#why you cooking in there blood
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Fallen heir of gold 🍂
#did i cook chat?#i am sorry to everyone waiting on twink godrick#i just couldn’t do it so i opted for twunk instead#godrick the grafting#godrick committing twink suicide#elden ring#godrick the golden#godrick the grafted#why did no one tell me how hard rendering gold is#gore tw#blood tw#fallen angel#fallen angel godrick#my godrick is IMMUNE from male pattern baldness#also shout out to tarnussy lol#i couldn’t have done it without you
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me, looking at the most toxic, awful, horrendously unhealthy fictional relationship in the world: why can't i have what they have? :(
#remind me of how easily you could kill me then say i won't die until you let me#you insult me and I'll insult you and we'll both know each other so unfathomably well that every word is a finely tuned blade#we'll kiss and you'll draw blood and I'll think of you every time i feel the bite mark#in every universe we find each other and we hate each other and we want each other more than we can say through words#tell the world i'm yours while i glower with reverent loathing#every conversation we have is poison#we twist and distort each other until there's nothing left but two shattered halves of a one way mirror#I'll hold you tightly like you're the only thing that matters#we'll slowly settle into a sort of rancid dependent domesticity#and set out to ruin each other until even those jagged shards turn to dust#(apologies reader of these tags#the “you��� i'm referencing isn't referring to you personally#or you generally#i'm just cooking up more motivation to write sdhdjshdj)#(oh! also- please note the use of FICTIONAL#this is all just imagination loll)#why yes this is about#toxic old man yaoi#however did u guess#also just general#toxic yaoi#toxic yuri#but ykkkk#I watched one too many animatics#billford#hahahaaa who said thatttt not meeee hahaaaa#they ruined me#oh also-#pureshadow
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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skyglow:
(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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the thing about hotd is that it's very smart of them to instead make it a clash between rhaenyra and alicent because absolutely no one would have actually seen aegon II the dogshit and actually wanted him so they had to actually conscript olivia cooke to do some intense love/hate lesbianism pining 600k hurt no comfort for the show to actually sell
#hotd#olivia cooke#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#hotd alicent#this is just my hot take by the way#reading fire and blood...georg tries so hard to make the greens likeable and entirely fails#I was fully on rhaenyra's side#The only qualifications for Aegon II is that he's a man#They both suck at ruling and politics though#they also probably included alicent because she's the only one with a decent head for politics other than her dad and he sucks#alicent#helaena and probably daeron are the only likeable greens#and daeron doesn't even exist. it's very likely they'll write him out because he does very little overall#he just fumbles about in the reach and then dies#I don't know why people are so insistent on him being there#tessarion vs seasmoke is not very important and you can just focus on seasmoke v vermithor.
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HEARTBREAKING! i finally realize that not everyone else has the "shitsucking rapist" as their favorite way to write vampires.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#either they are Simply The Worst. or theyre just like. some guy.#i dont like the sexy vampire#mostly i just want them to get over themselves yaknow#like they spend so little time actually considering and focusing on the logistics of having to eat blood#that they end up indistinguishable from an evil superman story yaknow#like im not impressed. leave me alone.#i like them best as truly horrific monsters with a focus on the FOLKLORIC tradition and not the literary#but also i do love the variety of modern vampire that is Just Some Guy#which is why my vampires are like that#either they are an embodiment of evil or literally just as evil as any other random person#this is also why i like vampires as a disability method#ah yes. you too can prevent me from entering your house. by cooking the wrong food.#i too have a specialized diet which is difficult and painful to maintain and which i did not choose#i too have had people talk about me as if i was dead right in front of my fucking face#but anyhow. yeah i am the world's biggest hater of the sexy vampire trope.
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i do think you could still do blood & cheese well even without maelor but this was NOT the way to do it
#like you could've turned it into a gender thing with the twins instead of age i guess?#and why are you wasting olivia cooke's talent on another sex scene instead of blood & cheese#hotd spoilers
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#barton whenever ANYONE he's romantically interested in sees him in his mask for the first time with his hair matted and he's actively-#spiraling 💀 JSJSJ like he really would be thinking 'well i mean... i can still cook amazing thing's + be supportive towards you my dear-#and isn't that the MOST important thing?' while he's vivisecting someone on his table in front of them with blood all over his hands-#and looking at this person like ' :D ' like EHHH idk barton. a majority of people might as he would call it find that... 'disagreeable' 🫠#(aka they are at least signing you up for therapy rn bc jesus christ why are you looking at them like that right now when you have#a whole freaking freezer full of unexplainable horrors that some people have been unfortunate enough to stumble upon AHHH)#man's is SO wack y'all and for what reasonnn#tw: mentions of vivisection.#tw: allusions to murder.
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No crafting update today, because I did a bunch of cleaning, ran some errands (had to mail some stuff and get a replacement headset for work because mine spontaneously separated into two pieces yesterday) and now I'm making chicken and dumplings for dinner So like, got a lot done, but absolutely none of it craft related and I'm really pushing my limits physical spoons-wise (in that my POTS is flaring up not in that I used all the actual spoons cooking lol) I have a really really cool art trade thing to show y'all but it has to wait until I can take photos, so that'll be later today or maybe tomorrow
#the person behind the yarn#crafting update#food mention#chicken and dumplings is perhaps an odd choice considering how hot it currently is outside#and the fact that the AC is not working correctly in my house#but my dad asked for it for fathers day#so...chicken and dumplings it is!#I just looked at the thermostat and it's 80 in my house right now I no longer feel even slightly bad#about hitting the metaphorical wall so hard pots-wise#because this morning I was feeling GREAT and I was like I can DO THINGS I will CLEAN THE WHOLE HOUSE#and then I got back from shopping and was like I will...sit down#sitting down is what I will do until cooking time#and I didn't know why but it's 80 inside!!#and like yeah 80 isn't thaaaat hot but I am very very sensitive to heat. anything over 76 I start wilting#well okay with my new meds I can actually tolerate up to like 78 most days#but 80 is Too Hot#for anyone new confused as to why I don't tolerate heat when it's not really that hot: I have salt wasting syndrome and POTS#heat is a dilates blood vessels (bad for POTS) and makes you sweat (losing even more salt)#I visibly wilt like a dramatic houseplant lol
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just found out that instead of my mom my fucking shitass dad is coming home FOR A WEEK
#ugh i really want to kill someone rn im so mad#why can't he just fucking leave us alone#i know he used to be home 24/7/365 days just a year ago but istg it took us no time to adjust to life without him#now he comes home for like 2 days and my blood starts to boil i can't bear him he's so fucking irritating and interfering#mom coming home would have been relaxing finally burden free after 15 days#now the burden will be double tripled he's such a fucking lazy slob he can't even get his own glass of water#and he'll sleep in our room because it has ac UGHHHHHHHJHH it's so yuck i won't have a minute to myself and my mental health will decline#even MORE than it already has like if that's even possible#and he doesn't take his fucking meds so he's all weak and sick and lazy and he expects us to coddle him#well you know what fuck him im not even going to pretend to be happy that he's here or be nice to him and try to make him feel welcome#he broke this family up and it's going to stay broken up forever so fuck himmmm#and i have a freaking 750 ml bottle of vodka lying in my dresser what the fuck do i do with it now huh?????#it's only like 1/4th empty 3/4th is still full#and it's my sisters birthday on 26th and they'll both be here ugh i was sooo looking forward to actually celebrating with her#now she'll feel miserable and horrible and it'll be JUST like every other birthday she's spent at home#fucking grand#ugh god i sooo do not want to cook dinner for 4 people im so sick of this#and he isn't even satisfied with dinner he fucking eats like 4 times a day he wants a hot breakfast and lunch and evening snack and dinner#man i hope something happens to him and he isn't able to come🙏🙏 god if you're real 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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It's still so ridiculous how now they want to play (again) as the logical ones with their bullshit about Elain being fictional and how weirdly protected she is by fans when it's coming from the same folks not admitting any of Lucien wrongdoings INCLUDING the ones he did to her and mind you he's an old ass fae with hair in his balls but somehow this girl could make him kill himself by saying no then gwynriels want to pretend they haven't cried a river of blood and tears for the mere mention of Gwyn lightsinger abilities the author herself approved the theory of like?? how can any of them want to be taken seriously at all after the mess they decided to make first than anyone else el oh el...
#elain archeron#elriel#pro elain#like sure people do exaggerate but with her is for a fucking reason. and its none of you are rather normal nor kind about said character#if all she does is cry garden and cook then why are you so mad huh#why does she makes your blood boil to the point of wanting her death and doxing people over it huh......?
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Cap'n : *sigh...*
Sweet : what?
Cap'n : nothing..
Sweet : you don't like the food?
Cap'n : I love the pepper steak and mashed potatoes with wine like it's one of the classic expensive food! but ironically I miss eating rice with only sugar so much right now.
Sweet : ????@%^&!%&&*(#&(?!!?!?
#[records]#Scc#Sweet#Cap'n#only filipinos could understand this about why rice and sugar is a good meal#yeh Cap'n likes expensive stuff like he dreamed of but he miss what he used to eat too#some common humans miss the old days we used to be broke and do cheap budget but still enjoyed simple life what god has already given us#and when you reached to the point you're successful like you dreamed of. you miss those times were so simple#Brothers Blood au#<- scc are not the brothers. Mark and Seren are. the scc are also main characters here as Mark's bandmates#Cap'n could still enjoy rice from other countries but he'd love it more when it's imported from the Philippines itself#sadly Cap'n doesn't know how to cook so he needed K_K and Sweet's help for it (he's lucky he got his mom's recipes)#imagine he goes to every fast food chain jollibee they pass by#I want to give Cap'n some more backstories (like his dad has another family aka he has step-siblings and stepmother)#and Cap'n did all his best to get better income for himself (because his mother sadly passed away before he moved out)
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absolutely crazy to me that sometimes you can read a book and feel kinda ehh about it and discover that it's still living in your head rent free decades later
#looking at you YA novel 'Flipped'#thought it was kinda mid when I read it back in middle school but#here I am almost 20 years later thinking about it every time I buy or cook eggs#HE THREW! AWAY! HER EGGS! THAT SHE GAVE HIM! FROM HER OWN CHICKENS!#and the audacity raises my blood pressure to this day#supreme 'why are men like this' moments
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i'm workin on sami's lore post as we speak but i got a lot of miscellaneous and unorganized thoughts pertaining to her that absolutely do not belong anywhere except the Sapphic Brainworms Containment Zone (right here). also strategically posting this late into the night so the normans that follow me are less likely to see it (it is a tiny bit embarrassing sorry)
#you might know by now that sapphic brainworms is kinda just code for anything i put out there with even a hint of hornyness#because this shit is still very new to me and i feel bad about it go figure. anyways back to the actual brainworms#SO#even after everything she still enjoys desire's attempts to boss her around. she contains multitudes#i think she's vers/switch#i say 'think' bc i haven't given it thought until now. give me a break ok#the whole 'hole that bites' thing is tricky to work around but it's doable if ur willing to lose some blood#yknow thats why desire has all those scars on her fingers SORRY SORRY i had to put it out there#it's bloody in general w/ her i feel. yuri with blood top ten best things in the world#they still sleep next to each other a lot of the time. sami will enter desire's room and just plop down next to her at like midnight#and they'll wake up basically on top of one another it's cute#sometimes they'll cook dinner together and it'll make you forget they're epically divorced#idk where this post is going tbh#but i will be brave about it and allow this post to be reblogged#this one just barely escaped being posted on alt but i think it deserves to breach containment#samiposting#desireposting#txt
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"only other Hawaiians ever make me feel not Hawaiian enough--"
"Hawaiians from the islands are racist--"
"Hawaiians from the mainland have REAL aloha spirit everyone up here is just Hawaiian, no matter how much blood you got--"
okay but you understand that every single portion of what you just said is rooted in colonialism&the attempted murder of our people+culture, right. like you GET why kānaka from the islands have to be so protective of things as they are on the frontlines watching both our culture&our land get chunked for the proft of those who have no right to any of it, right. like you KNOW that hawaiian homelands requires a 50% blood quota to even get on the list&a 25% quota from anyone you leave that land to post mortem, &that the list is STILL decades long because the vast majority of the homeless kānaka back home MEET that requirement, right-- that the homeless demographic in the islands has the largest percentage of us left in one grouping in the world&it isn't surprising the families who maintained a higher blood percentage are also too poor to leave the islands even while dying on the streets, right. like you are CAPABLE of conceptualizing what all of that would do when confronted with someone from the diaspora who "doesn't understand why the aloha spirit is dead in the islands". right. like you can SEE&HEAR how it sounds when you say the nonhawaiian people&legacy of the colonizers that tried to obliterate your ancestors are the only ones who make you feel hawaiian now that they as a group have successfully taken up the primary position on what makes a good hawaiian. right. like you KNOW why there's even a push to properly exemplify kānaka maoli after literally hundreds of years of our people having to save us from cultural obliteration, &that the push to be a "real hawaiian" definitely didn't start with us, the people who you are trying to reconnect to&identify with. right.
like, i get feeling like the expectations are too high-- there isn't any right way to be kānaka, &there are most definitely kānaka who are shitty about that-- but coming back with, "BUT THE HAOLES VALIDATE MY HAWAIIAN-NESS" is just fucking WILD, like i don't know how to explain to you the haoles thinking they have a right to validate fucking anything in relation to us&our struggle&our people is just...
blood doesn't matter, but obviously not in the way you seem to think, lmao.
#OOF these conversations never get any easier.#my heart BLEEDS for the family that deny themselves like this but im constantly having to accept that im not the right person to help lmao.#i absolutely know what its like to not be hawaiian enough lmao. from both other hawaiians AND haoles.#my thing is that while it may be more insulting to have blood be shitty what exactly do you think you as a person are saying#when you take more issue w that than w haoles thinking they have a right to gauge your relation to blood&culture?#why is THEIR ignorance something to be handwaved but from US&OUR expectations its a deadly sin#that justifies throwing us all under the bus&turning your back on the ppl you claim to be apart of?#of COURSE the haoles think your '''aloha spirit' is the real kine its the kine that accepts THEM w no expectations LMAO.#of COURSE the haoles think youre a '''good''' hawaiian-- are you NOT EMBARASSED about that?#like how can you possibly be so fucking deaf to the words coming out of your mouth i dont fucking understand.#arguing w US is more productive than learning from your kin&hearing what we have to say??? okay.#... for context someone i know was arguing that glofiying the murder of cooke contributes to savage stereotypes#associate w us&ultimately makes things more decisive by encouraging the idea that we're violent to any foreigners#&'''well i felt foreign the first time i went to see the islands bc thats how ppl made me feel&it wasnt fun for me'''#okay but why didnt you grow up where you were supposed to-- on those islands.#okay but why do you feel separated at all from a culture&ppl that are being forced more&more into the diaspora.#okay but why did you need to reconnect to us at all bc it wasnt any KANAKA who decided to fracture us all like this.#maybe instead of focusing on your own personal bad feelings you could put in a modicum of effort into understanding your kin#instead of rushing back to the open&loving haole arms who accept you as a REAL hawaiian bc us mean kanaks are being racist. :'(
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"proship DNI" my brother in Christ this is Dead Plate...
"proship DNI" my brother in Christ you are a Rick and Morty fan
#I saw 'proship DNI' on a vampire kink blog#like yeah nothing is more wholesome than a huge age gap. horrendous power play. literal predator/prey dynamics#yeah#and DeadPlate like Vincent KILLS RODY'S EX GIRLFRIEND#and SERVERS HER DEAD BODY TO HIM in the form of a fancy ass dish#in two of the four endings Vincent murders Rody in cold blood and then eats his corpse as a way of hopefully regaining his sense of taste#in another Rody stabs Vincent in the neck and decides to just. burn him alive.#like he only goes to get the cooking oil AFTER noticing that Vincent's eyes were still following him#and you can't even 'oh but I ship Rody and Manon' your way out of this#because Rody was SO OBSESSIVE he completely ignored the wishes of his ex to the point where the ONLY reason we found out#THAT SHE FUCKING DUMPED HIM is by VINCENT talking about it#he was so dismissive of this woman's desires that he whole ass acts like they are still together because his denial is that strong#the only way out is not shipping anyone but even then you obviously LIKE THE CHARACTERS#and if you can admit that you like the characters and that doesn't make you a horrible person...#then why is shipping different?
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