#wish hook meta

[utilitycaster]

Something that I find misses the point so completely it is breathtaking is when people are like "this player hates engaging with their backstory" about the CR cast. It's pretty much never true, and what's worst is that I've seen it the most about Travis and Taliesin, two of the players who I think have the strongest grasp on how to create and engage with a backstory.

The choice to have a character who avoids elements of their past can be a valid, informed, and deliberate character choice. People run from their pasts! People decide not to pursue things for a number of reasons - because it hurts too much, because they're scared to know the answer, because they think the people around them don't care, and because their interests change. Caduceus very much is an avoidant character. He has access to Sending by the time we first meet him, and he never uses it to try to contact his family. That's not Taliesin being stupid or avoiding. That's Caduceus making a conscious choice to not ask the question "is my family dead" because he is terrified the answer is yes. He waits for a concrete sign to go after his family to the point of deep loneliness and self-harm out of this fear. That's a crucial trait that you need to understand him as a character! Ashton is also on some level similar in that he engages in no shortage of harmful, wallowing, and self-indulgent behaviors - and that is a choice. They also have obviously messy feelings about the Hishari and it's pretty plain to see they feel extremely conflicted about their growing bonds with Bells Hells because now they'll feel bad if Bells Hells leaves them. So of course he's hesitant to bring this to Orym, because then he's entrusted Orym with this information, and he has to care, and again, this is a major part of who Ashton is.

The same goes with Fjord and Vandran (and Sabian). One of the core themes of Fjord's story is deciding whether to run from or embrace your past, and which parts of that past you want to bring forward as you change, which means that to explore that, he has to do some running! He makes efforts to learn more about where they are (going to search for Vandran during the Zadash downtime; hiring a bounty hunter for Sabian) but those get interrupted by Fjord's shifting feelings about Vandran, and fact that this is an ensemble and the story naturally shifts.

Which brings us to the practical element. Fjord doesn't want to release Uk'otoa at the time, so it makes sense to return to the mainland and process next steps, and the focus of the story then turns to rescuing Yeza, and then finding Yasha, and rescuing Caduceus's family, and changing Veth back, and brokering peace, and TravelerCon, and Eiselcross. Through this, he still in fact does quite a lot of backstory work (changing patrons and taking a paladin oath, asking Jester to contact Vandran), as well as an immense amount of character growth and engagement with the ongoing story, but Travis doesn't wrench everything off its natural course just to check off every box on Fjord's list, because that would be selfish, obnoxious, and not fun to watch. And Caduceus achieves exactly what he set out to do! He found and rescued his family and found a way to hold off the corruption! Despite his avoidance, he covers all the bases! And as for Ashton...we've had precious little time to cover anyone's backstory in depth other than Imogen's, and we've actually seen a decent amount of Ashton's backstory regardless with their contacts in Bassuras and their interactions with Jiana. There simply was not time in Bassuras to stray from the main objectives and search for the Nobodies, and I think if we had people would be annoyed since that arc already took a very long time (and, for what it's worth, rather like Fjord, Ashton has explicitly asked after The Nobodies. Do not mistake lack of payoff for character disinterest).

It is, to me, incredibly telling this criticism is most commonly seen about the two players who I think also get the most "well they had an central arc/more focus than my fave" criticism.There's no way to make everyone in the fandom happy, and I think Travis and Taliesin are the players at the table who most understand that and give the least fucks about what the fandom thinks, and who (possibly relatedly) have some of the strongest grasps of narrative and what it means to play in an ensemble. Which is in my opinion a major factor in why their characters are so good - even the ones I do not vibe with are fully realized and well-crafted, because the players are not trying to make likeable characters, but rather interesting ones, and they're not trying to take center stage, but rather be generous at the table.

[waterlinkedgirl]

Musical Touken Ranbu: Gou on Stage ~ Satomi Hakkenden; New Edition english sub

At long long last I am able to present you the subtitles for the senshuuraku of Goumyu! After a very turbulent year, I'm glad to be lowkey picking up subtitling again. For this performance, though, I won't be able to do a tl notes file. If I were fair to myself, I'd allow myself to write my grievances with what Goumyu's plot does to what had been established for Kogitsunemaru and Mikazuki when those are relevant, but if I were fair to you all, I wouldn't give you a file that's 90% complaining and 10% actual notes or background.

Don't let my grievances distract from the performance though, it's still genuinely fantastic even if the theming choices may be painful to me. Especially Oodenta is fantastic. Goodness gracious.

Keep in mind that this is only the subtitle file, timed and tled to the DMM senshuuraku. The archive version will have a talk at the start, so the starting times of the subs will have to be delayed accordingly.

Download the subs for Goumyu here!

[moistvonlipwig]

OUAT Week Day 5: Favorite parallel(s)

Here's a riddle for you.

Once upon a time, there was a man. A father, to be precise, who loved his child with all his heart. The child's mother had left, so the father was the only parent the child had left. One day the father met a man, a pirate, who mocked him for his softness and weakness, for that is what the pirate thought being a loving father was: soft and weak. But the pirate was not unreasonable; he gave the father the chance to prove him wrong. He challenged the father to a duel. But, of course, such a venture was risky, as the father's child was waiting for him back home, and needed him to come home safe.

What did the father say? Did he say no?

Or did he say yes?

When we first meet Killian Jones in 2.04 "The Crocodile," he takes on the role of the pirate in the story above: the tormentor who believes that putting your child first is worthy of scorn. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants," he declares, "deserves what he gets" -- an impressive bit of rhetorical theatre that erases the very personhood of Milah and Baelfire both, instead constructing a world that revolves around the figure of the "man" and his success or failure to live up to a hyper-individualist and violent ideal of masculinity. No one else figures into the equation -- not women and certainly not children. To even consider putting fatherhood before being "a man," in Killian's worldview, is nothing but weakness.

By the time 7.13 "Knightfall" rolls around, Killian is now in the role of the father in the story, faced with the choice to duel a pirate and affirm his masculinity through meaningless violence or to go straight home to Alice and free her from the tower without risking his life first. It is no accident that he finds himself in the same situation he once put Rumpelstiltskin in so many years ago. Rather, it is a necessary step in his journey of redemption, growth, and healing.

Like so many other villains and former villains on Once Upon a Time, Killian was once a victim of other people's actions, but over time he has become his own worst enemy. Therefore, it is himself and his own false ideology that he must defeat in order to progress on his journey. So while Captain Ahab is not literally Killian, the way the Split Evil Queen is literally half of Regina or Wish Rumple is literally a version of Rumple, he is metaphorically Killian, and specifically Killian from "The Crocodile."

Captain Ahab makes metatextual sense as a mirror-Killian. Melville's Ahab was a direct inspiration for Barrie's Captain Hook -- in their source texts, both captains lose limbs to sea creatures and dedicate their lives to pursuing revenge against the ones they blame for this loss. And Captain Ahab's name is practically synonymous with obsession and revenge in popular culture. Ahab is revenge made flesh, the originator of the legacy of vengeance and violence that all Captain Hooks are heir to, here to tempt Killian into undoing the work he did in 7.07 "Eloise Gardener" to give up his revenge and his old pirate life behind for the sake of his child.

"Eloise Gardener" is a major turning point for Killian, arguably the biggest one possible. It is the moment where he chooses Alice over his quest for revenge, and in doing so rejects the version of himself who sold Baelfire to Pan, who orphaned and abandoned Liam II, who hated his father and Rumpelstiltskin so much that (as Bae put it) he didn't even realize he had become just like them. In this moment, he chooses not to continue down the path of becoming like his father, instead choosing to identify himself with his mother, who stayed with him "as long as she could." He names his daughter after her; he sings the same lullaby to his infant child that she used to sing to him; he promises to follow her example in staying with his child. He breaks the cycle he's been trapped in for literal centuries.

But that is not the end of the story. Just as Regina choosing Henry over the curse in the 3.09 "Save Henry" flashbacks was not the end of her story. She still had a lot to learn. And so, at this point, does Killian.

Thus, when faced with the same choice Rumple was faced with all those years ago, Killian chooses wrong. Unlike Rumple, he does not swallow his pride and go home to his child, even as Wish Rumple begs and cajoles him to do just that. Wish Rumple has his own self-serving reasons for not wanting Killian to accept the duel, but it is hard not to see him as an echo of the past, urging Killian to make the same choice he himself once made. But Killian doesn't listen. He accepts the duel, choosing the path set for him by Ahab -- his mirror-self, the reflection of the man he once was, his own false ideology that he has yet to truly reckon with. And it costs him everything.

Although he does not die in the duel, the way Rumple surely would have if he'd accepted Killian's challenge, Alice still loses him. A tiny graze from Ahab's bullet permanently poisons his heart and makes it impossible for Killian to stay with his daughter the way he once promised to. It is a profound cruelty on Gothel's part, but perhaps the cruelest part of it is that Killian, like all great tragic heroes, did it to himself. He chose to risk never coming home to his daughter, and that choice in itself ensured he never would. His own twisted ideology has failed him, and he has been forced to confront just how wrong and empty it truly is.

But this is not the end of the story, either. Indeed, in its own way, it is a kind of new beginning. For all that the curse of the poisoned heart is an awful thing for Killian and Alice to endure, Killian's experience with the duel does ultimately change him for the better. Not instantly, for it is hard to change without a support system, especially when you are suffering; but once he has people who have his back, he is able to take the lesson he's learned to heart. What is that lesson? That there is nothing in the world that matters more than one's child; that cleaving children from good parents who love them is nothing but petty cruelty; that being a good father is more important than being "a man" who is willing to "fight for what he wants"; that what he did to Rumple centuries ago was wrong.

Once Killian has learned this lesson, he can overcome his own previous failings as a sort of anti-father figure (or in other words, a Captain Hook -- George Darling's other face, a man whom "no little children love"). Instead of separating families and orphaning children, Killian helps keep families together. He abandons his plan to replace expectant father Storybrooke Hook in 7.02 "A Pirate's Life"; he helps reunite Zelena with Robin Jr. in 7.11 "Secret Garden"; he defends Regina's decision to cast the curse to save Henry in 7.10 "The Eighth Witch"; and, perhaps most touchingly, he gives Jacinda the white elephant to keep her and Lucy together in that same episode, sacrificing his own chance at a life with Alice to do so.

He becomes a living embodiment of loving fatherhood, surpassing not just his past self and his own father but Rumpelstiltskin as well. Indeed, in 7.22 "Leaving Storybrooke", he dies redeeming Rumpelstiltskin's greatest betrayal of Baelfire -- Killian keeps hold of Alice's hand while a portal threatens to separate them even as her very touch kills him, in sharp contrast to Rumple's series-defining moment in 1.19 "The Return" when he lets go of Bae's hand for fear of losing his power. Rumple, in turn, dies redeeming Killian's greatest transgression against Alice -- he gives Killian his heart to replace the one Killian poisoned with his choice to duel Ahab. Rumple, whom Killian taunted when they first met for choosing to get home safe to his son rather than risk his life, gives his life so that Killian can get home safe to his daughter, and in doing so finally heals the wound Killian inflicted on himself all those years ago when he made the opposite choice.

It is a powerful and beautiful ending for Killian and Rumpelstiltskin both: an ending where they redeem themselves by redeeming and healing each other, where they do for Alice what neither could do for Baelfire, where they defeat the ghosts of their past selves for good and pave the way for a better future. And it was all set in motion a long, long time ago -- with a father, a pirate, and an offer to duel.

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Batman had Danny by his leg. More specifically he was hanging Danny upside-down 40 stories in the air via said leg.

Okay. So Danny maaay have stolen some tech from a lab. Okay, a lot of tech. But Batman thought he was a witness or an accomplice! Not the perpetrator themselves! Does he do this to all his witnesses?

Appearently Danny said that last part out loud and his sass was unappreciated, hence Batman letting go. Unfortunately for both of them Danny didn't want to fall and he instinctually stayed there floating perfectly still in mid air.

Danny may be a terrible liar, but he was a phenomenal actor, especially when he's feeling spiteful. Alright, he thought random bullshit GO! Before Batman could comment, our little menace gave Batman a scandalized look, "You're a meta?!"

"No." The bats scowled even harder than before "Your abilities may have manifested just now."

Oh ho ho, Danny wasn't going to let him get away that easy. "My parents would have killed me if I had the meta gene. I know. They checked." That one wasn't exactly a lie. His parents would have seen any superpowers as confirmation that he or Jazz were ghosts and then it was game over and they did check thier DNA for something a lot when they were younger...huh. Thoughts for later than.

"How do you know you haven't gotten mutated by any of the stuff you deal with? Besides if they were my powers then I wouldn't still be hanging upside down."

Bats grunted in acknowledgment and just stared at him for a few seconds, which was uncomfortable. Lucky for him one of the other bats landed near Batman on the rooftop and asked about the situation. Danny didn't hesitate, "Batmans a meta! I'm stuck!"

"I am not"

"Are too!" Danny quipped back. He sounded kinda childish but he didn't particularly care at the moment. More bats came after the second one spilled the beans on some 'com' thing. They mostly mocked Batman and asked if he was okay, which he was but he would like to be let down please.

Eventually someone called 'Red Hood' showed up and was really really mad that Batman had threatened a kid.

There were fireworks after that. The kind that belonged on a soap opera and Danny wished he had popcorn for it. Unfortunately he was stuck disrespecting physics for the time being.

Or was he? The big bad bats attention wasn't on him at the moment now would be a good time to ru-

Danny screamed, genuinely startled at the sudden free fall. He heard multiple people swear and grappling hooks fire. The next thing he knew he was shaking while holding onto someone for dear life. It had been almost a full year since the accident and yet he still lost control of his powers sometimes when distracted.

Luckily Red Hood is super cool.

----

Aka Danny gaslight Batman into thinking he has superpowers he can't control.

Red Hood is mad Bruce threatened a child.

[motherstone]

Silas's true colors

Ok, y'see @chi-the-idiot and I have been losing our minds when we combined our observations about Silas, and I thought it's developed enough to be a meta post about him and his actual character.

He's not a good person. He's not even a "flawed" misunderstood type - nope, just straight up someone who genuinely doesn't have the wellbeing of others in mind.

Main Points

Silas has always been suspicious since Book 1

Leon has a miscommunication with Emily about Silas’s intentions.

He assumed that Silas passed away too soon to tell Emily his noble goals. Thing is, if that was truly Silas’s intention, he would’ve prioritized saying that on his deathbed, especially when he’s fully aware he’s going to bite the dust soon.

Except he didn’t.

From the get go, Silas first attempt to hook Emily into claiming the Amulet is that it grants power and authority - not the ability to help other people.

Indeed, Silas’s last laments weren’t even about his failure to help the Resistance, but rather his failure to achieve great power. When Emily makes it clear that she’s not interested in it, Silas makes a point to switch tactics, and this time properly nails Emily’s actual desire - an ability to return to a time she’s happier.

And then, proceeds to give the worst possible advice to Emily about stonekeeping - listening to the stone (Which we already know, it’s a horrible idea). And to add insult to injury, he wistfully wishes that he at the very least could partake in the Amulet’s blessings would apparently gift Emily with, but alas, the bell tolls.

What’s even more sinister is Silas’s last words to Emily’s valid question of “why me?” 

Silas already knows Emily won’t be able to reject the stone to begin with. It’s not a stretch that he manufactured or at the very least allowed the events to happen that would lead to such a situation.

From start to finish, this was a sales pitch. A trap. And Emily has so very little choice but to take the bait - all hook, line, and sinker.

2. Miskit’s design and potential purpose (All Chi's notes)

Chi brought it up to me about her suspicions about Miskit’s design.

Miskit’s design looks like a plushie - he’s small, cute, all round features unlike the harder edges of bots like Cogsley or Theodore.

For one, it’s quite unique and unusual, even among bots seen in the series. But especially when compared to the rest of the Charnon bots:

Put Miskit there and he sticks out like a sore thumb.

Oh, and also, he’s Silas’s apprentice and has all his knowledge stored in his memory banks. Which is. A very weird design choice. You’d think an adult like Silas would design a bot that matches him more - but Miskit looks out of place when put beside Silas.

Unless, Miskit wasn’t built for Silas’s sake.

But rather, for his successor, Chi noted. A child successor.

Miskit, standing next to Emily, looks like a perfect match. He was built to be her companion from the get go. Silas was never going to choose his son or Karen for the stone - he had the intention of an adult succeeding him to begin with. Miskit’s design, in context of the story, is meant to emotionally manipulate the successor, because Silas wanted someone malleable, someone who is yet to grow into their place and their sense of self, and who is more perfect for such a role than a child?

3. The Charnon bots and their reliance on Silas's stone.

I want you to take note of some things:

Emily’s stone fizzled out the same time Silas died, meaning his life force is connected to it.

2. Pink energy glows and crackles in the bots' eyes.

It goes unstated, but it’s clear that Silas uses his stone to power the house AND the bots. The lights and bots going out isn’t for dramatic effect nor the stone shutting down - it’s Silas’s will over the magic spell that keeps them up running fizzling out at the same time as his life does.

Signature pink energy crackling as they're restored back to life - they're powered by their very creator, and currently, their new master.

The house lives as long the stone does. It’s why Miskit is so panicked when Silas dies and is frantic on begging Emily to accept the stone - aside from being saddled with a massive duty out of nowhere, their lives quite literally depend on it. Sure enough, when Emily accepts the stone, they all come back to life. I’d bet my entire shoe collection (which comprises three shoes) that had Emily rejected the stone, they, along the house, would remain stone dead.

Sounds reasonable enough that Silas would use his stone to power them - it is a power source after all.

But the thing is - he doesn’t need to do it.

We don’t get further context later, but then we get to see other bots in the series and -

They all operate independently of a stonekeeper providing them power to function. We get that confirmation as early as book 2.

Meaning Silas built in the bots' dependence on him from their inception - they’re quite literally chained to Silas by life. It’s true that they’re loyal to him by choice, but that’s all the more convenient for Silas, as he makes it quite clear that he has no intention of letting them go if they wish to - either they serve him, or die.

In other words - SILAS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TERRIBLE PERSON. I don’t know what the fuck Kazu was thinking trying to retcon him as a flawed hero, but it’s obvious he was never a good guy to begin with. He’s a power hungry, control freak who’s a slave to his desires - there’s not an ounce of decency nor noble intentions in this man.

[aloonaram]

Here’s an edited wip of my Birdflash oneshot.

Fair warning, this will probably change in the final product as I try to figure out at what point in the timeline I want this fic to take place.

—

“You look like shit, Dickie.”

“Gee, thanks, Walls. You’re such a loving boyfriend,” Dick retorted. He tried for a smile, but Wally watched sadly as it twitched and fell before it could become what it once was–what Dick’s smile used to be.

Dick opened his door wider in invitation and Wally rushed in and examined the place. Gotham wasn’t ever known for its beauty, but even with that in mind, Dick’s apartment looked pretty rough. Empty containers of takeout and miscellaneous trash littered the floor and countertops. His couch was sprinkled with brown spots that he almost assumed were polka dots before he realized they were most definitely patches of dried blood. Clothes were strewn across every surface, their musk permeating his senses. Dick brushed past his side and made his way to the kitchen, opening his rickety fridge to expose the meager amount of food he had. Wally would bet his life savings that each of the five items had gone bad too, based on the state of the place.

Dick turned to toss Wally a water, “So…what, uh, brings you here?” Dick’s awkward tone hangs heavy between the two. Now that Wally could get a good look, his lover was in rough shape. Even worse than his apartment; which was a feat, his mind whispered. His hair laid limp and greasy along his neck and his bags seemed to have bags of their own. A couple of dark bruises peeked through the collar of his shirt, some leading down to his left arm if the strange way he seemed to carry it was anything to go by. Dick clutched his own water bottle, doing his best to look anywhere but at him.

“You haven’t been responding to my messages,” Wally started, “I texted the other Robin, uh Tim, I think? But he never got back to me either, so I got worried, you know? Figured I’d take matters into my own hands. I don’t have super speed for nothing.” He waved his hands around, doing his best to lighten the mood. “It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to talk, let alone seen each other in person, but, you know, if this isn’t the best time, I can totally leave. I know this is kinda spur of the moment.” Wally wished he could slap himself the moment his lips stopped moving. Some of the younger heroes had started calling him a professional yapper and he wished it didn’t fit so damn well.

Wally watched as Dick took a breath and rubbed his temple as if he had a headache. He winced. Yeah, this probably wasn’t the best time to show up out of the blue.

“No, I…You don’t need to leave, “ Dick sighed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been responding, Walls. Everything’s just been… a lot, to put it simply. I’ve been so busy trying to balance my day job, Bludhaven, and…and being Batman. I just haven’t had much time to myself lately, if you can’t tell by the state of my apartment.” Dick laughed pitifully and winced when it shook his aching arm.

He couldn’t help moving forward into the kitchen and enveloping Dick in a hug, something he definitely should’ve done the moment he’d arrived. His partner sighed shakily and moved to wrap his arms around Wally’s middle. He felt Dick’s face pressed against his chest and hooked his chin to the top of his greasy head. Dick had always been one for physical comfort, a miracle considering who he’d grown up with and the environment he’d been forced into at the ripe age of nine. Wally would be lying if he didn’t say Dick’s need for physical affection didn’t bring him relief and make him feel needed. Sometimes, he felt powerless amidst his lover's strife–Batman’s rule against metas in Gotham limiting his ability to help. Providing Dick a simple hug; feeling the tense muscles in his shoulders loosen and his breath hit Wally’s neck as he sighed in relief, was Wally’s respite from his perpetual guilt.

Wally knew about Batman’s…death. He’d been there when Dick hosted Bruce’s funeral, letting Dick squeeze the life from his hand as he listened to the speech from Alfred. With Bruce gone, the natural order of Dick’s family had seemed to fall apart. Dick had taken the mantle of Batman, a title Wally knew he had never wanted–never felt right for him. He’d be lying if he said he fully understood the magnitude of such a change–that he knew how large the chasms carved by trauma had grown to separate Dick and his siblings. And yet despite that, he knew one thing for a fact. Dick, his lover and the man he’s known for well over a decade now was not the type of person to let others shoulder pain on their own. He took and took and took until he knew only he carried the weight of the sky on his shoulders, letting his muscles feel relief only when his family no longer felt pain. And he’d continue to carry that weight with a smile as long as he knew his family would smile back, unaware of the sky creeping in on Dick’s tense shoulders.

Wally squeezed his arms tighter around Dick’s back, supporting him as his breaths became ragged in their silent embrace. As Wally did so, a sick thought entered his mind, fueled by the anger and pain he felt for his partner; a small part of him–microscopic even–was glad Bruce wasn’t here. Not because he reveled in the effects his passing had on Dick, nor because he wanted Dick to be forced into the role of Batman, but because despite his struggles, Bruce had never been good for Dick. Yes, he played the parental figure Dick needed when he was younger and yes, he provided the necessities for Dick to survive, but he never provided what Wally knew Dick needed most.

“Do you wanna move to the couch, babe?” Wally whispered, cheek pressed against Dick’s head. He feels Dick nod silently and Wally zipped them to the couch in less than half a second. Wally sat and patted the spot next to him, watching as Dick laid his head on his lap, pressing his cheek to Wally’s stomach while letting his legs hang off the side of the couch.

Never one comfortable with silence, Wally broke it first. “If you don’t wanna talk, I won’t push. We can chill, watch the Office, eat popcorn–whatever you want. I just worry…you know? Not being able to be here to help and hearing on the news, Batman and Robin this and Joker and Two-Face that…I just wish I could do more for you.”

Wally looks down to meet Dick’s pained stare and internally winces as Dick opens and closes his mouth, struggling to respond.

“Me and the bats have it handled over here, okay?” Dick starts quietly, aimlessly running his hand over Wally’s knuckles. “You don’t need to worry about me, honey. I know you have more than enough to deal with back at Central and I don’t want to stress you out with problems I have handled.”

Wally lets his free hand run through Dick’s hair, quickly relishing in the way Dick warms to his touch. “I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t be stressed, you know me too well for that, but I’m here to support you, Dick. To be your listener when you’re stressed.” He paused for only a moment before speaking again, “I know you, Dick. I’ve known you for almost every era of your life as you have, mine. I knew you when you were my scrawny, baby leader-”

“Hey-” Dick tried to interject, but Wally kept going.

“I knew you when you wore that god awful blue and yellow disco Nightwing suit-”

“It really wasn’t that bad-”

“And I know what it looks like when you don’t have things handled. You don’t need to soften the blow for me Dickie and you don’t need to play the perfect soldier.” Wally paused. Let it be known even the Flash is out of breath from time to time. “You were always there for me during rough times, so please let me be there for you.”

[edelgarfield]

just a theory, I don't think CR3 ends with everything going back to the status quo. I have a few reasons primarily based on meta.

The first is that the presence of the D&D deities in Critical Role has been a huge copyright issue in the past, & even though they've been able to get around it using epithets, I imagine it would be better for the future of the game as a whole to divorce itself from D&D lore. Plus all the shit with WotC, I think the less CR as a company has connected to them, the better.

The second is that narratively it would be unsatisfying, and changing up the world significantly opens up the door for a "fresh start" so to speak once CR3 is over. At this point, we've spent a lot of time in Exandria, & are extremely familiar with the world & its lore. That doesn't leave much new territory to explore in a future game. Changing the world significantly by removing the gods would create an extremely good plot hook for the next game + give the players & audience the chance to experience the world for the first time all over again.

My theory is that one way or another, Predathos is going to get out. There's no way Matt is going to tease everyone with a god-eater for the entirety of the campaign and then NOT have the players fight it in some capacity. I think that at some point, BH is going to have to make a choice. I don't know for certain if it's going to come down to choosing letting the gods die to save Exandria, or whether they can only seal Predathos away for good by closing the Divine Gate entirely, or something else. But whatever the case, I think BH is going to be forced into a position where the only way to save Exandria is by cutting off the gods.

I'll admit this may be wishful thinking, but imo I think it would be an appropriate end to the campaign & would tie in nicely with the themes up to this point.

[fuckyeahaudiodrama]

✨APRIL/MAY LISTENS✨

hi i’m back, i’ve just finished my degree and do not have enough of a brain to write an in-depth of anything. but! here’s some of what i’ve been shoving in my earholes for the past month, in no particular order.

The Magnus Protocol — (season 1 ongoing) continues to blow my fucking mind. the sound design/music combo for this series is of particular note, it really just… mwah. elevates the text so much for me. i also continue to be impressed by how well this works as both a standalone series and as a delicious trail of candy for those of us who loved Archives. we’re halfway through s1 now and all i can think about is alice dyer.

Beef and Dairy Network — (ongoing @ 109 eps) a partially improvised absurdist comedy pod set in a world that is bizarrely obsessed with beef. my qpp listened to one episode and called it “distilled british humor” which feels… correct. i’ll be real, i’m actually mad at myself for not getting into this one sooner, but on the other hand having a long binge of it has been divine. i would kill to go to one of their live shows.

The White Vault — (5 seasons, 10 eps apiece) not including goshawk because i’ve barely started on that. but the main series… woah! god, i totally didn’t think this was going to be my thing but i could not put it down? the first season is definitely slower than i usually prefer but the characters kept me hooked and by season 3 the narrative completely took over my brain. i also love how well they sold the found audio format, it WORKS. gold fucking star, highly recommend.

Jackie the Ripper — (3 seasons, 5 eps apiece) put this one aside for a rainy day and binged it all at once. deeply wish there was more of it. it’s a raunchy crime drama with a downtrodden detective at the helm who i SWORE i wouldn’t root for but ended up doing so anyway. do recommend! if it sweetens the pot, the protag has the same VA as watson in the currently popular Sherlock & Co.

The Mistholme Museum — (6 seasons, soon to be complete) people have been recommending this to me for years and i just never got around to it, but on the bright side — it was an incredible binge. anthologies aren’t my strong suit but i found the framing device really strong and, crucially, it develops a meta plot that balances really well. biggest strength for me was the narrator, but i can’t explain why without spoiling some key plot developments. just trust me.

Wake of Corrosion — (4 seasons, final ongoing) very cool apocalyptic suspense/horror. i initially loved this show for the dynamic between the two leads, who are brothers trying to reconnect on a solitary camping trip when the world decides to go wonky. i ended up loving the worldbuilding as well. final episode drops very soon.

Neon Inkwell: The Pit Below Paradise — (miniseries, ongoing) this one has a bit of a western vibe and heavy religious/culty overtones, which isn’t my favorite genre. but i think each of the main characters has been developed really well thus far. + many fun cameos from members of the production team, those are really fun to try and spot :)

Twits: A Steampunk Distraction — (2 seasons, 5 eps apiece) very silly comedy of errors from the pov of a bumbling aristocrat. can’t say too much without giving the end of s1 twist away. i highly recommend it if you’re looking for some lighthearted listening. the ending credits are also very cute.

Planet Arcana — (ongoing @ 71 eps) i’m so bad at TTRPGs but this one has such a unique setting, i’m just captivated. tarot-flavored sci-fi adventure for anyone interested. i’ve made it through the first arc and the party has already experienced a crazy amount of development; stoked to see what happens next.

Selene — (ongoing) anthology about a spooky little town with a vintage vibe. single narrator, quite talented. i’m not always easily invested in anthologies but the narrator here really sells it for me, and (!) i think he writes children — both their thought processes and dialogue — very realistically. which is my grandest compliment.

Camp Here & There — (s1 complete @ 33 eps, hiatus?) i put off listening to this for a rainy day because i’d heard nothing but rave reviews and they weren’t lying. this is quite literally the ONLY pod i’ve come across that completely captures the same magic that WTNV did for me on first listen. the creator is kinda going thru it so idk if s2 is going to happen but i really hope so. even if not, s1 is very worth listening to. it’s wacky and sinister and i just love the narrator, it’s hard not to.

We’re Alive: Scout’s Honor — (8 ep miniseries, complete) imagine WA from the perspective of some awkward tweenagers. what’s not to love? the gore is really heightened by each characters’ stage of emotional development. i especially loved the conclusion but i won’t spoil it here ;)

Among the Stars and Bones — (2nd season ongoing) sci-fi drama with a solid first season, really nice narrative tie-up, but the second season was SUCH a glow-up nonetheless! + the most memorable karim kronfli performance of all time IMHO.

[cancerian-woman]

I won't be offended if you prefer to delete this but your post about Tyler had me thinking...

Caroline really made his grief over his mother dying about her so much so that she issued the worst ultimatum and left herself with...

A drunk old man that used to be her teacher.

A long time friend that never seemed like he got over Elena and definitely has codependent issues with his brother so much so that he sacrificed himself willingly a day after their wedding.

And a power hungry hybrid who gave her money he could more than afford to give and said pretty words but also tortured, enslaved and killed people she was connected to....and also definitely had codependent issues with his brother.

I cannot fathom it.

All true facts. It’s late here so a meta! :D

As a huge Forwood shipper and I’m equally very critical of them. It’s a great ship for them both at first, then becomes a ship only for Caroline’s needs and development which isn’t fair to Tyler That Klaroline/Steroline shadow made those fans believe Tyler was the worst Caroline could get. When in reality he was the BEST romantic partner and friend she ever had.

What upsets me more about that ultimatum that Caroline FORCED is that she’s the only one we see comforting Tyler after Carol’s death. Even before Carol died, and Tyler was skeptical about being alpha she uplifted him and Tyler heavily respected what she had to say and went full force with it. Mind you, this is the same Tyler that broke every bone in his body just to be with Caroline. Then re-agreed to slavery for Care. Forwood communicated with each other and called out their faults. The other tvdu ships weren’t doing that!—then we get this full arc of Caroline’s grief and remember she bluntly told Tyler to get over the fact that she hooked up with Klaus because of her impulses and she’s not good1!!1

The series wanted to bury Forwood and they did so in the worst ways imaginable. Caroline gets pregnant with Alaric’s babies forcibly. (I understand Candice was pregnant but they could’ve hid her belly so Caroline wasn’t pregnant.)-Oh and we can’t forget Alaric was in love with her and proposed.

Steroline was supposed to follow the friends to lovers build up the way Forwood did and it never appears that Stefan is all in the way Caroline is. Tbh, even before the wedding Stefan wanted out the relationship he tried multiple times to end things in s8. Caroline refused and wanted it to work. Building them up after Liz’s death was a choice. Stefan manipulated Caroline heavily to when it came Tyler and their relationship.

Klaroline has no obstacles to pass with them. Klaus may give Caroline pretty things, and money but emotionally he’s never shown to give Caroline any support. When Caroline saves Bonnie from those 12 witches which is her first huge kill(correct me if I’m wrong) since s2 she immediately goes to Klaus and he basically tells her to get away from him. Klaus mentions how she’s too good for that small town but Caroline had never said she hated her home. What she did hate was Klaus grown ass destroying shit. They never had a serious conversation about anything tbh. I did enjoy how Caroline called him out at first but TO’s “you aren’t the villain in my story.” Ruined that. Oh and lol these shippers get on Damon for his rape of Caroline yet somehow, someway excuses that Klaus attempted to rape Caroline too in Tyler’s body…. Anyways! I do think a lot of Klaroline is rooted in Klaus wanting control over Tyler, and Caroline is a way to exert control over Tyler because of his love for her.

Okay this is long af, sorry! To end this off Tyler loved Caroline for who she was. He never wanted her to change, he valued and respected her. Never abused her or anyone she loved. He listened to what she had to say. Caroline’s other love interests NEVER saw her the way Tyler did. Btw, I wish people understood Tyler never, not once slutshamed Caroline for having sex with someone else. He was only mad that she slept with Klaus as if Klaus did not ruin Tyler’s life and murdered his mother. There’s obviously a reason Caroline didn’t want Tyler to know and continued to ignore the boundaries he placed up in s5 so they could just go back to the way SHE wanted them to be. It’s sad they were ruined because 5B of Forwood has moments where you can forget their broken up just based on Forwood’s chemistry. I forgot to add, some fans pretend Tyler couldn’t give Caroline a good life. Tyler wasn’t financially struggling, and would’ve done anything she asked of him. I think it’s a little problematic that Tyler did say everything he liked about himself was Caroline lol. But, he wanted nothing but her and their happiness. Just without the enslavement from Klaus.

Thank you for the ask!

[gaslightgatekeepgirlbosscombat]

Group B, Round 3, Poll 2:

Propaganda under the cut

Blackarachnia

She is the very essence of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She was born a bad bitch, literally. She says it is part of her programming. She appears throughout the Transformers media with different adaptions, but in each one she is scheming, manipulating, and winning.

So listen, people may submit Starscream, no disrespect. But he WISHES he had an ounce of what Blackarachnia had. If anything, she gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss'd HIM in the show, multiple times! Starscream always is and will be a failgirl. (Disclaimer: He's my favorite character in Transformers.)

Sirica

Since she is such a girl boss she attempted to kill meta knight

Propaganda by @destinywillowleaf:

#she girlbossed her way into being included as one of the three episodes in the Kirby Dream Collection back in 2012 for the 20th anniversary

#that weapon she's holding is so much more than a knife. it's a grappling hook and a flamethrower and a bazooka launcher and a machine gun.

#she's voiced by OG Ash Ketchum. her episode is the reason we know the name of Galaxia. she might have the power to wield it.#she shows up again at the end to help fight the big bad and helped steal ships.

#despite how little screentime she has Sirica is still one of my favorite characters of all time. across multiple series. she's my girl

[metanarrates]

Hiii I see you're playing isat!!! As an orv+utena and more recently isat fan this is very exciting. I love your meta posts. How far are you into isat? Spare some of your thoughts so far?

im on act 4 and I've got some mixed opinions on it! as a certified Timeloop Story and Ludonarrative Mechanics enjoyer, I think the execution in those departments is great! as a certified Character Driven Narrative enjoyer... I can see what the author is going for but I don't always think the execution is fantastic. I like a lot of the characters but the humor and prose/narration/dialogue styles are often grating to me, and there's a strong tendency to spell things out that I think the viewer would be better off figuring out for themself. i also tend to wish that some of the interparty character relationships were more nuanced, because theres stuff there that could be interesting but I'm not sure will ever be touched upon.

isat's concept is difficult to pull off well. I have a lot of respect for the author, because I think there's a ton of fantastic ideas in the game and I appreciate the ambition it takes to tackle something like this. however, starting a game like this in media res creates a difficult situation where I'm expected to immediately be invested in these characters as a found family with an entire unseen adventure's worth of bonding behind them, and their relationships so far aren't compelling enough for me to feel that kind of investment. I feel like there's a lot of gesturing at common rpg party tropes and going "you know, they're like this" and while that's fine, i can't help but wish the developers had found a better way to introduce me to their relationships. it ends up feeling a little unintentionally fanficcy.

that said, the mystery and fantasy elements? the spiral that siffrin undergoes while being trapped in a time loop? the grief and unrest underneath everything? super fun. i'm officially hooked on that. I also think loop, mirabelle, and odile are all wonderful characters and I love seeing them on screen! art, game design, and music direction are also A+. it's a great project! i just think it was something that the author might have benefited from a bit more writing experience in order to make it really shine.

[kipperlillyforpresident]

I'm gonna say it:

Kipperlily was right about how Riz's dad getting caught up in the KVX conspiracy is an unfair advantage.

Like if it was a regular school and he got some leeway with exams that would be fucked up, but at an adventuring school performance should not be evaluated on how many world savingquests you're related too

Like it was a dick move to be sure and certainly insensitive, but this is why I wish theu had engaged with Porter's "the school sucks" Line instead of Adaine (not a student he has any reason to know) asking him if he knows her name???? Also he clearly is a good Barbarian teacher.

Whatever I get why it's unrealistic to expect that cause this is fantasy high the enemies always have to be wet paper bags because high level 5e is about as toothless a ttrpg as you can find. I just wanted a crumb of engagement.

It feels very marvel superhero Killing "Universal Healthcare Equal Rights man" because he used a gun one time.

:3c

To answer this ask I am going to have to bring out my permit.

So. The Riz Dead Dad Gate. As always with Kipperlilly, she is both profoundly right and profoundly wrong.

Because on a meta-level, the one that she can't fully grasp... she is right. Riz's dad dying provided him with a plot hook into KVX. It's yet another designation that he is a Main Character, and she is Not.

On an emotional level - of course she's wrong! It's a deeply cruel thing of her to think. Of course, it is also something she said in the privacy of her counseling session, and therefore ought to be treated as such.

I also wish we had more engagement in the 'this school sucks' thing. Because as much as it is unfair to people who aren't designated as The Main Character... it's also unfair to TBK! It's unfair all around! This school system is inherently messed up baby!!

[namitomoon]

Honestly, I think the fact Yugioh isn't popular at all with kids in the West compared to Pokémon needs to be studied.

Most people would (rightfully) blame how overcomplicated the game became compared to the early DM/GX days with all the new meta. But I think part of the blame relies on the way Konami handled the anime too. Both the broadcasting and the core.

I read on the Wiki that Yugioh DM, GX and 5Ds were dubbed by 4Kids and broadcasted it on Saturday morning blocks. When cable and with it the Saturday morning cartoon blocks faded away, 4Kids Entertainment (and their succesor, 4K Media) were very slow in adapting to the new reality. They moved to Nicktoons, then Hulu and then for free on Pluto TV.

Compare this to Pokémon franchise which was pretty much taken away from 4Kids and handled much better by TPC, staying solidly on the same network and then switched to the much more massive and GLOBAL Netflix.

Yugioh has the dubious "honor" of being one of the few remaining anime that still gets localized and dubbed following the heavy censored 4Kids handbooks and I think I finally figured the reason: Konami (who directly handles the dubbing and localization of Yugioh through Konami Cross Media NY, which is basically the remnant of 4Kids) is DESPERATE to build a younger gen Z/Alpha audience on the West.

The average Yugioh player in the West is in their mid 20s who was hooked with the original DM and GX (and maybe also 5Ds). Konami is fine with it but they really wish their game was as popular among kids as the Pokémon TCG is. There's always the fear of the mature audience simply leaving the game because they have bigger responsibilites with work, families, etc. Heck, that's the biggest reason why they didn't bother bringing the physical Rush Duels cards.

Which is why they focus heavily on targetting their shows towards kids. They could perfectly make more loyal-to-the-original teenage/mature focused dubs and broadcast them on Adult Swim or Crunchyroll. But because of their desperation in building a new audience, they instead make kiddified dubs so SEVENS is shown on Disney XD of all places.

[ranchthoughts]

Moments of ephemerality/permanence/YOLO/photography/voyeurism/control/hypocrisy/accountability etc. in Only Friends ep. 9

last week in meta

Permanence vs ephemerality

As usual, a quick little recap on moments that to me spoke of the ephemeral and the permanent:

Nick says "Why can't I forget about Boston despite the fact that he did lots of shit to me?" -> Nick wishes Boston, his love for Boston, and his memories of Boston are more ephemeral than they are

Nick calls Ray Sand's "haunting spirit," Sand says Ray won't find where he is and join them because Sand isn't that important to him (not worth the time and effort to drive 2 hours into the mountains) -> Sand thinks his relationship with Ray is ephemeral, that what they have (and the interest Ray has for him) is not lasting or permanent

Sand had imaginary (spectral) friends as a kid because he had no real friends as a child

Sand and Nick try hooking up but it doesn't do anything for them -> friendship is the lasting relationship between them, anything romantic/sexual is just a passing fancy, the awkwardness of the moment is also fleeting and they quickly go back to normal

Ray's shirt says "YOLO" while he and Sand sit in the water and talk

Ray again tells Sand "Don't think too hard about it," like he did in his car that one time -> live in the moment, go with the flow, YOLO

All the talk about death at the camper van between Ray and Sand (Ray talking about his life flashing before his eyes, Ray asking if people would cry if he died, Ray requesting a funeral song from Sand, while Sand says "I have dreams. I don't want to die just yet.", Ray asks if he can follow Sand and Sand's dream around "now that I live") -> life is fleeting

Ray and Mew break off their relationship -> this arrangement, pretending to be romantically involved, was fleeting; their platonic friendship is more lasting (like Mew said a few episodes ago about being friends forever)

Cheum says she thought of Mew's changes as him being possessed by an evil spirit (ephemeral, something outside of Mew's control) but Mew says he was just lost and trying to become stronger by becoming someone else for a bit

Despite breaking things off with Ray and understanding that his party-going behaviour was a way of coping with everything that went on, Mew is still dressing like Ray at the end of the episode (are these changes in behaviour, or at least in dress, more permanent than they may have initially seemed?)

Atom wanted a more lasting relationship with Boston, despite the pretense for them hooking up was as one-time experiment to see if Atom was in fact interested in men; once again Boston is saddled with a man who wants something more lasting and committed than he was prepared to give (or was agreed on)

Recording and digital media

Of course, a core example of permanence in this show has been recordings, either in audio or visual form. We saw more of that this episode.

Top records Ray and Sand making out in the music room, though he doesn't show the footage to Mew (...reminiscent of Mew obtaining the footage of Boston and Gap but not showing it to his dad/posting it online... though making Boston very aware of what he *could* have done and what a good person he is for *not* doing that)

Atom says he wants a photo to keep (the idea of photos being a permanent keepsake), Boston took photos of Atom after their hookup

There's something here as well about consensually being recorded vs. not... Atom asking to be photographed by Boston vs Top recording Ray and Sand, like how Boston recorded Ray and Mew or Gap recorded Boston and others (which itself can be contrasted by Mew expressing interest and excitement at being recorded by Gap when he was on his reconnaissance mission).

I was playing around with the idea of surveillance the other week, with Gap running a channel full of sex tapes (that may or may not have been recorded with consent) and Boston using Instagram to find his friends. This week:

Ray figures out where Sand and Nick are based on Nick's Instagram story -> just like how Boston figured out his friends were at the hostel based on Cheum's Instagram story. Again, the characters don't think about what their social media presence is revealing to others

Mew's moms saying they recognize Top from Mew's Instagram

Social media, especially Instagram, has had a recurring role in this series. It makes sense, given the age of the characters, but it also brings up ideas of the appearances we put up/narratives we tell ourselves and others, surveillance, permanent records of things vs. the ephemerality of digital content, etc...

And of course, we these tie into the theme of voyeurism too: Top records Sand and Ray making out in the music room, Nick listening to Boston and his hookup kiss in the bathroom stall for a moment (before interrupting to give a heartfelt apology and goodbye).

Control and Boundaries

Last week I thought some thoughts about control and boundaries, and especially cases where characters said "it's none of your business what I do". We had lots more examples of this this week too:

Sand asks Ray to get out of his way multiple times in the music room and Ray doesn't

Ray tells Sand "Now that I have you in my life I won't let you walk away"

Top steps in to say Mew has a boyfriend when Mew is chatting to the random bar stranger, then grabs Mew by the arm and trying to pull him

Mew tells Top to stay out of his life

Ray demands sex from Mew and Mew shuts him down, Ray asks why Mew slept with Top but not him, Ray giving reasons why he is "owed" sex ("I've been nothing but good to you for the last four years")

Ray phones Sand many times and when Sand picks up, Ray gets mad it took him so long to answer

Sand tells Ray not to come to him, Ray finds out where Sand is and goes to him anyways

Sand tells Ray "I'm not just stuff you have in your possession. I have feelings."

Atom shows up at Boston's house to ask why Boston isn't answering his messages

Boston and Atom have a one night stand so Atom can experiment and figure himself out but Atom is mad it was only one night

Top invites himself along on Mew's shopping trip with his moms even though Mew repeatedly tries to get him to leave

Sand says whether or not he and Nick are hooking up is none of Ray's business

Sand says that if Ray doesn't sort himself out and someone without conditions comes by he will not wait for Ray, though he says he doesn't want this to be pressure on Ray

Mew talks about Sand to Ray in the context of ownership ("If he loves you too, do your best to keep him")

Again we see the idea of ownership - who gets to dictate or have opinions on your life - and boundary crossing, especially as it pertains to leaving people alone (I've lost count in this series so far, but there's been so many cases of people saying "don't find me" or not answering texts but being tracked down regardless).

I would also like to point out how interesting it is to have Nick promise not to see Boston any more in a show where everyone has been categorically incapable of leaving people alone/tracking them down.

Friendship

We had more this episode on friendship, and what friendship entails (I was batting this idea around the other week as well).

Sand and Nick kiss then admit it did nothing for them and agree they are better off as platonic friends (though platonic friends can cuddle). Mew says it is lucky he and Ray didn't hook up because otherwise they wouldn't be able to look at each other in the eye. Again, we see friendship as something defined by the lack of sex, that sex changes a relationship (and that sex is generally something not possible/desirable in a platonic relationship).

Previously, Mew has told us friends are not people you fuck in a car, and Sand has said friends don't struggle to stop kissing one another. Only Ray has provided an alternate definition, that friendships can start from sex, though the audience may debate whether he has been successful in creating friendships or rather other types of relationships.

Change

A couple of weeks ago, and the week before that, I was tracking what characters had to say about change (did they think it was possible? under what conditions? etc.):

Nick in the past has tried to change himself (go to the gym, dress differently, etc.) to appeal to Boston. This week, Nick tells Boston he doesn't have to change, that his friends like him for who is, that people (including Nick) will love Boston for who he is.

Mew in the past has said people can change though it will take time, and he was skeptical of Top being able to change and repent. This week, Mew says he wants to give Top a second chance because he can see Top's efforts (Top is capable of change, it just takes time and effort), and Mew talks about how he himself changed (in behaviour, dress, interests, etc.) as a way to recover from his experiences and find strength ("I want you to understand that what happened to me affected my self-confidence so much. I just thought if I became someone else, I would be stronger"). Mew also tells Ray "Reduce your ego. Not everyone can put up with everything you do" (implying that Ray should change himself so Sand will stick around).

Ray in the past has hinted that change is possible, as he made comments about getting over Mew. This episode we had more of the same, with Ray saying he is working on getting over Mew though it is hard, and also showing a change in the way he interacts with Mew (more self-aware, less idealizing or all encompassing in his feelings for Mew).

Cheum in the past did not think Mew's change (in behaviour, wardrobe, interests, etc.) was good or healthy. This episode she said Mew changing is like he was possessed by an evil spirit, and she says she will come back and work on the hostel project if they all promise to stop with the mess (if they change their behaviour).

We've also been talking about how often characters in Only Friends have had a vested interest in preventing others from changing, like Cheum and Top teaming up last episode over "concern" for Mew (1, 2), and how that relates to themes of control, hypocrisy, and the permanency of labels.

Honesty (and accountability)

There was QUITE a lot of honesty this episode:

Sand and Nick trying to hookup but then admitting it isn't doing anything for them and they are better off as friends

Sand pointing out the parallels between him and Ray hooking up while Ray is seeing Mew, and Top and Boston hooking up (which Mew points out later in the episode as well)

Sand saying he likes Ray a lot and he is jealous of Ray and Mew, but he knows that isn't his place to be upset about; Ray admitting he likes Sand too but Mew is special to him and it is not easy for him to get over Mew (implying that the end goal is to get over Mew)

Ray and Sand talking about Ray's crash and how that made them feel (Ray talks about flashing back through his life when he crashed, Sand says he would have never forgiven himself, etc.), Ray asking if anyone would cry if he died

Mew and Ray's conversation on the bench where Mew says he knows Ray went to see Sand and Ray doesn't deny it, Mew says he is glad Ray picked Sand and admits "You can clearly see I dated you just to hurt Top," Ray admits that he knew that ("I kind of got the hint. But I was trying to fool myself") and says it is nice Mew loves Top; they then share the most honest and sincere "I love yous" with each other this series

Nick giving a heartfelt speech to Boston about his feelings for him, apologizing for what happened, and promising not to see him anymore

Mew admitting to Cheum he is still in love with Top and explaining the reasons why he changed as he did (he felt vulnerable and insecure)

I'd like to point out that not only are the characters being honest with each other to an extent we have not seen before, but they are also being honest with themselves. Sand admits he really likes Ray, Ray admits that he was trying to convince himself Mew actually loved him romantically, Mew admits that he changed because he was insecure and wanted to be strong and that he was just dating Ray to make Top jealous... and so on.

There's been some talk about how maturely Ray and Mew, for example, handled their break-up, and the amount of honesty in that conversation played a big role in that maturity. If the characters do not own up with themselves (and others, of course) about their behaviour, their motivations, and their impacts, how can they show true accountability and learn and grow from their actions and choices?

Hypocrisy and moral superiority

After episode 6 I threw around some ideas about Top and Mew and their dynamic. Top has a habit of casually trying to sway Mew's opinions, especially against Ray (insinuating that Ray doesn't work hard on the hostel project, insinuating that Ray will never stop having feelings for Mew, etc.). I noticed a few things this episode that reminded me of this:

Mew tells Top to stay out of his life, that his choices are none of Top's business, and Top says he knows that he has no right to make comments about Mew's life and choices (after coming in and making comments about Mew's life and choices...) and then says "I bet you know what you are doing" (trying to smooth it over and convey absolute belief in Mew)

Top doesn't show Mew the video of Ray and Sand ("I don't want to play another dirty trick to get you back") but does make it pretty clear that Ray is doing something -> he's a "good guy" because he didn't share anything that isn't his business, but he hinted at it enough he may as well have shared it. He gets to keep his veneer of "good guy" while also getting his desired outcome (getting Mew's wheels turning re: Ray) - see @thatgirl4815's post here. This is also very similar to what Mew does with Boston and the sex tape: holding all the cards, threatening with them, but not actually deploying them, which allows them to claim moral superiority (and, in Top's case, claim that he is leaving Mew alone to make his own decisions).

Top says if this "Mew the party-goer" is who he wants to be, he will support him, BUT he also says he would love to have the old Mew back -> again, Top gives himself a veneer of "good guy" (he will be there to support Mew whatever his choices are! He respects Mew's autonomy!) BUT while doing so he manages to convey his preference (Mew to return to "normal") and still give an opinion on what Mew should do. It reminds me of what Top said about Lasik - laying it out as an option and suggesting it casually, before belatedly tacking on a comment about how he like Mew in glasses. Top made his preference clear then backtracked, claiming to respect whatever Mew chooses, much in the way he frames his comments about Ray (just simple, casual observations).

This dynamic is really interesting to me given all the talks about control and hypocrisy we've been having over the course of the series, and Mew's much explored superiority complex (especially with regards to morality and sex). Top demonstrates a similar superiority complex, and given he's trying to win Mew back, it's interesting to wonder how many of these affectations have been adopted to appeal to Mew's love of the moral high ground and appease Mew's repeated protestations that his decisions are none of Top's business.

@waitmyturtles and @twig-tea were also talking last week about how this moral superiority works hand in hand with ignoring other peoples' agency and a lack of reflection on how one's actions impact others. Accountability - these young people coming to terms with how their decisions have consequences and setting aside their YOLO ways a bit to think of others - is not possible without (self-)honesty, without giving up control, without taking a step off the high horse of moral superiority and comparison.

Random thoughts

Ray and Mew talk about a sleepover they had (with at least Cheum as well) in second year and talk about being in each other's lives for 4 years... we are getting a slightly better understanding of when this group came together.

On assumptions, which I was thinking about a couple of weeks ago: this episode Ray sees Nick and Sand in bed together and assumes they were hooking up. Once again, we have a character interpreting things through their own lens and one that perhaps reveals more about that character than about what is going on.

On "should have" and the narratives we tell ourselves: once again we had Mew (and Ray) talking about their relationship in terms of what "should" be, for example Mew telling Yo he should be in love with Ray because Ray has been by his side forever.

On comparisons, since this friend squad is constantly comparing themselves to one another: Sand and Mew compare what Sand and Ray have been doing to what Top and Boston did, Ray compares his physical relationship with Mew to Top's (and isn't pleased), Sand says that compared to Boston Ray is a saint (see @lurkingshan's post on that here).

On addiction, which we've seen a lot of talk on/mention of in the show so far (but I haven't been collecting mentions of, regrettably): Mew tells his moms he is not addicted to cigarettes, Mew tells Ray to consult with a therapist about quitting drinking.

hello ephemerality squad: @chickenstrangers, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @colourme-feral, @distant-screaming, @lurkingshan, @neuroticbookworm, @rocketturtle4, @slayerkitty, @thatgirl4815, @twig-tea, @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist

[abigailmoment]

Hello. I just wanted to pop in and say that your work is incredibly inspiring. As an art student wanting to go into game development, it's been hard for me to rationalize creation unless I'm putting it into a portfolio or building my skillset somehow. However, I've been consuming a lot of other people's fan content of bg3 and slowly allowing myself to build out my own, which was further spurred on by your writing. Fan work is self-indulgent at its core, creation purely for the sake of it, and I've fallen so in love with it for that reason.

As I was working some things out in my current project, I realized I could actually imagine the story going in multiple directions. Which got me thinking about interactive fiction. Which made me think of your work yet again. I was inspired to take a peek at Twine because of what you've made, and now I'm actually considering turning my ridiculous time loop Gale au story into a meta interactive fiction work.

Anyway, the point of what I'm trying to say isn't about whatever finished product I may or may not eventually make. I'm just trying to say that what you're doing is inspiring people to create, even if it's just for the fun of it. That's how I feel about it anyway. I hope that doesn't sound too pretentious. Thank you!

GOOD. Good, that makes me so happy. I also struggle with feeling like I'm not doing valid things unless I'm creating something monetizable. Which is such a tragic way to approach art. A necessary way to a certain extent--I'm extremely lucky I'm in a position to be able to dedicate so much time and energy to a project with no financial return. I wish everyone were in that position. And I wish I could unhook the barbed hooks in our heads that tell us we must always be productive and can't just be beautiful.

Ah HAH! That sounds like a wonderful story to explore Twine with. And also REALLY interesting. If you do make it I would love to see it.

Oh, thank you. I don't think that's pretentious at all. Creation for the fun of it is a utopia to work towards. <3