#will be making you friendship bracelet one day when i have the resources

[tex-now]

BRACELET!!!! FOR YOU!!! ❤️❤️❤️

MARZZY WHAT THE FUCK....

IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYY/POS POS POS PO

[kavehpilled]

ALL of them.

OK SO YIU HATE ME

1. how many followers do you have?

somewhere around 1.7k i lost track a long time ago

2. whens the last time you went on a date?

june? its been so long ☹️

3. how many posts have you made?

WELL over 20k this account is 3 years old

4. what type of shoes do you wear?

white avia elevates or my blue converse

5. what color are the walls of your room?

cream at my moms, brown at my dads

6. where are you right now?

in english im about to pull the trigger

7. would you consider yourself good at art?

perchance…. i know im alright enough at it that people like my art and make it their pfp sometimes. i even have a mutual that printed a drawing i did of atsushi and put it on their wall💀

8. who was your first kiss?

you😛

9. do you still sleep with stuffed animals?

YEA LIKE 5 LMFAO

10. whats your favorite piece of clothing you own?

i have a really nice red cardigan that i basically live in at home

11. do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

suburban all around i think i dont remember

12. whats your favorite store to shop at?

goodwill🫶

13. if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

gentle i think

14. do you collect anything?

classic novels! im restarting my collection of tiny bear figurines and friendship bracelets tho

15. whats the last thing you ate?

i had a banana applesauce like an hour ago :)

16. if you go to therapy, do you like your therapist?

i go once a month and shes nice! got me referrals for diagnoses so that was chill

17. whats one thing you want to buy, but dont have the money or resources to get it?

WRIOTHESLEY DOLL.

18. whos the first person you can think of?

you

19. how old were you when you found out santa wasnt real?

i think ~5? my cousin told me :(

20. if you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what would it be?

jjk bro pls revive and continue for me. i need satosugu to be happy

21. do you consider yourself a part of any alternative subculture?

i dont think so!

22. who was your childhood favorite music artist?

taylor swift or sir mix a lot

23. cds or record players?

despite my extensive cd collection i would say records

24. do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

i wish but i think too rationally for any of that

25. would you get back together with an ex if given the opportunity?

i think people always deserve a second chance and we are legitimate living proof of that, even if that concept like translates into relationships. im nowhere near ready for anything right now but if i ever got back together with ANYONE they would have to change a lot. i have hope in everyone tho

26. favorite kids show character?

kwazii from octonauts :)

27. is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend?

yeah!

28. when youre sad, do you prefer to listen to music to match your mood, or listen to happy music?

sad music all the way. i rarely cry so when im genuinely upset its nice to get it out to sad songs yk

29. whats the last outfit you wore?

im a chronic outfit repeater so. white turtleneck under a dark green sweater that has pumpkins all over it and dark brown cargo pants. ive worn this like 10 times

30. do you have any online friends?

YES alice ezra and skylia are the ones i talk to the most!! but i have a lot of mutuals i love interacting with ppl

31. least favorite clothing style that is currently popular?

those white fox hoodies make me carnally angry

32. how often do you do your laundry?

once a week at my dads, twice a week at my moms. its a weird system but i have more clothes at my moms currently

33. do you prefer silver or gold jewelry?

gold, silver makes me look sad and grungy

34. whats your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?

i like reading cherry crush on webtoon when im bored💀🙏

35. if you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?

id probably dye it to calico colors but im scared ill look like a goof

36. do you paint your nails?

sometimes! i did them blue like for a day and then i got bored. i pick at them too much so its like a little treat

37. whats an uncommon/specific/ obscure topic youre interested in?

vampire burial practices and eastern european rituals

38. whats the name of your first pet?

KITTY💀 he was an orange cat that got eaten by coyotes

39. whats one feature you would change on tumblr?

im not active enough to notice anything…

40. whats the most interesting item you own?

i think a tiny glass giraffe i love him

41. would you rather go on a date at a museum or a concert?

museum all the way i love intimacy with that kinda thing

42. whats one regret you have?

i could go into extensive detail about what i seriously regret in my life but i think my main one is not telling you enough before we split apart

[vinnymauro]

i wanna hear more about these friendship bracelets!!! how do you make them and how did you get into making them?

hi!! so i've been doing this on and off since the mid 90s/early 00s. but i wasn't good at it and could only make very simple ones. youtube is something i did not have before now so it means i can try something new!! i think it was a combination of summer daycare and my sisters being 10 & 8 years older than me, so i just remember summers of friendship bracelets. like depending on which age my sisters were. then i would pick it up periodically, like in high school and about 7 years ago i worked in a mall near a michaels so i picked it up again.

before i link you a couple of comprehensive videos i do want to say i haven't watched all of them in full considering i already knew the basics, i just need to learn patterns and whatnot. but i think they'll be so helpful for any new beginner.

beginner's guide to bracelet making by masha knots. there are SO many resources in the description and the video is broken down in segments for easy browsing. there are a lot of different tutorials on the page as well i'll probably be looking into the channel a little bit more when i decide to try alpha bracelets. this chevron tutorial is one i've followed and it was very easy. i think this one also shows you how to undo a knot that got messed up which is helpful!!

this is a very good video on how to tie the different knots you make by knotliketheothers. it's slow and easy to follow. i attempted this loop and chevron video.

honestly, i think it's just a fun little hobby!! i'm currently waiting for my day off so i can go buy more embroidery floss (it's really inexpensive tbh they sell like 50 packs for abt 6 dollars?) and hopefully an organizer bc for some reason i decided that keeping everything in a plastic bag for like 7 years was a good idea. it's a lot of fun to just sit and make these knots. i just started doing this again maybe like 2 days ago and i'm already making a third bracelet. and my best friend wants me to make her two (it's why i need floss bc i don't have the right shades of pink/magenta for pan pride or bi pride for that matter). below i'll attach a picture of the two i've made and the start of the third. i hope that you think about possibly doing this if you need something quiet to do.

another thing, i would look into getting a clipboard because tape is sometimes very annoying to work with. what keeps me wonky i think is just like where i'm placed bc my desk table is curved. anything to keep you able to be straight and keep some tension is super helpful!!

the black orange purple green one is inspired by halloween, oogie boogie and motionless in white's deadstream ii. the other one is bi colors but like. not exact. which is why i need more floss!! also im still not that great at it but practice makes perfect. also bob ross taught me that you don’t make mistakes, you make happy little accidents.

[freewillacquired]

“Maybe one day,” she said. A smile made an appearance on her face, something that was getting rarer and rarer the longer this apocalypse went on. “But not today.”

She sighed when Nemesis explained his efforts pre-apocalypse. When anything important came up, the people speaking always seemed to be talked over and ignored. K-Mart certainly had experienced that in her lifetime, no matter how short it was, and it angered her beyond words. Didn’t anyone realize when someone had a valid point to make? She believed people were inherently good, but this apocalypse was really testing that. In any case, she was trying her best to stay on the good side, whatever that meant. Nemesis’ protection of her was something that had helped her maintain some of her innocence, and she was thankful to him for it.

“Well, maybe when everything is over, we’ll teach people how to be better listeners. We’d have a lot less problems that way, I think.” K-Mart looked into the distance pensively before she started digging around in the small messenger bag she kept. She’d made Nemesis a friendship bracelet, and she offered it up to him. When they were clearing a house, she’d found a kit of beads, and she’d eagerly gotten to work. Her art, in many forms, was one of the few things that made her genuinely ecstatic in times like these, and she loved giving it to people. It wasn’t meant to be hidden from the world, after all. “Hey! I forgot to tell you, but… this is for you. I tried my best to measure your wrist, but it was sorta supposed to be a surprise, and I don’t think any amount of string could ever really cover your whole wrist, but… hopefully it fits somewhat decently?”

A quarter mile. So close, yet so far. K-Mart’s ears were ringing, a sign that she was going to pass out sooner rather than later. She closed her eyes, and she hoped the feeling would pass.

“Matt, I feel a little woozy. Can we… take a break?”

__________

Nemesis knew he had to keep K-Mart smiling and laughing, even thought there wasn’t much cause to do either at this point. Not only would doing so keep a part of her alive that was extremely important, or at least save it from being corrupted by the world as it was now, but it would also keep that same part of him safe too. As a human being, Matt had always relied upon his sense of humor. For attention, to make himself feel good, to make others laugh and smile, or to get people through rough times. That last one was the reason he kept it up now. Where would K-Mart be without him right now? He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t doubt her resourcefulness, but the world just wasn’t the same place it was a few years ago. Better to protect her while keeping up some sense of ridiculousness too, for the sake of normalcy.

“That sounds... like a great i-dea. Others do need to learn... to listen. I agree. ” he said. “I was nether good... at teach-ing though. In school... I was... the class clown.” He followed that with a chuckle. Thinking about what life might be like after this was hard for K-Mart, he knew, but maybe it was necessary. Even if there wasn’t much of a future to be had, it was important to strive for something. Without anything to keep one going on a daily basis, it was easy to just give up. Well, Nemesis wasn’t about to let that happen to her.

When she offered him a bracelet she’d made just for him, Nemesis was truly touched. Most people couldn’t even look at him without shrieking in terror, and yet here K-Mart was, making him presents. It was so nice. “Thank you... K-Nart,” he said, taking it from her and looking it over before attempting to put it on. It was a little bit of a snug fit, but he managed to get it on. “This is so cool,” he said. “You’re thery ta-len-ted.”

When she said she was a little woozy, he wondered if maybe the heat was getting to her. Water was probably what she needed, but he also didn’t want to push her if she wasn’t feeling good. “Sure we can,” he said. “Or I can car-ry you... ith you want. You night need... wa-ter. It’s real-ly hot.” 

[sleepydrabbles]

To be honest, sometimes I’m scared of the word ‘kind’. The word ‘nice’ is another hard one to hear. And ‘thank you’.

I acknowledge that I do quite a lot of nice things. But I don’t have a lot of nice thoughts, to such a degree that to have one is almost euphoric for me. A lot of the time the nice things I do come from the excitement of those nice thoughts.

I do quite a lot of things because they make people happy, and making people happy makes me happy. But I also like making people upset. For a while, I didn’t feel like any of the stories I wrote were a success unless someone told me the story made them cry. Furthermore, I get the same rush from someone acting pissed with me as I do when someone is happy I did something for them. More often than not, the fact that I caused a reaction seems to be the driving point.

But lately, I do seek positive reactions more often than negative. I want to know people’s favorite colors, and that leads to wanting to make them a friendship bracelet. Someone mentions they have a milk allergy, and from that point onward I try to find something without dairy in it whenever I bring treats for the unit back home. Someone has two cats, and they like cats; as soon as they’re close enough to me to be comfy, I send cat videos every so often. I want people to smile when they see me, and I want them to know someone thinks of them, even a little bit.

My stories and artwork have become really hard to share lately, and harder to create. I realized recently that I had gone too far in that direction and given too much of my time away to other people. I don’t regret it, and I enjoyed all of it (almost— sometimes my feet hurt quite a bit, and that was rough), but my inner child was furious, to put it lightly. It reminded me that while learning is a personal endeavor, the readings and assignments I complete are also something I do for someone else, and they count as time given to someone else, which meant that I had maybe a spare hour or two I was spending with myself, for myself. A date out to a local museum and arranging my work so I would have a full day off with nothing to do have gone a long way toward helping with that, but it’s also brought back that little flinch at ‘nice’ and ‘kind’.

I could dig down and blame my religious upbringing, the people around me who had service-based love languages but struggled to return the affection to me (I was very touch and praise-based at the time, and looking back, it hurts to know how hard they were trying). Hell, I could blame it on trust issues from previous relationships, where it felt like those labels were used to other me instead of as true praise. But I think the real root of it is that I know my core, and while I know that it is warm, and solid, and that I love to give to others when I have the resources to do so, neither of those words really describe it. It feels like a misnomer. I know how cruel I can be, especially when I’m angry, and I know that even on my best days that little smolder of cruelty is still a part of me. My sweet, lovely, amazing friends love to deny it, but I see that more as a reflection of them than me.

I don’t mean to bring myself down by saying that, either. The same fire that warms the hands can burn them pretty badly, right? I feel like a hot coal, more often than not. As long as people are at just a little bit of distance, they love me. The second they have me in their hands, though…

[lazypeachsoul]

you promise?

Request: by anon “Could you write an Osferth drabble. About anything you'd like. Please and thank you.”

Warnings: Nothing.

Word count: 1,8k

A/N: Here's the first fic for The Last Kingdom Week! Hope you enjoy some sweet baby monk. I might have gone overboard with this story, but I can't help it when it comes to osferth. Enjoy 🌼

The streets of Cookham were bustling with workers returning home from the fields that surrounded the village. Thanks to Lord Uhtred and his fame the once forgotten town had become a stop for every merchant that traveled through Wessex and the workload had increased. And you were no different than any of those other people.

The sun was now setting and it was your time to return the children you minded back to their homes, where their overworked parents would take care of them. It wasn’t normal for common workers to have child minders, normally leaving the kids at home with their mothers, but Cookham was busier than ever and women were working the fields too. And that left you to take care of the little rascals that lived in town.

You had tried to work as a seamstress and at the alehouse, but nothing seemed to really suit you. Well, at least until you started taking care of the kids. You didn’t get much pay since the people you worked for were underpaid to begin with, but the little you got you saved for a new fabric, or a sweet treat or for those times you would meet Osferth at the alehouse and you wanted to prove him that you were a hard working woman.

And how you loved those times. Osferth seemed to always be busy either training or meeting with the rest of what had now been named the “Cookham squad”. Lord Uhtred and his loyal warriors were the talk of all Wessex and a great source of gossip for the entire town. Lord Uhtred and his beautiful wife Gisela took care of the people that lived inside their walls. Then there was Finan, the loud irishman who seemed to bring joy and fun to any occasion celebrated, always close to him was Sihtric, the mysterious dane who didn’t speak much but said a lot with just a look. And the last one was the monk who is not really a monk Osferth.

When you first met him you were trying to learn to become a barmaid and accidentally tripped on his foot, sending a pitcher of ale flying everywhere and leaving you both embarrassed and asking for mutual forgiveness. Since that moment, you had started to meet together at the alehouse every few days, providing you with a nice friendship but keeping all the rules a respectable young unmarried woman should follow.

And that’s exactly where you were headed after dropping your last child at home with his grateful mother. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw the familiar blonde mop of hair sitting on one of the outside benches, and you had to admit to yourself that maybe it was more than just casual meetings at the alehouse. At that moment Osferth turned around and waved in your direction and with a small wave you made your way to the bench, sitting in front of him.

“I thought you didn’t see me, you looked distracted.” Osferth's sweet voice spoke and you had to admit he was right, you almost missed it because of your constant daydreaming about the man. But you couldn’t admit that.

“Excuse me, the children were wild and I’m extremely tired. Must be because of the nice weather.”

“Maybe we should meet another day, I wouldn’t want to tire you more Lady-” “No!”

You hadn’t been able to stop the agitated answer from coming out when you heard his dismissal. You were tired but never too tired to stop meeting Osferth. You could feel your cheeks hot with embarrassment and you tried to clear your throat to diffuse the tension.

“I mean, I would rather stay here with you and relax with a friend.”

Osferth’s face seemed to harden at your words but as soon as the barmaid brought you two cups of ale everything seemed to go back to normal, except for a small curious voice at the back of your head wanting to know why the expression changed.

“A friend. Of course. I enjoy the time we spend together too.” He nodded his head, his blonde hair falling in front of his eyes before taking a sip from his cup. “The weather is really nice so I wouldn’t blame the children. Lord Uhtred told us that the weather would turn nicer before we leave.”

You felt the ale you had been drinking get stuck in your throat but you tried to conceal it with a soft cough so as to not cause a scene in the packed alehouse. Leave? They were leaving?

“Are you leaving soon? You didn’t say anything before.”

“Lord Uhtred just confirmed it this morning. The King has requested the Lord’s help in some negotiations with the danes. He thought it best for us to accompany him since his history with the king is not the most amicable.”

You nodded along as he spoke but your brain was overworking itself trying to comprehend the situation. They were leaving to assist the King of Wessex and they would leave Cookham unattended for God knows how long. Of course the real reason you were worried was not the village, Lady Gisela could take care of it and more without a problem, you were worried about Osferth and you. Was there even an 'Osferth and you' to worry about?

“That’s...great that the King and our Lord are speaking again. Maybe it might help us get resources from the crown.” You tried to excuse your previous silence but it must have been obvious you were deep in thought because Osferth looked at you with a curious face. “And when are you leaving?”

“We’re expected to depart tomorrow morning. Apparently those matters are very important and require us to be there as soon as possible.” He shrugged in a move to downplay the entire situation.

Silence was the only thing that could be heard from your side of the bench, a deep contrast from the rest of the groups happily chatting and drinking. The table was silent but your mind was not, still overthinking every word your companion had said. You were overthinking so much that you almost missed his quiet voice.

“I am going to miss you.” Osferth spoke and as soon as you looked at him again he seemed to flush. “And our conversations. Or friendly conversations as...friends.”

You wanted to laugh at the poor man in front of you. In the many months you had known Osferth you had never seen him that flustered in his life, cheeks and ears bright red and a stuttering mess.

“I’m going to miss you too Osferth. And our friendly meetings.” You placed your hand next to his on the table next to his, not wanting to overstep and make the poor man more uncomfortable.

He moved his hand carefully almost imperceptibly until his fingers touched yours and a warm feeling ran down your entire arm from your hand. He seemed to be the one deep in thought at the moment and you almost wished you could pick at his brain to see what was going on. Is that how he felt every time you zoned out?

“Maybe you could remember me-” “Of course I’m going to remember you Osferth, don’t be silly. You are not going to war, only a mission for the king.”

A nervous chuckle was the only thing he could let out now and his reactions were starting to worry you a bit. If it was only a small trip he shouldn't have been that nervous.

“Let me finish. Maybe if I gave you something that you could remember me by, it would be easier.”

“You don’t have to do that, Osferth. I will remember you anyways.” You tried to reason with him but you couldn’t stop him from moving to look for something in the pockets of his robes.

After a bit of fussing with the robes he placed his closed fist on top of your hand, opening it just enough for something small and metallic to fall into your hand. Moving your hand closer you found a small fragile chain that seemed to have been at least as old as you.

“It’s not much, just a scrap of metal if you try to sell it. But it was my mother’s, the only thing I have from her. I hid it from the monks when I was growing up so they wouldn’t take it away. Carried it into battle with me every time I’ve fought too.”

Every single word of the explanation seemed to make your throat close a bit more and your eyes glossier. You knew Osferth had no real memories with his mother and you could imagine how important that bracelet must have been for him.

“I can’t accept it, it’s so important to you. Why would you give it to me?” You debated with your head shaking and trying to push the chain into his hand again. “Don’t be silly, Osferth. It’s your mother’s bracelet.”

“You must keep it. Please.” He kept his fist tightly closed to avoid you giving him back the piece of jewelry. “I want you to have it.”

“But I don’t have anything to give you in return.”

You kept trying to pry his fist open, all in vain because he wouldn’t even budge. You wanted to get up and hug him for such a meaningful gesture and hit him at the same time for wanting to part with such a meaningful piece.

“You have.” He spoke, grabbing your hand and halting your movements. “Maybe you can give me your promise.”

You looked at him curiously at what his proposal might be. Maybe he just wanted you to take care of Lady Gisela, you knew how he saw her as the mother he never had. Or maybe he wanted you to care for Lord Uhtred’s children.

“You can promise me that once I’m back from Wincester you will allow me to properly court you.” He explained and you felt your heart stop. “I-If you want, of course.”

Courting Osferth was not something you had thought about, mainly because you had nothing to offer. Your parents didn’t have fields or many resources they could offer a prospective husband. And Osferth was a warrior, so you thought settling down seemed to be out of the picture for him. But you had to admit the idea made your stomach turn in the best way possible.

You realized you had been thinking for a long time and still hadn’t given an answer when you felt him squeezing your hand. Could you promise him something like that?

“I promise.” Of course you could, the idea of a lifetime with Osferth only made you more excited about life. “Only you have to promise me to come back soon.”

He nodded with enthusiasm, moving his hands to take the small chain from your delicate hand and clasp it around your wrist. This mission hadn’t even started and you already wanted it to end.

Taglist: @webreathfandoms @thebohemianpenguin @emilyhufflepufftlk @solinarimoon

[cqlfeels]

Hope no one minds if I share a half-baked 3zun theory with the class 😊

It really is half-baked and is shared more like a drunk guy yelling in the subway than like a fandom scholar presenting a lecture 💖

So, sworn brotherhood is way more complicated than exchanging friendship bracelets and promising to be BFFs. It involves the families of all sworn brothers (and we know how important families are in the world of MDZS/CQL) and, for political leaders, it unavoidably gets tangled up in politics. Though speaking of modern-day rather than historical sworn brotherhood, this paper does a pretty good job outlining the functions of ritual kinship, and it's very readable, so I do think people who are Into Serious Meta would enjoy it:

Anyway, here's why WWX speculates 3zun swore brotherhood:

Ever since Meng Yao betrayed the QingheNie Sect, the relationship between Nie MingJue and him hadn’t been the same as before. Then why did they later become sworn brothers? From his observations, aside from how Lan XiChen brought it up, having always hoped that the two would reconcile, the most important factor was probably the gratitude of saving his life and writing the letters. To be precise, in his past battles, he had more-or-less depended on the information that Meng Yao sent over through Lan XiChen. He still thought that Jin GuangYao was a talented person whom one would rarely come upon, and intended on leading him back onto the right path. However, Jin GuangYao wasn’t his subordinate anymore. Only after they became sworn brothers would he have the status and the position to urge Jin GuangYao, like how he disciplined his younger brother, Nie HuaiSang.

Standard unreliable narrator disclaimers apply, etc.

But I always found this... Strange. I do think this is part of NMJ's motivation, but I think gratitude for JGY's role in the war is not nearly enough to swear brotherhood (WWX was also instrumental to winning Sunshot, and I just can't imagine NMJ saying "that's enough for him to become my brother"), and I... Don't think NMJ is so charitable as to swear brotherhood because he wants oh so much for JGY to be Good and not waste his talents. Yes I think he loves being able to have authority over JGY again, but enough to justify swearing brotherhood? Eh. I can see LXC suggesting both these things to pitch the idea to NMJ, but I don't think it's enough for NMJ to go from active distrust to ritual kinship. Of course these are important factors, yes, but not the whole picture. For all else you can say about NMJ, that he takes oaths lightly isn't an accusation you can make.

Interestingly, besides mutual affection, etc, LXC and JGY immediately gain material benefits by becoming brothers. JGY gains social capital by being held up as being close to two different sect leaders, and washes away his past work for the Wen by ritually aligning himself with the two heroes of Sunshot. LXC, on the other hand, can get financial help for his destroyed Sect without losing face - he's not begging for help, he's just gracefully accepting his brothers' generosity. For xiyao, sworn brotherhood brings some measure of stability to the power play they're entangled in the post-war world - JGY exchanges his sect's resources for the soft power of the Lan. (Note that JGY also gets a way to justify to his father why the Jin will lose face if they don't help the Lan, which, if you read JGY as genuinely wanting to help LXC, is also a perk for both of them.)

And NMJ......... Gets to scold JGY into virtue, I guess??? What benefit is he looking for? Just personal satisfaction??? Is he not Nie-zongzhu, isn't he considering his sect? I mean, the Nie as a sect gain nothing by their brotherhood...... Unless you remove NMJ out of the picture. When NHS gets to power, the Nie are poised to gain a lot.

Although both JGY and LXC clearly love NHS, if he outlived his political usefulness (and let's face it, NMJ is sure he will), there's no way they can justify to their sects why they're helping him indefinitely. If NHS is their sworn brother's heir, though? They don't even have to explain themselves - they're expected to help.

Even if NHS is a disastrous sect leader, he automatically inherits an unbreakable alliance with 2/3 of the major sects. The Jiang sure as hell won't go to war against all the other major sects put together, and LXC won't allow the Lan to be anything but nice to NHS as long as he can possibly help it. The Jin are more of a wildcard because NMJ has no reason to believe JGY will ever inherit leadership, but NHS - and by extension his sect - having a Jin on his side is better than no Jin at all. Plus if JGS were a normal father it'd be super awkward for him to go up against one of his son's sworn brothers' sect. There's always assassination and all, but hey, NMJ can't fix every thing in one fell swoop, can he?

So like, I'm not saying it's canon or anything, but it is possible that NMJ - who may be a hot-headed dude but must be capable of some level of strategizing, if he's such a great military man - was counting on dying before his time and leaving behind a beloved but incompetent brother who needs every advantage NMJ can get him if the Nie are to not disappear in a generation. I don't believe he'd take such an oath solely to Turn JGY Into An Upstanding Citizen, but I definitely believe he'd take whatever oath he had to if it's to ensure the protection of both NHS and the Nie sect.

I still have to think things through (maybe this whole theory will fall apart if I remember some direct contradiction or another) but for now I'm inclined to headcanon that this was like, 50% of his motivation, the other 50% being divided among the other reasons WWX outlined.

[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are.  He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them.  But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything.  Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.  If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

  C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things.  When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together.  Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest.  He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you.   He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed.  Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well.  He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you.  “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself.  “We’re done.  I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can.  You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you.  After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met.  Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle.  Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you.  I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them.  He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling.  That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you.  He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

  I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his.  He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure).  After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you.  The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N.  I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you.  If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately.  Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you.  “Are you alright, my dear?”  As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours.  He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass.  He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs.  He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him.  He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up.  But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup.  On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time).  He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes.  “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you.  Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room.  Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side.  You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me).  When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself.  Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you.  You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical.  He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal.  It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.”  Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table.  The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco.  The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you.  After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting.  “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously.  Draco just smiled.  “I like her, Father.  She’s not Mother, but I like her.”  He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times.  He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe.  Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries.  Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level.  Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there.  His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered.  He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention.  He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you.  He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man?  Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot.  At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you.  When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing.  You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long.  The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?   Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious.  Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious.  He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.  

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep.  He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out

[onomonopetabread]

Declawing the Cat - Chapter 3

(Sorry it took so long guys, between testing and homework and executive functioning, I could NOT get this done. Anyways,

“Father, do I have to go?” Adrien asked for the hundredth time.

“Of course Adrien. I refuse to go on a business trip as important as this one without you. You’re my son.”

Felix rolled his eyes. He and his mother were visiting the two bachelors (against his actual will, obviously). Everyone in the room knew the real reason why Adrien had to go; he was the face of the brand, and it was common fashion knowledge that to go to such a high-ranking event without your leading model would get you shunned and cancelled. ‘You’re my son’ EVERYONE’S arse.

It was obvious that Adrien was all too aware of this fact, because he couldn’t seem to run out of excuses for why he couldn’t go.

Well, he could also not wish to go because of how brain-numbingly boring the whole affair is, and honestly, who could blame him? This year’s Annual Pre-Junior’s Fashion Competition Assembly was being held in Sydney, and all of the biggest names in the industry were going to attend. The assembly takes place over the course of two. Entire. Months. For what, not even the attendees know. Felix swears, these designers were as mad as a bag of ferrets.

I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing, like Miss I’m-all-that Ginger Breadhouse, you’d probably be in Seventh Heaven there, but if you were, how do you say, normal, you’d sell your soul to be another else. In fact, Felix could almost bet Chat Noir’s Miraculous that Adrien would sign that demonic contract in a heartbeat if that were an option.

“But Father, what about school? I’ll miss so much instruction-”

“Natalie will tutor you, just like she did before you attended that … institution.”

“And my fencing practice? Surely, you wouldn’t want me to miss out on those.”

“Adrien, are you suggesting that they don’t have fencing areas in Sydney?”

“No, I’m just saying that fencing without Kagami wouldn’t be the same…”

“Well, you aren’t going to be fencing with her forever, so think of this as a sample for the future. Now, no more of this arguing, Adrien. You are going to the Assembly and that’s final. Have I made myself clear?”

Adrien’s shoulders slumped in defeat and for a heartbeat, Felix felt sympathetic. “Yes, Father.”

“Good, now go pack some clothes you will need for the weeks. We won’t be at the events the entire time, so I will permit you to bring some of your own wardrobe. Please remember we will be there for a long time, so pack accordingly.”

And with that, they were all dismissed. Adrien trugged upstairs looking particularly peeved. He invited Felix to come with him, and Felix agreed, but only to keep up appearances. If he knew any better, Felix would have sworn that he heard him talking to someone on the way up, but he decided to ignore it; he couldn’t be bothered to guess what weird habits his wanker of a cousin had.

Once they got to Adrien’s room, Felix sat himself down at the piano while Adrien took out a suitcase from his closet and started choosing some informal clothing for when they were just doing day-to-day activities.

“Can you believe that he’s making me go, Felix?”

“Yes, I can believe it.”

“AND we have to leave tomorrow! I won’t even get the chance to say goodbye to our friends.

“Not to worry, cousin dearest. I’ll tell them for you. Anyways, don’t look at this trip as a burden, look at it as a new opportunity. You can gather information and resources for your friend Marinette.”

Adrien’s face brightened at the mention of his friend and Felix rolled his eyes when his back was turned. He swears, all it takes to cheer him up was to be reminded that Pigtails was alive and well somewhere on the planet.

“You’re right, Felix! This way I can help her pursue her dreams! I can’t wait until we get back to tell her everything I’ve learned about the industry.”

“...Can’t you just text or call her?”

“You mean with my phone?”

“No Adrien, I mean with a plastic banana you can buy at the baby store. Yes I mean your phone!”

Adrien paused in the middle of folding a t-shirt and packing it into a suitcase. “I didn’t tell you? Father confiscated it for ‘my own good’. He thinks I spend too much time around my friends and not enough time focusing on my studies, so it’s with him for the time being.”

Well, there goes Felix’s plan to pull a quick cell prank before Adrien leaves. “Adrien Bartholomew Agreste, is that resent I hear in your voice?”

“Yes, it is. I’m tired of responsibilities and having people depend on me every second that I breathe. That’s why I wanted to go to school in the first place; it gives me eight hours of non-Agreste related freedom.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. What did this boy know about responsibilities? All he had to do was play a keyboard, wave a stick around, and look pretty for pictures. Felix couldn’t understand how a job like that could burden someone so badly.

“Goodness, Adrien. You make it sound as though Uncle asks you to carry the weight of the entire ever-loving world on your shoulders.”

Adrien sighed. “That’s just how I feel, sometimes. Anyways, I think these are all of the casual clothing Father will let me take with me. Maybe if I’m lucky, he might not see the video game I hid under them all.”

The next day was a Saturday, so Felix the delivery boy was going to have to give the mega-twits the message at a later time. Today, it was all about acting as emotional as he could for the departure of his Cousin & Co. gabriel thought it would be a good idea for Felix and his mother to stop by the mansion every once in a while to make sure everything was all right, accounted for, and in the case of the house plants, watered. This was news to Felix. He doubted his uncle was even a living being, let alone the type of person to have plants in his home. Right now, they were standing next to the family limo. Natalie and gabriel were talking to Ape Man about transportation in Australia.

“Oh, darling Adrien, I’m so sad to see you go. We only just now got here, and you’re leaving. Why must the fates keep up apart?”

“It’s alright, Aunt Amilie. We’ll be back before you even realize we’re gone.”

“We? Oh, I wasn’t talking about your father, dear. I wouldn’t mind some time away from him. Anyways, I hope you have the best time in Australia. Bring something back for me, will you? I’ve always wanted to get a real boomerang, ever since I was a young girl.”

“I’ll be sure to get you the best boomerang in the country, Aunt A. What about you Felix? Do you want me to get you anything?”

Felix, who was standing some ways behind the others, pretended to ponder it over. “Bring me a friendship bracelet.”

“...A friendship bracelet?”

“If you can’t find one it’s okay I really don’t mind-”

“No, I’ll get you a bracelet. I was only surprised because you aren’t really the type to want one.”

He’s right- there was no way on Good Green Earth would he want some dingly little arts and crafts project. There also wasn’t any way that maybe he wanted his cousin thinking about him during his trip, that he wanted to envision Adrien getting something for him. Don’t even think about considering that Felix felt bad for him, dealing with the devil himself in a new place and wanting to give him something to do. Nope. Not a chance. Felix simply thought that Adrien would look hilarious running around Australia looking for beads and twine.

“...Just make sure you make me a good one, alright?”

Adrien smiled as though he could read right into Felix’s mind, and of course he had to look completely handsome in doing so. Stupid model. They practically had the same face and somehow Felix ended up looking like the off-brand knockoff.

“Adrien, we have to go now. The plane leaves in five hours,” gabriel said, entering the car.

“Why do we need to leave so soon?”

“So that I can buy fabrics with threads, gather all of my designs, double check with Natalie that the suite is still booked for us-”

“Alright, Father. I understand. Well, bye Felix. I’ll miss you.”

With that, he entered the limousine and the four of them drove away.

“Come Felix. Let’s go check the house for anything they might have accidentally left behind. We wouldn’t want them to leave something important,” said Amilie, still a little teary-eyed over the loss of her precious little baby nephew. She couldn’t stand the idea of being away from him for so long, even though his look-alike (her own bloody son) was right in front of her. Of course, Felix wasn’t bitter! Why wouldn’t ever say such a thing?

“Yes, Mother. Would you like me to check Adrien’s room?”

“Please, dear. Oh, look at you, watching over your cousin! And to think you said you wouldn’t like him!”

It was as though his mother never met him. Couldn’t she see that he was just trying to gain some sort of upper hand against Mr. Perfect or to uncover a secret of his? On the sunny side, at least he knows his facade is effective. He was beginning to worry that someone other than Blue-Eyed Phoenix Wright would figure him out.

Felix pushed open the door of Adrien’s room and immediately began to look around and turn things over. He was being extremely careful to make sure that everything he touched was put back in the place he got it from. After looking through his closet and library, however, he was disappointed to find that Adrien was actually as innocent as he seemed (and acted). In fact, the worst thing he could find was a disturbing amount of Ladybug memoria. It was a pity, really. Felix hadn’t blackmailed anyone in a long time, and he was beginning to get antsy. He turned around and headed out.

“Adrien, is that you? I thought you said you weren’t going to come back for another two months.”

Felix did a complete 180 and faced the source of the voice, which seemed to be some sort of floating cat-thing. It looked like a deer in headlights.

“You aren’t Adrien. Wait, are you okay, you seem to be swaying-?”

The thing was right; he was feeling woozy, and it didn’t take him that long to hit the floor, having fainted. The last thing he heard was the talking cat muttering,

“Shit.”

@myazael @2confused-2doanything @thecaptainthunder @thatonecroc @symwinter @mermaidreject @pink-and-bunny @kyrakitesong @your-number-one-second-choice @kayla0binow @hansa-12 @fc-studios @nom-the-king @thetrashypanda423 @chez-pezeater @supertomboyprincess @alyceeve @ceres-zephyr @swiftie-miraculer13 @justafanwarrior @marinettepotterandplagg @starlightshield @sandraf0612

[cno-inbminor]

adsentio - bonus letters

a/n: written in the royalty!au. i would recommend reading adsentio for context, but it’s not absolutely necessary. as suggested, this is just a little add-on/bonus snippet that popped into my head. 

summary: prince akaashi suddenly begins writing letters to you on the months you’re not there. you’d be lying if you said you weren’t beginning to look forward to them.

royalty!au: adsentio (pt. 1) | bonus letters (pt 1.5) | the masque (pt. 2)

-

Dear Princess (Y/n),

My mother plans to arrange a ball in your honor when you turn 18 next summer. It appears that she and your mother already started making arrangements a few months ago while you were still here. They plan on inviting other nearby kingdoms – I believe many other dukes and princes will plan to attend. Your coming-of-age is worthy of celebration, but I thought I could help relieve some of the pressure by periodically filling you in on the plans. In fact, I believe they’d like to make it a masquerade ball. Is that something you would enjoy?

I hope this letter has been safely given to you. There is no rush for a response, but if I must be honest, I look forward to receiving your letter soon. Again, there is no rush. I hope you are in good health.

Sincerely,

Prince Akaashi

-

Your Highness,

It is very kind of you to go through the trouble of sending correspondence of your mother’s plans. However, wouldn’t you think that I would know of these arrangements? After all, it is held in my honor. Forgive my forwardness, but were you looking for an excuse to write me a letter? Do you enjoy my presence at the castle more than I’m led to believe?

While I do believe the ball is too much for something as simple as turning 18, I appreciate the sentiment. I actually brought up the idea of a masquerade to your mother when I was there – it’s nice to hear that it’s still in consideration. Wouldn’t you agree that the air of mystery would be much more enjoyable?

Many princesses and ladies will be there as well. Why only mention the other dukes and princes? I have a possible idea, but perhaps I’ll keep it to myself. It seems more enjoyable that way. As of now, I am in good health. We are beginning to prepare for the frost, as well as ensuring that our citizens have the food and shelter to overcome it. The harvest was good to us this fall, and I only hope that spring comes quickly. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from you, and I was quite eager to write back.

I look forward to hearing back from you as well.

Princess (Y/n)

-

Dear Princess (Y/n),

If I may be bold, wouldn’t you believe it appropriate to address me by my given name? Even in written correspondence, you find the need to be formal. As I recall, you’ve addressed me by my name in person, so why not in letters? But should you find that uncomfortable, I will understand. There is no pressure.

I’m genuinely happy to hear that you’re still well. We are preparing for the frost as well. Should your kingdom ever need aid, do not hesitate to send for us. I will see to it that I personally help deliver any resources that you may need. Merger or not, our kingdoms are good allies, and should do as good allies do.

I suppose a masquerade would be more entertaining. It’d be interesting to see what everyone’s masks will look like, though I’d be less likely to speak to anyone. It wouldn’t be hard to find Bokuto in the crowd with that hair of his, but I suppose it’d be a little more tricky to find you. Not that my purpose of the ball would be to find you, but I’d at least want to bid you a happy birthday. That’s all.

As you know, I find no need to beat around the bush. I did, somehow, desire to write to you. You stayed a month longer than you usually do this past summer – I suppose I had grown accustomed to your presence, though I wonder why I never wrote you before. I hope you can forgive my forwardness as well.

I didn’t forget of the other possible attendees of the ball. As you had said before, there are some men in line for your hand. I assume that they would take this chance to impress you and your parents. After all, your kingdom is powerful and strong – most would benefit from a merger with you. Politically, our forces combined would be best. However, if I may be selfish, I believe you would make a good companion. If I see the other men making advances, perhaps I should prepare to win you over. But the choice would ultimately be in your hands, and I don’t intend to take that away in any sense.

I am eager to receive your response.

Sincerely,

Keiji

-

Prince Akaashi,

Old habits are so hard to change. I will do my best to correct myself and address you less formally. Many would frown upon this, however. We are not officially engaged yet – I believe some of the more traditional, older handmaidens would find this to be scandalous. They would assume we were off doing something sacrilegious in the hidden corridors, or something that would warrant me addressing you by your given name. I must say I am moved by your want for me to address you as you desire, even flustered. I imagine there are many other ladies who long for this same chance – perhaps I am special to you?

Along those lines, I do not think you give yourself enough credit where credit is due. I have no doubt that you will be able to find me the night of the masquerade – in fact, I believe you will have very little difficulty in doing so. However, perhaps to make this more fun for us, I might make it harder on you. Let us see if you are able to find me before the clock strikes midnight. You are incapable of fooling me – you know as well as I do that you have more than enough time to bid me a happy birthday before the ball.

I admit that I miss being on your castle grounds. It is a place that I have called a second home for many years now, and staying the extra month only made my leave harder. I am happy that you desired to write me. I now look forward to your letters more than others’ correspondences. One trait that I have always admired about you is your honesty – you don’t care to mince your words (unless it would be more appropriate to do so). I must say that I’m quite tired of polite, bureaucratic talk, especially at it should hold no place in a friendship like ours.

I hadn’t thought to give much time to any suitors who would try to sway me in their favor, but I am curious to hear of your argument now. You should be prepared to make a good stance, though I must say that you have earned yourself some extra credit from me – you haven’t failed to forget how important the value of choice is to me. Many other men will fail to remember or even acknowledge this.

If I may be selfish, I hope that the summer months arrive quickly. I look forward to my annual trip to your kingdom.

Sincerely,

Princess (Y/n)

-

Dear (y/n),

The answer is simple. Yes, you are special to me. You are one of my oldest friends, and there are very few people that hold the same honor. Though I’d like to be bold, a bravery that I can only display through paper and ink, and say that you are more special than just an old friend. We have known each other for many years, and I am very sure that you know the meaning in my words. Should you not, I would be willing to explain it in person.

Must you make it more difficult for me to find you? If so, for your entertainment, I will indulge you. However, I am not one to back down from challenges. This will only fuel me in my search, and I will spend the remaining time until then to recall on everything that defines you. Even in sleep, I will study, as you do appear in my dreams from time to time. I do believe it would only be fair to receive a reward if I find you by midnight.

I, too, also anxiously await your letters. Though I know the delivery man is doing his best, I can’t help but wish for a way for letters to travel faster. The days spent waiting for your responses seem longer and less bearable. It’s akin to the feeling when you visit the gardens every day and feel that the flowers are delayed in their bloom. On days when your letters arrive, they seem to have opened substantially. They seem fuller, brighter, and stronger, and I often have to restrain myself from retrieving one for you (since you are no longer here).

You are free to be selfish with me. I, too, wish for the summer months. In return, I hope you accept this bracelet as a Christmas gift. I found it from a jewelry stand when I was strolling through the city and thought it would fit you. You are not one to care for the number of jewels or the material it is made of – I only pray that you will accept it, and I fully intend to compensate for all the previous Christmas holidays where I did not gift you something. It is regrettable, and I can only hope that you accept my apologies now.

Sincerely yours,

Keiji

[blissfulalchemist]

"there’s no going back if we do this." + tia x conner? xx

Thank you so much Stella! I’m excited to share more of them!

She couldn’t stop shaking, hadn’t stopped for almost a week now, alternating from the anger and the guilt at what had transpired. Four years Tia had been here, four years she had dedicated to them and for what? The destruction of people like her, the torture of their own people, and a mission that no longer was as peaceful as they claimed. Unnatural, impure, not like them. Compliance, that’s all they asked of her when she protested against their new methods to “help” their fellow Alchemists. Comply, do your job and Tia could avoid the fate of the others that dared question any of their practices. 

There was a hope that it was just a few bad apples, people who took the code and mission too seriously, but it never is just a few bad apples. Never, not when the system was already so broken. A system she let herself be blind too, or they made her blind to it….she couldn’t tell anymore. The tattoos were meant as a way to identify and feel a part of the group, a small charm to help in keeping their secrets, but she’d seen what they did when they needed a “touch up”. Blank eyes, voice lifeless, the slight shake of fear whenever they were approached, always at a desk. 

Fifteen, she had counted in the week since she came back from their Re-Education center, to show off what her work had done for them. Fifteen people that passed and were allowed to come back to their mission, she never asked for their crimes, it always seemed the same, they stopped believing in the way things were. No matter how small of an infraction and you were on their list. Conner’s rollercoaster of friendship wasn’t because he couldn’t figure out his feelings for her, but fear of becoming too close. Getting close to those who were impure in their eyes meant you no longer saw them as evil and wrong. The lines would start to blur and maybe, just maybe, you’d start to see how prejudiced the whole system was. Even human decency was much too close for their liking. 

Tia had kept her head down, done all that they had asked of her since then, evident they thought she needed to finally see the consequences of the free will she’d been showing in recent months. She wasn’t even really questioning them, she just wanted to know what her efforts were for, to make sure she was on the right path of what she needed to be doing. If she needed to start thinking out of the box. No out of the box thinking, never think outside of the box they had given you.

Tia paced the small room she’d called home for the last four years, fingers tracing the invisible lines of the Orion pendant. ��Two options, you have two options Caro,” she muttered pausing to look at the poster of the Mojave hanging on the wall, “Stay and keep hold of the small absolute tiny sliver of hope that you can do something,” The boring and safe option, “Or get out,” The right thing to do. “If I stay,” she whispered looking down to her hands, the red appearing in her mind's eye, “then I would be causing more harm than I already have.” She shook her head, balling her hands into fists, There never was a second option.

As much as she’d loved to have broken out right then and there, she’d be severely out matched and left on the run with nothing to help in protecting herself. Here she at least had access to everything that she needed and still had the time to make what she would need. No one would question what she was doing, none of them even really had a basic understanding of what she would be making. She had her freedom in this….

And she’d take full advantage of it. 

 Something was wrong, Conner knew that much. In the four years he had known Tia she never followed the rules this closely, so close that it made their superiors happy. He stepped out of the elevator, fingers spinning the dark red ruby ring, silently praying as he made his way to the witchatorium. He found the door fully closed and silence behind it as Conner watched Tia move about the shelves, muttering to herself. Her hair tied back emphasized the sheen of sweat on her brow, the tank top she wore with thin straps exposed her various floral and geometric tattoos, some having taken on a faint glow, rements from when she and some friends charmed the ink for fun. Though her most prominent feature today was the bags under eyes. 

Conner took a deep breath opening the door quietly, not wanting to startle her, “Did I miss some memo, Caro?” He moved closer, taking in the books and components on the table, three books of offensive spells, two self defense, and another two that primarily contained amulets and stored magic. Conner looked up to the camera catching the small black box on its wiring, it had to have been Tia, meaning she had to have been at this for days now, “They give you a new assignment?”

“No,” she replied shortly, pulling some jars of dried berries and flowers native to Iceland. She opened up one of the jars sniffing it, giving a shrug before making her way back to the table, eyes scanning for something. Conner peered at the open book, picking up the agate she needed tossing it, “Thank you.”

“What are you doing then?” Conner pressed, deftly organizing the materials around her.

“Prepping,” she looked up at him, mouth tight and pulled down, “I can’t stay.” Conner’s eyes went wide, the jar he held falling from his hands, Tia’s hands catching it quickly. She placed it on the table once more looking back to the book.

“What do you mean you can’t stay?” 

She gave a shrug, “I just can’t stay here any longer.” 

“Why?” Tia didn’t respond, checking she had everything once more. Conner’s jaw tightened, pushing his way in front of her, “Tia, look at me,” he lifted her chin, meeting her hazel eyes, the far away look leaving them, “Why can’t you stay here anymore?”

Tia reached up, fingers tracing the golden lily on his cheek, “You know why I can’t stay. You know where they took me a few weeks ago right?” He nodded, eyebrows knitting together, “Conner I saw what they do in those places….what they do to the people there. I- I can’t be a part of something like that,” she shook her head, hand falling to her side, “I just can’t.”

He’d heard the tales, saw the ones that were deemed good enough to come back from Re-Education, and now had picked up on some of the rumors of why the Alchemists had really wanted to work with witches. There were some sure that got to help with the front, finding ways to help humans against the Strigoi, but others….others were used as experiments. Seeing if there was a way to permanently strip someone of their magic by means of science, if there was a way to improve their golden tattoos to prevent others in their rank from tapping into their own magic, or worse, a shiver running up his spine, stop anyone from having an affinity for it. Conner caught the tears brimming in her eyes as she looked away from him, She helped with those experiments, he thought, all without knowing. 

“Tia,” he said softly, “you can’t just run away.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Why can’t I?”

“They’ll hunt you down,” his eyes glanced once more to the camera, the little black modification still showing it’s red light going strong, “They won’t stop and once they get a hold of you,” Conner pushed some of her falling hair back behind her ear, “Once they get a hold of you, they’ll just send you there.”

Tia pulled away from him, “I’ll die first. I’m not going to let that happen.”

“Don’t put it past them to do that for you,” he pleaded, “Just stay and we can figure something else out. Something safer and less dangerous.”

“You’d come with me,” Tia breathed out.

“Wait, no,” he stammered, “I didn’t say that.”

Her eyes lit up, hand grabbing his, “Help me prepare so you can come with me.”

He jerked away, the table rattling, “What?”

“Come with me, Conner,” she started to pace, “You and I can leave this place together. We could help those people in the center escape, help the Moroi the way we want to.” She smiled, grabbing both of his hands, “The dynamic duo! We can help others escape this life if they want too. Or take this whole system down. Or both!”

Conner’s heart sped up, hands giving a slight shake. He had to stay here, he couldn’t leave, he had to stay here, couldn’t leave now. Probably never could leave. “Tia, you know there’s no going back if we do this right?” She nodded, smile unwavering, “We’ll be left out in the world with no resources or access to any kind of information that we could use in this plan of yours.”

“You don’t even like it here, Conner,” she countered, “You’re a terrible liar and I know for a fact that you can’t stand what they do, what they actually stand for behind closed doors.”

Conner stepped away from her shaking his head, running a hand through his hair, “That doesn’t matter right now.” It can’t matter, I have to stay, “Look if anything I should stay to help you out better. You can’t make it out there all on your own.”

She clenched her jaw, eyes narrowed to slits, and arms crossed, “I can make it just fine out there on my own. I did it before.” 

“You didn’t have people that were chasing after you, Tia!” 

“What do you think all this is for,” she asked, gesturing to the table and room, “So have them come at me. I’d like to see them try.”

“That’s not the point, Caro!” Conner let out a slow breath, eyes closing for just a moment, “One of the best ways to take down an organization is from the inside.”

“And what if they brainwash you, Conner!” He flinched, hand reaching for the angelite bracelet, she had a point, one slip up and he was done for, found out for what he really was. “What if they take you away from me? What then,” Tia’s voice cracked, a tear falling down her cheek, “Tell me Conner, what do I do if I lose you in this war because you decided to stay.”

I’d be losing you first, he answered his lips sealed shut, They’d find you quickly and I can’t have that happen. I can’t lose you I can’t have that happen because I…., “I can’t go with you, Tia,” Conner whispered, I have a debt to pay, hanging his head, “I’m sorry.”

Tia’s eyes went wide, swallowing back the begging lodged in her throat, “So that’s it then,” she turned away, quickly wiping away at the few tears managing to escape. She sniffed, nodding as she went back to work, she needed her version of a stun grenade finished by tonight, “Well, I hope it's worth it, Mr. Endicott.”

Conner looked up, heart falling, “Tia,” he breathed out, taking a small step forward, before taking it back. I want to leave with you, I promise you, I want that, but I can’t. I can’t leave this place, not while I serve the Zmey still. Please understand that Tia. Please, there’s so much I want to tell you, I just can’t. Conner sighed straightening himself out, “Your secret’s safe with me, Caro,” she didn’t look up, eyes locked on the table before her, “I wish you all the luck.” 

Tia listened for the sound of the door closing, falling into the chair, head in her hands, shoulders shaking. A good Alchemist would turn her in….Conner was no good Alchemist though….

At least I hope so….

 It was a week later when Tia finally found herself packed and ready to go, she prayed for this to be simple and yet was good for a battle if it came down to it. The duffle bag with everything she needed stowed away behind the dumpster two days ago via makeshift rope. Fastest exit and with the most buildings to duck into while she made it to some bus in the big city where she could easily change her appearance. She just had to make it to a place with a car that she could easily steal, suburbs would be ideal. One shot, she only had one shot at this. 

Her watch beeped, eight o’clock on the dot. The building would be fairly empty and the busses wouldn’t have so much traffic, Mardi Gras, so all the bars would be packed, easy to blend into the crowds. She just had to go. Tia gripped onto the small stone necklace, murmuring the spell to make her temporarily invisible, so long as she didn’t look someone in the eye or bump into them, the magic a shimmering feeling around her. She peered her head out the door looking for anyone passing through, hugging the wall Tia closed the door silently, the ding of the elevator giving her a slight startle. She ran for it, closing the short distance, holding her hand over the doors as the two people stepped out, watching as they walked out of her range, lucky. Invisible didn’t mean she could hide an elevator door opening on its own, Let’s hope it happens when it's time to get off.

Tia took some deep breaths as she watched the numbers go higher, hands patting down her pockets one last time. The doors opened to the main floor of the building, a night shift worker standing at the entrance, focused more on his phone than anything as he stepped in, Tia slipping out easily. Pressed against the wall she let out a breath, she just needed to get out the back door, to the stairway she used to get on the rooftop. So far so good, luck was on her side as she slowly made her way down the hall, keeping as close to the wall as she could. Her eyes cast down, glancing up only when she needed too, just the end of this hallway and then a right and she was home free. End of this hallway and then a right. End of this hallway and then a right. End of this hall-.

Tia hit the wall, the person in front of her dropping their small stack of papers, eyes going wide as they landed on Tia. The walkie talkie on his brown belt loop filled the space between them, “Hypatia Caro has made a break for it, stop her by any means necessary.” Her cover was blown, and she stood there, watching the man’s hands seeing if they would reach for her. He favored fumbling for the radio, Tia running past him as he stammered into it, sliding as she stopped, there were guards blocking her exit. 

Second exit, on the north side of the building, her feet hit the linoleum as she bolted to the opposite hallway. Another group of them, three, with three behind her, one coming up on her left, her right side blocked by the wall. Her heart raced, looking between all of them, outnumbered and she needed her energy to run, the training they put her through not enough to get out of this one. Three had guns, hands hovering above them, “Don’t put it past them to do that for you.”, she suppressed the urge to give an eye roll, I hate when he’s right. 

Tia quickly reached into her front pocket pulling out a small leather pouch, the words slipping easily from her lips, “Fos apó to fos, afíste to na eínai tyfló,” she threw the bag down on the ground as hard as she could, the guards holding up their hands as it activated. She pushed through them making a break for another entrance, the southwest corner. She could hear the commotion all around her as she weaved through the hallways, everyone doing their part to contain her. She found herself running head on into two of them, her body tensing to fight them off, when a hand covered her mouth. Her body pulled to the side, arms locked as her attacker pushed her back flush against the wall, the familiar smell of anise hitting her nose. 

Tia’s eyes met Conner’s, a finger held to his lips, as he pulled them farther into the shadows, two sets of footsteps coming closer to them, as she felt Conner’s heart race with hers. They passed by them, muttering to themselves about finding where Tia went and how dare she turn invisible right before their eyes like that. Conner leaned out looking up and down the hallway, releasing his hand from Tia’s mouth. She took a deep breath, arms embracing him, “You changed your mind,” she whispered excitedly.

“Come on,” he pulled her down a few doors, keycard swiping, the picture on it of one of the cleaning men from the day shift. He pulled them into the dimly lit room, “Not exactly, Caro,” he looked out the windows, “I’m still not going with you, but I figured you’d get into some kind of trouble.”

“I could have taken them on,” she grumbled, his movements shaky looking out the window again and again, “What are you looking out the windows for?”

“It won’t be long for them to figure out that the guy doesn’t work today and make their way to us,” Conner explained, pulling out a set of car keys, “Here.” He tossed them her way, Tia catching them easily, looking over them, a Toyota symbol on them, and a wire wrapped rose quartz crystal hanging from them. “You’re going to go through the window and head east, for two blocks,” he instructed, Tia stopping herself from asking anything else for the time being, “By the time you get there, the 225X should be pulling up.” Conner pulled out a rock from his pocket, tossing it, testing the weight of it, “Once on the bus, take it until you get to Hayward and 5th, that should be five major stops away. It should start to look a little familiar to you by then.” 

Tia nodded along, “That’s near the shopping center we go to right?”

He gave her a smile, “Yeah, exactly. Once there, go to our record store. There’s a black Yaris parked in front of it,” she opened her mouth, Conner cutting her off, “Yes the meter is paid for and it’ll be fine by the time you get there. Take it and go, your duffel bag from the dumpster is already in the trunk. Get in and drive, drive as far away from here as you can.”

Tia clutched the keys, moving close enough to hold onto Conner’s hand, “Come with me, please, Conner. You’ve helped me this far,” she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, Conner responding in the same manner, “Just leave with me.”

He gave a solemn shake of his head, “I can’t, Tia,” Conner sighed, “I-. I have to stay here.” Tia let out a shaky breath, holding back the need to cry, finally hitting her that it was a very real possibility they would never see each other again. 

How he hated them being this close to one another, seeing the way her eyes shined when she looked at him, Conner knew how easy it was to test the waters, leave her with something more than the charmed quartz. He’d never feel as alive with her gone, never feel the way her laughter warmed the room around them like the deserts she loved so much, the way she could always see the stars on those late nights on the roof, the feeling of calm and certainty within her magic as he watched her. He would miss her, but he was willing to give it all to Tia so that she could be free. There was never any freedom in store for someone that made a deal with a snake.

The one person she trusted without a doubt, who made this place bearable, who knew her moral compass like the back of his hand, her partner in crime, and most importantly her best friend, and he was forcing her to leave him behind. She’d miss the blush he thought she could never see when she poked fun at his clothing choices, the way his auburn hair looked in the city lights, the hum of jazz when she caught Conner doing paperwork at his desk, all of it gone the moment she stepped out of this building. The only decision she’d ever doubted, for what was freedom without the person you cared about most just as free as you are.

Tia leaned up, wrapping her arms around him, one last embrace, his arms encircling her. She pulled back lips brushing along his cheek, as he whispered in her ear, “Fight your way out of this hug,” she gave a slight shake of her head, “Yes, Tia, you have to make it look good and believable.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she responded, forehead pressed against his, attempting to push away from him, his grip tightening, “Please don’t make me.”

Conner’s breath hitched as her lips nearly brushed against his, “You have too. I’ll be okay. I’ll heal.” Tia took a deep breath and with a small nod maneuvered her way out of his hold, grabbing hold of the front of his shirt. Right arm pulled back for a punch, hesitation shaking in her arm, Conner gave a small nod, yelling as contact was made and he fell to the ground. Not needing any other instruction Tia grabbed the rock still in his hand, throwing it against the window, the glass easily shattering. She turned back to look at him, her ears picking up on the sounds of footsteps making their way to the room, “Go! Now, Tia!” 

He couldn’t hide the misting as Tia burned the memory of his face in her mind, stepping out of the window, hands giving slight stings from where they made direct contact with the glass. The minute her feet touched the pavement she was off, running to the east with the sounds of a door slamming open and yelling about where she was headed, all becoming distant with each step. She ran, repeating the directions Conner had given her, her heart chastising her for leaving him behind, she should have kissed him. 

She shouldn’t have left him behind.

She glanced over her shoulder, hoping to see him catching up to her, only to be met with seeing the weaving some Alchemists were doing as they pursued her. There just ahead, the bus was pulling up, people piling in, some in different states of intoxication. The doors were closing by the time she grabbed hold of the railing, catching her breath as she made her way to the front of the bus, dropping the change into the machine while the tired bus driver glared at her. Tia rolled her eyes, making her way to the back of the bus once more, falling into the seat closest to the back door she’d come through. 

Five stops, she repeated, wiping away at the tears starting to fall silently, Five stops and you’re home free. She glanced down to the car keys in her hand, the rose quartz shimmering, I’ll come back for you Conner. I don’t know how, but I’ll be back for you. I promise. 

[themummersfolly]

Here’s an older piece I’ve had lying around for a while. Believe it or not, I actually wrote this a couple months before the pandemic.

The Veils of Illomentum

When we first met them, we thought it was another case of Taliban-style oppression. Only the men came up and spoke with us; their women stood back, silent, hidden behind veils that swept the ground. They never approached or tried to interact with us, but whenever it was time to make a decision, big or small, the man who made it would glance back at them before he spoke. We should have guessed the significance of that gesture.

The veils were one piece – I got to look at one, when a weaver brought it out to show us – draped over the crown of the head and falling sometimes to the knees, sometimes to the feet, both front and back, with a cloth circlet sewn to the inside to keep it on. The sides were open, and there seemed to be no taboo against a woman showing her arms outside the folds. There were no slits or mesh for the eyes; the veils must have been just sheer enough to see through.

We had been called to Illomentum because of a fever outbreak. The locals were remarkably sophisticated, but a recent famine had depleted their resources and the epidemic overwhelmed them. We were surprised to be treating them in their own facilities, mostly with their own medicines. The only thing they lacked was manpower, evidently.

As in diplomacy, the men seemed to be in charge. They handled all the patient care; the few veils we saw were in central stations and dispensaries, where we assumed they performed some kind of minor role. Even the patients were mostly male, and the few women we did treat refused to be seen by male doctors. A few of the children we treated turned out to be female, but the Illo refused to discuss it; despite the way they treated adult women, they seemed determined to make childhood as gender neutral as possible.

I suppose we should have guessed at the truth. As far away from home as Illomentum was, we should have expected the Illo people to be at least as far culturally from anything we were familiar with.

The first real inkling we had came from a female aid worker who had been allowed inside the women’s quarters of a prominent house. Her hosts stayed veiled even then, although apparently it wasn’t the custom indoors. They explained that they had only recently realized that she was female, and they still weren’t sure what to make of her.

“But why do your men make you wear veils?” she asked. They seemed confused by the question, then someone laughed.

“Make us wear veils? Woman, why do your men make you show your face all the time?” The others seemed to find this equally funny or puzzling.

“No man but a husband has any business looking at a woman’s face,” added one matron, and that seemed to settle the matter for them.

As the epidemic wound down and the team’s focus shifted from medical to diplomatic, we had more opportunities to learn about the country and its customs. The Illo were an extremely private people, but our response during the crisis seemed to have won their trust. The third month we were there, our translators informed us that we had been invited to meet with the highest local official, a judge named Dindranen. The Judge, they informed us, had invited us in the first place and wanted to personally thank us for our efforts.

It was an easy day and a half journey to the town where we would meet with Judge Dindranen. About an hour away from our destination, a rider met us to say that the Judge’s welcoming party was approaching. We expected this; the Illo customarily went out to greet guests before they arrived. The rider also advised us to be careful: during the famine, many wild animals had moved closer to the town to prey on livestock, and not all of them had left.

Not ten minutes after that, the Judge’s party came in view. About twenty people had turned out to meet us: as usual, mostly men with a handful of veiled women. We craned our necks to see, trying to pick out which one was Dindranen.

As intent as we were on watching them form up across from us, we didn’t notice our own formation was getting too spread out.

The first to approach us was a man in ceremonial armor, flanked by a banner bearer. Our team lead stepped forward to greet him.

“Honorable Judge Dindranen –”

We had just enough time to register the confusion on his face. Then the horse at the end of our line panicked and threw its rider.

“Tiger attack!”

An Illo Tiger – the biggest cat I had ever seen, tawny like a lion but much larger. We scrambled to fend it off as it lunged for our teammate. Armed Illo men ran at it but shied away when it lashed out. None of us could get a clear shot without hitting our teammate. We were starting to think we would lose him when one of the veiled women jumped out of the saddle, seized a pike from a soldier, and ran at the tiger.

Time seemed to slow down. We watched her move in an arc, veil whipping around her, bracelets flashing as she leveled the spear and struck.

In fifteen seconds it was over, and the tiger lay dead at her feet. The woman handed the spear back to its owner, rearranged her veil, and folded her hands back beneath it.

“Is your man hurt?” Her voice was low and steady, soothing.

“He’s – he’s alright. Some bumps and bruises – he’ll be ok.” Most of us were still staring with our mouths open. None of the Illo acted like they’d seen anything strange, aside from the tiger. “We had no idea any women were permitted to fight.”

Our rescuer tipped her head. The veil hid her expression. “In times past it was necessary for a judge to be able to fight. Sometimes it was the only way to uphold her judgements.”

And that was how we learned who had summoned us to Illomentum.

 ----

Later, seated in her audience chamber, Judge Dindranen answered our questions about her country.

“I am unique,” she said, “in that I am trained in the use of weapons. The women of Illomentum rarely expose themselves to the dangers of combat. We are vessels of life and knowledge. The loss of a matron, before she could pass on her mantle, would be a devastating blow to her clan.”

“But the veils,” we pressed. “Why do your men make you hide behind veils?”

“You speak of veils as you might of shackles,” the Judge said. “As for our men ‘making’ us wear them – I think if it was their decision, they would look upon our faces and forms more often. But that is a privilege we do not grant lightly.

“It must be different in your country; you talk constantly of what women are ‘made’ or ‘permitted’ to do, as though they are children or cattle. But do not mistake us. The veil guards a woman’s counsel, her sacred responsibility, even her life. Why do you think so few of us fell ill with the fever? A doctor’s veil protects her from disease in all but the most extraordinary cases.

“When you first met with us, you mistook our messengers for our leaders. You did not understand our ways, and you pitied us. Now you know the truth, and your pity turns to confusion and mistrust. You cannot ‘save’ us the way you expected; do you regret that you helped us in the first place? Will you continue your friendship with us, now that you know it will not be solely on your own terms? Consider this when you return to your leaders, and ask: were your intentions for us ever truly just?”

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[alovelymoonbeam]

Green Eggs and Ham ficlet

So.....in case you haven’t noticed, I got obsessed with a new show. Its amazing. I started watching it because it looked like a fun, funny show, and I cried many times. Fun times all around, 10/10 would recommend. This fic does have a few spoilers though, so if you haven’t watched it, and want too, don’t read this yet.

Before everything, Sam hadn’t given much thought about how his actions affected other people. Rob a bank? Sure why not. Smuggle something to somewhere it's not supposed to be? Yeah, I can do that. Steal a Chickeraffe for a crazy collector? I mean, he was low on bruckles anyways. It's not that he meant to hurt others. It was just that for so long, he’d only had himself to look out for.

But now things were different. If someone asked him to rob a bank, he’d think of that one time someone mugged Guy. If someone asked him to smuggle something somewhere, he’d think of when a shipment of beans was replaced with gravel, and what a mess it had been for Michellee. And if someone asked him to steal an animal, he’d picture EB’s heartbroken face. It mattered. In a way that it didn’t before. They mattered. His family, and all the people that his actions could reach.

But old habits die hard, and sometimes they came back to bite him.

“Where did you get this?” Guy asked, holding the wallet that had been stashed in Sam’s old briefcase. 

Sam felt the shame welling up inside, along with a spark of anger. He hadn’t wanted Guy to see it, and so had hidden it, well enough that the only way that it could have been found was if Guy was going through his things. 

“Found it,” Sam said, face blank, and tone noncommittal.

“Did you find it in a Mr. Yertle’s pocket?” Guy asked, looking at the id inside the wallet.

“Does it matter?” asked Sam, snatching it away. 

“Of course it matters Sam! We only barely got you pardoned for the chickeraffe fiasco, and you’re still on probation! If you were caught stealing this then you could be thrown in jail! Again!” Guy was shouting now, and Sam’s stupid mind kept thinking of the last time he’d shouted at him. He pushed the memory down.

“I keep thinking that you’re doing better, that you’re really making an effort, but then you go and pull stunts like this!”

Sam’s guilt, and anger, and shame were fading away. Instead there was numbness. He knew what was coming. He knew it was only a matter of time. He’d tried so hard, but any minute now, Guy would tell him to get out. To leave. To never come back. And he’d be alone again.

“Okay.” said Sam, leaving before Guy had the chance. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he ended up at the secret fort Guy had built for EB on their roof. He’d worked on it for months, and Sam and EB had been practically bouncing with excitement when he finally let them see it. It was something like an observatory. A simple floor, and railings along the sides, but Guy had added all sorts of neat gadgets to the seemingly simple design, like the telescope that appeared at the press of a button. 

In retrospect, it wasn’t all that surprising. He’d used it as a refuge when he was feeling down more than once. He sat there in the dark. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there, when there was a knock at the trap door.

He didn’t answer.

Guy came in anyway. Wordlessly, he approached, and sat down next to Sam.

“Why don’t you trust me?” Sam asked.

“What do you mean?” 

“You don’t trust me. You’ve never trusted me. Not when I said green eggs and ham are delicious, not when I said to jump off the train, not when I told you that I wasn’t going to hurt Mr. Jenkins, and even now, when you know everything, and I’m trying to be good, you go through my things to make sure I’m not lying. You don’t trust me.”

Guy sighed. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Sam. I do trust you. You’re my best friend, how could I not? It's not that I don’t trust you. I just worry about you. A lot. And whenever something is bothering you, you just…..keep it inside. You never talk to anyone.

“I see it when you get into your moods. You act extra happy and silly to cover it up, except when you think no one’s looking. And you weren’t talking to anyone, and I just ...I wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess I probably should have just talked to you.”

“Probably,” Sam agreed, though he thought that if Guy had done this, he likely wouldn’t have said anything, and just bottled down the emotions further. 

“I am worried, though, Sam. I don’t want you falling back into old habits, and spending the rest of your life in jail.”

Sam sighed. “I am doing better. Thanks to you, and Michellee, and EB. And let’s be honest,” he said with a smile, “the cops wouldn’t be able to keep me in jail anyways.”

Guy chuckled at that. “You’d probably be able to break out in a day or two.”

“I mean, I was thinking that between you, Michellee, and EB, you could probably bail me out.”

“I don’t know, I think EB might go on a Friendship Crusade behind our backs, and bust you out on her own.”

“It would involve disguises, friendship bracelets, and possibly a chickeraffe,” Sam suggested.

The two laughed for a moment, thinking of the adventurous and resourceful girl.

“But in all honesty, I don’t want to go back to my old life. I mean, it was very exciting. But I never had this before,” he gestured to the picture of the four of them that sat against the railing. EB had painted it in her beautiful, eclectic style, and given it to Sam as a present, on what might’ve been his birthday.

“Sam, what’s wrong? And don’t lie. Really. What’s wrong?” Guy asked, his face full of concern and love for his friend.

“I’ve been doing so well.”

Guy waited, as though he expected Sam to say more. When Sam didn’t, Guy said, “Yes. You’re not in jail, you’re almost done with your probation, and you’re working towards getting a real job.”

“And I have real friends.”

“That too.”

“It scares me.”

“What does?”

“Having you three looking out for me. I mean, it's great. I love having people who care about me. It's a nice change of pace, way less lonely.”

“But?” Guy prompted.

“But it also means that I can’t afford to screw up. If I get involved with some not good people, or take a bad job, then you three could get hurt.”

“But you’re not going to do that,” Guy pointed out.

“But what if I did? What if I fell back into old habits, and I end up hurting one of you, and then I lose the other two because of it? I’ll be alone again.”

“And what if a giant meteor crashes into the house, and we all die? Sam, we could play the what if game all day, and never get anywhere. Your hypothetical situation isn’t going to happen.”

“But you can’t know that, Guy.”

“I do,” Guy answered, placing his hands on Sam’s shoulders. “I know that you would never do anything that might hurt me, or EB, or Michellee.”

“How?” asked Sam.

“Because you’re my best friend. And I trust you, Sam. I trust you not to make any decisions that would lead to anything like your hypothetical scenario.”

Sam hugged Guy, and Guy hugged him back.

After a moment, Sam pulled away. “I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“It's alright. I’m sorry I was looking through your things.”

Sam took the stolen wallet out of his pocket and handed it to Guy.

“I stole it because he was yelling at Michellee about a small miscount. She was just two beans off, and he was threatening to dock her pay, or fire her. I figured she would need some money if that happened, and if he could afford to hurt her over two beans, he could afford to help her out too. But if you want to, you can give it back.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

[lazywitchling]

So I'm disabled and don't always have a lot of spoons to devote to preparing for anything complicated (or the things I want to do, like grow things), and I'm not able to practice super openly. Do you have any tips or advice on keeping up with my practice. I'm not a religious witch, so any advice that doesn't involve 'make a pocket altar' would be fantastic.

Low spoons is my JAM. (ADHD on top of working long hours + long commute in a high stress job? Yeah, I feel ya.)

This is gonna be one of my standard answers, but arts and crafts. Whatever art or craft you can do or can take up? Turn that into witchcraft. There’s something magical in the whole “transfiguration” of turning one thing into another thing, and it’s a great low-spoons way to put magic into things.

It seems like one of the usual “Witchy Tips!” list items that gets passed around, like “Do you paint? Put magic in it!” which... yeah. But not everyone paints. Printing off some coloring pages and hanging them in your windows can be great protection magic. Taking up friendship bracelet making gives you a TON of possibilities (plus, hello knot magic?).

What art or craft you do totally depends on your situation, your budget, your resources, and your ability. You also mentioned you’re disabled, and I don’t know to what extent, so you know your situation far better than I do. I do, however, have a RIDICULOUSLY WIDE RANGE of crafts in my repertoire, and if you ever need help thinking of things you can do, you can message me and I’ll help you figure some arts and/or crafts out.

THE SECOND THING would be to prepare magic ahead of time when you can. When you do find yourself with a little bit more energy, you could make spells with “triggers” to cast. Examples: Written spells/doodles/sigils that activate when you destroy the paper they’re on. A kit of already-measured-and-cut strings that you can braid together to cast. A candle with crystal chips or colored wax drippings or even a sharpie-written command that you store away and then light when you want to. Think of it like magically laying out your clothes for the next day. You use the night-time spoons you have left to put an outfit together so you don’t have to think about it the next morning and can just throw on the clothes without spending any more spoons. 

[moonlit-hedge]

Some secret witch tips on a budget

I’ve just realized I’ve been doing some things in my craft that could be useful to some witches who need to keep their practice a secret, are on a budget, or are both.

If you need to organize a drawer but can’t afford/find containers, take some printer or construction paper and fold up the sides for a flimsy but effective enough desk container. You can secure the sides with tape or glue. This becomes witchy by adding color correspondences to the color paper you use, and using that for what I call a “no ingredient” spell. Focus your intentions and invite the energy into the newly created little container. No one would be the wiser unless you told them.

String, yarn, or friendship bracelets work well with “no ingredient” spells as well. They’re simple and fairly normal to see, and if anyone asks about them you can say you like the color. Bonus points if you make one with someone else (theirs doesn’t have to be witchy), so you can say it was a gift or something you did with a friend.

Crocheting, knitting, sewing, embroidery, and cross stitching are all common hobbies. While some may not consider them budget friendly, doing your research, limiting purchases, learning from someone else, and looking for deals are possible. All these can use modified forms of knot magic, or your take on it, and “no ingredient” spells as well.

If you enjoy cooking and have the resources, it’s quite easy to implement some craft. Stir clockwise and request something (I usually think something like this “with each stir, ____ shall be easier to get/overcome/achieve.”) Stirring counter clockwise is a good way to get rid of negative emotions/energies as well.

When you add sauce to a thing, like making a sandwich or something, add the sauce in the shape of a spiral going clockwise or counter clockwise. It works like the bullet point above. If asked about it, say it’s for even sauce coverage. Zigzags and parallel or perpendicular lines work as well.

I’m on mobile, so I’m sorry for this formatting! I hope you find some inspiration with these points. I do these just about every day in my craft, so if you need more details or have questions please let me know. It’s midnight and I’m tired, so my wording may not be as great as I think it is. (Thank goodness for the post later feature!)