#willow cleary

[cowplantcalamity]

The usual gang celebrated Harvestfest together.

[jaladwolf]

AGA AU Incorrect quotes

TW/CW: Swearing, Violence, Depictions of mental illness, Marcus being a piece of sh-t

Also this is non-canon but it is a bit accurate.

[Dahlia enters Stein’s office with a cupcake as he smokes a cigar while sitting at his desk.]

Dahlia: D-Dad?

Stein: What do you want Dahlia?

[Dahlia holds the cupcake out, gesturing for him to take it.]

Dahlia: T-t-this is fo-for you..

Stein: *cleary irritated* You really came into my office believing I would want that sh-t? If you’re going to waste my time, then make it worth while.

[He then sees his daughter Willow behind her with a whiffle bat, staring daggers at him.]

Stein: *now a bit scared* ….but since you worked hard on it, I’ll have it.

Dahlia: Yay! T-t-thank you d-daddy!

[Stein gingerly takes the cupcake from her.]

Stein: You can go now. I’ve got work to do.

[As Dahlia leaves, he then drops the cupcake on the floor. However Willow was actually still watching him from behind the door, so after Stein turned his back to the doorway, she calmly walked up behind him and before Stein could properly react, she swung, hitting him straight his back.]

[Cut to about half an hour later and Stein is sitting in the pizzeria’s nurse’s office, with ann ice pack on his back.]

Stein: Dottie, why must she do this to me?

Dottie: In all fairness, you pretty much deserved that. If you hadn’t purposely the cupcake our sis made for you, you wouldn’t have gotten that strike to the back.

Dottie: Why’d you even drop it?

Stein: I thought it was drugged.

[Dottie looks at Stein with an almost disappointed expression.]

Dottie: *to herself* F-cking Idiot…

[In another room with Willow and Pete]

Pete: So you hit dad with a whiffle bat?

Willow: Yep.

Pete: Nice one. I’m proud of you kid.

[Dahlia then walks into the room, looking a bit nervous as she twitches.]

Dahlia: B-brother… d-d-did dad l-like what I made for him?

Pete: Of course he did. In fact, dad loved it. He told me how good it was.

Dahlia: Yay!

[slytherinlives]

I'm two years late to the party but here they are! The core four of my Legacy MC's. (there's two more but I wanted to focus on one from each house)

Kathryn Knight:

Kathryn is a half-blood witch who grew up in a small village in the countryside of France. Her mother Mary is a muggle florist and her father Theodore is a well respected auror within the wizarding community. For the first fifteen years of her life, Kathryn was considered to be non-magical by her father, knowing it was possible for children born of a muggle parent to not have magic. The summer she turned sixteen, Kathryn was helping her mother tend to their garden and got frustrated by a willow tree sapling not growing and a burst of magic flew from her fingertips, causing the tree to grow to full size. The incident caused gossip amongst the villagers and the Knight family moved to London, where she received her admittance letter to Hogwarts to start her fifth year.

You can read Kathryn's story here or here where you can follow along Kathryn's journey as she takes on her Seventh Year as a a Prefect, Hufflepuff Quidditch Seeker and the return of Sebastian and Anne Sallow as she tackles returning feelings and new mysteries.

(Sebastian x Kathryn romance)

(My other Hufflepuff MC Kallum Finchley makes cameo appearances as a beater for the Quidditch team, although he does not have the ancient magic ability for the sake of the story.)

Lyra and Lyle Grey:

Lyra and Lyle grew up in a whirlwind of life. Their mother Marlena uprooted them and their younger brother Luca from their home often, moving to various cities and countries and never staying in one place for too long.

Lyle is very protective of his twin sister, often scolding her for being reckless and putting herself in danger. He can be intimidating and stand-offish toward others, only showing warmth toward his siblings. Lyle loves learning new things and often holds the opposite view of his twin. He prefers to make calculated moves and often chooses more violent methods in a fight. Lyle is fiercely loyal to those he cares about but isn't afraid to be blunt and honest when needed.

Lyra thrives on new adventure and discoveries. She often gets herself into trouble due to her impulsive nature, which adds stress onto her twin brother. Lyra grew up as the only daughter in the family and her mother always scolded her for not being lady-like, often telling her she needed to behave more proper if she were to be wed one day. Lyra wants more for her life than a settled one, which puts her in conflict with her mother.

Their mother Marlena introduced a new fiancé to the twins that ended in a physical altercation, causing both of their magic to present as a means to protect the other.

You can read their story here or here as you follow along their journey of returning to Hogwarts for their sixth year, alongside their younger brother starting his first year. Lyra wants to learn more about the repository magic to help cure Anne Sallow, while her twin brother Lyle wants to open it as a means to protect his family.

(Eventual Sebastian x Lyra romance)

This is a multi pov story with most of the story taking place from Lyra's pov.

Jaina Cleary:

Jaina grew up in an orphanage with her older brother, who disappeared after his twelfth birthday. Jaina spent many years trying to find him but kept getting road blocked. She grew to be bitter and cold toward others and doesn't open up to them easily. Jaina isn't afraid to do what's necessary as opposed to what is right, which causes concern in others. Jaina is loyal to those she finds herself content with, and doesn't mind letting herself wind down and just be kid with them.

Jaina spent most of her life having to be a grown up and often gets annoyed by other children, but with her new friends at Hogwarts, she's slowly come to terms that it's okay for herself to be one sometimes too.

Her story is in the works, but may not come out for some time as I try to finish the others that I am way too behind on.

I hope you guys love them as much as I do <3

[readingbooksinisrael]

December 2022 Read This Month

Rereads

East/Edith Pattou (East #1) (ya fantasy fairy tale retelling)-Rose has always been more wild than her mother would like, but no one expects a polar bear to demand her in exchange for riches and her sister healing from her illness. Rose, despite her family’s protests, agrees, but when she makes a terrible mistake she has to make a journey east of the sun and west of the moon.

Heartstopper, vol. 1/Alice Oseman (Heartstopper #1) (ya romance slice-of-life graphic novel)-Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more...?

Heartstopper, vol. 2/Alice Oseman (Heartstopper #2) (ya romance slice-of-life graphic novel)-Charlie, a highly-strung, openly gay over-thinker, and Nick, a cheerful, soft-hearted rugby player, meet at a British all-boys grammar school. Friendship blooms quickly, but could there be something more...?

Ragged Dick/Horatio Alger, Jr. (Ragged Dick #1) (mg rags to riches)-Ragged Dick is a bootblack and has been on the streets since he was six (he’s now fourteen), but an unexpected encounter with another boy makes him determined to move up in the world.

The Wind in the Willows/Kenneth Grahame, illustrated by Paul Bransom (mg animal cozy fantasy)-Mole and Rat, Toad and Badger all live cozily near the River. Well, all except Toad. He has an obsession with motor cars that leads him into trouble that his friends have to help him with, in between boating in the summer and writing poetry in the winter.

רק שלא יגיד את המילה הזאת\יעל נאמן ברק, מאוייר ע”י אבי כץ (mg realistic fiction)- עוד פחות משנה יהיה לאחיה של תמר, ילד עם פיגור שכלי, בר מצווה וקרוביה עדיין מתעלמים ממנו באירועים. בינתיים היא צריכה להתמודד עם הצקות מילדים בשכונה, חיבתה לילד בכיתתה וחוג חדש.

5 Stars

Almost American Girl/Robin Ha (ya graphic novel memoir)-When Robin’s mother unexpectedly moves them from Seoul to the western US her world drops out from beneath her.

One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich/Aleksander Solzhenitsyn (adult semi-autobiographical fiction)-The story of labor-camp inmate Ivan Denisovich Shukhov, it graphically describes his struggle to maintain his dignity in the face of communist oppression. An unforgettable portrait of the entire world of Stalin's forced work camps.

The Real Hole/Beverly Cleary, illustrated by DyAnne DiSalvio-Ryan (picture book realistic fiction)-Jack is digging a hole. But what will they do with it when it is done?

4.5 Stars

The Long Distance Dispatch Between Lydia Goldblatt and Julie Graham-Chang/Amy Ignatow (The Popularity Papers #2) (mg illustrated novel realistic fiction)-After all their preparation for 6th grade, Lydia is moving to London for six months. But it’s okay because Julie will get popular in the US, Lydia will do the same in England and so they’ll both be ready for Lydia when she gets back.

מסיפורי המושבה רחובות\ד”ר יהודה דניאלי, מאוייר ע”י יעקב גוטרמן (ya memoir)- מסיפורי המושבה רחובות מתאר תקופה שעברה ולא תשוב יותר. סיפורי ראשית המושבה, על החקלאות בראשיתה, על כרמי ענבים, מטעי הזיתים והפרדסים. סיפורי שמירה והווי שומרים. סיפורים על הילדים והנוער של המושבה. אירועי�� שאירעו לפני קום המדינה ומעט מראשיתה.

4 Stars

Aru Shah and the City of Gold (Pandavas #4) (mg fantasy)-Aru has to get out of the trap she’s been caught in and beat the Sleeper to the most powerful weapon in the world. Plus, her mother’s disappeared and apparently she has a half-sister she never heard of. 

Dan and Phil Go Outside/Daniel Howell and Phil Lester (living room book)-Follows The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire through photos and comments from Dan and Phil.

3 Stars

Camp Time in California Mary Pope Osborne, illustrated by AJ Ford (Magic Tree House #35) (children’s fantasy time travel)-Annie and Jack are told they need to save nature, but everything in the forest they travel to seems perfect. Then their old friend, Teddy Roosevelt, appears. What is he doing there and how is it connected to saving nature?

I’m Not Dying With You Tonight/Gilly Segal and Kimberley Jones (ya realistic fiction)-Two girls, Campbell and Lena, get caught in a riot at a school football (American) game and have to survive the night together.

2.5 Stars

The Inexplicable Logic of My Life/Benjamin Alire Sáenz (ya realistic fiction)-Sal has been good up to now but suddenly, in his last year of high school, he’s throwing fists. Is this the legacy of his birth father who he’s never met?

Invisible Emmie/Terri Libenson (mg illustrated novel realistic fiction)-Emmie feels invisible. Katie is outgoing. This is the story of the day their lives intersect.

1.5 Stars

Late Lunch with Llamas/Mary Pope Osborne, illustrated by AJ Ford (Magic Tree House #34) (children’s fantasy time travel)-Jack and Annie come to ancient Peru just in time to see a llama being stolen. They have to save her!

Sunlight on the Snow Leopard/Mary Pope Osborne, illustrated by AJ Ford (Magic Tree House #36) (children’s fantasy time travel)-Jack and Annie travel to Nepal and meet two girls, a grieving old man and a ghost.

[ravenspeakmuses]

A glimps of the redhair gives him hope, "Willow..." Avery wispers, though as the woman moves a little close he knows, this isn't her, shit! he needs to find her before something bad happens! "What?" he asks, he's cleary confused, a little dazed even, "I--your notion of fun is cleary not the same as mine," he shakes his head, at this point he doesn't even know what to think, a lot of people seeme to be under the--black eye influence, and they were horrible..."Look, I don't have time for this! if you're--one of those--things, either kill me now or leave me be, I've got to find my friend, I don't have--time to play games!"

WHO — mildred fitzgerald zaenith specifically & open WHERE — syreni sands

THERE WAS NO ONE WOULD COULD have planned a better event than this. it felt like their meat suit was thrumming with the anticipation they felt. it was hellish & they loved it. they hadn't felt this much of a thrill since torturing souls in hell. it was a devil's gift. laughter bubbled out of their lips as their eyes swept around the various chaos. slowly, gleefully, they made their way to the beach and caught sight of a stray soul. with a skip in their step they made their way down to them. a sly smile was spread across their face. ❝ now why are you all alone over here when all the fun's happening over there? ❞

[godzilla-reads]

Summer Days in the Mountains by Yu Xuanji; from Autumn Willows: Poetry by Women of China’s Golden Age translated by Bannie Chow and Thomas Cleary

[megabadbunny]

>:/

[emeraldpedro]

The Wound

Hunter notices it, of course he does. Maybe because it's always easy for his eyes to linger at the sight of Willow Park. But this time, it's not to notice how strong and powerful she is, or how her eyes shine as emerald, or how the golden framed glasses match her hairstyle... It's because she is cleary in pain and she is hiding. She actually good at it, he knows because he has the same habit.

He catches her treating the wound when everyone is busy at the kitchen. He walks slowly to her, she actually didn't notice him yet. "May I help you?" he asks. She gasps and looks at him, panicking for a moment. Closes her eyes. 1.2.3.4. Breathes. "It's nothing" a more calmed down Willow responds. "It won't be nothing if you keep treating wrong. " Hunter gets closer but he looks at her, asking for permission. She nods giving to him. But she looks away. Usually, Hunter would be nervous by being so close to his Captain. But he is too worried about her to care about that. "You are good at this." A pause. "I got pratice. Bel... Philip used to say that the perfect Golden Guard doesn't need help trating their wound." Willow doesn't say anything for a moment. "So no Healing Coven for you?" "Nah" They look at each other and then he knows both of them are thinking about how Viney would heal this wound in a second. He finishes. "Please don't tell the others" she says "Luz and Gus would get so worried... Mrs. Noceda too. And Amity... i don't want her to see me like this.

The tone she uses reffering to Amity lingers onr him. It's familiar. He heard on his own voice Hunter thinks for a moment.

"I won't" Hunter says "But you know... nobody will think less of you because of a battle wound. I am not the one to judge you for thinking like this but... I know i would never think less of you because of it."

The emerald eyes are wide open. Hunter gets nervous. She is so... everything. "I am going now but if you need any more help. Just ask me... or the others. We are here." Hunter starts to leave but her hand gets to him first. He stops.  "Can you stay a little longer?" Hunter looks at her. but she is not look at him. Willow Park looks flustered and her eyes feel like trying to escape his. Hunter has not idea why she is like this but he feels a liking for it. "Okay" A whisper comes: "Thanks, Hunter" They don't know how long they just stay there in silence. Hunter catches a book to read while Willow just relaxes on his shoulder, maybe sleeping or maybe awake. They are on their own world and they don't notice anything. They don't even notice Luz at the door seeing them like this, eyes kinda sad but a small smile on her lips. These small victores also count.

[emeraldpedro]

I feel like Willlow IS Far from oblivious. She is characterized as a perceptive character and different from Luz have less worrying to think about that would divert her Focus.

Willow for me is waiting and being patient. Both for herself - she is someone who has self value issues and who was betrayed and bullied by her best friend for years - but also for Hunter. She treats her relationship with him like gardening, careful and patient to not ruin It.

But she also enjoys It, especially spending time with Hunter and subtle flirting with him to test the waters. It must also feel good to be admired by someone she also admires a lot. And he cleary enjoys her flirting..

Both @lollytea and @loosescrewslefty have very interesting posts about Willow side of Huntlow and How she is Far from oblivious.

A theory about Huntlow development i guess

Okay so I think Huntlow is quite paralleling Lumity so far, you know, one of them (Amity/Hunter) falling first and the other half (Luz/Willow) being quite oblivious UNTILL they see the other part revealing their true power (like when Amity faces Odalia and protects Luz from getting beaten up). That's the "Oh" moment, and I think Willow will also have it when Hunter goes through the (incoming) rage phase of his grief and WILD against Belos.

(Don't mind me I've been thinking about this for days and I felt like I needed to share)

[xshayarsha]

The clouds of my heart have gathered between being and nothingness;

Li Ye, from Autumn Willows: Poetry by Women of China’s Golden Age; While Living Alone. Trans.Thomas Cleary & Bannie Chow.

[cowplantcalamity]

She's joined a talent agency and is pursuing her dream of being an actress.

[therealcalicali]

what are some of your favourite movies or books?

Thanks for the awesome question, hun.❤🥰❤ Since I'm a bit of a neurotic Bibliophile, l'll try to keep things short.😂

__________________________

Children's Books:

Heidi - Johanna Spyri

Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales - Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm

Bezzus and Ramona - Beverly Cleary

How To Eat Fried Worms - Thomas Rockwell

Henry Higgins - Beverly Cleary

Charlotte's Web - E.B. White

Esperanza Rising - Pam Munoz

Animal Farm - George Orwell

Aesop's Fables - Aesop

The Complete Fairy Tales - Hans Christian Andersen

Dinotopia - James Gurney

The Wishful Princess - Kathie Kalafatis

The Complete Short Stories Of Mark Twain - Mark Twain

The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer - Mark Twain

Pagan Papers - Kenneth Grahame

Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain

Hometown - Norman Rockwell

The Wind In The Willows - Kenneth Grahame

The Legend Of Sleep Hollow - Washington Irving

Dave Dashaway The Young Aviator - Roy Rockwood

The Outsiders - S.E. Hinton

Campfire Girls Collection - Halcyon Classics

Pippi Longstocking - Astrid Lindgren

The Children Of Green Knowe (Collection) - Lucy M. Boston

Anglo-Saxon Boy - Tony Brandman

Perrault's Fairy Tales - Charles Perrault

Adult Literature:

The Twelve Ceasars - Suetonius

The Prairie Trilogy - Willa Cather

The Complete Fiction of H.P. Lovecraft - H.P. Lovecraft

The Canterville Ghost - Oscar Wilde

SPQR: A History of Ancient Rome - Mary Beard

Major Works of Charles Dickens - Charles Dickens

True Grit - Charles Portis

King Arthur and His Knights - Howard Pyle

The Complete Sherlock Holmes - Conan Doyle

The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde

Ivanhoe - Walter Scott

The Iliad and the Odyssey - Homer

The Art of War - Sun Tzu

Madame Bovary - Gustav Flaubert

Angels and Insects - A.S. Byatt

My Confession - Leo Tolstoy

The Complete Bronte Collection - Bronte Sisters

Valperga- Mary Shelley

For Whom the Bell Tolls - Earnest Hemingway

Uncovering Celtic Mythology - Lucas Russo

The Way of the Wyrd: Tales of An Anglo-Saxon Sorcerer - Brian Bates

The Castle of Otrano: A Gothic Story - Horace Walpole

Lord of the Flies - William Golding

The Complete Tales of Edgar Allan Poe - E.A. Poe

The Complete works of Jane Austen- Jane Austen

The Alchemist- Paulo Coelho

The Orphan on the Rhine - Eleanor Sleath

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Louis Stevenson

The Last Kingdom - Bernard Cornwall

Toll the Hounds - Steven Erikson

The Midnight Bell - Francis Lathom

Dracula - Bram Stoker

The Woman in Black - Susan Hill

The Divine Comedy: Inferno - Purgatorio - Paradiso - Dante Alighieri

Saxons, Vikings and Celts - Bryan Sykes

The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman - Laurence Sterne

Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

The White Horse King: The Life of Alfred Great - Benjamin R. Merkle

Moll Flanders - Daniel Defoe

The Last of The Mohicans - James Fenimore Cooper

Movies/Film:

Salaam Bombay (1988)

The Assassination of Jesse James (2007)

Creepshow (1982)

The Wolf if Wallstreet (2013)

Gangs of New York (2002)

Stand by Me (1986)

The Outsiders (1983)

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

The Lost Boys (1987)

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

Scarface (1983)

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane (1962)

Bandit Queen (1995)

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1853)

Dances With Wolves (1990)

Gone With The Wind (1939)

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

The Godfather (1972)

Titanic (1997)

Hellraiser (1987)

The Terminator (1984)

The Exorcist (1973)

Last of the Mohicans (1992)

Goodfellas (1990)

The Omen (1976)

Psycho (1960)

Bully (2001)

Bonus:

My Lovely Sam Soon - KDrama (2005)😂😭🤣

[barcarole]

Do you read chinese classical poetry? Do you have any suggestions where to start?

These are some of my favorite poets:

Du Fu

T'ao Ch'ien

Li Bai

Li Qingzhao

Su Shi/Su Tung-p’o

Du Mu (II)

Li Po

You can also start with several collections:

Classic of Poetry/Odes (trans. Ezra Pound)

Nineteen Old Poems

Three Hundred Tang Poems

Songs of the South (this is one of my absolute favorites)

These are some anthology/reference books:

Classical Chinese Poetry: An Anthology, David Hinton

How to Read Chinese Poetry: A Guided Anthology, Zong-qi Cai

Autumn Willows: Poetry by Women of China’s Golden Age, Bannie Chow, Thomas Cleary

Mountain Home: The Wilderness Poetry of Ancient China, David Hinton

Li Po and Tu Fu: Poems, Arthur Cooper; Shui Chien-Tung

Three Chinese Poets: Translations of poems by Wang Wei, Li Bai, and Du Fu, Vikram Seth

Five T’ang Poets, David Young

Personally, I started with an anthology of Du Fu’s poetry (in Spanish, here - also several Tang poets), and then started reading the collections by David Hinton and Vikram Seth. Afterwards, I continued with Li Po, Li Qinzhao, Su Shi, and the classical Tang poetry collections. 

[macabrefm]

───   𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔  :   mwf  fcs  and  characters  ?

   CANONS  -  davina  claire  ,  vicki  donovan   ,  erica  reyes  ,  april  young  ,  alicia  banes  ,  carol  lockwood  ,   faith  lehane  ,  liz  forbes   ,   jody  mills  ,  sarah  blake  ,  donna  hanscum  ,  willow  rosenberg   ,  cordelia  chase  ,  freya  mikaelson  ,  nadia  petrova  ,  josette  laughlin  ,  luna  garza  ,  holly  cleary  ,  maryann  forrester  ,  ginger  ,  cassie  robinson  ,  hayden  romero  ,  claire  novak  ,  braeden  ,  marin  morrell  ,   isobel  flemming  ,  daphne  landry  ,  dawn  summers  ,  sheila  bennett  ,  anael  ,  eileen  lahey  ,  kelly  kline  ,   tara  maclay  ,  kendra  young  ,  riley  finn  ,  anya  jenkins  ,  madison  ,  abaddon  ,  charlie  bradbury  &  kaia  nieves  !

   FCS  -    sarah  paulson  ,  miranda  otto  ,  kawennahere  devery  jacobs  ,  angela  bassett  ,  lupita  nyong'o  ,  samantha  logan  ,  hunter  schafer  ,  deepika  padukone  ,  maya  hawke  ,  natasha  liu  bordizzo  ,  cierra  ramirez  ,  barbie  ferreira  ,  tati  gabrielle  ,   jurnee  smollett  ,  bruna  marquezine  ,  jessica  alba  ,  famke  janssen  ,  lizeth  selene  ,  chelsea  clark  ,  summer  bishil  ,  zazie  beetz  ,  lesley-ann  brandt  ,  laverne  cox  ,  gugu  mbatha-raw  ,  sandra  oh  ,  margot  robbie  ,  laura  harrier  ,  hande  ercel  ,  gemma  chan  ,  adeline  rudolph  ,  naomi  scott  ,  dewanda  wise  ,  blu  hunt  ,  billie  lourd  ,  beanie  feldstein  ,  dichen  lachman  ,  zendaya  coleman  ,  hazar  erguclu  ,  carla  gugino  ,  minka  kelly  ,  lulu  antariksa  ,  sai  bennett  ,  brittany  o’grady  ,  hoyeon  jung  ,  marisa  tomei  ,  moon  bloodgood  ,  bianca  lawson  ,  meaghan  rath  ,  amber  rose  revah  ,  lauren  ridloff  &  salma  hayek  !

[finefeatheredfriend]

overall surgery experience: a solid 6/10

pros:

for some reason they had a single random llama amongst a collage of all the employers on the cover of the welcome to the hospital brochure that they gave me

they asked me what kind of music i like and then put it on while they started giving me the anaesthesia

the anaesthesia doctor was extremely kind and also super cute and when she came in while willow by taylor was playing she said she loved the song and she started humming/singing along and jokingly swayed/danced to it ans it was completely adorable and when i went under she gently stroked my cheek which was sweet

cons:

everyone kept asking me about my studies and i had to explain over and over and over again that i'm not currently studying but in fact rehabilitating after going to a clinic for my depression, and many of them enthusiastically told me i could go back to uni and 'power through!!' soon which sucked... and when i told them i don't plan on going back they asked what else i had planned and i was reminded that currently i have zero plans for the future cause i'm still not doing that well and yeah. sucks to be pulled into a depressive episode right before surgery :/

no one was wearing sexy cowboy boots (although imagining that made me quite happy lol)

i KNOW i dreamed something absolutely amazing but i can't recollect ANY of it and it's FRUSTRATING

german anaesthesia sucks. i mean okay it did its job alright but!!!! where are my crazy ramblings?? i was completely conscious and sane within seconds of being woken up by the cute doctor and it's not fair!

i wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything before the surgery and they asked me like. right after the anaesthesia wore off if i was hungry and if i wanted lunch and I SAID NO. cause i wasn't hungry then! and now i'm starving :(

so yeah. the cute doctor was cute but wasn't wearing lady cowboy boots so this surgery cleary only deserves a six out of ten

i guess it's cool they fixed my broken leg though

[beyondtheciouds]

.26.

Lucie couldn't sleep.

Her eyes would close, fatigue trying to persuade her mind to turn off. But, the voices inside her head would not stop.

Talking. Shouting. Screaming all at once; vying for her undivided attention.

Several ghosts filled the dark room turning the air icy surrounding the bed. All but a small boy were pleading with her. Begging her. Calling her.

Lucie took a breath, watching the steam rising from her mouth float up and across the room. The steam swirled like smoke, twisting from side to side as invisible hands batted at it.

Lucie knew what they wanted. These spirits wanted to be let out of Fairchild Manor as if they were like caged animals. She wondered if she could help any of them.

The Queen of the Dead, they called to her, sending showers of shivers over her skin. She pushed the covers down and grabbed the beige button cardigan from the end of her bed. The spirits were coming closer as Lucie pulled it on. Set us free. Set us free. Set us free.

Lucie gazed into the shadows at the little boy. She guessed he couldn't be no more than two. He was rigidly standing and so pale his skin seemed a translucent shade of blue.

Lucie gasped. The boy was in a white embroidered suit and stood separated from the rest of the ghosts. He was hidden in the shadows, just on the cusp of light streaming in from the moon. She could see half his face was caved in.

Lucie could smell the rotting pine from his casket and she gagged.

The boy held the obscured image of Belial's hand like a vice. His small fingertips were white: the foam of crashing waves.

The little boy's hands unwillingly reminded Lucie of Nate's bony fingers; tightly wrapped around her neck. She felt the atmosphere charge with despair and misery; broken promises of the past the moment she said his name aloud. "Nate."

Lucie wanted to crawl back into bed and hide under the covers. She closed her eyes, shaking. She had never really been afraid of the ghosts that weren't scary. Not even when she was very young. Back then, she'd just considered them all her imaginary friends.

Now, she was afraid.

She was afraid of Nate.

The boy and Belial were both whispering Lucie's name like a prayer and her body involuntarily trembled at the same time she caught a glimpse of Nate's skeletal hand reaching out of the shadows.

Lucie swallowed her fear, hard.

The boy's eyes were a slate gray, respectively resembling ancient headstones. Lucie couldn't help but notice that they were boring holes into her. His hair was light and luminous putting shame to the fullest moon. Strands were cut into a bowl shape around his head and lifted with sudden rush of bitter air. Lashes as thick as pen feathers lined his almond shaped eyes and fluttered against the pallid skin underneath.

He looked like Grace.

Lucie opened her eyes, the image of the boy had burned holes in her vision. She was breathing heavy, the wind knocked out of her lungs. Her heart was a complicated machine, crushing her organs and breaking her ribs. Out of breath, she bolted upright in bed as footsteps sounded on the stairs. Uprooted from the noise of the ghosts, the voices aburptly stopped.

Lucie held her breath, exhaling when the noise in the hall suddenly stopped at her door. The moonlight shone in through the curtains and was calming like a hand on her shoulder.

The window was open, the sound of crickets and owls echoing through the forest behind the manor enchanted Lucie. The sounds outside alerted her mind.

Once or twice, Lucie had thought she heard wolves howling in the distance. She turned her body, placing her bare feet on the floor.

As if in a fairytale or a dream she glided to the window. Dazed, she waited for Matthew.

A knock as if on que sounded on her door. Matthew opened the door and stumbled inside. Lucie could tell he was drunk already, his face ruddy and full in the dim lighting. He looked like a cherub. "Luce? I.. uh...sorry to disturb you... "

Lucie's nightgown billowed in the cold breeze pouring in as Matthew trailed off to a soft gasp. Her cheeks were a rosy pink; flushed as if she'd been the one drinking.

Matthew was cleary flustered with Lucie's appearance. He averted his darkening gaze; the last of self-esteem. He couldn't look at her like this or when he was this drunk. "I'm going to Alicante. Do you...do you need anything?"

It was strange to hear the once self assurred boy stutter. Lucie squinted and shook her head, her curls almost black in the shadow of the moon. No, she didn't need anything but this nightmare to go away. She felt guilty thinking it; feeling like her life was now ruined by something that never should have happened.

How could she? How could he? How could they?

Matthew did his best to hide any disappointed feelings he might have had when tried to smile, but it was very lopsided and unnatural. His lips dipped oddly and the solitary dimple appearred that she remembered.

"Are you sure?" He asked, although his tone had made it clear he was just being polite.

Again, she was wordless. She nodded and it felt like a reflex like everything felt with Matthew.

Lucie heard her Aunt Sophie's voice in her ears assurring her. Just nod and smile. There's still a chance you are dreaming.

Hollering coming from outside distracted them both from the awkwardness and for once Lucie was greatful Matthew had found other lost Shadowhunters. Social paririahs out for blood and a good time.

A distraction for him from their too real situation. A situation that Lucie felt was not going to end the way she thought.

Lucie folded her arms defensively across her chest although she had nothing to be defensive about. "I'm good, thank you." Matthew was looking past her, out the window towards the willow tree where the group of boys and girls had gathered. He lifted a hand and waved to them. "Alright then. I'll be on my way."

The air became thick with the words they left unsaid. Lucie knew at some point they would have to speak about the next step but she was not going to be the one to broach the subject.

Matthew's face turned scarlet as though he felt the same and the air around Lucie seemed warmer. She blinked as a cool hand pressed against her shoulder, urging her.

"Uh.. have a good night, Lu." Matthew said after a long minute, sounding uncomfortable and unsure. He frowned, his feelings hurt.

Lucie blinked at the heat he had brought in with him and the smooth coolness that now wrapped around her like Jesse's lanky arms. She pressed her lips together in what she hoped was a smile. "You too."

Hours went by and Lucie tossed and turned in the bed that wasn't hers. Although she was exhausted, her mind was running like a locomotive; pushing out theories of steam and burning blocks of ideas until a deliberate pounding on the front door pulled her from the restlessness of her sheets.

The letter; the telegram would come from London a day late and Lucie had been exactly a dollar short with the tip.

After recieving and reviewing the two handwritten pages, Lucie sat down at her desk. She had spent the last few hours rereading Thomas's words by witchlight; his warning invading her head.

Grace is coming.

Lucie's tired eyes had spent the night staring at the papers; her mind a whirl of whispering and decipherings. She was far too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice Jesse watched quietly from the shrinking shadows.

Lucie had waited until she saw the Fairchild carriage roll up the driveway to go outside. She knew she had to tell Matthew because...well, she wasn't entirely sure. But she thought he needed to hear what Tom had to say.

In an effort to stay warm against the briskness of the daybreak, she quickly piled on a wool robe and a heavy coat that was far too big for her petite frame. She stuffed her feet in knitted socks and a worn pair of Matthew's boots.

Lucie ran like she saw the Devil from her room and bolted down the creaky stairs. The girl was a thunder cloud stealing the quiet of a sleepy afternoon.

Lucie waited at the door of the manor eagerly as Matthew finally climbed out of the yellow carriage. He blew a kiss into the darkness of the inside and shut the door.

The white horses neither noticed nor cared when Matthew petted their heads as he passed them, singing.

Lucie cornered Matthew on the steps. He had just arrived back at Fairchild Manor from a long night spent at the taverns in Alicante and the shock on his face was unmistakable.

Even from a distance, he had smelt vile much to Lucie's disaproval. His clothes were rumpled, stained with stale cigar burns and expensive booze. His body stunk like a lethal combination of congealed blood and body odor.

All masked by cheap perfume.

The sun had barely risen as she stood on the steps, fuming. She kept the dangerous giddy feeling from rising to her lips as he stopped in front of her. When he turned his head, she saw one eye was black and blue.

Matthew was six sheets to the wind and he was still singing some gaudy tune he picked up in a bar. Lucie grimly noticed his voice was way off kilter. Lucie had covered her mouth to prevent the vicious overtired laughter in her from boiling over at the scenario. Her logical mind forced a vacant reaction to his obvious oblivious actions. At least the fact that he was not brooding or angry numbed her anger a smidgen.

Matthew was cleary more drunk than before. He lifted and arm, preventing Lucie from moving away as he reached out and grabbed her hand. "Luce," he said happily, his hand soaked with a substance Lucie preferred not known the name of. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Without even a hello, Lucie ripped her hand away. She wiped her hand on her coat as she hastily read him Thomas's letter. Her face was a ripe tomato and she wished steam rose from her ears.

When she finished reading, she realized his one good eye had been preoccupied with her mouth instead of the words she read to him.

Lucie found Matthew infuriating and she had said so.

"Oh Matthew!" Lucie shrieked as the sun rose above them like the backdrop in play.

"What!?" Matthew blinked, his green eyes dark as he licked his lips. His smile was mischievous and wide. "Say it again, please. Just one more time Lu."

"You are positively infuriating!"

Matthew sighed dramatically at Lucie. He had been in a good mood until she dampened it with Thomas's lectures and her prudish attitude. He grunted wearily as he wedged past her.

Lucie rolled her eyes as he ran up the rest of the steps. He went into the manor without a glance backwards.

Lucie tipped her head back and laughed as Matthew slammed the door.