#wilson is so pretty hes like if a man and a woman had a baby

[nonbinarylesbianherb]

[coweye]

The Honda Odyssey

Logan Howlett x Reader | smut | 6k words Summary: The car fight reimagined and it only needed to be like 10% more erotic than the original.

I got carried away. I just love Wolvie so much. I'm so happy Logan is getting the adoration he deserves. Long live the Wolverine renaissance.

Warning: smut, p in v, ass play, foul language.

If you had to pinpoint a moment when your life became the shit show it had steadily developed into, you’d say it was the moment you auditioned for X-Force.

In your tenure as besties with Wade Wilson, it's fair to say things hadn’t gone smoothly. The man was a conduit to all things fucked up, but you adored his loose morals and quick mouth. The idiot in red had weaselled his way into your heart and became something of a brother to you and more recently a roommate.

Now, if you’d have told your younger self you’d be in your late twenty’s sharing an apartment with a burn victim who regularly staples a toupee to his fucking head and a coke-head, blind, old African American woman, you’d have laughed in their fucking face.

So, you’d like to think that as these things go you are pretty damn well adjusted but traversing the multiverse was a bit of a stretch, even for you.

One moment you’re at Wade’s surprise party, the next your ass has been zapped to the TVA and you’ve been given a sacred mission; to accompany Marvel Jesus (Wade) and protect the sacred timeline.

Naturally you’re fucking mind blown, you’re a low-level mutant, fuck, you couldn’t even join the X-Men.  Your particular set of skills were a dime a dozen and your flagrant disregard of rules had made you a ‘poor candidate’.

No, the mutant powers you had been graced with weren’t extraordinary by any means. You were basically an off-brand Captain America, just without the gorgeous cheekbones, patriotism and righteous need to do good.

In layman terms, you are strong as shit and have an accelerated healing factor. Not quite the same level as Wade’s mind you. You have, give or take, an inconvenient five-minute turnaround on the more fatally debilitating wounds.

To say you were unqualified was an understatement and to say you were reluctant was a simple fact. A fact you repeated, loudly to anyone that would listen as you were bathed in rich black leather.

“I think maybe you meant to grab negasonic teenage whatchacallit… she’s great, super powerful!” You continue. “Did you mean to get Domino or Colossus or maybe one of the X-Men? “

“No Miss Y/L/N. We have not got the wrong person for the job.” The man you later find out is called Paradox, calls out as you re-enter the operation headquarters. “Mr Wilson requested your presence; he wanted your assistance on his mission.”

“Y/N/N… ten out of ten, baby girl, I one hundred percent would bang. I’m talking raw dog, Barry White on a rug, let’s go all fuckin’ night.”  Wade hollers in his own brand-new suit and even you must admit, you look fucking amazing. “Sweet angel, we’ve just gotta’ come up with a superhero name for you!”

You are enrobed in rich thick black and teal leather, your first ever hero suit and it’s a fucking good one. It doesn’t cling, but instead pulls you in securing your flesh and extenuating curves, ones you hadn’t entirely realised you had. The bottom half your face is concealed with a mask, carefully crafted to follow the contours of your nose and cheekbones.

You’d barely recognised the mysterious figure in the mirror.

“Right?! Tailor was pretty handsy though!”

“Oh yeah, ha! - that man is indeed a predator.” Wade says with a chuckle and a fond sigh.

It shames to you to say but that’s when you stopped fighting this whole thing. You looked the part of a hero; you thought that maybe the TVA knew what they were doing. That they had seen something in you and knew that you had a good heart under all the darkness that lingered on the surface.

Wrong.

You were just a demand Wade had made. He wanted his number one disciple at his side whilst he carried out his sacred mission. You were part of an attempt at appeasing him whilst they destroyed your timeline.

Little more than a pawn to be used whilst they manipulated him into a false sense of security.

Thus, you were thrown into a series of events far beyond your control when Wade being Wade decided you were hunting down a Wolverine to stabilise the timeline, only to be once again fucking zapped into some place they called the void by that little English shitbird named Paradox. It’s entirely accurate to say that you were a little less sturdy than your compadres.

Unfortunately for you, the fall from such a height into the void was fatal. When you finally awake in the desolate wasteland to the sounds of blades clashing it is disorientating to say the least.

Forcing yourself to your feet you lower your mask and gasp in the sweet strangely stale oxygen as you stretch out your newly healed spine with a groan. It was impossible to tell how long you were out as you take in the scene before you; Wade and the Wolverine are engaged in a heated battle. From the looks of it, Logan is winning this fight despite being the human equivalent of a knife block with Wade’s katanas protruding from his chest.

For a moment you pause, perhaps its head trauma that hasn’t healed (He’s fucking Deadpool, he can look after himself for two minutes) and appreciate his form, the Wolverine the two of you had kidnapped was gorgeous. Tch, as if there was any other kind.

Sure, you were biased you’d always been somewhat of a fangirl, but the Wolverine was objectively breath-taking.

You’d indulged in comics whilst growing up but when you found out he was real and looked the way he did, hell, Wolverine was your sexual awakening. He was the first man to make you feel that tingle in your lower stomach. Yes, you may have been thirteen years old, a ball of puppy fat and social anxiety but you’d been waiting for him ever since. 

You’re snapped out of your reverie when Wade loses baby knife in Logan’s shoulder blade, finally you spring into action. In good time as well as you’re not sure if even Deadpool can survive decapitation.

In the singularly most stupid act of your life you throw yourself in front of your friend’s body. “Wait, Wait! Please!”  

Wade has paused behind you, you can feel him weighing up the situation, pausing for a moment to see what you’re going to pull out of the bag.

“The TVA they can fix it, whatever you did, whatever made you the worst Logan, they can fix it! – They have the power to end universes, but they also have the power to fix yours! Help us get back there and we can fix both of our worlds! I promise, they can fix it.” You plead, it’s not quite a lie exactly, more of an Educated Wish than anything.

Okay it is a lie, but you’re sure that the TVA can most likely, probably, maybe fix his world.

Logan’s eyes lock with yours in that moment you can see that he wants to kill you both and be done with it, but that hope won’t let him. You feel a smidgen of guilt for the deceit, but frankly you’ve done worse for less. Your world was on the line it wasn’t the time to pull your punches.

Fast forward four exhausting hours, two periods of unconsciousness and one flaying to find yourself sat opposite Wade gagging down cold spoonful’s of Spam in some dusty ass diner.

You were no better than a man as you watched the Wolverine.

Those arms, those thighs, the way he had beheaded Sabretooth without even breaking a fucking sweat. You wanted him to wrap those instruments of death he called hands around your throat and fuck you dirty until the sun came up.

It had been a long exhausting day and you had been soaking wet for most of it.

Shit, could he smell that? Does that count as sexual harassment? You’d have to ask Wade.

Logan, however, was utterly dismissive of your advances in the face of what was undoubtedly utterly horrific past trauma. Something you were trying to be understanding about, but self-pity in a man, it just turned you on. I said you had some surface layers of darkness.

Unable to help yourself you gaze at him as he opens a bottle of rubbing alcohol. You are utterly entranced, watching the thick chords in his throat bob as he takes a swig.

That tanned skin where his jaw ends and neck begins, slick with sweat and dirt. You’d love to sink your canines into the strip below his ear. He must feel your stare on him as he looks up and catches your eyes dark with lust already surveying his person.

It should embarrass you, that every time he peers your way, he catches you gaping at him like a lovesick puppy, but there’s something about Logan you can’t quite put your finger on. The man heats your blood like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, maybe it’s that torch you’ve carried for him since girlhood, maybe it’s the thick thighs you’d kill to ride – who can say for sure?

In what you assume is against his better judgement, he comes to perch on the booth beside you. His broad shoulders cast an imposing figure as he gets close enough that if you were to move your hand a couple of inches to the right, you’d finally be able to touch that yellow fabric that plagued your tween dreams.

You’re burning up at the thought of him, unable to stop yourself you part your legs slightly to ease some of the pressure. Logans nose twitches, his head swivels your way and his eyes catch your own.  

Welp - at least you have your answer about him smelling your arousal.

Deciding that you were most likely verging on sexual harassment charges you decided to focus back in on the task at hand, gagging once again at another spoonful of spam.

“Be a good girl and swallow, Y/N/N, you know the rules!” Wade jokes, your chortle was your only response. What could you say? He always hit your funny bone despite the ocean that was raging in your panties.

Logan stares at Wade for a long moment before turning to your way and addressing you for maybe only the fourth time today?

“What are you doing with this fucking clown? You his sidekick? Following him round to laugh at his stupid fucking jokes whilst he gets kids killed?”

“Why I have never.” Wade is faux outraged at his words, clutching his imaginary pearls as the Wolverine throws around accusations that aren’t entirely untrue.

The Wolverine’s expression remains stern as his eyes track your face. They seem to be evaluating your character and from the flare in his nose and crease in his brow you can guess he finds you lacking. You’re embarrassed to admit how much that deflates you, so you do what you do best; you deflect.

 “I could follow you around and laugh at your jokes instead, if you like?” When you speak your voice has a sultry edge to it and there’s no mistaking your intentions.

Logan seems to think on your proposition for a second or two, before he huffs grabs his rubbing alcohol and unopened can of Spam and heads over to sit at the bar.

“Holy hot ham and cheese on rye, Y/N, you fucking slut.” Wade berates you though his voice is as light as it’s always been as he boots your shin under the table. “Trying to your holes filled by Wolvie during a world saving mission, Marvel H Christ, stay on fucking task!”

You swear you hear Logan mutter a Jesus Christ from the bar.

Though as Wade continues irritating the hero hunched against bar, you can’t help the realisation that he didn’t say no.

“You’re uh… well regarded in our world.” Wade complements, being real doesn’t come easy to him. You appreciate the effort.

“Well, I’m not shit in mine.”

“I tried to join the X-Men because of you.” You speak up finally joining their conversation. Wolverine’s back goes rigid, but he doesn’t respond. You’re not sure if he’s waiting for you to continue or hoping you’ll stop. “You made a difference to this world, made me think I could do the same. I just never quite make the cut.”

Logan doesn’t seem to have a response.

It seems your words have an effect as you catch him watching you more often. When Wade makes his jokes, he looks to you for validation of his withering looks.

You’re probably more distracted by this revelation than you should be when the three of you come across a real nasty variant of Colossus seeking out Wade for… you want to say… revenge?

The not-so-gentle-anymore-giant flips the Honda and tosses both Wade and Logan through the treeline as they advance on him as if they were little more than toys his mother had asked him to pick up.

One by one your bullets ricochet from his metal skin as he comes towards you. You aren’t built for this fight; you are completely and utterly outmatched.

All you’re doing at this point is buying yourself some time for your backup to pull themselves from the rubble, however during a particularly spirited cartwheel the metal oaf finally gets his hands on you. Colossus’ metal palm is cold on your throat, and you could swear you hear your neck snapping before you feel it.  

With a gasp you return to life to find a slightly dishevelled Logan standing above you. By the grace of god, his sleeves have been worn away in the fight, his arms, oh sweet lord, his arms are on full display.

“Thought you were a goner.” He offers you a hand when you simply stare mutely his way. Locking your fingers around his wrist he pulls you to your feet. You don’t release your hold on him and neither does he.

“Don’t throw the party just yet, eh?” You joke weakly, for a second you could swear there’s a slight raise of the corner of his mouth, imperceptible, if you didn’t know what you were looking for. In the past few hours you had become an expert on Wolverine’s face.  

Your mouth is dry as you take in his thick sweat laden biceps.

“Where’s Wade?” You query whilst rolling your aching neck as you haven’t heard his voice in a record thirty seconds, Logan suddenly remembers himself and drops your hand.

“’fraid Metal man took your clown, was pissed with him and can’t say I blame the guy.”

“Shit.” You sigh rubbing your temples as you kneel to pick up the dismembered arm of your best friend. “Well – fuck. That’ll take him a few hours at least to grow back – He’ll be so sad about his suit.”

You peel the fabric from the limb and tuck it under the breast plate of your own suit. Wade will want his glove back when it grows back.

“He say where he was taking him?”

“Oh yeah, that along with his plan for world domination...” Logan huffs as if your mere presence annoys him.

“Thought you didn’t like sarcasm.”

“I like sarcasm just fine, Bub. It’s you I don’t like.” You can’t help but smile his way at the comment made at your expense, his brows crease. “You’re a strange one.”

“Can you do your sniffy thing?”  Its impressive, you thought he’d reached the limit with his scathing looks towards Wade, yet he somehow manages to pull a deeper frown out the vault especially for you.

“Sniffy thing?” His words are spoken with such derision, it turns you on a little. You realise that perhaps you are in fact a deeply troubled individual.

“Oh, sorry.” You pretend to clear a frog in your throat. “Please, oh, please, beautiful, handsome Wolverine, please can you locate my bestest pal with your heightened sense of smell?” His face doesn’t break despite your hands clasped in front of your chin.

“You’re just as fucking annoying as that moron.” He huffs “Get in the fucking car, we’ll follow his trail.”

“You can smell him from the car?”

“The blood, Jesus Fucking Christ, there’s a trail of blood.”

“Ah.” Is all you reply as you find your seat in the passenger side and start your own one on one team up with Wolverine. Its not exactly the way you imagined it, but beggars certainly can’t be choosers.

After a few moments of sullen silence, you decide that there’s no time like the present to form a long-lasting bond.

“What’s your world like?”

“None of your fucking business.”

“Okay... What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they can save your world? I bet its something boring as fuck, like team-“

“What did you just say?”

“I bet you’re gonna do something boring like-“

“No before that.”

“What’s the first thing you’re gonna’ do if they save your world?” You question, his sudden interest in your words takes you by surprise as he has been vacant from your conversation.

The breaks suddenly shriek as the car comes to a stop.

“What do you mean if?”

“I…”

“You said they could fix my world. Undo it all, is what you fucking said.”

“I mean I think they can!”

“You fucking liar.” The edge to The Wolverine’s voice is terrifying. The realisation trickles down your spine, Logan has been nice to you all this time, you’re finally meeting The Wolverine.

“I didn’t lie!” For some reason you’re ashamed of your deceit, you’ve murdered countless people and still, you’ve felt less remorse. Logan’s eyes pin you in your seat as disgust clouds his face. It hurts more than you can fathom. “Not exactly, I think they can fix your world! – I needed your help and if you killed Wade there was no hope for my universe!”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your universe!” He spits your way; his hands are gripping the wheel in what seems like an effort to keep his cool.

“I know, but I do!” You cry back at him. “You know how to save the world, you’re the fucking Wolverine! I know how to kill people, but this hero shit, this isn’t me!”

“Ha! No shit.” There is pure hate in the man’s eyes as he stares back at you.

“Please, you’re Logan. Whether you’re the worst one or not - You’re still better than me.”

“Get out of the fucking car.” The words come from between clenched teeth and are filled with warning.

“No – fuck you.”  Your rage breaks the banks to meet Logan’s. Perhaps it’s the guilt, maybe it’s the fear for Wade but something within you snaps at his constant bad temper. “It was an educated guess and a fucking reasonable one at that, get the fuck over yourself you big bird wannabe geriatric fucker! “

He slams his palms on the steering wheel, his nose flares and his teeth clamp together.  “Fuck me? Fuck you – you sad pathetic excuse for a side-kick. No wonder the X-Men wouldn’t take you, and they’ll take fuckin’ anyone. You are a ridiculous, immature, moron who spends her days following around a fucking clown to avoid facing the reality that you are no one. I have never met a sadder, more attention starved asshole in my entire life. You were right about one thing, you’re no fucking hero.”

Its shameful the way your stomach drops, and your eyes involuntarily begin to tear. To hear your hero say the words you’ve thought about yourself whilst laying awake at night. It’s a knife to the gut.

“Nothing to fucking say, huh, Angel?” The use of Wade’s nickname for you is like sandpaper on your skin, it rubs you the wrong fucking way.

“I am going to hurt you now.” Your voice is barely a broken whisper.

“You’re going to hurt – “His faux chortle is cut short by a swift punch to his face. You’re worried you may have been overzealous with your swing when his nose begins bleeding. The Wolverine is stunned for only a moment before he grabs the back of your neck and proceeds with smashing your face into the dashboard and those concerns are quickly put to bed.

The old fucker is strong, but you don’t think he’ll kill you, yet another educated wish.

“Not so tough now…” He shouts as the radio channels change with your skull. Pulling a knife from your leg strap you embed it in his thigh and pull the lever to recline your seat whilst he’s distracted, luckily, you’re not there when he swings for retribution.

Though one of his fucking steak knives catches your upper arm slicing through the leather. Warm blood trickles down your arm, staining the beige interior of the poor Honda. 

Your legs are your strongest asset, so when he attempts to restrain you with the seatbelt, you are presented with your window of opportunity. You wrap them around his neck as you pivot your hips slamming the Wolverine headfirst into the metal of the door. Once, twice, three times - on the fourth he lands a fist to your gut, luckily, he has retracted his claws.

If he was willing to kill you, you wouldn’t stand a chance.

You’re winded struggling to catch your breath from the gut punch, but you manage pull the knife from his thigh that is nestled between your legs and thrust it into his neck, you aim for the spot you’d fantasied about kissing before he’d torn your character apart piece by piece, now you just want to bathe in his fucking blood.

It was the pain that instantaneously made his claws extend. He’s quick to move them, though he slices through the sides of your suit as he buries them in the chair behind you. Your ribs are a bloodied mess though you don’t care, in a few hours they’ll be good as new.

Logan has seized the opportunity and has your arms pinned to your sides, his blood has cooled a little more than yours, he doesn’t seem to want to murder you over an argument.

Perhaps he’s more well-adjusted than yourself, that thought alone should concern you, except it just enrages you further.

“You stupid fuckin-“The Wolverine starts admonishing you, before you swing your head forward and headbutt him.

Yes.

You really do that.

You headbutt the man with the adamantium fucking skeleton– at full strength. Its sheer dumb luck you don’t crack your own skull in the process– maybe Logan was right, you are fucking dumb.

“Fucking fuck!” You cry grabbing your forehead and writhing. Noone wins with a headbutt, except Logan apparently.

“Fucking stop that.” Your writhing has pushed your core against his crotch, and he is already packing quite the heat at what feels like half-mast. He grabs your hips to stop your movement, but it only seems to push you closer. “Stop fucking moving.”

The constant arousal you’ve felt since meeting him returns in double time, Logan’s nostrils flare and his eyes darken. It’s debased and you’re ashamed that you want him, you haven’t stopped wanting him, despite the awful fucking words that left his mouth minutes ago.

“Like … a little pain Wolvie?”

Its relief you feel, you think, when instead of answering or punching you in the face, he closes the gap.

The Wolverine’s claws retract, and he grabs at your chin. Logan’s mouth utterly devours your own, your front tooth clashes with his own as you push yourself upwards, you pull your knife out of his neck, catching his grunt of pain on your tongue as you begin licking your way down his thick throat.

The vein you’d spotted hours ago is throbbing freshly healed, you sink your canines into the flesh and its as good as you’d fucking imagine. His groan is utterly beast-like as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.

The Wolverine’s throat tastes like salt and iron. Thick, tangy and warm on your tongue as you soothe the bite. It drives Logan wild, thrusting his hardened member against your warmth. One of his gloved hands rises to lock on the back of your neck to pull you into yet another earth-shattering kiss.  His sharp hot tongue slides against your own, exploring the expanses of your mouth like its his to claim.

You bite at him again then, your teeth catching his bottom lip sharply.  Logan groans into your mouth before you use every ounce of your enhanced strength to throw him backwards against the dashboard.

He is taken utterly by surprise as his head slams into the windscreen cracking the glass with a grunt. When he looks your way Logan’s eyes are blackened with desire, he is utterly wild.

Slowly as if afraid to make any sudden moves, you unzip your combat boots, your eyes never leaving his. One boot and then the next.

You thank the TVA’s tailor for making your suit a two piece as you shuffle backwards into the backseat, pushing the thick leather down your legs all whilst maintaining eye contact with the beast leaning against the dashboard.

“You sure you want this Darlin’?”

“Darlin’?” You question mockingly, your voice lowering to imitate his own, as you wantonly spread your legs, your bare leg resting next to the headrest. Only a pair of black cotton panties separate him from your most intimate parts and his eyes are locked on your clothed core. “a second ago it was ‘Pathetic Moron’ to you.”

Your head tilts in question as his eyes lock back on your own, you think perhaps for a moment something akin to regret passes over his face, but you’ve never been entirely comfortable with feelings, so you drop your hand into the waistband of your panties, you’ve barely circled your opening with your pointer finger before he’s on you.

“That’s my job, you fucking Moron.” He plunges two bare thick fingers into your heat. Gasping you throw your head back against the headrest, it’s a tight fit and its been a while but the slight burn eases some of the aching in your core.  “You’re fuckin’ soaking wet, you like it huh, bub? Making me bleed?”

Your grab his jaw, your nails digging into his flesh. “I’d like to bathe in-” He scissors his fingers finding that spot inside you and you let out an embarrassing noise, somewhere between a gasp and a moan. “-Your fucking blood… you mean motherfucker.”

You’re an absolute goner when he starts rubbing your clit, after a day of foreplay your body seizes, and you grab at the nape of his neck trying to find something to anchor you down. But as fast as the build was you come tumbling down just as quickly, when he cruelly withdraws his hands.

“No! - Wha- what the fuck?!” You’re almost crying as your torn from the precipice.

Logan flips you over onto your stomach before you can complain any further, your face down on the filthy upholstery as he pulls your panties from your hips. You can’t see him from this angle, though you can feel his warm hands tracing the globes of your ass.

You force your knees further apart, pushing your bare soaking pussy against the tight bulge of his yellow suit. If you had enough of your facilities about you, you’d be embarrassed that you’re currently rubbing your cunt against The Wolverine like a bitch in heat after he’d chewed you out only minutes ago.

Logan’s hand dip between your thighs, his fingers swirl along your hole, dragging your wetness along to your aching clit.

“You think I’d make it that easy?” He asks as he continues the journey back and forth. On the second pass he dips his finger inside of you for a fraction of a second before resuming its path. “What do you want, darlin’?”

You weren’t going to beg, in fact you bit your tongue to stop the traitorous words from forming, this man had already made you abandon most of your self-respect, he wasn’t having this.

“Logan…” At your breathy words the man leans forward, pressing his fabric covered cock into your ass as he folds his body over yours. One hand comes down next to your shoulder, the other explore your tits as he rocks himself into your throbbing core. It’s the perfect storm as he nuzzles into your exposed throat but somehow you manage your words. “Fuck me or don’t, I’m not begging, bub.”

He exhales through his nose in what you guess is equal parts amusement and annoyance, but you’re far beyond caring. He places a bite on the spot where your throat meets your shoulder as his body pulls back. Momentarily his hands leave your hips to deal with his own pants. You hear the clank of his belt hitting the car floor moments before you feel the head of his cock, running along your folds.

The head of his cock is thick, and it feels hot to the touch as he runs it along your slick. All of a sudden Logan pushes forward and sheathes himself inside of you with a single thrust.

You try your best to hold in your incoherent moans but to little avail as he pulls back before slamming full force back into you. If you were a human woman, your pelvis would’ve shattered from the force of his hips against your ass, instead you gather your strength and push back, allowing him deeper. The both of you moan in unison at the depth he reaches.

You grab onto the foam of the seat, ripping through the fabric with your bare hands desperate for an anchor as Logan unforgivingly pounds into you from behind, once again he folds his body over yours, wrapping a palm around your clawed fingers.

“.” He grunts something incoherent into your ear as he picks up the pace, slamming into you repeatedly, slowly picking up his pace. Your core is positively aching as you throb around him, pulling him deeper within you.  If you were expecting any further explanation, you’re sorely disappointed.

The wolverine pulls back, gripping at your hips keeping you still as he resumes his powerful strokes.  Logan’s hand dips to your clit, rubbing quick circles sending you barrelling back towards your orgasm. As you begin to clench around him, he pulls your body upwards, his head brushing against the top of the car as he holds you against him his fingers never leaving your clit.

“Come on my cock, Angel.” Unable to stop yourself you clench around him, hearing him talk like that does something primal to you.

You fucking loved Logan’s mouth, you bet he ate pussy like a champion if he played the clit this fucking well.

You stopped fighting it and threw yourself from the cliff, shattering in his thick muscle veined arms as he held you up against him, his cock still viciously plundering your depths.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He whispers against your neck whispers peppering it with bites.

Logan gives you a few moments to come down from your high before he resumes his punishing pace, you think perhaps you’ve reached your limit of pleasure, that the threshold can’t possibly be topped until he whispers into your ear in that gruff voice.

“What was it Wilson said? Filling all your holes?” The Wolverine asks, his eyes meet yours over your shoulder meaningfully, asking permission as he offers you his thumb. You merely moan your approval and wantonly draw his finger into your mouth, soaking the pad in saliva.  

Logan yanks your head into a vicious kiss. It’s a messy one, filled to the brim with need. The hand not currently locked on your neck holding your face to his, travels down your back, through the valley of your bodies. The pad of his pinky runs appreciatively over the globe of your ass, before his hand dips into the crease.

Logan’s thumb runs teasingly against the tight ring of muscle, it’s a foreign experience which makes you startle slightly.

“Anyone ever fucked you here?” He asks as he bites down your neck, delicately pushing you forward until your head rests on the backseat. You shake your head as your eyes close, his cock is buried balls deep within you as he plays with your asshole.

When his thumb finally breaches your tight hole just past the nail, he begins his thrusts once more. His cock fills your pussy from behind and suddenly you feel so fucking full, Its far too much for you.

“Fuck… Logan.” You gasp almost on the verge of tears as pounds you into the back seat. It seems the ass play has gotten to him more than expected, as his pace has increases.

“Where?” He asks breathless from the exertion as he pulls his thumbs from your ass and takes a handful of the meat on your hips.

“Inside��. Please … Logan.” You practically beg though you’ll never admit it, his rhythm becomes stunted as his hips slam into the back of your thighs.

“Give me something tight to come in, Darlin’.” Moaning at his words you’re eager to obey as you reach your hand between your own legs and rub mercilessly at your clit. The unforgiving pounding, the grunting and the fingers currently bruising your hips and the burning of your now vacant ass send you sailing over the edge.

You clamp down on him like a vice, groaning unable to hold back your whimpers anymore as he finally bites your neck and pumps his seed deep inside you as far as it can go. Logan grunts like a beast as he pulses deep inside of you.

Logan collapses beside you. Dents in the interior of the van you don’t even remember making have appeared from where a stray elbow or knee has hit the metal in the throes of passion.

The Wolverine tucks his cock back in his suit. Ever the gentleman, he uses your black panties to wipe away the cum dripping from your thighs, you haven’t got the heart to tell him that when you’re commando redressed in your suit that you can still feel him dripping from you, your pussy uncomfortably slick against the leather.

After dressing, the two of you sit in contemplative silence. Neither one of you has the emotional complexity to discuss what happened and neither one of you will accept fault for your argument that led to it, so, silence reigns.

The tension is sliced in two as Logan leans forward and pushes an errant lock of hair behind your ear in an act so goddamn endearing, you melt. You still wouldn’t apologise for lying, because you didn’t lie but you can meet him a quarter of the way.

“I’m sorry for calling you geriatric.” You whisper catching his eyes, a small spark of humour leaps into them, you’ve seen more emotions from your hero in the past half an hour than you knew he was capable of.

“I shouldn’t have-“ Logan’s heartfelt apology is cut off by the lead of this goddamn story.

“Well, well, well.  Would you look at this, My best friends, Ha! I get fucking kidnapped, an arm ripped off and you’re nowhere to be found? I thought don’t worry Wade, they won’t leave you, Y/N/N will come around that corner any second."

Wade has appeared through the passenger side window; he looks a little worse for wear and has a child’s arm growing from his stump, its kind of gross to look at.

"What if Colossus had had his way with me? What then Y/N? I expect this from Wolvie, but not from you! No, no heroic rescue for old Deadpool. I have to save myself because you fuckers are too busy playing hide the adamantium bone!  Thanks for nothing guys. Now the car has old man sex stank to it, as if this hunk of shit Honda could get any worse!”

[trumanbluee]

you're the one that i want - deadpool / wade wilson

minors dni !! this is 17+ nsfw material !!!

please reblog if you like it! ᡣ𐭩

based on this request! <3

content: three words, baby! the honda odyssey!

word count: 2.5k

warnings: established relationship, no mention of condom (wrap it b4 u tap it!), petnames galore, deadpool is a warning in of himself lol.

a/n: the deadpool brainrot has been so strong recently so thank u guys so much for all ur requests! my return to my deadpool era couldn't have come at a worse time with my exams happening rn but i will try and write as much as i can! love you!

You'd been sitting in the backseat of the "fuck-ass Honda Odyssey", as Wade had described it, arm resting on the centre console, your head propped up on your palm lamely as you turn it left to right, half-listening to Wade and Logan argue like you're at a tennis match.

You'd almost flown forward into the front of the car when it came to an abrupt stop, tyres screeching as you let out a soft yelp in surprise. Wade hears you, and wordlessly pushes you back softly. You'd heard something spat out from Logan, along the lines of "You'll never save the fucking world!", followed by Wade's voice saying, "I'm gonna fight you now." and then the sound of a sickening crunch as he punches Logan in the nose.

It's milliseconds before you see your boyfriend's arm reach back and open your door, gently ushering you out with a soft, "Why don't you go for a walk, pretty girl?"

You know better than to argue, especially with Logan seething in the front seat, so you hop out of the car, shutting the door behind you as you trudge off into the trees, half grateful for being kicked out of the car so you didn't have to listen to Logan's grumbles when you inevitably had to ask him to pull over so you could pee.

You could hear the yelling and grunting in the distance, shaking your head as you hear the faint shatter of glass, followed by a - less than masculine - squeal from your boyfriend. You laughed to yourself, not worried in the slightest as you hear the fighting between the two, Logan's growls echoing through the trees as he squelches his claws into your boyfriend's stomach.

You'd told Wade to give Logan a break, and that eventually he would find out about his 'educated wish', but he hadn't listened, instead continuing to push and push and push Logan until, expectedly, he reached his breaking point.

You wandered around amongst the trees for a while, before slumping against a tree not too far from the car, your eyes growing heavy as you listened to the soft rustle of the leaves above you.

You wake up groggily, looking around the room as you rub sleep from your eyes. You startle when a red suit appears in front of you, but it's not the Deadpool suit that you're all too familiar with.

"I'm Elektra, that's Gambit," the woman points to a man in a helmet, who's stood in the corner, playing with cards, "and that's Blade," she points over her shoulder with her thumb to the man in a long, leather trench-coat.

"I.. uhm.. Hi?" you say, taken aback by this sudden bombardment of strangers.

"We're helping you and your friends get out of the void." Elektra explains, offering her hand to help you stand up. You take it gratefully.

"...Oh, cool..." you say, still groggy from being asleep for so long. "..are.. are they around?"

Elektra nods, pointing outside with her head, "Yellow's by the fire, Red's... around here somewhere."

You nod, thanking her and smiling awkwardly at Blade and Gambit as you walk outside, the smoke from the fire consuming your nostrils as you step out. You spot Logan by the fire, but see that he's sitting with someone.

'She looks an awful lot like that X-23 girl we saw at the TVA.' you think, not ruling out the possibility that it is her with the level of weirdness that had already occurred during your short time in the void. You tread on, looking around before you spot the Honda Odyssey. You shake your head, rolling your eyes as you walk to the drivers door of the car, opening it to reveal your boyfriend in the back-seat, pulling his katana's out of the passenger's seat next to you as you plop into the driver's seat.

He looks up when he hears the car door open, and the white eyes of his mask visible soften as he sees you.

"Hey baby," he coos, scooching forward in the back-seat to press a soft kiss to your cheek through his mask as you sit in the driver's seat, peeking over the headrest to look back at him, "was wonderin' when you were gonna wake up, sleepy head."

You smile softly, before taking a moment to look around at the damage done to the car. Your eyes go wide and your hand flies to your mouth, the other reaching back to swat at Wade's shoulder.

"Wade! What the fuck did you two get up to in here? Jesus Christ!"

You hear a whisper of 'Baby Knife!' followed by a soft grunt as Wade pockets another one of his knives.

"Just some good ol' fashioned fightin', baby! I'm kinda sad you missed it, that shit got good!"

You tut, leaning around the driver's seat to look at him as he's hunched over, digging for another one of his knives beneath the seat.

You hear him mumble something along the lines of 'Hate this fuckin' car' before he shoots up, and you can sense his smile through the mask. He leans back in the seats that are in the very back of the car, right leg thrown over one seat, with his other leg spread, suit-clad knee pressing into the fabric of the other. His eyes sharpen as he looks at you, before groaning softly, throwing his head back in a circle, and sighing.

"Fuck, princess, that fightin's gotten me all worked up," he groans, chin pressed to the top of his chest as he looks at you, eyes narrowed.

You feel your thighs rub together at the way he looks at you, the manspreading the cherry on top of a very, very, delicious looking dessert. He chuckles, gesturing to your thighs with his head.

"Saw that, baby." He laughs to himself before he lifts his hand, beckoning you to him with two fingers, his other hand resting on the headrest of the seat in front of him, twiddling Baby Knife between his fingers.

You squirm in your seat before not so agilely climbing over the centre console, crawling over the seat and onto Wade’s lap. He pockets Baby Knife, bringing a hand up to pull the bottom of his mask up, the other settling on your ass as you straddle his waist. 

“Hey doll-face,” he murmurs, smiling and giving your ass a playful squeeze, pulling his mask fully off before placing his hand on the nape of your neck, pulling you into a kiss. 

You moan against his lips as you kiss back, his gloved hand giving your ass a firmer squeeze. Wade uses this opportunity to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue past your lips as you gasp into his mouth. Your hips grind down subconsciously and he pulls away from the kiss, both of your chests rising quickly as you both try and regain your breath from the heated kiss. 

Wade smirks up at you, moving both of his hands to your hips, squeezing softly, pulling a giggle from your lips before he’s engulfing them in another breathless kiss. He moves your hips with his hands, grinding you down on his boner as it tents in his suit, causing him to buck up absentmindedly as he groans into your mouth. Your breathy whimpers vibrate against his lips, and he pulls away, leaning his head back against the headrest behind him. 

“…Fuck, doll-face,” he groans, looking up at you, “ look what you're fuckin’ do to me, baby.” 

He nods down to his dick, almost bursting out of his suit, and your mouth nearly drops open. Wade thinks to himself that if you were in an animé, you’d have heart emojis bulging from your eyes. 

He takes his hands off your hips, crossing his arms behind his head in faux-laziness as he watches you undo the buckle of his belt, slapping the sides of his legs softly, signalling for him to lift his hips. 

“Watch it, doll-face.” Wade warns, half-joking, “Ask me nicely, please.” 

You groan, giving him your ‘are-you-fucking-serious-right-now’ glare as you tug at his belt. He’d been on the receiving end of this look many times in the past, so he’s unfazed as he chuckles dryly, planting his hips down.

 “I can wait, Princess.” 

You roll your eyes, huffing. “Please, Wade,” you glare at him, “Will you please lift your hips up so I can get your dick out?” 

You add a pout and a flutter of your lashes at the end, and his resolve noticeably crumbles. He huffs, lifting his hips up off the car seat just enough for you to pull down his pants slightly. You dip your hand into his underwear, giving his dick a soft tug before freeing it from the tight pants of his Deadpool suit. 

You gather some spit in your mouth, looking at your boyfriend through your lashes before spitting onto the tip of his cock, using your hand to spread it along his length, squeezing softly around the base. Wade groans from below you, his hips bucking into your hand.

“Fuck, hotstuff, ya’ killin’ me here.” 

Wade hisses as you squeeze a bit harder around his dick, the pretty ring he’d proposed to you with cold against his skin. 

He almost whines, stopping himself by biting his lip, “Oh, c’mon baby, what’d I do to deserve this teasin’, huh? I fought so valiantly against ol’ Wolvie, didn’t I, princess? Don’t I deserve to be treated nicely?” 

Something about the whiny-ness of his tone sends a pang to your heart, and pussy, and you grind down against his thigh absentmindedly before putting both your hands on his shoulders. 

“Help me out, would ya’, Wadey?” you ask sweetly, shimmying your hips slightly to gain his attention. 

His hands fly to your tights, tugging them down your thighs, lifting your legs softly, one by one, and peeling your pants off, leaving you hovering above him in your prettiest pair of panties. You’d been wearing them as a birthday surprise for him, but you’d both been snagged by the TVA before you could put them to good use… until now. 

Wade’s breath hitches from beneath you as his eyes land on your panties, his lower lip bitten between his teeth as his chest heaves. 

“Fuck, doll-face, what’re you all dressed up for?” he says, tracing a gloved hand over the lacy hem of your white panties, pressing a soft kiss to the little blue bow in the middle, before blowing a puff of cool air onto the damp spot beneath it. 

Your legs wobble softly and a shiver runs up your spine, leaving you grateful for your hands planted on your boyfriend's broad shoulders. 

You muster the breath to say, “They’re for you, baby… Well, they were for your birthday…”

He groans softly, pressing a soft kiss to your mound before pushing the thin fabric to the side, swiping a gloved finger through your slick. 

“Shit, baby.. Y’so wet f’me,” he says, voice breathless. “Fuck those stupid fucking day players, keeping my beautiful fiance, and her beautiful fucking panties from me on my birthday. What assholes, hey baby?” He says, pressing his thumb to your clit harshly as he blows another puff of air onto your slick pussy, causing your hips to buck into the air. 

You whine softly, bringing a hand to pump Wade’s cock once again, nodding mindlessly at his question that he knows you didn’t even hear. 

Wade chuckles, the sound rumbling from deep in his chest and shooting straight to your cunt, your thighs squeezing around his hand as he thumbs your clit lazily. 

You shuffle yourself forward on his lap, holding onto Wade’s strong shoulder with your hand, the other slowly pumping his cock as you lift yourself up, breathing hitching as you push yourself down onto the tip of Wade’s dick. 

His breath hitches beneath you, rubbing soothing circles on your hips through his gloves as you sink down onto him. His hands grip your hips tighter as he bottoms out, your eyes squeezed shut as you clamp down on his length. 

“Shit, baby, I could blow my load right now.” Wade gasps, head thrown back as his grip tightens on your hips, moving you up and down on his cock. You follow suit with his movements, digging your nails into the fabric of his suit as you leverage yourself on his shoulders, pushing yourself up and slamming yourself down on his cock, a moan slipping from your lips at every drag of his dick along your walls. 

Your hips stutter slightly, and Wade takes this as his cue, moving his hands from your hips to gain a strong grip on your ass, lifting you up and slamming his hips to meet yours. You whine softly, eyebrows knitting together and biting your lip as the soft squelch of your wetness reverberates around the car, your chest heaving with exertion, skin dewy with a thin sheen of sweat. 

You throw your head back, moaning wantonly, one hand coming off of Wade’s shoulder and pressing against the roof of the car. 

“...Shit…Wade!” you stammer as he moves one hand to your lower stomach, his thumb pressing harshly on your clit through his glove.

You slam your hips down to meet Wade's quicker, chasing your high as Wade slams his hips up to meet yours, his head thrown back against the head-rest behind him, eyes closed, as he groans softly.

"C'mon, doll-face," Wade grunts from beneath you, rubbing cruel circles on your clit as he bucks into you, "...y'gonna cum? Can feel you squeezing around me, princess."

You moan softly, babbling something like a 'uh-huh' as your eyebrows knit together, eyes shutting tight as you feel the coil building in your lower belly, threatening to snap any moment.

Wade feels you clamping around him, looking up and watching as you throw your head back, your grip on his shoulder tightening.

"That's it, baby," he groans from under you, pinching at your clit meanly causing you to whimper softly, your head coming forward, forehead resting against his as you grind down onto his cock.

"C'mon, hotstuff, give it to me..." he grunts, feeling his own orgasm coming as you clench down on him like a vice, a string of curse words sputtering from your lips as he feels you gush around him.

"...Shit, baby... Good girl," he coos, fucking you through your orgasm as he cums, soft grunts sounding in your ear as he bucks into you before stilling, stopping the movements of his thumb on your clit, as he lifts you up gently and pulls out. He pulls his hand away from your clit, but not before collecting a part of the mixture of yours and his cum on his gloved fingers, pushing it slowly back in to your drooling pussy. You whine, overstimulated, and he tuts, pushing your panties back into place and pulling your pants back up your legs, leaning back in the seat as you slump against his chest.

He smiles, giving your bum a soft pat and pressing a kiss to your hairline, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I lied, doll-face, the Honda Odyssey fucks, hard.”

©trumanbluee - reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated! but i do not wish for my work to be republished, translated, or copied. thanks!

[sideysvault]

˖⁺‧₊The 5 times Deadpool calls you ‘babygirl’₊‧⁺˖

Pairing: Wade Wilson x fem!reader

Established relationship wc 929

Warnings: Minors dni. Foul language, canon typical violence, and explicit content ahead.

────────

1. The apartment was dimly lit. It was a chilly September afternoon. Both of you were parading around, frantically looking for all the flyers and menus that local restaurants have left at your door and car ever since you moved into the neighborhood. You had been arguing about what to order for dinner for approximately forever. And you guys were starving.

“Thai.”

“Not so quickly, hot stuff. We had that shit last week. Mexican.”

“We have Mexican food all the time. I love it but enough is enough”

The man let out a theatrical gasp and exclaimed “Enough Mexican food? What’s next?” Taking a deep breath, he began making a poor imitation of your high pitched voice “Enough of you! Enough of us!

You held in an amused giggle. He had the ability to make mundane endeavors quite entertaining.

“Ugh, fine. I’ll be an awesome boyfriend and cook for you tonight. Sounds good, babygirl?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at the sound of that word.

“What did you just call me?”

Wade got up from his seat and started to make his way into the kitchen. Just as he is walking behind you, he smacks your ass while giving your temple a soft kiss.

“Stop being difficult”

By the time he arrived at the kitchen counter, you had him trapped with a hug from behind. Leaving soft, sloppy kisses all over his back, neck and shoulders. You really loved it when he cooked.

2. Wade had no plans of introducing his partner to what he considered nothing more than losers in spandex. But now that he was presented with the opportunity, he was quite pleased with himself. A sense of pride filled his chest with a feather-like sensation. He still wasn’t sure of how a woman like you could even date him, but he was glad you did.

“Baby, this is the russian tin man and his teenage sidekick, Guys, this is my beautiful sexy babygirl”

You immediately feel your face heating up with embarrassment. Luckily, the duo seems to be very accustomed to your boyfriend's antics. They quickly laughed it off with a roll in their eyes.

At the end of the day, he may be the biggest asshole in the world, but they are happy to see Wade in a good, normal relationship. Or at least, as normal as you could get with him.

3. He could feel you wince in pain with every step he took. Your nails were digging into his skin with such force that Wade was pretty sure it was making him bleed. But as long as he got you to the hidden safety offered by the forest near the road, nothing mattered. He tried to put you down as gently as he could. No matter his efforts, as soon as he laid you on the humid duff, you let out something stuck between a gasp and a scream. And as soon as Wade heard it, he felt his heart stop.

It was your very first time getting shot. And it has been his fault.

“It’s okay baby girl, I got you. Just look at me, okay?”

“I know it hurts, baby. We’ll fix it. Brand new. I promise.”

He did not soften the hand which he used to apply pressure on your wound. And he did not let his protective hug soften either.

4. The bed sheets felt humid. You assumed it came from the salty sweat on your body. The woman had been awoken by a nightmare for the third time this week. You panicked for a second, feeling the warm sensation of breath behind your neck. But you soon realized that it was Wade. He had his arms around your waist and you could hear a light snort coming out of the man. You let out a breath you did not know you were holding.

You two were together, at home. Turning around to face him and hide your face in the crook of his neck, pulling yourself as physically close to your boyfriend as you could. He woke up with a groan. Wade kissed your forehead and sloppily rearranged the messy hair out of your face. You could hear him mumbling sweet nothings as he tighten his grip on you and softly tracing invisible lines on your back.

“Go back to sleep, baby girl. You are safe”

- 5 -The cold sensation of the wall against your nipples was completely intoxicating.

Your head felt dizzy because of the constant stimulation. You were pretty sure you were about to pass out. But Wade’s hand kept your head in place, while he left a thrilling trail of kisses all over your neck and back.

The woman lets out a whine almost every time she feels the thrusts. Her pussy was filled with the overwhelming tingles of a denied orgasm.

“You can do it, babygirl, you are so fucking tight. Keep it up, honey”

Your hand reached for the back of his head, pulling his head closer as he pounded into you with more strength than before.

His hand covered your mouth as he mumbled into your ear “Bite it. We are not over yet”

Notes: Hi pretty! Thank you so much for your follow and your requests! I hope to write them all soon. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading this one. Take care! -Sidey xxo

Based on this request.

[darknight3904]

𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘩

𝘓𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘏𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵 𝘹 𝘍𝘦𝘮!𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: 𝘞𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘏𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯.

𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘱𝘰𝘰𝘭 & 𝘞𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯�� (2024).

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵.

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: 𝘝𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦.

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: 2.1 𝘬

𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵 / 𝘚𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 / 𝘔𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

This is the alternative version of Ghostbusters. I couldn't decide which I liked more so I'm posting both...

Special thanks to @marifilue and @n4muqr for requesting a Halloween-themed one-shot.

Wade Wilson was having a wonderful day. He'd woken up with Vanessa beside him, Mary at his feet, and Al had even made him a cup of coffee.

Of course, all good things couldn't last forever and now he was in Spirit Halloween with three of the most boring people on Earth.

"You guys can't just sit Halloween out." Wade sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose

"Why not?" Logan sighs

"Because it's your first one in a new universe and since you're all my friends you have a standard to uphold," Wade says

"I thought we were just going to stay inside and watch scary movies," Laura said

"God what a snooze fest you three are." Wade groaned in Laura's face before turning to the couple in front of him, "You two finally got together and you're telling me you don't want to have a couples costume? Seriously? It's been two full stories, plus a few extra parts and no costumes? The readers are going to be so sad!"

He watches you and Logan exchange a long look before opening your mouths again, "No."

"God it's like Ebenezer Scrooge but for Halloween!" Wade leans forward and shakes Logan by the shoulders "Do you know how important Halloween is?"

"Baby, maybe you should just accept that they don't want to dress up. You guys have both had your fair share of holidays I'm sure right?" Vanessa asks as you nod in agreement.

Logan growls and pushes Wade's hands from him, mumbling a fuck off as he watches You and Laura go to look at the giant animatronics the store has.

"In the words of my queen, Cady Herron, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

Logan looks over at Wade like he's lost it. Maybe he has, quoting Mean Girls to a man who is pushing 200.

"Are you picking up what I'm putting down?" Wade grins

"No. I don't even know a Cady." Logan sighs tiredly as Vanessa laughs at him

"Trust me, it'll be worth it if you convince your lady to dress up. I'm talking about the skimpiest costumes to ever exist. Have you looked at the women's section here? Barely clothes. Trust me, you'll love it." Wade pats his back

"And what are you going as?" Logan asks, his voice full of doubt

"Batman." Wade smiles, "And Vanessa here isgoing as Cat Woman. She's got the latex suit and everything. I'm so excited!"

Logan groans next to him, clearly not interested in Wade's fantasies as the annoying man pulls Vanessa in for a hug.

"If you want to dress up, you can. Don't let Logan and I stop you." You say, thinking of the past 70 years, "We've both had enough Halloweens in our lifetimes."

"I dunno...What would I even go as?" Laura says hesitantly glancing around the many costumes that sit on the racks

"Anything you want." You say looking to your right where a sexy "nun" stares back.

Laura looks between you and the costume like you're crazy.

"Okay, within reason." You laugh, "No sexy nuns this year."

You follow Laura around the store as she combs over the vast selection the store has. You're pretty sure Wade has dragged you into the biggest Spirit Halloween there was.

"What about this one?" Laura asks, her hands landing on one costume

"Hey, that's a great choice," Vanessa says, catching up to the two of you.

"Perfect." You nod in approval

"Can I get one of those fake knives that has the blood in it?" Laura asks eagerly, looking at you and then up at Logan.

Logan heaves a sigh but nods anyway and watches as Laura dashes off with Wade hot on her heels, dragging Vanessa with him as he chants something about being movie-accurate.

"Ghost Face?" Logan asked you hesitantly

"Hey, she can be Ghost Face all she wants. Just be glad she didn't pick the sexy nun or the hottie nurse one." You laugh

"She'd be leaving costumeless if she asked for anything like that." Logan chuckles

Your eyes widen as Laura pulls a sword half the size of her body out of a bin.

"I don't think he had a sword in the movie," Logan says

"Laura check this one out!" Wade exclaims as Vanessa turns away from her boyfriend and pretends she doesn't know him, he swings a large foam bat with fake wire on it, "Call me JDM the way I'm about to go Negan on everyone!"

You look over a few more costumes with Logan, not intending to buy anything but, some of them were just too funny not to look at. Seriously, were people actually walking around as an inflatable banana?

"Listen if you want to dress up, you can," Logan says from his place next to you, "My opinion doesn't matter."

"I don't know what I'd be." You say looking at a giant cookie monster suit

"I meant..." Logan glances around, most likely checking that Wade isn't anywhere near him, "We...We can do a couples costume if you want."

You turn to him in shock. Logan Howlett, The Wolverine, the most stoic man you knew, was suggesting a couple costume for Halloween?

"Are you serious right now?" You laugh

"Well," Logan smiles, wrapping his arms around you from behind, "Wade said there's this big Halloween Party at that nightclub we went to a few weeks back. You need a costume to get in though."

"You just want to drink." You roll your eyes

"Like you don't." Logan pinches your side

"Alright, Alright." You sigh, pushing his arms off you, "What are we going as since you suddenly want to be Mr. Life of the Party."

"Vanessa gave me an idea." Logan smiles, "I think you'll like it. It involves me showing off my biceps."

"I'm in."

You watched as Laura pulled the mask over her face, reluctantly posing for your camera.

"Can I please go?" She groans, oversized machete in hand

"Ok, ok." You say, "But you have to text me when you get back to Brooke's"

"I will," Laura says, tossing her backpack on her shoulders

"Do you have your charger? What about your toothbrush?" You ask as she walks to the door

"I have everything." She says, pulling the door open

"Alright, have fun," You say with a smile

"No boys!" Logan yells loudly from your shared bedroom. A short pause follows before he speaks again, "Or girls! Just...stay away from everyone!"

"I know!" She yells over her shoulder

You watch from the window as Laura gets into Brooke's parent's car and disappears down the road. You had agreed to Laura's pleading to go Trick or Treating and then have a sleepover with her friend from school. Logan had been hesitant but you coaxed him into it reminding she was virtually indestructible.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" You ask Logan who is for some strange reason, still getting dressed. It was nearly 8 and you still needed to go down the road to Wade and Vanessa.

"You're the one who said she'd be fine in the first place." Logan reasons

You push the bedroom door open to see Logan still fiddling with his costume.

"This is ridiculous." He says, "I look ridiculous."

"You're the one who picked it out!" You laugh as you look at him

"I didn't think it'd be this breezy." Logan huffs

Your eyes scan his burly figure. Tonight, the two of you were dressed as Meg and Hercules. A cute purple dress sat on your figure and you had even found some temporary dark purple hair dye for your hair. A strappy pair of heels sit on your feet and your makeup was soft and glittery. As for Logan, he was in a brown and gold Hercules costume.

You had to admit, he looked hot, He always did but there was something about his upper arms and the way they were squeezing out of that cheat costume he had picked.

"Don't you think this is too short?" Logan asks, motioning to the way the skirt portion of Hercules' costume fell to his mid-thigh

"Logan I have skirts shorter than that." You look at him in disbelief

"Yeah but..." Logan sighs, "I feel like my balls are hanging out."

"Oh my god." You run a hand over your face.

"I'm not joking!"

You let the diva...er Logan preen over his appearance some more and disappear into the bathroom to make sure your makeup is just the way you want it. You mess around with your hair, trying to decide on the perfect style, and hear a knock at the door. Expecting Laura or perhaps even Wade, you swipe a bit of lipgloss on and leave the bathroom to find Logan already answering.

"Wow, look at that, it's Hercules!" A woman's voice says

"Trick or Treat!" A chorus of little voices say

You watch, amused as Logan glances around your shared apartment. Neither of you had bothered to buy any candy, expecting to be out of here before the kids showed up. Your eyes widen when Logan grabs apples out of the fruit bowl on the table for the kids.

"Sorry, no candy." He huffs

"Why not?" One child dressed as an astronaut whines when he sees the apples

"I ate it all." Logan deadpans, "That's how I got so big."

You laugh to yourself as Logan flexes for the kids, who are laughing at him.

"But wouldn't that make you fat? Not muscly?" One asks

Your eyes fall on the woman, presumably the mother of the kids. You can tell she doesn't care what Logan hands her kids, hell, he'd probably get away with stealing one right now with the way her eyes were stuck on his arms.

"Alright, apples for everyone." You smile, wrapping your arm around Logan's, shooting a glare at the woman as you let Logan drop the apples into the bags, "Have a good night!"

Logan pushes the door shut and shoots you a knowing look, "Careful, you're going green over there."

"Shut up." You say

"It's nice to know you're jealous." Logan smirks

"Ugh, can you blame me? I can't have some other lady stealing you away." You huff as he pulls you in for a kiss

"Yeah well, with the way you're dressed right now." Logan looks down for a second, clearly trying to peer down your dress

"Perv." You whisper as he captures your lips again

"Just for you." He laughs into the kiss as his hands begin to roam down to your ass, "Wanna call Vanessa? Tell her we can't go?"

"Can't let them down." You say as his hands begin to bunch your dress up, his lips falling to your neck.

Logan sucks a mark into your skin that will surely need to be covered with makeup. You groan as he whispers into your ear, "It'll be more fun stayin' in with me, trust me, darling."

The sound of your front door being slammed open as you jump away from Logan, immediately on alert, your heart pounding.

"I knew it, they were busy making out." Vanessa teases as she and Wade enter

"Don't scratch, Peanut!" Wade says looking down at Logan's claws that have appeared, "Ha! Look at that!"

You glance down to where Wade is pointing at Logan's boner which the costume refuses to hide.

"Peter, or should I say, Vanessa, the horse is here!" Wade snorts a laugh, "What a fucking stallion! Pumpkin, you take that every night?! Gosh it's a miracle you can walk straight, I mean really it's-"

Wade doesn't get to finish as three gleaming silver claws have entered one side of his face and exited the other, "Not another word, you stupid piece of shit."

"Alright, Alright." You say, pulling Logan away from Wade, "You two go on, we'll meet you at the club."

You push Wade and Vanessa out of the apartment as Wade makes another dick joke, much to Logan's dismay.

You spin around as the door shuts and lock it with a flick of your hand. Logan sits on the couch a pillow in his lap as he rubs at his temples.

"Give me a few mintues, bub. We'll get goin' soon." He says not looking at you

"Who said we were going anywhere?" You smile, pushing the pillow off his lap, replacing it with yourself.

Logan gives you a look but doesn't object, resting his hands on your hips. His lips meet yours again, this time with a passion that had you shuddering. Oh, you were definitely going to be sore tomorrow.

Your hands ran over the biceps you loved so much and tugged at the costume, wanting it to disappear. Logan's hands dug into your soft skin, gently grinding you into his now-exposed underwear. Thank god for that stupid skirt.

"Happy Halloween, Logan." You, break the kiss, grinning mischievously

"Happy Halloween, darlin'. "

Guys I got struck down by a horrible cold and my period at the same time. 0/10, would not recommend, I am feeling a bit better today so I finished this part up, hope you enjoyed.

Back by popular demand, Ash pictures:

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[themostlesbianever]

ive decided to put all my thoughts in one post instead of a thousand

- ive said it before and ill say it again hen looks so damn good in those pants

- go eddie you can do it

- chim cant keep it steady, hes absolutely booking it to the hospital because you told him to get there THREE TIMES FASTER

- YES EDDIE GOOD JOB

- dad?

- i think i do like the moustache actually

- YES AMAZING FOSTER RECORD

- CHILD HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED FROM MY BABIES

- WHY ARENT THEY ALLOWED TO KEEP CONTACT WITH THE KID THAT YOU TOOK FROM THEM FOR NO FUCKING REASON

- hen babe i love the suit

- ALSO HEN DIDNT EVEN KNOW CHIM WAS GONNA FOSTER MARA FOR HER SO ITS NOT LIKE SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE OR ANYTHING

- yes hen come through

- karen babe you look so good

- WHAT THE FUCK

- STOP TORTURING MY BABIES

- YES BOBBY THAT IS YOUR HOUSE

- MICHEAL COMEBACK????

- PLS BRING MICHEAL BACK

- poor athena, so many memories in that house☹️

- I love those pants hen omg

- mara is adorable stop☹️☹️☹️

- FUCK YOU OLIVIA

- get over your son🙄

- no sorry thats insensitive but it was literally his own FUCKING FAULT HE REFUSED CARE😠😠😠

- hen deserves the world and you know it ortiz

- omg now i wish they had bodycams then so there was proof

- NO ORTIZ AND GERRARD ARE FRIENDS

- WHAT THE FUCK

- hen youre adorable look at her face

- YUP HEN TELL HIM

- BOBBY IS OUR CAPTAIN

- can we just kill off ortiz pls

- "he touches me" "🤨"

- all buck talks about is quitting😭

- CHRIS COME HOME

- omg bobby doesnt like the moustache

- omg eddie is gonna shave his moustache to get chris back im calling it now

- ALSO THIS IS A PARALEL TO WHEN BOBBY WAS PLANNING YHE WEDDING AND EVERYONE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT CHIM BEING CAPTAIN

- pitties always get si much hate but theyre the sweetest dogs☹️

- TIGER TIME

- *insert oliver saying tigah*

- that smell is a big kitty

- i love big kitties

- tigers are so pretty

- BABY TIGER

- they just gave gerrard a gun the fuck

- i say give eddie the gun, hes ex army

- chim you look so cool

- i wish we could see hen do a rope rescue (so i can see her in a harness)

- SHOOT IT NOW CHIM

- good job chim

- gerrard is a fan of the show😨

- I SAY SWITCH EM, PUT GERRARD AS THE TECHNICAL ADVISER

- OMG YES FIRE YOURSELF GERRARD

- why are you here eddie? whats going

- OH THATS THE TWISTED GUYS DAD

- shame on you mike😠

- cheerleading aint for the weak

- uh oh

- HOW IS HEN AN ENEMY SHES NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG

- FUCK OFF ORTIZ AND GERRARD

- FUCK ALL OF YOU

- GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE 118 BITCHES

- this is stressful

- lets not break wilson please🙏

- you are a lot alike, youre both fucking bitches

- if there was no evil woman behind it shutting down the 118 makes no sense, if it was simply for budget cuts. The 118 is like the best firehouse out there no? so why shut them down

(yes i know its because that bitch is evil)

- hen baby i love your outfits

- god damn, put me in this show so i can hit this bitch

- OMG YEA

- FUCK YEAH HEN

- OH BODY CAMS TO THE RESCUE

- YES OMG YES OMG YES

- YES HEN

- OMG BOBBY THE MAN YOU ARE

- YES BOBBY FLIPPED GERRARD

- I LOVE THESE PEOPLE IM GONNA CRY

- OMG MARA IS HOME

- AND WE GOT TANKTOP HEN OH MY LORDDD🫠🫠

- fuck me hen looks so good in tanktops i need her

- look at her arms

- jesus christ denny is tall

- WELCOME BACK CAP

- OMG THEY DID THE THING I SAID

- THEY SWITCHED BOBBY AND GERRARD

- I SAID THEY SHOULD DO THAT AND THEY DID

[ireallylovepuppies101]

Cat-Dad AU 4

Part 4!!!

Years go by. The boys grow up pretty happy. They become older cousins when Nora has Inky and Winky, and a few years later Oswald and Ortensia announce that they’re going to be parents. Everyone would be thrilled for them, and also blown away over how they have 420 baby bunnies. Safe to say Felix returns the favor of the two of them babysitting so often by helping them raise the bunnies with the boys.

Bendy and Boris get dubbed Big Brothers by the bunny kids, and they absolutely love all of them with all their hearts. They even know all the bunny kids by name and can tell them apart with how much they and Felix spend time with them.

As they grew up Bendy and Boris also went on a few adventures with Felix. Albeit the safer ones, because Felix isn’t about to take them on a trip he knows will leave them traumatized. This results in Bendy and Boris growing up learning a lot of different languages, and even having some friends they write to when they’re home.

Things go pretty okay for a while, but then they get, complicated, when Bendy’s roughly 16.

Ortensia gets sick. She tries to hide it from the kids to avoid scaring them, but Bendy at one point was spending time with her when she had a rather painful looking coughing fit and coughed out a black substance into her handkerchief, which alarmed Bendy quite a bit as he called out for Oswald and his Dad for help.

The circus crew make plans to leave and look into finding a cure for Ortensia when doctors have no idea how to help. Before leaving, Ortensia pulls Felix aside to talk to him privately. “You’re an amazing friend Felix, you’ve done so much for my family, and we grew to love you and your family as well. Oswald and I care so much about you… and I know how much you’ve held back for us because you care for us as well.”

Felix’s stomach drops, knowing what Ortensia is implying. He’d try apologizing to her but she stops him. “I don’t blame you Felix, Oswald is an amazing man. What matters is that you value our friendship and happiness more than your own feelings… Which is why I need you to promise me, that you make sure Oswald is as happy as he can be, and to watch over our family for me if things don’t go as we hope.”

Speechless as he processes what Ortensia is asking of him, Felix can’t help himself as he pulls Ortensia into a tight hug. “I promise, as long as you promise to do your best to come back to us.”

As they all bid each other goodbye, Boris asks Ortensia if she’ll be okay. The cat woman simply gives both Boris and Bendy forehead kisses and hugs both of them, saying that everything will be okay. Bendy notices she didn’t specifically say SHE’LL be okay, but doesn’t comment on it for Boris’ sake as the two hug their mother figure goodbye.

During the time the Circus crew are gone, Wilson leaves for work. Promising the boys and Felix he’d call often to tell them about what he’s been up to and catch up with all of them.

Bendy and Boris at the time fall into a bit of a routine. While their dad works, Bendy and Boris finish their home school work for the day, hang out around town or at the college (due to Wilson working there Bendy and Boris get special access, or sometimes work odd jobs helping other teachers there) and then go home to help Felix prepare dinner then spend family time together before bed. Though a certain girl shakes up that routine.

Holly May learns about Bendy and Boris coming to the college she’s attending to either work or spend time at the library, and knows all too well how they’re the sons of one of her favorite authors. So, one day, she tries to introduce herself to them in hopes of sparking a friendship.

It works, sorta. She was a bit overly bold with her introduction and caught Bendy and Boris so by surprise that she startled the two of them quite a bit, made them bump into the bookshelf they were checking out, and Bendy had to scramble to stop the bookshelves from toppling over like dominos. Still resulted in books falling all over the floor when Bendy caught the tipping shelf, and the librarian kicking them out. Safe to say Bendy didn’t like Holly at first thinking she was just trying to get something out of them because their dad is famous, though thankfully Boris would be more willing to accept her apology for the situation and ask her if she wants to come with them to get lunch.

They all over time become close enough where Holly gets invited to their house for dinner and meets Felix in person, Felix thinks Holly is a very sweet girl and is glad his boys made friends with her. Though he finds himself parenting her a bit when he sometimes supervises her and his boys studying and testing runes, patching her up when those tests get unexpectedly dangerous, and occasionally dropping off a bagged lunch for her when he swings by the college because he knows he would have forgotten to eat if he didn’t have baby/toddler Bendy around who would make it loud and clear that it was time to eat.

Her coming over for dinner would start becoming a regular thing, So Holly would be there when Bendy opens the door and sees his Dad on the phone. He’d be ready to greet him, until he gets a good look at his dad’s face.

Horror, and grief as tears stain the fur on Felix’s face.

When he notices the boys and Holly staring at him in concern, Felix quickly tells the person over the phone that he has to go, and wishes them a safe trip home before hanging up and turning to his kids.

With a heavy heart, he tells Bendy and Boris Mickey and the others are coming back, and that Ortensia is gone.

Boris would be devastated. Crying his heart out as Felix holds him tightly and tries to comfort his youngest son. Bendy would look like he’s in shock, trying his best to comfort Boris as well, while Holly keeps a hand firmly placed on his shoulder and rubs Boris’ back as he cries. Clearly no one would be in the mood to cook that night, so Holly offers to go pick up some dinner while the boys stay with their dad. Bendy insists on going with her since it’s getting dark out. Though worried about his oldest son, Felix lets him go and tells the two of them to be careful and hurry back.

The walk would be tense, and quiet. Holly would be trying to think of what to say, but she didn’t know Ortensia like the boys and Felix did. She’d keep trying to think of what she would have wanted to hear when her father passed, but before she can think of anything, seemingly out of nowhere, with his eyes glowing red, Bendy straight up punches a brick wall hard enough to leave a mark, and to cut up/bruise his fist on the rough material.

Holly would clearly see the tears wanting to spill from Bendy’s eyes, so instead of saying something, Holly stays quiet as she pulls Bendy into a tight hug. It doesn’t take long for her to feel her shirt getting wet with tears as Bendy trembles and hugs her back while muttering swear words through his muffled sobs.

When they get back with the food Felix doesn’t seem all that surprised to see Bendy’s bloody fist wrapped up in a handkerchief, instead he asks Holly to stay with Boris as he takes Bendy to the bathroom to wrap up his wound properly, and to comfort him in private.

And on that oh so happy note that totally didn’t make me cry while writing it, it’s time for the funfacts!

-One of the people Bendy and Boris are penpals with is a nice girl in china named Mulan. She and her family let them and their Dad stay at their home during their time in their country. She taught them how to play games she grew up with, how to make some of her favorite foods, taught them things about her culture, etc. The three of them had fun together and stayed in touch for many years.

-The reason the boys are homeschooled is because attending school didn’t really go well for Bendy. When he was younger Felix showed up because he forgot Bendy’s lunch at home, but found his son sitting in the corner during class reading while all the other kids were together. When he asked Bendy why he was sitting alone, Bendy responded “My Teacher says I’m not allowed to talk to the other kids.” Took every bit of willpower in Felix to put on a smile for Bendy to tell him to wait right there as he went to talk to the teacher and principal. Bendy isn’t at all phased as he hears a lot of commotion from his Dad’s “talk” in the hallway (he’s dealt with louder and crazier stuff thanks to growing up around a few zany family members). So instead of putting Bendy through that again, Felix decides to homeschool his sons. Frankly they learn more due to growing up around a college anyways.

-Holly appreciates Felix looking out for her. Heck he even reminds her of her own dad, which at one point she’d tell him that. Felix in return smiles and tells her that he bets her father would be really proud of the woman she’s becoming. That results in Holly tearing up and hugging Felix tightly as Felix hugs her back.

-Bendy and Boris’ outfits would be a bit different in this AU. Not sure how different yet, but I do imagine Boris wearing a bandana that Ortenisa made out of an old scarf she doesn’t wear anymore, and Bendy having a vest that used to be an old jacket of his Dad’s. It was made into a vest due to one of Felix’s adventures resulting in one or both of the sleeves getting ripped off.

-After Ortensia passed Bendy made pins that looked like her favorite flower in her memory. Boris wears his on the bandana Ortensia made for him, Felix keeps his safely inside Magic Bag so he doesn’t lose it due to his adventures, and Bendy wears his on the inside of his vest. Staring at it sometimes when he thinks about her.

[augustheart]

fuck it stargirl episode ranking. yes! all thirty-nine of them!

3x03 "the blackmail": i don't have a cool justification i'm sorry i just love the crocks and i think the fight scene is fantastic. i don't even care that we can see the stuntpeople's faces it's absolutely delightful to me.

1x08 "shiv part two": ultimate comfort episode for me. what if two autistic people had to go undercover? what if a woman tried to fuck a man under a sink? just a few of the many questions asked by this episode

2x04 "summer school chapter four": crusher and paula should be allowed to do whatever they want. also the scene where dickie gets in an argument with a child in a bookstore is pretty good

1x11 "shining knight": this is the best episode of the show. like full stop. this is the best one. it isn't the highest rated on imdb. it isn't my favorite. but it is 100% the best episode of the series.

3x12 "the last will and testament of sylvester pemberton": i have probably Never gone crazier at an episode of television in my life. getting to the ending is excruciating because the first chunk is a "pat experiences ableism" simulator but oh baby. when the musical sting hits it hits

1x02 "s.t.r.i.p.e.": this episode is nearly perfect. why is there a two minute long one-take sequence in the middle of it? don't ask questions

1x01 "stargirl"/"pilot": this is one of the best cape show pilots of all time. i think doom patrol's is better but it's easily on the flash pilot level, probably higher. tells you everything you need to know: courtney rules. pat has autism. if you celebrate christmas you WILL die of supervillains attacking you. what more can you ask for

2x03 "summer school chapter three": mike should be allowed to do whatever he wants whenever. you can tell how much fun everyone had shooting this so even if luke wilson is Not looking at his mark in the slightest it's still good.

1x10 "brainwave jr": i get why this is the highest ranked episode on imdb but it is funny that it set the tone for james robinson writing episodes where he kills people in a tunnel. the scene at the beginning with barb where she's struggling not to break down is an under-appreciated bit that is so fucking good.

1x03 "icicle": the tonal shift is great. i wish hootie had come back.

1x05 "hourman and doctor mid-nite": ending scene alone puts this here. thank you cameron gellman

1x06 "the justice society": i really like it when crusher throws paula as a weapon at a group of children

2x06 "summer school chapter six": the fight choreography is off the charts. i wish that isaac's actor knew how to act and eclipso didn't run away like that.

2x08 "summer school chapter eight": oh my g-d. oh my g-d. jesus christ. oh my fucking g-d

2x02 "summer school chapter two": dickie's entrance to the show means that despite how unmoved i am by much of this episode i will forever adore it. he is so deeply weird from second one.

3x02 "the suspects": i could watch dickie make fun of anybody for hours at a time

3x07 "infinity inc part one": i could watch dickie make fun of anybody for hours at a time

3x08 "infinity inc part two": i could watch dickie make fun of anybody for hours at a time. also CARCHARO MENTIONED

2x11 "summer school chapter eleven": courtney clapping at cindy and going "AND HOW DID THAT GO FOR YOU?" about controlling eclipso after they both get stuck in the monster dimension is one of the funniest scenes in the show

3x13 "the reckoning": way better finale than other cape shows, which is fortunate for me and unfortunate for those other shows. just a really nice sendoff. i like that they bring it full circle by having kids murder someone in this one, too.

1x07 "shiv part one": the fight choreography in the courtney/cindy fight is so good. i think it's overlooked because it's a 1v1 fight but that spinning long take is really fantastic imo and i love the setting of the school gym outfitted for the dance.

1x04 "wildcat": yolanda baby :(

2x09 "summer school chapter nine": yet another episode that's a "pat experiences ableism" simulator and it is upsetting to watch but also john wesley shipp is there and it's quite well done all around. points detracted because whatever his name is that plays cameron can't act to save his life and his scene partner (an actual teenager) is absolutely killing it

3x01 "the murder": extremely good episode i love my friends i genuinely smile so big thinking about it

1x12 "stars and s.t.r.i.p.e. part one": i want to fuck crusher so bad for that garage scene and that's why it ranks higher than the s1 finale

1x13 "stars and s.t.r.i.p.e. part two": what if there was a liberalification beam.

3x11 "the haunting": obviously the setup of this episode makes me want to punch walls but artemis' screaming and breakdown at the end puts this a cut above other episodes

2x07 "summer school chapter seven": YOLANDA BABY :(

2x01 "summer school chapter one": i can't stop thinking about that person on reddit who accidentally watched this episode first and was like "why is the show so bad at exposition" not realizing it's because they didn't see season one

1x09 "brainwave": good episode ranked this low because of the evil dinner scene being one of the worst things put to film

2x10 "summer school chapter ten": dickie is really good in this but i'm not a huge fan of this conflict for pat and courtney. however i do enjoy pat getting heated for once

2x12 "summer school chapter twelve": pat torturing matt rules and i like when beth and charles metaphorically type on the same keyboard to hack something faster

3x10 "the killer": fine episode. ranked this low because the last four minutes of it never aired and definitely don't make me listen to classic decemberists song "we both go down together" on repeat

2x13 "summer school chapter thirteen": jakeem rules mike rules rick calling in a buddy to fight for him rules but i don't care about eclipso

3x04 "the evidence": we're getting into episodes i don't really care for. i do like charles though

3x09 "the monsters": i don't care about dctv cameron

3x06 "the betrayal": i don't care about dctv cameron. however pat enjoying lutefisk is good

3x05 "the thief": i don't care about dctv cameron

2x05 "summer school chapter five": It's Just Not A Very Good Episode Guys i don't know what more you want from me

if you read through all of this thanks. several of these are actually tied with each other to be honest so if parts of this seem interchangeable, that's why.

[jennawynn]

Chronotrek TOS to series finale

oops, I did it again... I forgot to update. got lost in the sauce. or something.

Honestly, I thought I had been updating at least once a season, but I guess not. Also got distracted binging the entire series of The Expanse in about a week over the holidays. BUT I just finished the Original Series. So I guess we'll go broad strokes since the play by play is pointless.

TLDR: How fucking disappointing an end.

Season 2-

Unlike much of TOS to new!Trek, T'Pring is spot on for appearance. Not that I think it's important or even a _good_ thing for most of them to be beholden to the original, but I was impressed by that. Though the whole 'property of the victor' thing is very squicky. I thought the Vulcans were 'evolved'. And then I guess he didn't gotta fuck after all.

By 2, Uhura's actually doing work. She's not just eye candy on the bridge. But then they have Jim say that finding a girl on the ship is losing an officer. Because women can't fucking exist without being partnered and can't be partnered and still work. This bullshit was actually still happening in the Navy when I was in. Men were unwilling to invest time and training in women because we'd just get married and get out to have babies anyway where a man is likely to stay in and retire. The men in my class in boot camp were told by their instructors that women join to find men, not because we actually wanted to serve or excel.

8- (Jim across the intercom) Scotty! Scotty! Stop getting your ass kicked and respond so I can tell you there's an intruder in your area! Scotty! Scotty, respond!

I hate this so much. Like when Jim and Uhura were in cells and the dude was obviously assaulting her and Jim kept shouting 'what's happening? are you ok? what's happening? what are you doing? are you ok?' like Jim, ffs, use some context clues, some deductive reasoning, and stop shouting for people to acknowledge you and DO SOMETHING.

Rainn Wilson was a good choice for Mudd in New!Trek though.

Why would they have to pay royalties? I thought this was post-currency? Post-scarcity? Is there still money?

9- This one was also squicky. So obsessed with gender. Body takeover, "love" that isn't recognized as such until it's wearing a pretty face. But of course one is a man and one is perceived as a woman so therefore let's change everything we thought so we can stay together and call it love.

10- Amanda's a pretty good reconstruction too, if aged down in New!Trek.

14- I wasn't expecting them to go the "Jack the Ripper is an immortal alien" route.

It always cracks me up when they cut to a super wide angle shot of a fight to sub in stunt doubles who are really obvious, though I suppose they wouldn't have been on a 60s tv.

19 Heeeey Dr. M'Benga!

This whole thing with the exotic witch women and how sexual she is and how she's dressed. Like that's not dumb enough, she lets herself get grappled more than once posturing with the phaser but defaulting to the dagger. Shoot one and they'd fall in line! But gotta keep reinforcing the idea that men are stronger than women.

21- Jim's look of indignation at Spock's statement that he would fit right in as a Nazi lmao

22- I don't know why I never realized that Trek is all (at least so far) in the Milky Way, that they don't even get as far as Andromeda.

26- so they can just. time travel. at will. what?

Season 3

3- hold up, roll that back. there's an ancient pregenitor superrace that seeded humanoids everywhere? This is the first I recall it being mentioned in Trek (though the trope or a version of it is also in the expanse, mass effect, etc.) "Preservers". Is it ever explored more? It's a surprise to Bones and maybe Spock too- certainly not common knowledge.

This is from before 3, but I really like the way Bones and Spock have this begrudgingly respectful relationship, like brothers. They tease and pick at each other, but have each others' backs against anything (besides Jim maybe)

4- Kirk can see the kid doing the thing. Fuckin' ground him.

Spock says fuck them kids.

Ugly = Bad was alive and well in the 60s.

5- And then they somehow have a discussion that Good =/= Beautiful in the very next episode.

Gen Obs- It feels like TOS spends more time on the bridge than other shows. The Bridge or the planet they're on. The other shows so far show more engine room, hallways, ready rooms, bunks, etc. Other places on the ship than just the bridge. They have them in TOS, but they seem underutilized. I don't have the data to back it up and couldn't find it (which was surprising to me).

Another obs- they overcommunicate for the audience's sake, but rarely with each other. Kirk never explains his thought process or orders to the people he leaves in command. When something planetside affects the ship, he doesn't tell them, he just says 'I'll take care of it down here'. His crew and his backup are often left in the dark.

13- There's so much in this one I don't like but the line about Kirk being into spanking made me smirk. Canonically in love with the Enterprise indeed.

14- Jim: Mr. Spock and I are brothers! Spock: Captain Kirk is speaking figuratively and with undue emotion Kirk: *offended face* Spock: However, what he says is logical and I do agree with it.

19 Kirk did seem to become more of a manwhore the longer the season went, no? Why did they all lose their shit so much around women? It's exhausting.

22- I love that Scotty gets to wear tartan/kilt in dress uniform.

heeeyyyy Kahless

24- And the disappointing end. In this idolized utopian setting, not only is it not permitted for a woman to be a starship captain, but then they "prove" that women are too emotional to command.

The last line of the whole series: "Her life could have been as rich as any woman's if only...."

Not as rich as any person's. And if only she'd been content to her 2nd class status and not pushed for equality. How fucking disappointing.

Everyone always points to 'the actresses WANTED to wear miniskirts because empowerment' when they talk about the sexism of the original series, and I tried to watch with that in mind, but that just feels like a smoke screen for the actual shitty sexist takes.

The show equates a woman with emotion and sexuality. She's a good officer right up until she falls in love (or someone falls in love with her), then she's just a woman- a liability and a pleasure object. They only use women in episodes that require someone to be or fall in love with them. Even Uhura and Chapel aren't completely immune, though they are the biggest exceptions and the only recurring female characters. Though of course Uhura's the comms officer (cause women talk) and Chapel's a nurse (not a doctor).

Like even if you remove the miniskirts and the gross inappropriate touching from the equation, there's still a lot of ick happening. They can imagine a future where the races are equal but not the sexes.

[janeykath318]

Steve’s Christmas Miracle END

Their kiss was everything she’d ever dreamed of when she’d crushed on Steve so long ago and she very quickly forgot about feeling cold when he wrapped his arms around her and deepened it. Her toes curled.

“Well, that was definitely worth waiting for eighty years for,” she gasped out when they’d finally come up for air.

Steve chuckled and pulled her close to him.

“Sure was,” he agreed. “By the way, you look incredibly beautiful and Christmasy. Green is a great color on you.”

“Thank you. Natasha helped me pick it out. The woman has an eye for fashion.”

Darcy snuggled closer to him.

“So tell me, Steve. What are your plans for Christmas?”

“I didn’t have any plans this afternoon, but spending time with you sounds pretty good. Tomorrow, I’m going to fly down to Louisiana to spend time with Sam and Bucky. You should come too.”

“I’d love to, if they’re okay with it. Don’t want to impose.”

“Impose? They’ll be completely over the moon. Bucky will be a bit confused, but he’ll roll with it. I think he’s gonna ask Sarah to marry him! I’m just waiting on the official word.”

“That’s awesome! I know the powers that be have been working hard to get those two together,” Darcy said. “He probably doesn’t feel like it, but the angels are very much watching over Bucky. His sister is very invested.”

Steve’s eyes softened and he pressed a kiss on Darcy’s forehead.

“You’ve a lifesaver, Darcy. I’ll warn you that I am very much a work in progress and I can be a stubborn asshole at times.”

“So can I,” Darcy chuckled. “But right now, I have a hankering for hot chocolate. Care to hook a lady up? It’s been eighty years!”

Steve laughed and stood up, tugging Darcy with him.

“I’d be happy to.”

They were making goofy faces at each other over their cups of hot chocolate when Steve’s phone dinged and his eyes lit up as he read the text.

“She said yes!”

“Yay!!” Darcy cheered as Steve showed her the picture Bucky had sent of the happy couple.

“Aww, they’re so cute! I can’t wait to meet her. Bucky finally found the right one, bless him.”

“Let’s give Bucky a little surprise, shall we?” Steve suggested, holding up his phone in front of them.

“Oh, is this what they call a selfie?” she asked eagerly. Darcy had been doing her research on technology advances and was very interested in the fancy new phones. She was definitely gonna ask Steve to show her the ropes.

“Yep,” Steve confirmed. “He’ll flip his shit.”

Darcy grinned evilly.

“This is going to be a Christmas to remember,” she declared.

“Our Christmas Miracle,” Steve agreed.

Meanwhile in Louisiana:

In the midst of the happy chaos after the big proposal, Sam’s phone chimed with a text from Steve. His eyes widened.

“Hey, Sarah, Steve wants to know if he can bring a plus one!”

Sarah and Bucky managed to drag their eyes away from each other.

“Did you say plus one?” Bucky asked in disbelief.

“Of course! It’s about time that man found a good partner,” Sarah exclaimed. “The more the merrier. Man or woman?”

“Woman,” Sam answered, as he got the picture Steve sent. Bucky’s phone chimed too and his jaw dropped as he shook his head in stunned amazement.

“I can’t believe it,” he breathed. “Stevie got himself a girlfriend after all this time. No wonder he was so happy on the phone this morning.”

He showed Sarah the picture and she smiled her approval.

“She’s gorgeous and looks like she can handle his old man quirks.” She winked at Bucky when she said this and he made a fake pouty face. “You know I love my men, but it will be nice to have another woman around to balance out the testosterone a bit.”

She gave Bucky a peck on the nose. “Though you are pretty cute yourself, baby.”

“Not nearly as cute as you,” Bucky murmured back.

Sam rolled his eyes and beckoned to his nephews.

“Let’s get out of here and try out the new drones. This lovebird stuff is making me sick.”

Christmas was extra merry in the Wilson house that year.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Caro's July 2023 Book Rec Wrap Up

I can't believe this month is over. It's been rough out here, and I'm not feeling great still, but reading always offers a bit of respite.

I feel like my tastes were fairly varied this month. I loved dipping more into fantasy romance, and I really hope to see more of it published soon!

Tastes like Shakkar by Nisha Sharma. ARC; full review here

Marry Me by Midnight by Felicia Grossman. ARC; full review here.

The Winter King by C.L. Wilson.

Ugh, just an amazing book. Exactly what I want from a high fantasy romance: a fun world full of magic and court politics; a couple forced together by circumstance and distrusting one another while also being super attracted to each other; a powerful hero and a kickass heroine. High stakes! Passion! Twists and turns! There are ice powers in this, lightning powers, bangathons on a bearskin rug, the intense need for an Heir (otherwise known as: breeding vibes), the possibility that the hero might just throw the heroine out onto a glacier. People feel feelings and refuse to cop to them because trauma. I had so much fun. A must read. (As is The Sea King, but generally speaking I would say reading them in order is a good idea.)

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian.

Cat Sebastian just does what she wants, and I appreciate that so much. How many historical romances are a) set in the 1950s and b) centered on a pair of opposite-personality male reporters living together (as friends!) after one of them gets dumped by his fiancee? There is so much fucking tension built between Nick and Andy. And so much fondness too, with practical Nick basically making sure that Andy doesn't trip and fall down a proverbial flight of stairs at any given moment. It's funny, it's a little angsty without being overwhelming, and it's so, so tender.

An Earl to Remember by Stacy Reid. ARC; full review here.

Servant to the Spidae by Ruby Dixon.

This is the fourth in Dixon's Aspects and Anchors series, and in many ways it's basically a novella, though she doesn't categorize it as such. It's closer to the length of her Ice Planet Barbarians books than the previous novels in this series, and it's basically a feel your feelings plotless love story about a former sex worker falling in love with the three creepy spider gods (very human-looking, but they.... shoot web...........) she's pledged herself to in service. It's a lot of sex, a lot of emotion, and while swords do not cross, there is a scene in which every hole is filled. It's what you want out of this kind of story (though I will say, I don't loooove how this series deals with Yulenna's status as a sex worker, and never have; it's not egregious, but it's clumsy).

The Making of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

I love love love several of Braden's Rescued from Ruin (straight up English Regency, connected to this series) series, but I do think it went on for a bit too long and the heroines especially became repetitive. That's why I didn't rush to begin her Midnight in Scotland series. I am glad that I took the break, because I went into this fresh, and I found it so strong. It's funny, it's got just the right amount of angst, it's a bit bonkers, the hero is absolutely deranged for his heroine.. Like John Huxley is starving. It's what you want out of a lighter (but not too light) historical romance. Special shoutouts to a fabulous Pretty Woman homage, and one of the best "Oh I WANT her" realizations I've read in a long time.

The Taming of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

Ugh, so good! I love a scarred hero, especially if he's a former golden boy, and this novel deals with Broderick's trauma and scars so well. It does take a little longer to get into the love story than the previous book, but once it kicks into gear, it really goes for the full nine yards. You have batshit shenanigans, a heroine who literally watches this man's erection get bigger and bigger through his pants while she talks about how many babies she's willing to give him, and mortal peril. This series gives such good Scotland content. Also? It's hilarious. The heroine literally bops into this guy's bedroom with breakfast singing a made-up song about his dick coming out to play. She's thrilled.

The Basilisk of Star Manor by Kathryn Moon.

I really liked this little novella, my first basilisk book. And I loved the heroine--a blind, virginal woman who's decided to become a sex worker for monsters. There is a lot of descriptive dirty talk, sensation play, orgasms on horseback... But it's all surprisingly sweet. I had a good time. Also, effective use of a monster tail!

The Temptation of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

I am nothing if not a sucker for "Scottish Man Big" historicals, and this is nothing if not that. It may or may not be the first historical I've read wherein the heroine has a psycho stalker, and that does give way to an excellent bodyguard romance. Clarissa's inability to say anything without letting slip a double entendre is classic Elisa Braden hilarity, and while there are some quibbles I have with the story... It's just so old school, in a way. I mean, they have shared sex dreams. What's not to like about that?

The Wrong Guy by Kate Canterbary.

I feel like I'm the only person in the world who didn't love In a Jam, but this book was a total turn around for me. Snappy, snarky, super sexy contemporary enemies to lovers with a 39 year old heroine and a 42 year old hero. I mean... come on. The hate sex is legit, the feelings are even more so once they develop (and they don't develop instantly) and it feels like these are real people with flaws and dreams and pain and love. Also, she gets her period during one sex scene and he's like "what do you think I am??? A child???" and just. Goes to town.

One Season with the Duke by Addy Du Lac.

A fun, emotional, and super romantic interracial historical romance, and the rare friends to lovers book that works for me. I think this book's quality is a testament to why it is important to build a world within your historical romance. While I'm not a stickler for accuracy by any means, having the sense of the Scottish with this book really added to its overall sense of space and stakes. And ultimately, it was just heartwarming to see two people sort of brought together by necessity working to make a life with one another.

Since the Surrender by Julie Anne Long.

A rare book in which the couple knows each other because they cheated together while her husband was alive! Cheating is probably a strong-ish word--I mean, they did make out, but otherwise it was largely an emotional thing, and temptation. But it makes the beef real (because our hero actually super liked and respected said dead husband) when these two come back together, and the tension is thick. There's a bit of a mystery and a bit of an adventure, and ultimately two people desperately trying to convince themselves that they don't want to jump into bed together at a moment's notice. NICE.

A Lesson in Thorns by Sierra Simone.

I mean... Good God. Sierra is really making her own specific space in romance, and I respect it so fucking much. She knows what she's about, she's uncompromising in her vision, and she just goes balls to the wall. This is like... an occult... romance? Fantasy? Paranormal? Definitely super erotic, and not a little dark. Oh, and there's an orgy. And over half of our six-person group is made up of virgins (though uh, we're down to one virgin left standing by the end). It's intensely emotional and the ties that bind and the messages left unsaid are thick. I am fucking hooked, and a bit blown away.

[navstuffs]

Evacuation Drill

Pairing:  Firefighter! Steve Rogers x GenderNeutral!Reader

Warnings: cursing, shy steve, AU, no use of Y/N

Summary: You never understood the thrill of firefighters anyway. What was so sexy about a man in a uniform?

Authors notes: im back on writing (sorta??). i had a couple of rough months, but i decided to take baby steps on writing again. i have had this fanfic in my head for a few days based on a tiktok by @cullenriley. i have plans for a second part of this, but idk when it will come out. gif credits to the owner.

Part 2

You never understood the thrill of firefighters. What was so sexy about a man in uniform? You liked men, thank you very much, but never understood your friend's craziness for a firefighter. They were real-life heroes, risking their lives every day to save people they have never met before. To find them attractive in such a life and death situation? What was so attractive in a human being going inside a building on fire? You just couldn't see them like that.

Until your almost-best-friend Sam Wilson called you, asking for help in a firefight exercise.

-x-

Sam was friends with you since High School and his decision to become a firefighter did worry you a lot. Sam tried to ease your worries, arguing that it was something he always wanted to do. He sent you pictures always showing his survival but that didn't help. One day, he decided to call you asking if you wanted to be a volunteer in an exercise in the corp.

"Don't worry, it will be fine. We won't put anyone in actual danger. It will be done supervised by our Lieutenants."

"Sam, I don't know..."

"It is on a Friday and by volunteering, you can slip away from work. Come on, I’m sure with your new important job you need a night off anyway."

You huffed, rolling your eyes. Sam was right. Being on Friday would give a three-day weekend. Didn't sound that bad.

"Fine. I will be there."

"Awesome! Be here at 9 am, I will text you the place. I’m sure you will have lots of fun!"

Oh, you bet you would.

-x-

So there you were at exactly 9 am. You entered the Testing Site and it seemed as a place specifically made for planned disaster. There were trainwrecks, buildings partially destroyed, and more fake disasters. What in the hell did you set yourself into? Entering the main building, you were received by a beautiful red-haired woman with a more casual firefighter uniform.

"Morning, I came to volunteer...Natasha." You greeted her, reading her name, receiving a huge smile. 

"Good Morning. What is your name?" Natasha wrote your name on a paper, writing something else down putting the cord around your neck.

It read "Cut bleeding profusely in the forehead, broken leg." Natasha also handed you a huge jacket tainted of what seemed dried blood. You looked at her intrigued.

"It is for realism. Not real blood and won't damage your clothes, I promise." 

You put the jacket around, thanking her and joining the rest of the volunteers, all with the same bloody clothes. Everyone seemed to be reading each other's papers. You let your eyes wander around, seeing someone missing a leg, missing a hand, someone with a bad concussion, and someone who was hit by a wall and had no apparent pulse. Well, this was going great.

"Morning, volunteers. Good morning!" There was a man with an eye patch walking into the room, followed closed by Natasha and another pretty lady. 

"We want to appreciate you coming out here today! I am Captain Nick Fury and this exercise will represent a building that is about to collapse after an explosion on the upper floors. You will be completely safe during the whole exercise, but there might be some fog. I will be the instructor with Lt. Maria Hill and Lt. Natasha Romanoff. They will take you into different groups and positioning you in strategic places. Again, you don't have to worry about your safety, you will be safe at all times. There are panic buttons in each room that will warn us we need help. Anyone has any questions? No? Now, if you follow Hill and Romanoff."

You followed the Lieutenant through another door, going to an open space that had a tall building, probably three floors. It looked destroyed like all the others. Maria and Natasha separated their teams and you followed Natasha to the last floor, being the last person she positioned in the last room. The room you were in looked like a living room, partially destroyed and you laid down behind a destroyed bookshelf, hiding from the entrance as Natasha showed you where the panic button was and asked if you had any questions.

"Can I nap?"

"Well, you can try. " She laughed "There will be a lot of loud noises all over. Also remember, if anything, press the panic button. But you are safe, okay?”

"If Sam doesn't come to get me I will kill him." You replied, getting more comfortable.

"Sam? As in Sam Wilson? He put you into this?"

"Yeah. Anything for a friend, you know?"

"I see. It will be done before you know it. Relax and enjoy the show."

You laughed as the door clicked shut. Relaxing a little bit, you were upset they didn’t let you bring a book or your phone. Believing or not, this was better than having a crazy day at work. Your boss probably had to deal with your co-workers all alone and everything a mess while you were relaxing behind a bookshelf...

-x-

Safe to say you did nap. A little. You were very tired from a stressful week of work and felt completely safe during the whole test, except for that annoying fog that represented a fire. There was no noise for a while so you dozed off peacefully until a loud bang in a nearby room, woke you up. It seemed to be coming from the room to your side, as you heard other loud voices speaking.

"There is that other room as well. Who is gonna check that?" a loud commanding voice that sounded like Natasha’s roared.

"On it."

When you finally realized heavy footsteps were coming in your direction, you decided to close your eyes. Wait, is that it said in your paper? Did you have to be unconscious?

There was some rustling with the door and when it opened you decided to keep your eyes open. You had a cut in your forehead and a broken leg. No reason to be passed out right?

"Anyone here?" A masculine voice shouted.

Should you answer? Of course, you weren't unconscious for fuck's sake.

"Here." Your voice came out weak against the whole noise in the room to the side. He probably wouldn't hear you, leaving you there to press the Panic button when it was all over and Sam laugh at your face. Typical awkward you.

The tallest man you have ever seen came to your left and you forgot to breathe for a few seconds. He walked towards you, full firefighter uniform, mask, a confident stride even though everything around you seemed pure chaos.

"Hello, my name is Steve Rogers. I am here to help you." Steve Rogers's voice came out calm as he kneeled near you. Even in that mess, you could see his attentive blue eyes scanning your body, bringing a chill down your spine. You found no voice to answer as he checked your "bloody" forehead.

"Does anywhere hurt?" He tried again, his eyes focused on you.

"My leg, I think it is broken."

Steve touched your leg and you winced on instinct. His mind seemed racing as he looked out to the door, knowing he didn't have enough time to take you out of there before the building collapsed. Bucky and Sam were working on a mom and two kids in the room to your side and he couldn't leave you there.

"Here, let me help you sit down." Steve helped you sit in an upright position. His eyes scanned the door again as he heard Natasha's voice warn that there were less than five minutes now as the whole floor seemed to be emptying. Okay, he had to do this.

"You are alright there, Steve?" He heard Bucky's voice sound from outside.

"Yeah. Everyone out?"

"Yes! You with someone in there? Need some help?"

Steve put his arms around your body, lifting you as if you were light as a feather in the most gentle way as possible, due to your broken leg probably, and walking towards the door to what you assumed was his colleague.

"I got it. Let's get out of here."

Bucky went in front and you saw what you thought was Natasha as you passed the now empty corridor. Steve was trying to be kind to you as he went down the building faster than you did although he was heavier than you, carrying you and all his oxygen tank. That was so impressive. Those men and women were so powerful and so fearless. You hid your face against his shoulder, your arm holding tightly around his neck as you felt your insides burning. That was so exciting and sexy at the same time. You were going to kill Sam Wilson.

"You holding up for me?" Steve’s voice sounded soft against your ear and you couldn't help but chill.

"Yeap." You replied low, closing your eyes and praying to this be over already.

"Almost over. You will be safe soon enough. Keep your eyes closed."

When you were finally out of the building, the sun hitting on your face, you made a motion to get down of his arms, but he held you more tightly.

"You have a broken leg. Let me put you in a stretcher, okay?"

You nodded as he gently laid you on a stretcher. There were some other volunteers around and you licked your lips, wanting to thank him.

"There will be people taking care of you now, you will be alright." Steve squeezed your hand lightly as he left you to join the other firefighters. Your stomach danced as you watched him walk away, your eyes wandering on his ass more than they should.

"Everyone good? Everyone?" Natasha was passing around the volunteers, checking on them. She put her hand on your shoulder and you were startled, staring at her.

"You okay? Was everything okay?"

"Yeah? Yeah, I guess I was saved?"

Natasha smiled as she pointed to the big room you were in the beginning.

"There are some sandwiches and some snacks on that room for volunteers. If you want to wait a little bit, I am sure you can talk to Wilson.”

-x-

You waited for a while. Most of the volunteers had left when they were done with their food, probably wanting to enjoy their Friday off. You sit in a chair, looking at your phone: 11:39 am. The door opened and a loud group came out, mostly men, going directly to the table. You looked for Sam, finally finding him giving a huge bite at a sandwich. You walked towards him, ignoring most of the looks for still wearing the bloody jacket.

"Sam!"

"Oh my God, you came! You indeed came!" Sam exclaimed, surprised, leaving the sandwich on a plate and hugging you, tightly. All your anger simply melted away. Sam read your paper and laughed.

"How was it? You good?"

"Yeah. I was carried and saved but besides all of that, I am fine."

Sam coughed a laugh, hugging you again.

"Who I owe the thanks to saving my best friend?"

Before you could answer, an attractive black-haired man passed his arm over Sam's shoulder. Behind him, a blond tall man with a shirt that was clearly smaller than he should be wearing followed, looking everywhere but at you.

"Please, don't tell me you have been hiding a lover this whole time, Sam. From me? I thought we had something special!"

"Awwn, sorry to break your heart, Bucky. Not that interests you, but this is my best friend actually."

Bucky put his head over his heart, pretending to be relieved. You laughed, getting an alarmed looked from Sam. Probably to not encourage Bucky.

"James Barnes, at your service, but everyone calls me Bucky. Sam's best friend in this place, together with my friend Steve here."

Steve?

STEVE?

You looked at the blond guy Bucky was pointing and all embarrassment from before came back. You didn't even recognize yourself from before, sounding like you even got affected by him with that uniform, that calm but firm attitude. You would have done everything Steve told you but now? You weren't affected, at all.

"Oh." You simply replied, Steve's face going red as a tomato. That isn't what you were expecting from a man like that at all. "I should have thanked you before, Steve."

Sam and Bucky's eyes went directly to Steve. You could see a half malicious smirk on Bucky's lips.

"Oh, it was you from before? The one he carried away?"

"Bucky..." Steve warned. Sam's eyebrow went up in your direction.

"I was just in the last one and he helped me. I had a broken leg, you know?" You tried to explain to Sam that hid a smile with his mouth "Again, thank you, Steve."

Steve smiled, his face still red as a tomato. You turned to Sam, ready to leave but he shook his head.

"Come on, you gotta stay with us to celebrate. First time I have you after I don't know how many years and you will just leave me like that?"

"Yes, it is Friday. I am going home, showering, resting my feet up, and sleeping until tomorrow morning."

"You do something big?" asked Bucky, biting a sandwich.

"You know the big new marketing building that opened downtown? I am kind assistant in there to a director." You answered "I am really sorry Sam, but this is my first three-day weekend in forever. Maybe a Sunday lunch?"

"I will hold you on that."

You hugged Sam and held your hand out to Bucky. When you turned to Steve, his blue eyes focused in your expression as before, when he saved you. You held your hand out, thanking him, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible.

“Again, it was nothing. I would do it again if it is needed.”

You ignored Bucky’s laugh behind you and contained a smirk on Steve’s red face when he realized what he said. This tall and muscular man was nervous because of you? No, your senses were lying to you. You were nothing special really. Average but okay enough. It was probably your eyes deceiving it.

“I will hold into it, Steve.”

-x-

"Steve seems interested in you."

You only saw Sam’s text when you were home, shower taken, a comfortable and warm bathrobe, wine, snacks, and streaming ready. Sam had always been a little bit of a prankster and you bet that Bucky Barnes was involved in it too. It seemed just like that guy's personality anyway.

“No, I think he is seriously interested in you. What do you want me to say?"

The other text was a selfie. Sam's face was in front, with Bucky and Natasha their arms around Steve. How could a man look so attractive like that? It was unfair. You shook your head.

"He isn't, Sam. He prob dates Natasha or something."

No answer for a few minutes until your phone vibrated again.

"Nat? Nah, not happening. They are like brother and sister. Now, isn't Steve a little attractive? Just a lil? Especially in the uniform?"

You rolled your eyes, clicking on the selfie he sent you before, focusing on Steve's face. Of course, he was attractive. You debated if you should answer or not, biting your lips as you sent a final message.

-x-

"What did they say, Sam? Come on, we are all dying to know here. Steve more than anyone else!"

"Barnes, can you behave like a normal adult?" Natasha mocked, her arms crossed.

"Like I would be sharing with any of you. This is my best friend and Steve we are talking about here and I will show it to him only!."

"Like he won't tell us, right Nat?"

Sam shook his head, giving it up. He showed his phone and three heads got together to read it.

"Yes. Especially in the uniform."

[sideysvault]

𐙚⋆° Convincing Deadpool that you like his face just as it is𐙚⋆°

Pairing: Wade Wilson x fem!reader

Friends to lovers. 500 wc

Warnings: Foul language

────────

- His morals had been down ever since he got rejected from the avengers. And as much as you tried to support his attempts at having a “normal” life, you couldn’t help but notice he was trying to hide and make himself smaller. You couldn’t stand it. You missed the man he used to be. The man you couldn’t help but have a massive crush on.

- Deadpool and you met fairly recently, but you clicked immediately. There was something about Wade’s personality that went really well with yours. You always knew you’d be in trouble if you two got close. You couldn’t help but be overly attracted by his unexpected acts of kindness, his loyalty, his humor and, of course, how his red suit tightly hugged his body.

-Even if you knew that he was going through a rough patch, you never expected it to go this far. You tried so hard to contain the snort that came out of you when you saw his “hair system”. And you failed miserably.

“You are a cruel, motherfucker. I hate you”

“Wade, baby. A wig?”

“It’s not a wig! It’s a hair system”

“Ok, sure. But you don’t need it. You know that, right?”

“I’m in sales for fucks sake. I’ll starve to death if I don’t wear this shit”

“Fuck. Them. Plus, A summer balayage it’s so not your style anyway

- Having dinner at his place had become a normal occurrence. Al would even sometimes join the two of you. And you couldn’t help but notice that he is always overly careful. Wade only lifts his mask enough for him to be able to eat. At the end of a particularly fun night (And, after having a couple of beers) You encourage him to take it out. All the way. You reall don’t mind.

“No, Cupcake. I don’t want you to choke on your food and die by shock. Imagine a third degree burn victim that somehow got Proctitis on their face. That’s me”

Your heart skipped a bit. Something turned in your stomach. The sudden feeling that he wasn’t really joking over you came all over your body. You were almost sure that your heart just broke a little bit. But you try not to push him too much.

You get up and come closer to him. You took all the courage you could mustard and gave him a little kiss on the right side of his chin. One of the few spots of his damaged skin that you’d seen

“I dunno. Seems pretty okay to me”

He lifted his gaze at you. Even with the mask on, you could tell he felt some sense of evasive curiosity. And just as you were starting to worry that you had gone too far… A cocky smile appeared on his face as he said “You can be sweet. Big time. Who would’ve guessed”

You mirrored his smile. And, God. You looked gorgeous. Wade always thought he never stood a chance. He wasn’t easy to be around, let alone love. But after all, the woman might just feel the same way he does.

That day, a beam of hope lingered over the two of you.

────────

Notes: Based on this request!. I might rewrite this very soon, life has been a bit more hectic than usual -Sidey x

[diamond-coral]

A Game

Summary: Tony suggests a game that you, the unfortunate intern, get dragged right into the center of: who can make a woman cum the fastest?

Pairings: all dark!: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader, Thor x Reader, Sam Wilson x Reader, Tony x Reader, implied natasha x reader

Warnings: DUB-CON/NON-CON (oral: f-receiving, fingering, tiny smidge of analplay) VOYEURISM/EXHIBITIONISM, BLACKMAILING, OVERSTIMULATION. The characters in this story are NOT good people. After reading the warnings, your media consumption is your own responsibility!

As Stark’s party mellowed down and all the guests left, you, the unfortunate intern, were called over to the small group of five Avengers seated in a section of couches.

“Y/n, come!” Thor’s voice boomed.

“Y/n, come!” Sam mimicked, deepening his voice to make fun of Thor’s.

You approached them as the men snickered at Sam’s joke. 

“What can I do for you?” you ask, a fake smile plastered on your face.

Stark cleared his throat and raised a brow at you; a silent command. 

“What can I do for you, sir?” 

“A round of drinks please, and add this to Sir Barnes, Sir Rogers, and I’s drinks.” Thor handed you the flask of his Asgardian liquor and you accepted it, hiding the slight nervous tremble of your hands.

“Of course, sir.”

“Someone’s been learning their manners,” Steve taunted, and it took all your restraint to not snarl at him.

“Easy there, Rogers,” Stark interjected, noticing how your fingers clenched Thor’s flask tighter. “Pretty sure Barnes fucked the brat outta her couple days ago when he came back from that shitshow of mission in Bosnia. Got a lot of pent up rage there, Buck?”

“Mission just put me in a bad mood,” Bucky shrugged. “Either way, I don’t think I fucked all the brat outta her. Got anything left for me, doll?”

“I have nothing for you, you self-righteous, ignorant prick,” you spat venomously.

“There she is. I always love a challenge.” Bucky smirked at how your knuckles were turning white around the flask. “Now didn’t Thor ask you to go fetch us some drinks?”

You huffed, opting to bite your tongue rather than lashing out, and spun on your heel toward the minibar.

Three-months ago, you would never have imagined your internship interview at S.H.I.E.L.D to bring you here. Your interview had been conducted by Captain America himself, and just as things began to look promising, it was interrupted by a sharp knock from Tony Stark. Tony had brought Steve into the hall, leaving the door to the conference room open, and you could only sneak glances through the window of the room, hearing Steve whisper about how it was “a question of morality” while they both kept looking back at you.

You got the position, and the next day, Tony sat you down and gave you an offer.

The Avengers needed to be ‘taken care of’, as he put it, and you being a ‘stress-reliever’ would boost morale around the team. Most of the them never had time for the outside world (apparently saving the world was a big commitment?) and were rarely ever able to make lasting relationships. You could accept the position, be compensated monthy, and get to live in the compound, or you could decline, and walk away with your mouth sealed by the confidentiality contract you signed before the interview.  Something about S.H.I.E.L.D. work being linked to a lot of top secret information, meaning you weren’t allowed to speak any details of the job to outside parties unless you wanted to get sued for every penny you were worth.

You had been on the cusp of taking the second option before Tony mentioned your sister’s job as S.H.I.E.L.D. as an agent. She was half the reason you’d interviewed for an internship. A couple words from Tony about her possibly falling into a fatal accident on a mission, and you took the position offer in a heartbeat.

You almost overfilled the glass while getting lost in your train of thought. Setting down the bottle of expensive whiskey, you placed the last glass next to the others on the silver tray, and picked it up, gracefully yet begrudgingly making your way back to the small gathering.

“Y/n, finally. We were just talking about who here can make a woman cum the fastest.”

The complete utter bluntness of Tony’s words caught you entirely off guard, and you tripped over your own feet, stumbling in your high heels to keep the tray of drinks from falling before Sam reached an arm out to catch the tray and another arm to hold your hip and steady you.

You ripped yourself from Sam’s touch without acknowledging or thanking him, to disturbed by Tony’s previous words to do so. You began passing out the glasses of dark liquid. “And you’re telling me this why?” Your voice was flat in hopes of showing Tony you were completely disinterested in any plans he might have.

“Why, we need your aid, Lady Y/n,” Thor answered a little too cheerfully for your taste.

“I won’t be partaking in your little immature competition of toxic masculinity.” You crossed your arms and continued. “It makes it seem that women are nothing but prizes. Games to be played by boys as they fight over the highscore. Toys.”

“Aren’t they?” Steve cocked his head, eyes glimmering with amusement while a smirk painted his face. The rest of the men chuckled at his reply.

“I think HR would be shocked to hear that Captain America is being a sexist dick to a woman in the workplace,” you bit back, but your threat was weak and they all knew it.

“I think HR would be to busy writing a condolence letter to your sisters family if, let’s say, on her mission with Sam tomorrow in Russia, a stray bullet hit her,” Steve replied. A quick reminder at the stakes. 

Sam clicked his tongue and shook his head in mock sympathy. “Those darn Russians and their careless aim.”  

He abruptly pushed himself off the couch and clapped his hands together. “I wanna go first,” he declared.

“Just remember, you can’t use your dick,” Tony added. “Some of us don’t have super soldier serum enhanced fuckwands.”

“Please never, ever say fuckwand again,” Bucky said, scrunching up his nose. “Besides, the hydra serum didn’t do anything down there.” He waggled his eyebrows while elbowing his enhanced counterpart. “Don’t think I could say the same for this punk here though.”

Steve muttered a ‘shut up’ while the group snickered.

All while they compared sizes like a bunch of teenagers, Sam manhandled you onto the coffee table in the center of the couches. You let out a grunt as you were shoved onto your front, stomach pressed into the tabletop while your pelvis was slammed into the edge.

Sam kneeled behind you and brought up two fingers to your mouth.

“Get ‘em nice and wet for me, baby.”

The men around you went quiet, entranced as you reluctantly took Sam’s fingers into your mouth, sucking on them and swirling your tongue around them.

When Sam finally pulled them out, he looked back at Tony.

“You ready?” Sam asked.

Sam hiked the flowy skirt of your dress up your legs causing you to squirm and pathetically thrash; a desperate attempt at putting an abrupt stop to this stupid game.

“You’re on the clock.”

At Tony’s words, Sam immediately stopped your desperate attempt at worming away from him by catching you by the back of your neck and slamming you back down hard on the coffee table. Much to your disdain, the rough treatment made you wet, and that was the last thing you wanted them to see.

But when Sam pulled your lacy panties down, you could tell it was the first thing he noticed.

“Fuck babygirl, I didn’t need you lubing up my fingers, you’re already drenched,” he noted.

You let out a soft moan as Sam worked two calloused fingers into your pussy. Although they’re thick and long, they were nowhere near the size of his dick and you silently thanked whatever was out there that he wasn’t splitting you in half with it at the moment. Sam released the grip on your neck, moving to settle the hand on your ass before giving it a light squeeze and a slap that elicited another moan from you. While Sam slowly began moving his fingers- twisting, curling, and pumping them- he leaned over you, caging your body under his broad chest, to speak dirty words into your ear.

“Baby, you’re so wet right now, I think you like having them watch you.” Your cheeks burned in shame while he picked up the pace. “You want them to see how well-behaved you are for me? Want them to see how you come on my hand like a good little slut?” he cooed.

Slow pumps now turned to quick thrusts from his skilled fingers and Sam groaned as you fluttered around him.

“That’s it. You’re taking me perfectly.”

Twisting his wrist so his thumb could also strum your clit, Sam was moving so fast you’d easily mistake him for a superhuman.

“Yes, Sam, please,” you cried out, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“Uh-uh, babygirl. Wrong word,” he scolded, although his pace never slowed as his fingers brutally fucked into you.

“Daddy!” you screamed. “I’m cumming!”

You chanted those words, cunt clamping down on his merciless fingers. He gave you no reprieve, mercilessly thrusting into you, until you squirted, your release coating his hand and dripping down his forearm. Only when you were almost crying, did he finally remove his hand from your abused cunt.

“Now that-,” Sam stated, grinning while he stood. “-is how you make a girl come.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever Birdbrain.” You don’t have any strength to look at Tony as he speaks. “Give her a couple minutes before whoever’s next.”

Whatever the conversation was between them (you couldn’t hear it over the buzzing in your brain), it was much too short to your liking. The few minutes Tony gave you only felt like a few seconds before Bucky was getting up.

“Guess I’ll take a crack at it,” he announced, rolling his head from side to side.

“No one says “take a crack at it” anymore, old man.”

“Keep talking when your in last place, Sam,” Bucky quipped, however, his tone was still light.

You felt a metal hand on your hip before you were rolled over onto your back, now facing Bucky while your eyes pleaded with him.

“Please dont,” you croaked.

Bucky just scoffed, kneeling down between your legs and wrapping both arms around your thighs as he pulled you closer.

“Tony?” His hot breath fanned your pussy as he spoke and you inhaled sharply at the feeling.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Stark said.

Bucky wasted no time the moment the words left Tony’s mouth. He started by licking up from your hole to clit over and over, the lazy stripes already driving you wild. Letting go of one of your thighs to bring his flesh hand to your pussy, he pulled the hood of your clit back, pausing his licking to blow on your engorged bud.

“Such a pretty pussy, doll,” he murmured before turning his head around and speaking louder. “You guys seeing this?” 

He moved his head out of the way to showcase your glistening folds. A couple groans from the men on the couches had you trying to close your legs, but Bucky’s grip was like steel (especially considering his hand was metal).

“Wasting time Buck,” Steve commented and Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure I can still beat Sam and have time left over,” he scoffed.

Bucky directed his attention back to your folds, this time, diving in right away. He still had the hood of your clit pulled back as he encased the bud with his lips causing you to writhe at the intense sensation. And yet, you were held down with practically no effort as he methodically played with you. Each time he groaned against you, you let out an embarrassingly loud moan, and by the time he started sucking on your clit, you were wrecked. Your hand found home in his brown locks of hair while he quickly moved his tongue back and forward on your sensitive nub that was trapped in the vacuum of his mouth. The coil inside you wound tighter and tighter, and suddenly, while Bucky began shaking his head from side to side, it snapped. Your clit pulsed rapidly while encased in his hot mouth, and you screamed, legs locking around his head while your hand held his head in place. He worked you while you rode out your orgasm on his face until you could barely move.

Bucky got up from his knees, grinning down at you, so weak, you couldn’t muster it in you to glare back.

“Now I think I really fucked the brat out of you,” he said. “What was that?” He cupped his ear. “Did I hear a thank you sir?”

“Thank you, sir,” you whimpered weakly.

You were so fucked out, all the next events were but a blur.

Thor had feasted between your thighs the same as Bucky but was more sloppy, although, your body seemed to love ‘sloppy’. His tongue was constantly lashing and worming around your clit, the wet muscle accompanied by lewd slurping sounds, and in record time, Thor’s suckling and licking had you tensing and building up so much that your orgasm felt like a waterfall crashing over your body.

Steve was just as methodical and precise as Bucky, also pumping his fingers slowly in and out of your pussy. He was sweetly slow, dragging out your pleasure to the point where you were begging him to come. His warm tongue dragged across your sensitive cunt, while another hand reached up to grab a breast and pinch a nipple. You felt like your body was on fire. It wasn’t until Steve had inserted a thumb into your ass that he finally allowed your body sweet sweet release.

Your head span as finally collapsing on Tony’s floor, listening to the muffled voices above you.

You didn’t even register Stark’s words as he announced Thor had won and Steve had come in last. You barely even heard Steve’s defense that he was just enjoying himself too much in the moment.

Although ten-minutes later you had a somewhat sense of clarity, after hearing their conversation, you wished you were just unconscious. Even better, dead.

“I’m tellin’ you man, I made her squirt. She definitely came the hardest with me.” Sam’s voice rang.

“Dude- she was literally grinding against my face and holding me in a headlock with her legs,” Bucky argued.

“I literally made the brat beg to cum,” Steve inserted.

“I’d say that by bringing her to release the fastest, it was most intense with me,” Thor declared, victoriously.

You were on the brink of tears as they talked about you. Until another voice cut into the room. A female voice.

“What do you boys think you’re doing?”

It was Natasha. Your head jolted up as you felt a glimmer of hope surge through you.

That glimmer of hope was quickly extinguished at her next words.

“Not inviting me to the boy’s party?” she scolded. “You think a girl might beat you by a landslide?”

Nat squatted down next to you, running a soft hand on your cheek.

“Well you’re right. I’ll beat Thor’s record and cut it in half.”

She began unbuttoning her pants.

“And I’ll do it while riding her face.”

[starshipsofstarlord]

Not on my boat

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary | whilst helping Sam fix his boat, during the midst of its progression, Bucky corners you within the old Wilson heirloom, leaving your friend and future captain, rather disgusted in the both of you.

Warnings | tfatws spoilers, mentions of death, some angst, smut, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, bit of choking, swearing

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Hearing the waves crash against the side of the boat brought a smile upon your face, as you felt the breeze brush against your face. It was peaceful, fixing something rather than leaving it broken in order to save lives. If you weren’t swarmed with the government on your tail about how you were not allowed to use your powers, you’d be living out a free and happy life with the man you loved.

You were enduring a break from your assistance on the old Wilson vessel, your legs plodded around its platform, as you surveyed every piece that was in progress. Soon it would be in tip top shape, and when Sam and Bucky’s relationship was on par with that, that was when the two of you had planned to leave. There were plenty of things the two of you had to make up for before you could reside in peace; one of those things was that list of his.

It was a ledger of the amends that he had to make, a reminder of all the lives that had either taunted his own, or he had stolen from whilst he was not himself. James did not deserve the grievance that he was pardoned with, he was struggling, that much was clear. He had lost Steve, and then he was forced to watch as the shield had been handed off to some wanna be cap. To say he had been furious at Sam was a deep understatement, but as said, he was making amends.

Sam was a good man, you had learnt that much from the time that you had spent avenging to him. You had yet to tell him, but you weren’t planning on going back to that life after Karli was stopped, you wanted to continue working in the small shot bar slash grill, where Bucky and Youri would visit during your hours for lunch, and remain in that partition of worlds. Having Bucky and normalcy was a fine balance, which was a deep seated structure that you deeply needed.

If you did not have that then you were sure you’d explode, and hurt someone, or break something. That was no longer your duty, the fighting that you had spent most of your life giving into was coming to an end, and you were more than fine with that. A civilian life sounded good enough, and something that you could definitely settle for, though, you weren’t sure that Bucky would do the same, you hoped that he would.

That gleam in his eye was far too noticeable every time that he looked at that star striped shield. It had brought him much pain, but it had been there in the corner of his sight everywhere he had went. And now, Sam Wilson, the man that his best friend had entrusted with it, finally accepted the mantle, holding it in his firm grasp, ready to become the next captain to walk the earth, and both you and him knew that he would do far better than Walker could.

He was already a hero, he’d been fighting the Sam foes as Steve for some time, that was enough to know that he was ready. His hesitancy had been understandable, more so after listening to Isiah, though, it was nice to see Sam take his own path on this one. There were pictures of his younger self assembled upon the wooden walls, he was with his sister Sarah. She seemed like a nice woman, a part of you wished that you get to know her better, but she wasn’t a buyer into the whole superhero get advantages agenda, and nor were you.

From what you could tell, Sam had his advantage right here; his family. Sarah was supportive of him, always aiding him necessary, whilst she simultaneously raised to young boys, that looked admirably up to their uncle, and feeding the kids that they went to school with because their parents had no intention to. If you could, you’d buy a replica of her life, her head was above water, although the boat almost wasn’t.

The boat. It was an heirloom, something that you did not have of your own family. Everyone was gone, the only person you had was Bucky, and thinking of him caused a light chuckle to fall from your lips, he made you endlessly happy. But neither of you could have the picture perfect life, and that was why the pair of you worked, you were each well aware of the restrictions that taunted you both, and had both been down dark roads on more than one occasion.

Things were turning brighter though, as the sun glared through the old glass, casting luminosity to stroke the high points of your face. A gently creak had your head diverting to the door way, where no other than James Barnes was leant up against, his metal arm pressed to the frame as he adoringly swept his oceanic pools over your form, slowly stepping closer.

“What are you thinking about doll?” He asked you, his tone genuine, as you sighed from his words, rubbing your eyelid as you felt a small itch. You puffed your cheeks, as you placed your hands on the super soldier’s waist, rubbing small and vigilant circles through his grey shirt.

“Too much.” It was an honest answer, everything was rattling around like pins in your mind, sinking in and letting loose to their own will. They could not be organised, they would only tumble about again, until the box was empty, though, for now, you had nowhere else to put them.

“Sarah said we could spend the night.” At his words, you hummed, taking note once more of how generous the woman indeed was. “We get the couch, so you best be on your best behaviour baby girl, nothing dirty goes on inside.” A small smirk crept its way onto his handsome face as you gasped at his spoken intention, lightly hitting the vibranium of his arm.

“Why do you blame me for not keeping it in my pants?” You interrogated him, glaring up at the man with a furrow between your brows. “You’re the one that corners me, a lot like this actually, so that you can get your own way and fuck m- oh, that’s exactly what you’re doing now, isn’t it?” You scoffed, crossing your arms and stepping away due to the man’s hormonal impulses. “Why am in not surprised?” You asked yourself, shaking your head at the behaviour of your partner.

“Hey, I’m doing us both a favour. Sex in someone else’s house is not exactly appreciated, and there’s kids, that i would rather not risk getting caught by.” He moved towards you, grabbing an ass cheek in each hand, as he pulled you closer by his grip. “At least then, there’s a chance I can survive the night, without being woken up by you sucking me off, or riding me.”

He was pushing your buttons, and he far well knew that, almost too well. It was his technique to get you riled up, that way, there’d be no dismissal of his current proposal, though, you continued to wear that adorable frown that he loved so much, and so, he gave your ass another firm squeeze, causing you to gasp against his chest. “Fucking on their dead parents’ boat isn’t exactly respectful either.”

“We’re helping fix it, may as well take our break on board, let loose a little, release all that’s clouding your mind.” He shrugged, knowing that his words were tempting you into complying with his lustrous whim, and so, to put another step in to helping his cause, he stepped back, reaching behind him to pull his shirt over the back of his neck, leaving his muscular torso bare, and free for your eyes to roam.

“That’s not fair.” You whined at him, not stopping yourself as you moved closer, and smoothed your hands down his stomach. “You’re such a tease Barnes, why couldn’t you have just fingered me in the public bathroom and waited until tomorrow?” A groan slipped from your mouth, as you peppered kisses over his warm flesh, tasting the sweat on his skin as your tongue swiped over the ridges of his six pack.

“Where would the fun have been in that?” He watched you roll your eyes, but continue to work your way down to his navel, stroking his v line with your fingertips. “We’ve had sex on a plane, might as well add a boat to the list.” Bucky remarked, groaning as you put your weight down onto your knees, looking up at him with your pretty eyes, as you palmed him through the denim of his jeans.

He could feel his cock stirring beneath the material, wanting more, eager to breach the layers that were keeping your tongue from rotating around him. But he remained still, as you swept your hair out from your face, the noise of your pulling down his zipper audible, as you sent him a naughty grin. The man above you licked his lips, breathing a sigh of relief when you tugged his jeans and boxers down, his erection swiftly bouncing up, the leaking tip pointing rudely at your face.

With a quick hand, you grasped his length, rubbing over his veins as you pumped him, spreading the moisture of his precum over his rigid skin, aiding you in your movements. As you proceeded to jerk him within your grip, your mouth moved forwards, your breath fanning over his balls before your tongue slipped out to stroke them, swiping up the droopy skin, as you suckled one into your mouth, contently moaning from the flavour of his skin.

Your eyes had shut as Bucky opened his own, watching you through a hooded gaze as you happily assisted his genitals, sending him into a crusade of pleasure as you used your well adversed skill set upon him. Your bottom lip ran up his shaft, slowly dragging along his reddened skin, until your reached the tip, your hands fleeing down to fondle with his sack, as your mouth stuffed itself full of his cock.

“Baby girl.” He breathed, his chest feeling tight as he stood there, practically naked aboard your friend’s boat. James gritted his teeth, watching as you effortlessly bobbed your head up and down half of him, lazily grinning as gagging sounds eventually emitted from your throat as you had him down the back of your throat, saliva slipping down your chin as you shook your head from side to side with him choking you with his dick.

Though he worried not for your struggle, not as you moaned against him, your lashes fluttering though your eyes were shut. He reached his vibranium hand down, stroking the side of your face with the cool metal, a high whine whistling it’s way out of your nose. Your spare hand reached up, cupping it against you, as you hollowed your cheeks, steadily breathing your nostrils.

A light frown covered your face as you focused on smoothing your tongue on his underside, causing Bucky to throw back his head, his stomach sternly clenching as he felt his balls twitch; and then, before he could fathom it, he was filling your mouth, cumming down your throat, as he pulled out, the last of his seed falling upon your tongue as he manhandled himself, feeling sensitive as he watched you fumble your tongue around your mouth, swallowing the mix of your spittle and his cum.

“Taste so fucking good.” You spoke, laughing lightly as you stared up and saw his dazed expression. Bucky pulled you up, his hand cupping your ass again, as he backed you up against the dash, your back lightly hitting against the window as he pulled at your shorts, whisking then down your legs, rubbing you through your underwear. His tongue explored your mouth, tasting himself as he located your clit, your arms grabbing at his shoulders to push him down, to which he complied.

His noises echoed through your mouth, as he pressed kissed along the top of your thighs, his fingers surpassing the seams of your panties, swiping at your entrance, until his prodding ceased, and he sunk his middle finger into your pussy, feeling you clench around him instantaneously. His teeth bit into your skin, emitting a squeal out of you as you harshly tugged his hair, making him rut his loose cock against nothing but the air.

“So wet.” He mumbled against your skin, as his vibranium snapped the sides of your underwear, letting the damp material fall to the floor, as he licked circles around your clit with his tongue, pulley airy sounds of pleasure of of your lungs. He slipped in another finger, his nose being pressed against your mound as you tugged him even closer, feeling as though you were almost there. Then you came, his fingers quickly exiting you as his tongue plunged in your entrance, cleaning up all your juices.

“Need you to fuck me Buck, please honey”. The man stood, stroking his hard cock as he teased your entrance. He swiped it through your slit a couple of times, before slapping his head against your clit, making your mewl against his lips, as you licked your essence from around his mouth. “James...” His cocky demeanour returned, as he watched you glance down at his cock, pressing your lips together in desire.

“Thought you didn’t want to fuck me on the boat.” He sneered dominantly, gripping your throat with his vibranium fist, giving it a tough squeeze, finding it endlessly hot as needy tears pooled in the corners of your eyes. Your lips pouted as you sputtered to speak, but you were just so hungry for him. “Guess I’m just gonna have to take pity on you doll, aren’t I?”

With that,he wedged his way through your folds, filling you to the brim as he bottomed out, gently releasing your throat to paw at your tits through your shirt. “Move baby, move.” You mumbled, your head feeling dizzy as your nails dug into the back of his neck, pulling him closer so that you could place tender and supple kisses across the front of his shoulders.

And so, he began to thrust into you, keeping a grip on your hips as he raised your leg around his waist, driving into you deeper, your head tiredly lulling as you chanted his name in soft and delirious pants. “So damn tight angel.” The soldier muttered, biting down onto your chin as he kissed his way up to your lips, abusing the swollen flesh a little more. The kisses were sloppy and downright needy, his vibranium hand held your chin up so that it would tip in rhythm with his movements, making access to the inside of your mouth easier.

“Buck.” You mumbled against his lips as your eyes rolled, your own hand circling your clit as you jutted against his exceeding administrations, one hand crawling up into his scalp as you let our small screams. You were indefinitely close, and as Bucky swerved his head around your own, moving his lips to nip at your earlobe, you came, coating his cock in your wetness, as he continued to hit his hips against your own.

It wasn’t long until he followed after, your clumsy hands trailing down to roll his balls in your palms being the last thing to push him over the edge. Bucky remained standing between your legs, each of your heads resting over each other’s shoulders as you felt each other, eyes closed, and smelling how the aroma of your sex wafted around you, like a personalised perfume.

“Hell no.” And the peace was broke, as Sam’s voice broke it. He had his hands on his hips as he shifted his gaze away from the two of you, unimpressed by what had happened. “The two of you get a break and you - not on my boat!” He practically screeched like a falcon at the pair of you, his arms flailing about like a bird’s flapping wings.

Although he was maddened, it didn’t settle well with you. You were too far out of it to acknowledge what he must have thought about the on deck dick that you had gotten, you were too lost in Bucky, the feeling of him still inside of you, and the falling of his cum out from beneath you both. “You know what, I’m outta here.” Sam left, quite glad to do so.

“You alright doll face?” Bucky asked as he pulled out, making you wince from the feeling of emptiness. You nodded as he reached for your underwear , leaving them be when he registered he had torn them, and instead opted to picking up just you’d shorts, pulling them onto your legs, redressing himself afterwards.

“I love you Buck.” You smiled tiredly, humming as he pecked your lips a few more times, combing his hands through your sex hair, as he returned the facial expression, seemingly calm. It looked good on him, the pair of you had momentarily forgotten your traumas, and it was bliss.

“Love you too darling.” He pecked your nose, staring lovingly into your eyes as he helped you down, and abled you with support to stand. “Unfortunately I think our breaks over beautiful.” He spoke, his hand upon your waist as the pair of you walked from the scene, going to fetch a bottle of water from Sarah, whom you hoped had not learn of your oversea adventure .

[unwrittenlibrary]

all this devotion is rushing out of me

summary // Bucky Barnes is beautiful. No ifs, ands or buts. But there was something exceptionally beautiful about him that you were desperate to see. (bucky x fem!reader)

or; bucky barnes blushing is reader’s kryptonite and all she wants is to see it.

words // 2.0K

warnings // (hi there is a brief brief allusion to a breeding kink in this but i don’t write smut so it’s nothing graphic) mentions of pregnancy & sex 

notes // my second b.b fic also originally posted on my ao3 happy reading! i have more in the works! 

Bucky Barnes is beautiful. There’s no doubt about that in your mind.

From his newly cropped hair to the smile lines forming around his eyes. Down to the stunning metal arm and god his thighs.

Bucky Barnes is beautiful.

But your favorite part, the thing of his that you find most beautiful, are his flushed cheeks and embarrassed smiles.

The way he turns red from the tip of his ears to the apple of his cheeks and turns his eyes away with a small, embarrassed smile always makes your stomach flutter. It was so beautiful and rare that when it did happen, you just wanted to bring it back.

So while visiting Sam and Sarah, Mission Blushing Barnes, was born in your mind. You didn’t really want to embarrass him, far from it, so you knew you didn’t want to do anything in front of Sam or any of Sam’s family. But, fuck, watching him play with the boys and make himself at home with the Wilson’s had something growing in your chest.

And you wanted to see him blush. If only to end the day on a high note. So you waited and waited. Until finally, it was you and him sitting on the edge of the dock talking about nothing.

“Louisiana’s nice, isn’t it?” He asks quietly as he watches the sun set. You nod but don’t respond, too busy admiring his side profile.

The slope of his nose and outline of his lips has your mind jumping for joy that he’s yours. That he’s the man you get to wake up to and comfort. You smile when he turns to look at you, bemused by your silence. “What’s up, doll?”

You reach out to place a hand on his cheek. “Just admiring you. So pretty.” You keep your eyes focused on his face, expecting a blush at the term pretty instead of handsome. All that comes though is a snort. You drop your hand with a frown.

Bucky rests a hand on your waist and drags you closer to him. “Gotta do better than that, doll. You’ve been calling me pretty for months now. I’m used to it.”

You open your mouth in faux shock. “I have no idea what you mean.” You say in a pitched voice as you rest your head against his shoulder.

Bucky shakes with laughter. “I know you like making me blush. Gives you some sick power high.” He mumbles the words into your hair as he gives you a kiss.

You smile. You know there’s no menace behind his words. You can tell from his relaxed body language and quiet tone of voice your little mission doesn’t bother him all that much.

“Is that a challenge, Sergeant Barnes?” You glance up and Bucky looks down at you exasperated. For a moment, you think the red will appear and you’ll have won a bet before it’s even begun. But…

A smirk slides onto his face, something cocky and bright, that makes your stomach clench excitedly. “Calling me sergeant outside the bedroom isn’t gonna make me blush, sweetheart.”

You laugh softly and Bucky presses another kiss to your hair. “What do I win if you can’t make me blush by the end of the night?” He asks after a moment of silence.

You purse your lips and think for a moment. “What do you want?” You ask when nothing comes to mind. “Because I know when I win, you’ll be worshipping me.”

“I do that anyways.” He says immediately, making you laugh.

“I mean… I’ll be in charge.” You clarify with a raised eyebrow. Bucky bites down his lip to stop a smile and you hope that the blush appears just from the mention of you taking over for the night.

He shakes his head. “And if I win, you wear that suit Sam made you.” You watch as his eyes flicker over you body, definitely imagining the skin tight suit Sam had made as a joke after your complaints of how fictional heroes dressed. You had laughed and Sam had given you the real suit moments later, the skin tight suit had been stuffed into your closet and all but completely forgotten. 

“Sounds like a bet to me.” You pull back from his shoulder and hold your pinky out. “How about it, Barnes?”

Bucky leans down so his forehead rests against yours and with a wide smile he interlocks your pinky with his. “You’re on, sweetheart.”

The two of you just look at each other for a moment, until Sam’s voice breaks the comfortable silence. “Hey, weirdos! Come on, Sarah’s pulling out dessert!”

You scrunch your nose before hopping up. You don’t bother to pull Bucky with you, knowing his strength alone would probably end up sending you into the water. “Come on, baby, maybe we can steal some whip cream.” You wink as you walk backwards.

Bucky only laughs loudly and follows you. He reaches a hand out to stop you from walking off the dock and forces you spin around. “Strike one.” He whispers into your ear before running ahead of you to meet Sam.

You roll your eyes. Strikes weren’t a part of the bet and he knew it. He just wanted to psych you out. But you knew you could get that man to blush, you just had to find new material.

And you tried.

Leaning over when Sarah handed the ice cream and whispering as quietly as possible so only he could hear. “Forget the whip cream, ice cream might be a better bet.” Bucky looked down and shook his head before taking a bite of your chocolate.

Running your hand down his metal arm as you walked back to the Wilson’s. “Wonder what this arm could do to me.” Bucky had just looked down at you disappointedly. “You already know.” He hadn’t turned red, but you felt a little hotter.

You had even brought up the idea of sneaking in some adult time after the house was asleep. That had just gotten you a shocked stare as he pointed out the kids who slept upstairs.

It was getting late and you were getting desperate. It’s not that you really cared if you won or not, you know if there was something you truly wanted to try that Bucky wanted to as well, you would. You didn’t even mind the idea of wearing the suit for Bucky. The thought of wearing it even if you won had crossed your mind. You really just wanted to see his pretty face all red.

Then, the perfect thing happened. The kids were excited to mess around with Sam and Bucky. Both men were equally as excited to show off the shield and metal arm.

You hadn’t even started watching to find something to make Bucky blush, his bright smile and excited laughter as he and Sam pretended to fall to the boys power is what made you think.

Bucky wanted his own family. You knew for awhile Steve had been part of his family and when he come out of HYDRA, Steve was all that was left of it. He had you and he had the Wilson’s. But the two of you had spoken at length about your future and plans for your own family together. He was going on less and less missions and you had a steady job, so starting a family now made sense.

And you knew how you could bring it up and make him blush. It was an obvious win-win situation. 

“Buck!” You call out. His attention is immediately turned on you as he stands up straight and finds your eyes. You wave him over and laugh as the boys tease him about being in trouble.

You’re standing on the back stairs and end up being a step above him when he comes to a stop in front of you. His hands come to rest on your waist naturally as he looks up at you.

“What’s up, doll? Not in trouble, right?” He smirks and takes a step closer.

This time, you match his smirk with your own. You rest a hand on his shoulder and one on the back of his neck. “Not at all, Buck. Just wanted to tell you something.”

“Oh yeah?” He laughs gently. “You panicking? Cause I’m gonna win this bet?”

You hum in response and bend so you’re at eye level with him. “Was just thinking of how good you look with kids. I think you’ll make a great dad one day.”

The cockiness is wiped from Bucky’s face and replaced with a look much softer. “You think?” He asks quietly.

You nod excitedly. “Of course. I think you’ll make an amazing dad. I can’t wait to start a family with you.” You take a step down, so now you have to look up at Bucky. His eyes follow you happily. “In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

You pause and Bucky furrows his eyebrows. You can tell he’s a little confused on where you’re going and that now he’s not even thinking about your silly little bet. Then you smile. “All I’ve been thinking about all day is you putting a baby in me, Bucky Barnes. I want it so bad.” You say the words softly as you flutter your lashes and smile alluringly.

Bucky’s eyes widen and he takes a shocked step back before looking down at you. Then you see it, starting from the tips of his ears and spreading over his cheeks. Bucky Barnes turns redder than you’ve ever seen.

“You…” He stutters as he looks around, like he wants to make sure that nobody heard the words that have just come out of your mouth. “Evil woman.”

You take a step forward to press a kiss to his lips. You can tell by his embarrassed smile that he can feel the flush on his cheeks. “Guess I get to be in charge when we get home.” You take a step back and turn to head back inside.

You feel a hand grip your own and look back at him. “Are you serious? About wanting a baby?” He asks almost shyly, like he’s worried the answer might be no.

You can’t even allow him to entertain possibility. You nod quickly and excitedly. “Of course I was, my love. I wouldn’t pull that out just to win some silly bet.” He lets go of your hand and an excited smile spreads across both your faces.

“Yeah? Gonna let me put a baby in you?” He asks, this time more excitement than embarrassment seeping into his tone and taking over his face. He moves to wrap his arms around your waist and you do the same.

“Yeah. I just might.” You scrunch your nose up at him and he does the same in return. “Might even wear the suit for you anyways, since you’ll be doing me such a favor.” You wink and Bucky laughs again. The two of you have gotten the attention of Sam and his nephews, but you’re sure they can't hear anything you’re saying.

“Think it’s you doing the favor.” Bucky leans in close and lowers his voice. “Having my baby. I know you’ll look beautiful. Fuck. I’m about to get us a flight home tomorrow.”

You feel heat on the back of your neck and butterflies in your stomach as you process Bucky’s words. “Gonna build our own little family, Barnes. Better get ready.” You laugh giddily as you lean forward to rest your forehead against his.

Bucky closes the small gap between you with a hard kiss. You press your body against his as he holds you tighter. The two of you are completely unaware of Sam’s shocked face or his hands rushing to cover the two children’s eyes.

“Gross!” He yells out and the two of you spring apart with embarrassed smiles. Bucky’s cheeks turn red again and that only makes you want to kiss him more. “That’s gross. There are kids here. And me. Nobody wants to see that.”

Bucky presses a soft kiss to your cheek before pulling away entirely. “I’ll see you later?” He asks as you begin to head back inside.

You nod with a mischievous smile. “I’m gonna go look at flights. I’m ready to be home with you, Sergeant Barnes.”

You laugh when a light blush graces his face again before he spins around and rushes back over to Sam and the boys. Sam punches him on shoulder and you can see the beginnings of a lecture, so you turn and rush up the stairs and head inside.

You rest a hand on your stomach. You’re unsure if it’s to quell the excited butterflies or because of your new plan to have a baby, but either way it makes you smile as you think.

Bucky Barnes was pretty when he blushed. Even prettier when it was the thought of having a baby with you that made him do it.

You would have fun with this.

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notes // try and tell me the idea of only u being able to make bucky blush doesn’t make u warm inside u CAN’T!