#whyididntreport

[in-sightpublishing]

Journalism's Role in Moral Narratives and Synopsis of Clergy-Related Abuse

Author(s): Scott Douglas Jacobsen Publication (Outlet/Website): The Humanist Publication Date (yyyy/mm/dd): 2025/03/12 Three days ago, I addressed a Croatian Christian association via virtual conference on clergy-related abuse, emphasizing journalism’s essential role as a watchdog exposing institutional misconduct. I argued that victims should be the primary voices, institutions secondary,…

[whyididntreportit]

I know there is another blog like this one, but it doesn’t seem to be updated, so excuse me.

Hi, i was sexually assaulted on my birthday when i was very very drunk and very high. I didn’t report it because he was also drunk and high, all though not at all like me. I still can’t remember what happened, and all though i have my boyfriend and family support, i still feel like it was my fault, like i’m dirty. Maybe i flirted with him? maybe i said yes? maybe i never said no? maybe i didn’t fight?

[cambiolavita]

"Barriere alla denuncia della violenza sessuale: un'analisi qualitativa della #WhyIDidntReport ".Ci sono casi in cui è stata indicata più di una barriera, per questo motivo i cumulati delle percentuali non arrivano al 100%.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/federica-fragapane-3988bb4b?miniProfileUrn=urn%3Ali%3Afsd_profile%3AACoAAAqiV2QBJZxYclJc9kD9itN34CXkma_Xi1E&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_feed%3BgwlLZTIDTUCNApldp5K1ng%3D%3D

[pouncequick]

Chapters 17-19. Notes: Chapters 17 and 18 deal heavily with Nassar; Chapter 19 deals with suicide.

Also, at places she gets into a lot of what came out when in correlation with what--everything she talks about is public knowledge, and since I'm focusing on this book and not the abuse timeline, I'm not going to cover too much of that. If you have specific questions, I'm happy to go back and look them up

Chapter 17:

She had full say over the gymnastics program and profit sharing from the gymnastics side of the business at Evo (also had volleyball, cheer leading, and ninja training)

Outside of WCC, it was the best facility she ever coached in

Oversaw the whole program, like WCC, but now she had equity

Felt Lydia, who owned the gym (mostly a gym mom who had done Evo as a passion/investment project) gave the parents too much say--every time Aimee or Jason (who ran the men's program) made a decision the parents didn't like, it was an issue. She spent too much time dealing with parents

Parents moved from around the country to be part of the program

She was invited to the White House visit. When ran moved it indoors, staff were cut for space, but she felt Laurie, as a minor, should have a chaperone and Steve Penny backed her up. The White House obliged

Was only supposed to meet Michelle, but Barack and Biden joined them. The conversation felt very natural. During the group picture, she would have stayed out of it but Obama made sure she was included

The only friction point at Evo was with parents who thought they were going to get Olympic coaching for their level 4s. They hadn't promoted Olympic results, but people came in expecting them anyway, whatever they started the goals of the program were. She thinks many parents expected a more regimented style

Discusses the GymCastic investigation into the Karolyi files in Romania, specifically the allegations of abuse, including an allegation of sexual abuse against Bela. Bela was repeatedly reported as insulting and beating athletes

in 2018 Nassar was inducted into the USAG Region 5 Hall of Fame. He has since been removed

Talks about coaches and others using their reputation to guard them against abuse claims

As new unfolded about Nassar, she occasionally reached out to Simone. Each time she said no

Athletes she knew well were starting to come out as survivors

In Sept 2018, Aimee released her own story of being sexually assaulted when drunk at a college party as part of #WhyIDidntReport. She hadn't spoken up earlier because she didn't want to distract from the Nassar survivors; she hadn't reported it at the time because she felt people who think it was her fault. Had not told her husband or mother about it. Doesn't know if she was his first or last victim and if she could have protected someone else if she'd spoken up at the time

She was getting sucked back into the elite world emotionally

She had considered Nassar a friendly acquaintance and a good trainer, and recognizes she was groomed by him

Reached out to Simone again after Maggie came out as Athlete A and got a different response. She was heart broken. Simone came out publicly a week later.

Constantly asked herself what she could have done to prevent it, what she missed. She watched as many of the survivor statements during the sentencing as she could

She felt like she had failed. The focus was and should have been on the athletes, but she says the coaches were absolutely devestated

Chapter 18

The impact statements helped her realize there wasn't much she could have done--even if she'd been in the room, it could have happened. The bredth and depth of the problem

Tasha's revelation that Penny had pushed her into showing public support for USAG conicided with Penny's arrest for evidence tampering

The problems weren't specifically with gymnastics--they were with people, organizations, and culture, a much deeper thing to fix

She put out a statement on behalf of Evo about the situation, and she was surprised in the aftermath of everything how few leaders were stepping up

Martha and Bela mostly kept quiet. Martha said, "I feel extremely bad. I don't feel responsible."

Maroney said, "That's what everyone says, it's not their responsibility."

At the end of 2018, Jason left Evo for Yale and Aimee was the only coach dealing with parents

Jason had had a group of parents follow him to Evo. They were angry and frustrated that they couldn't follow him to Yale and took it out on Aimee

Her goal, especially in the lower levels, was for the kids to have fun, not that they always win. Many of the parents didn't like that. Her goal as a coach is to teach gymnasts a solid foundation and encourage love for the sport. She was having a lot of frustrating, repetive conversations

If a kid was talented enough, listened well, and had fun, they would be successful, but there was no point in beating a level 4 into the ground if they didn't win because they'd hate the sport and/or quit. She supported kids leaving becaues they didn't love gymnastics, but if they quit because of something destructive a coach said, too much pressure from parents, or injuries because they were pushed too hard, it was a problem that needed to be addressed

Lower levels were getting better over her three seasons there, and their levels 9 and 10 were winning

She loved coaching, but she was sick of arguing with the parents. She felt she had earned enough respect to be listened to, and no one was listening

She felt powerless in the operations of Evo--profits from her program were supporting the other programs under the umbrella that were losing money

After returned from the A Heart of Gold screening, a parent laid into her for not asking the parent's permission to leave for two days and have their kid practice with two other coaches. They demanded a meeting with Aimee and Lydia, which Lydia granted, and they spent two hours ripping into them. The fact her business partner was okay with this didn't sit well with her

Parents need a voice, but they also need to respect coaches and other people at the gym. She acknowledges she may not have been the best coach at the time, being distracted by everything she was learning about Nassar and the abuse of athletes she loved, but she can't imagine a professional scenario where this is ever appropriate

She decided she would finish the season (about a month) and then leave Evo. She told Lydia she was leaving in May 2019

Chapter 19

She is very clear everything in this chapter is shared with explicit permission

In Feb 2020, there was a knock at the door from the police. Her middle son had expressed suicidal ideology to his girlfriend, and she was concerned enough to call the police. They asked if her son wanted emergency help and he said yes, so they took for a mandatory 48 hour mental health hold

I don't think I can adequately bullet point how she characterizes her kids and how this hurt and how he was hurting. She had no idea he was hurting so much and holding things in--he had always been the kid who was outspoken about how he felt

Didn't get the information they needed to visit him until the following afternoon. After the 48 hours, he asked to stay another day. When he was released, they went straight to her older son's therapist's office

Much happier to have gone through this than to have lost him

In conversations since then, he's told her he wasn't suicidial, but he wanted help and needed to talk to someone

Changes were made--they make sure to include the kids in discussions that will affect the family so they can be considered and their lives aren't being dictated to them. Check in with them more regularly. Make sure to include the younger two in her day (at this point, the oldest was already out of the house)

Sons are still figuring out what they want to be. They're roughly in their late teens/early twenties at time of publishing

Resources: 88 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org National Suicide Hotline 988, a new three-digit number for emergencies The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386 www.thetrevorproject.org Love is Respect (National teen dating abuse hotline) 1-866-331-9474 www.loveisrespect.org Crisis Text line Text HOME to 741741 www.crisistextline.org

Aimee Boorman's Book

Chapter by Chapter summary, not done yet.

A couple of thoughts on the book itself:

Overall, it's pretty decently written. It's not a literary masterpiece, but it's clear, well organized, and fun

It has a little trouble with who the audience is. At times she's talking directly to parents, at other times athletes, sometimes to the general public, occassionally to gym fans

You can tell they struggled a bit to find the balance on how much to explain what different gymnastics skills are. Which makes sense considering the broad audience

One thing that I didn't like much about the first section was the detailed explanations on things like how you called a cab before cell phones. As a kid, I never cared for books assuming I didn't know how things used to work before all the 'new fangled inventions' (I knew what a phonograph was. I DEFINITELY knew what a record was and how it worked. These kinds of asides always feel patronizing to me)

She has a good sense of humor and has definitely spent a long time reflecting on things

It's very obvious that her coaching style was delibrately developed, with choices she made from trainings, reactions to how she was coached, and things she saw that worked from her mother's parenting style. Because she made active choices on who she wanted to be as a coach, she's able to tell you more about why she believes in those approaches and give examples of what has and hasn't worked

Prologue:

Makes a point here that she's going to mention people that have had abuse allegations or just significant negative stories about them, and those mentions are going to be about her experiences with them--which may be good or bad or indifferent, because she's telling the story of her interactions with them and how they influenced her journey. I thought it was interesting but understandable that she felt the need to spell this out before even beginning the story

Chapter 1:

She has a good sense of humor about herself

Her club coaches growing up, especially after moving to her second gym, where the 'discipline installing' sort of the 80s and 90s

At one point she broke her leg at practice. The injury wasn't acknowledged, she went home, went to school the next day and eventually called her mom at work. Due to a miscommunication, she ended up walking to her mother's office before they went to the doctor and discovered there was a break

"Not being acknowledged" was the generally trend with that coach--he literally wouldn't pay attention to the work she was doing

Her mother had mental health issues that Aimee is sure made parenting harder, but she worked very hard to support Aimee and and Aimee felt that her mother was someone who truly saw her when she felt invisible

Chapter 2:

Growing up, her mother encouraged open communication and education on important issues with limited boundaries, which was the right approach for Aimee

Example: If Aimee was at a party with drinking and needed to get home, she could get a taxi any time and her mom would pay for it. She might get chewed out for it, but that was the consequence of not having a curfew and being allowed to go to the party

She strongly supports young athletes doing multiple sports

She herself did swim team and cheer alongside gymnastics in high school

Started coaching at 13

When she visited the gym she attended in Chapter 1, she did a series on beam and asked the coach if he was impressed. He told her he was always impressed, but thought if he told her that she wouldn't work as hard. The fact his dismissiveness was an active, intentional choice infuriates her, and she keeps him in mind as an example of what not to be as a coach

As a high school gymnast, she found she really enjoyed doing choreography and by the end of high school she was doing the choreo for most of her teammates

Method: Had the gymnast pick three pieces of music they could move or dance to. They'd narrow it down to one. She'd construct an mental 8 count with a theme, and they'd work together to craft a skeleton routine. They'd practice that for a few days to see if it fit, then add more detail. Changed any step they had trouble with, rather than force them to learn it.

Chapter 3:

She was not a good student in college and was more interested in her sorority. It took her a long time to get her grades high enough to officially pledge

She loved her human anatomy class, particularly working with the cadavers. She found herself picturing how her athletes were moving with out skin, how the muscles and bones and connective tissues all work together to allow them to do their movements

She road tripped with a friend who had a job interview in Texas. While there, she went to four local gyms and asked for interviews; walked out with three job offers

She decided to leave school a semester short of graduation to coach; her mother supported this (she finished her BA while writing the book--she says it just wasn't the right time for her to do college, which would always be there)

She decided to make coaching her career after an encounter with Octavian Belu, who told her that she must become a coach

Her first boss didn't think she'd ever be successful as a coach because she was too nice

Chapter 4:

Her first coaching position in Texas was Cyprus Academy

She learned a huge amount about coaching and gymnastics there, confirming her feelings that she was right to leave school for this

She basically lived at the gym, and when she wasn't coaching she was watching Debbie and Deana coaching the elites--she felt they were too verbally harsh, but she also learned a lot

Cyprus Academy was a very competitive environment, where winning was the expectation, athletes were made to feel bad about losing, and conditioning was used as a punishment

It wasn't the right environment for her, so she moved to the less competitive and more nurturing Bannon's--she had observed them carefully and appreciated how they interacted with the gymnasts

Bannon's had lower pay, but they incentivized learning and observation with bonuses. You earned pay increases for completing training courses, becoming a judge, etc. You had to take the initiative of signing up and paying for it, but the pay increases would pay for it fairly quickly. They could also earn bonuses if they noticed hazards in the gym, found a solution, and did the paperwork to get it taken care of. Bannon's invested in them becoming better and more valuable coaches

She quickly had all her certifications available and became a judge through level 10

She really enjoys coming up with drills and Tammy Bigg's presentations were always some of her favorites

At Bannon's, she wasn't the nice coach anymore (nice coaching was the expectation). She was now the mean coach, and some kids did quit. She says she didn't yell, but she did expect discipline. She tells a story about telling a kid (another coach's child) something they did was stupid--the child and the coworker were both upset. She was very careful that she only criticized the action, not the child, but it was still a lesson for her on how her words affect the athletes

She feels that you're only as good as your worst athlete

Bannon's was not selective about who comopeted, and winning was something to celebrate, not something that was expected. There was regular testing to determine levels which managed expectations

She does not appreciate chucking skills

She is proud of coaching kids through compulsories into optionals and feels its important to keep it fun

Mandatory snack breaks for everyone (including coaches) if the practice is over three hours. This is a rest period, and she thinks parents and coaches forget how packed kids' days are. She also believes in flexibility in missing training--you don't forget how to do gymnastics in a week and training will always be there, but the family vacation won't. Extended breaks do mean losing conditioning though!

Her mom moved to Texas in 1995

Chapter 5:

Got married the only weekend she didn't have a competition

Husband was well area she didn't work a 9-5 job

Worked until (or almost until) her due date with all three children and was back in the gym within a week or so after. Didn't take her maternity leave with her first child until he was about 6 months old

Woke up around 11 am, worked 1-9:30ish. Husband did the mornings with the kids, her mom helped with dinner and childcare

Chapter 6:

Simone chapters start

Describes Simone in one of her first days of classes--she was sitting in a pike and casually pushed herself up into a press and slid her feet through her arms so she could lie on her stomach--not as a gymnastics move, just as how to get her feet behind her. Normal people don't do that. (Her mom: That's the kid I was trying to tell you about!)

In the story about Simone doing a standing back tuck, and then doing it on beam, Simone actually first jumped up on the high beam to do it. All the coaches yelled for her to get down simultaneously, so she did it on the low beam instead. It was a lesson about not blindly challenging a gifted and adventurous child!

Simone got a zero on both vaults at her second state meet--she hadn't been paying attention and was startled when she was signaled to run and balked the first one (ran into the horse). To compensate on the second one, she punched so hard she went over the table without touching it

When conditioning, Simone would stop and start at the same time as the person next to her, even if she still had reps. If called out to finish her reps, she'd cry because she didn't want to

She was hesitant on moving Simone out of compulsories too quickly because she needed the finesse and time to hone her basics. Felt time was on their side to develop flexibility

Simone would just stop doing things if bored. At TOPS testing, she stopped doing her pull ups during the test because she was bored, so Aimee challenged her to climb to the top of the rope, not just to the mark. Simone responded by climbing the rope up into the ceiling tiles. Another lesson about challenging her.

Bars were hard because Simone's hands were so small

Lots of fears--she wasn't afraid of a straddle back, but she was afraid of jumping from low to high. She was never afraid of going backward, but she said it would be too scary to look at the equipment

Her tremendous air sense meant that she always bailed safely and they could experiment and try more things

When she had a mental block on her beam series, she had to do it three times after warm ups. She could have as much time and as many mats as she needed, but she had to do it three times before she could start her practice

At level 9, she did had a BHS-1 arm BHS-double pike beam dismount

When Simone started getting asked for autographs, Aimee told her she always had to be friendly and nice during it. When it got to be too much, she needed to tell Aimee so Aimee could be the bad guy shutting it down, and the little kids wouldn't have a bad experience with Simone (remembered a disappointing autograph session with MLR)

Once after a bad bars while trying to qualify elite, Simone threw her grips on the ground in disgust. Aimee reprimanded her, and D-D Breaux nodded and said "Get her." LSU sent a recruitment letter a few weeks later (Simone was 12)

Around this time she also sent a video of Simone's skills to Martha, hoping for a camp invite, but was dismissed

Simone spent one year at 9 and three at 10 and only qualified HOPES her first elite season (coinciding with one of the 10 years)

AImee held her back at 10 because she needed refinement and since she wasn't age eligible for London, there was no point in pushing too hard to early. Her parents weren't thrilled about this, but they trusted Aimee

They didn't move to two-a-days until Simone started her first junior elite season at 14

[just-survivee]

To the highschool football player I worked with when I was 16,

I didn't like it. I left everyday we worked together with bruises on parts of my body there should never be bruises. It hurt, immensely. I didn't have a choice. You held me so tight I couldn't breathe most times.

When we crossed paths in the hall you ignored my existence, yet when you had me to yourself in 'private' you forced yourself onto my entire existence.

But don't worry, being called a whore by my peers took my mind off of the pain you caused me.

[indymoonchild]

WHY I DIDN'T REPORT

1st: I was 13, he 14, he was my first boyfriend. I wasn't ready to tongue kiss or all the other stuff and made this very clear, he still did it and afterwards said "see this isn't so bad". I didn't want to go against it since he said he was depressed and would jump in front of a train. I didn't report because I didn't want to ruin his life anymore since I saw his parents were very hard on him, and I was supposed to like it.

2nd: I was 14 he was 17, he lived in a village next to mine, when I broke up with him for cheating with my best friend at that time he begged me to stay and talk about it, so I did but he stayed quiet. when I wanted to bike away he grabbed my bike so I couldn't get away. He held me tight and grabbed my breast as tight as possible and pinched me really hard I screamed. He kissed me and grabbed my butt whispered dirty things in my ear. I told him I didn't want this but he said that he wouldnt let go of me unless I took him back and got to see him tomorrow. So I agreed to those things for the sake of letting me go. When I got home I deleted and blocked him on everything.

3nd: I was 15 he was 17, our first date was at a local zoo where he unexpectedly put his hand down my pants in the middle of the zoo. I put his hand away, but he put it back and grabbed thighter every time. Later when we wanted to go, he tried pulling me into a bush near the zoo, my dad came right on time because I didn't wanna go with the guy. The relationship lasted 4 months, and I ended it because he became posessive, and he talked behind my back to his frienda and had a lot to say about my appearence. I didn't report because I didn't see this as rape or abuse at that time, I thought is was what I deserved, so he said.

4th: I was 15 he 18, he lived in the same village. Most of the time I didn't want sex because of my exes. He didn't really listen. I most of the time pretended I liked having sex or pretended I was asleep, because he was very intimidating and threatened me a couple times, and also gave me bruises.

5th: same guy, but I was now 16 and he 19. I came back to him because I thought it was the only love I deserved, and the only person who'd ever love me. The threats got worse and when I broke uo with him I got severe anxiety and panic attacks because he threatened me that he would kill me or let somebody else kill me when he saw me again. I didn't report because of fear.

I still haven't reported any of these guys, and I don't kmow if I should. I don't want to bring it all up again in detail.

[mollystearsricochet]

it would mean a lot to me if you could sign this!

[yovremytype]

TW: I saw “why I didn’t report” trending on twitter earlier. I’m not at a place to write about my experiences somewhere where I have so many people I know irl following me, but I do want to share my story in case there’s anyone out there who needs to hear it. So here I go... #WhyIDidntReport I was drunk and in his car. I didn’t know who he was. I blamed myself and felt like no one would believe me.

[saddtears]

why I didn’t report sign up in New York

[glittercatmomma]

RAPE CULTURE RANT

Back in the day, I was sexually assaulted in a college dorm room while I was completely unconscious. I woke up, not even knowing that I was sexually assaulted and I did not find out until about two months later because I miscarried a child that I didn’t know I had since I thought I DID NOT HAVE SEX DURING THOSE TWO MONTHS.

I confronted him because I knew it was sexual assault, but he was so manipulative that he lead to me to believe that it was completely consensual and that we loved each other.

I did not have the chance to report the incident because I knew it wouldn’t have gone anywhere because I found out two months too late so there was no proof, and I continued to date him for another month because I was completely brainwashed.

During health class shortly after, we had a BIG lesson on sexual assault and they taught us the three main rules of consent which were voluntary, verbal, and sober. It finally hit me that you might be in love with the person, but that doesn’t matter if they RAPED you. They did not have “drunk sex” with your unconscious body. They RAPED your unconscious body.

The other night, I was with a boy I have been seeing for about a month now and he knows that I have been sexually assaulted before. Since I’m a legal studies major, I like to talk about politics a lot, and Kavanaugh is the talk of the town right now. I thought this wouldn’t be a bad topic because he knows what I’ve been though... APPARENTLY HE DIDN’T CARE.

He proceeded to say that “the woman who came forward had no right to do so since it has been so long, and if it was such a problem, she should’ve reported it then instead of ruining his life later on. Someone should not be held to their mistakes forever”.

I burst into tears damn near immediately since he knew DAMN GOOD AND WELL I didn’t report my incident. But if the boy who RAPED me was about to be in a position of power on the SUPREME FUCKING COURT OF THE UNITED STATES, you bet your ass I would be telling people right then and there! I also believe that rape is not a mistake. It is a conscious act that you make. You can absolutely regret raping someone for the rest of you life like you would any other mistake, but you should pay for the actions of sexual assault. Just because you got away with it while you were fifteen, doesn’t mean that you can avoid it for the rest of your life. You broke the person you assaulted mentally, physically, and emotionally while NOTHING happens to you. What about the victims? What about US?

We go through PTSD and clinical depression after. We can’t trust anyone for a while after and sex is not the same for a long time. I still cry in the middle of sex for no reason sometimes and it has been THREE YEARS. How come I am stuck with all these new found psychological issues while my attacker is not affected in the slightest? How is it fair that his life is fine and my life fell apart?

Kavanaugh potentially being on the Supreme Court is not easy to watch for people who have been sexually assaulted. Trump being elected president hasn’t been easy to watch for people who have been sexually assaulted. By electing this man and confirming the other, everyone is basically saying a big “fuck you” to the victims of sexual assault. We are sitting here blaming ourselves for what happened and watching our attackers live their lives like nothing happened.

The woman who was sexually grabbed by Trump? She had to watch him become president. Or how about Paula Jones? The woman who rejected Clinton’s unwanted sexual advances toward her and almost lost her job over it? She also had to watch him stay in his position of power as president. The WOMEN who have stepped forward about Kavanaugh? Might have to watch him sit on the Supreme Court. My attacker? Now has a family and a baby.

What is currently happening in politics at this moment is hard for ANYONE who has ever been sexually assaulted, both men and women. IT IS EXCRUCIATING AND MENTALLY DRAINING. My depression and anxiety has gotten worse just from seeing the Kavanaugh confirmation continue to happen.

Yes, the Kavanaugh nomination has nothing to do with me, but at the same time is has EVERYTHING to do with me. It has EVERYTHING to do with ANYONE who has ever been victimized.

Long story short, I am no longer seeing the person I’ve been dating for a month because I don’t need a man who thinks that someone doesn’t deserve to be punished for sexually assaulting someone just because they didn’t get caught.

[just-survivee]

You have a wife and kid now.

Does she know what you did to me? Does she know that you told me I wasn't aloud to be "done"? Does she know you told me "if you make a sound ill let my friend have a turn"? Does she know you forced me to lose my virginity that night?

Of course she doesn't, but I hope she will.

[rolypolyjolie]

To my fellow survivors:

I see you. I hear you. I BELIEVE YOU.

If you’re at a point where you can make a public statement, that is okay. If you’re not at a point where you can make a public statement, that is okay. If you are never at a point where you can make a public statement, that is okay.

Take care of yourselves.

I love you.

[maarcelahh]

[thegirlonalimb-blog]

TW: r*pe, coercion, minor mentioned

So I was thinking back to my younger years tonight and had a realization. Let me tell you a story. When I was 14 I was a high school freshman and I started dating a senior guy. He turned 18 shortly after this story takes place. We had stayed after school for an optional band performance. We went on a walk in the woods behind our school (we lived in Hick town). He said he just wanted to talk privately. Then we wandered so far we were at the edge of a corn field. He kept kissing me and I felt him get hard. He asked if I would give him oral and I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to go that far. He said it would be fine, we had plenty of time before the band thing and it was optional, plus no one was out there but us. I kept saying I wasn't sure so he started to threaten to break up with me. At the time I was very naive and vulnerable, so eventually I caved. Then he wanted more, this time a rim job. I suggested we would be late for the performance, so he said we would just skip it and no one would notice. I said his sister (my best friend) would be worried. He said that if I didn't do this he would tell her we were out in the woods because I was telling him I cheated and that I had sex with 3 guys while I was still dating him. His sister was a known gossip and would have believed him since they were close. I caved again. It has taken me almost 6 years to realize that was sexual assault. That situation is not supposed to be normal and I was coerced and threatened into performing sexual acts that I did not want to do. I never even thought of it as wrong until now. This is rape culture.

[teenvogue]

A Year After the Weinstein Allegations, the #MeToo Movement Largely Hasn't Reformed Survivor Justice

On October 5, 2017, some people say the world changed — or at least it was supposed to. That day, a year ago, the New York Times published the first sexual misconduct allegations against Harvey Weinstein, claims that quickly grew from a few alleged survivors to a whole army of them. In the months that followed those allegations, many other powerful people were forced to reckon with past sexual abuse, harassment, and assault they had perpetrated. What became known as the #MeToo movement was called a tipping point, and in many ways it was.

Mostly, #MeToo has succeeded in making it acceptable to talk about the sexual misconduct that’s been going on for decades and decades. But while survivors are facing their trauma through calling hotlines, opening up to loved ones, and posting on social media, that public reckoning largely hasn’t translated into actual justice.

In the past year, many survivors of sexual abuse have come forward with their allegations in a world that’s seemingly more open to talking about them. This is evident on social media, where #MeToo spread like wildfire after the hashtag, based on a movement created by Tarana Burke more than a decade ago, was revitalized. But it is also evident in the call volume increase the National Sexual Assault Hotline saw in the months following the initial Weinstein allegations. According to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, the hotline saw a 21% increase in calls at that time. Beyond talking about it, some major institutions — like the Senate — have changed their sexual harassment policies to better protect people in the work place. And the movement has spread globally, too, with the #MeToo hashtag being used across the world. And, of course, there have been some notable moves by the justice system after #MeToo picked up in the last year. Bill Cosby was sentenced to prison, and Weinstein was indicted on multiple sexual misconduct charges.

But as time has passed, some of those who were knocked down by #MeToo allegations are slowly and quietly creeping back into positions of power and celebrity. We saw Louis C.K. returning to the stage nearly a year after being accused of, and apologizing for, repeatedly masturbating in front of female colleagues. Jian Ghomeshi, who was accused of sexual assault by more than 20 women, will have an article in the October 11 edition of the New York Review of Books that purports to reflect on this exact situation — what happens to men after they are accused of sexual assault. Ghomeshi was acquitted of sexual assault charges and settled an additional sexual assault charge "with a peace bond and public apology" as noted by an editor's letter preceding his piece. And, as the Senate considers a Supreme Court nominee who has been accused of sexual misconduct by three women, many in the national spotlight have argued not over whether the nominee is guilty of assault, but whether it would actually matter if he was. The President of the United States cast doubt on nominee Brett Kavanaugh’s accusers, wondering why Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, the first to come forward, took decades to do so. That gave rise to #WhyIDidntReport — yet another social media movement in which survivors were forced to explain the systems of oppression, shame, and fear that kept them from reporting their assaults.

Our society has just come around to the idea that there is something wrong.

With all that, many have wondered what #MeToo has really changed, if anything. Certainly, things are different now, some have said. It would be hard for things to stay the same after a nationwide, even global, conversation about sexual misconduct. But when it comes to justice for survivors, experts say the systems in place are largely the same.

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