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#why does he look like that lmaooo
sugurusfav · 1 year
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I've been giggling at this for 5 minutes now
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bluelanternof2814 · 5 months
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Planet of the Apes / Green Lantern spectrum variant covers by Felipe Massafera
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buwheal · 5 months
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Out of curiosity, you don't have any magnets nearby, do you? I've heard that those make electronics go all funky-fied :/
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yardsards · 5 months
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
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#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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themintman · 10 months
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I KNOW SOMEONE DID THIS WITH THE MAFIA BUT
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beybuniki · 5 months
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Shipping as a term is so inextricably tied to fandom activities like that’s playing with action figures to me and doesn’t rlly have to do with a general reading of a manga
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ambrosykim · 3 months
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look at my son🥹
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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rgg reddit's good sometimes, actually
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afterlife-2004 · 1 month
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liu-yu-xin · 2 years
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Have u guys seen the video of bee tee es jimin singing in the music show encore ...
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thewispsings · 2 months
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she talks, he talks | max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: max verstappen loves to talk, you love to talk. match made in heaven.
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liked by charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, and 625,048 others!
yourusername: skiing with cha except he eats shit every five minutes
view comments below!
user1: YN AND CHARLES CONTENT
user2: WE CHEERED!!
charles_leclerc: NOT every five minutes
yourusername: 🤨
charles_leclerc: like every ten minutes…
user3: i really needed some yn and charles content after that HORRIBLE triple header
user4: i need yn and charles content 24/7
user5: is this his girlfriend?
user6: ew no
user7: yn and charles have been friend since childhood. his gfs name is alexandra!!
user8: did you guys see those paparazzi pictures?? they were so funny
user9: LMAOOO YEAH yn talking her ass off while charles was just 🧍 staring dead at the camera
user10: he looked like he was trying to communicate for help with his eyes
user11: charles loves himself some yappers
alexandrasaintmleux: thank you for sending me that five minute compilation of charles eating shit
yourusername: anything for you my love <33
charles_leclerc: can you guys stop bonding over my hurt
alexandrasaintmleux: no!
carlossainz55: please send me that video
georgerussell63: me as well!!
alex_albon: me too!
maxverstappen1: ooo me too!!
landonorris: please send that video my way
oscarpiastri: me too!
lewishamilton: i would like to see that video!
charles_leclerc: you’re all sick.
user12: wait now i need that video
user13: PLS POST IT YN PLS
user14: yn and charles going on vacation alone while he has a gf is so…weird
user15: not really?
user16: his like his sister bro 💀 you’re making it weird
user17: alex is clearly ok with it so why is it weird??
user18: i’m pretty sure they were with other friends
user19: and even if they weren’t that would be okay!! because they are grown ups who can do whatever they please
user20: you know who would be great friends??
user21: max and yn
user20: you literally READ my mind
user21: it would be literally the 2 yappers against the world
user23: you guys are geniuses
user24: i can’t believe with all the races yns been to she hasn’t met max 😔
user25: they obviously know OF every other, they just havent met face to face  
user26: one photo pls just one photo of max maxplaining and yn ynplaining pls
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— yn ln has posted new pictures!
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liked by charles_leclerc, alex_albon, and 649,028 others!
yourusername: leo and his favorite aunt + his favorite max (>ᴗ•)
view comments below!
user27: OMG THEYRE FRIENDS NOW
user28: yappper mets yapper
user29: charles’s two yappers are friends
user30: his two worlds are colliding
user20: i made this happen guys
user31: no bc they definitely saw that comment and were like “yep! we’re friends now!”
charles_leclerc: you’re his only aunt
yourusername: your point?
charles_leclerc: of course you’re his favorite aunt, you have no competition
yourusername: yeah…i still don’t understand where you’re going with this
maxverstappen1: yeah charles, be more clear with your words
yourusername: he realllyyy needs to know how to communicate better 🙄
maxverstappen1: HONESTLY!! it’s soo annoying when he won’t just spit something out
yourusername: you are SO right max
user32: oh yeah, this is a good combination
user33: the yappers are yapping
user34: they just became friends and they’re already ganging up on charles 😭
user35: do you guys think she’ll go to hungary?
user36: UGH I HOPE SHE DOES
user37: okay guys listen…the last 3 gps were ASS for charles right???? and the last race yn was at was…. MONACO and who won that?? YEAH CHARLES. she’s the good look charm.
user38: you’ve literally solved the problem
user39: @/yourusername we NEED you in that garage pls yn. i can handle another horrible ferrari weekend
alex_albon: pet play date when?
yourusername: max says leo isn’t allowed to have play dates with other animals until he has a play date with jimmy snd sassy first…
alex_albon: gosh he is so possessive 🙄
maxverstappen1: sassy and jimmy need to be leo’s #1 friend. if he meets other animals then THEY WONT BE HIS #1 FRIEND. is that so hard to understand?
yourusername: makes perfect sense to me 🤷‍♀️
maxverstappen1: thank you!
charles_leclerc: you guys are aware that he’s MY dog, right?
yourusername: for now 😏
charles_leclerc: WHAT
user40: you guys are saying friends…but i smell relationship
user41: smell? you SMELL?
user42: oh that’s not…
user43: can yall just LET PEOPLE BE FRIENDS
user44: people just don’t believe in the power of friendship anymore
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liked by user45, user46, and 64,928 others!
maxverstappenupdates: yn and max caught yapping to others and EACHOTHER at the hungary grand prix today!
view comments below!
user47: fork found in kitchen
user48: clap if your surprised
user49: dead silence
user50: this is actually so cute
user51: RIGHTT?? like he talks, she listens, she talks, he listens
user52: does anyone want to role play yn and max with me
user53: ?
user54: i’ll be yn
user53: great! i’ll be max
user54: ??
user55: the first race with yn and max being friends and they’re already like this 🤞
user56: i need her in the redbull garage next
user57: it think that would cause charles to explode
user58: i’m gonna say what everyone is too scared to say…they would be a cute couple
user59: DONT LET THEM SILENCE YOU
user60: man be QUIET
user61: y’all see the opposite sex interact and don’t know how to act
user62: they’re both so expressive when they talk and it makes they’re conversations so much better
user63: i was there and i overhead part of their conversation…tell me why they were talking about which one of them could outrun a f1 car
user64: my bet is on yn
user65: nah i don’t think so, max is an athlete
user66: yeah but he’s also the type to fall on his ass 3 seconds into the run
user67: BUT SO IS YN
user68: they are literally made for each other
user69: they make it so hard to just believe there friends
user70: THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER!!!
user71: FRIENDS DO NOT LOOK AT EACHOTHER THAT WAY
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liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 652,084 others!
yourusername: skiing with someone who won’t wipe out every 10 minutes is great! (๑˃ᴗ˂) and thank you to the random person who took that amazing picture for us! <3
view comments below!
charles_leclerc: on your mind 24/7 🙄🙄
yourusername: the image of you tumbling down the mountain and taking at least 20 people with you will NEVER leave my mind
charles_leclerc: IT WAS WEEKS AGO
yourusername: I BET THE PEOPLE YOU TOOK DOWN WITH YOU STILL REMEMBER
charles_leclerc: LEAVE ME ALONE
landonorris: i’m a much better skier then that guy 😒
maxverstappen1: please tell me where she asked
landonorris: just sayinggg
user72: jealous max?
user73: IM THE ONE WHO TOOK THE PHOTO!!
user74: omg how was it??
user73: SOO CUTE!! they made a snowman and made like 20 different snow angels 😭
user74: OMG THATS SO THEM
user75: does this not look like soft launching to you?
user76: they make it so hard to keep saying their just friends…
user77: what type of friends take vacations alone together
user78: charles and yn…
user77: oh you got me there
georgerussell63: those are awesome glasses
maxverstappen1: i just threw them away
georgerussell63: why would you do that?
maxverstappen1: i tend to do the opposite of whatever you say is great
georgerussell63: okay rude.
user78: those glasses are fire 🔥
user79: why are they lighting up? and where did he get them??
user80: that first picture is absolutely gorgeous
user81: this is literally soft launching, why is nobody freaking out?
user82: what about this is soft launching? its literally just them hanging out
user83: oh to be hanging out with max making snow angels with him
user84: they would be so cute together
user85: this is a date and nobody can convince me otherwise
user86: OH BROTHERRR
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— max verstappen has posted new photos!
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liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 972,018 others!
maxverstappen1: launching us straight into the moon 🚀
view comments below!
user87: yapper and yapper together my dreams have come true
maxverstappen1: @/yourusername
yourusername: you get me 💕
user89: what did i fucking say. i want EVERYONE who told me i was crazy for saying they were together to APOLOGIZE.
user90: i’m sorry, truly
user91: yeah thats my bad, sorry!
user92: my bad 😬
user93: i still think theorizing about someone’s relationship is weird but okay!
user94: i’m sorry…
user95: y’all really had me out here defending your “friendship” 😕
user96: RIGHT! i feel so embarrassed
user97: truly a defining moment for me
user98: i really wanted a man x woman FREINDship to shove into people’s faces
user99: you always have yn and charles!
user98: it’s just not the same :(
user100: but they are really cute together
user101: yeah..they are
charles_leclerc: finally! she has someone else to talk too other then me…
yourusername: hey! i have other friends 😠
charles_leclerc: name 3
charles_leclerc: WHO ARENT RELATED TO ME OR WHO ARENT ON THE GRID
yourusername; okay frick you??
maxverstappen1: it’s okay liefde, i’ll listen to you talk forever
yourusername; thank you maxie 💕
charles_leclerc: barf
user102: does he mean soft launching??
user103: LMAOO I THINK HE DOES
user104: happy for you! (i wish that was me soo bad)
user105: i’m soooo normal about this
user106: charles two yappers have officially gotten together…i definitely saw this coming
user107: i knew it!!!
user108: yn posting cute little friendship pictures and max just full force announces their relationship
user109: ugh i love him
. . .
notes: summer school is officially over! i can now spend the rest of my summer writing ( ̄▽ ̄)
thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed :)
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shadebloopnik · 8 months
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"He asked me to join his team."
"I said no and now he's pissy, that's the tea."
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The idea of him rejecting Vox's was already hilarious, but when i realized the Vees were a polycule, it made it so much funnier-
Because like, this could go down 3 ways
1.) Alastor was being really generous here. Telling the public that he rejected Vox when Vox was in love with him would have done so much more damage. He chose not to, either bc he doesn't find it as entertaining, or bc he maybe feels a little bit of pity for the guy.
2.) Alastor knows, same as above, except he doesn't say it purely because he's so creeped out by it. He's so fcking disgusted by it, he'd rather not be reminded.
3.), The most PROBABLE one, and for me, most hilarious, is that Alastor doesn't know shit. Look, this is the guy who doesn't know his own SEXUALITY, not even when his bestie Rosie knows. He doesn't know he's ace, nor does he bother to pay attention. He probably, GENUINELY thought Vox was just offering to work together, and found it so amusing that Vox is so worked up by it. Like to him, the guy was throwing a tantrum bc he didn't join their team, how childish (what? He rejected him? Why yes, he rejected a job offer, that much was quite obvious thank you for noticing). So there's just this guy dealing with a rejection, absolutely batshit obsessed with him, and Alastor still thinks its bc of a silly lil teamup.
Edit: Confirmed they aint canon poly, which will not stop fanon lmaoooo. They're poly in my heart😔😔✨✨✨ Also the fact that they're called a Vee(a sort of poly relationship) and their vibes being a complete coincidence is hilarious to me lmao. This is another destiel situation lmaooo
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mclqren · 6 months
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CAR TALK ★ LS2
PAIRING ✦ logan sargeant x fem!youtuber!reader
SUMMARY ✦ on your youtube channel, you post q&a's in your car, and your most recent guest has people speculating about the two of you. [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
NOTES ✦ reader lives in america for the purpose of this fic. i know the car doesn't like the same in all of the pictures but that's the best i could do ahaha. the fc i've used is kiana davis, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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liked by emmachamberlain, yourbsf, and 582,899 others
yourusername first 'car talk' episode of 2024 is pending...🏎️
view all comments
user1 the weekly episodes of car talk have been severely missed this winter vacation.
user2 SO REALLL i've been needing y/n back on my screen
user3 she is actually so perfect it's scary
user4 idc we needdd a car talk x chicken shop date crossover asap
yourusername @/ameliadimz thoughts??
ameliadimz we can look into this 👀
user5 OKAY BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CAPTION?? THE RACECAR??
user6 she HASSS to be interviewing some f1 driver.
emmachamberlain YUMMYYYY
yourusername 😍😍
yourbsf MY BEST FRIENDDD!!
yourusername ALWAYSSS
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liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 552,110 others
yourusername 'car talk' ep 1 of 2024 coming this saturday 👀🏎️
view all comments
user8 IT'S DEF A F1 DRIVERRR THE SHIRT IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY
user9 oh ABSOLUTELY
user10 her facecardddd oh my gosh
user11 been missing your videos queen!
user12 okay but like which f1 driver do we think it is??
user13 crazy thing is she has like five or six of them following her/in her likes right now, so it could technically be any of them
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liked by logansargeant, alex_albon, and 622,110 others
tagged logansargeant
yourusername 'car talk' ft logan sargeant out now!! one of my favorite episodes i've filmed so far ❤️
view all comments
user18 WOWWW IT WAS LOGAN THE ENTIRE TIME??
user19 I KNOWWW
user20 yall's chemistry was through the roof. i was sweating just watching the episode
alex_albon 👀
user21 LMAOOO ALEX WHAT DO YOU KNOW
logansargeant Best driver/farm animal expert/youtuber 🙌
yourusername yessirrrr ❤️
user22 HELP NOT ALL OF Y/N'S PROFESSIONS
user23 he had to make sure he got all of them in
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liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 100,298 others
tagged yourusername
logansargeant Thanks again to the crazy lady who drove me around the city, almost killed me in the process, asked intrusive questions about my life and took me to visit a farm. Had a blast 🏆
view all comments
user24 HIM CALLING Y/N OUT FOR HER DRIVING HELPPP
user25 why do i actually kinda ship them...
user26 no ur so real for this.
yourusername you're so welcome!! ( i'm at ur door for mentioning my driving abilities )
logansargeant I'LL TAKE IT BACK SORRY
alex_albon 👀
user27 HIM COMMENTING THE SAME THING ON BOTH THEIR POSTS I'M CREASING
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liked by logansargeant, yourbsf, and 533,002 others
yourusername brb, currently escaping to dc 👋
view all comments
user29 why is she the most perfect girl everrrr
user30 LITERAL MODEL.
user31 logan has now taken his spot as permanent liker of y/n's posts
user32 is it just me who wants to see logan & y/n together again??
user33 NOT JUST YOU!!
logansargeant Maybe you should come down to Florida sometime??🙌
user34 LOGAN SHOOTING HIS SHOTTT
user35 @/user34 or they could just be friends?? 🤷‍♀️
user36 @/user35 let us be delusional please.
yourbsf photography creditsss??
yourusername yes yes all to you!
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liked by logansargeant, emmachamberlain, and 544,110 others
yourusername back on the move ✈️
view all comments
user40 RIGHT BEFORE THE SEASON STARTS ASW??
user41 i smell a bahrain visit!!
user42 okay but her hair is my most favorite thing everrr
alex_albon 👀
user43 MR ALBON BACK W THE EYESSS
user44 WHAT DOES HE KNOW.
logansargeant 🙌❤️❤️
liked by yourusername
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liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and 144,671 others
tagged yourusername
logansargeant Bahrain ✔️ Girlfriend ✔️ Mission Accomplished ✔️
view all comments
user47 "mission accomplished" THE PLAN HAS BEEN BREWINGG
user48 FINALLY MY FAVSSS
user49 crazy car guy x even crazier car lady is my new favourite trope
user50 SO REAL FOR THISSS
alex_albon already knew this'd happen 🤷‍♂️
logansargeant So you've mentioned!!
user51 he's been trying to help yall out AS HE SHOULD.
yourusername be glad i didn't kill you that time i took you driving, otherwise you never would've gotten to ask me to be your girlfriend. ❤️❤️
logansargeant Thankful every day 🙏
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liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and 655,224 others
tagged logansargeant
yourusername new car talk episode incoming this time with my BOYFRIENDDD 🥳🥳
user52 THEY'RE THE CUTESTTT
user53 she looks so happy omg
user54 if you hurt her logan we're all after you. 😁
yourbsf so im a third wheel now??
yourusername nahh he can third wheel us bbg 😉😉
lilymhe ANOTHER FEMALE IN THE WILLIAMS PADDOCK THANK YOU LORD
yourusername i'll make you my latest car talk victim 😍
lilymhe sign me upppp!!
user55 im sensing a double date car talk incoming
user56 'the eyes, chico. they never lie' @ logan in the second picture
yourusername @/logansargeant LOOLLLL WISHING I MADE THIS THE CAPTION
logansargeant My fav ex-farm employee ❤️
yourusername still prefer the sheep to you ❤️❤️
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2K notes · View notes
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ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau
description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)
a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any
a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!
requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys
masterlist
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liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others
youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie
tagged: glenpowell
view all comments
oscarpiastri: proud of you!!
↳ youruser: 🧡
glenpowell: caption is so real of you
user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?
↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that
↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said
landonorris: cute!
↳ user3: what are you doing here??
↳ user4: lando in the comments?
user5: such a good movie
user6: yn + glen = power duo
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liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others
oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies
tagged: youruser, glenpowell
view all comments
landonorris: i just laughed out loud
landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo
↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious
user8: cutest couple ever
glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!
↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara
↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him
// lando’s phone//
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//
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liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others
landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something
view all comments
oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?
↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs
↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??
↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!
↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard
user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando
↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 3,017,426 others
youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)
tagged: oscarpiastri
view all comments
user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES
↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now
user16: oscar and yn are endgame
oscarpiastri: the best company
↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either
↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar
user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!
↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!
glenpowell: miss you lady
↳ youruser: you miss my animals more
↳ glenpowell: and what about it.
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liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and 4,209,384 others
landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man
tagged: youruser
view all comments
oscarpiastri: believe me now?
↳ landonorris: never doubted you
↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol
↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time
user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?
↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL
youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!
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liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,298,361 others
oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?
tagged: youruser
view all comments
user22: sassy oscar
↳ user23: channeling his inner lando
landonorris: yes sir 🫡
↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?
youruser: MY MANNNNN
↳ user24: oh she's in deep
user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,208,763 others
youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol
tagged: oscarpiastri
view all comments
landonorris: how was i meant to know?!
↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.
glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours
↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.
↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever
↳ user27: they're in a throuple
↳ youruser: ew
↳ glenpowell: disgusting
↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh
user28: couple goals forever and ever
user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real
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corroded-hellfire · 1 month
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hi, babes! i saw that you’re open to some AYW blurbs so i wanted to shoot my shot 🥹 i am YEARNING for jealous!eddie sooooo bad so could we pretty please with cherries on top have a lil blurb about him where a different dad hits on the reader while they’re picking up the boys from school or maybe while they’re doing some kind of errands like grocery shopping or something? it could be from when they’re already dating or from when they’re just pining over each other, it’s up to you! i just want possessive!eddie to come back lmaooo thank you in advance if you choose to do this! i love youuu and the entire AYW universe ❤️
Jealous!Eddie? Possessive!Eddie? Oh, you're definitely speaking my language. As much as I love Eddie being possessive after he and Reader get together, there's something about Eddie being a total jealousy monster while they're still just pining for one another that butters my biscuit.
Words: 2.9k
Warnings: age gap, Eddie is technically married to someone else but if you know this series you know what that's all about
[As You Wish masterlist]
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The stoplight turns green, and you put pressure on the gas pedal of your gold Elantra. The car rumbles down the road as you bop your head and sing along to the radio. Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) by The Backstreet Boys is a great song, you don’t care what boy band haters say. 
It’s part of the usual routine for you to be early when arriving at Hawkins Elementary School to pick up Ryan and Luke, but since your literature class let out twenty minutes before it was supposed to, you’re extra early. You turn your car into the school’s parking lot and find a visitor spot that will allow you to easily swing into the pick-up line when the time comes. 
Car in park, you turn the volume on the radio up and tuck one leg underneath you. You’re so engrossed in the music that you have to do a double take when you see an attractive man walk past a few cars, headed toward the school.
It’s Eddie. Something is in his hand but he’s moving so briskly that it’s hard to tell what it is. Lead fills your stomach. Why is he here? What happened? Did something happen with the boys? Are they okay?
You yank the key out of the ignition mid-song and throw open the driver’s side door. 
“Hey, Eddie!” you call as you jog to catch up with him—his long legs striding further in one step than either of his sons can go in three. 
Eddie turns his head as he reaches for the handle of the door. He’s just reached the entrance, and he stops with his hand on top of the silver bar. You could almost swear his tense face eases into a smile when he sees you coming up behind him. But perhaps that’s just wishful thinking. Of course it is. What else would it be?
“What’s going on?” you ask. “Is everything okay?”
He sighs and pulls open the front door of the school, gesturing for you to step inside first. You do, and he follows in behind you. He lifts his other hand which is holding a pair of small pants.
“The school called me at work and said Luke spilled glue all over his pants, so I grabbed a pair from home for him to change into,” he explains. “I tried calling you when I got to the house, but I guess you were already on your way.”
It should probably surprise you more than it does that Luke got into such a sticky situation, but you’ve known him for long enough that this just seems par for the course.
“Oh, Luke,” you sigh as you and Eddie stride side by side down the hallway.
“He keeps life interesting,” Eddie says. He checks his watch and sees there’s less than half an hour left in the school day. He gestures toward a classroom door covered in student’s artwork. “Might as well grab Ryan from his class since it’s right here.”
You wait out in the hall as Eddie slips inside to get his oldest son.
“He did what?” you hear Ryan asking as Eddie opens the door on his way out. The little boy looks as if he’s going to say something else, but he sees you standing in the hall and immediately steps forward and wraps his arms around your waist. “Hi!”
“Hey, Ry.” You chuckle at his eagerness and ruffle his honey brown hair. “How was school?”
“Pretty good,” he says as he takes your hand. Both Munsons head down the hall, you tagging along since you don’t know the right direction to go in. “I played kickball in gym. I ran the bases so fast!”
“Nice!” You hold your free hand up for a high five, which he gladly returns.
Eddie stops in front of another classroom door and nods towards it.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” 
He slips inside and Ryan swings your joined hands between the two of you for a few moments until the door opens again and Luke waddles out in a bow-legged stance, feet slowly shuffling him along.
“What did you do?” Ryan asks with a sigh. It’s in the same exasperated tone that Luke brings out of a lot of people.
“Nothing!” his little brother defends. “The bottle was clogged so I took the lid off. Then it slipped out of my hands!”
Eddie lets out a silent chuckle as he closes the classroom door behind them. 
“I think they’re stuck to me!” Luke says.
“Okay,” Eddie says, gently taking Luke by the shoulders and leading him towards a bathroom a few doors down. “I can help get them off.”
“Can Ryan?” Luke asks, reaching for the door handle.
“Ry?” Eddie looks at his oldest son.
“Yeah, let me help.”
Ryan holds the door open and Luke crab walks his way into the single bathroom. The door clicks closed behind them and Eddie gives you an amused look. You can’t help but giggle as the two of you wait out in the hall. 
Sounds of movement come from the other side of the door, along with the murmur of Luke’s voice as he speaks to his brother. A few minutes pass before the door opens a crack and Ryan sticks his head out.
“Daddy?” he asks. “Can you get a Band-Aid from the classroom?”
“He’s bleeding?” Eddie asks, slight alarm creeping into his voice.
Ryan sighs. “Glue pulled off a scab on his knee.”
“Alright, I’ll be right back,” Eddie says. He looks at you as Ryan pulls his head back inside, and you nod, letting Eddie know you’ll be here with the boys. 
Parents begin to trickle into the hallway. It’s the kindergarten wing so it’s not unusual for guardians to be waiting right outside the classroom to pick up their kids. Luke was more capable than that, he assured when he said that he could walk to the pick-up lane outside all on his own—or sometimes with Ryan. 
“Everything okay?” a voice asks from behind you.
“Oh!” You’re slightly startled as you spin around to see a man standing near you. 
A smile quirks up on one side of his mouth when he sees he surprised you. His smile is nice, you notice. In fact, all of his face is nice. He’s around Eddie’s age and height, with short black hair and piercing green eyes. Very attractive. 
“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” you say with a wave of your hand. “Um, yeah, everything is okay. Just a glue incident.”
“Been there,” the man says with a gruff laugh. “Nail polish remover.”
“I’m sorry?” you ask.
“Nail polish remover will get the glue off of clothes,” he clarifies. “Just in case you or your husband didn’t know that.”
His words fluster you. Had he seen Eddie and just assumed he was your husband? Or was he just assuming in general? Either way, it takes a moment for you to compose yourself. 
Part of you doesn’t want to correct him. But it’s possible the boys can hear this conversation through the wood of the door. Also, what if the man says something similar after Eddie comes back? Eddie would obviously refute, and you’d be mortified all the way around. 
“Oh, uh, he’s um, he’s not my husband. He’s their dad. I’m the babysitter.”
“Ah, my mistake. Sorry.” He doesn’t look the least bit sorry though. “I should’ve guessed. You’re far too young to be their mom.”
He must’ve seen Eddie and at least Ryan, then. 
Again, you’re flustered. He’s clearly flirting with you, so why does part of you want Eddie to hurry up and come back? This man is handsome and charming and neither of you are doing anything wrong by having this conversation with one another. There’s not a ring on his finger either, you notice. 
You still haven’t responded though.
“You have a beautiful smile,” he says.
You hadn’t even realized you were smiling. 
“Thank you,” you say, your smile turning shy.  
The man takes a step closer to you and tilts his head to the side.
“Do you come by here every day? Or is it just my lucky day?”
Behind you, Eddie comes back with a Band-Aid in his hand. He hears the man’s question and immediately his hackles go up. His back straightens and his jaw sets as he purposely squeaks one of his black boots against the tile floor. 
The sound has the intended effect, and you spin around in his direction. Why do you feel as though you’ve been caught doing something wrong? An image of Brittany’s beautiful, cold face flashes in your mind and the trace of guilt disappears.
“You got it?” you ask Eddie.
“Yep,” he states curtly. 
He brandished the Band-Aid, realizing he had crumpled it in his fist in his irritation. He knocks on the bathroom door. “It’s me. Here’s the Band-Aid.”
Ryan opens it a crack and sticks his hand out. Eddie lays it in his palm as you hear a footstep right behind you.
Spinning back, you see that the handsome man is closer to you now. Eddie is not happy. But neither you nor the man notice. 
“I feel like I would’ve noticed you here before,” the man says to you.
“I’m usually in the carpool,” you explain. 
“See, I knew I would have recognized you,” he says with a bright smile. “You’re very pretty.”
Your face immediately fills with heat. So does Eddie’s, but for another reason entirely. 
“Thank you,” you say.
A fist banging on the door behind you startles you, and you spin around to see Eddie pounding on the wood.
“How’s it going?” Eddie asks loudly. 
“Good!” Luke calls back. “I’m almost all the way unstuck!” 
Eddie takes a breath and turns towards you.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to stay here through this.”
Though he didn’t consciously intend it, there’s possessiveness in the pet name. It’s not uncommon for him to call you “sweetheart,” but this time there’s a harshness in his tone that whispers he’s staking his claim on you.
This may be the only time Eddie has ever wanted you to go away from him. And it’s not because of him, but because of the flirtatious father that is not him. The father who can’t leave with you because he’s still waiting for his kid.
“Oh no, I’m fine,” you assure Eddie. “I can take the boys back home and you can go back to work.”
Eddie waves a hand dismissively.
“Nah, I already took the rest of the day off.” 
The stranger behind you opens his mouth to speak, so Eddie makes sure to beat him to it.
“What do you say we go get some food once Situation Sticky Pants is solved?” Eddie asks. “The gremlins are always hungry.”
“If I had a nickel for every time Luke climbed into my car and immediately brought up food, I’d be able to buy this school,” you say with a fond smile. 
Eddie’s responding chuckle makes your heart leap into your throat. You’re so ensnared by the man you’re so infatuated with that you almost miss his eldest son calling your name through the bathroom door.
Quickly, you shake it off and press your ear up against the smooth wood.
“Yeah, Ry?”
While your focus is on the boy talking to you from inside the bathroom, Eddie looks at the man behind you, steel in his deep brown eyes. The man doesn’t react or respond one way or the other. It irritates Eddie even further. 
“What was the name of that movie we watched yesterday?” Ryan asks you.
“Flubber?”
“That’s it!” you hear Luke say.
“Okay, thank you!” Ryan adds. 
You pull away from the door with a soft chuckle.
“I really hope whatever conversation they’re having about that movie has nothing to do with getting Luke’s pants unstuck,” Eddie says. 
You lean back against the cool, white brick wall next to the bathroom door and the man sidles up closer to you. Eddie doesn’t have the chance to intervene before he speaks this time.
“I know it’s a shot in the dark,” the man says to you, “but would you want to get dinner sometime?”
You’re stunned speechless. Sure, he had been flirting with you, but you assumed that’s all it was. Just some innocent, fun flirting. A date could also be some innocent fun, you tell yourself. And this man has been nothing but kind and respectful towards you. But…it doesn’t feel right. It’s hard to parse out if it feels wrong accepting another man’s advances in front of Eddie because of how you feel for your boss, or you just don’t want to go out with the guy, as nice as he seems. Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean you owe him anything. Regardless, you feel a sense of relief when you decide to decline his offer.
What you don’t know is that Eddie is ready to combust behind you. Waiting for you to answer the question is pure agony for him. He’s pretty sure he’ll burst into flames if you keep him in suspense any longer.
“Oh, that’s very sweet of you,” you say. 
Eddie’s heart seizes in his chest. He leans his shoulder against the wall, hoping it will help keep him propped up. 
“But…” you continue, and Eddie’s heart starts beating again, even if it’s at an erratic rhythm. 
“I actually have a boyfriend though,” you finish. 
Eddie feels sick. He half thinks he’ll have to barge in on the boys in the bathroom and empty his stomach into the toilet.
The man gives you a sad smile and nods his head.
“He’s a lucky guy.”
You offer him a small smile just as the bathroom door bangs open and the boys step out—Luke clad in his glue-free jeans.
“How we doing?” you ask them.
“Good!” Luke grins and gives you two thumbs up. His previous pair of jeans are slung over his shoulder. Eddie slips them off and rolls them up into a ball. 
“We ready to go?” Eddie asks.
Luke nods his head enthusiastically and slips his smaller hand into yours. He begins to pull you in the direction of the school’s exit. You turn your head as you’re pulled away and give the man a small smile.
“Have a nice day,” you wish him.
“You as well,” he replies. 
Once your gang makes it into the parking lot, the boys start bickering about whose car they want to ride in. They come up with Rock, Paper, Scissors as a way to decide.
While they play that, Eddie turns to you. 
“Boyfriend, huh?” he asks. It takes a Herculean amount of effort to keep bitterness from coating those words. 
Eddie knows he has no right to ask you about this and it’s completely inappropriate. Yet, he can’t stop himself from asking. 
“Hmm?” you question. As soon as his question registers in your brain, adrenaline pumps through your body, eager to let Eddie know that you’re very available—even if it doesn’t make a difference one way or the other. “Oh! No, no, I don’t have a boyfriend. My best friend taught me to use that excuse when I don’t want to accept. It’s a no, but the guy won’t get all bent out of shape or start harassing me because it doesn’t really hurt his pride.”
“Wow,” Eddie says, blowing out a breath. He’s immensely relieved that you’re single, but also annoyed that you’ve had to employ this trick for your safety. ‘I am so sorry that you have to do that. A ‘no’ should be enough.”
“Should be.” You agree with a shrug. “But it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
“Scissors!” Luke exclaims before he turns in your direction. “We’re riding with you!”
“Want to meet at the diner on Essex?” Eddie asks.
“Sure!”
Eddie ushers the boys into the back of your car and makes sure they’re buckled in before walking across the parking lot to his own truck. As he slips into the driver’s seat and turns the key in the ignition, Eddie replays the last fifteen minutes in his head. 
“She said no to that guy,” Eddie muses out loud to himself as he navigates through the traffic that’s collected in front of the school. “She said no to that guy because she has a boyfriend. But she doesn’t have a boyfriend.”
A large sigh of relief spills from his lips. The mere thought of you having a boyfriend created a multitude of knots in Eddie’s stomach. He can’t even bear to think about how much of a hypocrite it all makes him. 
“But…” Eddie continues to himself, a new sickening thought taking root. “Oh, fuck. What if she didn’t want to date that douche because he’s older than her. My fucking age.”
The thought disheartens him even more than the idea of you having a boyfriend does. He reaches up and rubs his calloused hands over his face as he rolls up to a red light. 
“Jesus Christ, Munson,” he groans. “You’re sitting here, talking to yourself about whether or not she has a boyfriend, or if there’s a possibility she could be into someone older. You’re fucking married, douchebag. It shouldn’t matter one way or the other if she's with someone or not. Or who she might want to date or not.”
The light turns green, and Eddie lets his foot rest heavy against the gas.
Maybe none of this should matter to Eddie. But it sure as hell does.
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toji-sweetheart · 3 months
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threesome with the pretty boys suguru & satoru (*^‿^*)
18+ only content - mdni
I've been thinking about this for such a long time and thought why not do it now with this lmaooo also I stopped this at 1.4k because I could've easily made this a 3k thingy lmaoo so maybe a part two?
tags: fem reader + explicit smut + alcohol but no one is under the influence + mmf threesome + satosugu + they're taller than you
"Her?" Satoru whispered in his husband's ear, his tongue flicking out to tease the lobe with a deep chuckle watching as obsidian eyes followed ocean-blue ones to see a group of women in the corner.
Suguru cocked an eyebrow and looked at Satoru. "The woman who is getting married tomorrow?" He asked nodding toward the sign that the white-haired man obviously missed who was intent on the mission to find someone for a wild night of fun.
Satoru's face deflated as he took a swig of his drink sweeping his eyes around the bar, there were a few contenders but when their boyfriend or husband came up it was a no-go until they saw you.
All alone while nursing a drink.
They both watched for a few moments trying to gather intel hoping that no one would bother you, when it was clear you didn't have a man or woman waiting Satoru was the first off his stool.
It was something they both talked about before.
They wanted something new, and fun, and it wasn't that their sex life was boring or anything, it was quite the opposite but lately they've both been wanting to feel and touch a real soft wet cunt, the porn videos nor did the fleshlight they took turns using did its job.
The smell of gyrating bodies wafted around you as you pressed yourself tighter against the bar edge hoping that no one would say anything about why you were alone, after a long day of work all you wanted was one drink before going home to take a bath.
However, it seemed that a few people weren't aware of how they were close to you when you backed up a bit to draw in a deep breath to steady your nerves from how your manager berated you earlier.
It was still fresh in your mind.
Your heels caught a crack in the floor and you were falling before you even knew it and braced yourself to land flat on your ass but instead, you were caught mid-air by a pair of strong arms that steadied you on your feet. "I know it's not hard to fall for me, but you should be more careful next time." A smooth voice came from above you.
Seeing a pair of eyes shining like neon lights inviting you in was stunning, to say the least. "Thank you, the crack in the floor got the best of me and I haven't even really drank my wine." You murmured.
His smile was easy-going and natural as he leaned against the bar. "When I see a pretty woman about to fall it's only the right thing to help her." He replied smoothly with a wink before ordering a drink.
Suguru slid up next to you completing the trio.
"My husband forgets that not everyone falls for him." He teased staring at the other man as your eyes shifted between the both of them while moving your weight on each foot nervously.
The last thing you wanted was to become between spouses and have to deal with that. "Oh, I fell before I even met him, don't worry."
Suguru took a sip from his drink and chuckled. "He does have that effect on people. We noticed that you were alone and wanted to come by and say hi, you looked a bit nervous." He noted with a head tilt as his eyes gazed down at you putting you at ease.
You weren't sure how long the three of you sat there at the bar talking while you sat perched between each man, Suguru was the touchy one, his hand on your knee and Satoru was the chatty one.
They both made you laugh and when they spoke your name it made you melt, and despite not wanting any company tonight you were sure glad they came over and Satoru caught you when he did.
"Work was hell, it always is really. My boss has a stick up her ass about everything and anything, it's annoying but it pays my bills and more, I get to travel the world so I suppose it's not that bad."
They listened intently while sharing silent looks having a private conversation without talking. "Where's the best place you visited?" Suguru asked curious about what your answer was.
"My bed." You replied with a soft giggle.
"How about you come and visit ours?" Satoru piped up with a smile as his hand rested on your other knee causing goosebumps to rise all along your arms and legs which only lit a fire deep in your belly.
Being caught between two sexy-as-sin men was not at the top of your list for tonight but it would be fun to let go and do something you've never thought you would do. "I think I'd like that, Toru."
"A nickname already?" He cooed, his cheeks tinting a cute pale pink as he glanced at Suguru who took your purse and hand as he led you out to their car helping you in the front seat while he took the driver.
Satoru leaned back spreading his long legs and feeling his cock twitch as your sweet perfume filled the cabin, cherries.
The car ride was silent, filled with tension as you wondered for a moment if this was a good idea, going home with two men you just met before but it was something your friends had told you to do.
"Go and get laid! You need a night for you!" They all told you in the breakroom gushing about their own sex stories after getting you to agree with a nod even though you hated the idea at first.
They both set the perfect trap to get you in their bed, with Suguru's soft kisses on your hand and Satoru's smooth teasing you were a puddle of goo even before they got you inside their house.
Pressed between the both of them, Satoru curled his long slender fingers around the bottom hem of your dress before tugging it slowly off your body. "You're so adorable when you look like that," Suguru murmured dipping his head down to press his lips against your ear.
"Like what?" Your voice trembled as you fisted his shirt sighing softly when Satoru trailed his fingers over the curve of your ass while his husband slipped his palm between your legs to cup your pussy.
"Like a lamb caught between two wolves." Suguru purred his mouth coming down to taste yours, his tongue licked into yours with expert strokes that had you weak in the knees as Satoru traced your curves.
Suguru's words made your bones rattle with a deep need to find out what more they can do to help you forget everything you need.
With your dress unzipped and pooled around your ankles, Satoru crouched behind you to nuzzle his face against your ass before biting the lace of your panties to tug them down to join your dress.
Neither man could care less to move from their spot as all three of you tangled together on the floor, both of them still dressed while you sat in Suguru's lap with your legs over his so he could keep them spread for his husband who lapped at your pussy softly.
Satoru wanted to taste you when he first saw you and his curiosity got the best of him with you presented like this in front of his face, it was an opportunity he couldn't turn down and when you moaned his name while watching him with Suguru his cock leaked more.
The front of his boxers was a mess as he splayed you open to kiss each inch of your slick pussy, the clear sap was sweet and Gojo grew drunk on the taste, like a sweet wine that made his head fuzzy.
"How does she taste?" Suguru rasped threading his fingers through his hair to tug him up before kissing him deeply, their tongues tangled together in an erotic show that you got a front seat to.
You whined wanting Satoru to go back down on you, your orgasm wasn't far away, and watching them make out only stoked that fire between your legs. "Please!" You begged looking at them.
Satoru chuckled and nipped his husband's bottom lip before kissing his way down your chest making sure to capture a nipple in his warm mouth until he reached your pussy that ached.
He thrust two fingers inside your silken walls feeling you clench tightly around him when his tongue swirled against the swollen bud that made your thighs tense and shiver. "Right there!" You moaned bucking your hips as Suguru tweaked your nipples.
Your climax hit you like fireworks.
It wasn't one that you gave yourself, instead, it was in the hands of another who knew all the right spots to stroke. Turns out all the videos and scouring the internet weren't for anything.
feedback such as comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, those kind words mean a lot and encourage me to do more writing ♡
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