#whyyy jesus christ

[lyriumrain]

So the window in my room in this apartment hasn't been closed since I moved in, it's been pretty warm so that was fine, but it's starting to cool now and uh

Well the handle you spin to close the window fucking BROKE when I tried to fully close it 🥴

[captainlynxx]

Posting every gay for pride month

Post 5/30

The “Ianto Jones Bisexuality Rant ™️” is all I can think about right now like bro it hit HARD.

[crucefix]

Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix | 2007 | dir. David Yates

[sprinklethetangerine]

How in the fuck did I not know that this dude from The Croods was voiced by goddamn fucking RYAN REYNOLDS

This mf is voiced by RYAN FUCKING REYNOLDS

[soundofcomets]

I just finished Angie’s route and…

[watery-melon-baller]

once again i am frustrated because i cannot understand this when it is not at all that difficult I wanna understand it so bad please please please

[her0garden]

hello babygirls . ive been #healing from an absolutely dastardly , nefarious , devious breakup but i plan on returning to regular activity (posting about sillies from my brain) shortly

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

couldn’t work up the discipline to get to the library and start working on my extremely overdue paper that I promised I’d hand in next week

finally get my ass to the desk

laptop fully bluescreens and can’t be turned on again

run into a full blown AfD demonstration on my way to a public computer, complete with marching drums, a fully automatic sound system protesting *checks notes* gender-inclusive language, queer people, the tax for public media and the war in Ukraine, all served with the most smug faces you’ve EVER seen

oh yeah and yesterday when I finally sat down to work for an hour before bed, half the city lost power 🙃🙃

really running out of reasons not to walk to the middle of a public square and start screaming tbh

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

anyway why did they make Tess kiss an clicker infected

[riversgoingnowhere]

ill never be able to function again oh my god

[priafey]

2.oct.2024

how does that one meme go? 'little beepo's misery is increasing'?

it's me. i'm little beepo.

[catmorlandleaguette]

why does talking to ppl make me shake like a sad cold chihuahua even if im enjoying it

[heytherenancydrew]

Gilbert Buford's "It appears our intruder is of the female variety"

What do you think is the cringiest bit of dialogue from the games?

I’ll start: Judge Danforth from MID:

“What in the Sam Heck is a bitcoin?”

[christinarowie332]

i win.

part 2 of : “i’d be an idiot if i said no to that”

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings : vv suggestive ! drugs , swearing .

—-

matt and y/n spend some quality time with his brothers . who would break first ?

(this is kinda slow so hear me out)

green text : imessage

————-

my phone lights up vibrating from underneath my pillow . i peel my eyes away from “the vampire diaries” playing from my tv and notice the time displayed on my phone. 12:36am . jesus christ .

my eyes scan my notifications as my face id opens my phone . instagram, my group chat “whores.” (56). oops . snapchat , pinterest… oh ?

matt🤭: u up ?

(AHSHHSHDWHHENEHHEHSH)

my body shoots up from where i was lay . i frantically tuck my hair behind my ears with my free hand not holding my phone . i open the message , thumbs hovering over the keyboard ready to type before i hesitate. realising i have no idea what to say .

me: yeah i’m up ! what’s up ?

i type . then delete it .

me: hiyaaaa , yeah i’m up wanna do something??? x

nope

me: yeah i’m up . whyyy wanna hang??

good enough idc

i press send with shaking fingers , allmost immediately he replies back .

matt 🤭: you know me so well , i’ll come pick u up .

me: no bother , i’ll come over . send me ur loc

matt 🤭: i’m at mine with chris and nick , we can all hang if u want?

*matt 🤭 shared his location with you*

me: oki! shall i bring anything??

matt 🤭: just yourself and whatever u need in the morning

me: i’m staying ??😏😏😏😏

matt 🤭: 😏😏😏😏

me: OMW!!!!!

matt 🤭: LMAO OK

i smile at the message and take a screenshot immediately sending it to my groupchat giggling , throwing to the middle of my bed and getting up .

after a few touch ups to my makeup i’ve left to marinate on my face a little bit too long .i change outfit into a pair of baggy light blue jeans , that fall on my hips , uggs and a tight fitted white baby tee . i throw on a hoodie that matches my uggs before realizing it’s literally boiling and ripping it off .i grab my phone and my bag , filling it with the essentials and start to exit my house .

in what feels like 30 seconds i’m pulling into what should be matt’s house . i turn my car off and look at my self in the mirror , obsessing over every little detail until deciding i look good enough .

me: i’m here !!

me: hello ??

me: matt are u home ??

after five minutes of waiting outside the door i decide to just knock it . my heart literally racing enough to hear it in my ears . after a few seconds of waiting i hear the door unlock and the handle go down .

his face drops at the sight of me and turns his head away but not taking his eyes off me , his blonde hair falling against his eyes before he swipes it away .

“MATT ??CHRIS???”

he smiles kindly and i return it . awkward .

after a few excruciatingly painful seconds i see a familiar face poke around the corner, his long and messy hair tucked into a backwards hat . it takes him a second to realize it’s me and his face lights up as he walks towards the door .

“y/n ? yo what are u doing here ? nick bro what are u doing??” he furrows his eyebrows at his brother before opening his arms towards me .

“nice to see you too chris” i roll my eyes and meet his hug .

“OH SHIT MB YOUR y/n ?!?! COME IN FUCK SORRY!!” nick rambles out grabbing me around my back and pulling me in the house .

i take the sight on his house in , the shoes shoved thrown into the corner near the stairs. it smells like autumn, a warm candle burning somewhere. i can hear music coming from what must be the room above . smiling at the familiar beat of mac miller .

“where’s matt? SORRY !!nice to meet you nick!!” i say while smiling , and turning to nick realising i haven’t even greeted the first brother

he laughs and goes to speak before we all turn around and the sight of matt speeding around the corner and skidding to a stop .

“SORRY IVE ONLY JUST SAW YOUR TEXTS” he defends himself before i can even mention it . i smile kindly and relax my shoulders at the sight of him . his hair has been cut , brunette falling onto his forehead in loose curls. the phone he had in his hand tucked in his oversized sweats .lifting his top slightly to find the pocket , showing the band of his boxers for a split second .

“you’re fine , don’t worry” i say , before letting out a breath i didn’t even know i was holding .

matt keeps the eye contact smiling slightly before turning his head towards his brothers and looking at them . “do y’all wanna smoke up?”

“allways” chris replies for both of them before leading us all to their small balcony .

——-

it’s 2 am now , we all shared a joint around their table . chris let matt play his playlist (for once apparently) and we’re now all sat talking .

i’m sat on a bench with matt shoulder to shoulder , a blanket covering us both as the temperature dropped and we were all shivering by the time the joint was smoked .

“i don’t get it nick !! women are just confusing man…..” chris whines out , he has been talking about his girlfriend mia all night and and to be honest i stopped listening ten minutes ago . “no offense y/n/n” he says now looking at me .

i peel my eyes away from matt’s hand on my knee and meet his eyes “all good man i get it…” i don’t get it . i was completely zoned into matt’s hands , and how close he was to me that i wasn’t listening to a word chris was saying .

matt notices and puts his hands under the blanket , pulling it up to his shoulders .

“u wanna go inside matt???” i ask in concern , thinking he was cold .

“no i just got a chill , i’m fine” he says looking at me now with a tight lipped smile .

i mirror his smile and look away at chris who was waiting for us to shut up so he could carry on his rambling. he starts speaking and i keep eye contact with him , now fully listening to his words.

“as i was saying …. i just don’t get it ? taylor swift is mid as fuck , i tell mia that and she literally looks at me like i just murdered a litter of puppies , SHE HATES MY MUSIC TASTE??? i literally tried-“

and just like that i am now no longer listening to chris , as i feel matt’s hand on my knee again underneath the blanket . he strokes it slightly with his thumb and runs it up my thigh , covering it with goosebumps following his touch .

my breath hitches as he takes his hand higher , to rest on my upper thigh. leaving it there and warming it with his touch.

i glance up at him in warning but all i see is him looking straight forward at chris , smirking. little shit .

he must see my face flush in the corner of his eye because he moves his hand ever so slightly higher , his index and middle finger hovering over the seam of my jeans .

my hips move forward slightly and the touch and i gulp loudly , nodding my head at nick who’s now started speaking to me .

“what music do you listen to y/n . if u say some goofy shit like the imagine dragons i may have to throw you off this balcony” he asks me while laughing at himself .

matt apparently thinks it would be absolutely hilarious to start teasing me underneath the blanket , moving his fingers up and down the seam .

“i-um” i clear my throat trying to stay collected “i like all music really …. mac miller …” matt stops moving .

i turn my head towards him to see him smiling at me and nodding for me to carry on .

“ugh let me think” i drag my words as i move my hand on his inner thigh now i feel him flinch at the touch and go to move his hand off my thigh to stop me but i flash my head towards him and raise my eyebrow in warning .

my turn .

i mirror his actions before and take my hand higher . “i like anything really ….. mac ..torylanez…” i move my hand . he shifts .

“skies ….travis….hotel ugly….” i move my hand again over his sweats . he shifts and let’s put a huff of air .

“brent faiyaz…..dominic fike”

i move my hand again and he lets out a soft allmost silent noise . a whimper , only i hear it and i smirk .

“i like anything” i look at matt now , giving him an innocent look and shrugging my shoulders.

i remove my hand as i could feel him slowly becoming harder . and place my hand on his lower thigh , griping hard . saying exactly what i needed to.

“that’s fire as fuck…what’s ur fave skies song?” i hear chris say and i turn my head towards him .

i smirk knowing i won before continuing my conversation with chris , feeling matt sink into his seat more and putting his arm around me . manspreading and putting his palm over his crotch.

i win .

——————-

i am a vile and wretched woman .

LOVE YA !!!!

@mangosrar @sturnphilia @littlebookworm803 @lividnity @def-livv @daddyslilchickenfingers @sssturniolofart @soursturniolo @deatthmatch @biimpanicking @bluesturniolo333 @urmyslxt

^^^^

i love u all 🤍🤍🤍

[jezebelgoldstone]

okay okay okay okay. so let me see if i've got this right. in one single episode, we have:

georgie voiced by SE01 georgie. okay.

celia isn't in at work because she had a childcare emergency the same night that gwen is later told that she has to contact another external and then it turns out celia did in fact have adequate childcare and also has been running around london in her pajamas because the situation was so urgent. right.

"who keeps taking georgie's face?" WHY TF WOULD YOU SAY THAT???

i propose an alternate not-them: in this SE instead of the not-them taking and replacing someone and leaving the memory of the original person in tact in only one or two people, instead in this SE the not-them-type-monster-thingy is going to be a stalkery doppelganger. who keeps taking georgie's face? why does georgie keep seeing her own face everywhere? why do people keep recognizing georgie when she's never met them before? who keeps taking georgie's face?

"i'm in an alley and someone is asking me questions" okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay

so like

i barely even have a theory for this one tbh just what the FUCK

so are violet and alice's drowning victim the same person? are people who are being consumed by the whateverthehell all connected somehow? what the fuck is going ON?

oh also why in the fuck of HELL does celia consistently leave before georgie shows up to babysit?????

like she's clearly doing that on purpose!! but WHYYY???

alice called celia hot D:

oh alice is so so so so so totally going to die oh no

BEST CASE SCENARIO alice gets caught inside the whateverthehell this thing is and somehow gets rescued, but we all know she'd Come Back Not The Same

gwen is so entirely overwhelmingly freaked out that she literally voluntarily confided in both sam and fucking alice???

and then sam laughed at her. oh you daft man. -_- like i totally get it, but jesus christ.

ooohhhh teddy is up to something. teddy is SO Up To Something. i am squinting SO suspiciously at this man.

no. colin?? D:

[leniisreallycool]

Just say pissed off. Please. Just say it.

Once again freaking the fuck out over this card

Sibling behavior

I could just. Command him not to bite me. Like. Come on.

Middle option: completely neutral. Top and bottom options: passive aggressive

MC is a little shit and I love them for it

Lucifer is so divorced single mom

"Asmo, wait, not here" meaning you're okay with somewhere else then 👀

wait fuck they made that joke in canon nevermind go home folks

Why was an actual dog an afterthought

You're just gonna say that out loud. Where anyone can hear you. If you're into that that's fine but jesus christ the nonchalance

NOT THE TEARS

listen Asmo precious baby if I wasn't sex repulsed I'd go along with that but I am so I won't and I'm not going to apologize for it

Does he know that's a real thing called "touch starvation"

NOT THE TEARS AGAIN

Why can't I tell him he's my very dear friend and I love him why does I love you have to be the romantic option fuck you

Lmao?

Actual lmao this time

"You're a gutless coward and you'd never actually make a move on me" / "You're my friend you wouldn't do that" / "That would so sexy please do"

I love how Levi is the only one I can't say "down boy!" to like the devs knew that would crush his remaining self self esteem and don't even make it an option

MC whyyy he's best boy

I love these options even MC knows Mammon is down bad for them

What am I signing I'm not signing away my soul am I I can't read this shit

Aren't you the one who slept with them on their last night in the devildom why you getting cold feet now

Hm. Okay then

Imagine becoming friends with one of the most powerful . demons . in existence. And he accidentally consumes an aphrodisiac that only affects demons and only makes them horny for their pact master. And you go up to this demon. And tell him he's funny. Just imagine

The game got horny all of a sudden for no reason. Where's my plot? Where's my angst?

Woof little demon boy

Standard divorced single mom with 7 kids behavior

He has his priorities straight, leave him alone

Why do my first thoughts always have to be those ones

Oh shit they consider me an angel akhajkkkapqzajwq

We? Child soldier Satan?