#why swipe left
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#bumble#dating#swipe left#tinder#why swipe left#hinge#dating fail#online dating#dating profile#dating prompts
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#gif#why do I have to spend every christmas and every birthday alone#for what am I being punished#I am a good person#and I don’t think this suffering has any sense#it’s just that in life the happy people have good things coming their way#and the sad people always just get more trauma#I know I could have a relationship if I didn’t have such a traumatic childhood#my trauma lets me reject the good guys and waste my time with the aholes#but i don’t know what to do about it#every nice guy I met absolutely wasn’t attractive to me#and we also didn’t have anything in common#so I’m not even regretting rejecting them cause it wouldn’t have worked out#and they deserve someone who actually fancies them#i just wonder why I never met a nice guy that I have common interests with#or who matched my preferences lookwise#it really feels like I’m simply not allowed to ever meet the right person#and gotten to the point where I swipe for hours have a lot of matches and then ghost everyone#as I just know it either will be someone nice but not attractive to me or an ahole#I just don’t have any energy left anymore#I just want to experience love so bad but can’t do these dates anymore#I’m so so tired
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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i dont want to swipe right on anyone on bumble bc then id have to talk to them. so im just snoozing my account instead.
#literally snoozed and unsnoozed like 5 times tonight lets just swipe left once or twice. go away. come back. go away. GETS SCARED!!!!!#why cant one of you just profess your love to me and i dont have to do this bullshit
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#my profile clearly states that im looking for something long-term… why do u even bother matching w me?? just swipe left like a normal person#i will never understand men. like the level of stupidity is genuinely beyond my comprehension
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hey so like legitimately what the fuck is wrong with me
#why am i so afraid to like someone on a dating app#like it’s honestly getting to be a problem because i’ll just swipe left until i see someone i like and then i panic and close the app#so like what the fuck is that about#something to talk about in therapy ig#if i wasn’t broke beyond measure
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been organizing craft nights at the store lately and ive been making posters in canva for them bc i miss canva. </3
is the red string on the bottom obnoxious or does it tie in nicely??
and if i add some small snowflakes on either side of the text at the center, will that be too busy??
or what if i add the tassels from the top into the center instead??
#the tassels on top i still need to center so Dont mind it#brot posts#my left thumb is the one i injured today so to type somewhat fast with only one hand I’m using swipe typing#so uhm i dont know why it auto capitalized dont up there#and i dont know why it’s not doing it anymore but uhm lol whatevs#love that i says whatevs enough for swipe to recognize it
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and I’m ✨scared✨#technically it’s nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly I’m going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesn’t open until 10#but like fuck if I’m gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and I’m exhausted#I’ve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. that’s gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates must’ve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didn’t get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think it’s cause I’m self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? it’s a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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crazy how whenever i try using a dating app and change my preferences from women & nb ppl only to add men the app starts showing me only men. and most of them look so fucking intimidating too like ?
#it somehow feels sooo much scarier swiping right on a guy than it feels on a girl#why is being bisexual so hard. why is wanting to date so hard in general#i wanna go out with someone#i want someone to like me#ugh#also worst thing happened. i saw one of my classmates...... immediately swiped left ofc#anyways. ill probably delete it tomorrow. i should go to sleep#cami.txt
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The dysphoria has been so much the past week
#i .#i#im a man#why do i LOOK LIKE THIS#GAH#i dony hRe how i look!!!!!! i think i even look masculine some days!!!! but NO ONE ELSE SEES THAT#and it hurts like im being stabbed dude it rlly does#i walked into a store recently and the obviously queer worker approached me and said the womens clothes were on the other sode of the store#n i left immediately ♡#i hate itni hate it i hate it#i want someone to see me and not think feminine things right off the bat#i like being feminine!!!! but not as yhe first and only thpught!!!!! pls god i just want someone to see me and not think im a girl 😭😭😭#is it too much to ask!!! yelling#in my head i am growing claws to swipe at peole with
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List of things I don’t get the appeal of:
•Kpop
•Manga
•Japan (I love Japanese food though, especially the fish)
•Cars
•Video games
•Science fiction
•Fantasy literature
Several of these things are considered ‘geeky’ but they’re hardly niche.
Video games are a multi million dollars industry. Same with science fiction and fantasy. There are conventions, forums and tv shows for people into these as well as manga and Kpop with huge concert venues. Japan is a very trendy destination. Cars are… god it’s so boring I can’t take it seriously when people - mostly men and some lesbians who think emulating men is super cool- are into cars.
You know what’s actually niche? Reading historical books about the Bourguignon dynasty or about 12th century béguines. Give me that over that lame anime shit.
#if a woman puts video games as a hobby on Tinder#I will swipe left#unless she is very attractive#which is never the case#of course#note that most of these interests are masculine-coded which is why a lot of stupid women gravitate towards them#because anythint perceived as ‘feminine’ is seen as less than#it’s very telling
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I really hope this is like Bloodhound Gang lyrics or something. I’m scared
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new job gave me an ip*one as a work phone, and after a week of using i can confidently say it's terrible. da xbf joked (?) that it would make me see the error of my Pixel ways (he's an iFag) but um i think he's just a masochist. the keyboard fucking sucks and the lack of a Back gesture is jarring and frustrating, to mention the biggest gripes
#the settings are also laid out stupid#it is an old phone so i can excuse the presence of a physical home button but come onnnn why do i have to press that to unlock#on the google i can just swipe up to get the keypad#also you can only swipe left to dismiss notes?? that's so unintuitive for righties
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i was reading a jonelias fic last evening and i recieved this beautifully coincidental notification
#i think you can all guess why i swiped right#the magnus archives#i matched with an elias but they left me on seen… (get it)#everytime i read a good fic i suddenly believe in love again and redownload bumble
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FUCK me I voted by accident and now I don’t even know where I added to this mans.....
#its only been broken since yesterday and im still using it in denial#i cant even read the right half of any text posts and im posting this on an ipad from 8 years ago#no i will not use the ipad to browse instead#dont ask why the home button is taped over that part broke over a year ago#i was using assistive touch to take its place but the part of the screen i gotts touch to use it#got eaten by the broken bit so i cant even close or swap apps properly lol#i gotta swipe down and search for the app but only if most of the letters are on the left side of the keypad#im sure itll stop being funny as soon as im outta weed so im gonna enjoy fucking with it at least until like 8 pm today
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pardon the poor quality and mess but as you can tell i love: eggs (gotta have them in as many different ways as possible - soy cured yolks. miso cured yolks. mayak eggs. onsen eggs. i always prep a new batch of all four of these every week. ikura. tobikko. ebikko. mentaiko. salted eggs. century eggs. quail eggs. all the eggs. i have to have more than five varieties at any one time...); sauces (i LOVE spicy food and since i started working out of southeast asia i've been collecting sambals and sauces and people keep gifting them to me and this is only like HALF of my sauce collection....); candy and ice-cream.
also my necessities are always: rice (i don’t care what tiktok and studies*~*~ tell me i keep like two tupperwares of rice - one in the fridge one in the freezer, one jasmine rice one koshihikari - so i can have just reheat it quick and have rice with my dishes/make onigiri), natto, dashi (i always make a tupperware of it during the weekend so i can just take it out to make miso soup/tamogayaki/dashichazuke/tsuyu) + pickles (especially cucumbers and radishes) + cream cheese (honestly. sometimes i'm rushing too much/too lazy and disgusting about it to even toast bread so i eat it by the spoonful asdfghjk. my new fave is buldak cream cheese which one of my neighbours made for me... so good... life changing.)
also sometimes i keep some facemasks in the side compartment as a treat :'). and yes all my meats are processed and frozen meats. living alone again makes me so lazy, it's just not worth the effort to clean and prep and cook my own meats so i just buy them on the way home/just fry/roast frozen meats. those beef nuggets are BOMB by the way. it's like a mini hamburger patty with a crumb crust, a little like tiny menchikatsu)
i’m SO curious about the different things people around the world drink and eat and keep in the fridge to make meals with so could you please reblog this with photos of the inside of your fridge and freezer
#prev... your parents' food is so good... i would like photos. for me. and possibly if you could fly them over to me i would not complain.#also i LOVE looking at people's kitchens and pantries and fridges#op if you're interested in stuff like this#there's r/fridgedetective. many germans there for some reason i don't know why but i enjoy looking at the stuff they have#and korean cooking-type variety shows are a good source too#there's 냉장고를부탁해 (please take care of my fridge)#where they lug people's fridges into the studio and ooh and aahh and assess the contents and help clean them up#and then make food based on what's in the fridges#and there's also 신상출시편스토랑 where you get to follow celebs around at home#as they try to come up with dishes that could get sold at convenience stores#when i create my tinder competitor dating app where you swipe left/right#based on their fridge photos........
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