#willi easton

[gethighdropacidneverdie]

Out for iOS 20

[hoffmansbignaturals]

if steamboat willie is now public domain does this mean we can finally get mickeys dick smasher

[sillygeeseys]

John Kramer x William Easton x Willy Wonka throuple. Call it SugarShipping.

I'm done trying to be a normal individual. Post.

[significant-narratives]

cannot emphasize to you enough how much i want every leaf birth chart essay on the planet... of course a bit of an unreasonable ask but moreso just stating that i love your analysis and every time you do it im like. FASCINATING📝📝📝...

THANK YOU oh my god… i am honoured and the pleasure is all mine!! i love to yap about what the stars reveal about the leafies <3 and i think with time i will eventually get around to all of them 🫡

also since you’re here i feel like i have to share this with you… i know we’ve all agreed on the mitch -> cowboy parallels but. what if i told you that easton and william share like 4/5 of the same major placements (same sun, moon, merc and venus). i’m genuinely asking idk what to do with this information

[copperbadge]

So the algorithms have informed me of a White Collar reboot: https:// variety.com /2024/tv/news/white-collar-reboot-willie-garson-1236028159/

Which hope is more futile: no more Nazi loot, or canon OT3?

Oh, no, it's like running into an ex you dumped years ago because they were awful but they look amazing and are obviously flirting with you. Oh, no, White Collar, I cannot allow you to break my heart a second time.

I feel like...Jeff Easton did not react super great to the entirely justified yelling about the badly mishandled Nazi Loot plotline last time, but I do think he maybe learned that Nazis are in fact a real thing and not a plot point that you get to play with however you like. And the climate vis-a-vis fascism in 2024 is very different from what it was in 2011. I think any production or distribution company would give him much less of a free hand in terms of "Let's do a lighthearted dramedy plotline about the lasting ramifications of intentional and industrialized genocide. Oh, we will mostly ignore the genocide part, don't worry."

Fuck, I hope. I never even watched the last season of the last run. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Maybe I'm a sucker, I've been a sucker before, but even though I probably won't watch it, I want to believe that "no more nazi loot" has strong odds. As for a canon OT3...yeah, awful as it is, I want that to be the futile hope, because if it's between "no nazis" or "my OT3 but nazis" I'm going with "no nazis" and if folks feel differently they should quietly walk away from me right now.

Not that you can never write a story with nazi loot in it and make it good and meaningful, but you have to first realize that WWII was not just a setting for an Indiana Jones movie. I'm not confident a lot of people in the White Collar writers room have had this realization.

Man, you either don't get renewed for a third season or you live long enough to become a villain. (Or you are John Rogers. John Rogers, please do not let me down.)

[scotianostra]

On 29th February 1904 the Pavilion Theatre, Glasgow, opened.

Designed by Bertie Crewe for Thomas Barrasford, the Pavilion Theatre opened at the corner of Renfield Street and Renfrew Street, Glasgow on the 29 February, 1904. It was regarded as luxurious for its time with its decor being described by the owners as “pure Louis XV”. An electrically operated sliding roof ensured good ventilation.

Performances in the early days were mainly variety, melodrama and pantomime. Many of the leading music hall artistes of the period appeared at the Pavilion, including Marie Lloyd, Little Tich, Harry Lauder, Florrie Forde, Will Fyffe, Sarah Bernhardt and a then unknown Charlie Chaplin.

Since the 1930s, the Pavilion began to host pantomimes with top name stars of the Scottish variety scene, such as Harry Gordon and Dave Willis. In more recent times it has produced plays, such as ‘The Sash’ and ‘The Steamie’.

The Pavilion Theatre is now the only privately run theatre in Scotland and one of a few unsubsidised independent theatres left in Britain.

“Defying all the odds, Glasgow’s Pavilion regularly purveys variety to this day. All the more remarkable as it is completely unsubsidised and receives no funding from the Scottish Arts Council and kindred bodies whose thoughts and cash are directed at higher cultural activities. It remains the last stronghold of a long music hall tradition in Europe’s City of Culture owing everything to a dedicated staff and patrons and nothing to the public purse.

With its imposing terra cotta facade, the Pavilion Theatre of Varieties was designed by Bertie Crewe in the grand manner for Thomas Barrasford. The domed ceiling was surmounted by an electrically controlled sliding roof for ventilation. Fine Rococo plasterwork on the circle, balcony and box fronts; decoration executed in pure Louis XV; handsome mahogany woodwork and the marble mosaic floor all lent the 1800 seat theatre an aura of splendour.

No less amusing than the dentist advertising in the Pavilion programme “painless extractions with nitrous oxide for 4/- (20p) or cocaine for 1/- (5p)”, were the press observations on the “fashionable company” which attended the Pavilion’s first house on 29th February,1904. We learn that “among the elite there was quite a preponderance of ladies and gentlemen of quality in evening dress”. Alas, class consciousness and respectability were all in Edwardian Britain!

The ‘forties and ‘fifties saw pantomime runs of sixteen weeks, the happy and hilarious summer seasons were emulated during the 1960s and early 1970s by Lex McLean. Another regular crowd puller to Renfield Street was Jack Milroy.

Lulu from Dennistoun (real name Marie Lawrie) broke box office records in 1975, Billy Connolly, Hector Nicol Andy Cameron portrayed their own distinctive brands of humour while Scottish songstresses Lena Zavaroni, , Sheena Easton, Lena Martell and Barbara Dickson also scored heavily with Pavilion audiences.

It was anything but plain sailing for the Pavilion and there was gloomy speculation of closure after incurring heavy financial losses in 1981. Spared the fate which befell the Queens, Metropole, Empire, Alhambra and Empress Theatres, the 80 years old Pavilion was rescued by James Glasgow and transformed into a modest profit maker. Smash-hit shows with Sydney Devine; spells from hypnotist Robert Halpern; pantomime with Denny Willis, and one night gigs from the foremost modern television entertainers have kept the cash tills registering.

The Pavilion also played a major role in the annual Mayfest – Glasgow’s International Festival of popular theatre, music, the arts and community programmes.

Little altered and virtually unspoilt since its inception, the seating capacity of 1449 is made up of 677 stalls, 341 circle, 413 balcony and 18 box seats. While the stiff shirts in chauffeur-driven cabs have given way to coach parties from the rural areas of Strathclyde and beyond, a policy of providing the best in live entertainment has been pursued consistently. The portents look good for the vibrant Pavilion Theatre of Varieties.”

The Pavillion is, in my view a survivor, even over the past few years tragedy has struck the area with a series of fires.

[toppyflygon]

Welsh Pilot Willis Easton taking on a Albatros C Ill- sometime in early 1917 recolourize

Hi yes I'm still alive with Art!

I been in the mood to draw planes lately and try to improve on drawing biplane in complicated angles?!? Regardless ik actual really happy with how how this turn out

[godsaveforum]

TUMBLR | AMBIENTACIÓN | GRUPOS

Abrimos la lista de reservas de faceclaim. La misma será actualizada  constantemente hasta la apertura del foro.

Recordamos que la reserva será por llegada de mensaje así que les pedimos que controlen bien cuales son los PB que ya han sido reservados.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson — High

Abigail Cowen — missmyowndream

Adelaide Kane — leire

Andrea Damante — Mr T.

Agustín Bernasconi — Shishoska

Alan Ritchson — Almaespada

Alina Olesheva — Xenia

Allissa Salls — Cyro

Alycia Debnam-Carey — Galadriel

Amelie Zilber — Khaleeliz

Ana de Armas — Beth

Anabelle Wallis — acinderellastory

Andy Blossom — Perséfone

Angelina Michelle — Miel

Anna Zak — Hécate

Arthur Benedetti — shiker

Bar Zomer — Lost

Ben Barnes — Khaleeliz

Ben Dahlhaus — Shishoska

Brock O’Hurn — Thor

Carolina Moura — Elena

Charleen Weiss — Magdalena

Chris Evans — Mr.Sin

Chris Pratt — ScarletGuy

Chris Hemsworth — Lawson

Cindy Kimberly — Luna

Cole Sprouse — kattokoshmar-blog

Constance Dominik — Perséfone

Davey Fisher — Dr. C

Do KyungSoo — Carpincho

Dua Lipa — Khaleeliz

Eden Fines — Gotita

Elizabeth Olsen — Galadriel

Elliot Page — kattokoshmar-blog

Emilia Mernes — Shishoska

Emily Blunt — Moony

Emily Carey — Carpincho

Emily Ratajkowski — Ritsu

Emma Watson — El Sensei

Federico Cola — Beth

Gal Gadot — butterfly

Grey Damon — OnAir

Han So-hee — Athena

Hande Ercel — Coonie

Hanna Edwinson — Rose

Henry Cavill — Galadriel

Herman Tømmeraas — K.

Jacob Elordi — Laurificacion

Jake Gyllenhaal — Toffee

Jean Carlo León (jashlem) — Hana

Jensen Ackles — Perséfone

Jessy Hartel — Harrington

John Krasinski — Lighting

Jonathan Bailey — El Sensei

Josie Lane — withmew

Kailee Morgue — Tested

Ken Bek — Red Ranger

Kennedy Walsh — Carpincho

Kerem Bursin — Mr.Sin

Kwon Ji Yong — Piruleta

Lily Collins — Kaz

Lily Easton — Pinky

Lily James — gilmoregirl

Liza Weidmann — Elena

Lucas Jade Zumann — Hacker

Lucy Boynton — Bo Peep

Lusya Abramovskaya — Hana

Madelaine Petsch — Xenia

Maia Reficco — Clover

Maks Behr — poseidón

Margot Robbie — Laurificacion

Marissa Long — Harrington

Mathew Daddario — Blossom

Michael Yerger — Pikachu

Nicki Nicole — Beth

Nicola Porcella — Darkish

Noah Centineo — Astro

Oliver Stark — kattokoshmar-blog

Pedro Pascal — Karmela

Phoeve Dnyevor — OnAir

Richard Madden — Theo

Romaneinnc — lunita

Ryan Gosling — Dopesmoker

Ryan Guzman — Blossom

Sadie Sink — Obsidian

Scarlett Leithold — Blossom

Sebastian Stan — Themuffinman

Sergio Carvajal — Xenia

Sienna Raine Schmid — Fallen

Stefania Spampinato — OnAir

Stephen James — Conejito

Sophie Thatcher — safismística

Sydney Sweeney — muñeca vudú

Thomas Doherty — Coryo

Tobias Reuter — poseidón

Tom Hardy — Dr. C

Tyler Hoechlin — El Sensei

Vanessa Kirby — leire

Victoria Bronova — Laurificacion

Victor Pérez — PikachuPaldeano

Vinnie Hacker — Soul

Vladislav Gerasimov — Dimitri

Willy Whey — Hana

Yael Shelbia — elizabeth

Zoe Kravitz — Karmela

[nancypullen]

Whatcha' Doing?

I eased into Sunday morning (that reminds me of a Lionel Richie song) and plan to spend the day doing as I please. The house is mostly clean. I could mop, but why would I? I need to dust in our bedroom, but what's one more day? I'm declaring this a day of rest and relaxation. I may toodle into Easton and treat myself to a lipstick at Ulta or hit the Target Halloween section and see what needs to come home with me. Or maybe not. I'm feeling lazy. I'm also feeling frugal- do I need a new lipstick? No. Do I need Halloween decor? Well, yes, but I won't die without it. It would just make me very, very happy. Better stay home. We'll probably go walk through the auction house and see what treasures are on the block this week. I saw this pretty cupboard on their website. It would be nice in the grandgirl's room but I'd have to get rid of her reading fort to make space and she's not ready for that. I'll let someone else love it.

Speaking of loving things, I'm still in a one-sided romance with my pumpkin plants. They look so healthy and beautiful and I just know they'll break my heart. According to experts, this stuff is a must.

I've grown pumpkins successfully in the past without using it, but I'm not taking any chances this year. Yesterday I gave them all a good drink and marked the calendar. I'll do that every two weeks as instructed, and send a plea to the universe to give me pumpkins. Once there are blooms I'll probably have to get out there with a paintbrush and pollinate them myself. If these things fail it won't be from lack of effort on my part.

Lack of effort....that made me think of my hair. It always comes back to my hair, doesn't it? *sigh* After getting several inches cut off a couple of weeks ago I keep hearing, "It must be easier." No, it's not. My hair is never easy to beat into submission. In fact, length and weight make it slightly easier. Without weight my hair springs into action, ready to fight me. Losing a lot of hair does make my drying time a bit shorter, so I like that. I'm okay with it at this point, but I'll never be in love with my hair. Having said all of that, and accepting that it is what it is, I had a moment on Friday evening that made me want to shave my head. I was invited to dinner with a group of women that I like. They range in age from late twenties to mid-sixties. We cover every bit of the maiden-mother-crone span. I can't say that I have a lot in common with any of them, but there's something to like about each and every one. I was comfortable, relaxed, having a nice time...when someone mentioned my haircut. I agreed that, yes, I'd taken off a lot of length (every woman there has long hair) and that I've decided to stop coloring. One exclaimed that now I look like Paula Deen and they all agreed.

Paula. Deen. I'm not knocking her, I just don't want to look like her. The sad part is that I think they're right.

I just can't win at this hair game, y'all. Did I mention that not one, not two, but three different library patrons told me that I remind them of Dolly Parton? I just don't see it. A large bust and a massive amount of blond hair, sure -but not a single similar feature otherwise. I love Dolly, but I do not swan around town in sequined jumpsuits with my hair teased to the heavens. Why would anyone say that? Prior to getting my hair cut I entertained the thought that I'd just let it get even longer and spend the rest of my years with a long white braid. I'll bet if I did that people would tell me I'm a dead ringer for Willie Nelson.

Not gonna' lie, I think I look more like Willie than Paula. Maybe folks should just keep their unflattering comments to themselves. There's a thought. From auctions to pumpkins to hair, once again I've taken you on a tour of the construction zone that is my brain. Piles of rubble, some stuff half finished, but there's always a plan. A loose plan, and subject to change, but still a plan. Before I wrap up this nonsense, I'll share what I'm reading. Haven't done that in ages and so far this book is interesting enough to share. I say "so far" because I'm only a couple of chapters in.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR SO FAR FOR 2024 BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW • A “thrilling and superbly crafted” (The Wall Street Journal) account of the most momentous voyage of the Age of Exploration, which culminated in Captain James Cook’s death in Hawaii, and left a complex and controversial legacy still debated to this day. “Hampton Sides, an acclaimed master of the nonfiction narrative, has taken on Cook’s story and retells it for the 21st century.”—Los Angeles Times

I really enjoy non-fiction and I'm sometimes embarrassed by what I don't know, or should have already learned. This is a fascinating account of someone we've all heard of, read about, but I had stored away only basic facts in my brain. Very interesting! This is where I'll leave you. It's time for a little Sunday lunch and then we'll mosey over to the auction house. Hope I find treasure. I'm sending out loads of love and wishing you a relaxing and peaceful Sunday. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[sergeifyodorov]

I'm sick of oilers fans complaining about darnell nurse. It'd be so funny if tre somehow traded JT and Kämpf for nurse. Willy gets captain, mitch moves to d, cam talbot signs for $2 million, easton Cowan wins the Calder, and the leafs go on a 2025 cup run

What makes you think Nurse is worth his contract??

... what makes you think willy would be named captain??????????

[toongrrl-blog]

Time Makes You Bolder Soundtrack

"Landslide" Fleetwood Mac.

"Wedding Bell Blues" Laura Nyro or The Fifth Dimension.

"Poetry In Motion" Johnny Tillotson.

"Always On My Mind" Brenda Lee or Willie Nelson or The Pet Shop Boys or Elvis Presley.

"You Don't Mess Around With Jim" Jim Croce.

"Shaft" Issac Hayes.

"Uncle Fucka" Terrance & Philip (Trey Parker and Matt Stone).

"Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bitch" Cartman (Trey Parker).

"Comedy Tonight" Zero Mostel and Company.

"Love is Strange" Mickey & Sylvia.

"Boys Like You" Kids at Midnight.

"Rapture" Blondie.

"Celebration" Kool & the Gang.

"It's A Small World After All" Sherman Bros joint.

"Don't Give Up On Us Baby" David Soul.

"Cherish" Association.

"Baby I Lied" Tracey Ullman.

"So This Is Love?" Ilene Woods and Mike Douglas.

"Labour" Paris Paloma.

"Venus" Frankie Avalon.

"You Can Leave Your Hat On" Joe Cocker.

"Dumb Ways To Die" Tangerine Kitty.

"Strut" Sheena Easton.

"Goin' Back" Goldie & the Gingerbreads.

"Dude Looks Like A Lady" Aerosmith.

"Surrender" Cheap Trick.

[rubyloops]

i love concerts because i get to wear my willy easton shoes

[newcountryradio]

New Country 27e jaargang  #T1257 (S816) (C57) van 2 december 2024  (wk 49) uitzending op Smelne fm & Crossroads Country Radio

Album van de week: Ella Langley - Still Hungover     

Classic album:  Time Well Wasted,- Brad Paisley  (2006)

Hits of the Year : 2016

Maandfavoriet : Hudson Westbrook – Pray Your Name       

Maandartiest : Bellamy Brothers  

 

Bellamy Brothers -If I Said You Have A Beautiful Body Would You Hold it Against Me        

George Strait – The Big One      30 jaar   

Clint Black with Lisa Hartman Black- When I Said I do     25 jaar                   

Easton Corbin – Real Good Country Song  

Jesse Daniel /Benjamin Todd -  A Few Good Ole Country Boys .

Kashus Culpepper – Pour Me Out

Luke Bryan – Country Song Came On  nw 59

Blake Shelton – Texas nw 16

Jelly Roll – I Am Not Okay      #1

Ella Langley – Hungover .   *Album vd week

Ella Langley . I Blame The Bar     Album vd week

Garth Brooks – To Make You Feel My Love   *Entertainer 1997

Artists Of Then, Now and Forever – Forever Country         2016

Randy Travis – Three Wooden Crosses.

Brooks & Dunn – My Next Broken Heart 

Hudson Westbrook – Pray Your Name     . favoriet 

Chase Rice – Hey God It’s Me Again  ( (sofi )  

Brad Paisley – The World

Brad Paisley – When I Get Where I’m Going  (classic album )

Secret Sisters -   All the Ways (feat. Ray LaMontagne)

Pernice Brothers – The Purple Rain -

Ronnie McDowell – Wandering Eyes .   (3 in 1) 

Ronnie McDowell – Older Women

Ronnie McDowell – You’re Gonna Ruin My Bad Reputation

Ella Langley - You Look Like You Love Me Cd vd week

The Heartstrings Hometown Holiday.

Charlie Worsham -  The Beginning Of Things    .

Morgan Wallen - Tennessee Fan   Album #1

Anne Murray – Just Fall In Love Again

Hank Williams jr -  Something to Believe In

Merle Haggard _Truck Driver's Blues.        Truck song

Bellamy Brothers – Dancin’ Cowboys

Ashley McBryde - Help Me Make It Through The Night  juweeltje

Brooks & Dunn w/Jelly Roll – Believe     vw

Ella Langley – Cowgirl  Don’t Cry  (Album vd week)

Billy Strings – Gild The  Lilly  

Willie Nelson – -Lost Cause         

Miranda Lambert. - Storms Never Last   

No Saint – Sweet Lady May  . dutch

Sandra Vanreys  - Broken  

Florida Georgia Line – H.O.L.I    #5  2016

Keith Urban – Blue Ain’t Your Color  #4 2016

Tim McGraw – Humble And Kind    #3  

Dierks Bentley Somewhere On A Beach #2 2016

Cole Swindell – You Should be Here   #1 2016

[xiiotro]

New Eastonhead just dropped⁉️ Welcome to our family of ~10 people

i luv willy wacker easton 🙏

[signalwatch]

Holiday Watch: Santa Claus - The Movie (1985)

Watched:  12/8/2023

Format:  Amazon

Viewing:  First

Director: Jeannot Szward  

Even as a kid, when I saw the trailer for this movie and it looked a little suspicious to me. I don't know what it says that a kid pretty game for whatever looked at this and was like "nah", but I think that gut instinct was dead on.   I would have been 10 when this hit, so I wasn't really the audience, anyway - just old enough to not want to see "a kiddie movie", but it looked like schlock to me at that age, and I just had no interest.  

Apparently neither did Planet Earth, because the movie made about $23 million against an estimated budget between $30 and 50 million.

Flash forward to 2023, and we put this one on and a whole bunch of things became clear immediately.

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) was produced by the Salkinds, the same shady guys who put together the first three Superman films and Supergirl.  They have their name up there first and foremost, so you know this is an Alexander Salkind joint.  And if you know anything about the Salkinds you know that if you're ethically a little shaky, these are your guys.  

They know how to capture star power, get amazing effects done and make a big, splashy movie.  They also have no concept of what makes a movie actually work, in favor of just hiring big name talent and hoping for the best.  After all, as far as they were concerned, this is what made Superman I and II work.  Not Richard Donner and Tom Mankiewicz pulling everything together, rewriting the script and making it a coherent movie after drafts from Mario Puzo and the David and Leslie Newman creative dream team.  And they know how to do it while lining their pockets and screwing everyone else.

Well, we have the Newman's back and writing, and boy howdy, is it ever the Newmans.  Unfunny jokes that they go back to over and over (and over), incredibly broad characters and a certain hokey "we're putting on a show" writing style.*  But they came by it honestly - David Newman was partially responsible for Broadway shows like It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman.  Which, if you've ever seen it (and I have) is a meandering mess of a show where they pursued every wrong instinct polite society had about how to deal with genre media.

The Salkinds also brought in director Jeannot Szward, who directed Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which makes sense on paper!  He managed to make a classic out of a weird movie about a guy and his factory producing fun stuff for kids.  And they have a score by no less than Henry Mancini and a "hit" single at the end performed by Sheena Easton.**  And, of course, Dudley Moore is our star casting, alongside a blowing up John Lithgow, just off Footloose and a string of hits (I wrongly thought Blow Out was 1984, it's 1981).  Santa is played by The Big Lebowksi's David Huddleston, and Mrs. Claus by Judy Cornwell that only anglophiles will recognize.  Burgess Meredith pops up for no reason.  

So, you can see the thinking.  We have all the elements: can't fail.  Worked for Superman.  

And then they proceed to put forth a clearly wildly expensive, absolutely boring movie that takes a good hour to really get going.  

Basically, we start with Mr. and Mrs. Claus as mere mortals who freeze to death on Christmas Eve, and are resurrected to go live with a cult.  They are treated well, but told "now you will deliver all of these toys we make" which Santa is kind of game for, I guess.  But he has little to no agency - he is literally pressed into service.

The factory, by the way, is an amazing set that makes the Fortress of Solitude look like a hack job.  It's a multi-tiered, all-wood environment with moving parts and covered in toys, elves and colorful detail.  In addition to the expansive environs of the film, the impeccable costuming, all of the effects are fairly top-tier for 1985.  Clearly the Salkinds knew to borrow the flying effects from Superman, perhaps made easier when you can put Santa in a sleigh instead of a harness, but it seems to be a pretty similar set-up.  There are also muppet reindeer that have personality and are part of the story.  And, plenty of optical effects.

Plotwise - it's unclear WHY the elves were already making toys or have this factory.  They say it feels good to give toys away, but they've never done it as far as I can tell.  After all, they have a warehouse full of them.  But they do have reindeer, magical flying powder (more on that later), and an agenda.  So, much as Superman has a lengthy opening sequence, including Krypton and Smallville sequences, as well as the Fortress stuff, this movie thinks Santa needs all that.

He does not.

We're a good hour into this movie before anything like a plot kicks in.  Which is not really how Superman works, but I can see how the mistake was made.  In Superman, you don't see Clark turn into Superman til way, way into the movie, but... plenty occurs with comedy and tragedy and plot tension in that first hour, but not here.  Santa just kind of bumblefucks his way into becoming the Santa we know, including spending *centuries* as the jolly gift-giver before looking at naughty children and  thinking "fuck them kids", taking away their gifts.  With no forewarning, by the way.  

Our plot that eventually surfaces is when Santa (a) promotes his tinkerer pal, Patch (Moore) to be his assistant to help out as the world population explodes.  (b) Patch innovates with an assemblyline, which obviously makes worse toys than by-hand toys.  (c) Those toys suck and break.  (d) People decide the man giving them free toys is a loser after centuries of success.  (e)  John Lithgow plays Dan Aykroyd's character from SNL who sells very dangerous and defective toys.  (f)  Patch goes to work for him after getting demoted and thus leaving the North Pole. (g)  Patch puts cocaine

 magic flying powder into lollipops and hooks kids on the "first one's free" scheme.  (h) Santa immediately wants to quit.

I haven't mentioned the two kids in the film, the very post 1970-streetsmart homeless kid with a bit of a NY accent and then the cherubic girl who lives in a mansion in Manhattan and feeds the homeless kid (successfully, and daily, because no one is paying attention to what this girl is doing).  

Santa meets "Joe" on Christmas Eve and flies him around, but does nothing else for him.  I mean, Santa seems like he could have done *something* to help out this kid, but he just peaces out and is like "see you next year".  Santa, that kid is going to have moved on or be dead.  Meanwhile, turns out Cornelia's uncle is John Lithgow.  

There are incredibly long scenes between Lithgow and Moore that feel like extended cuts of stuff the Salkinds thought worked between Luthor and Otis, but they forgot how Miss Tessmacher provided daffy balance.  Or didn't know.  But, my god, all of it just drags.

And that's the weird thing.  This movie is a full two hours because Act 1 takes an hour.  But when we get to Act 2, no one puts their foot on the gas.  The pacing is murder.  

For all the sets (which are also weirdly and uniformly dark) and costuming and money thrown at this thing, and what feels like thought put into creating a lore for Santa, no one seems to have a feel for what kind of movie this is.  It's not funny despite featuring Dudley Moore, who often seems kind of sad.  It's not upbeat or quirky.  It kind of just keeps happening with sort of joke-shaped moments occurring.  

And, most bizarre, the movie ends not on a December 24th, but in late March, on the recently deployed "Christmas 2", come up with by Lithgow's character to sell more cocaine

 lollipops that allow kids to fly and which, it turns out, will explode violently if placed near a heat source.  

The movie ends with Santa saving Dudley Moore and Joe, there's a pointless bit about missing two reindeer, and the last moment of the movie is Lithgow disappearing into space to die after ingesting too many lollipops as he runs from the cops.  

Christmas.

Look, I've watched some real shit bombs this Christmas, and this one is not the worst, but it sure was trying.  And, most offensively, it was so expensive.  It's a testament to the two most essential things in a film really being a script you can work with and that goes somewhere, and an editor who can try to craft something coherent from whatever wobbling pile they're handed.

The casting of Dudley Moore, famous at this point for playing everyone's favorite raging alcoholic, was weird.  He was oriented to movies for grown-ups, and as a ten-year-old, I remember thinking "that's odd casting" even if I couldn't put my finger on why.  And he's not bad, but he just seems kind of depressed through the whole movie, which was a choice, I guess.  And aside from "Joe", the performances are mostly fine.  And Joe is fine.  He's just... doing the bit in the movie that folks decided had to be in movies for kids until Goonies.  

If there's one note about the visuals, it's weird how old this looks and how much like a modern movie Scrooged looks, coming just a few years later.

For decades I'd been told "not worth it", and, by gum, those friends were just trying to help me.

Anyway, here's Sheena Easton's song.  Try to remember that Sheena Easton is very, very good looking before judging her too harshly.

*there's probably a fascinating career retrospective one could do about the Newmans, because they kind of Forrest Gumped their way through Hollywood as near as I can tell.

**rawr

[abcnewspr]

ABC NEWS STUDIOS AND LA TIMES STUDIOS PRESENT ‘THE RANDALL SCANDAL: LOVE, LOATHING, AND VANDERPUMP’ ― AN INVESTIGATION INTO THE EXPLOSIVE ALLEGATIONS AGAINST MOVIE MOGUL RANDALL EMMETT

The 90-Minute Documentary Features Special Access to Interview Footage of Emmett’s Ex-Fiancé, ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Star Lala Kent, and Exclusive Interviews With Kent’s Mother and Brother, Past Employees of Emmett and More

‘The Randall Scandal: Love, Loathing, and Vanderpump’ Begins Streaming Monday, May 22, Only on Hulu

ABC News Studios*

Bravo’s hit reality show “Vanderpump Rules” has been involved in scandal after scandal, but none more serious than the explosive allegations against movie mogul Randall Emmett, who rose to fame on the heels of his engagement to Bravo megastar Lala Kent. ABC News Studios and LA Times Studios present “The Randall Scandal: Love, Loathing, and Vanderpump,” an investigation into many of the shocking claims against Emmett, which include allegations of race discrimination, workplace abuse, and questionable on-set behavior towards actor Bruce Willis as his mental acuity declined ― all of which Emmett denies. The 90-minute documentary features special access to interview footage of Kent, who opens up about her tumultuous relationship with Emmett and how she learned about the accusations against her ex-fiancé. “The Randall Scandal: Love, Loathing, and Vanderpump” also includes exclusive interviews with those closest to Kent, including Lisa and Easton Burningham, her mother and brother, who describe alarming, never-before-told claims of Emmett’s alleged mistreatment towards Kent, exclusively recount what they regard as Emmett’s disturbing behavior when Kent gave birth to their daughter, and Kent’s escape from their shared home.

Additional exclusive interviews include Felix Pire, Emmett’s high school friend; Brett Pearson, Martin G’Blae and Anna Szymanska, Emmett’s former assistants who claim the filmmaker subjected them to verbal abuse and workplace harassment; Teresa Huang, a TV writer; Leila Azari, a lawyer for Writers Guild of America West and more. Additional interviews include L.A. Times reporters Amy Kaufman and Meg James, whose investigation “The Man Who Played Hollywood: Inside Randall Emmett’s Crumbling Empire” revealed lawsuits, debts and allegations of abuse against women, assistants and business partners facing Emmett; Matt Belloni, founding partner of Puck News; Heather McDonald, comedian and podcast host; David Yontef, pop culture podcast host; and Alicia Haverland, prop master for Emmet’s film “Midnight in the Switchgrass,” which starred Bruce Willis. “The Randall Scandal: Love, Loathing, and Vanderpump” begins streaming Monday, May 22, only on Hulu.

“The Randall Scandal: Love, Loathing, and Vanderpump” is produced for Hulu by ABC News Studios in collaboration with LA Times Studios. John Henshaw and Victoria Thompson are executive producers, Maura Mitchell is co-executive producer, Jake Lefferman is supervising producer, and David Sloan is senior executive producer for ABC News Studios. ABC News Studios is led by Mike Kelley. Kevin Merida, Chris Argentieri, Shani Hilton, Maurice James and Leslie Lindsey are executive producers for LA Times Studios. 

ABOUT ABC NEWS STUDIOS

ABC News Studios, inspired by ABC News’ trusted reporting, is a premium, narrative non-fiction original production house and commissioning partner of series and specials. ABC News Studios champions untold and authentic stories driving the cultural zeitgeist spanning true-crime, investigations, pop culture and news-adjacent stories. ABC News Studios’ original titles include critically acclaimed documentaries “Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields,” “The Lady Bird Diaries,” “Aftershock” and “The Murders Before the Marathon” as well as compelling docu-series, including “Killing County,” “Wild Crime,” “Death in the Dorms” and “Mormon No More.”

ABOUT LA TIMES STUDIOS

LA Times Studios, a division of California Times, produces a variety of critically acclaimed audio, video and live event projects. We develop projects that are grounded in editorial integrity and driven by the power of storytelling. We collaborate with a variety of partners, internally and externally, on both original productions and branded entertainment. The Studios group is platform-agnostic and pursues compelling narratives and conversations across a variety of media.

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