#why is this man do FOINE

[sk3tch404]

Yandere Shiva General Hcs (Record of Ragnarok)

A/n: Normal schnormal human reader. Shiva is a meanie but is very affectionate. I also have only watched the anime, so I'm only making bout 6-??? Assumptions and making the gods win bc eh plot reasons. Also platonic relationship with his wives ✌ 257 words I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS GOODBYE. Failing as a writer 💀

CW: Half-proof read (Yeah yoikes but this gets real long after rereading it a thousand times over) Kidnapping, forced affection, forced marriage, isolation, neglect, and Shiva being an arse-hole but a lover boy 🤦 (??? Weirdly enough)

I also just learned that the reason why Shivas first wife isn't known is bc Paravati is the reincarnation of Sati (Shivas first wife) after she died. So technically only 3 living wives in total. (Plz correct or educate me on Hinduism if you can!)

The more you know 💁🏻

Why he truly added you to his column of lovers is a question you may never have answered.

By the naked gods eye, you were nothing special really. Just another dead human in the heavens who is also spectating the final battles.

The afterlife isn't so bad once you've been in it for enough. Valhalla can be peaceful and honestly perfect at times when gods aren't feuding.

Once you heard the gods were holding an important final battle that would determine mankind's fate, it shocked you. Would that also determine human souls in Valhalla? What if the humans were to win? (As blasphemous as that sounded)

The ideal afterlife was supposed to be free of stress, anxiety, pain, emotional distress, and so on, but no. Of course it would never be like that. That's only wishful human thinking.

If there were no potential penalty for badmouthing high status idles, you'd say that the gods were worse than humans when it comes to ego.

Now, Shiva doesn't believe in love at first sight. The stories involving all four his wives have been a adventurous and treaded journey. He does not fall so quickly for such average beings.

But he's seen you before in the arena. Beyond the sea of humans, you stand with only yourself. You chose your seat in a secluded area and paid full attention.

As much as you seemed to isolate yourself from other souls, your eyes burn a similar passion for chaos and a strange fascination for the situation.

It caught him off guard for a second. Strange isn't it? Unlike all of these other ignorant ruffians, you enjoy a good lesson. You're not here just for the fighting and trembling anticipation that comes with the final results. You wanna observe things in educated fashion.

It's cute in a way. A lowly human soul so fixated on the final battle. If you get lucky, (his definition of lucky) he might recognize recognize you later.

Low and behold, he did. Your presence so quiet, yet so mesmerizing. Not interested in anything other than yourself and these sequence of events... How could you not be as entranced by him as he passes by? Yes a sparing surprised glance is earned, but you continue your path. How could he make you turn his way as he does for you?

Shiva will not take you so quickly. He does have a place in the arena, so he can't risk the chance of you not being in his 24/7 supervision for the first week or so. (Plus the soul threatening fight too but yk)

Though he will approach you! Somewhat teasing you in a way. Your fearful face and neck craned upwards while he is hovering over you excites Shiva. A burning dwells in his core, and you make him shiver.

It's only small talk and "hinting" at certain things to come, but it's not too forward.

"Hey, it's you! The lonely human! Yeah I know you. I could feel your eyes from across the arena y'know. For a weak soul, you really like this sort of thing huh?"

During his fight, not only did Rudra and the many people cheering for him motivate him to win, but also did your presence! The crowd is a blurry swarm of colors and movements alike, but he could practically feel your eyes on him.

He knew you couldn't stay away for long. I mean, how could you? Shiva is just perfect for you, and you've basically said you wanted to marry him based on your reaction to his fight.

While he takes his time healing his arms and various wounds, he keeps up with the battle scores and your whereabouts.

He's the god of destruction, and is very resourceful when he needs to be. His free time is filled with researching you on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and sometimes Saturday when his wives are busy.

By the time the gods win, Shiva has healed up pretty good thanks with the help of medical attention and the abilities of his wives.

He talks about you to his wives pretty often, and they don't mind. As long as it's what Shiva wants, then it's okay with them! Three of them has been okay so far, what's one more? The more to love right?

You're shocked with the results of the final battle. Of course this was the obvious end, but it was nice to have hope for humanity for once. People came together regardless of religion, and now all of living human kind is being erased

It seems the gods didn't care about human souls the had pre-existed in Valhalla, so you were safe for now.

Or so you thought.

You sat in your humble home, taking in the day you just had. The next thing you know, you're being forcefully taken out by a strong force.

Shiva tries to go easy on you, but you're just so damn cute, it kills him! He's super energetic and doting.

"Oh Y/n, you're so adorable. Ack, hey! Fightin now huh? I thought you saw my bout. What are you being stupid for?"

Marries you immediately. Only gives you the most enchanting and personal experience a soul could ask for.

The honeymoon is one like you've never experienced. Shiva has married four times. He knows how these things work. (Take that as you will, I don't write nsfw lmfaooo)

Shiva is painfully aware of how weak humans are compared to the average god, so he tries to not smother you too much. (AKA not smooching you once or twice every minute or so)

He really finds humans interesting, so he pokes and prods about in your personal space all the time. Privacy? Bodily autonomy? What's that?

Let's you roam free in his quarters but only let's you speak to his family and trusted ones. Rudra also finds this interesting. Shiva has fallen for a human soul? Now that's crazy talk!

Shiva would never want you to feel inferior to his wives just because they're powerful gods and you're not. You're his human. There's no one else who deserves you more than him!

But seriously, he loves learning about the ways of humans. The couple of humans who had attempted the final battle were spectacular and fought pretty damn hard, so he often wonders what others do.

"C'mon I know you're not that tired yet. The humans I've met have taken this kind of thing well before... What? Seriously can't keep up? *Sigh* Fine, get over here."

Things like modern technology isn't uncommon in Valhalla, so he'd most definitely want to know about your online life too.

Shiva is more of an active guy, so he isn't on his phone a lot. That doesn't mean he isn't inexperienced though.

He is also big on affectionate touch. Everywhere you go, he's holding some part of you. One arm around your waist and another on the top of your head.

Will MANHANDLE YOU like no tomorrow. Wherever he turns, you turn. Even when you're in the middle of reading something, or working on an arts and crafts project, he does not care. When he needs you, he will have you.

You're in front of something he needs to get to? Legit picks you up and places you aside. One the most embarrassing things to ever happen with him. You especially hate it when it's in front of his wives. They playfully laugh, giggle, and tease you for being so, as they say, cute.

They adore you. You're like another sibling to them. They also dote on you and have you help around a lot as it substitutes as hang outs.

They fight over you. A lot.

Durga is the one who takes you out a lot for physical activities. She is very ambitious and encouraging.

"Yeah, You finally got it Y/n! Whoo, you're badass compared to me."

Butters you up way too much despite the bold faced truth.

Unfortunately is the one who enforces Shiva's rules for you the hardest.

Kali is so charismatic and can be the most fun if you're rebellious. Despite her soft appearance, she is CHAOTIC. Although she stays loyal to Shiva, she doesn't mind breaking a few small rules here and there to have some fun.

She's the one who gets you in the most danger and trouble.

Shiva is VERY strict with you despite all of the freedoms he's allowed you. You're human, fragile mentally and physically. So when you are caught with Kali, he can't help but lecture the both of you.

Kali has been with him for a long time, so she takes the blame for herself. She knows she can persuade him if she tries hard enough.

Partavi is so kind and gentle. You two usually spend time inside and just casually hanging out. Cooking, learning about Hinduism, house keeping, keeping your mental and spiritual state in check, and all sorts of calming things.

Kali and Durga literally ought to tear each other apart when fighting for You attention. Partavi has to keep them in check so Shiva doesn't have to step in himself.

Complying with this new afterlife will grant you a very happy eternity and a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome.

You're surrounded by riches and loving powerful gods who want nothing more than to see you joyful. Who wouldn't want that?

Well, not you... You've lived your life! Yeah it may have been cut off short by quite a bit, but all you want to do is to finally be at peace. That shit was way more than enough. You really did not need any more issues.

Being strangely unaffected by the wipe out of Earth's humanity was just the height of it, but being kidnapped by one of the succeeding gods of the final battle was plain horrifying.

Refusing Shiva's wives affections isn't too bad in itself, but moving away from him is unacceptable.

Keeping to yourself in their shared room, not speaking to any one of them, refusing to accept their gifts and invitations, not looking after your health, pushing Shiva away when he tries to get close, and worst of all, saying you wish to not be with him.

Shiva is an emotionally driven guy, so you disobeying only displeased him further. Punishment is in order no?

Shiva won't beat you into submission, but he will intimidate and deprive you. Since you want to be so ungrateful, then maybe you should be on your own for a while huh?

You're literally thrown into a cold room with no windows and are left there for who knows how long. No one to check on you. Nothing to hinder your obvious chosen solitude. No food. No water. No one to pity you. Just the thought of sun rising and setting outside of your silent enclosure.

You hate it. You thought being alone was in every way better than being with them, but you realize that you don't like being lonely.

You despise the churning acidic bubbling in your stomach. The way your chapped lips stick together. No matter the silks and fabrics in the room, you never feel quite warm enough yet.

By the time they finally open the door, letting light pour into your room once more, you're running into whoever's arms is there.

You want- no, you need to feel something. To know that you're free of that confinement. To be free of your one and only being. Shiva's familiar warm blood pulsing through his body confirmed it.

Shiva of course, is pleased by this development. Humans will fight like hell, but will succumb one way or another.

"You miss me that much Y/n? Finally learned your lesson? Hehaha, I knew you could do it."

But if you had tried to escape? Oh hoho you are in for one big ride.

Shiva is infuriated. His rage is unlike any other. When he is hit with a hard pang of anger, all sense disappear and the only thing he can think about is how terrible the heat of emotions feel.

He is only ever at your side, so you being able to slip away can be so very rare. You won't be roaming outside his territory for very long as it would only last a couple of moments.

Was the sunlight hitting your form willing for once worth it? Was the rushing adrenaline of possibly achieving personal autonomy again worth it? The gleeful smile and feeling of heavy panting as you ran out gave you a sick, twisted feeling pleasure.

As Shiva topples you to the ground, his weight and arms hit you like a truck. If you were still alive, you'd say your soul was knocked out of you.

Too infuriated to even speak of his disappointments, he dislocates your shoulder. Your scream of agony echos throughout the secluded area, but it doesn't reach anyone.

You're taken back in for a full nights punishment. What made you think you'd be able to outrun Shiva? A final battle champion. The god of destruction. One who destroys, creates and rebuilds the world anew again.

The most damage you'll receive is some fractured bones, but nothing too bad. None of your skeletal structure is sticking out, but you can sure as hell feel the shattering.

You are of course treated. Shiva feels little sympathy for your injuries, but he does pity that sad pout you adorn in your medical clothing.

"Sorry Y/n. I was only trying to protect you, but it seemed like you couldn't understand that. I still love you so very much, so please forgive me."

This guy is the ultimate love bomber smh

Paravati, Kali and Durga don't like when you get so harshly punished like that, but they know it's what must be done.

If you ever actually get out for longer than expected, (which is mighty fucking impressive) those three will be on the hunt for you with no stop until you are found again.

And even if you had somehow gotten away, where would you go in Valhalla? God, you can't go to Zeus for help. He would laugh in your face and hand you off to Shiva like every other "lost belonging". Any other god would do the same.

Maybe Buddha could help? Then again, just because he fought for humanity doesn't mean he's your friend. Especially because it would be him against another god.

You can't return to your old home. It's where they had taken you from in the first place.

Other godly territory can be scary. Many myths and legends you might not know of, lowly salty gods may attack you, the social separation between humans and gods, and not to mention the people who inhabit the land there themselves.

Shiva would probably put a missing souls report out there for bounty if he had gotten desperate anyway.

So perhaps it's best to just, leave things as they are. Just to avoid trouble you know? Yeah, trouble.

[nellielsss]

Bleach Men I'd do Until Sunrise

Since my summer classes are over, I can FINALLY go back to thinking about more important things, like all the bleach men I want in me. Here's the full list and reasons why 😘 Bleach is also the only Big 3 anime with consistently fine men, and that's a HUGEEE bonus for me

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

A man with muscles is always gonna do it for me every time. Kubo but his entire pussy into his design of Grimmjow like his appearance>>> the hollow mask, the blue hair, the natural eyeliner, so what if he has a hole in his abs?! I'm still putting it down on him 😻 also LOOK AT THAT FERAL SMILE OF HIS oh I know he's a FREAKKKK in bed (he and my self-insert are also married and have an arrancar-soul reaper kid)

2. Kensei Muguruma

I have a problem when it comes to ISTP men who are stoic but also easy to fluster... it may be the ENTJ in me but I'll always love me an ESTP/ISTP man, the brute + confident and strong diva duo will always do it for me every single time without failure, also, again, MUSCLESSS!! I need to be taken to paris by him and Grimmy

3. Cang Du

The man himself who inspired Toji... even though his body's not as built as Toji's, he's still so fine! He's also one of the only non-female Quincies I like (the other one being Äs Nödt but I like him for his creepy he is) anyways he also has some muscle on him + he's not as loud and cocky as the other quincies (yes, I know Grimmjow doesn't shut up, but he's mega foine so he gets a pass)

4. Shūhei Hisagi

Again w the dark-haired muscular men!! Unlike the others, who are mainly known for being tsundere/stoic men, Hisagi has sm cute little moments in the show, like all his moments with Rangiku are so adorable like I'd love flustering this man to death!! (Kubo needs to give him more battles that he wins bc why he he constantly losing every single one 💀)

5. Kaien Shiba

Yet another dark-haired man! Who would've guessed?! anyway, I looooveee his little mentor moments with Rukia, but the little amount of screentime he got in the series was so annoying, especially given how handsomeee this man is with his lil mullet like please return in a flashback idk

6. Ichigo Kurosaki

Ofc, the protagonist of the series gets to be on this list... I didn't find him THAT cute early on in the series, but now that he's drawn better and has more muscle (I'm a fiend for muscles), he's wayyy hotter, also his little mullet moments were soooo UGH please Orihime Inoue my queen make him bring back the mullet, plus his drip/casual outfits are UNMATCHEDD ABSOLUTELY UNMATCHED

Anyway that's all! At least until I watch more episodes...

[jjenthusee]

Racing Hearts Pt. 3

f1!driver!jason x reporter!reader

A/N: Another chapter, another story filled with jason todd 🤭 it makes me so happy to continue this au and to see my beautiful gremlins enjoying it as well 🥹 the comments for the tag list are so helpful (im new to that bear with me <3) but i love reading any comments about the story, any predictions your great minds have, or if you’re just looking forward to the next chapter :D so ENJOY and comment if your comfortable <3

See you in part 4 COMING SOON :))) also check out the masterlist for this series linked here <3

Tags: banter, agonizing fluff, hurt/comfort, strangers to friends to lovers, spice if u squint 👀

Word Count: 3.1k

Tag List: @jaybirdstreet @gallusstuff @meowkn @velvetberries @i0lovepink00 @rayaskoalaland @spidernuggets @janybabyy @deimks @yasmin-oviedo @bigraga-sk

yourmom34: Why am I kinda invested?

imjasonsrightleg: Bye, update me when they start dating

potatoislyfe: He has chemistry with EVERYONE

notrealroyharper: THAT SHOULD BE ME

bigbootylicious87: Is it just me or are they entirely different from that press conference???

justicefortacoman: I can’t believe Jason moved on from taco man :(

“I can’t believe this.” You said to yourself, setting down your phone to no longer read the comments.

Leaning forward until your arms rested on your knees as you sat on the couch.

You had completed one full interview with Jason. His management wanted to film it. A new press strategy to help their racers gain more popularity outside the track.

You had agreed.

Broadcast journalism had been an area of interest because of the age of the internet and how fast news can spread through social media.

Now they wanted you and Jason to interact.

Jason’s social media team had pitched that you two sit down, you ask him questions and Jason would be the charismatic man he was.

It was simple, something you had done with many athletes, but it was Jason. A man you had multiple meals with, volunteered with, and almost…nevermind.

You thought you masked it well, set personal away from professionalism, but you were clearly wrong from the comments on the video.

You had watched it on your phone, curiosity scratching at you when you cooked lunch. Then when you couldn’t take it, you pressed the play button.

You were in denial. Ever since you came back from your volunteer work on Jason’s motorcycle, you had tried to play everything off with as much nonchalance as possible.

You didn’t mention how close your faces were that day. He dropped you off after the work in Crime Alley. You waved goodnight.

You didn’t see him until you got the call from your company. The interview filmed, quickly edited, released and you continued to deny.

But how were you supposed to deny what you saw on the tiny phone screen. It was out in the open, the public knew, you knew.

Did Jason know?

Did he see what you denied to yourself?

Or maybe he was just too good at looking good with anyone?

His fan base even made a running joke to pretend he has chemistry with anyone he interacts with in public.

You were just the next contestant.

That had to be it.

jasonjustonechance51: Was Jason kinda…shy?

redhoodsgyatt: I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT FOINE MAN LAUGH LIKE THAT IM IN LOVE?

tortillagrease861: I don’t know who this beautiful man is but I need him.

redbulljasonismywater69: I was trying to gatekeep him, but I guess I can share cause everyone deserves to see this man smile

poopoobatman417: He is so boyfriend

You threw your phone back onto the couch cushion, reading anymore comments was not helping.

After calming down and a movie break, you checked Jason’s social media and Red Bull’s racing account. There were the usual clips, Roy and Jason being the most popular duo.

Multiple edits and clips of them doing miscellaneous things. It wasn’t that bad, maybe you weren’t his focus right now.

But you were conflicted, it was good if the video of the two of you went well. It was better than being popular from negativity.

You could live with this.

A notification popped up on the top of your screen, perfect font displaying “Mr. Todd has sent a message.”

Speak of the devil.

Mr. Todd: want anything?

You clicked on an image of a menu.

He always knew how to get you. A late night meal wouldn’t hurt.

You: Miss me already?

You: Combo, medium, sprite

Mr. Todd: kay

Mr. Todd: my place or yours

Oh no.

You had just come to terms with thinking you meant nothing to this man.

You watched three dots float at the bottom of the messages, anticipation eating at you.

Mr. Todd: couldn’t get enough of you after the interview

You needed to check yourself into the hospital at this rate.

Fuck read receipts, now you needed to respond.

You: bro I don’t know where u live

Mr. Todd: bro I can just tell u

You: bro my place

You’re an idiot.

Mr. Todd: Brok

You: brok?

Mr. Todd: bro + ok

You: return my food

Mr. Todd: too late I already left and the kind lady gave me a free drink

You: I hope u drop ur free drink

Mr. Todd: no sprite for u then

You: wait

You: the sprite is innocent

Mr. Todd: this hurts me more than it hurts u

You saw a picture appear in the messages. He was holding the cup of sprite over a familiar ledge. The ledge of your apartment building floor.

You grabbed your keys, pulled on some quick sneakers, haphazardly put on, laces loose. You raced out of your apartment, quickly locking the door and running down the hall.

You ran to see Jason near the open ledge, night air surrounding him. Seeing his face turn to you, a smile spreading on his face.

You ran to save your sprite from his evil hands.

“Aw, so excited to see me that you didn’t put on your shoes properly.” Jason quipped, letting you take the hostage from his hands.

After securing your drink, your turned around. Eyeing Jason from your side.

He waited, a soft look on his face.

“Well, are you coming?” You walked forward, small smile perfectly hidden from Jason’s view.

——

You had sat down in front of your TV, putting your drink on the coffee table. You grabbed the remote trying to browse through several movies.

Jason had followed you in through the front door, taking off his shoes as soon was he walked in. He slowly walked toward you, taking a good look around your apartment.

You tried not to look at him, choosing to focus on your TV screen as he surveyed your one-bedroom apartment.

As he slowly stepped, you decided to chance one look at him.

Your eyes shifted toward his tall figure, he was oddly focused on your window, set near the small dining table.

It was a last-minute decision after you realized the format of your living room and kitchen. You liked watching the outside as you ate.

“Welcome to my home. Sorry for the mess, I didn’t get the chance to clean up after you took my sprite hostage.” You leaned your head on your hand, resting yourself on the coffee table as you watched Jason.

“Don’t worry about it, also you should lock your window.” Jason spoke.

You glanced toward the object in question, the latch was undone when you opened it earlier that day. You must’ve forgotten. It was a similar bad habit as never locking your balcony door.

Who would climb through that? Well, besides Batman, you don’t expect any visitors.

“Oh, sometimes I forget. But let’s eat first.” You shrugged.

Jason set the food down next to you, you felt the warmth radiating from the bag.

“I got it, your food should be the one on top.” Jason eyed the window, walking to it, snapping the lock into place.

You gasped.

“You ordered the other meal I wanted to try!” You smiled in excitement.

Jason turned back to sit down next to you. Lazily leaning against the foot of the couch.

He raised an eyebrow at the sparkle in your eyes, a silent question obvious on your face.

“Wanna try a piece?” Jason asked, giving in to the longing look.

“Aw, thanks Mr. Todd.” You dug into the two meals in front of you.

Jason moved to sit closer to you. Your excitement over the food distracting you, delaying your nervousness and your earlier debate with yourself.

As you took a bite, happy with the combination, you clicked on a movie. Letting it play as you and Jason ate.

“I thought you were kidding when you asked me if I liked the movie Cars.” Jason said in disbelief as he watched.

“It was for the interview…and I was genuinely curious.” You kept your eyes on the screen.

“Sweetheart, I don’t race in NASCAR. You know that.” Jason looked at you, astonished.

“I know, I think it’s hilarious.” You flatly said, focused on the movie in front of you. “You give off Lightning McQueen vibes.”

Jason nearly choked on his food.

“I feel like I should be offended.” Jason, stunned, looked at you.

You ignored him, letting him fret about your words as you finished your meal.

After Jason gave in and continued to watch the movie with you, you had cleaned up and the two of you moved onto the actual couch.

The soft cushions letting you sink in, sinking toward Jason who also dipped the couch. Letting a blanket droop over your legs.

He had taken his hoodie off, throwing it over a dining chair. Jason was clearly comfy for the night, in sweatpants and a t-shirt that hugged him nicely.

You were content letting your body relax. Watching animated cars as Jason, the fastest formula 1 driver, sat near you in your apartment.

With a full stomach and in pajamas.

Crazy how things worked out.

You smiled at your realization.

Your eyes felt heavy, the couch warm next to Jason.

Jason mindlessly watched the movie, pouting a little that he couldn’t believe that you thought of him like the red car.

Then he felt your weight on his shoulder.

He glanced to his side, seeing the top of your head. His heart raced. You had fallen asleep, a nice weight to his shoulder.

He saw your eyelashes, beautifully laid flat onto your cheeks as you gave into your sleepiness.

Call him a bad man, but he leaned his head on top of yours. Nuzzling into you.

You were probably going to wake up flustered, but he enjoyed making you nervous.

Seeing your ears going perfectly red.

Jason didn’t know what color he liked, he ended up with many things, falling into the rhythm of going with the flow. His racing career, his instincts to ask his manager to set up an interview with the talkative reporter, continuing to get lunch with you.

Now he was here, feeding you, sitting on your couch.

Getting more infatuated with the lil’ reporter he’s growing close to.

He learned something new today.

He realized his favorite color was the shade of your flustered ears.

——

You were stirring awake, your eyes slowly blinking into the faint light from the floor lamp. Majority of the darkness still around you.

You must have fallen asleep.

But how could you resist? It was warm around you.

As your consciousness entered your mind, you realized a weight around you. Fitted loosely around your waist, a soft fabric touching your face, slow even breaths slightly moving the hairs on your head.

Your eyes widened.

Jason was curled around you. At some point in between your nap, you and Jason had laid on the couch. Fully extending your bodies, falling into each other to fit perfectly into the soft cushions.

Oh no. You stiffened.

Jason started to stir awake, instinctually feeling the heightened panic from you next to him.

He slightly stretched his body, taking a deep inhale before releasing it, then slowly opening his eyes to look down at you. Your big eyes meeting his.

He sleepily smiled, pulling his arm around you closer to him. Somehow managing to get you even closer to him.

You felt his heartbeat through his shirt.

A lovely feeling.

“Jason.” You spoke into his t-shirt.

“Hm?” Jason grumbled, trying to wake up, but refusing.

“I think you accidentally fell asleep.” You moved your head, so your words weren’t mumbled into his body.

“I was going to leave.” Jason yawned. “You fell asleep and I laid you down on the couch, but you grabbed my shirt.” He smirked, eyes closed.

You moved your head, raising your chin toward Jason’s head above yours.

Your faces more parallel.

“What do you mean?” You quietly asked him, clearly surprised by the current situation, but still mindful of the sleepy man.

“You wouldn’t let go of me, so I tried sitting on the edge of the couch, but your grip never loosened. Then you kept tugging, so I finally laid down.” Jason continued to explain with his eyes closed, trying to keep his fatigue. “You have a deadly drip by the way.”

“I’m sorry.” You sighed.

“Why do you always do that?” He asked confused.

“Do what?”

“You always back away every time I get closer.” Jason’s eyebrows lowered, slight frustration in his tone. He was very expressive despite his eyes still closed.

“I don’t do that.”

“You were about to.” Jason pouted.

“I’m still laying next to you, I’m not backing away.” You retorted.

“You know that’s not what I meant. I can feel your negativity surrounding you.”

“Come on…I just,” You hesitated. “I just don’t want to bother you, to possibly cause a misunderstanding.”

Jason’s eyes opened, full seriousness in his gaze.

“What if I want you to bother me.” He directly told you, eyes never leaving yours.

Your faces nearly touching, the tips of your ears reddening. Curse your blood flow.

“I don’t understand.” You stammered, scared to peak into the direction this was going.

“I want to bother your life and I want you to bother mine. You make me feel alive because I want to talk to you, even when you don’t want to talk, I still want your time.” Jason directly told you.

You didn’t know what to say. Your heart racing as he continued to hold you, your faces close to one another, legs intertwined. His voice admitting what you’ve been scared to say.

It was out in the open. Clear as day.

Maybe it was meant to be this simple.

You were just too anxious and stubborn to call it what it was.

You kept Jason’s stare, his determination never faltering.

You pulled your hand from in between your bodies, releasing it from the depths of the blanket. You caressed his face, smoothing out the lines in between his eyebrows, softening his expression.

You smiled at your ability to control this man.

Maybe to the public he was rowdy, uncontrollable. But when you faced him, he was ready to come running when you held out a hand, waiting to rest his face in it.

He waited for your touch, your words, your quick glances.

You were the same. Ready to touch him, sing his name, memorize his smile.

You could barely contain yourself.

You leaned forward, kissing the man you longed for.

Your very first initiation towards him. No longer backing away.

You gently pressed into him. Both of your eyes closed, focusing on blurred touches of skin.

You want to touch him. You want more.

You rubbed where the back of his head met his neck, feeling the prick of his hair on your fingers. Your thumb rubbing behind his ear.

Jason matched you, letting feeling take over him.

He gripped your jaw, stretching your neck, adding another layer of desperation to your kiss.

Jason selfishly took your shared breaths.

When he wasn’t satisfied with that he moved to lean himself over you, but you put a hand to his chest.

Stopping him.

In his confusion, eyes glossed over, he only looked at you, his mind trying to catch up.

You ended up rolling him over, your body laid on top of his, Jason laid flat on his back. He reached up to cup his hands to your face.

You leaned down, deepening the kiss.

You had no reason to hold back. If it was this simple to be with Jason, you wanted to waste no more time on what ifs.

You were comfortable, letting your body fall onto Jason’s solid body. You wanted to feel more of him.

You readjusted yourself, straddling his waist near the waist band of his sweatpants. Jason panting, his breaths haggard.

You sat up fully, taking in the full image of him. It was beautiful.

“You’re gorgeous.” Jason breathed, in awe.

He gripped the sides of your waist, rubbing through your shirt.

Despite never removing any clothes, you were just as worked up.

You panted.

You internally thanked your unconscious self for keeping a death grip on this man.

You leaned down, nipping at Jason’s neck.

A sweet melody filled with Jason’s voice gasping. You felt every breath and vibration as you focused on his neck.

Letting yourself mark him just above his collarbone.

You looked down, hazily rating your work.

Jason reached up and rubbed your cheek. His soft touch contrasting your desperation.

The rising sun, letting in a soft glow through the large window near your dining table.

What a great way to start your morning.

You didn’t wake up this early, but to do this with Jason, you might have to start changing your routine.

Jason laid you back down to lean on top of him, He breathed into your neck as he held you close to him.

His large hands holding the back of your head, rubbing small circles.

“I told you I’m not backing away.” You smiled into Jason’s hair.

“I believe you now.” Jason chuckled, content in the comforting weight of you.

——

After another quick nap, you and Jason woke up, both of your hairs in a mess.

You were groggy, trying to help yourself to a cup of anything this morning, tea or coffee.

You watched Jason from your kitchen counter, he was learning where everything was. Memorizing the cabinets and drawers.

His broad back, a great view in your kitchen.

Your poor dining table window falling to second place.

You were in a daze watching his shoulders flex through the fabric of his shirt. It was like a switch flipped in you.

You shook your head, focusing back on the contents of your cup.

Jason made a cup of coffee, finally facing you. Leaning on the opposite counter.

Your eyes lowered to his stretched-out t-shirt around his neck.

You found what you were looking for, a purple blemish on his collarbone.

What a great morning.

Jason caught wind of your stare. Setting his cup down, caving you in-between his arms as he leaned on your counter.

It’s like you were made to be in his arms.

You giggled, trying to continue sipping on your cup. Letting Jason kiss around any opening of your face that wasn’t on the cup.

He was enjoying the moment, taking his time until you wanted to let him break.

When you had enough of the tickling sensation, you lifted your chin, letting Jason fully take your mouth.

The taste of coffee flooding you.

After your morning shenanigans in the kitchen, you spent the rest of the morning lounging, stealing kisses, possibly adding another blemish to match the other one.

[itskybabes-blog]

Duke Dennis Drabble

Duke Dennis x fem!reader (no face claim but poc!reader friendly)

Part one: Unrequited Love Disclaimer: this is written by a dyslexic person – please forgive any grammar and spelling errors

TW: swearing, themes of drinking, sexual harassment and comparing body types

Plot: You and Duke have been friends for years, but you have had a crush on him for a while. At an AMP pool party, you reach breaking point.

Word count: 965

The wet, glistening caramel-toned skin of scantily clad women sparkle in the sun as they dance evocatively around the pool. You feel a bit out of place because – although, being a vision of beauty – you know his type is IG baddies and BBL bandits. Your naturally droopy E-cup tits and grabable ass might not be his cup of tea, but then why do you care? 

You and Duke have been friends for a couple of years now. You were a journalist and sometimes you get the perk of the odd brand trip. While atop of a snowy ski slope in Switzerland, the two of you hit it off and your friendship made it out of the group chat. 

Since then, he’d invite you around to do cool stuff together – just as friends. You’ve been a frequent visitor at the AMP house and have become good friends with the guys, particularly Agent, Kai and Fanum. Duke’s whole fandom even knows you’re one of his best friends and always ask when you’d pop up next in one of his streams. 

So, it wasn’t strange for you to be there, standing by the bar downing shots of Casamigos with the AMP lot at their latest pool party. You wipe the spilt liquor on your chin with the sleeve of your shrug and fix the matching leopard print bikini you wore. Don’t lie to yourself: these girls couldn’t hold a candle to you. But, watching Duke lean back and let one of those IG models slam their round bumper on his crotch made you feel a way.

About two years into your friendship, his dazzling smile and Southern charm started to melt your heart. When you looked into his chocolate-coloured eyes, you felt a flutter in your stomach that you never had before. You’ve been meaning to tell him but, come on, you look so good – surely he’d just take a hint. 

Well, there’s nothing alcohol and good music can’t help. The anxiety of wondering whether Duke got your signals or not vanishes while you throw it back to some Sexyy Red. You be sure to scream the chorus to ‘Looking For The Hoes’ and act out with all you two’s mutuals. Even one lucky fella gets a whine from you when the dancehall music comes on. 

While Duke was having his own star moment on the other side of the pool, you did too where you were. By the end of the night, you were both going to be the talk of the party. 

However, your time takes a turn for the worst when you glance over at the foine dark-skinned man shoving his tongue down the throat of some big-booty hussie. You sulk, dropping your head down to look at your pretty blue-tip toes. 

“Hey, gang!” Kai says, tapping you on the arm. “Yo, why you mad sour right now?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you lied.

“Well, come take this shot then!” he rebutted, handing you your 15th shot of the night. 

You’ve never been a lightweight but no one can survive this level of alcohol. Your quest to drown your feelings has gone too far and people are starting to notice due to the way your eyes glaze over and your lack of spatial awareness. 

You throw your ass around the slippery poolside, worrying all of your friends who think you’re doing way too much. Even at one point, your nipple slipped out and you didn’t even know until Zoe rushed over and fixed it for you. 

Agent runs over and tells Duke about your condition while he has the same broad on his lap. “Man, she’s a grown-ass woman. She don’t need no babysitter!” Duke exclaims back. 

“Please, dude, look,” Agent points over at you, stumbling aimlessly around the pool with a goofy smile on your face. He also sees a weirdo lurking behind you. The same man she danced with before (who was a random guest at the house) comes behind you and grabs your hips, trying to force you to dance on him again. You weakly push him away as who the fuck grinds to Chief Keef, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He tightens his grip on your waist and swiftly closes the gap between you. You drop your glass and it shatters, making a loud crashing sound, but the party still goes on as normal. 

The swift commotion causes Duke to quickly (after excusing himself from what would have been his flavour of the day) come to your defence and shove the man off of you. 

“What the fuck are you doing, bro? She don’t want your ugly-ass,” Duke boomed and squared up to the man. He got a few looks, but still, most partygoers went on like nothing was happening. 

“What’s your problem? She’s fair game,” the man said eerily, “I don’t see no ring on her finger and, earlier, she was all over me. She wants this.”

Clearly paralytic, you clung onto Duke’s side for stability. You look up at him with a look he knew all too well. 

Agent finally returns - this time, with security - to where you and Duke were.

“Get the fuck out of here!” Duke barked at the guy, pushing him towards the big burly men who scooped the creep up.

“No, you don’t understand,” he tried to argue while being dragged away. “She wants me! She wants me so bad.”

Duke ripped you off his side and threw you over his shoulder. 

“What the fuck? Put me- put me dooowwwnnn,” you hiccuped, trying to fight the bile rising up your throat. 

You have to wait a couple minutes for him to grand your request. Duke plops you on a bed - his bed - and stares at you in utter disbelief.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

A/N: Got writer's block with the Danny story, so I thought to start a cute lil' Duke drabble. All comments and advice are encouraged!

[gothamite-rambler]

Aww, they're a match made in insanity - JayRose

In a dimly lit alley after a tense battle, both Rose and Jason were feeling sore. They stood close together, the air thick with unspoken emotions. Suddenly, Rose surprised him with an unexpected kiss.

Rose: Mm, nice. I've wanted to do that for a while.

Jason (stammering): Whoa, that just happened.

As Rose kissed him again, warmth radiated through him, their lips moving in perfect harmony. Jason placed a hand on Rose's hip, pulling her closer, feeling a brief pressure on his bottom lip. He let out a soft moan, but clarity returned quickly as Rose stepped back, a playful smile on her face.

Jason (covering his mouth): Stop catching me off guard!

He rubbed his forehead, heart racing from the thrill.

Rose (eyes sparkling): I had to get that out of my system. Now I’m ready to go.

Jason: Why are you looking at me like that? You kissed me and then kissed me again… what the hell? I didn’t even know you liked me like that!

She laughed, noticing the flush on his face, and placed her hand gently on his chest.

Rose: I thought I made it obvious. Although I enjoy pretend flirting with people, I've actually wanted to kiss you for a while.

Jason: Okay, okay, cool… I didn’t hate it, but you kind of made some blood leave my brain for a few minutes… and you're really attractive.

Rose (smiling): You are too, especially when you took off your mask. I couldn't help myself.

Trying to regain his composure, Jason glared at her playfully.

Jason: Rose… just five minutes ago, we were dealing with goons and trying to snatch a key. Thanks for not taking it from my pocket again.

Rose (cheeky grin): Lucky you.

Jason: Um, yeah. Gotta focus… After all that, you thought you’d just kiss me? I’m not complaining, but it was unexpected.

Rose (nonchalantly): I noticed you seemed a little on edge. I wanted to help you relax.

Jason (flustered): Well, that definitely worked.

Rose: Think of it as a thank you for stopping a knife from being plunged into my hip. I could’ve died, and then you wouldn’t have received such a pleasant gift.

Jason sighed, but when he looked at Rose, his heart skipped a beat.

Jason: I feel hot. Do you feel hot? Wow, you're just… really fine— I didn’t mean—

Rose (coy smile): Hmm, I’m fine? You might’ve meant ‘foine.’

They both laughed softly, easing Jason's tension. Rose wrapped her arms around his shoulders, their bodies just inches apart.

Jason (softly): Rose?

Rose: Hmm?

Jason: I… like you, and I just—

He leaned in, kissing her deeply. She was surprised at first but soon melted into it.

Jason (embarrassed): I said I liked you. Oh my God.

Rose (sincerely): I like you too. There’s no shame in speaking the truth. Your intelligence captivates me; our conversations are both enlightening and enjoyable. You have a quick wit that draws me in, and the way you carry yourself with such confidence and charm is hard to ignore. Plus, your looks are a bonus.

Jason shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Jason: Honestly, when I started to develop feelings for you, I didn’t want you to notice. Because I really do think you’re… genuinely funny. You know how to lighten the mood, even in the craziest situations. And the way you handle your weapons? It’s hard not to admire that. Your tough exterior is actually strangely appealing, and, yeah, you’re hot too.

Rose brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and giggled, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Jason: I’m ruining the illusion, aren’t I?

Rose: If you were like my last two partners, who lied about fifty percent of their lives, I’d say yes. But with you, it’s refreshing to see a softer side instead of just the bravado. Thankfully you're not literally flashing me.

Jason (amused): Which partner was that?

Rose (serious): Both. You ever seen a guy windmill his penis?

Jason: There was this one time with a crazy homeless man on a subway…

Rose (interrupting): Jay, I want you. And while you seem a little shy about this, which is surprisingly making you more attractive, I think we should give this a shot. Keep it low-key—don’t tell anyone.

Jason: YES! That was probably a bad reaction.

Rose: You’re cool. Trust me, I'm not in the mood for the typical ‘Oh, he’s my boyfriend, and I’m his girlfriend, and we go to pottery on weekends’ couple crap.

Jason: That sounds boring. But how about when this mission is over, we find somewhere private to continue this?

He took her hand, pulling her closer.

Rose (teasing): Oh, Mr. Red Hood, are you seducing me?

Jason: I think I am, Miss Rose Wilson. Would you like to give it a try?

Rose: Hm… mind if I employ a few of my special tricks on you? I can be pretty rough.

Jason: You bit my lip, and I moaned. What do you think?

Rose (playful tone): Let’s start with you catching me.

She brandished the key Jason thought was back in his pocket, having sneakily retrieved it before darting away from him.

Jason sighed happily and chased after her, laughter echoing behind them. As they stepped into the night, the exhilaration of the chase pumped adrenaline through his veins, promising that the evening was just beginning.

[moonchild701]

So I'm lowkey tweaking.

Now, as a preface, I love Aizawa. That man is foine.

So anyways, I'm clearing out some old pics from my phone because I haven't done this in far too long and I find some old pics........of my ex.

(When I say old pics, I mean that shit. We broke up in like, 2019. I still see him occasionally, whenever I go to our local anime convention but yeah. We'll come back to this one in a bit.)

ANYWAYS

I've always known he's hot, and I've always known that Aizawa is hot bUT I DID NOT PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER OF WHY I WAS IMMEDIATELY ATTRACTED TO AIZAWA

WHY DO THEY LOOK SM ALIKE I'M GENUINELY DEVASTATED

The long, dark wavy hair, stubble in the same places, dark, sleepy eyes, eyebags, not seeming muscular under his baggy clothes, but is actually pretty defined........even their personalities and slightly sadistic tendencies.......I'm Going To Scream.

And my immediate thought was, wow, oh fuck, I really fumbled an irl Aizawa lookalike huh, but then my brain caught up like. Bitch?? He's an asshole who cheated on you??? Get a grip???? And I calmed down but still.

THE WASTE.

To realize that they look and act so much alike is DEVASTATING ‼

Now, onto The Worst Part. Remember when I said I still see him occasionally at the anime convention??

HE CUT HIS HAIR.

HE LOOKS LIKE TIME SKIP AIZAWA NOW TOO.

I CANNOT ESCAPE, SOMEONE PLEASE FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT.

My only solace is that they don't sound alike. 😃

Like yeah, his voice was pretty deep but not Aizawa deep.

So yeah, I needed to rant. 🙂

[howlingday]

So, i have one ideia for The Jaune Werewolf AU: Silver and Salt.

Werewolves in Mythology have weakness to Silver Bullets, as we ALL know, but Brazilian Mythology says Werewolves fear Holy itens like Holy Water and Salt. You Can do Blake trying to feed him Salty food and him saying he has pressure problems or something similar.

Oh and there's also The thing of in Brazil werewolves Normally have at least 7 older sisters. If you want to know more about Mythology you can dm me.

Previously

It had been a few months since Jaune came forward about all the secrets he'd kept from his friends, and yet the biggest secret had remained all the more kept from them. But these secrets would not stay hidden for long. Blake had been hot on the trail of this Jaune Arc since his reveal to her that he was creature of the night.

...Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly that and maybe that term could use a bit of an update, but her point still stands: Jaune needs to come forward and admit that he is a werewolf, just like all of his kin! ...Okay, wow, these are some really aggressive statements she's making, but they're all with good intentions, she swears!

...Okay, that's enough thinking.

Instead, it was time to focus from the past to the present, in which she is following Jaune on one of his nightly walks. What started as a once a month gradually grew into a once every other night for the young werewolf. Blake noticed this increased departure and now decided to start following why he'd do this so suddenly.

He made his way out of the city, taking the bus to the outskirts where the cemetery sat. The two departed and entered the resting place of many a civilian and huntsman. Sadly, not all of these tombs were filled, instead replaced by a cherished memento of the dearly departed, as there were many an instance when the body couldn't be found, or worse, couldn't be buried in so little plots with so many pieces.

Blake kept her distance, though she and Jaune both paid to enter the cemetery. Due to the natural increase of negative emotions that may occur while attending, two huntresses had to be paid protection fees when visitors came. Thus far, no Grimm had even wounded their prey upon their reveal. Whatever the kingdom did to ensure the safety of it's mourners, it did well enough with their current plan.

"Oy! Water you doin ear?!" Blake flinched at the gruff voice. Looking up, she saw a burly man, hunched over like his head and shoulders were too heavy to be supported by his back. He had a tooth jutting out of his lower lip, which was extended further than his upper lip, and swollen left eye that she was sure impairing his eyesight. "Shooden you be up in the clouds?"

Was he shouting at a ghost who had left the graveyard? Or maybe an angel who'd descended to Remnant with a prophecy? Or perhaps-

"I'm back for another lesson~!"

Or it was another case of Jaune being Jaune, making all sorts of new friends wherever he goes.

"Anudder one?" The hunched man rubbed his chin. "Iza furteenth tem this week!"

"Yeah, I guess it is!" Jaune said with a laugh. "But I'm curious what else you can teach me!"

"Foin! Foin!" He waved his hands in the air. "Bet only after yeh tell me aboot yerself!" He hobbled away from Jaune. "Nah errynigh I getta tuk up a where wulf."

"Sure, sure." Jaune chuckled. "But, uh, I don't know about being a werewolf. It kinda makes me sound like a monster."

"Buh thaz what ya err!" The gent said as he approached a grave, before smacking it's stone with his cane. He then tossed Jaune a shovel. "Ta dig wit ya!"

Jaune nodded, digging his blade into the dirt before the headstone. She'd heard many stories about werewolves digging into graves to consume the corpses inside. Such a horrifying thought made her stomach churn, but still she crept closer. She had to see for herself.

"Noof!" Jaune stopped, looking to the gravekeeper. "Ah, juss a fyoo way froom a meeder!" Jaune began refilling the hole. "Yoos yer back en shoolders!"

"Yes, sir!"

"An whattaya sistas? Ya had seven?"

"Yup! All older sisters!" Jaune patted the ground. "And before you ask, no, they're not werewolves."

"Ull bleeve it win uh sees it."

Blake crept closer, noticing Jaune's muscular back facing her. By everything she considered precious, he was built like a wall of animal hair and endurance. She started imagining rubbing it as he laid in their bed, before turning over and grabbing her and-

"OY! WATER YOU DOIN EAR?!" Blake jumped at the sudden shout in her ears. "Nuh uh ya degenerates err loud in ear!"

"Blake?" She looked up to see Jaune towering over him. "When did you get here?"

Blake prepared for this moment! She thrust forward an emblem from Menagerie; a dual-sided mask with opposing horns. She waved it around, keeping her feet firm in the ground. She never really believed in the God of Animals, but if just this once, she could- "Ow!"

"Doon be shaygin that ear!" The gravekeeper shouted, shaking his cane. "It raddles up the ghosties!"

"Blake, were you following me?" She looked into Jaune's eyes, immediately regretting her decision as she fell for his big, blue puppy-dog eyes.

"Y-Yes..." Blake sighed. "You kept sneaking out, so I thought you might have been..."

"Oh... I get it now." Suddenly, he caught her in his powerful grip. "You were worried about me." He looked to his friend, though Blake didn't notice because she was in hairy, muscular heaven~. "I'll take it from here, Mr. Damp. Thanks again for tonight's lesson."

"Dinna minshun it." He then shook his cane at Blake. "Bet be worry aboot that one. She ruhminds me of me wife!"

[cevansbrat0007]

*clears throat and offers double chocolate chip cookies to GP Reader* Hello Mrs. Barber, I hope I am not being too forward in asking you these questions like I asked your dear husband last week. What are your favorite parts of your smokeshow husband's body and personality? And do you have any dating & relationship advice for this very introverted but very romance obsessed woman? Thank you so much for your time, you are like the cool aunties I've missed hanging out with.

Summary: It's Baby Girl's turn (also known as Mrs. Barber) to answer a few burning questions about her relationship with her husband, the infamous Andrew Barber. Written from Reader's POV.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Girl!Dad Andy Barber, Discussions of Fatherhood, Mentions of Oral Sex (Man Rec), Fingering (mentioned), Lloyd Evans-Drysdale, Punishments (mentioned), Spanking (mentioned), Fluff, Cursing, Minors DNI.

A/N: This installment of the A Growing Pains Interview Series also contains a brief reference to my fic, Handsy, where I first introduce Mr. Lloyd Evans-Drysdale. For more insight into Andrew Barber and his Baby Girl, please check out my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. ___

Hello! Finally, a question for me! I’m super excited, let me tell you. I believe we already know the ground rules with this…and I’ve sent Mr. Barber out of the room so we can all chat freely. I’ll show him this later. Maybe it’ll even earn me a reward. This girl right here has been on her best behavior this past week, which means no punishments!

You even have my promise to keep the hot streak going. Scouts honor, folks.

Let me start by saying that I love my sweet Andy Bear, and I am so unbelievably proud to call him my husband. He is by far the most amazing and brilliant man I’ve ever met. He’s also quite the menace, and I say that with all of the love. Whether we’re talking about his body or his mind, Andrew Barber is a fucking force, you guys. 

But at the end of the day, my man is foine as hell. Andrew is a luscious piece of ass wrapped in one big, well-proportioned package. And speaking of asses, have you seen his? You could bounce a quarter off that butt.

Quick fun fact: I tried it. It worked. So then I kept doing it. I even made a game of it which actually took up the entire day.

Although, the kids kept asking why Mama was “throwing money” at Daddy. So, I just made up some story about Daddy being forgetful and leaving his coins around the house, which meant that I had to try to put it back in his pocket for him.

But I had to be careful, because I didn’t want him to feel bad about being so darn forgetful. Worked like a dream. I mean, our beautiful Barber Babies bought that tale hook, line, and sinker. Even BiBi! She seemed suspicious, but then I caught her offering Andy one of her little wallets just in case he needed it. 

He was so touched by her gesture that he did eventually accept it. And then went out and bought her another one, complete with a matching piggy bank. Well, it was more of a llama bank – which also happens to be her favorite animal. Where he found it, I have no idea.  

Can I just deviate from the physical for a second to talk about what a wonderful father this man is? It’s not always about the big, grand gestures with us. In reality, it’s about the small, more intimate moments. Yes, our house is chaotic at times. We have four children under nine-years-old, so chaos kind of comes with the territory. 

And he handles it spectacularly – even when he fucks up. Now that might sound a bit harsh, but if I’ve learned anything from this whole parenting gig, it’s that you will fuck up sometimes. And we both do it, but he’s a wonderful partner who strives to be the best Dad he can possibly be. 

I love watching him with our children. He’s so protective and encouraging. He reads to them every night, takes them on “camping trips” in the backyard, and coaches pretty much every sport they’re involved in. I don’t quite get the whole camping business – I don’t do nature, or bugs – but apparently the kids do.

And they love that stuff. We don’t stay out all night, but we set up tents and tell stories and enjoy campfire snacks. Everyone stays up well past bedtime and my sweet little A.J., who takes after his father in so many ways, keeps me safe from “dah buggies” by sitting in my lap. See, Andy told him that bugs scared me, so it was up to them to keep me safe. Which is exactly what he does. 

Lord, help me when he grows up. I don’t know if I have it in me to live with two Andrew Barbers. But I guess I’ll just have to keep them, won’t I?

Oh! And in case you didn’t already know, Andy is also amazing company at tea parties. Katrina and Rory threw one the other day. They had me deliver a special, handmade invitation and everything. He picked out a suit, brought cookies from the local bakery, and even sat in a chair that was much too small for his bulky frame to be comfortable. 

But he did it all for his girls without so much as a fuss. 

I snuck a peek and nearly melted on the spot. And when we finally got a moment to ourselves, you can be damn sure that I got down on my knees with the quickness and sucked the soul out of my Big Man’s body. 

He didn’t fully understand why until I explained it to him later, but he also wasn’t complaining either. That man is the most delicious mouthful you could ever imagine. Mr. Barber is, eh, very well endowed. But I’ve also had ages to refine my technique. 

And he is always more than willing to let me practice. It’s actually very kind of him. That man has the patience of a saint – unless I’m deepthroating him. But otherwise his stamina is pretty top notch.

That aside, Andrew Barber is so completely and utterly devoted to me and this amazing little family we’ve built together that sometimes I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. I’ve never been loved so thoroughly or so deeply before. 

If I’m being honest, and I am, it actually used to scare me. And sometimes it still does if I let it. But I also accept my handsome ogre for who he is – the same way he accepts me for who and what I am.

Meaning that I’m a fucking brat, which I am through and through. It’s not my fault. My husband brings it out of me even when I least expect it. It might have something to do with that cocky grin of his, or that arrogant swagger he walks around with from time to time.

It makes me want to wreak havoc in new and inventive ways on a weekly, if not daily, basis. Andy knows this, of course. He claims he knew I was a brat from our very first date. I still have no idea what he means by that, so whatever. I just let him think what he wants. 

But we have fun together. And the things we do, the games we play…

It keeps things spicy. I guess you could say that it’s really Andy’s mind that turns me on. Couple that with his dominant and possessive nature and hot damn! Sometimes it can be a bit much to manage, but this girl doesn’t mind being slung over an impressive man’s broad shoulder every now and again.

I enjoy being manhandled. If it’s with the right man, that is. And Andrew Barber is definitely more than enough man for me. 

Anyway, I think that’s all I’ve got for now. As for your question about advice…hm. I would encourage you to just be yourself. 

But also, and I know this is much easier said than done, try to make yourself step outside your comfort zone. I’m saying go crazy or anything, but it might be worth taking a small risk here and there. Occasionally it’s okay to make the first move – even if you find that idea terrifying. 

With Andrew…I made the first move. Of course he tells it differently, and yes he may have seen me first, but I made the first move. Which was something that I had never done before. And I was so unbelievably nervous. At the time I found it so strange to be drawn to a person like that, especially with someone who possesses such an intimidating aura. 

But being just a little brave is ultimately what led me to the love of my life. Don’t get me wrong. My palms were sweaty and my legs felt kind of like jello, but I just felt like I had to try. 

And to this day, I’m so glad that I did. Because it means that I get to live my own love story. And while it’s not all a bed of roses, because we do have our problems, I do firmly believe that I’ve found my other half. And it’s because we continue to take a chance on one another and the bond that we’ve built every single day. 

Whatever you believe in, things happen for a reason. And when you find your person, you’ll know. They will accept you for who you are and will work hard to love you the way you need to be loved.

Just take a deep breath and have a little faith. Take a chance. Take a risk. But don’t settle for anybody, man or woman, who refuses to see your worth, girlfriend. You’re much too special for that. 

Signing off with love – Mrs. Barber 

P.S. I’ll be your cool Aunty all day long, boo! I’m always here if you need something or if you have more questions. Andy Bear and I screen these things together, but nothing is really off limits with us. And I will always happily take advantage of any opportunity to gush about the love of my life. Even if he is a menace. 

P.S.S. I also forgot to mention that I love Andy’s hands. You know in romance novels where they write about the hero having perfect hands with long, nimble fingers sporting just the right amount of callousness? That’s him. And not only that, but my Big Man’s fingers are absolute magic. Or instruments of torture. Depends on the day, really. 

By the way, my husband has the most delightfully one-sided rivalry with my favorite Hollywood actor, Lloyd Evans-Drysdale. It’s so funny! But the other day, I pulled up this interview where Lloyd cracked this eyebrow-raising joke about “all of his fingering being accurate” and watched it in bed right next to Andy. And then I may or may not have made some comment about how some men ought to be more like him [Lloyd Evans-Drysdale] and maybe take some notes. 

My husband didn’t like that. I got in sooo much trouble for it too. I mean, if you consider being held down, spanked, and then fucked within an inch of my life trouble. 

Completely worth it.

And in case you’re wondering, the answer is yes. All of Andy’s fingering is incredibly accurate in its own right. Even more so than Lloyd’s. And this girl has had more than enough orgasms to back him up. 

Also, Andy would probably also like me to mention that he is, in fact, taller than my movie star crush. And that he’s never had to wear a lace-front wig because his hairline isn’t receding. My sweet man can be a bit of a mental patient, but I do love him...

So, I guess I'll just have to put up with it. For now. Thank goodness he's cute.

___

[lingle-dingle]

How tf did Netflix ATLA make the show sexist by, “removing the sexism.”

😭😭😭

What is with the Suki/Sokka romance? Why is Suki immediately down for him? Immediately when she started liking him after he got humbled?

Where’s Katara’s feminist rant opening Aang? Like we miss the symbolism of Katara’s fight against sexism and for equality opening the possibility for balance in the world as a whole. Why does Katara kinda suck?

Why did Azula have her hair down for her intro? She’s never shown with her hair down except in the scene where Zuko wakes her up asking why she said he killed the avatar and in the final where she’s losing her cool. A big part of Azula is her being calm, cool, and collected. Never having a hair out of place.

Why is Azula seeming to imply she’s jealous of Zuko and resents her father for keeping her in the Fire Nation? Azula is the golden child and she’s desperately fighting to be anything but Zuko. She can’t be, “like Zuko.”

Where’s the Pippinpaddleopsicopolis scheme?

Why does Appa look like his, “Lost Days,” self all the time? Appa looks fuckin HAGGARD. Appa looks like he’s been on a hell of a meth bender.

Why does Zuko sound like he’s about to cry half of the time? Zuko was a grouchy hothead, not a spoiled brat?

Why is Aang’s staff a dowel rod with a brown cube? Why does he use it to fly like once?

Why did they do Gyatso dirty? He took out like 100 firebenders, he certainly didn’t get doodooed on by 5 unnamed firebenders.

Why are they in Omashu before the Northern Water Tribe?

Why does Zuko still have two eyebrows? That scar side one should be gone.

Why is Teo straight up homicidal? Mood, but gahhdamn.

The effects are pretty good, the fighting is cool, the casting was amazing, the acting could have been better, Cabbage Man slayed as per usu, some of the changes they made really did make sense and work but there were quite a few that just didn’t.

The final product is giving, “Really Good Student Project.”

Jett is FOIN FINE tho so there’s that.

I’m on episode 4 so there’s still more time; perhaps it’ll get better.

[letmebes-blog]

“Obsessed”

summary: you and Ellie are enemies , for some unknown reason. You both were complete opposites. your not popular but known,and quiet but known as one of the most prettiest girls in school,while Ellie is the most popular girl in school and also the player who got into every girls pants. You and ellie were invited to a party which you didn’t know she was going to attend.You were also wearing a revealing dress ( not for her tho) when she saw you dancing on some creep, you were in for a wild ride that night.

Ellie Williams x Black fem reader (sorry not sorry )

warnings: Ellie is dom in this one. vaginal fingering,pussy eating,cum eating,ellie is soft but also kinda rough. college au.

A/n: uhhh let’s not ask why it’s black fem reader🤗 hope u enjoy‼️‼️

you never knew why Ellie fucking Williams didn’t like you. Was it the way you were so silent, was it the way you laughed,smiled ? you didn’t know but the hurtful words she would say would to you would hurt you sometimes and that’s what made u hate her. You were taken away from your thoughts when you heard a knock on your dorm door (and did i mention ellie is your roommate),you were just wearing a bra and short shorts. You thought it was dina but instead it was your annoying roommate who brought one of her hookups to your guy’s shared dorm. You sighed knowing you would have to go to dina’s dorm “i’ll get out since i know what you guys are gonna do” you said packing your things. You put on some sweatpants and an old band t-shirt. grabbing snacks on the way out.

The break from ellie was much needed though you would make interactions with her in the hallways. you said your goodbyes to dina and went back to your shared dorm,sighing before going in. You see ellie laying on her bed peacefully. A side you’ve never seen of her. “ Are you gonna stop staring ?” “fuck off.” was all you said. Then dina texted you.

dina: you wanna go to that party jesse talked about ?

you: yea i’m down

dina: ok perfect! meet me at my dorm at 7:00 !!

Ellie then asked you “Who are you texting?” “none of your business” “i’ve never heard of them who are they ?” she said smirking, that little bitch you thought. You rolled your eyes so hard you thought you could see your brain. “shut up”

It was the day of the party and you and dina had got dressed and then got your guy’s way to the party. you were wearing a very revealing dress which was not really your type but dina urged for you to wear it. You had your natural hair out. and you looked FOINE.

You had just got there and went straight to the drinks. You asked for some tequila because you wanted to get DRUNK tonight. you had already downed 5 shots and you were ready to get onto the dance floor.

You favorite song started to play and you start swaying your hips to the beat. Not noticing that ellie was watching your every move while twirling her glass in her hand. Watching the way your hand moved up and down your body. You were to drunk to notice the man that got behind you while you were dancing and now your were dancing on his crotch. He then got in front of you and kneeled putting his face in between your thighs and faked eating you out while you put your hand on his head,Throwing you head back. And ellie did not like the sight of it. Although you were enjoying this you felt a hand grab your wrist and bring you up to a room. “Hey!What are you doing i was enjoying that ?!” “I’m trying to keep you from messing with that guy” you knew that voice far to well. “ Ellie ?! what do you mean?!” You shout. “He’s no good”Though ellie knew nothing about this boy,ellie tried her best to make a lie up so she could be alone with you. “ i don’t believe you!” you said frowning but that frown soon turned upside down. “Wait are you jealous williams?” you said teasing her. “What?! no i-i just-“you just what williams?” you said looking at her with doe eyes. her emerald eyes look into yours and then your lips are smashing against each other. She bit your lip which made you moan giving her access to the inside of your mouth,and god, did you taste good. “god y/n i didnt know you sound so pretty” you flush at her comment. “ can i take this off baby” you nodded “ I need words baby” “Yes ellie” you breathed out.and with that the upper part of your body was unclothed. “my god,you have such nice tits baby” she said flicking your nipple with her tounge. you let out a soft a moan with a arch to the back. “ more” you said. letting your tit off with a pop “where are your manners baby?” Ellie said while giving your tits a slap. “m’sorry i just want more” “okay baby i’ll give you what you want.”She pulled your dress all the way down and it was now somewhere on the dirty floor. she toyed with your clit and said “what do you want baby” “ fuck you “ you said turning your head. “well i guess you’re not getting anything “ she responded. “ok fuck i’m sorry, i just want your fingers” you said. “good girl.”FINALLY putting her two fingers in with ease. you let out a soft moan at the stimulation. her pace quickened as well as your moans. “you are insufferable .” you say “i could say the same princess”She put her mouth on your little pebble and with a harsh suck you were almost on the edge.she noticed your pants we’re quickening “you gonna cum baby ?”you nodded“yes! im gonna cum ellie!” “cum on my fingers baby” and with those words your back arched and you came. Ellie sucked her fingers moaning at your taste.Letting you breath Ellie said “ you okay ?” “mhm”

after 5 minute Ellie asked “ready for round 2 ?”

“Hell yeah” you replied.

[thesupreme316]

lucien price x female reader?? the reader is an nxt vet who lucien has a huge crush on and he finally asks her out!

In Debt (Lucien Price x Fem!Reader):

Word Count: 876

Supreme Speaks: heyyyy sorry for being late (per usual). thanks to @hooks-martin for requesting this, hopefully this meets up to your liking and expectations. please remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Warnings: none i think

You were the star of NXT, since 2019

And you have been for a while, even when you were moved off to the main roster in 2021

You were on the main roster for three years; you won championship after championship

But it didn’t feel like home

You liked the NXT roster and booking way better than the main roster

So after accomplishing many things on Raw and Smackdown, you requested to go back to NXT

Now that you’re back, you’re focused on winning the women’s championship and becoming a role model to the locker room

…Even though you have your eye on someone…Lucien Price

He was foine, he was cool, he was funny, and most importantly he was caring

You had a crush going on him for some months now (it was a moderate crush)

So you made it your goal to make him fold for you

You’ve tried everything: hair flips, asking him to practice with you, asking him to help you put on your necklaces

Literally everything but nothing worked he would continue to “friend zone” you…or so you thought cause this man? THIS MAN?

HE HAS BEEN HOLDING BACK EVERYTHING FOR YOU

Man’s has admired and liked you since before he came into the company

This little crush of his has grown into a severe crush to the point that he cannot go a day without you consuming his mind

He would often fantasize about his life with you as his girlfriend and he would feel waking up to your face

But because he knows how much of a big deal you are, he doesn’t believe that you would ever fall for him

He is literally trying to convince himself that this massive crush on you will pass and that you don’t like him

BUT OLE DUDE WAS WRONG

“Bro, you are a literal idiot,” Bronco said as he looked over at his best friend, who was staring a hole into your head as you were tying your shoes. “I don’t know why you just don’t go up to her and tell her how you feel.”

Lucien sighed, “You don’t understand! Bronco, that woman over there is literally everyone’s dream girl. I’ll be honest, I’m probably the person with the smallest chance.”

“You aren’t and you would see that if you opened your eyes,” Bronco whispered to himself. “Bro, I’m just telling you, if it makes you feel better, confess now before someone else just swoops in and takes her from you.”

“I’m gonna get rejected,” Lucien said, making Bronco groan. It really frustrated Bronco that Lucien does not see the hints that you gave him. All the touchy gestures, hanging out together outside of work, offering to help him in the ring, etc. However, Bronco came to the realization that his best friend is just an idiot.

Looking around, he saw Roxanne Perez, your best friend. He called out to her and she jogged to greet the pair. “Hey guys, what’s up?” 
“If you can, can you tell us Y/N’s ideal type or crush?” Bronco asked as Roxanne looked around, unsure what to say. “Or can you give Lucien some advice on how to approach her?” 
Roxanne’s eyes widened and a smile appear brightly on her face, “You should definitely talk to her! I’m sure she’ll hear you out.” Lucien looked very unsure of himself as he gazed over at your body again. “Go! I heard that Wes Lee was gonna ask her out and between us, he doesn’t have a shot.”

Bronco pushed Lucien toward you. He took a deep breath before his feet carried him the rest of the way. “Y/N!”

You turned around with a smile on your face, “Hi cutie! How are you?”

“I’m good, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Anything, I’m an open book!” You smiled as your heart raced a little bit.

“Well, I’m not sure I’ve been obvious or oblivious but either way, I can’t deny how I feel towards you. I have the biggest crush on you, and…uh…this is harder than I thought.”

Your smile grew even more if that was possible. “Lucien, I’ve had a crush on you since you entered NXT.”
 Lucien’s jaw dropped as he took in the information, “What?”

“Told your dumb ass!” Bronco shouted from a distance, which made Roxanne kick his shin. “Ow, shit!”

“I’ve liked you even before we talked. I just thought you didn’t like me because of you not taking my hints.”

“So all those times..” Lucien started.

You giggled “Yes, I was flirting with you.”

“Well then, this makes conversation way easier.” Lucien chuckled, “Y/N, will you go out with me?”

“Of course.” You said as you went for a hug, wrapping your arms around his torso. Lucien looked at his and your best friends with a cheerful expression as he mouthed the words she said yes. “Also you’re gonna pay for every time you didn’t get my hints.”

“Am I in debt?���

“Hell yeah.”

And from that day forward, Lucien has been repaying his “debt” with dates, gifts, and love for his newfound girlfriend.

[sunarc]

WHY IS CHOSITO SO PINCHE FOINE

THE HAIRRR OH MY- I wanna tie that man up so badddddd and just do whatever I want to him UGH

[scripted-downfall]

Dark Angel Reaction: PILOT

@typicalopposite reacts [with occasional asides by scripted-downfall]

Hawkins lab vibes are strong

Shoot them!? They are bebes

Hawkins vibes gone he didn’t try to kill her 😂😂  Just bring her back

Now lady hawke vibes? She fell through the lake

Ok discount Clint Eastwood.

Ma’am.  Ma’am why were you in the clearing.  Where they can see you.  Under the ice.  When there’s all that snow covered spaces

“Hope is for losers.  Still, I hope they are ok.”  LOSER

[scripted-downfall here mentions that clips from this show were used in Hitman despite them not making any sense given the film’s plot]

She was not bouncing around fren.  She was seizing.  There’s a difference

Ok so regardless of how I feel about her character or the actress herself. Ma’am’s foine [scripted-downfall here mentions that she should watch Sin City, then]

I love his accent ☠️☠️☠️

I have met Normal

They have lgbt; How advanced [scripted-downfall here says: OC MY BELOVED]

Oh bby not the first date anniversary

Is that Logan?  On the tv?  I know the voice 😂 Tony was my favorite on NCIS [scripted-downfall confirms because she has no follow-through on the no-spoilers rule.  Also, she’s already said way too much previously to try that now]  now I’m just picturing a news reporter kneeling over a dead body with a quill pen… dipping it in the blood to write

I have no idea what she just said. Just heard ones and zeros… then No way.   

I thought he said he pissed on some one. ☠️☠️  But he said I pissed and moaned

CHEATER!!  CHEATER!!  OMG!  ON THE BIG 1-0!  How dare he?!  MENNNNN

WHAT A GIFT  Bruh.  Men.

“Hey bby girl. I know you're mad at me for leavin you for someone else. But I only did cause you sucked.  Take me back”

“You’re like a mystery… it’s… mysterious”

Ma’am, you can’t drive your bike in here

Them straight across brows Are killing me 

I thought that was Mary.  Or Ellen.  Le gasp

“She was a white lady! With blonde hair and blue eyes. How hard is that to find!”  ☠️☠️☠️

How.  Howwwww.  Did that little ass knife.  Open that door

Don’t do it max- Fuck that.  Lady just yeeted her self off the building

Tony!  I mean Logan

It looks like he cocked a flashlight

This is the most monotone back and forth

That run.  THAT RUN ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Oh shitttt They slicing him up, poor kid 😖😖😖

[scripted-downfall, while watching the show for the second time: this is the most friendly/smiley I’ve ever seen Max; wth happened!?]

Oh Theo dyinnggg

“We gotta talk” “Nothing” Bruh MEN

🤔🤔🤔 Why did she open the can in his face ☠️

It’s scary spice’s hi for me.

“Let me get my coat”  “The one you’re wearing?” ☠️

A man that understands she’s stronger. A little respect!

Poof she gone  *insert “A ghost!” gif*

Ok Lydia stfu

I’m ded.  This whole scene ☠️☠️☠️  “Imma claw you.” *sticks hand in face… max grabs it*  “let go of my hand.”  Just.  Wot

“I broke into your house.  HOW DARE YOU BREAK INTO MINE?  And then cook for me!?”

Is Peter a robot?  He seems like a robot

“I had to see you… pretty thief lady”

[scripted-downfall interrupts: WTF IS THAT CHIN GRAB I DIDN'T REMEMBER THAT]

– – –

Brief hiatus because we had to pause for a bit.  After being asked about what she thought thus far: 

Not too bad.  I’ll definitely have to rewatch it once work comes down and I can watch it at home but I like it

– – – 

Gotta love the classic your telling me exactly how it was but I’m gonna play dumb

He’s like bitch you got a barcode on your neck

Oh nooooo guy got mugged.

 Well, “Mugged”

Oh nooo Theo

Ninja kids!  Minus one

Ooooh. Normal, buddy… you just put your foot all the way down your throat [scripted-downfall interjects: Yeah, he, uh.  Does that a lot.]

Not robot Peter!!!

Ahhh guilt

So she gonna go save the kid?

Is that discount Clint Eastwood?

“Oh pretty boy! I’m sawwry I got you ded”  [scripted-downfall: I hadn’t noticed the religious imagery starting this early because I didn’t know the significance from Pollo Loco.  That’s interesting.]

He needs to just sit up and go… bitch wtf are you talking about

Pshhhh you’re face screamed guilt shush woman

“I don’t feel guilt. Imma save him… cause he’s pretty. And imma talk to him and tell him a story the whole time… but I don’t feel guilty”

Blahblahblah angsty girl blah

Side note: We should totally watch a scary movie and commentate on it [scripted-downfall: YES.]

No one sees spider girl.  Yeah. Right

Well that was easy ☠️

Ooo 👀  [scripted-downfall: ma’am is looking disrespectfully]

Her hair is a lil greasy tho

… welp I had a dirty thought to that ☠️  Just gonna keep it to myself ☠️☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️ MEN

Le gasp Is she double crossing or is this part of it?

You have tired eyes.  But… same so eh

Typical MANNNNN

SAME MAX (her face at his little attempt)

Oooh super speeed [scripted-downfall: as you can see, she’s being very subtle about being from Manticore]

She just threw that man by her ears

Did she really ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [scripted-downfall: was that about her smacking his ass?] Yes.  She pulled his pants down and I was like…. What’s this rated again  [Yes.]

How long can ma’am hold her damn breath. Cause GEEEEZ [scripted-downfall: Another Manticore power.]

Okie dokie [scripted-downfall: *inserts Supernatural “I like him; he says okey-dokey” gif*.]

Why is the one holding his mouth like that!?!

angelic music cause buddies are dumb

Clint sees something [scripted-downfall: His name is Lydecker, btw]

Nah man you just had her, dummy

More angelics to ride away angstily on

[scripted-downfall: This won’t make sense yet, but I didn’t realize that Sky was already here in the pilot.]

Oh wow Normal. That’s dirty.  They just be shipping people. That’s- Is that legal?  IS THAT LEGAL?  I can’t even take my dad in the car with out his death certificate; cops might think he’s cocaine [scripted-downfall:  I don’t think the cops much… care.]

Oh so is he paralyzed the whole show? [scripted-downfall: It’s… iffy.  You’ll see.]

“I need you to do a little leg work for me” Cause mine don’t

Angelics one more time.  [scripted-downfall: You do know the show’s called Dark… Angel.  Yeah?  :)]  On top of a building.  In front of the moon.  How angsty.

-- -- --

I like it!  But alas I cannot watch another!  I’ll publish a summary judgement later though

[scripted-downfall: That's a wrap, folks! Next episode will be... tomorrow? *smiles and puppy-dog-eyes at @typicalopposite and prays it works*]

[xxiamtiebrousxx]

Chapter 12 "Last Call" (Head-Shots | Sniper x Reader)

I sighed, sitting down at the table. Mundy and I already put our cards in and Scout delivered it back here. We were all gathered at the table, with seventy hours to live. Medic and Engineer weren’t here though. They were probably trying to prevent our deaths. My eyes scanned the room. Scout was smiling, but I saw some sweat roll down his cheek. He was nervous. Spy placed a bucket on the table. It was filled with said cards from before. Mundy handed me a watch.

“What’s this for?” I asked, looking at it.

“Just put it on,” he whispered.

“This is a bucket,” Spy said. He had our attention now. Demoman gripped his bottle tightly.  Soldier leaned over the table, examining the bucket.

“Dear God,” he replied.

“There's more,” Spy said. I stifled my laugh. Of course there was more, there’s always more.

“No!” Soldier replied. Wow, was he really that amazed by a simple bucket?

“It contains the dying wish of every man here,” he said. He turned to Scout. “Scout. You did collect everyone's dying wish?”

“Oh, you bet!” he replied, saluting Spy. Heavy crossed his arms. I looked over to Mundy. He nervously fiddled with his fingers. I placed my hand over his and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Excellent,” Spy answered. “Gentlemen and lady, synchronize your death watches.” 

Oh, that’s what the watch is for.

Yes indeed. I clicked the button on the side of the watch. It beeped and turned on. The screen read seventy hours. Oh wow. At least I now knew when I was timed to die. I covered my mouth as I yawned. Spy stepped from the front of the table and walked from right to left. He lit a cigarette in his right hand. His left hand was firmly clasped behind his back. “We have seventy hours to live,” he said. “For most people, no time at all.  We are not most people.” He was good, like a general inspiring his soldiers right before the battle. “We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count!” he exclaimed. “The clock is ticking, gentlemen and lady. Let's begin.” He drew a note from the bucket.

Is it ours?

No.  “Our first dying wish is Scout's,” Spy replied, gesturing to him. “He’s…” He examined the card more closely. “... drawn a picture of me getting hit by a car.” Scout chuckled. “I have something radiating off of me.”

“Yeah, those are stink lines,” Scout whispered. I gave Mundy the “are you kidding me?” look. He replied with “Yeah, this is the stuff we have to put up with” look.

“That's why the car hit him,” Scout said, explaining his drawing. “Cause he smells.” Spy rolled his eyes, drawing another card.

Is it ours this time?

Nope.

“Yes I see,” Spy said. “Here you've drawn me having…” he stopped midway and placed it down, clearly disturbed. “We’re done here,” he said. Soldier held up a card.

“You did not read mine,” he said. Spy sighed.

“Does it say you want the bucket?” he asked.

“Yes.” He handed Soldier the bucket and we all got up. I followed Mundy. He took a glance behind him, seeing that I was there.

“You coming along?” he asked. I nodded. “Foine with me. I’m gonna make a couple of phone calls to my parents.” We went back to his camper. I guess I’d be spending my last seventy hours here. Sniper closed the door behind him. He pulled off his vest and threw it onto the driver’s seat. He pulled out a small phone from under the kitchen sink. I had never seen that before. He hooked it up and punched in some numbers. The phone rang a while before the person on the other line picked up. “Hey mum,” he said. 

Oh, it’s his parents. My heart dropped. He was saying his final goodbyes. “Yeah mum, Oi’m alright. Good to hear you’ve been doing foine as well. Tell Dad Oi said hi as well,” Mundy said. “Yeah mum, Oi love ya both.” He sighed, hanging up. “You wanna call someone?” he asked. I sighed.

It wouldn’t hurt now. By the time Dad finds out where we are, we’re gonna be dead. 

Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to call everyone and say goodbye.

“Sure, I’ll make a call,” I said. Mundy handed me the phone. I punched in Dad’s number. It rang a bit. I nervously played with the cord. Finally, someone picked up, but they didn’t say anything. “Hello?” I asked. No answer. I sighed, pinching the tip of my nose. “Hey guys, it’s me, Y/n.” Still no answer, but I continued. “Dad, Greg, Ross, Virgil, the other Greg, Beatrice, Fred and George, I’d like you all to know I loved you guys. You were always there for me, heck, you raised me.” I stopped. This was getting hard. “So, if you don’t hear from me in three days from now, assume I’m dead and don’t go looking for me. Love you.” I hung up. Mundy took the phone.

“Why are you staying with me?” he asked.

“Hmm?” I replied. 

“I asked why are you staying with me,” he said. “Is there a reason as to why?” he asked. I blushed. “You could’ve stayed with that Spoi and waited for your family. You don’t have to spend your final days with me.”

Tell him, TELL HIM!

I will, okay? Geez. “What’s it like to kiss someone?” he asked out of the blue. What? 

He asked that?

Um, yeah.

“Uh…” I trailed off. “What’s it like to kiss someone? Well, I guess if it’s the right guy or girl, unlike how it was with Spy, it’s wonderful,” I said. I recalled the time Spy took Sniper’s place. If it was indeed Mundy, I would have enjoyed it greatly. I chuckled. “Kissing is a good thing,” I said. “It’s a nice way of showing your affection.” Mundy moved closer. He grabbed my hands. 

Wait, what’s going on? “What are you doing?” I asked.

“Oi wanna show you some affection, as you would put it,” he answered. Mundy lifted up my chin. Our eyes met, the same way they did when Spy pretended to be him. I was panicking. He was acting like Spy. “Y/n, Oi love-.” The door slammed open. We both looked at who was standing at the doorway. Scout was panting and sweating.

“You see where Spy went?” he asked. 

“Uh….” He chuckled. 

“Sorry, I interrupted something,” he said. “I’ll uh, I’ll go check in his room.” Scout ran off. Mundy let go of my hands. 

“Oi didn’t mean to scare ya, Y/n,” he said. 

“Yeah,” I replied. “You know what? I’ll go if you want.” I headed out the door but Mundy grabbed my hand.

“Please, stay,” he said. I sighed, nodding.

“I’ll stay,” I answered. “I’ll stay.”

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

CITADEL Star Richard Madden at JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE!

Posted on April 25, 2023

We bet you wouldn’t mind looking at a few shots of Citadel star Richard Madden walking in and out of the Jimmy Kimmel studios looking foine af right about now.

For such a plain, nearly generic outfit, it sure is doing the right things for him. We think his style sweet spot lies in the pretty standard end of menswear. It’s not that he can’t work outfits or pieces with more edge or modernity to them, but he’s got the looks of a classic movie star and he’d be foolish not to make use of them. We could take or leave the rest of it, but that jacket is covetable.

Dull as dishwater from a style perspective, but the man is delivering jawline, cheekbone, and movie star shades, which is all he needs at the moment. Why fight what you got?

** Well-fitted, a testament to what perfect fit, tailoring, and simple, chic pieces can do for an already devastating person and generic 🤗

[sweet-chimera]

Anonymous asked:

Honey why do your kids keep dying?

“T’ats rat’er cheeky o ye lad--” If she were anyone else there’d be a dead grey man here. “... boot if yer referring tae Crowley--”

“He’s in his hero phase. Savin’ everyoone ate tae expense o’ his body. Expectin’ everyoone tae patch him up afterwards. Ah can’t keep fixing hi-- boot aw an’ bile yer head ye wee clipe. he’ll make it oot o’ t’is foine.”

“If t’eres oone t’ing aboot humans is t’at t’ey refuse tae go down.”