#why waste such limited time and energy on the whole thing when i'm so sure nothing good will come of it?

[jontheredrc]

Well, it's about that time again...and I'm sorry, but I feel like my head's been replaced with a big rock that's too heavy for my neck. I did get some sleep, but it doesn't feel like enough, plus I woke up with...you know, all the usual problems I have when I wake up. Everything else is going swimmingly with the new work schedule, except sleep, though again, if you're in the habit of reading these, you know that's been happening for awhile already...it's not the schedule's fault I'm tired. In fact, the schedule is working exactly as planned! I had a moment where my alarm went off and I wasn't able to get out of bed for an hour and a half. I...I don't remember falling back asleep, I remember the alarm going off and thinking that I needed to get up to use the bathroom, I remember struggling to rise--and by the time I did, I saw the clock on the stove in the kitchen on my way back out, and I was surprised by it. But these are the sorts of things I expect out of myself, which is why the alarm is set early to begin with. I know I have sleep problems and that my doctor will not help me. I have to accept these symptoms in my life and simply plan around them better. But man...these symptoms fucking suck. I see characters in stories waking up feeling refreshed, feeling a little yawn and a stretch, maybe, doing so well first thing in the morning...and I wish that were me.

Have a great day, everyone! Love you! 👋💕

[tpup]

Hey I hope that you are doing okay. That anon being an utter dickbag needs to just get a hobby that isn't bullying people. I hope that you are doing okay today. And hmm do you like cats?

sorry I answered all those asks, I hate seeing stuff like that on my dash I am just Worried im gonna get cyber stalked or some shit if I ignored them

Rambling because that's where my brain is rn

ahhh. sleepy day. saw my partner last night which was really nice and sweet, she needed a winter coat so we went thrifting & then went to an art thing together. it was super cold. talked and kissed and fucked in my car on a dark street. she's so sweet & it's wild that I'm dating at all considering how unwell I've been but she has been such an amazing part of my life since I met her.. I'm glad she has a spouse and a home and solid job and is financially okay. She's such a rock and so good to me and I don't have to worry about things with her. She is so understanding and proactively sweet and accommodating with my disability, it makes me cry whenever I think of it, I've never been shown that care in my life. My ex was so frustrated with my limitations and it's been incredibly healing for my self worth to see people can enjoy being with me even if I am so disabled.

I didn't know non monogamy would be something I like but the security in it is beautiful. Like, someone I love has multiple people who deeply love her and can be there for her in so many ways... there's less pressure to be each other's everything, so we can just enjoy each other in the ways we like to and lean on each other knowing it's not just two logs holding each other up but that there's a whole house. It's new to me.

I think I was up past 5 for some reason, im staying on a couch and the room is chilly anddd I have insomnia so it's always hard to sleep at night. Dragged my butt outside to move my car to avoid a parking ticket; have to move it pretty frequently which is rough. Actually bought a cane recently to make it a lil easier, bc mobility is super difficult but I can't afford to pay tickets just bc I .. can't move lol. moved car, came back inside, wanted to maybe go to the leather workshop to work on things I've been wanting to do for months but like most days I ended up passing out despite myself (while trying to respond to asks actually :P just fading out over and over, seeing my phone open to a half typed response, brain not retaining shit. I can't tell ya how many drafts I have- it's hard for me to get through any longer things without passing out at some point! It's so hard to get shit done. This is why I rarely get back to messages btw- I want to put proper brain power into conversations but I so so rarely have it, and also feel bad sending a message when I might have energy for one but know I'll be out afterwards. Not sure how to deal w it, just hoping I can get seen by a good neurologist soon who can help me with wtv tf is going on. Might be narcolepsy that's much worse than usual bc of stress and malnourishment and such!)

Woken up gently by friend, I was having nightmares. She's stressed out about personal stuff and has been really busy. One of the times I feel like I'm not a waste of space is when I get to help her destress.. just cuddle and pet her and massage the knots out of her back while she puts something calming on tv. Sometimes she'll talk about things and she seems to find what I say helpful. Sometimes we'll fuck til she's able to break out of ruminating on things & then she goes to sleep w her spouse. I like being a destress puppy. I wish I could do more to help out, I'm so used to earning my keep and showing gratitude by housekeeping or running errands, but I'm just at risk of fainting if I try that most of the time anymore. It sucks. It's hard accepting help and care when I can't reciprocate. I just exist and hope I'll be healthier and able to help others in the future.

-

I do like cats; the ones I grew up with were all feral ones my parents half took in so I'm used to being very wary of them lol. My favorite cat was okay with being pet a bit sometimes but mostly was a buddy who would go on hikes with me. Miss her a lot. I'd be out in the woods and she would just show up and walk with me for a while before vanishing again.

One of my favorite parts of couch surfing has been all the cats I get to meet... the people Im staying with now have some and they're so funny. Some cats are kinda yucky tbh I'm a bit of a germaphobe so idk if I could own my own cat or pet, but it's nice being able to watch little creatures go about their life.

I was actually typing something up about cats last night, must be in drafts lol. My partner wants to try petplay more and I was saying I simply don't know what dynamics involving a catgirl would be, and that i don't interact w cats much irl besides just letting them do their thing and try to avoid getting bitten which does not translate well into play! Puppies are intuitive, cats I have no clue

[vacuously-true]

I'm trying really hard to practice not having opinions about stuff that's not worth my time and energy.

I don't have enough information on that public issue to form an opinion and it is not worth my time or energy to research it and form an opinion when there are already experts working on it and journalists reporting expert findings.

We need to make this team decision but I don't actually have an opinion about it and I can see that other people do so how about y'all just sort it out and tell me the decision and I'll abide by it. If none of you have opinions on it or if you do and can't agree, sure I'm willing to think about it and come up with something if it's helpful, but unless you need me to I don't mind just not having a say in this one. It could make the decision easier to reach and I can do other stuff with my time.

Why do I need to have an opinion on pineapple on pizza or what counts as a sandwich or whatever. Who cares. I have other things to spend my time and energy and decision making points on. I don't enjoy being fake mad about stupid fake questions as much as I used to. Like sometimes it's still fun to have silly arguments but sometimes it's not and I'm just not gonna do it when I'm not in the mood anymore. Fake arguments get me for-real agitated and that spills over into whatever else I'm doing. No thank you.

Me having an opinion on that subject benefits no one. It is so far removed from me and the people I interact with and the people they interact with. It is so far removed from the realm of things I have the proximity to and resources to control. I cannot impact the situation. Having an opinion on this will not benefit anyone and will waste my time and energy. I am going to go think about something else now.

This needs done and actually I do kinda have an opinion about the best way to do it but I don't have the time or energy to do it myself so I'm going to ask someone else to do it and they may or may not do it the way I would have done it but they will do it fine and it will be done and that's what's important. And maybe they'll do it better than I would have. I don't actually know everything, even if I did have opinions on everything.

Et cetera

Like I'm just so stressed. And I don't need to be. I don't need to think about half the things I think about right now. Maybe more. There's so much pressure to have a Take on everything. I don't want to. The projects and causes I do contribute to regarding things I do have opinions about are better off when I focus on them and not on other stuff I cannot do anything about. I'm trying to stop being a perfectionist about, like, the whole world. Not everything needs my input. I don't need everything to be perfect, I don't need everything to be my idea of perfect.

I don't mean I don't care about stuff. Or that I am going to pretend not to have an opinion on like, human rights. I just mean I'm trying to be really careful about where I allocate my limited time and energy and decision making points. I just think I'm going to be able to do the most good when I focus on the things I know well enough to be informed about and make a difference in. I just think I'm going to feel less anxious if I just choose not to stress about some stuff I can't or won't actually do anything about. Like come on. I'm tired. I'm doing a lot. I don't care. I gotta let myself just not give a shit sometimes. It's hard but I really think I have to try it.

[vigilante-bardock]

Mission Kaishi

Orion's POV

"Damn it!" I screamed as I pulled out my beam saber. "You won't get away with this, Dion!" I was currently fighting Dion in my MSZ-010 ΖΖ Gundam while he was fighting in his XXXG-00W0 Wing Gundam Zero. He was presently kicking my rear in a Gundam battle.

Dion smiled wildly, "You're wrong Orion," He pressed a button in his cockpit, causing the mobile suit to pull the trigger. "I already have!" The beam cannon fired a bolt of energy, which tore through my ZZ Gundam, ending the battle.

"Match over," A computer voice spoke as the virtual dome disappeared, revealing that the whole battle was just a combat simulation. "Winner: Dion Mcfinnigan." I sighed as I looked at the results. Dion had won again. The replays showed where I went wrong and my overall performance score. My score was 89%.

"Man," I said to myself. "I was off by 11..."

"89% is very good, Orion," Dion commented, a smile forming on his face. "You're getting better every time." I smiled at that. Dion always helped me out when it came to these kinds of things. Like when I needed help with my math homework or when Ariel needed to pick out an outfit to wear for her date with her ex-boyfriend Koji Onishi.

"I'll never understand why people get so excited about this kind of thing." we heard a voice say behind us. Marinette stood there with a bored look, having been there the entire time. "This Gunpla Battle tournament seems like a huge waste of time."

"How long have you been standing there?" Dion inquired, getting tense a little. "The Gunpla club is off-limits to outsiders during Gunpla fights." I nodded in confirmation. Outsiders weren't welcomed during practice matches, due to possible distractions during a battle and the inaccurate data that came from it.

Marinette shrugged, "Door was unlocked, so I let myself in." She walked toward the table and looked at the battle simulator. "Preparing for this Gunpla tournament, I presume?" She asked, knowing full well why we were here.

"Yes," I replied, taking a step forward. "The Gunpla Battle Tournament is this Saturday, so we're getting ready for the big day when it arrives." It wasn't a lie. me, Ariel(She was currently putting together a new model after her RX-0 Unicorn Gundam 02 Banshee was accidentally destroyed in a match between her and Adrien's RX-78 Gundam.), and Dion were practicing like hell. "So why are you here?" I asked, knowing she wasn't here to talk about Gunpla.

"What?" she wondered a look of confusion on her face. "I can't get to know my classmates a little more?" Dion and I stood on guard at that. She was looking for information on us to categorize us into specific groups. She walked towards me and began to stroke my arm. I pulled away as soon as she did that.

"Not during a Gunpla match," I replied, standing next to Dion.

Marinette shrugged, "Fair enough," she began to walk out of the room before stopping in the doorway. "I was looking for Ariel," she said turning her head, "I was hoping she and I could have girl talk, I'm sure you understand." She turned away and left the club just as Alix and Nathaniel arrived.

"What was that?" Nathaniel asked, watching Marinette leave the room before looking at us.

"Pigtails wanted to know more about us," I replied, "My guess is because me, Ariel, and Dion don't fit into any categories she knows of." Dion scoffed as he sat down at a table and began adjusting his Gundam model. "She also claimed to be looking for Ariel," I continued, adjusting my own Gunpla model. "I don't know why but it's probably not a good reason."

Alix sighed before turning toward us. "It's exactly as it sounds," she explained, "she takes a new girl aside and tells them things only us gals know. That, and to stay away from Adrien Agreste..." She shook her head in disgust at that last mention.

"Let me guess," I said, "she has a huge crush on him and thinks she's the only one for him?"

Alix shook her head, "Try obsession," she corrected, causing all of us guys' eyes to widen in surprise. "She has a copy of his entire schedule and has this whole life planned together with him."

"Yikes..." I commented, becoming a little uneasy from hearing that.

Dion turned toward Nathaniel and Alix, "I think you wanted to show us something, so let's see it." Nathaniel nodded before pulling out his tablet and showing us what appeared to be a blog.

"Is that-?"

"The Autoblog," Alix finished, "It's like the Ladyblog but it follows you guys instead of Ladybug and Chat Noir." I looked at the screen with intrigue, filled with pictures and videos about us and random sightings of beings like us. "It launched around Evillustrator's appearance and has been gaining traction ever since."

I looked at Nathaniel and Alix, "Any idea who made it?" I asked, hoping they had some clue. Both shook their heads, earning a sigh from me. "Think it's Alya who made it?" I wondered.

"Alya kind of became an anti-mech supremacist after the whole Thunderking ordeal and the Decepticon invasion," was Nathaniel's reply. "The blogger prefers to make themselves anonymous, distorting their voice and wearing an Autobot mask when they show their face." He pulled up a video of someone who wore an oversized hoodie with curly brown hair and an Autobot mask on their face.

"Greetings, Autoblog viewers," the speaker began, voice distorted. "Today, we saw the Autobot known as Elita-1 in her altmode driving around Paris." Sure enough, there was a video of Ariel in her altmode driving. "One could argue that she had a nice drive. I think she is on patrol in case a crime happens, helping the Police Force, unlike Ladybug and Chat Noir, who can't even be bothered to help out the little man and would rather fight supervillains. On the other hand, the Autobots are more than willing to catch criminals while fighting the Decepticons."

"I haven't seen anything like this since my Grandpa used to watch videos hosted by some guy who would always say crap about boxers," I commented, still somewhat surprised by what I just saw. "That guy would always say crap like 'Canelo won't ever go up against GGG because he'd go dookie in his diaper if he did!'" Nathaniel and Alix shot a confused look at Dion upon hearing this, who nodded in confirmation. "Whoever they are," I began, pushing up my glasses and setting up the table for the next practice match. "They did their homework. Yesterday, the three of us drew straws to see who would go out on patrol. Ariel won and went on patrol." Alix looked at me confused before nodding her head in understanding.

"Should we do something about it?" Nathaniel asked, "This guy could be a problem for us in the future."

I shook my head, "No," I grabbed a chair and stacked it on another, "It'd be nice to have someone in the media to be on our side." Dion helped me stack some of the chairs as I spoke. "This guy is a fan and is going out of his way to make sure people know the truth about our intentions," I watched another video, this one about a potential love triangle, "...or something like that..." I trailed off. I turned toward the others. "Where's Ariel?" I asked, wondering where she was. "I thought she would be back by now..." I scratched my head as I looked around the room.

"Pigtails went to talk to Ariel, remember?" Dion replied. "We better go after Ariel, though," He remarked as he began to walk out of the room. "I'd sure hate to have a mess to clean up."

"Afraid that Marinette will make her cry?" Alix joked as we began walking down the hallway. Nathaniel briefly shook his head before whispering something into Alix's ear. Alix's eyes went wide as a look of realization dawned on her face. "Oh," she went, "You're afraid that Ariel will make Marinette cry?"

Ariel's POV

I was humming while on my way to the Gunpla club, holding my newly assembled GAT-X303 Aegis Gundam (My RX-0 Unicorn Gundam 02 Banshee was destroyed...) when I heard Marinette say my name. "Ariel!" I turned my head and saw her approach me. "I was looking for you!" She looked at what was in my hands and had a flash of disgust on her face before looking at me. "I wanted to talk to you alone. You know, girl to girl!" Her smile was too forced for my liking, clearly faked from what I could tell. I put my Gundam behind my back and pressed a button on my wrist, sending a silent signal that indicated where I was to my friends and family. (Courtesy of Nathaniel's creativity and a suggestion of Alix's. It sends out a noise that only we Autobots could hear, so no Decepticons were going to ambush us!)

"Cut the bullshit," I said, surprising her. "We both know why you wanted to talk to me." Marinette looked confused for a moment before she resorted to a scowl. She looked around us for a brief moment before looking at me.

"Not here," she whispered, "If you don't want to cause any trouble, then follow me..." I said nothing, following her into the empty classroom to have our little "girl-to-girl" chat. "You know why I wanted to talk to you?" she asked. "It's like I said," she continued. "girl-to-girl stuff and also..." She got up in my face and shot me the meanest glare she could muster. "Stay away from Adrien. He's mine." My eyes narrowed at that.

Oh, Prima...I thought, mentally rolling my eyes at that. She's a crazed fangirl...I chuckled at that. "Or what?" I asked. I had no intention of going after that snowflake, but it was refreshing to see her pissed off, especially after I heard that she insisted on referring to Dion as Daisuke.

"I'll make you and your friends' time here a living heck." She replied, her eyes having a murderous intent in them. That was cute. She didn't want to swear while trying to intimidate me. Unfortunately for her, I didn't have to swear to scare her.

"Heh," I went, silently at first, before losing it and going all out. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I laughed, causing Marinette to retreat from me as I held onto my sides. "THAT'S-HAHAHAHAHA!!" I wiped a tear from my eye as I regained my composure. "That's rich..." I looked back at Marinette, who looked somewhat afraid. My turn I thought, standing up. "You'll make our lives hell? That's cute."

"I mean it," Marinette said, trying to take back the conversation. "I could-"

I put a finger to her lips and made a shushing noise. "There's nothing you can do that will make our lives more of a living hell than it already was," I whispered. "Let me tell you what I'll do if you try to harm my friends or me in any way: I will personally make your life a living hell, I will make sure Adrien sees you for who you are and has a restraining order as he should when it comes to dealing with crazy chicks like you, and if you ever try to touch Orion without his consent, I will personally slam your head into the nearest wall and finish what Dion wouldn't dare do." I turned away before leaving. "By the way," I added, glaring at her from the corner of my eye.

"I have no personal interest in Adrien Agreste," I smiled, seeing her backed against the wall, eyes widened at me. "I have my eyes on another guy. Someone less flashy."

Dion's POV

"Achoo!"

We were on our way to Ariel's location when Orion suddenly sneezed. "Gesundheit," I commented. "Not getting a cold are we?" I asked in a joking tone.

He sniffed, "No, I feel like someone was talking about me just now."

"Maybe it was your twin sister," I teased. "You know how much she likes to brag about you."

"You have a twin sister?" Nathaniel asked, surprised by this revelation, which caused Orion to chuckle.

"Yeah," he replied as we kept walking, "Her full name is Pyra Magna Pax. Everyone either calls her Pyra or Pyra Magna," Both seemed confused at that. "Pyra is her first name," he explained as we got nearer to Ariel's signal. "Magna is her middle name, and Pax is our last name."

"So let me get this straight," Alix said, trying to clarify what she just heard, "Your name translates to 'Hunter of Peace' and Pyra's name means 'Great Flame of Peace?'" Orion nodded in response to that. "Your mom and dad had high standards for you guys," she whispered as we stopped near a classroom just as Ariel stepped out with a slight smirk on her face.

"What's got you so chipper?" I asked, somewhat surprised by Ariel.

"It was nothing," She replied, "Just had a little girl-to-girl chat with Marinette." Alix seemed to sigh at that, confusing the three of us guys, "So is the Gunpla tournament still on for Saturday?"

Cybertron

"So is the Gunpla Tournament still on for Saturday?" the recording of Ariel finished as Megatron's Elite 4 observed. Starscream, Soundwave, Shockwave, and Nightbird had been listening to the Autobots' conversation to gain intel via spying. They had deployed a Pretender, (a Cybertronian who took the term "Robots in Disguise" to the next level) and had them pose as a student at Francois Dupont, all in the hopes of deciphering the Autobots' secret identities. Not that they had any luck, as they didn't know the students on the screen were the Autobots.

"As far as I'm aware, yes." was Orion Pax's reply.

"This is so stupid!" Nightbird exclaimed, expressing her rage by throwing a Shuriken into a Vehicon's chest, which detonated upon contact with the unfortunate soldier. "Why are we wasting our time listening to children prattle about meaningless things such as these 'Gunpla Tournaments' and 'homework assignments?!" The other 3 Decepticons stayed silent while replaying the segment about Gunpla. Nightbird grew more annoyed, getting in Starscream's face. "We should be looking for the Autobots' secret identities!" She proceeded to slap Starscream in the face, only for him to catch her servo.

"Calm yourself, Nightbird," Shockwave remarked as he moved away from the screen turning toward the Caminen. "It is illogical to lash out at your fellow Decepticons."

"We are sitting on our afts doing nothing while my beloved is in recovery!" She growled, "Speaking of, why isn't he fully recovered yet?!" The other three sighed as they heard Nightbird get angry.

Soundwave took the initiative, "Lord Megatron's injuries at the hands of Optimus Prime require him to be completely rebuilt." He explained. "While he is currently stable, he is unable to move due to the modifications being done to him."

"Modifications that I gave no permission to have done to me, Soundwave!" A familiar voice commented, causing the 4 Decepticons to look at the unnamed 5th occupant.

Megatron, while conscious, was trapped in a healing tank as the medical drones kept picking at his frame, which had reduced his once fearsome appearance to a head and vital organs along with an endo-spine. He was able to speak due to a breathing apparatus connected to his mouth, to make sure none of the healing liquids entered his fuel pump and killed him.

Nightbird went to the tank and caressed it. "My love," she spoke in a soft voice. "As much as I despise your top lieutenants, they are right." Starscream looked at Shockwave and Soundwave, but neither gave him an answer to this. "The modifications were necessary to survive so that you may fight Optimus Prime and succeed." Megatron seemed to calm down at that, almost as if he was considering her words.

"Apologies, my little acid-waste azalea..." Megatron replied, his optics showing genuine remorse for his outburst. "I have been trapped in this tank for Solar Cycles now, and as a result, have little to no patience for anything."

Nightbird caressed the tank gently as she blew a kiss to Megatron. "Your apology is not needed, my sweet gladiator," she answered.

"My lusting ninja..." Megatron replied, seeming to become aroused despite healing.

"My dirty tyrant..."

"My number one fan..."

"My favorite leader..."

"My consort!"

"My Emperor of Destruction!"

"Get a pod, you two!" Starscream yelled, shocking both lovers to their senses. Megatron blushed, his embarrassment showing through the yellow liquid of the healing tank. Nightbird coughed.

"While that was out of line," Nightbird said, pulling out an energy fan to cool herself, "Thank you for reminding us that we are in a professional workplace, Lieutenant Starscream."

"Back to the matter at hand," Soundwave continued as if nothing had happened. "An analysis of this 'Gunpla Tournament ' has revealed the use of small figurines known as Gunpla, a combination of the words Gundam and Plastic, in small simulations of combat to see who has the better model." He displayed pictures of these events, humans of all sizes being in something like the VR Combat Simulator while showing the contestants' Gunpla fighting each other. Some could use different modes like themselves. Others could use special moves such as "Shining Finger" or "Proton Blaster".

"These Gundam are certainly interesting subjects," Shockwave commented as he observed the screen. "While most of these 'Mobile Suits' would be of little to no effect on Cybertronians if they were to combat us," He then summoned images of some of the source material, showing battles that shook the colonies or even the very planet they fought on, "It would be illogical to not at least consider them to be a venue of study, as most of the technology they depict in these pieces of media is possible to either recreate or imitate. We already have the weaponry and more used by these fictional mechs."

"Interesting..." Starscream noted. It was then he hatched an idea. "Lord Megatron," he began, causing the incapacitated warlord to glare at him. "If I may propose an idea to you?"

Megatron growled before acknowledging his second-in-command, "Speak, Starscream..." he droned on.

"If it would be alright to use some Vehicon Drones," He proposed, "I do believe we can create an army based on these fictional mechs by using some of the schematics that created these Gundam. We can use 3 drones as an experiment, and if it works, or at the least, provide some valuable tactical data, we can create more of them." Megatron thought hard about this. What would stop Starscream from using this idea against him in another possibly pathetic attempt to establish himself as the new leader?

It would be fragging hilarious as D-Void if he tried and failed... He mused to himself. "Very well Starscream," The warlord replied, giving his approval. "You may only use 3 Vehicons to make these 'Gundam' a reality." Starscream bowed in gratitude before looking at Shockwave.

"Shockwave," he ordered, "Select three Vehicons to undergo the reformatting process. Lord Megatron will select the Gundam they will be reformatted to..." Shockwave nodded, pressing some buttons and displaying multiple images of different Mobile Suits. The five Decepticons looked until their optics settled on a trio of certain Gundam.

"I like these three," Megatron cackled in his tube. "Their weaponry and combat statics show that they were designed for killing!" He turned his optics toward Shockwave. "Shockwave, use these schematics and apply them to 3 Vehicon Drones!" Shockwave nodded as he selected the three models Megatron had chosen.

"Time to complete will be in 3 Solar Cycles at the latest," Shockwave answered, pressing on the images as time screens popped up. " All we can do is wait."

"By those calculations, the three prototypes will be completed by the time Gunpla Tournament occurs," Soundwave noted, hearing 3 Vehicons screaming in pain as they were torn apart and rebuilt. "Should we wait until it is over to deploy them?"

"No," Nightbird replied as a smile crept from beneath her faceplate, "These humans wanted Gundam, so we'll give them some Gundam..."

Orion's POV

"One step, Two steps, 'bout to get ugly..." I murmured as I dodged some strikes from Alix's staff. "Thousand page wholesale," I continued, "never step to me," I stood on my left hand, spinning on it as I used my staff and feet to whack Alix. "Hit 'em with a tornado..." I jumped from the said tornado, my pants briefly exposing my underwear(I wear saggy pants). "Flash her panties!" I exclaimed in a burst of breath as I hopped back on my feet and swung my staff and hit Alix's feet, knocking her on her back. "Mask on, let's turn this into a frenzy!" I panted as Alix smiled, pleased by my performance.

"Not bad," she said, helping herself up. "You've gotten better." The five of us were inside an empty room back at the apartment, Alix having decided to see how good we were with combat. I still felt my nose throbbing due to my hesitancy from earlier.

"I want you to hit me with everything you got." Alix proclaimed as she dropped her backpack, "Don't hold back." I was somewhat hesitant about it."Be ready for anything."

"I dunno," I replied, a little unsure, "I was told to never strike at a-DOW!" I grabbed my nose as I fell to the floor, surprising everyone there. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" I screamed as I got up.

"I told you to be ready..." Alix remarked as she cracked her knuckles. "Cons won't hold back when you're fighting them. Besides," She swept my feet, causing me to land on my back. "I saw some female Decepticons fighting in the Paris Invasion, and they didn't hold back."

As I stood up, I heard Nathaniel whisper to Ariel, "I have never been more turned on by a display like that..." I saw a smirk on Alix's face as soon as he said that.

"Are you two sleeping with each other?" I asked, only to block a fist from Alix. "What is your role in this anyway?" I asked, only to be socked in the stomach.

"Nathaniel's Tech Support, right?" Alix inquired, pulling out a staff. "Think of me as some kind of fitness trainer, always trying to make you think on your feet." She threw a staff at me, which I caught with some effort. "To answer your first question, yes, but it's none of your business." I simply shrugged, thinking that was a fair answer. "Now, think fast!" She said, swinging the staff at me.

"Next up is Ariel after a short water break..." She commented, throwing a water bottle at me.

"Thanks," I said, drinking as I opened my phone and looked at the school news. What I saw was not pleasant.

"What the hell?!" I exclaimed, spitting out my water. "Oplita?!" I was scrolling through my phone and already people were showing lots of fanart of me and Ariel. "What the hell is that?!" Ariel and the others instantly looked at my phone.

"It appears to be a ship name for Optimus Prime and Elita-1..." Dion commented as we looked at the images.

"B-but," I'm Optimus Prime!" I replied, my face red. "And Ariel's Elita-1!"

"Can we even do that as Autobots?" Ariel inquired as she looked at the images on my phone. They were... creative, to be mild. Pictures of Ariel and me in extremely suggestive positions and using evocative language, some images of which were downright erotic.

"I-i'm not even sure whether to be offended or flattered by these pictures..." I trailed off, my face red as I saw how big they depicted my... blaster... was in these pictures.

"They got my nose wrong!" Ariel commented, looking at the pictures. "They got my chest size and everything else right, but why my nose? Is it because I'm that hard to draw?" I couldn't hear anything else as I lay in a corner curled up in a ball as everyone else saw the images on my phone.

"I just got another notification of a potential Akuma," Nathaniel commented as we suddenly got a beep on our phones. "Should we assume our positions and face them?" I looked at my phone for a moment before shaking my head.

"No," I replied, earning a surprised look from Alix and the others. "Our job is to fight the Decepticons and keep the Matrix safe from Ladybug and Chat Noir."

"Why aren't we helping them?" Ariel asked as I sat down and tied my shoes.

"If we were to help them out every time there was an Akuma, they would subconsciously start to rely on us," I replied. "It would make them sloppy if we were not around to help them." I grabbed my water bottle, "besides, the rules were pretty clear: only when there is nothing to do or if they deliberately ask for help." No sooner did I say that than we all got a notification that said the Akumatized Villain had been successfully dealt with.

"You were right." Dion commented, "They beat the guy without our help."

"I hoped they would," I said, pulling out my laptop and opening Word for an essay. "The Akuma was Mr. Pigeon." We all looked at each other before sighing.

Nathaniel shook his head, "I swear, that guy needs help..." to which we all nodded. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he has a pigeon fetish."

I was typing when I had a sudden flash in my head, triggering another Matrix Memory:

"Viktor." I turned my head and saw Mira Jaeger sitting next to me, "Still vorking on zat time-telling contraption, are ve?" I smiled at that, Mira was always one to support my work.

"Indeed," I replied, "I've been vorking on zis contraption for veeks now." I have been trying to create a machina to tell time. I have been trying to convince my tribe to move on from the sundial, which only worked when the sun was in the sky. "I haven't been able to make ze damn zing work!" I punched the clock (my name for the contraption) in a fit of frustration.

I was about to smash the clock when I heard running and saw my best friend Aldawolf come into the hut, his face a bright red. "You need to see zis!" He exclaimed trying to catch his breath. "Ze cave is glowing!" This earned him a surprised look from us. The cave Aldawolf was referring to was forbidden due to people entering and never coming out.

"Vhat?!" Mira and I said. We ran toward the cave and sure enough, it was glowing. It was glowing blue, but the most interesting part was what it was saying.

"Vector Prime..." It whispered to me... "Come..."

"-rion," I heard Ariel say, shaking my shoulder. "Yoohoo, Earth to Orion, you there?" Really close to my face. A little too close if you asked me.

I shook my head to refocus. "What is it, Ariel?" I pushed my glasses to show I was paying attention to her.

Ariel jerked her head toward the apartment door, "Dion and I going to grab a bite at the bakery that Adrien talked about. You joining us?" I was silent for a moment before smiling.

Nodding, I closed my laptop and joined them.

Ariel's POV

I didn't know what to expect but it wasn't this. The bakery was on a street corner and seemed to be a mashup of house and bakery. On it was written "Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisseri" 

It actually didn't look too bad. It was well-kept and in good order. When we entered, to the left was a collection of glass display cabinets, showcasing many treats. On top of the cabinets were small displays of baked bread, ready to sell. The floors were also ornately styled, with repeating designs of lilies and fleur-de-lis. To the right were more displays, and further along, I saw the register, with peels hanging from the ceiling above and a cast-iron oven in the background. Also in the back were various sacks of flour and a door leading to the rear exit (the residential street entrance) with stairs to what I assumed was their house.

"Welcome!" I heard an all too familiar voice say. I turned my head and saw Marinette at the counter, her back turned to us, clearly doing something.

"You've got to be kidding me..." I heard Dion whisper in Irish Gaelic to Orion, "She works here?"

"She probably lives here," Orion replied in Greek, "Tread carefully, gang..."

"So what do you want-," Marinette paused as soon as she saw us, a brief scowl appearing on her face. "Oh," she went, somewhat surprised, "It's you guys..."

"Hello to you too, Pigtails," I said, giving her Orion's nickname for her. "We're here to order some sweets. I heard the best were sold here." I had a small smile on my face, unnoticeable to everyone except for Marinette. "What do you recommend?" Despite our... little skirmish, I was more than willing to be forgiving toward her. I understood completely where she was coming from, but I felt that she was going the wrong way about it.

If she did that again though, then I wouldn't be responsible for what happened to her next.

Marinette said nothing at first, instead studying the three of us as if she was trying to see something wrong with each of us. "I would personally recommend the macaroons, mainly because they are our piece de resistance." She pointed at a gallery containing macaroons of various colors." I stood at the gallery casing and examined the sweets in it. I stared at it until I blinked, which caused something strange to appear in my eye: an alien language appearing which began to scan the pastries in front of me. A circle suddenly appeared in my vision and focused on a pink macaroon, revealing what it was made of and how much the recommended consumption should be.

What the hell?! I thought as I backed away, holding a hand to my eye. I blinked again, this time my vision was back to normal.

"You okay, Ariel?" I heard Orion ask. "You look a little pale." I shook my head and reassure him I was fine.

"I would like a bag of croissants and a couple of macaroons please," I said, trying to play it off. Marinette raised an eyebrow at me before shrugging as she completed my order. Once we had paid for the sweets and began heading towards the apartment did Orion say something unusual.

"Whoa," He went, taking his glasses off and then checking them.

"What is it?" Dion inquired as he looked at Orion.

"My eyes," Orion responded as he adjusted his glasses. "I blinked for a moment and then I suddenly had the vision of a robot. Like from that Brave live-action movie Series directed by Thomas Astruc?"

I shuddered at that name, "Please do not bring up that garbage..." I begged, "What the hell were they thinking making Astruc the director? I swear, that guy has a magical girl fetish!"

"It didn't help that he supposedly based Samantha Astray after his imaginary daughter that he created for his ex-girlfriend at the time..." Orion murmured as he took a bite of his croissant. "In any case, that robot scan was weird..."

"It's probably nothing to worry about," Dion remarked, "At most, it's a side effect of being the Kuriēshon matorikusu holders." We had already reached the apartment by then and entered, ready for whatever came next.

Dion's POV

When we entered the apartment we saw Nathaniel and Alix looking over a pair of drawings. "What's up?" Orion asked, "You guys look like you're having some trouble with something." Alix looked at him and then at Nathaniel, who nodded.

"Nathaniel wanted to make sure that you guys were planning to attend the Tournament all day." She said, "Nathaniel and I wanted to have the apartment to ourselves so we could-"

Ariel put her hand up to stop Alix, "It's Nathaniel's apartment, so he can do whatever he wants with it." Nathaniel seemed to be relieved until Ariel continued, "If you guys want to continue your little roleplay together, then do it. No one's gonna stop you."

Alix had a look on her face that seemed confused while Nathaniel kept blushing.

Cybertron, 5 days later

"Updates complete," Shockwave remarked, "Decepticon Gundam Prototypes online, releasing all three..."

All three Gundam emerged from the pods, steam hissing from them as they stepped out, experiencing their new bodies for the first time "Starting Quantum Catalyst," the middle one said, "Power Core satisfactory."

"All armaments active..." another spoke, "All weapons weapons free...."

"System operating at full combat status..." a feminine voice spoke softly.

"For crying out loud..." Starscream growled as he looked at the three Gundam, "SHOCKWAVE JUST FINISHED PATCHING THAT!" Soundwave, Nightbird, Shockwave, and Megatron said nothing as they watched it unfold.

The Gundam shrugged, "You can't fix what ain't broke." The three Destron Gundam turned at the Elite 4 and Megatron. "Now... where's our beam cannons and sabers?" Mechanical Claws appeared and gave each former Vehicon their weapons.

"Your mission is to find and destroy the Autobots," Megatron replied from within his cryo tank, "Leave no hope of survival!" The three Destron Gundams kneeled before their incapacitated lead and then left towards the space bridge, transforming into their new alt modes to test them out. Megatron turned toward Shockwave when they were out of earshot. "I take it that you installed some failsafe inside of them in case they go rogue?" He asked the mad scientist, who could only nod in response.

Orion's POV

The Gunpla Tournament had finally come and we were beyond excited. So excited that I almost left the apartment without my pants. That was nothing compared to Ariel, though. She had run out of the apartment with no shirt or bra, so a lot of guys (and jealous girls) were sent to the hospital after seeing her chest exposed.

My genetically perverted side was desperately trying to claw its way out of my mind. Luckily, I shoved him back into the hellish abyss he had originated, so all was well. "Damn!" Alix commented as Ariel walked back while embarrassed, "What the hell do you do, girl?! I know half a dozen chicks that would kill to have a rack that big! Hell, I'm pretty sure even some of the female staff members at school would kill for a bod like that!"

Ariel was blushing as she put on her shirt, "I work out," she answered, "I also drink protein and have a history of women in my family having good size."

"She's not wrong," We heard Nathaniel say, "Most Kurtzberg women have big chests. Same thing with women who marry into the family." He looked at Alix and quickly turned red after noticing the look on her face, "N-not that having a small chest is a bad thing!"

Ariel simply chuckled as she patted Nathaniel's shoulder, "Relax, cuz!" she said, "Alix knows what ya meant by that."

"Moving on because this conversation is going nowhere," Dion commented, turning towards me and Ariel, "I trust you two have everything you need for the tournament?" We both nodded at that.

"I've got my MSZ-010 ΖΖ Gundam model for when I'm able to compete against someone," I began listing, pulling items out of my backpack. "My water bottle, filled with ice and cold water, money(for when we get hungry), notepads(in case we run into any voice actors or celebrities there), pens for those notepads, recreational money(for buying new model kits), Autobot morphers(for any Decepticons we encounter), and finally..." I began to grunt as I had a hard time pulling out the object from my backpack, "a spare set of clothes in case I end up getting soaked."

"My backpack isn't that packed but yeah," Ariel replied, "I got everything I need." We all looked at each other and nodded with grins on our faces, knowing what came next.

"Bye!" Nathaniel said as we hailed a taxi cab, "Have a good trip, try not to get into too much trouble!"

"That was a nice breakfast," Ariel commented as she patted her belly, "I thought I was going to burst from eating too much!" I chuckled at that as Dion shrugged.

"If ya keep eating like that," I replied, laughing. "You're gonna end up gaining weight." I got a sharp nudge from Dion, who was still reading his book.

Ariel's POV

When we got to the stadium, I was already feeling better after that comment Orion made. "That was a nice trip," I remarked happily. Now that we were here, we could finally enter the tournament and participate. Humming, I quickly skipped toward the stand where we signed up.

"Names?" The receptionist asked, who dressed up as a Federation officer. The three of us stood together and begin listing our names. "Team Name?" She asked.

"We're Phantom Pain!" I exclaimed proud of the series that it had originated from.

"Gundam Seed Destiny fans, I take it?" the receptionist asked with a smile on her face.

"You bet!" I replied with a smile on my face.

"Tournament participants will be called by number," she explained, "Here is a sample detailing the rules of Gundam fighting, where the facilities are, and what times the matches are supposed to happen."

"Got it!" I exclaimed as I grabbed our pamphlets. "Thank you!" I quickly zoomed back toward Orion and Dion. "These contain everything we need to know!" I said happily as I gave one to both of them. "So what do we do first?"

"Well..." Orion began, "I would recommend that all-you-can-eat buffet that was mentioned here." he began drooling as he looked at the different dishes that were available. It wasn't until then that we saw a trio of very familiar faces in the crowd.

"Jackson Darby!" I heard Orion exclaim, getting his attention.

"Orion John Macedonio Pax!" Jack exclaimed happily, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Jack Darby was one of three people we met back in Jasper, Nevada while attending Anime Con. He and Orion met by accident when Orion saved Jack from being arrested after the latter was falsely accused of groping a girl who was dressed like Misaki Ayuzawa from Maid-sama(Jack was dressed as Junpei Iori from Persona 3). Orion himself was able to prove Jack's innocence after proving how he had recorded the whole thing and showed that the girl was the one trying to grope Jack.

Needless to say, Jack and Orion became quick friends, which surprised me because Dion and I thought that after a certain incident from Orion's past, he wouldn't want to be friends with anyone other than us again.

Although, if he was here, then that meant...

"Ariel, Dion, it's good to see you again." I heard a feminine voice say. I turned to see Miko Nakadai standing next to Rafael Esquivel.

"Hey guys," I replied, excited to see them again. "What're you doing here?" I asked.

"Miko here got us all volunteered to be exchange students," Jack explained as he looked at Miko. "We go to Frances DuPont what about you?"

"Get outta here!" I exclaimed, "We go there too! Who's your homeroom? We got Bustier."

"Jackson for us," Raf replied, "He gets a little crazy when someone mentions his time in the military..." Me, Orion, and Dion all nodded in agreement as a shiver ran down our spines.

"Have you guys run into Ladybug and Chat Noir?" I asked them.

Miko suddenly scowled at the thought. "Yeah," she replied, "The first thing that happened when we arrived was being attacked by something called an 'Akuma'," She turned to Raf, "Yo, Raf!" she exclaimed, getting the guy's attention, "What was that thing called?"

Raf sighed as he adjusted his glasses, "He was an akumatized villain, Miko." Miko snapped her fingers at him in recognition of the name.

"That's what it was!" Miko replied with a smile on her face. "Called himself D'Compose after that one villain from that old TV show. You know, 'The Inhumanoids'?"

"Smelled like his name, too..." Jack muttered as he rubbed his nose. "Anyway, We ended up defeating that guy, Ladybug, and Chat Noir came, dealt with the Akuma, and Ladybug proceeded to scold us for stopping him, and then she flirted with Raf and made some kind of sexual gesture towards him..."

"That sounds similar to what happened to us," I recalled, "Except it was a girl who called herself 'Sailor Galactica' and Ladybug flirted with Orion..." I scowled at the memory. Ladybug. I remembered thinking. More like Lustybug.

"Where are you guys staying at?" Dion asked, hoping to steer the conversation to a safe place. "We're staying with Ariel's cousin, Nathaniel."

"We're staying with Miko's aunt Tomoe and her daughter Kagami." Jack replied, "Kagami kind of looks like you Dion," He then showed a picture of the mentioned girl and showed her to us. Sure enough, she looked like a gender-swapped Dion with dark blue hair and shorter stature who wore formal clothing.

"I don't see it," Dion simply replied with an unamused look on his face.

She could pass off as your sister, Dion...I thought as I shot him a deadpan look in his direction. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and saw Orion standing behind me. He had a serious look on his face and a hand on his chest.

"What is it?" I asked in Hebrew, in the hopes that no one could understand us. "Is it a Decepticon attack?" Dion had noticed as well, telling Jack, Raf, and Miko that it was nice seeing them again and that maybe we could meet up at school sometime.

"The Matrix..." He groaned, speaking Greek as we helped him sit down, "When I started talking to Jack, it started to react, almost as if it was trying to tell me something about Jack."

"Was it bad?" Dion asked in Irish Gaelic, hoping that no one would listen in.

"No..." Orion's answer, "It's more like, it senses great potential in him. Not a Prime, but something like it..." Suddenly, his eyes went blank as he slumped against the wall.

We stared at Orion with concerned looks on our faces. "Is he-?" I wondered as Dion took his pulse.

"If I had to guess," Dion surmised, "Orion's going through another Matrix Experience" He stood up, and turned toward me, "At the least, it's nothing to worry about..." Suddenly, Orion's eyes went back to normal, putting a hand to his head as he shook it.

"That was something..." He commented as he slowly got up. "This time it was a Titan of all things..."

I was about to ask what it was when an alarm blared across the arena, indicating that something was wrong.

"Where's it coming from?" I hear one attendee ask.

"Entrance 6?!" A staff member exclaimed. Suddenly, a large purple beam shot into the stadium and hit the Gundam Epyon, Zaku II, and Zeta Gundam statues, blowing them up and falling on people.

"What the hell's going on here?!" I heard Jack exclaim, as a beam hit near us, causing Orion to throw himself on top of me.

"You okay?" he asked, concern written all over his face. While his concern for me was nice, he was unknowingly squeezing my breasts.

Didn't feel too bad, frankly.

"O-Orion?" I went, hoping to get his attention. "You're hurting me..." I blushed to show that I was embarrassed by it, only to realize that Orion was red in the face, practically braindead. He's one of those guys, huh? I thought as Orion fell on his back, his nose bleeding no doubt from realizing his mistake.

I heard a servo move and turned my head. Out of the smoke was a trio of Gundam that had Decepticon sigils on their torsos.

"CHAOS?! GAIA?! ABYSS?!" I heard someone exclaim. Then, a voice from the Chaos spoke.

"Destroy all the exits first before they can escape," It ordered, the voice sounding like Sting Oakley.

"Gaia," Abyss spoke, sounding like Auel Nieder, "Take the left..." he commanded, turning his head toward the Gaia Gundam.

The Gaia nodded and spoke in a Stellar Loussier voice, simply saying, "Understood." The Gaia then launched itself to the left and transformed into its altmode, a wolf-like creature, and began to fire at random panels, creating chaos for everyone.

"We're all going to die!" I heard a girl scream, running off before a piece of debris was about to fall on her. No time to transform!I thought when I suddenly saw Orion push throw himself toward the woman, pushing her out of the way as the debris fell on top of him.

Right as the wreckage fell onto him, Orion pulled out his badge and screamed, "OPTIMUS PRIME, TRANSFORM!" The rubble then proceeded to shake before exploding, revealing Orion as Optimus Prime with an expression of rage engraved on his face.

"AUTOBOTS!" He screamed as Dion and I pulled out our badges and hid behind some of the wreckage. "ATTACK!" Without thinking, Dion and I transformed and jumped out.

"What's the plan, Prime?" I asked. I turned to Orion, only to be scared when I saw the enraged look on his face.

With a fierce grip on his blaster, he declared, "There are five unforgivable things in my book."

His voice was low and menacing, as he listed them off: "Any extreme form of social injustice, cruelty to animals or children, abuse of power, forced politics, and most of all, HURTING INNOCENT PEOPLE IN THE PURSUIT OF POWER!!!" His fury boiled over as he charged toward the Chaos Gundam, landing a powerful punch with a look of pure rage on his face.

"Ultra Magnus," I exclaimed, turning toward Dion, "Focus on the Abyss, I'll handle Gaia!"

Dion's POV

I nodded as I ran to where the Abyss was, intent on stopping them or being able to buy time for the civilians to escape. "Magnus Art!" I exclaimed while slapping my hands together, "4 BLADED PILLAR FORMATION!" 4 swords appeared, stabbing the ground as a barrier formed around us. "This creates an energy barrier that prevents both its caster and victim from escaping unless either is defeated or dead." I glared at the Abyss, "In other words..." I pulled out my beam saber and ignited it, "The barrier will only disappear once a victor has been declared."

The Abyss was silent before it finally spoke, "You Autobots are always so persistent." He aimed his trident at me, "Perhaps that's why Lord Megatron wishes for your destruction!" Without warning, his chest hole shot a red beam at me, missing as I dodged and landed on a giant piece of rubble.

That explains the sigil... I thought as I pulled out my blaster and fired. It's somewhat ironic that our team name is Phantom Pain and yet we're facing off against the Gundam that were used by the originals.

"So are there more like you?" I asked, hoping to engage in intel gathering while in combat. "I didn't even know the Decepticons had Gundam."

"They don't," Abyss growled, slamming himself into me, "Me, Gaia, and Chaos were modified by the Decepticons as experiments!" He then used his shoulder cannons and fired at me again.

"Modified?" I wondered, "Who were you before?" Abyss said nothing as he threw his trident down on me, causing me to pull out my beam saber and block it.

"Not that any it's any of your business, Autobot scum," Abyss explained, "but me and my comrades used to be normal Vehicon drones before being rebuilt into these new bodies." So they were grunts before, huh? Guess that made sense, considering how I hadn't seen a single Decepticon that resembled them. "Focus on me!" I suddenly heard, my eyes widening as Abyss blew a hole in the ground, causing us to drop into the sewer below.

"Trying to take it underwater, huh?" I quipped, activating my foot thrusters. If I remembercorrectly,I thought as I saw him disappear into the thick but surprisingly clean sewage water. Abyss was primarily built for oceanic combat, with land and space being its respective secondary and tertiary specialties. Damn!I thought How did Shin beat this guy?I pulled out my blaster and began to look for anything that stood out to me in the water.

Suddenly, the water splashed upwards as the Abyss flew and changed from its submarine mode to robot mode, flying until he shot at me, hitting my blaster. Thinking fast I threw it into the air, watching it explode due to the ammo being overheated from within the blaster. I pulled out my beam saber and ignited it once more, assuming Axl Magnus (Liege Maximo's Magnus)stance. "You don't have to follow their orders!" I exclaimed, blocking the axe-trident swings, "You and your comrades could leave the Decepticons, and start a new life for yourselves! Look at Steve!" That didn't seem like the right thing to say, because Abyss began to growl.

"Vehicon ST3V3 is a traitor to the Decepticon cause!" He exclaimed, pressing against my beam saber as he said this. "He left the cause to pursue useless activities!" I kicked him off balance and assumed a certain stance, pressing my hand to the ground as I glared at him.

I didn't think I'd have to use this, I thought as I smirked, Something's better than nothing, though."Here goes!" I yelled, "IMPULSE MODULE DEPLOY!" A jet with a pair of cannons attached to its rear shot through the barrier, with the jet detaching itself from the cannons with the latter interlocking with my back, completing the mode change.

"ULTRA MAGNUS: BLAST IMPULSE MODE!!!!" I cried out, using the thruster in the module to lift me in the air. As long as I don't resort to Magnus Core Mode I should be fine.

Abyss laughed at me as soon as he saw my new mode. "What are you going to do with that, lemon shot me to death?" the two cannon tips suddenly flipped towards him. They began to glow, signifying that I was going to use a charged blast. To do that, though, I needed to make enough time. Luckily for me, I could be very entertaining.

I lowered the barrier that trapped me and Abyss, allowing me to fly away from him. "Catch me if ya can, you giant hunk of scrap!" I exclaimed, zooming away from the stadium to minimize damage.

Abyss growled before flying after me, attempting to hit me with his back cannons. "You won't get away, Autobot scum!" We continued to play this game of Cat and Mouse until I stopped back at the stadium, looking around to find Abyss. I didn't have to wait long, as I felt him above me and was about to swing his axe-trident. Thinking fast, I briefly dodged and did a spin kick, disabling Abyss's flight systems and sending him crashing into the now-empty stadium. "You glitch!" he yelled as he realized he was now grounded. "I don't need to fly to kill you!" He then pointed his cannons at me and said, "Multi-phase Beam Cannon!" His chest hole began to glow brightly before firing a red beam at me.

"Alteros Cannon!" I screamed, using the same attack that Orion used on Thunderking, which collided with the red laser for a moment before it blasted through and hit Abyss in the chest, causing him to turn off color before exploding into scrap. I landed softly and grabbed the Axe trident, plunging its tip to the ground, "You may have lived and died as a Decepticon," I whispered as I looked at Abyss's remains, "but that doesn't mean you died without honor." I put my hands together in prayer, "May your spark finally know peace in the Afterspark..."

Ariel's POV

I saw a beam of light appear from Dion's location signifying that his fight had just finished. Meanwhile, I was getting my ass kicked the Gaia, and she wasn't letting up any time soon. She kept switching from MA mode to Robot mode as she fired at me. I gotta think of something fast!I thought as I dodged a blast from the beam rifle she possessed in her arsenal. Why the hell did the Decepticons think it was a good idea to recreate the Gundam from Seed Destiny of all things?!I thought as I kept dodging Gaia's beam. It doesn't help either that I can't copy her abilities either.I continued to think as I pulled out two beam sabers and began using Rahab-1(Micronus Prime's One) stance to combat Gaia. My copy power only works for special moves or weapons compatible with my body. I thought, blocking the Gaia's slashes at almost inhuman speeds. If I were to copy something such as Megatron's fusion cannon, or Lugnut's P.O.K.E. the strain on my body would kill me. "Which means," I spoke as I pulled out a blaster and fired as I slid on my back, "if I want to survive, I'll have to use a power-up." Without hesitating, I slammed my hand to the ground and screamed, "IMPULSE MODULE DEPLOY!" My hand turned into a buster similar to that of Megaman X's as the same module from my battle with Evillustrator appeared and attached itself to my back.

"ELITA-1 BLAST IMPULSE MODE!!!" I screamed, finishing my mode change. Gaia growled as she seemed to realize my plan, firing from her back cannons as I dodged the missiles. I need to wrap this up fast! I thought as I began shooting at Gaia with my Buster. "ELITA BUSTER!" I screamed, my buster began to glow at the tip as little light particles formed. I slid to dodge the blasts from the beam cannon, angering Gaia even more.

"Bastard!" She growled as she pulled out a beam saber and began to ram toward me. "You won't get away from me!" she screamed as I dodged her slashes and even blocked one saber slash from her with my buster(She exerted a lot of pressure mainly because she and her two comrades were 28 ft tall robots decked in Mobile Suit armor and shared the same abilities as their normal Cybertronian selves.) Thinking fast, I used my Impulse pack to fly high.

It's a good thing Gaia wasn't designed for flight but as a land unit. I thought I dodged all of her shots. Otherwise, I'd be dead by now. I suddenly had an idea of how to beat her. This better work, I thought as I hovered above Gaia, who for some reason was becoming enraged by the fact that she couldn't find me. Otherwise, I'll end up pushing daisies like my cousin Armin! I shuddered as I thought about Armin. No disrespect to him, but that guy was, as Orion would have put it, "as dumb as an ox". (The idiot tried to wrestle a wolverine to impress a girl he met and ended up being ripped to pieces...) "Disengage, Force Impulse! " I exclaimed, feeling the battle pack detach from my back. I began falling towards Gaia, prepared to finish the fight. I threw my buster forward and began to watch as it finally charged its shot. This is it! As I curled myself into a ball and steadied my buster, which was aimed at my opponent. "ELITA..." I said, slowly drawing it out for dramatic effect. "BUSTER..." I was getting closer, realizing that Gaia had anticipated my plan and had dodged just as I was about to fire.

Realizing what was about to happen, I quickly turned and fired at her. "BLAST!!!" Sending me flying into a vending machine, spraying soda on me. Now I'm all bloody and sticky. I thought as I got up and spat blood on the ground. Looking toward my left. I realized that she was still standing, although she now had no weapons save for her hands and feet. Sighing, I realized had no choice but to resort to that.

I swore to never use this again... I thought as I assumed a pose Nathaniel would have recognized as well as other people like me. Sorry, Saba... I thought as Gaia got up. I know you wouldn't want me to use this but I've got no other choice!

"Krav Maga!" I exclaimed a serious expression in my eyes as I faced Gaia, "It's an Israeli Martial Art designed to finish off a fight as quickly and aggressively as possible!" I narrowed my gaze at her as Gaia got closer to me. I don't enjoy killing. I thought as she began charging toward me. But at this point, if I don't put this crazy femme bot down then she and that Chaos mech will kill everyone here! As soon as she got close enough, I dodged her fist and began to deploy a strategy: targeting my opponent's weak points.

One could argue that the neural cluster located on a Cybertronian's nape is their weak point. I say that's a bad idea, as there's no surefire way of knowing their altmode unless they have definable kibble on them. I knew what Gaia's altmode was and I wasn't suicidal enough to find out if the Decepticons had added teeth to it. That left me with the optics, neck, face, T-cog(which would cause Mode lock, a fate I wouldn't wish even on Megatron), servos, or even the spark. Knowing what I had to do, I slide-dashed away from the 'Con and bounced on some of the debris, looking for an opening. There! I realized as I pushed against the Age 2 Zaku's shield. "LEVIATHAN..." I screamed, my hand in a jabbing position, "JAB!!" The water surrounded my figure as a water-shaped sea serpent formed around me, roaring as I jammed my hand through Gaia's chest, blowing a hole through her chest cavity and extinguishing her spark. I landed on my feet before falling on my back, exhausted from that attack. Not bad for the daughter of Mordecai Kurtzberg, eh Saba? I thought as I turned to where Orion had been. "Good luck, Orion..." I whispered to myself, "You're gonna need it..."

Orion's POV

"This will be a challenge," I remember telling myself as I faced off against the Chaos Gundam. Primes, give me strength... I thought as I assumed Liege Maximo stance. Chaos and I stood facing each other for a moment before "Sure we can't talk this out?" I asked, hoping to not have to get energon on my hands.

Chaos growled as he pulled out his beam cannon. "Talk is cheap," he said, aiming at me, "I'd prefer more action!" he began firing his palette rifle at me as I dodged the projectiles with incredible speed. I sighed as I realized this was going nowhere and began shooting at Chaos, using my feet boosters to speed-dash away from any oncoming projectiles. "Besides," he continued as he transformed into his namesake's MA mode, "You were the one who threw the first blow when we came!" Damn it. He was right.

There goes that idea, I thought before slamming my hand to the ground, screaming "IMPULSE MODULE DEPLOY!!!" A jet with a pair of swords attached to it shot out of my trailer flying for dramatic effect as it fired at Chaos Gundam, who only became more annoyed as he tried to shoot it down. I then jumped as the jet detached, revealing a second pair of wings in the shape of a v and attaching itself to my back. I grabbed the swords and ignited them.

"OPTIMUS PRIME SWORD IMPULSE MODE!!!" I screamed, landing in a crouched position. "Now..." I said, putting myself in Amalgamous Prime stance. "Let's dance..." We stood facing each other with killing intent, waiting for the other to make the first move. Chaos struck first, he began running towards me as I held my ground, as was required for Amalgamous Stance. As he got closer, I closed my eyes and began to convert my rage into a sense of calmness, as per what Amalgamous Stance needed. "I don't know what's worth fighting for," I whispered the lyrics to "Breaking the Habit". Music was always a way of helping me keep focus and clear my mind. Linkin Park, Koji Wada, Eminem, Stan Bush, Evanescence... These were but a few examples of my musical preferences. Chaos began firing his MA mode's Mobile Weapons pods at me, causing me to dodge them despite my eyes being closed. "Or why I have to scream..." I continued, using my swords to deflect the beams shot at me, "But now I have some clarity... To show you what I mean..." I appeared above Chaos's MA mode and did a twirl before punching down on his back, sending him crashing to the ground, "I don't know how I got this way," I landed in a crouch and could feel Chaos pull put his beam saber and try to do an overhead slash on me. I'll never be alright..." I blocked the beam saber slash by combining my swords and then twirling it like a bo staff, Chaos then proceeded to use an underhand slash but was blocked by my sword staff, which I then blocked with one bladed edge, my left hand pressing the bottom part to keep it from being pushed towards me. "So I'm breaking the habit," I continued even further, this time moving so fast that it seemed as if I didn't move at all. "I'm breaking the habit, tonight!" I opened my eyes just to see Chaos looking at himself before running toward me in a fit of rage.

"DIE AUTOBOT!" He screamed throwing a fist forward at me only to stop just a few nanometers from making contact. He tried to move only to find that he couldn't. "What did you do to me?!" he growled as I sheathed my Excalibur blades, pausing for dramatic effect(Why do people like to do that?). I finished sheathing them just in time for lines to appear all over his body, spraying energon all over me as his arms fell off and module fell off, having only been affected by my slashes. "D-damn you!" The Decepticon Gundam spat, falling on his knees as energon leaked from his wounds, "How could we lose to you Autobots?"

I slowly walked toward him, hoping to talk some sense into him. "You didn't lose because you fought recklessly without a plan," I told him. "You lost this battle because you thought it was smart to attack innocent civilians..." I narrowed my gaze at him as Chaos began to try and get up, "Your servos won't work because I've mixed Amalgamous Stace with an ancient technique developed by Onyx Prime when he was still part of the Order of the Guardians..." I panted as I tried catching my breath, "I won't say what it's called in case Megatron or someone else is watching through you..." I held out a hand to offer, "You don't have to listen to what they have to say," I told him, "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings," I continued, "Like your species, you yourself are capable of not only physical changes but also changes within your spark." I stared at the sky, observing the moon and stars, "You don't have to be an Autobot, I'm not asking you to, but I am asking you to at least reevaluate your life choices." I became silent, wondering if my words got to him. I then looked into his optics and realized he had gone offline some time ago. "Till All Are One..." I whispered, looking at the sky.

Cybertron

The four Decepticon generals watched as their "experiments" (really victims) were taken offline by the Autobots. "Experiment has been deemed a failure..." Soundwave proclaimed as he began to type a few commands into the keyboard. "Shall we scrap the project?"

"No," they heard Nightbird say, "This test run has yielded some unexpected results, namely both in the form of these Gundam and the Autobots..." Starscream, Soundwave, and Shockwave looked at each other in mild confusion and silently wondered if Nightbird hadn't blown a fuse. "Think about it," she continued, pressing on some holograms, amplifying the images of Optimus Prime, Elita-1, and Ultra Magnus with their Impulse Modules, "These 'Impulse Modules' were based on these Gundam, specifically, the one called the Impulse Gundam."

Shockwave was the only one who pieced together what Nightbird was saying, "If I am correct, and I am, then what you are proposing is to make modules for ourselves..." he remarked. "An interesting hypothesis that must be taken into careful consideration." Nightbird nodded in recognition, "It would be illogical for me to not at least make a side project out of this..."

"Thank you Shockwave," Nightbird replied, seemingly grateful for his consideration of her idea."Now if you excuse me, I must be at my Beloved's side," she bowed before walking out of the command center, leaving only the Seeker Commander, Communication Expert, and Mad Scientist alone with each other.

"'I must be at my beloved's side' Who the frag does she think she is?!" Starscream growled, "What I wouldn't give to blast a hole through her spark and shut her up! Maybe then we would finally be able to get some progress done!" He fired his null ray at a random Vehicon drone, whose color became smoke-grey for a few seconds before melting into molten slag.

Soundwave and Shockwave sighed. "Have you blown a diode?" Shockwave inquired, not turning away from his monitor, "If you do offline Nightbird, there will be nothing to prevent Megatron from reducing you to a pile of cinders yourself." Starscream growled as he realized that his one-eyed companion was right: Nightbird was the only reason he(and any other potential usurpers) were still online, and that was mainly because the femme was the only one who was able to calm Megatron's fits of rage. If she was out of the picture, there would be little reason to stop Megatron from turning even his most valued generals into scrap metal.

Starscream took a deep breath before fanning himself, "And what do you propose we do, doctor?" he asked, half-mocking and half serious. "There must be a way for us to reel in her ourselves, otherwise should Megatron pass, she-."

"Should Lord Megatron pass," Soundwave finished, earning a glare from Starscream, "You as second-in-command will be labeled as the new Emperor of Destruction, as per tradition."

The Seeker commander sputtered as he stared at Soundwave, "'As per tradition?!'" He gasped, placing a servo on his chest, "That only works if I had challenged him to a Duel of Emperors based on conditions we both agreed on!" Starscream exclaimed. "There is nothing in the Destron Archives that says that the SIC becomes Emperor if the current one dies in recovery!" His red optics suddenly widened as he realized something. "Unless..." he walked to a computer terminal, "Teletraan X," he began asking, punching in keys as he hoped the computer would answer, "Name one Emperor of Destruction who became emperor through assassination!"

Teletraan X was silent for a few moments as it computed results. "Search complete," It spoke in a feminine seductive tone, "5th Emperor of Destruction Shokaract became leader after murdering the previous Emperor Gigatron while the latter was in the middle of recharging. Shokaract believed that Gigatron had gone insane from the lack of battle and found it necessary to remove him from power via a beam saber through his spark. Shall I continue?"

Starscream waved a servo at Teletraan X, "No no that will be all..." he turned towards his fellow generals, "It would seem that if Megatron were to be assassinated, then I would become Emperor."

Soundwave glared at Starscream, "And what if Nightbird decides to end Megatron's life?"

"That femme would never even consider doing that!" Starscream replied, irritation laced in his voice. "She is far too enamored with Megatron to even contemplate that kind of thought."

Shockwave looked back at them, "It would be logical to at least keep an optic on her in case she does anything..."

"Indeed..." was all Starscream could say before the three went their separate ways.

Nathaniel's POV

"Be careful!" Alix said as she began to breathe hard, "You're pushing too hard!" My face was red from all the effort I was putting into it.

"I don't think I'll be able to hold it in much longer..." I replied, doing my best to keep it in.

Alix huffed as she pushed the last piece in. "And done!" she proclaimed, "you can let go now, Nathaniel!" she exclaimed, giving me the okay to shove the last piece of wood in place, "Finally!" she commented in an exasperated voice, "I thought we would never get that bookshelf assembled!" Alix and I fell on our butts as we observed our latest piece of work: a bookshelf that I had designed from scratch. "I still don't understand how we got this done in one day," Alix remarked as she took a swig of bottled water. "But who am I to complain?" she sat next to me as I took a swig of water as well, "I kinda wonder how the others are doing right now..." No sooner did she ask that, the door to the apartment was opened, revealing that it was Ariel and her friends.

"So how was the-" I stopped mid-sentence once I saw the condition they were in: Ariel had her hand wrapped in a sling, black eye, and a pair of crutches. Orion was wearing a pair of shades to cover the black eyes he wore and sported multiple cuts on his body, even having blood on his lip that dripped. Dion was walking while hooked up to an IV bag while holding onto the stand for dear life. I was at a loss for words at what I saw. Alix, on the other hand, had other things to say.

"What the fuck happened to you?" She asked a look of confusion and horror present on her face.

My cousin and her friends simply looked at each other before Orion spoke, "We ran into some old friends and kinda got into a fight..."

"Was it a fight with the Decepticons?" I wondered, knowing that was the only way they could ever get like that. Ariel, Orion, and Dion were all silent before nodding in defeat.

"Lie down," I said, "I'll get the ice packs and beds ready..."

[raineydays411]

My Father's Daughter

Part 6

Tony Stark x daughter! Reader

Hey guys! So I know it's been like nine thousand years since I updated, but I honestly didn't have the motivation till now. Im sorry if this kinda sucks but I'm still getting back into the groove of things.

From the moment you arrived at the Wayne Manor, you knew you were going to be miserable.

First of all, it was incredibly different from the technological paradise you called home. This was a gothic, old fashioned manor, you don't even know if your Bluetooth would work out here.

Secondly, this manor is full of people who you would rather not have any interactions with. Including , but not limited to : your mother, who abandoned you, her husband, who she abandoned you for, her son who she abandoned you for, and so on and so forth.

And finally, if you have to deal with these stuck up, stand offish, gloomy ass kids your mother adopted for a second longer you are going to--

"Y/n?"

A voice snaps you out of your thoughts and back into the giant living area, seeing multiple pair of eyes staring at you. Mixed with concern, annoyance, and amusement.

You turn your attention to Bruce, " I'm sorry can you repeat that?"

You hear a snicker coming from one of the three million kids, whos name you really cannot be bothered in learning.

Bruce sighs and repeats goes to repeat his words, " I said, I know that this must be a change for you. And although your mother and I are ecstatic that you're here, we understand that it will take you a while to be comfortable. So when you're ready....blah blah bla"

You start to tune him out again, retreating back into your brain. Really, these long winded speeches are really annoying, especially when it could be cut short.

That's when you hear a "Tsk".

"Honestly Father, I don't understand why you waste your breath. She obviously has a hard time comprehending even the simplest of concepts."

"Damian!"

oooh you're gonna end up killing that kid.

"Keep talking like that shrimp and you'll have to comprehend my foot up your--"

"Y/n!"

Bruce shouts with an exhausted look on his face, you and Damian have been exchanging sly remarks ever since you got here....about five hours ago. Christine decided to take the rest of the kids with her grocery shopping for a special dinner for you, leaving behind only Damian and Cassie.

They really were not fond of the idea that you were biologically their mothers.

"Damian, Y/n is part of our family and you shall treat her as such. This is no different than the other times we brought in someone new to our family."

"Well I can name a few differences" You mutter, looking down as Bruce shoots you another exhausted look.

You really do feel bad for the guy. Despite everything he has been rather nice to you, and you bet his whole world has been turned upside down, once again. He's really taking this extra marital child thing with stride. Although you guess being who he is he has to be ready for the inconceivable.

Before you can say anything else however, the front door opened revealing Christine and her hoard of children. And it's like a circus suddenly burst through the door. All of them yelling at, to, and over each other. It honestly was annoying to hear. You never really interacted with other people your age. Sure there was Peter but he actually was younger than you, and when you were in the Tower was quiet. You really were going from only child to a house full of children.

"Y/n!" Christine says rather loudly, " Oh I was hoping to make it back before you go here. I guess grocery shopping to a bit loner than I expected." She giggles.

"I've been here for about five hours." You deadpan.

You catch the glare Damian shoots you as the energy in the room dims down. The rest of the kids give each other awkward glances, not really daring to say anything.

That is until Dick decides to speak up wrapping an arm around Christine.

"Well, Y/n I hope you're hungry! Cause I know Mom has a special dinner prepared for you." He smiles, "She makes it every time someone knew joins our family."

You don't know why but his overly joyous tone really gets on your nerves.

"Is it roast beef with mash potato's and garlic bread?" You ask innocently watching almost everyone in the room react in shock.

"Um, how did you know that" Dick asks hesitantly.

"Yeah every time mother dearest over here came to visit me at the tower that was her "special meal"' you say " A special meal to show just how much she missed me."

Now the room was tense.

Christine's face dropped, realizing that if she wanted to get closer to you, she can't use the same tactics she used on her other kids. So instead of saying anything outright, she takes a deep breath to regain her composer. The she smiles again

"You have a good memory Petal. How about to come help me in the kitchen?"

The children gasp, as long as they lived in they mansion, they knew to never step foot into their mothers kitchen. It was her way of decompressing, if she was a captain, that was her ship and she sailed alone. The only one allowed to go into the kitchen while she was cooking was Alfred. And that's cause no one could say no to Alfred. And because everyone was scared of him.

Needless to say, this request struck jealousy their hearts.

Dick, Jason, and Tim all were able to somewhat put it aside, understanding the situation behind the request. But Damian... he refused to see anything other than him being replaced. That was his mother, his home, his family. He doesn't understand how one girl could come in and ruin it.

And even worse, you turned it down.

"Yeah, I'm no Betty Crocker. Sorry" You say, " Is there anyway I can get settled in my room?"

Everyone looks at each other, speaking with their eyes. But before anyone could speak Alfred came to your rescue.

"It seems Ms. Stark is rather tired from her trip, I shall show her to her room. I'm sure she'd like to freshen up before dinner."

You sigh in relief, glad he took the attention off you even if it was for just a second. You were getting frustrated with the way they were looking at you. It seems that this will be a common theme while you live here.

You quickly gather your things before anyone says anything, shrugging off Dick before he's able to help you with your luggage. Then balancing everything, you march forward with a,

"Lead the way Riff-Raff"

And ignoring the confused look from Alfred and glares from Damian as you pass by. You hold your head up high, despite the looks and judgement.

Once again feeling like an outsider in a place you are forced to call home.

[rcksmith]

Desire — Kaz Brekker

(Photo not mine)

Requests: “Hello there! I've been around this blog for a bit now and you are an amazing writer! I was wondering if you would be ok with doing something with 21 28 & 29 from the smut prompts and kaz brekker? If you are uncomfortable please just ignore this!”

“Kaz brekker Smut prompts 28 66?? Love you💖!!”

“I can request Kaz smut prompts 29?❤️”

Smut prompts:

21. “Look at you, I’ve only started using my fingers and you’re already shaking.”

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

29. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

66. “You know I don’t like to be teased.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, mention of shot, mention of desire, desire, mention of smut, explicit smut, NSFW.

Word count: 3k

A/N: All smut requests for Kaz must follow these rules.

I hope you like💕 English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — —

There was something about you. Something impossible to decipher, with a glow hovering around you like a electrical energy. Wrapping your whole body in a cloak of magnetism. There was something about the way you spoke, walked, laugh. Something about what it was like to be you, in your beauty and mysteries like a sphinx.

Something that made Kaz Brekker completely furious.

You couldn't be more distorted from the image, in Kaz's mind, than what was to be a peaceful woman. Calm, controled, with steel emotions and wit in eyes. Someone who, like him, knew how to dance the waltz of negotiation, manipulation, who could blend in with the shadows and know the best time to listen more than speak.

You were not like Inej, you were not like Jesper. Hell, you were like nobody Kaz has known in all of his 28 years.

Nothing reminiscent of calm and control would be used to describe what it meant to be you.

Your soul are stormy, loud, obstinate, too stubborn and too talkative. You needed to speak loudly, laugh, move, expose your opinions to the seven winds and to whoever listened the most. You needed to question, inquire, doubt and test the limits of any situation. A direct order for you would be an affront to your free and independent spirit. A command that would curtail your freedom or tame your strong genius was almost like an invitation for you to do exactly the opposite of what they had ordered you to do.

So, for a man of trained reasoning, subtly balanced world, and who was used to his every command being followed vehemently and promptly in blind obedience, such a personality like you was like introducing a disturbing factor capable of shaking all his judgments. Sand in a watch, or stone in a shoe, would be no more a nuisance than a strong nature like your.

The extraordinary stubbornness and mania to counter his orders - when, in your words, they were unreasonable - had made you different from all the women Brekker had ever met. Kaz liked challenges and responsibilities, a good puzzle, but you were on a level far beyond that.

You were a danger to his peace of mind. And you knew that. All his aversion to your indomitable spirit only served as fuel for your own mission in to piss him off. Few men were like Kaz Brekker, you knew that, with a strength of character too powerful to be ignored. He was not just comfortable in his position of authority as he was obviously unable to act in any other way than as a leader. His stoic figure and always so contained in a wall of indifference made you want to ruffle his hair to see if you could remove any emotion. And being a girl who hasn't always liked leaders, Kaz Brekker was a huge temptation. Few moments had been better than those that you managed to piss him off beyond what he could handle.

However, all the reasons why the two of you were so exasperating for each other, did not explain why the air crackled in ambiguity when your eyes met. The hemisphere was adorned in a thought-provoking, poignant veil, like a warm honey flowing down its throat, and there was something else in the way blood flowed like flames of fire through veins of you two.

Jesper said that the sexual tension between you was so tangible that it could be cut by one of Inej's knives, but you refused to think of Kaz that way. At least until that moment.

Not pure images of what the infamous Brekker could do to you between four walls swept you like the strong Arabian wind. Making you be surprisingly breathless. Kaz was not a man whose private life was exposed, nor was he involved with many women, but you have heard two or three of them when they were drunk saying that Kaz Brekker in the room could be incendiary.

Everyone knew that his touch reserve didn't limit him to anything, but that his job was at the top of the priority list and that sexual encounters were almost never on that list.

"It was not my fault!” Jesper defended himself one night, slightly drunk, sitting at the club's round table next to the other crows “I didn't know he was married to another man! That damn pretty face seduced me!”

"Did he seduce you?" You asked, skeptical and playful.

"I swear to God! And it had been a long time since I had sex with anyone, and I went… ”

“But you did sex last week." Inej laughed, chocked.

"Exactly!" Jesper said, as if he were obvious.

You laughed with your beer glass in your hand, taking another sip.

“Is a week a long time to not sleep with anyone?" Matthias retorted, trying not to laugh.

“Are you going to tell me that is not?” Jesper and Nina spoke at the same time.

“If a man has time for sex more than once a week, he clearly doesn't have much to do. And I'm sure I gave Jesper a lot of tasks that would keep him busy.” Kaz narrowed his eyes at his friend, and Jesper hid his guilt behind the rim of his beer glass, looking to the side.

"So you are saying that you are a very busy man?" You teased, trying not to laugh at the scathing look Kaz sent you.

"I disagree. The values ​​of hard work and discipline cannot match the hot body of a woman in bed.” Matthias said, exchanging a brief conspiratorial look with Nina, who winked at him.

"There are more important things." Said Kaz.

"Like what?" You rested your chin on the back of the hand whose elbow was on the table, the playful look of a rebellious student.

"Progress." Kaz held your gaze.

He wasn't going to take your bait. But you didn't give up easy.

"Tell me, if God gave you a deal: all the hunger in the world would be extinguished in exchange for you never being able to have sex again, what would you choose?" your eyes had a teasing feline glow.

At that moment, Kaz felt a shiver up the back of his neck, like a warm breath of autumn. Something crawled, like a snake, across his rib cage and down to his groin, pumping blood like fire through his veins.

He held your gaze, but the feline glow in your eyes promised to contain the most ardent sins. Suddenly, Kaz's mind was flooded by the wave of obscene images of you, on his bed; moaning, squirming, shouting his name and being very obedient with every order he gave you.

He would make you such a good girl...

"I don't believe in God." He replied succinctly, the predator's eyes still in your eyes audacious feline's.

A big, satisfied smile spread across your face, and you said: "As I thought. Bad luck for hungry people.”

Realizing that he had fallen right into your cunning trap, Kaz got rid of your diabolical magnetism and cursed.

“I didn't say…” he stopped, impatient “It doesn't matter. I have more important things to do than waste time here.”

But the smile you hid behind the glass was noticeable to Kaz.

After that night, the crackling, gasping flame that circled the two of you intensified to alarming levels. Kaz could feel you holding your breath when he was too close, and you could see him squeezing his cane harder when you sweetened your voice for him.

However, regardless of Kaz's wanted to fold you at a table and put an end to your brat girl pose, enjoying the groans he was sure you would let out, the two of you still fought like dog and cat.

Just as it was now.

“What do you mean, I'm not going?!” You looked at Kaz, amazed, when he told you that you would not participate in the robbery that week “I know that security system like the back of my hand!”

It was true, what you had of stubbornness, you had of technological intelligence. There was no computer that you would not hack, a program that you would not hack, and a system that you would not unlock. Your genius with technology made up for all your lack of obedience.

But Kaz ignored. “I've already told you. It's a more dangerous mission than you're used to and we don't have time for the plans you come up with right away.” He needled you.

“Are you referring to Switzerland?” You were never anything short of direct and inquiring. It was logical that you would question every orden. “But I already told you that when the alarm went off your plan didn't work anymore! I was more useful inside to deactivate the alarm than waiting outside.”

And stubborn. Holy God, how stubborn you were!

"And it cost you to get shot."

"But it was just a shot!"

Kaz looked at you, puzzled. “Just?! And wasn't it enough ?! You put the whole team at risk!”

“But if I hadn't deactivated the alarm, we would all be arrested! And only I knew how to do that!”

"My fucking God, isn't there a speck of common sense in you?!"

But you answered boldly: "Not when you impose clueless plans on me."

Mortified would be an understatement to describe how he was now. What an unbearable creature! Kaz felt the anger spread from his neck to his face, igniting his breath and squinting his eyes in annoyance.

Why was it so difficult for you to follow a simple goddamn rule?!

“Besides, your initial plan was flawed and there was no reason for me to be out when it was necessary inside and...” And you kept talking!

If you had noticed Kaz's completely enraged state in front of you, you would have been scared, shut up and ran. But, truth be told, Kaz suspected that even if you knew how to read the murderous humor in his eyes, you wouldn't have left that office. Much less be afraid. You could argue with the demon. And you would probably beat him out of tiredness.

However, regardless of the desire to shake you up, to see if that put any good sense in you, in that second, watching you gesture with your hands, defending your point of view as if it were the england queen's crown, something swept Kaz's body from the top of his head with dark hair to the tips of his illustrated boots.

The sound of the world was drowned out by the flow of blood itself in his veins. His heart hammered hard in his chest and, in that instant, a sharp sting in his groin and the pit of his stomach set him on fire.

His gaze went down to your mouth, which kept moving. And when it came up to your eyes, your stubborn and defiant gaze sent Kaz's rationality into space. He dropped the cane abruptly, which toppled to the floor with a hollow crack, and advanced towards you in firm and determined steps.

Gluing his gloved hands to your face, Kaz silenced all your protests with a strong kiss. Hot, fiery, domineering. The kind of kiss that held years of camouflaged desire, years of irritability, years of an unnerving desire to make you shut up with all the perverse forms that existed.

You weren't afraid of him. But you should. You should if you knew everything he wanted to do with you.

However, as if you have been burning in the same desire for years, you responded to that kiss with the same urgency. The same hunger. Kaz slipped his hands into your hair, closing his fingers there and deepening the kiss with ferocity. He felt beside himself, like a hungry wild animal that had been denied food for years and that only now had its teeth set on its prey. You moaned against his lips, bringing your hands to his lean, strong biceps, squeezing your fingers there.

You both needed air, but neither seemed to give a damn about that. Misted of desire that burned like a fire in their bodies, Kaz pushed the two of you backwards, slamming your back against the wall and swinging a frame beside. You gasped, and the gesture made it possible for Kaz to invade your mouth with his tongue, hunting every piece of hot meat. You two fought the same battle in that kiss: invade, dominate, conquer.

They both wanted to take the waltz, but Kaz would never let you conduct the show.

He pulled your wrists up, pinning them with one hand against the wall, leaving you immobile while sinking his mouth further into yours. Kaz felt you try to get rid of his tight grip, but he was stronger than you. And much more when he have a objective.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He murmured against your mouth, the tip of his tongue playing with your bottom lip. “You know I don’t like to be teased.”

Was impossible for you to control the loud moan that escaped. Your body trembling with desire, your legs wobbly, your wet core vibrating with his words. Kaz Brekker was a fallen angel. With a beauty and charm you've never been immune to.

How can you think you'd win the dominance game with him?

And, like the fallen angel he was, his smug and arrogant smile painted the corner of his lips when he saw what his lines did to you.

“I didn’t know you were so sensitive.” Kaz mocked “If I knew it was only necessary to do this for you to shut up...” he brought his lips closer, his voice hitting yours “I would have fucked you like the naughty brat you have been a long time.”

If his caustic and maddening kisses hadn't been enough to break you in half, that statement would have done all the work.

In that second, you hoisted your white flag, biting your lip in a needy moan and closing your eyes for a second by the overwhelming vibration of your core. God, you needed more. Whatever he gave you. Anything he wanted to give you. You just needed more.

"Are you going to be good?" He played with the dough you were in his hands, his devilish mouth going down your neck, leaving a trail of fire and debris wherever he went.

You agreed, desperately. “Yes, Sir."

That title seemed to do things with Kaz. Because in the next second, his mouth was back on your. More urgent, more needy, more dominating. You shifted your hips for more friction with his, and Kaz rewarded your obedience by pulling one of your thighs forward, making your skirt go up, aligning your thigh on his hips and giving access for his member to fit perfectly against your pulsating core.

You moaned louder this time. Fingers clenching, heart pumping frantically. Kaz pulled his lips away from you for a second, taking his hand off your thigh and bringing it to your mouth.

“Pull.” He ordered, referring to the glove.

You murmured a low, excited moan, bringing your mouth to the glove and clenching your teeth on the cloth at the top of his middle finger. Satisfied, Kaz pulled his hand back, watching the alabaster skin peel away from the leather fabric. As soon as he was free, he removed the glove from your mouth, replacing it with his own and stealing all your breath in that fiery kiss.

His free hand wandered over your thigh, touching you for the first time with a touch that promised to show you all the most delicious and secret sins in the world. His tongue wrapped around your again, and the moan you let out was even greater when his long fingers brushed against your wet, throbbing core.

"S-sir!" You sobbed, your hips rocking against his hand, desperate for more.

"Look at you." His fire voice beat against your lips, the tightness against your wrists getting stronger, more possessive "I’ ve only started using my fingers and you ’re already shaking"

Your body cried out in unbridled desire, sobs mingling with loud moans and heavy sighs as Kaz tormented you with his fingers. He touched you, slid, opened and sank, increasing the volume of your pleas.

“P-please" You begged, the body in need, the urge too urgent.

Kaz looked you in the eye, a dark, malicious gleam burning in his Egyptian blue irises. "Such a needy little thing, aren't you?" He teased you.

But you no longer cared about his teasing. With your lips swollen and red, your heart racing and the core pulsing in despair on his experienced fingers, you were already surrendered.

"Please. I n-need." You mumbled submissively, rummaging your hips in his hand.

"I bet if I wanted to fuck you against my desk, here and now, you would be very happy to do it, wouldn't you?"

He was foisting all of his dominance on you, bending you to your knees for him. And you knew that. You knew he was taking years of anger out on you. But you couldn't care less. You wanted him. Ardently. Desperately. And if it was a good girl Kaz wanted, damn it, you would be a good girl for him.

You readily agreed, your eyes shining in supplication.

“Good.” Kaz pulled you brutally off the wall, turning you over to the table and pushing your chest against the icy wood, pulling your hips at him. “Because that's exactly what is going to happen.”

Suddenly, desire and hunger roared like a wild beast. Kaz watched you, bent over his desk, obedient, surrendered, offering every inch of your body to him.

His breath was burning in his throat and it was no longer possible to order his thoughts, contain his euphoria. He would fuck you so hard that it would make that memory the only thought when you remembered him. When you dare to rebut his orders.

Kaz pulled you skirt up and your panties down, letting out a groan that sounded more like a growl as he saw your wet core. Pulsing and desperate for him. For anything he wanted to give you. It sparked a fervent desire that Brekker had never felt in his life, devastating any possibility of thinking about anything other than fucking you.

Playing with your fingers in your slick, wet folds, you whimpered again, the core pulsing whenever he teased you inside, pressing his fingertips there but never entering.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" His voice came over the top of your shoulder, hoarse, animalistic, full of profane desires.

"Please." You were quick to beg “I do what you want! But just...please, please… ”

You already felt your eyes watering from over-stimulation, your heart burning so hard it was beating, your core aching from emptiness.

You sealed the end of the game between you. Kaz had won. In a triumphant checkmate.

And you didn't have to beg again. Barely seeing when he unbuttoned his pants, you just reasoned his hard, hot, pulsating member by opening your from the inside. Claiming everything that was yours as his in a strong, desperate, hungry lunge.

"S-sir!" You screamed, your nails scraping the wood from the table, the core pulsing overwhelmingly around his rigid member.

In a more badly lunge, Kaz sank completely into you, moaning loudly as he hit rock bottom. The gloved hand slid over your shoulder, propelled you to him while the bare hand tightened on your waist, hitting you at a steady, raw, animalistic rhythm.

The sounds were pornographic, dirty and loud, echoing off the walls. The air was hot like molten lava, pungent and muffled, driving you two lost breath. Their bodies clashed as if the world was going to end tomorrow, in aggressive, rough thrusts. These were thrusts that made half of his things on the table fall to the floor, mixing in a mess that would serve as a reminder later about the sinful activities you two did.

You screamed when Kaz took on more force, his fingers squeezing you so hard that they would leave you with marks on your shoulder and waist the next day.

"Fucking hell!" Kaz snarled between his teeth, feeling your flesh throb around him, squeezing he with such desperation that he knew you were close.

You sobbed, tears streaming down the corners of your eyes as you pushed your ass towards him, trying to bring him as deep as possible, as deep inside you as possible. But every time his pelvis smashed into your ass, a loud moan and the feeling of being completely full drowned you.

You begged, pleaded, for something you didn't know. But Kaz seemed to know. Taking both hands to your hips, your pace became even more unperturbed, pushing you to the limit until you cum in a scream in his name, your lungs on fire. Kaz came close behind, sinking as deep as possible and pouring all the hot liquid into you. Almost like a brand.

The air was filled with sex, lust and desire, filled only by the sound of their ragged breaths that struggled to stabilize.

You were still panting when Kaz's voice came after you: "Whatever I want, don't I?"

A deal with the devil.

[mystic-deep]

"Sensei said girls love swans." | Okkotsu Yuuta x fem!reader

♡ ♡ ♡ description: Just a small box of chocolates, bought on a whim, gifted for no apparent reason. Or so you say.

♡ ♡ ♡ warnings: none, good bad advices from Gojo.

♡ ♡ ♡ notes: I'm working on three other stories with Nanami, Gojo and Toji but had to write something for best boy Yuuta. We're getting volume 0 animated! This was done at the speed of light so please forgive any errors.

♡ ♡ ♡ word count: 2.29 k

Valentine’s Day was quite a surprise this year. You didn’t expect the world to just revert back to old habits so soon, but then again you understood the craving for what was once considered normal. More than a year had passed since the Shibuya incident and with Gojo Satoru finally being released from his prison, things were slowly calming down.

Two major changes came as a result of the near annihilation of Tokyo, one was that now the world was aware of the existence of curses and two was the high number of people that had awoken cursed energy. What were once empty classrooms and training grounds of the Jujutsu Tokyo High School, were now filled with first year students ready to learn from the best. Although the older generation was composed of just a handful of students, they were really the top of the Jujutsu world.

All of your senpais were impressive in their own right so all of them had gathered quite a following of first years. The most popular, by far, was Fushiguro Megumi, the one that possessed the Ten Shadows Technique of the Zen’in clan. A lethal combination of looks, power and status, or so your classmates claimed.

On the opposite end of the spectrum was the third year Okkotsu Yuuta. He was a rare sight on campus and whenever he was present he didn’t interact much with any of the first years. The first time you’ve met him was during a group mission where he was there to supervise. The curse ended up being a special grade and if Yuuta hadn’t jumped in to help you, you’d all be dead. You still remember the bitterness of your classmates when he offered his feedback. Clearly he was right on all points but he didn’t honey glazed any of his words. That incident had caused a string of nasty rumours to spread and everyone in your class began to avoid him as much as possible. You guessed no one was in a hurry to offer him any gifts today.

As for yourself, you tagged along with some of the girls from your class as they chose the best chocolates for their favourite senpais. You didn’t have anyone you really wanted to gift them to, so you bought a small box purely for selfish reasons.

You headed back to campus and as you approached the training grounds you noticed that a small crowd of students were already gathered there. In the middle of them stood Megumi whose arms could barely hold the large number of gifts he had received. The deadpan expression on his face made it clear he wasn’t enjoying the attention.

“You girls better hurry, Megumi-kun looks like he has reached his limit.”

Turning around you were greeted by Gojo who was also carrying quite an impressive quantity of Valentine’s gifts.

“Sensei is really popular.”

“Please don’t sound so surprised.”

As your little conversation went on, your friends quickly abandoned you in order to join the crowd.

“Not gonna join them?” You shook your head as your hands tighten on the handle of your backpack where your box of chocolates was hiding.

“I didn’t buy any chocolates...I mean I did buy chocolates just not for...I should probably head to class.” Feeling too ashamed to admit your selfish purchase, you hurried down the path to the main entrance before Gojo could question you further.

Just as you were about to reach your destination you suddenly noticed a figure not too far from you. Yuuta was strolling along the same path and his expression was not a happy one. Your earlier guess must have been correct judging by his slumped shoulders. Now you never truly worried yourself with his well being, but it just felt so incredibly unfair that he was marginalized like this. At the end of the day, even if he wasn’t easy to talk to, he was a responsible senpai who wouldn’t hesitate to jump in to help others when needed. With that thought in mind, you quickened your pace and called out to him.

“Okkotsu-senpai! Okkotsu-senpai, please wait!”

He stopped in his track and turned to look at you with a surprised expression.

“Y/n-chan, are you okay?”

You nodded as you caught up with him, impressed that he even bothered to remember your name, and opened your backpack to retrieve the box of chocolates.

“For you senpai, Happy Valentine’s Day!” You gave him the most sincere smile you could muster and handed him the small box. Oh well, better for your cavities you suppose.

With a trembling hand he took the small gift and grinned from ear to ear. “Thank you! I’ll treasure it!” It was just a box of cheap chocolates, you thought, definitely not worth the excitement.

“Urm I’m happy you like them. Anyway, have a good day, see you around!” You practically dashed to your classroom, cheeks red from embarrassment. You didn’t know why you were so nervous or why that silly grin of his made you so flustered.

As you sat down at your desk, you wondered if you did the right thing. You didn’t want him to believe you had feelings for him and you also hoped he didn’t think you did it out of pity. You just thought it was the right thing to do at that time and it was just a small gesture, definitely not worth a second thought.

Or so you hoped until White Day arrived and you found quite a surprising gift on your desk that morning. A large bouquet of roses, there must have been over a hundred. No note though, as if the person that had left them just expected for you to know whom they were from.

You could hear the whispers of your classmates and you shifted uncomfortably. You weren’t really popular, no reasons for someone to give you such an impressive present, so of course rumours began to spread.

As you sat on a bench during lunch break with the bouquet in your lap, you raked up your brain trying to figure out who would offer you flowers.

“Oh no, you don’t like them!”

Yuuta’s voice brought you back to reality and you blinked ever so slowly as you looked at his worried expression. Your eyes dropped to the red roses in your lap and then back to your senpai that was just a few feet away from the bench you were sitting.

“These...these are from you?” Well you did gift him that box of chocolates and this was White Day, technically he was supposed to return the gift. Still, a cheap box of bonbons couldn’t compare to the expensive bouquet that he had gifted back.

“Gojo-sensei said you’re supposed to buy something impressive in order to show your appreciation for the gift you received. I didn’t know what you liked and he suggested roses, he said all girls loved red roses.”

Of course it was Gojo Satoru, it was always Gojo Satoru.

“Senpai, thank you, but this is too much! Those chocolates weren’t really that expensive.”

“No, no, they were pretty good! I ended up eating the whole box! Gojo-sensei tried to steal one away, that didn’t end up well for him.” Good, you thought, he deserved it for unnecessarily complicating things.

“Well if you say so, then I’m happy. I’ve never received flowers before, well my father bought me a bouquet when I graduated middle school but I don’t think that counts.”

“I’ve never received chocolates before, so I guess we’re both at the beginning.” The beginning of what, you wondered, as he offered you a somewhat sly smile.

“I should get these to my room before they wither.”

“Yeah I should probably head to the training ground.” You said your respective farewells before going in opposite directions. This had been awkward to say the least and you were glad it was over.

However, naivety got the best of you. The next morning you were greeted by a large teddy bear that was placed in your seat. Your eyebrow began to twitch as you heard whispers spreading in the classroom.

“Hey is that from Okkotsu? Super creepy!”

“Yeah, poor Y/n-chan.”

“What do you mean by that?” Your patience had reached its limit and with narrowed eyes you turned to look at the girls you heard whispering.

“Don’t you know, Okkotsu curses his lovers!”

“Yeah, he becomes obsessed with them and then they die in mysterious ways!”

“That is literally the most idiotic thing I’ve heard in my life.” Sure, you knew the story of Rika, but from actual reliable sources you also knew that it was a tragic accident that happened when Yuuta was only a child. It was disturbing how they twisted the story just because they were afraid of him.

“If you have this much time to waste on spreading such stupid rumours then I suggest you channel that energy in training. Otherwise you’ll be stuck at grade 4 until the end of days.” As a grade 2 sorcerer yourself, maybe you shouldn’t have looked down on them, but for some reason the way they were acting towards Yuuta was just infuriating and you found yourself becoming quite protective.

You never snapped at them like this before, if anything you were considered quite docile, so the whole class fell silent. You grabbed the giant teddy bear from your seat and stomped towards the door, nearly bumping into Gojo as the later stepped inside the room.

“Where you going Y/n-chan? Class is about the start.”

“I’m going to find Yuuta!” You huffed and walked out of the classroom, knowing full well that you will probably get punished for your actions.

“Y/n-chan is so determined! Everyone, you should have more determination as well!” That was the last thing you heard as Gojo closed the door behind you.

You began your search for Yuuta, trying to ignore the looks that the faculty members you came across were giving you. You must have looked quite ridiculous, carrying that large teddy bear around.

You finally found him near the armoury, and judging from his sweaty appearance you guessed he had just finished training.

“Senpai!”

He looked at you, almost in a panicked way and you quickened your pace so he couldn’t make a run for it.

“Y/n-chan, what-”

“Senpai, this has to stop.” You really didn’t want to tell him your real motives from that day but you also couldn’t let this chain of gifts continue.

“That box of chocolates wasn’t initially for you. I bought it for myself, I only gave it to you because senpai looked so upset. I’m sorry that you misunderstood, it’s not pity or anything, I just thought you deserved it.” You didn’t even stop to breath, you had to let it all out and explain before you lost your nerve. “I’m really happy you liked them but I don’t deserve all these presents in return.”

You looked at him and expected to see anger or disappointment, instead you were greeted with light laughter.

“You’re really cute! Maki-san said not to tease you too much because you’re such a good girl. I guess she didn’t realize how much of a good girl you actually are.” The way he said ‘good girl’ made your heart skip a beat. It sounded almost provocative.

Within a second, he had closed the distance between the two of you and his hand reached to stroke your cheek ever so gentle. Suddenly he was there and you became hyperaware of his powerful presence. You noticed the pretty colour of his eyes, how his hand was just a bit rough and how that small smirk of his made your knees weak and your cheeks burn. You gulped and he seemed to enjoy your reaction.

“I don’t mind that the box of chocolates wasn’t for me. I’m just glad it gave me the opportunity to talk to you.” At this point you felt so bad you hoped the earth beneath you would just crack open and swallow you whole.

“Anyway, you should probably head to class before Gojo-sensei gets upset. Let me get that for you.” He reached for the teddy bear in your arms but you gripped it and pulled back.

“I would like to keep this, it’s a special gift from senpai and I’ll treasure it.” Sure this all began because of a silly box of chocolates but you were also happy that you finally got to see a glimpse of him that not many people got the chance to see. Now that you had a taste of it, you wanted more.

“Well I wasn’t planning on taking it away, just wanted to help you carry it.”

“It’s fine, the whole school saw me already so I might as well parade with it back to class.”

He studied your face for a few moments before his expression turned serious.

“Y/n-chan, do you think we could go-”

“I’d love to go on a date!”

You beat him to it but you wanted to make sure he knew, even before asking, that you really wanted to get to know him better.

“I see, I’m really happy.” His hand reached for yours and gripped it gently. It never failed to surprise you how cool and confident he looked at times and then he did a one hundred eighty and turned into this awkward and adorable mess.

“I must admit this is the first time I’ve asked someone out. I’ll be sure to ask Gojo-sensei-”

“Oh no, please promise me to never ask Gojo-sensei for advice concerning girls.” He was probably laughing like a mad man while giving Yuuta such cringe worthy ideas for your gifts.

“Oh but sensei said girls love swans and-”

“Never!”

[just-a-quirkless-loser]

The Days of Your Youth

Young Enji Todoroki x F! Reader

Hanahaki Trope + BNHA Universe

Words: 5.9k

Warnings: Angst, Enji is an asshole, sexual content, A bit of the redemption arc at the end, graphic descriptions of violence, Characters are 18+

Asagao flowers bloom so beautifully in Sakai; what a shame that Musutafu is four hours away from those gorgeous flowers. So, you knew whenever Enji came bearing the dark blue edged flowers with purple insides, that he had endured the voyage to get them. It was small things like this that made you fall in love with him. If only you didn’t, then maybe you'd still be alive.

The two of you met in your youth when you both attended U.A. High School, both of you having dreams of being the number one pro-hero for the next generation. You hated him at first, which is understandable seeing as he’s brash and cares for no one but himself. He always argues with you, he doesn’t hold back during training, and he has an unhealthy obsession with your childhood best friend Toshinori Yagi, known to the public as All Might.

Your quirk was strong, the ability to heal from any wound and regeneration of your limbs but, he made you feel trivial in comparison to him.

“You can take a bullet, great. How useless that would be in a battle with a villain? You can’t even inflict any damage,” his words stung. All your life, you’d been ridiculed as having a “rescue” quirk, always being told that you’d never have the chance to fight “real villains.” You wanted to prove them all wrong...although, you didn’t prove anything in the end.

Because of the nature of your quirk, you were often paired with Enji whenever it was time to spar. He’d hit you with his fire, blistering your skin with no mercy. He’d knock your teeth down your throat, making you cough blood at his feet. He’d choke you with your own support weapon, making you feel weaker than what you thought you were. He made your life a living hell. So, how did you fall in love with him?

Your love didn’t happen overnight. Actually, the relationship between the two of you changed drastically after that day. The day is clear in the archives of your mind, almost like you’re watching a movie through your own eyes.

“Are you sure you can handle Todoroki today?” you were walking to the training rooms with Toshinori Yagi. He loomed over you as he glanced anxiously at the man in question. Everyone knew about the obvious tension between the two young men however, that day was different. Something primal was lurking in Enji’s glance whenever he looked your way.

“Regeneration, remember? I’ll be fine,” you pat the large man on the back. “Plus, I don't think he could kill me even if he tried.”

“I’m just worried. He’s off today. More confrontational.”

“He’s like this every day, Toshi. He’s probably just on his man period or something.”

“...Y/N, you do now men don’t have menstrual cycles? Right?”

“Yes, Toshi, you’ve told me dozens of times. It’s just a metaphor...till I can get some proof,” he facepalms as you rub your hands together to mimic scheming hands. “He’ll have to take his clothes off eventually.”

“You’re a menace to society; I love it,” you lean against each other as you laugh, attracting the attention of your classmates. “But, seriously, I’m worried.”

“Toshi, I will be perfectly fine. What’s the worst that can happen?”

***

“More! Get up,” you were gripping the right pant leg of Enji’s training suit, trying to pull yourself up to face him again. You body begged you to stay down but your mind -your pride- forced you up. The right side of your face was scorched. One of your eyes was missing from its socket. The guns you normally wield for support were thrown elsewhere, leaving you vulnerable to his onslaught. “You’re pathetic. U.A. isn’t meant for the weak. You don’t belong here with us.”

“You don’t get to tell me where I belong,” you charge to attack, switching your technique at the last minute so you could throw a hard jab to his abdomen. He countered with raising both of his fists above his head in a gorilla fashion and slammed them down on your spine, once again taking you to the mat. But, this time you heard a crack from your spine.

“I don’t know why you waste my time. Sensei just needs to let Yagi and I fight,” you laid at his feet paralyzed. However, the inability to move doesn’t hinder your ability to speak.

“Awww, Todoroki, you miss your boyfriend? I knew you had a hard on for him,” and, while you felt there was nothing wrong with being homosexual, you knew Todoroki was a traditional man who wouldn’t want a rumor like that to be spread. You snicker at his silence. “Must be true if you haven’t denied it.”

Words are meaningless if he can show you with his actions. He wastes no time dropping to his knees so he can lean over you, pushing you into your back as he slaps your face from side to side.

“You,” smack. “Have,” smack. “Issues,” smack.

“ENJI,” you hear Yagi yell in the background as rushes in to save you from your beating. Toshinori’s strong hands pull Todoroki up by the scruff of his neck, looking at the bloody mess your body has come to be, checking to see the rise and fall of your chest before he deals with the man he’s holding. “You could have killed her!”

“She can’t die,” to prove his point, Enji encircles your form with a ring of Fire, the smoke clogging your lungs as your skin is barely holding its form. However, you don’t feel the familiar tingling sensation of your regeneration.

“It doesn’t matter if she can’t die. She’s still human!”

“I’m making her stronger.”

“You’re abusing her,” they both glance down to see that you’ve stopped twitching. You look like you’ve been hit by a land mine: body bloodied, bones exposed, missing limbs. The smoke has cover you in a fine layer of soot, the particles of your own flesh smothered in your nose. “Fuck, Y/N? Y/N?! ANSWER ME! PLEASE! SENSEI!”

There’s only a few things you can recollect clearly. You were rushed to the hospital and you could hear the urgency in Yagi’s voice. If you closed your eyes long enough, you could still see your Sensei’s face looming over yours as he tried to get your attention. The smell of Enji still invades your nose whenever you remember how he sat next to you in the ambulance. You think he felt guilty for letting his desire to measure up to Yagi blind him once again. It’s just a shame that you had to be beat close to death’s door for him to feel remorseful.

You awoke to an obnoxious beeping to your left, a throbbing pain in you head, and a nuisance fire wielder to your right (you had to do a double take to make sure he didn’t beat the sense out of you).

“You’re awake.”

“No thanks to you,” he winces.

“Let’s just be thankful you’re alive.”

“Unfortunately.”

“That wasn’t a funny joke.”

“Who said it was a joke?” you spot Asagao flowers on your bedside. “Who brought the flowers?”

“I did.”

You move to sit up but hiss and grab your side. “Welp, that’s new.”

“Take it easy,” Enji rises and gingerly presses you back into the bed.

“You expect me to believe you spent eight flowers just to bring me flowers?”

“Yagi told me they’re your favorite. I figured it’d be a good way to start amending for what I’ve done.”

“You almost killed me. All because you have a superiority complex that I’ve done nothing to fuel. And, you call yourself a future hero?” you snort. “Oh, wait, let me correct myself, you call yourself the future NUMBER ONE hero!?” you turn to face him so he can’t escape your eyes. “Everyone’s right about what they say about you. You’d do anything if it meant you’d have a chance at facing Toshinori. You don’t care how many people get hurt in the crossfire. As long as you win this competition Toshinori doesn’t even know he’s a part of,” you laugh at the irony.

“What part of ‘I'm sorry’ do you not understand?” Enji growls as he pushes your body into the hospital bed, face coming to stare you down.

“What part of ‘you almost killed me’ do you not understand?” you return his energy with a sneer. “You don’t intimidate me; I’m not some bitch that will tuck her tail and run just because you try to throw a hissy fit.”

“You’re playing with the wrong person, little girl,” he fingers caress the side of your cheek.

‘Once again, this dude has issues.’

“I’m definitely playing with the right person. You need someone to knock you down a few pegs,” and this was when the doctor came to check on your condition, catching Enji and yourself so close that your foreheads were touching. His hands were parted on the sides of you as he puffed out some smoke through his nose.

“Sorry, lovebirds. I should’ve knocked. I’m Doctor Sugo and I have a few questions,” you nod in comprehension.

“Fire them off,” you intentionally use those words to make Enji tense. After years of verbal, physical, and psychological abuse, this was your opportunity to exact your revenge.

“You came in with extensive burns, missing limbs, choking around your neck, blackened lungs, and, it looked as though you died from asphyxiation. Your sensei notified us of your quirk, however, your behavior was reckless and had unforeseen consequences. I doubt you burned yourself alive. Did someone try to kill you?” this was your chance to end Todoroki’s chance of being a hero and end this silly game he’s created in his mind. It would’ve been easy.

“No, we were sparring and it got intense. Enji wanted to stop but I’ve been pushing my quirk limits to the maximum with the coming of our graduation. He lost control of his quirk,” you’ve never been the type to do things the easy way. “I apologize for the trouble my actions have caused.”

“Are you sure this wasn’t a young-domestic abuse situation?” he eyes Enji’s burly frame.

“No, Enji would never hurt me,” to prove your point, you intertwine your fingers with his and kiss the back of his hand, maintaining eye-contact with him. He blew more puffs of smoke into your face.

“In that case, I’ll notify your Sensei of what happened. Just let me check your vitals and I’ll leave the two of you to talk,” the whole time the doctor was in the room, Enji kept blowing smoke. You figured it was something he did when he was uncomfortable but, you couldn't be sure this was the first time you witnessed something like that in person. You both waited a couple of seconds after the doctor left before you continued the actual conversation.

“What the fuck was that?”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you cuss...Do it again,” he gives you a pointed look.

“Answer the question.”

“For someone that’s ranked at the top of your class, you’re pretty dense. It’s simple; I’m blackmailing you.”

“Why?”

“Because, you need to be held accountable for your actions and, selfishly, I want to make your life a living hell. It wouldn’t be practical to let a strong quirk like yours to be sent to prison for attempted murder; you’re useful to the world and there’s no way I can’t acknowledge that you’d be formidable if you chose to become a villain due to my inability to keep my emotions in check,” he just stares. You spot Toshinori in the door frame and wave. “Toshi! Come in. I was just explaining to Enji what’s going to happen to him from now on.”

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “Are you sure this is a good idea. He tried to kill you.”

“Shut it, Toshi. You’re too loud,” you roll your eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. This is perfect.”

And, it was perfect. Graduating U.A. High felt unreal at times; it felt even more bizarre as you managed to become a pro-hero alongside your friend, Toshinori, and your personal butler, Enji. Yep, he became your butler as a way to repent for his actions (his words, not yours) and you actually found his company enjoyable when he wasn’t engrossed with beating Yagi. He’s dedicated to the tasks you give him, even if they’re demeaning like walking around with a collar (the press had a field day with that one) or task oriented (like making you fresh coffee whenever you please).

“ENJIIIIIIII,” you’ve taken to bothering him immensely. “Put on this skirt.”

“Y/N, I’m not putting on that skirt. It would tarnish my image.”

“Hm, guess I’ll have to call Sensei. He'd probably believe me if I said you attacked me again. I mean, I’m just an innocent woman. I could just say I was scared the first time,” and that’s how Enji Todoroki was seen wearing a skirt for training multiple times. In all fairness, he looked like a menacing kitten. And, you've grown to like him. Maybe, it was his guilt for almost murdering you but, he found himself showing you tenderness as well. He just couldn't hate you no matter what you did.

“You idiot. I told you not to jump in front of me,” he was carrying your limp body in his arms as though you were his bride. Holding close to his heart, he could feel the warmth of your breath on his chest.

“Why wouldn’t I? I can’t have you dying on me yet. I haven’t gotten you to dress in drag yet,” blood spills from your ears as you blank out of consciousness. There were plenty of times you protected Enji from a villains attack and each time you told yourself you did it because you wanted to continue to blackmail him to be by your side. But, you just wanted him to yourself.

As the years roll on, you find yourself getting closer and closer to him, just barely missing his flames. You became used to patrolling with him as the Pro-Hero ‘Zombie.’ You enjoy going to Sakai in search of the perfect flowers. You treasure being able to see him every day. But, it’s not all peaches and cream.

“Enji, get over it. Toshi worked hard to be first,” you’re arguing again. Two years after the incident and he still hasn’t let go of his yearning to be the best. While sometimes you want to admire his hard work, you can’t help but question his motives. He’s lost the very reason he wanted to become a hero.

“Toshi just leaves to go to America, didn’t tell you, comes back to climb the ranks of the hero charts, and you’re just okay with that? Meanwhile, you lose your mind on me after I don’t answer your call on the first few rings?” he’s sitting on your bed, his jogging pants hanging down dangerously low on his navel, a few red hairs peeking at you. You lick your lips.

“I’m not saying what he did was okay but, you’re blowing this out of proportion. You’re twenty years old. You need to let go of this foolish rivalry,” you throw your legs over his lap. “It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not having this argument with you again. You always take his side,” you slap his chest, gulping at the strong pecs. You wonder how’d they feel bearing down on your back as he-

“Y/N, are you listening?”

“Flamehead, you know I don’t listen to dumb shit,” he puffs out smoke in irritation. “But, I’m not taking his side. I just think we’re getting too old for this.”

“That’s what you always say,” and you laid there with him watching t.v. The conversation ends like it always does but, you can tell Enji isn’t upset with you. It’s the same routine you always follow whenever he wants to talk about Toshinori’s “false achievements.”

Somehow, you end up cuddled into his chest, head pressed firmly into his neck as you feel the warmness of his pulse move underneath you. His arms keep you against him, caging your legs around his hips (it takes a lot to keep your mind from wandering off).

His fingers play with the exposed skin of your back, leaving scorching trails around his fingertips.

“Are you hungry? I still can cook-” Enji’s phone goes off. He gets up and softly pushes you to the side, answering his phone as he absentmindedly rubs your hair. He’s soon getting up to get his things, pulling on his hoodie and ending the call, staring at the phone for a few seconds.

“Who has you up and in a hurry?” you’re kneeling at the edge of the bed, his jacket in your fist to keep him from leaving.

“My finacé’s family.”

‘Fiancé?’

“Fiancé? Who is she?”

“I don’t know yet. All I know is that her quirk is the perfect compliment to mine, which is the only thing that I need,” he’s pulling away. You’re speechless. Is-Is this jealousy? Is this bubbling fury jealousy? Is this small pain jealousy? Is this mind-numbing sensation jealousy? You can't be jealous. Not of some woman you don’t even know. “I have to go. I need to get ready to meet her?”

“B-But, you don’t even know her!”

“I know she’ll ensure that I beat All Might,” so, that's what this was about. Another last ditch effort to win something with no prize. You should’ve known those touches meant nothing but, how could you when they felt so tender? “Plus, you shouldn’t care. Soon, we’d both have to leave and start our own families; this would have had to happen eventually.”

“You don’t love her. You just want to beat him,” you slump down, your calves touching the back of your thighs as you feel a stirring in your chest. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret when you’re older.”

“That’s not your concern. I’ve got to go.”

You cough up an Asagao flower, staring at it with trepidation.

‘Oh shit.’

The next time you see him is two weeks later. His hair is still styled upwards, his scowl has deepened making him look older than what he really is, his eyes darker than before. Both of you sit one a rooftop, starting over Musutafu. His body is curled in on itself, the flames of his suit keeping you warm in the brisk fall night. Part of his arm is slung over your shoulder, drawing you into his side.

“Have you ever been in love, Enji?” you see him puff out a few smoke clouds, a telltale sign that you've either made him embarrassed or uncomfortable. “Like, real love? The type of love that doesn’t go away no matter how much you try to kill it?”

“You know I don’t have time for sentiments like that,” he looks at your wistful expression, wondering to himself how you manage to look even more breathtaking than the last time he saw you.

“But, what if you could fall in love? What if things like time and being a hero didn’t matter? Wouldn't you want that?”

“No, there’s no girl good enough for me or my love,” such sweet lies sound true coming from him and that burns you more than his fire ever has.

“What about marriage? Kids?”

“You already know I have an arranged quirk marriage. I met her and she is adequate enough to give me a child fit to be the number one hero of the new generation.”

“Jeez, you sound like you’re quoting a business proposal.”

“It is business,” he sounds like he’s scolding you for not knowing this. You feel your stomach fill with more flowers and you feel some crawling up your throat. It’s suffocating you but, you chalk that up to your nerves bothering you. “I’m guessing you brought this up because you think you’re ‘in love.’ “

“I know I am,” you stop your sentence to cough into your arm, catching a few Asagao flowers in your elbow. So, this is how you’re going to die? Dying from a disease that even your regeneration can’t save you from? Choking on flowers because Enji can’t reciprocate your feelings? “As you can see, it’s one sided.”

“Leave them alone. Feelings go away,” but, they didn’t. It just got worse and worse and worse. Because, as much as you knew you should leave Enji, you just couldn’t. Your heart longed for him. Your heart belonged to him. And, Toshinori couldn't understand why.

“Y/N, please, I don’t understand why you'd die for someone that wants nothing to do with you,” Toshinori chided. “Get the surgery. They can take the feelings out. I’ll be right by your side to help you.”

“You’d never understand, Toshi. You'd never understand waking up every morning, wanting someone so bad you have no motivation to do anything but lay in your own tears. I’d rather die loving him than pretend I never felt these feelings at all.”

“But, why?”

“Because, he’s hurt me so much; this is my last ‘fuck you’ to him. Because, I know one day he’ll change. One day, he'll want to see me and I'll be dead. I want him to feel the same pain that I feel now. He needs to feel my rage, he needs to feel my abandon. HE NEEDS TO FEEL ME!”

“Y/N, I’ve already lost Nana. I can’t lose you too.”

“I love you, Toshinori Yagi. Be great for me,” and that’s the last thing you ever said to your childhood best friend.

***

When you opened the door, Enji wasn’t expecting to see you only in a long shirt, tuffets of a flower stuffed in your mouth.

“What the fuck, Y/N? You look like shit. You can’t open the door like that,” he comes in and you immediately cling to him.

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you Enji.”

“You can’t be.”

“But, I am,” you hold one of your saliva covered flowers to his heart. Your eyes are tired and barely stay open but you can't take your eyes off of him. “This is for you. All of them are for you. Loving you is killing me,” you laugh at the irony. Who would’ve thought Enji would end up killing you anyway?

“Then, stop,” Enji rips the flower from your fingers and throws it to the side. You dive for the flower, causing him to follow you down to your floor. “Let it go.”

“I can’t. It’s all I have right now,” you’re sobbing while retching up flowers. His arms encase you, almost like he’s trying to keep you from falling apart. “I can’t just let go. I can’t just stop loving you, Enji.”

He doesn’t really say anything to you. Maybe, he’s too stunned or maybe he’s too afraid he’ll say the wrong thing but, he finds that it’s better to just hold you.

“Enji, could you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“Could you make love to me?” he can’t deny you your wish with how pitiful you look. So, he scoops you up in his arms and takes you to your bedroom, heart pumping hard at what he’s about to do. He’s getting married in a week yet, he’s here about to give his body to you.

Laying your body down on the bed, he watches as your covers fan around your head like a halo and, for a moment, he wonders if that’s what you would look like as an angel. Ethereal and tired. The air in the room is growing hotter as he sweats, nervous to strip you down. He’s no stranger to sex but, this is the first time he’s ever focused on someone else’s pleasure.

“Just, lay there.”

“What the fuck else am I going to do? Run off,” he chuckles. Leave it to you to find some comedy in your weakest moments. He starts with stripping you of your long shirt -actually, his shirt that had gone missing the last time he stayed at your house- and stares at your body, naked and exposed to the air.

He takes a few minutes to take in your beauty, ghosting over your skin as he watches you quiver in anticipation. Your eyes are blown and a petal is on your cheek, reminding him of what had happened to you. Your hands wrap around his forearm as you silently beg him to touch you.

“Always have been needy,” when he kisses you, it makes your toes curl from his smokey breath. Envisioning his taste held no comparison to what he really was. It’s like he was breathing his smoke into your lungs, making sweat bead on your skin.

His hand grasps your neck and you moan at the warmth that he gives you, toes curling at the pressure he puts on your throat. The flowers slide down your esophagus, allowing some of your essence to mix with his. He’s weighing you down into your mattress as he’s ripping off his shirt, buttons flying everywhere as he tries to shimmy out of his pants. His kisses trail down the column of your neck and he’s groaning at the way you whine. Your body reacts so wonderfully to his touch.

“You should have told me sooner; you could’ve had all of my cock before this,” you giggle at his attempt of dirty talk. It’s weird to have the proper and correct Enji speaking naughty in your ear. “Damnit, woman, will you stop laughing? I’m trying to be romantic.”

“I can’t help it. You're like Recovery Girl whenever she tries to be cool.”

“Why did you have to bring her up?” he drops his head on your navel. “Are you trying to kill my erection?”

You did a mouth zipping motion and laid your hands on his shoulders, looking down your body to catch him staring at you as he licked below your belly button. The sensation of his textured tongue against your smooth skin is almost enough to send you into your orgasm. He brings his arms up to grab your breasts in his hands as he continues to slide down to your slit. Your smaller body is completely open to him as he tongues your small clit, keeping your legs spread around your head.

“Enjiiiiii, please,” you beg for your release. The inner sadist inside of Enji preens as you beg, his mind thinking you look beautiful at his mercy with a few tears in your eyes. He plunges his tongue inside your hole, only shallowly fucking your tight hole. He brings one of his hands beside his mouth, which is an awkward position for his large frame, and pushes his finger inside your tightness till he’s met with some resistance. You’re met with wide eyes.

“You didn’t tell me you were a virgin.”

“You never asked.”

“I’m serious, Y/N. If I didn’t find out, were you just going to let me pound into you,” he smacks your thigh as a way to punish you.

“As long as it’s you, I’d let you use me like a doll,” the words incite a new type of fire in Enji’s body. He gets hotter as he enjoys the words of someone that’s completely submitted to his control.

“Then, I’ll use you till I can’t use you anymore,” he places one last kiss to your hole and slivers up your body. Everything about this moment is perfect for you; the man you love is hovering above you as he looks at you with adoration and desire.

“Are you ready?” His forehead is leaned on yours as he wavers on top of you, his cock kissing the entrance of your folds. You can’t speak due to the flowers that are lodged in your throat, so you nod as you stare into his eyes. For the first time, you can feel the love he has for you. If only this moment could last forever for you as it would for him.

The first few moments of him stretching you make you whimper in his ear, your nails cutting into his back as you try to ground yourself in the moment. He tries to push into you at a slow pace, bottoming out and sitting there for you to adjust. Your pussy clenches him like a vice, testing his self control as he wants to grab you by your waist and use you like a fuck doll.

It’s hard not to scream when he pulls back slightly and snaps his hips into your own. Both of you are breathing into each other's face as he fucks you with slow, deep thrusts, pulling your hips to meet his thrusts in an angle.

“Such a problematic woman. Couldn’t just tell me you loved me,” you whine as he sits up on his knees and begins to fuck you with fevor. His cock rubs against that spongy spot in your pussy, pushing you toward your first orgasm. “Such a bad girl. I didn’t tell you to cum yet.”

“Enjiiii please fuck please I’ll be good for you,” he smiled through the pleasure that rips through him and pulled out of you to lay on his side behind you. He wasted no time lifting one of your legs and pushed into your heat, fucking you deeper in this position. He could now see the way you try to push your hips against his, fucking you with a patronizing smile.

“Such a horny girl,” you moan into your hands as you try to hide yourself from his gaze but he rips your arms away from your face, forcing you to scream for him. He makes it a point to fuck you harder as he’s addicted to your beautiful voice. “Scream for me little girl.”

“Dadddyyy gonna cum again,” your tearing u again as he keeps brutalizing your pussy.

“Oh I’m daddy now,” he’s grunting as he feels you clench again. You give him no answer as you cum once again, this time pulling him into his orgasm as you feel him spurt deep in your womb. But, even though he cums, he doesn’t stop. He’s determined to fuck you into oblivion.

“I’m not done with you, keep cumming in my cock,” your toes keep curling as you try to push away from him. However, that makes him wrap his arms around your shoulders and slam you down on his cock, keeping your legs spread as he fucks you so hard some of his cum is dribbling down the side of his cock. You’re shaking hard as your pleasure blinds you, the pressure in your abdomen building in a different way.

“Fuuuuckkk Enjiii, I-I- love you,” clear liquid squirts from your pussy as he slows down his thrusts. You lay there in your juices with his cum splurging out of you once he pulls out of you completely. He leaves you there as he runs you a bath, leaving you to think about what just happened.

He didn’t say he loved you back but, you hoped he would. With gentle hands, he put you into your tub, softly rubbing your hair like he had done many times.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” you smiled over at him. His pants were pulled back on his hips but he couldn’t meet your eyes. “You know I care for you and you know I wouldn’t want to hurt you but, you need to get the surgery. I can’t just love you the way you love me and, I don’t want you to die because of that. I’ll pay for the surgery. I’ll pay for you a new apartment and everything. I’ll even-” you droned him out.

“You know,” you shiver in the warm water as you start to tear up. You hacked up flowers and continued with a shaky voice. “I thought that having sex with you and telling you would make it go away. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I meant more to you than what I thought. I’m such a dumbass. You’ll never love me; you’ll never love anyone but yourself. Why can’t you just be a man and tell me I’m nothing to you compared to whatever the fuck you have with Toshinori? IT’S BEEN YEARSSSS,” you croak out as you sob, your heart hurting. “AND, YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED AT ALL. You’re still the Enji Todoroki that tried to kill me. I just tricked myself into thinking that you were a different person.”

“Y/N-

“Get out,” you turn to the shower wall, too heartbroken to stomach the sight of him.

“Y/N, just listen to-”

“GET OUT,” he goes silent as he looks back at you from the door frame. He wants to say something but, the thought of ruining his future keeps him silent. He leaves with a look of pity for you.

“I’ll leave money for the surgery on the table by your bed,” he calls before he leaves, the door slamming pushing you to your last limit.

And, he left you there to you die in your bathtub alone, body worn from the sex you had with the man that you knew you couldn’t have emotionally. Your flowers soaked up the water as they kept falling, your eyes glued on one of the bruises he left on your leg. It’s too painful to try to move, so you lie there as your quirk does nothing against the disease. Getting the surgery would have saved you but, your body and mind would still remember the pain of your first and last love.

Per your request, Toshinori has your body cremated after they perform the autopsy. The young hero, grieving the loss of his best friend, doesn’t contact Enji to inform him of your timely death. He’s pained that he’ll never see you smile or hear your jokes or call your name and hear you respond. You're gone and part of him feels like he’s the blame. He can’t help but think that things would have turned out differently if he told Enji that he never cared about being the number one hero.

As for Enji, he doesn’t look back as he goes on to have his family. He goes on to marry his wife that he’d always compare to you (her hair wasn’t vibrant as yours, her voice wasn’t as smooth as yours, her eyes don’t set him ablaze like yours did). He goes on to have his kids and he wonders what they would look like if they came from your womb. He goes on to be the number one Pro-hero yet, he doesn’t feel like he’s won anything. He goes on to have a decent relationship with Toshinori yet, he feels as though he’s missing something -someone-.

“Toshinori, do you have Y/N’s number?” he called Toshinori one day, tired of letting his pride get the best of him. He’d grovel at your feet, stay by your side, sleep at your doorstep till you find it to forgive him.

“Enji, she’s dead.”

And, he sits in his house alone. His family has left him, their bonds slowly resurrecting from the dead but still fragile. His career being the only thing he has left, slowly showed him how truly unprofilling his life has been. His love for you, eating away at his heart. Why did he have to be better than Toshinori? Why couldn’t he tell you how much he loved you? Why did he let the both of you waste the days of your youth?

He coughs a single Asagao flower, the process of his unrequited love beginning. Because, let’s face it, how can you return his love if you’re dead?

——————————————————————————-

Tag List💕💕

@orokayagi @sakurashortstack @sinclairsamess

[atsunflower]

Rated: SFW

Author notes: *sigh* for the third time the damned app ate up the tags. This one took me too long and I'm excited for write about my man suna again. This is also pretty different from what I'm used to write, but why not? Please enjoy your reading.

Warnings: cursing, substance usage/mentions, break-ups and me trynna be funny.

I – Cancel me.

Previous || Next

He looked at them with expectation as the beats smoothly faded, indicating the song's ending. 

If he were to be honest, the pair before him was a pain in the ass, but their opinion was that important because, when it came to music, they were the best at it. He felt no shame nor jealousy in admitting it.

"Dunno, the hook sounds like a Vice headline ta me." The bleach-haired male said, hearring the song's outro blaring through the studio speakers.

"Isn't it a Kid Milli reference, tho?" The other asked while munching a chip. He frowned at them, not understanding their point.

"Whatever. You two are no help anyways." Hearring their bullshit, the brunette already regretted this collab. He paused the queued song, turning to the other two with a blank stare.

The twins before him snickered, knowing they successfully hit a nerve. They couldn't help it, provoking Suna was one of their favorite hobbies.

"The song is good, but I gotta tell ya this butt hurt phase of yers is pretty lame." The faux-blond opened his mouth again, spinning around the studio with the desk chair. 

"Fuck you, Atsumu" He snapped, almost giving in to the desire of decking them both on the face.

"Tsumu's right, ya Lil Peep wannabe. Can't believe this break up ended up that bad." Osamu said in mockery, throwing the empty Lay's wrapper at him. He scoffed, disposing the wrapper on the bin before getting back at the screen to look at the FL studio interface.

"It's not that I have a broken heart. I just wanna know what's wrong with my life" He shrugged, blindly tacting over the desk in search of his Juul.

"Yeah Samu, he's just grieving over those fancy ass Dior Jordans. Sunarin is incapable of mundane things like a broken heart." His blond friend was partially right.

Suna Rintaro was many things: alt model, music producer, cloud artist and a decent volleyball player that almost went pro. But if there was something he could never be, it was a lucky man on love matters.

With his fair share of failed relationships, the artist could never pinpoint when things went wrong. It would always be the same: he would meet a girl, they would have a good time and then, the chick would turn out demanding as fuck.

In the end, every single one of them would slap him across the face and leave his life banging the front door shut like crazy — last week, it was Mika who broke things off, but not before setting his limited edition pair of jordans on fire. He would never get over those sneakers.

"Good for him, those kicks were kinda ugly." Osamu said in a bored manner. Suna felt his soul leaving his body.

"The hell, Osamu?" He was ready to fight, deeply offended by the attack at his taste in fashion.

"Yo, you two." Atsumu butted in, checking something on his phone "Y'all are drifting away from our problem."

"That is?" The other brother asked.

"Cheer up Sunarin before he fucks up with the Album." If Suna had the energy, he would kick both Miyas out of his studio "And I gotta the perfect thing. Let's hang out at Akagi's tonight, he just invited us." The already distressed musician felt the soul leaving his body for the second time that afternoon. He was sure both twins wished his death.

"Not a fucking chance. Last time I went there I almost died because of that weird stuff we smoked." 

"Aw, Sunarin, Kita'll be there too." The faux-blonde tried to persuade. The mention of their older, responsible and straight edge friend made Suna look at them with interest. But he needed more, though. Based on the last experience, he didn't have the will to risk his life going to Akagi's house once again. A shiver descended his spine as the male recalled how much he threw up that night.

"Suna, man, I gotta agree with Tsumu. Yer feelings are showing in your music." Osamu said as if he was some kind of genius.

"Isn't art about it, tho?" He deadpanned "Expressing feelings and shit?" He asked, staring them dead in the eye. The males before him shivered because of its intensity. Suna snickered.

"Man says art, but most of his songs are about the Nikes on his feet and the Tesla in his garage." Atsumu mocked "What the fuck?" The blonde barely dodged the moleskine thrown at him.

"Don't chew on me when you do the same, asshat. This is called character development." As unnerving the twins were, he felt a whole lot better in their company "Just lemme produce my sad stuff in peace."

"Cut us some slack, ya dumbfuck. We're just worried about ya." Osamu protested " 'Sides, no wonder no girl sticks by yer side. You know what the chicks find sexy? Seizing the means of production, not yer dumb car."

"You two are so la—" The musician was interrupted mid sentence, startled by the blond figure clutching his phone with enthusiasm.

"Oi Samu," Atsumu's loud voice startled the other two, as he excitedly fisted the air.

"What the fuck?" Suna asked, dropping the Juul on the floor.

"She'll be there tonight." The blond said, looking at his brother with a new wave of joy.

"The fuck? She who?" The brunette frowned.

"Ya gotta go and find out, man." The gray haired twin said with a knowing smile, matching his brother's excitement.

The night out felt somewhat draining. The booze, the music and the company were great, but his lack of energy was a mood killer.

Cheer me up my ass, Suna cursed internally as he observed everyone getting wasted all over the place. He grimaced at the sight, realizing the meeting with the twins was enough social interaction for the day.

He didn't know what's gotten into him. The male knew it wasn't necessarily caused by the break up, but he couldn't help the feeling down.

Right now, life just felt lowkey suffocating. 

Being a public figure meant being under the spotlights the most of time.

People talked.

People assumed.

Media was all over him, ready to catch a scandall.

And of fucking course his name was on gossip headlines. It even occupied a spot on twitter trending topics for a day or so.

"Fuck me." He said before the lukewarm beer went down his throat.

"Sunarin!" He heard Atsumu shouting from his right "I want you to meet someone!" And only now he noticed the blond had his left arm over a girl's shoulders.

Oh, that's the one they were talking about, maybe? the brunette realized. What's the hype, tho? He asked himself, eyeing your figure.

"[Name], this is Suna. Sunarin, this is [Name], best girl ever and the mastermind behind the visuals of mine and Samu's last album" The bleach-haired male said with a proud smirk, ruffling your hair. You were obviously shy.

How cute, the brunette thought.

"Dumbass, don't embarrass me in front of others!" You nudged the Miya with your elbow "Nice to meet you, I saw your name on TMZ last week—" You said beaming and he grunted.

I take it back. Not cute at all, the man internally screamed, not ready to talk about the recent events. He didn't even want to listen to the rest of your speech, your cheery voice went through his ears in a white noise.

"And this makes me really excited for your album. The interview about the collab with dumb and dumber was lit." You continued, the words were genuine and you seemed really interested "And I also relate on a spiritual level because I know working with them is hell."

Oh, she's talking about the album. He realized in relief.

"Yo, I heard good things about you too. The design of their album was hella sick, even though they two suck ass." Suna snickered when he heard Atsumu protesting. You only left out a giggle, joining him on the teasing.

The blond kept ranting about how bad of friends the two of you were.

"I didn't introduce y'all ta gang up on me. Bye, I'm finding another company. Ya two suck." The blonde Miya said, leaving only you and Suna in the sofa area.

"Uh, so…" He drifted off, trying to start some small talk

"Yeah..." You both giggled at the awkwardness "Not enjoying the night?"

"Too much happening right now. Lots of people talking shit 'bout me." He sipped the beer, grimacing at the stale taste of the drink "Hope they cancel me already. So all this shit dies down." Suna looked away, suddenly shy for opening up to a stranger.

"You're a famous guy and the break-up wasn't that scandalous. It'll be over eventually, just beware the sneaker cult." Your amusement was comfort enough. You didn't make intrusive questions about the events and merely joked it off. He felt so worn out by the situation but, at least, your presence wasn't overbearring.

"How is it everyone knows about the jordans?" You shrugged it off, laughing at the distressed face he mocked. Sighing in relief, Suna couldn't deny how refreshing your presence was. Not to be a jerk, but usually, the girls either were all over him or judged every single move he made. You were just that easygoing.

"Well, I don't think you came here to sulk on the sofa all night long. Why don't we join them by the pool and down some shots?" You hopped off of your seat, pointing to the glass doors. All the boys were waving at you two and suddenly, Suna felt a wave of joy run down his body.

Atsumu was right. Best girl ever.

At some point of the night, everything became about you.

All he could hear was the sound of your voice and all the time, his eyes were drawn to your figure. He couldn't figure out a reason for it, but the rapper wasn't complaining either.

A sharp pang at the side of Suna's head broke the trance he was in. Osamu had a shit eating grin on his face, eyeing the ravenette with amusement.

"We told ya so." The younger twin mused whilst he handed a long neck of vodka to the other.

"Stop. This is dumb."

"Yer dumb. But you ain't that dumb ta dare ta mess with her." The gray-haired Miya squinted at him, menacingly pointing the bottle in his hand at the brunette. The latter shrugged it off, opening his drink.

"Nah, I'm good." And he meant it.

But how could he explain the situation he was in?

Lips and hands wandered over the expanse of his skin. Everything was too hot and too good at the same time. Overwhelming, even.

He wanted more, more and more. There wasn't enough of you.

And if it wasn't unfair enough, his body felt lethargic. He was desperate, but couldn't keep up with the rhythm you imposed. Be it the alcohol or the stress, his body gave up and blacked out, even before you could undress each other.

In the morning after, a pounding headache woke him up. Suna didn't dare to open his eyes, but the morning breath fanning over his face was unbearable.

"I can't believe a cutie like you have a stinky breath like this." The complaint came out in a raspy voice, accompanied by an annoyed grunt.

Someone snickered on the other side of the room.

"Man, I didn't know you had the hots fer Samu." Atsumu was somewhere across the room, laughing at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Hearing the other, Suna's body jolted, dizziness made his head spin in the process. He felt sick in the stomach and the morning light made his eyes sting. "When did I get back here?" The male looked around, realizing he was sprawled over Akagi's floor, right beside Osamu, who didn't even squirm at the loud voices in the room.

"What do ya mean? We never left" Atsumu frowned, uncaping a water bottle he was holding "Ya puked on Kita and passed out. The boys were too wasted ta drag yer sorry ass back home so we all crashed here." The blonde was dumbfounded, trying to figure out how wasted Suna got last night.

Suna wanted to know too. After all, there was no way the events envolving you were a product of his drunk mind.

facts:

• Suna's artist name is yosemite.

• He has a Tesla Model S because of Frank Ocean.

• He takes his Nikes very seriously.

• No, not all of his songs are about the car and the kicks.

• He and the Miya twins got a sports scholarship because of volleyball, but they dropped out of school to make music.

• The three of them created Inarizaki, the label they're making music under. Kita and Aran manage it.

• Both Miya twins are beatmakers and music producers. They recently debuted as artists and now are making a collab EP with Suna, thus Atsumu's concern about the album.

[demonwifey]

Hey! Love your works, btw, it's really cute! Anyway..That's not what I'm here for. I'm here for a writing prompt? Request? Whatever: Basically I wanna see someone write headcannons/fanfics on loneliness. Yes, I know it's a deep and sad topic, but I want some cuddles with the bug boio

Thank you so much anon!💗💗💗 And thank you guys so much for being patient with me. I haven’t posted in a while because I was in a little bit of a slump. But I’m gonna do my best to put out more some more stuff. Hope you guys enjoy!💜🖤💚

Beetlejuice x fem!reader

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abusive parents

Word count: 3,602

What’s the one thing you and Beetlejuice had in common? You were both lonely. And it’s crazy how similar your stories were. 

Beetlejuice had been alone his whole afterlife. His mother was a demon and a bitch, stuck raising a child she didn’t even want. And to do it all alone, she took her anger and frustration out on the only person around, Beetlejuice. She abused him both mentally and physically. She made him think he was something no one, not even her, could love. And for the longest, he believed it. 

Your parents didn’t want you either, but they tried so hard to not show it. Your mother got pregnant in senior year of high school. To which both of their lives had to halt. While they did still graduate, college became a push back. The two of them had to find jobs to support you and themselves. They weren’t as harsh as Juno but they weren’t saints either. Making off-hand comments or blaming you for the way their lives turned out. There was barely a day when you didn’t hear “If it wasn’t for you, I could’ve been…”. The things you are never supposed to say to your child, they would say to you. 

Even after you turned 18, you still needed to stay home. At least for those 4 years you needed for college. Once you got that out the way, you were on your own. Finally moving into your own house. 

Beetlejuice finally found the family he wanted for so long. But now everything was crumbling underneath him. Lydia was 18 and now going off to college herself. Once they dropped her off at school, Charles and Delia were off to enjoy a vacation now that they had time to themselves. Adam and Barbara still had things to figure out in the Netherworld. So while they still would come home at the end of the day, they weren’t around as much. Beej was in desperate need for something to occupy his time. It was boring being in the Deetzes house with no one around. And if he couldn't scare the neighbors with Lydia, what was the point? 

And that’s when you came into the picture. Beej’s powers allowed him to see and hear almost everything around the neighborhood. So, of course he had to watch you while you moved in. Without realizing it, you were only a few blocks away from the Deetz’s home. When you first arrived in town, you remember being curious about the strange looking house at the top of the hill. Your friends joked about it possibly being haunted, trying to scare you a little, but you only ignored them. 

Even though they helped you unload the cars, you insisted that you didn’t need help unpacking. It would give you some time to yourself. Once they said their goodbyes, you started to notice the eerie energy of the house on the hill. It was a while away and looked so small from your window. Get it together, YN, you thought. This was the first time in your own house. You couldn’t let yourself get scared and huddle up in the corner like a baby. Everything’s scary when you’re on your own. You just gotta get used to it.

It really didn’t take much for Beetlejuice to show up. As funny as it would’ve been for him to scare you and your friends all together, he waited until they left. There was no limit to the fun he could have scaring this unbeknownst breather while you were alone.

Once he emerged into the house, he saw you were still unpacking boxes. There were random items and boxes scattered everywhere. The smile on his face was nothing less than evil. You were making this way too easy for him. 

You were bent down, rummaging through a box or silverware and other kitchen items. You thought, at least you could start unboxing something easy. Of course, Beetlejuice wouldn’t be Beetlejuice if he didn’t stare at your ass while you leaned over. As he got closer, he realized your ass wasn’t the only great thing on you. 

Beetlejuice has been dead for a millennia, which means he’s seen A LOT of breathers. And yet, you seemed to be one of the most beautiful ones he’s seen in a while. Boy, he was about to have fun with you. 

While you were unwrapping some cups and placing them on the counter, you heard one of the cabinet doors behind you open. The creaking was so loud, it almost mirrored nails on a chalkboard. You turned around to see it just sitting wide open. Okay, you thought, maybe the hinges are a little too loose. Just something to try and give yourself a little reassurance. You walked over to close the door but before you could, it slammed shut right in front of you. 

Umm....nope. 

Beej couldn’t help but cackle at your face as you backed away from the cabinet slowly. As he was finished with you yet. He zipped around to the counter. Your back was still turned as he picked up one of the glasses you set down, loosely holding the edge with his finger. He leaned with one elbow on the counter and dropped the glass to the floor, not really needing to put in more effort. Your entire body jumped at the sound of the glass behind you, letting out a mini yelp while doing so. 

“Well, aren’t you a cutie pie? Come one, dollface. Let me hear you scream.” Beej spoke as he looked around to see what else he could use to scare you.

This dude basically terrorized you all night long. Knocking stuff over, opening and closing doors, and finding anything to make eerie sounds. It was like you were stuck on the same level of a horror game. It was too late to call your friends back as they were already miles away from you. You didn’t call the police because what were they gonna do? Tase a ghost? 

At first you were panicked but you realized that the ghost wasn’t actually going to hurt you. More like freak you out so you couldn’t sleep that night. It was going past midnight and you were still unpacking things here and there. After the last few boxes got knocked over, you had enough. You plopped yourself down on the couch before speaking loudly. 

“Alright, ghost or demon or whatever. I’m just gonna assume you’re friendly like Casper since you haven’t done anything to me.”

Even though Beetlejuice was invisible, he was visibly frustrated. Why weren’t you getting scared? You should be screaming and running out of the house in utter fear. After about an hour, whenever he knocked something over, you just stared blankly before picking it back up. No matter what he did you didn’t flinch. Now here you were comparing him to ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost’? Hanging out with Lydia and the Maitlands really made him lose his touch, huh? 

The demon man floated his way in front of you, watching as you laid on your side. He could see that you were on the verge of falling asleep, clearly worn out from all the unpacking. Your eyes were fluttering closed as you got comfortable, pulling your legs in towards your stomach and resting your hands under the side of your head. 

“Mm, thanks for keeping me company.” You moaned out, your words slurring a little as you dozed off. 

Was Beetlejuice about to let such a simple sentence get to him? Yes. 

Before even meeting Adam and Barbara, if Beej couldn’t scare a breather, he wouldn’t waste his time. Although he’d be upset by it, he’d count his losses and go. With you he considered it...for like 2 seconds. But he couldn’t look away as you snored softly. He was so entranced at the way your chest rose and fell as you breathed lightly. You seemed so tired but still slept so delicately. 

Wait, delicately? Since when was Beej using words like ‘delicately’? 

He couldn’t dwell on it too long as you stirred in your sleep. Why did he flinch? You couldn’t even see him. The demon man just bent down watching you, admiring how soft and, again, delicate you looked. He wasn’t sure how long he watched you for until he saw the sun starting to come up. 

Did he mean to watch you all night long? No. It just happened, okay?

For a second, he’d forgotten he was invisible to you. When you finally woke up, he flinched and moved backwards once your eyes met his. You only yawned and stretched to help wake yourself up. 

You looked around at the left over boxes still scattered around your living room. It seemed like you did so much unpacking but there was still so much left. Rubbing your eyes, you went to make yourself some breakfast. But you stopped, looking at the shattered glass still sitting on the kitchen floor. That’s when you remembered last night’s weird occurrence. The apparent ‘ghost’ in your house had dropped one of your glasses on the floor. Along with making 100 other failed attempts to scare you. It seemed so real but you were also really tired. Maybe you imagined it all. 

“Are you still here, ghost? Pfft, probably not-” And then you saw one of the glass shards rise a little into the air and then fall back down. “Okay, nevermind.”

****

So, now you were living with a ghost. You finally get the chance to leave your parents house, and this happens. 

You weren’t exactly sure what to make of it. It’s not like the ghost was actually bothering you. You didn’t get scared at its antics anymore, and it even seemed to take on the role as a friendly ghost after a while. 

If you were cooking the kitchen and dropped something, it would pick it up and place it back in your hand. Sometimes it would open the door for you when you walked into a room. After you got extremely comfortable with it around, it would even help you with little tasks around the house. 

There was more than one occasion where it would hold the flashlight while you needed to hands to fix something. 

You couldn’t explain it but you were just glad to have someone around. Even if it was a ghost.

Beetlejuice wasn’t sure what made him want to be around you. A simple answer was that you were an extremely hot breather that he liked looking at. If that was the case he wouldn’t put so much effort into being nice to you. Which is what made it difficult for him to understand. 

Being around you filled something in him that he didn’t know needed to be filled. 

Spoiler alert: you both are lonely idiots that don’t realize how lonely you are. 

One particular night, you came home from your new job extremely worn out. Your position was entry level so they basically treated you like a college intern. “Bring me this, take this here, do this right now.” Were the only things you heard all day. And it didn’t help that your mom had called you as soon as you got home. 

She called to ‘check in’ but really it was her putting you down. Making back-handed compliments about finally moving out. Practically insulting you without even being provoked. 

To end the night you took and shower and cozied up in your favorite hoodie. While only wearing a pair of panties underneath. You were laid out on your bed, trying to find something to watch on TV. Of course, just because you needed a distraction there was nothing on. 

And social media didn’t make you feel any better. All you saw was your friends posting pictures and statuses about hanging out for the weekend. You missed them, and missing them made you miss being back home. And thinking about home made you remember the bullshit your parents put you through. 100 things were running through your head and then suddenly you felt a lump in your throat. 

Not far after did the tears start and you couldn’t stop them. You laid on your side, silently sniffling as you cried. You were all alone in your own place and you still were stuck in the habit of crying quietly. What did it matter? No one was there to hear you. 

Except for Beetlejuice. 

He was having a bit of a rough night too. He’d been hanging around your house all day, which seemed to be the new normal. But just an hour before you got back home, he headed back to the Deetzes house. When he wandered in, he caught Adam and Barbara talking amongst each other, looking even giddier than normal.

Of course, he wouldn’t be Beetlejuice if he didn’t make a crude joke to announce his entrance. Ignoring his distasteful humor, the couple then told him that they just got done talking with Lydia. And Beetlejuice was pissed. 

Although any aware person could see Beetlejuice getting physically angry. His hair turning red, fists balling up, and the look on his face was nothing short of utter rage. Even the air around them was getting hot and dense But somehow the Maitlands didn’t notice. Barbara only continued on telling how Lydia was gushing about school. She’d made some new friends, joined the photography club, and all of her classes were going well. She called Charles and Delia on the regular but wanted to give check in on her ghost friends. 

Sure, Beetlejuice was happy to hear that for Lydia. But he was still mad he didn’t get to hear it straight from the source. Lydia had been gone for about 2 months and he was missing his best friend. Now the opportunity came to talk to her and he just missed it. With no explanation, he made his way back out of the house. The last thing he heard was them gushing about Lydia having a crush on some girl in her class. 

It was something so small but it hurt Beetlejuice. His best friend was growing up without him there to see it. Soon enough she was gonna forget all about him and only focus on her stupid new college friends. And if she didn’t care about him, why would anyone else in the house care? Now his thoughts were hitting some all at once. 

Although he couldn’t see, the color in his hair was rapidly changing between red, blue, and purple. He needed a distraction. So he headed back down to you. But when he arrived, he wasn’t met with your normal joyous demeanor. 

You were huddled up on your bed, crying and whimpering. So softly it almost sounded like the squeaks of a tiny mouse. Although small streaks of red were still there, more purple took over his hair. So he wasn’t the only one having a bad day. 

Beetlejuice wasn’t exactly sure if he should’ve bothered you or not. He wasn’t sure what was wrong or how he could help in any way. He had his own problems to sit on so maybe he’d just chill in your living room and blow off his steam there. As he went to float out of the room, he heard you speak. 

“I don’t know if you’re still here or not, ghost. But I could really use some company right about now.” You hiccuped out. You hated to sound like a child but fuck it. Talk to a ghost or not talk at all? The first seemed like the better option.

You sat up for a second, looking around for a sign that the ghost was actually near. You got a response with one of your pillows lifting up to hit you on the thigh. You let out a small huff and giggle mix, thinking about how if this was 2 months ago, you would’ve been scared out of your mind. You wiped away some of your tears as you sat up fully. 

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear me whining though. I think just knowing someone’s around makes me feel a little better.” As if to tell you it was okay the pillow hit your thigh again, causing you to laugh even more. Still a little hesitant, you talked about your day. It felt good to get your feelings out, even if it looked like you were just talking to a pillow. 

You weren’t sure how long you had talked for, all you know is that it was getting late and you were getting tired. Your face felt puffy from the crying, at certain points you had to stop and let out a few tears here and there before finishing the story. Without even realizing, you laid your head down to get more comfortable. 

“Why don’t you tell me about your day, ghost. I’m listening, I promise.” You quietly spoke, even if you felt your eyes starting to flutter closed. 

“Pff, babycakes, you won’t believe the day I’ve had.” He knew good and well you couldn’t hear him but it felt good to vent. He held the pillow as he talked; he would walk or float around the room with it in his hands. Since you could only see the pillow, you could only assume the ghost was speaking like you asked. 

You were in and out of sleep while Beetlejuice talked but he didn’t mind. You were making an effort to still stay awake for him and that’s all that mattered. Plus, he loved how cute you looked when you tried to keep your eyes open. After a while, he looked at the clock sitting on your bedside table. 2:16 a.m. He stopped floating around and was standing by the side of your bed. 

“Mmmm, are you done, ghost?” You spoke with your eyes finally fluttering closed for the night. 

Something about the way you looked made Beetlejuice’s dead heart flutter. So peaceful and comfortable. You couldn’t see him yet you knew he was there, and you weren’t afraid of his presence. Unbeknownst to him, his hair was slowly fading into a baby pink color. Without thinking, he dropped the pillow floated over to the opposite side of your bed, your back now facing towards him. 

Not putting much thought into it, he crawled onto the soft surface. Before he knew it, he was laying behind you and slowly wrapping one arm around your waist. The small amount of heat that came from your body warmed up the front of his. It was nice, he thought. 

“I think I can feel you, ghost.” Beetlejuice stiffened against you. He would’ve jumped backwards if you didn’t rest your hand over the one he had on your stomach. You more than likely felt the small chill coming from his body without actually feeling him. You couldn’t feel him. It wasn’t possible. But your hand on his calmed him more than he would ever tell. 

“You’re breaking my heart, doll. You don’t have to keep calling me that. Call me BJ.” He spoke quietly. Or so he thought. 

“BJ? That’s a cute name.” You said, shocking Beetlejuice completely. Fuck, he’d been a demon for how long and he’d completely forgotten that he could throw his voice. It didn’t seem to matter though. You were basically in a sleepy daze, so it didn’t really click that you had heard a random voice echo off your walls. 

“Thanks for sticking around, BJ.” You whispered before letting yourself fall asleep entirely. The chill from his presence was giving you goosebumps, even in unconsciousness. Beetlejuice’s cheeks would’ve turned red if his face wasn’t already bone white. 

He laid there with you for most of the night. Obviously he didn’t sleep so there was nothing he could do except watch you. Much like the first night you moved in. Except this time you were pressed against him. 

It was around 5 in the morning when he decided to poof away. Something about the way your body warmth was making him feel so flustered and overwhelmed. He rested himself in your attic, much like he would often do at the Deetzes. 

When you woke up later in the morning, something felt off. You rubbed your eyes before looking around, like you were looking for someone. You were so tired that everything seemed like a dream last night. But even so, your bed felt empty. 

Some things were a little foggy but one thing you do remember was the name ‘BJ’. Where it came from, you didn’t really remember. Finally sitting all the way up you saw one of your pillows sitting on the floor. And it hit you. The ghost that was occupying your house was named BJ. And somehow he told you that. 

You sat looking at the pillow a second before snorting. “Come one, Y/N. That’s stupid.” You muttered to yourself. It was one thing to have a ghost in your house, but now it was talking to you? And his name was BJ. You must’ve been really out of it, you thought. 

Even with your doubts, you still couldn’t shake the empty feeling you felt on your body. You still held onto the name BJ as well. You got off your bed and picked up the pillow off the floor. This all somehow mimicked the first night you moved in. 

“BJ,” You mumbled to yourself. “Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea.”

Hope you guys enjoyed and thanks for reading!💜🖤💚

[hecallsmehischild]

I think enough time has passed that I can safely talk about the planner. I was waiting in case it was just a passing manic phase (where I experiment with something and drop it after a couple weeks), but it seems to be here to stay.

I've been binge-listening to Jordan Peterson's Q&A videos because, well, there's a whole lot of practical and therapeutic wisdom there for free. One of his most frequent pieces of advice to people who asked him about organization or dealing with depression or anxiety was to use a calendar or a planner of some sort.

I brushed this idea off for many years. For a few periods of my life I've tried listing out my to-do's on Tumblr or in my journal, and tried using Google Calendar, but none of it worked for me consistently.

And then Dr. Peterson said something I'd never heard before. He said to not use the calendar in a way that you were both tyrant over yourself and slave to yourself. He said to design the sort of day you would actually like to have.

I took this and combined it with a couple other things he mentioned. First was that if you genuinely ask yourself a question and are truly open to the answer, you will often receive information you didn't know before. Second, that promising yourself a limited task and then rewarding yourself for that task is important, and breaking that contract with yourself in ANY WAY (like doing that task for longer than you said, or reneging on the reward) means that you cheated a part of yourself, and that part of yourself will make it much harder to engage in the task NEXT time you try promising yourself a reward because you no longer believe your own promises.

So I asked myself, "What would it take for me to use a planner?" And the answer came back, "Shiny stickers."

I think I used to love stickers. Memory is hazy, but I was raised in Sunday School, and I'm pretty sure stickers were a reward, either there or in daycare. I'd been thinking about them for a long time, actually, but kind of brushed off the thought as too childish to really make a difference. But this time I decided to give it a try.

So I sorted through a whole bunch of planners on Amazon and looked for one that fit my needs. I picked one that didn't have set days (write in your own date at the top) so I didn't feel bad or wasteful about missed/empty pages. I picked one that included starting your day with a thing you're thankful for. I don't use it enough, but there is a water counter on each page which is also useful for someone like me who is in a constant state of forgetful dehydration. I went out and purchased two sheets of colorful star stickers (much like you would get in a day care or Sunday school) and about four sheets of much larger flower/butterfly/unicorn stickers. Over the first couple of months, I established the rules in the front page:

I get one large pretty sticker if I finish my day.

Fun activities may be exchanged for other fun activities, but not eliminated.

Tasks may be swapped between days.

Here's why this solution is working out fabulously for me:

Even if I don't finish everything in my day, the end of every task is rewarded with a shiny star (or smiley face) sticker, so I'm still REWARDED for completing any number of tasks.

If I finish ALL items on my day, then I get a bigger, prettier sticker, and it is an odd little endorphin rush of satisfaction to do so.

I'm a very forgetful person who lets completed tasks float away into a haze. Prior to this, if you asked me, "What did you do today?" I could have been doing chores all day and would not be able to answer you. This led to years of self-talk along the lines of, "Man, I'm so useless. I don't do anything worthwhile." NOW what happens is that I look at my list and know exactly what I did. In fact, if I decide I want to do an extra chore today, I do it, write it down, and immediately sticker it. I haven't heard the "useless" claim in my head for weeks.

Previously, I just had one To-Do list that continued to grow. I'd knock off a few items, but then think of several more that needed doing and the list would grow again. This lends a feeling of futility to me finishing things on the list because the list NEVER ENDS. NOW, I can choose to put some things on tomorrow's list and some things on the list for the next day. If I remember something that needs doing, I can make sure it's written down sometime in the next 2-3 days, but every day's list has an END.

I'm more encouraged to break large, overwhelming-looking tasks into manageable sizes. How much of my large manuscript can I manage editing today? I can manage one chapter today. Can I manage all the small cleaning tasks today, or one of the big ones? All the small ones (individually marked out on the page). Do I have the time/energy to start a new project? Well, I can at least start X amount of it and feel it out, etc.

I'M NOT A TYRANT TO MYSELF. I include things like gaming, reading, making a wire tree, or baking bread on the list. The things I enjoy doing in my spare time, the things that feed my soul? They go on the list as "fun things" and even if I change my mind about WHICH fun thing I want to do, I don't get to eliminate it from the list if I want that big shiny sticker at the end of the day.

If I don't get to finish a task because it was dependent on someone else who didn't show, I don't sticker it, but I make a note by it and don't count that against myself when it comes time to award the big sticker.

I don't set times for myself because I don't find that to be useful, but I can see how it would be useful to some people. I still don't know what my big end goal is, but I get the feeling I'll know it when I see it. I'm still waiting on that. My current goal is to keep things clean and pleasant around here, to have good relations with neighbors and housemates, to finish making the house functional, and to continue personal growth. For now, I think using the schedule is helping me accomplish all of these. And that's really exciting.

(below, this is not the Q&A but it encapsulates his concept of schedules and goals pretty well)

[raisingsupergirl]

I'm Back! Returning to the "Real World" After Six Weeks Unplugged and Undrugged

If I'm being honest, I don't really want to write this post. I don't want to go back to the way things were. It feels like returning from vacation on a Sunday evening and setting my work alarm for Monday morning. I know my next vacation won't come for a while. I know I'm "back in it" now. And the sensation is completely opposite of what I'd expected from all of the "restrictions" I put on myself six weeks ago. But I'm sure you're just dying to know how I did, so here goes.

I failed. A lot. Just like I said I would. And the number one thing I failed at was reading to my kids. I tried it. Once. I started Harry Potter, but it felt like pulling teeth. I didn't enjoy it. The kids didn't enjoy it (even though I poured all of my energy into the BEST character voices). But even if I didn't read to my children, at least I didn't fail completely at reading. In fact, I stayed pretty true to my goal of replacing my weeknight TV with reading (with a subtle exception… but I'll get to that later), and it was honestly one of the biggest successes of all. Just an hour or two of quiet entertainment and contemplation in the evenings (whether with a Bible devotional or a bloody space adventure) did wonders for my mood and sleep habits. And speaking of sleep habits…

I failed at that, too. Again, not completely, but I definitely didn't live up to the whole bargain. I don't care how comfortable I got with going to bed at 9:45 pm and waking up at 5:45 am, when I would get home from work at 9:15 at night, there was no way I was going to have time to eat, shower, and wind down enough to be asleep within thirty minutes. And so, I bent the rules a little. But never more than an hour. And that's where I found my rhythm. I would never go to bed or wake up more than an hour different than I did the day before. That compromise allowed me to adjust slowly to different schedules without suffering too much.

Interestingly enough, the things I succeeded at completely are the things that sound like the biggest commitments. I worked out every day without fail, I didn't get on social media or YouTube, and I cut out all drugs (aka alcohol, tobacco, caffeine, night time snacking, and weekday fast food) cold turkey, right down to my morning pre-workout drink, which has a little caffeine in it. I'm not sure exactly why these things were easier to stick to. I'm sure a part of it has to do with my particular personality, but I suspect the bigger part is the nature of these things. They're easier to define. Easier to grasp and control. So what's the big deal about sleeping in a few extra minutes on the weekends (half-asleep rationale is always a little bit skewed…)? Why should I fight to read to my kids if they don't even enjoy it? But exercise and diet are very external. They're obvious to myself and to others when I screw them up. There's more accountability, so they're not as easy to make excuses for. The hardest promises to keep are the ones nobody knows about.

And… there's a third factor, and I hinted at it earlier. Remember when I said I didn't TECHINCALLY stick to the "no TV during the week" goal? Well, I didn't "watch" TV during the week, per se. But that's because I was playing a video game. A video game called "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild." And, well, I was completely unprepared for it. First, Zelda is my jam. Always has been since I was a wee lad. Like most functioning adults, I fell away from video games after high school because I was trying to make all the monies and didn't have time to spend six hours at a time in front of a screen. But when Santa brought us a Nintendo Switch for Christmas, I knew there was a game I "had" to try. And, well, BotW didn't disappoint. Those who have played Skyrim or other open-world games would have known what they were in for, but I didn't. 

The moment I popped open that glider and drifted off of the Great Plateau, the real world faded away. This game had no limits. No boundaries. It's impossible to describe my awe at that slow and continuing realization as I delved into underground temples, climbed distant peaks, and trudged through vast deserts, so I won't try. Those who think video games are "a waste of time" will never get it, and those who embrace the value of story telling already know what I'm talking about. Suffice it to say that I "did the Zelda things." Not all the things, mind you. I didn't find all the koroks, beat all the shrines, or kill all the lynels, but I DID awaken the Divine Beasts, sneak into the castle dungeon to claim the Hylian shield, tame the royal mare, ride all the animals, build Tarry Town from the ground up, and head butt a guardian to death with the Lord of the Mountain. I trudged through every region and stared out at the realm from the highest spire of Hyrule castle. In the end, I defeated Calamity Ganon and brought peace to the land. And in that triumphant moment, I finally realized the truth about the game…

It was just another drug. You see, I never did have a real urge to sit down to a whiskey and a pile of snacks on a Saturday night, even though that had become an engrained habit over the past year. Why? Because I had an entire world to explore and save! And I needed to stay hydrated and healthy to beat the biggest baddies in Hyrule. The game completely overshadowed other primal urges. Any time I was feeling lazy or weak—times when I would look for a quick, mindless reward—I would pick up the Switch controller. And sometimes, that would be during the week. In fact, all told, I played 110 hours over six weeks. That's around two-and-a-half hours a day, EVERY day! So the amount of time I would have generally wasted with social media, TV, or "drugs," I instead committed to Zelda.

In the end, I'm not sure what to think about the whole six-week experience. I do know that I grew closer to God. My thoughts cleared significantly. I experienced deeper and wider peace, seeing previously scary and stressful situations with new clarity and confidence. I loved my family more completely, and I committed harder to my duties (work, family, etc). But I had low moments, too. Not enough to hit rock bottom or consider giving up, but because I knew what it felt like to ride that "high" with my savior and creator, to be present in the moment with a sense of purpose and appreciation, every moment of minor disconnection or apathy hit me harder than it normally would have. So I guess everything is relative. Once we know just how good we can feel, our expectations rise. On the other hand, my perspective has changed regarding rewards and fulfillment. A moment of earned relaxation or celebration doesn't need to include a glass of wine. I don't "need" to stay up late and sleep in on the weekends. And most importantly, my joy comes from God, not from the things I do, but there ARE some things that keep me away from God's joy. Mostly things that become habit—things I fall back on when I want to "check out."

And I guess that's the whole point. When we're present and intentional, life's good. We're happy with our choices and usually with the results. But when we're exhausted, when we've given all we can and think we've earned some reward (or at least a break)… well, that's when we make mistakes. And that's when we should just go to bed. Sure, maybe a little reading to calm us down and get our minds right first, but we're never at our worst than when we're mentally tapped out. And so, I plan to be more aware of this fact through the rest of the year. I'm going to continue to cut out electronics during the week. I'm going to avoid the Facebook scroll (which doesn't appeal to me even a little bit anymore). I'm going to enjoy sunrises and cuddles. And, most importantly, I'm going to create the time and space for quiet thought and divine whispers.

That's my secret to happiness. Do less (especially less "check out" activities like Twitter and television) and think more. Talk less and listen more. Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no." In other words, live a life that speaks for itself and don't feel the need to justify your thoughts and actions to everyone. Live lightly, love deeply, and let the rest wash away with the tide. That's all I've got, friends. And you know what? This post was actually a joy to write. I'm excited to be back, to see my friends again, to share what I've learned with you, and to learn FROM you. And most importantly, I’m excited to enjoy all the beauty that the real world has to offer...

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire 3

So we're getting really close to beating the game. I can not wait till this is over. It's weird to want games to end, but games like this with a clear linear plot can too easily overstay their welcome. Truly, BoF3 doesn't really have enough mythology to warrant 40 hours, but they do their best to stretch it...

SO - we get the sea chart to the legendary mariner. I have no idea how to look at the sea chart, so I looked on the internet. We found the mysterious "section" and there's this maze of navigable waters, but you have about 30 seconds to get to the legendary mariner.

...it just hit me that the sea chart is the mini-map during this section...

This took a few tries. I felt bad for my son, having to watch me fail. I was also getting frustrated, because I didn't want to waste his time. I got to the house with 1 second left, but I wasn't facing the right direction, so we had to start over. This made my son extremely mad. We had to set the game down and discuss feeling frustrated. It seems my own frustration was fueling his. So we talked out our feelings and got on the same page about how to proceed.

Then we got it on the next try!!

Legendary Mariner admits he didn't actually sail across the sea. Forget how he came, actually... He says the only way to get across is to use the Black Ship. I mean...duh. So we ram the Black Ship and begin one of my favorite sections from when I was a kid.

For some reason, I thought the ship was filled with more mini-games and puzzles. Not so much, which is good--so we can keep the story moving. There's an obligatory boss fight and then we reach the other side. Not as mind blowing as I remember, but still a cool idea for a "medieval fantasy" game.

We find some folks working an industrialized dock and they seem really confused by our presence. I don't spend much time here and move on. The characters make a comment about the people not seeming human.

...are they androids?

Next, we find a factory. I'm really annoyed at this point. CAN WE JUST FINISH THE GAME?! We get it, the machines come from here...

We then find a new place with an Antenna. Wonder what that is? Inside is a transporter room Nina, Rei, and Honey used to escape the castle. How interesting...We decide to activate it. The puzzle here was borderline intimidating but it turned out to not be so bad. We get it activated and are auto-zipped back to steel beach.

My son was not happy about this. He wants to move forward, not backward.

A quick recalibration of the antenna using a cool minigame, trying to point away from static signals, and we're back to the other side.

But this time we go to Dragnier. Turns out, this place is filled with The Brood that have surrendered their powers to become human. It was an attempt to hide from the Goddess and Guardians...why they hid on the same side of the sea as the Goddess, I'm not sure. But after a creepy scene of an old man trying to get girls to kiss him in exchange for information, Ryu is granted the ultimate dragon power: Infinity.

The citizens of Dragnier have been expecting Ryu and they believe he will be their savior, and avenge their defeat at the hands of the Goddess. Why they didn't kill the Goddess at full force?...Anyway, Nina is concerned about whether Ryu is a "good" or "bad" dragon. The elder Dragnier laughs. Dragons are neither good or bad. Basically, they're just people. But they're also very powerful and could destroy the world if they chose. The Goddess feared this power...maybe, I don't know...

Next comes the desert part. This part is clever. You have to walk across a desert using the stars for navigation. You also have limited water supply. Walking during the day exhausts more energy, so walk at night. This sequence takes a looong time, and it's easy to mess up. I respected this part, but I didn't want to waste too much time with my son walking.

So I looked up a short cut and set the emulator into fast-forward mode. (Emulators are the best way to play).

On the other side of the desert, there's a boss fight and Nina is overcome with heat exhaustion. So we have to kill our Yakda to help her heal. This is an interesting part because the Yakda is the only way to save yourself from the desert. So you're basically committing to never returning to safety. While BoF3 isn't necessarily a well-told story of deep characters, I'm always impressed with how few punches they pull. The game creates a lot of touch scenarios, with complicated motivations and morality.

Anyway, we find a village, that may feature some racist grammar stylings. They help Nina and the team recover then refer us to the "ruins" of Caer Xhan. There, we find a futuristic city with paved roads, automatic doors, and laser traps. Simple puzzle and we activate an elevator to the Orbital Station Myria.

We're in the Endgame now.

After crossing the ocean, the game's pacing is a little weird. Everywhere you go is a quick stop, and you don't normally return to these locations. Very much unlike the starting side of the game, where you're constantly returning to the same locations over, and over again. It makes the game feel a bit uneven. While I like retracing my foot steps as an adult and seeing how things changed, it was a little too excessive. And now there's a whole half of the world that's never been seen, and we're barely stopping for a breather before moving on.

Really, I think once you cross the ocean, that just needs to be the ending chapter. All this expectation of meeting God and it's just one delay after another. The other side of the sea could have combined several dungeons and story beats (Dock, factory, transporter) -- and then arrive at Dragnier, and finally cross the desert to the ruins.

We'll see what we get done tonight!

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

I've recently just discovered I'm demisexual and not long out of a long term relationship. I am genuinely dreading going back out there in the dating world again. I hate the idea of having to go through all sorts of people till I find someone I'm comfortable with again, after my break up my self esteem is pretty low too. I'm worried that now with my recent discovery this will make things harder for me to find a partner. I know 100% I want to be in love and find someone but at the same time I'm done with talking to numerous of different people who are more sexually driven than me, I'm worried I wont find someone who will understand what I need from them.

Do you know of anybody going through the same thing and they turned out ok or would it be best to come out straight away to a potential partner and is there a chance they will be understanding? I just can't seem to get out my own head that I'll end up alone with the I am.

Hey, hello! I don't identify as demisexual because the term isn't really for me, but it's probably the closest descriptor to how I have always approached romance personally. So hopefully my direct experiences are relatable enough.

I too hate dating in general. It's awful. It's this constant game that's played through mostly vapid people who are generally insecure with themselves and not confident enough to just be themselves. They have to turn it into this whole event, and especially these days in the time of ghosting and increasing porousness of relationship, this has only become more exacerbated. Everyone's out there wanting to hook up and expand their horizons when I'm just over here wanting to meet someone I can actually connect with before I take that next step. It really feels like nobody is really interested in stable, fulfilling relationships because they can't even be bothered.

But guess what: it turned out okay. I am currently in a 3-year long relationship with someone. It's rocky at times, especially because it's long-distance. But that's okay, because I got into this relationship prepared for the long-haul anyway, so it works out. Over time, I fell completely into trust with them, so even when the romance might feel like it's waning, I know that at the end of the day I have a trusted companion to carry any attachment through.

Now to your questions. Should you come out straight away? You don't have to, but I find it helpful. I typically treat relationships very openly: just spit it all out, throw it on the table, and let other people decide whether they're into that or not. I do this with pretty much everything to. For instance, I'm into anime. I know a lot of people - especially where I live - find that cringey or lame. I don't give a fuck, because I find people who think anime is cringey or lame are the ones who are cringey and lame. So I often outrightly speak on that thing I care about. What are you interested in Chris? "I'm really into anime." It acts as this convenient filter. People who definitely don't like that thing will be like "ew" and walk away; good, I don't need them wasting my time. People who don't mind will stick around. That's all that matters.

Sexualities, however, are a bit more intricate than that. And I think whether you should reveal it or not depends on where you live. One reason I don't care to identify with it is because it's just not useful where I live. I'm in Texas; the majority of people here, even the liberals and leftists, are VERY conservative. They don't understand what demisexual even means. So why even trouble them on that? Because I still need to approach them with that filter, because if they're not into that, they're a bad long-term bet. I explain it by asking questions during conversation - usually conversations where they've passed my barriers, and we've earned some degree of trust where these sorts of questions are acceptable to ask. "What your sex drive like? Mine is often pretty low, but I'm really only interested in doing stuff with the right person." Or something like, "I'm not really into hook-ups. I've tried it before, but it made me really sad. I'd rather do it with someone I trusted." You'll note I'm basically describing what demisexuality is to them without actually just saying it out loud; this way if they don't know what it is, they learned how I feel, not what the dictionary definition is; further, if they do know what it is, they know I fit that bill. It's also just being honest, and allows them to learn about me more.

If you're in a place where sexualities and other such stuff is spoken about openly though, I see no harm in just saying it out loud. If I was closer to the term, I'd probably tell people pretty early, "Hey, I'm bisexual and demisexual. I generally only like to be intimate with people who I really trust." No reason to beat around the bush, and it basically qualifies my stances on sexuality: I tend to seek out people on the binary, and I tend to only do it with people I really care about. It should obviously not be the first thing you say; but saying it early saves a lot of headache. If someone's only objective is to get in your pants, and they learn early you're not into that, then they'll leave of their own accord and you can move on without investing energy in someone who doesn't matter to you. Also, if you're online dating, PUT IT IN YOUR BIO. There' really just zero reason not to put it in your bio, because it makes self-selection of the other party who are swiping for you or checking your profile easier.

To your last point, will you end up alone? It might seem dower, but yes, you might. Why? Well, because people like you and I aren't interested in relationships in the same way as other people. We are a niche of many other niches; we have to try a little harder than others by default. That's okay, but it doesn't mean that we inherently limit our dating pool a little bit for our happiness. The smaller your dating pool, the higher your chances of not finding someone.

And that's okay. That's the beauty of demisexuality, frankly. Because as I've said multiple times: we're interested in people we care about, people we can trust. We need long term attachment before we want to be deeply intimate. And isn't that just NICE? We have a nonstop objective, and it has a very easy starting line: after we get to know someone. We don't have to worry about hook-ups and walks of shame, we don't have to worry about will-they-won't-they. All we have to worry about is making a cool friend to spend our time with. If it gets to the part where we want to do naughty stuff with that friend, that's just a bonus honestly.

Just be sure not to isolate yourself from the dating pool because of your preferences. Don't be afraid to enter relationships just because you don't think it will work out. If YOU are declining more than 50% of the offers you receive because you're not sure, then you become the problem. As much as your sexuality is dictated by trust and commitment, it does mean inevitably you have to try to commit. Because however things end up, you're the master of your own destiny.

[pastel-bullet-101]

Part 2

Once I got a better look at our new teacher I recognized him. He the pro hero Eraser head. I was always a secret fan of him. Liking heros weren't very welcomed in my 'house', but he was one of the few heros that followed Tomuras ideology. Hes known for not being very... adamant about being a top hero. "Right let's get to it. Put these on and head outside." He pulled out a type of track suit from the sleeping bag.

Wait. What?

He then passed out assigned uniforms I was gonna go meet up with Tsu, but i was stopped by the very same teacher Aizawa. "Are you Y/n L/n?" I began to slightly panic "y-yes sir."

"We need to talk." Oh god.

He knew. No dont think like that. Your a student attending UA to become a hero you have nothing to worry about. If I believe it then it's true. "Um yes sir."

He took me back into the 1-A classroom, now abandoned. He then went behind the desk. "So does your quirk rely on touch?" I tense at his question. "Um no-no sir. Depending on the weight I can use a certain amount of force and shatter it. But-but if let's say I was punching something that was around 200 pounds but I release the amount of force equivalent to 100 pounds it would only shatter the area of contact and half of the object." I let out afoced laugh the situation was extremely awkward. "Alright." He then pulled out a pen and placed it on the desk in front of me. "It weighs about 1.5 ounces." I look at him confused. "I want you to shatter it." I take a gulp and I reach for the pen.

"Of course you'll have to reverse the affect." This caused me to stop in a moment of hesitation. He then let out a small huff. "Look if I'm being honest I honestly think a quirk like yours shouldn't be in a hero course." I try to keep my composure but on the inside I'm confused why does the quirk make the decision of whether your a hero or not? "So have you even tried to reverse the effects of your quirk? Or did you assume you would only go up against robots or villians that deserve death?" I didnt know what to say. What do you even say? I've practiced reversing my quirk but if I'm being honest it was always a gamble and I've never even tried reversing the effect on a animal let alone another human being. Aizawa obviously noticed the conflict in my eyes but he then caught my attention with one sentence. "If you cant reverse the effects of your quirk then I see no point in you continuing studying at this academy."

'You can't expect to reverse it by just staring at it.' I yelped at the sudden voice. I turned around to see Kurogiri staring at me. 'Yeah I know that its just...I-I dont know what else to do.' I then grabbed my knees putting them up to my shin while staring daggers at the shattered pen. Kurogiri then sat next to my small form. 'You know who would be a great person to ask for help?' I looked up at him expectantly. Shaking my head he responds. 'Believe it or not Shigaraki would be a good help.' My head drops at his statement which doesnt go unnoticed by the man made of smoke. 'I just dont want to bother him...' Kurogiri let's out a light chuckle making me look at him confused. 'I think you are one of the only people who he wouldn't mind being bothered by.' I let out a chuckle of my own. Pulling my knees tighter to my chest I stare at the pen. The time limit probably already gone. 'Alright come on I think you need a break.' He got up expecting me to follow but i couldn't find myself to move. 'Well if you wont come I guess all that F/F I prepared will have to go to waste.' I immediately perked up and started running to catch up to Kurogiri.

I was eating with him laughing about anything and everything when Tomura came in the door. I was about to run up to him and give him his 'welcome back' hug but one look at him and I could tell he was exhausted just from his body language. So I decided to just give him a smile. Tomura then looked confused stopping in his tracks for a moment. 'Hey Kurogiri do you mind.' Kurogiri gave his equivalent to a nod and dissapeared. I was staring down at my plate and felt a stool being pulled out next to me. 'Pretty late what were you doing?'

'Oh um you know just-'

'Your not very good at lying.' Yeah

I wasn't 'I- I was practicing control of my quirk.'

'Why? Did something happen?'

I laughed a bit noting the concern in his voice. 'No nothing happened I'm just trying to learn- learn how to reverse it.' I didnt know how he'd react I was expecting anger but instead I got a sense of sadness. 'How long have you been trying to learn?'

Huh?

A-about a month or so...' my hand slowly reached to my head scratching at the side of my scalp. Tomura grabbed my hand gently leaving his pinky up. 'I could've helped. Why didnt you ever come to me?'

'I didnt want to be a bother to you. You always have things to do and I don't want to add to your list of things-'

Do you know how sad it is to hear that your own sister wont come to you for help? I feel like I'm losing you... I dont even get hugs from you when I get back from missions...did I- did I do something that made you mad?' I look up to him and notice hes no longer wearing father letting me see the distraught in his eyes. I quickly wrap my arms around his slim body holding him. 'I'm sorry. I just didn't want to get in the way but...I should've thought about how you would feel.' I felt him wrap his arms back around me, letting his head rest in my hair. He then pulls back only saying. 'So let's try to learn how to reverse your quirk.'

Looking over to Aizawa the thoughts in my head go wild. I can't get kicked out that ruins everything not only for me but for Tomura the league as a whole. I cant leave now I-

"Come on we haven't got all day your wasting time and i still have another test to start with the rest of the students. If you wanna save face then just say now that you cant do it."

Alright I have a limited amount of time after shattering to reverse it and I dont have the luxury to take my time. I take a deep breath and reach for the pen. All it'll take is a light squeeze and it's done for. I have to do something anything but staying still. I lightly squeeze the pen and it shatters in my hand and I keep all the shards in my hand. All right focus. Focus. Focus. I take a deep inhale and enclose the shards in my hands. 'Remeber to keep your head clear and make sure your focusing on the shards.' Clearing my head I let the room around me fade my focus on the shards. 'Good now imagine what it was before picture every detail, every crevice and focus your energy into retuning that obeject.' I follow the instructions closely letting energy flow down to my hands encompassing the shards. 'Remember to breathe.'

I open my eyes and open my palm.

It's a pen... I did it. It's back to normal. I cant contain the wide smile that covers my face. I look over to Aizawa , I cant read his facial expression making me worry. "It's obvious that you've been practicing meaning you understand the repercussions of your quirk good work. Now make your way to the rest of the class on the feild."

"Oh y-yes Mr. Aizawa." With that I quickly fled the room.

Aizawa slowly walks up to the pen and examines it. "Well isn't this interesting."

[daesungindistress]

Sorry for bothering you. I have some questions. I'm new in this fandom. At fist I supported Seungri but now I doubt him. Some vips say that he is victim of media, he run only Aori ramen and Kmedia is lying. I see posts claiming that OT4 won't go on without him. There are so much conflicting information. What exactly did he do? If OT4 had problems with Seungri why were they so nice to him during Last dance tour? Again sorry for bothering I just want to know the whole story.

I’m sorry, I’ve gone over this at length so many times over the last six plus months… do I have the energy to hash it out again in detail? It’s true that there is still confusion over his case, let’s face it, there always will be. It’s also true that there has been misinformation spread on both sides, both for and against him. Accusations that came and went, some that stuck, some that didn’t. All you need to know is that right now, based on the results of the police investigation he underwent this spring, he is currently facing 7 charges (from this article):

Solicitation of prostitution (for himself)

Prostitution mediation (for his foreign investors)

Occupational embezzlement of Burning Sun funds

Occupational embezzlement of attorney’s fees

Instigating destruction of evidence

Violation of the Act on Special Cases Concerning the Punishment, etc. of Sexual Crimes (sharing a photo believed to be molka)

Violation of the Food Sanitation Act (this is related to Monkey Museum)

He is also currently under investigation for suspicions of gambling while abroad (which, though few fans seem to have a problem with it, is illegal for Koreans) and violating the Foreign Exchange Transactions Act (raising gambling funds through “hwanchigi,” a term that refers to illegal practices surrounding foreign exchange transactions). So if you see people saying he’s facing up to 9 charges, that’s where that number comes from. The first 7 charges are currently in the hands of the prosecution. Police have recommended indictment on all 7, however, it’s up to the prosecution to conduct their own supplementary investigation and decide whether or not to formally press charges against him (i.e., indict him), after which, if indicted, his case will go to court. This is just a thought, but they may be waiting for police to finish up their investigation on the gambling suspicions so that they can make a decision on all charges at once. In the meantime, it seems his enlistment has been postponed indefinitely.

For the record, most VIPs defended Seungri against the Burning Sun allegations (not gonna get into that here, but it’s pretty horrific stuff). The Burning Sun situation is still murky, and probably always will be, but it’s worth noting that Seungri was never booked or earnestly investigated on anything related to the club besides embezzlement of club funds. Then, in late February the prostitution chats were released – chats which appear to show him and his business partners arranging for prostitutes for their foreign investors visiting Korea back in late 2015 – and he was officially booked as a suspect for that. Then, as if things weren’t bad enough for him already, there came the molka/spycam chats, in which women were filmed in sex acts without their permission and their photos and videos secretly shared among friends. We later learned that some of these women had been drugged and raped. Besides that, the text content of the chats themselves and they way these men spoke about the women they’d slept with was just vile.

Based on the very limited evidence we have available to us, Seungri’s involvement in those molka chats was admittedly minimal (at least when compared to the other chat members, many of whom are currently standing trial on rape charges). However, some of these men were close friends of his, and for many people, his knowledge of their despicable acts toward these women and his complacency (in neglecting to report, or at the very least condemn them for it) was enough. We know he viewed at least one molka video and seemed unbothered by it, even laughing at it. That was the point at which many (I would argue most) people dropped his ass like a hot potato, horrified that he’d had any part in it at all.

Everyone has to draw the line somewhere. For many, that was the line. As for me? I remember the first time I saw that headline, and how my heart sank. I was still on his side back then, perhaps not yet realizing just how serious the situation had become, but even so, I knew in my heart that it was the end for him. And sure enough, it was later that same day when he announced his retirement from the entertainment industry.

His supporters will swear up and down that he had nothing to do with it, but from his own mouth, in his Chosun Ilbo interview, he knew. And not only that, he apparently helped them dispose of evidence when the news broke by alerting them that they were in trouble and instructing them to change their phones (hence the “instigating destruction of evidence” charge). And this is to say nothing of the ridiculous explanation he came up with for the prostitution chats: that he was just providing girls for his female friend to party and go shopping with, an explanation that was shot down by that very friend who he tried to use as an alibi. So when you said “now I doubt him”? Yeah. Us too.

There’s so much more to this saga. So much more. And it’s ongoing. But I’m so tired of going over it again and again and again. The fact is, Seungri asked to have his contract with YG terminated and announced his withdrawal from the industry. So whether you like him or not, continuing to pledge your support to him is just a massive waste of time. Seungri has been a retired singer for six months now, and the cold hard reality is that since March 2019 Big Bang has been four members. G-Dragon, TOP, Taeyang, Daesung. They are still with us. They are who will stand on the stage before us again. They are who will bring us new music and feature in new videos. They are our future as a fandom. If we want more of Big Bang, if we want to see the band continue on at all, we have to express a willingness to support them as they are, now and for the foreseeable future. Otherwise, it’s like Youngbae said during Last Dance: it will be goodbye for real. And who wants that?

Seungri has been locked in an intense media and legal battle for almost all of 2019 – nearly nine months now. And I don’t see things getting better for him anytime soon. This could easily drag on for another three months, until the end of this year. It could go on for six. It could even stretch on for twelve, if he’s indicted on all charges and his case goes to trial. When you factor in enlistment, the absolute soonest Seungri can even think about being active again as an entertainer is in 2-3 years’ time. It has already been almost 3 years since BB’s last comeback. Does anyone really think they’re going to make themselves and us endure another 2-3 year wait (at best!) for a retired member to return to them before they'll release new music again as a group? When they wanted him to enlist alongside them, but he chose not to? And then became the center of the biggest controversy in kpop history? After they begged him not to get in trouble while they were away?

“If OT4 had problems with Seungri why were they so nice to him during Last dance tour?”

I don’t want you guys to think I’m spreading the message that BB ever hated Seungri. It’s more complex than that. I think they cared for him, but I think they were also frustrated with him. I think they wanted what was best for him and were concerned for him. I think they wanted to put their trust in him, knowing that he alone would be carrying the name Big Bang in their absence, but given how distant he’d become and the questionable connections he’d made, couldn’t help being wary of him.

And more than anything? I think they felt they’d lost him. For several years now. And it’s so damn sad.

Somehow, somewhere along the way, to someone (those friends of his) or to something (money and fame, greed and pride, power and envy, you name it), he slipped through their fingers. It wasn’t always this way between them, I’m sure of it. But sometimes people change, often as a result of their changing circumstances. Seungri, unhappy with his present situation (circa 2015, maybe even earlier), found a new passion and a new social circle (a problematic one)… and the closer he grew to them, the farther he drifted from BB. They said they only ever saw him onstage. Said they made plans together but he’d often cancel at the last minute. Said he was always overseas with his other friends and business associates. Said he was “totally a businessman” and that he “didn’t want to work [as a singer] anymore.” They said it seemed that Big Bang had become “business” to him and that all he ever talked about with them was money. I think they felt that though he stayed with them, he did so for all the wrong reasons, reasons that no longer included a passion for music. He didn’t even invite them to his last birthday party before they all enlisted, his big island resort birthday bash in the Philippines (and we’ve all seen that Last Dance tour behind-the-scenes clip in which GD scolded him harshly for it. In hindsight, they dodged a bullet by not being there, seeing as that party was under scrutiny this year for suspicions of prostitution mediation).

Sorry. At this point I’m just rambling. You say you want to know the whole story? Yeah, well, so do the rest of us. But for now, the best we can hope for is that it’s not over for Big Bang. So please, let’s give all our love to the four who remain.