#why r nights cavalry kinda.....................

[messmers]

my horny ass would not survive in elden ring

[datingintampafails]

Chapter 11: Darren*

Disclaimer: a multitude of events/details have been left out of this chapter, both for increased anonymity of myself and the gentleman in question, as well as I started writing this two months after this all happened, so apologies.

Darren* is actually someone that I work with at one of my jobs, of which I have three. Upon starting my position there and meeting him, I was immediately attracted. He is from a Scandinavian country originally and just comes with that natural Scandinavian good looks. He acted a little immature, in a way that is just everything is sexual, a natural flirt. For a few months, I had an innocent little crush on him, purely infatuation. 

Often we would say hi in passing and he was always really helpful when it came to patients. He got along with everyone and despite his lewdness, I really enjoyed working with him. There were multiple times that we would walk and talk in the hall, he would express embarrassment to me over him having acne, and would openly announce that he was switching what side he was on because he didn’t want me to see it. I, in my thinking he was out of my league and I was secured in the friend/coworker zone, would be super transparent, and as well complain about my acne, and described in detail the acne patches I would use.

All seemed platonic until one day out of the blue he just leaned in close to me and asked me if he could have my Snapchat. I immediately was like oh yeah of course! From there, we talked throughout the days daily for about a week. 

I let him and my coworker in MRI know that I’m gonna bring in food on the weekend since I got a huge crockpot meal from my Home Chef meal kit boxes and wanted to share the love. When really, although I did do that, I was on purpose making sure I did it on a day Darren* was working. I made sure to wear an outfit that would get his attention without trying too hard: well-fitting yoga pants and a tank top. I arrive and I call their department to let them know I’m here with food. Darren* answers the phone and there’s video chat so I also see him. I say “hey I’m here! Chicken tacos in the break room.” He says “Are they hard or soft?” in the innuendo way he does. What he doesn’t know, is he’s met his match since I’m also kind of a perv. I respond “what do you think?” seductively and with a wink. He laughs and just goes “oh alright.” I say “Nah but seriously they’re soft tacos.” He says “my favorite! We’ll be over soon.” The cavalry arrives and everyone eats their food and thanks me. I’m not really getting the quality time I was hoping for but I’m still happy. Finally, everyone starts to kinda make their way out until it’s just Darren* and I. We just chat. This is when somehow or another I find out he has a tattoo in a more rated R area. I laugh. He asks me about my outfit and if I am going to the gym. I say no that I was just trying to be comfortable but still look good enough to be outside of my house. He says he should probably get back to work and will snap me later.

Late that night, I ask him more about his tattoos, and I tell him about mine. I send him photos of a couple of my PG tattoos, he sends me his PG tattoos (yes this does imply we both have rated R tattoos). I think this is a moment that is kind of exposing but could also just be innocent as well. 

The next week, we again worked together, and he would come by, a little more than usual, saying hi to me and chatting before returning to work. The last time he stops by before he leaves for the day, he gives me a hug. Now, this hug wasn’t like a normal hug, it was super awkward, incredibly on my part.

You see, I did not expect this to happen and I was sitting down so he approached me for the hug while I was sitting. In attempts to make this less horrible, which backfired, I decided to begin standing up during the hug. Not only did I do this, no that would be still not horrible, but I then put my arms around him diagonally. Yes, that cringy one arm on the shoulder/neck and the other around the waist. At this moment I am well aware of what terrible state I am in, but am surprised and pleased that regardless of how awkward I have positioned myself that he is still holding onto me. He is in fact at this moment squeezing me tightly, comfortably. 

Somehow this embrace lasts for probably a good twenty seconds. I’m sure I am red in the face but he says bye talk to you later and leaves. Immediately, I Snapchat him and say “I’m so sorry that was such an awkward hug. I need a do-over please.” His response is something along the lines of, “It’s all good I live for the cringe” with a laughing face emoji. Otherwise, we continue to talk as we were.

I offer him my number, thinking like we are getting along well and are maybe at that point. He says that he actually prefers Snapchat, as his cell service isn’t very good with his provider (which I shall not name), so he communicates a lot more with Snapchat anyway. We somewhere too in this time say we’re going to hang out on Saturday, and I’ll cook him some food.

Oh and now is your first preview of me being sneaky and retrieving Snapchat screenshots via taking pics of my phone screen. Step One, send a thirst trap. 

Step Two: He responds to the thirst trap. I remember also saying something after that, despite not having it in the screenshot, where I say, “Is that why you don’t wear a dress to work?” Which is what he is responding to in the third photo.

I’m also still wondering, is he just being a flirt, or is this man interested? Soon I would get my answer. 

Now, it is the weekend, Friday night. I mention to him that I’m walking to my friend’s house and I’m going over to drink some wine and eat pasta. I send him Snapchats of my friend on Hinge swiping, and us playing “Tinder March Madness,” a game I saw on Tik Tok and thought was funny. Essentially, you right-swipe on all of the men, no matter what. Give it some time and wait for the matches to roll in. Then there are certain point values that go along with certain dating profile tropes. The person with the most points “wins” each round until the “Ultimate Tinder Guy” is found. Anyway, I send these to him half to be like LOL look at this stupid stuff, half to see if I get a rise out of him/he gets a little bit jealous. He is also with friends, so I don’t necessarily get in-depth answers or quick responses. I do mention to him that I’m leaving my friend’s apartment soon, and will be walking by myself. At this point it is nighttime. We do live in a relatively nice area, but it’s still a little scary to walk by yourself in the dark. I give him a call via Snapchat, he doesn’t answer but I know he’s with his friends, so it’s all good.

I arrive home and almost immediately after I walk through the door, I get a Snapchat call back from him. He asks me if I’m okay and if I got home safely. I am honestly surprised he called me back. I tell him I’m fine. He continues to talk to me on the phone and even puts me on speakerphone. The one part that hurts my soul is he does say that I’m his “friend, Mandy,” but hey, a friend is better than a co-worker. I talk with his friends about gaming, drinking, say I’ll drink some Everclear with them, go really hard. Darren* then says he’s gonna find somewhere more private to talk to me, takes me off speakerphone. We shoot the shit a little more, then he says he had just gone running and is gonna take a shower and will talk to me later. I end the call.

Literally one minute after ending the call, I receive a Snapchat from him. This is a picture Snapchat. It is a photo of him completely naked. Where his package would be is conveniently blocked by the level of the counter in his bathroom. Highly suggestive, though not a complete nude. What is my response? Something along the lines of “oh my!!!!” Any confusion I had was gone. Like alright, this man just sent this photo to you because he is into you. It’s late and I’m going to sleep anyway, so I figure I’ll just message him in the morning to clear things up before we hang out.  

Before I can even confront him in the morning, he messages me. I, unfortunately, don’t have a screenshot for this. But he says whereas he isn’t exactly looking for a relationship at this moment, that he wants to see where things go with me and see what happens. I tell him that how I feel is I don’t like to put expectations on anything anyway and that I’m happy to do that and just follow where the vibes go between us. We’ve come to an agreement! With that, he says he is super hungover and is going to take a nap, and will let me know about coming over later. By the early evening, he says he wants to reschedule since he still feels like shit. I’m on call a lot, so we just schedule it tentatively for next Saturday and I see if I can get my call covered another day sooner so we can see each other before then. 

I’m able to contact my manager the next day and I let him know I now have Wednesday free for him. I’m on call at our workplace the day I let him know that, and I jokingly tell him he is in charge of calling me in. Of course, I actually do get called in, though it isn’t him that lets me know. I arrive and hang out in the area he works in while I wait for the patient to be ready. He is not there and is off doing other stuff. He comes in and is surprised to see me, which checks out since I did tell him I was coming in, but he hadn’t opened that Snapchat yet. We hug hello, not awkwardly now, and he talks about his hands being cold. Essentially then we are holding hands. While the other coworkers are off tending to patients, we stand close together and chat. My patient arrives, and I ask him to help me move them. I observe him with a patient and he really is a great caregiver, it’s attractive. He helps me then says he’s gonna run back to his department and will be back. When he returns he says he is actually leaving for the night. My patient’s scan is more or less on autopilot, so I position ourselves away from the window that looks into the room. I embrace him and say I’m looking forward to seeing him next time we work together and on Wednesday. I think back and know I probably should have kissed him, but I didn’t, probably the thought of being at work and although no one was there and watching, still felt inappropriate.

I finished my work and returned home. Monday we spoke throughout the day, flirtatious and excited. We worked together Tuesday and when I walked in for the day, I immediately happened upon him in the break room. I sat down next to him and discussed timeframes for our hangout the next day. He is happy and upon another coworker walking in, I briefly say hey and disperse. Darren* comes into my department, as he does often, and is talking with everyone. One of our coworkers mentions to him that they want to talk to him about something. I’m not sure what it is about, but I do get a hit of anxiety wondering if he had told them about me, and it was regarding our relationship. Work goes by and they do go off and talk. Afterward, he is kinda brief in saying goodbye, which makes my anxiety increase. 

I send him a message just again mentioning a timeframe for our next day’s plans. An hour or so after he left he responds saying that he is actually starting to talk to someone and didn’t want to do the next day because he didn’t want to jeopardize that, as he thought if he came over the next day he didn’t know what would happen. His phrasing was “is it okay” if we don’t see each other. So I say something like, “well I wouldn’t want to complicate things, I’m not happy about it but I understand.” He also expressed he was worried about work, though, at this point, I was about to start my new job and had told him about this. He mentions not having a “crystal ball” and that he doesn’t know what will happen in the future, blah blah blah. That we could still be with each other someday.

I am beyond confused. Literally three days before this, he had been the one to initiate things and asked for us to see where things go, wasn’t interested in a relationship, when suddenly now he is, albeit with someone else, and is interested enough to be afraid something romantic would happen if we were alone together, but not enough see where it goes.

In response, I give into a TikTok trend where you ask people what your type is. I did this that night. He did not take kindly to it. His response was kind of like, what is this? I was angry and thought this was a good way to have some self-deprecating humor. Essentially “douchebag,” “extroverted gamer,” “emotionally unavailable,” “guys with girlfriends,” and “Trump supporters,” were mentioned in this. Many of those descriptions which could describe Darren* at that moment. 

I was still very hurt days afterward and didn’t know what would happen once we saw each other again at work. Come next workday together, he was starting to be on temperature check duty at the hospital. I did not know he was though, and stumbled upon him as I was going out to say hi to another co-worker I knew was out there. It was very awkward at first but we became more on friendly terms. Toward the end of the night, we were alone back inside for a moment. I asked him some questions about his life and such. As the night went on we did embrace a few times and were very close. It was more confusing but he did still seem into me. We left at the same time and he walked me to my car where we lingered and talked and held each other. I did feel pretty bad, as I would sometimes see his phone, see him talking to this other girl, and sometimes I would just happen to see his messages with her and could tell that he did care for her. And in character, it was on Snapchat, so he may have been completely honest regarding using Snapchat as his primary communication method.

Basically a similar scenario continued on for the next four weeks, each time it becomes more and more difficult/intimate. One week we took a walk around the campus and cuddled in the grass, watching the stars. The bugs made us move, but we had a closeness. We just barely kissed one time. He would grab my hips and touch my body when we were alone. Constantly he would resist, I was just as confused as he wasn’t dating this person. Another night, we are walking together doing rounds through the hospital, when one of his close coworkers casually mentions he’s uncircumcised. Which was just some bizarre information. It was funny to see him embarrassed.

Finally, after four weeks of this “what is going on” scenario, I have him call me. I tell him essentially that if he and this woman are still not exclusive, that we should still give this a shot or at least hang outside of work and see what is truly going on. I reiterate his crystal ball thing. I am truly speaking in our both interests, as we have been playing a dangerous game. He says he will talk to her that night and figure out what is going on, as she has been kind of putting off/delaying that conversation. He says he will let me know what she says and will think about it if they don’t become exclusive, as he admits that he doesn’t see the point of staying with her if she doesn’t want to become official. I follow up the next day, asking how it went. He says it didn’t come up and apologizes, though saying he will soon. A few days after that, I find out that they must have had the conversation, because “Darren* is now in a relationship” appears on my Facebook news feed. I message him in Snapchat and congratulate him. I do truly wish them the best, and take the situation as a lesson learned.

A couple of months later, present-day as I write this, I notice a name that looks familiar on a patient’s chart. Casually I bring it up to my coworker, saying “isn’t that Darren*’s girlfriend?” and it is confirmed. I become infuriated and text my friend immediately, explaining the situation I have just uncovered. This new information does add to my displeasure, as I realize that this guy’s now girlfriend also works here and that it is quite possible that he could have been seeing her on any of those days that we had become so close. This disgusted me. I did see him a couple of days later and casually mentioned to him, “I didn’t know your girlfriend worked here.” He hit me with a “yeah she does.” I felt it important to let him know, I know. I try and remain cordial, but it is extremely difficult when I learn more and more about how scummy he is. Later that day that I let him know, he told me it was “good seeing me” and I literally responded with a vomit noise. Even if things don’t work out with his lady, and I’m still single, that “crystal ball” will not do him any favors.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The Bitter Three

also on AO3!

TL;DR: Three people without the Heroic quirks Japan demands, determined to help people that never helped them. --- Midoriya, Shinsou and Monoma are good friends. This changes everything.

Basically, Midoriya, Shinso and Monoma make friends in middle school and bond over their lack of heroic quirks and their fight to become heroes anyway.

they are also all petty bitter little bitches

monoma gets in to the hero course, but only just, and turns it down because hes not leaving izuku and shinsou to rot alone in gen ed. they make it together or not at all.

Izuku and Hitoshi take the entrance exam and feel their hearts sink when they see the robots.

Hitoshi gets 5 points. Izuku gets 20, 18 of which are rescue points. Their low scores hurt more than 0s, and getting into UA feels like a slap in the face.

Izuku is top 5 on the written exam, Hitoshi in the top 40. Izuku sends in supplementally analysis pages with his application because hes knows hes going to get marked down for being quirkless and he needs something special to help him stand out.

Anyway, they kick absolute a s s in the sports festival

and end up in first, second and third. the hero kids are,,, kinda pissed honestly

monoma is more valid in this au! but izuku is a little less valid? idk they are all bitter bitches

hero society sucks dick

but like,,, bitter monoma helping izuku build self confidence and izuku helping monoma stop being a such a dick

Sludge villain doesn’t quite happen. Allmight finds the villains trying to shove itself into a stray cat, its messy and a little heartbreaking. He deals with the villain, puts it in a bottle then de-powers to try to bury the poor thing because it really didn’t deserve this.

That’s when izuku comes by, he cries when the scary skinny guy explains what happened to the cat

"the poor thing got caught between a vilain and a hero."

"that,,, that’s not fair!"

"I know kid. Its not"

Izuku starts digging a little grave for the cat with his hands, placing some flowers over it and saying a quick prayer.

Yagi is talking to him (hes already given OFA to mirio, on speaking terms with nighteye again) and finds out izuku wants to be a hero. This soft hearted kid that cried for a stray cat and made his hands bleed to dig it a grave.

Yagi tells him he used to be a pro and would love to help him get into UA.

So in this au Yagi helps izuku train for the entrance exam! But without the massive focus of muscle building to hold OFA. He gets izuku to clean up the beach to build some muscle, but they run through different fighting styles, practise analysis and yagi supervises sparring between shinso, monoma and izuku.

He tells them about the gen ed “loop hole” to get into heroics and warns them about how bias the entrance exam is. There is no harm in taking it to put your face in front of the heroics teachers, but its almost impossible to pass without a destructive quirk.

So, the sports festival:

izuku wins the footrace same way as in canon, monoma is somewhere in the top 10 and hitoshi is in the bottom third

only the 3 of them make a team for the cavalry battle, monoma is the rider and izuku and hitoshi are the horses. they dont want to give away hitoshi's quirk if they can help it so they dont use it much. they come 3rd overall.

Izuku is really strong from all the heavy lifting at the beach so honestly its mostly just him hauling monoma around and hitoshi sprinting after him.

and then the tournament

they see the names come up and izuku starts to cry and the other two panic because why?? But they look at him and see hes grinning through his tears

"someone was looking out for us. we are going to c r u s h this"

hitoshi's first match is vs bakugo.

he wins because bakugo has no chance to work out his quirk

monoma is against todoroki.

he takes out his ice with a whirlwind of fire and lets him slip out of the ring on a patch of ice

izuku is vs momo.

he uses her creations against her and she losing in a hand to hand brawl

hitoshi takes out kirishima next.

another round without a punch thrown, he gets him by insulting Bakugo

monoma gets rid of shinozaki with his last few seconds todoroki's quirk

izuku trips iida over the boundary

in the semi finals izuku takes out uraraka by flipping her out of bounds. it was close and he only just made it, izuku and uraraka’s match was b r u t a l. the main reason he won is the he noticed the rock shower and pulled Uraraka under it with him. She didn’t have enough time to react and got struck on the head with some pieces of rubble which dazed her pretty badly.

monoma and shinsou joke durring their fight that they are fighting for the chance to get their ass kicked by izuku

shinsou wins

izuku wins over all, shinso comes second. midoriya has better fighting form to him and knows his quirk inside out

for the first time in UA’s history, the top 3 places on the podium are all gen ed students.

aizawa is god damned proud of these kids hes never met

yagi is crying a little because he was treated terribly for being quirkless and he heard what kids did to izuku and hes just so proud this nervy little kid was brave enough and strong enough to kick ass on live TV for all of japan to watch.

“Do us quirkless boys proud, kid.”

A little on their family lives

Shinso

foster kid with a pretty crappy family. Not physically abusive but hes without a doubt the least favourite child. Gets less money for an allowance, has to follow the rules more closely, isn’t allowed friends over etc.

They don’t really talk to him because of his quirk. They’ll ask him questions or tell him to do things but tend to point blank ignore him if he asks something.

Its not the worst foster family hes been it but its not the best. Hes not going to raise a fuss because its nice and close to UA and hes dealt with worse.

Monoma

mother was a police officer and died when Monoma was young, raised by his single father.

His father had some bad ex-girlfriends that were pretty terrible to Monoma but he believed him and they broke up every time.

Other kids didn’t like to play with him because he was a “copy cat” so he acted mean and pretended he didn’t want to play with the other kids because they were “below him”

Didn’t have friends until Izuku and Hitoshi but he wasn’t exactly bullied, just disliked. Not that he tried very hard to be likable.

Izuku

Same as canon mostly but a touch different too

His mother, while still kind, is more absent. Works night shifts and sees a lot of her husband in her son so she don’t really try to spend much time with him.

Izuku knows nothing about his father, other than the fact he demanded izuku be tested for a quirk when he was born. He assumes the guy skipped out in his mum when they found out he didn’t have one but he doesn’t know for sure.

Bakugo is Bakugo as you well know. Izuku has a history of passive suicidal ideation due to a lack of self worth and the belief the nobody cares about him at all.

How did they meet? It’s a mess really. Bakugo burn one of Izuku’s arms badly enough that he had to limp to a hospital after school, where he met Shinsou who was there for much the same reason. They talked for a bit before Monoma, Shinsou’s school friend, bursts in and starts ranting about how hes going to copy All Mights quirk and punch the girl that hurt Shinsou into next year.

They bond.