s dialogue with Katara and Zuko’s dialogue because both see the other party validating Zuko’s feelings.

(Warning: the following section plunges deep into the realm of speculation and overanalyzing dialogue. Regarding literature or any media, there are countless ways to interpret the source material, and this is simply one way it could be done.)

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Ember Island Players Dialogue:

Toph: Geez, everyone's getting so upset about their characters. Even you seem more down than usual, and that's saying something!

Zuko: You don't get it, it's different for you. You get a muscly version of yourself, taking down ten bad guys at once, and making sassy remarks.

Toph: Yeah, that's pretty great!

Zuko: But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.

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Although Toph and Zuko’s dynamic is one of the most innocent and understanding throughout the show, the conversation begins with Toph joking with a negative connotation -- that “even [Zuko seemed] more down than usual, and that’s saying something!” Thus, the conversation opener is not one that allows for Zuko to easily be emotionally vulnerable, and so he responds bitterly and angrily -- “You don’t get it, it’s different for you” and “...and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back.” By stating that their portrayals in the shows were different, Zuko mentally places a wall between himself and Toph, saying that “[Toph doesn’t] get it.” Then, the rhetorical question Zuko asks himself and the shortness with which he answers the question showcases a forceful and biting tone, indicating that he is covering up his inner turmoil with vehemence. This tendency is something we’ve seen Zuko default to before, whenever he had shouted the oft-mocked “I must restore my honor!” lines in response to a few introspective questions Iroh had asked (though once again, that’s another meta for another day). Now, let’s examine the remainder of their conversation.

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Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: You have redeemed yourself to your uncle. You don't realize it, but you already have.

Zuko: How do you know?

Toph: Because I once had a long conversation with the guy, and all he would talk about was you.

Zuko: Really?

Toph: Yeah, and it was kind of annoying.

Zuko: Oh, sorry.

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Here we see Toph and Zuko’s conversation take a more serious turn as Toph becomes more sincere. Zuko, however, is still full of self-doubt as he is constantly questioning Toph with “how do you know?” and “really” and “oh, sorry.”

(featured up above: Zuko looking dejected and doubtful.)

Still, the conversation ends on a sweet and inspiring note:

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Ember Island Players Dialogue Continued:

Toph: But it was also very sweet. All your uncle wanted was for you to find your own path, and see the light. Now you're here with us. He'd be proud.

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Hence, though Zuko and Toph’s conversation displays a heartening and hopeful dynamic, Zuko is ultimately still guarded for the majority of their conversation. Now, let’s look at how Katara approaches Zuko in the Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters.

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Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: The Old Masters Dialogue:

Katara: Are you okay?

Zuko: No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?

Katara: Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?

Zuko: More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.

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In direct contrast to the conversation opener with Toph, Katara begins to engage Zuko with an openly concerned question. And even though Katara never disappointed an Iroh-figure in her life in the way Zuko has, Zuko immediately doesn’t close himself off from her, he doesn’t create a wall that prevents him from revealing his deepest fears to her. During this scene, he neither sounds bitter or angry -- he sounds lost, doubtful, and afraid (perhaps even afraid to hope). This shift in tone is blatant in his voice (thanks to Dante Basco’s line delivery) but even with nothing but the written dialogue, we can note the difference in which he describes his turmoil to Toph and as compared to Katara:

With Toph: “But for me, it takes all the mistakes I've made in my life, and shoves them back in my face. My uncle, he's always been on my side, even when things were bad. He was there for me, he taught me so much, and how do I repay him? With a knife in his back. It's my greatest regret, and I may never get to redeem myself.”

With Katara: “No, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it. He loved and supported me in every way he could, and I still turned against him. How can I even face him?”

With Katara, the underlying bitterness from his conversation with Toph is toned down to the point of nonexistence, though a part of it is still there. With Toph, Zuko says, “it takes all the mistakes I’ve made in my life, and shoves them back in my face,” which is a rather incensed statement. Meanwhile, by saying, “no, I'm not okay. My uncle hates me, I know it,” Zuko directly addresses his self-loathing without the use of language such as “shoves them back in my face,” the latter of which is reminiscent of how individuals may unthinkingly reveal information in a sudden emotional outburst.

Then, when Katara asks him if he’s sorry for what he did, the words come easily to Zuko, the most easily he admits to his own mistakes after three years of not admitting anything truthful to himself: “More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life.”

And Katara, just as Toph did, says with the utmost confidence and sincerity, “Then he'll forgive you. He will.”

This moment of affirmation that runs parallel between both dialogues is where Zuko’s responses begin to diverge. Whereas Zuko reacts to Toph with disbelief and doubt, this is how he reacts once he hears Katara’s words:

He takes Katara’s words to heart and accepts them. Because out of all the GAang, Katara is the one who knows the most about forgiving him, who most keenly feels the change he underwent since his betrayal in the catacombs. And so he stands, still nervous but no longer afraid, facing forward towards the future instead of back into his past.

Iroh and Zuko’s relationship is one of the most important ones throughout the entire show, so to see Katara play a pivotal role in a critical point in their dynamic shows just how important Katara’s character is to Zuko (and vice versa, though in here I do touch upon the former in more detail).

Although my analysis on the self-disclosure between Zuko and Katara may have run away from me a bit (due to my love for far-too-in-depth critical analysis), these all show an undeniable bond between Zuko and Katara, displaying a profound friendship rooted in narrative parallels, mutual understanding, and interwoven character arcs. Ultimately, their fulfillment of perceived similarities, pair rapport, and (the one I rambled most on) self-disclosure is what establishes Zuko and Katara as not just a strong platonic bond -- but one that has the potential to transition into a romantic one.

Thus concludes my essay on Zutara’s friendship and its connection with the initial stages of intimacy that are shared between both platonic and romantic bonds. After all that analysis, it would be remiss to simply dismiss the Zutara dynamic as one that would instantly become toxic should they pursue a romantic relationship.

That being said, I will explore the possibility of a romantic relationship between Zuko and Katara and how this connects to the latter stages of intimacy -- role-taking, interpersonal role fit, and dyadic crystallization -- in part 2 of this meta-analysis. Click on the link if you want to read it!

Part 2

Works Cited

(only partially in MLA 8 format because I want to live a little)

Close Relationships: A Sourcebook. By Clyde A. Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick. Link

“Nonverbal behavior in intimate interactions and intimate relationships.” By P.A Andersen, Laura K. Guerrero, & Susanne M. Jones. Link

“On Becoming ‘More Than Friends’: The Transition From Friendship to Romantic Relationship.” By Laura K. Guerrero & Paul A. Mongeau. Link

The Psychology of Intimacy (The Guilford Series on Personal Relationships). By Karen J. Prager. Link

(If you check some of these links, you may note a few of these sources have been cited quite a few times. With just a bit more research, it appears possible to find a plethora of other sources to corroborate the theory of shared platonic-romantic intimacies.)

Thank you all for reading!

#atla #atla meta #zutara #zutara meta #my bated breath analyzes #research on relationship intimacy #influenced by academic writing #i have more metas coming soon #but until then you can find that i do other writing as well #like fanfiction #check out my fanfiction on the My Writing tab on my blog #please like and reblog to prove Zutara with Facts and Evidence everyone #my bated breath's posts

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cruelfeline · 4 years ago

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Anyone who hangs about Twitter potentially saw an unfortunate Hordak take cross their timelines today.

As is custom on this blog, I’ll be taking it apart for my own personal amusement (and for the amusement of any of y’all who like to watch me do so). I doubt the poster will see this, as they’re on Twitter and not apparently on here, but in case they do: this is for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of followers; it absolutely does not need to be responded to if that’s not your cup of tea.

So, that little disclaimer in place, let’s see what we can make of this! Because this is on Medium, I’ll be using screenshots as quotes; just a heads-up.

So... this first bit isn’t really anything Hordak-related. It’s more... fandom drama, I suppose? Not really something I can pick apart. I can, however, give my own personal opinion on this sort of thing, for what it’s worth.

It’s true that people can and should be able to feel whichever way they wish about a character. And to talk about that character.

However: it is also true that people who dislike Hordak can be very unpleasant in making that known to those of us who enjoy him. Including descending into personal insults for no discernible reason. Add to that the fact that his character means a great deal to some fans for intensely personal reasons, and it is not difficult to see why some fans aren’t keen to see anti-Hordak content on their timelines, in their mentions, etc.

Censoring character hate isn’t a requirement, but in some circumstances, it can simply be a polite thing to do. It doesn’t take great effort, and it prevents people from experiencing just another bit of unpleasantness on their social media. And if you don’t want to do it? Well, that’s your right; but don’t be shocked when people voice their displeasure by replying to your words. Because that is their right.

And that’s all I really have to say about that.

Odd way to phrase things, really. These aren’t “reasons to forgive.” The first two scenes involve Catra’s asphyxiations and are things that would need to be forgiven, not things to forgive.

Though, y’know, I really only apply that to the first scene, where he assaults her without her necessarily doing anything wrong. Mind you, I believe he does it out of a combination of needing to maintain a hierarchy for safety purposes (this is a man who needs people to be afraid of him to maintain his own safety) and poor leadership skills mimicked from a narcissist, but it’s still a terrible thing.

However! The second time? After he asks her about Shadow Weaver? This isn’t torture-fun-times. This is Hordak neutralizing a threat to the entire Horde. Because that is what Catra is in this moment: a threat to the security and wellbeing of him and the entirety of the Fright Zone. She lies about a critical mistake. She proves herself to not only have poor judgment in serious matters, but to be very willing to lie about it in order to guard her own selfish motives. While I can’t condone the method Hordak uses, I do wish people would stop using this second instance of punishment as some sort of proof-of-torture. He does not do this for no reason. He does it because Catra released a dangerous prisoner into the wild and lied about it. And his concerns over it ultimately prove correct.

This entire qualification doesn’t have much to do with whether he deserves forgiveness or not, but it’s a point I want to make because it combats this idea that Hordak did this to an innocent girl “for no reason” or “just to be cruel.” That’s simply not the case; no matter how unpleasant the method, Hordak is a military leader punishing a subordinate for seriously endangering him and everyone else in the organization. Badly. I don’t know what the equivalent would be in modern military, but Catra’s error is massive. It doesn’t make what Hordak does right, but it does give a reason other than a simple “he’s a bad, bad man.” So.

Adding this scene is... actually kind of odd because he doesn’t really do anything to Adora here. And also: this scene is... what’s the word... meaningful-in-hindsight, so to speak. Essentially: in this scene, Adora is claiming that Hordak is responsible for stealing her, for robbing her of a peaceful life with her family. And Hordak is claiming that he neither knows nor cares who she is, and that she does not matter to him.

The interesting aspect of this scene, and something that OP fails to acknowledge at all, is that both Adora and Hordak are wrong.

let’s see if I can talk about this without crying... nope, already starting to tear up

Hordak never stole Adora; Light Hope did. Hordak did not orchestrate this unfortunate life for her. Rather, Hordak, a lost clone dealing with his own insecurities and fears and problems, found an equally lost infant in a field and gave her the only home he really knew how to create (and one that, for its flaws, was still better than the absolute nightmare he was “raised” in). In all likelihood, given Light Hope’s lack of understanding of infants, he probably saved Adora’s life by doing this: without him, she may well have perished alone in that field.

Hordak likewise does remember her, eventually. And she is not inconsequential to him: by saving her, he ends up saving himself, and all of his brothers. By forging this near-unknown bond with her all those years ago, by choosing to take in an infant rather than letting her die, he plays a key role in deciding the fate of the universe.

This scene that OP sarcastically claims is a reason Hordak shouldn’t be forgiven has a sibling:

The fact that OP apparently fails to recognize this and realize that these are the only two moments in the series during which Adora and Hordak directly interact, that they’re a pair, means that OP misses the connection between the two and the significance of how they misjudge one another initially. It indicates a lack of understanding of the themes of the show: themes centered around connections with other people, love, and forgiveness. Which, given the contents of this essay, is unsurprising.

Moving on!

Y’know, whether or not one believes, in terms of definition, that Hordak is a colonizer (I personally don’t for pedantic and clone-cult reasons, but that’s not really relevant to this post), it’s interesting that OP notes how Stevenson confirms that he is... but conveniently leaves out the part where she confirms that he did it because he was brainwashed.

That’s... an important piece of information to leave out when discussing whether Hordak should be forgiven or not. A very important piece.

And it doesn’t really matter whether he’s a colonizer or a conqueror; the reason it comes up is because people seem very stuck in the mindset of “if it’s a colonizer, it must die” without acknowledging any sort of nuance. There’s also the question of whether what Hordak did actually caused the same sort of upheaval and lasting damage we see resulting from legitimate colonization, and all of the implications of that, but this isn’t really the place to go into that. Honestly, I don’t really think SPoP as a whole is the place to go into that.

No. Hordak is not the person who taught her all of these things.

Shadow Weaver is.

Hordak did not personally teach her that Princesses are evil. He did not teach her that wanton cruelty is fine in getting one’s own way. He did not feed her propaganda.

Actually, as an aside: can we even confirm that Catra ever thought that Princesses where evil? I mean... she works with Scorpia, and she has no apparent morals to speak of. She does as she wishes for her own personal gain, not because she displays any sense of “fighting the evil Princesses.” And in terms of disposing of Entrapta because she was “manipulated” into viewing Princesses as evil: Catra disposes of everyone. She manipulates and uses everyone. That is one of the key aspects of her arc: she uses and abuses people for personal gain. She does this whether they are Princesses or not: just see Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle. Add to this the fact that Catra, from the first season, knows that she and Adora have been lied to, manipulated, and that the Horde is in fact evil, and... this entire line of reasoning falls apart.

None of this is an attempt to “absolve Hordak of blame.” Hordak just... legitimately had no hand in raising any of the children. That was not his role (and while I know that this was confirmed by Stevenson at some point, I don’t have memory of where; potentially the last podcast?). And Catra did not operate on any sort of propaganda that she actually believed in: she simply used and disposed of people as she saw fit because she cared more about her own rise to power than she did about those around her. This was one of her major character flaws, and really? Trying to pin this on Hordak, or even fully pin it on Shadow Weaver? It absolves Catra of the blame, of the intentional bad choices she made (as emphasized by Adora) and thus weakens her entire arc.

All in all: Hordak may have created a poor environment for the raising of children, but of note is the fact that only Catra turns out this way. The other kids, whatever their problems, are not in the habit of manipulating friends, lying to them, using them, and then tossing them aside. That is a Catra Problem. Part of this can be attributed to Shadow Weaver (who only treated Catra in the poorest way), and part of it is just... Catra being not-the-best.

All right. Now we get to the really disingenuous portion of the essay.

First, as just stated: Hordak is not Catra’s abuser. Shadow Weaver is. Hordak had no hand in raising her. Hordak did not direct Shadow Weaver to abuse her. Hordak did not personally feed Catra anti-Princess propaganda, and even if he had, we know by the first season that Catra sees through whatever propaganda she was exposed to and has no actual moral objections to Princesses. But that’s not the main aspect of this portion that irks me.

The main aspect that irks me is that this is not the scene Hordak stans mark as abusive. And I cannot imagine that OP does not know this.

But let’s talk about this scene, for a moment, before getting to the actual, legitimate abuse.

OP talks about his scene almost flippantly: “Hordak finds out Catra lied about Entrapta, he becomes angry and attacks her with a clear plan to kill her.”

Yes. Yes, he "becomes angry.” He becomes angry and attacks because as far as he knows, Catra killed Entrapta. This isn’t some annoyed “you lied to me!” moment. He legitimately thinks Entrapta is dead because Catra sent her to Beast Island. OP just blissfully glosses over the fact that Hordak is attacking Catra in rage and grief because Catra, as far as either of them know, killed his only friend and then lied about it for approximately a year. Like... how do you gloss over that in discussing this scene? How do you gloss over the enormity of what Catra did, and the unimaginable pain Hordak experiences when finding out?

So. The writeup of this scene is poor. It misses all of the emotion, all of the reality of what Catra did and what Hordak felt. But! That’s not even the unfortunate part of this portion. Let’s get to the real disingenuity.

This is the abusive scene. This is that stomach-turning moment when Catra removes a disabled man’s ability to move with dignity and without pain solely to force him to escalate a war for her own personal benefit.

Hordak is not a danger to her here. Hordak has not been a danger to her for a while because he has been holed up in his private quarters, trying to deal with the emotional fallout of Entrapta supposedly betraying him. He wants nothing to do with Catra. He wants to lick his wounds and gather himself and somehow heal from this deep personal pain that’s been inflicted upon him.

And that’s a problem for Catra because it stands in the way of her using the war as a way to best Adora.

So Catra identifies Hordak’s physical weakness and exploits it for the purpose of spiting her ex.

The fact that OP completely fails to acknowledge any of this is... well. Disingenuous. Absolutely so.

The next portion of the essay talks about people feeling that Catra was too easily forgiven and isn’t really Hordak-centric; I won’t really go into it here. Moving forward:

Ah, one of the most annoying questions I see asked. Let’s, again, acknowledge and move past the fact that Hordak was not actually Catra’s abuser...

When, pray tell, was Hordak supposed to show this remorse? When? While he was serving on Prime’s ship, trying to forget the pain of losing Entrapta, of failing to prove himself, of losing everything? Should he have done it while screaming in agony in the purification pool? Should he have done so while alone on Prime’s ship, trying to serve quietly while piecing together his memories?

Not only was Hordak simply not in a position, narratively, to go into a whole remorse bit, but he had other problems. Like, life-endangering problems.

The appropriate time to go into his feelings on Etheria and the Princesses and All of That would have been after Prime’s defeat, upon Hordak’s re-introduction to Etheria... but then the show ended. So.

Agh, vulgar. Taking a brainwashed, conditioned slave and bastardizing his triumph at finally seeing himself as a real person, instead claiming that his intent was to glorify his own misdeeds. No. Just... no.

Again: this is not the time for guilt. And it is a demonstration of why guilt and remorse were not front-and-center in Hordak’s arc during season five: his arc was about finally realizing that he was his own person, a person worthy of identity and love and care and freedom. And this arc culminated in him separating himself from his abuser and declaring his personhood.

That is what this scene is: not Hordak reveling in his makeshift empire, or in the terrible deeds he’d committed, but in declaring himself his own person.

I should hope that he is proud of doing that. I’m proud of him for doing that daunting feat, of defeating his abuser and defying his god and recognizing that he is worthy of more than what Prime thought of him. And I recognize Entrapta’s role in it: not as the sole inspiration for his change, but as someone who showed him a foundation of love and acceptance, someone who introduced him to the idea that he was worthy of care and happiness and affection simply because he was a living being, no strings attached.

Trying to shoehorn in some sort of claim that this is about pride in his misdeeds, rather than joy at finally accepting his own sense of self is a massive misinterpretation of this scene, a misunderstanding of Entrapta’s role in Hordak’s arc, and... can I say it’s disingenuous again? Because I’m going to: it’s disingenuous.

All right; we’re at the end. And while the first sentence here is something I absolutely agree with - the decision to forgive Hordak is personal and subjective both for viewers and for in-show characters - the whole conclusion falls apart from there.

It highlights another glaring omission from OP’s arguments: the fact that Hordak is a brainwashed clone slave.

Hordak did not choose to “spend his life trying to prove his worth to Horde Prime.” He did not choose the method of said proving: that Prime would look kindly upon conquering rather than some other task. And he did not choose to have certain concepts and ideas (all beings must suffer to become pure; all creatures, no matter how small, have a place in service of Horde Prime; failure is when something ceases to serve a purpose) conditioned into him.

Hordak was manufactured as a cultist slave. He was “born” with hardware implanted into his body against his will to better control him. He was indoctrinated and brainwashed to the point that he believed that Horde Prime was his literal god - and in a way, Prime was, because he could mentally invade and possess and physically control the clones whenever he wished.

Hordak was not allowed to have a sense of self. He was not allowed to have a name. He was not allowed to express emotions. He was not allowed to live without that life serving to glorify Horde Prime. Hordak was so absolutely sick with this mentality that he saw himself as a failure due to physical disability and assumed it was his responsibility to fix that.

The idea that Hordak simply chose to do what he did, that he had the same foundational morality and mindset as any “normal” person might, shows a glaring lack of understanding even the basics of his narrative.

Yes: Hordak did bad things. But he did them for legitimately tragic, nigh-horrifying reasons that this essay just ignores for the sake of... I don’t know? Trying to justify OP’s distaste for the character? I am uncertain. But it’s a mark of a poor essay, of a poor understanding of the character, and is honestly just disappointing to read when the show itself tries so hard to drive home its wonderful, hopeful themes through Hordak’s story.

Whether one forgives Hordak or not is one’s personal choice, but I certainly hope one makes said choice with better insight into his character than this essay provides.

#discourse #hordak #I wonder if I come off as too sassy in this but honestly this essay was a chore to read #so much was just ignored or misinterpreted #it was like a willful misrepresention of Hordak's character and I did not like it

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ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult · 4 years ago

Text

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one.

For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words.

Someone to have fun with.

No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

Someone to watch Netflix with.

Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything.

Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE.

The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out.

Serial killer much?

“That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

“What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

“Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

“I’m busy,” I’d defended.

“Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

“Am not!”

“You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

“Did you see him in that suit?”

Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

“That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.”

That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests.

Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself.

I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created.

Ding!

I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain?

“Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone.

Tyler wants to chat!

I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request.

Whoosh.

My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

Seconds later, my phone dinged.

Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right?

But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly?

Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

Tyler: Hi?

Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

Y/N: U a fan?

Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all.

Tyler: I give up, you’re really good.

Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say.

Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me.

Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

Tyler: I guessed that!

Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

Tyler: C’mon, barely.

For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him.

On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

“...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed.

Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.”

Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.”

“Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

“Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

“But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

“It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

“Yup!” I agreed.

“Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me.

We all greeted her.

“Have a good weekend?” Rue asked.

“Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---”

Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers.

“Fine,” Jules said.

Rue shrugged in response.

I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket.

Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text?

I smiled.

“You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath.

“Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.”

Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me.

“Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.”

“It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them.

I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other.

“Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

“Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

“It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books.

As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

“Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

“We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted.

“Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

“Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.”

I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?”

As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

“I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

“Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered.

“Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms.

She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

“You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

“Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked.

“No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

“Nice,” Jules said.

“And scary accurate,” Cassie added.

Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.”

Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

“Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

“Sorry, I was----”

“Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?”

“Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said.

“Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued.

“Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

“Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

“I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

“Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered.

“I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted.

It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

“WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened.

“Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria.

“DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped.

“Maddy---”

“ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked.

Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

“Maddy, we need to talk.”

“Don’t talk to me again.”

Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps.

“I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night.

Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think.

Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

Tyler: How do u know?

Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that.

Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad.

Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much?

Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt?

A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

“Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection.

“Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed.

Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?” “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

“He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

“Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

“Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

“Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

“We can?” Rue asked.

“We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed.

“It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

“Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

I nodded.

“She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.”

After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school.

The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

“Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him.

“No, not really,” I said.

I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline.

“Get in,” Nate ordered.

I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?”

“I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

“We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated.

“We can talk during the drive.”

I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly.

I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“How do you know where I live?” I asked.

“You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

“When?”

“After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

“Oh, thanks?”

“Sure.”

We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag.

“Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

“Yeah, see you around, Y/N.”

I closed the door and headed inside.

“I’m home!” I called.

My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?”

“Fine.”

“Was that Nate Jacobs outside?”

I hesitated.

How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like? “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.”

“Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”

I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

“Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

“What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired.

“Don’t you hate him?”

“He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

“Did Maddy see?”

“Do you think she’s gonna kill you?”

“Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted.

They both nodded.

“But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

“Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.”

Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

“You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

“Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

“Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

“No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

“And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

“Okay.” After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

“Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered.

“Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures.

She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

“Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.”

I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.”

Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

“No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

“No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued.

“I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.”

After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

“Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

“Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

“Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

“I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.”

Jules shrugged.

I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger?

“What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.”

“I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud.

“How do you see him now?” Lexi asked.

I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.”

“Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand.

Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?”

“No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

“Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?”

“I really, really, really, like him.”

“Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

“Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

“Okay.”

If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person?

I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him.

Y/N: That did not happen! Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

Almost.

My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

“Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

Y/N: When and where?

“You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.” “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout.

“Sure,” I said.

Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.”

“Thanks?”

“Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

“No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.”

“Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said.

“You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

“That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

“Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

“You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail.

When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out.

“Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

“I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room.

“Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

“I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

“It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?”

Rue nodded and sniffled.

It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

“Tell me everything later!�� she insisted.

Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework.

Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right.

When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

“This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented.

“I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me.

“What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse.

Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now.

“Just let me explain,” he requested softly.

He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

“I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?”

“No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.”

“I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!”

“I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head.

“No,” I hiccuped.

“I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

I sniffed. “Us?”

At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece.

“Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified.

“Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out.

And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could.

“Nate...stop!”

But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

“I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

“So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it.

Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.”

“What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!”

“Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.”

“Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel.

“Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.”

My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!”

Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?”

I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“Like I said, just be available when I need you.”

“Fine.”

“Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.”

I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won.

I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry.

How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue.

Y/N: U were right.

#euphoria imagine #nate jacobs imagine

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esther-dot · 4 years ago

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"We should be happy that Arya understands herself at such a young age. It baffles me that her fans want to insist that no, she actually wants the same stuff Sansa does..." This is what gets me. Arya point blank states in Book 1 what she wants and what she doesn't want. Now their argument is "She is 9, she may change her mind." She might, if she were a real person. But she is a character written by someone else. And if the author specifically says he based the character on the type of women he knew irl, the kind of women who never wanted to marry and have kids, that's a pretty good indication where this character is going. I also find it insulting that they are so gung-ho about this, as if they tie all of Arya's value (especially her value as a woman) her being married with kids at the end. (As someone who, like Arya at a young age, decided to never marry and have kids and in her 30s still stand by that decision, it's extremely amusing -and offensive but oh well- to me that they think Arya needs to end up Gendry/Jon and pop out as many kids as possible for her arc to be meaningful, for her life to be complete. They see it as the final and most valued reward for her suffering, I guess, even if she doesn't want it.) But there is also the fact that unlike them, Arya is aware of what being a mother and a wife means in Westeros. She can't have it all. She can't be a wife, a mother, a Lady and be free, not really. She can't be independent, go on adventures, live her life as she wishes to, associate and befriend the people she'd like to, avoid others she doesn't like. Especially if she is going to be Arya Stark. That'll come with its own responsibilities. She has to make a choice. (And again this is a choice I understand, b/c while it's not as stifling as Westeros, my country and culture is very much traditional, they may let you be a single adult woman *while side-eying your choice* but you can't be a wife and a mother and an independent working woman at the same time. Society, your family and friends will expect you to make a choice, even the laws will force your hand as there are little to none help for working moms but all sorts of incentives for those who uphold "family values".) So even if what they envision for Arya could work for Modern AUs, it doesn't work in Westeros, it's simply unfeasible for canon. I guess I really don't understand that section of Arya stans. Why they are trying to mold her into someone she isn't and doesn't want to be? It's as ridiculous as it would be if we were to insist Sansa will learn sword-fighting, she'll defeat Lannisters/Boltons/Others/Littlefinger/Dny&her dragons on the battlefield, she'll never want to marry or have kids, she would prefer if she spent her life traveling free from societal restrictions instead of settling in canon etc. It's just so weird.

(continuation of this convo)

I don’t have much to add because you said it all! What you’re talking about is almost exactly what Martin mentioned in the quote I referenced:

Q: Was there anyone in your life who might’ve served as an inspiration for Arya? A: I can’t say there’s any one specific model, but a lot of the women I’ve known over the years have had aspects of Arya with them. Especially some of the women I knew when I was a young man back in the ’60s and ’70s, you know — the decade of the sexual revolution and the feminist movement. I knew a lot of young women who weren’t buying into the, “Oh, I have to find a husband and be a housewife.”

That’s certainly part of Arya’s thing. There’s that scene where Ned is telling her, “Well, one day you’ll grow up and you’ll marry a great lord and you’ll be the lady of the castle.” And she says, “No, I won’t. I don’t want that. That’s Sansa, that’s not me.” I knew women who were saying things like that: “I don’t wanna be Mrs. Smith, I wanna be my own person.” (link)

Martin is talking about how society is demanding something of Arya that she has no intention of bending to in contrast to Sansa:

Sansa completely bought into that, loved everything about that. She dreamed of jousts, bards singing of her beauty, fair knights, being the mistress of a castle and perhaps a princess and queen. The whole romantic thing.

And then to have Arya, a girl who did not fit that — and who, from the very beginning, was uncomfortable and chafes at the roles that she was being pushed into.

Of course, Arya is young, will still be young at the end of the books, so in her future, in an epilogue or in our imaginations, it’s easy to assume there will be lovers/partners. In all honesty, I did think that Martin was laying groundwork for something between her and Gendry in the future, but even so, the idea that she would suddenly conform, settle down and be what she so vehemently rejected, it feels like a cruel joke for someone like her. Why would we want her to essentially say, “Oh, I was wrong. Society was right all along. This is what all women should be.” What a gross sentiment. I assume that that is not the exact thought process of her stans who wish her to settle down, but the idea as presented in canon is that being a lady has demands. That role would require Arya to be stifled, folded in on herself, and I would never wish that on her. I can’t reconcile loving Arya and also wanting her to just...give in. That idea makes me incredibly sad. The same kind of sad as Sansa never experiencing romantic love. I want both girls to be emotionally fulfilled and that means entirely different things for each of them imo.

#ask dot

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

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I'm curious what you think the worst shipping dynamic is? And the reasoning behind it if you have any.

Thank you so much!!!

haha I do have several of those actually. I’ll include both what I think are the worst dynamics and the kind of ships that “I just don’t get why would you ship smth like that”.

1. What I actually call “a mom and a manchild”.

examples: Hatori/Chiaki from “Sekaichi Hatsukoi”, Ikuya/Hiyori.

I guess, technically there’s nothing wrong with this, if they both enjoy being this way, but firstly I just hate adults behaving like infants and I don’t think encouraging such behavior can lead to anything good, and secondly watching this just makes me uncomfortable for many reasons. And moments like when Hyori came up to Ikuya when he talked to Haru and was like “it’s too late and you can’t talk to this man, time to go home” and Ikuya went I just cracked up at this. Also when one part is basically changes the other’s part diapers, but in return gets tantrums or basically nothing or “but I wanna play with someone else tho”, it’s just a kink I do not get, like why would you want to be treated like this is beyond me.

But then I also generally dislike infantile characters, and I can’t ship smth if I don’t like both parties, so maybe bc of this. I always like the mature characters. Like even when I do know in theory that a 13 year old in reality can’t behave like Todoroki, I’m still like, I don’t fucking care, that’s the one I like xD But when 20 years old Ikuya behaves like this, I just do not appreciate it, I guess.

2. “I don’t have an identity, my identity is you or what you want me to be” category, including “my dignity flew out of the window” ones and “I just do what you do”. (I CANNOT HANDLE THIS DYNAMIC, YOU KNOW I CAN’T!!!!!!! I DO NOT WHY, BUT IT’S JUST PISSING ME OFF THE MOST OF ALL PROBABLY)

examples: Eren/Mikasa, Haru/Makoto, Natsusa/Sei from “Number24″.

Sports animes do that a lot. “The only reason I played rugby is because you played it” is a major cringe. And no, it’s not romantic. Romantic is like when you’re both passionate about this and doing this sports together makes it even better/more meaningful, that I get. Not, “I only went there bc you like it” and I’ll have what you have, I’ll do what you do. Like.. huh? You firstly a person, as in fully formed one pls, you can’t exist as someone’s trail.

Those ships always contain this one person (like Mikasa, Makoto), who are just the accessory of the other character. Mikasa’s problem is not the ackerbond, it’s her life position, she herself chosen to be Eren’s doormat. And some also find this romantic, I think, but I just hate such things. Also the truth of life: if you don’t respect yourself, your crush won’t respect you either. Just saying.

Makoto, I sincerely think, if Kisumi would be his neighbour instead of Haru, he’d be playing basketball at school lmao. Like SD has so many of absolutely terrible scenes, where Makoto just for real turns to Haru and goes “do you think I should go to the basketball club if we’re not swimming?” like dude, I’m... he’s like a walking definition of “meh” if there ever existed one. How can you do not care what you do? Like at all. This is beyond me. That’s sad. Watching him makes me sad.

I just need both characters in a ship be you know THEM, fantastic on their own, then when they’re together they become an absolutely explosive magic. It’s just a true fact.

Also there is one ship who is not quite this category, but kinda touches this theme. Ciel and Lizzy from “Kuroshitsuji”, ike the original Ciel, for whom she wanted to pretend to be a dumb damsel in distress for the rest of her life. Like fucking seriously????? You’d live like this????!!!! Fucking hell, you must really don’t love yourself like at all.

3. Humiliation isn’t my kink.

examples: Dazai/Akutagawa, Midoriya/Bakugou.

Akutagawa and Midoriya are badass motherfuckers and also wonderful human beings on their own. When they encounter Dazai and Bakugou they become sheeps. I hate seeing them like that, that’s basically it. Also humiliation is really not my kink. The whole “treat him like crap” thing. Like some things they did to them is just.. my god, I don’t like it.

Like when Dazai asked Atsushi to throw the phone moment, I literally flinched so hard watching it, I can’t even explain this feeling between the dejection and utter disgust at the fact that Dazai did it, that I felt watching it, but I fucking hated it.

4. Those who bring out the worst in each other or don’t bring out anything in each other.

All my ships literally all with no exceptions make each other the best versions of themselves, push/challenge each other to become better/brighter/happier, etc., or add to each other that piece the other was missing.

If someone makes someone feel depressed, miserable or even just simply stuck in a rut, that’s probably not it. There are some ships who just simply can’t make each other happy or even make each other unhappy and that’s a fact.

5. Ships with no development or development so tiny that you need 120 episodes and an magnifying glass to see it.

examples: I’d say, but I just don’t want those 10 year olds in my ask box again.

Hate this for obvious reasons. Because as wise ppl say “only fools don’t grow” or "if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living."

6. Those who are like brothers to each other and said so and don’t emmit any and I mean ANY sexual vibes or attraction in that kind of way towards each other.

examples: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley (like THE FUCK seriously), Stiles/Scott from “Teen Wolf”, Keith/Shiro.

I just cannot imagine them being romantically involved, I literally can’t. And I don’t get it. It’s like they even say “you’re my brother” thing, but also they just do not give off any couply feels and imagining this kinda make me cringe a bit, cause I have two sisters I’m very close with and their relationship remind me of our relationships so just.. no.

7. They are not each others priority. Meaning both putting someone else or something else before them.

If they don’t put each other first, I most likely probably don’t want it.

My jam is like Stucky and when they say to Steve “you do this, captain, and the whole world would think of you as a criminal” and Steve being like “fuck you, take your shield, take your idiotic hero rules, I don’t care, he matters to me more than your whole dumbass world”.

My jam is Lan Zhan who went against the whole world and a horde of stupid donkeys and fought for his baby till the end. He really didn’t care if he’d lose everything and what would other ppl think, if it meant that Wei Wuxian will be with him.

On the other hand, we have Jin Guangyao, who had Lan Xichen, but he wanted power and idiots’ love more, so he chose what he chose. Do not get this ship, like no, thanks.

As for putting specific someone else first. Rin/Sousuke, for example. I in general do not get it, but also like there are like 10 moments in the anime like in Yakusoku when Rin forgot about him, when he saw Haru during the tournament and an actual quote “Sousuke looked at Rin, who will always put Haru first”. So like... I do not get it. If you see them as a couple this is technically no good no for Sousuke, no for Rin.

8. Obviously straight ones, but “hey, I need them gay”.

I in fact just do not believe in a “straight ppl do not exist” thing. As I’ve said before there are exceptions where some characters give off the clear bi vibe, but those are pretty rare tbh. And even more rare canonically proven ones like Kanda from D.Gray-man, for example.

The moment they show some character in anime drool over some girls he doesn’t even know, but he don’t react to any of the guys like this, this just means he’s most likely heterosexual. Cause only straight guys drool only specifically after seeing random boobs. So this thing always throws me off in some ships.

99% of my ships are either canonically gay or most likely gay, but author doesn’t want to label it.

There are just lots of animes where main character/s have shown no interest in an opposite gender whatsoever like “Natsume Yuujinchou”, “Kuroko No Basuke”, “AOT”, “Number24″, “Fukigen na Mononokean”, “Tower Of God”, “Owari no Seraph” etc., but did in fact show interest in the same gender one. That I get, yes.

And btw even if you want somebody to be as I call it a “wishful bi”, I think it should be only in situations like if these characters have some absolutely wonderful/undeniable connection, not just the ship for the sake of gay ship.

_____

That’s probably it. Otherwise I’m fine, I think :D

#answered #anonymous #shipping #otp #anime #or should i tag notp xD #tbh 2 is my nemesis #I for some reason can't stand it #technically it's not THE worst per se but somehow for me it is

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lawgrain · 4 years ago

Text

Appropriate and Inappropriate Comments on AO3

So I mentioned the idea of doing one of these and I think it’s low key needed. But before I start I do want to say, most of you guys are great and the inappropriate section will seem like comments sense to you. But sadly it’s not to everyone and I’ve gotten comments like them. I’ma start on the positive side though. With that, I’ma jump in!

Good Comments

1) Just leaving hearts is actually pretty chill. I know some of you guys get nervous to comment and hearts might not seem like much, but it’s a very clear message: you liked the story. Not every comment has to be in-depth and if you are afraid to go into a deep comment, at leas for me, I don’t mind just getting hearts. Most the time I just respond with hearts back <3

2) Picking out specific quotes or moments you like is kind of cool. I’ve had people pick out a quote from a chapter and I get so excited when it happens to be a section I specifically worked on. I’m like “Yeah! That’s right! I added that for flow and it was friggen appreciated. Take that world!” It can just be something that meant something to you or that you found particularly funny/interesting. These are words writers have worked on and they’ll be happy to see, oh these are the ones that were liked. Sometimes people even point out things I hadn’t thought y’all would like and that’s super cool too!

3) So low and behold, writers sometimes really like talking about their works. In particular, I get caught up in meanings behind things and morals. Obviously not every writer gets caught up in those things but they still like talking about their work. So asking an opinion on stuff is sometimes pretty fun. Asking about what an author thinks of a certain character or what a character would do in a certain situation is like a fun little challenge game. But with this one, it’s important to keep it within the realm of opinions.

For example, I got an ask on here once asking what I think would happen in a certain situation. That was a great way to phrase things. It let me know that they are just asking for my imagination on things. They didn’t suggest that something else should be happening or what they wish was happening. It was just “what do you think?” Here’s a link to that. It was a fun ask to think about and actually made me want to right more. Where things can go wrong is sometimes people ask more into a character while sort of suggesting that I’m doing something wrong with the character or suggesting I should be having more about certain characters that I don’t want to do. So a “what do you think” is a beautiful way to avoid that and keep things to opinions.

4) It’s pretty nice to know people got meaning from a story. I am definitely okay if people just read my work on a surface level. It’s meant to entertain and if that’s all it does, that’s okay. But it’s also really meaningful when I hear that people are taking things away from a story. I love the comments saying “I’m gonna be thinking about this” or “this made me question things.” Because that’s my goal. I want people walking away with a new perspective or something gained. And then I’ve gotten people who thought they were the only ones to feel some of the things I’ve written and it’s kind of amazing to show that they’re not.

And yes, this doesn’t apply to every fic because not every fic is written to have as much meaning. But every fic is written to do something. A comedy is written to make you laugh and the writer wants to know they’ve done that. A fluff piece is written to make you happy and show cute moments and a writer likes hearing you fangirl over those cute moments. And angst is written to make you feel. It might be heartache but if your stomach drops the moment you read something in an angst, that’s far from a bad comment to get.

5) You don’t have to do this, but sometimes it’s nice to appreciate the writers as themselves. It’s nice when people shift the focus from the fic to how you wrote the fic. There’s a sort of meaningful difference between the two. In one phrasing anyone could have done it. In the other it recognizes the writer and how writing is an enjoyable part of them instead of all they are. I think a lot of times for myself I start to think people just like or follow me for a fic I wrote. That has a lot of me in it, but that’s not who I am. I tend to answer questions in a very fic orientated way. You don’t like my writing you like the fic. You don’t like how I worked on a fic, you just like how the fic exists. Again this isn’t something you have to do and it doesn’t detract from the amazing comments left. But it adds something a little more meaningful for the author.

On to the next thing!

Inappropriate Comments

I’m going to precursor this with I know for sure some of you guys don’t know you do a few of these. Some of these are purely things trolls would do but others happen with people who actually don’t mean to bring a writer down. And I know it’s not your intentions to make a writer feel bad but it can easily happen by accident.

1) I mentioned this in a different post which I’ll link here, but be careful with comparisons. Keep things in a positive manner and focus on writer you are actually commenting on. It is not okay to draw comparisons to describe everything the author is doing wrong and the other is doing right. I got a comment doing that once and, surprise surprise, that's very shitty. If you’re going to compare a fic, do it in a way that doesn’t degrade anyone. Say it’s different or the same, and only do that if you’re going to follow it up with you found it enjoyable. I know for a fact that if someone used my fic to hurt another person, I’d be furious. I don’t care if you like my fic better, that’s no reason to make other people feel bad. Authors writings aren't all supposed to be the same fic. It’s gonna be different and that’s okay.

2) It's okay to be very impassionate against characters actions in a fic. Some are written to be disliked. But there are lines. It's not okay to say that a child deserves to be beaten by a parent. A lot of things aren't okay. Directing anger at characters is different then implying real world things should happen to them. People are abused in real life. People who have been abused are gonna read you talk about how you think it’s okay. It’s not. It’s never been okay and it’s a really shitty thing to have to find that in a comment section.

3) It's okay to be upset with things that happens in a story. It's not okay to attack the story itself. You can like a story and still accidentally do this. Saying things are "unrealistic" and "would never happen" are kind of offensive. It starts attacking the author and devalues what they are trying to write. And the other thing about that is not everyones experience is gonna match up. I know I write in a heavy topic. So when I’m told that somethings would never happen and then I have to quietly take it, understand that some of these things have happened. I’m listening to some of you write off things that have even happened to me. And you’re also writing off what might be happening to others. I know teachers might seem unrealistic to people who have had good teachers. I know it seems incomprehensible for everyone to turn their backs on a character to people who have had good friends, who have had people listen to them. And let me just state it plainly, I am jealous of those people. I’m jealous of people who have never been happy one day just to feel completely betrayed and alone the next. I envy you. And I know that’s not the intention with some of you guys when you comment but in the end, not cool.

4) Comment on the actual fic. When you go off about how you wish things would happen or say "it's too bad this didn't happen", you are telling the author that you wish you were reading something else. I’ve gotten very well meaning comments talking about how they just wish something else would happen or “what if instead”. And I don’t know what you want me to say. Yeah that’s great but it’s also not what I’m writing. Be my guest if you want to write that I guess. In the end those people never give me something that I can respond to because they made it about what they want and not about anything I did. If you genuinely want to change everything about my fic but keep the bases, just comment “Do you mind if I do a fic inspired by this one” and I will happily say yes, just make sure to note it was inspired by the fic. Hell I’m chill even when people don’t ask for the go ahead and just remember to cite me as the inspiration. But getting a comment wishing you did something else? Not enjoyable.

5) Don’t comment just to confuse the writer. This one is kind of odd and something that hasn’t happened to me as much. But leaving confusing comments that have nothing to do with the story? Like I don’t know what is expected when that happens. I’m less inconvenienced by this because I like to just roll with things but I know others don’t like this. It starts to feel like you’re being trolled. Again I don’t mind this as much. Like once I got a consistent commenter that I never quite understood what their comments meant and I actually started to enjoy the oddity. They’d do a key smash then Id be like “okay well, when in Rome” and key smash back. But some aren’t me and are going to assume it’s being done to them to annoy them. Which is a safe bet because a lot of writers have probably been trolled or low key harassed by people in the comment sections.

6) If you say you like a fic and then say “too bad you did this in the fic”, you don’t like the fic.

7) This one is based on a comment that I know what done with good intentions but careful on how you ask questions. Writers do like talking about their fics but we like talking about it to people who are curious and like the fic. If you have a question, ask it but let us know that you aren’t challenging the fic itself. So for example, I mentioned when a fics realism is brought into question. It’s not chill to say “It’s unrealistic” because that's an insult. It’s not okay to put “how is this realistic” because that’s gonna put the writer back in defensive after their other bad experiences in comment sections. What you could do is say “how did you come up with the teachers acting like they are in the fic”. Or once I got on the defense because a question was phrased in a way that sounded like a set up to hate on my fic. It wasn’t made to do that and the person picked up on my very obvious defensive mode. What can help if you’re unsure how a question is going to come across add something like “The answer doesn’t change how much I like the fic, I was just curious”. That’d set me at ease at leat.

8) Don’t demand answers. And I’m not talking about the silly “wE neEd tO kNoW LaW!!” thing. I usually know when you’re teasing. I’m talking about people who just want an answer from you and leave. This isn’t bad perse and doesn’t actually hurt a writers feelings. It just tells the writer nothing about how they are doing. Did you like the fic? Was there something confusing about this section that caused this question? Again this one is a very small thing. Writers probably don’t mind answering the question either. It’s just kind of one where it’s less engaging because you feel like the person just wants you for the one piece of information.

9) If you have to disclaim it sounds rude or aggressive, think about who that disclaimer is for. Is it for you to feel like it’s okay to say rude things and then claim “but that’s not how I meant it” or is actually because you’re worried you phrased something wrong. And for gods sake if I get a goddamn comment saying “I don’t mean to start a fight” I’m starting a fight next time. Most of the comments I get that have some sort of disclaimer feel like they are just trying to excuse themselves and have a place they can say “look, right there, I said it’s not rude so it isn’t” as if that changes things. It’s like if someone went “I don’t mean to be a jerk, but here’s an entire list of why I don’t like your story and lol that sounded a bit agressive. Woops! Good thing I didn’t mean it like that!” Bullshit. Take a minute to actually access who the comment is for, you or the writer. I’m actually the most heated about this point. Like I’ve gotten a very specific comment in mind and I really regret not going off. I’m still bitter.

10) This isn’t one I’ve gotten as much but have had someone mention to me. Some authors get a bit pressured when all you ask is for more. Like we’re happy you want more. Very happy. But the way this author explained it to me was “It feels like they just ignore the 40k of free work I’ve just written and feel entitled for more.” I’m paraphrasing it a bit here. But the thing is, it’s very flattering that you want more of a writers work but why can’t what they’ve already done be appreciated. Don’t just demand, appreciate too. A lot of writers are working on more things at once and it needs to be recognized that they are worth more than the one chapter more you need for just one of their fics.

Ending Note

Alrighty! That’s all I can think of for now. All writers are different but I hope this is a good foundation for things. Looking back on some comments I’ve left, I know that they probably weren’t as positive as I thought because they weren’t made from a writers point of view. Now though, I think I’d do a better job after having gotten some of the comments I have. But I don’t want anyone to feel called out or bad. I usually know when you guys are well intentioned and just missing the mark. If anyone wants to add or reblog this, be my guest!

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thisaccisdead · 4 years ago

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“Half Full” - Moceit Fic

Content/warnings: referenced past manipulation, alcohol, a lot of discussion of things the sides have done wrong, but none of them are intended as unsympathetic. they have done some b a d stuff but they’re learning and we love them all yknow?? (namely warnings for virgil being overprotective/lashing out, and me being on my bullshit anti-roceit agenda)

Notes: You all know I’m not a writer, but I had a thought about a?? Characterization for Janus?? Which as I reread this is kind of very OOC, but idk I just thought it was neat, and I do go crazy for moceit hurt/comfort.

Finding the moral side crying in the middle of the night was, all things considered, not too surprising. After all, Janus knew every time Patton lied about his happiness. However, he had suspected to find him with loud, messy sobs. With a tin of cookies almost finished. Not with a bottle of wine and a blank, tear-tracked face.

He didn’t even seem to notice Janus’ entrance until he cleared his throat.

“Oh,” Patton uttered, gaze flicking to the other side. His face didn’t gain any clarity of expression. He just started putting away the wine and finished off his glass, making moves to leave. “Sorry.”

Janus took a moment to hide his shock at the scene, and at Patton’s reaction to him. (What, had he thought the moral side would come running into his arms for comfort? He was being ridiculous.)

“Give that here, you imbecile,” Janus said, taking the bottle from Patton’s hands and pouring himself a glass. There was no bite behind his words, at least not in a meaningful way. He’d lost his edge. “So, you’re just up for fun, I assume?”

“Hm,” Patton failed to respond. “Are you going to stay up?”

“I’m sure I’ll be back to bed in a moment.”

“That sounds like a lie.”

“How out-of-character that would be for me,” Janus smiled.

Patton half-smiled back. “You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“A documentary on Greek philosophers.”

Janus frowned at the dry film Patton pulled up. “You think you’ll enjoy this?”

“I think it’ll be boring as fuck,” he said, casually. Janus turned to him in mild shock, while he simply yawned. “But Logan wanted me to watch it. Maybe it’ll be more interesting with you.”

Janus nodded, careful to hide his smile behind his glass.

��••

The movie was, as Patton had so eloquently predicted, boring as fuck. Also, quite hazy by the end, due to all the wine. They had been quiet near the beginning, but by the end they were talking over everything in hushed whispers and even a laugh from Patton, every so often.

The next day, when Janus walked in on breakfast, he swore Patton’s smile changed. From a brittle, stiff form--forced in the tense atmosphere--to something more relaxed. Relieved.

“Oh, hiya, Janus! There’s a seat here if you wanna stay,” Patton patted the chair beside him.

Janus stayed.

•••

“...Janus is right.”

“Of course,” Virgil scoffed.

It was the first whole group discussion they’d had since the… wedding fiasco. And while Virgil didn’t seem surprised by Patton’s words, Janus most certainly was.

“Obviously, I am. I knew you would agree, Patton,” Janus lied.

Patton was too preoccupied to do anymore than hum at Janus’ statement, all concerned glances over at Roman. Ugh, Roman. Still all mopey after the last video, he was currently staring determinedly at the floor. Him and Patton should have let all of that go by now--the past was the past. Hadn’t they learnt about moving on?

“Are you sure, Patton?” Thomas asked. “I’ve always gone to this event before. And, I’ve always made it through--”

Patton shook his head. “You know there will be family members there who don’t respect you. And who choose not to learn. I know I’ve always been the one to say they deserve your love anyway, but… I don’t know if they do.”

All of the sides stood in shock for a moment. Janus schooled away a proud look.

Logan was the first to speak, slowly nodding. “...Yes, well, Patton does bring up an interesting point. Thomas, you tend to give people the ‘benefit-of-the-doubt’, which can be a good thing, and has led to you improving relationships in the past. However, if the other people are actively refusing to learn, no progress can ever be made. And so the effort would be for naught.”

In no time flat, Thomas was coming to his big realization about not owing certain people certain things, yada yada yada, doing the outro, yada yada yada. Janus was about to sink out, with that new, odd, and decidedly wonderful vindication that he was right, when--

“Deceit, wait.”

Janus sighed, audibly, and made sure to put on his most sardonic smile. “Yes, Virgil?”

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“You’ll have to be a little more specific, dear.”

“Don’t--” Virgil grit his teeth and huffed out a breath. “With Patton, I mean.”

“Hm. Really, Virgil, I wish I knew what you were referring to, but--”

“Oh, cut the bullshit!” He finally snapped. “I don’t know what you’ve been playing at with him, if you think you really like him, but you’re just gonna do to him what you did to Roman.”

Janus cringed at that, though he tried not to. Virgil knew just how to get to him. “Well. Thank you for this conversation, Virgil. I’ll be considering it deeply,” he said sarcastically, before sinking out. Though, it wasn’t as much of a lie as he would have liked.

•••

“Janus? What are you doing?”

Patton had found him pacing around the living room. And he hadn’t even had enough time to mask his aggravated expression when the moral side entered.

“Dishes,” he replied sourly.

“Right,” Patton said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ve used that one enough to see through it.” He joked, smiling bittersweetly. It was such a sincere look he was giving, so ready to comfort. Janus wasn’t used to it. Whether the ‘it’ was sincerity or comfort he couldn’t say.

“It’s just--I don’t see why I should have to apologize to him,” Janus spat out.

Patton came over to the couch, motioning for Janus to join him. He did.

“Virgil?” Patton asked. Janus looked away. “...Ah. Roman.”

“He shouldn't have laughed at my name!”

“Yes,” Patton nodded slowly. “We've all done things we shouldn’t’ve.”

“...Are you implying something?”

Patton raised a brow. “Calling two sides evil for the price of one?”

“Oh, please,” Janus scoffed. “You’ve always thought Remus was evil.”

“...Yes. And I’m learning why that’s wrong,” he admitted.

That gave Janus a pause, but he quickly disregarded his surprise. “Well, I already reminded you, Roman started it.”

“No, he didn’t.” Patton looked away. He took a deep breath in, silent for a beat too long. “...I did. A long time ago.”

Janus narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I told him he was dishonorable to side with you. That treating you as more than a villain was evil.” Each word sounded like it pained him. Each a confession, although Janus had been witness to all of it. “It’s all always been my fault.” Tears silently began to fall down his cheeks. He blinked, as if to somehow subtly dispel them, but they only fell harder.

And, oh.

Oh no.

Janus really didn’t want to do this next part.

It would be so easy to let Patton believe that. He could even comfort the side, tell him he was forgiven, help him through--all without revealing anything.

Save himself. It was what he was built for.

“Patton… it wasn’t all your fault, per say.” Patton glanced up at him, confused, and it was his turn to look away. “I quite blatantly flattered Roman. I manipulated him, used him--whatever you want to call it. All because I wanted his favor in... that case.”

“Well, I already knew--”

“Except, it wasn’t just that case,” Janus rushed out before he could lose his nerve. “It started when I first revealed myself to Thomas, remember? Really, I just wanted to test the waters, at first. See what I could get away with, and who I could get away with it with.”

Patton had a blank look as he sorted through his memory. “ ‘Love the outfit, Roman,’” he finally quoted.

“...Indeed,” Janus sighed. “It became clear that Roman would be the easiest to get to. Which makes sense from his need-of-praise mixed with lack-of-praise. And he is the romantic side. And I just knew, one day it would be useful if he was…somewhat biased, so if…”

“If you and him were a little… friendly?” Patton finished, sadly. Disappointedly.

Janus nodded. Then, quickly, he rushed to add, “I mean, nothing that bad! I didn’t kiss him. We were never dating. I just may have implied--”

Patton’s face changed from disappointed, then. To something else. Something worse.“Right. No. Of course,” Patton said. “Not that bad at all.”

That lie from Patton’s tongue ached in Janus’s chest for the rest of the day.

***

Remus wasn’t in their side of the mindscape when Janus returned to it. Which he didn’t make too much of, sulking around and rewatching Good Place episodes, until Remus skipped in covered in… blood? No. Much more unusual--red paint.

“What have you been up to then, hm?” Janus asked, as polite as he was disinterested.

“Painting with Pat! Drawing with Daddy! Look!” He shoved a messy, still drying canvas in Janus’s arms. It was a finger painting of mutilated arm, rather tame for him, but perhaps that was because he made it with--

“Patton?”

“That’s what I said! Geez, who stole your ears? Oh, wait, was it me? That sounds like me. But, of course, it doesn’t sound like anything to you!” He cackled.

“I still have my ears, you gremlin,” he hissed. “But you’re right, there’s nothing for me to be surprised about, since you and Patton are on such great terms.”

“Exactly!” Remus confirmed. “Wow, you heard about it quick, JJ! It was just this afternoon, he came up with those pouty puppy eyes, gushing apologies, asking me to be his wittle fwiend~” he batted his eyelashes mockingly. Heat rose in Janus’s chest at that, and he almost lept to defend Patton, embarrassingly, but luckily Remus continued before he could.

“Which, was kinda stupid; guy made it sound like he had committed war crimes against me or some shit. Like, yeah, dude was a dick to me; I was a dick to him. That was meant to be our whole dynamic! Now whenever I scare him--what?--I’ll feel guilty, who wants that?! I liked being enemies. But maybe I’ll like being friends more.” He shrugged. “Time will tell, right? That’s a great idea, actually. I’m gonna go make some clocks that just scream every hour. Oo, or every minute! Yeah, that. Seeya, Janny Fanny!”

Janus gaped, left uncomprehending, while Remus sped off.

He tried to imagine it--Remus. With Patton. Chatting, smiling, joking. Remus would, of course, be able to bring much more reckless fun to the father figure than he might otherwise go for. Patton might enjoy some of Remus’s more childish humor. In an odd, backwards way they made a sort of sense.

The image made Janus’s blood boil. He should have been pleased for them. He knew that, but it didn’t help. And--what? Had Janus thought he was special? Fancied himself the singular, blessed demon chosen by an angel? Patton’s new bestest buddy?

No. He should’ve known that was never on the table. As it turned out, Patton was simply being polite to everyone now. That didn’t mean Janus had changed in his mind. It didn’t mean Janus had changed at all.

He was a villain. He had been going about this all wrong, trying to be more than he was made for. He needed to remember that.

***

“How the tables table, huh?”

“That is how the phrase goes,” Janus remarked dryly as Patton took a seat by him. Janus offered him the wine bottle, but he put a hand up and shook his head.

“Well, at least I’m not crying,” Janus sneered.

“No, wouldn’t want to ruin your dignity like me, right?” Patton half-joked. Half-joke, half-smile, half-truth. Nothing Patton did went full way. “Wanna talk about it?”

Janus scoffed, and went back to nursing his drink.

“Right,” Patton frowned. “Listen--Janus, I wanted to apologize. ...Again,” he added, with a half-laugh. Half-laugh, half-hurt. Whatever. “I shouldn’t have gotten so judgmental earlier. Morality and judgement tend to go hand in hand, even when they shouldn’t. And I got defensive on Roman’s behalf too,” he admitted. Janus grit his teeth, glaring at the wooden counter. Defensive over Roman. Friends with Remus. “Look--I’ve done bad stuff too. I had no place to judge you now, when it’s clear you have now learned.”

Janus laughed, suddenly, bitterly, at that. “Oh, have I, now?”

Patton blinked, tilting his head. “...Yes?”

Janus rolled his eyes, and downed the end of his glass. “Listen, Morality, I’m not like you. I don’t need to go on some learning spree, down the path of beautiful ethics and self-improvement. I’m not meant to be a little, lovely side. Maybe learning my name made you forget; I’m Deceit.You heard Thomas yourself--I’m a flaw. So, I don’t do guilt. I don’t plan on too much learning. And I definitely won’t be spewing out apologies, like some sides I know,” he bit out each word. He wanted to make Patton leave. Maybe cry. Make him realize what Janus really was. But he just sat there with that stupid, sincere, concerned gaze.

“I’m not built for it!” Janus continued, growing more frantic at the lack of reaction. “...I can’t.”

Janus shoved his hand to his mouth in an attempt to cover the first sob, but it was too late. Soon his shoulders were shaking, his head in his hands, breaths unsteady. There were warm arms around his back, pulling him against a cardigan-clad chest, soothing whispers in his ears. He realized his hat had been taken off as he felt fingers run through his hair.

“Janus,” Patton began softly, moving back slightly so that Janus could meet his eyes. “That sounded like a lot of lies to me.”

Janus shook his head firmly, fumbling to pull his gloves off and put his hands up. “Patton, I swear, that is the truth!”

Patton looked at him for a long moment. Then, he reached his hands out, and slowly took Janus’s. Janus let him. “You can lie to yourself, you know,” he said softly.

Janus’s eyes burned, and he had to force himself not to spill over the edge again. He was hyper-aware of their contact, now. The warmth of Patton’s skin against his was intoxicating.

Patton looked down at their hands too. He squeezed them lightly, a 3 beat pattern. “They’re so cold,” he frowned.

“Are they, now?” Janus aimed for sarcastic, but it came out unsteady.

“Mhm.”

They were quiet for a long time. Unmoving. As if a word, a breath, could break them apart.

“I’ll apologize,” Janus said finally.

“To Roman?”

“...Yes,” Janus agreed. “And to you.”

“What for?”

Janus looked down at their intertwined hands, waited for Patton to follow his gaze. “The things I want.”

“Oh,” Patton breathed. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Janus’s hand. “I… don’t think the things we want are so different anymore.”

“Hm.” Janus let go of Patton’s grip, just for a moment, in order to pull the other closer. Patton melted in his grip immediately, head laying on his shoulder. Janus returned the embrace. “Maybe not.”

#my writinggg is really badd and that ok im not a writerr i might delete this later #i only have the guts to post this bcuz its 2:30am woooo #starting a tag as tho ill ever put anything else in it #moceit #moceit fic #ts patton #ts janus #janus angst #patton angst #patton sanders #janus sanders #theres implied roman angst but idk if i should put it in the tag so i wont #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #ask me if theres smthing i forgot ot tag #lucy.fic

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illeee-girl · 3 years ago

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La La(chimolala) Land Chapter Thirteen: The Confession from Your Lips

jimin x reader genre: fluff (but it gets pretty dang meaningful here, sorry not sorry) word count: 2.25k warnings: none

[Inspired by La La Land]

Read on Wattpad

Read on Ao3

You’d hung up your apron at the coffee shop that Monday morning for the last time.

Production on Red Writer began almost immediately. The independent film studio who'd bought it was new, but had plenty of resources, and wanted to get the film out within the next year. Casting went by smoothly—you found the perfect Marianne, and the perfect Sam—and filming began just two months after your pitch. You’d perfected the screenplay with a table of the studio’s on-hand writers, and nothing had been so exhilarating. Those days of revising and reworking scene after scene . . . they’d been the stuff of dreams. The first installment for the screenplay came in sooner than you’d hoped, and you moved up to Burbank to be closer to the set. Sad as you were to leave Jess, Rachel, and Diana for a tiny studio apartment of your own, they constantly came to visit, so it felt like you’d never stopped being roommates.

You and Jimin hadn’t stopped talking, per say, since your late-night, poolside, deep conversation. (For the record, you would never let go of anyone who would have a late-night, poolside, deep conversation with you.) But you’d been busy—busier than you’d ever been—and he’d left for Seoul to a round of promotional interviews and TV spots for the band’s latest album. After that, he’d be in Tokyo for a few weeks to do the same. Those sweet six months he’d promised to you that day on the pier had gone by in the blink of an eye. More and more, it began to seem like your schedule wasn’t the only wrench in Jimin’s dream of domestic bliss. BTS was only getting bigger—and there was no way he could leave.

October came. You were caught in the pressure-filled realm of wrapping up filming, and Jimin was still in Asia. FaceTimes turned into phone calls, phone calls into texts. “Good morning” and “Good night” turned into “How has the past week been?” It’s just the time difference, you told yourself. That, and he’s so impossibly busy. You’d message the boys whenever you thought of them, and they’d message back. “How’s Jimi?” You’d ask. “He’s doing fine,” they'd respond. “Just exhausted. In love with you as much as ever, I promise.”

But doubts crept in, deadlines piled up, and before you knew it, you were about ready to give up.

_________________________

“Hey, it’s me,” you leave a message on his phone one evening. “I’m walking through Little Tokyo. We just finished one of the last scenes on our list. It’s all going really well. But I’m exhausted. At least I have a car now, so I don’t have to take the metro. But now I have to sit in LA traffic all the time. I don’t know which is worse. I’ve heard the traffic in Seoul is pretty bad too . . . I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I’m just . . . I miss you. Call me when you get this. If you even bother to listen to it. At this point, I’m not sure I care anymore.”

You climb in your Prius, sit in traffic on the 101, and spend the entire drive wishing that you could have the past summer back. Those days with warm breezes and frozen treats . . . holding his hand, listening to his voice . . .

But now, you assure yourself, I’m more successful. I have some money. I have a much better job—the one I’d been dreaming about for ages. My movie is finally being made. Something I wrote is going to make it on screen. People are going to see it. Some are going to like it. A few are going to love it. When I go home for Thanksgiving this year, I won’t have more disappointing news for Mom and Dad. Not anymore.

So why do I yearn for the past?

After a quick shower and some leftover Thai takeout for dinner, you sit down to watch your next episode of Crash Landing on You.

“There’s an old Indian proverb,” says Son Ye-jin, in the form of character Yoon Se-ri, “that says, ‘Sometimes, the wrong train takes you to the right station.’”

I’ve got to jot that down. That’s good stuff. You grab your notebook from your side table. It’s already littered with quotes and notes and ideas. You find a clean page and write down the k-drama heroine’s words—but not before you flip through your notes from that day in the hills. The day you’d gone up to watch BTS film that music video for “research.” The first day you’d heard Jimin sing.

I can’t imagine a sound clearer, a voice more beautiful, you’d written. It’s a voice with the power to caress you gently, to bring you to tears, to take you to places unexplored. The pure emotion he puts into it is unparalleled.

Your fingers dig into the fibers of your couch. You have to pause the TV—tears are starting to gather in the bottoms of your eyes, and you can’t read the subtitles.

You miss hearing him sing. He was always singing, always dancing, no matter where you went. You lean back into the couch, and a memory appears behind your eyelids. Jimin taking you to Urban Light, humming “I Could Have Danced All Night” from My Fair Lady while weaving between the lampposts. “Come ‘ere, my Eliza,” he’d begged, goofy as ever. “Dance with me.” “We both know very well that I’m the Henry Higgins in this relationship,” you’d said, but you’d spun into his arms anyway. “I could have danced all night,” he’d begun singing, “I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more.” “Shh, Jimin, we’re out in public. Someone might recognize your voice.” “I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things, I’ve never done before.” He’d continued, unabashed, light of every variety gathering in his dark eyes.

You’d fussed at him then. You’d tried to get him to shut up. Getting caught dancing with a girl—well, the fans would’ve been talking about it for months on end. But now, sitting alone in your little apartment . . .

“I’ll never know what made it so exciting,” you begin, your voice raspy, vocal chords raw from the tears you’d shed, “Why all at once my heart took flight.” The words come out slowly, painfully. “I only know when he began to dance with me . . .”

“I could have danced, danced, danced, all night.”

It takes you a few moments to realize that you did not sing that last line alone.

You stand up.

You wipe your eyes.

You look around.

You cross over to your front door.

Behind it stands a tear-stained face (complete with puffy lips and eyelids), a messy head full of hair, and, as ever, an impeccably dressed body.

“Jagi, I’m so sorry—” he begins to weep.

But his apology isn’t able to come to fruition. You stop it with a kiss: deeper and firmer and stronger than ever before. You grab the fibers of his sweater and breathe him in. It’s like coming up for air after spending months underwater.

“Shh, shhh,” you soothe him, smoothing his unkempt hair. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re here now.”

“But I just can’t—”

You kiss him again, right there in the hallway, refusing to listen to him berate himself.

“So I take it you missed me.”

“I take it you haven’t lost your cheekiness.”

“Never.”

You pull him inside, and when the door closes behind you, he slaps his hand against it in full kabedon style, trapping you against it. You expect a kiss, but he just says:

“This is so stupid.”

You begin to worry. “What is?”

“This. Us. Our lives keeping us apart,” he laments, hanging his head. “I mean, I’m grateful that the band grew to be so successful. I will always be grateful for that. I wouldn’t trade my hyungs, or our fans, for the world.” Now, he brings his forehead to rest on yours. “But I want to be with you,” he murmurs, big tears beginning to roll down his round cheeks.

You wipe them away as they fall. “I want to be with you, too,” you say. “Things are just . . . complicated right now. For both of us.”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty for pursuing your dream, Jagiya,” he holds your hand in his. “You’re not the one who left LA. You’re not the one who grew to be so bad at communicating. That’s all on me.” More tears fall. “It’s all on me.”

“It absolutely isn’t. I knew you’d have to leave sometime.”

“And I knew that, too.” He rubs his eyes. “It just frustrates me to no end.”

“I know, baby.”

“Hmm,” he hums. “You’ve never called me that before.”

You shrug. “I thought I’d add it to the already extensive list of your nicknames.”

He hugs you tight. “I’ve missed you so much.” He lets you go after a few minutes and starts pacing the room, a look of intensity painted on his face. “Jagi.”

“Mm-hmm?”

“You’ve seen La La Land, right?”

“We’ve watched it together eight times, Jiminie. It’s kind of our thing.”

“Right. Well, you know when Mia walks in to the apartment and Sebastian’s there and he’s cooking her dinner and she’s so glad to see him but then they sit down and realize everything’s falling apart because their dreams are pulling them apart and long distance is just too hard and so even though they both get what they wanted they don’t get what they wanted?”

He’s rambling—which means he’s nervous. But I am, too. “You mean, they prioritize their dreams over each other, so they end up apart?” You respond as calmly as you can.

“Yes. Gosh, you’re so much better with words than I am.”

“And you’re so much better at singing than I am, as evinced by our impromptu duet a minute ago—which I loved, by the way.”

He smiles. “Don’t distract me with compliments. Don’t get all cute on me now. I’m on the cusp of something good.” His mind is clearly hard at work.

Yours is too. “Something that’ll fix our problem?”

“Yes. I think so. Anyway, so you know how they both get what they want in the end but they don’t get each other even though they really wanted each other?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, I’ve always thought that was so stupid. I mean, good writing, to be sure. It’s realistic—I’m sure it happens to people all the time. It’s a common thing: having to choose between the person you love and the thing you love to do. But I refuse to choose between you and the band.”

A million thoughts race through your head. “Do you . . .” it’s as if the kitchen lights begin to dim around him—as if he is the only thing illuminated in your vision. “Do you love me, Jimin?” You ask, wringing your hands nervously.

Finally, he stops pacing. “Isn’t it obvious?”

The vignette around him intensifies as you respond, “Well, it’s just, you’ve never said it in so many words.”

“Neither have you, and you’re actually good at words.”

You laugh. “Fair. But I’m usually not too good at them when it comes to this.”

Silence ensues for a few moments.

Then he speaks: “Wait, do you . . . do you not love me? Because if you don’t, then the plan I’ve been forming in my head all falls apart.”

You giggle, burying your face in your oversized t-shirt.

“What is it?" A look of worry attaches to his face. “What’s so funny?”

“I just . . .” more laughter comes out. Why are you like this? Stop giggling so much! “I love that you’re creating a plan in your head right now. And I love that you flew all the way here to see me. I love that, instead of simply knocking on my door, you heard me singing and decided to join in for the last line. I love that you’ve treated me like a queen, even though we both know I’m—as Henry Higgins would say—a ‘guttersnipe,’ compared to you. I love that you get concerned over every little thing, and that nothing—not even all this time we’ve spent apart—has killed your feelings for me. I love you, Jiminie. I love, love, love you. As Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing would say, ‘I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.’”

He crosses the room with the eagerness and speed of a famished fire eager to expand. His lips are on yours before you can take a breath to prepare yourself, and the kiss only leaves you more bewitched than you were before. His hands hold your head as if it were the most valuable diamond in all the world; his enchanting softness and brazen attention make you feel priceless. The ground beneath your feet seems to melt, but he catches you.

This kiss says, genuinely and shamelessly: I love you, Y/N. There can be no doubt of that. You are worth the world to me, success or no success. Your productivity, your popularity—your being loved by others—does nothing to impact your value in my eyes. And there is nothing in this world that can ever change my love for you. It’s everlasting.

You break away suddenly.

“What?” He asks. “Is something wrong?”

“That’s good stuff,” you say, crossing over to the couch and fumbling around for your notebook. “I’m sorry, Jiminie. I’ve just got to write that down.”

“Write what down? I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, yes you did. You most certainly did.” You finish scribbling down your thoughts. “Now get over here and talk to me some more.”

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts jimin #bts park jimin #park jimin #park jimin x reader #park jimin fanfiction #park jimin fanfic #park jimin fic #jimin x reader #jimin fanfiction #jimin fanfic #jimin fic #jimin fluff #inspired by La La Land #La La(chimolala) Land

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alinaastarkov · 4 years ago

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i am not an anti or a jonrya, i'm just trying to get a grasp on whether or not there's foreshadowing for it. I don't mean offense but I hope you'll humor me. Couldn't Jon thinking of Arya when he meets Ygritte just be him comparing her with his biggest female influence, Bran compares Meera to Arya! Jon saying "What do you know of my heart?" could just be Jon guarding the part of him that loves all of his siblings. Do you think there's any unambiguous evidence? No hate tho, you do you! x

Hey! No offence at all I’m happy to elaborate on asks like this x

There is merit to what you’re saying about the Ygritte comparison, but I am gonna have to disagree. Jon comparing Ygritte to Arya makes sense because they have similar personalities and it helps his admiration of her grow that they are so similar. Jon and Arya are close, naturally someone similar to Arya would be a huge plus in Jon’s eyes.

Jon could see fear and fire in her eyes. Blood ran down her white throat from where the point of his dirk had pricked her. One thrust and it's done, he told himself. He was so close he could smell onion on her breath. She is no older than I am. Something about her made him think of Arya, though they looked nothing at all alike. "Will you yield?" he asked, giving the dirk a half turn. And if she doesn't? - Jon VI, ACOK

"If you kill a man, and never mean t', he's just as dead," Ygritte said stubbornly. Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever? He had never truly been a Stark, only Lord Eddard's motherless bastard, with no more place at Winterfell than Theon Greyjoy. And even that he'd lost. When a man of the Night's Watch said his words, he put aside his old family and joined a new one, but Jon Snow had lost those brothers too. - Jon III, ASOS

(I’m gonna come back to that second quote cause it’s important).

But these moments aren’t really what we mean when we talk about Jon comparing them meaning romance. It certainly adds up - the qualities he likes in his lover being the same as Arya can’t be ignored, but it’s these moments that are more overt for the romantic foreshadowing:

Ygritte watched and said nothing. She was older than he'd thought at first, Jon realized; maybe as old as twenty, but short for her age, bandy-legged, with a round face, small hands, and a pug nose. Her shaggy mop of red hair stuck out in all directions. She looked plump as she crouched there, but most of that was layers of fur and wool and leather. Underneath all that she could be as skinny as Arya. - Jon VI, ACOK

Ygritte trotted beside Jon as he slowed his garron to a walk. She claimed to be three years older than him, though she stood half a foot shorter; however old she might be, the girl was a tough little thing. Stonesnake had called her a "spearwife" when they'd captured her in the Skirling Pass. She wasn't wed and her weapon of choice was a short curved bow of horn and weirwood, but "spearwife" fit her all the same. She reminded him a little of his sister Arya, though Arya was younger and probably skinnier. It was hard to tell how plump or thin Ygritte might be, with all the furs and skins she wore. - Jon II, ASOS

This is what jumps out as being super inappropriate and definitely non-brotherly. What kind of brother thinks about his lover’s naked body and the compares it to his sister? Not mine, that’s for certain, and thank god. It’s so odd to have this kind of thought if they are supposed to have a pure, sibling bond. Compare that to Bran, whose thoughts are similar to Jon’s first impressions:

“He wouldn't hurt you. He knows I like you." All of the other lords and knights had departed within a day or two of the harvest feast, but the Reeds had stayed to become Bran's constant companions. Jojen was so solemn that Old Nan called him "little grandfather," but Meera reminded Bran of his sister Arya. She wasn't scared to get dirty, and she could run and fight and throw as good as a boy. She was older than Arya, though; almost sixteen, a woman grown. They were both older than Bran, even though his ninth name day had finally come and gone, but they never treated him like a child. - Bran IV, ACOK

Bran never has a moment of thinking about nakedness and Arya, he simply admires the qualities they share which are mostly playful, childhood fun. Bran is also much younger than Jon, and Meera never entered into a relationship with Bran like Ygritte did with Jon. Yes, they both admire Arya-like qualities they find in other women, but on top of that Jon thinks some overtly physical/ almost sexual things and connects them to Arya. I think there’s a clear difference here between Bran’s brotherly thoughts, and Jon’s rather inappropriate thoughts.

Going back to the passage from before, Jon thinks this:

Jon had never met anyone so stubborn, except maybe for his little sister Arya. Is she still my sister? he wondered. Was she ever? - Jon III, ASOS

Bran never has a moment of doubt like this. Arya always is and will always be his sister. Understandable. Jon, however, doubts it constantly. Because of his vows, his bastardy, but there’s something else too. He doubts his other siblings as well, but he doubts it with Arya the most, perhaps rationalising his less-than-brotherly thoughts about her.

There’s no doubt Jon loves all his siblings. He thinks of Bran and Robb constantly and so many quotes are about them, his whole family.

When Jon had been very young, too young to understand what it meant to be a bastard, he used to dream that one day Winterfell might be his. Later, when he was older, he had been ashamed of those dreams. Winterfell would go to Robb and then his sons, or to Bran or Rickon should Robb die childless. And after them came Sansa and Arya. Even to dream otherwise seemed disloyal, as if he were betraying them in his heart, wishing for their deaths. I never wanted this, he thought as he stood before the blue-eyed king and the red woman. I loved Robb, loved all of them . . . I never wanted any harm to come to any of them, but it did. And now there's only me. All he had to do was say the word, and he would be Jon Stark, and nevermore a Snow. All he had to do was pledge this king his fealty, and Winterfell was his. All he had to do . . . . . . was forswear his vows again. - Jon XI, ASOS

Jon flexed the fingers of his sword hand. The Night's Watch takes no part. He closed his fist and opened it again. What you propose is nothing less than treason. He thought of Robb, with snowflakes melting in his hair. Kill the boy and let the man be born. He thought of Bran, clambering up a tower wall, agile as a monkey. Of Rickon's breathless laughter. Of Sansa, brushing out Lady's coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … - Jon XIII, ADWD

“What do you know of my heart” is not one of these times. There are no two ways about it, whether you’re a shipper or not. That quote is about Arya, and Arya alone. Jon’s heart is Arya.

"The heart is all that matters. Do not despair, Lord Snow. Despair is a weapon of the enemy, whose name may not be spoken. Your sister is not lost to you." "I have no sister." The words were knives. What do you know of my heart, priestess? What do you know of my sister? Melisandre seemed amused. "What is her name, this little sister that you do not have?" "Arya." His voice was hoarse. "My half-sister, truly …" "… for you are bastard born. I had not forgotten. I have seen your sister in my fires, fleeing from this marriage they have made for her. Coming here, to you. A girl in grey on a dying horse, I have seen it plain as day. It has not happened yet, but it will." - Jon VI, ADWD

This passage makes it pretty clear. Arya is the one in his thoughts, pretty much exclusively, leading up to this, because of the news of her marriage and Jon’s several attempts to rescue her. Melisandre is the first one to connect Jon’s heart to Arya his sister, and Jon’s thoughts are so explicit here. Arya is his heart, the person who means the most to him. Shipper or not, that’s a fact, though to me, having a brother with the same age gap and both of us would find it very, very weird for him to call me his “heart”, it is extremely romantic. Calling someone your actual “heart” so earnestly is extremely romantic and meaningful. It makes sense seeing as Jon goes on to die for Arya later on.

To me, these are pretty unambiguous. There’s a clear difference between Jon’s thoughts about Arya to the rest of his siblings/ other Starks’ feelings towards each other. I’ve explored more quotes that are hard to be viewed through a sibling lens here too. I’ll just leave you with a quote from GRRM’s original outline because that thing is basically heaven to us Jonrya shippers.

Arya will be more forgiving ... until she realizes, with terror, that she has fallen in love with Jon, who is not only her half-brother but a man of the Night's Watch, sworn to celibacy. Their passion will continue to torment Jon and Arya throughout the trilogy, until the secret of Jon's true parentage is finally revealed in the last book.

#jonrya #asoiaf #my meta #asoiaf meta #jonrya meta #jon snow #arya stark #jon x arya #acok #asos #adwd #original outline #Anonymous #neve has mail

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rachelbethhines · 4 years ago

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Tangled Salt Marathon - Painter’s Block

Once again, we have a decent episode that winds up falling apart in context of the wider story arc.

Summary: Traumatized after the previous events, Rapunzel is feeling out of sorts, even having trouble painting again, and starts taking a class with a mysterious new art instructor. The other members of the class disappear one by one to a mysterious location by the sea, apparently painting an old, withered tree. The instructor is revealed to actually be an old witch serving Zhan Tiri (the monster who released the blizzard), released after the use of the weather machine and wishing to release her master as well. It’s up to Eugene and Cassandra to rescue Rapunzel.

Tonal Dissonance Is a Problem

We start this episode with a recap of Queen for a Day and then we jump straight into yet another festival.

Ok, ignoring that clearly a lot of time has past and no one hasn’t done anything to help Varian nor even mentions helping him; it’s just aggravating to switch from a serious storyline back to a supposedly low stakes situation without resolving the first arc properly. Yes, levity is needed to break up tension, but not in a way that distracts entirely from the narrative.

Rapunzel Doesn’t Even Bother To Think About Varian When She’s Having Her PTSD Flashback

Its a minor thing, but throughout the episode Rapunzel keeps having dissociative moments as she constantly hears voices in her head as she remembers the storm. Now I actually do appreciate what the writers are trying to do here. As some who also struggles with Complex-PTSD and dissociation, it's nice to see it represented here in some way. However, the fact that they leave out the key part of her trauma, letting down Varian, undermines these moments. Especially when they had no problem using Varian’s voice clip of “You promised!” earlier in the recap. It’s one of those things you may not notice it at first, but once you do it winds up distracting from the scene.

What an Odd Place to Make This Reference

Sugarby is quoting Ursula here, but I honestly don't know why. Ursula’s actual VA, Pat Carroll, does appear in this episode but she plays Old Lady Crowley instead. Sugarby’s VA is Ellen Greene, of Little Shop of Horrors fame. (and Rock-A-Doodle) You’d think a quote from that movie would be more apt. Also Rapunzel was admiring everyone elses work right before this, not talking about tough choices.

Yet Again Cassandra Gains What She Wants, But the Narrative Refuses To Remember It

Cassandra’s beef in seasons two and three is apparently no one notices her or gives her credit for what she does, yet in season one she gets tons of recognition. Like here for instance, when her dad gives her a detective assignment on a missing persons case. To her specifically. He doesn’t ask anybody else first and isn’t running low on troops.

You can’t have one of the main characters achieve their goal on screen several times and then act like they had never achieved it in later seasons. The audience isn’t dumb. We’re going to remember what happened and it’s insulting to the viewers for the narrative to pretend like what we’ve seen just didn’t happen.

Friedborg is Wasted Here

I’ve talked about it before, but Friedborg is an unnecessary addition to the cast. However I bring it up again because this episode could have been the perfect set up for making her plot relevant. There’s tons of unintentional moments within the episode that could have easily served as foreshadowing that could have connected her to Zan Tiri, more so than any of the other characters.

Trauma is an Explanation, Not an Excuse

This episode presents the idea that Rapunzel is procrastinating helping Varian because she’s reluctant to face her trauma. Which isn’t excusable. It gives reasons for her actions but those reasons are still ultimately selfish.

Now, had the show owned up to this mistake, I would have no problem with using it as a point of conflict, yet the show constantly excuses Rapunzel’s behavior here. In fact the show excuses the behavior of several characters with the idea that so long that they had a traumatic backstory, they’re justified in their horrible actions. All but Varian, which a big double standard.

However, and I can’t stress this enough, trauma is never an excuse for harming others. Especially people who've never done you wrong.

Rapunzel spends several episodes ignoring Varian’s problem, long past the point of acceptability. And if viewed in the intended production order, the amount of episodes doubles. Varian is left alone for months, given the timeline of the show, and yet Rapunzel, the supposed adult in this situation, is never held accountable for neglecting a child.

Xavier isn’t Tied Into the Plot Properly

Xavier just so happens to have a convenient spell book that also just so happens to have all the exposition on the big bad that’s needed. It’s never explained how he got this book, why he has it, nor is it ever used outside of the first season.

Xavier is plot important as the exposition fairy but the show never explorers him further than that and doesn’t tie him into the narrative properly, even though there’s plenty of reasons to do so. In fact Xavier will become just as useless as Monty by the time season three rolls around, even though he previously had the most connection to the ultimate villain.

The Disciples Plot Goes Nowhere

Ok, first off we get no real explanation as who these guys are, nor why they follow Zan Tiri to begin with. Why do they want Zan Tiri freed? What’s in it for them precisely?

Second, what meminal backstory we get on these guys, contradicts what we’re told about them here. Xavier calls them evil spirits, but later we find out that they were actual real people who onced lived. You could call them ghosts if you want to, but that begs the original question of why they followed Zhan Tiri in the first place and why they continue to do so even in the afterlife. Simply being ‘evil’ no longer cuts it because real people aren’t just purely ‘evil’. They have goals and motivations.

Finally, they accomplish nothing. They never wind up freeing their master. That happens through other means. They never connect back to Zhan Tiri’s own goals and motivations. They don’t add backstory to any of the other characters nor expand the mythos of the series. They’re just there to be a baddie of the week, and it’s is such a let down given what other hints we got for them.

Sugarby Misgenders Her Master

So it’s clear that the writers did not fully figure out Zhan Tiri’s plot before they started making episodes. Given how animation works and how much pre-production time you’re given before you ever even start animating (which is several years btw), that’s a sign of mismanagement right there.

Zhan Tiri is revealed to be a girl, but is referred to using male pronouns until that reveal, even by people who very well should know better, like her disciples.

Also all these tree metaphors and hints come to nothing either, as Zhan Tiri is ultimately both freed and imprisoned without them. So what was the point here?

Rapunzel Doesn’t Learn Her Lesson

This episode is suppose to be about Rapunzel learning to accept responsibility and owning up to her decisions even if it's hard. This should, sensibly, end with her taking upon her responsibility for Varian and following up with him. But no, we get a painting party instead.

This isn’t Proper Foreshadowing

So everyone acts like this painting of Cassandra in front of the moon is foreshadowing for her taking the moonstone, but it’s not. Not good foreshadowing, anyways.

For starters, it’s not focused upon. Everyone is also painting stuff and crowding out what she’s doing so your eye isn’t lead to her

Nothing anybody else paints is a hint to anything later on, so why should the viewer pick up on this? It’s just a thing anybody could paint. If anything, Freidborg painting the void over there could have been some real foreshadowing cause that’s different and stands out, but it isn’t.

It’s not on screen long enough to register for the audience. If you’re only going to notice something after the fact then it’s not a meaningful clue. Real foreshadowing has to be detectable and the audience needs to be able to plausibly figure out a twist before it happens or you’ve got a bad twist that’s not integrated into the story.

There’s no other evidence to backup the twist. All we get is one framing shot of a mirror and that brief talk with Eugene in in the cell in Cassandra vs. Eugene. That’s not enough. And no, Chris claiming her ‘dress is blue’ as a hint is utter bullshit, cause there’s Freidborg right there wearing the exact same dress.

If MoonCass was always a thing that the writers intended to happen, which we do have evidence for given released production artwork and Chris’s own discussions about the show’s development, then they needed to put more effort into establishing the character and setting up her arc.

The very fact that viewers can easily pick out supposedly non-existent ‘hints’ with other characters like Freidborg and Varian, but not pick up on the actual twist, means that the writers failed to communicate clearly with their audience. That is on them and not the viewers, no matter what Chris says.

Conclusion

This episode is frustrating. Much like the pilot, it offers up good ideas but then never properly follows up on them. To make matters worse, it winds up distracting from the plot that viewers actually care about rather than furthering.

#tangled the series #tangled #rapunzel's tangled adventure #anti-tangled #zhan tiri #rapunzel #anti-rapunzel #cassandra #varian

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aeide-thea · 5 years ago

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This is a gentle request for any Geraskier fics you want to rec, because the number of them in the tag is a bit overwhelming but I KNOW there are gems in there 👀

i’m pretty sure i’ve reblogged things in the past! but it’s true that i haven’t done that in any systematic way, so—let’s see. under the cut are 20-ish recs alphabetized by author, which seemed like a good way of avoiding having to make any hierarchical declarations:

o, empathy by almostnectarine/@nectarine-pit: bodyswap! i forgot how much i loved this fic. geralt and jaskier walk a mile in each other’s shoes, and learn to appreciate each other better; this is keenly observed and thought-through, and frequently extremely funny. a thoroughgoing delight.

Jaskier pulled a face and swiveled the straps such that both swords almost fell from their scabbards at once, ruining the moment. “Geralt,” he said, “this leather itches. You’ve lived five lifetimes—” “Not that old,” said Geralt, in protest, and then, considering: “Maybe three.” “—and you never once thought, hm— oh, I see why you do that all the time, it is quite fun, isn’t it— hm, maybe I’ll add a little padding?!” His mimicry of Geralt’s tone was very good, although perhaps it was cheating, when the voice was already the same.

public displays of affection by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: geralt and jaskier go to a sex party! (not to be confused with the other fic by sospes in which geralt and jaskier go to a sex party, which is also excellent.) if that wasn’t enough of a sell, well, you confuse me, but—the flavor of the power dynamic here is a little complex and unusual in a way i enjoyed, plus frankly the description of geralt stripped down for this party is really, uh. really A Lot. i admit to being biased in favor of sex party stories in general but this one is definitely a keeper.

to you always, also by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: in which geralt is a demanding, insatiable bottom. ...honestly, this fic has significantly more emotional weight to it than that description might suggest, but i still stand by it. also the initial setup is just really funny to me, because jaskier getting hilariously outraged by geralt’s sheer infuriating geralt-ness is, like, my fave flavor of jaskier. (that’s a lie, every flavor of jaskier is my favorite flavor of jaskier, but i do really delight in this one.)

@blossomsinthemist’s mixing memory and desire series (wip) is basically my favorite thing ever, like, just truly perfectly crafted to please me personally. it’s h/c, and just astonishingly luxuriant and languorous and lovely—or, okay, let me actually just quote a comment i left on an early chapter:

this is just so exquisitely tender and molasses-lovely-sweet so far, my god the glimpses we get dimly through geralt’s hazy bemused perception of what jaskier’s feeling are so heart-clenchingly poignant—and then of course the glimpses of what geralt himself is feeling for jaskier without understanding it, this stunned rapt gratitude for everything jaskier is doing but also everything jaskier is, the lovely gentle sturdy solicitous gift he is & keeps making of himself to geralt, who would probably call it undeserved except that of course we can see precisely what in geralt has tugged this tenderness from jaskier, this terrible aching wounded gallantry that’s so astonished to meet with respite…

the meet death sitting (wip) series by @bomberqueen17 is my other favorite thing—much plottier than the previous, with a much wider cast of characters, and while i’m ultimately in it for the geralt/jaskier and therefore being strung along in exquisite agony while all sorts of plot things get in the way of any real resolution of that, it’s honestly worth it; what you lose in immediate gratification you gain in, like, a sense that this story inhabits a real, full world, with real events that aren’t just arranged to suit our heroes’ convenience. if i could only get you to read two things it would be this series and the previous one: between them they have my heart. anyway i guess i may as well quote myself again:

it’s the rich realistic interweaving of things that’s so remarkable here, how the absolute throat-thickening aches run abruptly up against the entirely mundane and all of it has to be coped with, because that’s life, and this story has life within it, in a realer way than probably anything else in the fandom, maybe anything else i’ve read in a long time. and of course a large part of me is so, so desperate for geralt and jaskier to finally come back together, with enough time and space to settle into a mutual secure tenderness instead of the current wordless, longing, poised-always-to-spring-away-like-deer-in-a-forest situation; but the story is coaxing me into a more adult patience, an appreciation for the smaller quieter incidental pleasures that aren’t the one subsuming great love, and then also teaching me to live with the wounds one inevitably acquired along the way, the pull and ache of those that makes the whole thing real, not a shining fantasy but a homely pie with a rich satisfying filling, savory and bolstering.

my body bruises at your touch by @brawlite: jaskier gets tied up by geralt as bait for the monster of the week, and discovers he likes it quite a bit. smut (and then aftercare) ensues.

demand an encore (wip) by emamel/@theaceace: jaskier is a witcher of the viper school, or used to be. he doesn’t remember it, but geralt does.

it’s been a while since i read this, but the way the layers slowly start fitting together is really satisfying: all the joy of what i think the kids call ‘identity porn,’ with the twist that here, it’s geralt who knows both identities, and jaskier who’s still in ignorance. ugh, i want chapter 3 now.

musica universalis by flirtygaybrit is bookverse and clearly so—it’s not romantic, but there’s a particular ambiguous flavor of solicitous tenderness that elevates this ‘friendly drunken hookup’ scenario to something memorable for me.

of cherries and dandelions by heyriel: in which a still-virginal jaskier bites off more than he can chew, and tries to disguise it until he can’t anymore. as i said to the author:

this is lovely and realistic in its navigation of, like, trying to Be Cool and the ways that can sometimes get you in trouble as a young sexplorer—geralt is so good to jaskier here and i’m having feelings about it!

also geralt uses a dildo on jaskier, which was not a thing i’d known i wanted before reading this, but it turns out i’m very decidedly here for it! i haven’t seen a ton of sex toys in geraskier fic and this story makes me wish there were more.

gentle-sharp and strange by lisztful has some excellent touch-starved pining geralt, also a performatively public bath scene with very satisfactory sexual tension, also an Ancient Tradition which is maybe the thing i remember most about this fic.

i know that you would want it (if i could sink my teeth into you) by objectlesson is... look, there’s an actual emotional arc to this story, but really what i always remember about it is that it’s got the most overwhelmingly visceral rimming scene i’ve maybe ever read? it’s a lot, it’s a gift, go read it.

@pasdecoeur has several stories that are very funny with some very piercingly erotic moments! briefly sketched in some ways and more pining than porny but no less effective for it.

benefits by @shastafirecracker is a pwp story in which jaskier is first surprised to find geralt wants him to top, and then determined to give geralt the best dicking he’s ever had. jaskier’s inner dialogue in this one is really fun; geralt’s exterior dialogue is true to the show in that it’s minimal but nonetheless includes a bad pun. :)

even a small love by shecrows/@leighway is like. you think you know how things are going to go, and then jaskier balks and it abruptly swerves sideways and develops a whole plot, and then comes back around to where it started, but deeper and better. don’t you love how you can summarize a fic without saying anything meaningful or even helpful about it? anyway: read this one.

snowmelt by silklace/@silkcoeur is a/b/o and somehow both extremely hilarious and extremely hot in full measure. the banter is a fucking delight but so are the tension/sex/feelings.

It wasn’t until they were well on the road away from town that it really hit him, though possibly he should have been paying attention to the way the backs of his knees had started sweating the minute he’d seen Geralt walking towards him outside of Yennefer’s manor, or to the way his throat had gone hot and dry despite the taste of sweetness still on the back of his teeth from the wine skin he’d pilfered from her pantry on his way out. In his defense, he’d still been recovering from spending the prior evening steadfastly spitting his insides up onto his outsides. Also, he tended to always get a little sweaty around Geralt, a fact they were both apparently extremely united in assiduously pretending was not happening.

the sevenfold path by star_flaming/@europeansdomusicalsbetter: in which jaskier is demonstrably extremely well educated, and geralt has feelings about it. (i also have feelings about it, but mine are in my pants.)

you are in my blood by @suzukiblu: au where jaskier is a bruxa. this alters his character significantly—hard to be too skittish about bloodletting when you’re a vampire!—but the story’s so engaging you probably won’t care? plus, uh, hot. :)

Jaskier’s just debating how much trouble he’s actually in when Geralt, marvelously, talks them out of it. After that, well... Jaskier still wants to eat him very badly, but he supposes it’d be a bit ungrateful of him. Geralt isn’t very impressed with the song he writes for him, unfortunately—which, rude—but doesn’t try to run off and leave him either, so.. Well, Jaskier’s a bit smitten. A delicious-smelling witcher who can talk his way out of being murdered is very impressive. And he always has wanted a pet.

taran (@iamtaran)’s manhandling without plot series has no sex but lots of violent, compellingly visceral hijinks and i like to think of it as preslash. three times geralt hauls jaskier out of trouble.

Jaskier is flat on his back with his chemise rucked up to his armpits, salve burning on his bruised ribs, breathing hard; he is drunk, but not nearly as drunk as he was when he threw that first punch; Geralt is stupidly strong and has him pinned beneath one hand and the sheer girth of his own hips, looking grumpy and short on patience, and under everything—the aromatic menthol and chamomile smell of the salve, the aching of his cheek and lip, the relief of seeing Geralt just as upright and uninjured as he had been when he left, Jaskier is… He had thought he was furious. He still is, somewhat. Like… like a seed is a flower. It was, at first, before it became something else. And given enough time it might become such again. It is what it is in the meantime, however. Fury. Seeds.

last but not least, @toyhto has a bunch of fics that crack me the fuck up: geralt is unbelievably oblivious to his own emotions even as he acts on them, and it’s just—it’s so, so funny. also sometimes quite sweet, and sometimes quite painful! there’s a particular air of, i don’t know, almost see-spot-run impenetrability to the writing here that lends itself perfectly to the thing the stories are doing, where geralt is just operating totally on a surface level and, like, feelings are moving in the deep but he can’t quite see them...

...and that’s all for now! more to come later, maybe; but this seems like plenty for a first pass, and anyway i’m blurbed out.

#the witcher #geraskier #fic #recs

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aspiestvmusings · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Thoughts: Ep 8

Warning: Contains SPOILERS up to the end credits scene of ep 1x08. And “speculation” about the Finale.

1. I was wrong about several things in my theories. But I was pretty close with some other things.

2. I still presume the timestone blast in “inifity war” might have made her even more powerful/unlocked more of her powers, but her backstory revealed that she “absorbed” the energy from the stone during her first contact with it....already, also .She is literally a living infinity stone...in a way. She absorbed the “energy” of the stone & is connected with the stone...as we’ve seen throughout the MCU history. And she’s kinda “absorbed it twice”? (so, in a way, she has been carrying VIsion’s soul inside her for a while... so makes sense she would “create” him, because they are literally of the same mind(stone))

3. All. The. Colours. ... Differen t colours of their powers/magic... coming from all these characters: Blue. Purple. Yellow. Red... The colours of the infinity stones. The colours of “characters powers”.... All the colours of the rainbow/spectrum. I completely see the last shot of the show being a rainbow above WestView (cause the colours of everyones powers are the colours of the rainbow...)

4. My theories were wrong, because I based them on the hypothesis that she cannot create things from nothing...that she can just change their “dna” & shape. If I had presumed that she can create things from nothing, I might’ve been more accurate about...Vision...and more. She seems to have created vibranium, an infinity stone, and a soul... “out of nothing”... when she/her grief created a vision... UNLESS... that was an incorrect guess by Agatha, and Hex Vision is more like his episode 2 stage name suggested... an Illusion. Though I have a hard time believing/understanding it, I’ve tried to accept that in comics & fiction things that don’t follow laws of physics can be & are true. And she did create Vision from “nothing”..even if in real world that is impossible...

5. In the past few days before ep 8 I had started to believe the theories about “double vision”. And unless there is also a cameo coming with an appearance of some other actor, Paul Bettany’s comment about doing a scene with an actor who he had always wanted to work with was... the best joke ever... cause he was most likely referring to himself. And the way it is similar to the “Luke Skywalker” Mandalorian camero is not because of the actor, but because of the CGI used. I love that this is most likely the answer here. [and in that case I kinda think that the “fireworks” could be a scene similar to when Tony asked Jarvis to activate the Clean Slate Protocol in IM3, cause we are dealing with more than one “copy” of the same “tech” here... & they can be blown up like that...]

6. We also got a much more clearer look on Hayward’s evil plans. And I'm now seriously starting to suspect the theories that connect WV to AoU...in a meaningful way. I’m not gonna say it, but I think you get my point. We’ve all known all along he’s up to no good. Even if he is “just” another “government baddie” and not Ultron’s puppet/puppeting Ultron. And I'm still unsure if he is aware that he’s essentially waking up Ultron or will that be a surprise to him...

7. Paul Bettany’s journey in MCU is about to become full: he started as the VOICE of JARVIS (AI/machine) that Tony built/created. He then appeared in physical form (body and voice) as The Vision since AoU. And now it seems possible that we’ll see him play Vision, while someone else provides the VOICE over for the character. But we also know, “thanks” to Spiderman 2 (released last year, but taking place several months after WV events in the MCU) that the Vision we have known & loved does not survive this hex reality. I wish there’ll be a surprise twist, but I sadly doubt it.

Before the show started to air, I had no doubt the character was done... I was 99% sure there is no way he could come back & WV is just a dream or something like that. But as the show has progressed, Ive started to think there are ways it could happen. None of them really fit with the shows theme & point. Just like Tony had to die for the sacrifice to be as impactful Vision has to die/remain dead for Wanda’s grief journey to come to a conclusion. She has to reach the final stage(s) of grief, accept the loss & move on. Though... we can arue that Vision could live & she finally deals with the greif for her parents & brother. And/Or Vision “lives”, but it’s not her Vision...she can’t feel him. So he starts his journey from the start...to learn to be “human”, etc.

I mean.. I wish we would get the merging of the two (sides) of Vision - the soulless body of whitevision + the “created by Wanda” Vision with soul (even if with no memories of pre-hex). But based on Spiderman 2: FFH “in memoriam” clip Vision is one of the fallen avengers next to Tony & Nat. But then again, Steve/Cap was also in that clip, so perhaps there is still hope... that Wanda/the hex will merge the two & this is how we/Wanda gets her Vision back. And it’s just kept under wraps. And if it’s not Ultron, then the greatest twist would be if RDJ would provide the new Vision’s voice (until he “gets his soul back”). I mean.. Paul Bettany provided the voice for Tony’s AI/suits, so that’d be a huge thing

8. I hope everyone understood that the town was a mess because it’s literally a few weeks after the Blip. 5 years ago Thanos snapped half of life away, and this is the outcome of it...the small town was probably full of life before that, and now its just “in ruins”. When Vision (and Wanda) bought that property/land it/the town did not look so sad. This is all the result of the snap. And this is why, I think, the word “snap” appears several times on the show (cereal box, add on wall)

9. The origins story from the experimentation with the mind stone scene had the same kind of “rewind” stuff as Wanda’s sitcom episodes. The watchers (blinded by the blast) seem to miss a part of the show. And now Darcy & Jimmy & team seem to miss parts of the show. We are shown that this is kind of due to Wanda “rewinding time”. So...she posesses the “power” of several infinity stones, kinda, it seems.

10. I’m starting to think that perhaps one theory that was flooting around is correct. The “Wanda arrives to Westview” scene where she sees several of the residents could imply so. We only see one part of each couple. And within each couple the one who “glitches” (Mr. Hart choking in ep 1, Vision malfunctioning cause of gum in ep 2, etc..) is not seen, only their other half. So is the town “in ruins” not just because of the blip? Maybe it was populated by people who lost their loved ones in the Snap & all moved to this town after that? And hence weren’t at the place their other half was returned to now, 5 years later? Or...the other halves are all dead, and hence everyone looked sad & alone? Maybe it was more thaan just the chaos creted by the snap & blip?

11. Where were Vision (who was flying back to the house) & Monica + Fietro? during this episode? Well..all of ep 8 happens in just a few moments... simultaneously to what was happening with Vision(/Darcy and Fietro/Monica in the end of ep 7, so...they will arrive..soon.

12. I do not know how it could happen or work (considering what we already know to be true), but since they pointed out in episode 1 that “The death rate of single men is twice that of married men" & Hex Vision is married, while White Vision is not (also...will he remain himself when entering the hex or will he chanage form to fit the year/era that episode 9 is set in...which, I’d say might be a decade before rel time 2023, because the boys are 10... cause this version is essentialy a machine, so if it doesn’t match the era, then the hex changes it), then that would lead me to speculate that Hex Vision defeats White vision. So now the question remaims if the vibranium/empty shell will remain or will it be vaporized... cause if the materils cotinue existing they can still re-built/re-create Vision in future. Cause unless both die, and unless some otehr surprise (going through the hex changes Hex Vision and/or he has competed his journey & become a separate indivudual, a real being, then there’s no way he can survive outside/without the hex. But that quote tells us which Vision wins the fight

xxx

#WandaVision #SPOILER #WandaVision spoilers #WandaVision spoiler #WandaVisionSpoilers #Wanda #Vision #The Vision #Wanda Maximoff #Wanda Vision #Wanda x Vision #MCU

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meibemeibelline · 4 years ago

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highlights from that 32k word doc i wrote when i marathoned gazette’s songs (2002-2007)

PART 2 | PART 3

Some quick notes:

This is a combo of thoughts on music, lyrics and sometimes just funny things I found while I was hurriedly typing at 11pm listening to these songs. Not every song will be featured in these, sorry

At times I directly quote translations and when I do I’ll specify who I’m quoting, but just so you know first they are all either Defective Tragedy, Heresiarchy or Trauma Radio

Also, I’m planning on writing some longer essay-type things with these notes so there might be some things I skip over (such as a recurring theme in their songs) bc I want to use them elsewhere

CONTENT WARNING FOR LYRIC DISCUSSIONS: suicide (Ganges ni Akai Bara). i will bold the title so you can skip it if you want. it’s one paragraph long

HHHH this is already 2k words but anyway hope u enjoy my ramblings

“I’d have to take a break from feminism to appreciate [Akai One Piece]”

“His delivery is still highly emotional and [Okuribi] overall is really emotional. Like the fact you can still hear and FEEL the sheer bittersweet feelings (mostly sadness) of someone you love passing away is like...really telling of 2002 gazette’s potential”

(Doro Darake no Seishun) “Bitch Aoi and Uruha are serving LOOKS like the red tartan blazer with the black shorts???? And Uruha with the red tank top and the pleather skirt with the garters THE OTHER GIRLS WISH THEY WERE HIM”

(Haru ni Chirikeri, Mi wa Kareru de Gozaimasu) “it’s about a flower that’s in love with a one-winged butterfly, and i imagine the point is that even though they sing songs for each other, they’re just so different that they don’t understand each other and they can’t be together. and they’re just...fated to end, and maybe try again next spring. and you can see that in human relationships too.”

“Akuyuukai i think is such a significant turning point musically like i just FELT a significant shift where they were really painting with their music and having it be more closely connected with the lyrics”

“[Linda Candydive Pinky Heaven] is a happy and fun song!! it’s doro darake no seishun’s cuter and cooler older sister. this also gave me a lot of serotonin and i’m glad this is a classic. it’s also this band’s first fan song (or closest to a fan song) and i think it’s quite meaningful because they were picking up as a band and were starting to really connect with people which is always so so great. and i think it’s cool that many songs before this were fun songs to jam out to but linda is specially DEDICATED to that. it’s so carefree and i think like...this is the exact thing many musicians love about performing and what fans love about concerts. it’s the escapism and just the SPACE to be yourself and have fun. it’s so freeing.”

(Black Spangle Gang) “I can’t believe GazettE were doing 2005 Miyavi before Miyavi did 2005 Miyavi”

(The Murder’s TV) “I think it’s cool how playful they make it sound -> like a creepy show that kids might see and the last chorus is pretty good. it’s a bop AND THE BASS AND GUITAR SOLOS SLAP. The lyrics are really interesting too and I LOVE the way Ruki embodies them with his voice”

“BITCHHH MAD MARBLE HELL VISION SLAPS. THIS IS WHAT I CALL NOISE MUSIC!!!!!!!”

“The composition on Kawareta Haru, Kawaneru Haru is actually SO good (and the costumes are fucking ICONIC). And Ruki is STILL getting better at singing. The chorus is melodic and the effects on the guitar just go so well like I think the others (probably since Akuyuukai actually) have been really getting to play with all sorts of effects on their instruments to make this new variety of sounds which is super rad. AOI SOLO SUPERIORITY BTW.”

“Indie gazette really love their key changes in the bittersweet songs in the last choruses.”

“Comparing the lyrics of [Sumire] to many of the last ‘goodbye’ songs, there’s a lot more imagery and scene-painting as opposed to like, just direct thoughts and feelings. And that’s really Ruki developing as a writer, I think, as his lyrics are becoming more subtle and open to different interpretations which is super cool! Like this is really him finding his voice and I know he’s going to be doing more of this over the years.”

“ANATA NO TAME NO KONO INOCHI SLAPS BUT THE LYRICS ARE FUCKED. LIKE, I KNEW THIS FROM THE BEGINNING BUT I REALLY WISH I WAS JARED, 19.”

“I LOVE MISEINEN SO FUCKING MUCHHHHH. I can only begin to imagine just HOW significant this song is for Ruki. This is him acknowledging his weaknesses and his flaws, looking around him and seeing the people he has, he writes about what he’s afraid of, he writes about how he’s going to change and move forward, what is MOST VALUABLE to him. This is A LOT. This is A LOT for anyone. It is a song about GROWTH – how he wants to grow yet is terrified of change, but even so is going to do it with the help of his support system. This is EVERYTHING. It’s raw and brave and so very beautiful. It has Wakaremichi and BEST FRIENDS energy. These three songs are best friends. And also like, for the last couple of releases Ruki’s been doing lots of wordplay and metaphors and using euphemisms, but this set of lyrics is just completely honest and STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART. Like, there ARE metaphors and symbols but he’s talking COMPLETELY about himself and his FEELINGS. I get emo whenever I listen to this song.”

(Carry?) “Apparently it’s about Frankenstein’s monster, so I guess this is another Concept Song. So this explains the flat vocals – the monster is undead but also…very sad and confused about what it is and its place in the world. ISN’T THAT ALL OF US ON SOME LEVEL…HAHA…”

“Zakurogata no Yuutsu is that 2010 fb meme where someone sees their partner right before going into a heart surgery only to wake up to find they’re gone and the doctor is like ‘omg who do you think gave you the heart😔’”

“WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID I SLEEP ON HANAKOTOBA. THIS IS AOI SONG SUPERIORITY. THE GUITAR SOLO IS ALSO GORGEOUS. Also love what he did with the melody getting higher in the end when the narrator questions the existence of the love they lost. AND THEY DIDN’T RESOLVE THE FUCKING CHORD PROGRESSION OHHH MY GODDDD BECAUSE “I’LL WITHER AWAY, NEVER KNOWING THE ANSWER” //THROWS. THESE GENIUSES. THIS IS THE BEST SONG ON THE ALBUM SO FAR AND THAT’S👏ON👏AOI👏SUPERIORITY👏Also I know that, literally, Hanakotoba is a flower on the side of the road but LISTEN. This is a soul that just wants love...This is the anthem for us lonely invisible bitches <3 This song has the MOST yearning. Thank u Aoi for my life. Like he is TRULY the composer with the most emotionality.”

(Tokyo Shinjuu) “I LOVEEEE THE BASS. This has a very old, classic Japanese style and it’s just…so good. You can really hear it in the melody. Also there’s just something SO feminine about it and I KNOW it’s that classic Japanese sound and like…god I love this gender bending with music. I adore the guitars too I think there’s such a good balance between them.”

(Shichigatsu no Youka) “I love how the lyrics are between sections too – the most emotional parts are in the big, emotional chorus, and the verses are more mellow when the narrator is sort of…more detached and Not Crying… The guitar melodies are really pretty and the solo is just GORGEOUS. It’s such a bittersweet song as well (god GazettE just do bittersweet EXTREMELY WELL) like bruh…already being sad over a breakup and OH DOUBLE WHAMMY THEY’VE MOVED ON like. Ruki sweetie I’m so sorry.”

[a rant about how I know Saraba is well-meaning and is about the peace and unity of a nation and is EXPLICITLY anti-war which I can definitely appreciate but my Chinese ass was just NOT having the whole painting the Japanese army as heroes deal]

(Reila) “Ruki’s vocals are SO GOOD here. ALSO YELLING AT THE BASS AND KICK DRUM BEFORE THE SECOND VERSE WITH THE PIANO. THE WAY THE KICK DRUM PANS THRU THE EARS. MOTHERFUCKER. AND THEN TO COME IN WITH THE GUITAR SOLO HOW DARE!!!!! YOU PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS!!!!!”

“COCKROACH SLAPS. Love that he reframes being compared to a cockroach as like, resilient (I’ll never break through -> I want to believe I’ll break through), and he’s embracing his crudeness and taking a huge dose of PHUCEMOL.” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Sugar Pain) “God Aoi’s intro though………..I HATE THE BREATHING SO MUCH. No I’m actually really angry right now why is it actually good. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE GOOD.” (I then had to stop after the first chorus for obvious reasons)

“Idk why the first thing I thought of when Bite to All started was ‘yeehaw’…[Also] I hate how I know exactly who is screaming at the end and when.”

“BTS 🤝 GazettE Gunshots in songs”

[My personal interpretation of Nausea & Shudder is not that it’s about the pressure of being true to oneself in the face of success, but rather that success itself is not what Ruki expected it to be and he’s figuring out how to navigate that and move forward. It is also just a really good set of lyrics.]

“There’s just a hopelessness that’s so profound in [Bath Room]. Like if depression was a song IT WOULD SOUND A LOT LIKE THIS… Up until this point this is the Darkest song AND WE’RE ONLY GONNA GET DARKER FROM HERE *sweats in DIM*”

“I love these unsaid words Ruki leaves in the booklets. Adds layers and messages for the listener (usually of hope)”

(Silly God Disco) “After reading the lyrics I love this song soo much more. Like it’s actually really nice to think about dancing and living life because you have rock music and it makes you happy. Also the FUNK. The flavour. Not only that, but the way Ruki SWEARS he will live happily, without fear, and always moving past pain and towards freedom and glory. And he INVITES the listener with him. This is just SO nice.”

“I think it’s interesting that like…for an album that is sort of Known to be depressing as hell, there are quite a lot of songs about resilience and just…living and moving forward. Depending on what the rest of the albums are about, NIL might actually be, weirdly, the one with the most hope in it.”

(Worthless War) ““Do you shoot first so you won’t get hurt? / Do you call that sort of thing ‘justice’” damn Worthless War spilled. This sounds like a whole lot of anxiety surrounding war, and a very strong criticism against the government for caring more about power than people. Even though violence is despair, he also says that this age of political tension and FEAR is also despair. And he is correct. Ruki: ALSO THE EARTH IS DYING???” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Rich Excrement) ““Lyric killer is erectile dysfunction” + “Biters should check it out too” -> you’re a limp dick who rips off other people’s work I AM SCREAMINGGGGGG.”” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

(Crucify Sorrow) “The main metaphor here is someone who is an insect with a broken shell – an empty person. With depression, probably…And I cannot help but think about Utsusemi, in which he uses this EXACT metaphor to describe himself and his own depression, his loneliness and his desire to disappear. Was this a coincidence??🤔”

(GANGES NI AKAI BARA) “I really like this song – music and lyrics both. Like even though it’s sad that the girl was in a lot of pain, kills herself and is condemned by her church, the narrator bringing her to Ganges and doing a sacred ritual for her so that she can find salvation is actually really really kind and meaningful??? Not only because it’s an act of kindness but also because the pain she was experiencing was emotional/mental (with the constant tsu-tsu-tsura-tsura-tsurai), salvation could relieve her soul from exactly that.” (Apparently Ruki said the narrator is Buddhist but in the context of the song Hindu makes more sense, so I’m just going with that)

(Calm Envy) ““If you could love even these words I’ve thrown your way / I could keep trusting only you as you stand in front of me / It hurts every time you bring up the past you’ve suddenly shown me / I want to love even that empty space where I don’t exist / I’ll wipe away my tears so you wouldn’t notice them / So don’t smile in front of me anymore than this” – SHUT UP THIS SHIT IS REALLY UNCONDITIONAL BUT THEY’RE TIRED OF BEING HURT. GOODBYE. GOODBYEEEEE.” (Cr: Heresiarchy)

(Circle of Swindler) “Ruki writing "how much do you buy us for? let's negotiate [the] value of pain" in circle of swindler to demand respect and acknowledgement of his worth from the higher ups of the music industry because it's the music born from his pain that's making their money is Quite sexy” (Cr: Defective Tragedy)

“[Stacked Rubbish] is about the baggage we have, the baggage we give each other, the Errors we make precisely because we are People who have souls. I think the point (of this album being like an anthology) is that everyone could find something in this album that speaks to them.”

#the gazette #the gazette ruki #uruha #the gazette aoi #reita #the gazette kai #ruki #aoi #kai #if you're on mobile and following any of these tags i'm SO sorry #if this pops up without the cut #also wow i'm really procrastinating HARD

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