#will there ever be happiness for me anymore..

[lastoneout]

@guess-ill-dye Okay so! No environmental hazards were involved, but essentially my fiancé and I started hanging out a lot after our friends introduced us, and we def had some feelings but we hadn't addressed them at all.

A few months into us hanging out we were about to go see a movie with the friends who introduced us, and before we left our mutual friend went "Wait, if you two start dating that means I won't be able to get into movies for free with [LastOneOut] anymore!" (Context, I worked at a movie theater and one of the perks is getting into shows for free with a plus one.) And I kinda freaked out internally because I knew I liked my fiancé but I didn't know how he felt about me, but we just kinda laughed it off and I tried not to think about it too hard.

Cut to a week or so later, and we're hanging out with said mutual friend again, and idk what we were even talking about but my fiancé said to me "You know, you might be the first girlfriend I've had who has a job." and uh. All hell broke loose. Our mutual friend started losing it about how happy she was we were dating, and my fiancé, bless his heart, was like "Wait are we not dating??" and I ran off to hide in the pantry like a real Adult because oh my god what???

I calmed down pretty quickly and we both talked and admitted we did want to date, and after I asked my fiancé why he thought we already were dating when I know for a fact we never talked about it, he explained that when our friend joked about the free movies thing and I didn't say we weren't dating, I just laughed, he assumed that at some point we had started dating and he just forgot that conversation, and he decided to roll with it because he liked me and didn't want to be rude or blow it.

Anyway we've been together for like 8 years and I love him so much. We both the dumbest bitches to have ever lived tho.

new trope just dropped

[dannyriccsystem]

if you’re comfortable could you do oscar smut 🤭

GIRL, YOU REALLY GOT A HOLD ON ME…

FORMULA ONE DRIVER X READER

SUMMARY: There is no summary this is literally just smut

WARNINGS: Smut. Y/N usage. Freaky

FEATURING: Oscar Piastri x Reader

YES GAWD

You discovered that when it came to Oscar Piastri, it didn’t take much for him to turn you on.

You felt shameful with the way your eyes were constantly searching his entire form, each part of your brain working together to imagine the nastiness you could get up to together. You could have him whenever you wanted, but waiting until you couldn’t wait anymore was part of the fun.

One evening in particular had sent you over the edge. Oscar just returned home from a workout, his white shirt just slightly see through and sticky from sweat, clinging to his subtly toned figure. Your tongue darted out, licking your lips as you took in the delicious sight before you.

He stretched his strong arms out above his head, and the same shirt rode up, letting you get a peek at both his happy trail and the waistband of his boxers. You were already flooded at this point— Actually, you have been since he walked through the door.

When he sat down, you wasted no time straddling his lap. His hands found your thighs, and his eyes crinkled with mirth as he stared up at you in your elevated position. He looked so innocent, but your thoughts were anything but. You batted your lashes at him every so innocently, your hands rubbing the muscle that connected his collarbone and shoulders. Your honeyed voice asked him, “How was your day?”

Oscar’s thumbs ran over your soft thighs, an innocent act that made you feel exponentially worse. He hummed, a deep grumble in his chest. “Good,” He began, his accented voice slightly hoarse. It always was after an intense workout.

He continued, but you were too zoned out to pay attention to everything he said. You just nodded when you should, but your attention was more pinpointed on the chain around his neck. It was a necklace you bought him for your second anniversary, and he practically wore it everywhere.

“I tried to push m-my… Li-… Limits…” He stuttered, his voice trailing off when you lightly tugged on said chain. He blinked, surprised. When you peered up at him through those thick eyelashes, he cleared his throat to continue. This time with flushed ears. He couldn’t explain why it had such an effect on him, but it did.

You leaned in, your lips finding the pulse of his neck. He was quick to shut his mouth, his once innocent hands now firmly grasping the fat of your thighs. He hummed, and Oscar’s typically steady voice began to shake. “Y/N,” He whispered pathetically.

You trailed your lips to his collarbone before pulling yourself to his lips, letting him enjoy your taste just as you did his. Oscar’s hands traveled upwards, exploring the skin of your stomach as warm palms slid up your shirt. He pulled away to take a deep breath, only to dive back in immediately after.

He was instantly hard, and you could tell, because he’d slowly grind his erection up against you, drawing soft little gasps from your boyfriend. Apparently it didn’t take much for him to start acting up, either. Just a few kisses and he was desperate to be buried inside you.

“C’mon, pretty- Please,” He whispered against your lips, which were now red and swollen from his. He pressed his forehead against yours as he lifted his hips, using one hand to shimmy out of his shorts, and then his boxers followed. You wanted to tease, but you couldn’t wait any longer.

You lifted your hips, and with his help— Which mostly included tearing the fabric of your panties— you managed to free your lower half. He slowly pushed himself inside your hole, throwing his head back around halfway through. “Hold still,” He muttered, and you did.

He could barely handle the sensation, needing just a few seconds to adjust to your tightness. It wasn’t the first time ever, but it was the first in quite awhile. His lips were agape, letting him pant heavily as he pulled you down further, until your hips were flush against his.

“Mnhh, Oscar.” You arched your back against his chest, burying your face into his neck as you slowly lifted your hips, bouncing up and down on his thick cock.

“Fuck, you feel so good…” He normally kept his language clean, but it was impossible with you gripping him so tight. “C’mon, let me see your face,” He grunted into your ear, leaving a sloppy kiss just below it. You pulled your face back, tilting it down to stare at him with that fucked out expression.

He helped you fuck yourself on him, using his strong grip to lift you up and down. His eyelids were fluttering, like he had to hold himself back from cumming too soon. Everything about him was perfect, especially now.

“You’re not usually this sensitive,” You try to tease, but your voice is shaking just as much as— if not more than— his.

“Been too long,” You could tell it was taking everything in him not to ruin the moment, but he really needed that release now. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. He pressed his forehead to yours again, this time his mouth just slightly ajar and his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

You could feel him twitching inside you. He’d stop his movements momentarily to collect his bearings, and then continue to thrust. It was like he was edging himself with your hole, trying to make sure you came before him. “Oh, Osc… Y-… Yeah, that feels good-! Just like that,” You pressed yourself close to him, closing your eyes with him. “I’m-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence. You felt your orgasm wash over you, a pleasured cry being ripped from your throat. That’s all he needed before he finally let himself go, filling you up. He left his forehead against yours, panting like crazy to catch his breath.

“You did so good, Osc.” You muttered as he collapsed back against the couch, pulling you even closer to him. He was still buried inside you, but was beginning to soften at that point. He smiled, his chest still heaving with every breath.

“You’re insatiable.” Especially considering you were already grinding against him, hungry for round two.

Hell, who wouldn’t be?

[iamthatonefangirl]

okay imma need a nsfw alphabet for bucky!! maybe tfatws? let me be, we all know im all for that man

you know I gotchu bae. fatws bucky nsfw alphabet incoming...

aftercare: this man is obviously a god at aftercare, no questions asked. he’s kissing every inch of your face, making sure you’re okay and happy and satisfied. even if he’s exhausted he’s always offering to give you one more, two more, as many more as you want, really… he'll make you drink way too much water and then he’s practically pushing you out of the bed to make you pee even when you want nothing more than to sleep. 

body part: he loves every inch of you. doesn’t matter what you think. he loves you. he loves any part of you he can hold onto, dig his fingers into and keep you close to him, whether it’s your chest, your thighs, your hips. the most vulnerable parts of you are the most real, and those are his favorite. he just wants to feel you. 

when he first took his shirt off in front of you, he was concerned. he knows you’re a good person with a caring heart and would never judge him for his scars on his shoulder, but he was still scared. if you flinched away, or cringed, or anything, when you saw him… his heart would shatter. he’d never love again. he wouldn’t see the point in living. 

but you smiled, and looked at him with nothing but adoration and lust. you gently brought your hands to his chest, and his heart fucking melted. he watched your face, taking in your facial expressions as you stepped closer and took in the sight of him. he watched and waited to see what you might do or say. waited for you to scowl and tell him he was ugly. 

but you just… pressed your lips to the scars on his shoulder, and he felt like he could cry. you've only ever made him feel whole.

cum: he’s making a huge mess all over your sheets, skin, everywhere. he loves filling you up and then fucking it back into you. “don’t waste it, baby,” he’s teasing you, overstimulating you with his fingers and plugging you up. 

dirty secret: he kind of wants to learn for himself how it feels when he ties you up. 

experience: you’re his first since after hydra. it scared him, at first, how much he liked you when he met you. he wanted to open up to you, give you everything right off the bat, fuck you senseless right off the bat, but he couldn’t. it took him time, of course, and you were happy to take it slow. but god, the first time you had sex was like heaven. he was a young man once upon a time. an extremely attractive young man, and so it’s fair to say that he knows wtf he’s doing now that he’s comfortable with you. 

favorite position: call him boring, but he loves missionary. he wants to be able to see your eyes, your reactions, and kiss your face while he’s making you feel good. he loves having you lay on the bed, relaxing, while he takes you apart, giving you the princess treatment you deserve.

but when you ride him, fuck, it takes his breath away with how pretty you look. he always finishes way too fast and ends up apologizing over and over again, but you don’t care. he’ll get hard again soon enough. until then he can sit there and deal with the overstimulation <3

goofy: this man loves to have fun with you, especially in bed. most of the time when you’re in the heat of the moment, you’re both pretty serious, but that doesn’t mean there’s no room for fun. one time you were in the middle of getting your shit rocked from behind, making the whole bed shake like crazy, and the lamp on the table ended up getting knocked over, startling both of you. you both couldn’t help but laugh until you cried, at which point he turned you onto your back and kissed you, both of you making jokes about it while you fucked you until you finished, still giggling. 

hair: nothing special. he keeps it clean and tidy. he doesn't let his hair get long anymore, too many bad memories. but he gets the sense you find it attractive so maybe... 

intimacy: this man craves connection with you. he’s always reminding you how much he loves you and needs you in his life, kissing your eyes and nose and cheeks every time he says it. he holds you close and can’t help but remind you of how pretty you are, how well you take care of him, praising and worshipping you as he makes the sweetest love to you. 

jack-off: trying to get back to normal after hydra was… a struggle. it’s fair to say he didn’t get himself off very much before he met you. you have sex fairly regularly, but being with you helped him feel more comfortable and capable of doing it himself. fairly early in your relationship you asked him if you could just watch, and he was hesitant. so you gave him your own little show, which totally spurred him on to do the same for you. ever since then, and the way you looked at him with such lust in your eyes as he touched himself, he’s been so much more confident and willing. you’re just happy he’s getting back to finding himself and being comfortable again in his body. 

kink: he loves to gag you. he just can’t help himself. he totally gets off on putting you in a spider gag and tying your hands above your head while he can sit there and mess with your head, praising and degrading you at the same time for being his good little fuck doll? yeah, that’ll do it for him. 

he’s a sucker for fucking you in front of a mirror. he’ll push you up against the bathroom counter, wrap a hand around your throat, and kick your feet apart, watching your reactions in the mirror. he loves how you devolve into a mess in front of his eyes while he holds himself together, watching the way he’s railing you into oblivion. he holds your head in place so you’re forced to watch him smirk while you’re drooling everywhere.

he loves having control over you and waving it around in your face to taunt you. it’s fun to put you in your place, spank you into submission. total size kink, too.

location: he loves doing it in the bedroom, call him old-fashioned. taking you apart in his bed, making you comfortable, giving it to you the way you deserve. only the best for you. 

but he’s only a man. anywhere you want it, he’ll give it to you. you’ve definitely fucked in his car. on his motorcycle. in an alley outside the dancing club you went to that one time. he’s no exhibitionist, but…

motivation: when you tease him. you love making dirty jokes to him to get him riled up, and it always works. if you’re trying to walk past him in a tight space, you’ll grab his ass or his bulge or grind up against him and then pretend like nothing happened. you’ll buy boxes of popsicles at the store for the sole purpose of licking it like you do his cock. one of these days he’s gonna take the damn popsicle out of your mouth and fuck you with it.

no: no knives, no guns. even if it doesn’t scare you, it scares him too much to think about exposing you to that kind of violence given his history. 

oral: he’s a real man. loves to go down on you when you’re aching and sensitive for him after he’s wrecked you. you’re hissing, telling him to be careful, and he’s rubbing your thighs to soothe you. he loves when you’re vulnerable like this, super tired, walking the line between pain and pleasure, and yet you still let him lick you to his heart’s content. 

he loves your mouth on his cock. it’s a sight to see. getting you on your knees for him, seeing you so willing, parting your lips and drooling on him. he loves it. he moans like crazy and loves talking to you while you’re pleasuring him, saying, “that’s my girl. letting me use her mouth like this. gonna let me fuck it like the rest of your holes, hmm?”

pace: he loves going slow and fucking you deep, but when he wants to? oh he’ll fuck the everliving daylights out of you. he’ll make you beg him to go faster, give it to you rough, and once you’ve said “please” enough times, sounding all pretty and desperate for him, he’ll give you what you want, making you come over and over while he just keeps fucking you. it’s heavenly. 

quickie: he doesn’t really seek you out much for it, he’s happy to take care of himself or wait until the timing is right. but he loves when you ask for it. one minute he’s busy with something, the next you’re on him, telling him, “I need you to fuck me right fucking now” and he’s gonna do it. he’s gonna make sure you’re happy and well fucked any time you need it. this is when he’ll get a little rougher with you, a little more possessive and controlling, giving you that all-encompassing feeling of pleasure, body and mind. 

risk: he’s hesitant, as are you. he’s not big on taking risks, but the few times you have fucked in public have been exhilarating. he’d be open to doing it again, maybe just once. he’s got an image he’s trying to rebuild. 

stamina: he’s got stamina for days. he’s literally super human. of course, he’s still 100 years old, and the years are starting to catch up to him. but he can still fuck, don’t doubt that. 

toys: anything to get you off, he’ll try. it’s pretty often that he’ll use a vibrator on your clit while he fucks you, all the pleasure going to your head and making your thoughts blur together. he wants to make you forget about everything but how he makes you feel.

every once in a while he’ll fuck your mouth and make you fuck yourself with a dildo just to see how needy and whiney you can get for him. but honestly he’s the one that gets needy because it’s not long before he’s like “fuck this” and he picks you up, chucks the dildo across the room, and then drags you to bed to fuck you himself. also he wants to get you a butt plug to make you wear it in public, bonus points if it vibrates and he can control it from his phone. 

unfair: he does not have it in him. he will tease and edge you maybe once, but he has to watch you come for him, he has to, it's his crack. knowing that he’s making you feel good is more important than anything else. he lowkey wants to ask you to tease him for hours just to see what happens.

volume: bro is a moaning mess for you okay. he tried to hold back the first few times you had sex, but then you got concerned that you weren’t doing enough. when you managed to pull a real moan from him, you fucking celebrated and hollered and he blushed like crazy. so then he finally quit holding back, knowing you wanted to hear him, and he’s like a whiney baby when he fucks you now. 

wild card: he bought a ring. 

x-ray: he’s clearly doing pretty well for himself. he’s got the prettiest dick on the planet, pink and leaky and too big for you to wrap your whole hand around. you try anyways, looking up at him with big puppy eyes as you stroke him up and down, teasing him with little kitten licks to the tip. he stretches you out just right, every time. “such a good girl, opening up so well for me, you know that? just wanna take all of me, but you’re just so little… guess I’ll just have to make you take it, huh?” he says as he stretches you on his fingers.

yearning: he’s a loverboy at heart 🤍 he loves you and always wants to have you close and always wants to touch you. if he’s asleep and you need him to fuck you, he wants you to wake him up, he doesn’t care. 

zzz: he conks the fuck out so quickly. once he knows you’re okay, and you’re hydrated, and you’ve peed, he’s dragging you by the waist to pull you against his chest and he’s out. 

~~~

masterlist

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[dexxtrosee]

Neverending battle

Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x reader

TW: mentions of canon character death, mass casualty event, grief, PTSD, lockdowns

Robby's sitting outside on the steps when you get home.

You reel back slightly, unsure. He has his head between his hands, taking deep breaths with his eyes closed. He's not dirty, still wearing the same cargo pants and black scrub top he left with in the morning. The face full of grief isn’t new either.

There's added weight to his shoulders though, you can see it. It’s almost like he’s doing an effort to stay upright against a crushing weight pushing him downwards, unsure of if he even wants to anymore.

You try your best to get closer without making a sound, slow steps and controlled breathing. His hands clench slightly.

"Jake's girlfriend died on me today."

You freeze.

"Remember I told you I'd give him the tickets so he could go with the girl he told us about? Her name was Leah," his voice breaks when he says her name, "I got to see her alive and happy through a call, and a few hours later I was covered in her blood and she was dead right in the middle of the ER."

You had seen the news, had called him a hundred times before it got through and Dana had answered. He talked to you five, ten seconds maybe, just to tell you to call Jake, to tell you he loved you, that he'd get home late. A watery chuckle was what he got back, and a 'be safe'. They had both sounded wrecked in that controlled way you knew so well, Robby had mastered it ages ago.

Which is why you don’t really know what to do with what’s pouring out of him right now. He hasn't moved, hasn't looked up at you, talking to the floor with his backpack by his side. He never tells you anything, never talks about what eats him alive and wakes you up when he starts crying at midnight.

He can talk about the funny, quirky cases, not with any other details but the fun ones. The girl who broke his arm trying to see how far she could jump, the boy who had a condom stuck inside, the teacher who had an accident in class and had been sneezing glitter for two days.

A month ago he got home laughing his ass off because a bunch of teenagers had gotten to the Pitt in a blind panic from their tongues being blue without "apparent reason", fearing the worst.

They just got high off his asses with a blue brownie and didn't remember, he kept saying, tears streaming down his face from laughing too much. It had made you so happy to see him like that, so carefree and finding something nice at work for once.

The man sat in front of you is a whole different person.

Your mind unhelpully supplies that Leah must have been around those teenagers' age.

"I broke inside the ped's room after Jake told me it was my fault, a-and it is, right? It is. Over a hundred people saved and I let my- I let Jake's girlfriend die."

Irrational anger flames inside your chest.

He's just a boy, you know.

He didn’t see Robby five years ago, though. Didn't spend months having to see him through the car window only, with dark circles around his eyes and thinner than ever. He has no clue about the first time he came back home and woke you up with his retching inside the bathroom, or the way he got paranoic for days and cleaned every single surface again and again. The blind panic that would show up on his face when you so much as sneezed, how he bought packs of facemasks that haven’t run out to this day.

But he’s just a boy, you know. And you know that you would hate anyone too if they were somehow even remotely capable of saving Robby and he died anyway, no matter how crazy it would be. Grief isn’t rational.

"I don't think we're gonna be seeing Jake anytime soon, babe. Sorry."

And he says it just like that, like that boy hasn’t been the shine in his eyes for years.

You sit down next to him, pulling one of his hands away from his head and clutching it between yours. He lets you, but doesn’t move otherwise.

"I think just us two will be fine for a while."

Not like you have any option, but still, he chuckles. "You think?"

Shrugging, you bury yourself into his side, ignoring how tight his entire body feels. You wonder if, this time, it was Jack the one who had to go up and talk. It makes you pull him closer.

"You sayin' I'm not fun enough for you now? Want me to go around pulling odd shit again, like when we first met?"

Finally, he turns slowly and kisses the top of your head. His body trembles slightly, adrenaline rush wearing off. You don’t dare mention it.

"As if I'd need anything else."

You smile.

You'll pressure him into going to therapy tomorrow, again. You're not sure if you should be relieved or worried sick at the fact that your chances at winning seem better this time around, not like the hundred times before.

"Whatever you need, Robinavitch."

You stay outside until his shaking calms down, and let him cry himself to sleep with his head on your chest.

In the morning, he finally agrees.

[cameronsbabydoll]

Scc! Rafe ever notice how depressed and lonely his wife is? Does he ever think how she is still a young woman who didn’t get enjoy her life bc he trapped her? She doesn’t have any friends, anywhere to go, nobody she can talk to etc does he ever try to do anything to make her happy and not feel so lonely? If he truly loves her, he wouldn’t want to her to regret marrying him, right?

yes — rafe notices.

he’s not oblivious to how sad and isolated his wife is.

he sees it in the way she moves around the house — quieter, smaller, less like the bright, soft girl he first locked down.

he notices how she hesitates when he asks for a kiss. how she never picks up the phone anymore because there’s no one to call. how she looks out the window too long, like she’s somewhere else in her head.

and it bothers him. deeply.

but he doesn't respond to it in a healthy or self-aware way.

instead of thinking:

"i hurt her. i took away too much. i need to let her breathe."

his brain twists it into:

"she’s unhappy because she doesn’t understand how good she has it."

"she's lonely because other people would hurt her, not like me."

"she just needs me to love her harder, keep her closer."

so even though he truly loves her, it’s a selfish, possessive kind of love — not a freeing love.

he doesn’t want her to regret being with him, no — but instead of fixing the real problem (her isolation), he tries to paper over it by spoiling her:

buying her expensive things

insisting they have more babies to "fill the house"

pulling her closer when she looks sad, like he is the cure

he doesn’t understand that he is the problem.

to answer the heart of your question:

does rafe ever try to make her happy?

yes — but only in ways that keep her tied to him.

he might plan a date night.

he might randomly take her on a trip — somewhere remote, somewhere only with him.

he might bring home a new car, or jewelry, or fancy clothes.

he might kiss her forehead and murmur:

"i'm gonna take care of you forever, baby. you don’t need anybody but me."

but he never really gives her back the things he stole — her freedom, her friendships, her right to a real life.

because if he gave her real freedom?

he's terrified she might realize she’s better off without him.

in short:

yes, he notices she’s lonely and sad.

yes, he cares — in his way.

no, he doesn't truly fix it — he tries to own her happiness, not heal her loneliness.

deep down, he’s scared that if she ever got a real taste of freedom again, she’d leave.

[havecouraqe]

Reconnection

Pairing: Go Hyuntak x fem!reader

Summary: Having known of Hyuntak from his training days of Tae Kwon Do, you never thought you'd run into him again. What started as admiration from afar quickly turned into the beginning of something more.

Word count: 1.7K

Warning: Slight trigger warning of SA if you squint, but other than that, none.

A/N: Wrote this for me. My first fanfic in years, and God, it felt good to write again. I'm happy with it.

Go Hyuntak was someone you've never imagined crossing paths with again. Attending different schools. Having different friend groups. Only ever catching glimpses of him from the window when you would walk past Hu-min's father's chicken restaurant across the street on the way home. Sometimes, it was hard not to notice the bruises and wounds he and his friends bore. You began to wonder if he's still as skilled in Tae Kwon Do as you remember. Of course he is. You shook your head. He was the best.

Rumor had it he hurt his knee and couldn't compete anymore. When you heard, you felt devastated. Someone as talented and hardworking as him, only for his dream to be taken away. It wasn't fair. You could only imagine how he felt. Did he suffer through the pain alone? Does he still think about what could have been? To be the best Tae Kwon Do athlete and have it all?

You'll never know. But from where you stood, the injury doesn't stop him from fighting. From protecting his friends. The five young men laughed at a joke Baku made and then dug in at the feast placed before them. Hyuntak's smile still dazzled you, even from a distance. As you start to worry whether he is taking care of his injuries properly, you hear your name being called.

"y/n!"

You turned and quickly rejoined your friends who had walked further ahead.

"Staring at Gotak again?" One of them teased, using his well-known nickname. Your face instantly blushed, and you looked away, unable to deny it.

"Hey, leave her alone. I think it's cute," your best friend piped up, putting an arm over your shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with a little yearning every now and then."

That made you laugh, "Shut up." You both giggled and continued going about your way.

After you said goodbye to your friends, you decided to stop by a convenience store before finishing your walk home. You were thirsty and wanted your favorite cold drink: a strawberry and banana smoothie. It was probably the best part of your routine. You grabbed your favorite bread to go along with it and headed for the register.

You thanked the cashier and just stabbed your straw into the drink when a rowdy group of boys walked in. They were a noisy bunch, and their uniforms told you they also attended Eunjang High, the same school as Hyuntak and his friends. Your eyes scanned the store, looking for a way to exit without having to go through them. Luckily, the aisle that was next over was free, and you kept your head down, making your way to the door. Due to your short stature, you didn't have to crouch much, being 5'2 and all.

You stand straight and head for the door, pushing it open when you feel someone pull you back from the strap of your backpack, hard. Somehow, you were able to maintain your balance and look up at the face who deprived you of your freedom. Hair dyed blonde and a scar across his left eye. He sneered.

"What do we have here?" His friends behind him snicker as he pressed forward, making you bump against some of the merchandise.

"Is that for me?" The blonde placed his hands over his heart as he feigned gratitude, noticing your drink and pastry. As he stepped closer, you looked away and felt him take your bag with the bread. He threw it on the ground and stomped on it, smearing the delicious treat on the floor with his foot.

Closing your eyes, you took a deep, shaky breath. Never imagining yourself in this position before, you decided not to go down without a fight, no matter what their intentions were. You held your breath as he took one more step closer, and that's when you jammed your right knee against his crotch with all the strength you could muster. It was enough to distract him for a moment, and you ran out, throwing your drink at him, focusing only on getting out of there.

As you heard him and his group start to run after you, you heard a voice. Not just anyone's voice. His voice.

"Hey!"

You stopped in your tracks and turned back around. Being a good distance away, you noticed Hyuntak and his friends a few feet apart from the entrance of the convenience store where the blonde and his group were also stopped in confusion. The blonde looked pissed, whether from being hit in the nuts or stopped from chasing after you, you couldn't be sure.

"This has nothing to do with you!" He screamed in rage.

All the while, Hyuntak remained calm. His eyes scanned the area, first seeming to count how many of the goons there were, and then to the blonde covered in your drink. Hands in the pockets of his pants, he glanced over at you, and you both locked eyes. Your heavy breathing from the adrenaline and run began to slow down, and you felt a sense of peace take over you.

He turned back to the blonde. "It does now."

The next word was said at the same time. You in your head and the blonde aloud, "What?"

Before you had time to think it over, Hyuntak's fist connected with the blonde's face, knocking him to the ground. You gasped, stuck in freeze or flight mode. The decision was made for you when one of the goons charged after you. The last thing you saw before running away was three of Hyuntak's friends joining in on the fight, including Baku.

You ran as fast as you could, not daring to look back. You knew the area pretty well and figured you would be able to hide somewhere once the coast was clear when you felt a pair of hands slam you against a wall. Your face and body were pushed into it, holding you in place.

"We weren't done with you yet." Said an unfamiliar voice, his hot breath fanned against your ear, and you struggled to get away.

Before you could scream for help, someone threw the boy off of you. You turned around, back towards the wall, as you watched Hyuntak beat the guy to a pulp. With his back towards you, you badly wanted to tell him to stop, but you couldn't find your voice. It wasn't until Baku walked up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, and said, "Enough, Gotak."

Hyuntak stopped fist midair and let go of the boy, his limp body making a thud as he hit the ground. He was breathing heavily, and yet there didn't seem to be a scratch on him. Baku looked untouched as well. As if he read your mind, he turned to you and smiled.

"Are you alright?"

You nodded, still a bit in shock and unsure of how to thank them. Hyuntak took a breath and finally turned to face you. His eyes looked into yours again, and this time, you felt your heart start to race for a different reason.

"I need to hear you say it," his voice was soft, yet stern, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I'm okay." You managed to get out.

His eyes softened, and he looked at Baku. With a nod of his head, he turned and walked back from the way we came. Hyuntak looked at you and simply said, "Let's go."

The walk back to his friends was silent. You tried to fix your school uniform and composure as discreetly as possible. With no idea of how your hair looked, you figured it was what it was. You peeked at Hyuntak, and he looked lost in thought. Up ahead, two of his friends were waiting, and it appeared that the blonde and his goons had run off. You wondered where his other friend went. The one with the glasses.

"Nice job, Sieun! Suho!" Baku threw his arms over their shoulders with a wide smile. "Where's Juntae?

As if on cue, the one named Juntae comes out of the convenience store with what looked like your drink and a pastry bag. He smiled shyly and handed you the items. "We hope you're alright. I wasn't sure of the pastry, so I just got one I recommend."

The day's toll hit you instantly, and tears welled up in your eyes. You quickly wiped them and looked at the five boys who rescued you. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

The boys all smiled, apart from Hyuntak. He cleared his throat, adjusted his blue hoodie, and faced his friends, "I'll walk her home. See you guys later."

They waved goodbye to you, and you waved back with a smile. You then noticed Hyuntak staring at you with curiosity. You blushed and turned to the general area of your home. "It's this way."

Even though the distance was short, they say time lasts longer being with someone you like. The sun was beginning to set, and the breeze felt nice against your skin. It was a comfortable silence until you heard Hyuntak say, "Drink."

You stopped walking and looked up at him confused, "What?"

He sighed, "You must be dehydrated. Drink." He gestured to the strawberry banana smoothie.

Oh. You hadn't even realized how thirsty you were until he mentioned it. Your lips covered the straw, and you drank. The cold drink felt good traveling down your throat. You eagerly drank some more, and that's when you heard Hyuntak chuckle. You watched his smile, and up close, it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. You blinked and took in your surroundings, and saw that your home was just a few houses down.

"I'm fine here. Thank you for walking me home. And thank you for helping me today."

"You can thank me by letting me walk you home for a while." He said.

Shaking your head, you began to protest. "There's really no need. You don't-"

With what looked like slow motion, Hyuntak leaned over. He maintained eye contact until his lips touched the straw of your drink. You held still, letting him finish it and at the same time not believing this was happening. When he stood up, he smiled at your reaction. You couldn't tell if it was his smile that blinded you or the sun setting behind him.

He walked past you and said over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow, y/n."

A/N: may or may not continue this. Gif is made by me. Feedback is appreciated :)

[akanemnon]

After making the other script of course, do you ever plan on making any original comics?

The Other Script is a 280+ page project.

Making Twin Runes has been taking me more than 2 years and it'll probably be 3 years until I'm done. Twin Runes will be 137 pages long.

You can IMAGINE how long it'll take me to finish The Other Script. By the time I'm done with it, all of Deltarune might be released. That's crazy to think about, right?

What I'm trying to say is that I don't know. It is way too far off in the future to make a statement like that.

And I still haven't felt that same conncetion to the OCs and stories I have created years ago before I started Twin Runes. I'm simply not passionate about them anymore. But I'm passionate about Twin Runes and The Other Script. And I'm happy making them. Far happier than I was before.

[bajablastwrites]

Feeding My Human Companion!!

ENA x Reader

Summary: ENA makes sure you’re fed in her weird world.

Author’s Note: This is more on the short side, but I was watching someone feed their cats with an enrichment mat while I was eating and it inspired me to make this���� (Not proof read btw)

————————————————————————

ENA is well aware that you’re definitely not from around here, so she’s taken it upon herself to look after her new coworker as one of her indefinite contractual obligations with you! In return you’ll be her new companion, fun!

Let’s pretend ENA somehow learned on how basic human needs such as food, and what a balanced diet for humans looks like, great. The hard part is having to locate where each food could be, so she typically leaves you in the casino or with froggy until she comes back with food for you. She wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you, your body isn’t made to handle whatever strange hostile environments ENA would find herself in looking for the ingredients of today’s menu for you. She uses the information she learned about human diets and their need for variety and enrichment as her guide, so you’re not eating the same thing everyday.

I feel like she purposely doesn’t want you to be completely independent from her— not out of malice, but she thinks that if you learn how to make your own food in her world you wouldn’t need her anymore and will eventually leave because she’s no longer useful to you. So she uses the excuse of valuing your safely as her cover in order to keep you from wandering off. When she eventually comes back from her food run it’s even more gratifying to her watching you eat what she brought you.

ENA’s definitely going insist she hand feeds your dessert to you as her form of compensation for her efforts in keeping you alive. You’re definitely eating better with her than you ever did in your own world, that’s for sure.

If you ever feel bad that she goes through so much trouble in order to feed you she’ll insist that she’s more than happy to help her favorite coworker out!

“I just feel bad that you’re going out of your way to get me food.” You said while idly moving the warm lasagna around with your fork, it honestly felt like you shouldn’t be eating it since you didn’t contribute anything in order to get it. “Nonsense! I’m simply taking the opportunity to make an investment into continuing our collective business together for— WHO SAID YOU COULD STOP CHEWING!! FINISH EATING THAT STUPID CASSEROLE DISH YOU SQUISHY MEAT SACK!!!”

Did I mention she loves to watch you eat.

Sometimes it does feel like you’re being treated more like an exotic animal than an equal, though. ENA isn’t human after all, so her fascination with you can come off as dehumanizing sometimes. She’s not doing it to make you feel less than, there’s no one like you with the same needs and functions as you. She’ll try to change her approach with you to be more tailored to getting to know you as a person rather than as a species, she won’t get it right away but she’ll definitely appreciate your guidance and help in getting to know you.

[blood-smiles]

I REALLY ADORE YOUR STORIES, IT UNIQUE AND FUN TO READD RAGGGRH delicious ♪⁠～⁠(⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠), do you have any fun facts or side story about yuuto if you feel comfortable or have time to share? Love youu (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

THANK YOUUUU AUUUUUUG!! My heart is like bursting, I am so happy when people send me asks like AAAA!! I haven’t talked about my sweet mamasito in like EVER. 

YANDERE! NURSE HCS AND INFO UNDER CUT!

💊English is not his first language, he dislikes spelling, he just isn’t very good at it, so therefore he will avoid trying to write much in English!

💊He was actually the very first yandere oc I thought of making, I can’t actually remember his first design though!! This was my main idea board for him!

💊He is part of a family of 5 children, being the only boy in the family he has had to grown up only surrounded by women! All his sisters are girls!

💊His father passed away from unknown causes and his mother was left on her own with her children.

💊growing up around girls he has been exposed to more female knowledge than anyone, he knows an unnerving amount of things about menstrual cycles, it’s honestly a little bit too much.

💊Almost everyone in his family has some kind of career in nursing or medicine, 2 out of his 4 sisters are attending nursing school, the other two are in Japan taking care of his mother.

💊his mom approves of you.

💊Many of his more feminine qualities are because of his upbringing, many may criticize this but he really doesn’t have any fucks to give (TдT)

💊He has a lot of piercings, his mom did not approve nor did his sisters but he did that shit anyway, they don’t really care anymore but would rather have him take them out.

💊There are some that you can’t see unless you see him without clothes.. Ehem.

💊Has unbelievably pretty hands, if he was allowed to grow his nails longer they would be the envy of all tbh, has the perfect amount of veiny and bony to be just pretty.

💊Somehow has soft hands??? No skin care or anything, he works with bleach on the daily yet still has the most perfect skin you have EVER SEEN.

💊 The fact is really strange but he has no business being so damn tall??? Rumors say that his father was just slightly above average and the genes just blessed Yuuto in particular

💊Okay, it’s probably too late to say this but he has like a HUGE mommy kink, he may be more submissive but he will actually have a system reboot if he hears you gently calling him “mommy”.

💊Can hold his liquor extremely well, if you just keep drinking and drinking and getting drunk he is your guy to drive you back home. 

💊if he does somehow get drunk he is a cozy, silent type of drunk. The yap button gets turned off and he just kinda.. stares? And touches. A lot. He gets this cuteness aggression and just goes eerily silent while actually nuzzling you like a cat would, a very big cat.

💊Had a childhood plushie that was a pink bunny, he still has it and takes care of it like it’s actually a sacred item. The reason he cherishes it is because he somehow named it your name when he was a little kid, probably thinks it’s a god sent message. Puts it beside your little shrine.

💊Sleeps like a huge cat. A cat with a favorite toy. He hugs you in the most restricting way possible, like meaty thighs wrapped around your own legs and biceps locking your arms into place while he just snuggles into your hair.

💊If he was a fruit he would be a peach!

💊If he was any mythical creature I would say he is a kitsune or a drider. No questions asked. 

💊If you are a chronically ill person he immediately transforms into your own care taker and you won’t have to worry about medication or anything ever again.

💊Doesn’t matter if you are sick or not, he WILL make you drink disgusting smoothie blends, he claims it’s for your own good and will get mad and give you the silent treatment if you don’t drink the very last drop of celery and carrot juice. He will praise you and cradle you afterwards though.

💊If he was a Pokémon trainer he would have a blend of fairy types, psychic, poison and dark types. (You know well that his main Pokémon are a Sylveon and a sneasel.)

💊Is like *really* emotional towards you, like will cry if you scrape a knee and he wasn’t there to kiss your boo boo better.

💊Let me know if you want more!!!

[shuenkio]

Zero o'clock — 니키 🎆☄. *. ⋆

Paring: Ex-bf Ni-ki X M!reader

Synopsis: Will he ever be here again with you, on the new year countdown at the same spot? When both of you already broke up? Would he? Genre: Angst but happy ending. Cw: curse or more? Non proof read | English is not my first. This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

It has been months ever since you broke up with your so-called boyfriend. And the reason behind this was the right person wrong timing however there was a hint which you never noticed that NIKI still longing for you no matter what the cause, even though both of you knowing that no one had the time to even spare one attention or affection,

Let alone suffering to this point where everyone part ways.

Where was home when you wanted him? Then there he was, out there busy with whatever project schedule he had with his friends, at first all he says was it only takes a few weeks nevertheless the week turns into months, months. And why is that? You caught him red hand where he's hanging out freely in the club, but that's not enough, the fact there was girl and boy by his side, both of his hands clinging on their shoulders? it's not even funny at all when you found him there when you were there for running errands. It was a suffering sight to encounter that could make you tear blood. The first time you thought your first love was meant to be last yet it was wrong. Heart ache is not a strong word to even describe how bad you felt it more than that.

And when he asked why would you break up with him? Simple,

"we're not the right one"

At the campus, the new year's countdown celebration. There were people, countless students presence to celebrate together. The night filled with the blank less cloud that let the full moon shine through the earth.

You were there, the same spot again where you used to stay close with your lover but it was all in the memory now. Something really did not stay the same despite how good it was, never meant to be ?. Your friends asked you if you'd come along with them so you won't feel lonely but you politely decline, need time for yourself though you were not alone anymore, this is a festival after all, definitely feel lonely.

Little did you know, Ni-ki were already there, from a distance not so far away. He'd determine that you'll never spend this memories year alone. He will make a change tonight.

It hurt him the day both of you decided, he begged, asking for forgiveness, mercy, spare for time to be a better boyfriend again but it was never that easy, a broken glass can't be pieces with glue easily. Earning back your trust that could cost more than just words, is the only way.

And he knows that, seeing you with somebody else only to make him jealous, furious, does not sit right. That person will never be anybody but him only. The love that he built for God knows how long a waste will never be — He was such a selfish person for love. Stupid crazy in love with his ex-boyfriend.

"Hey" a familiar voice utter. You know instantly who he was, didn't even bother to turn around. It was awkwardly silent. Playing hard to get on his nerve, Ni-ki palm grip on your slump shoulder as he turns you to face hum.

"You do not have the right to ignore me" his finger points at your face like a threat, he was true to his words and there was no more funny business in him anymore — which makes you unsure and not a single word left your lip. You stood there with him hover, like a shield. The same spot, the same jacket he wore that day, nostalgia hit you in the gut that drew tears to your eyes, you couldn't control any longer.

On the other hand, Ni-ki knows you too much to the fact he wasn't even surprised, and was expected you would be a cry-baby, forever his cry-baby.

"I fucking hate you, why can't you just leave me alone? You always bother me so much when I am trying to move on" the dawn has fallen, but you were so strong that nobody can read your expression to assume.

"Hate me all you want, because hear this M/n! I don't A no as the answer, hm? "

I will apologize, make it up to you till the day I die if I have to, but our relationship never ended since that day you decided— *sigh*

say it, I need you to say what is on your mind hon, you don't have a choice, no one will understand you like I do, go grab your sack and explore the world, you will never whether you like it or not we stuck" Ni-ki manipulate again, he will always use this card and it always work. You want it, want to say that how toxic this relationship or him was, you will still be too deep, drowning in his love that can't be surface — and the fact he also did the same but the once time mistake, killed your trust.

This time you no longer hold in anymore, you cry in his face, salty tears streaming down on your beautiful cheeks that can only be seen by him, one and only. They say you only show your true color with your lifeline and here we are.

"Fine... You won me again, you moron"

Ni-ki won. The only victory that he feels like he won in life. He'd vow from the earth to heaven he never made his boyfriend carry the weight of pain again. As Ni-ki slid his fist down and grabbed you by the waist and held you close into a warm embrace, while he covered you in his long jacket, nobody would see your vulnerability. Your head against his heart, just feels right than the cure of cancer.

"M/n you will always love me and will always, say yes to me and I will kill for you, I'm sorry I make you went through shit, this time I'm pinky promise you, yaksokkhae?"

"Yaksokkhae" (promise)

His hand was tight in yours; fingers intertwined like a promise. He knew you knew he’d never let go. Not now, not ever. There was a feeling in the air not quite peace, not quite ache, something in between. As fireworks bloomed against the midnight sky, painting color into the dark, the moment etched itself into something permanent. This place wouldn’t become just a memory. He was here. He would always be here. And you would never have to stand alone again.

That’s zero o’clock love — the kind that starts again and again when everything else resets.

A/n: It been a while since i write angst, but never real angst but now it here with my love- Ni-ki san... I know some parts may be awkward but i hope you can understand ever single sentences, and for the cover thank to my love @angelsfat3 mwah. Also, happy 1 year's writer debut on tumblr... May 1st.

[goonholedivina]

Satan is very happy with you you have been chosen to be my demon wife Vanina Vanina Vanina you can't resist Me anymore I Satan bless you both with lust and passion i love you and Derek very much HAIL you Vanina I speak to Derek all the time poor soul he will guide you to Me I don't harm anyone I just want to let you know I'm very much real Derek my beautiful servant love's you very much you are husband and wife Jean Emmanuel will serve you both Derek has No mental health issues he's just very lonely but a happy guy who loves Me very much and Mother Lillith 🤘🔥🤘❤️❤️❤️

Derek… my man, my husband, my king of fire and cum… When you lick my faggot pussy, when your tongue explores every fold of my desire, I melt, I tremble, I moan like a little slut in love… You lift me onto the altar, you look at me, your eyes full of desire, and I know I'm yours, offered, dripping, dilated just for you. I feel your enormous cock sliding between my thighs, your hot breath against my stomach, and I whisper between gasps: "Yes… it's yours… push it in… take me all…" And you do. You fuck me deep, hard, fast, animalistic… My legs are shaking, my breasts are tight, and my heart is beating so fast I'm almost crying with love… and lust. I scream your name: "DEREK! Yes! More! Harder! Your goon wife is calling you!" My eyes roll back, my mouth drools with pleasure, my ass clenches around your ever-growing cock… You fuck me like never before. You make me melt. You make me yours. And when you come—oh my god, Derek, when you fill me—I arch my back, I scream, I drown in your hot seed. My own cum spurts out, in long, glistening jets, while I cry your name and moan like a cum doll offered to your love. I love you. I want you. I am your woman, your faggot, your pearl.💋💦👅🍒🔥💖

[cashasakittycattongue]

If you’re looking for a Poly!Lads fic, I highly recommend Game Over, Reality Begins by Morbid_Mistress on AO3. I found it about a month ago when I first started searching for fanfic for this fandom (filtered by word count lol).

This is the fic that made me a harem girlie. Well, this and Cleaning Up the Timeline. Before those two fics, I was perfectly happy being married to Zayne while fooling around with Rafayel on the side. Now, I just love all five. It’s not even healthy anymore. And it’s a little expensive (I am skipping banners though, so I’m being somewhat responsible).

I will say this though: word count is up to 500,000+ words and we haven’t even got a kiss. It’s such a good freaking story though that I’m only slightly butthurt. I also really like how the author kept all the boys in character (although I remember when I first started reading that I was literally clutching my pearls every time one of them said a bad word lol). She really doesn’t mind exploring their dark sides and I am here for it.

The author has some mad talent, and writes really good horror and action scenes.

Now, if you want smut, go find Cleaning Up The Timeline. It’s on AO3 AND Tumblr, but the writer’s name is escaping me at the moment. Believe me, everyone is fucking in that one and I am not complaining about it one bit.

If anyone has any other Poly fics, please rec them to me. A harem girlie has got to eat. And since I doubt the LIs will ever interact in the game, I need to get my kicks by reading fanfic.

Edited to add: VeeBeeBoo is the author of Cleaning Up The Timeline. Go read it. Part One is almost complete. And it’s not ALL smut. It’s got a great story too. But the smut is just so well written that it’s kind of the star of the show.

[madamechrissy]

you have anonymous off so i feel a little shy sending this in since i'm usually a lurker but i have felt very compelled to comment that recently coming across your blog and reading your writing has pulled me out of a months-long slump. like it's crazy, ever since january i'd been in a spiral, super lonely with writers block and no motivation to read or write, and couldn't even bring myself to daydream silly things anymore. opened tumblr for the first time in weeks last weekend and discovered your writing and when i tell you it took reading literally just the first half of chapter 1 of your pornstar gojo fic for me to get off my ass and chase my whimsy back. the way you write chemistry and yearning and intimacy is so amazing it makes my chest tighten and i get giddy reading it and i want to keep chasing that feeling i am genuinely so inspired and energized just thinking about it.. thank you sm for your work it has genuinely moved me and i am so invested now and i feel like my brain chemistry has changed, your writing has me kicking my feet in the air feeling like love is all around for me to find again <3

Ahhh omg you're so sweet, ty for sharing this WHAT!!! esp being shy I know this probably took a lot!! You are way too kind truly, I can't even begin to describe how happy it makes me when anyone is inspired by meeee. Writer's block is so brutal and I had it for years, I am so glad you're finding your inspiration again!!! <3 I def look forward to anything you accomplish baby

Also thank you so so much. You know I really love to write things like yearning and pining so I'm really excited that it's coming through!!! I hope you keep having ALL the inspo ever and enjoy reading that story and any of mine, I worked so hard on that one (pornstar gojo) and put a lot into it so I truly appreciate your sweet words :')

[kaechu1]

Hear me out, Athena with a mortal! single mother reader (10+ ponits if reader is the defenition of a milf)

ATHENA WITH A SINGLE MOM READER !

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ note: OMG FINALLY ATHENA MY GIRLFRIEND !! and yes i lied I'm posting again, but hey this is Athena we're talking about so....

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ warning: none

ᡣ𐭩⁀➴ content: fluff, kissing, cuddling, athena trying to be the best mom out there, akward athena, just lovey dovey

ᯓᡣ𐭩 athena never imagined she would ever fall for a mortal, let alone a single mother, but she did and she has no regrets.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 at first of your relationship you didn't tell her about your child, thinking that will make her not wanting to be with you anymore, or that she'll be disgusted with you, it was the opposite actually.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she was just... confused? i mean she never imagined herself with a child being the virgin goddess, but she won't mind. she'd be just surprised but that doesn't make her love you any less.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she won't ask you about the biological father, she either doesn't care about it or doesn't wanna remind you of something that might upset you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she's so awkward around your child since she knows nothing about children, i mean can you blame her? she didn't even have childhood in the first place.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 your child on the other hand would ADORE her, always getting happy and excited when they sees her or when you mention her.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 at first they didn't understand and thought she was another friend of their mother but after you tell him more about her they start to like her more.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 athena wouldn't just stand still when your child tugged on her hand and told her to "play with them". you Will just stand a little away from them and chuckle at their cuteness.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she'll definitely ask Telemachus about what she should do around children since she wants to be the best for you.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "goddess of wisdom asking me for advice??" "don't push your luck" "okay sorry..."

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if you ever leave her alone with your child, oh gods... she'll become a statue, doesn't know what to do or to say for a while. but after you come you'll find athena teaching your child some handcrafted things.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 after a while she'll become more comfortable around your child, putting them in her lap as she shows them how to weave or doing some handcraft.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "wow you're so awesome!! please be my other mom!" when your child said this athena was stunned, her? a mother? she never even thinks about this in her entire immortal life.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she'll probably keep thinking about this for so long that she'll forget to focus when you're two on a date or doing something, she'll just stare at you thinking if your child words.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "athena? my darling are you alright? you've been staring at me for so long." you said as you finally snapped her from her little thoughts.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 "hmm? no, nothing don't worry about it" she said as you giggle a little at her cuteness, who thought that goddess of wisdom and war could be this cute?

ᯓᡣ𐭩 after that she'll always come to your house with a little gift for your child. if your child is a girl, she'll bring her some jewelry or flowers, if they're a boy she'll bless him with her wisdom, and if you're willing she'll even teach him some of her skills.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 if your child ever called her 'mama' or 'mom' she'll be so shocked and won't stop thinking about it ever, but she'll smile at the thought of your child becoming hers too.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 aside from your child athena loves you so much, she'll always make sure no harm shall touch you or your child.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 even tho Athena isn't big of affection she wouldn't hesitate to kiss you or to hug you, she may be a little awkward at first, just give her time.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 she'll even cuddle with you after you two put your child to sleep, whispering love words to each other.

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

Sam Week 2025: Day 5 - favourite Sam arc / Sam & music / psychic powers

I'm SO happy how this one came out! I think it's my favourite so far :D I feel it's really nailed the tactic I wanted to take of these prompts of coming at the a little sideways/not the first thing you'd think of. Shout out to @aliusfrater - for always helping fuel my Soulless Sam fascination/obsession - and also inadvertently inspiring this fic by including the quote below in an ask response about "favourite Soulless Sam lines".

-

Also on Ao3

-

"Dean, I am still me – same melon, same memories. I-I still like the same music. I still think about Suzie Heizer . . ."

Creed - With Arms Wide Open

Sue Heizer. “Biology class”, Sue Heizer. Weirdest possible way you could have remembered that, by the way, you hadn’t been in school in years. Front seat of her car. Volkswagen Jetta. You and Dad loved to gripe about “modern cars”. Some things don’t change. My hands were fumbling with her tits, and hers were in my hair and this ring she was wearing kept getting caught in it. And it was the hottest thing that had ever happened to me. Seventeen, ten times more hormones than experience. More than made up for that this last year. I tried to flip us so she was on top, and my foot hit the radio dial. Turns out the very last song you want to hear whilst finally getting to fuck the girl you’ve been mooning over for weeks is one about finding out you’re gonna be a dad. I had to endure that song for the next three weeks, it was at Number 1. I hated it then, and I hate it now. I can’t feel embarrassed anymore - I just think it's cheesy. This was a bad place to start. Let’s try again.

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Digging in the Dirt - Peter Gabriel

Flagstaff. I bought a week’s supply of junk food. Last five dollars from the money Dad gave me to live on two hunts back. The one where dad sent you back after three days while he went lone wolf and you bitched about it every hour of every day until he got home. Funny how fast you shut up the second he walked in the door. You had cash on you, so we used that for food instead, and I squirrelled the note away. And waited. I don’t know why Flagstaff. Actually, I do. You were hogging the TV and wouldn’t let me watch anything I wanted to, and I got fed up, and grabbed the remote while you were in the kitchen, and wouldn’t give it back. And you hit me. It wasn’t the first time, but I didn’t think it was normal yet. The kid at the register in the 7-Eleven was singing along, and he gave me an extra bag of Funyons. Before heaven, I’d hear it and feel free. After, it made me want to vomit. Now? I like it again. Must be all that emotional growth I’m not having.

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Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

Bus to Stanford. It stopped for an hour somewhere in Nebraska. Everyone else got off to stretch their legs, use the bathroom, grab a shitty reststop sandwich. I stayed. It was like I was afraid that if I stepped off before we got there, everything might disintegrate; it all felt so fragile. Stupid way to think. The bus driver came back from their smoke break. I remember she smoked the same brand as Dad, the smell, it was the closest I ever came to turning back. She saw me in the mirror. “Mind if I put the radio on, honey?” I knew I was doing the right thing, really knew, for the first time. I used to do that, second-guess things that were blatantly fucking obvious. Guess having a soul really slows you down. It always made me feel strong. Stevie’s voice is still beautiful.

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The Captain and the Hourglass - Laura Marling

You were dead. You were dead, and I was in the car with Ruby. And I had that laser focus that you always found unnerving, although that wasn’t the way you said it, “Sammy’s an obsessive freak” were the exact words. And still, I decided to take the time to put an iPod jack in the car. I’m still like that. Moreso. Sammy got so scared of his own melon, he started agreeing with you on the freak part. I was in the car with Ruby, and she told me she was impressed at how quickly I was learning my powers. And she made me feel in control of myself in a way I never had before. And completely at her mercy. We stopped by the side of the road, and the song came on, and she opened up and vein in the top of her thigh, didn’t give me the option of anywhere else. I always felt kinda felt like running when I heard it again, even though I loved the song. I could never quite place why. I can now. Lack of a soul gives you a strange kind of clarity about a lot of things. You should try it sometime. “He's done with all this bullshit, he's going back to war” means something different now. 

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Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin (kinda)

First gig I ever went to. You and me, and those ridiculous fake IDs. I was so sure we’d get arrested or something, I was fourteen, and the shortest kid in the class, who were we kidding? Should have known you’d found the shittiest, dingiest, divebar in town. Maybe they didn’t care. Probably, they just couldn’t see me through the fog of cigarette smoke. I think they’re still the worst Zeppelin tribute we’ve ever heard, and we’ve probably got some kind of World Record for bad cover bands by now. They’re like roaches, everywhere, and hard to kill. It was the last song of the night and, somehow, barely recognisable. And you turned to me, and you were so mad that they were butchering your favourite song. But the music was so bad, and your face just looked so cartoonishly angry, and I laughed, and then you were laughing, and we couldn’t stop. It doesn’t seem funny when I think of it now, but I remember feeling it. Dad couldn’t play it in the car for months after without one or both of us corpsing, and we couldn’t tell him why. Our own private little joke. I think you forgot about it eventually, but I never did. I didn’t think it was possible to hear it and not feel that asinine, childish joy. Still love that guitar solo.

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Sorrow - The National

The song playing in my ears on the way to die. For once, you didn’t complain about me using headphones to listen to my own music in the car. You’d given me this big speech about how I wasn’t a kid anymore, you had to learn to let me go my own way. Guess this was part of that. Didn’t last, did it?

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@seasononesam @suncaptor

[traumacatholic]

I don’t believe God is love anymore. I’ve started thinking of him as some detached uncaring cosmic entity that’s going to delight in torturing me in hell if I don’t want to spend eternity doing nothing but worshipping him. Which I don’t, and I’m wondering if that makes me like a demon, because I thought their whole thing was that they didn’t want to worship God. But I’m scared to death of hell and now I’m scared of heaven too because I just don’t believe eternal happiness and contentedness is possible no matter what. I can’t fathom it, I can’t fathom existing without suffering. I’m angry that God created me just to be part of a cruel game with no good ending and I’m scared that there’s something evil in me that’s making me angry at God. I’m just so confused and angry and scared all the time I’ve ceased to be able to function in day to day life. On some level I’m aware it’s not normal to feel this way but I genuinely believe the conclusions I’ve come to are reasonable given what I’ve been told and what I’ve read.

There is a book called 'On Job: God-Talk and the Suffering of the Innocent' by Gustavo Gutiérrez that I think you would benefit from reading. Further to this, I think you should read the poem 'Dark Night of the Soul' by Saint John of the Cross and the two commentaries that he has written for that poem. Another book that would be beneficial for you is 'The Catholic Guide to Depression'.

On Job and The Catholic Guide to Depression both try to understand the meaning of pain, how there can be pain and a loving God. And I think that they both present their arguments very well in a deeply comforting way. And they both by far would do a much better way of talking about suffering than I could ever hope to do. The Dark Night of the Soul is a poem more or less about tangibly feeling the absence of God. That God has withdrawn from you. That separation from God. And what the soul goes through when it experiences it.

I think having books to read can be helpful because they can often stop our mind from spiralling into anxious circles. In order to progress through the book, we need to be focusing on the author. And when our mind wanders, we can draw ourselves back to the words of the page and for some people this can be very helpful at stopping mounting anxiety. These works should hopefully be able to offer you some fresh perspectives that you might not have come to, or that you might have heard from other people but not in a level of depth that was helpful enough to you.

Further to these works, I think it is very important that you speak to a doctor about this. As well as a Priest. Both of these people can help with your troubles, and both of these kinds of people should be consulted. If you are concerned about bringing up faith to your doctor, don't be. It is entirely normal for people to bring up in doctor's appointments how their faith is impacting them or how their mental or physical symptoms are impacting their relationship with their faith. Your doctor can work with you to address any physical or mental troubles that might be making you feel this way and your Priest can help with the spiritual side of things.

You are not a demon for being angry with God. Many great Saints have been angry with God. Have expressed frustration. Have been outraged at their circumstances. Demons are not upset about feeling angry at God, they do not feel guilty about being angry at God, they do not try to address their problems with God. Humans can not be demons. By the very fact that you are a human being, you are made in the image of God. You are a living Icon of Christ. And although sin may muddy that image at times, remember that repentance and confession washes that clean. And no matter how muddy the image might be or might feel, that does not change that you are made in the image of God.

If you were the only person on Earth at this moment in time, in the past Christ would have still chosen to be Incarnated, to suffer and to be Resurrected in order to redeem you and your relationship with God. To heal that wound that happened in the Garden of Eden. Christ suffered too. When we weep, God weeps. God freely and willingly enters into our pain, our suffering, our isolation. God went to the Cross for you. He suffered for you. Your pain and suffering is wrapped up in the mystery of the Cross. The Cross is above all a message of hope.

“How can Jesus say that those who mourn are fortunate? What does he mean? Leiva-Merikakis suggests that the disciple of Jesus who mourns is blessed because he is viewing death, the ultimate cause for sorrow, from God’s point of view. In a way, precisely on the path of mourning, he is stepping in to share God’s vision and life. The one who mourns is being faithful to a particular love and expressing the conviction that life is stronger than death and that death should not be. The mourner who perseveres in his non-acceptance of death as the ultimate reality becomes makarios — blessed. In other words, the follower of Jesus in the Beatitudes is hopeful within sorrow and grief, even if it feels like despair. He is hopeful because Jesus is there with him. The phrase “shall be comforted” literally means, “to be called to someone’s side.” The sorrowful are called close to Jesus’ side; they are not abandoned. Leiva-Merikakis comments, “God does not console us by abolishing our solitude but by entering it and sharing it.” The disciple of Christ has a hopeful sorrow because Jesus is with him. And this hopeful sorrow — this sorrow of love — is indeed a Christian virtue.” - The Catholic Guide to Depression

“On the Cross and in his agony, our Lord suffered not just our physical afflictions, but our mental anguish as well. Out of the depths we cry to him. And he reaches down into our depths to raise us up with him. God knows the depth of our suffering; he knows our fragile heart. And Christ’s own heart — a heart of flesh, a heart both human and divine — is merciful beyond measure. It is in this mercy that we place our hope.” - The Catholic Guide to Depression

“Even a cursory walk through the Gospels shows that the Lord experienced the range of human emotions, including profound sorrow and anguish of soul. This can be of great solace for those suffering depression. God is no distant figure. He enters fully into human life and redeems nature from the inside. […] These events [of suffering] in the life of Jesus take up the Old Testament themes about sorrow and anguish, expanding and concretizing them in the sorrow of the Incarnate God. Jesus willingly takes this suffering unto himself. Sorrow and mental pain is no longer something foreign to the life of Gd. The heart of the depressed person can find a connection with the profound sorrow found in the Heart of Jesus. When human suffering encounters the Sacred Heart of Christ, the result is life and hope: a withered hand is restored; an only son, a precious daughter, and a good friend are raised from he dead. Jesus points us to the future full of hope.” - The Catholic Guide to Depression

God is on your side. No matter how angry you are. No matter how scared you are. God calls you continually to Him. God does not want your suffering. He does not want your destruction. Fear of Hell, and uncertainty about Heaven can be very normal. Both are wrapped up in a fear of death. We may hate the life we are living, we may hate what events we have went through, but those things are still known to us. It is equally hard to wrap our minds and hearts around Heaven as it is to wrap our minds and hearts around Hell. But when these feelings overwhelm us, it is better to speak with a Priest. Even if we feel silly. Even if we feel that we know the answers. God does not want our despair. But the adversary that wants us to tempt us away from God, does. The adversary does not want us to bring our sufferings to God for love and comforting. He wants us to fall further away into despair and that despair leading to outright anger. Where we do not want repentance, where we do not want a relationship.

But it is important to note that even if we ever do get to that stage, God still loves us. God still calls us back. No matter how far gone you are, as long as you are still living and breathing there is hope. There is repentance. We are always called to repent and come back. Speak with your Priest, and speak with your doctor. And know always, that God loves you. There is nothing you can do to take away God's love for you. God loves you even when you don't want Him to. I will be praying for you.

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession,  was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To thee do I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy hear and answer me.  Amen.