#will they fire me or i resign first who knows
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duoduotian · 2 years ago
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when the file said i’d need to bring my educational certs from my employer i did not think it was referring to my sch ones bc how was school my employer...
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thelonelyjew · 5 months ago
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Pride banned Jews?!?
So it's that time of year again that I see people circulating stuff that is completely fabricated about what they imagine happened at Chicago Dyke March in 2017.
First, Dyke March is not Pride. It is not meant to be apolitical or single-issue. It is explicitly anti-imperialist, anticapitalist, and, yes, antizionist. It's not the big mainstream pride Parade that has corporate sponsors (and ads for gay tourism in Israel), it's a small radical grassroots demonstration.
Ok now that that's out of the way, they did not "ban Jews". I was there. They did not "ban Jewish symbols". They did not ask anyone to leave because of their Jewish pride flag.
What actually happened was three women who turned out to be employed by Israeli pinkwashing operation A Wider Bridge participated in the march with a rainbow flag that featured a blue star of david in the center. I remember seeing it and disliking it bc it gave me Zionist vibes but neither I nor anyone else bothered them about it.
After the march there was a cookout in the park. The women were asked to leave by a Jewish member of the Dyke March Collective after several hours of hanging out at the cookout because they were harassing other marchgoers.
Immediately publications like Forward, Tablet, JTA, as well as more mainstream publications started running stories making wild untrue claims which you can still read if you Google it because none of these were ever corrected or retracted. It's clear that these AWB agents had press releases pre-written and ready to fire as soon as they managed to provoke any reaction that they could spin into a controversy.
The photos that ran along with these headlines were also misleading. One of them showed a photo of a rainbow flag with a white star in the center. The star on the flag I saw was blue, and the shade of the star has specific political connotations. Showing a different flag with the politically significant color removed is extremely misleading. The one that was carried in the march (and which, again, wasn't banned!) looked like this:
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Another banner image, this one in a New York Times article, showed a young woman with dark curly hair holding a sign that says "this is who we are". She was clearly chosen to feature because of her stereotypically Jewish features. The article implies that she is one of the supposedly banned Jews. This is false. You know how I know? Bc that was the friend I was there with that day! She does not identify as Jewish, she looks like that bc she is Italian, and she had no idea she was being photographed!
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I had a hat decorated with red and black stars of David, and the following year a bunch of us wore Workers Circle sashes with Yiddish text (which uses the Hebrew alphabet) as well. No one who wasn't employed by a Zionist organization was asked to leave or even questioned about anything related to Zionism or Jewish identity.
I'm resigning myself to the fact that this is going to get dug up and passed around every year and people will believe what they want to believe, but if you hear claims that some queer group "banned Jews" or something similar, please look at the source for the information and if possible try to talk to actual Jewish people who participate in the community events being discussed. And if you hear this about Chicago Dyke March in specific, please correct people. I feel like I'm going insane when this many people are insisting that what I saw and experienced wasn't real and pointing to the barrage of misleading articles as what I should believe over my own experiences.
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waytootiredstudent · 4 days ago
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Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:
The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.
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The longer version?
Okay so, groundwork first:
in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.
So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy
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You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.
(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)
What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"
Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).
Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.
The finance minister has also now been fired.
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You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.
And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:
(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)
And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.
Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.
....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)
Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:
So. Trump is president. Fuck.
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Lindner got fired! Yaaay!
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Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.
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Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.
Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)
So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.
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Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.
Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?
There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.
He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.
In the current climate.
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So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.
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sluttyten · 1 month ago
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The Devil in Me
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Kinktober Day 9 | Haechan Masterlist | Member Masterlist
tags: loss of virginity, first time, oral sex, marking, biting, possessive/protective Haechan, mentions of human sacrifice, demons, a lot softer/romantic than it sounds
length: 8293
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Maybe you should have heeded the warnings of your friends and family, but you’d thought it was all just a bit of small-mindedness and prejudice. 
When you started seeing a guy who was a loud and proud satanist, your friends and family had all told you that he would be bad news. But you’d done some research into the belief system of satanists, and it wasn’t inherently evil, as they all seemed to believe. And you liked this guy, he was charming and handsome and he spoke to you like you were his everything, that you were someone special to him. 
And now, in your present position, you can see that you were in fact someone special to him. 
You were his virgin sacrifice. 
It had been a mistake to tell him that you were a virgin. You could’ve fed him some other excuse for why you didn’t want to have sex, but you’d gone with the truth. And now look where it got you. 
He’d brought you out into the woods on the premise of a night hike, stargazing, camping and keeping each other warm beside a campfire. But now you were strapped to a wooden table in the middle of a circle of fire in the woods, and he was pacing in circles around you, chanting words and drawing symbols on his bare chest in either red paint or some kind of blood. 
He’d already given you the evil villain speech. This was a ritual to summon a demon he’d read about — a chaos demon who could grant him wealth and talent by stealing it from others. He was going to sacrifice you and blah blah blah. You’d stopped listening after a while. The straps on your wrists were so tight that you were losing feeling in your fingertips. Your ankles were tied down too, and you could see no way out of this, resigned to your fate. 
All you know is that if he kills you, you’re going to haunt the shit out of him. 
When he stops his pacing, when the chanting slows, you close your eyes and send a prayer out to anyone listening to save you. 
The asshole teases you with your own death. He trails his hunting knife from your neck down between your breasts, slicing apart your shirt as he goes. 
Your shirt falls open, and he returns the blade to your throat. You refuse to make a sound, you refuse to give him the satisfaction of hearing you cry out. 
“Look at me!” He yells, his hand gripping your chin. “I want you to watch.”
Your eyes fly open, and you stare this asshole in the eye, putting as much hatred and vitriol in your gaze as you can. 
He grins, trailing the knife lower, and with a flick of his wrist, he gives you a shallow cut just above your left breast. You can see the first drops of your blood well up to the surface. His eyes light up, the chant falling from his lips again as he lifts his hand and the blade, drawing them up into the air over the center of your chest. 
He’s going to plunge it into your heart, that’s something he said during his monologue. 
You suck in a breath, watching his hand, watching the moonlight glint off the blade. 
He swings. 
And a tan hand curls around his wrist, halting the movement. 
“I don’t think so,” a smooth voice says. 
You watch the hand on your would-be murderer’s wrist. The hand guides his, redirecting the path of his blade, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the blade draws across his throat. You try to tune out the wet choking sound as your would-be murderer collapses, as he pulls himself away through the grass and the brush, as he dies the ugly death he would have given to you. 
You open your eyes when you can no longer hear him struggling to survive, and you see before you a beautiful, beautiful demon. 
His eyes glow a deep red. Two black horns stick out from his black hair. Ragged black wings jut out from his shoulders. And he’s beautiful. Devastatingly handsome. 
The summoning ritual worked. 
The fight for survival comes racing back through you, and you jerk against your bonds, crying out, screaming for help. You’ll not have your soul taken by a demon. That’s not happening tonight!
“Don’t be afraid,” he says calmly, “I’m not here to hurt you.”
With a wave of his hand, the bonds on your wrists snap, your ankles suddenly are freed as well. You sit up, clutching at the sides of your shirt to pull them together over your chest. The demon looks at you, and then turns his head to the side towards where you last heard that bastard's dying breaths fade away. 
“Some humans are real assholes, yknow?” The demon says, still not looking at you. “They think we all want sacrifices, which, don’t get me wrong, they can be nice from time to time, but we don’t demand the murder of virgins. We certainly don’t demand unwilling pretty women be murdered in the woods.”
He spits towards what you can only assume is the dead body of your would-be murderer. And then the demon looks back at you, eyes aglow. 
“I’m Haechan,” he introduces himself, holding his hand out to you. “But you can call me Donghyeok.” 
You hesitate for a moment, uncertain if you should give him your name or shake his hand. You feel like you’ve heard stories about how bad doing either of those things could be. But in the end, it’s the way that the corner of his mouth tilts up as he watches you that convinces you. 
You put your hand in his, and you give him your name. 
Donghyeok lifts your hand, brushing his lips across your knuckles. “Pleased to have saved you.” 
Your pulse throbs in your veins, pounding in your ears. 
An actual demon is holding your hand, standing before you smelling like sea air and citrus rather than the burning brimstone stories would have you believe. Donghyeok lowers your hand, and you pull it back into your lap. 
“That guy seemed like a dick.” Donghyeok turns away, shaking his wings as he walks over to the nearest flickering ground torch. He continues talking while he extinguishes that torch, saying, “Very bossy in his summoning chant. I probably would’ve ended up killing him even if he wasn’t trying to murder you. How did you end up here, anyway?”
“I was stupid.” You droop forward, hanging your head as you look down at your knees. “I let him trick me into thinking he was a good guy despite all the warnings from everyone around me. I thought they were just prejudiced since he was a Satanist, but they were right.” You risk a glance in Donghyeok’s direction. “I shouldn’t have ever told him I’m a virgin, I was basically just asking to get sacrificed in a demonic ritual.”
Donghyeok’s wings flare as he turns to look at you. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever blame yourself for the actions of a stupid man. He is the one that did this, not you.” 
He extinguishes two more torches before either of you speak again. 
“Virgin sacrifices don’t actually mean, like sexual virginity, yknow?” Donghyeok says, his back facing you while he puts out another torch. Now only four of them remain lit in the circle. “It’s virgin blood. Blood that’s never been used for a ritual before. As soon as he cut you, I felt the call, and I saw what he was going to do to you. I’m tired of men killing women with the excuse of summoning me. I just require a few drops of blood to be spilled, not a life taken.”
Donghyeok waves his wings, and three more torches flicker out, leaving just one glowing right in front of you, providing just enough light to see by as Donghyeok strides back to you. His bloody red eyes sweep over you from head to toe. 
“What are you going to do to me?” You can tell your voice is small, nearly lost in the whisper of wind through the trees. But Donghyeok hears, and he cocks his head slightly to the side to watch you. 
“Haven’t you been listening?” He reaches up, snapping his fingers together and drawing a handkerchief out of thin air. “I’m not here to do anything to you. I came to rescue you from that asshole, and now you’re free.” He holds the handkerchief out to you. 
“So you’re just going to leave me here?” You accept the silky white cloth, and you find one corner of it embroidered with flowy script — LDH, it says, and you run your thumb over the fine threads making up the letters. 
“I didn’t say I was leaving you.” He smiles, and again, your pulse thunders. “We can go, or we can stay here and have sex.”
A squawk of surprise and indignation leaves you, which makes Donghyeok laugh. And fuck, you thought he was beautiful before, the sight and sound of his genuine laughter makes him even more beautiful. 
“I’m joking!” He keeps laughing, his shoulders shaking as he tries to hold it in while he speaks, “But I can get you out of here in a snap so you don’t have to hike back through these woods in the dark.” 
“Please!” You reach out, grabbing both of his hands, holding them between yours. “Please, get me out of here.”
Donghyeok’s expression goes serious. “I will, I promise. And what about him?” 
You begin to turn your head to look, but you change your mind, keeping your gaze fixed on this beautiful demon. You shake your head. “Leave him. The police can deal with him, I’ll report the crime when I get back to town.”
Donghyeok watches you for a moment, contemplating something. Then he shrugs, holds tighter to your hands, and you feel a tug behind your navel. 
The scenery around you has changed.
You’re still in the woods, but just at the edge of it. You can see the lights of town just ahead through the trunks. 
“Here, let’s at least make it look like you’ve run back here.” Donghyeok crouches down, filling his hand with soft dirt. “May I?”
You’re not entirely sure what you’re agreeing to, but you nod. Immediately, Donghyeok is touching you, spreading dirt over your clothes, a smear of mud along the torn open edge of your shirt. He runs his fingers through your hair (which shouldn’t feel as good as it does). He plucks some twigs and leaves, sticking them haphazardly in your hair, dangling from a new rip at the bottom of your shirt. 
He takes a step back to appreciate his handiwork, then nods, satisfied. 
You both stand there looking at each other for a moment, and finally you say, “Thank you.”
Donghyeok nods. “You didn’t deserve what that asshole was going to do to you. None of them ever do deserve it. He, however, deserved everything he got, and everything he’s going to get when I get back to Hell.”
“Thank you,” you repeat because you mean it, and there are no words more genuine that you can think to say. “Really, Donghyeok, thank you.”
You turn towards the lights of town. You’re going to the police, filing a report, making sure they know that that bastard tried to kill you, and he's the reason he’s dead. 
“One thing before you go!” Donghyeok steps in front of you. You look up at him just as he reaches out and puts his hand on your right shoulder. His hand burns hot and then hotter through your shirt, and you hiss in pain, trying to draw away, but Donghyeok holds on, only releasing you once the pain begins to fade into a tingle. 
“That’s all. See you around.”
And then the demon disappears into a shadowy mist. 
You stand there for a moment before you pull yourself back together, and you walk into town, straight for the police station. 
They believe the story, which is good since most of it is true. Only part of it is fictionalized: when you say that you managed to slip the bonds he’d had on your wrists, the part where you wrestled the knife from him, where you’d cut him across the throat and then run miles back to town through the woods. But the story is believable because the facts and evidence are all there — the police trek through the woods and find the site of the ritual, find his body, find a blade that somehow has your fingerprints; they find plans in his apartment, records of messages between him and others, of his search history on how to summon a demon and how to perform a virgin sacrifice. 
When you finally leave the police station, returning home under the care of your family and friends, you finally get a moment to yourself in the shower. 
You peel off your pants and socks, drag your shirt over your head, slip off your panties and bra, and then you look at yourself in the mirror. 
Black inky lines that weren’t there before these events are there now. You twist, angling better towards the mirror to be able to see what appears to be a whole tattoo that you never got. 
A sunflower curves from front to back over your shoulder and down onto your arm. 
You brush your fingers over the petals, feeling your skin tingle in a not unpleasant way. It sends a curl of warmth into your belly, makes your heart pound. 
It’s Donghyeok, you know it is. 
This is his mark, left on you. 
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The next time you see him, it’s too brief for your liking. 
There’s a street festival, sort of like a carnival in town, and you spend hours down there one day as afternoon turns to evening turns to night. It brings all the weirdos out, from your town and those surrounding. You stick close to your friends, you have fun, you spend too much money on greasy food and rigged carnival games, you flirt with a cute carnie to get the big stuffed teddy bear prize. 
Your friends decide to ride the Ferris wheel, but your mild fear of heights and the lure of a big pink cloud of cotton candy call to you instead. You’ll stay here feet firmly on the ground, enjoying your cotton candy, and watching them take a turn on the giant wheel. 
But first you have to find the cotton candy booth. 
You’re carrying your teddy prize like it’s a toddler, hoisted up to sit on your hip. You’re still rather pleased with yourself for having flirted it out of the carnie, even though you’re not quite sure what you’re going to do with it, and carrying it around for the rest of the night is possibly going to become a bit of a hindrance. 
You cut between two game booths, slipping into the shadowed path that runs along the backs of the games, like an alley between the ring toss games facing one way and the basketball and shooting games facing the other. The cotton candy booth is visible at the end. 
You have to step over wires, bags of vacuum-sealed prizes, a crate that’s surrounded by cigarette butts. The dings and chimes, alarm sounds and cries of joy all sound muffled, leaving you feeling a bit apart from the carnival despite being right in the heart of it. 
A figure melts out of the shadows, suddenly keeping perfect stride with you. 
You gasp, twisting around with the bear between you and this shadow-born devil. 
“Me again,” Donghyeok laughs. 
He’s got his hands tucked into his pockets. The devil horns are concealed by a hood. He’s wearing a leather jacket that has black wings stitched into the back panel. He could pass for normal, you think as your heart settles back into a more normal rhythm, if only his eyes weren’t still a deep red with his pupils reflecting light like an animal’s eyes at night. 
“Donghyeok.” You almost collapse against the back of one of the game tents. 
His lips curl around the sound of your name. You like the sound of that — his voice, your name. 
You just stand there staring at him for a moment, amazed that he’s actually here. In the days after your near-sacrifice, you’d almost convinced yourself that Donghyeok had been nothing more than a figment of your imagination used to soften the trauma of that night a little. But here he is again. Real. In the flesh. 
“Are you keeping out of trouble?” He asks, and when you nod, he scoffs. “But you’re back here walking by yourself? Do you know what kinds of people are drawn to work these carnivals? The transient lifestyle calls to some pretty awful people.” He turns to look back along the path you’ve been walking in this makeshift alleyway. 
Several feet back, there’s a slumped over figure where there hadn’t been before. And the longer you look, the more you realize it’s that cute carnie that had given you the bear.
“Don’t worry, baby, I’ve got your back.” Donghyeok pats your right shoulder, his skin hot against yours. “You should get back to your friends before they start worrying. Here, this is for you.” 
Out of thin air, he draws a large fluffy pink cotton candy, holding it out to you. 
Donghyeok escorts you back towards your friends, and he blends in with the crowd, looking perfectly human except for his eyes. His shoulder bumps against yours. He chatters and laughs with you. You find it so curious the way that your heart skips each time you look at him. 
Hours later, once you’re safely ensconced at home, you notice that the center of your sunflower marking on your shoulder is darker than it used to be, almost like you’d gotten it shaded in. 
Donghyeok again, you’re sure. 
You recall his hand on your shoulder, the gentle but pleasant burn of his skin on yours. 
You turn your head, resting your cheek against your shoulder. The center of the sunflower is warm against your cheek. 
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A few weeks later, you’re certain your family thinks you’re crazy. You’ve not seen Donghyeok again since that night at the carnival, and honestly, you’re beginning to feel very Bella Swan in New Moon about the situation. You’re about to start throwing yourself into harm’s way just to see if Donghyeok will make an appearance to save you; although, you have a strong suspicion that if he knew you were doing dangerous things intentionally, he would make a point of not showing up. 
So, instead of trying to cross paths with dangerous men (again), you decide to go to the library and local bookstores and pull any books you can find on how to summon a demon. You do research online, printing out pages and pages of summoning rituals. You’ve got a whole wall of your bedroom dedicated to the stuff.
“There is something very wrong with you,” your dad says one afternoon when he sees it all. “You survived that satanist dick. Why would you put yourself through this?”
You’re pretty sure your family and friends think you’re doing this to torture yourself. You can tell they’re all worried for you, all of them concerned about what path you’re taking.
But you’re not diving headfirst into satanism or anything like that really. You just want to summon one demon in particular – a chaos demon named Haechan who has asked you personally to call him Donghyeok.
You seek out a different ritual than the one performed when you first met him. You don’t want to have to sacrifice a virgin even if it only means a few drops of voluntary blood; that veers too close to the sacrifice you’d almost found yourself to be in the woods. 
Eventually, you find a source online that suggests a few specific crystals, certain herbs, fire and chalk and a spell in a language that you’ll have to teach yourself. But it seems doable. You just have to find a shop for all of those things, and then you’ll summon Donghyeok. You just want to see him again. You’re drawn to him, and maybe it’s because he saved you so you’ve got some weird type of twist on Stockholm Syndrome, or maybe it’s this sunflower he marked on your shoulder, the roots it’s put down inside you making you want to see him more and more, thirsting for him like a desert plant in a drought. 
You find a shop perfectly suited to your needs. The woman running the place seems quirky enough that you don’t have any qualms about telling her everything — what you’re looking for, how you’re going to use it, why you’re using it — and you’re obsessed with the gleeful twinkle in her eye as she dances around the shop, gathering the items you’ve listed, plucking them from dark corners, from a bay of windows, from bunches of herbs hanging from the ceiling. 
“I do have to warn you,” she says as she carefully packs it all into a bag for you, her voice dipping towards a serious tone to say, “Some demons are always listening for a call, even if it’s not for them, especially when it’s a pretty girl like you calling with almost no taint in your blood. Just know, dear, that when you call for your demon, someone else might try reaching through. So be careful when you speak the spell. Clear pronunciation, clear focus and determination.”
She pats your hand tenderly before you leave, and she wishes you well. 
You set up the ritual in your bedroom. You push all the furniture out of the center of the room, roll back the rug that usually covers the floor beneath your bed. You sketch out the symbols in chalk on the hardwood floor, you set up the crystals exactly according to the diagram on the website, placing candles exactly right too. You scatter herbs across the pentagram, sprinkle a few in a bowl set in the center of the ritual space, and finally you kneel beside it. 
You clear your mind except for thoughts of Donghyeok, your wish to have him in front of you, and you begin speaking the words you’ve been practicing since you found them. 
Before, they’ve felt like hollow words, but now as they fall from your lips there’s a new weight to them. 
You continue, keeping your mind set, and you strike a match, watch the flame flicker and wave as you continue speaking the spell, the foreign words feeling strange on your lips and tongue, creating a tingle that makes you feel that this must be working, that you’ll be able to see Donghyeok again. 
You drop the match into the bowl of crushed herbs in the center of the pentagram. The bowl is instantly engulfed in flame, the heat kissing your cheeks, and the final words of the spell incinerate in the air, the flames crackling and flashing a solid purple for a moment. 
You feel the air from the room disappear as the fire swirls and sparks, as the candle flames around the circle shoot up elongated and casting shadows. The crystals crack and shimmer.
And when it all falls away, when the flame in the bowl extinguishes and the candles resume their normal flame size, you look up at the demon standing above you. 
It’s not him. 
You gasp, falling back on your hands. 
The demon is fearsome, brutish. He reaches for you, gnarled red fingers clawed with filthy talons. You scramble backwards as he grabs for your sleeve, tearing the fabric when you jerk backwards. 
Suddenly the demon releases you and stands straight within the pentagram. 
“Haechan’s mark?” He utters in a garbled, deep voice straight from the pits of Hell. “You are under Haechan’s protection?”
A sharp whistle from across your bedroom draws your attention and that of the hideous demon in front of you. 
Donghyeok sits on your bed, looking relaxed as ever. He cocks his head to the side, staring down this other demon. “That’s right. She’s under my protection, so get the fuck out.”
Donghyeok flicks his fingers, and the other demon vanishes in a wave of smoke and embers. 
You can’t look away from Donghyeok lounging on your bed like it’s his throne. He’s wearing that leather jacket again, though right now his devil horns are visible poking through his dark hair. You’ve missed looking at him. 
He looks at you now too. “You called?”
“I wanted to see you,” you tell truthfully. 
“Why?” Donghyeok asks, not moving from the bed, just sitting there and watching you. 
“Well why did you mark me?” You lift your fingers to the flower on your shoulder, brushing your fingers over the petals. 
Across the room, Donghyeok’s eyelids flutter, and he rolls his head on his neck a little as if to relieve tension. “I marked you because I want you to be safe. I knew if any other demons saw my mark on you, they would leave you alone, as just evidenced.” He gestures at the pentagram. “And because I wanted you to have something to remember me by. And I like the thought of you wearing a memory of me.”
You stroke the petals of the flower again, and Donghyeok sits up on the edge of your bed, sitting forward. 
“The flower changed the last time I saw you.” You draw your finger up to the center, darker now than it had been when Donghyeok first marked you the night you met. “The center has color now.”
“I know.” He leans forward, but doesn’t leave your bed, though he seems to just be hanging onto the very edge of it. He doesn’t explain more, just looks at you as if waiting for more. 
You climb to your feet, picking your way through the candles and crystals and herbs, and you come to stand just in front of Donghyeok. He raises his gaze to your face, his hands are planted on either side of his thighs, and he doesn’t say a word as you reach out a hand, as you first touch his cheek with just your fingertips, and then you move them along his jaw, up into his hair. 
Donghyeok’s eyes flutter shut, a sigh falls from his lips. 
Your fingers find his horns, and gently you run your fingers along them both. 
His hands fly to your hips, a breath catching audibly in his throat. “What are you doing?” He asks, voice tight but not in a way like he wants you to stop. 
“You’re beautiful, Donghyeok,” you can’t resist saying, “And you’ve marked me, so maybe I want to return the favor.”
Donghyeok’s lips draw into a smirk. “Mark me how? Who are you trying to show that I’m yours?”
Your heart thunders, heat racing through your body at the sound of that. I’m yours, he said. “Say it again,” you demand. 
“Say what?” Donghyeok’s eyes open at last, flicking open and lifting to meet your gaze. “That marking me would show others that I’m yours? That I belong to you in some way?” His hands tighten in your hips pleasantly, and you shuffle a little more forward into the V of his open thighs. Donghyeok smiles up at you, saying, “Baby, you’re mine. And you have been since the night we met, since I put my mark on your shoulder. It’s only fair that you put a claim on me too. Do your worst.”
Challenge burns in his red eyes, and heat flows through you, rivers of fire that all lead to one point, settling low in your belly — a pool of burning need that you’ve never felt with anyone else before. 
With your fingers still in Donghyeok’s hair, you tip his head back. His lips pull into a wider grin, a soft sound of amusement, and then, “I forgot, baby, you’re a virgin. Are you intimidated by the thought of marking me?”
“No,” you groan. “Shut up.” 
You push Donghyeok’s shoulders, and he flops onto his back in your bed. 
God, he just looks like a guy, any normal guy that you might have found and invited back to your bed. And you’ve had a man in your bed before. You’ve had make out sessions, had heated heavy petting that never led anywhere. You’ve had hickeys, and given out your fair share of them too. 
But Donghyeok is Donghyeok. There’s definitely something intimidating about the confident way he’s looking at you, the sexy look in his eye as he watches you — not just a look that says that he knows he’s sexy, but even more arousing is that the look in his eyes tells you that he finds you incredibly sexy. 
You sink onto your bed on your knees, straddling the demon’s lap. Donghyeok lifts his hands up, interlacing his fingers behind his head as he watches you, and the expression on his face is just stoking that fire inside of you. 
“Can you sit up?” You ask. “Take your jacket off?”
“Mm,” Donghyeok hums. “I like when you tell me what to do.”
Your belly swoops, and his grin widens. 
He sits up, and you find his smile just inches in front of you. He shrugs out of his jacket, pushing it off the bed, and then he’s sitting here beneath you in a plain white tee, the denim of his jeans rubs against your thighs. And he’s right here. Right here. Lips just in front of you, and your hands drift back to touch him, to feel the warmth and breadth of his shoulders, and then your thumbs are sweeping in to trace over his Adam’s apple, which bobs when he swallows and breathes in sharply. Your fingers slide around to the nape of his neck, just pushing into his hair, and Donghyeok makes a noise so quiet yet so filled with desire. 
You’ve been sitting here watching the path of your hands, but now you look at his lips so full and moist in front of you. And then you look just a bit higher to his eyes. 
Perhaps the demonic bloody red of them should scare you, but they don’t. They stare into yours and you can’t bring yourself to give a damn about the fact that Donghyeok is a demon and not just a man. 
That doesn’t matter to you one bit when you finally press your lips to his. 
Donghyeok immediately kisses you back, opening up to your kiss, but he lets you take the lead, lets you do what you want with him. He moans when you push your hands higher into his hair at the back of his head, moans when you suck on his tongue, moans when you press your chest against his. 
You moan when his hands finally find your hips again. Donghyeok drags your hips across the front of his pants, and you break the kiss to let out a shuddery moan. 
“Okay?” He murmurs, lips falling down to your jaw, leaving butterfly kisses along the underside. 
“Yes,” you sigh, “Do it again.”
Donghyeok drags you over his crotch again, rolling his hips up too, and you can feel him then, his erection beginning to press against the front of his jeans. He does it again and again, and after a few moments, you pick up the rhythm, taking over as you simulate riding him, and you bring his mouth back onto yours. 
Again, Donghyeok is happy to let you lead, to control what’s happening. 
He just touches you without pushing you, kisses you at the pace you set, although that doesn’t mean he’s a passive participant in all of this. He’s reacting and vocal, occasionally nipping at your bottom lip, occasionally bucking his hips out of rhythm with your moves. It’s like he’s giving you little peeks into his desire for you, moments when his cool demon facade slips. 
Donghyeok moans when you leave his mouth behind to instead kiss his neck. His hands come to rest on your ass while you keep rolling and grinding down on his straining erection, and you’re feeling the tightening in your belly, you know if you don’t stop soon you’re going to cum like this. But it wouldn’t be the first time. You’ve had boyfriends and casual relationships before that respected your virginity, that had been content with things like this, found it hot to cum when fully clothed. 
Donghyeok seems to be in the same mindset. 
His golden skin beneath your lips is hot, and he moans your name again and again, rolling his hips up to meet each downward push of yours. You rock your hips more frantically, losing control as your orgasm rises. You bite at his throat as you cum, and Donghyeok’s hands on your ass keep you moving, keeping up with the push and pull of your pussy grinding over his erection. 
Your body is still tingling as you roll off of him, as you lie down in your bed and pull him over you. “More,” you demand, “I want more.”
“Are you sure?” The demon above you asks. 
You crave more from him. Donghyeok has you hotter than any man ever has before. 
He kisses you without warning, jolting forward and sweeping you into a dramatic, hungry kiss. You want him, and you pour that desire into the kiss, impatient and horny for him to give you more. 
You don’t wait for Donghyeok to start undressing you, you reach down and unfasten your shorts, maneuvering them off your hips and down your legs. The shirt’s a bit more difficult to rid yourself of, but Donghyeok obligingly breaks the kiss to let you pull it over your head, and while you’re in this position with space between you, you reach for the hem of his shirt. 
“Can I?” You ask, tucking your fingers beneath the hem. “I want to have all of you.”
Donghyeok’s eyes flash flaming red. His voice is rough with emotion when he says simply, “Yes.”
You drag his shirt over his head without another moment wasted. And then your hands are back in his hair, stroking the curve of his horns as Donghyeok crushes his mouth to yours again. 
Donghyeok grinds against your thigh while the two of you make out, and you have to pull one of your hands from his hair, seeking out one of his hands to pull down between your legs. 
You’ve been touched like this before too. Over the panties, an ex rubbing your clit and stroking along your slit with the thin fabric between you and him. You’d managed a weak, unsatisfactory orgasm from it after a drawn out attempt, and decided to end things with him a few days later citing that you just didn’t feel the chemistry. 
But presently, the moment Donghyeok’s fingers make contact with your clit over your panties, your brain is buzzing. Every nerve ending in your body is alert. 
Donghyeok kisses you through every gasp and sigh. He smiles when you whine and buck your hips, when you circle your hips and grab at his wrist to guide his fingers towards your wet entrance, to the spot where your panties are absolutely soaked through. He kisses the corner of your mouth, and teases, “Do you want me to continue?”
You push away your panties, almost tearing them in your rush to be rid of them. 
This much you’ve never done before. Never done penetration even with a man’s fingers. 
Whether Donghyeok can read that in you, or if he sees the slight anxious anticipation in your gaze, he tenderly kisses your lips, sufficiently distracting you as he slicks his fingers against your bare pussy. This is a first for you too. Bare fingers and bare pussy, slick wetness making the glide so much easier and more pleasant. 
Donghyeok kisses you and touches you until you’re whimpering, reaching for his wrist. “Inside me, put them inside me,” you beg, urging his hand lower. 
It doesn’t make sense for a demon to be so gentle, but he is. Donghyeok eases first a single finger inside you, then another. He leaves your lips to kiss down your throat and chest, kissing lower and lower, drawing down your body until his mouth is right there and he licks your clit. 
You’re not sure if it’s just the experience of oral sex or if it’s because it’s Donghyeok, but your entire body lights up as he licks your clit, as he thrusts his fingers into you again. He takes his time with you, filling you with his fingers, curling them inside you and brushing a spot that makes you gasp, body jerking at the incredible sensation. 
Donghyeok laughs, delighted by how you’re reacting. He kisses your hips and your belly, slowly works his way back up, and you swear it feels like he kisses every part of you. His fingers press inside your pussy, slow thrusts until you’re begging for more, raking your fingers through his hair while he’s kissing your belly. Your fingers find his horns, and you use them like handles to guide his head back down. 
He’s laughing still, thoroughly enjoying you taking control, guiding him to where you want him. 
You arch your back, rolling your hips down against his face as Donghyeok sucks your clit between his lips, his fingers suddenly fucking into you at a faster speed, skilled at touching you exactly right. 
A second orgasm sweeps through you, and you ride it out on his face and fingers. 
When you push at Donghyeok’s devil horns, he backs off, kneeling up between your legs, and he gazes down at you while he licks his lips, and brings his fingers up to his mouth. You can’t look away, completely enraptured as he licks between his fingers, as he sucks them into his mouth. His eyes are hot, raking over your body. 
You want him bad. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Donghyeok asks, pulling his fingers out of his mouth. His hand drifts down to the front of his pants, and you watch him give himself a squeeze. “Looking like you want to eat me, baby.”
You want to take a bite out of him. Well, you at least can’t fight the urge to bite him, to leave the imprint of your teeth in the curve of his shoulder, to bite his neck again since he’d seemed to like that earlier. You don’t want to eat him, but you sure want to take all of him, to have this devil inside you. 
Donghyeok slides the heel of his palm along his clothed erection, and you decide right then in that moment that you’ve had enough of waiting. 
“I’m ready,” you tell him. 
Donghyeok blinks, and again he looks more human than demon. “Ready? Like for… for sex?”
You nod. 
“You want to lose your virginity with me?” Donghyeok clarifies. You nod, but that’s still not enough for him. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Donghyeok, please will you have sex with me. I’m ready to let go of the idea of my virginity. I’m ready to have sex, and I want it to be with you.” Can you be more clear?
Yes, you’ve waited a long time for this. You’ve picked and chosen, selecting this actual demon over some normal men. But despite Donghyeok’s demonhood, he’s treated you better and been more considerate than any of the men you’ve come close to considering doing this with before. You’ve just been waiting for the right man to come along, and the right man in this case just happens to be a horny, red-eyed demon. 
Donghyeok kisses you once again, and then he waits, holding just above you until you reach up and pull him back in. He’s smiling when you kiss him, and again, he lets you take over, lets you touch him and do what you want. So when you run your hands along his ribs, when your fingertips reach the waistband of his jeans, Donghyeok just moans happily. 
His hands join yours in the effort to push his pants down, and the demon above you laughs delightfully, kissing you thoroughly making you forget the slight nerves you feel at the prospect of finally doing this, finally having sex, instead you’re just excited, just laughing and moaning along with him. 
As soon as Donghyeok’s pants are slid down and kicked off, you reach for his dick, touching him the way an ex-boyfriend of yours had liked. He’d always told you to make it all about him, taught you to do things the way that he liked. 
“Wait,” Donghyeok says, “You don’t have to do all that. I’m already worked up for you, baby. You may think being a demon comes with supernatural endurance or something, but in this I’m no better than a human man. You’re gorgeous, and that makes me want to just…” He cuts himself off by kissing you, but you think you get what he means. 
He finds you beautiful, and not only that, but beautiful enough that he feels at risk of cumming too fast if you keep touching him before he’s inside you. 
“Then fuck me.” You whisper the words to his lips. “Take me as a virgin sacrifice, Donghyeok. Like I was meant to be.”
Donghyeok scoffs, kissing you again and then he’s moving. His hand brushes yours away from his dick, and he rolls his hips forward, pressing the tip against your entrance without actually entering you. 
��Are you sure?”
“I find it beyond charming that you’re a polite, gentlemanly chaos demon, Donghyeok. Yes, I’m sure.” You shift your hips, circling them down, and Donghyeok’s dick sinks in. 
He keeps going, pressing in deeper. He’s watching your face, and you hold his gaze while you adjust to the full feeling, the different feeling of having something this thick and deep inside you. Not a bad feeling, just a different kind. 
“Don’t stop!” You gasp when Donghyeok just goes still inside you. 
He holds himself above you, just looking down at you with this expression and all of these emotions in his red eyes. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask, lifting a hand up to cover his eyes, but it does nothing to block his radiant smile. “Are you gonna move or just dock yourself in me?”
Donghyeok laughs again, and you’re quickly realizing that’s your favorite sound. “Maybe I’m taking in your virgin sacrifice,” he teases, “Doing my demon thing.”
“Right, sure. But can you hurry up with your demon thing?” You move your hand from his eyes, pushing your fingers into his hair to find his horns again. Donghyeok shudders with pleasure as you stroke your fingers over the ridges on one horn and then the other. “You’re not acting very demonic, you know. Treating me all gently and tenderly.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’d rather I bend you into strange shapes and fuck you hard and rough for your first time?” Donghyeok pulls his hips back and pushes back in roughly. It stings a bit, but you don’t mind all that much. And then he does it again. “Like this?”
“Sure,” you whimper, “Fuck me like you’ve done to all the other girls you’ve ever fucked.”
Donghyeok simply kisses you, getting you to melt beneath his lips, and then he moves again, thrusting into you. You gasp into the kiss, and Donghyeok takes advantage of that to deepen the kiss, making out with you as he fucks you, his dick reaching places that you didn’t even realize existed. He’s got your legs spread wide, his hips crashing against you repeatedly, drawing pretty moans from you with each thrust against your sweet spot. 
And once you get used to this new sensation of having a dick inside you, you really enjoy it. Donghyeok’s tongue being down your throat helps a bit too, his skill with kissing is definitely distracting you from the less pleasant sensations. 
Your whole body tingles each time that Donghyeok buries himself to the hilt in you. He grinds forward, stimulating your clit, externally and internally. He touches your boobs, but that doesn’t do a whole lot for you. You keep your hands in his hair, on his horns, and that seems to drive him mad with lust; each time you’ve got your fingers on his black devil horns, Donghyeok jerks, fucking into you a little harder, a little out of control. 
It’s one of those times that you’ve got a hand curled around one of his horns, your other hand cradling the back of his neck as Donghyeok kisses your collarbones, that he moans so beautifully for you. “Fuck,” he moans, “I want to give you everything, baby. Everything I’ve got, all for you.”
You want it, whatever that means. Whatever Donghyeok has, you’ll take it. 
A moment later, he cums, heat flooding your belly, sticky and slick as he pulls out, streaking it across your inner thighs and your pussy. 
“Everything, baby,” he murmurs, kissing along your collarbone to your right shoulder. He rolls his hips forward, filling you with his dick once more right as he kisses the sunflower mark he gave you that first night. 
Fire ignited throughout your body, pleasure and desire tangling together, ramping up higher and higher. Your climax tears through you like a wildfire, and Donghyeok fucks you through it, hips driving against yours; his teeth dig against your shoulder, his tongue following to soothe the bitemark. You can only hold onto him, hold tighter, keep moving your body with his to keep the waves of pleasure coming. 
Even once you’re coming down from your orgasm, your whole body is still tingling and warm. Donghyeok is all but stuck to you, both of you are all sweaty so your skin sticks together. His lips press to the sunflower mark he left on you, his hands slide against your ribs, leaving a hot tingle deep under your skin, and you have a feeling he’s leaving another mark, another claim or protection. 
You can’t get a good look at the marks he’s left on you, but you can feel them all – the warmth of the sunflower on your shoulder, which you’re pretty sure looks a bit more yellow in the petals now than it did earlier; there are the hickeys and bitemarks Donghyeok left on you; now these new marks on your ribs, which look like a swirl of small inky spots that are resolving into anything familiar, and on the other side you swear it’s a fine-line rendition of the sun. 
You wish you could do the same and leave a mark on him, more than the sparse hickeys you left on his throat earlier. 
For right now, you settle for just holding him. You wrap your arms around him, and Donghyeok tucks his face into your shoulder, moaning softly as he rolls onto his side, bringing you with him. Your legs are still tangled, bodies pressed together, his dick still inside you though he’s gone soft. 
“Call me crazy,” Donghyeok whispers to you, “I know we’ve only met twice before tonight, but I feel like we have a really good connection. I like you.”
Your heart races at the confession. “I like you too.”
You feel his lips curve into a smile against your skin. “Good. I’d hate for you to have just given up your virginity on a guy you don’t even like. A demon, at that.”
“It doesn’t bother me that you’re a demon yknow. You’re more decent than most of the guys I’ve known.” You trace your fingers down Donghyeok’s back, feeling two long angled scars by his shoulder blades, like that’s where his wings come and go from. “If anything, I don’t understand why a demon is interested in me.”
Donghyeok lifts his head, and he looks you in the eye as he says, “I told you earlier. You’re gorgeous, and the moment that asshole tried to sacrifice you to me, I caught a glimpse of your soul. You’re a pure soul, so utterly good that it pains me to look at you with all the layers peeled back, but not in a bad way. It hurts me the way it hurts to look at something you aspire toward; looking at you is like looking at the stars and knowing that you’ll never be able to hold one in your hand.”
But his hands are on you now. 
His fingers trace over your ribs, and you can tell by the tingle now that he’s definitely left a new mark on you. 
You take up his hand, pulling it up to your lips, and you place a kiss in the center of his palm. And when you look at his face, you see right there on his cheek that maybe. He’s closer to holding the stars than he thinks. You trace the constellation of moles on his cheek and down his throat, so similar to one that you see in the night sky. 
Donghyeok leans his cheek into your hand, and he holds you a little closer. He presses his forehead to yours. 
The candles behind you on the floor have burned down to nothing but puddles of cooling wax. The herbs and crystals and chalk symbols can be picked up and wiped away in the morning. But for tonight, you hold a demon in your arms, completely at ease in his warm embrace.
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a/n: I'm sorry for the long wait on this one! Day 9 is finally being posted on Day 11, which has definitely put me behind, and is making me reconsider my decision to do this for this month. But I really liked writing this one! I've been very Haechan-biased since The Dream Show 3, so I needed to write this tbh.
If you notice any errors or if you feel I should include some more tags/content warnings, please let me know!
I hope you enjoyed! Reblogs are deserving of my eternal gratitude, likes are greatly appreciated, and your thoughts and comments are always welcome !
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almond-tofuuu · 8 months ago
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Wanna sit on Zayne’s lap (innocently) facing him with my face buried in his chest while he works 😊 and then maybe after a while grind on him a lil, just enough to rile him up, and then keep doing it until he snaps and pounds me into the nearest surface 😊
anon you are not the only one who wants to do this!!! If I've said it once, I'll say it again: ZAYNE WANTS US TO GRIND DOWN IN HIM!! why else would he keep letting us sit in his lap 🤷🏻‍♀️
Also sorry it took so long for me to write this, work has been brutal 😭😭😭 hope you enjoy!!
Dangerous Game
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Zayne x reader
Warnings: nsfw minors dni, grinding, orgasm denial, Zayne's big dick (it needs it's own warning), pet names (Angel)
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Zayne was busy, always busy. Even when he came home after a long shift at the hospital, he still had more work that needed to be completed. And you understood, you really did, his job was very important and his meticulous nature was just one of the many things you loved about him. But right now you were cursing the seemingly neverending amount of paperwork stacked on the desk next to him. Hearing that he had actually gotten off work on time for once, you were looking forward to spending an evening curled up on the sofa with your loving boyfriend. But your plans were cut short the moment he picked up a pen and started filling out documents. Watching him from the doorway you let out a small sigh, resigning yourself to spending another evening entertaining yourself, when an idea formed in your mind. Hiding the mischievous smirk growing on your face, you tiptoed your way over to Zayne, stopping beside his chair, gently poking his shoulder. Zayne's eyes flickered over to you, pen halting mid stroke as he gave you his full attention.
"Is there something I can help you with, Angel?" His smooth voice never failed to make your heart flutter, honeyed tone soft and tender, a sound reserved solely for you. Your fingers play with the cuff of his sleeve, a small pout on your lips, one you know he loves. "Can I sit with you? I missed you so much and I just want to be close to you for a while." The corners of Zayne's lips curl up into a soft smile, and you knew he'd give you whatever you wanted, after all Zayne could never say no to you. You were his weakness.
An amused chuckle left Zayne's lips as he swivelled his chair to face you, one hand holding yours whilst the other tapped his thigh, inviting you into his lap. "How can I refuse when you asked so nicely. Come on then, take a seat, Angel." He gently pulled you closer, helping you to straddle his lap, another deep chuckle rumbling from his chest as he watches you bury your face in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. "Now be good for me, I'm almost finished with these reports. Then we can go watch a movie together." He gives a light squeeze to the plush of your hips before his hands leave you, picking up his pen and resuming his work.
You want to be good for him, you really do try, but your mind begins to wander. There's something about being surrounded by him, his scent overwhelming your senses, the steady rhythm of his heart, his muscular thighs below you, it ignites a fire deep within you, and with every passing second you can feel the growing ache in your core.
You start small at first, squirming slightly in his lap, little wiggles that you play off as "just trying to get comfy". And for a while it's enough, but soon the throbbing in your cunt gets stronger, your clit begging for more friction, something to relieve the pressure building up in your lower stomach. You give an experimental rock of your hips, freezing to wait for Zayne's reaction. When he doesn't respond you do it again, setting a steady rhythm as you grind down on his lap. The zipper on the front of his slacks rubs perfectly against your sensitive clit, the pleasure increasing with every roll of your hips, head burying further into the crook of Zayne's neck, his masculine scent filling your nose, pushing you even closer to your orgasm that is building steadily. Your pussy is dripping now, soaking your panties, your empty hole flutters and pulses as you continue grinding in Zayne's lap, too lost in pleasure to register the tiny whimpers leaving your mouth, forgetting all about subtly as your minds only focus is on your orgasm that is fast approaching. Speeding up your movement, hips pressing down harder into his, a breathy moan of his name falls from your lips as you're about to reach your peak. Just as you feel yourself tumbling over the edge, two strong, cold hands firmly grab your hips, halting your movement completely. You whine desperately at the loss of your orgasm, hips frantically chasing more of that delicious friction that would have your cunt gushing into your panties, but it's useless. Zayne's vice-like grip prevents any of your movements, cold fingers bruising as they dig into the soft flesh of your hips.
"Did you really think I would let you finish like that, Angel?" Zayne whispered lowly in your ear, dark tone sending a shiver down your spine. "I thought I told you to be good, but it seems my girl was just too desperate to wait." You let out a pathetic mewl as Zayne presses you further into his lap, only now noticing the large bulge that has formed in his pants, his cock hard and begging for relief as it grinds against your clothed pussy. "You wanted my attention, Angel? Well you've got it. And I'm going to spend the rest of tonight teaching you what happens to bad girls who don't do as their told." He chuckles darkly, hips rutting up into yours, mercilessly guiding your sensitive cunt along the length of his confined cock. "And I'm not going to stop until you're a begging, whimpering mess."
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dadbodbuck · 3 months ago
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i had a bad day and then @tommystummy started talking about bucktommy arguments and this scenario came up and i latched onto it like a moray eel. please enjoy some raw, unedited tommy kinard angst
Tommy doesn't like talking about it. It being the roughly five years he worked under Captain Gerrard, alongside Howie and Hen, when he was deeply closeted and a major asshole. He can make his excuses, he can try to convey the feeling of looking into someone's eyes and only seeing your father's. He can admit to the humiliating nightmares he used to have of his father storming into the fire station and screaming at him. Neither of those are reason enough to be callous towards people who were being tortured in their own workplace.
Howie and Hen were much quicker to forgive him than Tommy was. In fact, it seemed like it only took one mumbled apology for them to shrug it all off. Water under the bridge, they had said. Just don't do it again.
And God, Tommy never did. After that, after finally taking his sexuality out of the box deep in the animal part of his brain, he told himself he would be different. He expected it to be hard, and on some level it was, but—
Tommy kissed a man for the first time (since high school) forty-eight hours after he was reassigned to the 217, quick and dirty in a bar in West Hollywood. Something in Tommy’s chest clicked into place when he heard the soft, deep moan of a nameless man wearing body glitter. He couldn’t go back even if he wanted to.
Before, he’d been afraid of this exact thing. He’d kept his hands to himself because he knew that his closet wasn’t resealable. It was one-and-done. Gerrard’s boys would have eaten him alive. But Howie and Hen wouldn’t. They didn’t.
It still took him a long time for him to tell them. They didn’t talk often, but they did keep in touch. Tommy owed them so many favors he’d probably be repaying them for the rest of his life, but they seemed more interested in just being his friend. A distant one, but a friend nonetheless.
Distance was fine. Distance was easy. Distance allowed for Tommy to keep his comfortable walls in place, even if he redecorated them a little.
It took him three months to realize how debilitating loneliness was. He was out, now, but without the close, albeit sterile and toxic, friendship of the boy’s club at the 118. Tommy longed for connection. He thrived on it. Something deep, and routine, and constant.
But nobody was volunteering. So Tommy resigned himself to his old hobbies, cars and Muay Thai and basketball, and introduced karaoke trivia to the routine, because he’d always loved singing but never had the guts to do it while he was closeted. It was nice. If anyone noticed Tommy’s near-compulsive schedule of activities, they never mentioned it. The years passed. Howie and Hen grew even more distant. Tommy liked their Facebook posts. He did their favors. He was still lonely, but he successfully put the version of himself he had been on a shelf in the deepest recesses of his brain, never to see the light of day again.
He was a good person now. He was good. He was good despite the skeletons rattling in the closet where his love used to be.
Then, Evan.
No other preamble necessary. Then, Evan. With his broad chest and blue eyes and insane, insane ideas.
Really, was Tommy not supposed to fall in love with him?
Things are great for a while. Idyllic. Peaceful, and exciting, and sweet, and so goddamn sexy, and safe. Tommy feels safe in Evan’s arms.
The problem, of course, is that Evan has this idea that he has to know every part of Tommy. All of him.
“I want to love all of you,” Evan murmurs, as a creeping sense of dread settles in Tommy’s chest, “Even the parts you don’t like.”
Tommy chews on his words, but Evan must sense something is wrong, because he props himself up on an elbow and leans over Tommy, brow scrunched in concern.
“There are parts of me that aren’t worth loving.” Tommy settles on, eventually.
He watches Evan’s heart break in real time, and it does nothing to soothe the growing irritation in his chest.
“I don’t believe that,” Evan frowns, “I think even when you were making mistakes, you were worth loving.”
Tommy huffs a dry, sarcastic laugh. “I beg to differ.”
He doesn’t elaborate. Can’t. Evan doesn’t like this. “Tom, that’s—that’s not how this works. You don’t get to pick and choose which parts of you I’m allowed to love. I don’t care what it is. I love you.”
Tommy isn’t going to win this argument, so he doesn’t even try. Instead, he forces himself to relax, and sighs. “Okay. Sorry, honey.”
He can tell Evan isn’t buying it, by the disbelieving set to his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he lays back down and presses a gentle kiss to Tommy’s shoulder. It feels a lot like another declaration.
“I love you too,” Tommy says, bringing one of Evan’s hands up to his mouth to kiss his knuckles. Evan revels in physical touch—it’s one of his favorite love languages, although he enjoys pretty much all of them. Mostly, Tommy thinks Evan was just love-starved for a long time.
Tommy is positive beyond doubt that Evan was never like him. It takes little talking to Howie and Maddie to confirm that he’s always presented his heart on a platter, warm and bleeding for whoever wants to carry it. There’s no universe where a callous man like Gerrard would have turned Evan into what Tommy was. Evan has never been a coward.
Tommy hopes that’ll be the end of the argument, but the next day, Evan sits down on the couch and says, “I know talking about your past is painful for you, and I don’t want to force you to tell me anything.”
Tommy senses a conjunction and chooses to remain silent.
“But,” there it is, “I don’t take back what I said.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you again,” Tommy grunts, knowing he’s closing himself off.
“Then let me say it,” Evan presses, “There is nothing in your past that would change how I feel about you.”
“You don’t know that,” Tommy says, through gritted teeth, “You don’t know what I was like to Howie and Hen when they first joined the 118. I said things I shouldn’t have. I let Gerrard and his cronies get away with even worse. I let them get hurt, and I did nothing, because I was a coward.”
Evan looks at him with big, sad eyes. “You were scared.”
“I should have done the right thing anyway,” Tommy argues, “You think Howie and Hen weren’t scared? You think they weren’t terrified? Hen got up in front of everyone and gave us this big speech about how proud she was to be gay, to be black, to be herself. And all I did was stand there with this pit in my stomach. Like if anyone looked over at me they would just know, and then I’d be a pariah. Like her.”
“Tommy,” Evan says, dismayed, “She’s forgiven you so many times over for that. Beating yourself up about it does nothing.”
“It holds me accountable,” Tommy says, “It keeps me from being that person again. I hate the person I was back then. You would have hated him, too.”
“Maybe,” Evan shrugs, like it’s just that easy, “But I try not to hate people. I certainly don’t hate my loved ones for making mistakes. And that’s what you did. Make a mistake. Now, looking back on it, I can see that version of you. That Tommy, who was afraid and in pain. I still love him.”
“Stop!” Tommy snaps, but makes no move to get away from Evan. Evan’s hand stutters, but makes its way to Tommy’s shoulder, thumb rubbing over the joint.
“I love every version of all of my loved ones,” Evan says softly, “I love the version of Bobby who almost drank himself to death. I love the version of Eddie that fought people in the street. I love the version of Chim that punched me. I love the version of Maddie that ran away from me—several times, I might add. I love the version of Hen that almost ended her own marriage when she betrayed Karen’s trust.”
There’s about thirty different stories Tommy wants to explore in there, but Evan doesn’t let him get a word in edgewise. “And I love the version of you that stood by and watched because he was too scared to intervene.”
Evan leans in to plant a tender kiss to Tommy’s cheek. “I love him, and I love the Tommy who was in Iraq, and I love the Tommy who was almost a high school dropout, and I love the Tommy who loved to go hiking after middle school, and I love the Tommy who was late learning how to walk but early learning how to read. It’s not hard. He’s you.”
“I don’t want him to be me,” Tommy confesses, throat tight.
“But he is,” Evan murmurs, soft and soothing in Tommy’s ear, “He’s right here. And he’s doing right by people now. He learned how to be brave. He made amends. Hen and Chim didn’t forgive you because you killed that old version of yourself, they forgave you because you made an effort.”
It’s the first time Tommy’s ever heard it phrased like this, and something about the way Evan says it makes his eyes sting. Evan pulls him into a hug, tucks his face into the crook of his neck, and lets Tommy cry. Rubs his back through it. If Tommy pretends, he could be rubbing the uniform-clad thirty-five year-old firefighter, or the fatigued back of an eighteen-year-old soldier, or the thrifted cotton tee of a middle schooler, or the just-too-tight romper of a toddler. All the Tommies that never got this, all the Tommies that desperately wanted it.
For the first time since his mother died, Tommy is held while he cries, and after nearly thirty years, something in his chest stops aching.
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drunk-person · 6 months ago
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Burned by you (One Shot)
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Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x wife!reader
Summary: After a few months of marriage, the reader tries to see in her always well-composed and taciturn husband the frightening dragon that she was told to fear before the wedding, but without success. Until one afternoon a small incident pushes Aemond over the edge and she realizes her wish to wake the dragon.
WARNING: 18+ mdni! Smut, p in v, fingering, possessive and jealousy sex, dom/sub tones if you squint, mentions of murder, no description for reader.
Word cont: 1.900 k
Author's note: Hi, this is my first one short published, I've written others, but I never posted them and this one was written this afternoon and I thought "why not?". I usually write better than this, but this was a jumbled part of my mind that I finally decided to share, hope someone likes it. English is not my first language so be kind if you can.
Aemond's stoic manner almost always disturbed his young wife. No matter how much she saw the fire cross her eye, it never burned what was around her. Except in the training yard, she never saw him out of composure, and sometimes not even in the training yard he lost his composure. His hair was always well-groomed, his clothes were well-adjusted and his gaze was always calculated. She got tired. She wanted to see the beast she knew was underneath. She wanted the fire that shone every now and then in his eyes to consume her. She wanted to be burned by the dragon. So she did what she could do best, teased him to death.
She smiled everywhere in the way she knew Aemond didn't like her to do. She walked through the courtyards in her dresses considered most revealing. She would even grant a dance or two to some braggart Lord, but he remained just as stoic. The day she gave Prince Jacaerys a dance she thought she saw his eyes sparkle, but soon he was talking to his sister and she lost sight of his eyes.
Y/n she got tired of that game in which she was visibly losing. She was resigned to knowing that she would never see the dragon she had been warned about when she got married. She was walking calmly through the gardens while thinking when she felt the heel of the boot she was wearing give way on her. And with a gasp she almost fell face first onto the grass in front, but before that, a rough hand caught her.
— Is my princess okay? — The young gardener asked helpfully.
— My shoe broke. — She said while leaning on the boy who must have been a few years older than her.
— Here, let me help. — The gardener placed her hand on his shoulder and crouched close to the ground while removing the shoe from Y/n's foot, who didn't even notice the compromising position in which she found herself with the boy practically between her legs.
Suddenly came the cold and menacing voice from her back, causing every hair on her body to stand on end.
— Wife. — She immediately turned back, stepping with her bare foot on the grass, while the gardener released her and practically fell into a sitting position on the garden lawn. Aemond's eyes were on fire, her jaw was clenched and her body was tense like a rope stretched to its limit.
— Husband, nothing happened. — She tried to explain quickly. — My shoe broke and got stuck on the lawn, he was just…
— Quiet. — Aemond hissed harshly.
— But husband...
— I said to keep quiet. — He spoke with a firm voice as he approached them both.
He guided his hand to her neck and caressed it gently as he closed one of his hands and squeezed it, but not enough to hurt. Y/n looked him in the eyes, scared and without moving a single muscle.
— Go to our chambers and wait for me there. — He practically spat out the words as he released her neck without any delicacy.
Y/n didn't question him anymore, she just turned her back and ran barefoot towards their shared chambers without even looking at the gardener, who was still lying on the grass.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
She walked around the room without even being able to breathe. What would happen? What was her husband thinking now? Where he was? It seemed like hours had passed since the garden. And then without warning the door opened and she immediately turned towards it, but the sight that came was of something completely unheard of.
Aemond walked through the door with her hands, her face and her own clothes covered in blood, a frightening look on her face. Her steps were stiff as he slowly walked towards her.
— Husband, what happened? — She asked worried, but unable to move towards him.
— Do you want to know what happened? What did I have to do? — He asked angrily when he finally approached her and held her jaw firmly in his right hand, squeezing it tightly. — I made that filthy gardener fight me.
Y/n’s heart sank for the poor guy. She knew that no one in the royal guard was a match for Aemond, a young gardener would never be. But why was it covered in blood?
— And when I beat him without any major complications. — He paused before concluding in an even more cruel voice. — I beheaded him myself.
Y/n brought her hands to her lips as she imagined the brutal scene in front of her.
— Sad for your loving wife? — He practically shouted as he pulled her hair back forcing her to look into his eyes. Y/n quickly shook her head in visible despair.
— He was not my lover. I swear husband! He was just taking my shoe off the grass. — She whimpered as Aemond pulled even more of her hair.
— I may have only one eye but I'm not blind, wife. — He growled, looking into her eyes. — That man didn't look at you as someone who just wanted to help you with a shoe.— Husband... — She tried speak, but Aemond slapped her.
— I tried to treat you the best I could, but if you want to act like a common whore, then I'll treat you like a common whore. — Aemond pulled out his dagger and Y/n's eyes widened, he then used it to tear the entire dress she was wearing, ripping it off her in moments, leaving only her undershirt, which he tore with his own hands, making Y/n gasp.
Aemond bent her over the table and before Y/n could understand anything, she felt a new slap on her ass and let out a scream of surprise. Without warning, Aemond violently separated her ass cheeks, making her feel exposed, her whole body seemed to burn with shame. She felt herself heat up even more as she heard her husband laugh evilly and felt his breath against her wet folds.
— A real little whore. — He inserted two fingers at once into her intimacy, making her squirm. — Wet and anxious while waiting to be fucked.
She moaned outrageously as she felt his fingers fucking her without mercy. Her body was lying on the table and while he was fucking her with one hand, Aemond held her firmly by the neck, keeping her in the same position. She felt that the air was running out of her and the pressure in her belly was almost unbearable, and when her husband removed his hand from her neck and took it to the top of her thighs, violently pinching her pearl, she screamed with pleasure and pain as she came against Aemond's hands, who didn't stop his movements for even a second.
The Excessive Stimulation was making her go crazy. Aemond, without caring, slapped her on the buttock, making her grip the table tightly, the slap was followed by another, and another, and another, until Y/n was reduced to a crying and desperate mess.
— Husband. — She begged, babbling and drooling on the table top. - Please…
Aemond just laughed and bit her shoulder firmly, as he penetrated her all at once with his length, she whimpered even more at the sudden intrusion. And without waiting for her to get used to it like he always did, he started fucking her violently. Aemond took his hands to her hair, entangling his hands there and pulling her head back making her face their reflection in the mirror.
The Vision made Y/n moan even more, she was completely naked and Aemond was clothed. His hair was messy and scattered everywhere, his clothes were a mess, his face and part of his skin were covered in blood, and his look... oh, his look looked like that of a mad man. The flame that was there could burn the entire room, and it was certainly burning her.
— I should have fucked you in front of that bastard before I ripped his head off. — Aemond growled in her ear as he fucked her even harder and Y/n cried uncontrollably amid moans and panting. — Maybe I'll ask them to bring his head and hang it in our room so he can watch as I fuck you every night in the seven fucking hells. — Y/n let out a scream when she heard him say those things. The hand that squeezed her waist did so with such force that it hurt, as he went deeper and deeper into her.
— You have to know, wife. — He practically growled as he bit her neck violently. — That you are mine, if I see you dancing with that bastard Strong again I will make sure that an accident occurs and he falls from one of the towers. — He slapped her hard on the ass when he said that.
— If any of these servants touch your skin again, I will rip their head off in front of you. — He gave a strong thrust inside her as he stared at her in the mirror with his eyes burning. — I will kill anyone who dares to come close to what is mine. — He hissed in an almost venomous way as he squeezed her breasts firmly and Y/n felt her whole body shake with the uncontrolled pleasure that erupted through her body.
— Say my name, say the name of the owner of this pussy and this body. — Aemond grunted, slapping her pearl sharply and Y/n saw stars. She came screaming his name at the top of her lungs to anyone who would listen.
— Whore. — Aemond moaned in her ear as he continued fucking her. — Filthy whore. — He bit her ear as she cried amidst her orgasm. — My little whore.
— Yours. — She cried, rubbing herself against him uncontrollably, even with the pain of overstimulation. — You whore, only yours.
And Aemond came deep inside her with a moan that sounded like a growl as he bit and sucked on her neck.
— Never do that again, wife, or I guarantee you I won't be so indolent. — Her husband's breathless voice sounded against her neck.She nodded weakly and with no more strength in her body, she collapsed onto the table again.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
The sun was high in the sky when Y/n woke up the next day, still naked as on her name day, alone in bed and with all her painful limbs. Aemond, as always, had left very early, and she got up from the bed with difficulty, feeling her legs wobble like she hadn't felt since her first night with her husband.
She walked slowly to the mirror and sighed at the image before her, bruises of all colors covered her body, neck, thighs, hips, waist, ass, breasts. All covered in Aemond's handprints or her bite marks.
She smiled mischievously as she watched herself and lightly bit her lower lip as she remembered the other night. She barely noticed the door opening, and only looked up when she heard it close. Through her mirror her gaze met Aemond's and she could see his eyes burning like fire as he addressed her.
She had awakened the dragon, and now there would be no turning back.
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shirefantasies · 2 months ago
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Hi 🍄your work is so incredible! You’re literally keeping my hobbit/Tolkien hyper-fixation alive. I was wondering if you would want to write a first kiss situation with thorins company/hobbit characters? I hope your surgery goes well and you have a easy and speedy recovery!
Thank you what an honor omg!!! Man the surgery itself was ok but everything after was NOT IT 😭 so glad to be doing better now! This is a great idea & I sure do want to write it🫡😁 sorry it took so long because this request is apparently like 5 months old 🥲
Warning: loooooong post lololol, minor blood/injury mentions, some suggestive jokes/moments, corny at times hehe
Your First Kiss With the Hobbit Characters
Balin
“You can’t keep running off like that, you know.” Fingers closed around your wrist, but not so tightly as to provide entrapment, rather a secure anchor. Secure as the comfort of Balin’s deep brown gaze, something deep sparkling in his eyes you could never find elsewhere. Beads of sweat slid down your back as your breathing slowed, the adrenaline of battle washing away. Balin knew that feeling, saw it in you. “I know,” you answered, chest falling with a hard exhale, “But I can hardly leave everyone resigned to their fate when I can help.” It was then Balin’s turn to sigh. “I know, too,” he told you, rotating his grip around your wrist so the back of your hand was enveloped in his palm, “I suppose I am just being selfish.” Some number of seconds of you gaping passed before you managed to stutter out three words. “Does that mean…?” “Aye,” was all he said as he squeezed your hand, glancing down until you cupped his cheek, bringing his gaze back into yours before tugging him into your lips for one last adrenaline wave.
Dwalin
"You?" "Were you expecting Mahal himself?" You chirp in response, leaning on your hand and giving Dwalin a catlike smile. Unfazed, he continues. "What are you doing here?" "What do you think?" You answer with a question of your own, this one far less teasing. Softer. "You can't keep coming back. This is dangerous." Dangerous, he says as if it is not he who lies in a healer's tent with a broken arm freshly set and Valar know how many other bandages. Pain and pity cross your expression as you peer down at the warrior, rest your palm over his tattooed hand. "I can't lose you, too," he adds, gaze drifting from yours and eyelashes fluttering downward sheepishly, "You are far too precious. Too pure." Rosy glow overtakes you, shining outward through your smile and into your fingers, which spread to interlock with Dwalin's. "And too foolish, I suppose, for you, Master Dwalin, will never be rid of me. Do not let yourself be taken by such folly, for nothing is purer than you deserve, my hero." You feel his hand flex beneath you; his eyes finally flicker back upward before darting back shut as he leans up, cupping your cheek with his free hand. You taste salt and breaths of anticipation, war, relief, and love all in one. Pure indeed.
Thorin
A gasp startled you out of your dazed stare into the night, fire flickering at your back as you watched over empty hills. Turning your back to it, you returned your attention to those whom you presided over, protected for the night. The sight of Thorin bolting upright gave you pause, but soon you were at his side. “Are you alright?” “…Yes.” The king-to-be would not meet your eyes, his gaze falling into the shadows the fire cast upon his countenance. “Look at me.” Your command alone was enough to snap his head up; never had you spoken so to him or used do broken a tone. Thorin’s brows furrowed. “Worry not. It was just a dream.” “That was no dream,” you shot back, all but whispering. “No.” Thorin smiled wryly. “Sometimes it all comes back. I see it in the night when I cannot fight. I am helpless to it all. They cannot be saved. Then I wake and I wonder if it is to be so.” “No,” you laid your hand over his, “This weight is not yours alone. All of us are here with you, right? I am here with you.” A genuine smile crossed Thorin’s face, a shake of his head in wonder followed by a slow nod. “Thank you.” “Of course,” you answer. As you shifted, Thorin tightened his grip on your hand. “Stay.” “I will,” you told him, “I will.” “Good.” Not another word passed between your lips before they connected, passing over each other in moonlit words unspoken.
Oin
You hadn't even realized you were wounded at first. Shock overtaking you, you had run across the battlefield in pursuit of your comrades, only for them to gape and point at the blood seeping from your leg. You were fine, you assured them, but having none of it they hoisted you up over one shoulder each and dragged you over to a healer's tent, by which point a sharp sting had begun coursing up the expanse of your right leg. You were lowered down onto the tent's cushion-lain floor with it extended, and only when you looked up were you made aware of the familiar face before you. "Oin!" At your exclamation, the healer looked up and gave such a smile of recognition that your heart flipped. He spoke your name, too, although he did not match your enthusiasm, instead calling out with worry. "It's all right," you reassured him, "Not much more than a scratch." Rolling up your trouser leg, though, Oin winced at the blood before he began cleaning it. His bearded face fell into something much more serious than you were used to; for once he wasn't joking around as the jolly dwarf you knew and loved. That facade, the great focus, lasted the entire time he tended to you in fact. His hands were so dedicated and gentle as they worked over your torn skin. Upon completing your bandaging, he peered t you, dark eyes now intent upon yours. "You'll be fine." "Were you worried?" You couldn't help chuckling a bit. No healer were you, but the wound was nowhere near grievous or life-threatening. "Of course I was," Oin agreed without hesitation, "You know how much I care about you, don't you?" "I-" Lips parting, you stuttered for a moment. In your hesitation, Oin's hand found yours and gently brought you closer until his lips hit yours, beard tickling your cheeks. "Maybe now you do," he told you, smiling as you separated, "Now get some rest, alright?"
Gloin
“If you two do not stop acting like children," Gloin called to the princes, "We will treat you like children!” “What’ll you do,” Kili countered with crossed arms, smiling at his older brother, “Put us in the corner?” “We absolutely will,” you chimed in, mirroring the younger prince’s posture, “With pleasure, you ruffians!" "You two are like an old married couple," Fili tutted, shaking his head. "That's right," you agreed, grabbing Gloin's face with both hands and yanking him into a quick kiss that had one prince whooping and one calling out in disgust as they ran off. "What in Mahal's name was that?" Gloin asked you as you separated, auburn brows raised in distinct spite of the fact you'd felt him kiss you back. "Sorry, too much? I knew it'd scare them off. Might make them talk as well, though." "I wanted to kiss you first!" Gloin complained, pouting beneath his beard and prompting you to giggle as he took your hand, ready to make a more serious confession.
Bifur
Feet thudding against the ground, you ignored the shocks to your ankles and sprinted further. Dust clouds kicked up, but you clamped your mouth shut and ran, scanning across the black splatters of orcs’ blood and sheens of fallen blades. None of it stopped until you caught the sight of familiar braids, of black hair spilling out beneath a head trickling blood. “Bifur…” You whispered. He took your hand, gazing up at you with sad eyes. Muttered something faintly in Khuzdul…did you catch the word love? Your answer came in the way he leaned to press your forehead against his, ignoring the fresh wound and the axe still embedded in it. “I’ll take care of you,” you promised, “I love you.” Your lips met with all the passion of admission and promise and hope of recovery.
Bofur
“Come on now, won’t you have a drink?” You reached out a hand, wrapping it around the tankard over Bofur’s own gloved fingers, though you didn’t accept it straightaway. Instead, you kept your hand where it was and leaned in over the liquor. “Are you trying to get me tipsy, sir?” You teased. “Why, what’ll you do if you do get tipsy?” Bofur shot back with a playful, lopsided grin. “Use your imagination,” you replied, loosening your grip on the tankard and subsequently Bofur’s hand. The dwarf, however, was not giving up so easily. “Well, as a tipsy person myself, I suppose I would imagine something like this.” Tugging your hand back into his, Bofur ignored the tankard completely in favor of pressing his lips to yours, his mustache tickling your cheeks as you surrendered to the reverie of his lips’ sweet dominance. When you finally pull away, you both wore his playful look. “Alright, now I’m trying to get you tipsier,” you told him.
Bombur
“Wait, come back!” For a moment you thought you would finally get to thank the mysterious gifter of sweets, the one who left baskets of baked goods at the edges of your garden. Always tied with a different patterned bow, this time a gold-edged ribbon of maroon. Standing up, you’d made to follow the sound of footsteps only to see a form rounding the corner, just a wide bit of cloak trailing. “Please!” You turned around one way then whipped back the other when a skidding scraped the walls of your ears. Facing you was a very stocky, flaming-haired dwarf with his hands folded politely in front of him and rocking on his heels. "Since you said please," he said, his voice simple and sweet and a little bit scared. "I've really wanted to meet you," you told him, stepping forward, "To thank you." “Are you disappointed now?” Your gifter asked. “I promise I can do more than bake, I can fight, I will fight for-” Resting a hand on his shoulder, you shook your head. “You’re sweet enough for me just as you are. Never before have I had a secret admirer- someone who went to so much effort. That alone is amazing. Enough.” “You’re too sweet for me.” Pulling him closer by the hand upon his shoulder, you pressed a little kiss to his lips. “Just. Enough. Now, can I know my baker’s name?”
Dori
Of all the company members, only one of them supplied you with a spool of his own thread. Thick thread glittering with slivers of metallic sheen interwoven between lighter strips of the tiny cords. "So it matches the rest of my coat, you know," Dori explained, eyes flitting a bit sheepishly. "Ah," you set down your usual spool, a plainer brownish roll you'd just been using on one of Kili's pockets, "I see." You'd barely glanced up from your work, from ensuring you did not strike the thimble upon your finger, until you noticed the way Dori wouldn’t meet your eyes. “I…I know I’m a lot to deal with,” he said, “But it’s just that I know how I like things! I can’t help it.” “I do not think you’re a lot to deal with,” you replied, giving the dwarf your fully undivided attention, “I would be happy to deal with you.” The way his blue eyes widened, you could tell Dori was nowhere near expecting such a response, natural as it came to you. “Would you really?” “More than happy,” you added with a nod. “Well,” he fiddled with his hands, shifting closer to where you sat, “I would be more than happy to care for you in return.” “You already do,” you told him, eyelashes fluttering, “That is what I love about you.” Your allure got to Dori then, all glitter of threads fading in favor of your eyes, which he fell into, and your lips, which he leaned into.
Nori
“Get back here!” Chasing after Nori, you called out to the dwarf, who looked back over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. Of all things, he’d chosen to nick your undergarments, the fiend. Of course. Wheeling about, Nori ran up to a large rock and jumped up to the top of it, finally towering over you. He leaned down, your undergarments clutched triumphantly in his gloved hand as your noses nearly brushed. You could feel the warmth of his breath upon your face as you gazed upward, frown faltering and words failing at this new development. Nori, of course, still looked quite smug and had no trouble speaking. Remaining exactly where he was, he remarked, "Well, this is fun, isn't it?" "No," you answered, arms crossed, "It is not. Give those back!" "You're gonna have to make me, hm?" Fine. Two could play at that game. Frustration roiled in your chest, a fire burning as you eyes met Nori's. This whole charade had you quite ready to sacrifice whatever shred of dignity you had left to fight scoundrel with scoundrel. Taking the dwarf roughly by the collar, you yanked him into you and joined your lips. He fought back quickly, far less stunned and more passionate than you'd have expected. You were happy to escalate...at least until your hand slid down, felt his relax and drop the stolen article entirely. Jackpot. All but shoving Nori back, you mirrored his earlier smirk as you strode away, taking your turn to triumphantly brandish your undergarments. "Thank you, sir."
Ori
On the edge of your seat is the only phrase you could use to describe your position as you leaned over to watch Ori's work, the way his thick fingers slid so lightly over paper, creating shadows and the faintest of lines with subtle variations in that gentle pressure. Your eyes darted between his hand and his profile, staring as if keeping the focus in those brown eyes burning with the heat of your gaze. It is amazing that Ori can do that; you tell him as much. "Want to try?" He invites, profile swiveling to face you. "I can show you." You gave a nod, reaching out a hand in anticipation of pencil's weight. Thus it fell, but around your newly-filled palm his hand closed, coarse and warm fabric closing yours and lowering it to the paper. Several layered flushes of joy radiated through you as Ori glided you around, completing the lines of leaves upon a tree. "How's that?" An uncertain amount of time passed before he turned again to face you, this time inches from you given your shift and joined hands. "...Good?" The hitch of his breath and the quietening of his voice snapped something in you. Ori, too, for he leaned in and met you halfway through the inches, his lips connecting softly, joyously, to yours, only intensifying that soaring feeling.
Fili
"What's wrong?" "Can't sleep." "So you thought you'd bother me instead?" "Bother you?" You feigned offense. "Is that what my presence does?" "Your presence, no," Fili shook his head, "The way you keep kicking at my boots? Needless to say, yes." Grinning wickedly from your seated position, you gently darted out your foot to nudge his again, leading the dwarf to lean down to your level. "Do you want us all to get in danger? Is that it? I'm on watch, you know. You're risking the lives of all of us by distracting me." "Is that so?" "So it is." Nudge. This time, your foot slid along the length of his boot's side after you gave him your little kick. "That's it." Whirling around, mustache braids swishing with the motion, the golden-haired prince knelt down, his face inches from yours. "If you don't stop, I'll make you." Backing down was not in your vocabulary. "Make me," you commanded, voice low and expression smug and satisfied as ever. Before you could get another breath in Fili's lips were crashing onto yours, his facial hair tickling your cheeks in contrast to the hard, fast contact you made. His legs quickly wrapped around your waist, entrapping you beneath him as he cupped your cheeks in his hands, diving deeper and exploring your depths as far as he could for what felt like minutes until you finally parted for need of air. Fili's light blue eyes pierced yours intently, hungrily, as you stared back at him with much greater satisfaction than ever. "You're risking the lives of us all getting distracted," you repeated his words back to him, tracing a finger along one of his coat flaps. "I'll risk my life for you any day," Fili replied, cupping your cheek again and pulling you close, this time for a much slower, sweeter kiss that finally, finally, had you speechless.
Kili
“I’m bored,” you half-jokingly whined, eyes rolling back to look at Kili from the log you had draped yourself along. Straddling the log, he turned, leaning down to fix you with that glittering brown stare you loved. “What do you want me to do, hm?” Heart flipping, you swallowed, but painted a flippant smile across your face. “Entertain me.” “Entertain you?” He repeated, his own expression blooming with mischief. “Lot of ways I can do that.” “Well,” you crossed your arms, blood rushing to your head just as much from him as your upside-down position, “Choose one, then.” “Alright,” Kili hovered closer, his breath fanning your already-heated cheeks, “Let me know how this works, then.” The moment his lips crashed into yours, you responded, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his flowing black locks, which had a few leaves caught in them but still remained soft. As you gave them a little tug, Kili parted your lips for deeper entrance. You enjoyed your upside-down kiss right up to the moment you parted for breath, panting as he smirked down at you. “Still bored?”
Bilbo
Fog overtook the corners of your mind, dusting all your intents and purposes with a haze of questions. What were you doing in such a musty old place anyway? A voice at your side expressed a need for air. Why, you wondered as you jumped, startlement pumping pure adrenaline into your blood, were you with someone with a piece of axe blade protruding out of his head? Would the same happen to you? No, he was important, wasn't he? Think, think... Before you could get much thinking done, a hand clasped around yours. This time, the warm weight didn't have you jumping as far but it did pull you along, right along to the edges of the trees where you found yourself climbing after... Bilbo! Bilbo, the hobbit, the burglar, of course! The higher up you went, the more your lungs swelled and your head steadied with relief. How could you have been scared of sweet Bifur or not recognized Bilbo? Laughter sounded a bit above you; climbing faster, you burst from the treetops and squinted as you met the sun. Joined Bilbo's sweet mirth of relief and wonderment as light scattered over the clouds, illuminating the wings of gorgeous blue butterflies streaming out of the rustling leaves. "This is beautiful," you remarked, forgetting yourself and all the troubles of the forest as suddenly as they'd come on. "I'm glad you came with me," Bilbo told you softly. Turning away from the butterflies, you faced him only to see his grey eyes peering at you with the most utter sincerity. Had he drawn closer? A wave of emotion crashed over you, cresting as you closed the gap completely, feeling him gasp against your lips before he dove in himself. Sweet, gentlemanly, Bilbo never forced entry, his focus dedicated to a loving embrace of your lips alone. Giggling like a schoolchild as you pulled away, you grinned at the hobbit, whose expression you could only describe as starstruck. "I... am very glad you came with me," he remarked.
Thranduil
The king needed no advisors. Long had it been since he would have desired them, but concerns had grown and Thranduil did nothing if not care ruthlessly for his people. Thus, members of the nobility like yourself had come together as a council for the Woodland Realm’s ruler. Thranduil had been willing to listen, but your words grated against his like a block sharpening a blade; it seemed as though your every policy fought his in some way. Twice the meeting devolved into the two of you going back and forth across the table from your seats, which were quite unfortunately directly opposite one another. Such a scene it had felt to be that the king tarried in his room of council to speak to you at meeting’s end. “Do you take some form of issue with me?” Looking confident as you had in the meeting, you crossed your arms, smirking. “I take issue with your policies.” Thranduil must confess that in that moment he was shocked by the opposition, brows raising at your bold statement. “And you think you know what is best for our people?” “Maybe I do. They put me on your council, after all.” “You,” with great resounding taps the king crosses the room to stand before you, his face mere inches from yours, “would have us put at great risk right as we hit a point of prosperity.” “I would have us realize the threats at hand,” you replied cooly, tilting your head but balking not at all from the proximity. Thranduil moves ever so much closer, shaking his head and almost brushing his nose against yours with the motion. “Reckless warmongering.” “Hiding in fear,” you challenge back, smirking. “Do you wish to be shown your place?” “Do you need to ask?” A guard crossed briefly into the room, soft address of ‘my king’ dying upon his shortened breath at the sight of said ruler embroiled in a passionate battle for lingual dominance against one of his councilors.
Bard
You were never sure how the bowman felt about you. Certainly he was friendly and enjoyed spending time with you enough, but to what end? Perhaps you were doomed to live a life upon the edge of questioning. And yet the worst part was, you had yet to discover why you didn't entirely mind. Why, in fact, you found yourself in his barge once again, paddling out beyond the horizon of cobbled together buildings leaning into each other. Just as you could lean further into the thick brown furs of Bard's coat, perhaps even feeling it against your cheek as you lean against his shoulder. As it was, you simply stood at his invitation to take up steering, moving to the other side of the boat. Unbeknownst to you, however, Bard had left one of his fishing nets on the floor; shoe’s edge catching on the tightly connected loops of rope, you tumbled forward and made an unfortunate pitch into the cold lake. Swirling into the water and kicking back up through it did not last long, and soon Bard’s hand reached out to grab yours and pull you back into shivering safety. “Are you hurt?” He asked, hands hovering over your folded legs, the ankle you’d caught. Heart swelling over the look of concern in his dark eyes, all you could do was shake your head. Folding himself, Bard dropped to his knees at your side. “Good. I was worried about you.” “You were?” You asked dumbly, ready to blame shock over such a foolish question. You needed not, though, could not- not when his lips fell immediately upon yours.
Beorn
Neighbors minded their own business. This was a simple fact of making one's home out in the far woods, out also where more and more orcs and foul things had begun to roam. Thus you had always been left to wonder who the owner of the wonderful cottage you passed by was, never seeing a single soul beyond the great deal of livestock and pleasantly plump bees flitting about the immaculately-tended flowers. Was it a woman? A man? Some sort of trap like in the old tales where places and faces so fair were always the deadliest? But who, then, would be twisted enough to craft a trap so admittedly perfect in your mind... Such thoughts did not penetrate the desperation clouding your mind the day your beloved cow, the one you'd had from a young age, strained with the aching struggle of a birth gone wrong, your feet carrying you straight to your neighbor's door. If she died, you would lose a major source of subsistence alongside one of your few friends in the whole lonely woods. The look in her big brown eyes was all you could see as you rapped on the door, your look of pleading meeting yet another big brown stare, this time upon a man with a stern face and a great mass of brown hair. Brows furrowed in confusion and perhaps slight annoyance as they were, he had no chance to speak ill before you were begging him to come help your cow, you'd seen the shape his were in after all and you could tell they were loved, please, you needed his strength- she did. The unspoken promise that the man would see you this once, then never again, hung in the air as you led him to your home, to your pasture, to the dear friend whose life he saved. “Thank you, truly,” you told him as he made to leave, “You may not wish it, but you are welcome here anytime.” Before he could say anything, you leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. Not realizing, of course, that he was turning his head, connecting your lips for the briefest of moments before you stared at him wide-eyed. “You might see me again,” he told you with a small, wry smile.
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araminakilla · 2 years ago
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Regarding Death Wolf...
Hear me out (NO, it's not the kind you are thinking)
We know Death has a job, right? To collect souls and most likely release them to the afterlife.
And for this job, he has to be there when somebody is about to die, as demostrated with him being there moments before Puss' eight death.
Supposing he is THE Death and he has been doing this since the beginning of time (or at least when there were enough stories of the Grim Reaper to adquire a physical form) that means he has seen a lot, A LOT of awful things.
Murders, suicides, massacres, death of infants, people who didn't deserve to die alone, animal cruelty, some other heavy stuff I won't mention here, etc etc etc.
And we thought "man, how is he able to cope with all of that? That job has to be utter torture for someone."
Probably many of you could think that he is able to do that because he is Death, and he was "born" with that purpose and only him can reap souls perfectly.
But while he is a force of nature, he also WAS a force of nature. Let me explain it well: He adquired a personality enough to be angry, excited, frustrated, amazed, happy, among other emotions.
While he has supernatural power and is most likely the most powerful being in the Shrek Franchise (or in Dreamworks as many say) he is also a PERSON.
Someone with a code of honor, morals, opinions, beliefs, etc.
Returning to the question "How can he bear all of that?" taking into account he is no longer an inevitable force, but a character of his own.
The answer is something you may relate to, and that is: Creativity and escapism.
To be the embodiment of Death, the guy is a very creative fella.
First of all, his design. I heard many people saying here and in Twitter that his design is something they would come up in their edgy, teen years of drawing their first fursona.
Guess what? They are right, the wolf form is someone's fursona. It's DEATH'S fursona. He clearly came up with this badass, piercing canine form to blend with the Fairy Tale Land assuming the form of the "Big Bad Wolf". He most likely had other forms he designed over the centuries and was able to present as them like if he were on a role play game in the living world.
His sickles? The weapon of choice with the little crossed cats on it to have a bigger effect of terror for Puss? Those who can become knuckles and join to create a scythe? Those are his creation, probably after thinking it for a while and writing all of those functions on a paper.
The way he presents himself? In the bar? The coins in his eyes as a "watching you" sign while being a cool reference to the Ferryman of souls? He transforming Perrito's forest into the background of a skull? The chilling reveal at the Cave of Lost Souls? The fire ring? It was all him.
As for the escapism part...
When the world becomes too heavy to deal with as real life issues tend to make us feel bad, depressed, angry... we tend to escape it somewhere. And in our time the common place would be the internet as in webpages or comics, stories, etc.
But what has to do with Death Wolf you may ask?
Well, while he would NEVER be able to escape his job entirely, he can have moments where he can enjoy a good hunt of people who don't appreciate life, like the whole plot of the Puss in Boots sequel could demostrate.
He managed to have a little time outside his eternal routine to chase an arrogant cat who took life for granted. He enjoyed it, it was thrilling, it was exciting.
It was a way to escape a monotonous, grim "life", if just for a short moment.
So, when the chase ended as his prey no longer feared him and now was ready to fight for his last life, the wolf retreats, happy for Puss' character development but resigned because he once again had to return to "The Eternal Duty"
And that's not even counting all the times Jack "I'm dead inside" Horner had to interrupt Lobo's hunt and remind him of his job even in his "spare time"
Death knew the chase had to end eventually, but he didn't want it to end.
He didn't want to return to his own world
And if we look at Death like that, then he is probably one of the most relatable characters Dreamworks has ever make.
In the Shrek Franchise:
Monsters can be loved
Princesses don't have to fit the perfect standards of beauty
Handsome guys can be possesive jerks
Love at first sight doesn't work like one would think
Happily ever afters had to be built and not just obtain them with magic
And Death is the most creative and "full of life" being in the world
Because he would absolutely go crazy with his life/work if he wasn't.
Because in a world of Kings, Poets and Soldiers, he's the Supreme King
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And he's also a perky goth but none of you are ready for that conversation.
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sky-scribbles · 9 months ago
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All right, BG3 gang, let me tell you about the incredible, accidental drama that happened when I went to save everyone in the iron Throne.
I messed up my first two attempts spectacularly, so when I reloaded for my third try, I was resolved. I was going to stick with the results of this run, no matter what. The countdown starts; Karlach runs off to grab the Gondians, my Tav Wildshapes and goes sprinting away to save Omeluum, and Gale Dimension Doors himself and Wyll right to Ulder.
As the boys take Ulder back up the corridor, Mizora appears with her exploding spiders. Gale drops a Globe of Invulnerability over Ulder, and runs off to save the last few Gondians while Wyll starts mopping up spiders. ‘This is great!’ I say to myself.
Then the last spiders run into the Globe of Invulnerability. They can’t hurt Ulder, but Wyll can’t hurt them, and if Ulder leaves the globe, they can explode him.
‘This is not great,’ I say, as Wyll spends several rounds shoving spiders out of the globe so he can kill them.
I finally kill the spiders. Wyll and Ulder sprint for the exit. It’s the final round, everybody else is safe, if they can just make it to the ladder –
They are ten feet of movement short. Everyone who could possibly help has already taken their turn in initiative – except for Omeluum.
Omeluum can teleport itself and one other person to the submersible.
And I realise what I’m going to have to do. Mechanically, the choice is clear: Withers can resurrect Wyll, but not Ulder. And from an in-universe perspective, the choice is even more obvious. Even in a world where, as in my game, Wyll has broken his pact. Even when he’s resigned himself to losing his father. Even when he signed Ulder’s life away in the hope of being free. There’s no question what he’d do in that moment, is there? When the choice is Wyll lives, but his father definitely dies or Wyll maybe dies, but his father definitely lives – with a second left to choose –
Wyll would shove his father to Omeluum and say, ‘Go.’
Omeluum teleports Ulder to safety. The submersible leaves, the facility comes crashing down, and Wyll is gone. To save his father.
And you know what absolutely destroyed me? Because the dev team can't possibly think of everything, especially this extremely specific and devastating scenario I've just landed myself in... there's no change in the dialogue with Ulder once I resurrect Wyll. He still tells Wyll he’s ashamed to have his blood run in his veins. He still accuses Wyll, who just traded his life to save him, of running off to chase a devil and her power.
I cannot even begin to describe how devastating that was to watch. Because it made me think – would Ulder change his tune in that scenario? I don’t know if he would. Oh, he’d be shaken, for certain, as he watches Tav and the gang sobbing, banging on the submersible hatch. As the tadpole’s grip loosens, the awful realisation would sink in – my son, my son – but how long before he tries to shield himself from that pain? How long before he says to himself – even says out loud, to Wyll’s grieving, furious friends, he was not my son, not anymore – I saw his face, and it was the face of a devil –
And even after he knows the truth, and Wyll is back, what then? Wyll still drowned in fire and iron and water to save his father’s life, and Ulder still said, he was a devil, as if that made Wyll deserve it – and he can never, ever take that back.
(In sleepless moments, Wyll wonders: would he?)
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fanwarriorfictions · 6 months ago
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Not Again - Part Thirteen
Summary: With Y/n reunited with her family, her and Az must face their inevitable fate, the exact reason Azriel hid the mating bond in the first place, their ending.
Warnings: ANGST!!!!! Light smut, and more angst
Series Masterlist
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-Part Thirteen-
With a sword pressed to his back, dangerously close to his wings, he really should have listened. Azriel did the opposite, holding Y/n tighter to his chest, the words not quite registering, only the immediate danger to him, to his mate. Shadows swarmed around them, ready to defend, to kill.
“Gods,” Y/n groans, harshly pulling away, glaring over his shoulder, “Could you not?”
Azriel didn’t let her go far, instinct screaming to protect her from whatever dangers were behind him. His hand firmly holds hers as he turns to look over his shoulder, finding that sword still leveled at him, and a large fae male behind it. If Azriel wasn’t so concerned with protecting his mate, he’d be more than a little nervous of the foreboding male.
White hair, braided back from his face, sprawling tattoos going down one side, continuing to his neck, and onto the arm holding his weapon, in a language Azriel couldn’t read. The male was large, he could put even Cassian to shame in sheer size, daggers strapped to every part of his body, clad in fighting leathers. His green eyes were narrowed, lethal focus on Azriel, on the hand holding Y/n’s. Azriel almost snarled that attention, Y/n beat him to it.
Teeth bared at the male, she growls, “Put your sword down.”
Azriel’s shadows were frantically swirling around and around, trying to hide her from the male’s view. She hisses at them, and as if they answered to her, they backed off.
“I’ll kill him,” the male replies coldly, voice like the harshest winter.
“Now is not the time for you to go over protective dad mode,” she snaps at the male, “Put the sword down.”
And just like, the words finally register in Azriel’s mind. Take your hands off my daughter. Mother spare him, this was Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius, one of the most powerful fae males in her world, her father, here, in his home, speaking his language.
That revelation left him reeling. They’d opened a gate, she’d reunited with her family, and she was still here. Still with him.
“Threatening lover boy without me?”
He didn’t need to be told who the female was, Y/n had inherited the very cadence of her voice, that confidence, that soft, swirling accent. Queen Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius, gods killer, his mate’s mother. From the stories she’d told him of both her parents, he wasn’t sure which one to be more terrified of. Perhaps the father who had just caught him thoroughly kissing his daughter.
“Mom please,” Y/n sighs, “He just woke up from almost dying. He doesn’t need you two threatening his life.”
“He seems fine,” the golden queen shrugs, turquoise eyes examining him intently, “Fine enough to be pawing after you like a dog.”
“Gods spare me,” Y/n groans beside him, resigned to whatever was about to happen.
Aelin stalks closer, Azriel felt like he was being hunted, maybe he should be more concerned about her. She moves with grace, surpassing that of usual fae stillness, an assassin, a warrior, a queen. There’s a brilliant blade in her hands, an ancient presence, something made like his dagger, like Gwydion. It has an intricate golden hilt, a large ruby set into the pommel, when she raises the sword, level with Azriel’s throat, golden flames coat the blade, hot enough to bring sweat to his brow in seconds.
Y/n hisses, shoving herself between Azriel and that sword of fire. Despite knowing that she was essentially fire proof, and that her mother would never willingly harm her, Azriel wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her to his chest, shadows tightening around them, ready to shield them.
Aelin’s eyes sparkle with amusement, practically twinkling in the light of her flames, “Don’t get all huffy, I only want to offer him some advice.”
“Is Goldryn necessary for that?” Y/n snaps, gripping onto Azriel’s arm.
Aelin ignores her daughter, looking directly into Azriel’s eyes, “I know what you did for her, all of it, the weight you shouldered alone.”
Azriel doesn’t miss the flash of emotion in Rowan’s face, that look of old pain. It echoes in Aelin’s, tinged with guilt. There was a story there, and it wasn’t a happy one.
“I know you took that arrow for her gladly,” the queen continues, “That you would do it again, my advice is simple, dying for her is easy, getting yourself killed in some heroic need to protect her, is easy, but in the end she’s the one who truly gets hurt, having to watch you die, having to live with that hole in her chest where you used to be.
“Live for her, fight for her, and know, that if you ever hurt her.” The fire on that ancient powerful blade burns brighter, hotter. “If she doesn’t do it for me first, I will kill you, and I know a thousand ways to do it, each more painful than the last.”
Azriel simply nods once, holding Y/n to him, she didn’t need to warn him, he would sooner die on his own blade than hurt the female in his arms. Aelin, seemingly satisfied, lowers that flaming sword, Rowan stepping to her side, that harsh glare, cold, promising a slow painful death, Aelin smiles warmly at her mate, a vicious gleam in her eye.
They made a menacing image, Azriel remembers teasing Y/n when she’d first arrived, of how it must have been to bring partners home, he understood why some ran screaming. He prayed they hadn’t brought the Witch Queen with them.
“As much as I love Azriel getting threatened by the in-laws.” Rhys casually strolls around the corner, hands in his pockets, “Would you all care for breakfast?”
Azriel gave his brother a scathing glare, opening his mind, you couldn’t have come to my rescue sooner?
You’re the one who shoved your tongue down their daughter’s throat, where we could all hear you might I add, Rhys grins, gesturing to the dining room behind him, “Shall we.”
Y/n had nervously placed herself between her mate and her parents, her mother by her side, unbelievably grateful for Cassian who had taken up the empty seat on Azriel’s right, Nesta beside him, taking up the rest of their side of the table.
There were to many glaring sets of eyes on Azriel to count, to his credit, he didn’t back down from any of them, that calm mask firmly in place as he met every single one.
“Well this is just wonderful isn’t it?” Rhys grins from ear to ear, fighting back a laugh when Feyre smacks his arm. “We’ve been getting acquainted with your new extended family, Az.”
Across from her sat her uncles, all glaring and sizing up Azriel like they were ready to leap across the table and tear him to shreds, all but Fenrys who was grinning just as devilishly as Rhys.
“You disappear for nearly two months and come back with a guy with wings,” he laughs, it seems almost threatening, “At least he’s pretty.”
“Debatable,” her father says quietly, stabing his fork into a poor unsuspecting strawberry on his plate.
Beside Fenrys, Lorcan looks almost as murderous as her father, glaring past her at her mate. Y/n doesn’t miss the way Cassian sizes her uncle up from Azriel’s side. Even sitting, Lorcan towers over everyone around him.
Aedion sat to his right, the wolf practically snarling. He might have been one of the most protective of her uncles, he’d had more than his fair share of scaring off her past partner’s. Lysandra beside him eyes narrowed as if she’d shift into an actual wolf, together they’d had boys screaming as they ran from her home.
“Hands off,” Y/n halfheartedly snaps at Fenrys, fighting to break some tension, “He’s mine.”
She can feel a ripple of satisfaction from Azriel. Again, Y/n sends the word down that bridge, mine. He entwines his hand with hers, squeezing once in response, mine.
On Fenrys’s other side sat Chaol and Yrene, Dorian at her side, they were the only ones not seemingly premeditating murder, but her uncle Dorian was a master of hiding his true thoughts. He could easily smile at someones face, and send a shard of ice into their back. Y/n thanked any god or mystical force, the mother, the cauldron, the Wyrd, that Manon was not with him.
The witch would never admit it, had only let Y/n call her aunt once in her life, but she was sure Manon had hunted down one of her poor exes. There was no tears shed when the male had wound up missing.
Beside Dorian sat Rhys, separate she wouldn’t have necessarily made the connection, but side by side, they look eerily similar. Raven black hair, sharp jawlines, the only major difference was the eyes, blue to violet.
“I recognize you,” her mother says from her side, eyes trained on the Lord and Lady down the long table, “This place.”
“I’d had a theory,” Rhys says, “When dear Y/n had described your journey through worlds.”
Y/n feels the dots connect, she’s surprised she hadn’t done it before. Her mother had told her of the world of stars she’d fallen through, the male who’d slowed her down enough so that she could go home. The wings, the heavily pregnant female, the night kissed power that had slammed into her.
“You’re the one who slowed me down,” Aelin says, leaning back in her seat at the revelation, “Thank you for that, if it wasn’t for you, I might have never made it home.”
Her father takes her hand in his, pausing his glaring at Azriel long enough to nod his thanks to Rhys, turning back to her mother, the tell tale sign of a silent conversation passing between them.
“You were that red star?” Nesta asks, leaning forward to peer around Cassian at Aelin, “But that was only a few years ago. That happened many many years ago according to Y/n.”
“Time was strange when I was falling,” Aelin explains, “I fell through worlds, moving forward and backward in time and place. I fell into your future, twenty odd years seemingly.”
There was a brief pause as everyone takes in the information. Only a few years ago, her mother had been here, falling through the sky like a red falling star, Y/n hadn’t even been born and yet she fell into this word only a few years later. It was hard to wrap her mind around.
Cassian seems to finally finish his thorough examination, breaking the silence that had fallen, “How tall are you really?”
Lorcan simply gave the male a incredulous look, “Tall.”
Cassian sighs, “Why is there another one, we’ve already got a tall dark broody with Az.”
Azriel glares at him, “Really?”
Y/n grins, chuckling under her breath as he gives her a near perfect match of her uncle’s look. His eyes light with amusement, lips twitching like he was fighting a grin.
Cassian leans his elbows one the table, with a feral grin, “I bet I could-“
“Don’t make bets you can’t win,” Lorcan interrupts.
“I could definitely win,” Cassian scoffs, crossing his arms over his broad chest, perhaps to look threatening.
“No,” Lorcan says simply, “You couldn’t.”
“Don’t mind him,” Aelin waves off Lorcan, “He’s just grouchy because his wife had to stay home to watch over things.”
Lorcan turns his glare on Aelin, she only gives him a sweet smile. It instantly gets beneath his skin, his hands clenching into fist on the table. No matter the years they’ve spent as friends, Aelin never failed to annoy the male.
Azriel gently squeezes her hand, saying down that bond, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, exact same infuriating smile.
Y/n simply gives him one of her own, turning to look at the room full of her family and his, who slowly open up into uneasy conversation.
Nesta looks half ready to corner Lysandra to wring her for shifting stories. Dorian and Rhys look like mirrors talking, Feyre, Chaol, and Yrene talking beside them, glancing between the two with similar expressions of confusion. Poor Lorcan was not getting away from Cassian, with the help of Fenrys and Aelin.
The only one still silent, still paying attention to their hands entwined between them, her father. Rowan glares intently at the connection between them, Y/n was half tempted to hide her hand below the table, Azriel wasn’t having any of it. He held her firmly in place, scars fully on display, shadows gently twining over her wrist, caressing her skin in comfort. He held her father’s ice cold glare, met it with one of his own, the shadowsinger’s like the cold of darkness.
“He’s had enough, buzzard,” Aelin says quietly, her mother putting herself into Rowan’s view, “Save some of the threatening for later, you can sit by the door, sharpening your sword when he can come to visit.”
“Visit?” Azriel asks, a brow raised at Y/n.
“I was hoping to have this conversation later,” she glares at her mother who simply shrugs.
“What do you mean?” Azriel holds her hand tightly, like he was coming to his own conclusions, none of them good.
Y/n didn’t want this to happen now, for anyone else to be the one to tell him. She was still reeling from the pain of being told herself.
“We waited for you to wake up,” Rowan says, an edge to his voice, “For her sake.”
There were to many risks, to many long lost enemies that would be drawn. To go between worlds frequently, to open and close those gates to many times. They’d already opened so many, already tested their fate. So she had to make a choice, she had begged to wait for him before she made it.
“Wait to do what?”
Y/n could feel his panic down the bond, and she hates the words as they come from her mouth, “To go home.”
He knew it was coming, had known it from the moment Rhys told him she was his mate. It was the reason he didn’t tell her, the reason he’d fallen apart so spectacularly. Despite everything, of course she would still go home, still leave him, she was a princess, she had a destiny, a crown, a kingdom, and he, he was nothing.
He was a bastard nobody of a long dead lord. In what world would this female, this princess, stoop so low to be with him, to give up her crown?
“Az.”
Gentle, oh so gentle, as if she spoke softly it would keep him from shattering.
“Excuse me.”
Azriel stood, ignoring the eyes from every angle, concerned gazes, glares, all of it. He walked away, he didn’t break, didn’t fall apart, didn’t cry, didn’t scream, he just left. Put distance between him and the knowledge that he found this beautiful female, his mate, and fate would rip her away from him just like that.
“Az,” her voice almost broke him, “Hold on, stop for a second.”
He couldn’t, if he stopped he was scared he wouldn’t be able to hold himself up anymore, he would fall apart and he would never be able to put himself back together again.
“Az,” she pleads, running to catch up, “just hold on.”
Shadows screaming in his ears, stop, listen to her, stop, don’t let her go. He forces them away, forces his legs to keep moving, to find his room, to hide, hide, hide.
“Damnit, shadowsinger.” A hand wraps around his arm, nails digging into his skin to simply hold him in place, “Will you just listen to me.”
Azriel whirls around, and he does the one thing he could do without breaking completely, the only selfish thing he’d allow himself. He kisses her, putting every raging emotion he was feeling into his lips on hers, into his hands on either side of her face. She gasps and his tongue sweeps into her mouth, fighting, claiming, begging.
“Stay.”
One word, whispered against her lips, one word, one selfish selfish word. Azriel would never ask for anything else, would never need anything else, as long as she stayed.
“Az, I-“
He couldn’t do it, couldn’t listen to her say no, because she would, and he didn’t blame her for it, didn’t hate her for it, he couldn’t. He couldn’t.
He pulls her to him, lips crashing in desperation and despair. She doesn’t pull away, doesn’t continue to say those words, doesn’t break him. Azriel drops his hold on her face, reaching down to her thighs to lift her, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist when her legs wrap around him. He carries her, blindly finding his way to his room several doors down, closing them into the space, lips never parting from hers, never allowing those words to come.
Azriel pulls away, only long enough to find the bed, to gently lay her down atop it, settling above her. Her hands caressing his face, brushing through his hair, dragging her nails over his shoulders and chest as they undress each other. He takes his time, ignoring the ticking clock in his head that counts down to the inevitable end.
She’s just as beautiful as the first time he saw her, soft skin beneath his palms as he holds her, admires her. Undoing each lace of her leathers, watching the way she writhes beneath him, listening to the whines and pleas.
“Az,” she gasps, “please I-“
He tugs the material down, taking the small lace beneath with it until she’s completely bare beneath him.
“Beautiful,” he whispers, not trusting his voice as the emotions rise in his throat, as words beg to be let out.
She can feel it, feel everything, the tears he bites back, her eyes fill with them, quiet silver tears that roll down her cheeks. Azriel takes her in his arms, kissing away the hurt as best he could, their naked chest pressed against each other. He could feel her shaking, Azriel wasn’t sure if that was just him.
“Az,” she begs softly.
Azriel knew what she was pleading for, and he wouldn’t deny her, wouldn’t deny himself. They were both selfish, they both needed this, needed each other, even if it was the one and only time. They would take everything they could before it was taken from them.
He lays her down, softly kissing her cheeks, right over those tears, before sitting back, scarred hands undoing his own laces, quickly, desperately. There’s immense relief when he pulls the pants down his thighs, a strike of pure lust through him, from that bond, from her when she sees him standing naked before her.
“Please,” she begs again, hooking her legs around him to pull him close.
The briefest touch has him gasping, and when she lifts her hips, pressing her center to him, he groans. Dropping down to capture her lips again, tasting her moans as he slowly guides himself into her. Slow, he would need to be so slow, she’d been tight around just his fingers, he didn’t want to hurt her, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did.
“I’m not going to break,” she whispers against him, “Please, Az.”
Any control snaps when her voice wavers with the weight of her emotions, when she wraps her legs tightly around his waist and pulls, taking his breath away from him. Azriel had never felt anything like her, like their bodies along with their souls had been made for each other.
The sound she makes, the high breathy moan almost has him coming undone. He waits, letting her get used to the feeling, to the stretch, he kisses each of her cheeks, tasting the salt of her tears, and then he claims her lips, claims all of her, all that she can give, and he gives himself in return.
She writhes beneath him, silently begging him to move, he does, slowly dragging his length out, groaning against her lips, perfect, absolutely perfect. He rolls his hips, drawing sharp gasps from both of them, slow delicate movements to draw out their pleasure.
“Az, I-“ She gasps as he hits that spot deep inside her. “I-“
Azriel felt the words she tried to say, felt the emotion mirroring his own, felt his heart heal and break at the same time.
“I love you, Princess,” he whispers against her lips, his pace quickening, “I love you, I will love you even with a million stars between us.”
She cries, arching into him, matching each of his strokes. Bodies, minds, hearts, and souls completely intertwined, everything she felt, so did he, every emotion, every stroke, everything. He felt the tightening band in her core, threatening to snap and send them both over the edge.
“I love you,” she gasps out the words, struggling to speak around the pleasure and the pain, “I love you.”
And when she can’t speak it anymore, she chants it down that bond, I love you, I love you, I love you, my mate, those words are Azriel’s undoing. The band snaps, and both of them are thrown over the edge.
I love you too, Princess, he can’t find his voice, My beautiful mate.
She clings to him, like she’s terrified he will disappear at any moment, Azriel finds that’s exactly why he holds her just as tightly, sitting back, lifting her into his lap with his arms around her waist to have her as close as he physically can. Her arms wrap around his neck, nails digging into his skin like she could anchor herself to him.
In all their time together, he’d never actually heard her cry, not until now, the smallest, most heartbreaking noise, a whimper of pain. He can only hold her tighter as that small sound turns to a sob.
“It’s not fair,” she cries, burying her face into his neck, “None of this is fair. How could fate be so cruel, so gods damned cruel to gift me a mate, all the way across the stars, to bring me here, bring me you, just to rip us apart.”
Azriel wants to be strong, to just hold her, stay put together for her, but he can’t. The tears he desperately wanted to hide, to hold back, flood his eyes. And all either of them can do is cry, and hold onto each other.
They gave them time, time to be together, to cry, to feel everything they could offer each other.
Y/n had cried until she had nothing left to give. Azriel holding her through it all, listening when she’d finally gotten herself together to explain, to tell him what she’d been told.
That there were gates opening to worlds that should be long gone, that the threat of enemies like the valg, enemies stirring in this world even, was enough to keep them from coming and going from each others worlds, that it wasn’t forever, just long enough to find a solution, one they would work on in both worlds.
It was nearly nightfall by the time someone came knocking for them. Whoever was on the otherside waited patiently for them to dress, to have those last few moments together.
When Y/n finally had the courage to open the door, she’d been met by her mother’s turquoise eyes filled with love and understanding. She didn’t miss anything, the joined scents between them, the puffy red eyes, the hands that refused to let go.
“Everyone is waiting at the gate,” Aelin says gently, “We figured you would want to say goodbye.”
Azriel is a silent figure behind her, his hand never letting go of her own shaking one. They walk down those familiar halls, the house’s presence beside them, sad to see her go.
Y/n bows her head, a gesture of thanks to the first being in this world that had reached out a friendly hand and kept reaching despite her own protests.
Voices travel on a stray breeze, and Azriel’s hand shakes, that panic flowing like a river down the bridge of shadow between them. She never thought she would dread hearing her family.
“We’ll see each other again,” Dorian’s voice sounds, “We’ve had our best scholars looking into the gates while Y/n had been missing, we’ll continue searching for a solution.”
“As will we,” Feyre promises.
Y/n feels the tears welling up in her eyes again as they pass through the door way. Even in the large space, the sheer amount of bodies crowds the room. Her family, the one she’d been born with, had been surrounded by her entire life, and the family she was slowly growing into. Even Amren had shown up, the small female offering her a solemn bow of her head.
The gate was already open, and through it she could see Orynth, the setting Sun lighting the sky in brilliant colors, bright oranges and pinks slowly fading to deep purples and blues. And there, starting to faintly glow in the sky, the bright flame between his antlers, the Lord of the North, shining down on her, welcoming her home.
There were many eyes on her as the tears began to fall down her cheeks. The only thing keeping her from collapsing completely was Azriel by her side, his arm coming to wrap around her waist.
Azriel leans down to whisper in her ear, “He found you.”
She wasn’t lost anymore.
Her family said their goodbyes to the Inner Court, slowly filing through that gate until only her and her parents remained. Rowan still glares at that arm around her waist, but he raises his hand to Azriel’s free one. They shake once, and Y/n knows that her father was not holding back his strength in that grip.
“Take care of her,” Rowan says, and there’s a hard look in his eye, “I don’t care what hell it would bring down on us. If you ever hurt her, know that I will hunt you down through gates and worlds and I will kill you.”
Confusion lights her eyes, Azriel’s too, “I would never dream of hurting her.”
“What is this?” Y/n asks, searching her parent’s faces for an answer.
There’s a broken look in her mother’s eyes as she says, “Stay.”
Behind her, through that gate, her family stands united, sad smiles on their faces. It takes a moment for Y/n to understand, to grasp the words, the warning from her father, the gentle command from her mother.
“What? I- I don’t,” she struggles to find the words.
She staggers forward on shaking legs, Azriel letting her go. Her mother grabs her hands, steadying Y/n, she felt like she would fall apart at anymoment.
Aelin smiles, holding tightly to Y/n’s hands, “Stay, it won’t be forever, we will see you again.”
Her father stood beside them, a small heartbroken smile on his face. Y/n felt like the world was tipping beneath her feet.
“But,” Y/n felt like her throat was closing around the words, “I want to go home, that’s what I’ve been fighting for this whole time, to find my way home.”
And it was Rowan who said, looking over her shoulder, “You are home.”
Y/n follows his gaze, finding Azriel, a shattered expression on his face as he nods at her father. He’d made a promise to Rowan, and he would keep it.
“Stay,” Aelin says again, one hand lifting to Y/n’s cheek, swiping at the tears streaming down her face, “Live, be happy, love fiercely with everything in your heart, and know, that no matter how far away you are, the stag will always be there to watch over you.”
Y/n looks at that constellation through the gate, saw that brilliant stag watching her, watching the sky above like he could see all the way to the world she stood on now.
“We will always find you,” Rowan says, and she can hear the pain in her father’s voice, “I promise.”
“I’ll miss you every moment,” Aelin says, drawing Y/n into her arms, “But I will sleep peacefully knowing you’re here, safe, with him.”
She felt her legs give out, felt her father’s arms wrap around her and her mother as they all sank to the stone floors. Rowan held them all together, like he had always done. She felt like she was a child again, so small, so breakable, but with her family around her, she would always be safe.
“I love you both,” Y/n cries, “I will see you again.”
Aelin was the first to pull away, “We will see you again, my Fireheart.”
Rowan held on a moment longer, kissing that invisible mark on her brow like he’d done since she was a child. When he rose, taking Aelin’s hand, he looked past Y/n, to her mate standing behind her, Rowan bows his head just barely, a thank you. And her parents turned, and walked through that gate.
Y/n could only watch and cry as her family waved their finally goodbyes, as that gate closed between them, as the Lord of the North smiled down on her one last time.
He stayed with her, well after that gate had closed, her family behind it. His own had left, giving her the privacy to grieve. Y/n simply knelt there, staring at that empty arch on the wall, silent tears still streaming down her face.
Azriel was a selfish male, the relief he’d felt when Aelin told her to stay had almost taken him to his knees. But when he’d seen the broken look in his mates eyes, felt her heart shatter beside his own, he felt the guilt eating him alive.
So he stayed with her, sat down beside her, not touching, but close enough that she could reach out whenever she was ready.
Hours passed, and finally she leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. Azriel sighs at the contact, wrapping his arm around her to pull her closer. She finally looks away from that blank wall, only to bury her face in his chest.
Azriel holds her tighter, lifting a hand to her chin, tilting her face towards his. He searches her eyes, the tears are long gone but the redness remains, and in them he doesn’t find the lost and broken pieces he expected, that he prepared himself to help put back together.
He tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, resting his palm on her cheek. She leans into that touch, nuzzling into his palm.
“Where’d you go, Princess?”
For a moment he doesn’t think she’ll respond, she only stares up at him. And then she’s capturing his lips with her own in a soft, gentle kiss. Azriel runs his thumb over her cheek, admiring the feeling of her lips against his own. Here, she was still here, with him, in his arms.
She pulls back, only just far enough, lips still brushing against his own as she says, “Home, I’m finally home.”
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rockwgooglyeyes · 4 months ago
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the juxtaposition of the main two couples is so interesting to me because of the god/believer parallels, amongst others, but that none of these parallels are obvious from the outside.
if you looked at ivan/till, you would probably think that ivan is the god out of the two of them and I think that the fact he isn't is a purposeful subversion by the writers. Ivan being the moon to Till's sun adds so much to their characters, the self-destructive solar flares (erratic but no less passionate for it, bright and well known yet people know little of substance) and the quiet but impactful wash of the tides (steady, persistent and powerful for it, difficult to change or sway), it feeds into the personalities they have beneath the personas that have been built around them and that's so important to me. but additionally, there are the parallels between Till's "suffering is art" and Ivan's "art is suffering" which makes them so much more compelling to me. Ivan doesn't seem to enjoy being part of the public eye, it's a chore, it's work, that's the painful part for him, not the work itself whereas with Till, the work is the pain because of the way that his owner has made him "suffer for his art." Both ways of doing things rob the person involved of their agency, Till may enjoy art but he is forced to suffer for it, and Ivan is ambivalent to it but is forced to do it anyways. There's also the "admires hope" and "admires the fight" in ivan/till that makes me a little crazy because they both admire the person they love for something that they do not have themself. Ivan has no real will to fight against the system, seems resigned to apathy of some kind, and Till doesn't seem to have any real hope of change despite the fact that he fights. he just seems like he wants to go out with a bang rather than a whimper, to be honest. With Mizi and Sua's god/believer parallel, it's a little more muddy on first glance, it could go either way and so Sua being the god of the two of them isn't so strange. Mizi seems to love Sua more than anything else, why else would Sua be Mizi's god, but Sua loves her just as much and does so much for Mizi that it would make just as much sense the other way. They have moon/sun parallels, too, though they're simpler (Mizi being the sun, warm and crackling with energy, and Sua being the moon, a reflection of Mizi's light who gets brighter the more Mizi loves her), but more interesting to me is the ice/fire, with Sua being ice and Mizi being fire and Sua investing heavily in Mizi despite the fact that it will hurt her in the end and Mizi spending time with Sua despite there being little to no benefit besides on an interpersonal level. Mizi makes Sua's life better but she will make Sua melt and Sua tempers some of Mizi's worse impulses. They're so fascinating because almost all of their symbolism/metaphors are just about choosing each other and loving each other and it makes me a little insane.
tldr; mizisua have dynamics that play into each other and highlight their relationship and how good it is for each other, whereas ivantill have dynamics that also play into each other but highlight them as individuals more than it does their bond which makes me go a little feral
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romiiq · 26 days ago
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Her name Part 3
Part 1 Part 2
Tw: Mentions of drugs, dependance on someone and I think that's it but If you catch something else don't doubt to let me know.
Rafe's POV
Rafe watches her from a distance, his heart clenching as he sees her walking away. Her figure, once so familiar, so intertwined with his own, is now fading into the night. He tries to say something else, but for the way she looked at him and Topper holding him back his words keep getting stuck on his throat, he gulps.
Y/N! Please -the words come out in a strangled whisper, another gulp, and his voice comes out stronger. “I can fix this!” She hears this part, he convinces himself she’ll come back.
Look back baby please look at me.
She doesn’t look back, not even once. She’s stronger than that—stronger than him. He knows it. And for the first time knowing her too well rips him apart, slowly and painfully, like his chest is being carved out with every step she takes until she's finally in Topper’s truck.
He thought he could handle it. He thought the numbness would protect him, that the inevitable wouldn’t hurt so much because, after all, he’d known from the beginning. It’s not that Rafe was oblivious to the kind of man he was; in fact, he knew it all too well. He was the type to ruin things, to break what he loved, and that truth haunted him every time he held her close. He loved her—there was no doubt about that—but love wasn’t enough to change the inevitable. He knew he would hurt her. He could see it in the distance, like a storm gathering on the horizon, and still, he didn't stop. It was a twisted fate he was resigned to, no matter how much it would destroy them both in the end.
The words echo in his head, taunting him with their brutal honesty. He had known it from the first time she smiled at him by that bonfire, the glow of the flames dancing in her eyes, making her look like something from another world. She had no idea who he really was. Not then. And maybe, for a brief moment, he wanted to believe he could hide it from her, hide the parts of him that were rotting from the inside out.
He tried, God, he tried to keep her at arm’s length. It was supposed to be casual, a way to forget everything else that came with the name Rafe Cameron. The drugs, the deals, the weight of his father’s expectations crushing him day by day. But then, without meaning to, he fell. And once he fell, he was lost. Because no matter how much of himself he gave her, there would always be more of him left in the shadows. She thought she could heal him. She believed in him, even when he didn’t deserve it. 
Rafe watches her through the window, her hand reaching up to wipe her eyes. She’s crying. He did that. He made her cry. His fists tighten at his sides, his knuckles white as he fights the urge to run after her, to beg her to turn around, to forgive him. But how could he have the nerve to say that? Wouldn't it make it worse? The truth? That he loved her so much it scared him? That he was clinging to a past where he thought he was happy? That he never meant to hurt her but did anyway, because that’s just who he is?
But Sofia had never really left, had she? Even when he was holding Y/N, kissing her; Rafe had been clinging to a past that never truly existed. That night, Sofia’s name slipped from his lips like a reflex, a desperate call to a version of himself that was long gone.
Sofia wasn’t the person he wanted. She never was. She had been his crutch when the world around him, when even his own father, didn’t see him. She had filled the gaps, made him feel less alone but that wasn’t love. It was an obsession. An obsession with a time when he thought she was all he had.
And tonight, when he kissed her, the truth hit him like ice. The illusion shattered. There was nothing there, no warmth, no fire. Because his heart, his life, belonged in the present. Not in the shadows of what could’ve been, but in the light of what was. His future wasn’t in Sofia. It never was, his future is (was) in Y/N.
“I never wanted this to happen” he whispers into the empty night, his voice hoarse, his throat raw from the words he’s kept buried for so long. But no one’s there to hear him. She’s gone. And the only thing left is the silence.
He remembers the way she looked at him when she saw him with Sofia. The betrayal in her eyes, the disbelief, like he had torn something sacred between them and shredded it without a second thought as it was meaningless. But it wasn’t thoughtless and neither meaningless. That was the worst part. It wasn’t a mistake. It was who he was, who he always would be.
Y/N’s last words replay in his head, over and over, searing his soul with every repetition. "I was never enough for you, was I? No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I was never her."
He wanted to tell her that she was more than enough. That she was everything. But how could he say that when he knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t matter? He had fallen in love with her, yes, but he had also known that in the end, he would betray her. He knew it was like a curse running through his veins, something inescapable, something that would always drag him down, no matter how hard he tried to swim to the surface, he knew, oh man, he knew from the beginning he was going to fuck everything up.
His chest tightens as he watches the truck disappear down the street, swallowed by the darkness. He let her slip through his fingers, just like he let everything else in his life slip away. He loved her. He did. But he betrayed her the moment he let her believe that he could be something better, he lied to her, man, maybe he lied to himself about it too. Oh the goddamn stupid boy who thought he could be a better person. 
And now, standing in the aftermath of his own destruction, Rafe knows that she’s gone, and this time, there’s no going back even if he wanted to do everything right, even if Y/N said yes again. 
It was selfish—he realized. He couldn’t bear the idea of someone like her by his side. It terrified him, the thought of someone so real, so good, standing next to him, when all he had ever known was chaos. How could he deserve that? How could he let her have that?
No. He couldn’t do it. Not to her. 
So he did the only thing that made sense. He walked away.
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Hey ya'll thank you for the support it means a lot to me. So this part is one that has been resting for a long time on my draft lmao and I decided to post it today, hope you enjoy it.
Also I'll definitely write what xcinnamonmalfoyx suggested, totally loved the idea, I'm so glad she thought about it because I was just gonna leave it like that haha.
Last but not least, sorry if I mistyped something English is not my first language and again thank you for all your kind words.
Anyways stay tunned and enjoy! :)
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gloryofroses19 · 5 months ago
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The Heist
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Pairing: Eris Vanserra x mate!reader
T/W: Making out and allusions to sex
“This must be what my father was referring to when he said you were going to be my downfall.” Spoke a playful voice intending to steal the attention of the figure at the desk. Eris Vanserra did not often joke about his father, especially the biting and caustic words thrown his way. However, when in a good mood, such as today thanks to his mate, sometimes he would. 
“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” She replied evenly, continuing to gaze at the court document before her. 
But of course she did. And he did as well. Even the maids knew, no doubt setting the Forest House alight with new gossip to disperse. 
Chuckling, Eris began to move from the study doorway to the desk. A desk that had been his until their mating and marriage. Tugging at the bond thrumming between them, he noted how perfectly she fit into the space he had occupied alone for many centuries. “Oh surely you do, my little thief. Though I admit your technique is sloppy considering I know you pulled it out of my closet.” 
“Excuse me, I did a wonderful job at stealing your heart.” Rising from her seat, offered her a mischievous smile as she tugged back at the bond between them. She had once, many years ago, told Rhysland that she had no intention of becoming a bride to a High Lord. The Cauldron must have taken that as a challenge. For all her naivety was shattered by the depths of her devotion to help her husband, her mate, run their court
 “First, you steal my heart and then my clothes?” Warm amber eyes and a feline smile watched raptly as she brushed up against his body. “Will I be resigned to walking around nude?” 
“The horror,” she intoned as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Making herself at home in his arms, she didn’t think twice of how the movement exposed a sliver of her shoulder due to the collar’s ill fit. Nor how the movements of his hands down her back, caused the shirt to fully reveal her left shoulder. 
However, her ever observant mate did, who in turn took it as an open invitation to begin to press his pert lips against the skin. It was only right he mused, it was his shirt after all.
Breathlessly, she grounded  herself against Eris. With the Autumn Equinox approaching, they had been inundated with things to complete leaving them with limited time for each other.  
Limited time that created a yearning so strong that she would be embarrassed to admit that the heist occurred two days prior. That two days prior, she took his abandoned shirt and hid it in the depths of her closet. Hid it with the knowledge that she would be free from court appearances and able to spend the day working in their private study surrounded by his smell. 
Refusing the temptation to take her there, ever the fox, Eris hooked a finger under her chin. “What will you take next?” he said in his soft, rich way, “My firstborn child?” 
Although not born in the Autumn court, she matched the fire in his eyes. “And every child afterwards.” 
“I am wondering what I gain from this bargain.” He murmured gently, as his thumb brushed over her petal soft lips. 
She pulled him to her, his lips eager and  warm. They parted slightly, allowing her tongue to slip inside. Allowing  her intentions to flow down their bond, she gently pushed him back.
Allowing himself to be led, Eris kissed her back fervently as his hands effortlessly undid the buttons of her skirt. 
With the final brush of the silken material down her body, she pushed Eris a final time. Seated on the couch, Eris lounged wantonly taking her in. Swathed in only his shirt, she looked equal parts ethereal and dangerous. No doubt his downfall indeed, he reflected as she moved to straddle him.  
“Nothing,” she began as she pressed a light kiss to his lips, watching fondly as his lips followed her. “This isn’t a bargain but rather a robbery, remember, High Lord?” 
“How could I forget, my High Lady?” he murmured against her lips, sucking at the lower one.
A/N: All feedback is appreciated!
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blasphemecel · 6 months ago
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Michael Kaiser — Pissing on Romance's Grave
PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.3k TYPE: Humor, Established relationship WARNING(S): tw Kaiser
Today is worse than a plague.
Well… Exaggerated inner turmoil aside, you’ve been having an awful day. It’s like you’ve been waddling through a swamp of bullshit. Even now you’re climbing up the stairs to your apartment because the stupid elevator broke. Could’ve been worse, you suppose — at least you weren’t inside when it malfunctioned.
The feeble attempt at optimism, however, isn’t easing your hatred and misery at all. Proof of your ever present anger is how you almost rip the door off its hinges after you unlock it, barging in, then closing it with a bang again.
While taking off your shoe, you register a strange smell. Of something burnt. Maybe you’re resigned to the fate that it’s probable you’ll die today, so while you are alarmed, it’s not enough to make you hurry and run with your other shoe still on. Even when you do begin your trek with heavy footsteps, your pace is brisk at best, following the scent right to your bedroom.
You don’t hesitate, but perhaps you should’ve, since it would’ve given you a moment to brace yourself. Still, nothing could’ve really prepared you for the sight that greets you once you enter.
“I can explain,” Kaiser says with wide eyes, reaching out his hands in front of him in case you try to lunge at him and go in for the kill.
Your bathrobe looks burned. Usually this isn’t an observation you’d be making, but you’re forced to now, what with Kaiser wearing it… for some godforsaken reason. Your bed is in even worse condition, tattered and covered in soot, melting candles knocked over. Wax sticking to the ruined sheets. Rose petals are scattered all over the floor. Many of them are ashy like they got caught up in whatever incident occurred. Three more candles dripping over the flowers and the carpet, all these things culminating in a giant mess.
What the actual fuck are you looking at?
“Open the window!” you scream at him then gesture towards it, maybe in case he doesn’t know what a ‘window’ is. It wouldn’t surprise you at this point with the way things are going.
“I did!” Kaiser says, annoyed, as if he has any right to be giving you an attitude in this situation. Though, recognizing the murderous intent in your face, he fumbles to reach out and open it. “I did, but I got cold, so I closed it.”
“Yeah, speaking of, why the hell are you wearing my bathrobe?”
“Because I didn’t want to bring mine-”
“Why do you need to be wearing a bathrobe. At. All.”
“For the atmosphere.”
“For the atmosphere?” You throw your hands up in the air in exasperation. “For the atmosphere?! There’s no atmosphere, this is just a fire hazard!”
“It was going to be romantic-”
“Why did you close the window even though the room hasn’t aired out and stayed inside? Why were you even- What if something happened to you?!”
Kaiser smirks at you, content all of a sudden, before he crosses his arms. You could punch him in the face. “Oh, so you’re worried about me. You’d be sad if I died.” He says all this in the tone of announcing a triumph he’s holding over your head.
You ignore him, stepping over one of the roses. Kaiser regards the action with mild offense, which you don’t notice, since you’re too lost in the haze of your rage to even comprehend what’s going on. “How did you even manage this?”
“There was a miscalculation.”
“What does that mean?”
“I, um, I… tried to pose on the bed,” says Kaiser. This is the first time you’ve seen him look shameful during your entire time together, averting his gaze away from yours and all. Which is one way to affirm his statement and plan are particularly stupid, since he’s the type to stare at you straight on, unflinching, and smirk at you while telling you the dumbest shit.
“Pose?”
“You know. You know what I mean, right? Like a French girl? Yeah, like that.” The more he explains it, the more pathetic his mumbling is getting. To think even Kaiser, who’s obsessed with the sound of his voice, is capable of an inside voice.
You’ve never been so tense in your life. You might be developing a hernia in your neck. “Oh right, of course. Right! Because why wouldn’t you do that while wearing something flammable? I’m so stupid, how didn’t I think of that? Also, why in the world were you trying to LIGHT UP THE CANDLES AGAIN?! Like, let them rest, they’re already fucking done for! I saw you!”
“For the- for my artistic purposes. Of course. A real visionary doesn’t just give up after a small mishap.”
“And! The key I gave you is for emergencies! Not for you to-”
“But it was!!! A fucking emergency!”
“-set fires in my home! What are you even doing here?” You finish off your speech with a huff. Your tantrum has exhausted you, but at the same time it’s convenient you can use Kaiser as a verbal punching bag because of his lunacy.
Now he’s channeling his kicked puppy eyes. Like, he’s trying his best to force himself to cry, you can tell by the way he’s squinting at you and straining. When the effort proves futile he gives up and settles for glaring at you. “Alright, I know I messed up, but it’s obvious I was trying to surprise you for our anniversary.”
You blink at him. Then stay quiet.
“You forgot!” he accuses, trying to distract you from being mad at him by creating some fabricated emotional torment. Then he tries to force himself to cry again, and all you do in response to the display is roll your eyes.
Damn, you can’t believe your day has been so awful, your one year anniversary slipped your mind. These people are working you to an early grave.
“Whatever,” you say, before making a vague motion all around. “Clean up.”
His jaw hangs open as if he’s scandalized. “What? You want me to clean this shit all by myself?”
“You inflicted this on my poor bed alone. Clean it, now.”
Seeing that you’re apparently not dying of guilt, Kaiser decides to switch tactics. “But! My beloved, light of my life, fire in my groin-”
“That’s-” you interrupt your own sentence with a groan and resist the urge to either sock him in the jaw or find a way to knock yourself out through some obscure pressure point. Then you shake your head. Unfortunately it does nothing useful like for example maybe erasing the last twenty-four hours from your mind and instead remains as a meaningless gesture. “Not how it goes.”
“I know,” he says, satisfied with himself and his ridiculous antics. At least you think he must be from his annoying, smug grin. Though immediately after Kaiser appears to get a mood swing because his lips twist down again. “I can’t believe you forgot about our anniversary, though. And now you’re making me act like a maid. Do I mean nothing to you? You’re breaking my spirit here and this is an unethical dynamic-”
“Micha, I don’t give a fuck about your guilt tripping act. Just clean this up so we can enjoy the rest of our day.”
“Fine. Whatever. You win. You win! Your heartlessness wins against my romantic soul. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
You grit your teeth. “Shut up and get on with it.”
“Okay.” He deflates like a particularly depressed balloon.
You then proceed to watch as Kaiser makes his way around and acts like gathering and throwing away rose petals is the most difficult thing anyone has ever done. In his mind, this experience must be the most suffering anyone’s ever endured — but who knows what goes through his head. Several times, he offers to buy you a new apartment because he ‘doesn’t feel like dealing with this’ and since it’s ‘below him.’
And the whole time you’re observing him and his behavior, you can’t help but wonder what mental institution this man must’ve crawled out of to then find his path leading to you.
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motimatcha · 6 months ago
Text
"nostromo"
PART 2. White crow.
parts: one | two | three | four | five
dbd Xenomorph (alien) x fem!reader. attention: murder
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“Let me introduce myself, my name is Ellen Louise Ripley. I am the only survivor of the Nostromo crew.”
Ellen spoke without pride or enthusiasm. Her voice was filled with bitterness and sadness, with the horror and fear of facing a monster from the depths of space one on one. Ripley looked like a woman who couldn't be broken no matter what the odds got in her way, and that made you respect this strong woman.
The fire from the fire was crackling steadily. The thrown firewood slowly turned black, turning into coals. The flame did not warm, but gave everyone present a phantom feeling of calm and safety. The territory of the survivors, fenced off by a white soothing fog, did not allow killers and creatures from other universes to reach the fire, but many still preferred to stay, if not in groups, then at least in pairs. Because it’s so safe, because it’s so comfortable. So profitable.
And among all this multitude of people, you alone felt out of place. White crow among black crows. It would seem that you could maintain a dialogue with each potential team member, taught and learned something new, but you did not have the same mutual understanding as Dwight and Claudette . You couldn't talk to Mikaella and Honas about enchantments any more than your basic knowledge of totem blessings allowed.
You were yours. But you were a stranger and in case of danger, they would be the last to save you.
“I will share with you my knowledge regarding the Alien or Xenomorph , as it is also called. This is a new... killer, as you call them here, who has a number of abilities.”
The conversation around the fire began to gain momentum. From time to time you asked your questions to Louise in order to better understand what to expect from the Alien. The information was, to put it mildly, depressing. You sincerely wanted not to compete in the tests against this monster, but everything was the will of the Entity and a little of your luck.
For the next three trials, you come face to face with the xenomorph . Perhaps he remembered you and holds a grudge, otherwise you cannot explain to yourself how it happened that in the first test you were sent to meet with the entity in the first place, the second time you were allowed to leave through the gate as the only survivors, and the third time you have successfully stumbled upon a hook.
In every unnatural-looking shadow, you saw the outline of a xenomorph's vertebrae . You heard his cry when he got caught with his paws or tail, seemingly behind his back. You could feel his saliva on and under your skin as the sixth test passed, and the creature from outer space continued to pursue you.
When for the seventh time, having completely resigned yourself to your fate of being an eternal victim of the Alien, you are incredibly lucky. You were ready to go to Ghostface , if not kiss, then something like that. And although the latter would be glad to get his first victim so soon, the other survivors looked at you more than strangely and would have suspected you of colluding with the maniac if they did not know your situation.
Laurie patted you on the shoulder sympathetically whenever you managed to cross paths.
“I’ve never felt so disgusting,” Claudette said irritably , sitting down on the edge of a fallen tree near the fire. You sat a little further away, so you could hear her words. “All this time it stood almost behind us, while we... while we...”
“Let’s be honest, we were lucky that we at least escaped without injury,” Jake Park, who apparently underwent the test with Morel . “It wasn’t pleasant for me to run through the bushes with my bare ass.”
“Do you think I really liked it?”
The guy wrinkled his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. You, interested, eavesdropped on someone else's conversation, trying not to frighten off the source of information; It will be better for you if the couple believes that their most interesting conversation was left without due attention.
You shivered when clouds of cold fog touched the bare skin of your legs and pulled them towards you, bending them at the knees. Wrapping your arms around yourself and adjusting the jacket thrown over you, you looked at the sky: beautiful and cloudless, strewn with stars - almost the same as you saw on the Nostromo , except that the satellite was much larger or closer to the surface of the planet.
Jake about something . Her active gestures and talking face clearly hinted that the girl did not agree with the words of her boyfriend, but the latter was unshakable and calm to match the emotionality of his partner. Soon their quiet conversation died down, and you understood only one thing: a stranger was watching them while the couple had sex.
Funny. And scary.
Ellen said that the xenomorph is evolving.
“It looks like my next test will be with you,” Ripley sat down next to her , oh which you thought a second ago, smiled warmly, and then looked at the stars. “I liked looking at them too.” In childhood. I dreamed that I would explore space and make discoveries, but...”
There was a moment of silence, which became awkward with each passing second. Did the girl deliberately leave the sentence unfinished to make you feel uncomfortable, did she want you to ask your question, or did the silence seem tense only to you?
The wood in the fire continued to crackle rhythmically, breaking the silence in the clearing. As you watched the once glowing scarlet wood turn to jet black, you couldn't help but notice the analogy with human determination and faith. You believed that the xenomorph would someday leave you alone when he satisfied his desire to take revenge on you, reveling in the feeling of the chase.
Faith, like a weak flame, faded away.
"But"?” you ask, hinting to hear the continuation of the story.
“When I thought that death was about to take me away and I would get rid of this nightmare, I ended up here. And he too.” Ellen shrugged. Her tired gaze turned to your figure, slightly trembling from the cold; Louise herself did not care about any weather, be it the stuffiness of an abandoned cemetery somewhere in the desert or the bone-chilling cold of Ormond. “Honestly, I thought that the monster would hunt me more than others, but watching you, I made a small assumption...”
You raised an eyebrow in surprise and anticipation . You were very interested in other people’s words, but at the same time you felt somehow uneasy. If a stranger really needs something from you, then you can safely assume that his pursuit will never end and someday his razor-sharp fangs will end up in your body. The prospect of becoming his prey did not please you at all, but so far you have managed to escape even while being possessed by him.
“So, what's your guess?”
The former officer is silent. The look of her dark eyes slightly alarms and frightens you, and the next moment the girl will turn into her sworn enemy and attack you. The acidic blood will burn through your skin and reach your bones, with its claws it will open your stomach to tear and devour your insides with its sharp fangs. Fear bubbled in your chest.
“The next time you meet him, pay attention to whether the monster has left its scent on your body. Saliva, blood...”
...The xenomorph is behind you. He hisses when he receives a blow to his chitin-covered head from the boards. A nail driven into the wood manages to scratch the strong armor, causing green poisonous blood to spill. You scream when drops of acid fall on your legs - running immediately becomes painful and difficult, a stranger can easily catch up with you and hook you with his tail. But when you turn around to see if the killer is following you, you find that he is simply standing still and watching, and then walking in the opposite direction of you...
...The viscous saliva of the xenomorph spills across the floor in front of the locker in which you hid. The secretions of a creature from deep space are mixed with your blood, flowing down your arms and legs after a recent attack - the xenomorph's tail brushed your side. With a sharp movement, the monster opens the iron cabinet door, but instead of immediately picking you up with its main weapon, a huge paw hits the back of the cabinet next to your head. The big head creeps closer to you, and you think that your end has come, that now the second mouth of the xenomorph will make a hole in your head. The xenomorph's saliva running down your cheek makes you think about a lot of things...
“Suppose, if it was, then what?..”
Ripley sighed heavily before giving her answer.
“Then I have bad news. He chose you as his mate to create a new colony here.”
Finding yourself on the Nostromo again no longer seemed something scary to you, rather than meeting one-on-one with a xenomorph . The faint hope that in today's test there will be some other killer, and not your personal nightmare, was dispelled to dust as soon as one of the points of movement of the monster was noticed. The control center located directly in front of the generator gave the alien easy access to attack from behind without being noticed. Your hands trembled weakly from fear, but you went to the generator at your own peril and risk.
You retrieved and installed the remote fire turret before sitting down to repair the generator. Fearing the worst-case scenario and knowing your luck, you specifically made the fruiting of the Entity to successfully and quickly repair the generators in order to quickly escape from the cage created by the Entity. Your comrades: Meg , Ellen and Claudette , should have tried to buy you as much time as they could.
“Most likely, his next step will be courtship. For these creatures, it is the presentation of corpses as an indicator of their strength, so that the future couple will evaluate the abilities of the future partner.”
Ripley ’s words came at the wrong time, because you almost miss the reaction check, almost blowing up the almost finished generator. A nervous chuckle escapes your lips, but then you have to hold your attention as soon as the turret begins to warn you that the killer is close.
Having finished with the generator, you took the turret and moved to the next point, marked for you by the Entity in red. It was difficult and long to move with the installation, but it was better to do so, constantly knowing whether an alien was nearby, than to run away and evade the attacks of its tail. The generators marked in red formed a good triangle, depriving the killer of which was your first priority - the ideally close location of all three points allowed you not to waste time.
The fire turret began signaling almost hysterically as soon as you approached the generator and installed the equipment. In a couple of seconds, you reach the nearest stone shelter, which completely hides your figure behind it, before a tall xenomorph figure appears from the control room . He screams heart-rendingly, as if in pain, and you yourself also wince, either from the unpleasant sound, or because the creature is somewhat pathetic. With one blow, the creature destroyed the turret, which brought it out of its crawling state, depriving it of its main weapon, after which the killer looked around in search of the next victim.
The perfect weapon was so evil that during the long chase he failed to catch a single survivor, and now he was completely set on fire by the turret.
Not finding his next victim, the alien returned back to the dungeon, but you understood that it was too early to leave the shelter - perhaps the xenomorph was only hiding, and in fact was sitting near the exit from the tunnel, waiting for the brave man who had installed a weapon here. Long minutes pass and only then do you decide to return to the strong point, get a new fire turret and start repairing the generator.
When the generator was half finished, Meg's scream was heard . Most likely, the creature touched her with its tail or claws, then there was the sound of falling boards and another scream - acidic blood fell on the girl. You couldn't go help her even if you wanted to because your main task was fixing the generator.
This is how helplessness feels.
A heavy feeling settled in your chest. As if if you were there, you could help, but being obsessed with the xenomorph , he simply would not pay his attention to you, continuing to chase other survivors until you are the last one left. And one Entity knows that a creature from deep space will rise up, who also wants to make a new colony with you.
It is impossible to have children in the world of the Entity. This is an indisputable fact proven by many survivors, but hardly the stranger knew about it, otherwise why does he continue to haunt you? Unless, of course, the reason lies in close communication with Michael Myers. Thinking about this, a faint shadow of a smile appears on your exhausted face. The picture in your head of how a silent killer telepathically conveys some instructions to an extraterrestrial being, and he shakes his head and wags his tail like a dog, amused you. Perhaps you had simply gone crazy, but now it was difficult to imagine the xenomorph as a serious threat.
Until the moment you come face to face with him again.
Suspiciously quickly, Ellen is hung on a hook, and she comes to the point of fighting the Entity. The girl, who is not quite used to everything, loses several times in the fight, and you can clearly hear her bones cracking and crunching. This makes you feel uneasy, but you forcefully hold yourself in place and finish fixing the generator. Wounded Claudette is forced to run from the killer, and Meg is too far away to save Ripley . At your own peril and risk, hoping that the killer does not decide to change course, you run up to the brunette hanging on the hook and save her from the clutches of the Entity.
“Thank you,” the survivor nods gratefully as you begin treatment. The toolbox remains lying nearby while, armed with someone else's first aid kit, you heal the wounds of the former officer. “Next time, don’t take risks. I have no more attempts to save myself.”
Biting your lower lip, you could only nod obediently, agreeing with the words of others. If the girl is telling the truth, then it really won’t be possible to save her and the next hanging will send her to a meeting with the entity. I wonder if others have at least some attempts to save themselves or are you the only one who can still try to get off the hook? After saying goodbye to Ripley and picking up your tools, you go to fix the next generator.
A body that fell nearby made you scream in fear, and then the generator exploded, illuminating the area with hundreds of sparks and revealing your location to the killer. You froze, like a rabbit in the face of a boa constrictor and don’t know what to do: run, attracting attention to yourself and, perhaps, the stranger will be distracted by you, abandoning his prey. But the stranger who notices you is only watching.
“...presenting corpses as an indicator of one’s strength...”
Excruciatingly long.
“...so that the future couple can evaluate their abilities...”
You don’t even know where this creature’s eyes are, but you can say with certainty that the gaze of the alien monster is sliding over your figure.
"...future..."
The xenomorph slowly pierces Ripley's body with its tail. Lifts him in the air, turning him to face him. You see the grimace of horror on Ellen's beautiful face. A second later, the xenomorph's second mouth pierces her head, leaving a large hole in her forehead.
"...partner..."
With gloomy calm you watch the alien creature. It throws a lifeless corpse at your feet, as if it is appreciating its work. You can clearly hear that unspoken “are you satisfied, my future couple?” in the shrill squeak of someone else. You manage to stand still with all your willpower, especially when the monster comes inappropriately close to you. You feel the iron smell, heavy cold breath above your ear, and viscous saliva mixed with blood that flows down your shoulder below.
The xenomorph suddenly turns its head to the side when it senses the presence of another survivor. It was Meg, who came out at the wrong time from around the corner of the Nostromo wreckage. Her gaze darted from Ellen's corpse to the xenomorph standing next to you.
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originally there was a paragraph in this chapter where the reader reflects on the outcome of his ordeal, but does not remember how it all ended. this is due to the fact that I am an adherent of the theory of amnesia of survivors and killers. Unfortunately, I had to abandon this, but I do not exclude the possibility that references could remain somewhere in the text.
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