#will respond to comments this week!
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By Starlight chapter 14 coming this Sunday, March 10th yee haw
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fireworks show 🎆
material preview version is very cute also :)
i struggled with the lighting on this one so badly, but it turned out alright in the end.
i actually started it last year for new years 2023 but never got around to finishing it, hence no progress pictures this time sadly lol. i do have a very low-res, first draft, test gif though
stills 🥳
#first post of 2024 hi happy new years 👋🎉#ts4#ts4 render#tw flashing#flash warning#< please let me know if i need to put any other tags#it took me a whole 90 minutes to jump through every loophole possible and make this gif under 10mb....#and now the qualitys shit#for the love of all things good please do not look at this on mobile#thanks for stickin with me through 2023 :)#i know i don't respond to comments or asks half the time but i read every single one and they make my day#sorry#haven't even started gameplay with them yet and i'm already making renders#spoilers for what relationships may form 👀#the urge to design the bands first album and photoshoot and everything is strong#but calm down girl you haven't even given them a name yet#i'll try make a sim dump for anon in the next 2 weeks some time#edits#for now goodnight
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y'know, i would really love if my adderall script could get filled sometime soon because WHY IS THERE STILL A SHORTAGE.
it's been like... two years now y'all, i am tired of playing the "oh just call every pharmacy in your area until you find one that can fill it" game.
like, wow, great advice to someone who struggles with executive functioning and multistep tasks AND ALSO hates phone calls.
#life is back on Hard Mode folks#and has been for the past three weeks#i just want to be able to accomplish Tasks in a timely manner is that too much to ask?#apparently#adhd#actually adhd#adderall#adderall shortage#SEND HELP#PS if i'm not responding to comments or messages#this is wwhy#and i am so sorry#i'm trying my best!!!#stay tuned!!
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Sorry, my socials/ao3 might be quiet for a while
#I see I have comments and asks to respond to#the thing is I've recently just lost someone close to me two weeks ago#I've never lost someone before so it's been??? hard???#finally feeling a little better but I'm not really in the headspace to do stuff right now#just posting gift fics and then taking it easy I guess
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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max has been bitching about george non-stop since saturday and george was the one having an unnecessary meltdown?
please. (Also learn how to tag things no one in george’s tag wants to see your nonsense)
I can tag things as I wish. That wasn't an anti-George post. I'm fairly neutral to him typically. That was me saying that he had the chance to deescalate and opted not to. I am perfectly within my rights to tag as I wish especially because I wasn't bullying or hating on him. I was criticizing a choice he made. He made it publically, so he can be criticized in a public forum so long as I'm not being hateful in my criticism.
Max said his piece on George and said he has never had anyone attack him like that in the stewards and he lost his respect. Which is his opinion. His only responses today were in response to what George said. But Max was not pulling out questionable quotes that can't be proven from the stewards like George did. He was not making up lies and false accusations in his statements. He was stating his opinion that George had acted one way in front of the cameras and then completely different behind closed doors. Based on today, I'd say that was pretty close to what George probably acted like behind closed doors and I can guarantee now that that's out there, George won't be playing buddy-buddy and trying to put his arm around Max tomorrow like last week. Thus proving Max's point.
End of the day, both drivers are allowed to make whatever statements they wish and know the consequences of them. Max stated an opinion that George was offended by, so George fired back. It's not him making statements that I'm criticizing. It's the statements he made. Saying that Max threatens and bullies people. Framing it as if Max is this awful villain that's out to murder people on and off track. Max didn't step a toe out of line with what he did on track and him "impeding" George on a slow lap was laughable since George had all the info and allowed his ambition to get better track position nearly wreck himself out. Everyone admits the steward decision was ridiculous so Max was right to be upset. But he didn't at any point step over the line and try to injure George even while wheel to wheel. Which is what he said Max threatened to do and would have done. And yes, Max probably would've braked later even if he went off track, but end of the day, George wasn't even there when it mattered, which is more a skill issue for him than a Max issue.
#now that last comment is inappropriate to put in the george tag#so i won't#doesn't mean it's not true#i suppose I could always put it in the gax tag#but I'm sure you'd be upset if it went there too#f1#actually you know what#i am going to tag the george tag#because I am not being hateful even with that dig#george admitted his start was shit last week#and i tag based on content#not based on someone else's feelings#i never post hateful things at all but if I were#then i'd use the anti tag#you seeing valid criticism and taking offense when your driver responded the way he did to criticism says much more about you than me#george russell#max verstappen
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just a quick ask to tell u it makes me super happy seeing the detail u go into when pointing out stuff u like about other people's art of ur ocs :3 it's so rare to see but it's so so motivating!! <3
Thank you! I don't take any interest for my art for granted, and if someone goes through the trouble of drawing my characters for me, I feel like trying to write a proper response is the least I can do. For a visually oriented person, receiving gift/fan art is a huge deal, it means someone considered my goobers worth their time and effort, they've probably been thinking about them more than a little and found them inspiring in a way or another, and I find that terribly flattering. It's extremely fun and interesting to see other people's takes on them. And I've drawn stuff for people as well, I know how nice and rewarding it feels to receive a response that is longer than a word or two. Positive comments like that can linger in people's minds for a long time, at least for me they do.
#this comes with a big serious disadvantage though#it often takes me a long time to write that response#my social batteries are extremely small and a lot of the time by the time I go online I feel too worn out to engage with people properly#I'm autistic anxious and severely depressed my spoons are in short supply at the best of times#I've always had really hard time putting my thoughts into words in a way that I find satisfactory#so I keep putting off reblogging gift art#because most of the time my brain is too smushed to formulate that meaningful comment I want to give#maybe that sounds dumb and fake#but this is something I've struggled with for years and I feel extremely guilty for keeping people waiting like that#often weeks sometimes months even#and potentially making them feel underappreciated and unnoticed#I'm also genuinely very scatterbrained and unorganized and I miss and forget things I'm supposed to do all the time#not to mention that I tend to have trouble keeping track of my mentions and dms and asks I'm only one person#so if you've ever drawn something for me and I didn't/haven't responded yet#please know it's not personal it's entirely my fault I'm kind of a mess#and chances are I'm still very much attempting to get back to you#feel free to remind me if you feel like I might have not noticed your post I really don't mind at all it often helps me a lot#and please if you can don't delete the post even if it seems like I didn't see it#because again sometimes it takes me a long time to respond#thank you to everyone who has stayed endlessly patient with me though I appreciate it#sorry this spiraled into a list of apologies and excuses this is actually something that bothers me a lot#because it's largely a mental health thing but easily comes off as ungratefulness#I'm trying to work on that#answered#anonymous
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y’all never under estimate the power of a comment. oh my god. a simple heart emoji to a full essay comment will make an author emotional <- coming from a fanfic author who received both of those comments today and genuinely teared up at both of them
#(also person who write the essay comment if u see this thank u so so so much omg)#(i’ll respond soon probably after finals week bc i wanna give it the perfect response it deserves bc it made me so emotional :()
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REN IM CRYING THEY EVEN STOLE ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR POSTS
your stowaway x Sunday reader
and "their" scenarios with diff hsr men bye
HELP. THIS BETTER JUST BE A FEVER DREAM. i sent an ask telling them to take it down but idk if it went through or not 😓🙏🏻
thanks for telling me arufhehhe 😭😭
#THANK YOU FELI I DID NOT NOTICE LOL#i cant leave comments cus tumblr is being stupid#still waiting for staff to respond smh#this is wild. ALL THESE IN A WEEK IS WILD.
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this amnesia AU is trying to overtake everything else I wanted to write first and I need to stop that from happening because it is too long for me to actually finish in my current state.
#if i can at least get myself to finish the anniversary oneshot that is already like 70% drafted then i will count that a win#but even that is weeks away from me being able to touch it#I don’t even have the brainspace to respond to comments rn#em post#but god this amnesia au is cooking
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hey so guessed who just got a comment from someone saying that I use character AI for my writing 😃 (i have never downloaded that app)
#spent weeks writing my sukka fanfict only for the first comment saying that I use AI#whoever invented AI lock your doors#and even im anti AI like I don't use it AT ALL 😭😭#zie yaps#looked at that comment for 5 minutes thinking of how the hell am i supposed to respond#by anti AI I don't mean those who actually use the c ai app#if u do that's great for you!#i mean just everything else AI that has destroyed in society#thought I'd clarify for a lil bit#sukka#i guess i don't know im pissed off
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listen. I can't stop watching that clip. doc is the representation I need: thoughts making a giant leap that seems logical and relevant to you before losing your own train of thought and ending up with the mental equivalent of a dialup noise.
#this is also how id respond to facing joe hills and improv after a week of grinding logs#i keep seeing slander in comments about how they find doc annoying but listen. i love him all the more for it.#hermitcraft#txt
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guys how am I supposed to write my silly little fics from the hospital :((
#I want event week to happen so bad#I want to answer by fun asks and respond to my fun comments and write my fun lil fics#smsn.speaks
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sometimes self care is drawing your own custom card holder cover
#oh ghostroach lovers u r in luck#my hairpin is the glue holding my id card together and not snapping open 😌#one more week and my internship will end...#which means more time to draw!! until my final exams hit me a wk later#waaaa why did they arrange theory finals AFTER the internship... how r we supposed to sit down and study quietly#after walking around n using the knowledge practically#maybe... i will stream to hold myself accountable... both studying drawing and studying of my finals after my internship ends...#my bedtime schedule will probably remain cooked so might as well use it to my advantage#remains a tentative plan but yeah maybe u guys can come and watch me fumble around and chat#i would love to join a discord but i would just lurk sobs#and i really want to talk with fellow roach and ghostroach enthusiasts!! but im afraid of saying the wrong thing or it can be misunderstood#so in the end i just say nothing which is bad because nobody knows what im thinking until i say it out loud#i just want to let you guys know that i appreciate all your likes comments and tags dearly and i dont know how to respond to them#twt is a direct reply so it doesnt feel weird to just reply#but tumblr feels different to me#rambling
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my toxic trait is that when someone says something nice to me online, I often get anxious so I try to take some time before I respond (especially on tumblr for some reason). and since time isn't real to me, it may take me days of mental preparing (a few days feel like nothing to me, but it's definitely something to other people kfjdh) and I very often forget to actualy respond
and then I feel too stupid about saying stuff because days have passed already
so please please remember that I see every comment and tag and I appreciate all of them! you people are absolutely awesome and I luv you all <3
#zankytalks#pwease forgive me dkfjgh#like oof i meant to respond to a few comments but it's been like 2 weeks maybe??? i dont even know?? and i feel so so bad dkfjhfd#fuqq...#i swear i dont mean to ghost anyone like that but i am so stupid
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Does no one else check to see when posts were vaguely posted? Especially when they relate to dates or "trending"? Am I going to have to start putting little datestamps on my posts?
#its fucking insane#the amount of zionists and pro israels in my notes trying to “own” me#by saying shit like#ha the israel tag isnt even trending#well it was#like a week ago#when i made that post#i know its not trending now#also does no one check the notes before commenting on relatively small posts?#like is it just a me thing to see if anyone else mentioned what i was going to say and see if op responded?#im probably just expecting too much from people who support genocide and refuse to do basic level fact checking#side note#biased isnt interchangeable with jew/zionist#saying someone is displaying a bias doesnt mean that theyre automatically a jew#or a zionist#saying theres a bias within tumblr staff isnt antisemitic or anywhere near a 'jews control the world' conspiracy#its a statement of fact#gods im being driven insane#between zionists pro Israels fucking swifties and vegans/animal rights activists#and also the jw friends of the family trying to lure me back with the promise of not havinf to wear a dress
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