#will probably try and work all in the one first and will take a new comparison pic at the end xD
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Can I make a request for a pregnant y/n? Like jjk men and y/n get to the hospital when she goes into labor and they’re only expecting one baby but she ends up having twins? I’d love to know their reactions 😭🩷
Girl, realistically, I don’t think that’s possible with ultrasounds and stuff.
BUT, for the sake of the fic, let’s just say that you’re in a time period where ultrasounds don’t exist and physicians rely on taking your pulse or something to see if you’re pregnant or not.
cw: pregnancy, small descriptions of birth
Nanami is always a level headed and cool man. So when you popped out two kids instead of one, he had the most calm expression ever, only stroking your cheek and cooing in your ears about how well you did. Unbeknownst to you, he’s trying his best not to rip his own hair out. The house was only ready for one baby—one nursery, one nanny, one chest of clothes. Now he was going to have work just as hard to set up the same for another baby in a very short time. You don’t notice his hand trembling when the midwife tells him that there’s another kid in the equation, his main focus would probably be on making sure you’re feeling better considering that you’re in the most overwhelming phase of being a new mom. All in all, I think he’d be very scared, but he’d face this change head on and would try his best to be a good dad to both his kids (all while freaking out on the inside.)
Gojo would be elated! Double the trouble. While you’re in pain, moaning and crying while pushing out the afterbirth, Gojo is already giggling over his new children, both annoyingly being the spitting images of their father. The nurse would probably yell at him to settle down because he’s being a nuisance and send him out for being annoying, not gonna lie. But who can blame him? He’s just so excited to take both his babies home and shower them with all the love and attention in the world. There’s no doubt that you’re nervous and scared after birthing twins, you aren’t even sure how you’ll nurse them or give them attention at the same time, and seeing this, Gojo vows to make your life easier with the babies. The nannies would often complain that Gojo leaves them no work because he’s always enthusiastic to look after his little ones.
Out of all the JJK men, I think Toji would have the worst reaction. He would be freaking the fuck out and would not be shy about it. He’d be clutching on to your hand to prevent himself from fainting after the midwife yells that there’s another one coming. It’s not that he exhibits weaponized incompetency, he’s just genuinely scared of messing up twice the amount now. He’d definitely be insecure throughout the first month though, wondering if he’s even blessed enough to deserve two little angels and a lovely wife. But that doesn’t stop him from trying his best. He makes a LOT of mistakes, but he’s always ready to learn, albeit, he’s a sloppy student, but he tries and that’s what matters. The kids also say dad first so he feels like he did something right after all.
Geto is a certified twin dad. It was on his resume when he started dating you. He is not scared, and is in dad mode the second you both find that you’re carrying. So imagine his delight when there’s two babies instead of one in the cradle, both looking like they’re the most precious things on Earth. Very overprotective, especially two times as much since his babies are so beautiful, he would not let anyone in a three feet radius of his children during the first month and it took a lot of convincing to let him loose and decrease the requirement to two feet. They’re the apples of his eye and so are you. He’s surprisingly good at dividing his attention well so nobody feels excluded. He made you feel safe and secure since the beginning, constantly reassuring you that raising twins is light work. You wouldn’t know if you’d still have your sanity if he was not the father of your children.
Sukuna makes you want to smack his face while giving birth. While you’re there, having the most uncomfortable and painful time, Sukuna is laughing to himself while holding both his babies to his chest, all four arms supporting them. He begins to yell about how he has two heirs now and the midwife smacks the back of his head so he’ll quiet down. Too bad he can’t kill her because she helped deliver his tiny demons. He had already started imagining what he’d teach the kid when he found out that you were pregnant, but now that there’s two kids there’s going to be twice the fun. He imagines teaching both his kiddos how to fight, maybe if they have too much energy and are annoying him then he’ll make them spar with each other. He laughs to himself menacingly and you try not to worry about what the man is planning. He also does not clean dirty diapers and does not make you do any of that either. Will probably force you away from the kids if he has to because the poor servants can handle it. He just wants to you to remember the fun parts of parenthood.
#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#sukuna x reader#jjk sukuna#sukuna fluff#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#sukuna x you#jujutsu sukuna#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento x you#nanami fluff#nanami x you#nanami x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fluff#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto fluff#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto suguru fluff
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5 Reasons NOT to Use Multiple Point of View (and What to Do Instead)
I've been meaning to make this post for a long time. As a developmental editor, I see a LOT of manuscripts that use multiple point of view (where each scene or chapter is from the perspective of a different character), when they really should be using a classic single character POV. Over the years, I've come to the conclusion that writers see multiple POV as a solution to problems that really shouldn't be solved that way. Basically, they're using it for the wrong reasons. And when that happens, instead of making the story more awesome, multiple POV can actually weaken it.
Here are five of the most common reasons writers choose multiple POV (and why those reasons might be a problem). Don’t worry—I’ll also share what to do instead.
1. You Don’t Know What Your Story Is About
Sometimes, when writers aren’t 100% clear on their story’s main conflict, theme, or plot, they reach for multiple POV. It feels like a fix—after all, why focus on one perspective when you can try out a little of this and a little of that?
Here’s the thing: multiple POV actually requires you to be more clear about your story, not less. Readers will naturally look for a thread that ties all the perspectives together, and if that thread isn’t there, the story will feel scattered or aimless.
What to Do Instead: Take a step back. If you’re feeling unsure about what your story is really about, try some journaling or outlining. Ask yourself:
What’s the main conflict?
Who’s the central character?
Why am I telling this story?
Often, writers discover they actually have one protagonist, and a limited third or first-person perspective would work better. If you still feel like multiple POV is the right call, go for it! Just be sure to periodically revisit your outline to make sure the story hasn’t “gotten away” from you. (Multiple POV has a sneaky way of doing that.)
2. You Haven’t Developed Your Characters
Multiple POV doesn’t work unless each character is fully developed. Every POV character needs their own voice, journey, and reason for being in the story. If they can’t stand on their own, readers will notice.
What to Do Instead: Before assigning a POV, ask yourself:
Is this character compelling enough to hold the reader’s attention?
Do they add something essential to the story that no one else can?
If the answer is no, it might be better to stick with a single POV. Sometimes less is more.
3. You Can’t Decide on a POV Character
This one is common, especially in early drafts. You’re still figuring out your story, and it’s hard to choose whose perspective should take center stage.
What to Do Instead: Experiment! Write key scenes from different characters’ perspectives. Often, the strongest voice will make itself known as you go. And remember: just because you write a draft with multiple POV doesn’t mean you can’t narrow it down later.
4. You Need to Share Information Your POV Character Doesn’t Have
Ah, the classic "But how do I show this thing the protagonist doesn’t know?" dilemma. This is probably the most common reason I see writers reach for multiple POV. It’s tempting to throw in a chapter or two from another character’s perspective just to share that extra bit of information.
The problem? Those chapters often feel disconnected from the rest of the story. Every POV character needs to carry their weight, and dropping in a random narrator just for convenience can leave readers feeling unsatisfied.
What to Do Instead: There are other ways to get information across. Here are a few ideas:
Educated Guesses: Let your main character speculate. (“Iris kept tapping her pencil on the desk. Was she nervous about the meeting earlier?”)
Show, Don’t Tell: Use actions, dialogue, or other clues to reveal what another character might be thinking.
Bring in a New Element: Introduce a third character, a conflict, or even an object that reveals something important.
Overhearing or Spying: Yes, it’s a little cliché, but when used sparingly, it can work in a pinch.
5. You’re Looking for an Easy Way Out
Let’s be honest: multiple POV can feel like a catch-all solution to tough storytelling problems. Need to fix pacing? Add another POV! Can’t figure out how to make the ending work? Add another POV!
But here’s the truth: multiple POV is actually harder than other POVs. You’re not just developing one character—you’re developing several, and you have to tie all their perspectives into a cohesive whole.
What to Do Instead: Focus on nailing the story with a single POV first. Once you’re confident the core of the story is solid, you can decide if adding other perspectives will truly enhance it.
In Summary
Multiple POV is a powerful tool, but it’s not a shortcut. It requires careful planning and strong execution. If you’re considering it, ask yourself:
Does every POV character bring something unique to the story?
Am I clear on the main conflict and theme?
Could this story be told just as well (or better) with a single POV?
Sometimes, the simplest route is the best one.
Hope this helps!
/ / / / / / / / / / /
@theliteraryarchitect is a writing advice blog run by me, Bucket Siler, a writer and developmental editor. For more writing help, download my Free Resource Library for Fiction Writers, join my email list, or check out my book The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers.
#writeblr#writing advice#writers on tumblr#editing#writing tips#fiction#nanowrimo#point of view#multiple point of view#op
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Under His Watch-Part 1 (Harry Styles x reader)
Series synopsis: Y/N, an ambitious FBI intern, joins the homicide department, where she catches the eye of the brooding head detective, Harry Styles. As they tackle high-stakes cases together, Y/N uncovers a side of Harry no one else sees. Are they just boss and intern, or something more?
Word count: 9.1k
A/N:- Hello everyone, so sorry for being gone for a while, but I'm back with something new that I hope you guys will love! This is going to be a short, two part series so like it up and reblog so I can get the second part out soon!
Warnings: Talks of murder, drug dealings, killings, crime scenes, violence, usage of gun. No smut in this part, but definitely in the next;)
____________________________________________
The sun is just beginning to rise, casting a soft, golden light through the open window. The air feels fresh, but with a touch of warmth that hints at the summer heat to come. Birds chirp in the distance, their songs a gentle reminder of the new day. A light breeze stirs the curtains, carrying the scent of flowers blooming outside.
In a small, cozy bedroom, y/n stands before her mirror. She fidgets with her clothes, unsure whether the outfit is too formal or too casual for her first day at work. She has seen agents usually wear suits, but she opted for a dark blue buttoned shirt and pants, because she was just starting as an intern. Her fingers tremble slightly as she adjusts her hair, a mix of excitement and nervousness swirling inside her. Her heart races, each beat echoing the uncertainty of what’s to come.
She takes a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. The thought of the day ahead makes her stomach flutter—so many unknowns, so many new faces, and yet, the possibility of something great. She smiles at her reflection, trying to reassure herself. Beneath the jitters, there’s a spark—an energy that comes from stepping into something new, a sense of potential.
She checks the time and realizes she’s running a little late.The world outside is already awake, and so is she, ready to take on whatever her first day at work will bring.
Y/N doesn’t know when she decided to pursue a career as a detective. Maybe it was all the detective shows she used to watch with her father as a kid, or maybe it was the numerous novels she’d read. She loves the suspense, the mystery, and figuring out all the little clues. She loves the thrill of it. And now, as a result of her hard work and dedication, she has gotten into the FBI’s internship program.
The actual, Federal Bureau of Investigation.
The FBI building looms like a fortress in the heart of the city, its imposing, angular structure made of dark granite and steel. The air is thick with history and authority, as if the walls themselves hold the secrets of countless investigations. As she takes her detective steps through the sliding glass doors, the buzz of activity inside is palpable. Agents in suits walk briskly through the sleek, modern lobby, while the hum of conversation fills the space with a sense of purpose.
The hallways are lined with framed photos of notable cases and agents, a constant reminder of the legacy the building holds. The lighting is stark, the floors polished to a mirror shine, and the walls adorned with maps and classified files that hint at the work being done behind closed doors. It’s both overwhelming and exhilarating—this is where the nation’s most pressing cases unfold.
“Oh, Miss y/l/n, right on time!”, she hears before she sees none other than one of her superiors, part of the homicide department, Agent Eliza Carter. She had taken her interview. The woman held two coffees, and gave her the same kind smile she had given her that day.
“Good morning, Agent Carter!”
“Morning to you too. Sorry, I forgot to mention, you’ll be with homicide this month, probably another department for the next, and so on. Boss man’s just about to start the meeting, so come on quick!”
“Right. Do you know anything about the case?”
Her heels click behind her as she follows the agent, her eyes continuing to look around, absorbing everything around her.
“Oh yeah, this is actually an old case. A really annoying one, you’ll see. Harry will brief us anyway.”
Harry. Detective Agent Harry Styles.
Head of the homicide department, and one of the most renowned and respected figures in the field. His reputation precedes him: sharp, methodical, and almost legendary in his ability to solve cases that others can’t even begin to crack. She had heard stories about his brilliant mind, how he could piece together the smallest details that everyone else overlooked. The thought of getting to learn directly from him sends a rush of nervous energy through her veins.
“Can you get the door please?”, Eliza asks, and y/n quickly swings the glass door open for her, and then steps in herself, into the big room where there were around seven people gathered. All of them in matching suits, discussing amongst each other as they stared at the boards pinned with information about their cases.
“Everyone, this is y/n y/l/n, our new intern, she’s gonna be with us for this month!”, Eliza introduces, handing one of the coffees to a man, who also gives y/n a smile. “Hello, I’m Ethan Grant.”
The others also started introducing themselves, most of them friendly and smiling, two of them only giving her a nod, to which Eliza rolled her eyes.
“Styles running late?”, Agent Cole Matthews asks as he looks at his watch.
“I saw him getting a call, he had that face on.”, Nora says. She had short silver hair, and dark blue eyes, that looked like she would kill you if you pissed her off.
“Oh no, that can’t be good.”, Eliza shook her head.
“Face?”, y/n asks the girls who just smile at each other, Nora gives her a wink. “You’ll see.”
The door swings open with a quiet click, and Detective Harry Styles steps into the room, his presence immediately commanding attention. Tall and impeccably dressed in a dark suit that fits just right, he exudes a quiet authority. His broad shoulders and confident stride catch the eye, but it’s his sharp jawline and the faint stubble along his chin that hint at a more rugged edge beneath his polished exterior.
His eyes—piercing, yet thoughtful—scan the room as he steps forward, his gaze pausing just long enough to meet each of their eyes, an unspoken understanding passing through the group. The way he moves is purposeful, the air around him almost charged with intensity, as if every step he takes is measured, calculated.
Then his eyes meet hers, eyebrows raising up in question. “New intern, boss.”, Ethan says.
She acts quickly to introduce herself, “I’m y/n, it’s such a pleasure to-”
“We’re still talking interns?”, he rudely cuts her off, and her lips seal shut at his tone.
“Yes we’re doing rotations this year, Harry, they must have given you a form to sign.”, Eliza said, and Harry let out a sigh, not even batting a single eye in y/n’s direction, turning around to the projector.
“Whatever. Let’s get to work, we have a busy day ahead of us.”
Y/N’s heart sinks. She’d imagined this moment so differently—she thought he’d at least say something encouraging, maybe give her a quick nod of acknowledgment. But instead, there’s only the cold, impersonal air of the office, and his complete disregard.
“We’re dealing with a 30-year-old man named Charles Russo. He's been on our radar before but slipped through the cracks. He’s involved in drug trafficking, but this isn’t just about drugs—it’s about control. He’s a key figure in a network that stretches across the city, and he’s responsible for at least three recent murders tied to his operations.”
A photograph of Russo appears on the projector screen—a mugshot from a previous arrest, his face hard and defiant, his eyes cold. Styles gestures to the image.
“This is our suspect. Russo has managed to stay under the radar for months, but he’s back in the game. We have intel from one of his associates that he’s been laying low, but now we’ve gotten wind of him resurfacing. We know he’s been making contact with his former contacts in the drug trade, and his movements have been tracked to the outskirts of the city.”
He pauses, letting the gravity of the situation sink in. The team leans forward, eyes narrowing as they take in every word.
“We can’t afford to let him slip away again,” Harry continues. “He’s ruthless. He’s the kind of man who doesn’t hesitate to kill anyone who gets in his way. The last time he disappeared, it took months for us to get any leads. We’re not going to make that mistake again.”
“So what’s the plan?”, Nora asks.
Harry points to a map on the wall. The area surrounding an old industrial district near the city’s border is highlighted in red.
“We’ve got a lead. A tip from an anonymous source says Russo is meeting with one of his suppliers here,” Harry explains, tapping the map. “We’ll be setting up surveillance teams around this location. We’re going to hit him where we know he feels comfortable. His old contacts will be there, and that’s our chance to bring him in.”
He looks at his team, making sure they understand the stakes. "This won't be easy. Russo knows how to cover his tracks, and he won't hesitate to go violent if he thinks he's cornered. I want everyone to stay sharp, no mistakes. We’ll have undercover agents in place, and our best tech team will be monitoring the area for any sign of movement.”
He glances at y/n, the intern who’s been quietly taking notes in the back. His voice softens just slightly, but still firm.
“You’re going to work with Carter and Grant to run background checks on Russo’s known associates. I want every detail—every business transaction, every phone call, every scrap of information you can dig up. It could be the key to finding him faster. Can you do that?”
“Yes sir.” She nods quickly, her mind racing. This is her chance to contribute, to prove herself, and she’s not about to let it slip away.
“Once we have enough intel, we move in. Fast, clean, and without hesitation. Our goal is to catch him off guard,” Harry finishes, his gaze sweeping over his team. “I expect everyone to be in sync. This guy has evaded us long enough. Let’s make sure it ends tonight.”
The room falls into a focused silence as everyone gets to work. The plan is set, and the wheels are already in motion.
Eliza shows y/n her desk, and Ethan quickly shows her all the technology, y/n didn’t need much explaining, she was familiar with it all. She had even taken up courses in coding and hacking.
Finally, it’s time to attack. Officers bustle around, adjusting their gear, making final checks on equipment, and running through last-minute details. The hum of radios, the clinking of handcuffs, and the soft rustling of jackets fill the air as the room feels like it’s on the verge of something big. y/n stands off to the side, a little on edge as she watches Harry gather the team for their final briefing. His green eyes scan the room with that characteristic sharpness, giving quick instructions to the officers heading to different positions.
With a deep breath, she approaches Harry as he finishes talking to Detective Logan Pierce. Her pulse quickens, and she straightens her shoulders. This is it.
“Detective Styles,” she begins, trying to keep her voice steady, “I was wondering if—if I could come along. I know I’m new, but I’ve been following everything closely, and I’m ready. I can help in any way I can.”
Harry looks at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. There’s a brief silence before he responds, his voice calm but firm. “You’re not ready for this kind of field work. This operation is too high-risk, and it’s not something you should be thrown into on your first day. I need you back here, where you can handle communication, and make sure we stay on track. You’ll be a key part of this, just not in the way you expect.”
She feels a small pang of disappointment, but it’s quickly replaced by a sense of clarity. He’s right. She’s still learning the ropes. The reality of the danger in the field is something she can’t ignore. But at the same time, the disappointment doesn’t sting as much as she thought it would. She’s still going to play a crucial role.
“Understood,” she says, nodding as she pushes her feelings aside. She can feel a sense of purpose rising in her chest. “I’ll stay in touch with the agents, make sure everything runs smoothly. I’ll be ready to react if anything goes wrong.”
A flicker of approval crosses Harry’s face, though he doesn't show it fully. “Good luck!”, she can’t help but call out as Harry reaches for his own bullet proof suit and a hint of a smirk crosses his lips.
It was so brief, that she wondered if she had really seen it, or if she had imagined it.
The night is thick with tension as the operation unfolds, the air heavy with the weight of what’s at stake. Outside the industrial district, the team is in position, each agent hidden in shadows, waiting for the signal to move. Inside the precinct, y/n is stationed at her desk, headphones on, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she tracks the operation. Her eyes are focused on the live feeds from the surveillance cameras set up around the district, her mind sharp and alert.
The plan is simple—surround Russo and catch him in the act. The agents are ready, but they need to stay in constant contact. That’s where she comes in. She’s the lifeline,watching the feeds, listening to their transmissions, and keeping them updated. She had earpieces connected to Harry and Cole, who had teams on both doors of the warehouse.
Through the earpiece, the voice of Agent Logan Pierce crackles to life. “y/l/n,we’re about to move in on Russo. He’s on the move—heading toward the south side of the warehouse. We need a visual confirmation. Is he coming into our range?”
Y/N’s heart pounds in her chest, but she keeps her voice steady. “Got him. He’s moving east toward the rear entrance. You’ve got about thirty seconds before he reaches the blind spot. You need to move fast.”
“Copy that,” Pierce responds. “We’re moving in now.”
y/n watches the screen, heart racing as she tracks Russo’s every step, eyes darting between the surveillance feeds and the map on her screen. Every second feels like an eternity. She checks her watch, counts the seconds in her head. Then, suddenly, he disappeared.
“Shit.”, she says, trying to figure out where the piece of shit is headed now.
“I hope I didn’t just hear you say shit while monitoring one of the most important cases, newbie.”, she hears Agent Styles, and her cheeks redden a little bit, but she focuses on the task.
“Sorry, you need to wait, Agent Pierce, I’ve lost him.”
“You’ve lost him? What do you mean? He’s right here-”
“-No, I think..I think he’s coming around from the other door. Agent Styles?”
He answers immediately while y/n works on a way to monitor Russo again, “Yes, are you sure it’s not a connectivity problem or-.”
“I think he’s on your side.”
“Oh yeah? That mother fucker. Guys, close in.”
“Wait, y/n, are you sure? Cause this might be the last chance we have to get him and one mistake-”, Cole begins, a little unsure.
The image on the monitor shifts—Russo steps into the frame.
“Agent Styles, he’s about to break through—wait for it—now!”
The moment she speaks, Harry and the rest of the team spring into action. They converge on Russo in a synchronized move, cutting off his escape route before he can even react. There’s a flurry of movement, the sound of boots pounding on the ground, and then, within seconds, Russo is tackled to the ground, handcuffed and subdued.
A burst of static fills her earpiece, followed by Harry’s voice. “We got him. He’s down. Nice work, y/n. You nailed it.”
He called her by her name for the first time and the compliment made her heart race in a way she hadn’t expected. She blinks, her breath catching in her throat. Styles—the man she had been eager to impress—had just complimented her, and it felt like everything she’d hoped for.
“Thanks,” she replies, trying to keep her composure. “I just did what I could.”
“Well you’re the first newbie to actually not piss me off on their first day. You can go home, y/n, enough for the day. We’ll bring him in.”
Y/N exhales slowly, a rush of adrenaline flooding her veins. Her hands shake just a little as she removes her headset, a smile creeping up her face. They did it. They caught Russo, and she was the one who helped make it happen. For the first time since walking into this precinct, she feels like she truly belongs.
___________________________________________________
Over the next few days, she really fit in with the team members. She especially loved talking with the girls, Nora and Eliza. They’re laughing about the latest office drama—how Agent Matthews accidentally spilled coffee all over Harry’s favorite jacket this morning.
“I swear, it’s like he doesn’t even notice how clumsy he is,” Nora says, shaking her head with a grin. “But Styles—he’s always so cool, never says a word. You’d think he’d be fuming after that.”
y/n chuckles, feeling more at ease in their company. "I bet he was just silently judging him in that typical Styles way. You know the look I'm talking about, right?"
Eliza laughs, leaning in. “Oh, absolutely. The silent judgment is his trademark. But I’m surprised he didn’t rip Pierce a new one.”
y/n finds herself grinning at the camaraderie, feeling like she’s starting to fit into the team’s dynamic. It’s easy, the way they talk, tease, and laugh together.
She decides to stay back a little longer that day, her eyes skim through the pages—cold cases from years ago, some unsolved, others with only the vaguest of leads. She’s been digging into them to understand the bigger picture of how the team operates, trying to learn from the cases they’ve solved, and the ones they’ve left behind.
Her focus is interrupted by the soft sound of footsteps approaching. She looks up to see Harry, his coat over his arm and his briefcase in hand. He stops a few steps away, his gaze lingering on the pile of files she’s working through.
Her gaze lingered on his arm, his sleeve rolled up enough for the ink on his forearm to peek through. She could see the dark outline of a tattoo—a design she’d never noticed before—curving around his wrist and disappearing beneath the cuff of his shirt. The way the ink curled around his skin made her wonder how many more he had hidden beneath his clothes.
She couldn’t help but admire the way his sleeves clung to his muscular arms, the sharp lines of his body defining his form. His green eyes were a striking contrast to his skin, deep and captivating. They always seemed to hold a quiet storm, a vulnerability masked behind his professional exterior. The way his curls fell around his forehead, slightly unruly, added a touch of ruggedness to his otherwise polished look.
There was something magnetic about his distinct features, something that caught her attention all the time.
“You’re still here?” he asks, voice quiet, as if genuinely surprised she hasn’t already left for the day. There’s something in his tone that feels different, not judgmental, but more... curious. Maybe even a little approving.
y/n clears her throat, trying not to seem too caught up in the files. “Yeah. Just trying to catch up on some of the old cases. Figured it’s a good way to learn how you all approach things.”
Harry studies her for a moment, his expression unreadable, before setting his briefcase down and taking a few steps closer. “You’ve got the right idea. We learn a lot from the cases we didn’t solve. The ones that slip through our fingers.”
She nods, feeling the weight of the truth in his words. “I’ve noticed that. Some of these cases... they’re so close to being solved, but there’s always one missing piece.” She pauses, flipping to a specific file that’s particularly puzzling. “What do you think about this one? A string of disappearances in a small town, no evidence left behind. It’s like they just vanished.”
Harry glances down at the file she’s holding, leaning over slightly, his voice low and contemplative. “Sometimes it’s not the evidence you’re looking for, but the pattern behind it. Whoever did this knew how to cover their tracks. But if you look at the people involved—especially the families, the connections between them—you might find something that doesn’t belong.”
“Thanks for that,” she says, her voice more sincere than usual. “I wasn’t sure if I was overthinking it.”
Harry gives a small, almost imperceptible smile, his usual stoic demeanor softening just a little. “You’re thinking in the right direction. Just keep pushing yourself. That’s how we get better at this job.”
She smiles in return, feeling a little more confident in her approach. Harry glances at his watch, then looks back at her. “Well, if you’re going to keep at it, you’ll need a little company. I was planning to head out, but it’s quieter here than usual.”
y/n looks up in surprise. “You’re staying?” she asks, a hint of amusement in her voice.
“Not really,” he says, his tone dry, but there’s a flicker of something softer in his eyes. “Just thought I’d walk you out. It’s late. Wouldn’t want you to be walking to your car alone.”
Her surprise morphs into a small, grateful smile. “That’s... considerate of you. Thanks.”
He offers a slight nod, then gestures toward the door. “Come on, then. Let’s get out of here.”
The two of them walk out together, the quiet hum of the office behind them. Outside, the evening air is crisp, the sky darkening as they make their way across the parking lot.
As they approach their cars, y/n hesitates for a moment, then turns to him. “You’ve been doing this for a long time, huh? The whole... detective thing. How do you keep from getting burned out?”
Harry pauses, his hand resting on the door handle of his car. He looks at her, his expression momentarily distant, as if reflecting on the years of work behind him.
“It’s not about not getting burned out,” he says quietly, “It’s about finding what keeps you going. Whether it’s the people you work with or the cases that pull you in, you have to find something that reminds you why you do it.”
y/n nods, absorbing his words as they linger in the cool air between them.
With that, he starts his engine and pulls away, leaving y/n standing in the quiet parking lot for a moment. She watches his car disappear down the road, wondering what led him into pursuing this career.
___________________________________________
The next day, the guys are gathered around a table near the bullpen, eyes glued to a sports game playing on the office TV. The game is close, Ethan and Cole are already arguing over who’s going to win the match.
“Come on, you’re seriously betting on them?” Ethan snorts, shaking his head. “They’ve been playing like amateurs.”
y/n can’t help but overhear, the playful banter catching her attention. She’s not usually one for sports, but she’s been learning the ropes from her fellow agents. She knows enough to get by, and today, something about the challenge calls to her.
“Alright, alright, I’ll bite,” she says, walking over with a raised eyebrow. “How much are we betting here?”
Ethan looks up, surprised, then grins. “Didn’t think you’d be interested, y/n. You sure you know what you’re getting into?”
She smirks, her confidence growing. “I’m a quick learner. I’ll take your bet. I’m putting my money on the underdogs.”
Cole raises an eyebrow. “You’re brave, I’ll give you that. This’ll be fun.”
As the game continues, the guys teasingly rib her for her risky bet, but y/n holds her ground, getting increasingly into the match. When the underdogs actually pull off the win, she’s the first one to stand up, pumping her fist in victory.
“Told you,” she says, beaming with pride as the guys groan good-naturedly. “Pay up, gentlemen.”
“Yes, we’ll be there soon, got it.” They all look up at the sound of their boss, who comes into the room, shoving his phone into his pocket. “Murder scene in Oak Drive, let’s go.”, Harry tells them, and everyone gets onto their feet, getting ready to go.
y/n goes to her desk as usual, knowing she’ll be given the duty of doing the background checks.
“Who’re you riding with Styles?”, Logan asks him.
Harry straps on his gun, and looks at y/n. “Can you drive?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Come on, then, newbie, let’s go to your first murder scene.”
y/n almost squealed with joy, jumping up in excitement, but then toned it down as Harry raised his eyebrows, waiting for her answer.
“Yes sir, right away.”
The car ride is quiet, with a subtle tension between them, an unspoken understanding, a quiet connection that neither has acknowledged. y/n's fingers tighten around the steering wheel as they approach the crime scene. He can’t help but steal a glance at y/n—she’s focused, eyes sharp, her thoughts clearly already at the scene ahead.
“You aren’t gonna faint, are you?”, Harry asks, breaking the silence. “Cause one of the interns did, seeing all the blood.”
She laughed lightly. “Nope, I’m excited, and I’m good with blood.”
“Good.”, Harry lets a small smile escape, and she pulls over to the crime scene. The other agents have already reached and are doing their allotted work.
"Alright, you’ll handle the photos for now. We’ll take care of the rest."
Y/N nods, grabbing her camera from the seat beside her, trying to steady her nerves. She’s been given more responsibility lately, and with Harry’s subtle support, she’s been slowly gaining confidence.
"Got it. I'll make sure to get everything."
As she moves closer to the crime scene, Y/N kneels by the body, snapping photos of the surroundings. Her heart beats a little faster as she works, but the adrenaline feels good. And while the scene before her is dark, there’s something about Harry’s quiet faith in her that makes her feel capable. She captures the details—each angle, each small clue—as if she’s been doing this for years. She steals a glance back at Harry, catching him watching her from a distance. For a moment, she wonders if he sees something more than just a hard-working intern.
As the team works around her, Harry steps away briefly to speak with the others, but his eyes flick back to her every so often. Y/N can feel it—his attention on her, the weight of it—but for now, she’s focused on her task. Still, there’s a strange pull between them, unspoken, but undeniable, lingering in the air like the tension of the scene itself.
Harry wants to leave soon, to talk to someone and take y/n with him, this time, he drives. As they pull away from the crime scene, Harry’s eyes are focused on the road, but his mind is already on the next step. Y/N’s still processing everything they’ve seen.
“So, what’s your take on this case so far?"
Y/N pauses, glancing up at him. She can tell he’s genuinely interested in her opinion.
“I think the victim knew the killer. Too many personal details for it to be random, but the motive’s still unclear."
Harry nods thoughtfully. "I agree. That’s why I’m going to talk to the first suspect now. Stay sharp—this could get tricky."
Y/N feels a small thrill at his trust in her judgment. It’s not just about the case anymore; it’s the way he values her input. As they drive toward the suspect’s location, she wonders if he’s giving her more responsibility on purpose, or if it’s just part of the job. Either way, it feels like a step forward.
After questioning the suspect, Harry and Y/N head back to the office, the car cutting through the quiet streets. Y/N’s mind is still on the conversation with the suspect, but then..her stomach growls loudly.
Harry glances over at her, his eyes sharp but gentle.
"Did you eat anything this morning?"
Y/N flushes slightly, trying to keep her cool, but the guilt is written all over her face.
"Yeah, I—"
"You didn’t eat, did you?"
Y/N shifts uncomfortably.
"I’m fine, really."
Harry sighs, shaking his head with a small smile."We’re making a stop. You’re getting something to eat. I know a good taco place.”
He turns the car off the main road, pulling into a small taco place. The smell of sizzling meat and fresh tortillas drifts through the air as they step out, and Harry opens the door for her, his usual professionalism replaced with a kind of care.
As they sit at a small booth, Y/N digs into her food, finally letting herself relax. Harry watches her for a moment, the glint of something unreadable in his eyes. After a few bites, she glances up at him.
"So, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you always so grumpy? You’re like... a walking storm cloud sometimes."
Harry chokes on his drink a little, caught off guard by her boldness. He laughs—genuinely, with a surprised smile that softens his usually serious face.
He chuckles and wipes his mouth. "Grumpy? I’m not grumpy. I’m just... focused."
Y/N raises an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Focused, huh? Is that what you’re calling it?"
Harry shrugs, his smirk turning wry, clearly amused by her bluntness."Okay, maybe I’m a little grumpy. But someone’s gotta keep this place in line. You can’t just go around smiling all the time like everything’s sunshine and rainbows."
Y/N laughs, and for a second, their eyes meet. There’s an ease between them now, something playful, yet still with an undercurrent of something deeper. Harry’s usual walls are lower, and Y/N’s teasing is making him more human in her eyes.
"I don’t know, sometimes I think it wouldn’t hurt to see you smile a little more. Just... not at the crime scene, please."
Harry chuckles again, and it’s the kind of laugh that feels lighter than usual—almost as if he doesn’t mind sharing this side of himself with her.
"I’ll try. But no promises.", he says with a soft smirk.Y/N found herself grinning as she saw his dimples poke out. She hadn’t realized how much she loved seeing that little dimple until now, how it made him look so much more... approachable.
After a few more bites, she glances up at him. "Why did you want to be a detective, Agent Styles?"
The question lingers in the air. Harry’s fork pauses halfway to his mouth, and for a moment, there’s a heaviness between them. "Because I lost someone who mattered. My sister... she was murdered by some people when we were younger. I couldn’t sit by, not after that."
Y/N’s breath catches, and she sees the pain flicker in his eyes—his calm demeanor betraying a history of loss that runs deep. It’s the first time she’s seen him so vulnerable, so open.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t know.", she says quietly.
Harry shrugs, with a distant look in his eyes,"It’s alright. It’s been a long time... but it’s why I do this. It’s why I never give up on a case. To make sure no one else has to go through that."
There’s a pause, and Y/N feels the weight of his words sink in. She reaches out, placing her hand gently on his. The warmth of the moment takes them both by surprise. He appreciates the gesture, thumb ever so softly stroking a line on the back of her hand.
“You can call me Harry by the way, when we’re not at work.”, he says to lighten the air, and she smiles, drawing her hand back. “Okay.”
Little did she know that Harry had told her something that no one else knew about him.
________________________________________________________
The precinct is buzzing with its usual morning chaos, the air thick with the noise of phones ringing, officers discussing cases, and the sound of feet shuffling across the floors. y/n is at her desk, flipping through some case files, trying to focus. She’s about to make another note, when she hears the unmistakable sound of Ethan and Eliza approaching her desk, their voices carrying through the room in a familiar, teasing tone.
“Well, well, y/n, looks like you’ve caught Styles’ attention,” Ethan says with a playful grin, sliding into the seat across from her. He leans back, crossing his arms, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
y/n looks up, feigning confusion. “What are you talking about?”
Eliza raises an eyebrow, a sly smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Oh, come on. We’ve all seen it. Harry doesn’t usually make time for anyone. But you—" she motions between the two of them, “—you got breakfast with him this morning. He doesn’t do that unless he’s got a soft spot.”
Eliza’s cheeks flush slightly. She opens her mouth to protest, but Ethan cuts her off.
“We’re just saying, Harry’s usually all business, right? But with you—” he gestures with a wink, “he’s practically a different guy. You must be special.”
y/n can’t help but laugh awkwardly, trying to brush it off. Yes, they had eaten breakfast together that morning, because both of them happened to arrive early to the office. “You guys are ridiculous. We just had breakfast. He saw me sitting alone and he was just being... well, Harry.”
But they aren’t buying it. Eliza smirks, leaning forward. “Right, Harry just casually opens up to you about his deepest, darkest secrets over a bagel. We’re all jealous, you know.”
y/n shakes her head, a little embarrassed, but also secretly amused. “Okay, okay, I get it. He’s not a softie, I swear.”
Ethan grins, clearly enjoying teasing her. “Sure, sure. But just wait until the next big case. When he pulls you aside to give you a ‘confidential’ briefing, we’ll be here, dying of curiosity.”
y/n sighs, trying not to laugh as she adjusts the papers in front of her. “I don’t think you have to worry about that. I’m still the intern, remember?”
Eliza raises her hands in mock surrender. “Don’t act like you don’t know exactly what we’re talking about. We all saw the way Harry looked at you when he was complimenting you yesterday. Like... he actually noticed your contribution for once.”
At that, y/n’s face goes a little redder, but she can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face. “He just—well, he just doesn’t say much. When he does, it’s kind of a big deal.”
Ethan chuckles, leaning in closer. “Yeah, we’ve noticed. Harry doesn’t exactly dish out compliments like candy. And if he says you’re doing good work? That’s... noteworthy.”
y/n laughs nervously, feeling a little overwhelmed by their teasing, but she’s also secretly flattered. She’s always admired Harry—his skill, his mind, the way he commands respect from everyone around him—and to hear that they’ve noticed the shift in his behavior, even in the smallest ways, makes her feel like she’s on the right track.
“Alright, alright, enough. You’ve got me all figured out,” y/n says, trying to play it off cool. “But don’t go getting any ideas. He’s still Harry Styles.”
“Sure, sure,” Eliza says, winking. “But we’ll be keeping an eye on you two.”
As they walk away, leaving her to her work, y/n smiles to herself, a warm feeling spreading in her chest. She wasn’t sure if Harry really had a soft spot for her, but just knowing that she’d earned a little of his respect—enough for the team to notice—felt like a win. Maybe she wasn’t just the intern anymore. Maybe, just maybe, she was starting to become something more.
______________________________________________
y/n has been busy lately. She passed her detective training exam but the theory exam wasn’t over yet, so she was preparing for that, along with managing the work she had been assigned at the FBI. It’s nearly midnight when Harry walks into the office, his eyes scanning the darkened room before landing on Y/N. He spots her hunched over her desk, staring at the screen, her tired eyes squinting in the dim light. By now he knows she’s a hard worker, but what really hits him is how late it’s gotten—and how she hasn’t stopped working.
Harry’s voice is tight with concern, trying to mask his frustration."Y/N, what the hell are you still doing here?"
Y/N looks up, startled, her fingers still hovering over the keyboard as she blinks at him, trying to hide the exhaustion on her face.
"Just finishing up some things... It’s not that late."
He sternly walks closer. "It’s midnight. You should be home, resting. This can wait until tomorrow."
Y/N opens her mouth to argue, but the look on his face stops her. She’s used to his seriousness, but there’s something more here—something that’s not just about the case.
His voice softens, but still firm."You’re not invincible, Y/N. You need to take care of yourself."
Y/N sighs, glancing back at the stack of files on her desk, torn between wanting to finish everything and knowing she’s pushing herself too hard.
"I’m fine, Harry. Really. I just want to get this done."
Harry’s frustration slips through as he says, "No, you’re not fine. You’ve been at this for hours, and you’re running on empty. I’m not leaving until you get some rest."
Y/N meets his eyes, seeing the genuine concern there, but also the subtle edge of worry in his features. She opens her mouth to protest again, but Harry doesn’t give her the chance.
Harry grabs her bag from the desk. "Come on. You’re getting in the car, and I’m taking you home."
She hesitates for a moment, but Harry’s serious enough that she knows there’s no point in arguing.
She grabs her things and follows him out of the office. The rain is coming down hard now, the city streets glistening under the dim streetlights. Harry opens the door for her, holding out an umbrella as they step out into the downpour.
They don’t speak at first, the quiet of the night surrounding them, just the soft patter of rain as they walk to his car. Once inside, the silence between them feels comfortable, but Harry keeps glancing at her, concern still etched on his face.
Harry breaks the silence."You sure you’re okay? You’ve been pushing yourself too hard lately."
“I’m fine, my detective exam is soon, I just really wanna make it.”
“You will, you’ve already passed the physical. Trust me, you don’t have to worry about making it, the exam’s gonna be very easy for you.”
She lets out a soft exhale, those words making her feel a little better. After all, he had gone through all of this. “Are you gonna apply to work here?”
“Yes, I think this is where I wanna work. Not sure about the department though, I still have other rotations. I’m going to be with foreign affairs next week.”
Harry gasps in hurt, glancing over at her. “You don’t wanna be in homicide? Is it because I’m grumpy?”
She laughs, shaking her head. “It’s not you, Harry.. And I love homicide, the thrill is amazing! It’s just that I still have other departments to experience, you know, that’s what an internship is for.”
“Believe me, you aren’t gonna find any other department as interesting as this. But yes, you’re right. You have time to decide.”
The rest of the drive is mostly quiet, just the sound of the rain tapping on the windshield. When they finally reach her flat, Harry pulls up to the curb, parking the car in front of the building. He looks over at her, his voice quiet, with that same concern in it.
"You sure you’ll be okay getting inside? It’s late, and it’s still raining pretty bad."
Y/N nods, though she can’t hide the weariness in her eyes."Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks for the ride, Harry."
He doesn’t move, and for a moment, she thinks he’s going to say something more, but instead, he opens his door and steps out, walking around the car to open hers.
He holds the umbrella over her as they step out into the rain, his arm wrapping around her back and her arm as he keeps her close and they walk side by side toward her building. The air is cool, and the rain falls steadily, but there’s something about the closeness of the moment that makes it feel almost intimate.
When they reach her door, Harry stops, looking at her with that same quiet intensity. "You’re getting some sleep tonight. No excuses."
Y/N can’t help but smile at his persistence, the kind of care that’s always just under the surface of his gruff exterior."I promise. I’ll get some rest."
Harry doesn’t move immediately, his gaze lingering on her face. There’s an almost unspoken weight in the air now, a subtle shift between them. Without thinking, Y/N reaches out and touches his arm, her fingers brushing against his sleeve.
“Thanks for everything, Harry. Really."
His eyes flicker down to where her hand rests on his arm, and for a moment, the world seems to pause. Slowly, he lifts his free hand, tucking a wet strand of hair behind her ear. His touch lingers for a second longer than necessary, and Y/N feels her heart race at the intimacy of it.
His voice is low, and a bit hoarse."Anytime. You don’t have to thank me."
The tension between them lingers in the rain-soaked air. Harry steps back, holding the umbrella just a little closer to her to shield her from the downpour. Then he whispers softly, "Sleep well, Y/N."
He gives her a soft smile before turning to leave. Y/N watches him walk away, her heart still fluttering from the small but meaningful moments they’ve shared. The rain still falls, but in that quiet moment, everything feels a little different—like they’ve crossed a line, even if just for a moment.
As she walks into her apartment, she can’t help but replay his words and the feeling of his touch, knowing that whatever happens next, something between them has changed.
_____________________________________________
Y/N enters the quarters, the soft click of the door barely audible as she steps inside. The usual hum of chatter and playful teasing is absent, replaced by an air of tension that hangs thick in the room. Her eyes quickly scan the group of agents—none of them in their usual good-natured moods, all absorbed in their own thoughts. Something’s off.
Her gaze lands on Harry, talking quietly with someone behind his glass office door. He looks serious, his posture rigid, eyes narrowed as if he’s deep in conversation about something important. Y/N walks to Nora who’s sitting at her desk, the usual casual grin replaced by a solemn expression.
"Hey, what’s going on? Why’s everyone so serious today?"
The agent looks up. "We got a lead on the Rotherl case. Word is, he has a fourth hostage with him. Cole and Eliza managed to track down where he should be right now and we’re just waiting on Harry’s word to go.”
“A fourth hostage?”, she gasps. She wasn’t part of the team during the investigation of the Rothel murders but she had read up all about it. He was one of the most wanted men, who kidnapped his victims before killing them. He had already killed three innocent people, leaving no traces behind him. If they had a lead on him, that was amazing.
She glances toward Harry’s office, where he’s still deep in conversation, his jaw clenched. Before she can ask more, the door opens, and Harry steps out, his sharp gaze scanning the room. “Let’s go, everyone. I’ve called for backup. Matthews, Carter, good job. Now let’s wrap this up.”
“This mother fucker has had enough of a run.”, Eliza mutters, strapping on her bullet proof west and tossing the other to her partner.
Y/N’s been with the team for weeks now, and in that time, Harry’s allowed her to tag along when things got tense, letting her learn the ropes. She can’t imagine being left behind on something so big, not now.
She grabs her things, ready to move with the team, but Harry catches her before she gets too far, his lean fingers wrapping around her wrist.
"Not this time, Y/N.", he says, his voice firm, with no room for negotiation.
Y/N freezes, her heart sinking at his words. She’s about to protest, but she catches the look in his eyes—a mix of concern and something else she can’t quite place. She takes a breath, trying to keep her voice steady.
"Come on, Harry. I’ve been with you through worse. You know I can handle it."
“It’s not about how much you can handle, y/n. This is a mad man, and you don’t even have a gun to defend yourself.”
“But I’m trained to fight, and I can use a gun if someone throws it to me-”
“-y/l/n.”, Harry cuts her off with his classic stern face. She hasn’t gotten her gun license yet, she’ll get that only after she becomes an agent after her exams, but she’s already done with all her training. He’s trying to protect her, she realizes. Still, she won’t back down so easily.
"You can’t keep me in the dark. I want to be there with you guys.”, she says firmly.
Harry stares at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers as if weighing the risk. Finally, he sighs, his shoulders slumping just slightly.
He reluctantly agrees. "Fine. You can come. But you stay in the car. Understood?"
Y/N’s heart skips, but she hides her smile, knowing she’s won this small battle. She nods, her voice determined.
"Understood.”
Harry studies her for a moment longer, as if trying to gauge if she’s really going to stick to her word. When he finally nods, there’s something like relief in his eyes, mixed with the ever-present worry that seems to linger with him.
"Good. But if you step one foot out of that car, I swear I’ll drag your ass back inside myself.”
Y/N chuckles lightly, her eyes meeting his with a flicker of something unspoken. “Got it, sir.”
As Harry turns to lead the team out, Y/N follows behind, a mixture of excitement and nerves swirling inside her. This was more than just another case. It was a dangerous one, and she was in it, even if only on the sidelines.
“Here, y/n, put this on.”, Ethan comes to her with a bullet proof vest just like everyone else’s. She didn’t think she’d need one sitting in the car, but she put it on, not wanting to start another argument with an agent.
They pile into the cars, the tension in the air thick as they head toward the high-risk location. Y/N’s fingers tap nervously on her lap as she watches Harry in the rearview mirror, his eyes already set on the mission ahead, and she can’t help but feel, even in the midst of everything, that tonight could change something between them.
The car rolled to a stop a few blocks from the dilapidated building. The air outside felt damp from the rain that had just stopped falling, but the tension was thick, and the city streets seemed unusually silent, despite the flashing lights of squad cars surrounding the area.
Y/N leaned forward in the passenger seat, her eyes glued to the building in front of them. The usual lighthearted banter between the team was gone.She could see Harry’s figure through the windshield as he stepped out of the car, his dark coat flaring behind him like a shadow as he walked toward the rest of the team.
She saw the subtle clench of his jaw, the way his body was braced for the weight of what they were about to face. His focus was sharper tonight, sharper than usual. He was already in the thick of it, mentally preparing for what could be a deadly confrontation.
Y/N’s fingers curled into the seat, but she stayed silent. Harry moved with precision, the rest of the team falling in behind him as they gathered around him. The air between them was charged, the kind of energy that only came when everything was on the line.
She heard Harry’s calm voice through his earpiece, “Position yourselves around the building. No one moves unless I give the word.”
Y/N nodded along with the rest of the team, even though Harry couldn’t see it. Her heart hammered in her chest as her gaze shifted from Harry to the building—dark and looming against the city skyline. She could barely make out the figure standing in the doorway.
It was Rothel. The man who had committed violent crimes. And now, he was holding someone else hostage.
Y/N exhaled slowly, gripping the seat tighter. The girl in the doorway, only a teenager by the looks of it, was standing frozen in place, her face pale with fear. Rothel had a gun to her forehead, and she heard him yell out something, but couldn’t make out what it was. Harry raised a hand to the rest of the team, signalling them to hold off.
She could hear Harry. “Rothel, listen to me. Let her go. We don’t need any more bloodshed. Just put the gun down.”
She couldn’t see Harry’s face from the car, but Y/N knew how carefully he must have been approaching the situation. His voice never cracked, but there was an undercurrent of urgency there—just enough to show he was trying to negotiate without pushing Rothel over the edge.
The earpiece crackled with static, and then Rothel’s voice, sharp and filled with fury, came through.
Rothel growled. “I don’t want to hear your deals. If you don’t back the fuck off, I’ll shoot her right here.”
Y/N’s hands went ice-cold. The air in the car felt thick, suffocating. She swallowed hard, wishing there was something she could do, some way she could help, but all she could do was watch—wait—and pray that Harry could talk him down.
Harry’s voice came again, steady and unwavering.
“You don’t want to do this, Rothel. Let her go. We can work something out. Just... put the gun down. It’s not too late.”
Y/N’s eyes were fixed on the building as the tension in the air grew heavier. There was a shift, a subtle movement at one of the upper windows. She squinted, her heart dropping as she realized the figure there wasn’t just an observer—he was armed, and his sights were set on Harry.
Her breath caught in her throat. Panic surged through her as she saw the man preparing to act. Without thinking twice, Y/N grabbed her earpiece, trying to warn the others, but there was no time for that. The danger was too immediate.
She threw open the car door, barely pausing before sprinting toward the building. Every step was fueled by a sense of urgency, her mind racing. She couldn’t let him hurt Harry.
Y/N reached the back of the building and found a staircase leading up. She didn’t hesitate as she ascended quickly, her heart thumping in her chest. At the top, she paused, ears straining for any sound—anything that would give away the shooter’s position.
There, at the far end of the hallway, the man stood, oblivious to Y/N’s approach. She didn’t think, she just moved. Silent and quick, she rushed toward him, tackling him off balance. They hit the ground, but the struggle wasn’t over.
“Move out of my way unless you want me to kill you, bitch.”, he growled.
“Oh you can try.”, she growled back.
The man pushed back, trying to regain his footing, but Y/N used every ounce of her strength to keep him down. He fought back, his hands grabbing at her, but she was faster—more determined.
In the chaos, she was struck hard, sending her crashing into the wall. The impact knocked the wind out of her, but she gritted her teeth and pushed herself to her feet, ignoring the growing pain. She couldn’t let him get to Harry. He needed to save that girl.
She heard gun shots from below and something that sounded like a cry of relief from the hostage, then she heard Harry’s voice through her fallen earpiece. “He’s down, great job team.” She made the mistake of letting her guard down for one second, in relief, and that’s when the man managed to rise to his feet and point the gun at her.
She heard Harry’s voice again, through her earpiece, now panicked. “Y/N, where are you? Answer me.”
Her vision swam from the dizziness, but she forced herself to focus. The man looked down and groaned in frustration. y/n laughed. “Guess your little plan didn’t work out, huh?”
“It was a good plan, now it’s all ruined because of you. Did you think I was joking when I said I’d kill you?”
“Y/N?”, she heard footsteps and Harry’s voice.
“Harry!”, she called back, panic starting to rise in her chest. The gun was pointed at her, so she couldn’t risk moving.
Harry points his own gun at the man. “Put it down right now, you sick bastard.”
y/n closed her eyes as she heard two shots fire at the same time. Then she heard a big thud. Suddenly, there was pain shooting through her body. The pain was overwhelming, but there was something else—disbelief, confusion, and the shock of what had just happened.
She had been shot.
She was brought back from her dazed state by Harry’s panicked, almost broken, voice, “Y/N, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay..don’t worry, o-okay?”
She could hear the crack in his voice, the fear that only came when someone was truly scared of losing someone they cared about. Her heart fluttered weakly in her chest at the realization. Her thoughts weren’t on the blood soaking her arm or the pain threatening to consume her. They were on Harry. He was here. He was with her. And as she fought to keep her eyes open, the last thing she heard was him calling her name, desperately holding onto her in the chaos of it all.
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#harry styles#harry styles imagines#harry styles fluff#harry styles masterlist#harry styles writing#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles x reader#harry styles smut#harry styles au#harry styles blurb#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles short story#harry styles series#harry styles story#harry styles one direction#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles angst#harry smut#harry angst#harry x y/n#detective!harry#x reader#angst#fluff#smut#harry styles fanfic
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silky smooth (p. sh)
★ pairing: seonghwa x f!reader ★ genre: smut (but soft!!), mdni!! ★ word count: 1.5k ★ tags/warnings: oral (m rec), oral (f rec), vaginal fingering, piv sex (implied w/o a condom), seonghwa is a lil anxious but reader reassures him ★ notes: in response to this anon ask! this is a non-beta'd, stream of consciousness, soft smut part 2 to friends with benefits a roommate!
you and seonghwa make out in the door way, giggly and both so fluttery happy to having finally admitted your feelings to each other.
you make your way to seonghwa's bed, and things get hot and heavy. you’re in his lap, lips searing as they move from his lips to his neck, when suddenly he pulls back.
“wha- is everything okay?” you’re like.
“yeah…” seonghwa runs his hands along your thighs nervously and seems to avoid your gaze, looking at a spot above your shoulder.
“so, when you said you and mingi never really hooked up—?”
you sigh. “that first time, we made out a little, and then kinda… groped each other? but we were super drunk, and it felt really weird because we’re such good friends, i guess? so we just went to sleep. and then i met you, so… every time after that i was just inviting myself over to hang out with you in the mornings.”
this makes seonghwa feel marginally better. he’s been friends and roommates with mingi since college, so he’s heard enough to know that mingi is good in bed, and feels comforted that he won’t have to compete with him.
but now, there’s a new anxiety bubbling up—
he hasn’t been with someone else in… a while. he’s been so go go go with work that it’s only been him, his hand, and whatever video happens to pop up first on the home page of his favorite porn site. even then, they’d been unsatisfactory—hurried sessions in the shower to take off the edge, lazy jerks just before bed.
he finally has his dream girl in bed, and he’s scared he’s going to mess this up. they’ve only been making out for a few minutes, and already he’s so hard and pent up.
“do you not want to tonight?” you ask gently.
“no!” he says, a little too frantically. “no—i want to. we’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
you grin at that, and lean down to kiss him again, but you can probably still feel some of the tension in his shoulders because you hold off. you peck his cheek softly.
“... is there something else on your mind?” you say.
“it’s- uh- it’s been a while,” he finally admits.
“that’s okay,” you sa y. “i don’t care about that. ‘cause- y’know. it’s you. and i really like you.”
“...really?” when seonghwa says he hasn’t been with someone in a while, he also means emotionally. it’s been even longer than a while since he’s been vulnerable with someone. but you’re so comforting and comfortable that he wants to try—he really does. there’s just still a mental barrier in the way.
“yeah,” you say, giving this earth shattering smile that makes his stomach feel flighty and his chest feel warm. “it’ll be good no matter what.”
“o- okay,” he says.
“why don’t i take the lead?” you say. your words are so kind and thoughtful, but your eyes have gone all half-lidded and sultry. he feels himself getting worked up again. “help you get out your head a little?”
seonghwa nods, licking his lips when he notices how dry his mouth has gone.
you start slow. mouthing at his neck and nosing at the collar of his sleep shirt. it’s one of those silk button-up kind, and he usually keeps the top one undone, likes some space around his throat when he sleeps. now—it means you have free reign over his entire decolletage.
your lips are so fucking soft.
you nip at his skin, then soothe the little bites with tiny kitten licks. it’s nothing terribly raunchy, but he feels himself melt into putty under your touch.
you’re oh so careful with him, and he appreciates it so much.
slowly, you unbutton the rest of his shirt, your lips following your fingers down his front. he feels less anxious now, but he’s still breathing heavily, body wrought with anticipation.
when you reach the waistband of his bottoms, you look up at him, and he nearly busts on the spot at the sight of your doe eyes looking up at him like that.
“this okay?” you say, and you sound nearly as breathless as he feels.
he nods.
“words?” you ask, as you kiss the spot just under his navel.
god, he never thought of his stomach as an erogenous zone, but he has to hold back a moan as he opens his mouth to respond to you.
“yes,” he bites out. “please,” he adds as an afterthought.
the luxurious glide of his silk bottoms as you slip them down his legs makes him shiver. then he feels your hot breath ghost along his clothed cock, straining against the cotton of his briefs.
both of you sigh when you finally pull off his briefs.
“knew you’d have a pretty cock,” you say, and seonghwa thinks his entire body much be blushing.
“don’t worry,” you smile. “i’ll take good care of you.”
you keep intense eye contact with him as you lick a stripe up his length, and he gasps. and then you take the head into your mouth, and he thinks he sees god.
your mouth is so perfect and warm and wet. you’re teasing him, the way you take forever to take his full cock into your mouth. and you just keep going, all the way to your throat. you hum, and he nearly loses his mind.
and then—you start bobbing your head up and down, tonguing at the veins on the underside of his cock. he’s so sensitive and so pent up and so enamoured by you.
“ah- oh! you- ah! omygod, omygod. please please please, fuck—!” he’s never whined like this before with anyone. usually he’s the one in control, but now he’s the one at your mercy, and you know what you’re doing to him.
“wait wait wait—” he pulls you off his cock. “sorry sorry! i was about to- uh- i didn’t want to before—” he breaks off awkwardly. his entire body thrums with arousal. feverishly, he thinks he might understand the merits to edging after stopping you just in time.
“mmm,” you say, seductive but also teasing. “good call.”
“can you- can i take this off?” he asks shyly, playing with the hem of your shirt. he’s only just realized that he’s basically naked, and you’re still fully clothed. “can i take care of you now?”
you grin at him.
so he undresses you, a little desperately. he feels a little crazed after ripping away his own orgasm, and he’s chasing after that high by making you feel just as good as you made him feel.
he kisses you everywhere. you have the nicest tits he’s ever seen. buries his face into them. licks and pinches your nipples. runs his hands reverently over your hips and waist. palms your ass.
spreads your thighs.
“you’re- you’re pretty, too,” he says, while licking your clit and relishing in the way you moan and your legs tighten around his head. “everywhere, but especially here.”
it’s been a while, so he just tries everything. fucks you with his tongue first, really tastes you, before plunging two fingers into you. he moves back to licking and sucking on your clit while his finger quirk up inside you, searching for that spot.
you’re so good with him. guiding and praising him so that his confidence grows, and soon, you’re cumming. your pussy clenches down on his fingers, and your back arches off the bed, and you moan his name like he’s god.
he made you cum.
“was that okay?” he asks.
“more than okay,” you pant. “now please fuck me.”
so he does. if he thought your mouth was amazing, it’s nothing compared to your cunt. your perfect wet cunt that sucks him like you’re made for him.
both of you are babbling messes as he fucks clumsily into you.
“yes—right there, baby, right there! so good, so good—fuck!” you tell him.
“oh, god. oh, god. you’re so fucking perfect. you feel so fucking good. i’m not gonna last—fuck!”
it’s short, but it’s good, and seonghwa has the best orgasm of his life. afterwards, he cleans you up with his mouth and coaxes one more orgasm from you.
“so,” you say. “okay?”
“yeah,” he says, grinning. “more than okay.”
“i told you,” you sing.
he insists on showering again with you because he never goes to sleep without feeling clean, and you oblige him because “i like you so so much, park seonghwa.”
and then you’ll fall asleep together—you’re wearing the silk top, and he wears the bottoms, and together you make a perfect set.
#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#park seonghwa#seonghwa smut#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez imagines#[sunsh writes]
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*crawls out of my blanket nest covered in blood* TRANS FEMME HEADCANONS YOU SAY
I'm here to spread my trans femme Tim stoker and sero hanta agenda
-Tim is absultely entrenched in the queer community but it takes her FOREVER to realize shes a girl especially after Danny's death
-she didnt really struggle with dysphoria until after the Prentiss incident and that was partially due to just Everything Changing and Going Wrong already
-assumed she was non binary at first bc she didn't think she could be a girl and still be comfortable or at least neutral to being called he/him
-Melanie and daisy being around was absolutely what helped crack her egg. Daisy=werewolf=gender i don't make the rules. Melanie is also an angry trans woman who Tim works with and Tim thinks shes so cool but is too depressed and angry at the world to really start up a proper conversation with her
-literally nothing changes abt her i think, she even still goes by Tim probably, she just wears skirts and dresses more and starts using she/her
-used to help Sasha do her makeup so whenever she actually feels like doing makeup hers is always the best in the whole institute
-literally nothing more gender than being doomed by the narrative
Sero!!
-definition of "I'm probably a girl but I have a job so idrc abt that right now"
-I headcanon she was pretty isolated/lonely growing up so she didnt know a whole lot abt the queer community and it isn't until shes with class 1a that she even starts learning more abt it
-Mina, momo, kirishima, and hagakure helped her with her gender crisis. Momo bought her the fanciest dresses and whatever outfits she wanted and kirishima and mina talked to her abt all the different ways to express/experience gender, and hagakure was always there encouraging her to try new things and talk abt her own experience with hrt (everyone in class 1a is queer to me. With one exception but we dont talk abt the grape)
-I am so abnormal abt giving sero a spider motif so I headcanon she changed her name to arachne. She doesnt really mind her birth name, but she likes arachne much better.
-took literally all three years of school at UA to realize shes a trans woman. There was just always something else going on
I need more ppl to see the vision bc theres so few trans femme sero fics and NO TRANSFEMME TIM FICS on ao3 and I'm but one person who's a slow writer PLEASEE
If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.
#purgatory reblogs stuff#headcanons#my hero academia#mha#mha sero#mha sero hanta#sero hanta#transgender#transfem#trans girl sero#wow been a while since i jsed any mha tags#how we doing over here#the magnus archives#tim tma#tma podcast#tim stoker#timothy stoker#tma tim stoker#mha headcanons#tma headcanons
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Imagine being a Blue Lock manager! ⚽
VERSION IV.
(a/n: Hey everybody! Really sorry for not updating this week's been VERY hectic, but im back and ready to post new eps again 🙏 thanxx for your support ❤️)
WARNING!-none
wc: 1.1 k words
ALSO: tags-@ttheggrimrreaper ❤️ bear with me, ur episode is coming i swear
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FROM THE PROLOGUE:
“Congratulations L/N Y/N! Based on your results, you've earned your place in Blue Lock as the manager of player number…
…11, Isagi Yoichi."
The icon of an unknown person appeared on the screens. Looking closely, you tried to recall if you had ever heard of him during your training, before realising you didn’t interact with the male species for months so you definitely can’t remember the boy.
‘Maybe someone mentioned him a few weeks ago?’
Heading to the assigned room and getting there, Anri immediately gave you a bunch of stuff while telling you about some of Ego’s newly adapted annoying habits. Minutes later, she finished her complaining and let you go you to find your new player.
Imagine being the manager of Isagi Yoichi, the heart of Blue Lock.
——————
Isagi Yoichi, with whom you immediately click moments after you first meet him, the conversations going surprisingly smooth. His attentive and kind nature made you much more talkative than usual, feeling lucky that you somehow managed to get a normal boy. The nightmares that tortured you for the past week, anxious about who you were gonna end up with were also nowhere to be found. Between the breaks of practice matches, Yoichi would always come to the benches, eager to continue your little chat from earlier, seemingly taking genuine interest in you. And when he had to go back to the field, you simply watched him in silence while quickly reading through his data sheet.
——————
•Isagi, who you notice that literally every day, during all the matches tends to think and analyze a lot, which surprised you a bit, didn’t expecting to get someone who actually thinks before he acts.
•In the first few days he would mostly keep his thoughts to himself and although he does share some of them regarding soccer with you, he still remains a mystery.
•Isagi, who has been really curious about you from the start, and because of that you two talked a lot. From telling him how you ended up in Blue Lock, to him being silly and secretly imitating some of his teammates for fun. He also shared his own goals and how he hoped to be a good player, so you wouldn’t have to deal with all his shit in the future.
•He's also the one who's been holding whichever team he’s been part of together since the beginning and has slowly but surely earned a reputation within the facility. That wasn’t the problem, but rather the fact that your player was known for his harsh words and slurs towards his opponents and for being a completely different person on the pitch instead of the usual respectful guy, making you worry a little.
•The cherry on top however is that he somehow always manages to piss off the biggest, most skilled, clearly not in the mood to be insulted type of players.
•Dealing with this is probably the hardest part of being his manager. Apart from that, you have a pretty normal, simple routine, compared to the others, because well…you don't have to do much other than the standard work schedule, since Isagi is just easy to deal with. He doesn’t break the rules, eats what he’s given and always gets up on time.
•This is usually how your days go until the unexpected U20 match announcement comes, which makes the boy much, much more motivated making you basically fight to be able to keep up with him. Your tasks suddenly also multiply, having to give more detailed reports to the boss, monitoring Yoichi’s food portions and supliments way too carefully all while trying to help him achieve the perfect build for the upcoming match, hoping he gets selected.
•Your secret stash of snacks that you keep hidden in your room specially for him is also prohibited to touch, knowing damn well if Ego or Anri notices the few more calories on his data list both of you will be punished.
“So no more sneaky sweets?”-he asked one night, to which you just nodded regretfully.
“Nooooooooo…”
——————
AFTER THE U20 MATCH…
•Isagi changes. A lot. You would say he has improved and currently still is at a frighteningly fast pace. From the very first match he plays with his ‘new’ team to way he thinks and acts is different. This probably earned him one of the best players title as of now.
•He recently also began to follow a stricter training plan, and although the few chocolate bars you secretly try to give him are reeeeaally tempting, he always rejects them, saying that when he feels like he deserves one, he will accept it, resulting in you having to eat all of them alone before they expire.
•Changing places, didn’t necessarily mean new teammates. Yet, the people in Blue Lock he was the closest with all chose different countries, only some of them going on the same path as Isagi.
•Fortunately, he had no problem finding new and old friends to hang out with, so you thought at least you didn’t have to worry about that. Wrong. You should have.
•Because although Isagi may have gotten along with the Japanese players, the Germans were different. First you thought, maybe it was because of his duality while playing, but it seemed like his mere existence was a problem for specifically 2 German people. They were extremely bothered by him, the murderous look in their eye every time, made you try to keep your player away from them as much as possible.
•Isagi changing meant your nightly routine had to be adjusted as well. Instead of an hour, you now sat with him in front of the big monitors for 2, carefully analyzing his movements every second, papers full of notes and comments to discuss later.
•He also gained immense popularity all over the world with his goal against the U20 that day, receiving comments and praises from fans on a daily basis with them saying how humble and good he is. Yet, despite all this, for some reason he’s need to get a compliment or praise only from you, rises drastically.
•“I’m with you all day, you know me best. I’m just simply curious about your opinion!”
•He, with whom you focus quite a bit on learning the basics of the German language, yet somehow the pronunciation, even the rules have no place in the boy’s puzzle anymore. Still, he tries hard because talking to Bastard München fans and mocking Michael Kaiser in his own native language seems so tempting.
•Over time, you guys became much closer to each other, and even though he has thought about asking you out on a date, he still doesn’t do it because he’s afraid that if things don’t go well, you’ll quit and he simply wouldn’t risk it. You’re the best manager and if necessary, he will continue to try and see you as a friend, as long as you’ll be by his side until the end of his journey.
#bllk#bllk x reader#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x manager au#bllk isagi#blue lock u20#blue lock x you#blue lock isagi#isagi yoichi#yoichi isagi x reader#yoichi isagi#isagi yoichi x reader#isagi yoichi x you#isagi x reader#bastard munchen#reader x isagi yoichi#slight mention of michael kaiser
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hiiii, i hope your friday is going well lovely 💞💞 :) how has your week been?💕
i’m currently stuck at work and it’s beeeeeen quite the day already, but you always cheer me up so i have a random question :p
i’m thinking about the scene when dean tried cafe con leche in the midnight espresso-verse (also i’m a barista loll🥲), and he was pleasantly surprised, so it has me wondering;
if they were to get something besides plain coffee, what do you think dean/ben/beau/russell would like to drink if they ordered at a coffee shop?
i always love to hear any and all your thoughts 🙂↕️🤍
Hello my lovely! 💞💞 I actually am in recovery this week after having a surgical procedure yesterday, so I'm finally getting a chance to catch up on my TBR reading and the shows I've had on my watchlist. 🤪
Ooh introducing Dean to Cuban espresso was the scene that inspired that whole fic of Midnight Espresso, and ultimately turned it into a whole series of Dean x plus-sized Latina fun!! lol
This is such a fun question though!! You as a barista probably know way more about coffee than I do, but here's my take on these guys' orders...
HEADCANON: What Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw would order at a coffee shop. ☕
Dean Winchester
Why, an espresso of course! 🤎
Cram that little cup full of sugar, and you've got Dean hooked on a heavy-hitter fix that'll keep him up during long research sessions. (It also gives you the opportunity to distract him from said research, give him a taste of another steamy fix. 😘❤️🔥)
Beau Arlen
Ooh I feel like he'd protest at first and claim to solely drink Americanos, but he's a basic latte guy.
Hit him with some caramel or hazelnut, and he's happy. But you could also hook him into being a little adventurous with a pistachio or "brown sugar" latte lol. Like most things, Beau is willing to try almost anything once. 😉
Soldier Boy (Ben)
So he's definitely going to be thrown by all the modern selections of coffee. (i.e. "What the fuck is oatmilk?") And how the hell can you get milk out of cashews and almonds?
All the health crazes, "drip" coffee, and milk alternatives are definitely going over his head, or he's mocking them. ("Save that pussy drink for Hughie." 💀)
But one thing he might go for, other than a black coffee, is a nice cold brew, hold off on too much foam -- can't be getting the milkstache, now can he? But he'll like it even better if you make it "Irish." 💚
Russell Shaw
Last but certainly not least, we have Russell! I don't think he's picky about his coffee, considering he probably drinks a lot of free motel coffee. lol
But! I think he'd appreciate a nice flat white at a proper café. It's more robust than a normal cappuccino and less milk, so he'd argue that he's getting more "bang for his buck." 😂
AN: @wvffles Hope you liked this little headcanon, friend, and that it cheers you up! I LOVE me some coffee, so this question with the guys was really fun to contemplate. 😘☕
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Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy + Russell Tag List (Part 1)
@kazsrm67 @foxyjwls007 @luci-in-trenchcoats @waynes-multiverse @lamentationsofalonelypotato
@mostlymarvelgirl @thebiggerbear @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester
@deans-spinster-witch @sanscas @mxltifxnd0m @hobby27 @kaleldobrev @spnwoman
@samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters @globetrotter28 @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean
@lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2 @deansbbyx @chernayawidow
@mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @twinkleinadiamondsky
@my-stories-vault @kayleighwinchester @rizlowwritessortof @cookiechipdough @mrsjenniferwinchester
@fromcaintodean @k-slla @jackles010378 @deanbrainrotwritings @alwaystiredandconfused
@mrlonelycat @deans-daydream @leigh70 @aylacavebear @kmc1989
@siampie @rubyvhs @winchestergirl2 @winchester-whiskey
#Headcanon: Coffee Time#dean winchester#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#beau arlen x reader#dean x reader#supernatural#beau arlen x you#beau arlen#beau arlen imagine#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy#soldier boy imagine#spn#big sky#tracker#the boys#dean winchester fanfiction#supernatural x reader#soldier boy fanfiction#russell shaw#jensen ackles#jackles#supernatural imagine#jensen ackles x reader#russell shaw x reader#zepskies writes
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sharing their interests
synopsis: what happens you have the same interests as them (sword-fighting and cooking)
feat: zoro and sanji
notes: could've included the other characters for this, but i feel like for zoro and sanji this would work best!! i've honestly ALWAYS wanted to learn to use a sword. also don't mind how i can't write a fight scene to save myself 💔
also i will make a masterlist soon i just barely have any posts right now RAH
zoro
ZORO has lived by the ways of the blade his whole life. he eats, sleeps and breathes his training, and takes pride in his abilities. but for him its more than just a display of strength, and not limited to protecting others, but what he enjoys doing the most - he wants to become the greatest there is after all - so he is genuinely passionate about it.
so one day, when the crew stops by a marketplace on a new island, and you take keen interest in a display of swords, he is very much intrigued that it also caught your attention. even he can't help admiring the designs of the swords, despite being perfectly happy with his own.
"i didn't know that you were interested in this sort of thing," he folds his arms, looking down at where you're squatted.
"i have learnt how to sword-fight in the past... but i wouldn't exactly call myself a pro," you tell him as you trace your finger over the blade, careful sure not to cut yourself. "even though it's been a while, i still enjoy it and admire people who are great at it."
zoro quickly looks away just for a second, before looking back with a small smirk. "is that so? i want to see for myself." he tried to hide his interest in seeing the skills you claimed to have had.
"i guess i could try, but i'm probably rusty now and these swords are pretty expensive." you sigh as you stand up and face him.
before zoro could argue, you hear loud voices chanting not too far away from you both. you and zoro turn your heads to see some marines not too far away, obviously having recognised you both, charging faster in your direction with weapons in their hands.
zoro was quick to draw out his swords and fight, however you had an idea, and a highly impulsive one. you quickly snatch one of the swords from the display, much to the dismay of the stall's owner as you let out a short "sorry, but i need to borrow this!" and follow zoro into the fight.
with all your strength, and despite how unsure you were of yourself, you grip the sword tightly and slice the marines, making them fall onto the ground and heave in pain, then turn around to fight off the rest that are behind you. having been victorious, and seeing them on the ground, you laugh, pleasantly surprised at yourself. from the corner of your eye, you catch zoro smiling at your show as he deals with the last marine.
after that day, zoro now felt a new level of respect, but also admiration of you, stunned that you also had an interest and talent in the same thing as him. he even bought you the sword that you had used, which nami wasn't too happy about at first, but he wanted to see you in action again, better if by his side.
he mentally made note to ask you to train with him one day and even show you techniques that you might be interested in - he's excited to have a sparring partner to practice with!
sanji
cooking is SANJI'S whole life, it was his very first love and he would never trade it for the world. he loves the feeling of making and serving food to hungry people with a smile, even if he's the only one doing it on the ship.
when sanji discovers that you have a knack and enjoyment for cooking yourself, his love and admiration for you grows tenfold.
after returning to the sunny with groceries for dinner, sanji notices a heavenly smell coming from the kitchen. he knows it can't be luffy - he would never be able to make food smell that good without burning the kitchen down. when he opens the door, he is surprised to see you busying yourself rolling dough and pressing it into shapes, while something is baking in the oven.
"mon chéri, are you making something?" he sets the shopping down on the counter and comes to inspect what you're doing.
"yes, luffy was getting hungry and you weren't here, so i decided to make pastries for us all to share," you indicated to what was baking in the oven. "sorry, i didn't want to use the kitchen without asking you, but i didn't want luffy to wreak havoc with his hunger..."
"it's no problem, love," he smiles warmly, then glances at the pastries you're moulding, each in pristine and neat shape. "they look amazing, i didn't know you were so experienced!"
you laugh quietly. "i love cooking so much - and baking - but i love your cooking much more."
sanji flushes for a second, taken aback by the sincerity in your compliment, but also your modesty. "you should've told me sooner, dear. and you don't need to ask to use the kitchen - in fact, i'd love it if we cooked together."
after the rest of the crew joins you both and share the finished pastries together, sanji feels so happy that he's discovered that he has a common interest with someone in the crew, especially because it's his number one passion!
that same night, after you tell him about how much you love cooking and what you've made in the past, he practically begs you to cook dinner with him - not because he can't manage on his own, but he knows it would be more fun if he was doing it with someone who is also passionate as he is. after, he even lets you borrow his favourite cookbooks, lets you in on his best recipes, and makes it a personal mission to cook with you more!
#one piece#fanfic#one piece fanfiction#roronoa zoro#zoro#sanji#black leg sanji#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#x reader#fluff fanfic#zoro x you#sanji x you
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As someone who wants to write their first long romance fic, I looked up “romancing the beat” and… is that it?? Is that really how people write romances? Is that fine? I just write 2-3k for each of the 20 or so steps, and sprinkle in some jokes and some smut and at the end of the “giving up” stage some angst too and it’s done?? I am shook.
I read more fanfic romance than published romance and I was dimly aware that romance is pretty formulaic (especially published stuff) but I didn’t know the formula was so… detailed? Fill-in-the-blanks shaped even?
I've written all those things before (smut fluff and angest) although only in oneshots, so that skill is not new to me. But do I really just put Blorbo and Blorbecita in this 20-step formula and get a long fic out of it? That people will read? It can’t be that simple, can it?
(Please don’t tell me romancing the beat is satire. I'll die of embarrassment if it turns out to be satire. Please don’t be satire)
--
I find most of those plot structure books laughable though not satire.
I haven't read Romancing the Beat in years, but I remember it being more or less sound. The issue is that all books in this genre are taking something that good writers understand instinctively and making it a canned formula for those who don't.
This is an excellent way to structure your revisions when you have a draft but something isn't quite working. It's often a good way to analyze someone else's story that you already like and think works. It's a much less good way to write in the first place.
It might work for you, but trying to figure out which bit of your proposed plotline goes in this or that formal category in three act structure or Romancing the Beat's structure or whatever is often difficult and pointless.
How To Structure Your Novel and/or How to Actually Finish A Draft are very popular and lucrative genres of nonfiction writing. Tons of people want to write long things but keep failing to. They will spend plenty of money on products that purport to be the magic bullet that will get them there. That doesn't make the book bad, but just... you know... keep that context in mind.
In my experience, all of the books of this type sound decent and can probably help you grind through a long thing with somewhat less likelihood of giving up, but I usually look at my outline that I instinctively know works and at the canned formula I'm supposed to awkwardly shoehorn my outline into and decide it's more trouble than it's worth.
And no, I don't think that youtube video on the four types of writers is accurate either. These formal structures don't suck because I'm the instinctive type instead of whatever the other one was. They suck because they're simplistic lenses applied after the fact rather than a truly accurate description of why plots in fun books work. To make the structure, they've had to flatten and ignore on the same level as Joseph "the sexist, racist hack" Campbell's hero's journey does.
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It's Been Calling Me
Main Masterlist
Read on A03!
Tags: Bucky Barnes/Female Reader, light angst, shameless smut (oral f receiving, p in v sex), fluff, soulmates, dreams, told over many years, no use of y/n
Summary/Warnings: You've had these… dreams. Strange, realistic, detailed dreams of the same man, almost your whole life. But they're just dreams. You've been so sure, for so long, that they're just dreams.
So sure, until you're not.
Author's Note: I love this one. I love using fake Marvel science logic. I love putting sad men in situations where they can't escape love. I love semi-linear storytelling. Enjoy!
Word Count: 10.9k
“I get… dreams.” You mumble, staring at an odd point over Dr. Raynor’s head. It’s always better than looking her in the eyes. “They’re weird.”
“The very nature of dreams is to be strange.” You can see the shrug of Raynor’s shoulders, hear the neural expression that must be on her face. “Although if you feel they’re worthy of note-“
“They are.”
Raynor hums. She’s probably raising her brows. You still won’t look.
“You sound quite certain of that.”
“I am.” You tuck your knees up to your chest, frowning at the air. “It’s- They’re not new.”
“Ah.” Raynor pauses, then says your name. In the gentle but firm therapist way that you really hate. It makes you feel like a child. “This conversation may be easier if you would look at me.”
“No thanks, I’m-“
She says your name again. A little harsher. “We’ve discussed this. You’re here of your own volition-“
“That’s not true.” You mutter. “Court-ordered isn’t volition.”
“Well you could’ve chosen the inpatient ward.” Raynor’s shrugging again. “Look at me.”
You let out a long breath, and meet her gaze. You’d been right. She was raising her brows.
“Good work.” She gives you a tight-lipped smile and small nod of approval. “Tell me about these dreams.”
It takes a minute to find the words. Not because you don’t have them, but because you’d never expected to use them. You’ve rehearsed them in the mirror a million times, but they always sounded insane, and you didn’t need another reason to be called crazy.
“I’ve had them my whole life.” It’s easiest to start there. “But it’s- they’ve changed. Over time.”
“Changed how?”
“It’s hard to explain-“
“Try.”
You scowl. “I am trying, Christina, but there’s kind of a lot to say-“
Raynor sighs, giving you the patented look of disapproval that you might hate more than how she says your name. “How about telling me when they started. Is that do-able?”
It takes a long, deep breath, but you nod. “I was- I think I was ten. I fell asleep, and it was the first dream I’d ever had. The first one that I remembered when I woke up. It was…” You swallow, and there’s a sting in your nails as you rip more skin away. “Really vivid.”
——
This isn’t your body. It’s too big, too tall, and you’re not nearly strong enough to rip a door off its hinges. This body is sprinting across ice without ever breaking pace or falling flat with a crunch. You can’t even walk up stairs without tripping over thin air.
But this doesn’t really feel like a body at all. It feels like a shell, or tool. Hollow and pressed down, moving so mechanically you’d think it was a machine if you couldn’t hear its heartbeat in your ears. There’s a lot of pain in it. Strangely numb pain, as if the owner of this body doesn’t allow himself to dwell on it, shuttering it off to the side as he moves.
You’re pretty sure it's a he. There’s hair in your eyes, but men can have long hair, and when the body’s arms swing into view they’re big and muscular. You’re also pretty sure there’s something between your legs that wasn’t there when you went to sleep.
And you can feel him. Very, very deep in your head, he’s bellowing and scraping at his own scalp. He feels like a caged animal, but this is his body. He’s roaring things that are more like feral sounds than actual words, and every time he gets loud enough for you to make out a real voice something clamps down on your skull—his skull—and it all goes quiet.
You can see another man in your line of vision. He’s on his knees, trembling and begging, but the noise is muffled and static. As if there’s a filter pushing anything coherent out of your head.
A gloved fist that’s attached to your body—but not yours to control—reaches out and grabs the man by his throat. It squeezes.
He’s desperate. Locked down and furious, the ‘he’ who you’re possessing is almost pleading with himself to stop.
But he doesn’t.
And there’s a sickening snap that will echo in your ears for a long time after you wake up.
——
Raynor’s looking at you like you’re insane. You don’t love it.
“Did you…” She pauses, scanning over you with a small frown. “Did you see the hand?”
You blink at her. “Yeah, I just said-“
“Without the glove.” She clarifies. “The one that snapped the man’s neck. Did you ever see it without the glove.”
It’s an oddly specific question. And she seems to be looking for a certain answer, because in all your time of working with Raynor she’s never looked so obviously invested in a story.
“Not for a while.” You keep your words slow, watching her wearily. “He always wore the gloves. And when he didn’t, he wouldn’t look at his hands-“
Raynor frowns. “So how did you know he wasn’t wearing the gloves?”
“Because he knew.” You shrug. “I lived in his brain like, every night.”
“Every-“
“Night, yeah. That’s what I fucking said.”
Raynor hums, and you think she’s going to grab the notebook to write something along the lines of patient has lost her goddamn mind, but she just keeps staring at you. “You said you didn’t see the hand for a while. When did you see it?”
“When I was sixteen. The first time the dreams changed.”
“Changed from-“
“Being in his head.” You pull your lip between your teeth, weighing how much you want to reveal. Too much feels like a violation of his privacy, even if they’re your dreams. He’s a private guy, it took you years to get him to tell you anything, and if you’ve realized turns out to be the truth, you don’t want to ruin anything. “It’s- it was about six years of seeing everything through his eyes-“
“Everything?”
You wish Raynor would stop saying the word every like that. Like it’s a lie.
“All the murders.” You mutter. “There were a lot of murders.”
Raynor nods for you to continue, and you have to take a long, steadying breath.
“One night I went to sleep and he was… attacking some blond guy. We couldn’t really see his face. Then I fell asleep the next night, and it was different.”
——
You can see him. You’ve never seen him before.
He’d never looked in a mirror, or described himself in his head for you like he’s a Wattpad character. He’s only ever been a body that moves out of your will, and a pained voice deep in your brain that didn’t seemed thrilled with what was happening either.
But you’re not in his head, or his body. You’re standing in a bathroom—in your own body, wearing the same clothing you’d been wearing when you’d crawled into bed—and looking at him.
He’s a lot more attractive than you’d anticipated. And you’d anticipated attractive. You’d built an image in your head of your imaginary dream assassin, basing it purely on a level of hotness that would justify all the murders he’d been up to. It had been a little fucked up, but you’d also been so goddamn sure he wasn’t real. That this was just a really odd and worrying coping mechanism for all the messed up shit in your real life.
But he seems pretty fucking real right now. And almost impossibly handsome. Strong features that look like they’d been carved from marble, an almost hulking frame that’s somehow bigger when you’re looking at it from outside, and tangled, greasy hair that’s really working with the whole tortured expression on his face.
Because he does not look okay.
He’s gripping the sink and glowering at himself, scanning over his own face like he recognizes it less than you do. He’s bent like there’s a weight on his shoulders he doesn’t know how to shake off, and that’s impressive, because you’ve seen him pick up a car.
The porcelain of the sink cracks, and he flinches back, looking between his hands and the rubble with wide eyes.
His eyes are blue. A really pretty blue. You’d always thought blue eyes were overrated—big whoop, you’re more sensitive to light—but there’s something silver in this man’s eyes that you really love. It feels like a deep storm you’d like to chase.
He’s really pretty.
He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would like being called pretty, but he is. In a natural and powerful way. Like something heavenly that’s burned through the atmosphere in a dreadful fall.
Pretty face, pretty eyes, pretty hands-
Metal hand.
One metal hand.
——
Raynor looks worried now. You wish she’d go back to thinking you’re just batshit crazy.
“Do you-” she clears her throat, sitting a little taller in her chair. “His name. Did you ever learn his name?”
It’s your turn to raise your brows. “Does that matter?”
“Yes.”
It’s a flat, tense answer. It makes something coil in your throat.
“I-“ You rub your own calves, soothing yourself in the careful way you’ve always practiced. “I didn’t, for a while-“
Raynor says your name, her tone short and clipped. “Stop telling me something didn’t happen for a while. If I ask a question, it’s because I need to know the answer. Not the buildup.”
You frown. “Need to know?”
“It’s…” Raynor sighs. “It is very important that you give me a name.”
“Why?”
“Therapist reasons.”
You give her a flat look. “That’s not a real thing.”
“Yes, it is. Name.”
“If you need the name,” you say, raising your chin slightly. “You have to sit through my for a while.”
Raynor gives you a look of disbelief, shaking her head and muttering something that sounds like God, I can’t take two of them, before raising her voice. “Fine. What was for a while.”
“I couldn’t talk to him.” You explain. “For like, two years after I got out of his brain, he still couldn’t see me. When I tried to talk to him it was like I was in a- sort of a one-way mirror? And it’s not like he was just walking around telling the air I’m Bucky-“
“Bucky?” Raynor looks downright distressed. “His name was-“
“It’s Bucky.”
He still is. He’s not a was, Bucky is.
That’s part of the problem.
“And how-“ Raynor swallows. “How did you learn this?”
“He told me.”
——
This is new. You’re not on a street or in a half-empty apartment—the two places you’ve grown most accustomed to seeing in your sleep—but in a field. A very big field with huts and brush and goats.
There are a truly staggering amount of goats.
And there he is. His hair isn’t greasy and unkempt anymore, but looks almost soft, pulled back in a half-up half-down situation that makes him look clean. His metal arm is gone, but he doesn’t seem that bothered by it. He’s standing taller than before, like the weight you’ve grown used to seeing finally has begun to lift.
His outfit is new too. It looks like something traditional and well-made, rather than the off-brand baseball hats—you too are a big fan of the American baseball team, the ‘Doggers’—and shitty polyester t-shirts.
You’re taking him and scenery in, trying to place where your brain could’ve possibly taken you this time, when he does something you’d never expected.
He turns and looks at you.
Not through you. Not around you. Not in your general direction.
At you.
He can fucking see you.
“Hello?”
You’ve heard him speak before, a few times. His voice has always been low and gruff and heavy.
It’s smooth and richer now. You don’t know if that’s because it’s directed at you—setting off small sparks over your ribs—or in relation to that vanished weight, but you like it. It suits him better.
“Hi.” You whisper, your body frozen in place as he moves forward.
He’s right in front of you. Staring at you.
He’s always gotten prettier every time you’ve seen him. This is different.
This is knocking the air out of your lungs with just the sight of him, because there’s a light in his eyes you’ve never seen before, and it makes something deep inside of you glow.
“I’m, uh, I’m Bucky.”
He holds out his hand, and you tilt your head at him.
“That’s a weird name.”
He blinks at you, his hand still frozen in the air. “I guess, yeah. Never thought about it. It’s just a nickname.”
“Oh.” That makes more sense. “Sorry. That’s- I just never thought you as- never mind.”
Bucky frowns at you, opening his mouth—likely ask you what you mean by that—but you say your name and shake his hand because he gets the chance.
He has a nice hand. It warm, and calloused, and fits really well in yours.
“Why can you see me?” You blurt, and there goes any pretense of containing the truth.
Bucky frowns at you. “Should I… Not be able to see you?”
“You’ve never seen me before.”
“Before? What do you mean-“
“It’s- It’s weird. And complicated.”
He just stares at you, waiting for you to continue.
You’re holding his gaze. You’ve never held anyone’s gaze before.
It’s kind of electrifying.
“I’ve dreamt about you before.” You mumble. “And you’ve never seen me.”
“About me?”
He doesn’t sound like he believes you. You get that. It’s not really a reasonable or believable statement.
“Yeah. But you had two arms. And there weren’t goats.”
Bucky nods slowly, and seems to reach a conclusion in his brain that you don’t get to be privy to.
It’s enough for him though. Because he gives you a small, almost nervous and apologetic smile.
“Do you wanna, uh, do you wanna meet the goats?”
You blink at him. You’d expected more questions, or some doubt. But he’s just looking at you, something in his pretty blue eyes almost hopeful.
“Are they...” You trail off, glancing at the goats over his shoulder. “Your goats?”
“They’re community goats.” He shrugs. “But Shuri says connection with life will help my recovery, and I don’t really want to connect with people.” His voice lowers, and it sounds like he’s mostly talking to himself. “They don’t really like connecting with me.”
You don’t know who the fuck Shuri is, but you nod anyway. “So goats?”
He gives you another odd look, like he’d expected you to say something else.
“Yeah. Goats.”
“Did you name them?”
He frowns. “They’re goats. They don’t need names.”
You click your tongue, shaking your head. “Wrong. Everything needs a name. I named my car, and my phone.”
“You named your phone?”
“Yep.” You grin at him, and it’s a wide, teasing grin you haven’t given anyone in years. “Bertha.”
“That’s…” Bucky’s still staring at you–he seems to do that a lot—but there’s something like amusement in his eyes. “Bertha is not a good name.”
“Better than Bucky.”
He chuckles at that, and it’s a beautiful sound. Deep and heavy, like a bass drum in your chest.
It’s the sort of thing that could be addicting, if you’re not careful. Worse, it’s the sort of thing you wouldn’t mind being addicted to.
“You’re kinda mean, doll.”
“Yep.” You shrug, ignoring how ‘doll’ makes you feel fuzzy in your gut. “And I’ll be meaner if you don’t let me name your goats.”
He hums, scanning you over with an intensity in his eyes that reminds you of that storm you’d see all those years ago in the bathroom. This time, you’d like to do a little more than chase it.
You think it could be really easy to get wrecked by it.
“Will you come back if I let you name them?”
He keeps saying things you don’t expect. Of course you’ll come back. You don’t have a choice.
But you nod, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Only if you promise to actually use the names.”
He nods, giving you another smile. “Deal.”
———
“Did you ever learn his last name?”
You shake your head. “I never asked. He mentioned his real name was James at one point, but then I asked why he was called ‘Bucky’ and we got off topic.”
“One… point?” Raynor’s words are slow, and you’ve really never seen her looked lost like this before. You’d be proud of yourself if it wasn’t a bad sign. “Exactly how frequently did these dreams occur?”
———
“You’re back!”
Bucky looks genuinely happy to see you. He does every night. The same surprised joy in his voice, shock always written over his face like it’s truly odd and lovely to see you here.
Like you’re not here every night, for three to four hours, standing in his little hut and wandering the fields.
You’ve worked out that you’ve put him in Africa. Wakanda specifically, likely because you’d seen it all over the news and it seemed pretty interesting. Shuri was the princess, and the guy T’challa Bucky had mentioned a few times was the King. You’d almost certainly heard their names during all those UN conferences—the ones you put on in the background just to hear some noise that wasn’t ringing in your ears—and your brain had just decided to run with it.
At least, you think it’s just your brain. You’ve always assumed this was all in your brain, because this feels like the exact kind of fucked up shit your brain would pull. And Bucky never aged. He’d never really changed, for six years. He’d had just been another way to cope for the longest time, but now—as you actually get to know him—he seems dangerously like a real person.
He looks like he broods less than when you see him hunched over a toilet or glowering at his reflection in a window. His appearance has started to shift in a way it never really had.
The metal arm has permanently departed. He seems fond of keeping his hair out of eyes, and his wardrobe finally has diversity. He talks to you, and he has a personality. An adorable, grumpy, endearing personality that would play into your idea of ‘made up in your brain’ if he couldn’t be so annoying.
He stares. He grunts a lot. He doesn’t get any of your references. If you made up an imaginary dream man to feel more loved, he would like all the things you like and hate all the things you hate.
But he doesn’t.
And it always draws you in further, because he truly does seem like just a perfectly insufferable asshole.
That’s cruel. He’d been right. You could be mean.
He never seemed to mind.
And he’s more like a dog anyway. One that escaped the pound and follows you around, not even bothering to beg for scraps because you offer them with a grin.
You like his company. You like his voice. You like that he’s annoying and you like more that it’s your exact type of annoying.
You like that he’s really fucking hot, and get hotter every time you visit.
You mostly just like him.
“Of course I’m back.” You shrug, kicking a rock with the tip of your foot, watching it bounce through the dirt. “I’m always back.”
“Yeah. So far.” You see Bucky shrug in your periphery, and when you look up, he’s staring again. “Could change.”
“Won’t change.” You counter, giving him a pointed look. “Sorry, Buck. You’re stuck here until I die.”
That’s the first time you’ve called him Buck. He tenses for a moment, seems to shake something physically off his body, and nods slowly.
“Should I be worried about you dying?”
“Not right now, no.” You hum. Another rock gets kicked. “Death doesn’t agree with me.”
He chuckles. “Don’t think it agrees with anyone, doll-“
“Shut up.” Third rock. This one hits a goat, and you cringe slightly. “Shit. Sorry, Bubble McBubbleface-“
“Bubs will be.” Bucky rolls his eyes, moving to your side. He’s standing really close. You can almost feel a phantom heat from his body. “And I still can’t believe you talked me into that name. I had to tell the king of the damn country that his goat was named Bubble McBubbleface.”
You giggle, and Bucky shoots you a glare.
“You think that’s funny? I had to like pretend it was my idea,” he grumbles your name, and you always like how he says it. Like it’s some sort of answer. “I had to look the council of elders in the eyes and tell them that Bubble McBubbleface got Lady Gaga pregnant-“
Your eyes widen. “You let the goats get pregnant?”
“Course I let them get pregnant, doll.”
“But-“
He gives you a dry, amused look. “Would you rather I interfere? You want me to cockblock Bubs?”
You blink at him. “You know what cockblock means?”
Your brain had given him the personality of an eighty-year-old man. You don’t know why, but you stopped asking questions like “why” and “what” a long time ago. You just know that he shouldn’t know what cockblock means, for consistency.
“Of course I know what it means. You taught it to me.” He winks at you, and you’re pretty sure you’re flushing.
This is meant to be a dream. You shouldn’t be able to flush, or feel a little flutter and hum in your heart, or something molten in your gut when he leans a little further forward to grin down at you.
This seems less like a dream every night.
You’d be worried about that if you had the energy, or foresight, or care.
“Are goats births gross?” You ask, and he chuckles again. The sound has started to inflict a sort of high on your brain, and every color in this dreamworld seems brighter.
“They’re fucking disgusting.” He leans a little further down. You have to stare at his nose to pretend the proximity isn’t going to make your fall over. “But if you let me show you one in here, I’ll let you name the babies out there.”
You nod kind of stupidly, the whole world shifts into a barn—goat births are disgusting, but Bucky gets a look of intense focus you’d like to see re-aimed in your direction—and four months later Bucky tells you little Oz The Great and Powerful, Donald Duck, and Pants McPantsface have been welcomed into the world.
———
“So you’d see him in… Wakanda.” Raynor takes another long breath. If you didn’t think it would make everything worse, you’d tell her to try some deep breathing exercises. “Did the location ever change? Did you witness any more of those murders from before?”
You feel something spark in your chest like an electric wire, and you sit a little taller. You haven’t seen Bucky kill anyone since you’d been trapped in his brain. He’s a good man. And, as far as Raynor knows, a figment of your imagination. She has no right to fucking imply-
“It’s important that I know,” she says slowly, and you think your oddly blinding and righteous anger had been painted all over your face. “So I better understand what’s been happening to you. Please,” she says your name, leaning somehow further forward in her seat. “Answer my questions.”
You nod, letting out a slow exhale. “No murders. But he did start coming into my brain.”
Raynor frowns at you. “Was he not always-“
“Not like this.”
———
“This is new.”
You whip around, taking a stumbling step back that would’ve landed you on the floor, had Bucky not looped his one arm around your waist.
“Hey, doll. Pleasure seeing you-“ He frowns, glancing around your apartment. “Where the hell am I?”
You don’t answer, only reaching up to touch his face. His beard is soft. His hair is softer. When you trace the line of his nose it does feel like a nose, and when you poke his cheek it seems pretty cheek-like-
“What, uh,” Bucky say your name, scanning over your face with concern. “What’s happening here.”
“You’re not supposed to be here.” You whisper, poking his cheek again. Just to be sure. “You’ve never been here before.”
“Yeah, figured that one out myself-“
“No.” You shake your head, placing one hand on his chest. It fits well there, slotting right over muscle and warm skin. Every part of him seems to fit perfectly against you, and you’ve never been this close before, but you don’t have any urge to move away. “You don’t get it, Bucky. You’ve never been here. It’s been ten years, and you’ve never been here.”
“I know, doll. Doesn’t seem like there’s much to-“ He pauses, giving you an odd look. “Ten years?”
“Yeah.” You mumble. There’s not much else to say.
He just stares at you, and shakes his head slightly. “Huh. You gonna tell me where I am?”
“My apartment.”
“Your-“ He starts slightly, but you never shake in his arms. “You live in this place?”
You nod, and he pulls you to your feet, scanning over your home.
The silence wraps around your heart and lungs, and the room is spinning slightly. You’re asleep. You’re pretty fucking sure you’re asleep. You locked the door, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed, so you’re asleep. Bucky’s never been here before, but he’s not really here because this is a dream and he’s not real.
You think.
You wouldn’t bet on that anymore, though.
And nothing has ever been as important as Bucky liking your room, because the longer he just scans over the space around you the more your skin heats, the more your eyes blur, the more your throat constricts and your heart aches and pounds-
“It’s very… you.” He finally says, and every bit of nerve vanishes into the air.
He’s right. You’ve been very deliberate in making sure your home is yours.
And you’re not sure why you bothered worrying at all. He fits here, just as well as he fits in every other part of you.
“Can I get the grand tour?” He raises his brows, and you nod, leading him through your space, making jokes and feeling your heart do a little flip and spin whenever he chuckles.
And things always do change. Frequently out in the real world, and carefully and easily in here.
And at least with Bucky, the change seems adaptive. You grow, he grows with you, until you’re twined and rooted into each other, and every color in this dreamscape is so vivid it’s the only thing that still tells you:
None of this is real.
———
“It was split after that.” You say. ”Half the dreams in Wakanda, half in New York.”
You’re watching Raynor carefully. Still on the edge of her seat, legs braced like she’s ready for a fight, a tight expression on her face that Bucky calls the moose in headlights expression.
———
“You got that moose expression again, doll.”
You frown at him. “Stop calling it that, it’s just my face-“
“No. Your normal face has a dimple here, and your brows rest like that.”
He’s touching you as he explains, moving your features to match his words. You’d smack his hand away if his touch wasn’t soothing and flaring all at once. If you didn’t really love the idea of him looking at you long enough to know exactly how to adjust your face, and how to be right about it.
“But it’s not like that now.” He finishes, giving you a pointed look. “You got moose-face.”
You wrinkle your nose at him. “Moose-face is worse, Bucky. And it’s still not a real thing-“
“Yeah it is. Most people got a moose face.” He shrugs. He’s staring again. It’s taking a lot of effort not to melt forward into him. “Tight expression. Like a deer in headlights, but they think they’re too good to be in the headlights. They’re gonna go down fighting.”
“Oh.” You tilt your head, giving him a sickly-sweet smile. “Can I see your moose face?”
“I don’t have a moose face-“
“Liar.” You poke his ribs, narrowing your eyes. “You said everyone has one-“
“I said ‘most people.’” Bucky shrugs. “Moose face means you’re gonna get hit, you just don’t believe it yet. I know how to not get hit.”
“Sounds like something someone with a moose-face would say.”
He chuckles. You’re sitting down, and you’re going to fall over. “No luck, doll. I got other faces, but no moose face.” He frowns at the air. “Never could afford to have one.”
There’s suddenly something heavier in his eyes, and it makes your whole body feel wired and heavy. It’s suffocating and crushing and rotten, and it’s just an expression but everything feels worse when you see it—when his shoulders hunch and his face becomes set like stone, just like all those years ago in the bathroom—so it needs to stop right now.
“What about a wolf face?”
Bucky blinks at you. “What.”
“You said no moose face.” You cross your arms, raising your chin slightly. “Do you have a wolf face?”
“I don’t know what that is-“
“So suddenly you’re the only one who’s allowed to make up expressions?”
You hold is gaze for a long second—you’ve gotten really good at doing that, but only when you’re dreaming of Bucky—until his lips twitch slightly.
And everything feels alright again.
———
“How much of New York appeared in your… dreams? Was is like Wakanda, where you wandered?”
You frown at the air. Raynor’s indulging in this, but not like you’d hoped. Not shutting you down or telling you that you’re crazy. You’d really hoped to hear some validation that you were just plain crazy.
“Not really. I mean, there was one night where we were at my job, a few at the coffee shop I usually go to, and maybe like, five at the park, but we were mostly my apartment when I was showing him stuff.”
“And what did you-“ Raynor’s whole body tenses, and the last part of her question is pushed through her teeth. “What did you show Bucky?”
You flush, your gaze dropping down to your hands. “Stuff. In my apartment.”
———
You don’t know exactly what gives. What straw completely desolates every single bone in your body, and ends with you here.
Maybe it was that you’d finally mentioned all the murders, and you’d never seem him look horrified before, but the sight has dislodged something along your ribs that hadn’t mended until he let you move his head to your lap. Stroking his hair as he stared at you, telling him about your day.
Maybe it’s that you always tell him about your day. That this—whatever this is—has shifted from trading teasing comments and trying to learn about each other, into pure and comfortable understanding, and now that’s how most nights are spent.
Bucky’s reports are short. The goats are being goats—that’s all they know how to do—he doesn’t like a song someone tried to make him listen to because it’s too loud, and Shuri brought him some food that made his face feel like it was going to fall off, but in a good way. You pretty sure he only gives them because you insist upon it, but he always puffs out his chest a little at the end, when you smile at him and start to tell him everything you can remember about your own day.
Maybe it’s how he always hangs onto your every word. Like it’s gospel or scripture, and to do anything but listen and watch would be a higher sin than any blood you’ve imagined on his hands.
And maybe that’s it.
Maybe it’s how you really don’t believe it anymore, when you remind yourself that he’s not real. That he’s just a figment of your mind, manifested to evolve as you do and always be exactly what you need.
You still tell yourself the lie, night after night.
But you’re certain it’s a lie. That Bucky is just like that. Meant to be here, with you, the exact same way you’re supposed to be wherever he is.
And now you’re here.
You’d started it. You’d slammed your mouth to his, and he hadn’t moved. There had been a brief moment where you’d been worried you’d made a mistake, but the second you’d tried to push back on his chest and apologize, he’d kicked into gear.
And wet dreams are supposed to be hazy. Cast in a misting light and more of a halo that brings your body high than an actual, nameable feeling.
But you can really feel this.
And it’s heaven.
You’d expected Bucky to kiss slowly. Deliberately. It’s how you’d always seen him move and speak, and you hadn’t been against the idea of being kissed in a methodical and careful way.
You’ve never been happier to be wrong.
Bucky kisses you like you’re air and water and every good thing in the world. All passion and spit and burning desire, where you can feel every bit of want in his movements. His mouth is demanding as he traces his tongue over your teeth and groans your name down your throat, his arm snaking around your waist to hold you steady against his chest. When his knee presses between your thighs you have to wrap your arms around his neck for balance, and it’s all you can do to return ever bit of want he throws at you as he walks to backwards to your mattress.
It takes effort to pry your mouth from Bucky’s. He doesn’t want you to go, even a few inches, and when you start to palm him through his pants—smiling against his lips and squeezing his bulge in a silent request—he hisses against your lips.
“You-“ He groans, nipping at your lower lip as you smile, repeating the movement. “You don’t- Shit, doll, you don’t know what you’re doing to me-“
You hum, bumping your nose with his and swaying in his hold. “Maybe. I’d like to do more.”
Bucky chuckles, and the sound rolls right into your core. “Think you could take more, sweetheart? Cause I’ve been a gentleman, but if more is on the table-“
It’s easy to cut him off with a heavy, deep kiss that has him half growling down your throat and his hips jerking against your movements.
“Want more.” You whisper, combing your free hand through his hair and trying to pull yourself impossibly closer. “Want you.”
Bucky tenses against you, and when you lean back to meet his eyes he’s staring again. Looking at you like you’re glowing, kneading your skin under his hand like he’s checking that you’re not going to vanish.
“You want me.” He mutters, scanning over your flushed face. “You sure about-“
“Yes.” You nod, giving him a small, soft smile. “Only if you do, obviou-“
Bucky cuts you off with another bruising kiss, and before you know what’s happening he’s lowering you onto the mattress, kneeling between your legs, and shoving your thighs apart with a wolf-like grin.
You don’t know when you ended up naked. You can’t really care though, because Bucky shoves his face right into your pussy, and your mind empties of all thoughts that aren’t his name.
It’s another point in favor of this being a dream. Bucky’s mouth against your cunt feels so amazingly real—licking and biting and eating you out like he’s been starved for a hundred years—but this has to be a dream, because no real man has ever made you feel this good. He knows every single way the plunge his tongue in and out of your pussy until you’re squeezing your thighs around his head and tugging at his hair, and his beard scrapes and tickles at your thighs in a way that’s driving you out of your mind, and fuck, he keeps moving his attention to nip at your clit, sucking it between his lips and letting his teeth graze against you, and-
“Bucky-“ You moan, grinding shameless into his face, trying hopelessly to remain upright with one hand, your fingers fisted into the sheets below you. “Please- I’m gonna- Fuck, I’m so close-“
He growls against you, flatting his tongue against your clit and squeezing his hand on your thigh, and that does it. You cum with a scream of his name, warmth washing over your body as your knees clamp around him and your eyes roll back in your head.
He’s ruined you. All Bucky did was eat you out in a dream, and you’re panting and flushed and drunk on him. You don’t know how you’ll manage to move on from this in real life.
You don’t really care. Not as Bucky runs his hand over your dripping, fluttering cunt with a look of open awe on his face, presses a kiss right over your clit that makes your hips jerk, and moves to his feet.
He’s naked now too.
And he’s perfect.
His cock is big and thick, standing at proud attention and jerking slightly as you run a hand up his thighs, your fingers trailing over his balls and a little drool falling out of your lips as you lean to take him in your mouth-
Bucky’s hand tangles in your hair, pulling you back to meet his eyes.
He looks just as wrecked as you feel. Chest heaving and eyes blown with lust. You’re going to lose your mind.
“Bucky-“
“Not now.” He mutters, pulling you a little further back. “Need to be inside of you, doll. Please.”
You’d have to be insane to say no.
You crawl back on the mattress, spreading your legs in silence invitation, and something hot and powerful flashes in his eyes as he takes you in.
“You-“
“I’m sure.” You squirm in the sheets, running your hand between your legs and starting to rub your clit in slow, strong circles. “God, I’m so fucking sure, please-“
He’s shockingly fast for such a large man. It might be the whole dream thing, but you barely register him moving to kneel over you, swatting your hand away with a darkened gaze a set jaw.
“I do that,” he grunts, running two fingers up and down your cunt, smirking at you high whine. “Legs open, doll, want to see how wet I’m making you.”
You nod, falling flat on your back, and pour all your focus into his order. “Fuck, Bucky-“ He shoves the fingers into your pussy, and your back arches off the bed. “Shit- I- Please-“
“You want my cock?” He drawls your name, and you can only nod dumbly at the ceiling. “Come on, tell me you want it-“
“Want it,” you gasp, hugging your body as he starts to pump his finger, crooking them at the exact right spot deep inside of you. “Fuck, Bucky, you said- You said you’d fuck me-“
He clicks his tongue. “I said I’d be inside of you-“
“But- But I want you to fuck me.” You start to roll your hips as his pace picks up. “Please, Bucky-“
You whine as his fingers vanish, leaving you clenching around only the air, but it’s a short-lived pain.
Bucky slams into you with one thrust, and you’d been wrong again.
He hadn’t ruined you. He’s destroyed you.
You’ve never been so full in your life. You’ve never been fucked like this in your life. With a fervor that should be painful, but just makes you feel wanted. Cared for. Bucky’s every thrust is brutal and rough, and his mouth on yours is that same feral kiss from before, but he’s pressed his body over yours like he’s trying to shield you from the world, and he’s groaning your name down your throat like it’s a hymn.
You’d say his name too, if you could remember how to speak. But Bucky’s hitting every right spot deep in your pussy, and you’re so high the world is just color and light and Bucky, and when he starts to suck and kiss a line down your throat, along your collarbone, and over your tits, you’re sure you’re going to fly out of your skin.
Then he takes your nipple into his mouth, and the sound you make is almost inhuman. Your release crashes over you like a wave, Bucky groans against your breast as you squeeze around his cock, and a burning warmth coats your thighs and cunt as he cums with a roar.
You make a small noise of content as Bucky pulls out, kissing a soft line back up your jaw before dropping his brow to yours and letting out a long, slow breath.
“That was…” He trails off, moving his hand to hold your hips, drawing firm patterns with his thumb that might drive you out of your mind.
“Yeah.” You whisper. “It was.”
He nods, and neither of you move for a really long time. Usually you’ve woken up by now, but no part of you is eager to go, eager to leave where there’s still a little buzz in your heart from the pleasure, where you can feel a perfect ache between your legs and you’re so happily trapped under the warmth of Bucky’s body-
Happy.
You’re happy.
This isn’t real, but under Bucky’s body you’re safe and warm and happy. And you don’t want to go.
Almost as if he can read your mind, Bucky clears his throat.
“Thank you.” He mutters, his breath hot and soft over your ear. “Needed this.” There a long pause, and his hand squeezes on your hips. “Needed you. And I know it’s dumb to thank you, because-“
“It’s not.” You cut him off with a kiss to his neck, rubbing your hand up and down his back. “And I needed you too.”
He lets out a dry laugh that you don’t understand, but doesn’t push on it. Just kisses your brow and rolls onto his back, taking you with him and clinging to you like you’re a tether to something a little more important than just a dream.
And you really don’t know why he’d laughed.
You do need him. You’re growing more and more certain every night that you need Bucky more than you need anything in real life. That he’s more than anyone else, and that he maybe, possibly, could be real.
He feels real, beneath you with a calloused hand squeezing at your skin and your finger tracing over the scars near his arm.
He sounds real, when you finally ask why he only has one arm, and he takes a very long breath but mutters that he fell off a train. When he tells you that bad people found him, and he wasn’t really the best guy either, for a really long time.
He tastes real when you kiss him for comfort, and smells real when you bury your face in his neck as he continues.
You know he’s not telling you everything, but you also know he’s not lying.
And you really do know that, in some strange and impossible way, this might be real.
———
“I see.” Raynor swallows, and she won’t stop staring at you. “Did those, ah, occurrences happen again?”
You nod, staring at your hands. “Pretty much every time after.” A smile tugs at your lips. “One time we used the barn.”
“I-“ Raynor sighs. “Understood. How long, exactly, did this continue?”
“They never stopped, not until-“ Your nails dig into your skin, and a heavy stone lodges itself in your throat. “The, uh, the blip.”
———
These have been the worst five years of your life. And they haven’t been amazing for anyone, but no one else has to feel this like you do.
And that’s selfish. A little narcissistic. Incredibly crude.
But it doesn’t make it any less true.
Because everyone lost people. Everyone watched loved ones vanish right in front of them, witnessed the world fall and crumble around them as half of humanity vanished, and got left in the rubble to pick up the pieces.
But no one else seems to feel this. Nobody else seems to be falling apart at the seams from nothing at all like you are. Because Bucky was probably never real. But he’s gone.
And you don’t know how to move on.
It’s odd to grieve a dream. It makes living impossible. You go to all the support groups and listen to everyone share their own pain, and it makes your heart ache for them but nothing in you ever seems to heal. It’s as if a piece of you had been ripped out and ground to ash, and mending over it would be blasphemous. You don’t want to fix it. You need to, because this is no way to exist, but it feels wrong every time you try. As if even your body can’t just admit he’s gone, and you need to keep going. But everything feels artificial. Every breath is mechanical, and every beat of your heart feels shallow and deliberate, like it’s only doing just enough to keep you alive.
What’s worse is that you can’t tell anyone why you’ve become a sunken, hollow shell. You’d sound insane. You’re already not winning any points in the sound of mind department, and you do have a record, so if you went to one of the countless therapists who have been making their living off of everyone’s loss and said ‘see, doctor, the person I loved only existed in my dreams, but he vanished with the snap and now it feels like I’ve been cleaved in half’, you’d be locked up in an asylum.
You hate that you’re only realizing it now. That the overwhelming sense of warmth and peace you felt in your dreams with Bucky was love. That you’d fallen in love with a piece of your own mind. You’d basically fallen in love with your reflection. Your annoying, handsome, grumpy reflection that you’d rip your spine out of your body to reshape it back into his form, to bring him back to your side.
And the dreams still happen. He’s just not there, and it’s the worst thing in the fucking universe. You keep coming back to a forest, and there’s a little ash that’s always drifting around in the air, that feels really important.
It all always feels like more than just Bucky being gone. It feels like you’ve missed a train, or taken a wrong turn, and lost a key that double as a compass, and now you’re stranded at the bottom of the ocean.
Alone.
You’ve spent your whole life with only yourself to rely on, but you’ve never felt more alone.
———
“And after the blip?”
“He came back.” You’re going to cry. You really hate crying in front of Raynor—she always tells you it’s going to be okay, and you fucking know that—but you can’t stop it. Because Bucky really did come back, and it’s still the best thing that ever happened to you.
———
During the past five years, your sleep has gotten fucked. You get about four hours a night, because that’s just long enough to keep you functional but too short to allow you to appear in the forest.
So it took a while to pass out. You’d curled up in your bed, drank tea, done yoga, followed every ‘how to fall asleep fast’ internet guide until your eyes drooped, and you were gone.
When the dream takes shape around you, you’re not in the forest, but in a sleek, hospital-like room that you don’t recognize.
And he’s there.
Bucky’s right fucking there.
You make a small, choked sound, and his eyes shoot to yours in an instant.
He’s moving in a second. Half launching across the room to grab you before your knees give out, holding you to his chest as you cling to his shirt and press your face into his neck.
“Hey,” he mutters your name, and you can hear the low horror in it. He’s putting together why you’re crying. Why you’re scratching at his neck and trying to half climb up his body. “You’re alright. It’s all good, doll, everything’s good now-“
You cut him off with a long, heavy kiss, and his hand moves to cup your head.
He has two hands again. You don’t really care why.
Because Bucky’s rubbing circles on the skin of your waist, and letting you cry without making a big fucking deal about it, and nothing mended. Nothing’s ever mended. You’ve been a little fucking broken for a long time, with or without Bucky. But it had been a kind of broken that had folded and shaped with him, and when he’d been gone it was like half your organs had been frozen and crumbled in your body.
But he’s back. And you feel real again.
———
There’s a long silence in the air, and you know what’s coming. The question. You’ve known she’s going to ask it the whole time—you’d honestly expected it a lot sooner—and you’ve been prepared. You have a very long speech about how Bucky had changed again—short hair, kept the new arm, appearing in his own, mostly empty apartment and trading the Wakandan clothing for jeans and jackets—and that he’d told you how much he hated some guy named John.
He’d said he despised the asshole. That he was everything Steve had hated—you’d had a pretty good idea who Steve was, based on context and a theory but you hadn’t be quite ready to it yet—and nothing sounded better than punching his lights out.
And you’re ready to explain that you’d had the news on in the background, a few words had broken from static background noise, and your whole world had shifted. John Walker had been announced as the new Captain America, they’d run a stupid little fluff piece on the life of Steve Rogers, and there was Bucky. Captain America’s best friend and ally, the assumed cause of that whole the Avengers are breaking up thing, and the former Winter Solider.
You’d mostly stared at the screen for a really long time as everything feel into place—you’d looked him up after, and it was a little embarrassing it had taken you this long given that he has a Wikipedia page—before calling Raynor, and preparing for the question.
But when she asks it, your mind goes blank, and all you can’t think to say is the truth.
“May I ask,” Raynor says carefully. ”Why are you only discussing this now?”
“Because he’s real.”
———
Bucky has dreams. Not nightmares.
Dreams.
He dreams about Her. She’s the only constant in his life, the only solace and purely good thing he knows, and She’s not even damn real.
Bucky’s pretty sure She’s not real. It wouldn’t make any sense for Her to be real. He’d spent most of the years assuming that She was simply a result of him being able to dream again, a trick of his mind that was both a comfort and a torture, because he needed those dreams—needed Her, in a strange way that lived in his chest and was soft on his skin—more than he’d ever needed anything, but they also reminded him of what he’d never have.
A life in a simple apartment, filled with his own presence in a way that was easy. He always loved that about Her apartment. How everywhere he looked, She was there. The colors and furniture and posters and trinkets on the shelves all screamed Her, and no one could ever replicate that if they tried.
He didn’t know how to do that anywhere. How to just be him in a way that didn’t feel like something was strangling him. His apartment was barren. Every time he spoke it felt like he should be apologize immediately after, because barely anyone seemed to like him, let alone want to hear him.
Bucky understood that. He wasn’t exactly his own biggest fan, and the only time there was no part of him trying to escape his own body was when he was asleep, and She was at his side.
He liked being himself with Her. It was simple, and natural, and never a labor. She never flinched away from him—She seemed to like being close to him—and Bucky never really wanted to wake up. Part of him always hoped that this time, when he fell asleep and She appeared once more, he’d wake up in Her apartment, and it would all be real.
A very small part of him needed this—needed Her—to be real. It would be really amazing if She was real. It wasn’t something he deserved to ask for, to plead with the universe about, but he did. He kept trying to come up with reasons She could be real.
She felt real, in his dreams. She spoke and acted like a person, and not a doll or shell his brain may have created to get him through his de-programming. She was always saying things and making references he didn’t get until she explained them, things he was certain he hadn’t heard in passing. She was way prettier than anyone Bucky had ever seen, which would contribute to Her being only a dream if he wasn’t so certain that he simply wasn’t that creative.
He could imagine a pretty girl.
He couldn’t imagine Her.
Smart and funny and gorgeous, fitting against him like She’d been molded to, teasing him in ways he’d never thought of and kind to him ways he couldn’t be kind to himself.
She was never disgusted by the arm, and Bucky was sure that—if She was only a part of his mind given shape—she would know about the whole Winter Soldier thing. But he’d had to explain all he could to Her, and when he’d left certain, darker parts out She hadn’t said but that’s not the truth, is it, James.
She seemed to like Bucky. That was the most concrete proof he had that She had to somehow be real. Nobody liked him. Not in to raw, unrelenting way She did.
So She had to be real.
Bucky really hoped, against all odds, that she was real.
It would fix a lot of problems if She was real. Sam kept trying to get him to date, and he didn’t want to. He always felt like he was betraying Her. It wasn’t sustainable or logical, but logic didn’t really matter here, because Bucky’s gut would wither and his hands would curl into fists every time he had to try and flirt with another woman. They didn’t fit against him as well as She did. Their teasing would either bite too hard or not bite at all, and the night would end with Bucky falling back into Her arms.
He asked Shuri—very vaguely, he didn’t want his brain to be poked and prodded again—what reoccurring dreams could mean.
“Reoccurring?” She’d frowned at him over the video call. “You’ll have to clarify, reoccurring can mean many things.”
“Uh,” Bucky had swallowed, glancing at his mattress across the room. “A dream you have every night. And it could change, but it’s always the same person in it?”
Shuri had given him an odd look. “Have you been having a dream like that?”
“No.” His answer had been too fast. He needed to keep it together if he was going to sell this. “Sam has. He mentioned that he kept seeing some lady in his dreams, and she felt real but he’d never met her before. Thought I’d do him a favor and ask about it.”
It wasn’t the best lie he’d ever told, if Shuri look of doubt had been any indication. But she bit, and kept moving.
“Well, it looks as if Sam,” she’d given him a pointed look, and Bucky had forced his face to remain completely neutral. “Has found his soulmate.”
Bucky had stared at her for a really long time. His vision had blurred, there had been a ringing in his ears, and time had seemed to still as Shuri’s words sank in.
Soulmate.
“I thought, uh,” Bucky had cleared his throat, his voice a little hoarse. “Soulmates aren’t real-“
“Of course they’re real.” Shuri had shrugged. “Soulmate is an archaic term for two brains that emit the exact same neuroelectricity, their nerve paths aligning completely. Often they will have differing personalities and lives, but the tie of the biology will link them in sleep, and they will experience incredibly vivid lucid dreams. Like this video conference, but if our minds and bodies were built to fall in love with each other. It is rare, but not impossible.”
Bucky had frowned. “But I- uh, Sam said he’s only had these dreams about four years-“
“Sam’s brain underwent severe rewiring and torment.” Shuri’s voice had been dry, her expression flat. “He would do well to remember that his connection may have been slightly mauled, and only after a certain genius princess fixed him would he have been able to reciprocate the bond fully.”
Oh.
The first time Bucky had appeared in Her apartment, She had said ten years. When She’d appeared to him for the very first time, She’d said she’d dreamt of him before.
Bucky had assumed that had been another way his brain was comforting him. Telling him he could be the type of person a pretty girl like Her dreamed about.
But when he thought about it—clenched his jaw and drew up the heavier, blood-stained memories of the Soldier—there had sometimes been someone in his body with him. Not the Soldier, but the third presence that wasn’t hostile. Wasn’t really foreign. Just was.
“Could the-“ Bucky had swallowed, watching Shuri carefully as he spoke. “Sam said he could sometimes feel the gal while he was awake. Is that a thing that could happen?”
“If Sam was not himself, and the soulmate was not of full maturity, yes.”
Bucky had felt himself pale. “What do you mean, full maturity-“
“You are a hundred years old, Mr. Barnes.” Shuri had raised her brows, and all pretense of Sam had dropped. “There would have naturally been a point where your soulmate was a child, as that is how most people begin their lives. It is likely that you were still under the control of Hydra in your soulmate’s youth, and she would have only been a growing presence in your mind until she was a full person, and you were no longer only the shell of a man I met after my father’s death.”
“So she- Would she have seen what I did? As the Solider?”
He knew She had. She’d told him She had.
Bucky still didn’t want it to be true.
Shuri had given him a sympathetic look. “Unfortunately, yes. She would have. But if she is what you say, she is a perfect match to you in every way. She will not care what you were before, under the control of Hydra.”
“But-“
“It is not something worth protesting, Bucky.” Shuri had sighed, leaning a little closer to the camera. “This is not something that can be severed or changed, so please do not bother to ask. And remember that she is real. Her own person, with her own pain. I would recommend you attempt to find her, but that is something you will have to decide for yourself.”
And now he was here. Staring at the dark screen where Shuri’s face had been moments before, his head still spinning around the word.
Soulmate.
She’d made is sound scientific. Possible. Bucky could have a soulmate.
He didn’t deserve a soulmate. Not one he’d likely trapped in his mind, forced to witness the brutal atrocities he’d committed as the Winter Solider.
And he wanted to find Her. Bucky wanted to touch Her and kiss her and keep her longer than just the night. To wake up and see Her next to him, tangible and all his.
He’d liked the idea of something being his in a way that wasn’t a curse. In a way he could throw his all right back to Her, and she’d catch it.
But there was still the sour, molding feeling over his heart that—since She was real, and probably had Her own issues to deal with—She wouldn’t want him in her life. Not Her real life, where everything was more complicate than just them in a literal dream.
He shouldn’t find Her. She’d be better off without him. Bucky would do nothing but make Her life more complicated, and he could get through this know that She was real and safe, far away from him but still haunting his dreams in the best way possible.
He was so lost in his head he misses the first phone call. And the second one.
It was the third one that got his attention—buzzing and ringing on the table next to his computer, Dr. Raynor flashing across the screen—and the fourth one he actually managed to pick up.
Bucky didn’t bother to hide the tension in his voice when he spoke. He really didn’t have the time or energy for this, not right now. “Doc, I’m not due back for another four days-“
“I’m aware, James, I keep a calendar.” Raynor sighed through the speaker, and Bucky had never heard her sound so tense. It was a little concerning. “However, I am going to have to request you come in today. It’s an emergency.”
He scowled. “What emergency, I haven’t done anything emergency worthy-“
“It’s not only about you.” Raynor snapped. “And I’m changing it from a request to an order. Office in twenty minutes.” There was a long pause, and then a whispered, “Please.”
That wasn’t good.
“Did I get in trouble?” Bucky asked, his grip on the phone tightening. “Cause I’ve been following all the stupid rules, and if Sam says I did something he’s just being a dramatic dick-“
Raynor sighed, and Bucky could picture the thin look of exhaustion on her face. “You are not in trouble, James. It’s not- I can’t explain over the phone. It may be better for you to see.”
“See what?”
“Just come to the fucking office.”
Bucky blinked, and the line went dead.
Raynor couldn’t make him go. But he also had never heard her swear like that. Or order him to come in before an appointment.
He was a little curious. And it wasn’t like he had anything else to do today but drown in the knowledge of what Shuri had told him, trying to work out how he’d face Her tonight.
So he went to the office. Chances are it was nothing. Bucky couldn’t imagine it would be something. He spent the whole ride trying to think of an idea, came up blank, and decided that Sam had mentioned something to Raynor about how Bucky had been brooding more than usual, and he was just going to have to explain the whole I’m not brooding, I’m just sick of Sam’s blind date bullshit and also maybe have a soulmate thing. Then he’s kick Sam’s ass, and everything would be fine.
Bucky entered to office with a whole speech ready. His chin raised high and his arms crossed, because he was already having a very weird and complex day, and he didn’t need this.
All the words were knocked out of him the moment he opened the door, glanced around the room, and saw who was on the couch.
Her.
In person.
Very, very real, and in Raynor’s office, and here.
Raynor said Her name. The name Bucky knew Her by, and her last name.
It was a nice last name. Barnes would suit Her better, but the idea that she was real enough to have a last name was already bringing Bucky to his knees, so he’d have to save that thought for later.
“Meet James Barnes.” Raynor was probably looking between them. Bucky couldn’t be sure though, because he couldn’t stop staring at Her.
She was moving to Her feet, and seeing Her in person was somehow even better. She was sharper around the edges, and more colorful in small, bright ways, and nothing about Her felt like it could ever slip between Bucky’s fingers.
She wasn’t mist. She wasn’t an illusion, or a coping mechanism.
She was real.
Walking towards him with wide eyes and an open mouth, reaching a hand up to poke at his face. Tracing his nose and running fingers over his cheekbones, Her eyes never leaving his.
Bucky caught Her hand right as it brushed over his lips, and She made the prettiest gasp he’d ever heard.
“You’re real.” He said, because it was all he could think of. Nothing about this was a dream. Bucky would not have a dream where Raynor was watching him restrain himself from kissing Her until she collapsed in his arms.
“I’m real.” She whispered, and Her voice was better in real life too. “You’re here.”
He nodded. “I’m here.” He paused, scanning over Her open features. “Don’t think I’m going anywhere, doll.”
Her face split into a wide smile, all teeth and light and joy. For Bucky.
There was adoration on Her face, and it was all for Bucky.
“Good.” Her smile grew, Her fingers tangling with his metal ones. “Because I’m not either.”
End Note: Save me Bucky Barnes raising goats. Bucky Barnes raising goats, save me.
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#godmadeaterribleerror#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky fanfic#bucky barns x reader#bucky barns fanfiction#bucky barns x y/n#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes smut#x reader#soulmates#dream#shameless smut#smut#fluff#angst#reader insert#romance#p in v sex#fanfiction#fanfic#female reader#x you#x you smut#no use of y/n
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Hello, how do the Yanderes react when they find out that Percy became a child of about 5 or 6 years old? I ask this because according to them, Percy was born as a teenager.
this is a lil complicated to explain, but percy was not born as a "teenager" to them, but with the appearance of a fully grown goddess. they just treated her like a baby, because she technically was despite her appearance. plus, she definitely didn't have the perfect mannerisms of a fully grown goddess, so there was that too. she was a "baby".
the concept of "teenage-hood" didn't exist in ancient times. back then, you go from child to adult. there's no in-between like we do now. when ppl reached puberty (for girls this would be when they have their first period), you were automatically deemed an adult!
(also, if you go back to chapter 7 to the apollo scene, i even wrote a short discussion about this where the nymphs of apollo's harem had no idea what a "teenager" was and they laugh about it since it's another "silly concept" humans made lol)
BUT ANYWAY
poseidon would absolutely horde his daughter in his palace. no one is allowed to ever speak of what happened because he knows the other yans would try to snatch her, or worse, his annoying mother would take her cuz she's obsessed with babies 💀💀 he'd spend every second with his daughter lmao, he'd carry her around, pinch and squish her cheeks, watch her sleep, etc. but he'd be so paranoid. it was already hard enough trying to be gentle in handling his daughter in her og form, but now that she was even smaller and weaker and frailer???? he's working EXTRA hard to be as careful as possible
hades would do the same! he'd put the entire palace on lockdown, all phones would be confiscated, and any other methods of communication (whether it be telepathy, letters, etc) would strictly be forbidden within his palace walls. he does NOT want to risk the news of percy's transformation spreading around. he'd have so much fun doting on her; conjuring up dolls and tea party sets, letting her play with cerberus (tho he has to shrink him tho). he'd abandon all his kingly duties just to play silly games with her 😭
you know how little kids are always asking the most annoying and random questions ever because their curiosity is just never-ending??? well, beelzebub actually wouldn't mind it! he's a genius so he has proper answers to pretty much anything percy can ask! would her tiny child brain understand a single thing? nope! but that's fine cuz he can answer her questions within a question too! the only issue he has is bedtimes when she requests a bedtime story and he has.... none. nor is he creative enough to think of story to give to a child 💀💀💀
SHE WOULD HAVE A BLAST WITH ANUBIS LMAO. he's basically a mix between a babysitter and a playmate all rolled into one 😂😂😂 the best part is that while the other yans wouldn't bother letting her do mortal stuff like watching human tv shows and movies or buying mortal-made dolls, anubis would happily do those with her! he already lets kebi have whatever she wants after all, spoiling another little girl is easy peasy! she wants to listen to watch "the little mermaid"? he has no clue wtf that is, but he'll get the theater room ready! she wants a mermaid barbie? voila, he's already got it summoned in his hand!
apollo's another excellent babysitter! sure he'll keep her locked up within the confines of delos island, but that's fine cuz he always keeps her happy and entertained with all kinds of things to do!!!! he'll show off his cool skills on the lyre and teach her how to play. oh, she likes drawings??? he has an art room!!!! he'll probably get really really concerned when she starts drawing big and scary monsters and gets even MORE worried when he asks about it and she says "oh, this one was following me once when i was waiting for mommy to pick me up from school. and this one kept trying to lure me away with candy" 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
loki's probably the one who makes her cry first 💀 not on purpose, he's just excited okay???? knowing him, he'd probably take her out to explore some cool spot he used to let his kids play at, but instead of teleporting there, he'd pick her up and fly there which makes her panic and cry because of how high up they were. might even drop her on accident because of how much she's moving around. he catches her ofc, but now she's traumatized. oops 💀
cú chulainn would be another one who would make her cry 😭😭😭 he is absolutely clueless on how to deal with children, little girls especially. so he just tries to keep her locked up inside the palace for her own safety, but even THAT was a safety hazard cuz she keeps getting into danger 😭😭 he once saw her climb up the kitchen counter with a wobbly chair and nearly fell over until he caught her. then he saw her trip over an upturned part of the rug and now she's got a bruise on her head. saw her try to reach into the fireplace out of curiosity. etc etc. she just can't keep fucking STILL for once. why can't she just stay inside a room and play dolls or whatever?! he probably loses his shit after saving her for the 1364176th time and snaps at her to just keep still only to panic when she starts BAWLING 💀💀💀💀
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27 Asks! Thank you! :}} 💞
@peaspods
I might not be understanding, but I'm imagining this as people opening up commissions so people can give them money and they can turn around and donate that money to me..
I fear that this would create the opportunity to scam people.. "I'm taking commissions on behalf of Factual Fantasy! They're very sick so please commission me!" only for them to run away with the money they make..
I've been thinking a lot about setting up some kind of commission/donation thing because I'm starting to kind'a need the money.. but idk, I'm just kind'a run down and need some time to keep thinking about it. Thank you very much though <:)))
@zecromgen5
Thank you very much! :) And I've been hanging in there.. there hasn't been much improvement to my health or my mental state. The fact that in April it will officially been over a year since my health started to decline, and the fact that I'm going to spend my birthday at home collapsed on the couch has made me feel very sad <:( But I'm doing my best to work on it.. I'm hoping this new advice from my doctor helps me feel better <:)
And something good HAS happened actually, I got my tablet/FireAlpaca to work again! :))
XDD SJKFJSH AWW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD
I've only seen a bit of it from Markiplier. So far I'm 50/50. Somethings I like and others I don't care for 😅
@neo-metalscottic
Thank you so much! :D 'm glad you've liked my recent artwork!! :}}}}
Also for Homes eyes, that was just meant to represent its oppressive presence and the fact that its watching them in that moment.. 👁️👁️
And I don't have any plans for any of the neighbors or Wally to figure out the house is alive. My AU is more like "a day in the life of" thing. Having someone discover Home is alive would move the plot forward. Which I don't feel like doing <XDD
Now communication... Home understands the concept, but he has no way of communicating other than creaking the floorboards and slamming doors..
I've heard about the well. That could work for Cliffjumper and Breakdown maybe.. and the twins perhaps.? But wouldn't they have to have Tailgates body in order to revive him? Hmmm.. idk actually,,
I've watched the bayverse movies, most of Prime and a few other things here and there. I didn't mind the bayverse movies that much, but I can see why a lot of people don't like them <XD
I just imaging trying to consume more than one Transformers media would be a lot to take on.. and I also don't like the animation styles of most other transformers shows 😅
(That's actually how I decided to watch Prime. I took a look at all the shows and went "this one looks ugly, this one looks ugly,, this one looks REALLY ugly.. Oh, this one doesn't look half bad. TFP it is then!")
@acreaturecalledkyfa
I've watched Markipliers first video on it. So far I'm not sure how I feel about those two 😅
The way I immediately opened YouTube and went looking for it XDD
@fandomcenteral (Link in ask)
Thank you so much! :DD This will come in handy!
@mason-gaylord
Aw! Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰
@im-nice-but-i-dont-like-you
Jangles would be a helicopter probably, Gerald would be a tank, Cici would be a Miata and Bibi would be a slightly raised up Miata XDD
Aw, I'm honored that you miss them <:}} Though I don't know if I'll draw them anytime soon.. I'm really not into inserted OCs anymore <:(
I'm waiting on Markiplier to release more videos on it <XD
@fadlingartisanfreakwinner
I like to imagine that Pokémon can learn dozens of moves. But 4 is the limit for official Pokémon battles. So any wild Pokémon in my comics can use/learn as many as they want :0
And yeah, they had that chat eventually. I just never got around to drawing it 😅
@wolfie-777
Nah nah its just iced tea XDDD
@whereismycupofcoffee
:DDD Thank you so much!! :}}}}
AAAA THANKYOU SO MCUHH!! :DDDD
@nuggybee
Yeahh,, Sky has its ups and downs. I'm currently in one of its downs. It seems like I'm let down by everything they're releasing 😓
@smithanonsworld
I feel like I've never seen a rabbit that color... its so cute 😭💞💞💞
@heaventhehedgi3
That sounds like me! Though I don't draw Octonauts anymore 😅
I'll keep it in mind! :0
🥹🥹🥹Aw... that's so sweet! Thank you so much!! 😭💞💞
@captain-skyler1987
You made an account just to follow me? :DD Aw that's so sweet! :) Thank you!
Also I'm sorry to hear you got the flu :(( I hope you're better by now!
I also have not played Dandy's world 😅
@stargirldrawsx3
The first thing that came to mind was very anxious all the time 😅
@network-warrior-01
Ah, that was an April fools post. <XD There is no drawing
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Kenjaku NSFW Alphabet
MDNI +18 NSFW
I ain’t satisfied to much with this might revisit, but I got a general idea started.
Cw/Tw - SA allegations, manipulation, CNC, unhealthy, and gore? Brain shit.
(A)ftercare - He’s on it fr fr. Washing you, had a drink ready, cuddles, praise, kisses. He is a lover, and a good one at that.
(B)ody Part - your neck. It’s so very complex, he likes marking it, choking you too. There’s so much trust to let someone touch your neck and he loves that.
(C)um - Say it with me! Breeder! Breeding! B-R-E-E-D! Inside! As deep as he can! Or as deep in him as you can! He gave birth. Probably has in the past given birth and gotten people pregnant too. The death paintings as well. Let’s be real.
(D)irty Secret - finger his brain or just touch it in general. It’s sensitive so be gentle but god he loves it! It’s a cursed object so don’t worry about breaking it easy, if you’re to rough it can hurt tho.
(E)xperience - A lot. Multiple centuries worth. He’s not a whore per se, but sex certainly is a tool for survival.
(F)avorite Position - both standing, from behind, arch your back so he can hold your throat and kiss you.
(G)oofy - not really… sadly. He can be goofy tho and make you roll your eyes in amusement because he might get distracted and start yappin with his dick in you.
(H)air - he’s got that trimmed and washed. Well groomed. Smells great!
(I)ntimacy - he’s so intimate, no matter how hard he’s fucking your brains out. He’s here to worship your body like it’s the answer to all of his problems.
(J)ack off - Not really. Unless it’s to tease. Again, it’s more a tool to him.
(K)ink - science kink. We all saw the nurse fit. He loves exploring your body like it’s the first human body he’s ever seen, and finding all the unique things about it. Finding your limits, what feels best, what is a turn on, all of it. Improper use of jujustu too.
(L)ocation - he has to favorite location, he do like it in public tho. Risky is delicious, he likes the fun of it!
(M)otivation - Not specifically a turn on, but he loves your passions and when you’re really into something! He’s super supportive about it too.
(N)o - you cannot fuck his brain or use a strap on it. The mouth is too small, and it’ll hurt to slide between the halves like that.
(O)ral - he loves receiving oral. As much as he sticks that damn tongue out, he wants to talk to you while you suck him off more.
(P)ace - he’s rough. He can be fast or slow, but he’s rough and cruel. He teases HARD. He wants you begging and to break yo brain.
(Q)uicky - he’s up for a quicky but prefers to take his time and enjoy things. He’s a journey man, not a results man.
(R)isk - he LOVES trying new things, he loves learning that people have a kink for and why, where it came from. Trauma based or developed from something? Was it hereditary? He’s tried a lot and is up for a lot.
(S)tamina - yes. God he has a lot. He stops when you’re done. You’ve not found him to ever tap out first.
(T)oys - He honestly prefers using toys on you than using himself! He loves it, watching your reactions touching, controlling the toy and the pace, he loves it.
(U)nfair - He’s a massive tease, being coy and making you ask for everything. He loves barely touching or using things against you. He loves denying you from cumming or ruining your orgasm if you’re into it.
(V)olume - he’s a low groan and huffer. Grunts and hums of delight. He loves if you’re loud too
(W)ild Card - As perfect as he is with you… he’s not a good guy. He’s explicitly very very evil. He’s controlling, and you don’t even know it. He curates your friend group, how your work is going and when you’ll get a raise or promotion. He slowly influences what you wear and eat too. Nothing crazy, but he likes knowing he is apart of your every waking moment and especially when you break his expectations or do something out of routine! He does love you. He’s just taking care of you in his mind, because he has so much experience he knows what’s good for you.
(X)-ray - BLACK LACE THONG. I am dead serious. He’s a fancy ass, and he thinks it’s funny plus comfy as hell. He thinks it’s a power move as well. He LOVED your first reaction to it as well.
(Y)es - CNC, what with bitches thinking he raped that girl, it was a bit traumatic honestly! He swore off sex for a bit even! Then he like many with sexual trauma learned about CNC and uses it as a healthy kink thang. He likes being the victim and the aggressor and he’s kinda private about it. He needs to trust you a lot first.
(Z)zz - Oh I could see him nappin, he’s taking care of you then cuddling up, put on a show, and nap with you. He likes the vulnerability and the domestic feel of it. Despite his grand age and protest, he IS still human and craves that connection.
#dogs tag#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#kenjaku#smut#jjk smut#x Reader#kenjaku x reader#jjk kenjaku
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Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead’s Sister-in-Law!
‘Slight’ Yandere! Dion Agriche x Fem! Reader
Chapter 15
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Arranged marriage AU
Interact with this post to be on the tag list. Will only add if you interact with this post that’s linked. Read DNI/BYF first.
NOTE: Dion’s down bad and Jeremy needs more than one positive influence. Also, pray for the Reader guys.
Warnings: Both Dion and Jeremy are out of character, toxic marriage/relationship, themes of obsession and possessiveness, slight yandere themes, anxiety, one or two mentions of vomit, near panic attack (probably), invasion of personal space (Dion needs to learn), jealousy, drugs (sleeping pills), almost normal sibling interaction between the two Agriches (they are trying their best <3), mention of birth control, Reader thinks about how Dion would make a pretty bad father (better than Lant but still bad), (Reader thinks Dion would be jealous of their future kid if they ever have one, but I think he’d be more worried about whether or not they’ll survive), Dion’s actions are very toxic no matter how you look at it. Please tell me if I missed any.
NSFW-ish warnings: mention of implied vaginal sex, Lant being creepy-ish with putting the Reader on birth control since he basically thinks the married couple is busy at night often, implied/mention of cum swallowing, mention/implied oral (male receiving) and hand job. No sexual activities actually take place, but still.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THE HARMFUL AND/OR DANGEROUS ACTIONS AND/OR BEHAVIORS THAT MAY TAKE PLACE IN THIS PIECE OF FICTION. THESE ACTIONS/BEHAVIORS SHOULD NOT BE NORMALIZED NOR ROMANIZED AS THEY ARE BOTH EXTREMELY TOXIC AND DANGEROUS.
MINORS/BLANK BLOGS/BLOGS THAT DO NOT INTERACT WITH OR REBLOG FANDOM RELATED THINGS (FICS, ART, ETC.) DNI.
= = =
“Jeremy?”
He grins so brightly it could rival the sun. “In the flesh. I heard that the old lady invited you to her room.” Hands in his pockets, he kicks a leg before leaning against the doors. His cat-like blue eyes observe your every action. It puts you on edge.
“O-oh yes… word sure does travel fast.” Lifelessly you chuckle, fingers slightly gripping the sheets below you. It takes effort not to rip them between your fingers. Averting your eyes leads to them landing on his brown boots. They looked cleaned rather than new, the laces slightly worn and a scuff mark here and there on them.
You look at them harder. Slightly damp with some sort of cleaning material, you quickly realize he had just washed them. Scanning over his person only makes you more certain of that fact -some slime in his hair and on his pale cheek rests a small speck of blood. His clothes were wrinkled all over and his hair was windblown.
Regardless, his clothes are still expensive looking and you wonder if they cost more than half of your wardrobe back at home. Trying your best not to frown at the reminder of how much more powerful the Agriche family is compared to your own, you’re drawn to the red on his fair cheek.
Upon seeing where your gaze rests on his face, he quickly swipes the area off a few times until the blood is no more. It stains his blue sleeve now.
“The old lady wouldn’t shut up about it once she sent the invitation yesterday. You should have seen Dion’s face,” he scoffs with a grin at the memory.
Knowing Dion, it was probably a twitch of the eyebrow and a glare meant for her. Their relationship is sad, in all honesty. Still, you wonder if she told him herself or if he just overheard from a second party. Or perhaps both, going to ask her in person once the news reached his ears.
“Is that so?” Brain working overtime to keep this conversation going, you watch as Jeremy yawns while stretching his arms above his head. When like this, he really does only look like a boy - a child. But underneath his current demeanor lies a little crazy man who has no qualms about killing.
Just how he was taught to.
The boy hums in thought, making you look at his face. He grins and you keep the cold sweat at bay. His pearly white canines nearly shine in the sunlight seeping through the glass terrace doors. He reminds you of a cat on the hunt. Ready to pounce.
How pathetic.
Even with a child you are only prey.
“Are you free tomorrow? Xana is and it’s not like I have anything going on either.” He sounds so carefree, his age showing. And yet, the fact only makes you more nervous, fingers twitching as Jeremy waits for your answer. His face is so bright that it almost looks sincere.
Well… you do need to talk to Roxana. Maybe not ask her for help right off the bat, but establishing a ‘decent relationship’ with her and Jeremy could be a decent idea… assuming they won’t turn out to be like your husband.
Oh. I… never considered that…
Newfound apprehension forms from a single thought that just now crossed your mind. After interacting with Maria a few times, you already expected you would become one of her ‘favorites’ - for how long, you’re not sure. But what about the rest of the family?
Lant?
Sierra?
Roxana?
Jeremy?
Would they also become obsessed with you? So far, the only one who’s acting as he should is Lant and to a degree, Maria, not to mention Sierra. On the other hand, Dion, Roxana and Jeremy are not. But, as you originally thought, the two younger in-laws could just be testing you. Whatever the reason you don’t know.
You take in a small breath. You can still hear your heartbeat even as you lock eyes with him. Your gut screams at you to kick him out as you smile at him. You force your body to ‘relax’ as it stiffens when you answer.
You need to start properly playing the role of a good in-law to these people. Submissive enough to be ignored by the majority of them while the others praise you. Holding back a scowl at the newfound ‘plan,’ you realize you’re reducing yourself to nothing more than a fucking dog.
You go on regardless.
“Yes, actually. Do you have something in mind?” His eyes brighten, pushing himself off the doors a bit. From what’s shown, there isn’t a hint of something sinister in those blue eyes of his. Your younger brother-in-law almost reminds you of Zac whenever you praise him or tag along on one of his ‘adventures’.
“You haven’t seen the entire estate, right? There’s some cool sights we could show you.” Excitedly offering up ideas you only smile and nod. In truth, just the thought of it is making your stomach churn. It wasn’t in disgust like with your husband, but rather… something else.
“That sounds nice.”
A lie that only makes him smile brighter.
However, before he could utter another word, the doors opened behind him, and had he still leaned against it, he would have fallen backwards. Dressed to the nines - then again, who isn’t in this family, ever - a certain tall, black-haired and scarlet eyes man towers over the boy like nothing.
You flinch while Jeremy looks at the ‘intruder’ in annoyance. Your time together has come to an end, it seems. Dion glances at you before looking at his younger half-brother.
“Since when was breaking and entering your hobby?” What should sound like a joke is said with a glare, his voice low enough to almost sound like a threat.
“O-oh, I actually invited him in after he knocked…” There wasn’t a bond between you and the boy. But you had a feeling that if you didn’t step in, an argument would break out, and that there was a chance that Jeremy might take a swing at him. You don’t care about Dion, but you’d rather not see a kid fight a twenty-year-old.
“Did you?” He sounds doubtful but thankfully not upset.
“Y-yes.”
Your husband only continues to stare you down. Unable to maintain eye contact with him for a second longer, you turn your attention to Jeremy. “But yes, it would be nice to spend time together.” From the corner of your eye you can see Dion slightly twitch as you show sweetness to his brother and not him.
But he quickly recovers, most likely realizing how pathetic it was to be jealous over a kid. Even more so when that kid is his own brother, needing to keep appearances that he’s not as depraved as the rest of his family. You almost praise him for that.
Jeremy smugly looks at the second oldest son before turning back to you. “Okay. I’ll come by to pick you up in the morning with Xana, then.” He lingers for a bit before your husband gently nudges Jeremy’s foot with his own, signaling to the boy that he wants him out.
… this is so weird to see… and pathetic on Dion’s end.
Your husband had only recovered from short-lived jealousy. Annoyance, on the other hand, was radiating off of him.
“Hey! Why are you pushing me out!?”
“Pushing? You must be imagining things.”
If it wasn’t for their tone of voice - snarky, threatening from Jeremy and monotone from Dion - it would have passed as a normal exchange between siblings. However, with murderous rage and pure hatred in his eyes, Jeremy looks like a hissing cat. Dion, on the other hand, looks like he could easily take him down if needed, calm and calculating.
Quickly slipping your shoes back on, you hurry over to the two males. Choosing to ignore your husband, you pat Jeremy’s head, softening your eyes as you pretend he’s your lovely - annoying - Zac.
Imagining he had (h/c) hair instead of black, replacing his blue eyes with (e/c) in your head, the memory of your brother almost puts you at ease. You make yourself feel sick for doing this - it wasn’t fair to no-one.
“Thanks for coming by, Jeremy.” Saying his name was an accident, your breath hitching once you realize your mistake. Too intimate for in-laws who barely saw each other, when one is afraid of the other. You continue on regardless.
“I’m sad that we need to cut our conversation short, but your brother wants to talk in private.” You don’t want to be alone with the favorite son. You consider begging Jeremy to stay, but that would only backfire on you. You’re scared to find out how Dion would react if you do that.
Jeremy’s reaction is also a call for caution. So, you keep your mouth shut.
“However, feel free to come by whenever.”
You’re vaguely aware of your husband’s fingers daring to curl into yours as you offer smiles and attention to Jeremy. You pull that hand away, skin crawling at his touch. Like you would willingly hold his hand.
“Oh…,” taken aback by your sudden shower of ‘affection,’ Jeremy looks at you, surprised. But a joyful grin breaks out on his face, truly showing his youth. “Alright. I’ll come by with Xana tomorrow.” He turns on his feet to leave, but not without sending one last glare towards Dion.
After the door shuts, the arranged husband and wife are left alone.
Facing the door as your husband faces you, he’s close enough to reach out and plays with a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers. It makes you want to cut that strand off, to cut all of it off and scrub yourself clean. Fingers twitch as you hold back the urge to yank your hair away from him and leave the room.
“You act affectionately towards everyone but me.” He steps closer while you become glued to your spot, breathing halted and heart almost stopping. Bringing the strand of hair up to his lips, he kisses it while looking down at you, scarlet eyes glowing with something heavy, dangerous thoughts swirling in the red irises. You’re close to screaming.
Your legs buck. Lungs stop working. Mind blank. Mouth dry as you force your right hand down, shaking and twitching as it begs to be bitten down on.
He lets it go with an odd smile, and you tear your gaze away to look at the heavy doors in front of you.
Sweat pools at your temples and the base of your neck. You lick your lips, terrified that Dion might take another unwanted step. That he would give in and -
“I-I don’t know what you mean…,” you speak faster than you can think. Lacing your fingers together in front of your chest, you silently pray to a God that won’t listen. For if he did, you wouldn’t be here.
You must repent for your sins before he lends you an ear.
“You don’t?” His pointer finger curls and then wipes away a tear you didn’t even notice that leaked, and you start to breathe rapidly. “You smiled at two guards yesterday while ignoring me. And just now you even rubbed Jeremy’s head while you refused to touch me.”
You just shake your head, prayer after prayer said in your head. No-one answers them.
“He’s a boy… n-no need to get… upset over it.” Your toes curl in your shoes. The door is right there, you could try your luck. Oh, but when you look at him from the corner of your eye, you realize that’s impossible - his eyes are solely on you. Watching your every move, every twitch, every exhale and inhale. His attention to detail is clear as day when he calls you ‘cute’ once he notices how you caught on.
Your stomach churns.
He starts to talk again, and for once he doesn’t lean in closer or hold the back of your neck or head. “You’re right - he’s just a boy… setting aside the fact he could easily take on a good amount of the regular guards.” His reply is accompanied with a lazy smirk.
You blink, turning your head to face him. You’re still trembling, still holding back screams and sobs the longer he stays here. But, you needed to say something, slightly annoyed he’s knowingly ignoring what you meant. “I-I am fully a- aware of that,” your body twitches as you look down to the side, “and I kn - know you know what I me-mean.”
You can’t stop stuttering. It’s embarrassing, it makes you feel like a child. But how can you talk properly to a man that gladly assisted in taking your freedom away? His pretty little songbird.
Your husband hums in thought before pushing back a few strands of hair behind your ear. He takes a step back when you do.
How considerate of him.
Was silence always this painful? Or was it just his suffocating presence that taints the air around you? Are you really going to suffer being his wife, a part of this family for the rest of your life, no matter how short?
Was your sin so offensive that it carried over to this world?
While you’re drowning in your anxiety and panic, Dion merely looks at you. Shamefully, day by day it gets harder and harder to just limit himself to fleeting touches. He’s all too painfully aware that you’re terrified of him, that you despise being here and to bear his last name.
He knows it’s not romantic. That it’s dangerous and all kinds of fucked up. But his feelings for you are genuine, no matter how twisted. He wonders if that realization would only drive you away once you get it.
It’s not romantic but it’s the closest thing he knows to it. And it makes everything all the more ironic.
Soon, he’ll learn the price of pushing and pushing and pushing.
Both of you are startled by three knocks at the door, too caught up in your thoughts to even hear the footsteps. A regular occurrence for you but an extremely rare one for him. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
“My Lady, I have returned with the sleeping pills. May I come in?”
Oh! You forgot all about Hana, how silly of you.
Hana my savior, my hero, God I think you’re my favorite person now and -
“Y-yes!” You squeak out, acting a bit too fast just to open the door yourself. Both your maid and husband are taken aback by this, especially when you hold the door open for her. “Come in.” You usher her, watching as her look of confusion becomes stoney once Dion enters her field of vision, standing tall, towering over both of you.
She bows her head as she continues to hold a silver tray with the pills on it. Unnecessary to carry it just for measly pills, but the fact she’s here at all improves your mood significantly. You’re so caught up in her that you don’t see the way Dion’s eye twitches before his expression becomes true neutral as he sees how warm you are with her.
“Greetings, Young Master.” She doesn’t spare him another glance as her attention returns to you. “My Lady, what time do you plan on retiring to bed?” She places the tray on the nightside table and it’s only then do you notice it.
Red wrappers hiding away the appearance of small balls rests on the tray. Watching as she takes the three pieces of what you assume to be candy and pills off the tray, you give her an answer. Your eyes never leave the candies, though.
“Um… around eight, I suppose.” Currently it’s three in the afternoon. And currently, you’re doing your best to ignore your husband’s horrible stare. But thanks to Hana being here, it doesn’t burn as hot.
Yes, you think. It was a good thing you helped her out back with Maria. Any other maid wouldn’t be able to withstand Dion’s presence more than her. Not batting an eye right after greeting him and yet, you don’t sense any hostility from him towards Hana.
Unlike with the guards from last night.
How… odd.
Oh. right. Dion was the one who assigned her to you. Meaning most likely he didn’t have any animosity towards her. Then, it hits you -
There’s a reason she’s here.
You bite your lip, holding back a cold shiver that threatens to crawl down your spine. No. Right now isn’t the time to think about such things. Right now is the time to thank her with a small smile, hoping your eyes aren’t showing your worries.
“O-oh,” you gesture to the candy with your head, “if I may ask, where did the candy come from?”
“Ah, yes. Young Master Jeremy requested that I give them to you. To take away the sour taste.”
“Oh. He’s sweet. But what does he mean by ‘sour taste?” Your gut tells you that it concerns Dion. Your guess is confirmed when Hana glances at him, figuring out a way to explain without offending the man.
Your husband decides to answer in her stead.
“His new hobby is butting in with things that don’t concern him.” Clearly annoyed, your husband eyes them, scarlet narrowing into slits. Despite this, he doesn’t make a move to dispose of them or send them back.
His answer implies that the candy serves as a ‘fuck you’ to his older half-brother. Wait, doesn’t this mean that Jeremy waited for Hana? Or was it just a coincidence they crossed paths?
“He’s been carrying candy with him for a while now,” Dion says like he just read your mind. His boots echo in the room until he’s standing at your side once more. His scent makes your nerves go into overdrive, gulping down a cry for help. When Hana turns back around to take her leave, you offer a wavering smile.
“Thank you, Hana… oh, later today can you help me pick out a small gift for him? As thanks for the candy.” Truthfully, you don’t want to see the youth. His big eyes filled with an adoration held for a sibling is misdirected at you - be it for a test or a craving for something that is vastly different from what is brewed in this family.
You hate how it reminds you of the sassy twelve-year-old who sneaks into your room in the early morning. Of how it reminds you of the way your own brother would buzz around you like a bee when he was done with his tasks for the day, or simply didn’t want to be alone, his stupid grin, his stupid remarks that made your eye twitch and -
… you miss Zac.
“Yes, My Lady. I am ready whenever you are.”
She hesitates before leaving, glancing at Dion and then at you. In the end she bows her head, carrying the silver tray with her. It becomes quiet when the door shuts behind her.
A rabbit left alone with the wolf.
Fuck… I should have gone with Hana, you lament, the opportunity that once presented itself was now gone in the blink of an eye.
“You seem close.” Dion states after observing your short interaction. “It does hurt a bit that my own wife is close with everyone else but me.” He teases, but something akin to ‘hurt’ lays barely hidden in his words.
Hah. Sucks to suck.
“... arranged wife.” Murmuring under your breath, you ignore the way his body twitches at your addition. Surely this man isn’t under the impression that you have begun to open up to the idea of accepting him merely because you let him have a few fleeting touches here and there. Or having silly ‘hope’ or an expectation that you will fall into his lap at some point in the future.
Whatever reason he had for keeping you was still a mystery. You could only guess, but every one only spelled imprisonment and suffering on your behalf.
“Right.” Dion doesn’t say anything else, but looks at you instead. A bit passes before he opens his mouth again, delivering news that makes your skin crawl at the implication yet soothes one of your worries.
“Father plans on putting you on conceptions starting tonight.” He delivers it so bluntly you almost mistook it for a joke.
“Oh,” you say, somewhat grateful while extremely disgusted at the implied nightly activities your father-in-law presumes you engage in with his son. At least this means he doesn’t expect a grandchild anytime soon. “That’s… fine. Great, even.”
Your husband doesn’t react to your relief of not having to bear his child just yet. Like he expected it - a quick glance and it doesn’t even look like he was bothered by it. Perhaps the thought of a child might upset him to a degree - after all, having a child would mean all of your attention would be on them and not him.
It’s clear he’s not fond of sharing. Even so, you can’t help but frown at how jealous he can be. Possessive or not, one should not be jealous of their own child receiving attention that they need.
Silence resumes. Fidgeting with your fingers, you do your best to ignore the strong effort it takes to breathe in a single breath. You should make an excuse to leave. Call for Hana and start to look for a gift for Jeremy. Lie and say you feel sick, kicking him out.
Anything. Anything to avoid his burning gaze, to get out of his presence that chokes you. To escape the one place he always seems to corner you in, behind closed doors as longing touches grazes your skin, with the only time he leaves you alone completely is when you’re laying down on the bed meant for two.
Instead all you do is stay in place. In place while your husband looks like he’s ready to pounce on you - either in a sexual or ‘loving’ manner, it doesn’t matter. Both make you want to vomit. Alias, it’s not like you will always be able to avoid intimate touches forever. Lust is a state that many feel and sometimes give into, and considering he had a few erections, it’s clear that, unfortunately, he is one of them who feels it.
The only thing you’re willing to offer are your hands or mouth. You’ll even swallow if it means he doesn’t try to escalate things further and penetrate you.
“... you’re… you’re staring ra-rather hard.” Your voice cracks. It doesn’t even sound like yours, it sounds like a dying woman’s.
Ever so gently, hesitance obvious in his actions, one of his hands cups your cheek. You jolt, startled at his cold touch. He feels like a dead person. These same hands that hold you ‘lovingly’ are the same hands that have strangled the life out of numerous victims, enemies and family members alike.
Goosebumps form on your skin. You’re starting to feel like a corpse, your lifeforce slowly draining away at his touch.
Frozen, you can’t react as he lifts your chin up, and your eyebrows furrow in dread and eyes widen in fear when you see how soft his expression is. Like this ‘side’ of him was reserved for you and you alone.
Your husband opens his mouth only to close it. And when he does decide to talk, he says -
“You’re beautiful.”
You laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh, crazed as you stumble away from him. You shake your head violently. He’s crazy, this is insane, he shouldn’t be like this. None of this should be happening.
He shouldn’t be playing house with you, he should be obsessing over his sister. He shouldn’t be here, gentle, instead he should be on the battlefield, acting as either Lant’s or Roxana’s dog depending on the timeline. He shouldn’t be spewing out nonsense, he should be out-performing everyone in this household.
He shouldn’t be involved with anything ‘romantic’ or sexual.
“St-stop. Stop. Just - please, just stop. I-I ca-can’t take much more of this.” You keep walking backwards until you hit the edge of the bed. Your body becomes heavy and falls onto the mattress, a creak echoing in the bedroom.
“... you drive me insane.” He should leave you alone. Walk out the doors and let you have alone time. But his feet start moving before he even thinks about anything else. Like a moth to the flame, he burns himself while fanning your flames, embers spitting out.
Dion stops right in front of you, gets on one of his knees. Your husband takes one of your hands into his and you almost throw up on the spot. Your nerves are wrecked and fried, and for a moment, you think that you’re in an awful, awful nightmare.
Dion knows he should walk away. But you’re a magnet he’s drawn to and despite his efforts, he only scares you instead of giving you peace. Giving you more reasons to detest him than ‘love’ him.
He knows he should back off. Maybe leave with a kiss to the back of your hand, as suggested by Ash. Instead he’s doing everything that the doctor advised against, needing to swallow you whole.
He really is a horrible husband.
Still, you’re just so -
“You drive me insane. I’ll bark if you tell me to, if it means you’ll finally look my way.”
= = =
tag list: @tiny-mimi @umi-adxhira @pix-stuff @queenofspades403 @manitscold @s-ajia @disappointment-san @darkumbreon92 @puggyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee @rentaldarling
#yandere x reader#twtptflob#the way to protect the female leads older brother#dion agriche#dion agriche x reader#yandere dion agriche#yandere dion agriche x reader#deon agrece#yandere twtptflob#twtptflob x reader#yandere the way to protect the female leads older brother#roxana#jeremy agriche#yandere male
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hello!! Can you write a headcanons/oneshot post of (separate) ticci toby, eyeless jack, and/or jane the killer dating a piercing obsessed! Reader? Ppl always say lots of piercings r unattractive :(( but omgg i love ppl with lots of piercings, theyre so lovely! Thank youu:D
𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞
(𝗻.) 𝗔 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀
: ̗̀➛ Piercing!Reader x Shared Headcanons
(Toby, Jack, Jane)
Summary: GN!Reader with love for piercings/having multiple being in a relationship with Toby, Jack and Jane. How would they react?
Warning(s): None! Mostly just fluff, FEM & TRANSF in mind for Jane
・❥・ Toby
First of all, Toby himself is covered in a lot of facial piercings so he is not one to judge! He loves piercings, especially on himself (egotistical asshole knows how sexy he is), so if you love them just as much him, he immediately just yaps with you
Do not trust him to give you one.
Now if you really like piercings but hate needles? He definitely bullies you about it some but understands. Since he can’t feel pain he can feel a lot of the pressures/intrusions that the pain usually covers up and it can weird him out
He plays with your piercings like a lot. Mostly nervous fidgeting type things
OMG DO YOU HAVE TO STAY ONTOP OF HIM IF HE GETS A NEW ONE, he is so bad at taking care of them himself but he’s so good about taking care of yours. Little weirdo
Now, Toby can be mean during fights so sometimes if he’s close enough he’ll twist one. Petty little shit. But he is quick to apologize, he just likes winning arguments
・❥・Jack
Jack like.. literally cannot see. So he genuinely just thinks your piercings are apart of you. Like he really doesn’t remember things of humans and so he completely forgot about minuscule things like piercings
He does like licking them tho, that nice metal taste
Weirdo.
Once you actually explain it he’s a little perplexed. Since he’s an apex predator usually they associate things like anything piercing you as hindrance to hunts
But whatever makes you happy!
Since Jack does live in a lot of holes/caves you probably are gonna wanna let your piercings heal a lot or just clean them a lot more so the dust and dirt doesn’t infect/irritate them
If you wanna give Jack piercings well.. it’s gonna have to be like a really protected spot. He’s running around and climbing lots of trees not to mention how many people actually do try fighting a 6’10 demon..creature…thingy. So you don’t want him getting hurt
That and his healing factor literally is just too good at its job. Damn powers. But hey you can get those little fake ones! He’ll try to keep them on but…
・❥・Jane
Again! She doesn’t judge. She thinks they’re pretty cool, now she can’t have any cause.. well.. she’s a little crispy but! She will wear matching fake ones with you
Definitely best person to get a nice piercing with as she helps you clean and stay on top of them
She bought you a little machine thingy to clean them for you<3
She does actually have her ears pierced but she can’t wear them for long any more :(
She is also stupidly good at finding missing earrings, piercings and jewelry like omg. Like I mean fucking assassin’s creed eagle vision type shit
She’s good in general at findings things really
Omg does she love kissing your piercings <3 she especially likes nose piercings, JANE IS A NOSE KISSER IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS
my romantical wife<3
She will buy rings and necklaces to match your piercings too! She’s pierced with you in spirit ya know
: ̗̀➛ hehe i loved this. I gotta write Jane and the others their own general headcanons soon, I’m just lazy. Also tell me why Chapter 3 is not plotting how I want it too like come on brain work, anyways I loved this little ask! I have got to start writing more of other characters too I have like… 18 drafts of all sorts of shit. Impulsive writing — Ace
#creepypasta headcanons#creepypasta x reader#ticci toby x reader#creepypasta ticci toby#ticci toby#eyeless jack x reader#creepypasta#eyeless jack#creepypasta eyeless jack#jane the killer#jane the killer x reader#creepypasta jane the killer
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Get to know your moots!
Thank you for the tag, @djarinmuse! I love these little questionnaires 😊. Challenging myself to be more succinct in my answers for once (yeeeah, don’t all hold your breath 😅)
What’s the origin of your blog title?
In a stunning lack of originality, I just used my writing pseudonym for my blog title: Jyar’ika. If it’s not obvious, that’s the Mando’a word cyar’ika (sweetheart) with a J for Jem replacing the C. It’s pronounced JAH-ree-kah, with emphasis on the first syllable (like Jessica or Erika). And on my sideblog, since it’s a rec blog, I’ve just titled it “Jyar’ika enjoyed…” because apparently WYSIWYG with me 🤗.
OTP(s) + shipname:
Oh man, there’ve been many over the years. I was an early X-Files fan, so MSR in real-time, of course. I shipped both Bangel and Spuffy at different points. Big on Polivia in the first few seasons of Fringe (when I discovered fanfiction existed). Fell completely down the fanfic rabbit hole with Carter/O’Neill from Stargate SG-1 (who unsatisfyingly never seemed to get a portmanteau ship name). Those are probably the main ones.
Favourite colour:
Teal; all shades thereof.
Favourite game:
It’s gotta be the old point n’ click PC games I played as a kid in the 90s, but I can’t pick one favourite. Big fan of the Monkey Island games, the Indiana Jones games, Maniac Mansion and Day of the Tentacle – basically anything LucasArts. Also, every game in the Broken Sword series, the Gabriel Knight series, and the Tex Murphy series. These are a fraction of the titles I played and loved.
Song stuck in your head:
I was doom-scrolling on Twitter the other day and saw (didn’t even hear!) a tweet saying Take That’s song ‘Shine’ was released 18 years ago, and it’s so iconic that my brain immediately played it to me. It’s been in there for days now! I was recently shocked and saddened to learn that most Americans don’t know about Take That 😱😭. I was never a massive fan or anything, but they are UK pop legends.
Weirdest habit/trait:
People at work think it’s weird that I don’t like speaking on the phone. If I have to have a phone call, I need to know what time it’ll be so I can prepare. But it’s because, without a visual of the other person, I find reading between the lines of neurotypical conversation more difficult. I can do it, but it’s an effort, and I need time to prepare for that kind of brain-taxing interaction.
Hobbies:
The Mandalorian, duh. Writing fics about it, mainly.
If you work, what’s your profession?
I’m in criminal law, basically doing the lawyers’ jobs for them because I have a critical eye for detail and can catch stuff they miss when preparing cases. But I never did my LPC, so I don’t have to go to court and do all the scary legal argument stuff. Win.
If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?
Author of a well-loved fiction series. I aim to make this happen one day, though at the rate I’m going, I’ll probably be retired when it finally happens! It comforts me to know that Douglas Adams always found writing to be a slow and arduous process, too.
Something you’re good at:
The English language, I guess. I have a good understanding of the technical side of writing.
Something you’re bad at:
In contrast to the above, the poetry of writing. I often struggle to ensure my writing is sufficiently dynamic and beautiful, and I have to go over things many times to try and inject more soul into my words. I’m glad I’m aware of this weakness, though – every day’s a school day, and there’s plenty of time and space to improve.
Something you love:
The Mandalorian, duh. Specifically Din Djarin.
Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:
The Mandalorian, duh. Specifically Din Djarin.
Something you hate:
I try not to hate; this world needs more love. And if I can’t avoid hating, I do it quietly and won’t share it. So, I’ll pass on this question, thanks.
Something you collect:
Words. I love learning new ones. I love learning additional definitions and nuances of ones I already know. I can never have enough words.
Something you forget:
The time. Seriously, I have no sense of time whatsoever and am late for everything. I’ve just looked at the clock and realised it’s coming up 6:00am, and I haven’t gone to bed yet because I didn’t realise how late it is.
What’s your love language?
Of the five, mine is definitely the ‘acts of service’ one. I show love by trying to ease the burdens of others, and I feel loved when people do the same for me. At the other end of the scale is the ‘receiving gifts’ one… I can’t pick out gifts to save my life, and I always feel awkward receiving a gift I haven’t asked for and don’t need. Gifts are almost a hate language for me!
Favourite movie/show:
The Mandalorian, duh.
Favourite food:
I’m gonna say pizza. I don’t get to have it much anymore because I’m eating healthier these days, but I still indulge in the occasional Domino’s order.
Favourite animal:
Can I say Din Djarin when he’s been dosed with sex pollen? 😏
Are you musical?
I guess this is a yes because I’ve played a variety of musical instruments since the age of 5 (starting with the humble recorder, then violin, piano, guitar and other random stuff like the harmonica and ukulele) and was in choirs for the whole of my childhood and adolescence. I performed in several big shows, including a performance at the Royal Albert Hall of Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana (even if you don’t know the name, you’ll likely know one particular movement of the cantata; it’s been overused in ads, etc). But it’s been years since I played or sang anything, so maybe notsomuch anymore.
What were you like as a child?
As a very young child: unknowingly autistic. This mainly manifested in me ruining family vacations by refusing to step foot on a beach if there was any sign of seaweed, or enter a restaurant with ceiling fans, or get in a swimming pool if there was a mosaic on the pool floor. Anything outside my regular routine was terrifying to me, but nobody knew about autism in the 80s, so my parents just thought I was overly sensitive. I learned how to mask pretty early, though, so by the time I went to school, I’d figured out how to fit in. Despite that, I was always the kid who had intense hyperfixations (boys, TV shows, bands, hobbies). I still am, really!
Favourite subject at school?
English literature. Fiction was (and still is) my happy place. I also had a massive crush on my maths teacher when I was 13-14, so I was a maths nerd for a whole year. I still remember the quadratic equation!
Least favourite subject?
Religious education. It was the one subject I failed my exams in, mainly because I’m an atheist, and as a kid, I couldn’t see the point of learning about something I didn’t believe in. Later, I realised that exploring different worldviews helps us better understand ourselves and how to respect and appreciate diversity, so as an adult, I’ve made an effort to make up for my childish ignorance by learning as much as possible.
What’s your best character trait?
My autism. It heightens my attention to detail and makes me especially concerned about others’ happiness and well-being.
What’s your worst character trait?
My autism. It frustrates neurotypicals who don’t understand why I act or respond in particular ways.
If you could change any detail of your day right now, what would it be?
I would’ve gone to bed earlier. It’s 6:31am, and I’m tired.
If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?
I’m not interested in going backwards, so nobody really. I’d probably go forward simply to check that the world didn’t end and that the USA didn’t turn into the Free American Independent Theocratic Hegemony (F.A.I.T.H.) or anything. (That’s a Bobiverse reference for anyone who’s never read Dennis E. Taylor… which, TBF, is probably most of you since his novels are pretty niche. I recommend reading them, though – super fun and packed with geeky pop culture references).
Recommend one of your favourite fanfics (spread the love!):
I finally got around to reading You Were Marked by @handspunyarns last week, and let me tell you, I could not stop binging it. It’s been a long time since I was last addicted to a fic to this degree. I’d had it on my TBR list for a while, but I’d prioritised others because I wasn’t sure if it would resonate with me since I don’t see any of myself in the main character… but boy, was I wrong! It’s extraordinary, compelling, and at times heartbreaking and agonising, but so well-written with exquisite worldbuilding and a daringly original plot, all of which seared it into my mind forever because I’ve never read anything like it. I implore you all to try it if you haven’t already. It’s a masterpiece 💜.
I usually check to see if the people I tag have already done the game, but I’ve really gotta sleep, so I’m just gonna tag at random here. I’m really sorry if any of you have done this already.
@604to647 @cheekychaos28 @cw80831 @darthbeebles @desert-fern
@dindenimchicken @frickatives @here-briefly @ishabull @jessthebaker
@lilac-boo @mosssbawls @nervoushottee @papurgaatika @qunariagenda
@roughdaysandart @the-color-is-black @the-mandawhor1an @toomanytookas @zaddymandalorian
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