#winnie the purr

[butch-charmiiing]

My babes asleep 🥰

[lethalchiralium]

Happiness Headcanons

(NSFW at the end, as a treat 😌)

- There’s nothing more addictive to Simon than the love of his wife. (Maybe your smell, but probably not.) Simon’s never been consumed by love before (other than Winnie and Mellie) so he is just desperately wanting to protect that.

- He will hold Winnie up by an ankle and pretend he’s selling a prize fish at the market. (She giggles loudly and thrashes, he says, “Oh! ‘ve caught a live one!”)

- The 141 is over pretty much every weekend when they’re on base for long stretches of time. Most of the time they fuss over you cooking, so they bring takeout.

- Winnie likes to dress you some days. Usually it’s just a fun t-shirt and colorful sweatpants or jeans, but sometimes she tugs on a dress you haven’t worn in a while. “Please?” She’ll say, and you have literally no will to say no to her.

- The 141 calls you ‘Missus’ religiously. You’re convinced Price doesn’t know your real name. (He knows your name, he just finds it funny to call you ‘Missus’.)

- Simon secretly LOVES to wash your hair on wash days. He’ll learn your routine from back to front without your knowledge and ask one day to wash your hair. You don’t recall a time since that you’ve had to wash your own hair when he’s home.

- Simon started to learn to love snow when you two started dating. You brought him home to Maine, you were then snowed into your family cabin with just Winnie. Watching her play in the snow was one of his favorite moments.

- He sits at princess tea parties without complaint. Will chat with the cat on duty, who is trying to steal Winnie’s plastic cups. (Missy has had to be held before she starts tearing up stuffies.)

- You always make Simon’s tea first before your own drink. You take time to make it perfect, all because you love seeing him smile as you hand him his “Best Dad Ever” mug.

- Mellie vocalizes to herself to sleep. When she started saying “Dada”, she’d say that to get herself to sleep. Freaked Simon out the first time he heard it on the baby monitor.

- Winnie has an obsession with ice cubes, only because she feeds them to Missy. (“Mama! Ice coobe?” “No, baby. You gave her enough.” “But-“ “No.”)

- Simon can’t figure out how to braid hair for the life of him. It’s somehow too much finger movement, you laughed at that statement.

- There’s a dress you lost in between moving from America to England to be Winnie’s nanny (then subsequently her mom), it was your favorite dress ever. And Simon’s been looking for an exact copy since you two started dating. (He has it in a box in the attic with your due date on it, a surprise for birthing his next baby.)

- Winnie loves seeing you in dresses, she always squeals and compliments you on how pretty you are. She makes you comfortable in your own skin.

- Mellie likes to be wrapped to your chest, little fingers holding onto your shirt as you pick up around the house. She usually falls asleep after fifteen minutes, she just loves to be close to you. It’s the safest place she could ever be.

- Simon likes to lay on the couch with his leg hiked up on the back, so when you come to lay on his chest, he can trap you in. Surprise trap style. (You don’t have the heart to tell him you see it coming every time.)

- Simon plans dates every week.

- You buy tickets to sports events or concerts once every few months and beg him to go. He always says yes.

- He doesn’t sing at all. He’ll hum, but that’s about it. (Which is a lie, he sings little lullabies to his daughters to get them to sleep most nights.)

- Gaz is the go-to babysitter, but if they need to go somewhere overnight, they go to Price. You’ll give Soap a chance every once in a blue moon, but he usually gets drawn on. Head to toe. And is the only uncle who gets terrorized by your five year old. (Simon calls it karma.)

- Missy obviously adores Simon, but when Simon’s busy with the girls, she’ll rub up on your legs and purr like a motorboat.

- Mellie crawls a lot, but she usually likes to pull herself to stand next to the couch - little face staring you down as you sit down. “What, baby? Wanna snuggle?” A little hand reaches up for you, you’re quick to scoop her up and lay down with her. (You always kiss her cheeks, she squeals and makes kissy noises back.)

- You kiss him before you fall asleep every night. The one night you didn’t, he thought you were mad at him. Turns out you were sick and didn’t want to get him sick, but he was incredibly butt hurt about not getting a kiss from his wife.

- Winnie’s favorite color is green. It offends Soap to high heaven since he believes she must secretly be Irish. (Simon nor Winnie’s birth mom are Irish.) You’ve taken the liberty to decide that Mellie’s color is purple.

- Simon takes over laundry and dishes most days so you can recuperate. Raising an almost six year old and almost one year old while having somewhat on and off morning sickness is difficult. (He takes over all duties when you’re essentially locked in the bathroom all day.)

- Gaz and Soap will show up unannounced and essentially push your children to the living room. They’re making blanket forts and drawing with crayons on big sheets of paper. They’ll sit and watch movies, excited that the girls love to spend time with them.

- Winnie’s lunch box and backpack are green and decorated with flowers, she loves them both.

- Simon likes to be held. He’ll shift in the night so his head is on your chest, hands on his back. Hearing you breathe calms him. Hearing your heartbeat helps him breathe easier. (It’s hard not to think about how much his family would’ve loved you.)

- Simon writes down what kind of makeup you like to wear so he can order them if you’re getting low. (No makeup? That’s great too! Man’s purchasing you skincare and nice little lotions, bath bombs, and perfumes. He likes to pamper his beautiful wife.)

- Mellie refuses all vegetables except carrots and broccoli. She’s repeatedly thrown the ones she doesn’t like at her father, so you’ve temporarily stopped making them for her. She’s as happy as a clam.

- You have been looking into getting Simon the dog he wants. Either a Rottweiler, Doberman, or King Shepherd. It’s just hard to buy a £1500 puppy without the fraud alert going off on your joint bank account.

- You ask Simon to paint your nails sometimes. He doesn’t think he could do it right so he refuses and hands you enough quid to go to a nail salon.

- Winnie loves Barbies. She maybe has five of them that she take a great care of. She always requests her father to play with her. Simon always says yes, but is only allowed to play with her favorite Barbie - the one that looks like you.

- Your engagement and wedding rings are a matching set, both expensive and high quality. Simon worked for years without anyone to spend it on, so he saved and invested. It’s not enough to retire on, but it’s enough to buy your matching rings, the matching bracelet, necklace, and earrings. (Yes, he’s still paying that credit card off. No, he doesn’t regret it. He loves watching your face light up with every piece he gives you.)

- He also buys you another bracelet, one with birthstones on them - yours, his, Winnie’s, and Mellie’s. With space for the next one, and maybe another after that. (What can the man say? He can’t wait to see your pregnant belly, it’ll be the first time he’s ever seen a partner of his actually grow his child. He’s excited to wake up every day and see you. (If fifteen year old Simon Riley could see him now, wanting to wake up every day.))

NSFW

- Munch this, munch that, Simon doesn’t go down on you unless asked. He doesn’t think he does it that well, but he’ll do as you ask.

- He unknowingly made you into a pillow princess. His body aches after sex a lot of the time (His injuries that healed wrong) and he’s so conscious to make sure you are comfortable at all times. So if that means he keeps you laying on array of pillows, so be it.

- You do love to ride him though. It’s not often as it requires a lot of energy from you, and you’re almost always exhausted. You just like to watch his eyes roll into the back of his head, the way his Adam’s apple bops as he sucks in air, licking his lips. He’s quite literally your personal art gallery, you could stare at him for days on end.

- He’s not confident in his head giving abilities, but he is very confident with his fingers. Your first orgasm is always from him rubbing your clit, doesn’t matter if it takes a little longer and more effort the more frequently he does it, he wants you soft and pliable so he can gently fuck you.

- Eye contact is huge for you. You trust Simon, you truly do, but there’s just something about how he refuses to look away from you sometimes.

- He’s quiet during sex, which means you’re mostly quiet too. You don’t want the girls to hear, even if they’re down the hall. So he’s extremely quiet, except for the soft grunts and breathy whispers. (“So good, meetin’ my hips like that. Keep rockin’ ‘em, love. Feels so good.”)

- He likes to bend your back sometimes, not often. Having you on your front, pressing his hips down so your back curls and he can go deeper? He’s a mess.

- He gets pussy drunk a lot. He drooled on your chest once, he tried to apologize but you swiped it with your finger and put it in your mouth. “Taste sweet, baby.” (That man immediately asked if he could spit in your mouth, you said another time. That or he could spit on your pussy, which he did ten seconds later.)

- A quickie in the shower is a must before work for him some days. If you’re not up for it, he’ll jerk off thinking of you.

- You like to wash him in the shower, which means you usually get to see him sudsy and clean, always from a below his waist angle though.

- You two don’t have sex every day, but it’s always every few days. More than most of your friends have sex with their partners. (Definitely more than Gaz and Soap can pick up when they’re home.)

- Sometimes he whispers how he wants you to have as many babies as he can give you, that he just wants to see you with a baby belly, how sexy you are being a wonderful mother. (He’s in adoration of you, even when he’s balls deep.)

- Simon is the type to ask Gaz to babysit, then reserve a nice hotel room so he can fuck you without restraint.

- He’ll whimper if you ask nicely and promise something in return. (For example, brushing his hair. Or holding his hair when he goes down on you and controlling where his tongue goes. Fun stuff like that.)

- You do appreciate a quick fingering since pregnancy hormones got you fucked up, you can’t keep asking to get bent over the bathroom counter or your bed because you’re gonna have a baby belly soon.

- As much as he loves having sex with you, he’s nervous to initiate. He knows you don’t mind, he knows you usually say yes, it’s just that he doesn’t want to take advantage of you. He knows what it’s like and he would simply put a bullet in his head if he EVER touched you when you didn’t want him to. He loves you too much.

[la-petite-lapin]

Double the Love | Part Five

Double the Love masterlist

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x female civilian!OC Word Count: 2.5k Series warnings (may change between chapters): 18+ Minors DNI, angst, mentions of death, mentions of violence, injury description, eventual explicit sexual content, polyamory, M/M/F, FMC is bad at feelings, miscommunication, Ghostie is home

The apartment walls are thin

Last night, I dreamt about sleeping with them.

It's not even the first time I've dreamt about sex with Johnny and Ghost. Of seeing Ghost's face unimpeded by masks or shadows. Of hearing up-close the throaty groans that Ghost draws out of Johnny nightly. And, if anything, it's only worsened by the moans that drift from their room down the hall in the night-time hours.

"Well that's not very good," Winnie clarifies, stating the obvious as usual, voice filling the room. Usually, I'd call her with my airpods in, but Ghost is in Russia, and Johnny is at a check-up for his stitches. Which means that I can rant to my best friend and seek advice on this incredibly fucked up situation. "Jesus, Tali."

I roll my eyes even though she can't see me. "Yeah, no shit."

"Hey, don't take your frustration out on me. I don't want to fuck them; that's all you." There's a beat of silence before, "Right, I have questions."

"Don't we all," I say exasperated, my head falling back onto my pillow with a muted thud.

Winnie clears her throat. "Well... are they gay? Or are they bi?"

"I don't know. Haven't asked."

"Okay. Have they been flirting with you or anything?"

"I don't know."

Winnie exhales a heavy sigh. "Explain."

It's hard to explain. The possibility is in the subtle things; the casual brushes against me as they walk past, the unnecessarily prolonged eye contact, the inside jokes. But it's never overt. Everything is just a little on the far side of friendly, but not so far as to be awkward or out of line.

"Johnny's started napping on the sofa with his head in my lap. And sometimes he rubs my shoulders while we watch TV." I think back to what happened three nights ago, just before Ghost left for Russia with John and Gaz. "And then the other night I was doing the dishes. Johnny started drying them like he normally does, but... Ghost came in too."

There's an almost comically long pause on Winnie's end of the line. "Then what happened?"

"He started talking but I didn't know he was there. I dropped the knife I was holding and when I tried to grab it, I sliced my hand open. Ghost patched me up."

I think back to it. Ghost was attentive and diligent as he sterilised the wound with some alcohol wipes from their first aid kit, pulling the raw edges of my skin closed with butterfly stitches. The entire time, his touches were gentle and caring, his free hand running soft, gentle lines along the back of my injured palm with his index finger.

It reminded me of the thing he does to soothe Johnny sometimes. The casual intimacy of it.

"Tali," Winnie says, her tone an admonishing one, "what have I told you about those bloody knives? You need to be careful with them." She sucks in a breath. "But I am surprised. If anything, I'd have thought that would Johnny patching you up."

"Exactly." A spark of something flares deep within my chest. "Ghost isn't a tactile person at all. Johnny tried to help but Ghost wouldn't let him near me. Said he wanted to do it himself. And he called me love."

Winnie makes a noise akin to a purr. "Oh dear. I mean, if it helps, I'm picking up on some vibes here too. Is it worth just asking them where you stand?"

Before I can open my mouth to answer, the front door opens and a cheerful "honey, I'm home!" rings out through the apartment. Hurriedly, I take the phone off speaker and press it against my ear. "Johnny's back."

"I figured," she giggles.

"Can I call you back later?"

We say our goodbyes, with Winnie agreeing to call me in the evening once she's had her dinner. With the call ended, I hop off of my bed and pad out into the hallway.

Johnny is standing in the living room with shopping bags hanging from both hands. There's a beaming grin on his face, his eyes shining. "I hope ye did'nae mind. I did some shopping for us."

I rush over to take the bags from him and place them down on the counter. "Thanks, Johnny. How was the appointment?"

"It went well." He follows me into the kitchen, taking up a large amount of space with his muscular build. "I'm even better for seeing ye though, bonnie."

Heat rises to my face as he takes my injured hand in his, folding his fingers around my wrist loosely and guiding my palm into his line of sight. With a feather-light touch, he runs a single fingertip along my butterfly stitches, checking on Ghost's handiwork. Then - as if satisfied that they're holding up - he drops my hand and moves past me, his front pressing against my back for a brief breath-stealing moment, as he starts to put the groceries away.

Bonnie. That's a new one.

"Want me to cook tea tonight?" Johnny asks, moving around the space with a certainty that is so unbelievably attractive to me. He's only been living here for a week now, but he's already settled in. He knows where everything is and just how I like the kitchen arranged. It's like he's always been here.

"You don't have to." I hop up to perch on the countertop, resigning myself to the fact that he's unpacking and putting the shopping away. A few days ago, I might have tried to argue with him or step in and take over. Now, I just sit back and watch, keeping him company. "Heard anything from Ghost yet?"

Johnny nods his head, slotting the milk into the fridge. "They're coming back from Russia tonight. Probably won't be home for a couple more days though; they've got someone to interrogate at the base."

I'm so distracted by the fact that he just referred to the apartment as home that I almost miss the mention of an interrogation. I wilfully choose to ignore it; to not let my mind linger on the darker side of Ghost that he will undoubtedly be unleashing.

I'm still distracted when Johnny starts to walk towards me again, a bag of pasta in his hand. If he follows my system, it should go in the cabinet above my head. As he inches closer to me, I can see the cogs turning behind his opalescent blue eyes. I know I should move out of the way; to the side or off of the counter altogether to move myself out of his path. But I don't. And he doesn't say anything either, slotting himself firmly between my spread thighs as he opens the cabinet.

I can feel the sheer heat radiating off of his huge, muscular body. Can smell the heady, woody, and floral scent of his aftershave. The strong column of his throat is just inches away from my lips, and - up close - I can see the generous dusting of dark hair that decorates his chest and abs underneath the thin white fabric of his vest.

Instinctively, my hand rises up to rest against his abdomen, making sure to fall on his uninjured side.

"Tali," the word is mumbled, verging on breathless.

My eyes dart up to find him staring down at me. Even seated on the counter, he's taller than me, and I can't help but find the size difference unfairly hot. It makes me think about Ghost; the fact that he's even bigger. A shiver runs through me at the thought of both of them standing here, crowding me in...

Johnny's gaze is heated - something intense shining under the surface of those sweet baby blues - as he hooks a single index finger under my chin. "What's gotten into you, lassie?"

My breath catches in my throat. For a second, I question if I'm doing the right thing.

The finger leaves my chin and I'm rewarded with a gentle squeeze just above my knee. "I asked ye a question."

"I... I-" I stumble over my words like an idiot. "You've been flirting with me." The way my tone pitches up at the end makes it sound more like a question than a statement.

Johnny chuckles, eyes sparkling with humour. "Ye don't sound so sure, lovey."

I wince. My muscles tense as I pull back slightly, leaning back on my hands. "You're in a relationship with Ghost."

"Very observant of ye." He closes the cabinet with his free hand, then runs his thumb along the curve of my cheekbone, the other hand shifting slightly higher on my thigh. "I am. But I've seen the way you look at us, Tali. And I've heard ye at night." His hand brushes the very top of my thigh and my breath catches once again. His eyes darken. "The walls in this apartment are pretty thin."

All moisture leaves my mouth. Oh brilliant. Johnny, and possibly Ghost, have heard me touching myself at night. I don't know whether to feel embarrassed or turned on. And then there's the way Johnny says it; so casually - so easily - like it doesn't bother him in the slightest. Like it would be unusual if I wasn't masturbating with them just down the hall.

"Does... does Ghost know?" is the only thing I can think to ask.

Johnny grins. "Aye, he does." We're both leaning closer and closer to each other again, until I can practically feel the warmth of his mint-scented breath against my skin. "He thinks it's cute."

Cute. Like a puppy or a kitten. Something adorable.

Not sexy or hot. Adorable.

Embarrassment hits me, jagged and icy, flooding through my veins. And suddenly I feel so. Fucking. Stupid.

I'm not some kind of femme fatale - not the kind of woman who can pursue one man, let alone two.

What did I expect? For Johnny to confess that they, too, have been thinking about me in less than appropriate ways and then what? There's no happy ending for me lusting after Johnny and Ghost in their committed, serious relationship - I knew that from the first night I dreamt about them. And I was mad for even thinking that maybe - just maybe - they could have been looking at me like that too.

No; they go out into parts of the world that people like me rarely ever see, putting their lives on the line to save the world. They don't want to fuck an interior designer with commitment issues, and deep-rooted family trauma.

"Okay, cool," I mumble under my breath, eyes focused on a spot on the tiled floor. I move my hand away from his side, gently pushing him away as I do so.

With a frown, he takes a step back. He looks almost hurt.

I hop down from the countertop and fold my arms across my chest, stepping back in the direction of the hallway. "I'll, um... I'll try to keep the noise down. I- I'm sorry for being a nuisance."

Johnny's face falls. "No, lassie- that..."

I'm already out of the kitchen before I can hear the rest, spinning on my heel and taking off in a brisk walk until I get to my room. With the door firmly closed, I pull my phone out of my pocket and fire off a quick text to Winnie.

TALIA KELLER: They don't feel the same.

She's online in half a heartbeat.

WINSLOW SLOANE: Wait WINSLOW SLOANE: What happened? TALIA KELLER: Was helping Johnny put the food shopping away. He told me that him and Ghost can hear me in my room at night and that Ghost thinks it's "cute". TALIA KELLER: It was so fucking mortifying. WINSLOW SLOANE: Oh Tali :( WINSLOW SLOANE: Context is key, baby. Maybe cute is a good thing. Does Ghost strike you as a man who thinks that many things are cute?

I tip my head back. No matter the positive spin that Winnie wants to try and put on this, I'm still not seeing it.

So, I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling icky and embarrassed. And wondering how Winnie would feel about sound-proofing the entire apartment.

I'm out for a walk when Ghost comes home.

When I get in, his massive combat boots are tucked in neatly next to the door. I don't immediately see him, or Johnny for that matter, and it's something that sends an unexpected spike of disappointment through me. Which makes me frown because this isn't me. I don't get like this with people - not even Winnie. I avoid commitment and co-dependency at all costs because I know that one day it will come back to bite me.

I think about how I used to wait for Alex to come home, practically counting down the minutes, waiting by the door for his return. I think about how I watch Marcella do the same, and now Johnny. And it's the antithesis of the life I've resolved myself to: complete independence.

I follow the sound of their voices into the kitchen, watching the domestic scene playing out before me. Johnny is pouring sparkling water into two glasses for them while Ghost stands back, his face hidden behind a black balaclava with a white skull painted across the front. Common sense dictates that it's something that should probably scare me. It doesn't.

He dips his head in acknowledgement, and I meet it with my own awkward nod.

"Tali," Ghost's voice is as gruff as ever. The mask shifts and, in the shadows cast by the overhead lights, I can make out a hint of a smile playing on his face underneath the masks. "How've you been?"

"I've been okay. How was Russia?"

"How's your hand?" He completely bypasses my question, as if I never even spoke.

For a moment, I just stare at them, waiting for Ghost to answer me first. When it becomes clear that isn't going to happen, I say, "It's okay. Hasn't fallen off yet, anyway."

Johnny lets out a snort of laughter. "Someone's in a sarcastic mood. Good thing Ghostie is home, aye?"

A beat of silence passes, his words hanging in the air between us.

"So, how was Russia?" I repeat, cocking my head to one side.

Ghost lets out a weary sigh, bracing his hands on the counter, shoulder's width apart. Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I can see Johnny's body tensing up. "It was interesting. We didn't find what we thought we'd find. That's all I can say. Rest is classified." It's a lot more than I was expecting anyway, and probably the most forthcoming he's been with me since the day they moved in. "But I will say that I missed you lot. Both of you."

"You don't have to include me out of pity," I snap impulsively. It's so obvious to me that Johnny's told him what happened that night in the kitchen. For reasons I can't fully articulate, it makes me angry.

Ghost's eyes darken at that, and suddenly I can see what those men in Russia must have seen; a huge, pissed-off man, clad in a skull mask and all black clothes. A man you probably shouldn't be riling up knowingly.

It sends a thrill down my spine and my palms start to sweat.

"Don't start, love," he growls, "I'm not in the mood tonight."

I stutter and stumble over a comeback, but it dies in my throat when Ghost crosses the apartment, leaving an amused-looking Johnny standing halfway between the kitchen and the living room.

"Yeah, Johnny's told me all about the shit you've been giving him while I've been gone. Avoiding him and not answering when he tries to check on you." He comes to a complete stop in front of me, towering over my much smaller frame and levelling me with a serious look. It doesn't escape my attention that he must be over six-and-a-half feet tall and verging on two-hundred pounds of pure, solid muscle. "Misbehaving for him." A single, large paw of a hand comes up to brush over my shoulder, skimming up to rest lightly on my throat. There's no grip there though; it's a hold so gentle that I could break it just by stepping back. "That ends now, princess."

I will myself to come to my senses, but I can't. Instead, I stand there, doe-eyed with parted lips, gazing up at the huge, strong soldier disciplining me. My body is trembling like a leaf in the wind and I'm wet - unignorably so.

I wonder if he knows.

His answering smirk tells me that he probably does, and there's a new lustful darkness in his tone as he adds, "Because I think we all need to sit down and have a talk, yeah?"

a/n: hey guys! sorry that this one took so long hope you enjoy this part. things are starting to heat up ;) - take care y'all, lapetitelapin

[acronym-chaos]

Soft and Cutesy ID Pack

[PT: Soft and Cutesy ID Pack].

[ID: A purple thin line divider shaded at the bottom. End ID].

Names

[PT: Names].

Amabel, Anya, Arlo, Beau, Benny, Bibi, Bijou, Bunny, Calla, Charlie, Cherry, Coco, Cotton, Daisy, Dashiell, Delilah, Dolly, Eddy, Ellie, Fawn, Felix, Finn, Florrie, Gabriel, Gigi, Honey, Isla, Jamie, Jasper, Jules, Juno, Kiki, Kit, Lark, Leo, Louie, Lulu, Mabel, Marsh, Micah, Milo, Mimi, Nilla, Noah, Ollie, Peach, Poppy, Remy, Riley, Rosie, Sammy, Snowy, Sofie, Sprig, Sugar, Sunny, Tessa, Theo, Tilly, Toby, Wesley, Will, Winnie, Wren

Pronouns

[PT: Pronouns].

Cud / Cuddle / Cuddles, Flu / Fluff / Fluffeir, Gi / Gig / Giggle, Hu / Hug / Hugs, Lo / Lov / Love, Ma / Marsh / Marshs [Marshmallow], Plush / Plushie / Plushies, Pur / Purr / Purrs, Smi / Smil / Smiles, Snug / Snuggle / Snuggles, So / Sof / Soft, Su / Sug / Sugar, Swee / Sweet / Sweets, Twi / Twink / Twinkle, Whim / Whimsy / Whimsicals

Titles

[PT: Titles].

A Dream Made of Softness, The Cherished One, The Cozy Dream, The Fluffy Wonder, The Gentle Glow, The Hug Collector, The One Wrapped in Ribbons, The Snuggly Star, The Sweet Embrace, The Warm Hug, [Pronoun] Who Brings Comfort, [Pronoun] Who Brings Sunshine to Storms, [Pronoun] Whose Love Feels Like Home, [Pronoun] With Tender Heart

[ID: A purple thin line divider shaded at the bottom, End ID].

Requested by anon!

Also tagging: @id-pack-archive

[sagesolsticewrites]

Heat Wave

It’s the hottest summer Iowa’s had in a while. Your husband wears shorts. It gets even hotter.

Shoutout to Winnie (@winniemaywebber) for making yet another incredible playlist for this fic!

Warnings: mature content (dom/sub dynamics (sub!Harry, dom!Mrs.Crosby (you’re Jean, bc of course who else would you be?)), thigh riding, thigh biting 👀, teasing, praise kink, orgasm denial, this whole thing is roleplay “punishing” Harry for sleeping with Sandra), swearing, mentions of cheating (but not really bc there was a war on come on y’all; Mrs. Crosby in this fic has canonically forgiven him for it, this is just a way for them to have some fun), definitely some historical inaccuracies in here, and ofc including a whole separate warning for Anthony Boyle’s thighs <3 (this is an 18+ fic!! minors begone!!)

Word count: 1.5k

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.

Masterlist

It was June 1946, and it was the hottest summer in Iowa since the war had started.

You and Harry had opened all the windows in the house, hoping to let in some semblance of a breeze, but the air remained stagnant and stifling. You had resorted to foregoing a dress entirely, wearing the thinnest slip you had and simply praying that no one came to call on the two of you in your little house in the middle of nowhere, while your Bing had stripped down to just a pair of shorts and his undershirt, the glass of iced tea in his hand dripping condensation onto his bare thigh.

You can’t help but track the drop as it follows a path down the inside of your husband’s thigh to seep into the fabric of the worn armchair he’s currently collapsed in with his legs spread wide; the heat outside matching the building heat in your core as you take in his underdressed state.

He catches you staring with a knowing glint in his eye, setting his drink aside on the coffee table.

“Something I can help you with, Mrs. Crosby?”

Normally you would play coy, but something about the oppressive heat and the way your husband is sprawled out in that chair makes you want to try a different tactic.

“As a matter of fact there is, my darling Bing,” you purr, slinking over to his chair.

He eagerly leans up for a kiss, but you swerve, brushing gentle kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, his jaw… everywhere but his lips, where he really wants you.

Understanding dawns on his face, and his eyes fill with heat as he realizes it’s going to be one of those days.

“Honey, please,” he whines softly, a gasp escaping him as you trace up the inside of his thigh with one neatly manicured nail.

His hips buck up towards your hand, but you pull away quickly.

“Uh-uh,” you scold softly, tilting his chin up with two fingers so his eyes meet yours, “Not yet, sweetheart.”

He nods obediently, pretty brown eyes wholly enraptured by you.

“Good boy,” you murmur, brushing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before moving to kneel between his legs.

A soft whimper escapes your husband at the molten look you shoot him as you brush featherlight kisses up the inside of each of his thighs, his hands clenching around the armrests as he resists the urge to forcibly put you where he wants you.

You hear his breath catch as your mouth reaches the spot where his thigh and hip meet, still covered by his shorts, followed shortly by a desperate whine as your lips trace the same path back down his leg.

“No, sweetheart,” you murmur, punctuating it with a nip to the flesh of his thigh, “You were very bad when you were gone, remember?”

Your nails grazing lightly down his other thigh prompts a soft, gasping “Yes, yes, I remember.”

You reward him with a soft kiss to where your teeth just were, continuing.

“So, you don’t get to cum until I’ve decided you’ve made it up to me, ‘kay honey?”

He nods.

“Need your words, sweetheart.” You prod gently.

“I understand,” he breathes, desperation coloring his voice.

“Good boy,” you praise, and you descend.

You gently dig your teeth into the flesh of his thigh once more, nibbling and sucking a path along both of his thighs, peppering in gentle kisses as you go.

Your toes curl, wetness pooling between your legs at the soft whimpers, moans, and gasps that your husband is making above you.

Satisfied with the series of pretty purple marks decorating his flesh, you scatter several soft kisses across his skin before you stand, letting your slip hit the floor.

Bing swears softly as he takes in the sight of you, one hand creeping towards the prominent bulge at the apex of his thighs.

You raise a stern eyebrow, leaning over to tap his hand once.

“No touching,” you scold softly as he jerks his hand back to grip the armrest, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“‘M sorry, honey, I just… you’re so pretty…”

“Being sweet to me won’t make me go easier on you, my love,” you murmur, though part of you melts at the compliment.

Your husband lets out a soft groan of “oh, Christ,” as you shed your panties and move to straddle his leg, slowly sinking down onto his broad quadricep.

You pull his face towards you, two fingers under his chin, to breathe against his lips.

“Remember,” you say, taking in his pretty eyes, pupils blown wide as you slowly rock back and forth on his leg, “You don’t get to cum until I say so.”

He nods frantically, a strangled “Yes” his only response as you begin to grind against him in earnest.

You can’t quite bring yourself to stifle your moans at the feeling of your core gliding along Harry’s bare thigh, and your husband’s already darkened eyes turn almost black at the sound.

“F-fuck, honey, you feel so good,” you gasp against his lips, praise tumbling from your lips as tension builds just below your belly, “Being so good for me, letting me use you like this—”

Your husband lets out a strangled moan, knuckles turning white from how hard he’s gripping the chair.

“Honey… Honey, please let me cum,” he whines after several minutes of your agonizing teasing, his breath hot on your mouth, “Haven’t I been good? I don’t—” he cuts off with a pleading groan as your nails rake down his back, your pace increasing.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I can last much longer, honey, please.” 

One of your hands comes up to grip his hair at the roots, dark curls deliciously soft under your fingers. You murmur against his lips as he lets out a soft hiss, “Make me cum first, baby, and then I might let you.”

 He moans into your mouth, flexing his thigh against you and causing you to gasp at the new angle.

“Oh, Christ, just like that, honey,” you groan, grinding desperately against him, a stuttering moan escaping you as you stammer “I’m— ‘m gonna—”

You muffle your cry in his neck as you reach your peak, grinding slowly against him as you ride out your climax.

Harry whimpers in your ear as your leg brushes his bulge.

“Sweetheart— please, can I—?”

“Yes, honey,” you say, pulling him into you for a heated, open-mouthed kiss as your hand dives into his shorts to wrap around his length, “Did so, so good for me, you can let go now, baby”

It only takes a few pumps, your hand slick with the precum leaking from his tip, before he’s spilling into your hand with a cry.

The two of you catch your breath, foreheads pressed together.

“Wow, sweetheart,” Harry says, huffing out a laugh.

You giggle, pulling him in for a kiss that you can’t help smiling into.

“It wasn’t too much, right?” You ask, pulling away to scan his face for any hint of unease.

“Not at all, honey,” your husband assures you with a sweet kiss to your forehead, reaching to pass you a rag sitting on the table so you can clean your hand off.

You stand, sliding your slip back on before settling in next to him, one arm wrapping around your shoulders and tucking you in close.

“So,” Harry says, a cheeky grin lighting up his face, “Have I made up for it yet, my love?”

You pretend to think for a moment, a smirk on your face as you reply.

“For now, honey. For now.”

A quiet moment passes, and you turn to press your lips to his shoulder in a gentle kiss.

“You know I’m not really upset about what happened when you were gone,” you say softly, fingers tangling with his, “right, honey? I know things were tough, things were… unspeakably bad, and you were doing what you had to do to stay sane so you could get through it and come back to me.”

Your husband lets out a soft sigh, squeezing your fingers with a smile at the reassurance that’s become routine after moments like these.

“I know, sweetheart. I—” His voice goes soft, gratitude seeping into every word as he traces your jaw with his fingertips, eyes tracing over your features as if he still can’t believe you’re real, “I thought about you every day when I was over there. I missed you so, so much.”

You lean into his touch. In the months he’s been home, you still haven’t been able to get enough of him being here, being able to touch you, and you in turn being able to touch him. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, angel.”

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 9

♡ Chapter Inspo: Lyrics; Awkward (SZA) “You look at me different, so I let you see my body - now we don't seem to get along, now I regret it all.” ♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡ ♡ Summary: Carm closes his day off w/ Winnie. Winnie, Syd, & Sadie shoot the shit, and disconnect Winnies mushy heart from her hook-up antics. Carm feels rejected by Winnie not knowing the whole story, and lands himself back in a support group (by choice). Sugar wins Big Sissy of the year award. ♡ W/C: 9,444 (angel #’s purr!) ♡ Posted Date: 02/23/24 ♡ A/N: Hayoooo! I hope y’all love this chap. - Next one will be long and juicy since its the 10th… hm.. Not feelin’ very wordy for some reason. Oh!! I saw the new ep. Of The Good Doctor- I MISSED MY SHAUN MURPHY!!!! I <3 MY GOOD DOCTOR!!! Anyhoot- ennjoooy this chap frayndss :D ♡ Warnings for BTC: MAJOR talks of Suicide, grief talk, sad / insecure Carm, swearing, smoking, drinking(cant remember so just in case?), mentions of chronic pain, think that’s all.

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 ���𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

Winnie’s P.O.V. -

I came back to the bedroom, teeth freshly brushed and glasses on. “Ready for some Drag education?” I joke, getting our fluffy blankets from the foot of the bed and draping them over us. “Mm drag education. Sounds fun” he opened his arm so I could lay on his chest. I laid down comfortably and he chuckled a bit. 

“What?” I asked and he curled his arm around me, gently rubbing my side. “Nothin’ just didn’t realize you wear glasses” he said and I look up at him with a small smile on my lips “mmhmm just another one of my faults, eyes that don’t work” I joke and he snorts, “you have no faults” he said brushing my bangs out of my eyes gently. 

“Okay enough flirting, mister” I poked his nose and leaned over him, grabbing the remote from my nightstand and turning on the tv. I went to Paramount and typed in the title, scrolling to drag race season 15 “okay…so this is last season, a lot of the queens are from Connecticut, but you’ll get the gist of it- and learn all the phrases that Sadie and I use” I said and hit play on the first episode. 

“Oh! Yeah that’s why my stomach hurts” I sit up and he scrunches his eyebrows “What?” He asks “forgot I was hungry. Watch! I’ll go make the rest of the pizza” I went out to the kitchen before he could reply, and preheat the oven putting the rest of our pizza from last night on a tray and popping it in, not bothering to wait for it to beep before coming back. “Okay so, I like the cute one, the little one” he points and I giggle, “Marcia Marcia Marcia?” I ask and he scrunches his eyebrows. 

“See they have weird names” he said his eyes flicking back to the tv as Rupaul came out and he raised his eyebrows ``wow” he muttered “thought he was a drag queen?” He questioned. “Not in the workroom babe, just watch” I settled back into his chest and played with his fingers, finding it adorable how he was so engrossed in it. I watched along with him for the mini photoshoot challenge and he scoffs softly “see…I hate her makeup it looks- it looks weird.” He muttered and I giggled. 

“See! I told you you’d love this show” I look up at him and he rolls his eyes “you tell no one at work we watched this, I’ll never hear the end” he said and I laugh, looking back at the screen “mm well…I guess another reason to behave yourself” I said smugly and he pinches my bum playfully. After a while I started to smell the pizza and sat up “be back, lovey” I said softly, shuffling off to the kitchen. I divided up the remaining 4 slices on my plastic strawberry shortcake plates and opened my fridge. 

“Carm, do you want cherry coke?” I called “Sure” he replied. I grabbed 2 cans, a few pieces of paper towel, and our plates, before heading back to the bedroom. “Irene somethin’ won the challenge-thing” he sits up, leaning against the headboard. “Got 2,500 bucks just for that. Good money” he took the plate and I handed him the can of soda and I smiled a bit. 

“Mmhmm, they win like 200,000 at the end” I said and his eyebrows raised “wow, hmm. High stakes then” he continues watching along with me as we eat our pizza. We were snuggled up, at the end of the third episode and he sighs softly, rubbing my side to get my attention. “Honey” he mumbled gently and I looked up at him. 

“I gotta…Y'know '' he said with a slight frown and lifted his hand to motion to the door. “Got work in the mornin’..” he said and I pout a bit, “I know…I know” I sighed and sat up, “it was nice, y’know- spending time with you..” I said and pulled on my bear paw slippers as he slipped his hoodie over his head. 

“It was really nice, Win, I’ll call you, yeah?” He comes over opens his arms for a hug. I nuzzle into his chest, closing my eyes. “Mmhmm, I’ll leave my ringer on for you” I said softly, breathing in the scent of his cologne, subconsciously trying to memorize it. “Y’gonna try and come down for lunch sometime this week? Mm? I can make y’somethin’” he said and kissed the top of my head sweetly. I smiled a bit, resting my chin on his chest as I looked up at him. 

“Now that I have two friends there, I’ll be sure to stop by more often” I said softly, and puckered my lips for a kiss. He leans down, kissing my lips tenderly, lingering for a moment before pulling away. “I look forward to seein’ you more, then.” He said and rubbed my back gently before pulling away. I walked him to the door, handing him his backpack after he slipped on his sneakers and once he put it on I pulled him by the straps, kissing him passionately, running my fingers through his curls, and gently tugging. 

He hummed into my mouth, his hands trailing beneath my shirt and squeezing my bum in his palms before stroking my thighs with the tips of his fingers gently as he leans against the wall in our heated make out. After a minute or two he pulls away, our lips only mere inches apart. “Baby, I gotta go, yeah?” He said softly and kissed my nose. I jetted out a pout with my bottom lip and looked at him up through my lashes. “Yeah” I mumbled, and pulled him into one last hug before opening the door. 

“Be free” I shooed with my hand playfully and he chuckled. “Until next Saturday yeah? I’ll be waiting to see what happens to our bunny friend” he pecks my lips on the way out the door and I smiled. “Mmhmm, don’t work too hard this week” I said and he rolled his eyes jokingly. “Mm- ye’ I’ll try” he said and I shook my head with a grin, shutting the door. I leaned against it with my full weight, and sighed deeply when I knew he was well out of earshot, sliding to the floor pathetically in a heap, covering my face in my hands. 

I need to process this. 

I hastily got up off of the floor, padding heavily into my bedroom, and picking up my phone off the charger. It smells like him in here - and I’m unsure how I felt about it. I grabbed my bong and a lighter, as well as my little lavender tin of pre-ground flower, and went to sit out on the balcony outside my bedroom, FaceTiming Sadie. She answers by the end of the second ring.

“Biiiitch - ok wait, you didn’t call last night so before you start- Say hey Syddd! We’re wine drunkkk” She giggled, already gone- and turned her phone on it’s side, leaning it up against god only knows what so I could see them both together and I bit my lip, trying to appear happy. Shit. 

I just wanted to air out everything to Sadie but of course she and Syd are hanging out- when she isn’t with me she was with her. This was going to be harder to navigate then I thought. 

I stuffed my bowl full of flower with my fingers, “hey!” I said trying to sound enthusiastic and I lit it, taking a deep inhale. 

“Dude did you fuck him I need all the details like - S-O-U Winnie!!!” Sydney said and I nearly choked out a lung laughing, completely not expecting her to be so open about me being with him knowing how she’d ranted about her frustrations about him before. Sadie busts out laughing and I try to catch my breath, drool pooling in my mouth. I dashed inside, grabbing my water bottle and taking a few big chugs before returning. 

“Sydney” I said once I caught my breath and looked at her, we all went silent for a few short moments, and before I knew it we were all giggling together again over nothing. “Stop! Stop stoppp we need details Winnie!” Sadie said when she caught her breath and I shook my head, unsure where to even start. “Well…Syd do you still want to fuck him?” I ask and she snorts loudly. “No absolutely not. Not anymore. I just stand that asshole at this point.” She rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her wine. 

“How do you mean?” I asked, lighting my bowl again to take a proper hit. She shakes her head, playing with the end of one of her braids. “Dude,  Where do I even start?” she sighed deeply, thinking for a moment. “Okay, well let’s start with the fact that he’s so fucking selfish. Winnie- the only thing, and you’ll learn this sooo fast- the only thing he cares about, is easing his own fucking- his inadequacy!!” She said, talking with her hands as she usually did when she got passionate, just like Sadie and I. 

“Expand” I said after I exhaled, crossing my legs and Sadie took a big gulp of her wine, knowing she was about to listen to the following complaints for the third or fourth time over now. “Well, firstly, for starters- I’ll tell you the real reason he fucked around with that girl Claire. Because it’s what Mikey would’ve wanted him to do. Same reason he opened the new restaurant. Because he only cares about proving to himself that his brother would be proud of him. But- but he doesn’t even want to be happy! When that is really what Mikey would have wanted, I mean- right?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, nodding a bit. 

“N-no. No you’re right and - yeah that’s his biggest issue so far” I said and she laughed, covering her mouth. “Sorry sorry it’s not funny it’s just…wow he hasn’t even behaved himself? Hid it? Like…” she took a deep breath to steady herself. “Winnie-  I love you. You know tha, right, really. ” she said, I nodded quickly, my chest tightening. “He’s not a person to get involved with. Even for the dick. Even if it’s good which- I can’t say I haven’t thought about it - but you’re a sweet person Winnie. And as much as you want to think he deserves you - despite him being a little bitch. he does not deserve someone like you - period. Because he will forever push you away. We know how you are, and we know better than you know how he is. So, this will be my one and only warning about him - do not get involved.” She said and I bit my lip, nodding quickly. 

Don’t get involved further, Syd wouldn’t lie just because she wanted him for herself. She really, truly loves me, she’s one of my best friends.

I stare off into the distance, that thought bouncing around in my thoughts and the entirety of the day suddenly feeling…wrong. “Ok so now that we got that out of the way- how was it. Like is it big? Also how…like good is he?” she asked and I sat back, sighing softly. “That was another…downfall…even though it’s not even really a downfall!” I shake my hands for emphasis. “It’s literally- he’s so good like…well- he’s not pussy eating champion 2024 but” I said, earning a giggle out of them. 

“I was riding his face while we were 69 so it wasn’t like bound to be the best for me - but anyway he is huge! Like not long, but thick” I said, lighting my bowl and taking another hit. “Cut or uncut?” Sadie asked, causing me to snort, smoke coming out of my nose and I coughed a bit. “Guys - Italian Catholic? Cut” I said matter-of-factly and Syd laughed. “Okay but - please don’t tell me he has all that rage and doesn’t take it out in the bed?” She questioned and I shook my head. 

“He's actually like…shy? Even in bed! But he’s so hot you’ve seen him shirtless, right Syd?” I asked and she nods “oh- yeah. Of course. So…what like virgin shy?” She asked and I bit my lip slightly as I thought. “Kinda but like- he’s done it - but it’s been once or twice and that’s it like he got all his bases covered, practiced everything a few times - and that’s it, but when he commits he commits and he listens oh my goddd!” I close my eyes thinking about it and Sadie laughed. 

“At least he knows how to follow directions in bed if anywhere good” Sydney said while taking a sip of wine and I laughed. “Ohhh my god! Oh my god. He’s like- low key a sub but I’d neverrr tell him because he’d never let me touch him again, I know it.” I went inside, closing the balcony door and setting my bong on my dresser before sitting on my bed. “Well yeah but I mean- wow” Syd blinks in surprise, taking in what I’d said. “Wow.” She hummed in thought and I laughed. 

“What?” I asked “well- I mean like I said multiple times he’s an asshole at work, so with how brute and bossy he is, I like assumed he’d be like ‘get on your knees slut’ kinda guy? That was my fantasy anyways“ she mocked Carmen and I burst out laughing, “oh my god I wish” I said gasping in laughter. This is exactly what I needed. I needed to rip the bandaid off, because I knew Carmen wasn’t going to keep his promise, how he acted before we took a nap solidified it. He hates being with someone more than once.

“I wish. I had to beg him practically to tell me that he liked what I was doing. Like, isn't praise the first thing in porn?” I roll my eyes, petting Persephone as she jumps up. “Wait- wait- you had to tell Carmen Berzatto how to do something” she laughed, her head falling back. “Dude- oh my god! You are my saving grace. I am so glad I never slept with him. I'd have been so disappointed!” she said and I snorted. “That’s what I was gonna tell Sadie when I called actually… I mean- like I said he follows directions sooo well, but I wanted him to throw me around a little and he didn’t” I shrugged, picking at my nails. 

“So if he asks, will you see him again?” She asked and I nibbled the inside of my lip nervously. “We had like…. We cuddled and stuff I’m never-“ swallowed thickly, my heart beginning to ache- remembering how attached I’d really felt to the day we’d had together, underneath all the anger I was feeling that he was so emotionally guarded. “I’m not doing that again- ever with him. But he has a really nice dick- we fucked in the shower?” I laughed and Sadie and Syd burst out laughing again. 

“And ohh my god. The most dominant thing he did was like spank me- I don’t know what came over him! I was like oop!” I giggled and Sadie snorted, Syd leaning over the table in laughter. “Sooo he made you finish?!” Sadie asks and I nod “oh yeah- I mean. Like I said. He listens really well he just needs to be told what to do.” I said. “So he fucks like a puppy?” Syd teased and I rolled my eyes, laughing a bit. “In a way. But it’s like- he can learn. That’s why I’m kinda like…” I sighed softly, looking away. 

“I dunno..I dunno” I shook my head and sighed a bit. “The Carmen Berzatto effect, welcome.” Syd said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes. “But he- he’s…so sweet” I sighed, playing with the ends of my hair. “And…like- I dunno. I’m slipping back into my old ways. I want to fix him” I rolled my eyes at the realization and rubbed my face. 

“Wooooow!” Sadie drawls “holy shit! Well maybe you aren’t slipping because I’ve never heard you come to that realization before you run yourself to the bone for someone who can’t be fixed.” Sadie said and I sighed deeply, knowing deep down she was right. “What if he does the work?” I asked hopefully, “he won’t. He like- I dunno I don’t wanna say he hates himself, but he hates himself. Like any sense of good in life he crushes it for himself because he thinks he works better if he has nothing and he’s always chasing something.” Syd said and shrugged, her voice even and calm. 

It was about an hour and a half of me divulging nearly every detail of the night to them other than the intimate details of Carmen telling me how many people he’d had sex with before we were all talked out. 

 I swallow thickly. “I’m just- I’m gonna shower guys. I love you Syd, thanks for not being mad at me. And…I’m- I’m sorry. I’m sorry for doing that.” I said honestly and she shakes her head. 

“Honestly, he may be happy this week cause he got his dick wet for once- so he might not be such a terror at work. Just…sleep it off. It was once, Winnie, but I promise- If you let yourself get involved further, he is going to hurt you. We didn’t even get anywhere and when he cut me off cold emotionally after Claire? I felt like a fucking nutcase. It’s for your own good, just - forget him, okay?” She said and I nodded softly. 

“Love you” I replied before hanging up 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V. -

After my night with Winnie, I slept peacefully- the first night. I had a nightmare, and I only threw up once opposed to the 2 or 3 times a night it usually occurred. But by around 8 am when everyone started showing up, all of the questions were making me anxious, and it was generally pissing me off that Richie, Tina, Fak, Sugar, it felt like everyone except for Syd was up my ass. 

I stood at one of the stations, chopping up onions and garlic for a stew that Tina was working on, doing absolutely everything in my power to not think of her. This was why. This. The fact that her face was the first thing I thought of when I got up. The fact that every fleeting thought is somehow weaving back to her. I could not do that again. Just the simple fact that I was sleeping better after seeing her once gave me unending anxiety. 

If I keep fuckin’ around with her, Shes gonna leave. Or she’s gonna be taken. Or she's gonna realize I'm not good enough. Or she’s gonna find someone better. 

I dropped the knife on the cutting board with a slam. “Goin to smoke.” I mutter to Syd as I pass by and shut the back door a little harder than I meant to. I leaned against the cool brick, trying to catch my breath. I felt over my pockets, finding my cigarettes, but - my fucking light. “Fuck!” I mutter to myself, rubbing over my face roughly. 

This is exactly how it fucking started with her. Me losing my damn lighter. 

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my hand, trying to ground myself. 

You fucking pussy. Get it together. You hooked up once you are not attached. You aren’t fucking attached. 

I tug at my hair, remembering the feeling of her beneath me, the softness of her sheets, that fucking mug. I leaned against the brick wall, taking a deep breath. I took out my phone, cursing myself for a small part of me hoping she’d texted me, since I was too pussy to say anything to her last night or this morning. I stared at my text messages, my eyes falling on my conversation with sugar. 

She’d sent me some “anonymous group therapy” shit about anxiety and she told me she thought it could help me. I'd brushed it off until now, but talking this shit out like I did with Mikey to people who weren’t allowed to repeat it- it sounded like it would feel good. I clicked on the lick, licking my lips nervously as it opened and took me to the page. 

Anxiety/PTSD ANON: Monday evenings at 6:00PM-9:00PM at St. Anthony’s Presbyterian Church. 

I furrowed my eyebrows a bit, PTSD. I hated when people would tell me I have PTSD. It’s so stupid- I’d never been to fuckin’ war. Or been raped or whatever. Being yelled at for being an idiot doesn’t constitute PTSD. But, considering people with PTSD are probably going through real shit, I’m sure it would feel easier to spill my guts to them then someone perfect like Winnie. 

I sit up off the wall, heading back inside and I look at Syd “yo- c’mere” I nod to the office and she follows, I shut the door. “Goin, on with you?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. She raises her eyebrows, “nothing? Why…” she questions and I narrowed my eyes slightly. “You’ve avoided me today. So again what’s up.” I asked and she shook her head, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“I don’t have time for this, Chef,” she said and sighed a bit. “You know what I’m talking about. You were on my ass Friday about me wanting to get out early and you were dying to know why- and you come in on Monday it just skips your mind?” I shrug, crossing my arms. 

“Look” she snips, taking her hand off the doorknob. “I don’t know what you think is going on, Chef. But I’ll have you know- I’ve had zero interest in your personal life again, until you started sneaking around here with one of my closest friends- and my cousins, who’s more like my sister- her best friend. So let’s just say, after the conversation she and I had-“ she looks at me pointedly. 

“An honest, open, friend to friend, girl to girl conversation, Carmen- you will have nothing to worry about me, and my interest in your “personal” life - anymore.” She said and left the office with a slam. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, fuck. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuck. Fuck. 

I could hear a ringing in my ears and my vision blurred slightly. I get the familiar feeling in my chest and sit down, clutching my head in my hands and spiraling into one of my episodes. 

My “personal” life. Ouch. I knew after what happened with Claire things had been…different between us- but I didn’t think she cared. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

I tug on my hair, my eyes screwed shut and breathing labored as my thoughts continue racing. 

Fuck. What did - did she tell her? Did she tell them about- oh my god I’m such a fucking moron. Of course she did. Of course. That’s- Winnie’s best friend- oh my god why did I trust her. Fuck. And - and she thinks I’m gonna fucking hurt her. She knows I would hurt her. 

“Sour things give you something to focus on” 

Her voice rings throughout my mind. I took a shaking breath, opening my office drawer and grabbed one of the sour warhead things I’d gotten on the walk home after that night with Winnie, and popped it in my mouth. I cringe at the sensation, but immediately am pulled back, for now. 

I spit the candy in the garbage can after a few grueling moments to be sure I got the full effect, before pulling my phone out of my pocket. Before I knew it with shaking hands, I was calling Winnie. After just 3 short rings the phone clicks and I sit up a bit 

Please leave a message after the tone for - Heyy it’s Winnie, I can’t talk right now, if you wanna leave me a message cool- but I’m better at texts. Ciao! *beep*

I took the phone away from my ear, quickly hanging up. At the sound of her voice I felt like I could breathe again. I bit my lip gently, considering texting her and telling her to call me back- but she would if she wanted. I shook my head, setting an alarm for 5 to remind myself to leave for that group thing, before locking my phone and heading back into the kitchen. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Winnie’s P.O.V . -

I went to the back around 5, finally finished cleaning up after a story hour today. It was Sadie’s day off and Mel was out sick so I was running the store alone, I barely got a break to take a piss let alone have a quiet thought to myself from the moment I got here. 

I sighed deeply, rubbing my bad hip that was driving me nuts today. The only thought that had been running through my head was how much I wanted to see Carmen. I was kind of grateful that the store had been so busy today because if it had been dead slow I’d probably have just locked up and gone to find if he was out for a smoke every few hours hoping I’d get lucky. 

It took me a while to finish cleaning up after the littles, and vacuum the whole floor considering the aching pain in my hip that was reverberating through my thigh and knee all the way up to my ribs. By the time I was squatted by the vacuum, in the back of the store, rolling up the cord it finally gave out on me and I collapsed to the floor in a heap, my head landing in my purse under the desk. How convenient. 

“Fuckin shit” I muttered to myself, knowing it would be at least 20 minutes before I would be able to use it again. I huffed, sitting up and banging my head under the desk in the process and groaning “ow” I whined, rubbing my head and leaning on my hip that wasn’t throbbing intensely. After a minute or so I dug through my purse, pulling my phone out. I scroll through the notifications from the day, Tik Toks from Sadie, news reports, a few texting ads when I see it towards the middle of the stack. 

Carm🧸 1 missed call 

I swallowed thickly - why was he calling me in the middle of the day? I checked our conversation to see the last text that was sent was still from when I’d told him my apartment number. I bit my lip gently, going over to Twitter to try and forget about him. I scroll through different posts, liking some of them, until my hip finally feels well enough again to try and stand. 

I slowly shifted my weight on to my good side, gently lifting my hip and letting out a small cry at the shooting pain as I pulled my knee up to get my foot in a standing position. “God fucking damn it” I cried out in pain as I haul myself standing, my arms shaking in pain as I lower myself as gently as I could in to the desk chair. I took a heaving breath, wiping away the tears from the corners of my eyes and swallowing thickly. I was absolutely not going to make it 2 blocks on this hip tonight. 

It had to have been all the exertion of the shower with Carmen, mixed with not sitting down only for 30 minutes today while I read to the kids. I rubbed my forehead in frustration, opening up the Uber app and seeing since it was ‘peak pricing’ it was gonna cost me $40 to get from the store home, and I do not have that kind of money. 

I groaned, sitting back and thinking to myself if trying to wait it out would just get me in a worse position of being stuck here all night because Sadie has no car or not eating dinner for the rest of the week, since my groceries were dwindling and I didn’t get paid until Friday. I huffed, “no, I can fucking make it” I muttered, I pull myself up, nearly screaming at the pain screaming at me to stop, and yank my jacket over my arms. 

With shaking hands, I got my keys out of my purse, flicking lights off as I limped, every step feeling like my leg was about to fall out like a Barbie that had never been properly popped into place. I groan quietly in pain every few steps, barely being able to lock the door from how violently my hands were moving. I looked both ways across the street, knowing it wasn’t long before a car came along. I try to take as big of strides I could into the alley. 

I honestly didn’t give a fuck if I ran in to Carmen right now, I was not walking an extra three blocks in my condition just to avoid him. I lean against the wall, feeling that familiar shaking in my bad hip like it was telling me it was counting down before it gave way and barely got to the steps outside of the bear's kitchen door before collapsing with a grunt, the pain vibrating through my spine at the fall. 

“Fuck” I whine, stretching my leg out in front of me. The faucet behind my eyes gives and my eyes are suddenly blurring with tears and I’m muffling sobs into my hand. The pain, the day I’ve had, and the worst of it- I’m stuck in the one place I don’t want to be. What kind of stupid desperate bitch will I look like if Carmen comes out to see me crying on the fucking steps of his restaurant. 

I swallowed hard, doing my best to pull myself to my feet but my hip had locked and it was no use. With shaking hands I take out my phone, and the door creaks open behind me. I quickly dry my tears as best I can “uh- I'm not here to see you I- I’m going home I’m sorry” I mutter. 

“Winnie the Pooh?” A slightly familiar voice said and I looked up to see Sugar standing there, a confused look on her face and I started to laugh to which she started looking concerned. “Oh!” I sniffle. “It’s you. Don’t tell Carmen I’m h-here” I hiccuped a sob and she furrowed her eyebrows, “no he's- wait” he shuts the door and sits next to me. 

“Why you cryin’?” She asked gently and I shook my head “oh my god it’s- I-“ I wiped my tears again. “My hip…I got in an accident when I was 19 and had to get my hip fused, and they did it wrong so it’s all fucked and it just..hurts” I said and sniffled. “Okay why- why don’t you want Carm to know that?” She asked “did he already fuck up?” She said with a teasing smile and nudged me playfully. 

“No- no he. Carm is…” I look at my feet. “Carm is wonderful. But he- he doesn’t want…what I would want, you know?” I look at her, still a bit teary eyed. She nods a bit “Y’know…Carm…somethin’ ‘bout that kid, he doesn’t allow a lot a’ good things…and” she rubs her hands together in thought, looking down for a moment. 

“I think you’re right, but it’s what he needs.” She said and looked back at me finally. “I won’t…get in the middle of this. But- just know, Carm could really use a girl like you around. He left early today…he told me he was feeling like it was too much and he needed to go think about shit. He’s never done that. That tells me you are getting to him to take care of himself. So if it’s a Carmen thing, pushing you away? Sometimes with that kid you have to force him to see what he’s missin” she got up and extended a hand to me. 

“What’re you doing?” I asked “cmon. Takin you home. Can’t live too far if you’re walkin’, right?” She asked and I smiled a bit. “You seem like a really good sister” I said softly and she smiled big. “Y’know. I always wished I had a sister, I don’t think either of my brothers have ever told me that'' she said, tucking her large purse into the crook of her arm. I crinkle my brows ``ok..well Carm and I will be talking about appreciating you because you give great advice” I grab on to her hand. 

She giggled a bit as she hoisted me up and I quickly balanced myself on the railing, my hip still barely functional. “Woah!” She said, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. “The car is right there parked in front- think you can walk?” She asked, concerned. I nodded quickly “yeah- yeah. I might need to like…lean on you” I said, my cheeks going pink with embarrassment. 

“Course! C’mere chicky” she wraps her arm around my waist and I smiled a bit to myself as she helped me limp to her car. “You hug like Carmen” I said softly as we approached the passenger side and she laughed, “don’t tell him that. He’s always said I’m too ‘touchy’ since we were kids” she pulled open the door and I slowly got in, the pain in my hip dulling significantly when I sat on the plush seats of her SUV. 

She gently pushed the door closed, coming to the drivers side and hoisting herself into the large vehicle. “Trust me- I totally get it. I have 2 kids, my hips or my bladder haven’t been the same since” she said jokingly as she started the car. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Carmy’s P.O.V -

I tried to take a deep breath, staring pointedly at the church in front of me. My dark gray knit sweater was suddenly feeling itchy all over my exposed skin, even though my usual white work shirt was still layered underneath. I pulled at the collar of the offending garment, roughly itching my collarbone at the sensation of a tickle just under my chain. Taking a final drag of my third cigarette just standing there, I throw it to the ground, crushing it with my sneaker. 

You can turn around- you can just get back in your car, and go home. You don’t have to do this. 

The devilish voice bounces around in my head. I’m unsure what got me to drive here, what got me out of my car after sitting there for 15 fuckin’ minutes, but suddenly I was planting my feet up each step into the grand wooden entrance of the church. 

Turn around. Turn around. Turn. around. 

My entire body screams for me to run as I step into the welcome hall. This confidence to change so suddenly has to be the effect of a mostly-full nights sleep- thanks to Winnie of course.

Stop fucking thinking about her. 

I’m met with a folding easel, a plain piece of white printer paper with an arrow that points to the left, reading ‘PTSD/ANXIETY ANON’ in large bold letters. I swallowed hard, staring at it intently. 

Leave. Leave. Leave!!!! 

The voice in my head was so loud that in my rested state, it drove me to push against it. To deprive it.  I headed down the hall, the only sound being my sneakers tapping the tile floor and the loud fluorescent lights buzzing above me. My eyes fixed on a bolded sign at the large honey-stained wooden door just at the end of the hall, taped to the wooden frame. ��ANXIETY ANONYMOUS” typed in bold letters on the same 8x11 printer paper and taped to the easel out front. 

I took a deep breath, blinking my eyes shut hard out of habit, thinking about what I was about to do- before swallowing back the anxiety and my hand felt the icy touch of the handle, pulling down and pushing it open. I met the faces of about 4 other tortured souls, staring blankly back at me. “Uh” I mutter, standing in the doorway feeling like a total idiot. 

“I-is this th-the.” I bit my cheek fucking word stumbling moron. “The fuckin’ anxiety anon meeting?” I spit out, trying my best to swallow the nausea rising in my throat from the crippling fear of meeting new people. A woman with a short bleach blonde bob, sitting in the corner at a large desk looks up. 

“Oh!! Joy. A newbie!” She chirps, standing up and walking over, standing a few feet away. “I’m Claire” she said happily, and the protein bar I scarfed down my throat earlier begged to make a grand 

reappearance.

“C-cl-?” I tried to grate out, swallowing thickly and my cheeks feeling so hot I was sure I could light one of my cigarettes on them. 

Run. Run, RUN - Carmen!!! Find the fuckin’ bathroom, slink out like it never happened. Bad idea. Bad idea. Horrible idea.. Moron. Idiot. Stupid. Useless. 

“Claire!” She repeats happily. “Are you alright with handshakes, dear? What's your name honey?” She sticks her right hand out to me confidently. My gaze meets her hand, and I swear my vision went blurry. I stumble back a bit. “Ba- bathroom” I muttered quickly, the feeling of vomit creeping up in my throat.

She gently pushes me into the hallway, grabbing the small trash can with her right hand and shutting the door behind her tightly. I ripped the trash pale out of her hands quickly, hurling my protein bar and whatever bile and water my stomach held for the last 6 hours In to it, squatting pathetically in the hallway against the wall and she stepped a bit closer, charm bracelets jingling as she rubbed my back while I wretch so hard I swore for a second my organs would fly out of my mouth. 

“Christ kid” she muttered, her nails gently grazing the small of my back as she rubbed soothing, small circles. “Know a Claire, mm?” She asked matter-of-factly when I finally stopped heaving, my brain fully empty other then fuckin Winnie reading to me last night. And the story of the stupid fucking bunny.

“Yes- b-b-sh-she“ I tried to get air into my lungs, but instead my chest forced me into a painful gasp. “N-no- used to…” I dry heaved over the garbage can so hard I dropped to my knees on the cold tile, and was sure I'd either pass out, or die of embarrassment at the pathetic sound and sight, feeling fully like a sniveling child. Unfortunately to no avail.. I gasped in a breath so violently, the sudden pressure in my lungs made me feel as if I was really about to pass out. 

I leaned against the cold wall, catching my breath before continuing. “I- I- fuckin” I winced at the pain in my stomach, my face clenching up slightly at the pang reverberating through every muscle in my body due to the intensity of all the emotions I was feeling at once. 

“Fuckin... I crushed on ‘er as a stupid, idiot kid..but fuckin hate ‘er now..“ I sniffle, mucus getting caught in my throat, causing me to choke and cough so hard over the trash can that my lungs burned. 

“Breathe, kid” she said, patting my back. “In through your nose and out through your mouth” she said and demonstrated a calm even breath. I rested my face on my arm, doing as she said, and finally catching my breath. “S-sorry I haven’t eaten much t’day and smoked like half a pack” I said and she nudged me gently. I look over and she’s holding a tissue, “thanks” I said wiping my mouth and nose tossing it in the garbage and leaning against the wall again, sighing deeply. 

“C'mon, you can just listen today if you don’t feel like talking. We have water bottles in there for ya’ “ she said, standing up fully and extending a hand to me. I nodded a bit, taking her hand to steady myself as I got up. She took the trashcan and tied the bag, leaving it in the hall before opening the door. “I’m..sorry” I mutter, shaking my head. 

“No! No happens all the time. Don’t worry” she said and opened the door. “Well gang, it’s us plus one newbie!” She said and handed me water from the counter at the side of the room before going to her seat and I swallowed thickly, sitting down on the furthest chair from everyone else, setting the water bottle on the chair before wiping my clammy hands over my jeans and swallowing thickly. “Alright” she said, sitting down with a clipboard. “Are there any big things this week that we need to start with?” She asked, I kept my gaze fixed on my lap.

“Yes- uh…my nightmares came back..” a small voice said and I looked up to see a girl with mousy brown hair and a deep scar on her right cheek. Claire nodded “did you want to share about them?” She asked her and the girl swallowed thickly. “No- no. I just… it’s about dating again after what happened. I can’t- I can’t. I’m always looking over my shoulder, I feel like a freak. It’s hard enough dating girls- and I- I have a hard time texting. And so when I meet them in person, I always catch them staring at me. And… and like I can hear their thoughts. Like ‘who is she hiding from’ or ‘I bet she has a secret girlfriend.’ And I - I’m so paranoid.” she huffed. 

“I’m sure all of us here have felt paranoid after a trauma, and especially, when experiencing something new, the feeling of…waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is very common. Especially if it relates back to childhood, those wounds linger for a long time. Has anyone else been feeling paranoid?” She asked the group. There was a silence for a moment, I took a deep breath, finding my tongue. 

“Me” I said, rubbing my thighs to soothe my anxiety. There was that familiar tightness in my stomach and my heart was thrumming in my throat. “Oh! Did you want to share more about that…sorry, how should we address you?” She asked and I kept my eyes locked on her, trying to forget there were other people there but still not wanting to sit alone with a shrink in an office. 

“Carmen'' I said and she nodded, “okay, Carmen- did you want to share what you’re feeling paranoid about?” She asked and I sniffled, rubbing my lips together nervously. “Ye’ uh, I met a-a girl. Last week. And I haven’t stopped…thinkin’ about her? Like. I dunno. I have sworn off women quite a while ago.” I rub my chin, eyes gazing to the floor nervously. 

“Okay, so what are you paranoid about?” She asked and my eyes flicker back to her. “So uh- yeah. S-sorry. Sorry. So uh- I work in a-a restaurant. And I run it, with my cousin and my sister. My second in command though, she- she knows this girl. And uh…I don’t know what’s been goin on? With me? And I…I like her. That’s-that’s why I’m paranoid. Cause I don’t…I can’t do girls and she-“ I sigh deeply, clearing my throat. 

“She told me that she wouldn’t pressure me?” My eyes met hers again and she nodded. “Okay, so you’ve felt pressured in relationships in your past, and are worried it will happen again?” She asked and I thought for a moment, rubbing the back of my neck. 

“Yes? Well…no..no not from her. I-I’ve been very pressured to like someone before and it was hell for me. B-but…that’s the thing is I trust she won’t pressure me. And I- when I’m around her, I’m not fuckin- im not fuckin like this? Like I- I can think, and I can breathe and…so-so-so if it’s not” I shake my head. “I feel so different around her? That’s why I’m paranoid.” I said finally. Claire sits back in her chair a bit. 

“Okay, so you’re paranoid she’s going to leave?” She questioned. I shook my head a bit, “no- no that’s the thing is that the shoe always drops for me, I already fucked this up by just being me. My- one of my chefs, Syd. She- she’s friends with this girl and…and I think she told her about all my…fucked upness. She-she warned her that im a fuckin’- a fuckin loser. I just- and I didn’t even want to allow myself to feel this way which is why I’m so scared cause I- I feel like- like.” I shake my head. 

“I feel like she’s good for me though. I-i just know I’m bad. I’m- I’m fuckin selfish. I would be a horrible boyfriend. I’m fucking insane I- I think. I wake up every night fucking throwing up. I- I obsess over things, and I just keep pushing and pushing until I get it how- how I see it in my head. B-but with her it’s like…I want to see? Where things go? Y’know? L-like I. I want her to show me…it’s- it’s stupid never mind” I shook my head looking back at my lap, pushing my bangs off my forehead nervously. 

“Well in here, no one is crazy. I think you’re paranoid of having no control over your emotions, Carmen. Which is perfectly normal. We can’t control anything in this world, other than how we react to our feelings about things. So, let’s delve deeper into your current self image- what comes to mind first when I ask why you’re selfish?” She asked and I shrugged a bit. 

“I fuckin’ shut the beef down, knowing it’s not what Syd wanted, knowing it’s not really what anyone wanted except for me. Because…cause Mikey left it to me. And- and I was like…I am fuckin’ angry at Mikey. And it was like- like a fuck you. Watch me do it better then you ever fuckin could” I said and run another hand through my hair at the realization. “Cause I fuckin’ - I only care about provin’ to myself that - that maybe I’m not a fuckin idiot. That I’m not useless.” 

“You aren’t an idiot, and you are not useless, and it sounds like you feel selfish- because you’ve found yourself in a pattern of catering to others desires. How do you feel about your own desires, Carmen?” She asked and I shook my head a bit. 

“No- no that’s..that’s what I’m saying I’m selfish. I - I’m a fuckin control freak at work everything is done my way, everything is tweaked to my standards, I don’t care what other people have to say about the re-“

She cuts me off “no- not your desires at work, in your life. Outside of work. In your relationships, friendships, personal goals? What do you desire your life to look like when you retire?” She asked and I swallowed thickly, my mind going blank. 

“That is a great topic for today, desires. It is extremely hard, especially after a traumatic event or even years of incurring trauma, and then allowing yourself to desire. We may feel selfish as Carmen does, after we incur tragedy in our lives- to feel joy again, or allow new people in our lives because we are afraid that if we desire while we are unhealed, then we were never really damaged to begin with.” She said and a guy sitting a few chairs away from her clears his throat. 

“I uh- yeah I relate a lot to what Carmen said about feeling selfish..after my brother died I stopped doing…everything I loved.” I look over at him, sitting up in my chair slightly. Cause I felt like if…if I’m happy then I don’t miss him? Or..or like. Like if I think about our good times together and loose the anger I feel about him killing himself for a few seconds- I feel like…like I’ll never stop thinking about what the fuck our lives would have been like if he just talked to me.” He said and crossed his arms. I sit up a little further in my seat. 

“Mikey - he was m-my brother. He killed himself too” I said and he looked over at me, “I’m sorry…older or younger?” He asked “shit- yeah sorry I should have led with that I’m sorry too. He was- he was older…” I replied and he nodded, swallowing thickly and looking away. 

“You couldn’tve done anything. I fuckin failed him though. He was younger” he muttered and I furrowed my brow shaking my head. “Nah. Nah don’t fuckin’ say that shit about yourself dude. Both of our brothers did it to themselves. That's one thing that we’re not responsible for. I’m- I’m angry that he- I needed him. Just like you needed your brother” I said and he nodded a bit. 

Claire cuts in “it is normal to feel angry at a loved one for committing suicide. It’s also completely normal to feel guilt for that anger. Jack, it sounds like the anger you’re harboring for yourself, for not ‘protecting’ your brother from himself- is covering up a guilt you feel for a perceived responsibility to the reasoning behind your brother's passing.” 

“I’m fuckin angry.” I shrug. “I’m fuckin- pissed at Mikey.” I said and she looked at me. “A question for you to ask yourself, Carmen, are you angry at Mikey or are you angry about the choice he made, to end his life, and leave you behind to forever miss him. Because they are 2 separate things. One is your brother, and the other- is a stupid choice he made. A choice that altered the lives of the people closest to him forever. He made the choice to have his legacy be one that ended in pain, and suffering for those who love him most. That choice, or Mikey - your brother that you clearly love very, very dearly.” She asked. 

I felt a lump forming in my throat, blinking back tears and I looked over to the clock. 

“Let’s circle back, yeah we have about 5 minutes left. This week's homework for you all, I want you to do one thing, or speak to one person” she looks to me for a moment “that you desire, and it’s guilt free, because you aren’t giving yourself the permission, I’m giving you the permission, and next week- we’re gonna talk about how it made us feel alright?” She said, 

“Alright. Hopefully I’ll see you all again next week. Same time and place per usual” she got up and went over to the desk grabbing her bag. I got up, grabbing the water bottle and quickly darting out of the room and back down the hall to the front door. I shoved it open taking a deep breath as I went down the steps 2 at a time back to the parking lot. 

I am not fucking going back there ever again. 

I shook my head to myself, but realized that I didn’t feel…like I was gonna have an episode. Er- panic attack like Winnie called it. But rather than everything I’d buried about Mikey felt like a hardened scab to a barely healed wound had been picked at and messed with for a while. It was an extremely uncomfortable feeling. This is why I stopped going to AI-anon. Talking about it hurts more than just focusing on other shit and forgetting about it when I can. 

I dug my cigarettes out of my pocket, taking one out and lighting it, leaning against the car as I smoked. I don’t know why Sugar keeps telling me that it’ll get better if I just talk about it, every time I talk about it I’m fuckin realizing shit. And I don’t like realizing shit. About myself. About Mikey. I’d rather just…fucking work. Just work. But I also hate work. 

I’m brought out of my thoughts to the same blonde that irritated the scab which felt permanently fused to my soul. “Spirits huh?” She said and I looked over at her. “Yup” I mutter, taking another drag. 

“I get it. I get it… if you don’t want to talk to me outside there it’s fine. I just wanted to say, I’m proud of you for opening up, good job. You should be proud of yourself.” She took a pack of Marlboro reds out of her purse and a blue lighter. 

“Thanks…” I said, watching as she took a drag. “No offense… but I kinda feel worse?” I said and she laughed, smoke spilling from her mouth in a cloud. “None taken my friend, none taken.” She said, waving her hand in front of her to clear the thick puff of smoke. “That’s good actually, really good. It hurts before it helps” she shrugged, taking another drag. 

“So- wait the fuck did I do t’you?! You wanna hurt me before you help me?” I questioned, pulling on my own cigarette. “Nothing oh my god!” She laughs. “Nothing Carmen! Oh jeez” she giggled slightly. “You need to come back, shut out the voice shooing you away” she said with a teasing smile and I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, not interested in ripping open old wounds when I’m already not able to process the bullshit I’m facing now.” I look at the ground, taking a long drag. 

“Mmm. Alright.” She shrugged casually, dragging her own and exhaling without a beat. “ what?” I asked her, dropping my cig and crushing it with my sneaker. “I…don’t care?” She laughs a bit. “If you want to stay in the mental prison you’ve created, so be it, Carmen. But- I’m here! Every week for the past 11 years” she retorts, tossing her cigarette into a puddle over the parking lot barrier. 

“Nice meeting you, kid. Word of advice-“ she turns to me as she pulls her driver's side door open. “Do the fuckin’ homework, mm?” She sits in her seat, starting the car. “That girl you mentioned, whatever her name is- I may be a shrink - but I’m also a spouse - the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about her? That's your wife, if I never see you again? I hope you’ve gone and got her.” She pulled her door closed without another word, backed out of her parking spot. 

I felt a vibration against my hip, pulling my phone out of my pocket  in case it was one of the employees and checking who it was. My throat dries out as I listen to the marimba ringtone, staring at my screen, my mind going blank. 

Winnie 🍯 Mobile 

The slide to answer button practically laughed at me. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[itsanerdlife]

Wicked Intentions 8

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader // (Seriously close) Steve Rogers x Reader // Clint Barton x Reader // T’Challa x Reader.

Warning: Violence. Language. Bullying. Girl Fights. Name Calling. Degrading Comments. Angst. Degrade of Woman (to a point). Criminal Life. Illegal Shit. Fights. Alpha Males. Stalking.

Characters: Peter Stark. Howie Stark. Bucky Barnes. Steve Rogers. Clint Barton. TC (T’Challa). Ben Reilly. Cledus Kasady (CK). Brock Rumlow. Gwen Stacy. Wanda Maximoff. Becca Barnes. Amore Lorelei. Kitty Pryde. Frank Castle. George Barnes. Joe Rogers. Winni Barnes. Pepper Stark. Wade Wilson. Eddie Brock. Warner Strucker. Barney Barton. Bobbi Morse. Pietro Maximoff. Logan.

A/N: This is a Bully Romance. High School setting. Mafia Family Life. Woman are on a lower level than males in their world. Just a heads up. This is the third installment of the series. Bad Intentions, Cruel Intentions, and Wicked Intentions.

Credit: Huge shout out to @ml7010 for all the help, pushing, hyping up, putting up with my changes midway through. If it wasn't for this peach, y'all never would have gotten this series or nearly as far as I am now.

Glasses clink as we giggle, sipping orange juice. Breakfast before the wedding.

“How does Bucky feel about you not going home last night?” Gwen smirks at me.

Shrugging a shoulder. “Couldn’t tell you, I haven’t spoken to him.”

“Didn’t you tell him last time, to let him yell at you and kiss you, when he fucks up again?” Becca lifts a brow at me.

Sipping from my glass I shift to look at her. “Whose side are you on?” Squinting at her.

The other two giggle quietly. Becca rolls her eyes. “Aren’t you two stepping on your own agreement with your fiancé?” Becca sasses me.

“You ever been hit with a waffle?” I ask, both of us grin suddenly laughing.

“Not something I thought would come out of the mouth of the head of the table.” Pietro chuckles, taking the other open seat, at the head of the table.

The table falls silent. Each of us stare at him.

“Pietro.” Wanda whispers.

“Little sister.” He grins at her. His stark white hair, a shaggy length on him, but well maintained. His pretty blue eyes flicker with excitement and more than likely mischief. His facial hair, short and well kept, and new from when he was sentenced.

“You’re out.” I lift a brow at him.

He shrugs, settling back in his chair. “What was the point of escaping with only a few days to release.” He winks at me. I smirk, rolling my eyes at him.

“That wouldn’t stop you and we all know that.” Taking a bite of my waffles.

“Not all of us.” Pietro suddenly leans forward, his hand out, over my plate. “Hello,” he purrs.

“Don’t purr at her.” I gag. “She’s marrying Howie.” My eyes roll again.

“Rebecca. Pietro. Excuse him, he has no home training.” I sass.

Becca laughs, shaking Pietro’s hand. “Rebecca Barnes.” She introduces herself.

“Howard is a lucky man.” He nods, glancing over her.

“He’s an idiot. Let’s be real.” I snort.

The table chuckles, nodding.

“You’re glowing Gwen.” Pietro turns his attention.

“Thank you.” She lights up, glancing down at the belly, small but noticeable, she’d grown.

“Now,” Pietro leans back again “to my little sister on her big day.” He picks up a water glass, lifting it towards Wanda, before taking a drink.

Wanda sips slowly, eyes on her brother. “Do I want to know?” She finally speaks.

“Know what?” Pietro sets the water down.

“What does father have you up to now that you’re out.” Her tone getting annoyed.

Becca side eyes me.

Gwen quietly eats her French toast.

I’m the only one openly watching them.

“It’s your wedding day, no need for business, сестра.” Pietro hums with his accent.

Wanda glares hard at me.

“Pietro,” I sigh.

“I promise.” He laughs, holding his hands up. “No business today. You’re head of the table now; we can talk another day.” He nods.

“I knew it!” Wanda huffs loudly, trying to avoid a scene.

Pietro sighs.

“The wedding push, you getting out early. As she takes over the table!” She whisper shouts at him, thrusting a hand at me. “You and dad are using me again.” She snaps through her teeth at him.

“Red, it’s fine. Breathe.” I speak softly to her. “Anger and tension headaches do not go with a wedding.” Gwen rubs her hand down Wanda’s back, soothing her.

“Y/N,” she huffs, defeat in her eyes. I nod, understanding.

“Pietro,” I turn looking him straight on “do not fucking ruin this day for your sister, don’t breathe a word of your business, do not try to speak of table matters to me, on this day. You might have done time, but what I was doing here in the war, was far worse. Do not play with me, I have bodies on my hands, and I will not think twice of adding yours to them.” I warn him sweetly.

Pietro grins at me. “Yes, boss.”

Rolling my eyes at him, I turn back to the table.

“Going to talk to Bucky today?” Gwen grins at me.

“I hate you.” Glaring at her. It only earns laughs from the girls.

------

“You’re killing me, doll.” He hurries after her as she walks away from him. Down the hotel hall. “I gave you one night, that’s all you’re getting.” He huffs, taking long strides to keep up with her. She doesn’t reply or spare him a look.

“We made a deal, Y/N.” He warns her. She pauses, making him stop quickly.

She doesn’t reply but glares at him, a dark, dangerous, lethal stare.

“Jesus.” He takes a step back from her.

Deep brown eyes, filled with anger stare back at him, making him uncomfortable.

“You fucking promised James.” She speaks through her teeth.

“And you knew I would fuck up again! You said it!” He huffs, thrusting his hand out.

Her head tips, watching him. She shakes her head, walking away again. He groans, sighing.

“This isn’t over Y/N Stark.” He calls after her. “Act out again, and I’ll ruin your best friend’s wedding with a fight, don’t test me.” He grins,

when she pauses, she glances back at him. “I’ll kill someone in the middle of this wedding if you think about it, Chaos, try me.” Still grinning, shrugs, backing up. Turning slowly he walks away.

Clint’s holding the door to the hotel room open when he steps up.

“To normal people that’s really fucked up.” He chuckles.

“To chaos,” Steve shakes his head.

“It’s a declaration of love.” Peter laughs.

“You gotta match her fucked up.” Sam grins.

He chuckles, taking a seat in the hotel room. “And we all know I match that.”

“We knew that the day she walked into Saints and smirked at you.” Clint pushes open the hotel window, lighting up a smoke.

Steve sighs, kicked back in his chair. “When she laid out Quill, I knew we were fucked.”

Bucky smirks at them, shrugging. They weren’t wrong.

“She’s chaos.” Peter sighs.

“No shit.” The room chuckles softly together.

“Hey Bucky,” Sam glances over.

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t kill anyone during my wedding.” He grins.

Standing up, Bucky walks to the window, taking Clint’s smoke. “No promises.” He grins out the window.

“No wonder he’s marrying our sister, they’re both chaos.” Peter sighs, shaking his head.

-------- Everything Peaches 12/8/22 @mo320 @ml7010 @babizza @kmc1989 @joannie95 @coley0823 @rileyloves5 @sexyvixen7 @duckestylez @abschaffer2 @drayshadow @shirukitsune @xoxabs88xox @carostar2020 @rosalynshields @hookslove1592 @royal-sunflower @iwillbeinmynest @bellamy-barnes @geeksareunique @happydeanpotter @fanfic-n-tabulous @steel-blue-eyess @mariekoukie6661 @bless-my-demons @notyourtypicalrose @lets-talk-about-xyz @loving-life-my-way @shinycupcakebaker @also-fangirlinsweden @stupendous-science @daughterofthenight117 @dandelionsmarkthegrave @physically-a-cheesecake @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @nickyl316h @jbbarnesgirl @lets-roggerthat @this-is-mycrisis @kaylaphantomhive

Series tags: @sebastians-love @otterlycanadian

[fanderficreader]

Sometimes You Just Gotta Relax.

(TickleTober Day 6 “Cuddles”)

Words: 1,099

Ships: Moxiety (either platonic or romantic, idc)

TW: None.

Virgil didn’t know why but he was in a very touchy feely mood today, and it unsettled him. He’s not the touchy feely type. So why he was in the mood to be in the sweet and warm embrace of a loved one, and never let go until the day he died was beyond him.

But nonetheless he still felt these feelings, and it seemed as though they weren’t going anywhere. So, he said ‘ah, f** it.’ And acted on the feelings. Which is why he was now standing in front of Pattons door.

He hesitated at first, but then, he begrudgingly knocked on the door awaiting the sweet welcoming words of his favorite friendly father figure figment. Just then, he heard a ‘Come in!’ And opened the door.

There on the bed laid a happy and content Patton on his stomach, coloring in a ‘Winnie The Pooh’ coloring book. “Hey kiddo!” He looked up to see his dark strange son looking at him, with a small loving smile. “What can I do ya’ for?” He asked, in his signature dad voice.

“Oh nothing.” He replied. “I just kinda wanted to… uh- well, I just thought you would wanna maybe… er- do you think we could, maybe, possibly…. Cuddle…??” It took him painfully long to blurt it out, but, when he finally did Patton looked at him with an excited ear to ear smile.

“Well, of course kiddo!! I’d love to!” He exclaimed. He shifted so he was now laying on his back, with his head against a propped up pillow. He then patted a spot next to him, for Virgil to lay. Virgil slowly walked over, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He gave a half smile at Patton, and then plopped himself down next to him, immediately cuddling up to the cardigan wearer.

“You wanna be little spoon?” Patton asked in a loving voice. Virgil nodded, shoving his head deeper into Patton’s chest to hide the growing blush. “Aww, you’re too cute to handle sometimes Virge…” he said stroking Virgil’s hair to soothe him, and relax him. His breathing leveling out as he quickly muttered out “nno’ cute…” he said in a sleepy tone, before inevitably falling asleep.

After about half an hour of relaxing scalp scritches and head rubs from Patton, Virgil then started shifting slightly as Patton switched from head scratches to shoulder scratches. “You alright there Virge?” As Patton asked that he then proceeded to take his scratching fingers downwards to Virgil’s lower back.

That’s when he started squirming back and forth. “Ohh, I get it.” Patton just then had the realization of what was happening. “Are my back scratches tickly tickling you?~” he asked in a borderline baby voice. That’s when Virgil started quietly whining, the little back tickles were bad enough but Virgil couldn’t handle the teasing too!

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. ‘Oh but he’s still asleep’ and to that I say he is slightly asleep. The more and more Patton keeps up the tickling -albeit very slight and gentle and light tickling yes, but it still tickles- the more and more awake and coherent he becomes. “Hey Virgie~” he called out. “I think someone’s about to get tickled in their favorite spot~” he said before fluttering and lightly scratching behind Virgil’s ear and in the crook of his neck.

If he wasn’t awake before, he was now. That had woken him up enough that he was now a puddle of light squeaky giggles. “Your gunna kill me with cuteness!! Stop bein’ so darn adorable!~” he said in a teasing tone. “EHEHEHheheh!! PAHHAhahaehehe!” He was a squirming scrunched up pile of laughter. “Aww, is this your melt spot?” Patton asked as he fluttered at a spot where Virgil’s jawline met his neck. When he did that Virgil just laid there with his neck half scrunched up and just melted into the touch.

“Oh… my g- Are You Purring!?” Patton started hearing low vibrations in Virgil’s giggles that almost sounded like purrs. “Nohohaha, Ihhhehehmhm nohahat!” He protested. “Mhmyyeheh voice ihisss juhusst sscrahachhyyehe!” He managed through the remaining giggles. I say ‘remaining’ because Patton was so thrown off by the sound that he unknowingly stopped tickling Virgil.

“Well either way, it’s adorable!” He said, with a genuine smile on his face. With that, he started the tickling and fluttering back up again. After a while Patton got bored, so he decided to pull Virgil up into his lap so he could explore other possible tickle spots. “Hmm…” he gave Virgil’s right lower ribs an experimental poke. Which resulted in Virgil clamping his arms to his sides and letting out a slight giggle.

Patton, liking the result he got, continued with the same motion on every other rib, and he got the same reaction every time. By the time he was satisfied, Virgil was a giggling panting mess. He loved every second of it. Patton then gave other experimental pokes all over Virgil’s tummy, and he was a giggly, squeaky, wiggly mess.

“Do you wike having youw tummy tickwed?~” Patton asked in a baby voice, that made Virgil audibly whine and cover his rising blush, as Patton kept poking around his stomach. That is, until he found a spot that made Virgil squeal and hide his face more. “What was that Virgie-Wirgie?” He poked it again and got the same squeal, but this time it earned him a few leg kicks and an ‘Ack!’. -which he was very proud of-

“Is this little button right here whats making you all squirmy?~” if Virgil could protest his teases right now he would, but he couldn’t. He was too busy being flustered by them to fight them, right now. Virgil was pulled from his train of thought though, as he felt a poke delivered to his navel. He gasped and laughed briefly.

“Oh~ Is this a good spot??~” Patton asked, delivering another poke and a quick flutter to his bellybutton. Patton was a little taken aback at how eager Virgil was to respond, and not only respond but give a nod. After about another 20 something minutes of this, Virgil was getting a bit restless. So, when Patton finally delivered a good 2 and a half minutes of armpit tickles Virgil signaled that he was done.

“You tired kiddo?” Patton asked, before Virgil even nodded Patton was already laying them back down on the bed, to have a nice nap together. With that, Virgil could confidently say today was a good day.

And, he wouldn’t be opposed to spending any other days just the same…

[babyjakes]

❄️ 15 + 1 QUESTION GAME ❄️

trying to lighten the mood over here with a tag game i was included in, thanks @starksbabie for the tag!!

1. are you named after anyone? i think i was named after one of my mom’s dear friends from childhood

2. when was the last time you cried? yesterday, listening to olivia rodrigo 😔👍

3. do you have kids? does winnie count? (no 😌)

4. what sports do you play/have you played? sooo many in childhood: basketball, softball, track, etc. figure skating and dance were the ones that stuck. these days i’m into leisure walking and skating still

5. do you use sarcasm? yes? i try to. i sometimes feel clumsy or unnatural doing it though

6. what is the first thing you notice about people? how their voice sounds, how safe or unsafe they make me feel

7. what’s your eye color? dark brown

8. scary movies or happy endings? both! though i haven’t watched many scary movies recently, after seeing one that really messed with me lol

9. any talents? my Autism Thing/Gift is music. i’ve been training in music and music theory since i was a toddler. i also consider my empathy and people skills some sort of talent or gift

10. where were you born? south korea 💕

11. what are your hobbies? writing, painting and other crafts, music composition and performance, pokemon, the sims

12. do you have any pets? my sweet sweet kitty 🫶

13. how tall? 5’3

14. favorite subject in school? music theory, creative writing

15. dream job? all through my childhood and even into the beginning of college i was set on becoming a kindergarten teacher 🥺 unfortunately teachers don’t make livable wages here and gun violence is so rampant that i decided to abandon the field

16. in place of ___, what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home? i didn’t skip any but here’s my answer anyway: the gloves my mom left in my car the last time we went shopping together, the sound of my cat’s purr, little towns in rural wisconsin

no pressure tags (a super ton of them bc i miss interacting with my friends!!): @nony-bear @eulalielatibule @hansensgirl @thebookbakery @worksby-d @foxgloveprincess @stargirlfics @jtargaryen18 @phoenix-rising-starbird-one @candy-and-writing @lilacevans @evansbby @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @jakeysangel @sparkledfirecracker @navybrat817 @chrisevansonly @munstysmind @nana1000night @brandycranby @jamneuromain @thesummerpetrichor @ttyls @levans44 @eloquentreverie @witchywithwhiskey @jen-with-a-pen @sunshine-on-my-mind @vellicore @chxrryhansen @cats-and-sheep @heck-heckers-hecking @bambibabysblog @bucky-boo-bear @chcmpagnes @myrealmstuff @bejeweled-mastermind @hallecarey1 @melissaceciliah @rosierosierosie307 @mutual-monsters @uhmellamoanna @minoots @babyblue2244 @lostandlonelyduckling

[winniemaywebber]

23 from the prompts for both couples please Winnie ❤️

hi nonnie! sorry this one took a couple days, thanks for being so patient <3

prompt is from this list and my inbox is still open for more (:

under the cut. 18+ only, minors DNI

23. “relax, I've got you”

Olive x Dougie

It’s midnight before Olive gets through her red front door, the breeze of the night slamming the door behind her. She winces at the sound, wanting to be as quiet as possible so as not to risk shocking her husband. She kicks off her shoes with a grunt of frustration before throwing down her overnight bag. Tomorrow’s problem, she thinks to herself as she wanders into the kitchen for a snack. She is exhausted; a weekend full of fun with her best girls had been topped off by the sourest moments possible. A four hour delay at the bus station and another hour stuck downtown while an emergency mechanic had to be called to fix an issue with the bus.

She’s surprised to see soft light emanating from the living room, a lamp left on by a forgetful James Douglass. As she opens the door with a tut escaping her lips, she jumps at seeing him standing in the living room, having just stood up from his place on the couch.

“Thought it was you,” he smiles, placing his book on the coffee table. “I’ve been worried sick,” he says, pulling his wife into his arms. “It’s late, why didn’t you call?”

“Lost my change purse,” she grumbles. “I set it down and when I looked back, it was gone. Right at the tail end of the delay.”

“We’ll get you a new one tomorrow, mkay?”

She nods, pressing her soft lips on his. “Missed you, my love.”

“Missed you more, Mrs Douglass.” He tilts her chin up so her eyes meet his gaze, him staring into them gently yet intently. “You’re tense, my girl.”

She laughs, her nose touching his. “It’s been a stressful day,” she replies, arms winding around his neck.

“Let me make you feel better, hm?”

His hands squeeze at her waist as the kiss deepens, her tongue finding his as she melts into him. It’s only taken one little moment and she’s feeling the stress and anxiety melt off her, only taking stock of his mouth on hers and his hands scrambling to undress her.

The pair of them make quick work of getting the other disrobed, those three days away from each other apparently the cause of this fiery hunger. They collapse on the couch, the feeling of his body on top of hers causing her to exhale heavily, as if every problem she’d experienced that day was pulled out of her with each moan he was hearing from her. Her hips buck into him as he makes his way down her body, kneeling down in front of her and placing her legs on his shoulders, pulling her closer to his mouth.

“Oh,” she whimpers, watching him press his face into her.

“Relax,” he murmurs, his tongue pushing through her. “I’ve got you.”

***********************************************

Jean x Harry

“Enjoy your stay,” the man at the reception desk said, handing Bing the key. “Congratulations again.”

“Thank you,” Harry replied, picking up both suitcases and leading his wife down the long hall.

It's only been four hours since the couple stood in church and said “I do,” the nervous energy swirling around them ever since. It had really crept up her stomach during the celebration dinner with both of their families, Jean only being able to take a few small bites of salad. Now they are here, walking to their honeymoon suite, the nerves are coursing through the pair of them.

Jean had always known that their first night as newlyweds would be nerve-wracking, but nothing like this – heart in her throat, butterflies rising up to her chest. Before she has time to try and calm herself, they're at the door. Harry unlocks it, placing their suitcases by the bed neatly, side by side.

He sits on the bed, pulling his tie off and throwing it haphazardly on the floor.

“Cmere, Mrs Crosby,” he purrs, arm out to pull her in. She walks to him tentatively, shedding her tuille shawl as she stands between his legs. His hand reaches up to her face, pulling her down to kiss him. Hers grip the back of his neck as it deepens, soft yet passionate, tongues pushing together.

She breaks away, beginning to unbutton his shirt. She struggles with the small buttons as she notices her hands begin to tremble, letting out a jagged breath.

“Hey,” Harry murmurs, taking her nervous hands in his unusually calm ones. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” she lies, the tension caught in her throat. “I'm just…I'm a little nervous.”

“I can understand that,” he replies, his soft, brown eyes filled with sympathetic understanding. “I promise, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I don't care where we're at in the moment, you say stop? We stop. We have time, darling. Okay?”

“Yes, honey,” she squeaks out, moving forward to kiss him again. She seems to fall into him this time, a sudden warmth pooling in her stomach and replacing the nervous energy that was there a few moments earlier. He pops open the buttons on the back of her dress from where he's sat, gently tugging it from her body.

“You are beautiful, Mrs Crosby,” he says, his hands running up her body. “Relax,” he reassures her sweetly, planting soft kisses on her stomach. “I've got you.”

[disneytva]

ANIMATION AND PUPPETRY ON DISNEY+ - AUGUST 2024

MOVIES

-Muppets from Space (Users with "Hulu on Disney+" only) 1/8

SERIES

-Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures Season 2 14/8

-Playdate with Winnie the Pooh S2 E1-E5 21/8

-Spidey & His Amazing Friends S3 E14-E18 23/8

-SuperKitties S2 E6-E9 28/8

SHORTS

-Star Wars: Young Jedi Adventures Shorts - Season 2 2/8

-SuperKitties: Su-Purr Adventures 8/8

-Me & Winnie the Pooh Season 2 21/8

[leaderpinhead]

Delwyn (OC) - Snowy Pen Pal

Day 3 of Fluffcember 2024 Prompt: Snow Man Note: Delwyn is an OC of mine who is a student of Pomefiore Dorm.

Delwyn knew he was being followed. Living in a dorm with a person like Rook made it very easy to recognize the signs: the raised hair on the back of his neck, the subtle shift in the air, the sudden fleeing of everyone else in the area. The last sign was usually just a sign of Rook, but Delwyn figured anyone with stalker-like tendencies would be avoided by normal people. 

When the third group he encountered immediately ran the moment he passed them, he sighed and turned to confront his stalker. “Rook, please. I told you hitting that bird with a snowball was a complete accident, and I do not have a secret power for hun...ting?” 

Delwyn confusedly searched the area when he didn’t find Rook hiding behind a nearby bush. He spun in a tight circle, his confusion mounting when he didn’t see Rook anywhere. He knew Rook was fully capable of disappearing when he didn’t want to be seen, but he was never serious when he stalked Delwyn. More often than not, he wanted Delwyn to find him so he could dramatically swoon and pretend they coincidentally ran into each other. Delwyn believed Rook just didn't know how to approach people in a “normal” way. 

A sharp tug on his shirt made Delwyn look down. A small face smiled up at him. A pair of round ears energetically fluttered above a shock of orange hair. “You got really pretty hair!” 

Delwyn crouched to the child’s level. His hands fluttered around him, not wanting to spook the boy but also wanting to grab him and run as quickly to the headmage’s office as possible. “Are you lost? Do you need help finding a parent? How did you get on the campus?” 

The boy laughed. He grabbed one of Delwyn’s fluttering hands and put it on his head. Delwyn automatically patted his soft hair, which seemed to be exactly what he wanted. “I not lost! I playing hide an’ seek with Unca Leona. He say if I hide really, really, really good, I get candy!” 

Delwyn’s panic somewhat settled, though he still questioned Leona’s blase treatment of his nephew. Surely even Leona wasn’t careless enough to allow the small boy to run around the campus with no supervision. Delwyn wouldn’t even allow Dai to walk around the campus, and Dai was fifteen years old! 

“My name’s Cheka!” Cheka happily continued. He bounced in place to urge Delwyn to continue patting his head. “What’s your name?” 

“Delwyn,” Delwyn automatically answered. His hand mechanically moved against Cheka’s head. Cheka didn’t mind, emitting a quiet grumble that almost sounded like a purr. “You can call me Wyn, though. Most of my friends do.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Winnie,” Cheka said with a surprising amount of politeness. “Do you know my Unca Leona?” 

Delwyn nodded. “I do. We had a few classes together last year.” 

“That makes you Unca Leona’s friend!” Before Delwyn could argue with the naive logic, Cheka grabbed the end of the braid hanging over Delwyn’s shoulder. Delwyn winced at the sharp tug, but he knew there was no malicious intent behind the action from the way the boy cooed over his hair. “It so soft! But cold. Like snow! I like snow. Do you like snow?” 

“I do.” Delwyn used his free hand to adjust the hold Cheka had on his hair. “My family takes a vacation in the mountains every year to see the snow.” 

Cheka’s ears drooped, and his smile disappeared. “I don’t get to play in snow much. It don’t snow in the savanna.” 

The small, sad sniff from the cub pierced Delwyn’s chest. He glanced around once more. The only other student he found immediately ran in the opposite direction. (Delwyn was starting to question the apparent fear the other boys his age had of children.) 

He stood from his crouch and extended his hand to Cheka. The boy took it without hesitation. Delwyn decided he needed to discuss with Leona how easily his nephew trusted strangers...or tell Vil, so Vil could have a discussion with Leona. 

For now, Delwyn guided the boy behind the library where they couldn’t be seen from the main street. He put one finger against his lips. “Don’t tell anyone what I’m about to do.” 

Cheka nodded and put his fingers to his own mouth. Delwyn breathed deeply and concentrated on his magic. The spell he chose was a simple water spell, and it should have made a small waterspout in his hand. Everyone on campus learned it their first year because it was simple but also a fun party trick to show off when they went home for the holidays. 

With Delwyn’s magic, the water he summoned immediately froze. He delicately tapped the small icicle. It shattered into smaller pieces, showering his palm with a thin layer of ice flakes. Cheka leaned closer, his mouth gaping and eyes shining. 

Delwyn waved his other hand, and the ice flakes swirled on the small wind he summoned. The flakes compacted to form a small snowman in the palm of his hand. Cheka’s awe exploded with a loud squeal when he recognized the shape. “It’s a snowman! Can I hold it? Please!” 

Delwyn chuckled and carefully put the small snowman in Cheka’s hand. Cheka cooed and brought it closer to his face. “It’s a real snowman! It’s not even snowing! Make more!” 

The happy little skip in his heart told Delwyn he would have made an army of little snow men for the happy little lion. A derisive snort behind him made Delwyn freeze. “Luring little children behind the library? Shame on you, Storm.” 

Delwyn spun around so quickly that he lost his balance and fell flat on his rear. He stared up at Leona with wide eyes. He tried to protest against the accusation, but he could only spit out a confused sputter. Leona stared at him through half-lidded eyes, one ear twitching in obvious disinterest. 

Cheka—completely oblivious to the new awkwardness—ran to Leona with his hands extended. “Unca Leona! Look! Look! It’s a snowman!” 

Leona huffed and put a hand on the top of Cheka’s head to stop his energetic bouncing. “Yeah, yeah. I see. Didn’t I tell you to stay in the lounge?” 

Cheka ignored the question completely and ran back to Delwyn. “Make another snowman for Unca Leona, Winnie!” 

Delwyn could only voice an embarrassed squeak. Leona grabbed the collar of Cheka’s shirt like a mother cat would grab a kitten by the scruff of its neck. Cheka whined as he dangled in the air and went limp in Leona’s hand. “You’re not getting anything after making me run around the campus looking for you. Give up your little toy before you make a mess everywhere.” 

Cheka whined, but he obeyed his uncle. He held out the snowman, and Delwyn took it before either of them could get into more trouble. Leona huffed and tossed Cheka over his shoulder. He flicked his tail at Delwyn. He didn’t say another word, which Delwyn was grateful for because he probably would have melted into an even bigger puddle of embarrassment. Cheka waved back at him while Leona stalked away towards the Hall of Mirrors. Delwyn could hear Cheka happily describing everything that happened after Delwyn found him, especially how Delwyn told him not to tell anyone what they were doing. 

Delwyn sighed and glanced down at the little snowman he held. It was already melting, so Delwyn released the spell before slowly climbing to his feet. He had a sinking feeling Leona would be giving him the stink eye whenever they passed in the halls for the foreseeable future. 

He didn’t expect Leona to approach him the very next day and toss an envelope at him before marching off with a muttered, “The brat needs to find pen pals his own age.” 

Confused, Delwyn carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the thick sheet of folded paper. The very childish drawing of two stick figures—one with bright orange hair and the other with long, braided white hair—stood on either side of a smiling snowman. Crooked letters at the bottom of the paper spelled out I mak u Snow Man 2! 

Delwyn smiled and tucked the letter away in his textbook. The warm feeling in his chest stuck with him for the rest of the day, even when Rook jumped out from behind a pillar to boisterously compliment the beauty of his “radiant smile!” 

[azalea-bee]

hi hi bee ^^!! m goin roun an do u hav any queit time or naptim hcs for ur ocs or chars n suff fom ur stuff u like ^^!

hihihi!! :D yeah i hav some hehe :3

i think winnie always likes takin naps curled up w emrys when hes lion!! n sometimes they cn be lil bit fussy if they can’t nap that way hehe, s her favoriteee thing ever <3 he purr-rumbles lil bit n hes cozy warm soft and it soothes her t sleep right away :D

an my oc micah is a kitty regressor sometimes n they loveee t sleep in sunshiney warm spots :D think sometimes micah sneaks up an join winnie n emrys cuddle pile after they’re asleep so they don’t notice them hehe, they’re very sneaky shy kitty!!

my new oc rome rly likes makin blanket forts, he has hard time nappin unless he feels cozy tucked in close :] i think he’d get one f those bed tent things too!!! but he gets grumpy n doesn’t like takin naps bc he thinks hes too big (hes like 7ish regressor hehe) and he likes t keep gettin up and playing until someone helps him sleep hehe

ooh an i think dickie likes naps but has hard time gettin t sleep!! an when he does nap only like little power naps like 15 minutes! but when i’m small think he would like t just sit quiet with me n listen to somethin or watch show while i nap on him :]

[sooyun-ichtama]

{ credits } Adora-tions - BFF Heart Avoixs - Winnie moles cheezu. choa top {dm} Hairbase - Aura {dm} moonchild Face tattoo {minuit} Cami Choker {minuit} Lisa Skirt MOVEMENT - Luxe mini bag - BLACK | collabor88 NANITAS DESIGNA - Starlight Tattoo PADO // amor hair Purr-Fect // TAKA GLOVES Stardust - Taylor Eyes tres beau x lelutka evox - dami skin TROPIX // Dead end Street Scene { wistaria } // Pudding Pot Lippies [Z O O M] Savage Belt Nails

flickr | instagram | primfeed

[walkawaytall]

I arrived home this morning and went straight to bed since I wasn’t really able go fall asleep on my overnight flight. Posey knew where I was, but she kept jumping off the bed, leaving the room, and then crying incessantly until I’d call her name, at which point she would come back in my room, verify that I was still there, purr for awhile on my bed, and then repeat the whole process.

I also woke up to both her and Winnie sleeping on my limbs when Winnie never wants to be that close to Posey. I’m not 100% sure, but I think they missed me 😂.

[strawberrystepmom]

hi kendy, i have a personal question, you dont have to answer if it's too much, but how do you get ready to touch yourself? because i think i get distracted too easily and it's hard to get in the mood, and i end up ruining it for myself 😭 sorry if this is too creepy, just delete it if it bothers you, but thank you anyway!

listen i used to do this too and I dead ass remove distractions. no tv in the background, maybe just something to muffle noises if i need that, but it’s just me, headphones/earbuds, and whatever else is needed bc baby if the tv is on I’ll be sitting there fully Winnie the Pooh pussy out shirt on vibe in hand watching love after lockup 😭😭😭😭

also like…set the mood. I used to be like ugh im just trying to bust a bit i dont need this but it adds to the experience. read a sexy story or watch some soft core to get you started, just a little purr and not a revving engine quite yet. make mapping your body our an experience instead of a rush, remember what makes you feel good and really focus on it. there’s a lot of mindfulness in masturbation if you let there be!!!!

sometimes I’ll massage my own thighs/calves/hips or I’ll massage my boobs like there are truly a million ways to be in touch with your body. so no tv, no music unless it’s adding to your mood, and understanding that this is time for you to enjoy helps a lot.

hope this helps ily