#will not be posting my pic with her though but it will be going on my fridge
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floweringanna · 2 days ago
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Sweetest Win
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Baker YouTuber! Reader
Summary: You’re a baker youtuber who does vlogs on the side your friend convinces you to come to the paddock
Warnings: not proof read
Notes: First smau!! Hope you guys enjoy! Requests are open and comment or reblog if you liked it :D
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Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Yourfriend, Rosannapansino, and 15,728 more
Yourusername last cooking video before we go on vlog break! I’m so glad to say we’ll be on some new adventures this year! 🏁
yourfriend this is going to be so fun💕
user72 the checkered flag???
throughgoeshamilton are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?
f1fan my worlds are colliding
candyman mother is mothering
user12 oh to be fed by y/n
user199 why’s this so real?
Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Yourfriend, Maxverstappen1, and 45,383 others
Yourusername Made it to the paddock? I brought some snacks for the drivers (not quite sure if they can eat them though)
user26 SHES IN BELGIUM SHES IN BELGIUM
yourfriend The muffins were great!
yourusername you ate like half of them😕
yourfriend they were, good what can I say?
user83 Arianna what are you doing here? (max)
user44 ohhhh he lurkin
user12 I smell love
user44 go back to bed grandma
user27 I want those muffins so bad🤤
Danielricciardo Can you make me more muffins?
yourusername of course Danny✨
Danielricciardo yay! 😊
Maxverstappen1 posted to their story!
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Text messages!
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Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Maxverstappen1, Danielricciardo, Yourfriend and 45,383 others Yourusername Last night in Belgium 🥂
user83 IS THAT MAX VERSTAPPEN I SEE!?!?!
user 12 nurse shes out again
user83 CAN YOU LET ME DREAM?
Danielricciardo I need an arm like that
user65 he’s so messy😭
user82 it’s the instigation for me
yourfriend didnt even take me along how rude
landonoriss ill take you
yourfriend 👀
user1 WHAT.
user03 SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THIS???
f1fan max still lurking in those likes i see
user76 ikr
Maxverstappen1 posted!
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Maxverstappen1 It's good to be back in my hometown
user83 I CANT be the only one seeing it
user11 please go take your pills
danielricciardo the sneak in second picture
user44 WHAT IM SAYIN
user67 not Daniel throwing Max under the bus 😭😭😭
user8 welcome back max!!
user93 he looks so fine in that first pic
Danielricciardo hey I know that hand!
user74 DANNY PLEASE💀💀💀
user37 IM ACTUALLY CRYING
Yourusername posted on their story!
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Twitter!
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user83 i could almost be surprised
happytail it looks like hes bagged a baddie i fear
mollytwin that shouldve been me
parkedcar well theres always charles
user02 who even is she bruh
maxineupd probably that y/n girl
Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Maxverstappen1, Yourfriend, Danielricciardo, and 56,248 others
Yourusername It's nice to have someone else to the baking for once <3
user78 the soft launching from these two
user43 pov half the grid is in the likes
maxverstappen1 baking isn't as easy as you make it look
yourusername well i could have told you that
maxverstappen1 teach me again sometime?
yourusername of course <3
user83 MY PARENTS
user12 not her making him do things for her
user67 please go touch some grass
Maxverstappen1 posted!
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Maxverstappen1 Sweetest home race win thanks to my lucky charm
yourusername congrats lieverd, im so proud of you ❤️❤️
maxverstappen1 couldnt have done it without you knapperd
user02 them calling each other dutch endearments is my new roman empire
Danielricciardo congrats love birds 🥳
user83 AND THEY ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY
user12 and you still are (just happen to be correct)
yourfriend you better treat her right Verstappen
maxverstappen1 🫡
Yourusername posted!
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Yourusername i guess things are sweeter with you
maxverstappen1 nothing can be as sweet as you liefde
yourusername 🥰
landonorris @.yourfriend are you going to make me sweets too?
yourfriend keep dreaming Norris 🙄
user01 are we seriously just going to keep glazing over this??
user33 to be her right now
user56 oh to be her right now
Danielricciardo I’m invited to the double dates right?
yourusername of course Danny, can’t forget our wingman
user93 the way he’d been hinting since the beginning
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threeacttragedy · 3 days ago
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Entry 9: The One Where You Choose Your Own Brazilian Adventure
My planned post – the “In Dedication of JVN” one where I fangirl over Jonathan Van Ness and what a fun and interesting piece of the Lukola puzzle he is – was derailed today because I was once again asked about Brazil. Well, more specifically, I was asked about whether I thought we were ever going to get those steamy, hopefully X-rated pictures, from Brazil. There’s pictures?!
In truth, I thought we’d collectively squeezed that grapefruit dry and left the rind somewhere between Italy and the Glamour Awards.
Alas, here I am writing about Brazil.
It’s funny because I’ve never thought much about Brazil. I know, I know! How could I possibly type those words without my nose growing six inches in front of my face? Well, it’s because it was always Australia that intrigued me. More on that later…
So why exactly do we believe there are pictures from Brazil? And, why do we think they are going to prove some kind of hot affair between Luke and Nicola? This theory is likely fueled by rumor; rumor born from how Luke and Nicola behaved towards each other while they were in Brazil.
I thought it would be fun to play a little game of “Choose Your Own Adventure” to determine if we’re ever going to see these alleged pictures. And, yes, I will be a very sarcastic bitch when doing this.
Before I start, though, I want to give a quick shout out to my dear friend, whom I shall call The-One-Who-Drops-Random-Pics-Into-Our-Group-Chat-and-Lets-Us-Sweat-Over-Them-for-Atleast-Three-Minutes-Before-Finally-Explaining-Them. She was a wealth of information about Brazil and even had a nice mother-daughter chat with me about the significance of a clean-shaven face (pardon me for never having dated a bearded man, which is odd because I find facial hair quite attractive).
Now, gather ‘round and I shall give you a little prologue to our adventure!
I’m sure most of you already know all about Brazil. In fact, many of you are probably self-described experts at this point. But, for those who are new here, let me go ahead and light the candles and set the ambiance for you. 
On May 19, Luke and Nicola were shuttled off to do their beach photoshoot in Brazil. You know, the one where Nicola was walking the dogs; Luke was strumming the guitar; Nicola was being all girlfriend-like fixing Luke’s jacket; Luke was gazing up at Nicola at the pub while she was touching his neck; and then there was that moment when we all thought they might kiss. Yeah, all that plus Luke’s scruffy face from the week prior suddenly appeared clean-shaven. Apparently, you can never be too “Casual” when you’re headed down south (pun intended – as was that Chappell Roan reference). And, about now is where I’ll “insert disclaimer that this is speculation only.”
The following day, we had the actual premiere. I’m not sure what those two were up to before the premiere but both were un-fucking-hinged by the time they made it to the red carpet. We had angel-face Nicola looking up at Luke like he had created the universe and Luke answering Nicola’s Little Red Riding Hood vibe with one sexy ass Big Bad Wolf persona. I mean, the bits and bobs that came out of Luke’s mouth that day! “There’s a carriage downstairs.” “I mean, in this heat, all I’m thinking about is when we didn’t have to wear clothes ‘cos that would be quite nice right now.” “I mean the show is proof that it is [okay to kiss your friends].” With Nicola whispering back, “This is true.” Then there was Luke taking that mic without taking his eyes off Nicola. We had Luke helping Nicola put on her bracelets because – God forbid! – she let go of him for 30 seconds to do it her fucking self. And, let’s not forget about the two of them holding on to each other behind that woman’s back (I’m sorry, I don’t recall her name and I’m too lazy to look it up – mainly, because I’m certain most of you don’t really care about that other woman).
We were also given snippets of Luke and Nicola at the premiere afterparty, looking like two people who, at a minimum, enjoyed each other’s company. They greeted fans outside the venue and, as they walked away together, Nicola seemingly put her hand on Luke’s lower back as if to guide him in the right direction (go ahead – let your imagination run wild – it’s a great opening for a FanFic).
Then, throw in the beach walk with the giant security guard; the interview where Nicola was wearing the fluffy pink skirt and the two of them talked about Chappell Roan’s “Kaleidoscope” (seriously, those two were listening to that song together?); Nicola couldn’t stop giggling about the “meat” of the Carriage Scene; and Luke appeared perhaps a smidge too interested in Nicola’s answer about what she looks for in a man (which fit perfectly into Luke’s “Like, how nice is it when someone notices, like, your kindness or your sense of humor?”). And, we can’t ignore them seemingly sharing a tea cup and Luke reaching for Nicola’s spoon after she’d sampled a dish. Don’t even get me started on over-analyzing Luke’s “manspread” that day.
Let’s also not forget about the rumor portion of this Brazilian escapade – because that is what fuels the sexy hot pictures theory and the central plot of our storied adventure.
Rumor has it Luke and Nicola spent a lot of time with each other in Brazil.
By themselves.
In one or the other’s room.
On the beach.
By the pool.
There were also rumors of them making out in the hotel hallway.
The only evidence we have of any “alone time” are some pictures that were dumped on X of them dining together alone, without any other members of their team.
Now that the backdrop has been set, let’s go on my little adventure.
During the summer between my 7th and 8th grade years, I was bored out of my mind. I grew up in the countryside. No neighbors. No sidewalks. No cable! Just fields, wooded areas, and my two sisters, both of whom had no interest in entertaining me that summer. My mother suggested I read. After boredom had dug itself so far into my being that I was left with no choice but to read, I finally ventured over to the bookshelf and grabbed the thinnest book I could find. It was a “Choose Your Own Adventure.”
If you don’t know what a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book is, then you (and your children) are missing out. Basically, you play the role of the protagonist and make choices to determine the outcome of your story. Sometimes you make the right choice and survive; other times you make the wrong choice and get turned into a little mouse that may or may not be eaten by a cat.
Here we go.
As the protagonist of our story, you are:
THE EMPLOYEE
You’re an employee of the hotel Nicola and Luke stayed at while in Brazil. You have sworn to maintain the privacy of hotel guests; you’ve signed a non-disclosure agreement of sorts to protect the privacy of guests, especially since you have access to VIP areas. You can be a housekeeper, a watchman, a concierge, a seven-foot-tall security guard, whatever tickles your fancy. Doesn’t matter – you’re all bound by the same provisions to protect the privacy of the hotel’s guests. But, in this story, let’s say you’re the housekeeper because – what’s that old saying – the only person who knows everything going on in the house is the maid?
You’re cleaning Nicola’s room and you find lots of signs of a man being in the room. In fact, you find a coat that looks exactly like the one Luke was wearing the night of the premiere. Oh my. As you’re leaving, you see two people making out in the hallway – headed straight towards the room you’re just leaving!  It looks like Nicola and Luke. What do you do?
Choice A: Well, you’re a pervy housekeeper so you pull your phone out and start taking pictures. I mean, those two are so into each other, they don’t even notice. You then run and play show-and-tell with your friends because you can’t keep a damn secret. Unfortunately for you, that gossip spreads faster than lice in a preschool, and hotel management tracks your ass down because, guess what, your friends can’t keep a secret either. So, congratulations on being fired. You’re meeting with the lawyers is first thing in the morning. Oh, we also need your phone and the names of all your friends.
Choice B: You respect the privacy of Nicola and Luke and simply turn and walk the opposite direction. Taking photos of them never even crossed your mind! But, damn, what a good story to tell your bestie when you get home, even if you don’t have “receipts.”
THE VIP GUEST
You’re a random guest staying at the hotel. In fact, you’re a random VIP guest staying on the same floor as Nicola and Luke. When you checked in, you signed a non-disclosure agreement. I mean, you want your privacy protected, too! And, heck, NDAs are thrown out like candy these days. You’ve seen so many at this point, you don’t even bother to read them.
You take the elevator up to your floor and, as you step into the hallway, you’re confronted with – goddammit, there’s two motherfuckers all over each other! The guy is trying to slide his key into the door, but the woman’s dress is so awkwardly large, he can’t seem to find the right slot! You realize the people look a lot like those two stars from Bridgerton, and your best friend, Effie, is a huge fan! What do you do?
Choice A: You can’t believe Effie is missing out on this excitement so, of course, you pull your phone out and start taking pictures!! I mean, that NDA you signed didn’t even cross your mind three minutes later when you were forwarding the pictures to Effie! And, because you can’t control what Effie does, she forwards the pictures to all her Bridgie buddies. The next morning you awaken to find the pictures all over X. Oopsie. You feel slightly guilty, and a bit peeved at Effie – but only until you’ve had your morning coffee.
Choice B: You take people’s privacy very seriously. Well, maybe you don’t take it that seriously, but it would be too difficult to dig your phone out of your handbag to take pictures. And, to be honest, Effie is the huge fan, not you. Plus, it seems the guy finally got that door open and damn, based on the sounds of it, he's unlocked something magical. Oh well. You’ll call Effie in the morning to tell her your story, if you remember it.
THE RANDOM STRANGER
You’re a random stranger taking an evening stroll along the beach. You love the sound of the ocean. It’s so peaceful…the sound of the waves… Ugh, what is that noise?! It sounds like – shit, it is! – two people snogging in a cabana about 10 yards away from you. Wait a minute – is that? Yeah, you think it could be! I mean, you were just at the Bridgerton premiere last night! What do you do? Without hesitation, you pull out your phone!
Choice A: You creep behind an umbrella and zoom in as close as possible with your camera! I mean, shite! You can’t believe this! How long have you been filming?  Probably longer than necessary but who cares? Suddenly, you feel a presence behind you, perhaps a seven-foot-tall presence, and you slowly turn around. Fuck! Who’s this guy?! He takes your phone, drops it to the ground, and stomps on it, shattering its insides.  Asshole.  You bend down to pick up the phone, but the man taps your shoulder and shakes his head, “No.” Well, umm, yeah, I guess you best be leaving.
Choice B: You use your camera to zoom in on the couple. Snap! Snap! Snap! Then you get the FUCK OUT OF THERE! You tell yourself you don’t look suspicious at all, even though you’re practically running and your heart is about to pound its way out of your chest! Oh, thank God, you’ve made it to your car. You start it up and, like I said, YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! You get home and take a look at the photos! Goldmine! So, should you drop them on X? Maybe be a little see-you-next-Tuesday and try to sell them to Nicola or Luke’s teams? But, hell, you don’t even know where to start with that! Or, should you just pocket them for your own pleasure? You tell me….
The End.
Yes, I am absolutely being a facetious little ass! The above scenarios were for (the most part) my own entertainment. I mean, there are so many situations where these alleged pictures could exist (these playful ones don’t even scratch the surface). But, do the pictures exist?
If we’re being logical here, you would think that, if anyone in the general public were in possession of these alleged sexy-time pictures of Luke and Nicola, or had seen them, it would be all over social media at this point. I mean, ALL OVER. So, what can we deduce from the fact that they aren’t?
That the pictures probably don’t exist. Don’t shoot the messenger! Seriously, watch where you point that thing!
But, let’s say pictures did exist. Who is the most likely person to dump them on, say, X? The hotel employee, the VIP guest, or the random stranger? I would place money on the random stranger, followed by the VIP guest. The hotel employee, who probably has the most access to VIP guests but the strongest legal barriers, would be the least likely to photo dump. What is the likelihood that someone from one of these three groups – for example, a random stranger – (a) had pictures of Luke and Nicola, (b) didn’t drop them on social media, and/or (c) didn’t share them with someone who dropped them on social media?
I’m all for a good conspiracy theory but I find this one to be a hard pill to swallow.
Maybe one person can act as a lockbox for this kind of secret, but when you start including more people, the ability to keep something (like illicit photographs of two celebrities) out of the public eye diminishes rapidly.
Remember what Benjamin Franklin said, “Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
Unfortunately, this quote is incredibly accurate. The general public cannot keep secrets.
If the pictures exist, they are most likely in the possession of Luke and/or Nicola’s team (of lawyers). So, unless they’re going to sneak them on to X for giggles (I mean, it’s been known to happen), you’re probably never going to see them – and that’s assuming they even exist.
However, if you’re the housekeeper from our first adventure and you happen to have some candid photographs you’re just dying to share, just find yourself a printer – one that cannot easily be linked back to you – and print them out. Then, “accidently” drop them at the feet of someone who knows exactly what they are, and then give them enough time to take their own photos of them and send them to their best friend’s brother’s sister-in-law’s third cousin’s wife’s neighbor, who could drop them on X for us. I mean, you should be golden with seven degrees of separation.
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the-flaneur · 3 days ago
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the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt3
pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]
summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment
warnings: none (i think)
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lewishamilton
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liked by fencer, charles_leclerc, roscoelovescoco and others
lewishamilton Excited to be back home for New Year's. Here's to an amazing 2024!
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user1 LOOKING GOOD SIRRRRRR 😩😩😩
user2 i usually hate manspreading, but the way this man does it is sooooooo sexy user3 literalllyyyyy it's the see through shirt that does it for me though user4 can't wait to see him without his braids, they're the only thing that get me through the winter break 😭😭😭
user5 UGH HOW DOES MONACO HAVE SUCH GOOD WEATHER IN LIKE THE MIDDLE OF WINTER, BRO'S IN A SHORT SLEEVE SHIRT
fencer can't wait to see you brother 💪
user6 yooooo birthday bash hints??? user7 i mean his birthday is pretty soon....maybe we'll see another bro pic hahahaha
user8 happy new years eve from london ❤️
charles_leclerc when are you going to finally invite me out on a yacht trip ☹️
user9 LOL CHARLES ARENT U LITERALLY MONEGASQUE AND RICH - GET UR OWN YACHT 🤣🤣🤣 user10 bro just wants to hang out with the goat
user11 ya'll anyone else catch on y/n's absent comment??? girlie is usually on top with responding to her brother's posts...
user12 yk she doesn't always have to respond right, like she could just be with lewis, or you know...being her own person user13 lmfaooo so real @/user12 user14 but like she's not even given it a like? i wonder where she is... LIKED BY lewishamilton
user15 hopefully mercedes have their car back on track this year, we NEED to see this man win a race 🙌🙌🙌
user16 CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTA POST!!! BIRTHDAY TIMEEEEEE
f1gossipofficial
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f1gossipofficial well well well it looks like an old romance may have been rekindled just before new years!
y/n hamilton and nico rosberg have been seen arguing in y/n's ferrari daytona sp3 in monaco, before engaging in a heated makeout session. are we going to see our first new (honorary) wag of 2024?
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user20 OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
user20 WE ARE SO BACK GUYS
user21 HOLY SHIT MOTHER AND FATHER ARE BACK TOGETHER TRULY MY ROMAN EMPIRE
user22 someone gotta call the ambulance for lewis, he's about to get the biggest heart attack of his life
user23 cant believe their relationship has literally been strangers -> friends -> secret lovers -> enemies -> friends? -> lovers????
user24 that's why they're ICONS 💪💪💪 user25 istg if they go back to being enemies after all this crapshow they've put us through... user26 i think max would rather just shove them in a hotlap with him around spa and then lock them together in a room then face them being enemies again
user27 YA'LL ARE MISSING THE POINT AGAIN, THEY'VE PROBABLY BEEN TOGETHER SINCE BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR
user28 RIGHTTTT 🤨 like are people seriously think they havent contacted each other before this lol user29 nah i think this is legit their first interaction in like eight years - welp didn't take them that long to get BACK together
user30 do you guys need a third??? asking for a friend
user31 bros are not subtle at all 😭 making out in such a recognisable car and city where everyone knows who tf they are 😭😭😭
user32 i forgot how good they look together 😍
user33 watch their kids be pretty as f too
user34 well looks like both hamiltons like rosberg, wonder if thats definitely not at all caused any arguments 😒
user35 well you defs werent around for the great hamilton twitter discourse of 2014... user36 oh yeah forgot about that user37 🤨 someone wanna tell me what that is?
user38 CANT WAIT FOR THEM TO ACTUALLY FINALLY POST EACH OTHER AFTER EIGHT YEARS
user39 i missed the anniversary posts so bad 😍 user40 their cute little dates healed something in me
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mistresscitrusslice · 1 day ago
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Why does the intro end with Jayce and not the sisters?
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Pardon my shitty screenshots. I know I already made a post about the weird things in the intro, but there's even more that I didn't include in that post, and most of it is weird as HELL stuff with Jayce. This whole intro sequence has been weird as hell and I love it.
(I'll put it here since I'm not going to mention it later, but Ekko's first scene in the intro has his shadow as a clock ticking counterclockwise and I love it, but I won't talk about it again since we all pretty much know what that means.)
Last season's intro ended with our two lead women at each other's throats. That's no surprise. The whole show is about them. This one, though, ends with Jayce, a supporting member of the main cast. Matter of fact, he shows up a lot in this intro.
In my other post, I mentioned how his scene in the intro is eerily reminiscent of the moment he met Mel (other than the Council trial) when she shined a flashlight in his and Viktor's eyes in the hallway.
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Could this be an indicator that he is once again meeting someone new who will change his life forever? Or could it be a reintroduction to someone he already knows? It could easily be Mel again, maybe after she's discovered and learned to control her magic? It seems like she wasn't aware of her powers until now. Considering how much the animators love to compare Mel with Viktor, it could just as easily be Viktor after he's gone full Machine Herald. They've already met again in the commune, but maybe they'll meet again when Viktor is more mechanical and Jayce is more... how do I put it politely... sane.
The light in front of Jayce's hand appears twice more, but something tells me it's a different light. Has the light evolved or is it a different light altogether?
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This comes right after Mel on the lounge chair looking at the black rose and right before Viktor putting on the mask (we'll get to that). It is SO much brighter than before, less like a flashlight and more like a spotlight. Jayce's arm is more outstretched, too. It's less reminiscent of the hallway and more reminiscent of the moment he stepped onstage for the Progress Day speech. Bright, burning spotlights that he flinched at. Arm outstretched not only to block the light, but to wave at an audience.
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The light and pose when he ends the intro also has these qualities.
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I know it's a reach, but nothing is ever fucking reaching with this goddamned show.
So what does this mean?? Is it symbolic of the presence of magic in his life? Once a light in the dark, the path to success -- now burning, all-consuming? Is this another hubris metaphor??? I'm so tired of hubris metaphors. Let Man become God!
Seriously, what do you guys make of this? Because I have no clue. I have negative clues. Everything I see only opens new questions.
Okay, on to the Jayvik amalgam. :D
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Who. The fuck. Is this.
Two pics since the camera rotates a bit and idk if the slightly different angle helps at all.
If you look at it from far away, the eyebrow ridge and nose resemble Jayce. If you peer closer, the eyebrow ridge looks more like Viktor's, but the nose still seems like Jayce. This person also looks to be at a healthy weight and has thick thighs, also qualities that Viktor unfortunately does possess. I want to say the hand also looks like Jayce's, but it's hard to tell. The lighting also makes it hard to determine their skin color. All in all, everything about this scene would suggest that the figure is Viktor except for the figure itself.
My gut instinct had me thinking it was Jayce the very first time I saw this intro, but then Viktor showed up with his blanket and mask later in the song and has been in said blanket for most of the show. The lack of purple limbs doesn't mean anything since the sisters also lost their tattoos, Mel lost her gold, and Ekko lost his face paint too.
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And then we have this shot. Whose hand is that? NOT FUCKING VIKTOR'S.
That's Jayce's hand putting Viktor's mask on him. The hand looks like it fits naturally on Viktor's arm.
This could mean that Viktor will be wearing his mask because of Jayce. Partly in a "you see me as a villain, so a villain I will be" kind of way, but maybe also in a self-fulfilling time loops sort of way.
It's obvious that we're not supposed to be able to tell Viktor and Jayce apart in this intro. I even saw someone suggest that the animators made a whole new 3D model that was a mix of them both to be able to get the effect across. They might have also made one for Viktor with Jayce's hand.
This is basically saying that Jayce and Viktor are so deeply intertwined that they can't even be told apart. That's really ironic considering how different and divided they are right now. Could this imply that they'll end up back on the same side by the end?
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radish-club · 2 days ago
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So now that I have finished, I am going to break down my prior knowledge point by point and see where I was right or wrong about my prior knowledge of Worm because being thorough is fun.
Side note: you may be thinking since I've been tagging my liveread posts as "wren wreads worm" that my name is Wren. Nope. I just liked the triple W plus the misspelling. Wren is the name of the robot girl in my profile pic. It was also the pseudonym I used back when I was active(ish) on the Parahumans discord (for the Pact and Pale chats).
Wren Wreads Worm: Where I Was Wright and Wrong about Worm
Big picture: there's alien entities called incubators shards who implant themselves in people and give them powers.
So so the alien entities aren't called Shards like I thought, they are called Entities and the Shards are just their fragments.
I was under the impression that there was, like, a bunch of these aliens that were doing their experiments on earth and each one was implanting themselves into humans. But nope, only really 3 of them important to this story, only 2 came to earth, and only 1 survived initial contact with the planet.
I am not sure how accurate the comparison to the Incubators from PMMM ended up being, but similar enough I guess.
Powers are triggered by traumatic events and are usually themed to said events. There is also an organization called Cauldron who tries to give powers in a controlled manner. Powered beings are called parahumans.
All correct here.
The main character is Taylor. She has the power to control bugs. She was triggered by being bullied in high school. She was shoved into a locker full of used tampons and left there. I don't recall if that was the specific trigger event or just one instance of bullying.
It was the specific trigger.
She wants to be a hero and thinks of herself as a good, well intentioned person but is so so stupid. She goes out to fight crime, and meets up with teenage villains (called the Undersiders??). Against advice of established hero(es) she goes "undercover" with teen villains. In doing so she gets deeper and deeper in. Does like bank robberies or some shit that go badly. People die. And so on.
All true. Though I didn't realize eventually she just fully embraces the villain thing and get outed as "Undercover" during the course of that. I figured kept up her plan to rat them out up until she defected and then started snitching.
At some point she officially joins heroes and there is a time skip but I don't know if these two things happen together.
Kind of?? Not really but close enough. The time skip wasn't all in one piece like I thought either. Just a few months at a time per chapter until it gets the last year, year and a half out the way in one go.
Halfwayish through the book there is a big fight with a creature called Leviathan in which several characters dies (and apparently the author rolled dice to see who would die, so it was possible even Taylor could have died in that fight).
So in my head, the Leviathan fight played a similar roll as what the Behemoth fight ends up playing. A big transitional fight between Taylor as Skitter and Taylor as Weaver.
The way I was figuring it, I think, was that all the Skitter crime boss stuff happened and gradually escalated in an intact Brockton Bay, but then the Leviathan wrecks shit and the experience lead Taylor to defected or something, I am not sure.
But no, it was towards the beginning, if anything. It is the arc that is the transition from Act 1 to Act 2 if you were to break Worm into 3 acts.
At some point in the story Taylor kills several people. These include an established hero (Alexandria?) by suffocating her with bugs and also a baby but for the baby she uses a gun.
All true. I was not aware of her first proper kill in Coil, I'll note.
It was Alexandria that she kills which, as I guess, was a big important event that happened that gets referenced throughout the rest of the book.
The baby killing, however, was NOT as big of a deal as I thought it was going to be. By a good margin too. Like I was imagining there was going to be this build-up over the course of several Arcs about some baby who was going to set off a chain reaction or be dangerous in itself in an immediate sense.
There was going to be debates amongst characters about what do do about it until Taylor finally gets impatient, tracks down said baby, and assassinates it. And then it would be this big awful thing she had done that would be held against her and make her reviled by many.
But no. There is build up in the sense that it is implied that the baby, Aster, COULD be dangerous. And it is implied that she might end up in one of Gray Boy's time wells.
But the actually shooting just kind of happens, with implied motivations, as opposed to explicit ones. And the chapters that follow are for Golem, Aster's brother, who is broken up about it at first. But after that, I am not sure if she is ever mentioned again.
I guess because goes straight into the Jack fight and then Scion attacking immediately after. And not that many people saw it happen. And Taylor is at the point where she is kind of past feeling emotion about such things.
But going on memes and jokes about Taylor's baby killing, I just thought it was going to be a much bigger deal than it was.
There is a parahuman with gold skin who was one of the OG parahumans back in the 80s.
I was both right and wrong here. DWMP is named Scion and he was a cape from the 80s, but he was not a parahuman.
I discussed this in another post, so I won't go as in depth here. Briefly back when I didn't realize there was just one single entity (for all intense and purposes) and shards of said entity but I thought the entities and shards were one in the same and were many in number, I thought Scion was just a regular human who got an Important Shard and also most of his memories wiped.
I don't remember his name but I do remember he is very Dead Wife Man Pain, so let's call him DWMP.
The DWMP aspects came from half remember stories about Worm my wife told me. She used that expression to describe Scion and I got memories jumbled and thought there was some car wreck backstory or something.
DWMP has a fateful conversation with a villain named Jack Slash. Slash convinces him to destroy the world. Maybe also other realities too??
He does have that conversation with Jack Slash and he does begin destroying the world because of it. I didn't know the Jack Slash connection would be broadcasted within the story itself, long before via Dinah's precognition. I thought that was neat and felt special and in on the secret (this is why I don't mind spoilers for stuff).
And yeah, he does attempt to destroy multiple earths in multiple realities, but that isn't really part of the conversation.
(or maybe the same conversation is happening on multiple realities with multiple Slashes and DWMPs??)
The same conversation wasn't happening in multiple realities. And there is only 1 Scion for all the different realities. So no idea where that part came from.
There's apocalyptic event and Taylor gets someone (Amy/Panacea, I think) to enhance/alter her power so she can jump between realities. She then begins to gather parahumans from differently realities into a team to come together and take out DWMP with the power of teamwork and a giant laser.
Correct about apocalypse and that it was Amy.
But see, I thought the power enhancement was the reality hoping itself. I didn't realize that she got the power to literally control people.
So here I was thinking the climax was going to be her jumping through realities talking to and convincing alternate earth capes to join her cause and then they were all gonna rally together and fight Scion.
What ACTUALLY happened was so so so much better. She becomes a monster and begins controlling people, namely other parahumans. She controls a portal making parahuman to help extend her range and forcible recruit literally 1000s of people to fight and die against Scion.
This represents culmination of her continually increasing unethical actions for the "great good" and the final betrayal of her previously held morals.
Basically the "power of friendship" is funny in retrospect since I meant it somewhat sincerely.
Spot on about the giant laser. There was a giant laser. It is was killed Scion in the end.
They are not able to save the world they are currently on but a portion of Earth's population are evacuated from their current reality to an Earth with no humans where Ward takes place. One of these two earths is called Earth Bet.
Earth Bet is the main earth for our purposes. It wasn't as thoroughly destroyed as I assumed. Like folks are still rebuilding and live there. I am not sure how much of the population is spread amongst the various worlds.
From what I understand the afformentioned humanless world (Gimel) is where Ward takes place mostly or completely but I can only imagine there is some crossing over.
No idea what happens in-between. If folks continue to live on Bet, and so on.
Taylor's fate is left ambiguous. She maybe dies, she maybe fucks off to another reality. Maybe she become meguca idk.
And this part annoys me. It's is not ambiguous in the way I thought.
Like at first its pretty unambiguous. Contessa shoots and kills Taylor, ending her narration. It's great, I like that.
But then you have that epilogue about her fucking off to the other reality. It's somewhat implied to be fake given Tattletale's dialogue and the fact that her (presumably) dead dad is there. But the phrase "Gold Morning" is used. And the whole thing doesn't feel "dreamlike."
I get that the author SAYS it's supposed to be just a dream that happens while she's dying (I think that's true, correct me if I am wrong). And while I like to think that is the case myself, what he wrote isn't very good at getting that across.
And it's not even that good of a chapter (Tattletale parts are fine) to justify it being there, even as a dream. I feel if the last we see of Taylor is her getting shot, that would have been great. The final epilogue stuff felt forced and I didn't like it.
Other Notes:
-Taylor goes by 3 names: Skitter, Weaver, and Khepri
Partially true. She briefly goes by the temporary name of Bug prior to Gallant naming her Skitter after the bank robbery. Also I did not realize how little the Khepri name gets used in book.
-There a suite of powers called the Alexandrian Package bc they are the ones the parahuman Alexandria has. I think they are flight, semi-invulnerability, and strength (or maybe one of those is energy blasts)
True but this term only gets mentioned once maybe twice in the Worm. Maybe it comes up more in Ward or Weaverdice or something.
-there is a character named Bitch whose power is turning dogs into monster dogs. Media calls her Hellhound to be less controversial and she hates that
True
-There are sisters named Victoria (Glory Girl) and Amy (Panacea) the former of who is the protagonist of Ward. Amy turns Victoria into a Cronenberg at some point. Their relationship and respective characterizations across both books is a point of great controversy among fans. To put it lightly.
True. Though I did think Victoria would be put back together again within the text of Worm.
There was a scene and her being presented to Amy (I am guessing) to be fixed while Taylor is being lead through her banishment portal, which was kind of out of place to be honest. Like, I know Taylor saw Cronenberg Victoria via the clairvoyant when searching for heroes but did she collect her? If so, why? And if not did someone choose that moment, immediately after the fighting finished to take care of this. It was an awkward moment.
-There is a character named Lab Rat who died(?) but he, in the form of one of his clones, comes back in Ward as a guy named Chris.
As far as Worm goes, the part about Lab Rat dying is true. And if I remember correctly, the thing he threw over the side of the oil rig was his clone. And I haven't read Ward but I am pretty sure said clone became the character Chris.
-Browbeat's fate was ambiguous, so him secretly being this or that character in Ward became a meme. Because the author hates fun memes, he went back and changed Worm so BB unambiguously died.
Not much more to say here. The death was changed to be unambiguous.
Numbers Man is hung
Described as wearing just a shirt and glasses. Surely, what the author meant was that he was wearing no pants because of his monster dong.
I know Brian and Alec die but not exactly how or when.
Both true, though the story really take it's time before confirming Brian's death. Not a criticism, just wasn't expected.
I think Danny dies too but I'm not sure.
It's never confirmed but heavily implied.
I'm pretty sure Lisa and Rachel make it to Ward but I'm not sure about Aisha. I don't think she dies though.
They all make it.
I know there is going to be a jailbreak at the Birdcage at some point but I don't know the particulars.
Kind of true?? But not in the way I thought. I thought the inmates mount a jailbreak and that is how Marquis, Lung, Amy, etc get out. But no, pretty much all the named inmates are let out to help fight Scion. Taylor breaks the remaining inmates out during her run as Khepri, if you want to call that a jailbreak.
Taylor loses an arm at some point
Twice actually. Once at the oil rig (along with her lower half) but gets it regrown. Then again when it is crushed by Sveta and then removed by Lung (at her request). That gets healed over but never replaced.
It may be a few weeks before I start, but I'm probably gonna finally read Worm here soon. May even do a liveread if I feel like it.
I already know several of the major plot points BUT I I'm probably wrong in many places (as I was with Pact).
So before I start, I wanted to write a synopsis of what I think I know about Worm. This way I can refer back to this post and see how much I got wrong, what major things I was missing, etc.
What Worm is About (by someone who hasn't read Worm)
Big picture: there's alien entities called incubators shards who implant themselves in people and give them powers. Powers are triggered by traumatic events and are usually themed to said events. There is also an organization called Cauldron who tries to give powers in a controlled manner. Powered beings are called parahumans.
The main character is Taylor. She has the power to control bugs. She was triggerd by being bullied in high school. She was shoved into a locker full of used tampons and left there. I don't recall if that was the specific trigger event or just one instance of bullying.
She wants to be a hero and thinks of herself as a good, well intentioned person but is so so stupid. She goes out to fight crime, and meets up with teenage villains (called the Undersiders??). Against advice of established hero(es) she goes "undercover" with teen villains.
In doing so she gets deeper and deeper in. Does like bank robberies or some shit that go badly. People die. And so on.
At some point she officially joins heroes and there is a time skip but I don't know if these two things happen together.
Halfwayish through the book there is a big fight with a creature called Levithan in which several characters dies (and apparently the author rolled dice to see who would die, so it was possible even Taylor could have died in that fight).
At some point in the story Taylor kills several people. These include an established hero (Alexandria?) by suffocating her with bugs and also a baby but for the baby she uses a gun.
There is a parahuman with gold skin who was one of the OG parahumans back in the 80s. I don't remember his name but I do remember he is very Dead Wife Man Pain, so let's call him DWMP. DWMP has a fateful conversation with a villain named Jack Slash. Slash convinces him to destroy the world. Maybe alos other realities too?? (or maybe the same conversation is happening on multiple realities with multiple Slashes and DWMPs??)
There's apocalyptic event and Taylor gets someone (Amy/Panacea, I think) to enhance/alter her power so she can jump between realities. She then begins to gather parahumans from differently realities into a team to come together and take out DWMP with the power of teamwork and a giant laser.
They are not able to save the world they are currently on but a portion of Earth's population are evacuated from their current reality to an Earth with no humans where Ward takes place. One of these two earths is called Earth Bet.
Taylor's fate is left ambiguous. She maybe dies, she maybe fucks off to another reality. Maybe she become meguca idk.
Other Notes:
Taylor goes by 3 names: Skitter, Weaver, and Khepri
There a suite of powers called the Alexandrian Package bc they are the ones the parahuman Alexandria has. I think they are flight, semi-invulnerability, and strength (or maybe one of those is energy blasts)
there is a character named Bitch whose power is turning dogs into monster dogs. Media calls her Hellhound to be less controversial and she hates that.
There are sisters named Victoria (Glory Girl) and Amy (Panacea) the former of who is the protagonist of Ward. Amy turns Victoria into a Cronenberg at some point. Their relationship and respective characterizations across both books is a point of great controversy among fans. To put it lightly.
There is a character named Lab Rat who died(?) but he, in the form of one of his clones, comes back in Ward as a guy named Chris.
Browbeat's fate was ambiguous, so him secretly being this or that character in Ward became a meme. Because the author hates fun memes, he went back and changed Worm so BB unambiguously died.
Numbers Man is hung
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the-100-days-of-junkan · 16 hours ago
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Day 53
Alright so I’m gonna level with you. 
I REALLY wanted to do a V3 based pic for this day. However at the time I couldn’t for the life of me come up with an actual idea for it.
I think it’s because I was very tunnel visioned on specifically trying to do something with Junko Enoshima the 53rd, for very obvious reasons. This was back before I really had any opinions on Tsumugi, at that point the space she held in my brain was “Unique Antagonist that shows up semi-often in Junkan Fics.”
Which isn’t like, the best way one could view the character I can imagine. Though she had it better than Yasuke at least I didn’t even know who he was outside of occasionally appearing in these fics until like, somewhere in the first month of Project Production. I’ve never read DR0, someday though. someday. 
Anyway back to Tsumugi, mostly thanks to the local bandit, I’ve come to appreciate the character a lot more. I’m not like, an expert on the character. I'm still kind of feeling things out purely through osmosis, i’m not really an expert on nothing. However I like her a lot more than I used to, which means I have hindsight.
If I was making Day 53 right now I would probably just make some kind of art about Tsumugi being a Junkan Shipper. We’ve all given characters headcanon based on ourselves before, gender, sexuality, personal experiences, that weird clicking thing you can do with your thumb (or is that just me?), we love to impart aspects of ourselves onto these characters. 
And when the hell else am I going to headcanon such a specific fuckin’ aspect of myself such as “I ship Junkan” onto a character? It’s Tsumugi or nothing.
Honestly I’m not gonna guarantee but I might actually just make a pic based on what I’m currently thinking for a Tsumugi Themed Junkan art, and just, posted the same day as this one? If I do i’ll schedule it in advance to post like, an hour or two after this one. Enjoy the suspense of whether I actually did that or not! 
Oh, and I actually edited this image a bit. Both because I thought Junko's face just looked, bad in this. But also for reasons I'm not gonna bother getting into right now. However as a result we got this funny bit during the editing process
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What if Junko was creepypasta lol . . . . . . . oh
oh god DAMMIT WAIT I LIKE THIS. Now I can't draw it until this Day gets released! DAMMIT!
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ragnarockz · 24 hours ago
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Going to be really boring with the ask but: Agatha Harkness for:
5: What kind of tea do they like?
20: What would their favorite book series be?
And then Lilia calderu
12: How many piercings do they have, which ones, and how often do they wear them?
13: Would they let a small child paint their nails?
14: Are they a good babysitter?
and Jennifer Kale:
17: Math Gay, English Gay, or both?
THESE ARE SO GOOD I'M SO EXCITED!
Agatha:
5. What kind of tea do they like?
omg listen...I hear/read/see the word 'tea' and my brain goes ballistic. I LOVE tea; I have a tattoo of a TEA KETTLE. But aside from all that, I think she's definitely a herbal tea drinker. I mean, she probably had to make a lot of tea and know what plants were safe to ingest when she was living out in the woods with Nick and I think that stuck with her throughout time. Lots of good remedies/health benefits come from it and I think that's also something very magical (and hey yeah, plants can improve your health and well shit, RIO OUT HERE MAKING THOSE PLANTS!) That's a win/win situation right there.
(back to edit - making tea in Wandavision 🥰)
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20. What would their favorite book series be?
Ok so we all know she's a voracious reader I mean, the girl was trying to steal a (spell) BOOK. And, we had Detective Agnes go into an ACTUAL library to do her investigation and not use the (especially in this day and age) libraries website to find the book she was looking for. ALSO, HER HOUSE?
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Brb breaking in to steal all her books. As for a book series though, it's probably something old, maybe even a history series or mythology. She definitely feels like someone who knows her history (to use it as she will in the worst ways possible). Knowledge is power and knowledge is sexy.
(coming back to edit this post because I couldn't find the pic this morning but yeah! Agnes visiting the library! Just like me for real, I have two books due soon 😅)
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Lilia:
12. How many piercings do they have, which ones, and how often do they wear them?
I think she would just have her lobes, very European (especially Italian), to have your ears pierced at a very young age. And she would wear them all the time!
13. Would they let a small child paint their nails?
Oh for sure! 🥺 I think she would be wonderful around kids, especially younger ones. She brings such warm vibes and I think just her having some love and attention put onto her warms her heart.
14. Are they a good babysitter?
I would think so! Just...just don't feed any of those kids anything expired ma'am...please..
Jennifer:
17. Math Gay, English Gay, or both?
Oh she is very, very smart. Look how far that woman has come even BOUND. She has her own business! She was a midwife! A root worker! She had to know how to read and apply maths and sciences to her practices.
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surreal-duck · 17 days ago
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some business to take care of
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wiihtigo · 2 months ago
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non canon to casey official lore but what if she did get that son of a bitch
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p1x1x · 6 months ago
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#momonina#kindof. embarrassed to post this one bc its just pure fluff lmao… theyre so LAME in this pic (/j)#i can hear mmk going ったく…#nn’s outfits are always soooo cute though#waaaaaah i love the fashion….#miiiight color it though..#edit incoming#future pix here#mmnn#<- decided the drawings of the two of em can have momonina in them but if it leans more romo than plato it has mmnn#bc i rotate them in my head so fast#but as the days pass i get really crazy over them being Not Romantic but still More than That#im losing my Mind tbh#the only thing im certain of is that mmk is definitely a lesbian all things considered like look at her LMAO#everytime i rewatch i do consider how gay her actions are...???#(i've been rotating mmnn around in my mind since ep 1 tbh... the codependency was tempting...!)#but i keep thinking abt mmk herself saying “i saw my past self in you” in like. ep 2 already... and it would linger in my mind#i had written in my notes a While back#like when ep 4 was airing#that it just felt like mmk was trying to be kind to her past self ykno#because she believed that the her now... had failed in her dream#so yknow... by giving the guitar she was trying to have nn continue that dream for her (leading into mmk “guiding nn”)#ofc nn gives back her guitar though and i thank that person on twitter everyday for putting it so well#LIKE AGHHH THEIR MEETING WAS FATE BUT THE ACTIONS THEY TOOK TO PULL EACH OTHER UP... KILL ME!!!!#the choices they make regarding themselves... of staying true to themselves... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgjhg#idk how many people will see this edit so im just treating it like the void (haha Void) here#(i've made that joke multiple times to myself now#i still think about. how mmnn were drawn to the honesty of each other#and yet. didnt exactly recognize each other as an actual person yet?#nn loved void and so loved mmk for creating it and saving her life. so mmk was a savior to her
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toygirljackal · 2 months ago
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Gosh you're hot what a tum... that girldick just out of frame, can I see her? 👀
Well, since you asked sooo nicely~
Check your dms ♥︎
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topicaltropic · 5 months ago
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oops! all wips
#dndads#1st img is morgan . tried to solidify the type of person that would marry glenn & jodie and its like#manic pixie dream girl meets wife under bedsheets. fun loving carefree extremely irresponsible i imagine shes as much a bad mom as glenn is#a bad dad#close family dinner for each day of the week#i imagine its very depressing cool for kids sad for adult/college life meals#i had like a pmv/animatic of tmbg erase to nicks everything but ill never finish it sadge!#comic in the middle i was gonna do like a immediately after the final where willys defeated and schools out for summer norm and scary run#into eachother while theyre walking home#and scary would ask whats wrong and normal would be like#well knowing that the entire world ended because of me has been sort of weighing#on me yeah“ and then scary would go ”normal...do you wish that *was* the reason?“ which would lead normal getting dumbstuck cuz she hits#the nail on the hammer. and then hes incredibly defensive and hes like uh b buh NO !!! MAYBE !!! and scary would share her experience#but itd make normal more resentful cuz hed be like well it all worked out for you in the end with you and your dad and you mom who all love#you. and then scary would get irked and start to call him out but then now that the bottles been uncorked his resentment would start#spilling out.#“you burned my house down! i thought it was *my* family that had the connection with the doodler ! but why- when- ”#and normal would be so frustrated and he couldnt get his words out and hed refuse to look at scary while she looks at him w/ the hardest#look of conflicted sympathy and pain#and all she could say would be stop comparing yourself to me and shed mean that in the most compassionate way possible and norm would just#be like i know#and then the bus would come and scary would have to go but shed look back and then be like “am i still coming over saturday to play#and him busy crying would just give a thumbs up#god now that i write this out maybe i will draw it i have a little bit of time left why not#to me i think scarys someone normal would have the easiest time being mean to#one because of his latent misogyny and this like unconscious superciliousness he holds towards her yet shes the one receiving the#validation he sorely craves and knowing if theres anyone he could talk to and whos understand what hes going through its her so though he#isnt able to be emotionally vulnerable or engage in a deeper level but he does feel comfortable enough to lash out at her#last pic is if nick woke up post doodlerized and found himself on cassandras couch (where the teens placed him) and shes there to greet him
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linabirb · 27 days ago
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you know you've hit rock bottom when by the end of the session your therapist hits the head in hands pose and goes "let's. l-let's just try to stay alive for now. n-no meds we'll just focus on finding the reasons to keep you here"
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mazzy-rockstar · 10 months ago
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Monday blues are hitting me hard today
#you can ignore this if you want cause im gonna talk a lot of shit and sads and feelings#but as i’ve realised i literally have no one to empty my heart out to irl#and it’s fucking heartbreaking cause i love my friends but I don’t think they love me back#which is an insane though but I genuinely think it’s true like#i moved away 4 ish months ago and i know that communication comes from both side but like i wanted to test smt#so i stopped texting first and guess what?? only 2 friends texted me#1 because she’s genuinely a good friend i think and the other because she needed money (which i gave her like a fucking fool)#my heart just hurts cause i realised i’m not as important to them as they are to me and I’m completely misreading our relationship and#it sucks because I thought they were going to be my friends for life but now they’re all posting recaps of 2023 and im in none of their pics#even in pics where i was present at the time#and i dont know if it’s intentional or if im just being an insecure little bitch but it fucking hurts#i just want to be important to someone#i want to be someone’s person#not a last resort like#they keep doing stuff together which i get like life moves on and i’m the one that left#but not a single text or a pic or a ‘we miss you!’#not even a fucking heart on insta stories#am i being desperate?? or do I actually have shitty friends#like i have impostor syndrome in my own fucking friendgroup???#I can’t just drop them either cause then I’ll actually have no one#idk i must exude some sort of energy#i dont think ive ever had a genuine good best friend like for some reason they leave after 3 years#(and this is why i have trust issues and attachment disorders)#anyway I’ll probably just suck it up and go about my day#ive lived 24 years like this what’s an entire life#it’s wild cause i have a good time whenever i’m with them (i think) and then i leave and it’s crickets#i feel like hired entertainment sometimes#idk my head hurts so I’m probably overthinking but like these feelings come from somewhere right?#i have to stop
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acheronist · 11 months ago
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so over the holidays i had to fight my brothers dog a little bit to stop her from choking on a shard of chicken bone that someone left in the park and Breaking News, sticking my hand in the mouth of a dog trying to quickly eat something she shouldn't have meant that i got bit, which is fine because i really did nawt want my family to spend christmas eve in the vet ER. but it's finally healed enough that i could take a bandage off my finger and damn the bite wound really is shaped like Exactly This Part⬇️ of a dog's jaw
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yikes-ajax · 9 months ago
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Today I show insider photos of an anonymous worker at the biscuit factory
who was fired for treason against the nation and illegal operation of heavy machinery under the influence of hard drug nepeta cataria, commonly known by many as "catnip" in slang. They were incarcerated on March of this year after an intense fight broke out in the workplace over their "dingy-fish-stick", which enforcements have defined as a recreational toy, when the manager, AJ, attempted to take this toy from them. AJ and another employee were unfortunately caught in the crossfire, but are in stable condition and expected to make swift recovery. Date for trial has yet to be set, and a bond has not been given.
We understand that this is a deeply disturbing event that has shaken the infrastructure of biscuit businesses everywhere, small and mainstream alike, with rising numbers of such attacks as catnip makes its way through the nation.
The biscuit factory has already released a statement, saying;
"We are taking executive action immediately to ensure our employees feel safe and secure, and are working to encourage healthy conflict resolution. We send our sympathies to those who have been shaken by such violence, and hope to collaborate in an effort to build a safer environment."
More information will be released as things develop, thank you.
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