#why is he always posting fucking sad songs 😭

[curtins]

DITTO — Gojo Satoru a rewrite of this post.

prologue. → brave, lucky, courageous. these are the words that people bestow upon you when the dust has cleared, and the king of curses is no more. you disagree, for if you were lucky, gojo satoru would still be standing at your side. instead you've been left to stare at the ocean shoreline on your own, without your best friend (the love of your life) by your side.

pairing. gojo satoru x afab!reader

warnings+. unfulfilled/unresolved love. angst, hurt, comfort, fluff. your usual shenanigans. sfw! implied, minor satosugu (mb because geto is my beautiful sad princess and i love him so he has to be a part of everything). pining, idiots in love. grief, and what you do after you've lost what you treasure the most etc u get it. reader is from an unnamed clan, has a younger brother. reader also wears skirts, dresses sometimes, character death + injury

word count. 11k! 😭 song inspiration. ditto — newjeans / 뉴진스 (2022) a/n. i wrote rough headcanons and posted them yesterday but i woke up thinking dang i should actually write something better about that lmao. update: i thought i'd finish this in a few hours, why did this take me like 2 days? update #2: dawg this is long as fuck...this kinda depressed me to write

mp3. do you think about me now, yeah. all the time...

✉️ — 1995. 💬 — gojo.

these meeting rooms were hushed, grand, and the kind of place that simply swallowed up any sound and echo; where the wood-panelled walls were lined with the tapestries and polished symbols of his clan.

and in the hush, gojo had sat cross-legged on the tatami mat, trying to listen to the conversation of the adults, with their low and steady voices that droned on. this was so boring. they were always speaking of things that he just couldn't understand, but his parents said these meetings were important, and so he was dragged along - much to his eternal chagrin. still, he shifted in place, glancing around at the detailed screens painting around the corners of the room, in varying shades of blue.

across the room, there was another kid. one who sat beside her father, fidgeting just as he was. and gojo could tell by the way that you kept glancing towards the door that you, too, longed to escape. your gaze caught his, and there was that flicker of mutual boredom that sparked between you two. you had scrunched up her nose, as if to say 'this is so boring, isn't it?'

gojo grinned, stifling a giggle. he had leaned back, just a little, surveying the adults who paid no heed to him, before letting himself inch across the rough texture of the mat towards the door.

"do you want to see the garden?" he mouthed silently, his words exaggerated and slow, so you would understand.

your eyes had lit up, and you nodded, just as your father (well, he assumed it was her father) leaned down to whisper something in your ear, his voice a low rumble that was far too quiet for gojo to catch. you were nodding obediently, but your eyes were now fixed with the glimmer of excitement, and he quickly held the door open for you as you scrambled out the door, following him quietly as they creaked down the long hallway.

and soon, they reached the back of the estate, where the garden stretched out like a hidden oasis, filled with the flowering bushes, the winding stone paths, and the pond that glistened in the morning light. suddenly, he stopped by the edge of the pond, brushing pale hair out of his stinging eyes, "i'm satoru, by the way."

you had sat down quickly, as though the long walk had winded her (gojo had barely needed to stop to catch is breath), and your robes dipped into the pond, letting the water seep up slowly, "i've heard of you. my parents say you're an only child."

gojo shrugged, trying to think of something important he could tell you, "it's not so bad. one day, i'm going to be the head of my clan," puffing up his chest a little.

you had nodded, "i would like to be too, but my younger brother would get it. because...you know."

gojo didn't quite know but he nodded like he understood, and he tried to think of something smarter to say, "well the job isn't that fun anyway. it's just sitting around reading papers, and telling people what to do."

you had pouted, frowning, "i want to tell people what to do all day. and i would get the nicest robes too as clan head."

and you had looked so unhappy at the prospect that you were being robbed of a stellar wardrobe that gojo made up his mind, right then and there, "tell you what, when i become my clan head, i'll make sure you get the nicest robes, how's that?"

your face had lit up, holding your little pinky up to his, "promise?"

gojo linked his finger with hers, sealing this silly vow and laughing, "why not?"

✉️ — 1996. 💬 — you.

when you're seven years old, you’ve resigned yourself to trailing behind gojo, watching as your friend takes on the world with the same reckless, eager energy that he seems to pour into everything that he does.

his voice has picked up a confidence that you haven't felt yet, and there's a permanent, flashy grin on his face that says he doesn't care what anyone thinks about him, not his parents, nor his clan.

and today, gojo's decided that the old shrine on the edge of your family estate needs exploring. you're a little less certain, especially since your father had told you that this shrine was haunted, but you find yourself following the boy anyway, and there's that silent agreement in place: he leads, you follow. you're alright with that, that's just the way it's always been.

he's dressed, as usual, in a loose grey hoodie that's two sizes too big for him, and his jeans have a hole in the knee; some small rebellion against his clan's strict sense of tradition. even his hair is awfully emssy, tousled and getting a little too long, and you know he hates it when his mother tries to comb it down, and you easily suspect that gojo just ruffles it on purpose to get a reaction out of those around him. he probably does everything on purpose for a round of reactions, honestly.

you, on the other hand, have your nicest lilac skirt on, and there's a small bow in your hair that the maidservants had pinned themselves (your mother had been too deep in her cups all morning). but you had fluttered around, feeling quite pretty in your skirt; like you were a fairy that would sprout wings and live in the clouds.

gojo glances back at you, and rolls his eyes, "you know, you look like you're going to one of the clan meetings," he mutters, but there's a playful glint in his eye. he's pulled a twig from the ground, and he's waving it around like a sword, slicing through imaginary enemies as he marches forward like an idiot.

you just shrug, quietly watching him cut through the tall grass ahead, "i like looking nice," you mumble, a little embarrassed. you can feel the careful way the sweet, old servant (she turned seventy last week!) had arranged your hair, and the press of the bow keeping it every lock in place.

"well, if you ever decide to look like you're not on your way to sit for a court painting, let me know," gojo says, smirking (he thinks he's funny) as he waves his 'sword' around, battling on the false frontlines.

but despite yourself, you laugh, and quicken your pace to keep up with him, and so, gojo slows just a bit, enough that you're walking side by side now, and his arm brushes against yours.

"did you know that they say that this shrine is spooked?" he asks, his voice falling to a dramatic whisper.

"i live here, satoru. obviously, duh," and the shrine comes into view, and it's small, weathered with age, but to you, it looks grand and mysterious, even magical, "do you believe it's haunted?"

gojo shrugs, unfazed, "nah, probably just an old rock. but it would be cool if it was. maybe, we'll see a ghost."

now you've taken a hesitant step back, but gojo just grins, grabbing your wrist and pulling you forward, and his hand is warm and steady in yours.

"c'mon, don't be a chicken," he teases, laughing as he drags you closer, and you plant your feet firmly in the ground, watching as clouds begin to roll over the sky, ominous and gloomy.

oh, this place is definitely haunted. your father was right, it's so over for you now. a massive, ugly curse is going to pop out and eat you alive, and steal your pretty hair bow. you mutter a small prayer under your breath. gojo satoru, you will pay for this.

✉️ — 2000. 💬 — you.

you'd always heard whispers about yourself from the other kids, how you were too quiet, or you tried far too hard to be perfect — unwilling to roughhouse the way they did. perhaps they were right, and it was true that you preferred to sit alone. you think it was the feeling of order you enjoyed, of a world you could control, even if it was just through lines on a piece of paper.

but today, their voices were louder than usual. a small group had gathered near the cherry blossom tree where you'd settle yourself, and they circled around like hungry wolves sniffing out something they could tear apart.

one girl wrinkled her nose and called you prissy (well, okay) and another boy had snickered and muttered that you were so boring, and it was a wonder that you even had a friend like gojo.

ouch.

their words felt like small, precise cuts, sharper than expected. you had heard these things before. after all, everyone had reached the age where they were aware of their abilities, their techniques as jujutsu sorcerers.

you didn't mind your own technique, making sure to channel time and energy to learn so you could grow up and be as good as your father one day (a well established sorcerer in his own right, if a bit out of shape).

but you didn't have to be very smart to know that gojo's abilities stood out entirely in a different way, and you heard your parents whisper in hushed tones at how lucky his clan was to have a child like that. with the right training and moulding, he could be the most powerful man to walk the earth.

how silly. gojo was all laughs, and smiles, and stupid jokes and bright, clever eyes. you thought it was dumb how they all spoke about an eleven year old boy like he was a weapon, kept in its sheath until it was ready to be drawn.

but of course, all the kids wanted to be friends with him instead. and today, these barbs hurt more — and you kept your eyes down, clutching your books a bit tighter, willing for these supposed 'friends' of yours to go away.

but before you could say anything, you heard his stomps.

"hey!"

gojo's voice was unmistakable, sharp and sudden as he clamoured over, all brashness and bravado. he had gotten a bad haircut recently (entirely his own fault for thinking he could put scissors to his own hair, but you had laughed so hard as he swore curses) so white tufts stuck out all over his head, making him look like he got stuck in a wall socket, even crazier than usual.

but gojo didn't look at you, just planted himself between you and the group, bruised fists clenched (they trained him too hard), and shoulders set, "what's your problem?"

the other kids stammered, clearly surprised, but that didn't stop him, he who looked like a small, lanky and angry polar bear.

"you think you're so funny? talking like that? say it again, and i'll knock your teeth out."

"ah, satoru -" you ran your tongue behind your teeth, the last thing everyone needed was another fight of bruised pride, and yanked hair, rolling around in the dust.

but one of the boys had muttered something under his breath, taking a half-step back. the others followed, shuffling, rolling their eyes and looking anywhere but at you and gojo.

and your best friend didn't move until they had scattered completely, leaving behind only the faint echos of their derision as they fled. and then he turned to you, his scowl fading into something kinder (good, you didn't like seeing him so upset) as he dropped onto the bench, beside you, pulling his knee up onto the bench so he could rest his chin against it casually.

"they're just idiots," he said, rolling his eyes, and his voice was softer, playful again, "don't listen to them."

you gave him a small smile, nodding, as the knot in chest loosened a little, "i wasn't really listening to them," you murmured, even though you probably knew that was a bold-faced lie.

gojo released a loud laugh, much too loud and forced, as he nudged you with his elbow, and he must have known it too, but he was smiling, "good, that's the spirit."

You managed a small smile, nodding, the knot in your chest loosening a little.

the world was quiet again as you both sat in silence, the soft breeze ruffling the grass and the cherry blossoms overhead. and then, with a shyer glance, you managed to look over at your friend, watching as messy tufts of his snowy hair moved ever so slightly in the breeze.

"thanks, 'toru," you said, quietly, but he just shrugged it off, brushing it away as though it was nothing.

"hey, what am i here for?"

✉️ — 2003. 💬 — you.

gojo was sprawled across your wide bed, looking at you as if you were the most ridiculous person in the entire world. his own suitcase sat beside him, already paced with the very few things he needed, and now he watched you with that eager, restless gleam in his blue eyes, like he could barely sit still.

"you're so overthinking this," he said, bright voice full of impatience, "just throw some stuff in a bag, and we're good to go. it's just tokyo, not the end of the world."

you scowled at the boy, holding up two sweaters; one sensible in a shade of pale blue, and the other thick, deep red and woollen, "but what if it gets cold? or rains?"

gojo rolled his eyes, throwing his head back dramatically onto your pillow, hands behind his head as he sprawled around like a snooty prince with all the time in the world.

"it's summer, it's tokyo, and it's not like we're moving to america," he smiled, "besides, if you pack any slower, we'll miss our first year."

you tried to brush it off, and something about his easy confidence made you feel a sharp twinge of nerve. this was really happening, you were truly leaving the bounds of your family estates, stepping out into the world, to attend jujutsu tech, a school in tokyo that you had heard so much about. well, there was another school here, in kyoto, but god, it would just be nice to get out of these ancient walls.

and yet -

gojo simply looked like he couldn't wait to shake the dust of his home off his sneakers, you felt something pull at you, like a sudden-appearing string that tied you to your home city, and it wouldn't let you go.

your best friend had caught the look on your face, and softened — just a bit, as he twiddled with a brand new pair of sunglasses, and he sat up closer, watching you carefully, "you're really going to miss it here, aren't you?"

and you shrugged, fidgeting with the sleeves of the red sweater, "i don't know. maybe, i suppose. don't you feel that way at all, satoru?"

he shook his head, resolute, "not even a little," but he saw your uncertainty, "listen, you'll be fine. you'll love tokyo. and hey," he nudged you gently with his knee, "i'll be right there with you anyway."

you appreciated that his confidence felt like a promise, something that you could at least hold onto, even in the big capital, and with a big, exaggerated sigh you tossed both sweaters into the suitcase.

"finally!"

✉️ — 2003. 💬 — gojo.

the both of you had arrived, bright-eyed and tired, as he clambered off the tall bus that had parked on the outskirts of tokyo, where jujutsu high was located.

gojo stood beside you, hands stuffed in his denim pockets, plastering a disinterested expression on his face. but he couldn't help how his eyes flittered to the sid,e underneath the dark shades of his glasses, watching you fawn over another new student, another boy who had arrived from some small town, who-knows-where, from a non-sorcerer family.

geto suguru.

well it was no lie that gojo liked him a lot too. there was no denying that he seemed polite, clever, maybe a bit shy. and effortlessly cool.

gojo had grown up in the stifling, grand estates of the big clans, constantly fussed over, and robed in fine silks printed with his clan motifs. all of those stuffy rules would sit, push around and make space in one's head, like a constant mantra from the elders.

he didn't need to look at you too closely to see what was going on, and he could tell right away, just from how you reacted. your smile stretched wider, and your eyes lit up like you were meeting someone who you really wanted to talk to.

geto who hadn't even changed into his uniform yet, with his stray strands of dark hair falling out of the knot on the back of his head, looking politely aloof, but cheerful, in worn black jeans and converse, and some baggy band t-shirt that would get gojo scolded by his mother for even wearing that inside the estate.

gojo noticed everything, especially the way your fingers slipped up to tuck your hair behind your ear when geto grinned at you (all because you’d recognised the band on his t-shirt, so what?) he saw how your eyes brightened, like geto suguru had unlocked some hidden code only you could decipher.

it annoyed him to realise that geto's calm, quiet charm was exactly the kind of thing you’d be drawn to. that’s what you liked, wasn’t it? the understated, thoughtful types who let the world come to them. not the loudmouth who cracked jokes at every opportunity, hoping to pull a laugh from his best friend.

well, fuck, he had to be a part of this too now.

✉️ — 2005. 💬 — both.

gojo's new obsession had a sleek, silver body and an olympus logo stamped on it in black, a camera that he'd been itching to buy; refusing to settle for anything less than the latest model. suddenly, he was determined to capture tokyo through his own eyes, and you and your friends had quickly become his reluctant muses on an impromptu day trip to the ameya-yokocho market.

"stop! stay right there, don't move! fuck, no! a little to the left!"

he waved his hands around, motioning for everyone to gather just as he wanted. you all exchanged amused glances, with shoko huffing around dramatically, as gojo crouched down on his long legs, then stood back up, and then crouched down again, as one of jujutsu high's most powerful sorcerers struggled to bring a camera into focus.

eventually, geto had laughed — raven hair falling over his beautiful face, and had gotten up to help gojo, fiddling with the lens as the rest of you milled around.

and then, suddenly gojo turned the camera directly on you. he pointed his finger your way, wide grin half-hidden but unmistakably earnest, 'c'mon, turn that frown upside down!'

he needn't have said a word, just seeing your best friend there, with his hair tousled and carefree grin, with the camera strap hanging off his neck, was enough to make you laugh, the kind that felt as bright as it sounded.

and so, you found yourself standing in the middle of the bustling market street, surrounded by friends and fellow students, and the lively hum of the weekend crowds, as you looked directly into the lens, with your smile softening under his gaze, as though the rest of the world had blurred into the background.

afterwards, gojo had taken a good look at the photo, and he didn't say much, but the look on his face lingered, almost like he was seeing something that he wasn't sure he was allowed to hold onto. you had shyly asked him later, coming up beside his shoulder, whether he had printed a spare copy of the photo, but he shook his head with the lie rolling off his tongue.

love was a selfish endeavour, to its core. he wasn’t about to tell you that he wanted to keep that photo for himself. and later, when no-one was looking, he slipped the small print into his wallet, right between his train pass and some spare change.

✉️ — 2006. 💬 — you.

your best friend, your dear satoru, had always been resilient; the kind of guy who threw himself at life with reckless energy, shrugging off injuries like they were just a part of the ride. he'd laugh off a scraped knee or a bloodied lip, flashing that cocky grin and a shrug as if pain was something for other people.

life for you went on, with your own routines and small moments. you learnt long ago that you didn't quite possess the natural, raw sheer jujutsu power that gojo had (or geto for that matter) but you could certainly hold your own in a scuffle. regardless, you had chosen to turn to academics, flitting between classes and study sessions, arm in arm with sweet shoko.

there was joy in sneaking off campus with friends, or scrolling through lists of new albums to download onto your mp3 player (you had been partial to the south korean boyband, tvxq!).

and so, life seemed both incredibly mundane and slightly electric, with days marked by shy smiles and inside jokes, with walks home on the streets wet from the spring rain.

but it had been late summer when gojo had returned from that last mission, when the days were still long and hot and the afternoons were bathed in a thick, heavy amber. and he had come back...different.

he moved carefully, as though each step was suspicious and took more effort than he'd let on, and his usual bright glimmer was dimmed, his laughter quiet, and his smiles withheld like a rare currency. he'd sit through the long evenings with you, in silence more often than not, hands stuffed into his wide pockets as he stared at a place that you just couldn't reach.

when you'd catch him alone in the courtyard after class, he'd be training hard, working through his cursed techniques with a relentless focus, perfecting each hand gesture as if he could shake off whatever shadow lingered behind him. and sometimes, he'd stay for hours after school, practicing beneath the dying and dusty light of the last days of summer, as if he could not afford to stop, to rest.

“gojo?” you called, hesitating as he finished a strike to some poor unsuspecting pile of soda cans, leaving them obliterated in the heat. “what's going on with you?”

he paused mid-motion, glancing at you, his face carefully blank. and you hated that, you hated how the flicker of distress would pass from his face before being schooled into that carefully constructed mask of 'the strongest.'

i love you, idiot. i love you, i love you, tell me what's bothering you and i will help, you're my best friend.

but these words never saw the light of day, always curling up and choking up in your throat, and instead being twisted into feigned, casual interest. losing the cloak of deep devotion that you held for a friend of ten years.

"oh - hey! nothing," gojo replied, too quickly, with that half-cocked smile that painted over his pink lips, "nothing that deep."

lately, this repeated lie had been hanging in the air between you, clear as the last streaks of summer sunlight that would soon give way to fall.

you crossed your arms over your uniform, dark fabric crinkling, "you're not fooling anyone, you know. geto told me about the mission, he said that you —," you swallowed, with the words just as heavy as the steadfast beat of your heart that you kept under lock and key, "he said you shouldn't have come back. what does that even mean?"

gojo's face flickered again, just for a second, before he barked out that irritating, false chuckle, "guess it's a good thing you weren't sent on tengen's fuckin' mission then," before reaching out and snatching your strawberry milk carton from your hands with a grin.

after a few punctuated slurps and lip-smacking (just to watch your face redden in fury, gojo would admit) he spoke again, voice strained, "you'd probably be crying about it still."

"hey!" you protested, grabbing for the carton again, prying his slender fingers off your sweet treat, "i don't cry that easily."

"could've fooled me. you cried during that american movie about zoo animals."

"madagascar was a sad movie about displacement and the loss of home! i know animal rights activists hate to see your ass coming to the zoo."

gojo snickered, drawing out the words, "fuck that zebra," but now, he was looking off into the golden haze of a beautiful sunset, with that frayed grin, "seriously, though. it's fine, it's all in the past."

over time, gojo never spoke many a word about what happened to the star plasma vessel, but he just seemed to move forward, like he always had. his resolve somehow sharper, tighter, and his laughter more intense when it finally did return. there were moments when you'd catch him staring into the great expanse of nothing, haunted (but beautiful), though he'd just shrug and smile when you prodded him about.

✉️ — 2007. 💬 — gojo.

gojo thought he was astoundingly self-aware, in his own humble opinion. he never let anything get to him, that was the trick, you see. to take life as it came at you, to carry that fire and stubbornness and throw it back in the face of the trouble.

and so he wanted to be angry, to be furious. why had suguru done this? why?

he had known that geto, one of his dearest friends (one who always been so sure of himself) had fallen into disquiet lately, and even gojo had prodded him on whether he had lost weight through sleepless nights. but suguru would have just turned his head back to his book, lost in thought, with his dark hair loose around his face.

had he been blind? how had suguru's silence been covered by what gojo (privately) considered his own loud, defiant return? no, he knew of ghosts. he knew that some spirits and spectres could not be shaken, and sometimes when gojo himself closed his eyes, he could feel the sharp sting of an assassin's blade ramming through his throat, leaving him for dead.

but to murder over a hundred innocent people...

you had found him alone that evening, where he had sprawled over the stairs as the sunset blazed, painting them aglow in dusky hues. but gojo could barely notice any of this beauty, and so he just stared, lost in his thoughts that wouldn't settle.

(are you the strongest because you're satoru gojo? or are you satoru gojo because you're the strongest?)

he didn't hear you approach, until you placed a gentle hand on his shoulders, causing him to flinch, surprised out of his sorrowful reverie.

the warmth of your touch steadied him, and he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, and he wondered how you could always seem to know exactly when he needed you most.

but the thought twisted, sharp and bitter, for what if you would follow suguru the same way? had you not often looked at geto with light in your eyes? and you had never looked at him like that.

what if, someday, you left him the same way? what if you turned around and saw someone else worth following? he couldn't help his fists from clenching, tension rippling down his shoulders and painfully gripping his head.

"suguru..." his voice came out quieter than he meant, with a crack that he couldn't quite hide, and he heard you sharply inhale, "i can't believe he's gone. i don't know if...if i'll ever see him again. why would he -?"

you still didn't say anything, just tightening your hand on his shoulder. and satoru hated it. hated that he wanted to lean into the weight of your touch, hated that this is what being the strongest now entailed. that now he was plagued by fear, of losing you, of watching you slip through his fingers into another's orbit.

i'm only seventeen. what happened to my youth?

the thoughts are acidic, cynical and they leave him angry (with the world, with the higher ups, with himself, with his parents) and he can't help himself from blurting out the next question.

"did you like him?"

gojo tries to keep his tone light and casual, but he loathes how he sounds pleading, heavier. he feels the embarrassment of vulnerability shroud him as you meet his eyes, and he hates how your eyes are teary too.

you shouldn't cry. ever.

"like? as in like?"

"as in love," gojo mutters, "shoko said you did."

you sniff, and now your head is leaning on his shoulder and he can inhale the scent of your shampoo (apples? caramel?) and despite the crick in his neck, he lowers his shoulder further down so you are more comfortable.

"shoko talks too much sometimes," you laugh weakly, "but probably. i think i did."

gojo tries to tamper down the acrid lurch in his stomach, but you continue, "i think i did love him. but so did shoko. so did nanami, and haibara back when, -" you sigh, "and so did you. we all loved him. he was our friend."

his fingers had been hovering close to your hand for a while, almost as if he couldn't help himself, the pull. finally, he slid his smallest finger to let it curl around yours, drawing out a memory from over a decade ago.

"tell you what, when i become my clan head, i'll make sure you get the nicest robes, how's that?" "promise?" "why not?"

how silly that the hardest things in life had once been a bored child, and his new friend who fretted about her future wardrobe.

and when you clasped in hand entirely in its return, gojo's breath caught, his throat tightening. the words that he wanted to say, to spill from his throat, hovered in his mind but there was no infinite word strong enough to bring them out.

he wasn't an idiot, he wasn't daft and unobservant, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to you, to tell you from his lips to yours. but the way his heart laid itself bare in that moment unsettled him deeply, not the yearning itself, but how fierce it was. it disgusted him, the rawness of his desire, exposed right there in the open, where anyone could see it, including you. especially you.

with a realisation that was long coming, beneath the golden wash of the setting sun, he sighed deeply. if he ever lost you, if you ever looked at him with the same betrayal that he'd seen in suguru's eyes, he didn't know if he could survive it. it would cut deeper than his infinity could bear.

he tried speaking again, "if you ever -" but he doesn't get the chance to speak before you're leaning further into him, a quiet sniffle punctuating the silence.

"i won't."

✉️ — the next decade... 💬 — you.

"sweetheart, honey, my precious pumpkin pie."

you shot gojo a death glare, his attempt at flamboyant charm bouncing right off you, "i hate you. never speak to me again."

and your gaze dropped to what was left of your beautiful hermès scarf, once a beautiful concoction of cream-white silk, now reduced to tatters that fluttered pitifully in your hands, stained with some suspicious green goop.

you had cherished this pricey product, but gojo, in his infinite wisdom had decided to pick it up as a perfect blindfold right before a gnarly mission. and so, it got tangled with a nasty curse, and met its tragic, shredded end.

gojo raised his brows, feigning the innocence of a cherub, blinking his long lashes, "i'm sorry, i'll get you a new one, baby."

he drew out the pet name with exaggerated gusto that made you snarl, "enough with the pet names. you are a grown ass man."

and you gave him a first shove in the ribs that made the strongest sorcerer in the world stagger dramatically, only to catch himself with that easy grin still plastered on his face.

but before you could storm off and mourn whatever was left of your one-million yen possession, gojo darted in front of you, blocking your path with his ridiculously long arms. "come on, let me make it up to you, what if i had died on that mission?" he pleaded, looking at you with mock sincerity.

"i wouldn't have even come to the funeral," you sniffed, sticking your nose in the air, ignoring the fake choking sounds that came from the man as he clutched his chest.

months had turned into years, where you and gojo had grown up and graduated jujutsu tech together, carrying triumphs (you won valedictorian, out of a grand total of eight students), losses (gojo was a notoriously bad driver and almost crashed the car that the two of you were in) and countless moments in between.

the two of you had returned to your alma mater as teachers, and mentors, guiding younger sorcerers who were much like you'd once been; eager, impatient, and a little rough around the edges.

gojo took to teaching like he did most things, with his own reckless charm and devil-may-care attitude. he'd joke about skipping staff meetings, but he'd be there anyway, leaning back in his chair with his legs sprawled underneath him, mouthing snarky comments that only you could hear.

you'd like to think you'd grown more confident, no longer the uncertain teenager who used to glance at herself twice in the mirror. time had given you the chance to learn your strengths, and exorcising curses had left you all the more enduring.

gojo had noticed, though he'd never say it outright. he'd make some teasing comment about the way you would boss around a room, and you'd roll your eyes as you nudged him telling him that you had learnt from the biggest ego in tokyo. but sometimes, he'd watch you a little longer than he should, with that flicker in his gaze that he thought you hadn't noticed.

some things hadn't changed at all, and he still came back to you after every mission, every right. you'd hear him shuffling in from down the hall, his paper bags of desserts swinging as he tried to balance it along with his jacket, and whatever ridiculous trinket he'd picked up for you that week (you kept every single one).

and there the two of you would be, sitting cross-legged on your apartment floor, sharing sweets straight out of the boxes. he'd pass you a slice of cheesecake that he insisted that you simply must try, nudging your hand until your fingers enveloped his.

wouldn't it be a lie to claim that you didn't bask in the warmth of your best friend's gaze, even as he feigned interest in some story that he had overhead from the students on his way over from the school, with his low laughter filling the quiet around you.

sometimes, in the silence that would fall after the conversation ebbed, he’d reach over and trace circles absentmindedly on the back of your hand with his thumb, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. neither of you would move or speak. gojo would be looking anywhere but at you, yet his hand wouldn’t let go, tethering you to him in a way that made the apartment feel smaller — almost as if you’d already crossed some line neither of you dared to talk about.

what a pain to be haunted by someone who was already living and breathing right in front of you. sometimes, it left you nauseous, ill, and even screaming into your pillow after he left, and dialing shoko's number so she could give you an earful.

✉️ — october, 2018 💬 — you.

your car idled at the curb, the sounds of the city filtering in through the barely open window, with the faint chill of the october night brushing against your skin.

gojo looked up from his phone, tapping his fingers on the screen, and there was a sober look on his face that made your stomach twist. you watched as he ran his head through his white hair, and sighed, his eyes still on the screen.

"apparently i was summoned by name," he said quietly, "to shibuya. whatever curtain's been set up is only allowing sorcerers through."

you kept one hand on the wheel, "ijichi reached out to me too, but he wants me covering the perimeter on the other side, away from the metro. but who would summon you by name?"

"i know. do you think it's...?"

"the traitor everyone's guessing about? who else?"

gojo scoffed a little, "fuckin' surprise," he muttered, casting you a glance that spoke volumes of protectiveness, one that made you lurch ever so slightly. his eyes met yours, an unspoken worry passing between you. you bit the inside of your lip to keep yourself from blurting out the words that lived in the forefront of your mind.

and so, gojo reached for the door handle, and you saw him hesitate as his fingers drummed against the door, before pulling his blindfold up, "well, stay safe, yeah?"

you swallowed, trying to find some false platitude to offer back, "hey, i will if you will."

he gave a short laugh that must have not fully reached his eyes, but it softened the rest of his beautiful face in that way that you loved, "y'know, we could have been going trick-or-treating. dressed like idiots, stuffing our face with candy."

"tweedledee and tweedledum?"

gojo snorted, "next year then."

you hummed, "i'll keep that idea then, tweedledumb."

the bow of his lips quirked, and he looked away again before pushing himself out of the car, stepping out onto the suddenly cold, quiet sidewalk (too quiet, where was everyone?)

he paused, turning back to you through the window, as he lifted his hand up in a small wave, and you could tell he wanted to say something else — but the moment passed, and he closed his mouth, smiling instead in that way of his that said everything without a single word. and he pushed his hands back into his pocket, strolling away as you sat there, suddenly ever so lonely in your silent car, as chills went down your spine.

✉️ — october, 2018 💬 — you.

"gojo satoru has been sealed."

what the fuck?

the world has slowed down, every sound muffled as if you'd been submerged underwater. shibuya had left gojo sealed in the prison realm by...no. it couldn't be.

suguru geto was dead. dead, executed. had it not been almost a year? you had mourned, gojo had grieved. and yet, the impossible had clawed its way into reality, leaving you feeling like you were teetering on the edge of something dark and unknowable.

soon the shock twisted into dread, an icy grip that clenched tight around your chest, left the blood draining from your face. god, your hair must just turn as white as his from the stress alone. your best friend, the one who had been beside you in sickness and health.

it was cruel, you thought, to not even be allowed the time to fall apart, now now. there was little space for it in the chaos that had erupted the next day, when waves of curses crashed through the city like nothing you had ever seen. what fresh hell was this, you wondered as you nursed a nasty set of wounds, trailing after (tormented, sweet, far too young) itadori yuji, and his supposed older brother, some blood manipulation user that had done his fair share of damage throughout the night.

the culling games.

the brutality of it shocked you, and several times during the upcoming days, you had to blink back hot tears as sorcerers were summoned, drafted, and thrown into what was quickly a gladiator spectacle, some devilry concocted from geto's, no, kenjaku's mind. and the stakes were not just your own survival, but the students you had mentored — the young souls who had grown under your watch, and needed you now more than ever.

it quickly cost you an eye. a clash with a fierce, blood-thirsty wayward sorcerer had left you bloody and bruised with a clean gash that ran through your right eye, and you had screamed, taken a life even. only the baritone, dulcet tone of the yuji's half-curse brother (choso? a member of the kamo clan? since when did half-curses even exist?) had pulled you away from launching the contents of your stomach over the pavement, as you stared at the crimson dripping off your hands. were you supposed to be grateful that you had survived this, when so many others had not? yuji's tears had kept you awake in the night, his sobs when he thought that no-one could hear him.

gojo's absence had become a wound, raw, with a side of constant ache that you could feel with every waking heartbeat. and so you tried to fight hard with his voice echoing in your ears, remembering the half-smile he'd flash when you'd land a difficult hit, or the grateful look in his eyes knowing that his students were safe.

days blurred together, and nights bled into ceaseless combat, of the terror of being on the run, and still gojo was with you. the thought of finding him, the thought of him being unsealed from the prison realm almost had you blurting false, desparate promises to the sky that you would tell him exactly what you felt for him, bare your heart out in its entirety for him to hold in his hands.

like it had always been.

✉️ — november, 2018 💬 — you.

it was surreal seeing him again, unsealed and standing there against the burnt umber of the sky, rough around the edges but undeniably gojo. nineteen days of living with the ache of his absence, of waking every morning with a hollow flower blooming in your chest, he was here — alive, breathing, real.

but god, it had been so beautiful to meet his blue gaze once more, and that fleeting smile cross his face before he rushed to pull you into his arms, closing the distance and pulling you into his arms with a new strength that almost lifted you off your feet. and if you closed your eye, you could pretend that nothing had happened, nothing at all. that it was just you pressed against the warm, beating heart in gojo's chest, unrestrained and fierce as thick arms pulled you close, filling your senses with smoke, and earth, and long-spilt blood.

"don't you look eye catching?"

you huffed and leaned away from him, slamming your fist on hard muscle in exasperation, but if you hadn't turned your gaze away, you would have seen gojo's eyes twitch as he took in your battle-worn appearance, the scar that ran underneath bandages where an eye would have once been. if you had paid more attention, you would have heard his intake of breath as he ran his tongue behind his teeth, with a vow, a promise.

"guess who's going to kick sukuna's ass so far back to the heian era," gojo murmured, and you let out a shaky laugh that echoes all the way down to the marrows of your bones.

"yeah, i thought you were just all talk."

"i'm still alive, aren't i?" he shot back, cocky and boyish once more, and your eyes traced over him, drinking in every small change, the sharper clench in his jaw, the tautness in his frame, the way his shoulders seemed broader, like he had been carved up in the prison realm anew. and it leaves you melancholic.

in another universe, the two of you were still young, hand in hand underneath the blue sky as the cool breeze ran through your hair. but battles had turned to war, and the night had no time for what ifs.

"hey, don't go worrying about me," gojo murmured, almost as though he had caught the shadow in your heart, and he plastered a grin on his face, stretching his toned arms in some show of nonchalance, but his gaze lingered on the ruins too long, on the mottled group of assembled sorcerers who seemed to brim with new-found confidence at his return.

and when he finally looked back at you with a new dullness in your eyes, a heaviness you hadn't seen in a long time. it left a dead weight in your chest, but you forced yourself to return his own bland smile, playing along with the front he was trying to maintain, "well, i guess i'll have to keep you out of trouble from now on."

✉️ — november-december, 2018 💬 — you.

the month began to stretch and pass in a blur on the endless horizon, complete with the aching and unbearable waiting where you knew something was going to happen, and yet you did not know when and where. shoko had forgone her own exhausation to see to the rest of the wounds, the ones that had festered under bandages and grimes, leaving faint trails over your skin but she had shaken her head sadly when it came to the socket on your face, even she could not restore an eye.

gojo had swapped his suits and jackets for loose martial pants, and a tight black top that had clung to the muscular frame that he'd honed over the years, laughing off your concerns like they were nothing more than passing clouds.

"don't fret," he'd say, "how bad could this be? you know i told yuji once that even if sukuna was at his full power, i'd still wipe the floor with him. you believe me right?"

you weren't sure if his question was cocky, or a plea, and the fatigue had caused you to snap, "and now, yuji flinches when he hears loud sounds, and he's just another kid who can't fuckin' stop wringing his hands in blood! look what you've done to him!"

gojo's eyes had twitched afterwards, the corner of his mouth pulling down, but he hadn't gotten angry. and you hated it. you hated it all.

but you had wanted to believe in him, in his optimism. you wanted to let his smooth words settle into your bones like the warm comfort they should have been. but how could you feel at ease when everyone was now playing a role? each sorcerer in this building was feigning whatever mask or persona that they had painted and drawn across their face, just as you had. just as gojo did.

but nothing was the same anymore.

and neither were you.

the loss of your eye, the streaks of scars on your skin haunted you. it felt cowardly to say, but this was not the life you should have lived. you simply just didn't see yourself as strong enough, and your eyes watered thinking about the days when you dallied under a clear sky, skirts swaying along the grass as you trailed after your best friend, catching fireflies, exploring shrines, falling to the earth in child-like innocence.

the hollow space on your face, the empty socket served as a reminder of what you had survived, of the world that had fallen into pieces. was there anyone here who would recognise themselves in the mirror anymore?

some nights, the world felt impossibly still, and you would sit at the window and press your hands to the cold of the glass as you watched a scarred city sprawl ahead of you.

you didn't turn at the sound of footsteps at first, and you sat there, with your fingers still dancing on the edge of the window. you closed your eyes as you felt him approach, close, but not enough — you wished he would sit by you, press his soft head to your own, close enough for you to hold him in your hands, curl into his skin.

"satoru, can you make another promise?"

gojo's steps had paused, just a breath but it was enough to know that you had his attention. but when he spoke, "please tell me we're not doing theatrics right now," his voice was laced with that same dismissive edge that he always used when he was trying to push the truth far away.

"can't you shut up, just once? promise me you won't let sukuna kill you, i can't even imagine -" and how irritating, and how melancholic (fuck, this was like a bad soap opera) that your throat was already tightening, your voice wavering with tears that you had been holding back for weeks.

for a moment, gojo didn't respond, and he just stood there and you needn't have turned around to know that there was no trace of laughter nor joy on his face. no easy smirk to deflect the gravity of your well-founded fears. and the silence left you cold.

for the first time, you were suddenly hoping that he might say something blasé, to tell you to stop worrying, to brush it off and just reassure you. but he didn't, he was quiet.

and so you turned to face him, and you felt almost villainous for verbalising your future grief like this, to one who must already have carried such an eternal, heavy burden.

no longer did the blue of his eyes shine like a spring sky, with feather-like clouds that danced in his iris. now, there was only a fractured storm. and god, you loathed that for the first time in what must have been years, his own face was reddening, his eyes suddenly teary, clouds gathering torrential rain.

you knew he hated being seen like this. over a decade of holding him close to your heart had made you privy to his ways, to the way that he'd furiously rub at his face when upset, as if he could will the distress away and hide his tears.

gojo had outstretched his little finger towards you now, hooking it with your own, and your heart stuttered as he brought your finger to his lips, so quick that a ghost may have brushed your skin, with the seal of a promise.

"i will try. god, i swear, i...i promise, i will try." and you knew that gojo satoru was scared, terrified even of what december 24th would bring.

"i -"

you wanted to say it all, wanted to tell him everything. but the words stuck in your throat, love and want and need and ferocious, capricious grief all sat lodged within your beating heart that was so tightly bound in iron chains.

it was a shameful thing. you should have sat there, and comforted him instead. should have told him that it was alright, and you did not know a more powerful and capable sorcerer than he, that he'd leave sukuna in ashes. should have laid your hand on his brow to soothe the lines away from his pale, streaked face.

but you had always been selfish, held onto your heart like a being of folklore, guarded and self-assuming. you wept heart-aching tears, feeling them pool in your sleeves, and run hot salt trails over your lips. maybe it was a testament to how much gojo satoru loved you too, that he could not bear to see you in such grief, and he hesitated.

then he turned to leave you by the window.

✉️ — december 24, 2018 💬 — you.

the turn of the year felt cold, far too chilly, even though the night was still young. the city lights twinkled in solitary clumps outside, but they were just as dim as the heavy weight in your chest. the walls seemed to close in as gojo prepared to leave, to face sukuna — the king of curses. and you couldn't shake the feeling that something was slipping through your fingers, something that you would never be able to grasp again, no matter how tightly you gripped.

everyone had wished him luck, calling your their bravest words of encouragement as he walked past them, their voices echoing through the hall, as they slapped him on the back.

they all cheered the same platitudes.

"go fuck sukuna up!"

"language!"

"sorry, choso."

"show him what you're made of!"

"prove that you're not just a pretty face, gojo!"

and so you had plastered the same smile on your face, hoping that it would reach your eyes as gojo winked at you, "hey, before you start telling me off, now it's your turn to promise me something."

you had cocked your head up at him, ignoring shoko's narrowed, tired eyes, "yeah?"

"mhm," satoru nodded, pulling his arms around you, "after this, after all this bullshit, we get to take a vacation."

a barked laugh escaped you, before it collapsed into a giggle, "you want paid leave? that's all it is?"

your best friend's large hands gripped you, flat against your back, "yeah, that's all there is. we're gonna go take a holiday, sit by the beach, watch the ocean. keep it simple."

"a picnic too, eh?"

gojo nodded, humming, "we'll plan everything. about time we got to take a break. i'll be back before you even know it."

you felt his voice hitch against your ear, and your heart twisted painfully in response, he wasn't saying it but you both knew the cold truth, there was a real chance that he may never come back. before your vision could blur, you pressed his lips to his cheek, letting them linger for a moment on smooth skin (and you felt his arms tighten around you) and hoped that whatever you hoped to say, whatever spine you lacked, could be expressed so swiftly.

"come back then, please. i'll be ready." you whispered between his skin and your lips, the tremble leaving no space for air in your lungs.

for a moment, he didn't answer, just held you, and you tried to focus on the feeling of his chest rising and falling in slow, measured breaths. then, just as you were about to pull away, he spoke, the words falling from his mouth, so familiar and so effortless.

"of course i will. i always do."

there was a flicker of something raw there in his eyes, and you had seen it both before and after shibuya. his lips parted as if he were about to say something, but whatever it was, it never came. instead, he just nodded, a silent promise — unspoken, but felt deep in your bones.

without another word, he turned toward the door. and just before stepping out, he looked back one last time. that smile, that arrogant, confident smile that always made your heart race —i t was there, but it wasn’t the same. it was stretched thin, fragile. his blue eyes were tired, haunted, and for a moment, you saw the truth — the part of him he always kept hidden. the fear. the doubt.

"i'll be back," he repeated, but this time, it didn’t sound like a joke. it sounded like a prayer. a desperate, half-broken promise from the closest thing that the world had to a god.

you couldn’t speak. your heart was lodged in your throat, and the words that you needed to say just wouldn’t come. you wanted to tell him that you loved him, that you always had, that you were scared to lose him, that the world without him in it felt like a hollow echo of what it could be. but you couldn’t.

instead, you just nodded, your face a mask of emotions you couldn’t express.

and then, with one final look, a look that held everything neither of you had the courage to say — he stepped out into the cold, his footsteps fading into the distance.

✉️ — december 24, 2018 💬 — you.

gojo satoru was dead.

dead. killed.

for a moment, you stood frozen in the doorway of shoko's office, numbness seeping into your bones with a furious grief as you stared at the cold, unmoving form that was once satoru.

fuck, there was bile in your throat as a once lively boy now lay in four pieces, cleanly sliced by sukuna's unforgiving technique, and the sight was a nightmare made so real, something that you just couldn't reconcile with the man who had once been so vibrantly alive.

the warmth that had always clung to him had vanished, leaving his skin pale in the grasp of rigor mortis, and his lips were still flecked with dried blood that had painted a stark contrast against his stiff skin.

and his eyes, those striking blue eyes that used to glint with love and hope and dreams, were now dull, and still open. you had not the heart to close them, for once your hand pulled his eyelids down, you would never see them again, never look into his eyes until it was your time to pass from the circles of the world.

the last thing you’d seen of him had been that cocky grin, that wink that seemed so unbreakable, that laugh that lingered even as he left your embrace. he’d held you, promised you that he would come back, but now, as you stood there, that promise felt like a cruel lie, something that should’ve warned you but instead gave you nothing but hope.

you choked on a breath, your hand coming up to your mouth as you felt the weight of your unspoken words sink down like lead. i should have told him. you’d wanted to say it all, to let him know how much he meant to you, to tell him that he was your everything. but the words had died in your throat, held back by fear, by the delusion that there’d always be another chance, that he’d always come back.

you’d believed him. you’d believed, with every part of yourself, that he’d make it out alive.

but here he was, torn apart, the last shreds of life stolen from him by the king of curses. you had seen him being cut down, like a sheaf of wheat under a god's sickle, how sudden and gut wrenching it had been, and for the second time in a month, you had been on the edge of hurling onto the stone. but this time, the half-curse beside you, choso, hadn't stopped you from losing the contents of your stomach, as instead he had pressed his younger brother's cries to his broad chest, the grief swallowing the entire room.

gojo hadn’t been given the chance to fight back, hadn’t even been able to draw a breath before he’d been torn apart. and that final thought — that he’d been caught off guard, helpless, alone in his last moments — left you feeling shattered, grief clawing at you with merciless hands.

your knees felt weak as you moved toward him, your trembling fingers reaching out to touch his face, cold and unyielding beneath your hand. you traced the lines of his face, memorising every detail, as if somehow, through touch alone, you could keep a piece of him with you. a tear slipped down your cheek, landing on his lips, lips that had once murmured promises, had brushed against your skin in fleeting, unspoken moments. the tear brought moisture once more to the blood that splattered his face, but quickly, it disappeared, drying and taking away any life.

"i should’ve told you,” you whispered, your voice broken, raw, laced with the pain of regret, "i don't know if you ever knew how much i loved you."

you closed your eyes, the silence thickening around you, pressing down until it felt like you couldn’t breathe. your mind replayed every smile, every laugh, every word he’d ever spoken to you, each memory twisting the knife of grief deeper into your chest. the emptiness of the room swallowed you whole, and all that was left was the aching, unbearable reality that he was gone — that the man who had been your best friend, your confidant, your everything, was nothing more than a memory now.

you stayed there, your hand resting on his cold cheek, as if the warmth of your touch could somehow reach him, bring him back. but he was gone, and with him, he’d taken the words you’d never been able to say, the love you’d never been able to give.

and as the silence closed in around you, suffocating and absolute, you knew that part of you had died with him.

✉️ — not so long later. 💬 — you. it could only be you now, for you are the only one left.

the sun was beginning to set as you reached the shore, casting an amber glow over the ocean. the waves lapped quietly against the sand, as a gentle roll becoming a reminder that the world was still moving, even when the battles were done.

even though everything within you felt like it had come to a standstill. you clutched a folded piece of glossy card, and a box. two things that shoko said she found on him, things that she thought you should keep, she added quietly.

and so, you sat down on the sand, letting the evening wind sweep over you as you gazed out at the endless stretch of water. the ocean had always been something you had dreamed of seeing together, an endless horizon that was wild and untameable, just like gojo satoru had been. but he was gone, gone, and that promise would forever remain unkept.

you opened the folded glossy card, wincing as you tried not to press the faded creases further, brushing over the faded edges. it was dated to the fall of 2005, and you bit your lip as you saw your own image stare back at you. when the world had felt endless, and you had two wide eyes to see it with. there you were, that day in the market, laughing in the photo with your head thrown back sweetly, and you wetly laughed as you saw geto suguru's confused expression in the background, clearly exasperated with gojo's photography skills.

a choked sob escaped you as you traced your smile in the photo, so oblivious to what would come. you’d been so happy then, wrapped in a moment that had felt simple and whole. gojo had teased you relentlessly that day, snapping photos every chance he got, and you’d thought he was just being his usual, silly self. you’d never realised he’d kept this one one, never knew it meant enough for him to carry it all this time.

with a shaking hand, you opened the box, revealing the ring nestled inside. fuck.

it was beautiful, impossibly beautiful, as if he’d carefully chosen each detail with you in mind. the diamond glistened in the fading light, flecked with small blue stones that reminded you of his eyes, the eyes that used to light up every time he looked at you. this ring was supposed to be a promise, just as the ones you made when you locked little fingers — a promise he never got the chance to make, a life together that you’d both been too afraid to admit you wanted.

the first tear fell, splashing onto the sand below, followed by another, and then another, until you were trembling, the grief tearing out of you in waves, raw and unstoppable. you held the ring to your chest, clutching it as if somehow, by holding it close, you could feel him, hear his laughter, feel the warmth of his arms around you. you could almost hear his voice on the wind, that playful edge mixed with tenderness as he called you by one of his ridiculous pet names. Sweetheart, honey, my pumpkin pie, followed by your irritated huff telling him to drop those names.

but truly, here was nothing. just the sound of the waves, relentless and indifferent, echoing the hollow ache in your chest.

the what-ifs clawed at you, memories replaying over and over in your mind: moments when you’d almost reached for him, almost whispered the words, almost let your heart break free. but each time, you’d held back, too afraid to disrupt the delicate balance between you, too certain there’d be another day. but now, those moments were gone, scattered like dust in the wind, and the weight of those unsaid words felt unbearable.

you pressed the photograph to your lips, closing your eyes as if you could summon him back, if only for a moment. but when you opened your eyes, all that greeted you was the empty horizon, stretching out into nothingness.

"i love you,” you murmured, voice broken, barely more than a whisper. "i love you. i always loved you."

the words hung in the air, unheard, unanswered. it was too late, too late for confessions, too late for promises. the life you’d wanted with him, the life he’d carried in his pocket with a ring and a photograph, was gone, lost to the cruel twist of fate that had taken him from you.

you stayed there on the sand as the sky darkened, the weight of his absence pressing down on you like a storm. the wind whipped around you, cold and biting, and you shivered, clutching his ring, his memory, as if that alone could keep you grounded.

as night fell, the stars began to appear, dotting the sky with fragile points of light, distant and unreachable. and you sat there, letting the grief wash over you, lost in the silent, aching expanse of the ocean and the memories of a love that would remain forever unspoken, forever unfulfilled.

wasn't love the greatest curse of them all?

[nicoscheer]

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Do you want to discover what bands @mileskane listens to while ironing his shirts? Then listen to this episode of the music podcast @kendedital with the nicest and funniest guy in the music business!

We had a blast! 🫶����

-

"I'm willing to play anywhere. Even now, if I were offered a gig at the pub across the street, l'd take it. I simply love playing. If you asked, I'd play right this moment. I just love playing, I'm not arsed. It's what it's all about." X

-

Miles when being asked about AM’s new sound:

mk: "you gotta respect it, you know, like, that's me bro, i'm always gonna have his back, you know what i mean? yeah and i respect for a big band to follow their gut. that's what al does and you gotta respect it whether you like it or not. it's kind of what all great artists do."

interviewer: "like it's cool that you kinda... you want to fucking do it so you do

mk: "yeah, man, that's me boy. if he wants to sing french or sing nigerian, i'm gonna have his back, you know what i mean?"

-

🫶🏽🫶🏽🥹🥹🥺my boys

Like I hate it that he’s always asked bout AM and TLSP cause he’s promotion his solo tour but this is 😘

So you’re telling me they are literally promoting Miles and Liam djing with a Tlsp pic 😭😭🫠🥺

Imagine if Alex were you just casually show up behind that DJ booth

with his bosom friend Alex Turner

At Crammerock we saw him strolling backstage. We decided to put on our naughty shoes and ask him. He turned out to be very amable and he was immediately enthusiastic about our concept,

So, you set out on your own

You shut up shop, you're leavin' home

You feel no need to settle down

In the crippled crook of your earth bound town

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower

There must be somethin' more than this

More than ideal homes or domestic bliss

What is there left for you to do

'Cause you've seen the future and it's nothin' new

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower, should be lower

And you've been down this road before

Which is not to say you're bored

Or that you shouldn't want for more

It's just your expectations should be lower, should be lower

Apparently wasn’t happy with the text placement so had to repost it 🤣🤣🥹

His eyebrow slit and bear looking fucking clean

Also I hate everybody who lives close to Gent or Sheffield

Miles last night with chef Tom brown and Jay Forrester at the opening of Tom’s new oyster bar (pearly queen shoreditch/ where Tom and friends repeatedly posted that the logo outside is the new bat signal 🤨y’know like miles guitarist said that the mirrorball is their bat signal) (also the fact that Tom reposted the pic of them via puppetspaces ig)

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The pictures of Miles with Tom and Jay

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A post shared by Miles Kane (@mileskane)

So proud of him selling out within less than two hours

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A post shared by SushiSushi ltd (@sushisushi_uk)

Miles helping Tom with taste testing

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A post shared by Cuttlebrook Knives (@cuttlebrookknives)

I love that as soon Chef Tom Brown is involved everybody starts using Miles’ music; here a custom knife made for TB using troubled son

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A post shared by Pearly Queen (@pearlyqueenshoreditch)

A nice recap of the opening night, the way Miles disappears in that hug with Tom is 🥹🥹🥹

[ham1lton]

i’m with the band.

pairing(s): lando norris x singer!reader

warnings: v slightly angsty? but happy ending.

summary: pop band CHANGE! has just released their anticipated third album; however, fans notice that the songs seem to tell an unsavoury story….

author's note: i didn’t know whether u wanted me to do a happy song or sad but i like drama. i refer to y/n’s bandmates by their roles. so guitarist, bassist and drummer so you can add their names in! also this album is loosely based on SAWAYAMA and 5sos’s album youngblood. listen to them both if u haven’t!! incredible albums. if you can name all these songs that have been mentioned then MWAH!!! 😍

————————————————————————

liked by harrystyles, landonorris and 3,388,728 others.

changeband: thank you so much to the best, coolest and awesomest fans in the fucking planet. shoutout to everyone who showed up to our listening party in philly last week! you were metal as hell and we loved meeting everyone of you. no more fomo for the rest of you all now that our newest album is now out! please stream and buy and recommend to your friends and family and colleagues and even that annoying neighbour that everyone hates. we love you and we love this album!! here are some behind the scenes pics of us making and brainstorming this baby!

view all 288,938 comments

user1: this album is sooo good!

user2: ooh y/n got her masters in cuntology with a concentration in motherlogical studies from the university of servington… that NOTE in dynasty??? oh goddddd.

-> user4: DYNAAAASSSSTTTTYYYY 🗣️🔊

user3: the casual photo dump like they haven’t released the album of the CENTURY?

user8: you guys have come such a far way from working minimum wage and having to pool money for a recording booth omg. i’m so proud of you guys 🥺

*liked by changeband.*

user5: the way guitarist is eating this album. whoever greenlit her guitar solos i want to kiss them on the mouth.

user28: bad friend is my fav! both the acoustic vers and the normal vers!! PUT UR HANDS UP IF UR NOT GOOD AT THIS STUFF!!!! 😍😍

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liked by messyass1, messyass2 and 278,727 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: girl band CHANGE! have released their new album ‘babylon’ and it has sent twitter in flames after the first tweet (pictured above) went viral. especially after the songs ‘lie to me’ and ‘want u back’ both contain lyrics that have sent fans of the power couple lando norris and y/n l/n spiralling. what do you all think of the drama ham1ltons?

view all 20,783 comments

user1: i do think it’s slightly suspicious… not necessarily a break up confirmation but it’s interesting. especially as she didn’t even bother to confirm or deny whether or not they’re still together on jimmy fallon….

user2: why do we speculate into these celebs lives? if they broke up, who cares and if they’re together… who cares?

hater1: who gives a fuck. she can’t even sing.

-> user3: you clearly gaf if you’re commenting under y/n related posts???

loveislanduk: don’t worry y/n! if need be, you can always find a new man on the island!

-> user98: messy asf 😭

user6: is tkl supposed to be y/n talking about how lando was super adored and that although he could have any girl, she’d be the only one who really loved him?

-> user4: tokyo love hotel is a homage to drummer’s japanese heritage not a lando worship song?? also it’s a metaphor for their heritages as three of them are women of colour who grew up in the west and saw their cultures exoticised.

-> user6: ‘yeah your fascination is my world’. that could be interpreted as her saying ‘your obsession is my boyfriend’.

-> user4: girl yeah but that’d be a lazy one would it not? lando ain’t that special 😭 i think that it’s reductionist to make everything she writes about a man and not her.

user44: calling the album babylon after the bible story? maybe they started with the idea of creating this amazing relationship and then grew apart? they stopped speaking each other’s language?

-> user56: maybe you need to put this energy into analysing your resume and figuring out why you’re still unemployed….

user65: idc if she broke up with that troll because that’d mean drummery/n will thrive!!

-> user9: um… u mean guitaristy/n??

-> user34: both wrong. bassisty/n is the best version!!!

————————————————————————

CHANGE’S INTERVIEW W/ JIMMY FALLON (transcript)

JIMMY FALLON: welcome, everyone! we have a special treat for you tonight. please give it up for the current leaders of the world charts, the incredible band CHANGE!"

(audience applause as the girls take their seats)

FALLON: alright, alright! now, there have been some rumours swirling around about your latest album and its connection to some personal matters. especially in regards to y/n. care to shed some light on that?

Y/N: well, jimmy, first of all, thank you for having us. i’m aware that there have been some rumours, but you know how it is. people love to speculate. our music is definitely personal, and yeah, it does reflect some of what's been going on in my life but i want to set the record straight. the songs on our album are inspired by a variety of our experiences, including relationships, but they're not always directly about any specific individuals. sometimes i’m inspired by other forms of media or my loved ones’ experiences. that’s the joy of making art, it can be whatever you want it to be.

DRUMMER: yeah, and y/n is such a talented songwriter. she has this incredible ability to channel her emotions into our music and make you feel whatever she wants.

BASSIST: exactly. we're just here to make music that connects with people, and if our songs happen to resonate with someone going through a breakup? then we've done our job. that doesn’t mean we’ve necessarily gone through that.

FALLON: is it true that you’re performing two songs for us tonight? can you confirm which ones?

GUITARIST: yes! we’re performing ‘want u back’ and ‘frankenstein’. both of our newest singles from babylon.

FALLON: well, you heard them, folks! get ready for an amazing performance from CHANGE!

————————————————————————

————————————————————————

liked by bassist, guitarist and 1,272,973 others.

yourusername: we’re fine y’all perfectly fine please don’t call paw patrol.

view all 68,928 comments

user1: OH THANK GOD.

landonorris: she’s lying. i’m in my lemonade era…🍋

-> user23: you wish you could be that iconic. you’re in your dogwater era.

-> landonorris: UNPROVOKED???

user3: we needed this confirmation.

user8: PARENTS AREN’T DIVORCED WE WON 🙌

landonorris: now can you release the bonus tracks please please please 🙏🏼 ‼️😩

-> bassist: no :)

-> guitarist: yes :)

-> drummer: one of them is lying… guess who and i’ll send the whole album plus excluded tracks.

-> landonorris: … um 😅 guitarist?

-> drummer: WRONG ‼️ but i’m scared you’re gonna complain to y/n so i’ll send them over to you 🙄

user27: at least we’re back to having lando being CHANGE!’s biggest fans. what did he think of ‘exile’?

-> yourusername: he cried so hard he threw up.

-> user27: real shit.

————————————————————————

taglist: @cuteskz @molten-m122 @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @booksandflowrs @mxdi0 @k1arsworld @alexmarie29 @luckyladycreator2 @23victoria (let me know via ask if you’d like to be removed).

wanna get tagged in any future works? sign up for my taglist!

[boyfiejay]

I love my girlfriend

PAIRING : Enhypen hyung line x female Youtuber! Reader

GENRE : fluff, bullet point

Warning : curse words, me rizzing up the reader😔

Word Count : 0.9k overall

Author's Note : this was long overdue☝🏻

Heeseung ☆

you're one of those underrated artists, that are underrated due to one sole reason

it's better to gatekeep a talented artist

yk the way some fans get sad that their favourites are now on everyone's fyp

yeah your fandom in a nutshell

they also thirst over you non stop

I mean you are stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting

just date me pookie

you used to be a youtuber before the music career fyi

imagine your fans' dilemma (dimension?) when you say out of nowhere that you have a bf

‘guys, my boyfriend sent me this :D’

and it's a silly picture of two cats or smtg

like your fans are fighting a fucking war on twt

and you are like cuddling with hee, listening to unreleased songs

you have no clue of what's going on

meanwhile heeseung…

he's ready to fight the war

posts a picture of you kissing his cheek on your insta story

he makes sure that only 1/4th of his face is visible

to keep his identity anonymous yk

…

your fans find his acc in 15 mins

he panics definitely 😭

tells you his innuendo after you wake up

and you're just like

‘yeah ok, sure’

WHY ARE YOU SO CHILL??

your boyfriend is getting deep fried on twt and you're like ‘el oh el’

dw your fans mean no harm

after a while they're like

‘they're cute tgt ig 😒’

Jay ☆

you're like a cooking channel

STAY W ME IK IT SOUNDS BASIC

you're like a blogger who blew up one day

because you're just soso pretty😻

alright anyways, your channel is focused around learning to cook

it's so chaotic sometimes

bcz you don't know shit about cooking

sorry if you do, let's pretend you don't >.<!!

you have almost killed yourself a dozen times

at some point people are like

‘??? how is she alive’

all thanks to your almost professional chef boyfriend

but no one has to know that ;)

anyways on like a milestone or something, you decide to cook blindfolded

bae you can barely cook with eyes open

your followers are concerned bro

like their blood pressure is rising by the minute

and like a holy light in the midst of the darkness

Jay stepped in, to save you from killing yourself fr this time

Your fans are seriously jumping around, squealing bcz he's just so soft and gentle to you :(((

but then they snap out and pretend to be angry

and you're like ‘meet my boyfie :3’

jk your fans love you two

like almost obsessed

also they're always sliding in Jay's dms

like I get it mans fine af but he's also taken

and also absolutely whipped for you 🤭

it's your world and we're just living in it…

Jake ☆

you are a gamer/streamer

your whole fan base is delusional

like so delusional, there are like hundreds and thousands of accounts claiming to be your bf/gf

but the iconic one ‘ynsboyfie’ is everywhere

like that acc is the most iconic thing in your lore

they are always there, no news of yours goes past them

always donating in your streams

and one day…

you forget to log in your priv acc

so your official acc has the comment

‘babe, you're so sweet ☹️🩷’

replying to ‘YNSBOYFIE’

???

oh your fans are livid

jokingly ofc

or maybe not

everyone on twt is like

‘who is this bitch???’

everyone hoping for his downfall

then you drop his pic

THE SWITCH UP IS INSANE

‘oh, oh, he's fiiine😏’

like I can't blame them, that's jake

but still they're supposed to be your fans

fucking snitches

my bae, pookum shmookum I would never

your fans love him

but also bully him calling him a lewser

hes so down bad he had a fan page for you

i dont blame him, i too would fangirl over you 😼

Sunghoon ☆

you're like a fitness channel

like those ones that have insane challenges

and your famous in people who have no interest in working out too

your face reveal went so viral, almost every single person knew your face

also your workouts (even tho deadly) always work so fast

people are in love with your figure and just you in general

you also upload mini vlogs once in a while

in these vlogs people noticed someone always being around you and in the back of the frame

at first they were like

‘obsessed fan😨’

but then they saw you laughing along with him in another clip

from the small clips, people couldn't see his face (bcz it's blurred) but omg the figure

the biceps, the buff and tall guy immediately steals everyone hearts

it's obvious from the clips that you're close with him

so naturally you are asked who he is and you just laugh

???

people are losing their minds woman

and you're just like ‘hehe’

they continue seeing him in your vlogs and in one clip you could see him putting his hands on your waist while you squat

you have no reaction to that

but twt…

he's getting dragged even though half of the people have no clue what's going on

you decide to take matter in your hands

and post this

with the caption ‘he's my boyfriend everyone :3’

the internet breaks

Sunghoon doesn't do his face reveal for a long time js bcz he doesn't feel like it yk

but when he does

good lord…

your fans love him

they also love how he glares at people who look at you the wrong way

you never notice that for some reason

[spideysbruh]

karma

summary- yn and shawn mendes break up. things get a little messy. timothee comes into the picture.

a/n- i can make shawn mendes a lil mean in this idc idc!!! also, ~~~ means time has passed

@popbase tweeted-

BREAKING NEWS: Actress Y/N L/N and popstar Shawn Mendes have officially broken up after three years together.

@ynsperfectlywrong replied- WHAT NOOOO💔💔💔💔 MY PARENTS

@sabrinasyn replied to @ynsperfectltwrong- guess your @ is real now...

@spideysyn replied- TOO SOON 😭💔💔

@ynscinderella replied- you can tell they've been broken up for a while bc they used to alwayssss post each other and then it just Stopped.

@yngoddess replied- I wonder why... he did seem a little off towards the end

@whenyoureyn replied to @yngoddess- you don't know them.

@rodrigoyn replied- he's been detached from everything recently. she can only help him so much. I hope he gets better.

@lauriesrings replied to @rodrigoyn- fr maybe he'll write an album about it LMAO

liked by melissabarrera, tchalamet, madisonbeer and 2,887,398 others

y/n alexa, play dangerous by madison beer

view all 43,826 comments

ynssocks OOOOF

madisonbeer great song 👍

y/n liked

ynstan MAKE HIM REGRET IT

chalshalamet has timmy always liked her posts ???

spideyyn bro's making a move 💀💀

shawnsyn that song though.... what did he to our girl😭😭😭

@celebritynews tweeted-

Shawn Mendes has recently spoken up about his and y/n l/n's breakup in a recent interview. "we were both just really wrong for eachother. towards the end, i felt like we were just completely different people. It wasn't like my previous relationships, it was almost suffocating."

He continued to say that the relationship was a great "learning experience", but still mentions his ex. "Our relationship was, for the most part, amazing, at the time it was a breath of fresh air. But it just wasn't how I imagined and previously experienced."

There are no comments yet from y/n on this.

@ynsgoldfish replied- oh so he's still in love w his ex.... and was constantly comparing the two girls and the two different relationships?? okay. got it. fuck this guy lol

@chappellyn replied- bro he's still obsessed with his ex im dead. didn't they date for like. one year barely 💀💀

@midnightyn replied- it wasn't like he "previously experienced" ummm maybe that's a good thing??? he's so fucking stupid.

@sunriseyn replied- remember when she had made a silly little tiktok about how she thought taron egerton was rly cute in Kingsman and Shawn then posted a video of him singing some sad song and also another tiktok showing how jealous he was LMAOOO sore loser. he doesn't know how good he had it with her.

@girlyyn replied to @sunriseyn- this^^^ like there were soooo many red flags w him but we were all just so in love w the idea of the relationship nobody saw it coming fr

@y/n tweeted-

my kink is karma

~~~

@popbase tweeted-

Shawn Mendes has just announced a new single! Releasing at the end of the month, titled 'Miss You More Than Anything'

@ynsgf replied- sooo embarrassing 💀💀

@fiveyn replied- bro realized too late LMAOOO sucks for him.

@chalametyns replied- it'd be sooooo funny if it was bad ����

@bluecurtains replied- oh it will be 💀

liked by tchalamet, florencepugh, dovecameron and 2,236,366 others

y/n feeling like a feather

view all 67,282 comments

sabsyn WITH YOU OUT MY LIFE 🗣🗣🗣

ynsbabe her post breakup journey has been so beautiful to watch tbh. I hope she finds someone who loves her fully

beachyyn 'post-breakup' it's been like almost a year already

tchalamet pretty

y/n 🫶💕

blankieyn UMMMM ??!?!!!

laurieslaurence wait- WAITTTTT

loveryn rue, when was this??

~~~

@popnews tweeted-

'Miss You More Than Anything' by Shawn Mendes has been out for several months, and is still the singers lowest grossing song ever.

@sabrinayn replied- the shadeeee 💀💀

@pinkyn replied- FOR Y/N UNITED WE STAND

@thankfulyn replied- I listened and... it's definitely a song with lyrics and a beat 😁

@warmyn replied- he'll never be loved by the masses again, it's crazy. almost sad... almost

@cineyn replied- "still" is so funny I cant

@timotheeyn replied- that's why she's with timothee now 💀

@sunnyyn replied to @timotheeyn- wait, it's confirmed?!???

@timotheeyn replied- not by them, but it's pretty obvious LMAO

tchalamet just posted a story!

@y/n tweeted-

not a lot going on at the moment, but life is good 🙏🏼🙏🏼

@ynsgirlfriend replied- you're so funny girl I love you

@y/n replied- why am I funny? im just vibing fr

@ynsautumn replied- she's living her best life fr

liked by tchalamet, shawnmendes, sabrinacarpenter and 3,287,272

y/n come with me... and you'll see...

view all 198,937 comments

lauriesrings THE WONKA REFERENCEEEE

rachelzegler literally the prettiest girl ever

y/n liked

y/n I literally love you so much.

ynsdinonuggets shawn liking is crazy 💀 SHE DONT WANT YOUU 🗣🗣🗣

piercetheyn imagine fumbling y/n 💀💀..... @shawnmendes IMAGINE 💀💀💀

tchalamet a worlddd of pure imagination !!!!

y/n omg youre my favorite actor hmu 😍

florencepugh so beautiful I miss you!!!

y/n liked

liked by y/n, francesa.scorsese and 4,847,727 others

tchalamet one year with you is crazy. best year of my life. you're the sunlight on my darkest days and just what I need on the good ones. you are everything I've ever wanted in one person and even more than I ever imagined. I miss you even when I'm right beside you, but especially when I'm not. I Love you, Y/n L/n.

view all 322,727 comments

laurieslaurence BROOOOOO

y/n im crying in this panda express omg

tchalamet liked

y/n you make me feel so special and so so loved. happy one year, timmy 🩷

tchalamet you are loved. happy one year, my love

alessiacara yall are too cute omg

ynscurtains BRO ONE YEARRRRR !?!!

kylesballs ellos son mis padres 😁

y/n just posted a story!

caption- 💕💕

liked by madisonbeer, tchalamet and 3,186,616 others

y/n I love you. you are the best thing to ever happen to me. you came during a confusing, heartbreaking, tumultuous time in my life that I was sure I would never get through. but I did and you were my reward. god, what a reward. I am forever grateful for you and everything you've taught me, and are continuing to teach me. happy one year my beautiful Man.

view all 122,282 comments

ynsmotivation okay I may be delusional but 'Man' being capitalized... maybe cause shawn was, and still is, acting like a boy LMAOOO

tchalamet I love you my pretty, talented, inspiring, strong, beautiful girl.

liked by y/n

harpyn and NOTHING for shawn 🤭🤭 funny how things work out.

rachelzegler we gotta have a double date soon!!

liked by y/n

*

[milesandcorysupermacy]

"I know someone who can" (Part 1)

1610!Miles x Confused-Black-Fem!Reader

Genre: Friends-to-lovers, Fluff, lil bit of angst

Warnings: We're like lowk cheating 😭, Cursing, Use of N Word, Google Translated Spanish, That's it I think lemme know if I missed sum 🤷🏾‍♀️

Songs that it's based on: Let Me Love You By Mario, Don't By Bryson Tiller

Summary: Basically, you get into a lil argument with your man (Jaleel) and run to Miles. You tell him that it's been like this for a while and he isn't having any of that. He tells you that you deserve better, luckily he knows someone who can provide better 😉

The IG Post:

-----------------------x-o-x-o-------------------

"You are so fucking insecure, it's unbelievable"

You say, rolling your eyes. You were sitting on Jaleel's bed, with your arms crossed. This nigga had the audacity to press you about an IG post on your PRIVATE Instagram. The post wasn't even that bad. Jaleel's been like this ever since the start of your relationship. At first. You just thought it was cute that he was a little possessive, you thought he was just showing that he cared. But now you're 4 months in and that shit just not cute anymore!

"I'm insecure? Nah I'm just responsible for you, and ion like you out here showing ya ass for all these lil niggas that are thirsting over you. You MY bitch."

Hold up...you know he ain't just say what you THINK he said. All your respect for him went out the window the second he said that. Plus, he wasn't even looking at you during this whole argument, this nigga is turned around, on his PS5, in his gaming chair, paying you no attention. You know what...you don't even care that you're at his house at this point, you're about to say what's on your mind.

"FIRST of all, I'm nobody's bitch. Second, Boy you are not responsible for me. Nigga, you ain't my daddy. You make it seem like I'm just a job, not your girlfriend. You know what...Miles WARNED me about you and I should've listene-"

You said, before getting so rudely cut off by the dreadhead in front of you. To be honest, you probably just fell for the height and hair. (Because if a 6 foot dreadhead walked up to you, you would take the opportunity too. Don't lie.)

"There you go, always talking about that nigga. 'Miles this, Miles that', since you wanna talk about him so bad why don't you just go be with him. But let me tell you something, that'll be the biggest mistake of your life. Because, he don't want yo' ass anyway. I'm the best thing you'll ever ha-"

He's cut off by the sound of you grabbing your shoes, and purse, hopping off the bed. One thing your mama has always told you is 'If you disrespect yourself, you'll allow others to disrespect you' and you weren't about to sit up here and be disrespected.

Jaleel turned around in his chair and looked at you, puzzled.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm grabbing my stuff and leaving, I'm not about to let you talk to me like this. J, I deserve so much better and that's what I'm about to go get."

You said, walking to the door. You heard him stand up out of his gaming chair and run after you. With the controller still in his hand, he stood in front of you. Blocking the exit of his apartment.

"Wait, wait, wait. Bae, I'm sorry, ok? Maybe I took it far this time but, you know you're not gonna actually leave me, right?"

He chuckled out, thinking this whole thing was a joke. Little did he know you weren't playing.

"Look, you can be delusional if you want to but I'm done."

You say, pushing past him and walking out the door. You heard faint sounds of Jaleel cursing in the background. You honestly weren't paying attention, there was just so much going through your head. You honestly couldn't believe that you just did that. You just kept your head down, continuing to walk down the hallway of the apartment complex. You felt tears well up in your eyes, not from sadness, but pure rage. You couldn't even believe that you stuck around for that long. How could you do that to yourself? Did he ever really care about you? Was he being egotistical? Was he right about you wanting to get with Miles? What are you gonna tell your mo-

You heard a little thump from your shirt rubbing against someone's jacket, dragging you out of your train of thought. You must have accidentally bumped into someone on your walk home.

"I'm sorry"

You said with a slightly congested, scratchy voice since you were just crying. Before looking up to see who it was, you recognized the Jordans and shadow of a tall, sort of lanky boy with a taper fade. Apparently he recognized you too.

"Y/N? Mami, why are you crying? Where's your jacket, you must be freezing!"

He said, pulling you into his embrace in the cold weather, wiping the tears from your eyes.

"Voy a matar a quien te haya hecho esto."

(I'm gonna kill whoever did this to you)

He muttered under his breath, still embracing you as he lead you to his home.

"I was just at Ja-"

"Shhh, you can tell me about it when we're inside so that you're warm and safe, Cariño."

(Dear)

He said as he continued speed walking the streets of Brooklyn, New York, with you wrapped in his warmth. He wanted to get to his apartment as soon as possible to make sure you're ok, you took note of that. Jaleel was wrong about a lot of things, but maybe he was right about this. Maybe you do wanna be with Miles...?

_______________________________________

This was lowk originally a one-shot but likeeeeee it's a lil more juicy when it's in chapters 😋 anyway, lemme know what yall think in the comments, I WILL REPLY BC I LOVE YALL 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

[kookidough]

random rant about tbp tiktok cause i’m actually Sick of it at this point💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ these issues probably exist Outside of tiktok as well but i only ever see them on there so thats the platform i’m gna talk about

before you read i just wanna say warning for mentions of sa!!!!!

first of all i dont want to jump straight into the serious shit so the unoriginality is actually INSANE like ive been seeing the same jokes since 2022, can we Please get something funnier than “griffin does gymnastics / is a ceiling fan” 😭 the amount of times recently i’ll see a tbp tiktok and then get someone copying the idea and making the Same exact post like 3 scrolls later is insane like Pls can we be original Pls this movie is so sad i need something to laugh at

outside of being totally unoriginal some of the jokes tend to be Really Fucking Disgusting like straight up joking about assault, i shouldn’t even have to explain that thats not funny in the slightest?? this one person made a bunch of really gross ones and kept blocking people who called them out in the comment section, my friend had to dm them Several times and all they did was take down one post, the rest are still up with a ton of views :/ i know its like shock humour or dark humour or whatever but i dont see the ‘funny’ side of a grown man forcing himself onto a child and i think if youre laughing at that you should sit down and ask yourself why you think thats so funny.. people in the comments are always like “i shouldn’t laugh” so they Know its wrong as well which just ugh the whole thing just really gets on my nerves

another thing that gets on my nerves is the lack of media literacy and straight up spreading misinformation, maybe on the media literacy part i’m just a hater but i see so many questions being asked or theories being posed when all of the things mentioned were… literally answered in the movie?? “whats up with finney and gwen’s mother” it’s literally said in the movie that she has the same ability as gwen and she killed herself bc of it, next question, “why was max so interested in finding the missing boys” maybe because he was a coked up conspiracy theorist who saw a serious crime happening in his brother’s area so he decided to be a genuine concerned citizen who wanted these boys to be found💀 “why did the grabber kill max” because he had evidence of the highly awful crimes he’d been committing and was about to let his latest victim free?? the list goes on and on but those r the main ones i see all the time

as for the misinformation. Ough. it annoys me So much this is a hill i will die on😭 i dont know if its people’s half-baked theories or personal headcanons that just got way out of hand but i see so much stuff being spread that just Isnt true, it gets spread so far that when you google these things it appears as true when its not which is annoying !!! i actually was gonna make an entire rant about one theory in particular that pisses me off so bad but i can fit it in here alongside my list of “other theories presented as facts that i Absolutely Despise”

first theory, the one i was gonna make an entire post over, is the theory that vance is the grabber’s son. if i see one more tiktok of those two with that marina and the diamonds song im going to fucking lose it😭 i have no idea where people got this from but its so fucking popular that it comes up on google and i Hate it, i think it comes from the fact that in gwen’s dream sequence, which, might i add, WAS A DREAM, it looks like the police drop vance off outside the grabber’s house and he goes inside there, which… apparently automatically makes them related…?? it takes like one ounce of media literacy to realise that Obviously he’d be getting dropped off at his own house in real life, but as a ghost he’s centred on the place he died and is showing that house to gwen in her dreams, like how every other ghost shows that house to her. awful theory awful take i hate it, if its ur personal headcanon sorry but i do Not fw that

the other theories i have like. not much to say about other than the fact that they’re Not true, i see a lot of stuff about griffin for some reason? the number tends to change but a lot of ppl say “he was kept in the basement for 4 years” like . Huh. where is your proof???? i know the missing posters are insanely unreliable but if you literally read them griffin went missing on april 2nd and billy went missing on may 4th so highly likely griffin was only in the basement for like. a month at most, no idea where ppl are pulling 4 years out of💀 i also see people say griffin has broken legs or a broken back Just because of the first scene where we see him doing a backbend but . if that was the case then he wouldnt be able to stand with the other ghosts when they show gwen the house, i think the backbend was just the position he died in and thats why he first appeared that way to finney but Hey thats just my opinion! last two i have like no rants over but just. firstly people saying robin never made it to the basement for some reason but clearly he did otherwise his ghost would not be down there with the rest of them😭 secondly the theory that vance was kept there the longest “because he’s the most feminine” which. just makes absolutely zero sense to me whatsoever idk whos random headcanon got popularised but i dont like it

okay getting serious again, while this one does not make me angry its like. just really weird to me? i think its common knowledge at this point that both the book and the movie are inspired heavily by the john wayne gacy case, with the grabber literally being inspired by john wayne gacy himself (you Cannot argue with me on this one its literally confirmed and theres a boatload of evidence supporting it). i guess its natural to see people making comparisons between the movie and the case because of the inspiration but i’ve seen Several videos recently of people taking photos of jwg victims and putting them next to tbp characters and saying thats who theyre inspired by and i think thats . Really coming across as insensitive i cant lie😭 we know the grabber was inspired by jwg and its heavily thought that billy was inspired by johnny gosch but theres not much about the others and i think its just really distasteful to compare real life murder victims to fictional horror characters just to get views/likes on tiktok, it comes across as insanely disrespectful to me but idk i havent seen anyone else talking about it so i might just be being sensitive

last thing that really really bothers me is grabber simps. while i do see it on tiktok i see it on here, tumblr, most often and its… so odd to me…. like why are you thirsting over the paedophilic serial killer… so so strange to me… i want to see art and character analysis and silly little posts about all the characters but every time i open the tbp tag i’m jumpscared by someones weird ass grabber x reader oneshot and its SO GROSS get that shit away from me😭😭😭😭 also saw this one girl on tiktok one time whos literal entire account was dedicated to the grabber and she defended this by saying the sa in the movie was “just a theory” which is so victim blamey girl i do not trust you there is so much evidence for it in the movie, again w the media literacy point, just because something isnt directly shown to you doesnt mean it isnt shown in other subtler ways… anyway i get if people like the grabber as a villain but actually like. loving him and thirsting over him is weird as fuck to me

so um ya the fandom is a trainwreck can we go back to there being like 3 of us please and thank u. if you actually read all this then Wow thank you its literally just me being chronically online and ranting about stuff that doesn’t matter in the real world at all

[midwestemoismid]

Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,

<autism rant>

Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.

i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw

well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that

i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏

this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession

and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.

I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it

as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.

I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well

"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.

I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.

Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol

This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright

If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over

[girlylukehughes]

Get him back!

trevor zegras x reader, jamie drysdale x reader, part one of the suneater au!☀️

part one, part two

Warnings: asshole trevor, cheating mentioned

wc: 1078

Y/n “Peach” L/n had met Trevor Zegras last summer while visiting her parents in Michigan. She was sitting in a tall barstool, simply people watching, when the tall blonde boy tripped over his own two feet and landed on the floor right in front of her. “Damn so people really do fall for me huh?” she said with a cocky smirk on her face, and an even cockier one appeared on his. “Yeah totally my plan of action here,” he said with a laugh, “I'm Trevor.” Peach reached her hand out to help him off the floor, “Y/n, but everyone calls me Peach.” Looking at her Trevor could probably tell why, her hair was the color of a ripe peach, “I'm guessing that has to do with the hair?” he questioned. “Partially, also because I grew up on a peach farm in Georgia.” So that’s where the accents from, he thought. “Well Peach, I’d love to buy ya a drink.” With the smile widening in her face, he already knew her answer would be yes.

Two months after that the fighting started. On their nights out his eyes would wander from his girlfriend to the other women in the bar. His ego didn’t help either. One night Peach was finally fed up with it and started speaking her mind. “You know it really sucks you scour for other women when I’m literally right next to you.” She scoffs, throwing her keys into her side table by her apartment door. Instead of feeling ashamed he just let out a small chuckle. “Babe I’m a professional hockey player, I’m 6’2, and I mean, come on, you’ve seen my body. Why wouldn’t I look when I could get anyone else I wanted.” Peach could feel the tears brimming in her eyes but she blinked them away and turned around. “For fucks sake, your ego is bigger than you dick I swear, and that’s saying something. Also Trevor, your height is literally public record, try knocking two inches off that.” In reality the relationship should have ended with that conversation, but he was so much fun to be around. Sure she thought his friends were weird for encouraging his behavior when they knew he had a girlfriend but when they’d go to parties and not come home until the early hours of the morning, all she could think about was the fun they have.

July 2022

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pic-ingpeaches: another song, another club, anther bar, another dance

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trevorzegras: god damn

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^pic-ingpeaches: ok weirdo

user81: not her flaming jack😭

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After every fight Trevor had a way of making up for it. Whether it was getting her nails done, new shoes, a new bag, or some jewelry, it was always something expensive but never something thoughtful. After she caught him cheating she should have called it quits. But the next morning on her beside table sat a plane ticket to France.

November 2022

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pic-ingpeaches: city of love with my lover

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Peach had finally had enough when winter turned to spring and called it off after an argument about Trevor trying to get with her friends. Everytime she thought she missed him she’d just remind herself of all the shitty things he did to her. She didn’t know if she loved him, and she wasn’t sure if it was hatred or embarrassment she felt, but one thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to get him back. She wanted to make him jealous, make him feel as shitty as he made her feel. She’d see pictures start to pop up in her Snapchat memories and it’d make her miss him and she’d get upset but the sadness and longing never overpowered her need for revenge.

Many letters and long winded texts had been drafted but never sent when she’d miss the way he kissed and the jokes he’d tell her that had her clutching her stomach with tears in her eyes. Peach would pour her heart out and almost hit send or put them in the mailbox when she’d see her friends' faces in her mind, because they all knew what he did. They all knew he’d continue to do it.

June 2023

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pic-ingpeaches: he said I was the only girl, but that just wasn't the truth

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jamiedrysdale: he’s an idiot

^pic-ingpeaches: truest words ever spoken!

user10: jamie😭

user59: damn if someone would cheat on you I’m FUCKED

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When Peaches ran into Jamie while getting coffee they sat down and caught up, one coffee meet up lead to two, which lead to three times a week. After a month of them meeting up three morning as a week Jamie had a proposal, “Go on a date with me, a real date. Not morning coffee but a nice dinner.” Peach really wanted to, she really did, but she wasn’t going to ruin a friendship. “Peach, you said you wanted to get him back right? This is the way to do it. Make him jealous, make him feel embarrassed.” Her heart was beating a mile a minute, “Jamie, I do actually like you, like romantically, you know that right? Like this wouldn’t just be a ploy to get back at Trevor, I’m in this for real.” Jamie’s face lit up, “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” “Well then Drysdale, pick me up Friday at 6.” Grabbing her bag she wakes out of the coffee shop, sending him a grin over her shoulder.

When Jamie showed up that Friday he had a giant bouquet of flowers in hand and a nervous look on his face. She was stunned, Trevor never got her flowers, hell no one had, but here was Jamie. Standing outside her door with at least $200 worth of flowers in his hands. The night was great, full of teasing jokes, blushes, and a sweet kiss at the end of the night.

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pic-ingpeaches: got him!

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❌tr*vor❌: what the fuck

read 3:20pm

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[dreamii-yume]

Aight, for my first proper thirst post after my long vacation, I present to you :

This fucking music video. Oh, Kayano Mikoto, the woman that you have made me 🧎‍♀️

But no, this music video is actually very sad 😭 Because not only does it confirms Mikoto having another personality, but this song is sung almost entirely by that other personality—“John” as Es calls him, short for “John Doe”

Mikoto is a tragic character y’all, I know we were all hornii about him during his first trial ☠️ But goddamn, his story is one of my favorites to dissect.

I really believed Mikoto when he said that he couldn’t remember a thing about his murders, because he doesn’t seem like he’s lying and seemed genuinely confused—So, I ended up entertaining the theory that his brain is actually erasing the memory due to trauma ☠️ One anon even theorized that Mikoto himself is the one doing the murder, and “John” is the one trying to protect him, which was something I started to believe in for a while—BUT THEN HIS SECOND TRIAL DROPPED AND HOO BOI, there’s a lot to unpack here lol

First of all, contrary to popular belief, Mikoto is now proven to be a kind character, he doesn’t have ill intentions. He’s a people-pleaser, who always bottles up his feelings and would end up suffering because of this. You could tell from how exhausted he looks, yet he keeps up a smile when talking to other people like his mom so they wouldn’t worry about him. But he’s not okay 😭

Eventually, the stress from his job got to him so bad that “John” was born to protect him from breaking. It’s currently unknown who or how many he killed, but it seems to imply from the Drama CD that it was a bunch of strangers that happened to irritate “John”, so he came out and killed them.

One thing to point out most of all here is that “John” is not evil—He didn’t kill just for laughs, he killed to protect Mikoto. He knows how kind Mikoto is, but just couldn’t handle the fact that the world mistreats Mikoto so much, taking advantage of his kindness. “John” cares for Mikoto, he was born to do things that Mikoto couldn’t do, because he just can’t sit there and watch as Mikoto break down.

“John” even expresses his distaste for us, the viewers/voters, for calling Mikoto a liar and making him seem like a villain in the first trial. Us, voting him Guilty/Unforgivable only made Mikoto’s stress-level sky-rocket so “John” comes out more in Milgram.

But his music video tells us that “John” does regret his actions. But I don’t think it’s the “I regret killing those people” kind of regret, it’s the “I regret making Mikoto suffer even more by killing those people” kind of regret, because look where that got the both of them. “John” practically ruined Mikoto’s life by trying to save/protect him, hence why I think he was apologizing to Mikoto at the end instead, not to us.

In the Drama CD, “John” basically admits to his murders, but begs Es to forgive/vote Mikoto innocent/forgivable because Mikoto is technically not the one who did the crime. Milgram is judging Mikoto as the Prisoner and not “John”, so he wants to at least put Mikoto at ease by telling him that he is innocent/forgivable. He tells Es that he’s afraid that if Mikoto is voted Guilty again this time around, the “Original kind Mikoto” will soon disappear, and that “John” will have take over. But on the contrary, if we vote Mikoto innocent, then “John” promises that he will be the one disappear.

I feel extremely unwell about their dynamic 🧎‍♀️Mikoto and even “John” deserved better than this. Mikoto doesn’t even know “John” exist bro 😭

[chiquititaosita]

monster trio reacting to you playing chicano hip hop, and lowrider jams part 1

post type: headcanon

reader: latina reader

summary: you show them new music and they’re reactions are unpredictable.

ft: monster trio luffy,zoro, and sanji

bear note: the second songs that I link are for part two’s future post 🤭

Luffy

‣ totally interested into the music

‣ “I LIKE THAT PART!! OOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!” he loves the talk box 😭❤️

-dances like a fucking idiot with you, and makes you dance with him.

-he’ll be screaming these specific lyrics

-“you stood out from the group across the room! I had to keep my attention on you!!!!”

‣ he’s definitely a fan! Of nb ridaz. For sure will go to any concert if they’re performing at any island the straw hats land.

‣ “eres la princesa qUe Me VUELE lOCOOOOOO!!!!!!” HES even got chopper, usopp and sanji on this song 🤦🏽‍♀️

‣ the minute y’all play this song after a while, luffy will scream on the top of this lungs to every song that’s on. it’s adorable 😭❤️

-“HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU BABY!? THAT YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY!! A GOOD CRAZY!” he was just singing random lyrics from this group. Since the group had made new songs. He follows MC Magic (the guy who does the talk box) and loves this one song which I’ll link here

‣ you do not understand, you’ve showed him a new world to Chicano music and lowrider jams…. he didn’t even know that was, until then he’ll stick to it.

‣ His mixtapes are full of 90s rap and hip hop and some cumbias

Zoro

‣ he’s just like….what?

‣ “ I hate it.” he lied he loved

‣ he snickered at the part where chino grande says “baby gorl don’t cry 🫦”

-he wanted to do that for Halloween the makeup so y’all did that.

-hums the tune when sharpening his swords.

‣ “why are you playing it again?” You ask him?

‣”you like the song don’t you?”

‣”yeah-“

‣”then don’t complain.” He pouted because he secretly loves it

‣ “is youuuu.. and I wouldn’t trade it…” he’ll bop his head to the song, and tap his feet to it..

bear note- since tiktok ate this song I’ll give you part two.

Sanji

‣ “how do you know that song?” He was shocked and his heart was fluttering

‣ he’ll ask you because his mom would always sing a certain song to him when he was little. He told you it would always have him sound asleep, or leave a smile on his face.

‣“I’ve always heard this song playing when I was little. It stuck with me.” you sigh in nostalgia and happiness where you had those moments at the flea markets with your family eating elotes, tacos and street food.

‣“dance with me.” you’ll grab his hand and hug on his sleeve.

‣”as you wish my darling, just let me start it over again.” He puffed out his cigarette placing it on his ashtray. Starting the track over on the speaker.

‣ “remember when I told you about my mother singing me a certain song if I ever felt sad, or frustrated?” he gazed at you eagerly. You nodded in response and smiled at the fact you knew what he was going to say

‣”is this the song?”

‣”yeah…..” he explained how it was a comfort to him after him opening up to you about his family. you never felt so bad for such a man who has such a loving presence and a very big heart.

‣”ill try my best to sing it for you as often as I can.” He’ll whisper into your ear before kissing your temple, and tell you how lucky he is to have you.

‣ after a few days ago by when y’all land to a new island, the song plays again from a live band. You smile at him “may I have this dance amor?”

‣ he giggled and took your hand “yes yes you may.” He’ll kiss the tip of your nose, and sing in your ear. The way this man sings is heavenly 🥰

‣ “my angel baby is what I am going to call you from now on..” he’ll mumble as a blush appears on his face.

‣ it’s now your theme song. because he sings it or hums it all the time when he’s with you.

‣ so now anything with angels, or anything that says angel baby he buys it for you 😭❤️

‣any song with oldies he’s in love for real 🥰

[therealcocoshady]

I love lucky you too. The MV was so cool 😭.

As for why I can’t stand Skylar - Girl there’s a lot of reasons. 1. I also think her vibes are kind of weird and obsessive when it comes to Marshall? Like she’s always using his music in posts, posting about him, etc and I find it a little weird how she’s always tied to him. Which brings me to reason 2. Shes so dependent on that man musically it’s sad. And I feel like he’s depended on her too when he doesn’t even have to be. Like every concert she’s there performing. Every song that needs a female vocalist, she’s singing. She’s always talking about her collars with him and it’s weird as F*CK. Like we get it. You and Marshall made music together. We get it that your on his albums. We get you go in tour with him. NEXT. 3. He keeps using her as a vocalist… I’m so tired of hearing her voice bro. Like deadass. At first I was like okay. I won’t disagree that she’s talented because she is. She can be. Her music writing skills are phenomenal. But her singing… hang it up please. She is SO mediocre and bland it’s actually insane. She is BORING. Her vocals are the same old same old, her stage presence is lame. She stand in stage in one spot singing and moving her galea’s to look at him and the crowd but goes no where. She doesn’t move, she is just boring. And I hate to say this, but he could do SO much better for his albums. There’s so many good vocalist out in Detroit and everywhere else. Why doesn’t he hire them? He used ONE new vocalist that was a black woman and that shit SLAPPED. She ATE DOWN on that song. Then never used he again. Went back to Skylar’s vocals. 🤨 3. She’s keeps saying she’s working in stuff but it’s just repetitive. Like how many times are you gonna re-record different version of Love the way you lie? 4. To wrap it all up, she’s giving work wife. It’s giving he keeps her around because he feels bad for her and her situation. It’s giving why the fuck can’t you find another vocalist it sing in your songs? She’s just boring and over hyped to me. I think she should stick to song writing but that ain’t my business 🤭.

Man’s as for the Christianity thing, I don’t think it’s so much so as a US thing or him being a born again Christian (that’s the first I’ve ever heard about him being one). Like I get where he’s coming from bc I’m kinda the same. I don’t think he’s always been super religious or anything by any means but he’s always had faith. He doesn’t go to church on a Sunday or read the Bible but he got respect for the man upstairs and believes. He’s just not overly flamboyant about it if that makes sense. I just think with the track (Use This Gospel) he tapped into his faith for the sake of the because we all know Kanye is more into that genre and is way more open about his views. He’s mentioned God/Christianity in his music before

Mmmmh. I never gave Skylar that much thought but... Yeah. Makes sense. It IS true that while she is a talented songwriter, her vocal skills are nothing to write home about (in my humble opinion). She sings prettily but it's always sort of the same and some of Em's music could be more impactful if he put someone on there with a better voice/vocal range.

Thanks for answering the Christianity thing. I think I read something about him being a born-again Christian and that is what made me wondering. But it is true that he's mentioned his beliefs before. I'm kind of the same too. But anyway, This Is Gospel is an amazing song so I'm happy he is on it !!!

[le-trash-prince]

OF Episode 9 Thoughts

I had to watch without my friend this week so it was a less exciting experience without the usual screaming, but this ep was so good. Honestly I don’t know why people are worried about the show not having enough episodes left to wrap up all their plot lines because they cover SO MUCH GROUND in every episode

first off I’ve been internally screaming about SandNick since the promo pics dropped AHFKFJDJDJD THE WHIPLASH THIS CREW HAS PUT MY THROUGH TODAY.

Ray peaked in his full problematic era and it was finally to the point where I could fully enjoy it. Go girl, pressure Mew into having sex. Cheat on the boy you’ve been chasing for years, give Sand that toxic romance energy!

Top spent this whole episode in a precarious balance of trying to do right by Mew but pushing things too far, and he was always one sentence away from getting punched.

Atom son, you can’t say you weren’t warned or that Boston promised anything more. Boston’s “what the fuck?” was me too LMAO he just wanted to mind his own business doing photography research 😭

SANDNICK WERE EVERYTHING THIS EPISODE THO

I loved Nick coming in with “the logical conclusion is for us to have sex”

disappointment of my life that it didn’t click for them I WOULDN’T HAVE MINDED IF THEY WERE ENDGAME

smh at Ray crashing their roommate time tho THE MOST AWKWARD EXPERIENCE AHDJFJFJF

The SandRay convo in the river was the healthiest communication we have seen from any of these boys. Again we see the transformative effects of water 🙌

Also I was just so glad to hear Sand say so many things that needed to be said. That Ray could have gotten him arrested, that he treats Sand like a possession, that he needs to be nicer to Sand!

Mew falling asleep on his own couch is the realest sign of being Not Okay. I think he really needed some time with his parents, even if he couldn’t talk to them about what he was going through. Sometimes having an outsiders perspective that you’re not doing well can mean so much. I really think they were the catalyst for Mew sobering up. I’ll dig more into this later.

Honestly a relief that Top showed up at Mew’s to talk to him and not because he was stalking him and his moms. I can only deal with one stalker per episode thanks 😔🤚

Nick kissing two men in one ep YOU GO SON

The BostonNick bathroom scene was everything to me I need a separate post for this SHDKFJSJDBFBDBE I’M SO SAD MY FRIEND COULDN’T WITNESS THIS WITH ME WE’VE BEEN WAITING SINCE THE PILOT TRAILER 😭😭😭😭

I am begging Ray to go to therapy and to learn about ethical non-monogamy that man needs a counselor and two boyfriends

I don’t recognize the song that was playing during the SandRay sex scene but it definitely seemed like a brit rock song which is on brand and I appreciate

I’m so glad Sand didn’t do Ray’s social service for him oh my god THE BIGGEST RELIEF

I’m also glad Top decided not to show the video to Mew! So many good decisions this episode!! I hope he recognized that Mew has been through enough of that kind of drama and that there are better ways to learn about this kind of thing.

Also so glad MewRay talked things out and parted cleanly. Sometimes ppl really do gotta date a friend to figure out that it doesn’t work.

I appreciated the MewCheum convo a lot too.

Honestly this episode ended way more cleanly than I was expecting after part one. I think if Top had shown Mew that video, Mew really might have lost it and just killed someone.

BOEING!!!!!!

Next week’s preview looks so good!!!

[afmis]

Inspired by my last post… the SONGS I’d pick for c!beeduo? SO GOOD ‼️ my c!beeduo playlist was literal genius guys

If I may share some… 😏

Friendly Neighborhood Poltergeist by Rory Webley-

I like to pretend Ghostboo never existed. But if c!beeduo had been portrayed well and cc!beeduo hadn’t been such PUSSIES ‼️ …ghostboo could’ve been SO good. Such a painful arc for them. Like a love triangle 🥰 but it’s two of the same person and their husband 💀 anyways 😭 this song always reminds me of ghostboo. How c!tubbo would’ve just ignored him in favor or missing c!ranboo. While ghostboo felt like he could’ve been better

Lovefool by The Cardigans-

A classic. Obv, after the burger arc. Where c!ranboo immediately jumps to conclusions. Tho I also feel like with the way c!tubbo was written in that arc… ya can’t blame c!ranboo 💀

Francis Forever by Mitski

Mitski is literally c!Tubbo’s artist. Her songs are literally like all in c!Tubbo’s pov. But this one I’d imagine is after c!ranboo’s death, and where he doesn’t know how to go on after

If You Leave by Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

I kinda imagine, in my better canon ending. They kinda wistfully parted ways. I think this one captures that ending well (OFC in my ending they got back tg after)

It Will Rain by Bruno Mars

In my perspective, c!Tubbo was written HORRIBLY. I think bc cc!tubbo hated cc!ranboo he didn’t even try with c!beeduo’s relationship 💀 but I imagine, and I rlly wish he was written in this way, that c!Tubbo really did love c!Ranboo. He was just as smitten as canon c!Ranboo was with c!Tubbo. He just wasn’t great at expressing it, and he always thought c!Ranboo could do better. But he was secretly terrified of c!Ranboo leaving, and he didn’t want that. Ofc, “cuz there’ll be no sunshine if I lose you baby” and “if you walk away, everyday it’ll rain”. He would be devastated if c!Ranboo left, not uncaring like c!Tubbo was portrayed

Warning Sign by Coldplay

Like my last one says, I think c!Tubbo was very insecure when it came to c!Beeduo’s relationship. He 100% thought c!Ranboo deserved better and thought c!Ranboo would be better without him. So I think he would’ve let him go. I think this song would show that kinda misery that came with actually LOSING c!ranboo and not having them in his life. He’d be running into c!ranboo’s arms fr 😭

I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston

I think in the fucked up canon where c!beeduo weren’t meant for each other in the end. They would come to the conclusion that being married wasn’t for the best. So this song would be c!Ranboo leaving bc they know they aren’t what c!Tubbo needs. C!Tubbo would need more than c!Ranboo. Hey, I never said I liked my perspective of canon c!beeduo 💀

The Exit by Conan Gray

Every time I hear this song I remember c!Beeduo and just cry. But I kinda imagine post burger arc, c!Ranboo is just heartbroken and c!Tubbo is unapathethic. They grow apart. c!Tubbo is happier away and living his life. Even months later, c!Ranboo is still left wondering what went wrong with their life and their family and trapped in the past. They haven’t healed, aka “feels like we had matching wounds, but mine’s still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine”. They’re just sad and heartbroken 😿 c’mon c!tubbo

Save Your Tears by The Weeknd

Every since this song came out, I think around the divorce arc, I’ve immediately thought of c!beeduo. In c!Tubbo’s pov ofc. “You look so happy when I’m not with you. But then you saw me, caught you by surprise . A single teardrop falling from your eyes. I don’t know why I run away. I make you cry when I run away. You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart. You could’ve told me that you fell apart. But you walked past me like I wasn’t there. You just pretended that you didn’t care. “ and “Girl take me back cuz I wanna stay, save your tears for another- I realize that I’m much too late and you deserve someone better. “ I feel like this would either be present burger arc or post. Maybe both. c!Ranboo heartbroken and c!Tubbo realizing and wanting to fix things

Level of Concern by Twenty One Pilots

Present burger arc. “Cause I told you my level of concern, but you walked by like you never heard” I’m act not quite sure for which of them I picked this song for. Maybe c!Ranboo being worried during the whole like. c!Tubbo and c!Quackity partnering thing and c!Tubbo being oblivious/dismissing it. Or c!Tubbo being worried about them and c!Ranboo ignoring his questions due to being angry

Little Talks by Monsters and Men

I think this song fits the change from the happy-go-lucky honeymoon phase where everything is perfect, to the “uh-oh, something’s wrong” start of unraveling and distrust of their relationship. Obv, c!Tubbo is the one who is panicked and feeling unsure, while c!Ranboo is the one who is trying to comfort him

Christmas in June by AJR

This is just bc of the animatic I saw years agon💀 but I feel like it is fitting. GO WATCH THE ANIMATIC THO IT’S SO CUTE, I THINK IT’S CALLED CHRISTMAS IN JUNE. BEEDUO? ANIMATIC? IDK 😭 GO WATCH IT THO

Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng

This isn’t less of the divorce arc and more of just c!beeduo in general 😭 to where I’d imagine the canon where they wouldn’t end up enemies LMFAO. This song is SOOOOOO c!Tubbo, panicking bc he accepted he’d never have a happy ending and here comes warm, loving c!Ranboo to turn that around. So cute

When He Sees Me (a lot of artists, it’s from the Waitress musical 😭)

c!Tubbo fr. Post L’Manberg, logical and pessimistic c!Tubbo who doesn’t ever see himself finding love. But he does want to be loved and meet the one, he’s just scared because he doesn’t feel like anyone could love him

Love Like You (Steven Universe lol)

I’M SORRRYYY IK THIS ONE IS SO OVERDONE 💀 but this fits c!Tubbo so well. Sorry I love me some c!Tubbo study y’all. Once him and c!Ranboo get “platonically” married, become really close and they rlly start to love each other. c!Tubbo is like holy guacamole. He’s literally the most incredible and kind-hearted person he’s ever met and he’s just too good. Nothing like c!Tubbo. And he’s like what’s he doing with me 😿 (hence the whole “he deserves better I’m so emo” thing)

I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

This song makes me so emotional it’s so beautiful 😭 but I’d like to imagine c!Beeduo as this beautiful, loving, completely smitten relationship. I feel like in the beginning, around like March-June 2021 where they’re like wow this is new I’m like secretly in love with my platonic husband (or after they finally makeout) and we’re staring into each other’s eyes and everything’s so perfect and I’m so happy. This song is what I imagine c!Beeduo’s relationship as. Completely in love, like a dream

Strawberry Blond by Mitski

(Back to the divorce arc again LOL) c!Tubbo being oblivious and happy with his new life selling… burgers. c!Ranboo just smiling through the pain like I’m SO happy for you *ugly sobbing* but he loves c!Tubbo too much so he’ll put up with whatever

Sally’s Song (Nightmare Before Christmas)

I watched this movie for the first time around the c!Beeduo divorce arc. Yeah ik 💀 but when I heard this song I was like HOOOOOOOO THIS IS THEM FR ‼️ naw bc like “I sense there’s something in the wind that feels like tragedy’s at hand. And though I’d like to stand by him, can’t shake this feeling that I have. The worst is just around the bend. And does he notice my feelings for him? When will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be” LITERALLY the whole song is c!Ranboo I’m just not gonna copy and paste the entire thing 😭 in the canon I think c!Ranboo would be the one who’s aware that the burger arc can only lead to bad things, and c!Tubbo’s oblivious (HE WOULD NOT BE BUT 🙄). Alas, c!Ranboo doesn’t want to say anything and silently supporters c!Tubbo’s decision, knowing c!Tubbo is ignoring c!Ranboo’s feelings

I Love You So by The Walters

I would play this song on loop just thinking abt c!Beeduo back then 😭 and every time I hear it I’m like ah. The gays. “You’re saying I’m the one but it’s your actions that speak louder” c!Ranboo seeing c!Tubbo isn’t SHOWING that he loves c!Ranboo. “I’ve got to get away and let you go, I gotta get over… but I love you so” c!Ranboo knowing he needs to leave c!Tubbo but he loves him too much to leave. “I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul, cuz you were cruel and I’m a fool, so please let me go” c!Ranboo eventually building resentment and leaving

Happier by Olivia Rodrigo

“Oh, I hope you’re happy. But not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know. I can’t let you go. So find someone great, but don’t find no one better. I hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier. “ c!Ranboo would 100% be the bitter ex-wife who loves c!Tubbo but also wishes him the worst LOL. He’d be like “yeah we’re done and I don’t wanna be with you, I hope whoever you end up with or whatever you end up doing doesn’t make you happy”

Feeling Lonely by boy pablo

“Can’t help it, I just miss you. How did I lose you now again? “ c!Tubbo. After the burger arc, c!Ranboo is bitter, distances himself, starts spending less time in snowchester and with c!tubbo, talks to him less and less until he’s not even there anymore. c!Tubbo finally stops being oblivious and is like “pookie what happened 😕💔” and turns into actual devastation bc he’s actually sad that c!Ranboo’s gone and he lost him

Alr folks 😭 that’s it. I’ll link my sloppy, unfinished (and probably will never be finished) c!beeduo playlist if desired. Y’all can take a look if desired :) if you actually got this far, I commend you. But I probably would’ve as well 💀 I’m desperate for any ounce of c!beeduo I can get. LOVE YOU, BYE!

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5BmmigtYA6GkOfFpaiFMda?si=uzocViyuRSyjK6scrJeKfA&pi=u-hU4qqT47SwqK

[kuwdora]

Latest things meme... (Two posts in one day? Wonders never cease. Enjoy the ADHD flavor rambling below.)

Anyway, thank you always for the tag @kiriele!

Last song:

I have to again preface that most of my music consumption is for vid-related purposes these days.

I came across this hilarious meme that gave me my latest vid idea. It’s a photo of Paris Hilton picking out some ice cream treats, and overlaid on the treats are one Cassian Andor from Star Wars and John Silver from Black Sails. The captain reads “Actually, can I have five more of these [can’t escape the narrative] bitches?” And the OP writes “finally figured out why these two makes me so feral.”

I saw that and I felt like my third eye opened. Like. 🤯 Because there is a perfect thematic vid there showcasing these two’s specific struggles. Especially in the context of resisting an encroaching empire and and and... they really got sucked into the narrative and can't! fucking get out!! And then they end up believing in the cause (in their own ways) and ah ah ah...ahhhhh..

Okay that context being given, I went and spent all 5 minutes going “I need a song. I need a song for these two. Two sources, two voices? Maybe, maybe not. Male vocalist? Raging against the authority is punk, but I love mash-ups and pitting parallels and contrasts of with multiple musical sources. Wait, I already had a DJ artist who made this other mash-up I loved am going to use for a vid…surely he has something that could be… interesting or great for Cassian Andor and John Silver. Surely??”

Friends. Friends. Even those of you who don't know or care about vidding, this is just a sort of beautiful mini-nirvana moment when you discover the perfect song (especially so quickly).

BEHOLD. My Cassian Andor and John Silver vidsong that I may or may not make but you hear it first:

I can see the whole vid unfolding before my eyes. Frantically trying to download Black Sails and searching my 3 hard drives to make sure I had in fact nabbed Andor earlier for a different vid idea. Yet…I have so many other vid things in my queue and only so much hard drive space and brainRAM.

Currently watching:

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. I want to like it more than I do. I like elements of the characters, (La’An and Chapel are extremely compelling, Ethan Peck is bringing a great human cheekiness to his portrayal of Spock, Pike remains a great Space Dad) but there’s still something that’s not gelling fully with me. Which is sad because I am so on board with the more episodic angle again and some of the classic themes and motifs from TOS but it’s just…idk, I think I need a whole post to think aloud on it.

Currently reading:

Ahsoka by EK Johnston, Baptism of Fire by Andrzej Sapkowski. Almost done with Spin State by Chris Moriarty.

Currently obsessed with: Oh, I’m burbling with obsession…

In my reading I’m still losing my mind over how much I love Baptism of Fire. Milva sucker punching a peasant. Regis’ entrance to the narrative. ZOLTAN, sloppy drunk. Geralt dreaming of Ciri…Ciri dreaming of Geralt. 😭

Ahsoka learning how to pretend to be a Normal Twice-Orphaned Teenager. How do people interact outside wartime situations and executing battle strategy?? Honey… (I need to go look for some post-O66 Ahoska fic novels…)

ALSO!!! @dragneto has also infected me witcher fic idea that’s got me foaming at the mouth. I want to tackle the idea but I’m also dying to finish my WIP chapter first before I can play. I’m so obsessed with this ridiculously horny and sad idea.

I also have 4 vid ideas I’m chewing on like a rabid gremlin and it is definitely to the point of obsession. Mad that I won’t be able to follow through in the short or medium term…too much on the brain, lack of focus, stress from life stuff, other WIPs eating away at me.

Two Witcher ones vid ideas: my Phil vid…she’s so bad, I love her. Sexy song, lots of bad. And I am revisiting an old pan-canon humor/thirst/thematic vid about Geralt… Which is more about how the characters see him.

Then I got my Star Wars Rebels idea which I’m having technical problems that’s keeping me from starting.

…And then this Andor/Black Sails thing…

tagging @deerna and @danegen and @shetiger and @simuran and @whatkindofnameisvolta ...and anyone else who wants to go.

[baekhvuns]

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway

Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go... I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him

Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going?

Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU... I'm manifesting

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan... I better not see him at EXO World though

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺

Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died

Oh he... yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️

ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

hi helloo!!

Rip Baek, they wanna make you an American football stan 🤡 I never understood Super Bowl tbh, some performances aren't even good anyway //// Lol you're saying the Mbappe x RM saga will finally end? If he plays and behaves well be my guest, but it's on sight Kylian!!!

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 u will never catch me being one <3 id probably get whooped if i ever put on the american football in this ethnic household fbwndbej,,,, i AM SAYING PERHAPS partially bc at psg he gets the recognition and if he were to move it,,, he’d have to share it the spotlight but since he gets his fair share of it psg iM HYPOTHESIZING that he will not leave unless ronaldo pulls up that is dbd  

and also pelé??? 😭😭🤚🏻 vivienne westwood???

It's always sad seeing top players struggle in the NTs, because they're doing all the work. The disproportion is really big. I can't blame other players since a lot of them don't play in CL clubs, but it's so embarrassing sometimes 😭

yEAAAH! it’s cringe to even watch, i skipped so many of porto’s matches bc of it inconsistency in the plays and the ups and downs,,, if i compare them to argentina u could tell they all worked in a TEAM even if they got messi in, for porto it was like ronaldo was the only one being the definition of TEAM but when he’s benched it just crumbled,,, but i guess a lot of them have an experience now and hopefully put up a great fight next wc!

So brother Baek could've been a cricket star?! Omg damn that injury sounds nasty though. I don't know shit about cricket actually. Tbf my wrist was already twisted because of another evil team ball sport called HANDBALL. My spaghetti arms couldn't take it lolol, I'm decent at basketball though! I did break two of my fingers while playing, but 😅

fhandhwk nO bc we were REALLY onto him being one but then everyone kept pressuring him saying you’d be on tv and then the ball hit his nose and made a bump on it and it was determined he would never <3 dbwnbdsn no its ok cricket’s like football, if u watch it u can tell exactly what’s going on! LMFAOOOO GTFO HANDBALLS SO MUCH FUN HOW THE FUCK DO U FUCK UR WRIST UP PLAYING THAT ANON U MUST BE TWISTING IT AND HITTING ALL THE SCORES 😭😭😭 ronaldo + lewa possessed u i tell u, STOPPP??? ANON??? I WISH U SAW MY FACE WHEN I READ THAT 😭😭😭 anon hOW stop did the ball jam really hard and ur body just gave up 😭😭

Pique thinks he's a spy or a detective trying to "expose" RM every 4 months, let it go… I can't believe Shakira got with him, girl??? I had to show some of the best football moments to my ignorant USA friend and I ofc sent her the Zidane headbutt and Suarez biting, culture <3

NO SRS I WONT BE SURPRISED IF HES SOME TABLOID SOLELY MADE TO EXPOSE RM 😭😭😭 no bc theres like compilations of shakira destroying pique’s emotions and its so funny to watch after the shit he’s done, deserved 🤩 RBQMDBWMCKCK STOP U SHOWED THE BEST THINGS STOP IT FNFNJCKC CULTURE !!!!! CORRECT !!!! literally no one remembers the winners it’s just the headbutt, he def cursed italy ever since dbdb did u show the pep ramos duo 🔫

It happens every year so I don't think Salah cares? Good for him, but on the other hand I'd just stop posting at this point, cause the comments are getting worse and worse

yeah!! like i get religion but ppl also celebrate christmas,,, AND halloween?? it’s not like he’s disrespecting his own religion?? bro just wants to have a good time 😭😭😭 he's having a great season so far too now!

Harry Kane being a disappointment isn't anything new lmao. Believe it or not, but I unfortunately have some Spurs fans among my friends and they're often mad at him Omg, yeah see suddenly everyone knows everyone. Bestie I don't go to weddings, but I probably heard the songs you've mentioned, got me all curious 👀 Riverdale was filmed near you?! I'm so sorry, that's so bad 😩

LMFAOOOO i believe it 100% bc my english cousins were like “disappointed but not surprised actually” 😭😭 omg u must’ve heard his songs! if u didnt go to a hindu wedding bdbd if u watched the movie happy new year? with srk, there’s a track called lovely i think he produced it, he’s worked w/ mr snoop before! tho is songs are primarily from early 20’s! YEAH TRAGIC !!!! ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC I TELL U, constant memories of im a weirdo 🔫🔫

Is the Yunho fic hot & cold too then? How's it going? /// Hwa is a mystery, because no way he wouldn't be able to take Hongjoong down. Sometimes he does this though, soooo 🤔 runner Hwa AU… I'm manifesting

it is hot & cold! banter and silly arguments and a reincarnation of betty white as yunho’s grandmother like the proposal <3 yEAH LIKE NO WAY??? is he just masking his strongness under the humble, nice, oldest persona,,, need him to throw hands,,, runner hwa au,, where he asks the ostracized, once track prodigy for help who shuns him away <3 readers older too!

I hope Hwa will be able to attend EXO's concert 🤞🏻 I wouldn't mind a free ticket either, heh. Uhmmm wow, Neymar Jeongin stan… I better not see him at EXO World though

I HOPE HE DO BC IM EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE 🔫🔫🔫 BFMWBDKSBDKCKC free ticket is what im hoping for atm bc ik im not getting the tickets 😭😭 they do a raffle thing too all my hope is for that,,, FBWMBDWKKCKC  neymar a kai stan?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫

That radio clip of Seonghwa, I'm starting at nose ☺ //// Seonghwa stans Taemin and Taemin is Jesus, Taemin has passed his role to Seonghwa! But why did Woo say the choreography is tough, but Hwa said otherwise lmao. Maybe Seonghwa isn't doing anything 😭

ANONNNN

taemin is the son of jesus, need to witness him live so bad ill make him my religion on spot fbfb SEONGHWA BECAME JESUS

i am gonna stop

i logged into twt and i

i

how

what THE fUCK

Btw this person spoke the truth a fear, but they're booing them ausyshshjsjsjsbababsb. If they saw our opinions ☠ can't say shit on that app, because everything is anti behaviour

they so brave for this bc its no one would wanna admit,, UTOPIA SUPREMACY!!!! LMFAOOOO the comment just under the post 😭😭😭😭

Halazia on the other hand seems nice, at least in contrast to Paradgim, idk if I'll be obsessed cause I'm used to them spoiling half the song so I'm not sure how I feel yet ajuduwuwsjjsjssjs, but everyone's already calling it SOTY ofc 😭 the performance spoilers what's going oooooon, feathers?! My issue is the cb is at 6am my time AGAIN???!!!! What happened to later comebacks, fuck America I know it's all for Billboard!!! 😭

sEEE NOW its def better than paradigm, i do dislike the “hala hala hala halzia” i prefer just the “halaziA” they do with their voices and it’s oomph 🤌🏻 the beat at hongjoong’s rap was sICK,, for a moment the beat drop was like the same type of music as dazzling light bUTTT it was good!! jongho’s vocals great i do think mayhaps there couldve been a chorus where they all sing together and it would be chills w the drop,, it was an almost anti drop in the first half,, ur opinions on it??

LMAO gitl, so someone asked if the person on my lockscreen was my girlfriend??? And it's Christmas kitty Hwa I almost died //// Oh he…  yeah so anyway 🧍🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ALSO MINGI'S HAIR IS YELLOW AND RED AGAIN AAAAAAAA

LMFAOOOO RHQKDHQKHDKW UR GIRLFRIEND IS SEONGHWA !!!!! SCREAMING DHDJDJDJ£|€£\€\ IM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT HIM IM STUCK ON UR STORY STOP THATS HILARIOUS DHDJ

Wait what's the god save the queen option about 😭 anyways I'm a communist, honestly I got called one more times that I can count so 🤷🏼‍♀️

A COMMUNIST 😭😭😭😭 i am a christmas enthusiast <3 heres another!

Oh no Baeksy, HUI ON BOYS PLANET AS A CONTESTANT??? HE GOT RELEASED FOR THIS?! 😭😭😭😭🔪🔪🔪🔪 - DV 💖

NO CAUSE???? WHAT THE HELL???? 😭😭😭😭😭  

bro’s acting

is this not ceo hwa

and im afraid that arrange marriage fic is topping the tier atm…

ikon freedom era and bp going black label?? what IS GOING ON BFFB

AND A POST MALONE SONG FOR ATTEEZ IM GONNA START SCREAMINNNNG oh its not with hwa 😭😭😭😭