#why not take a gentle hand?
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cauldron-of-oddities · 2 months ago
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So I can't know what Amanda was exactly thinking but I have some thoughts (as alas it is occasionally something I get to deal with in my worklife; kids rarely lash out without reason) and it has actually been bugging me, because the girl’s always wanted love and acceptance, and craves it. You can't tell me Ekko's (presumed) offer would have been turned down, just like that. Something probably triggered it.
One: would probably be “This is not you.” And Jinx is probably desperate to be tough, so the world can't hurt her again, and he's telling her to be what she perceives as her weak self. It's probaly two fold: Why won't you accept me? And: Stay away from me (to be safe).
Two: The love for the parent/caretaker.
Never make the parent an enemy or put them in a bad light, with the child present. Why not? Is what you'd think in the case of abusive, manipulative, or demanding parents.
You stay neutral. You offer the child a safe space. You set a good example of support of understanding, care, and respect. But you do not villainize.
Why? Because of emotional bonds, of love. Because of loyalty, because of guilt. There's a danger of driving the kid away and reaffirming the partens notion of 'seethere's only me to rely on'. That's the thing you want to avoid.
And well, I think we have more than enough probable cause to say that Ekko definitely sees Silco as a villain.
So Jinx has locked Powder away, embraces her hurt and loneliness as a shield and turns to the monster who embraced her. Who else could love her? She is Jinx. And this is the one person(monster) who lets her be strong, who loves the monster. This is where her loyalty and love have gone.
And then there's this. Kids (tween in this case) mimic what is done to them, often subconsciously.
They're not fully (if at all) aware of what they're doing, just reenacting the hurt.
And wasn't that slap the most painful thing done to her along with her perceived abandonment? The proof that she's a jinx.
How better to drive someone away? How better to (try) to shatter a bond? Then, to inflict the act, that caused yours to break.
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zaahvi · 13 days ago
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"I am Elgar'nan — First of the Firstborn, Last of the Evanuris."
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sysig · 1 year ago
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Chewtoy (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Papyrus#Sans#Squeeze him - he makes a squeaky toy noise#Everyone needs to bite Gaster! He doesn't yield like flesh so it probably doesn't even hurt right? Yeahhhh he'll be fiiiine#There is something very funny to me about him just sitting there and taking it tho lol - feeds into his martyr play â™Ș#As if I don't already have a favourite martyr hmmm don't worry about it lol#What was he even doing why is he just letting 2-P bite him lol#Socialization? That's not a good thing to just let him do! He's still got a young mind! Boundaries are important#He does offer a way out - hehe ♫ - but he doesn't enforce it! You're setting them up for failure#Hehehehe#The bone gift was fun to doodle hehe â™Ș He leaves it with him and it goes completely untouched while his arm is covered in teeth-marks pfft#Even with Papyrus a bit more unruly I still like to imagine he acts mean in largely harmless ways haha#Like yeah he's being naughty and biting when he knows better and offered other options - Gaster. Gentle enforcement - but he's not Hurting#He's not using his entire bite force - probably lol or he's just got weak little baby bites (though those can be quite painful!)#Sans on the other hand would absolutely go 100% full power - and still only do 1HP lol what an unfortunate design quirk for him#If only he had a jaw he could open! He'd bite the heck outta Gaster! Alas#I do like to imagine Fellplates!Sans has just fast-tracked to classic's conclusion of ''You suck and I hate you. Die'' about Gaster lol#Even the possibility of not being mean to him is so alien! What do you /mean/ not hurt you?? Do you know who you're talking to??#He'll find another way to mess with him in good time haha
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mxbbadperson · 9 days ago
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Ok ok hear me out
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Jayce can’t really gift viktor much but it doesn’t mean he’s not gonna give him anything !! Viktors medicine was the only thing that helped his mother finally get up from her bed, finally able to talk and walk and actually muster up energy to get thru the day!! And viktor is so nice, humble, and giving he didn’t even ask for a dime, how? why?
He doesn’t have much to give, but he gifts him one thing: a teddy bear— he knows it was stupid, the boys his age probably grew out of toys, let alone teddy bears. But viktor doesn’t laugh when taking it, he’s smiling and touching foreheads as a thank you.
(and Jayce isn’t dumb, he knows of zaunite traditions and that forehead touches were means of affection— viktor likes him. And so does he.)
(Jayce brocon Talis 2000 hehehehehe)
(au: viktor as the miracle child who heals people, jayce comes looking for him for his mom)
...AWWW THAT'S SO SWEET
jayce is nervous, he knows that the teddy bear isn't well made bc he's not that good at sewing and really how can it compare to... everything that viktor already has? but viktor beams when he sees it, shyly asks if it's really for him and holds jayce's hand and presses his forehead against his
(and jayce's breath stutters, his eyes widening. he can feel himself flush, his heart beating faster. and he knows that while he doesn't have as much to give, that he only has his hands and his work and himself, he'll give everything to viktor)
(JAYCE IS A BROCON SPEAKERS RISE UP. yeah, i don't care abt the whiplash)
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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 8 months ago
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saviour
She picks it up, gasping. The last barrier, her child, is gone. It is time to rest, and she has been ready for so long.
Still: she hesitates.
He tackles her, and she lands hard. Her eyes are wild and she struggles to be free; he does not let her.
“Give it to me.” His voice is dry and crisp and lacks emotion. She hesitates again, then hands it over with numb fingers. Then she makes eye contact.
Vaniah looks very tired as he says, “Why?”
“You know why.”
His eyes close and his shoulders sag a little. “I left the child with Anneka,” he says quietly. “You can meet her someday, if you like.”
“Who is Anneka?” She doesn’t care, but has to say something to fill in the empty space.
The smile reaches his eyes and she likes the way it makes him look. “My wife. We’ll take care of your child—if you want us to.”
“I never want to see her again.” Her voice catches, and she cannot look him in the eyes. “I want to die, Vaniah.”
“I know.” He pushes back his sleeve and shows her scarring; it is terrible to see, but it seems like his destiny.
“I’ve wanted to for a long time. I stayed for the child. Now she doesn’t need me.”
“The world needs you. Mordecai needs you.”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t spoken to Mordecai in a long, long time.”
“He still loves you,” says Vaniah with certainty. His expression is very gentle, and she still cannot look at him. “I met him in the street recently; and he has forgiven me.”
“I have been a fool.” She is unable to speak any further.
“So have I: and God has forgiven me.”
“What do I care of God?” and she is blazing with rage. “Where was he when I went through hell?”
Vaniah is silent. At last he says, “Right beside you.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in God.” She studies his hands, wondering if she can wrench it free and complete her mission.
Vaniah sees her gaze and shifts his hands more securely. “I didn’t. I do now. But if you don’t want to talk about it we don’t have to.”
Her shoulders slump and she wants to cry. “I don’t want to live, Vaniah.”
“Neither did I. At risk of sounding cliched: it gets better. Life becomes worth the living.”
“Teach me to live.” Her voice is bitter, sarcastic. “If you’re going to stop me dying, teach me to live!” This time she does cry.
For the rest of her life she remembers how he looks at her, at the kindness and love with which he treats her. How he doesn’t pity her. How he saves her from her worst enemy, herself. How he doesn’t leave her alone until he’s found someone else who can take care of her.
How he shows her the first light she’s seen in her personal darkness for a very long time.
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thatsitso · 1 year ago
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Just finished The Lord of the Rings (I cried)
#the lord of the rings#lotr#lotr fanart#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#frodo#sam#my art#art#drawing#sketch#the last book broke me#like Frodo and Sam's relationship 😭😭 insane#should I ramble here I think I will#cause like gahhshs shipping or not shipping aside they're insane they love each other so much 😭😭#the way Sam helps Frodo and sacrifices himself and takes care of him and KISSES HIS HANDS WHY DID HE DO THAT SO MUCH ONFHC#and the way he would rather save Frodo than try saving the whole world 😭#and how he does everything to help him and make things easier for him and how understanding and gentle he is and the kisses ueueue#ï»żand how at the end he wants to marry a girl but also doesn't want to leave Frodo so they all move in together what 😭????#and then Frodo leaves 🧍 I CRIED I knew it was going to happen but aghhhdhd in the book it was sth else#overall it was such a great read (listen actually I'm an audiobook girlie)#I wasn't like obsessed I think I had higher expectations but I still loved it sm and the last book really got me đŸ„č#and these two istg đŸ„čđŸ„čđŸ„č#also Legolas and Gimli I GET YOU SHIPPERS NOW I UNDERSTAND#I love them dearly#again platonic or romantic idc I love their relationship so muchhh#and since nothing about them was said at the end I can be delusional that they're still together forever#anyway yeah#lotr fandom welcome#I've got some drawings ideas and also I really enjoy sketching the characters so I'll be posting more soon
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gynandrophagy · 6 months ago
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it’s dark. the machine pulls speech and static hum from the air — it would be just stray photons and radio waves, if not for you —
within you the darkness shimmers — and I’m the movement in it, the cold in your chest — and I’m the voice inside the voices, inside your pareidolia cascading between sight and sound and your buzzing fingertips, and through you, as I grow the static swims in the dark and I become
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yourqueenb · 2 years ago
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Ngl though, I was very worried about Lancelot. I know he’s the best knight in the realm or whatever, but the writing for him is so good that I actually care about what happens to him and can feel the emotional conflict along with MC
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agdab · 2 years ago
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thinking about how my family would make fun of me for enjoying having my hair washed at the salon as a child but i realize now it was just sheer touch starvation and this was one of the few instances of positive physical contact that i felt safe with 😬
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fairsweetlonging · 2 months ago
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@whodecidedweneedrealityanyway your tags i NEED them
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shen jiu isn't a fan of liu qingge, he really isn't; the man is a brute, uncivilized, jumping to conclusions first chance—but he's honorful, and fiercely protective over the people that he cares about, and he seems to care for the future shen qingqiu. more pressingly, though, shen jiu knows any version of himself won't take "just because" as a good enough reason to avoid someone, and in a weird way, he's glad shen qingqiu doesn't remember the horrid life and death of shen jiu, that some version of him can finally feel free, so he doesn't want to make him relive it. no way in hell.
that leaves only liu qingge.
he can't give a reason; he hates telling anyone, but he sucks it up and asks anyway, and asks again, and liu qingge doesn't know what's going or, nor does he understand the weird relation between shen qingqiu and yue qingyuan, or feels much for essentially "turning against" the sect leader. but shen jiu is asking him, shen jiu, who never asks for anything, sounding more earnestly than he has ever sounded before.
liu qingge wants to know if yue qingyuan is dangerous, and he gets this intense look in his eyes that makes shen jiu's stomach flip. he isn't. not like that. but shen jiu tells him that yue qingyuan made him a promise and he broke it, never giving him a reason or explanation, and until shen jiu has one, he can't be trusted. and he certainly can't weasel his way back in using shen qingqiu's memory loss as a cover to not have to explain himself.
liu qingge won't pretend he fully understands, but he cares deeply about shen qingqiu, having vowed to protect him with his life, and that includes this, too.
"don't let him take advantage of me. please. too many have done so already, even if my future self cannot remember. he will hurt me again. he always does."
"i won't let any harm come to you, i swear on my life."
"don't promise, just do it."
time travel au where liu qingge and shen qingqiu (yuan) end up accidentally traveling a decade back in time before luo binghe was amitted to qing jing peak and before shen qingqiu had his qi deviation, but after their generation has risen to peak lords.
which means, shen yuan realizes quickly, as they're accosted by said peak lords, that he will have to face shen jiu.
as they're being cleared for demonic energy and the likes, mu qingfang of course instantly detects the poison without a cure eating away at shen yuan's meridians. liu qingge pulls a copy of the treatment plan out of his sleeve (shen yuan blushes a bit, did liu qingge always keep that on hand?), and just like in the current timeline, they agree to keep it under wraps.
shen jiu tries various times to get a moment alone with shen yuan, but he never quite manages because liu qingge is there, who is also... nice?? to him?? for some reason?? shen jiu gets a bit flustered at the solemn politeness and skitters off.
it comes out pretty quickly that shen yuan has "memory loss", and thus can't remember anything that's currently taking place in this time. shen yuan expects scorn, hatred and disdain from shen jiu, expects to be grabbed and interrogated, to arouse suspicion.
but shen jiu looks....... sad???
being transported here threw shen yuan's qi off-balance (even liu qingge had to sit down, which means it's bad), and his cultivation is already so unstable, so when the peak lords are all squabbling and arguing and threatening and raising their voice, he can feel his body shut down. he sees yue qingyuan start to move towards him, which, knowing the future yue qingyuan, he really isn't up for right now—but before the sect leader can get to him someone else is at his back, transferring him qi, holding him up gently by his shoulders, then coaxing him up, leading him outside
shen yuan's been fed qi by every peak lord at least once. he doesn't recognize this one. that means it can only be one person.
he looks up. it's shen jiu.
and it's bizarre, getting fussed over by the scum villain, having gentle hands run along his back, his hair, that clear, soothing voice calming him down. and somehow shen jiu knows exactly what to do?? somehow it works perfectly on him?? it's almost as if shen jiu has known him his whole—
oh.
bodies, like homes, hold memories, even if the original occupants are no longer there. it's the milestone marks on the doorpost that chart a child's growth, blurry photographs faded by time, scuffed floors from well-walked paths, and tiny holes in the walls where pictures once hung.
shen jiu takes him to the bamboo house, pours him tea, and asks, calmly, what he remembers from their childhood.
it's not his childhood, so shen yuan doesn't actually remember anything, but the body he's in does. the memories it holds are emotional rather than visual; he remembers being alone, scared, and hungry. he remembers anger, pain. a dark room. loud voices. he remembers his heart skipping a beat when heavy boots stomp his way. the sound of a whip.
he doesn't have to lie. the memories aren't his own, and they're from long ago, which means shen jiu has them too. and, he supposes, this is his only chance to find out what really happened.
but shen jiu doesn't say anything about it. he just nods and stares, intensely. then he asks shen yuan if he remembers yue qingyuan. shen yuan says no, he doesn't. the conversation takes a very strange turn after that. shen yuan can't help but feel a little queasy when shen jiu asks him if yue qingyuan has taken advantage of his memory loss.
"has he come into your home? has he brought you gifts, sweets? does he invite you for tea? did you accept?"
he has. shen yuan doesn't know why that would be a problem, the sect leader has been nothing but kind and helpful and patient. and generous, too.
when he says yes shen jiu looks furious.
liu qingge (his one) comes to pick him up, and his time with shen jiu is cut short. somewhere he's glad, cuddling into liu qingge's back as he holds him while they fly. he feels a little bad for yue qingyuan, knowing he's probably caused a big fight, but it doesn't sit right with him. he wishes he knew what happened.
.
liu qingge, meanwhile, is having the time of his life fighting himself. it's good practice!
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fairiesthrum · 10 days ago
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satoru’s pregnant wife who can’t keep her hands off him. you’re far along now, and he swears that the more your stomach grows with his child, the hornier you get.
he had to keep on his toes around you in order to not get you so worked up. the pregnancy hormones were really getting to you, and you lashed out at him or cried over every little inconvenience. but what he had to be most careful about was the way he touched you.
if his hand lingered a little too long on your waist — the intention wholeheartedly innocent — you’d somehow take that as an invitation to palm his bulge. it’s happened numerous times recently—even in public!
his poor, pregnant wife had no shame nowadays. yeah, he’s done his fair share of groping your ass when others were around, but it was always under a private eye, secret giggles shared between the two of you.
unfortunately, you had picked up the habit of doing it out in the open. he couldn’t count the amount of times people would gawk in horror, all while you continued to browse the baby section, unbothered, as if you hadn’t squeezed his balls like a stress toy in front of dozens of people. maybe you were an exhibitionist?
either way, it was clear your thoughts only consisted of three things as of late: eat, sleep, and fuck.
how could he resolve this? he wanted to cry. this wasn’t fair! why couldn’t you be this thirsty for his cock when you weren’t pregnant? never in his life would he have thought you could out-freak him. and as badly as he wanted to fuck you senseless in return, he had to be gentle—cautious. sex was increasingly dangerous at this stage — according to the doctor after a long night of abusing your needy cunt — and you were driving him to the brink of madness with the way you were acting.
tensions were higher than they’ve ever been, neither of you speaking or acting on it. however, things came to ahead one morning while he was leaving for work. like usual, he stood by the door in his suit, prepared to head out after your usual once-over. it was a domestic routine he looked forward to every morning despite him whining in your ear about how he was going to be late, watching you softly as you “fix” his collar for the millionth time.
satoru wasn’t stupid. he could tell you were stalling for more time with him, not-so discreetly using it as an excuse to touch him. and don’t think he doesn’t notice how you’re practically sniffing him like an animal in heat. he knew just how much you loved the scent of his cologne, and it was as if you couldn’t help yourself around him when you caught a whiff of it.
now, here’s the part where he may have messed up. after your initial aggressive arousal towards him — plus with the advice the doctor gave him on the down low — he made sure to no longer kiss you on the lips in your current state, and instead, opted for your cheek. when you hand him his lunch, he leans himself down to your height, lips puckered to plant a chaste peck on your soft skin.
though, what he hadn’t expected was for you to outmaneuver him, slapping both hands on the sides of his head, tugging him close to the point that he stumbles as you begin to utterly ravish his mouth.
“mff—!”, satoru sputters in protest against your lips, eyes wide open in shock. his lunch slips from his hand, the bag falling to the ground with a thud. shaky hands hover over your waist, your protruding stomach pressing against his hard abdomen as move against him as sensually as you can.
he doesn’t touch you back just yet, but you force him to. gripping his wrists, you bring his large hands up to palm your round, tender breasts that swelled throughout these past few months. your soft, cherry-flavored lips moved against his in desperation, and he finally responds back, moaning into your mouth with just as much fervor, squeezing the plump flush of your soft tits. the whimper you let out to the massage sends a shudder down his spine and goes straight to his cock.
you pull back, and he finds himself chasing after your lips until you plant a firm hand on his chest. his breathing is ragged, pupils dilated as satoru stares down at you through his blindfold. he takes in the sight of your kiss-swollen lips and furrowed brows, certain he appeared just as flustered.
before he can utter a word, you gaze up at him through your lashes, a cheeky glint in your eyes that he knows all too well.
“stay.” you pout, and he almost finds the willpower left in him to say no—
“please?”
you didn’t have to ask him twice.
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damnibreathealot · 24 days ago
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first post! (kinda shit!!)
big dick simon 'ghost' riley who fucks you stupid by accident!
✎ cw: stomach bulge. no use of condom. mentions of female genitals but no gender!
simon doesn't actually mean to fuck you dumb. it's just that his cock is too big – way too big. he knows his cock size is above average and it's one of the reasons why woman avoided him in the past and rejected him. also because of his ridiculous, frightening aura...
he doesn't even know how he managed to get so lucky with you. the way you take his cock so well, letting him slip it in. inch by inch. he rubs your clit to ease you up, to help you accommodate to his size a lot better and when he gets your sign to let him continue.
he drags his hips back and forth. his tip kissing your cervix with ease slow thrust. he makes sure to be gentle with you, he knows how big he is, and he knows that you can't take it quick at first.
he peppers you with kisses while drawing 8's against your puffy clit. he pays close attention to your expression, noticing your already fucked out face. tears building up in your eyes, eyebrows furrowed, mouth wide open, letting out plenty of moans.
he chuckles, "barley did anything to you and you're already out of your mind."
he moves his hips a bit faster, feeling the familiar clench of your cunt wrapping around his cock. he groans as his cock forming a bulge in your stomach. he grabs your hand and makes you feel it. he does this every time, and it never fails to heighten your arousal. he rubs your clit faster along with moving his hips faster until you both crash from your high.
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sqoa · 2 months ago
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toji zenin, who has only stayed with the zenin clan because he just can’t give up the sweet pussy of his personal servant—you.
because you don’t adhere to the strict rules given to the servants. and you can’t bring yourself to care about them either.
because why should you wake toji up by parting his window shutters and letting the sun stir him awake, when you could rouse him from sleep with your lips wrapped around his cock instead? you’re sure he prefers waking to the warmth of your throat, delicate eyes looking up at him through your lashes as you take his length to the base.
his hand, even in his half-asleep state, reaching down to push you even further on his cock until he can feel the back of your throat and your nose is tickled by his dark pubes. because there’s no better alarm sound than that of you gagging on his cock as you swallow the load he gifts you.
and how could he bring himself to leave when he has you at his beck and call at all times? all he has to do is shoot you a look from across the room and you’re ducking out to meet him in a quiet corridor or empty room so he can hike up your robes and drop to his knees to return the mornings favour. sure, he’s a selfish man, but he’s greedy and indulgent when it comes to tasting you.
you always try to be quiet when cumming on his tongue but you never succeed, and toji loves it. he loves knowing the assholes in his clan hear it every time he sinks into you, because you’re moaning his name so pretty that any lesser man would cum as soon as you tighten around his pulsing cock. he loves knowing every time you serve him in their presence they’re only imagining the way you serve him with your cunt behind closed doors.
god, he doesn’t even care to close the door half the time. too many times has a clan elder walked in to see you, pressed up against the wall as toji fucks you from behind with fast strokes and drawling groans. and he never stops, never slows down or even bothers to care about an unwelcome audience—because you never care. you serve him, not them, and if worrying about prying eyes takes from your duties—you’d rather take his affections in stride.
because you are his in every aspect of the word. you serve him hand and foot, you take his cock into your mouth each morning, you let him fuck you full of his cum each evening, you turn his scowl into a gentle smile with each kiss you lay upon his lips. your heart is his, and his yours.
and one morning before the sun has risen to find toji in the servants chambers, his lips patched around your clit and two fingers already pumping into you. he plays the servant, and wakes you for once. you cum not once, but twice around his fingers, back arching as pleasure washes you clean. and as he pulls away with a glistening lower half of his face and presses the most gentle kiss to your inner thigh, he whispers something that changes the course of your life entirely.
“let’s get the fuck outta here, whaddya’ think, dollface?”
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shegetsburned · 4 months ago
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obsessed with sukuna who’s inexplicably fascinated by the way you sleep. <𝟑
he does watch you from time to time but you never realize it. not in a creepy way, but more in a curious one. he mostly wonders why you seem to feel so relaxed in his presence, considering he strikes fear into the soul of anyone he comes upon— but not you. there’s something about you. something deeply annoying.
you’re cutely tucked between his sheets, a little drool dripping from your lips to the pillow. you’re completely relaxed, one naked leg sticks out of the covers while the sound of gentle little snores grace sukuna’s ears. defenseless and completely at his mercy but he finds nothing better to do than to stare.
he hasn’t touched you nor does he wish to disturb your sleep. it’s almost a whine of disgust that escapes his lips when you turn in your sleep and snuggle the pillow which smells just like him. you’re so insufferably adorable. sukuna’s fascinated by the way your rested cheek against the pillow makes your lips puffier and the way your breath follows a particularly peaceful rhythm in unison with the movement of your chest.
little did you know, he’s been staring for hours. watching you unintentionally scratch your hair or tighten your grip around the pillow you’ve been hugging tightly against your chest. your hair’s a mess but it flows beautifully with the messy covers of sukuna’s bed and your mouth opens when you’ve finally reached a deeper state of sleep. he has watched every single one of your movements carefully and still cannot pinpoint the reason why he cannot stop staring.
maybe it’s the fact that you’ve confidently assured him hours prior that you’d never sleep in the company of someone like him. failing miserably when the softness of the sheets overcame your stubbornness. or maybe it’s the way you’ve tried reaching for him even through the night. he had every intention not to allow you to touch him, but the time finally came when he was asleep and your hand found its place on his chest, following the breathing of his burning heart.
remembering how careless you both were disgust him. allowing you to touch him is one thing— because, yes, he allowed you, but to occupy his every thought every since you met him is infuriating. he couldn't even catch a break when you were sleeping. there’s a reason why he felt the need to stay and, of course, he’d refuse to ever admit that he had gone soft on you.
no.
he wants you to be terrified of him. he wants you to fear his name and worship the ground he walks on. he wants to feed on your tears and delight himself on your cries.
does he, though?
"’kuna.."
here it is again. you’re mumbling his name in your sleep and it takes every fibre of his being not to shut you up. an irritation. an itch in his plan. that’s what you were. a nuisance he needed to take care of. his hand moves on its own towards your neck, pointy nails ready to tear your skin apart but seems to stop just over your jaw. an hesitant groan almost wakes you up before you’re lulled back to sleep with long digits simply grazing your cheek.
"shut it, woman."
and before you know it, he’s caging you in his arms, breathing pattern slowly synching with yours while his other hands cover both of your bodies under the warm blankets of his comfortable bed. he won’t let you go until he’s rested and the king of curses does need a exaggerated amount of sleep with you snuggled against his chest.
© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.
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arsenicflame · 2 years ago
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Mothers by Daughter is a song about the relationship between a mother and her child, about how almost parasitic it is, the way it takes and it takes from the moment a child is conceived, and how relationships like these can be complicated and full of mixed feelings. its about how a mothers love will stay through everything, even when it isnt reciprocated. its about a love that will drain you of all you can give and then keep taking and taking until youre no longer who you used to be.
so anyway obviously this song is edizzy to me
#ok LISTEN#'You will grow all you need to grow inside my spine; And then take what you need to take- what's yours is mine'#'And then just give all you want of it to some new thing'#'I'll stay here; the provider of that constant sting they call love'#THATS THEM!!!! THATS SO THEM!!!!!!!#that constant sting they call love is basically my entire blackhands thesis in a single line#the idea that love is inherently painful; that that is how it must be; it cannot be some gentle; peaceful thing;#that love is suffering. a willing suffering given because its love because you love them so of course you will suffer for them#THAT is why i love blackhands that shit hurts so good#obviously they are incredibly wrong in that thought process and we see ed learning that in s1#and i pray to whoever i need to that eventually we will get to see izzy learn that too. to learn that love is kind that love is#unconditional. that he doesnt have to carve himself empty to be valued by another#(this also links into a later bit of the song when shes saying how this experienced changed her; how shes not the same)#i do genuinely think izzy has repeatedly and maybe irreversibly changed himself for ed. carved himself into who ed needed him to be#whether or not ed ever asked; he did it because that was what ed needed and he would do anything for ed#and isnt that love in some way?#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#edward teach#blackhands#edizzy#welcome to another edition of nyxs incredibly long tag rambles feel free to add them into the post (or ask me to do it)#also additional note that as usual whenever i say ' i hope izzy finds love' that i am 99% of the time referring to bellhands#let someone love izzy wholeheartedly and unconditionally and without pain! and let that someone be an even cooler pirate than ed :)
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your-internet-bf · 6 months ago
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It's been a while since you've seen a doctor, and you're nervous as you follow the nurse back to my office. What's there to be nervous about, this is just a little checkup, right? You notice the nurse's manicured burgundy nails as she knocks sharply on the door. She turns to you, smiling prettily, and says, "the doctor will see you now."
You push open the door and enter quite a large room. The nurse follows, closing the door behind you. In the center is the examination table, off to the right is a small crowd of young adults, appearing to be made up of men and women, and on the left is me, seated at my desk. "Welcome," I say, standing and extending one hand. My voice is deep, warm, and smooth, and you fumble for a moment, blushing a little, before you remember to shake my hand. Your hand is dwarfed in mine, my strong fingers encircling you, and a thought flashes unbidden through your mind - what would those fingers feel like inside you? - but, come on now, that's really not appropriate...
"I have a few students with me, as you can see. Is that alright?"
"Well, yes, of course!" Why shouldn't it be?
"Excellent. Now, I'm pioneering this new full-body examination method - it's really quite extraordinary, the maladies I can detect this way - but be warned, it is, shall we say, unorthodox. Is that alright?"
Just for a moment, you see something in my eyes, something behind the genial smile and gentle, reassuring tone. Just for a moment, you feel like some specimen, some piece of meat, pinned down under the lights with nowhere to go... but just for a moment. Surely, nothing bad can happen, and I'm a doctor, aren't I? You can trust me. So you swallow your fear, and you acquiesce.
"Excellent! Let's have a seat on the table, if you don't mind, and we'll make a start. Nurse V, if you would..."
As you sit on the table, the clinical, sterile seating a little cold against your skin, the pretty nurse steps behind the table, facing you, waiting for something. From your right, I approach, and you feel again just how much larger than you I am as my broad shoulders block out one of the ceiling lights. With all these people watching you, it takes all you have not to squeeze your legs together, just a little bit.
We begin with a quick examination of your face - "you have beautiful eyes, you know," I purr into one ear. I place one hand on the side of your neck and tilt your head; god, you've been reading too much, haven't you, the way you want these strong, expert fingers to close around your throat.
"Now, open your mouth for me, please." You oblige, and I cup your chin and slide my thumb into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. Your eyebrows jump in surprise, and you look at me questioningly.
I smile again, still inside you. "Unorthodox, remember? Now, close your mouth and try to swallow." From behind, the nurse strokes your cheek with the back of one hand, and you feel a sudden ache between your legs. You close your lips around my thumb and swallow. It tastes... clean, mostly, as one might expect from a doctor, but you can taste the sweat underneath.
"Very good, one more time for me."
You swallow again, and you feel me slide my thumb over the surface of your tongue, pressing down, swirling in circles.
"And, one more time... yes, that's it, good job, very good job."
The praise for this degrading task is more than you can bear, and you squeeze your thighs together. Fuck, it's humiliating, everyone just saw you do that... All these eyes on you, the beautiful nurse behind you, this big, strong doctor with these big, strong hands and that big fucking bulge... but no, this is just a checkup, nothing is going to happen, right?
While you were thinking, I dried my hand off and had begun speaking.
"I'm - I'm sorry?"
"No worries. I was saying, can you remove your top, please? We need to examine your heart and your breathing."
You stare at me. "Remove my - "
"Yes, remove your top. The fewer barriers between me and you, the less interference with my examination." My face is quite serious, almost bored - this really must be routine. You look back at the nurse, and she smiles slightly and nods. So you undress, your nipples betraying you, standing at attention. You blush as the crowd of students looks at you intently. The nurse lays one warm hand on your shoulder, slender fingers gripping you reassuringly, and your eyes are drawn once more to those burgundy nails.
I step in close, and you feel my breath warm on your chest. "Now, observe the stiffness in the patient's nipples - this is to be expected, given the cool air, and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of," I say, smiling. I press my stethoscope up over your heart, the metal cold on your skin, and your mind is betrayed by the pounding of your heart. My eyes flick up to meet yours, and I grin, predatorily, and once again you feel like a piece of meat beneath the lights.
I examine your breasts, starting with your left. Enclosed in my big, strong hands, I squeeze and push, prod and pull, ostensibly feeling for any abnormalities, but the way my fingers brush over your nipples, the intensity with which I sink them into your soft breasts, heaving now as your breath comes faster... My practiced tongue rasps over one nipple and a tiny moan escapes your lips as you try desperately to hide how much you're enjoying this; try desperately, and fail.
Abruptly, I pull back. "Excellent! All seems well here." I rest one hand on your other shoulder and turn to the students. "Note the pleasure response during this section of the examination, and I hope you were paying attention to the oral technique."
I turn back to you, my eyes dancing as they meet yours. "Fully undress, if you would. The inspection must continue."
Your hands tremble as you slide your clothes down off your waist, and the nurse aids you, her lovely hands stroking along your thighs and calves as she does.
"And spread for us, please."
Obediently, your thighs open, exposing your cunt, your needy, aching wetness, to all.
"Note the beauty of the patient's sex, here. The shape of the folds," I murmur, tracing one finger along your sensitive lips, "the balanced ratio of the clitoris to the vulva overall," sliding two fingers on either side of your clit, squeezing gently between them, "the appropriate pleasure response in - "
You lose what I say as I plunge two fingers inside you, powerful and dextrous, knuckles slipping past your tightness easily. It feels so fucking good to finally have something inside you, after all this aching and teasing, and god, so many people are watching, they're all watching your pussy spread and toyed with by this big, strong, handsome older man, and now the nurse's slender fingers are across your throat and her lips are on your forehead, and she tells you that you're doing so well for me, you've been so good...
My fingers press up inside you, finding your g spot, and with my thumb rubbing on your clit, I start melting you. Waves of pleasure course through your body, you gasp, moan, whimper, and with your eyes closed you can't tell whose lips are so soft on yours, but it feels so fucking good, and all those people are watching and it makes you want it more, your back arching, chest heaving, melting under the attention, and finally, mercifully, you cum, contracting around my fingers, squeezing your thighs together, trembling, shaking, gasping for air. You hear me say something, but you're so overwhelmed with pleasure that all you can make out from my speech is "very, very good".
The hand withdraws from your throat, and I gently, gently, extricate my fingers, and settle my hand atop one thigh, fingers slick with your desire.
The nurse whispers affirmation in your ear as I address the class. "Stimulation in this manner, of the two most sensitive sex stimuli, brings the most consistent and powerful orgasms to those possessing these organs." I stroke the inside of your thigh reassuringly, before turning to you.
"The final part of this examination is seeing how well you handle penetration. I'm going to need your unequivocal verbal consent before proceeding."
The nurse leans in and whispers into your ear, "might I suggest 'please, sir, will you fuck me?'" You'd blush harder if you could.
You swallow, nervously, and there's a twisting in your gut as you say it. "Please," you begin, voice cracking. "Please, sir, will you fuck me?"
"Yes, that is sufficient. I must say, though," I warn, unzipping my jeans, "that I am quite large." I slap my cock down on your tummy, and the sheer weight of it shocks you. You've seen size like this in porn, sure, but fuck, you've never touched something like this. When you tear your gaze away from my cock, I'm grinning down at you, predatory again. "You can back out at any time, you know." My voice is low, teasing, challenging. "Should we continue?"
You nod shakily, and spread your legs a little wider.
One hand on your raised knee, one hand guiding my cock, I push against you. For a moment you realize the exam had to be done in this order; if you weren't so fucking wet, there's no chance you'd be able to take me. But all thoughts are blasted out of your mind as I push harder and slide in.
It's so fucking thick that you can't help but groan. You've never felt so full, so strained inside, being pushed in every direction; you're not built for this, maybe there's just too much, your body is rejecting me - and then I push again, another few inches, and you slam your head back against the padded table, a long, drawn-out "fuuuuuck" wrenched from your lips. You feel my strong hands brace at your hips, and with a final thrust, slamming your cervix up into your guts, moving your entire body, the ridges of my cock sliding deeper and deeper, sliding painfully, pleasurably past your walls, I'm inside you.
The nurse rests her hands on you again, and purrs in your ear, "you're doing so well for him, I know it's hard, it's so hard, but you're doing such a good job, pretty girl..."
Glacially, I pull out, allowing you a moment to rest, before thrusting in again, hands still at your waist. You sob once, loudly, and then you sink into it as I pick up a rhythm, deep, deep strokes inside you. You hear me grunting, whispering something, and I grow more frantic, impaling you a little harder, and through the wall of pleasure you hear me rumble, "nurse V, begin the overstimulation procedure."
"Certainly, doctor." She leans over you, lips fiercely meeting yours, and one of those slender hands reaches down to abuse your clit. An image of those burgundy nails on your cunt flashes through your mind as I continue pounding you, forcing you to spread for me, adjust to me, even as the nurse plays your clit like an instrument, and fuck, she's a virtuoso.
You sing a song of moans and voiceless curses under our combined mastery, knowing your audience is entranced, filled with a blazing, lusty pride. The deep bass of my voice, resonant in your skull, is saying something, but you cannot hear me; you're moaning, groaning, pleading, "yes, yes, oh my god yes" over and over...
The song swells to a crescendo and with two sudden strikes, two powerful thrusts into you, it ends with a thick, hot, sticky white wave of my approval inside you. You feel it pulse deep, deep inside, filling you, load after load delivered straight past your bruised, abused cervix.
You come back to reality with my cum spilling from between your legs, trailing thickly down onto the exam table. I zip up my jeans while the nurse helps dry you off, from all the sweat and saliva. She dabs caringly at your mouth, and you notice that the cloth is dyed the same shade as her lipstick.
"Now," I address the class, "I hope you were paying attention." I rest one hand on your aching, trembling thigh. How many times did you cum with me inside you? How long were all these people watching you writhe beneath me, begging, losing yourself in the pleasure? You have no fucking clue. "This patient has bravely volunteered for each of you to examine her, here and now, while she's available to us."
Your jaw drops. When did you agree to that? You would never - but you were begging, "yes, yes, yes" earlier, weren't you, while I was talking. You agreed. Everyone heard you say it.
"One at a time, please. And," I say to you, grinning wolfishly, "don't worry. I'll be watching the entire time."
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