#will axel too? he just needs to stop being creepy about possessiveness

[bonsai-babies]

Robby, Tory and now Axel, Samantha LaRusso has this siren calling attracting broken or traumatized people towards her

I wonder what this means

[thrillsxchills]

{TW} Orion is obviously one of my more demented children and his whole life is a trigger warning, so please avoid reading this if your triggers contain the following -- depression, abandonment, hallucinations, drugs, violence, substances abuse, blood, abuse/mental & physical, bullying, self harm+un-alive thoughts, dissociating. (That’s a lot & i’m sorry but Orion has a HISTORY.)

Orion is my first and oldest baby I’ve had. He’s developed A LOT over the years, but for the new members I’m going to start all the way from the beginning so enjoy this looong ride. People like Z and Ali remember big bad old orion, that was something 😅

(tw; about death)Orion was an odd kid growing up, he had an usual obsession with death and creepy things. Cemetery's, bugs, and the supernatural. It was hard to make friends with other kids because of his unusual interests and the fact that his family was high class and his father wouldn’t let Orion associate himself with ‘poor people’.

(tw: family abuse) Orion hated and still hates his father with a passion. Nothing Orion ever did impressed his father. He rarely took interest in his one and only son. He only seemed to show up to physically abuse Orion over the smallest things. Orion’s only friend as a child was his mother, she was literally his saving grace.

{tw: abandonment/dissociating) Orion’s mother Cora is sweet and angelic like. However from his father's abuse she became numb and seemed to dissociate often. But Orion still took comfort in his mother's arms. Until one day his mother couldn’t take it anymore. While she wanted to take her son with her, she couldn’t. Orion’s dad’s family was the one with all the money. Cora had nothing to her name. If she took Orion he wouldn’t have a home or all the opportunities that money offered. So she left and it took everything she had left to do it.

(tw: abuse) Once Cora left the picture Orion’s fathers abuse only became worse. Taking out his wifes disappearance out on Orion. Screaming at the top of the lungs asking where Cora was. Orion didn’t know, he was just as clueless as his father but he didn’t believe him.

(tw: substance abuse) that’s when Orion started using drinking and smoking as a coping mechanism from a young age. He’d smoke any chance he got hiding the buds in his dresser drawer and his whiskey bottles in the boxes of his old shoes. It was his only escape from his shitty reality and his father.

(tw: reason for living) that all changed when Jakob Skellington came into the picture. They met at school and formed a quick lasting bond. Orion confided all his secrets and hobbies within Jakob and the boy never judged him. Orion finally found a best friend and a reason for staying alive at that point in time. Problem was their families had a long lasting feud over something stupid. So the two were banned from seeing each other. That didn’t stop them however. The two would sneak to each others house in the middle of the night or sneak off to hang out at Hallow Falls cemetery.

(tw: abandonment/bullying) however the friendship didn’t last long as intended. Because Jack was Orion’s only friend he became possessive over their relationship. Especially when Serena & Zeke entered the picture. They were getting to close to Jakob and Orion hated it. He began to loathe the two. So Orion did the only thing he knew how to do which is what he learned from his father. He began to bully Serena and Zeke to the point that Jack had to step in and defend Zeke and Serena. This felt like a betrayal to Orion. So Orion made an ultimatum. It was him or the two friends Jack barely knew. Jack chose them and Orion has held a resentment ever since. Quickly turning to the Teague's and using them to bully Zeke and Serena through them.

(tw: violence/blood/ suicidal thoughts) now entering his high school years Orion felt abandoned. He had no one but himself. Sure he had the Teagues but he felt that friendship was only extended because they did his bidding in exchange for things. Orion began skipping school more, starting fights for the hell of it. A couple of those fights he almost couldn’t walk away from him. Leaving his body beaten and bloodied in the back ally. Tiffani & Hallie nursed him back to health. But that didn’t stop him. He continued to get black out drunk and start fights. He wanted to feel something/and nothing all at the same time. He wanted to die.

(tw: substance abuse /hallucinations) Orion really thought he was going to die, he was drinking so much that he barely hanging onto his acceptance into Walt by a thread. His father kept bribing the school with money to keep him enrolled. He was known to students as the boogie man/feared by most people except a girl named Hallie. She tried to get him to be a better person. Which it didn’t happen all at once, it was slow. But once Orion realized all the people who had been hurt by his actions. his reality soon came crashing down. He began hearing things. like actual voices talking him. telling him that he was worthless, that he couldn’t be anything more than a monster. he could barely sleep without drinking himself to sleep. he even sought out a pastor to see if his soul was worth redeeming. Here is a self para about that time [SELF PARA HERE] Here is another self para about reuniting with his mother and standing up to his father. [READ HERE] read at viewers own discretion.!

(tw: trauma) It took time but he began to heal from his trauma. Does that mean he’s a better man now? Not exactly, but he knows how to control his temper and not to completely act on his impulsive anger issues that were handed down from his father. He’s not bad, but he’s not good either. He’s reunited with his mother and already forgiven her. He didn’t hesitate that was his mom after all. Him and his father only meet up if they have too after having their showdown a couple of years ago, which is how Orion prefers it anyway. Certain things still trigger Orion but for the most part he’s charming as hell but still intimidating as fuck. He only gets his  hands dirty when he needs too.

OKAY! So that’s a lot and that’s the best I can summarize about my boys development over the last six years! Now for some light hearted head canons,yeah? I think I need therapy from writing all that.

(tw: smoking) you will never see Orion without a cigarette in his hand/mouth. from a young age smoking became a comfort. he doesn’t need it as much as he did back then but its more of a security thing now.

he has a lucky lighter he won from a bar fight. it’s a red zippo lighter in the shape of two pieces of dice. Snake eye’s to be exact.

because of his interest in bugs and reptiles he has a black snake tattoo the looks like its wrapped around his forearm. looks something like this [IMAGE HERE] 

Older Orion has a small tattoo on each of his fingers representing his children. A bat for Axel, Nova is a star, Sage for Sage (but looks more like a flower), and the moon for Draco.

Orion enjoys being isolated/alone that’s when he feels most like himself. despite his background Orion does quite  well in social situations. he adapts to new environments easily and can be quite charming if you’re on his good side.

Orion prefers the more expensive liquor since that's what he grew up with but his favorite and comfort drink is whiskey with ice.

When Orion is alone he enjoys reading/learning about new topics. He’s well educated but most people don’t experience that side of him.

he hates the holidays, for obvious reasons. doesn’t mind Halloween though.

he has a hate/love relationship with the Teague siblings. Logan annoys the hell outta of him, Beckham is stand-offish and Sadie is the only one he truly gets along with. But deep down their Orion’s only friends and he appreciates them. Will he tell them that? Not until hell freezes over.

Orion’s zodiac sign is Sagittarius

Orion doesn’t keep up with his casino daily- the assets yes, but the actual place no. However he does show up every once in awhile to cheat people out of their money. What can i say he’s a gamblin man.

.Spoken Word/Singing is Orion’s favorite music genre. he’ll go to the grave denying that but he relates to a lot of the bands like la dispute, hobo johnson, front porch step. But he enjoys most kind of music. His most recently played song is Self Care by Mac Miller. [LISTEN HERE]

Now when it comes to Sadie Teague things are different. She’s the only person that really challenges him. He admires her perseverance and her will to do things on her own. Their relationship is complicated. Friends? Friends with Benefits? But his feelings are starting to get intertwined, but how to express feelings he’s never felt before?

favorite color is red

Vitani also intrigues him/she’s not annoying like regular happy go lucky people. He enjoys her company, maybe he’ll ask if she needs a job at the casino.

[nadziejastar]

There are still many mysteries surrounding Castle Oblivion. Was the castle itself constructed by the Organization and was Naminé originally a subject of the experiments going on there? Please tell us about the details of the Organization’s experiments. Also, was that pod that Sora entered something the Organization built in relation to those experiments? Are they the same pods in Twilight Town?

The ultimate goal of the Organization was to obtain a Kingdom Hearts of the hearts of people and become complete beings, and because Nobodies were a new kind of being beyond all expectations, said to be ‘nonexistent beings’, the lack of background knowledge made it necessary for them to collect information relating to their own condition. One major feature of the Nobodies is that they form personalities and feelings through memories without hearts. This means that ‘memory’ is a very important element to them. The creation of Castle Oblivion itself is still a mystery, but, as you can guess from the cutscenes added to this title, you may consider that the Organization discovered the castle, which was there since before the Organization was created, at quite an early stage.

At the same time Roxas awoke in Twilight Town, Naminé awoke in Castle Oblivion. Afterwards, the Organization discovered Naminé. Just as each Organization member has an attribute ability, Naminé possesses the power to manipulate ‘memory’, and they thought that this ability was the key to illuminating the truths of the condition of the Nobodies. The memories of those who enter were used in the experiments on memories going on there.

Above all, Xemnas, the leader of the Organization, seemed to be searching for something important related to ‘memory’. During these experiments, in order for these memories to be broken and then regenerated, those pods were made by the Organization. The pod that Sora woke up in in Twilight Town was the same one from Castle Oblivion. DiZ had moved everything as it was in order to escape pursuit by the Organization. Also, there is an additional scene where Xigbar talks about the “true goal of Castle Oblivion” and when this particular scene appears, I think all mystery surrounding Castle Oblivion should become clear.

Sure, I think it’s extremely likely. I definitely think that there was a lot more we were supposed to learn about the mansion in Twilight Town that was pertinent to the Xehanort Saga. The organization has been aware of Castle Oblivion for a pretty long time. They’d been doing experiments there in order to understand themselves as Nobodies, so I definitely think Lea and Isa were experimented on some more. I also think there was probably an important reason Naminé woke up in Castle Oblivion and Roxas in front of the mansion in Twilight Town. 

There’s a connection between those two places. Xemnas was studying memory for some reason. If I had to guess, I’d say it was to find Ventus and also to find some way to regain the use of his Keyblade. Nomura also said the pods were created by the organization to break apart and regenerate memories. Apprentice Xehanort was probably in one of those pods when Ansem experimented on his heart to restore his memory. And those pods were in the mansion in Twilight Town. There were many of them and they had been used before. Maybe they were relocated from Radiant Garden.

The research rooms were two rooms side-by-side. Sometimes, weird cries could be heard from the next room, but apart from frowning, Zexion only silently continued working alone. The day drew close when both these rooms could be moved to another place. Soon, the research facilities inside Castle Oblivion will be complete. That place is a special place. A special place, a special castle. There probably isn’t a more special or suitable place for the purpose of studying memories and that which affects them. The researcher in the next room, Vexen’s work is similar to mine. Vexen is making a doll from memories. And I am—

“Is the job coming along?”

Before the organization went to Castle Oblivion in CoM, Vexen was studying Replicas and Zexion was studying...something else. It was never revealed what that was. Poor Zexion seemed to be accustomed to hearing weird cries, and just stopped reacting to it. Kinda creepy.

This also being true for the weapons belonging to the other members of the Organization, when someone other than the original wielder tries to hold the Keyblade, it naturally returns to the hands of the wielder, but… the Keyblade Xion gripped in her hands didn’t disappear.

And of course, it’s still unexplained how the organization members got their weapons and special abilities. It seems like they all got their weapons and abilities after they became Nobodies. The weapons are special. They are similar to Keyblades in that they are particular about their wielders.

Nobodies derived their personalities and abilities from memories of their human lives. But what exactly were those abilities? What gave rise to them?

The answer that came to mind was the presence of memory itself. They were chained by their memory, and in those bonds was power. So it was probably fair to say that Roxas and Xion were bound by the same memory.

And they are associated with the person’s memories, like Keybaldes are. But Axel didn’t even understand his own abilities. I think the members probably gained the use of their weapons and abilities during an experiment, possibly associated with those memory pods. And more experiments were performed to understand those abilities. Xehanort would need his potential Seekers of Darkness to be strong.

I don’t know how significant this is to the story, but in KHUX, there are hundreds of medals with hundreds of different attack names. They generally tried to remain true to the characters when naming their attacks. Lea’s is “Magic Saucer” which is a good fit for his fire elemental disc attack, which is Axel’s weapon and special attribute.

They didn’t base Isa’s ability off of Saïx, though. He just has the exact same ability as Lea with pretty much the exact same stats. The only difference is that Lea has a speed attribute (which fits him plot-wise) while Isa has a power attribute. Even NPCs who cannot fight got special abilities that fit them as characters. For instance, Naminé’s ability “Mirror” involved copying, and KH2 Kairi provided a strength boost. So did this mean that Isa had no unique abilities of his own? I don’t know. But if so, he got his Claymore and berserk state ability as a Nobody.

Even Lea and Isa’s combined medal has a fire attack. Don’t know exactly what that says about their abilities as kids, but Lea and Isa do have opposite personalities. Lea is outgoing and childish, Isa is shy and mature. Lea enjoyed playfully fighting Ventus, while Isa just watched. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume Isa didn’t like fighting or have much talent for it. Lea probably protected him, so maybe they share the same attack for that reason. Does this mean that Lea could use Fire magic as a kid? Maybe. Who knows, maybe Lea helped Isa learn how to use it, too. Magic is not special in KH, anyone can use it.

Vexen: It seems he desperately wants the Keyblade master for himself—What a foolish plan, indeed. Sora’s is not such an interesting existence. The entity that holds true value—is Riku, the hero of darkness.

The wording for the Zero Gear description is interesting. It’s the weapon that draws forth the wielder’s “true worth”. I suspect Vexen probably had some involvement in these experiments. Axel’s weapon is shaped like the chaos symbol. He’s someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty. Axel was an assassin, for crying out loud! 

Axel: Hmm... Look, I knew Vexen and Zexion would be obstacles. That's why they're not here anymore. When have I ever complained about the dirty work?

That’s why I hated how in KH3, they made it seem like he was this goody-two- shoes guy who just was innocently looking for information on Subject X the whole time, while Saïx was the one who was doing all the icky jobs. What a cop-out. That’s NOT how it was portrayed. Saïx rarely even fought. He was more of an advisor. Axel always offered to do all the dirty work for Saïx and complained that he always got stuck with the icky jobs. It was his damn catchphrase.

Vexen: If you remain bound by the chain of memories and refuse to believe what is truly found inside your heart…then throw it away. You are not a Keyblade master—just a slave to twisted memories. Yes… Exactly like my Riku. Your existence is worth nothing!

If Zero Gear brings out someone’s true worth, I think Isa might have been considered pretty worthless as a human. And that might be why Axel eliminated Vexen in such a merciless manner. Unlike Lea, Isa was never seen play fighting. He wouldn’t have any normal memories to base a weapon off of. If weapons are formed from memories, Axel’s weapon was based off of his frisbees. 

Axel thought of asking whether Saïx had been worried about his safety, but couldn’t be bothered putting him in a worse mood. Maybe the memories he has of anger and displeasure are really strong. 

Saïx’s weapon was apparently based off of his memories of being experimented on. His claymore is called Lunatic, and it puts him into a state of madness. He “awakened to a new purpose”, which was to become stronger. As a Nobody, Saïx might have willingly gone along with experiments to become stronger, especially if he was planning to overthrow the organization with Axel. But even in the novel, he said he didn’t like fighting and when he fought Roxas, it was his first battle in quite a long time.

Kairi looked up at him then. “Aren’t you…a bad guy?”

“I’m not,” Axel replied, completely serious. “But not really a good guy, either.”

Then there’s the weapons that bring forth the wielder’s “personality”, which is also formed by memories. While I think the Zero Gear is more representative of the person’s identity as a Nobody, I think the Mystery Gear is more representative of their identity as a human. That’s why it’s such a unique weapon. Axel’s is shaped like a (卐) swastika, symbolizing surya (sun), prosperity and good luck. And it has a Recusant’s Sigil in the middle. A recusant is a traitor. And Axel was never, ever loyal to the organization. From the very beginning he was plotting with Saïx. The Fuma clan was a deadly and ruthless ninja group that was skilled in smoke and fire techniques. 

“It’s the best thing for everyone,” said Xion.

Everyone? Everyone, who? For us? Or…for someone else?

“How do you know that?” Axel demanded. “Everyone thinks they’re right…”

“This is right,” Xion said firmly. “It’s better this way.”

Axel hated that argument. Nothing was better any which way. All it came down to was what you wanted to do and what you didn’t. He’d learned that lesson back when he had a heart.

“So it’s better for you to disappear?” he protested.

The Moon Rabbit is also known as the Selfless Hare. It seemed like Isa was the selfless one who wanted to do what was best for everyone. Lea was the one that said, “Screw what’s best for everyone. All that matters is what I want. And I want to save you.” Even as a human, I think Lea was willing to get his hands dirty for Isa’s sake. And that relationship carried on as Nobodies. Though Saïx took advantage of it. So, basically I do think Saïx especially had more experiments done to him as a Nobody, considering how strong he is.

[jflashandclash]

Traitors of Olympus IV: Fall of the Sun

Thirty-Nine: Kalypso

I Argue with an Inanimate Object

             Kally almost slapped the Cloven Terror helm in surprise, but realized exactly how dumb that would look since she was wearing it. “You can talk?” she said out loud. “Um, to me? You’re alive?”

           She glanced towards the battle and felt a horrific sense of vertigo. As her gaze went to the peripheral of her vision, it expanded, showing everything on either side of her: the way Percy screamed on his throne, the two giants battling near them. Maybe near? Her depth perception failed.

           Disoriented, Kally returned her gaze to Alabaster, where his pale face stared back, patiently letting her get adjusted. Her vision returned to normal.

           Not all of us. We reflect the monsters they want to be. Ajax thinks silence is terror; Axel, the calculated insertion of an intelligent beast; Alabaster…

           There was a wry laugh.

           Besides, I was the first. I needed to come with an instruction manual.  

         Everything hummed. Kally could feel energy surge through her body. Green sparks erupted from the broken corner of the helm.

           Alabaster reached a hand out, pressing one of his rune pouches into her palm. He weakly gestured towards her Argonaut statue in her other hand.

           We made something for you, but, with my master in his current state, you must cast the spell. We had no time to test it.

           Kally wanted to inform the talking helmet that this was epic and cool, but they picked the wrong person. She wondered, if she had known this was how things would turn out, would she have followed Axel and Pax out of her school a few months ago?

           Without hesitation, she knew the answer was yes.

           “I can’t use magic,” she said.

           All creatures possess the ability to use magic. It’s whether you have the aptitude to excel. Now, cast with me.

           The words raced through her mind. Later, she would need to demand when Alabaster had the time for prepping this spell and exactly why he hadn’t done it before. She took Alabaster’s hand and the spell pouch, and pressed it against the Argonaut statue. If she had to guess, that statue was giving her the most skeptical look possible. When her mouth moved, she couldn’t tell if it was the voice of the helm or her own.

           “Incantara: revertetur,” Kally said, the helm’s darker tone whispering in harmony with hers.

           The statue glowed green as the rune pouch melded into the metal. Kally wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen. She didn’t feel any different, though Alabaster now looked paler. Knowing her luck, she just used all of Alabaster’s magic reserves to make her weapon cuss in squirrel instead of anything useful.[1]

           His quivering hand pointed behind her. His eyebrows furrowed, but that could have been from the pain. The ambrosia didn’t seem to have much effect on his broken jaw, though she guessed he would need a bit more than a godly pain killer for that.

           She didn’t like the idea of leaving Alabaster by himself, barely conscious, and unguarded. As though he could read her mind—maybe he could with the helm on—he withdrew his pistol and set it on his lap.

           “Okay,” Kally said, her voice cracking, “Okay. I’m going to go help the others. But, uh, I need you to protect this.” She took off her messenger bag and set it beside him. “Make sure no one else reads my journal,” she said lamely, since she couldn’t get herself to say, Yea, don’t die while I’m not looking. Or while I’m looking. Just don’t die.

           Alabaster rolled his eyes. Then, looked like he might throw up from the motion.

           As gently as she could, Kally kissed his forehead.[2]

           Then, she stood up and turned to face the battle. Preparing for the nausea and disorientation this time, she glanced to the edge of her peripheral, feeling her vision expand like a panorama photo.

           There was another monster on the field she hadn’t seen before. She didn’t remember anything in Greek mythology like this; it was huge, towering over the Roman’s field lights, matching the size of Eris. At first, her stomach clenched to think they’d have to fight another god, but it slammed into the goddess of Chaos with a, “Sorry. Didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers.”

           “Pax?” Kally said stupidly.

           The creature was humanoid, but it looked nothing like her not-really-ex-boyfriend. Talons busted through the back of both the monster’s combat boots. Its fingers were twice the length of a normal human’s or demigods, with black more talons further extending the digits. His forearms and thighs seemed twice as thick as usual.  

           Poking through the Silver-Tongued Snake’s helm, which had also grown, the face under was narrowed and pointed, not squishy.

           When he struck Eris, Kally couldn’t follow the speed of his movements, like seeing a snake or bird wind up for an attack, then only seeing the aftereffects.

           Ah, a feathered serpent. How utterly appropriate, the Cloven Terror muttered.

           With each slash of Pax’s talons, Eris giggled hysterically, regardless of whether she successfully blocked or not. Ichor splattered her clothing; Kally couldn’t tell if it was from Eris or Pax. Each time Pax drew close, she’d lash haphazardly out with a jagged knife coated in some black liquid and a smattering of his glittery blood.

           Every time they stepped, the ground shook.

           If Kally were looking at them with her normal eyesight, Pax would appear to be gaining the upper hand: Eris was rapidly losing ground. With the expanded vision, Kally could see Eris backing them towards the strawberry fields, where one misstep from their knife-talon family squabble could squish a stray camper or ghoul.

           Eris wouldn’t mind some flattened comrades. Kally suspected creepy eagle-snake Pax might be a bit traumatized if he had to pick demigod skeletons out of his boots.

           Behind them, the camp was in mayhem. Clarisse La Rue, several other Ares campers, and one or two Apollo children tried to corner Python. The massive drakon snapped around, swallowing one camper in a single strike.[3]

           The Romans were fighting their way through hoards of ghosts and ghouls to form a single rank and protect their sides. There were so many undead, several ranks were isolated and couldn’t make it to the conglomeration around the barracks or strawberry field.

           Some of the Greeks rushing out to help collapsed onto the ground, unconscious. Certain ones would stagger back to their feet, then turn on their allies.

           In the distance, by the cabins, Phobetor tried to keep piping on his flute for his sleep-hypnosis, but Hazel Levesque and Lou Ellen prevented him from gathering a sleep army. Each time one of the magic-users blasted or slashed him, he lost one of his sleep walkers.

           Although Greeks and Romans had been unprepared and several were dead, Kally felt like they were doing pretty well without the main heroes helping.

           In her counting of the gods that had been present at the Pax Tree Growing Party, she realized she was missing one: Atë.

           A puff of smoke whirled into existence by Clarisse La Rue’s legs. Kally didn’t see Atë fully materialize, just her tire iron smashing into the daughter of Ares’ calf.

           Clarisse crumbled to the ground.

           Kally clenched her Argonaut statue, focusing her vision on the smoke, allowing the panorama to narrow to her normal vision. Somehow, someone needed to stop Pax’s half-sister. How was she supposed to predict Atë’s movements to hit her? The goddess of Ruin and Mischief only seemed to appear at the least convenient place possible. (Something to add to the list of uncannily similarities between Eris’ children.) Otherwise, her victims were randomized.

           Don’t take aim. Just throw instinctively. Don’t even look, the Cloven Terror helm instructed.

           Yea, throw blindly into the middle of an active battlefield. What could possibly go wrong? Kally thought, disliking the helm’s ill-timed sense of humor. Knowing my luck it’ll miss, fly several hours away and clock Jason Grace in the head so the others can’t save Hemera.

           You are a child of prophecy. You predict the rash and unpredictable ruin of others, it responded, seriously. And, on the Jason Grace comment, I’m not seeing a downside.    

           Lou Ellen must have told Hazel to help the Roman ranks. The child of Pluto had turned to race towards where the Romans were about to be overwhelmed by a troop of undead, despite a friendly rhino’s attempts to mow the enemy down. As animal choices go, Kally winced at what Frank had picked with his recent concussion.

           As Lou Ellen moved her mouth to prepare a spell, something to deflect Phobetor’s oncoming hatchet attack, smoke vortexed near her.

           Kally took a step backwards to prepare a throw with her discus.

           You’re too late to save the daughter of Hecate. Accept that you cannot save everyone, then blind throw. Being the Cloven Terror, you must embrace that the end will justify the means.

           But if there’s a chance—

           She wanted to argue, but a surreal sense of disassociation stunned her mind. Kally felt like her thoughts had detached from the battlefield, from knowing Lou Ellen as Alabaster’s quirky half-sister, from caring that a demigod could die if she didn’t help them.

           A tugging sensation pulled at her stomach as her eyes fluttered shut. While Kally stepped forward into a full rotation, building up the power of her throw, she pictured Atë’s terrifying red eyes.

           Power surged from her body’s swing, from her step forward, up her spine, through her arm as she arched it, and finally, releasing through her fingertips.

           A hissing sound left her hand.

           Kally opened her eyes, searching for Lou Ellen.

           Her discus steamed and glinted gold in the field lights, but it wasn’t going anywhere near Lou Ellen.

           It hissed straight towards the rhino smashing through enemy ghouls.

           Oh gods, I’m going to hit Frank and give him another concussion, Kally thought.

           When the helm said she needed to accept she couldn’t save anyone, she didn’t think it meant she’d be murdering a Canadian.

           In a split second, she glanced over to Lou Ellen, across the battlefield. The child of Hecate lay on the ground, unmoving.

           Rage filled Kally. “Why did you make me do that?!” she shouted, wondering who was wearing whom.[4] She went to tear the helm from her head in a panic.

           A black wisp of smoke puffed out ahead of the rhino.

           As Atë went to strike Frank’s skull with her tire iron, Kally’s discus smashed into Atë’s arm. The tire iron flipped harmlessly into a ghoul’s head.

           Atë vanished again.

           The rhino stopped short, looking very confused, or Kally imaged that’s how a confused rhino would look.

           The discus—instead of slamming into the ground—did something very odd. The hissing golden metal sizzled green. It slingshot back towards them.

           Kally froze as the helm laughed darkly. If I wanted you to kill the praetor, I would have made you do far worse. Hecate’s Helms are more powerful when we work in harmony with our masters. Why do you think the Leonis Caput has weakened so? Now, I suggest you either duck or catch.

           The discus was closing in, fast. All the times Kally had hit people with it, she never thought about how much it would hurt to be on the other end. Maybe Alabaster’s spell was the most extreme of rejection letters, Uh, sorry, it isn’t going to work out. I’m too awkward to say that, so I decided it would be easier to kill you with your own weapon. It’s me though, not you.

           Kally sidestepped and extended her hand. As the discus passed her, she grabbed it, spinning with the momentum to decelerate the metal without ripping off her arm. In a weird, reverse spin, she stumbled to a stop.

           Kally’s breath felt ragged. She tentatively touched the helm. Yea, it had been right about Atë, but she did not like that moment of forced battle apathy.

           We’re not done here. Now, fight in the same manner you threw.

           “I say when we’re done. I’m wearing you, not the other way around!” Kally said, though her mind was focused on, In the same manner I—?

           Confusion gave way to a horrific sense of dread.

           Reflexively, Kally lifted her discus to be level with her throat.

           As she did, nails made a screeching sound against it. Something struck her discus, hard.

           At least it was that instead of her neck.

           Kally stumbled backwards, alarmed to see black smoke swirling on either side of her and unprepared to fight a goddess.

  Sorry I’m running so late! My brother and my new sister had their Nikah yesterday, so we were celebrating that alongside Easter and it has been a crazy busy month. Hope everyone had/is having a great Easter/Passover/return of Persephone!

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed :D I feel like Kally needs to find a partner with better communication skills….

[1] Magnus might say this is very useful.

[2] Mel’s betanote, “AWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW GENTLY DOMESTIC!” Jack, “Alabaster would resent that comment.”

[3] Mel’s betacomment was just a picture of Meg from Disney’s Hercules from the moment he was eaten by the hydra <3

[4] Bought to you by the accidental alliteration association.

[orangedodge]

Instead of flooding my blog with a deluge KH posts, I figured I'd do just one in-depth one about the end reveal.  

At least until the next trailer comes out, and my inner nine year old breaks out once again.

So despite Nomura's limitations as a writer, and his occasional technical naivete, I've always been a bit surprised that he's never really given his due as a director. He has good storytelling instincts, and can be skilled at framing information on screen to highlight what he wants, while making his audience ignore what he doesn't want them to pay attention to. His team can also cut a trailer very well. The 2.8 trailers were masterful at presenting actual spoilers, but framed within an artificial context that hid their meaning, and led to the audience anticipating story beats that did not actually exist. The respective natures of Aced and Gula as people, in particular, was something he was highly successful at concealing.

E3 trailer spoilers below the cut

The first E3 trailer drop, which I think we're calling the "Frozen" trailer, reminds me a lot of what he did last time, with those 2.8 trailers. The reveal at the end, and it's implication that Aqua is now evil, is driven by two lines,

SORA - "I wont let her fall to darkness"

and

AQUA - "You're too late"

The combination is framed to suggest that it's specifically too late for Aqua, but as these lines occur in two entirely different scenes, and this structure is unlikely to be preserved in the actual game, the thematic bridge they create is an artificial one. It's unknown what the full context of each scene actually is, particularly the latter scene with Mickey, Aqua, and Riku. Instead, Aqua's lines are being set up with by potentially false context by Sora.

What actually happens in that scene? I think the position of landmarks, and the continuity in way the scene is lit, is sufficient to establish that it most likely takes place within the same span of time as the previous trailer's Riku and Mickey scene, in which Riku's Way to Dawn Keyblade was broken.

By combining the two Riku scenes, I would posit that the chain of events is as follows: Riku and Mickey arrive at the Dark Margin > Aqua attacks them in her new shadow form > Mickey is disarmed, and Riku's Keyblade broken > Aqua stops fighting and reveals herself > Aqua picks up Mickey's Keyblade.

If the line "This Keyblade..." is native to that scene, and not something that was simply placed out of context in the trailer to create false context (a trick Nomura used with Phantom Aqua's dialogue in the 2.8 trailers), then it could be possible that she didn't recognize her opponents until she saw that Keyblade. Either way, I believe it's likely that she fought them until they were both disarmed, whereupon she stopped, and revealed herself to them.

Two things grabbed my attention,

Is breaking Way to Dawn, the Keyblade with one of Xehanort's creepy time-travel spy eyes (that we've been warned about), actually an inherently aggressive act? She appears to have been completely shrouded/cloaked in darkness, if not actually invisible (if that was a Red Eyes effect Mickey was under), when she arrived. Assuming that the two Riku clips are in fact one continuous scene, than it seems as though she didn't let them see her until that Keyblade was out of the way.

Why pick up Mickey's Keyblade? It was established ages ago that a Keyblade can't be stolen from its wielder, so unless that's being retconned, I don't see why she'd benefit from picking it up unless to demonstrate to them that she's still capable of doing so. And that's being done in a state where she's not just possessed by darkness, but seems to have been totally transformed into it. The only precedents I can think of for that are Anti-Sora and Ansem. Anti-Sora didn't have access to Keyblades, and Ansem could only wield one through Riku's body (and presumably Riku’s heart, since he lost his access to the Keyblade once he cast that away).

So is Aqua currently fallen to darkness? Almost definitely, unless this is just Phantom Aqua messing with Mickey, or a physical manifestation of an impression she left behind when she lived there, or the result of some unique circumstance like Aqua-removed-her-Heart-from-her-body or Aqua's-looking-for-Ven-in-the-realm-of-sleep that that would render her condition a temporary side effect.

Is she 'norted? It seems probable, but I'm not one-hundred per cent sure that it actually follows from what's been shown. Xehanort's never shown the ability to discorporate into dark fog or become invisible, I mean, and it seems like that would be a fairly useful ability to make use of if he had it. It seems not unreasonable to assume that it's therefore an ability newly unique to Aqua, and not something connected to a 'norting. I'm going to leave the changers to her hair aside because it's appeared that shade before (for example, in the daylight Wayfinder sequence at the start of the 0.2 trailer), and I'm not sure how much of the color change is being influenced by the lighting conditions, or even if the lighting is finished. The eyes seem like a big give away that she's 13th 'nort, as we've only ever seen glowing amber eyes in humans with Xehanort's vessels... but we don't actually know why he has those traits in the first place.

It could be nothing of consequence, just a unique aspect of his character design that made an easy shorthand for showing who he was possessing. Or it could be that amber eyes are actually meant to represent something in this setting (connection to Heartless?), and what specifically that is just hasn't come up yet, except as through the brothers and sisters 'nort. So it's possible that her eyes don't really mean what we assume they do, and it's just a fun way to use the trailer to mess with us.

(And because this series is so weird, it may also be worth remembering that incomplete beings have been shown to take physical forms influenced by the expectations of the people viewing them. Think Xion's magic flippy-floppy hood, or Aqua perceiving Ansem as Terra. So depending on what the meaning of Aqua's shadow form actually is, the way she appears to Mickey might not be what she actually looks like, as opposed to just the material consequence of how he expects her to look, reflected back upon his own reality. I... ugh. This series is something else.)

(There's also a possible exception to the only-'norts-have-glowing-eyes rule with Terra, who did have glowing amber eyes before he was 'norted, but portions of those cut scenes may now be apocryphal)

But even if Aqua is 'norted, does it automatically follow that she's now an evil puppet of the arch villain’s? I'm going to just throw this out there, and give a hard no. Could be! She could be evil now, she could even be a boss fight and a resulting fetch quest to fix her Wayfinder to bring her back to normal, or be a recurring super boss introduced to give the heroes someone more threatening to fight than Vexen and Marluxia, or anything else. But it's not absolutely necessary and it's a truly strange assumption to make, given past experiences with 'norts and people consumed by darkness.

Riku was 'norted for... really the entirety of the first three games in one way or another, and after a few initial close calls, he got his second wind, and was fine. Vanitas and Braig both seem to do whatever they want; it just so happens that they want to be evil, but I don't think Xehanort has ever shown any supernatural capacity—resorting instead to threats and possible torture—to modify their behavior if they wander off to undermine him. Terra is... well his body has been possessed for decades now, but also obviously is not being controlled in any meaningful way, unless Xehanort actually planned to choke himself and get whipped in the face by chains. Axel also didn't seem to have any problems with just throwing Xehanort out, when he was a heartless shell that theoretically had compromised means of resisting a takeover.  

So Xehanort is clearly not always in complete control of his vessels, other than Young Xeno (himself), Ansem (his own literal heart), and maybe Xemnas (some proportion of his own heart in Terra’s empty body), who could all be unique exceptions. And even the vessels that have been with him the longest have habit of doing as they please. I should find it strange should Aqua be the absolute only exception in the series. And thinking on it, all that's really said of the final confrontation is that you have 13 seekers and 7 guardians... but there's not really a rule that they have to form two opposed teams and stick to them no matter what.

To just fly off into blind speculation though, what I'm personally leaning towards is the possibility that Aqua has just become a part of the realm of darkness. That Mickey is “too late” to reach her before a point of no return, and now she just cannot leave. She doesn't sound particularly angry, or upset to see him. It sounds like she's just stating a fact, or just speaking with resignation. Mickey and Riku, in the clip where Way to Dawn is shown broken, also do not seem as defeated as one might expect them to if they had experienced complete and total failure. They seem pretty sure of themselves, whatever has happened.

I'm hesitant to add this in, given my own bias, but it actually seems not unlike they're saying goodbye. Perhaps just letting go of something, if they've failed and are moving on, or if Riku is just saying goodbye to the chapter of his life represented within Way to Dawn. Or they could be getting ready to split up.  

I've seen a lot of speculation, that I think rings true, that Disney would prefer for Mickey to not be involved in the final fight, whacking recognizable humans in the face with a sword-like weapon. The rumor's line of reasoning follows that he needs to be swapped out for someone else, and Aqua seems like the most fitting possibility. Maybe literally? One stays, so another can go? Thematically, she took on Terra's punishment for him, trapping her there in the first place. Mickey taking it on for her, so she can leave, would be a fitting continuation. And it seems to be what he wants. Edgy, traumatized, Mickey Mouse is a weird concept to introduce to a story, but it almost pulls it off where his trauma re: Aqua is concerned. This is clearly meant to be the great unhealed wound in his life, and to not just free his friend, but take her place in the underworld for a while is one way to help him patch it.

[turnabouttoothbrush]

Reckoning, Chapter Three

Today’s sporkers: Kiri and Chill.

(We open in our sporking theater, and--)

Kiri: -just saying, forget about all that stuff Hawksky and Silverpelt where whining about the other day. What we really need to do is clean our room.

Chill: I know! We’ve had clean laundry just lying on the floor all week, waiting to be put away!

Kiri: And yet instead of doing that, we’re sporking.

Chill: So let’s just sort it and put it away as soon as this is posted!

Kiri: ...Chill, MSTs get posted the day after they’re written.

Chill: Yes, exactly.

Kiri: *sigh*

Last chapter:

"I'm sorry, Axel," I said, finally adverting my gaze, "but I can't be with you," because I can't choose who I'm with; all I ever have been and ever will be is somebody's fuck toy. "It'd be better if you forgot about me."

I knew I was on the verge of tears as I pushed him away from me and went back to the man I hated.

Kiri: This is annoying, too. We do happen to have greater memory retention than a goldfish, author...

"Where's Xaldin?" Vexen asked as soon as I'd returned.

"Still at the bathroom," I said quietly, sitting next to him.

"Don't lie to me Roxas," he whispered fiercely in my ear, gripping my wrist possessively.

"I'm not," I insisted, "he was waiting for me outside the door, when I came out, he was knocked out."

Chill: Lying on a technicality is my favorite kind of lying.

Kiri: The fic really expects me to buy that Roxas is afraid of Vexen when he pulls this kind of shit?

"Roxas," Vexen said warningly, gripping my wrist harder, making me wince.

"Yo, Vexen," came Axel's voice, making everyone at the table, including me look at the red-head. Axel had Xaldin over his shoulder

Chill: *tries to imagine that* Um...

Kiri: Needless to say the logistics involved are baffling.

Chill: I just want our readers to know that we were warned about this.

Kiri: That conversation also provided the perfect way to sum up our reaction to this fic...

and dropped him roughly on the floor next to our table. "Next time you want to keep something away from me, protect it better." I felt myself shaking. Vexen knew, Vexen knew, that's all I could think. "Seeya around Roxas," Axel said smiling at me before turning to leave.

And Axel'd just made it ten times worse.

Kiri: Okay cool but why didn’t you tell Axel that Vexen was gonna kill you if he did this sort of thing

Chill: Because no one in this fic has a brain? Duh.

Vexen didn't bring up Axel for the rest of the meal, allowing me to eat in silence while he talked business with the other men at the table. He even seemed to forget about Axel, whom I noticed was staring at me every once in a while,

Kiri: Creep.

but I'd quickly look away from him. Vexen was even in a surprisingly good mood as he walked me to the car. As soon as we were on our way home though, all hell broke loose.

"What the hell was that about at the restaurant? Didn't I tell you not to look at Axel?" Vexen asked as I looked away. "Did you talk to him?" Vexen demanded. I could tell that he was furious and had probably been holding it in for a while, but I stayed silent. "Answer me Roxas," he said, raising his voice. I remained mute and got slapped just as hard as before as a result. I really didn't know what to say; yes, I'd talked to him, but what would Vexen do to me if I told him that?

Chill: You really don’t think he wouldn’t- wait, hang on.

"Fine, I'm assuming you did," Vexen said, sneering.

Chill: There we go.

Kiri: We’ve read this fic before.

Chill: Yeah but most of it is pretty forgettable. Anyway, if Roxas hadn’t looked at and/or spoken to Axel, what reason would he have to stay silent? Why the hell didn’t he lie?

Kiri: To quote you three minutes ago: “No one in this fic has a brain. Duh.”

"What will you do?" I asked almost inaudibly, it was so quiet. I was terrified and it was probably too late to say that I hadn't now. Besides, he'd seen me look at Axel.

Vexen smirked at me evilly before turning to look at Xaldin who'd finally recovered. He lowered his voice as he talked to the raven-hair, so I had to strain to hear what they were saying. "Xaldin, want a chance to redeem yourself?" is all I heard.

Kiri:

Chill: No. Don’t bring that back.

Kiri: We’ll see what the author has to say about it.

I had a bad feeling that I wasn't going to like what Vexen was going to do to me.

Chill: That stupid Liquid joke is still going, too. We literally had an unironic conversation with one of our fans the other day about Liquid Snake having a cuckoldry kink.

Kiri: To be fair, in the context of the fic they were commenting on, it made sense.

Chill: Please stop writing things that require us to use “NTR” as a tag...

When got out of the car, Xaldin made his way around to my door and grabbed me from the back seat, dragging me inside. I'm sure Vexen would've liked to, but he seemed to have something planned and needed Xaldin to do this.

Xaldin started to force me toward that room from before, the one I'd been raped in.

Kiri: Anyway, I’ll be honest, I really don’t remember what happened in this part. For all I know the forced cucking actually did happen.

Chill:

Vexen was close behind and I had a good idea as to what he was going to do so I started to kick and scream bloody murder. I did not want that man to touch me again; to come inside of me. No matter how much I struggled though, it was futile. Xaldin was double my size after all.

Chill: And was still somehow shouldered by Axel...

I saw Xaldin hand Vexen something, after my top was removed and I was cuffed to the head board before being left alone with Vexen.

Kiri: Oh, boo.

Chill: Did Xaldin even, like... do anything?

Vexen tsked at me as he approached, making me tense. "When are you going to learn Roxas? Being defiant won't bring you anything but grief," he said, switching the object Xaldin had given him from his left hand to his right. I knew my eyes widened when I saw that it was a knife.

Chill: Oh, so he handed him a knife. I stand corrected.

Kiri: How is that “redeeming himself”?

I tried to struggle as he approached the bed but he ended up straddling me, sitting on my legs so I couldn't move. "Roxas this is your only chance," he warned as I felt cold metal press against my skin. "Tell me what Axel said. I'd hate to scar you," he said, smirking, "badly anyway."

I cried out when I felt a sharp pain cut across my upper left arm and nearly lost my dinner when Vexen bent toward me and slowly licked the wound, acting like my blood was the best thing he'd ever tasted. I looked at Vexen, as he sat up again, wondering where he'd cut me next if I refused to speak. When he moved the knife to my face and was just about to break the skin, I panicked and spoke.

Chill: Pbbbbft. Weak.

"He asked me out," I whispered, frightened, trying not to shake. Vexen stopped, staring at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. It was hard to tell what he was thinking.

"I knew you'd be mad," I said trembling because I still felt the knife against my skin. Vexen knew how to cut so it would hurt badly. He'd probably scar my face or something just to make sure I'd learn not to talk to Axel or anyone else ever again.

"What did you say?" he asked, raising the knife slightly. He acted like he was ready to cut me but seemed to be considering my responses as well...

Kiri: Author, can you please just make him do something villainous besides being rude and rape-as-drama and get it over with?

Chill: Oh, no, we can’t have Roxas having any kind of disfigurements! He’s the pretty, waifish uke, remember~?

I looked away. "I rejected him," I said. I stared at Vexen when he unexpectedly threw the knife to the side, smirking again and looking creepy as ever.

"Good boy," he said, fisting my hair,

Chill: Hope he remembered to lube up first. *rimshot*

Kiri: Ch-Chill!!

making me cry out again, and kissing me possessively. I tried to move my head to the side, tried to get away but couldn't move at all. All I could do was move my arms, which was now painful because Vexen'd cut me and the cuffs chafed against my wrists, and kick my legs, which was useless, so he continued to invade my mouth.

"S-stop," I pleaded when he broke away, kissing my neck lightly. I was going to cry again soon, I could feel it.

"Why would I do that, Roxas?" Vexen asked,

Kiri: Because Stockholm syndrome sets in easier when you show mercy once in a while.

Chill: Are you, like, speaking from experience here or something?

Kiri: How do you think Hawksky came to be my ‘mother’?

moving away only for a second when he got off of my legs and immediately removed my belt and unbuttoned my jeans. I started to kick my legs frantically in an attempt to make him stop. He took off the rest of my clothes anyway.

"Please, stop," I begged, again and again, feeling the tears start to stream again as he touched my body, as his lips pressed against my naval while he held me down.

Vexen looked up at me smiling as if he were deaf to my pleading. "You look so beautiful when you cry, Roxas," he said, "I love it," before turning his attention to my now exposed lower half. I looked away, I knew I was going to be sick if I didn't, and started to cry harder and take shaky breaths as well when he touched me there.

Chill: Yes, but could he replicate it on a doll to show the court?

I felt his fingers slip inside me. That's when I started to scream again. I knew what was coming next.

Vexen undid his pants, letting them fall to his knees as he raised my legs, so he could fuck me. I continued to beg for him to stop, but like last time, he just ignored me and forced his way into my body

Kiri: I guess there’s no point in complaining about lube during a rape scene...

Chill: Hey, it’d hurt for him, too.

Kiri: At least we got preparation.

as I screamed louder and tugged against the handcuffs as he slammed into me.

By the time he was done, my wrists as well as my arm, were bleeding.

Chill: Speaking as someone who isn’t already emotionally attached to Roxas: Wow, too bad the author hasn’t gone to any effort to make us like Roxas. I’d almost feel bad for him.

Kiri: That’s a problem with a lot of fanfiction, Chill... since the audience is already invested in the characters, there’s no reason to foster any kind of connection. (See also: MGS4, most cash-in sequels, and to a certain extent Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.)

Chill: Oh, that’s just an excuse and you know it. A good fanfic can stand pretty much on its own to people who aren’t terribly familiar with the series, or who don’t particularly have the main character(s) as their favorites.

Kiri: Kind of think you’re biased in saying that, Chill... at this point, our ‘specialty’ when it comes to fic seems to be taking obscure characters with no canon personalities and making our readers fall in love with them...

Chill: We are going to have so many people mad at us by the end of Feet Upon the Ground.

I barely saw Vexen anymore by the time he stopped hours later.

Chill: Sex makes him invisible?

Kiri: I think Roxas is just crying.

He pulled up his pants, and partially covered me with a blanket before he left. I was still chained to the bed when Vexen picked up the knife and left. He left me like that for the rest of the day and the day after that,

Kiri: I hate to be the one to bring it up, but what about... bathroom... needs...

Chill: Vexen is into that. Nothing gets him randier than urine-steeped 🅱️oipu$$y and crap-smeared sheets.

Kiri: And that’s why I hated to bring it up... (🅱️oipu$$y? How did she even pronounce that?)

often coming back to rape me again. I'll never forget how happy he'd look after he left after he finished raping me each time. It was sickening.

"Roxas?" Vexen asked on one such occasion, kissing my collarbone gently then biting me there; I'm sure I had plenty of bite marks on me by now. I shivered slightly and bit back a moan when he bit my neck. I really hated myself for not being able to stop from enjoying it at least a little bit when he touched me. It made me feel sick. Or maybe that was just the hunger.

Kiri: How the hell is that possibly mixed up with hunger?

I hadn't eaten for nearly two days at least..

I waited for him to speak again, unsure if I'd be able to use my voice even if I tried anymore. I was afraid I'd rendered it useless from screaming so much and really wished I was on something, at least when I was on drugs, being raped wasn't so bad.

"I had your dad bring some more of your clothes here," Vexen continued, like I'd assumed he would. It's not like he cared about what I'd have to say anyway if I did speak… Not like Axel had.

Chill: You literally had one conversation with him.

Kiri: But it was a two-sided conversation! Apparently that’s significant.

How many days had it been since I'd met the red-head? I wasn't even sure anymore. Two? Three? More? "Do you want to shower so we can go out again?" he whispered in my ear, "I'm sure you're hungry."

Chill: Just bring him some take-out and make him eat in bed. Hand feed him, even.

Kiri: Chill, we want the author to advance the plot. It gets the fic done faster.

Chill: There’s a plot? I thought it was just Roxas suffering.

I nodded, still not looking at him, thinking about Axel more. Would I ever see him again?

Chill: This is an AkuRoku fic. I’d be more surprised if you didn’t see him again.

Vexen left me alone as I showered, surprisingly.

Chill: Quick, try to escape!

Kiri: You know, I really don’t buy that Roxas would never attempt to escape from Vexen when the first chapter plainly established he had attempted escape from Lexaeus. He isn’t supposed to be so worn down and resigned to his fate that fleeing doesn’t occur to him. He’s supposed to be, I don’t know... spunky?

Chill: Competent?

I winced when the water ran along my wrists and arm, though it felt really good to finally be rid of those handcuffs and to be under warm water, I didn't even bother washing myself off properly. I just sat under the hot water for about an hour, knees pressed to my chest, crying uncontrollably; something I hadn't done since I'd arrived at this hell-hole.

I took my time getting ready, not sure why I was bothering. If I looked nice, Vexen'd probably just rape me again sooner. Either way though I was going to get raped, so it's not like it mattered.

Ironically enough, Vexen had picked out one of my favorite outfits; grey pants, a black undershirt that zipped up, and a white collared shirt to go over that with some red and a checkered pattern on it. Dad had even brought a checkered and a black wrist band and my white and black rings. I was thankful for having the wristbands and used both to hide how cut up my wrists were.

After putting on my shoes, I went out to where Vexen was waiting for me. I really didn't want to enrage him again.

Kiri: Was there a point to this scene? Besides “Roxas cries and oh btw here’s what his outfit looks like.” Why do badfic authors describe clothes like they’re reporting someone missing?

We ended up going somewhere simpler this time; McDonalds.

Chill: *starts laughing until she wheezes*

Kiri: *gapes* This chapter started in a high-class restaurant and will end in a McDonald’s?

Chill: Just what was that high-class restaurant, huh?! Olive Garden!?

Kiri: Chili’s? Applebee’s?

Chill: Waffle House!?

On the way there, Vexen kept complimenting me, but this time didn't try to touch me, other than when he put a hand on my knee. I guess he was going to wait until later this time. I could tell by the look on his face that he was already thinking about it... Pervert.

Vexen grasped my wrist when we got out of the car, making me wince. He didn't seem to notice and kept walking, leading me inside.

This time, I was allowed to order my own food, doing so when we reached the counter,

Kiri: *as Roxas* Yeah, can I get a uhhhhhh number two with a side of please for the love of God call the cops?

and to pick out a table when we all had our food. We being Vexen, Xaldin, some guy with blue hair named Saix

Kiri: Because fuck diaereses.

and me. Saix had driven this time.

I ended up choosing a table by a window, glancing out often as I ate. I'd never gotten to see the outside world much.. When I was nearly finished though, I noticed that my wrist was bleeding. Fortunately it was the one with the black wrist band, so if it stained, it wouldn't be noticable. Xaldin noticed it at about the same time I did and insisted on taking me to the restroom to take care of it. I was a little confused when he smiled at me right before I went inside and he leaned against a wall. This seemed familiar, I thought, minus the smile from Xaldin, walking into the bathroom. All that was really missing was…

Chill: Well, this is clumsy.

Kiri: It’s 2008.

"Axel," I whispered, freezing as the door closed behind me, and I stared straight into Axel's striking green eyes.

Kiri: Reminder: Roxas is a teenager, Axel is an adult, Axel thus far doesn’t know that Roxas is a sex slave - just that Roxas made him agree to not interact with him again if he rejected him, which he did.

Chill: Poor Axel. Just feels the irresistible pull of the fic’s stated pairings.

Kiri: Seriously, this is not acceptable behavior.

Chill: Yeah, but does the author care?

Kiri: No. Do they care about anything that goes into making a good piece of writing?

Chill: Certainly not.

Kiri: There we go then. But seriously though, McDonald’s...? Not the most romantic location in the world...

Chill: A McDonald’s bathroom, natch. But not much better than a Waffle House bathroom.

Kiri: Maybe they can both stumble on a used heroin needle and accidentally contract HIV together.

Chill: Now that’s romance.

To be continued!

[nadziejastar]

The great cylindrical hall they called the Round Room was built from the same cold white material as everything else. In the center was a huge round dais, like a stage, with thirteen tall chairs of various heights arranged in a circle around it. 

The other twelve chairs were occupied by others in black cloaks, though Roxas was unsure if he could name them all. He looked down at the strange, cross-like emblem on the dais and remembered seeing it on the headboard of his bed. He knew what it stood for. It was the symbol of the Organization and of the Nobodies. But he didn’t know who had told him that.

I know! They are SO cult-like it’s not even funny. They are literally a death cult that forces the members to add the symbol of death into their new names.

Portals from the corridors rippled and opened atop the chairs of the Round Room, like candles lighting in negative, and a few members of the Organization appeared in their black cloaks. Numbers 1 through 7 took their seats—Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, and Saïx.

“Why are we allowing a novice to attend?” Vexen complained. The aforementioned “novice”—Saïx, the lowest ranked of those present—didn’t even glance up from the dais.

When the members arrive in the chairs, it’s described like candles being lit. Notice that Saïx never looks up from the dais during the meeting. During this meeting, the apprentices talk about “fragments”.

The trio quickly assumed their fighting stances, as Saïx went on with a low monologue. “Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts. And yet they know not the true power of what they hold. The rage of the Keyblade releases those hearts. They gather in darkness, masterless and free…until they weave together to form Kingdom Hearts. And when that time comes at last, we can truly exist.”

He almost sounded as though he were reciting an incantation.

I'm pretty sure that Saïx WAS reciting an incantation. It’s even implied that he can hear voices that no one else can.

In his own room, Demyx was fixing his hair in front of the mirror. It didn’t mean he was especially interested in his own hairstyle. But, memories from when he was a human made him do it, thought Demyx. His sitar stood against the wall. It was a special sitar that could be a weapon, shaped from his human memories. Finishing setting his hair, Demyx picked up the sitar and strummed it.

I play and play, but I can’t make a satisfying sound. In truth, I know I won’t be satisfied in all eternity. If you don’t have a heart, there’s no such thing as satisfaction. You don’t even think you want to be satisfied.

“Keep it down.”

Suddenly, along with displeased words, Demyx sensed a presence behind him, and he turned. Xaldin was standing there.

“Is it too hard to at least knock before barging into people’s rooms?” Demyx stated, displeased, and strummed the sitar again.

“What will you do with those human memories you cling to?”

In the short stories novel, the Organization is planning to send their members to Castle Oblivion soon. And Xaldin talks to Demyx in his room, asking about his human memories. This scene is interesting because it’s similar to another scene in the KH2 novel, which I will mention later.

“Hah? What are you saying, old man?” Demyx’s hand stopped, and he turned just his face towards Xaldin. “What about you?”

“Nothing at all. But I’m interested in how you guys let your human memories influence you.”

“Hmm,” Demyx responded, disinterestedly, and plucked the sitar three times.

“Won’t you keep it in moderation? It’s loud, I can’t sleep.”

“Not being able to sleep cause of the noise is kinda, well, human-like, isn’t it?” Demyx said, smiling. His hand kept moving over the strings.

“Fool. Nobodies need rest too. A terrible force is moving this world. We gotta rest to store up power.”

Xaldin also tells Demyx that a terrible force is moving the world.

“Well, it’s a break, in a sense… Xemnas also went out, you see.”

“Hmm… it’s rare for him to go out,” Luxord said, quietly, tidying the cards.

“No, he goes here and there fairly often. Because now is a very important time for the organisation.”

“What’s very important?” Axel asked, peering into Xigbar’s face.

“The world is moving. We’ve gotta be worried about own fragment’s movement, right?”

“Fragment?” Luxord leaned his head to one side.

“The rest is a secret,” said Xigbar, teasingly, getting off the table and starting to walk. “Be really careful not to let them use you.” At Xigbar’s words, Axel and Luxord looked at each other.

Xigbar mentions it, too. Axel and Luxord were playing cards and then he started talking about fragments and not letting “them” use you.

“Don’t leave this world without a mission.”

“This place is suffocating,” Axel said, as he started walking.

“…Can’t you hear the world’s screams?”

“Screams?”

Axel finally turned around, and looked up at Saïx standing on a stairway.

“The time when we should move will come soon.”

“I dunno, whatever.” Axel turned his back on Saïx, and opened a dark portal in front of him.

But Saïx is the one who asks Axel if he can hear the world’s screams. What the heck does that even mean? And he said "we" should move soon. I don't think he was referring to the Organization. Axel was really creeped out and had to leave afterwards, even though he was just told not to. Stuff like this is why Axel could never leave the Organization. He knew that his friend was one seriously messed up dude who needed help.

In a room made of white marble, a large mirror reflected Demyx as he prepared to leave for the mission. He took particular care with his hairstyle, painstakingly manipulating the brown strands with a comb to make them stand straight up. Saïx observed him from behind with what appeared to be distaste. In stark contrast to Demyx, Saïx left his long blue hair unstyled. The X-shaped scar on his forehead was all the style he needed.

“What d’you want? I’m kinda busy.” Irritated, Demyx turned around.

Instead of responding, the other man simply disappeared.

“Excuse me?!” Demyx shouted at the space where Saïx had been standing.

And then, as if to take Saïx’s place, Xigbar appeared with his hood low over his eyes. “Ready yet?”

This is the scene from the KH2 novel. It’s like with the one where Xaldin interrupted Demyx while he was fixing his hair. In this scene Saïx’s X-shaped scar is mentioned, as well as a mirror. Also, the white marble description sounds a lot like it’s drawing an allusion to Castle Oblivion. Probably not a coincidence. This scene demonstrates that Saïx is like a robot, FAR more so than any of the other Nobodies. It’s almost like he was told to summon Demyx, but he just stared at him awkwardly. Like when the Dusks collected the photos of Roxas instead of getting the real Roxas. Then Xigbar arrives “as if to take his place” because he forgot Saïx isn’t capable of behaving like a normal person. And Xigbar had his hood up, which is a hint that there’s more to all of this that they’re not telling you. Xigbar was acting as his handler in that scene.

“…Yeah, yeah, just about,” Demyx replied apathetically. “Y’know, Xigbar, I don’t really think I’m the best suited for tailing somebody…”

“Orders are orders, and you can’t go against the big man himself. Or did you forget?”

“…Hmph.” Not the most satisfying answer. Demyx scowled and leaned on the sitar in his hand.

“Anyway, you’re going to be saying hello first,” Xigbar added.

“Huh?”

“The hero and his little entourage are out and about. Saïx heard their voices.”

“Uh-huh…,” Demyx said, more like a sigh than a response, and frowned. He couldn’t hear the voices.

He may have been assigned a number, but he knew perfectly well that he just wasn’t cut out for fighting. All he could do was control water by playing music. He didn’t think of himself as especially strong. And shadowing the Keyblade wielder—or rather, Roxas—really didn’t sound like much fun. Still, he couldn’t defy the organization. For that sole reason, he had to follow his orders.

“Time to get going,” Xigbar said.

“Okay, okay…” Demyx shouldered his sitar and vanished.

This scene happens not long after Sora arrives in Hollow Bastion for the first time. Saïx heard “their” voices, which is how Xigbar knew that Sora and friends were out and about. Demyx couldn’t hear the voices. I don’t think they’re talking about Sora, Donald, and Goofy’s voices. I think it’s the same voices he heard screaming that let Xigbar and Xaldin know that the world was on the move. Whatever the hell that even meant.

The Lich is a Pureblood Heartless that appears in Kingdom Hearts III. Unlike other Heartless, it does not consume hearts to create more Heartless. Rather, it captures hearts and ferries them to the abyss of darkness. Also uniquely, if caught in time, it can be forced to relinquish the hearts it has captured, allowing them to return to their bodies.

I have to wonder if the reason Saïx can hear these voices is because his heart has been captured. So since Isa’s heart is in that abyss, Saïx can hear things. Which is...creepy.

Young Xehanort: The Lich you've been fighting—it's not like other Heartless. It exists to usher hearts down to the depths of darkness."

In fantasy fiction, a lich (from Old English meaning "corpse") is a type of undead creature. Often such a creature is the result of a transformation, as a powerful magician skilled in necromancy or a king striving for eternal life using spells or rituals to bind his intellect and soul to his "phylactery" and thereby achieving a form of immortality. Liches are depicted as being clearly cadaverous, bodies desiccated or completely skeletal. Liches are often depicted as holding power over hordes of lesser undead creatures, using them as soldiers and servants. Unlike zombies, which are often depicted as mindless, a lich is sapient, retaining independent thought and is as intelligent as it was prior to its transformation. 

I definitely think Saïx was possessed by a lot more than just Xehanort (who himself was probably possessed). He’s possessed by something associated with the Lich. They are in control of Xehanort, and they want to complete Kingdom Heats so that they can take over the Realm of Light and exist there.

[nadziejastar]

Ansem’s Report 2

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

Extract the darkness from a person’s heart.

Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject’s heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness…What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

That’s what I’ve been thinking a lot about. Was he trained as an assassin from the beginning? Or was he turned into that after becoming an Organization member since it just happened to fit his skills? I’m leaning towards afterwards. I think they originally just wanted to experiment on the darkness of the heart to create vessels. I don’t think they needed a specifically trained assassin until they formed Organization XIII. It’s possible that they tried to force Lea kill other subjects against his will to awaken the darkness inside of him. These are what the experiments entailed. We saw Xehanort extract darkness from Ven. So, it wouldn’t be too outlandish to think subjects were forced to eliminate the “weaklings” to amplify their darkness.

Secret Ansem Report 2

I have made a grave mistake. My study of the “darkness of the heart” began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed. Spurred on by my youngest apprentice, Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle. Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the “darkness of the heart." As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.

This is Report 2 from KH2.

Secret Report 4: Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Subject’s memories have not returned, and our conversations remain less than lucid. My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse. I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she. Upon discovering the tests I’ve been conducting, my master demanded that I cease my work immediately and destroy what research I have compiled. Worse still, he ordered the release of my remaining subjects. She is gone. Where is Subject X now? Has "wise” Master Ansem hidden her away? Whatever the case, I will not be deterred.

And this is Report 2 on Subject X. They are all connected. I’m starting to think that maybe Subject X was an anomaly and they only realized how unique he was afterwards. Maybe the original plan was to go for Lea and amplify his darkness as much as they could so they could turn him into a vessel. There’s a lot of reasons I think that the apprentices might have thought Isa was useless originally, because he was weak and couldn’t fight. (I’ll explain why later on). Lea might have been the intended target. He had a very strong heart, and a lot of potential for darkness.

“No. It is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage!” Xehanort shouted to Ventus.

I don’t know how to. There’s nothing like that in me.

I can’t change my fear into rage. I’m just scared.

Isa probably had a LOT of fear, but very little rage. Lea was capable of a LOT of rage, but as we see he is very strong-minded and can be VERY fearless.

“Destroy him!? Wait, please, that’s way too fast!” Axel shot back, instantly, the organisation members’ eyes concentrated on him.

“It’s an order. Why are you hesitating? Aren’t you the one who mercilessly punishes those who turn their backs on the organisation?” Xaldin said, from the third chair. Xemnas’ expression was hidden under the hood, like the others.

“He hasn’t turned his back. He just can’t come back yet!”

“If he does not return, he will be punished. If you go against this order, it’s you who will be punished,” said Xaldin, as spears floated up beside him, pointing right at Axel. Axel glared at Xaldin, and tension flowed thick in the air.

Xaldin’s spear stabbed with force into Axel’s chair.

But, Axel didn’t move.

Axel reused to budge an inch when Xaldin threatened him and then sent the lance right next to his head. He just glared at him. Xemnas had to step in and do the threatening because he knew Axel hated Xaldin and didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of showing fear. So not only is he fearless, he is defiant. He wouldn’t have followed orders to kill other innocent people unless they had a way to compel him to do so. And I think that’s the only reason they kept Isa around for so long. Lea would follow “icky” orders to protect Isa.

Roxas: Look at the way the stones have been kicked up. Another sign the beast fought the Heartless?

Xaldin: And also a sign that his power far exceeds anything I anticipated...Perfect.

Lea didn’t become a Heartless during the experiments. He can open dark corridors as a human. He was one of the only two subjects remaining at the end (other than Isa). He was kept around even though Xemnas knew he was a traitor and eliminated Vexen, who was doing good work on the Replicas. Lea HAD to have been thought of as special by the apprentices.

Roxas: It’s pretty here.

Xaldin: How would you compare it to the rest of the castle?

Roxas: Hmm… It’s brighter, I guess. Most of the castle’s pretty dark.

The ballroom was special because it was the brightest part of the castle. It’s where the Beast danced with Belle. It was special to him.

“There are Heartless here as well, but I see no damage to indicate a struggle. The only conclusion is that he is avoiding this part of the castle. Although it, too, is stained dark with despair. Like the Beast’s own heart,” Xaldin remarked with a faint smile.

What’s that supposed to mean? Roxas pondered the question as they left the ballroom and climbed more stairs.

But Xaldin got all creepy and said it would be dark with his despair. Lea was probably viewed similarly to how the Beast was by Xaldin. Lea had a strong heart because Isa was his light in he darkness. Even if they forced Lea to kill other subjects, he never gave himself over to darkness. So the apprentices were getting desperate. There was probably a parallel scenario to Roxas and Xion, where they would only need one of them. If they targeted Isa, then Lea would be filled with despair. Isa was his weakness.

“We will conquer hearts and make them our own. Hearts shall never again have power over us.”

For the past few days, he had been mulling over what Xemnas could have meant by that speech. Hearts having power over them? What was that about?

Whenever Axel was whiling away the hours by himself, that phrase kept bouncing around in his head. He didn’t know what was so compelling about it. Did the other Nobodies think about stuff like this?

Hearts, emotions… He couldn’t stop thinking about where it all came from. He chewed over the possibilities, coming up with theories. Since when had he been a philosopher?

There’s also the direct connection between Axel and Xaldin.

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

Xaldin’s report sounds so much like what Axel was thinking on Day 117 ~Secrets~, which is a very important day and is connected to Day 119 ~Work to Do~.

“So we can’t let that… wait.” Axel glanced at Roxas.

“Did you think of a way?” Roxas asked, happily. Beside him, Xion stayed silent, face hidden in her hood.

“Roxas, you should just do your best.”

“Huh?” Xion said, just as Roxas asked “…What do you mean?”

This is the first time I’ve felt Xion look at me, thought Axel. “Until you can use the Keyblade again, Xion, you two should make sure to always stick together. That way, no one will figure out that you can’t use your Keyblade.” “I see…!” Roxas smiled.

“But, you’d have to try twice as hard from now on, Roxas.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Roxas giving a strong nod.

Axel told Roxas to “do his best”. That’s the more literal translation of what he said when he told Roxas to do double-duty for Xion.

“It’s all thanks to you and Roxas.” The Keyblade disappeared as Xion smiled.

“I didn’t do anything,” said Axel, a wry smile pasting itself on his face.

“You made it so we could go on a mission together this morning, didn’t you?” said Xion, and Axel looked away.

When I’m smiled at with such a happy look… I feel uncomfortable.

“Maybe Xion wouldn’t have been able to make her Keyblade come back, if it weren’t for you, Axel,” Roxas added.

“Thank you, Axel,” they said, in unison.

This is why… this feeling is so hazy. Scratching his head unconsciously, Axel looked away from the two of them.

“Then how about a sea salt ice cream?” Axel asked, his back still turned.

“Huh?” Roxas asked.

This was Axel compromising, grudgingly. Don’t think I can take any more of those thank-yous.

Xion was also EXTREMELY grateful to Roxas and Axel. She thanked Roxas alone EIGHT times in the novel during this arc. Axel was really uncomfortable with all the thank-you’s. 

Day 96: Friends

Author: Axel

Xion regained her ability to wield the Keyblade. I don't know how or why. Maybe there's more to the Keyblade master they're not telling me about. I feel like I've been spending more time talking to Roxas and Xion lately than my old friend, Saïx. This has to have been what it was like, friendship.

It seemed to bring back memories for him.

“These Heartless here are the last, I think.”

“Xion, fight fight fight~” Axel clapped, as she turned around.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing… I’m praising you, you know.”

“You’re weird,” said Xion, laughing.

Just then, Axel suddenly felt like Xion’s face had blurred, and he rubbed his eyes.

“Is something wrong, Axel?”

“Nah…” For a second, the Xion I saw there had the face of… Naminé.

Xion and Naminé look very similar to begin with. But they aren’t exactly the same; their hair colour is different. But, just now, for just an instant, Xion’s hair was blonde. What is this?

On Day 117 ~Secrets~, Axel and Xion are paired together for a mission and Axel knew the assignment wasn’t random. Axel sees Xion fight VERY well and can’t believe she ever lost her Keyblade. He praises her and then he sees her as Naminé. 

And, the charm Sora carried to remember the promise he made to Kairi was made out of seashells, wasn’t it…? At the same time, there were memories of the Princess—Kairi. It’s only natural that Kairi is very strong in those memories, if Xion and Naminé are connected. Because Naminé is Kairi’s Nobody.

Now that I think about it, it wasn’t an illusion when I saw Xion and Naminé during our mission. It feels like there must be a reason.

“You have memories, don’t you, Axel?”

“Generally, yeah. They’re not much use for anything, anyway,” Axel replied, looking at Xion. Her expression seemed lost somehow.

Later on Xion and Axel talk about her memories and she brings up the seashell. Axel knew the seashell represented Kairi and Sora’s promise.

Day 118: You Changed, Not Me

Author: Axel

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone.I’m not the one who changed. You did.

The day after, Axel spent all day sleeping and wrote about how Roxas and Xion bring back memories for him, and how much Saïx has changed. He misses what they used to have.

Xigbar, standing and watching their exchange with his arms folded, opened his mouth. “You’ve been working really well lately haven’t you, Poppet.”

“…Thank you,” Xion replied in a small voice.

“Thank you? Why do you have to say thanks?

“Well, you were praising me, weren’t you? Was I wrong?”

“Haha… Yeah, I guess you could see it like that.” He pressed his hand to his mouth and snickered.

“Did I say something funny?”

“No, no. You’re fine.”

Xion looked up at Xigbar, anxiously. Beside them, Saïx didn’t show any notable reaction. He just watched.

Then on Day 119 ~Work to Do~, Xigbar and Saïx had this exchange. Apparently Xion absorbed one of Axel’s memories, the Organization was able to view it, and Xigbar was making fun of Saïx about it.

“You were fighting without a Keyblade, right? I’ll try it, too. So, today you’re using my Keyblade.”

A smile surfaced on Xion’s face. “…Okay. Thank you… I’ll do my best to make up your share, too.”

When Roxas loaned Xion his Keyblade, she said she’d do her best, too.

“Keep an eye on Roxas.” Without answering Xigbar, Xemnas made himself disappear.

“Yeah, do your best now.” Xigbar followed after.

In the novels, Xigbar also teases Saix by telling him to “do his best”. Lea and Isa were most likely in a very similar situation as Roxas and Xion were. Isa couldn’t fight and Lea did his best to protect him. Isa thanked Lea over and over. When he got better at fighting, Lea praised Isa. And it was connected to a promise they made to each other. Praising Xion made Axel remember.

“Understood, sir,” Saïx replied, and Xemnas disappeared.

“…Well, do your best. The best a kid without a heart can do, anyway,” said Xigbar, and he too disappeared.

And Xigbar calls him a kid without a heart. Xigbar probably found it hilarious that Xehanort made Isa into a vessel since they had such low expectations for him at first. I can see Xaldin or Xigbar telling him he had no right to be in the Organization and that he was a mistake they never should have made. And Saïx is the only Organization member who doesn’t go on missions. He only fights in his berserk state, which takes a large physical toll on him. When he fights Roxas, he says he hasn’t fought in a long time in the novel. His role is mainly an adjutant. I think he’s still seen as weak by the other members.

“Something you treasure is a weak spot?”

Roxas looked down. “I don’t really get it…”

There are so many things that Roxas and I don’t understand, Xion thought. If Axel was here right now, I know he’d explain it to us.

“I guess Axel won’t come home for a while…,” Roxas said, and Xion nodded.

Once Axel gets back, there are many things I want to ask him.

I think they may have given up on trying to bring the darkness out of Isa and were going to instead use him to draw out the darkness from Lea.

“We don’t have this much time to squander. You really are a defective failure, that’s all it is.”

Defective failure…? What is this about?

Saïx glanced at Xion, who stood hanging her head, and then left the area.

The scene of Xigbar praising Xion in front of Saïx happens on Day 119, with Xaldin at the Beast’s Castle. Saïx starts calling her defective on Day 150 ~Fear~, another day with Xaldin at Beast’s Castle.

“You wouldn’t understand. Okay, let’s RTC, Roxas.” Xaldin began to walk away, without answering Roxas’ question.

Left behind, Roxas turned back to the door of the beast’s room.

That rose—that he treasures… a weak point. I don’t really get it, thought Roxas. Maybe if I asked Axel, he’d help me understand…?

That’s the day Roxas gets to actually ask Axel about what he can’t bear to lose.

That’s right—I was going to ask Axel. “Axel?”

Axel looked over at him with his ice cream in his mouth. “Hm?”

“Is there something you don’t want to lose, Axel?” he asked.

Axel took his ice cream out of his mouth and shrugged. “Something I don’t want to lose? Where’s this coming from, all of a sudden?”

“Today I met someone who had something he didn’t want to lose. It was really important to him, and Xaldin said it becomes his weak point. I thought, I don’t have something like that…”

Axel breathed out in surprise. “Of course not, you don’t have a heart,” he replied.

He didn’t want to lose his memories.

Roxas looked down again. That’s… so very… “Scary, isn’t it,” he grumbled.

“Afraid, even without a heart?” Axel asked.

“If my friends… if you and Xion weren’t here anymore… no, if the two of you were erased from inside me, I’d be afraid.” Roxas shivered as if he were cold. I’m afraid just thinking about it. Afraid…? What is afraid?

“Fear and emotions like that don’t exist for us,” said Axel.

“But… I’m scared, right now.” If Axel and Xion were to be erased… That makes me more afraid than having my own existence erased. I don’t want to think about it.

But he said he wasn’t able to experience fear.

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

“Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.

“So it’s a step above best friends?”

“No—it’s not about steps.”

Roxas looked bewildered. As he’d expected, he wasn’t doing a very good job explaining it.

“Not that it matters. We’ll never know the difference.”

Roxas wouldn’t let it go. “Do you think we would, if we had hearts?”

“Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, I bet you’ll be able to figure it out.” The magic words again, Axel thought. It’ll all make sense when Kingdom Hearts is complete. But was that true?

No one had ever seen it happen before. So who knew?

Still, all they could do was believe in it.

Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts…

Another mission at the Beast’s Castle with Xaldin is on Day 171 ~Love~. And in the novel, Saïx’s quote is referenced.

“Is she that important to you?”

“More than anything.” Sora clenched his fists. He had to see Kairi, no matter what it took.

“Show me how important.”

Sora lowered his eyes for a moment, and then quietly knelt down, his head bowed low. “Please.”

“So, you really do care for her,” Saïx mused. “In that case…absolutely not.”

Sora sprang to his feet again. “You rotten—”

“Are you angry? Do you hate me? Then take that rage and bring it down upon the Heartless.”

I definitely think Lea was put in this same situation as Sora and Isa was the Kairi. Since Xion is a Replica based on Kairi, I think the Saïx/Xion parallels work even better. Kairi was the fuel to feed Sora’s anger. I think the apprentices might have decided to kill Isa or turn him into a Heartless or something. It was so they could make Lea feel total despair and be filled with darkness, like Terra was after Eraqus died. But I think Isa put up a lot more of a fight than they ever anticipated. He went berserk, lost his sense of self then they had a change of plans. They made him into a vessel. And they changed their methods of creating vessels afterwards to focus on getting the mind to renounce its sense of self.

He felt sad somehow, like he missed someone.

That voice, that attitude… Axel. His name is Axel.

But who is he? Oh—I remember. The guy with the scar on his forehead said he was trying to find Axel. Sora’s mind raced. No, there’s something else… He…he did something…!

“You— You’re the one who kidnapped Kairi!”

Axel twitched a little at that. “Bingo. The name’s Axel. Got it memorized?” he replied, eyes narrowed as he smiled sardonically.

“Where is she?!” cried Sora.

He flinched again and then scratched his head.

“Please just tell me!”

Seeing Sora nearly hunched over in his desperation, Axel’s gaze rose to the sky. “Look, about Kairi… I’m sorry.”

The air began wavering.

Axel felt really bad when he kidnapped Kairi. Like he knew what Sora felt like to beg and plead to see someone who was taken from him.

He shifted, relaxing his legs. “Are you that worried over Xion?”

“It’s just…when I saw her lying there, she was so quiet. It made me think she might never wake up.” Roxas’s voice was hushed with something very like fear.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” The best Axel could offer was empty words of comfort.

The day after the one about love, Xion collapsed and Axel wasn’t worried at first. He assumed she’d be fine.

“Yeah, that’s true, but… Don’t be careless,” Axel warned their backs as he followed behind.

“Axel is such a worry-wart, isn’t he.”

“Worry-wart—Maybe that’s cause you two worry me far too much.”

Xion and Roxas looked at each other, and laughed.

But when she slept for 20 days, he became worried. She woke up on Day 193 ~Memories~ and went on a mission with Roxas and Axel. They were excited because they never had a mission with all three of them before. They teased Axel and called him a worry-wart.

“That’s smart, Roxas!” Xion exclaimed.

“It is…?” Axel mumbled.

Axel isn’t getting it, she thought. But that doesn’t really matter. Working together as a trio, here in Twilight Town—it just makes things more fun.

But then…It happened as soon as she stepped into the station plaza. The world…tilted. Everything spun and swam and went dark.

What’s happening? What is this? I don’t know…

“Promise.”

Who are you?

“It’s my lucky charm. So you have to bring it back to me!”

Lucky charm…? The seashells……?

Xion collapsed and the promise between Sora and Kairi came to her mind. I think she was reacting yet again to Axel’s memories after she absorbed them by fighting alongside him again.

“Xion!” he called, after gently putting her down, but Xion didn’t react.

I was careless. I don’t have a clear answer as to why Xion faints so often in the first place. Why was she allowed to go on a mission in this condition? The thoughts floated up along with regret.

Axel blamed himself when Xion collapsed.

“But… I got a bit worried about my biggest and bestest friend Al… so I popped back to see how things are.”

“Worry? So, you worry about best friends?” Roxas asked, and Genie dabbed at his eyes with a white hanky he’d pulled out of somewhere.

“You worry and worry! Are things going well with Jasmine… has the city changed at all… so many things I’m interested in, I can’t contain myself…”

Best friends worry about each other.

“Your friend’s… wishes…” So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

This was on Day 75 ~Inseparable~, which was about a friend’s resolve.

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…” It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

“Cause Genie said he’s a guy called Al’s number one best friend,” said Roxas, looking at Axel.

“Best friend… that’s different to a friend, isn’t it?” Xion added, also looking at Axel.

“It’s the same kind of thing,” Axel replied, and Roxas and Xion looked at each other.

Axel knew what it was like to be worried about a best friend, but being told to respect their wishes. Isa was targeted because he was Lea’s weakness. Something bad happened to him and Lea blamed himself.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

It seems to have traumatized him quite badly.

“Thank you… Axel,” said Xion, still lying on the bed. Axel scratched his head, seeming a little self-conscious.

“Are you okay now?”

Xion nodded, seeing Roxas’ worried state. “Just a little dizzy. I’m sorry for worrying you,” she replied.

“Don’t scare us like that, yeah?” Axel said, sounding tired.

It’s why he was so pissed at Saïx on that day and said Roxas and Xion were his best friends. Isa was his weakness, yet Saïx has no consideration for him. He felt fear for the first time in forever and it brought back all of these memories of worrying about Isa. Because Lea’s fear involves the concept of love, I decided to look at the weapons of Days to see if there were any clues. And there were.

The Lovers Meaning: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices, partnerships, duality

The primary meaning within The Lovers is harmony, attractiveness, and perfection in a relationship. The trust and the unity that the lovers have gives each of them confidence and strength, empowering the other. The bond that they have created is very strong, and it can indicate that the two are joined in marriage, and other close and intimate relationships. Another meaning behind the lovers card is the concept of choice - a choice between things that are opposing and mutually exclusive. This could be a dilemma that you need to think about carefully and make the best decision for your situation.

These are all the weapons that are “Crisis Gear”. A crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger. Or a time when a difficult or important decision must be made. Luxord’s card is pink and is shaped like the Four of Cups.

The Four of Cups Meaning: Meditation, contemplation, apathy, reevaluation, disconnectedness.

The Four of Cups tend to appear when you are feeling discouraged and unmotivated. You may feel as if there is no solution or way forward in your situation. Life has become stagnant, and nothing seems to make you happy or passionate. You are feeling apathetic - regardless of what happens, whether the day is good or bad, none of it matters to you. The Four of Cups commands a self-evaluation of your attitude so that you can pull yourself out of this rut. The solution is likely right in front of you, the hand is offering you a way out, but you release yourself out of your mental stubbornness and deploy new approach.

Xemnas (Triumph): A triumph is a great success or achievement, often one that has been gained with a lot of skill or effort. I think this is referring to Xemnas’ triumph over the heart. He’s certainly not triumphant about love.

Xigbar (Diabo Eye): Probably a reference to the Gazing Eye.

Xaldin (Crescent Moon Destruction): Some of Xaldin’s weapons have weird names associated with the moon. Like this one. I think they are a reference to Isa.

Vexen (Laboratory): It indicates that this is related to the experiments.

Zexion (Discarded Theory): I think Isa was an anomaly. Their original theory was discarded and now they focus on getting the mind to renounce its sense of self.

Saïx (Balsamic): As the final phase in the lunar cycle, the Balsamic Moon is the monthly “sleep time”.  It’s the symbol in Isa’s jacket.

Roxas (Silent Dirge): Musically, a dirge is a somber song expressing mourning or grief.

Marluxia (Gallant Achillea):  Achillea is a genus of plants named for the Greek hero Achilles. Achillea flowers are also commonly known as “yarrows,” and they represent healing and comfort for heartache. Many people give these blossoms as gifts to symbolize their concern for the recipient’s well-being. “Gallant” means “brave” or “honorable.” Achilles was killed near the end of the Trojan War by Paris, who shot him in the heel with an arrow. Alluding to these legends, the term “Achilles’ heel” has come to mean a point of weakness, especially in someone or something with an otherwise strong constitution. The Achilles tendon is also named after him due to these legends. Stuff like this really makes it clear that the weapons are not random. Love is a weakness and the achillea flower was put into the same Gear as The Lovers arcana.

The Chariot: Control, willpower, direction, success, action, determination

The Chariot is a card of willpower, determination and strength. You have discovered how to make decisions in alignment with your values with the Lovers card, and now you are taking action on those decisions. You have set your objectives and are now channeling your inner power with a fierce dedication to bring them to fruition. When you apply discipline, commitment and willpower to achieve your goals, you will succeed. The Chariot’s message comes to make you stronger as you strive to achieve your goals

All of the weapons in “Omega Gear” have the same color scheme as “Crisis Gear”. Omega is the twenty-fourth, and last, letter of the Greek alphabet; It also means the last of a series or the final development. In Luxord’s deck this is The Chariot.

The Two of Cups: Unified love, partnership, mutual attraction, connection  

The Two of Cups represents the flow of love between two people. With this card, you are creating deep connections and partnerships, based on shared values, compassion, and unconditional love. You have mutual respect and appreciation for one another, and together you reach higher planes of consciousness and understanding.

Xemnas (Ruination): To severely harm, damage, or spoil it. Probably referring to Isa.

Xigbar (Double Tap): When firing a handgun, it is common to shoot a two-shot burst known as a “Double Tap.” Double tap shooting is often performed when shooters are training for self-defense situations.

Vexen (Contrivance): A thing which is created skillfully and inventively to serve a particular purpose.

Lexaeus (Veiled Moon): Oboro means “hazy,” “dim”, or “faint”, usually in relation to the moon.

Zexion (Harbinger Anthology): A harbinger is a sign that something (usually bad) is going to happen.

Saïx (Orbit): The Moon orbits the Sun. These are the only two weapons of Saïx which have a black aura. Black auras represent extreme grief or negative emotions, or possession.

Axel (Burning Out): The albedo (white) is the second stage of alchemy. In this process, previously unconscious contents are brought into the light of consciousness and a dialogue with the unconscious psyche or soul is initiated. Being deep in nigredo (black), a white light appears. It is a symbolic expression for the rising of the light at the depth of darkness. Albedo is the discovery of the dualistic nature of man. When male and female are united again, one will experience his true self. Conscious and unconscious are totally united.

Marluxia (Noble Peony): They may represent a wish for the recipient to receive endless love or endless wealth and esteem. Peonies embody romance and prosperity and are regarded as an omen of good fortune and a happy marriage. The peony’s representation of bashfulness derives from the notion that nymphs were said to hide within its petals. In China and Japan they are viewed as the “King of Flowers" and are depicted frequently in paintings and artwork from the Eastern world.

Roxas (Lunar Eclipse): An eclipse in which the moon appears darkened as it passes into the earth’s shadow. Since Xehanort was possessing Terra, it might actually reference that, too.

Xaldin ( 弦月断 - Stars, Moon, Heaven): Xaldin has a weirdy named weapon that translates from Chinese to Xingyuetian. I think it’s meant to be a play on Xing Tian with the character (月 - yuè) meaning moon added in.

Xingtian (Chinese: 刑天; pinyin: Xíngtiān; “Opposing Heaven”) is a Chinese deity who fights against the Supreme Divinity, not giving up even after the event of his decapitation. Losing the fight for supremacy, he was beheaded and his head buried in Changyang Mountain. Nevertheless, headless, with a shield in one hand and a battle axe in the other, he continues the fight, using his nipples as eyes and his bellybutton as a mouth. 

Roxas: Is love fighting to protect what’s most important to you? Where does its power come from?

Xingtian symbolizes the indomitable spirit which maintains the will to resist no matter what tribulations one may undergo or what troubles one may encounter. As such, Xingtian has been lauded in poetry and prose. Since Xing Tian is represented by an “X” I definitely think it represents Isa. He was completely outmatched and unable to protect anyone with his own strength. He was a berserker possessed by the spirit of a rabbit. But he fought with everything he had and wound up becoming the Beast instead of the Belle.

AXEL SAT PATIENTLY WITH HIS BACK AGAINST A WALL. He was waiting for the perfect moment to rescue Kairi.

If he made his move right now, he wouldn’t have to worry about Xemnas. But what about Saïx? Or Xigbar? Or Luxord?

He really wasn’t sure he could do this. He may have talked a big game, but he had an awful lot of doubt behind it.

Maybe he was discovering the emotion known as fear.

Axel rediscovers fear when he’s trying to sneak into the castle to rescue Kairi.

Then someone else spoke behind him. “I’ve been waiting for you, Axel.”

And he runs into Saïx.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

Roxas was more afraid to lose Axel or Xion than himself. I think the same was true for Lea.