#wils force of nature

[theskyexists]

Fate is literally the tragic brooding shadowy anti-villain black cape vampire aesthetic (literally) tortured abused terminally loyal soft-spoken beautiful sad red eyed cape wearing electricity / speed enemy to friend to wife

[sxorpiomooon]

D10 ASCENDANT AND WHAT IT MEANS

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Aries-

You will never have a home office or working at home sort of thing. You WILL always have to present in order to earn money. This also means that you will also initiate the things, the one who will have to put all the effort to climb up in your life one man army is what I heard. Someone who will take all the risks. You will do all that taking the paths one cannot even imagine taking. Extremely ambitious and having an i am going to make it happen sort of approach. Facing so many challenges yet being able to accomplish things. You'll face the most challenges but will come out strong every single time. There is also a big karma regarding authority, you might have to be treated like a servant at times. You will be forced to follow the same routine everyday to climb up for a long time. You will also have to go through a major transformation with a death in your family. You will want to be in the actual setting to do something or feel the passion energy to do things. You will want to always have a mentor or guru in your life in your career, your problems will be solved with the help of the guru. Your communication will be very rough especially with small talk. You wil excel in works where you just have to do the actual work instead of communicating. You will have to physically get shit done. You will want to be a part of an organisation. This will be the kind of job that will make you run for everything. You will always be surrounded with people and competition having to prove yourself and will have to do some sort of corporate work at least once in your life. You will also always somehow have to impress someone by being at the right place at the right time. You will always want to be put in different kinds of teams just to rule them or just to come out as the one who shines the brightest. Also something that's seen is that these people usually never have the authority being nice to them and they have to work very hard to be picked by them.

Taurus-

You will go after the value of things, you will chase values. Before doing anything you will ask "what is in it for me" "how does it includes my value" etc. You will be inclined towards getting financial support in doing what you are doing, you will not be scared of asking for help. Very charming with your communication, charming and people will always be attracted towards you. Naturally will want to work with alot of people. You will love attending conferences they will help you in rising your status. You will be good at gathering people in one ideal place haha. Your business partnerships will always be 1-1. There will always be transformations in your career, the partnerships will come and go, your relationship with subordinate will always have struggle regarding passion you will always find partners that will not have as much as passion as you, they will be too analytical with you, you guys will not share the same vision on doing things or they won't see the value of things like you do. There will hardly be any collective interest on any topic. You will love speculative work and will have alot of several good support systems in your profession. Women in your career will bring you success. You will always want to have a strict boss because toullexcel under them, they wish for their authority to be firm. Travelling for your career will be very beneficial for you if not for money then for fame, your coworkers will have a strong emotional connection with you and will be very nourishing towards them. Commercial property will be seen and you will always gain from the politics of your office but will have issues with partnerships. There is also karma with marriage as in you might have a hard time balancing marriage and career as in either you'll be focusing too much on career and too little on your marriage or vice versa. When your mentor will pass away, you will stumble upon wealth out of nowhere. Their mentors will be very secretive. You will never share where/who you get your values from.

Gemini-

you will fulfill your karma through media, sports, marketing, writing etc in one way or another. You are naturally multi skilled to achieve your goals, you will do bunch of things to gain success and money. Major karma in dealing with daily routine, they will not want to be repetitive ever. You will like to be left alone and free in doing your work and making your money. You don't like people looking at you while you are working. They hate judgements regarding their work. You will have to take debt in career or marriage. You will love making money for food. You will want to try out expensive food for which you'll want to earn money. It will be your motivation to earn money and be successful. You will find respect only when you communicate as an authority. To be treated as a surperior, communicate and say your opinion. You might also feel restriction about sharing your opinions as in there will be a delimma regarding that. "I want to say something but I fear I'll be judged if I do so after" things like this might make you feel extremely restricted. Your marriage or first child birth will help your career in rising it could be a turning point especially in business the prestige and recognition will increase. You will be good at networking, you'll have a good circle. You will be good especially with men they might help you in your career. Extremely creative even with the smallest work you will finish the work with your own sparkle. You will personify everything also excellent at marketting anything that they're passionate about

Cancer-

You will play the most politics in work, you will know how to keep everyone in control and in your environment you will feel a need to control things sort of like also nourish anyone. You will be extremely selfish in your career, you will look out for yourself before anything or anyone else. You have major karma with your subordinates you will not be able to ignore any issue regarding them and will have to deal with it. You will be forced in situations where you'll be stuck. At one point in your career you will be embarassed at in a large group of people. You will be humiliated at work place. The entire situation will actually not be too big but you will make big for yourself. There will be a big blunder with finances in career or fame in career. You'll be very calculated in your career can be completely different in their workspace and personal life. Even calculative with communication you will want to get advantage of things. There will be alot of support networking circle for you because you'll be extremely hypnotic and charismatic. After you sign your home documents you'll have more leverage in career. You will lack mentors in your life and counselors at work will be very young for you. You will love to start your own projects etc.

Leo-

Only after birth of children career takes off, you will only want the kind of work where you'll be able to have subordinates. You will have alot of pride and will want to distribute tasks and show people working under you that you will also want to take care of them. You will always deal with opposition of large group of people but the authority will always have your back. You will see that they won't like most of your decisions. You have major karma with your offices or place of work. As long as you work you'll never have peace of mind as it'll always be disturbed by work in one way or another. Having a female or feminine boss will help you in excelling in your career, your mentors will always back you when you need them to and you will feel secure due to that. You will at some point be taking professional debt in behalf of your company etc. In business be very careful with this as it might be deritmental to your fame repaying for the loan will be hard. Your subordinates will always be more smarter than you and you will have to get their help. Unless people see that you working, you won't get the same amount of fame or respect. You will always sort of travel very emotionally there will be profit in business travel(if it's your own) once you sign or get your own first house.

Virgo-

You will always have unnecessarily enemies trying to bring you down out of no where in daily life no matter what profession, they will purposely try to stop you from finding some sucess or promotion atleast one or twice in life directly. There will be alot of rumors said about you. Serving will be the most important thing for you, it will be a need want and an obligation to the society. Any career won't work out if you take something from people your health will suffer. You will have to take debts to progress in life. After a girl will be born in household your health, career will improve. You enemies will disappear. You will have to take care of administrative duties frequently as in accounts finances etc. your communication with your boss will be the best especially when they're younger to you. You will also see your older bosses always seeing you as a competition or challenge. You will always have ups and downs with your coworkers and will go through a major transformation when a co worker will pass away but will have the best subordinate. Might have one student or subordinate that will have some sort of injury to limbs. Any female mentor that you have especially one that is in some way connected to foreign will give you million dollar advices.

Libra-

You will feel an imbalance and unfairness in your partnerships whether it's in marriage or a proper business partnership. You will always somehow be dominated by your partner, even in their marriage uou will be dominated by the other person or atleast it'll be seen like that. Even if your partner is a very kind person people will always sort of see it like them having this power over you or being assertive and dominant over you. You will try out business atleast once or twice in your life but it will remain extremely unfair as stated above. Your life will become about other people. Sharing everything, naturally always wanting to mother their working environment. You will also have really moody bosses lmao and will face very awkward situations with them. You will also become selfish, forgeful and dramatic in your communication. You will like to publish and write and will indirectly or directly have to publish something once in your life I heard "land in an opportunity". Your coworkers will become your real mentor and you will find the most wisdom from there. Your real actual bosses will always be like a friend for you lmao. You will always be chatting with them and there will be constant communication. You will have really powerful connections and will always need or require a partner in order to feel balanced. There will also be unbalanced transformation with money and you'll learn to to save alot of money due to that. You will always have subordinate that will be eccentric and hard to understand. You will also attend many confrences with your subordinate and will gain alot of money from them including insights. You will love to work in a home like setting and will have the least amount of enemies in career

Scorpio-

major karma and will go through many ups and downs and transformation before you make it. Will have to go through the lowest of the lowest and highest of the highest, involvement with hidden wealth secret dealings gain and will attain secret information through which you will rise. You will also have to deal with secret contracts in order to grow. You will see that birth of children will be important for fame and to gain authority you must support group of children in some way donate if you can if not money then time. You will always be the most excellent vocalist or speakers since you'll have tremendous wisdom even when you are young due to going through so many transformations. It is not what you are communicating but how you are communicating. Guru is important help to accumulate wealth and success. Sexual relationship will connect you to success and you will be excellent at last minute negotiation and dealings. Take care of the plumbing issues in your career as it'll affect your fame and health. Spouse will have best ideas for you in terms of making money. You will be extremely interested in politics after the age 34 or 40. You will also want to fight for a cause. There can also be addiction issues so take care of that. You will have a great bond with a person who will be from the foreign lands. There will be a sistery or brotherly sort of bond. A job where projects keep changing will be extremely beneficial for you.

Saggitarius -

You have the ability to teach and counsel in your work. You will be extremely strategic in your work and will have to display the ability to perform and teach others during work at the same time. You will sort of be like dictionary of wisdom, sort of like a "coach" to others improve other people work while doing yours. You will value information and knowledge more than anything. It will be your most perseved asset being more valuable than money and will have a very professional way of communication. You will get the message across. Your coworkers will be eccentric and moody extremely scientific too. You will be extremely negotiable with your career to the public. Very liberal indivualised thought process will have very harmonious subordinates. Your business competition will have very childlike communication and enemies will always be amateur than you. Your partners won't have the same level of knowledge as you but your partnership will work out well. You will have a sort of father child dynamic with them. You hide emotions insecurities in your workspace. Your authority will be powerful and will be nitpicking but they'll help you in improving your career. Your mentor will be connected with government in one point of your life and your professional network circle will be good.

Capricorn-

You will give extreme importance to having a title for example phd ceo etc. The title will make you feel as if now you can do something or are something. Extremely workoholic and extremely feminine in your workplace won't be aggresive or rude but very moody. You will love having partnerships this also includes having a pa etc. it will be something you will need, want and cherish. Your emotional stability will depends on that particular partnership you will completely rely on them and will feel like you can't function without them. You will pay them the most to satisfy them. You will also extremely eccentric to confused with your savings as in one moment you'll want to save it and another moment you'll want to spend it on buying some big ass random shit. You will have the most polite communication with people yet people working with you will be the most oblivion to your dreams and communication. They will not understand what you mean and want. You will have a strange bond with your female boss and it'll take alot from you to balance your relationship with them. You will be satisfied hrough your subordinates and when you hire or have people working under you. You will have foreign mentor gives you wisdom and who helps you this person will be nitpicky and detail orientated. They will be enemies with much younger and childish people and will always have words of words with them.

Aquarius-

You will be a part of a large organisation, large group setting and will want to be part of collective to execute work. You will want to attend conference work and will be easily influenced by activitism. You will be very political and will get sucessful through powerful partner yet will never be able to accept that. You will want to be free and make your own decisions and will have a love/hate relationship will that. As in you'll gain with them yet you'll hate to accept that. After the birth of first child especially with women within three weeks you will get a higher status in life. You will be extremely emotional and attached to your work. Your work can drive you mad too and emotional stability will depend on your career. You will hate to get involved with enemies and won't like to deal with it at all your relationship with mentor will always be turbent and will always have ups and downs. You will see that after passing away of some authority there will be a major transformation in career. you will have to service to goverment or boss with the little pay or respect as in it won't be balanced or fair in some way. You will get along with subordinates and will have alot of exchange of ideas with them. Your communication will be straightforward and people will have to actually spend some time with you to get your communication or understand it atleast third. You can be very radical and will think that you are right and everything else is an attack on you. You will have boundaries in doing your work, will find the most unorthodox way of doing work that others will not get. Network circle will always have mature, religious, philosophical people in it. Might have to go to a foreign place to establish themselves or foreign company. You will get wealth and money by listening to a mentor guru but will hate to accept that the guru knows more than them

Pisces-

You will always be on the move, always looking for a change and actively looking for opportunities. You become the protector in your career. Great importance of safety through your careerand will be the one who guides. You will have strong connection with farway bodies as in across oceans. Trouble with communication as you can be the most harshest communicators. Very direct and blunt in your communication as in "what is wrong" "fix this" etc short and direct. You value people being proactive and only respect people who are like this. You will love starting new career or projects. You will have beautiful relationship with your coworkers and will tind great joy through your work. You will also always have subordinate who will take care of you and will be very nourishing towards you might even take care of you when you are sick. You will always have powerful business competition or rivals. There might be issues with govt some sort of debt major transformation in expenses and mentors. You will love having secret work relationships, you will find it exciting. You will always have educated bosses at authority. You will have connection with highly political people. One of them might even become your rival so be careful with that. You will love to attend conferences in foreign land and will have to spend a lot of money on that but usually you guys are blessed by a devi(goddess) to do well financially

Thankyou sm!!!

alot of this is taken from krs channel and other pdfs found on google and a very few of them are my observations since most people around me are not yet working or doing anything regarding their career if you can and want to help me by sharing your or your loved ones d10 chart for me to make my own observations please feel free to do so I'll be very grateful<3

[radical-revolution]

With an open and awakened Heart, the ego-mind is transformed into a witness of the spontaneous present moment's true nature in experience and expression.

The Heart-Mind, unattached to any idea, moves with the life-stream force of intelligence through intuition and states of consciousness, and is always in the NOW.

Unattached to any idea is living devotional Trust, and experiencing Grace in the silence of not knowing, the infinite stillness of Awareness. WIl

This is Freedom.

~Padmā

[hathorik]

PALESTINIAN GENOCIDE: WAR CRIMES MASTER POST

The goal of this post is to keep track of all the war crimes as recognized by the UN's Office on Genocide Prevention and the Responsibility to Protect committed by Israeli authority and military against the Palestinian, Syrian and Lebanese people, and which remain unpunished by international authorities.

The ICC is not doing its job. It has failed its mission. It's up to us to push for Israel to be held accountable.

Feel free to comment, I'll feel free to delete the Zionist propaganda. I can't help it, I'm allergic to Nazis. Don't ask for "reliable" western media sources either; you can just open your eyes. I promise you it's better to see things as they are.

Everything under the cut is the material present on the UN's Office on Genocide Prevention and the Responsibility to Protect website as of 12/11th. Just go check it yourself if you need. Crimes in bold and red are those identified as committed. I'd love to keep tracks of numbers but... they are overwhelming. I can't. I don't think anyone can.

Paragraphs 2.c, 2.d, 2.e, 2.f and 3 are repeats of the previous but applicable to "armed conflicts not of an international character" and details to take into account in such cases. For the sake of brevity, they will be skipped and instances applicable will be reported in the previous instances of said crimes.

If you find other crimes (or victims) that need to be accounted for, please send a screenshot or a link to the source material along with the paragraph number (X.Y.Z.) and I'll be happy to oblige. You can also just bring up cases applying to a certain paragraph the same way; I don't mind a comment section filled with proof.

This post will be reblogged every 12 hours and updated when I'm able to do so.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA PALESTINE WILL BE FREE.

Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court

Article 8 War Crimes

1. The Court shall have jurisdiction in respect of war crimes in particular when committed as part of a plan or policy or as part of a large-scale commission of such crimes.

2. For the purpose of this Statute, ‘war crimes’ means:

2.a. Grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions of 12 August 1949, namely, any of the following acts against persons or property protected under the provisions of the relevant Geneva Convention:

2.a.i. Wilful killing;

2.a.ii. Torture or inhuman treatment, including biological experiments;

2.a.iii. Wilfully causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or health;

2.a.iv. Extensive destruction and appropriation of property, not justified by military necessity and carried out unlawfully and wantonly;

2.a.v. Compelling a prisoner of war or other protected person to serve in the forces of a hostile Power;

2.a.vi. Wilfully depriving a prisoner of war or other protected person of the rights of fair and regular trial;

2.a.vii. Unlawful deportation or transfer or unlawful confinement;

2.a.viii. Taking of hostages.

2.b. Other serious violations of the laws and customs applicable in international armed conflict, within the established framework of international law, namely, any of the following acts:

2.b.i. Intentionally directing attacks against the civilian population as such or against individual civilians not taking direct part in hostilities;

2.b.ii. Intentionally directing attacks against civilian objects, that is, objects which are not military objectives;

2.b.iii. Intentionally directing attacks against personnel, installations, material, units or vehicles involved in a humanitarian assistance or peacekeeping mission in accordance with the Charter of the United Nations, as long as they are entitled to the protection given to civilians or civilian objects under the international law of armed conflict;

2.b.iv. Intentionally launching an attack in the knowledge that such attack will cause incidental loss of life or injury to civilians or damage to civilian objects or widespread, long-term and severe damage to the natural environment which would be clearly excessive in relation to the concrete and direct overall military advantage anticipated;

2.b.v. Attacking or bombarding, by whatever means, towns, villages, dwellings or buildings which are undefended and which are not military objectives;

2.b.vi. Killing or wounding a combatant who, having laid down his arms or having no longer means of defence, has surrendered at discretion;

2.b.vii. Making improper use of a flag of truce, of the flag or of the military insignia and uniform of the enemy or of the United Nations, as well as of the distinctive emblems of the Geneva Conventions, resulting in death or serious personal injury;

2.b.viii. The transfer, directly or indirectly, by the Occupying Power of parts of its own civilian population into the territory it occupies, or the deportation or transfer of all or parts of the population of the occupied territory within or outside this territory;

2.b.ix. Intentionally directing attacks against buildings dedicated to religion, education, art, science or charitable purposes, historic monuments, hospitals and places where the sick and wounded are collected, provided they are not military objectives;

2.b.x. Subjecting persons who are in the power of an adverse party to physical mutilation or to medical or scientific experiments of any kind which are neither justified by the medical, dental or hospital treatment of the person concerned nor carried out in his or her interest, and which cause death to or seriously endanger the health of such person or persons;

2.b.xi. Killing or wounding treacherously individuals belonging to the hostile nation or army;

2.b.xii. Declaring that no quarter will be given;

2.b.xiii. Destroying or seizing the enemy's property unless such destruction or seizure be imperatively demanded by the necessities of war;

2.b.xiv. Declaring abolished, suspended or inadmissible in a court of law the rights and actions of the nationals of the hostile party;

2.b.xv. Compelling the nationals of the hostile party to take part in the operations of war directed against their own country, even if they were in the belligerent's service before the commencement of the war;

2.b.xvi. Pillaging a town or place, even when taken by assault;

2.b.xvii. Employing poison or poisoned weapons;

2.b.xviii. Employing asphyxiating, poisonous or other gases, and all analogous liquids, materials or devices;

2.b.xix. Employing bullets which expand or flatten easily in the human body, such as bullets with a hard envelope which does not entirely cover the core or is pierced with incisions;

2.b.xx. Employing weapons, projectiles and material and methods of warfare which are of a nature to cause superfluous injury or unnecessary suffering or which are inherently indiscriminate in violation of the international law of armed conflict, provided that such weapons, projectiles and material and methods of warfare are the subject of a comprehensive prohibition and are included in an annex to this Statute, by an amendment in accordance with the relevant provisions set forth in articles 121 and 123;

2.b.xxi. Committing outrages upon personal dignity, in particular humiliating and degrading treatment;

2.b.xxii. Committing rape, sexual slavery, enforced prostitution, forced pregnancy, as defined in article 7, paragraph 2 (f), enforced sterilization, or any other form of sexual violence also constituting a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions;

2.b.xxiii. Utilizing the presence of a civilian or other protected person to render certain points, areas or military forces immune from military operations;

2.b.xxiv. Intentionally directing attacks against buildings, material, medical units and transport, and personnel using the distinctive emblems of the Geneva Conventions in conformity with international law;

2.b.xxv. Intentionally using starvation of civilians as a method of warfare by depriving them of objects indispensable to their survival, including wilfully impeding relief supplies as provided for under the Geneva Conventions;

2.b.xxvi. Conscripting or enlisting children under the age of fifteen years into the national armed forces or using them to participate actively in hostilities.

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

The princess' guard (part 1)

Elrond x body-guard!single mother!reader

A headcanon fic. Minor Gil-GaladxOC. This is part one of two.

*****

🩵 Imagine being a Silvan Elf, protector and good friend of princess Finwiel, daughter of King Oropher and younger sister of crown prince Thranduil. You and the princess have grown up together, and each of you considers the other the sister you never had. You have dedicated your immortal life to protect her from any danger she might encounter, and are ready to give your life for her if so needed.

🩵 The only person you love as much as you love Finwiel is your son, Baranir, who you had as a nubile mother. You and your lover had planned to wed before your child’s birth for his sake, since most Elves find unmarried couples becoming parents unacceptable and the disapproval often extends to the children themselves, but sadly he, a member of Oropher’s Kingsguard, died in battle only a month before you were due. You cried all your tears and mourned him, promising in your heart you would tell Baranir what a wonderful, loving and protective father he would have been, and that even though you had known you were not meant to be together, you would always remember him, and be grateful for the invaluable gift he gave you. 

🩵 This is your life; a naturally protective Elf, proficient in the use of both sword and bow but more used to remaining in the shadows and striking without the enemy knowing you are there than to fighting in the open, you divide your time between your princess and dear friend and your son, making sure they are both safe and, in Baranir’s case, raised with love and care. You doubt you’ll ever get married, both because as a nubile mother many Elves would find you unsuitable as a bride, and because you have never felt the right sort of affection for anyone, and you don’t mind: you are satisfied with your life, taking care of and being loved in return by the two Elves you are closest to in all of Middle Earth, and will happily spend the rest of eternity without a husband by your side. 

🩵 Or so you think.

🩵 One day, an unexpected event comes to disrupt the peace of your daily life: an upset Finwiel tells you her father is planning to marry her to King Gil-Galad of Lindon, with the aim of building a solid alliance between the two realms. Unlike you, the princess does plan on getting married, one day, and on raising a family, and while she knows her duty towards her kingdom and people, the last thing she wants is to be handed over to an Elf she has never even met before, with no regard for her personal feelings or desires, as if she were a horse or a chest full of gold to pay a debt. Gil-Galad is known as powerful and wise King, but very little is known in the Greenwood about his character, since Oropher himself has mainly had an epistolary relationship with his peer and has only met him twice: what if he’s cruel, abusive, the sort of Elf who only considers a wife a mean to an end, to give an heir to his realm and who needs not to be involved in the government of the kingdom? What if he’s simply, like you, the sort of Elf who is content on his own and would only marry her for political reasons, decent enough to treat his bride well and even to ensure she’s content with her new life in Lindon, but unwilling or unable to share his mind and his heart with her, to love, or even just to value, her as she deserves?

🩵 That is a fate you’re determined to avoid. Finwiel is a kind-hearted but clever and wilful Elf, capable of holding her own against even the most obstinate interlocutors and to stand up for what she believes in, but the last thing you, and her brother, want is to see her forced to spend the rest of her eternal life by the side of a husband who will ignore and leave her alone in the best of cases, and outrightly abuse her in the worst. After all, a royal marriage is all but impossible to rescind, at least once it has been consummated, and Finwiel would have no friends at the court of Lindon to support her and defend her interests, apart from you, who are determined to remain by her side once she is wed. You are sure -... almost sure- her father would take her back if she decided to run away and return home, but what would become of her then, a divorced princess with no dowry and made unsuitable as a bride? 

🩵 “I do not like this; we have to find a way to prevent this wedding, at least until we have a better idea of the sort of Elf Gil-Galad is. I will not give my sister’s hand in marriage to a husband who does not deserve her, whatever the price might be.” Thranduil tells you, his expression sombre, the night the three of you have gathered in Finwiel’s quarters to discuss your plan, like a trio of conspirators; he knows breaking a marriage pact that has already been signed could mean exacerbating the already tenuous relations between Lindon and the Greenwood, if not open war, which is something he obviously wants to avoid, but the prince is the only person who loves his sister as much as you do, and her happiness, or at least her safety and well-being, comes before any other interest “If only we had someone trustworthy in Lindon, someone who knew the King and could tell us what sort of Elf he really is, to make sure Finwiel will at least be safe in his court…”

🩵 “I will go.” you decide on impulse, whereupon both prince and princess look at you, flabbergasted. “What?!” “It’s the best course of action for us. I’ll move to Lindon, pretend I’m a wandering soldier looking for a post, and find a way to enlist in the King’s army. You both know there is no one more capable than I am to move in the shadows, waiting for the right moment to pass unnoticed as I do my business in the shadows.” you point out, more sure about your plan the longer you describe it “I can use these same gifts to spy around, and gather information about the King, and then report to the two of you. Your highness, you know no one has at heart the interest of your sister more than I do; if I find out Gil-Galad is cruel, violent, or for any other reason unworthy of her, I will inform you, and then you will decide what to do.”

🩵 Thranduil approves of your plan; Finwiel doesn’t, well aware of the risks it entails. What if you are discovered, and captured? What if Gil-Galad decides to consider you a spy, even though you never meant to do harm to either him or his people? What if he believes Oropher sent you to keep him under surveillance, for some ill intent? He could decide to declare war on the Greenwood, with the terrible consequences for your realm both of you can easily imagine, and even put you to death, which is the very last thing your friend wants. “Whatever danger I may encounter, it is not worth your life, (name); remain here, and you will come with me to Lindon when it is time. Whatever danger or source of unhappiness Gil-Galad may represent, I do not fear him, and with you by my side I know there is no obstacle I cannot overcome.” she tells you with the determination her father so often disapproves of and you admire, like you admire it in her brother, because being raised in the house of Oropher doesn’t encourage one to learn to think with one’s own head, especially in the case of a princess “I will do my duty as a princess, and I will show Gil-Galad that if we cannot at least be friends, I will not allow him to disrespect me in my own court.”

🩵 Your friend is determined not to let you risk your freedom, and even your life, for her sake, but thank Eru you have her brother on your side, and in the end you and Thranduil convince Finwiel to support your plan. You formally ask the King to be allowed to leave the court for a while, vaguely mentioning some family issue you need to take care of as the matter, and you are given permission to depart. The next day, having personally chosen three of the palace guards as new protectors for the princess, to watch over her while you’re away, you pack a small bag, embrace your friend good-bye, and tell Baranir to be brave, because you’re leaving for an adventure.

🩵 The two of you reach the borders of the Greenwood on horseback, your child safely strapped against your chest, and then join a caravan headed to Lindon. You cover the last stretch of your journey on foot, and despite the importance of your mission and the knowledge of the danger you may encounter should the real reason for your presence in the kingdom be discovered, you feel well, with the open sky above your head, the soft soil under your feet, and a gentle breeze caressing your hair and naked skin. Being the princess’ escort, you have lived the greater part of the last centuries at court, never leaving the Greenwood’s borders; you hadn’t realised how much you had missed travelling, sleeping in a tent under the stars and waking up to a different landscape every day, and you are happy your child can share that experience with you. At dusk, when you rest together after a long day of travelling, you sit with Baranir, bathing and playing with him; your child is almost old enough to start talking and walking, and every moment you spend together fills your heart with joy and love.

🩵 On a cold but clear afternoon, you finally get in sight of Lindon’s palace; the travellers you have crossed paths with were few and far between, and most of them paid no attention to you, until a chestnut horse comes to flank you, his rider offering a polite greeting. “Hello. Are you going to the citadel?” “I am. Is this not the way?” “It is, but at this pace you will not reach it before the end of the day, and a woman with a child alone should not sleep in the open by herself, no matter how safe this kingdom is. Would you allow me to accompany the two of you to your destination? My horse can easily carry all three.”

🩵 Your first impulse is to -gently- refuse, thanking the stranger for his concern, but when you tell him that both you and your son are used to sleep in the open, he points out that the cloudy sky above your heads suggests an approaching thunderstorm, and he doubts the tent he can see hanging from your pack will protect you from the pouring rain. “I know you have no reason to trust me, since we have never met, but I promise I mean you no harm. My name is Elrond, I am the King’s herald.”

🩵 It’s your first conversation with a Lindon Elf, and you have already found a person close to the King! Eru seems to be smiling at you, you think with satisfaction as, almost instinctively, you find yourself returning the smile your new acquaintance -Elrond- is offering you; he’s very handsome, you have to admit, and he actually seems to be well-intentioned as he offers you and your child his help. “Forgive my suspiciousness; I tend to be distrustful when my child’s safety is at stake.” you explain “But I will be very grateful for your assistance, my lord.”

🩵 Elrond insists that there is no need for titles; you introduce yourself, and a moment later you’re riding on the back of his horse, trotting gracefully along the path. “Do you have family at the citadel? Maybe… your husband?” Elrond asks after a while. “I do not, unfortunately; and I have never been married, since my lover died in battle before he could meet his child.” you explain sadly, the pain of loss still heavy on your heart a full year after Baranir’s father died, and you can see Elrond blush with embarrassment. “(name), I… I am so sorry. Forgive me, I did not mean to… I should not have asked…”

🩵 “It is alright; you could not know.” you reassure him. You are pretty sure Elrond simply meant to make conversation, as it is normal for two people who have just met, and he seems genuinely sorry for his involuntary lack of tact; what’s more, his expression betrays no disapproval over your status as a nubile mother, which you can’t help but appreciate “I have no friends or family in this kingdom; I am looking for a fresh start, since most Elves in my old village did not approve of my being a mother but not a wife.” You tell him of your desire to find work, ideally as a member of the citadel guard, and Elrond, who is acquainted with the corps’ captain, promises to introduce you. “That is very kind; thank you.” you say, sincerely touched. “Do not thank me; everyone deserves a fresh start, and if you are worthy of being part of our citadel guard, It will be better for all of us.”

🩵 You keep making small talk, unexpectedly at ease with each other despite your brief acquaintance, until you reach the citadel, which is as great and splendid as you had heard; Finwiel would enjoy living here, you think as you discreetly look all around you. Having entrusted his horse to a groom, Elrond accompanies you to the barracks, to introduce you to the captain of the guard; they accept to put you to the test, tomorrow morning since the hour is late, and to house you and Baranir at the barracks for the night, since you have nowhere else to go and as Elrond had predicted, heavy rain has started falling on the citadel.

🩵 You thank Elrond profusely for his help, promising you won’t forget it, and he assures you he was glad he could be of assistance. “Good luck for tomorrow; I am sure you will do splendidly.” he adds; Baranir, who seems to have already taken a liking to your new acquaintance, waves his arms towards Elrond, who in turns takes the child’s tiny hand in his one to shake it gently. “Glad to have met you, young master Baranir. Please let your mother sleep tonight, she needs rest.” You share a smile, and a moment later Elrond has taken his leave. That night, as you lie on your newly-assigned cot with your baby peacefully sleeping on your chest, the soft breathing of the guards surrounding you in the pitch dark dormitory, you think back to Elrond, an Elf who offered you his help when nothing obliged him to, out of simple and pure concern for your, and your child’s, well-being. Given his position at court, you could find a way to be introduced to the King through him, but it’s not just that: he was kind, sincerely kind, even after learning of your status as a nubile mother, which is more than you can say for many Elves of the Greenwood, and which does him credit. 

🩵 You didn’t come to Lindon on vacation, nor you plan to remain there for more than a few weeks, or longer than it takes you to accomplish your mission; nevertheless, you think as you finally start to succumb to sleep, you really hope you can get to know Elrond better, and who knows, in case Finwiel does move to the kingdom to wed the King, and you with her, the two of you might even become friends… 

🩵 Your admission test takes place on the next morning, when the captain asks you to spar with two of their guards in the still damp courtyard outside the barracks. It’s been a long time since you were part of your kingdom’s guards corps, which you left after being chosen as the princess’ new protector, but in the meantime you have regularly sparred with the Prince, the mightiest warriors of the kingdom and one of the best in all Elvendom, and you’re proud to say you have at least not lost your edge, not to mention your swordsmanship style is different from the one the Lindon guards are used to. Once the captain is satisfied with your performance, you have a brief interview, during which you tell them you come from another kingdom you know Lindon is in peace but not closely allied with, so that your claims can’t be easily disproved, and then you’re finally offered a spot among the citadel’s guards, which you gratefully, and with great relief, accept.

🩵 You meet Elrond a few hours later, at the end of your first patrol duty; he has heard you were accepted in the corps, and came to congratulate you. He first of all asks about your child, who you have brought to the court’s nursery, where, you were told, the children of the guards and other workers of the court are taken care of while their parents are busy. “I knew you could do it. I hope you will be happy living here, (name); has the King sent for you already?” he asks, and you, who had suddenly noticed how bright his smile is, and how lovely he looks in his cerulean cape and tunic, blink, taken aback. “W-what? Why should he…?” You panic, for a moment convinced your ruse has already been discovered, and that Gil-Galad wants to question you regarding the reason for your presence in Lindon, but Elrond is quick to reassure you. The King, he explains, wants to meet every new member of both the citadel’s guards or his personal troop, convinced as he is that any commander should know the soldiers under his charge, and any sovereign the Elves tasked with his protection and defence. “You have nothing to worry about; it is going to be a very simple interview, he will ask your name and little more, but Gil-Galad can be… intimidating for those who have never met him before. I am sure you would have been fine anyway, but I thought I better warn you.”

🩵 A meeting with the King, no matter how brief and formal, is exactly what you needed, and you make sure to thank Elrond, who once again went out of his way to support you, even though he’s probably busier than many in the citadel with his own affairs. You wish each other a good day and part, neither noticing how the other’s gaze lingers on you as you walk in opposite directions.

🩵 The audience Elrond had forewarned you about takes place that very day, as soon as you have completed your chores for the day; a servant accompanies you to the throne room, and soon you find yourself face to face -only for a moment, before you rush to bow as low as you can- with the High King Gil-Galad, princess Finwiel’s future husband. Your first impression is positive: the King is a very handsome Elf, tall and broad-shouldered, the features of his fair face both elegant and masculine, his hair an ebony black waterfall that reaches down to his waist. He asks about you, and the perspective of having an Elf hailing from a distant kingdom, not to mention a nubile mother, doesn’t seem to bother him; after a brief interview, you are dismissed, free to go retrieve your child from the nursery, and spend a few precious minutes playing with him and reflecting on the events of the day. 

🩵 And so, your life as the newest member of Lindon’s citadel guard begins, an existence quite different from the one you were used to but to which you adapt fairly quickly. Your duties occupy the better part of your day; you do your best to prove yourself to your new comrades, and while some of them treat you with cold courtesy, if not outright hostility, because of your status as a foreigner, others offer you the hand of friendship and help you to acclimate. Baranir, you’re happy to notice, doesn’t seem to be affected by the change of scenery, even though he’s probably old enough to notice you have come to live in a different place, away from the other children he was used to play with, and from the princess, who he considered almost a second mother. The ladies who run the citadel’s nursery seem capable and affectionate, even though the matron openly sneers at you when you tell her -in response to her question, but openly and truthfully, since it’s a matter you never thought you had reason to feel shame about- that no, your husband can’t look after your child because he’s busy with his own trade, you simply never had one. Baranir looks well-cared for, clean and fed, and in a good mood when you go pick him up at the end of your work day, and this is what matters the most. 

🩵 Settling down in a place and a life different from those one has known all their life is not always easy, but you haven’t forgotten your mission, and the need to learn as much as you can about the court of Lindon and its king. Sadly you have no more reason, or occasion, to meet Gil-Galad after your first interview, but you start lingering in the kitchens at the end of your patrol shifts and whenever you have a few hours to yourself and, as you hold Baranir -whose adorable little face and friendly disposition easily win the affection of whoever meets him, which in turn makes it easier for you to get acquainted with them; you should perhaps feel guilty, using your child for your own purposes, but it’s not like he’s in danger or mistreated in any way! Quite the contrary, Baranir is probably the most pampered child in the citadel- to feed or play with him, you try making friends with the servants of the court, who often know more about their masters than they suspect. Apart from the occasional complain about his fastidiousness regarding his food and wardrobe, Gil-Galad has the respect and even the love of his personnel; he’s known as a strict but not cruel master, and his valet, whose confidence you are able to earn offering him a few rounds at the tavern while his wife plays with your baby, assures you he can even be forgiving, in the case of an honest mistake and sincere apology, which is more than you can say for King Oropher, who is known for dismissing servants who have served him a different quality of Dorwinion from the one he had ordered at dinner, or who had pulled his hair as they brushed it.   

🩵 Even more interestingly, you soon learn the King has been alone for most of the long centuries of his reign. Many are the ladies who compete for his favour, not to mention the remote chance to wear his ring and share his throne, but the King, while courteous and occasionally even affable in social situations, seems mostly uninterested in the fairer sex, and doesn’t seem to feel the need for a lover, whatever their gender, by his side. He is not known for having had any romantic relationship, either personal or formal, since his accession to the throne. His duties as a King leave him very little time to devote to personal interests, be it a hunt in the woods surrounding the citadel, a ride with his prized horse or the company of a lover, but whether that state of celibacy is due to simple lack of time and energy, or of interest towards the many ladies, and lords, who would be thrilled to receive the King’s attention, his valet admits he has no idea, since Gil-Galad is not the sort of master who discusses his personal matters with his servants, whether because he is interested in their opinion or simply prefers to think out loud. Who knows, perhaps he had his heart broken by someone long ago, and was never able, or willing, to love again…

🩵 His soldiers have an equally positive opinion on the King, who is the sort of general who commands his troops from the front line rather than from the back, which is something you can’t help but appreciate, being a guard yourself. At night, once your baby is safely tucked in his little cot near your bed in the barracks, you slip unseen through the court’s corridors and halls, listening to conversations and observing the lords and ladies of Lindon go about their business, seal trade agreement and marriage pacts, exchange swords over some perceived offence, or gossip about the recent rumour of the engagement between the King and the princess of the Greenwood. You don’t like snooping around, rather you can’t help feeling guilty about spying and sticking your nose into the business of Elves who, for the most part, welcomed you and your child among them and who in any case are entitled to their privacy. But there is only so much you can learn about the court of Lindon hearing it directly from the people involved, and nothing in the whole of Arda apart from your child is more important for you than Finwiel’s safety. She wouldn’t be the first consort killed not long after the wedding because her new subjects would have rather seen someone else on the throne, and you’d be willing to give your life to defend her: your honour is a heavy but comparatively little price to pay to know your princess will be happy, or at least safe, in her new home, should she actually marry Gil-Galad.

🩵 Fortunately you don’t catch wind of anything more interesting, or upsetting, than an upcoming rising of the price of silver, which will surely be cause of worry for the citadel’s jewelsmiths and traders, and gossips about two of the courtiers, both married, who have been caught in an highly compromising position in a storage room. While you’re careful not to lower your guard, the relatively positive results of your investigation leave you in a good enough disposition to enjoy the company of the friends you have made since your arrival in Lindon… Elrond first among them.

🩵 You never thought you’d see him again, and often and long enough to give the two of you the chance to get to know each other, but you were wrong, and what a happy mistake it was! You know King Oropher’s herald and his speechwriter both, and neither would lower themselves to spend time with a lowly guard, but Elrond is different - in truth he is unlike any other Elf you have ever met, and you have to admit you are almost immediately taken with him, perhaps since your very first meeting, when he saw a woman with a child walking alone and decided he had the duty to help and protect them, and you can’t help but appreciate his kindness, intelligence and wit. You can only imagine how busy he is, but he always seems to find a moment to come and talk to you, those meetings brief at first, as if Elrond feared bothering you and then, as he realised you are always happy to see him, lasting longer and longer. 

🩵 You could spend hours just talking, sharing a cup of tea or a late dinner in the kitchens after you returned from a patrol shift and Elrond finally completed his many duties for the day. Elrond is a constant source of interesting tales, the sort of person who can both enchant his interlocutor with his narration and listen intently as if he had never heard anything so captivating. You have known each other for a relatively short time when he tells you about his family, a more delicate and tragic tale than it is for most Elves, given the loss of both his parents and his brother, who chose the mortal life of Men and consequently died long ago. Rather than the resentment and bitterness you would probably feel in his place, Elrond is able to think back fondly to both Elros and his parents, remember the happy moments they spent together without letting the pain of their loss influence and forbid him from being happy again; his quiet, resilient strength of character is something you can’t help admiring, and being fascinated by.

🩵 In turn, you tell him about your lover. Mindful of his previous blunder, Elrond clearly avoids asking about Baranir’s origins, but you feel comfortable discussing that delicate matter with him, more than you’ve ever been with anyone apart from Finwiel. Already aware he’s going to listen without judging or reproaching you, you tell him of how you cared for your child’s father but were not in love with him, and of how you don’t regret having been intimate with him, no matter how your own family and so many others shunned you after your pregnancy became visible and you found yourself raising your child as a nubile mother after your lover’s death. Elrond doesn’t blame you for your life choices, both because he feels he has no right to and because he sincerely believes you have done nothing wrong; he admires the effort you put in raising Baranir, how you dedicate your little free time to him and never complain when he is fussy or keeps you awake for his crying. He is unsure when you offer him to hold your son, fearing Baranir could slip from his grasp and fall, but the child, who has clearly taken a shine to your friend, happily snuggles against his chest, either resting his tiny head on Elrond’s shoulder or playing with his hair. Your child is an excellent judge of character, and seeing Elrond play with him, or just lulling Baranir to sleep to give you a moment of respite, fills your heart with warmth. 

🩵 Elrond looks nothing like your former lover, nor physically nor temperamentally, but as you see your friend and your child together, at ease with each other as if they were kin, or even father and son, you can’t help wishing things were different, that Baranir had an adar who would raise and play with him. You wonder if Elrond, who confessed he had never had any experience with children before he was introduced to yours, plans on having one of his own one day; if so, that little Elf will be the luckiest in Middle Earth, and even though Elrond told you he’s not courting anyone at the moment, the person he will give his heart to will be exceptionally blessed as well. The hours you spend by his side are the happiest of your days, and the simple prospect of meeting him, even if just for a cup of tea in his quarters or a brief walk in the gardens after dinner, is enough to put you in good spirits.

🩵 Feeling more than a bit guilty even though you don’t mean any harm, you take advantage of your familiarity with Elrond to ask him about the King, who your friend is closer to than most Elves at court, one evening you’re enjoying the quiet of the gardens with Baranir sleeping in your arms. Elrond is at first willing to indulge you, but after a while he looks at you, his smile suddenly not reaching his eyes. “Why are you asking me about the King? Are you… in love with him, perhaps?” he asks, his tone only apparently humorous, and you remain silent for a moment, suddenly ill at ease as you regret your curiosity. “No, I… I am just curious; I am a newcomer in this kingdom, and I simply wanted to know more about the Elf I have sworn fealty to, just as he requested to meet me after I had joined the guards corps.” you awkwardly try to explain. Fortunately, Elrond seems to believe your lie; you see his tense posture relax and a sigh, you could swear of relief, escape his lips, but he avoids your gaze for a moment more. “Forgive me; that was puerile of me, and anyone in your place would be curious about their new sovereign.” he murmurs in the end, and he feels wistful, even… saddened, for a reason you can’t begin to understand.

🩵 “Elrond, if I said something to… upset you…” “You did not; you did nothing wrong, (name), and I… I should go, I have so many duties to attend to.” And with this Elrond stands, gently brushes his fingers against Baranir’s hair, bows his head towards you and walks away, leaving you alone, unsure, and feeling vaguely guilty for some reason you can’t quite understand. Have your questions made Elrond suspect you have harmful intentions towards the King, which is the most disastrous outcome you can imagine, given the fact he is one of the Elves closest to Gil-Galad and his suspicions could be enough to have you thrown in jail if not worse? You don’t think so; but then, why was he so upset? Did you say or do something to sadden or anger him? But how? You would readily apologise, if you only knew what you did wrong!

🩵 You keep mulling over the matter for a while, until an accident occurs. You’ve recently completed a training session with a few other guards, mostly those you are less acquainted with, and as you walk back to the barracks, you hear them make disparaging comments towards Elrond. “He’s not even a real Elf, I don’t know why the King has such a good opinion of him!” “Exactly! He’s no better than a common Man, I am sure he got his role by the side of the King offering favours, you know well what I mean…” 

🩵 The worst thing for an Elf in your position would be to cause disruption and to be involved in a scuffle, with the potential consequences of both alienating potential informants and of attracting attention to themselves, but you don’t hesitate before turning and ordering Elrond’s detractors to hold their tongue, or... “Or what? You will make us?” “I will; and I will tell the King what you said about him and his herald, I’m sure he will be pleased…” The other guards try to ensure your silence, not apologising and asking for it, which might have helped their cause, but threatening you, which certainly doesn’t; they end up assaulting you, three against one, and while you defend yourself valiantly and land a few punches of your own, you’re soon overwhelmed. You drag yourself to the infirmary, collapsing on the threshold before the attendants have the time to come grab you. 

🩵 When you wake up you’re lying on a cot in the infirmary, with Elrond sitting by your side, Baranir on his lap. “Good morning; or maybe I should say good evening, given the hour.” he greets you, his smile betraying the worry and guilt in his eyes “How are you feeling?” You feel like what you are, that is, the victim of a beatdown, with a few bruises and localised pains that have not had the time to heal yet, but you feel better as soon as Elrond offers you your child, who happily greets you with a kiss on the cheek. “The nurses were willing to keep him for the night, but I thought you would want to see him as soon as you awoke, I hope you do not mind if they left him in my care.” You assure him you don’t, since there is no one in the whole of Lindon you would more readily entrust your child to, and Baranir has clearly taken a shine to Elrond. “Thank you for taking care of him.” you tell him, and Elrond smiles before biting his lip, suddenly unsure.

🩵 “The guards who hit you confessed, and… they also said why; (name), I am so sorry, I never wanted you to get hurt because of me…” “Well, I am not sorry; I… do not want to go into detail, but those three deserved to be punished for what they said about you; no one can talk ill of a person I care for, in my presence, and not suffer the consequences.” you tell him firmly “Elrond… is this a common occurrence? You should tell someone; the King should be informed.” Your friend shakes his head, his fair face a picture of ruefulness and resignation you would give your life to see disappear. “I imagine those guards were making fun of me because of my Half-Elf origins, and saying I am unworthy of living among Elves and of having a role at court; I am used to it, (name), and I do not intend to go complain like a child whose older sibling is mistreating them. It would solve nothing… but I am thankful for your intervention; you did not have to.” You tell him that again, you don’t regret what you did, and are ready to do it again should the need present itself; you don’t mind getting hurt to defend what you believe in, especially since, Elrond tells you, the captain has had your assailants punished, but not you since you had the right to defend yourself. 

🩵 You share a smile; Elrond takes your hand to help you rise from the bed, and holds it a moment longer than he needs to. You don’t talk, but whatever problem or tension existed between you is resolved, your friendship peaceful and solid once more, and for that reason, you reflect as you accompany Elrond -and Baranir, held safely in your arms- to the kitchens for a late dinner, you’d be willing allow every member of the citadel guard to punch you in the face.

🩵 Time passes. Your and Finwiel exchange letters, yours addressed to another name and using a coded language in case they are intercepted and read before the carrier bird reaches the Greenwood, and before you realise you have been in Lindon for two months; you meet Elrond almost every day, and spend as much time as you can snooping around to make sure the kingdom will be a suitable home for your princess. One evening, the captain hands out the patrol duties for the following week, and you see that you’ve been granted a full free day, a rare treat for a guard. You plan on spending it with your child, who you have seen less than you wished to recently given how busy you were, maybe even take advantage of the time at your disposal to cut his hair -for the first time in his life!- or sew him a new shirt, but Elrond proposes the two of you go for a ride together, staying out for a few hours and even bringing some food to eat during your outing, and you’re immediately enthusiastic. You know Baranir’s needs should come before anything else, but you can leave him at the nursery like you do every time you need to go on patrol or to train with the other guards, and after two months you have spent focused on your mission and on your duties as a soldier you do feel the need for some time for yourself, leaving the safe but restricting borders of the citadel and enjoying your friend’s company without the anxiety of having to be somewhere else, to do something else, soon.

🩵 You depart in the morning, soon after you have promised Baranir you’ll be back soon, and entrusted him to the nursery’s matron, who is clearly unhappy to have to take him in her arms, but you pay her no mind. Elrond is clearly happy you have accepted his invitation, and has asked the cooks to prepare your favourite foods to take with you in a basket. You spend a lovely day together, riding, having lunch sitting on the grass in a small clearing, and then even swimming in a small lake you have found having made a detour from the itinerary Elrond had planned. Finally, you rest lying on the grass, the sun’s warmth drying your bodies, and neither feels the need to speak, not even to say how well you feel, or how happy you are to be together; a shared look is enough for both to understand you feel the same. 

🩵 You close your eyes, dozing off as you wonder whether it would be too forward to ask Elrond to repeat the experience the next time you have a day to yourself, and then a moment later you're fully awake again, and the sun is no longer the only thing warming you. Moving silently to close the brief space between you, Elrond has approached and is now holding you in his arms, his hands resting on your hips, his face so close to your own you can almost share your breath. “Is this alright?” Elrond asks quietly, marginally releasing his embrace to make it clear he doesn't mean to make you uncomfortable; you smile as you cautiously turn, finding the perfect position to rest your cheek against his shoulder and return his embrace, feeling Elrond’s firm and warm body in your arms. You had never noticed how good he smelled, and how bright his eyes really are…

🩵 “This is perfect.” you murmur; you hadn't expected anything like this, especially since you have known each other only for a few short weeks and no one better than you knows the risks of entering into a courtship, or becoming intimate with a partner, before one is sure of their feelings. But Elrond… Elrond is different, he is special, and the feeling of being so close to him, sharing your warmth with his in the chaste, pure intimacy of your embrace, heals wounds you didn’t know you were still carrying, and opens your eyes to a possibility you had started losing hope still existed in your future. While you could wage your life Elrond’s intentions are pure, you may discover you want different things, and the fact he gets along with Baranir doesn’t automatically mean he’s willing to be the father of a child he didn’t help conceive, not to mention that should the marriage pact between the princess and the King fail, you’re duty-bound to return to the Greenwood, to keep watching over Finwiel. Also, even the kindest, most patient suitor could resent the fact that you have been lying to everyone you met, including him, since your arrival, regarding your purposes and reasons for travelling to Lindon…

🩵 “I am very glad I met you.” you murmur after a while, and Elrond smiles before kissing your brow. “Shall we remain like this for a while?” “I’d really like that.”

🩵 In the end you do share your first, sweet kiss before starting on the way home. You have just reached your horses, who have been grazing peacefully nearby while the two of you cuddled, oblivious to the rest of the world, and Elrond has offered you his hands to help you mount - which you are perfectly capable of doing on your own, but his genuine desire to help you, the instinct to be of service devoid of condescension or hope for a reward, is something you haven’t experienced often before, and it fills your heart with a tenderness you can’t help but express, resting your hand on the back of Elrond’s head… drawing closer… and finally resting your lips on his. It’s brief, relatively innocent, but intense enough to make both of you tremble, and to test your self-control to the point you need to force yourself to break the kiss and take a step back. 

🩵 “I'm sorry.” you murmur, well aware of how furiously you are blushing, and Elrond simply smiles in return, shakes his head, and offers you his hand once more to help you mount your horse. You take your time riding back to the citadel, and once the imposing profile of the palace stands out against the horizon, shrouded in the encroaching darkness, you sigh to yourself, disappointed that your and Elrond's time together has come to an end even though you have spent the better part of your day with him. “May I come with you to take Baranir from the nursery?” your friend asks, and you happily accept, glad that he and your child have also become fond of each other. You reach the nursery, walking close enough your hands brush against each other, and you expect to find the matron, or a couple of the nurses, taking care of the children…

🩵 But they aren’t; the spacious room is completely empty and dark, empty save for Baranir, who is crying inconsolably in a tiny pen, naked save for his nappy, the stench making it clear he hasn’t been changed in hours. “What is happening? Where is everyone?” you ask as you take your child in your arms, horrified as you realise that he hasn’t been fed, and that given the red mark on his cheek, he’s probably been slapped as well “Why in Manwë’s name was my son left here alone and uncared for?!” Elrond has no idea, obviously, but offers to go search for the nurses while you take of Baranir; you nod mutely, grateful for the help but unable to focus on anything that is not the crying, hungry child in your arms.

🩵 You quickly change your baby’s diaper, dispose of the dirty one, and prepare a meal with the supplies you find in the nursery’s tiny kitchen. “It’s alright, my love; your nana is here now, and no one will hurt you anymore.” you try to comfort him, holding him close to your chest, and finally Baranir’s heartbreaking sobbing calms down. Beyond the slap his soft cheek must have received -by whom? You don’t know, but as soon as you find out the Elf responsible will ruin the day they were begotten, and not even the whole Lindon army will stop you from tearing them to shreds!- he’s fortunately unscathed, but you don’t even want to think about what could have happened if he had remained alone through the night, not on a comfortable bed but in that tiny pen without even a pillow or a blanket. Where in Mordor are the nurses?!

🩵 Your child, clean and fed and reassured, has finally fallen asleep when Elrond returns, dark in the face, accompanied by one of the kitchen maids who, your friend explains, has offered to stay with Baranir while you’re away. “She has four children of her own; she has promised to guard him well.” Elrond explains, while the maid, who you know as a decent, kind individual, nods “(name), you should come; we have found the matron.”

🩵 You meet the Elf responsible for the safety of your son, and of so many other children of the citadel, in the kitchen, where the captain of the guards has summoned her from her room. Backed into a corner, forced to either confess or spend the next months in the citadel jails, the matron confesses she had deliberately left poor little Baranir alone, out of spite for you, your condition of nubile mother and, today specifically, your decision of entrusting your child to the nursery even though, she had been informed, you had a free day. Since today there were, unusually, no other children to be cared for at the nursery, and she and the others would have been free to go home if it weren’t for him, the matron had decided Baranir deserved to pay for his mother’s sins; she was convinced you would not come pick him up before tomorrow morning, and that therefore she had all the time to make sure her misdeeds would not be discovered. So she dismissed her assistants, promising she would remain with the child, and then left him alone. She also confesses, defiant as if she actually considered herself innocent of any guilt, of the many times she had deliberately postponed or failed to take care of your son when he needed her, feeding or changing or simply comforting him when he got scared or woke up from a nightmare, and even that -the most terrible thing of all- that slap whose signs you had noticed on Baranir’s cheek was not the first your poor baby had endured ever since he was admitted to the nursery. 

🩵 You have known anger, rage, and even fury in your life, but nothing compares to the feeling of burning hate and desire for revenge -not to mention guilt- that has filled your fëa as you listened to the sins of the Elf-woman in front of you; you are furious to the point you wish you could kill her with a look, and since you can’t, you quickly act. “You bitch!” you scream, a word you had never uttered in your centuries-long life, and you pounce on her, punch her in the face with all your strength, and keep hitting her once you have thrown her to the floor while the matron, who obviously has no way to react, tries desperately to defend herself “You could have killed him! You did not dare confront me, and you picked on a defenceless child? You monster! I am going to kill you!” 

🩵 The captain, parent of three children, observes the scene without intervening, while Elrond struggles to separate you and your victim. He begs you to stop, because while he understands your anger, private violence is not the proper way to seek justice. “I do not care!” you scream “And I would not even if the King threw her to prison for the rest of eternity! I am going to kill her, she deserves it…!” In the end other Elves intervene to separate the two of you; the matron, still defiant despite her bruised face -and given the way she breathes, you might have broken one of her ribs or two- is led away, first to the healers and then to her room, to remain there until her punishment will be decided. “You better go back to your child, (name); you are excused from your duties for tomorrow morning, since I am sure the King will ask for you.” he captain says, and you nod brusquely before setting out towards the nursery. Elrond follows you, but he remains silent until you have taken back your child and dismissed the maid, with your thanks. 

🩵 “(name), I am sorry.” he murmurs, his lovely dark eyes full of pain and guilt “It is all my fault; if I had not insisted we spent the day together, Baranir would be…” You assure him he has no fault, since he couldn’t have known, and sadly the abuse had been going on longer than a single day, even though your child’s sunny disposition and good health had hidden it. “I need to go now.” you murmur. Baranir is safe in your arms, fast asleep, but you can’t forget what he must have gone through, and what could have happened had you, by complete accident, not noticed what was happening; perhaps you never will “Forgive me, Elrond, but… I need some time with him.” Your friend nods. “Will I see you tomorrow?” he asks tentatively, as if actually fearing a negative answer, and the sight breaks your heart. “Of course; I really enjoyed our day together, whatever happened after.” you reassure him “And I would like to do it again; now I have to focus on my child, but I do not regret accepting your offer, and you really have no fault.” Reassured, Elrond bids you goodnight, and chastely kisses your cheek before departing.

🩵 You’re able to resist until you’ve reached the barracks, and then your self-control crumbles. Silent tears fall down your cheek as you prepare your sleeping child for the night and then put him not in his cot but in yours, so as to watch over him like you haven’t done until now. “Forgive me, my little darling… your nana loves you so much, and she is so sorry she could not protect you…” you murmur, kissing his brow and soft cheek, and you feel unworthy even of that, like an Elf who has committed a heinous crime would consider themselves undeserving of sailing to Valinor. Your child is safe now, yes, alive and not seriously hurt, but who can say what lasting damage this terrible experience may have had on his still fragile mind? Two months of abuse… you really wish Elrond had let you punish the matron as she deserves, but in your heart you know the real culprit for what happened, the one who should be blamed, is you.

🩵 How could you not see it? This is the question you keep asking yourself as you take your boots and tunic off, lay down next to Baranir and cover you both with a blanket. You spend most of your time free from your duties with him, and all your acquaintances, including other parents and even those who disapprove of your state as a nubile parent, have always considered you a doting mother, devoted to her child; during your pregnancy, you even asked a friend of yours, a nurse, for permission to accompany her during her rounds in order to better learn to care for your child and to know what to do in case they got hurt or fell sick. But then why didn’t you realise your son was being mistreated? You’ve never noticed bruises or other signs on his little body when you bathed or changed him, and never woke up because he was crying from a nightmare. Is Baranir so brave and resilient, at his tender age, to withstand all the mistreatments he was subjected to without betraying any distress? Granted, your child can’t yet speak beyond nana and puppy -he likes dogs, your little darling- so it’s not like he attempted to tell you what was happening to him and you ignored him for whatever reason, but you are his mother! You have taken care of him, practically alone, since the moment he came out of your body and you would gladly give your life for him if need be. Shouldn’t you have felt it, somehow? Perceived, in the same way a warrior realises danger approaches unseen, that something was not right? 

🩵 Maybe you should have, but you didn’t, and this is what you’ll never forgive yourself for. Baranir is a happy child, usually cheerful, but maybe he did show signs of his distress, signs you failed to catch because you were too occupied with something else. After all, you’ve spent the last two months twice as busy as you normally are, caught between your duties as a guard and your secret mission, and that left you so little time for yourself. Can it be that, too occupied as you were with other matters, you ended up neglecting your son? You couldn’t avoid going on patrol and spending hours on the training grounds -or could you? Was presenting yourself as a soldier looking for a post really the best option to explain your presence in Lindon, or could you have concocted another plan that left you more time to yourself, and for your duties as a mother?- but you have to admit, work is not all you have devoted your time to since you’ve arrived in the kingdom…

🩵 There’s Elrond, who almost without realising you have come to meet almost every day, and not rarely without your child as a chaperon. Now those were hours, and a full day today!, that you could, and should, have spent focusing on Baranir, rather than on a friend. How could you be so dumb - no, worse, so selfish as to neglect a creature so fragile and tiny, who had literally no one else to care for him in the whole kingdom, to spend hours walking in the gardens, or sharing a drink in the kitchens? Today was your first day of freedom in two months, and did you devote a part of it to Baranir, playing with him and teaching him to walk and speak? No! You went out with your friend, leaving your poor baby in the clutches of an Elf who would not look out of place as Melkor’s lieutenant! What could have happened if after your kiss, you and Elrond had decided to spend the night together? A child of Baranir’s age still needs to be watched over at night; left for so many hours alone in that tiny pen, there is no way to know what could have happened…

🩵 The fault is yours and all yours. The matron failed her duties tremendously, there is no doubt about that, but at the same time, you had perceived she disliked you because of your being unmarried; how could you not at least suspect she would not pay Baranir the same attention as the other children, the attention he so needed? Has this happened back in your home in the Greenwood as well? Did any of the nurses who routinely took care of your son while you were busy protecting the princess neglect your son because they disapproved of you, and wanted him to pay the price? Maybe your first mistake was bringing Baranir with you in Lindon; you thought the best place for him was with you, and that leaving him behind for a period of weeks or months would have been unbearable for you and harmful for him, but the princess had proposed to take of him personally in your absence, and since no one loves your child as much as Finwiel does apart for you, you are certain he would have been safe, looked after, and raised lovingly. You took your child away from his home, from his friends, to then neglect him in favour of a new friend. How could you be so cruel? You don’t deserve motherhood; you don’t deserve anything. 

[sansaorgana]

hi babes!! i saw that you’re taking requests for wil ohmsford and i NEEDED to request something bc OMG THATS MY MAN!! S2 wil has a literal chokehold on me…like that scene where he’s injured and on the bed with mareth helping him GOODNIGHT!

so like imagine it’s wil and his gf and he’s just being so stubborn with her and not letting her help, but she’s so sweet and caring that he just folds for her and goes so soft :(( like he cries at her touch and she just kisses him and tells him he loves him/he’ll be okay while patching him up 😣😣 and they both just sweetly make out (or do more..)

also i know deep down that man has a praise kink so ☺️ OK I NEED TO BE SEDATED AND LOCKED OFF THIS APP

i love your work SO MUCH girl hope ur doing well <3

hello, love! 🌼 thank you for the request 😀 it was the only one with Wil that I have received LOL 😅 and it was my first time writing for him as well 😏 I made it smutty and he's a veeery soft boy 🤭

I had to close my requests for now because I got so many 🙏🏻

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

Wil was kind, sweet and obliging most of the time but he tended to be stubborn as well. Because of his kind nature, he was easy to take advantage of sometimes and he could be clumsy in the situations where clumsiness could cost you a life. So, obviously, you were worried about him. Especially now, when some fanatics were hunting magic users like your boyfriend.

His training to become a healer was not going as well as he had been imagining it and it was bringing him down these days. You remained by his side and waited for him to finish his course so you could go back to your village where he would help the people and heal them. But so far everything seemed to go wrong. Wil was determined to become a healer, though, even though everyone kept telling him that perhaps it was not his calling, after all. Magic was his gift. On the other hand, you didn’t want him to use it too often if there were people hunting magic users. And magic itself had its price as well…

You were sitting on the edge of the bed and worrying. Trying to read a book, but it was difficult to focus on it. It was late and dark and Wil wasn’t back yet, which was causing your thoughts to go places you would rather not go to. You put the book down and started to fidget with your fingers nervously. The sounds of laughter and screams coming from a pub nearby were the only noises you could hear on that warm night. That, and the crickets.

You stood up and began pacing around worryingly when Wil finally came back to your small house that you called home these days. But it didn’t matter because your home was where he was either way.

“Wil!” You scolded him at first but when you approached him, you noticed that his shirt was torn open and there was a huge, bleeding wound on his ribs. His face had a fresh bruise, too, and he was bleeding from his lip.

You reached your hands out to delicately touch his chest and he hissed at your touch. You raised your widened eyes to look into his baby blue ones.

“Wil! What happened?” You asked him in panic and he limped to your bed to sit on the edge of it and groaned out of pain.

“I was at the pub…” He confessed and winced.

“At the pub? What for?” You asked and sat next to him, caressing his hair gently.

“It doesn’t matter now,” he shook his head. You cupped his face to turn it around and force him to look at you.

“What happened?” You bit on your lower lip as your fingers caressed his cheeks. Your eyes filled with tears at the sight of him being in so much pain.

“It’s nothing, really. Just hand me the stones, please,” he pointed at the nightstand table.

He had them hidden in the drawer there, in a brown leather sack – three blue elfstones that he could activate with his magic. But whenever he would, you could see how much it cost him. You didn’t want Wil to use them as much as he did. After the horrors he had been through, he would often use the elfstones to simply run away from his problems and ease his mind.

You furrowed your brow and pulled up the sleeves of his jacket and shirt to reveal the burns on his hands from using the elfstones too much. You shook your head. No, you didn’t want him to use them again. At least not for this sort of thing – which you could patch up perfectly well on your own.

“Let me see…” You gently touched his fresh wound again. “It’s not infected. I can handle that.”

“No!” Wil snapped and you froze. His face softened immediately. “No, darling, I will do it, just hand me the stones.”

“I will not,” you stated with all seriousness.

“Fine then, I’ll do it myself,” he groaned and moved up to be able to reach the nightstand but the sharp pain suddenly worsened and he winced in discomfort, still stubbornly trying to reach for the drawer.

“Wil, please, stop,” you pleaded with tears in your eyes. “Stop, I can handle it. It’s gonna be fine,” you grabbed his hand that he was reaching out and you squeezed it in yours reassuringly. “My love, please, just let me take care of you,” you caressed his cheek with your free hand.

Without a word, Wil nodded and you saw a few tears escaping his pretty eyes. You wiped them with your thumb before they would stream down his face. You leaned in and placed a kiss upon his forehead.

“We have to get rid of that shirt, yes?” You talked him through it softly as you began slowly getting rid of his clothes.

Wil didn’t protest this time. Quite the opposite – he started to lean into your touch and let you take care of him. Nothing but soft whimpers of pain were leaving his pretty lips while you were shushing him lovingly.

“Shhh, pretty boy, I can handle that, it’s fine,” you kept saying.

Once he was in his underwear, you helped him to sit down on your bed and lean on the pillows. You caressed his hair one more time before placing a kiss on the top of his head. Then you got up to get your first aid kit. To be honest, you had quite a few lying around since Wil was training to become a healer.

When you sat on the edge of the bed to disinfect his wounds, he hissed out of pain and sobbed a little, instantly blushing at this display of vulnerability.

“Oh, baby, it’s okay, I love you,” you kissed his flushed cheeks. “It’s okay to cry when it hurts, my love,” you assured him and went back to gently disinfecting the wounds and dabbing the soothing ointment onto them. “So… What happened at the pub, Wil?” You raised your eyebrow at him when you spotted his muscles slowly relaxing under your touch.

“It’s… It’s nothing…” He looked away, visibly not wanting to share the details.

“My boyfriend comes back home all wounded and it’s nothing?” You couldn’t help a little snort.

Wil swallowed a lump in his throat as he hesitated. Finally, he spoke up:

“Just promise me that you won’t be worried,” he looked into your eyes. His own blue ones were giving you a look of a scared puppy and you leaned in to join your foreheads together before rubbing your nose with his.

“How can I not be, sweet darling? I always am worried about you, I love you,” you whispered softly. “But what is it? You must tell me.”

“I went there because I was in a bad mood and didn’t want to ruin your evening with my grumpiness. Some people recognised me,” Wil explained. “They were not from here and I dealt with them. They won’t spread the word about me, so don’t worry, alright?” He quickly added but you were furrowing your brows at his concerning words already.

“What do you mean that some people recognised you?” You asked. “As a magic user?”

“No,” Wil shook his head. “I mean, yes. But they weren’t after me just because of that. Apparently there’s… There’s…” He didn’t know how to finish his sentence as he looked away again. “There’s a price on my head.”

You froze at his words as your heart skipped a beat. A price on your sweet Wil’s head? For what? For saving the world? For being the most adorable man with those cute short tips that you adored? No, it made no sense. But the world was full of cruel people who would want to hurt good men like him.

“We must leave this place,” you finally said.

“No. Not before I finish my training,” Wil insisted, looking at you pleadingly.

“I don’t care if you become a healer or not. I don’t want something bad to happen to you. If we go back home and end up as simple farmers, I’ll be just as happy. I just want you to be okay…” You tried to reason with him.

“I do care. I want to become a healer!” Wil exclaimed and then he cleared his throat and looked down. “I know I’m a failure but I want to finish this training.”

“You’re not a failure, Wil,” you sighed and moved the first aid kit aside after taking the bandage out of it. You adjusted Wil softly to have a better access to the wound on his chest and you began to wrap the bandage around it. “Please, don’t call yourself that. You saved the world, remember?” You tried to cheer him up somehow. It was hard to believe sometimes that this guy was a hero and he seemed to be forgetting that as well.

“Yeah, but that was not a part of the plan. My plan was to become a healer and I’m failing at that,” he whispered shakily.

You didn’t want to argue with him more tonight so you just pursed your lips and finished to bandage him in silence. Then you kissed his forehead and leaned him back onto the pillows before standing up to put the first aid kit back to its place. You also washed your hands in a bowl of water and all this time you kept overthinking that tonight Wil could have lost his life. And instead of running away from this place, he insisted on staying.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Wil asked you and you turned around to face him.

“I’m worried,” you admitted and he cracked a smile that filled your heart with so much love that you were scared it would explode.

“You promised you wouldn’t.”

“I did not say such a thing, Wil Ohmsford!” You protested before approaching the bed to crawl up to him and join your lips together in a soft and sweet kiss.

You were careful with him because of his injuries but also because you were always gentle with him overall. How could you not be? He was the sweetest man in the world, of that you were sure. As sweet as a bag of candy and always so kind. Only Wil could see the goodness in everyone and their worth to be loved. And he was yours, all yours at the end of the day. 

Just thinking of that made you moan into his mouth as you placed your hands on his shoulders and gently moved up to sit astride him. Your lips were still connected, not leaving each other even for a moment but, eventually, you pulled away to catch a breath and he looked up with glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Let me make you feel good, pretty boy,” you breathed out and he nodded softly before you leaned in to join your lips again but this time the kiss was more passionate and eager.

Wil placed his hands on your hips and softly pulled on the fabric of the nightgown you were already wearing. He exposed the soft flesh of your thighs and your ass before letting his hands wander all over. You could feel through your underwear that he was getting hard under his own. You smirked at that and started to kiss him with even more passion, assaulting his mouth with your tongue, making him whimper under you. Your hands moved to his jaw now, cupping his face to hold it in place while you were devouring his lips.

Your hips started to move, humping his erection in circles as you started to moan into his mouth. You could feel the shivers going down his body at your movements – it never took much for Wil to be like that for you. So desperate, nearly pathetically but you’d never call it this way. He was just devoted to you and he worshipped the ground you were walking on. To have you pleasuring him was always turning him into a whiny mess who would stare up at you lovingly. Meanwhile, when it was him on top of you, he would always try his hardest to make you feel good. He was a giver and a pleaser – not that you wanted to complain about that.

But now it was time for him to receive all of your sweet loving. You moved his hands up and helped him to get rid of your nightgown completely before throwing it on the floor. Then you placed his big hands on your breasts and Wil squeezed them immediately as you smiled.

You broke the kiss again because of the slight lack of oxygen and you caressed his hair while moaning softly at the friction his erection was giving to your needy pussy.

“You feel so good, my love, so good,” you assured him.

The praise was enough to feel that his cock started to leak precum. You smiled at that but didn’t want to tease him.

“Here, let me…” You took his underwear off and freed his hard, achy cock. The tip was swollen and drooling. “Let me take care of that mess, baby,” you cooed to him and adjusted yourself on his lap to grab his length and start pumping it slowly.

You watched Wil’s pretty eyes fluttering and rolling to the back of his head as he threw his head back. His hands still played with your breasts and pulled on your nipples that made you moan each time. Broken whimpers were leaving his lips whenever you would run your thumb across the wet tip of his cock and your free hand caressed the muscles of his chest.

“You’re such a pretty boy,” you praised him and felt more of his precum spurting out onto your hand. You gasped audibly at that as Wil whined. “Oh, my darling…” You leaned in to pepper his face with tiny little kisses. “My sweet, sweet boy…”

You moved up slightly and pressed your clothed hot pussy to the wet tip of his cock. Your hand, still wrapped around his length, began to rub yourself with it. Wil forced his eyes to open as he kept watching you in awe with his mouth slightly open and hazy eyes.

“You want to feel my pussy, baby?” You asked him sweetly between heavy gasps. “You have to ask for it, my love.”

You loved to tease him like that although you needed him inside of you just as much.

“P-please,” Wil whined and lowered his hands from your breasts to your hips to help your movements.

“Good boy,” you praised him.

“Please,” he whimpered and you could see how his eyes filled with tears.

At that delicious sight, you decided to stop torturing him and you moved up to remove your own underwear as fast as possible. When you were both finally naked, you grabbed his cock and guided it into your pussy. Lowering yourself slowly on his length, you were getting drunk on Wil’s whimpers. His hands kept squeezing your hips to help you and tears of pleasure escaped his eyes.

“Aw, baby, shh,” you shushed him once you were seated. You moved closer to his body, carefully, making sure you wouldn’t cause him pain by accident. 

Wil wrapped his strong arms around your body and hid his face in your chest, between your breasts. You kissed the top of his head and began to slowly bounce on his cock. He moaned and clinged to you as you started to chase your highs. Your soft moans filled the air while you rocked on his cock up and down and back and forth with your hands on Wil’s shoulders. You held onto them to keep steady and occasionally scratched his skin there gently.

“You’re such a good boy to me, baby,” you assured him when you felt his hips needily bucking up into you for more. It was making you feel dizzy since his cock was hitting your sweet spot each time. “Such a good boy,” you added.

Wil turned his head and kissed your breast while you caressed his cheek softly and picked up your pace.

“I want to protect you from everything, baby,” you whispered and held his head delicately as if he could break if you pressed too hard.

Because sometimes you were scared of that, actually – he was so sweet and so good that you were scared he was not real and if you squeezed him too tight, he would disappear.

The moves of his hips became more chaotic now and after a few rougher thrusts, he spilled himself inside of you with a loud, shaky moan, hiding his face between your tits again. The sight and the sound alongside the feeling of all the shivers going down his body was enough to make you reach your high, too. You buried your face in his hair and came hard, squeezing his spent cock with a whimper and fingernails digging into his shoulders.

You stayed like that for a while, catching your breaths. You could feel him softening slowly inside of you but your skins were so sticky from sweat that you didn’t want to pull away from him at all. However, eventually, you had to.

Wil leaned back onto the pillows again and his eyes rolled back with a sigh. You chuckled at that and stood up to grab a cloth and wash yourselves although your legs were shaky now.

“Do you feel better now, baby?” You asked him with a sweet smile when he forced his eyes to open and focus them on you.

“You’re an angel, sweetheart,” he praised you.

You smiled at the words and dropped the cloth onto the floor before crawling up on the bed and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Always watching over you, darling,” you assured him.

MASTERLIST

[astrolocherry]

The Archetypes of Venus in Libra - Dream Girls

The Venus in Libra individual spells a unique magical social charm. She really comes to animate astral form amongst receptive company, and feels substantial before those who are willing to look past the masks and marvellous masquerade of her personas.

Venus in Libra eyes become mirrors that reflect the bouquet rising from the heart of the onlooker. People see their own image of exquisite beauty in her, and often feel uplifted and content as a product of time spent with her. It’s also possible then that people feel subconsciously entitled to her attention, or that she belongs to them. She may even experience some form of obsession or fixation from a former lover, stranger, or close admirer.

Beyonce - Contrast of Feminine (Venus/Libra) with the Masculine (opposite Mars/Aries)  “You don't listen to her. You don't care how it hurts. But you’re just a boy..” Lorde - “Be a part of the love club. Everything will glow for you” Mya - "These streets for affection. I got you. ... What kinda of girl, you like? ... Tell me, am I your type?" Anna Nicole Smith - Dionysian-Venusian. Aphrodite’s Grotto branded ‘ Blonde Bombshell’ on earth Grace Kelly - The Three Graces of Venus. A film actress who later became royalty, penned memoir ‘Born to Be Aphrodite’

Parasol of Prettiness - Dignified, demure delicacy, and innocence. Admired from afar, misunderstood up close. Seemingly incorruptible. White dresses, flowers, lace. Maintains gracefulness and repose despite outside conditions Incurable style and aesthetic taste.

Bonne Belle -  Pure and pretty, amicable however possessing a wilfulness that refuses to submit to unbecoming demands. Charm effect and refined intelligence that is resourceful and often underestimated. While kind and cordial by nature, she will still speak up when witness to a violation or injustice 

Broken Cutie - Engaged, animate, witty, and charming. An altruism, innocence, and sweet sensitivity repeatedly bruised and irreparably damaged by external hands of Fate moving through other people 

“I Have You Now My Pretty” - arouses a sense of urgency to come to her rescue; her plight ultimately becomes a uniting force.

Lady Favour -  Her love interest’s promise and prized possession. Keeping her promise relies on staying alive and returning from battle (Mars).

Cherry

[kanohivolitakk]

Ok let me explain why I reacted as I did in my last post, which was indeed regarding the scrapped Toa Inika concepts essentially vindicating why I'm one of the few people who believe love not being canon is a good thing.

Firstly, before anyone gets assumptions let me clarify something. I don't think having romance existing in Bionicle is inherently a bad idea in and of itself. Those who followed me in le olden days know I do ship characters from this stupid series. Romance existing in the world and characters having romantic relationships is something I don't inherently oppose.

That said

I've always believed that romance wouldn't work as a proper element of the story itself and would've made the series worse for a few factors.

For starters, I feel romance kinda, clashes with Bionicles core essence. Bionicle is fundamentally an action adventure story that focuses on mystery, intrigue and discovery in a fantastical setting, with heavy emphasis on worldbuilding and intrigue. Sure, there are other series with similar styles and goals that have romance. But usually they happen to only have part of those elements than all of them. Bionicle is already packed as is, so as such having romance would've just muddied the pack than made actual worthwhile addition to the story

Secondly...romance in these kinds of stories is rarely done well, unless it is one of the core components. In action and fantasy stories aimed at kids and teens romance is rarely (if ever) done well. Usually it's regulated to onedimensional love-interests, will they won't they plots or compelling characters being ruined by forced romance plots. While there are exceptions, most of the time romance in these stories feels forced rather than organic, and as such more of a detriment to the narrative than a benefit. Given how Bionicle was released during the heyday of mediocre forced romances and how the series already isn't that character centric to begin with, I absolutely believe the series would've stumbled with handling romance.

Thirdly, it's just nice to have a story that doesn't have romance at all and instead focuses on fun adventures and interesting mysteries. As I said, romance could've most likely been felt shoehorned or forced in, and thus its nice for Bionicle to exist as is without any unnecessary elements to drag it down. But in addition it's just...really refreshing and freeing. A lot of stories (especially of the time) feel very amatonormative where romance is expected as a natural part of live and thus exists in everything no matter what. As someone who both was annoyed by romance being everywhere no matter what (and is possibly onarospec on some degree) that kind of..refusal to amatonormativity is just...really nice.

Fourthly, it allows platonic relationships to shine. I feel that often (both in real life, fiction and fandom spaces) romantic relatinships are put bigger emphasis on than platonic relationships, whenplatonic relationships are just as valuable if not moreso. Platonic relationships are undervalued and certain traits are seen as inherently romantic. As such its just...nice to see characters have deep bonds and connections without being forced red string of fate either by the narrative, fandom or both.

And lastly...I just kinda prefer shipping in fandom over canonical relationships. Unless the story is focused on romance, has romantic relationship being important for the larger narrative/themes or there's a relationship that is geniunely compelling and fascinating I just prefer when audience can choose which characters they see being "together" rather than the writer "forcing" a relationship onto them. Like, I love Daggerspider but part of that is because I get to choose the ship myself rather than Greg (or anyone else) forcing me to accept it as canon.

So yeah that's why I always believed romance not being canon was ultimately a good thing and why I am somewhat against the fandoms desire to make it canon. If you want to meet me halfway I'm willing to accept romance as an element of the setting or have romantic relationships be subtext/canonicaal couples. But Bionicle should never be focused on romance because its lack of romance is ultimately for it's benefit I feel.

[justalonelybitch]

Wilful Misfortune

Karina & Winter x Ex Trainee F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, Break-Ups, Depression, Isolation, Social Anxiety, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Suicidal Thoughts, Mentions of Death

Word Count: 10.7k

Buy Me A Coffee :)

A content smile graced your lips as you leaned back against Jimin’s chest, basking in the golden glow of the sun that flooded through the window. Her arms wrapped securely around your waist, face nuzzled into the crook of your neck as you simply enjoyed the rare opportunity to just be with one another. Neither of you paid much attention to the movie that played in the background, far too engrossed in one another. “God, I missed this,” Jimin sighed blissfully, lips brushing against your skin as she spoke. Grinning broadly, you laid your head on her shoulder, meeting her gentle gaze. “Me too, I can’t remember the last time we did this,” you mumbled, lips jutting out in a pout.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just been so busy lately,” Jimin frowned apologetically, fingers toying with the fabric of the hoodie you wore, her hoodie to be precise. “It’s not your fault,” you smiled, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek in understanding. “I know, but I just wish I had more time with you.” She huffed, unconsciously leaning further into your touch. “Anything you give me is enough,” you assured, brushing the pad of your thumb over her cheek. “Still,” she insisted, dropping her head back to the crook of your neck with a regretful sigh. Your brows pinched at the sight, awkwardly shifting on the couch as you twisted to face her. “I knew what I was doing when I agreed to date you Jimin, and I wouldn’t dare change a thing.” You declared, forcing her to meet your determined gaze.

“Even when we can’t spend time with each other for months?” Jimin questioned in mild disbelief, suddenly overcome by a river of doubts that flooded her mind. “Even then.” You said, wasting no time before shutting down her concerns. “Why?” She uttered weakly, tone laced with uncertainty. “Because I love you,” you breathed out, the words rolling off your tongue with ease. Jimin couldn’t help the smile that naturally quirked at her lips upon hearing those words, her eyes softening by tenfold. “Besides, moments like these are worth it. Every minute I get to spend with you makes up for all the lost time,” you whispered, playfully nudging your nose against hers. Scrunching her face up and releasing an airy chuckle, Jimin pressed her forehead to yours.

“I love you so much,” she confessed, lips barely brushing against yours as her eyes fluttered shut. You grinned, eagerly surging forward to connect your lips, hands clutching her shoulders for support. Jimin smiled against your lips, heart thrashing wildly against her ribs, warmth blooming in her chest. Pulling back with a breathless giggle, you quickly pecked her lips before curling up against her. Chuckling, she carefully snaked her arms around your waist, pressing her lips to the side of your head as she began to gently comb a hand through your hair. You comfortably tucked your head into the crook of her neck, nose nuzzling against her soft skin. Jimin happily sunk further into the couch cushions, settling comfortably below you.

The familiar creak of a door followed by light footfall had the two of you glancing up in curiosity. Neither of you bothered to move, her members already used to the two of you lazing around on off days. “Hey Minjeong,” Jimin greeted casually as the younger girl rounded the corner. The latter merely nodded her head in acknowledgement before meeting your eyes, gaze turning hostile as she stared between the two of you. Minjeong rolled her eyes as you sent her smile, strolling off without a word. Jimin turned to you with a sympathetic frown, hating the way your smile faltered. She studied the way your eyes followed Minjeong hopefully, sighing as the flicker of hope faded and your eyes dulled.

“You okay baby?” Jimin asked, brows furrowing as you reluctantly turned to meet her gaze. Nodding your head slowly, you sent her a reassuring smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. Truth be told, the leader never managed to uncover the reason behind Minjeong’s evident hatred for you. Back in her trainee days, she recalled the two of you being closer than Jimin was to either of you. Always joined at the hip and giggling about some nonsense no one else seemed to understand. You shared a bond like no other, but now, Minjeong couldn’t even hear your name without scowling. These days you always looked saddened around the younger, but also hopeful, wordlessly holding your hand out to a friendship that Minjeon had slammed the door on years ago.

“Talk to me,” Jimin urged, sitting up as she adjusted you in her lap. “It’s nothing,” you muttered with a sigh, glancing wistfully at the window. “You know you can tell me anything,” your girlfriend persuaded, reaching up to grasp your chin between her thumb and forefinger. “I know, I just- Can we just cuddle?” You asked, forehead creased in a frown as you stared pleadingly into her chocolate brown orbs. “Of course,” she agreed in a heartbeat, not wanting to push further. “It’s been a while since we watched the sunset together,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled you closer, easily distracting you from the previous interaction. As far as Jimin knew, neither you nor her understood why Minjeong had begun to loathe you in the first place.

~~

It was early the next morning when you awoke a painfully dry throat that longed for relief. Sleepily rubbing your eyes, you reluctantly slipped from Jimin’s warm hold, quietly padding towards the kitchen. You shuffled through the threshold, making a beeline for the fridge, happily gulping down a bottle of cold water. Once your thirst was quenched, you abruptly spun on your heel, yelping in surprise at the sight of Minjeong standing before you. She shot you an unimpressed stare, shoulder nudging yours with force as she brushed past you with a scoff. “Minjeong-ah,” you trailed off, features tainted with confliction as you stared after her. “Winter,” she corrected sharply, refusing to meet your gaze as she busied herself in the fridge.

You tilted your head in confusion, brows pinched, flinching as she harshly slammed the fridge door shut harshly. “Only my friends call me Minjeong,” she uttered, voice so cold it was unfamiliar. Your heart ached in your chest, lips sucked between your teeth. “I thought we were friends Min,” you uttered weakly, mind jumping back to a time in which the girl before you was always by your side. When you’d sworn to stay best friends forever, even if you didn’t have the luxury of debuting together, you still had your dreams, pinkies linked in a promise. “You thought wrong,” Minjeong grits out, fists tightly clenched by her side. “Please just tell me what I did wrong,” you begged, almost certain it was the millionth time you’d asked this question.

Rolling her eyes for the nth time, Minjeong picked up her plated food, storming towards the living room. “Please, Minjeong,” you pleaded, catching her by the arm. Her eyes narrowed as she glared down at your firm grip on her wrist, ripping her arm from your grasp. “It’s worse that you don’t even care enough to remember,” she huffed, nostrils flared and features hardened as she trudged away. Sighing, you ran a hand through your hair in frustration, lips pursed as your gaze followed her. For someone who was once your best friend, you couldn’t recall the last time you’d had a civil conversation. One day you woke up and the younger girl was no longer by your side, but rather going to great lengths to stray as far away from you as possible.

She was suddenly cold and disinterested, brushing you off any chance she got. Never replying to texts and barely muttering more than a few harsh words to you. Losing your best friend was a pain like no other, constantly seeing her only made it harder. She was always just out of reach, teasingly dangled before you but never truly there, not for you at least. You hated whenever the thought poisoned your mind, but it was admittedly suspicious that her sudden hatred only began a mere day after Jimin had asked you out. Minjeong wasn’t like that, she would never end a friendship over something so foolish. She would’ve talked to you, that’s what you hoped all this time. But it seemed she only grew closer to Jimin with each passing day she pushed herself further from you. 

You didn’t want to believe Minjeong may have feelings for the leader, it was a truth you were unprepared for.

~~

It was mid afternoon when Jimin sat down with her fellow members, hands undeniably shaky as she fought off her nerves. “Spit it out already, you’re scaring us,” Aeri blurted out, uncomfortable with the tense silence that loomed over them. “Is it something bad?” Yizhuo questioned with a small pout adorning her lips, brows furrowed in concern. “No, nothing bad,” their leader assured, breathing out a shaky sigh. “Is it about Y/n? I haven’t seen you this anxious since you asked her to be your girlfriend.” The main rapper observed, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Minjeong who sat quietly on the couch clenched her jaw at the mere mention of your name. Gulping harshly, Jimin nodded hesitantly, ignoring the teasing remarks that flew past Aeri’s lips.

“Listen, Y/n and I’s anniversary is coming up soon and I really wanna do something special,” Jimin confessed, anxiously toying with her sleeve at the thought. “You guys are so cute,” Yizhuo gushed, a fond smile tugging at her lips. “Everything has to be perfect for her,” their leader muttered with a determined grin, eyes filled with adoration for you. “You’re such a sap,” Aeri teased, but smiled nonetheless. “I was wondering if you guys would be willing to help,” Jimin asked carefully, gaze briefly flickering to Minjeong, who stared blankly at the window. “Of course!” The youngest exclaimed with a cheerful grin. “We’d be happy to help-” “No. Absolutely not.” Minjeong broke her silence, cutting the rapper off with her firm refusal.

“Minjeong-ah..” Yizhuo trailed off, gently grasping at her arm. Minjeong tugged her arm away harshly, crossing them over her chest defensively. “I’m not fucking helping with anything to do with her,” the short haired girl seethed, eyes alight with a burning rage. “It won’t be that bad, for Jimin-” Aeri attempted to convince her, but she was beyond that. “No. I hate that bitch, I’m not going anywhere near her,” Minjeong grumbled, glaring at the floor beneath her. “Minjeong! Don’t be rude,” Aeri scolded in disbelief, looking at the younger as if she’d grown a second head. “I don’t give a fuck,” she swore, shoulders tense as she rose to her feet, storming out of the room. “I’ll talk to her,” Yizhuo offered, sending Jimin an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it,” the eldest finally spoke up, fists clenched by her sides as she sauntered after the younger, eyes scarily dark. Upon reaching Minjeong’s room, Jimin stepped inside, slamming the door shut behind her. Startled, the younger glanced up, scoffing at the sight of her glaring leader. “Would you care to explain what the fuck that was?” Jimin questioned harshly, fueled by a protective rage. “I don’t have to explain myself,” Minjeong huffed, crossing her legs as she raised a condescending brow. “Y/n might let that bullshit slide, but I won’t,” the leader fumed, eyes narrowed as she stared down at the younger expectantly. “So explain,” Jimin demanded, hand resting at her hip.

“No,” Minjeong refused, hands balled into fists. “If not to me, then to Y/n. She deserves that much,” Jimin grits out, taking a menacing step closer. The short haired girl only adamantly shook her head, averting her gaze to the wall. “I don’t even understand why you’re so mad at her, none of us do.” Jimin cried out, running a hand through her hair in frustration. “I hate her!” Minjeong suddenly yelled, startling the elder. “Why?” Jimin asked, mildly irritated by constantly running in circles. “Because I just do!” The younger girl yelled again, a barely noticeable crack in her voice, but the leader caught it. “She misses you,” Jimin tried a softer approach, watching as Minjeong’s walls began to crumble. “I hate her-” Minjeong’s voice broke as she finally met her leader's gaze, eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s her fault,” Minjeong sniffled, no longer having the energy to shout. “She doesn’t know what she did, but I know she’s sorry,” Jimin attempted to mend your broken friendship. “Y/n loves you,” the leader pushed further, trying to garner a reaction. “If she loves me, then she should leave me alone,” the short haired girl huffed, turning her back to Jimin. “I hate that I have to see her in our dorms, hear her name everyday, you all talk about how amazing she is but I fucking hate her,” Minjeong grit out in a whisper, a stay tear rolling down her cheek. The younger scoffed lightly, her emotions all bubbling over at once after years of suppression. “Minjeong, what really happened between the two of you?” Jimin asked gently, forgetting about her role as your girlfriend, but rather being a good friend to her closest member.

~~

3 years ago

It was a late one summer evening when you ungraciously stumbled through the halls of the trainee dorms at SM Entertainment. The blindingly bright grin that adorned your lips almost concealed the tears that endlessly cascaded down your rosy cheeks as you sniffled. You willed yourself to remain smiling as you rose your tightly clenched fist to rap against the familiar door. It swung open mere seconds later, Minjeong appearing before you with a cheery grin that faded as she caught sight of your tears that glistened in the sunlight. Her brows furrowed as she ushered you inside, slamming the door shut before turning to you in concern. She gently swiped at your dampened cheeks with the pad of her thumb, lips jutting out in a pout.

“What happened Y/n?” She questioned, reaching out to grasp your hand in support. “Nothing,” you shook your head, smiling uncharacteristically wide. Minjeong’s forehead creased in a frown at your words, giving your hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement as you hiccupped. She watched as your walls began to crumble, eyes filling with fresh tears as you gazed into her chocolate brown orbs that swirled with care. “I didn’t make it Min,” you uttered weakly, lip quivering. “What do you mean?” She asked in confusion, mind travelling far and wide. “They pulled me from the line-up,” you murmured, the words finally beginning to sink in. “They what?” Minjeong whispered in disbelief, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill.

“We’re not gonna debut together,” you continued, staring blankly ahead in realisation. Your best friend shook her head rapidly in doubt, wishing it were a nightmare she’d wake up from any second now. But her dream never came true, your loose grasp on her hand a reminder of the harsh reality she was faced with. “I don’t know what to do Minjeong,” you stuttered out weakly, eyes glassy. “This is my whole life,” you admitted, staring at the younger in mild horror. “I wasted my entire life only to end up failing,” you stated, realisation washing over you like a bucket of ice cold water. “That’s not true,” she huffed, desperately trying to salvage what was left of this hopeless dream.

“There’s always the next group, or other companies-” She argued, but to no avail. “Stop it Minjeong, it’s hopeless,” you mumbled in defeat. “Let’s face it, I’m not good enough. I never will be,” you spoke monotonous, but she knew you were broken. “Please don’t say that,” she begged, her bottom lip trembling. “Minjeong-ah?” You asked gently, lacing your fingers with hers. She merely hummed in response, mind searching for any possible solution. “Can we just pretend like everything’s normal?” You pleaded with the younger, wanting to forget about the overwhelming situation and just go back to how things were. “Sure,” Minjeong agreed without missing a beat, for there was nothing else she could do for you.

“You get the soju, and I’ll pick a movie,” you proposed. “Pick a good movie,” Minjeong demanded with a sniffle, acting as though everything was fine was the least she could do. Taking the time to wipe her tears as she pulled the soju out from its hiding place, she padded towards you with a believable smile. “What’d you pick?” She questioned eagerly, plopping down by your side on the bed. She groaned when you showed her the screen, “you know I prefer action!” She exclaimed at your choice but you merely smiled innocently. Minjeong huffed, crossing her arms over her chest with the shake of her head. “I thought I told you to pick a good movie,” she grumbled under her breath, enjoying the sound of your laughter that followed. Just like normal.

You only managed to get halfway through the film before the both of you began to drunkenly giggle as you pulled silly faces at one another. A content smile falling on your lips as the younger girl pointed at you in a fit of laughter, bottles of soju laying discarded on the floor. Her cackles began to die down upon noticing your regretful expression. “What’s wrong?” She hiccuped, forehead creased in a frown. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise,” you mumbled apologetically, glancing at the roof thoughtfully. “What do you mean?” She grumbled, brows furrowed cutely. “I’m sorry we can’t debut together, it’s my fault.” You sighed, Minjeong’s lips jutting out in a pout at your words.

“Let’s make a new promise!” She cheered in excitement, clumsily crawling towards you. You hummed thoughtfully, turning to face her outstretched pinky that hovered before your face, linking yours with hers without hesitation. “Let’s promise to be best friends forever!” Minjeong grinned, eyes lit up with joy and cheeks flushed from the alcohol. You reflected her smile with one of your own features softening at the proposal. Just as you were about to pull apart, she gripped your hand tightly in her own, brows sewn in doubt. “I don’t want this promise to ever break,” she mumbled, lips pursed pensively. “How do we make sure what happened last time never happens again?” Minjeong asked, fearful of yet another broken promise.

Her gaze briefly dropped to your lips before travelling back to your eyes, leaving her to blink in surprise at the bizarre thought that crossed her mind. “Minjeong-ah,” you whispered dazedly, suddenly acutely aware of how her face was only mere inches from yours, the way her eyes kept flickering to your lips as she edged closer. She tilted her head in wonder, chocolate brown orbs sparked with a dangerous curiosity as tension lingered between your lips. “Can I try something Y/n?” Minjeong whispered, your eyes filled with uncertainty, but the second she met your gaze it all washed away. So you nodded, nose nudging against hers before her lips were barely brushing against yours in an innocent peck.

Her glossy pink lips moved hesitantly against yours in a clumsy kiss, hand blindly searching for yours. You felt the younger quirk a smile as her hand found yours, fingers lacing together as you grasped tightly at one another's hands. Her eagerness to deepen the kiss could only be described as uncoordinated bliss when her tongue hesitantly swiped across your lips, nose bumping yours. She basked in the taste of your strawberry chapstick, before pulling away with a breathless chuckle. “What’s so funny?” You asked, sporting a nervous smile. “I was just thinking about how I won’t be needing to borrow any of your chapstick anymore,” Minjeong hummed with a mischievous grin.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, staring at her inquisitively. “I can just do this instead,” she surged forward rather clumsily, lips meeting yours in an greedy kiss. You shied away from her gaze as she pulled back, cheeks dusted pink. “Are you blushing Y/n?” She exclaimed with a teasing smirk, leaning closer for further inspection. “It’s the alcohol,” you defended with a pout, but nothing could prevent the teasing that was to come. Your ‘best friend’ poked fun at you for a while longer before her lips eventually found yours again. While this was far from normal, it was something you could definitely get used to.

~~

Minjeong’s gaze flickered around the quaint cafe nervously, excitement shining in her eyes. She cupped her perspiring palms around the ice cold cup in order to stop herself from inevitably fiddling as she anxiously awaited your arrival. She hadn't seen you since that fateful night, but her mind never left the moment, trapped in an endless loop of the hazy memory. Her heart thrashed wildly against her ribs at the mere thought, chest tightening as bells chimed, signalling the entrance of a customer. Glancing up hopefully, Minjeong was disappointed to find a group of uniformed students giggling as they stumbled inside, a tired sigh escaping her parted lips. The immense longing she had for you was driving her insane.

A light tap on her shoulder startled the younger girl, a yelp flying past her lips as she whipped her head around in surprise. “Y/n!” She cheered, breathing out a sigh of relief. The moment she laid her eyes upon you, it felt as though everything fell into place, a smile quirking at her lips, heart coming to a slow. “I missed you,” you muttered, wrapping her up in a hug that lasted not nearly long enough. Only a week had passed, but the younger swore you looked far brighter, the smile never leaving your face. Perhaps taking a step back from training was leading you in the right direction. “How’ve you been?” Minjeong asked, pushing over the iced drink she’d been cradling, it was your favourite.

“Really good,” you breathed out, a sincere smile settling on her face at your words. “The first few days were hard,” you admitted, forehead creasing into a frown at the thought. “But then I got thinking, and that stupid movie we watched last week popped into my head.” You smiled, recalling the night that had Minjeong caught in an endless spiral of feelings for you. “Watching it made me happier, especially when I was with my favourite person.” Minjeong felt heat rising to her cheeks at your words, a hopeful grin adorning her lips. “It inspired me, I want to be able to have that kind of effect on people. And I thought, what better way to reach people than through a screen?” The younger raised an inquisitive brow at your statement.

“I think I want to pursue a career in acting,” you proudly announced, taking a nervous sip at your drink as you awaited her reaction. “I mean why waste all the PR training?” You joked. “Really? That’s amazing, I’m happy for you Y/n, I know you’ll make a great actress.” Minjeong smiled encouragingly, reaching across the table to grasp your hand. “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you, I couldn’t have done any of this without you!” You confessed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’ll be by your side for this new journey too,” Minjeong promised, a shiver running down her spine as you ran the pad of your thumb over her hand. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you grinned, eyes crinkling into crescents.

“Aside from this exciting new development, what else happened?” Minjeong questioned with a knowing smile, your head tilting in confusion. “I know you, Y/n. And I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy in a long time..” She trailed off, a curious smile tugging at her lips as she tightened her grip on your hand hopefully. “Oh right!” You exclaimed, carefully picking up the flowers that lay discarded on the table, Minjeong wasn’t sure how she hadn't noticed them earlier. You raised them to your nose, softly inhaling their intoxicating scent as you admired their beauty with a look of adoration. “Well, Jimin unnie visited me a couple days ago,” you began with a giddy smile, Minjeong’s heart dropping to her stomach as she finally recognised the look in your eyes.

“She was just checking in on me at first, but then she started visiting everyday..” You continued, Minjeong’s smile gradually fading as yours grew wider with every word. “She confessed to me Minjeong, it was adorable how nervous she was!” You gushed, fingers twiddling with the bouquet. The younger let her grip on your hand loosen, blinking in mild confusion as you kept chatting away animatedly. “I was sceptical at first, I didn’t want to rush into anything in my current state. But Minjeong she’s been so good to me,” you released a blissful sigh, recalling your moments with your former fellow trainee. Too enraptured by thoughts of Jimin, you barely even noticed as Minjeong’s hand began to slip from your grasp, grip growing weaker with each passing second.

“She never pushed me, or expected anything, she was just there for me.” You raved about the older with a love sick smile, one that made Minjeong feel dizzy. But this time it wasn’t out of her adoration for you, but from the pain of feeling her heart shatter into a million irreparable shards. “I really like her. She makes me feel safe, and comfortable, but also nervous all at the same time.” You confessed, grinning at your phone as it began to buzz, the younger girl didn’t need to ask who it was, the shine in your eyes told her all she needed to know. While she’d been obsessing over you all week, you’d been doing the exact same thing, but only for someone else.

Minjeong plastered a faux smile on her face as you stood to take the call, excusing yourself from the table. She stared blankly at the bouquet of white lilies, swallowing harshly as she heard you gleefully talking into your phone. Perhaps the kiss you had shared was a dream, Minjeong shut down the thought upon recalling the sweet taste of your lips that now left her feeling nothing but bitter. Her hands curled into fists as thoughts of that night flooded her mind, something that had once brought her nothing but happiness was now the fuel to her growing rage. A scoff escaped her lips as she took one last glance at you, rather than delight, she felt contempt at the sight of your blindingly bright smile. 

By the time you ended the call, Minjeong had vacated the table and your friendship.

~~

“I loved her so much, but I guess she never felt the same,” Minjeong whispered, bringing her hand up to swipe away the fresh tears. Jimin found herself at a loss for words, having listened intently to the whole story, her jaw hanging open in shock. “Minjeongie,” was all she managed to utter before pulling her into a comforting hug, still stunned speechless. This wasn’t just anyone they were talking about, it was you, her Y/n. Jimin didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even know what to think, all she knew was that Minjeong needed her right now. “I’m sorry for getting you wrapped up in this,” the younger sniffled, pulling back to wipe her tears once more. 

“Shhh, don’t apologise. Just let me be there for you,” Jimin proposed, frowning at the sight of Minjeong’s red and puffy eyes. The younger hesitantly nodded her head, allowing herself to properly open herself up for the first time since your friendship ended. The leader spent the next few days fussing over her member, she felt somewhat guilty for the events that had transpired all those years ago. It seemed that Minjeong was just as hurt as she was that day in the cafe, all her pent up emotions suddenly escaping as she finally had the chance to vent. She let herself open up to Jimin, leaning on the older girl for support, bringing the two far closer. But there wasn’t a moment that passed in which Jimin’s mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of you.

She wanted to talk to you, but god what would she say? She was supposed to be mad at you. How could you kiss Minjeong and then start dating her all in the same week? You hurt her best friend beyond repair, she couldn’t understand how you would do something so cruel, not when you were the kindest soul she knew. Nothing made sense anymore, and she found herself beginning to question your entire relationship, burdened with a seed of doubt that was now permanently planted in her mind. Jimin wasn’t sure whether she really knew you anymore, the Y/n that hurt Minjeong wasn’t the one she asked to be her girlfriend. Jimin began to wonder if she ever really knew you.

Sucking her lips between her teeth, the leader unconsciously began to gnaw at the skin. So deep in thought, Jimin almost failed to notice the familiar ringtone that bounced from the walls of her dark room, curtains shutting out any light. She glanced at the glowing screen with a frown, an exhausted sigh escaping her lips. It had been days since you’d seen each other, she hadn’t bothered to check any of your messages after hearing Minnjeong’s story. But you never stopped calling, you’d always attempt to check in on her at least once a day. A part of her wished you’d give up and save you both from the pain, but her heart longed for the opposite. She was so incredibly mad and confused, yet she still loved you, but she couldn’t bring herself to answer, not yet.

~~

You sat cooped up in your room, knees tucked into your chest and back pressed against the cold wall. Staring down at your phone, you read over the numerous unanswered messages you’d sent to Jimin in the past few weeks. You hated feeling burdensome, it was never your intention to bother the idol, you just wanted to at least know that she was doing okay. Although a news article could probably give you more information than your girlfriend would right now. You constantly worried over Jimin’s wellbeing, wanting to be a shoulder for her to lean on whenever the weight of being a leader became unbearable. But perhaps she’d finally gotten sick of all your nagging. Left without any explanations regarding her sudden avoidance, you were left to overthink all the possible scenarios that may have led to this.

You racked your brain day and night for anything you did to upset her, but to no avail. Eventually you stopped calling, things clearly weren’t changing, and you didn’t know how many more ignored texts you could handle. As much as you longed to stop by the dorms and make sure she was okay, you dreaded the idea just as much. If she were to be fine after weeks without you, you weren’t sure it was something you were ready to face. Having Jimin ignore you out of spite or upset was one thing, but if she really had moved on, it wasn’t a reality you could even bear to imagine. You held out hope for your love that had faced too many hardships to give up this easily, but it didn’t stop your insecurities from getting the best of you. It was part of the reason you couldn’t bring yourself to continuously call her any longer.

However, today was different. In the time that had passed, it had gradually crept closer to the date of your anniversary. Something you refused to ignore no matter how much Jimin avoided you. Today was too special to be dismissed, so with a hopeful sigh, you hesitantly reached for your discarded. Your fingers trembled as you tapped at the screen, hovering over Jimin’s contact with brewing anxiousness. The second your finger connected with the dimmed screen, instant regret washed over you like a bucket of ice cold water. You held your breath in anticipation, chest tightening as the dial tone taunted you the longer it resounded throughout the painfully silent room. “Please pick up,” you whispered into the silence, eyes squeezed tightly shut in suspense.

A near silent scoff escaped your lips as the dial tone came to an abrupt halt. She didn’t answer..

“Hello?” Jimin’s hesitant voice whispered into the microphone instantly lifting all the weight from atop your chest. “Y/n?” She called out, your eyes fluttering shut upon hearing your name effortlessly roll off the top of her tongue. It’d been far too long since you’d hear her soothing voice. “Hey,” you managed to croak out, voice concerningly raspy. “How have you been?” She asked, tone laced with an undisguisable guilt. Your features hardened as the idiotic question crackled through the speaker, forehead creasing into a frown. “How have I been?” You repeated incredulously, grip on the device tightening by tenfold. “Did you really just ask me that? It’s been weeks Jimin where the fuck have you been?” You questioned in disbelief, an indescribably rage overcoming you after being blatantly ignored.

“I’m sorry,” was all Jimin uttered, releasing a heavy sigh as she stared at the blank wall ahead. “Is that all you have to say?” You asked, an empty chuckle slipping past your lips, letting your head fall back against the wall with a dull thud. “You ignored me for weeks Jimin. Weeks.” You huffed, lips parting as a tired sigh escaped you. “I’m sorry,” she muttered again in a pathetic attempt to rid herself of an inevitable guilt. “I was worried about you,” you reluctantly confessed, anger dissipating as you remembered the pain of the past few weeks. “I don’t know what to say,” Jimin admitted, chest heavy with regrets. “Why’d you do it?” You asked weakly, heart aching with longing and heartbreak.

“Because-” Jimin paused, inhaling sharply. She clenched her jaw in preparation, hands curling into fists. “I can’t do this anymore.” The words struck your heart with an unexplainable pain, steady breaths halting as your lips began to tremble. You sensed it from a mile away, but it did nothing to numb the unpreventable hurt. You knew Jimin like the back of your hand, the second she answered the call you knew it was over. But you never wanted to believe it true, a reality you’d never be prepared for no matter what. “Okay,” you breathed out in acceptance, a silent tear rolling down your rosy cheeks. You refused to let her hear your pain, she’d already taken enough from you, this was all you had left.

“I know I have no right to ask..” Jimin trailed off, sounding just as broken as you felt. You hated it, she was the instigator, so why was she so upset? “Just say it Jimin,” you pleaded, wanting nothing more than to hang up and let the sobs that were threatening to bubble from your throat break free. “C-Can we just pretend everythings normal? One last time,” she begged, it was cruel of her to ask, and yet you wanted nothing but the same thing. To enjoy one last moment of your love even if it was entirely a lie. So with a clenched jaw, you found yourself cheerily uttering the words, “Hey Jimin,” pretending as though you’d just picked up the phone. “Hi Jagi!” She exclaimed with a sniffle, you couldn’t help but scoff at her enthusiasm. 

“Never been better,” you huffed, scowling as your voice wavered. “I heard you got cast in another drama!” Jimin cheered in excitement, doing her best to act as though everything were normal. ‘One last time’, she promised herself, it wasn’t one she was certain she could keep. “I’m proud of you,” she praised with a sincere smile despite the tears that endlessly cascaded down her dampened cheeks. “Thanks,” you sniffled, no longer bothering to disguise your heartbreak. A painfully long pause of silence raised the tension between you once more, your lips sucked between your teeth. “It’s really over, isn’t it?” You questioned into the silence, blinking back fresh tears as reality began to sink in. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Jimin cried into the phone, repeatedly uttering the same phrase until she was reduced to broken sobs.

“Happy anniversary Jimin,” you mumbled in defeat, letting your phone slip through your fingers as you hung up without another word. 

~~

You stared blankly at the ceiling, eyes dull as you head sunk further into the pillow that was still damp with fresh tears after days on end of sobbing into the same fabric. The apartment was suffocating you with endless memories of Jimin, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. Mind wandering to the night Aespa’s leader had first stayed over, the heavy rain pelting against your window much like it had that day. You’d refused to let her leave in such harsh weather conditions in fear of losing her to the storm, and the older girl had always been terrible at saying no to you. So she stayed. At first it was awkward as you lay in bed side by side, both longing to hold eachother but forcing yourself to the edges of the bed. But the moment her hand gently brushed against yours everything fell into place.

You groaned at the memory, feeling fresh tears spring to your eyes. You didn’t want to cry anymore, you were tired. Rising to sit with a sigh of exhaustion, you reluctantly slipped out of the pile of blankets that had kept you sheltered from the world for over a week. That’s how long it’d been since Jimin had broken your heart, and hell it had been. You couldn’t remember eating, in all honestly you weren’t even sure you’d left the bed. Even raising a single finger felt impossible in those past weeks, your throat dry with an aching desire for water. Your breaths were shallow as you shuffled through your apartment, moving like a zombie as you passed through the kitchen. 

With shaky hands you reached for your keys that lay discarded on the kitchen counter where you’d left them. You fumbled slightly before grasping them firmly, hands still trembling as you stumbled out the door, pulling your hoodie over your head. Your gaze was set on the floor as you traipsed through the halls with half lidded eyes. Shoes scuffing against the concrete as you reached the garage, clumsily climbing into your car as you shivered in the cold. Your body moved on autopilot as the car roared to life, accelerating out of the garage with a tired sigh as you watched the rain pour down on your windscreen. With a careless sigh you began to drive down the quiet streets, enjoying a break from the suffocation your apartment filled you with.

There was no destination to your journey as sped up upon approaching the expressway, squinting in the darkness as the rain hammered down against your car. Your grip on the wheel tightened significantly, jaw clenched as thoughts of what had transpired over the past few weeks, years even, flooded your mind. In all honesty, after losing your chance to debut you’d begun to close yourself off from the world. While you maintained contact with the members of Aespa and gained a few acquaintances in the acting world, you never risked entering a close friendship after losing Minjeong so suddenly. You’d never moved on from the day she’d abruptly terminated your friendship without reason, the situation with Jimin was far too similar to that of the past.

You couldn’t help but feel as though you’d fallen short in every category of life. Unworthy of debut, incapable of maintaining a friendship, and undeserving of a happy ending with the one you thought was the love of your life. Nothing had ever gone right for you, and now there was no one to catch you as you clumsily stumbled down a dark path. You had come to understand true loneliness in that moment, wondering if any of it was worth the effort anymore. Your eyes blurred with tears, fingers twitching as you sunk deeper into a pool of doubt. Lips quivering as your foot unconsciously pressed harder against the accelerator while you attempted to hold back the sobs that threatened to bubble from your throat.

A part of your heart would always belong to Yoo Jimin, no matter how deep she twisted the knife into it, you would always love her. That’s what hurt the most, after all the heartache, you still longed to have her by your side. Oh how you missed the way she would gently comb her soft hand through your locks, whispering sweet nothings in your ear each time you broke down in her arms. You could almost feel the ghost of her lips pressing against your tear stained cheeks in that moment, a sob ripping from your lips. She wasn’t there, she was never gonna be there again, Jimin was no longer a constant in your life. In that mere moment you lost all hope for happiness, hand catching on the wheel as you lifted it to wipe your tears, jerking the car left.

Your eyes widened as you skidded towards the barrier, slamming your foot on the brakes. But it was no use in the weather, flying toward death at top speeds. What scared you the most was how willing you were to accept your fate in that split second. Nothing felt worth it anymore, perhaps this would be best for everyone. Ridding the world of your presence would hardly be doing any damage. You already knew that everyone seemed happier without you, so maybe you were doing them a favour. Life was a game you no longer wanted to play, not if spending your days drowning sorrow was living. The last thing you remembered was the feeling of emptiness as your car slammed into the barrier, vision going black as darkness encompassed you. 

“I give up,” were the last words you uttered before falling unconscious.

~~

Jimin leaned over the kitchen counter with her head perched atop her hands, staring ahead at the blank space on the wall. It was the first morning she’d bothered to leave the confines of her room for anything other than practice ever since the day she’d ripped your heart to shreds. She couldn’t help but feel empty without you, as though nothing she did was worth it anymore, not if she didn’t have you by her side. Regret lingered over her head, taunting her with each passing day that she was reminded you were no longer hers to call in times of doubt. Truth be told she had never intended to hurt you, but she didn’t know what to do. Worst of all, she still loved you with all of her heart.

Confliction overwhelmed her from the moment Minjeong had spilled all her secrets. On one hand, she wanted to talk it through with you, ask questions and resolve the matter. But she knew she couldn’t do that without hurting Minjeong, she never wanted to pick between the two of you, it was one of the hardest decisions she’d made in her life. In the end, she sacrificed your relationship for the sake of her group's survival. Jimin wasn’t just your girlfriend, she was a leader now too, so she went against her heart. The leader ran an irritated hand through her hair, eyes briefly fluttering shut as she sighed in frustration. She regretted everything.  

Minjeong awkwardly hovered behind the older girl who looked to be in great distress. “Are you okay, Jimin unnie?” The short haired girl spoke up, features guilt stricken as the older jumped in surprise, whipping her head around. “Uh yeah, just a little distracted,” the leader stuttered out. “Did you need something?” Jimin asked, anxiously twiddling with the fabric of her sleeves. She’d been on edge ever since the breakup, as if she were suffering from withdrawal symptoms. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. I never meant for you to get hurt, that’s why I didn’t tell you in the first place.” Minjeong muttered sympathetically. “It’s okay Minjeongie, it’s not your fault, you did nothing wrong.” Jimin assured, lips pursed thoughtfully.

“But?” Minjeong questioned, sensing that there was more to follow. “I don’t doubt what you told me, please understand that. I just don’t get how Y/n could kiss you and then act as though nothing happened. It doesn’t make any sense.” Jimin mumbled, head beginning to ache with how much she’d thought this over in the past weeks. “I don’t get it either,” Minjeong uttered truthfully, scratching the back of her neck contemplatively. “The Y/n I knew couldn’t even hurt a fly, let alone break your heart,” the leader muttered, brows furrowed in confusion. “I guess it was more memorable to me than it was to her,” the younger uttered softly. “Or perhaps she never really liked me, maybe she just felt bad when I kissed her..” Minjeong trailed off, forehead creased in a deep frown.

“I don’t know-” Jimin began to speak, but the short haired girl cut her off quickly. “I remember every single detail of that night. It’s been years, but each moment is still engraved into my mind,” Minjeong whispered with a longing that made Jimin’s heart twinge in her chest. She was still so torn, her heart beats for you but it aches for the pain her best friend had endured. “Everything was so perfect…I really thought we had a chance.” Minjeong continued, glancing up to face her leader with teary eyes. For the first time since you had unknowingly broken her heart, she felt no anger towards you, instead she was overcome by a feeling of loss. She was no longer holding on to something that wasn’t there. She was finally beginning to let go. 

“It was actually really nice,” Minjeong let out a watery chuckle, choosing to remember the night of your kiss as something to reminisce, rather than loathe. “We we’re just being stupid, especially after having a few drinks I managed to sneak past the company.” Minjeong smiled bitterly, jumping in surprise as Jimin’s hands shot out to grasp her shoulders, shaking her back and forwards. “You two were drinking?!” The leader exclaimed, the younger shrinking beneath her harsh gaze in fear of being scolded. Minjeong’s gaze was stuck to the floor as she began to hesitantly, yelping in surprise as Jimin began to shout incoherently. “Unnie, I don’t know what you're saying,” the younger uttered helplessly as she glanced up in confusion.

“Y/n’s a lightweight! She never remembers anything after drinking!!” Jimin exclaimed, her yells catching the attention of Aeri and Yizhuo who were watching TV in the living room. “Are you saying she doesn’t even remember kissing me..?” Minjeong asked hesitantly, almost fearing the answer that would come. Had she wasted years on a one-sided hatred that had ruined the best friendship she’d ever had? Jimin nodded eagerly at the question, too caught up in the sudden revelation to break it to her lightly. “I have to see, Y/n. This was all a mistake,” Jimin rushed out in distress. She knew she should stay and comfort the younger girl, but god she couldn’t wait. This was the love of her life, she refused to waste another precious second that could be used to make it up to you.

She ran through the living room, dashing for the front door without a second thought. “Jimin unnie!” Yizhuo’s abrupt shout that had an undeniable shake to it left the leader halting in her step. “Y-You should see this,” was all their youngest member managed to stutter out, her panicked tone raising the hairs on the back of Jimin’s neck as she cautiously wandered back into the living room. “What is it, Yizhuo? Now really isn’t a good time,” the oldest muttered, wincing at the uncharacteristically harsh tone of her voice, but all she could think about was getting to you. Jimin furrowed her brows in confusion at the sympathetic look that Aeri greeted her with as she arrived in the lounge. Yizhuo’s lips trembled as she stared at her leader, Minjeong’s eyes wide in horror, her gaze fixed on the television screen.

It was then that she realised something was awfully wrong. 

Jimin felt her chest tightened as she finally registered the crisp words that flowed from the television’s speakers. “Actress Bae Y/n was involved in a serious car accident last night. We’re yet to receive an update on her condition, however we have been informed that she was admitted to the hospital and rushed straight to surgery.” The news anchor announced stoically, Jimin’s heart dropping, it felt as though the world was crumbling beneath her feet. “No,” she uttered weakly in disbelief, eyes pooling with tears. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be, not now, not when there was still so much for the two of you to experience together. She shook her head rapidly in denial, refusing to believe that any of it was true.

But with blurred vision, she could just make out the image that flashed across the television screen. It was your car, smashed against the barrier with bright cones and tape surrounding the area. Jimin was rooted in place, body painfully tense as she stared at the screen. She still couldn’t believe it. Everything else faded into the background as she stared at your wrecked car, nails digging into her palms as her hands curled into tight fists. “Jimin,” Aeri’s voice broke through the silence as she placed a gentle hand on the leader's shoulder. Jimin was finally snapped back to reality, body moving with a mind of its own as she rushed for the door. She had to see you. 

Everything went by in a blur as she hurried to the hospital, barely managing to keep her tears in. She refused to let them fall, not until she knew what happened. Jimin couldn’t even remember how she got to the hospital, all she knew was that she needed to see you. Not even bothering to hide herself from the public as she rushed towards the receptionists desk. The words that flowed from her mouth sounded distorted in her ears as she huffed, out of breath from running through the hospital. But she couldn’t give up, not yet, not when she hadn’t seen you. She felt as though her throat was closing up as the doctor began to lead her through the maze-like halls. 

She wanted to listen, to know if you were okay, but she couldn’t catch a word. All she could hear was her heart pounding in her ears as she was guided closer to you. Her heart stopped as she was ushered into a room, gaze finding your limp body that lay atop the hospital bed within seconds. She barely managed to make sense of the consistent beep of the heart monitor before a pained cry of relief escaped her lips. You were alive, you were okay, you were going to wake up. Jimin could finally breathe again, sobs immediately bubbling up from her throat as she hunched over her knees. Her gaze stuck to your figure, fearful that you may disappear from this world at any moment. Tears freely rolled down her cheeks as she took in your state, how much pain you must've been in.

You were alive, and that was all that mattered.

~~

You awoke to the faint, consistent beep of a heart monitor, a groan escaping your lips as you struggled to open your eyes. It felt as though they were glued shut and a heavy weight was resting atop your chest as every part of your body throbbed in pain. You swallowed harshly, throat disturbingly dry as you ran your tongue over your parted lips, eyes finally fluttering open. Gaze flickering around the room as you blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of things. The blindingly bright white lights left black spots in your vision as you glanced at the side of the room. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you were faced with Jimin’s wide eyes as she stared back at you in alarm.

“Jimin?” You croaked out, voice barely below a whisper. “Are you okay?” She surged forwards, jumping up from her seat as she darted to your side. She stared down at you expectantly, but you only narrowed your eyes slightly, hands balled into shaky fists as your memories all rushed back to you. “You remember me right?” Jimin rushed out, bombarding you with endless questions you had no energy for. “It’d be easier if I didn't,” you rasped, scowl plastered across your face. A breath of relief escaped her lips, she didn’t care if you hated her, you were alive and you remembered her. “What are you doing here Karina?” Your monotonous voice broke her from the momentary spark of joy, forehead creasing in a frown at how disappointed you seemed to see her. 

“I came because I care,” she muttered, a determined look reflecting in her eyes. “Do us both a favour and stop,” you huffed, wincing as you crossed your arms over your chest, feeling a sharp pain shoot through your shoulder. “Don’t move so much!” Jimin commanded softly, frown permanently painted across her features. “Please just go,” you pleaded, glancing anywhere but her as your eyes filled with tears. It was all too much, everything hurt and seeing her only made things worse. “I can’t leave,” she grunted, jaw clenched as she shook her head in refusal. “I won’t leave you, not like this.” She stated firmly, gaze hardened. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” you uttered bitterly, Jimin’s expression morphing into one full of guilt.

“Please don’t say that,” she begged, chocolate brown orbs swirling with regret. “What did you expect Jimin? For me to greet you with open arms?” You grit out, her frown deepening further at your words. “I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking goddamnit. I just needed to see you,” she huffed, breaths shaky as she recalled the dread that filled her when she found out you’d been in an accident. “You shouldn’t have come,” you mumbled, voice far harsher than either of you had anticipated “How could I not?!” Jimin exclaimed incredulously, running a frustrated hand through her dark locks. “You almost got yourself killed, Y/n!” She raised her voice, tears pooling in her eyes. “I was so worried-” her voice cracked, tears freely rolling down her cheeks.

“I- Fuck, I thought you were gone,” Jimin began to break down before you. “And I regret everything Y/n, how I messed everything up. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I never got the chance to tell you-” “Stop, please don’t do this. I can’t do it again,” you cut her off, finally facing the girl that had broken your heart over a mere phone call. “I’m tired Jimin, I’m so fucking tired of all of this,” you cried in frustration, tear droplets falling onto the light hospital blanket. You dropped your head into your hands, a broken sob escaping your lips, uncaring of the sharp pain it brought you. “I wish I had died,” the words that passed your lips left Jimin standing in stunned silence, eyes wide and filled with tears of her own. 

Her body moved with a mind of its own as she reached out to cautiously pull your hands from your face. Working purely on instinct as she grasped your hand with a gentle firmness. “Please tell me you don’t mean that,” she whispered, eyes locked with yours as she perched herself on the edge of this hospital bed. “I don’t know anymore, I just want this to all be over,” you murmured, her grip tightening. Jimin sniffled at your words, struggling to maintain composure. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.” She muttered with a heavy sigh, your eyes widening in confusion at her statement. While she had hurt you more than no other, you had never once blamed her. You couldn’t bring yourself to inflict such a heavy burden upon her.

“I should have been there for you. I shouldn’t have ended things so recklessly. I wish I never ignored you, I’m so sorry for everything Y/n.” Jimin continued to blame herself, you didn’t know what you wanted, but this wasn’t it. You hated how no matter how much she put you through you could never hate her, how it still hurt to hear her carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. A natural leader indeed. She began to swipe away your tears with the pad of her thumb, you were too dumb struck to move, unconsciously leaning into her touch. You may have been at arms length with the leader, but your body was still accustomed to her gentle touch.

“I may be the reason behind your tears, but I promise to never let them fall again. I’ll always be here to catch them, I’m not making the mistake of leaving you ever again Y/n.” Jimin declared with determination, your lips parting in surprise but no words escaping. The two of you stared at each other for an agonisingly long minute before a doctor abruptly entered the room, the older girl rising from her place beside you to make way for him. He began a routine check up on you while Jimin watched from the side, eyes never leaving you, her chocolate brown orbs alight with an unwavering confidence. Your eyes narrowed in uncertainty, but you couldn’t deny that something about his felt different, she felt different.

~~

You sat in awkward silence, staring up at the hospital room’s ceiling. Anxiously twiddling with your fingers as you gaze moved to the girl who sat across from you. Minjeong was no better, eyes glued to the marble floor, repeatedly tapping her foot against it. Jimin had caught you both up to speed on everything, deciding that it was best to use communication rather than avoidance this time. Your accident had made the leader realise that there was no use having regrets or ignoring your problems. You’d been hesitant to agree with anything she had to say after the past, but she had a way of charming her way into your heart. Besides, you could tell she was trying to better herself for the both of you. The way she walked on eggshells around you was becoming painful, especially since you’d already begun to forgive her.

Clearing your throat to break the painfully tense silence, you were finally able to meet Minjeong’s wide eyes as she glanced at you with uncertainty. The two of you blinked, staring back at each other, neither of you able to find the right words to say. “I’m sorry-” You muttered in unison, stiffly glancing around the room as silence engulfed you once more. Huffing at the tension that lingered between the two of you, you decided to just blurt out the first thing that came to mind. “Can we just start over?” You asked, regret instantly washing over your features as Minjeong stared back at you, eyes wide in panic.

“I mean, if you want to. I get if you don’t, after ya know…everything that happened,” you rambled, mildly disappointed by her blank stare, but you’d expected no less. Years of hatred wouldn’t disappear overnight, especially after all the pain you’d inflicted upon her. “I’d really like that,” Minjeong uttered softly after a long pause of silence, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “Really?” You questioned, eyes shining hopefully. She hummed lightly in response, a grin spreading across your face at the reassurance. “You’re still the same,” Minjeong observed, chocolate brown orbs swirling with fondness as she watched your eyes light up. “And you’ve completely changed,” you smiled, a sense of pride overcoming you upon seeing the younger girl maturing.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were chatting like old times, doing your best to put the past behind you. While it was still tense, you had no doubts that any lingering uncertainty would dissipate in no time. Minjeong smiled at the sound of your melodious laughter, learning to appreciate it in a different way than she had once before. She was content with a friendship that would last a lifetime as opposed to a broken relationship that ended with broken hearts. She no longer yearned for you to fill the hole in her heart, but rather focussed on enjoying the spark your presence brought to your life. “I really missed this,” you confessed with a bitter smile, thinking back on all the lost time. “Me too,” Minjeong muttered sincerely.

You had the rest of your lives to make up for everything you’d missed.

“You guys look like you’re getting along!” Jimin cheered with a smile as she entered the hospital room. She silently padded towards your bed as you continued chatting with Minjeong about everything you could think of. The older girl quietly fussed over you, gently laying down the flowers she’d brought on your bedside table. A light grin spread across your face at the sight of the familiar white lilies. They’d become a symbol of your love throughout your relationship. You felt your walls beginning to crumble once more for the loving leader, her attentive nature willing its way back into your heart. Day by day, she began to carefully mend the pieces of your broken back together again. 

Everything was falling back into place.

~~

One year later..

A content sigh slipped past your parted lips as you snuggled further into Jimin’s arms, face nuzzled against her neck. The leader cooed in adoration as a sleepy yawn escaped you, spent from a day of perfectly planned activities. “Happy anniversary baby,” Jimin murmured in your ear, pressing a lingering kiss to the side of your head. A grin broke out on your face as you lifted your head to glance up at her. She gazed at you with chocolate brown orbs full of love that made you giddy inside. Butterflies swarmed to life in your stomach, just as they had the first time confessed to you. No matter how long you stayed together, her effect on you never changed.

“I have something for you,” she suddenly remembered, eyes practically shining with excitement. “Oh?” You questioned, unable to fight off the eagerness that grew within you at the sight of her enthusiasm. “Close your eyes,” she instructed, to which you followed without hesitation, trusting her with your whole heart. You felt her shuffle slightly beneath you, but her arm never left your waist. After a minute of silence passed, the urge to open your eyes became far harder to resist. But then you felt her gently grip your hand, cautiously slipping a metal band onto your ring finger. Your eyes snapped open in surprise, gaze meeting Jimin’s as you stared at her in shock. “Jimin..” you uttered breathlessly, glancing down to the silver band that now rested on your finger. Small diamonds adorning the top and a barely visible engravement along the thin band.

“I wanted to show you how much I love you,” she smiled, cupping your cheeks as she forced you to meet her gaze that burned with an undeniable love. “I know we can’t get married anytime soon because of our careers, but think of this as a promise..” Jimin whispered, gently caressing your cheek with the pad of her thumb. “I’m gonna marry you one day, Y/n.” She declared with a determined grin, unable to hide the tears that pooled in her eyes. “You really mean it?” You questioned, smiling so hard it hurt, but that was the last thing on your mind right now. “I promise to love you forever,” Jimin uttered, sealing her promise with a lingering kiss on your lips. “I love you so much Yoo Jimin, I’ll wait forever for you.” A watery chuckled escaped your lips as you pecked hers once more, uncaring of the salty taste. 

Jimin lifted your hand to her lips, placing one final kiss to the ring full of promises she’d placed on your finger.

[whoreburslut]

Kinktober: Day 4

•thigh riding & sex pollen

gender neutral reader

sorry it’s a day late i was very eepy

i might be a day behind for a few days but i’ll catch back up

at the store you are walking in the flower section, looking for a nice decoration for your living room. you are just browsing as you feel yourself being drawn in by this one plant, a nice singular flower stood straight up and perfectly in bloom. this would compliment your living room perfectly you thought.

driving home with the flower safely fastened in with the seatbelt so it doesn’t topple over, it seems like the whole car is is filled with it’s sweet aroma. arriving home you start to feel hazy as you get out of the car and take the plant up to you and wils apartment.

setting it on the counter in the kitchen, you feel flushed as you use the counter to steady yourself. you start to feel a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach, wondering why this strong wave of lust has hit you as there had been nothing that could have provoked it.

wilbur enters the kitchen after not hearing you move after coming in, he’s immediately hit with the strong stench of the flower. you could smell wil before you could hear him, the musky sent of his cologne driving your pheromones wild. the aching sensation between your legs, only growing when he speaks.

“are you ok?” the concerned voice of your friend asks, the plant’s aphrodisiac nature is now in full force for you. now wanting to throw yourself at your long time best friend, he looks like walking sex just stood there. it takes all of your strength to push past him and go to the living room.

wilbur walks over to the flower and smells it, overpowering sent hurts his nose. he quickly hurries to the living room to check on you again, your standing in the middle of the room coat discarded and fanning yourself with your hands quickly. wil comes over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder, and that simple touch makes you moan, you realise this and you snap you spin around and push him down on to the couch.

“what the fuck?” he gasps unaware of your state, “please wil i need you so bad” you say in a whiny voice moving closer too him, you lean in and start moving your lips closer to connect them with his. he puts a hand on your chest slowly loving you away, “we really shouldn’t do this” he says reluctantly as his eyes start to slowly darken.

you move your arms sensually up your sides to take your top off and discard it on the floor, your nipples harden at the cool air contrasting with your hot body. you kick of your shoes and go over and nestle in his lap, his hand come up to rest on your hips as an automatic response, this sends your hips jerking forward as the slightest bit of contact has you feeling euphoric.

“fuck it” wilbur practically moans as you realise that he is fully hard underneath you, he moves his legs wider so you have to move one of yours in between his two to stay comfortable. you realise that you are now hovering above one of his thighs, he pulls you down on to it and starts guiding your hips to grind on his thigh.

thanking your self for wearing jeans today as they are giving you the friction you so desperately desire, wil takes his hands off your hips and taps you twice on the thigh signifying you to stop. “stand up for me babe” he whispers you neerly came at the intimate pet name, knowing you longed for nothing more than to be more than friends.

he puts his hands to your jeans to unzip them, and toughing them down your legs roughly. his hands merely brush your bare thighs and you moan again, ripping your underwear down your legs as well they both get tossed to the side in quick succession. he grips your hips harshly being pulled back, down on to the same thigh he grunts in your year “if my bitch is so needy, they can get off on my thigh all on their own”.

wilbur moves his hands to rest behind his head, no longer touching your body. you whimper loudly at the loss of contact but you waste no time grinding on his thigh to get yourself off, the roughness of his jeans doing wonders for your lust. your knee accidentally brushes against wilburs growing erection, he moans in surprise his hands fly to your hips again helping you gain more friction, as he can feel your movements becoming sloppy with fatigue.

he brings one of his hands down in between you both to help you get off, you are letting all of your moans out not caring how loud you are being as you two live alone. wilbur kisses the pulse of your neck and that sends you over the edge, cuming on his jeans making his whole thigh soaked with your juices. you look down between you both to see the crotch of his pants also damp to where he came in his pants at the sight of his best friend using him.

you slump in to his chest shaking, the flower having made you ten times more sensitive due to how horny you were. you feel yourself being lifted bridal style, you are transported in to a room that is not your own, but as you are placed on the bed it smells like him. you curl in to a ball burying your face deep to inhale him, you feel the bed dip behind you then an arm drape over you. you shuffle back a bit and your back is touching his chest and you feel at home, in his bed spooning.

he’s stroking you hair as your on the edge of sleep and you hear him say “i really hope this doesn’t mean we’re just friends anymore” as he believes your already asleep, he kisses the back of your head and pulls you in tighter.

this happens a few more times to the both of you, before you and wilbur realise it is the flower that is causing the issue.

and maybe you don’t even get rid of it…

[leoascendente]

PAC / Intuitive messages II ✨

Hi my loves! Welcome to this new pac, again with intuitive messages for you to lift up your energies and see what Universe has in store for you💕

I know this is a short reading but I have been in exams season and had a little time to invest on the blog. I have a lot of post almost finished, meanwhile I hope you like this pac. I really missed you all.

As always take a deep breath before choosing, take what resonates and llave the rest.

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners.

Pile 1:

🌷 You are planting seeds of success, be patient with them while they grow and blossom, meanwhile have some fun you deserve it

🌷 You'll recieve the needed resources for you to feel more independent and free

🌷 A boost of self confidence and willpower

🌷 You'll might get a new pet, I see mostly a cat or a rabbit

🌷 Moon phases will have an effect on you through these months, take the time you need to rest

🌷 Someone that loves you deeply has a nice surprise for you, enjoy it

🌷 Spring will bring you good news, if you are waiting to show the world your projects keep them private until the spring

🌷 Worship yourself everytime you look in the mirror, you are a living goddess and a master manifestor of your reality

Pile 2:

🍀 Don't rush yourself or try to force things, everything is working for you in Divine timing

🍀 Invest in an artistic or creative hobby, it will help you to calm your thoughts and express yourself in healthy and respectful way for your own feelings

🍀 Give yourself the proper time to rest, you will probably get some divine messages through your dreams

🍀 Spend time in nature, you need to ground yourself a little bit more. Grounding guided meditations will be great for you

🍀 Also work in balancing your lowest chakras, it wil feel very warm and comforting

🍀 Say no to anything you don't want to do, sometimes saying a big NO is the healthiest choice for us

🍀 White birds like doves or swans will be a major signal for you to remind you that you are on the right path

🍀 Act on inspired actions not in forced productivity

Pile 3:

⭐️ Your inner child is calling for affection, do things that would make happy your inner child

⭐️ Be more compassionate with yourself, you are doing things the best you can

⭐️ Give yourself more credit for all the progress you've made, you have evolved a lot from a year ago, value that effort you made

⭐️ Listen your intuition more often, she will help you understand better why certain things are happening right now

⭐️ Try to wear pink or green items, also work on your heart chakra. I recommend you to carry a rose quartz, aventurine or malachite

⭐️ Worship your innner goddess and tune with your divine femenine

⭐️ I see a piece of jewelry that might have importance for you, mostly a necklace with an special meaning. Wear it or keep it near you, it will be your lucky charm

⭐️ Butterflies will appear to bring you good news, horses or even unicorns images will be signals too

[lovesickgolbach]

Words I Didn't Say 2 || LN4

Description: It may very well never be the same, but at least it will all be alright.

Pairings: Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: Yelling, fighting, swearing, mentions of abuse.

Part 1

It had been a mere 3 hours since you read that letter, that stupid fucking letter. All you wanted to do was scream or hit something. Your heart was hurting, but the anger in your chest was burning, fully overshadowing that feeling. A soft knock on your door caught your attention and in walked the last person you wanted to see.

"Ga weg, nu!" Get out, right now you spoke to Max, calmly, suppressing your anger.

"Ik wil mijn excuses aanbie-"I want to apologize ab- you cut him off buy shaking your head and raising your hand to his face. "Ik wil het niet horen. Ga. Weg." I don't need to hear it. Get. Out. the anger building more and more in your body, your limbs going numb from how hard you were trying to suppress it.

Yes, Max and your father was known for their aggressive nature, but so were you, you were just able to control it better. So fights in the Verstappen household were always full blown and sometimes violent. (But not from you and Max, you always just yelled at one another)

"I'm not leaving Y/n! We gaan dit godverdomme eerst uitpraten!!" We're fucking talking this out first!! Max half-yelled. "And I don't want to talk to you Max!!! Please just leave me alone! I'm upset! I'm hurt! Je maakt het alleen maar erger! Je had geen reden om net tegen me te schreeuwen!!" All you're doing is making it worse! You had no reason to yell at me like you did earlier!! the tears were fully streaming down your face, silently but there were many of them. They weren't sad tears, they were tears of frustration, of hurt.

Max looked at you and sighed. "What was the letter about?"

"None of your business" you spoke wiping your cheeks and placing the letter back into the envelope carefully.

"Did you lie about Lando?" Max broke the silence, looking at you with a cold expression. Your heart sank hearing his words. "W-what?" you turned around to look hat him, sort of understanding but not fully knowing what he meant by his words.

"Did you lie about what Lando came to do here? You let him in and blamed it on Penelope!" he accused. You were speechless. "Oh, dus je ontkent het niet? Dus het is de waarheid?!" Oh so you aren't denying it? So its the truth?! he kept accusing you, his voice getting louder and louder.

You stood frozen, unsure of what to say. Your eyes blurred with tears again, he kept yelling accusations your way but they all blended into one, your mind was foggy, his voice was muffled and you were overwhelmed and confused.

"ANSWER ME Y/N!!!" Max finally yelled, at full force. He raised his hands in frustration which made you flinch, letting out a small surprised squeak at his sudden outburst. Your ears were ringing, instantly feeling sick to your stomach at his tone of voice and the motion his hands made.

Run. Leave. Get out, get out, get out.

Your Fight or flight response chose flight. You grabbed the letter and the nearest piece of clothing, running out of the door as quickly as your legs could carry you. You ran. That's all you could do, was run.

Before you knew it, you were violently banging on an all too familiar door.

Lando had opened it quickly, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at the sight of you. You threw yourself into his arms, sobbing and shaking violently.

He was confused and concerned, but he wrapped his arms around you anyway. He never said anything, unsure of what to say. All you could do was cry, you gripped onto the material of his shirt, seeking protection. Instantly, Lando knew what was going on, as soon as you grabbed his shirt in that way.

It wasn't a secret that Jos, your father was the "tough love" kind of man. He would put Max through hours of grueling work on the go kart track, in the middle of freezing cold winters. All you could ever do was watch, he never let you near Max, especially if he was on track, but this particular day, your father had seemingly woken up on the wrong side of the bed, so he had taken out his frustrations out on little Max, you and him had only been about 6 or 7 at the time.

It had snowed the previous night, so it was cold and the track was slippery. Max had gotten a few laps in and eventually Jos had let him go warm up his hands in the van, after copious amounts of begging. Max had come in and sat down, you immediately took his hands into yours and pulled them closer to your chest, as you had always done for him. He snuggled into your side. "It's so cold out there.. daddy is in a really bad mood today.." he closed his eyes, yawning.

"I'll ask him if we can go home then, I don't want you to be cold" you said, looking at your brother who's cheeks were red from the cold. He nodded. "I'll wait here then" he had said as you were leaving.

"Papa?" you had looked up at him. "What Y/n!?" he growled, looking down at you with angry eyes.

"I want to go home..." you looked down, sadness laced in your voice. You weren't expecting him to sound so harsh.

"Fucking stupid little girl!!! I didn't even want you here in the first place! You're a distraction to your brother!!! You can't be making this about yourself!! Get back in the fucking van!!!" your father had been growling at you. You were scared, but he was in fact your father so you never thought he would get violent, especially as an innocent 6 year old.

"B-but papa-" you had croaked out, but you were cut off from a stinging sensation on your face. Your own father had slapped you, a little innocent girl, hard. That's all you remember from that day. But it will forever haunt you.

Lando walked you inside slowly. He guided you to the couch and held you close, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

You had eventually calmed down, still shaking and you had those 'post-sob' hiccups, but you were definitely way calmer than what you were when you first turned up. Lando tucked your hair behind your ear softly. "What triggered the attack, Y/n?" his voice was calm, almost a whisper.

"Muh-Max.." you had managed to say. The attack may have been over but you were still petrified. Max looked a lot like your father in that moment. His red face, the way the color of his eyes changed, the way his voice became a growl when he was angry.

You shuddered remembering what Max had looked like. "Shh I've got you" Lando cooed, he had learned how to help you with these attacks over the course of your relationship. It was something he had perfected, was being able to calm you down.

You sighed. "I-I'm sorry, Lando.. I-I didn't know where else to go a-and I-"

"It's fine Y/n, I'm glad you came here. I know you're safe" he smiled sweetly.

And for the first time in a long time, things had felt normal again. Like they were meant to be this way. You knew your relationship with Lando would probably never be the same considering what had happened betwen you two, but that doesn't mean you can't continue as friends.

You were safe with him.

He was your home, your real home.

a/n: there you go ya filthy animals, as promised, part 2 with a (kinda) happy ending :)

edit: it's literally 7 months after i wrote part 1, this has been in my drafts since like november 💀 sorry about that

Part 3

[wil-dearest]

cathers-world asked: NSFW stalker!wilbur?

yeah why not, i always love a good stalker, me.

trigger warnings: 18+ for sure. stalking, duh, but still, be careful. gender-neutral reader. non-con, because you're asleep, so again, be careful while reading. leaning into simpbur. sorry. also mentions of suicide ideation, so there's that.

wil-dearest presents:

The Angels Made You For Me

If he'd been counting the days since he's started following you home, he would say it'd be a problem. But since his nasty habit began, he could confidently say it's been going on too long, perhaps, without much to show for it. He knows everything about you, about your schedule, about your habits, your friends- fucking. Everything.

He would consider trying to be more subtle about it but several times you've seen him, made direct eye contact with him and smiled, and yet nothing. He hasn't been arrested, hadn't been tackled by a concerned friend. Nothing has happened. And despite his lucky track, he still wanted more, wanted more from you.

He saw you first in the spring, when the flowers were blooming and he'd been in the park like you, except it was supposed to be his last day. His last day to live because, quite simply, nothing was really that fucking worth it anymore. Not the media, the music, definitely not the people, nature wasn't his last chance to convince him everything would be peaches and rainbows, it was his last meal. (Not physically, he'd ate two days ago and he could almost feel his ribs.) This was his last peaceful moment. He hadn't been entirely sure how he was going to go out, by gun or by jumping or by a vehicle- the possibilities were endless and with some sort of end in sight, it was easier to breathe in the park air and look around.

There you'd been, sitting with on a picnic blanket with a dog, bathing underneath the careful sun and soaking the day in. He had a brief moment of euphoria when you opened your squinting eyes completely and smiled, waving hello at him. Your smile froze him in his spot, where he'd been walking down the path and you tilted your head as he continued to stare. He started walking again, head forced to look straight as he tried to will away the blush dusting his cheeks and ears, as his mind couldn't focus on anything but your smile and the way you looked so damn... happy. Peaceful. Downright angelic, even.

Light footsteps crunch on the gravel louder and louder until they stopped behind him and he feels a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, it's you, your smile not as bright but just as genuine as your hand held out a phone. He sucked in a breath from his teeth, reaching out to take out the familiar device. He hadn't meant to but his fingers grazed your own and he couldn't help the way his heart leapt into his chest. Why was he feeling this way? Why was his chest contracting and why couldn't he breathe any easier? You said something and he feels almost bad when he asks you to repeat yourself.

Your smile widens as you glance downwards at your feet before looking up at him, "I said you better be careful with that thing, people won't always return it, you know." He nods.

"But you did," he says, rushed like he hadn't meant to say it at all.

Your smile doesn't dim, doesn't shrink, it deepens and he can see the beginnings of a laugh bubble inside of you. "I almost didn't." You say, and a hand reaches up to cover your mouth as you back up, laughing. Then you wave and you say goodbye and walk away back to your dog and your picnic blanket.

An old movie scratches inside of his head and it's as if he was transported back in time, listening to the music play and watching you sit back down, scratching the dog's back.

So this is love.

This particularly night, yes he lied he kept count, marks the six month since you had saved his life. Truly, without you, he would've been dead. He would've been another person to sink into the earth, forgotten and rotted. He would've taken his life and parted everyone with but a stench to his name.

There are days he regrets it but when he sees you again, it puts things in perspective.

So, he wants to do something special. He wants to be near you again. Following you home doesn't necessarily mean anything if he's more than a block away, keeping to himself and making sure no one else fucks with you. (If you deserved anything, it would be a peaceful, uneventful walk from the gas station to your home. And he would make sure of it a hundred, thousand times.)

It doesn't take much planning, he already knows so much about you already, if anything, slipping into your house feels... easy. Natural, despite it being anything but. In the end, it doesn't matter because your home is warm and smells so good, he knows you cooked before bed. Stepping lightly, he traces the walls with his fingers, taking in every detail he couldn't before, the photos framed on the wall, the decorations that, yes may be early, but you deserve happiness where you found it. Fall and Halloween, though already on the cusp of falling into season already, would have to be an everyday thing with how much you loved it so much. He wouldn't mind. He would never mind.

Your door already half-way opened, he peered around the edge, eyeing the form in your bed. It was you. You never took anybody home. (As if you knew he would be yours in the end, his mind whispers, logic bending and melding to his rose-colored feelings.) Never slept in anything more than a large, loose shirt. He doesn't immediately step in, watches as your chest rises and falls with every passing moment. You're... bewitching. Being near scratches an itch he only recently figured out. Being near you is so peaceful and so nerve-wracking at the same time, heart pounding, beating against the cages of his ribs, begging to tear its way out and settle into your hands, that were of no doubt, softer than any fabric the world could manufacture.

He steps into your room, hands shaking as they come up to lightly graze the walls in there too. With every step he takes closer to your bed, the more his hands shake and the more he chokes on his heart. There are thoughts racing inside his head, begging to leave and begging to leave you forever but how can he leave when you've done so much for him already? How can he leave right now, right now when he's come so far? He's lived without you for so long, he's not sure he can accept a life without being near you again.

The intoxicating scene of your room dizzies his head, spins his vision till he almost collapses over you, managing to catch himself after his knees buckled under his weight. You breathe deeply in and with every bated breath, he watches as you sigh out, shuffling in your sleep as your neck extends the other way, leaving it bare to him.

His head spins further as he releases a stolen breath, choosing to stand stock still, eyes catching onto any new detail he could see now, even in the dark. His fingers come over the edge of your bed and they burn when they touch your bare arm. Warm, soft. Just like he'd thought, like he remembered. His free hand comes up to cover his mouth, imagining it as yours and imagines that you've caught him, that you flip him onto the bed on his back, straddling his hips and pressing with a warm hand into his underwear, whispering sweet things into his neck and before he realizes it, his hand that had touched you- it had retracted back to his body, slipping underneath his pants and briefs, and squeezes around his cock. He almost couldn't contain himself, feeling the hardest he'd ever been, wanting nothing more than to sink the tip between your lips and send his seed down your throat. He wanted nothing more than that. The hand that covered his mouth lowered down, reaching out to brush the hair away from your neck, out of your face.

He leans down and inhales, soaking in how close you are, how you overwhelm his senses completely. His tongue darts out to wet his lips when an idea flashed in his head. It's there for a second before he leans closer, his tongue relishing in the taste of your skin, how hot you burn and how you sign against his touch, almost arching into it. He presses a kiss there and you move in your sleep again, almost hitting him in the process of batting whatever the hell was tickling you.

It's too much, too fast. His come coats the inside of his underwear and he has to pull away before he groans right into your ear.

He can't get any closer without waking you but you were nowhere near being ready for him. He slips out of your bedroom door, lips burning from where he kissed you. Yes, he kissed your sleeping face, from your forehead and cheeks, nose and chin to your lightly parted mouth. It didn't even last three seconds before he had to pull away, dragging himself out of your home and towards his.

His heart is pounding inside his chest but he knows you hold it, even whilst sleeping. And he hopes to one day hold yours.

And with hope and love, it could be soon.

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

How did you know you were in love with Mr. Warfstache? Also how long have you and Mr Warfstache been married?

How did I know?

...When I heard him laugh.

When the dust was finally able to settle after the firestorm tore through our lives... when everything was turned on its head, or otherwise torn to ribbons in front of our eyes, being dragged from one prison of existence to another, hopeless to wrest our fates back into our possessions, blinded by rage and panic, the searing, burning agony of futility holding my body and mind hostage, like barbed wires were where my very veins used to be...

But then... then, when we were reunited... when we were somehow able to find eachother again, past the mountain of despair that was dropped between us... Well, it was a surprise as it was seeing him so suddenly after being at the mercy of the Void for so long, a reluctant tourist in its curated worlds of torment...

I was so sure it would take at least an eternity to feel alright again.

And then I heard him laugh.

After everything he'd been through. Everything that was thrown at him. All the undue blame that he was saddled with. I had no time to even make an assumption of what became of him, but I would never in a thousand dimensions have guessed a man who could still laugh.

And it was a real laugh. Not a forced laugh, not laughter born of mania, but an honest-to-goodness jovial laugh.

And... well... that instilled some hope in me. Because if Wil could pick himself up, regardless of how much time and effort it took to on his behalf, and find some joy in the face of it being written on the very fabric of the Universe that he wasn't destined for it... Then, maybe, so could I.

Maybe there was something salvageable from what was left of all of us. And after being granted the mercy of reunion, maybe we -- Abraham, the Attorney, Wilford and, yes, even myself -- could learn to move forward together. Maybe it'd even eventually feel like second nature, to allow the joy a place in our existences without inhibitions.

I hope that answered your question.

-D

[thebrickinbrick]

The Horizon Which One Beholds From the Summit of a Barricade

The situation of all in that fatal hour and that pitiless place, had as result and culminating point Enjolras’ supreme melancholy.

Enjolras bore within him the plenitude of the revolution; he was incomplete, however, so far as the absolute can be so; he had too much of Saint-Just about him, and not enough of Anacharsis Cloots; still, his mind, in the society of the Friends of the A B C, had ended by undergoing a certain polarization from Combeferre’s ideas; for some time past, he had been gradually emerging from the narrow form of dogma, and had allowed himself to incline to the broadening influence of progress, and he had come to accept, as a definitive and magnificent evolution, the transformation of the great French Republic, into the immense human republic. As far as the immediate means were concerned, a violent situation being given, he wished to be violent; on that point, he never varied; and he remained of that epic and redoubtable school which is summed up in the words: “EightyNinety-three.”

Enjolras was standing erect on the staircase of paving-stones, one elbow resting on the stock of his gun. He was engaged in thought; he quivered, as at the passage of prophetic breaths; places where death is have these effects of tripods. A sort of stifled fire darted from his eyes, which were filled with an inward look. All at once he threw back his head, his blond locks fell back like those of an angel on the sombre quadriga made of stars, they were like the mane of a startled lion in the flaming of an halo, and Enjolras cried:

“Citizens, do you picture the future to yourselves? The streets of cities inundated with light, green branches on the thresholds, nations sisters, men just, old men blessing children, the past loving the present, thinkers entirely at liberty, believers on terms of full equality, for religion heaven, God the direct priest, human conscience become an altar, no more hatreds, the fraternity of the workshop and the school, for sole penalty and recompense fame, work for all, right for all, peace over all, no more bloodshed, no more wars, happy mothers!

To conquer matter is the first step; to realize the ideal is the second. Reflect on what progress has already accomplished. Formerly, the first human races beheld with terror the hydra pass before their eyes, breathing on the waters, the dragon which vomited flame, the griffin who was the monster of the air, and who flew with the wings of an eagle and the talons of a tiger; fearful beasts which were above man. Man, nevertheless, spread his snares, consecrated by intelligence, and finally conquered these monsters. We have vanquished the hydra, and it is called the locomotive; we are on the point of vanquishing the griffin, we already grasp it, and it is called the balloon. On the day when this Promethean task shall be accomplished, and when man shall have definitely harnessed to his will the triple Chimæra of antiquity, the hydra, the dragon and the griffin, he will be the master of water, fire, and of air, and he will be for the rest of animated creation that which the ancient gods formerly were to him. Courage, and onward! Citizens, whither are we going? To science made government, to the force of things become the sole public force, to the natural law, having in itself its sanction and its penalty and promulgating itself by evidence, to a dawn of truth corresponding to a dawn of day. We are advancing to the union of peoples; we are advancing to the unity of man. No more fictions; no more parasites. The real governed by the true, that is the goal.

Civilization will hold its assizes at the summit of Europe, and, later on, at the centre of continents, in a grand parliament of the intelligence. Something similar has already been seen. The amphictyons had two sittings a year, one at Delphos the seat of the gods, the other at Thermopylæ, the place of heroes. Europe will have her amphictyons; the globe will have its amphictyons. France bears this sublime future in her breast. This is the gestation of the nineteenth century. That which Greece sketched out is worthy of being finished by France.

Listen to me, you, Feuilly, valiant artisan, man of the people. I revere you. Yes, you clearly behold the future, yes, you are right. You had neither father nor mother, Feuilly; you adopted humanity for your mother and right for your father. You are about to die, that is to say to triumph, here. Citizens, whatever happens to-day, through our defeat as well as through our victory, it is a revolution that we are about to create. As conflagrations light up a whole city, so revolutions illuminate the whole human race. And what is the revolution that we shall cause? I have just told you, the Revolution of the True.

From a political point of view, there is but a single principle; the sovereignty of man over himself. This sovereignty of myself over myself is called Liberty. Where two or three of these sovereignties are combined, the state begins. But in that association there is no abdication. Each sovereignty concedes a certain quantity of itself, for the purpose of forming the common right. This quantity is the same for all of us. This identity of concession which each makes to all, is called Equality. Common right is nothing else than the protection of all beaming on the right of each. This protection of all over each is called Fraternity. The point of intersection of all these assembled sovereignties is called society. This intersection being a junction, this point is a knot. Hence what is called the social bond. Some say social contract; which is the same thing, the word contract being etymologically formed with the idea of a bond. Let us come to an understanding about equality; for, if liberty is the summit, equality is the base. Equality, citizens, is not wholly a surface vegetation, a society of great blades of grass and tiny oaks; a proximity of jealousies which render each other null and void; legally speaking, it is all aptitudes possessed of the same opportunity; politically, it is all votes possessed of the same weight; religiously, it is all consciences possessed of the same right.

Equality has an organ: gratuitous and obligatory instruction. The right to the alphabet, that is where the beginning must be made. The primary school imposed on all, the secondary school offered to all, that is the law. From an identical school, an identical society will spring. Yes, instruction! light! light! everything comes from light, and to it everything returns. Citizens, the nineteenth century is great, but the twentieth century will be happy.

Then, there will be nothing more like the history of old, we shall no longer, as to-day, have to fear a conquest, an invasion, a usurpation, a rivalry of nations, arms in hand, an interruption of civilization depending on a marriage of kings, on a birth in hereditary tyrannies, a partition of peoples by a congress, a dismemberment because of the failure of a dynasty, a combat of two religions meeting face to face, like two bucks in the dark, on the bridge of the infinite; we shall no longer have to fear famine, farming out, prostitution arising from distress, misery from the failure of work and the scaffold and the sword, and battles and the ruffianism of chance in the forest of events. One might almost say: There will be no more events. We shall be happy. The human race will accomplish its law, as the terrestrial globe accomplishes its law; harmony will be re-established between the soul and the star; the soul will gravitate around the truth, as the planet around the light.

Friends, the present hour in which I am addressing you, is a gloomy hour; but these are terrible purchases of the future. A revolution is a toll. Oh! the human race will be delivered, raised up, consoled! We affirm it on this barrier. Whence should proceed that cry of love, if not from the heights of sacrifice? Oh my brothers, this is the point of junction, of those who think and of those who suffer; this barricade is not made of paving-stones, nor of joists, nor of bits of iron; it is made of two heaps, a heap of ideas, and a heap of woes. Here misery meets the ideal.

The day embraces the night, and says to it: ‘I am about to die, and thou shalt be born again with me.’ From the embrace of all desolations faith leaps forth. Sufferings bring hither their agony and ideas their immortality. This agony and this immortality are about to join and constitute our death. Brothers, he who dies here dies in the radiance of the future, and we are entering a tomb all flooded with the dawn.”

Enjolras paused rather than became silent; his lips continued to move silently, as though he were talking to himself, which caused them all to gaze attentively at him, in the endeavor to hear more. There was no applause; but they whispered together for a long time. Speech being a breath, the rustling of intelligences resembles the rustling of leaves.

[emwheezie]

Can I gush about OC/comic stuff for a moment? (mostly spoiler free)

The story is about fate and friendship and how sometimes soulmates can be best friends too.

Now I won't lie, none of this was intentional, but this story has a way of writing itself in the darnedest of ways. I can dissect it like an english teacher for symbolism and themes. It doesn't even feel like I'm reaching... It's there somehow and come out of nowhere.

One of our main characters, Tony calls the majority of his friends or partners by nicknames. All of his friends end up with 4 letter nicknames, (Theo, Enzo) and all of his "soulmates," end up with 3 letter nicknames, (Wil, Meg, Oli, Liv). We haven't forced this or anything, it's just the natural break in their names.

Tony's a total romantic and thinks anyone he's with at the time is "definitely his soulmate"...............but it's somehow so beautiful that his BEST FRIEND Lennon, his name can be shortened as Lenn or Len and it's the same.........because sometimes your best friend is your soulmate... :)

Am I reaching....??? It's literally 3:28am and I am so emo over this...