#will I delete this later? That was quite the weakness i laid out for ya

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Sometimes I forget how sensitive I am and then something really tiny upsets me and I’m like ‘DAMN bitch your skin made of fuckin rice paper or something????’

[adverb-slut]

To Be Human (Fanfiction) Part 1/?

it got deleted again ... why the everloving fuck?  Ah well, here’s the link to the AO3 version again.  

Title:

To Be Human

Summary:

When a mysterious force attacks the Devildom, the brothers are forced to turn to their Father in the Celestial Realm for help. However, the Almighty is still miffed at the seven due to their involvement in the Great Celestial War, and sends them to seek asylum in the one place they have yet to make their mark—the Human World.

Without the help of their beloved MC, the brothers must learn to assimilate into this strange new world, all while trying to figure out who is responsible for the destruction of the Devildom and take back their home.

Rating:

T

Words:

3,006

-

Lucifer coughed, blanching at the bitter taste of blood that coated his tongue.  As he roughly wiped away the rest of the red liquid that streamed out of his mouth, he raised his head off the ground to peer at the six angels that had fought valiantly beside him.  Now, they laid, barely conscious, next to him.  

He swallowed a sob; this was his fault—his fault that his brothers and sister were sprawled in front of the Celestial Realm’s pearly gates—just a few feet away from freedom—with the entirety of their Father’s heavenly legions barreling closer.  His fault that the Great Celestial War had even happened.  Worst of all, it was his fault that it didn’t look like they would get out of this War alive.

Carefully, he reached an arm out, trying to raise himself up into a sitting position, but his body, covered from head to toe in deep, angry wounds, couldn’t find the strength to support itself.  

A moment later, he dropped his head low in defeat when he heard the sound of his Father’s legions approaching.  Hundreds of thousands of angels, eyes ablaze and Swords of the Spirit drawn, were upon the seven renegades in seconds.  

Leading them was him.

Michael, Angel of Destruction.

He raised a hand to the horde of angels behind him, signaling them to stop advancing.  Michael’s golden eyes burned with remorse and justice as he took a step toward Lucifer.  He drew from its scabbard his Sword of the Spirit and pointed its blade at his brother. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Lucifer.”  Michael gulped and tightened his grip on his Shield of Faith.  His voice was raw, and it broke when he said, “Surrender.” 

Lucifer then raised his head and summoned the last of his strength to extend his wings to cover his brothers and Lilith, as if to shield them from what was to come. He steeled himself; this was no time to appear weak.  It was time to be strong … for them.  

He closed his eyes, imagining a cord of iron holding him and his voice together as he stared into the warm brown face of the angel who once had been his best friend and confidante.  

Counting to three, he reopened his eyes and stared into the deep yellow irises of Michael and all at once the confidence seemed to flush out of him.  All he could see when he peered at the Angel of Destruction were memories.  So many memories—memories he would never be willing to forget, despite knowing that if he let them go, this moment would be infinitely easier.  

He let out a strangled gasp when Michael walked forward.  

The dark-skinned angel’s steps were pained, but now, his eyes were a deep, livid, amber, tears of betrayal pooling in them.  

Lucifer watched in horror as Michael raised his Sword of the Spirit above him.

“Wait, Michael, please.”  Lucifer choked on the words—he was too proud to beg, but as he turned his head behind him to look at his unconscious family, he knew that this time, it was worth it.  The Angel of Destruction paused to let him speak.  “Please, don’t hurt them.”

Michael’s hands shook as he inched the sword closer to Lucifer.  “It wasn’t supposed to be this way, Luci,” he mumbled, shaking his head.  “It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”  His dark knuckles lightened as he tightened his grip on his Sword.  “You chose them over me.”  With those words, Lucifer watched his once-brother's eyes darken with horrible, horrible wrath.  

Lucifer’s eyes widened in fear as Michael slammed his Sword down at him so fast that it became a blur.  Before it reached Lucifer’s neck, however, Michael paused. 

“You chose them over me,” he repeated.  The anger drained out of him, and Lucifer blanched when he saw the Angel of Destruction’s eyes fill with black, insidious hate.  

No, Lucifer thought, breathing fast.  His heartbeat sped up as he watched in horror as Michael flipped his Sword so that the diamond-shaped pommel faced Lucifer.

“No,” he whispered.  Sweat broke out on his forehead as he looked up at Michael, who stared at him with odiously dead eyes.  His body trembled as Michael brought the pommel of his Sword of the Spirit closer and closer to Lucifer.  

Then, as the pommel met Lucifer’s forehead, he froze, overcome with a burning sensation where it had touched him, as Michael returned his Sword to its scabbard.  

Lucifer knew what happened when the Angel of Destruction touched anyone with the pommel of his Sword.

He knew that on his forehead there would forever be a mark.

A black diamond.

A terrible promise. 

Oh, how Lucifer wished Michael had just killed him.

-

“Mammon!”  Lucifer’s voice was low but so loud that even from the House of Lamentation’s Common Room where he bellowed, everyone could hear him.

A moment later, Mammon peeked his head into the room and raised an eyebrow.  “Yeah, what?”

Lucifer held up with two fingers an incredibly skimpy pair of silk Versucci underwear, glaring at the article of clothing (if one could call it that) as if it offended him.  “What have I told you about leaving your laundry in here?”

Mammon stomped into the Common Room, raising an eyebrow in disgust.  “What makes ya so sure it’s mine, huh?”

“No one else would waste their money on such frivolous things.”  The eldest demon dropped the underwear on the couch, gagged, and slipped off his gloves, vowing to disinfect them later.

“You found them!”  Asmodeus cried, prancing into the room.  He dove toward the couch and rescued his beloved undergarments.  He nuzzled them close to his face, ignoring the eye rolls of his two brothers.  He sidled up to Lucifer and raised his eyebrows.  “I’ll reward you nicely with a good time, I promise,” he sung, winking.  

“Ha!  Ya owe me an apology, now Lucifer!”  Mammon grinned, pointing at the eldest.  His grin grew absolutely devious as he tapped his fingertips together.  “I take my apologies in the form of a check, cash, or credit.”

Before Lucifer could hush Mammon, Leviathan walked into the Common Room, his eyes glued to his D.D.D.  “Wow, Lucifer apologizing to Mammon.  I never thought I’d see the day.”  

“That’s because—Asmo, if your hand moves any lower down my body, I’ll cut it off—it’ll never happ—” Lucifer’s retort was cut short when one of the table lamps fell over.

Levi grumbled, “Hey!  Quit shaking me, guys!  It’s making me lose my concentration and I can’t defeat this final boss!”     

“Uh,” Mammon began, staring at the ground, which had begun to tremble, with his eyes wide.  “No one’s touchin’ you, Levi.”

Asmodeus clung to Lucifer tighter as the eldest demon exchanged alarmed looks with the secondborn, who had gone to secure other items which had begun to shake and topple off of the tables.  “Quick,” Lucifer asked.  “Where are the others?”

“Last I saw,” said Levi, pocketing his D.D.D when he realized that the vibrating was not just an immersive feature in his mobile game.  “Satan was in the Library.”

Asmo nodded as Lucifer tried to peel him off of him.  “And Beel and Belphie are in their room.”

“Asmo, text them and tell them to get out of the House of Lamentation, immediately.  Everyone else, follow me.”  Lucifer marched out of the Common Room on shaky legs once he ensured that the other three demons were behind him, but they didn’t get very far when a wall of flames sprung out of the ground, blocking their way.  The fire glowed an unholy black and from the crack in the floor from where the inferno had come, oozed blistering lava that glowed red and radiated heat. 

Although the demons were accustomed to high temperatures in the Devildom, even they took a step back from the fire.  

Asmo fanned his face furiously.  “No, no, no.  This heat is going to absolutely murder my hair.”

Mammon bit his lip as he stared at the inferno.  “This ain’t no ordinary earthquake, is it?”

“I don’t think it’s an earthquake at all,” Lucifer admitted.  “Otherwise I would’ve told us to take cover, not evacuate.”  He brushed the sweat off his forehead and sighed.  “We’re going to have to go above the flames.  Mammon, you carry Levi.”

For once, Mammon didn’t complain at the order and transformed into his demon form, hooking his hands under Levi’s arms and flying above the wall of fire.  Lucifer and Asmodeus flew behind him.

“Hey, this is like that one time in Ruri-chan’s Magical Adventure To the Land of Disney Where She Was Kidnapped by Mortimer Mouse—”  Levi explained.

He was cut off by Mammon, who quipped, “Levi, if you don’t shut up, I’m gonna drop ya.”

The four made it safely on the ground on the other side of the fire and lava and as Lucifer silently took a headcount, Asmo walked out the door and peered down the hallway.  He groaned and said, “All the paintings on the walls fell down—even that totally sexy one with the naked imp.”

Mammon stood on his tiptoes to see over Asmodeus and rolled his eyes.  “Maybe also mention that there’s fire blockin’ both ends of the hallway, huh?”

“Is there enough room between the ceiling and fire so that you guys can fly above it?”  Leviathan wondered.  

“Maybe for me and my slender figure,” decided Asmo.  “But definitely not you guys.  There’s barely an inch to squeeze through.”

Indeed, the towering flames licked the ceiling on both ends of the hallway.  Unfortunately for the brothers, both ends led to possible exits out of the House of Lamentation.

“I sure hope Satan, Belphie, and Beel got out okay,” Mammon muttered nervously.

The perspiration on Lucifer’s forehead turned cold with his younger brother’s words.  No.  He was not going to lose his brothers—not even almost like last time.  He clenched his hands into fists and racked his brain to figure out a way to get out of the House safely.  “The North Staircase is in this hall.  Is it blocked by the flames?  Or the smoke?”

“Nope,” reported Mammon.  “Well, sorta.  The fire kinda splits the staircase’s entryway down the middle.  And it’s weird: there’s no smoke anywhere.”

Lucifer sighed, silently thanking Father that they didn't have to worry about smoke.  Nevertheless, there was still another issue.  “Then the fire will spread and engulf the rest of the entrance any minute.”

“That’s the strange thing,” Levi noticed.  “It doesn’t look like the fire’s moving.  Maybe it’s just an illusion—that’s happened in some games I played before.  Although …” he paused and showed the singed bottom of his shoes, and everyone gagged at the scent of burned rubber.  “Maybe not.”

Asmo pulled out from his pocket a bottle of perfume to cover up the smell.  “It’s gardenia and hyacinth,” he explained.  “And also, my wonderful self has a thought: what if the fire isn’t spreading because it’s black?  Clearly it’s not normal fire.”

“That’s true,” Lucifer agreed.  “Alright, well since it’s not spreading, perhaps then it should be fine if we go up the North Staircase, provided we don’t accidentally clip the fire on our clothes or the like.”

Mammon nodded.  “Yeah, that leads right into the Planetarium.  If we bust open a couple a’ windows in there, we can get outta here.”

“Hey, did anyone notice that the shaking stopped?”  Levi asked.

However, the tremors began again just as the boys began to bolt up the North Staircase.  A general uproar went up among the four as they tumbled down the stairs multiple times, for butts smushed faces, tails were stepped on, and wings were bent in uncomfortable positions.  

After twenty-three unsuccessful attempts, the brothers made it to the top of the staircase and were in the Planetarium.  The trembling had already caused the glass that composed the ceiling to shatter, and even though black fire filled this room as well, they were able to fly through the crumbling windows to safety.  

As soon as Mammon set Leviathan on the ground—which also was afflicted by the quaking—several feet outside the House of Lamentation’s gate, he scanned the area for the other three brothers.  “Where are they?”  He flipped out his D.D.D.  “Damn it, I've got no signal out here.”

Lucifer peered at his own D.D.D in alarm, dodging a flyaway tree branch.  Normally, he was able to make a call anywhere in the Devildom, but today, his device read NO SERVICE.  “Me neither.”

“Same here,” chimed Levi, who leaned against Mammon for support amidst all the shaking.

Asmo’s face crumbled as he, too, shook his head in agreement.  “This is terrible!  How am I supposed to post about my trauma on Devilgram?”  

Lucifer looked at him sternly.  “You were able to text Satan and the others to get out, though, right?”

“Yes, that was the last message that went through,” Asmodeus moaned.

Mammon’s tan skin paled.  “Holy Father, what if they didn’t make it out or somethin’?  What if they’re still tr—trapped?  What if they’re all alone in the fire and are meltin' in the scor—”

“Relax, Mammon, we’re here.”  Satan waved as he walked up behind them, Belphie and Beel in tow. 

An enormous weight fell off Lucifer’s shoulders as he and Mammon sighed in relief.  He turned to his most intellectual brother, “Good to see you all.  Any idea what happened?”

Satan shook his head.  “Not a clue.  It can’t be natural, though.  Those flames obviously aren’t.  And these earthquakes—” he was interrupted by another round of shaking, causing him to lose his balance.  If it wasn’t for Lucifer’s graceful reflexes, the fourthborn demon would have fallen flat on his face.  Satan blushed at the support and pushed his brother away.  “—are not possible in the Devildom, considering this realm isn't on Earth and doesn’t have to worry about tectonic plate shifting and such.”

“A good way to avoid falling down all the time like Satan—” Beel, who was in his demon form and carrying Belphie a few feet off the ground, began.

“—not all the time, Beel!” Satan’s blush deepened.

“—is for those of us with wings to fly up with those of us who don’t.  That way when the ground shakes, you can’t lose your balance,” finished Beel.

Lucifer nodded at the suggestion and flapped his wings to get himself a few feet off the ground.  “Mammon, you carry Levi, and Asmo, you get Satan.  Beel’s already got Belphie.”

After it had been done, Mammon asked, “Okay, now what do we do?”

Lucifer thought for a moment.  Normally, long before this point, he would call Diavolo to see what was going on, but since it seemed that for some reason, the cell service had been cut off, phone calls were impossible.  “I say we go pay Lord Diavolo a visit.”

Belphegor sighed.  “We’re going to R.A.D?”  

“No, Diavolo should be in his Castle today—it’s not a school day, after all.”  

As the seven brothers made their way to the Demon Lord’s Castle, they were shocked to see the rest of the Devildom in disarray, as well.  The tremors had broken up the paved roads and buildings, and while there were no walls of flame, deep gashes where torturous lava spewed riddled the streets.

“It looks like someone’s trying to destroy the Devildom,” Asmo noticed, as he stared at the wreckage below.

“Yes,” Satan agreed.  “And did you notice that there doesn’t seem to be any demons anywhere?”  

Lucifer raised his eyebrows.  Satan was right.  “Perhaps they’ve all evacuated, as well.”

“Or they’ve all been crushed by the rubble,” Belphie—ever the optimist—suggested.

Lucifer was saved from delivering an admonishment as the group arrived at the Demon Lord’s Castle.  Strangely enough, the gates to the Castle were swung wide open, leaving them to gaze upon the monstrous edifice.  However imposing the building had been before, it was a crippling sight to see now.

The wine-colored bricks that composed the bulk of the palace were scattered in mounds of debris, where golden trim and ancient furniture lay blackened and charred.  Remnants of grand staircases and fountains, rare paintings and statues, as well as all manner of blasphemous artifacts of witchcraft, rained down like morbid confetti.         

“What happened here?” wondered Leviathan.

Lucifer’s blood ran cold.  “Where’s Lord Diavolo?”  He flew toward the rubble, scanning it for some kind of indication that the Prince of the Devildom was here and that he was okay.  Without thinking, he reached out toward a still-sizzling span of dismantled metal railing to look for the Demon Lord, when he felt Mammon’s hand on his shoulder.

The secondborn demon looked at him with worried eyes and said, “Diavolo’s not here, Lucifer.”

Lucifer’s heavy breaths slowed down as he calmed himself, staring at the torrid piece of metal that he had been about to touch—metal that would've absolutely blistered even his tough demon skin.  He let out one more deep breath before nodding.  “You’re right.”  

He flew back toward the rest of the group with Mammon.

“Something strange is definitely afoot here,” Satan decided, gesturing at the decimated Castle and the rest of the Devildom.  “How mysterious.  All of this can't be natural.  Someone must be orchestrating all of this.”

It then clicked for the six ex-angels, who all exchanged knowing glances. 

“There’s only one possible enemy of the Devildom and the Demon Lord,” said Mammon.  

Beelzebub nodded.  “Only one reason for all this destruction. ”

“And not just of property, but hair, too,” Asmodeus—whose hair looked absolutely fine—huffed.

Leviathan added, “And demons’ lives, of course.”

“This is definitely the work of the Celestial Realm.”  Belphegor’s eyes darkened as he said the last two words.

Lucifer grit his teeth and put a hand on Satan’s shoulder (even though the fourthborn pulled away immediately).  “Looks like it’s time to go 'home' and pay Father a visit.”