#why is Gerard hanging off of shit

[hisgxrlfriday]

RR fans and their scary parasocial ways

So I've been thinking about this for a little while and with the WWWY announcement a lot of attitudes have been re-emphasised online. I love Ryan and I honestly just feel bad- I don't think ruined is the right word nor am I trying to speak on his behalf. A lot of this is my opinion, but also, I'm really not making stuff up I'm just using them to justify my viewpoint. I'm gonna try and break it up into paragraphs, i know i said an essay but I'm in the middle of exams and theres nothing i want less than to write another damn essay.

Without further ado, here's my commentary on fan culture and how it how seems to have impacted Ryan Ross.

To clairfy, I'm assuming he's a bit done wiith the whole fame thing based off how little we see of him- compared to like, Jon.

Initial reception-

Obviously Panic blew up massively very early on, when they were very young. And fans treated them really gross. As a band they were harassed- if someone said to their favourite artist today "I want to lick you" they would get torn up. But there's a video where they talk about these kinds of comments being made to them at shows, and the interviewer laughs. These kids were young. Jon wasn't old enough to drink. And the behaviour was considered totally fine. Was it because they were a bunch of teenage boys, why wouldn't they want hot chicks all over them?

I'm not going to evaluate the effects harassment has. I am, however, sure you can understand. Yes that is just one example. But theres no doubt it happened plenty of times and people did not care. I'll go more into the sexualisation of the members later as well. But yeah. This was the treatment people dished out to Panic, its kinda obviously not cool! This is certainly more general than the rest, btw.

That fan who pretended to be Brendon Urie-

The sheer extent Chelsey Lynn went to in order to catfish Ryan is literally incriminating.

Here are the details: https://www.tumblr.com/pathetic-at-the-disco/171916782926/the-time-that-ryan-ross-was-catfished-by-a-fan

Brendon and Ryan's friendship, according to this, had officially fractured in 2010 and Chelsey wanted to rekindle it. We'll never know the genuine intent and that sucks- not too mention that you could begin to believe that it was driven by a sickening desire to prove 'Ryden'. It sucks that this fractured any chance of Ryan and Brendon hanging again- because Ryan clearly wanted that. And of course, he was so embarrassed. Why would he trust fans, why would he want to interact with anyone after that?

I think its clear that this did have a lasting impact, because Ryan clearly wasnt interested in rekindling the friendship after it occurred, personally I would never want to look at Brendon again after those messages leaked, its just a very personal thing and it sucks. We know that it was awkies between them because of that video from c2016 (made up time based on his hair) where Brendon explains that yeah, they saw each other somewhere and the conversation was super awkward the kind of thing you get from someone you literally toured the world with.

That instance in itself would have been enough for me to flee the country personally, but maybe I'm projecting.

The Milk Fic-

If Brendon Urie knows about it and Gerard Way read it, everyone ever knows about the milk fic. And theres two ways you can address this. I read the milk fic when i was young and it was gross. and then I read it again when I was older and that shit isnt just gross- its like. abhorrent. appalling. offensive. I think the issue with this isn't that its RPF- it's the fact that it is disturbingly vulnerable, highkey is romanticising abuse, and was (and kinda still is) the punchline to too many jokes. Aged 10 I proudly watched 'emo bands on crack' and other videos of the sort a lot, and the milk fic was mentioned a lot. Literally today (october, 2024) I saw a TikTok about it.

I think if i was a celebrity I would want people writing shit about me. Yay for a bit of fanfic. But when the work that is associated with you so broadly on social media is that... blegh. Its like, violating. I love CrankThatFrank, always did, but I'm telling you if Ryan Ross knew anything of CTF's content, which I assume he did based off the interview, Ryan totally knew about the milk fic. And that is no hate, Franks content was banger, and he wasnt the only person who contributed to it. So. I dont know, I dont see why fans would write that, but obviously the only people who would write about celebrities are fans. Its backwards.

[Edit] just proving my point, the photo at the end was posted on Halloween in 2024 and it’s soooo off putting that I’m not even blocking out the user

Conclusion-

I was gonna do a chunk about all his dickriders online but. I hope for their sake and his sake he doesnt see any of it. It's unfortunately embarassing. I'm going to pretend that he is completely unaware of them therefore it cant impact the relationship he has with them.

Anyways. Unsure if the tone of this is perfect, I've not really done a grammar check and I very well could keep adding to this post. Thank you for taking the time to read this all <3 happy to explain my thinking

[remingtonisleithal]

Hang 'Em High

Pairing: vampire!Gerard x reader

Summary: part two of Cemetery Drive, Gerard fears for Y/N and they pair plot their escape

Warnings: the worst writing you may read. It's so full of quotes idek if it's original. Oh there's also mentions of bloody, vampires, bodies, stuff like that. TW: mentions of abuse and allusions to self harm

Word count: 1k

Author's Note: ... I know I said I'd write a part two... i did, but it's shit. Sorry. It's also a complete mix of songs and vibes with an underlying idea for a proper series I'll write later (let me know if you're interested)

It was 3 in the morning when Y/N heard the creaking of her bedroom window. A normal person would be scared. But Y/N enjoyed the shiver that went down her spine when she saw the shadow stretch across the floor as someone climbed through her window.

“I miss you, you know.” Gerard's voice was quiet.

“More than I miss you? Impossible.” Y/N responded. She climbed out of the covers and snuggled into Gerard's chest. It still felt wrong, how cold he was, that she could no longer hear his soothing heart beat.

But he was here. That was enough.

Gerard pulled out some slightly injured flowers from the inside of his jacket pocket. The flowers were dry and dead, but Y/N didn't mind. Decay was her favourite type of bouquet.

“How'd you manage these? Your new “friends”?” Y/N asked.

“Stole 'em from the cemetery. Don't worry, I guess technically they were mine anyway.” Gerard said with a wink.

Y/N blushed. He knew her so well.

“Anything to show you just how much you mean to me.” His voice was a hushed whisper. “This is kinda weird , but, no one has... threatened you or hurt you or anything recently, right?”

Y/N looked around suspiciously.

“No. ...Was someone supposed to? Is this about your new... I don't even know what to call them.”

“Pack. Some of us call each other family, as we're all we have, but I can't do it. They might look 16 but they're not teenagers, they're monsters. Murderers. Some of them don't do it to stay sane, it's become a game for them, hunting. I see them for the animals they are. We're a pack. No more, no less.”

Gerard released Y/N from their embrace and started to pace around the room.

“What's going on?” Y/N's tone was harsh, icy with fear.

“Well... there's been a problem. They're starting to get suspicious of me, where am I going and spending so many night, while still not bringing back any corpses.”

Fear made it's way through Y/N's veins as she tried to comprehend all her lover had seen since he died. All the things he'd done, lives he had to end. An image of a thousand bodies piled up made her shudder.

“They know I'm with a human. I come back smelling of blood sometimes,” Y/N started to shift around uncomfortably in her clothes as Gerard spoke. “No no, it's not your fault, honey, OK?”

Gerard sighed.

“It's just... the head of the group—call her Black Mariah—she's getting concerned, I've heard her whispering with others about me being a liability. They're thinking of doing something, I'm just not sure what. I promised you I'd never let them hurt you, it's just getting harder to keep that promise, without—”

“No. I know what you're going to say Gee, I would rather risk my life to see you every other night than be safe and never see you again.”

“You don't understand, that girl's not right in the brain!”

“And I am?” Y/N said. Gerard let out an exasperated sigh. “Wait. Did you say Mariah?”

“Yes, why, have you met her?” Gerard panicked.

All the colour drained from Y/N's face. “I think she's my new lab partner.”

“Fuck. Holy shit, goddammit!” Gerard cried, punching the air, ripping his suit jacket off and throwing it at the floor. “She knows, she FUCKING KNOWS.”

Y/N took a step back, frightened of her boyfriend for the first time. Gerard picked up on this.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just....” Gerard breathed hard, pacing around, before looking back at his girl with wild eyes. “What if we run? We could take to the highway. Just leave.”

“Gerard, I can't. I have to-”

“You have to what? Stay with your abusive family? Finish school to become a good little capitalist? You've been dreaming of running forever.”

Y/N looked around, unsure.

“Y/N/N, if you don't want to, we don't have to. It's entirely up to you. I just....” Gerard trailed off, looking out the his girlfriend's window to the pale moonlight. “I may not care if I live or die, but I can't handle the thought of you getting hurt.”

Y/N looked around her bedroom. The wallpaper falling from the wall. Her battle jacket in the corner. The leaking roof over her make-shift desk. The whole in the wall from when her father got mad.

She looked up at Gerard, a new fire in her eyes.

“What's your plan?”

“Run until it fades to black, run into the sunset.”

“Bullshit. It's not like you to just run. What else?”

Gerard looks around. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

Gerard placed something cold, metallic and heavy in Y/N's hands.

“Tomorrow. Dusk. When the sun is gone, grab your gun and meet me by the door.”

Y/N had followed Gerard's instructions to a T. When the sun had dipped below the horizon, Y/N was outside, bag packed, gun in hand, wearing the dress her ex hates, the perfect gothic date outfit. She needed to look the part, when they arrive.

The car ride was long and silent until Gerard deemed their surroundings empty enough. He pulled over and turned to Y/N.

“Tonight... Tonight isn't gonna be pretty. I just need you to know, I love you. If it goes bad, well... Don't stop, if I fall, and don't look back.”

“Gerard, don't. I can't- I can't lose you. Not again.”

“Y/N/N, please. Don't stop, bury me. Permanently.”

Y/N looked away, and swallowed the growing lump in her throat.

“Alright. Alright. But you need to promise me this. If they get me... can you stake my heart?”

“I-”

“Please. This is what needs to happen. If you die, I will run. If I die, you need to run. If they turn me... Don't let me have to live like that. I've seen the pain it's put you through. Please.”

Gerard merely brought Y/N into his arms, pulling her close, and whispered, “I'll never let them hurt you. Not tonight.”

Neither knew who he was trying to convince.

He placed a soft kiss on her, and with that, Y/N stepped in the coffin.

Taglist: @fandomfoodiedancer @smiling-girl @sab-falco @charlie-rulerofhell @positive-pessimistic-emo I really hope this isn't too disappointing lol

[actuallynotokay]

One too many.

Warnings: Mentions if alcohol?.

Summary: You, Gee and the band go out to a club to celebrate your new job, you end up having maybe too much fun…

“��Is this okay?,”

I tug at the tight-ish fabric, turning around so they all have full view of the outfit. I receive mixed reactions, Ray and Mikey both approve, Frank is uninterested as usual and Gee…he shakes his head.

“What’s wrong with it?,” I question him and he stands up.

“Absolutely not. People will stare at you…no.” He states and I frown.

“God you don’t have to treat me like a sister!” I storm to the bathroom.

~

The lights and music intrude any thought passing my mind about my outfit and hair choice. I follow them into the club, my shoulders slightly tensed and my bottom lip tucked in my teeth anxiously. Gerard looks around and finds a secluded seating area for us all, grabbing my hand and leading me in. I take a deep breath and observe my surroundings, looking at Gee… his hair fallen slightly over his eyes skin glistened with a thin layer of sweat giving him a little shine.

“Drinks?.” Frank asks and everyone agrees, i shake my head.

“Oh come on, you’ve got to have fun and celebrate your new beginning!.” Ray states excitedly, smiling at me and i roll my eyes with a smile, accepting the offer fir drinks.

A couple minutes later Frank comes back with…a lot of drinks, placing them down on the small rounded table as everyone grabs them the second they’re placed down. I take a few sips of my first drink and everyone applauds, making it seem as if i have just reached the legal drinking age.

“To you, for being the best woman ever.” Frank blurts out and Gee rolls their eyes, i cheers to it anyways and finish off my drink.

Many many drinks later… the room seemed to expand with people, the lights more brighter and the music louder. I sway my hips to the beat of the music, or perhaps to the made up beat in my head as nothing feels real…A pair of hands land on my hips and I gasp, they grip harder and move me in a way that makes my stomach churn. I look back to see a random man moving me.

“Wha…What are you doing?.” My words slur together as i make an attempt to get away from the situation.

In what felt like 2 seconds, the man was ripped from me by Gerard who has a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He whisks me out of the club , the sudden movement making my stomach churn more and more until…

“Fuck.”

Everything I had drank came right back up.

Gerard’s Pov.

“Ah shit.”

I stub the cigarette on a wall before beginning to pull her her back, rubbing her back to try soothe her. She finishes detoxing herself of all she drank and comes to…maybe standing? Whatever she’s currently doing it does not look very stable. Her hands lift in the air and she says:

“Okay! lets goo!!.” She smiles and I cock a brow.

“No.” I reply bluntly.

“What?. i’m fine gee…” She tries to convince me as she wipes her mouth on a piece of a receipt from her last shopping trip, I roll my eyes and hold her upright so she doesn’t pass out or throw up…again.

“i’m taking you home, you’re not going to continue partying in the state that you’re currently trying to convince me that you’re not in….” I firmly say and light up another cig whilst i wait for the others to help.

“Ugh.” She grunts before attempting to walk back into the club, I slide my arm around her stomach and lift her off the ground disarming her.

“GERARD ARTHUR FUCKING WAY!.” She screams and tries to escape my grip.

“That’s my name sugar’,” I sit her on a bench and the rest of the group joins us, frank making fun of how she’s slumped over my lap.

“y’know i dunno why we aren’t a thing.” She murmurs and cups my face, her eyes barely open.

“What do you mean?.” Her words hit something inside of me, I daren’t try question in her current state but I couldn’t help it.

“Well, Mikey said you like me. Why aren’t we a thing.” I shoot my brother a stare who is currently hiding behind Ray.

“We’re both at different stages honey, plus you are way too pissed to be talking about this right now.”

“b..

Without finishing her sentence she passes out on my lap…

-

I manage to get her back to my place, putting her in my room so she can sleep off her intoxicated state. She subconsciously curls into the foetal position. I sit for a little while, running my fingers through her hair, waiting to see if she’d wake up needing me or something stupid that my mind had made up. Perhaps maybe the conversation will continue… who knows.

[omegapheromone]

Oh my god I forgor to post about it bc I was too focused on getting back home and then cooling off from being outside in the sun but when I went to run errands (and picked up my drinks) but I had such a weird experience. Got hit on by a teenager. I'm assuming they must've been under 18 since they were lounging around on the entrance/doorway steps of a closed business front and in this weather, were they of drinking age, they would've likely been at a park or hanging out at a bar terrace instead. Plus the general demeanor and speech patterns kinda made me assume it too, and just as our lord and savior Gerard Way once said, Teenagers do scare the living shit out of me, actually. And I was very anxious!

Anyway, I was walking past them to the business next door from the closed one- they were chatting about whatever and I paid no attention bc honestly? My attention was 80% in trying not to get sweat in my eyes from my long ass hair, 10% in focusing on doing errand tasks, and the last 10% in actually getting from place to place. Iirc they were saying something and maybe commented on my appearance or something just between themselves, idk and honestly don't care either, I get weird looks enough to not mind people commenting or staring at this point. It was only really when I walked out and past them again after my errands that the one guy in the group (was like 3-4 teens, most of them girls and like one guy?) Kind of leaned forwards a bit and asked "hey what's your snapchat" (in common use here) loudly enough that I registered after like 2 and a half steps past them that he'd actually said it to ME, very obviously, because there was nobody else around and the girls were not sitting anywhere towards my direction. Of course at that point I was already well past them and continuing to walk away since it hit me with a delay but like.

I was REALLY contemplating on whether I should turn around and go, "geez kid, how OLD even are you, I'm pretty sure I'm literally ancient compared to you- what is this, granny-fetish weekly support group? Don't bother your elders like that" Or something once I realized he'd genuinely spoken to me, but at that point one of the girls laughed at him and said something along the lines of "(they) just skipped you like nothing lmfao" (again, honestly, I didn't, at any point, even look directly at them, neither when entering nor leaving the business next door, so I mean, she was right, I suppose?) And I figured to just let them sort their own stuff out, because kids, and also not my problem anyway. I was just running errands and minding my own business to begin with.

It wasn't rude or anything though, like there was no demanding or catcall-ish vibe, he just seemed to sort of? Be hitting on me at random and didn't do it in an uncomfortable or creepy way, I was just mildly taken aback when it happened because like, idk if I should feel honoured or not, that some 16-18y old kid would look at me and think I'm probably about their age, or if I should be worried that this is why I'm not having success in dating people I'm actually interested in, because I'm frequently seen as younger than I am. I suppose it's a compliment of some sort, but I can't help but feel sort of weird and uncomfortable about it. I'd guess that it was probably not a serious attempt at hitting on me, more likely just a dare from one of the girls or something. I'm quite used to that considering that used to be exactly the kind of shit my bullies pulled on me way back in elementary+secondary school, and now I date, according to my friends at least, "way below my own league" (very much in a joking tone, but I figure there's probably some truth in it too). Idk, I'm just rambling because I'm still not sure how to feel. If it WAS genuine, well- why? Was it because I wore short shorts with some frills at the legs? Or maybe just because I have some visible tattoos and piercings and look 'interesting'? Maybe it was the backpack for shopping that made me appear younger? Idk man. I just can't see WHY anyone would bother, I suppose. Especially when I was SUFFERING in the heat outside, I'm pretty sure I had sweat running down my neck and legs, and my hair was dripping with it + I was feeling super weak, like my legs were shaking and I was just Not Feeling Well. I definitely did not look cute, if anything my expression was probably that of someone who wanted to just get the hell back home as soon as possible, which was quite accurate. Idk. I just don't see any reason for why a kid would ask something like that unless it was one of those "hey ask that weird kid out as a joke" type pranks/dares.

[frankiegirl]

Hiii I’m not og anon but holy shittt Gerard having to all but toss frank off them so they can fling the van door open and they hardly even get it open before vomits spilling from their mouth and all over the pavement. Poor ray up front has to hear all of it too :(( frank is half asleep still so so sick but trying his best to hold Gerard’s hair back. Perhaps the smell triggers frank into his own vomiting spell 👀 Gerard’s so out of it but feel themself being pushed to the side of the seat so Frank can lean over their lap and hang his head out the door to vomit

OH SHIT SORRY I am somehow just seeing this !!!!

Gerard is swallowing back as best they can as Ray is pulling over, the gravelly side of the road doing nothing to help them. They’re spewing before the door is fully open, spraying vomit forcefully from their nose, some of it splattering against the door handle, gathering in the weird plastic pockets. Most of it hits the ground though, and another heave is ripping up on the tails of the last before Gerard can even take a breath.

Ray is cursing up front, a hand covering his own mouth and pointedly trying not to peek in the mirror at Gerard. Mikey is turned around, alarmed entirely because he was asleep up front too and doesn’t understand why they stopped so quickly and abruptly until he sees Gerard hanging out of the back. He’s getting out to come around the back of the van and help however he can.

Frank wakes up roughly, a tiny moan escaping his lips before he sees Gerard leaning away from him, lower back exposed. He realizes they aren’t moving anymore and another spray of heavy sick splashes on the pavement. Frank reaches up with trembling hands, trying to hold Gerard’s hair back in his shaking fingers. But oh, Gerard is getting so sick. There’s so much vomit, and Frank can’t help but look at the door and the patterns spattered there. He feels his own gorge rise when the stench burns the hair in his nostrils. He barely has the time to lean heavily over Gerard’s lap, bony knee in his stomach pushing vomit up Frank’s throat quicker than he was expecting.

WHEEEEEW BOY 🥵🥵🥵🥵

[eclipsecrowned]

1, 9 //@hearsthephone

1. what is a deal-breaking trait in another muse for romantic consideration? this can be as detailed or as not as you like (to extend: if your muse doesn’t necessarily have one, why?)

One thing Zorya is fully, unshakably aware of in terms of romantic deal-breakers is this: She wants someone who stays. She wants someone to communicate with her. That tragic romantic ideal of 'leaving to find myself' or 'it's not you, it's my enemies' would just infuriate her. The rogue that steals away in the night to 'spare her' some facet of their lifestyle will be permanently blacklisted rather than welcomed back upon a return visit. If you aren't going to be open and hang around for a bit, she's not going to bite.

She's got enough ephemeral bullshit in her job to be able to tolerate it from her love life. Her work typically deals with having to wheedle the truth out of situations, so she's not going to come home and do the same with her partner. Really, what she wants is just... The barest bones of respect before opening herself up to romantic potential.

9. name three other canon characters from any sort of media that you could compare/draw inspiration to your muse & explain why (to extend: can you detail a specific moment or trait that makes you draw this comparison?).

Lestat de Lioncourt: Yeah... Yeah. A musical prodigy who is easily led astray by their emotions, mainly their desire to be the center of attention at all times. Unlucky in love and has a special talent for just pissing people off as first impression. Has deep wells of charm and a capacity for danger besides. Sort of a weak baby gay when it comes to any sort of open conflict. I've alluded to Zorya being a fan of the in-universe novels, but specifically she's the kind of red flag who read TVL and went 'omg he is just like me...' I as her mun cannot wholly disagree.

Karou: Mystical oddity of a girl brought up too proud and too self-assured, before getting pulled into greater perils and maturing significantly. A diligent practitioner of specific magic lineage/practice handed down to her by her father. Small but fierce, with a habit of going for the peaceful resolution over open violence while taking no shit. And in the less idealistic, I think about how Karou is described as so otherworldly and graceful. Given her parents, I think 'otherworldly' was always going to be in the cards for Zo. As for grace, well, she's petite and is well-acquainted with the stage. She probably has to consciously make an effort to walk like a big bad with some hands instead of just gliding across life.

Gerard Keay: Much as her brother wants to be this, Zorya IS the Gerry equivalent. Born with an immunity to the horrors, or a least a much higher tolerance for them due to her ancestry, she is now largely dedicated to helping protect humanity and have a laugh at the expense of the abyss she forces to blink first. They're counterculture, they're socially awkward, and they both love stupid jokes! That, and both have that hidden heart of gold beneath their reputations/mystique.

[alittle-annihilation]

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG • 20 OCT 2024

finally got to do warped 2004 😭 this weekend was beyond incredible and i am so glad i was able to go! acknowledging that wanting a band to keep putting out the same album is Bad, i really did love the concept of celebrating a particular album, especially those that came out at an approximate time period. how many of these were in the same rotation on my fucking ipod shuffle clip in 2007?! i’ve said this before but this era has always been a fave musically to live through initially as an angsty pre/teen and now finally getting to see live as an adult has been such an experience. it really felt like a rare treat

anyway, every year from 2002 to 2012 was shouted out during the say, the number of “who had this on your myspace” or “who ripped it off limewire” was hilarious. i got to see so many bands that i didnt think i’d get the chance to see and even if i hadnt listen to them in literal decades, it was a nice reminder of why i did like it back in the day. even if everything was crap as a teen, the music was always a highlight and i’m glad we got to come together to celebrate that

highlights / thoughts

pierce the veil ft kellin quinn king for a day LIVE 😭😭😭 the way it was on my soccer pre-game playlist. the way i BLOGGED about that song on THIS blog

i always forget simple plan was early emo exposure to me. i had no business listening to no pads no helmets just balls in the year when when i was 7, but i did, and i sure was a kid whose life is a nightmare. i sure was writing lyrics to welcome to my life in my history notebook in 6th grade. like damn those are roots! ANYWAY THEY PLAYED MY ALIEN!!!!

unfortunately unironically the entirety of 3OH!3’s set was So Good. i listened to want so hard late middle school / early high school and it was like a sleeper agent was activated inside of me and i remembered every word perfectly. yes this shit was absolutely cringey as hell to watch, but i still got down

TRAVIS MCCOY OF GYM CLASS HEROS CUPID’S CHOKEHOLD ‼️

i really liked fob’s different background nods to their different ~eras. i would love to see an extended set for these bc the attention to detail was BEAUTIFUL (patricks hat changes, album art rendering, call backs, etc) for just 2 songs per section

but also lets talk about folie a deux. and las vegas. and how the CD was a christmas present for me 2008 when we were there visiting family and how i spent every night in the desert with my walkman listening to that album and hanging on to every word. and how fob played SO MANY FOLIE SONGS!!!!!! including my love headfirst slide. anyway all that said she’s my winona is the ultimate folie/vegas song for me and i would have Died if they dragged her out

also taking a moment to be grateful that they did not bring out brendon urie. like that could have been a reality. i had the thought that it could happen for a 20 dollar nose bleed sitch and did NOT speak that into existence. thank u emo gods

my chemical romance literally puts on a good performance every single time. THE CHILLS

also seeing the moment gerard sits down, looks up, and smiles into the camera (u know what im talking abt) in real time made me cry

it was so interesting seeing the different bands interpretation of “play this album” the ones who faithfully did it front to back by tracklisting. those who changed up the order but stuck to the album. to sneaking a few other crowd favourites in here and there. to just playing what the fuck ever

not band related but i was pretty impressed with accessibility & visibility at the festival. it’s likely i simply wasn’t paying attn at other fests, but so many ADA sections, so many ASL interpreters, kulture city, and lots of water/med tents every few steps. i was glad to see everyone getting to enjoy what has been one of the best music experiences i’ve been to in a while

that said holy fuck my joints, my wrists are still not ok, and im completely sleep deprived. i am feeling 30 babey

bands seen (*denotes full set)

neck deep

mayday parade*

underoath

we the kings

3OH!3*

the story so far

coheed and cambria

cobra starship*

simple plan*

taking back sunday

the starting line

motion city soundtrack*

bayside

pierce the veil

jimmy eat world*

a day to remember

boys like girls*

fall out boy*

my chemical romance*

[kurulover]

HeY

Do you like This??? Stuff???

Do you tag it as “gender” and “oooooo” and “what drugs was op on”??

Great! Now you can get some of it for Way Under minimum wage prices!! Like $10-20 USD!! Because my Friends need to live!!

I don’t give a shit!! I’ll draw YOU!! I’ll draw YOUR FURSONA!! I’ll draw YOUR FURSONA JACKING IT IN A MINISKIRT! I’ll draw YOUR FURSONA JACKING IT IN A MINISKIRT WITH THEIR GUTS HANGING OUT!! I’ll draw GERARD WAY JACKING YOUR FURSONA OFF IN A MINISKIRT WITH BOTH THEIR GUTS HANGING OUT! And I’ll draw worse!!

Are you thinking “wait this post looks like ass Kuru why isn’t it fancy” well!! That’s because I am a traditional artist!! So in addition to me psychotically scribbling whatever you desire at 3 am, you’ll get

- the physical copy of the art

- a hand written thanks for saving my friends note

- additional art maybe??

- a cool rock, shell, or possibly a bone

Yknow if you want to give an internet person your P.O. Box and hang it on your wall or whatever.

Normally I refuse to do commissions and always neglect art requests BUT this is for someone who isn’t me so it’s okay I guess. All payment should be directed to @sentient-cloud. Also they’ll send you cat pics.

{DEAL$!!! For YOU]!!!

[foundationsofdickay]

MCR Cincinnati 2022

(Also known as "No, I was not there, but I already make these recaps for my friends so why not post them here too". Warning that these are just the parts that I found most interesting, not necessarily a full summary of the shows)

Setlist:

[Image Description: the setlist for the MCR Cincinnati show over an image of a broken angel statue. There is a drawing book with The MCR Archive written on it in the corner, next to the hashtags #MCRchive and#MCRTour. The setlist reads Foundations, Venom, Hang Em High, Give Em Hell, Nanana, The Ghost of You, Teenagers, Boy Division, Destroya, Black Parade, The World is Ugly, Bury Me In Black, Helena, Vampire Money, Mama, and Famous Last Words. There is then a line followed by the songs from the encore: Headfirst for Halos, Not Okay, and Sleep.]

• Gerard: green shirt, Frank: white shirt w black vest (w his logo on it) and compression sleeves/shirt, mikey: white tank top w something on it but I can’t tell, Ray: his shirt has something on it but I can’t tell

• Frank stole Mikey’s line in Vampire Money, Ray and Mikey did their usual lines

• Frank did the destroya moans but it’s too quiet to even tell tbh. he needs to moan louder so I can call him a whore

• Sang happy birthday for someone, Mikey shouted them out on his Instagram

• Bury Me in Black is on the setlist because of an artist Gerard mentored in 2016? ig they have kept in touch, her Instagram is ilanadimarco

• Drum says “Smile with your eyes”

• Gerard kinda laid down while singing bury me in black

• Gerard gave a speech about how headfirst for halos has dark lyrics but now they sing about it and it’s “joyous” because they’ve “made it through that shit” and everyone is going to make it/has made it through

• Frank spit but did NOT catch it in his mouth which is sad bc now I can’t check that off my bingo

[whchenlvr]

hi, i hope you are doing well, may i request our badass sibling reader but this time with enjang cast, dean and sam (grape) please. have a good day!

i decided to add jack too cause why not 💕

joining the union. eunjang ver ;

weak hero x badass sibling gn!reader

gray yeon

you admired him. you’d never seen him in person, but when you grow up, you want to be like eunjang’s white mamba. he was the reason you started taking boxing lessons after school, especially since you would get bullied in elementary school. you met gray when you graduated to eunjang, but you had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you asked “so, who’s the white mamba?”

ben park

when ben saw you picking fights after school one day, he felt obligated to jump in. you had it handled, you always did, but to ben, you were some scrappy kid bored out of your mind… which wasn’t 100% off from the truth. you were small for your age and extremely fiery, so when you went around challenging people to fights after defeating the previous duo, ben picked you up from the straps of your backpack and carried you kicking and screaming to eunjang, where he told you that you couldn’t be reckless. it was quite the introduction, but you never had someone care about your well-being like that and grew fond of the brother-like figure ever since.

alex go

all you wanted was to sing some karaoke before going home to study for your exams. that was all. unfortunately, the dumbass in the booth next to you was either losing in a fight or doing something that was not meant to be done in a karaoke booth. imagine your surprise when you opened the door and saw one guy trying to fight four. when the dude with a scar on his nose noticed you, he immediately went into older brother mode. “get out of here, kid! it’s dangerous!” of course, you had to show him that you weren’t just any “kid” and helped defeat the rest of the people ganging up on him.

gerard jin

you were walking home one day when you heard someone fighting. you should have just kept walking, but part of you wanted to know what was going on. that’s when you realized it was 3 v 1, and the one sucker wasn’t using his hands to fight. though he looked like he was, surprisingly, winning, you couldn’t stop yourself from jumping in and helping to take down the final guy. “why didn’t you punch back?!” you scolded him as if you were the older one, and broccoli-head couldn’t help but crack a grin.

dean kwon

dad. sorry, i don’t know what came over me. You’d be walking home from school when you notice someone following you. usually, you’d turn around and beat the living shit out of them, but you recently injured your hand in a fight and knew you’d be at a disadvantage. that’s when you’d see him. “johnny!” you’d yell the first boy name you could think of and run up to him, hugging the stranger and pray he’ll play along. he caught on relatively quick and must have shot some scary look at the person following you, because when you turned back, they were gone. you learned his name was dean, and he gave you his contact in case you felt someone was following you again.

sam lee

your meeting sam wasn’t very significant. you’d been at cram school when his gang blocked all exits to search for eunjang’s white mamba, and you’d managed to take care of the few goons blocking your way out long enough to escape. of course, he had to track you down and ask how someone so young could fight so well. you refused to talk, but he was intrigued enough to pay someone to keep tabs on you at all times after that.

jack kang

you were tired one evening and decided to sit and rest your feet in an abandoned alleyway, since you hardly even saw anyone hang out around there anyway. that day just so happened to be the day jack kang decided to take a different route home from school. thinking he was some hooligan trying to sneak up on you, you’d catch him by surprise and punch him right in the face. you’d been friends ever since :)

[robinrunsfiction]

Cutting Me Open, Then Healing Me Fine

Pairing: Basement Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: @nordic-fangirl​ (sorry tumblr at your original request!) Word Count: ~1300 Author’s Note: A bit of fluffy, some cliché moments, but that’s fun sometimes. I hope everyone, especially the requestor, enjoys the story. I’m afraid it’s not my best work ever, but I’m trying to get over this writers block.

“(YN)?” Gerard watched as his friend blinked, shook her head, before looking up at him.

“Yea?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yea, why?”

Gerard ran a hand through his hair. “You’ve been a million miles away all day. For quite a while actually,” he replied. “You didn’t even hear when I asked if you wanted to get pizza. I thought that would get your attention for sure.”

“Oh,” she laughed lightly. “I just got a lot on my mind I guess.”

“Like what?” He asked, hoping she wouldn’t think he was being nosey.

“I… I think I’m gonna break up with Jordan,” she answered, staring at the floor.

He felt a mix of emotions bubble up immediately; relief, excitement, nervousness, anger. “He’s not hurting you, is he? He’s always seemed sorta… aggressive.”

“Oh no! Nothing like that,  it’s just… I don’t feel, I mean I feel like…” she paused and sighed. “I don’t like him like that. He just isn’t the person for me.”

Gerard nodded in understanding. “If you wanna talk more about it, you know I’m here.”

(YN) smiled and nodded back. “Yea, that’s why I-” she cut herself off. “That’s why you’re one of my closest friends.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she was staring back at the floor. Gerard was just thankful that she didn’t see the look of disappointment he was sure he wasn’t hiding well.

“So pizza?” He asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

“Yea, sure, let’s go,” she smiled.

~

It’d been a few days since Gerard last hung out with (YN). Nothing more had been said about her relationship once they left the house, and Gerard didn’t want to pry if she didn’t want to talk about it. He just hoped that she’d be happier once it was over. It was as if a dark cloud had been hanging over her for the longest time, and he hated that for her.

He had been reading when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, did you hear?” Ray asked immediately, his tone bordering on giddy.

“Hear what?” Gerard replied, a little annoyed by his friend’s antics.

“(YN) and Jordan are done.”

Gerard almost dropped the phone. “Whe-where’d you hear that?”

“Here at the cafe! It just happened right here! He was pissed.”

“Holy shit,” Gerard mumbled, completely stunned.

“So what are you gonna do?” Ray asked.

“Whaddya mean?” Gerard asked, feeling himself blush.

“Gee, I’m hiding from my manager in the back, so I can’t really talk. But we both know how you feel about her! Now’s your chance!”

“She just got out of a relationship! Besides, she said I’m her closest friend-”

“Shit, I gotta go, my manager is looking for me, but now is your chance, man! Do it!” Ray said before hanging up.

Gerard shook his head before getting up and pacing his room. “I should be there for her,” he muttered to himself. “Not for me, for her. She’d do the same for me.”

But no sooner than he’d pulled on a clean shirt, he heard the doorbell. He raced up the stairs and found (YN) on the other side.

“Hey,” she smiled, but she sounded tired.

“Hey. Ray told me,” Gerard blurted out.

(YN) laughed as she walked in, just as big raindrops began to fall from the angry sky. “I had a feeling he’d say something when I saw he was working.”

“Are you ok?”

“Yea,” she nodded, following him back down to his room. “Like I told you before, he just wasn’t right for me. I think if anything, he made me realize what I want, what I deserve in a relationship, ya know?”

Gerard nodded sympathetically as they both sat down on his bed. “Wanna watch a movie or something to take your mind off it?”

“Yes please,” she nodded as she settled back against the pillows like she’d done countless times before. But when Gerard glanced over his shoulder, he noticed her smiling at the framed photo of the two of them next to his lamp.

When he had a movie on, he settled in next to her, close but not quite touching, but to his delight, she started to snuggle into his side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and could have sworn she sighed contentedly.

“Up for another?” Gerard asked as the end credits began to roll.

“Sure, sounds good. I’m gonna run to the bathroom before we start the next one,” (YN) she said getting up.

Gerard nodded and fiddled with the remote until he noticed that she’d left her phone and she was getting a call. He didn’t pay much attention until the screen lit up again. He picked it up and saw the name on the display.

“Leave her alone,” Gerard said as soon as he had answered.

“Ha! I shoulda fuckin known,” Jordan snapped. “I shoulda known that you were the reason she left me.”

“I don’t, I’m not… what the fuck are you talking about?”

“She never shut up about you, I shoulda fuckin known that when she said she was in love with someone else it was you.”

“She loves me?” Gerard said slowly, completely stunned, but not totally believing the man on the other end of the phone.

“Gee?” (YN)’s voice was small as she stood in the doorway.

“Yea, she does. I shoulda known,” Jordan repeated before hanging up.

Gerard jumped up and hurried over to her. “I’m sorry, I answered because I was gonna tell him off for harassing you ‘cause he was calling and calling and he said,” Gerard couldn’t get the words out, the look of fear on (YN)’s face overwhelmed him.

“I just wish I could have been the one to tell you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, as tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’ll go.”

She brushed past him and grabbed her bag from where she dropped it. She started to reach for her phone, still in Gerard’s hand, before shaking her head and rushing up the stairs.

It took a moment for the shock of everything that had just happened to wear off and for Gerard to run up the steps and out the door. He worried he'd be too late, that (YN) would already be gone.

Instead, he found her sitting in her car, her head against the steering wheel as she sobbed. He ran through the rain that was now pouring down, climbing in the passenger side and pulling her to him as she sobbed against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I’m sorry Gee, I should have told you right away, but I was worried how you’d react  and now everything’s ruined."

Gerard ran his hand over her wet hair and shushed her softly. "No, no, it's ok sugar. Nothing’s ruined, nothing at all.”

(YN) pulled back and looked up at him. Even though her eyes were red and puffy, she was still perfect to him. “What do you mean?” She asked tentatively.

“I mean,” he paused, his heart suddenly leapt into his throat. “I’ve been in love with you for… forever. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, I could only hope that one day it might be with me.”

She reached up and brushed away a strand on wet black hair that had stuck to his face. “I love you Gerard, so much. I want you, you’re all I want.”

There was only a moment of hesitation between the two before their lips crashed together. (YN) let out a small whimper as they deepened the kiss. One of her hands in his hair, the other, gripping at his shirt. He held her tight by the waist, not wanting her to run away from him again. But when they pulled back, (YN) began to cry again.

“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked, panicked.

“I’m finally so happy,” she laughed between the tears.

A smile broke across Gerard’s face as he pulled her to him again and held her tight as the rain poured down around them.

[awsugar]

I don’t understand why some big mcr blogs slate anyone who believes gerard and frank had a thing, like our view didn’t arise from nowhere there’s clearly evidence that has led us to think this. I get disliking those who push frerard in frank and Gerard’s faces (barely anyone does this nowadays) but slating people for believing they had something in the past is kinda ridiculous imo. Franks solo music speaks volumes but if you read into it you’re demonised as a frerardie

mmmmm am i down to clown today... ok i will speak.

actually im going to put this under a cut bc my last ask was a long one and i feel like i am going to talk about this for way too long bc its 1am and im honestly a little tipsy.

note: i just finished answering this it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time and i dont think the person who asked this is even going to read it but i apparently have a lot of thoughts and no one ever wants to listen to me lol 

firstable yea actually unfortunately anytime they do a livestream, or anytime anyone SOMEHOW RELATED to them does a livestream. there are ppl in the chat talking about frerard. they both have comments off on insta now, i didnt actually read the comments that much and franks have been off for ages but im positive there were people in the comments talking about frerard. i mean fuck, franks LAST tweet he qrted someone who tagged him in the replies of a pic of The Kiss. so i mean yea its definitely not a majority but it still happens extremely frequently.

this is like. genuinely really funny to me bc im sure frank didnt see it, i think he knows enough not to look at the chat for the most part. but the moral is that its 2021 and people STILL dont know how to act. i wont go on about it but it actively enrages me anytime i watch a stream. rule one of real person fandoms is keep all that shit in your fan spaces. which is actually why i prefer tumblr. none of them are on here. actively engaging in mcr fandom on twitter is too close for comfort, especially since frank follows a handful of my friends and also like. knows me.

so like moral of my most times unavoidable wall of text is that ppl are right to be frustrated with the fans who act this way. i am extremely frustrated with them. and i think for the people who have never like tinhatted or anything, this type of behavior stands out and makes an impression and becomes the like. poster child for ppl who are like 'hmmmmm but what if.' about the frank and gerard stuff.

anyway, moving on, i think a lot of peoples hang up is that they view it as rpf. which i have a couple things to say about actually. its no secret that i have read a lot of rpf. i had never heard of fanfiction until i started getting into mcr in 2008. that was my introduction. and at the time, in that community, it was completely normal. and it was for a loooooooooong time. i knew of people who didnt read fic or felt weird about it but the majority of people i interacted with DID read fic. and on top of that, the people who didn;t were nothing like they are today. we all got along. no one was like demonizing people who did read fic. in 2012 when i think mcr tumblr was at its peak, ALL of the most popular blogs were "frerardies" (hate that term). they all talked about and recced fic and a lot of them wrote it too. everyone had a boyfriends tag. anyway when i came BACK to the mcr fandom in 2016 after a couple years away post-breakup it was still like that. people talked about fic all the time and you didnt have to like, hide it in fear of being labeled as a terrible person.

i always discussed this stuff, fic and theories, openly on this blog. for YEARS. the first time i noticed the rpf shift was 2019 tbh, when my blog was suspended and i (not related) had a mental health crisis and i spent a handful of months off tumblr, when i remade on a different blog suddenly it seemed like people were like noooo you cant talk about that. ppl who read fic are disgusting. if you think something happened between them you're homophobic. i was like honestly baffled bc i didnt know how it had seemingly changed so much in a matter of like 4 months or so. but thats the society we live in now lmao.

anyway the other thing about rpf is that i think most of these people are hypocrites. bc almost everyone makes an exception for unholyverse. theyre like ok i will dabble in the most popular fic and see what its about while still demonizing the people who read OTHER fics. like ugh.

also i have noticed its an age thing. a lot of the time. almost every mcr fan i personally interact with or know, which is a lot of people, read fic, used to read fic and just sort of grew out of it, and/or (usually and) believe something happened between them. but everyone i interact with is an adult and all of my closer friends are long time mcr fans like me. i feel like the percentage of fans who are minors who are extremely anti-rpf is way higher than the percentage of adults. and i think thats just due to the fan culture we grew up with and the fact that young people a lot of times are like..it seems very performative in an attempt to be the least problematic person that ever lived.

also random side note its really funny to keep updated with this debate on twitter. they literally yoyo there. frerard is ok on a bi-weekly basis.

anyway back to what i was originally saying which was that people view tinhatting as rpf and therefor not okay. which like idk maybe i sound crazy but i also always said this when i was in the phandom and discussing like dan and phil and whether or not they were soulmates before they came out, i don't think tinhatting is rpf. or like. idk theres a part of me that can see why people think rpf is a bad thing even though if i was famous i wouldnt care if people wrote fics about me. but like. analyzying the real life things that people have done and said in public (important). in order to try to contextualize their relationship or understand that dynamic better. well i mean first of all its not fiction. but like i do think its a lot different than writing explicit bdsm fic about them.

and i know a lot of the people on here who dont like actively participate in these conversations do like. see where we're coming from. with the frank lyrics and millions and like all of that stuff. they just dont talk about it. i mean *I* have stopped mostly talking about it at all unless its vague, due to the current climate and opinion. and sometimes we'll all have a moment of hysteria where we've all decided its ok to speak about. me right now apparently.

anyway im positive no one read all of this. i need to learn how to be brief but ive been saying that my whole life. but you're right. to me its clear that there's a bigger story behind it than frank and gerard just being buddies who were in a band together. a logical conclusion. and i wish we could just all get along again instead of people being sooooo mad about it.

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Hi! I have a request if that’s okay! Reader and Gerard meet at one of mcr shows and he finds out their a comic book artist and he becomes really interested, from then on they develop a relationship and it’s just pure fluff.

Title: Comic Book Romance

A/N: Just so y’all know this is unedited because it’s late and I’m tied because my damn melatonin has just decided to cease working but this was an adorable request so I had to jump on it. Hope you enjoy! Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader Word count: 4,271 words Warnings: Some swearing, alcoholism, some angst but mainly fluff

“Why am I here again?” You asked Jamia with a clear lack of amusement evident in your face and voice.

“To see Frank!” She exclaimed. “He hasn’t been home in six months, and they’re playing here, so I wanted you to meet the guys before hand.” “But why me?” She huffed giving you a strong ‘disapproving mother’ look before turning around, grabbing your hand, and speed walking through the back doors of this tiny venue.

“Because you’re one of my closest friends, and you happen to not have met any of them.” She told you with a sigh, “Just trust me on this, okay? You’re gonna get along great with them.”

You gave in with an eye-roll, following her around the back corridors until she found the back room they were hanging out with. And with a quick open up the door, Frank practically pounced on the women next to you, which left you in the awkward position of standing next to the only two people in the room who were going above and beyond in terms of PDA levels.

“Oh, right,” Jamia finally let go after a quick catch up with her boyfriend, “Guys, this is Y/N.” She pointed to you as you meekly smiled and looked around.

The group was interesting for sure. First, you had a small guy, skinny and in glasses. Definitely gave off dweeb vibes. Then another guy with mad curly hair, he seemed pretty chill. And the last one with little chubby cheeks, a lot like your own, and shaggy black hair that cascaded over his forehead and into his eyes a little in an awkward side part.

“This is Mikey, Ray, and Gerard.” She went one by one introducing them as they waved at you offering their own smiles.

You weren’t sure where to start, but Gerard promptly stepped in offering a quick “hi” and some conversation starters, easy enough. You scanned his face briefly, he was definitely cute. Not necessarily the dictionary definition of handsome, maybe not hot either, but cute.

“So, what do you do?” He asked as his first question, a good conversation starter.

“Um, I’m a comic book author.” You smiled sheepishly, most people found it to be too niche of a topic to feel comfortable to talk about. Yet his face had a sudden glow as his mouth dropped open a little. Shit, he’s judging you. “And you must do all of this.” You laughed lightly, looking around at all of the instrumental equipment packed into the small room.

“Yeah, I do.” He smiled, “But I was actually a comic book artist, before all of this.” Your face immediately grew to distortion, as your head shot back to look at him.

“No way.” You breathed out, “Where did you work?” “I interned at DC, got a job at Cartoon Network.” “That’s sick.” You smiled, “Cartoon Network would be fun.”

“Nah, they were a bunch of dicks.” He smiled as you chuckled. “What about you?” “Marvel.” You smiled with a bit of pride showing. You were a Marvel kid at heart, had grown up on it and you were more than happy to brag about your dream job achievement right out of college.

“That’s amazing!” He gushed, sitting up a bit, “What do you work on?” “Well, I started out with some X-Men stuff, they’ve never been much of my thing though. So they ended up moving me to Avengers, more specifically Scarlett Witch.” “That’s actually insane.” He smiled, “How old are you.”

“23.” You replied.

“I was 23 and writing pitches that ended up in the trash,” He scoffed, “And you’re working on one of the most well known characters in the world.” “Granted, I don’t have as much work as a comic artist. You guys have to write stuff from scratch, illustrate, pitch. I just sit at a desk all day and write. It’s practically paradise.” “So I assume you like writing?” “Creative writing degree,” You quickly responded, “So yeah, just a little.” He chuckled.

Your conversations went on and on. Turns out you had a lot more in common than you could imagine with this guy, and he was getting even more attractive by the second. The way he spoke, his small little laugh, his smile... okay, maybe he was hot the more you looked at him.

“Gee, we gotta go.” You heard one of the guys yell from behind you, quickly noticing the room was empty.

“Ah, shit.” He replied with a sigh, “Would you mind if I asked for your number? So we could maybe, ya know-” “Talk? Yeah sure.” You smiled as he handed you a piece of paper and a pen. “I’ll see ya later Gerard.” “You too, Y/N.”

“Gee-” You sighed as he stumbled into your apartment. It was 2 am, and the last thing you wanted to deal with the night before a major meeting with your bosses was an extremely drunk, borderline wasted Gerard.

“Please don’t be mad!” He slurred, running his shoulder into a wall on accident. His face was filled with desperation, creased features highlighted by the singular lamp on in the whole place. “I was just nearby and starting to get sleepy and-” “I know,” You replied, his excuses sounding more and more like a broken record player after the weeks of this occurring. It was probably months at this point, but your brain was far more keen on blocking out any numerical values of how many times Gerard had abruptly disturbed your night in his drunken states.

You closed your door, locking it again, and went to a small basket you had placed next to your TV stand where you kept two blankets and a pillow for Gerard as these occurrences had become far to consistent to not have something on hand. You weren’t sure who was more pathetic: him getting drunk and coming to your house in the middle of the night at least once a week, or you containing to help him for nothing in return. You were getting sick of it.

“Here you go.” You sighed, handing them to him as he quickly figured out his way. And within minutes, he was sound asleep.

The next morning you woke up and continued with your usual morning routine, walking out to your living room to see a still asleep Gerard on your couch. With a sigh, you went to your medicine cabinet grabbing a few aspirin and a cup of water, placing it on the coffee table across from the couch and writing a note.

Hey G,     Take as much time as you need. Pretty sure I have some frozen waffles in the freezer... just try not to burn my apartment down. I have to go to work, but I’ll talk to you later. Hope you get to feeling better.         Best,            Y/N/N

And with that, you left, ready to take on the day good as new. And most of your day had gone fine... better than fine, maybe. The meetings with your bosses went great, you got a small raise to your pay after the success of your last strip. You took a little bit of a longer lunch break to celebrate over a breakfast sandwich from your favorite spot down the street, and finished out the day strong with finishing the most recent strip, giving you the next day, which happened to be a Friday, off.

With a sigh of both relief and happiness you stepped into the oasis of your home to be met with another poor Gerard, pacing in the living room. “Gerard?” You asked in a beyond confused voice.

“Y/N I’m so sorry,” He replied as he ran over to you, standing over you, and brushing his fingers aggressively through his hair. “What’s wrong?” You asked as you scanned his panicked face.

“I”m wrong,” He replied, “I can’t believe I came here drunk again, and you had to take care of me, and today was your big meeting, I remember and it and began freaking out because you really should’ve gotten a full night of sleep but I came in and-” “Gee,” You interrupted him in a soft voice, trying to get him to stop. “It’s okay.” You softly smiled. “I would prefer you here drunk then on the streets.”

“Still, that’s not fair to you.” He replied, “I swear it won’t happen again.” “You said that last time.” “I swear.” He responded, “I really do, whatever it takes, cold turkey.”

“You’re sure?” You replied, “Do you have somewhere to go for this, someone to watch you.” He shook his head, “Then you’re keeping your ass here for however long it takes.” You replied, walking past him to put your workbag down in one of your chairs and take your shoes off.

Marching right back over to your kitchen sink, you took a trash back out from underneath and opened it up, going back to your designated drink cabinet to empty it completely of everything you had.

“What are you doing?” Gerard asked from where he still stood in the living room, observing you carefully.

“I’m getting rid of all the temptations here,” You replied, “I can live a couple weeks without wine. And we’re gonna make sure you can too.”

It was... rough.

In the last two weeks you couldn’t count how many times Gerard had come to you bed crying. Addiction was fucking ugly, it was awful, actually. You would just keep him under your arm and let him cry into your stomach, soothing him with fingers in his hair. You hated to see him like this, but both of you silently knew it was for the best.

“You shouldn’t have to do this for me.” He told you, his swollen face with some tears still left looking up at you, the slight light from the moon shining in through your curtains.

“Gee, hon, I’m a friend. It’s what friends do.” “Yeah, but-” He stopped himself, laying his head down and not saying anything else.

“But what?” You asked.

“It’s nothing.” “It’s important to let your emotions out in a time like this, Gee, just tell me.” “Sometimes,” He sniffled a bit, looking back up at you, “Sometimes I wish we were more than friends, maybe.” He mumbled, “And it’s juvenile, I’m sure, but I don’t know. You’re perfect, ya know? And you deserve someone so amazing. And I wish that someone was me.”

“Oh honey,” You replied, sitting up a bit as he looked away, “Look at me, Gerard.” You insisted, moving his face up to look at you. “I’ve kind of felt the same way about you, I really like you, more as a friend most of the time.” You replied, “And maybe this is a good opportunity for us to start something good after all of this hell you’ve been through.”

“You mean it?” He asked and you nodded with a smile.

“I promise. We can try this.” “Good,” He responded, “You’re the thing keeping me going right now. I don’t think I could live without you.”

“Gee!” You happily shouted as you saw him exit his tour bus. He looked over with a smile as he saw you, Jamia next to you as she searched for Frank. You sprinted over falling into his arms and with a large thump and “umph” from him, he hugged you back.

“Hey, love.” He smiled, giving you a kiss on the head. “Do I even need to ask if you missed me?” You laughed into his chest.

“No,” You responded, “Everything’s so lonely without you.” “Yeah, but you still have friends and coworker and-” “But none of them are you.” You replied, pulling away to look up at him.

He looked so good. Short and still shaggy hair, his natural black hair, a tan from the amount of sun he was getting, he had those muscles that were out in the open and just so tempting-

“You alright, hon?” He asked, scanning over your face.

“Yeah, fine.” You shook out of your trance with a small smile, “Just thinking.”

“You excited for the show?” He asked, running a hand through your long hair. You nodded.

“Yeah, it’s kinda cool being a rockstar’s girlfriend.” You nudged him playfully, “I feel like I have a superiority complex over it.” He chuckled.

“Probably because you do.” He leaned down to kiss you, “And I love you for it.”

“Well, good luck out there.” You smiled and gave him another hug, “I know you’re gonna do amazing hon.”

“Thanks,” He smiled back, “Come back here after, I have a few things for you.” He gave you a final kiss on the head and a wink as he walked away.

You were always excited to see the guys play, but being the lead singers girlfriend was an experience like no other. You were just so proud of him, up there preaching his own lyrics, and you were most proud of him being clean and being able to still perform, even better than he used to.

“Hey baby,” He smiled as you met him in the bus after the show. He was practically dripping in sweat, his hair even wet with sweat, but with no hesitation you leaned down to kiss him.

“I love watching you play.” You smiled, sitting down in his bunk next to him.

“Thanks,” He smiled sheepishly, “Here are your things, by the way. I just saw them and they reminded me of you.” He nervously said, handing a small bag to you.

“Honey, you didn’t have to.” You looked back up at him. “You really don’t.” “Yeah, well, I’m still repaying you for all you’ve done for me, so it’s nothing.”

You went inside of the small paper bag, grabbing the item he was talking about and pulled it out. “Gee,” You gasped, looking up at him, “This is too much, I mean- how did you even find this?”

“I know a few people.” He smiled, putting his head on your shoulder.

“These are expensive Gee! Are you sure?” You said looking back down at the limited edition Scarlett Witch comic from the 80s, in perfect condition.

“Of course!” He smiled, “You deserve it.”

You pulled his face to yours, giving him a firm kiss which he returned with no hesitation. “I love you.” You smiled at him.

“I love you too.” He replied with an even bigger smile.

You loved these nights more than anything in the world.

The ones where you came home after a bad day to be greeted with a busy Gerard who pushed everything aside to make sure you felt better. Where he would order you two crappy takeout, pick it up as you changed into sweatpants and an old sweatshirt and just laid on the couch catching up on shows you’d long forgotten about.

You were snuggled into one of the pillows, laying on his lap as he kept one of his hands running through strands of your hair. You were lost in the plot of the show, giggling lightly at the jokes, but soon you noticed how Gerard wasn’t laughing anymore. You had noticed him on his phone a lot more recently and you had become worried.

It was just paranoia you knew, but your mind of course had begun questioning and going to other, darker places. It was only sane to potentially think of the thought he was cheating, right? But your Gerard would never do that... but you were on guard, all the time. You had to be when a million teenage girls were practically in love with him.

“Everything okay, hon?” You asked looking up. He hummed looking to you and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” He smiled, putting his phone down, “Sorry just work.” You nodded and looked back to the TV, still being tense. “You alright?” He asked and you nodded again, “Babe, tell me what’s on your mind.” He replied, his face now growing serious. You sighed.

“I don’t know,” You replied, “I’m just a bit worried.” “About what?” He asked.

“Can I ask you what I hope to be a completely ridiculous question?” You looked up at him and he nodded, “Just please be truthful and don’t get mad at me because I actually don’t believe this.” “Sure,” He replied questionly.

“I just- what are you doing on your phone all the time. I know it might be rude but sometimes I don’t think it’s work, I think it might be something else-” “Like cheating?” He asked as shock and offense filled his voice.

“I mean- it’s a stupid thought I know.” “Baby, I have absolutely no reason to cheat on you.” He replied, “Literally none, you’re better than perfect. You know I couldn’t live without you.” He sighed, “But I know I have been on my phone more. I’m not really supposed to tell anyone this but I can trust you, so, um, basically, ya know the comic I’ve been writing for a while?” You nodded, “Well, um, I kinda got a publishers that’s willing to publish me so we’re in the process of-”

“Gerard!” You shot up, looking at him with huge eyes and an open mouth in shock. “Are you kidding?” He shook his head, “That’s absolutely amazing! Oh my- I mean, that’s insane! That’s so great!”

“Yeah, thanks.” He smiled a bit, “I was also kinda hoping that you might work on it with me-”

“No.” You replied as his eyes grew wide, “I mean, no, this is your thing. You created it, you illustrated it, I don’t want credit for even doing 1% of the work. This is on you, you deserve credit.” “Fine,” He sighed, “Then be an editor, go over and look it over. Please, I want you to be apart of this.” You leaned back with a smirk and looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds.

“Alright, I will.” You lightly laughed. “I’ll help you with whatever you need.”

“I mean, it’s a great part.” You commented, pacing the room as you quickly scanned over his draft, red sharpie in your hand. “Just a few grammatical errors, and honestly the flows slightly off.” “Flow? How so?”

“I mean, I get what you’re trying to get at, but I don’t think you have enough characterization established to justify such a crazy thing happening in strip 27.” You replied, “It’s very jumpy.” He sighed. “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” “I know.” He said, going back to his own work and beginning to rework.

“I like the rest though, here are the small grammatical errors I talked about,” You gently placed your copy on his desk, “And I’ll be in the living room working on my own stuff.” You were still a bit hurt and petty after Gerard had decided to take over the home office that was once yours for all of his new stuff, since it had more hectic deadlines and was a whole new concept.

“I promise you’ll get the office back soon!” He shouted into the other room where you smirked.

You loved your job, of course you did. And Gerard loved his... well, both of his. But recently your lives had been so hectic that you couldn’t even remember the last time you were around each other and weren’t acting in more formal tones due to everything going on. It had felt like forever since your actual romantic elements had any role in your relationship, and it was starting to pinch at your heart a bit. You really missed the obsessive amounts of affection you showed each other, or the serenity you could find when you were with him. Now it was just work.

And even worse, the two of you had been together for three and a half years now, and you were fully ready for the commitment of marriage. You were too scared to bring it up to Gerard, you were pretty sure he would turn into a deer in the headlights, but you just needed that white dress, button down, wedding and marriage to make yourself feel more secure it all of this.

“Hey hon I think-” You could hear Gerard walk out and into the living room as your head immediately shot up from where you sat on the couch at the ring of his voice. “You alright?” You nodded and he sighed, “Oh c’mon, you were staring at the coffee table. What’s on your mind?” “Oh, I don’t know.” You sighed back as he sat next to you on the couch, fiddling with your pen. “When was the last time we had a date?” He gave you a confused look, “And not a leftovers from the fridge at 9 pm date, but like a good out and eat somewhere and do something date?” “Um,” He hummed, contemplating, “Three months?” You sighed. “What’s the matter?” “Doesn’t that just seem like a long time to you?” You huffed, leaning back on the couch and crossing your arms. He gave you a quizzical look, silently asking you to go on. “It’s just been forever since we’ve actually been the clingy, stupid, cliche couple we used to be. And I’m not saying we just reverse back to our honeymoon phase, because that’s not healthy, but sometimes I just feel like we’re almost not a couple as much as we are work partners.” You sighed, “And I love helping you on your comic, of course I do, but I also miss when this apartment was a safe haven from work, not filled with it.” He gave yo a sympathetic nod, kissing the top of your head.

“How about this,” He told you, “We get through today, and then tomorrow, we do no work. I’ll take you out to dinner and we’ll come back to watch a movie and then, ya know-” “Yeah, that sounds fun.” You replied, placing your head on his shoulder.

“Ya know you can always tell me these things, right?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, but, I don’t know. I’m very proud of you for doing all of this and I don’t want to drag you away just due to me.” “Hey,” He replied, promptly taking your chin in his fingers and lifting it up to look at him. “Stop that nonsense. We’re a team, okay? And please vocalize any and all of these concerns.” You nodded, leaning up to give him a kiss.

“Right.” You responded, “We’re a team.”

“This is so exciting!” You squealed as you walked next to your boyfriend. “We literally have our own panel. Well, technically yours, but we’re on it together Gee!” “I know.” He chuckled. You held his hand tight knowing crowds were typically not his thing, ironic with his primary occupation, but the overwhelming success of the Umbrella Academy called for an appearance at San Diego Comic Con, and since everyone seriously involved got a seat at the table, that mean there was a chair saved next to you. Which Gerard had apparently purposefully put right next to his.

You were nervous, to say the last. You had done panels, but there weren’t more than two dozen people or so at a time... not hundreds. “Hey, everything’s gonna be alright.” He reminded you before the two of you walked on, “I’m right next to you. And remember, just be yourself.” It got better as the minutes past. You hadn’t speak much, which was fine, only responding to scripted question directed towards you. You were most nervous for the fan section. Although you had been with Gerard since the very beginning of the band and you were adored by almost every fan, you were expecting at least one or two passive aggressive questions towards you.

“Y/N,” A fan came up the microphone as you perked up awaiting their question with a smile. She was a cute young girl, no older than 16 with dulling blue hair. “Did you want to work on this with Gerard initially? Did you have any concerns about working with someone so close to you and any conflict it would start?” “Ohhh, good question.” You cooed as the crowd giggled, “In all honesty, yes. Gerard and I typically like to keep all of our work separate. Now of course, with our dual love for comics we like to share small bits and pieces with each other, but we have our own things too. So I was very hesitant at first, but he kinda forced me into it, not going to lie,” Some casual laughter erupted, “But we like to be a team in everything we do. Work, partnership, everything. I think that’s the great thing about dating someone who’s also your best friend, you don’t typically have to worry that much about different things getting in the way of the romantic aspect. It all just kinda flows.”

You turned briefly to Gerard who was smiling like a fool at you. You couldn’t help but blush and look away as everyone let out various ‘awes’ which made you blush even more. “Clearly, a dream team right here.” The interviewer said as everyone continued to coo.

You really couldn’t believe all of this was happening right now. How far you had made it, how far he had made it. Just a couple years ago and both of you were barely getting by pay check to pay check in a dinky New Jersey apartment, and yet here you were now, speaking to a panel of hundreds of people about a huge work you had created.

“Overwhelmed?” He looked over and whispered to you briefly.

“No,” You responded, “Just happy. Really happy.”

[hangovercurse]

Teeny Tiny Secret

After months of trying, you and Colson finally get those two pink lines… the day before tour starts.

Request: “I know that requests are closed, but I HAD to share this before it left my mind. When you have an opportunity, could you please write a story where y/n is in super early (not showing or anything) stages of pregnancy and on tour with mgk. She & Colson make a plan to keep it from the bandmates for now. It becomes difficult when he becomes super over protective (not letting her carry anything, not wanting the guys to crowd her), unconsciously put his hand on her stomach, and ordering non-alcoholic drinks for her. The band suspects something. Y/n talks with him to try to get him to calm down a little. It works until the guys ask you both about it directly and Colson's the first to crack.”

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Y’all are all up in that spring baby fever… this is like my 3rd or 4th baby request recently

Word Count: 2211

You and Colson had been talking about having a second kid for months but stopped trying a few weeks before tour started. You didn’t think it had worked until you woke up three days before tour and rushed to the bathroom, morning sickness wrecking your body. Colson felt you getting out of bed and followed a few minutes later, tiredly. When he found you hunched over the toilet, his whole demeaner changed.

You knew for sure the day before tour, after multiple pregnancy tests you had gone to see an OBGYN for confirmation. Sure enough, you were pregnant. The universe sure knew the definition of ironic timing.

Colson’s immediate reaction was to have you stay home. “All the traveling and partying isn’t gonna be good for him.” He said, pacing around your bedroom while you laid on the bed. “Tour life is not good for babies.”

You raised your eyebrow, “him? It’s been one day and you’re already setting unrealistic expectations for our unborn child.” You joked, a small smile on your lips.

Colson’s mouth gaped before he continued, “Y/N, we need to be serious about this. You can’t come on tour if you’re pregnant.”

You rolled your eyes, “Colson, I am not letting you leave me here while I am pregnant. I’ll be fine. I won’t drink and I’ll take it easy. You just have to make sure the guys don’t smoke around me and we’ll be fine.”

His eyes went wide. “Shit, the boys.” He paused to think as confusion crossed you. “If the boys find out about this they’ll freak out and then the whole tour is gonna be a shit show.”

It was kind of funny how much more worried he was than you were. “Babe, come here.” You motioned for him to come sit in the bed with you to which he complied. You leaned your back against the headboard, expecting him to follow. Instead, he laid so his head was next to your stomach. He pressed a small kiss into it, making your heart fluttered, the reality of the situation hitting you and making you insanely happy. “Why are you so worried?” You asked him softly, combing your hand through his hair.

He reached, moving your shirt up so he could kiss your bare stomach. He mumbled against your skin, “I think I wanna keep this a secret for now.” You hummed and he continued, “just for us, y’know? I wanna enjoy this.”

You nodded, “I’m still coming on tour with you, though. I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

He smiled against your stomach, finally moving up to sit next to you, pulling you towards him for a soft kiss. His hand went to your stomach, rubbing circles into the skin. “I can’t believe we’re gonna have a fucking baby.”

You smiled against his lips, a thought popping into your head, “can we tell Casie at least?” His eyes lit up at your suggestion, a quick nod of his head affirming the idea.

 The next day was hectic, as all first days were. You had gotten a list of everything you could and couldn’t do from your doctor, and the all-clear to fly for the first trimester. So, you and Colson found yourself with the crew at LAX airport bright and early in the morning. Ashleigh passed you an itinerary, letting you know that you would all be meeting the bus in Cleveland, where the first show was.

Colson’s arm hadn’t left your waist since you got to the airport, holding you to his side all morning. Occasionally you could feel his thumb rubbing circles near your stomach, something that was definitely becoming a habit of his. At one point he ended up standing behind you, hands resting on your stomach as he held you against him. You tried not to give anything away, but you found it adorable how excited he was. He wanted to be as close to the unborn baby as possible at all times, his hands constantly near your middle.

Eventually you arrived in Cleveland, walking down the long hallway to the baggage claim, taking in the small Cleveland hall of fame that the airport had created. You spotted your suitcase and went to grab it, but Colson beat you to it. “I got it, babe.” He gave you a look that let you know you wouldn’t be carrying anything.

You sighed, “I can get it Colson.” He shrugged, grabbing his bag off of the carousel next. The man now had a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder and two suitcases in his hands. “Seriously, it’s not that heavy.”

He shook his head, “I’m not letting you carry anything heavy. I can do it.” You sighed but let him, knowing you wouldn’t win this battle.

Unbeknownst to you, Baze had seen the whole interaction and was very confused.

 Later, once you had arrived at the arena, you were hanging in the dressing room with Slim and Irv on the couch. You guys weren’t really talking about anything in particular, mostly just cracking jokes about Rook’s outfit for the night.

When the younger boy heard Slim say he looked like “if Willow Smith and Gerard Way were put into a blender,” he came over, blunt in his hand.

Rook started jokingly arguing with Slim and you were all laughing at his distress. In the middle of their argument, however, Colson came over and grabbed the blunt out of Rook’s hand. He put it out in an ashtray before returning to you, squeezing himself between you and Irv.

Everyone, including you, stared at him, dumfounded. “Dude why the fuck-“ Rook started, only for Colson to cut him off.

“You shouldn’t smoke in here.” He shrugged, arms wrapping around you. He squeezed your waist, letting you know why he really did it. You were somewhat thankful; smoke was bad for the baby. But there are less obvious ways to have gone about that.

Rook grumbled but didn’t attempt to light another one. Slim looked at you, an eyebrow raised in question. You shrugged your shoulders, pretending to act innocently naïve to Colson’s behaviors.

Eventually the three boys travelled from the couch, leaving you and Colson alone. “Babe, you gotta try and be a little more subtle about that shit.” You mumbled, turning to face him.

He scrunched his eyebrows, “he shouldn’t be smoking around you. What else was I supposed to do?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, but that wasn’t subtle. If you keep treating me differently, they’re gonna figure out that something’s up.”

Colson lets out a breath through his nose, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want anything to happen to…” he trailed off, trying to keep a low profile.

“I know you’re just being careful. It’s sweet, and I really appreciate it. But either we tell the guys what’s going on or we figure out how to be more subtle.” You thought you guys were being quiet, but once again Baze was standing just within earshot, hearing your entire conversation.

 Colson demanded you stay backstage instead of in front of the gates like normal tours. “I don’t care if they think something’s up, you are not getting anywhere near that crowd.”

This was something you could actually agree on, not wanting any crazy fangirls to try and reach over the barricade and hurt you by accident (it had happened before). So, you were stood backstage before the concert, like normal, only this time you had a spot next to the stage picked out just for you to watch. Colson came over to you, jumping up and down in excitement.

You giggled at his happy demeanor, feeding off his energy. “Good luck kiss?” You offered to which he happily nodded. You pulled him in by his shoulders, intending to give him a soft kiss. Colson being Colson, however, decided that this was the perfect time for an extremely heated make out session.

You didn’t complain much as his hands explored your waist, paying special attention to your stomach, where a small bump would soon be forming. His lips against yours were heaven.

“Okay loverboy!” Ashleigh called, making him pull away from your lips but he kept himself close to you. “You’re on.”

He nodded towards her, giving you one last peck before running off to the stage. Before he left, his hands lingered on your stomach just a little longer than normal, his eyes glancing down to it for a split second.

Then you watched the love of your life run towards the stage, a grin on his face. “I love you!” You called. He turned to you right before he got on stage and mouthed the words back to you, knowing you couldn’t hear him anymore. You smiled, the sight of him living his dream making your heart melt.

Slim was on the side of the stage closest to you, and had caught the last moments of your intimacy, including Colson’s attention to your stomach. He perked and eyebrow at the sight but shook it off as Colson being into some weird new thing.

 After the show, everyone was hyped up on adrenaline and alcohol. The crew decided to move the party to a nearby club. Colson wanted to take you back to the bus and stay there with you all night, but you made him go. “Colson, I have been in this condition for all of 3 days. I am fine. You just finished the first show of your tour. We,” you pointed between the two of you, “are going out to celebrate, even if that means I can only drink water or pop.”

He rolled his eyes but gave in, letting you drag him down the street towards the rest of your friends. When you got to the club, you grabbed a table with Ash, Irv, Baze, and Slim while Colson took Rook to get drinks for everyone.

When the pair got back, they started handing out drinks. Colson set a glass of water in front of you, causing the group to raise eyebrows at you two, which you just shrugged off, sipping the water. As much as you would have loved to get wasted with your friends, you knew it would hurt the baby. You tried to act as nonchalant about it as possible, realizing that it was gonna be hard to hide your secret if you got water every time you went out.

This was going to be a long 9 months.

“I wanna dance.” Ashleigh said, grabbing Irv and Rook and dragging them to the floor. You grinned, about to stand up and join them when you felt a hand on your thigh. You turned towards Colson, who was currently stopping you from having fun, giving him a glare.

He shook his head slightly at you, leaning close to you to whisper in your ear. “There’s a lot of people here, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes, whispering back, “can you ease up a little bit, please? I’ll be careful. I want to have a little fun before I’m not able to move at all.”

His face was stern, the two of you having a silent argument with your eyes. You pleaded with him, trying to get him to crack but he just shook his head.

Meanwhile Baze and Slim watched you two, trying to figure out how the hell you were communicating without actually talking. “Is everything okay with you two?” Slim asked, pulling your attention to the two men.

You nodded, smiling, “yeah, we’re great.”

Baze cocked his head, “you sure? Because he’s” he pointed at Colson, “acting like you’re pregnant or something.”

You felt Colson’s hand on your thigh tighten, his entire body stiffening. You giggled, trying to play off the comment. Baze started laughing the moment he saw Colson’s expression, which you turned to see was like a deer caught in headlights. Slim’s eyes went wide, “holy shit, for real? Congrats guys!”

You laughed, rubbing Colson’s shoulder, “good job, babe. You did a great job at keeping this between us.”

He looked down at you with a sheepish expression, “sorry, I thought we were being subtle.” He mumbled and you laughed.

“Cols, I was being subtle. You were acting like I was gonna die if someone so much as touched me.” Slim and Baze chuckled at this, and you turned to explain. “We found out for sure yesterday and didn’t want anyone to get freaked out or throw off the tour or anything. So, Colson here,” your head nodded towards your boyfriend, “thought we could keep it a secret for now.”

He frowned, his friends still laughing at him. “Dude, you are the worst secret keeper ever, man.” Baze said. “It took one push and you cracked.” You giggled, nodding your head in agreement. “But seriously, congrats guys.”

“Thanks, B.” You said, “but listen, both of you. If anyone on this tour tells me what I can and can’t do because I’m pregnant, I’ll cut their dick off.” The two boys nodded in understanding.

“Am I really that bad at keeping secrets?” Colson asked, still upset that he spilled.

You giggled and nodded, “Yeah, darling. You are.”

[gerardswetgaydreams]

Gerard Way! Hatsune Miku x Frank Iero! Female reader because why not

Plus, I made this randomly made this oneshot for sure, because I love Frerard and Vocaloid. That's all.

Your POV:

So, we have a band called My Chemical Romance. I'm not gonna lie here, I'm a total lesbian for my lead singer, Miku Hatsune. I have a huge crush on her... I love her singing voice sm, it makes me calm down from stress and other negative feelings :)

Miku told me she loved my guitar playing so much. Awww, how sweet of her 😍

Sooooooo, Our band is touring in America (well vocaloid is from Japan I assume so they tour in America ig) And our bandmates have to sleep in a hotel since we're only gonna he there for 2 months. Well, there's 5 bandmates and there's only 3 rooms in our hotel room. And what makes me blush is that they chose me and Miku as roomates...

At night, I just got off from the shower and went to the closet and changed to my pajamas. After drying my hair, I went to the bedroom and Miku was sitting there on her phone, wearing pants and a bra.

(This isn't lemon and since I'm a guy I'm not comfortable doing lemon on girls it makes me extremely uncomfortable I only do gay lemon I'm sorry ;-;)

Her beautiful long hair untied around her.. I really like her cyan hair a lot. Even though in some of our music videos, she has white or black hair. She's still cute and precious.

"Ay sugar, come sit with me!" She patted to the spot right next to her. Holy shit... Did she just call me... SUGAR!? JSNXJDOAKZNDKSOROFO-

"W...what?!" I blushed. "Yes. Rin(Ray), Luka(Mikey), and Meiko(idk I hate mcr drummers) literally chose that room for us because they ship us. Now sit down." Miku repeated. I didn't wanna piss her off, so I grabbed my phone from the table with the lamp and sat next to Miku on the bed. "Let's take a pic." She said.

We did our faces and she took the pic. We both looked really amazing, so she posted it. After a few minutes with views, we were reading comments.

"Awwww you two look so cute together 🥰"

"(Your initial)-iku anyone? :3"

"EEEE I CAN'T WAIT FOR THEIR PERFORMANCE"

I blushed at the comment with the "Y/I-Iku" one.... I'm starting to think Miku likes me now, or idk. "You really like me, don't you Y/n chan?" She smirked. I blushed even harder. Until then, she pursed her lips into mine. My eyes widen and I kissed back. Woah.. I never expected her to kiss me.. I thought she would be married with a guy, but it turns out I belong to her..

"I love you Y/n chan.. Never forget that." She stated. I smiled. "I love you too, and I'll never forget that." So for the rest of the minutes before 12am, we just hang out and stuff. And I felt very very sleepy.

"Sugar.. You look tired." Miku said. I nodded. Miku turned of the lamp and we lay down with each other. Us two were the last ones to fall asleep out of the three, they went to sleep earlier than us. Miku cuddled to me closer and we kissed again.

"Want me to sing you a lullaby?" She asked. I nodded. The song she sing to me was "The light behind your eyes..." I love that song so much, it's so comforting...

After she's done singing the song, I drift off.

Miku POV:

Mmm..... Y/n chan really loves me, doesn't she. Well lucky for her because she's all mine now ♡ As she drifted off, I cuddled with her and went to sleep with her.

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter fourteen: "Love, hate, love"

Word count: 8,8K

Summary: The band is decided to take care of Joey, and for once, she is ok with that. Gerard is trying to find a way to get closer to her while Matthew... gets drunk again.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, cheating, angst, a lot of crying.

A/N: I want a friend like Mikey in my life. Do you guys think Joey will forgive Matthew? Would you do it? also, I love how honest Frank is with Joey. Gerard really hates him at this point hehehe.

Not my gif, and all this shit is fiction.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

::: Valencia, March 11th, 2011 :::

Joey's eyes were wide opened as she laid on her bed. She hadn't slept at all. Mikey was snoring next to her. He had stayed over to take care of her after everybody left. But he fell asleep, and the girl stayed up the whole night, not able to move or to do anything but to stare at the heart locket on her bedside table. It felt like bullshit to her now. What seemed to be so romantic was now nothing but a pile of lies.

Memories kept coming to her head. All of the times together with Matthew, their whole happiness. All the days they spent working on the house he had bought for them, and all the nights they sat in their new back yard to look at the stars, drink some wine and sleep in an inflatable mattress they had put in their bedroom. But what she remembered the most was the day they met. The day their whole story together had started, and how now Joey wished to go back in time and change it all. Ignore him, never talking to him, not even being in that studio that day. Anything that might keep her from the pain she was feeling now.

She had reached the studio early that morning. She had a meeting with a band at ten to record a demo. They needed a studio drummer, and Billy, the producer, contacted her. She had learned the songs; there were just three on the setlist. That shouldn't take more than three days in the whole process, including production.

Joey went through her warm-up and stretching before Billy walked in with two cups of coffee.

- "Thank you."

- "You are gonna need it,"- he said and cut her a short smile- "As far as I can tell, these guys are hyper"- the girl smiled and nodded.

- "Noted, hyper kids."

The drummer already had a lot of practice recording with random bands and some pretty known bands too. Yet, she wasn't ready for the tornado of energy that was about to go through the door that day.

The band was pretty funny and easy-going. Their music wasn't really in Joey's favorite playlist, but she was professional enough to give her best no matter what. Their friend, though, that guy was driving her insane. This very tall thin guy with light brown hair kept jumping with every song they played. He was sugar rushed or in coke. There was no way anyone would be that energetic on his own. And he had an opinion for every part of every song. Their friends loved him, it was clear, that's why they brought him along, but Joey was trying to do her work.

- "Hey,"- he said to her at the end of the session. He hadn't talked to her in the whole day- "That was pretty cool what you did back there."

- "Thanks"- she simply answered and looked for her backpack.

- "I mean, you played amazing, but the way you managed not to kill me through the whole day, though it was clear I was driving you insane, that was outstanding"- and the girl chuckled, she hated it 'cos she didn't want to, but that had been funny indeed.

- "It took a lot of will and mental strength, I must confess, you were pretty annoying,"- she answered with a snarky smile.

- "I'm sorry in advance for the next three or four days then"- the girl sighed and nodded.

- "Thanks, I guess."

- "Hey, can I try to make it up to you?"

- "By not to eat anything with sugar or take any coffee before coming tomorrow? Because that would be awesome"- and Matthew laughed. An honest big, and sincere laugher.

- "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get a coffee now with me..."

- "How much coffee do you have during the day?"- the drummer asked, raising an eyebrow.

- "A lot"- he simply answered- "So, what do you say? I promise I won't be annoying, or at least just the decent amount of annoying to be tolerable."

Joey didn't know what to reply. It had been ages since anyone had asked her out, and that guy was breathtakingly hot. Was it a prank? Why would he want to go out with her?

- "How are you planning not to be annoying?"- she asked and narrowed her eyes.

- "You can pinch me every time I get annoying,"- Gubler grinned, looking pretty excited to go out with her- "I know you want to pinch me."

Joey smiled and kept her eyes on his. He gave her the most adorable puppy eyes, and not even thinking about it, she accepted.

And that was the first of a thousand coffees they shared in almost a year together. They had even talked about getting married around the same date they had started dating. But now, none of that mattered anymore.

- "Mother fucker"- she whispered and slowly got out of bed. Mikey was still asleep. She wondered around the room, not knowing what to do. She went through all the things the guys had left upon a dresser: chocolate bars, filled chocolate, M&M, fun-size Snickers, all of her favorites candies. Frank's whiskey bottle, even a Pride and Prejudice Bluray.

- "You guys are awesome,"- she whispered and grabbed a bunch of candy. She looked through her things as she ate. It felt nothing was hers anymore. It felt that wasn't her life or her clothing. Not even her mind. She was out of herself. Her phone was nowhere to be seen. Probably Mikey had it hidden, just like she had done for him when he broke up with his wife. Now the tables had turned. And it felt weird. Wrong. Bad.

Joey had a knot in her stomach as she kept eating Snicker after Snicker. Still, she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. She found Matthew's shirts among her clothes, and her body shivered at the smell of his perfume still in the fabric. She could almost see his face, hear his voice, feel his hands on her skin. The same hands that had cheated.

Tears started falling right away. Still, she couldn't stop smelling the shirt. She couldn't stop thinking about him, about his face, his kisses, everything. But yet, she was so mad, so sad, so confused. Her stomach started aching, and the girl started retching. She ran to the bathroom and puked the few candies she had eaten. That was all that was left in her stomach.

- "Bug, hey..."- Mikey appeared running and kneeled next to her.

- "I'm ok, I just... I'm still..."- the girl sighed and wiped off the tears from her face, flushing. Mikey reached the mouthwash for her- "Thank you"- Joey clumsy stood up and spat in the sink.

- "Did you get any sleep?"

- "Not really"- the honesty of her answer surprised him. He was ready to deal with a girl in denial of her state. Instead, somehow, she just answered the truth. He decided to take another shot.

- "Are you hungry?"

- "Of course not. I just puked."

- "What do you wanna do today?"

- "Stay in here, in my pajamas, and watch shitty tv. How is your schedule for today? What do you have to do?"

- "Stay here in my pajama watching shitty tv with you,"- she cut him a sweet smile as she crawled into bed again.

- "You don't have to do that, Mikey. You have to work."

- "I know I don't have to, I want to do it for you"- he made a pause, grabbed the phone, and called room service.

- "Thank you,"- she whispered and heard him asking for two breakfasts.

- "Besides,"- Mikey added, after hanging up and getting into bed with her- "It's not like I have to show up and answer questions I've answered a million times before. That's why Gerard's the lead singer. He loves the attention."

Joey smiled and hugged Mikey, resting her head on his chest as he surfed channels.

- "Yeah, he is a little diva sometimes."

- "A little? Sometimes?"- Mikey chuckled- "Oh Bug, you have no idea..."

Gerard was walking on his own after the first interview. He asked for a few minutes to get something, and Worm came along to make sure he made it alive.

- "Dude, help, what can I give Joey?"

- "Is her birthday again or something?"

- "No, she broke up with Gubler, and I need something that might cheer her up."

- "Fuck! How is she?"

- "Locked in her room... what can I give her?"

- "Chocolates."- Worm answered right away.

- "Mikey got her a million of her favorites."

- "Booze."

- "Frank got her favorite whiskey."

- "Shit... movies to kill time?"- the man looked at Gerard and nodded- "So Ray got her movies?"

- "They had like a "break up kit" in their fucking bags or something. They know what to do, what to say to her, how to comfort her. And I ended up looking at her from a distance like... awkward and out of place."- Gerard was opening himself up at his friend.

- "Well, think of something that might help her use her time and mind to refocus her into something other than the breakup. Maybe a book"- Gerard nodded and kept looking at the window glazes. Instinctively he stood outside a stationery shop. He thought about it as he looked inside. To draw was an excellent way to kill time. Would she like that?

- "Why not?"- he said and walked in. After a few minutes, he stepped out with not two but three bags filled with art supplies.

- "Did you leave anything left in the store?"- Frank asked when he saw his friend carrying so many notebooks and pencils, you could think he was starting a store of his own. The two of them, plus Ray, got into the van to go to their following interview.

- "Funny. I just got Joey a few things to help her think of something else."

- "Cool man, good idea"- Ray smiled and took a look inside- "I just checked with Mikey. They were watching a movie."

- "How is she?"- Gerard asked as the van traveled through Valencia.

- "She didn't sleep, she hasn't eaten, Mikey was fighting to get her to eat some cereal... she was crying and puking when he woke up."

Gerard's heart ached in his chest as he heard Ray's words. He needed to find a way to make her feel better. But how? How if he never got to talk to her?

- "Any news from the asshole?"- Gerard asked, and Frank nodded.

- "Mikey has her phone off, so no one knows anything about him."

- "Do you think he is gonna show up?"- the singer asked, and both Ray and Frank looked at each other.

- "I think so,"- Toro said- "He is in love with her after all."

- "After all?"- Iero turned to him and frowned- "The fucker broke her heart! I don't want him near my little Bug in a thousand years."

Gerard wanted to hit Frank after calling her "his little Bug."

- "What the fuck is his problem? She ain't his. She is mine."

- "Frank, we are her friends, and we have to support her, but if she ever decides to get back with him again, even when we both know that's nearly impossible, we have to respect her. Ok?"- Ray was very rational about it, mostly 'cos he had lived it with other friends before- "So if he gets here, we can't do anything."

- "What do you mean "we can't do anything"?"- Frank frowned right away, frustrated- "I'm not gonna let that asshole near her."

- "Me neither, man"- Gerard adds- "And I can't believe you are saying this amount of shit after how she was yesterday."

- "It's called experience, Gerard. So remember, this whole shit ain't about how mad we are with Gubler, but about how much we want our friend to be happy, no matter what!"

Ray used his "dad" voice, and his friends couldn't argue with that. That was Raymond Toro's superpower: Super Dad.

Matthew looked at his mom and sighed. He still had three more days of shooting, and he was about to quit. Gubler barely had the strength to get out of bed that morning. He hadn't eaten. He looked like shit. He didn't want to be in the movie anymore. He gave a fuck about everything. So his mother came along to work with him and sat closely, reading a book, trying to comfort him in any way. Yes, that's how much Matthew loved his mother. And he cared shit if anyone made fun of him.

- "I can't do this, mom,"- he said as he walked to her by the end of a scene, he had some time to wait for things to be ready at the following location- "I mean, what the fuck am I doing here? I have to go to her! I have to tell her that I'm sorry"- he grabbed his phone and dialed- "Still off... Yami, please listen to me. I need to talk to you. This can't be it. I need you to listen to me."

- "Voicemail full"- a computer voice warned and finished the call.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- the young man hit the wall next to him a couple of times as his face turned red in anger and desperation.

- "Matthew, please calm down, you are gonna go, but you need to be calm when you meet her. You have to put yourself together first. What are you going to tell her? How are you going to approach her?"- he sighed and walked around in front of his mother.

- "I just need to talk to her now!"- he whispered, pouting. He had never needed anyone as much as he needed Joey at that moment.

- "She has to make her process too. If you run to her now, you are both going to be still hyperventilated with what happened, you are going to be irrational, you know you will, and she is going to be still so hurt and mad she won't think straight"- Matthew sighed and looked at the ground- "Let the things cool down for a few days."

- "I still need to talk to her. I have to call her."

- "Just make sure you don't sound like a madman when you get to talk to her, ok?"

- "Do I sound like a madman now?"- his mother smiled at held his chin for a second

- "As I had never heard you before... you are in love, baby, it's ok to be a madman... just... try to keep a mind straight when it comes to talking to her, don't scare her away."

Matthew nodded and sighed. His mother's words made sense, but how to calm himself down when he felt he was dying inside? He grabbed his phone and dialed. Still off.

- "Can you come over tonight?"- he wrote and sent the text to Paget, his best friend.

- "Sure, is everything ok?"

- "Tell you tonight."

The band reached Joey's room at lunchtime. They brought pizza and beer, but she didn't want either. They talked to her about their day, the interviews, and Gerard gave her his present. That was the one thing Joey was excited about. She loved drawing and coloring, though she sucked at it.

- "Thank you, Gerard!"- she said and cut him a shy smile- "I wanted to get some of these things for a while and never did"- and the singer smiled proudly. He had finally done one thing right.

- "Hey, if you want, I can teach you a few things so you can start your comic,"- he said and sat next to her.

- "Thanks..."- she nodded but didn't look into the idea. Gerard was probably pushing too hard. But he had gotten so excited with her reaction he thought it was the solution to the whole situation. Nothing was farther from the truth.

- "Come on, Bug, we brought your favorite pizza,"- Frank said and sat next to her- "It has all the bacon in Spain."

- "I'm not hungry,"- she whispered and didn't take her eyes from the art supplies.

- "You've barely eaten,"- Mikey said and held her hand, looking at her so worried, it made Joey feel guilty for having her friend like that. It wasn't fair.

- "Bróðir, I am ok. I ate that cereal you gave me."

- "You threw it up twenty minutes later"- she closed her eyes and sighed- "Do you always throw up when you are upset?"- and she nodded. She didn't want to say a word about it. When Joey was a kid, she had many anxiety problems; she always threw up when she felt stressed. It was the way her body worked to cope with whatever it was that she was feeling.

- "Just a slice, I don't care if you vomit it,"- Frank insisted. She held it and took the tiniest bite possible in a poor attempt to make her friend happy. He just kept looking at her, forcing her to take another bite.

- "Do you have to go to work after lunch?"- she whispered and looked at her fingers playing with the bacon on her pizza.

- "Yeah, Bug. Mikey should probably go shower, but I'm gonna stay with you."

- "I'm not a baby, Ray"- the girl frowned- "I can be alone."

- "I know you can, I just feel like staying here, watch a bunch of movies... maybe sleep a little, I don't wanna go to work,"- Ray simply replied.

- "Guys, I know you are being too cute and adorable right now, and from the bottom of my heart, I am forever grateful for it, but I can stay alone. Nothing is gonna happen."

Mikey moved closer to Joey in the bed and wrapped an arm around her.

- "Sure, you are gonna be ok, but right now, we just wanna be with you... just today, ok? Tomorrow you are on your own,"- she turned and raised an eyebrow at him- "I promise."

- "Fine..."

- "Now eat"- he commanded and moved her pizza closer to her.

- "When are you going to give me my phone back?"- she asked after a while.

- "Tomorrow"- Mikey simply replied.

- "What's the plan for tomorrow, by the way?"- Joey asked and looked at her friends- "Do we have to be at the festival the whole day?"

- "No, but we have to be there early,"- Gerard said and chewed his food- "We have to do some press there, and you should come along."

- "I'm good, thanks."

- "No, really, it was great when we did that radio with you, and you've been great all along this tour, so... it would be great if you were there with us... how many times did I just say "great"?"- Joey smiled at Gerard and looked back at her pizza.

- "Like a million times, dude,"- Frank answered- "Hey, where's the veggie pizza?"

It was very heartwarming and, at the very same time, very overwhelming for Joey to feel that amount of love from her friends. She didn't see it coming. That afternoon, she and Ray watched Pride and Prejudice together, and she even allowed herself to share a few tears during those 90 minutes. Ray pretended he never noticed, and that made her happy.

She picked a bunch of other chick flicks she liked, and her friend watched them all, sleeping a little bit from time to time. Joey wasn't able to close an eye. Every time she took her mind off the movie, she thought of Matthew and started crying again.

By the time the rest of the band arrived again, with more booze, more food, and a whole bag of candies, Ray had watched Clueless, 10 things I hate about you and Ever After. He was pretty surprised to know Joey could recite from memory most of the dialogues in those movies. He never thought she could be so... girly.

- "Hey Bug!"- Mikey practically ran to her- "What are you doing?"

- "Coloring this mandala book Gerard got me"- it felt like she was a little kid and Ray was her nanny- "I don't know why people say this is relaxing; I find it pretty stressful"- Mikey looked at it and smiled.

- "Looks pretty cool to me."

- "Let me see"- Gerard said and walked to her, sitting for the very first time, next to her- "Yeah, that looks stressful"- he whispered, and she smiled- "But there was another coloring book in the bag."

- "I feel like I'm five years old,"- she whispered and looked at the singer in the eyes. He cut her a big smile and grabbed a notebook from his bag.

- "I stopped to buy ten comic books today, so that would make two of us."

- "What did you get?"- that conversation kept going. Gerard couldn't believe it.

- "I saw a few X-Men issues in Spanish, and I thought it would be a nice addition to my collection."

- "Nice..."- Frank moved closer and messed with the girl's hair.

- "I brought you a Dr. Pepper,"- he whispered and kissed her cheek.

- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "I also got you fries"- he smiled and raised an eyebrow- "You can't say no to fries..."- and damn it, Frank was right- "Cheesy fries"- he added with a low sexy voice.

- "I hate you, Frank."

- "It's time for you to face it, Iceland, you love me, you can't live without my pretty face making you laugh"- he teased her and chuckled. She kept her eyes in his and cut him a short smile.

- "Fuck you, Jersey"- she whispered but smiled and snuggled closer to him- "I love you. You are a psycho brother with the ability to make me want to punch you."

- "You are that hot second cousin I would nail,"- Frank answered with a chuckle and a low voice. Joey giggled and hit him simultaneously. Gerard froze, thinking there was no way Iero could be so honest with her about his thoughts, not making her mad.

- "Shut up. Why do you always ruin every single moment we've got together?"

- "'Cos... you laugh when I do, and I love to hear you laugh"- the girl chuckled and blushed.

- "Just give me the damn fries."

Gerard looked at his friend in shock. He had flirted, and she smiled. What the fuck was that? It was so clear everybody was closer to her than him... and she told him she loved him.

- "Damn it! You are not going anywhere tonight until you get fucking closer to this girl."

Around midnight, Ray and Frank stood up. Joey was still laid on her bed, wide awake, watching Lethal Weapon with Mikey.

- "Kids, you should go to bed"- Ray announced and put on his shoes- "We've got a big day tomorrow, and you should all rest, especially you, Bug. The dark rings under your eyes will not be covered with makeup, and we will be on tv tomorrow."

- "I'll sleep, I promise"- she whispered and nodded.

- "Are you going to be ok with these two?"- Frank asked after kissing the top of her head.

- "These two are leaving soon, so I'll be ok"- she made a pause and held Frank's hand- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "There is nothing to thank, Iceland. You are my friend, and I'll protect you no matter what."

- "Yeah... what you did yesterday when you yelled at... at him"- Joey couldn't even really say his name- "Well... thank you-" he smiled and winked.

- "Anytime"

- "I love you, dad,"- the girl said as Ray walked over. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him kiss her forehead.

- "Please, try to sleep."

- "I will ... and thank you for watching chick flicks with me."

- "Anytime you want."

- "Really? You won't get sick of the clichés?"- she smiled and wrinkled her nose.

- "No, maybe next time I'll pick a couple when we are on the bus."

- "Dad, it's a date."

- "Sleep tight."

Joey nodded and watched her friends walking out. Mikey kept his eyes on the tv as he ate a bag of M&Ms. Gerard was sitting at the other side of the bed, drawing in silence. The girl sighed and watched tv for a while, but her mind was somewhere else.

- "You should take a bath,"- Gerard whispered suddenly- "If you are going to try to sleep, maybe a hot shower can help you."

- "I thought I smelled so bad you were gonna force me"- Joey answered, not even looking at him.

- "Joey, I've lived with you for a lot of months so far, and I've been locked with you after playing shows covered in sweat"- Gee made a pause and smiled- "You've never smelled bad"- she rolled her eyes, but a slight smile appeared on her lips.

- "You've never been close enough to smell me."

- "She is right, she gets nasty"- and Mikey got smacked by a pillow after those words.

- "Fine, I'll shower..."- but before moving an inch, the girl looked at her friend and asked- "Can you give me my phone back?"

- "Tomorrow."

- "I want to call my parents"- Mikey took his phone from his pocket and gave it to her.

- "Use mine"- she huffed and dialed.

Gerard watched her walk around the room, speaking half in Spanish, half in English with her mother, and then half in Icelandic, half in English with her dad. It was a funny scene to see; he had never seen it. He had never seen a lot of her habits, and yet he had fallen in love with her. Why? How?

- "Dude, I'm talking to you"- Mikey said and threw him an empty bag of candy.

- "Sorry, what?"

- "Can you stay with her for a while? I have to go to my room and take the biggest dump on earth"- Gerard frowned, disgusted, and nodded.

- "Using the bathroom would have been enough, dude."

- "No, it wouldn't, you need to know the disgusting details of my organism..."- Mikey started gathering his things, and Joey frowned as she watched him.

- "Where are you going?"

- "To take a shit"

- "Please don't use my bathroom. You are gross. It's like there's a corpse coming out of you every time"- Joey simply says, and Gerard burst out laughing.

- "Best description ever!"

- "Here's your phone, bróðir."

- "Thank you, Bug"- he grabbed it, put on his shoes, his backpack, and hugged his friend tight- "I love you."

- "I know. I love you too."

- "I'll leave you with Gerard. Are you gonna be ok?"

- "I'll be fine,"- his older brother answered and never took his eyes from the paper, scared of looking at Joey under the circumstances. He was finally going to be alone with her. What was going to happen?

- "I was talking to her, dumbass"- Gerard flipped the bird to Mikey as Joey stayed hugged to his younger brother. He wished she could hug him like that one day. That night maybe...

- "You are the best brother on earth"- she whispered- "Now please go to your room and sleep."

- "Eat some chocolates, take a bath and fall asleep, ok?"- Joey nodded, and Mikey left the room.

Suddenly she realized it was just her and Gerard. For the first time in weeks. But her mind didn't have room to think about anything else but the pain she was feeling. She missed Matthew so much; watching Lethal Weapon was the best idea at the moment.

Gerard kept drawing in silence, and Joey watched the movie until it was over. She ate a few more Snickers and went through the pages of one of the mandala coloring books Gerard had given her.

- "Are you going to take that bath?"- he asked her. But she didn't answer. She had spaced out, staring at her hands in front of her- "Joey? Are you ok?"

- "Yes,"- she murmured and took a deep breath- "Yeah, I'm gonna shower."

- "Do you need me to run the shower for you?"- the singer asked, standing up, but the girl excused herself, moved out of the bed quickly, grabbed a clean pajama from her bag, and locked herself in the room.

Gee looked around and sighed. He knew she wasn't ok at all, so he cleaned the room a little, threw all of the empty bags of chocolates into the paper bin, called room service to take their dinner dishes away, and made the bed.

- "Hey babe"- he whispered as Lynz picked up the phone- "How are you?"

- "Good baby, you?"

- "So fucking tired"- he might have exaggerated that a little bit- "We had an eternal day today, doing a lot of press for the festival tomorrow."

- "My sweet baby, are you in the hotel?"

- "Yeah, already in bed "In Joey's bed, asshole."

- "And how's everybody?"

- "We are all exhausted. It's been forever since we've been home."

- "I know, honey, I miss you so."

- "I miss you more, baby."

Joey sat under the hot water of the shower, crying her eyes out. She held those tears for so long that day. She needed to get them out of her system when no one could see or hear her. Under the shower was good, with water running down her whole aching body.

She felt so much pain inside it seemed to be endless. She was never going to overcome it. Joey knew it. She actually thought she could die of sorrow. And her friends had been so nice to her. She felt she had to be better, so they were calmer. She didn't want to make them sick worry about her.

- "You to put out a show from the next day and start acting like you are getting over this whole deal"- she whispered to herself and whipped off her tears- "They deserve better than a broken drummer. You have to be professional, you are here to work, and you have to fucking do your best work."

But still, she looked at the ring that was still on her finger, and the tears came back. She didn't want to take it off. She wanted to hold onto the memory of the days she was happy. But it was so hard. She had been broken-hearted before, but not like that. It had never been like this. It felt like the end of her world, and she was sure she was never going to recover from it. She wouldn't be the same woman that she was before. She just didn't know how much of the old Joey was going to survive.

- "Joey, are you ok in there?"- Gerard asked from the other side of the door- "You've been in the shower for a long while."

- "Yeah, I'm coming out in a minute,"- she answered and cleared her throat- "You can go to your room if you want to, I'm ok."

- "I'm not leaving until you are tucked and asleep into that bed, Joey."

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He had brought this to her. She deserved him to be nice to her. Nice, he could do nice. He just had to turn his dick off, and everything was going to be ok.

Easier said than done, clearly.

Joey walked out of the shower in her pajamas, hair already dried, and night cream on her face, 'cos she had done nothing for herself in the whole day, and a part of her needed to feel a little human again.

- "You didn't have to stay,"- the girl said as soon as she saw Gerard sitting on her bed, his back resting on the headboard.

- "I didn't want to leave"- he simply answered and tapped the bed beside him- "Come here... "- she sighed and thought a few months ago she would have been shaking as jelly under those circumstances. Now it seemed Joey couldn't even think of Gerard in any way that wasn't a friend.

She crawled into the bed and looked at what he was doing. He had been working on a sketch for a long while now.

- "What are you doing?"

- "Not much, just trying to ease my mind, I think"- he answered and showed Joey his drawings- "I've been working on characters for the stories I wanna write, so I keep making sketches of random thoughts and ideas I've got for them"- Gerard opened another folder and showed Joey some more of his work- "These I've developed for a long while, but I still don't feel they are ready."

- "How do you know they are ready?"- he hesitated for a second before answering.

- "I guess they never really are. You are constantly changing little things about them with time."

- "Like songs?"

- "Yeah"- the girl looked at the drawings in silence for a few minutes. Gerard looked at her as she stared at each sheet with detention. He analyzed her eyes, her lips, and her cheeks. She was still very pale, black rings under her eyes. But yet, for him, she was gorgeous. He was dying to hold her.

- "They are pretty cool,"- she said and handed them back.

- "Hey, did you ever finish the song you were writing the other day?"

- "The other day, you mean five months ago?"- he nodded, thinking it felt it was just a few weeks ago- "Yeah, I did."

- "Can I hear it?"

- "Sure, one day you'll hear it, not today, dude. Today, I don't want anything"- he nodded and watched her sighing.

- "Another movie?"- and she nodded- "Do you wanna pick it?"

- "No... I don't care what's on the screen as long as I don't think"- Gerard grabbed the remote control as Joey kept playing with the ring on her finger- "Are you going to..."

- "I'm not talking about it,"- she answered right away.

- "Sorry..."- he muted and surfed through the pay-per-view options until he picked up "The Goonies." Joey didn't say a word. That was one of Matthew's favorite movies. But she wanted to watch it. She wanted to feel he was close. She was so mad and so in love that she didn't know what to do.

Gerard put all his art supplies in his bag and cuddled next to Joey. He did it just like Frank had done the night before: like it wasn't a big deal at all. He wrapped an arm around her neck and moved closer. She didn't do anything against that. Instead, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. Gerard felt triumphant. She was in his arms, finally. But Joey had cuddled for one reason only: it was the best position to hide the tears that started falling slowly as the movie began. She remembered clearly the first time Matthew "forced her" to watch "The Goonies." It was a Saturday. It was raining outside. They spent the whole day in bed, watching movies, making love, eating chocolate chip hotcakes, and s'mores. It was the perfect day. Now it was just a hurtful memory.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Gubler could feel the anger coming from Paget's eyes as he came clean and told her the whole story. They were at his house drinking beer and talking. Mostly Matthew was doing all the talking, while his best friend decided which was the best moment to hit him.

- "You are fucked"- Paget simply said as he kept talking. He stopped and frowned. But nothing came from his mouth- "I can't believe you did that! You are disgusting, Matthew!!"

Paget lost it for a second. She never, in all the years she had known her best friend, ever thought he could do such a thing.

- "I know"

- "I just... why did you do it?"

- "I was drunk!"

- "That's not an excuse!! You've been drunk before! And your cock hadn't ended up in your ex-girlfriend's mouth, so be honest with me and tell me what the fuck happened?"

- "I don't know! When I noticed it wasn't Joey, I stopped it all!"

- "You thought your girlfriend was sucking your cock?"

- "Yes!"

- "And why did you make out with those girls at the dancefloor?! Everybody saw you!"

- "I lost it for a second, 'cos I was scared Joey might cheat!"- Matthew murmured and looked at the floor, so ashamed of his own words.

- "And you did it 'cos you were scared she would?!"- Paget yelled and smacked his head- "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

- "I don't know!"- the boy rubbed his hands against his face feeling the anger filling his whole body- "Don't you think I regret it?! I hate myself! I was stupid!"

- "Yes! You were fucking stupid! Do you know what it takes to get someone to love you the way she does?! Do you know how hard it is to find someone as weird as you?!"

- "I know it's hard! I know it's fucking impossible, and I know I fucked it up! But I need you to help me fix this!"

- "You could start by going to see her and beg for forgiveness!"

- "That's what I want to do, but mom said I have to give her a few days to calm down."

- "She is right, and you have to calm down too."

- "She said I sound like a mad man."

- "Madder than usual, yes"- Paget nodded, still serious- "And where is she now?"

- "Spain, she has a huge festival show tomorrow, it's gonna be televised..."

- "So you get to see her live?"- he nodded- "And after that?"

- "Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, she is only staying one day at those places, she is traveling by bus, so she is going to be stuck with the band all the time. And those guys hate me."

- "Right now, I hate you too."

- "Please stop hating me and help me find a way to get to her 'cos I know they are not gonna let me."

- "They have nothing to do with this whole situation! What are you talking about?"

- "Well, they've always been very protective of her, which used to bother me a lot, until I realized they loved her like a little sister, and she is happy with that 'cos she doesn't have many friends."- Matthew was talking very fast, as the words kept coming nonstop- "Eventually, we got closer, especially with Mikey. He is like her older brother on the road, and he is so fucking nice to her for a moment, I thought he was in love with her. But it turns out he loves her as a sister, which made me happy 'cos it meant she wasn't alone in that tour."

- "To the point, Matthew."- Paget sighed, annoyed.

- "Yeah, sorry. What happened was I called her after our fight, and Frank picked up the phone and told me he is going to kill me if he ever sees me again, and threaten me to beat the shit out of me if I ever try to get near her."

- "What at asshole!"

- "I know!"

- "You completely deserved that!"

- "Paget!!"

- "You would do that for me if someone breaks my heart, so deal with it"- Gubler nodded and for a second, then chuckled.

- "A few months ago, Joey told me the same thing..."- he sighed and stayed in silence- "I miss her so much it hurts."

- "I know"

- "I need to get her back..."- his friend didn't say a word, just rubbed his arm gently and cut him a short smile.

Paget couldn't promise him he was going to get her back 'cos she knew how much it hurt being cheated on, and she had never forgiven a guy for that. And by everything Matthew had told her about Joey so far, she knew she wasn't going to do that either. But she couldn't tell him to give up either. She knew he wasn't going to.

Joey sighed. The movie was over, and she was starting to feel tired. She was afraid to sleep though, she knew she would dream with Matthew Gray, and it hurt to even think about it.

- "Ready to get some rest?"- Gerard whispered. She didn't move- "I know you are awake."

- "Are you a psychic?"- she whispered, and he just smiled.

- "I can see your reflex on the screen"- he caressed her hair softly- "Do you need anything?"

- "No... thanks."

- "Do you want me to stay over tonight?"- Gerard simply asked, making sure it sounded like no big deal, though he could hyperventilate if she ever said yes- "I wouldn't mind."

- "I think I could use some time on my own"- Joey answered and moved on the bed, sitting next to him

- "I get it..."

- "Thank you, though. Thank you for taking care of me today and for bringing me so many things."

- "Hey, don't thank me for it. I'm glad I could make you smile even a little bit"- Gerard murmured and tuck some hair behind Joey's ear softly- "I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be so happy."

She didn't move, mostly 'cos she had spaced out thinking about Matthew again. She didn't seem to have room in her head for any other thought but him.

Gerard saw this as a chance to move a little further. He kept his hand in her hair and moved it slowly down to the backside of her neck. The girl chilled and looked into his eyes. That look, it wasn't a friendly one, and she just noticed it.

- "Joey, you deserve so much better than what he did to you, and if it were for me, I would give you everything, my whole life."

- "Thank you, Gerard"- she whispered and smiled- "You are a good friend."

- "I wasn't saying that as a friend."

Way smiled and moved closer to her, his nose touching hers. She didn't move. She didn't know what to do, actually. She had always thought he was incredibly hot, but she never wanted to cheat on Matthew. But now, that didn't matter anymore.

Gerard moved a few centimeters closer, and his lips touched Joey's. Electricity ran down his back as he kissed her slowly, just to make sure she wasn't going to move away. She didn't. And slowly, she kissed him back.

His hands cupped her face carefully as Gerard increased the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips. They tasted like chocolate, and they felt warm against his. It was blissful. It was like all the months he had to wait to feel that kiss had been completely worthy. That was the best kiss he had ever given, and his heart was rising so much, he thought it was going to escape from his chest.

Joey wasn't thinking. She wasn't at all. She just went along with the kiss 'cos it felt nice. And it also felt like payback. Like if by kissing Gerard, she was getting sweet revenge for what Matthew had done to her.

Gerard increased the kiss a little more, biting her lower lip and moving her closer to him. He wrapped an arm tight around her and kept a hand playing from her cheek to her neck slowly. Joey was enjoying this, Way was a pretty good kisser, and it was honestly a kiss she had thought about a million times. But it felt empty, like the kind of kiss you give to a random guy when you are drunk at a party. And this wasn't a random guy. This was her colleague, her married colleague.

- "Stop"- she whispered and broke the kiss.

- "What is it?"- she landed her hands on Gerard's chest and pushed him away softly.

- "This is wrong."

- "Why?"- Joey frowned as he held her hands and looked confused.

- "Well, apart from the obvious"- she said and pointed at his wedding right- "I'm at the lowest point of my life, and we work together. I can't afford to lose my job right now, so kissing one of my colleagues seems like a pretty shitty idea to me."

- "Not to me."

- "Gerard... that's your cock talking,"- Joey stood up and looked at him.

- "I've longed to kiss you for a long while"- he confessed following her and standing right in front of her- "And I've got the feeling so did you."

- "That's not the point. This it's wrong."

- "But it felt good, and you know it."

Gerard leaned to her, held her face, and pressed his lips against her, this time in a passionate kiss that made Joey feel weak on her knees. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his hands on her waist, moving her closer. So close that she could feel his erection, rubbing against her body.

- "You should go"- Joey whispered, gasping for air as she moved from his lips.

- "But I wanna stay"- she shook her head immediately.

- "You have to go, Gerard."

- "But, Sugar"- he murmured and rubbed his lips against her. She let him go slowly and looked at him, shaking her head again- "Ok..."- he grabbed his jacket and his shoes and landed a soft kiss on Joey's cheek- "Good night, sugar."

- "Bye, Gerard."

The singer walked out of that room and sighed. That had been the best kiss of his life. But Joey was right; it had been a mistake. However, it was a mistake he wanted to make ever since he first saw her. Still, he had just cheated on his wife. But that was a thought he needed to ignore at the moment. He had kissed the girl he loved. And he was in heaven.

Joey was in hell. She hated herself so much she wanted to die. She brushed her teeth over and over again, tears falling from her eyes. Her head hurt after so many days of crying. She had kissed another guy. And though Matthew had done the same to her, she still felt guilty and dirty. She was so sorry for what she had done; she knew it had been a terrible mistake. She didn't even want to face Gerard after that.

He was so eager for her, he had been holding that kiss for a long time, and he simply confessed it, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It meant Matthew had been right all along; Gerard had a thing on her, something that had ended up being a hot kiss. A very hot kiss. And if she hadn't stopped him, it was clear where Gerard wanted to go.

- "He had a boner for Christ Sakes!"- the girl argued, walking back to bed- "A fucking boner!"- she got under the covers, wrapping her arms around her legs, biting her lips so hard she nearly drawn blood.

Kissing someone else while still in love with Matthew didn't feel right. She didn't want to do it again. No matter how hot Gerard was. She missed her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. How was she ever going to get over him? She knew it was impossible. You don't love someone that much and successfully take him from your heart.

It was a good thing that Mikey had her phone, 'cos she felt the urge to call Matthew at the moment. That would have been stupid, and she knew it. But still, it physically hurt to miss him so much. She needed to talk to him. But Mikey had her phone... he didn't have her computer, though.

She looked for it in her backpack and started it on right away.

- "What the fuck are you doing?"- she asked herself out loud as she stared at the screen- "You can't talk to him... you are going to cave in."

Joey brushed her hands against her face and closed the computer. But after a few minutes, she poured herself a glass of whiskey and opened it again. She had decided to check her mail, and maybe Twitter, nothing related to her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

But her inbox was filled with emails from Matthew. At least twenty. Her stomach tightened as soon as she saw them. She took a sip of whiskey and opened the first one. It was sent the night before, probably after Frank had yelled at him and turned off her phone.

"I'm so sorry Yami, I know I was stupid and drunk, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. But I need you to know you are the only woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much it hurts to think of a day without even hearing your voice."

Joey was already crying. This wasn't healthy. Why was she doing it? She needed to sleep. She needed to get her mind from Matthew. But the memory of Gerard's kisses was right there hunting her too. She poured herself another whiskey and walked around the room. Maybe she could drink herself to sleep. But, she had a huge gig the next day, and she had to be professional.

- "Fuck! I wanna die..."- she sobbed and opened the next mail.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, and I get it. I just need you to understand how much I love you and that I'm willing to do anything to fix this, anything you want, everything you ask; I'll do it, but please, please don't leave me."

- "I have to stop this..."- she took another sip of her whiskey and whipped off her tears. She walked to the phone and talked to the front desk.

- "Hello, sorry to bother you, but can you please connect me with room 1201? Thank you"- the girl waited in line for what felt like ages until she heard Mikey's half-asleep.

- "Joey, are you ok?"

- "No, I'm not ok. Can you come and sleep with me, please?"

- "I'll be right there"- Joey stayed still, eyes glued on the screen, reading over and over again the last mail she had opened.

Mikey didn't even knock. He still had her key, so he just walked into the room in boxers and shirt, shoeless and with his hair made a huge mess. Mikey didn't say a word either; he just took the computer away from her and closed it, grabbed the glass, drank what was left of her whiskey, and got Joey under the covers of the bed. She was shaking and crying quietly.

- "You are gonna be ok Bug, I swear, please try to get some sleep"- he said and held her tight, spooning her- "I'm right here, I'm going to take care of you, ok?"- she nodded and sighed- "Now close your eyes and sleep, I've got you, ok? I've got you."

Joey sniffed and sobbed a little, feeling how her brother's arms tightened around her.

- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You did the same for me. I owe you my life at this point. I'm never going to leave you."

Back in Los Angeles, Matthew was drunk, calling and calling Joey without any result. Her phone was off, her voicemail was full. So he continued writing emails. At least he could put his heart out in a way, though he had no idea if she was ever going to read them.

Paget, next to him, tried to stop him. But it was useless. The boy wanted to write and ignored everything else.

- "Matthew, Matthew"- she said and shook her arm- "Buy the fucking plane ticket to see her!"

- "Yes!!"- he kind of shouted and took a paper from his pocket- "This is Yami's tour schedule... the movie ends in two days, I can go take a plane straight from the set... so I have to go to Oslo if I wanna catch her."

- "Nice! Bring souvenirs"- his friend smiled, trying to cheer him up

- "Deal"- the boy grabbed his credit card and booked the first flight he found to Norway- "You know it is our anniversary next 17th, if everything goes right, we could actually celebrate our first year together."

- "Please, Matthew, and I need you to listen to me"- Paget said seriously and looked into her best friend's eyes, making sure he would understand her, though he was wasted- "Please, whatever you do, don't fuck it up! ok?"

- "Yes."

- "'Cos this is going to be the only chance you'll get to talk to her and fix everything. Trust me."

Gubler nodded with widened eyes. He was drunk, tired, and devastated, but still, he got how serious and honest Paget was with him. He knew he wasn't going to get many chances to get Joey back. And maybe that was going to be the only one.

**

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