#will i ever make a piece of art that doesnt have me wanting to kill myself afterwards

[bangowang]

theyre chilling

[yizhou-time]

(46) ATEEZ FIC RECS

🍓 fluff | 🌀 angst | 💥 nsfw | 🎧 personal favourite

if any links don’t work or the wrong writers have been tagged please let me know!

ATEEZ/MULTIPLE

Want You Back | @whimsicalwritingsandmore 🍓🌀

opposites attract w/ matz | @beenbaanbuun 🍓💥🎧

↳ are you ready to get so hooked on something you’ll read every story connected to it and simply sit there waiting for series updates?

Addams!ATEEZ | @fruithoughts 🍓💥

HONGJOONG

Less Than Three | @kbandtrash 🍓

Runaway | @lilacmingi 🍓🌀

To Make An Album | @bambikisss 🍓💥

Never Alone | @iwannasuckyourmonstercock 🌀

Hopefully | @idyllic-ghost 🍓

↳ my hongjoong roman empire and it’s just made up leave me alone

SEONGHWA

The Way to His Heart | @edenesth 🍓🌀🎧

↳ again not a series reader in the slightest but this one is so well done you never know what’s happening next and then you get grown through a loop in the best way possible

let’s not fall in love, again | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ HOW THE AUTHOR CAME UP WITH THIS IS BEYOND ME BUT I REREAD THIS ALL THE TIME I LOVE IT I CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT

no title | @mymoodwriting 🍓🌀💥

bodyguard | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥

↳ this became my personality for a solid month after its release

cat named mars | @hwaightme 🍓

checkmate | @atinystraynstay 🍓🌀

the lamb and the wolf | @seonghwaddict 🍓💥

YUNHO

Guerilla | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀💥

opposites attract | @tainsan 🍓🌀💥

↳ another one that became my personality for a solid month after release

what builds a home | @cosmicdumpling 🍓💥 (only a little!)

PILLAGED | @lilacmingi 🍓 (a little 🌀)

something to give each other | @sungbeam 🍓🎧

↳ read this at 5:34am and it changed my life i’m not kidding

Promise | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓💥 (only a little!)

↳ did my life just change? yes! this authors fics always change my life but this was something else!

entombed | @ghstzzn 💥 (and kinda 🍓) 🎧

YEOSANG

no title | @ateezmakemeweep 🍓🌀

RETURN TO ME | @thewonandonly 🌀💥🎧

↳ this is the the best yeosang fic on this app like i can’t explain any of it like this is one i strongly suggest you read (this is a threat, read the goddamn fic) and that fucking ending i’m literally i can’t it takes everything in me to not spoil it every time i recommend it but i’m telling you you have to read this you know that feeling you get when your heart wrenches and you physically feel it? you get that the whole time with this

for the hope of it all | @starrysvn 🌀🎧

↳ not gonna lie thought about killing myself after reading this 😭😭😭 /j

SAN

The Art of Climbing the Corporate Ladder | @ennysbookstore 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ another one i can’t explain you have to read this for yourself because you think you know and then no you fucking don’t and then you get really mad and then really sad and then you’re like oh no and then y/n saves it and then san says stuff JUST READ IT

Ceilings [PART 2] | @yoongiseesawmp3 🍓🌀💥

↳ FINALLY THIS GODDAMN TROPE DONE RIGHT LIKE GAG EM THANK YOU GUYS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD READ AND IT DOESNT MOVE FAST LIKE THE OTHER FICS THAT DO THIS TROPE PLEASE

seasons out of time | @nonclassyparty 🍓🌀💥🎧🎧🎧

↳ this is the most soul crushing, heart wrenching, bone shattering piece of media you will ever read like i can’t genuinely put into words how much this fic means to me on like a level like i can’t even describe it help it is one of those fics thag you have to read for yourself and you’ll understand because just when your hopes are up theyre down when they’re down they’re up again in some strange way part two is in the works so i’m preparing for my heart to get stamped on by the author and part 1 is like for me genuinely the absolute best fics on this app so I can’t wait

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | @hongjoongsart 🍓🌀

↳ you know when you like feel smth in your gut and you don’t know what, this is what this does to you I swear

a broken routine | @vampzity 🍓🍓🍓🍓🎧

MINGI

Goodbye Summer | @shocymer 🌀🌀🌀

↳ i did cry when i finished this

nightmare, daydream | @mingigoo 🍓💥

One New Message | @hwaightme 🌀

Home | @lovepookie 🍓🍓🍓

WOOYOUNG

Home for the Holidays | @highvern 🍓🌀💥

Say You Love Me Too | @crazyformfics 🍓

change of heart | @hotteoki 🍓

place in me | @starrysvn 🍓🌀🎧

↳ this is my wooyoung roman empire and it didn’t even happen irl

If Without You | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀

JONGHO

so lovely | @deathbyyeekies 🍓🍓🍓🍓 🎧🎧🎧

↳ i kid you not reading this changed my life like genuinely i’m a changed person now

killin me softly | @deathbyyeekies 🍓

glasses w/ jongho | @beenbaanbuun 🍓

zemblanity | @in-san-ity 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ it’s so nice watching tropes finally being done right like you don’t even understand how badly i needed this

20:15pm | @xuchiya 🍓

the fear still lingers | @03jyh23 🌀🌀🌀🌀🎧🎧🎧

↳ TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO THROW MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE AFTER READING THIS IF YOU’RE WANTING FUCKING INCREDIBLE ANGST READ THIS SHIT AND YOU’LL PHYSICALLY FEEL YOUR HEARTBREAK LIKE MINE DID

[applejaxx1]

thinking about just how much omori had impacted and changed my life for the better (no spoilers in rant/under thread)

omori has helped me overcome so much fear and sadness that i can't even put it into words. i could talk about this game for hours. that's not even an exaggeration- I've done it before.

the characters are SO WELL written and realistic, it has an amazing soundtrack, wonderful team, great art/systems, and so much more. the story behind this game is dark but so realistic.

it portrays trauma in such a well way that it scares me of how much it reminds me of myself. the quotes that come from this game are so scarily realistic and wonderfully hand crafted. this game was obviously made with so much love and passion from its creators.

the characters are so easy to sympathize with, gets you to see yourself in sunny WHO DOESNT EVEN TALK. sunny is one of the best protagonists from a game I've ever seen. you learn so much about him from the other characters without him even speaking.

i don't think my life could've ever been the same if i had never played this game. it's brought me so much comfort and joy.

just before writing this, i was about to have a panic attack. it barely took me anytime to calm down because i remembered sunnys ways of calming down and just the overall game.i just had to put on the soundtrack and think about omori to stop myself from having a panic attack!!

it's geniunely amazing how much of an impact omori has had on me. im even getting really attached to the side characters!! they're also very well written. especially captain spaceboy and kim!! the ending (true) kills me. (it's amazing) on your first initial playthrough, you miss so much stuff.

and i guess that's why i enjoy it so much. having to search through different parts of the game to fully understand it. almost every piece of dialog has so much meaning behind it. even simple dialog like in the very beginning of the game we head aubrey say, "but OMORI doesn't like being alone," this doesn't mean much at first but once you go farther into the game, it makes so much sense.

even the simple flower meanings basil assigns everyone means a lot!! the cactus basil assigns kel, the sunflower he assigns himself. the gladiolus he assigns aubrey and the lilly of the valley he assigns mari means a lot! the only ones i couldn't really find any meaning behind is hero and omoris.

the main rythym of a lot of the songs is final duet which also shows his mind wanting to tell him the truth.

so i guess what i want to say is thank you.

thank you omocat and her team for creating such an outstanding game. and thank you to the person reading this for giving omori a chance. i understand not everybody will like the game. once again, thank you omocat. peace out.

[intertexts]

GMORNING !!!!! u know what time it is

EPISODE 8 TRIVIA:

- the big monster they fought in the beginning was called a Crawling Apocalypse which looks like this. terrifying !!!

- bizly really liked that william banished it. he was originally not gonna let him do that but then "i realized your character can do so little and that was cool so i said fuck it" we love william pity points he is such a loser and he rolls so terribly <3

- they start talking about one piece because grizzlys saying things abt how certain parts of dakota are inspired by luffy and bizly goes "ive never watched anime" which is the biggest lie in the world

- grizzly: "yknow we were about an hour into the episode before i realized wow i havent done anything productive yet"

condi: "you just hit on vyncents mom for like 20 minutes!!!!"

- and then they start talking about how dakota and chip (bizlys pc from riptide) would either be best friends or hate each other which is really funny bc there are now MULTIPLE what if crossover episodes where they meet and interact and thats exactly the dynamic . i love them

- condi wasnt expecting his dad to be dead, he thought theyd have to fight him

- he kind of hesitated taking the sword !! vyncent doesnt really know how to feel about using something that belonged to his father

- he wasnt entirely Present for the part where his dad betrayed the party, he was sort of fading in and out of consciousness so theres a chance he didnt actually get the full picture. condi knows this out of character and vyncent knows it in the back of his mind somewhere that his dad might not actually be fully evil but hes too angry to come to terms with that yet

- hes struggling a lot with the fact that his mom.doesnt know about the betrayal. he doesnt want to tell her because "its not his fathers pride at stake, its his mother's memory of him" and that makes me so . :(

- THE GREATS!!!!!!!! THE GREATS ARE HERE i love the greats. surely nothing bad is happening to them

- they have a couple theories as to whats going on with the greats:

-- condi: theyre in this state because vyncent took too long getting them back here out of his head

-- condi: they were killed when they got transported to the other world and there was no way to get them back completely

-- charlie: something happened in the time where vyncent was transported to prime and the greats had died, so someone did something to keep them alive by putting them in his head. maybe they could only be kept alive by being in vyncents head

- grizzly tries to insight check bizly irl to see if any of their theories are close so far. this does not work . he rolled a 17 btw

- none of them trust minerva they think she might be secretly working with the lich. bizly defends her by saying "shes also in the middle of basically an apocalypse i think shes allowed to be a little mean to you"

- le frog is the only french person ever. this is brought up with NO context no explanation

- bizly is sharing some of the thumbnail art from youtube because this was right around the time the first few episodes were being put up publically !! most of them are just the same as the official refs but the most important one is le frog bc im not actually sure if youve seen his offical design yet . also tide used to be white. we dont have to talk about white tide

- bizly says pd feels more like a DC comic than a Marvel comic. hes right about this

- charlie starts talking about marissa meyer books and this is important 2 me because the lunar chronicles was an extremely formative piece of media for me . she apparently has a book called renegades thats superhero themed and i have not read it yet but i put it on my list specifically because of this. wahoo!

tgis is SUCH good trivia for this ep thank u dude... ouagh. really solid meal here. i love these last couple episodes so much.. there's so much fun stuff happening here i'm enjoying all of the greats stuff & getting like a solid Vyncent Moment for a while.

i LOVE the william pity points its great! it WAS cool as fuck!! also i gain +5 hp every time a gm goes "who give a shit if this isn't technically how the game mechanics should work, it's fun for everyone at the table & makes for something cool and makes sense narratively."

that being said. i DID take SO MUCH PSYCHIC DAMAGE from how long dakota spent hitting on his fucking mom. Please. Please king !!! sob.

I ALSO WAS EXPECTING THEM TO FIGHT VYN'S DAD???? still not unconvinced that some lich undead bullshit isn't going to happen with that. god i'm so invested in figuring out what HAPPENED there... i love this type of murder mystery situation. & i also was genuinely unsure if he would take the sword or not!! really kind of an ohhh shit! moment when he did. imo. vyncent virion sol i love u.... also it's still INCREDIBLY funny 2 me that he's still in his normal clothes. i have not forgotten that he is just doin his fantasy bullshit thing in the just some guy drip. (<- i might have forgotten something but i've been assuming they no longer have/wear Official Hero Drip since they're no longer really sanctioned or on great terms w/ them? also i've been assuming that the episode-specific clothes & shit isn't really permanent... now that im thinking about it though please tell me wiwi hardcore blue flame black leather kickass spiky biker jacket remains. it's too cool for him. but. still.)

I LOVE THE GREATS SO MUCH... i hope nothing permanently bad happens to them :( i like them so dearly..... you know they r really solid folks because they spent a YEAR and change living in a teenager's brain & came out of the experience still bein so nice 2 him.... augh. also in general big fan of the system-adjacent bullshit :] i love it when theres. guy with guys in his head. etc. will b sad ab their departure but i hope they r OKAY and return 2 Being Alive & shit!! nervous laughter. also god i can't wait to find out what Actually Happened with them. hhrhrghghgghh.

THIS IS SO TRUE ALSO???? free my girl minerva she did nothing but have Literally Normal Reactions to TERRIBLE things happening!!!

I DON'T LIKE THAT LEFROG FACT. it raises the question of is he actually even french or like, is there even a point of reference for his behavior. like. What is going on there. Horrifying thank you!!!! also man this entire degree im working on would be useless! well. maybe prime quebec exists. somehow. independently of a hypothetical europe. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN BTW. its so cute.. i WAS kind of imagining a mutant Big Real Fucking Frog situation but i think this is a lot more reasonable. also literally ignoring white tide I Do Not See it. It Does Not Exist.

ALSO. NOT GOING TO START TALKING AB COMICS FOR EVEN MORE PARAGRAPHS. BUT. he is so so so right. (<- dc comics guy with Opinions. well. technically im not even much of a dc guy im just a vertigo guy. but. still.) hghghghbhgh.

[fuckmeyer]

hoo boyo so i'm the small writing human o/ *waves*

thank you for your response and i just took the time to read through your Jacob black's life matters and how smeyer killed him and i found it super interesting. (also it literally excites me seeing the quotes with the page numbers🤤). -----anyway back on track now. so i've always hd a liking for twilight since i watched the movies when they released (i would have been like 10..?) because i generally like the genre it falls in to. back in feb i watched all the movies again with my mum and she owns all the books so i started to read Twilight and pretty much loved it (i'm easily pleased). it took me like three weeks to get through it which is pretty average for me (attention span..) but then when i picked up New Moon i could barely put it down. i read it in 4 days which is the fastest ive ever read a book by a looong shot. i kind of fell off with reading eclipse... it took me almost 2 whole months to get through which just shows.

i think in hindsight one of the reasons i actually love New Moon (book) more than the rest is that there isnt really a 'set in stone villain' (twilight has james, eclipse has the newborns//victoria, then BD has the volturi. i suppose edward is the only thing that could class as a villan that book but thats not my point i think i enjoyed it more because of the time we get to spend with bella and jacobs characters . . . (quick side note that i watched the movies after finishing the books and new moon has no justice i feel like it washes over the effect jacob had on bringing bella "back to life" so much. so upsetting)

anyhoodles. i think i enjoy Twilight to set up B&E, then New Moon to set up B&J, then as you say in the crit Eclipse just kind of forces you to choose. and it makes sense. after just watching the movies i cant see a way in hell anyone would be team jacob---but having read the books its a whole different story. but then again... smeyer.... yeah.

sorry this has been such a long ask and doesnt really have a question involved, feel free to not post a response as i understand it's long:')

as a last note while i think of it i think that Eclipse for me fell off in that i didnt particularly care about what it was doing. i liked reading about bella and edward in twilight and then bella and jacob in new moon and i just didnt really care for most of eclipse. but maybe thats because i fell in love with bella and jacob from new moon and then had the character sabotaged.. heavy sigh. i think it says a lot that ive had a fan art of bella and jacob walking along the beach as my phone wallpaper since i read new moon so that says it all really.

i apologise once again for the length of this. ---if you wanna see the fan art wallpaper ill find it and reblog it so its at the top of my page.

p(p?)s. i'm glad it's sunny there! it's rained here the last couple days :c

hello tiny writing human! glad to have you back :)

glad you liked the analysis! & the books. New Moon is my favorite too, & i definitely agree with you that part of the appeal is the internal struggle Bella faces. we do get Victoria in the background & the werewolves, but really the whole book is about Bella learning to cope with 1) being a human in a supernatural world 2) her grief of being alone [i.e. without Edward] in this new world. watching her pick up the pieces of her life & build something new & beautiful & imperfect with Jacob was cathartic & relatable - v much a triumph in a series so rooted in the fantastical.

& it's hard to watch Eclipse become this struggle between two boys. because really, it's not about Edward or Jacob. Bella's choice is about whether she wants to give up everything for this cold, "perfect," monstrous, immortal life; or, whether she wants to stick around & build something warm & human & imperfect & finite with Jacob.

by twisting Jacob's character from the symbols of sunshine & values of humanity he represents into a bad-boy supernatural love interest competing with Edward for Bella's affection, it erases some of the characterization that we have come to expect & love in Jacob. because when Meyer positions him as a love interest, he's not embodying the traits as a friend; he's embodying the traits of what Meyer thinks is formidable love interest and rival to Edward: confident, cocky, aggressive, persistent... Jacob becomes nothing more than a 2000s-era (& before) trope of how men in our society "should" act towards women. so, everything we came to knew about Jacob was morphed into this friend/lover hybrid that just didn't work for who he was. he is Jacob...but he is not our Jacob.

(& the movies did him even worse because the "slice of life" B/J scenes we get were mostly cut.)

anyway, thanks for coming back & letting me rant about one of my favorite characters & my fave book :)

[sho-minamimoto]

plz tell me about some of your ocs at random

YAAYYYY heres a few that r very special 2 me

a sentient immortal grape that photosynthesize gunpowder and explode at will + regenerate itself at a moments notice. it was grown in a lab and escaped just to kinda run around out in the wild and have fun (not really on purpose it just got lost) and it usually expoads itself as a self defense mechanism against animals eating it (it can survive being food but it just doesnt like the experience) ive had this oc since i was like 8 maybe. im fond of this Orb also here are some phone doodles of it

i'll put 2 more ocs under a read more i just wanted anyone scrolling to see the grape.

(ref by my gf @nachtkern, various phone doodles by Me) This is Tesnik :) bitchboy guy who accidentally fused himself with an ant as a kid and gained the ability to disintegrate any part of his body into ants at will and he just decided to own it and live with it. he used to be an info broker and used his ants to manually spy on ppl + blackmail them + sell out secrets and got really rich that way but got way in over his head and got himself in a huge mess that ended with him Maybe (or Maybe Not) indirectly orchestrating the deaths of several people after his throat and afterwards he was like "man i dont wanna do all that again. im gonna be normal now" and now makes a living running a small cozy antique store with wares he collected and restoring old paintings. but he still spies on people with his ants as a bad habit of being nosy and just wanting to Know things at all times. he is my oc Ever. there are some ocs i have that i like a bit more than him but if i comm someone to draw my oc its always this guy and no one else.

ok lastly this is Eirian.... i dont think i have any actual finished art of him but i love him to pieces hes a dumb loser idiot with a very low opinion of himself hes unapproachable and aloof and kind of a weirdo but hes very loyal to the ppl he cares abt and he cares for others really deeply. he has an obsession with his knife collection he loves knives and finds them really cool. also he can do parkour and loves getting into fights hes very rowdy. he has 2 sisters and they r all triplets he's very clingly with one and absolutely hates the other one (but not really he just finds her annoying.) I technically have 2 versions of this oc, one whos just Some Guy (as described above) and another whos the same guy but like a high fantasy au version. I dont wanna say Too much bc my gf and i kind of made a whole story abt it that we might do more with someday but in that version he's the disgraced prince of a kingdom that starts living on the run after killing his father (the King) and joins a travelling circus as an acrobat while trying to evade authorities and punishment from the rest of his family. i need to draw more of him hes a very special oc 2 me.

[bat-luun]

tell me about ur comic character right neow!!!!!!

you will fucking regret this hell yea

okay- literally no one talks to me about anything ever but imma try my best to explain it all even with the uber instincts of my uber autism- sorry about the crazy rambling your about to hear

tw: old art and my old @

this is a wip comic i started thinking about back in like 2018? when i first drew the (then) mc on paper! my beloved Bonnie!!

the concept for her then was: a film/photography student goes looking for her missing gf and lovecraftian horrors ensue!! the main inspiration was the three friends diner and the horrifying hijinks were mostly inspired by the 2017 horror game among the sleep!!! the MOST IMPORTANT gimmick of the whole thing was the photos i planned that Bonnie would take! inspired by this legendary creepypasta.

(old 2021 and 2022 art)↴

speaking of among the sleep - inspired by the bear character i did plan to maybe add a sidekick that would basically be a tour guide of some sort so bonnie doesnt get frame one killed. this was scrapped cuz its cringe and i didnt like it. now i just use them as a dnd npc.

(old 2022 art)↴

now mind you- i was working on this whole project whenever i really felt like it and this is around the time where i went from my dsmp hyperfixation to jrwi and didnt make much oc art so the work was very slow and minimal..

but when bitb dropped? oh my lord did i eat that shit up for this comic. obviously i dont wanna just rip off bitb (if i wanted to do that i would just write fanfiction) so i did a reboot of the whole series!

now i have four main characters: Kat (she/her) Bonnie (she/they) Dough (they/them) Vinny (he/him)

with Kat being the main main character as most of the story is told through her pov. the story is now set in the 70s/80s in a town literally called Small Town somewhere in florida (yes the shitty and simple names are intentional shut up). i wanted to explore more of the human nature of horror - that its not always the evil shadow monster hiding in the woods thats gonna hurt you, but that it can be the people you are closest to or even society at large.

but i also dont wanna go the ooOoOooOOOO it was a [insert mental illness here] metaphor all along!!! route since i feel like its really overdone and can heavily demonize mental illness. instead its more found family focused as a team of four homosexuals try to solve the towns seemingly simple mystery that drives them down the path of experiencing unspeakable horrors!

so basically gayer scooby-doo but theres heavy gore and autism

i can definitely rant about this way more but i feel like ive been talking for too long so hope you enjoyed that very brief history lol - let me know if you wanna hear about the remake characters!!!! :D

heres a kat piece im working on rn as a treat :]

[idolapollo]

Dedicated DEV LOG #1

hey!! it's apollo/nyarl!! this'll be a first in a series of posts that are basically indie game development logs filled with a shit ton of rambling

i'll maybe try and post these monthly or bi-monthly, but it's mostly for me to motivate myself to make progress to have something to show off and to archive the process of making a game!

this month's dev log is dedicated to—well—"Dedicated To..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(i may keep saying this for future projects and games so bear with me) "Dedicated To..." (abbreviated as DT from now on) originally was an idea i had in middle school!

it was really edgy tho and i'd honestly kms if it ever got leaked to the public but it was essentially an angst piece for when i was discovering my own sexuality as a gay cis man

staying somewhat true to its gay angst origins, this game is a story based psychological horror rpg maker game! maybe you can add it's a story based gay psychological horror rpg maker game lmao

it won't be a long game, and it'll have 4 routes determined by one early game choice and 5 endings!! the 5th one is considered a secret dont tell anyone

i did change the protagonist's name and design bc it was literally just a self insert for me lmao even had clothes i often wore fucking lame

BUT ANYWAYS!!!!! you'll play as tybalt, a college student majoring in english literature or something as he struggles to create a fairy tale as his capstone (don't think about it too much)

here's a preview of his full art and draft of his portrait as thanks for listening to me ramble so far i will continue to ramble!! (i have yet to turn it into pixel art and plan different expressions)

i really wanted to make a gay character with these kinda cat eyes whatever you call em lol

and the man he'll be pinning for is reyn!! i didnt give him a major bc it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things!!! he's probably a finance major!!!!

also idk why i named him reyn, it was something i kept from the original middle school stories

ig it was because i was watching chugga's lets play of xenoblade lmao

i've taken some time with working with rpg maker mz before since i had the chance to use it in a game dev class (after splurging most of my financial aid on plugins lmao), but unless i can figure out javascript on my own and break the engine, i'll be focusing on using rpg maker vx ace since it has more plugins!

for now, i'm still focusing on the story and full body character art before diving into programming and learning how to make pixel art _(:3」∠)_

btw i forgot to mention that part. yeah i'm an absolute newbie when it comes to pixel art so i have to learn that too cries

even though i'm making it in rpg maker vx ace, i'm aiming to recreate the feel of rpg maker 2000/2003 because i was SUUUUUUPER inspired by end roll, okegom's games, and specifically for this game charon's works!! so now i gotta bust out the pixels

there will be 4 routes with 5 endings! there was another route + ending but i scrapped it because i only had an idea of the ending (more on that in the future) and nothing else lol

so far i've drafted 3 of the 4 routes! even though there is no canon ending, the 4th one is the one that has the 5th ending and can branch off into other works (once again more on that in the future lmao)

i'm starting to write the dialogue for the 1st route and it's going okay!! tbh i wish i worked on it more over summer break while my college classes aren't gonna kill my ass and classes start next week (´；ω；`)

but i spent a majority of summer break testing out medication for my adhd, and i still am!! it was a really rough process and i'm glad i didn't go through mania-like symptoms while classes were going on _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

i'm better now tho and i say i'm at a semi good spot!! now time to treat my horrid anxiety lol

i'll end it here for now before it gets too long!! sorry and thanks to listening to me ramble! i'll leave you with a snippet of the intro!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[my-lunaberg]

Oh okay, then I mustve misintrepreted that post lol

I was referencing another post I made, which was more about my opinions on how to approach 'messaging' in fiction in general, although it was still mostly written to complain about the dsmp fandom specifically. The tldr is that I think its a bit silly to critize something that was clearly not intended to have A Message on the basis of the message being bad. That being said, I do understand why some people would be discomforted by the way abuse ended up being portayed because it is a sensitive topic obviously and while the fandom has been careful to be mindful of people by having warnings on the wiki and stuff like that, the content creators themselves really havent, like, Ranboo has derealization cws for the streams where thats relevant but Tommys streams, which deal pretty heavily with abuse and trauma at times, dont have anything like that, so that another valid reason to be upset. Like, if someone ignores content warnings and ends up getting exposed to upsetting content thats on them, but if someone isnt given content warnings and ends up getting exposed to upsetting content the creators should definitely lable their art more responsibly.

Also, while I dont get hung up on the messaging like some other people do, I still dont like a lot of what Ive been seeing in regards to Dream and Tommy. Like, I think Dream is an intersting character and I relate to him a lot and seeing him get a chance at happiness or even redemption would be very cathartic for me (ofc it still depends on the execution, but I really like the concept itself) but. he doesnt need to be with Tommy for that yknow? He can better himself and have friends and go make out with Punz or whatever far away from Tommy while Tommy can go and be with all of his friends that havent died/gone to the end/gone to utah? apparently?? far away from Dream. I get that its important that it ends with them since theyve kinda started everything, but also you dont have to become besties with someone who abused you in order to symbolically close the cycle of conflict that you both inadvertently dragged everyone in the world into

Idk I feel like Im being kinda insensitive about this and I think I even know the reasons lol

1. The other piece of media that Im currently into is Black Butler, moreso the manga than the anime, but I did watch the anime first and if I had to extrapolate and articulate A Message from the ending of season 1 (which many co sider to be the true ending bc a lot of people really didnt like season 2 lmao) it would basically be "You should kill yourself. You should have one ultimate goal in life and once youve achieved that, you should just kill yourself and die 👍" and thats yknow, really bad and messed up. But something being bad and messed up doesnt really bother me as long as it hits on a purely emotional level, which the ending of season 1 certainly did, so thats just the way it is and Ive made my peace with that

2. Ive already basically moved on. Like, Im a big Yugioh anime fan and Ive watched 6 out of 8 series which are currently out which are, for one, almost a 1000 episodes of really mediocre media designed to get 12 year old boys to want card games, and also 5 of the most dissapointing and terrible endings ive ever seen. There is only one yugioh series finale that I thouroughly enjoyed, the rest are all just kinda bad. At this point I might as well have a masters degree in Messy Series That Are Mostly Carried By The Great Characters And Some Neat Concepts With The Worst Endings Possible. And because of that, Ive already moved on, I know Im probably not gonna like it and if I do its probably just because its not as bad as tumblr scared me into thinking it would be, In my mind im already working on my little AU idea where Tommy and Tubbo swap places or my AU idea where Wilbur dies again and decides he just wants to stay in limbo and also Ghostbur is there and entire thing is basically just them working through some shit and going on weird funky train adventures or fanfics where Dream gets tortured in prison or whatever else I like. When a series has a shitty ending I have a very easy time just taking whatever I liked most about it and only thinking about those parts and just kinda ignoring the ending while also being happily free from the shackles of canon since the series is over lol

I've talked about this before but Ive been somewhat spoiled for the ending of dsmp so I already know that Tommy and Dream are gonna end on good terms or whatever and a lot of people dont like that because something something it sends a bad message something something and Ive already made a post about why complaining about "bad messaging" in media thats not for kids is stupid so Im not gonna get into that again. I just wanted to say that when I look up posts about the finale and I see anyone talking about how its OOC for Tommy to sympathize with Dream or forgive him or whatever, Im just gonna assume you didnt pay too much attention. Like, Tommy forgave literally everyone who wronged him, who ever did anything bad to him no matter what it was. And granted, nothing that Techno did or Wilbur or even Tubbo to an extend, was nearly as bad or deliberate as the things Dream did to him but still, this guy clearly feels bad about 'betraying' Techno during the days building up to Doomsday despite yknow, everything that happened on Doomsday. And sure, Im not gonna say he didnt betray Techno, but I wouldnt say that he was unreasonable or that he should feel bad or anything, but he inexplicably does idk what to tell you. Also, to be fair, the people that have been complaining about OOC stuff during the finale have mostly been complaining about Dream but Im just saying this in advance

I know I should probably just wait until I finish this stupid series to start having opinions about the finale but I cant help it man, I keep looking into my for you tab and I keep seeing posts about it and it took me 40 days to watch around two thirds of the dsmp (if the playlist is to be believed) i cant keep my opinions to myself for that long

[lamestteenagegirlever]

some stranger things headcanons(mostly ending up being ramblings bc im autistic)! feel sososo free to share yours with me or ask if i have any for a specific character! and shoutout to my bestie griffin for helping me come up with some of these

•max leaves like the most random shit in mikes locker. like he’ll open it and find like an origami armadillo or a piece of macaroni covered in glitter or like a singular fuzzy christmas sock. he has no idea its her(everyone else knows). he shows up to lunch every day with the item and gets more and more terrified every day.

•eddie has nicknames for all of the kids bc he loves them and hes alive and happy. he calls max ginger snap or little orphan annie or something along those lines and she acts pissed off but she loves it. he calls lucas number 8 bc even if he doesnt like basketball, he supports his kids in anything they do. dustin is just henderson ofc or the occasional like curly sue or smthn of that nature. he obvi calls erica lady applejack or miss america. he calls mike training wheel(nancy is steering wheel and holly is tricycle) or michael in the most ominous way possible. he calls will lil buddy or “sir william the wise, my lord” while doing the most dramatic curtsy ever, no in between. he calls el stupid shit like elton john or eleanor roosevelt and if hes greeting her he just asks her what number hes thinking of. i just love him and want him to be happy.

•el and mike are lesbian and gay solidarity argue with the wall. they were the first to find out about the other’s crush on max/will and they both encourage each other to go for it. el especially bc she hears how much will talks about mike. mike tries to get info from max but shes just like oh my god leave me alone(lovingly, ofc) with the reddest face ever and mike is like 🤔.

•max sees erica like a little sister and vice versa.

•will, robin, max, and eddie tell eachother all about their relationships/crushes and it ends in a nightmare every time. will told them about something really stupid mike said and eddie brought it up, laughing, at hellfire and mike was like “oh my god i fucked up so badly that will told eddie” and eddie tries to come up with another explanation like will wasnt the only other person there. “nonono, it wasnt will that told me! it was… nancy! she was… in the… bushes! for uhm……. newspaper stories???” and mike just thinks about it for the rest of the day

•idc abt canon they all go to lucas’s games and theyre huge dorks about it. they make signs and everything and then have a party at steves house regardless of whether they won or he even got to play. steve also helps lucas practice sometimes and is always like “go easy on me im old.”

•steve and robin worked a good few jobs in the months between the mall getting destroyed and the family video. they were there for maybe a week before one of them got fired(steve) and the other quit in protest bc theyre besties and share one braincell.

•lucas is a history kid, dustin and el are math kids, mike and max are english kids, and will is a science and art kid.

•steve hates his house because its always so lonely and he tells robin this like once in passing and she just shows up randomly with a duffel bag with her pjs and stuff. she probably has a key at this point so like he’ll get back from the shower or smthn and she’ll just be sitting on his bed watching tv like she lives there(she pretty much does), not that he minds obvi. he loves hanging out with her

•will and el are practically inseparable. they tell each other absolutely everything and have “sleepovers” once a week. when will realized that el doesnt know her birthday, he decided that they were gonna share his because everyone already jokingly calls them the wonder twins anyway. i literally just adore them and want more content with them.

•dustin and max will argue over the absolute dumbest stuff EVER. absolutely anything and everything. like max threatened to kill him over whether els shoes were mustard yellow or yellow-orange.

•mike acts like he hates steves guts when he finds out he likes eddie. like he’ll regularly be like “wow, you date my sister and now you’re going after my mentor.” and steve is just like “yeah, and ill go after your mom next. pipe down.”

•nancy and argyle vibe like no other and not a single person understands how. jonathan jokes that he cant believe his best friend would leave him for his ex and they all think its really funny.

•robin and steve cant spell restaurant or communicate or fairly simple words like that. they pass a singular braincell back and forth wand it probably belongs to nancy.

•steve taught all of the kids other than max how to drive. eddie taught max while steve had to like hold robins hand because of how nervous he was.

•dustin has zero rhythm(affectionate).

•el sat hopper down and asked him about his intentions with joyce like an overprotective dad when they got back from russia and always messes with him about the three inches rule.

•will gets along really well with nancy and holly. sometimes he’ll show up at the wheeler house and mikes pleasantly surprised to see him, thinking will there to see his bf but hes actually there for a tea party that holly invited him to or for his scheduled gossip session with nancy and probably steve, max, and el.

•el is an avid abba stan. she and will regularly end up having dance parties in her room when she plays it. argyle always joins in if hes over and jonathan does too, but not before he gets a couple of pictures bc he loves them a lot.

•eddie and robin smoke together on the occasion(they cried one time bc robin turned off the lights on accident and they were convinced they both went blind).

if you read this far i literally love you oh my god

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[dragonfruitsoup]

Hi there! I wanted to ask in honor of Sasori'sbirthday(cause it was his birthdayright?): have you ever thought of an alternative AU, where he and Baki switch roles, so Sasori becomes the sand sibs sensei, and Baki would become Deidara's partner in Akatsuki. Like, I like this idea a lot. It would've benefited and given more development to all if them. Sure, we'd lose the likeable, funny dynamic between Saso and Dei, but who says they can't have one as enemies who "absolutely do not like each other" (they actually do). Like imagine, Saso training with Kank. Spending time and guiding Gaara. Underrating Temari (cause I think Chiyo said at some point that Suna is pretty sexist?) During the fight with Sakura against him. Just for her to get super string, shut him up, so now he religiously drinks his respect women juice. And give more development to Baki too, like this dude makes 0 appearances after the Gaara rescue arc, lol. Anyways, I think it's a great idea, what's your opinion?

Pd: and also imagine him and Kakashi interacting. Kakashi's dad killed Sasori's parents I think? So they can't stand each other at 1st, but then they get to know each other, and become friends as a result. That would be cool.

hello friend!

i swear i didnt forget about this, it's just been a heck of a week. it was his birthday! (11/8)

now, i started responding to this and got COMPLETELY derailed so we're gonna try again where i stay on topic haha

i have never once thought of baki joining the akatsuki, but i constantly think of sasori staying in the village and becoming a (very reluctant) teacher/team leader. my man is miserable and i love that for him.

there is this absolutely flawless piece of dialogue & art that lives rent free in my mind and is immediately where i go to any time i imagine sassy remaining in the village.

1- baki

baki with deidara can go one of two ways for me. what we see of baki when he's introduced is that he's clearly managing to wrangle these walking nightmares, with some degree of success. so, like, he clearly has the patience to deal with reckless murder children. although, he could only be dealing with them because they're the kazekage's kids and he doesn't wanna be left to rot in a ditch somewhere....he does murder the fuck outta hayate right off the bat, so like. it's possible he's willing to just dispatch of dei the second the kid pisses him off, but he's also clearly dedicated to his missions, so maybe the kid'll survive. 

either way, i think baki and kakuzu get along great in the 'long suffering partner to literal children' club. (kisame, who actually likes his partner, crashes club meetings constantly like 'but did i tell you about the time he...!!!')

2 - sasori 

now, if you're chill with my personal little headcanon that sassy is cousins somehow to the sand brats, then i guarantee that he will pull the 'sorry. cant. conflict of interest.' card CONSTANTLY. will claim there’s bias, and we can’t have a case of nepotism. (he says, blank faced, as if he’s not talking about the kazekage’s children)

if not, however, then i'll say i personally can't see him taking on anyone who isnt a puppeteer. he has a brand. BUT FOR ARGUMENT'S SAKE! i want his absolute fumbling on how to teach temari. i am living for this mental image. because, as far as i remember, we never see a single puppeteer use a jutsu that doesn't involve puppets. like. not once. (aside from chiyo's forbidden zombie technique. doesnt count). sassy must know how to do something without his puppets, but does he??? little tem rocks up and demands to use a fan and sassy just stalls like 'how...how does that work???? you mean you want to physically hold that weapon? you dont want to use chakra strings??? whhhyyyy?????' sassy having to learn a whole new skill set because she won't budge and she absolutely calls him a coward who can't do it and like fuck will sassy let that stand. (sand sibs learn very quickly that the best way to get their leader to do something is to attack his pride.)

kankuro is obvious. little genin kank, fresh out of the academy, starry eyed to be working with his idol. completely heckin smitten. and then he realizes this, what, late-20s? early 30 year old? spends most of his time when not training them just hunched over a workbench in the dark, filthy and greasy and gross and completely unable to remember anyone's name if you come knocking at his door. he's brilliant! he's genius! his knowledge and techniques are unparalleled! but he's got classic 'grad student who hasnt eaten anything but coffee or left the library stacks in three days' vibe as soon as he's off shift. kank spends equal amounts of time learning from sassy and bullying sassy into staying the fuck alive because who else is gonna teach him??? this is the best of the best, don't you dare leave me to pick this up on my own! sassy has an obvious soft spot for the kid though. i mean, he'll die before he ever says that to kank's face, but! he absolutely gets called out when the jonins hang out. (if said jonin has to miss their next mission due to mild food poisoning, oh well) likes to challenge kank and pick his brain about puppets. they work well together, when he's not being a pompous bitch. 

gaara is probably the one sassy has the hardest yet easiest time with. he's absolutely willing to just let this kid do his thing, but at least leave the bodies intact! (sassy, no!!) if sass stays in the village, he's probably not the one who murdered the third and thus has no experience with sand techniques. like, not even by proxy of using a puppet. and it's not like the kid needs training in it!! the kid's fine! little pisspoot gaara, throwing a murderous tantrum and sass just staring him down, blank faced. kank, pleading, because that's his teacher! his favorite person! don't make him mad! i dont want you to die! and sass just, still deadpan, 'im already dead inside.' shukaku screeching about how he likes this one. the bizarre bonding over nihilism. temari is so gd done with these idiots. gaara, bringing back bodies when shukaku needs to rampage, like a little cat! coming back from the chunin exams like 'how do you get past the intense bloodlust?' and model citizen sassy responding 'you don't. you just redirect it.' sass, utterly fucking deligted to pawn off his tiny brittle garden on someone else because he hates trying to remember to water those fuckers. (sass simultaneously disappointed because now he doesn't have a supply of bodies for his experiments)

now, i think we're losing an absolutely golden opportunity of baki still leading sand brats while sassy has his own team for the chunin exams/invasion arc and the absolute EXHAUSTION that baki is feeling the entire time, but! sassy just letting his team of sand sibs do what they want, he doesnt care, as long as they stick vaguely to the script and then watching gaara get wrecked by lee and thinking 'huh, kid's probs not gonna take that well...' and then watching gaara in his little malted milk ball during the fight with sasuke and thinking 'well fuck, there goes the plan...hope the kage doesnt pin this on me.' AND THEN! watching his team stumble out of the woods at some point, beaten and bruised and clutching each other and sassy having to reevaluate everything he knows about these kids in like ten seconds. sasori, crashing on the sand sib's floor, face first, when he breaks the news about rasa, because gd, now he's responsible for these walking disasters. like. he already was, no one in that room has any illusions about rasa's parenting skills. but gdi, he did not sign up for this. 

3 - kakashi

listen. listen. i am LIVING for sasori and his cricket shoulder pads glaring across that funky little shed the first round of the chunin tournament took place in. kakashi is sweating, there is so much going on with his squad, and now he's got some redheaded asshole burning holes through his skull??

sasori and kakashi, who never really meet before the chunin exams because they both pull the ‘i dont want a team’ bullshit. kakashi because trauma and a lack of socialization and sassy, well probably for the same reason, but mostly just because he doesnt want to.

this is, of course, assuming that sasori even knows what kakashi looks like. he's used to granny bitching about this man who killed his parents (valid), but he doesnt know what he looks like. he finally recognizes the name though, when someone (naruto) yells his name and then it's fucking on sight. he knows that's not the man who killed his parents, but, eh, close enough. (figures he'll get him during the invasion, misses his chance. is extremely fucking bitter about this. and then his kid befriends one of kakashi's kids? what??? reluctant guardian hangouts while the jinchuriki dorks go out for snacks and training and play games and just. uuuuggghhhhh. sassy is miserable. kakashi apologizing for sassy's parents one day. sass begrudgingly accepting it because he is intimately familiar with the feeling of losing a parent and fuck, he does not want to trauma bond with his enemy, gdi. he can't believe this is his life.)

here i was, trying to keep this short and i just babbled more haha. sorry bout that! anyway.  

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some thoughts on what living with bakugou would be like:

-he’s weirdly organized. like he remembers where he put everything every time so if ur ever looking for something, most times he’ll just find it for u and it takes like .2 seconds

-will cook meals a large majority of the time, but if u bake sweets he’s an absolue sucker for them.

-if you’re like reALLY allergic to a certain type of bug or plant,, man’s got his eyes pEELED whenever y’all go somewhere together. like lets say, for example, ur allergic to bees. bakugou is blowing bees up left and right and u look at him and ur “no!! stop!!! bees are endangered!!” ,, he looks u dead in the face, like ur stupid or something and says “yeah. because of me. i’m gonna kill all of them.”

- if u have to get in an argument with somebody over the phone, he wants to hear it. like he’ll ask u to put the phone on speaker and he’ll just make mocking, bitchy faces while the other person is speaking. like,, he lets u fight ur own battles, but he wants to be there bullying the other person mercilessly in the background.

-if he doesnt like a song ur playing, he’ll just skip it. won’t ask, wont look at u, he’ll just skip it. borderline dick move tbh

-gets grumpy if u don’t follow his nightly routine on time, but also wont go to sleep without u. like he’ll just stay up and crab at u until u go to bed with him

-likes when u brush his hair for him. like u’ll be brushing yours, totally by urself fine, and he’ll just look at u and clear his throat until u roll ur eyes and beckon him over

-if u get like a bag of junk food or something,, do nOt leave that shit out, bakugou will finish it 10/10 times. he’ll finish it but then look at u and “why the fuck would u even bring that shit in here, huh? u tryin’ to get me out of shape or somethin?” ,, and u look at him like “idk man maybe just dont eat it then.” ,,, the glARE he gives u in response is muRDEROUS //pls this is quite literally the only area he lacks self control dont remind him\\

-has absolutely no regard for neighbors. he yells a lot and if y’all get noise complaints he just glares and 😡💥at the neighbor until they get scared and leave

-he thinks it’s funny to just subtly move things from time to time. like, for example, lets say plates. ,,, so like, u always keep plates on the left side of a certain cabinet, right?? but if he’s putting dishes away and feeling particularly petulant that day, he’ll just put away the plates on the right side instead. man’s then proceeds to smirk and laugh at u every time u open the wrong side of the cabinent from then on with a “jeez, u rlly are a moron, huh? they’re on the right side, remember?” god he’s annoying

-genuinely enjoys going grocery shopping by himself. like idk he just thinks it’s his quiet, personal time, u kno?? and he enjoys doing super-intense meal prep for the week anyways so he’s gotta make sure he gets the right ingredients

-u just hear muffled screaming from time to time. like u’ll be in the kitchen eating breakfast totally calm, and he’s making the bed and all the sudden just a “jesus fucking christ, swear to fuck im gonna blow up this stupid fuckin’ fitted sheet!” (which honestly??? valid. fuck fitted sheets.)

-if he doesn’t want to hang out with the bakusquad but they’re forcing him he’ll text u something like “I love you.” and then ofc ur like “i love u too. but also, u never just say that to me normally?? is something wrong?” and then total radio silence from him for like 20 mins and u get super worried,, and then he just sends u a video of mina or denki being loud with a “Can you get sick or something? I want to come home.” ,, i- 🧍

- isnt going to want a pet,, but if u have, like, a dog already when u move in with him, then it’s going to become bakugou’s dog. if he’s going to have to have a dog than he’s gonna make sure it likes him more than u

-hates doing laundry. will volunteer to do dishes instead 11/10 times

-he doesn’t sing in the shower but 100% plays the drums on the walls or his own stomach fight me on this

-he hates the smell of nail polish/nail polish remover. so if ur painting ur nails he’ll just walk in the room and walk directly out,, quickest way to get alone time

-speaking of alone time- say bye. u’ll get none of it,,, it’s not that he’s constantly on top of u or like talking to u, he just always sorta ends up in whatever room u are. like a cat, pretty much. like he won’t say anything, but if u get up to do something, he gets up and chooses to move his lounging to somewhere nearby

-he likes to scare the shit out of u. just like, rlly juvenile stuff like hiding around corners just to jump out at u. will just stand there and laugh when u scream, and will never, never apologize

-he gets weirdly worked up about hair?? just hates it, thinks it’s disgusting if he sees a stray hair anywhere. even if its his own. like yes it’s gross ig, but he gets so 🤮 about it

-he does house chores unecessarily loudly. like, u watch him and it seems like he’s doing everything totally normally,, but jesus christ why is it so loud

-gets bitchy around christmas if u decorate without him. he will complain the eNTIRE time if he does have to decorate, but will throw an even bigger fit if u dare to do it without him

-he gets mad if people drive too fast in ur neighborhood/ past ur apartment complex. like, y’all have 0 (zero!) kids, but he’s still up at the window like “Slow the fuck down, asshole! Why the hell doesn’t anyone have any common fuckin’ sense around here? That’s dangerous, you piece of shit!”

-if u sing around the house a lot, it’s the only habit of urs he’ll have absolutely nothing to say about. like it doesn’t even matter if ur a good singer or not, he just likes when he can hear u in the house even if ur not in the same room. he finds it comforting

-bakugou hates having people over to ur place. he thinks of it like his calm-space/safe-haven and it rlly pisses him off when people are there

-on the rare days he doesn’t have to work at all and stays home, mans is a total baby. he just refuses to get up for anything other than bathroom or meals and even then goes straight back to bed. he takes basically a 24 hr nap and expects u to do the same with him he’s so dramatic pls

-will make snarky comments about reality tv shows with u. just the bitchiest shit possible bc he enjoys trash talking as an art form, and absolutely does not care who it’s about

-likes to watch u do skincare stuff. he won’t ask questions and will be borderline offended if u offer some to him, but he just likes to watch u do it. man’s thinks of it as like his personal asmr

-hates online shopping. (pls i have absolutely no explanation for this one i just know its true)

-he has a lot of pride in his house so it’s actually rlly well decorated. like, he would never consent to living somewhere busted, lmaooo, so if u dont kno how to decorate he’ll figure it out for the both of u

-u can always tell if he’s falling asleep bc he constantly does that weird full-body jerk. like the one where it feels like ur falling

[kellinrk800]

toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

[wickedpact]

dear tumblr user crim wickedpact pls write the essay/dissertation about nicky being shakespeare's fair youth (if you have time, ofc!!)

Not To Imply Nicky Was Shakespeare’s Fair Youth But Ive Read The Fair Youth Sonnets & Nicky Was Definitely Shakespeare’s Fair Youth, an essay by me, tumblr user crim wickedpact

background knowledge: our man shakespeare wrote some 120 sonnets about a young man referred to as the Fair Youth during the mid 1590s; there has been some debate among shakespeare enthusiasts whether shakespeare’s interest in the Fair Youth was platonic or romantic (but like. they were definitely romantic). no one knows for sure who the Fair Youth was, but it was definitely nicky and my first and most important piece of evidence regarding this hypothesis is the ‘lmao babe do you remember that guy who had a crush on me?’/ ‘i try not to remember the guy who had a crush on you’ look joe and nicky exchange when Merrick brings up shakespeare during the movie. especially since gina confirmed in a tweet that joe and nicky canonly did know shakespeare

my second piece of evidence is that it just Works (except for a couple small facts like.. the Fair Youth was prolly closer to his 20s than his 30s. and the fact that shakespeare implies that the Fair Youth slept with his mistress at one point. but he doesnt know what hes talking about shhh we IGNORE)

long post under cut

A. The Description Matches

when describing the Fair Youth (who I’ll call the FY from now on), shakespeare says he has a ‘gold complexion’ and ‘beautiful eyes’ and compares him to a ‘summer’s day’. He says the FY has “A woman’s gentle heart" and “An eye more bright than [women’s are], (...) Gilding the object whereupon [they] gazeth”

As much as shakespeare’s perceptions of sexuality and gender are very........  late 1500′s (whoo boy sonnet #20 is a wild ride) ...... the description does match, and also:

  B. The Fair Youth Refused to Get Married

it’s never really said why one way or another (shakespeare assumes it’s because the FY is selfish) but the FY didn’t/wouldn’t take on a wife and have a kid, and this was something that was a real sticker for our man Willy S. because, as he says in his sonnets a million times: beauty doesn’t last forever, but having a child not only passes down the FY’s beauty, but also blesses the woman the FY would have a child with (im not saying shakespeare wanted to bear the FY’s children, but he definitely did)

Whose fresh repair if now thou not renewest, Thou dost beguile the world, unbless some mother. For where is she so fair whose uneared womb Disdains the tillage of thy husbandry?

(ie. If you don’t renew yourself/ have children, you deprive the world and deprive a woman from having your child, since what woman out there is so beautiful that she wouldn’t want to bear your child?)

Like.

1.) if nicky is the FY then so many of these poems center around the idea of nicky growing old sometime soon and that must have been pretty funny to Nicky and

2.)  the fact that shakespeare would have been So Desperate for nicky to find a wife must have been the opposite of funny to joe. considering the ease of his and nicky’s relationship and the fact that being gay in late 1500s england was probably not a walk in the park, it is very likely shakespeare wouldn’t have known they were in a committed relationship-- or at least not known how close they actually were. Thus:

  C. The Rival (aka. Joe)

shakespeare mentions having a poetic rival in regards to the FY in several sonnets. In sonnet #21 he talks about how he’s not like Those Other Writers who use grand metaphors to talk about their muses

So is it not with me as with that Muse, Stirred by a painted beauty to his verse, Who heaven itself for ornament doth use And every fair with his fair doth rehearse, Making a couplement of proud compare With sun and moon, with earth and sea's rich gems, With April's first-born flowers, and all things rare,

(ie. I’m not like other poets who, when inspired by a ‘painted beauty’ use heaven and every other beautiful thing on the planet to make a grand comparison to their muse: he specifically lists the sun and moon as examples as well as other beautiful things)

He then goes on to say

And then believe me, my love is as fair As any mother's child, though not so bright As those gold candles fixed in heaven's air:

(ie. my love [the FY] is as beautiful as any other beautiful person, though I wouldn’t compare them to the stars/heavens (which is what he means by the 'gold candles’. those are stars.))

So shakespeare insults poets who compare their subjects to the sun, moon, and stars (amongst other things) and in the comics, Joe does literally exactly that

That man is the stars in my sky, and the sun that lights my days. That man is the moon when I'm lost in darkness, and warmth when I shiver in cold.

shakespeare also goes on to say in the same sonnet “Let them say more that like of hearsay well / I will not praise that purpose not to sell” which is to say ‘let people who like that kind of language use it, I wont because I don’t want anyone else to have the subject of my affections (the FY)’.

(which is a bit of a contradiction regarding his feelings abt the FY getting married, but these sonnets are full of contradictions. shakespeare was a confused dude; man spent the first 100 or so sonnets convinced the FY loved him back only for him to start wondering if the FY ever loved him near the end)

(not to mention Marriage For Love wasnt really.. much of a thing in Ye Olden Times but thats a different conversation. so shakespeare prolly didnt associate marriage with love/competition? anyways)

Shakesy-boo goes on to complain about this rival several times. In #79, he says

Yet what of thee thy poet doth invent He robs thee of, and pays it thee again. He lends thee virtue, and he stole that word From thy behaviour; beauty doth he give, And found it in thy cheek: he can afford No praise to thee, but what in thee doth live.

(ie. everything ‘your poet’ (as the FY apparently favored this unnamed rival) says about you, he takes it from you in the first place. he talks about your virtue, but learned the word from watching your behavior. he calls you beautiful but only discovered beauty by looking at your face. every compliment he gives you he took from you in the first place)

[and, as a smaller example, he also bemoans the fact that people want to paint the FY in #67, saying, “Why should false painting imitate his cheek, / And steal dead seeming of his living hue?”. and yknow. Joe’s an artist.]

And then another example in #86

Was it the proud full sail of [the rival’s] great verse, Bound for the prize of all too precious you, That did my ripe thoughts in my brain inhearse, Making their tomb the womb wherein they grew?

Was it his spirit, by spirits taught to write Above a mortal pitch, that struck me dead?

(ie. he’s talking about how he’s having difficulty writing abt the FY and is rhetorically asking if ‘the proud sail’ of the rival’s verses was the reason his ‘ripe thoughts’ were killed in their ‘womb’. He then asks (again rhetorically) if it was the rival’s ‘spirit’ (or creativity, maybe) ‘’’‘by spirits taught to write’’’’ that killed his own drive to write. none of the analyses I’ve read really explain what shakespeare means by ‘spirits taught to write’, other than maybe being a joke or reference to something we dont know, but... ‘taught by dead people to write in a way mortal people can’t’ very much sounds like a description of an immortal poet, eh?)

Which brings me to,

  D. Willy Boy Thinks There Are 500 Year Old Writings About the Fair Youth

shakespeare talks about people having written about the FY ‘500 years ago’ from the late 1500s in #59 which......................... would have been around 1100 AD. :thinking face:

Oh that record could with a backward look, Even of five hundred courses of the sun, Show me your image in some antique book, Since mind at first in character was done, That I might see what the old world could say To this composed wonder of your frame;

(ie. Oh if I could look back 500 years and see how you were described in some old books so I could see/reference what people used to write about you)

Which again brings me to,

  E. I’m Not Saying shakespeare Stole From Joe, But:

1.) In #22, shakespeare says this,

For all that beauty that doth cover thee, Is but the seemly raiment of my heart, Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me: 

(ie, your beauty is due to the ‘clothes’ my heart gives you-- probably means something like ‘you’re beautiful because i love you’. goes on to say his heart lives in the FY’s chest, and the FY’s heart lives in shakespeare’s chest)

so: shakespeare tells the FY he has shakespeare’s heart. in comparison, Joe calls nicky ‘my heart’ in the comics...... :thinking face x2:

2.) In #109, shakespeare tells the FY ‘thou art my all’,

For nothing this wide universe I call, Save thou, my rose, in it thou art my all.

which rings similar to Joe’s ‘he’s all and he’s more’ as well as (from the comics) ‘he is my everything’

and just saying. joe looks pretty #done the mention of shakespeare.

  F. The last One

Despite shakespeare writing 30+ poems about the FY eventually growing old, the very last poem he writes about/for the FY says,

O thou, my lovely boy, who in thy power Dost hold Time's fickle glass, his sickle hour; Who hast by waning grown, and therein showest Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self growest. 

(ie. you [the FY] have power over the ‘mirror’ (fickle glass) of time as well as time’s ‘harvesting’ ability (sickle hour) and as you grow older, you remain beautiful while your lovers [shakespeare] wither and grow old)

The transition from ‘get married and have a baby before you get old!!!!’ in #1-20 to talking about the FY’s presence in 500 y/o books in #59 to admitting the FY isn’t growing old in #126 kinda seems to imply shakespeare learning of/about nicky’s immortality at some point, and this last poem is him accepting it.

TLDR: not only does it make perfect sense if nicky was the Fair Youth from the FY sonnets, but it also makes perfect sense if joe was the Rival from the FY sonnets. its canon nothing will convince me otherwise

[honeycowinnit]

insp by this AMAZING piece of art by @jeeb-creeb and that emotional as FUCK vod today, jesus.

tw: dissociation, suicidal thoughts, guilt tripping, mentions of vomit (but only one line)

Tommy doesn't remember picking up the lead. He can't- there are pieces missing, important ones. He's yelling at Sam, then there's the portal, then the lead is in his hand and then-

Tubbo and Ranboo are huddled together, foreheads pinched, and when Tommy stumbles out, he's thinking, Friend, stay with me, keep close. The lead is cutting into his palm, he's holding it so tight.

They can tell as soon as they look up. It's written all over his face, Tommy knows that they know. When they ask, it's to be sure, he's knows that- he'd do the same if the positions were switched- but he can't help the hot well of anger that rises in his throat.

Isn't it obvious? He wants to spit, isn't it fucking clear what happened? Can't you just see it all over me?

But this is Tubbo. And this is Ranboo. And they're what Tommy has. They're all Tommy has. Other than Friend, a voice in Tommy's mind says. It sounds suspiciously like Ghostbur. You still have Friend. Friend always knows how to make it better. So he explains, trying to make himself sound present, trying not to float away.

He knows where they have to go now. He doesn't know what they have to do, what he even can do, what he even should do because when he actually decided to do something it went- Sam's hard voice, shouting, Tommy's hand tightening around a useless axe, Ghostbur, shouting for Tommy, pleading for him-

When Tommy decided to do something, it hurt people. The wrong person. His plan was only- it was only supposed to hurt Dream, maybe himself, whatever, but now-

Now Tommy just had Friend and no clue what to do next.

He's careful when they head over to La'Manburg. He leads Friend only where it's safe. He doesn't take Friend over mounds he can't handle. Doesn't make him cross paths with monsters that he can't take on.

His stupid fucking brain goes, shouldn't you have done that with Ghostbur? Why do you only learn a lesson after someone has been irreversibly hurt?

Tommy doesn't bothering telling it to shut up. It's right.

He's hopeful for half a second that Wilbur wasn't resurrected, that Tommy was just dreaming, that Dream felt terrified enough of how close to death he was to scare Tommy away with empty threats. But then there's that familiar laugh and those curls, newly colored with white streaks. There's Wilbur, standing there, in the flesh, in Ghostbur's spot.

Fuck, Tommy thinks, fuck. How could he- this is all his fault. If he had just fought his way into the prison instead of using Ghostbur as a decoy, then maybe, maybe Sam would've just killed him. Maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about Dream or Wars or disks or death, because he would be-

Friend bleats and nudges at the back of Tommy's leg. Tommy lets out the breath he's been holding.

He can only try his best. That's all anyone can do.

So he tries: he throws Wilbur the blue, asks him what he remembers, tries to find the Ghostbur hopefully hidden inside. He shows Wilbur Friend, asks whether Wilbur knows who he is, asks what he's thinking, where he's going, all the while thinking, please, please, just- let's be together, let's let it be like the very beginning, or better yet, a new start, brand new, we can change together now, we can help each other-

And then Wilbur says, "There was a train station."

And then Wilbur says, "It was hell for me."

And then Wilbur says, "Dream is my hero."

Tommy's breath stutters in his chest and he physically can't look at Wilbur anymore. He pulls at the lead in his hand and Friend presses closer.

Dream, a hero? Dream, who's taken Tommy and twisted him up and broken him down and tried to remake him into his? Dream who thinks Tommy is a fun bunch of legos, Dream who hurts the people and the things that Tommy loves for his own amusement?

That Dream? A Hero?

Wilbur's smile curls on the ends as he recounts Ghostbur and the way he cried, the way that it burned him. Tommy wants to vomit. Wilbur turns to Ranboo and Tubbo and Tommy loses time again, he can't feel his fingers nor his toes, all he can feel is the way his chest aches- the way that it echoes all down his limbs, filling his head with noise.

Wilbur declares that he has plans, many plans, big things coming, and leaves. Ranboo turns to Tommy, expression stricken, hard with anger- "What the hell did you do?"

Tommy doesnt shrink back, but his first thought is, where's Friend, is he behind me? Is he safe?

"I- I was going to fucking kill Dream, i was, but then-" Tommy's tongue ties, "I fucked up, I just- I didn't think he would-"

Ranboo turns away abruptly, leaving, probably tired of hearing the same shit from Tommy since the prison. Tubbo looks caught out for a moment, gaze flickering between Tommy and Ranboo's retreating back. Tommy looks down so he doesn't have to see Tubbo choose Ranboo.

He looks to Friend, who's looking up at Tommy trustingly, naively, thinking that because Tommy has the lead then he'll be safe. Thinking that there's no way Tommy would ever do him any wrong.

Friend looks up at Tommy with the same glowing trust Ghostbur did right before Tommy got him fucking killed.

Fuck. Fuck.

Friend always knows how to make it better, Ghostbur told him. Whenever I feel sad I go to him.

Okay, Tommy thinks. Okay Ghostbur.

He collapses to his knees, curls his arms around Friend and buries his face in the blue wool. He shakes and sobs and all the while Friend stays there, quiet except for the occasional bleat. If tommy squeezes his eyes shut hard enough, he can imagine that Friend is Ghostbur, and that Tommy was more careful with his lead.