#why does this mother fucker have so many names this is so hard

[starry-pierrot]

TF: Rise of the beasts review.

So first off I'm just gonna say this movie didn't vibe with me as much as the last one.

Don't worry ill put a cut off so I dont clog the tag.

So I just got back from watching the new Transformers movie and personally I'll have to give it a 5/10.

It wasn't the actors, they all did fine though personally I feel some scenes were lacking with Noah and Elena. It felt like there was too many people. You got the two new humans, several new autobots and now the maximals.

It was too cluttered with characters that half the time some of them didn't even get any real scenes, mostly the maximals. Sure they were in the scenes but I dont remember their names. I don't know anything about them..beyond general fan knowledge.

I feel like we didn't need 2 humans they could have easily had Noah be in the place of Elena,like he just got his new job and he's finally making his way out of the Bronx when suddenly he's thrusted into a world ending situation! Like he just got his brother Healthcare and he was doing good and now suddenly these alien mother fuckers want to eat the planet?? Would have given him a stronger motive for wanting to destory the key, losing everything when he JUST got on the right track.

I liked Elena.I liked the woman who played her but there was no reason for there to be 2 humans and I get they were sorta trying to have her be the voice of reason about destroying the key but then that goes nowhere.

Who is the plane guy? I love him but God i can't even remember a name.

Wheeljack was fucked over im sorry I hate what they did to him. Can we please stop with the nerdy stereotype of scientists? How hard is it to make a decent Wheeljack?? For fucks sake they gave him glasses!

I did like Mirage. He was fun.

Arcee was great.

And I even liked Scourge a bit.

....Bee did not have to die. Sorry it was a waste of time.

But the one thing that has this movie just out of nowhere to me....is the plot. Like why aren't we fighting Megatron? Megatron is the middle bit of the transformers lore (depending on continuity) and then we're supposed to get the big bad planet eating god! Having Unicron come in so early just seems way out of place and makes the war on cybertron trivial in comparison.

I didn't hate the move. I had fun watching it but by God does it have some issues for me. I think why the last one worked so well was because it was a much smaller story, I wasn't expecting Unicron to show up so its out of place.

Anyway it was fun but I would have overhauled the story.

[grlcrazy]

I apologize but this will be long.

A man raped my mother and I was born. A young boy raped me for several years before I could even walk. I had sexual desire before I even knew what sex was. On top of all this, I was born a male.

Even if I transition, I will never have the opportunity to experience the woman I could have been. I have silenced my womanhood, my creativity, my spirituality, and my honesty for decades.

As long as I could remember, I long as I could remember I loved smelling feminine. If I can't be a woman, fuck, as least I can smell like one. I'll never forget it. One day I was shopping at Bath and Body Works and this woman comes up to me screaming that everything in the store is for a woman. She asked me why I was in the store. I was stealing her womanhood. I wanted to say, Bitch, please, but I walked out of the store, as always defeated.

It is so good to see so many people receive gender affirmation support yet our country hasn't evolved. I remember when Gwen Araujo was brutally murdered and Matthew Shepard murdered for being gay and his body was laid out for all to see, this is what happens when you are different, you die.

What's really fucked up about this. Everyone hates transgender people. I was 13 years old and walked into a gay club with my mother's wig and clothes. My mother was in her 70's. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, it just felt good to feel like a woman. People gender-shamed me and I left in tears never to try to live truly again.

Fucking. Dick is like crack. I was 17 when I was fucked and wasn't raped. A soldier boy. He cum inside me and nothing in the world has felt so fucking good. That was it. No one or nothing ever felt that good ever again. I tried, but I am soft and reject anything hard. I stop fucking men because I had such control of my ass muscles most men would cum within seconds. How fun was that? I had a lover who was also transgender but when I felt his five o'clock shadow. I was done. I don't want my dick. You can have it. It does me no good. All it does is remind me how fucked up I truly am.

I am god damn 58 years old. I am married with children. What the fuck am I supposed to do. I have my soulmate but she is so homophobic she would probably kill me if she knew. People are especially transphobic. It is so degrading when she belittles one of my sisters.

This world is fucked up. The very men who talk shit about us and want to pass laws to silence us are the ones driving down our streets looking to put their little dicks in our asses and suck on our titles. I think they just don't want to be exposed.

I am writing this to ask you to fucking share with assholes who think that a transgender woman is dressing in women's clothes to fulfill some fucking personal fantasy. You have no idea what the fuck I have been through. Oh year, by the way, I know a ton of women who are fucked up because some CIS asshole wanted to own her, rape her, and have incest with her.

Mother Fuckers don't know. I have family members and friends who are escorts and sex workers. These so-called Christian conservatives are fucking us and going home to their wives acting as if they are somebody special.

We are fucking human beings with life experiences that your expensive dull-ass suit-wearing limp dick mother fucker would slice your wrists if you had to walk in our shoes.

So many of us are getting killed by these assholes and nobody gives a fuck. A fucked up human being shot up in the only place of safety in Colorado Springs for our community and you want to say your thoughts and prayers are with me. I do as Jesus did. You whitewash hypocrite. You are more concerned about your appearance than who you truly are. Man judges the outside and God judges our hearts. How's your heart, you bastard. I wish I could be like Will Smith. Take my savior's name out of your fucking mouth. Bitch.

I'll end with this. I will stand up and even die for my sisters. Ladies, don't waste this opportunity. Be authentic whatever that means to you. Don't let anyone define you in any way. Know that you are not alone. I have a lifetime of pain in my heart and this is the only way I can get rid of it. Please forgive me for taking up your time.

Please know that I love you and I am hurting too. Don't take your own life. If we die, let the blood be on the fuckers who put us in this place to be murdered. Religious my ass. They have a rude awakening when they die. God isn't some bitch they can control. They don't have a fucking clue even though they are doing sinister shit in the name of God. Don't let the bastards get to you.

Thank you for reading. I hope this helps someone. If anything, vent with me Sista.

#fuckedupshit #trans #transgender #bitchplease

[saviormysticmeme]

RFA Reactions to Witchy MC

Disclaimer: They might all be a little OCC, theres some spoilers, some of them get fluffy and smutty. Mainly Sevens. Also don’t think anything I typed is the sole accurate representation of Witch craft. Pls, it’s just what I occasionally practice and I’m by no means the most informed.

If you like it pls let me kno am desperate for deh reveews uwuwuwuwwu and if you do let me know if you want the minor trio.

Lmao ok I’ll stop being garbage I’m sorry.

Yoosung

He didn’t know cause you never told him. You weren’t really scared of telling him, but there never seemed to be a time to mention it

He never noticed how many different pendants and gemstones you had, and if he did he just thought they were an ~*aesthetic*~ choice

You didn’t pay much mind to him not paying mind, and you didn’t try to avoid doing witchy things around him, you just tended to do them more when alone

So one day while Yoosung was at class you were feeling the ~vibes~ and decided to do some sachets of assorted herbs and stones for any number of purposes. You were planning a luck one, a happy feeling one, maybe even a love one for the bedroom.

You lost track of time and Yoosung came home to find you sitting at the kitchen table with a bunch of plant leaves, rocks, and tiny felt bags.

You just looked up and “Oh, uh, hey Babe”

Yoosung didn’t really know what he was looking at and just “Hey Babe……”

…….

“Whatchya doin?”

So you told him. You make sachets and charms and occasionally meditate and try to open your third eye and you believe in any number of things that are considered supernatural and-

Yoosung loves it immediately.

“Oh my god my babes a witch! You’re like, a real life mage! Oh my god so you cast spells and stuff???”

You chuckle “Well sometimes yeah but I’m not vanquishing monsters I’m usually just like, trying to make myself feel more creative”

He still loves it. He wants to learn things. Teach him the things.

He ends up sitting at the table with you and you tell him what all the different plants and stones are for. He gets super into it.

He joins you for witchy activities once a week now.

Whenever he cooks he gives you the leftovers and you put it out as an offering for any deity of your choosing.

You make him a jar stuffed with assorted things that are supposed to bring success and victory. He keeps it next to his computer and everytime he wins a tough battle he yells a thank you to you and kisses the jar.

Does not stop bragging to his online friends “My sweetheart is basically a mage. How cool??”

Jaehee

You knew Jaehee was sorta religious and you were scared to bring up the whole “Hey I participate in witchcraft thing”

You constantly ran the conversation over in your head “Hey Baehee, I uh, I’m a witch. Now contrary to popular belief, Witchcraft isn’t a religion! It’s just a practice...like...yoga. Kind of...So...cool?”

No not cool You couldn’t convince yourself to talk to her about it.

She’s really level headed...but you were so scared to ruin things with her.

So you just resolve to bottle it up and handle it another day and keep all your witchy shit packed up until you figure out what to do.

But one day you come home from shopping and find Jaehee holding a box of Tarot cards

Yours

Shit shit shit shit shit

She looks up and sees you ghosting in the doorway

“MC!”

“Please don’t break up with me” It just kinda fell out of your mouth

“What” She looks confused for a second “If anything I should ask you not to break up with me. I didn’t mean to go through your stuff, I was trying to clean the shelf and I was too short and I reached for a box and all your stuff fell out, and, I’m sorry it all just looked so interesting…”

Does she know? Baehee do you know? Speak to me.

You just stare at her for a second

“Are you mad?” She asks

“No…..are you?”

“What? Why would I be mad?”

“That I do, like, witch stuff?”

“Oh what? Not at all, I think it’s very interesting. I was at a coffee shop once and ended up meeting a wiccan actually. She and I talked for a bit. Are wiccan and witch the same thing?”

“Oh actually-” And the two of you fell into conversation, you explaining the ins and outs of everything, what's this and what's that, how to do this and how to do that. Baehee is fascinated. Fill her thirst for knowledge MC. Fill it.

From then on whenever she sees you doing stuff it’s a one sided game of 20 questions, but you don’t mind at all.

You start brewing her coffee every morning, stirring clockwise and pouring positive intentions and love into it.

Jaehee wants to know the science of witchcraft because she swears she can taste the love.

Zen

Zen found out rather quickly

He was running late to a rehearsal and he was going to take his bike, which you thought was wicked cool, but it also scared the shit out of you because this boy

Oiiiii

This boy sometimes forgets his helmet he’s in such a rush. And he fkn speeds. 

You just got really nervous and called for him to wait.

“What is it MC? I’m sorry to leave so soon but the Director just called and they need me-”

“No I know just-” you were fishing around in the bag you usually carry around with you. “I just want to give you something”

“Is it a goodbye kiss?” He smirked and sauntered over to you, he took your shoulder in his hand and went to spin you around and kiss you, but as he spun you, you put a little bag in front of his face. He just stared at it for a second.

“MC...is this...pot? You want to smoke with me befo-”

You blushed so hard “No! It’s sage, and lavender, and theres a charm fo-” You shook your head as if to physically clear your thoughts. “It’s just...a little ‘Safe Travels’ bag. I know it seems silly but I’d feel better if you took it cause I kno-”

He cut you off with a really strong kiss and took the sachet out of your hand. When he pulled away he had a big smile on his face and he looked so happy. “I’ll always keep it with me then. Thank you, Love.” And he put it in his jacket pocket and zipped it up, gave it a pat, grabbed his helmet, and headed out the door. But not before winking at you. And blowing you a kiss. And telling you all men are beasts. And asking if you ate. And-

When he got home from practice that night you guys ended up talking about your whole witchery thing

You told him you like to do a lot of divination. Palm reading, tarot reading, tea leaf reading. Sometimes when you have someone to do it with Ouiji board

MC THAT IS TOO SCARY FOR YOU DON’T TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE THEY MIGHT BE BEASTS

Zen they’re dead pls

He really likes you reading his palm. Even though you say the same thing most of the time. You realize later he just likes you holding his hand. Goddammit Zen.

But he’s really supportive, it doesn’t hurt his ego feeds off of your readings telling him he’s going to do well.

“Do the tarot cards say I’m hot?” “Zen that’s not really-” “They think I’m ugly???” “...Oh look uh….Nine of Wands. That means uh...ur so hot. Yeah. You got it.”

“You know what card I think is better?” He smirks. “What card?” You ask

Like a fucking magician, without even looking he pulls a card out of the deck and says “The Lovers” AND IT’S THE FUCKING LOVERS CARD

HOW DID HE

WHAT

ZEN

ARE YOU?

Kiss.

Jumin

You know Jumin grew up going to church. You know he’s not suuuuper devout. But Catholic enough that you reallllly don’t want to tell him. You only wear subtle things, bracelets and stuff that could pass off as just decorative and not really “Hey I’m a Witch”y

All your stuff is in storage. The cards, the stones, the jars. Almost everything aside from a few pieces of jewelry and ‘decor’ pieces.

You’ve actually been feeling pretty down about it. Your energy is at an all time low if you’re not with Jumin because in your free time this is what you’d do. But you love Jumin so much you can’t risk losing him.

You resolve to meditate still. You don’t have to be a witch to meditate.

So you get into the habit of meditating quite often. While you feel happy you can focus on searching your soul and strengthening your mind, you still miss everything else.

But you don’t have time to miss everything when there comes a week where everything is just going wrong for Jumin. Work his hard, his Dad continues to stress him out with a new girlfriend, and V is being realllly elusive again to Jumin’s dismay.

Whenever he’s home he’s in his office or pacing around the room trying to find something to distract himself. When he snuggles with you, you can feeeeel the stress radiating off of him. Even Elizabeth isn’t calming him.

So you decide it’s time to do what you do best

Spiritual healing

One day while Jumin’s at work you go out and get a bunch of candles. Like a ton. Like you just made a small business owner a very happy person. You got mostly lavender and jasmine. Both are supposed to help promote feelings of caaaalmness.

You set them all around the bedroom because it was the place most closed off from technology, people, distractions in general. You also made some tea, set it with intentions to calm, and put it on the bedside table just as Jumin was walking in the door.

“Honey your home!” You walked into the living room. Jumin kissed you on the cheek “Hello Kitten, how was your day?” You totally ignored his question and just “I have something for you. I noticed you’ve been stressed lately.” “MC you shouldn’t ha-” “Shush and just come on” You took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Once you were in there he just looked around in amazement. The room was completely dark except for the light of the candles flickering off the walls. The smell seemed to cradle the both of you in a really nice feeling.

You looked at Jumin and realized his suit was not going to be comfortable. Without saying a word you undid the top few buttons of his shirt and started untying his tie.

“Well Kitten, I have to say you certainly wanted to surprise me” He had the voice. Why does he have the voice?

He grabbed your waist and pulled you close, his sultry fucking voice in your ear “All these candles, we’re going to have fun tonight huh?”

WHAT? DADDY JUMIN NO. THIS IS NOT WHAT THE CANDLES ARE FOR.

Well I mean the idea certainly seemed to put him in a better mood so maybe you could just do that inste-

No MC! We are sticking to the plan but maybe later

You put your hands on your chest and slowly push him back “N-No Jumin that’s not why I did this”

What? Jumin Han does not compute. What are candles used for in the bedroom aside from really kinky-

You took a seat on the bed cross legged and gestured for him to sit across from you, which he did (even though he seemed a little confused and disappointed)

You handed him one of the tea cups as you took a long sip from yours. He copied your actions but kept his eyes on you. You put your cup down and so did he.

“I want us to meditate together” You said. He just kind of stared at you. “You’ve been really stressed out lately and I think this could be really good for you!”

He let out a long breath. You could tell instantly he was not feeling it. “MC I appreciate it but I don’t think sitting in the quiet is going to help me right now.”

No but pouring hot wax on me would?

“Please Jumin. I know it seems really silly to you know, but you’d be surprised how good you can feel after.” He pursed his lips. Time to pull out the big guns “Please? For me?”

He held his breath for a moment and sighed. Hook line and sinker.

“Alright. What do I do?”

Your face lit up and you let out a little squeal and clapped. You turned on some white noise that sounded like ocean, straightened your back, closed your eyes, and let out a deep breath.

“So first, your breathing-” And you began walking Jumin through the meditation process. You used your instructor voice, calm, slow, relaxing. You’d occasionally open your eyes to peek at Jumin and make sure he was actually doing what you were saying and not just pretending. To your pleasant surprise, he was. And he genuinely seemed to be doing better than before. His whole aura felt lighter, more organized.

After about an hour of sitting together, at least 20 mins of it were just silence, you start to bring him back to the real world.

“And open your eyes when you feel grounded”

He took a minute and opened them

You could see a hint of amazement in them

“Well...I actually do feel very….relaxed.” You clap, ecstatic. “MC, this is...strange. I’ve sat in the quiet before but it’s never felt so good...How did you do that?”

Meditation became a common thing for the two of you. So common Jumin renovated a room to be your personal meditation place. He said being in the bedroom with you and candles could be verrrry distracting sometimes. He had the room set up with very comfortable mats, a little table that would sit between the two of you with tea and whatever post meditation snack you chose, surround sound for your white noise or music, and basically anything you could ask for.

More and more you incorporated your craft into your own personal meditation, never wanting to force it onto Jumin, but when he’d question the gems surrounding you you didn’t hesitate to tell him. You felt meditation had brought you two even closer and you knew you could trust him. So you told him all about your witchy shenanigans.

“Kitten, you thought I wouldn’t accept it?”

“I was scared. So scared of losing you, just over some personal beliefs…”

“Kitten, even if I was to disagree, I could never leave you just because our spiritual beliefs don’t line up. I would respect that you have your practice and I have mine, simply because that seems like the adult thing to do, but also because I...I love you.”

You may have teared up a bit. Maybe. I dont know I’m a bitch with a kink for understanding and accepting partners ok leave me alone

Baeyoung/707/Luciel/Love of my Life

I feel like Seven would figure it out quick and wouldn’t even be phased

“Boy MC you sure like mason jars”

“Uh” O shit that was fast

“And gems, and plants, and pentagrams, and- oh. I get it. You’re a witch?!”

“Yeah…” Is...Is he cool with it

“Neat!!!”

707 witch fanboy confirmed

He starts talking about all the metaphysical health benefits of all your stuff

Seven I know it’s my stuff

Yeah but get this- Then he drops mad knowledge on you that you didn’t know.

“How did-” “Witchcraft always struck me as really cool, so I researched it in my free time a lot when I was younger….MC do you know what this means?” What does it mean Seven “We’re getting a cat” Seven I don’t need a ca- “No you need to have black cat to be a real witch” Seven I think you just wan- “And if our cat is all black it’ll look extra cute when she plays with Elly~” I don’t think Jumi-

You guys got the cat. His name is Yin. Jumin is really confused as to why Seven starts calling Elly ‘Yang’ but that’s for another time.

You never really address Seven’s feelings on witchcraft vs his upbringing. If he’s happy you’re happy.

He’s very happy. He loves watching you do witchy things. He usually sits there with a dopey smile on his face. He swears he’s so in love with you and everything you do and ugh, you’re his little Witchy Babe <3

He has at least 3 charms on him at any point in time that you made for him.

During hugs he loves taking long whiffs because you always smell good

You guys go stargazing a lot and look at constellations. He liked doing that even before he knew you were a witch but now that he knows you guys talk about the gods and myths they align with and astrological meaning and what not.

Seven keeps joking about how cool it’ll be when you guys get married on the moon because you’re gonna be a Space Witch.

Seven programs a little digital alter on the computers in the house. They’re so cute and thoughtful and interactive it’s so neat.

He also makes you the coolest witch blog the internet ever did see.

You always get random spells forwarded to you by him

Suddenly he goes on a ‘Bath Magic’ kick. Literally all day “Yule time bath” “Self love bath spell” “Protection from bad energy bath”.  You’re at work so you just text him back “Whats your obsession with these lol?”

…

“I was hoping we could do them together ;)”

Ohgodohgodohgod don’t blush at work.

You get home that day and you hear running water upstairs. You know immediately. You go upstairs to find Seven waiting for you at the door of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and a couple necklaces you had made for him, his glasses slightly fogged up from the steam of the bath he just drew

“My Love?”

Insta melted heart oh mah gawwwwwww

Red candles light the room and it smells amazing. What is that? Seven what did you mix holy shit. And then, of course, rose petals floating in the tub and littering the floor.

You two slide into the bath after Seven takes his sweet time stripping you down, kissing you here and there

The second you hit the water you feel relaxed. Hot baths are nice. Hot baths with a hot boy are double nice. Hot baths with a hot boy catering to your Witch vibes? Fkn fire.

“Saeyoung,” he knows you’re feeling good when you use his real name. “What is this for? I mean, roses? Red candles? I already love you, you goof ball.”

“I know. It’s...It’s a few things I guess. It started as a self love thing.” What. “I know you hate it when I’m hard on myself, so I try not to be but sometimes I just...can’t help it. So I looked up some self love charms and what not and I found a bath spell and figured it was worth a shot…” Your heart broke a little. You couldn’t take your eyes off the water. You thought he had been feeling better since saving his brother. You never noticed...oh god you felt so awful you could cry. You felt like you failed him.

You turned your head to him “Seven, I’m so sorr-”

“I’m not finished.” You looked at his face finally and a small smile played on his lips. “And I kept looking at bath stuff and there were couples ones too and I realized that whenever I’m sad. Whenever I feel unworthy...you’re there for me. You always make me feel loved and make me feel worthy. And that as long as you’re by my side...everything will be ok. So when I found a couples bath and realized it had a lot of the same ingredients as the lonely one I figured...why not do both?”

He pulled you close, mouth so close his breaths kept grazing your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. “And let’s face it… bathing together with rose petals and candles is pretty fucking hot”

fuCKIN CHILLS

“And I put sugar in the water” he ran his tongue across the back of your shoulder “It makes you taste pretty fkn good”

M e l t e d

Ok I’m done being a garbage can bye

[whatisbraincells]

people wanted it(so did I) so here is my therapy au for NWH(SPOILERS)

I called it The Spider-Men AU or alternatively Spider-Bros

They are brothers

The spider really likes the Parker boys, since it bit all three

Tom is Peter, Tobey and Andrew are Tobey and Andrew because fuck creative naming

Peter’s trans, all three are bi

Peter is 15, Andrew is 17 and Tobey is 19

Tobey’s doing online college

They have bunkbeds and fouton in their room

They fight over the top bunk a lot

Peter’s dating MJ, Tobey’s dating Wade and Andrew is dating Harry

Their suits are very similar, Pete’s has black, Andrew’s has Navy and Tobey’s has blue but otherwise the same

They tell the public they’re “the Spider Men”

The public refers to them as “the small one”(Pete) “the lanky one”(Andrew) and “the responsible one”(Tobey) or more offically “Navy” “Blue” and “Black”

They call each other “little shit”(Pete) “bitch face”(Andrew) “mother fucker”(Tobey) when on the job

Aunt May knows and approves, though she gets worried about her boys

She’s very supportive

Tobey and Andrew wear their suits under their clothes, but it’s quite hard for Peter to piss in so he has to change

This leads to a lot of “PETE HURRY UP” “THIS IS CIS PRIVLAGE”

They are pure chaos

“MOTHER FUCKER WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT” “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM BITCH FACE”

*Pete misses a swing after being chased and falls in front of Andy* “nice of you to join us”

*goon gets sent rolling in the other direction* “they see me rollin’ the hatin’”

*Tobey and Peter talking about math and science and how it will help the situation, Andy knowing full well he is of the same intelligence* “y’all are nerds”

*electro does something* *all three boys sarcastically at the same time* “Gasp, shocking”

They quote vines a lot

Many people have theorized that the group are teenagers

Lots of hair fussing

When Andy sees Pete in the hall, he punches his shoulder then fusses his hair.

If there’s some kind of problem, he fusses his hair first, then punches his shoulder

They have an unspoken agreement with the old ladies that live above them not say anything when they see the boys sneak back in through the window

Tobey is the least sneaky, he makes a lot of noise

Tobey’s organic webs are an anomaly in the family

They develop the web fluid for Andy and Pete from his webs

Toxic masculinity? Never heard of her

I really wanna put Miles in this somehow but that would be few years into the spidermaning tm and I wanna start this around a few months in

Peter’s spidey isn’t openly trans because it’s nobody’s business but they agree to do an interview and the interviewer says something transphobic and the other boys are like “oh she had it coming” and Peter just laughs and looks at the camera and says, “I’m trans dumbass”

For pride month, they spider man with bi flags as capes

Pete and Andy walk to school together every day because it gives them a bit of normality

Tobey on the other hand has unlimited webbing and swings wherever he wants

None of them will admit they are hurt so they always drag each other to the hospital where they have an agreement with Dr Cristine Palmer on behalf of Dr Stephen Strange to patch them up and not say anything

They’re about to go into a big battle and Andy just grabs his brothers shoulders and says “I love you guys”

(They say it back)

Tobey refers to them as his baby brothers and Peter refers to them as his big brothers. Andrew calls them each respectively

When Pete first brings MJ home Andy gets all fake offended when he doesn’t introduce them

“Peter where are your manners young man”

“UGH MJ these are my brothers, Andrew and Tobey��

“Thank you.”

Tobey chaprones homecoming much to his brothers’ dismay

A convo that absolutely happened

Pete: “Is it still ok to kill spiders now?”

Andy: “yeah… wait”

Tobey: “OH MY GOD IS IT”

Matt Murdock is a family friend and he stops by for dinner every once and a while(very often May’s microwave dinners and taste in takeout is very good)

They throw his laundry in with theirs because he doesn’t have that much clothes(usually it’s in the same wash as the spidersuits so all the blood gets out together)

They also groccery shop for him sometimes because the stores don’t have brail

He knows about the boys being spidermen and Daredevil is seen teaming up with them on a regular basis

I like to think he has a cordinated high five with all three of them

He comes over for Christmas dinner

Along with the Moraleses(I snuck my boy in there) because they are also family friends

Wade joins the year that he starts dating Tobey ‘cause he has no family

Tobey wraps all presents that aren’t for him because Andy and Pete suck at it and Aunt May gets overwhelmed

I’ll add more when I come up with it and add the ao3 link when I write it

Request to be @ed when I post and I will try my best to

[fific7]

Evil Twins - Part 1

Billy Russo & Aleksander Morozova x Reader

Summary: When two worlds which have already collided then collide with yours - that’s an explosive situation.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly a mix of fluff and angst with quite a lot of lemon zest 🍋 My Fantasy Punisher/Shadow and Bone crossover AU.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

New York City

Billy Russo awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed and grabbing for his Glock. What the hell? Thunder was rumbling loudly overhead and he sighed, putting the gun back under his pillow and laying his head back down. It was probably the bright flash of the lightning followed by the beginning of the thunderclap that had awakened him.

He was just closing his eyes again when he spotted something, only vaguely visible in the dim light from outside, in the corner of his room. It was…. swirling?

Grabbing his gun again, he sat up and pointed the Glock at the corner. It was getting bigger. “You’ve got two seconds to show yourself before I blow your fucking head off,” he announced, calmly.

He squinted a bit to get a better look but it didn’t make much difference. What the fuck was it?! Smoke? He decided he had no choice and leant over, switching on the wall-mounted bedside light.

The… smoke cloud?… was still increasing, becoming bigger and blacker with every second. Then he saw the vaguest silhouette of a tall figure within it, moving towards him. He leapt out of bed, on the far side of it so it was between him and whatever the fuck this was.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Aleksander Morozova - or General Kirigan, the Darkling, the Black Heretic, the Starless Saint, whichever of his many names he decided to call himself at any given point in time - could see a tall figure brandishing some kind of strange gun at him as he began to emerge from the swirling shadows.

Following certain unfortunate incidents - including a huge and furious argument with his darling mother - he’d decided it would be politic to get out of Ravka for a while, much as he didn’t really want to. But this wasn’t where he should’ve ended up. What was this place?

He emerged completely from the shadows and immediately felt something bounce off his kefta. He heard a ‘ding’ and looked down at the wooden floor at his feet. A bullet.

Looking quickly back up, he saw that the man opposite him was glaring at him, eyes wide and unbelieving, gun still pointing at him. He also realised that looking at this man was like looking in a mirror.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was dumbfounded. He’d just shot the fucker! And the bullet had bounced off him. Fuck. He threw the gun down onto the bed and slid his hand under his other pillow, pulling out his Ka-Bar. No way he’d get past that.

He took a moment to have a good look at the dude opposite him.

Dressed in riding boots and some kinda long black tunic thing, with a black fur-collared full-length cape over it. What a freak! Was he a goth or something? But then he realised something even freakier…. this guy looked exactly like him.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The two of them were still contemplating each other, when finally Billy spoke. “Who are you? And what are you?”

Aleksander laughed. “Usually it’s me asking those questions.” Billy huffed, “You’re in my fuckin’ apartment, so just answer them!” He saw the guy draw himself up, and he said, “I am Aleksander Morozova, also known as General Kirigan, commander of the Second Army of the Grisha.”

“Means fuck all to me,” grunted Billy. “One name not enough for you? And why do you look like me? Are you some kinda shapeshifter or somethin’?”

“I have many names because I am centuries old. And I don’t know what a… shapeshifter?…is,” said the other, “…but I am the Shadow Summoner. And who are you? Where is this?” he waved a hand round at the apartment.

Billy scoffed, “Centuries old?!! Oh fuck off. You’re the same age as me by the looks of ya! I’m Billy Russo, ex-US Marine Lieutenant and now CEO of Anvil. That’s a security company, mainly staffed by ex-military vets. And this….” he also waved his hand around, “…is my penthouse apartment in New York City.”

Aleksander shook his head, “I have never heard of that place.”

Billy eye-rolled, “How can you not have heard of New York?!” he asked, incredulously. “And what the fuck is a Shadow Summoner?”

“It’s becoming obvious we are from two different worlds. I seem to have been diverted from my intended course, I don’t know why,” shrugged Aleksander. “Well maybe it’s time you took off to wherever it is you were headed for in the first place,” said Billy.

“It seems that I have been brought here for some specific reason,” replied Aleksander, “and it also seems I cannot leave for the moment, I have already tried.” He waved both hands around, firstly extending and then curling up his fingers, watching them closely as he did but it was clear that nothing at all was happening. “You see? Nothing. It is worrying to me. My shadows are no longer obeying my commands at present.”

Billy sighed and perched on the edge of his bed, “Great! Just fuckin’ great! This is just…! So when can you leave?” The other man spread out his arms, “I have no idea.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

Way across the Atlantic, you were already hard at work in your little bookstore in Appledore, Devon. You had a snug apartment above the store and had filled it with lots of your favourite things. It was a cute little coastal town and you loved living there. The community was small and friendly especially in the winter months, only increasing in summer with all the tourists who came to stay. As long as you made a decent living during the holiday season - which you normally did - then winter was a much calmer, chilled time of year.

You added a final book to the new display in the centre of your store and stepped back to take in how it was looking. Yeah, not bad if you did say so yourself. It was comprised of a fantasy trilogy for young adults about some ancient guy who could summon up shadows, and was a bit of a villain from what you could tell from the story synopsis on the book covers.

Not your cup of tea, to be honest. Generally speaking, all types of action stories were more your thing - something with a bit of ‘va-va-voom’. In fact, you were looking forward to tonight when you’d decided you were going to sit down with a nice tub of ice cream and rewatch one of your favourite series. The one with a relentless avenging ex-Marine whose family had been killed and his psycho ex-Marines buddy. Who happened to be rather hot to your mind.

You sighed a little, heading back behind the counter. That was the only thing about Appledore. It was a lovely place, but there was a distinct lack of hot guys.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

Billy and Aleksander were sitting on separate sofas in Billy’s living area, eyeing each other warily. Aleksander had been trying to explain to Billy all about his world, the Grisha, the Fold, volcras, Ravka, the Sun Summoner, sand skiffs - as much as he could.

It had blown Billy’s mind, to be honest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. In turn, he’d explained all about his military career and the shitshow which had eventually developed once he’d come back to New York. Aleksander looked as equally confused as Billy.

Billy sighed, “I mean, what the hell are you gonna do? You don’t belong here. I need to go to work in a couple of hours. I’m not leaving you here so I’d need to take you to Anvil with me, and you sure as hell can’t go out looking like that.”

Aleksander looked down at his kefta which he’d unbuttoned. His cape was draped over the back of the sofa. “What is wrong with the way I look?” he huffed. “S’pose I could always say you were going to a Comic Con,” muttered Billy. “A what?” “A Comic Con. it’s where fans of fantasy comics go to have fun. They dress up as their favourite characters sometimes. I could always say it was cosplay.”

Aleksander shook his head, “I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. Are you saying I’d look out of place in my uniform? All the Grisha wear these,” he pointed at his kefta. “Not what we wear here,” said Billy, “…and I still don’t get why you look so much like me.”

“I have no idea!” said Aleksander, through gritted teeth, “I told you that already!” “Alright, alright! Calm down.” “I AM CALM!!!” roared the other man.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

Slightly later that morning, Billy was showered, suited and booted and ready for work. He’d persuaded his uninvited visitor to put on a borrowed leather jacket of Billy’s over his kefta as Aleksander refused to take it off. He’d also made him put on a pair of black trainers, which he’d done very reluctantly. These two items had instantly transformed the freaky-looking guy into someone at least a little more acceptable to your average New Yorker.

Aleksander was wriggling around in the jacket, “It’s not very comfortable.” Billy heaved yet another large sigh - he felt like this was all he’d been doing this morning - “Look, just wear it! You’ll get used to it.” He noticed the other guy sniffing at the collar of the jacket, then his eyes lifted to Billy’s, “You wear perfume?!” “Men’s cologne,” snapped Billy, “or aftershave, as it’s also known because - guess what! - you use it after you’ve shaved!”

His fingers stroking his chin, Aleksander nodded, “Okay, that I understand. We do not use this perfume in Ravka.” “Cologne!” yelled Billy. “Fine, cologne then. Why don’t you like it when I call it perfume? That’s what it is, after all.” “Women wear perfume. Men wear cologne. Okay? Now c’mon, I’m gonna be late.”

Billy strode over to his front door and tried to open it. The handle wouldn’t budge. He shook it, rattled it, pulled the door handle back and forward, exerting more and more strength but nothing worked. He stood back from the door. “It won’t open,” he said, rather unnecessarily. He looked at Aleksander, “Is this you? Or something to do with you?” “No!” he protested, “I have nothing to do with this.”

A somewhat raspy female voice spoke from behind them, “No, but I do.”

The two men swung round, both gaping as they saw that there were what could only be described as rippling waves distorting the whole interior of Billy’s flat. The light had also diminished quite drastically and then they both saw a woman’s head and shoulders start to become defined and then fully visible in amongst the ripples. She seemed to float there at head height but she obviously wasn’t physically present.

“Mother!” exclaimed Aleksander.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

You snuggled down amongst the soft cushions on your sofa, tub of ice cream and spoon in hand and scrolled to the series you were looking for. It was quite gory in places but you loved it - except for the bit right at the end where the hot dude got killed. That made you sad although you couldn’t deny he definitely had psychopathic tendencies.

As you were looking for the one you wanted to watch, another series caught your eye in the ‘Suggested for You’ section. Hey, it must be based on that trilogy of books you had in the store right now. Maybe you’d give it a try after you’d finished your current one.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

New York City

“Mother?” echoed Billy, “….what’s going on here?!”

The woman’s head swivelled towards him then back to Aleksander. “My two boys, together again. How sweet.”

“What!?” said the two men in tandem. She gave a bitter laugh, “How I managed to produce two such problematic children, I’ll never know.” “What are you talking about, Baghra?” ground out Aleksander. Billy was just standing there, dumbfounded and looking between the two of them when suddenly her glare focussed in on him.

“Maxim.” Billy returned her stare, “I’m Billy!” he corrected her. She shook her head, “You will forever be Maxim to me. And as I’m your mother, do not argue with me. Now…. no doubt Aleksander has been making a great fuss about how he’s many centuries old, has he?” “He did mention it,” said Billy, begrudgingly. She nodded, “I thought he might have. Listen to me, both of you. You are twins, so obviously you were born within minutes of each other. To me.” The two men exchanged glances, before looking back at her. “It became obvious to me that Aleksander - from a relatively early age - was going to cause himself and everyone around him nothing but trouble and strife, so I took a radical step.” “What did you do, Baghra?” questioned Aleksander.

“If you’d have patience, I’m trying to tell you!” she snapped, before continuing, “I got one of the few Heartrenders in existence at that time to take Maxim out of Ravka to a secret location. There, he placed him in long-term suspended animation. When you…” she pointed an accusatory finger at Aleksander, “….started all that nonsense with the Sun Summoner and hunting for the stag, I travelled with another Heartrender to where Maxim was, and brought him out of his enforced hibernation. I had to protect him as there was no guarantee you’d survive, Aleksander.” She stared at his scowling face and carried on speaking.

“He had no memories remaining of his past life and so I took him into the forest, there is a portal there which only I know of. There used to be more knew about it but I am the only one left now. Other universes can be reached through it. And I decided to send Maxim to another one. This one. It was only three months ago in Ravkan time, but in this universe more than thirty years have passed.”

“Wait… what?!” Billy was pissed. “You… you just threw me into some portal and walked away? Not knowing where I would end up?” “I had to save one of my sons!” she spat out, “…the other one had lost his mind and was on a collision course with disaster!” Billy put his head in his hands, before looking up again and raging at her, “I was abandoned for a second time by the woman I thought was my mother in this universe! She was a drug user, a total mess! I was placed in an orphanage… it was terrible!” He saw a remorseful look pass over her face for a split second, “I am sorry, Maxim! But I had no choice. Then I had to step in again when he…” pointing again at Aleksander, “….was nearly killed by volcras. I managed to get him to the portal before he fully regained consciousness. He thinks it was his idea to leave Ravka after we had an argument, but I managed to plant that idea in his mind before I pushed him into the portal.”

Billy and Aleksander both snorted in unison, then glanced at each other again. Billy looked back at her, “You’re sorry? That doesn’t quite cover it. I went to war! And now I’m in a very bad situation due to things which went down in Afghanistan during that war.” Aleksander chipped in, “And how dare you make a decision like sending me to another universe without consulting me first?”

The sigh Baghra gave echoed round the apartment. “You are a pair of ungrateful whelps! And now it sounds like I have to get you of trouble too!” She pointed at Billy this time. “I firstly had to find some very old documents about it, but I managed to find out how to enter the limbo section of the portal, which this is, because I wished to speak to both of you before I sent you on your next journey.” She lifted her hands and swirled them around in a kind of ritualistic fashion, “Be on your way to the next universe!” she chanted, and suddenly the rippling got even more pronounced.

Billy and Aleksander began feeling overwhelmingly dizzy, feeling as if they were falling but in fact realised they seemed to be rushing through time and space.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Devon, UK

It was Saturday tomorrow so because you could sleep in a bit as you opened later, you finished the first series (but not the second one - it always upset you) of the one you’d originally been watching, and had then moved on to the one based on the trilogy.

You peered more closely at your TV screen - yeah! you were right, the hot bad guy looked so similar to the hot bad dude in the other series they could be twins! Was it the same actor? You’d need to check on the credits but it must be, surely.

No reflection on the series you were watching, but having finished your ice cream you dozed off during episode 6.

You woke up - you had no idea how much later - and as you sat up slightly, realised that you were feeling very strange. Standing up from the sofa, you were so dizzy that you collapsed back down onto it. You tried not to panic, but you’d no clue as to why you felt so unwell all of a sudden.

Then you noticed that your apartment appeared to be rippling. Rippling??!! What the…. The rippling waves began to die down a little and you were suddenly aware of two looming figures standing over you. Their outlines and features slowly became more defined, more solid, and eventually you realised you were looking up at both the hot bad dudes from the TV.

Of course you were.

Okay, your reeling mind said to you, maybe the celestial Powers That Be had been listening when you were complaining about the lack of hot guys in your town.

They were both looking down at you, clear interest in their eyes. Maybe because you were wearing silky shorts with matching tank T. Your sleepwear didn’t leave too much to the imagination.

So you stared at them, and they stared right back at you, although again you were acutely aware of two sets of very dark eyes roaming all over your body.

You wondered if someone had spiked your ice cream.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar

(Lessons 1-5!)

Part 1 Part 2 Lessons 5-6 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

So we obviously know that things would run a little differently with L!MC instead of a normal human MC, but just how differently do things go?

No Mammon, you are not allowed to babysit!

Unlike in canon, Mammon needs to be kept away from MC at the start. Why? He’s known this kid for less than a day, he’s gonna try and use them for scams.

Everyone else in the house? Well, they’re of... observing MC. This is a first, a half human kid just wandering around the house...

MC and Lucifer, despite their amicable meeting, were in this really awkward beginning stage where they didn’t really know what to do with each other.

“So...” MC resisted the urge to twiddle their thumbs as they followed their father through the halls of the House of Lamentation. This was their home for the next year. It was very grand... and also very creepy in some places. “Where’s my room?”

“Right here.” Lucifer stopped suddenly in front of a door in the hallway, nearly causing MC to crash into him. He opened up the door, the room was very very pink. “Asmodeus decorated, you can redecorate as you see fit.”

MC popped their head in and looked around, there were approximately a thousand pillows scattered around the bed. It was the perfect amount! The very pink colour scheme was... okay. Maybe they’d be able to switch some of it out for a nice blue.

“It’s nice! Thank you,” MC was about to say Lucifer, then father, then just shut their mouth. What were they supposed to call him? They had known each other for like... an hour. He seemed like the type to want to be called father, he was too posh to be ‘dad’ or ‘pops’, and calling their father by his first name seemed way too casual as well... Parental Figure..? Guardian? Sir..? Should they call him sir???

The fact that MC ended their sentence like they were going to continue it left the two in a very awkward silence. A+ job at conversation.

“Anyway,” Lucifer finally broke the silence. “If you need time to settle in, we can pick up the tour later.”

“N-no, it’s okay! I didn’t really bring anything so...” MC was in the middle of mentally cursing themselves out, they thought they had successfully avoided falling into the awkward middle schooler stereotype! “We can keep the tour going.”

“Alright then.” Lucifer turned and motioned for MC to follow. Wow... he was very... curt? Was that the right word to use? MC hoped this was as awkward for him as it was for them.

The next stop was the portrait staircase, Lucifer explained each one down to each minute detail, MC listened in rapt attention.

“We received that one from a painter from the sixth layer of the Devildom, it was quite a rare find.”

“How many layers are there?”

“Nine, we’re in the centre most layer. This is the most highly defended part of the Devildom.” Lucifer explained.

“Oh,” MC smiled. “Cool, so it’s like how Dante described it in the Divine Comedy?”

“Mostly, some changes have been made since that time.”

“Ah, okay.” MC nodded, a thought came to them which made them clear their throat to suppress a giggle. “May I ask a question that might bother you?”

Lucifer turned and raised an eyebrow at them. “You may ask one such question.”

“Why did Dante say you were frozen in an ice lake?”

Lucifer looked around, once he was sure that no one was listening, he turned back to MC, his voice was slightly lower when he answered. “I was ice skating with Lord Diavolo, I fell through the ice and into the lake right as Virgil and Dante arrived. Of course, Dante had to embellish or I’d smite him, if only he left out the ice part.”

To MC’s credit, they didn’t laugh, but they weren’t doing a very good job of hiding how hard it was to not burst into laughter. “Oh my... how upsetting...”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’d tell you not to tell anyone but,” his lips quirked up into a smile. “No one would believe you if you said anything anyway.”

MC gasped, but the gasp ended up releasing the laugh they were holding in.

The half demon noticed some of the other portraits on the wall, each of the brothers had a portrait, there were two demons that MC didn’t recognize. So that was their family... they wondered if their picture might be on that wall one day...

“Who’s he?” MC pointed at the portrait between Mammon’s and Satan’s.

“That’s Leviathan, the third eldest, the Avatar of Envy, and the Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy.”

‘Oooo, so he’s a military guy!’ MC thought to themselves. ‘And the third most powerful brother? Wow... he must be crazy scary...’

“What about him?” MC pointed at the seventh and final portrait.

It may have just been MC’s imagination, but they swore they saw Lucifer’s expression sour slightly.

“That’s Belphegor, the youngest and the Avatar of Sloth.” Lucifer explained. “He is currently in the human world as an exchange student.”

“Oh,” MC studied the portraits a bit more. “Cool! I hope he’s having a good time up there.”

“As do I.” Lucifer replied. “Now we should move on to the Underground-”

“LUCIFER!” Asmodeus cried. “MAMMON’S BEING STUPID AGAIN!”

Lucifer sighed and dragged a gloved hand down his face. “We’ll continue this tour later, MC. Feel free to explore some more, try not to break anything.”

“Because the things might be cursed?”

“That and the things are old and expensive.”

MC spends the rest of the day chilling in the house with Asmo, who peppers MC with ALL the questions.

They does their best to answer... but it’s clear Asmo was hoping for something a little more interesting.

“So, do you run the human world?”

“No. No I do not.”

Finally, Mammon escapes whatever punishment Lucifer’s got him caught up in and tried to get MC involved in something that’ll probably make them lose their money.

Mini HC! A demon’s wings, tail, or horns might pop out randomly if they aren’t paying attention! The demon doesn’t even need to be in their true demonic form for this to happen. It happens more often with younger demons like MC!

Mammon stops his little scheme when he notices that MC’s wings have popped out and left a few stray feathers lying about... he can hear the CHA CHING sound already.

Our favourite dummy tried to Mission Impossible his way into MC’s room but MC caught him trying to make off with some loose feathers after they came back with a dustpan to clean them up.

Eventually, it was dinner time, and Levi was still camped out in his room. Mammon got sent to get him out, and he decided to drag MC along with him.

“I don’t think we should bother him-”

“Sh! We gotta get him out of his stupid room or he’s gonna stay in there until the exchange year’s over.” Mammon snapped, stopping in front of Leviathan’s door.

“I still don’t think we should-”

Mammon rudely interrupted poor, aghast MC by slamming his fists against the door. “LEVI! GET UP! DINNER’S READY!”

The only response was someone increasing the volume on whatever show was playing behind the door. Wow, petty. MC suppressed a snort until they realized exactly what they were hearing.

Was that...

“Is that the Sailor Moon theme?” MC turned to Mammon and asked. The moment the question left their lips the pair heard someone practically bolt to the door. It swung open and hit Mammon right in the face.

“MOTHER FUCKER-”

“You!”

Ah, so this was the Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy. MC didn’t know that track pants and headphones were a part of the uniform.

“You like anime?!” Levi asked, MC slowly nodded.

“Y-yeah..?”

Quick as lightning, MC was pulled into the room, and Levi slammed the door shut, tragically, the door hit Mammon again.

“LEVI YOU ASS-”

Leviathan didn’t seem too interested in Mammon’s chorus of curse words and angry knocks, he was grabbing some figurines off shelves and showing some to MC.

“Do you know who this is?!”

“That’s White Blood Cell from Cells at Work. What about Mamm-”

“How about this!”

“Violet Evergarden from the show of the same name, now Levia-”

“Whose this?!”

“LEVIATHAN!” MC stomped their foot and pointed at the door. “Mammon said we need to go eat dinner.”

“Don’t interrupt me, human!” Levi hissed, MC rolled their eyes and snorted.

“Nice to meet you, by the way.” MC crossed their arms and let their wings appear and puff up behind them.

“...w-whu-WHAT?!”

“We have to go to-” MC was cut off yet again by Levi passing out. Wow... what a day...

Mammon was still pounding on the door, MC rolled their eyes and opened it.

“He passed out, can you carry him?”

Mammon was decidedly not careful with his dear little brother when he dragged him out of his room and into the dining room. When Levi finally woke up, he got an earful from Lucifer, and tried to kill Mammon.

Apparently money was owed that Mammon wasn’t about to pay.

So yeah, MC and Levi’s alliance did not stem from desperation, it stems from otaku-camaraderie.

MC and Levi planned their credit-card hostage situation over a fun evening of watching anime.

Mammon never knew what hit him...

“Okay Mammon, pay up or your credit card gets cut up.” MC playfully opened and closed the scissors before poising them to cut up the helpless credit card. Mammon let out a shriek and shook his head.

“NONONONONO- don’t do that!” Mammon put his hands up and let out a nervous laugh. “MC... wh-what’s with all the animosity..? We’re buddies, right?”

MC snorted and rolled their eyes. “Buddies don’t try and make money off each other’s feathers.”

“You heard them, Mammon.” Levi snickered. “Pay me back the money you owe me!”

“I don’t have the money right now!”

MC shook their head. “Pity... oh well, bye bye Goldie-”

“The money’s in my sock drawer- just please put the scissors down!”

They slowly lowered the scissors. “What do you think, Levi?”

“Hmmm... you have two minutes.” Levi said, Mammon took off in a sprint out of the kitchen.

“Nice job Agent L!” MC chirped, holding their hand out for a high five, Levi looked positively elated and gleefully hit his hand against MC’s.

“We did it! I’m finally going to have enough money to go to the live show! Couldn’t have done it without your help, Agent Near.”

“Wait- why am I Near?” MC asked. “You get to be L and I have to be Near?”

Levi crossed his arms and huffed. “Would you rather be Mellow?”

“No! I want to be Light! We agreed that I’d be Light!” MC hissed. Levi, literally hissed back.

Rude.

Anyway, Levi got paid, and everyone had a very entertaining breakfast. Well, Mammon didn’t have a very good time, but boo hoo he should have paid Levi back sooner.

I think MC felt legitimately bad for Mammon, all the insults and jabs being aimed at him made MC feel a little guilty...

MC took care to be extra sweet that day, and it made Mammon feel a bit better. You know what made both of them feel amazing?

Screwing with the dipshits that were talking crap about the two of them.

MC didn’t need super-hearing to notice that some of the demons at RAD found it to be peak comedy that Mammon got slapped with babysitting duty.

“...do you want to mess with them?”

“What?”

“Too late, I’m doing it with or without you.”

Mammon was totally in, obviously. A little magic to move some of the lesser demons’ things around and voila! They were all at each other’s throats and Mammon and MC got to enjoy a fun lunchtime show!

The Purgatory Hall crew got to meet MC too, of course!

“And this,” Lucifer gestured to MC. “Is the other human exchange student.”

MC popped up from behind one of the rows of desks and gave the three newcomers a toothy grin. “Nice to meet you!”

Simeon’s calm and serene expression dropped almost immediately as he quickly looked from Lucifer to MC. The latter just gave him an innocent smile and tilted their head.

“Is something the matter?” MC asked, through the corner of their eye they saw Lucifer smirk slightly.

“N...” Simeon snapped back to reality. “No, nothing’s the matter, it’s nice to meet you, MC.”

“You awful demons!” A much younger voice yapped. “You brought a human child down here?! Shame on you!”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I’m overwhelmed with guilt, put me out of my misery.”

“Oh!” MC gasped. “You’re the chihuahua!”

“Wh-what?!”

“What?” MC shook their head and shrugged. “What’s the matter with me being a kid? You look like you’re ten.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m well over-”

“Am I just going to go ignored?” The third and final stranger asked, a cheeky/very suspicious looking grin on his face.

“Right, you.” Lucifer sighed. “This is Solomon, another human exchange student.”

“It’s nice to finally meet the other... human exchange student.” Solomon offered a nod.

“Likewise.” MC pretended not to notice the pause before he said human.

The first bell that meant “haul your ass to next period because if the cleaning staff finds you skipping class you will be maimed” sounded. MC slung their bag over their shoulder and brushed past their fellow students.

“Have a nice rest of your day, everyone!” MC chirped as they and Lucifer headed off to their next class.

“What do you stand to gain by pretending you aren’t my child?” Lucifer asked.

MC snickered. “It’s funny! Didn’t you see their faces?”

Lucifer half smiled and shook his head. “Perhaps.”

—————

“That kid is Lucifer’s.” Solomon said the moment Lucifer and MC were out of earshot.

“Oh thank heavens someone else saw too... I thought I was going crazy...” Simeon sighed in relief.

“Hey! We’ll be late to class if you guys don’t hurry!” Luke called from down the hall.

Solomon chuckled under his breath. “This whole year just got way more interesting...”

A lot of MC’s time got devoted to getting to know their newly found family.

Satan was proving to be very... polite? Almost weirdly so? He’d address MC like he would address a formal acquaintance, not like one would address a family member... or even a roommate.

MC tried the delicate dance of trying to respect his boundaries and trying to get him to like them...

Once the glasses incident happened everything kinda caved. MC had been quite rudely shunned by Satan and they were quite done trying to be his friend! Hmph!

...hmph :(

At least Beel was nice... despite MC being a little intimidated by his size and resting bitch face, MC soon found out that Beel was a massive cinnamon roll.

In return for all the snacks Beel shared with MC, they introduced him to at least five human world cooking shows.

“MC, why is the music so dramatic? They’re just revealing the cooking supplies.”

“It’s a reality TV thing... everything is 10 times more dramatic than it needs to be. The music’s doing its job though, I’m very impressed by that pie dish.”

Overall, MC’s first week at RAD was pretty decent! Until... well... until Friday.

MC could only hide their demonic side for so long...

“That’s them?”

MC slowed their steps and turned to look for the source of the voice.

“Yep.” A second voice confirmed. “Human kid, like I said.”

Ugh... of all the times to have needed to stay late after school... the hallway MC was in was completely empty and they had no clue where anyone they actually knew was-

“Boo.”

MC whirled around to see the two gossiping demons standing right behind them. They instinctively took a few steps back before the taller of the two demons grabbed them by the wrist and yanked them forward.

“Geez, are all humans this tiny?” The taller one asked as he slowly lifted MC off the ground. MC fixed him with the nastiest glare possible, he tried to scowl back, but ended up looking away and laughing to the shorter demon. “Look at them, barely enough for a snack, no wonder Beel hasn’t eaten them yet.”

Turning to the shorter demon, MC gave them a similar glare. “Put me down.”

“Tsk, quiet.” The taller demon snapped, he turned back to the shorter demon. “So if we just nab them now, how much do you think someone’ll take for their soul?”

“I-uh...” the shorter demon couldn’t pry their gaze away from MC’s as they tried to sputter a response. “I don’t think we should...”

“Why not? The exchange program’s still in its trial phase anyway, we kill this human and they’ll just bring in another one.”

The way he was speaking about them made MC’s skin crawl. How dare he? How dare he talk about them like they were just common trash? Who did this... person think he was?

An old familiar feeling bubbled beneath the surface. It had always been there, the intense, sometimes overwhelming desire to let the whole world know that they were better. The feeling coiled its way up MC’s spine and wormed its way into their head where it settled.

“You can’t be spoken to like that.”

Every single time this feeling had flared up, MC had done their best to suppress it. They didn’t know what would happen if they gave in, and frankly, they didn’t want to know.

“Let them know you’re not to be trifled with.”

The burning desire to crush the two demons like ants was almost impossible to ignore. MC felt their hands twitch and sparks snap between their fingertips.

“I’m not going to tell you again,” MC growled. “Put. Me. Down.”

“Human,” the taller demon turned back and cooed, his mocking tone made MC want to rip his throat out. “I said be quiet.”

His grip on MC’s wrist tightened until a sickening crack echoed through the empty hallway.

Bile immediately rose in MC’s throat as they let out an earsplitting scream. Their wrist seared in pain and their heart began to race hammer against their ribcage.

The desire to give in only grew and became harder to control, MC could feel themselves slipping. The feeling only had one simple question to ask, one that MC knew the answer to.

“Are you going to let them get away with that?”

Their face morphed into a cheek splitting grin despite the pain, their head tilted to the left as they stared down the two demons.

“No.”

Horns twisted and burst out of their skull as they dug their rapidly sharpening nails into the demon’s arm. Their teeth grew and sharpened while formerly hidden fangs burst through their upper gums. The agonizing pain of their bones growing, snapping, and shifting in and out of place as their demonic form took hold for the first time numbed as MC revelled in their new power.

Through the reflection in the taller demon’s horrified stare, MC could see their pupils stretch into almost catlike slits. He dropped them onto the floor while he and the shorter demon backed up. MC’s impossibly wide smile only grew as they watched the realization dawn upon the lesser demon as he stitched together what he had just done. The human he had decided to bother wasn’t quite so human after all.

“Oh?” MC cooed as their wings split through their back and unfurled behind them. “Where do you think you two are going? We haven’t even gotten started yet.”

—————

Lucifer was jolted from his conversation by a sharp blast of blue light and the sound of screams from a nearby hallway. He instinctively rolled his eyes.

“Lord Diavolo, pardon me but I need to go deal with a disturbance in the halls.” Lucifer said, Diavolo sighed mournfully on the other end of the call.

“Alright, if you must, but make sure to come over later! There are events that need to be scheduled.”

Lucifer knew full well that Diavolo was making half of the school events up as an excuse for basic social interaction. Oh well, it wasn’t the time to think on his prince’s social woes, he had a problem to solve.

How many times did he have to tell some of those idiotic students to take their petty squabbles outside?

Lucifer made his way over to where the fight was happening, he wasn’t walking with particular urgency, a fight on school property wasn’t too unusual, until a massive shockwave spilled through the hallways and slammed into him.

The Avatar of Pride felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up, that was his magical signature... wasn’t it? No, it was just different enough...

“Dammit.” Lucifer doubled his pace, when he reached the end of the hallway, the sight was just what he feared.

MC stood straight in the middle of the hallway with their back to him, two other demons were lying in crumpled heaps on the ground, one was next to an incredibly dented row of lockers while the other was lying next to an almost completely broken drinking fountain.

Lucifer’s own true form was out in a flash as MC turned to look at him. their eyes glowing a shining blue. Their lips curled into a snarl as they let out an otherworldly growl.

“Go away.”

“MC, calm yourself down.” Lucifer said slowly as he approached them. “Return to your normal form.”

The half demon bowed their head slightly and took a few steps back as he stepped closer. Lucifer almost patted himself on the back for such a show of authority, until MC paused and looked up defiantly. The glow in their eyes doubled as any sense of fear left them completely.

“I said, GO AWAY!”

They lunged at him, which he easily sidestepped, only for MC to quickly turn and latch their claws into his arm.

The child packed a surprising amount of force into their strikes, but he was able to block and redirect almost every single one. If this were any normal fight, Lucifer would have just swatted them away and have been done with it, but this wasn’t any ordinary opponent.

MC was his child, the exchange student, and going through their first transformation. They weren’t exactly rational or directly responsible for any of their actions at that moment.

During a first transformation the demon is almost completely relying on base instincts to function, they’ll go completely ballistic for a while, trying to tear through anything in their way until they run out of energy and pass out. Which is why during a demon’s first transformation usually happened much earlier in their lives under the watchful eyes of parents or guardians.

It was clear to anyone with even casual knowledge of demons that MC had fully given themselves over to their pride and wouldn’t stop trying to prove their superiority until they passed out.

Even though Lucifer was blocking and avoiding most of the blows, MC had managed to get in a few good scratches.

They snapped at Lucifer’s right hand, narrowly missing it and aimed their elbow at his jaw. Almost casually batting the hit away, he hissed in frustration.

“Damn it... MC, control yourself!”

MC snarled and sloppily lunged forward, only for Lucifer to use his wings to bat them to the side. They slid across the floor, their glasses falling off and skidding away from them. MC lay still for a few moments, their chest rising and falling rapidly.

Lucifer stood in place, waiting for any sudden movement. For a few moments, the hallway was quiet, save for the massive gulps of air MC was taking and the occasional groan of pain from one of the demons on the floor. MC slowly sat up and blinked a few times, then looked from side to side.

Something important dawned on Lucifer, he didn’t know just how blind MC was without their glasses.

MC’s rapid breathing began to slow as they continued to squint and search the area around them for their glasses. Lucifer almost audibly sighed in relief as the blue glow in his child’s eyes began to dull.

“MC.” Lucifer allowed his demon form to disappear as he slowly moved towards them, making sure MC could hear him approaching.

The half demon stopped scanning the area for their glasses and looked up at him, they awkwardly covered a yawn with their hand as their wings sleepily fluttered behind them. It would have been much cuter if MC wasn’t spattered with blood.

Lucifer slowly offered his hand, which MC eyed suspiciously. “Come on, let’s go.”

MC blinked a few times, then yawned again and awkwardly accepted his hand. “Mmph... m’tired...”

“That’s good,” Lucifer said quietly. “Everything’s okay.”

MC half nodded and awkwardly stumbled as they tried to find their footing. Lucifer tried to help steady them, but it proved ineffective as MC collapsed into his arms. Sighing, he picked them up and began to walk back to the House of Lamentation.

Just before leaving the school, Lucifer passed by Simeon and Solomon, who looked from MC, who had curled their wings around themselves and was sleeping soundly, to Lucifer, who had a few scratch marks on his face and whose hair was a complete mess.

“Ah, you two, one of you do me a favour.” Lucifer said as he brushed past them. “One of you go to the biology hallway and pick up MC’s glasses.”

Simeon and Solomon nodded and mumbled out an affirmation as Lucifer left the school with MC. Hmph, it seemed MC was right, their confused/shocked faces were quite funny.

MC woke up the next morning with the worst muscle pain they had ever and hopefully would ever feel. On the bright side, their wrist wasn’t broken anymore :D

They had literally built their true form. Their skeleton just stretched and rearranged itself, horns grew out from their cranium, their wings broke through their back and a new set of fangs decided to break through their gums... and then all of that new stuff was gone as MC lay in bed in their normal form like a deflated beach ball.

Not wanting to seem like a wimp, MC dragged themselves to breakfast, and everyone was all: “MC, go back to bed, you can’t do anything when you’re like this.”

“Quiet, I’m fine.”

“MC, if you’re fine, then give Beel a high five, make sure it makes the slap sound.”

“Alright then, Beel, come here.”

Beel didn’t exactly think to take MC’s shorter stature into account when holding up his hand for a high five. He’s tall, okay?

MC then proceeded to grit their teeth and try not to scream as they lifted their arm to weakly hit their hand against Beel’s.

“It made the noise..!”

“No it didn’t, I didn’t hear it.”

“Fatherrrr!”

“Couldn’t hear it, go back upstairs.”

When MC trudged upstairs, Asmo practically squealed and pointed out that MC had called Lucifer father for the first time. It’s a shame no one took a picture of happy/surprised Lucifer.

Side note: after the whole event calmed down, Lucifer was crazy proud that his kid kicked the asses of two grown demons.

Funnily enough, this incident is what kickstarted MC and Luke’s friendship! Luke heard MC got into a fight and brought over get-well cookies! Sure... Beel, Mammon and Levi stole most of the cookies but they were still good!

At school on Monday... hooooooo boy... the two demons that tried to kill MC had lived to tell the tale thanks to MC getting distracted by Lucifer, and now the entire student body knew NOT to fuck with MC.

A few weeks into the exchange year, things had settled into a somewhat normal routine... until one really shitty night in particular.

MC was curled up in bed, their new comforter and sheets were a pain to put in, but they suited MC’s taste much better than the pink that had been there previously. Sighing in contentment, MC felt themselves drifting off to sleep-

Mother fucker who was texting at the ungodly hour of 10:30 pm on a Sunday? ‘Twas the lord’s day and the lord of the house stated that everyone needed to get their asses to bed at a reasonable hour.

MC picked up their phone and put on their glasses. After being blinded by the light of the phone for a brief moment, MC read the text.

Not-Rich Uncle Pennybags 💰🕶: Oi! MC! U want a snack?

Not-Rich Uncle Pennybags💰🕶: I’m in the kitchen! Get down here!

After debating whether or not to throw Mammon to the wolves and rat him out, MC decided that they did in fact want a snack and hopped out of bed to go to the kitchen.

“Hey kiddo!” Mammon said through a mouthful of something in a container, a loose note hung limply from a piece of tape that was stuck on the Tupperware. “Next time, hurry it up, got it? Ya can’t keep me waitin’ like this!”

“Mm...” MC grumbled, rubbing their eyes and looking around the kitchen. “What are you eating?”

“Custard!” Mammon smiled brightly. “Ya gotta try this!”

Oooo, custard! MC grabbed a spoon and practically skipped over to try some. Right before they were about to try a bit of the heavenly deliciousness, MC paused and finally caught a glimpse of what the note said.

‘Property of Beelzebub, you eat it, you die.’

Uh oh-

———————

Okay, the next few bits of this WILL come out in order, I promise! Kinda... not really... eh... but it matters not! I hope you all enjoyed this! I didn’t leave you with a cliffhanger this time considering Lessons 5-6 are already out ^_^

So uh- wanna fight the demons that tried to hurt MC? I’m bringing the pitchforks, who’s driving?

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#172

“Yeah, I’m Aaron. You ready to do this faggot? Hand me the bag. Now strip. Right here. I don’t give a shit that you can be seen naked. I’m more concerned that a piece of slave meat is wearing fucking clothes in front of me. Hand me your briefs. They are going into my collection. Throw the rest of your shit in that garbage bin. Take your time and don’t fucking hide the fact that you are a naked faggot throwing out his last remaining clothes....

"Damn you are a big fucking piece of slave meat. That’s one meaty ass. Gonna look forward to destroying it tonight. Now walk back. Let that dick of yours swing. That dick is fucking huge. It’s all mine now. Kneel in front of me right there on the asphalt. Knees spread. Put these ankle and wrist restraints on. Lock them. Normally you wouldn’t have them on, but you are a big mother fucker, and I need you secured pretty much all the time. Put this dog collar on, with the electrical leads in the front. Now lock it in place. OK. So here is the remote. Take it. I have another. Notice that it only has one setting, high. Now push the button. Hold it down for three seconds. Go on now. You wanted to be the automaton slave who needs to follow all orders. This is your first one. NOW! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hurts like a mother fuck hunh? And you didn’t even make it to one second. Don’t worry, no slave ever does. You’ll get punished though.

"While you are recovering, let me see the gifts you have brought me. Look at this! Jesus! There’s thousands of dollars here. How much?… Speak up, I can’t hear you with your gasping…. Twenty-six thousand? Holy hell! I don’t get some of you fags that will give up everything to a man they met on the internet just to drop off the grid. But then bonus, I was just handed twenty-six thousand dollars. And this is all from your bank accounts?… Oh, and the money from your pick up? OK. And these are the credit cards you jointly opened in my fictitious name? These letters aren’t even opened. Let’s see. Fucking hell! Jesus! What the hell was your credit score? Eight hundred? I have never seen credit card maximums that high. You can definitely kiss that credit score good-bye.

"I should just leave you here writhing on the ground and start spending. You are truly fucked. Get up on your feet, time to be inspected. You are one massive beast. You are what? 6′4″? About 300 pounds? 320?! Wow. I can see the muscles under all that chunk. You are also hairy as fuck. Show me your cunt. Jesus fuck! That is one giant gape. Looks like you get fisted regularly. Am I right?… Double fisted! No fucking surprise there. What do they do? Clap? That cunt is useless. Fucking it would be like throwing a hot dog into a swimming pool.

"Stand up and turn around. We need to talk about the elephant trunk in the room. Your dick. How big is it?… Ten and a half? Wow. Eight inches around? My dick is fucking huge but that’s unbelievable. Get it hard. Start jerking it. I want to see it fully hard. I know what we agreed to. I know you hate having a gigantic dick. But I can see why it always becomes the center of attention. Average sized balls though. Keep jerking. You really don’t like jacking off do you? I can see it in your face. You are a slave; you have that mindset. You want to be used for everything but your dick. This explains why you wanted this agreement where you only submit if I promise that your dick gets ignored.

"So let me go through what’s going to happen to you. Oh, and if you need to cum, you have my permission. But I know that there is nothing you would want to do less. First, I am not going to drive off with all my newly found money. No. I will be transforming you into a slave, but you won’t be one of my standards. First, my slaves are usually under 30, you are late 40s. My slaves are slight in frame, and you are a behemoth. My slaves are hairless, and your hair would take a year to permanently remove. My slaves are trained to tighten their cunts, and you? that won’t ever happen. So right off the bat, you won’t fetch much on the auction block.

"This is what is going to happen. I’m going to take you over to our training center. They will start you on some serious steroid regiment and work out routine. We are going to turn you into a beast. Your hair will grow out all over. The steroids will shrink your balls. So to prevent that, you are going to be castrated, and fake testicles will go in. You will also be circumcised, and we will do it so that you get shooting pain in your dick should you get fully hard. Yes, that dick is going nowhere. In fact we are going to inject it to keep it perpetually hard. It will never fully go down. You will be used to keep our slaves in line. You will be taught to rape many a fag slave, and we need that dick ready to go at any time.

"You had ignoring your dick as the one requirement of your agreement. You should know, you are a fucking slave, you have no agreement with me. This cock is mine to do with what I want, and when. Your needs are of no matter to me. Now empty those fucking balls. Now!... Fuuuuck! Jesus now that’s a load! Good slave! Climb into the back and let’s get you locked in. Then it’s off to the compound. We need to get those balls removed. I just haven’t decided if it will be under anesthesia or not.”

[deniigi]

Please have some Skywalker Babies + Uncle Rex.

----

Title: skittles

Summary: Padme dies, but Anakin doesn't turn and as a result ends up with two little ones who are, naturally, adopted by the 501st--well, Leia is. Luke keeps getting stolen by a filthy thief.

------

Rex has the twins for now. He has never felt terror like this before. He can’t stop checking over his shoulders for threats to their teeny tiny persons.

In his humble opinion, it should be illegal for humans to be born this small. He ran it past Ahsoka recently and she agreed, but she also provided intelligence that the twins’ size was not necessarily average for their species, either.

The other brothers helped him investigate this. They all gathered round and put the holonet searches on the projector so that they didn’t have to smash buckets over a datapad screen to be educated. Their search for ‘newborn natborn human baby’ was rewarded with images upon images of reddened tubies with big, round bellies and curled up limbs.

They did a new search for ‘2 weeks, natborn human baby’ and were rewarded with even more pictures, to which they held the twins up next to and found them wanting. The twins’ proportions were all wrong, their limbs were too skinny, their faces pinched. The babies on the holonet didn’t have hair, but their baby girl did.

The conclusion was that the research was inconclusive. Further, it was interrupted by the resident thief coming in to take his chances. Cody told them later, upon returning their baby boy, that they were better than this. Kenobi wasn’t slick. They needed to stop letting their guards now.

He said all this while ignoring the way the baby boy burrowed into the side of his throat and made smacking noises.

Such a strong man, that Cody. He is, unfortunately, not available now even though Rex has both twins and a heart attack waiting to happen.

The Thief is nearby. Rex can sense him. He heads back the way he came.

 --

The baby girl, who has a name, but Anakin is too heartbroken to speak it, fists her hands at Rex and shakes them as if to threaten him into compliance. He does not know how to help her understand that he has not taken the blanket off her face out of malice, but rather to keep her from suffocating. She is angry with him regardless. She is often angry with him and endlessly crying when he does not put her exactly where she wants to be exactly when she wants it.

The thief calls her a princess, and so everyone else has started doing the same in lieu of her name. The child is bound to grow up thinking her name itself is ‘Princess’ at this rate. Ahsoka has been trying out different titles for her, but she doesn’t respond to them in the same way.

For all that the princess is royalty through and through, the baby boy is thoroughly a commoner. Catching him awake is a miracle. Part of that is because his waking hours are spent with the Thief, since Kenobi has decided, for some mysterious reason, that this child is his favorite of all in existence. He will not be separated from this child and when he is, he gets crafty in his attempts to get him back.

The princess does not like Kenobi. At all, period. He touches her and she screams and reaches her stubby hands for Rex. If Rex is not available to be screamed for, she will wail until her father comes to stuff her in his tunic.

Anakin is fine to hold the princess, but he cannot look upon the baby boy, even to feed him. He looks so much like his mother. It is a struggle for everyone—except Kenobi. Rex wonders aloud to Ahsoka if Kenobi will raise the boy on his own and a moment of silence fills the canteen.

Ahsoka throws herself from the room and goes sprinting for the masters’ quarters.

 --

 The twins are tested for Force Sensitivity and it becomes abundantly clear why Kenobi continues hoard the baby boy against all sense and wisdom. He is described by the jedi as a ‘sun’ in the Force. The princess too, but her presence in the Force blends in with her father’s until she is gazed upon in Rex’s Force-empty grip.

Only then is she, too, declared a star.

Twin stars, they are called.

‘Kenobi, put that down,’ the boy is named. ‘Kenobi, give that back,’ is his middle one.

The first time Rex sees the baby boy awake, he is startled by how blue his eyes are. His sister’s are dark, but his are light like water at the base of a waterfall. He makes a little sound and turns his heavy head to the side to blink at Rex’s forearm.

He is the older of the two, but the Princess is already overtaking him in weight. Kenobi has been scolded for this. In return, he locks everyone out of his quarters.

 --

 The twins are two months old when they stop being blinky-maggots and turn into smiley ones. Anakin cannot put the princess down or she will scream until she is blue in the face. As such their dedicated General can be found with his arms full, slowly banging his head against the nearest hard object.

He calls her ‘Leia.’ Princess Leia.

The baby boy is ‘Luke.’ Just Luke.

Anakin spends his time these days bouncing Leia and on the hunt for his son. He walks like a zombie towards Kenobi’s door and plasters his back against it. He slides down and tries desperately not to fall asleep at the bottom.

He will not let Rex take the princess when he’s in this state. He wants only for Kenobi to open the door so that he can fall back onto his floor and demand his son. Kenobi never gives him his son back. There is no longer any question that baby Luke is Kenobi’s child. The fact that he’s been produced by Anakin and Padme is a footnote in the broader history being made here.

Kenobi will, however, take Princess Leia, too, if left unsupervised. She still hates him—more than ever, really, but he doesn’t mind. He likes to lay the twins out together so that Leia’s jerky fussing will ruin Luke’s sleep cycles.

Kenobi is a man with no respect for the law in these parts. More jedi masters have to step in to get him under control. Master Koon takes the most pity on Anakin and gives him both of his children. The masters and the clones watch him stagger up with both babies and drunkenly return to their quarters.

A note is made to check on all three of them in fifteen minutes.

 --

 The twins, at 6 months old, have developed even more distinct personalities and hair. So much hair. Ahsoka puts Leia’s hair in pigtails and Leia will scream if anyone tries to adjust them or if she feels that they are falling out of shape.

Rex’s hands were once clumsy around ring-sized rubber bands. He is now an expert. He is such an expert that he can even make the occasional one stay in Luke’s slippery hair, which, of course, invokes an expression of betrayal in Luke that is so comical, Rex can’t see it without being brought to tears.

Luke hates him for this. He whimpers for his father—no, not that one. The good one.

These days, Kenobi is a cat who has gotten the cream.

The boy called him ‘dada’ before he gave the name to Anakin, and Kenobi nearly lost his life for it. He regrets nothing. He is technically barred from being around Luke, both by the other jedi and by Anakin specifically, but rules are things for other people in Kenobi’s world.

Anakin threatens him with bodily harm at every opportunity that he is not holding his daughter upside down.

She enjoys this. This is not just a daddy-thing to her either; she expects everyone to carry her like this. If not feet-to-the-sky, then at least draped over an arm, face-down like a sack of flour. She hums the way a cat would purr.

 --

 At nine months the babes are mobile and it is the worst thing that has happened to Anakin besides Padme’s death. They are not effectively mobile, but they are professionals at grabbing things and hauling themselves up to their chubby feet. Leia holds onto the fingers of anyone she can get and makes every brother who passes her walk her on their feet to her chosen destination.

Luke is a little slower.

He can get to his feet, but what he wants is to bounce there. If anyone tries to hold his hands, he clams up and falls down and doesn’t get up.

Anakin has begun negotiating with Leia to be more like her brother. She laughs at his face in great peels when he does this. She finds his serious expressions hilarious and wants to cuddle him anytime they appear which is great for domestic time and not so great for council or state meetings. Anakin has taken to appearing before these people with Leia latched around his ankle. Only her, though. Luke can’t bear being in the presence of so many bodies at once. He becomes overwhelmed and handles the pressure by going to sleep. Or crying.

For Kenobi, of course.

And when Kenobi is not around, they all may as well go start digging their own graves before the guilt propels them to do it anyways.

Luke is not a big crier. Anakin can’t understand him. They’ve had many conversations about telling adults when he needs things, all of which Luke elects to ignore in favor of trying to eat bugs and dig in sand.

The latter is the greatest sin that Anakin can dream of.

--

I just think that, given the opportunity, Obi-Wan would be the best grandpa ever and by best, I mean he would see his chance to have a baby and Anakin would end up chasing him around going ‘he’s MY mistake and MY responsibility, you crusty old fucker, give him back’ while Obi-Wan talks to Ahsoka about how nice the weather is.

[in-tua-deep]

idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

[lumosinlove]

Between Fifth And You

AO3

chapter two

~

It’s Saturday night for Manhattan’s elite, and we know what that means. The Noble House of Black beckons, and one particularly family seems to be a little behind on preparations—at least, their youngest son is.

Spotted—Logan Tremblay, looking hot in nothing but basketball shorts. Better soak up that fading blue August heat while you can, Lo. Or are you more interested in something a little more…fiery? But in the LES? Why so far from home, Dorothy? Eye color isn’t the only thing green about the Tremblay family. And they have a bad habit of sorting everything out with a little help from Ben Franklin.

“Shoot, shoot!”

Logan pivoted on his heel and was able to toss the ball around his opponent’s shoulder. He only caught a glimpse of red hair as Finn caught it with ease and jumped it up to the rim.

Finn O’Hara. One of these days Logan was going to step on his own shoes watching Finn O’Hara. His pale chest looked like sugar dusting, his exertion-red cheeks the goddamn cherry.

“Point moo-oi!” Finn shouted, slapping Will Morgan and Percy Marshall on their bare backs. “That’s how you say it, right, Tremblay?”

Logan feigned a shudder. “Non.”

“Shorty’s got game,” Will laughed, sweat dripping down his dark brown skin, darkening the leather bracelets he wore.

Percy shook his head, swallowing over a caught-breath, his silver Star of David swinging at his throat. “Shorty must be cheating with his Upper Side shoes.”

Logan just narrowed his eyes and laughed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “You’re just tall. Doesn’t mean you’re good.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mazel tov, you fucker.”

“I’m finally winning,” Finn grinned. “And now I gotta get back to the shop. I said be back in five…pretty sure it’s been fifty-five.”

Logan swallowed. “I’ll—I’ll walk you.”

Percy slapped him on the back as they left, and Finn held the cage door of the basketball court open for him.

“So, you’re back at school?” Finn asked as he pulled his shirt on. Logan nodded, following suit, picking at the neck where it stuck to his sweaty skin.

“Yeah,” Logan nodded. “I’m supposed to be getting fitted for a suit right now.”

Finn snorted. “What does that have to do with school?”

“Oh,” the corner of Logan’s mouth raised as he realized. “Nothing, I…well, you know. The social scene. It sort of all feels like one thing, up there.”

Finn pouted at him. “Poor baby. Too many parties.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Logan laughed.

“Hey, feel like lunch?”

“I thought you had to be back.”

Finn shrugged. “I’m hungry.”

Logan bit his lip, wondering how many different ways his older sisters could actually kill him. Honestly, he thought he’d just die on the spot of he passed up the change to be squeezed into one of the small restaurants that Finn frequented. Screw the grand tables of his life. Logan wanted cracked leather booths small enough to let their ankles brush. Not that he’d ever say that out loud.

Finn didn’t disappoint. They walked down the shade of Mott street, then turned at a bakeshop on the corner. Finn pointed at it.

“You’ve been here, haven’t you?”

Logan raised a shoulder. “I don’t get down here much.”

Finn snorted. “Listen to you. Down here. You’re down here enough to pop into my bookstore all the time.”

Logan studied the cakes in the windows, biting his lip when he realized Finn’s eyes were still on him in the reflection. “I…yeah.”

Finn flicked the bill of Logan’s hat which shaded the back of his neck. “How’s that latest book you bought?”

Logan turned away from the window to get them walking again, not sure where they were going but trusting Finn to lead. “I’m starting school, man, I don’t have all the time in the world.”

Finn just laughed. “Come on, let’s catch the 6.”

Logan found himself squeezed into a tiny French restaurant in the West Village that served them even tinier croissants.

“I know the chef,” Finn said popping one he had spread jam and butter on into his mouth. “Dumo. Don’t pay a cent. I fucking love these things.”

Logan would have bought Finn a thousand of the tiny pastries without a blink just to see him lick a bit of jam from his thumb again.

“Dumo doesn’t sound very French…” Logan began cutting up his waffle.

Finn laughed. “Pascal Dumais does.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s more like it.”

Logan glanced at a woman and her baby, who had started crying. He tried to think of something to say. For someone who’s job seemed to be making small talk at various parties and charming people with his accent—or so his mother sometimes said—he sure was horrible at it.

“So, what’s the suit for?” Finn asked, taking a sip of his black coffee.

“A fashion show,” Logan sighed, hiding his surprise—and maybe delight—at Finn’s unknowing shrug. “It’s…sort of a lot. Lots of people and cameras. And I always have to wear something green.”

Finn hummed in understanding. “It’s the eyes, yeah?”

Logan nodded. “A lot of fast English, too.”

Finn tilted his head. “I didn’t know that was hard for you. You’re perfect.”

Logan tried not to flush and covered it with a shrug. “I lived in France until I was fifteen before we finally moved to my dad. It’s still nice to be able to read lips sometimes. With the flashes and they make it super dark…I don’t know.”

“No, that makes sense,” Finn said, brown eyes soft. He smiled. “Hey, well, if you don’t want to go to the fitting, come man the shop with me. I’d love the company.”

Logan looked at him and ached, but saw his older sister Noelle’s pleading, excited expression in his mind. He might not love the scene, but he loved his sisters. “I wish I could. Really.”

They finished up their food and Logan had to admit that he lingered over his coffee until Finn said he absolutely had to leave.

“Hey, Tremblay,” Finn called from down the sidewalk, and Logan turned in the full knowledge that seeing the smile Finn sent him would only make him want to stay more.

The dutiful son wants the bookshop boy…I don’t know, Lo. How will their royal highnesses feel about that?

“Come buy more books you don’t read soon, okay?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile back. “D’accord.”

Finn walked backwards a few steps, yelling, “And bring me something green!” before turning and jogging down the subway stairs.

Logan laughed as he called his driver to him, escaping the heat for air conditioned leather.

XOXO

Pearls or diamonds, Upper Siders? Armani or Ralph? What, like you have other questions tonight?

Well, I have one for you. A tip from a friendly scroller gave me a peak at tonight’s guest list. Do you think we’re in for more than just a showdown on the runway? Cat fights over cat walks is what I always say.

XOXO.

[Image description: Two name cards reading, from left to right, Leo Knut and Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Sebastian Montague]

Remus found Julian already dressed and tapping at a game on his phone when he descended the winding staircase of their penthouse.

“You waiting for mom and dad?” Remus said, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

“And you,” Julian said.

“Right, right,” Remus smoothed his black tuxedo, trying to ignore the subtle glint of blue-silver embroidered into the black velvet. His mother was a planner—which Remus liked usually—but this design had not aged well. This suit had a twin that it no longer belonged with. Remus clenched his jaw as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He’d hoped wearing it would feel like defiance.

But it only felt like he was lonely. He gave his head a hard shake. He had Leo. He couldn’t let New York throw him.

“Gossip Girl’s going crazy. Of course,” Julian said.

“Jules, you shouldn’t read that stuff,” Remus sighed. “It’s just gossip—”

“Just posted about Sirius,” Julian murmured.

Remus huffed, pushing his hair out of its too neat style in the mirror. “So?”

Julian shrugged, but pointedly looked away when Remus took out his own phone.

The photo looked like one from the paparazzi, but the sight of Sirius on the red carpet made Remus’ throat close up.

I spy a statement piece. Or maybe it’s just a statement. Sirius Black arrives on the red carpet—or should I say black carpet—with none other than New York’s favorite icon, in worship and fashion alike. The Saint of these streets is looking particularly dashing tonight, hand in hand with the heir of this city. Ouch, Re. Looks like you’ve been dethroned.

Remus stared down at the screen, neck hot. Sirius’ suit sleeves had the barely there leather half moon cut-outs that Remus remembered tracing onto his skin.

Sirius had smiled into their kiss. Think anyone will notice?

Remus had just laughed. Everyone will notice.

But there was Saint, a crown of moonstones in his golden hair.

Remus looked down at his own suit. Of course Saint had thought of a way they’d match, that was all it was, but it still felt like a snub.

“I sort of miss him,” Julian said quietly.

Remus’ heart pulled. He swallowed and clicked his phone off. He looked at Julian, who looked almost sheepish.

“Do you?” Julian asked even more quietly.

“Don’t you like Leo?” Remus asked.

“Of course,” Julian nodded quickly. “But…”

“Remus,” Hope smiled, coming down the stairs arm-in-arm with their father. “Jules. Ready, boys?”

Remus didn’t think saying no was an option. He cleared his throat, pushed his hair back.

“Almost,” he said, backtracking towards the stairs. “Just a second. Gotta call Leo, make sure he hasn’t left yet.”

XOXO

“We can watch a livestream of the red carpet and the show,” Natalie said. “Sit.”

Finn groaned, squished beside Natalie on her tiny sofa. “That feels like I’m stalking him.”

“We’re allowed to stalk the boys we like.”

“You’re dating my brother, Nat. Does this mean you stalked him?”

“It really does,” Alex said, coming in from the kitchen with their margaritas and dropping a kiss to Natalie’s temple.

“Hm,” Natalie smiled up at him, accepting a kiss to her lips. “Scruffy.”

Finn sighed and pulled a knee up to his chest, watching the loading video Natalie had pulled up.

“Your wifi sucks,” he mumbled.

“It’ll load,” Natalie scooted over for Alex and passed Finn his drink.

“Salsa, too,” Finn said, waving it over.

Finally, the video popped up to a view of the red carpet.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Alex said.

“Be nice,” Natalie laughed. “It’s fashion!”

“Look,” Alex sighed. “I know they’re wealthy and it’s suppose to be all, I don’t know sandy beaches and wristwatches, but not a single one of these people look remotely happy. Like take a look at this guy—“

Finn looked over the sandy-haired man posing in front of the cameras—well, not posing, really. Kasey Winter, the commentators were saying.

“Nice hair,” Natalie crunched on a chip. “And listen to that, his mother’s one of the biggest producers at Weird Sisters Records.”

“Fine, but he looks like he’s ready to kill someone. I mean, anyone else think its kind of fucked up that the New York families go to a New York university where New York businesses draw from New York’s elite?”

“Yes,” Finn and Natalie said in unison.

And then there was Logan.

Finn let out an embarrassing sound and set his drink down, leaning forward.

Logan walked out in front of the cameras with three girls—his sisters, Finn remembered. Not to mention he followed all of them on Instagram. They had a lot of shoes, sure, but they seemed all right.

“I saw this thing on Gossip Girl about one of the sisters,” Natalie said. “She—”

“Nat, why the hell do you read that?”

Natalie shot him a look. “Like you don’t.”

Finn ignored them, too focused on the dark, nearly black, velvety green cape—or was it cloak?—that covered Logan’s shoulders down to above his elbows, falling to an elegant point at the small of his back over his black suit. The sisters had a similar get-up in one way or another—a green train, a shawl, a corset. Logan’s clasp was a silver fleur-de-lis.

“Green,” Finn breathed.

“What?” Alex asked.

Finn bit the inside of his cheek at Logan’s expression. It was meant to be blank, Finn thought, at-ease and untouchable, but it came off almost enticing. His dark eyelashes swept against his cheeks. Finn watched his throat bob around a swallow, his adored eyes shifting from flash to flash.

“Nothing,” Finn answered his brother.

“How’d you meet this kid anyway, Fish?” his brother asked.

“I was closing up shop about a month ago,” Finn said. “And he stopped at one of our windows. Looked like he’d run the entire island, he was breathing so hard. Not to mention it was pouring like nothing else. Thought he was gonna pass out, so I unlocked the door and let him in to get dry. I don’t know, he was kind of shy at first. Listened to me talk for about an hour before he started giving anything back.” Finn shrugged, watching Logan walk off screen. “I invite him to play basketball with me, Morg, and Percy now. We get lunch after sometimes.”

Natalie sighed. “He looked like one unhappy camper.”

“I think his family puts a lot of pressure on him. He’s the baby. Only son. All that bullshit.”

“I kind of want that cape,” Natalie said.

Alex sighed. “That’s the idea.”

Natalie slapped his chest, then kissed his cheek, and Finn watched Logan walk off-screen.

XOXO

“What say you, Capulet?”

Sirius looked down at Saint at his shoulder. “They’re out of crab puffs.”

“Boo,” Saint said. “You still closing the show?”

“Yep.”

“Shouldn’t you be in hair and makeup?”

“Yep.”

Saint stepped in front of him, the gold band of moonstones nestled in his curls glinting in the dark stage lights. “Looking for someone?”

Sirius just reached out and ran a gentle thumbnail beneath where Saint’s golden eyeliner had smudged against his brown skin, striking it back to a point. “Nope. See you after the show.”

Saint clucked his tongue. “I’m unimpressed.”

“What else is new?” Sirius said.

Saint went to smile, when his eyes flickered behind Sirius and he raised his eyebrows. “That.”

Sirius turned around, and quickly schooled his expression. The cameras were going wild, and in front of all the flashing lights was Remus, hand-in-hand with Leo Knut.

“They make a sunshine pair,” Saint said from beside him. “How’re you feeling?”

Sirius touched two fingers to one of the black-leather moons on his jacket sleeve. They were meant to go with Remus’ stars. He remembered planning for them. He’d thought…part of him had thought if he’d worn them tonight—

“Cloudy sky,” he replied to Saint.

“I was gonna say dappled sunlight in…” Saint glanced around. “A dark forest.”

Remus and Leo were wearing dress shirts, collars rumpled and unbuttoned at their throats, each in a smooth shade of cream. Their hands, decked out in golden rings, were laced together, and they both wore pale gray slacks, slim cut, and laceless nikes.

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun…hmm, but don’t I spy some burning jealous?

“What are we going for here,” Saint raised an eyebrow. “Left in a hurry and didn’t get the dress code?”

“We’re going against me,” Sirius replied, slipping his hands into his pockets and trying to stand straight. “That’s all.”

“Sunlight in a dark forest, indeed.”

Sirius watched them looking out over the flashes, and tried not to look surprised when golden eyes met his own. Remus’ expression didn’t change either. Instead, he simply blinked, then looked away. Leo, tall and lean, leaned into his ear, and Remus smiled. The cameras popped like champagne.

I love right here, Sirius remembered his own voice, the feeling of the soft skin by Remus’ eye beneath his thumb. I love right here when you smile.

“I need to get backstage,” Sirius said shortly, and turned on his heel.

“I’ll be watching.”

“Don’t I know,” Sirius called as he weaved his way through the crowd, heading backstage. The woman with a radio in her ear looked annoyed and nervous when he slipped past her, and radioed that he had arrived to whoever it was that needed to know.

“Sirius!” Alice called, hands full of makeup brushes and up in the air. “Jesus Christ, do you think I have all fucking night?”

Sirius shrugged out of his red carpet jacket—which someone took—and slid into her chair. “Sorry, Al.”

She twirled a protective cape around his shoulders, snapping it at the base of his neck. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty. But then again, I think everyone’s pretty.”

Sirius closed his eyes, letting her begin. “People are.”

Alice had just finished contour when Sirius all but felt his mother’s presence. A shift in the air. A cooler wind. People standing up straighter and shivering.  

“Sirius,” his mother’s face appeared in the mirror. Her red lipstick was the brightest thing about her, and even that was almost mauve. Her dress was tight around her breasts, but cascaded in thick waves of velvet behind her, and she wore tall leather boots. It almost looked like armor. “You’re very late, darling.”

“Sorry,” Sirius said. “Saint and I got caught up in the crowd, I guess.”

She hummed. “You two looked fetching out there. He’s much more pleasing than that other boy ever was. His family is important, too.”

It was true, that his mother had never liked Remus much. Though, Sirius couldn’t compare him and Saint. They were two different oceans.

“Get dressed,” his mother breathed, and was already snapping her fingers at one of the other models before Sirius could say another word.

“All right?” Alice asked him quietly.

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror. Her contour made his face look almost gaunt, as was the general makeup for all of the models, and he knew he’d be given dark eye makeup next, his hair fluffed into perfect curls.

“Fine,” Sirius said, and closed his eyes to let her work.

Sirius was shrugging into his given outfit—a billowing longcoat, 20th century in fashion, and a longer tunic made almost entirely of the thinnest black silk. It would shimmer when he walked, he knew, and his tall, lace-up boots, the flat sole so thin and delicate that he almost felt barefoot, would disappear beneath the shimmer. His mother was cold, stubborn, and cruel sometimes, an unfeeling, yawning sort of dark, but she was talented.

“Lord Vader,” came a voice from behind him, and Sirius laughed even before he turned to face Thomas Walker.

“Sounds about right,” Sirius said, and they clasped hands, pulling them into a one-armed hug. “You look fantastic, though.”

Thomas spun slowly on his heel, letting the long, loose fitting white linen of his button-down—which went out in two, tuxedo-like tails at his back—flare out above his slim, black trousers. He wore a thin scarf of distressed wool.

“Like a fallen gentleman, no?” Thomas grinned. “I might try and steal these pants. And maybe the shirt for Noelle.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sirius smiled, spying Noelle’s green eyes behind his shoulder. “She’ll love that.”

Noelle wrapped her arms, which were draped in a transparent green cloth, around Thomas’ waist. “Thanks for thinking of me, T baby.”

Thomas laughed in surprise. “Who let you back stage?”

“I’m a Tremblay, they’ll let us in anywhere.”

Thomas turned his head to capture Noelle in a soft kiss.

“See you after, hm?” Noelle said. “I’m gonna go say hi to my friend, she’s walking tonight, too.”

“Yeah, we’ll ride to Honeyduke’s together.”

Noelle raised an eyebrow at him. “You coming, Black?”

“Saint all but owns the place,” Sirius said. “Of course I am.”

Sirius walked. He didn’t look down, or hear the cameras. It wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, to be up here, not able to see past the lights—but something tonight was different. It felt as it had the night of his and Remus’ first kiss.

In that show, he had had one, thin line of black lipstick traced over the center of his bottom lip. It had marked Remus’ throat and cheeks like soot by the end of it all.

Remus had been waiting for him back stage.

“Come here,” Remus had whispered, and laced their fingers together.

“Where?” Sirius had answered, surprised by their palms pressing together.

But it hadn’t been a place. Remus had pressed them back in between clothing racks, and crashed their mouths together.

Here, Remus had whispered, and kissed him again.

Sirius felt the absence of the stage lights like a wash of cold air, and he stretched out his back, letting his stony face drop a little. He glanced around, but there was no one to be found. His cheeks were warm just thinking about it.

“Good,” his mother said as he passed her by to take off the makeup, and that was all.

XOXO

Saint looked across Honeyduke’s and felt like it was his. Logan was laughing with Thomas and Noelle, and he had Kasey Winter beside him, securing tickets to one of their favorite bands to see together.

“Done,” Kasey said, and flashed one of his rare smiles.

“I knew you were my favorite,” Saint took a sip of his drink, and Kasey scoffed.

“Me or my mom?”

“Maybe a little of both. Oh, and we’re going to sushi beforehand.”

Kasey’s smile was larger now. “Wouldn’t have it any other way. You gonna leave with that drummer again? What’s her name?”

Saint smiled. “Oh, Sally. And I make it a habit to always leave with the drummer.”

Kasey just shook his head. “Yeah, yeah. I’m getting a drink and leaving you to your one-liners.”

Saint watched him go, feeling settled, and set about scanning the room for Sirius. He was sure he’d know if he was there—people tended to swarm to Sirius, even if he didn’t ask for it. It was part of the reason they were so close. People flocked to Saint, too. So, they asked for each other’s company. A more intimate, calm part of life. Sirius was quiet. Saint wasn’t, but he let Saint , for a moment, be that way, too. Saint was loud. Sirius wasn’t, but Saint had his ways to fire him up.

“Another drink, sir?”

Saint looked over his shoulder, only to turn all the way around, interest peaked. The bartender had sandy hair, and a strong jaw, his cheeks textured by acne scars in some places. He had brown eyes—save for a sliver of green in one.

“Only if you have one with me,” Saint said, and glanced down at his name-tag. “Luke.”

Luke arched an eyebrow, pressing the heels of his palms onto the bar between them, revealing rolled up sleeves and some type of vine tattoo, wrapping all around both of his forearms.

“I’m working, sir.”

“Is that a later?” he nodded at the tattoo. “Nice.”

“I don’t think so,” Luke said.

“Oh, no?”

Luke scowled—how did he look so handsome doing that?

“Do you make it a habit to go home with all the waiters, too?”

Saint didn’t let his expression flicker, just smiled nice and slow.

“Hillrock,” Saint said. “Neat.”

The barkeep turned away.

Ouch. Looks like not everyone worships at your alter, Saint.

XOXO

The elevator doors opened, revealing the party to Sirius one outfit after the next. He had changed for the afterparty—the first of three. He wore a tight, thin black t-shirt and dark jeans. He hadn’t bothered to wash off the dark, smudged eyeliner from the show. His combat boots went up to just below his knee, and had the same nearly naked feeling sole. It made him feel soundless, like a shadow.

Maybe that’s why it was easy to find Remus and stand beside him without him stirring.

“You’re a little underdressed,” Sirius said without looking at him.

“Says the boy wearing a t-shirt,” Remus replied evenly.

Sirius scowled. “I meant at the show.”

“People like to be surprised,” Remus replied evenly.

“Who’s Leo?”

“My boyfriend.”

Sirius turned towards him. “You didn’t tell me you were coming home.”

Remus matched him. They were nearly chest to chest. “You didn’t say a word to me in class.”

“You didn’t—“

“I had the last word,” Remus snapped. “I figured maybe you’d finally have something to say back.”

Sirius stared at him, heart pounding in his ears. For a moment, he let himself look. At the golden eyes, hair more blond than ever from the summer’s sun. Sirius couldn’t stand that mouth set in a frown.

“Guess not,” Remus said softly, lips dropping open in the way they used to before they kissed.

Sirius all but felt him vanish into the writhing crowd.

XOXO

Finn looked up when a flash of color on the morning-silent street outside caught his eye. He set the books he was holding down, took the pen out from between his teeth.

Green.

“What the hell?” Finn laughed as he pulled open the door to his bookshop to find Logan standing there. “It’s five in the fucking morning, what are you doing here? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Never did,” Logan said, and that’s when Finn saw that Logan was still in his suit from the livestream.

“Ah, I see,” Finn said, eyes flicking up and down his broad form. He swallowed dryly. “The nature of afterparties, I suppose. Well, you—you look good. For someone who’s been up all night, I mean.”

Logan just smiled, one of his small, secretive ones. Finn watched as he stepped forward so they were almost toe to toe in the doorway.

“Wh…” Finn’s voice dropped off with a breathless laugh. He couldn’t help but look at Logan’s mouth. His full lips that could speak a language Finn couldn’t even begin to describe.

Logan just reached up to the base of his own throat and unclipped the fleur-de-lis clasp there. In one smooth swoop, he drew his short cloak from his shoulders and around Finn’s, right over his worn gray t-shirt, clicking it in place. The fabric brought a gentle scent, and he figured it must be Logan’s cologne.

“Something green,” Logan said softly. A warm, early morning breeze ruffled his hair, pushing the curls forward. Finn couldn’t move. “What are you doing here?”

“Inventory,” Finn whispered, then cleared his throat. “Inventory.”

“Okay,” Logan said. “I’ll help.”

[iffylogic]

I’ve tried everything I can think of to stay positive, but I can’t keep up. I just can’t.

I’m so miserable. My life is just work, cry, sleep, repeat.

The place I work at is understaffed. The software is a nightmare.

And the clientele. Are. Horrible.

I basically spend half my waking hours getting yelled at, insulted, cussed out, glared at. Today was the new winner because this time I was cursed by proxy, hearing someone screaming at someone else at the top of their lungs, “Tell that stupid fucker [Iffy-deadname] to pay the fuck attention and” etc. Language is usually lighter, but ultimately I’m most accustomed to hearing that said to me directly.

I’m trying as hard as I can, and that’s the worst thing. I’m bad at this job. Really, really bad. And the more stressed I get, the worse at the job I get. The software and communication system we use is a backwards, impenetrable disaster.

But the worst thing is? I frequently make really stupid mistakes. I’ll completely forget a name I was given one sentence ago. I mix up numbers. I mix up faces. I mix up stories. I’ve tried to slow down, make an effort to pay attention and carefully absorb the information around me, burn it in.

Maybe it’s because I’m stressed, maybe it’s because of the rush, but I just can’t do it. I can’t get things straight. My auditory processing disorder makes it hard to process names/words I hear until the client is angrily spelling it out in a tone that oozes “you are an absolute moron Iffy.” And it’s happened so much that I can’t even disagree anymore.

It’s almost as bad when it isn’t my fault. Because frequently the client doesn’t care. The very first call of the very first day of this workweek was me being talked down to and mocked by someone whom I have never interacted with in any way. We were complete strangers. But I work for the place that’s too overworked/understaffed to cater to their every whim; I’m the one they found on the phone; I’m the one they’ll direct their rage at. Fully-grown adults—mothers, fathers, grandparents, left and right—not caring who they talk to as long as they get to hurt someone. My faith in humanity is practically in freefall.

I need to say this, it’s so important that I point this out: Many of the clients are wonderful people. And the staff are some of the kindest, most fun people you’ll meet. Hell, they’re why I leaped at the job.

But with us constantly lacking the staff to keep up with demand, people get mad. A lot of people.

I get up at 7 and come home at 7. I have two individual days off a week, and I spend most of that time in my bed. The several hours I have before bedtime for work the next day are spent either in a stupor or weeping, lately just the latter. There’s no time for the things that make me happy, the things I wanted to turn into a bigger part of my life one day. The job is cutting off the things it was supposed to give me a chance to return to.

I’ve tried so hard to stay motivated and positive. I really, really have. I’ve been focusing on the things I can finally save up for, and studying/practicing mindfulness and stress-management techniques. Going somewhere nice like the bookstore or the park for an afternoon.

I’m relieved to say that taking those days does bring me back for a bit.

But it doesn’t last. The stress-management stuff doesn’t last, not when the stress is so constant.

And it turns out the job pays a lot less than I expected.

It barely makes living expenses, if that. I can’t save up for the things I need or was looking forward to (including things important to someone in such a transitional phase of their life). And if an emergency arises, I won’t have the money to deal with it.

It took me half a year to even find this job. I don’t even... I don’t even know what to do. Am I trapped!? I’m crying for hours a day now. I spend most of my free time stressed from dreading the next shift, which is never far away. I’m so, so unhappy.

[sallyf4ce]

wolves

chapter III

-> sallyfacexf!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, abuse, violence

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: (y/n) wakes up early to avoid sally. sally’s upset that he did something wrong yesterday. (y/n)’s first meeting with travis isn’t the nicest.

The incessant beeping of your alarm tugs you out of your dreamless sleep.

The sticky tears on the ground remind you of yesterday’s events, but you disregard them. All you want to do is take a shower, throw on your jacket and get out the door. You slowly clamber up off the ground and across the living room to turn off the alarm. After making sure it’s not on snooze, you drag your sore body to the shower. It smells like smoke and lots of cleaning supplies. This place is fucking gross. Is it even monday?’ you check the calendar. It is, in fact, monday. You strip and turn the shower handle.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

You're so glad that you chose to wake up early. Usually kids this far from school drive or get picked up by the bus, but you prefer to use your skateboard. That’s why you get up at 6:30, so you have enough time to get ready and get to school on time. Sanity’s fall quietly played as you washed your breakfast plate and cup, brushing grease residue off the greyish porcelain. You wonder if Sal is awake yet. Probably not. You know, waking up early ensures that you won't see him in the morning. The guy’s not that bad, his eyes just freak you out a little.

Pulling the pink glove off your prosthetic, you wipe your hands with a towel and move to the closet to put your shoes on.

“Jacket, jacket, jacket, jacket.” you mumble, eyebrows knitted. “Where are you?” oh, right, you left it in your room.. With poppy. Was that even her name? You kind of just decided it for her.

Alright, don't be a pussy. Just go in and grab the jacket. You sucked in a breath and opened the door to your room.

“Eeh! A teenager! What’s your name, little lady?” her blond ponytail bounced with every sentence. This was the first time you could get a good look at her. She didn't really have feet, just bloody stumps where they used to be.

“Holy fuck, you’re so loud!” your hands covered your ears.

“Ahh, so sorry! I haven't used my voice in years.” she coughs.

“S’ fine... Can I just- just grab my jacket?” you point at the green pile amidst the boxes all around the room. You didn't get a chance to set up.

“Go ahead!” she nods and smiles.

“Alright. uh, listen, lady. This-” you motion towards the whole room. “Is my room. I live here now. I get that you, like, can't leave this place and shit, but could you maybe sit quietly while i set up later? I really need to clean my room up. I’ll set up a little chair place for you or whatever, so you could sleep at night.” you mumble the last part, embarrassed about your hospitality.

“I can’t sleep.” she smiles, her teeth surprisingly shiny for a ghost’s. God, she’s so preppy that you forgot she’s dead.

“Pretend to then, i dont fucking know. Alright, i have to go. Just… don't cause trouble.” grabbing the jacket, you begin shutting the door. “My name’s (y/n), by the way.”

You can hear her squeals as you leave the apartment. You decide to take the elevator because you don't feel like running down the stairs with a heavy ass bag on your back.. Stepping in, you press the main floor button. It looks like there’s a bit of sticky stuff around it. gross. Syrup? You hoped so.

The elevator dings and you step out, heading out the front doors. It’s cloudy. Again. Not a surprise, really. Keeping your eyes on the gravel, you set down your skateboard and begin your journey to school.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sal’s point of view:

“She probably went on without us, man. Don’t know why you're worrying so much.'' Larry leaned back into the bus seat.

“It’s not that, Larry face. Yesterday, when we left…” was it my fault? Did i scare her? Did she see my face through the mask? Fuck.

“What is it? Spit it out, sally dude.” he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and puffed the smoke out the window.

“I think i scared her, larry. I think she saw my face.” i let out a shaky breath. God, everything was going good. Why the fuck does this stupid face ruin everything?

“Did you- did you take your mask off?” he sat up in the seat, eyes wide.

“No. She probably saw it through my mask.”

“I still dont get it. Explain more, dude.”

“She looked so scared. We made eye contact, and she, like, panicked. Her eyes widened and then she threw me out. It was definitely my eyes. We were fine the whole night, i dont know why she freaked out.”

Larry let out a long hum. He was probably trying to piece things together. Anyway, she definitely went to school earlier than us. I can ask her about it there.

“Woah, sally face. Calm down or you’ll go bald.” larry’s hands pulled mine off my pigtails. Huh, i didnt even notice.

“Thanks, dude. I think we’re here.”

Your point of view:

It was around eight o’clock by the time you arrived. Kids were already piling out of buses and cars, standing by the school’s entrance and conversing with their friends. You definitely felt some eyes on you. That was expected, though. They didnt recognize you, and nockfell didnt seem like a town with many new people. Thinking back to yesterday, sal and larry mentioned some bully kid. Probably wouldnt be hard to spot him.

“Watch it, goth freak!” a pair of hands gripped onto your shoulders.

Ah, what a coincidence.

“Get the fuck off me, fucking prick.” he twitched as you gripped onto his hands and pushed him away.

“Is that a metal hand? Ha, you’re a fucking cripple! How pathetic.” he chuckled. Blond hair draped itself across his forehead, definitely not complimenting the purple shade of his shirt and eye. School fight? or daddy issues? Who knows. I mean, you’re not one to speak, your dad’s literally dead.

“Let me guess, you’re that bully fucker they talked about. God, isnt there enough troubled kids in Nockfell?” you rolled your eyes, just wanting to get to school.

When you said you had bad luck, you really meant it, because all of a sudden, his fist landed on your face.

Are you fucking serious?

You just moved here yesterday and you’ve already been fucked up twice. You can’t keep taking hits, (y/n)! You gotta dish some out!

Sighing in disbelief, you reached out to your gushing nose.

“Mother.” you flicked the blood off your prosthetic hand. “Fucker.”

At this, travis bolts. You drop your bag and get back on your skateboard, weaving through the crowd to get to that shrimpy little fuck.

“I’m so fucking done with nockfell.” blood trails down the side of your face as you lock your eyes on the blond mop of hair in front of you.

Do you jump? Or let him get away?

Nah, you jump.

The skateboard shoots out beneath you as you kick off. He lets out a strangled cry as you land on his back and send him to the concrete. A few whoops can be heard from the kids far behind you.

“Fuck, i’m sorry! Get off me!” he scrambles beneath you.

“Now you’re fucking sorry?”

He doesnt say anything. You slowly climb off, keeping a hand on his neck.

“Pussy.” a snicker escapes you.

“What’d you just-” the hand on his neck squeezes tighter and shuts him up.

“What’s your name again?”

“Tr-travis, fuck.”

“Travis, huh? Well, travis-”

“(Y/n)? What are you doing on Travis?”

Sal’s point of view:

Me and larry were getting off the bus when we heard a bunch of cheering. Weird. I looked in the direction larry was staring. Hold on, that’s travis and some other kid on top of him.

“Sally face! I think that’s fucking (Y/n)! Holy shit!” larry shakes my shoulder. That’s actually her! What is she doing on travis?

“Larry, c’mon, we have to go get her off!” i try pulling him away, but he doesnt budge.

“No way, man! I wanna see her beat him up! She’s doing what you won’t let me do!” he smiles wide. Fuck, i guess i’ll just have to go alone. Larry frowns as i drop my bag and begin running towards them. I’m not letting her get in trouble on the first day. I hear her say something to him as i come closer.

“(Y/n)? What are you doing on travis?”

She looks up in surprise. Holy shit, she’s bleeding!

“I’ve gotten fucked up twice in the past 24 hours. I’m not letting this fuck get away with it.” She snarls. As bad as i feel, she’s kind of attractive, bloody and feral like that. God, what the fuck? Not time for this, sal.

“Oh my god, (y/n)! Here, uh, get up and i’ll take you to the office.”

Your point of view:

You look back at travis. There’s a visible blush on his face, and he’s staring straight at sally.

Oh.

OH.

A smirk forms on your face.

“No thanks, porcelain face. Me and blondie here will go by ourselves. Right?”

He growls, but you tighten your grip on his neck again and he nods.

“Uh, okay. Do you want me to take your skateboard or something?” Sal scratches his head and changes the topic. Just a sliver of jealousy can be found in him, but he is grateful for the nickname. It suits him.

Your expression darkens for a second, all of a sudden feeling possessive of your skateboard. He’s not touching it. It was your dad’s.

“No. Take my bag or something.” you nod towards it by the entrance of the school, where it sits. He obeys and gets up to pick up your bag. You pull travis up with you, blood dripping down your shirt and an arm around his shoulders. Sal’s quite a bit away at this point.

“You gay?” you hum. Travis’s back straightens and fear flashes through his eyes. How did you know? How the fuck did you know?

“No! Fuck you, you’re just a pussy who thinks she knows everything-” he starts yelling, trying to get away, but you interrupt him.

“God, shut up. You’re making my head hurt more. It’s okay, you know. I wont fucking tell anyone about your little self exploration journey.” you pat him on the back and he flushes.

“Fuck, you’re so sappy it’s disgusting.”

“I’m not gonna be a dick to someone because of their sexuality, fuckass. I’m not that low. Let’s get to the school.”

taglist: @dream-of-eros @potatochic2003 @mr-bombastic @purelydarling @ghostfacefricker6969 @deadpoetsandhoney

[chaoticpuff17]

When the Chips are Down

part 4

masterlist

hello my darlings, You asked for it, and now it’s here. Please enjoy my chaotic ramblings as I dive back into my hectic schedule while also being volunteered for child care!--- chaotic puff

Y/N begrudgingly had to admit that she was in love with the nursery. It was beautiful, warm, comfortable. It wasn’t the nursery she and Mark had made together, but it felt safe even if she knew that nothing was safe while she was in Namjoon’s clutches. It felt like it was hers though. She hadn’t been the one to decorate or set it up, but it was hers. The room was familiar and safe. This was where she had retreated from Namjoon after that horrible night. It was with a sickening feeling to know that that was probably the night that her sweet baby had been conceived. It wasn’t fair to the child. It wasn’t fair to her either. 

It was good to like the nursery. She’d be spending a lot of time in it once the baby arrived, probably even before as she tried to avoid namjoon. She knew deep down though that there was no avoiding him. She doubted he’d ever let her out of his sight again or at least not for a very long time. Even now he hovered over her as she fluttered around the nursery. She was nine months pregnant. Did he really think she was going to run? She doubted she could run even if she tried. She moved at a waddle, her belly impeding any sudden or quick movement. She loved her baby, but she was very ready to not be pregnant anymore. The stress of being back and not having Mark with her wasn’t helping anything either. She was liable to bite Namjoon’s head off if she didn’t get some space, but that wasn’t going to happen. 

“You need to eat something, jagi.” Namjoon sighed watching as she went through the baby clothes he had prepared. 

There wasn’t anything gender specific. He’d arrange for her to pick things once they knew what they were having, but gender neutral outfits would work well for a newborn. His research and Yoongi’s wife had informed him how many outfits a newborn baby could go through in a day. 

“I’m not hungry.” she grumbled, releasing a sigh of her own. 

“You need to eat.” 

“She might be nauseous.” a new voice called from the door to the nursery. 

She turned to find Yoongi and a woman she didn’t know standing in the doorway. Even more surprising was the fact that the woman was holding a baby, a baby that looked unnervingly like Yoongi. 

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Namjoon smiled, tiredly ignoring the guarded look that Sen gave him. 

“You called us.” Yoongi grumbled. “Something about bonding and babies.” 

Y/N looked to Namjoon, completely unimpressed by the fact he had essentially arranged a playdate for her, but it would admittedly be nice to have another woman to talk to other than Miss In. The maids were all terrified of her as Namjoon’s wife. 

“Shoo.” The woman growled shifting the baby on her hip. “Leave the ladies to talk.” 

“She needs…” 

“I think I know a little more about pregnant women than you do, sajangnim.” She smiled sweetly, though the expression lacked any sincerity. Y/N could tell immediately that she was going to like this woman. “Yoongi.” 

The man held up his hands in surrender, dragging out a protesting Namjoon so that the two women could get acquainted. 

“I’m Sen. Yoongi’s wife.” she introduced herself keeping a little distance between herself and the other woman for both of their comfort. 

“I didn’t know that Yoongi got married.” 

“How could you? You weren’t here.” Y/N flinched a little at that, but Sen was quick to correct herself. “Oh no, don’t get me wrong. I admire you for making it out. No one else would have the guts. Namjoon is one scary mother fucker.” Y/N had to laugh at that. “Doing what you did takes some balls.” 

“Still ended up back here.” 

“You did better than I did.” 

Y/N froze staring at the other woman with wide eyes. “You escaped?” 

“I wouldn’t say escaped so much as left. Yoongi and I weren’t together. I was one of Jimin’s girls. I left when I realized I was pregnant. Yoongi showed up at the hospital right after this little guy was born.” 

“Yoongi’s?” 

“Not like he would allow me to see anyone else, possessive bastard.” 

“Seems to be a running trend here.” 

“Come on.” Sen laughed, taking a step towards her. “You should sit down. That baby has to be giving you some back pain by now.” 

“You have no idea.” She groaned, sinking down into the rocking chair again. “How old is he?” 

“Three months. His name’s Yoonho.” 

“He’s cute.” 

“Want to hold him?” Sen offered practically shoving the baby into her arms. “I’m desperate for someone else to hold the little bugger. Yoongi is possessive, but you’d think the baby was a bomb with the way he treats him.” 

“He doesn’t seem like a baby person.” 

“He’s not.” Sen laughed as Y/N settled little Yoonho against her bump. 

She had to admit the kid was adorable, chubby in the most delicious way, like a little dumpling. He had dark hair that stuck up at odd angles, and she was in love. It could have been the hormones running through her system, but she was completely enamored with the little guy. 

“How do you do it?” She asked, her voice soft and unsure. “How do you raise a baby in all this?” 

“You do the best you can. No one asks for this, but at least it comes with some very luxurious settings.” 

Y/N smiled a little. It was true that Namjoon provided a very gilded cage. The nursery was proof of that. Everything was arranged to make her life comfortable, even if she was anything but, and looking down at Yoonho she was reminded she wouldn’t be alone in this soon. She was going to have a little one of her own to look after, to protect from all of this.

Part of her wished that she was having a boy. There’d be no pressure to have another baby with Namjoon. A greater part of her wished that it would be a girl. She didn’t want to give her tormentor the heir he needed. It was a patriarchy after all. He needed a boy, and she didn’t want to give that to him. She didn’t want to give him any children, but it was too late for that. In a few short weeks there was going to be a baby whether she wanted it to be Namjoon’s or not.

Sen observed the other woman for a moment, watching the melancholy drift over her features from her seat on the floor. There were other chairs, but the floor seemed like the best option for when Yoonho decided he was going to be fussy and wanted floor time. “You okay?”

“Not really.” She answered with a shaky smile. “He’s adorable.”

“You won’t say that when he’s crying.”

“You were one of Jimin’s girls?” she asked curiously, desperate to get the focus off of her and her life.

“I was working off my mom’s debt. Stayed because it paid well.” She shrugged. “I was always planning on leaving, but he sped up my time table.” Y/N nodded understandingly practically melting as the baby cooed up at her. “Apparently up and leaving with one of the big seven’s babies is frowned upon.”

“Apparently.”

She wasn’t naïve enough to notice the similarities in their stories. They had both been thrust into this life, for different reasons, and they had both tried to leave, unsuccessfully so. She was honestly surprised that Namjoon had allowed them to be alone together, but he had probably only been thinking of the baby side of things and not the scheming wife side of it.

“It gets better.” Sen offered only to be met with a disbelieving look from the other woman. “It does.”

“You just have to be their doll.”

“No one said it was easy, but there are things you have to do for your family.”

“He’s killed my family.”

“Not the baby.”

“I’m terrified it’s going to be a boy, that I’m going to bring a little Namjoon into the world.”

Sen nodded understandingly. “You’ll love that baby regardless. Even if that baby is Namjoon’s carbon copy, it’s still yours too. You get to raise it.”

“It feels like he’s won. He’s taken everything.”

Sen sighed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to find the words to say. “You still have your baby, and despite everything, you have Namjoon’s ear. You can use that. Do you know how hard he worked to find you? We were honestly all a little scared of him.”

“We?”

“The other girls.”

A choked sound of surprise left her at that. She was stunned. Namjoon was going to hold her escape against her. He was going to hold Mark against her, but he had gone to see Jimin’s girls in her absence. It was horribly and hilariously hypocritical.

“The other girls.”

“No one really wanted to mess with him before you. He’s scary. You know? But after you? He was an absolute nightmare. Those poor girls have probably all breathed a sigh of relief to know that you’re back.”

“They can keep him.”

“After the past few months? They don’t want him.”

“I don’t want him either.” She scoffed bouncing the baby a little as he fussed.

“Then we’re all agreed. We should form a club.”

Y/N couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing, a mix of emotions running through her. Eventually the laughing slowed into tears, which Sen was quick to notice.

She stood up quickly, scooping the baby up with one arm and draping the other comfortingly around the other woman’s shoulders.

“It’s going to be alright.” She promised. “You’re not alone here anymore. We have to look out for each other, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Besides, who else is going to listen to me complain about diapers and gush over baby clothes?” Y/N let out another teary laugh. “Why don’t we go take a walk in the garden? I think we could all use some fresh air.”

---

Namjoon watched from his office window as his wife and Yoongi’s strolled through the garden. They were talking and laughing in a way that was comfortable, familiar, something he hadn’t even seen her display with Jin and Jungkook, and he begrudgingly had to admit that those two were her favorites of the bunch. She was always happier with everyone who wasn’t him. He shouldn’t have been jealous. He knew she needed female friends, but he wanted her to be that comfortable with him.

“If you keep frowning like that your face is going to freeze.” Yoongi drawled from where he was lounging in one of Namjoon’s chairs. “Sit down and relax. You’re gonna miss it after the baby comes. They cry, all the time.” Namjoon didn’t move. “She’s not going to suddenly come running to you because you’re staring at her like a psychopath from the window.”

“I don’t like to be away from her. We were apart too long already.”

Yoongi groaned leaning his head back. “She needs space too. She doesn’t like you.”

“I know that.” Namjoon snapped irritably. He didn’t need to be reminded of his failure to woo his own wife.

“It could get better.” Yoongi offered lazily. “Babies change things. You never know.”

God, Namjoon hoped that was true. He hoped that the baby would soften her to him. He wanted, no needed, them to be a family. He wanted her to smile and laugh with him like she was with Sen in the garden. He wanted it to be the two of them and their own child, maybe even a few more. They had the perfect house for kids. He had the perfect wife. He just needed her to see that.

“How does Sen not chop your head off?”

“I don’t step on her toes, and she doesn’t step on mine.” Yoongi shrugged. “But I’ve known her a long time. She knows me. She may not like me, but we’re comfortable together. Y/N is not comfortable with you.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder?”

“She ran off with another man.”

“And you fucked Jimin’s girls. They’re terrified of you.”

Namjoon growled in frustration, his eyes still fixed on her figure as she continued her walk. They’d both made mistakes. He knew that, and he was willing to forgive her, even if he wouldn’t forgive the man who had taken her away. All that mattered was that she and the baby were home again, with him.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“I guarantee it matters to her.”

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She doesn’t need any more stress right now. It isn’t good for the baby.”

Yoongi scoffed at that, but didn’t say anything more.

---

Several hours later, Sen and Yoongi were due to head home, much to Y/N’s dismay. It was nice to have someone who understood around, but she couldn’t blame the other woman for wanting to go back to her own house, to unwind and relax and settle her baby down for a much needed nap.

Yoongi was visibly smug by how well the two women got along, and Namjoon was hovering, ready to whisk her away for lunch. He was still fixated on the fact she hadn’t eaten any of the breakfast he had had prepared for her.

“I’ll come again soon.” Sen promised, one hand holding Y/N’s. “We can pick some things for the baby.”

“Thank you for coming.” She smiled leaning in to hug the woman goodbye and to coo one last time at the baby.

Namjoon would have been lying to say he didn’t melt at the sight of her interacting with Yoongi’s child. He couldn’t wait for it to be his child she was fussing over. Soon, he reminded himself. He would have this soon.

“Come on.” Yoongi grumbled, gently taking the baby from Sen. “It’s time to go home, and Namjoon looks like he’s going to have an anxiety attack if he doesn’t get Y/N to eat in the next five minutes.”

“Hyung.” Namjoon nodded, relieved to have the visitors leaving so he could have time with his wife.

“It’s going to be okay.” Sen whispered as she gave the other woman a hug. “You have all the power right now. Don’t forget that. He can’t do anything while you’re carrying his child.”

True, but how far could she really push her boundaries before Namjoon pushed back? She didn’t know, but she was planning on finding out.

part 5

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

The Wolf & The Hound

Chapter 4: Blessed Name Day

Summary: Ever since your conversation with Sansa, Sandor has disappeared. Was she right?

Notes: First update on the new blog!

The next two weeks were so crazy preparing for Sansa’s coronation that you barely noticed that Sandor wasn’t around as much as before. It crossed your mind as you lied down in bed at the end of the night, but you were so exhausted from the day that you fell asleep before your mind could begin to panic. 

But it was felt, on a subconscious level. Your protective shadow was not there and it left you cold. Maybe Sansa was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t you that he wanted to court, but he told Sansa that to hide his true motives. 

The morning of the ceremony, you were up long before dawn and dressed so you could race to Sansa’s room to help her. As Brienne was the only woman of the Queen’s Guard she met you at the door and entered a step behind.

“Good morning, my lady. Are you ready to begin your day?” You curtsied shortly after you entered the room, Sansa standing next to the window to look out over the courtyard. 

“Good morning, ___. Yes, please. We have a long day ahead of us. Ser Brienne? While ____ tends to me, can you please have the kitchen bring up breakfast for all of us?”

“Yes, my lady,” Brienne bowed and left the room.

While Brienne was gone, you went to work filling Sansa’s bath with hot water, bathing and dressing her, and finally brushing her hair as Brienne returned with a member of the kitchen staff carrying a huge tray of food. Sansa wanted to wear her hair unbound as she wanted all the attention on her new crown and gown. So you gently curled the ends.

You then helped her dress in her dark grey dress that had many representations of the North. From the red leaves of the Weirwood Trees to a sleeve made of crow feathers to the metallic bodice that was a mirror of Weirwood branches. One sleeved looked like fish scales to represent her mother while the collar looked like a dire wolf for her father. She was beautiful.

If she was nervous, Sansa never let on. Holding her head high as you busied yourself getting her ready for the ceremony. You then stepped back so Brienne could escort her to the Great Hall. Normally, you would follow Sansa everywhere, but you wanted to quickly get her room ready so it was more fit for a queen.

You raced to change the sheets on the bed, clean her bathroom, douse the fire and clean out the ashes before creating a fresh fire. The floors were swept and cleaned and windows opened to air out the room. The last thing you did was dash down to the kitchen to make a small bundle of cinnamon and rosemary and ran back to place it in the fireplace to burn, so her room would smell welcoming when she returned.

Then you went to your room to bathe and change into clean clothes before you raced to the Great Hall. The room was packed with representatives of the remaining Northern Houses, her brother, Bran Stark, as well as Sansa’s uncle, Edmure Tulley from Riverrun, and Robin Arryn of the Eyrie. You tucked yourself into a back corner where you could easily see the dais. The normal high table had been removed and replaced with a new Throne of the North, with dire wolves on each end on the back. 

Sansa entered the room and was trailed behind by her new Queen’s Guard. You hadn’t had a chance to admire the new armor this morning. The current five members wore black armor with a grey dire wolf head on the chest plate and grey capes trailing behind them. Sandor looked amazing in the new armor. He had even trimmed his beard to appear less scruffy for his new queen. And like the other guards, he kept his eyes ahead as he escorted Sansa to her new throne.

Once there, the maester placed the new crown upon her head as he announced the new Queen of the North. It was a simple band, molded to look like the Stark pattern with two dire wolves meeting at the front. 

The moment the crown touched her head, the North chanted: “The Queen of the North!”

You could not be more proud of the young woman you had helped raise. She looked every bit the queen that she had planned to be when she was a little girl and promised to that monster, Joffrey.

That night, all of Winterfell filled with loud voices, music, and the distant howling of wolves as everyone celebrated their new queen. You took a moment here and there to drink a glass of ale or wine, but mostly you tried to busy yourself so you wouldn’t focus on the fact that Sandor and Sansa were talking once again.

Yes, Sansa told you that Sandor really wanted you. But seeing them together made it so hard to believe those words. Especially when Sandor had yet to confirm them.

So that night you went to bed early to save your heart.

The next morning you were up early again and off to Sansa’s room, where you got a surprise from Arya in the hall.

“And where are you going?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “To Queen’s Sansa’s room? I have to get her grace ready for the day.”

“Absolutely not! We know you’ve been lying to the staff about when your name day is, but you forgot we grew up with you. You have today off while the feast is prepared. Now head back to your room, a bath is being drawn and food is being brought up.”

Your jaw dropped in shock. “But Ser, I’m just a handmaid.”

Arya wouldn’t hear it. “You kept by my sister’s side, especially in King’s Landing when I couldn’t. You are family. Now go.”

Confused, but slowly growing happy at the sisters’ insistence of taking care of you, you went back to your room to enjoy a quiet morning. A brand new dress was awaiting you on the bed, no doubt a gift from Sansa and you couldn’t wait to change into it. You took your time, enjoying the warm bath, the good food, and then sitting in front of the fireplace in your room in a towel as you gently dried your hair, using your fingers to break up any tangles. 

After you finally put on the new dress, you left your room to walk the grounds. Fresh snow had fallen during the night and your footsteps were muted as you made your way to the Gods’ Wood. For once, Bran was not parked in front of the giant weirwood tree and so you took a seat at the stone by the trunk. 

You were quietly praying to the Old Gods when a deep voice interrupted your thoughts. 

“Forgive me, Little Wolf. I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

Your heart leaped in your chest at his voice. A voice you had not heard in weeks. Raising your head, a small smile graced your face as you answered. “No. I was merely speaking with the Old Gods. Thanking them for another year and for watching over me so I was able to return home safely.”

Sandor frowned at your words and you wondered what his relationship with religion was. He was from the South, but he never seemed the type to visit the Great Sept while in King’s Landing. 

“You believe in all that?” He slowly approached you.

“I don’t know,” you looked down at your hands as he stopped at your feet. “I did when I was a child, but much of that changed when I traveled South. But I know I cannot turn my back on them completely.”

“And why is that?” Sandor questioned.

“I believe they kept me alive. No one taught me to fight like Arya, no one taught me how to scheme my way to safety like Queen Sansa, and no one was by my side to fight for me. And yet, I not only survived King’s Landing but getting home as well.”

Sandor crouched until he was in your line of sight. Snow was drifting down from the deep red weirwood leaves, dotting hit hair and beard giving him a soft look to his tough face. 

“I believe you are not giving yourself enough credit, Little Wolf. I saw with my own eyes how you can take down a man when cornered.”

Your face grew warm at his praise. “Thank you. But I hope to never have to do that again.”

He cleared his throat and shifted on his feet. “You won’t. Not while I’m here.”

“You promise?”

A small smile graced his lips. “I promise, Little Wolf. I will never leave your side until you command it.”

You let out a shaky breath. “That’s unrealistic. You’re Sansa’s guard.”

“Aye, I am. But you are her handmaid and where she is, you are. I will protect both of you.”

“Thank you, Sandor. That means a great deal to me.”

“Does it?” Doubt crept into his eyes. “Most might be scared off by the idea of my following them around.”

“Aye. There was a time you frightened me as well. But that was before I truly got to know you.” You held a hand up to stop him from interrupting. “Now, that is not to say I don’t know your past. I am well aware of you who were. But any fool can clearly see you are no longer the man who left King’s Landing during the battle against Stannis.”

“I’ve tried. After my fight with Brienne, I was saved by a Septon. He taught me a few things. And before you comment - I can see your curiosity - he was once like me. So he would be the only religious fucker I’d listen to.”

You gave a small laugh. “Yes, that makes sense.”

His face grew serious. “There is something I’ve wanted to speak with you about. Something that has been on my mind for a while. But with the coronation, I haven’t had the time.”

“Well, you’re here now and I have the whole day to myself.”

“Aye, I know. Sansa told me where I could find you.” He ran a hand over his beard, trying to find his next words. “Little Wolf, I know who I am. I’ve done horrible things, things no one should be proud of. I’m no knight and I’m not a rich man. But I’m trying to change so I don’t- so I won’t be someone so frightening. You are a beautiful, quick-witted woman who can survive, even if she may not believe so. Any man would be lucky to court you.”

You took a shaky breath as he forced himself to meet your eyes.

“Would you...allow me to court you?”

The God’s Wood became still at his words and you tried to comprehend what he had asked you. Did Sandor really ask to court you?

“You...want to court me?”

Sandor tried to hide his face falling, mistaking your words for a no. “I know that may not seem something I would do, but I wanted to do right by you and our queen.”

You reached over and took his hand. “Sandor, I would love to court you.”

While his face did not betray any emotions - as was standard for this stoic man - but he reached up with his other hand and cupped your cheek. You placed your free hand over his as you felt yourself smile. Sansa was right! He really did want to court you.

He shifted on his feet and leaned in, the question in his eyes. And the answer was on your lips as you leaned in the remainder of the way to close the gap. It was the first sign of affection Sandor had ever given and he felt no place was more appropriate for a Northern girl than under a weirwood tree. So you would know how serious he was about you.

His large hand moved from your cheek to the back of your head to hold you closer to him and you moved both of your hands around his neck. Sandor pulled away after a few moments and you could feel how warm your face was, despite winter flowing all around. 

“We should get you back inside, Little Wolf. The Queen will have the feast ready soon.”

“You’re right, we shouldn’t keep Her Grace waiting.”

He climbed to his feet and held out a hand to help you up. Then after tucking your hand into the crook of his arm, he lead you out of the God’s Wood and back to Winterfell. You could tell he felt a bit awkward at the formality of courting so you squeezed his arm.

“Sandor, I know you are worried about doing things right for me - for us - with our courting. But perhaps instead of doing what others would expect, we do what truly would work for us?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you are trying to change yourself, but we both know you are not a romantic man. There will be no vase of Winter Roses awaiting me in my chamber. So instead, let us move forward as us. You will show your affection your own way. And I will do the same.”

You looked up at him and could see the smirk forming. “Aye, that sounds like that path may suit us better.”

Inside the Great Hall, many of the lords and ladies who had traveled for Sansa’s coronation were there and the feast was already set up. All that was missing was you.

Sansa looked up from talking to Arya, a smile growing on her face. “There you are! We were afraid we would have to begin without you two.”

Arya snorted. “Looks like the old shit got some words to share.”

Sandor growled. “No one asked you.”

Sansa smirked. “Are we celebrating two things today?”

Your face grew warm. “Yes, Your Grace. Sandor has asked to court me.”

Arya rolled her eyes. “About damn time. You haven’t kept your eyes off her since we found her in the woods.”

“Shut your mouth, you little shit.”

“Whatever. Let’s get the drinks going.”

“Good idea, Arya.” Sansa turned back to you. “If you wish to announce your courtship tonight, just say the word. Otherwise, the kitchen has made your favorite tonight. Blessed Name Day, ____.”

“Thank you, Your Grace.”

Sansa stepped forward to give you a quick hug before she continued around the room to speak with the other lords. Sandor took this cue to lead you to a table where he poured you a glass of wine. Plates of food were brought over and Sandor took a seat across from you.

“So what will you do?”

A smile graced your face as you picked up your fork. “Tonight, I will just enjoy the food and wine. And perhaps, a few moments alone with you. Tomorrow, we can worry about expressing our news.”

“Moments alone?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“If you feel up for it later.”

“Anything for you, Little Wolf.”

Tagging Crew:

Everything

@marvelfansworld​

@that-chick212​

GoT

@harper-emory-writes​

The Wolf & The Hound

@imagine-the-fanfics​

@imagine-the-fanfics-main​

[arcanigenum]

Jacques’ The Boys verse and....... porn.

It’s no secret that Jacques does porn and that he loves it. Sure, it has caused people to question everything about his character which can be hard to deal with, but who gives a shit when others desire him?! Anyway. He started out in his late teens just for kicks. He knew he looked good, he had a big dick, and he was fucking stupid, so why not. He stayed anonymous to not risk getting shamed into oblivion and have no chance at a normal career. Sites like pornhub was the go-to, and he’s been using the name Magnifiquiqui since forever. He also frequently used cam sites. It was mostly solo stuff with toys, but incorporated partners both male and female as he got older. A versatile and silly twink.

Jacques worked as a police officer and within other types of security, so he has managed pretty well to keep the normal job and the side hustle separate. He dabbled in other types of sex work too just to try it, not because he needed it. For the chaos. 

Eventually he showed his face and still stayed out of trouble. He did more modeling for fun. OnlyFans became a thing and he had a strong presence on social media. He grew into the role of an adult entertainer and began to look for agencies. But actually getting work within porn as a dude and getting hired is fucking hard. 

And then he got leukemia and was going to die, and disappeared from the scene and internet for months 🙃 So he got the compound V in the adult trials, and we know how that went. The V and the cancer cells got some crazy kind of reaction and he officially became an actual monster. Death would have been better because who in their right mind would want him now?!

Turns out a lot of people still wanted him, actually, as he found out. People are freaks. Embracing his new self instead of rejecting it, he went back into porn and was dedicated to it. He could now do the genre of supe porn and work for supe sites. It made it easier to finally get an agent and get hired. He used his real name this time. Anyone can look you up anyway these days.

While he still does your regular porn with men and women, solo, gangbangs, some kink, yada yada, the focus is probably supe porn. In Jacques’ case, incredibly niched porn, considering it’s body horror based. He’s got “tentacles” to fuck others with or restrain them with. He can crack open wherever on his body so someone could fuck an organ. One could watch stuff move inside him. Face fucking by just throwing up intestine-looking tentacles. Partial vore. He can hulk out to 10000 % for true monster fucker porn. It’s sick and crazy and there are people out there who love it.

His free content is kind of the same as the paywall ones. Just much shorter, and the good stuff is cut out. Sometimes he streams live where users get to tell him what to do or even control a fucking machine. He does nsfw reaction videos to other people’s porn, and to his own material. He of course has a strong social media presence once again, and creates content both for Tiktok and Youtube.  

Between being an actor and a model, he has picked up skills in being behind the camera too to earn extra money. He might have a gross ability that makes him unique, but he’s still a man. Men just don’t get paid as much as women. 

He could get some other type of job. He doesn’t want to. He loves his job and navigates the risks and abusers to the best of his ability. He gets to challenge himself physically and mentally. A lot of friends already left him when he was dying so there weren’t many of them left anyway, but he’s made new ones. His father doesn’t like to talk about his job, but his mother has turned out to be his biggest supporter and congratulates him excitedly when he’s won an award. Not all moms brag about their son winning best anal, but she does. 

[ijustwant2write]

A Little Secret-Alfie Solomons x Reader (Part 3/?)

(GIF credit to @fockingshelby​)

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2

Tags: @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mollybegger-blog​ @broitsriah​ @maryan028​ @peakascum​ @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight​ @mzcrazy2​ @br0ck-eddie​

Summary: After Alfie’s outburst, he has been avoiding Izzy, not wanting to face up to his disappointment. However, Izzy thinks the exact opposite, but of course, she doesn’t do anything to amend the situation. She too keeps out of his way, thinking she’ll only make him more angry, until they both receive a letter.

Characters: Alfie Solomons x OC!Reader, Ollie x OC!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mention of death, arguing, shouting, crying, trauma, low self esteem issues

                                   *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Izzy heard something be pushed through the letterbox as she buttered her toast, wiping her buttery hand on a tea towel before going to retrieve it. She hardly got post, all of the time it would be bills, but today was different. It was in a crisp, white envelope with fancy handwriting, it even had a seal on the back. She inspected the wax, trying to figure out who it was from. Izzy had no friends, no family, which meant that this made her heart race in fear rather than anticipation. It opened without ripping and she took out the neatly folded letter. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she read it.

Dear Isabelle,

You are cordially invited to the opening of ‘The Blue Note’.

We have recently taken ownership before refurbishing, giving the club a completely new look and fresh feel. The evening will commence at 7.00PM where music and beverages will be provided. 

Please RSVP to the return address labelled on the envelope. We await for your reply with anticipation.

Kind regards,

Thomas Shelby

Shelby Company Limited

Izzy had no clue who Thomas Shelby was, or why he had invited her to a club opening. If her name hadn’t been addressed at the top, she would think it was just a businessman’s idea to bring in customers. This couldn’t be a coincidence, not after everything that was happening that week. She read it again as she finished her toast, noticing that it was almost time for her to go once she finished eating.

The morning at work went by as usual, time moving swiftly as Izzy completed her tasks alongside everybody else. It had been three days since the incident of her being locked up, and Alfie had avoided her like the plague. Although Izzy had wanted to speak with him, explain that she wasn’t upset with his actions, she knew she would never have the confidence to do so. Like always, she let life pass her by and decide her fate, rather than take control of it herself.

“Izzy,” Ollie got her attention, shoving a pile of letters into her hands,“need you to take these to Alfie, now.”

“I can’t!” Izzy protested, hating that Ollie was already walking away.“He doesn’t want to speak to me.”

“Then don’t speak, just drop off the letters.”

Ollie disappeared around the corner, causing Izzy to tense up, clutching onto the letters. Taking a deep breath, she turned around to look at Alfie’s office door, seeming more daunting than usual. Wanting to get it over with, she picked up the pace, finding herself in front of the door quicker than she expected. Knocking swiftly, Izzy could feel her heart rate increase as she was called in.

Of course Alfie knew it was her by the sound of the knock. He still wanted to keep away from Izzy, not wanting to risk upsetting her more than he already had. When she had cried out his name and ran after him after he punched that fucker, he had hated how that chipped away at him. She was his weakness, and no one else could see that. Noticing how she kept her head down, quickly placing the letters on his desk before turning around.

“Izzy.” he grumbled. 

She froze, glancing over her shoulder.

“I don’t have enough fucking time to sort through this. Do you mind reading them for me?”

She fully turned around, nodding before taking a seat. The first two letters weren’t of any importance to Alfie, he dismissed them after the starting sentence. But the next letter Izzy picked up was familiar to her, and Alfie noticed this.

“You like the look of that one?” he asked in a monotone voice.

“It’s just...” she mumbled.“I’m sure this is the same as the one I received this morning.”

That perked Alfie up.“What?”

She began opening it, recognising the wax seal.“Yeah, it is. It’s an invitation.”

Alfie held out his hand to take it, holding his glasses with his other hand as he read it. He looked confused at first, until he saw the signed name at the bottom, fury filling his body at the thought of Thomas Shelby knowing everything about Izzy.

“You’re not going.” he stated, carelessly throwing the paper on the desk.

“You know I’m not a big fan of clubs anyway.”

“You don’t reply to him, you don’t open anymore letters from him, and you go no where near that club!”

“Mr Solomons, I wasn’t going to-”

“He shouldn’t know about you.”

“Who? Who is Thomas Shelby?”

“He’s the business associate that visited, when that man got shot.”

“How does he know where I live?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you...do you think he wants to hurt me?”

Alfie said nothing, abruptly standing from his chair and storming to his office door. Leaning out of it, he yelled out Ollie’s name, harshly slamming the door again which caused Izzy to flinch. She shouldn’t have mentioned the letter, she was in trouble now, it wasn’t like she was going to go to the club anyway. 

Ollie knocked before entering, sensing the tension in the room as he glanced between his boss and friend. Alfie shoved the letter into Ollie’s hands, his eyes widening as he read it. What was Thomas Shelby’s plan here? He knew Alfie’s temper was short, and he knew that Izzy meant a lot more to than man than he wanted to let on. This wasn’t good, Izzy shouldn’t even be near this place, she never should have been in the first place. Alfie whispered in Ollie’s ear, it was so quiet to ensure that Izzy wouldn’t catch one word of it. 

“Mr Solomons?” Izzy piped up as Ollie left. She tried to make eye contact, but he left swiftly.

“You’re going home now, collecting as many of your things as possible, and letting the lads take you somewhere to stay.” he demanded.

“I’m sorry?”

“Ollie and a few lads are going to drive you home. If you need extra cases, I can get ya’ some-”

“Why am I packing my belongings?”

“Cause you’re staying in an old place of mine, somewhere where no one will find you.”

“W-why? Mr Solomons, what’s going on?”

“I’ll explain once you’re safe.”

“Please Mr Solomons,” Izzy stood, catching his attention and stopping him from pacing,“I need to understand what’s happening. You can’t just cart me about and kick me out of my home!”

She was scared, it was evident all over her face. Alfie didn’t want to tell her. He wanted to hide her away from it all until it was all over, keep her safe until he had shot all those bastards dead. 

Ollie popped his head through the door.“Cars ready Alfie.”

“Please Alfie.” Izzy hardly used his first name.

“Go.”

Izzy’s mind was screaming at her to defend herself, keep begging for an answer. Something dangerous was going on here, and she was near, if not in, the centre of it all. Why couldn’t she just be like any other normal person? They would at least have the decency to raise their voice. But she was weak. She always had been, it would never change. Quickly turning away from Alfie, she hunched up as she brushed past Ollie. There wasn’t anything she could do to go against him.

Staying silent in the car, Izzy had her hands clasped together, squished between two burly men Alfie had entrusted her safety in. Ollie was driving with another man in the passenger seat. No one was in the mood for conversation, not that Izzy would ever be able to hold one with any of them; Ollie was the only one she had ever spoken to for more than two minutes. 

“Be quick as you can Izzy, we need to get you to the safe house.” Ollie advised as they entered her home, two men staying beside the car as the other two checked around the back of her house.“You need me to grab anything for you down here?”

“Um...” it was incredibly hard to think of all your possessions off the top of your head.“No, thank you, Ollie. I...I think everything I need is upstairs.”

Izzy had emptied all of her drawers and wardrobe into the cases she had, though she didn’t own that many clothes anyway. There weren’t any valuable items laying about, though there was one thing she had to save. Kneeling on the floor, Izzy reached underneath her bed, feeling around for the chipped floorboard. Once found, she silently lifted it, reaching inside for the last letters her mother wrote her, as well as the necklace she’d had since she moved there...it had been gifted by a certain someone. 

“Where are we going Ollie? Where’s this safe house? I don’t mind walking to work, I just want to know how far away it is.” Izzy asked as she struggled to carry her cases downstairs.

He quickly took them off her, though hid how heavy they were.“Um, Alfie will explain once we’re there.”

“Mr Solomons will be there?”

“Please Izzy, just do what he’s told you so neither of us get in trouble.”

He didn’t mean to snap, but Izzy knew by now not to question everything. Sometimes her staying silent was the best option. Ollie handed over her cases to the men to load into the car, waiting for her to lock up. She took out her keys, looking up at the tiny, terraced house she had lived in for so many years. It seemed dramatic, but being away from the only place she felt comfort, the only place she could control the look of, it made her uneasy, especially because she didn’t know how long she would be away from it.

The car ride indicated that this safe house was certainly further away than Izzy would have liked. Ollie was secretly glad that the other men were here, it stopped her from asking questions. He didn’t actually know the full story, he didn’t know why Alfie was taking such big precautions; and he was being made to drive through the slums into the countryside, the city slowly being left behind. Firstly the houses started to get bigger and further away from each other, they went from blocks of flats, terraced, before becoming semi-detached. The streets started to look cleaner, as did the people walking them. Instead of homeless men and prostitutes lining the streets, women out for afternoon strolls with their babies in prams chatted away to each other, and old couples enjoyed their retirement together. Izzy held back a smile as she peeked out of the window, having only imagined places like this when she read her books.

Unfortunately, the awkwardness remained in the car for another twenty minutes, all of them secretly relieved when they pulled up at another house. It wasn’t a place that homed people full of riches, though they certainly weren’t poor. Driving down a back alley, they parked outside a small, semi-detached house. The other house beside it had a boarded up door and windows, with overgrown ivy all over it.

“This belongs to Mr Solomons?” Izzy asked as they all exited the car.

“Apparently so. I was as shocked as you are.” Ollie said before instructing the others to take her cases inside.

As they stepped inside, they saw that it was minimally decorated, though that didn’t surprise them. There were a few cobwebs about the place, as well a dust that had settled on top of surfaces. But with a quick clean up, it could look homely. It hadn’t been lived in for a while, the floorboards creaked from the new weight (that was something Izzy was both thankful and upset about, she could hear if anyone was in the house, but then again, that would mean someone was in the house). 

“Izzy?” Ollie called to her as she explored the kitchen. Her head showed up in the doorway.“They’ve put your things upstairs.”

“Thank you.” she meekly said, going back into the kitchen until she saw Ollie leaving.“You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, the men will stay though, to guard you.”

She scurried down the hallway to him, standing in the doorway as he continued walking.“What am I meant to do?”

“Settle in. Alfie will be here soon, maybe you could clean up the house?” he was joking, but that didn’t resonate with Izzy.

“Do you know what’s going on? With any of this?”

He sighed, approaching her so the others wouldn’t hear.“I’m sorry Izzy, I don’t know anything. If I did, I promise I would tell you. Alfie has instructed me to bring you here, and said he’ll be coming to see you today.”

“Oh...right.”

“Izzy, you’ll be absolutely safe here, we’re prepared for anything...I didn’t mean...not that anything will happen. I’m going to go before I say anything else.”

After Ollie left, she locked the door with the keys left for her, wishing there were more locks. She was in a small state of shock. Her life was being controlled, all because of something that she had no idea about. The only thing she could do now was as Ollie said, settle in. She was disturbed by the dust everywhere, heading into the kitchen to find a duster and other cleaning supplies. Her own belongings could wait. Covering her mouth with a handkerchief, Izzy still coughed and sneezed, her eyes watering. The house was modest for what rooms it held. It had a front room, a kitchen, a bathroom, two bedrooms and a small garden. It was more than what Izzy had ever had, and it was properly furnished. But you knew no one had been living here.

“Izzy?” Alfie’s voice made her jump. She had just finished dusting in the bedroom her cases were.“Izzy, where are you?”

Removing the handkerchief from her mouth, she brushed off the dust that had fallen onto her dress as she made her way down the stairs. Alfie was stood at the bottom, watching her. In that moment, he couldn’t help but think...no, he shouldn’t be thinking things like that, they would never come true.

“What you think then?” Alfie sniffed.

“It’s a lovely house, Mr Solomons.”

“Won it in a bet didn’t I? Didn’t know it would come in handy one day. Tea?”

She followed him into the kitchen, starting to boil the water as he sat down at the table big enough for four people. He glanced around the place, trying to distract himself from how Izzy looked like the perfect housewife in that moment. No one spoke as the tea brewed. Izzy wanted to ask questions, but she knew she had to be grateful for whatever Mr Solomons was protecting her from. And Alfie didn’t want to say anything stupid, he thought she was still angry with him. Once the tea was ready, Izzy focused on keeping a steady hand as poured it into two cups. The tension was building more and more by the second, she didn’t want to make matters worse by pouring boiling water onto your boss’ crotch.

“You’re probably confused.” Alfie said, taking a sip of the drink.

Izzy sat beside him, leaving her cup.“Yes, I am.”

“I’m just being over cautious Iz, can’t risk anything.” 

“About what?”

He rubbed his eyes with one hand, sighing loudly.“That letter you received, it’s from Thomas Shelby.Do you know who he is?”

Izzy shook her head.

“I hoped you wouldn’t. But I’ve got to tell you in order for all of this to make sense. He’s the leader of this gang, right, this gang from Birmingham. They call themselves the Peaky Blinders, due to the razors they sew into their caps. It’s, it’s barbaric if you ask me.”

“And, this gang, they want to hurt me?”

“Nah, nah, not that I know of. But he’s becoming a powerful man. He’s proven that by finding out who you are and where you live.”

“You don’t think they had anything to do with the man who harassed me in the street?”

“Nah, but he’s up to something.”

“So...so what do we do now?”

“You’re going to stay here, until that’s figured out.”

“But how am I supposed to get to work? I mean, it’s no problem for me to walk, I just know it’s further away-”

“You’re not going to walk to work, because you’re not going to work Izzy.”

“But, how am I supposed to earn money? What am I going to do here?”

“I’ll still pay you. Think of it as holiday pay. A holiday where you can’t leave the house.”

“What?”

“No one knows you round here Izzy, but you can’t let anyone see you here. That’s why it’s good that the house is tucked away with no neighbours.”

“But I could be stuck here for ages.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you, you like being alone.”

Izzy raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, you keep to yourself, you don’t have any friends, what’s wrong with staying in here?”

“Because I’m trapped!”

Alfie hadn’t expected her to protest.“You’re not fucking trapped! You’re safe!”

“Safe from what? You won’t tell me!”

“What’s got into you? You’re never like this.”

“Because...because maybe I’m scared! You’re not telling me anything Mr Solomons-”

Alfie stood from his chair, coming off more demeaning as he towered over her.“Why do you always call me that? We’ve known each other since we were children! You never say my name!”

Izzy shrunk into her seat, hands gripping the side of the chair in fear.“I-I...You’re my boss, I-”

“That makes no difference! Oh for fucks sake, Izzy, we’re practically the same age!”

Izzy ducked her head, too scared to look at him.“I’m sorry, Mr Sol-Al-Alfie!”

Alfie realised how he looked to her, but his stubbornness got in the way. Instead of apologising like she should have, and wanted to, he kept going, somehow thinking that scaring her more would make her want to stay.

“Just do as you’re told. It’s not like anyone is going to notice you’re gone. I’m doing this for you, some fucking gratitude would be nice.”

But as soon as he saw the tears in her eyes, he hated himself. How was he supposed to know how to talk to women? Let alone comfort them! Izzy meant a dear amount to him, which is why he hated himself right now. He knew this woman for most of his life, why couldn’t he read her? Not knowing what else to say, Alfie left the shocked woman behind, heading out and past the men he put in place. They pretended they hadn’t heard any of their shouting.

Izzy didn’t move for another few minutes, scared that something else might happen. Alfie slamming the door didn’t help, causing her to flinch, a small yelp escaping her mouth. Once she was certain he was gone, the tears fell freely and silently, not wanting to make any noise, with only one thought circling her mind.

Why am I so weak?