#why? because of college transfer applications and work taking over my life
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Eddie looked down at the flyer in his hand for the one millionth time. At least that’s how it felt.
Coming to college had taken two years of work, picking up classes at the community college to raise his gpa and filling out what felt like hundreds of scholarship applications. But walking through this door felt somehow even harder.
He had been out in Hawkins. But he had wondered if maybe at College it would be better to be stealth. After all, high school had been a nightmare. For once he didn’t want to be “THE trans guy.”
Though according to Argyle, who had sat at the Gay Alliance table all through the fair, he was far from the only trans person at UCLA. And they had a weekly board game night. If it had been any other activity, Eddie would have run for the hills. But this… maybe he could do this.
“You coming in or-“ the guy stared at Eddie through the half open door.
He was pretty, blonde and sort of lean, with blue eyes and a tiny nose.
“Hey, sorry just getting my nerve up,” Eddie thrust out his hand, “I’m Eddie. I just transferred.”
The guy only stared in response.
“Haha,” Eddie fought down a nervous laugh, “Get it? Transferred.”
The guy paled, “I’m Jason.”
“Nice to meet you Jason.”
He gestured to let Eddie inside, blue eyes round and huge. Like he was scared or something. Maybe Eddie should have toned it down, worn something more lowkey.
But when he got inside that didn’t totally track. The one guy, Billy, was local and loud as they came, showing Eddie a picture of him and his mom who was apparently his best friend, a large dangly earring swinging from his ear. And Eden, a trans girl from Utah, was decked out in heavy goth.
So Eddie wasn’t sure what Jason’s issue was.
“So, why a board game night?” He asked. “Not that I’m complaining. I’m a huge game fan, I started my school’s D&D club.”
“Oh, that’s Mr. Treasurer’s thing,” Billy slapped Jason on the back, “Apparently he and his best friend used to play all the time before she unfortunately passed away.”
Jason’s eyes darted over Eddie’s face.
“Oh. I’m so sorry,” Eddie said.
“Can I talk to you in the hallway, Eddie?” Jason said, his voice almost too loud in the quiet room.
“Ok, sure?”
Out in the hallway, Jason closed the door behind them and leaned against it.
“Look,” he said, “You’re being really cool about this. But it’s one hundred percent okay with me if you want to go. I can tell Billy and Eden, or even organize the game nights without me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But for what it’s worth… I’m really fucking sorry, Eddie.”
Eddie was mystified, “What?”
“I’m really fucking sorry. I was so… I hated myself so much, I regret that it made me act out in anger, and I’m… I am so sorry,” Jason said it so earnestly, so sure of something that he’d done wrong but Eddie still didn’t understand.
“Wait, what do you mean? Why would I feel uncomfortable with you?”
“For what I did,” Jason’s eyes looked a little red, and he hunched in closer to himself, folding his arms across his preppy polo, “When I was Jasmin.”
Oh.
Fuck.
Jasmin Carver had made Eddie’s life a living hell in high school. Teasing him constantly, pushing him away from Chrissy, who had actually seemed to like Eddie. Until Chrissy had died senior year, and Jasmin had gone off to college never to return.
Apparently Jasmin was never coming back.
Eddie sucked in a breath, “Oh.”
“You didn’t… recognize me?” Jason looked up, a single tear sneaking out of one eye that he swiped away on his shoulder.
“No,” Eddie said.
“Oh.” Jason nodded, then shook his head, staring at the carpet.
If Eddie ever imagined meeting him again it was never like this. But there was something awful about it too.
He hadn’t been the only trans guy in Hawkins. But because of the way Jason had acted… they had both been alone.
“I’m not out…” Jason sniffed, “No, I guess it would be fair if you outed me back home. I guess I deserve that.”
“What? I’m not gonna do that.”
“It’s fine,” Jason rubbed his eyes, “My parents are mad enough I’m actually taking anti-psychotics instead of just eating broccoli. Might as well just burn that bridge.”
Jason looks up, “But thanks, for being nice. Billy and Eden know that I was totally fucked up in high school. But it was nice. To pretend that… you liked me. Thank you.”
Eddie’s mouth worked before his brain could catch up, “But I can stay right?”
“What?”
“I can stay? If I want?”
“Yeah,” Jason smiled then, and Eddie realized why he hadn’t recognized him. Jasmin Carver had never smiled, not once.
It was a good thing, because it seemed Jasmin Carver was dead. Also, he wasn’t but…
“I’d really like that,” Eddie smiled back. “It’s really nice to meet you Jason.”
Jason sucked in a breath, “it’s nice to meet you too.”
—-
Pst @intothedysphoria it’s them!
#trans jason carver#trans eddie munson#munver#tigerfreak ficlet#tigerfreak#it’s t4t munver#jason x eddie#Eddie x Jason#unrequited? only time will tell#college au#tw ableism#tw transphobia implied
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you give off grad student vibes; are you?
yeah i’m a grad student, like, spiritually ;) no LMAO i’m kidding it would be fucked if someone actually claimed that
real answer tho, no i’m not currently! i’m taking some time off to work a job, have hobbies, and be a “student of life” or whatever, which is what i was trying to convey with that bad intro joke.
so, this is way more than you asked for, but… idk i’ve been meaning to say a lot of this for a while and writing it all out felt good, so unfortunately your ask is now the base for it lmao!
i think it’s important to talk about academic stress and how it can ruin not just your love of learning, but your sense of self.
for background info, i have a general Associate of Arts degree, and a Bachelor of Arts degree for which i completed a comparative literature major, with an ‘official’ focus in creative writing (though ‘personal’ focus in poetry, video games, film, and the fluidity between those mediums), and a minor in religious studies. i graduated in may of this year.
now, as a child, my mom was very harsh about school, to the point that my cousins would not want to come over during summer breaks because they knew we would be doing some sort of worksheets that my mother had designed. my “free” time was filled with non-stop educational camps, day classes, documentary watching, museum trips with worksheets, etc. until i was about age 14. and i do know that on one hand i am extraordinarily privileged to have had those experiences, and i am very thankful for them! but the reason those stopped is because i also grew up with several undiagnosed, thus untreated and increasingly severe mental illnesses. so i’m sure you can make the connections necessary to see how… damaging… my mother’s academic pressure became. i didn’t continue with further extracurricular programs because i ceased to be able to go even to regular school. my anxiety, both academic and social, became so severe that i was placed on a local program called “home hospital school”, which is normally reserved for terminally ill patients. i eventually transferred to an “early college” program because i could not go back to “regular” high school and at that point, wanted to be done with school as quickly as possible.
i took a gap year after graduating with both my high school and 2-year college degree on the same day. i was terrified and exhausted and having regular breakdowns about having to apply for more undergraduate classes. eventually i applied to 2 programs just to appease my mother that i would have at least one school and a “back-up,” and my first choice was the program at UNC-CH i just graduated from. i attended therapy just to push myself to do those applications.
and the first half of my time at UNC was… terrifying and confusing. i didn’t know what i actually “wanted” to do with my life let alone my day-to-day time, what i enjoyed, or why i was there. my dissociative disorder grew worse during that time than it had in my entire life. but eventually, being away from my mother gave me the chance to explore topics i never thought were even possible in an academic space! i took classes where we played video games for an hour straight, talked about the social origins of different urban legends, dissected how people fall for conspiracy theories, excitedly discussed queer and disabled life as a form of radical resistance… i even got so lucky that in my senior year, i was able to take only the classes i wanted and had chosen for personal enrichment.
what i’m trying to say is that i’d forgotten that learning could be fun. the reason my mom pushed me so hard in the first place, that little spark she saw in my eye: i fucking love learning, i love to discover, to fuel my curiosity, to ask dangerous questions. i love digging into the meat of life and finding out why and how. because it helps me understand more about myself, my friends, my passions. i spent so long doing what my mother wanted that i no longer knew what i wanted, or who i even was outside of her expectations.
which is exactly the reason i can’t go back to school right now. what i hope anyone still reading takes away from my words is this: if the subject doesn’t make you hungry for more, it’s not the subject for you. if you’ve spent so long being force-fed that you can’t remember what’s actually good to eat anymore? you must re-learn not only how to chew, but how to truly taste your food.
‘cause personally i feel like i need to stock my kitchen with so many more ingredients before i’ll be ready to cook the meal i truly want, y’know? and i know some of those ingredients i probably don’t even know the name of yet. to go back to school right now would be limiting for me. i’m pirating anthropology essays, experimenting with new photography methods, taking metalworking classes, writing a fake thesis about my favorite band, reading and reading and reading whatever the hell i want about any weird subject that strikes me. i’m expanding my goddamn palate.
#diary#graduate school#grad school#undergraduate#undergrad student#chaotic academia#academia#college#university#dark academia#< hoping some of y’all in these tags will see this and know you’re not alone. know there are other options.#studyblr#anon#graduate student#grad studies#bachelors degree#associates degree#school#uni#light academia#classic academia#academia aesthetic#education
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20/5/2023
it's 3:50 in the damn morning and I have work at 1130AM... WTF!
I got fucking admitted to YorkU 48 damn hours ago.
I already accepted my offer at seneca- to that, I've been thinking about my next few years there
I already paid the down payment of $500
I spent over $300 on res that mom doesn't know about because I was so damn curious on Newnham rather than King City..then I got fucking revoked bc that was retarded asf even tho they still had 35 spots available... so why big rush me on that stupid questionnaire.
THEREFORE $800 and paying for courses havent even started yet
anddddddd I just submitted my thing to OSAP so fuck me
so yea, I am annoyed how they were fucking taking their time & playing w my feelings admitting me pretty fucking late in the game... which leads me to here trying to think straight.
I already played the hypothetical card w mom this morning if I were to change my mind to another school. and I know it will hurt her but as a front she says "everyone changes their mind" --> which btw made me internally cry bc I love her so much (increases the pressure even more to not fuck up any. decision for the following days whether I should stay in Seneca than pass my shot at York)
it was already so damn chaotic for dad to accept the fact im going to college. damn. how tf do I tell him, yeah I wasted ur money AGAIN for admission because IM CHNAGING MY MIND AGAIN but don't worry because this time it's at York...
I hate this thinking game
Cassie made a point how it is still possible to transfer no matter what
Alex too did make a point that having a balance life will be important
Judy was right this was my first choice if I were to get accepted
IM SO CONFUSED
I feel that because the last week I've been using my iPad as a check list to getting shit done like
calling PEI for a job
being transfers at PEI's Garage
pulling up at Montreal
calling Seneca for scholarships
calling Seneca for login difficulties
calling for residence info
that when and IF I were to think about York I would have to be doing all this shit in 2x speed meaningggggg
I have to inform RND and OVS to transfer my transcript to the admission office at York
get my York email working
[re]apply for residence at York
meaning my newer set of questions would be
[re]inquiring for York scholarships &&&& course enrolment
[re]applying / correcting my Osap application
alsoooo meaning that paying residence is another affaire (such as in Seneca offered 3 different options on how to pay the instalment for residence)
--- currently 4:39 AM ----
I have been on so many Reddits reviews because I am just being pulled from one side to the other when trying to decide what school VS the other.
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Hey, I'm back! Have a bunch of pictures of me because I know that's what you've been waiting for!
#where have you been audrey you might ask#why? because of college transfer applications and work taking over my life#lord I've missed making art#self portrait#digital art
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you have (1) new voicemail
pairing: jimin x reader (though what their relationship is is unclear) genre: mystery, angst (? as always), fluff (like a wee bit), epistolary fic! warning: mentions of a ballet accident (nothing detailed, just that something happened), jimin is missing, implied!depression beta reader: hana! @cutechim this story would not have happened without you and i absolutely adore you. also thank you to noor @papillonsgf because you were the first person i talked to about this story and uhhhhh well let’s just say this story may be different than what you were expecting word count: 4.9k (this used to be drabble series lmao)
things you said series: things you said through the phone summary: “Hi, Jimin. It’s me.” (alt. you leave voicemails for jimin when taehyung asks you if you’ve heard from him recently.)
A/N: this is all dialogue, which is ironic—to say the least—because i find dialogue painfully difficult to write (it doesn’t come naturally to me, it conflicts with my writing style, and it’s just difficult to write it in a way that feels real.) nonetheless, i hope it comes across the way i wanted it to, and i hope it makes you feel something.
December 5th at 14:30
Hi, Jimin. It’s me.
I know we haven’t talked in a while, but-uhm-I saw Taehyung a couple days ago? I happened to be near where that cafe is—what’s it called—Moodspresso! Do you remember it? We wanted to go when it was new, back when you were taking that coffee-making class with Yoongi. You were such a dork: you wanted to go all around the city to judge cafes by their espressos, even though you weren’t a fan of the bitterness.
We never did get around to trying it together: I think we tried to make plans, but it was out of the way of where we were, and then life happened, and then, well...it happened.
When I saw it, it felt strange, as if a fragment of my past found its way into my present? It was kind of funny how I went in there thinking about you, only to see Taehyung. Weirdly fitting, considering how the two of you were always together, joined at the hip in college.
Anyway, he asked me if I had heard from you recently? Told me you haven’t texted him in a while, that you weren’t answering your phone, so I just wanted to check in! You know, say hi! I—uhm—tried to text you, but it wouldn’t deliver, so I figured I would just leave a voice message. I hope that’s okay. I hope you’re doing okay. If you hear this, you should probably text Taehyung; it seems like he’s worried. Said you usually respond within the day, but you haven’t been lately.
I-uhm-hope you’re doing okay. Text me back and let me know?
Bye, Jimin.
*beep*
December 12th at 15:21
Uh, hey Jimin. I didn’t hear from you, so I thought I would check back in.
I saw on facebook that Jeongguk’s dating. Isn’t that strange? I mean, it’s not strange that he’s dating; it’s just strange that it’s Jeongguk who’s dating. You know, our Jeonggukkie, the one who could barely talk to his crushes without getting tongue tied.
It seems like not too long ago he was the scrawny high schooler stressing about college applications, but he’s dating now. We used to help him with his personal statements and here he is. Dating. That’s just—wow. Time flies, I guess.
I don’t know if you’ve kept in touch with him lately, so i just wanted to let you know. You know, in case you didn’t see it.
I-
This is so stupid; I’m so sorry.
Uhm, let me know if you get this?
Bye, Jimin.
*beep*
December 14th at 19:42
I went to the bookstore today and I saw that your favourite manga released its final volume. That’s so...wild.
I remember you were reading it when I first met you in high school and to think that it’s over? That’s like Supernatural coming to an end, you know? Something that has gone on for so long that it feels weird that it’s ending. That it’s no longer a part of our lives that grows with us. It’s something that has an ending.
Speaking of endings, I don’t know if you’ve seen the ending of Supernatural, but don’t do it. It just-wow.
Anyways, I haven’t kept up with the manga, but when I saw that they released the final volume, I felt the need to buy it? I went in to buy something else and came out with all of the volumes that I hadn’t read.
I could have just read them online, I know, but I figured, if I see you again, I'd give you the final volume? Unless you already have it. Then I’d just keep it, but...you know. I just-
It made me think of you. How you transferred in late in the school year with crutches, and even though you were new, you weren’t paying attention in math class. I remember my first impression of you being “he must not care about school.” I think I later learned you had just started reading the manga a couple days ago and wanted to catch up because you couldn’t think about anything else.
It didn’t even matter that you didn’t pay attention that week or that you came in mid-school semester because you aced every class. I thought it was because you were smart without trying, which irked me because I always felt like I was trying and not accomplishing—though I suppose that still applies now—but I later learned how much effort you put in. You always tried so hard that you made things seem easy. School work. Your happiness. Your feelings to a certain extent.
I just-
I wish-
Nevermind.
I hope you’re doing okay.
*beep*
December 17th at 13:21.
Hey, Jimin.
I tried to make pasta today, and I don’t know how, but I managed to get the sauce everywhere. Everywhere but in the pan. So now, my kitchen looks like a bloody crime scene with red everywhere. I don’t even know how I’m going to clean all of this up, but I should do it before it dries, right?
I should, but I’ve just been sitting on the floor looking at it for the past few minutes.
Do you remember when we made pasta for our fakesgiving potluck at your place, and I got sauce all over your shirt?
I was wearing your white shirt—why I thought wearing a white shirt while making red sauce was a good idea, I don’t know—and I was trying to get the jar to open, but it wouldn’t work. I don’t think i’ve ever told you about this, but I remember that day was particularly awful for me. Just one unlucky event after another—I don’t quite remember what exactly they were, just that they were enough to make me feel like I wasn’t enough—and even though I was so excited for the fakesgiving potluck the night prior, even though I loved our friends, I just wanted to be alone. To not do anything and settle under the covers. Pretend everything could be forgotten if I just went to sleep.
But I saw you, and you were so excited. I didn’t have the heart to tell you I didn't want to go, so I sucked it up and helped you prep. I tried to pretend that everything was okay, but when that stupid jar wouldn’t open, I took my frustration out on it. You tried to take it from me, but I pushed you away, told you I could do it.
And I did, only I also managed to spill the jar on your white shirt as I watched the jar fall to the ground and shatter. That spill was the tipping point, not because I spilled the only jar of tomato sauce in your apartment, but because I spilled it all over your new, brand name, white shirt.
I remember berating you for spending so much money on a shirt when you bought it—for fuck’s sake, it was a plain white shirt—but I know how much you adored it. I didn’t need to look at your face to know that I had fucked up, that I should have just let you open the jar instead of being stubborn. I started to cry, in anticipation of your anger, but you just held me instead, got pasta sauce on your shirt too as you let me cry on your shoulder, whispering “There, there. It’s okay. We can just make something else!”
You never even mentioned the white shirt, told me not to worry about it when I apologised, that it was the least of your concerns. That you could get another shirt.
Looking at my kitchen reminded me of that. So, I figured I’d give you another call, but it went straight to voicemail again.
I hope you’re doing okay.
I don’t know if you want to talk to me, but I’m just worried.
Call me if you get this?
Or just send me a text.
Bye, Jimin.
*beep*
December 19th at 21:45.
Hey. There’s a full moon today. And I thought about you.
I—uhm—think about you from time to time when the moon is bright. I don’t know why—it probably sounds stupid—but I have a lot of memories of you and the moon? Like that time we went to visit Jeongguk by the sea during winter break because all of us didn’t want to go home but didn’t want to be alone. So we made a road trip of it—well, it was kind of a road trip—and drove to San Diego to see him.
When we got to the sea, it was dark and so cold out, and the wind was fucking freezing, but we rolled up our pants and started walking along the shore, dipping our toes in the water and screaming about the temperature. Our teeth were chattering and the water was so so cold, but we did it anyways.
It was a nice beach, from what I remember. One of the nicest I’ve ever seen.
I stuck my hand into your jacket pocket and told you my hand warmer was dying, but to be honest, I just wanted to hold your hand. I think you knew, or maybe we had known each other for so long that you knew what I needed without having to express it in words, so you took my hand and held it tight. And even though the water was freezing and the wind was cold, in that moment, I felt so warm.
I think you and I have always communicated well, like how I saw the way your eyes glinted in the moonlight and, somehow, knew what you wanted to do. Sneaked up behind him and pushed Jeongguk into the ocean together and laughed as he shrieked.
It was fun, that day. I-
I miss those days sometimes. The earlier days. When there was less to worry about.
When you were happier.
Anyway, the moon is really bright today. The radio called it a supermoon, or something like that. I took a picture and tried to send it to you, but your phone still won’t let me send you messages. So if you hear this, just, go outside and take a look at the night sky.
Call me back? Or send me a text.
I just want to know you’re okay.
Bye Jimin.
*beep*
December 21st at 16:28
I went to see The Nutcracker today. It felt like I haven’t seen a ballet in forever. It’s been—what—one year since I saw one? Which, I guess, in the grand scheme of things hasn’t been that long. But you were the one who would take me and I haven’t seen one since...yeah. I know it’s your favourite ballet. Or was. I’m not sure if it’s changed, haha.
The American Ballet Theatre was putting on a performance, and there were still nosebleed seats available, so I bought one. It kind of felt like fate, like it was a sign that I was meant to be there, because I remember we used to get our tickets months in advance.
I remembered some of the terms? I recognised the pa-pas de deux—god, my high school french is so fucking rusty—between the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Prince. I know that part is your favourite, but I still think “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy” is mine. All those turns? I don’t remember the technicalities, but I know it requires a lot of skill to pull off while looking graceful. I still find it strange that the Sugar Plum Fairy is the prima ballerina though, considering she barely appears.
I-uhm-kind of was hoping to see you.
I know you don’t dance anymore, but—maybe it was just my stupid desire but—I was hoping that you would be dancing with the company. That perhaps you were dancing again and that was why you weren’t answering any of the calls. I kept looking at everyone, trying to see if it was you. I even paid extra attention to the curtain call and looked at every single person, kept trying to find your physique in the line. But you weren’t there.
You weren’t in the audience either. I stayed in my seat until the very end, until after the end, and scanned the crowd for anyone who was lingering and soaking in the energy, like you would do every time we went to see a ballet together. But there wasn’t. It was just me.
I stayed in my seat anyways, until the ushers told me I had to leave. Because that’s what you would have done.
I guess I was hoping you would show up. That trying to do what you would do would somehow unlock your presence. Or give me some kind of clue.
But it didn’t.
Where are you?
*beep*
December 23rd at 17:19.
I saw Taehyung again today.
He wanted to know if I'd heard from you. I don’t know why he thought you would contact me. I mean, I know I call you and leave you these messages, but you know. I haven’t talked to you since...since, yeah.
He looked awful, like he’s running himself thin. I don’t know if he’s been sleeping well, Jimin. The two of you have been friends forever, and I don't know if you’d recognise him. He seems so tired, and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
He thought it was going to be like last time. That you would show up soon. But you haven’t yet, and it’s been so long, Jimin.
He called the hospital and they told him you quit a few weeks back, which I don’t understand. I thought you needed residency to get your physiotherapy license. Tae doesn’t get it either.
He’s been going to your apartment, trying to see if anyone is in there. But there hasn’t been. He’s contacted your apartment manager several times, telling them he’s worried about you, but they won’t let him have the keys. Safety reasons. It’s understandable and frustrating all at once because he—we just want to make sure you’re okay.
He said he used to have a key to your apartment. Said you gave him your spare, but you took it back? Something about you needing your spare because you locked yourself out. He said that was the last time he saw you.
I’m not trying to jump to conclusions, but you’re okay right? I know this time of year is when—uhm, the accident happened and you-uh-left the Royal Ballet School. I know this isn’t your favourite time of year, but if you need to talk, I’m here.
He’s worried, Jimin. We all are.
Call me back? Or call Tae? We’re just worried and Tae wants to file for a missing person’s report. So just, let us know you’re okay.
Call me soon, yeah?
*beep*
December 27th at 22:48.
I saw Yoongi today.
I don’t think he likes me very much, but then again, I wouldn’t like my cousin’s ex either, so I can’t really blame him. He was still as civil as ever. Very polite. He and Seokjin are still dating, but I’m sure you knew that.
Tae had contacted Yoongi a couple days ago? Asking about you. So we all met up in person today.
I forgot how much food Seokjin makes when he’s stressed. Do you remember when he was waiting to hear back from his job, and Yoongi invited us over for dinner? We were excited because we were college students and living off of the shitty cafeteria food and, also, because it was Seokjin’s food. You thought it was because they wanted to feed us—Seokjin always wanted to feed you—but when we went over, it was obvious they just needed help getting rid of the food. There was so much food. To this day, I don’t think I've ever seen so much food in one place, even during our potlucks, and Seokjin always brought a lot of food to our potlucks.
I remember stepping in to their apartment, and the heat radiating from the kitchen was too much to bear. The walls were sweating because he had been cooking for seven hours, trying to displace his anxiety into food. We came back to the dorms with tupperwares full of food. I didn’t have to visit the cafeteria for a week.
God, I’ll never forget the first time we met Seokjin, and he made us fried rice: you couldn’t stuff your face fast enough and choked because it went down the wrong pipe, coughed out fried rice all over their brand new dining table and all over Yoongi. Seokjin and I laughed so hard. I was trying to be polite, kept looking at Yoongi's face and tried to swallow my giggles, but Seokjin's laughter was so boisterous and lively that I couldn't not laugh.
You laughed too, kept choking on your laughter in between your apologies, and Yoongi just kept glowering at you. But it was full of affection. He didn’t say anything. Just looked at you and back at the table and huffed, but it would have been obvious to anyone that he wasn’t really annoyed with you.
He went back to our hometown a couple days ago, tried to see if you were there. But you weren’t.
He went to see your parents, but they still think you’re living here too. Yoongi said he went to all the places you used to go to, like your old ballet school and that comic book store you used to go to after school. I even asked him to visit the arcade. You know, where we first met outside of school? Where we would hang out after school with Jeongguk and spend too much money on House of the Dead. Where we had our first date.
But nothing.
There are traces of you everywhere, but you? You’re not anywhere.
Where’d you go, Jimin?
*beep*
December 28th at 2:19
Fuck you.
You don’t get to do this to me. I spent so long trying to forget and trying to move on and you come back in, except—do you know what the most fucked up part of this is? It’s that you’re not even here. You’re not here, and somehow you’re everywhere. No matter what I do, all I can do is think about you because no one knows where you are. Everyone is worried because you’re missing and I-I don’t know what to do.
I thought this was over a year ago.
So why, why are you back in my life? Why are you reawakening the things I've tried so hard to bury?
Fuck you.
*beep*
--
December 28th at 2:23
Hey Jimin. Just ignore that previous voicemail. I’m just--I’m just frustrated. Worried. Everyone is.
Just call me back if you get this?
*beep*
--
December 28th at 2:25
You don’t even need to call. Just give me a sign? Let me know you’re okay. Please.
I just want to know you’re safe.
*beep*
December 30th at 1:13
Jeongguk flew in from New York today. Tae called him yesterday, and he took the first flight here.
I realised I’ve never seen Jeongguk mad.
I guess I’ve kind of seen him grow up, but I’ve never seen Jeongguk angry until today. I mean, I've seen him upset and angry, but I’ve never seen him mad. Like mad mad. I’ve never been on the receiving end of it because he’s always had his emotions in check when it comes to the negative ones. We’ve seen him sad, but you know how he is. He seems like he doesn’t care, but he cares so much when it comes to the people he loves. He’s always trying to only share the good things because he doesn’t want to bring everyone down. And even when he’s upset with us, he tries to communicate. He’s always been emotionally mature in that sense.
A lot like you. I think he gets that from you. You are his brother after all.
But when we told him none of us had heard from you? That you were missing?
I realised we’ve ever really seen Jeongguk angry.
I’ve never seen Tae look so despondent or Yoongi so guilty than when we saw Jeongguk at the airport. They didn’t want to worry him because he had just moved for his new job—I’m sure you know about that—and he’s been so stressed out that they didn’t want to add more on to his plate.
They thought you would show up by now, that you would come back. Because you always do. Or did. You used to.
I remember the first time you disappeared. It was a year after you came back, the anniversary of the...the accident. You were a little distant a couple days prior, but still you. Still vibrant and happy and beau-I mean, bright. And then on the day of, you were just gone. Didn’t show up to school. Weren’t at the arcade. Weren’t at your apartment. Just gone. Vanished into thin air.
I remember asking Jeongguk if you were sick, but he had no idea what I was talking about, and when we couldn’t get a hold of you, he burst into tears. I held him as he told me about your fight last night, how you got your xbox taken away because the two of you didn’t know how to share. He thought you had left because you didn’t love him, because he was your step brother and not your real brother.
And as we were panicking about what to do, if we should tell your parents when they came back from work, you stepped through the front door with sand in your hair and your backpack over your shoulder, smiling as if you hadn’t been missing for half the day. As if your phone wasn’t turned off all day.
I remember feeling relieved and exhausted all at once, as if someone had drained all the worry and energy out of me. I remember Jeongguk crying as he ran to hug you. I remember you crying and promising not to go anywhere without telling him again.
And you didn’t. Sometimes you would disappear when something hit too close or when you felt like everything was too much, but we could always turn to Jeongguk for a breadcrumb, for the small hint that you were okay.
But you didn’t leave him a hint this time. When we called him, let him know you were missing, asked him if he knew anything about your whereabouts, he didn’t say anything. He went so quiet, we thought the line went dead, until he actually did hang up. He sent us a text message a few minutes later, letting us know he’ll be arriving on the next flight there.
Jeongguk-he’s so cold when he’s angry. He’s so quiet. But that quiet is so loud. It speaks volumes.
I’ve seen Jeongguk loud with laughter and quiet in contemplation. But this? This was something different.
I guess the two of you are alike in that sense too. Both of your silences are never just quiet.
*beep*
December 30th at 15:37
So we-uhm-broke into your apartment.
Or well, Jeongguk did. But I guess all of us are accomplices because we kind of-well, we stood there as he did it. I don’t know why Jeongguk even knows how to pick locks, but I didn’t really have the chance to ask.
Your apartment looks normal. Still spotless. It looks like you. Like how it used to. Or how it used to before we lived together, at least.
I’m not going to lie, I-I’m a little surprised you didn’t move out. I couldn’t even go to the places we used to go to after you told me you wanted to break up.
I guess it didn’t bother you as much.
We scoured your apartment for clues as to where you could have gone, which may sound very Paper Towns of us, but—I don’t know—we were just looking for any sign as to where you might be. If you were okay. There weren’t any notes or anything that could give us a hint though, and Tae said it doesn’t look any different than when he last visited.
Jeongguk also called your credit card company to see what your last purchases were. To see if it would give us any clues. But you haven’t used it since you left. Everything is just blank.
Blank. Like you don’t want to be found.
Jeongguk is still upset that none of us told him—I can’t blame him for that—but I think he’s mostly upset at himself that he didn’t know. That you two stopped talking for a bit, and he didn’t notice anything was wrong.
I think he feels like he’s been drifting away from you too, ever since his job got busy and he moved for work. Or maybe it’s before that. I think he’s always felt like you don’t tell him everything, even though he pours everything out to you, looks up to you. I know you’d give him the world, Jimin, but Jeongguk would give up everything for you if you ask.
But you don’t ask. You never do. You don’t let people in when you’re hurting. Maybe it’s the ballet training instilled in you to smile through the pain. Cover up the flaws. Put on a performance all the time. You pretend it doesn’t exist and push people out.
No, you just disappear instead.
*beep*
December 30th at 21:02
Tae and I are staying over at your apartment. I hope you don’t mind. We just decided we would rather not risk having anyone in your apartment see us try and break down your door and call the police on us, haha. It makes it easier if we’re in your apartment so we can open the door in case we need anything. Or find something that we missed.
It’s-uhm. It’s weird being here. Feels like I've been displaced from the present and back into the past, only you’re not here.
I noticed you took down all the photos of London.You used to have that big photograph wall next to your bed, filled with pictures from when you lived there, from when you used to dance. But all your ballet photos are gone too. Tae told me you took them down a while ago, a little after the break up. Said you stopped dancing for fun too, after a while.
I just-
I hope-
Ah, fuck it. Nevermind.
It’s so weird to be back here.
*beep*
December 30th at 22:14
I found my sweater under your pillow. The white one with the moon on it?
I thought I had lost it after we broke up. I wanted to ask you if you had it, if i forgot to take it with me when I moved out, but by then we had already been one month in and-
And it hurt. To think about you. Even though that was all I was doing.
It kind of felt like it does right now. How you permeate my every thought and every moment, even though you weren’t there. The quiet was-is-so loud with your absence.
It smells like you. The sweater.
I just-
I don’t know what that means.
I don’t know what any of this means.
I just don’t understand why my sweater would be under your pillow because it was you. You’re the one who told me you wanted to break up.
You told me you didn’t want to do this anymore, didn’t have the energy to try. You were so sad, and I wanted to argue, wanted to beg you to let me stay until you were better, but you were so sad. So sad and exhausted and defeated and certain in your decision that I knew there was no use fighting it.
How could I hold on to someone who’s not there anymore, right?
I’ve been telling myself that we can’t understand break ups or feelings. There’s no understanding them. We feel what we feel and sometimes there are no explanations for it. So I knew. I got it. I understood there was no point in asking to stay, but I regretted not asking you for a reason.
I still do.
I didn’t have the chance to ask you why because I was too busy staggering from the weight of I don't love you anymore. Too busy struggling to piece together what those words mean.
Love is a two way street; it goes both ways. But you made the decision, and all of a sudden, that two way street morphed into a dead end, and I had no choice but to walk away from it, back out the way I came from.
I wish I could say that I didn’t see it coming. That it came out of left field, out of the blue. But I can’t because I had been bracing myself for the impact for weeks. For months.
Would it have changed things if I hadn’t known? Would it have hurt less?
I don’t know.
I don’t know. But I wish I did.
I wish I knew, Jimin.
*beep*
Message deleted. You have no new voicemails. Main menu.
A/N: come talk to me! let me know your thoughts! once again, thank you to hana and noor. this story wouldn’t exist without the two of you.
#jimin fanfic#jimin x reader#jimin x oc#jimin fic#jimin angst#bts fic#jimin scenario#bts scenario#bts imagine#jimin imagine#bangtanuniversity#thebtswritersclub#btswritingcafe#heartsforbts
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Chapter 4: Rest Of My Life
Mark Tuan X Reader
Part 4 of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series
Genre: THE SAPPIEST AND CUTEST OF FLUFF (tiniest hints of angst) (horny ass Mark)
Word Count: 14K (Honestly it felt so much longer)
Summary: In every relationship, there are ups and downs. However, after every rainstorm, there is a rainbow. (I fucking hated how cheesy that was I just don’t want to give anything away LOL)
A/N: Finally I am done with this chapter UGH this one took longer to write but yet I feel like it’s the most rushed and repetitive one yet I’m actually not at all happy with how this turned out and there was a lot of fillers in some parts and literally nothing in other parts I just wanted to finish it I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you all would have hoped. By the way, all of your comments on chapter three about who is behind the door made me laugh your minds are so creative I hope you all are happy with who is actually behind the door. I’m both happy and sad that this story is coming to an end (happy because there are so many other stories I can’t wait to write but sad af because I genuinely love this story it’s my first series and I just love how I wrote about Mark in here and the relationship between him and the reader is all I could ever dream about having in a relationship UGH) I don’t know when I’ll get around to writing the fifth chapter but I’m sure it’ll be within the next couple of weeks. With that being said, happy reading!
“Jackson? What are you doing here?”
The last time you saw the older boy was the summer before both him and Mark went off to college. It felt like ages ago—but you were shocked after coming to the realization that it has only been a year. A lot has happened since their graduation; the last thing you heard from Mark was that Jackson was planning on studying abroad in China.
Out of Mark’s entire group of friends, you found yourself gravitating towards him the most. Although, he gave you no choice to do otherwise. Jackson Wang was a golden retriever in human form. Anyone and everyone who entered his path, whether it was accidentally or on purpose would become extremely close with him—and it was usually because of his persistence to make and maintain as many friendships as possible. You were shocked to say the least as your eyes landed on his broadened figure.
Puberty just so happened to favor Mark and his friends—they were all so good looking and very much in amazing shape. Jackson was currently shirtless and if it were anyone else in your shoes, their cheeks probably would’ve turned pink at the sight of his bare chest. You however, were pretty much used to being comfortable around him, Yugyeom, BamBam and Jinyoung.
When it came to their group of friends, you were pretty much desensitized with any of their antics; not wearing clothing was one of them. It came to the point where Mark never allowed you around them if there was a chance they would remove any item of their clothing—but it was not as much because of jealousy; it was more so because the guys would purposely try to get on Mark’s nerves as much as possible.
Most of your best times in high school were because of the wild and rowdy group of guys and you didn’t realize just how much you’ve missed all of them until they all went their separate ways. Honestly, it’s been a while since you’ve heard from any of the guys—but college took up more time than high school did and the four of them, along with your ex-boyfriend all decided to go to school out of state.
They were all so excited when it was time to start filling out applications to all the different universities around the world; Yugyeom and BamBam shocked you the most when you found out that they actually got accepted to what you considered were elite colleges. If those two could get in to college, anybody could. As much as you wanted to laugh at the many memories of how both boys would never fail to get in trouble for either being late to class, or for getting caught with stealing a bunch of condoms from behind your teacher’s desk, it only occurred to you that you just referred to Mark as your ex-boyfriend.
Not once was there ever a time in the duration of your relationship where you would have ever put Mark in the same sentence as the term “ex”. Even when the two of you had your disagreements or unnecessary arguments, there was nothing that would have caused you think like that. Was he really your ex-boyfriend? The two of you were on a break; or so you believed. You explained the difference between a break up and just taking a break.
You didn’t want to break up with Mark; he was your person—your soulmate, your best friend. He was in your life for more than half of it, you weren’t going to give up on him that easily. Both you and your relationship needed time to heal in order for you to be able to continue loving Mark in the ways that you used to. There was not a doubt in your mind that you still loved Mark.
No matter what were to happen down the road, your heart would always belong to him. He was still the only man you wanted to settle down, start a family and spend the rest of your life together with. But you couldn’t help to think negative thoughts like Mark finding solace in someone else. What if this break took a toll on his mental health and he felt the need to confide in another girl? What if he felt that the only way he could stop crying over you was for him to move on and start seeing someone else?
Deep down, you knew Mark would never do anything that would purposely make you sad or go against you in any way. He was the type to talk things out before making any rash decisions. However, it was only human of you to feel as if he was so frustrated with you to the point where he wanted to do something to hurt you just as much as he claimed you were doing to him. Did he consider you his ex-girlfriend?
Was there someone who caught his eye in the last month who made him realize there were many other girls out there? That, instead of moping around and waiting for you to be ready to come back to him, someone else could help fill the void? You didn’t know how to describe the pain you were now feeling at the thought of Mark no longer being in love with you; you’ve been worrying and overthinking about this weeks before initiating the break, and he was never around to make you feel or think otherwise.
Why did your relationship have to become so complicated? Why couldn’t things just have stayed the way they were before Mark left? Why did his efforts lessen knowing that it was going to take twice the amount of time and patience from both of you to continue and maintain a healthy relationship? When did he come to the realization that you were no longer a priority he considered all that important?
“I should be asking you the same thing—although, it’s nice seeing you again. You look seemingly beautiful as always. Albeit a bit messy with more dark circles than the last time we saw each other. It’s a given, but trust me—he looks even more terrible.”
You looked up at him in curiosity of his confession, but you were well aware that Mark probably told him everything. Mark and Jackson were practically brothers. The only person Mark would confide in and admit all his deepest, darkest secrets to other than you was the charming boy standing in front of you. He looked as though he wanted to pull you in for a hug, but he was also pretty hesitant not knowing what you were feeling or thinking. Jackson gave you a knowing look before letting a small smirk rise upon his face.
“Your lover boy is the definition of a lightweight. Mark can’t drink for shit. It only took two beers for him to spill everything to me after he came back from his trip—don’t look at me like that. Yes, we drink. It’s all apart of the college experience y/n. Anyways, I know it’s not my place to meddle in your relationship, but I have never seen Mark so depressed in my many years of knowing him for. It’s obvious this “break” you asked him for is slowly killing him. The love he has for you is something people can only dream about ever experiencing in their lifetime. I caught him going through a photo album that he made of pictures and videos of you and he wouldn’t stop crying until I forcefully took away his phone. Look, I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything and I’m not making up any excuses for him. I’m sure being away from each other is already hard as it is—even worse since you barely get to hear from him but he does have his reasons for being so absent these days. He said he told you he got a job in order to surprise you that week but you didn’t allow him to finish explaining himself.”
Jackson allowed you inside of the dorm room and you were actually pretty surprised at how clean it was. Sure, Mark was always very tidy and liked to keep his space neat; but witnessing Jackson’s tendencies of picking food from up off the ground and eating it right after, you just assumed he wasn’t the type to care about cleanliness and hygiene.
“Wow—nice place. Mark showed me a couple of times over Skype but it’s different actually being here.” He gave you his signature cheeky smile before motioning for you to sit down on the couch.
“Thanks. It was actually his idea to be roommates. I guess he wasn’t all too fond of his previous one and when I decided to transfer over to New York, he offered to let me move in with him. Now, back to what I was saying. For months, Mark kept sulking over how much he missed you and how he was going to do whatever he could to see you again sooner rather than later; so he got a job at this coffee shop right across of campus. Everyone knows Mark hates coffee—but it was the only place that was 24 hours and would work alongside his schedule. Poor guy was barely getting any sleep for the few months leading up to his trip but it didn’t seem to bother him. He was just so stoked to reunite with his “favorite person in the entire world” that he didn’t care how exhausted he was from juggling school, work and his athletics. Our baseball coach even pulled him aside and told him that he needed to get better with managing his priorities or he would kick him off the team. I swear, the night he returned from California, my heart broke for him. He looked so wrecked y/n—but he didn’t say a word. We all know how much of a crybaby he can be, but it was a different kind of sadness. His eyes were so bloodshot and puffy yet they held no emotion in them. He also had no appetite at all and that’s obviously not like him. Boy can eat. I’m not saying you should completely forget how he’s been treating you, but please forgive him. I know he has your best interest at heart. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, anyone with eyes can see just how much you mean to him. Ah—I didn’t mean to make you cry; honestly you and Mark are perfect for each other. I’ll be right back.”
You didn’t even feel tears fall down your cheeks, but it was inevitable. Every single thing that he said tugged on your heartstrings.
Did you get lonely while I was away—working my fucking ass off at a job I hate in order to save enough money so I could come and see you?
For the entire month, Mark’s anger-filled speech from that night replayed over and over in your mind and you felt like such a terrible person now that you understood why he’s been so distant. He tried to tell you, but you just wouldn’t listen. You were so frustrated—so heartbroken in that moment and you wanted him to know the damage that was done to your relationship because he wasn’t as involved in your life as he used to.
Hearing that he was barely getting any sleep nor having any legitimate free time to himself just so that he could save up money to visit you made your stomach sink. You couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been for him. He flew all the way to California to surprise you, only to be met with the idea of a break. It was probably very heartbreaking for him. He worked all those hours—probably put up with a lot of assholes and having to be on his feet for long periods of the day only to find out that his girlfriend needed time to heal from the pain he’s been causing her.
You never felt so angry with yourself—but at the same time, you wouldn’t have known. He never said anything. If things were going to end the way you were hoping they would today, then you would make sure the two of you worked on your communication. Jackson returned back with a box of tissues and a bottle of water to which you thanked him politely and wiped away a few stray tears. As much as you were enjoying his presence, you were there for a reason and Jackson could tell with the way you were looking around the room as if you were expecting someone—Mark—to come out from one of the rooms.
“He’s at work. Don’t worry, he cut back his hours so that he could put more effort in his studies, but he should be done here pretty soon. I better go—I’m going to need some time to find someone who will let me crash on their couch for tonight—or however long you plan on staying here.”
“Why would you need somewhere else to sleep—“ he gave you an incredulous look while playfully raising his brows.
“Oh trust me, we all know what is going to happen between you and Mark once you both kiss and make up. The next thing I need is not being able to get any sleep because of how loud I know it’s going to be—ow! What? Naughty, kinky make up sex is the best! I mean, I’ll stay if I get to join in on the night’s festivities; but we all know how extremely territorial and overprotective Mark is when it comes to you so I’ll let you both have your fun. But don’t have too much fun—we already got noise complaints two months ago when Yugyeom and BamBam came down for spring break and we all got drunk while playing Mario kart. I’ll take my leave, I actually have some assignments I need to work on. Feel free to make yourself at home—oh, and please—no sex on the couch. This is where I take most of my naps, so keep all the raunchiness in the bedroom. I’ll see you later y/n. There’s some pizza in the oven, my room is down the hall on the left, Mark’s is on the right and we actually both have our own bathrooms in our rooms. You’re better off using his, I wasn’t expecting any guests so—yeah. Good luck!”
He pulled you in to a quick hug before grabbing his keys and making his way out the door. Although you couldn’t wait to finally see Mark again, you would have rather Jackson had stayed with you until he did arrive home. You swore your heart was about ready to jump out of your chest while waiting for him. There were so many different scenarios—more negative ones than positive running through your mind about how things were going to play out. If what Jackson said about Mark was true, you were confident that he would take you back with open arms.
However, you were afraid that he was no longer as adamant on fixing things. You were afraid that with your situation with Mark—no matter how many memories the two of you had together, no matter how many years you’ve spent together, no matter how much history the two of you shared—if his heart was no longer in it, there was nothing you could do. Instead of mending your relationship, what if this break only made Mark realize that he didn’t want to put up with your brash and cold exterior?
People change; sometimes they grow apart—what if it was too late to come back together again? Although Jackson did tell you to relax and unwind, you didn’t feel like you had the right to. You’ve never been here before and you were never the type of person to just roam around someone else’s personal area, even if the person was someone you’ve spent over a decade of your life with. A part of you couldn’t help but grow curious as to what Mark’s bedroom looked like.
Did he style it the way he did at his last dorm? Did it look like his room back in California that you’d spent many hours playing video games and doing your homework in? It felt extremely awkward just sitting there waiting for him to walk through the door. You should’ve asked Jackson exactly what time Mark planned on arriving home so you could have better prepared yourself for when he were to finally walk through the doors. Instead of waiting on the couch in agony and doing nothing, you got up and began the search for Mark’s room. You intended on going in to his bathroom and making sure it wasn’t obvious that you had previously cried.
When you first walked in to his room, you immediately took in how clean it was. His walls were white, but you assumed they were already like that before he even moved in. His bed sheets were navy blue and so were his curtains. There was a tv hung up on the wall with a PlayStation and a couple of games set up right under. You decided to take a quick peek around before finally going in to his bathroom to freshen up. As you continued to browse throughout his room, you saw something in the corner of your eye.
Right above his bed frame was a picture board. You absentmindedly found yourself crawling on to his bed to get a better look at all the photos; there were a couple with his family, some with his teammates, a few with his friends back in high school—but most of the photos were with, or of you. There was even a photo of the two of you sitting on his nightstand. This photo however, had a note attached to it. It was always and will forever be you. This time, you allowed the tears to fall freely—you couldn’t give less of a shit about what you looked like anymore.
Always.
You were and would forever be his always. You didn’t care that you had to stay up late just to hear from him—you didn’t care that you only ever saw him physically during the summertime or during the holidays. You didn’t care that all the friends you had made in the last year would brag about the many dates their boyfriends have been taking them on. None of that mattered. Mark loved you—even after all the heartbreak he suffered in the last month because of you, it just proved that he was willing to do anything and everything for you.
“Can I help you find something?”
The sudden interruption caused you to let out a muffled scream. When you turned around to look at him, you had to force yourself not to practically jump at him now that you were fully aware of the many sacrifices he had made just to make you happy. However, you didn’t want to startle him if you were to throw your arms around him. For the first time—Jackson was right. Well, sort of. Mark looked devastatingly handsome; but it was something you were used to. God obviously had his favorites and Mark Tuan was one of them. He did however, look as though he’s been crying for days. He also looked tired beyond belief. You heart was begging for you to go up to him and pull him in to your embrace while leaving as many kisses all along his jaw and neck—but your affection and the need to touch him was just going to have to wait.
“Hey. Sorry, I—I came in here to use the bathroom and I—I didn’t mean to intrude or anything—I can go back outside—“
“No, no. You’re totally fine. I um—I’m sorry if I scared you. How—how have you been? You look great by the way. You haven’t been waiting long have you?”
The laugh of disbelief was at the back of your throat. Standing in front of you was the boy you’ve been in love with for more years than you could count on both of your hands yet—it felt as though you were talking to a stranger. You could tell by his body language and the way he was scratching the back of his neck that he was flustered.
Whenever Mark would get shy around you, it was always a sight to behold. His cheeks would turn the brightest of pinks, he would gnaw on his bottom lip and rock himself back and forth on the heels of his feet. Normally, he would act this way after a passionate night of love making or simply when you would introduce him as the love of your life to one of your family members. In other situations, you would have found his timid exterior to have been extremely adorable, but as of right now, it was suffocating you. You knew you were the reason why he was acting so nervous; so cautious because you were sure he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and scaring you away.
“Jackson let me in about half an hour ago, but it’s okay. He was quite the host until he left to go “study”. I’m surprised at how tidy you’ve been able to maintain this place; or should I say—I’m surprised Jackson has been doing his share and cleaning up. I really like it.”
He thanked you softly before bringing his attention to the floor. Mark was always very confident whenever he spoke; so seeing him uncertain and unsure about how to approach you wasn’t a sight you were quite used to. Nor was it one you ever wanted to get used to. The atmosphere was filled with uncomfortable tension that you wanted so badly to disappear. Whether it was because you missed him more than you wanted to admit out loud, or because it was evident that he wanted to make his way toward you but didn’t know if he was allowed to; you found yourself taking the initiative in getting up from his bed and wasted no time cupping both of his cheeks with your hands and kissing him as if your life depended on it.
You wanted him to know just how sorry you were for everything he had to go through in the last month because of how stubborn you’ve been. As soon as he felt your lips smash against his own, he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and pulled you as close to his body that was physically possible. His kisses were rough as his hands roamed your body. God, how did you go so long without the beautiful boy in front of you? Everything in your life felt right again. Being in Mark’s arms while his tongue mapped his trace along your neck was an otherworldly sensation. You were thousands of miles away from California, but you’ve never felt more at home than you did right now. Mark was your home—your favorite place to escape; a breath of fresh air. You were right where you needed to be.
“Mmm—Mark—I’m so sorry baby. Jackson told me everything. I should have listened to you—I should’ve allowed you to explain yourself. If I knew the actual reason why you weren’t communicating with me as often, I wouldn’t have been so hard on you. I would’ve been more understanding—“
“Nope—I won’t be having any of that. No apologies baby. Yes, I was exhausted beyond belief, but I should have tried harder for us—for you. I was working hard in order to finally be with you again, but I completely pushed back the purpose of why I was doing all of this; why I was practically going days with only five hours of sleep in total. Why I was typing out essays while on my breaks at work. Why I was taking down espresso shots like they were vodka shots—both of which are completely nasty by the way. You are my purpose baby. Everything I do is with your happiness in mind. I know how much my absence has been affecting you because waking up every morning without you next to me was like a fucking chore. It was just as bad for me as it was for you. God, if there’s anything I hate more than college-level calculus, it’s having to live without you—the reason for my existence. Give me your hand.” You did as you were told; placing your hand in his all the while blushing when he brought it up to his chest.
“Feel that? It’s racing—I haven’t felt my heartbeat this fast since the night you told me you wanted to take a break. That had to be the worst night of my entire life baby. I couldn’t stop beating myself up about your disheartened facial expression when you told me I needed to get my act together. I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I cried every single fucking day because I couldn’t stop thinking this was the end between us. I never ever want to go one day without you. I know—I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you and I hope you know you didn’t deserve it at all y/n. There were days I wanted to quit my job because I hated it so much and because I’m so exhausted, but then I’d take a look at my phone screen with the picture I took of you that one morning when we had a food fight in the kitchen and you got peanut butter in your hair and all over your face and I just—it made me remember what I was doing it all for. It felt like forever that we got to do something fun like that—it’s been forever since I truly felt any ounce of happiness. I feel like I’m living, but not at all existing whenever I’m away from you. I know you told me not to regret my decision in choosing to go away for college, but I do. I regret choosing to ever be where you aren’t. Fuck, you don’t understand just how hard it was for me having to go back home that night thinking that you no longer wanted anything to do with me; and even if you said he was just a friend—that guy, whatever his stupid name is—“
“His name is Jaebeom—
“Yeah yeah—whatever. That obviously doesn’t matter. It’s my last name that you’re taking one day so I don’t care what his name or anybody else’s name is. I know you would never cheat on me or do anything to jeopardize our relationship, but seeing the two of you together really struck a nerve with me. I don’t know what he is to you, but I’m sure he must be someone meaningful to you for you to go to prom with him. I couldn’t stop thinking about how lucky he is to be around you all the time, how he gets to hear that vibrant and contagious laughter of yours, how he gets to see your radiant and breathtaking smile and how that should have been me being all cute and matching with you. How I should have been there, flaunting you off to everyone. God, you looked so beautiful that night y/n—but you looked so fucking sad when you looked at me. When I came back to New York, I didn’t want to do anything. At all. I called in sick from work, I took a break from baseball and I even missed a couple of classes but I couldn’t give less of a shit. I felt so empty—physically and mentally I felt numb. I wanted to call you; trust me when I say I found my fingers hovering over your contact many times. I continuously checked up on your social media to see how you were doing—if you were okay, if you were eating all your meals and getting some rest. If—if you were suffering without me the way I was with you. I’m nothing without you. Absolutely nothing.”
He brought his thumb up to your cheek and gently brushed away a tear you didn’t even notice fall from your eyelids. You were well aware that Mark loved you more than you could even accept that you deserved. There were a couple of times you question his love for you; not hearing from him made you feel as though you weren’t as important to him and just that thought alone made you feel as if his love for you faltered. Hearing him confess to you what this past month has been like for him just confirmed that you meant a lot more to him than you felt you did. This break only made you realize that you could no longer be without him—you no longer wanted to put him through any more stress or sadness.
“Damnit Mark—how do you—fuck—you have such a way with words. You’ve always have. I love you so, so much. More than I ever get around to telling you. I’m so sorry—don’t give me that look babe let me apologize. I should have tried harder to see how you were doing. I know being a student athlete is already so frustrating and I just felt like you didn’t need something else to worry about. I know you’re probably going to disagree and get mad at me for feeling this way, but I just felt like such a burden to you. You already have so many responsibilities, your relationship should be the least of your worries. As much as I love surprises, please Mark—I want you to be honest with me next time. We need to work on our communication. Don’t get me wrong, I am honestly so grateful that you got a job in order to make money to come and visit me and I apologize if you feel like it was a waste—if my reaction that night wasn’t the one you were expecting, but I just didn’t know how to react. I was genuinely happy to see you—or at least deep down I knew I was. My facial expression was the complete opposite—but it’s because I felt as though you were just so far away. You were right in front of me, yet I couldn’t recognize you. My mind couldn’t process that you were real—that you were actually there and not a figment of my silly imagination. Deciding to take a break took weeks to come to that decision. I couldn’t stop thinking that I was no longer a priority to you, so I just stopped trying entirely.”
You found yourself wrapping your arms around his waist and released a soft sigh before smashing your cheek up against his chest. This was the first time in a long time that you actually felt genuinely content. Mark’s arms always made you feel so safe; so secure and so at ease. He didn’t hesitate to place his chin on the top of your head while tightening his already unyielding hold around your hips.
“I missed you more than I can explain in words. I meant what I said Mark—I’ve loved you since I was eight years old. I’ve loved you before I even knew what love was and I’m going to love you, for as long as time permits me to. Forever, hopefully. You’re my best friend Mark. I don’t care what happens to me or where I end up in the future. As long as you’re right by my side, I’ll be living a life that I’ve always wanted—that people can only dream of experiencing. We’re going to be just fine my love.” He brought his hand down to your jaw and lifted up your chin so that you were making direct eye contact with him. “You got that right baby. How long do I have you for?”
“A little over a week.” He gave you a knowing look; his eyes were filled with mischief. You were well aware most of your time in New York was going to be spent showing him just how much you loved him and the idea sent warmth to both your chest and in between your thighs.
“Stay right here, I’m going to have to text Jackson about finding a place to stay—“
“He’s already on it. He wants to give us our time to enjoy one another, just the two of us. In his words, he doesn’t want to miss out on his sleep because apparently you and I are going to be “too loud”. I have no idea what he’s talking about though. I have no intention on being noisy while I’m here—“
Mark was quick to lift you up and hoisted you on top of his left thigh; his movements were quick. Soon you were being thrown on top of his bed as he began leaving sloppy and all but gentle kisses all around your bare skin. He lowered himself on top of you, pressing his pelvis right on top of yours in attempts to let you know what he had planned for the both of you in just a few moments.
“I went four months without making love to my beautiful baby. You know how many times I’ve found myself jacking off to photos of you? I miss when we used to have cyber sex—fuck why did we ever stop? I can still picturing you fingering yourself, pretending it was me. You looked so fucking sexy and although it wasn’t the same as when you suck me off or ride my cock like the professional cowgirl you are, I came in less than five minutes just hearing your breathless moans as you tried to get yourself off. Trust me when I say this, you won’t be getting any sightseeing completed at all while you’re here. I’m going to make sure your legs are practically jello once I show you just how much I’ve missed this perfect body of yours. I don’t know if Jackson told you, but we’re actually on probation for being loud because of BamBam and Yugyeom. I’m confident I’m going to get kicked out here with how loud I’m going to make you sing for me. I can’t wait to rail the shit out of you baby. This pussy is mine. You are mine. Now, sit back y/n and enjoy the ride.”
Mark wasn’t lying when he said he had every intention on making sure you were immobile. The two of you relished in your love for hours; once you both came down from your highs after one round, the hunger and desire for one another was too strong to quit. You don’t think you’d be able to look in his fridge without remembering how he had you pressed right up against the cool metal, ramming himself inside of you from behind. Four hours later, you both decided to take a break. You had almost two weeks together; you didn’t want to practically be bedridden before you actually got the chance to really spend time exploring New York City together.
“You never cease to amaze me you know that? Fuck, I could love on your body for the entire day if you’d let me. I guess not having me inside of you for so long made you even more tight. I think your boobies got bigger too—ow! Why do you always get so abusive every single time I appreciate these beautiful breasts of yours? If you’re going to be like this about your mounds, you should hear how obsessed I am with your vagina—“
“Say that word one more time and you won’t get anywhere near it for the rest of my stay.”
He gave you the most adorable pout before pulling you on top of him. Even if the two of you had just finished having passionate and steamy sex, you could feel your cheeks warm up being pressed up against his bare and sweaty body. He left a wet kiss on the juncture of your neck and looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes.
“I don’t know babe, i could’ve sworn you were begging me to bury my cock deeper inside of you and to eat you out like I mean it less than an hour ago. You’re just as much a nymphomaniac as I am. I honestly can just stay in bed with you for the rest of the evening and just do nothing if that’s alright with you. We could get cleaned up and order some take out. Or if you have even just a tiny bit of energy, we can go out for an hour or so and just enjoy each other’s company.”
As much as you wanted to go exploring, it was just going to have to wait till tomorrow. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; trying to absorb as much of his warmth as possible before humming softly against his jaw.
“Let’s stay in. I just want to enjoy this intimate moment with you as much as I can.” He smiled at you lovingly while he brought his fingers in to your hair.
“I was hoping you’d say that. I want to take advantage of every moment you are naked—as much as I missed you, I don’t miss the hitting. Did you get stronger since the last time I saw you? You’re like bionic now.”
You playfully rolled your eyes at his sarcasm and propped yourself on your elbows so that you could get a better look at him. Every time you would look at Mark, it amazed you just how much he changed physically since you first met him yet his childlike personality never faltered. If anything, he became more and more like a child as he got older.
“Mark.”
“Hm?”
“I’m going to marry you one day.”
Knowing that he was the type to joke around a lot, you were expecting a “matter of a fact” kind of response. However, you weren’t expecting for him to pull you down and reconnect your lips together. Right as you could feel the fire building up in your bones with his feather like yet protective touch, he leaned away and looked up with you with a glint in his eye.
“Hey—I’m the one supposed to be telling you that!”
You yelped when he all but gently squeezed your butt. The thought of marrying the beautiful boy underneath you has been on your mind since the day he told you he had his mom take out the raisins from her oatmeal cookies because you weren’t a fan of them. Sometimes, your relationship felt too good to be true. Even if you hit a bump in the road, it only made you realize that no matter what were to happen between the two of you, your love for Mark and his love for you would never falter. He was everything in a significant other most girls could only dream about having in theirs. Mark Tuan was an ethereal being; his name was forever engraved on to your heart.
“I don’t know when exactly—maybe when we’re just a little bit older, but I can’t wait to marry you y/n. You’ve had my heart for over a decade now—it’s yours for the next ten decades.”
“That’s a hundred years Mark. I don’t think either of us are going to live that long—“
“You always seem ruin such romantic moments. I’m telling you that I plan on loving you for the rest of my life. I said what I said my silly girl. You’re stuck with me forever.”
You beamed up at his words and the two of you continued to lie there in silence; just basking in each other’s presence. To your dismay, Mark flipped your bodies so now he was on top of you but before you could say anything about this new position, you quickly picked up on his now furrowed brows and the way he looked as if he was deep in thought.
“Hey, everything okay?”
He gave you a sad smile and nodded hesitantly but you could tell something was obviously bothering him. Just a few moments ago, he was nipping at your jaw while grazing all too close to your core—and now he looked as if he was on the verge of breaking down. What exactly just so happened to pop in to his mind that was causing him so much distress.
“Mark—we said we would work on our communication. I know something is bothering you. Talk to me baby.”
“It’s nothing really—well—God, I feel so stupid for having to ask you this. That Jaebeom kid, he uh—I wouldn’t be surprised if he did I mean look at you—but, he didn’t happen to have a crush on you did he?”
Talking about Jaebeom was bound to happen sooner or later. Images of his angry expression when he saw the younger boy walk outside in attempts to look for you came rushing back like the night of prom was just yesterday. There was no doubt your boyfriend was a jealous person. You never understood where his jealousy came from; you never gave him a reason to be jealous nor did you think that you attracted anyone other than him until Jaebeom confessed his feelings for you.
He would get extremely territorial whenever you would hang out with him and his friends. BamBam and Jackson were notorious for being a little too touchy for Mark’s liking when it came to you. Sometimes they would reach for your hand or interlock your arms together in order to get under his skin, but Mark never let them get away with it. You could still remember the way your heart soared when he told you that he was only jealous of other guys because he had a fear that one day, someone might walk in to your life and make you realize that there are more people in this world other than Mark that could get you feeling the way he thought only he was capable of. Your boyfriend was well aware that he was the one that you loved more than anyone else in your life—but it was only natural for his curiosity to get the best of him.
“He did—he confessed to me right after he asked me to prom. I was quick to tell him I was in a relationship and he was very understanding about it.”
Mark took in a deep breath and waited a couple of seconds before asking you the question that he’s been dying to know the answer to for the last month.
“You uh—did you ever have feelings for him at one point? I won’t be mad; I mean, I’ve been absent. I’m sure spending time with someone and getting their attention could cause some feelings to develop. This question has been on my mind since that night. It’s not that I’m questioning your feelings for me—I know in my heart that you love me but I couldn’t find it in myself to stop thinking negatively.”
A part of you wanted to lie in order to spare his feelings. He may have said he wouldn’t be mad if you were to tell him that yes—you had feelings for Jaebeom at one point or at least felt like you did; but this was Mark you were talking about. He would be devastated to hear that your heart wavered even just for a split second and you didn’t want to do that to him. The idea of hurting him sent a painful sensation to your chest. Mark was nothing less than perfect to you in all your years of knowing him for.
These last few months might not have been ideal and honestly you could do without them, but at the same time—the turmoil was a blessing in disguise. Maybe the two of you needed this distance; this break in order to come to the acceptance that neither of you were going anywhere. However, the realist in you was well aware that there was no point in lying.
For all you knew, Mark probably felt it in either his heart or his mind that you could have at least felt something towards Jaebeom. It wasn’t impossible; it was common for people in relationships to harbor feelings for someone else. Especially someone they’re close to and spend most of their time with. He hated the thought that you began liking Jaebeom more and more every day considering that your communication levels weren’t all that good. What person in their right mind would genuinely be okay with knowing that their significant other had someone else on their mind—someone that they saw almost every single day? Mark wasn’t too sure just how close the two of you were and he wasn’t too sure if he wanted to know.
“At one point, yes. I did. But let me start off by saying this; just because I felt like I had some kind of feelings for him at one point doesn’t mean I loved you any less. Like you said, it could have been because he was giving me the attention I wasn’t receiving from you. He was taking care of me; he held me on the days that I cried because of school and our failing relationship. He’d buy me pastries if he saw that I wasn’t eating and he’d buy me coffee now and then—but I don’t have any romantic feelings for him. I guess I just really missed you; I missed you like fucking crazy Mark and for the time being, Jaebeom was helping me take my mind off of your absence. I will admit, I felt terrible when I told him I didn’t reciprocate his feelings only because he’s such an amazing friend, but no matter how kind he is, how much he cares for me or how attractive he is—“
“He wasn’t all that good looking honestly he was a solid three on a scale from one to ten you’re just saying that to make me jealous—“ You brought your hand up to his mouth in order to silence him but he licked a stripe along your skin.
“Will you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to tell you that there’s nobody else for me but you asshole. I’m too blinded by the love I have for you to even look or think about anybody else. Jaebeom is an amazing friend, but that is all he’s ever going to be to me. You consumed every single part of me; like the ocean. I feel like I’m drowning in your love, but I never want to be saved. I just want to keep losing myself in you and the love you have for me. I’m honestly so glad Jackson is a very considerate friend—I got horny just thinking about how much I love you.”
His laughter immediately filled up the room; a sound you were going to take advantage of for the next week and a half. It wasn’t the same hearing it through a screen—it was much more vibrant and full of excitement and it made your tummy swarm with butterflies.
“You’re insatiable, what am I going to do with you?”
“Anything you want to.”
When the two of you were finally done making up for lost time up against almost every surface in his dorm, you finally gave in and tapped out. You could feel your eyes closing and sleep was right around the corner ready to take over you completely.
“Should I start ordering us some food?” You slowly shook your head and made yourself comfortable pressed up against his chest. He began leaving soft kisses in your hair while dragging his fingers along the expanse of your back.
“I’m so tired. I think the jet lag is catching up to me.”
“No, I think it’s the six hours of nonstop sex we just accomplished. But that’s fine—maybe I’ll wake up earlier and prepare you some breakfast in bed. Or, I can have you for breakfast in bed—almost ten years of this abuse you would think I would know when to prepare myself. Mmm—I love you y/n, I’m so fucking happy you’re here. Thank you for coming back to me.”
In the two weeks that you were in New York for, Mark took you to almost every single place you’ve been wanting to go to. You didn’t think you were capable of walking so many miles; especially since you were sore practically every single day. Mark wasn’t lying when he said he planned on having you each day you were there for. On the days he had work or practice, you’d stay back at his apartment and just watch a couple of movies or play some video games on his Xbox. Sometimes you would go around with Jackson; sightseeing and shopping for some gifts to bring back home.
When Mark finished his duties or on the days he was off, he would take you exploring throughout the city, showing you everything New York had to offer. He made sure to keep you energized by purchasing you coffee right before the two of you were to return back to his apartment. He didn’t know when the next time he was going to see you would be, so he wanted to make every moment with you count—even if that meant having to stay up till the wee hours of the morning to have him blow your back out.
Unfortunately, just like the last time you were in New York, your visit was quick to end just as immediate as it was to arrive. 24 hours seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes any time it was spent with Mark yet they seemed to drag on whenever the two of you were apart. The tears wouldn’t stop falling from your face when he brought you to the airport. He held you close to his body and placed his head against yours as he tried his best to keep your cries soft—not wanting to bother the cab driver.
He was also secretly tearing up himself; he had one of the best weeks of his life with you and now he had to let you go again. If he had the choice, he’d be heading back to California with you permanently. It was selfish of him, but he even contemplated on hiding your luggage or even stealing your plane ticket so that you’d have no choice but to stay with him. Once the driver pulled up to the airport, he helped you take your luggage from out of the trunk while you and Mark said your goodbyes to each other.
“Hey—baby, we’re going to be just fine. I mean it this time. I’m gonna do better for you. I don’t care how tired I am—hell, you’re probably going to get tired of my constant phone calls and text messages but I promise you that I’m going to do my best to make sure to put in just as much effort in to this relationship as you do. I know how it feels to lose you and fuck, I never want to feel something so painful like that ever again. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go without having you with me—so expect me to come make a trip to visit you here soon. I love you y/n—God, I can’t even describe to you just how much I love you. Love isn’t even a good enough word to describe what I feel for you—what you mean to me. Fuck, I’m going to miss you so much. Let me know as soon you land and when you get home please? Take good care of yourself and I expect at least three nudes a day—fine two—y/n I’m trying to lighten the mood you know I hate seeing you so sad—I also hate not getting to show my love and appreciation for your perfect body—just wait till I get my hands on you next time I won’t go easy on you. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you.”
Leaving Mark was always the hardest thing you had to do other than getting used to looking through a computer and phone screen to see him when you just had him around physically to hold to and to kiss you. He kept his promise in working on and bettering his communication with you. Everything slowly started falling in place for you and you were more than happy with how your relationship was going. Mark made a few trips to California during his downtime.
Although most of his time was spent going on cute little dates with you and just spending quality time together, he did meet up with some of his friends from high school to catch up and made sure to visit his parents a couple of times. He even asked to meet Jaebeom properly; he wanted to apologize for being such an ass towards him on the night of your junior prom and he wanted to thank him for taking care of you while he was away. Mark still was trying to accept the idea of your friendship with Jaebeom, but he trusted you with every fiber of his being.
You were surprised that it didn’t take either of them too long to find some common ground; their main purpose both being your well-being and your happiness was something they had in common. Mark actually found it quite interesting that Jaebeom was a dancer and they went back and forth about their passion for crime investigation documentaries. It wasn’t something that happened overnight; Jaebeom was still upset with Mark for being the reason behind your tears, but he was well aware that it wasn’t his business to get involved in.
At the end of the day, you were just grateful that Mark accepted your friendship with Jaebeom for what it was because you knew you would of fell apart in these last few months if it weren’t for him. Everyone in your life—your boyfriend, your parents, your teachers and some of your friends who have graduated never failed to remind you that senior year would practically flash before your eyes. It had to be the best year of your educational career so far; there were so many different activities for seniors to participate in which Jaebeom coerced you in to doing a lot of things you would have never saw yourself signing up for. Flag football, tug-of-war, paintball, spirit week, homecoming; you were never one to find yourself in a situation where you’d get involved in school activities, but it was your last year in high school and you wanted to make the most of it.
At one point, you didn’t care about anything other than wanting to hurry up and graduate already. You didn’t want to be the kind of person to make a decision for your life based on your significant other, but you wanted to be with Mark. He was definitely speechless when you told him you applied to the university of New York—only because he didn’t want you to feel like you had to do that for him, even if deep down he was secretly hoping you would. The university was amazing nonetheless, but your boyfriend knew there were many other colleges that had better programs for the field you were interested in joining. However, he was extremely thrilled and very outspoken about how excited he was when you opened the letter of acceptance in to the university.
Right after you received the letter, you and Mark began planning on how he would let Jackson down gently about having to move out. As much as you couldn’t wait to finally get to have him around, you didn’t want to kick Jackson out of their dorm. It was just as much his place as it was Mark’s. That’s when you came up with the idea to move in to an apartment together. It was still a few months away, but Mark couldn’t keep in his excitement at the thought of waking up to your beautiful face every morning and getting to go to bed every night with you wrapped in his embrace.
He began the search of apartments in the area of the university so that it would be easier for the both of you to walk rather than to waste money on transportation. The months came and went; studying for tests on top of working almost every day in order to save up for after graduation took up most of your time. Mark was very good about calling you right before he’d head out for school or once he arrived back after work or practice. It was hard to believe that you ever questioned his love for you seeing as how he could not stop reminding you that he couldn’t wait to spend forever with you.
The last month of your senior year arrived before you could even comprehend that you were only a month away from becoming a high school graduate—and so did your boyfriend. Although you told him time and time again that you would prefer he didn’t surprise you, your soul practically left your body when you returned home from work one day to find him sitting on your bed like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“Mark, babe what the fuck are you doing here?”
You wasted no time in throwing yourself at him and bringing your lips to his. Tonight in particular was one of the most stressful days at work you had so far and all you really wanted to do was change out of your clothes and go to sleep. Seeing Mark only broke you out of your exhaustion and the huge grin that rose on your face didn’t seem as if it was going to falter at all any time soon.
“Did you really think I would let you go to prom with someone else other than me again? Did I not tell you how badly I wanted to rip that dress off of you and how extremely lethal you looked in it? I want to be the one to experience your magical night with you—and trust me, it’ll be even more magical once we head back to the hotel room right after—it’s like you live to torture me and not in the ways I’d prefer you would.” He began rubbing the side of his shoulder where you gently shoved him before playfully pinching your cheek.
“Anyways, I already bought a tux, you just have to tell me what color tie to get. Oh—and I’m here till the end of summer baby, so I’ll be here to watch you graduate and I’ll be here to help you get all your things ready for New York. I still can’t completely process that I get to go back to school with you alongside of me. I’m so fucking happy, you don’t understand—and we get to live together. You know what that means.” He began to wiggle his brows and you couldn’t help but laugh at his nonchalant hint towards the activities he had in mind once you started living together.
“Hey, I’m coming to New York for college, not to focus specifically on our sex life—“
“I know that babe, but making love to you is my favorite past time and now we’re going to have more chances in doing so—“
“You know Mark, I think there’s still some time left for me to accept UCLA—“
“You wouldn’t dare. You miss me just as much as I miss you—I meant it more than sexually. I just really can’t wait to have you around more often. There are days that are so shitty for me sometimes and all I want to do is have you hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. We’re going to get a sneak peak at what the rest of our lives together is going to be like and I can’t wait to share that experience together with you. Now, if you’d be ever so kind, I travelled all the way here to be with you. The least you can do is show me some hospitality and maybe suck me dry? Don’t look at me like that babe IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS.”
You continued to keep the facade that you weren’t in the mood to do anything just to mess with him—although you were tired, Mark just had that effect on you. If you were ready for bed right as you were coming home, you were now ready to do whatever it was he asked of you. Since your parents were right downstairs, the both of you had to do your best to get reacquainted with one another as quietly as possible. For a little over two hours, you and your boyfriend experimented in different positions; his lips and tongue mapped its territory all along your breasts, neck, thighs, waist and right above your soaking entrance. It was honestly quite the task trying to keep your moans at bay; especially because your love making sessions only became more vocal the longer the two of you were away from each other.
“I’ve missed you.” He pulled you on top of him once you both came down from your highs and left a wet kiss right below your ear.
“I’ve missed you more. I still can’t believe you’re here and I get to have you for until I leave.”
The rest of your evening was spent updating each other on what’s been going on in both of your lives until he fell asleep. For the rest of that week, he followed you around like a lost puppy on the days that you weren’t at work or school. You were sure most people would get tired of the clinginess and the fact that he always wanted to be with you, but it was something you genuinely enjoyed. Not once did you ever not want Mark around you—in fact you were just as tenacious when it came to him.
Mark was more than happy to be home this time around; all his friends were also home for the summer and it felt like to good old times for him. Before you could even think about how many days you had left until graduation, senior prom came in the blink of an eye. Mark looked as handsome as ever; his hair was slicked back in a way you weren’t used to, but you knew you were going to nag him in to styling it like this all the time. He also looked very classy in his tux and you couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that his dad probably had to help him out with his tie. Your boyfriend was twenty-years-old yet he still had no clue how to fold a tie all that well.
“Baby, I can’t get over how fucking beautiful you are. God, I can’t stop staring at you. You’re giving all of your classmates here a run for their money.”
The night went by quicker than you would have liked; but that was because it was so much fun. Mark, like he always seemed to be was nothing short of a perfect gentleman. He made sure your night was going well by taking care of you like it was his life duty. Whenever you wanted to go talk with some of your friends at their tables, or if you had to use the bathroom, he held your things—when it got cold in the ballroom, he placed his suit jacket on your shoulders. He brought you out to the dance floor even against your many pleas because he wanted to make sure you had the time of your life. As he spun you around ever so lightly and placed his chin on your forehead, you knew that night was one of the best nights of your entire life.
“You know the next time I’ll get to have you like this—looking effortlessly stunning and dancing with you like we’re the only two people here, you’ll be Mrs.Mark Tuan.”
You couldn’t feel warmth fill up your entire body; his words sent fire to your bones and the thought of getting to marry him never failed to make you blush like a school girl who was approached by her crush. You looked up at him and stole a sweet kiss from the corner of his mouth before hiding your face in the crook of his neck.
“I’ll be waiting patiently for that day, but just know—I can’t wait.”
As soon as prom was finished, your boyfriend carried you bridal style up to the hotel room he rented for the both of you with the idea of showing you exactly what torture you caused him looking as “sexy” and “otherworldly” as you did that night.
Graduation came less than two weeks later and as much as you couldn’t wait to finally move on to the next chapter of your life, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t going to miss being in high school. Just like most boyfriends would in order to embarrass their girlfriends; Mark had an entire banner made for you and assigned all of his friends to hold it up for you during the ceremony and afterwards while waiting for you to walk out on the field.
You tried your best to stifle back a laugh at how crooked it was; Yugyeom practically towered over his older friends and it only made this event all the more memorable. Right as your principal called your name, gave you your honors chords and your certificate, you could hear your name being shouted from the back of the auditorium and you were sure you would melt on the spot seeing your boyfriend look at you as if you were the most ethereal goddess to exist. Unlike all of your other classmates who stayed a little while to talk to each other about their plans after high school, you made a beeline to where you knew your boyfriend, family and friends were waiting to congratulate you.
“There’s my beautiful college graduate. You’re glowing baby. I’m so happy for you.” He pulled you in to a tight hug but before he could even kiss you, you were being yanked in every other direction by your family.
“My youngest baby is a high school graduate and now she’s going off to college. You know y/n, there are many amazing colleges here in California. You can save your money and continue living with your father and I—“ You felt Mark wrap his hand around your waist as he took his place right next to you. He got along really well with your parents. Sometimes you felt as if they preferred him over you only because he knew the exact words to say to flatter your mom and to impress your dad. They were very good in treating him like family. However, you could tell by the tight grip that he wasn’t too fond of what your mom was trying to talk you in to doing.
“Don’t worry Mrs.y/l/n, your daughter is in good hands. She always has been and always will be. I’ll take good care of her, I promise.”
After saying your goodbyes to all of your relatives who flew down just to be there for your graduation, you made your way back towards Mark and his friends. BamBam and Yugyeom picked you up and spun you around while Jackson and Jinyoung pulled you against their chests and ruffled with your hair.
“Finally! You get to come up and experience what college is actually like—that’s if lover boy here ever let’s you come out with us.”
“In your dreams losers. You got me in trouble twice for shit I didn’t even do. I’m not letting you corrupt my sweet, innocent girlfriend—“
“Y/n? Innocent? Hahaha! Don’t make us laugh. Y/n is the furthest thing from innocent. My ears are still so sore from all her screams and moans that one night I came back to our dorm to pick up some clothes while she was there. By the way, as much as I like you y/n, I’m not all that happy you’re stealing my roommate. I hope Mark knows that I should get ultimate dibs on being his best man because of it. Speaking of which, did you finally get around to asking her—ah, asking her about the color to paint your room. I think we should get going now guys, let’s allow these two lovebirds to celebrate on their own. Congratulations again y/n!”
You’ve known Mark’s friends for quite some time now; Jackson knew something that he wasn’t supposed to tell you. The five of them were never good with keeping secrets nor were they ever good at telling lies. You didn’t have to look at Mark to know he wasn’t all too happy with Jackson; nor did you want to aggravate him even more by asking him the many questions that were on your mind. The main question being what exactly did he have yet to get around asking you?
You knew it wasn’t just a question about your soon to be apartment together and you now you were dying to know exactly what Jackson was referring to. Oh well, it was just going to have to wait till you could find a time that Mark wasn’t around for you to ask. Summer was always your favorite season; there was so much for you to do. You decided to take a break from work in order to spend as much time with your family before having to move to New York.
Most days, you and Mark would go around California; heading to all your favorite places together and even finding new places to make memories at. You also made sure to save some time to spend with Jaebeom seeing as how you were both going your separate ways. As much as he loved America, he missed his friends and family back in Korea. These last two years were meant specifically for him to learn English and to pick up on American culture. You knew you were going to do your best with keeping in touch with him.
Out of all your friends, Jaebeom was one you saw being in your life for a very long time. Your relationship with your parents also grew stronger; mainly because it was just the three of you now and soon it was just going to be the two of them. To your dismay, when you got to hang out with Mark’s friends again and even when you got Jackson alone, he pretended as if he had no clue what you were talking about when you asked him what he meant back at your graduation.
The truth was going to come out sooner or later, so you were just going to have to wait—no matter how much the curiosity was eating away at you. May, June and July never seemed to fly as quickly as they did but before you knew it, you were packing away everything you needed for college. Deep down, you were sad knowing that you were moving out of the house. You’ve been around your parents for your entire life, you weren’t sure if you were ready to live without them. Hell, your mom still made your appointments for you and even when you were to move thousands of miles away, you were sure she’d still be taking care of your responsibilities for you.
“Make sure to call me as soon as you land. And please, call me at least five times a day. Remember, you can can always come back home—“
“Mom—“
“If you ever need me I can fly up there and—“
“Mom—“
“Even if you need to take a break, I am totally fine with you taking a year off—“
“Mom, I’ll be fine. I’m in good hands, remember?”
You turned to look at your boyfriend putting your luggage in the back of his truck and returned his smile when he caught you looking at him. Tears started to build up at your eyelids as you looked at your mom trying her best to fight back her tears.
“I’ll always be your little girl, don’t ever forget that. College will go by faster than we think and Mark and I plan on returning back to California once I graduate. It’s not goodbye mom, it’s just a see you later. Please take care of yourself. I love you so much.”
Saying goodbye to your parents was harder than you thought it would be. In fact, your boyfriend had to pull to the side in order to console you and comfort you as you cried. He left gentle kisses on your forehead while he ran his hands through your hair. It didn’t take long for you to calm down, especially because Mark was really good in giving you time to let it all out before reminding you that everything was going to be okay. You were reminded of how hard it must have been for him having to leave two years ago, but now you were finally going to be together permanently.
Mark’s touch was so comforting; you could tell he wanted to be there for you yet he also wanted to give you some space. He did everything for the both of you; brought both his and your luggage’s to security and got them checked in, found your gate and had you sit down so he could go purchase some snacks for the ride. You didn’t realize just how tired you were until you knocked out only minutes after getting settled on the plane. This meant that you weren’t able to see the way Mark was looking at you so adoringly; but it’s not something you weren’t used to. He looked at you that way all the time. You felt a gentle push on your shoulder and a few wet kisses scatter along your face and you had a feeling Mark was trying to wake you up.
“Baby, time to get up. We’re here.”
A huge part of you was still pretty sad that you were no longer in California, but the hand that was tightly holding yours as you were being guided through the airport reminded you as to why you were doing this. Looking at Mark right now; you never felt more at home than you did at this moment. It didn’t matter where you were, your heart was always so full having him with you. The first couple of weeks were the hardest. Getting settled in to your new apartment was a foreign feeling. Mark actually had everything set up for the both of you before he even left for California.
You were very grateful that he was so patient and understanding with you; but it didn’t take long for you to get used to New York City and living with your boyfriend. It was actually everything you could ever hope it would be. He allowed you to make the decisions on how you wanted the place to look like.
The apartment was shockingly very spacious; and he actually had purchased quite a lot of furniture. You were shocked to see just how nice the place actually was—you didn’t think Mark was capable of being an interior designer, but you decided to keep the place looking the way it did. Your bedroom had to be your favorite place in the unit, he had a couple of photos of the two of you scattered throughout the room and separated both your sides of the closet and on the bathroom sink.
He put so much effort in to making sure you were content and it only made your feelings for the older boy grow stronger if it was even possible. College wasn’t at all what you were expecting it to be and you were silently cursing all of Mark’s friends for telling you that it was such a fun experience. Mark introduced you to a couple of his teammates and a few friends he’s made in the last two years while giving you a tour of the campus and showing you where your classes were. You ended up getting a job at your school’s library in order to help Mark pay for the rent and other necessities.
Even if it was just your first year in college, there were days you would find yourself crying because of how strenuous the work load was on top of having to work. There were also days where Mark was constantly at work, practice or school and you didn’t want to put even more stress on him knowing how exhausted he would be whenever he’d come home.
One night, he texted you saying he would be coming home late in order to pick up this week’a groceries. You didn’t think much of it; although, normally the two of you would go together so that you both could get the things you either needed or simply just wanted. Your boyfriend also had a bad habit of buying a bunch of unnecessary items he never needed, so you tried your best to make sure you’d be there with him. But this week, you’ve been picking up a lot of late night shifts and Mark could tell the last thing you wanted to do was go grocery shopping, no matter how much you enjoyed doing something so domestic with him.
When you reached your apartment, you saw his shoes in the cubby hole and his backpack by the counter—so you knew he was home. Everything seemed put away; you checked the fridge and all the shelves were filled with different kinds of food and drinks. He also got the essentials; dishwashing liquid, laundry soap, dryer sheets, shampoo and conditioner. Something didn’t feel right though; normally, he would be out in the living room playing video games or doing his work at the dining table.
Maybe he was tired; you still couldn’t understand how he could manage five classes a week, playing sports for hours on end and going straight to work right after only to come home like he had all the energy in the world. Right as you were about to look around for him, you saw a crumpled paper in the corner of your eye which you assumed to be the receipt.
Curiosity got the best of you—he always paid for the groceries no matter how many times you’d tell him to split the bill. In fact, he would pay for pretty much anything and told you to save your money to buy things you wanted to. It was hard accepting the fact that he did all of this for you—sacrificed so much for you because he loved you with his entire being only because you didn’t feel like you deserved any of it. If anything, he was the one who deserved so much more than what you could give him. When you scanned the receipt, everything seemed perfectly normal—he purchased every item the two of you would normally buy.
However, towards the bottom of the list you saw something that made you confused, yet you let out a little giggle.
“Mark!” You began walking towards your bedroom in the hopes of getting an explanation as to why he felt the need to buy his favorite cookies in bulk.
“Babe, I know you love nutter butter, but eight packages? Are you preparing for an apocalypse or something—oh my God.”
Your question was answered as soon as you opened the door. There, in all of his devastatingly handsome glory, your boyfriend of ten years, down on one knee with a red box in his hand and a tray of nutter butter on the bed spelling out the words “will you marry me?” There were roses scattered all over the ground and candles spread throughout the room. Your heart was racing faster that it ever has in your entire life.
“Mark—“
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
The smile on his face was barely reaching his eyes and you could tell it was because he was nervous. He was shaking and he looked like he was on the verge of throwing up; you couldn’t understand why though. Sure, marriage proposals were always so nerve wrecking, but he should already know the answer. You slowly walked toward him and gently kneeled to his level while cupping his cheeks in your hands.
“I know this isn’t as romantic as you probably would have wanted it to be. Trust me, I planned out many different scenarios about how this was going to pan out. The guys told me to take you to a beach, or a fancy restaurant but I thought this would be more meaningful. I mean, I realized you were someone special to me when I shared my nutter butter with you over thirteen years ago. You know you are the only person I would do such a thing for—you’re the only person I’d do anything for. I’d give you my kidney if you needed it. I know—we’re still so young to be getting married, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what the word love meant. I’d tell my parents I loved them; I told each and every one of my siblings that I loved them—but with you, it was a different kind of love. It was the kind of love that—I don’t know, my heart always felt so happy and so full every minute I spent with you. You showed me what love is—you made me feel loved and cared for in ways that I don’t think I could ever be able to thank you for doing. You are the most beautiful, funny, charismatic, intelligent, wonderful and honestly perfect human being to walk this earth. God—I can’t even—I’m so fucking in love with you. We’ve had a few ups and downs, but it only made me realize that you are the only person I want to go through hell and back with. You and I are soulmates baby, there’s no doubt about it. I’ve been blessed to have you in my life for almost fifteen years now and I can’t wait to spend an eternity with you. Y/n, will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”
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Rock Bottom
Pairing: Mona X MC (Alexis Jennings)
Masterlist
Word count: 1.8 K (I really tried🤧)
Warnings: None, there is swearing, also there is a crossover 👀
Author's note: I'm taking part in @rodappreciationweek and this is my entry for day 3 (mona)
The hosts of RoDaw @client-327 @brightpinkpeppercorn and @choicesarehard are donating $5 usd to the Lebanese red cross, up to $500 for every piece of Mona content today! Please consider making/posting something for Mona today if you haven't already❤️
I'm also taking part in @wackydrabbles so you will find the prompt in bold
Forgive me if I make any mistakes
"Prisoners move back to your respective cells." The loudspeaker blared, cutting sharply through the air, giving Mona a cold splash of reality.
Until that godforsaken announcement, Mona had been sitting on the steps, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the cool breeze threading through her hair. The sun rays poured over her and she enjoyed the warmth emanating from them. She could smell the ocean and with her eyes closed, she could almost imagine standing on the shores of Santa Monica, the sound of the waves washing over her.
But there is only so much imagination one can use to forget that she was in jail.
To her darn luck, she had been transferred to Trask Island, a maximum security prison off the coast of Florida. It was one of those dreary prison where you were completely cut off from the world.
No call, no letters, no communication.
Whatever fucked up environment they created here, that was her world and Mona hated every second of it.
It was also called the 'rock' because one, it was on a island and two, it would drown all your hopes and wishes of a future, just like how a rock sinks in water.
No one has ever escaped Trask Island and no one ever will. The words of the warden echoed through her head making her scoff.
It's cute that he thinks I will be sticking around in this shit hole.
Mona was super determined to get the fuck out of here even though there were moments when she was completely and utterly lost.
She hated the orange tracksuits she had to wear. She hated the way these spiteful men dictated her life and tried to break her spirit. She hated being stuck in a tiny cell.
She longed to feel the adrenaline rush in her veins when she raced.
She longed to feel her hands gripping her steering wheel, as she drove at speeds defying gravity.
But most of all she longed for Alexis... The girl she left behind.
Mona found it ironic. After her ex ratted her to the police she swore that she would never let anyone have that power over her. That she would never wear her heart on her sleeve again. She built this impenetrable fortress around herself so that no one could enter and know the real her.
But Alexis managed to do that by just smiling at her.
The way their hands fit perfectly into each other's... The way that all her worries would go away when Alex was in her arms... The way that they both pushed each other, looked out for each other and challenged each other...
Mona had never witnessed such a feeling of companionship and she couldn't help but fall for her.
I love you Mona... Those words haunted her but at the same time motivated her to keep going through the motions of the day.
Her fantasies were abruptly interrupted by the guard kicking her combat boots. "Up and going, or do you want a month in solitary?"
And the thing she hated the most about this prison are the guards. I mean it was normal to hate them but this was some next level shit. She absolutely abhorred them to such a extent that she wanted to strangle them with her bare hands.
The number of times she was thrown into solitary was not even funny. And all of them were for the dumbest of the dumbest reasons.
Hell she was thrown in the hole for a fight she wasn't even part of.
All men are the same... Power hungry and drunk on greed. That's why girls are better.
So not wanting to risk living in the darkness for a month, she bit her tongue and got up before joining the other cellmates.
"What a dick." Eris Huang, an expert demolition muttered under her breath, so low that only Mona could hear it, causing her to snort.
In the six months she was here, she was low-key glad that she met Eris. They two met when Mona was moved into Eris' cell. Both were strong willed, hard headed and sarcastic woman so it wasn't really surprising that they became fast friends.
"Tell me about it. One of these days he is gonna piss me off so bad that I will end up castrating him with a blunt knife."
"Oof. I will hold him down and break his legs." Eris offered causing Mona to smirk. I like this girl.
"Anyways, I have a shift at the library so meet you later." Eris spoke.
"Get me another notebook if possible."
"What are you writing? A love letter?" Eris teased which made Mona roll her eyes but she wasn't very far off from the truth.
"A lady never tells." Mona answered causing Eris to chuckle as she took a left to go to the basement.
Mona reached her cell and she felt the the cell gate close behind her with a loud clang, which resonated in her ribcage.
Sure, hanging out in the yard and working in the workshop was a welcome distraction but staying in her small cell for more than 17 hours would make a girl lonely.
So, in all these hours of loneliness, sadness and hopelessness Mona found some sort of solace in writing about her dreams, list of things she was going to do once she was out, her aspirations... But most importantly, how much she missed Alex and how she wished to be by her side.
So settling into the corner of her bunk, she opened the notebook with tattered pages so that she could write.
Dear Alex, I know I told you to not let me imprison you but that's not applicable to me because you are always on my mind. It's hard to forget you. I miss you so much....
Do you know what day it is today? It's the fifth... Or I assume so because there is no calendar here. We aren't told what date, month, year it is. It's just days which sinks into the lonely nights and the cycle continues.
It's been six months since I last saw you... And I guess it just hit me hard.
It's just cruel how little time we had together.
I still remember that night. How happy we were in that cute little prom of yours. I still remember how heartbroken you were when I betrayed you.
But you didn't let it break you.
I still remember the way you took down those bastards. I still remember how fucking proud I felt on that moment. I still remember how I took a bullet for you and the shock that coloured your face.
And I know the thoughts which ran at your head in that moment. "Someone actually cares enough for me to take a bullet for me."
I'm here to tell you that yes, I took a bullet for you and I would do it a thousand times over just to prove that I love you and I care about you. I'm here to tell you that you are worth it and you deserve all the love in the world.
I wish I could hold you in my arms and tell you all of this but... Life loves fucking with me and you got caught as collateral.
It's just... Hard some days. Sure I have made friends with some other criminals and tried to make this fuckery my new normal but I'm only human. I'm few moments away from sinking to rock bottom, as shocking as that may sound.
You always perceived me as an aloof, careless and a strong badass but that changed when I met you.
Sure I was always strong but you make me stronger. You and me... We both are like two knives sharpening each other. Pushing each other to reach new heights of awesomeness.
But, I also want to worry for you. I want to appreciate you. I want to wake up next to you and I want to love you.
I often wish how we would have met if I had not gone down the wrong path. Would we have met at some pub? Or in some Ivy League college? Or some frat party?
People often say that you shouldn't waste time thinking about the things that could have been but when you are in a prison with nothing but time, that's all you seem to do.
So yeah, you are the only thing preventing me from going insane.
I think that's enough emotional bullshit for today and I'm low-key relieved that you aren't reading these letters, of me talking like a sap.
But one thing is for sure- I love you.
Yours, Mona.
She heard the electric buzzer and the door of her cell opened. Eris walked in with an impassive face with a guard standing at the entrance. He shut the cell gate and walked away.
Mona's eyes narrowed as she sat up straight. Wait a minute-
She waited for the guard to be far away before she spoke up. "You have a plan."
Eris turned the light off of the cell and plopped on to the bed opposite Mona's.
"Smartie. Always knew I did a good job of recruiting you."
"But how? Do you remember the last time you failed and ended up in the hole for a month and a half?!"
"Yes I do remember but this is foolproof. We have outside help."
"... I'm listening."
"Do you speak thief?" She asked which made Mona scoff in disbelief.
"Obviously. I have stolen cars and kidnapped people. Obviously I'm no amateur."
Eris proceeded to explain how her friends Rye and some other chick had come up with a plan. She listened with complete attention and only stopped her to ask valid questions.
"So... Are you in?"
Mona tried weighing the pros and cons. It's sounded a tad bit unrealistic and far fetched. There were a couple of loose ends which made her hesitate.
Eris noticed that and grasped her hand. "See Mona, no escape plan is perfect. This is a rough draft and we will work out the kinks. But remember, the three crucial things an escape plan needs is- Luck, faith and determination. We don't know about what lady luck has in store but, we sure can have faith and determination."
"I know that you hate it here and I know the punishment of escaping is harsh but what's wrong in trying? We are already suffering as it is, what's a little more? And I see that fire in your eyes, M."
"The fire to break free and the fire to go back to your girl."
Mona looked up and the momentary joy of getting to see Alexis soon. Adrenaline courses through her veins, causing her heart to beat faster.
Eris leaned forward, her voice intense. "So tell me- Would you like to blow this joint or rot in here for the next five years wishing you could have atleast tried?"
Mona's eyes met hers and a smirk formed in her face. Reaching forward she shook Eris's hands, sealing the deal. "What the hell. This is without doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."
Don't worry Alexis, I'm coming home.
Hope you liked it 😊
Mona x MC Taglist : @kamilahsayeet2063 @kaitlynliaofanxx @vampiregirlsblog @made-me-deep-blue
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the one where jj plays intramural football
a/n: this one is dedicated to the homie @sunnypogue. no warnings just cursing, word count is 1.2k because I got ~carried away~
as spring rolled around, jj finally decided it was time to join beta’s intramural football team. he had been recruited for the past three years but always came up with some lame excuse as to why he couldn’t play. in reality, he knew football well enough, and the athleticism was there, but didn’t want to be compared to some of the guys that were good enough to have played in college but didn’t want the commitment. they took it at little too seriously and the frat was known for winning the league yearly. but he needed a stress reliever and something to get his mind off upcoming job applications, so he signed up.
charlie was ecstatic, of course. as the first born and being older than her brother by a good ten years, her dad took it upon himself to teach her everything he knew about football. she knew the game like the back of her hand and it showed with the way she complained about south carolina’s current team.
at the first game of the season, she opted to sit about four feet away from the beta’s team bench, instead of further down the sideline with the other girlfriends that showed up for support. she tried keeping to herself for the majority of the game, but couldn’t help calling out a few directions to the players.
after her third outcry of “cover your man, dumbass!” and her fifth time shouting at the ref for his shoddy job (the poor sophomore was just trying to work his part-time job), one of jj’s frat brothers and the team captain, thomas, had enough. in the huddle, thomas jerked his thumb over to where charlie was seated and rolled his eyes at jj. “handle your girl, maybank,” he told him, exasperated. jj immediately stepped forward, pointing his finger in thomas’ face. “watch your fucking mouth. she wouldn’t have to keep yelling if you could actually follow the right plays.” thomas shoved him away, shaking his head as a couple brothers stepped in to break it up. “whatever, I’m just sick of a girl backseat coaching.”
jj was fuming inside but let it slide as the ref blew the whistle to break up the huddle. they barely won the game and as the boys split up post-game, jj walked over to charlie with a grin. “we’re pretty good, huh?”
charlie spun her keys on her finger, walking to the car. “if you’re going to play receiver you need better hands. you dropped two solid passes and almost fumbled on that 40-yard run. work on your ball handling.”
jj laughed, not taking her seriously. “yeah, yeah, whatever. you seemed to like my hands just fine last night.” he slid into the passenger seat and charlie did the same, turning to look him dead in the eye.
“I’m serious. I’m not dating a shitty football player.” she told him, ignoring his innuendo.
jj laughed again. “it’s intramurals, walker.”
charlie nodded. “exactly, maybank. and you were more attractive when you caught the pass.”
he didn’t take her too seriously, but her words were like a glowing reminder in his head every game for the rest of the season. he improved with practice - and her instruction - and she continued to coach from the sideline. while all of her advice was unwarranted, it was mainly appreciated and jj’s frat brothers began to take her more seriously as they saw she knew her shit.
the final game of the season, the championship versus sigma chi, was an event in of itself in greek life. it was played in williams-brice stadium and since it was spring, it was just another excuse for greek life to tailgate once again. jj had been talking her ear off all week about it, worried he was going to screw up and make a fool of himself in front of everyone. students filled up the first few sections in the stands, rowdy as ever. charlie took her place in the stands right behind the bench, ready to call out plays as needed.
the first half was pretty evenly matched, sigma chi also having their share of former high school football players on the team. (they even had a guy that had played for kentucky for two years, then transferred and joined the frat - charlie had tried to get him kicked off the team but he was still eligible somehow.) charlie was one of few students that was actually sober in the crowd, watching every play intently. after yelling out a few choice words toward the student refs, she had already received a couple warnings and stayed silent - save for cheering enthusiastically whenever beta made a solid play.
at halftime, the boys seemed to be arguing back and forth, trying to draw up a few successful plays.
finally, jj’s teammate thomas turned to the stands. “walker! get your ass down here,” he yelled out, pushing jj away as he tried to shove him for talking to his girlfriend in that manner.
charlie paused, surprised. “really?”
thomas looked annoyed that he had to clarify. “yes, we need a fucking coach.”
charlie grinned and didn’t hesitate to hop the stands, coming onto the field. “so now that you’re desperate, you finally want to take my advice?” thomas rolled his eyes as the whistle blew, signaling the start of the second half. “whatever. just do your thing, I’m not gonna let us lose the streak.”
charlie took her job seriously, coaching the boys through the rest of the game. (she ignored jj trying to flirt with her while he sat on the bench - “don’t talk to me,” she scolded, ignoring another lame pickup line.)
in a desperate attempt at the end of the game, she drew up a trick play, calling the team into a huddle. it involved the quarterback scooping the ball in the backfield to the running back, who would then throw it to the quarterback in the end zone. there were mere seconds on the clock. it was crazy. possibly stupid.
but it worked.
jj hollered as they scored, signaling the end of the game. he sprinted to charlie from the field and promptly lifted her up, spinning her in a wide circle. charlie had an ear-splitting grin as jj squeezed her tightly. they finished celebrating on the field, someone yelling that they were moving the party to the beta house.
jj walked to the car with his arm slung around charlie’s shoulders proudly. “do I get my girlfriend back now?” he asked teasingly, tugging at her hair. she laughed, swatting his hand. “what do you mean?” jj laughed. “you’re kidding, right?” charlie shook her head, confused. “no, what do you mean?”
“charlie, I love you, but I am so glad you’re never going to be a coach again. if you’re like this for intramural games I don’t even want to think about what you’ll be like at our kids’ games.” she stopped in her tracks, grinning. “you've thought about that before? our kids?” the tips of his ears turned red and he hesitated, not realizing what he had said. “well. I mean. yeah, haven’t you?” charlie nodded, smiling. “yeah, I have. let’s just hope they don’t inherit your skills.” she giggled as he grabbed her around the waist, whispering in her ear. “let’s hope they don’t inherit your sass.”
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I Am Not Spiderman
*Pairing: Spiderman Mark lee
*Genre: Fluff
*Plot idea: (This master piece was inspired by my friend @sharklee127‘s imagine about Spiderman Mark and I wanted to make it into a longer fic!) Mark lived a painfully boring life. Nothing special ever happened to him, he even resorted to joining Yearbook club so he could at least observe more interesting lives. But all of that changed when the new girl shows up and Mark gets lost during his tour of Osborn Laboratories.
*Word count: 3,600
*Warnings: Cussing, cute baby Mark
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You first met Mark in the crowded hallways of your high school. You had just moved from your small town home in Upstate New York all the way to Queens because your father had received a once in a lifetime position at Osborn Laboratories. You were hesitant about moving and leaving all of your friends and your old school behind but like the supportive daughter you were you transferred to Midtown High “school in Forest Hill, Queens with a smile on your face. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that you were also given an internship at Osborn Laboratories and that would look excellent on your college applications, whatever it was you soon found yourself in one of the largest schools you have ever seen. Thousands of students must have to attend here which made you slightly nervous, how were you going to make friends when there are so many people to get to know at once? Internship… remember the internship. So you walked into the building with your head held high and your earbuds pushed snugly in your ears as you used your music to drown out the unfamiliar sound of hundreds of kids screaming at each other.
You got a few looks from the people who realized they’ve never seen you before but the majority looked right through you, and one boy even tried to walk right through you. “Oh my god, I am so sorry!” The stranger rushed out as you fell to the floor. His books in hand followed in suit, the hardcovers making an obnoxiously loud sound. “It’s okay.” You muttered, letting out a soft sigh before leaning forward to help the clumsy boy pick up the textbooks. “Are you okay?” He asked, extending a hand for you to take, which you did; you had to make friends somehow. You just nod at his question, handing him the books with a small smile. “Oh, Thanks… Are you new here? I’ve never seen you before.” You look up at the lanky boy, his hair was so fluffy you had to restrain yourself from reaching out and seeing if it’s as soft as it looks. He wore thick black-framed glasses that had their fair share of tape holding them together, so he was always this clumsy. “How could you tell? There’s like a million kids here.” You exaggerate, your smile growing. He was kind of cute.
“Try a little over three-thousand. And when you walk the same halls for three years you start to pick up on faces, even the people you’ve never talked to. Plus it does help that I work with the yearbook.” He was shy when he spoke, his voice quiet and he avoided any form of eye contact, he had the habit of scratching behind his neck every few seconds but yet you were still intrigued. “A little over three-thousand is a lot compared to the school I used to go to.” you joke with a small smile. “I’m Y/N, I know its a bit sudden but you’re the first person I’ve talked to here, do you think you can show me around? I have my schedule but it makes absolutely zero sense.” You were hopeful, maybe you didn’t have to be the new girl who got lost on her first day. “I’m Mark! And despite the fact that I talk too much sometimes and I fall a lot, I’m a pretty damn good tour guide.” You let out a small laugh and hand him your schedule. “Then lead the way Mark.”
“Looks like you and I have Chemistry together first period!” The boy said with an excited smile, “And we’re in the same lunch block! You can sit with me if you’d like, I’m sure Ned won’t mind.” Mark rambled and you just listened, nodding your head along. You found the nerdy boy quite amusing, and really, really cute. “Sure! Sitting with you sounds a lot more appealing than sitting by myself.” You reply, giving the dark-haired boy a smile, which he returned. “And we have arrived! This is the Chemistry lab.” He opened the door to the lab and led you into the room, “We do experiments Tuesday Thursday, and lectures Monday Wednesday, and a free workday on Friday.” Mark brings you to one of the many lab tables and takes a seat, you follow, sitting on the stool next to his. “Oh, cool! I like chemistry.. And just science in general.” You confide, excited to see what experiments you would be doing in this class. “Really!? Me too!” There it is… another one of his perfect smiles. You admire it while it lasts but his attention is diverted from you to the teacher walking in.
~
Lunchtime has finally rolled around. You didn’t know exactly where the cafeteria was, but your plan was to just follow everyone else after the bell rang. But it turned out you didn’t have to do that because as soon as you walk out the door of your AP Calculus class you are met with Mark leaning against the lockers. “Figured you didn’t know where the lunchroom is.” He said simply. Just the small action sent the long-dormant butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. “How’d you guess?” You teased, falling into step with the taller boy as you two walked down the crowded halls together once more. “Just a gut feeling.” he teased back, and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“So how are your other classes? Probably not as interesting without me right?” You playfully roll your eyes as you sit down at the lunch table in the far back, the previous mentioned Ned was not there yet so it was just you and Mark. “Oh of course, without Mark Lee my life is just dim hues of grey.” You say dramatically. Mark chuckled and rolled his eyes back. “Maybe you should drop the whole science thing and become a theater major… Drama queen.” You scoff but before you could give your snarky reply someone joined the two. “Oh Hey! Ned this is Y/N, Y/N this is Ned, my best friend.” You smile up at the new addition to the table, giving him a small wave. “Nice to meet you!” you say sweetly before reaching into your bag and pulling out your lunchbox. It was only your first day and you made two new friends… Success.
~
“Dad I think you’re more nervous than me.” Today was your first day for your internship at Osborn Laboratories and your dad was driving you to the large building. “What? No! I’m just excited! You and I are working together, it’s like every day is bring your daughter to work day.” You smile at his enthusiasm, humming along to the soft music coming from the radio.
You two approached the company and you couldn’t lie, you were just excited as your father, this was the opportunity of a lifetime. The selection process for this internship is tough, hundreds of teens apply but only five make it in, and you just happened to be one of those five and so did… “Mark??” Even from behind you could tell that it was your new friend. After a week of following him around the school, you’ve become accustomed to the messy bedhead and bad posture. The boy turned around in surprise, following the sound of his name. “Y/N?! What are you doing here?” He asked, an automatic smile appearing once he saw you. He jogged over to where you were walking and took his normal spot next to you. “I’m here for the internship! Today is the first day.” You explain, ignoring your father’s questioning eyes for now. “No way! Me too!” you look up at him with shock, what were the odds. Even if you didn’t meet at school you two were destined to cross paths at some point. You only smile widely, bumping into the other’s shoulder playfully, “Guess we’ll be spending even more time together.” You say with a raised eyebrow and Mark only smiled. “Guess so.” He replied.
You two joined the other three interns once you walked through the large glass doors, the intro tour was starting soon but Mark had left after a few seconds to go to the bathroom before the important information was given. You pitied your friend, the directions he got to the bathroom were even more confusing than the school hallways you were still learning. When the tour started and Mark wasn’t back yet you started to grow nervous, the guide’s voice going in one ear out the other as you look around for the lanky boy. Did he really get lost? You were too scared to pull out your phone, knowing it would look disrespectful, so you just try to forget about Mark for now and focus on the guide, you can just give the boy a recap once you see him again. Which wasn’t until the end of the tour. The skinny boy came rushing towards you from some random doorway and you let out a breath of relief. “Mark Lee where the Hell have you been?” You whispered angrily as he got close enough to be in earshot. “To be honest, I don’t really know, I got lost like majorly lost, I don’t wanna talk about it.” You tilted your head curiously, wondering why your friend was gripping the back of his neck, he stopped doing that as often as you two got closer so it was weird to see. You just shrugged and turned away. “Can you catch me up on everything?” He asked, leaning over so his head rested on your shoulder from behind you. “What are friends for?”
~
Its officially been one month since you transferred to this new school and met Mark, and you can safely say there hasn’t been one boring day. After your first day as interns Mark started acting a bit weird. He no longer wore his glasses but he excused that with his new love of contacts. He was stronger and his body was not as lanky as before and overall just gave off a new aura. He didn’t feel like your normal nerdy Mark. You weren’t complaining, of course, That boy needed some confidence you were just curious about its sudden appearance.
“Have you guys heard of that Spiderman dude?” You ask nonchalantly at the lunch table, you lift your head from your phone and look over at Mark, his eyes met yours and it was hard to hide the blush that appeared. Shy or confidant Mark, it didn’t matter, as time went on you fell head over heels for the fluffy-haired boy. He shakes his head quickly, “N-No! Spiderman? What stupid name is that?” He rushed out. “God you’re so weird Mark Lee, I was just asking. I saw a video of him on Twitter last night and he looks pretty cool, the suit could use some work though.” You shrug before taking a quick sip of your chocolate milk. “What’s wrong with the suit?!” Mark asked defensively, Ned glared at his friend and punched his arm from under the table, but you didn’t miss the way Mark flinched. He cleared his throat, letting out a nervous laugh, “Uh... I mean.. From what you’re saying, he’s a new hero right? He’s probably still working on the suit and other minor things.” Mark covered up poorly. You look over at the flustered boy before turning your head to Ned. “I guess..?” You replied simply.
The rest of the day was uneventful, Mark was still being his weird self but you were getting used to it. He had yearbook club today after school and you stayed with him since you guys carpooled together to Osborn. He knew you found yearbooking extremely boring though so he excused you and you left to wander the halls, it was rare to see them so empty and you took advantage of the quiet. You hummed softly to yourself as you scrolled through your phone, more and more videos of this Spiderman guy popping up on your feed. After a few minutes of silence, you were brought back to reality by the sounds of yelling and lockers rattling. Being the curious person you were you followed the noise.
“Mark?!” You were not expecting to see the boy you have a crush on, on top of the high school football star, both were throwing punches left and right. Mark had blood dripping from his lip while the other had a busted nose. You run-up to the nearest bystander, “What the Hell Happened?” You ask. You were too shocked to do anything, you thought you’d never live to see the day where Mark Lee got in a fight and was winning. “I don’t know! Levi was talking his normal shit talk and yearbook boy wasn’t having it, he just lunged at him.” Holy shit, the Mark you knew would never do anything like that. Just as you finally move to step forward and do your best to convince your friend to stop, the booming voice of the principal echoed throughout the halls. “What is going on?!” Just at the sound, everyone started running, including you. You ran towards Mark, grabbing his hand and pulling him up quickly. “Come on dumbass, if you get expelled you’ll lose the internship.” Levi apparently had the same idea as he also got up and bolted.
You and Mark ran hand in hand all the to his car and while you were completely out of breath, he was doing just fine, well except for the cut on his lip. As you two rushed into the car you couldn’t hold back anymore. “What the fuck were you thinking??” You almost yell, disappointment seeping through your voice. This bastard had the audacity to laugh. He was laughing! “Should I drive? You don’t seem mentally stable.” You only half-joke. “No no no I’m okay, I’m okay. Honestly, I’ve never been better! Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do that? Since Freshman year.” You just watch Mark as he speaks. His hair was messy, his lip was bleeding, he had a bruise forming on his cheek, yet this was the happiest you have ever seen him. “I’m used to him making fun of me.. But he said something about you and I don’t know what came over me… all I know is that it felt good, really good.” Mark explained as he drove the familiar path to the lab. “What did he say?” You ask curiously, he did it for you..? “Something about taking you away from me, that you were too good to hang out with Ned and I… in his words you are too ‘hot’ to be associated with us… I hated it, I hated the way he talked about you. He doesn’t know how smart you are, how clever, you’re a genius and all he sees is how pretty you are.” Mark was in one of his many rants but with each word, your face grew redder and redder. Mark soon realizes his mistake and he shuts up too, a blush of his own growing. “You are though… You’re really pretty.”
Once you two reach the lab you walk over to Mark’s side of the car and as soon as he got out you grabbed his hand. He didn’t argue and allowed you to lead him to the break room for the interns. “Sit down.” You said softly, pointing to one of the many chairs. For the first time, the air was awkward around you two and you hated it, no you despised it. You took what you needed from the first-aid kit before walking back over to your friend. You pulled another chair in front of Mark’s and when you sat down your knees were pressed against his. You both gulped nervously from the closeness but you just continued, leaning in slowly, using the edge of a cotton swab to clean the cut on the boy’s bottom lip. Your eyes were trained on the wound you didn’t even know Mark’s eyes were focused on the same thing. He couldn’t stop himself from training his gaze on your lips. He meant it earlier, he found you absolutely stunning, which was why he attacked Levi the way he did… because a part of Mark believed that the other boy was right. You were too good for him. “Y/N?” The boy whispered. “Hm?” you reply, not really paying attention to his words. “Can I kiss you?” That caught your attention. You looked up at Mark in surprise, your eyes wide. Did he just say what you thought he just said? “What?” You ask although you heard the question but your brain refused to process the words. “Can I kiss you? I’ve been wanting to kiss you since I met you but something happened to me recently that changed how I view the world and I just don’t want to live with regrets an-” Mark’s rant was cut off as you place your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close so your lips met in a soft kiss. The first thing you noticed was how warm he felt against you, you felt safe and comfortable, kissing Mark was like sitting by a campfire during a freezing night, it was an escape, and you were afraid that with this one taste you would grow addicted. Mark was quick to act, his hands pulling you closer so you were literally on the edge of your seat. He also couldn’t believe this was happening, he’s liked you since he met you and he never thought the day would come where he would be kissing you and it felt so much better than what he imagined. After a few more seconds the both of you pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other as you let out a soft laugh.
~
It’s been a few weeks since Mark and your’s first kiss, and you two have had plenty more since then. You couldn’t believe that you settled in so quickly to this new school. You had a group of friends and even a really cute boyfriend. But you couldn’t get the thought out of your head that Mark was hiding something from you. He would disappear randomly for hours at a time and give you pisspoor excuses as to why. Sure you were nervous and curious… but every time you asked about it he would just change the topic. You tried to ignore these thoughts though, just wanting to enjoy the date in Central Park with your boyfriend. “I think I figured out why you disappear all the time.” You muse with a teasing smile. “You’re Spiderman! Just think about it, I’ve never seen you and Spiderman in the same room, and every time you’re gone Spiderman is off saving the city.” You were teasing of course. Your hand was laced with his, the light from the buildings and the smog in the air hid most of the stars except for the brightest but the night breeze was very much appreciated. Autumn was coming to an end, the colorful leaves that once hung from the trees covered the ground. The street lights lit their path as the couple enjoyed the hot chocolate they bought a few minutes ago. Everything was perfect.
“Hahaha very funny. I’m not Spiderman.” Mark said, giving you a playful look. You didn’t notice the way he tensed up when you brought up the idea. “I don’t know, you and the spidey boy have similar bodies.” You continue to joke, meeting Mark’s eyes. “First of all don’t call him spidey boy, and second of all, I. Am. Not. Spiderman.” Mark replied, not liking this conversation one bit. “I think you’re Spiderman.” You say with a simple shrug, you, on the other hand, found this game very fun. Mark stopped you two from walking before moving in front of you. He bent down slightly and cupped your face with his free hand. “Y/N.” He said sternly. He leaned in and placed a quick peck on your lips. “I.” Another peck. “Am.” A longer kiss this time. “Not.” Another peck. “Spiderman. What do I have to do for you to believe me?” You smiled up at Mark, your cheeks pink from the affection. “Hmmm.” You pretended to think before grinning, “Kiss me again… and again… and again..” Mark just laughed and pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “Okay.. I will kiss you as much as you want.” He answered before leaning in once more, his lips immediately meeting yours. You gripped his jacket as he moves to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip. But before that could happen Mark ripped away from you and turned around, following the sound of an explosion.
You watched in shock as one of the tallest buildings in the city erupted into flames. “Oh my god.” You mumble the fire reflecting in your eyes as the screams filled the air. The shock didn’t end there, you saw Mark take his coat off in the corner of your eye, the rest of his clothes following to reveal the familiar red and blue suit. Before he pulled on the mask he looked over to you with a shy smile. “I will explain everything later.” was all he said before placing one last sweet kiss on your lips then raising one of his arms, webs shooting from his wrist to the nearest building. Mark swung out of sight, leaving you on one of the many sidewalks of Central Park, wide-eyed with your heart racing a mile a minute. All you could think of at the moment was one word, and it brought a smile to your face.
“Liar.”
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#spider-man: far from home#spiderman#mark lee#NCT#nct fluff#nct imagines#nct scenarios#superhero#superm#superm mark#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#kpop#nct u#nct 127#nct punch#nct kick it#nct taeyong#nct yuta#nct mark#spiderman mark
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Will sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time, rubbing his eyes as he stared at the screen in front of him.
His last class of the semester with Professor Bloom was tomorrow and he’d barely had any time to work on his final paper with juggling three jobs and putting in more applications for next semester scholarships.
What he wouldn’t give for a break.
“Fuck it.”
He minimized his screen and opened a new one, logging into his Twitter.
thisismydesign
The life of a college student is not nearly as fun as movies make it out to be. What I wouldn’t give for a sugar daddy to make things easier. lol.
He laughed to himself, scrolling through and hitting a few likes while replying to others. His friend Bev was having some girl trouble so he sent her a direct message before going back to his paper.
About five minutes later he heard a noise indicating he had a message back.
When he opened Twitter again it wasn’t a message from Bev.
thefinerthings: Give me your moneynow link and I’ll see what I can do.
He stared at the message, confused, and clicked into the profile.
Thefinerthings had a little over a thousand followers, and posted pictures of mainly expensive things: food, clothes, and at one point just a very ugly coffee maker.
Will scrolled through, confused, and then came back to the message.
thisismydesign: Is this a joke?
thefinerthings: I assure you it’s not. You’re having trouble and I would like to help.
Will looked at thefinerthings’s page again and saw that they weren’t even following him. Did this weirdo just have ‘sugar daddy’ on alert looking for college kids to bother?
He scoffed and went back into the message again.
thisismydesign: wgdglvr.moneynow.com
Even if this old man sent him some cash it would be something he could laugh with Bev about tomorrow. He logged out and went back to his paper, staying up till almost four finishing before he crashed.
Will was exhausted but he dragged himself out of bed, grabbed his phone, and headed out the door without even checking a thing. He pulled into the nearest place for coffee, ordered, and opened his phone as he drove up to the window to pay.
The notification on the screen made his eyes widen.
H. Lecter sent you $5000.00
He froze.
“What the fuck?”
The sudden beep of someone behind him pulled Will out of his surprise, and he opened his app to pay while his mind reeled.
Who the hell just sends a stranger that kind of money?
He grabbed his coffee, hands shaking, and drove toward campus while he tried to wrap his head around this. Was it some sort of scam? Was he supposed to just take this money and act like it was normal?
Ms. Bloom’s class was a blur, as was most of the afternoon, and when Will finally sat down for lunch outside he pulled out his phone to check his moneynow balance.
$5000.00
There it was.
He stared at the number for what felt like eons before clicking transfer.
Then he opened his direct messages.
thefinerthings: I hope that helps you. Let me know if you need anything else.
Will looked and saw that his new benefactor was now following him on Twitter. He let out a long breath and followed him back.
Then he looked up H. Lecter.
The only name that came up was one.
Dr. Hannibal Lecter.
He was a psychiatrist, a bit of a famous one, and he had nothing bad against him online. No one had added him to some sort of ‘weird sugar daddies to follow’ list, or even a ‘bad psychiatrists to avoid’ one. Will found a picture taken just last year at an opera and to his surprise Dr. Lecter was not an old man.
Not at all.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?”
Will closed his phone, blushing, and smiled at Bev. “Nothing.”
“Nothing? You had stars in your eyes and your face was all red. Still is. What’s going on, Will?”
He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I think...I might’ve gotten a sugar daddy last night.”
Bev blinked at him.
“You what?”
“I just...I said something on twitter and he messaged me and I gave him my moneynow and he sent me money and....”
Bev burst out laughing.
“Oh my god, tell me everything.”
Will glared at her. “It’s not funny.”
“It’s definitely funny,” Bev grinned, grabbing his phone, “You found some old man to....” she trailed off.
“Bev?”
“Is this him?”
“I...I think so.”
She thrust the phone back at Will. “Message him now, Graham. Do not, do NOT, ignore this sexy sugar daddy. How much did he send you?”
Will looked down at his phone. “Um....”
“Will.”
“Five thousand.”
Bev was quiet.
He raised his head and saw her staring at him with wide eyes. “Some stranger, a sexy stranger, sent you five thousand dollars and you didn’t even tell me?”
She hit him on the arm.
“I didn’t have any time, I....”
Another message sound interrupted them both and Will looked at his phone.
thefinerthings: I hope you have a good week, Will. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask.
“How did he know my name?”
“Who cares?” she snapped, taking his phone, “I’m messaging him back.”
“Bev, wait!”
He snatched the phone back just as she grinned.
“Too late.”
He looked down at the message.
thisismydesign: Thank you, Daddy. I definitely will. ❤️
Will glared at her. “I hate you so much.”
Bev blew a kiss at him. “You just watch, Graham. He’s gonna be so happy, just wait and see.”
They both stared at the message for the next few minutes with no response. Will’s cheeks were burning when he closed the app, embarrassed beyond belief, and when Bev grabbed for him he pulled away.
“Will....”
“I’m sure it’s hilarious to you, Bev, but it wasn’t funny.”
“Will, I’m....”
He walked off without finishing lunch and didn’t look back once. The minute he got inside his car he threw his phone down, turned the key, and was just about to pull out when a ding noise made him pause.
A new message.
Will’s hands shook as he opened Twitter.
thefinerthings: Is that what you’d like, Will? For me to be your Daddy?
He stared at the message for what felt like forever before he replied.
thisismydesign: I don’t know you.
thefinerthings: You did not send that message, did you?
thisismydesign: No, my friend did. I’m sorry.
thefinerthings: But would you like to get to know me, Will? Or are you happy with our current arrangement?
Will remembered the picture he’d seen online.
thisismydesign: Why are you doing this, Dr. Lecter?
The reply didn’t come instantly this time, but it did come.
thefinerthings: Because I want to.
thisismydesign: How did you know my name?
thefinerthings: Your social media attached to this account. Will, I am asking you a question. Will you answer it?
Will stared at the screen, conflicted, and typed the first thing that came to him.
thisismydesign: Yes.
thefinerthings: Yes to which question?
thisismydesign: All of the above.
He threw his phone down, covered his face with his hands, and screamed into them.
What the hell was he getting himself into?
#hannigram au#self indulgent#college will#older hannibal#do not try this at home#my writing#not beta'd#written all at once
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It’s All About The Game: Part 4
Pairing: OC X Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)
Genre: High School AU, Enemies to Lovers, Sports Fiction
Warnings: Smut and Language
Word Count: 7K
Previous Parts: (Part One), (Part Two), (Part Three)
Summary: After spending the summer with Seo Changbin, Kayda feels strangely confident with their relationship. Yet, that doesn’t stop the school bullies and those jealous girls who are adamant that the two shouldn’t be together. Kayda never asked for this much attention, but when you’ve literally become Changbin’s entire world, you have to learn to deal with it.
August
On nights like this, Changbin liked to sneak into my room so that we could sit together on the balcony and watch the stars as they flooded the darkness. It wasn’t particularly romantic, especially since I knew that his parents might disrupt our star-gazing escapade at any moment. “You’re not sharing a room,” his mother had decreed when Changbin first mentioned the idea before we left for our summer trip in the mountains.
I, of course, respected their wishes, but Changbin liked to test the limits of his parents’ commitment to preventing any scandalous meetings between their son and his girlfriend. Accordingly, I often woke-up with Changbin laying in bed next to me, one arm lazily thrown across my stomach. On other occasions, Changbin brought in a plate of snacks and we watched Netflix until early morning when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
It was certainly unlike any of my previous vacations, including the large family trips we used to take with my cousins. However, the comparison wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and I was feeling rather despondent now that it was almost over. “Did you have fun, Reynolds?” Changbin asked, eyes closed as we enjoyed the warm, summer breeze. Tonight marked the final evening of our vacation getaway and I was actually quite disappointed by the idea of returning to the real world.
“I loved everything,” I said, and it was an honest assessment of the peaceful trip with his parents. Despite my fear that it would be awkward, Changbin went out of his way to make me feel comfortable and welcomed.
“I’m glad you came,” he said. “My parents are grateful too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they like the fact that I have a smart girlfriend.”
I snickered at the comment. “What kinds of girls did you date before? I know for a fact that Lisa wasn’t enthralled with Academics.”
“Nothing ever really happened with the other girls,” Changbin admitted. “They weren’t like you.”
“Sometimes, I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a compliment.”
“What else could it be?” Changbin asked, but I didn’t respond to his question.
“I’ll miss these nights.”
“Well, the city isn’t as glamorous,” Changbin chuckled. “It’s hard to see the stars.”
It was true and I absolutely despised pollution. “Are you tired?”
“I’ll stay up with you,” Changbin said. “I don’t think my parents really care at this point.”
He was probably right, especially considering his mother’s knowing look when we had prepared a tray of snacks in the kitchen earlier. “Do you want to go inside? We can just pretend to be asleep.”
“And tell each other secrets?”
I glared in his direction before choosing to ignore Changbin’s look of self-satisfaction. Instead, I abandoned the quiet sanctuary of the balcony in exchange for the cooler, air-conditioned bedroom that had been my temporary home for the summer. I threw back the sheets on the massive queen-sized bed at the center of the room, stretching my limbs like a cat when I finally relieved the pressure of standing for far too long after our afternoon hike along the trails.
It was Changbin who turned off the lights before slowly joining me on the bed. It didn’t take long for him to find me from across the space between our bodies, allowing very little distance as he released a tired sigh. For several long moments, we were both perfectly quiet, savoring the temporary silence with only the sounds of the crickets outside to serenade us with an orchestral chorus of music.
“Reynolds?” Changbin finally whispered into the darkness. “Are you still awake?”
I was quiet for a moment. “Yes.”
“You looked beautiful tonight,” he said.
“Are you really flirting with me?”
My answer came in the form of his hands smoothing across my hips. “I’m still not tired.”
I swallowed hard when his fingers dug into the waistband of my panties. “What are you doing?”
It was an unnecessary question because Changbin answered with a meaningful slide of his hand against the silky material, guiding the fabric with a teasing touch to my pulsing sex. I felt him move closer, legs curling themselves through mine, and he pressed soothing kisses to my exposed skin. “I hope this isn’t the last night I can have you like this,” Changbin whispered, quickening the pace of his movements.
I closed my eyes, inadvertently rolling my hips against his powerful touches. His lips were warm against the back of my neck, creating a dueling heat with the fingers rapidly working themselves across the front of my panties, pressing down hard against my wet heat. It was a seductive friction that I could feel all the way down to the very tips of my toes which curled in pleasure.
It wasn’t anything more than the masturbation techniques I discovered for myself after reading countless online blog articles. However, with Changbin in control, everything was suddenly different---heightened to an extreme that brought me closer to the edge in record time.
“Does it feel good?” he grunted, and I could feel his erection against my ass.
“It’s nice,” I replied, voice catching around a moan when he disregarded the barrier of my panties, rough and calloused fingers catching beneath the fabric.
He was increasing the speed of his efforts, trading long and languid strokes for rapid circles around my clitoris. “Are you close?” he asked, and I nodded quickly, chasing the high from a moment’s pleasure, shaking against his hold when I finally resurfaced. Meanwhile, Changbin’s fingers worked through the strands of my hair, whispering sweet-nothings into my ears. “Thank you for coming here with me, Reynolds.”
I fought to stay awake, but the lingering effects of my orgasm encouraged me to succumb to the awaiting darkness.
My Senior year of high school equated to the culmination of four years’ worth of efforts to find the very best University before graduation. It was slowly starting to drive me insane, especially when it involved the tiring process of online applications. Thankfully, I could always use school as a distraction during the day when I needed to focus on passing the remainder of my classes.
Occasionally, I also joined Jeongin and Seungmin at lunch since the two younger boys were insanely entertaining when it came to their endless debates. Currently, Jeongin was passionately defending the idea of pouring his milk before the cereal while Seungmin remained adamantly opposed. “It doesn’t make sense,” he complained.
“Why not?” Jeongin frowned. “Who wants to eat soggy cereal?”
“That’s the point,” Seungmin argued. “Kayda!”
I shrugged my shoulders, mindlessly flipping through one of my textbooks. “I need more convincing.”
The two boys launched themselves into another passionate defense. “The milk will spill everywhere if you pour it on top of the cereal!”
“But how much will you know to use!”
I grinned, wondering if Changbin had ever fallen victim to one of these pointless debates. In the meantime, I was surprised when I realized that someone else had joined our company. “Kayda,” Lisa smiled. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?”
“Of course not,” I said, ignoring the way Jeongin and Seungmin paused their argument only to glare in Lisa’s direction. I imagined it had something to do with the fact that Changbin’s ex-girlfriend had suddenly decided to play the part of a friendly classmate. I knew very little about Lisa, other than her past relationship with my boyfriend, but she never seemed that interesting to me.
“How are you?” Lisa asked casually.
I looked between Jeongin and Seungmin before offering a reply. “I’m feeling a little stressed from college applications.”
“They’re dreadful, aren’t they?” Lisa sighed, offering me a sympathetic smile. “I spent all weekend working on mine.”
“Really?” I asked. “Most people think it’s too early.”
“I guess we’re a lot alike then,” Lisa nodded. “I think we’d make good friends.”
“Is that so?” I questioned. “We’ve never really talked before.”
“Well, let’s fix that right now,” Lisa said. “What do you think?”
“I mean, I don’t really understand-”
“How are you and Changbin?” she interrupted, and I couldn’t tell if she was genuinely curious or just looking for good gossip.
“We’re fine,” I said, hoping she'd drop the subject if I dismissed her invasive questions.
“Well, it’s just that everyone’s surprised,” Lisa said. “That you two have managed to make it this long together.”
“It’s really none of your business,” Seungmin glowered with an uncharacteristic amount of hostility as if he knew something that I didn’t.
But Lisa seemed indifferent. “I have something to work on with my classmates. I’ll see you later, Kayda.”
I watched her go without another word.
September
When the weather started to grow cooler, I decided it was an opportune time to visit Jisung’s new campus for the start of his semester. I was incredibly excited to see him again after a summer apart, especially since we no longer had the advantage of attending the same school together. In any case, I knew it was also an opportunity to expose myself to the idea of a college campus because it was going to be an important part of my life in the near future.
“It’s so big,” I marveled, holding tightly to Jisung’s hand as we walked along the sidewalk.
“This is the main part of campus,” Jisung explained. “Most of my lecture classrooms are in the same building.”
“That makes sense,” I said. “Do you like it here?”
“I think it works for me,” Jisung said. “It’s everything I need right now, but I still plan to transfer before my Junior year.”
I nodded vacantly, too busy imagining myself in the places of the mature, responsible college students diligently carrying their textbooks between classes. “It must be exciting.”
“I think it’ll wear off,” Jisung chuckled. “My coursework is hard. Midterm exams will kick my ass.”
“Have you met anyone interesting?” I asked, slightly afraid that Jisung would describe his new best friend as my replacement.
“A few people in class, but they’re really only good for studying,” he chuckled.
“What about your roommate?”
“He spends way too much time with his girlfriend,” Jisung said. “Reminds me of someone I know.”
I rolled my eyes. “Changbin and I have been busy with school.”
“I believe you,” Jisung said. “But I’d imagine that Changbin isn’t happy.”
“He understands,” I said. “College is very important to me. I want the best when I graduate.”
“I’m not surprised,” Jisung sighed. “I was hoping to follow you after my Junior year. But how the hell can I transfer into Harvard?”
I smirked. “You know me too well.”
“Well, let’s sit down for a second,” Jisung said, directing me to one of the benches. “Be honest, Kayda. Have you and Changbin talked about college?”
I was unable to meet his inquisitive gaze. “Not really.”
“Don’t you think that’s important?” Jisung asked. “If you end up at different places, then you’ll have to work harder at a long distance relationship.”
“I don’t want to think about it,” I quietly protested. “We don’t have to worry about something like that right now.”
“Yeah? But I think you really need to consider the possibility,” Jisung said, resting one of his hands over mine in an exchange of silent comfort. But it did nothing to stop the sudden pounding of my heart against the center of my chest.
With early deadlines approaching, I was starting to spend my study hall in the library, hunched over the computer as I perfected my online applications. As such, it wasn’t always surprising when Changbin showed up with a snack or drink in hand to join me. His excuse was often something about how irresistible I looked in my element.
“Kayda,” Changbin said softly, leaning down for a kiss. “What are you doing?”
“College applications,” I said, returning his chaste kiss before glancing back at the online application form. “For the early deadline.”
“That’s right,” he said, clearing his throat as he sat down next to me. “Who are you thinking about?”
“The Ivy Leagues,” I said. “Harvard, Yale, Columbia...” I trailed off when I realized Changbin had grown unusually silent. “Is something wrong?”
“Of course not,” he said, feigning a smile that would look forced even to a random stranger on the streets.
“You don’t look happy.”
My accusation hung heavy between us. “It’s nothing to worry about,” he said quietly.
I pursed my lips, but decided to leave the subject. “What are you doing after school?”
“Hopefully, I’m taking my girlfriend home with me,” he said, smirking over his can of soda.
“It depends on how much work I have,” I sighed. “But I really want to.”
“Then just take a break this one time, Reynolds,” Changbin pouted. “I really miss you.”
“I’m right here!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Changbin said, lowering his gaze. “It feels like you never have time for me these days, and I’m worried that it’ll only get worse, especially when basketball starts again.”
I swallowed hard, hating the look of despair on his face. “You matter a lot to me. I’ll always make time for you.”
“Kayda,” Changbin grinned, ignoring my protests when he leaned in closer to press teasing kisses across any available skin he could access.
November
Despite the passing deadline for early applications, basketball try-outs managed to contribute to my rising stress levels. Instead of feeling relieved after completing my forms, I had to worry about the additional pressure of afternoon workouts and the unexpected announcement of my coach declaring me as the new team captain. An honor that I would usually accept with pride, but it was hard to dismiss the glares from my other teammates.
“Congratulations, Captain,” my coach smiled, completely oblivious to the mounting tension.
“Thanks,” I said, unable to share her sentiment when the rest of my teammates seemed less than enthused. Based on the rumors spreading throughout the entire school, there was a popular consensus that I was stealing Changbin away from the rest of my classmates and they clearly disapproved.
Thankfully, I could always rely on the man in question after arduous practice sessions when I needed a moment away from my daily routine. On most evenings, Changbin parked his car down the street at an acceptable distance from my house. It was an arrangement that we both decided was necessary after my father discovered the two of us in a rather uncompromising position on top of my bed. Thereafter, my father never allowed Changbin alone with me when he came over, so we agreed to meet in his car instead for some semblance of privacy.
In these moments, Changbin liked to hold me close, lips smooth and gentle. My hands found purchase on his broad shoulders, digging my nails into the fabric of his band t-shirts. His hips floundered against mine, desperately searching for the necessary friction to give his cock some attention. Of course, we never tried anything too outrageous given the limited space in his fancy sports car, but our heavy petting sessions often ended with swollen lips and heavy breaths while we talked about whatever random subject Changbin thought was appropriate.
“I heard they made you team captain,” he said, finally pulling away after another long and passionate kiss.
I tried to restore oxygen into my lungs, studying the solitude of the night. “I can add it to my applications.”
Changbin chuckled. “I’m not surprised.”
“What about you?” I asked.
“My coach decided to name two captains,” he grumbled. “I think he just feels bad for the other guy because he never played very much.”
“I think it’s nice,” I said. “You’ll have someone who can help you manage the burden of that responsibility.”
“Oh, Reynolds,” Changbin smirked. “You always have a way with words.”
“It’s part of my charming personality,” I scoffed, returning my attention to the warm juncture between his neck and shoulder. “I don’t think my teammates are happy that I’m captain.”
“Why?”
“I guess it’s because I’m not very sociable,” I lied, distracting him with a gentle kiss to the soft skin of his jugular.
“They’re lucky to have you as a leader,” Changbin said. “You always know what to do.”
“That’s not exactly true,” I argued. “But I know you’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Changbin’s arms tightened their hold around my waist. “Isn’t that my job?”
“I guess, but I’m not worried about what other people think.”
“I know,” Changbin sighed, “I already do that for you.”
“I’m telling you to worry less,” I instructed him firmly, rubbing my hand against the front of his chest.
“Well, I’ll just have to keep you closer, then,” Changbin said. “What are you doing on Christmas Eve this year?”
“Hot chocolate and a movie?”
“You can do those things at my house,” Changbin grinned. “My mother invited you to our family party.”
“Those are always thrilling.”
“Don’t hurt my feelings, Reynolds.”
I snickered at his tone. “I’ll make room for you in my schedule.”
December
Changbin’s parents were perfectly amiable, managing to include me in their conversations as I savored the warmth from the nearby fireplace. Surprisingly, I received more attention from his family and their friends in comparison to the previous year. Perhaps Changbin had been right when he told me that I had left a meaningful impression.
“I hope he’ll go to the same school as his father,” his mother said, glancing at her son with obvious pride.
“We’ve been touring so many schools lately,” his father agreed. “But I think he already knows.”
“What about you, Kayda?” his mother asked. “Where are you planning to apply?”
Changbin tensed from next to me and I swallowed hard. “I’m still considering a lot of options.”
“Well, that’s not surprising,” his mother smiled. “I don’t think Changbin has mentioned your choices. What are you considering?”
“Harvard,” I managed, suddenly uncomfortable with the conversation. “It was my first application.”
“You can’t possibly get any more impressive, Kayda,” she smiled. “But don’t let us keep you all night, please enjoy the party!”
“Thank you,” I bowed my head politely, trailing behind Changbin as he led me through the maze of his relatives.
“Let’s go upstairs, Reynolds,” he said in a tone that told me he just wanted to forget the previous discussion, and I was happy to oblige.
Changbin’s bedroom had undergone a dramatic transformation since my first visit during Sophomore year. Instead of a carpet of clothes, he managed to maintain a regular laundry schedule, and he tried to minimize the mess on his bed and comfortable gaming chairs. “Reynolds,” Changbin sighed. “I think we need to talk.”
I looked down at the collection of his video games, deciding that they were far more interesting. “What about?”
Changbin scoffed. “We’ve avoided it for long enough.”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged, sitting down next to him on the bed. “I have something else in mind.”
I leaned in closer, practically tasting the overpowering smell of his cologne. It was the perfect distraction because Changbin was suddenly pressing his lips against mine in a chaste kiss. “Are you trying to tell me something?”
“What were you thinking?”
“The stuff my mom brought up downstairs...”
“Let’s not worry about that right now,” I said, running my fingers along the sharp profile of his jawline before gently guiding him back against the bed.
Changbin’s eyes widened as if finally catching on to my implications. “You want to?”
I nodded eagerly, pressing gentle kisses across his chest. “Is that okay?”
“You don’t even need to ask me, Reynolds,” Changbin said, reversing our positions so that my back was against the mattress. “I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
“Kiss me,” I requested quietly, losing myself in the chaotic layers of his gorgeous eyes. Changbin was more than happy to oblige, tossing aside his t-shirt in the process so that I could feel his skin beneath my hands. It was always better this way, when I was touching him to feel the steady pounding of his heart against the front of his sternum.
“Can I, Reynolds?” he asked, reaching for the hem of the elegant dress I had chosen for tonight’s occasion.
I nodded furiously, skating my fingers against his as I helped him guide the hem to my waist, trembling when he made quick work of the simple barrier of my panties. “Changbin,” I sighed, finding an anchor in the soft curls of his hair, playing with the edges.
It was suddenly hot in his bedroom, despite the frigid, December cold outside. I was wrapped in his scent and taste, overwhelmed by the unexpected closeness of our skin brushing together while he attempted to explore every hidden surface exposed to his intimidating gaze. “Kayda,” he groaned, one hand pressing down against the stiffness in his dress pants.
“Please,” I whispered, watching through lidded eyes as he pulled back to quickly remove the belt from around his waist, fumbling his jeans down his legs before kicking them messily into the floor with barely concealed enthusiasm.
I studied him while he reached into his nightstand, admiring the strength in his arms and the delicate lines of his muscles. He looked positively debauched in the light, desperation evident in his features as he searched through the drawer next to his bed. In the end, he pulled out a silver package, holding it in one hand while he reclaimed my lips with a frantic kiss.
He rolled on the condom with a practiced skill I decided not to acknowledge because I already knew about his past relationships. Instead, I wrapped my legs around his hips to encourage him closer. “You have to tell me,” Changbin said, gripping his cock at the base. “I won’t know if it’s hurting you.”
I nodded in response because he was already pushing inside and it was impossible to form words when faced with such unexpected pain. Still, I tried not to react, even if it was obvious that my expression gave me away. “Reynolds,” Changbin growled.
“It’s not bad,” I quickly reassured him, and I wasn’t being completely dishonest because the pain was starting to slowly fade away, but it wasn’t exactly what I expected.
“I’ll move slow,” he said, allowing more of his erection to stretch my insides.
“Oh,” I remarked, gripping a handful of the sheets. It wasn’t exactly painful anymore, but it was strangely uncomfortable.
“Is it too much?” Changbin asked.
“I don’t know,” I told him truthfully. “It feels...full?”
“You’ve never done this before,” Changbin replied, seemingly unconcerned by my honest assessment. “I’ll be gentle.”
I trusted Changbin to keep his promise, feeling him start to generate a steady rocking sensation, moving back and forth with careful strokes. It was starting to feel better and I could feel myself relaxing around him, focusing on the way he felt between my legs. Actually, I started to understand why everyone at school always talked about this because it was nothing short of intimate, especially with Changbin’s eyes looking directly into mine.
My body trembled when his skilled fingers found my clit, providing another distraction when his hips started to increase their pace against mine. It was a slow ascent from there, unable to comprehend the unexpected pleasure from so many different sensations. Everything was finally converging together, and I could practically feel my heart leap into my throat when his cock was sliding back and forth with a relentless pressure.
I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head, losing every shred of rational sanity, but Changbin was there to bring me back to Earth with feather-like kisses across my collar bones. He was grunting from above me, hammering his hips in several, deep consecutive thrusts before the heat from his cock was gone and I was left clenching around nothing. His arms held me close, and I returned the gesture with a tight grip. “I love you, Kayda,” Changbin whispered and, if it was even possible, I melted into the mattress at his solemn declaration.
January
There was a small part of me that sometimes wondered if there was a reality out there somewhere in which Changbin and I had never met. For example, I stayed up late at night sometimes thinking about the car collision from Freshman year because it was the start of everything. But thinking that way made me also wonder if it was just the right time for everything to happen?
I’d like to think of it that way, even if everyone else seemed determined to prove me wrong. For example, I noticed that Lisa and her friends were starting to become a problem. Despite her desire for friendship, Lisa was doing decidedly unfriendly things whenever the opportunity arose and it usually happened when Changbin wasn’t paying attention. They left mean notes in my locker, teased my appearance in the hallways, and engaged in petty acts of vengeance that I chose to ignore because I could handle their jealousy
However, when their harmless pranks evolved into something more aggressive, they should’ve known better than to try something so bold. I just wish Changbin hadn’t been around to witness their cruelty because he was certainly less accepting. It was actually an accident, having him accompany me to my car in the school’s parking lot because I had called him earlier when my parents asked me to get an inspection. At the exact moment of discovery, time slowed down in a long, futile moment in which I desperately tried to distract his attention. I had been trying to hide their abuse from the one person who would completely break-down, but I guess that was their intention all along.
Changbin was unsurprisingly furious, glaring at the degrading word spray painted along my door with a terrifying expression. “It's okay,” I whispered, but Changbin shook his head.
“Leave the car with me,” Changbin demanded with a tone that left no room for argument. “Ask Jisung to take you home.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked with slight trepidation, reaching out for his arm, but Changbin jerked away from my touch.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said, leaving no further room for argument, and I watched him speed down the road without any disregard for the school zone warning.
Thereafter, I sent a message to Jisung before sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. It didn’t take long for Jisung’s familiar car to pull into the parking lot. He stopped next to me, rolling down the window to catch my attention. “Did someone call for a ride?”
I tried to smile, but I knew it failed the moment I joined Jisung in the passenger’s seat. “What happened?”
“I hate it here,” I said, ignoring the look of concern on his expression.
“Kayda, you need to tell me everything.”
“Some of the girls decided to be cute,” I snapped. “They pulled a stupid prank and vandalized my car.”
“What?” Jisung growled, unintentionally breaking hard at a stoplight. “That’s not a prank, Kayda. You need to tell the school, and you have to call your parents if it’s your car!”
“Changbin will handle it.”
“Kayda,” Jisung sighed. “I just drove for twenty minutes to pick you up at school because someone thought it was okay to hurt you.”
“It’s just words,” I said. “I have thick skin, and I’ve spent years ignoring their stupid comments.”
“Yeah? Well, I know that sometimes words can have a bigger effect than what you might think,” Jisung said. “It never gets easier.”
“I understand my limits,” I said. “Their approval doesn’t matter to me.”
“What happens when it changes from words to something worse?”
I shivered at his warning. “I’ll handle it.”
“Kayda,” Jisung sighed. “You don’t have to be brave all the time.”
“It’s not about being brave,” I argued. “I want to stand up for myself, and I can’t rely on you or Changbin all the time.”
“We’ll always be there for you,” Jisung said. “You can depend on us.”
He still refused to see reason, but I guess that was just a part of Jisung’s nature to be overly caring. “I know I can trust you,” I said. “I’ll tell you if I can’t handle it.”
“Don’t let them win, Kayda,” Jisung said, glancing at me with a worried expression. “You’re stronger than they think.”
I was surprised to hear such a request. “I’ve never backed down from them.”
“You also have Changbin,” Jisung said. “Remember that for me.”
I knew what he was trying to say, and I resisted the urge to remind him that it was almost impossible for Changbin to be around all the time.
February
It was still instinctual for me to dread the idea of Valentine's day, but Changbin was determined to change my perception of the romantic holiday. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help myself when I grew irritated with the Rose stems littered throughout the hallways and random boxes of candy discarded in the most random of places. The cliche of flowers on February 14th made me wonder if it was possible for girls to still giggle at that sort of thing even when they were finally married with children.
“Reynolds,” Changbin grinned, pausing next to my locker. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Really?” I groaned. “Let’s get it over with.”
Changbin rolled his eyes. “You have to wait until after-school. I want it to be special.”
I was now even more hesitant to face Changbin’s endearing expression. “It’s never a good thing when you talk that way.”
“I think you’ll really like it,” he continued. I guess he had become a master of filtering out the stuff he didn’t want to hear.
“We both have practice.”
“Well, I’ll just wait for you,” Changbin said. “I’ve been planning this for months, Reynolds. Just humor me.”
“Fine,” I grumbled. “But if you’re planning on taking me somewhere...”
“It’s nothing like that,” he assured me. “However, since it is Valentine's Day, I expect lots of kisses.”
“Lower your expectations,” I informed him with a smirk.
I followed Changbin to his car, noticing that most of the other students had already found their way home. “Why are we waiting so late?” I asked.
“Privacy,” Changbin offered as a response.
He helped me inside the passenger’s seat of his fancy car before quickly joining me on the other side. “This is romantic,” I remarked, glancing around the empty parking lot.
Changbin rolled his eyes. “I had to work with our limited options.”
“Well?” I questioned, turning to him expectantly. “I’ve been waiting for this all day.”
“Lose the sarcasm, Reynolds,” Changbin scoffed, reaching into the backseat.
I closed my eyes, holding out my hand expectantly. “I’m ready for my reward.”
“You just can’t resist,” Changbin said, but I curled my fingers around the velvety texture of the small object he placed into my open palm. “I hope you like it.”
I blinked rapidly, glancing down at the tiny box with a frown. “What is it?”
“I think you know how to figure that out, Reynolds,” Changbin teased, but his tone was strangely nervous.
I carefully opened the delicate lid, widening my eyes in surprise when I discovered the tiny piece of beautiful silver inside. “Binnie.”
“It’s not what you think it is,” Changbin said, chuckling at my expression. “They call it a promise ring.”
“I’ve heard about that,” I said, admiring the way the light reflected against the diamond in the middle.
“Try it on!” he requested with an enthusiasm that was impossible to resist.
I obliged him, holding out my hand to display the beautiful piece of jewelry. “It’s gorgeous.”
“You like it?” he asked, looking like an overeager puppy desperate to please its master.
“I think it’s amazing,” I told him honestly. “Thank you, Changbin.”
“It suits you, Reynolds,” Changbin smiled, but he quietly chuckled when he tapped the side of his cheek. “Well?”
I rolled my eyes, but accommodated his request, pecking him sweetly before he turned his head to meet my lips in the space between our seats. It was long and lazy, a careful pressure that bordered between deep intimacy and the tender way Changbin always treated me. “I love you, Kayda,” he whispered just to fill the silence with much-needed sentiment.
March
If there was ever a reason to hate Mondays more than I already did, then the flood of garbage that fell from my locker would definitely top the list. The hallway was filled with the sounds of my classmates’ laughter, and nobody offered their assistance while I resisted the urge to bang my head against the harsh metal of my locker door. “Kayda,” a small voice whispered from next to me. “Do you need help?”
I tried to smile at Seungmin, but I knew I failed. “Thank you.”
We were both quiet as we worked against the clock to clean up the mess on the floor. The warning bell offered deterrence, and I encouraged Seungmin to leave for his first class. “Don’t tell Changbin,” I said, but the younger boy gave me a look that said my boyfriend would know regardless because gossip often spread like a wildfire throughout the hallways.
Accordingly, I wasn’t surprised to find Changbin in the parking lot that afternoon hunched over the steering wheel. I wordlessly joined him inside his car, shutting the door to block out the noises of our inconsiderate classmates. “I don’t know why they’re doing that to you,” Changbin finally sniffled.
“I think they’re just jealous,” I said, finding a strange contradiction that I should be the one comforting someone else when I was the target of such blatant bullying.
“I don’t want that for you,” Changbin said. “It’s all my fault.”
“Why? Because you’re popular?”
“I made myself seem unattainable, and now I’m paying the price.”
“I don’t think that’s why,” I said quietly. “Please don’t blame yourself. It’s hard enough dealing with everyone else.”
“But it’s hurting you,” Changbin insisted.
“I’m fine, Changbin,” I said firmly. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“The things they say about you,” Changbin continued. “I think they should be punished.”
“The year is almost over,” I said. “I can tolerate them for a few more months.”
“I just don’t want them to send you away from me,” Changbin said, and I felt my heart break at the raw vulnerability in his words.
“At this point, nothing can send me away,” I whispered into the tense silence, wrapping my arms around Changbin to quietly soothe away his tears.
The next morning at school, I found Changbin before our first period class, pleased to see him in good spirits. The letter in my hand was practically burning my skin, and I was desperate to tell him the good news. “Reynolds,” he grinned, leaning down to press his lips against my forehead. “I’m surprised to see you.”
���Look,” I encouraged him with a gentle tone, holding out the letter for him to take.
He accepted it with wide eyes, offering me a curious look before studying the envelope. I heard his breath hitch when he saw the logo in the top corner. I smiled because I had anticipated Changbin’s overwhelming excitement when he finally realized what I was implying. However, he continued to surprise me. “It wasn’t your first choice.”
I blinked twice before responding. “Yeah, but I think I prefer the mountains.”
“You really want to go here?” Changbin asked. “Kayda, I need you to be honest with me.”
“It’s a wonderful private school,” I said, offering him a bright smile. “I want to stay with you.”
“But...you talked about Harvard and Yale and...”
“Binnie,” I interrupted him sternly. “I know what I want.”
Changbin sighed, looking at me with dark eyes. “You’re more than capable, Reynolds, but I’m still worried.”
“I’ll just have to convince you then,” I said with a smile, surprising him with a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth.
April
For the first time since my acceptance, I finally had the opportunity to tour the main campus of my future University. It was a gorgeous spring afternoon, and arranging our schedules for the weekend meant that there were less students hustling to make it to their lectures on time. Likewise, I found myself in Changbin’s company, swinging our hands loosely together while we walked along the sidewalk to the undergraduate library.
“What do you think?” Changbin asked, looking at me with a fierce expression.
“I think it’s beautiful.”
“Do you really mean that?”
I nodded, ignoring the intensity of his gaze to admire the sprawling, well-manicured lawn of the immense library. “This will be my favorite spot on campus.”
“It does have convenient access,” Changbin smirked. “I guess I should get used to coming here.”
“Why? So you can distract me?” I teased him.
“I can concentrate,” Changbin retorted. “Honestly, Reynolds, I plan on turning a new leaf at this place.”
“Is that so?” I grinned. “Have you decided on a major?”
“It’s too soon,” Changbin insisted. “I want to explore my interests!”
“You mean, other than basketball?”
“Reynolds, you understand me too well,” Changbin nodded, offering me a chaste kiss in return.
“What about your dorm arrangements?”
“I’ve already finished the application.”
“And your new class schedule?”
“Finalized,” Changbin smirked, wrapping his arms around my waist to pull me flush against his chest.
“I guess this is your way of being serious,” I said, even as I made no complaints about the familiar comfort of his embrace. “Where to next?”
“Let’s just relax here,” Changbin said, pulling me down next to him on the manicured grass. “We’ll have plenty of time to memorize the campus.”
“I could use the fresh air,” I teased, running my hand soothingly against his stomach before resting my head on his shoulder. In the meantime, his fingers found their ways into my soft curls, working through the strands with lazy movements. If my future was going to involve numerous afternoons like this, curled up next to Changbin’s side, then I was more than prepared for the next adventure.
“Reynolds,” Changbin whispered softly. “This is still what you want?”
I lifted my head to meet his gaze. “You know that I applied here because it was something I wanted.”
“Yeah,” Changbin sighed. “But college is really important to you.”
“Changbin, I know you still think that I gave up on my dreams or whatever,” I said with a dramatic roll of my eyes to let him know just how ridiculous that sounded. “Actually, it’s called a compromise, and I would never settle for anything less than what I think is best.”
Changbin swallowed hard, and I could tell that he wasn’t completely sold. “I trust you to make the right decisions for yourself, Reynolds,” he said. “But this only makes me love you even more.”
I returned his display of affection, allowing a lingering kiss that seemed to melt away into the afternoon sun. “Thank you, Binnie.”
May
On a quiet summer’s evening, I visited Jisung on his campus to silently walk together along the trails in the university gardens. It was remarkably peaceful, and I was content with Jisung’s mindless chatter concerning his final exams and the dreaded topic of moving back home. However, I knew it wouldn’t take him long to turn the topic of our conversation to my impending college plans.
“You’re going so far away,” Jisung whined. “I’ll never get to see you.”
I grinned at his tone. “I’ll always come home to visit you. We have breaks every now and then.”
“Maybe I’ll transfer to your school,” Jisung insisted. “I don’t want you completely out of my life.”
“I don’t want that either,” I said. “But I also want you to be happy.”
“Who says I can’t be happy at that rich, prep school,” Jisung pouted. “I’d fit in with the other nerds.”
“I just meant that you need to do the best for yourself,” I said.
“Well, no matter what I decide, I hope we’ll both do our best to make it work,” he said, pausing next to one of the flower displays.
“I think everything will work out,” I nodded, completely assured as I leaned most of my weight into Jisung’s comfortable embrace.
“Kayda Reynolds,” Jisung murmured. “Thank you for being my friend.”
Thereafter, no more words were needed to secure the strong bond between a special kind of relationship.
At a certain point during the year, most of my classmates had finally resigned themselves to the inevitably. Whenever possible, I found myself in the company of my boyfriend or his friends, constantly surrounded by those who cared about me the most. In return, everyone else chose to ignore me, abandoning their fruitless campaign against Kayda Reynolds. Although, I still suspected Changbin had something to do with their silence, especially since I rarely saw Lisa between classes anymore as if she was doing everything in her power to stay out of my way.
Regardless, it was easy to count down the remaining days of school with a far more peaceful atmosphere. Graduation was looming on the horizon, and this summer promised another exciting adventure with Changbin because we planned to spend a great deal of time at the beach with our friends. Everything was working out in my life, and I couldn’t help but feel like I owed Changbin for the dramatic transformation.
Despite my initial desire for a boring four years of high school, I wouldn’t trade my experiences for anything else in the world.
“Felix’s grandfather owns a beach house,” Changbin said, leaning against his car while we talked together in the parking lot after school. “I don’t think he’ll mind if we take over.”
“He’s surely gracious,” I snorted. “I suspect that your dearest friends will make quite the mess over the summer.”
“What are saying?” Changbin smirked. “We know how to behave.”
“I’m sure you do,” I agreed, offering no protest when he pulled me closer, fingers curling into my belt loops.
“You seem really happy these days, Reynolds.”
“Well, you make me happy.”
Changbin cringed, wrinkling nose as he shook his head. “What happened? You usually hate saying those things.”
I rolled my eyes, throwing my arms around his neck to bring him down to my height. “I love you, Changbin,” I finally whispered, feeling his entire body tremble at my solemn declaration.
“Thank you for staying with me, Kayda,” Changbin whispered. “You’ve done more for me than you could ever know.”
I smiled, gripping him tighter. “Changbin, there’s no way I can ever leave you now.”
Our lips met somewhere in the middle and I couldn’t think of a better way to start our next journey.
#stray kids#stray kids fanfic#skz#skz fanfic#stray kids imagines#stray kids smut#seo changbin#seo changbin fanfic#seo changbin smut#stray kids changbin#skz changbin#skz changbin smut
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Lessons I learned from the Games
Most of this is just silly, some are actual lessons.
SCK/SCK2:
If you’re going to get murdered, get revenge by leaving clues to the blackmail you have on potential suspects and hope to god someone figures it out
If you’re investigating a crime, being a random transfer student at the end of the year is probably not the way to go, but no one cares because they’re too busy with college applications.
If your niece is coming to your place to investigate a murder and you’re not there, the least you can do is set up a cage to trap any possible break-ins.
Nothing beats being able to hold a gun to the murderer #whySCKremastered???
Teens dealing with pressures to meet college and parental demands
Teens resorting to drugs
Teens dealing with sexism that’s found in abundance in college and work environments
Teachers not giving a shit about what students are going through.
STFD:
If you’re getting death threats, play it cool. Keeps the perps unhinged
Toxicity of fan culture
Throw all CEOs into the closet
Nothing beats Jazz
If you’re going to commit crime in an actor’s community, you must do it with flare
MHM:
If you’re going to buy a Victorian mansion, the least you can do is check for ghosts. And also hire a carpenter beforehand
Never invest your life’s savings into anything
Treat those who help you with basic decency (my god Rose!)
If you’re snooping on someone, don’t give them any indication that you’re onto them
If someone slips a threatening message under your door, open the door.
Victorian houses have all sorts of booby traps, FIND THEM.
TRT:
Don’t trust anyone who’s eager to be your friend
Trust the weirdos and grumpy people
Learn French
Don’t leave incriminating evidence that reveals your lies
There is no such thing as too much food
Women in history have been badly treated by (male) historians.
It’s called the past for a reason
Turn a bad situation into an opportunity to learn
If you’re going to do crime, at least ensure you have an escape route that’s not blocked by the snow
Don’t date people who pressure you to marry them/ask you to prove your love for them
FIN:
As a woman, if you want anyone to take you seriously and help, you have to be adamant, sassy, and everything men don’t like to see in women.
If you’re a POC, the chances of the police helping you decreases
Capitalism sucks
Police suck
Misogyny in capitalism
Old theaters are amazing
Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!
Don’t talk to suspects about your case
Have confidence in yourself
SSH:
Colonialism still exists in the form of capitalism
The art industry is completely profit driven
Mexico and America tensions
The Mayans
They never talked about what happened to the Mayans…..
Don’t deal with shady salesmen
Sometimes saving money contributes to a bad system
If you accepted a position, take your work seriously
Don’t trust the guy trying to be your friend!!!!
Master the art of amnesia should you ever need to use it
Even if you disband a group of art thieves, it’s best to be humble
No one in life is going to help you, even if you get pushed into a monolith
DOG:
This game is why it’s important to put your dog(s) on a leash! (insert that dog vine: “it don’t bite. Yes it do!”)
If we didn’t have uptight rangers, the parks would be burnt to smithereens
Misogyny exists in the woods
People who are just trying to do their job always get a bad rap even though it’s because of them the park still exists!
Gangsters are bad, but also low-key cool
Get back at your enemies by making a fake grave of them
Old people have interesting stories
Gold can release arsenic into water
Always check well water before using
Wood mice are bad for health
If you’re going to get tied up and tossed into your tool shed, keep a scythe on hand
Go birdwatching at night
Torque is a fancy word for screw driver
If you’re a POC, people are most likely to suspect you.
CAR:
There is no job security if you end up in hospital
Sometimes you really need a 2000 calorie sundae
If you went to jail, people are most likely to suspect you first
Don’t spy on your co-workers
Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!
Don’t procrastinate on a job
If you’re miserable in life, maybe it’s time to sign up for some therapy
If you have a sad backstory, you’re automatically entitled to everyone’s sad backstory
Mental illness: depression
Health awareness: niacin, don’t eat junk food like a 2000 calorie sundae
Don’t dump someone just because they’re not able to give you a lavish lifestyle
DDI:
If you’re going to trash someone’s boat, don’t leave your business card behind
If you’re tired of small mindedness, it’s best to just leave
It’s always handy in life to know boating skills
If you’re trying to report suspicious activity, communicating by bottles is not the way to go
Don’t feed wild animals!
Capitalism sucks
Look carefully at your environment, you never know what clues are left behind
Always make a plan B in case plan A doesn’t work
Don’t be afraid to explore
SHA:
Never trust the guy who’s trying to be your friend!!!
Always trust the grumpy guy
Horses die easily
There is no such thing as over ripe vegetables
Sunflowers should be planted near gardens so that bees come
Respect chickens
Falling in love with a criminal is difficult when your dad’s a cop
It’s handy to know how to ride a horse
Ghost towns are terrifying
Farmers work hard and should be respected
CUR:
Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t be a negligent parent
Before getting married, make sure your partner has a good relationship with your child
Don’t trust creepy people
America and British will always oppose each other
Talking parrots are always handy
British aristocracy was supported through colonialism #got Loulou on his Travels, uh huh
If you’re a spinster, you’re going to be the mom of something
If you’re afraid of becoming a monster, best be dramatic about it
It’s really important to have good communication between partners
Don’t stick your new wife in a room that still has pictures of your old wife and where all the furniture has covers on them
If you have a manor, you better explore it before some 12-year-old gets hurt exploring it
don’t go to great lengths to protect a rock
calling something that skips every generation a “family tradition” is just rude and exclusive
don’t leave your child alone for so long. Don’t keep them away from people their age
don’t write memories, no one wants to hear your life story
CLK:
if you’re going to presume someone’s identity, you better nail the part down hard
don’t blow up the kitchen when there’s only three people in the house and you were the closest and last one in the kitchen
emotional manipulation
gas lighting
if someone mentions stolen jewellery, putting back what you stole just incriminates you
even if you have psychic abilities, don’t be an ass bout it
no one ever tips because no one like the system. Pay your employees what they deserve!
Even though the depression’s going on, people are still dumping money in psychic lessons and dress making
No one ever gives anything away for free
Even if you’re promised money, don’t put too much trust in the promises of others
Don’t be rude to the person who’s trying to help you
If your partner is demanding to be spoiled during an economic depression, find a better partner
People aren’t as smart as you, tell them straight where you left your will.
TRN:
The dumb blonde joke is not funny
Cops are useless and unhelpful
People are more willing to listen to adults then teens/young adults
Celebrities are much different in real life then in their celebrity world.
Don’t steal someone else’s ideaà artist theft
Old trains are super cool
People aren’t as smart as you, tell them straight where you hid your treasure
Don’t dump someone just because people think they’re dumb
DAN:
Capitalism sucks
The fashion industry is brutal
normal size representation
Boss’s can be crappy people
Don’t blackmail people
If you promised to do work, you better dedicate yourself to it
Having a healthy fear of giving away personal information is not a bad thing
Don’t aid stalkers
Covid-precaution: cover face with mask. Act erratic to keep people away from you
Concept of older men dating younger women is actually frowned upon
Love is mysterious
Flashlight on the many women who helped decode during WW2 but largely remain unrecognized by countries today
Forgery is okay sometimes
CRE:
Indigenous cultures continue to be badly and negatively portrayed in media
Capitalism sucks
Environmentalism
Academia is not as research oriented as one wishes it was
Daddy-issues
Native Hawaiians forced to “work with” big corps in order to survive.
Tourism industry and its affects on the environment and native population
Sometimes an upgrade is not a good thing
ICE:
Animal conservatism
Capitalism sucks
International competitions suck
Running away from humans to hide in a cabin and bonding with a wolf is not a bad thing
Never enter a sauna alone
It’s bad business to kick customers out
If your customers are falling asleep everyday in a common room, it’s probably not a good sign of booming business
Don’t be chill over bombs exploding near your hotel
Always handy to know how to drive a snow mobile
Don’t volunteer to be a maid, ever
Cops are useless
CRY:
Don’t dump your job on your girlfriend
There’s nothing wrong with being emo
Men being emotional and desiring love and affection
Men being abused in relationships
Even if your relative leaves you a ton of money, it’s no excuse for not being a good guardian/parent
Don’t trust strangers. Don’t eat food from random people
Customer service is awful. Even when the customer is trying to instigate a horrible reaction in you, you got to put on a smile
Always trust the eccentric lady
Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory, unless you’re a guy, I guess.
A date in the cemetery is not a bad idea
If your partner demands you to spoil them, get a new partner
People aren’t as smart as you, tell them where you hid your treasure
VEN:
Anyone can help out on an international mafia case
The mafia is very creative and artistic
Capitalism sucks
Assert your independence as a young woman by dancing in a cat suit on stage? I guess?
Money can be found anywhere
Eat the rich
Don’t trust the person trying to be friends with you
Possessive relationships are red flags
Don’t steal a cheap neckless if you’re a notorious thief
Cops kind of useful for once.
HAU
Don’t pull a prank on your partner before your wedding
Don’t invite someone who used to date your partner and still has feelings for them
If your partner is missing, actually look for them instead of sitting around
Crows are amazing
Fiona might have lost her parents at a young age and her life as a hermit definitely had its side affects, but she also saved herself from the misogyny women endured
RAN:
If your friend gets kidnapped, please, at least fake some concern
Don’t waste time with monkeys
The only other person on the island is probably the culprit
WAV:
Girl bullying can be worse than boy bullying
Don’t trust the person who’s trying to be your friend!!!!!!
TOT:
Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory, unless you’re a guy, I guess.
Academic institutions are struggling to fund research
Capitalism sucks
Even if you hate your lead, don’t sabotage the team
Communication is important
Even if you hate your job, don’t sabotage your team
SAW:
People who resist to change just become boulders in the way of progress
Boomer mentality is soul destroying
Emotional manipulation
Gas lighting
Depression
Sometimes you have to cut away from those you love in order to maintain your sanity
Nancy’s sad backstory allows her to hear everyone else’s sad backstory.
If you have to give your partner a gift every time you fight, you might have relationship problems
Don’t be in a relationship just because you’re used to it
Don’t force someone to adhere to your expectations in life
If you’re unable to talk to your partner and so resort to haunting her inn, you probably have relationship issues
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glass is fragile
Criminal Minds Fic Part One
| PART 1 | PART 2 |
Word Count: 4.3k
Warnings: implied character death
Notes: cross-posted on Ao3. this is the result of a random idea I had because while I love Hotchniss, I love the idea of the two meeting in college and keeping in contact with Hotch being an overprotective brother
fortuna vitrea est; tum cum splendet frangitur (fortune is glass; just when it gleams brightest it shatters) - Publilius Syrus
“Agent Hotchner?”
Hotch looked up and did a double-take. “Emily?” he stood up, sending a surprised look at the smiling woman carrying a file box standing in front of his desk. He walked around his desk and closed his office door before giving her a half hug. “It’s been a while hasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Emily let out a brief laugh, placing the box down on one of the chairs. “Last we talked was what, two years ago?”
“Must have been,” Hotch walked back around the desk and sat down, gesturing for Emily to do the same. “How’ve you been doing?”
Her expression dimmed a bit, shadows encroaching on the brightness of their reunion. “Well, he is still locked away, so it’s old history,” she shrugged. “Joined the bureau about a year ago, and I’ve been stuck in a desk job over at White Collar.”
Hotch held her gaze, knowing what was going unsaid, then nodded and changed the subject. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what’s brought you here? Last I heard you were doing pretty well over in the DC office.”
Emily’s expression gave way to confusion as she sat up straight. “I’m transferring to your team,” she said slowly.
Hotch paused. “I didn’t receive any paperwork nor did I authorize any transfer,” he told her awkwardly.
She reached into the box and pulled out a file, giving it to him. “I’m not sure what to tell you,” she said and indicated the file, “but that’s what I have.” Hotch flipped through, lips compressed in thought.
“I’m going to have to look into this,” he looked up at her seriously and forestalled any protests with a placating hand. “There’s no doubt that you’re qualified to join this team. However, normally, all applications for this unit go directly to me, and your transfer happens to come just as there have been some inquiries regarding this unit.”
A look of mutual understanding passed between them, their experience with bureaucratic and office politics filling in all the blanks. “Well,” Hotch broke that silence that had fallen and stood up, “you’ve luckily caught us when we’re on stand down, so I’ll introduce you to the team and you can get set up.”
Emily nodded and stood up as he picked up the box for her, both slightly put off-balance in the new boss-employee dynamic between them after they had worked together on equal footing for a few years. Hotch nudged her arm, stopping her just before they walked out of the office.
When she looked up at him, a small but genuine smile had broken through the darker affect he had gained since the last time they had seen each other.
“It really is good to see you again.”
~~~
“Any idea why Sean, just out of the blue, asked to meet with us?”
Emily shook her head. “No idea,” she answered, looking at the suited man in the driver’s seat of the black Mercedes. “It’s been six years since I last talked to him. You?”
“Same as you, about six,” Hotch replied. “I remained in contact with him for a bit after I returned to the BAU, but our exchanges were usually brief.”
The two lapsed into an easy silence until Hotch pulled up in front of a jazz bar. They got out of the car and easily fell into an old rhythm developed over twenty years ago in New Haven, one that they often took advantage of during cases because of its apparently intimate nature.
“Emily Prentiss,” a burly Scottish man stood up from a booth towards the back of the bar and opened his arms invitingly. “Aaron Hotchner.”
Emily let out a delighted laugh and went in for the hug while a Hotch lagged behind with a faint smile.
“Sean,” Hotch sent the man a nod of greeting and shook his hand, “how are you?”
“Good,” Sean answered, gesturing towards the booth and sitting down.
“Sorry we weren’t able to get back to you sooner,” Emily said, scooting inward to make room for Hotch. “We got caught up chasing a spree killer couple out to the Pacific Northwest.”
“I had to be in DC anyway,” Sean responded. The delight the two FBI agents felt at seeing the man quickly faded and made way for feelings of foreboding when Sean’s demeanor and tone turned serious and almost fearful. He took a breath. “Ian Doyle vanished from prison, and Interpol can’t find him.”
His insides turning cold, Hotch immediately looked at Emily, who had gone pale. “What—” she swallowed, “what are you saying?”
Sean leaned in, a grim look in his eyes as he looked between the two. “He’s off the grid,” he said gravely.
“Do you think he’s headed here?” Hotch asked quietly, thoughts straying towards Emily and his son. Sean’s gaze only turned grimmer as he didn’t answer.
Emily’s shaky voice broke the tense silence—only interrupted by the ambiance of the bar—that had fallen. “Am I in danger?”
The Scotsman looked down, taking a moment to gather himself before looking back up, a chilling answer on his lips.
“We all are.”
~~~
“He sent freesias to your apartment?”
“No, don’t tell me, not even over this line. I’m going on a run tomorrow morning around National Mall and planning to eat at Dupont Circle afterward. I’ll send you the address if you’d like to join me?”
“Yeah, the moment I got home after Sean told us I checked and reset everything, did my rounds. You know how I can be, especially after… yeah.”
“If I didn’t know better I’d say I might be the least at risk, given that I was only involved half the time you guys were. But you are in significantly more danger than any of us.”
“Leave worrying about what I have to lose to me. You—for once in your life, just think about yourself and be careful.”
~~~
“You’ve got to get out of there.”
Hotch approached Emily out in the hallway, picking out fear from the urgency in her tone. “Get a flight. Leave France, get back to America,” she continued, unable to fully hide her fearful worry as she met his gaze with her own. “Cash transactions from here on out, am I clear?”
He watched as Emily listened to the other caller, a sinking feeling in his stomach. “Toss that cell phone and get home safely,” she finally said firmly, hanging up without waiting for a response.
“Who?” Hotch asked simply, having suspicions as to what this was about. Emily turned to glance through the window, seeing Reid watching the two carefully—Hotch followed her gaze just in time to catch Reid quickly looking back down.
He shook his head, looking back at Emily. “My office, as soon as we can.”
~~~
Hotch opened the next report in his stack and quickly flipped through only to see a ripped sheet of paper in between a crime scene photo and the autopsy report. Recognizing the handwriting, he pulled it out, only to freeze when he read the note.
I received a text last night. He’s in the country.
He ripped up the paper as he looked out into the bullpen, eyes landing on Emily, who was hunched over at her desk looking through a report. He took in a stabilizing breath as he felt yet another headache coming on in addition to the ever-present worry over his son’s safety, despite all the precautions he had put in place all those weeks ago in a fit of med-noncompliance-induced obsessive anxiety.
Digging out a sticky note from under the piles of paperwork on his desk and quickly writing a note, Hotch grabbed a fresh stack of papers and went out to distribute them. He surreptitiously slipped the sticky note onto Emily’s desk before moving onto the others and heading back into his office, closing the door behind him.
His personal phone buzzed.
>>T and C here in 48. 1300 rendezvous over phone (S): I’ll go out, you stay in the building
Hotch looked back into the bullpen at Emily, who was putting her phone away. He looked back at his phone and began to enter in a number when his gaze drifted over to the two pictures of Jack he kept on his desk. He sighed and deleted the number he just inputted, completing yet another round of the indecisive compulsion that started ever since that meeting in the jazz bar.
~~~
“I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” Tsia’s voice came over the phone and faintly from a few meters away. “After what happened to Jeremy, I was afraid.”
Emily sighed, shifting the newspaper in her lap. “Tsia, I’m sorry you can’t be at his funeral. It’s today, isn’t it?”
“Well, that’s the problem with marrying a member from your own team,” the other woman responded resignedly. “One of you is a target, so is the other. I get it.”
“Hello, darling,” a new voice came over the call—Emily couldn’t help but mentally sigh at the nickname from Clyde.
“Alright,” Hotch interjected. “Emily and I took a late lunch, and I’m currently reviewing a potential field case, so let’s make this quick.”
“How many times do I have to tell you?” Clyde asked rhetorically. “I’m not quick about anything.”
Emily rolled her eyes in exasperation and faint amusement, practically able to feel Hotch’s glare over the phone. “I don’t know,” she drawled. “What about that time I blew my cover in Prague? You took out that sentry before I could even draw my weapon. You saved my ass, Clyde.”
“I’m surprised you remember the little people from your Interpol days, now that you’re a posh FBI profiler,” Clyde shot back.
Hotch pointedly cleared his throat and changed the subject. “What’s being done to locate Doyle?”
“Only every agency in the northern hemisphere is looking for him.”
“What are we doing to find him?” Emily emphasized.
“My contact at DCRI tracked one of Doyle’s aliases leaving France the day after Jeremy’s murder,” Tsia reported. “He took a commercial flight to Beijing, then doubled back on a train bound for Berlin.”
“But when GSG 9 intercepted it, he was already gone,” Clyde finished.
“He sent me flowers, so I think it’s safe to assume he’s coming here,” Emily wryly added.
“Why is he doing this?” Tsia asked.
“Why do you think?” Hotch threw back. “We put him away. Hold on—” he cut himself off just as Emily’s other phone beeped.
“Duty calls?” Emily didn’t answer, feeling Clyde’s eyes on her back. “I know what you’re thinking—absolutely not,” he said firmly. “Your team isn’t under oath—”
“They could help,” she interrupted.
“How?” Tsia questioned. “We don’t even know where Doyle is. Involving them at this point would be premature.”
“Hotch?”
“Emily,” Hotch started quietly. “They’re highly capable, yes, but they don’t have clearance, and I rather doubt Strauss would be willing to help plead our case.”
“It would also be highly reckless,” Clyde interjected. “Leave it to Tsia and I, and you two stay with your team.”
“Even in hiding Doyle can’t resist extravagance,” Emily suggested, relenting to the others. “Track the money.”
“I will find him, darling. Trust me.”
Hotch scoffed at the plea request over the phone. “I don’t trust anyone, anymore,” Emily threw back, her tone conveying how both she and Hotch feel about that appeal.
~~~
>>T and C tracked V to DC. Chuck Murray.
<<Isn’t that the name of V’s dog?
>> Yep.
>>I’m playing fish food tonight. Alone.
<<Are you sure?
>>Like you said: you’re in as much danger as the rest of us are. I also happen to be his main target and he’ll kill anyone in his way. You happen to have the most to lose, and you can bet that he’s already got eyes on you.
<<Don’t worry about me, I’ve gotten that handled quite a bit ago. Location.
>>Seriously?
<<I trust you. I just want to know where to start if you don’t show up tomorrow morning.
>>Fine. Hirshhorn Museum.
<<Don’t do anything stupid.
>>Awwww, is that emotion I detect from no-smile Iceman?
<<I can neither confirm nor deny.
<<Be careful, Blackbird.
~~~
“Ian Doyle is here in DC.”
“How can you be so sure?” Clyde asked skeptically.
“I sat next to him last night,” Emily deadpanned. “He said if I warned my team or told anyone, he’d kill them.”
“Does Aaron know about this?” Tsia was incredulous. Clyde snorted, rolling his eyes.
“Of course he does, he’s the protective big brother. Why didn’t Doyle kill you, and more to the point, why didn’t you kill him?”
“He’s not working alone,” Emily answered, staring at Clyde.
Tsia tried to reassure her. “Then he’s just playing with you—”
“No, no,” Clyde interrupted, disagreeing, “he’s a power-assertive psychopath. He doesn’t play games.”
“He’s meticulous, he plans everything down to the last detail—” Emily was cut off by a voice coming from her phone.
“Yeah, that last detail being you.”
“Finally decided to join us, Aaron?” Tsia turned to Emily. “Maybe you should tell your team,” she suggested.
“No, no way,” Emily shut it down. “This isn’t their fight.”
“Emily,” Hotch said over the phone. “He’s in DC, and he’s working with others. There is a high chance that the team is going to get pulled into something, you know that.”
“But—”
“I’m not saying we tell them now, but if the team does get pulled into this, we are going to have to tell them. You need to be prepared for that.”
Emily scoffed. “Are you?”
“We stay together, we can get him,” Tsia insisted.
“We already tried,” Emily retorted. “And look where that got us.”
“Wait, wait,” Clyde broke in, looking at her imploringly. “When you went undercover, I promised no one would harm you.”
“I’m not undercover anymore.”
“DC isn’t his comfort zone, it’s ours,” Hotch’s voice was firm. “This ends here.”
~~~
“Reid, you got anything?” Morgan asked, walking up behind the genius.
“The damage is pretty extensive, but luckily some of the tattoo remains,” Reid commented, focusing largely on the sketch.
“Seaver,” Hotch turned to the probationary agent, “get the victim’s photo out to the press.”
“I think I know who dug the hole.” Garcia’s voice rang out from behind them as she approached the group with a notebook in hand. The others turned. “The journo told me to follow the money, like straight up, that’s what he told me, so I did.” She moved to face the others. “It turns out ‘The Gazette’ is owned by a multinational global conglomerate—oil, new technologies, shipping, air and ground transportation—all of which employ the services of one company,” the analyst looked up from her notebook, “CWS.”
“Clearwater Securities?” Hotch asked, hiding the foreboding feelings starting to creep upon him.
Rossi looked at him in surprise. “You know them?”
“I’ve come across them,” Hotch confirmed, not looking at Emily. “They’re a private counterintelligence group out of Geneva.”
“Ron Cosenza, Byron Delaney, Kerry Fagan all worked for CWS,” Garcia told them.
“How long ago?” Emily asked.
“Seven years.”
“Seaver, hang up,” Hotch said, hiding the days-old conflict going strong in his head as she did as ordered.
Still looking towards Hotch, Rossi asked, “Do we have a problem?”
“No, CWS does.”
“Got it,” Reid leaned back in his chair, showing everyone the sketched reconstruction of the tattoo. Hotch froze, mind overlaying an old memory over the familiar design, and glanced at Emily, who had also gone pale. They made eye contact, and Hotch nodded to her unasked question.
As she slipped out of the bullpen, he turned to the others. “SCIF,” he ordered, bringing out his phone and scrolling through his contacts.
~~~
>>Are we…?
<<If V doesn’t already, he will know soon. There’s no reason not to tell them.
>>But like you said, they don’t have clearance.
<<Discuss this after the corporate roadblocks, see what the team needs to know and what they can know.
~~~
“Exactly why did you bring us here?” a portly man asked as the team walked into the SCIF. “And why is the BAU interested in CWS?”
Hotch handed the men at the end of the table a few folders as Morgan threw the first question. “Why did you pull that story?”
The men gave him a critical look before flipping open the folders to see pictures of the victims and crime scenes.
“That’s how you remember them,” Hotch indicated the headshots, then the crime scene photos. “And that is how they are now.”
“You warned your friend, Byron Delaney,” Morgan stated. “You knew him the longest. It’s too bad you were too late.”
The man looked back impassionately. “If you’re looking for reactions, this is our business.”
“Business?” Rossi questioned the wording.
“Ugly as that sounds,” the man amended diplomatically.
“Kerry Fagan, Ron Cosenza, and Byron Delaney, they all worked for CWS,” Morgan pointed out.
“As do forty thousand other subcontractors do all over the world.”
“So they were subcontracted to you.”
“If you’re looking for answers, take it up with the main contractor,” the man avoided the question.
“And that would be… ?” Rossi asked.
“Your government.”
“Whoever is killing these families holds your company responsible, not the government,” Hotch informed them shortly.
“We run operations from the Middle east to Antarctica,” the man said, “going over them all will take months.”
“So you’ve already started investigations?” The man didn’t answer, but his silence spoke volumes.
“That’s why you pulled the story,” Rossi concluded.
One of the others leaned in, whispering something in the man’s ear. He nodded and turned to the team. “The cases these people were involved in are protected by a multinational official secrets agreement. Even if I wanted to I—”
“These people were killed on US soil,” Morgan interrupted,” by trained suspects who fired on federal agents.”
“As a courtesy,” Hotch said when there was no response, “and out of respect for the predicament your company now faces, everything in this room is off the record. However, outside this room, if you withhold information about the case, you and your company will be held fully accountable.”
The men shifted, uncomfortable, when the spokesperson finally relented. “Alright, what do you know?”
“We’re looking for a European team with considerable training,” Hotch chose his words carefully. “And for one of them, it’s personal.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because they could have spared the child, but they chose not to,” Morgan said.
“The killing of Samuel Cosenza by one of the team was personal,” Hotch agreed.
“One of the attacks shot last night had the remains of a tattoo on his wrist,” Rossi informed them as Hotch passed over another folder.
“On the surface the tattoo may look like a simple four-leaf clover,” Morgan described, “but the stem has a ‘V’ at the end. We believe this is associated with a hidden sect of fallen warriors. It’s also the name of a ship famous for its journeys from Dublin to America, the ‘Valhalla.’”
Rossi eyed the looks on the men’s faces. “Have you seen that before?” he asked.
“We ran an operation to capture the leader of a breakaway IRA faction years ago,” the man said. “He assumed that moniker.”
“What’s his name?” Hotch asked, already knowing the answer. The man was silent for a moment.
“Ian Doyle.”
~~~
“Okay, Ian Doyle’s officially on everyone’s list,” Garcia said, eyes skimming over her computer screen. “His mug is all over the place. He’s not going to be able to get out of the district unless he sprouts wings himself.”
“It’s not that I’m not happy that we have his name,” Seaver interjected, “but how are we supposed to know who’s on his list?”
“We study his life and every single person he’s ever come in contact with,” Morgan answered.
“Look, Doyle’s been away for seven years,” Emily said as Hotch and Rossi entered the room. “But he still managed to figure out who the players were, maybe we should start with how he got out of prison,” she suggested.
“Well, where was he locked up?” Morgan asked.
“Russia, I think.”
“Actually, there are no extradition papers on him,” Seaver informed them.
“Was Doyle on your radar when you were at Interpol?” Hotch’s gaze locked onto Emily’s, putting the ball that had been passed between them over the past week in her court.
“Uh, sure, I had heard of him, but direct contact?” she shook her head. “I’d have to ask around.”
“You do that, I’ll see who I can get from my end,” Hotch said to the others’ surprise as she nodded and walked out. “Not now,” he said to the team, sensing their questions and pulling out his phone.
“Good guys and bad keep files close to them,” Rossi brought their focus back.
“What are in these files?” Garcia asked.
“It’s intel. Insurance. Protection, for times like this,” he explained.
“Maybe I should go to Byron Delaney’s house and see what I can find,” Morgan suggested.
Hotch looked up from his texting at him. “Take Prentiss with you, she might have some insight.”
~~~
“The more players we get on this board, the sooner Erin will get her nose into it,” Rossi remarked.
Hotch didn’t look away from the photos they had pinned on the board. “Strauss already knows,” he said absentmindedly.
“I’m surprised she wasn’t in the SCIF,” Rossi said, surprised.
Hotch finally glanced at him. “She’s on vacation.”
“Oh, great. Now she’ll never take another one,” Rossi quipped. “You know people in Interpol?” he asked.
“Taskforce, joined late 2001 and returned half a year after Morgan joined the team. Did a bit of everything,” Hotch gave him a sardonic look. “Apparently, being a former prosecutor, former tactical agent, and now a profiler was highly desirable.”
Rossi snorted, momentarily giving away to amusement before sobering up. “Is everything about this guy classified?” he asked, staring at the messy case.
“Somebody knows him,” Hotch said. “We just haven’t found them yet.”
~~~
“Here’s the million-dollar question,” Garcia said, pulling up a close up of a foreign road sign. “Anyone know what language that is?”
“Those are villages in North Korea,” Prentiss said warily.
Garcia tilted her head. “I love you. Of course she does.”
“There’s a political prison near Haengyong-ni,” Prentiss continued.
“Camp 22, kwan-li-so,” Hotch said in recognition. “North Korea denies it exists.”
The others stared at him incredulously. “How—?” Morgan began.
“Two years,” Hotch explained shortly. “Met Emily a few times, heard Doyle’s name being tossed around. You think they took Doyle there?” he looked at the woman.
“That would explain why he’s after them,” Seaver suggested.
“Even his prison is off the grid,” Garcia threw in.
“All we know is that he was never married, had multiple residences, and was arrested at his Tuscan villa,” Seaver continued.
“There’s paperwork to back that up?” Emily asked.
“Ans a list of who was there that day,” Seaver confirmed, nodding. “There may be photographs, Reid’s looking into that now.”
“Right, so those people need to be warned that he’s on the warpath,” Hotch noted Emily’s deliberate calm belied by a nervous swallow.
“They have been,” Seaver said. “But here’s a whole different life he’s led, one that isn’t in any file.”
“Prentiss, did you hear from your European associates?” Hotch asked, checking if she had anything, himself having not gotten anything from them as of yet.
“I’m waiting for them to send me a document.”
“We need it now.” call them, now. How did he get to North Korea?
~~~
>>Told T to get out. C isn’t telling us everything.
<<And you trust me and T?
>>Known you since what, ‘89? And we’ve seen each other on the daily for the past five years now, Iceman.
>>Honestly, I don’t know about T or C, no idea what they’ve been up to.
<<Corelli’s?
<<If you want to keep hiding this you need to be more discreet, overheard you walking to my office.
<<Tell me later.
~~~
“What’s holding us up?” Rossi asked.
“We’re waiting for somebody from DC Metro Police,” Hotch said. “Then we can start.”
“Who’s got updates on roadblocks?”
“They will. All parkways and interstates in DC, Maryland, and Virginia have station checkpoints.”
“Doyle has the means to get in and out of the country,” Emily pointed out. “What makes you think he won’t get out of the District?”
Hotch blew out a breath, glancing at Emily and then at the numerous agency reps standing around in the bullpen. “It’s the best we’ve got right now.”
The door opened to reveal Morgan on the other side. “Metro got held up. Double homicide on K and 9th,” he reported. “They want me to take a look.”
An icy feeling trickled down Hotch’s spine when he realized what the location was. “Doyle?” he asked, not looking at Emily.
“Vic’s apartment looks like a black market forger,” Morgan said.
“The other victim?” Emily asked.
“A woman, thirties, no ID, outside his door.”
“I’m coming with you,” her tone brooked no argument.
“Go,” Hotch urged the two, who left as he picked up the landline.
~~~
“It’s not often that we know a subject’s name, and in this case, knowing Ian Doyle’s identity doesn’t give us very much,” Hotch said, standing in front of a room full of members of numerous letter agencies. “He’s known to a select few, and those who know him well either work beside him or they’re on his list.”
“Two or three of his victims worked for CWS and were responsible for his transport to North Korea,” he said, noting Emily and Morgan’s return to the office. “There were seven opeartives on the mission altogether, and the remaining five have been warned. All the federal and international agents responsible for tracking him down are now on his list of targets.”
“We’ll find Doyle the way we find any other offender—by studying his behavior. We’ll dissect his every move since he regained his freedom. When he escaped from North Korea, he killed a man and he used his vehicle to cross the border into Russia…”
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#bau#fanfic#david rossi#derek morgan#spencer reid#penelope garcia#hurt#sodone glass is fragile
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90210 season 3
ep 29&30 Commencement parts 1 and 2
I am loving the whole gangs outfits at the beginning of this episode
did they really all take a 40 min drive(if traffic was light) just to discuss this plan of theirs?
I love that Brenda and Dylan were the first ones togo for steve’s plan(soul mates! little rebellious soul mates ;) those two )
awe. cute little moment with Brenda & Dylan playing football >.<
Senior Wills? never heard of those did anybody do these at their high school
David 6 finals in 3 days means 2 finals a day...is this not the norm? I mean that’s exactly how i took my finals in high school 2 finals each day school was over by noon each day
How’s Dylan able to go anywhere sending in his application so late? unless he plans to start in the winter or spring semester?
WOW I’m shocked that hulu/the show was actually able to keep one of the songs they used in the original airing(school’s out by Alice Cooper)
Do people who work in TV just blissfully ignore/or forget about college application deadlines? It’s either late May or Mid June by the time these kids are graduating so they should be (or have already) finding out what college they are going to... not just barely submitting applications and recommendation letters
whoa make that 2 for 2 in keeping the songs!
I love that Nat is now an honorary member of the class of ‘93
OMG I forgot that David wasn’t really a part of the gang during the whole Laverne episode! (update: just watched the Laverne episode again David was actually there when Brenda and co. were lip-synching It’s my party)
Also is this episode clip/flashback episode?! So cheesy and cheap and yet I love it already!
oh no Andrea don’t you be having second thoughts about Yale just because of Brandon
lol baby David Silver...back when he had a crush on Kelly... they work much better as step siblings
The Walshes should just open their own ice cream Parlor at this point
Also Brenda and I both agree extra candy in ice cream everyday ;)
“Mom, this is the '90s: what kind of insecure wuss chooses a college based on where some guy is going” ~Brenda just before Andrea walks in...Pot meet Kettle lol
No Andrea thought Damn he’s cute! when Brandon first walked into the news room and you know what i can’t blame her ;)
i think we all jumped to conclusions regarding Andrea and Yale...oops
Smush??? :P that’s really you’re nickname for him Kelly? bleh
of all the flashbacks why must we flashback to Dylan choosing Kelly? did the writers enjoy seeing the fans suffer
they need stop acting like Kelly and Dylan were the big will they wont they couple of the show I’m sorry but they’ve barely been together for like 6-8 months and i’m going to stop there i’ll save the whole Dylan-Brenda-Kelly love triangle fiasco for another day
getting interrupted all the time you’re with Dylan, Kelly maybe you should take it as a sign
I love Dylan’s mom! She’s definitely the captain of Brylan(Brenda & Dylan) ship
“you’re still with Kelly?!”~Iris Mckay 1993 what a mood; same Iris same
I love Steve and Andrea’s friendship such an oddball one but it works
An egg hahaha
the double date from hell! lol that episode was hilarious and one of the last genuine sweet moments Kelly and Brenda had as friends(sans season 4 b/c idk what’s happening there)
Brenda’s Pairis adventure will always be her big what if...and i hate it :’(
an SNL skit lol too cute David and Donna
Damn no forgetting it’s the early ‘90′s with all those TVs on rolling carts...i guess they couldn’t project their video with a projector?
Damn David is not holding back handing Steve the giant legacy key lol
do you think the class of ‘93 was like WTF when they got their video year book and it was basically days in the life of Davids best friends lol
like why was David even considering putting the gangs camping trip in the yearbook? it had nothing to do with school
but i sure am glad they’re showing it lol
wait since when did Brenda and Kelly have a film crew with them when they went sky diving? lol
Hello Day! and who could forget Emily Valentine
what is this random musical number? about Brandon hahaha
oh i thought Brandon was day dreaming but nope it’s happening which makes all that much more bizarre and funny
also is it a little odd that Brenda is apart of this song? maybe it’s just me lol
oh Brandon you’ve been with more than a few girls
Oh the Spring Dance back when Dylan and Brenda were the happiest they’d ever been!
Jim and Cindy get a flashback too and it’s to one of their strangest encounters ever hahahaha until Brandon got arrested for Drunk Driving
Why do they keep teasing/hurting us with these greatest moments of Dylan and Brenda! Now the shower moment?!
Awe i still feel so bad for David and Scott :’(
If i didn’t know any better i’d say this episode is leading back to Dylan and Brenda getting back together but i know it’s not
it sure does feel like you flipped a coin Dylan
had there been no Kelly i think he Brenda would’ve gotten back together
I still think he would’ve had a summer fling...but had it been with someone random or a new character then i think it would’ve ended and he’d realize how stupid he was and get back with Brenda
He loved her more than he ever thought he could love anyone!
so he was scared by how much he genuinely loved Brenda i knew it!
Oh Iris I love how she doesn’t hide who she’s rooting for!
Dylan i know you have your problems with her but when it comes to relationship advice please listen to her ;)
I really wish Kelly would’ve gone to Paris :/
awe cute Minnesota twins moment(but has Brandon always been there for you Brenda? really it’s debateable)
oh I’m glad to see the writers remembered that both Brenda and Brandon transferred to West Beverly as almost straight A students and they are now graduating with honors
it just sounds weird to hear 1993 as 19 hundred and 93
damn poor Andrea can’t even relax on her graduation day
awe Kelly’s father actually showed up :’)
awe i loved that Jim(and Cindy) had a flashback moment that was specific to Brandon and Brenda
Dylan not only got a picture with his mom but now she’s taking a picture of him with Jim and Cindy who she knows might as well been his actual parents with all the times they were there for him
oh wow that was so mature of Dylan to reinstate the trust
uhhh no seriously i’m pretty sure they have to watch out for mountain lions
Very cool (and cheesy) way to end the high school years of 90210(gotta love that green screen lol)
and so we’ve come to the end of another season overall i’d give this season a 7.5/10 it lost a lot of points for all the Brenda-Dylan-Kelly BS it put me through and then even more pints lost when my OTP didn’t come out on top :P but overall good season
Onto Season 4 the gangs first year of college and honestly possibly the last season i watch since Brenda/Shannen leave the show at the end of it idk we’ll cross that bridge when we get there
#90210#beverly hills 90210#bh 90210#season 3#BH Review#tv show review#Brenda Walsh#dylan mckay#kelly taylor#Brandon Walsh#andrea zuckerman#steve sanders#david silver#donna martin
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hello my sweet jess, i have a prompt for u: hallelujah by haim reminds me so much of platonic tony, rhodey, and pepper, so if u can, maybe write something based off of that??
Mr. Potts was not supposed to get a job promotion. Which was actually fine. He and his family’s life would have been the same, mundane sort of life that many people’s were.
But the personal assistant to Mr. Potts’ boss knew that Mr. Potts brought two bagels from home every day and gave one to over-worked, underpaid intern on the second floor.
So she moved his application to the very top and highly suggested his position be moved up.
With a job promotion comes a transfer in location. Mr. Potts tells his wife and his daughter that they will be moving to New York.
Pepper’s upset about that, kind of. She doesn’t want to leave Ana but none of her classmates like her anyways, and it could be nice to go to New York. Besides, this means that she gets a new (hopefully bigger) room, and could maybe even swing a cat if she plays her cards right.
Rhodey was not supposed to be in New York either. But his mama was offered an option to help launch a business and this was her dream. He wasn’t going to fault her for that, and neither was dad. Besides, dad could transfer over in the company he was in, and Rhodey supposed he would get used to it.
Pepper and Rhodey apply to a high school that is known for excellent academics, rich students, and the occasional scandal. Pepper is focused on taking more business-centered classes while Rhodey wants to see if there’s any engineering classes.
They both get in. It’s unsurprising, really. Both are smart, young kids who have a bright future ahead of them.
Tony Stark gets in as well. That’s sort of a given because his dad has made enough money to bail out the American economy and he’s already known for being smart.
This doesn’t mean he’s particularly jazzed about it.
People who hate him or people who want something from him, and then the people that are a little mix of both.
Just classic.
Pepper is too focused on her outfit at the moment. She knows that this is stupid, really, because she’s not going to go down to some fancy place like Saks Fifth Avenue to find all the trendy clothes, nor is she going to even attempt to give a shit if anyone remarks something catty.
But she’s trying to make sure that she at least looks decent.
Rhodey’s struggling in the stiff, new pants that his mother bought and the button-down shirt that really seems too much.
They all sit together for orientation. Pepper’s not paying much attention to the fact that the richest kid in America is right next to her and trying to draw a picture of a robot on their schedule for the day. It vaguely registers in her mind, but she’s really trying to listen to the class expectations.
Rhodey knows full and well who he’s sitting by and says hi.
“Hi,” Tony says warily. “I’m...Tony.”
“Rhodey. You think this presentation is as stupid as I do?”
“God yes,” Tony whispers.
“What are you working on?”
“New robot,” Tony answers automatically. “Got some new ideas for arm fixtures, I just need to figure out how to make it bend more. I’m trying to model it after human anatomy, but my textbook hasn’t come in yet.”
“You need to move that over to the right,” Rhodey says, pointing to a rough-sketched line. “Normal muscle doesn’t move like that.”
Pepper looks over at them.
“What are you here for?” Rhodey asks. “I’m looking at their engineering classes.”
“Business,” Pepper says. “My name is Virginia. I really want to be a CEO.”
“Cool,” Tony says, smiling.
He doesn’t judge. Doesn’t tell her anything. Just says “cool.” And she’s not sure why that means so much, but it does.
“Please tell me we all have lunch together,” Tony pleads as they exit the auditorium. “I really don’t wanna be stuck with other people.”
Miracle of miracles, they compare schedules and realize they’re all in the same lunch and their last class of the day is the same: English.
Tony’s surprised that he’s made friends. Especially with two people. He’s really not quite sure what to do other than be nervous.
(Jarvis chokes on his biscotti. The most put-together man choked on his biscuit. Tony’s beyond nervous.)
Rhodey casually mentions that he has a new friend named Tony. His father accidentally drops the soup tureen and now has to go to Macy’s to buy his mama a new one.
“You better not treat him any differently,” mama scolds. “And be on your best behavior.”
“Aren’t I always?”
She smacks him over the head and mutters something about “not raising a damned fool, that’s what.”
Pepper mentions nothing to her parents because they’re demanding question after question and she knows that they think that she hasn’t seen the three different psychology books about “helping your child adjust.”
“Things are fine,” she says, picking at her chicken. “I have some people I’ve talked to.”
-
The three have no idea what’s going to happen with all three of them.
They do not know that they’re going to bond over a particularly disgusting textbook that’s in the back of the English classroom, or that they all will come to hate the song “Material Girl.”
Rhodey has no idea that these two will be his best friends for life. Tony with his confident smile and infectious personality, Pepper with her calculated decisions and soft smiles.
Tony doesn’t know how much he will depend on Pepper and Rhodey for love and support, how much he will stay at their house and plan out the apartment they get in college.
(Of course, after they convince Pepper’s parents that things are going to be fine.)
Pepper has no idea that yes, she will be putting that nickname on business cards. She will be accused of being CEO because Tony thinks she’s pretty. She will also laugh to herself when she remembers when she told herself that maybe she would move on from interning at SI.
They become closer through sleepovers and shared burgers and agonizing over how much to tip when at one point Tony lost his credit card and they only have Pepper’s twelve-dollar ring and three nickels from Rhodey’s back pocket.
Through tears and yelling and arguments that lasted for far too long. Through the hugs and kisses that came later, and through the giggles at anyone’s new partner.
Life was not supposed to happen the way it did. It drastically alters everything that’s going to happen.
(Rhodey and Pepper find out about Iron Man and realize what that means months earlier.
They also suit up way earlier because of it.)
They’re a family. And they won’t let go of each other, not for anything in the world.
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I truly appreciate your blog. Really useful. Female INTP here (enneagram 583, so people who don’t know cognitive functions think I’m an ENTJ). Have a very similar skill-set to you and am considering medicine, specifically surgery. I am interested in what made you decide that medicine wasn’t for you and how you transitioned to business and what makes it a better fit.
Related answers:
How might you go about figure out what job to pursue if you’re looking to accomplish the biggest things in the world?
How I selected my career
Would you have tips on refining one’s industry of interest ?
Thanks for visiting. Science and medicine will always be my first love but I decided a medical career personally wasn’t for me and transitioned to business. Some reasons include:
Love for the college subject =/= love for the career. Everyone repeat this 3 times in your minds, please. Science is infinitely more interesting to me as a subject matter which is why I was a science major in college and I have never majored in business– but not as career. As a career, I explored clinical research and patient care through college internships and they weren’t for me, I’m glad I figured it out in time because I was 2 mouse clicks away from enrolling into medical school. Inversely, you couldn’t pay me to study Business Administration, Finance, Economics, or Accounting in college but I was shocked how much I loved management consulting as a career. I loved the complex problems, the travel, the teamwork, the impact, the pace, the colleagues, the exit opportunities, etc. This is why I highly recommend shadowing people in your target profession because your perception of how things are in your mind can be very different than the day-to-day reality especially since you’re an intuitive type.
Lifestyle preferences. I wanted high flexibility over my time and my presence. Generally (disclaimer for people triggered by generalizations: not always), being a doctor requires physical presence in the hospital/medical office to see patients and to perform procedures. In my current role, I have the flexibility to work from anywhere in the world without interruption to my job as long as I have a stable internet connection or cellular reception. I can dial into meetings across the world with my laptop, review data from the comfort of my bed, fire off some recommendations, and have my junior associates implement.
Flexibility to change industries. I get bored easily, very easily, which is why I’ve transitioned from health care to life sciences to federal government to now big tech. I wanted the flexibility to move into new industries by having highly transferable skills.
Geographic flexibility. I can transfer to another country tomorrow without needing to navigate medical licenses, certifications, or approval. I can immediately practice my craft with flexibility once granted a visa. The wife and I have explored living in Singapore or Tokyo for a few years which isn’t difficult to do.
Leadership opportunities. More leadership opportunities in business than in medicine to run large organizations and implement change on a macro level. Doctors can absolutely transition into business leadership roles such as health care administration (running hospitals) but then it conflicts with their ability to see patients which to me is the point of getting a medical degree in the first place. A doctor that wants to pursue business leadership roles in health care administration should just go to business school instead and save 4+ years in medical school, 2+ years in residency, and $200,000+ in medical school debt.
Scale of impact. I have a strong preference for a 1 to many approach rather than a 1 to 1 approach when it comes to impact, I’d rather impact systems than individuals.
Speed of innovation. Technological innovation is faster than medical innovation and that’s understandable because medical innovation deals with lives so it requires more time, care, and caution. I don’t have the patience to wait 10+ years for a new medical innovation to be approved for testing. In Big Tech, we can plan, launch, and land a new product, application, or service in months. We’re playing with artificial intelligence, machine learning, virtual reality, and new technologies without the burden of dealing with complicated regulations and slow government bodies.
Revenue vs. Cost Center. This is a concept I’ve covered before here which impacts everything from personal compensation to project funding. In America, health care is generally viewed as a cost center instead of a revenue center so the focus is always on cutting expenses, reducing waste, and controlling spending. The focus is always inwards on how to make current systems better, more efficient, and cheaper without reducing quality– how to do more with less. It was a cycle of fighting with the insurance companies or government to get scarce funding that was tallied to the penny. I disliked that. Business is a revenue center, the focus is outwards on how to make new business lines and/or products, generate new accounts, and expand to new countries and markets– how to do more with more. Business tends to have more financial flexibility than health care to play with when it comes to innovation, projects, travel, and salaries. We can take more risks, fail with less severe consequences, and move faster because we have more money to play with.
The messy bureaucracy known as the United States health care system. I was a health care and life sciences management consultant for years, I became intimately familiar with this hot mess of a system and I didn’t want to be part of it.
Ultimately, remember that the purpose of this blog is not to endorse one career path over another. Business has its own set of bullshit but it was an overall better fit for my personality and my interests. This was the best choice for me, pick the path that’s best for you.
#college#university#medicine#medical school#doctor#surgeon#business#career#business school#careers#personal#intp#faq
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