#will NOT get a clue that someone wants to team with him unless they say it directly to his face

[paziffic]

Etho is so neurodivergent coded

[anonymityisfunwriter]

I Don't Like You

Part of The Grumpy X Sunshine Series Anon's 1K Celebration

The first mistake you made was not paying attention during a team meeting, especially one that was dividing up assignments for the next month.

The second mistake you made was listening to Sam.

And if you listened to Bucky, arguably, the third mistake you made was being friends with Sam in the first place.

You don't have a clue what's going on until you hear your name being called. Your head snaps up to Tony, who seems acutely aware that no one is paying attention to him, "Huh?"

"Just say yes," Sam whispers from beside you.

"Uh, yes! That's fine!"

"Perfect! Thank you for volunteering!"

You quirk an eyebrow, "Volunteering?"

"To take Sam's place on the mission next week?"

The mission that no one wanted, the one Sam was desperately trying to get out of but couldn't unless someone volunteered. You turn to Sam with a glare that would most definitely make Bucky proud, "I do not like you right now."

Sam brightly smiles and pats you on the shoulder, "And I’m okay with that."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series

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[lunarw0rks]

Through The Ashes | Chapter Six

Summary: You've been given an offer to join the 141 Task Force. Upon taking it, you find yourself ensnared with the mysterious masked man who won't take his eyes off you.

Warning(s): explicit content (18+), jealous!ghost, car sex, fingering, bite play kinda?, p in v sex, size kink??, themes of terrorism, canon-typical violence, depictions of death, PTSD themes

A/N: i hope you enjoy! | Word Count: 3.9k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ prev. chapter | next chapter // requests | ao3 | playlist

Do Not Negotiate

When you arrived in Chicago, the sounds of the busy city never stopped. The number of civilians walking around at any given moment made you sick to your stomach. They have no clue what kind of danger they’re in—the violence you’re witness to every day.

“Laswell says Hassan was picked up and brought somewhere Downtown. They smuggled the missile here, but the target location they’re after is still unknown.��� Price’s voice rang over the burner phone. He ended the call before you could say another word.

You tossed the phone into a trashcan and kept walking, scoping out the district you’ll be hiding out in with your team.

A hand pops out of the dark alleyway and yanks you into it. You’re about to reach for your pistol, but stop when you see his eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I almost shot you!” You exclaimed, looking around you in case someone was eyeing the two of you.

“You’re practically walking around with a target on your back, Sergeant,” His voice emerges more as a growl.

“I went out for some fresh air, the hideout is only a few blocks away.” You say in your defense, removing yourself from his grip. “You’re the one slithering around in the dark, Sir.”

Ever since he spilled his guts to you in Las Almas, there was an eerie serene feeling between the two of you. You had no choice but to stay professional. You heavily doubt he’ll make the mistake of being vulnerable around you again.

“I’ve been tailing you since you walked out the door. You need better ears.”

You scoffed at the audacity of him being anywhere near you. He wouldn’t be unless he was ordered to. “Price put you on this? I didn’t ask for a babysitter.”

He finally steps out of the darkness, continuing to follow behind each step you take. “Captain’s worried about you.” He’s taunting you.

“Yeah, I’m sure he is.” You keep your distance ahead of him, picking up the pace of your walk. The sooner you get back to the hideout, the sooner this conversation will end.

You finally approach the building, not bothering to hold the door open for him when you walk inside. He’s seconds behind you, instantly splitting off from beside you to go off on his own. The makeshift work area is more simply a room with a few chairs, some laptops, and a few bedrolls. You never thought you’d be missing the lodging in Las Almas, but this place made you do just that.

“You sure we can’t add some wallpaper, Cap?” Soap asks Price, who is less than impressed at the joke. You stifled a smirk and proceeded to your “bed”, hoping to finally catch up on the sleep you’d lost the past few weeks. Your body was exhausted by this point.

You were dragged out of your sleep by a boot nudging your rubs, making your lids snap open. You scowled at Soap, who seemed amused with himself.

“We’re going for drinks. Might do you some good to have fun once and a while.” His words are followed by a sneer.

There’s no point in going back to sleep now, you’re wide awake. At least this time there won’t be any suppressed feelings with Ghost—he’s made his feelings, or lack of them very clear—so why not?

You put on a pair of casual boots, pushing yourself to your feet. “Are you only asking me because Ghost didn’t want to come with you?” His reaction to that question answered it for you, making you roll your eyes sarcastically. That’s exactly why he asked you. At least you didn’t have to feel Ghost’s passionless eyes watching your every move for once.

You went over to the mirror in the corner, seeing the bruising on your face had reduced down to small bits of discoloration, no longer a deep shade of rusty violet.

You then slipped on some of the only civilian clothes you packed — a pair of black skinny jeans and a plain shirt paired with a khaki parka to shield you from the rain.

“You look fine.” Soap says, growing impatient at you nitpicking yourself. “Don’t worry about the scars, men find it sexy.” He guides you to the door as if he’s practically shoving you out the door to let loose. You know he’s just gassing you up so you don’t spend the entire evening a sourpuss.

—

You and Soap meet the rest of the team, except for Ghost—who’s out there doing God knows what. For the first time, you’re actually enjoying yourself with them, all in spite of the stressful work that brought you to the city.

You’re sat at the end of the table you were all sharing, merely listening to their conversations, which are complete nonsense by now.

Soap gets up from the seat next to you, leaving it open. “I’ll go get us another round.” You keep your eyes on the drink you’re holding, savoring the bitterness of it when you sip from it. You’d rather relax and laugh at them, instead of with them.

“Where’d you get the scars? They’re badass.” A random bellowed over the crowd, emerging from it. “You some kind of secret agent or something?” He slurs his words and looks as if he can barely keep himself upright.

Your team was still occupied in their drunk conversation, which would probably save you the embarrassment of being flirted with in front of them.

“She’d tell you, but then she’d have to kill you.” The man's eyes widened a bit in fear, and he stumbled away, disappearing into the crowd of patrons again.

You turned around, seeing Ghost standing behind you with a puffed chest. The others didn’t pay much mind to what happened if they even noticed at all. The music playing in the bar stifled almost everything, and you were at the end of the table. He follows the man with his eyes, making sure he was fully gone before he responded. 

He’s dressed the most casually you’ve seen him—a tight black tee with an Army green pair of cargo pants, and in place of the balaclava is a black face mask.

You tightened your brow and set your drink on the table. “Thought you weren’t coming.” You stayed detached with your tone, acting as if you didn’t care whether he was there or not.

“Changed my mind…” His words had a hidden undertone to them, as if he wanted to say more, but didn’t.

You almost retort, but it’s pointless. Once he’s made up his mind, there’s little chance of going back on it. You expect him to sit in the empty seat beside you, but he stays standing, looking like he wants out of the busy bar as soon as possible.

You look down at the time on your phone and leave enough cash to pay your tab. You then stand up from the stool and walk out of the bar, seeing the rental Simon had parked at the entrance.

“Mind giving me a lift?” He was kind enough to inhibit a flirty conversation, so the least he can do is drive you home. He remains silent and climbs inside, waiting for you to get in as well.

As he pulls out of the space, you can’t take it anymore. “I have to ask… How long were you watching us? You timed that cockblock surprisingly well.”

He almost steers off the road at the sudden vulgarity, but there was no sense in beating around the bush. You two have seen too much of each other for that. He turns his head to look at you, then returns his attention to the slick road ahead.

If he were to be honest, he was watching, just not the group. He was watching you.

“Way to keep it professional, Sergeant.” You can tell he’s trying to hide a smile, but the crinkle around his eyes tells you otherwise. “I wasn’t watching… I was—”

“—Watching, spying, the same thing, L.T.” You cut him off, resting your head against the window. “Besides, I thought you over anyone would’ve been in there having a drink.”

“Too bloody loud in there, not my scene.” He replied, reaching the street the hideout was on.

You sneer at him, “Oh, right, I forgot—you only drink alone without any lights on.” You recall the night you and him did just that when you were still new to the team.

He looks over at you, giving an offended glare through the mask, even though deep down he knew you were only playing with him.

That was the first night you looked at him that way. If you had known how things would turn out, you would’ve pushed the desires away the second they flooded you, which was easier said than done. 

You weren’t the master of suppressing feelings like he was; that stung a little to think about.

He parks beside the curb, shutting off the engine. You can tell he’s deep in thought again, almost near dissociation. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he wanted anything to do with you, and vice versa. After everything? The confusion he put you through?

“I should probably get to bed.” You reach for your bag, which is at your feet. Your hand is hovering over the handle, ready to push it open.

“That bloke in the bar,” he freezes you in your tracks, “why’d you give him the time of day?”

You took your hand off the table and looked at him with a baffled expression.

“Because there wouldn’t be baggage attached.” You reply facetiously, your mouth still slightly agape in shock. “Why are you so curious?”

“You need better judgment. He was pathetic.”

“You sure you didn’t have anything to drink, Sir?” You asked teasingly. You were wondering where this sudden vigilance came from since he showed up behind you at the bar.

“Painfully sober, Sergeant…”

Your faces were only inches apart now, both staring at one another over the center console. It was the same look he gave you before he kissed you weeks ago—a look of appetite. This time, you initiated the ravenous kiss before he had time to rethink it. You pulled down his mask and pushed your lips toward his.

His hands were gripping your shoulders, and you were climbing into the driver’s seat without a hitch. You break away for air, resting your forehead against his as you look into his eyes for any sign of hesitation. There is none, but you can tell he’s holding himself back.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered into your mouth as if that was going to stop you now.

You trace your thumb along his Adam’s apple, giving it a little pressure. “There’s no rule saying we have to like each other.” His eyes flash a deeper look of arousal at your words as if that’s what he was waiting to hear.

He keeps one hand on your waist, and the other pulls your shirt and jacket off, allowing him to run his tongue down your cleavage. He nibbles on the skin of your breast while you let out a gasp. Last time, he barely did anything to serve you, so it was a new palette of sensations to experience.

He bites down on the cup of your bra, then lets it go, letting it harshly snap against your breast. Your breathing hitches, feeling the sting of it afterward.

He forces his fingers down your waistband, running his fingers over your clothed clit. You shakily gasped, feeling his cock begin to harden through his pants. Not long after, you slipped them off, careful not to elbow the horn behind you. Now you’re in your panties, straddling his clothed length.

You’re stomach to stomach with him. He lifts you up briefly to slide his pants down to his mid-thighs, now exposing his cock to you. You’re more focused on seeing his face, instead of just his eyes—or like last time, only his mouth.

This time it’s his whole face right there in front of you, a sight you never thought you’d have the privilege of seeing. His chiseled jaw, small scars riddling his face; and most of all the chestnut-brown eyes eye-fucking you.

You begin to tremor your hips against him, feeling your wetness soak through the fabric so much you could see it seeping on his manhood already.

He grunts and shoves you off of it, instead pulling the tongue of your panties to the side, inserting his middle and ring finger inside your moistened walls, curling them into an arch, which only heightened the feeling of pleasure.

He slowly inserted his lengthy fingers into you over and over again, making you grind against them for more. You could finish from his skilled hands alone. He flicked his from his own fingers, up to your face, noticing your eagerness for more of him. He took that as his sign to continue.

When he removes his digits, you guide yourself onto him, sinking slowly to make sure you’re adjusted to his size first.

“Fuck, you feel good around me…” He trembles, his eyes rolling back against the headrest of the seat.

It took a few moments, but eventually, the feeling of him inside of you made you whimper, getting quicker as you panted into his mouth. You leaned into the crook of his neck as he gripped onto your hips, guiding your movements when you grew too sensitive to keep consistent. You clenched around him tightly in response, causing him to shutter in anticipation for more.

“You can take more than that, Love.” He whispered into your ear, gripping your hips tighter before forcing them all the way down on his length with one rough shove. A sharp cry escaped your lips at the sudden change in the amount of length you were taking.

He seemed more than amused at your reaction, continuing to harshly put you down on him, and all you could do was sit there. He secretly loved the way you let him manhandle you, making you take him however he pleased.

Your hand pressed against the frosted window, the warmth of your hand causing a visible print to show on the outside.

Your thighs burned as the motion worked their muscles, sure to make you sore in the morning. In the moment, you didn’t feel the fatigue, only the feeling of his tip deep inside of you, brushing against your cervix. His size bulged through your stomach if you looked closely at it.

You expected him to get sloppy as he was nearing his climax, but he kept his stamina the entire time, using every bit of his strength to keep guiding your body. Hushed, low grunts escaped his lips, most muffled by his mouth against your neck as he rode out his high.

He placed the heel of his hand against your bud, lightly pressing down, so with each thrust you got some friction on it. When your moans got more out of control, he continued thrusting upwards into you, covering your mouth with the other hand to ensure no one nearby could hear.

With a few slamming thrusts that became more spaced out, he released inside of you, coating your entrance as he pulled himself out. You’re slumped against him as you catch your breath, finally relaxing your exhausted muscles.

He traces his fingers over your shoulder blades, then down the curve of your spine, as if to soothe the weakness he knows you’re experiencing.

He kissed your neck tenderly as you peeled yourself off his lap, back into the passenger side. You tongued your bottom lip, still running off the euphoric high you just experienced. He reached down and grabbed your bottoms, allowing you to get redressed.

It was ironic. Even after him being deep inside of you, practically exploring every inch of you, you still couldn’t say a word to him. Nor could he, still feeling like he was using you in some way—like he was repeating old mistakes.

You opened the car door, clenching your wallet in your fist. You catch a glimpse of your reflection in the windshield; your cheeks are flushed, hair a mess, lips still puffy from his bites.

He remains in the car, watching you as you return to the inside of the safehouse.

When you arrive inside, a sense of relief washes over you, seeing that none of the boys are back yet. Thank God for you—there would be few ways to explain your appearance away.

Surely, them seeing you leave the bar so abruptly was going to be suspicious enough, you didn’t need more.

You take a lengthy shower, using the steam to soothe the tension you’re carrying. When you exit the bathroom, everyone is back from the bar. Price is working somewhere in the shadows, Gaz is typing away on his laptop.

You overhear Soap’s prying through the paper thin walls.

“Something you’re not telling me, Ghost?”

“Like what, Johnny?”

“Don’t act coy, L.T. The handprint… you took someone on a joyride.”

Your cheeks heat up in humiliation, praying that Ghost will explain it away somehow. If a loudmouth like Soap finds out, you’ll never hear the end of it. Not to mention Price. Oh God, Price…

“You’d get the chance if you focused on yourself, Johnny. I ain’t telling you the details.”

You give a hefty sigh of relief, moving away from your eavesdropping position when the two men emerge from the kitchen. You pretend to be flipping through the pages of the book you bought, laying on your back on the bedroll. In reality, you’re using the book as a prop to hide your facial expression.

“Goodnight.” Soap says as he slips inside of his bedroll, which of course has to be parallel to yours—and he’s senselessly unaware of the stages of grief his gossiping just put you through. You mutter a goodnight in return, gazing at the cracks in the ceiling above you.

—

“Did you hear what I said, Private?” Price’s stern voice snaps you out of your blank stare.

“Right,” You start, examining the eyes on you from each member of your team. “We’re going to find Hassan somewhere downtown, and redirect the missiles.” You repeat what he briefed, only getting a squint in response.

You were right, technically, so there’s no proof you weren’t listening. In reality, you’re combing over everything that happened yesterday.

Fucking each other was better than being at one another’s throats—but you were somehow stuck in the purgatory between the two. You’ll just keep doing what you’ve been forcing yourself to do for months—shut everything off, and get the damn job done.

Why was this so hard to keep up? Maybe he was right, and you really weren’t meant to be with someone like him, otherwise you’re plagued by a debate of being honest or changing the way you feel completely. 

You risk losing any semblance of trust or losing yourself.

—

“Laswell will be completing our overwatch. Hassan is surrounded by loyal, heavily-trained AQ reinforcements. I want all of you to stick together, and keep civilian casualties to a minimum. Everyone got it?”

Everyone is laser focused as your vans speed through the streets of Chicago, swerving through rush hour traffic as you race for the downtown. You grip your weapon tightly, keeping your eyes peeled for anyone who seems out of place. You need to find the missile control before Hassan is tipped off on your team’s presence and decides to detonate.

The brakes jerk everyone in the seats as fast as their feet are at hitting the pavement. You’ve reached one of the target buildings—a shell company owned by the Las Almas Cartel.

“You have authority to execute any hostiles. Find that missile control and shut it down.” Price booms through the comms. You do just that, following in formation as you sweep the building.

These AQ soldiers weren’t just following orders like the Shadows—no, they were here to cause chaos among innocents—you didn’t have any doubt as you dropped any you faced.

“Finish evac on the civilians, Garrick. We’re heading toward the Control Room.” You follow behind Soap and Ghost, finally reaching your destination. Ghost hovers in front of the control panel, Laswell in his ear instructing him on how to disarm the missile.

You’re on your toes as you guard the room, looking outside at the city bustling in the distance, no clue what kind of danger they’re in.

“Copy. Entering disarm code now, Laswell.” With a few beeps, he succeeds in disarming it. You resume your position behind them as you retreat back down the levels.

Now, you needed to find Hassan. He’s still out there, still just as dangerous without the missile as he was with it.

When you reach the outside, you hear distant gunshots from a few blocks away, making your squad scramble back inside the vehicle. As you race even faster than before, you hear the emerging screams of civillians.

You don’t remember getting out of the car, just that you’re now in cover behind a stone fountain, hearing gunfire ricochet around you. You peek out and open fire at the targets—each one you drop is a breadcrumb to Hassan.

“Parkway is clear. Moving on to the shopping plaza on Main Street. Multiple civilian casualties along the way, Sir.” You speak into your radio, tiptoeing along the streets as your forced to listen to the misery around you.

“Alleyways are clear.” Gaz emerges from them, meeting in the middle with Ghost, Soap, and you.

You eventually reach the middle of the Plaza, where Hassan is hidden somewhere. By now, he’ll be more reckless, and with even less to live for. You felt the anger bubble in your stomach when you saw innocents injured, or crying out as they held their dead loved ones. It made you sick to your stomach, no matter how many times you have seen it.

“I would rather die than surrender!” Hassan’s voice is heard from somewhere above, making your team stop in their tracks. You spot him, standing above on one of the apartment complexes, holding a grenade in his fist.

You aim your sights at him. “Visual on target, Captain. He’s on top of the apartment complex by the market.”

He responds to your call quickly and firmly. “Do not negotiate. Execute the target before more people are blown to bits.”

“You don’t get to surrender, Hassan. Look around you. Look at the innocents you’ve killed.” Soap thunders up at him, his lips pressed into a tight line of disgust.

“My message will always carry. My men will always fight, even after I’m gone.” He reaches for the pin of the grenade and loops his finger through it. Your scope doesn’t leave his head, even at the prospect of being blown apart.

You don’t think. You don’t breathe. You shoot—instantly watching as he tumbles over the railing of the balcony, causing a gruesome scene that painted the street below.

You should be relieved that no one else got hurt, but you’re not. The feeling of numbness is quick to stifle any appreciation you’re receiving. You wince at the sight of his corpse, forcing yourself to advert your eyes.

“Good shots.” Soap pats your shoulder, but you have no reaction to the praise. You didn’t deserve any of it. It felt wrong. All you could picture were the innocents that lost their lives today, the ones who are going home without a loved one tonight, those who will have no visitors in the hospital.

“Target is down, Sir.” You affirm into the radio, staring vacuously at the people you couldn’t save in time.

TAGLIST: @neoarchipelago @ghostlythots @gothgirl6-6-6 @cloudyyjanee @ladyelissarose @almightywdm @glitterypirateduck @brokenghostgirl1

[acutecoral]

I really want to vod Foolish so much and catch up to what he's been up to

Mostly because there's something about the way he roleplays that I became very aware with, especially after OPQ

He is extremely conscious and deliberate when it comes to his roleplay of his characters.

Every choice, every act, everything he says and doesn't say? That's all him playing to his character, and oh boy is his character is so subtle and nuanced beneath the silly goofy side that most people know him by on the server

He's amazing at roleplay! It kind of blew me away when he played in OPQ!

He did things that he as a person would probably likely not do, but his character definitely would! And he stuck to them! That's not easy! I mean I personally had trouble doing that when I was first starting out playing ttrpgs. It's hard to stick to a character choice when you know it's not the smart thing to do as the player. It’s hard to detach yourself from your personal motivations and fully immerse yourself in your character's, but he does it so well! He's absolutely underrated!

Ever since I realised that, I've been keeping a closer eye to Foolish recently and what he's saying, not saying, and subtly hinting...and maybe not so subtly hinting

Like the exchange between him and Cellbit yesterday

Like!!! I don’t know how every Foolish mains feel, but THIS MANS IS TRYING SO HARD TO CLUE CELLBIT IN THAT THEY’RE ON THE SAME TEAM, BUT!!! CELLBIT JUST DOESN'T GET IT!!! I'M SO!!!! RHRHEGRH

Like I get it from Cellbit perspective, because there was always the intention of taking down the Federation completely, there's that rage and anger and vengeance to destroy an establishment that's hurt you and countless others, but from the conversations Bad and Foolish were having before with aquariums and fish, Foolish seeks to reform the Federation from the inside and become the head of it even if he knows it's unlikely, but I find his steady climb to the top absolutely fascinating, and I'm excited!!! Because this ties in so well with what we've been getting about how federation workers ARE PEOPLE. They have feelings and families and friends and hopes and dreams and desires!!! Not that I'm saying that he's doing it for them, but! I just find his approach extremely interesting and just plays to those themes we've been getting really well.

His character motivations are so subtle because unless you let go of your perception of him being a silly goofy chaotic guy, and pull back what says and pick on what he doesn't say, or here where he's absolutely directly telling someone his deal, then you won't catch it what he's trying to tell you. He hides it so well that not even the Feds or Resistance or everyone else besides Bad and Jaiden know what to make of him.

For me, he's definitely playing to the character archetype of Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass and just!!!! Foolish is so good guys, I need to watch him and catch up on his streams, he has been COOKING for a while and I'm so ready for what else will happen to him going forward!!!

[absurdthirst]

Boyfriend for Hire {Ezra x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 21.1k

Warnings: Modern AU, escort work, technically prostitution, oral sex (female and male receiving), vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, masturbation, angst, miscommunication

Comments: When you are instructed to bring your boyfriend to the company New Year's party, you have a problem. He doesn't actually exist. Hiring Ezra, an escort who provides companionship for those who can afford it, turns into something far different than what you imagined.

A/N: Happy late New Year!!!!

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

Thank you @thewaythisis for finding the pic I wanted.

|| MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“I hope all of you have a wonderful holiday season with your families.” You stare down at your checklist for the end of year board meeting and halfway turn out, knowing you will be working through the holiday to get ahead on some projects that will be happening in the year to come. “That brings me to our New Year’s Eve party.” The CEO captures your attention and you look up as he smiles happily. “This year, I’ve decided to host a party for all of our execs and junior execs. I want all of you to be there.” He turns towards you. “We can finally meet this mysterious beau you keep talking about but we never see you bring to work functions.”

Panicking slightly but trying to remain calm, you shake your head. “Uh, we have plans for the New Year.” You protest, making him frown. 

“Unless you are out of town, which you’ve already said you will be here, I expect all of my employees there.” He decrees. Shit….now you have to pull a non-existent boyfriend out of thin air. 

Ezra looks away from his laptop when his phone begins to ring, his work phone. He takes off his glasses and sets them down before he pushes the green button to answer the call. “Hello?” He answers after clearing his throat. 

“Um, hello. Is this Ezra?” A woman asks and Ezra smiles at how nervous she sounds. 

“This is he.” He responds, tapping his fingers on his desk. 

“I, um, I got your number from a friend. I have a New Year party to attend and I need a man to go with me…to pretend to be my boyfriend.” 

Ezra bites his lip to smother his chuckle at that, “that’s my speciality, little bird. Shall we meet for a drink and see if I’m a good fit?” He suggests. 

“Ye-yes. That sounds good.” Ezra lets you pick the time and place and after telling you he will be there, he hangs up with a smirk. He has a job for New Year’s Eve. Perfect.

You fidget as you wait, choosing a high top table away from the rest of the bar, your drink in front of you medicinal to keep you from jumping out of your skin. You know what you are. What you are perceived as. A workaholic. A bitch boss who demanded too much of your team and only cared about your career. 

It was true, you were career focused and you didn’t think it was a bad thing. However, when everyone started asking about your personal life, because apparently separation of work and home life doesn’t exist anymore, you had lied. Made up what sounded like the perfect man, at least not anyone you had ever dated. Now you need to produce this wonderful person and you have no clue how to go about it without hiring someone. You’ve not been on a date in years and you don’t really want to. Men are always insecure when they realize you hold more power or make more money, or whatever seems to emasculate them. “Shit.” You hiss, lifting your drink to your lips with a slight tremble to your hand.

Ezra spots the red dress you said you’d be wearing and makes his way over to the table, adjusting his jacket as he confidently strides over to you. “You must be my date for the evening.” He offers you the most charming smile he can muster as he takes your hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. “Ezra, at your service.” He declares and takes a seat opposite you, admiring you for a moment. You’re beautiful, not the usual elderly woman he is escorting to boring social events. You’re gorgeous in fact and he smiles, knowing this won’t be a difficult date for him unless you are an absolute bitch.

You introduce yourself and then lean back as the waiter comes over to take Ezra’s drink order, giving you a moment to observe him. He’s elegant, far more than what you expected. None of the greasy appeal you had assumed you would have to deal with. His date casual outfit looked like it would belong at any high class country club, although the blonde streak in his otherwise russet hair is shocking in its charm. “Ma’am? Another?” You break away from looking at Ezra and stare down at your ice. 

“Please.” You murmur and wait for Ezra to speak as the man walks away to fulfill the drink orders.

“So…New Year’s Eve? A work shindig. Tell me little bird, what kind of man are you searching for to accompany you to the party? I am well versed in being whatever gentleman you require. You give me the details and I will play whatever part you desire.”

Twisting in your chair, you pull out your notebook, having written down everything you’ve told your colleagues about this fictitious boyfriend. Sighing as you open it and turn it around to hand to him. “This is what I’ve told them about my…lover.” Boyfriend seems so very juvenile to say and you swallow harshly, waiting for him to scoff at the unrealistic spin you’ve woven.

Ezra takes the notebooks, reading your bullet points and he bites his lip at the imaginative meeting between you and your “lover” until he reads what your beau enjoys, how he treats you. “Chérie, you might’ve discovered the most perfect man on the planet.” He jokes softly and you sigh, reaching for the notebook. 

“I know I embellished but I- I wanted you - him - to sound good.” 

Ezra pulls the book away from your reach, “I didn’t say it was impossible to create. I am a talented actor, I can assure you that this man will be attending your party with you. I can be this man but…I’m not cheap.”

It’s on the tip of your tongue to say that price doesn’t matter, but what kind of executive would you be if you gave away your negotiating power? “What would be your cost? Expenses? What would I be paying for?” You ask, tucking the notebook back into your large bag and looking over to see the waiter bringing the drinks back to your table.

Ezra smiles and thanks the waiter for the drinks, pausing the conversation, then he looks back at you while he lifts his drink. “Cheers, Chérie.” He smiles and clinks his glass against yours. “I’m not cheap. I am very discreet. I am good at what I do. I guarantee by the end of the night everyone will be convinced that I am in fact your lover. Three thousand. For the night.” He tells you his price, knowing it’s high but he’s good at what he does.

He is pricey, especially when you consider what the going rate for escorts is. You aren’t blind, you’ve seen the expense reports for some of your male counterparts, claiming it as ‘entertainment’. However, you aren’t looking for sex, you want a sophisticated man to be able to charm those around you and give a convincing performance. You take a sip of your drink, contemplating the idea. “Agreed, I will pay you half upfront and half at the end of the night. However, if you are not convincing, I will keep the other half.” 

Ezra smirks, liking your moxie, and he shifts to lean closer to you, “oh don’t you fret, little bird. You’re gonna be thrilled by the end of the night.” He lifts his glass towards you and takes a sip of his drink. Leaning back in his seat, he’s excited to spend the New Year with you. 

****

As part of the package, Ezra picks you up in the town car he hired for the evening. A friend of a friend has a company and he has a deal with them. A few hundred bucks isn’t much when he’s making thousands. He knocks on the door of your ridiculously posh apartment and waits for you to answer, adjusting his bow tie to ensure he looks suitable for your beau.

Putting in your earrings, you quickly walk to the door and open it. “I-“ stopping mid-sentence, you take in the polished suit and the way that his hair is even more carefully styled. “You look fantastic.” You murmur. “Let me get my purse and wrap.”

Ezra nods, hanging by your front door. He doesn’t want to intrude and he waits patiently for you to come into the hallway after you lock your front door. “You look exquisite, chérie. I will surely be the envy of every man in the room.” He reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips to kiss the back of it. “Shall we go? The car is waiting.” He extends his arm after letting go of your hand, excited to remember all the tidbits he’s been memorizing since your meeting a few days ago.

Nervous as you take his arm, you allow Ezra to walk you towards the elevators. “Have you memorized the key points?” You ask softly, the clicking of your shoes on the marble floors the only thing you can hear beyond your quiet conversation. “When we met, first date?”

“We met in that coffee shop over on Desmond Street. Brewsters. We bumped into each other during the morning rush and that was it. I took you to dinner at Le Mar and brought you roses. We kissed that night but nothing else. We’ve been dating for ten months. It’s been bliss. I took you to the fair and bought you that pretty bracelet you’re wearing for your birthday. I know your middle name. I know where you were born. I know the town you grew up in. Trust me, baby, I am a professional.” He pushes the button to call the car, turning to look at you. He reaches up to caress your face.

Suitably impressed, you wonder why your cheeks heat up when he touches your cheek. “You have a scar.” You just realize it, seeing the thin, silvery scar on the apple of his left cheek. “Where did you get it? In case anyone asks, of course.” You don’t mention that you think that it’s charming, giving him an almost roguish appearance that makes you think of old fashioned duals for honor with his syrupy accent.

Ezra chuckles softly, “serving this country. I was lucky that’s all I got. I nearly lost my arm. Was shot a few times but made it through. You should probably mention that I was an army man. Might win some of those bigwigs you associate with over. They always appreciate a man in uniform I’ve found.” He snorts, remembering the amount of times he’s seen lust in their eyes imagining him in a uniform while their wives stood beside them for appearances. You press the button for the ground floor and Ezra stands beside you after you drop his arm.

“Oh.” You murmur to him. “Sorry.” You don’t know what to say to that. Instead, the silence settles between you as your elevator car takes you down and you step out into the ground floor. You take a deep breath, wishing you could just stay on your couch in your leggings and work on reports while watching the New Year’s Eve program on TV and drink the wine you had bought and the nibble on the little charcuterie board you had ordered with your groceries on a whim.

Ezra shakes his head, stopping you walking for a moment. “Hush. You don’t have to be sorry. You didn’t send me to my death. Those bastards did. Let’s make this an amazing night for you.” He cups your cheek and leans in to softly peck your lips. “Come on chérie, let’s go impress your coworkers.” He winks and takes your hand to guide you to the town car.

“Thank you.” Ezra helps you into the car and slides in beside you as the driver closes the door. You are impressed that he went to the lengths that he has with ordering a car. You had half expected to have to order an Uber. “Where did you grow up?” You ask curiously. “Is your accent authentic or…dramatic?” 

Ezra smirks, “I’m not that good an actor. I’m from Louisiana. Born and raised until I joined the army and left for good. Moved here about five years ago after my - my incident. You like the accent? Or no?” He asks, watching you as the car pulls away from the curb towards the hotel your company picked out for the event.

“I like it.” You assure him, reaching over and patting his thigh before remembering yourself and pulling your hand back. 

“Don’t.” Ezra grabs your hand and pulls it back. “We would be comfortable touching each other, chérie.” He reminds you. “You have paid a lot of money to be with your ‘lover’ tonight.” 

You bite your lip, shyly looking away and clearing your throat. “You must think I am ridiculous, needing to hire you to pretend to be my lover.” You murmur. “I - I concentrate on work, not men.”

“That’s smart. Men fuck everything up. Men complicate things. You’re a smart girl, focusing on you and your work. The right man…he will come along eventually. I understand the pressure, the way people question you constantly. As a woman, you’re expected to settle down and marry, be with a man and have the American dream but not everyone is made for that. Some don’t want the man, some don’t want the kids, some don’t want the house. It’s 2022 for God’s sake, women should be able to do whatever they damn well want.” He says with conviction, “I’m - I mainly attend functions with older women whose husbands have passed.”

That catches your curiosity, wondering if he is some sort of a con man. Swindling sweet old ladies out of their money with sweet nothings and attention. “How did you decide to become an..an escort?” You lower your voice, not wanting to say it too loudly even though the window of the town car was up.

Ezra sighs, "um, it's a long story but the short version? I got out and back here I had physical therapy and therapy...lots of it. By the time I was healed, I couldn't find a job so I moved to the big city. When I got here, I got in touch with some friends who put me in touch with an older woman who wanted company - no sex just company - and from there, she referred me and so on. It pays well and no one cares about my résumé."

“Fascinating.” You truly mean that. It’s not like you are unaware of people paying for company, hell, you are doing it now. But his story on how he came to get into this is interesting. The things he must see and here while he’s providing entertainment are sure to be noteworthy. “Have you ever had disagreements with your clients?”

“Sometimes. Not everyone is a fit but as long as the terms are laid out, we don’t tend to have a lot of issues or complications. Communication is key so if you don’t like something, you need to tell me, chérie.” He orders softly, offering you an accompanying smile.

“I don’t understand why they wanted to do this on New Year’s Eve.” You huff even though you do know why. It’s an opportunity to get drunk and party, writing it off as a corporate expense. “I don’t like being out on nights like these.” You admit quietly, looking out the window at the crowded streets.

Ezra snorts, “I have always had a hatred for the new year. Another year wasted.” He sighs just as the car pulls up and he shifts to get out, holding his hand out for you to exit the car. He smiles at you, shifting into character as he prepares to face your coworkers and bosses.

Stepping out of the car, you’re nervous. All of this could be a disaster, what where you thinking? This was insane, you should have just told them you broke up with your mystery boyfriend but it’s too late now. Ezra’s hand is a lifeline and you cling to it, never really liking social functions. For work was fine, but you hate small talk and know that they will be judging you - and the man you brought.

Ezra squeezes your hand, noticing how stiff you have gone. “Relax, chérie. I’ll take care of you.” He promises, knowing it’s his job to take care of you but also, part of him wants to make sure this night goes well. You seem like a good woman despite your workaholic tendencies and he wants to ensure you impress your bosses. Walking into the ballroom, Ezra is impressed at the display and immediately a man approaches you, saying your name.

“Charles.” You smile warmly, reaching out to the CEO of the company as he stops in front of you. “You said to be here and here I am.” You chuckle and shake his hand, motioning to Ezra beside you. “And I have brought my significant other, as requested.” You introduce the two to one another quickly. 

Ezra extends his hand after letting go of you, shaking your boss’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you sir. My chérie has told me good things about you.” He offers a charming smile and Charles chuckles, “all good I hope?” He asks and Ezra nods, taking your hand in his again. “Of course. My lady works hard for your company. Workin’ all hours of the day and away from me.” He pouts playfully and leans in to kiss your cheek.

You hum, tilting your head as if it is a kiss you receive everyday rather than this being the first time. “Well, you know I love my job.” You smile and look back at Charles. “The party looks like a success, everyone is having fun.” Code for quickly getting smashed but it’s not sloppy yet.

Ezra lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around you, pulling you close. “Yes. Yes. You should go have fun. Ezra…it was a pleasure to meet you.” Charles smiles and Ezra nods back, “come on chérie, let’s go get a glass of champagne.” Ezra guides you to the bar, gesturing for the bartender. “I think that went well.” He murmurs, leaning close to you so it looks like he’s murmuring sweet nothings in your ear.

“Yes it did.” You look around the room, already ready to leave. Allowing Ezra to order for you, you are happily surprised when he orders a good vintage of champagne. If he is hanging around older, wealthy women, he would most likely have developed good taste and you appreciate it.

Ezra thanks the bartender and hands you the flute, lifting his own up. “To 2023.” He smiles, clinking his glass with yours. “I think it would be appropriate for me to kiss you…if you will allow it.” He adds, not wanting to overstep however, he can feel eyes on him and he wants to make a good impression.

You bite your lip for a brief second before you nod. You’d be lying to yourself if you hadn’t wondered if he was a good kisser. The little crease in his bottom lip very distracting and you’ve glanced at several times. “I think a moderate kiss would be appropriate right now.” You murmur, knowing you don’t want to cause a scene.

There’s a part of Ezra that wants to kiss you, the way your lips part and the small furrow in your brow has him ready to kiss you silly. He doesn’t kiss during his usual bookings, most of the women are older and don’t require that of him. He gently grips your chin with his free hand, leaning in and his eyes meet yours for a brief moment until he closes them to press a soft kiss to your lips.

It steals your breath. Making your eyes glitter and your hand reaches up to grip his shoulder. Nearly overwhelmed just from the petal soft feel of his lips against yours. It’s not demanding, but you yield anyway, the softest moan echoing in your throat.

Your moan makes Ezra deepen the kiss a little. Sliding his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment until he pulls back and kisses the corner of your mouth. “Well, isn’t this adorable?” Cynthia, one of your department managers comes over to see you. “This must be the beau you’ve mentioned before. Though we never caught his name.” She clicks her tongue and Ezra extends his hand after lowering it from your chin. 

“Ezra, pleasure to meet you.” He offers her a charming smile while keeping his posture aligned towards you.

You and Cynthia never really see eye to eye. She has some kind of grudge against you since you were promoted over her although she didn’t have the skill set for your job. “Cynthia.” You nod politely and smile. “Where is your husband? I’m sure Ezra would like to meet him.” Her husband is boorish, but you have to pretend to enjoy his company to play nicely. 

“Oh he has a work meeting. He’s been so busy.” She waves it off and Ezra frowns, “work meeting? It’s New Year’s Eve.” He takes a sip of his champagne and pulls you close with his free arm. “It’s a shame he left his beautiful wife to see in the New Year alone.” He tuts, “I would surely perish if I wasn’t able to kiss my beautiful girl at midnight.”

You fluster, slapping at his chest lightly as you feel the heat creep up your cheeks. “You always say the most outrageous things.” You tease, like he is always showering you with praise. Your perfect man would, even though he is a figment of your imagination brought to life by paying Ezra three thousand dollars.

Ezra grabs your hand, bringing it to his lips to press a soft kiss on your skin. “I merely speak the truth, mon chérie.” He coos, nudging his nose against your hairline. 

Cynthia narrows her eyes slightly, “I can’t believe we are finally meeting Ezra. I thought she had made you up. You seemed too good to be true.” 

She raises her eyebrows when Ezra shakes his head, “she’s focused on her work and we like to keep our private life just that. Private.”

You don’t like the tone of Cynthia’s voice, but you bite your lip and lean into Ezra’s side. “He is my little escape from work when I need it. So I keep him away from our office.” You don’t like the accusation in her comments, especially because they are true. 

Cynthia hums, “very well. We had better mingle. I know everyone is just dying to meet your Ezra. Come on, let’s go mingle.” She reaches for Ezra’s hand and he pulls away from her. 

“I’ll let my partner lead tonight. We will need another drink before we continue our exploration around the room. Pleasure to meet you Cynthia.” He says a little sharply and she huffs before striding off. “I can see why you decided to indulge in a fantasy boyfriend.” He murmurs in your ear then kisses your neck when he catches the eyes of your coworkers now speaking to Cynthia.

“She is very competitive.” You snort, closing your eyes slightly in pleasure. “I’ve never seemed to understand why, but she wants to prove that I wasn’t the right fit for the position. She wanted it. Or wants it.” You indulge yourself and lean in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for being here. I know you technically have to be, but thank you.”

Ezra wraps his arm around you and gestures for the bartender to order you another round. “I might have to be here but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” He tells you truthfully, “you are a beautiful, smart woman and you deserve a perfect New Year’s Eve. You deserve your coworkers to know you are dearly loved and adored. You should be. You’re a good woman.” He murmurs, caressing your waist.

It’s been a long time since you’ve felt such a strong attraction to someone. Your stomach clenches and you feel your pussy bottom out. “You are engaging and attractive, so I will take your words as the highest compliment.” You promise him, picking up your champagne glass when the bartender brings it and taking a small sip. You don’t like to get too drunk, but the bubbly is delicious.

Ezra grins, glad to hear that, and he looks over his shoulder as the band starts to play. He reaches for your glass, setting it down on the bar and he grabs your hand. “Let’s dance, chérie. I want to show you off to your coworkers.” He guides you onto the dance floor, pulling you close into his arms.

This is completely different than any other time you have been out with your coworkers. Often mandatory drinks where you have one and leave, or work dinners where the focus is work. This is an actual party. Letting yourself be pulled into his arms and smiling as the two of you start to move in time to the music.

Ezra has always prided himself on his dancing. His mother had taught him and after he came home injured, he promised himself that he’d learn to dance again. He promised his mom a dance before she died. Now, he’s swinging you around to the music, a smile on his face.

You know people are staring at you, but you don’t care. Too busy enjoying the moment and you let out a happy laugh when Ezra pushes you away to spin you around and pull you back close to him. “Wow.” You beam at him. “You are amazing.”

Ezra is pleased that you’re happy with him. “Not as amazing as you, mon chérie. Every man in this room wants to be me right now with how absolutely exquisite you look.” His hands slide lower, dangerously close to the curve of your ass. “Are you enjoying yourself?” He asks, leaning in to kiss your neck.

“I am.” You confess breathlessly, feeling like this is some kind of hazy dream. It would be a fantasy, and you are enjoying every minute of it. His hand flexes right above the swell of your ass and you wish he would just squeeze it, but you won’t beg for that. “Ezra…”

He knows what you want from him and he usually would never indulge in the physical affection his clients desire but you are different. His stomach twists with how beautiful you are - inside and out - and he obliges your wordless request, cupping your cheek to press his lips to yours.

The two of you dance in your own little world, your heart pounding as his tongue flicks against your lips and you let him in without a second's hesitation. Feeling like it is the most natural thing in the world, you have come to stop on the dance floor and you don’t even realize it.

People watch you and Ezra, some with mirth, some with surprise, quite a few with jealousy. Ezra keeps you close and only pulls back when the song ends, applause thundering in the ballroom and Ezra pecks your lips before he turns to clap his own hands. “The best dance I’ve had in a while.” He winks and takes your hand to guide you to a nearby table. “Are you hungry, chérie? You want some food?” He gestures to the buffet of hors d’oeuvres.

“We should, since we are drinking…” You hum, enjoying the warmth of his hand far more than you probably should. You know his rules, sex is off the table but right now that is all you can think about. Blaming it on the champagne, you look over to him. “Should we share a plate? Try a little of everything?”

Ezra nods, leaning down to kiss your forehead then he makes his way over to the buffet to grab a plate of food for you to share. He sits back down beside you, handing you some napkins. “Here you go, chérie. I can get more.” He tells you, winking at you as the band continues to play.

Picking up a spinach and cheese tart, you hold it out to Ezra to try. Surprising yourself because you are not trying to talk about work or slip away since you have been seen by the CEO. You are actually enjoying yourself. “Have a bite, sweetheart.” You coo playfully.

He eagerly leans forward, taking the bite and he can’t help but let his tongue touch your fingers before he chews. You are too delectable. Sexy and independent. Two qualities he greatly admires in a woman. He leans in to kiss your jaw after he finishes swallowing, “delicious.” He murmurs, pulling back to look at you.

Your lip is between your teeth and you wish that he would never stop. Food play has never been an ideal fantasy for you but now you want him to eat everything off your body.

“So this is your mystery boy toy?” Jackson, another department head, strides over. His posture is cocky as he looms over you and Ezra. “You gonna introduce me? I’m her work husband. She’s never mentioned you.” He wrinkles his nose at Ezra. Jackson has always wanted you, flirted with you, and now he’s not happy that you brought your mystery boyfriend to the party.

“Yes I have, you just haven’t listened.” You roll your eyes and look back at Ezra. “Ezra, this is Jackson. Jackson, Ezra.” You manage to make it appear that you are smiling but your teeth are clenched together in annoyance. “He is a colleague and not my work husband.”

“I shouldn’t be jealous, I know I’m a lucky bastard to have this exquisite creature as my lover. It’s, uh, interesting to make your acquaintance, Jackson. She’s never mentioned you. My name is Ezra. Lucky to belong to this exquisite woman you have the pleasure of spending your work days with.” Ezra reaches for your hand, kissing the back of it.

Jackson narrows his eyes, unhappy that the so-called boyfriend exists. He had been sure it was a figment of your imagination, no man was that perfect. Embarrassed that you would call him out about your work relationship, he presses on. “Don’t worry, Ethan, was it?” He purposefully says Ezra’s name wrong. “I take good care of her while she’s here. If I didn’t bring her lunch, she wouldn’t eat!”

Ezra frowns at that, looking over at you. “Is that true, amor? You don’t eat lunch? We shall have to rectify that. I shall be making you a lunch from now on.” He promises, not even looking back at Jackson. “And the name she moans in bed is Ezra, just so you know.”

Your cheeks flame hot but not because he’s embarrassed you, but because you are imagining doing just that - moaning his name in bed while he pounds into you. You have no idea what his dick size is but you can just tell he would be an attentive and exhausting lover. It makes you squirm slightly, needing friction and your suddenly dry mouth needs some more champagne.

Ezra watches you take a sip of champagne, your neck extended, and he bites his lip, deciding to take the chance. He leans in to kiss along your neck and you softly moan. His cock twitches in his pants and Jackson stands there for a moment until Ezra pulls away from you to look at him. “Are we keeping you from mingling?” He inquires and Jackson shakes his head, huffing before he stomps off. With a chuckle, Ezra kisses along your neck and down to your clavicle, “I must say, you smell simply divine, chérie.”

You whimper, shivering slightly at the feather light kisses along your skin. “I- wanted to- to seem like- like someone you would be with.” You admit breathlessly, aware of your reputation as dull. The sexy perfume was an indulgence beyond the clean scent you would wear into the office. Something that made you think of sex rather than work meetings.

Ezra hums, pulling back to look at you with a frown. “Why wouldn’t I be with someone like you?” He asks softly, hating the insecurities he finds swarming your eyes and he cups your cheek. “You’re a beautiful, smart, successful woman. You’re far too good for someone like me.”

You know that he is a companion, that you are paying him, but you also know that he has to be very intelligent in order to move in the circles that he does seamlessly. “I’m not.” You protest quietly, reminding yourself you had to pay him to pretend to be your lover. “I doubt you would be interested in someone like me. I am a workaholic.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being dedicated to your work but you need to take time for yourself. For your pleasures. Indulgences. You only live once, mon chérie. Don’t waste your life working.” He tells you just as the band announces the countdown to midnight. “Come on, let’s see in the new year in style.” He stands up and extends his hand to you.

When the clock strikes midnight, Ezra pulls you close and presses his lips to yours. Cupping your cheek with one hand and his arm around your waist, he slides his tongue into your mouth with a groan and kisses you at midnight. Putting his heart behind it as he wants you to feel special.

It’s just for the night, you know this. Still, you cling to him, letting the streamers and balloons with the confetti fall around you. Noise makers being blown and others exchanging kisses. Although all you think about is Ezra. Making you whimper when he finally pulls away after half a minute of kissing into the New Year.

He grins when he pulls back, “happy new year, chérie.” He kisses your nose and pulls you close again, marveling at the display of balloons and confetti as the band begins to play “Auld Lang Syne.” He doesn’t ever break his rule of not sleeping with his client but you, pressed against him, feel marvelous and he leans down to kiss you again. This kiss is dirtier, sloppier, as he tries to wordlessly portray what he wants.

It shifts - this feeling between you. The spark ignites and you would be lying if you said you did not want him. Your own arms around him tighten and you press yourself against him shamelessly. If it wasn’t so rude, you would drag him out of here. Only when he pulls away to gulp down air do you dare voice it. “Should we leave?” You ask breathlessly. “Go back to mine?”

Ezra hesitates for a second, knowing he shouldn’t be doing this but he desperately wants you. He wants to make you moan his name, he wants to pull you apart piece by piece. “Let’s go.” He rasps, “do you have to say goodbye to anyone?” He asks, sliding his hand down to squeeze your ass.

You know none of them will miss you, you shake your head and whimper when he squeezes again. “Let- where is your driver?” You demand, ready to say fuck it and drag him to a bathroom. You don’t care right now.

Ezra nods, taking your hand after reluctantly letting you go, and he guides you to the exit. Practically dragging you through the hotel to the car he has waiting for you. He opens your door and helps you in before he gets in after you and slams the door. “Chérie, you are -” He surges forward to press his lips to yours, a rare display of speechlessness from Ezra.

This time the kiss is even more desperate, consuming. You moan louder now that you are in the safety of a vehicle and away from the prying eyes of your coworkers. Not worrying about what they will say about you. Instead you let your hands wander over Ezra’s suit, sliding under his jacket to the warmth underneath.

Ezra groans your name against your lips as your hands slide up his chest but when you touch his shoulder, he pulls back. “Sorry!” You rush out, wondering what you’ve done wrong and Ezra shifts away from you. 

“It’s okay, chérie. Just - gimme a moment.” He rasps, shifting a inch away from you as he tries to catch his breath and compose himself. He turns his head to look at you, an easy smile now on his face and he leans in to kiss along your neck.

You want to push away, something not being right about the way he reacted but you can’t make yourself. You will ask later. Ezra kisses at your pulse, his tongue pressing against it and making you groan. “Ezra….” You whisper breathlessly, your fingers sinking into his hair and your movement guides him to kiss down your chest into your cleavage.

He licks along your cleavage, dipping his tongue below the material of your dress and the car comes to a stop, the driver clearing his throat. He pecks your lips and shifts to get out of the car, adjusting himself before he offers you a hand. After paying the driver, he shuts the door and wraps his arm around your waist. “Come on, chérie. It’s a new year. Let’s celebrate it in style.” He kisses your cheek while you grab your keys for your building.

There are several other couples making their way back to their units, spirits high. You and Ezra cling to one another in the elevator and giggle with other drunken couples. Only pulling away from each other when the car stops on your floor and you pull him out into the hallway. “Happy New Year!” You call back to the other two couples still on the elevator as the doors close.

Ezra is eager as you struggle to unlock your door, his hands caressing your waist and his lips kissing along the nape of your neck. You pant and struggle to open the door so he takes the keys, swiftly opening the door to your apartment and he pushes it open, letting you lead.

Normally you don’t throw things around, keeping everything in its place so you can know where it’s at, but right now all you want is him. Tossing your keys, clutch and wrap to the floor, you swing around and press your lips to Ezra’s the moment he steps inside your apartment as you back him up against the door and close it.

He loves how eager you are and he feels the same way. His hands trying to touch every inch of you he can reach. He groans into your mouth when you start to push his shirt off of his shoulders and he’s grateful he remembered to wear a t-shirt underneath. His hands squeeze your ass and he tentatively reaches for the zipper of your dress, not wanting to overstep so he waits for your reaction before he continues, pulling the zipper down.

Biting your lip, you nod. Eternally grateful that you have worn something sexy underneath the dress. You didn’t wear it for Ezra, you wear things that make you feel good. Especially when it clashes with proper business attire during the week. This is merely a coincidence that you have lace and sheer material under your dress. Letting him peel your dress down to reveal your body to him, you wait for his reaction.

Ezra swallows harshly when he sees what you are wearing. “Oh chérie. You are - you are the most exquisite creature I’ve ever had the honor of laying eyes on.” He coos, almost scared to touch you in case you disappear. He finally summons the courage and pulls you into his arms, his lips pressing against yours while his hands explore the newly exposed skin.

His hands feel like hot silk on your skin, caressing you and seemingly bringing you to life. This time your tongue flicks against the seam of his lips to beg entrance. Making you huff happily when he groans and opens to let you in. Your own hands move down to his belt buckle, ripping at it hastily.

Ezra groans, flicking open the lace bra and he pulls back so he can tug the straps down your arms, flinging the lingerie aside and he ducks down to take a nipple into his mouth, groaning against your warm flesh as he works the sensitive bud between his teeth.

“Ezraaaa!” You cry out, eyes widening before they close. You manage to get his belt open and then the suit pants. Shoving your hand down to wrap around a thick cock over his underwear, you moan sinfully when he twitches in your hand. “I- fuck, oh my god.” You whimper, imagining him inside you.

He hisses around your breast when you squeeze him and he swears he could cum then and there. “Fuck.” He curses as he switches to your other breast, his hands hooking in your panties and he pushes them down to your ankles. He pulls back and away from your grip, his breath hitching at how utterly devastating you are and he kneels, kissing your stomach as he lifts your leg onto his shoulder.

Your eyes widen when you realize what he is about to do. Unable to comment before he is nuzzling into your thigh, inhaling your scent right before his tongue swipes across your cunt with enough skill to make you cry out.

He is tentative, not in a hurry, but as soon as your tangy arousal hits his tongue, he’s ravenous. He growls, diving in to slide his tongue through your folds, flicking your clit and his hands grab your ass to pull you close.

Your knee threatens to buckle, but you stay upright. Looking down at the sharp curve of his nose as it presses into your mound. “Of fuck, shit Ezra-it’s-its been so long since someone’s done this.” You admit breathlessly.

He pulls back for just a moment so he can look at you. “A travesty, mon chérie. You should have this gorgeous pussy sucked and licked often.” He tuts and dives back in, doing just that and revealing in your cries.

The sounds you make are filthy, and loud. You know people passing by can hear and you don’t care. All you can think about is the way the tension in your belly is pulling tight and you’re going to cum. “Ezra, Ezra, Ezra!” You cry out, body trembling when you fall apart.

He keeps you upright, pushed against him, and he works you through it with lazy strokes of his tongue. He loves how he’s already pulled you apart and he kisses your clit for a moment until he offers you a lazy smirk, looking up into your hazy eyes.

“Oh my god.” Your entire body seems to melt under the pleasure of your orgasm. Panting as you look down at him and wonder how the fuck he’s going to top that. “I- wow.” You manage, a goofy grin on your face. “I don’t know if you can top that.”

Ezra smiles, “I can have a damn good attempt at it, chérie.” He stands, licking his lips and he kicks off his dress shoes and reaches for his pants, pushing them down along with his boxers. He shrugs off the dress shirt and you reach for the hem of his long sleeved t-shirt. “I, uh, that stays. I don’t want to take it off.”

Your brow furrows in confusion as you look up at him, but his eyes have almost a pleading expression so you nod. “Okay, no problem.” You wonder if he has some scar that bothers him, it would make sense. Instead of making it a big deal, you turn and walk towards your bedroom, looking over your shoulder. “Come Ezra.” You order playfully.

Ezra exhales softly in relief and lets you guide him into your bedroom. It’s sophisticated and warm and he only gets a second to admire it before you are pushing him onto the mattress. “You’re eager, baby doll.” He chuckles, caressing your waist when you straddle his thigh and his hands slide up to squeeze your tits.

For a moment, your own insecurities rear their ugly head and you wonder if you seem desperate. Not that Ezra lets you think of that, or anything for long with his hands on you. Instead of pulling back, you lean forward and bite his bottom lip. “I am eager.” You confess. “I want to feel you inside me.”

“Condom?” He rasps against your lip, his hands sliding down even more to squeeze your ass and rock you on his thigh. His cock is throbbing. It’s been a while since he’s had sex and even longer since he got to touch someone so utterly beautiful. His usual clients are older women who try to get him in their beds but he won’t sleep with them, no matter how much money they offer. He wants sex to be natural, something he desires, not just based on money. He loves the way you moan his name. “Condom, baby doll.” He repeats, needing to be inside of you.

“I- shit…” Your clit is grinding against his skin and it feels amazing. “I- I think they - I have some in the drawer.” You aren’t sure, it’s been so long and it’s on the tip of your tongue to tell him that you don’t need it, but you are strangers. No matter how natural and easy this seems, it wouldn’t be smart to sleep with him unprotected.

Ezra manages to reach into your nightstand, searching around for the condoms while his eyes watch you grind on his thigh, feeling how slick you are. “Jesus fucking Christ.” He growls, growing impatient but he manages to find a condom, ripping into it and handing it to you. “Put it on me, chérie and use my cock for your pleasure. I want to feel you cum, see you fall apart.” He orders, squeezing your hips when you take the condom from him.

Your hands shake as you roll the condom down his impressive length. Nearly leaning forward so you could take him into your mouth, but you stop yourself. Knowing that the two of you are too worked up for teasing. Once on, you are quickly moving over him, straddling his waist and lining him up to sink down on his cock far faster than what is probably necessary but you love the stretch of him.

“Fu-” Ezra’s words die on his tongue as you envelop him in your hot, tight cunt. His jaw clenches as you sink down onto him and he caresses your hips while his eyes threaten to close. “My - my God, chérie. You are - so delectable.”

Your own moan claws out of your throat while you circle your hips and press him deeper. “So good, Ezra.” You whine. “You feel so good.”

Ezra looks up at you, reaching up to grab your neck and drag you down towards his mouth so he can kiss you. He slides his tongue into your mouth and groans when you start to move, rocking on his cock. “Feel so good, chérie. So tight.” He murmurs, caressing your side until he can squeeze your ass.

It’s unusual, bracing your hands on his chest and feeling his shirt rather than skin, but you don’t let it stop you. “Been a-a long time.” You pant, starting to bounce on his cock a little faster and feeling a little rush of arousal to make it even slicker.

“Me too.” He confesses, watching you and he caresses your arms up to your shoulders as you bounce on his cock. He’s desperate to see you cum again but he can be patient. He grabs your ass, spreading your cheeks before he brings his hands down to smack them.

You squeal, rocking forward and clenching around him. “Fuck!” The sting of his hand feels amazing and you are immediately rocking back onto his cock even harder. “Again, more- fuck, please.” You beg, biting your lip as he twitches inside you and presses against something wonderful.

He repeats the action, loving your squeal of pleasure, and he loves your begging. Wanting to hear more, he grabs your hips and manages to flip you over onto your back without slipping out of you. He doesn’t waste a beat, pushing into you with a deep groan, he starts to fuck you.

Pulling your knees back, you gasp out his name. Loving how deep he surges into you with the harsh and steady slap of his hips. Rougher, just like you imagined. It’s thrilling to have a man who is polished outside the bedroom who knows how to fuck. Instead of touching his shoulders since he had tensed up, you grip his sides and moan.

He grabs your thigh, pushing it back against your stomach and he sinks even deeper, drawing moans from you both. “Fuck, chérie. You - you feel divine.” He moans and leans in to kiss along your neck. “Are you going to cum for me?” He murmurs against your flesh and he licks up to your jaw, biting as he steadily thrusts into you, adjusting the angle every other thrust until - “oh shit!” You squeal and he smirks against your skin. “There it is. That’s the stuff. Cum for me baby doll.”

It’s not hard to give into his demands. The hard pace coupled with the intensity of his focus on the angle that had made you squeal nearly makes your back arch up off the bed. “Ezra- gon- gonna c-cuuuuuuum!” You cry out, your entire body stiffening when your cunt clamps down around him and soaks his cock in your juices.

Seeing and feeling you cum around him has him groaning out your name, loud and wrecked as he thrusts into you. It’s true what he said, it’s been a while and he’s not sure if he’s going to last. “Fuck baby. I- I’m gonna - shit. Shitttt.” He hisses, barely managing to thrust a few more times before he cums, spilling harmlessly into the condom.

Panting, you nearly forget yourself and grab his shoulders but you manage to catch yourself. Lunging up, you press your forehead against his and kiss his lips for a long moment while he rides out his high. Collapsing back into the bed with a satisfied sigh.

Ezra grunts, closing his eyes as he revels in his high until he has to pull out. Gripping the condom, he pulls out of you and ties it off, tossing it onto the nightstand and he grabs you to pull you against his chest. “That was…absolutely indescribable.”

You relax against him, making sure you don’t touch his shoulder and smile. “Yes it was. Best way to ring in a new year.” You laugh and are shocked at how good you feel. You didn’t want to go work, or boot up your laptop. You wanted to stay right here. With Ezra. “It was wonderful.”

Ezra kisses your head, "I'm glad you enjoyed it." He is sad to leave you tonight. The first time he's truly enjoyed the company of one of his clients and he knows his next client will pale in comparison to you. He sighs, shifting away from you. He knows you'll want him to go and he feels dirty to think about the remainder of the money but his rent is due today. He needs it.

There’s a shift and you are sad to feel it. Now that you are both satisfied, it’s time to remind yourself that this was a business transaction. The sex hopefully wasn’t a part of it, but you owe him the money you promised. “Let me-“ you slide out of the bed and reach for your robe. “I’ll get the rest of what I owe you.” You turn and rush out of the room, wondering if he had slept with you because he wanted to, or to make sure he was paid the full amount. Picking up your clutch off the floor, you open it to pull out the small envelope with fifteen hundred dollars in one hundred dollar bills in it. Sensing that he would prefer payment in cash rather than risk a check.

Ezra is behind you, grabbing his pants and shoes to redress while you gather the rest of the money. He feels dirty. He has never had sex with a client before and right now, he feels like he’s being paid for fucking you even though he wanted you, not for the money, but because he likes you. He is tying his shoes when you hold out the cash for him, standing there in your rope with your hair a mess and mascara smudged. You look like a fucking angel that he has dragged down into his hell. “Thank you chérie. I- I had a wonderful time. I hope you are satisfied?” He asks once he stands up, shoving the cash into his pants pocket.

“More than I ever expected to be.” You admit with a smile. It’s slightly awkward and you wish you knew what to say, but you aren’t smooth with things like this. “Thank you Ezra, for tonight. I know that we went beyond some of your boundaries, but I- I really had a great time with you.” You want to lean in and kiss him, but you don’t want to push.

Ezra smiles, reaching out to cup your cheek. “Me too. I had a great time. Best new year I’ve had in a while.” He admits and unable to resist, he leans in to kiss you softly one last time. “Thank you chérie. Happy New Year.” He grabs his jacket and tie from the floor and walks towards your front door, looking back at you one last time before he leaves.

****

It’s been two weeks since you’ve seen Ezra. You tap his card that you have on your desk, contemplating your next move. It’s been a distraction you don’t need but you can’t get him out of your mind. Popping up while you are working and especially when you are in bed alone, your hand or vibrator between your thighs. Sighing to yourself, you pick up your phone and select his contact information and hit call.

Ezra frowns when he sees your name come up on his phone. He keeps all his clients in his cell phone and his stomach twists as he picks up the phone and hits answer. “Chérie, my dear, how are you?” He answers, leaning back against his seat with a soft smile.

“Ezra.” Your stomach flips and flutters at the sound of his voice. You wonder if he’s thought about you at all. You hope he has. “I was wondering if you had a free evening this week?” You murmur softly, feeling unsure of yourself now. “For a- a dinner.”

He opens his agenda, searching the week. He has a couple of events with his older clients but he has a free night on Thursday. “I am free on Thursday night. I, uh, won’t charge as much for a dinner.” He says, unsure if he needs to keep this professional despite the way his heart is thumping in his chest.

Of course he wants payment. Your heart clenches, the hope that he had felt something during your time together dying. You’re a practical woman and try to see it as having a need met. Men did it all the time, why shouldn’t you. “Thursday will be fine.” Your voice is stronger this time. “Let me know your rate and where to meet you.”

“One thousand. I’ll text you the restaurant. I know a great bistro. Private and delicious. See you soon, chérie.” He murmurs before he hangs up. Hating how he is taking your money when he enjoys your company so much but he has to keep up appearances. He needs to be professional and practical.

One thousand dollars. It’s a lot, but you want to see Ezra again. You know you shouldn’t do this, but you never felt as good as you did when you were with him and you crave that feeling again. Opening your calendar, you make sure to block out that night as unavailable. You will be busy having dinner with Ezra.

****

Ezra adjusts his tie as he waits for you to arrive. You told him you’d meet him at the bistro and he stands when you walk in, looking absolutely gorgeous in a black silk shirt and jeans. “Chérie, you look absolutely delectable. I doubt I will need dessert from this bistro if I get to have you.” He murmurs, kissing your lips softly before he pulls the chair out for you.

You fluster at the compliment, unable to stop yourself from melting into his arms. The kiss was too brief and you sat as he pushed your chair in. “That would be up to you.” You promise, staring at his gorgeous form as he sits down before you put your napkin in your lap. The bistro is intimate and you wonder which one of his clients brings him here. “How have you been?”

Ezra shrugs, “not too busy. I’ve mainly been working on my manuscript. I’ve been working on a play. A re-enactment of my time during the war and how my life went to it. My therapist got me started on it, said that writing things down is healthy and it snowballed from there. You? I’m sure you’ve been busy with the new quarter.” He offers you a soft smile and reaches for your hand to squeeze it.

“It’s been busy.” You nod but you want to focus on his comment. “A manuscript? Ezra that’s- I’m sure it’s amazing.” Your skin tingles where his hand is touching you and you swear that your heart skipped a beat. “Have you been writing for long? I feel like you would be amazing at it.”

Ezra bites his lip and shrugs, “I, uh, I’ve been writing it on and off for months. Pausing when I can’t figure out the next step and resuming when it comes to me.” He caresses the back of your hand with his thumb, “I haven’t - I don’t have any backers and no one has read it yet so it could be utterly shit.”

“I doubt that.” You assure him. “You are far too eloquently spoken and a story weaver for that to be true.” You want to offer to help him but you aren’t sure if he would take offense. “You could always test a chapter, see how it’s received?”

Ezra sighs, “I don’t have the contacts. Actually, there’s this client whose husband is a publisher but she can hardly ask on my behalf.” He shakes his head, knowing the husband turns a blind eye to her evenings with Ezra going to events he doesn’t want to go to. “Perhaps…you would read it? See if you like it?”

“Of course.” You immediately nod, eager to read his writing and offer any suggestions you can. “You can send me whatever you would like me to read and I’ll give you my honest opinion.” It does sting to learn that he accompanies married women but it is none of your business.

The smile he offers you is sincere and wide and he squeezes your hand before he brings it to his lips to kiss the back of the. The waiter comes over and Ezra orders a bottle of red wine, “and two of the special.” Ezra orders, turning to look at you. “You gotta try this cheese soufflé. You’re not allergic are you?” He asks, silently cursing himself for getting ahead. He doesn’t know if you are lactose intolerant or vegan or have other requirements.

“Oh that sounds delicious.” You moan, your stomach agreeing with you by giving a particularly loud rumble of hunger. Wincing, you are thankful the waiter has already walked away and didn’t hear it. “Sorry, I haven’t eaten since…” you actually don’t remember when you’ve eaten last, you had gotten roped into a work meeting at lunch and hadn’t been able to get something.

Ezra frowns, “you haven’t eaten today?” He asks and you shake your head. He tuts, “that simply will not do. You must eat, I insist on it. You must prioritize yourself, chérie.” His tone is low but intense as his dark eyes focus on you.

“I forget at times.” You admit. “Or I drink enough coffee that I’m not hungry.” Your life is caffeine, perhaps too much of it.  You smile softly. “I do need someone to bring me lunch, I guess.” You joke, reminding him of his promise in front of Jackson.

Shaking his head, Ezra tuts, “I’ll come to your office and take you for lunch. Show that smarmy prick that you are treated right and I’ll make sure you get some lunch.” He remembers that he will have to charge but part of him doesn’t want to do that. He wants to spend time with you, find out more about you.

“No, you don’t have to do that.” You promise, knowing that it’s not his responsibility to take care of you. This is all pretend. “I will start having meals delivered to the office regularly and just have them say it’s from you. So no one suspects.” Why you didn’t think of it before, you don’t know. “I know you are a busy man.”

Ezra chuckles softly as the waiter comes over to open the bottle of wine. “I’m not that busy. Not too busy for you.” He says without truly thinking about it. He lets go of your hand and tastes the wine, nodding and thanking the waiter after he pours two glasses. “To us.” He toasts, a soft smile on his face as he looks at you.

“To us.” You murmur softly, wondering what he means by that as you take a sip of the wine. It’s delicious and you smile as you take another sip. “You seemed surprised to hear from me when I called.” You set your glass down and decide to be straightforward. “Did you not expect to?”

“I figured I’d had my use. Planted the seed about your boyfriend and you’d make the excuse that I work a lot, I’m away on business until you eventually reveal that I was too clingy and wanted too much from you - wanted you to cut back on work - so you broke up with me. You are sad but composed and me? I’m a wreck. You tell them I’m calling you over and over again to beg you to get back together but your job is more important. Impresses your bosses, confirms that you’re wanted and maybe, you’ll meet someone at work who can fulfill all your needs. This ain’t my first rodeo, chérie. I know how it goes.” He tells you. 

You snort, impressed with his genius and shake your head. “No office romances for me.” You tell him firmly. “I’ve seen too many of them go up in flames where  someone has to leave. No, I would prefer to have a lover outside of my profession. Even a competitor with another company  is not for me.”

Ezra hums and nods, understanding more about you. You are a strong, independent, smart woman and he loves it. “I can understand that.” He nods and leans back as the soufflés are placed on the table.

You send the waiter a smile of thanks and groan at the incredible smell. “Ezra, it smells delicious.” You are nearly drooling as you pick up your fork. “Thank you for having dinner with me. I- this is better than eating alone in my apartment while I work.”

“Chérie, It’s always a pleasure to spend time with you. Never, ever think that I don’t want to spend time with you. You’re - you’re so beautiful and smart. I just can’t believe you don’t have a man to spoil you.” He doesn’t say that because you’re paying him but it’s the truth. Deep down though, he’d be here regardless of the money.

“No one would want to put up with my work schedule.” You scoff, remembering how it was frowned on that you worked the way you did. “Men put in hours and they are praised for focusing on their careers, being a real go-getter. Women do it and it's unbecoming.” You roll your eyes and bring a piece of the soufflé to your lips. “Oh my god.” You groan happily at the taste, closing your eyes at how perfect it is. “This is delicious.” 

“Unfortunately some people still think women should be in the home.” Ezra rolls his eyes, “Neanderthals…every single one of them. I don’t subscribe to that archaic mentality. Women like you…they are capable, strong, independent. You pick a man based on how you feel about him, not based on what he can provide and that scares men. To have a woman not dependent on them? You have to be a strong character to enjoy a woman like you.” He winks and takes a bite of his own soufflé, a groan escaping his lips.

“Are you a strong character?” You ask flirtatiously, enjoying his outlook. “Why am I asking? Of course you are. You deal with women of all ages, some of them more independent than I am.” You hum, reaching for your wine again. “I am sure you have stories to tell. After your first book, you should write those stories down. Names changed for privacy, of course.”

With a chuckle, Ezra sets his fork down and nods, “oh there’s been some tales. Some women…they had lovers who they wished to make jealous. Some had occasions that I simply wasn’t prepared for…like a funeral as they didn’t tell me the event, just that it was a family function. Some wanted more from me than I was prepared to give.” He frowns at that one, remembering the way the woman groped him and offered far more money than they agreed. He doesn’t have sex with his clients…well didn’t…until you came along.

“Oh…..” you wonder if he counts you among those women now. You had assumed that he had wanted to sleep with you, but you had never heard anything from him and the only way you could spend time with him is if you paid him. “I’m sorry that you had bad experiences. You aren’t a piece of meat to be bought and treated how they want.” You offer, feeling slightly ashamed of the way you had practically begged him to fuck you.

“It’s nothing compared to what female escorts go through. Women don’t get nasty, they don’t threaten me or force me. I am lucky. I - I only have sex when I want sex and you…you’re the only client I’ve ever had sex with.” He reveals softly, his eyes flicking around the restaurant before they settle back on you.

“Ezra….” You reach out and touch his hand gently. “That night- I didn’t expect to sleep with you because I paid for your time.” You promise him quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear. “I wanted to be with you and it was amazing. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about someone everyday and replay something like I have with that night,”

Ezra inhales with a soft chuckle, squeezing your hand. “Baby doll, I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the moment I left your apartment building. You are funny, intelligent, and devastatingly gorgeous. I- I want to spend more time with you.” He says and brings your hand to his mouth to press a kiss on the back of it.

Biting your lip, your stomach flips pleasantly. “I- I want to spend more time with you too.” You confess, smiling at him. “I broke down and called you because I couldn’t stay away.”

“I’m glad you called. I- I want to spend more time with you. It’s just - my rate-” He knows he should tell you he will be with you for free, he wants that, but he also will be sacrificing time he could be earning money from his other clients. 

“I can pay.” You rush out, knowing you’ll spend whatever it takes to feel like this again and again. 

Ezra bites his lip, knowing he shouldn’t do this but he wants you, “I can do a reduced rate so - so it’s not as expensive.”

“What would you think?” You ask him, feeling a negotiation coming on and you like that. It wouldn’t be fair to just demand his time for free and yet you know you don’t want to pay expensive rates every time you want to see him. Especially if it’s how you want to be spending time with him. “I think that it might be fair to say we might sleep together again, and I don’t want you to feel that I expect it - but there is chemistry between us…”

Ezra grins, nodding in agreement, “I feel it too. Rest assured, I feel this - this spark of chemistry between you and I, baby doll. What about…$500 a date? Nothing extra if we should happen to fall in bed.” He suggests, feeling dirty to take your money but he needs to survive.

You purse your lips and tilt your head towards him. “I was thinking $300 a date and I will pay for any dinners or activities.” You counter with a small smirk on your face.

He raises his eyebrows, cock twitching in his pants at the look in your eyes and he nods slowly. “$300? That’s a deal.” He reaches for your hand once more to shake it and he kisses the back of your hand. “I look forward to many more nights in your company, mon chérie.”

You make a little noise of pleasure, sure that your time together will result in you falling into bed together often. “I must confess something.” You slide your hand out of his delicately and pick up your wine again. “I want for you to come home with me tonight and let me pleasure you the same way you pleasured me last time.”

He can't stop the smirk on his face as you offer to pleasure him. "It is I who should be offering to pleasure you. You were...exquisite. I want to bury my face between your thighs and remain there until my dying day." He confesses, licking his lips as he remembers how you moaned his name.

You try not to take that to heart, knowing he is flattering you. Perhaps not like a paying client, that would be vulgar. More like a new romance. “Then I suggest you finish your dinner.” You tease, taking a sip of your wine and then picking up your fork. “I want to have you for dessert.”

Ezra dramatically picks up his fork, shoveling the food into his mouth and he downs the rest of the wine then he calls the waiter over. "Can you cork the wine and get us the check? My lady wants dessert at home." He winks at you and leans back in his seat.

You giggle quietly at how eager he is, knowing you’ve already soaked your own panties underneath your dress. Finishing your own dinner before you reach for your purse. “No, I will pay for tonight.” Ezra insists, making you pause, but you give in when he shoots you a serious look.

"I want to pay." He tells you, knowing he will feel guilty if you suck his cock tonight and he couldn't pay for dinner. He may be an escort but he's a gentleman first and foremost. He hands the waiter his card and signs the check when the waiter comes back over. "Are you ready to leave, chérie?"

“Absolutely.” You take his proffered arm when the two of you stand. It feels like you are a real couple, walking out after a fantastic meal to go home together. “Did you drive, or…?” You had taken an Uber, wanting to be able to drink if you wanted with no issue.”

"I took an Uber. I can't - I don't have a car." He admits and he bites his lip as he pulls out his phone to summon an Uber to take you both to your apartment. He wraps his arm around your waist while you wait for the car, leaning in to kiss your neck as you stand on the sidewalk.

Closing your eyes, you lean into him. “Ezra…” you murmur, feeling that pool of arousal in your core already. “Do you-“ You break off, hesitant to push but then you decide to ask. “Would you like to stay the night? Rather than going home? Or is that too much?”

Ezra bites his lip and looks at you, “I, um, I would like that. It’s not too much.” He assures you and leans in to kiss your neck, “I would surely be remiss to deny myself an opportunity to remain in your bed after our carnal pursuits.”

The Uber pulls up and you excitedly jump in, eager to get back to your apartment with Ezra. “I- god I wish we were already back there.” You whisper in his ear. “I have been thinking about you all week but my fingers haven’t been enough.”

“I’ve been thinking about you too.” He promises, his hand on your knee sliding a little higher as the Uber drives towards your apartment building. “Been jerking off thinking about that exquisite pussy.” He whispers in your ear before he nips it with his teeth.

Shuddering, you let out a tiny moan, shifting your knees apart so he can move his hand a little higher. “Should have called me.” You pant. “I would have told you to come over. Jerk off on me.”

Ezra smirks, taking the hint, and he slides his hand higher until he is pressing against your clit through your jeans. Your responding whimper has him aching in his pants and he wishes he could finger you in this Uber but he’ll receive a bad rating. “You’re a naughty girl, baby doll. Would you have licked up my seed if I’d asked you?”

Blowing out a harsh breath, all you can do is nod, making a small sound of need. You could imagine it, on your knees in front of him while he is jerking his cock and telling you to open your mouth before covering your skin in his seed.

The Uber driver hears whispers and looks back to see Ezra has his hand between your legs. With a snort, he speeds up a little, certain that you want to be out of his car as much as he wants you out before you start to get frisky. 

Ezra chuckles at your squeak, his fingers rubbing you through the denim until the car pulls up outside of your building. “Thank you kindly.” Ezra says, withdrawing his hand and reaching into his wallet to hand a tip to the driver for your PDA. Once you’re on the sidewalk, Ezra wraps his arm around your waist to guide you towards the entrance, now desperate to feel you naked and beneath him.

This time the elevator ride is more tense, both of you not letting go of one another but there are others in the car. Making you nearly sigh in relief when the doors open to your floor. You smirk when the elevator closes again and rush towards your apartment, eager to have him inside you again.

Ezra reluctantly lets go of you so you can unlock your front door but he grabs your hips, kissing the back of your neck. “Hurry up, chérie. I want you to strip down and wrap those pretty lips around my cock.” His hands slide down to squeeze your ass and your hands shake until you finally get the door open.

Again, you are dumping everything and turning around to reach for him. Desperate to feel him. You feel him unbuttoning your shirt and push back so you can quickly strip down to your bare skin. Eager to get on your knees for him and watch him fall apart right against the door of your apartment.

Ezra groans at the skin you bare and his hands are immediately reaching for your bra. Last time was hesitant and new, now he’s hungry for you. His hands reach for your tits after you let him pull your bra down your arms and he pinches your nipple, wanting to be a little rougher.

“Fuck.” Your head rolls back and your chest pushes itself into his hands, loving how he’s being more aggressive. Still wearing your panties, you start to sink down to your knees but Ezra catches your arm, shaking his head. “No, chérie, I want your pussy to leak onto your floors.” He growls, making your cunt clench and you hastily follow his orders to remove your underwear before you kneel down in front of him,

He watches you as you kneel down and reach for his belt, expertly unbuckling it and he groans when you pull his throbbing cock out of his pants. “Fuck chérie.” He hisses which turns into a low moan when you take him into your mouth. “Shit.” He curses, eyes fluttering but he refuses to close them as he looks down at you.

You can feel him react. His cock throbbing in your mouth and you love it. Taking him deeper until he hits the back of your throat. It’s going to be hard to take all of him, so you wrap your fingers around the base to start pumping while you get used to his girth.

“Fuck. Oh Jesus Christ. Chérie, your mouth- it’s heaven on earth.” He compliments breathlessly, trying to keep his hips still so he doesn’t choke you but fuck, it’s hard to not want more. You whimper and he caresses your cheek.

Humming around him, you already have spit sliding down your jaw and your eyes are watering but you don’t care. All you want is to see the wrecked look on his face. You hollow your cheek and press deeper, swallowing when you feel you are going to gag.

“Fuck baby.” He leans over slightly so he can squeeze your tit and he closes his eyes when you take him deeper. “Oh shit. I’m gonna - you’re gonna make me- you want - face? Mouth?” He pants out, not wanting to cum down your throat unless you want it. It’s been too long since someone sucked his cock.

You pull off for him for a split second. “Down my throat.” You gasp, taking him back into your mouth and looking up at him through your watery eyes. Letting go of the base of his cock, you grab his hips and pull him towards you, encouraging him to let go and use you.

Ezra hisses, rocking his hips and he groans when you swallow around him. A few thrusts of his hips, he is cumming down your throat in hot spurts, your name pulled from his lips.

You try to swallow it all, but it’s not something that you can manage. His cum spilling out from the edge of your lips to slide down your jaw while you gulp the rest of it down and let him ride out his pleasure, watching him as your cunt throbs.

Ezra pants, struggling to keep his eyes open as you let him drop from your mouth and he hisses, caresses your cheek before he scoops up his cum from your chin and pushes his fingers into you. “Jesus Christ, chérie. You - you are - fuck. Are you dripping?” He asks, shifting to kneel down and he cups your cunt, wanting to see if you are wet enough.

Whining, you grind against his fingers, wanting to feel him. You are soaked and ready to cum even though you know he is not going to be able to fuck you right now. “Fuck, Ez…” your eyes close and you lean forward to rest your forehead on his shoulder.

He rubs your clit, wanting you to cum while he recovers. You lean against him and he slides his fingers back to push two inside of you, groaning at how fucking wet you are. He presses his thumb against your clit, “want you to cum for me.”

You don’t care that you are still on the floor, his fingers inside you feel amazing. Thicker than your own and able to curl against that spot that makes your entire body light up in pleasure. “Fuck!” You gasp out, grabbing his arm to steady yours as your hips jerk towards him.

Ezra hisses when your walls flutter around his fingers, showing how close you are to cumming. “Yes baby doll.” He feels you gripping his arm and he tries to not flinch but he leans in to kiss your cheek. “Cum for me?” He asks, not telling you but asking you to cum for him.

His gruff request works, asking you to come apart for him does the trick. The clever fingers curl and press up against your g-spot again and you wail his name. Cunt spasming around his fingers while you soak them, thighs shaking in pleasure.

“Yes. That’s it chérie. Such a good girl for me.” He murmurs, working you through it and he groans when you lean forward to press your lips to his. “Are you going to let me fuck you?” He asks, cock hardening once again.

“Yes.” You whine breathlessly, lashes fluttering and you finally realize that you are holding onto his arm. Letting go without trying to draw attention to the fact that you feel him wince. “Here or in the bed again?”

“Bed.” He rasps, wanting to fuck you from behind. He groans as he helps you stand and he pushes his pants down, pulling off his shirt and he remains in his under shirt. “I want to fuck you from behind.”

You have no problem with that, leading him into your bedroom and you look over your shoulder as you kneel down on the bed. Smirking, you shake your hips at him invitingly. “Come fuck me.”

Ezra can’t help but reach out and smack your ass, loving the way the skin jiggles and he chuckles at the squeal that escapes your lips. “Condom?” He asks, his cock now aching with need and he grips his length, pumping himself a few times.

“Same drawer.” You bite your lip, wanting to ask if he would get screened so he didn’t have to wear a condom, but you don’t want to pressure him into something like that. You watch him open the drawer and pull out another foil packet, cunt clenching when you see his cock bobbing as he moves.

He rips it open and rolls it into his length, groaning as he pumps himself before he kneels behind you, gripping his cock to position himself at your entrance. “Fuckkkk chérie.” He hisses as he pushes into you. He leans over you, kissing along your neck as he pushes deep and gives you a moment to adjust around him.

He feels so deep in this position. Making your head fall to hand down and hips to push back against him as you moan. “Fuck Ezra, you- you’re so deep.” You whimper, walls fluttering around him as you enjoy the way he fills you. “God, I- be rough.” You beg, wanting to feel him for days after this.

Ezra follows your order, grabbing your hips and he sets a harsh pace, pushing into you with soft grunts escaping his lips. He wants to be rough, he wants to push into you hard and make you feel him for days. “Fuck baby. You feel so good.”

Gasps and whines are all you can manage through his harsh pace. Gripping the sheets in your fists while he pulls your hips back as he slams into you. His hips slap your ass and it feels like his cock is spearing up into your throat. You love and show him by clenching down around him every time he hits that perfect spot inside you. “Ez-Ez-Ezraaaaa!” 

Your moans spur him on and he leans over you, cupping your tits and massaging them as he rocks into you. “Fuck baby doll. You feel - you feel like heaven.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck and nipping, careful to not leave a mark.

Every thrust of his hips pushes you closer to cumming. That heat and tension curls in the pit of your stomach and makes you arch your back when he pinches your nipple harshly. Gasping out his name and closing your eyes. “Fuck baby, so close.” You pant, collapsing down to your elbows and laying your cheek against the bed. “Harder.” 

Ezra slides his hand down to rub your clit, wanting you to cum around his cock. He hisses your name, rocking into you. “Cum for me, mon chérie, please.” He begs wanting you to cum for him, to clench around him.

Within another dozen thrusts, you are doing just that. Almost a delayed cry of pleasure as you suck in a breath of air, you squeal out when you exhale. Your entire body responds to the overwhelming punch of his cock against your g-spot and you swear you feel him jerk to a halt, unable to move for a split second while you lock down around him. 

When you cum, he stills, unable to move and he kisses along your spine as you shake beneath him. He withdraws after a moment, shifting to kneel on the floor and he leans forward to lap at your clit, sensitive from your orgasm, and he pushes you into another one, wanting you to cum again. His hand squeezes his condom covered cock while his tongue pushes into you.

“Fuck, fuck!” You moan, unable to believe that he hadn’t just continued to fuck you. Making you pant and squirm under the broad strokes of his tongue. He’s relentless, not allowing you to settle down before he’s demanding your body give him more. Your stomach clenches and heaves when he curls his tongue deep and that sharp nose presses against your other hole and nearly breeches it, making you cry out again as another orgasm rushes over you. 

He works you through another orgasm, loving how responsive you are. He hisses your name and shifts to kneel behind you, pushing back into your fluttering cunt. “Oh Jesus Christ.” He groans and starts to fuck you, hard and fast as he seeks his own pleasure. “Fuck chérie, You are heaven sent.” He is close but he wants you to cum one more time so he starts to rub your clit, his cock pushing deep.

“Ezraaaaaa.” You whine shifting forward to lay down on the bed, Ezra following you where you are flat on your stomach. Turning your head, you watch him out of the corner over your eye. His fingers are trapped under you, rubbing your clit and you moan again.

He straddles your thighs, one hand grabbing your ass while the other continues rubbing your clit. He desperately needs you to cum, his cock aching as he pushes deeper than before, punching into your guts as he pants your name. “Cum, one last time. Cum for me baby doll.” He pleads, so close to his own orgasm and he needs you to cum one last time.

You scream his name, clenching down around his cock and soaking him in your juices. Panting out while he furiously rocks into you and seeks his own high. “Pl-please c-cum!” You beg, desperate to feel him cum, even if he’s wearing a condom.

He can’t hold back even if he tries, he pushes into you, gritting his teeth, and he thrusts a dozen more times before he’s burying his cock deep. Spilling into the condom, he groans, unable to say your name as lights flash behind his eyes, the pleasure consumes him and he slumps on top of you without pressing his weight into you. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He pants, kissing your neck.

“Godddddddd.” You groan, laughing quietly as you pant. “That was so, so good.” You murmur, wishing you can kiss him. It’s strange to feel his shirt on your sweaty skin, but you understand that he has some kind of hang up about being shirtless. “Wish you had filled me up.” You slur, almost unaware that you had said it.

His cock twitches inside of you and he swallows harshly, “yeah? You want that? I’m clean. Always - always get tested monthly just in case. Shit, baby girl. You want me to fill you full of my cum next time? Make you drip?” He rasps, biting down on your shoulder.

Whining softly, you nod against the sheets. “Fuck, please Ezra.” You try not to think about why he gets tested monthly. It’s not your business and it’s not your place to feel possessive of him. Your cunt clenches around his softening cock and he hisses against your skin. “I want that.”

“Me too.” He murmurs, kissing your neck again and he grips the base of the condom before he pulls out of you. He sighs and shuffles off of the bed, tying off the condom and disposing of it before he lays down on the bed next to you again. “So good.” He murmurs, turning onto his side and cupping your cheek, leaning in to kiss you softly.

Turning, you lean into the kiss and enjoy it. Your eyes closing and humming against his lips until he pulls away. “Let me go get us some water.” You murmur, moving to shift off the bed. “Worked up a thirst and I know you must have too.” You want him to be comfortable. Especially since he’s staying.

Ezra watches you go with a soft smile on his face. You’re an incredible woman and he’s lucky to be in your company. He feels dirty for having you pay him but he has to pay his bills. When you come back into the room, he has his underwear on and he is sitting on the edge of the bed. “Thanks, chérie.” He says before he gulps down half the bottle. “I, um, I need - I want to show you…all of me.” He says, gesturing to his shirt.

You can feel the anxiety rolling off of him in thick waves, making him seem a little green around the gills. You set your own bottle of water down and move over to where he is sitting. “Only if you want to.” You promise, touching the back of his hand that’s resting on his thigh. “Just because we are spending time together and in bed together doesn’t mean you have to do anything you don’t want.”

“I want to. I- it’s just - you might be disgusted by my monstrous appearance. I- I was injured, as you know, and upon my return from war, I had surgeries and therapy and - I - my ex hated how I looked. Said I repulsed her and if you should happen to feel that way, I understand. I just - I feel like I want to show you all of me.” He swallows harshly and reaches for the hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it over his head while his heart pounds in his chest.

You don’t say a word. Your eyes map the scars that crisscross over his torso and shoulders. He apparently almost lost his right arm, the deep scar tissue around it nearly cutting the meat of it in two. “Ezra…” standing, you slowly move towards him. You want to reach out and you do so ever so gently, not wanting him to flinch away. “I see a man who survived horrors and I’m glad you did.” You promise, touching his bare skin and caressing one of the marks on his body.

“You- chérie - You’re not repulsed? You - you don’t think I’m a monster?” He asks softly, his entire body sparking as you caress skin that hasn’t been touched in years. “You didn’t pay for a monster. You deserve more.”

“You are not a monster.” You want to scream at the bitch who planted that idea in his head. “You are a man who has seen war, and been marked by it. But that does not change who you are here.” Your hand drifts up to his heart and you press your palm there to feel his heart pounding. “I want what I see right now.” You promise him, leaning down and kissing his shoulder, one of the scars on his skin and look up at him. “You deserve more than to believe you are a monster.”

Ezra sighs, cupping your cheeks and he leans forward to press a kiss to your lips, unable to believe how fortunate he is to have you in his arms, with him. “Chérie…you are magnificent.” He murmurs against your lips and his heart pounds in his chest. He knows the lines are blurring for him between client and lover but he can’t seem to stop himself.

You sigh into the kiss, closing your eyes and you let your hands slowly caress his skin. Tracing the scars gently and reverently, wanting him to feel appreciated. When the kiss ends, you smile at him. “You can leave your shirt off around me. I don’t mind.”

Ezra swears he nearly cries when you kiss his shoulder and he knows in that moment, he falls for you. He swallows harshly and caresses your waist, “thank you chérie. Are you- are you thirsty? Let me get you some water.” He wants to look after you, he wants to care for you.

You smile at him, wondering if he has forgotten that you brought him water. “I’m good.” You promise. “If you need to do anything, the bathroom is through the door right there.” You offer.

Ezra was so caught up in his emotions, he forgot you brought in water and he nods, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “You wanna watch a movie? It’s still kind of early.” He caresses your spine, just breathing you in.

There’s something incredibly domestic in the idea of watching a movie with him. Nodding, you smirk and send him a small wink. “As long as we don’t wear clothes.” You compromise teasingly, knowing that if he wants to get dressed, you won’t stop him. You don’t want him to be uncomfortable. “Here or in the living room?”

“Here. I want to keep you in my arms.” Now that Ezra has had skin to skin, he wants as much as possible. He was terrified you’d reject him, think of him as a monster but you haven’t rejected him so he wants to spend as much time as possible with you. He wants to feel you pressed against him.

“Perfect.” You kiss him again and stand up so you can pull the covers back and pile the pillows in the middle so you can cuddle together. You slide into bed and pat the spot next to you. “We can turn on something and just relax.”

He lays down, pulling you against him after you grab the remote. You’re both naked but he’s never been more comfortable. He kisses your neck while you scroll through Netflix. “What do you want to watch?” You ask and his hand caresses your waist before his fingers slide lower until he’s cupping your cunt. 

“Whatever you want to watch.” He murmurs, sliding his finger between your folds to slowly rub your clit.

“Ha.” You pant, the slow press of his finger against your bundle of nerves is incredibly distracting and you can already tell that neither one of you is going to pay attention to the TV. You quickly select a movie, not even aware of what it is and throw the remote down so you can give him the same amount of attention, your hands caressing his chest gently and your lips pressing against every scar you can reach.

His heart pounds in his chest as you caress skin he’s kept hidden since he left Louisiana and he adds a second finger, rubbing your clit with soft movements, in no rush to make you cum. He wants you to savor this, just enjoy the pleasure without any urgency. “Good movie choice.” He jokes, voice raspy as his cock starts to harden as the little whimpers and moans that escape your lips.

You moan, lips against his skin and your eyes flicker up to meet his. He’s someone you are paying for his time, but this feels like more. It feels real and for the first time in forever, you wish you were in a relationship. You wish you were with Ezra, that this was just a normal night. Continuing to kiss every mar and imperfection on his body, your other hand slips beneath the sheets and wraps around his half hard cock, holding him firmly.

Ezra hisses when you grip him, his fingers rubbing your clit a little harder and he shifts his hand, pushing two fingers into you, pressing his thumb to your clit. “You are perfection, mon chérie.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck before he presses his lips to yours, loving how breathless you are as you slowly work his cock.

It is the height of decadence. Lazily stroking a gorgeous man’s cock while his fingers pump into you just as slowly. Giving and taking pleasure as the movie plays and neither of you pay attention to it. “It is so easy with you.” You admit, almost afraid that you might say something stupid and break the spell over this moment.

Humming in agreement, Ezra works his fingers deeper into you, pressing his thumb against your clit a little harder as he wants you to cum again for him. “It’s because you’re so - so fucking perfect.” Ezra admits with a groan when you twist your wrist just right to make him moan your name.

You aren’t perfect. You know you aren’t. It’s not like every man you’ve tried to have a relationship with hasn’t pointed that out. You work too much, you don’t have time for them, you don’t mother them. Instead of focusing on that, you twist your wrist again when he curls his fingers deep. “Always easy with you.” You moan.

He loves hearing you say it even though you both know you’re paying for him to be here. He hisses your name and thrusts into your hand, pumping his fingers a little faster while the movie continues to play. “Are you going to cum for me, chérie?” He asks, leaning in to kiss your neck, biting down gently on your earlobe.

You groan out his name and your eyes flutter shut. “Eventually.” You tease, a small smirk on your lips. Squeezing his cock, you’re rewarded with him twitching in your hand and you pump him a little faster. “Only when you cum with me.”

He groans, loving the way your fingers feel wrapped around his cock and he hisses when you swipe your thumb over the edge. “Shit. You’re gonna - I need you to cum with me.” He pleads, continuing to pump his fingers despite his balls pulling tight to his body, warning him of his incoming orgasm.

“I’m going to, baby.” You pant, feeling your cunt start to flutter around his fingers deep inside you. “I’m gonna cum for you. Gonna cum all over your fingers.” You whine, turning your head and pressing your lips to his. Your moan pouring into his mouth while stars bust behind your eyes.

He groans when you clamp down on his fingers and you grip his cock just right in your hand, squeezing him so that he grunts into your mouth. His tongue slides against yours while his cock pulses in your hand, spurting his cum onto his stomach and chest, dripping onto your hand.

It’s beautiful, both of you coming apart together. Groaning into each other and riding out your pleasure panted out with every breath. “Ezra.” You whimper, kissing his lips again and again until his cock softens.

He withdraws his fingers, pushing them into his mouth with a groan to taste you and he cups your cheek with his wet hand, sliding his tongue back into your mouth. He has never felt this sexually charged. He’s almost ready to go again, certain that he would be if he was younger. “Fuck, my baby doll, you’re - you intoxicate me.”

You chuckle breathlessly, knowing that you feel the same but it has to be usual for him. Maybe he’s a little vulnerable because he’s exposed himself, but any number of women would give anything to have his attention and his touch. “Hopefully that doesn’t change anytime soon.” You murmur, shooting him a grin before you duck your head down and lick up some of the cum splattered on his skin.

“Jesus Christ.” Ezra hisses, caressing your cheek, and he surges forward to press his lips to yours, tasting his own cum on your lips and he smiles against your lips when you pull back. “Shall we restart that movie?” He jokes and you giggle, nodding as you snuggle into his side. 

****

The next morning, Ezra watches you get ready for work with a grin on his lips, loving this routine you go through. It’s unbelievably sexy to watch you get ready and he sits there in his pants, watching you as you put on your underwear. He knows he could easily watch you do this every morning and that scares him a little, how easy it is.

It’s been a long time since you’ve gotten dressed in front of anyone, but you don’t mind Ezra watching you. There’s something in his gaze that makes you feel warm and you like it. Humming to yourself as you rub lotion into your skin, you think about the outfits you haven’t worn in awhile and walk into your closet to pull out the business attire.

When you come out of your closet, Ezra groans at how beautiful you look in the blazer and skirt. He shifts, standing up and he walks over to you, kneeling down on the floor. His hands run along your legs and he pushes your skirt up. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, looking up at you and he hooks his fingers in the panties he watched you put on, pulling them down. “I want breakfast.” He teases, lifting your leg onto his shoulder before he slides his tongue through your folds.

“Ezraaaa.” You whine, thankful you don’t have your shoes on as your fingers tangle into his hair. You had expected him to leave first thing, or to not be interested in anything intimate, but his tongue proves you wrong. “Fuck- I- I’m going to be late.”

“Be late. For once in your fucking life.” He winks and dives back in, flicking his tongue against your clit until he sucks it into your mouth, groaning when you buck against his mouth. He grabs your ass, encouraging you to rock against his face. Once he’s made you cum, he will leave even though he’s going to hate it.”

“Oh fuck!” You cry out, his tongue flicking over your clit with expert precision. You vaguely think about calling in sick and staying like this with Ezra all day but he has places to be as well. “Fuck, fuck, you’re going to fuck me, right?” You gasp out. “Oh fuck, fill me up and let me ruin my panties all day?”

He groans into your pussy, wishing he could spend all day buried in your cunt but you have to work and he needs to spend time away from you before he gets even deeper. He slides his tongue into your cunt, his nose pressed against your clit and he fucking loves the way you rock against his face.

Your body loves the attention, primed for another orgasm by his skilled tongue or cock through most of the night. You hadn’t slept much but you feel invigorated. “Fuck Ez,” you whine, tugging on his hair until he groans into your cunt again and it sends you over the edge. Crying out wordlessly, you flood his tongue with your juices.

He laps it up, working you through it with his tongue while he savors everything you give him, his cock now aching and he caresses your legs as he pulls back to look up at you. “Chérie, you want - you want me to fuck you?” He rasps, chin glistening with your cum.

Despite the fact that you need to leave for work, you are nodding. Turning around and pulling your skirt up more as you bend over the bed. “Fuck me. God, I want to feel you all day, baby.” You beg, closing your eyes so you don’t ask him to be here when you get home.

Ezra doesn’t think about the condom, too focused on pulling his trousers down to pull his hard cock out, positioning himself at your entrance and pushing inside of you with a deep groan. His hands grip your hips and he doesn’t allow you a moment to adjust before he starts to fuck you hard and fast.

Rocking up into the balls of your toes, you cry out when he punches deep. Loving how it feels like his cock is kissing your womb and hitting perfectly inside you. Mewling every time his hips slap against your ass, all you can do is take it and you Fucking love it. “Ez- oh-oh fuck!” You squeal when he pushes deep and hits your g-spot.

To feel you without protection has Ezra thinking he’s been allowed into heaven. He hisses and continues his hard pace, eyes fluttering closed with how wet and tight you are around him, so fucking hot. “Oh shit, baby doll, you feel - it’s so good. So goddamn fucking good.” He smacks your ass, loving the squeal that echoes in your bedroom.

Every thrust of his cock pushes you closer, legs starting to shake and you feel like you are about to combust. Pushing your hips back and where he roughly drills into you again, you shatter. Toes curling and back arching, you practically scream his name. Creaming all over his cock and you realize he’s not wearing a condom and it makes it even sweeter.

“Can I - fuck. Can I cum inside of you, chérie?” He asks, panting as he leans over you. His eyes fluttering closed as he bites down on your neck, trying to control himself as you squeeze his cock, soaking him and his entire body shakes as he tries to control himself and not cum inside of you without you saying yes.

“Yes! Fuck yes, Ezra cum inside me. Please cum inside me.” It’s borderline pathetic how desperate you sound but you reach back to grab his hip. “Fuck baby, fill me up.”

He can’t deny you anything, thrusting deep as he cums, painting your walls as the deep groan of your name bounces off of your bedroom walls. “Oh my fuck-” He chokes, cock pulsing as he slumps over you, filling you up with his hot seed.

The whine you let out is low, pleased, as he fills you up. Loving the slow rolls of his hips while he pumps every last drop into your cunt. Knowing you will be leaking him for hours while at work. “Fuck-I, no more condoms.” You pant. “Just like this, every time.”

Ezra kisses along your neck, unable to believe you trust him enough to cum inside of you. He’s never had that with a client but the line is blurring. You are no longer a client, you’re more than that and it terrified him. “Fuck yes. So good.” He murmurs and pulls out of you with a hiss. He grabs your panties, helping you step into them and pulls them up to keep his cum inside of you, stopping it from dripping on the floor. “You need to get to work, baby doll.” He smacks your ass before he pulls your skirt down.

Turning around, you press your lips to his again. It’s crazy how deeply you feel for him but you know that his time is money. As it is, you feel like you’ve taken advantage. “Let me know when you’re free again.” You murmur, straightening up so you can fix your appearance for work. “I would like to see you again soon.” Like tonight, but you don’t say that. You don’t want to be clingy.

“Me too.” Ezra murmurs, knowing he needs the $300 rate you agreed but he wants to say fuck the money and continue kissing you. However, he has obligations and when you step back to grab your purse, he feels dirty, he feels like he’s taking advantage of you. “Maybe tomorrow night. I have…I have an appointment tonight.” An older lady, a widow, who wants him to attend a function with him. He knows he will just be there to impress her friends but the money is too much to pass up. Maybe he can work on his writing this afternoon.

Taking out the bills, you fold them over and for a moment - fear that he is fucking you to make sure you come back floods your system. Making you falter for a moment before you press the bills into his hand and kiss his cheek. “I- I should leave.” You murmur, not sure of how to ask him to get dressed and leave with you. You aren’t together and you shouldn’t leave him in your apartment by himself.

Ezra nods, pulling up his trousers and tucking his shirt in before he shoves the money in his pant pocket. “I’ll see you soon, mon chérie.” He murmurs, kissing your cheek and he grabs his jacket while you lead him to the door. He knows you need to leave and he follows you out of your door. The elevator ride is silent and he watches you as you stare at the numbers on the screen. He wants to say something but what can he say? You want him for company and sex, he needs to push his silly feelings aside.

The doors open and you look up from your phone, stepping out into the lobby. “Thank you for last night.” You offer, wanting to kiss him but you aren’t sure about what you can do now that you’ve paid him for his time. Your phone beeps and you sigh, looking down at it. “I’m sorry, I am so late. Ask the doorman to get you a car if you need one.” You flash him a smile and turn around to hurry toward the doors that lead to where your car is waiting. 

Ezra watches you go with a sigh, knowing you just want him when you aren’t working. He needs to control his emotions and be professional. That’s what you are doing and he must follow suit. 

**** 

You snuggle into his chest, the morning light shining through the window and Ezra caresses your spine as you sleep against him. He didn’t get a lot of sleep, too busy thinking about work. Too busy thinking about you. You’ve been paying him to stay at your place for the past month, going out for dinners, you even took him to a work event. Three hundred dollars for every night he spends with you and you’ve spent a lot of money. He hates it and today, he’s going to end it. He can’t keep taking your money. You stir against him and he kisses your hair, “morning, chérie.”

A soft, sleepy smile starts on your face as you turn your head. Mornings with Ezra are amazing and you have slept better and been more relaxed than you ever remember being. It’s sad that you have to pay for a man that you’ve fallen in love with, but you understand it. Time is money and you knew that the first time you slept with him. “Morning.” You hum, scooting up to press your lips to his. “Hmmm, what time is it?” 

“It’s ten. You slept in. Someone must’ve kept you up all night long.” Ezra teases, pressing his lips to yours once more until he remembers that he has to end this. He sighs, shifting off of the bed. “My damn arm has gone dead. Let me - I need to piss.” He says, pulling away from you as he shuffles into the bathroom. He doesn’t know how he’s going to end this, it’s going to destroy him but it’s for the best. When he comes out, you are sitting up in bed, still sleepy and yet so gorgeous. “I’ll make you some coffee.” He says as he grabs his pants, pulling them on so he can have this conversation with you.

You rub your eyes, a little confused at why Ezra is rushing out of the bed. Although it’s late, you have been spending hours in bed on the weekends before you finally get up and venture out to get brunch. There’s something odd about it and it makes your stomach flutter nervously as you slide out of bed and grab your robe to tie around you before you make your way to the kitchen. “Do you want to go out and get coffee? Some breakfast?” You ask, coming over to kiss his bare back as he stands in front of your coffee maker. His back tenses and you slowly pull away, thinking he is having some pain this morning. Sometimes his scars ache. 

Ezra doesn’t respond as he works on fixing you a cup of coffee. “No. I, uh, I can’t go out for brunch today. I have…other obligations.” He lies and you frown, stepping back from him. 

“Oh. I, uh, okay.” You swallow harshly and he bites his lip as he watches you walk over to your purse on the counter. “I can pay you now. Let you leave and we can - we can see each other tomorrow.” You aren’t happy but what can you do? You can’t force him to stay. 

“No.” Ezra says, his voice almost wavering but he manages to remain strong. “I don’t - I don’t want your money and I can’t - I can’t see you again.”

“Oh.” Your heart breaks with his words and immediately you are trying to fight back tears. It’s stupid that you had gotten in so deep with this man when it was only supposed to be one evening, one stupid New Year’s party. “I see.” You manage to keep your voice steady and you turn to pull out the crisp, three one hundred dollar bills and you lay them on the counter for him. “Take the money, you spent last night with me.” You insist before you set the bag down. “I- I need to - excuse me.” You rush back towards your bedroom, needing to lock yourself in the bathroom for a moment so you don’t do something stupid like begging him to stay.

Frowning as you rush off, Ezra looks back towards the door you just slammed. He shakes his head, suddenly pissed that you are just dismissing him without even talking about it. He knows he’s the one ending this arrangement but that’s because of his feelings for you. You just seem to not give a fuck. That makes him furious. He stomps over to your door, banging on it. “You can’t just lock yourself away. I- is that it? We’re done?” He asks you through the door, leaning against it as he sighs, his heart breaking.

Inside the bathroom, you cover your mouth with your hand, tears pouring down your face. “What do you want, Ezra?” You sob. “Is this- I don’t understand.” Your heart feels like it’s about to explode and all you want is to be left alone so you can wallow in your misery. “Is it a shakedown for more money?” You didn’t think it was all fake, but maybe he had just been using you. Maybe this was to try to get you to offer him more.

He hates hearing you cry and he’s so mad that you think this is because he wants more money. “More money? Are you fucking joking with me, baby doll? I don’t give a shit about the money. I- I can’t keep taking your money when I- it’s not just work anymore. It never was. Not since the moment I met you. It’s never been an arrangement for me. Chérie, it’s always been for pleasure, because you’re incredible. I - I can’t keep taking your money when I’m in love with you. It’s not right and it’s best that I walk away now. I know you just wanted company and I’m the moron who caught feelings and it’s not fair to push that onto you.”

His confession just makes you sob harder, confused and hurt by all of this. Especially the suddenness of him not wanting to be with you anymore. “Don’t lie, Ezra!” You shout, curling your arms around yourself to try to provide some small comfort. “I know- I know that you were just doing your job. I know that the only way I would get to be with you was if I paid you. Why-” You voice breaks and you gasp out a sob of heart wrenching pain. “Why do you think I kept paying you? It’s the only way I could spend time with you! Stop making fun of me.”

Ezra frowns, “what - what the fuck are you talking about? Please. Please can you come out of there so I can talk to you properly? I’m not making fun of you, my love. I - I want to be with you. I just - you kept paying me and I - I’m a scoundrel and shouldn’t have taken your money. I’ll give every cent back to you. Just - just please, let me see you one last time before I go. I can’t - I know you don’t love me. I’ll go.”

You don’t want to, you don’t want to confront him. You’ve never been good in relationships, never wanted to fight or deal with the heartbreak associated with it. You would rather just leave, let him go but he’s in your house right now. Stumbling to the door, you know you look horrible with tears running down your cheeks and your nose running but you can’t care right now. You open the door and you can’t even look at him, staring down at your feet. “Please stop.” You beg him softly. “I know- I know I’m stupid but stop pretending.” You hiccup and try to wipe away your tears. “You don’t want to be with me, I know that. So just- go if you want.” 

Ezra’s heart breaks at your confession and he can’t stop himself from reaching out to cup your cheeks. “My love, oh mon chérie. You are - please - seeing you cry has me damn near ready to beat myself up.” He tenderly wipes your tears with his thumbs, forcing you to look at him. “I don’t want your money. I want you. I love you. I’m - I’m a fool to let this arrangement have carried on for this long but I need you to know that I am madly in love with you and if you don’t feel the same, I will walk out that door. I will return your money. I cannot take it. I did not need to be paid for a single moment of this time together.”

Your chin trembles and wobbles while new tears spill over your lashes. Wanting so badly to believe him but why would he say he couldn’t see you anymore? “I- then why can’t you see me?” You ask. “I- I always want you here. I love you, Ezra. It’s why I’ve wanted you here. Everyday, I - I’ve wanted you. I paid you because I- I thought it was the only way I could have you.” 

He’s dumbstruck when you tell him you love him, taking a few moments to respond to you. “Why would you love me? I- I’m a monster. I- I don’t have a proper career. I spend my nights as a date for elderly women and I am not good enough for you.” He admits with a whisper, wiping away the new tears. “You deserve better than me.”

“I hate whoever told you that you’re a monster.” You hiss, shaking your head still cupped in his hands. Your own hands find his sides and you pull him closer. “You're not. You are a man who gives older ladies companionship and friendly banter, letting them feel young and wanted again.” You know he’s not sleeping with anyone else, you’ve actually met a few of his clients when you’ve been out to dinners. They are all sweet, lonely women who can pay for his company. “You are a writer, and a good one. Your book will be a bestseller, I know it.” The conversation has shifted focus and you find yourself defending him to him. “Why do I deserve better than the man I love?” 

Ezra swallows harshly, tears stinging in his eyes, and he leans in to press his forehead against yours. “Can you forgive me, mon chérie? For talking about leaving? I didn’t want to leave. I- I love you. I love you and I don’t want to go. I want you. If you can accept me as I am, I want you.” He murmurs, kissing your nose.

“There is nothing to accept, Ezra.” You close your eyes and try to catch your breath. “I love you, just as you are. I- you are perfect to me.” He never got upset at you when you worked at home, always let you finish up while he lounged beside you on his own computer or watched TV. Never tried to get you to change. Why would you want to change him?

He smiles, exhaling shakily then he presses his lips to yours, sweet but passionate as he breathes you in. He pulls back after a moment, “I love you, chérie. I love you more than life itself. I thank whatever deity is above that you called me for that New Year party. You’ve - you make me feel whole and accepted and loved. I could spend a lifetime repaying you for that.”

“I love you.” Now that you’ve said it, it’s almost second nature to repeat it. Addicted to the way it sounds when you tell him. “I- God, you don’t know how much you mean to me.” You promise, hugging him close and hiccuping again.

****

Ezra keeps his arm wrapped around your waist, smiling as you enter the ballroom for your company’s annual New Year party. Last year, you hired Ezra to come with you and now, he stands proud beside you. His book is now published and on the bestseller list like you predicted and he’s given up his escorting, now deciding to spend his nights with you and only you. “Have I told you you look gorgeous tonight, chérie?” He asks when you are standing at the bar, waiting on your champagne.

“Only when you tried to convince me to stay home and allow you to peel off my dress early.” You tease, leaning in and stealing a kiss. He’s officially moved in and every morning you wake up in his arms feels like a miracle. The second bedroom has been turned into his office, allowing him space to write and create. Often when you come home from work, you will sit on the sofa there and go through your emails while he finishes his self imposed writing limit. “But it pales in comparison to how handsome you are.”

Ezra bites his lip, staring at you and unable to believe how lucky he is to have you. You accept all of him, scars and blemishes, all of him. "Marry me." He blurts out, his dark eyes fixed on yours while you lean against the bar.

Rocking back, your eyes widen in surprise. “Ezra- what?” You forget how to breathe for a second and all you can hear is a slight buzzing in your ears. “I- you’re joking, right?” Ezra shakes his head, knowing it wasn’t the most articulate proposal in history, but he’s not joking. “You-you want me to marry you?” You whisper, unable to believe that this is actually happening. 

He clears his throat, reaching for your hands, and he turns you towards him. “Mon chérie, I- I adore you. I wake up and am beyond grateful that you are in my arms. I never thought I’d find someone like you. I never imagined being with a woman like you after coming back from the war. I love you, I want you to be mine. I want you to be my wife. Marry me.” He requests and lets go of your hands to reach into his pocket. “I planned to do this later but I- I can’t wait.” He opens the small velvet box, displaying the simple yet impressive diamond he had purchased for you.

Gasping softly, your hand covers your mouth as you stare at the perfection that Ezra has picked out for you. Making tears spring to your eyes as you imagine marrying this man. Something that you never thought was in the cards for you. “Yes!” You cry after a moment, laughing and flustered. “Yes, I will marry you.” Lunging forward, you throw your arms around him and kiss him fervently. “I love you.”

He wraps his arms around you, the ring box in his hand and he grins against your lips until he is pecking them over and over. “I love you.” He murmurs your name and takes the ring out of the box, sliding it onto your finger. Others have noticed the scene and are applauding, including your bosses who orders a bottle of champagne for you and Ezra. 

“Congratulations. Who would’ve thought you’d be getting engaged tonight?” Your boss winks at Ezra who chuckles, having emailed your boss to ask for the band to play your favorite song - the song that was playing during your first dance a year ago. 

The song begins to play and Ezra takes your hand, guiding you to the dance floor. “I want to show off my beautiful fiancée.” He smiles, pulling you into his arms and he begins to sway with you to the music while your entire company watches, the ring on your finger glistening. You have tears in your eyes when you rest your head on Ezra and he kisses your hair. You had hired him a year ago to pretend to be your boyfriend and tonight, you’ll be leaving with him as your fiancé.

[robots-on-film]

Emesis Blue thoughts and headcanons but they progressively just more unhinged

WARNING: THIS WAS POSTED AT LIKE, 2 AM. I AM SO SLEEPY, sorry for all typos

Okay first things off Hole Dwelling by Kikuo is SUCH an emesis blue song, I am baffled why I haven't seen anyone make anything with it. Like personally I see it as being associated with the corpses inside the pit at comegaher slaughterhouse, Like just look at the lyrics in the Eleanor Forte cover by lostparadice

Do you think Fritz, Jeremy, Soldier and Jaques and Stalingrad were all on the same team, do you think they were friends back when they were in the frontlines. Can you imagine them engaging in silly base shenanigans, Throws up a little bit

(Btw I am ignoring the idea that all of the characters might be clones, while I think it's plausible and angsty that Scout and his mom are both clones it's just too complicated for my view of emesis blue. + idgaf about what the author thinks unless I want to)

Anyway it would be funny and sad if Ludwig was a clone but didn't tell Scout (maybe out of shame? Self hatred? I dunno) so when Jeremy is finally able to ask Ludwig to go have dinner at his house and meet his Ma and Ludwig has no reason to say no, i am just imagining him feeling so out of place within such a normal situation. He feels like Scouts Ma is excrutionacing him while she just wants to know more about her sons coworker who is also one of his best friends.

We are getting into oc territory but smokes blunt what If he is the youngest brother of 7 older sisters, It would so funny if they were all protective of him. Lol

Jeremy could have been leader figure of his team, idk I am just picturing at having been this emotionally reserved but reckless guy. He would have a way to emotionally connect with his teammates (I do not view him as someone with low self steem like canon/RED Scout. Who has to put up a front to shield himself from others). He totally tried and succeeded in goading Soldier and Medic into doing silly team building activities

Speaking of Jeremy and Soldier and Fritz, I can imagine Jeremy and Soldier in a situation like pressure by rayclubs. Or Scout and Fritz like that scene with Scout and Medic in the bunker in Lessons v2.1

I wonder how the rest of their former teammates are doing (Pyro, Sniper, Engineer, Demoman)

Hehe he, thinking about them all just having to spend the night at Jeremy's house. Silly

Do you think Fritz thinks of himself as sinner

Soldier and Fritz throwing hands to decide who gets to be Jeremy's father figure, Jeremy obliviously Eating breakfast with Jaques and Stalingrad in the kitchen

BLOOD FROM THE CONCRETE BY THE SCARY JOKES IS SO SOLDIER CORE

And Apple Pie is about the 10th class and Soldier ♡

Fritz is like the 10 year old black street cat that Jeremy took in. Pass it on. He is very affectionate but makes biscuits with his claws out

And Jeremy is like the most energetic yet so damn quiet puppy Ludwig has ever seen. Source: my heart

It would be funny if someone on the team was Jeremy's bio dad, all obvious clues point to Spy but it does not make sense because he is a clone, the reveal is that he is actually the bio son of their Sniper. Sorry idk what I am writing.

Jaques is such a Hater /neg, au where he while in the frontlines he gets into a life or death situation with Jeremy and it humbles him or something because frankly Jeremy would keep him alive yet also not take any if the shit he spews

HAHAHA,, THE TEAM TREATING SOLDIERS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE RED DEMOMAN LIKE SOMEONE SORT OF FORBIDDEN ROMANCE THEY ARE HELPING HIM COVER UP... LMAO

Their base getting destroyed and they have to go live in a like shack for a month, AKA THEY HAVE TO SHARE ONE big BED... Jeremy is the one who comes up with a plan on where to place everyone so they don't kill each other.

Jeremy's and Fritz friendship is so, too much for me. They have such trust in each other, it's a warm and it would be beautiful if it wasn't for the coldness around them. Of what happened and what is going to. Do you think that Fritz fears that he will stop thinking of Jeremy as a person and start to remember him in a abstract sense instead of the real person he was

"To have such loyalty, to a person that will treat you so poorly" Soldier and Jaques...

[thyandrawrites]

On Nagi's emotional intelligence

One thing I find interesting about Nagi's character is that he's not only bad at getting across his emotions in a way that leaves little room for misunderstandings; he also struggles a lot to identify feelings (not just his but especially other people's) for what they are, and to put himself in other people's shoes.

Both the manga and Nagi's light novel offer several examples of this, and I noticed a common denominator in most of them. So I thought it could be fun to compile them in a post.

(long ramble under a cut! Contains slight manga spoilers up to manshine city arc)

Preface: I did not study psychology, and though I try my best not to misuse words and be insensitive, mistakes in good faith can happen. Please bear with me

So, what kicked off this whole thing is a scene from Episode Nagi. This one:

Now, without context it would be easy to write off Nagi as a self-centered genius who is looking down on team Z for being "weaker". And that's exactly how Isagi, who doesn't know Nagi prior to this, takes his questions. They're just a taunt, as if Nagi is mocking Team Z's determination to overturn the scores when they're a team that doesn't yet know its own skills fully.

And the thing is, regardless of Nagi's intentions, his words are condescending. He doesn't mean them to be, but you can't deny that calling someone stupid to his face is not conductive to a polite or constructive conversation, lol.

Unless you're Nagi Seishiro, that is.

Nagi... Doesn't seem to grasp that essentially calling team Z the bottom of the barrel while asking what keeps them going is... Well, rude. Patronizing, even. Which is why he looks so puzzled when Isagi's response is negative, and when he doubles down on his hunger for goals.

In his head, phrasing it this way was perfectly fine. He was genuinely asking, and he expected a response. He wanted to know, not to piss Isagi off and be left hanging.

The reason behind Nagi's obliviousness is of course a lack of social skills. We know he tends to keep to himself, preferring video games and the silent company of a cactus over social interactions, and it shows in how stilted his ability to properly communicate becomes over time.

But in the intro I said I don't think it's just a struggle with communicating what he means. I also interpret it as Nagi struggling to put himself in other people's shoes when their experiences don't mirror his, which complicates his attempts to communicate further.

What is translated as "What's his deal?" in the panel above in japanese has a bit more nuance than that, and it clues us in to what was likely going through Nagi's head a bit more.

"What's this creature (Isagi Yoichi)"

The kanji that compose Isagi's name are transcribed with a different reading (the furigana indeed reads "creature")

Now, if you read Nagi's light novel, the words might sound familiar:

(credits to @/ hoshi801_ on twitter for this translation)

That's because we have another example of Nagi being weirded out by and puzzled at how differently he and others seem to function.

From Nagi's perspective, he's not the weirdo, others are! He keeps observing this world where everyone puts effort into things that he only sees as a hassle, and he doesn't get how anyone can find any appeal in them. In other words, Nagi doesn't really understand how other people work (how they think, how they feel, what motivates them), and he tends to use himself as a metric for understanding them better, not realizing how flawed that approach is.

I also reckon this is why he can sometimes come across as lacking tact.

"it's easy for me. How come is it not easy for you?"

What he says to Bachira during the 4v4 seems like another prime example of Nagi attempting to figure out others by comparing them against himself.

In his intentions, this little speech serves as a way to get Bachira to step up his game. After all, had he really been fine with not picking him, he could've kept his mouth shut, won the match, and picked Rin as he said he would. No need to warn Bachira beforehand, giving him a chance to prove himself in the field and compete with Rin as the best choice moving forward.

But the words Nagi uses are familiar once again.

"Do you think you'll get chosen if you lose? Still living in dreamland? [...] I want Rin, and I bet Isagi feels the same." -> Nagi to Bachira

Vs "you'd be satisfied if I chose you here? You wanna act like a team even if we're not excited about it? You think becoming best in the world is that simple?" -> Nagi to Reo

And then

"We don't need you the way you are now." -> to Bachira above

Vs, "'You're fine as you are.' That's what you said to me, Reo, but... For me to dream with you about being the best again, I want to change." -> Nagi to Reo (in his head)

Nagi doesn't really understand Bachira, either, but he understands the bond Bachira shares with Isagi. Two separate times, he sees himself and Reo's relationship mirrored in it, and that's what prompts his "pep talk".

While he might not grasp what motivates Bachira's ego, Nagi knows what motivated himself. So he offers much the same to Bachira. You want to keep playing with Isagi, just like I want to keep playing with Reo. So change, like I did. Keep working towards that dream, and don't throw in the towel, accept defeat, and wait for Isagi to pick you.

Bachira and Isagi's bond is pretty much the only time we see Nagi try and succeed at relating to someone else's emotions. He's able to do this because he can sense the similarities between them. It's a pattern he's plenty familiar with. So we could say he's still applying that flawed method I talked about above. Understanding others by comparing them to himself, assuming they think the same way.

But I'd like to point out that while he does get their bond as far as it mirrors his and Reo's, Nagi still doesn't grasp the ways in which it differs. Namely, he remains oblivious to Bachira's desire for connection. Nagi is perfectly comfortable being a loner, and while he misses Reo, he adjusts to the separation quite easily, at least emotionally. Well, partly because he caused it, but also because from his perspective, he and Reo were never really apart-apart. They'd eventually meet up again, Nagi would tell him all about his side quests, and they'd be fast besties once again.

At least, that's what Nagi envisions, because Nagi is a straightforward person who doesn't really grasp other people's perspectives past his own personal experience.

For that reason, I think, he remains oblivious to how his advice to Bachira hits like a slap where the boy's at his most vulnerable. But it all works out in the end, so in the grand scheme of things, Nagi has no reason to give it more thought past this interaction. Nagi's team loses, Isagi advances with Bachira, all is well again.

If Nagi got away with giving this as little thought as possible, though, his dynamic with Reo doesn't give him the same easy out. Not for lack of trying on his part. Reo doesn't initiate conversations with him for days (weeks?) on end, and Nagi is fine with never questioning it.

Now, normally I'd make a point here about how Nagi's major weakness is his refusal to think hard about anything unless he's forced to—or about how that's the main hinder to his development to date—but that's a post for another day. Suffice to say, for the sake of this argument, that his willingness to let things stay tense between him and Reo is part of the problem here.

Well, "willingness" might not be the right term here. From his pov, there isn't any tension at all, in fact.

Again, because Nagi had a reason that justifies leaving Reo behind, he doesn't see a strain in their relationship until Reo points it out to him. Worse yet, he struggles to see Reo's viewpoint even after Reo does point it out to him.

He's as clueless as they come, and he's closest to Reo than anyone else in blue lock. Despite this, not only does he not realize why Reo is upset with him and doesn't want to link up anymore, he also fails to grasp that Reo's angry at him at all.

I ran out of image space so I'm just gonna quote the next bit:

N: "We promised, right? To win the world cup together. I've just kept making the best choices I could for that goal. During the rival battle, I thought I could get stronger if I went with Isagi. And I chose England because I thought I could learn from Agi and Chris. So, now it's you, Reo. You're stronger now, so you and I can beat Isagi, unlike last time."

To which Reo understandably replies,

R: "Damn, you really are a selfish jerk, you know that?"

Nagi doesn't seem to realize that if you are a team, you should, you know... Communicate with your partner. Instead, he decides for himself, without even asking for Reo's input, what's the best course of action to achieve their dream, doesn't share his thought process with Reo at all, embarks on said course alone, and then one day randomly decides to have Reo tag along in it.

In his head, I think it all makes sense to him because he assumes Reo already knows all this, intuitively. After all, that's how their whole dynamic has been built so far. When Reo isn't anticipating Nagi's needs before Nagi has uttered them aloud, Nagi is instinctively following the vision Reo set up with a pass, and completing it with a goal.

I'd say that the fact that they relied so heavily on silent communication for much of their time as friends is half the reason why they are so bad at communicating with actual words. I'm including Reo in this because he's equally guilty of it too, what with him saying "do what you want" aloud, only to wish for Nagi to stay without verbalizing that thought to him.

But I digress.

My point is, in the scene above, Nagi assumes Reo would be fine with the split because Nagi himself was. It doesn't even occur to him that Reo might see it as the negation of their promise to each other, or that he would feel abandoned and forgotten about (sorry, can't post pictures, but notice his shock at Reo's accusations. Chapter 187). After all, Nagi spent the whole time thinking about all the things he wanted to tell him.

Once again, much like with Isagi in the first selection, Nagi's puzzled and surprised at Reo's angry burst in response to his pushing; he assumes the drive he feels will be mirrored or at least understood by the other person, but instead he's turned down, faced with a negative reaction he doesn't quite understand.

As Reo puts it, Nagi's imagination comes short of letting him empathize with Reo's feelings. The choice to move on without him is purely functional, then, but from his perspective it never involved any emotional distance. To Reo, however, who was left with an easy to misunderstand parting speech, the hurt of a perceived loss strongly overshadowed anything else. Nagi doesn't anticipate Reo's emotional response over rationality because Nagi himself is not an emotion-driven person. He doesn't see that Reo would be plagued by self doubt because Nagi doesn't doubt his skills. He fails to see how his actions could easily be misconstrued as indifference because Nagi's not one to read hidden meaning into people's words, and assumes others take things as face value, too.

But that's more than communication failure! That consistent lack of effort to imagine how others would feel or act in a given situation is a pattern, at least imo.

I think Nagi never had to make that kind of effort before, since he was pretty much on his own, and in a lot of ways he's still adapting to having peers he trusts and that he wants to be trusted by in response

One could say this is as much a process to him as understanding his own ego for football is, and I find that really fascinating to watch

[inchidentally]

(not gonna post the link you sent bc I don't wanna tread on other people's stuff since we're all out here in the tumblr wild to talk about these rich men and their problematic silly sport in any way we want to. I'll reply with my thoughts but remember that they're my own and I am NOT telling someone else how to feel)

okay so fully removing the ship lenses and assuming they're not wishing any hostility towards Oscar or any future teammate of Lando's at McLaren: holy SHIT no. fuckballs NOOOO.

ok from a purely practical/realism standpoint Carlos will not be taking any steps backward. based purely on Ferrari's overall performance and the fact that Charles is a damn good match as a teammate (hi Singapore) Carlos is exactly where he should be for WDC contention. McLaren are out there competing hard with them and with the Mercs but to see them outpacing those cars would be solely down to the youth and combined competitiveness of Lando and Oscar they've invested in - so still no dice for Carlos in the foreseeable. I'm not F1 smart enough to know how likely it would be that he'd go to RBR but even there I'm not sure how he and Max would work together again with Max's dominance and ummmm Carlos' least favorite thing being following team orders to concede to his teammate. followed by what would become Carlos' first least favorite thing which would be to drive Max's car since development only works one way at RBR. and that's all assuming that Lando stays with McLaren and that Oscar chooses to leave. the first being reasonably likely and the second is too soon to tell. then there's the fact that by that point Lando would not be considered McLaren youth anymore and they'd be highly unlikely to bring on someone even older to partner him. ((add to that the fact that Carlos will never be an Alonso and will definitely get married early in his thirties and move on to different types of racing or maybe even a different field in racing)) Lando will be a Lewis and stick with F1 competitively chasing wins and WDCs (especially if he can outlast Max's boredom threshold) and he won't be interested in nostalgia hires unless they can help him with that goal.

but moving on to the more parasocial fandom side of it…

honestly the biggest surprise to me is seeing people think that they were equals ??? during their season together?? Lando was a tiny baby who has talked about how being partnered with Carlos fed his anxieties and insecurities! he saw this seasoned driver learning the car faster than him, knowing the circuits better than him and speaking to the team with more confidence than him. lbr when his "trophy" was Carlos' champagne while Carlos celebrated his podium, Lando did NOT look completely happy being forced into that celebration (and I seem to recall later on him even ruefully saying "it wasn't my celebration but anyway"). Carlos literally saw Lando as a baby brother and treated him as such but he also had no clue what to do with Lando's darker moods besides try to cheer him up (and sometimes fail).

I am someone who likes to keep the streams of real life and rpf totally crystal clear and separate and I also like to keep the reality of who these drivers are free of anything I imagine about them for fantasy. when Carlos isn't winning or at least happy with his result, he isn't remotely a team player (and with a team like Ferrari it's hard to blame him sometimes lol). I guess for some people? it's easy to think that Carlos would become a totally different driver when on a team with Lando from ~the power of love~… but that would also have to hand-wave when he actually was Lando's teammate. (it would also hand-wave that Carlos and Charles are also good friends and much more flirty and lovey dovey but Carlos still fights against Charles like a beast when he's in the car)

this man is in it to win it. if you called him soft for a teammate or said that the foremost reason he gave Lando DRS in Singapore was for Lando's benefit he would laugh in your face. at no point in the incredibly stressful final laps was Carlos going "aw shucks I hope my lil buddy can be up there with me let me rig this to make it happen" bc by that point in a race they are thinking in nothing but driving binary and /how do I cement my win against all the bastards behind me/. Carlos does NOT revolve even a small part of his racing career around Lando or any other driver. he doesn't even regard much of his team's input (again, probably for the best with Ferrari). even when he gets direct help from Charles following Ferrari strategy (see Singapore) I still can't really recall that he was overly effusive in acknowledging that fact. he's modeled himself much more on the F1 generations of more like two generations back. and why shouldn't he? so I do not get how people can still think that drivers - especially Carlos' type - are remotely friendly with anyone when they're on the circuit. sure they might get even more pissed off at a driver they aren't keen on but literally /everyone/ is their enemy and their own result is their one goal. that's literally their job.

and as Lando says himself, no one in F1 including him wants to beat anyone more than their own teammate. again. how do people think that Lando would take this entire career he's worked so incredibly hard for and make it about a guy he golfs with (in groups, folks) and occasionally goes to dinner with (which he also does with Daniel) and talks to during the drivers parade (he also consistently seeks out Max, George and Yuki) but has a thriving professional and social life that has nothing to do with Carlos? yuk|erre, maxie| and ga|ex are out there doing far more shippy type things than car|ando all the damn time but when have they ever let that affect their desire to win or beat each other??

nothing about little unseasoned raw lamb cutlet Lando with hairy alpha Carlos at McLaren at all resembles what their dynamic would be as teammates. and the fact that Lando is really liking this new feeling of being the superior favored driver bodes horribly for how he'd react to Carlos swinging his huge sexy cojones back into McLaren expecting to be the number one again by age and experience. folks should enjoy getting to see them during the drivers parade and out golfing as non teammates bc the adorable content of 2019 would curdle into something grotesque if they now had to do goofy challenges while slowly learning to hate the sight of each other during briefings as they sought to supplant the other in the standings.

in no way on this or any other earthly planes can I be convinced that having them compete on the same team again would be anything other than a trainwreck and result in them not even speaking for the next 10-15 years.

[elisysd]

52. Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Try - P!nk

She contemplated the usb stick one last time before taking a deep breath and plugged it on her laptop. It was not cheating. It was not cheating. It was not cheating. It was just a little push forward to try to save a car that was not on the right track of development. That was it. Nothing less, nothing more. She had to stop overthinking the situation. As usual, she had come earlier to the hospitality, to work in peace, before it was going to get crowded in terms of the media day. She didn’t know for how long she had been there, preparing documents and graphics to send to the team in the factory.

“Working hard over there?”

She looked up from her screen to see her mom smiling at her and sitting down to face her.

“Take a break with me?”

“I’m going to make myself some tea, do you want a cup?” Julia asked, standing up.

“Please, darling.”

She went to pour herself a lemon one for her and a mint one for her mom. When she came back, she saw Lyanna on her side of the table, looking at her screen.

“If you want me to explain to you the aerodynamics concept I’m working on, I believe the weekend wouldn’t be enough.” Julia laughed as her mom turned to her, a dark look on her face.

“I might not be able to understand them, but I can clearly recognise a Lamborghini car when I see one. So unless, Ferrari decided to drop the red to introduce the white, care to explain why you have pictures of the Lamborghini car on your screen?”

“I can explain.” Julia panicked as she felt herself paling.

“I sure hope you can. Because from the outside, it looks like you’re copying their concept.”

“I’m not copying it! I’m getting inspiration, that’s it…” Julia tried to defend herself.

“Are you, though? Because there is a difference between heavily inspired and copied from. And you are crossing the very thin line, Julia.”

“I’m not! I’m exploiting the gray areas of the regulations…”

“The gray areas of the regulations…” Lyanna chuckled in disbelief. “ Do you hear yourself? How did you even get those pictures?”

“I… it’s…” Julia stuttered.

“Don’t tell me, they come from Ethan…” her mom sighed, sitting down on a chair. “Don’t tell me that it was what he gave you for you to accept setting a Pr relationship. Don’t tell me you stoop that low.”

Julia couldn’t say anything. Whatever she would say to try to defend herself would turn out to be a lie and she didn’t have it in herself to keep on lying to her mom.

“I can’t believe it. That’s not how your dad and I raised you. Did you even tell your dad about the PR stunt?”

“I… I couldn’t find the right time…”

“As if there would have been a right time to tell him you lied. Tell me you haven’t sent anything that you’re working on to the factory, Julia.”

In front of the deafening silence, Lyanna drew her own conclusions.

“I’ll have to tell your dad.”

“Please don’t!”

“Will you come clean on your own?”

“I can’t do that! It’s going to crush him! I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“You don’t give me the choice, Julia. I can’t trust you on this.”

“Mom, please!”

But Lyanna had already left.

Far from having a clue of what was going to happen to him, Charles was happily chatting with other team principals as they were getting ready for the press conference. As he took place on the sofa, he saw Carlos talking to one of the Spanish journalists, giving him a piece of paper. He gulped, worried. He knew Carlos wanted nothing more than to see him fail as a Team Principal, since he had been announced a few years ago. The Spaniard had always hoped that the place would be his, when the time was done. Since then, he had always tried to make Charles’ job harder than necessary but the team principal hoped he wouldn’t resort to dirty ways to get what he wanted.

Much to his relief, the press conference went through without issues. He happily answered questions about the car, the strategy and Elijah's departure, saying his replacement would be announced soon without giving details.

“Juan Hernandez for ESPN Spain, a question regarding the presence of your daughter, Julia, in Ferrari. I have a source claiming that she had been working for you longer than what has been previously announced. It is said that she worked on the upgrades you brought to Brazil. Which would be against the rules, considering she was under gardening period. Can you confirm that no unauthorized work has been done in Ferrari on this side?”

Charles gulped. How did the journalist even come across this information? And then he saw Carlos’ proud smile and had his answer.

Julia's breathing stopped when she heard the question. And the snarky smile from the journalist after he tricked her dad wasn’t very reassuring. But her dad’s answer made her a little better.

“Julia is a very talented person and she had already proven to us that she would be a key element in the future car development. She has been closely working with us ever since her joining announcement and a little before since summer only on documentation to familiarize herself with her new environment. That’s all.”

“So what you are saying is that the new concept you brought to Brazil is yours only.”

“What are you implying?”

“See, Mister Leclerc, my source who is very reliable is stating that your daughter has been heavily involved in the amazing results you are getting since Brazil. If we go even further, some might say that there are similarities with Lamborghini’s car concept. Then again, coincidence or underlying cheating from your side?” the journalist asked again, leaving Charles speechless.

“If there are really any coincidences, then I’m truly sorry because it was not on purpose.”

“And your daughter? Are you insisting that she hasn’t worked for you prior to the official announcement?”

“I do.” Charles stated.

“Then , I can’t wait to have your opinion on my paper which is going to be released tomorrow. One last question? How did you feel when your daughter told you that she wanted to study in Zurich by using her mother’s maiden name?”

“She what?” Charles almost screamed, caught by surprise.

Julia couldn’t breathe anymore. Her vision started to get blurry as her ears started to ring. It couldn’t happen, not today and not like that. How did they even come across that information? And suddenly her interaction with Carlos in Zandvoort took a whole new meaning. What she had perceived as silent threats were ones indeed. She felt like everyone was watching her and as she thought she was about to pass out, a steady hand was put on her shoulder to stabilize her. She looked up to find two green orbs, looking at her, worriedly.

“I got you.” Martin simply said, as he guided her outside so she could breathe and so she could be away from prying eyes.

“I have to find my dad. I have to explain. I have…”

“Julia! Oh my gosh, I’ve just watched the press conference. Are you okay?” Romy asked as she ran into the arms of her best friend who let out her distraught take the best of her.

“I want to hide. I want to leave and never come back again.”

“You’re better than that, Joolsie, you’re better than all of them! You can’t let them win without fighting, that’s not you.” she looked up to find Ethan coming towards them, Kyle and Ludwig behind him.

“And you’re not alone. We are all here for you, I mean… we are kind of responsible… we did provide you with technical information about our car.” Kyle said, scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah, you are our friend. We will get through it together. Like a family. Because that’s what you are.”

“You know Ludwig, that’s actually the first time I hear you saying something that beautiful.” Romy commented.

“Hey! I can be nice when I want to! And she is crying, I don’t want to say something stupid that will make her cry even more!”

“Joolsie, look at me. Don’t let this belittled all the hard work you put into your dream. You deserve to be where you are and even more than that. Your dad knows it, Ferrari knows it, and deep down you do too.” Ethan whispered, kneeling in front of her.

She looked at him straight in the eyes and felt instantly calmer. It would be fine. As long as he was there, as long as her friends were there, it would all be okay. But now, she had to find her dad. As they were all on their way to the Ferrari garage, where she hoped he would be, they crossed paths with the last person she wanted to see.

“Julia… I hope you liked my little welcome in the team gift.” smiled Carlos and as he took a step towards her, Ethan, Martin and Ludwig shielded Julia, silently providing her with a security she didn’t really need and want.

“I’m good, guys. I’m not scared of him.”

“Oh how your dad must feel… knowing you were ashamed of being his daughter… it surely would break my heart.”

“At least, he can’t question my loyalty. I can’t say the same about you.Betraying the team that offered you your biggest success, that’s a low I’ve never thought you would reach.”

“My biggest success is to see your dad crumbling in front of thousands of people. The sadness in his eyes, the betrayal, the anger… that was a pleasant sight.”

“Was it worth it? What did it bring you?”

“Pleasure. pride. A feeling of justice. After all this time, the little Ferrari king is getting what he deserved. You were just a means to an end, Julia. Don’t take it personally.”

“Don’t take it personally? You might just have destroyed her career, you bastard!” Ethan lost his temper.

“It’s fine. She can still work for the team, in the kitchen or warming a driver’s bed, am I right Martin?”

“Okay that’s enough! Let go of me Kyle, I’m going to kill him, I’m serious!” screamed Ethan as Kyle was trying to push him away, helped by Ludwig.

“It won’t do any good, Ethan! It won’t help her case and even less yours! You’re still under the FIA’s radar!”

“How cute. Failed mini Verstappen coming to rescue failed little Leclerc. That’s something I’ve never thought I would see.”

Julia was about to reply when Martin left the group side to punch Carlos so hard that he stumbled and fell to the ground.

“Ethan might be closely watched but I’m not and if I’m honest, it’s been a while since I’ve wanted to do this.” he said, looking at Carlos.

“I’ll make you pay, don’t forget that I’m part of the Ferrari board.”

“Not for long. you’re not the only one gathering information on possible threats Carlos. I’ve done it too and I’m not sure the board will be happy to learn about how you are under investigation in Spain for tax evasion.” Charles came out from the garage. “Or about how you corrupted Elijah and threatened his career if he wasn’t giving you the information you wanted. I would advise you to leave. And to never come back.”

Carlos got up, ironed out his suit and with one last look of hatred to the group of young adults and to Charles, left. Charles’ sad gaze fell on his daughter and he quickly diverted it and began to walk away.

“Dad! Wait! I can explain!”

“Explain what? The PR stunt? The lie about your identity in Zurich? Or about cheating? And yes, I saw your mom before arriving at the garage.”

She didn’t let him go away and decided to follow him to his office. And when he shut the door behind her, he finally looked at her, a hard look on his face that had never been addressed to her.

“Have you got the slightest idea of what you’ve just done, Julia?” It wasn’t Ju anymore. Her dad never had never called her Julia unless he was really mad which had never happened. “Is it true? And don’t try to lie your way out of it.”

“I’m…”

“Yes or no.”

“So, not only did you put Ferrari’s name at risk, but also the career of hundreds of people and that’s without mentioning the wave of disappointment from Tifosi all over the world. Rightfully so. Not only that, but your actions have repercussions on my job as well, our reputation. Your reputation. I raised you to be a driven, loyal, honest, hard worker and ambitious woman. I always taught you that you could do everything your mind was set on. That nothing could stop you. And what did you do? You betrayed me. I don’t recognise you, anymore. This job changed my daughter. Ethan changed you. This world changed you. And I’m not sure I like this version of you.”

“I just want to say that Ethan and I started as PR but it became real along the way. He did give me information about Lamborghini… I have a whole usb stick with everything on it that I can give you. Can we talk about Zurich?”

“I need time to process that my own daughter was so ashamed of me that she decided to change her name.”

“Dad… please let me explain…”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. Not now, at least. For now, I think it’s best if we postpone your role in the team to next year. So we can clear all suspicions and I have time to investigate everything.”

And that was the final blow for Julia. She looked at her badge and removed it, handing it to her dad.

“I guess I won’t need it anymore.”

Through the tears, she passed through the door without a second glance to her friends who watched her exiting the garage, in disbelief. By trying to make everyone happy, she had lost everything and only had herself to blame. She could see it all now. She had lost Ethan, she had lost her job, twice now, but most of all, she had lost herself. Her dad was right, she couldn’t recognize who she had become. And it was time for her to stop living in a perpetual state of denial and to face reality and her mistakes, but one thing was for sure, she was determined to make it right. She owed it to herself.

Ethan contemplated Julia precipitatingly leaving and wanted to follow her only to get dragged back by Kyle, telling him that she probably needed to be alone. When he saw her dad, getting out of his office he called him out, waving at him with everything he could until he finally acknowledged their presence and decided to come to them.

“Charles, I swear we can explain. I can explain! If you want to blame someone, blame me! I was the one who gave her the information, I was the one who dragged my friend with me into this mess, please get mad at me. Not at her. She went through enough, she needs her dad, not her team principal…”

“You might have been the one to give her the usb stick, she was the one who decided to use it.” Charles simply answered.

“But you don’t know the reasons! If you did, you would hate me!”

“Don’t you think I’m not aware of the PR stunt? I’m very disappointed. In both of you.”

“She loves you… she just wanted to help. And I kinda blackmailed her into all of this… I just didn’t think it would go this far.” Ethan tried to explain.

“What were you thinking of? Of course it could only lead to a disaster.”

“Yeah… well that’s the thing, I wasn’t thinking a lot back then.”

“I love my daughter more than anything else and I truly believed that I knew her inside and out. That she would never lie to me, that she would always trust me and talk to me if something was bothering her. Turns out I was wrong.” Ethan could see the tears in the team principal’s eyes and it made his heart wrenched. He had never seen him that way.

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I would understand if you didn’t want me near her and…”

“Don’t be stupid. You changed her Ethan for better and for worse, but I also know that there would be no way you would be able or want to stay away from her. You love her too much.”

“I… I mean…I do? Love her.” Ethan stuttered, feeling himself blushing.

Charles sighed.

“Excuse me, I have to do some damage control.”

Ethan sighed as well, not knowing what to do. He was done for the day and didn’t have anything else to do. He watched his friends telling him how sorry they were to have to leave him but Romy had a team meeting and Kyle and Ludwig a promotional video clip to shoot. It was now only him and Martin.

“You have a nice right hook.” Ethan said to break the awkward silence between them.

“One one hand, it feels so fucking good, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that. On the other hand, it hurts so bad. I should go to the medical center. But I couldn’t let him speak about Julia like that, it’s not right.”

“I’m glad she has you… she will need you. And don’t force me to repeat it.”

“You don’t know?” Martin replied, surprised.

“I don’t know what?”

“Julia and I. It’s over.”

“Fuck. You already fucked up? How come Saint Martin already lost the girl?”

“By calling her my ex’s name,” he grimaced.

“Wow. Even I wouldn’t have stepped that low.”

“We all have our issues, Ethan.” Martin sadly said and as he was about to leave added, “Room 324. Just in case you want to see her.”

He knew he shouldn’t, for all he knew it could have been a trap set up by Martin but he still decided to trust him and to go knock on the door. He waited for a long time before it opened to reveal Julia, her hair in a messy bun, eyes red and puffy. He noticed her winnie the pooh pajama that she always wore when she was feeling really down and that’s when he understood how bad she was. It didn’t surprise him, he had seen the way she had left the garage and how tough the day had been for her.

“I don’t want to complicate things for us. If you want me to leave…”

“It’s already complicated, Eth.” she simply said, opening her door widely.

“Eth? That’s new.”

“It’s about damn time I find you an annoying nickname.”

“I don’t dislike it. It’s quite the opposite actually.” he smiled.

“Why are you here?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. I mean… as okay as you can be.”

“This day is a nightmare, I just want to sleep and forget it ever happened. My dad hates me, I lost my job, I’m alone… how worse can it get.”

“Well first of all, your dad could never hate you. He is hurt but you’re his princess. You’ve always been. Talk to him, explain your side of things. He’ll understand. He loves you too much to not understand. Then, your job… okay. That I can’t say anything. But I can say that you’re not alone. Ludwig is right. We’re family. And family means nobody gets left behind…”

“Did you just quote Lilo and Stitch?” she cut him, almost laughing.

“Hey! It’s a nice movie, okay! But that’s not the point. Romy considers you like her sister, I know Kyle likes you even if he won’t say it and Ludwig thinks you are fun to be around. Chloe has a lot of respect for you as well and I’m sure you would like her a lot if you were hanging out together a bit more. And then, there is me. My feelings for you haven’t changed. I’m still in your corner, I’m way too deep in love with you to not be. Not sure you’ve been deserving of it lately… but that’s not the point. I can’t control what I feel. My point is, you have a lot of people who believe in you and are here for you no matter what. Don’t push us away. We want to be by your side and I know one thing, this is just a little incident on your road, Joolsie. Not the end. You’ll come back stronger. And the world is not ready for what you will become.” he calmly said, taking her hands in his and looking her in the eyes.

“How can you still have so much faith in me after what I’ve done to you? After what I put you through?” she let a tear fall on her cheek, quickly caught by Ethan.

“Because I know you better than you know yourself. You’re a fighter. You’re made to do great things and to shine, Joolsie. Don’t let anyone take away your light.”

“When have you learned to talk like this? When did you become so wise?”

“Therapy. You don’t even know how much I pay Sofia to make me less of an asshole.”

“Don’t change too much please.. I love the asshole in you. It makes you, you.”

He chuckled and saw a twinkle in her eye. It made him proud that even after everything, he was still able to make her at least a little bit happy.

Author's note: Welcome to the climax of Gold Rush: Spa. A lot is going to happen in the next chapters, I hope you're ready.

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[birubilirubin]

Thanks to someone I rechecked the dialog in Conan

付き合うことになった

You are going out with her.

彼女を潜入するために付き合うんでしょう？

Aren't you going out with her to infiltrate?

二人の女は同時に愛せるほど器用な性分じゃないでね。

I'm not dexterous enough to love two women at the same time.

The plot goes like this:

Akai approaches Akemi – Approached her to gain her trust or to make her fall in love with him and began dating - Akemi introduces him to Shiho as a lover - Became close friends with Shiho- Infiltrated the organization through Shiho’s connections

In the dialogue above, we can know the timeline was that he has not infiltrated the organization, and he wasn't dating Akemi at that time, he just met her and there was a love bombing process to gain her trust or to make her fall in love for a few days or months. It was not that he just met her and then suddenly asked her out, unless she's really a love brain and crazy about him.

器用な性分じゃない =不器用/ 無器用

不器用 (Not very dexterous / Bad at doing things)

It means that he is not good at communicating, not good at socializing, not good at getting along like a couple.

So 愛せる doesn't refer to the literal meaning of "Love", but it refers to the contextual meaning of "Doing all the things that couples do", and he's not good at handling it. So, the indication is that he was not in 2 boats at the same time.

So the 2 women are still referring to Akemi and Jodie.

Because it's hard to find the original text. So, I only heard from the animation. So maybe there are wrong words.

84さい、嘘、本当は.....

I'm 84 years old, kidding, actually I....

Interrupted by Ai's hat falling off

....ますます興味ぶかい魅力的...

You're getting more and more interesting and fascinating (because Conan can figure out the bomber from just a few clues).

８４歳バアバに言われたかねよ

I don't want to be praised by an 84-year-old grandmother

あなたの似合い18歳よ、なんてね。

I'm 18 years old just like you, I'm kidding.

えっ??

Huh??

The full sentence becomes like this

84歳、嘘、本当はあなたの似合い１８歳よ、なんてね。

I'm 84 years old, it's a lie, I'm actually 18 like you, Just kidding.

Huh?? (You're really 18 years old??)

(So it's not ambiguous right)

まだ糸は切れていない

The thread has not been cut (Their destiny has not been cut)

糸= 運命  (thread = Destiny / Bond)

Title of this chapter 運命の人 (The destined person)

This chapter tells a lot about Akai Shuichi, from the appearance of the fake Akai, Jodie and Akai’s past, and Subaru also appears. So, the destined person refers to Akai Shuichi.

Shiratori is the one destined for Kobayashi.

Aoyama also used Ayumi's mouth to explicitly say 放っとけない人は、好きな人です (The person you worry about is the person you like).

Who is the person who worries about Haibara the most, installing bugs everywhere, having his subordinates guard her or tap her when he has to leave Kudo’s house, forbidding her from going to the crime scene, picking her up when she didn’t come home?.

Akemi said "The only thing to worry about is you, Shiho", and Akemi loved Shiho.

The title of this chapter is ‘白い雪黒い影’ (White Snow Black Shadow). All chapter titles are clues, it applies in Conan.

When Shiho first appeared the chapter was titled 白い世界 (The White World).

Thanks to Gin, we know shiho is White Snow 白い雪, and she likes Scarlet 緋色

The kanji is the same as the kanji in the chapter "The emergence of scarlet". 緋色

白い雪 White Snow refers to Shiho. It was because Shiho still has her own sense of justice although she's been in the dark world since she was a baby.

黒い影 The black shadow refers to Akai. At that time, Akai was still suspected of being black.

So the narrative trick played out like this:

Akai saw Ran, and he thought of a stupid woman (×)

Haibara saw Ran, and she thought of Akemi (×)

So X = Stupid woman = Akemi.

The animation/movie team and the most fans’ logic are like that.

"I knew it was the wrong person"

Akai probably heard that a brown-haired girl (Sonoko) was following the doctor (He already knew the doctor was Vermouth)

When Subaru met Ran and Sonoko, he immediately noticed Sonoko first. "You, browned-haired girl", he said it to Sonoko.

It can be seen that the buildings marked in both pictures are very similar, and there is no fence on the street. So it was the same place where Miyano Shiho first appeared and was shot by Gin.

The most important point is that there is a phone booth in that place. Akai also came out of the phone booth.

Then, in Vermouth's apartment there was a Shiho photo, but during the full moon chapter, Akai met Haibara, but he still said "The person I was waiting for didn't show up".

So, I assume Akai has two different targets from the FBI, I.e:

1. Finding Shiho

2. Confronting Gin

He probably thought he could find those two people with him following Vermouth, but the FBI knew nothing about them.

So his revenge on Gin was not for Akemi.

The only witness to Akemi's murder was Vodka. How could Akai know the person who shot Akemi was Gin?. It could have been another member.

That's why Akai's actions towards Gin were all related to Shiho not Akemi. These three people have a story, and only they know about it.

Then, I look at the vocabulary he used was complex and romantic, and have many implied expressions, and comparing his dialog with Ayumi's, his dialog was rarely used in daily conversation (Well, although it's an Oresama character's dialog, and don't use this grammar in daily conversation, or you will get slapped by others). Every dialog box of every character is always carefully thought out, right. So I think Aoyama designed Akai's character as a character who is quite dark, deep and has hidden feelings (deep affection).

For example:

愛しい愛しい宿敵(こいびと) 愛しい and 恋人 can not only be interpreted as dearest love, but can also be interpreted as the person he misses. So it can be interpreted as (Gin who I miss).

So 恋人(こいびと) is not referring to Akemi.

Aoyama is traditional Japanese. The use of these words is often found in classical Japanese literature (Osamu Dazai, Akutagawa, etc)

The shadow is very deep, right.

File 874

From what Bourbon said, "I met your mother and your sister".

Then Shiho (Kid) said, "You are the rival of my sister's boyfriend, Moroboshi Dai. I heard from my sister that you don't get along."

"My sister's boyfriend" in Ai's mind this misunderstanding is still not resolved. Ai didn't know it was just a fake relationship. So it wasn't Shu-Ake's official CP hammer.

"I heard from my sister" We all clearly knew Akemi is just an outsider, she wouldn't know the problem with Rye and Bourbon. Based on Rye's character he wouldn't tell her about it either. Then based on Aoyama's interview, he said "Akemi didn't remember Bourbon". It is a contradiction.

It can be inferred that "I met your mother and your sister" was when he was a child, and Akemi has forgotten about him.

So this "I heard from my sister" is Aoyama's narrative trick. Because Aoyama wanted to hide Shuichi-Shiho's close relationship. He used a patch sentence (I heard from my sister) to cover up the original information.

Then, I saw some theories from Chinese fans who argued, the dialog probably like this because I also forgot it, "Like two sisters (姉妹), I know your action".

Actually, there is no need to use complex logic to analyze the dialogue in Conan, just use simple logic. "Sisters" still refers to Shiho and Akemi not Vermouth and Yukiko. "Your action is just like two sisters" This action doesn't refer to Haibara's action of crying silently, but Haibara's action of sacrificing herself for others just like Akemi sacrificed herself for Shiho, and Akai clearly knew it. So this dialog doesn't describe Akai knowing Akemi well (because cring silently). So, the girl who cries silently still refers to Shiho (Haibara). Akai only knew Akemi sacrificed herself for Shiho (from the message she sent).

Then, In Conan, the information we get from each character is not synchronized. It happens in the case of Subaru and Wakasa's identities, so you can't line them up linearly, but you have to look at each character's perspective.

Some of Ran's behaviors can refer to several characters depending on the perspective of each character describing Ran, so Ran doesn't just seems like Akemi because they both have long black hair.

For example, in one of the daily cases. A murderer saw Ran and he saw his girlfriend's shadow because Ran's voice was similiar to his girlfriend.

In Ai's mind, Ran's characteristics, bright, kind-hearted, protect her, was the same as Akemi.

Ran wanted to go home because she was worried about Conan. But Ai suddenly shouted at her to stop her, seeing her sister's shadow. This is Ai's guilt for Akemi because she couldn't stop her at that time.

But for Akai who only always saw Ran crying alone was similar to Shiho.

And in Ai's mind Ran's behavior of always holding back her crying, pretending to smile was just like herself. So that's why Ai understands Ran's feelings because they have the same behavior like pretending to be strong.

It's in chapter 335 A Gift from The Wife, sorry I don't have a picture.

This chocolate is smiling, but its face is sad.

A face torn with pain and tears, she pushed herself too hard

Mistranslation in the English version

It should be a dialogue box for Yamamura

The dialog should be like this

"If you get in contact with Hiro-chan again. You'll talk to him about me..."

Look at the angle when Shinichi said to Ai. It has the same angle, and it's a lens language where the conversation doesn't use subject and object if there are only two of them there.

In the English version the object becomes "Her"

"I will protect her......"

If he loved her, Akai should have gone to save her when he knew Akemi was in danger, or he can spend 1000 episodes taking care of her grave. But instead he appeared to meet her younger sister with a smiling face every day.

Haibara said 守ってくれるんでしょう to Conan

....んです is an emphasis sentence.

She's emphasizing that Conan will protect her right?. Because there was someone who wanted to protect her, but he didn't keep his promise.

Spoiler M26

Many of the character settings are very OOC and slightly out of the manga. First, Akai's reaction when he found out Ai was kidnapped was calm, while in the manga he was looking for her all over the city with a sad face. Second, How could he miss it, so all those bugs are useless. Third, Ai heard Akai's voice through the intercom of the diving goggles, but she didn't respond at all, and after Conan started answering the call, but her attention was only on Conan, and she only responded with "Kudo-kun", it is not Ai-chan who will think of Moroboshi Dai when she hears that someone likes to drink black coffee. Fourth, Conan said "そんな颜してんじゃねーよ" (Don't make faces like that) to Ai-chan. The production team seemed to run out of ideas and just Ctrl+C - Ctrl+V another CP's phrase and pasted it on the popular CP, although the structure is slightly different from Akai's "そんな颜するな". Fifth, the Conan-Ai kiss that seems like a copy-paste of the Conan-Ran kiss in M2. My first reaction after reading it was that there were a lot of character setups that didn't make sense and didn't match the plot of the original manga, and it was again a recycling of the previous plot.

[sacredglitch]

i have eeped, woken up and cried

I have some thoughts. MW3 spoilers below.

Major thing out of the way; everyone is gonna experience the campaign at different lengths depending on skill and difficulty they choose. I started around 9/10pm and finished at 5am, so it took me quite some time, predominantly with issues in the Weapons Free missions and the Ally AI just never backing me up? Felt a lil like Rudy in the Ghost Team mission yknow?

But it was a fun experience in gameplay standpoint. There was elements of both MW and MWII alongside some new things that I still gotta get used to once MP drops. But story wise?

Something felt weird. Like it wasn't as consise as MWII with its storytelling. All that took, what? A few days? Maybe even weeks to come to completion. With this game, bar the flashback mission, I never knew how closely related each mission was unless it was explicitly clear, like Passenger and the mission with Farah inspecting the debris. You know that was only hours apart from one another.

Characters also felt a little odd. Like there was moments where it felt like yeah, these are the crew I know and others where it's like....who am I listening to right now? There was just an air of tension with it all, and yes with who they were dealing with ofc there's tension...but idk again the flow wasn't there like the other two games.

Okay elephant in the room; Soap and Makarov. The amount of times Soap was on the verge of whipping out his pistol or knife and just ending it and no one letting him? If Makarov was such a major threat; sometimes the information he may or may not have had just isn't worth it. Thousands would be alive if Johnny was just let loose and take out the trash. But because he wasn't he's now dead.

And Makarov lives. What the fuck, Activision? Infinity Ward? Fucking Sledgehammer?! What was the point of killing off someone who they know damn well is beloved in the fandom (yes, he died in the OG but hear me out) as is his actor, let the baddie get away, and then just....end it with the 141 spreading his ashes. No revenge for Soap, no honouring what he wanted from the beGINNING, no nothing. Just somewhat dull words from the team, his ashes spread and roll credits.

It's giving rushed story for no fucking reason. I wouldn't be so mad if they just did something after that. Sure, one could say this is them building up to MWIV but it also could have been dealt with one more mission. It truly feels like a slap to the face for the fans, cause we know OG Soap's death was agonising but it had its resolution with Price honouring his men.

If this was the second game then it would also make more sense, build up to the conclusion. But no, this was what most of us expected to be the big finale of Makarov and this current story of Modern Warfare, and it wasn't. Just more prolonged waiting that they're probably going to rush to get out next year. It's truly a shame on the big trio working on this game, but also towards the new fans and in my eyes, Neil too. This was his big break in sorts and it's clear by fan interaction he loves being Soap. I'm glad he seems to be the main protagonist of Zombies which makes me hope he'll be in more things or some pre campaign things but damn. Imagine getting the role of a beloved character, giving them an incredible performance just to be shot point blank and given a dull ending. That would make me feel betrayed but ofc I won't speak for Neil, I have 0 clue how he feels on all this. Hell he could be all for it. Just...truly sucks from a fans perspective.

One final thing is the questions and confusion that ig are open ended because whoop de doo another game, more cash for Activision. For starters; who was the 'Shadow' giving Makarov intel? Was it supposed to be Shepard? Considering he was kidnapped and all that would make sense, but Makarov specifically said Shadow. In my eyes if he had meant Shepard, he would have said US Official or something.

Speaking of Shadows; why did Graves sell him out? What's he gonna gain from that? A redemption arc? Fuck that shit I didn't spend almost two hours fighting the tank for him to come back and be all "am sowwy"

Was Urzikstan truly cleared of any wrong doing or is it one of those things where it's like "Welp it's one General's word against our opinions". Also not to get into irl things but seeing some of the stuff during the Passenger mission had me thinking of how the world is currently with certain ongoing fights. Sometimes COD gets the realism down.

Maybe it was because of the situation they were in and how big the threat was, but there wasn't much of a dynamic going on with the teams. At most, there was some Soap and Ghost banter, and then Graves with his Shadows but that was kinda it. No idle chatter just head in the game type of deal. Does make sense ofc but maybe that's why the characters really felt off at times.

One that's just a personal thing; since it's confirmed that at least in 2019, Price, Soap and Ghost knew one another, makes sense cause the trio were SAS, but it's got me thinking why is Ghost the only one allowed to call him Johnny? It was teased in MWII with the interaction in Prison Break but...it's not been elaborated on. Even Price, when Soap was losing his shit over Makarov in the Heli, called him John.

What did Ghost do or say that Soap decided he could allow him to call him Johnny? This isn't anyway me asking "OooOO, are they fruity???" no I'm curious. If it was a thing he allowed his superiors that he was friendly with to say, then Price would be included that. Alejandro and Rudy would be included. What makes Ghost so special?

The last thing that my grief riddled mind can think of is where is Soap's family? I don't think I can truly believe he doesn't have one. It's canon he joined because of his cousin so...why was the 141 the ones to spread his ashes? Again it could have been his wish and all...shit just also adds to the rushed story feeling. I ain't asking for the MacTavishs to make an appearance or be canon or whatever but as someone who has a loved ones ashes, the small urn you get would have made more sense. That they decided with the ashes his family gave them to throw them off the cliffside in what I assume is Scotland.

If he didn't have family then holy shit it makes his death even more hurtful but no way impactful.

I'm just rambling angrly now so I'll stop my thoughts. Overall the game was fun, interesting concept with the Weapons Free missions but the story was lackluster compared to the previous games, as well as a slap to the face for Soap's character. It was just there for the sake of sadness.

I wasn't expecting a happy ending, I was just hoping for a honourable conclusion.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Tabula Rasa: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

Brian gets up, but he can't stop staring at Nina. He is very pissed at her, and you know he remembers exactly who he is and what he did. If he ever were to go free, you know he'd kill again. You get up and approach Hotch who gathers his things. He pauses when he sees the notepad in front of Brian that he could have used to take notes.

There is a single tear stained into the paper.

Hotch looks up, and you know he sees it too.

"Hotch, he's starting to remember. The anger that I felt when he saw his mother is only present in someone who would remember. That tear stain only confirms this theory."

"Come on."

You and Hotch leave the courtroom to find Cece on the phone with a smile on her face. She believes she will win this case, and her expression shows that.

"Cece, I need to talk to you."

"Listen, I don't want to jinx this, but something tells me I'm going to be buying your team a round of drinks when this is over," she chuckles.

"I think he's getting his memory back. He was crying in there when his mother was on the stand. You don't have that kind of reaction unless you're connected."

"Maybe you're right, but the fact is it doesn't really matter anymore."

"Doesn't it? I mean, don't you want to know who you're putting away?"

She doesn't get the chance to answer because every radio on every officer in the vicinity goes off. Something happened, and you know Brian is in the center of it. You, Cece, and Hotch rush to the center of attention, and the officer who was in charge of transporting Brian is injured.

"What's going on?" Cece demands.

"Are you okay? What happened?" you ask her gently.

"He ambushed me and escaped. He has my gun."

You and Hotch rush out of the courthouse with Spencer right behind you. He saw you two running outside, and he knew he needed to be part of this. However, Brian is gone, and he might kill someone because of it.

There are officers outside tending to a woman who got injured because of Brian. He stole her keys and her car after he hurt her.

"Who is she?" you ask an officer on the scene.

"She's a law clerk. Matloff stuck a gun in her face and pulled her out of her car. It's a late model Nissan."

"Did you put out an APB?"

"Statewide. We'll block every road out of town."

"Don't forget service roads. He knows them all."

"You know this guy, right? Any idea where he might be headed?"

"It all depends on who he is," Spencer answers.

Lester, Brian's lawyer, steps out of the courthouse towards his car, and Hotch stops him from going to it.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?"

"You talked to Matloff every day. Did you know that his memory was coming back?"

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Lester scoffs.

"He can't help us. Matloff has a paranoid personality. Even if he was aware he wouldn't have told anyone," Spencer says.

"Get over to the jail and into his cell. Just look for any clue that might tell us where he's headed."

Spencer leaves without you, and Hotch takes out his phone to inform the rest of the team what's happening, though, you know they might have a clue if they're watching the news. Once done, he places them on speakerphone so you can hear them too.

"Assuming his memory is coming back, where's he headed?"

"Simple answer is his birth mother. His victims were brunettes. Typology suggests that he was projecting rage at her," Derek says.

"He can't. She's with us, protected."

"If he doesn't have a specific target, he'll either run or go on a spree."

"Did we do this? With the brain test? Reintroducing all those memories? Is it possible that it could have acted as a cognitive rehabilitation?" Emily asks.

"Emily, killing is in his nature. Whether he remembers or not, he's still a killer. That has nothing to do with us."

Spencer calls as soon as he finds something, and it's something concrete. Darci was found in a clearing in the woods next to a waterfall, and since Darci's father is the only one who showed up at court, and that Darci was Brian's last victim, you believe that he is going there.

Hotch doesn't want to go in this blind, so he takes every available agent and officer to the woods just in case Brian decides to shoot his way out of this one. This wooded area is thousands of acres, so Brian could be anywhere, and the wind isn't helping the energy stay in one place.

Spencer believes he is at the waterfall where Darci was found, so you check there first before anywhere else.

"I figured this guy would have headed straight out of town. Why'd he come back here?" an officer asks.

"He's looking for himself. He just got his memories back, and he's confused about who he is."

Everyone heads towards the waterfall, and in the tall grass off in the distance, you see Brian sitting on the ground with something in his arms... someone. You can see the back of her brunette head, but you can't see anything else.

"That's him. He's got a girl with him and she's not moving."

"Alright, let's move in," the officer eagerly says.

"No, wait. If we rush him, he might try to kill her and himself," Spencer says.

"She's dead," you say and look at Hotch. "She's been dead for a while. He's holding a skeleton. Still, he has a gun, and he could kill himself or one of us if he feels pressured."

"How do you want to do this?"

"I want to go in there myself. Y/N, you need to be a shooter. I want your guys high and wide, but I need you close. Can you do that?"

"With this tall grass? Easy," you shrug and take out your gun.

"You think he's gonna shoot his way out?" Spencer asks.

"I don't want to be the only gun in there if he does."

You leave the ground and maneuver throughout the trees until you're in front of Brian. You can clearly see the skeleton face of the dead woman who has been there for years. He must have put a wig on her because that's the only explanation as to why she has a full head of hair on her.

You get low to the ground and practically slither your way through the grass until you get a clear shot of Brian. He doesn't see you, but then again, he's not really paying attention to you.

"I got a shot," you mutter so that everyone who has an earpiece can hear you. "Let me know when."

"Brian. I want you to show me your hands. Hands, Brian!" Hotch yells when he doesn't listen.

"Stop! Stop there, please," Brian says emotionally.

"Who is she?"

"She was my first. The minute my feet hit the ground, I knew right where to find her. I killed them. I killed them all."

Brian does remember, but he doesn't want to be that person anymore. Still, he needs to pay for what he's done whether he likes it or not.

"You remember."

"I remember everything. Every moment. Every tiny detail, but it's still not real. It's like the memories belong to someone else."

"Well, maybe in a way they do. But you still have to pay for what's been done."

"If I'm gonna be put to death, I might as well die right here," he says without moving.

"Brian. The court may show you mercy, but you have to earn it. If you believe you're a different person, then prove it and do the right thing."

Brian doesn't want to be this person, so instead of shooting his way out as you're sure he's thought about, he tosses the stolen gun off to the side so he's unarmed. He's not going to be a threat, even as Hotch moves in on him, so you stand up and put your gun back in its holster.

Cece is more than happy about the outcome of the trial, and she is all smiles when she enters the police station. You're still in Virginia, but you're on the other side of it from where the BAU is located.

"It's over. Matloff is pleading out."

"Congratulations."

"I couldn't have done it without you. First round's on me."

"No, we're gonna take a rain check. We've got a long drive."

"Of course. Lock up when you leave."

Cece leaves, and that just leaves you, Hotch, and Spencer.

"Darci's father brought a gun to the courthouse today," Spencer spills.

You gave the gun to the lead detective on the case knowing he'd know what to do with it.

"You're kidding. You think he was serious about using it?"

"Yes," you answer. "He was looking for closure."

"Do you think he'll get some now?"

"No. I mean, people's emotional lives aren't linear like that. To say that a killer's conviction can just suddenly bring peace to a man, isn't possible, in my opinion."

"Well, I guess he has to try. I mean, when it comes right down to it, what choice does he have?"

"I'd like to get Darci's watch out of evidence. I think her father deserves to have it back."

"Okay."

After Spencer gets it from evidence, and you and Hotch finish packing up the office, Hotch drives by Darci's house where her father still lives. You watch as Spencer talks with Mr. Corbett, and gives him back her watch.

You just hope he's going to be alright.

"What though the radiance that was once so bright, be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower; We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind." - William Wordsworth

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[mygwenchan]

Normally I would say "Just ask Aob then?" But idk if they can trust him. Aob is still pissy at them and he has a gun so... maybe not the best guy to talk to right now

We get another couple of clues! Nant was talking to someone on the phone in that clip. But he didn't use his regular phone, that one was already hidden at home in the bathroom. Why did he use a new phone? To make sure no one could track him? Where is that second phone now? Who would Nant still want to be in contact with, so he'd give them his new phone number?

Then we have the laptop: Nant still had it with him when he left Hotel Harvey on the 11th. Zouey and Nont think that Nant must've been on his way to Nuth's place. I kind of thought that Teena and Nuth live in the same dorm? Or is it two buildings that are next to each other? (maybe the translation is a bit off here idk, I'm slightly confused.. someone draw a map or something pls ;;)

But I don't think Nuth's place would make that much sense? He and Nant already weren't a couple anymore at that point. Unless Nuth has been lying to us that is. Hmmm 🤔

Anyway, we can narrow it down to the following: On the 11th Nant escaped from Hotel Harvey. He took a second phone and a laptop with him. He didn't go back to his own dorm. Instead he was in close proximity to three locations: Teena's dorm, Nuth's dorm and the Playboyy club (which is next to Teena's dorm). That's where the laptop was left and later on found by Phop. So I guess that's where Nant got kidnapped?

Yes, please get the baddie bunch back together! Zouey and Nont are working well as a team, but it's the random ideas that Captain and First bring into the mix that really help with solving the mystery

I don't really know how to interpret Zouey's expression here... It's kind of a "fuck man, shit is really hitting the fan now. I'm totally screwed" expression

[aeoki]

SS Finals - Epilogue 8

Location: SS Finals Live Stage Characters: Touri, Eichi, Hiyori & Nagisa

Touri: …Thank you, Hiyori-sama.

Hiyori: Heheh. I haven’t done anything warranting a thank-you, though.

Touri: No matter what the reason was, it doesn’t change the fact that you still saved me when I collapsed. You protected me and gave me strength to stand up on my own two feet once more.

No. You inspired me and gave me a dream. Did you know? I wanted to be an idol after I saw your performance as part of “fine”.

Hiyori: So I’ve heard. Well, it’s an honour.

…I didn’t really want to be an idol in the beginning.

But Nagisa-kun kept saying how he wanted to be one, so maybe he influenced me…

I didn’t enrol into Yumenosaki because I wanted to be an idol – I did so because I wanted to walk beside Nagisa-kun. It’s not a very nice motive, huh.

Afterwards, a lot of awful things happened and I actually started hating it all. 

The practices are always hard, and there are times where you can never be rewarded no matter how hard you try…

But I feel alive when I’m on stage.

Ahh, I’m right here! I’m alive! I love this job because it makes me feel that way! I’m really glad I chose this path!

It doesn’t matter what started it! Doesn’t matter if it was for money or fame!

But even so, if we’re able to stand on stage as fellow idols, then we should share these feelings of happiness and euphoria, right?

Let’s make it shine even more! We’ll do it all together!

Let’s smile and shower everyone with a joy that’s strong enough to blow away all of their sorrows and darkness!

Touri: Yeah…☆

(That’s fine for now – for when we’re on stage.)

(Right now, I’ll just be a part of this radiance.)

(I did collapse from the weight of the hardships and worries of it all.)

(But I wanted to look better! I wanted to be someone exceptional without having to feel ashamed!)

(But I still have so far to go in order to be the ideal me…)

(That’s really frustrating.)

(But tomorrow, I’ll be an even better version of myself. I’ll believe in that and I’ll fight against the cruel reality once I’m off stage.)

(I’ll resolve my issues one at a time and grow into someone strong and amazing.)

(I’ll be someone I’m proud of and I’ll shine even brighter on stage!)

(Just like Hiyori-sama, Eichi-sama and the other idols I respect! If I fall down, I’ll get up over and over again, and I’ll soar through the sky!)

(I’ll brighten up the world! Just like the sun!)

“♪~♪~♪”

Hiyori: “~......”

Nagisa: …What a happy ending.

Eichi: Do you really think so?

Nagisa: …Of course not. The pressing matter has been taken care of – that’s all there is to it.

…I committed a crime. I eliminated a human being due to my negative emotions.

…That sin cannot disappear. It won’t be allowed to.

…I think I’ve understood your feelings a bit, Eichi-kun.

Eichi: Really, now? I still have no clue what you could possibly be feeling, though.

It seems you’re able to deceive others with those pretty words you utter like a holy saint. But you can’t fool me, Nagisa-kun.

Nagisa: …………

Eichi: You should have obtained a great power this time.

You must have gotten a reward for teaming up with “Gatekeeper” to subjugate his arch-enemy, “Priest”.

That’s the sort of man “Gatekeeper” is. He’s rather upright – his nature and position won’t allow him to move unless he has calculated all of his losses and gains.

That’s a truth I confirmed when I negotiated with him during “SANCTUARY”.

“Gatekeeper” left satisfied.

“Priest” may have been his arch-enemy, but was defeating him after leaving him alone all that time really meaningful for him?

No. He also obtained something else he wanted.

He obtained the legitimate successor of the God he loved.

Nagisa: …………

Eichi: Subaru-kun’s father didn’t want that. “Priest” was just a substitute and was lacking in ability and everything else.

But you’d be the perfect person to inherit that position and status.

That was proven with how you twisted everything around your finger and led all these events to unfold in the way they did – You have the skills for it.

You’ll become the next god. A new god. “Gatekeeper” must have interrogated “Priest” and gotten information about all the vested interests that exist in this industry.

But “Gatekeeper” doesn’t have an interest in idols. He already learnt that he'd only burn his hand if he touched this industry carelessly.

So he can’t use the thing he went through so much trouble to obtain.

That’s why he’ll leave all those things to the legitimate successor of the god he loved. There was someone else that god loved apart from Subaru-kun’s father.

That’s you. You’ll rule over the industry as the new king of darkness who will inherit everything from “Priest’s” assets to his personal connections and influential power.

You’ll control it all from this idol industry – from the world we all love.

Nagisa: …………

Eichi: Money is still money no matter how dirty it is.

The clean power that was purified in a ceremony called “SS” as well as everything “Priest” had in his possession will be yours.

You act like the sore loser when in fact you’re the real winner in all of this. You pretend to be a pious martyr but in reality, you became the new god.

An entity so great that it could even become an object of belief.

The next, latest god.

What do you intend on doing with that power?

Nagisa: …Nothing currently.

…I won’t say it’s not as though I wished to become god. But everything I gained this time was a reward I did not expect.

…I’ll take my time to think about how I’ll use it all once the new year is here.

…But I’ll say just one thing, Eichi-kun.

…You bear a human vessel but you’ll continue to distort the world like a god.

…You’ll continue to warp this reality according to your dream.

…If you end up going mad or become filled with malice and turn into a calamity that will destroy everything…

…Then, this time, I will stop you before everything comes to an end.

…I won’t pretend I never saw anything ever again.

…Surely, ”divine punishment” awaits the foolish humans who trespass God's dominion.

Eichi: I’ll bear that in mind.

Oh, but, hehe ♪ I shouldn’t be delighted but I can’t help but stifle a laugh. It seems an interesting story will continue to unfold in the future.

My relationship with Touri, you – a new threat, the idol industry that continues to decay despite the source of its corruption being eradicated… There is a huge pile of issues and the causes for my headaches are never-ending.

But it seems that’s precisely why I cannot kick the bucket just yet.

No. It would be a waste for it to come to a fine (end) right here ♪

Nagisa: …I feel the same way, old friend.

…I cannot stop here because of the weight of my sins.

Nagisa: …There is a vast world in front of us.

…Let’s turn it into an Eden where the people I love can live there happily with a smile.

…In order to make that happen, we’ll move forwards while shouldering our sins – one step at a time.

Eichi: Together, we will, Nagisa-kun.

Nagisa: …Right, Eichi-kun.

…I won’t let anything go this time.

“♪~♪~♪”

Eichi: “♪~♪~♪”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter

[alverrann]

Season 1, episode 19: Red Tape

Spoilers ahead, folks, so those who haven't seen it have been warned.

For those who have seen the episode, here's a little synopsis to jog your memory ... Someone is leaking information on search warrents, and it's killed officers who are ambushed or bombed when they head in.

At the beginning, Tubbs heads in with a pair of young cops (Eddie and Bobby), only for one (Eddie) to be killed in a pre-planned explosion.

Tubbs is furious. He feels like cops are being told to keep serving search warrants and no one is trying to protect them. He sort of loses it and quits the force, yelling at everyone who tries to help.

He's offered a job by the same guy who is getting the other cops killed, and he accepts. He gives information to the guy and it really looks for a moment like he's betrayed the team.

Of course he hasn't. Of course he quit the force in a big show to lure the guy out. The guy ends up getting killed, but so does Bobby, the young partner of the cop who died in Tubbs' arms at the beginning. Bobby thought Tubbs had really turned.

Classic Miami Vice.

Now every single time I watch this episode I'm left with the same stinking question. When did the whole Vice team get in on the fact that Rico was acting?

Did they know at all?

Cuz it sure looks to me like Rico actually flipped his lid for a bit, realized that he could use it to find who'd been leaking information, then called Castillo and told him.

I mean at the beginning when Eddie dies in his arms, he yells in anger.

And there's no way they planned Eddie dying to catch cop killers. So at least in the beginning for sure, Tubbs is genuinely pissed.

There's a break after, where we happily listen to the MV theme, and when the episode resumes there is already a whole boatload of other people at the crime scene. Tubbs is still furious, mouthing off to the investigator who's come to take his statement.

Now it's totally conceivable that offscreen Castillo and Tubbs and Crockett have come up with a plan for Tubbs to "go off the deep end." Right before or after this scene would have been the perfect time to put that plan into place.

But if that's what happened, then I've got a problem with it.

Tubbs goes off the deep end, sure, quitting the force, yelling at a poor woman and breaking her display case, he rails at Sonny, who does his best to keep calm ...

But then there's a scene with Switek in the office after hours. Switek asks if Tubbs is really giving up and leaving, and Tubbs pretty much tells him off.

Switek mentions Zito, saying that he wanted to leave after his partner's death, but that he kept with it. Then he says that he is just offering Tubbs a shoulder to lean on.

Tubbs says, "Well consider yourself leaned on."

And this is the crux of my problem. In every other situation it's completely possible that Tubbs was putting on a show. It's possible that he's playing it up so that he can find the leak.

But in this instance there are only two people in the office. Him and Swi. That means he had absolutely no call to say what he did unless he was really, genuinely angry - or unless Switek isn't in on the act.

So.

Let's say I'm right. Rico started out genuinely furious, but realized he could use it to find the leak. He goes cowboy cop, not telling anyone his plan until they ask him to give information.

He gives true information and then calls the office and let's them know what he's done, finally clueing them in on his Lone Ranger act.

Now if this is the case (as it potentially could be) there is no fallout or rancor from the rest of the team. So I can only assume that it all happened off-screen.

...

Of course I realize that the true reason behind all of this is to trick us - the audience - into believing that Rico has quit, so they can grandly reveal that he didn't at the end.

It's not an uncommon plot-line, but this version of it leaves far more questions than it answers.

What do you guys think happened (in-universe)?

[antihibikase2]

Immediately after Hilbert Blackburn continues his challenge, only two more left, Grimsley Slater hears that a challenger is simultaneously challenging the league as he is- except the challenger started out with Caitlin, then Shauntal, then Marshal, and were now heading towards his chambers.

He wonders which between him and Blackburn would claim the throne first, if that peculiar challenger- N, hasn't beaten Alder yet.

He wants to put his bets on Blackburn; that kid was something else.

He hears someone step into his chambers, and Grimsley readies a coin in his fingers to be flipped- if the supposed heroes of Ideals and Truth were on a race against time, then who could this secret third challenger be?

The Heart, maybe.

Grimsley snorts a little.

As if The Heart had any truth or ideals to call his own.

The challenger climbs up the steps to his platform, accompanied by a Liepard. A totebag hangs off their shoulder and a pair of red glasses rest on their face.

The sight of their hair- almost black, but just the same shade as Grimsley's under the light, gives Grimsley enough of a clue on who this challenger is.

Still, they state their name.

"My name is Cheren," They say, shoving one fist into their pocket. "Cheren Slater. I'm your brother."

This one doesn't beat around the bush at all.

Like a Fake Out, they've caught Grimsley off guard and completely stumped on what to say next; the information they had just dropped on him hasn't even fully sunk.

They don't even give him a chance to open his mouth as they speak next. "You know, 'little Cheri'?"

That strange child, that crybaby sibling of his, the one that nearly drowned in- "Little Cheri?"

"Little Cheri," They repeat again, one of their fingers pointing at themselves. "Unless, you really did forget about me?"

Oh.

There was a twinge of bitterness in their tone, the brief look of sadness and resentment in their eyes.

Grimsley supposes such a reaction was fair- he hadn't come home for any of little Cheri's birthdays since they were.. seven? Eight? Nine?

Dragons. He couldn't even remember how long it's been.

He shakes his head, an amused smile finally forming on his face as realization sunk in. "No, no. I didn't. How could I forget about my little Cheri?"

For as off-putting and admittedly creepy Grimsley found them at times, little Cheri was still his baby sibling, one that he had promised himself to look after one way or another- even if he could not be around physically.

Yet, he knows he's failed in that aspect- sending over gifts could not make up for his lack of presence.

Little Cheri no longer stared off into the distance or quietly ran off from their babysitter to get into some trouble.

Little Cheri now had eight badges under their belt, a team of five, and was radiating an aura of an exemplary trainer, one worthy of facing against the champion.

Little Cheri had grown so much.

And with that frown of his in his face, they take out a Pokeball from his totebag, and Grimsley could feel the restlessness of the sea.

"I said my name is Cheren," Though his gaze is icy, he seemed more embarrassed than anything; like a child being doted on by an embarrassing relative. "Cheri is fine, but I'd rather reserve that for close friends and family,"

Ouch!

Well, that too was fair.

Grimsley couldn't be expected to call himself family if he had spent most of his life away-

"And you're Elite Four Grimsley right now, aren't you? Not Giima," There's a slight look of amusement as he says that. "So, get it together."

Somehow, somewhere, little Cheri had learn to become quite a blunt child.

Not that Grimsley complained.

Family reunions and catching up could wait. For now, he takes one of his Pokeballs into his own palm, readying himself and his partners for battle.

He chooses not to do his usual spiel this time, instead, mirroring his brother's almost smug look.

"Very well then. Challenger Cheren, show me if you're still that crybaby from before!"