#why your mind is repeating them
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batwynn · 4 months ago
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Pay attention to who’s voice it sounds like in your head that’s beating you down. Who’s calling you stupid? Who’s saying you’re worthless? Does it sound like someone in your past and/present? Does it sound like someone you trust or does it sound like someone who you can’t? Does it sound like someone who knows and loves you or does it sound like someone’s misinformed and doesn’t care? Does it sound like the voice of reason, or does it sound like a shitty little bully?
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lynne-monstr · 11 months ago
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it's like that trope of "didn't know we were dating" except it's "didn't know we were besties"
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romanticatheartt · 3 months ago
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You know when someone is only here to argue their repetitive anti shit while commenting on your "pro" post...
Did I asked for your opinion?
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samiferboy · 4 months ago
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got mentally socked in the face when I was on my fyp and saw someone post smth like "just wrote my first fic for <show>! here's the link!" and they had tagged the show and the characters like. no you're not supposed to do that you're supposed to write thousands and thousands of words of fic, tear your hair out over and over bc you're second guessing everything about it, and do that until you get drunk and post one (1) thing and not tag it well bc what if someone sees it and tells you you're bad and he wouldn't fucking say that, and then write more thousands of words and second guess everything even more, get intimidated by other ppl, and never upload again. did you not get the memo orrrrr
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bl00dh0rs3 · 2 years ago
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God. God. God. Holy fucking shit i love Avatar so fucking much
#horse.txt#im being so real right now it breaks my goddamn heart that so many people hate it on principle and go into it waiting to be disappointed#like. god. seriously? how do so few people seem to see the shit im seeing? how do people not GET its RIGHT THERE???#idk man im like. high and the hd release is out so it feels like Christmas but this shit has been on my mind and its at like a precipice#its one thing when ppl just aren't into it but the absolute LOATHING and DISDAIN people harbour for these movies is just. baffling#i cant understand it#i hate statistics. why did it have to pan out this way#how can anybody hate this production literally decades in the making? the fucking DEFINITION of a Passion Project?#the labour and love and inventive GENIUS that has gone into these films--and#you know what? the writing ISN'T that fucking awful. its not perfect because no movie is ever fucking perfect and sometimes you#have to give a script and characters breathing room. room to make mistakes!!! because this fucking obsession with#'characters dont have to be realistic!' is BULLSHIT. and NO saying that does not conflict with the idea that Characters=/=real ppl in#discourse!the ideas can fucking coexist! having realistic characters is GOOD its fucking GOOD when theyre stupid and do shit you dont like!#because thats what REAL PEOPLE DO thats what makes them fucking COMPELLING thats what youre SUPPOSED to let draw you in!!!!!!#but noooo no no no no keep repeating your smurf pocahontas jokes and roll your eyes at anyone who does like it like theyre stupid#because you can't be assed to give something a chance just because everyone Else is calling it stupid#and you dont want them to roll their eyes at /you/#i know this is dumb to be so heated about but im just. im sad man. im happy im having a great day!! but im sad#about how few people i can share it with yk..???
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dazzelmethat · 5 months ago
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*reaches out my hand and grabs you* I have the power to subject non vocaloid people to pinop..
TW: for flashing lights
Mushroom mother analysis in my tags. ..
#vocaloid#pinochiop#i saw this video link wasn't posted anywhere on tumblr and thought i should share#(i will be gendering protagonist as 'she' and writer as 'he' for simplicity)#anyway to me in my interpretation the song is written about specific person's reaction to mental illness/neurodivergence.#the fact that mushrooms are growing on heads is a reference to mushrooms only growing in darkness and-#-and is a common anime trope to imply that a character is depressed or a shut in (shimeji situation did this) (also a panel in ohshs)#there is this familiarity between the singer and who she is singing to (presumably the writer) like these are the words of a past lover..#making it feel like the pinop almost HATES the protagonist of this song. that he was called the one with the 'mushroom mother'#but it almost feels like that protagonist does become obsessed a little with the idea of not catching a mental illness from pinop#but then in their obsession of 'not catching it' they start exhibiting like a hypochondriac ocd but for mentalillnesses#the 'your mother is a mushroom mother' to me is a teasing (almost child like) jeer almost felt aimed at pinop/writer.#to imply that.. because his mother gave birth to him she's a mushroom mother. because he is a mushroom (like a yo mama joke)#in my mind the writer is insulting himself here. that the chorus is insulting him in that teasey child's tone#anyway later in the song the protagonist gets more paranoid about others spreading their emotional toxicity to her.#and in her sanitation attempt she winds up hurting other people (implied i think. because of the violence of setting mushrooms on fire)#eventually though I think she stops seeing mental illnesses as a flaw and instead of 100% hating she jumps to 100% loving them#tbh this interpretation is the shakiest part (because why would she put on a mushroom on her head in the end) (what does it mean??)#I think it means that she's embraced being allowed to be publicly mentally ill. and she takes that 'being allowed' as permission to be crue#the protagonist was cruel and toxic even before this transformation#then the writer.. in some perspective thinks about how in retrospect her actions were hollow#the writer surmises that living in that cycle would feel emotionally unfulfilling .. empty.#the writer here is coping with what was done to them in the past.. the person that hurt them enough to write this song#then now that she has those mushrooms growing on her head/is depressed and so the chorus of mushroom mother returns to poke fun at her#and in the end i think the writer joins in in that gloating chorus#The writer feels mixed on celebrating an 'ex' being confirmed as something he was for having#but there is also the celebration of being petty. and the franticness those sort of mixed emotions would give u..#and in the end the writer thinks that in the future that the world will keep changing on it's view on the mentally ill#but because those ending lines are repeated twice i think he's implying that there is a cycle to it#that there is a resignation to the world moving and changing into something else but not getting totally better
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shmowder · 4 months ago
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just need to vent about the Olympics
#Saw the shittiest take saying “on top of the emotional distress on imane imagine how much in danger she is back home”#are you stupid? no seriously. are you stupid?#You think the entire goddamn country who sent here to the Olympics and the mena singing her praises didn't already know about the yx thing?#“oh i meant like bc of the trans allegations and yk”#literally go fuck yourself#don't make the cost of yout activism the demeaning of arab countries and painting us as savages#some of you are too comfortable showing your racism and ignorance under the guise of supporting queer identities#surprise surprise! us in those “barbaric uncivilised” countries don't go throwing people over roofs bc of trans allegations#Yes women can dress as manly as they want and hijab is never forced. Do you ever think before you speak??#Women like imane are welcomed and common in arab countries#the transphobes we have here are the same fucking ones you have in the west! how come yours is special and civilised terfs???#And stop calling her khalif for fucks sake. learn how arabic names work before butchering them with your ignorant self centered naming systm#Imane is her first name. Khalif is her FATHER'S first name. You're calling her by her father's first name NOT her last name#arabic names go with your first name first. father's first name second. grandpa firstname third then great grandpa THEN last name#call her imane and stop embarrassing yourself bc you're just calling her by a man's name. her father's#“trans allegations” as if our people take the west media seriously rather than a circus show at best. You're repeating old news.#And even if there were. People here are actually a community nurtured on kindness. even the most conservatives mind their business#We're raised on being a community. strangers are your brothers and sisters. Live and let live#But your goddamn media takes stories of religion extremist and paints ALL of us like that. and your tiny brain actually believes it#Hey! you know those gay stories on my blog you've been reading? They were written by a savage arab oh no!#They were written by someone who lives in those dangerous arabic countries! oh no!#You don't know our culture. You don't know our beliefs. You will never grasp our ideals bc they were weaved from kindness and helping others#So don't fucking talk shit about things you know NOTHING about. You don't know the queer arab struggles#the same bad apples you have there we have here. shitty people are shitty regardless of nationality#But actually we do have some etiquette and considerations for others here. We don't go throwing bricks at queen tourists do we?#So why would we do it to our own people you sad excuse of a human
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acourtofquestions · 5 months ago
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“Happy July 9th to those who celebrate” also known as “go cry in a corner Samlaena stans”😅😭because I don’t know about y’all but Last Kiss💜gets me🩶every🖤dang time☠️
#The Assassin’s Blade#The Assassin and the Empire#Sam Cortland#Celaena Sardothien#Samlaena#Aelin and Sam#Maasverse#Swifties#Last Kiss#July 9th#Speak Now TV#TOG series#TAB#I just miss him and them and her with him and before#songs that make me think of them cry over him & because it reminds me of fictional characters & asssociating characters with songs is danger#WHY DID IT END LIKE THIS#beloved#fangirl problems#WHY is it never I love you and ALWAYS I hate packing and THEN SHED LOVED SAM MORE THAN ANYONE ugh I blame booktok#I’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes and then QOS with her finding & wearing his shirts#all that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss never thought we’d have a last kiss#Hope it’s nice where you are😭😭😭 and then he says get up Celaena with a smile AGHHHHHHHHHHHH#I need to go read Rowaelin EoS and regain my sanity again#but then it’s like her and Rowan going to the grave with the pebbles#I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep “can I sleep tonight yes#don’t mind me just crying over Sam again like a true Rowaelin Stan because even Aelin cried over it too with Rowan and ugh this series#I blame booktok for the I am Sam Cortland and I am not afraid audio making me think of him worried over her yet relieved she isn’t there#he didn’t even get to die w her just knowing in relief & grief she wasn’t there cause she was safe & she’d be furious but she’d live#she trusted him & he failed but he didn’t fail her & she’d lose him but she’d live & it was f-Arobynn & every piece of it kills me on repeat
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drum-bot-brian · 1 year ago
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i hate it when people make it seem like sam had a good childhood bc dean kinda parented him! like obvy dean did but in the show hes clearly shown to be just a normal teenager who went on a bunch of dates too? he left sam im pluckys for like hours and sam was pretty severely neglected bc dean started hunting with john and leaving sam alone? like this isnt anti dean bc he was just doing teenager things and trying to spend time with his dad but we need to consider the fact that sam had a imaginary friend at like 12 bc he was so lonely and ran away when he was a kid bc he hated hunting (read john) so much! like sam would have known how hard it was to be a kid and he valued his studies a lot so it must have been bad for him to have run away. all those people he thought he was not taught how to hunt need to remember the fact that sam was given a gun when he was still scared of the dark. and even if he wasnt hunting do you thing john winchesters kid wouldnt know how to defend himself? also consider his heavens being when he got away from his home? his random thanksgiving when he was like 13 was better than any times he spent with his family basically
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taeyamayang · 2 years ago
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all these trials and tribulations are making me feel like a main character to an angst and slow burn plotless storyline
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robertsbarbie · 2 years ago
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god now i gotta take this makeup off and no one even fell in love with me 😔💔
#actually i think i made an enemy#but also there were close to half a million people at this rally#why is your kid seeing more important than me and my sister and other little kids seeing#like god this woman pissed me the fuck off im not usually confrontational but if my sister#wasn’t with me i would’ve lost it#like i literally took one picture of the stage set up AND PUT MY OHONE AWAY#and she repeated twice in such a nasty tone ‘well my kids are trying to see’ ‘we’ve been here all day’#first of all so i#have i so fuck off#second if your kids are taht small you should’ve taken them to the parade#third i did not utter a word to you in a brash or disrespectful manner and you are just chomping at the bit to be hateful#like even when people were trying to leave or walk by she’d go like ‘wow unbelievable’ like lady! there’s half a million people#here! it’s a crowd! shut up be normal!#it’s just like i don’t know how to say this but it’s about the community created and the memories#if you’re having such a bad time don’t show up! or show up prepared!! (they didn’t have chairs which honestly leads me to believe they got#there at like 11 or 12 lmao)#but also be a decent human and go ‘excuse me my kids are having a little difficulty seeing would you mind#not taking as many pictures’ (again took ONE) in a nice tone and i would be like#omg absolutely! and it could be a nice matter#at one point when we were leaving a mom bumped into me with her kids#and felt so bad about shoving me even though it kinda went with the territory and just made me#further angry at the first mom that oh no it’s not moms or kids it’s just this woman#eris: text
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himalayaan-flowers · 15 days ago
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#if i weren't an anti natalist at this point i wish my brother and his wife would have children#then i'd feel less bad about ending everything once my parents are no longer here#bc he'd have a new family#ughhhhhhhhhhh i've been here 28 years and i can't stand it i don't want another 50 years of this#it's so ridiculous there are people fighting for their lives and i just want to be dead#like i really truly want that#i don't want to get old and even worse looking#i don't want to “settle” into a miserable relationship#i don't want to spend another 50 years hating everything about myself and being jealous of others and working a boring job#trying to force myself to remember to eat and doing chores and being in physical pain and being told to be grateful things aren't worse#worrying about everyone else#feeling guilty for absolutely everything#just watching as everyone else lives their lives#there is nothing whatsoever that could possibly change my mind i'd always choose “no life” over this life#but i'm so TRAPPED#i know i'm a broken record but literally what else can i do but repeat myself#it's horrible having no way out bc you can't stand to cause your family pain#and then i think#am i actually THAT bad#because if i were totally heartless i wouldn't care right????#i would just do it without worrying about them#which makes me think i can't be completely devoid of compassion#so then why?????#it feels like i HAVE to be a bad person otherwise why would i be in this situation#even people in warzones have a will to live#i don't starve or live in a warzone#but people living in famine or through war STILL have the will to live???#i have none#i don't get it
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randomloverofmusic · 1 month ago
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......
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meejijis · 3 months ago
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"Why are all SK fans proshippers" Silence fetus
#text#mind you SK was released in a very different time period where fandoms back in the day were built different. freaks strived and#everyone back in the day followed fandom etiquette “ship and let ship” and “dont like dont read”. fandoms back in the old day were#peaceful and supported one another. ppl shipped anything and everyone and ppl minded their own business in the early 2000s#thats how almost all old sk veteran fans i know turn out to be what they are today#(ofc there are some. other veteran folks i do not fuck with as theyre also genuine assholes and are hypocrites/ostracizes others.#. but another discussion for another day lol. you must be a level 100+ of friendship to unlock my tragic sk fan backstory)#also news flash all of your favorite anime/manga stories are all written by profic ppl! thats right! everyone in japan are profic#shocking i know#japanese folks dont give a flying rat ass when it comes to FICTIONAL morals because they know how to differentiate between fic and reality#the fact that so many antis keep on twisting the word proship so many times to the point where its widely misinterpreted and ppl#nowadays esp the younger gen easily believe in the misinformation and keep repeating the cycle of misinformation in modern fandoms today#it pisses me off honestly#but yeah what did you expected from a old series that came out in the late 90s. the fact that theyre consuming the series when the series#itself also literally has problematic elements too lol#and see this is why im glad SK is niche despite that i wish it was popular so it can bring in more renmei fans but in the end its better of#being niche#because had it blown up it wouldve attracted all of the chronically online kids/puritans/fandom police and ruin everything for everyone#modern fandom today is the reason why all fandoms suck nowadays and its why i gave up joining and being part of them#theres discrimination everywhere in modern fandoms. oh your a proshipper? gtfo DNI and kys!!!!11111#its like theres eggshells everywhere no matter where you go. you have to abide with morality and puritanical rules its the “automatic” law#but fuck that thats never been the automatic law in fandoms lol. Ship and let ship AND dont like dont read is the real fandom laws here lol#but back to what i want to also say. theres nothing you can do about SK fans being proshippers. the old fans has always operated that way#since the old times. either adapt / cope with it OR you can just. block everyone and preserve your peace. which takes like 10 seconds#this is like maybe the 15th SK puritan fan i know lol. then again i also know theres ALOT of renmei antis who follow the puritan mindset#imao. I say this alot many times but SK fandom is only ugly and almost everyone becomes a puritan when renmei gets mentioned#which has always made me ????????????????? so yall can handle yoyo boy and anna teen preg can handle serg getting groomed/manipulated#by marc and xes laws can handle kids getting their arms and legs ripped off can handle kids getting killed left and right#can handle shipping bruce lee whos like plenty years older than JUN which btw beginning of the series she starts off being 17#but a 4 year age gap between ren and jeanne is too much apparently and should be cancelled. geez louise
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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year ago
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Other Misc. Rambling Thoughts on the topic:
(~ !!!!!!!!! if you're just reblogging this post for the Poll section, please reblog the original post without this addition* lol. ~)
(*not that there's anything super personal or weird about the addition, just that it's meant to be kind of casual Side Commentary, not really part of the Main Point Of The Poll, so it would feel kind of weird for it to be emphasized by being included in reblogs unless the reblogs were explicitly about the side commentary, etc..... if that makes sense.. ANYWAY!)
It's neat to read the written descriptions that people are mentioning in the tags, since it's almost like I can see or conceptualize the idea as well, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING it.
Like for example: I can imagine a vase, it's a muted mint green and slightly translucent, elaborate golden birds sprawled down the side in streaks of thin rough watery paint, the base material shimmers gently in the light, there's a small chip where it's cracked on the handle, etc, etc. .. But as I'm thinking about this I see literally nothing.
It seems like perhaps some people can visualize an object first, and THEN describe what they see. But I sort of work backwards. I am building the object in my mind, I can never see it, but it's a collection of concepts. Rather than visualizing all details as a whole at once, I am adding each detail one by one, building onto the IDEA of the thing.
The vase doesn't have a crack on the handle because I just automatically visualized a vase with a crack. It was more that I cognitively understand the concept of a vase, what they tend to be made out of, how they tend to look and feel, the properties they have. So based purely on that knowledge, I can imagine "a chip is something that a vase could have, it would look this way and behave this way" - more like... I'm constructing a bullet point Fact List about the object rather than seeing it.
So if you tell me to imagine an object, I can, in a way, imagine that object in great detail, but it's just.. I'm not SEEING those details, more just knowing it's qualities in a purely conceptual way. Sometimes in the tags when people are like "yeah I can see the skin of the apple, texture, little dots on the surface" it's like… I can imagine that too, I can know it's there, but just with no visual attached.
I guess rather than SEEING something and going ''ah. I know what this looks like because I have seen it''. I more just skip that visual step entirely and go ''I know what this looks like, I just randomly have a list of information about the concept in my mind.'' etc. Maybe similar to how sometimes in dreams, even though a house may look completely different and be in an entirely fake 'dreamlike' environment, you just somehow KNOW intuitively that it's meant to be your childhood home or something. Even when it looks nothing like it in reality. There's a built-in base knowledge of the properties or information of some things within a dreaming mind, etc.
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This also makes me wonder about like.. how storytelling and myth is so important to cultures all across time. Or how this could tie also into concepts of religion.. etc. etc. If so many people really can kind of conjure these vivid images in their mind, then maybe that's part of why certain things are so meaningful to them? Like a "religious experience" being something you can actually really SEE/feel/lingering with you in your head, rather than just abstract words on a page, detached purely theoretical ideas, etc... hmmm
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Plus also just for average emotional stuff too, even outside of broader cultural conceptual attachments..
Like, I don't think there's a direct 1 to 1 link (obviously not all people with mental illnesses that significantly reduce their emotional or expressive capacity also MUST have aphantasia or vice versa), but it's interesting as someone who DOES also have a much more lessened emotional range/pretty flat affect/etc. etc. to think like.. Maybe I WOULD be more emotional, in a way, if I could have these vivid experiences..?
Perhaps memories would hold deeper significance if they could really stay with me vividly. Or storytelling would evoke more of a deep emotional reaction to me if I could really picture and feel the things that are going on. If things were more TANGIBLE in my brain, rather than always merely conceptual highly abstracted ideas.
Kind of like, it's probably easier to get over the death of a pet or something, if after not seeing them for an hour you already don't remember what they looked like (beyond just a vague fact list of traits), and you have no vivid memories or mental reminders of them (beyond just factual information stores). COGNTIVIELY you can appreciate the idea of their absence, of course, you still miss them, but there's just no remaining visceral sensory ties. A very "out of sight, out of mind" sort of thing in terms of attachments, memories, emotions, etc. Maybe certain things are easier to "get over", when you're not having constant mental sensory reminders that occasionally rekindle your feelings about the event or etc.??
(like for example, maybe someone could remain angry about an argument longer if they could vividly replay it in their head over and over again. VS just like.. 'Yes I can factually recall the fact I had an argument, and I do have knowledge stored about what precisely was said, but any sort of sensory data such as sights/smells/feelings, etc. from the actual moment of the event are long gone and can never be conjured again in my mind." etc.)
Which again, I think lessened emotional permanence and image permanence in the mind are NOT inherently linked, can all be caused by different things for different people. And, since I can't visualize anything in my head, maybe I'm misunderstanding how it happens and the effect it may have on stuff like remembering things you miss or replaying arguments, etc. etc. But it's still a little interesting to think about, if they could influence each other to some degree.... :0c --
Lastly, It's also weird because I'm actually pretty good at estimating distance and spaces? I can quickly assemble furniture without an instruction manual, pretty easily have a concept of how much space a chair may take up in a room, how two mechanical parts might fit together - BUT, I am literally not actually visualizing anything. I cannot see 3D objects in my mind at ALL. It's like.. just based on the pure List Of Facts About Things Which I Have Observed.. I can intuitively go "oh this works like this/this is this size" just because.. I know it's that size. I don't have to see anything to know..?
But then on the other hand, I'm terrible at directions without a map (I guess because a 3d outdoor environment has WAY more complexity than like.. "Will this square fit into another square?"etc. lol ).
BUT, I also draw/sculpt/etc. entirely without references, and seem to do mostly okay at that..? Like.. I can't even remember the last time I actually used a reference or looked at anything whilst drawing. It's all muscle memory, and me just adjusting as I go until something "looks right" on paper, I never have a set image in my head (or external reference) before hand.. Hrmm....
AND.. I used to say that I had a photographic memory when I was younger, which I know NOW is not true (I always thought it was just an expression, not that people could literally see things in a photographic way). But what I was describing is, I do often associate information with imagery, just... without imagery....
Like "Oh, I know that I took my medicine earlier today because I have a distinct memory, a snapshot of a moment in time, of me rattling the pill bottle in my hands as I looked up at a stop sign while in the back seat of a car". When I say this, I can't ACTUALLY see/feel/hear a pill bottle, or vividly picture a stop sign, but it's more just a factual recall, of. Even though I don't see these things, I know they happened, the information of them happening (me hearing a sound and also looking at a stop sign at the same time) has been stored in my brain as a memory, a collection of linked facts. --
As for other senses, I cannot taste or feel anything in my head AT ALL.. wild that some people mention that. I mean, again, I can have a purely factual recall as if reading a textbook, knowing the information of 'X item typically has X texture, therefore I can imagine what it may be like to feel it' or 'X usually has this taste' etc. - but I can never actually experience those senses in any capacity in my mind alone. I would say audio is my strongest mental sense (maybe a 2.5 or 3 (if it were translated onto the above scale where 1 is most vivid and 5 is nothing)), then visual (4.5 at most, usually 5), and then taste and smell and such are just complete 5, absolutely nothing, I didn't even know people could experience taste or feeling just in their mind alone.. lol...
I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#repeat reblog#Hrmm.... this must be why you all like reading books so much lol… option 5.. so few of us…#Also I wonder if this is why I'm a more detail oriented writer. Like if I was making a story I would first have to plot out information#about the location. draw a map of the room the chararcters are in. sketch the characters. their outfits. do a lot of plotting and planning#about how the world and the setting works and what plants might be there and so on and so forth. Because I'm working#more from a factual knowledge base of like 'bullet point list of things I know about this setting/object/person/etc'#rather than actually just being able to see it in my mind. So to really conceptualize a person/place/thing - I have to build it#from the ground up conceptually. Gathering and organizing all the information about it until I have a Full Mental Concept of it - and THEN#I can work with it from there. But maybe someone who just Pictures all that in their brain from the beginning can kind of skip that step.#Like for example I literally have NO idea what any of my characters look like until I draw them. I have to actively decide what they look#like and think about all of those details and create the List Of Factual Information (black hair. green eyes. this tall. etc.) from scratch#. where the friend I talked to on the phone recently said that they literally just like... picture the character. like they just SEE them#doing stuff and know from there. And of course i have an IDEA of what I may want a characters appearnce to be or properties that would suit#them based on their Concept and Personality. but I literally do not know. And even when writing or thinking about characters doing things#I cannot visualize them no matter how hard I try. It's all theoretical factual recall for me. Also my friend said that to THEM the saying#''the characters write themselves'' was interpreted to mean.. they can literally sit down & watch the characters do things and it's as#if they are just creating a story in their mind from thin air. it writes itself. Where for ME I have always interpreted it to mean ''I have#undertaken the process of analyzing and plotting every detail of this character SO deeply that I know them SO well down to even#how they would walk or hold a pencil. and thus because I have such an intimate understanding of every intricacy of their personality. It's#extremely easy to just Put Them Into A Situation and assume exactly how they'd react/ exactly what they'd say because based#on what has factually been determined about them and their personality/worldview/etc. it's just.. literally automatic. The same way that#if you knew a friend's preferences extremely well you could probably easily predict how they'd respond to a birthday gift'' etc.#hmm.. ANYWAY... Which my friend may be an extreme example. I feel like it'd be obvious even for writers without aphantasia to STILL sit#down and plot out details & intimately understand their characters/setting/etc. But the idea that for ANYONE it's like ''yeah I dont have t#think much about designing the layout of a room/place/etc. I just kind of SEE it in my mind and know automatically''.... wild... lol#It makes it seem like I'm always having to do like 500 tons of extra work that other people can just skip .. oughh#''well after writing them for a YEAR and fully conceptualizing their personality and going through 15 sketch drafts. i have FINALLY#decided on an appearance for my character'' ... ''erm.. i have been seeing my character since day 1.. what do you mean?'' ... lol#ANYWAY.. and thank you to those who have sent in asks abt your experiences.. very inchresting.. sorry not posting/responding yet since im#still a bit sick feeling and energy is very scattered/low social ability/etc... even this post i typed over the course of days lol..
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gatun-gatunesco · 10 months ago
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#i had an accident on the motorcycle again#this time i lost the whole front wheel#of course is totally useless in that state#it have more broken things but the important part that allow me to drive is trash now#i am not better myself tho#even so non of my bones are broken and i can still walk (with a lot of pain and really slow but i can)#but losing my vehicle is also losing my job. losing money in all fronts and cutting my possibilities for saving#yet what strikes my mind was the duality of the situation when i was laying in the floor with the motorcycle on my back#i could not move even when i really tried. and i thought “why is this happening again? why is worse than the last time”#when people came to help i felt joy. pretty much like the first time. somebody remove the vehicle from my body#same as the first time. i used all my charisma to make them recognize i am a paramedic and that i know what to do#but not matter how many times i repeated myself; they just could not believe i was alone#will your family came for you? i live alone they can not. there is someone in your house? no i live by myself.#what about insurance? i do my payments so no. somebody of your family that is close? they are in another state so no#but at least there is somebody in your house? i told you that i live by myself. do you have a wife right? No. not even a girlfriend? No!#i do not even have pets! i am telling you i am alone!#and the look on they faces was somehow more painful in that moment that my own wounds#luckily there was more strangers that came to help me. i asked for my phone so i could call my parents to at least let them know#and then more and more people came and helped me in a lot of things. i was not truly alone. just not in the way they expected#with all that helped i am on my house again. the broken motorcycle is save inside. and my hurted body is resting#of course i would not force it to do anything. nor that the pain will allow me even if i wish#vent post#tw vent
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