#why does he look like a silver fox lesbian

[eggs-can-draw]

BOOM POW MOTHER FUCKERS

Jokah

Leader of the thieves! Embodies their entire “Thing”

Black main with red and white accents

No notes! He’s perfect. He’s a perfect little thief boy.

Some stars would be cool tho,,, (Guy who said no notes and immediately makes a note)

Slapping this here cause it's a detail a lotta people forget when drawing him HIS PANTS ARE BAGGY AT THE TOP!! They like. Pumpkin out. INCREDIBLY SHAPED I absolutely adore it and how they use it in official art and stuff. They look so comfy I want a pair

Skull

Ryuji!! “Charge Commander” Whatever that is. Joker’s right hand man!! (according to google it means he’s the guy who actually Finds the missions and that makes sense. He does that.)

Black main with yellow and red (also some silver/metal accs)

Pirate Boy

Poifect!!

Ok a bit more his fit compliments joker while also doing his own thing so NICELY this is a solid win for pegoryu but also it makes me so mad that Ann doesn't match them that well. Joker and Ryuji look like they were made to be put next to each other and I love it. 

The yellow is spaced out while still feeling like His color so so so well I love him…AND THE RED!!! Ketchup and mustard looking boy he’s incredible

The kneepads are a reference to his knee injury. I can't be crazy. Guys. guys I can't be.

The only thing I’d want is a little more asymmetry but I think I just like asymmetry

Panther

Femme Fatale ok she's a femme fatale she she's SHE’S A FEMME LESBIAN FEMME FATALE–

FIRE TRUCK RED with some dark reds and pink

Oh god where did we go so wrong

Zipper and leather motif? We COULD cook w/ that instead of sexualizing the grooming victim guys. Just sayin.

I think she should have some visual ties with mona,,, since they’re both cats,,,,,just sayin

The cooch zipper evokes physical pain. But I like the tail. The tail is cute. I like how it’s like. Alive.

I think her mask should make the cat ears hair accessories and go under her bangs instead of giving her a 5-head. Just me tho.

Rest under the cut!!!

Fox

He make a the calling cards that's what he does

Dark blues and blacks with some whites and reds (also a little bit of dark gold accs)

Visually, he’s like if whatever Akechi had going on was in one design. And was good.

Traditional Japanese culture (is that what I should call it? He probably draws from a specific era but I unno what) vibe!! And he kills!! I love him!!

Very top heavy, but it's balanced out with his tail, he’s perfect.

Queen

She’s the getaway driver!!! That's why her third awakening is a car!! Also team strategist but also getaway driver!!

Blacks and grays and dark blues and a smattering of white but honestly. It all kinda melds together I don't like it

Bad and stinky I hate this outfit. The spikes are cool though. Istg she’s meant to have a like. 80s biker theme. Also her codename is a reference to Queen the band I can’t be crazy

BAD but they fumbled with Makoto a lot imo

I promise I like Makoto. I just have Issues with her fit. I’ve SEEN her serve (P5D) I know she can

Oracle

Little sister!! She’s the guy in the chair because if anything bad happened to her I’d fuckin hurt someone also cause she’s a smartie pants

Blacks and greeeeens and a smidge of red to help her hair not feel out of place (also some metalwork like Ryuji)

So I’m kinda conflicted on this fit. I REALLY like her whole vibe, she’s like if the song She Came From Outer Space from ahit was a fit,  but i don't like how form fitting it feels. I think it should feel a bit more. comfortable.

Very bottom heavy!! Her outfit proportions feel like a splatoon character. Also a very techwear cyberpunk vibe, I love her!!

Necronomicon shouldn't have had tentacles now Maruki steps on her toes, imo Necronomicon shoulda had a like. Tractor beam. So she can pick up innocent cows. Don't ask me how this connects to her design, it just does. Top ten things that should be changed when 5 gets the reload treatment.

I NEED her to have a little cow charm somewhere it’s a physical need. She's an alien. I lived in alien country. I'm a professional. ALSO THE BIG CLUNKY CROCS ARE SO PERFECT!!!! and the way they hook into her pants AGH

Noir

MY WIFE!! Her arc is when the thieves begin to get kinda big heads and all cocky, so she’s a more classic gentleman thief to  show how she thematically pulls them back to earth! Also she’s the best party member. She deal the big number. I love her. 

Mainly pinks and purples, with a tasteful amount of black! I love her so so much

The pumpkin pants were INSPIRED. She looks so cute and full of whimsy ALSO THE BIGASS FEATHER!! It makes her feel so PERFECT when put next to Mona they mesh so well.

Tails I miss my wife. I miss my wife tails.

Crow (Robin)

Perfect prince boy Goro Akechi ~✰ he’s their enemy, the detective hunting them down (the Ganymede to Joker’s Arsene, if you will)

The better of his two persona fits, let's be real. Be honest with me. Look me in my eyes. Despite the bar being in hell tho, this outfit is really good!! I love all the A’s in it, it really makes me sad! The way his pants are shaped and sit on him scratches my brain just right. He looks like he has a stick up his ass and genuine morals (which he does!! Robin is just as much his persona as Loki!! In this essay I will–!!)

White to contrast all the black of the thieves, but red to tie him back in with them!! Also some gold accs to keep the visual warmth wowie

Some better shoes could do him well methinks, also further the bird motif let that be his unifying thing since he keeps the codename with the black mask fit

Violet

She NEEDS two fits ok. She’s the Sumi no idea what her job is. She can do some cool flips and teaches joker to do some cool flips. Visually, her design is DEFINITELY copycatting on joker which is so fuckin cool cause like. Yeah. yeah ofc she copies her older sibling/mentor figure. I wonder if she’s ever done that before huh. It SUCKS too tho cause she doesn't match Cendrillon which is sick and twisted. Second fit when she truly awakens as Sumire that matches Cendrillon is the better timeline.

Black with reds and a bit of gold detailing. ALSO SILVER ACCS!! Also lotsa bows! Cause she’s a copycat! We could take this further. 

She has the whole gymnast vibe but I’ll be real the way it’s executed just feels a little………..gross. She’s like 16 guys wtf. Cover her up a smidge more.

The silver chain belt thing for her sword was inspired. Also her roses.

Crow (Loki)

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. WHAT DO I SAY.

LOOK IN THAT FIT’S EYES AND TELL ME THERE IS A GOD.

Fuck gamers I like to think metaverse outfits change as the persona user grows up and their spark of rebellion grows and changes but this fit feels like DIRECT evidence to the contrary. I can see perfectly clearly a 15 y/o akechi wearing this and feeling  SOOOO COOL AND EDGY. and just continues to think it’s sooooo cool and edgy as he grows up only to be made fun of by the thieves (But who knows, maybe this outfit is the exception)

I like the belts. But I’m also a chronic belt adder. I like a good smattering of belts.

The cape feels like a fun callback to his Prince Cape so uhm. Points there

The buttons across the front are so fuckign silly to me. Bro is wearing his evil onesie. His nefarious pajamas.

Bro NEEDS some big chunky boots or SOMETHING his limbs don't feel right

The helmet is perfect with no notes. Zero. I only wish they kept the red tips on his Bird horn things he had in his engine room sprites. I really liked those…

The stripes are silly heehee nice tie to Loki

Don't talk to me about the toes. Dont. 

Mona

Mah fuckin cat

Black with yellow and white (also some blue)

Anime cat thief jesus if perfect what can I say. I can say I love him. Only three people out here defending Mona and it’s me, Haru, and Joker

gamers i just spent the past 3 hours analyzing the phantom thieves' designs do i post it

[sunnytastic]

WHY DO THEY DRESS GLENN IN THOSE COLORS😭 that tiktok lady who does color theory w skin tone and hair and shit needs to be hired. usually i find that stuff bullshit- but- but!! glenn is a very attractive man and i acc love his grey hair. think he could be the salt and pepper man of my dreams (i'm a lesbian) if they dressed him right. imagine a green, turtleneck polo w the sleeves rolled up and a suave brown watch. maybe some asshole glasses here and there. he's literally dressed like poop. and i'm surprised glenn hasn't said anything bc i feel like glenn would recognize that dennis' style is trash, and that this just doesn't fit his character. dee dressed like an age appropriate baddie, why can't he??

side note: i've now decided that a fantastic s16 plot point would be dennis needing reading glasses, but refusing to wear them bc he has to accept that he's aging// the vitruvian era is coming to an end.

i need sexy academia dennis. the world needs it. the end.

i see your vision anon and i like it. college professor vibes would be such a good look for dennis. would definitely bring out the silver fox in him

[alatismeni-theitsa]

anti LO anon opinions!

(1) On instagram called oldloreolympus someone post smythe old art (some not so old bc some are older but wete draw after lo featured) and today i saw there one picesą that i  saw on sythe twitter around year ago and on this art was hades dancing with perephone but it looked really creepy bc she was even smaller than in a comic, her head was on hades chest lenght and her leges were above his knees! They looked like father dancing with his daughter

(2) I'm going to be furious if Hyacinthus is introduced in LO. Do you know how wildly tone deaf and offensive it'd be that the ONLY canon LGBT+ rep in that whole painfully heterosexual comic is from a literal RAPIST and his lover who dies in a graphic way? Unless we're counting the Virgins as hypocritical, regressed lesbians who make out off screen, but i'd rather not.

(3) LO has good seeds of ideas but once Smythe actually has to write them, she fumbles them completely. Persephone has nightmares about what is implied deep set trauma via her mother? Turns out it was just them having an argument about her going to college and that's it. There's a huge build up to why her name changed? It's via Persephone being an unhinged monster over that same argument. There's a huge build up over tapes? It turns out it was Hades being horny over a naked, barely 18 year old. Ugh!

(4) I really don't get the pairings in LO. The more I look at the ships (like mainly Hades/Persephone) the less I like them and see how severely problematic and toxic it is. Hades behaves more like a fatherly figure to Persephone than a boyfriend, she even looks like his mother. (did you know that back before LO was featured, Rachel replied in an Q+A on her deleted tumblr that Hades is supposed to be late 40s to early 50s??) that's disgusting and wrong in many levels

(5) So recently there is a trend in the LO fandom of drawing genderbend LO Characters. somehow this does NOT make Hades/Persephone genderbend make it seem any better. fem Hades is drawn to be very beautiful in a silver fox kinda way while Male Persephone is so young, it makes their relationship seem like a sugar mama and her sugar baby (which is basically the plot if LO at this point)

(6) Remember when/once Hades hears from Hecate that Persephone is far too young for him and he did try to distance himself and keep a respectable distance and set boundaries not to lust for a child? Yeah that boundaries point worked out SO well up til he starts pining for her the next time they meet. I would've prefer it if the timeline took longer for them to fall in love and Hades still maintaining boundaries while getting to know her better as friends.

[pocket-dust-starr]

Watching Barbie in the Nutcracker for the first time in 13 years

Very nostalgic!!

Why do I feel like I've never seen Barbie with a brother and why is he such a little bitch

Aunt Drosselmayer gives me big lesbian aunt vibes

Grandfather Drosselmayer shut up challenge

I'd die for the nutcracker,,, ngl he do be looking kinda cute tho

The rat king is voiced by Nigel thornberry omg

Alice in wonderland walked so this could run

This chick really saw nutcracker man fight off an army of rats, gets shrunk to his size and thought might as well go on an adventure aye? Honestly same

You can just tell this is EARLY 2000s just by the lack of background animation and scenery

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT IS THAT MEANT TO BE A BAT WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT WHAT

Pretty sure this rat king haunted my dreams cos I can still remember his lines and voice 👀

Nutcrackers a silver fox lmao OH IS HE PRINCE ERIC

Omg this guy has a rainbow feather we love representation HIS NAME IS CAPTAIN CANDY LOVE THAT he's so short

Wow he nearly died

I'm going to throw hands with major mint

OOOOO THE FAIRIES SHIP THEM OOO

SHES BEEN HERE TWO DAYS AND ALREADY DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE, still honestly me

"I believe the nutcracker should lead us" "but he's made of wood" WOOD RIGHTS BITCH

LMAO WHY DID CANDY COVER HIS EYES WHEN THEY HUGGED

Mouse king be throwing bars got damn

OOO OHH OH ITS LIKE SHREK OMG

:( why did they get rid of his beard and stache when he went back to being a prince that's not fair :(

I liked him better as wood

Oh? Candy and Mint= possible enemies to lovers trope? Hmmmmm

WHAT IS THIS, INFINTY WAR???

Anyways,,,, Shakespeare could never

[words-writ-in-starlight]

also if you wish to share your Thoughts about any and/or all of the tres horny boys...

MY B O Y S.  I love them so much you guys.  So much.

Send me a character and I’ll write 10 headcanons for them!

Merle is a hit in most places they go–he’s irritable and rude and has a weird plant Thing and Taako and Magnus can’t really see why everyone seems to think he’s some kind of late-middle-age dwarven silver fox.  It gets even weirder when they’re wandering around Goldcliff and someone sidles up to Magnus to ask if Merle’s single and Magnus yells without thinking “GROSS THAT’S MY DAD” and Taako whips around and doesn’t even question what’s going on before he launches into a rant about it.  It all makes so much more sense once they get their memories back.  

On the one hand, I like the headcanon I’ve seen that Magnus is either illiterate or just very bad at reading and writing, but come on, y’all, he was part of Fantasy NASA too.  I propose Magnus Burnsides who everyone assumes to be illiterate, the standard muscleheaded tank, resulting in kind of an awkward moment when the Director doesn’t hesitate to order the three of them to read up on the Relics.  Merle’s the one who blurts it out, can Magnus even read, and Magnus is good-natured about it, of course I can read, Merle, what the fuck, but it’s a confusion that happens again.  And again.  And again.  

(It makes Lucretia remember the way Magnus read up obsessively on the engineering functions of the Starblaster and all the mechanics he needed to get there and the way he was second only to Davenport in understanding the ship, and she hates herself for taking that from him.)

Taako’s the one to kill Governor Kalen, eventually.  He and Merle hear word of him off in a town near Goldcliff and Merle plays lookout while Taako levitates himself right through the goddamn unlocked fourth-floor window.  Guards can kiss Taako’s fine, fine ass.  Guards ain’t shit.  Taako does it without magic, because he thinks that’s how Magnus would do it–with a knife, which is maybe not how Magnus would do it, but not with magic.  Kalen is asleep, and Taako shakes him awake first because he made a fucking promise, and he’s a little surprised by how normal and almost harmless the man looks, blinking up at him in surprise.  And then Taako says, “This is for Julia” and casts Silence with one hand while he brings the hand with the knife down on Kalen’s throat.  It’ll be morning by the time the guards show up, because an orc and a dragonborn are inexplicably rumbling with the local dryad demigoddesses in the town square and taking up everyone’s attention.  Taako and Merle corner Magnus and Taako says, you need to trust us, you’ll understand someday, but we swore we would do a thing for you and we did the thing and you can’t know what it is but it’s done and we did it just like you asked us to so THERE.  Because Taako still doesn’t really like the whole feelings bit.

All efforts to get Taako to train in the Icosagon are pretty much abject failures.  Magnus spends 90% of his free time there, and even Merle will swing a warhammer around once or twice a week if someone bothers him into it, but the closest Taako will come is sitting on Magnus’ back while he does pushups and Taako talks shit.  Look at him, Magnus.  Look.  Does Taako look like the kind of elf who runs around doing fucking jumping jacks and suicide runs.  No.  No he does not.  Remember it, Magnus, or he’ll burn a spell slot on your ass.  Do twenty more pushups, Magnus, for your FUCKING SINS.

One time Magnus thought it would be a nice sentiment to get Merle a houseplant, because their dorms could use a little life.  He buys some nice amaryllis (according to the elf who sold him the thing) and ties a bow around it and gives it to Merle.  It lasts three days before Taako reaches his threshold for Merle’s plant Thing and incinerates it–to put both the plant and the rest of the Reclaimers out of their collective misery.

After the whole debacle with the three of them showing up for a mission briefing in their pajamas with 90% of Merle’s ass hanging out and Magnus electing to actually change clothes mid-briefing, they start a private bet to see who can ruffle the Director.  They know that she can be unprofessional (”hot diggity shit, Taako, she said hot diggity shit” Magnus hisses under his breath), but the first person to make her actually yell at them for their shenanigans wins everyone’s Fantasy Gochapon tokens at the end of the next mission.

Naturally this is unsuccessful, because, over the course of a  century, Lucretia completely lost the ability to be more than mildly surprised by anything the three of them can pull.  She’s perfected the art of being unimpressed with them.  Merle one time sprinted into the cafeteria buck-ass nude on a dare and Lucretia stared at him with the expression of someone who puts up with the insufferable, year after thankless fucking year, and dares him to top that shit.

The three of them act like they have literally never heard the words ‘personal space’ or ‘privacy’ in their entire goddamn lives.  Even Taako, who’s prickly with everyone he meets, is physically all over Magnus and Merle at all times without regard for any sort of personal bubble.  Taako can’t see over the crowd?  Magnus has got that shit, pop that elf on his fucking shoulders like it’s the most normal thing in the world.  Magnus not sure what to do re: looking presentable?  That’s fine, Merle and Taako know every detail of every item of clothing he owns and their Unique fashion senses basically cancel out until Magnus looks normal.  Merle not moving fast enough?  Taako doesn’t have time for ‘permission,’ cast Featherfall and let Magnus sprint down the street with Merle under one arm and Taako under the other like a Fantasy Quarterback.  Merle naps on Magnus’ floor.  Taako wanders around in Magnus’ clothing.  Merle braids Taako’s hair.  Fucking status quo, my dude, this is How It Is.  None of them even notice, at first, it’s just…normal.  It’s like they’ve been living right on top of each other for a hundred years.  (Ha.)

All three of them have nightmares.  Magnus’ are always about Ravensroost, pulling the bodies out of the wreckage, looking, searching for something he doesn’t want to find, until his hands are bloody to the elbows and he’s crying and–the blood was dry, by the time he got there, but it’s always fresh and red and awful in his dreams.  Taako’s are usually about Glamour Springs, his body as useless as a mannequin, his mouth unmoving while he screams no, no, please, no, it’s poison, but sometimes it’s just loneliness and someone who isn’t there and he doesn’t understand why those are the ones that make him sob when he wakes up.  Merle’s are fewer and farther between, and he never remembers anything about them, he just remembers darkness and sunset and the knowledge that he’s going to die, and die, and die, and it will never do anything to help anyone.  There are a lot of three-in-the-morning insomnia nights in the kitchen, is the point here.  Sometimes if Taako can bring himself to do it, he makes hot chocolate and mutters something halfhearted about none of that powdered shit, milk in a pan or death, because Taako will stuff his face with junk food until he’s dead but he will never half-ass hot chocolate.  It’s more reassuring than almost anything else, listening to Taako mutter and bang around in the kitchen while Merle and Magnus sit there silently and recover.  On the other side of the base, they don’t know it, but Lucretia is doing the same thing, with chamomile tea from a recipe that Lup taught her.

All three of them would literally rather die than admit it, but there’s real-facts combat about what happens to Angus after everything.  Obviously he can’t go home, kid’s grandfather kicked it and his parents sent him off to live with his grandfather, so the battle royale comes down to this: who gets to keep the boychik.  After the dust settles, it turns out that actually Angus has a scholarship to go study some fucking Fantasy Forensics shit and the agreement comes down that he’ll stay with Magnus on breaks, because Magnus is closest, and that Taako has visiting/teaching rights whenever Taako wants because Taako says so, and Merle has permission to come up with bullshit excuses to be around at the same time as the kid sometimes.  Obviously Taako is a package deal with Kravitz, who Angus likes perfectly fine now that he knows Kravitz isn’t in the market for any Reclaimer souls, and also with Lup, who comes fully equipped with a Barry, and Lucretia comes to sit with Magnus and drink and pet his dogs sometimes, and Davenport comes to see her from time to time, so basically the battle royale was pointless and Angus upgrades from being mostly alone in the world to having eight parents plus his lesbian aunties who like to teach him to shoot stuff.

After Refuge, Magnus and Taako and Merle all get fucking blasted together.  It’s not celebratory.  It’s sitting on the floor with bottles of hard liquor because they’re too tired to sleep and they feel like death and it’s only two in the afternoon, they’ve literally only been back for an hour and a half.  Taako tells the story of what the Chalice showed him almost offhandedly, like it’s a good joke, hey, Taako’s riding high, totally innocent, my dudes, but then he takes a slug of Fantasy Tequila like it’s his fucking job and sits there staring at the bottle for a good few minutes before he says anything else.  Magnus is halfway through his bottle of Fantasy Gin before he slowly, so slowly, like every word costs him, tells them about what happened to Ravensroost, and about Julia, and the two of them sit and listen silently in what might be the only moment of tact that the world will ever see from them.  Merle’s mostly drinking in solidarity, here, and so he’s the one who muscles Taako into the nearest bedroom (Merle’s, in fact) when the elf kind of droops, and who manages, with no small amount of effort, to drag Magnus onto the couch–Magnus is easily twice Merle’s height and built like a fucking brick house, this is a minor miracle.  He makes sure they’re lying on their sides and leaves water by their heads and clatters around loudly in the morning to cover up the fact that he’s cast Cure Minor Wounds in an attempt to lessen their hangovers.  

[gennyblaugh]

I wrote a poem. I didn’t expect it to be this long. Please add anything you think works as well

The Meninist Mentality

(or lack of)

 On self-presentation

Do something with yourself. Put on some makeup.

Why do you want to drive men away?

Loose some weight, don’t you care about your looks.

That is too much, you look fake!

Makeup is a trick, women are liars.

 On earning money

All you want to do is use us for our money.

Men are just walking ATM machines!

Marriage is a financial trap for men.

But why would you want to work anyway?

A woman’s place is the home, don’t get ideas about a career.

 On sexual appeal

Put yourself out there, it’s your job to attract a man.

Put in some effort you lazy woman,

But don’t be a slut.

Have some virtue and self-respect.

No one likes a woman who’s cheap.

 On cooking

Cooking and cleaning, you should be naturally good at that.

You expect me to cook for myself?

Why do you think you’re here?

Want to take your talent out there?

Don’t be absurd, only men cook professionally.

 On self confidence

You should take pride in your appearance.

It’s your greatest asset, use it.

Don’t be vain though.

Don’t call yourself beautiful, that’s our job.

How dare you assume.

 On stomach strength

Women are so weak. They’re scared of everything?

I bet you faint every time you cut yourself.

You couldn’t be a doctor.

It’s too gory.

How come you know how to get blood out of cotton?

 On periods

Your vagina is sacred. Your job is to procreate.

If you can’t bare children you’re no use to us.

Ew, menstruation!

Hide yourself, don’t you know how disgusting that is?

Do you think we want to know?

 On virginity

Don’t have sex outside of marriage!

You don’t need contraception, you just need to be good.

Oh, you’re pregnant already? Slut.

Don’t expect any help from me,

You did this to yourself.

 On abusive relationships

Women should learn to take what they can get.

He won’t leave you alone? He likes you.

Be grateful.

He hit you? Well you should have seen that one coming.

Can’t you choose better men to be with?

 On rape

Dress up nice, be polite and friendly.

You should never hurt a man’s ego.

Take a compliment.

You got raped? You stupid girl!

What did you expect, dressing up like that, flirting with them?

 On having children

Have a baby. You need to have a baby,

You’ll go crazy without one.

If you don’t have a baby what’s the point of you?

You just have children to keep men tied down.

They’re just bargaining chips to you.

 On fragility

Women can’t withstand pain.

If I was to slap you, you’d be knocked over.

You’re so fragile. Things need to be softened for you.

Oh stop making such a fuss!

Childbirth is meant to be hard.

 On leadership

Women aren’t logical thinkers. You can’t lead.

You can’t make complicated decisions.

Here’s a new human.

Raise it. Teach it. Discipline it.

Keep it safe and don’t mess up.

 On breasts

You’re bosoms are so sexy.

How can I look at them in any other way?

Go on, show off the girls.

Have you no shame? Why are you feeding the baby in public?

No one wants to see that!

 On parenting

It’s your role to raise the child.

You’re a mother first and foremost, get that right.

Stop complaining about women’s problems!

Men have it just as hard.

We never get custody of the children!

 On aging

Your showing you’re age a little.

Dye your hair, get some botox.

Urgh, you’re so fake and vain.

Just cover up, you’re old now, accept it.

Wow look at him. The silver fox still has it.

 On emotional expression

Women aren’t supposed to be aggressive,

They’re social creatures.

You’re an emotional being, be one.

God you’re annoying! All you do is talk.

Why do you cry all the time?

 On the right to complain

Women are too emotional. You can’t do the things men do.

You couldn’t join the army or fly a fighter jet.

Why are you complaining?

Until you have a rifle in your hand and put your life on the line,

I’m not going to listen to your problems!

 On achievement

You shouldn’t try to achieve that.

You’re not clever enough, women just aren’t

You won’t be able to do it.

Opportunity? A chance to prove yourself?

Nah.

 On offence

It’s a man’s right to want a housewife.

She was such a slut, I split her in half?

I believe in equal rights AND LEFTS!

Oh don’t get offended.

Can’t you take a joke?

 On the workplace

Women just use their sexuality to get higher.

They don’t actually work hard.

He molested you?

Well what were you expecting?

That’s what happens when women and men work together.

 On being gay

Lesbians are so hot. Girl on girl, my favourite.

Imagine if you could get in there with them!

So hot.

Gay men are disgraceful.

Why would you behave so wrongly, it’s against nature!

 On men’s urges

Not all men!

God, stop generalising so much.

Not all guys are sexual predators.

Cover your shoulders child!

You’ll distract the male teachers and students.

 On reporting

If you didn’t want him to, why didn’t you say something?

When someone does that, report it.

Tell us.

Oh shut up, stop whining about getting attention.

Just deal with it, women in the past have.

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1291

Monday, December 9, 2019

 Thank Thor for Santa's little helper. We're about as ready for Christmas as I'll ever be. Penny is leaving soon for her annual drive up north to visit family and friends while I make sure all the lights I strung don't burn down the house. I finally got around to watching the animated feature "Big Hero 6" last night and was delighted by it.

 Superman Up In The Sky #6 - Tom King (writer) Andy Kubert (pencils) Sandra Hope (inks) Brad Anderson (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). Oh man, this story has the most inept villain ever. We find out why Alice was kidnapped by an alien. I liked the trip back to Earth. Kids say the darnedest things.

 Daredevil #14 - Chip Zdarsky (writer) Marco Checchetto & Francesco Mobili (art) Nolan Woodard (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). Detective Cole North is conflicted after talking about the law over coffee with Matt. Meanwhile the Police Commissioner has ordered his cops not to go into Hell's Kitchen, leading to rampant crime. It's time for the return of Daredevil and Elektra is going to be tagging along. This is going to be good.

 Young Justice #11 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) John Timms (art) Gabe Eltaeb (colours) Wes Abbott (letters). The team is back in their home dimension and they meet Naomi for the first time. Great time for a sleepover eh. Things go south when Superboy gets punked by the S.T.A.R. Labs lady. I can't wait to see what Brian Bendis does with Mike Grell's Warlord.

 Archie #709 - Nick Spencer & Mariko Tamaki (writers) Sandy Jarrell (artist) Matt Herms (colours) Jack Morelli (letters). The 5-part story of Archie's romance with Sabrina comes to an end. I am happy with the outcome.

 Savage Avengers #8 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Patch Zircher (art) Java Tartaglia (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). I love the clash of egos in this issue. Conan dines with Doom and Stephen crashes dinner. The three then go off looking for Kulan Gath. Hey, how else is the bad guy supposed to get his all powerful amulet back? I'm guessing it's another Doombot that runs afoul of the ancient wizard because heaven forbid they kill Doctor Doom again. Don't forget Doom died outside the UN in NYC and got shot dead by Taskmaster.

 Ironheart #12 - Eve L. Ewing (writer) Luciano Vecchio (art) Geoffo (layouts) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). The good guys beat the bad guys and Wakanda is saved. The End. I've followed Riri Williams since she was first created by Brian Michael Bendis and I am sad that she will no longer have her own book on the racks. The crew that put out these twelve issues did Brian proud.

 Web of the Black Widow #4 - Jody Houser (writer) Stephen Mooney (art) Triona Farrell (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). It's a wounded Widow that opens this issue and we find out how that happens. Clint/Hawkeye the hothead acts before he has all the facts and Natasha pays the price. She winds up dead to rights and possibly dead period. I know she'll save herself and I want to see how she does it.

 Batman #84 - Tom King (writer) Jorge Fornes (art) Jordie Bellaire (colours) Clayton Cowles (letters). There are a mind boggling number of flashbacks this issue trying to explain what the ding dong heck is going on. It all leads to the confrontation of father and son with Thomas and Bruce Wayne fighting for the fate of Batman. I don't think everything is going to change after Tom King leaves this book but man, is he ever stirring the pot.

 The Amazing Spider-Man #35 - Nick Spencer (writer) Oscar Bazaldua (art) Steve Firchow (colours) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). This is the story where Doctor Doom was assassinated in front of the UN. Now the real Doctor Doom is pissed and has shut down New York City until the assassin is brought to him. Spider-Man finds the culprit with the help of his sister Theresa. They try to trick Victor in the end but he doesn't fall for it. It's a classic cliffhanger ending.

 Doctor Doom #3 - Christopher Cantwell (writer) Salvador Larroca (art) Guru-eFX (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). So this Doc Doom is different from the one in The Amazing Spider-Man #35 even though they were both shot to start a war between Latveria and Symkaria. This is the real one. I really liked how Victor makes Mephisto his whipping boy. The surprise ending made me groan. And that's not to mention the inconsistency between panels 2 and 4 on page one. Very bad editing.

 Marauders #3 - Gerry Duggan (writer) Michele Bandini (pencils) Michele Bandini & Elisabetta D'Amico (inks) Federico Blee (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This X-book is for fans of political intrigue. The Black King, Sebastian Shaw inducts his resurrected son Shinobi into the Hellfire Club. Consider this X-Men: Game of Thrones. This is a lot more interesting than watching Kitty sail around rescuing other mutants.

 Lois Lane #6 - Greg Rucka (writer) Mike Perkins (art) Gabe Eltaeb (colours) Simon Bowland (letters). Wow if the funeral for (spoiler alert) Alfred is as well done as this funeral for Lois's father it will be well worth the read. Lois has come a long way since she first appeared in comic books.

 Annihilation - Scourge Fantastic Four #1 - Christos Gage (writer) Diego Olortegui (pencils) Juan Vlasco, Cam Smith & Scott Hanna (inks) Erick Arciniega (colours) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). The team goes to the Negative Zone to help fight the scourge from the Cancerverse and encounter the Ftaghn Four, infected versions of themselves. I knew it was a ftaghn bad idea to read these one shots. The art was nice though.

 20XX #1 - Jonathan Luna & Lauren Keely (writers) Jonathan Luna (art & letters). This new black & white book takes place in a future where a deadly virus either kills you or gives you special mind control powers if you survive. Survivors are designated Syms and are monitored by the government like sex offenders. It is illegal to use your powers so Syms have to be careful. Meria Bree Moore is a recent Sym and this is her story. I have yet to be disappointed by anything Jonathan Luna has done and this is no exception. Rest assured that I will want to read the rest of this story.

 Black Cat #7 - Jed MacKay (writer) Travel Foreman (art) Brian Reber (colours) Ferran Delgado (letters). This is an excellent issue where Felicia rescues the Fox from the clutches of Odessa. Unfortunately the inconsistent art was very distracting. They should have found an inker to render Travel's pencils.

 Batman Universe #6 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Nick Derington (art) Dave Stewart (colours) A Larger World's Troy Peteri (letters). I liked how Batman used deductive reasoning to get out of his white prison. It could have been an uh-oh situation when Vandal Savage gets his hands on the White Power Ring but he was set up to fail quite cleverly. I've noticed that there's always an "AGH" in every comic book that Brian writes and when Bruce Wayne asks the Riddler where Vandal Savage, AKA Vandar Adg is I had to say "har".

 Conan Serpent War #1 - Jim Zub (writer) Scot Eaton (pencils) Scott Hanna (inks) Frank D'Armata (colours) Vanesa R. Del Rey (art: James Allison sequence) Jean-Francois Beaulieu (colours: James Allison sequence) VC's Travis Lanham (letters). Conan must face the serpent god Set but this time he's going to be teamed up with other heroes. There's Moon Knight, Solomon Kane and Dark Agnes (because another company has the rights to Red Sonja I'm sure). Jim writes in a style similar to Robert E. Howard so this was an enjoyable read. The art isn't bad and I liked the homage to Barry Smith with Conan's horned helmet and necklace. Let's see how many times the Cimmerian exclaims "by Crom" in this story.

 Thor: The Worthy #1 - This one-shot would be right at home on the racks in the nineteen seventies. There are three tales of others who have been deemed worthy of wielding the hammer.

 "Beyond the Field We Know…" by Walt Simonson (writer) Mike Hawthorne (pencils) Sal Buscema (inks) Tamra Bonvillain (colours) & John Workman (letters) has Beta Ray Bill teamed up with the Lady Sif to fight a rock troll. I forgot that those two were romantically linked in the past.

 "Hearts of Stone, Feet of Clay" by Tom DeFalco (writer) Ron Frenz (plot & pencils) Keith Williams (inks) Rachelle Rosenberg (colours) & VC's Clayton Cowles (letters) features Eric Masterson as Thunderstrike versus the Grey Gargoyle. This tale was cheesy with the inclusion of the police strike force Code: Blue. They tried to give it a modern twist by having a lesbian couple in the story.

 And finally "Rules of Reflection" by Kathryn Immonen (writer) Tom Reilly (art) Chris O'Halloran (colours) & VC's Clayton Cowles (letters) sees the Lady Sif figuring out that the new female Thor is really Jane Foster. It's in the last words Sif says to Thor in the last panel of the second to last page. Har.

 X-Men #3 - Jonathan Hickman (writer) Leinil Francis Yu (pencils) Gerry Alanguilan & Leinil Francis Yu (inks) Sunny Gho & Rain Beredo (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). I've been waiting for new super villains to show up to challenge the X-Men and this issue delivers. Meet the not so helpless little old ladies of Hordeculture, average age 71. Agrochemist Augusta Bromes, bioengineer Opal Vetiver, geneticist Lily Leymus and botanical engineer Edith Scutch. They want to return planet earth to it's pristine Garden of Eden condition by eliminating most of humanity. I like them.

 Annihilation - Scourge Nova #1 - Matthew Rosenberg (writer) Ibraim Roberson (art) Carlos Lopez (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This was better than the FF one-shot that hit the racks at the same time. I got a few chuckles catching up with Richard Rider. You don't even have to know anything about this cosmic super hero because the first three pages explain his entire existence up to this point. My enjoyment of this made me want to check out the Silver Surfer and Beta Ray Bill one-shots that will hit the racks December 11.