#will probs maybe turn this into a series cause it was fun to write.

[doubleedgemode]

It's about time I drop my class ideas for the g.o. AU:

Note. I don't think the class names end in S if you're saying it on a plural way but, whatever:

Iops: Sol, Baiken, Leo, Zako B, Kliff, Slayer and Nagoriyuki (the latter two are iops in a much more vampiric way than usual)

Sadidas: Jam (being surrounded by plants does absolutely NOT help with a flammable restaurant)

Ecaflips: Johnny, Chipp, Zako C

Cras: Bridget

Xelors: Axl, I-No, Bedman and Delilah

Fecas: Potemkin, Answer and Anji

Sacrieurs: A.B.A, Raven

Eniripsas: Faust, Fanny and Leap

Ouginaks: Izuna

Huppermages: Ky, Judgment.. Zappa too perhaps?

Osamodas: May, Giovanna and Testament

EliAtropes: Ramlethal, Happy Chaos

Eliatrope Dragon: Elphelt

A very special eliatrope/dragon: Aria/Justice/Valentine (yes they're the same person in this au. Actually, it's not set in stone but at least Justice would be a super cool dragon for sure)

EliOtropes: Dizzy, Sin

Maskeraider but, not like the canon ones, I think: Jack-O

Minor almost godly spirits which are basically personifications of the Paladir/Necrome thing: Undine and Necro, respectively (come on even his name fits)

Regular unaffiliated humans: Goldlewis, Vernon, Daryl (I might make him a hupper..? but maybe he'd then be too similar to Ky) Crow

Steamer: Haehyun and Zappa (that or a hupper or unaffiliated..)

Steamer adjacent robot or something: Robo-Ky and RK MK II

Sacrimages *: Asuka

Srams: Millia and Venom

Roublards: Zato and Zako A

Shushus: Eddie, Lucifero, Roger, S-KO, Angra, the bad guy that got ahold of Judgment and Paracelsus

Elemental/or some sort of regular dragon: Dr Paradigm (I GUESS)

As for Leopaldon.. I don't know. Maybe the human is an osa, the dog is a mulou and the gear is a shushu but.. Dunno. Leopaldon is Leopaldon lmao

Idk for Ariels either.. Maybe a hupper?? Probably I'll go the boring routes or make her (spoiler) canon in this au, as the gg one, or just a high level shushu

Goldlewis' coffin friend: A very minor god who's almost in the verge of disappearing due to people not believing in them. Their only believer? Goldlewis, but he believes they're an unexplained monster (monster as in the kros.moz definition where they just commonly exist) so, they're there but not that powerful..

Janvis or whatever the jellyfish cat is called: Chacha :)

*ofc hybrid classes are a topic of contention but, they are Technically canon yet very rare. Asuka is straight up a Hupper, and probably was one before, but his perspective about pain and his eye thing that remind me of larmes de sang (sacrieur technique) gave me the vibes so he became both. Sacrimages is a made-up word, but with Nitura calling hybrid classes a combination of their names (ex: osadida) I thought Sacrimage would fit the bill.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

I'm Nele and currently I'm working on a uni project about graphic design and probs in TV shows and of course I chose Sherlock.

I want to recreate the box with items from Lestrade gave John in Many Happy Returns. I have to create at least one item/graphic that would change the course of the series, so I would love to do one or more items that make it clear to John, that Sherlock is alive. I thought about a letter that sherlock wrote, but I think that's a bit too obvious.

Graphics could be a newspaper, label, postcard, letter, sticker, brochure, etc. Anything that's printed or written. But if you can think of anything even if it doesn't fit in this category, just write it anyway. So my question is, if you can think of anything that would fit, or if you could ask fellow sherlock fans if they could think of anything?

I would reeeaally appreciate your help!

Hey Lovely!

Oh gosh, this is a fun project, and appeals to my graphic designer soul! Hmmmm what about a journal Sherlock kept, or does it have to be an actual item that was shown in the box?

'Cause like, the DVD itself was KIND OF low key a clue to him being alive? Maybe a few words of the message on the DVD is different instead. OR the Pink Phone could have texts sent to it (the headcanon that Sherlock made texts every day he was away and never sent them, what if they were instead sent to this phone that Sherlock thinks John would never turn on?). OR maybe a secret message in the patches box? I dunno! Sounds like fun.

Anyone have any additional ideas?

[muniimyg]

aao - hiiiiiiiii . first of all my english is not great but i hope my message reaches you!

“all at once” was a work of art!!!!!! you’re insanely talented. rn i’m going nuts with the last chapter... the “Yet, maybe that’s what it takes to find love. To get so lost in it and then to suddenly find it in his presence—it’s indescribable.” part was so sweet i cried… ok ngl i cried thru the whole chapter cause it jus made my heart so full?? like its so beautifully written??? even though its fanfiction and bla bla bla, something about it felt… real? the pining, the yearning, the worries that go thru her mind bc she’s jus sooo in love and confused felt familiar,, her personality lowkey reminds me of mine so it felt like something that could go thru my mind too, yk? i couldn’t help it like now i wanna fall in loveee LOL.

no but really this mini series were so soft and cute and fun i felt all fuzzy and warm inside throughout the chapters,, even the little angst felt right 😭 also the characters are so lovable and silly <3 (THIS JUNGKOOK WAS THE BESTTTT OMG) and their bond was so cuteeee i’ll miss them. the ending was perfect, really. 🥹 i’ll keep up with all ur work so sorry in advance for the notifs. ty for ur service!!!!

sry is this is a lot ? hehe :p

omg i literally wait for msgs like this <3 thank u so much for sending in ! u made my day !! english is not my first language either ,, urs is perfect :)

thank u for feeling all of this !!! aao was truly so cute and meant to be childish in the sense of being so real with the uncomfortable feelings. falling in love for the first time (i imagine) is filled with all the twists and turns. probs not as dramatic or as sexy as this jk,, but it's definitely an experience.

thank u for ur warm love toward my writing <3 i'm so touched and truly hope my content makes ppl giggle and sigh.

ps. i'm sorry for the extra i'll be posting soon... let's jus say someone is gonna be a nasty girl :')

mwah

[amoosewritesfanfic]

Prompt 6: gagged

[+18]

[Shinsou Hitoshi x female reader]

[Pro hero Reader X Villain Hitoshi]

[Warnings: gags, choking, violence, mentions of blood, throat fucking, self harm, nonconsensual, mind control. It gets kinda gory at the end so beware of that!]

[I own none of the characters or art, all credit goes to the original creators]

-

-

One of the most notorious members of the league of villains...

Hitoshi Shinsou.

You weren't expecting it, not in one bit.

Your ex classmate of sorts... you heard he went missing after the Bakugou incident when the league captured him.

You thought about him from time to time, but when you heard that he became a villain it took you by surprise.

It had been a few years and you had finally become a pro hero.

You were sent in as a team to apprehend him since he was meeting with someone important from the league but your entire team had gotten taken down by not just him but by Mr Compress.

All seven members and you were the only one gagged and bound to a chair.

Did Shinsou remember you? Or was this just him toying with you because he could?

"You're Y/N right? You were in UA." He was sitting in front of you, leaning back on the chair.

"Oh shit yeah you're gagged so I suppose that doesn't help. I can't have you talking either. You might set off that dangerous quirk of yours~" he teased with a grin.

Your quirk was words.

When activated your words have a heavy meaning behind them.

If you tell someone to stop they'll stop, if you say destroy whatever to whatever object is in front of you it destroys itself.

Its similar to Shinsous brainwash quirk but far stronger as far as you're concerned.

"Don't worry. You won't get hurt~ I'm thinking of keeping you~ I'll keep you gagged the entire time because I know how you'll get wanting to escaped... or maybe I'll cut out that pretty little voice box of yours~" as he spoke he stood up, standing in front of you as he dragged a finger along your throat making you shiver.

"If I do that your quirk is basically rendered useless." He said pulling out an army knife from his back pocket, a snide grin on his face.

Your body tensed up and your eyes widened.

"Poor kitten I wouldn't cut you up... well not yet at least. Not until I hear that pretty little voice as I fuck you silly first~"

'How cruel...' you thought to yourself.

You glared at the indigo haired man, brows furrowed slightly as means to stand or sit your ground.

"Be grateful it wasn't Shigaraki I was meeting... he would have disintegrated you, I'll get to keep you as my pet this way~" his hand cupped your cheek, the pad of his thumb running over your cheekbone.

You pulled your face from his hand still glaring at him.

"My kitten you're being feisty. If I recall the first time we met you had me pinned down, if I recall you were dared to... you the straddled me and kissed me." He said smirking

You searched your mind for that memory he sounded happy about...

Why did you do that?

It was a dumb dare that one of the girls said you couldn't do and you decided to prove them wrong.

You couldn't look Shinsou in the eyes now.

"Do you remember? It's odd we never spoke much after that, maybe a few training sessions but nothing more." He said as he forced you to look at him.

"But my what a pretty body you have."

The blade he had in his hand gently dug into your hero suit and sliced it open.

Curse the skin tight suit...

You may regret not wearing a bra now... you were wearing tape over your nipples which he saw the moment your breasts came out in full display.

"Oh look at those perky breasts of yours. I wonder how much they'd swell up if I got you knocked up." He joked.

"Oh don't give me that look kitten~ I would never knock up someone, it's too much responsibility. I'll have to get you on the pill to make life easier." He said stroking your cheek which you didn't pull away for the time being.

His free hand peeled off the tape covering your now erect nipples, making your body tense up slightly.

"Look at you getting all excited~" he teased pulling the hand that help your chin away so he could zip down his pants, his fingers pulling out his hard length.

He was... big.

Bigger than you imagined and it fits his equally big ego.

He pulled off the gag but grabbed your face and shut your mouth by shoving his fingers into them making you whimper a little.

The pad of his fingers running along his tongue as he started thrusting his fingers in and out of yout mouth making your brows furrow slightly, he was trying to build up saliva...

Once he was happy, he pulled his fingers out and replaced it with his cock, not giving you a moment to talk.

His cock slid into your mouth with ease, he couldn't help but groan as fingers tugged at your hair and his other hand clenched your jaw.

He pulled his hips back slightly before snapping them forward burying his cock deep in your throat making you gag on it, but the male didn't stop there no.

In fact his hips started thrusting into your throat at a fast pace not giving you a second to breath out to think.

Gagging and choking noises fell from your lips as well as saliva dripping down your chin and onto your breasts.

He didn't let up, the only time he slowed down was as he neared his orgasm, his cock buried deep in your throat as it pulsated indicating that he was about to cum, his one hand tugging at your hair as he released his load with a satisfied groan.

You had no choice but to swallow his load, making your body tremble slightly, he pulled back looking down at you licking his lips.

"What got nothing to say?" He asked.

"Fuck you...-" you didn't release that he activated his quirk, your entire body was tingling as it tensed up.

He untied you and ordered you to stand up.

"I know you're really good at stitching up wounds but I do have a doctor here just in case you pass out or something... but cut out that voice box of yours can't have you destroying everything all willy nilly~" he hummed as he handed you the knife and with zero hesitation your body cut at your throat, blood splattering all over you and the floor. How your body knew where your voice box was...

Gods it was beyond you but you removed it swiftly, you felt the blood rising up your throat and into your mouth, gargling noises escaping your lips as you dropped the knife to the floor and applied pressure to your neck.

He stopped his quirk and you fell to your knees, hands holding at your neck trying to stop the blood but it was becoming hard.

You felt like you were gonna pass out.

"Theres a good kitten. The docs gonna help you now~" the indigo haired boy cooed as he moved out of the way for the doctor to attend to you.

"This is just the beginning kitten I ain't done just yet~ when you're done make sure shes cleaned up nice and good doc." Shinsou ordered getting a nod from the doctor.

What a cruel twisted thing...

-

-

[It had to take a dark turn. I havent written a dark turn in so long and also I don't know how the human body works I'm just dumb, so if I messed that up I'm sorry lmao]

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I am of the opinion that PQ2 should have been released AFTER P5R

Tbh PQ2 is placed where it is because of the 3DS' life cycle. I'd place it farther but the PQ series working on Switch(+maybe other places) is most likely reliant on the/an EO's switch game (to help adjust the formula). If it wasn't for that, I'd probs slowly remake/port P1-4 while spewing out more/different P5 spinoffs before we get to PQ2. (so I don’t disagree, there’s a couple of ways they could’ve gone about it, but even tho it’s speculation it’s fun, none of it matters cause we probs got the worst timeline ;w; anyway time to just ramble about related stuff 8U) (but I would love to hear your opinion as to why you think that’s the case!)

Word vomit word vomit~! Under the cut cause I can’t reply like a normal person 8U ;x; (don’t mind me the gears started-a-turning aklfjdsakl)

Tho tbh, from what we got with PQ2, I dunno if Adding Sumi and Jose would be good. PQ2 is pretty directionless with it's cast imo, like it has something to say but half the time they feel like mouthpieces and not actually......the characters we know being involved. It already has a handful of b/c/d/f plots and it barely even dives deeper than a kids wadding pool with them orz I'd say what's the harm in adding Sumi/Jose since it already can't handle the cast it's been dealt it won't hurt having two more, but do I WANT Sumi/Jose (and possibly Takuto) to suffer for that? Nah. I'd rather we get a PQ3, were we can focus on the implications of Sumi having just awakened and the team side eyeing Joker/Mona for not telling them and all those implications. Her bonding with the team would probs be drowned out by Hamu and Hikari (when they actually feel like giving them some focus that is), plus Goro's stupid bullshit just.......listen.... PQ1? Chars can be a biiiiit mean at times, and are flanderized, but damn do they all feel involved and still have some remnant of their original personality (they aren't flanderized all the time and not all chars are flanderized) but man did they feel important to the game. DX I’ll take it over the clustered bullshit that is PQ2 orz

Anyway, tbh, now that I think about it, P5R should’ve been released in 2021ish time. For a PS4/PS5 release. Would’ve given the PS5 another flag ship game, and justifying it on another console as well (plus a 4 year gap feels a little more justified than a 3 year gap, esp when there’s a new console involved). It also doesn’t help we got two horrible failures of spinoffs in between P5 and P5R (one is the P3/5D and yes I’m counting them as one game, and PQ2 who is at best a slog and at worst is one of the biggest thorn in my side lore wise since P5 sauntered onto the scene...that being said I mostly blame the failure of that game on the dead console it was on). A remake and/or Scramble honestly should’ve been the next game right then and there (oh hey where have I seen that before? Oh right, P4. And it worked, we had about 3 remakes/enhanced ports before our Arena/sequel but still it worked). Not “cash grab the game” or “let’s just set the poor thing up for failure” the game. Like PQ2 would’ve been ok to fail if we at least got a remake and P5S (and I really don’t give a shit about P5S, but it def should’ve been there early on). 

And an extra bonus with P5S releasing early is that, after P5R released, we could have a P5S re-release with a tweaked storyline maybe involving Goro/Sumi/Jose/yadda yadda on the PS5! Is that a bit cash grabby? Maybe. Is it at least cash grabby with a purpose? Yes. We want purpose. Purpose is good. Purpose, means they have our interests in mind. 8U

*inhales* tbh....the PQ2 we got....could’ve/would’ve worked better without the P5 cast. I KNOW, Silly hates-a-the-P5, but.....at this point it’s not even that. There is one char that really tries hard to relate with Hikari that isn’t the shut in bullshit (yeah sure let’s give Futaba more screen time, it’s not like she didn’t have enough of that, nothing against shut ins, just P5/Q2′s writing). And it’s Hamuko. regardless how you feel about the FeMC, the B plot of “I am all alone, I am separated from my loved ones, the same loved ones I see look the same but aren’t them (oh hey another Tatsuya parallel 8U), and to top it off some stranger is in the role I’m supposed to be in. Am I replaceable? What’s the point of my existence if I’m not the only one who can fulfil this role?” have an entire game based on that existential crisis. We don’t even need the same setting/cast (Hikari/Nagi/Doe), actually I’d keep the Climax Theater but I’d lean HEAVILY into the P2 references/themes and such (Hamu already has a lot in common with Tatsuya, this just adds to it even more!). That B plot with Hamu could probs carry a game itself, or her issues can easily tie into the A plot of that game (like how Rei/Zen’s did with PQ1). Don’t delegated it to a watered down B plot that PQ2 gave us. jfjsadfj hell this probs would’ve been a better time for Sumi to be involved instead. Instead of the P5R new char, she’s the new PQ char and hey they can bond over that (sure we can do that in the current PQ2 game, but we can’t fit it in that well cause we have to tell the P5 cast how cool we think they are! even tho they haven’t really done anything but breathe! >8U)

It’d be a good follow up to PQ1 esp if released not long after, with it being a P3xP4 crossover, it’d 1) feel almost like a direct sequel, 2) riding the coattails of PQ1′s success at the most timely of times, 3) connected with 2 but it’d be at the hype of the 3DS, 4) we don’t have to worry about fans not knowing who they are since that cast is still relevant, 5) it gets Hamu’s thing out of the way so that PQ3 can allow the P5 kids to shine! Cause I’mma be honest, the PQ2 we got doesn’t really make them stand out, outside of the Kamoman dungeon. Plus it’d allow us to give more screen time to juicier B plots that people probably wish for with a P5 involved PQ game (such as Goro, I know y���all thirsty for him, this benefits you guys!)

Ah sorry you probs didn’t want a rant klasdjfalf just tired and the gears started turning and ahhhhh orz Anyway, again, I don’t disagree with you anon, I def think they could’ve done things differently and done it a lot of different ways too. XU And btw I’d love to hear more why you think that! 

[peacefulwriter88]

F**k Buddies

Johnny Storm x WoC

Warnings: Language (duh) SMUT (also duh) so 18+ children

A/N: I am feeling not great enough to write for any of Seb or Chris’ other characters right now but I can write random, no plot drivel with a not so serious character like Johnny Storm.

I can also foresee this fun little one shot becoming a mini series. So maybe prep for that. And by maybe I mean it's probs gonna happen. As usual moodboard by me so give credit where it's due!  

As always moodboard created by me so like/reblog for credit 

_______

Your room danced in cotton candy pink, sorbet orange and candy corn yellow, flickering over your cherry oak dresser, a small pile of discarded clothes and the large queen size bed your aunt had given you when you had decided to move to New York.

Its bright enough to make you groan as your hand naturally reaches out at your nightstand, grabbing your phone and checking the time.

8:05 a.m.

Why did you naturally wake up so early on Saturdays?

You throw your phone back on the cheap oak wood, turning over to your side and nearly scream.

Sleeping peacefully by your side, mouth slightly ajar and long lashes tickling his cheek was no other than your handsome though very annoying brother’s best friend.

“What are you doing here!?”

Your voice is too loud, causes you to wince and grip at your pounding head hating, hating, hating whoever had convinced you to pound the tequila that you knew would take the next two days to work its way through your body.

Johnny moans, his eyes pinching together before he opens one, his bright blue eye greeting your own.

“Oh shit….” he closes his eyes, snuggles deeper back into his pillow as he mumbles, “you actually slept with me?”

“I did not -” you want to finish the statement, want to make it adamantly clear that you did not allow Johnny Storms nasty most likely STD ridden dick to enter your vaginal walls but a shift under the covers reveals your nakedness, the delicious soreness that can only come from a fresh fucking and you groan, shaking your head.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my gooooood.” you squeak and Johnny chuckles, shifts his body to situate himself closer to you.

“Relax. I feel like a truck might have hit me but I feel like we were pretty good together.”

“Oh no. No, no, no - none of that,” you shift, trying to push him away from your body but he’s sturdy - fuck his pounds of muscles that your hands were enjoying just a little too much as they slid over his chest. “Get away! Go home!”

“I live on the other side of town,” he groans, easily throwing an arm over your body and placing his face in the crevice of your neck.

“Can’t you flame your ass on then? I need sleep. I need a tequila detox. A Johnny detox. Probably need to get tested for cooties. And STD’s.”

“Ouch Y/N. What did I ever do to deserve that string of insults?” his face is still hidden in the crevice of your neck, the vibrations of his words tickling your neck, “Besides. I’d love a sober play by play of last night's events.”

“No. Johnny - this isn’t a good idea,” already probably one of your worse. “We made a promise to each other. In the 11th grade when I kissed you after my asshole boyfriend broke up with me prom night. We wouldn’t sleep with each other. We wouldn't make it weird.

This. This just made it weird.”

Johnny sighs, looks up from his place at your neck,

“Jesus Christ Y/N can’t you give yourself a day and not be a tight coil of fucking stress?”

“You know I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.”

“Yeah you and the other 90% of un-diagnosed American’s in this country. It's called societal pressure and it only affects you if you give two shits in what the masses thinks about you.” he deadpans and you scoff, before smacking his head.

“Oww,” he laughs. “The fuck was that for?”

“Being rude. Anxiety isn’t funny.”

“I never said it was. I simply - “

“Simply had to open your stupid mouth and prove how smart you are. Noted. Got it. Whatevah.”

You throw your head back on the pillow sighing and Johnny exhales, raises his head higher to get a better view of your face. Your eyes are focused on the ceiling, he can feel the way your right finger taps quickly against your mattress as you take deep, long breaths.

“Y/N,” he says softly and you flicker your eyes over to him, “What's really so bad about sleeping with me?”

“Beyond the fact that you can’t keep your dick in your pants?!] You’re just this player asshole guy that like will fuck anything that breathes with a vagina, you don’t have any respect for any girl and, and and….” you don’t want to say the rest.

You don’t want to get attached to the human torch.

Johnny was funny, witty, talented. But he was a lady’s man and an asshole, his ego had grown monumentally since becoming the torch (and that was saying a lot for someone’s ego who was already as big as the sun) and so what you crushed on him since you were in 6th grade. Johnny didn’t take women seriously. They were a past time or a hobby.

Like baseball or knitting.

You didn’t want to be a past time in the Johnny Storm little black fuck book.

“And……?”

“Don’t fucking worry about it. Just….leave.”

Johnny watches you, eyebrows raising before shaking his head,

“No.”

“No!?” you ask incredulously, looking down at him and he smirks, nods.

“Yeah, no. I don’t want to leave yet. I want to revisit what happened last night.”

“Listen I don’t know how attending a scientific museum gala to honor Reed and Susan turned into me taking a lot of fucking tequila shots and then dragging you to fuck me stupid at my apartment...oh fuck!

I hope, pray, will that Julie left last night. Fuck.”

You throw your hands over your eyes, not caring that it's going to shift your fake lashes. If Julie knew that you fucked Johnny she’d never let you leave it down.

“Fuck Julie and I are Eskimo sisters.”

“Not technically,” Johnny says, his hands moving over your lush thick thighs, dancing to your center, “Technically Julie gave me a blow job and I didn't return the favor. So really, you’re more like Eskimo cousins? Second cousins?”

Right. Because that would make it better.

Though you couldn't get that out, no, not when Johnny’s large hands were distracting you.

“What are you doing?” you ask shakily, wishing you could combat what he had just mentioned about your roommate but unable to focus on anything but the way his long fingers slowly spread your legs a part.

“What are you talking about?”

“You! What are you doing?”

He smiles as he looks back up at you, full lips tugging into a smile as his index finger skims up the folds of your vagina, causing you to catch your breath as your eyes fall on his. He’s watching you, curiosity dancing in his irises.

“Stop it.”

“Okay. Though...I think you like it…”

He dips a finger in, teasingly and you naturally hum, arch into him.

“....you’re being manipulative.”

“I’m being curious. Besides, you look beautiful in the morning.”

You snort out laughter as your eyes fall on him,

“Wow. That an original that normally works on the ladies?”

Johnny pulls a finger away from you completely, out from under the covers,

“No, I don’t normally tell the ladies anything of the sort. Sure if there hot I’ll give credit where it's due but I’m not responsible to build their self-esteem. That's what their future boyfriends are for.”

“But you care enough to build mine? Right...” your voice is skeptical as he inserts the finger that was just in you in his mouth, sucking on it slowly before releasing it from the grips of his tongue with a pop.

“Hmmm. Delicious.”

You lick your lips, shift your eyes away from his face. Move it away from the satisfaction on his face from your flavor and he smiles as he pulls the covers down,

“It doesn't have to be serious if you like.”

“You’re never serious Johnny,” you whisper as your breast spring free from your comforters confines, your nipples betraying your attraction and he bites his lip as he flickers his eyes down to them. “I just don’t want to soberly be …..dumb.”

“You couldn’t be dumb even if you wanted to be Y/N,” he bends down, his hot breath hitting the fatty tissue of his breath, “But if you want to fuck on and off casually I’d be down for that. I could commit to fucking you regularly if you did the same.”

“That’s called dating Jonathan.”

“Whatever.” his mouth encapsulates your left breast and you moan, hands naturally moving to his buzzed hair as his hands widens your legs, fingers finding your clit and squeezing it lightly, causing you to whisper out his name.

“Fuck yes…..” your voice wavers and Johnny smiles against your skin, looks up at you.

“You’re fucking hot when you’re turned on.”

His tongue darts out, slowly teases around your pebbled nipple, eyes never shifting from your own and there is something enticingly erotic about it, causing you to watch him as he plays with your clit slowly, watching the way you react to him,

“Okay...” you groan, annoyed that he won. Annoyed that he knew how to tug on your strings so he could win.

“Okay what?” he asks innocently, mouth moving towards your other breast and you throw your head back on your pillow as you moan out,

“Okay let's be fuck buddies.”

He snorts, shakes his head as his mouth envelopes over your right breast, gently bites down on it. You push him closer, causes him to moan around the same time you do and he ruts his hips into your mattress, causing your vagina to clench around nothing.

You wanted him in you so bad it wasn’t fair.

“Great. That’s all I’m asking. Nothing serious. I fuck you. You fuck me. Maybe we get takeout or go to a game but only if it means I can fuck you in the bathroom of said game.”

You laugh as you shake your head,

“Johnny you don’t like fucking more than one girl.”

“Other girls normally bore me.”

“But I don’t?”

“No, you don’t. Never have. So what do you say?,” his voice is a mumble against your skin, his hands moving lower to push your legs wider, “you in?”

You close your eyes, think about all the ways this would go south and blow up in your face. Then you look down at Johnny, who’s fixated on your breast, eyes closed as his mouth makes your breast your prisoner, yanking another moan out of you as your core clenches deeper, your body shaking with pleasure.

“Deal.”

He snaps his eyes open as he pulls away from your skin, a large gob of spit glistening on his lips as he smiles at you.

“Great. You’re not going to regret it.” he hovers over you, the head of his cock teasing at your walls as he smiles down at you.

“Shall we seal the deal?”

You roll your eyes as your hands find his hips, moving your hips up to meet his as he enters you slowly and you both groan as you whisper,

“Do me a favor and shut the fuck up and fuck me dumb so I have an excuse for making this dumb deal.”

He leans down, presses a kiss to your lips that catches you off guard, causes you to naturally open your mouth to greet his tongue, allowing him to dominate over you as he pulls away and snaps his hips into you.

“Consider it done.”

_____

Tag List: 

@Sad-af1121, @whichwayisthebeach-Sebass, @theplumbclub79, @4theluvofall, @tatathekissypatato, @baezen, @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog, @plumbfondler, @pegasusdragontiger, @prettybubblesintheair, @docharleythegeekqueen, @brieannakeogh, @palaiasaurus64, @emotchalla, @thejenniferincident, @shayla-markele, @jalapenobarnes  @toastmaster94, @brandybucky, @papi-chulo-seb, @jaamesbbarnes, @paulxrudd, @badassbaker, @letsalltakeanap @papi-chulo-bucky, @moonbeambucky, @jaceyfade, @samingtonwilson, @violentlybarnes, @wehaveathor, @buckfics, @frostbitebakery,  @killmongerdreams, @plussizeappreciationfics, @softlybarnes, @prettyyoungtragedy, @angryschnauzer,  @221bshrlocked,  @yslbucky @zohoffman @ssweet-empowerment @capsofwinchesters @tacohead13@harleycativy@pietrotheavenger @francezka10@papichulosebastian@obsessionsofmynerdheart @melaninmarvel@avengedqueen26 @nasteaxluvgal@winterbuttmunch@nys30@buckyslongasshair @ohlumi @wellthirsted@geminimoonbeamx @jetaimeamore @gifsbysimplysonia @harleycativy @microgirl8225@mississippifangirl @younghades

[adal-vasari]

When in New York / Titanic modern!AU

I originally planned this to be a one chapter story but I got carried away with the storyline and ended up planning a multichapter series... oops... anyway this is kinda shitty and there’s prob some mistakes I didn’t notice but I really had fun writing this so enjoy!

part 1 / part 2 (soon) 

Ms. Adele Carrem,

We’re pleased to inform you of your new employment as secretary here at Hope For Humanity. We truly value your decision to work with our team. With your passion and drive for human welfare, you can help our cause grow. We look forward to working with you. 

Attached are your flight tickets and your housing information. 

Here’s my personal phone number also, use it for questions and emergencies only: (123)-456-7890

See you soon, 

Matteo Vasari

Hope For Humanity Representative

----

Skyscrapers pass me by as the cab zooms through the snow-covered streets of New York. It’s early morning, the sun was barely rising from the horizon, but the streets of Manhattan is already full of life. My flight from London was tiresome, but seeing how beautiful New York is at Christmas time made the long trip worthwhile. Manhattan was a winter wonderland adorned in Christmas decorations; I couldn’t help but feel like a kid waiting for Santa to come around again. The cab keeps going and we pass by a giant-sized Christmas tree, beside me my sister, Hileni, gasps in wonder.

“Maybe leaving London isn’t too bad after all.” Hileni blurts out making me smile. I can hardly believe that I’ll get to spend my life here after being in London for almost all my life

“Okay miss, here you are, Roseberry Heights.” The cab driver announced as he approaches yet another high-rise building. We enter through a gate that asked for my credentials and soon enough we reach the entrance of the building. Light snow fell from the sky as Hileni and I step out of the car. I hand Hileni the money to give to the driver as I unload our suitcases from the back. Once all our belongings are out of the trunk, the cab drives away leaving Hileni and me alone.

“Alright habibti, you take the two small suitcases and I’ll get the rest,” I say as Hileni watched me drag the rest of our suitcases inside the lobby. She looks at me with concern but I reassure her with a smile. I continue to haul our belongings in the building, trying not to look like I’m struggling.

“Adal watch out!” Hileni called, a little too late for I suddenly bump into a stranger, causing our bags to topple over. I hear a soft “oop” from the stranger as the bags fall towards him.

“I- I am so sorry! Hold on let me get those out of the way. I am so terribly sorry believe me.” I said as I felt my cheeks getting hot in embarrassment. Hileni comes to my aid, also apologizing to the stranger profusely.

“That’s okay, don’t worry about it! Hold on let me help you.” The stranger replied with a smile, we make brief eye contact and I catch the sight of his beautiful hazel eyes. He carries our bags with ease, his muscles flexed in the process and I try not to stare. “Where to miss?” He asks me and I snap out of my thoughts. Hileni, standing beside the man, is trying her hardest not to burst in a fit of laughter. 

“Oh no please it’s alright, we’ll manage. We don’t want to impose.” I reply as I try to take back the bags from him, he refuses and shakes his head no.

“Please, I insist. Let me help the two of you.” 

Hileni looks at me for a response and I nod. “Well, in that case, I’ll go get the keys and the floor number from the receptionist,” I replied shyly and hurried away to the front desk. I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself before speaking again. I showed the receptionist my credentials and she then hands me two sets of keys along with information on the location of the apartment.

“Tenth and last floor, apartment 1081.” I stated as I walked back to Hileni and the man. 

“Follow me, I live on that floor too. I’m just 3 doors to the left of your apartment.” The stranger replies while holding our two heaviest luggage effortlessly. He motions for us to follow him to the elevator. Hileni and I trail behind him while rolling our luggage along. Once in the elevator, I press the button for the 10th floor. It was silent for a couple of seconds until the man speaks up.

“I forgot to introduce myself, I’m Charlie by the way, you must be Adal and…?” Charlie turns to Hileni with a smile in which she reciprocates. 

“It’s Adele actually but Adal is fine. This over here is my sister, Hileni.” I reply casually and Hileni waves at him. 

“Thank you for helping us, Charlie. I don’t know if we’d make it to our apartment without you, seeing as my sister can be quite clumsy.” Hileni says giving me a teasing smirk which made Charlie chuckle.

“Don’t mind her, she has a knack of being overly dramatic,” I say while toying with my luggage tag, trying to suppress my embarrassment. Charlie chuckles again at my comment.

“I’m sure she would’ve managed fine without me, but it doesn’t hurt to lend a hand,” Charlie answers Hileni coolly while flashing me a sweet smile. My cheeks flush at the sight of Charlie and I silently pray that the elevator goes faster. 

“Your accents are beautiful by the way, where are you guys from? If you don’t mind me asking.” Charlie starts up another conversation and looks at me for a response. I appreciate his effort to get to know Hileni and I since I’m not too good at conversations.

“We’re from London originally, but we had to move because of my new job. Your city is beautiful by the way, you’ve got to show us around sometime.” I responded genuinely and Charlie grins proudly while nodding his head in agreement.

“Of course! Just tell me when and I’d gladly take you guys around.” Charlie says, he begins to say something else but the ding of the elevator cuts him off. The door opens, revealing a young woman with curly, fiery red hair. 

“Hey Charlie! New neighbors? Go on and introduce me then!” She says excitedly while stepping aside to make room for us to exit. 

“Morning Lena! This is Adele and Hileni, they’re from London,” Charlie answers as he retrieves our luggage from inside the elevator, “Adele and Hileni, this is Lena.”

“Wow London? How exciting! Welcome to New York by the way and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance!” Lena extends a hand to me which I shake, she does the same to Hileni also. “Anyway,” she adds, “I wish I can stay longer and chat but I sadly have work. Hopefully we can chat after though if that’s okay.”

“I’d love that! Just come by after work and I’ll make some tea. Thank you for the warm welcome, Lena.” I answer kindly, smiling at Lena’s friendliness. She flashes me a smile back and waved goodbye as the elevator door closes. 

“Lena’s very nice, I imagine you two getting along well,” Charlie comments besides me and I nod. 

“I imagine that too, I’m loving all of this already. I’m glad I came here.” I respond genuinely. I had second thoughts about moving to another country since it felt too good to be true, but I think I’ve made the right choice. I felt stagnant and a little stuck in London, but moving to New York so far feels refreshing, the start of something new and great. 

Charlie pats my shoulder, smiling and then replies, “I’m glad too.” He begins to walk, Hileni and I follow beside him. 

“I like her, I hope she comes by after her work,” Hileni says approvingly as she walks beside me and I squeeze her hand.

“Me too habibti, me too.”

After a few more steps, Charlie presents us with our new apartment. I take the keys out of my pocket and unlock the door. The door opens to a cozy and minimally decorated living room followed with glass windows that allowed for a beautiful view of Central Park. Hileni and I step in together, the two of us then simultaneously drop the bags we’re carrying and our mouths fell wide open in awe. For a moment I thought about how lucky I was for not being the one to pay for this apartment since this probably costs thousands.

“Wow… I mean wow… The view from here is beautiful, in my apartment I only see a window to the next building!” Charlie says with a chuckle, also dropping our bags to the floor. I turn to him and we both share a look of excitement. 

“This is better than our old apartment in London, I can’t believe this,” Hileni says as she rushes over to the telescope situated by the huge glass windows to get a closer view of Central Park. 

Charlie and I left Hileni by the telescope and began to explore the apartment together. We pass by the small but simple kitchen and the minimalist dining room. We then ventured upstairs to the bedrooms, one for Hileni and for me. Charlie and I skipped the bathrooms upstairs and went straight to the mystery door at the end of the second-floor hallway. Charlie opens it for me and we are then greeted with a surprise: my very own rooftop garden right in the heart of Manhattan. he rooftop floor and furniture were covered in light snow, but nonetheless, it was still beautiful,

“How much are you paying for this apartment, seriously? You get your own little hideaway and everything! I’m in the tenth floor but I don’t have all this.” Charlie exclaims as he explores the rooftop, the wind blowing his scarf softly as he walks. 

“I don’t have a clue, but I’m glad it’s not me who’s paying,” I reply while looking out to the city, the wind blowing on my hair. 

“Your job’s paying for this? They must really want you here then.” Charlie says as he stands next to me, his hand holding the railing as we both observe the bustling city below us. 

“To be honest, I do think it’s a little too good to be true, but I pray it isn’t like that. I’d like to think that jobs really do take care of employees.” I say while twiddling with my fingers, hiding a tinge of anxiety.

“I’m sure your job does want to give the best to their employees, if anything you can always quit and find a new one but since they’re paying for you to be here…”

“They can easily take this all away from me.” I sigh finishing Charlie’s sentence making him wince, he places his hand on top of mine in comfort which made me feel a little better about my situation. Telling Charlie my worries seemed to be lifting a burden that I’ve been carrying since I got to New York. Ever since I’ve received the email from Mr. Vasari, I’ve pondered about my decision. Is this really a good idea? So far it is, New York has given me two new friends and a new life that’s far better than what I had in London, however, I can’t help but think that the worst is yet to come. 

“I pray it doesn’t come to that though,” Charlie says, giving me an empathetic look. The two of us stand in a comforting silence for a few seconds commiserating with each other. 

“Thank you for letting spew out my bullshit on you and being so kind to me and my sister. I’m glad I almost tripped you in the lobby.” I say jokingly while placing my other hand on top of his, Charlie then places his other hand on top of mine playfully making me chuckle at his gesture. 

“It’s what I’m here for,” Charlie states with a small giggle while drawing circles on my hand with his thumb.

After a couple of minutes of small talk on the roof, we both head back downstairs to Hileni. I offered Charlie to stay a little longer and we spend the afternoon talking and getting to know each other. Over tea, I learned that Charlie is a college senior who’s majoring in civil engineering. He tells me that he’s doing a paid internship with a private civil engineering company that allowed him to live in New York without being “penniless and homeless.” In exchange for telling me his story, I tell him a little bit of mine. I tell him about my parents’ passing and that it’s just been Hileni and me ever since. Charlie and I bond over our life stories, getting closer with each passing tale.

We didn’t even realize that we’ve spent the whole day talking until we’ve noticed that it’s dark out. Charlie, Hileni, and I are sitting in the living room when we hear the doorbell ring. Hileni gets up to go and see who it could be and sure enough, Lena strolls in the apartment holding a bag full of Chinese takeout food for dinner. All four of us gather at the dining room to feast on the food while chatting away once again. I learned that Lena is a model who works for various fashion companies, she tells me that her most notable work was being a model for Duff, which is a world-renowned haute couture brand. 

“Honestly, with a pretty face and a sugar daddy? You can do anything.” Lena says in her thick New Yorker accent. Charlie, Lena, and I burst into laughter leaving Hileni confused. She looks at us quizzically making us laugh even more.

“Wait what’s a sugar daddy?” Hileni asks curiously, sending the three of us into another fit of laughter. “I’m serious!” She adds but none of us had the heart to tell her what the word meant.

By the time we finished dinner, it was already 11 p.m, Lena was the first one to leave but before she does, she gives me her phone number so we can talk whenever. Charlie then leaves right after her and he too gives me his phone number. Like a proper host, I walk him outside the door and greeted him goodnight. 

“Thank you for today by the way. I had a great time getting to know you. Maybe we can do this again sometime?” He asks me, his voice gentle and unsure. 

“I mean you do live three doors down from me so just come over whenever you feel like,” I said reassuringly and Charlie beams at my response. Before parting, Charlie gives me a quick hug and walks away but he then does something completely unexpected: he turns back and gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek leaving me dazed.

“Goodnight Adal, see you tomorrow.” 

Before I could give a proper reaction, Charlie has already gone inside his home. I stand there running my hand on my cheek, feeling the warmth of Charlie’s kiss until Hileni comes outside.

“What’s taking you so long– oh I see what happened here,” Hileni says teasingly which sends me back to reality. 

“See what? You saw nothing! Wipe that smirk off your face.” I say as I push Hileni in, making her giggle. 

“Charlie and Adele sitting in the tree, K-I-S–“ Hileni jokingly taunts, making me roll my eyes.

“Go to bed!” I said cutting her off, making Hileni burst into yet another fit of laughter.

[cowboyarc]

tagged by @lostnoise​ ty!!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black pens, because in english they always asked us to use blue. and english was awful for me so no blue :p

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city, i lived in the bumheck middle of nowhere for 18 years and hated it.

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? oooh, i really want to get better at the guitar, or learn to sword fight.

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, but very very little.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I dont remember having a favorite book? but my dad had this whole story written out and he’d use that to tell me bedtime stories. it was so cool.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? Showers, i am get anxious in baths? i feel weird just sitting there.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? d-r-a-g-o-n-s. in my dads stories that i mentioned above? there was an elf that was a half-ling and could turn into a dragon.

8. paper or electronic books? I dont read much? but definitely paper.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? a ramones t-shirt my dad bought me on a business trip once. (its the rocket to russia album)

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? I friggin hate my name, i wanna change it so bad but i dont know to what.

11. who is a mentor to you? i um.. dont have one?

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I don’t know if I want to be famous, i’m very private person, but i guess if i had to maybe like a jenna/julien type of deal? like his aries kitchen series.

13. are you a restless sleeper? Very Much Yesss, I’m move so much.

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? no... i’ve never had the opportunity to be?

15. which element best represents you? I’d say fire. maybe?

16. who do you want to be closer to? probably a couple of people? i dont talk to many people? but physically? my best friend i miss her a lot.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my best friend, audi and alex and thier dogs, and my pops.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. a lot of my childhood wasn’t the greatest? so i dont remember a lot of it? but i guess the bedtime stories my dad would tell

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? fried kool-aid with powdered sugar from the south carolina state fair.

20. what are you most thankful for? um.. being able to have a place to sleep/and food?

21. do you like spicy food? ohhhhh yes, its all i grew up on. audi’s ma is chinese and she cooked the best food all the time. and gave me sooo much.

22. have you ever met someone famous? Not that i remember

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i’ve tried several times, but i stop pretty fast, because i have nothing to say or the way i write starts to piss me off.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Mechanical pencils

25. what is your star sign? Aries babbey.

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy? um... i know that maybe the crunch would be hard on some peeps teeth, but not in my house.(crunchy)

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i dont tend to think that far ahead.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i wish i did? its really hard for me to find a book that will hold my attention, and audio books are not a fun time for me because some sounds/voices i cant handle like that.

29. how do you show someone you love them? im definitely more of physical/small gestures kinda person. i’ll buy/make them little gifts, or offer cuddles (if they’re cool with touch) that type of stuff

30. do you like ice in your drinks? very little if at all, i only drink water, hot tea/coffee, and i dont like iced tea/coffee at all so.

31. what are you afraid of? um... nothing really that i can think of

32. what is your favorite scent? im very sensitive to smells, but i really like this sandlewood body wash i have.

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? soooo... i grew up in the south-south. so it was always yes ma’am, no sir, mr. smith, ms. jones. like even if someone was like call me betty or whatever it was weird to do that. but i’m slowly getting away from that since i moved away.

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d really like to help people, not sure in what capacity but yeah.

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? i did grow up about 40 mins from the ocean and would go there all the time. the water was gross and i wish the waves had been better, i’ve always wanted to surf proper. so ocean i guess.

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? probably see if someone comes back for it? prob give it toward food or something for someone

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? okay so audi’s house was prefect for star gazing and we’d do it all the time and we saw a couple over the years, and got torn up by misquitos.

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? dont want kids, but i’ll prob be a godparent eventually so just to be happy and comfortable with themselves.

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I have several but the next one I want to get the doom symbol with my pop’s birthday (probably in roman numeral cause that look best) and whenever he passes his death date. a little morbid but ive always wanted that cause its his fav game.

40. what can you hear now? animal crossing, netflix (hannibal) and my smuckers pb&j wrapper lol (strawberry ofc)

41. where do you feel the safest? uh... my room sometimes?

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? a lot i dont wanna talk about.

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? the 70s/80s to go to some concerts i guess

44. what is your most used emoji? im on pc so i have no clue, but the shaka sign 

45. describe yourself using one word. sarcastic

46. what do you regret the most? there was a girl and we didnt have a lot of time together because i was leaving and i hurt her i think, i apologized later but that doesnt make it okay so yeah i hope shes doing okay.

47. last movie you saw? I watched the new animated Scoob! movie. i loved itt, scooby doo is my shit always.

tagging: i dont know i dont wanna bother folks, if you see this and it catches your fancy :)

[mercurialsmile]

I have a question, if you don't ship Billdip anymore why are you continuing to write stuff for it? Don't get me wrong, I'm a shipper and I enjoy it a LOT but I remember reading that you didn't ship it as much or really at all anymore so when I saw you updated Icarus I was like "whAt"? Have your feelings changed about writing Billdip content? I think your writing is amazing, I was just curious!

Aaa thank you for the kind words, anon!! 

Well... no my feelings have not changed tbh! But I’ll try and explain how my brain works when it comes to BillDip.

It’s true I don’t ship it really anymore. I’ve written a lot for the ship myself and have read a lot of BillDip and I am just kinda tired of the dynamic, if that makes sense. For me at least, everything has been done with it (that doesn’t mean other people can’t still like it or be interested or make good content for it, I’m just saying this is the way I feel)!

Currently, I am only working on 3 ff projects: Icarus, the Once Upon a Time Trilogy, and the BAP AU. 

Thing is, BAP AU isn’t BillDip. It’s TadBillDip. Which you might go “But that still has BillDip in it, Lanx” thing is, the dynamic between Tad, Bill, and Dipper is completely different from the dynamic Bill and Dipper have alone (or how I write them alone). And yeah, I have and will write pieces from the BAP AU that will only have Bill and Dipper in the scene and such, but that doesn’t make it BillDip just because Tad might not be in that exact scene. Furthermore, Bill and Tad will get (and already have had!) their own scenes together, and same with Tad and Dipper. 

Throwing Tad into the mix with an OT3 completely changes the dynamic and is a different ship altogether. And I mean, if TadBillDip WAS just BillDip with an extra person, I’m pretty sure I’d get more readers for my BAP series ;) (only partially joking here haha)! 

Okay, so now we decided BAP AU isn’t even BillDip. What about Icarus and the Once Upon a Time Trilogy? 

Let’s start with Icarus.

It’s completely one-sided. The BillDip is 100% one-sided and I think most people can figure out which way it’s one-sided. Plus, Icarus isn’t. It’s not like LiaFt. Obviously. There is very little actual “BillDip” scenes in it, if you will. Most “BillDip” scenes are mainly Bill messing with Dipper in a kinda cryptic way or obsessing over him while Dipper quietly seethes and hates them or calls them gross. 

Also, for me, what’s fun with writing Icarus is writing Icarus!Bill. Not really the BillDip scenes. And on top of that, it’s almost done now. Might as well finish it. 

Now, lastly, the Once Upon a Time Trilogy. 

This one is where things get messy and slow. LiaFt is already written and completed and done. Thing is, there is a MASSIVE tone-shift and change between LiaFt and LiaL. LiaL has Dipper hating Bill at first, feeling betrayed and hurt. LiaL is also way more focused on the lore of the world, the lore of the gods, and has a lot more going on besides “BillDip.” 

I made a rambling vent-y post a long while ago how I am having issues writing the ouatt due to the fact that I can’t just cut out the “BillDip” parts in LiaL and its future sequel as that won’t be fair to readers, and it also wouldn’t make much sense to do so. LiaFt is very obviously a BillDip fic. No one who doesn’t ship or at least want to ship BillDip will read it and then be okay with the rest of the series not having BillDip. 

So... cutting BillDip out is impossible. But now, with LiaL, writing those crucial scenes is even more important. Unfortunately, due to my new outline draft, I can’t really reuse scenes I’ve already written. I can... use them as inspiration and a guideline, but even then it’s... difficult which is why it’s slow going. Also I just haven’t had the time nor energy to sit down and figure things out. 

So yeah. BAP AU is fine, Icarus is fine, Ouatt is just.... everywhere at the moment.

OKAY SO now that all that is explained, why do I still write BillDip?

Because I hate disappointing people and I like finishing things. I’ve already discontinued another ff series I had that I had started when I was 16 and I don’t want a repeat of that. I like making people happy with my writing, I like the positive attention I get from it (c’mon guys all us ff authors like the positive attention, you don’t have to be humble), it helps me grow as a writer a LOT as ff is just... ff. It’s not like sending off a bad manuscript. Not nearly as stressful. Aaaand again. I like finishing things. There is still a story I want to tell in Icarus, in the ouatt. A story I really like and want to see to fruition. The issue isn’t really the main plot or even just writing Bill or Dipper or anything like that. The issue is the BillDip of that series, and I am at a point where I can’t just cut it out ‘cause I don’t like it anymore.

And if I did, it wouldn’t turn out good and prob feel like a bad retcon tbh. 

So. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and the easiest pathway is just “shoulder the fact I don’t really ship this thing anymore and keep writing anyways, maybe some magic will come back after I write enough”

I mean. That probably won’t happen. I did try reading some all-time favorite BillDip fics of mine, but I just couldn’t get back into it. I don’t really have time to rewatch the entire show again either, so that’s another thing. 

Plus it was ff that made me ship the ship in the first place, not actually the show. So yeah. 

Uh. This was a ramble but I hope I answered your question, anon!

[st0ned-butch-blues]

resolution updates

It’s important to check-in w myself so I don’t fall through with these 2018 resolutions...

1. Be healthier physically and mentally

idk how but I fucked up my sleeping schedule even more and am basically nocturnal now??

doing rlly well with avoiding the vending machine

the whole self-love thing is def not getting any better but tbh I didn’t expect it to (it’s gotten a lot worse recently)

yo girl won’t be having sex any time soon and is too drained w life to try masturbating, rlly gonna have to push this one off until I’m in a better place mentally (and prob when I’m out of Colby)

still not journaling ahhh (but I rlly am trying to make more personal posts on this blog) I get too frustrated w writing because it’s not fast enough to catch up to my brain, so I may have to start journaling digitally or some shit

found a friend that volunteers at the humane society, will hopefully start volunteering w her next semester. maybe ask ana and jean to join me

I cleaned my room for the first time this year and that was super nice and cleansing and ahhh

decided to add a resolution to drink more water cause I usually drink water once a day and... that’s not good. Downloaded the Plant Nanny app to keep me on track

try to stop drinking alcohol as ur prime social activity -> maybe try weed? don’t wanna fuck up my health lmao

2. Improve your social life

am planning a lot more social programming for clubs, which I think is a good club goal to have. we need to build community first before trying to accomplish anything else.

social anxiety has gotten worse and I need to learn how to socialize but also take it easy and stay in during rlly bad mental health days instead of forcing myself to go out and feeling even shittier

have continued to not make friends and be a passive friend to the friends I do have. fuck.

I consider myself a rlly good friend to turn to when you have problems (and my friends have been having A LOT lately), but you can't base an entire relationship off of negativity... Plan to do things w ur friends that are FUN and not just talking about problems/complaining

I'm continuing not to fuck w cishet boys as much as possible. But tbh it can be rlly hard when everyone around you still gives a fuck about them and ur rlly just trying to quit ur unhealthy thoughts associated with them

still pining after a relationship tbh. or maybe just the validation of being unconditionally loved by someone or maybe I just miss cuddling. but it’s p much confirmed that ill never get in a relationship during my time here. or get any queer sexual experiences. or sexual experiences in general. so focus on just surrounding urself w a queer community because that is the epitome of fun and love and acceptance and ahhhhh

3. Get your academic shit together. Plan for your future career/life.

most of my resolutions for this section will have to wait till next semester, so we’ll see...

have learned that taking a shower is rlly good for combating unproductivity? It’s a very relaxing, cleansing thing for me and I should start doing it earlier before I want to get shit done rather than right before I go to sleep

got into WOCA board, will start doing this food/gardening youth education volunteering thing, got a social media-y internship (still debating if I want to drop Oak Committee and whether or not to apply for CA/COOT leader)

jan plan hasn’t been strenuous academically at all. but im worried moving into second semester how I’ll handle balancing all the shit in my life on top of my unstable mental health

still have only read one book this year. get on that.

have def been watching more content, but usually in an unhealthy binge-watching, sleep depriving way. at least I have netflix now eyyy

some media I’ve rlly enjoyed recently are: Wasted! (one of the best food documentaries I’ve ever seen. rlly well done), Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (amazing stand-up comedy by a first-gen indian-american), RuPaul’s Drag Race (has been slowly helping me make queer friends on top of just being some quality entertainment), The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo (just finished binge-watching this web-series and wow this is the queer life I wish I was living)

cleaning up my personal blog is a sloooow ass process but have worked on it a liiittle

have been having problems w food again, this is a good reminder to lay off the red meat. ill rlly be able to accomplish my food resolutions when I'm in co-op next year. esp when I can go to farmer's markets and sustainably source seafood ahhh

should rlly start budgeting, logging my purchases, calculating reimbursements (for clubs and parents), and get a consistent job

haven’t done too much work w korean shit. BUT I stayed up until 8 AM listening to all of Jonghyun’s solo albums and holy shit he has some jams but like also some rlly fucking beautiful songs and his voice is so relaxing and wow I’m so fucking sad he’s gone. Even though I got into him rlly late, he was coincidently the one korean artist that kept showing up in my life randomly on social media and through friends. idk I just realized how calming korean music is for me, like I put Jonghyun’s "Before Our Spring" on repeat when I had my mental breakdown last night

applied to a summer program!!!!!! Rlly rlly rlly hope I get this one (partially so I can see heejin again tbh)

[crow-caller]

www

Found some end of the year 2020 asks so I thought I’d do em all.

Turns out 2019 sucked for me, going by these? A lot of depression.

what did you learn about yourself this year?

I’m worse at coping than I thought? I’ve had a real rough year without any huge highs, which sucks ass. It’s not fun that my takeaway is probably that I need to quit drinking 100%, I have very poor control, and I’m way more depressed than I thought. And I have more mental illness than I thought. Ew.

best moment of the year?

It was very good to graduate uni and just be done with it. Take time and not do much. I was working mind you, but I love my job. It’s good. It’s the perfect job. Not having uni has put me at ease in a lot of ways I’m thankful for- it’s removed stress. Bristolcon and being on a panel was good too.

worst moment of the year?

Well, around march I did allegedly try to die, so that was a real low.

what was the biggest change you experienced this year?

Moved to a new flat, and have a new flatmate. Last two years I’ve been with a flatmate who keeps to themself and we didn’t get along. Two guys who just kept their space. My now flatmate is my friend. Though she’s excellent and looks after me, it’s very different to have less alone time and way more time being social. And having someone always around. It’s given to a lot of great times, like watching doctor who with her, but it also brings its own problems too (we’re both mentally ill and she’s autistic, I probably am, so problems just do happen)

best song of the year?

So hard to tell, really. It might be Katy Perry’s Chained to the Rhythm, because that is a very dystopic song which haunted me during breakdowns, and is catchy when I am not in a breakdown. Similarly maybe Nobody by Mitski (see prior) but that sound just makes me too sad sometimes.

best album of the year?

Everything, the video game, has such a great soundtrack. So probably that. Been using it while writing.

what’s one thing that happened this year that you want to change?

I dunno. There’s not been much for big events, just frustration at my declining physical/mental health causing issues. Or bigger problems that were not ‘this year’. Like I’ve really realized I’m sex repulsed asexual, and I hate that, because I feel so weird and abnormal and like I could never have a normal relationship.

best book/book series of the year?

I read The Fandom/The Fandom Rising this year and did not anticipate how much I’d like them. So those?

best television series?

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance. Best TV I’ve seen in ages. Enhanced by having friends over and watching together.

how was your love life this year?

My GF will read this, so it’s weird to comment. Same with my friends reading this- it’s tumblr, not a diary. I know I talked about being suicidal but that feels less personal! It’s tricky and confusing, relationships. My relationship is stable and we get on well, on the same vibes and levels, getting gifts and getting each other, but also there’s been mystery too, since we’re both neuro-a-typicals with various problems who have never been in a relationship before. So it’s like, what exactly is one? Can this be one due to (me, like me personally, I am the issue)? Etc. But it’s been good. I think we’re just bad at this.

what made you cry the most this year?

I haven’t been crying a lot I think. Just worry. It’s been worry and fear.

biggest regret of the year?

Don’t think I can point to any.

best movie of the year?

I’ve been watching a LOT less movies this year due to moving, and it sucks. Can’t super recall any I’ve seen this year besides frozen 2 and cats. Googling shows some others. Out of them, detective pikachu.

favourite place you travelled this year?

Nowhere new. The cat cafe in bristol? Glastonbury high street?

did you make any new friends?

No

did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

I don’t like sex at all ever or really touch and I’m probs not cis either. It’s annoying.

what are some hobbies that you developed?

I’ve tried streaming viddy games, and I want to do podcasting. I so do.

what surprised you the most this year?

How fast time moves. How quick it goes and how little I do. How uncertain and afraid I am of everything. How much I want a cat and do not want breasts.

do you look different from the beginning of the year?

I dyed my hair blonde and then grey but the grey just looks black so you can’t tell it’s been dyed.

how did this year treat you in general?

Bad

what message would you give yourself at the beginning of the year?

Buddy, it’s going to get a lot worse and then pick up a bit 

has your fashion style changed this year?

I gained weight which I hate so I can’t wear any of my old fav clothes. Ew!

one of the best meals you’ve had this year?

I’ve learned to order american mac n cheese online, and the power of lactose pills, so I’ve had that like 40 times and it’s good.

who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

Probably my flatmate, for ultimately shaking up my life the most.

what’s one thing that you hope will continue next year?

My job??

[synonym-for-life]

RULES

Always post the rules

Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

Write 11 questions of your own

Tag 11 people (or however many you want)

I am going to go Harry Potter the Rule Breaker on this and not tag anyone and also not write questions because I feel like everyone already did it/or was tagged and also because I’m at work

My answers are under the cut. Beware this is a looooong post (3 x 11 answers) and, as usual, I ramble a lot.

Tagged by the ever wonderful @dictacontrion

If you could have one billion dollars or the not (or only incidentally) profitable superpower of your choosing, which would you choose and why?  Ugh, this is a tough question. Just imagine all the good that you can do with a billion dollars! But I really think I would go with superpowers because even if they’d be useless it would feel a bit like magic, or like having a bit of magic in you and what Harry Potter fan does not wish to be magical at least a tiny bit?

What article of clothing makes you feel most awesome? First of all, what makes me feel the most awesome is a cool pair of shoes. But, that wasn’t the question so I gotta go with a newly acquired long black high slit skirt that I first wore yesterday and I felt bangin hot.

How did you get into your most recent fandom? Tbh my only fandom is the HP fandom, more accurately the drarry fandom and that’s it? Is that sad? Or does it just make me loyal? It honestly happened by mistake. I was looking through a HP forum in my native language and discovered a link to a page that had hp fics. I stumbled upon some drarry ones, was absolutely appalled by how people could put these two together because omg they hate each other, but then I continued reading them and it made more and more sense with every word I read and I've been a shipper ever since (it’s probs been more than a decade now).

What’s your least favorite/most hated book, and why?  The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. I don’t like whiny people and Werther is the whiniest of them all. Just the extreme self-pity pervading those pages made me want to throw the book out of the window. Admittedly, I haven’t read it since teenage years, so I feel like I should give it another try to see if I’ll understand it differently. But let me just describe the scene that was probably a deal breaker: Lotte, the girl Werther has a crush on, or rather a strange obsession fueled by his idealistic image of her, is giving hungry children bread - so you see you have this girl doing what she wants, maybe considers her duty, being kind - and this useless dude is just staring at her instead of helping her and then proceeds to fall to his knees and cry into her lap sighing something like: ‘Lotte, oh Lotte, so kind, so precious, bla bla bla’ being all creepy and obsessed and useless and self-pitying at once. (pls don’t kill me if that’s not exactly how this scene goes, that’s how I remember it and I’m pretty sure it goes along these lines. It’s been years since I read it. I don’t like to hate on things but god I hated this book when I was forced to read it in school.)

Describe a fanwork you’d love to read/see/watch, but don’t want to create yourself, please? I would love a HP series that would go exactly like the books, scene by scene, exactly how it’s written. Otherwise, I would love to read some new Drarry fics featuring old magic and magical properties. Oh, and perhaps more Aurors on a mission abroad fics featuring magic particular to those areas they are in. Just more magical diversity, I guess?

What would be the lineup of your ideal music festival? I will pass this one because I don’t really go to festivals :/

You’re given the power to unilaterally create one law or policy in one country - what is it? Tax the arms and weapons industry until they would go bankrupt, which would cause the world to stop finding excuses to go to war just to fuel that corrupt industry. Also tax rich people so hard like you couldn’t believe.

If you had to commit to living in one place for the rest of your life, what would it be? I am one of the lucky bastards that can say: at home, where I was born. I could live there forever.<3

Thinking about your life a year from now, what’s one thing that you hope will be different? That I will be able to write more and faster and have more free time in general (I have been feeling as if I’m forcibly squeezing time for my family and friends into my tight schedule and I don’t like that. Work is not the most important thing there is to me, but it felt like I was focusing only on that this year :/ )

What’s one thing that you hope will be the same? I feel like my and my family’s health is pretty neat now so yeah...that.

What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Ok, something that made me laugh really hard for days was a thing that happened at work a few weeks ago. This wonderfully dressed man in his 30s comes in. Pants, suit, shirt, classy, elegant, handsome businessman. I work in retail (among other things), most precisely in a shoe shop. It was crowded when he started trying on shoes, so I was running around bringing shoes out to people. Then the crowd leaves. We are left alone and I notice his (most probably very expensive) pants have ripped down the seam of his behind. Like all the way. Like completely ripped to the point that I can now see his black boxers and the top of his thighs. I don’t know what to do. What if he knows? What if he’s just some weirdo in reality and doesn’t care? What if he already came in like that? Tears well up in my eyes, I start smirking, trying to contain my laughter while debating how to tell him. I have to turn away a couple of times. Then he notices. He is sitting down looking at his crotch and just whispers ‘’I ripped my pants.’’ And I can’t take it anymore. I start laughing. Hard. So here’s this dude half embarrassed, half amused and very very shocked and I’m laughing at him. And I can’t stop. You know the hysterical kind of laughter that bubbles out from you when you’re nervous, that’s how I was wheezing at him. Luckily, he too saw the humour in the situation and started laughing along and we ended up kind of bonding over this special moment. He was very chill about it too. He bought the shoes and left still chuckling while clutching a big shopping bag to his butt.

Tagged by the ever fantastic @devinesis

1. What’s something in this world that you just don’t understand and wish you could? I answered this once already (in an ask) and I said: people who don’t like animals. I really don’t get it. Besides that though, I don’t know how it can happen that you’ve been writing and saying a certain word in a certain way for your entire life, but then suddenly in your 20s or even later you figure out you’ve been writing/saying it wrong all this time and nobody ever corrected you??? Like wha?

2. What show or movie does everyone love and tell you to watch but you just hate no matter how many times you try? The Lord of the Rings *runs to hide under the bed* I just...I just always fall asleep *she whispers with a tremor in her voice*

3. The first book you ever really loved? (If it’s HP, cool, but you have to say something else, too. LOL) The first, first book? A tale about a cat that lives in a cat village that has cat waiters, cat butchers and cat criminals. I’m sure it doesn’t come as a surprise that I love cats? (written for children around 5y.o. btw)

4. If you were going to be in a relationship (platonic or sexual) for the rest of your life with a character from the Harry Potter universe, who would you choose? Shit. How dare you do this to me? Wth? WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? a very good one but strangely distressing one Platonic: I want to be Dumbledore’s friend, I think we’d get along. Plus that would be the most interesting friendship ever. I also want to be friends with the twins and hang out with them all the time. That would be so much fun. Sexual: uhh no one? Idk. If I had to choose someone I think I’d be sexually compatible with, I’d probably choose Ginny or, strangely enough, I feel like me and Remus would match quite well hah

5. Your most hated book you were ever assigned to read in school? The Sorrows o Young Werther. Refer to the answer number 4 above for a true rant. Sorry, all Goethe lovers. I also really didn’t like Catcher in the Rye even though most people really dig it. I think it was, again, the whining aspect that bothered me the most.

6. If you had a personal uniform like a cartoon character, what would it be?I really don’t know?? I’m pretty sure I’d have a crop top though. I also imagine lots of leather straps and strings everywhere for some reason.

7. Where is your “happy place”? It tends to change, but anywhere in nature does it. But my happy places are mostly where my most loved people are at that moment so wherever my family or friends are and I’m with them it’s a happy place.

8. Favorite form of exercise? Lifting weights. Most specifically bench press. I really like deadlifts and biceps curls too though ... i already told you i've got too much ‘bro’ influence in my life

9. If you had a crush when you were, like, 12–14—looking back, is it embarrassing, or do you nod at your younger self in approval? It is embarrassing but not because who they were/what they looked like, but because how I acted towards them. I was really dumb.

10. What, for you, are the most hated and most enjoyable tasks of adulthood? I don’t particularly like to work, you see, but I do love being independent, so that’s kind of necessary. xD But the most hated task has got to be making my own phone calls. Yikes. I like to drive though? Does that count as a task?

11. What small-talk question do you most hate answering from strangers at a party? If it’s like a dancing party /club thing, I hate all of them because I came to dance and I cannot dance if I have to talk :D If it’s a mingling sort of thingy it depends on the intent. If someone is just trying to get into my pants or just, in general, doesn’t really care about anything I tell them, then even the most original questions won't work. If I feel like the person cares and the intent is good, then I don’t mind small talk!

Tagged by the ever amazing @serpensthesia

1. Not a question but post a picture of whatever you want.

(yes I took this photo)

Bonus: my cat in a pot.

2. What is something not enough people understand and you want to explain to me right now? Not many people understand that you can be a very outgoing, loud, happy, talkative, bubbly person, but still need enormous amounts of time for yourself. I don’t know whether that means you’re actually an introvert and I don’t care, but I need people to understand that I like being alone.

3. What is your favorite thing that you have ever studied (doesn’t have to be in school, or even studied formally)? Just reading up on quantum mechanics (with my limited knowledge of physics) has been mindblowing. and @serpensthesia I know I owe you an explanation about that already god i’m horrible i WILL explain but it will be long and probs essay-length :’D

4. You are suddenly allowed to keep one real, wild animal as a pet and it’s not going to kill you or hurt you, it’s just going to be sweet and awesome… what animal do you choose? I want a blast-ended skrewt a black panther. Second in line is a niffler sloth. Third in line is a dragon  giraffe.

5. Least favorite activity that you have grown to begrudgingly accept as necessary (and maybe even a little fun)? Writing to do lists/schedule in my planner. I have to mentally drag myself across an endless mental hallway to even begin, but I get such satisfaction out of it in the end. I like to pretend I have my life together.

6. Give past-you a cryptic message - no context, just the message: I don’t even know how to do cryptic. I would just say to myself: Rebel against yourself as much as you rebel against others, you are the final revolution in which you must not fail.

7. Who is your problematic fave and why do you love them so much? I don’t believe in problematic faves tbh...

8. You are trapped on a desert island. There is no escape. No one is coming to save you. You are going to die. What 3 things do you bring with you so that you can die happy? Hmm, a notebook, a pen, and a photo album of my most loved people, so that I will look at them when I’m dying and remember how much I love them and how happy I am that I have lived among them.

9. What 3 dumb as hell things make you stupidly, infectiously happy? I...fine...Jesus memes, ok. They are funny as hell.& Wearing a tiara.& Lying on the floor/ground and rolling around/pretending I’m a starfish. Works on asphalt too, alas hair gets dirtier like that. Only advisable when you can be ugly in peace for the whole day. i just realized i sound absolutely fucking mental jfc i SWEAR i am public friendly

10. What do you create? Awkward silences.

I don’t really, I just think I’m funny. I occasionally try to wring words out from my fingertips by tapping repeatedly on the keyboard and call it writing. I haven’t yet mastered it, but it’s been fun!

11. You’ve gone down the YouTube k-hole and have been binge watching nonsense for the past 2 hours. Where did you start? The last time this happened, I watched this video: Slav King, that my cousin sent me. It’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time, though it is a bit culture specific. But then...oh god, then I just continued clicking on these weird videos until I was in the part of the youtube where half the comments were in different Slavic languages, but you know that you still manage to understand a bit if you speak at least one of them, and like these videos were full of strange horrible-for-your ears music and awkward white people trying to dance while being all cool. Not to mention everyone kept calling each other tovarishch and comrade in the comments and I kept reading and reading the comments barely understanding anything until I realised in a daze what I’ve been doing for the last 2 hours and I just closed my laptop and stared at the wall for about 10 minutes before I regained any sense of self.

Now, if anyone actually read all of this, props to you. Also, tell me if you agree/disagree with me on any of these things. I love a good discussion!

[axou-den-mporw]

get to know me tag

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88 QUESTIONS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE (mini rant: why do these thing always request 20 people to tag. i dont even know ten people pls let me breathe) **I keep the rant cause seriously I don't even know 20 people irl not in the tumblr world**

tagged by @in-theory (and im really sorry for being so late, like a month has passed but well okay im doing this lol)

tagging : @vxplln @anastassiamlt @teh-panda @itsthewonderfulworldofsu @inkyblacksky

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: water probably it's summer lol

2. PHONE CALL: my dad

3. TEXT MESSAGE: κλαιω ήθελα να πω (greek)

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: My Neighbor Totoro ending song

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: I don't even remember. I think last weekend watching the Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: not even once

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nah

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: everything here is going to be a no, ( I keep this answer by @in-theory cause seriously gurl I feel the same)

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: idk what you mean by that. So im gonna answer yeah

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: hell yeah what I was doing the whole winter? 

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im not sure abt getting drunk but I haven't thrown up from alcohol. Alcohol is my friend

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. That's tough

13. seriously though

14. I can't even tell them apart at times, but I like the colors of sunset

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: AHA AND IM HAPPY ABT THAT

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: nah prob. I haven't fallen in, how can I fall out?

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: seriously I don't remember. I remember this time. I couldn't breathe from laughing too hard. I had just discovered a new laugh which was like HIHIHIHIIHIIIHIHHIHHIHHHHIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIIHI and I didn't even remember what I was laughing at cause everyone (included me) just laughed with my new laugh lol. But idk if it was this year. Maybe some other time that i don’t remember now cause well i have the memory of a fish

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: what

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: maybe???idk

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: im still through that tbh

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: what is even a fb list?

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: welllllllllll it depends on what you mean know irl

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I wanna get a doggo but I only had fishes till now and they all dead now so yeah prob gonna delay getting the doggo till I get a house that would be comfy for him

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: tbh I didn't really like that as a kid. And I would like to change it if I become an artist of any form of art

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: my sis got me presents and we went to a nice café-bar, and some other time we got some pizzas with ma friends

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: eight o’ clock 

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching the Russian boy who looked like a real-life anime dancing folklore and I tell you he was fineee

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: life

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: before 3 hrs or something

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: my character. And my hobbies. Like sometimes I really wish I had been in some athletic team or dance team, be a little more sociable a lil stronger. ANyway

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Put My Hands On You by Dean ft. Anderson Paak (please do babe, i want that too)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Nah

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people, me included

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): everywhere but I think the ones that come more to my mind is a huge one that is above of my left ear and thankful my hair cover it, then one in my right wrist and one left of my nose

35. MARK(S): stretch marks everywhere

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: ha I prob changed them every week, but I think that actress was the final one cause I found out as a kid that in this way I could be everything I wanted and change profession with every different movie/series I got myself into

37. HAIR COLOR: brown 

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: now short

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: *laughs* what’s a crush **(sorry babe gonna keep that as well cause yeah same)**

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m confident at my dreams and goals

41. PIERCINGS: nah 

42. BLOODTYPE: A I think 

43. NICKNAME(S): squidie, agg, ang, bro

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: IM SINGLE af 

45. ZODIAC: cancer but who cares

46. PRONOUNS: she/her

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Friends (American), It’s okay that’s love (Korean) (UGGHHHH THIS IS HARD OMG REPLY 1988 TOO OKAY?) and Είσαι το ταίρι μου (Greek)

48. TATTOOS: nah, how could i decide where to put it and what to write/draw, nahhh

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: not yet

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: no

52. SPORT: does eating count?

53. VACATION: Nisiros-10 and Skopelos D-24

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: got me some converse and a pair of vans but converse is next level I tell ya 

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: haven’t eaten since i woke up probably won’t eat until noon

56. DRINKING: more water lol

57. I’M ABOUT TO: Watch a movie prob or go for a walk

58. WAITING FOR: Awesome summer to start even on August

59. WANT: to travel back in time and become friends with Bogey and Bacall 

60. GET MARRIED: who knows what life has for me? im too young to know

61. CAREER: nobody knows, maybe i will become a millionaire,maybe i will become another jobless person, maybe i will sell tomatoes and pancakes and cookies in flea market

 62. HUGS OR KISSES: Both actually

63. LIPS OR EYES: heart, sorry i never (after middle school, cause we don’t speak of the time before shhhh) really cared abt specific characteristics on people. I mean, he could have the most beautiful eyes/lips i have set my eyes on and i could be not attracted by him. Idk im weird

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller cause well im 1,64 m, and idk i just need his height to tell me HUG ME IM A HUGSIE PERSON (I know im weird, that’s why i have few friends)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: now older. but idk generally i don’t think i would have a problem with younger people

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: i’m a hoe for arms oh dear God mercy

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: loud people because i am quiet and reserved so yeah this is abt what person i am or which kind of people i like? well it doesn’t matter cause well idk abt sensitive, but im not and neither im attracted to loud people

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: im 10000% hesitant and i would like a troublemaker to have a lil fun sometime

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: no

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: like 8737918731432867 times

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: well. . . maybe?im not sure abt that

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: no

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: does elementary school count?

77. BEEN ARRESTED: no

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: i don’t think i have male friends (like real friends, to talk at least once a month and really care abt each other) and i never actually had

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: im a magic fairy, who doesn’t believe in them? my specialty is to make everyone sad lol

81. MIRACLES: yes

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: okay im still not over that ice cream, why do you keep reminding me of that *sobs* it was my first love *tears fall* when we set our eyes on each other *mess* *somebody sto0p me please*

83. SANTA CLAUS: well i believe in Santa Claus in the way i believe in all other Santas

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: is this something to believe in?

85. ANGELS: yes

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): anastassia, maryam, i think that’s it

OTHER

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Mamma Mia (2008) (judge all you want but it never fails on making me happy), Philadelphia Story (1940) (come on this movie is just amazing i love it). Im not sure abt favorite, but i really liked It’s a Wonderful Life (1946), cause it made me rethink my priorities in life and it certainly demands a re-watch. In abt a month i think many many more will be added to this list hopefully

OMG I DID IT YEY

[mytaggss]

9.9.16 (first)

4.15.17 (second)

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers? me and amanda at cowabunga bay- me and katie out the car window

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? no- no

3) What was your last text message? "yes it is"- yea but i still need to shower lol

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? I have a career, leaving near a beach, or near a very nature area, and i am married and have a family.- i see the same thing or something like it

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? i would be in hawaii or on a cruise.- same lol or with a friend

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? my zombie costume sophmore year- same

7) What was your favorite 90s show? idk...- i don’t remember

8) Who was your last kiss? no one- Bruno

9) Have you ever been stood up? no- kind of yeah lol, but he said he fell asleep which to be honest that was probably fucking true, because he slept all the time, but he was too much of a pussy to go on a date with me lol

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? cookie dough

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? yes I live here

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? my nikes- either those or my adidas, or my nude heels or my tan flip flops

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? no, never had one- never really had one so

14) What is your favorite fruit? watermelon- same

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? no- no

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? no, long term- probably long term in like real real life, i just like people i get good vibes off of tbh so whatever happens

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? no- i have smoked weed before and i’d smoke it again if offered, but im not an avid weed smoker or anything

18) What do you do to get over your anger? i calm myself down- same or i write it down

19) Do you believe in God? idk anymore, sometimes- eh idk

20) Does the person you're in love with know it? no, well I'm not really in love with them lol. i just like them.- i’m not in love with anyone

21) Favorite position? of what?- missionary for now, its the best feeling, especially when i wrap my legs and arms around him

22) What's your horoscope sign? scorpio

23) Your fears? heights, bugs

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? three dogs- same

25) What never fails to turn you on? well i've never had a person turn me on lol. but i feel like making out would probably turn me on I'm guessing?- making out or feeling me up, or just talking kind of dirty lol (but not in a cringy way)

26) Your idea of a perfect first date? something where we are moving and doing something fun.- same

27) What is something most people don't know about you? i had adhd- something i don’t tell anyone, i don’t even write it out

28) What makes you feel the happiest? when I'm with friends or laughing or dancing

29) What store do you shop at most often? maybe tillys? american eagle? it depends... i shop at a lot of stores.- pac sun, lush, forever 21, victorias secret, urban outfitters

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? I would suck a dick. I don't know about receiving though, i mean maybe eventually... but like I would feel awkward at first for some reason, maybe a little like nervous idk.- i actually like giving, i was actually told the other day that it was like really good, like he barely believes that that was actually my second time lol. and i wont let him eat me out so lolol, idk i feel like it would be so weird, idk maybe i will let it happen eventually. 

31) Do you believe in karma? eh... i mean not really, but sometimes it just works out that way. so sometimes i do.- ehhhh in some ways 

32) Are you single? yes- yes

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? flowers lol. flowers are so cute.- i love flowers

34) Are you a good swimmer? sure- yeah i think so

35) Coffee or Tea? probably tea, but i don't really drink either- tea

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? in person, but i sometimes shop online- in person

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? younger of course, why would i want to get older lol?? that means less time to live!- hmm thats a hard one now lol, probably the same age tbh

38) Cats or Dogs? dogs

39) Are you a competitive person? sometimes- same

40) Do you believe in aliens? yes (well of other intelligent life out there, not specifically like little green aliens or something like that haha)

41) Do you like dancing? yes

42) What kind of music to you listen to? all different kinds

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? spongebob

44) Where are you from? henderson/las vegas

45) Eat at home or eat out? both, but lately a lot of eating out cause I'm at college all the time- i like eating out tbh, but sometimes i just really want a familiar food at home haha

46) How much more social are you when you're drunk? i've never been drunk- oh god lol, i am actually a really social person in general, but when i get drunk i am like on level 100 with my socialness and my touchiness and my happiness its really weird. like i am so caring and like i want to talk to people and everything like that lol. 

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? lush products/food(but food doesn't really count does it?)- these bralettes from VS

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? none do?

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? like 7 to 8 sometimes 6.- same

50) What worries you most about the future? that nobody will love me or i won't find a career that i like.- same

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? probably not very long lol.- it depends lol, sometimes i’m nice and sometimes im mean to myself

52) Are you happy with yourself? eh, I'm working on it. i really really am.- same, but i have become more happy recently

53) What do you wish you didn't know? idk- nothing really

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? That striving for perfection/or to look like someone else isn't important. Being the prettiest or the thinnest isn't important. What is important is to be happy and surround yourself with people you like and do things that you like to do. Seriously, just stop worrying what other people think of you, just be you and if that isn't good enough for someone then seriously fuck them. - same tbh

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?i am not sure.- full house seems lit lol, and the nanny seems fun

56) What's your favorite Website? we heart it probably or youtube- or tumblr

57) What's the habit you're proudest of breaking? biting my nails, i went through a little phase.- i haven’t had any too bad of habits lately

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? wisconsin- probably wisconsin, i haven’t been many places lol

59) What's the best bargain you've ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? This lulu lemon crop top that was $14 dollars. keep in in mine that they are usually like $50 dollars and up.- yesss

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? orange chicken and fried rice or chowmein (usually steamed rice now)- yeahhh or NOODLESSS

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Nebraska maybe lol?- yeah lol 

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? english/environmental science/well actually dance would be first.- or astronomy or psychology that would be cool

63) Favorite kind of chips? sun chips! or snap pea crisps.- same

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? turkey ham- or just turkey

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? dictionary

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? no- no

67) What's your favorite form of exercise? dancing- or acrobatics/lyra/ pole

68) Are you afraid of heights? yes

69) What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? environmental science or brooklyn jai's classes- or my pole or lyra classes

70) What's your favorite breakfast? pancakes or waffles with my spreads. certain smoothies too.- ooh yes, pancakes are bomb

71) Do you like guacamole? sometimes- it depends

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? no, well sort of yes actually. kind of with my cousin lol.- lol same

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? maybe getting some more food and how tired my eyes are.- going to haleys house, maybe getting some food cause im hungry

74) Do you like cuddling? i never had, but i seriously think i would like it.- yes its very nice, even though it sometimes gets hot lol

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? nah- nah

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? yes

77) Favorite city you've been to? Miami or los Angeles

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? probably yes

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? lol i can't remember any off the top of my head. i try really hard to forget them so they don't come up unless i really really think. so i got nothing.- lol NOO

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? wild life preservation and environmental type things. As well as like animal sanctuaries- same

81) What's the worst injury you've ever had? pulled hamstring or straining my foot muscle or whatever.- same

82) Favorite day of the week? saturday

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? maybe a little, well sometimes. idk in my mind cause i've never had sex so.- hmm it depends what you mean, i am open to talking about it with other people and stuff like that but i don’t want to weird stuff, i am pretty normal when it comes to that

84) How do you feel about porn? not really a fan to be honest, its kind of gross. but I'm not against it, i just don't watch it.- ehh its okay, i don’t really watch it anymore because it freaks me out a little haha

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? idk- lana del rey prob

86) Who was your hottest ex? don't have one- don’t have an ex

87) Do you want/have kids? yes i want them- yes

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? no- no

89) Do you get easily distracted? yes- yes sometimes

90) Ass or titties? ass lol

91) What is your favorite word? idk- fuck

92) How do you feel about tattoos? they are ok- i like themm

93) Do you have any pets? yes

94) How tall are you? 5'6" or 5'7"

95) How old are you? 18- 19

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? nothing really lol. nobodies complimented me lately. like i don't get many compliments to be honest. usually on my clothes sometimes i do. i got one on my eyes recently even though hater how my eyes are (except the color, but thats not what they were complimenting) but yeah yikes lol. Sometimes i get compliments on my body when i wear certain things? i just don't remember compliments maybe? idk.. cause like barely any from my whole like come up. (but i know i've had some)- i get complimented on my eye color, my stomach, and my ass

97) Is there anything you're really passionate about? dance- being successful, having fun and having experiences, and my acrobatics and dance

98) Do you have trust issues? no- hmm i don’t think so

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? eh, i think there is like lust at first sight lol. but love is something that is gained lol.- nah

100) What are some words that you live by? Why? uhhh- if its meant to be, it will be