#wish i could draw this actually but im not in resource right now for this (( might get to it though but i just needed to get this out srry

[gummy-wormies-blog]

mobius just stands still, sunrays warm on his skin.

he sighs quietly, not looking at anything in particular.

letting time pass.

after a couple of minutes, he looks up, determined.

"okay, enough time has passed, it's time to get loki back."

mobius mutters softly, his expression getting serious, as he pulls up the tempad.

he can't just let him go like that after all this, after all that happened. he will work it out.

he will find him. he will get to him.

he won't let loki be alone.

ever again.

[kavehpilled]

ALL of them.

OK SO YIU HATE ME

1. how many followers do you have?

somewhere around 1.7k i lost track a long time ago

2. whens the last time you went on a date?

june? its been so long ☹️

3. how many posts have you made?

WELL over 20k this account is 3 years old

4. what type of shoes do you wear?

white avia elevates or my blue converse

5. what color are the walls of your room?

cream at my moms, brown at my dads

6. where are you right now?

in english im about to pull the trigger

7. would you consider yourself good at art?

perchance…. i know im alright enough at it that people like my art and make it their pfp sometimes. i even have a mutual that printed a drawing i did of atsushi and put it on their wall💀

8. who was your first kiss?

you😛

9. do you still sleep with stuffed animals?

YEA LIKE 5 LMFAO

10. whats your favorite piece of clothing you own?

i have a really nice red cardigan that i basically live in at home

11. do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban all around i think i dont remember

12. whats your favorite store to shop at?

goodwill🫶

13. if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

gentle i think

14. do you collect anything?

classic novels! im restarting my collection of tiny bear figurines and friendship bracelets tho

15. whats the last thing you ate?

i had a banana applesauce like an hour ago :)

16. if you go to therapy, do you like your therapist?

i go once a month and shes nice! got me referrals for diagnoses so that was chill

17. whats one thing you want to buy, but dont have the money or resources to get it?

WRIOTHESLEY DOLL.

18. whos the first person you can think of?

you

19. how old were you when you found out santa wasnt real?

i think ~5? my cousin told me :(

20. if you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what would it be?

jjk bro pls revive and continue for me. i need satosugu to be happy

21. do you consider yourself a part of any alternative subculture?

i dont think so!

22. who was your childhood favorite music artist?

taylor swift or sir mix a lot

23. cds or record players?

despite my extensive cd collection i would say records

24. do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

i wish but i think too rationally for any of that

25. would you get back together with an ex if given the opportunity?

i think people always deserve a second chance and we are legitimate living proof of that, even if that concept like translates into relationships. im nowhere near ready for anything right now but if i ever got back together with ANYONE they would have to change a lot. i have hope in everyone tho

26. favorite kids show character?

kwazii from octonauts :)

27. is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend?

yeah!

28. when youre sad, do you prefer to listen to music to match your mood, or listen to happy music?

sad music all the way. i rarely cry so when im genuinely upset its nice to get it out to sad songs yk

29. whats the last outfit you wore?

im a chronic outfit repeater so. white turtleneck under a dark green sweater that has pumpkins all over it and dark brown cargo pants. ive worn this like 10 times

30. do you have any online friends?

YES alice ezra and skylia are the ones i talk to the most!! but i have a lot of mutuals i love interacting with ppl

31. least favorite clothing style that is currently popular?

those white fox hoodies make me carnally angry

32. how often do you do your laundry?

once a week at my dads, twice a week at my moms. its a weird system but i have more clothes at my moms currently

33. do you prefer silver or gold jewelry?

gold, silver makes me look sad and grungy

34. whats your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?

i like reading cherry crush on webtoon when im bored💀🙏

35. if you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?

id probably dye it to calico colors but im scared ill look like a goof

36. do you paint your nails?

sometimes! i did them blue like for a day and then i got bored. i pick at them too much so its like a little treat

37. whats an uncommon/specific/ obscure topic youre interested in?

vampire burial practices and eastern european rituals

38. whats the name of your first pet?

KITTY💀 he was an orange cat that got eaten by coyotes

39. whats one feature you would change on tumblr?

im not active enough to notice anything…

40. whats the most interesting item you own?

i think a tiny glass giraffe i love him

41. would you rather go on a date at a museum or a concert?

museum all the way i love intimacy with that kinda thing

42. whats one regret you have?

i could go into extensive detail about what i seriously regret in my life but i think my main one is not telling you enough before we split apart

[sky-forest-inn]

getting out of school for one last time and enjoying summer break is cool and all but something altered my brain and made it so that all of my headmates gradually faded as the summer went on and now I can't even see them much less feel their presence anymore :( I think this is what people call fading

and it SUCKS!! because we're a small system and pretty much everyone disappeared as well as our headspace which turned back into a void, another person formed(?) during the time but it feels more like an alter ego rather than their own headmate considering I feel wayy too connected to them to actually separate myself from them

when this first happened it was only for a few days and I thought I was "normal" again considering being a system was a foreign concept I was still grasping at the time (+I thought being a system separated my connection to the body, making the body a vessel I was merely puppeteering). now that I've actually experienced what it's like I don't ever regret being a system ☝️ if anything I'd hit that guy again just so I could see them again /j

I genuinely hate how my brain "fixed" me, being a singlet again isn't the positive some people think it is (at least that's how I feel personally), it's to the point where I genuinely dislike using I/Me pronouns in regards to me as a "singlet" rather than me as an individual headmate. however, I also don't want to "take away" people's resources?? (as silly as that sounds) and also "fakeclaim"?? beyond this point even though my experiences as a system were genuine (I don't want to say "former", I'm still in denial about it)

I've been having some wonderful experiences irl and as much as I love what I'm doing right now, I simply WISH they were here to see it. if someone were to give me the option to choose a life without that incident occurring or to keep my plurality, I'm choosing my plurality even if it means going through the same painful experience again

sorry this is 5 paragraphs long LOL, take y'alls time to respond especially since it's artfight and I'm sure you guys want to draw as many people as possible (goodluck btw!!)

—🌌 [ST]

yay summer break (not for me its winter for me)

it happens!!! we get it a lot and it's pretty normal!! there are chances they may come back!!!!

i love punching guys

FR i agree with you wholly we love our inn to death and we'd sacrifice it for NOTHING we love each other so much and im 99% sure cyco wouldve esc r enter'd if he was never a system so i get it entirely

ooiooiioooohhhh youre stealing SHARED resources oughhhh the miserrryyyy /sarc /silly

we dont mind asks like this!!! also i was busy arcaning the odyssey which is why i didnt see this til now bwehehaha

hope things get better for you(y'all's), be safe and allat

[pomegranate-vinegarete]

Lunar was taking care of the children in the daycare for eclipse, like always really, eclipse never actually worked at the daycare, that was what lunar was for- well one of the reasons- lunar knew their purposes intimately, as the failure to complete anyone of them- well the thought made them shudder. Eclipse had taken control of sun nearly two weeks ago and lunar was starting to get used to daycare work, they loved kids- a trait from sun, and they were good at getting them to calm down- a trait from moon. Eclipse had told them early on that they weren’t really a person themselves- just traits from two animatronics that were real moshed together to make what would seem like a real person- all the things sun and moon liked about each other handpicked to be exactly what eclipse wanted- that’s why the way eclipse treated them was ok- they weren’t a real person just some lines of code that eclipse had written to serve his goals, he had the right to do whatever he wanted to his property when they misbehaved, that’s why they deserved it too. One of the kids walked up to lunar-her name was molly if lunar could remember correctly(they didn’t have a server for remembering the children’s names in fact they had very little memory store and eclipse would take out parts they did not strictly need every maintenance- it wasn’t their job to be the smart one anyway so why would they need much storage- it’d be a waste of eclipses valuable time and resources to give them a fully functioning brain, so lunar had written all of the children’s names and a little drawing of them on a piece of paper and taken a mental picture of it- sure to save the paper in a nook just in case eclipse deemed the picture unnecessary and deleted it- lunar knew that was wrong to go against his brothers wishes and keep it just in case but they needed some things, and the drawings they hid were important to them, even after eclipse deleted their memories of why sometimes) the girl- molly showed lunar a drawing she had done during arts and crafts, it was a drawing of herself, lunar, and sun , but lunar looked different; they were shorter, only a little taller than molly and they were glowing (lunar missed when they could glow- but eclipse had deemed it useless so it was gone- ripped it out in one of the most painful matnences lunar had ever had to endure- eclipse had been so mad at them but they couldn’t remember why- eclipse had probably taken that memory out but lunar had the strangest feeling that there hadn’t been one) it was a wonderful drawing and lunar longed to be that version of themselves- happy and safe.

“Mix. Lunar are you ok? you’re crying.”

“oh, im ok its just such a nice drawing- can I keep it molly?”

“yeh! Its for you!”

Molly was smiling widely as she ran of to join the other kids once more, lunar could feel themselves smile back, they should probably put her drawing in there nook with their other art where it’ll be safe- but maybe later, right now they had children to watch.

[avungerthatgotaway]

The Soldier of the Night

heyyyy guys!! this is my first ever request fic and im so excited to do iiiit. please tell me what you think of it in the comments🥰

it's made for this request

summary: y/n finally takes matters into her own hands and escapes hydra. but it won't be as easy as she tought...

warnings: mentions of blood and child neglect

pairings: avengers x teen!reader (platonic)

genre: angst-ish, fluff at the end

Sorry for grammar mistakes.

If you have request feel free to ask🥰

----------------------------

Y/N Y/LN, but no one calls you by that name. To the world you are known as The Soldier of the Night, the merciless murderer. Mothers all over the world use you to teach their kids about most dreadful dangers. People gather around campfire in woods and share scary stories of your cold heart and homicides you don't feel guilty about. You are the biggest fear of each and every government there is in world.

And you always wonder what all those people would say if they knew how old you were. Or that you never kill willingly. Or that you silently pray every night for the victims you harmed or killed in your brainwashed state.

Or that hydra has no control over you anymore. You are currently running, without exact destination, just to get as far from hydra as you can. They are probably alerted of your absence by this point, but you are already in New York, so you can maybe find a hiding spot before they find you.

-

-Avengers pov

-

Nick Fury hurried to the avengers tower, where he called a sudden meeting this morning.

When he came in Steve and Sam were sweaty, probably just came from their morning jog. Bucky was still fighting sleep in his pyjamas, hair sticking out in different directions. Wanda was starring daggers at him for waking her up so early. Tony and Bruce were in lab coats, probably didn't sleep at all. All other avengers were at their respective missions.

"I called this meeting because my resources told me infamous Soldier of the Night is out of hydra HQ. We don't know why, but it's probably another killing mission for hydra. He is currently laying low, somewhere around south entrance to the city. Your mission is to stop him from harming anyone and bring him here. Alive if possible, it would benefit us to know what are hydra's plans at the moment." he finished.

"Alright." said Steve dutifully. "Any information we can get on him before we go?"

"Not much. Only that he is dangerous, and doesn't spare anyone. He is a ghost story. We don't even know if it's a he, that's just a guess."

"Very well. Everyone suit up, I expect you in front of tower in 10." Steve said and left, other avengers following behind.

-

They came back that evening, exhausted of their unsuccessful search. There was no trace of the soldier. But they had to keep looking as long as there's hope to get rid of the monster.

-

-2nd person pov

-

Your heart was racing a hundred miles. You were well aware of the possibility of hydra finding you. But you didn't expect it to be this soon. You were in hiding for only 2 months and they already tracked you down.

Windows broke on your left side and hydra agents started piling in. At the same time on your right side the door broke down revealing whole avengers team, with few additions. You faintly remember one of them as The Winter Soldier, but what was he doing with avengers? Your toughts were cut short by a punch in your face delivered by one of hydra agents.

That's when it snapped: you had to fight for your life. And you probably had to fight both sides.

You started fighting hydra agents, harming them as much as you can without killing.

The avengers stand at the doorstep, and you faintly hear one of them saying "What the actual fuck?". They seemed belivered.

But they soon join the fight knocking out hydra agents. A fist connected with the back of your head, knocking you out into pool of darkness.

-

Light clacking of bottles was the first thing you hear when you wake up. You squint your eyes open, panic finnaly kicking in to where you are. Your first tought was that you were back in hydra HQ, but the room was way too light for that, and hydra wanted you dead.

You started panicking and franatically got out of the bed, trying to escape. Whoever this is, they nean no good. Even avengers want to kill you. But as soon as you got up, black dots invaded your vision, causing you to fall. But before you hit the groung a pair of arms caught you, leading you to sit back in bed.

"Hey, hey sweetie calm down. No one will harm you here. Don't make any sudden movements, your head is still not completely healed." a man told you.

You just layed back and watched him bandage your wrist.

"I am Bruce Banner, by the way. What is your name?" he asked kindly.

"Y/N Y/LN" you whispered, almost inaudibly but he heard it.

"Alright, Y/N. I think I bandaged all your bruises. Rest of the team is waiting out, do you maybe want to meet them?"

By 'team' he probably meant rest of the avengers. You saw a big 'A' painted on the wasll, so that had to be it, right? You immediately shook your head no, eyes widening in fear. You still weren't sure they won't harm you, and meeting them seemed overwhelming in your current state.

"It's okay, calm down. You can meet them later. I will stay with you a little. We could talk if you want?"

You just shrugged your shoulders, not particularly fond of talking with anyone, but not wanting to seem rude because he did help you.

"Okay. How old are you Y/N?" he asked slowly.

"(your age)" you quietly said.

"Dear lord, you really are just a kid. I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through."

You just zoned out, thinking about everything that happened, when something poped up in your mind.

"Mr. Banner?" you asked shyly.

"Call me Bruce kiddo. What is it?"

"I tought I saw The Winter Soldier at the door when you guys came to get me?"

"Oh yes. Bucky. He was also in hydra, as you probably know. He was brainwashed. I suppose you were too?"

"I was, every time I killed somebody. Sometimes I went to missions with other agents and they didn't brainwash me, but I never killed anyone when I was in my senses." You started thinking about your victims as teers pooled in your eyes.

"We supposed so. Do you want me to bring Bucky in a little? Maybe he can help you feel better, because he knows what you're going through."

You slowly nodded, not wanting to reject meeting avengers the second time.

"Alright, he'll be here in a minute." Bruce gave you a gentle smile and patted your shoulder.

A minute after he exited, in came Bucky. He looked better than when you saw him last, but you doubted he's seen you. You were sneaking out, tryna find some food, when you heard and saw agents torturing him. That's about only memory you have of him, along with stories you've heard from other people.

"Hello there doll. How are you? Bruce told me you remember me." he said gently, sitting at the edge of your bed.

"I-I am alright, i guess. Th-thanks. And yes, I do. A little. I was passing by door, when I saw them torturing y-yo-you." you started sobbing a little, the memory bringing back others. Memories of them torturing you. And you torturing other people in your brainwashed state.

"Hey don't cry. It's okay, shhh. Come here." he opened his arms, and you hesitantly scooted closer, not exactly sure what he wanted. He circled his arms around you, and you flinched, thinking he's gonna attack you. But he just gently kept his arms wrapped around you, soothingly rubbing you back. after some time you wraoed your arms around his middle, still not sure what's going on.

But it was a nice feeling. You never felt something like it before. You felt so safe, like nothing could harm you as long as you two stay like that. You wanted to know what was all this about.

"Wha-at are you do-oing?" you asked after you stopped sobbing, but still hiccuping a little.

"Oh, I'm hugging you. Are you uncomfortable? I will stop if you are. Sorry." he said starting to draw back.

"No!" you quickly said, clutching onto him like koala. You were afraid the sense of comfort will leave you as soon as he withdraws from you.

"Shhh, doll. I won't let go. Never. Nothing will ever harm you here kiddo. We will take care of you. You can live normal life, like all other kids. Maybe go to school after you adapt to your surroundings. Here is a kid Peter he is about your age. You can make friends your age. And of course we will be your friends. For as long as you want it."

"Wait, I can live here? I'm not a burden?"

"No, of course not. Don't ever think that, please."

"B-Bu-Bru" you struggled to remember what Bruce told you his name was.

"Bucky. Or James, whichever you prefer kid."

"Oh okay. What are hugs Bucky?"

"Well I'm hugging you right now. You hug people ti show your emotions. Like comfort, thankfulness, happiness, love. It's what friends do."

"Wait wait wait. You never had a hug before?? Like ever????" a new voice boomed. It sounded genuine but way too loud. You flinched instinctively and hid your face in Bucky's shoulder. He tightened his hold on you for comfort.

"Can you be any louder Thor? And no she was practically raised in hydra, they don't exactly hug around." Bucky said.

"I am sorry, lady Y/N. For frightening you, and for my inappropriate question. I am Thor Odinson." he said coming closer to you.

"It's okay Mr. Thor. I'm Y/N Y/LN, nice to meet you." you said shyly.

"Oh it's lovely meeting you too. I came here because brother Stark asked me to ask you if our presence is wished upon now."

"Huh, what do you think, doll? Ready to meet 'em now? No pressure." Bucky quietly asked, only for you to hear.

You tought about it for a second, but if everyone is nice as three you already met, you'd like to meet them all. And with quiet "okay", Bucky nodded to Thor and he left to call the others in.

-

That night you layed in your bed, thinking of that day's events. You met everyone, since no one had missions assigned. They were all really nice to you. Even Loki, which surprised every avenger. You were not sure why tho, Loki was nice, and his voice was comforting. The Maximoff twins were really funny, and Tony already started making you your own room! Everyone else you've met was aweosme: Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam and Rhodey. Peter was shy but nice, he promised to show you some good movies and he was belivered when you said you don't know what those are.

Bucky was still you favorite. He stayed the longest, promising to come and visit you first thing in the morning. You hoped he'll hug you again, you were quite fond of hugs now.

-

Few months passed since avengers saved you. Life couldn't be better at this point. You were home schooling, or rather preparing to go to real school next year. Peter already introduced you to his friends from school you are going to attend. You were training to become an avenger, and it was so exciting.

You were currently having breakfast tho, sitting in between Sam and Bucky who were bickering about one thing or other. Tony was dancing funnily while making pancakes, while Nat was trying to throw as many blueberries as possible at him. You heard Clint somewhere in wents above you, probably setting up a prank. You smiled to yourself. Even though you never knew love, or had a family until two months prior, avengers accepted you. They were slowly becoming your family, and you couldn't imagine your life without them. ;)

[lalosalamcnca]

The Originals 1x09-1x16 Review

So I watched TVD during quarantine last year, and even though I swore to never watch another Julie Plec show again, I’m giving TO a chance! I thought I’d share my thoughts, let people know whether Plec has disappointed me again or how much I love Rebekah Mikaelson. You can also find my 1x02-1x08 review on my blog. 

1x09

No one looks happy to be at Klaus’s dinner lmaoo 

I knew the waiters would be the food…I hate that it looks so cool 

Ooh so Marcel picked up the coin for a reason!! I should’ve known that it was part of a bigger plan

KLAUS IS GOING TO KILL ALL THE WEREWOLVES?! These people really get put through the ringer 

So who’s still in the coffins?? Why bother keeping them around if Kol and Finn are dead?? (Even if they do come back, I still don’t see the logic)

I admire Cami’s resourcefulness, she’s definitely good at working around Klaus’s compulsion

Klaus, don’t call Davina an artist…she can’t draw

Clearly I underestimated the humans!! That’s my bad lol

WOAH MARCEL IS DONE WITH DIPLOMACY, GOING IN FOR THE KILL

Davina is really not intimidating at all 

Not sure what Hayley’s plan is for her, Davina and Josh…maybe they want to play scrabble or bake beignets 

FATHER KIERAN, YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE CAMI WHEN SHE’S CLEARLY DISTRAUGHT?!

I hope that human general gets killed first 

Looks like my wish came true!

A co-leadership between Klaus and Marcel? I can’t see this ending well 

Klaus and Hayley’s relationship is definitely getting interesting, I like their dynamic

Clearly Josh is the only person who isn’t trying to use Davina 

And now Davina’s realized that she’s been played by Marcel…

Klamille is really drawing me in….still, I think she should leave

Oh yeah, Hayley definitely wants a kiss from Elijah  

So…I guess Tyler just dipped?

AWW KLAUS FORGAVE ELIJAH

1X10

REBEKAH IN TIME PERIOD CLOTHING…I LOVE

Ok, Rebekah’s French was at least better than Klaus’s counting

OF COURSE ELIJAH WOULD WALK IN WHEN HAYLEY’S BASICALLY WEARING A WEDDING DRESS 

Surely Marcel or Klaus could easily listen in on Rebekah and Hayley’s conversation?? 

My crackship partnering up together…I like it

FINALLY we’re checking back in on the witches, wtf have they been doing this whole time

DIGGING UP CELESTE’S GRAVE?! Very cruel and disrespectful

Tim’s back! He’s probably gonna suffer or maybe die

OH COME ON, SURELY THOSE VAMPIRES HEARD HAYLEY DIDN’T GO UPSTAIRS

NOW I’M DEFINITELY UP FOR A REBEKAH AND DAVINA TEAMUP, GIVE IT TO ME

This is a really smart move, showing Davina the garden and how Marcel can be cruel 

Yup, makes sense that Klaus had an insurance for whether Davina lives or dies 

Father Kieran, really?! Sean’s death is really not that complicated

Clearly Elijah and Marcel should be the ones running NOLA

Danielle Campbell is a pretty good actress, I definitely felt her pain when Tim died

Wow, those are supremely terrible drawings…you think that evil would look a lot nicer 

Ah yes, I’m sure the whole world will totally believe that vampires exist, Cami

Did not expect Rebekah to be talking to Thierry 

I’M TOTALLY UP FOR REBEKAH MANAGING AN EMPIRE

Wow, so Davina actually drew something somewhat good

1x11

Wow Davina went right in with attacking Marcel

“Poisoning [Davina’s] one true love” well this isn’t going to age well

ELIJAH LOOKS SO DISAPPOINTED ABOUT HAYLEY FINDING CELESTE’S GRAVE, I really can’t blame him

Hayley is really just being shunted off to the sidelines 

MARCEL, COME ON, IM SORRY BB BUT I THINK THE HARVEST RITUAL HAS TO BE FINISHED

Looks like we’re entering the water stage… 

I’m glad that Marcel is learning from his mistakes

ESTHER’S BONES ARE BEING CONSECRATED, GUESSED IT AS SOON AS ELIJAH SAID THERE’S ANOTHER WITCH 

I like that quote, “kill a demon today, meet the devil tomorrow”

Davina’s eyebrows look so nice

Poor Davina, quite a brutal death 

I feel for Sophie Deveraux too, all alone

CMD is giving a great performance!! I ACTUALLY TEARED UP A LITTLE

HAYLIJAH, JUST KISS…GREAT, THEY DIDN’T AND NOW IM ANNOYED 

Yeah, you definitely don’t give Rebekah enough credit, Klaus 

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT SOME NEW WITCHES BACK FROM THE DEAD

SABINE HAS BEEN CELESTE FOR A YEAR WHATT, WHY DIDN’T I SEE IT COMING

1x12

Whatever this witchy ritual is, it looks fun

Elijah in this 1920s suit…AND THE GELLED HAIR…JULIE IS REALLY KILLING ME HERE

Oh come on, Klaus, let Marcel grieve Davina

Ofc my girl Rebekah is being smart about the witches, this is why I love her 

Elijah, Klaus is doing THE BARE MINIMUM. I’m sorry but it’s true, it’s been 1000 years, it’s not a bad thing to be harder on him 

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO MY GIRL BEKAH

I literally forgot about Hayley…

THE REASON FOR HAYLEY AND ELIJAH NOT HANGING OUT SOUNDS SO CHILDISH LOLL 

Marcel’s right, Klaus is pretty indestructible, Cami won’t even make a dent 

REBEKAH IN A 1920s DRESS…LITERALLY SO GORGEOUS 

Marcel looks so cute with his clean-shaven, soldier look 

FINALLY Elijah found Rebekah 

Ngl, I like the father-son references about Klaus and Marcel…they’re kind of heartwarming

So what if you were to try to stomp on a candle that’s involved in a spell? Would it work or would you just bounce right off it?  

Klaus looks kinda jealous of Cami and Marcel….I like it

MARCEL BROUGHT TUNDE INTO TOWN FOR REBEKAH WHATTT

Oh Klaus…really, take a leadership course or something 

OH SHIT, TUNDE MADE IT TO THE GARDEN 

OOOH, I THOUGHT CELESTE WAS THE FINAL OFFERING BUT IT’S ACTUALLY TUNDE…VERY EXCITING

1x13

OMG, IS MONIQUE ALIVE?!

I love that both Marcel and Klaus were watching Cami

Marcel has great sass too, Marbekah is clearly a perfect match

Great, Father Kieran’s been hexed too…this man cannot catch a break

Surely Elijah suspects that Sabine is Celeste? He should know her characteristics and mannerisms 

The witches are putting A LOT of faith in Cami, what if she ends up handing over the blade?  

WOW, I LITERALLY PREDICTED IT…unless it’s a fake

I SEE JACKSON 

THE GUY WALKING IN NAKED ON REBEKAH IM LAUGHING

MONIQUE’S EYES ARE FREAKING ME OUT, MAYBE SHE’S BEING CREEPY ON PURPOSE

YAYY REBEKAH’S HAVING FUN DANCING AWW  

I’m happy that these werewolves get to have fun, they deserve it

The music coming in…they’re already setting up the Hayley x Jackson ship

The baby bump is so confusing, I feel like it’s been inconsistent

OH YES ELIJAH FIGURED IT OUT ABOUT CELESTE

Oh no, Elijah’s been hexed

I love that all this shit is going on and Klaus is just hanging out in a church with Cami and Father Kieran

Loved? I would not venture as far as to say that Elijah loves Hayley

SOPHIE STABBED KLAUS HOLY SHIT

Could the werewolves really have taken the vampires?? We’ve already established that vampires are stronger 

I’m sorry, this whole arranged marriage thing is not as romantic as they’re making it out to be 

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED THAT REBEKAH HAS BEEN PLAYED YET AGAIN BY A MAN

There’s something fitting about an old plantation burning in a fire

I actually liked Sophie, she tried so hard to get Monique back and all so she could die… 

The witches are honestly horrible, Bonnie Bennett supremacy

1x14

My poor Rebekah going through all this hardship

Rebekah looks amazing as a nurse, she looks good in everything

Elijah unbuttoning his shirt, I approve 

Don’t be afraid to examine him too closely, Hayley…I know I would

1920s Marbekah are definitely cute 

I’m loving this recovering Klaus look  

I’m LIVING for this Elijah and Marcel team up!!! 

MY BABY BEKS IS GETTING BEAT DOWN, SOMEBODY SAVE HER

I’m guessing Clara was that friend of Genevieve’s, the other nurse 

I KNEW IT, I WAS RIGHT ABOUT CLARA 

I do feel bad for Klaus, a betrayal like that….even if Klaus has treated Rebekah badly, it’s clear that calling Mikael is next level

THE FAMOUS REBEKAH SCREAM 

I admit, Celeste’s plan is pretty smart in unravelling the Mikaelson family

Ok, that’s a pretty terrible way for Genevieve and “Clara” to die

Klaus has such nice cheekbones

YEAHH HAYLEY HELPING OUT HER FAMILY 

WHEN WILL REBEKAH BE HAPPY AGAIN CMONNN 

Damn this klebekah chemistry

Elijah once again proving why he’s my favourite Mikaelson man

1x15

YAY we’re back in a flashback 

These Mikaelson men look so hot in these 1920s outfits

Well, Elijah’s right about Cami being the best person to greet Klaus

HELL YEAH, FINALLY WE SEE HAYLEY AND THE WOLVES IN ACTION

Idk who plays Sabine/Celeste but she’s doing a great job

Oh Rebekah…by bringing Mikael to town, you basically ruined your own happiness… 

Mikael looks very classy in his 1920s outfit 

Not a great plan if Klaus has already sniffed out what Rebekah and Marcel plan to do

That grimoire page looked so ratty…the text barely looked legible, how can Monique read the instructions

I find it ironic that Mikael calls Klaus an abomination, even though the witches say the same about vampires

That is literally so awkward, Haylijah’s having their moment and Celeste is just hanging out beside them  

Why is Hayley walking away? Where’s she going? 

Celeste is VERY cunning, her plans are top notch 

Damn, Joe’s acting…Klaus’s face when Mikael came over, like he could sense him  

Wow, Mikael is PURE EVIL

Oh damn, Celeste is dead 

SHITT, MONIQUE AND ELIJAH OUTSMARTED CELESTE, DID NOT SEE THAT COMING, I FORGOT ABOUT MONIQUE 

The eyes are less creepy now that I know Monique’s motives 

DAVINA’S BACK!!! 

Klaus found Rebekah…looks like we’re about to get a showdown

1x16

Little Rebekah and Klaus are so adorable

Klaus’s amber eyes and black veins are so fkn cool 

Father Kieran is right, Klaus will be a lot less merciless to Marcel 

I love that Klaus is posing on a grave and doing a mock trial 

REBEKAH COMING IN WITH SOME VALID AND HURTFUL POINTS

ELIJAH HAS BOTH WEAPONS OH DAMN

Klaus can be mad, I get that, but he played a part in bringing Mikael to town. He’d constantly kill Rebekah’s suitors, mistreat her, judge her way too often, everyone reaches a breaking point 

Davina’s right, she’s back to being used and if anything she’s in more danger now than before

Klaus, don’t insult Elijah’s suits. They’re tasteful, and not everyone can pull it off

FANTASTIC. ELIJAH’S BEEN STABBED BY THE TUNDE BLADE. MY FAVES ARE SUFFERING

SO KLAUS BASICALLY PUSHES REBEKAH TO ADMIT SHE WANTED HIM DEAD, AND THEN HE’S SAD WHEN SHE DOES. WHAT DID U EXPECT 

THANK GOD Rebekah isn’t dead 

Oh klebekah…I can see the chemistry but I don’t want to  

CLAIRE AND JOE’S ACTING IS ON POINT

Where is Hayley?? I’ve forgotten about her

Rebekah and Elijah’s relationship is too precious  

I have a bad feeling about this Marcel and Klaus meeting

ELIJAH THROWING MARCEL AND EXILING HIM, DEFINITELY DIDN’T EXPECT THAT

Marcel seems to be complying…? I’m sure he won’t though

Klaus needs to go feel the baby kick or read some pregnancy books, de-stress or something 

GODDAMNIT, WHY CAN’T MARCEL JUST GO WITH REBEKAH…I get why he can’t leave, but still

MY CRACKSHIP SAYING GOODBYE, and finally we know where Hayley is 

Auntie Bex is such a cute name aww

You’d think that Klaus would be wondering about Hayley by now

Goodbye Rebekah, I’m gonna miss you

1x17-1x22 coming soon! Please, DO NOT POST SPOILERS OR HATE COMMENTS. I don’t expect people to agree with my opinions, but being rude is not going to get me to change mine. I haven’t seen the show before, my opinions are probably going to change over time as I keep watching. If you want longer notes on any of the episodes, please ask or message me, I’d be happy to share them. 

[thenamesblurrito]

How did you draft SNAP? I've just gotten to the drafting stage of my comic with my brother but idk if theres some certain way to do it.

it’s taken a bit for me to organize my thoughts on this but I have an answer now, and you might not like it: there IS no some certain way to do it! I’ve been working with comics (and poking into the professional field, too O.O) for a few years now, so I do have some general advice for you-

read comics. really. can’t make a comic if you don’t know what a comic is, and since comics are a very specific medium of sequential visual storytelling, all the elements that make it a comic aren’t easily learned through other mediums. page layout, art style communicating tone, character design, story beats, etc. Scott McCloud has some wonderful books on comics, the Hellboy series is genuinely masterful, and honestly you could reread IDW and call it research. i go back and study my favorite webcomics to try and absorb their excellence: TPOH by @modmad is stunning, @avasdemon is gorgeous, and there’s endless more to browse over at @webcomiclibrary

know your story. this is covered by a Whole Heckin Lot of different places, resources, and writers, so I’ll encourage you to go look at comprehensive help if you need plot assistance. keep in mind that everyone drafts differently! you might need everything plotted out, or you could fly by the seat of your pants. physical writing, digital notetaking, verbal processing, all of it is fine as long as it works for you

THUMBNAIL for goodness sake thumbnail before you dedicate to a page. in fact, make practice versions of everything important. mess with character designs until you’re Absolutely Sure you will be alright with drawing them a bajillion times over and over. but specifically, thumbnails are tiny, rough page layouts. tiny so that you don’t get into any details and you can see how easily the page reads even when small, and rough so you aren’t committing and can keep fiddling. even with pages you’ve had in your head forever, a quick simple thumbnail can help smooth the transition from head to page

there’s other, post-drafting things to consider, like formatting and file size and update schedule and getting it out there, but that’s a whole seminar and I’d like to keep this relatively simple

for me, drafting SNAP was an adventure in taking the puzzle pieces my brain seemed to automatically generate (thank you, MADD) and fitting them together in something resembling order. almost all of the plot and twists presented themselves to me with very little work! arranging them however was a hassle. my episode-by-episode breakdown is uh. a mess. because my drafting process is a stream of consciousness solid block of text. here:

01- Welcome to the Academy! An Upgrade to Primes Orion oh no im late trope, monologue about situation, bumps into megs at front gate as creators are saying goodbye, drags orion inside as excuse to ditch them, cut to trine being weirdos at landing pad, screamers making plans to be awesome but whomp whos that chick its windblade and she can fly in root mode, grr immediate one sided rivalry [... this goes on for awhile]

no punctuation, no capitalization, just wordvomit. not every episode has such specific notes, some just say a general plot hook and some character reactions! this first episode however was daydreamed out until I had a pretty solid series of events

I’m early in thumbnailing right now. wish I was further along, actually I wish I simply had SNAP finished so I could read it myself *sob* BUT. it’s chugging along. my thumbnailing setup is a simple grid I scribble over with new layers for every six pages:

last one is blank because I’m in the habit of arranging pages by side-by-side pairs for printing, since that’s been the usual consideration for the comics I worked on before. you can see how messy these are! and they’re by no means final, either, I think I’m going to have to cut down on some pages once I finish thumbnailing this episode. one thing I have kept in mind for SNAP specifically is anime tropes that I can rip off, hence that fifth page being mostly taken up by Orion running to school with toast in his mouth lol

anyway this got long and I am hardly an expert, still workin on my own comic, but I hope this helps! anyone with more resources, tips and tricks, or advice feel free to chime in too, I’m hardly the entirety of comic knowledge

[mdconfessions]

hi congrats on 1000!! i only found you a few days ago and you’ve helped me a lot already and you seem like a really awesome person (also im an infj too lol). so i am trying to cut back on my time spent daydreaming because my repetitive movement is swinging and it’s getting hot where i live, plus it’s tough when there’s bad weather and i can’t daydream. so i was wondering if there’s any other things i might be able to do like in the car (i have a long road trip coming up lol) or in the classroom? ive been all remote since around the time my daydreaming got really intense so im super worried about not being able to just go outside and swing whenever i get the urge. any ideas?

Hey Anon!

Thanks so much! I literally smiled while reading this :). And yay for INFJs!!!

Hmmmm... that's a good question. It's probably because I'm sleep deprived (oops!)... but are you asking what other repetitive movement to do when you get the urge to daydream or just how to cut back in general? I think it's more of the latter, but I'll just answer both to stay safe and hopefully one of the two answers are helpful!

So, if you are looking for something else that isn't as energy consuming/space consuming to do while daydreaming, here are a few suggestions I have:

1. Try finger movements. I have this thing where I tap all my fingers with the thumb, and then start over again. It could be something great to do while sitting that is less obvious and also not very energy consuming. Obviously, it's probably pretty hard to replace one repetitive movement with another, but it could be worth a shot! Or maybe just play around with other movements that are less obvious/less energy and space consuming.

2. Practice sitting daydreaming. I used to be a pacer when I was little. I still can be when I'm in the right situation. But usually I'm not in a place where I can do it. Plus, I'm lazy ;P. After lots of practice (usually when I didn't have any other choice) I've learned to sit and daydream, and now I almost prefer sitting over pacing. So, it could be worth a shot just trying to sit and daydream rather than swing your arms/pace.

If you are looking to cut down daydreaming all together, here are some suggestions:

1. Schedule daydreaming time. If you have specific times cut out of your day to daydream, then it can be something you look forward to rather than something you feel you must do whenever you get the urge. It can be hard at first to discipline yourself enough to wait. But if you do it enough, it'll become habit. Certain times/places will be associated with daydreaming while others are not and you may get less of an urge to daydream while in certain settings where you can't. For me, I always daydream before bed, when I'm doing specific chores, and when I'm on walks. Because of this, usually I'm able to focus fairly well doing other tasks because I know once I am doing a certain activity I will be able to daydream freely.

2. Whenever you get the urge to daydream, try naming three things you can see, hear, and feel. This is kind of a random one, but sometimes by forcing yourself to focus on the environment around you, you might be able to stop yourself from daydreaming. If you have to list nine things all together (three you can see, three you can hear, and three you can feel) you might be able to distract your brain enough to stop the urge from being so strong.

3. Find other things to occupy yourself with. This one is especially true for the car trip! Try reading a book, fanfiction, or taking one of those portable car games to keep you occupied. Maybe start counting how many animals you come across on the trip or how many red cars you pass, etc. You could even make a list of things to do once you get bored of one thing. Take paper and draw, play a game with those in the car with you (cards are great for this!), or google search car games. They might be lame, but if they help distract you, they could be great! Or, if you are able to practice sitting daydreaming, you might be able to plug some music in and sit and daydream without being very obvious. Personally, I'm pretty good at this. But it really varies from person to person. If this is something you can't do, then don't risk it! Another great thing to do in a vehicle to not daydream is sleep! I love catching up on sleep in the car, and for sure you won't be daydreaming then (you might be actually dreaming though ;P)

4. Keep writing. This one is more geared toward the school aspect. Even if you aren't taking notes, just write down what is happening in class. For example, if the teacher is coughing, write down that the teacher is coughing. It seems kind of dumb, but if it helps you stay completely focused on what is happening in the class, it could help your mind stay rooted in the present moment rather than in your daydreams. You could even reserve a separate notebook for these kinds of notes (just so they don't get mixed in with your normal notes)

I hope some of this is helpful! I wanted to get back to you soon so I have some advice for your road trip!

Here is a link to my resources page if you need more advice. Hopefully something in all this rambling or on that page is helpful! Wishing you all the best!!

[japiform]

Chat Logs: Give Context

po57c0nt3n7 > how long have you known

japiform eh, i didn't really care to pay attention til you two started talkin though i'll admit, i'm new enough to this shit that i didn't really question it when i immediately assumed you was from here so. i dunno. the whole time?

po57c0nt3n7 > ok

japiform why?

po57c0nt3n7 > why do you think

japiform no clue was i supposed ta tell you immediately? i ain't really got down the ettiquettes of this exact situation guess my lusus forgot to teach me

po57c0nt3n7 > oh so now youre asking about etiquette > its ok im not mad at you

japiform .... You have never been told that before. oh?

po57c0nt3n7 > its my fault it happened like this anyway

japiform oh is this what we're doin?

po57c0nt3n7 > what > no im just telling the truth

japiform yeah cool whatever look i ain't one to stop a good pity party, but actually yeah i am they're annoying to watch and you're way funnier with that fake ass confidence it's a joke, dumbass at your expense cosmic variety you didn't realize. she didn't realize. darkleer didn't realize, and he pegged me fuckin instantly. a gods damned who's on first of reunions

po57c0nt3n7 > he pegged you lol

japiform hahaha he wishes

po57c0nt3n7 > also that wasnt me > well it was me but not really

japiform yeah yeah somethin about masks and faked confidence and maybe algorithms or somethin this is the real you, a mopey guilty asshole

po57c0nt3n7 > no i literally made an ai that i was using for data harvesting you goddamn moron > and you broke it

japiform hahahahahahaha that's fuckin funny no wonder it didn't recognize her i ain't never broke an ai before what part did it?

po57c0nt3n7 > its like asking a metal detector to find a red wall > the part where you threw it at the red wall dipshit

japiform hahahahahaha what data was you harvestin?

po57c0nt3n7 > in line with the metaphor > whether or not the metal thats responsible for the color red was present

japiform huh abstract

po57c0nt3n7 > yeah well i didnt exactly have the resources or the capacity for anything more complicated than that unfortunately > which is why im not mad at you

japiform huh what resources do you need that you don't have?

po57c0nt3n7 > power > security > not being a coward chickenshit

japiform a battery not havin enough power. kinda funny don't think i can help with that shit

po57c0nt3n7 > why would you want to help

japiform beats what i'm doin now

po57c0nt3n7 > you mean jack shit

japiform hahaha exactly

po57c0nt3n7 > i know > she keeps tabs on you

japiform how surprising damn, i didn't know that becomin a high ranking government official would mean i'd be *watched* now i'm scared of what'll happen if i *don't* help the empress's favorite pet

po57c0nt3n7 > you say dumb shit a lot > does it ever get boring

japiform hahaha yeah if you don't want help, i can just keep twiddlin my thumbs no fuckin skin off my big red nose

po57c0nt3n7 > i dont know

japiform eh. i'm old. i can wait. or maybe i'll die tomorrow either way

po57c0nt3n7 > you wont die tomorrow

japiform then i can wait :o)

po57c0nt3n7 > ok do that

japiform hahaha

-----

japiform 1hp huh

po57c0nt3n7 > thematically appropriate eheh

japiform ha you bout to kick it?

po57c0nt3n7 > if i dont outlive your wrinkled ass i would never let myself live it down

japiform hahahahaha and how do you intend to prolong your dying battery?

po57c0nt3n7 > as long as physically possible > orr at least until i can make it up to survivor

japiform that's sweet but you answered the wrong question, dumbfuck

po57c0nt3n7 > yeah

japiform lemme rephrase through what means do you intend to prolong your miserable life

po57c0nt3n7 > why do you care

japiform i already told you ain't you got access to your memory? update ya ram or some shit i got nothin better to do this shit makes for good tv

po57c0nt3n7 > i try to access my memories as little as possible > ive some stuff happening in the background

japiform so you've got it handled

po57c0nt3n7 > yes > have any of your helmsman ever told you about the peer-to-peer helm network

japiform hahaha none of my helms tell me shit without me knowin enough to ask first

po57c0nt3n7 > smart

japiform yeah so tell me about it

po57c0nt3n7 > in laymans terms its like a mini internet basically

japiform peer to peer is what fuckers use to pirate shit, right?

po57c0nt3n7 > its not supposed to exist obviously but i doubt you really give a shit

japiform nope it's funny

po57c0nt3n7 > its something the first helmsman cooked up when they realized the trolls who set up the helmsblocks put it all on the same server for lazy asshole reasons > they could connect to eachother over the broadband network

japiform i follow

po57c0nt3n7 > over the last eons its become a hub for noobs and veterans to communicate > keep everyone in the loop > for the last two weeks ive been uploading packets

japiform startin to get the feeling i've been bein handled but go on

po57c0nt3n7 > well duh youre a figurehead at best

japiform hahaha thanks

po57c0nt3n7 > np babe > anyway these packets are 1-1 data dumps of my memories > i figured if i do kick it > other helmsman can stll learn from me i guess > i just have to hold on a little longer while it all compiles

japiform that's a special sorta sad and so fuckin dull

po57c0nt3n7 > are you ever not going to neg me or should i sign the fucking visitor book

japiform hahaha

po57c0nt3n7 > im just going to draw a huge bulge on every page

japiform i'll sign it for you, i know you're all tied up :o)

po57c0nt3n7 > you are soooo funny

japiform ;o)

-----

po57c0nt3n7 > so a funny thing just happened

japiform oh?

po57c0nt3n7 > so whilst we were talking earlier you were a certain distance away > and now you are significantly closer > i wonder what thats about

japiform huh, weird i ain't got any idea where you're at motherfucker

po57c0nt3n7 > uh huh

japiform i just got some faithful worth roundin up in another sector fish bitch don't wholly order me around, and i ain't so solely a figurehead. i'm still runnin a mother fuckin CHURCH but if you wanted ta tell me your coords, i could come give you that kiss on my way ;o)

po57c0nt3n7 > not on your goddamn life > last thing i need right now is for you to take a "miraculous" tumble and crash through one of my walls kool-aid man style > do your clown shit idgaf

japiform by your mother fuckin leave

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama “Hobby” Translation

Only one SSl Kazama Cross Short story left....also incoming rant at the bottom as I’m feeling freaking exhausted and annoyed.  -.-

Enjoy the translation... if you are able to. [lol yeah im also upset]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama x Hobby

Translation by KumoriYami

Inoue: 3rd year class 3 students, hello. Although it no longer seems/may no longer be necessary to introduce yourself, give your name. I am the school cafeteria's Inoue. [cafeteria can be subsiituted w/ canteen, dining hall, etc.]

noue: Today's fifth period class/lecture is special, as I am in charge of it as the lecturer/as I will be your lecturer.

Inoue: Although wearing this is a bit embarrassing, nevertheless treat me kindly [alt: please take care of me].

Kazama: Ah. Unexpectedly having you come to teach class/teach this one [me], is a big deal. [Alt: I can't believe you've come to teach me, this is no small task/ this is not meant for someone without capability.] [not sure????]

Kazama: Hey, what is the contents of today's class/lecture? If it's too boring this one [I] will not spare you.

Inoue: Today I'll be teaching you how to write your resume. As third year students, you will face the opportunity/prospect/challenge of getting/going to university and getting jobs/getting a job, and I believe that there will be more opportunities to write resumes/ believe that the opportunities for writing resumes will increase.

Inoue: Therefore the school has decided to entrust me with sharing my knowledge with everyone/So the school has decided for me to give a lecture to everyone as someone with work experience.

Inoue: Next please prepare [take?] a blank resume. Discuss with your classmates and think about your strengths, and write them down in that column. [Probably meaning: Fill in the blanks]

Kazama: ——Full name: Kazama Chikage. Age: unknown. Specialties(/skills): there is nothing that this one/I cannot do.

Kazama: Next is hobbies.... Let's write down observing human behaviour. [I think?]

Inoue: Well, it turns out that Kazama's hobby is observing human behaviour. I believe/ I'm sure you have a lot of experience in observing human behaviour, [so] you can use these experiences as a highlight to introduce yourself/highlight in introducing yourself...

Kazama:......What are you talking about?

Inoue: Nn?

Kazama: Did you think that I would actually observe the common rabble? That's simply ridiculous. Kazama: To be my target of observation during the day and night [alt: at all times], [there is] only one person. [basically: There is only one person who has my interest at all times.]

Kazama: Right/That's right/correct,  that is my wife, Yukimura Chizuru, only this one person [only her]!

Inoue:............

Inoue: That is not calling observing human behaviour, [rather that] feels as if should belong to a more dangerous category/classification.....

Kazama: Almost forget. In the spouse [martial status] column draw [put] in a “〇”.

Inoue: You can't fake [a/your] resume......

----

i’m not sure if i’ll get to  finishing the cxm 2017 otomate party drama this month.... 

P.S. i’m going to rant now since i am 1000000000000000000000000000000% sick of the federal election news coverage. [sorry but this is how I cope. also i intend to vote and did watch the federal leaders’ debate]

I’m seriously fucking tired of hearing about the federal election that I will be voting in. I wish people would realize that regardless of how good it may be to have more money in your wallet, a point i will not argue against since money is a necessary resource for any country since economic activity is required to do anything, including investing in transitional and cleaner alternatives and technologies, but it will mean less than nothing if you don’t have a livable environment or air to breathe. The lack of understanding on this by the what-will-not-be-named c-party of Canada, especially aggravates me. If they really wanna scrap the carbon tax, that’s fine, but they seriously need an actual environmental plan that will do something aside from giving b.s. lip service. I mean, really, will any amount of money be enough if you can’t breathe? Just look at what air pollution has done to Asia.

I’ve always said and believed that if you don’t have your health, than you have nothing, but why does it seem that so many politicians seem to believe that money is like the only thing people should care for? The threat of climate change is very real, and it’s most direct impact on people as individuals will be through the air unless someone somehow don’t breathe in oxygen. Increased air pollution, and the subsequent drop in air quality has contributed to the deaths over 2 million people every year and ignoring this, which has gotten significantly worse due to increased global temperatures, is simply unacceptable.

It just feels like no one thinks long term about the environment in politics. No one seems to care or connect how global warming will actually have effect the economy. For the example of air pollution, increased sickness and diseases related to the increase in pollutants in the air will mean more people needing healthcare, which will in turn affect  the number of people actually contributing to the economy. With an already aging population, and one that is also shrinking, that also means less people contributing, and increased deaths or just people being unable to work as much since they either require care, will overall mean less money they can spend to support local economic activities, which will then result in the recipients of said money with less money to do the same thing and result in less economic activity overall, which therefore also means less economic growth, stability and prosperity, and less money to support those same social services that people will need to rely on as the demand for healthcare increases.    

*sighhhhhh* 

Seriously i could go on, but I’ll refrain from writing an essay right now... though I will say that I’ve done projects/speeches that were related to the the environment and climate change in some way for almost every single year I was in school since grade 4 and I do my best to follow news related to the environment so I do know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, this will probably be the only semi-political/semi-environmental rant I make before election day... and until next year... at least unless something seriously pisses me off after the election ends.  

[fox-steward]

@illinoisbeau didn’t respond when i said it was up to him about tagging, so i’ll give him the chance to respond, but please let me know if i should remove the tag.

where to even start with this? it’s wildly illogical but i am waiting for my wife to get off a 9hr plane ride so i’ll bite.

image 1: i’m sorry if you think i just came up with everything on this blog like some inspired fount of radical feminism, but these ideas are here to help make sense of my experience. they do not come out of my experience. what i’m saying is, my experience with dysphoria is likely indistinguishable from most other female trans people, and you said it best yourself, “transition [is] not the right treatment.”

i try to make this point with exhaustive examples, drawing on the indisputable conditions of being female in this society.

image 2: acknowledges misogynistic society? check. everything you said after that and before your own experience? word salad. how am i missing how “misogyny permeates each person in society in all areas of life?” that is exactly what i’m saying. and extrapolating from there, im suggesting that even sex dysphoria is informed by the all-permeating misogyny. why do i have to repeat this? it would seem we agree here?

you’re right we never stop learning from society, but as you experience the socialization of manhood, you do so with a history of girlhood. guess who fundamentally does not do that: natal males. which means even now, your experience of manhood is going to be fundamentally different from theirs. just as mine was. just as all transmen’s are. we never stop learning from society,“ but we also cannot just erase what we already learned. i’m suggesting it is possible (probable) that for female people like us, who experienced girlhood with dysphoria, it is precisely the experience of misogyny that gives rise to desires to become the opposite sex.

image 3: my man, there is no reliable difference between “cis and trans dysphoric people.” it’s not helpful (except insofar as to construct and substantiate some kind of innate trans narrative) to distinguish between types of dysphoric people, especially when the overlap of our experiences is so huge–nearly a circle!

i’m not sure what exactly you’re arguing, but the notion that therapists aren’t helpful to dysphoric people is…dubious. from one side of the coin, i agree, from the other, i don’t. i agree that right now, therapists are not doing dysphoric people right and helping us investigate the deeper meaning of dysphoria and helping us work on ways to deal with it outside of steering us toward medical transition. i don’t agree that therapists are seeking out reasons to “make us normal.” this is…a wild claim. so intangible as to be useless to this discussion.

again, there is just no use in trying to draw a line between “cis” dysphoric people and “trans” dysphoric people unless that purpose is to bolster the idea that transness is an innate state of being. practically, there’s no difference between your life experience (what you’d call trans) and mine (what you’re calling cis). any difference exists in your mind in order to justify why we can have different outcomes of the same experience: transition.

image 4: not sure what the point in bringing up the difference between society and nature is. sure, they’re different, but each one is real in that we have to live with both and with the ways they interact. those interactions being something like: all females (nature) are oppressed by misogyny (society).

no one is asking you to obsess over your biological sex? all i’m suggesting is, it’s better for mental health when we acknowledge our reality, that we are female, rather than believing we are or could become male.

look, you’re 18 and an adult, so i’m not trying to belittle you when i say this: at 18, the human brain isn’t done forming. in my late 20s, mine is. i guarantee i have life experiences behind me that you just don’t. i say from experience and observation of others, feelings change a lot between 18 and 30. i say from experience, it’s no good for mental health to feverishly pursue something you can never attain (becoming male). whether you believe me or not is up to you, but you in particular is not who i write this for. i write for any dysphoric female, myself included.

image 5: no, what jeopardizes your healthcare is a medical industry that suggests transition without the appropriate investment of time and resources in figuring out how to physically and emotionally care for trans people. what jeopardizes your healthcare is a lack of research into long term testosterone use and how that changes a female body. but make no mistake, changed by medication or not, it’s still a female body. what jeopardizes your healthcare are transphobic doctors and nurses who turn away trans patients because they don’t understand or are disgusted by our bodies. and that is a flaw with society, not nature.

i get that you don’t want the experience of womanhood and transition will functionally fix that for you, but your body will not enter some mystical space between male and female. it will be a female body on testosterone. and that’s fine! like you said, functionally, it does the job! no one “gives a shit” that transition is an aesthetic approximation? this discussion is not about feeling a certain way about transitioning, that is literally just the honest description of what it is. claiming to somehow slide into a biologically male body? that has a lot more to do with feelings–namely, appeasing your own internal sense of being. and as my personal experience informs me, insisting doesn’t make it so.

no one said or implied that transness or transsexuality is unnatural and thus wrong. nothing about this discussion or any of my writing is about transness being wrong. it’s almost all about how females suffer misogyny, how that influences dysphoria, and wondering if medically transitioning is the best treatment for it. that’s it. and you can agree or disagree, but trying to make it seem like i am anti-trans isn’t true or fair.

image 6: you are the only one distinguishing our dysphorias, though. you insist they’re fundamentally different, while i suggest that maybe they aren’t? your evidence that they’re different? i acknowledge the role of misogyny, while you deny it. at 18 i would have denied it, too. functionally, though, experientially, i’ll bet your story and mine have a near perfect overlap. our experiences likely mirror one another’s. and that is my point from above: there's no practical difference in distinguishing between you and me unless we’re trying to support the idea that transness is innate. and that distinction relies not on our actual, concrete, lived experiences, but on how we choose to describe them.

if i had to guess why you want to create this gulf between our experiences, it would be to rationalize why it is two very similar people with exceptionally similar experiences of functionally the same thing can reach different outcomes.

image 7: i just wanted to include this to publicly acknowledge that i had permission to post these screenshots.

but as i said in our chat message, LMAO @ the notion that my experience with transitioning doesn’t necessitate an opinion on transness!!!! what a wild stance to take! “your experience doesn’t necessitate an opinion on that experience.” lmao 😂

good luck out there, this world is a trip. i wish you well.

[nylenol]

ALL OF THEM. 1-50. GO.

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?

yes and no! i value the idea of fate a Lot a lot and idk i believe things happen to certain ppl for a certain reason whether in this life or others so. yeah. i also think that everything i’ve been thru makes me a certain way, and throwing that away to go like,,, possess another body or some shit makes everything not worth. i wish i had better financial status and had more resources at my disposal tho! so if i could change my social/financial standing thatd be hot as fuck

2: What is your full name?sandra whot (thats what i write on my physics tests)

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?im 17 but god knows i still look 12

4: Have you ever dyed your hair?no but ppl ask me if i’ve dyed it bc the natural colors kinda wack! also i spray painted it blue once does that count

5: What’s your eye color?healthy soil mmm wormy

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with iti like my body! i used to not bc shes a little chonky but its okay now^^

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?i really wanna get an industrial/helix piercing in my ear but im scared of piercings djhgggg i used to have those little asian baby hoops that all asian babies have but it got caught in my necklace and started bleeding like fuck when i was little so i was kinda traumatized, dont wear earrings anymore and the hole closed up on one side ; as for tattoos i want one eventually! maybe something small and meaningful on my ankle/wrist or smth

8: What would you say is your best quality?i’m really tolerant of a lotta bs tbh; a lot of times when my friends cant handle a person/situation i still find myself p okay with it and they tell me that so ya!

9: What are you really bad at?oh my god so many : cant dance; cant sing; drawing mediocre; meeting deadlines? whos she! etc etc my work ethic just sux

10: What talent do you wish you had?i wish i could sing well/play an instrument!! love live renewed my love for music a lot and not being able to express that love for music IN music makes me rlly emo

11: Are you nice to everyone?yeah i’d like to think so,, sometimes i shittalk if they like do something Genuinely Morally Wrong like hello but for the most part i think everyones deserving of kindness even if i dont know them that well!

12: What do you think about the most?i spend a lot of time thinking abt the past and what i could have changed and the future and what i could have been and its ugly dont like it but it nags at me!! thanks obama

13: Things you like/dislike about yourselfi like the fact that i have a lot of passion for certain things and dedicate myself to them!! but i dont like the fact that i get demotivated rlly easy and let things pile up after signing up for too many things that i care about; ; ;  then i dont drop these things and end up in a shithole of responsibility like hello o o o o 

14: What is your least favorite word?i dunno! but any word i cant pronounce correctly is my mortal enemy (colosseum)

15: What is your favorite word?idk but i say hello so much ,, about time i start punctuating my sentences with goodbye.

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?i look exactly like my dad but i like my mom more! i wanna be like her, that woman works so hard to keep me and my sister alive hello

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?yeah! but honest to god if the strangers a crusty man then no i aint risking shit

18: A reason you’ve lied to someoneuhh the other day i went out for dim sum w benji and told my mom that only BENJI was buying dim sum but actually he paid for both of us bc im a broke bih (my mom hates owing ppl money) and yeah i feel terrible i dont lie often

19: Are you lying about anything right now?i dont think so ? only person im lying to is myself kek - John 1:14

20: Have you kissed someone older than you?never kissed anyone ! but wheres my milf @ god

21: Do you believe in love at first sight?yes in a way ??? but i think thats a superficial, physical kind of love and the love that matters can only form after like. years of both platonic and romantic bonding

22: Do you believe in soulmates?yes! the definition of a soulmate to me is someone who would fit best for you both romantically and platonically - but while there will always be someone who fits the best, there will always be someone who fits about the same, and someone who fits about the same right under that, etc etc. while we dont end up w/ the OG Soulmate tm in most situations, we do find a variation of them somewhere in the world.

23: Are looks important?a little bit?? but it doesnt matter in the long run, if you love someone then you’ll also grow to love the way they look its a package deal brent

24: Opinion on relationship age differencesi like ppl around my age or maybe a year younger/older but if ur 25 n dating a 35 yo then thats ur business! idc as long as neither party is in their teens and its healthy

25: Would you date someone off the Internet?unless i met them irl? no

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?lol yeah in part, i normally dont cry until i have 6000 different reasons to cry and sufficient hydration (like 3 times a year hello)

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?lol

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?lol

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?yeah! my friends disliked one of my best friends for like a Long time, me n her aren’t close friends anymore bc shes kinda snakey but w/e

30: Have you ever liked your best friend?lol

31: How does someone win your heart?be a good friend! same humor helps a lot, if someone’s aura is comfy for me to be in then hhhello ;; also genuine concern and compassion is my biggest turn on yeet

32: What turns you on?having enough food on me to eat every single period of the day, fruit, vidya games, sleeping,,, when teachers extend deadlines mr. geil i love you ? i lo

33: What turns you off?ketchup poured over fries like hello what is wrong with people.

34: Do you get jealous easily?yes cerritos auto square

35: What is your definition of cheating?cheating (noun) - the conscious pursuit of non-platonic relations with a person other than your significant other

36: Do you forgive betrayal?not really but depends on the situation

37: Have you ever been cheated on?nop i gave someone my hw to copy a few times tho

38: Have you ever cheated on someone?nop but i copy other ppls hw on a daily basis :)

39: How often do you listen to music?24/7 all the time always every waking hour right now immediately at the moment, this bitch DEAD without her earbuds

40: First concert you attendedactual actual concert in a venue was the AX one where Aqours performed!!

41: Last movie you watchedCarol it made me sososoos emo i was watching it on a bus next to a bunch of hetties i was Crying. crying

42: Favorite type of movieromance! and for some reason disaster movies,,, also psychological movies r Really up there

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?hoohooheehee

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?yeah when i need to, its obvious to other ppl tho i think

45: Do you fall in love easily?not really

46: Do you think people say I love you too much?yes and no, it depends on context and frequency

47: What’s your favorite holiday?tet bih

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?im pretty forgiving i think, i wish i wasnt

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?right here in my bed! wish i could sleep forever

50: What’s your “type”?idk if i have a type but ppl are hot and this lesbian is too weak to go on! i like ppl who are kinda similar to me tho: little crazy little wack but ultimately well meaning

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[steyuj-blue]

Who are your favorite fictional characters ever and why?

Oh, goodness! I really love so many of them. They've taught me so much.

Utena taught me humility. Sometimes our rebelions both destabilize vulnerable parts of oppressive systems, while simultaneously reproduce parts of them. It doesnt mean we shouldnt rebell, but, we should be ready to learn that we don't know everything. (I learned way more than that from her and the other characters, but going further into it'd be a more intensive undertaking that Ive got in me to tackle today.)

Tenou Haruka was my first genderqueering roll-model. She and Utena saved my life actually. I survived a suicide attempt and decided to see if being what I was, was as terribly evil as I'd been told. Here they were, two queer, heroic characters I certainly felt were worrhy to live, had they been more than fictional. Maybe I deserved to live and find some sort of fulfillment and happiness too.

Nausicaa, from Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind (lots of anime characters. High school was a pivotal time in my life). Nausicaa challenged the deeply held prejudices of the people she loved, against bugs. It was deeper than that, of course. (Or, at least I've interpreted it that way.) It was about bugs, the environment, war. It also about humanizing (for lack of another word in my vocab) those already deemed unhuman, because 1. We only recognize those who are most similar to us, 2. Resource scarcity. It questioned what "advanced" and "primitive" mean, in terms of both perspective and consequence. It remains after all of these years, my favorite anime. --On the less deep side of things, I also do love bugs (generic). I thought I got bit by a black widow last week. My fb post included pics of her and me saying she was a beau. That she had long, expressive legs, like a dancer, and that my camera didnt do her justice. My friends facepalmed and groaned about "of course you'd be going on about" right now. xD (Don't get me wrong, I elevated and applied anti-septic and an ice pack. But, It's possible to be afraid of something and in awe of it at the same time. I suppose that brings me to Tsukino Usagi.)

Tsukino Usagi (Sailor Moon) is by no means graceful, neither physically in motion nor socially. But the power of her belief, not just in individual people, but in the spirit of people, so intensly that it changes something, or calls it into being. She cultivates relationships, finds the pain and hurt in the universe, and though able and one could argue entitled to take various vengeance-based actions, opts instead to cultivate relationships whenever she can locate opportunities.

This reminds me, that there is a knighted feminist in the Netherlands named Sir (?) Rosi Braidotti. She has said something along the lines of "We may not have the tools we need right now to immediately enact the changes we want. But today, we can begin building the interrelationships necesary to make those changes possible." (Not a direct quote.) Usagi reminds me of that. :)

I wish I could recall my favorite villains at the moment, as there are some of those too. But, I'm drawing a blank at the moment.

Ive just discovered Peridot, on Steven Universe. I suspect she will join my list of favorites too.

Edit: FAITH LEHANE! I can't believe I almost forgot her. I effing love her. Im drained right now so this isnt gonna be robust analysid 1. She's badass 2. Fuck, it happens. We think we're better than someone and isolate them and evil peeps/groups take advantage of that vulnerability to bring them "to the darkside". She's a critique on the Scoobies as well as an illustration of Faith's character that, she gets that she was wrong, and despite Buffy and Co being assholes, she coalitions with them later, even fighting against her own father figure to do what's right.

Anyhow, I hope that satisfies some of your curiosity. It was exciting to get a random question in my inbox. Ty! ^_^

[alexschlitz]

Hi there! Do u have any advice for someone suffering a severe case of art block? I find that i cant mentally get myself in that headspace where i actually WANT to achieve something. It doesn't help the fact that im an animation student in the thick of the semester where theres deadlines left, right and centre. Any advice from ur own experiences would be more than appreciated!

hi!!! hey buddy!! thanks for asking me im honestly flattered that you would come to me w this and also, strap in pull up a chair lets talk for a minute

first things first, lets get this out of the way: i always have art block. i love drawing, i’ve loved it for my whole entire life ever since i figured out i could do it, but it’s always hard for me. every second, every time. im eternally grateful to have as many followers as i do here (thanks, everybody) because i have spent the majority of my life just occasionally scribbling off something i was vaguely interested in and only recently have i had the pleasure of other people being interested in those things. this is a huge motivator for me, which i know every third artist on any social media platform will tell you is “””””””not why you should do it, do it for yourself”””””” etc etc ad nauseam. but it works for me: knowing that i can draw something, even if it took me twenty minutes, and someone out there will appreciate it. i love that. but i don’t think i have the natural ability or ambition that i think a lot of others have. it’s a lot of work for me, it takes a long time, i’m constantly berating myself and wishing i could improve faster and screaming at my devil hands for not eating what my brain cooked up.

SECOND: i never finished my stint at art school (which was ALMOST TEN YEARS AGO at this point), so i may not be an excellent authority on this subject. deadlines and pressure are not my strong suit. i don’t handle them well, given the information detailed in point one. you did ask, though, so i’ll answer you as well as i can

ALL THIS TO SAY: the way i get myself to Want To Do Things is generally to literally fucking force myself to do it. whether this is trawling inspiration blogs for something that catches my eye (i maintain my own regularly for occasions like these, so i have a handy resource to go to when i can’t think of anything i even want to draw), doing a few rounds of life drawing, going through old art and attempting to redraw something i really liked but know i could do better now, or honestly The Extreme which is getting myself fully and emotionally invested in some form of new content (which i do uhhhhhhhhh a little too frequently) -- find something, anything that stirs you. then draw! even if it’s crap that you’d never show anyone in your entire life, even if it’s sketches you’ll never finish, i mean jesus christ i have like 900 unfinished .psds that are unintelligible half-formed shapes that only vaguely resemble something that inhabits planet earth. the only thing i have ever found that works is to just keep going, even when it sucks, until i can break through it JUST enough to feel like i’m not scribbling on a wall with crayola markers and my non-dominant hand. that’s all it takes, usually. if i can do a little bit, i can convince myself i’m capable of a lot, and that’s huge.

one more thing, and i’ve said it a million times and i’ll say it until i die: i think making things that you enjoy, regardless of their quantity or quality, is the most important factor in keeping yourself motivated and in the game, and it shows when other people see what you do! it shows in the pride you take in your work! i mean, i know objectively that a lot of things that i PERSONALLY make are not good or polished or professional in any way, shape, or form, and they never have been, and i’ve never operated under the illusion that they were. but i like them, and i like thinking about them and sharing them with other people who enjoy them and respond to them, and i think that’s a good, symbiotic relationship. if you aren’t invested in your own work, if the things you CAN make even when you feel like your garbage dumpster hands can’t make anything worthwhile, don’t make you both proud to have been the one to do them and ALSO inspired to do better than your own good good self the next time, you’re gonna feel like nothing you do is worth it. do stuff that matters to you and you’ll feel better about it because it isn’t just an assignment or a deadline, it’s something you care about. and you wouldn’t be asking me this question if you didn’t care, so i believe in you

(ps if any pals or fellow animation majors would like to tag in and field this question you’re more than welcome -- my expertise is not particularly valuable in this situation xoxo)

[groundramon]

Its only been 15ish minutes but I’m still thinking about this post and I really like how instead of being offended about the outrageous displays of sexism in the exact field im going into, instead of being mad that a show I really enjoy was canceled prematurely/at a spoiler (? so I’ve heard, like I’ve said I’m only on season 3 so...), I’m just like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN TERRA WOULD’VE GOTTEN MORE SCREENTIME IN SEASON 6″

That says a lot about where my priorities lie.  Like sexism in the children’s television industry and division in the toy industry are two things I’d love to work against once I get into the industry (I mean im not planning to change the world lmfao but I can try) considering both fields are close to my heart and I’ll probably be working with them extensively once I get a job (not sure how involved I’ll be in merchandising but I’d like to have at least some hand in it), and I hate enforcing gender roles on kids (do you know how fucked up I’d be if my parents didn’t let me play with “masculine” toys like dragons, Pokemon figures, ect-), but Terra is more important.

My obsession aside, I do wonder how much that’s changed in recent years.

Teen Titans aired from 2003 to 2006, and honestly I think sexism had the biggest grip on children’s television in that time period than any other time period.  Sure other older shows would just...not show females in equal roles to their male counterparts, but in the early 2000s, either you did that too or you made a big deal about your female character being given equal treatment to her male counterpart.  Oh boy, look at Rika from Digimon Tamers, it’s so WEIRD that she’s a GIRL and she’s SO GOOD AT TAMING AND THE CARD GAME, wOWEE.  I give Digimon Tamers a lot of slack for that because it was extremely realistic about its sexism lmao (Henry never said anything about Rika being a girl, Jerry and Rika were both treated as equals in the overarching narrative, ect) but my point still stands.  Teen Titans is really good about how it treats its female characters, but I can still see the fingerprints of this era all over it, from its character designs (DRAW RAVEN WITH A THICKER WAIST YOU COWARDS) to its choreography (if Starfire gets wrapped up by one more tentacle I s2g-)  They also both have male-dominated casts but like...what show doesn’t?  Steven Universe, and then shows specifically targeted towards females?  And like, I’m not gonna sit here and yell at shows from the early 2000s because these were the better shows out there, they tried their best.  I can find a more sexist show airing nowadays easily, and like whatever, plenty of shows have done just as bad if not worse and I’m just using those as examples because I’ll stan those shows til i die.  I’m just sayin, it’s not surprising given the time period.  (I also have no idea how ATLA survived and thrived in the late 2000s, seriously what the fuck, how did Nickelodeon do something right in those years)

Fastforward to nowadays though, and while male-dominated casts are still the...well everything except Steven Universe and female-oriented shows, there are so many shows that really don’t seem to appeal to a particular gender.  If you made me pick, I’d say shows like Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and We Bare Bears are probably aimed at 7-10 year old boys.  But honestly?  They’re relatively ageless and genderless shows; SU and AT are both adventure-comedies, and We Bare Bears is about as gender-neutral as a Tom and Jerry cartoon.  And I already mentioned that SU is like the only cartoon I can think of that doesn’t have a male-dominated main cast and isn’t targeted exclusively at girls.

One thing that the 2010s have brought that I really appreciate is ageless, genderless shows that aren’t just there to sell toys.  Sure you can find merchandise for AT and SU (I cant find any WBB merchandise though :( i wouldnt mind an ice bear plushie but its fine...im fine...) but it was never their primary goal.

Green Lantern was canceled in 2013, and while that doesn’t seem that long ago, that was actually four years ago (jesus christ why am I so old).  Young Justice was canceled the same year, but it was announced last year that it’d be returning for a new season.  Legend of Korra was canceled in 2012, meaning it could’ve easily been part of the same sexism in the industry that killed Green Lantern and Young Justice.  I did hear something about there being concern from Nickelodeon executives about Korra being a girl, but the writing team was allowed to proceed when a test screening showed that boys didnt care about her gender (surprise surprise! kids arent sexist assholes until you teach them to be. who knew? oh yeah I FUCKING DID) so...

Yes shows like Adventure Time and Steven Universe were out or coming out around this time, but the industry hadn’t made the shift in mindset yet.  Adventure Time was a hit at the time, but like Avatar: The Last Airbender, it was an outlier, a show that was picked up for so many seasons and just too big to kill when its contract was up.  But with shows like Steven Universe, Clarence, We Bare Bears, ect...the cartoon industry has become a lot more gender-neutral in my eyes.

The group that networks are most concerned with appealing to now is 90s kids.  The hip thing to do is play with nostalgia and reuse old properties, for whatever gender people you want.  That’s why Teen Titans Go is still playing when it appeals to people of all genders, despite Teen Titans doing the same thing (in an arguably better show) a decade ago.

But one thing I dont understand is 90s cartoons.  90s cartoons - the original CN cartoons, the original Nicktoons, the original Disney cartoons - none of them seemed particularly...gendered.  Like anyone could relate to Hey Arnold.  Courage the Cowardly Dog was scary no matter your gender.  Everyone loved Ducktales - altho I guess Disney isn’t behind any of the situations i mentioned before (it’s mostly CN and then a little bit of Nickelodeon, but I do know Disney’s done some...kinda shady shit and does have a tendency to gender its shows, but idk if it’s ever canceled a show for that reason)  I dont know.  I wish I had the motivation and resources to do more research, but I’m just some idiot on the internet lmao.

I guess my point is that Teen Titans, The Legend of Korra, and related shows would likely be much better off if they were airing in 2017.