#winn has things to do

[dreamerdrop]

Dukat becomes worse the more pitiful he is. Winn becomes more pitiful the worse she gets.

Dukat has these moments where you could almost feel sorry for him, but he just doubles down on how horrible he is in a way that makes you forget that moment of pity because he genuinely and sincerely does not think he’s done anything wrong, ever.

Winn has moments where she seems to be weilding her cruelty like armor, but then has a moment of vulnerability and doubt that make you realise you can’t quite hate her, you just feel sorry for her instead, because some part of her seems to know she’s going down a bad path but she is so terrified she can’t make herself turn back.

Their character arcs look similar on a surface level but are very, very different trajectories.

[deeplovelydark]

kai winnnnnnnn. adami. her ivan karamazov salieri from amadeus slay. she wants to believe in the prophets. she *does* believe in them. but there is always something missing. she can't feel their presence. can't feel their love the way others say they do. they don't talk to her. she has great ambition and it might've helped her to serve them but they (as she sees it) rejected her. she did fight for her people. she did help them in many ways. but she never got the recognition she wanted from the prophets. their gratitude. love. not in a way she'd understand. because she doesn't understand her failings. so now she will take the power she always wanted where she can get it

[joshuaalbert]

another thing I do wish had at least come up in ds9 while talking about the bajoran faith is the idea of just like. secular bajorans. I think the way they’re written that’s kind of ‘everyone just believes in the religion and that’s it’ is honestly a little flat? but I think there would be people who have a very complicated relationship with the prophets, who maybe didn’t believe in them before the events of the show and now maybe they have to but they think of them more as the wormhole aliens rather than gods, or just don’t believe (anymore, if they once did) that they should be worshipped because they allowed the events of the occupation to happen. but that wouldn’t mean entirely disengaging from the practices of religion as a community thing, or as comfort in times of need bc sometimes that sense of ritual can be a good one, who still wear the earring not so much as a sign of faith but just as a sign of being bajoran and being connected to their people.

idk not to sound like I’m overexplaining secular approaches to an ethnoreligion when that’s a lot of people’s lived experience but I’m just kind of thinking about what it would look like in this context, and I don’t know that it ever would have been a whole plotline but I think a mention could have been interesting. maybe something as small as rearranging duty schedules and it’s something that would interfere with religious services, but a couple specific bajorans are willing to take that because they’re not religious, and it’s a one line mention (which is the kind of thing ds9 often did well so it would feel natural), but it makes them a little less homogenous as a species.

[wilwheaton]

relevant deep space nine

KIRA: That's part of it. This is about the future of Bajor. I can't shake the feeling that giving Winn control of the government is a mistake and she should be stopped. ODO: Stopped from doing what? KIRA: I don't know. Maybe, maybe I'm afraid that if she's given power, she's never going to let go. ODO: Unfortunately that suspicion is not shared by the people of Bajor. They still admire her as the woman who made peace with Cardassia. KIRA: Bareil made peace with Cardassia. ODO: I know that, Major. But to the rest of Bajor, Winn is the real hero. In their eyes it took courage for her to conclude a treaty with a race that she herself had so bitterly condemned and fought against. KIRA: I don't care what her popular image is. She is no hero. The only thing that she cares about is her own power. Why can't people see that? We spent so many years fighting the Cardassians. We spent so much time hoping and praying for a Bajor that was free. Now that we won, how can people just hand their freedom over to someone like Winn? ODO: It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice.

[efy727]

So, before the show's season finale, I was thinking of posting new designs for Dev, hopping he will get to keep Peri and redeem himself. I'm not very knowledgeable in fashion, but I just love coming up with new outfits for characters, especially when there's story significance.

In this case, Dev's current design is very similar to his awful dad, so of course him wearing something else is to distance himself. An as you can see, I also adopted the theory of his hair being naturally curly, though I admit I don't have much experience drawing different hair textures.

Ramble below.

I also made a few references to other media I like. The Red Son one was a no-brainer, they are both voiced by Kyle McCarley. They are also looking for parental approval, are good handling technology (not to the same degree) and are red heads. I wasn't sure if adding the ponytail or not.

The Asriel one is actually inspired by a piece of fanart someone else made, where Dev was dressed as Chara instead. Why? I kind of have been drawing comparisons Ariel/Flowey's fate in the True Pacifist ending and Dev in the end of the first season. Both did awful things (not to the same degree), but then undid it knowing they will end up alone due to someone else showing they care for them.

No one knows what Flowey/Asriel did but him, Frisk and the player; while everyone that saw it knows what Dev did but himself (or so it seems) and his dad.

For the serious designs, I wanted the outfits to convey Dev's affinity for technology, but without the sanitized look of his first season appearance, aka less white. I also wanted to do something different from Hazel, Winn and Jasmine. I wasn't sure if just changing the color of the hoodie, but I thought of the turtleneck shirt he wears.

I also removed the boots, for obvious reasons. I'm not good at keeping characters height consistent, so I'm not sure how tall he'll stand next to the others.

I emphasized yellow as his color in a good deal of the fits. I essentially just changed the amount of color his design has. I think yellow could go well, it's complementary with Peri's purples. Is close but different from white. I saw the swap AU where he and Hazel where fairies and I liked the designs.

And there's certain character significance, I want to explain with another comic. I just like this electric lemon hue

I also put an edgier design in the corner for a potential scenario and added an "Assistant" Peri design that I mentioned in my previous post.

[roseyodditea]

You're Back - Wriothesley x gn!Reader

Summary -> 1k words. Wriothesley missed you. Very soft Wriothesley! Warnings -> None A/N -> My husband has been let out of jail!!! Life has meaning again!

Oh you’d never thought you’d miss this place, but for some reason the stale air filling your lungs filled you with a sense of comfort you had longed for this past month. A past month spent in Sumeru, talking to some of the most intelligent scholars in Teyvat, learning of ways you could improve the efficiency of the production zone of the Fortress of Meropide. You counted six things on the way back to your private room that needed to be fixed. Apparently this rust bucket falls apart while it’s head engineer is gone. You’d have to lecture your mechanics tomorrow.

You set down your backpack, opening your notebook and watching the notes and sketches from your trip spill out onto your desk. Your drive to create and repair had been repaired by your month long research trip, and it was good to be back. But all of this was an issue for tomorrow. Your travels were long and you were tired. You sink into the comfortable chair by the radiator, closing your eyes as the warm heat seeps into your body. Your eyes were closed when the sound of a knock on your door roused you from your relaxed state. 

“The Duke would like to see you!” Sigewinee’s small voice greets you. “Tell him I’m not back yet!” You shout back through the door. 

“The guards already reported to him, he knows your back.” SIgewinne started. “I’d like to see you for your checkup before you begin work tomorrow.” “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get to it, Winne…” You sigh as you open the door, starting to walk alongside the melusine. “Did he say what he wanted?” Sigewinne shook her head. “I imagine he wants to ask about your trip. Although I will warn you, he’s been rather moody this month.” “When is he not moody?” You scoff and wave as you turn down a different corridor from her. 

You walk across the path to the giant doors, swinging them open and walking up the staircase. “Hey, Boss.”

Wriothesley looks up from the prisoner files he was flipping through, heavy bags under his eyes. “Welcome back.” His voice held an unmistakable warmness.

“Missed me?” You start the kettle in the corner of his office, knowing you’d be staying for tea. You flip through the box of tea varieties, picking something with no caffeine, hoping to get to sleep at a reasonable time. You flip through the sweeteners, still waiting for a response from the man, when instead you feel arms wrap around your waist, a chin resting on the top of your head. “Oh you really missed me.” “I did.” He confesses like it sat uncomfortably on his chest. 

“Are you… dying?” You try to look up, but the weight of his head makes it uncomfortable. 

“Not that I’m aware of. Just… been a while since I’ve seen you. I’ve missed your company.” He stays still, unsure of what to do now that he has you. He only loosens his grip so you can turn around and return the hug, more used to affection than he is. 

“I’ve missed you too, Wriothesley.” Your voice was soft, unable to hide back the affection. “Give me three days. You’ll want to kill me again in no time.” His shoulders shake with a chuckle as he moves his head to your shoulder. “You think it’ll take three whole days?”

“You’re right. Give me until the end of tomorrow.” You make no move to let go of him until the kettle finishes, fixing up two cups of tea and moving to his desk.

“I’m done with work tonight.” Wriothesley’s voice was gentle as he led you to the couch in his office, both of you relaxing against the cushions. “Glad to be back?”

You thought about it for a moment. You were currently in an underwater fortress, miles from the Court of Fontaine, outside contact to the world limited, imported food limited, and the entire fortress had this dank, slightly rusty smell. Then you looked to the man sitting next to you, the man who had picked up the soul of the fortress in his years of living down here, the man that carried the terrifying reputation of the fortress on his back. A smile cracked across your face and you let your head fall to his shoulder. “Yeah… I am.” He awkwardly runs his finger over the rim of his cup of tea, gently moving his arm to drape across your shoulders. “I’m glad you’re back too.”

**********

Your tea sat on the table, having gone cold hours ago. The conversation had stretched out way longer than either of you had intended, the fortress now quiet in the late night. Wriothesley finally let out a breath, having been holding uncomfortably still for the past thirty minutes you had been asleep. He needed to go to bed himself, unable to sit with you any longer. He let out a sigh before shifting you as a test, and once he realized you were fast asleep he scooped you up in his arms, walking silently through the quiet fortress. 

You only stirred awake when he set you down on the bed, the feeling of your blanket being draped across your shoulders filling you with comfort. He noticed you were awake and he smiled gently, making sure you were comfortable. 

“Goodnight, (y/n).” “What, no forehead kiss?” You chuckle as he rolls his eyes.

“You’re a grown ass adult.” “A grown ass adult you just tucked in without a forehead kiss goodnight.” He sighs and leans down, his chapped lips pressing against your forehead. The second he tried to pull away you cup his cheek, sitting up a bit to meet his lips halfway in a quick kiss that said more than words ever could.

“Goodnight, Wriothesley.”

I have his C3 right now and 430 something wishes. I WILL get his C6. He WILL be my first limited C6

[cholondry]

So, I recently watched the pilot for "The art of murder", an indie animated murder mystery show that just released it's pilot, and I have a theory on who did it. (Also if you haven't already: please watch the video, it is really amazing)

First off, I'm going to rule out Pip herself. I know it would be the easy anwer, but she didn't rip out the page the first night. This leads me to believe that she would not do it the second night either. Also, which artist rips out a page and leaves it so messy that you see where it was?

Now let's go to a round of motive, opportunity and will. We know that everyone has a motive, so we can't cross off anyone that way. And based on the evidence so far, anyone could have had the opportunity by waking up first. But who is the one that is the most determined and strong-willed, actually going through with it?

In my opinion, it's Albie. The first thing suspicious about her is that she isn't covered in anything after waking up, despite Winn and Sousuke being stained. She was on the same page as Winn and when opened, the sketchbook shows both Albie and Sousuke. When Winn got covered in water, the liquid could have gone through the pages and soaked her as well. If the book was open normally, there would be a high possibility that the mud that got on Sousuke could have hit Albie as well. But she's completely clean, leading me to believe that she was outside of the book when both staining incidents happened. Georgio was on a whole different page, so it makes sense that he stayed clean.

Then we have her willpower. We already know that Albie is very determined in her goals of entrepreneurship and that she is'nt and doesn't want to be a damsel in distress. If she really feared for her existence, she is the one that is really going to do whatever she thinks is necessary. But interestingly, after they discover the missing page, she says that she can't be a murderer, and that princesses are more likely to be killed. And this despite her prior attempts to clearly differentiate herself from other princesses and highlight her strength and independence.

Then there are the visual and behavioural clues.

When they were only meeting OC, she was already looking wary in the background. She doesn't smile and you can't see her eyes, meanwhile everyone around her is in an upbeat mood. She could have already realised by then what OC's existence could mean for her. Furthermore, Albie calls him "Not a real character", which sounds really suspicious, as OC clearly has personality traits and "character" is literally in his name. It could be nothing, but it does sound suspicious.

Then there is how involved she is in the investigation. She draws the conclusion, that the first to wake up would be the prime suspect. And when Georgio is about to investigate, she tries to say something about it. Everyone is involved in the case, but she is actively participating in the investigation process, which could be because she's nervous or tries to throw Georgio off. The other characters (outside of the literal detective) aren't as involved as Albie, so her behaviour sticks out.

Then there is the biggest clue so far: The dog was somehow involved, and the mud from his paws can be found on Sousuke. I can't make much sense of it currently, but it circles back to Albie somehow being clean when her page neighbours aren't.

But that's just a theory from someone who's currently watching too many detective shows.

[darlingkaveh]

can i make a request?

aventurine with insistent reader who straight up doesn't understand his attempts to push them away. who just straight up doesn't care. ride or die type of thing.

of course! my first request ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ ty anon ! and for u others out there, feel free to ask, too. check out my request info on my pinned

anyway, since you didn’t specify what gender the reader is, anon, i’ll just do gn and give ‘em an interesting personality, ‘cause i think aventurine deserves that kinda love. hope u don’t mind!

synopsis: aventurine has been avoiding you, as of late - and you’re set on trying to find out why. (ig this is angst? hurt/comfort, maybe…it’s not flat out depressing or anything, it’s just kind of sad when you think about it lol). pairing: aventurine x gn!reader tw: alcohol consumption, intoxication (nothing happens)

𝘾𝘼𝙇𝘾𝙐𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙀𝘿 𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙆𝙎

Aventurine was an interesting man. Truthfully, he puzzled you. You had met him through Ratio, who some might call an enigma - but to you, the doctor was light years easier to understand. He was calculated. The numbers behind his every move spoke to you.

The gambler, on the other hand, was a cacophony. A jumble of pitches that melted together into a song few could comprehend. And to you, that was a delight. A challenge. One much needed, to soothe your restless mind.

Perhaps that was why he seemed to dislike you.

Aventurine was not fond of that look in your eyes - the one that said you understood him. Or, at the very least, were beginning to. He was meant to be the one reading others, not the other way around. Simply put, it was unnerving how you took note of his every move, and seemed to use it against him.

It wasn’t as though he hated you. No, that was…that was far too strong a word. He was disinterested in being your friend. Yes, that was better. You were a nice enough person. You were sharp, kind, charming…all things that made you dangerous.

You had been friends, at first. But he had underestimated you - and had let you close. Too close.

“Haha! A straight flush.”

His opponent - a wiry man, with a weaselly face - crossed his arms in triumph after spreading out his hand. “Let’s see you beat that.”

Aventurine’s lips quirked.

“Yes, let’s.” He set down his own hand, revealing a royal flush. He smiled as he took his pile of chips, to the dismay of the man. His eyes tracked the weaselly man as he was dragged away by his peers, kicking and shouting. “Well, that was fun,” he chuckled, crossing his legs. He draped an arm over the edge of his seat, his head lolling back. “Anyone else care to challenge me?”

“I would.”

Something cold shot up his spine as your voice touched his ears, a tad too close for comfort, and he sat up, suddenly on edge. His lips rose in their usual fashion, though his smile was tight as he watched you take a seat across from him.

“…Ah,” he mused, “Ratio’s acquaintance. A pleasure to see you.”

“Isn’t it?” You kept your eyes on his hands as he began to shuffle the cards. “Its been a while, Aventurine, yet I see you haven’t changed in the slightest.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, my friend.” He watched as you slid forward a large stack of chips - your starting bet. Anyone else who dared to place that much money into the pot, in front of his face, he would’ve called foolish.

He waved over an acquaintance, to act as the dealer. “Let us begin, then.”

“Let us.”

The cards were passed out. He glanced at his hand. It was good. Not that he had expected anything less, but it suddenly felt like a lifeline.

“Call.” He slid forward a stack of chips that matched yours. It was fine. He could afford to lose this much.

“Raise.” Your expression was unchanging as you offered more chips. He could feel his jaw twitch.

“Fold,” he gritted out.

“Not going overboard tonight?” You arched a brow. “How frugal.”

He forced himself to laugh. “Lady Luck might smile upon me, but I would rather not exhaust her goodwill.”

“A smart choice.”

He played through a few turns with you, narrowly winning. His hands trembled slightly as he reached out, taking his share.

“Well,” he mumbled, “good game.”

“Quite.” Your eyes glinted under the warm lighting of the bar. “Again?”

“Ah…” he chuckled nervously, “I think not. I’m a bit tired, you see.”

“Of course.” A hint of a smile touched your lips. “A drink, then?”

He couldn’t exactly refuse.

“Why not?”

He nodded at the bartender as he was given a glass of whiskey. The golden liquid slid down his throat easily, burning as it went down. It untangled his nerves, and loosened his tongue.

“So.” You leaned forward. “How’ve you been, Aventurine?”

His eyes met yours. “As well as I can be, I suppose.”

“Busy?”

“No.” He downed another glass.

“Then why’ve you been avoiding me?”

He paused.

“Avoiding you?” He glanced off to the side, feigning ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Don’t you?”

His tongue ran over his lips. “I suppose I do.”

“So?”

“Mm…” his leg started to bounce. “You make me nervous.”

Your expression contorted, before you laughed. “Me? Why?”

“You’re too smart.” The bartender offered him another glass, but this time, he refused. His vision was already blurring. “I don’t like it.”

“Ratio’s smart, too. You don’t avoid him.”

“You’re…” his lips pursed. “Different.”

“Hah.” You tilted your head at him. “And there’s nothing I can do to help you relax?”

Aventurine huffed. “No. Nothing.”

A thoughtful expression took over your face. “We’ll see.” Still, you rose. “Alright, then, I suppose we should go, no? You seem like you’d want to.”

“Yep.” He stood up, stumbling a little - not expecting his body to feel like lead. You grabbed his arm, helping him up. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He leaned on you as you walked him home, head spinning. When was the last time he had gotten so intoxicated? The amount of glasses he had drank had blurred together, honestly.

He couldn’t believe he was in this situation now. Relying on you, of all people. The one he trusted the least. This was dangerous. This was bad. In this state, he was powerless to stop you from whatever you wanted to do. You could -

“Hey, relax, you’re okay.” Your hand brushed past his head in a gentle manner, startling him. “You’re in your room.”

He blinked dazedly, eyes adjusting to the darkness in the room. Oh. He was home. In his bed. He was…okay.

God, was he tired.

You rubbed his shoulder, humming a soft melody.

Before he knew it, he was lulled to sleep.

fin. not my best work, but i was eager to get this out there. aventurine’s an interesting fella, though i ain’t the best at writing him :’) if there’s anything i misinterpreted, anon, feel free to let me know! lmk what y’all thought.

requests are open.

[picturejasper20]

Any thoughts on the New Wish finale?

It was.... (sigh) something

There are some things that really nails and funny moments but it feels it should have been something that should have been longer? There are emotional beats that feel like they should have lasted more to have a proper pay off.

For me the biggest issue i have is that Dev and Hazel barely interact in this finale. After their relationship being like the main core of this season and what moved the arcs, we barely get any of that in here.

When i saw the episode title card i thought this episode was going to be about their fight and what has been happening between them, but no, they only get very few interactions in the actual episode.

Another issue i have is that i feel like Dev was made out to be too cruel in a way in this episode? It is fine to turn him into a villain but some of the things he does feel way too extreme for what we have seen of his character so far. He even ends up trapping Peri on a cage for days?? It feels too extreme for someone who just like was throwing tamptrums and wanted to just annoy Hazel and make her miserable some segments ago.

One thing i do like is the scene that Wanda hears Dev complaining about Dale not paying him attention not matter what he does. Wanda explains to Dev about it is dangerous for fairies to not use their magic for too long.

Then Peri telling Dev that he cares about him and Dev breaks down in tears, finally realizing that what he was looking for he could find it in Peri or other people. He throws the key and just goes to another room. He sounds so defeated in tha moment.

I do like the different characters that we saw in the season helping Hazel to take back Fairy World. That was a good use of continuity. The scene Hazel tells to her friends and Anthony about how she has godparents and them being unfaced by it is pretty funny.

Dev and Irep do have some good scenes in the episode. They have a fun dynamic and i wish we could seen more of that in this season. They are a good villain duo.

For me the episode drops the ball in the last minutes... Hazel and Dev have a short conversation, which is cute but feels not enough with what they have been through in the season.

Dev loses Peri and loses his memories about fairies as result.... what does that mean then? He is only going to remember certain things? What about the lesson he got from this episode? Is it going to stay with him. It is underwhelming because it doesn't give us any further hints of what really happened to him.

On last point, i do like the idea of more people knowing about fairies besides Hazel. I think that now that Jasmine, Winn and Anthony know about it, it could lead to some interesting scenarios for the characters.

Outside of that it is a rather underwhelming season 1 finale that leaves things open for second season, ending a somewhat of cliffhanger that left a lot of fans with bad taste in their mouths.

[fazedlight]

Asynchronous (Rift era, pre-Crisis, not nearly as much sc angst as the gif implies)

Where am I?, Kara thought, her body shaking as she pushed herself off the floor she had apparently crashed into, trying to stand. How long was I unconscious?

Her head was killing her. Pain was a rarity under a yellow sun, and in this case the feeling was hard to shake - it was just all too reminiscent of not long ago, when she was trapped in kryptonite, fighting burning lungs and a blinding headache while fighting heartbreak at the same time.

But she needed to not think about Lena right now.

Kara searched her mind for the last thing she remembered, Brainy’s words transmitted to her ears, telling her about the capabilities of the alien creature she was fighting. The creature was generally docile enough - but in a panic, it would thrash and quake, and it had the unique ability to…

Where… When am I?, Kara thought, looking around at the building whose ceiling she had fallen into. The creature could send her anywhere in time and space - forward or back in time, across the planet or galaxy, it didn’t matter. The good news is that the effect would be temporary in nature, lasting a day at most, before she snapped back into place, something about attenuated vibrations. “Time is like a rubber band,” Brainy had said, though Kara was certain she could hear pain in his attempt to simplify the explanation.

Kara heard the buzz of a portal behind her, the quick cock of a gun. “Don’t move,” came the familiar voice. “These aren’t ordinary bullets.”

Kara turned slowly, deflating under the hard eyes of her ex-best-friend. Lena was tense and angry, her finger resting on the trigger, her other hand on a tracking device. My heat signature, Kara thought, Guess she has kryptonite bullets now.

Lena’s eyes narrowed as she reached to her belt, before tossing vibrant green cuffs in Kara’s direction. “Put those on.”

Kara lowered herself to the floor, taking the cuffs, feeling the burn in her hands. She couldn’t really fathom Lena trying to kill her. But after the disruption of Lena’s Myriad plan, and now being held at gunpoint… “Lena, what are - what are you going to do?”

“How do you know my name?” Lena growled.

Kara’s eyes widened. Anywhere in time and space… “Who do you think I am?” Kara asked.

“Is that a joke?” Lena asked, as Kara’s mind revved into overdrive. “You think you can come back, with cartoonish S on your chest, and we’ll forget the Third Reich?”

Fear sank into Kara’s stomach. Earth X. “Lena, I know this looks like-”

“Through the portal. Now.”

-----------

Kara found herself sitting in an interrogation room. 

Her mind was scrambling for what Barry had said had become of Earth X - she remembered that, in the aftermath, the Third Reich had fallen to the Resistance, which was trying to rebuild a non-fascist society. But she knew the balance had to be fragile. The Reich had its proponents.

But Kara didn’t have long to think, before another familiar face walked into the room. “Winn!” Kara said, jumping up.

“Sit down,” Winn growled back.

Kara tensed, shaking off her confusion as she slowly sank to her chair, as Winn gave Lena a skeptical look. Right, he’s not the Winn I know either…

Lena shrugged. “She knew my name, too.”

“You’re both my friends,” Kara said softly, “On my Earth.”

Winn ignored her words, stepping around the table to take a seat at its corner. “We need to know if the Führer is still alive.”

“He’s dead,” Kara said, meeting Winn’s eyes. “As is his wife.”

Winn’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I was sent here by accident,” Kara answered. “At some point in the next day or so, I’ll snap back to my own Earth.” If you don’t kill me first, she thought.

“And how do I know you’re from another Earth?” Winn demanded.

“You met my sister,” Kara whispered, thinking back to Alex’s stories when they were separated on Earth X, years ago. “Alex Danvers. On my Earth, she’s your friend too.”

“You,” Winn said skeptically. “I’m friends with you.”

“I’m not from your Earth,” Kara said. “I’m not asking you to trust me. Just let me live long enough to go back to my own time.”

-----------

Kara fidgeted as she sat alone in the room again - watching, waiting, itching against the bounds of her kryptonite cuffs. 

She was certain that Winn and Lena - possibly others - were debating what to do with her. Hopefully they don't just kill me, Kara thought, searching her mind for how she might prove she’s not from their Earth.

But the door opened again.

Lena stepped in quietly, eyes on Kara. But the anger was subdued from before. She was curious. “Lena,” Kara whispered.

The wariness wasn’t gone from Lena’s stance, but she sat across from Kara. “What’s it like, on your Earth?”

Kara smiled. My Lena would be curious about the other Earths too, she thought. “The Third Reich ended in 1945. We’re… far from a perfect world. But we haven’t had the struggle that you’ve had.”

“And you and I are friends?”

Kara’s expression faltered, as she glanced down at her hands. “We used to be. We used to be best friends.”

“What happened?”

Kara bit at her lip, unable to look Lena in the eye. “I betrayed you. You hate me now.”

Lena’s brows furrowed. “That doesn’t seem to be the sort of thing that would help your cause.”

“I’m not going to lie to you again,” Kara said. “I’ve done too much of that. The other you, I mean.”

Lena frowned, and Kara could see some of the tension in her body rise again. “What happened to my Earth’s Kara? How did she die?”

“Her heart was dying from too much solar exposure,” Kara said. “I took her up into the atmosphere before her body… it started a nuclear reaction.”

“And the Führer?”

“Oliver from another Earth killed him.”

Lena’s eyebrows briefly raised. “Winn met him, apparently.”

“Yeah. My sister was there too.”

-----------

Kara itched at her bonds again, wishing there was a clock she could check. I don’t know how much time would be left anyway, she thought to herself. But at least I’d know…

She was surprised to hear the door open again. Lena walked through with a cup and some bread, placing both in front of Kara on the table. “You must be hungry,” she said.

“Thank you,” Kara murmured, leaning forward and beginning to eat.

“What did you lie to me about?” Lena asked. “On your Earth?”

Kara swallowed harshly. “I- I kept my kryptonian identity from you. Kryptonians and Luthors don’t get along.”

“Luthors?”

Kara’s brow crinkled. “Are you a Walsh, here?”

Lena nodded slowly. 

“Your mother…” Kara asked. “She’s alive?”

Lena’s eyes narrowed. “Yes.”

Kara smiled. She got to be raised by Elizabeth, she thought. “Are the Luthors alive? On this Earth?”

“No,” Lena said. “Alexander Luthor was the last Führer, before Oliver Queen. There was a power struggle.”

Kara nodded. “You were raised by the Luthors. On my Earth. So when I hid my identity, and became friends with you… you didn’t take it well when you found out.”

Lena looked on curiously. “The secret? Drove me to hate you?”

Kara shook her head. “There were other mistakes I made. In the aftermath. I… hurt you pretty badly.”

“So what did I do next?”

“You tried to brainwash the world.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“To make everyone kind.”

Lena’s brow raised. I guess that resonates, Kara thought. In a world full of fascists… 

“I can see the appeal,” Lena said. 

-----------

Kara was fascinated. And bored.

Her only company was Lena, on and off. She was grateful when Lena came in with food, and over the moon when Lena came in to exchange Kara’s kryptonite cuffs with far less painful power cuffs. 

But her moments with Lena were few and far between given her apparent other responsibilities, leaving Kara staring up at the ceiling for long stretches of time.

She found herself torn, thoughts of “When will I be able to go home?” warring with “I hope my Lena looks at me like that again someday.”

-----------

“Are you happy here?” Kara asked. “Are you- are you with anyone?” Lena smiled. “I met him a year ago,” she said. “We butted heads on technical projects. Trying to rebuild our society’s infrastructure. But something more came of it.”

Kara smiled. “Jack?”

Lena’s eyes widened, and she nodded. “Jack.”

Kara nodded too. “I’m glad you have someone.”

Lena tilted her head curiously. “Were we more than friends?”

“You and Jack? Yeah, on my Earth-”

“No,” Lena clarified. “You and I. What were we to each other?”

Oh. “No,” Kara said, shifting uncomfortably. “We were only ever friends.”

“Is that all you wanted?”

“I just- don’t think it’s relevant to you-”

“I don’t know what I’m like on your Earth,” Lena said, leaning forward on her arms. “But if someone hurt me so badly that I try to brainwash the world about it, I think that person must’ve meant something to me.”

Kara bit her lip.

Lena’s brow quirked. “If your plan is to never lie to me again, that seems like the sort of thing you should tell me. Other me.”

Kara laughed, her heart twinging with joy and pain. “If we ever get along again, I’ll tell you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

-----------

“Why are you trusting me?” Kara asked curiously.

“What do you mean?” Lena asked, in a tone that was more coy than confused.

“You just seem less suspicious of me than before,” Kara shrugged. “In the beginning.”

Lena’s lips quirked, taking a moment to consider Kara. She then raised her hand, twisting it slightly, causing a small yellow glow to appear. Kara noted in shock that there seemed to be a glow passing over her own body, too. “What’s happen- what are you doing?”

“Just making your temporal shift visible,” Lena said. “I scanned you after our first meeting. I can’t prove you’re not from this Earth, but I can prove that you’re not where the universe expects you to be right now.”

“I’m sorry, but-” Kara sputtered. “But are you using magic?”

“Lena doesn’t have magic on your Earth?” Lena said.

“I can’t even get my Lena to believe in magic,” Kara said with a laugh. “Rao, this is amazing.”

Kara glanced up, and found Lena smiling.

-----------

“How long have I been here?” Kara asked.

“About 12 hours,” Lena said. “Honestly, I’d let you go. But Winn said it might cause a panic anyway, if too many people see you walking around.”

Kara sat back for a moment. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

-----------

It was at the 17 hour mark - just after Lena had brought in more food - that Kara’s hands began to glow. “What are you doing now?” Kara asked.

“Nothing,” Lena said, leaning forward to eye the glow. “I think you’re being pulled back.”

“Oh,” Kara said, glancing up at the alternate Lena. What should I say? “Thank you,” Kara murmured. “Thanks for being good company.”

“Give me time,” Lena said gently.

“Time?”

“I’ll come to my senses,” Lena said, thinking to herself, nodding. “I- I know there’s baggage. But at some point, I will come to my senses. I’ll come back to you.”

Kara smiled. “I hope so.”

“Good luck, Kara Zor-El.”

-----------

Kara found herself falling. No longer cuffed, no longer in a dark dusty room - but bathed in sunlight and breathing fresh air. Earth-38, she thought gratefully.

She blinked, shooting upwards in the sky again, hearing shouting in her ear. “Kara?” came Brainy’s panicked voice. “Kara, are you still there?”

“I’m here,” Kara gasped, looking over National City. 

“Must’ve lost you for a minute,” Brainy said. “The creature is by the arboretum. We’ve finished making the power net, J’onn is flying it over.”

Kara glanced to the north, but her ears were fixating somewhere southeast, locating a familiar heartbeat. We’ll figure it out, Kara thought, clinging to Earth X Lena’s words.

We’ll get there, in the end. “I’m on my way.”

[unknownbard]

Supercorp fic idea based on "no body, no crime" by Taylor Swift

Lena and Sam have their weekly diner, Sam gets entirely too sloshed on Lena's fancy wine and confesses that she thinks Ruby's father has been cheating on her, its driving her insane and she can't sleep. Lena is fucking livid bc how dare he??? Sam's a fucking catch. Tall, hot, mouth like a trucker, but that makes up her charm.

Sam says she can't prove it but she knows something's wrong

Lena totally doesn't bully her intern at LCorp, Winn Schott, to hack into Sam's husband's accounts and she finds some interesting things like how the mistress is, in fact, Andreas Rojas, and that they'd been laundering money from her business together (to what purpose? idk man, shady shit).

Lena brings all this evidence to the police, she's put into contact with Detective Kara Danvers. Kara automatically thinks it's fake because Andrea and Lena are corporate rivals and so Lena's like fine asshole, I'll do your job myself. She loads her revolver, flicks the the barrel into place and interrogates Sam's husband (do we even know his name???), anyways it goes poorly and he reports Lena. Kara shows up at her door the day after "I really didn't think when you said you were gonna do my job, that you were actually being serious." "A Luthor's words shouldn't be taken lightly, Miss Danvers." "What the hell were you thinking?? Intimidating a key witness in an on-going investigation?" "I thought there was no case, Detective?" it's 2PM but Lena pours herself a scotch on the rocks. Kara removes her suit jacket and loosens her tie as they go over case notes and Lena's like damn she kinda fine but blames it on the scotch cause she's still annoyed she got unjustly pegged as a corporate shark.

Ruby is kidnapped, but its the husband who turns up dead.

Sam confesses to Lena she's the one who killed him, Lena tells her bet ima take care of the body. Disposes of it in a lake like fucking Dexter Morgan. She's too good at covering up the crime, and leads Kara astray to protect Sam.

When Sam's interogated Lena swears she was with her.

[everlastingdream]

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

"I don't exactly know either. I was just able to do it one day, and your technologies are not exactly suited to study my changes", Kara shrugged. Now that her secret was out there, she lamented her lost dinner.

"Interesting..." ghost lady said, walking to the couch just to stop in the middle of the room. "Do you manipulate gravity to fly?"

"That is... a very good question actually. I don't think I manipulate Earth's gravity. More like I change my own. And what with the interrogation?"

"Ah, sorry. I couldn't talk with anyone for quite a while. It was boring, to say the least."

Kara felt pang of guilt. Being isolated from everyone and everything, without even knowing who you, are sounded more than horrible. It sounded like the worst nightmare...

But woman was cheerful and curious. So Kara made the obvious choice: she decided to help her.

"Do you want me to help you find out who you were?"

Woman froze, slowly turning around to look at Kara once more.

"Do you really mean it?" she whispered, sudenly looking very fragile. Kara smiled.

"Of course! Since you know that I'm Supergirl, it means you are basically part of Superfriends! We'll found out in no time!"

"Superfriends, huh?" Ghost tentatively smiled back. "Sounds good".

/ / / / / / / / /

"Sooo... do you have any clues yet?" Kara asked while they were flying next morning. They found out that the ghost lady didn't have trouble getting out of the apartment and with some manuvering she was able to follow Kara's flying.

Also she vehemently refused using random name for their convenience. Kara was surprised at her stubborness but then thought about her surname and how sometimes she felt like it was dissappearing and understood it a bit more.

"Well, looking at my clothes I don't think I died a long time ago. And it seems like I had some money".

"Well, it's a start, I guess. We have access to many records, so it should be possible to find you".

"Say, Kara, am I transperent to you? Or you see me completely?"

Kara paused, glancing at the woman beside her. She wasn't transperent at all. And it was somehow a problem in its own right.

"I can see you very clearly", Kara coughed, trying to look if they were near DEO yet. "I will describe you to my sister and she'll help, don't worry".

They spent the rest of the trip in comfortable silence.

/ / / / / / / / /

"Let me get this straight: you are seeing a ghost we spent hours trying to find yesterday, you promised to help her, and she knows you are Supergirl. Am I right?" Alex asked, massaging her nose bridge.

"Yep, sounds about right". Alex looked really pained in the face of her sunny smile.

"Sure, why not. It's not the most bizzare thing that happened with us anyway. Let's try to give your new ghost friend some closure. Wait when Winn learns about it".

Alex opened some kind of search bar, waiting. She looked ruffled and tired, but determined.

"We know it happened not long ago, maybe about month or so, we think", Kara looked at woman and they gave each other the nod. Ghost lady said that despite not knowing her name she retained some common knowledge. And 'it's a limited collection jacket, Kara, they were sold couple of months ago'.

"We think, huh?" Alex raised her brow, but diligently entered time frame.

"Also she is pretty well-off, has black hair and emerald eyes". Woman's image flickered couple of times which Kara understood was out of embarrassment. She didn't lie about seeing her clearly and there was definitely a blush on her cheeks. Alex scowled.

"Just green would be enough, thank you", she typed information in on her tablet. "Anything else you wanna share?"

"I have a piercing in the navel", her new ghost friend whispered right into Kara's ear in a low tone.

"Nope!" Kara squeeked to her sister, casting offended glances at the very smug looking ghost. Woman tapped at her cheek, and Kara refused to aknowledge her own red face. "We will take a look first like that".

"It's good I can't see her". Alex sighed and turned to the big screen. "Tell me if something catches your eye".

All three of them looked closely at the incident reports. Dozens of victims was displayed before their eyes - Kara's forever reminder that she can't save everyone.

"Right there!" Woman screamed, rushing closer.

"Alex! She found it!" Kara stopped her sister.

"I'll rewind it but are you sure? It's non-fatal reports. And more then that..."

"Kara, look!" her ghost friend was glued to the screen with the happy smile that wholly reached her eyes. "It's me! That's my name!"

Under her palm words glowed.

Lena Luthor

[ravenclawerised]

Rewatching DS9 again and I am just so interested at how an average Bajoran would view Kira by the end of the series. How an average Cardassian would? We know that a lot of what she does is known to the Bajoran people. Shakaar mentions Furel and Lupaza bragging about her whenever they get news of the station. But lets actually take a look at this:

She is the highest ranking Bajoran on DS9 outranked only by the Emissary

Most times Sisko did anything in the capacity as the Emissary, Kira was one step behind and to the right

She was with Kai Opaka, the most widely loved and respected Bajoran, when she made her journey through the Celestial Temple and “answered the call of the prophets”

She was highly respected (and loved) by Vedek Bareil who was hugely popular on Bajor (he could very well have been Kai if he hadn’t taken the blame for Kai Opaka’s actions during the Occupation)

She and Kai Winn had a well known feud and after Kai Winn’s fall from grace at the end of the show, Kira must come out pretty great to everyone else

She is the one who found and saved the great Bajoran hero, Li Nalas, from a Cardassian work camp and then within a week saved Bajor from a civil war that had been encouraged by Cardassians.

Between her saving Li Nalas and his fellow prisoners AND finding the Ravinok and saving the Bajorans (and Cardassians and Ziyal) from the Breen mines, was she the person Bajorans turned to when searching for their lost love ones? Was she a symbol to those who kept looking for their loved ones because Kira Nerys found those thought to be lost?

She prevented ANOTHER Bajoran Civil War and helped elect Shakaar as the First Minister of Bajor. Again being associated with a widely loved and respected member of Bajoran society.

Kira was in charge of DS9 during Dominion Occupation and started up the station’s resistance cell

She was permitted to use the Orb of Time, one of Bajor’s most sacred objects

She was the chosen by a Prophet to be their vessel during the Reckoning with the Pah-Wraith...and the KAI was on the same station. But it was KIRA who was chosen

She plays chicken with a Romulan fleet...and wins!

She was a key figure in the Dominion War. She started as a resistance fighter who was assigned to a falling apart, unimportant old Cardassain station and becomes the Colonel of the single most important port in the Alpha Quadrant. She is the right hand of the Emissary. She is widely respected by many beloved figures in Bajoran society.

And this list is just the most public things that have happened to her. This doesn’t even take into account any of the stories about her that involve her dealing with whatever BS the Star Trek universe decides to throw at the characters that week. Klingons beam in and fight? Gets stabbed and keeps fighting. Emissary is transported to 2024? Kira is on the team that pulls him out.

By the end of season seven, do politicians on Bajor hold their breath or breathe a sigh of relief if Kira gets involved? Do Vedeks seek her out to ask her about being possessed by a prophet? About her experiences with the Orbs? About Kai Opaka’s last words? Do families still grieving those missing from the Occupation petition her to look for the lost?

And how about the Cardassians?

The Cardassian government would probably never publicly admit to any time she foiled their plans, but Tekeny Ghemor tells her that she has her own section in the Cardassian Central Archives and is a public figure on Cardassia

Would the Cardassians in the Breen mine whisper their thanks among their family that Kira Nerys found them?

Tekeny Ghemor, someone who was respected enough to be considered as the face for the Cardassian resistance against the Dominion controlled Cardassian puppet government, publicly considered her his daughter/family by asking her to participate in the Shri-tal ritual and give her all of his secrets prior to his death (something highly valued in Cardassian society)

She was a part of Damar’s resistance. She helped them fight the Dominion and was with Damar when he died for Cardassia. In the story of how Damar was martyred for Cardassia’s freedom from the Dominion, Kira Nerys, a Bajoran, is heavily featured.

In all Bajoran/Cardassian relations, do Cardassians seek to involve Kira as a woman of her word who will treat in good faith or do they cross their fingers and hope she is nowhere near their business?

Can you tell I think about Kira Nerys a lot?

[inamindfarfaraway]

Evidence that Hazel Wells is autistic:

She loves routine, needs it to feel secure and adjusts poorly to changes from what she knows and her plan, e.g. her stress from moving to a new city and school, struggling to form bonds with her classmates and not having her promised talk with Anthony driving her to run away and be miserable enough to qualify for fairy godparents; wanting to replicate her relationship with her brother with Jasmine; learning how to deal with them both having evolved when he visits; her gut instinct itself says that a tour meticulously structured in advance is her dream holiday and urges her to follow her godparents’ offered one of Fairy World

She has special interests in geology, horror movies, dinosaurs and Prime Meridian Love (and hats?), not just loving them intensely and expressing that through learning and sharing intimate knowledge of them, but using them to understand and navigate relationships, e.g. wanting to watch horror films with Jasmine because that’s her definition of a bonding activity from her routine with Antony; inviting her friends to a book club reading her manga as another bonding activity; wishing Kenueth to life to do a romantic-coded activity; naming her rocks, drawing faces on them and talking to them, possibly originating in a history of having few friends

Her fairies’ default object disguise form is a pair of fidget tools and their entire purpose is to give her what she wants

She frequently feels anxious and overthinks things, especially regarding social dynamics, e.g. her fear of Anthony forgetting about her while he’s away; getting overwhelmed by her peers in the cafeteria in “Teacher’s Pal”, fleeing and needing to steel herself simply to enter it at the end of the episode, not even planning to talk to anyone; being desperate to impress Winn and worrying that her home is inadequate for her standards, on a basis of nothing Winn has done; worrying that her geology presentation will be inadequate and wishing for a special stone; choosing to undergo countless time loops to try to avoid any embarrassment; worrying that an online quiz invalidates her close friendships

She nonetheless is said to be “mature” for her age in both “Fly” and “Teacher’s Pal” by Angela and herself

She has extremely high empathy despite not always easily understanding people, e.g. wishing to understand Dev; making selfless wishes on Founder’s Day whenever she sees unhappy kids; enabling Winn to experience their own interest in Patty Possum’s Party Playground the way they want and then empathizing with Patty about fearing abandonment and still loving people when they’re not around; continuing to be kind to Dev at the Dimmsonian and in “Best of Luck” after he twice reverts back to selfishness and malice and believes their friendship to be over; wishing for Marcus to get to be on a paranormal investigation TV show

She has a strong sense of justice, e.g. being so affected by learning about pollution that she starts a local environmentalist movement; vehemently opposing Dale’s corruption; rallying her friends to stand up to Vicky; angrily lashing out at Dev when she thinks or learns that he’s betrayed her

She can take things too literally or lack theory of mind, e.g. getting offended by Jasmine saying that she could dance alone “near” her partnered friends and holding that grudge for most of the episode; jumping to the conclusions that Dev is insulting her when he calls her “anomaly” and he was willingly, knowingly helping his father be evil; leaving him alone when he orders her to on his birthday rather than questioning if what he says he wants is what he actually wants or needs, since he’s clearly distraught and she knows that his issues revolve around abandonment, neglect and loneliness

She can disregard social norms when consumed by passion, e.g. interrupting the museum guide to share her own knowledge of dinosaurs and grabbing his microphone; infodumping about the plot of her manga in detail after Jasmine tells her not to; stealing Mr Guzman’s hat just because she likes it so much

She has emotional breakdowns that lead to drastic, bad decisions and could be read as meltdowns, e.g. packing a suitcase and running away; remorsefully attempting to sacrifice her life to restore potatoes to Earth

She loves official documents and finds the Department of Motor Vehicles relaxing for its rigid structure and monotony

She samefoods with chips/fries and other potato products, so passionate about them as to mention them when introducing herself to her classmates and have a whole episode dedicated to her wanting to eat only them; this is a notable choice because chips have a mild, neutral base flavour, are often standardized by producers like restaurant chains and served with the same condiments, making their eating experience predictable (and she isn’t shamed for being a ‘picky eater’! Her parents and Mother Nature say that it’s wonderful that she finds so much joy in potatoes and gently convince her to give her body what else it needs too)

She also hates trail mix for being “chaotic” with all its different flavours mixed together, and firmly prefers oatmeal cookies to normal cookies

Autism is genetic and her father likewise exhibits several autistic traits

She considers Jasmine casually striking up a conversation with a stranger and singing in public without self-consciousness to make her courageous, no matter what other fears she has

She continues to think of herself as “the new kid” for a good few months post-move and feels the internal need to prove her belonging in Dimmadelphia on Founder’s Day

She can’t comprehend how and why arbitrary, pointless social rivalries like the one between the band and orchestra groups exist

She repeatedly wishes for fantastical roleplaying adventures with her godparents, which give her excitement without stress or loss of control, as the stakes aren’t real and she always wins in the end (the “plot twist” we see Wanda add is the return of a villain from a previous adventure, still drawing on comfortable familiarity)

She has no interest in seeing more of Fairy World until Dev brings it up, strange for such a curious girl who adores her fairies - maybe out of aversion to an unknown, unpredictable setting?

When surrounded by clones of herself and asked to raise her hand if she’s real, she hesitates because she isn’t sure and doesn’t want to “deprive the real Hazel of being herself”, demonstrating high empathy, self-doubt and existential overthinking all at once; Wanda says, “Only the real Hazel would overthink whether she was real or not!”

I’m autistic and I relate to her enough to know

[pigeonp0st]

Lena Luthor x Reader #3

Summary: Lena breaks up with Reader to keep her safe from Lex. Reader hatches a plan to get rid of him that goes terribly wrong, and naturally, torture follows. This mostly takes place after she’s found again.

Warnings:

Angst,torture, depression, trauma, childhood trauma

Notes:

Hey! I’m going about writing differently now. Everything I write from here on out will most likely be straight from the tumblr drafts and fairly quick. Something I decide to do in a random sitting (unless it’s paid for). Fair warning that this isn’t that, this is just something I worked on ages ago and didn’t publish. I did NO SPELLING CHECKS and remember writing at 2am, so warning number 2

———————

Lena loathed the DEO in that moment. She loathed Alex, and she loathed Supergirl , and she loathed every damn agent in the building so that she didn’t have to loathe herself instead. It’s not enough, there was still a small part of her that she couldn’t ignore, a part of her that screamed; ‘you should have held on. You should have been there’

She knows she should have been there. She knows she failed you before anyone else did. She knows. But she’s trying now and she doesn’t know how to get it to matter to the world. Trying won’t save you, and trying hasn’t led you back to her.

Trying has only led you there, far from Lena, laying somewhere unknown with a body and a heart too worn. Though, Lena imagines, that’s probably not a new feeling for you. She trembles with the image of Lex mocking her on video, holding a gun to your head, she trembles and thinks, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.

Then, miraculously;

“Found her!” Winn shouts loudly, raising his Supergirl action figure in victory, and Lena, CEO, multibillionaire, crumbles in relief in front of dozens of agents in the middle of the DEO.

—-

When you wake up Lena feels her heart stop.

She wanted to kiss you, hold you. She wanted to be the type of person that stayed. She wanted to be the type of person worth staying for.

She wanted to believe the both of you would be okay, and she wanted to hold your face and tell you that. That you’d be okay. She wanted more than anything in that moment to be the type of person that said the right thing. That did the right thing.

She wasn’t. She wasn’t any of the people she wanted to be. Your eyes met hers, full of sorrow, and human and hurt, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t because she was scared, and because she was human also. She wasn’t—so she leaves.

Now, as she’s gripping herself in the hallways of the DEO, struggling against the weight of what feels like worlds on her shoudlers, choking on breaths that should have been being shared with you, she’s filled with so much self contempt it could fuel the whole government. Whoever said that “It’s better to have loved and loss, than to have never loved at all”, has never met the two of you and has never loved this desperately.

Loving you made her feel just as much as losing you had, and is it worth it? Maybe, but It’s certainly not better to be feeling this than not ever feeling it. Can’t those things coexist? Can’t it be better for her to never love, but can’t loving also be a choice she’d make despite all the pain?

Can’t you love the things that will destroy us in the end? Doesn’t she always?

She should go back in. She should go back in and ask for forgiveness, but the fear of ruining things further, of the both of you hurting each other further, prevents her from trying to fix things.

When she broke up with you she had just wanted to protect you from Lex. Losing you like that would have nothing compared to—

Lena shivers, shakes her head, and clutches onto herself more tightly with trembling fingers.

“You’re hyperventilating,” Alex says from where she’s leaning against the wall beside Lena. Her eyes are watchful, careful, but Lena feels them like daggers.

She straightens, forces out a; “wow, you really are an amazing analyzer, detective,” and nearly gets a smirk for her troubles—but Alex is too soft, too caring to give her that. She moves towards her, ever the big sister, but Supergirl rushes in first.

“Lena,” Supergirl—Kara, Kara, Lena thinks, and often starts to forget, except when Kara looks at her like this—breathes out.

Lena steps back from them both, the humanity in the room tears her apart, reminds her of her lack of, and destroys her. “You have to…to warn people when you do that…super speed thing,” Lena grits out, cutting Kara off before she can even begin to try and be…be good. She gestures towards the room with shaky hands and begins to try and compose herself lHow long was she awake while I was asleep?”

Kara and Alex look at each other. Say nothing. “Guys—”

“She woke up two hours ago,” Alex says, at the same time Kara says; “you were wiped out—didn’t even hear the nurses, of course we couldn’t just wake you up”

Two hours, and she was asleep. Lena goes cold instantly. She remembers hearing Lex had you, remembers it like one remembers the worst moment of their life; both intimately and not at all. She remembers hearing Supergirl had you—that you were breathing , but people only say that when someone is very not okay, and Lena remembers the way adrenaline had rushed through her. She had felt both alive and utterly useless through it, and it sticks to her even now.

Alive, but asleep, never the person she needs to be to protect you. How alone have you felt because of her? How scared?

“Lena,” Kara starts again, “Lena, she wanted you to sleep— ”

“Go in there,” Alex cuts her off, gets a very annoyed look for it, because they both can’t seem to help cutting each other off today. “You want to show her she’s not alone, that she’s safe? I promise you that the only way she’ll feel that is with you there.”

Kara nods, suddenly straightening and transforming into Supergirl just like that, just in the stance. “Hero complexes will serve nothing except separation and loneliness. You taught me that. Stronger together, Lena.”

Wanting to save you had left you alone, and yes, alone to Lena meant away from Lex, but he’s not the only scary thing in this world, and she should have known that he’d never forget how to destroy her. To leave you alone, Lena thinks, was the worst thing she could have done.

While you were away Lena had to confront herself. Had to realize that so far, every good thing in her life has come with a cost, has led to ruin, and the threat of Lex…it had just seemed to her like the time had come. Like it was her only option. To sacrifice, to sacrifice and hurt.

If Lex had won by separating the two of you, then he had one like that. In her mind, Lena had already been destroyed, of course she imagined that to be the end of it, that he wouldn’t touch you. She’d rather hurt by pushing you away than you dying. Even the thought—

God, she’s so tired of being a coward. To being so scared of losing you that she’s willing to destroy you both.

Kara and Alex hating what she’s done in the unspoken way that they do hurts even more in a way Lena’s used to, because it hurts like regret. Their stances have turned from concerned and loving, to protective heroes. She should have never left you alone. Not when she was scared of Lex, and not now. She gives both Kara and Alex a firm nod and tries to walk past to get into the room. To make things right.

Kara stops her with a hand on her shoulder. She drops it instantly when Lena turns towards her. Ever the fragile hero, always afraid of her own hands for the strength they hold. “Before that…” Kara coughs awkwardly, “Um…we need you to understand her injuries…and what happened.”

—-

When Lena walks into the room, it’s not like you thought she would. She’s not the fragile human curled up in a chair, or the terrified women fleeing your medical room. She’s angry with rage and a whirlwind of feelings, caught in a tornado of emotion. She’s large in the way she’s always been, and yet it has never left you feeling so small.

You sink back into your hospital bed, pull the covers to your chin, and watch her.

“You went after him?” Lena hisses out, so lowly, so sharply, that she might as well have cut the words into your skin for the way that it dig into you. “Everything I’ve ever done is to protect you, and you just decided to throw it all away like it means nothing? Do you have any idea—”

“You were protecting yourself!”

Lena stops. She was pacing, shaking with emotion, but she stops dead in her tracks at the sound of your voice. You yell it, and yet it’s still somehow silent. Your throat is ruined, a testament to the cruelty of Lex, and the evidence of that and more is written on your skin. You’re covered in injuries. Your brokenness has never been more visible, you think, and it should leave you feeling fragile, and it does, god it does, but right now it gives you power.

Power over Lena, who looks at you like her life hangs in the palm of her hand.

“You think I’m stupid, that I don’t know that every fiber of your being is laced with fear?” You whisper now, hand on your throbbing throat. “You left me for you, and I went after Lex for me.” Its venom. Venom, and anger, and all of the thing you know Lena takes In stride. The thing she strives on.

It hangs in the air for a second. Then Lena, beautiful Lena, kneels by the side of your bed. CEO, one of the most powerful people in this city; on her knees for you. She doesn’t look invigorated, doesn’t looked fueled by anger, just looks sad with regrets.

“I did it for me,” Lena agrees, so soft, so not like them; not like her family. “I did it for you, too. Of course I did it for you, and maybe it was a terrible thing to do—led by my trauma talking to me—but don’t lay there and deny I wasn’t thinking of you,” she breathes, then pauses, eyes tracing your busted lips, bruised face, bruised neck. Her jaw trembles and her lips part, she looks as if she wants to say more, but her eyes are haunted by the home she grew up in.

As if reading your mind Lena whispers, “they haunt me. It’s as if I can never let go. I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of it.” She closes her eyes with furrowed brows, as if not looking at you will prevent the shake in her voice. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For them. For them now, for them back then, and for them in the future—if you still want to be in my life, you have to know I can’t escape them. Even when they’re not there they’re there. It…god, it makes me sick.”

When Lena raises her hands and grips herself, digging her fingers into her skin like she wants to pull the trauma and memories out of herself, like she wants to get rid of them, something in you breaks. Breaks because your arms are raw and aching, and it wasn’t Lex. Breaks because you know so intimately what it’s like to face reality and find it so frustratingly unchangeable. To want so much, and for it to mean nothing is the most devastating thing.

To be so large, and so small.

You’ve been crying, and Lena doesn’t notices until a sob falls from your lips. You’ve been trying to hold it in, but when she startles up at it and looks at you with that same wanting, like you’re her heart walking and she’d give anything to take your hurt, the sobs break through like a dam. They break through and it hurts because there is no part of you left unbroken.

When you sob it disturbs your broken ribs, disturbs the bruises covering your torso, rips at your tarnished vocal cords, and has the machines in the room beeping so loud it alerts the nurses.

—-

Lena doesn’t even have time to stand before the nurses rush in and pull the blanket off of you. There’s no words to describe the shift that happens in side of her when she sees the extent of your injuries.

It’s like something both breaks and rebuilds in her, and then breaks again, paralyzing her. Then, she sees a nurse heading towards you with a syringe and it activates her.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Lena says, or thinks she says. She can’t recognize the venom in her voice, doesn’t feel apart of her body.

She’s moving in between the nurse and you, but your sobs begin to bring her back to reality.

“She needs to be put under, she’s hurting herself—”

Lena doesn’t pay attention to her, just sees Alex and Supergirl enter the room. Sees the way Alex shakes her head and nods to the corner of the room, and follows in suit while every fiber of her being says to do otherwise.

It kills her that she can’t protect you. Can’t protect you from the nurses that you try to pull away from, can’t protect you from the hurt on your skin, or in your heart, couldn’t protect you from— she thinks of Lex. Lex when he was her big, smart older brother that she admired more than anyone in the world.

She thinks of the way he’d give her a cheeky roll of his eyes behind Lillian’s back after a small verbal lashing. Thinks of every chess game, every hide n seek game, every reassuring grin. You’re smarter than they know Lena, he’d say, and she’d beam, not noticing the progressive darkness in his eyes as he said it.

Her eyes don’t leave you as the nurses put you down again. She thinks; I’ll kill him. In her peripheral she knows Kara is watching the floor, and feels Alex watching her. When the nurses cover you back up and they both turn towards you, Lena knows it was out of respect for you. She’s grateful for it—somewhere in her thunder of emotions she’s thankful for them, but also feels a bit of anger towards them.

This is why they kept her from seeing you when you were brought in?

“Why doesn’t she have a hospital gown?” Lena asks in a whisper.

“She took it off, said it hurt when the nurses moved it, and that it was sticking to her. Constricting her,” Kara explains, she sighs, shakes her head, and then turns towards Lena as Supergirl. With a fire in her eyes.

The same one in Lena as she allows herself to ask the very question she wanted to run from hours ago. “Where’s Lex?”

“No.” It’s both Supergirl and Alex.

“Alive then? Okay,” Lena starts towards the door. “If you’re here, he’s here. I’ll find him easily enough.”

Supergirl, familiarly, stands in her ways. Eyes sympathetic next to Alex’s hardness. “Where are you when you’re with them?” Alex asks from behind her. When you let them guide every bad decision you make, she hears.

Lena stops. Thinks about control, about gods, about leaving you to wake up alone again, thinks about murder, both in her blood and not, thinks about Lex with a gun to your head, with fists, and kicks, and a maniac smile, thinks about her dad in the same way—standing over Lex while Lillian gripped Lena back. She thinks of cycles, thinks of protection and all the ways it’s possible, all the ways she’s capable, more capable then him.

Smarter, Lena remembers Lillian saying casually. Always smarter than.

Better than, Kara will say.

The good one, Alex will joke.

My hero, you’d grin. Lena feels herself split. Starts forward again.

Kara whispers now, “Heroes don’t kill, Lena.”

Alex, “it’s both the best and most terrible thing about us.”

Us.

Lena wants to yell, wants to crumble, wants to curl by your side, wants to kill Lex with her bare hands, wants to erase the Luthor history from her mind, from her body, wants to erase it from yours even more. Wants it so desperately, so acutely it hurts. Sadness fills the room, suffocates them all.

Kara is watching you again, Alex keeps glancing back, they’re both unconcerned about Lena now. Full faith in her to be who they claim she is. Lena returns to the seat by your bed and allows herself to be that person.

“Whatever cell he’s in, I’m building it,” Lena whispers, thinking of the cuffs she’ll put on him, wondering if she can somehow slow down his mind.

Alex nods, running her hands down her face. The past couple hours have completely exhausted her in a way Lena’s not used to seeing from her. Alex cares so much about you, and it shouldn’t surprise Lena but It does. “We’re thinking about sending him to the phantom zone.”

Here, Lena is more surprised. They must know that’s a death sentence. Lena glances at Supergirl, she’s still watching you but she’s clearly listening, her eyes have turned hard. They aren’t underestimating Lex. They clearly know the responsibility that’ll bear on them if he escapes again.

Lena feels another bought of gratitude towards them as she takes your hand, and trusts them to handle the person she trusts no one to handle.

——

When you wake up the second time it’s because nurses are dapping you with wet cloths, clearly trying to clean you. They apologize profusely, say they thought the drugs would keep you down longer, and offer to finish the cleaning after you’ve gotten more pain killers.

Your eyes dart around rapidly, chest constricting in anxiety, and then you see Lena. She’s standing by the door, clearly trying to keep out of the nurses way. She’s not full of rage and untouchable in that way, and she’s not fragile, she’s strong.

Her eyes are hard, but not cold. They’re determined, and loving, and they’re your strength too. You suck in a shaky breath, whisper; “thank you. Later might be an option”, as you try to focus on Lena and not the thought of the nurses hands on you turning into Lex’s violent ones.

When they all shuffle out Lena quietly returns to the spot by your bed. This Lena somehow makes you feel more fragile than angry, furious Lena had, because in the place of your defensiveness you’re left to feel your guilt.

“I’m…I’m not weak, Lena.” It feels stupid to claim now as you lay in a hospital bed feeling nothing but. You clench your jaw. Lena’s hand reaches up and takes your chin, forcing you to meet her eyes. She’s not gentle, certainly not rough, but her firmness gives you the power to continue. She’s the stable ground that helps you find your footing.

You find it. Meet her gaze unblinking. “I’m not Supergirl, I’m not you, I’m not Alex, or Jon, or Winn, or James, or Kelly, or— or Lex…I’m not capable in the particular ways you guys are, but I am capable.”

Lena’s eyes fall to your throat. You grip her wrist, the one holding your face, and her eyes meet yours apologetically. “I know,” she says, so softly, so quietly. “You being here is the evidence of it, isn’t it?”

You nod, but you aren’t done. “I’m not sure what Supergirl told you. Clearly she told you I went after Lex, and in a way that’s true, but more so I wanted him to come after me,” you pause. Lena is watching you with furrowed eyes, clearly trying to piece together what you’re explaining before you finish.

Her lips part after just another moment. She’s figured it out you realize, feeling a bit of pride because of it. Pride because she has faith in you, pride because she‘s so incredibly quick and you have had the privilege to know her so acutely. “All of this…was your plan?” Lena asks, sounding both shocked and not.

You wince, brushing aside her hand so you can look down, adverting your gaze. “Well…not all of it.” Memories flash through your mind. “I thought he’d keep me captive, not…” you left out a frustrated breath, angry, so angry at yourself for not being able to speak about it. Speak about him.

“It was a game to him, of course. He’d torture me, send you a video to torture you. He’d get you chasing him. He’s always liked the thrill.” Your eyes stay on Lena’s fists. Watch as they clench so tightly to her side that they shake. “I knew he loved messing with you, and was partly counting on it, not like that but— but maybe just having me wouldn’t have been enough, maybe it was good he did what he did—got so high off of it his guard lowered.”

“Don’t say that,” Lena pleads. You startle up at the sound of her trembling voice doing everything not to cry.

You breathe in; your ribs hurt. You breathe out; they hurt again. Lena shakes her head at herself, frustrated and biting her lip. She’s having a battle with composure and losing.

“Kara told me how you stole his nanotech and used it to immobilize him. That the tech that was missing from my lab last week was found with the stuff he confiscated from you. That you hacked his computer with my prototype to send her the location to his headquarters underground,” Lena rushes out, “I didn’t know you planned to get taken to his HQ, to steal his nanotech, didn’t know that anyone besides me and the DEO knew what he was working on.”

It’s a quick summary of the things you’ve done, leaving out the weeks of planning, leaving out the struggles of actually setting the plan in motion when the shifting variables shifted in a way you weren’t prepared for. It should leave you proud, but when you think of what you managed all you remember is pain and struggle.

“You stopped Lex like you planned. So many people are saved because of you. An unfathomable amount, and yet,”she says. And yet, you think, heart fluttering because you know Lena will say the very thought that kills you to think of, but the thought that can’t escape you anyways. “What…what you did was monumental, and thank you, but god, I so wish you hadn’t,” Lena breathes. “He gone, and yet he has never been so present. Perhaps you felt the effects of him through me before, but you know now what it’s like to have him really present, always right over your shoulder, and that…I would’ve given the world for otherwise.”

It’s exactly the same thoughts you have had. To hear it from Lena, someone you admire and trust so much, someone you believe to be good with every piece of you, someone you’d follow everywhere—it’s like a medicine for guilt.

“What I said before…about doing what I did for me,” Lena shakes her head, ever understanding, like she doesn’t need you to finish. You do though. “I did it for me because I wanted desperately for you to still be mine, and getting rid of Lex was the avenue for that,” you admit. “I didn’t want him to plague you anymore either.”

You hesitate. Memories of Lena pacing at night—startling awake, watching the news with the grimness of someone attending a funeral—memories of Lena’s affectedness come to you. Her humaneness at hearing Lex escaped again, and in her humanity in her vulnerability.

“I want to take responsibility, so I don’t want to say I did it for you, but what you said earlier made me realize everything is a bit of both. I did it for me, I did it for you too.”

Lena laughs. Laughs. It shocks you, causes you to jump and stop looking at your hand, causes you to meet her gaze again. “Ow,” you growl, unamused, because Lena is still laughing. She’s covering her face and has the decency to look apologetic.

Your ribs hurt from the startle but even you can’t help but be confusedly amused.

“I want to hate,” Lena starts, mirth in her voice, “that you did the thing I wanted you to do least in the world, and you got exactly what you wanted out of it. You captured lex, and in a way captured me back too.”

“Oh,” you perk up, smiling up at Lena innocently. “Guess I’m the brains now, brawn.”

Lena’s eyes narrow at you. “That insinuates that you were ever the brawn.”

Back to glaring. Lena lets out another huff of laughter and brushes your hair back, away from a cut on your forehead. Her eyes are so soft, so full of warmth, and love that you could cry. Would cry, perhaps, if it wouldn’t hurt every part of your body.

Instead you grin, because that’s what humans are taught to do instead of cry, and ask, gently—feeling like a shaky child; “does that mean you’re my girlfriend again?”

—-

Lena’s eyes widen as she realizes what she implied, and as you own up to it so hesitantly, so childlike, like Lena could ever think of pushing you away after everything. Her words, not for the first time today, betray her. All she can do is nod.

Your responding grin is heroin to Lena. You smile so wide the cut on your lip breaks open again and starts bleeding, but you pay it no mind. Lena does. She smiles back, albeit more gently, and squishes your cheeks together to prevent the split widening.

You pout in her hands. Lena’s heart flutters. She keeps getting hit randomly with momentous emotion, and she’s hit again with it now. The softness of this moment feels like seeing a rainbow after months of storms.

You here, alive, looking at Lena with so much love in your eyes, so much understanding. It feels like a fantasy. Feels like a lucid dream, a dream she’d choose, over, and over again, until the end of time.

Lena leans in and kisses you—not on the lips, they are cut and bruised. She kisses you on the space just below your eye. A spot, one of the few spots, clear of visible injury. She takes pleasure in the way you flush like it’s the first time. She always did, will always do. “I love you,” Lena whispers, promising herself that even if there are days you won’t believe her, there will never be a day you don’t hear it.

It’s you, and it’s her, and it’s the mountains of history and trauma you two are fighting against. Lena likes the both of your odds. Loves winning just as much.

You’ll beat Lex she knows. There will be a day soon where he stops haunting the two of you. Where he’s not even a thought. When that time comes you’ll have won the war, but for now she’ll take the pride of winning every battle in stride, for now, in the now; she’ll cherish every moment, the many moments, when trauma leaves the room and love consumes it.

“Lena Luthor,” you breathe. You breathe. “My love, my hero.”