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knights-of-onyx · 5 years

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Weiss’ Dilemma

This is just a quick oneshot that happens the night before the Heist near the end of RWBY vol 6. I guess you could consider this a “sequel” to my previous oneshot Blake’s Return. Enjoy.

“We’re going to steal an Atlesian airship!” His words continue to ring in her ears like a broken record. She is completely convinced that he has lost his mind. But what other options did they have? They needed to get to Atlas by yesterday, and Cordovin was not even listening to them. Weiss was convinced that there was probably a better option, but considering all she knows now about Salem, the maidens, relics, Gods, magic. This is a race against the clock, to prevent calamity. Weiss rolls her eyes; she’s already escaped house arrest, and fled a nation under martial law, might as well add “Stealing from a Military Force” to her rap sheet, what else is there to lose?

Sighing, Weiss gets up off the couch after watching Ruby and Yang play with Adrien, and makes her way to the kitchen. She has a plan in mind, as collateral in case things go to hell in a hand basket. Get things off her chest, so to speak. Why not start with the man who saved her life a couple weeks ago? Entering the kitchen, she notices Saphron cleaning up the remnants of dinner, while Terra finds some drywall compound to fix the hole in the living room wall made from her brother-in-law. “Excuse me Saphron,” asked Weiss, “Have you seen Jaune anywhere?”

Saphron merely shrugs, while Terra interjected. “I overheard him say that he was getting some air. If all of you weren’t about to do the stupidest thing in your lives, I’d give him a piece of my mind. He should be fixing this damn hole in my house!”

Weiss rubs the back of her neck awkwardly. “I apologize for that, now if you excuse me.” Weiss walks out of the kitchen and into the backyard expecting to see Jaune training, but instead runs into Ren and Nora. “Hey guys, do you know where Jaune is?”

“Well he isn’t out here, and we didn’t see him leave either,” said Nora.

“I do have an idea where he might be,” said Ren. “He will be a block or so up the street, at the memorial park across from a coffee shop.”

“Memorial?” questioned Weiss.

“You will see,” said Ren. “Just let Jaune be if he needs it.”

Confused, Weiss walked out the back gate and around the side of the house to the street. She saw the sign of a coffee shop up the road and started making her way towards it. Argus is a beautiful place she thought, it was cozy and warming to experience. It was the combination of a comfortable environment like that of a small town, but with modern protection and amenities akin to that of a kingdom. She wouldn’t mind living here if she had a choice, it was better than being at the palace that was the Schnee manor. She shuddered at the thought; even if Jaune’s plan tomorrow went flawlessly, she would still have to deal with the ramifications of her actions. She hoped that Winter was understanding, sure she will be strict and crass, but Winter was the only one with her name that she could ultimately trust; her, and Klein. With her team and all of her friends at her side, perhaps she will finally feel somewhat safe around her father.

Arriving at the coffee shop, she turned to face across the street to where, as Ren had said, a memorial park had been. Weiss, being observant as always, noticed that the memorial was rather new, which peaked her curiosity. Walking across the street and down the park’s pathways answered her question. A bronze statue of her friend, Pyrrha Nikos, lay at the centre of the park, standing proud, yet humbly sad. The sight itself took Weiss’ breath away, and she had to hold back a sob. An amazing warrior, one of the best in the world, gone too soon and in a way no one expected. She died a warrior, and a hero. Perhaps a martyr for her friends, a reason to keep moving forward; do not let her death be in vein. While the rest of world might have seen her death as a tragedy, a select few knew the truth; that she was killed in battle, in a nameless war unheard of by the masses; one that has been going on for an eternity. Weiss hated Salem and Cinder for what they have done, and Ozpin wasn’t exactly innocent in this either. At least Cinder was dead, or so was believed when Yang returned from the Vault that housed Jinn. Raven was gone, and Cinder was nowhere to be found. At this point, even a minor victory is a victory nonetheless.

Weiss choked down another sob and looked around. True to Ren’s word, the humble swordsman sat on a nearby bench hunched over with his head in his hands. He was grieving, that much she could tell. This was some alone time for him, Weiss thought. We know where he is, he will come back home eventually. This was not a place for Weiss to be right now. She thought of a quick eulogy to Pyrrha in her head and turned to walk away.

“Weiss?” she heard him say. Shit, he knows she’s there. And his voice was hoarse, probably from crying. Could she really blame him? He lost his partner forever. What did everyone else lose at the Fall of Beacon? Yang lost her arm granted, but she is still here. She might not be 100 percent, but she is still making an effort to join the fight. Blake got injured and ran away, but she’s back. All of them might have lost Pyrrha, but only Jaune lost the one person who had always believed in him. Weiss couldn’t imagine the amount of guilt and sadness that was coursing through his entire body. Weiss stopped and turned to face him, his eyes were swollen and red; yep, definitely crying.

“Jaune, I’m sorry,” said Weiss hastily. “I just wanted to know where you were. Um, take your time, and we will see you back at th-”

“Weiss,” he said again. “It’s okay, I should probably head back. It’s a big day tomorrow right?” He stood up and looked up at the statue. He whispered something that Weiss couldn’t hear, and then walked towards her. “Shall we?”

“Jaune, can we talk?”

“Uhh, okay? Ask me along the way.”

“Can we just stay here? It will only be a couple minutes.”

Jaune hesitated, but nodded in understanding. He motioned towards the bench he was sitting on before. “What’s on your mind?”

Weiss sat down and Jaune sat next to her. “I... I just....” She paused.

“You just?” prodded Jaune.

Weiss sighed. “I just want to thank you for saving me back at Mistral. I honestly don’t know what would have happened had you not been there.”

Jaune looks down and fiddles with his fingers in his lap. “I don’t want to even think about ‘What if’ Weiss; you scared all of us there. I’m just happy that we’re all still here.” He looked towards her. “I-,” he paused and looked away. “You’re welcome.”

“And hey, you unlocked your semblance. That’s exciting,” she said, giving him a polite shove.

“True, I just wished it would have happened under… less life threatening experiences.”

“Jaune, I am alive and well because of you. It’s as you said, we’re all still here.”

“Yeah, well most of us are here anyway,” he said as he looked up at the statue.

Sensing his mood shift, Weiss scooted over closer to him. “Jaune, Pyrrha would be proud to see you where you are right now, what you have accomplished.” She puts her hand on his shoulder. “You should know that you can talk to any of us when it comes to, well, anything. We’re a team, dare I say a family.”

“Thanks Weiss,” smiled Jaune weakly.

“You know, when we first arrived at beacon, I wanted Pyrrha to be on my team so badly,” said Weiss.

Jaune scoffed. “I’m fairly certain everyone wanted her on their team.”

“You did too if I recall,” said Weiss. “Only for a different reason than everyone else. I mean, you didn’t even know who she was. You are the only dolt I know that religiously ate the cereal that had her face plastered on the box and on billboards, and you still didn’t recognize her,” laughed Weiss.

“To be fair, that’s the reason why she wanted to be my partner in the first place,” laughed Jaune. Good, he’s smiling, she thought.

“I was confused at first as to why Pyrrha freaking Nikos, of all people, fell in love with you, especially with you trying to flirt with me all the time,” said Weiss.

“Yeah, that wasn’t my shining moment in life,” muttered Jaune.

“But I began to understand how caring and selfless you are, and I admire it. I initially thought you were trying to get with me for fame and fortune because of the Schnee name. But I don’t see you now as that type of person, and I don’t think that you ever were,” said Weiss. “I guess what I am trying to say is that you are a good friend Jaune, and that I can always trust on you to do the right thing. So I hope that tomorrow goes off without a hitch.”

“I can trust you too Weiss, thank you. That means a lot.”

Weiss reaches down and grabs his hands. “Jaune, I heard what you said to Cinder back at Haven. I get that you’re hurting, I do. But next time please, for all of your friends’ sake, don’t rush a power hungry sadistic magical warlord in battle okay? That hurts more than you can imagine.”

Jaune gently closes his hands around Weiss’. “I’m sorry Weiss, I just got… overwhelmed with emotion.”

“I understand. I just don’t want to see my friend be killed, okay?”

“Okay,” said Jaune. Weiss and Jaune let go of each other’s hands and turn back towards the statue. Weiss’ thoughts turn sour at tomorrow’s outlook.

Weiss grabs her own hands tightly. “Jaune, I’m… I’m afraid.”

“Afraid?” asked Jaune.

“Assuming all goes well tomorrow, that means that I, we, will be heading Atlas. Back to the general, back to… my father.”

Jaune hears the pain in her voice. “Weiss, you will not be alone. Our friends will be at your side.”

“You don’t get it Jaune, my father is powerful man. He always gets what he wants, who knows how many people he has under his thumb to acquire power. He’s done horrible things to me, to Winter, to anyone that stands up to him. I’m afraid of what he will do to me when we get back. Even now, I am a Schnee in name only. I have no worth in my father’s world, or in the company.

Jaune clenches his jaw. “It’s as you say Weiss, we are a family. More of a family to you than your father ever was to you. When worse comes to worse, I’ll dethrone that man who considers himself king. Even if means my death, I’m willing to make that sacrifice.”

“I appreciate that, but I hope it doesn’t come to your death.”

“Good.” Jaune and Weiss sit in silence for a moment, looking up at the statue, or at the night sky. Contemplating life, and every truth they have come to know over the last few days.

“Jaune, shall we go back?” asked Weiss.

“Yeah, we should before everyone starts to worry. You know what Ruby is like,” said Jaune.

“You’re telling me,” retorted Weiss.

“Good point.” The pair got up and started walking back towards the house, but not before giving one more silent farewell to their fallen friend.

“So Jaune, I am curious. How exactly did you come up with the plan for tomorrow?” asked Weiss.

“Well I was here earlier, and I looked up past Pyrrha and I saw an airship flying overhead.”

“And you’re saying that gave you the idea to steal from the Atlesian Military?” asked Weiss incredulously.

“Uh yeah, pretty much.”

“…..”

“Weiss?”

“You dolt”

#rwby #rwby oneshot #Jaune Arc #weiss schnee #rwby whiteknight #platonic whiteknight #drabble #fanfiction #My writing #white knight #whiteknight #Jaune x weiss #rwby volume 6 spoilers #rwby6 spoilers #RWBY volume 6 #rwby6

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iwannawritepls · 4 years

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Writing Update 05

Guess who finished. guess. go on guess. That’s right it was me!!

It was pretty intense because my playlist had finished and so I was sat feverishly typing the last paragraph out in silence and then when I went round for the final spell check I was listening to Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths and it finished as I finished and it was a moment.

So so so. in total we have

69069 words (nice) and 102 pages spread over 23 chapters and 5 parts. I can actually go into the plot and stuff now too because I know what that is from start to finish. I won’t go into that here I’ll just talk about the last chapters. Buckle up this ones gonna be long.

Whence last we left off there were 17 chapters and now there’s twenty-three. Chapter seventeen also has an actual name too so yay.

Chapter 17 – Pinches of Catgut

Chapter 18 – Yours Forever, Echo

Chapter 19 – Ink’s Tarnish

Chapter 20 – Red Room

Chapter 21 – Crosshatched Scars

Chapter 22 – Chasing Sundust

Chapter 23 – Amen

Chapter 17 originally is now what chapter 18 and chapter 23 isn’t really an epilogue but it also is y’know? Like the last two chapters are the endings in their own right (I say as if I didn’t stop reading The Darkest Minds seven pages from the end)

But c’est la vie!

Chapter 16 (I can finally explain this stuff woo) we had the fallout to the guy’s being told they have to pay the devil – who isn’t really the devil and is actually a god in his own right but that’s beside the point – back for everything he’s done for them. this one focuses on Valentine and Albert having a bit of a moment where I realised ‘oh gosh everyone is a foil to everyone oh gosh’

Chapter 17 is kinda the same but from William and Basil’s side where they have their own conversation about who Will killed Charlie by accident….yeah…William is still baby he just killed someone that’s fine. This is fine.

Chapter 18 is where shit hits the fan because oh my god James is back!!!!! Idk if I mentioned this but James is Enoch’s dead bf who wasn’t dead at all and I’ve been hinting at it the entre god damned book. I almost didn’t include it but after a talk with one of my friends I realised that James’ being alive would bring in more tea than ever before and well,,,,,,why wouldn’t I?

Oh yeah James also tells Enoch that everyone is coming to find them.

The way I'm explaining this seems like stuff just happens, but I swear I do add threads throughout! I'm just disjointed in my thought process.

Chapter 19 is the beginning of the end. We have a rush to pack as they’re trying to get out and they would have more help from James but Basil doesn’t trust James, Enoch is drunk, William has lost a lot of blood and both Al and Valentine had been asleep so they’re slow and groggy and it’s raining because England and winter and the coast is just a great combination.

Enoch and James end up going ahead cus people are getting close and they need to get their stuff away from there. There were three cases left to tie but they didn’t have time so while James and Enoch go ahead the others are carrying the last three cases to the docks so they can tie and run.

Chapter 20 is where Enoch wraps his beef with Aristide up. kinda. He originally planned on just saying goodbye but then stuff happens and he feels bad for Aristide so he just gives him to the devil without the murder part of it.

Chapter 21 valentine kills his uncle and gets closure™

Chapter 22 this chapter is so good. I love it, I love it so much. I'm still kinda feeling funky about it because its got a flashback and the rest of the book hasn’t got anything exactly like this – unless you consider the small titbit in chapter 17 a flashback. But I really delve into Sebastian’s psyche and before then I kinda hated Sebastian but it feels like he's had a whole ass character arch and I love it. I really love this chapter so much.

And finally chapter 23 is them running and the last of the setup for the next book

I want to include memes but they’re all old stuff. If I have anything new, I’ll insert it if not I’ll keep 5 random facts about the boy’s as my transition.

Albert

When he was a bab he wanted to meet keats before he realised the mans is dead.

Can write in shorthand in both Russian and English just so long as he doesn’t focus too hard on it

Albert is his middle name, Lyonya is his first name

Is a cat person.

Orders the same meal at every restaurant even if they don’t serve it. if they don’t serve it he has a tiny crisis.

Also defo has one of the others order for him

Basil

Defo a gifted and talented student if he was alive today

He's technically an accountant and low key enjoys it

Can fight but is a pacifist by choice

Skipped class once and got bored and never did it again

When they were still at school he would look after the groups deeds to land and do all the legal stuff for them because they had no clue. He still has all of Valentine’s papers and so could technically steal valentines land and nobody would care.

Enoch

Isn’t gay is actually bisexual

Is really good at science but just doesn’t care about it

He ate leek and potato soup exclusively for three weeks on a dare

Once played Mercutio and tripped on stage. Managed to hide it pretty well but hasn’t lived it down.

Would live in an old theatre if he could just for the aesthetic and bragging rights

Valentine

His family is of German heritage

Bakes as a stress relief but gets hyper focused on one thing for ages (tarts is the big one of the year)

Is the mum of the group but wouldn’t ever admit it

Cannot do maths for shit. or much else. He can just speak a lot and paint.

It’s a continuous joke irl and in novel universe that he’s called Valentine, but his birthday is on February 15th because his parents thought it was still February 14th when he was born.

William

Allergic to honey but would eat it anyway

Joined classes three years after everyone else

Is the only one in the group that understands people

Has a really bad centre of gravity and falls over a lot

He's 6’7

Bonus – a wild Sebastian appeared.

Acts 50 is 20

Is just brine

In a constant state of identity crisis

Was he born or did he just appear fully formed? Nobody knows

Always stuck as Benvolio. No matter what. forever. He hates it.

Excerpts! –

“you are a walking disaster.” Basil sighed

“I'm your favourite disaster though.” He could hear the smile in Enoch’s voice.

I just like these lines. Nothing too deep just thought they were funny.

Basil placed a hand on his knee hoping the rain could drown out what the music that followed William could not.

My mans being a supportive friend

He finished pulling the manuscript together and reached for the box Albert kept all his current writings in. it was a small box with darker patches between the broken veins where ink had spit and flowed between the cracks.

i have nothing to say about this

They only had real tenderness with some of the fragile things. A school given copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream, a book by a man called Sashenka Potemkin, teacups with still blooming meadows painted onto them, a book about a monastery, a violin case that had nail marks embedded into the leather, an easel.

Y’know keepsakes are Important but if you’re running shouldn’t you pack light? Probably but these guys are sentimental bastards

The shops were alive with people, the two pubs were open and selling even the tailoress was in business. He wasn’t entirely surprised; worms came out during a storm. They thrived when the squawking of the gulls had disappeared.

We live in a society – Enoch 2019

The gate yielded under his hand, the closest he got to acceptance in the high walls. It seemed colder once he’d walked into the threshold, urging him towards the sickening feeling of unbelonging that sat in his gut. It made him want to turn away and never come back some of the time. How much he didn’t belong there.

Sebastian is yearning™

Basil reached into Albert’s pocket and pulled the crocus out. Albert didn’t react as he did so. he stared at it twirling it between his fingers staring at the petals and their untarnished glory despite having been used to kill them all at least once.

And while that isn’t the last line that’s the end of this. I'm taking a break from beginning anything big and while I want to move onto writing Adalius, Ariane and Adionis’ story I’ll wait for a moment before I do. just because I cant bring myself to think about how I'm starting this yet.

Anyway. That means no updates for at least 3 weeks. I know you’re all distraught. But yeah.

I hope you have a good day.

Thanks for reading this!

BYEEE!

#writing update #i finished something #its the end of an era #i miss my boys already #gosh #whats next #i dont know #i wanna take a nap #im gonna take a nap #thanks for reading this #and all of these #writingupdate #and i love my boys #sisyphus update

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theflashfics · 6 years

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Phoenix // Cisco Ramon

Pairing: Cisco Ramon x reader

Summary: You encounter Cisco on at Jitters and reveal you are a professor of biomechanics and bioengineering, so he figures he could use your help on a fire-wielding meta case they are calling Phoenix - unaware that the meta is you. You eventually turn to him for help, burning a building in the process.

Warnings: Mention of family death, arson, very mild kissing

Word Count: 5182

Requests: Open!

A/N: If you see this, go to my inbox and request a oneshot - can be smut (I’d be more than happy for that). I’m really needing some inspiration and I think some dirty Flash oneshots would do the trick! I don’t care what kinks, pairings, just give me all the requests.

The line at Jitters was irritatingly long for that mild Monday morning. You were already late and the early morning chatter of Central City citizens felt like little bugs crawling on you – annoying. People weren’t your favourite. You just needed your Flash coffee and to get to work. You worked as a professor at the local college, majoring in biomechanics, bioengineering, and had a doctorate. The only part of your life you could salvage after the particle accelerator exploded and changed you. The students loved you even if you weren’t so fond of them – with a wry smile and a flick of the hand, you made everyone feel as if they had an inside joke with you. But they were tiring, and it took a great deal of energy to keep your composure in the early morning lessons, so coffee it was. “Damn, this line is taking forever,” you voiced your concerns under your breath. “Amen, sister,” someone grumbled. The voice, it turned out, belonged to the cute guy with shoulder length charcoal hair in front of you. He turned around to greet you with a toothy grin. You paused for a second – he was so cute. And you were sure you knew him from somewhere; maybe it was the hair…

You must have hesitated for a second too long because the cute guy waved his hand in front of your face and said, “Hello? Earth to…” “Y/N. And you.” You snapped back to life, grinning. “Cisco at your service,” he did a comical bow and came back up smiling, tucking his hair back – which you found matched his eyes, like melted chocolate. “And so, Cisco, do you wave your hand over the faces of all the girls you meet in cafes?” “Just the pretty ones.” He stuck his tongue out and moved up a spot in the line “Fuck off,” you said roughly, trying not to blush, pushing him up to the counter. “Ooh, spicy. Caliente.” He laughed and turned his attention to the waitress. “I’ll have one black coffee and a-“ he turned to you. “What?” You hissed, then begrudgingly said, “A Flash.” “Please?” He raised an eyebrow. “You offered,” you said, shrugging. “And a Flash for little miss cinnamon.” Cisco said. He payed for the coffees and took a step back. “By the way, I’m not sticking around. I’ve got to work.” You said, looking at your feet. Since the explosion, you’ve never really been good with talking to people. A bit rough around the edges, you might say. “What do you do?” “Professor.” “Of?” “Bioengineering and biomechanics,” you replied drily. Cisco’s eyes narrowed a tad and you could almost see the cogs whirring in his mind, but instead had a usual snappy reply.

“Oh, she’s a smart one!” “Uh-uh.” “Not really one for small talk, are you.” “Nope.” “It’s a good thing you’re pretty then, Scary Spice.” You blushed considerably and let down your façade a bit. “You seem to have a thing for nicknames,” you commented. He nodded, grinning, and said, “You betcha.” He gave you another look that resembled the one after you told him what you had majored in. “Something you need?” You said snippily. “Would you take a day off work and help me out at STAR Labs with something?” He asked, twiddling his thumbs and looking apprehensive. You were glad you didn’t have your coffee because you would have choked on it. Instead, you raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Cisco. “Well, because me and my team are trying to find this metahuman who’s been destroying the city,” he hastily explained himself, “and you might be able to help us out, with what you know about bioengineering and mechanics and all that, it could be a massive help. If you want to, I mean.” You pretended to think about it, then shrugged. “I’m sure I could get a substitute to teach the class today. The syllabus is quite easy currently in the semester. So, sure. I’ll help you out.” Cisco fist pumped and then, seeing you looking quizzically at him, crossed his arms over his chest and tried to look nonchalant.

“Just a warning, I’m not the best with people.” You reminded him. “Pffft, you’ve got a bunch a bunch of classes. You must be good. You’re good with me.” He said merrily. “Having students doesn’t mean I have friends,” you said coldly, collecting your coffee from the counter where it waited for you. It wasn’t a lie – you didn’t have many friends. You pushed away the old ones and anyone who tried was put out by your standoffish and faintly rude behaviour. Cisco frowned and followed quickly after you. As he caught up to you, you smiled to yourself. You liked him. But it was dangerous, because you had a feeling the meta that Cisco’s team was looking for was someone you knew really well. Plus, you had an uneasy feeling the you knew Cisco, and not in a good way. You arrived at STAR Labs with Cisco fifteen minutes later and patted your skirt down. You were wearing your teaching gear, a black pencil skirt and a tight black top, paired with fiery red heels that you walked in with scary purpose. Your H/C hair was straightened and fell in sheets beside your face. Makeup was only utilised because you thought it made you look intimidating; you used red lipstick and black eyeliner so sharp it could cut a man. Cisco remarked on how fiery it made you look. He wasn’t wrong – just scarily right. You walked through a concrete hallway to reach the main workplace of STAR Labs.

“Welcome to the Cortex!” Cisco exclaimed, throwing his hands out as if presenting the place to someone important. You surveyed the place; mostly white, super advanced tech that your hands were itching to get a hold of. “What the fuck,” you said under your breath as a group of people walked into the Cortex. You recognized the slender brunette as Caitlin Snow – you had consulted her briefly while studying before the explosion, back when you felt normal – but you weren’t familiar with the others in the group. “Hey guuuys,” Cisco drew out the last word as they looked immediately disapproving of someone new in the lab. “This is Y/N,” he continued, “And I think she can give us a hand with this meta case.” “And you picked her up off the street…?” “No, Harry,” Caitlin jumped in, adressing the tall man firmly, who you assumed was Harrison Wells, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. One of the smartest people I’ve ever met. And she can most definitely give us a hand in figuring out this meta’s weakness.” You smiled gratefully at her but let it drop fast. The others mumbled, and Caitlin and Cisco tried to reason with them. “Enough of the foreplay, what’s this meta we’re talking about.” You chimed in, walking over to a computer and beginning to type. Cisco gave a pointed look and a grin to the rest of the group and they complied, following your steps and beginning to explain.

“Well, if you’d let me get to my computer, I might let you know, little miss cinnamon,” Cisco said playfully shoving you over. You rolled your eyes and smiled, saying, “I liked Scary Spice better.” “Scary Spice it is. But anyway, this meta has caused millions of dollars in property damage. And do you know what her power is? Fire.” He pulled up images and videos of a leather clad woman who was on fire, throwing balls of flames towards buildings, laughing manically. But what really drew your eyes to it was the fire behind her, creating long, feather-like wispy flames, that resembled wings. You stared upon it all, and your heart sunk to your feet. The meta they were trying to find wasn’t just anyone - it was you.

Since the particle accelerator exploded, you’ve had strange things happen around you – because of you. Things bursting into flames, people getting first degree burns around you in winter, your hands literally catching fire. You’d become one of the metahumans that were terrorising the news. At first, you tried to hide your powers, you were sweet and mild and normal before them; and after all, the Flash would come and take you to a prison. That would suck. Especially since all your family had been murdered in a freak fire the night of the particle accelerator incident, so no one would visit you. But in the end, so much bitterness and anger and hate built up inside of you that you wanted to destroy things, to watch it all burn. So now it was your name that was dancing across the news – not your real one, of course.

“I call her Pheonix,” Cisco announced proudly. You gave a tight-lipped smile to the group and nodded. A thought popped into your head – maybe if you helped them find you, and became their friend, you could infiltrate STAR Labs and burn everything. It was what they deserved for what they did to you. But Cisco, a voice in your head reminded you. You pushed that thought away and formulated a plan. A tall brunette, who Cisco had earlier referred to as Barry stepped in and starting speaking. “So, uh, the Flash told me-“ he shot a nervous look at you and you rolled your eyes. “Barry, I know you’re the Flash.” You said without taking your eyes off the computers. Everyone around you fell silent for a half second, then erupted into a mass of “What?! No!” You figured it out as soon as you walked into the room. The Flash had tried to find you and defeat you before – perhaps defeat is the wrong word, maybe subdue? – but was unsuccessful. It wasn’t hard to see from Barry’s build and voice that he was the Scarlet Speedster. “Oh, shut up!” You said, exasperated, “I honestly couldn’t care less. But I think I know where you could find your Phoenix next.” They turned their attention back to you and urged you on. You tapped away at a keyboard and pulled up a map of central city and the buildings that the Phoenix had burnt – the buildings that you had burnt.

“It’s a pattern. She’s hitting every third building diagonally, going in some sort of triangle. So, going off that, next place she’ll hit is that massive expensive hotel. Plus, she’s been striking every third day so she should be doing it tomorrow night at nine o’clock.” That was true, and you felt a twinge of irritation as you told Team Flash your plan, but if you were reluctant to help because of Phoenix they may think you are in a team with her, or maybe even figure out that you are her. Cisco hummed in agreeance. Barry nodded as well, “So, let’s set a trap for her.” “No,” said Cisco firmly. You were glad the rest of the group looked just as confused as you are. He realised no one was catching on so he stood up and explained further. “We did that last time, remember? And Barry and I ended up with a second-degree burn.” He turned to you and quickly said, “I’ve got powers and my other name is Vibe. I’ll explain later.” Your mind instantly clicked. Of course! That’s where you knew him from. You nearly ended up having to fight him but instead dived out of a burning window and flew away with your flaming wings. Afraid of looking too shocked, you just nodded and let him continue. “But that’s not the only reason. I don’t think she’s that bad, y’know?”

Wrong.

“She tried to burn down two buildings, what’s right about that,” Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows. Cisco shrugged, struggling to get his point across. “But I saw something in her. She didn’t want to hurt people.” Team Flash looked dubious. “You know how she hit the eighth floor first?” They nodded. “That floor was under construction. No-one was working there, not even the construction workers. And she waited until Barry here had gotten everyone out of the building before she started burning everything.” “That’s true,” Barry chimed in. “And,” Cisco went on, “When she burnt Barry, I don’t think she meant to. And she most definitely didn’t want to fight me. She looked angry. Angry and scared.” You swallowed hard. They were getting closer to the truth with every word they said and yet they couldn’t seem to see that you were right in front of them. “Maybe she’s like me and Killer Frost? A different personality,” Caitlin suggested, walking to take a closer look at the videos still rolling of you ravaging the accounting building.

“See, pause the video there,” she said, pointing at the freezeframe of your face, “Looking at her eyes; they’re like Killer Frost’s, except instead of ice, it’s fire.” “She’s not like that.” You said way too quickly. Everyone’s heads turned to you and you tried to explain yourself, your mind not finding anything. “I don’t know, I’m just getting a feeling.” “A vibe?” Cisco joked. “Funny.” “I am funny,” he mused. You shook your head, smiling at your feet. Cisco looked back at the group. “Look, we know that she doesn’t want to hurt people so let’s not hurt her. We’ll just talk to her. I think she’s good.” Stupid. They’re so stupid. I’m literally trying to burn the building down. “What if she’s not,” you said coldly. Team Flash stared at you, confused at your sudden mood change. “Some people aren’t good. And she’s not good. She’s hurting people. Maybe not physically. But what has she done for the city? Nothing but damage and destruction. She’s a meta. She’s a monster.” I’m a monster. “Y/N-“ Cisco started but you cut him off, picking up your purse. “I shouldn’t have come here.” You said shortly, collecting your purse off the desk and walking out, leaving Team Flash with questions.

A knock on your apartment door startled you. You had skipped out on all your remaining classes, letting the old substitute teach them. God, you hated that substitute. That’s all that seemed to flow through you these days – hate, anger and fear. Literally the worst emotions possible. And then finally, you met Cisco! He was cute, and sweet, and made you blush like a schoolgirl. What luck you had when he asked you to help out on a case about a dangerous meta – until you found out that meta was you. You ran home, swathed in self loathing and loathing for everyone else, as well. They were right, in some respects – you weren’t going to hurt anyone. But you were a monster. How did a plan to burn down STAR Labs manage to sneak into your mind? You had spent the rest of the day sulking in your messy apartment, entertaining yourself by sitting in the bath and creating small, inextinguishable fires underneath the crystal-clear water. It was an unusual sensation, prickly and fun. But it reminded you of what you were doing tomorrow night, so you got out of the bath, ordered a pizza, and sulked on your couch instead.

You begrudgingly got up to answer the door and nearly slammed it close again when you saw Cisco. “What are you doing here?” You narrowed your eyes, all traces of makeup gone. “That’s not how you should greet your sexy newfound friend,” he pouted. That would have risen a smile out of you in other circumstances, but nothing could right now. “How did you find me?” You said dully. “Satellite.” “That’s creepy, you know.” “Haven’t you ever done a creepy thing?” He said in his usual fun manner. You sighed. “What are you doing here?” You repeated, fidgeting with the lock on the door. His smile fell a bit. “I was worried. Phoenix could have taken you.” “Why would she want anything to do with me?” You laughed dryly at the irony of the situation. Cisco shrugged. “Maybe I just wanted a reason to see you again,” he smiled sweetly, tucking a lock of chocolatey hair behind his ear. You perked up for a split second, grinning, then remembered what you’d done. “Trust me, you don’t.” You said bitterly, closing the door on him. You closed your eyes hard, then walked to your closet, pulling out a leathery suit, identical to the one Phoenix was wearing – the one you were wearing. “Hello, old friend,” you whispered, then began devising a plan.

It was the next night, and everything was going to plan. You had arrived earlier than Team Flash were expecting at that massive expensive hotel, disguised as the head janitor with your leather suit underneath. The plan was: send all janitors to different floors, set the janitor floor on fire with only you in it, wait for the Flash to come rescue everyone in the hotel, burn it to the ground, and leave. Leave Central City. You had no clue where you were going. Maybe Starling City? Maybe Paris? Just somewhere where they could fix you, take away your powers, leave you normal again. As you ordered the janitors away you felt guilt rising in your throat. Images of Cisco and his stupid gorgeous hair and stupid gorgeous eyes kept appearing in your head, and it didn’t help that you were going to see him tonight. You snapped back to life when you realised all the janitors were off the floor, so you stripped of your ugly uniform and revealed the leather underneath. It was black, with red detailing – quite similar to your outfit the other day when you met Cisco...Damnit, he’s in your head again. You pushed that aside and burnt the janitor uniform, leaving it as a pile of ash. Once again Cisco popped into your mind, grinning, laughing, touching you… In a split second there was a chink in your armour, and your mind took it, leading you to a lone computer in the janitor’s closet. You tapped away at the keyboard, sending a message to STAR Labs.

“Oh, shit!” Cisco said, sitting up straight in his chair with a worried look on his face, “Pheonix is early.” Barry swore under his breath. “Where?” He was in his red suit in a heartbeat. Cisco quickly redirected the satellite and told Barry of your whereabouts. “She’s burning the janitor’s floor. No one is on it – again.” Just after Barry whooshed away, STAR Labs received an alert. The shorter male frowned and displayed it onto the various screens in the Cortex. “Oh, no no no no no. This isn’t happening.” Cisco panicked, tucking his hair behind his ears. Through the intercom, Barry heard him and asked what happened. Cisco swallowed hard. “We just got a message from Pheonix. She must have hacked into a computer or something.” “OK, what does it say?” Barry urged Cisco on as he reached the burning hotel. There was a short pause, then a gasp (elicited from Caitlin as she read the message).

I HAVE Y/N.

“Oh, Scary Spice,” Cisco’s jaw hardened as he read the message repeatedly. How had this happened? “I should’ve stayed with her last night. Then this wouldn’t have happened.” He berated himself, head in hands. Harry walked in with his usual blasé expression and tone. “Nothing you can do about it now, Ramon. If Phoenix has Y/N then we get her back,” the scientist reasoned, shoving Cisco over so he could talk to Barry. “Get everyone out of that building,” he directed, and Barry responded with a grunt of affirmation. Cisco was biting his tongue – all he could think about was the danger that you were in. He stood up abruptly. “I’m going.” He stated, picking up his suit and Vibe gear from where they sat in a nearby duffel bag. “Cisco,” Caitlin chided, “You could get killed. Phoenix doesn’t sound so lenient this time, if she’s already got a hostage.” “I don’t care,” said Cisco roughly, “I’m the one who got her into this so I’m going to get her out.” Caitlin gave a furtive glance at Harry who shrugged. “Be safe,” she ended up saying. Cisco grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m always safe.” He then walked into a breach that led to your burning hotel floor.

You tapped your foot impatiently. There wasn’t much time left before this floor would crumble and bring the building down with it. Luckily, your fires could only be put out by you. They were inextinguishable by anything (you’d fooled the Flash into thinking it was him who put out the fires, but it was really you) and it was very hot. You felt a familiar gust of wind and smiled deviously, turning around. “Hello, Fla-“ You stopped in your tracks, instead finding Cisco standing in front of a breach. Your mouth fell open but you pulled yourself together. “And I suppose you’ve come here to find Y/N,” you said nonchalantly, as if discussing the weather. Cisco – Vibe – took a step forward. “Where is she?” He growled. If he wasn’t disgusted by you then, you would have thought it rather sexy. “Why the urgency? For little ol’ Y/N?” You felt dirty saying it – like a jewellery thief taking words out of people’s mouths. “You’re not answering my questions.” He took another step forward. “And you mine,” you snarled. His façade faltered a slight. “Is she… hurt?” He said. “Not yet.” Which was partially true. You were going to be hurting a lot when he started fighting you to find Y/N. It was all rather ironic, you thought.

“I know you don’t want to hurt people, Phoenix.” Cisco’s hair fell in his eyes, and you felt the urge to tuck it behind his ear, but you realised you weren’t exactly in the position to do that. “What if I do?” You nearly yelled, igniting your hands with flames. Cisco cocked his head in a birdlike tilt. “What if I do?” You repeated. “I’m burning a building as we speak! I’ve burnt others, taken peoples jobs and maybe even homes! You don’t know anything about me. I’m a monster.” You tone fell to a whisper on the last sentence. Before Cisco said anything, the Flash whooshed into the room, making the flames flicker. “Phoenix, stop what you’re doing.” He said, preparing his hero speech, “I can stop you.” “Try,” you shrugged feebly. Barry instantly began whirring his arms, creating a vacuum in the room – but the flames thrived even more. “It’s not working,” he put a finger to his ear, talking to Harry. “Don’t bother talking to them,” you said, waving a hand, “The fires have only been put out the other times because I put them out. Not you and your windmill act.” Cisco and Barry exchanged worried glances.

“You need to stop this,” Cisco said, moving closer in a fighting stance. You didn’t move, only making your hands burst into flames once more. “I don’t want to dance this dance again, Vibe,” you said weakly. “You’re gonna have to, because I’m not letting Y/N be imprisoned by a crazy arsonist,” Cisco warned, holding his hands up. You looked around you, still in the same slouch you stood in when they arrived. Flames were swallowing the floor, nay the building. It was going to come down soon. Was this really who you were? Some crazy arsonist who befriends people only to burn down the place they work? You shook your head and gave a faint wave of the hand. Instantly, all the flames were extinguished, leaving a blackened ashy mess of a floor. You felt weak, you hadn’t slept in a while. Taking a shaky step forward, you saw how confused Barry and Cisco looked. There was only one way to make them take you back to STAR Labs and fix your powers. “Sorry about this,” you mumbled, then charged with all the strength you had at Cisco. In the split second you ran at him, he sent a flurry of vibrations towards you, knocking you down. You melted into darkness, and you were out cold.

“Do you think she’s dead?”

“Obviously not, Cisco. Look, she’s breathing.”

“Maybe it’s the steady pulse of death.”

“Ramon, I thought you were a scientist.”

“I am, Mr Tall Dark and Handsome. Can you brood somewhere else?”

“Guys, shhh. She’s waking up.”

Figures began swimming into your vision, voices making their way into your ears. You were lying down in some sort of cell. It had padded blue walls and a huge glass door, and there was a camera sitting in the top corner. You knew where you were: the particle accelerator had been refashioned into metahuman cells. Cisco had told you eagerly about them when you were there days earlier. How ironic it was that now you were on the other side of the thick glass cell. Of course, that meant that it dampened your powers. You tested it, giving a small flick of the hand, but could achieve nothing but a prickle in your fingertips. You opened your eyes fully, blinking the figures into vision – Harry, Cisco, Caitlin, Barry. “That’s not going to work, you know.” That voice belonged to Barry Allen. You let out a weak laugh. “If only it was always like this.” The others looked perplexed. You remembered they didn’t know that you, Y/N, were actually Phoenix. And they couldn’t have found out by taking off your mask, either. It had melded to you, and only you had the power to take it off. “Where’s Y/N?” Someone said, walking up to the cell. It was Cisco. You pushed yourself to sit up with your back against the back wall, knees up in front of you.

“Always with the questions, Cisco,” you attempted a grin, but your previous endeavours – the burning hotel one – had tired you out and the smile fell short. The chocolate haired male frowned and leaned up against a wall with his arms crossed. “You know my name.” It was a statement, but it sounded like a question. You nodded. “How?” He asked. “Not important.” “Where’s Y/N?” “Not important, either.” You deflected his questions. Cisco clenched his fists and his jaw hardened considerably. “Where. Is. Y/N. And stop doing those stupid little answers.” He growled. “What can I say, I’m not much for small talk,” you smiled faintly, and your words struck familiar in his mind. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head, remembering back to two days ago in Jitters. Team Flash, whom you’d almost forgotten were there, looked thoroughly confused. Cisco turned back to you, eyebrows furrowed. “Have you been spying on me? On Y/N?” He accused, getting angrier. “For a smart guy, you’re not being that smart right now,” you laughed humourlessly. Cisco cocked his head once again in that birdlike motion. “I don’t have Y/N,” you stated. The group stared blankly at you. Upon realising their confusion, you peeled your mask from your face and shook out your hair, smiling weakly up at Cisco. “Surprise.”

Cisco’s face contorted from emotion to emotion, irritation, anger, betrayal, before landing on sadness. He shooed team flash out of the room and they quickly obeyed, knowing he needed to talk to you. You could see him trying to find the words as he paced before you. “I-“ He began, then put a hand up and started walking away. Sadness flooded through you, but he stopped at the control pad, opening the cell and then closing it again. Before it shut indefinitely, he squeezed through the crevice as it closed. “That was athletic,” you made a weak stab at a joke. He shrugged sadly, sitting down next to you in the same position – though looking far more put together than your dishevelled self. “I didn’t want to talk to you like that. Like an animal in a cage.” He said. “Am I not?” You said lightly, but Cisco’s face darkened and he said, “No.” You were silent for a few seconds. “Do you hate me?” You said, a tear slipping down your face. “Of course not,” Cisco murmured, taking hold of your hand; your heart gave a jolt. “I’m not mad, just… confused. Why are you doing this?”

You exhaled loudly. “I’m so tired. I’m tired, and angry, and scared. And I needed to release all that anger on something – not someone, I’m not a murderer – and when I got my powers it just became obvious that I should be doing that. So I became one of the metas on the news. It’s not like I enjoy doing it! I feel like absolute shit after it all happens. I just want it to go away. I don’t want my powers, Cisco.” You were sure you looked a treat – ashen face and tears rolling down your cheeks, but Cisco didn’t seem to mind. He reached up and pressed the pad of his thumb to your cheek, wiping away your tears. He looked at you with a sad expression on his gorgeous face. “Don’t pity me,” you said bitterly. “I’m not going to pity you, but I can help you.” You snapped your head to look at him. “You can get rid of my powers?” You asked feebly. Cisco shook his head and your smile faltered. “No, but I can train you,” he suggested. You let out another weak laugh. “So, I can be like the Flash? A hero?” “Absolutely.” There was more promise in his voice then you’d heard your whole life.

“Oh, Cisco,” you smiled, “What do you see in me?” A lock of his hair fell out from behind his ear and you finally lifted up your hand and pushed it back, your hand lingering. Suddenly, Cisco took hold of your face and kissed you, soft and gentle. “I see-“ he said between kisses –“a gorgeous-“ he slipped his tongue into your mouth -“smart girl-“ you moaned against his lips –“who may have gotten into a bit of trouble-“ he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours –“and is most definitely not a monster.” And for a few moments, all you heard was each other’s steady breathing. “Thankyou, Cisco.” You let out quietly, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips and he mumbled a “You’re welcome” against you before deepening the kiss. His hand fell to your hips and kept a loose grip there. His lips were soft against yours but you were hot, fiery, caliente.

“Hey, um, can you guys keep it PG in there? There’s cameras and it’s kind of awkward.” Barry’s voice came over the crackly intercom and you both let out an irritated groan. “So,” you said playfully, “How do you presume we get out of here?” Cisco shrugged. “I could use my natural athleticism to break us out, or,” he pulled you onto his lap, “we could do something else athletic.” “RAMON.” Harry’s voice was now at the intercom, but you just leaned into Cisco, laughing against his lips.

#cisco ramon #cisco ramon oneshot #the flash #the flash oneshot

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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2020 Revisions: Good, Bad and Ugly Rhinos 2021 Scenarios

The Rochester Rhinos Outsider blog was a series of articles written in the winter of 2018-2019 as the second year of the club’s hiatus was at its quietest and darkest. This article is part of the 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions series, a series of long-read features jumping off from the starting point of those original articles with new information since revealed.

The Rochester Rhinos pushed it back to 2021. That’s one more year, a third year of waiting. So let’s take another trip back to when we had one fewer year to wait through. One of the funnier articles from the Rhinos Outsider posts was the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. It was about speculating all the different ways the return might go. That is, all the good ways, bad ways and just plain ugly ways. Moreover in the leadup to the meat of the article I wrote about the “hat trick of ruined owners”. That little piece hasn’t meaningfully changed in the year since I wrote it so here it is! That particular passage in a lightly edited form:

First things first, let’s be totally up front: this maybe it for the Rhinos. The Dworkins could also spend themselves into insolvency if Rochesterians don’t come to the new venue. They too could basically be forced to give up the team by debtor banks like the first owners or forced to give it up by the league like the second owner and this club could complete the hat trick of ruined owners. Who wouldn’t want to be the fourth owner of that organization? Hate to be that guy, but that is why I’m talking like we got one last chance here. We do kinda have one last chance.

I think that little nugget is a riot. Most outsiders think this club is basically already dead. Hell, that conclusion makes a lot of sense. So much in fact I’ve been writing letters to perspective new owners. But on another level deeper, this club has ruined every individual or group of individuals that has owned it. I’m not saying that’s a curse but there is some dark humor there if that’s your cup of tea. But enough dark soccer comedy, time for a pep talk.

This article in the original Rhinos Outsider series was a big dose of sobriety. A club doesn’t just survive by way of wealthy owners. A soccer club anywhere survives by the efforts of fans and a community, casual or not, that support it. There is a legitimate argument to be made that Rochester doesn’t support her own. We could go down a whole rabbit hole about population and generational differences that contribute to how sports teams are thinning out here. I don’t want to go into those things now but what I ended up giving in this post a year ago was something like a pep talk. The Rochester Rhinos organization represents a piece of this City’s culture that I don’t think people realize. To be very frank I think most Rochesterians don’t realize what we have or might soon have had.

The Rhinos won the Open Cup in 1999. All of us Rochesterians were a part of that. That kind of title has no easy comparison in American Sports. All things being equal, the Open Cup is bigger in U.S. Soccer than the Superbowl is in American Football. WE DID THAT! US, ROCHESTER, NEW YORK! I mean it when I say it: the Rochester Rhinos are the best soccer team in American History. I’ll die on that hill. It would be such a crying shame if Rochester doesn’t realize that until it’s too late. With that as our introduction lets imagine some scenarios for 2021. I will admit some of this is fantasy fulfillment, other parts of it… nightmares.

The Good

The Rochester Rhinos return in 2020 to St. John Fisher’s College Soccer Field. The games are catered by Wegmans which by itself is enough reason to draw 1500 fans of the casual and family varieties. That number is in addition to 1000 fans of the young and diehard categories. This scenario is the good-est of good boys so let’s go all out: not only is the club’s concessions catered by Wegmans, Danny Wegmans owns the team now! He bought out the Dworkins and now the jerseys have a big old W on the chest for Wegmans and Win! They do just that! The Rhinos beat a couple MLS teams in the Open Cup and dominate League One to win a title in their first season back on the pitch! Danny Wegman announces he’s buying a piece of open land in Pittsford and building a stadium! This scenario is so fun I let out my own rendition of the Howard Dean Scream after writing it.

Let’s go a little less good. The Rhinos are still returning to St. John Fisher’s Field because this is still a good scenario. Except in this scenario there are notable hiccups. The concessions are a little screwy and the team has some facilities clashes with the University. The Dworkins do however do a good job pulling in talent and manage to go all the way to the USL League One Final in their first year back. The attendance numbers gradually climb as the season goes on and the good word spreads. After seeing the relationship as mutually beneficial the Dworkins sign a deal with Fisher to keep the team there for three years. At that point they announce their plans to build a stadium in East Rochester. The Rhinos are resurrected!

Ok, one more good scenario. The Rhinos return to the Downtown Stadium after the City realizes how much money they’re losing on having no tenet thee. The new deal allows the Dworkins much greater control over the venue and the City helps finance some renovations that help draw 3000 fans on average the first season back. More supporters are enticed to come to games when the new indoor sports plex next door destigmatizes the neighborhood for all the scared suburbanites. The Rhinos narrowly miss the playoffs, but the new club has a distinctly Rochester identity that everyone is happy to have back.

The Bad

The least bad scenario that I wouldn’t consider good is a rushed move to the Dome Arena area. The Dworkins announce the plan late in the Fall 2020 giving themselves little time to clear land and put a field on the other end of the Dome Arena parking lot. They exclaim the location’s proximity to shopping and Wegmans and what not. Unfortunately the lift the team actually receives is hard to tell as most of the fans shoehorned into temporary stands at one end of the field are clearly diehards. The team isn’t competitive, missing the USL League One Playoffs and losing to another League One team in the Open Cup. This is not to mention Soccer Sam Fantauzzo still thinks he’s competing with the Rhinos in this scenario as he beefs up the Lancers operation.

As bad scenarios get worse the Rhinos get to go to St. John Fisher College their first season back in 2021 but the University quickly doesn’t like it. They go as far as to make large swaths of parking unusable on gamedays. Nonetheless the reborn Rhinos are competitive on the field and almost make the playoffs. The Dworkins announce an iffy plan to move to another venue they don’t name until the last weeks of the season. A run to the MLS round of the Open Cup distracts the fans from the plan falling through. After much wheeling and dealing the Dworkins secure one more year at Fisher and continue to scramble to find a new home in time.

The Rhinos return to Frontier Field in a freak two-year deal with the County and drive nostalgia real hard in the marketing. For a while they manage to drive attendance up before the new team they assemble crashes and burns. Unfortunately nostalgia isn’t enough to save the club from the collapse and the financial fortune of the club is awful by the end of 2021. The Dworkins make one last plea saying if 2022 isn’t good enough financially they simply won’t continue. 2022 sees a miraculous Open Cup run to the semifinals but once again the Dworkins make a plea for financial help as they look for a place to go after Frontier.

The Ugly

The Dworkins sell the team in November 2020. The League operates the team via Pat Ercoli who sees the team play at the Downtown Stadium out of some miracle due to the new ownership. Unfortunately the same problems persist from before the hiatus and Ercoli is forced to get creative. An alliance with the Rochester Lancers goes nowhere even after their owner, Sam Fantauzzo, announces his intent to move the Lancers to the downtown stadium to help the Rhinos. The league has a meeting with Ercoli that is followed by his resignation from the organization. The team shutters for another haitus in 2022 as the league fails to find a new owner before folding it in 2024, the year the USL System finally institutes Promotion/Relegation adding insult to injury to the end of the Rochester Rhinos.

The Dworkins build a small stadium by the Dome Arena in Henrietta and achieve some better average attendance in the first few games back. Pat Ercoli announces his retirement and receives a splendid send off ceremony. Shortly thereafter Sam Fantauzzo moves his Rochester Lancers to NISA where they garner more support from diehard soccer fans in Rochester. This is direct competition for seemingly no reason. The Rhinos season on and off the field tanks before the Dworkins sell the franchise rights in November. The league does not find a new owner and shutters the brand in 2022. I think two ugly scenarios is more than enough.

Final Thoughts

I had a lot of emotional points to make about what the most likely scenarios actually were in the original version of this article. But now I got to be honest, another year of haitus has made me somewhat indifferent. Don’t get me wrong, I love this club, it’s my aesthetic and my favorite soccer club forever and ever amen. But you can’t expect enthusiasm after nearly zero public information sharing over 14 months. Even a lunatic like me can’t get excited for something they have almost no clue about. Help us out here. The next 12 months and beyond will be very interesting.

That said the truth was very well said by one Brad Bates back in December. Bates is a Rhinos supporter way out in Lansing, Michigan. You can hear him on the League One Unfiltered Podcast (L1Unfiltered) or read him on twitter @BradBates25. The brand is in the gutter. Years of neglect and now years of haitus has reduced the Rochester Rhinos to a punch line and a soccer history fancy. A truly rousing reclamation is needed. The Dworkins don’t just need to resurrect their dormant team, they need to create something new worthy of the name and legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. They need to not only make a highly competitive team on the field but a highly compelling overall product for the supporters. Wherever they play they have to build something special, familiar but also distinctly new. Otherwise this all may very well be for naught.

I’ve been very optimistic in this haitus, but its wearing on me now. 2020, or at least these first six months of it, stands to be the busiest year of my life so far. Unless I’m getting far more regular updates then we saw the last 18 months then it will be hard for me to do anything but write an epitaph come the Fall. I don’t want to, but the burden of proof now points in an increasingly negative direction. The Brad Bates Standard is going to be a tough one to meet even if they come back. And now the darker thought arises: do I even want them coming back if I don’t believe they can stage a comeback worthy of the name? Gee, that question is a tough one. Unfortunately it’s the question I’ll be wrestling with more and more this year.

I am basically the only Rhinos blogger out there so follow me if you want more of this. This series of long-read articles, 2020 Rhinos Outsider Revisions, will probably only have one more installment. Come to think of it, this maybe it for trying to make content out of these posts from a year ago. I will probably have a similar long-read article completely new and original. I think it will be something like what we started getting into with the legacy of the Rochester Rhinos. That will come sometime in the next 6-8 weeks before the return of my regular series on the Rhinos: State of the Support. How about more on that.

In a few weeks we should be getting a real update on the situation with the club; at which point Season Two of State of the Support will premiere. State of the Support is a reoccurring series about the Rhinos that will be broadening its scope a tiny bit to Rochester Soccer in general for Season Two. In the spirit of supporting a soccer club I’d say a club like the Rhinos deserve second life if any domestic soccer team does. And even if you don’t currently call Rochester home like me I’d hope you could support their future going forward for just that reason. Hopefully the future of the Rochester Rhinos isn’t just fantasy.

Thanks for Reading.

Let’s Go Rhinos!

#rochester rhinos #soccer

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allyinthekeyofx · 7 years

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Perpetual Motion 1/1

I planned on writing this anyway but decided to kill two birds with one stone. Written for a fanfic challenge on Facebook for @wildwingsuz and her group in response to a photo prompt (A swing by a pond/lake) but also included is conversation prompt #19 for the anon who said the prompt “I’m okay”……..”You don’t look okay”……..”Well stop fucking looking then” sounds ‘totally Scully-esque’.

I agree wholeheartedly and this is the result.

Set during Revival and also recounts events pre IWTB

PERPETUAL MOTION

We had first discovered this place when we had already been living in the farmhouse for several months, happening upon it one fine Spring day when we finally began to properly explore the land that surrounded us on all four sides; the warmth of the weak sunshine tempting us to walk farther than we had during the frigid winter months where really, we had been far too preoccupied in trying to find a way to heal the wounds we had inflicted upon each other amid the confusion and uncertainty of our time on the run, than in venturing outside to map out our domain.

We knew there was a lake somewhere on the property – the real estate deeds had spoken of just such a thing – rather grandly called ‘Pioneer’s lake’- I’m guessing it was a man made relic of times gone by.

I’m not sure I would have called it a lake though because although large enough to house a small wooden dock which creaked ominously even under Scully’s slight weight, to me it was nothing more than an over-sized pond complete with a family of fat brown ducks who squawked an indignant warning amidst much ruffling of feathers at the pair of interlopers who had disturbed their quiet sanctuary. And sanctuary, as it turned out, was a pretty good description for this cool green oasis because from the minute she set eyes on it, Scully fell instantly in love.

To see her truly happy for the first time in months twisted and pulled at something deeply primitive that lay slumbering inside me and which I had thought had been quieted forever; namely my need to protect her, to give her whatever it might take to quiet the demons which plagued her so mercilessly and which had forced me to make the decision to finally stop running before I lost her forever.

We had found ourselves in a small town in Nevada in those final few weeks; sparsely populated, it had enough amenities to make life a little easier. No longer moving constantly as we had right at the very beginning we had, for the previous year or so, settled – if you could call it that – in similar non-descript places for just long enough to find some paid employment to boost our rapidly declining finances; a few weeks at a time where we found something cheap to rent and stopped to catch our breath.

Scully was usually the one who managed to find work – mostly waitressing, cleaning or bar work - menial labour that reduced her faith in herself just a little more each time. My beautiful brilliant partner with her quick mind and singular ability to rationalise the unimaginable was reduced to mopping piss from toilet floors or forcing herself to not react when the latest smarmy middle-aged yokel made eyes at her tits with barely concealed hunger as if she herself were a special on the menu.

And even though I tried to make things better for her, it became painfully obvious that somewhere along the way, the woman I had known for over a decade was steadily losing sight of herself piece by painful piece; becoming just a little quieter, just a little more insular as each nightmarish day melded seamlessly in to another.

The only position even remotely available to us where no awkward questions would be asked of us and which, more crucially paid in cash, in that shabby desert town had been a waitressing gig at the local ‘adult entertainment’ joint.

And whilst I had initially baulked at her willingness to take the job, the fact that we were literally down to our last few dollars pretty much removed any obstacle I might have laid down in her path and actually, as it happened, Scully seemed to enjoy that particular job more than she usually did, finding herself strangely comforted by the camaraderie shared by the girls who worked there and who immediately accepted her as one of their own.

She never found herself in trouble there either despite my fears to the contrary because the heavyset bouncers who patrolled the patrons did their jobs well, making it abundantly clear as to what was acceptable behaviour and what wasn’t.

Scully was floor staff and therefore strictly off limits and as the weeks passed by, I began to breathe more easily.

Until one night when she arrived back at the shabby one bedroom apartment we called home, hours earlier than she should have been, the paleness of her skin contrasting sharply with the blue black hair that hung past her shoulders and which, out of all the colours she had adopted since we became fugitives, I knew she hated the most.

She was shaking when she slammed the door shut behind her, leaning heavily on it as though she were being persued by the devil himself, blue eyes huge and darting wildly around the small room, skimming over me as though I weren’t even there. Her breath came in huge ragged gasps, each one hard fought and obviously painful for her as she just stood there, one small step from hyper ventilating in response to her panic and rendering me almost paralyzed with fear because of course, selfish bastard that I was, my first assumption was that they had found us, had found me.

I had called her name; a question that hung suspended in the air between us, the atmosphere suddenly so highly charged that I could literally feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

She had shaken her head from side to side, misinterpreting me and assuming I was concerned for her rather than for myself, repeating over and over again in a high pitched mantra that was so unlike her that I knew then that this was something different and that whatever this was, it was about her not about me.

“I’m okay….I’m okay….I’m okay….”

Over and over again she said those words while all the time twisting her fingers together as though she was unable to still, that this one connection to herself was the only thing keeping her from falling apart in front of me.

And I think I was more frightened for her then than I have ever been before or since, because it was clear that whatever had driven her to come home in such a state of extreme agitation had sent her headlong to the edge of the praecipe and only the barest thread was keeping her from toppling right the hell over it.

I had gone to her of course, covering her hands with my own in an attempt to still her movement and to some extent it had worked, her eyes finally meeting mine with a measure of surprise that I was even there with her at all.

“I’m okay.” She had repeated and if I had been thinking on any rational level I would have given her some space, backed right off until she had calmed down and the blankness of her expression had lifted again. But I was so fucking afraid for her at that point that the words were out of my mouth before I could prevent them.

“You don’t look okay.”

And that was enough to send her fleeing from me, snatching her hands from mine before pushing me roughly away, her expression so wretched, so hopeless that I don’t know how I managed to even stay standing, the pain radiating from her almost tangible and only equalling the venom which laced her response to my slightly clumsy assertion.

“Well then stop fucking looking.”

I winced at the sound of the bathroom door slamming shut behind her as she sought to distance herself from me, and winced all the more when the sound of her desperate weeping filtered through the flimsy barrier she had put between us, ignoring my every effort to get through to her until finally, I had simply kicked the door inwards, the force of my concern literally ripping it from its hinges and sending me headlong into the small room. The sight of Scully, naked and shivering, curled into a protective ball on the cold linoleum floor had literally stopped me in my tracks for a moment, until finally, she lifted her tear streaked face and held out her arms to me as though she were a small child in need of comfort.

It had taken hours to get the full story out of her but finally, finally, I had understood the events that had led to her arriving home in a state of such extreme distress.

A baby, brought to work by one of the girls when her sitter let her down. A request that Scully watch him for a while, stay with him, hold him. A baby boy, around nine months old and his name…his name was William.

I had almost thrown up as she explained, in between anguished cries and hitching breaths, how she had simply walked out of the club with him cradled in her arms, the feel of his solid warmth evoking such painful memories within her that she didn’t stop even once to think about what she was doing, because right then, at that moment he was William….her William and she just wanted to take him home where he belonged.

The rest of her account disappeared beneath the force of her distress, lost in a haze of tears and snot and desperate clawing of her hooked fingers against my skin and I had rocked her in my arms, whispering nonsense to her as my own tears scalded me like acid and the shame I felt for every wrong I had ever wrought upon her bubbled up inside me and blocked everything else out.

It was right at that moment I knew that this had to stop.

So the next morning while Scully still slept exhausted and heartsick, I placed the call to Skinner that I probably should have placed months before, giving him permission to access bank accounts that had been dormant for almost two years and to set the ball in motion that would eventually lead us to a simple farmhouse in rural Virginia where we could at least start to try to heal ourselves.

We never spoke of that night in Nevada again although for a while I hoped Scully might talk more about what had prompted her to walk out of that club holding someone else’s baby; but she never had and frankly I was just too afraid of what I might reveal if I scratched at her wounds too fiercely.

So with a disavowal so typical of us both we simply pretended it had never happened at all.

But that first Spring, the Spring we discovered the pond, was the start of a few years of simple pleasure that began to make us both believe that maybe, just maybe, we could actually play the game and win this time.

I had built her a swing in response to her assertion that the old oak tree that stood tall and proud at the edge of the lake was just crying out for one, that she had always wanted a swing when she was a child but had never lived anywhere where there was a tree big enough to support one. Plastic playground swings for Scully just didn’t cut it. She wanted a swing made of rope and wood, one which would weather the seasons and with care, would last for a lifetime; something constant and reassuringly solid in a life that, thus far for her had been anything but.

And of course I had obliged her, risking life and limb to knot the thick rope around the ancient bough, not quite ever managing to get both sides completely level no matter how many times I tried. But that was okay because it seemed slightly fitting somehow that it wasn’t quite perfect because God knows, we weren’t perfect either.

She had loved it of course just as I knew she would and that first summer she had spent hours just swaying back and forth as the sun warmed her skin and the soft fragrant breeze lifted her hair off her shoulders, hair that was now back to its natural colour and which seemed to lighten with each day that passed. And somehow, as she spent so much time in a state of perpetual motion, her feet barely grazing the grass beneath, propelling herself gently back and forth she began to heal,allowing both of us to enjoy a few blissful years before the darkness came once again – not for her this time but for me; consuming me from within and reducing everything we shared to a paranoid mishmash of hurt and pain and recrimination.

The swing became her safe place I think; a place to escape from me for even a short time as she tried desperately to reach me even as I blocked her out and refused her access.

Inevitably, eventually, she could stand it no longer and she left.

Dark days in my life where I shut myself away and allowed the paranoia to take full reign of me once more. I don’t know how I survived without her; I don’t know how I even allowed myself to and truthfully, I had almost forgotten about this beautiful little glade with its shimmering body of water where the wind whispered secrets of days past and which had become such a part of her that I think I had simply hidden it in the dark recesses of my mind, buried deep inside with the rest of the hurt I refused to face. It had taken me months to realise that there was no one left to help me and that my only remaining option was to finally help myself; to fight for her in a way I never had before.

Thus began a painful journey for me where I finally accepted outside help, laying myself bare to various health professionals as I fought with myself to admit I needed help; that the only way to get well was to acknowledge just how sick I had become.

I discovered something I thought maybe I had lost forever - namely a sense of pride in myself and even more than that, I knew deep down that she was proud of me too.

My Scully. Always my Scully even when we were unable be together.

And when she quietly told me that she wanted to come home, tears streaking her beautiful face that was still as exquisite to me as it had always been, the first thing I actually thought of was the swing; waiting until she had left to go back to the city and her soulless apartment before I took a trip into town, buying new rope to replace that which had aged and frayed over the years I had neglected to take care of it, laughing that same afternoon at the small scruffy terrier who sat below me, evaluating the work I was doing before taking off after a butterfly that danced across the lake and out of his reach.

It took a lot longer to fix the swing than I had expected, but time has mellowed me somewhat and I was content to take my time, to get it right.

And when I finally led Scully along the flattened trail that led to that beautiful, timeless woodland glade, twining my fingers with hers and rejoicing at the feel of her beside me, giving her a first look at the swing that, despite my best efforts was just as crooked and inexact as it has ever been, I felt more content than I think I ever have before.

Because I knew she wouldn’t care.

That to her at least, it would be perfect.

End

#perpetual motion #facebook challenge #tumblr prompt #anon prompt #my fic

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yessoupy · 7 years

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I was tagged by @hendroda - on this glorious day of gryles, let us commemorate it with answers to questions.

RULES : ANSWER all questions, ADD one question of your own and then TAG as many people as there are questions

live session or studio session? i like to watch studio sessions.

coke or pepsi? coke!

disney or dreamworks? disney all day every day.

coffee or tea? tea is much easier to get right.

books or movies? moviessss

windows or mac? windows. i have a google pixel and 90% of the time i say “ok google” it’s to ask about how to do something on an iphone (bc everyone comes to me for help w/ their phone??)

dc or marvel? neither. i fall asleep during marvel. well i guess DC i liked the old batman movies.

xbox or playstation? sega genesis.

night owl or early riser? early riser. i got in my car to go to work this morning at 4:58. i have to be there at 7. it’s a 13 minute drive. oops.

cards or chess? cards. fuck chess.

chocolate or vanilla? chocolate

vans or converse? converse

star wars or star trek? star wars forever and ever amen. bought a new SW book this weekend, trying my hand at the new canon. (thrawn, if anyone cares)

one episode per week or marathoning? marathon!

gandalf or obi-wan? obi-wan.

heroes or villains? heroes.

john williams or hans zimmer? john williams. bc star wars. was listening to dvorak the other day and said “ohhhhhhhh, THAT’S where he got this part!!” like clearly he’s ripping off the romantic composers but i love the romantic composers so have at it. (that’s a good question ....)

Disneyland/disney world or six flags? disneyworld.

forest or sea? sea. gimme that salt water.

flying or reading minds? flying. i don’t want to know what’s in my students’ heads.

twin peaks or northern exposure? i’ve watched neither.

harry potter or lord of the rings? LOTR. just donated all my sister’s HP books to the school library (with her permission). I’ve read 1 chapter of 1 of them. didn’t like it.

cake or pie? pie all day. breakfast pie is the best pie.

you are banished to a desert island, which benedict cumberbatch character would you choose to take with you? i ... don’t know any of his characters. the one with the most survival skills.

train or cruise ship? cruise ship. more space.

brian cox or neil degrasse-tyson? brian cox. no idea who he is, but NG-T is so fucking smug and i hate that bullshit he pulled about BB-8. like, stfu, asshole, it’s not even science fiction, it’s SPACE OPERA. plus he rolls on sand just fine.

wizard of oz or alice in wonderland? the wizard of oz, but i don’t really like either.

fanfiction or fanart? fanfiction since 1999, yo!

the hunger games - books or movies? i watched the first movie and it upset me way more than i thought it would.

be able to see the future or travel into the past? travel into the past i wanna meet alexander and achilles.

han solo or luke skywalker? han solo. corellia is my jam.

lilacs or sunflowers? lilacs

spring or autumn? autumn

campfire or fireplace? campfire (bc that means there’s people around and there are lots of guitars and ukuleles!!)

french fries or onion rings? fries

truth or dare? truth, and i’ll lie.

winter or summer? summer bc baseball

vampires or werewolves? vampires

red or blue? blue

eyes or lips? eyes

burgers or sandwiches? sandwiches, less likely to fall apart.

friends-to-lovers or enemies-to-lovers trope? friends-to-lovers, it’s a shorter distance to the end goal!

pizza or pasta? pizza

ancient rome or ancient greece? i couldn’t read a fucking thing in ancient greece (i know latin), but THAT’S where i wanna visit time traveling. if i had to be alive during that time though i’d wanna live in sparta. given this a lot of thought.

foxes or wolves? foxes are less likely to eat me.

mermaids or dragons? mermaids

sci-fi or fantasy? sci-fi

watch a film in theaters or at home? theater

fireproof or no more sad songs? fireproof! idk the other one (little mix, right?)

bands or individual singers? in concert? bands.

sweet or salty? salty these days

monotype corsiva or comic sans? monotype corsiva, who the fuck picks comic sans /fonting talk

turtles or frogs? turtles!!! love a honu.

blur or oasis? i don’t really care. oasis.

baseball or football? already can’t remember how many baseball games i’ve been to and the season started like 3 weeks ago. i’ll be going to 4 games within a week of today. i fucking hate football.

Showers or baths? showers

Beach or pool? beach every time. i swam in high school and college, so a pool is just work. plus i love salt water.

my question, lol - Beethoven or Rachmaninov?

literally ANNNNNYONE who wants to do this, tag me back. also if you just wanna reply with your answer to the last question (if it’s something you care about lol) pls do.

#meme #about me

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dailychapel · 6 years

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You are the glorious morning, You are refreshment and peace. You are the sounds as the dawn breaks, You are the rose that smells sweet. You are the Lord, my creator, You are the wonder of life. You are the great words of wisdom, I read them and fill up inside. You are the wonderful sunrise, You are restorer of hope. You are the air that we breathe now, You are the warm winter coat. You are the Lord, my creator, You are a love without end. You are all grace and forgiveness, I stand loved and free as your friend.

[Psa 38:1-22 NLT] 1 A psalm of David, asking God to remember him. O LORD, don't rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage! 2 Your arrows have struck deep, and your blows are crushing me. 3 Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. 4 My guilt overwhelms me--it is a burden too heavy to bear. 5 My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. 6 I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief. 7 A raging fever burns within me, and my health is broken. 8 I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. 9 You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. 10 My heart beats wildly, my strength fails, and I am going blind. 11 My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance. 12 Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps to kill me. Those who wish me harm make plans to ruin me. All day long they plan their treachery. 13 But I am deaf to all their threats. I am silent before them as one who cannot speak. 14 I choose to hear nothing, and I make no reply. 15 For I am waiting for you, O LORD. You must answer for me, O Lord my God. 16 I prayed, "Don't let my enemies gloat over me or rejoice at my downfall." 17 I am on the verge of collapse, facing constant pain. 18 But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done. 19 I have many aggressive enemies; they hate me without reason. 20 They repay me evil for good and oppose me for pursuing good. 21 Do not abandon me, O LORD. Do not stand at a distance, my God. 22 Come quickly to help me, O Lord my savior.

[1Jo 4:1-21 NLT] 1 Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world. 2 This is how we know if they have the Spirit of God: If a person claiming to be a prophet acknowledges that Jesus Christ came in a real body, that person has the Spirit of God. 3 But if someone claims to be a prophet and does not acknowledge the truth about Jesus, that person is not from God. Such a person has the spirit of the Antichrist, which you heard is coming into the world and indeed is already here. 4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. 5 Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world's viewpoint, and the world listens to them. 6 But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception. 7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love--not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 13 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. 14 Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. 18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other because he loved us first. 20 If someone says, "I love God," but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? 21 And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

Prayer for Others

Lord’s Prayer

Our Father in heaven. Hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For your’s is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen

Loving God, we thank you for hearing our prayers, feeding us with your word, and encouraging us in our meeting together. Take us and use us to love and serve you, and all people, in the power of your Spirit and in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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thewaterheaterguys · 6 years

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Hot Water Heater Installation

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Sewer Line Cleaning

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Faucet Installation

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from DIY Plumber Info http://diyplumberinfo.blogspot.com/2018/04/best-24-hr-emergency-plumber-westmont.html from Blogger http://the-water-heater-guys.blogspot.com/2018/04/best-24-hr-emergency-plumber-westmont.html

#DIY Plumber Info

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boythirteen · 7 years

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I love you. Little lamb little bee. I love you, Melissa.

Tomorrow, or today, is Christmas. I’m one of 3 people at church who will be saying what Christmas means to me. We’re doing this instead of having a sermon. This is what I’ll say:

What does Christmas mean to me?

I like hot weather and summer. Winter is what I endure to get back to summer. Christmas, though, is a shiny part. It appeals to what is childlike in me. I like the whole thing, the religious side and commercial side, too. Santa and the Christmas star, both. The magic of both.

But this Christmas has a shadow over it. Our government is grotesque. Our president is a dictatorial golden calf who demands the most debasing, fawning adulation from those who are, piece by piece, dismantling structures of safety and support for the most vulnerable among us—unfinished structures that people of conscience have been shoring up and making true for decades, but now are watching crumble. The most public face of Christianity is a false and hideously bigoted one that spouts hate for the poor and marginalized. Every single thing the birth of Jesus heralds as hope for the world—the love and generosity of spirit and care for others and inclusion of all, the last being first and “least of these” being the divine presence of God— all of it is what those in power, many or even most of whom profess a Christian faith, are intent on maligning to give credence to their selfish and cruel enriching of themselves by squeezing dry the poor. I find myself wondering if there really is such a thing as evil, a malignant force of hate in direct opposition to the love of God. I’ve been wishing for hell to be real and for select people to burn in it forever.

My belief system, up to now, hasn’t included these thoughts as having actual substance. They’re rantings to indulge at home in front of the tv, not true beliefs that direct my way of being in the world. God is Love and everything belongs to God, so evil, as an opposing force, isn’t what I’ve ever imagined as possible. Everyone falls short of the glory of God, and everyone is still God’s beloved. I think of there being a kind of Gods-eye view of earth from a far off vantage point in the galaxy, and all of our human shortcomings—the degrees between what is bad and what is really, really bad—are too minimal to even register. We’re just scurrying around in our bumbling ways that inspire God’s compassion and love— an overflowing, overwhelmingly tender and caring kind of love like what Jim makes us feel.

But what if there really is evil? I keep wanting an arbiter, an ultimate authority who can make irrefutable pronouncements about what is true and false, and which actions are good ones and which are bad, and which people are right and which are just wrong. I know that some actions, some people, are horribly wrong. I want God to come down and slap them! But then I worry that even if God did come down and slap them, they would just call God names and try to discredit God and make memes about it and have hearings to prove how corrupt God is. And so I feel hopeless. But in thinking these despairing thoughts, I suddenly realize that this exact storyline is something that has already happened. Jesus, the Light of the World and God Incarnate, did dwell among us and did slap down cruelty. And Jesus was received in just this disparaging way by those in power, and even to the bitter extreme of his suffering and death at their hands. The tremendous, starlit hope of his birth led to such horror and dismissal of his ultimate authority, the very authority of GOD. And still Jesus loved and forgave those who tortured him. Still there was nothing that could separate them from the abiding love of God, the truth ushered into the world at Jesus’s birth.

So Christmas means celebrating this truth no matter what shadows may ever try to hide it, and no matter how long it takes for all of us to believe it and act like it. God is Love and we are God’s beloved. We can have righteous anger like Jesus did and use the energy of it to fight for justice. We can just keep going forward, keep doing all things through Christ who strengthens us. Life is magical and adventurous no matter how gross the government is. I mean we just found out that ufos are real! So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone, and I hope we all soak up so much Holiday spirit that we’re glowing with it and ready to outshine whatever darkness may come. Amen.

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realjamespat · 7 years

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Courtney, Cuppy, Archie & Carrie

Here is Part 1:

https://jimjax4.wordpress.com/2017/08/21/part-1-of-my-interview-with-yukon-mens-courtney-agnes-girl-power-the-tanana-alaska-way/

We all have a story. It doesn’t matter if we think we are exciting or not; all of us have a story. Courtney Agnes is no different. People probably see Courtney as a tomboy who is just like one of the guys, but she is much more than that.

Courtney is a self proclaimed “girly girl”. “I just don’t have any fashion sense” she admits. Courtney is a good athlete as is displayed by her talents in sports. She is also a highly skilled artist in bead work and crafting, creating amazing clothing and jewelry. This skill was encouraged by her grandmother Carrie who always seemed to supply her with amazing material to work with. How about Courtney’s Native Craft’s for an online store name? Her love for her culture and the Athabascan way of life is embedded in her heart through generations of tradition and respect for the land and what it provides. She works at keeping that way of life alive in the future generations to come.

Jim Jax: Describe your relationship with your dad Pat and how has it changed since you were a kid?

Courtney Agnes:

I was always my dad’s baby. I even told mom and dad that they couldn’t have anymore kids because I had to be the baby forever. From the first moment I had him wrapped around my finger. He was the one to get up with me in the middle of the night when I cried and he would spoil me rotten. I am now getting paybacks with my two girls and my husband, Archie. I find that Cuppy and Carrie pull the same tricks that I used to do when I was their age with their dad and I feel like my mom did back then. Nowadays, I get really upset when my dad leaves town without telling me. He also really relies on me to help him around the dog yard, or to even ground him in his busy life. We really enjoy doing things together, like planting his huge garden that’s almost as big as the bottom section of my house.

Courtney, Braedon & Pat

Jim Jax: What type of amenities do you have at your house. I.E. Television, cable, wifi/internet, running water, electricity, etc…..

Courtney Agnes:

I lived my entire life without running water until I moved out of Tanana. About half of the homes in Tanana finally got hooked up to the water system in 2006-07. My home has cable, wifi, and electricity; all of the comfortable amenities. The only thing I miss about city life are the readily available fresh groceries. We have to plan for shopping excursions and freeze, dry, or blanch veggies and fruits to make them last.

Courtney Practicing her Guilty Look

Jim Jax: I always think about the normal every day things. As a teen and a young woman, how hard was it to date with so few men around, and what activities as a young person did you have to do to meet people?

Courtney Agnes:

When I was a teenager, I was kind of awkward and geeky. I always had straight A’s and had my nose in a book (I have bad eyesight from it). I wasn’t really interested in boys; nothing serious anyways; and I wasn’t really that popular. That really didn’t bother me though. Living in a remote village, it’s kind of common to play sports or travel, or to date someone if you already hadn’t found someone to hang out with in your own village. Most people are related to each other in our small rural populations, so it’s easier to date outside of your hometown. I always played basketball just to get out of work and chores, so I met new and interesting people that way.

Courtney is all smiles at a dog mushing race

Jim Jax: What is your favorite food to eat that you can only get in Alaska?

Courtney Agnes:

My family and I just got back from a vacation in Hawaii, and I have to admit the girls asked for moose meat as soon as we got home. Luckily my best friend had moose roast in her fridge in Anchorage while we hung out there for allergy appointments to appease the girl’s cravings. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t ever live without moose soup either. The only other food that I couldn’t live without is Yukon King Salmon. I’m sure it’s because I grew up eating it, but no other salmon compares. All of the people that I grew up with here in Tanana are pretty picky about the salmon that we eat, and pretty much don’t really like any other kind.

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(Above: Some of Courtney’s Jewelry)

Jim Jax: What was your scariest moment while filming Yukon men.

Courtney Agnes:

The scene when I shot the black bear was the absolute scariest moment while filming. It was slightly raining when I was stalking the bear, and I kept hearing him but I couldn’t identify where the sound was coming from. We were walking through a small stream, so I had to also focus on being quiet when I moved. It is pretty hard to do with rain gear and rubber boots on. Ryan (camera man) had seen him first and he was headed straight for him, although the bear had never seen us. The instant that I saw the bear, I pulled my gun up to shoot, but he walked behind a huge clump of willows so I had to wait for the shot. I got him with one shot to the neck and he was only 20 feet from Ryan. So in short, the bear almost ate Ryan. Although he was packing, it still could have gone way wrong if I hadn’t waited for a good shot.

(Above: Alaskan wild blueberries and kippered fish)

Jim Jax: Your husband doesn’t get to be on camera much; explain what kind of person he is.

Courtney Agnes:

Archie is a really quiet guy and he’s often gone for his job. He works on an oil rig up north in Alaska. He usually works 2 weeks on and then has 2 weeks off, but he has to add 2 travel days to the days he’s gone so we basically get him 12 days per 28 days. He sacrifices so much to provide for us to live here in Tanana. It’s a really tough work environment that he has to leave us for and we really appreciate him. He’s an avid outdoorsman like I am, but way shyer than me. He also lives for speed. He used to race boats in the Yukon 800 race, and now races snow machines in the Iron Dog across Alaska. Both are physically brutal races, but he races them for the physical and mental aspects of it. He’s an amazing dad to our girls, he’s very patient and kind, but he’s also a pushover when it comes to them.

Courtney’s Scarecrow look

Jim Jax: What is the thing you like most about filming Yukon Men and what is the worst thing about filming it.

Courtney Agnes:

The thing that I love most about filming Yukon Men is that I am paid for doing things that I normally do anyway on a daily basis. I mean, we always have to get food, wood, fuel, and get ready for winter, so it’s kind of easy to just do both at the same time. It’s kind of like killing two birds with one stone. The hardest thing about filming is being away from the girls. I’m a pretty hands on mama. They really have a hard time going to sitters and not being in their own familiar environment, although we do have an amazing support system here in Tanana.

Cuppy, Courtney & Carrie

Jim Jax: With the new road comes a whole new group of people coming to the area. Do you ever worry that things will never be the same and it may get harder to survive?

Courtney Agnes:

I really worry about what kind of people the new road will bring in. There was a straggler in Manley Hot Springs 20 years or so ago, (which is now 50 miles away from us on the road) who shot and killed 9 people and threw them in the Tanana River.

(Courtney is talking about the famous 1984 mass murders by drifter Michael Allen Silka in Manley Hot Springs. He was a military marksman and he shot and killed 9 people. One was a trooper who was flying overhead in a helicopter. After murdering a neighbor he befriended people in Tanana saying he was a mountain man. He often camped near the one of the docks. People were impressed with his skills and he said he wanted to make roots in Tanana. His victims included a trooper, a pregnant woman and a 2 year old child).

My husband’s family also has land not even one mile away from the road, and we worry about encroachment from trespassers. What people don’t really understand is how resilient Tanana people are, and we will fight for our way of life.

Jim Jax: What hobby or personality trait do you have that would surprise viewers of the show.

Courtney Agnes:

I really hate being idle, so I’m always doing one thing or another. I really love to play basketball, I grew up playing with 6’ or taller guys who had the mentality that you had to be tough to even try to play with them. I remember getting elbowed or punched in the face and getting told not to cry when I was like in the 10th grade. Being pretty short (5’5”) enabled them to practically jam the ball down my throat so I had to figure out ways to shoot and score around them. When playing in tournaments in Fairbanks in later years, teammates would tell me, “I don’t know how you get in there and shoot like that”. Sometimes a ref asked me why I hadn’t ever played college ball (I was too shy). The only other thing I can think of is that I really am quite girly. I love make up but I have zero fashion sense.

Jim Jax: What message do you hope to communicate about your way of life to those that enjoy the show.

Courtney Agnes:

When I was in high school, my late Grandmother Carrie used to always tell me to learn to live off the land. At the time I really did not understand what she was trying to tell me, so I basically disregarded her advice. It wasn’t until I moved back home and started to hunt, fish, and trap on my own that I learned what she meant. She was trying to explain a simpler but rewarding lifestyle where she learned intrinsic life values from living off of the land. This would allow me to be able to care for my family while living off the land. It is an inherent value in keeping our traditions and culture alive that I will always appreciate.

Jim’s Jamz:

I’d like to humbly thank all of those in the Discovery Yukon Men family for their kindness and trust they have shown me in telling their stories. Thank you to the fans of the show for their support. I so enjoy their passion and dedication to the show. Thousands of people have read these articles and I hope you have enjoyed reading them as much as I liked writing them.

Even with all of the amazing positive feedback I’ve also received negative responses too. I’ve been contacted by various publications and websites speaking out against me for writing about Yukon Men. I’m small potatoes I’m sure but there have even been petitions started to stop the show.

First off I’m not naïve. Most reality shows are extremely faked and staged. People always say they know that yet they act like it’s real. Out of all of the shows though, Yukon Men is right up there with being a real as it gets. Are some of the scenes enhanced? Of course they are. Ask hunters how exciting it is walking in the freezing cold for hours looking to hunt something. They you must ask yourself how real was it for George Roberts to lose his life in a snow mobile accident? Ask if it was real when a young pilot Seth Fairbanks died after his plane went down? A while earlier he helped find a stranded Joey Zuray who was slowly being surrounded by water and ice. While the most popular network shows lie to know end; (yes I’ve talked to some of the actors and behind the scenes people and you have no idea), Yukon Men tries to keep an integrity that is rarely seen anymore on television.

The struggles are real. And while many crews on other shows stay for short times and move on, the film crews for Yukon Men have spent significant time in the area and have tried hard to win the respect of the communities.

Like I said, I’ve seen petitions to try and cancel the show in the past due to the hunting and trapping scenes. In reality these are not trophy hunters cutting off heads or antlers of animals and leaving the meat. These aren’t people laughing and partying after killing an animal for show so they can take selfies so strangers will increase their likes on Instagram or Twitter. These are people who for generations have respected their surroundings and gratefully used the land to survive in one of the most difficult places in the world to live.

As long as I write about Yukon Men I will continue to send the message that the Athabascan lifestyle tries to teach. Respect and love for your family, with an appreciation and love for what the land provides and gives you through a subsistence lifestyle. And lastly the constant reminder to never forget the great skills and pride that has been taught to you through previous generations. Like I said, we all have a tale to tell so let’s always respect and appreciate where we come from. And may we always respect each other’s story.

“Part 2 of My Interview With Yukon Men’s Courtney Agnes; Girl Power the Tanana, Alaska Way” Here is Part 1: We all have a story. It doesn’t matter if we think we are exciting or not; all of us have a story.

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heliosfinance · 7 years

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“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

This probably comes off strange right after our post on hiring escorts Friday, but what can I say – we’re an equal opportunity blog here :) And truth be told, this stuff is much more aligned with my own views and lifestyle, despite it not being as sexy (quite literally!).

I got this email from another reader of our site – we’ll call her “Gloria” – and loved how many nuggets were jam packed in this puppy… Thought I’d share it and then break it down afterwards.

Here’s Gloria:

I was inspired to go on your site today after hearing my pastor preach yesterday about the bible stating in many places that God does not want us to be in debt. That debt is foolish.

This pastor talked about how he was smart and invested his money into retirement funds early on in his 20’s even though he made little money and it is now worth a lot now that he is in his 50’s. He said the bible mentions specifically, not hints at, that we are dumber than ants about money and should plan ahead. He said he met with many couples and counseled them on managing money more responsibly usually at a point of financial crisis. Also, said there are people nearing retirement with little to nothing saved.

But he did not mention any positive, inspiring, or encouraging financial nuggets. He said the lowest income parishioners tithe 3% and most wealthy tithe less than 1%. He wants to start a mission to raise the amount they tithe.

After listening carefully for even one positive note, but not hearing any, I immediately tried to speak to him personally. However, he brushed me off indicating that his sermon was not meant to be a financial class. I asked my husband what his impression on this sermon was, but he felt good about it because the day before I had updated him on our healthy financial status, which was much higher than he expected since we are still in debt but pay ourselves first by investing into our retirement accounts regardless of our debt.

I decided today to prove the pastor wrong and to give parishioners hope. I want them to know that financial independence or financial security is reachable at most any age, and to teach them that money does not have to be a scary topic, not something to avoid, and it is certainly never too late to start saving, buying less, being more frugal and aware of money so we do not act “dumb as ants”.

I am spreading the word about your website and its many, many resources and links to help people feel in control, positive, and better about the entire topic. Additionally, I am an adult basic education instructor helping those on welfare (transitional assistance/SNAP/cash benefits/food stamps) or who have dropped out of school due to many reasons like unplanned pregnancies, and my goal is to educate them as well.

There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.

Personal finance blogs, articles, podcasts, etc. are not just for the rich wanting to get richer or the greedy who just want more for themselves. You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it. For me personally, it’s actually lots of fun when you get to watch it grow by making only small changes that you don’t even think about.

Preach, girl!

So much good stuff here, let’s break it down…

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

That’s exactly right. It’s only the devil if you worship it! And news flash – billions of dollars float around the world feeding the hungry or clothing the poor and eradicating diseases all around us. All things that very much cost money.

(Kinda reminds me of this email we got a while back too: “I Used to Be an Anti-Money Anarchist” ;))

“God does not want us to be in debt… debt is foolish.”

YES! Anytime you’re a slave to something it’s not good. Especially when it’s our own foolish choices that brought us there. But unlike other issues in life, this one we usually have control of! Which means there’s not only hope, but also a finish line out there in the future for us – so long as we up our game and go after it. It’s one thing to be in debt, and a whole other to be in debt and do nothing about it!

“This pastor talked about how he was smart and invested his money into retirement funds early on in his 20’s even though he made little money, and it is now worth a lot now that he is in his 50’s.”

The power of compounding, baby! Those little beans turn into bean stalks years later. Remember the story of the doubling penny?? Tricks the layfolk every time!

This is also what “money working for you” means vs you always working for money. Once you invest it, it becomes your own little employee hustling away every hour of the day! Here’s an example of what that looks like from that article I just linked to above:

“Last month I spent 0 hours on my investments and made a whopping $32,687.28. In one month. For doing absolutely nothing. That equates to 3,268 hours of mowing lawns, 653 weekends of working at a restaurant, 218 weeks working at the college bookstore, 65 weeks at my first full-time job, 33 weeks after I climbed up the ladder, and 22 weeks when I first became self-employed.”

It’s so amazing it’s scary. (And remember, it works in the opposite direction as well with debt! Yet another reason it sucks to carry it around – every day it’s compounding against us :()

“We are dumber than ants about money and should plan ahead. He said he met with many couples and counseled them on managing money more responsibly usually at a point of financial crisis.”

Unfortunately that’s when most of us have that epiphany, isn’t it? When we’re smack in the middle of all the doo doo around us? On the plus side it finally gets us to DO SOMETHING about it, but obviously the sooner we can care about this stuff the better. And you certainly don’t have to be a nerd about it either like some of us are :) You just have to squirrel away the nuts when the financial times are good so you’re all prepared for when the winter hits! Nothing’s ever permanent!

“I decided today to prove the pastor wrong and to give parishioners hope. I want them to know that financial independence or financial security is reachable at most any age, and to teach them that money does not have to be a scary topic, not something to avoid, and it is certainly never too late to start saving, buying less, being more frugal and aware of money.”

YES YES YES!!! That’s one of the things I hate about going to church sometimes – being killed with guilt and fear without much recourse of hope or action. You gotta hit us with both sides so we actually *do something about it* or what’s the point? Shock us with reality, that’s fine, but then come back and tell us we can change, please.

But what a reminder of why personal finance blogs are flourishing these days. There’s a reason there’s now over 1,100 of them out there – they offer encouragement! And hope, action items, tricks, tips, stories, love, happiness, reality, plans, and numbers. All of which combine to make one tasty financial pie that our family can feast on forever and ever, amen.

Money does not have to be scary or hard to figure out. And it is most definitely not something to avoid. God does not want us to be a slave to debt. He wants us to be secure. (Or “poor,” depending on what passage you read, haha, but certainly not in debt! ;))

“There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.”

Probably my favorite line of the entire email. Most of us have *choice* in our lives. Not everyone, but most of us (and especially those with an internet connection reading this). Every day we choose where to spend our money, where to spend our time, and where to spend our energy. Those who do it well trend up in the Game of Life, and those who don’t fall further behind.

But every day is a chance to start over again and work our way towards the life we really dream about. It’s not easy, and takes gobs of time and self-control, but it is possible. There is no need to be poor forever if you don’t want to be.

“I am an adult basic education instructor helping those on welfare (transitional assistance/SNAP/cash benefits/food stamps) or who have dropped out of school due to many reasons like unplanned pregnancies, and my goal is to educate them as well.”

God bless you, Gloria – and thanks for sharing your note with us today and allowing me to post it up! We need more people like you spreading around the financial faith :)

If you ever start your own blog, please let us know so we can help pass it around for you. You’d join the 32 other Christian financial bloggers using it as a vessel to amplify the good word and would love it.

To all my other financial friends reading this – keep working your way out of ant dumbness! We can all build hills together for the greater of our communities!

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.” published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

0 notes

fesahaawit · 7 years

Text

God does not want us to be in debt.

Here’s Gloria:

I was inspired to go on your site today after hearing my pastor preach yesterday about the bible stating in many places that God does not want us to be in debt. That debt is foolish.

There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.

Preach, girl!

So much good stuff here, let’s break it down…

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

(Kinda reminds me of this email we got a while back too: “I Used to Be an Anti-Money Anarchist” ;))

“God does not want us to be in debt… debt is foolish.”

The power of compounding, baby! Those little beans turn into bean stalks years later. Remember the story of the doubling penny?? Tricks the layfolk every time!

It’s so amazing it’s scary. (And remember, it works in the opposite direction as well with debt! Yet another reason it sucks to carry it around – every day it’s compounding against us :()

“We are dumber than ants about money and should plan ahead. He said he met with many couples and counseled them on managing money more responsibly usually at a point of financial crisis.”

Unfortunately that’s when most of us have that epiphany, isn’t it? When we’re smack in he middle of all the doo doo around us? On the plus side it finally gets us to DO SOMETHING about it, but obviously the sooner we can care about this stuff the better. And you certainly don’t have to be a nerd about it either like some of us are :) You just have to squirrel away the nuts when the financial times are good so you’re all prepared for when the winter hits! Nothing’s ever permanent!

“There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.”

Probably my favorite line of the entire email. Most of us have *choice* in our lives. Not everyone, but most of us (and especially those with internet connection reading this). Every day we choose where to spend our money, where to spend our time, and where to spend our energy. Those who do it well trend up in the Game of Life, and those who don’t fall further behind.

God bless you, Gloria – and thanks for sharing your note with us today and allowing me to post it up! We need more people like you spreading around the financial faith :)

To all my other financial friends reading this – keep working your way out of ant dumbness! We can all build hills together for the greater of our communities!

God does not want us to be in debt. posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

0 notes

heliosfinance · 7 years

Text

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

Here’s Gloria:

I was inspired to go on your site today after hearing my pastor preach yesterday about the bible stating in many places that God does not want us to be in debt. That debt is foolish.

There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.

Preach, girl!

So much good stuff here, let’s break it down…

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

(Kinda reminds me of this email we got a while back too: “I Used to Be an Anti-Money Anarchist” ;))

“God does not want us to be in debt… debt is foolish.”

The power of compounding, baby! Those little beans turn into bean stalks years later. Remember the story of the doubling penny?? Tricks the layfolk every time!

It’s so amazing it’s scary. (And remember, it works in the opposite direction as well with debt! Yet another reason it sucks to carry it around – every day it’s compounding against us :()

“We are dumber than ants about money and should plan ahead. He said he met with many couples and counseled them on managing money more responsibly usually at a point of financial crisis.”

“There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.”

God bless you, Gloria – and thanks for sharing your note with us today and allowing me to post it up! We need more people like you spreading around the financial faith :)

To all my other financial friends reading this – keep working your way out of ant dumbness! We can all build hills together for the greater of our communities!

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.” published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

0 notes

heliosfinance · 7 years

Text

God does not want us to be in debt.

Here’s Gloria:

I was inspired to go on your site today after hearing my pastor preach yesterday about the bible stating in many places that God does not want us to be in debt. That debt is foolish.

There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.

Preach, girl!

So much good stuff here, let’s break it down…

“You do not have to worship money to want to have control over it.”

(Kinda reminds me of this email we got a while back too: “I Used to Be an Anti-Money Anarchist” ;))

“God does not want us to be in debt… debt is foolish.”

The power of compounding, baby! Those little beans turn into bean stalks years later. Remember the story of the doubling penny?? Tricks the layfolk every time!

It’s so amazing it’s scary. (And remember, it works in the opposite direction as well with debt! Yet another reason it sucks to carry it around – every day it’s compounding against us :()

“We are dumber than ants about money and should plan ahead. He said he met with many couples and counseled them on managing money more responsibly usually at a point of financial crisis.”

“There is no need to be poor forever or just because your family is poor going generations back, or because they just assume they are not the chosen ones.”

God bless you, Gloria – and thanks for sharing your note with us today and allowing me to post it up! We need more people like you spreading around the financial faith :)

To all my other financial friends reading this – keep working your way out of ant dumbness! We can all build hills together for the greater of our communities!

God does not want us to be in debt. published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

0 notes