#why does everything always lead me back to this mf video

[rainbowcolored7]

1/? Hidden Messages edits for personal fic purposes. Feel free to use with credit. 💖

[kithtaehyung]

would u? (3tan717) | myg

3tan717 drabble #1: would u? pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 rating/genre: pg (18+) ; fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: you see a certain fruit-centered trend online.. and decide to test it on yoongi note: i am so so so sorry this is out on the very last day of feb but things have been absolute bananas lately! tbh i’m surprised this is even getting posted on time and i have even more to do after this is shared but eff it shibal!!! note 2: as promised, this is dedicated to the people that submitted the answers i’m using for this drabble: anon, grapes / @yoongrace, and apryl @aprylynn for this idea hehehe! also i literally just finished this so it's legit unedited so i'm sry for any mistakes! off to go prep for events now! warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, working yoongi??, kitchen, period cramps suck but yoongi to the mf rescue drop date: feb 29th, 2024, 10:03pm est word count: 2.3k

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Ugh. 

Why does this have to happen every fucking month. Why can’t it happen every three? Or six? Or never ever ever? 

Groaning, you roll over, burying your face into the pillow on Yoongi’s side. 

To some degree, you feel placated, probably due to his scent still lingering next to your dismay. He had to get up early to finish a track, but he assured you can be in the room. 

You can hear a little bit of what he’s working on as it bleeds through his headphones, and even just this sliver of sound gives you chills. Not just because of what it sounds like, but the sole fact that Yoongi’s letting you even listen in the first place. 

Huffing out a bit of amusement, you remember the last time Yoongi let you stay while he worked—albeit at his place while he went to the studio. 

Damn, how much you’ve grown since then. All those memories, those quiet times and tumultuous times, everything leading up to now. How time has molded you with knowing hands. 

However, no matter how much has changed all these months, some things have not wavered, like the fact that you needed to be sure he was okay with it—and his answer making you absurdly shy. 

Did he really have to say that you’re either staying or he’s gonna leave? That scheming motherfucker! 

Some drum beats hit your cheek before you realize the menace himself is playing multiple different ones. It’s only a couple hits before he moves onto the next, and you’re about to lift your hea—

“Fuck, where the hell is that kick?” 

Your laugh is stifled by cotton. As tickled as you are to hear Yoongi like this, you don’t wanna do anything to distract him. 

But by doing so, that causes your body to tighten and fuck, it hurts. It hurts to move, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to just exist. God, you want him to come back and join you so bad, but you don’t wanna be that person. 

…Yet. Maybe if it gets so bad you can’t even sleep? 

“Found you! Fucking finally. Thought you could hide from me, huh?” 

Oh, fucking hell, he’s adorable. 

Yeah, there’s no way you’re making him drop everything right now. This is too precious of an afternoon to stop. 

Exhaling a mile long breath, you fight through your pain and feel for your phone, groaning as you shift yourself. When in position under sheets and warm sunlight, you cycle through apps as a distraction. 

Scrolling. Scrolling. Smiling at some animal videos a bit before scrolling again. 

After all of five minutes, you start to see a trend on your feed, and suddenly get the idea to try it on Yoongi. It’s simple and harmless, right? 

You [3:30pm]: would u peel an orange for me 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, and you lift your head slightly to see if he looks at his phone. 

When he does, he checks it really quick before setting it back down on his desk, back to clicking on his screen. 

Ah. Damn. He must really be in the zone because… 

Uhh. 

Blinking, you watch as Yoongi rolls his chair out to get up, setting his glasses down and heading out of the room with a light swing of his chains. 

Uh. What just happened? Did you upset him? You’re so stunned that his swift exit has you wanting to get up and follow him.  

But ow. Ouch. It’s maddening how much your cramps are getting to you. 

Bearing the punches to your gut, you start sliding out of the bed, straining and sucking in sharp breaths just to stand and pull Yoongi’s comforter over your tension. 

Padding out the bedroom, your worries make your steps tiny and heavy, and you regret sending that text because you literally just said you weren’t… gonna…

On the dining table—quiet—lie three tangerines, peeled and placed next to vibrant scraps while your lover peels a fourth with diligent, devoted hands. 

And you can’t even form words that match how you feel. 

Your vision swims right as Yoongi looks your way, his body stilling before he puts the fruit down. 

When he approaches with concern, you answer his silent questions through hiccups, “I—I thought you left cus—you were mad.” 

“Huh?” 

“I don’t even know,” you swallow, gesturing to all of your lower half and feeling him hold the slipping blanket. “It’s just… this, I guess.”

“Does it hurt?” 

“Like a motherfucker.” 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, doll. Hold up.” Handing you the comforter, Yoongi goes to his cabinets in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of medicine before walking it over. “You gotta take something as soon as you feel it. Don’t let it get this bad.”

“I know,” you groan, resting your head on his shirt and inhaling his healing presence. “I didn’t wanna bother you.” 

Your forehead is kissed. “You’re not bothering me. Especially with something like this.” 

“Okay.” 

He walks away again to grab some water, and you watch as he pours some into an electric kettle before starting it up. 

Glancing back at the fruit, you sigh, clutching the bottle of pills while feeling the weight of his comforter. He’s probably not pleased with the way it might drag on the ground, so you gather it and pick the end chair to sit on. 

And then you sigh, “Sorry for making you peel those. I didn’t even plan on eating anything.”  

“Too bad. You’re gonna eat what I make you anyway.” 

Wait, he’s cooking? He has work to do! “You’re working, though. Don’t worry about me right now.” 

“It’ll be quick.” 

“What are you making?” 

A glass bowl and pan are procured from random places before Yoongi blinks in place. “Uhh.. You’ll see.” 

As he clunks them onto his counter and stove, you watch with hearts for eyes as he bustles around the kitchen space. Even doing things as simple as washing his hands, opening his fridge, and simply grabbing a knife gives you pause. 

And this is when you realize that you can watch Yoongi do absolutely anything and be amazed. 

Even when he stands, watching you with a look that’s wait why doesn’t he look—

“Take the medicine, baby girl.” 

Oh. 

Snapping out of your trance, you nod. “Sorry.” 

Yoongi continues to give you glances until you swallow down the painkillers, satisfied enough to continue his cooking venture when you take the second one. 

As the sun paints the apartment in marigold and light, you keep watching with a smile as he brings the kitchen to life. Butter sizzles in a pan, tangerines are getting halved on a board, and something is getting mixed with a whisk. 

Who knew that the neighborhood fuckboy would have a whisk on hand? Not the younger you, that’s for damn sure. 

But here Yoongi is, in the flesh, whisking away with veiny forearms that have you thinking the most absurd thoughts during this time of the month. The only thing that would cut through the raging horniness would be getting up to see what the hell he’s making. 

It’s starting to smell familiar though. But he put the tangerines in the pan so you don’t even know what to expect right now. 

Walking up—blanket left behind—you observe the kitchen before peering over his broad shoulder. “Mm.. Smells like pancakes.” 

Yoongi doesn’t answer, but when you see the consistency of the batter, you realize you’re correct. “Oh, it is! I’m smart.” 

“You are,” he laughs. “But you didn’t get it all the way right.” 

“No?” 

“Nope.” Yoongi then gently gets you to move before he pours the batter over the slices, and you crane your neck to watch as he evens it all out. “Just one tangerine pancake.”

“Oh, okay,” you scoff, earning a laugh at your side. “Whatever, chef.” 

“We’ll see what you say in a bit.” 

Is he gonna leave it or flip it? Probably the latter. 

“K. Gonna flip that once it’s done.” 

Nice. You smile to yourself, loving how you’re starting to really be on the same page. Nudging him, you keep watching as he lowers the heat and sets the lid on the pan. “What now?” 

“We wait,” he responds, dusting his hands together before cleaning up his mixing bowl. “And I’m gonna see if we have any sugar.”

Damn it, Yoongi cannot keep saying that two-letter word. It’s starting to be detrimental to your health. “I can help.” 

“S’ok,” he assures, nose upturned. “Just watch me work.” 

“Oh, I’m very good at doing that.” 

At this, Yoongi turns and gives you a smile that immediately reminds you of summer, and you almost feel like crying again. 

“I’ve actually never tried this, but. We’ll see if this works.” 

With nothing snarky, or teasing, or fake to say, you reply with a smile and a genuine, “I’m sure it will.” 

When he keeps staring, his eyes lower to your lips, and you don’t care that you probably look like a wreck, or feel like one. Because the way he’s looking at you now makes you glow. 

If only the kettle didn’t decide this was the moment to stop boiling. 

You were probably about to get the kiss of your life. 

But Yoongi halts in his tracks before shifting to get a mug, setting it down with a thud before checking on the pancakes. Pancake. Whatever that delicious-smelling thing is gonna be. 

“There’s some tea packets in that right drawer. Help yourself cus I’d rather you pick.” 

Chuckling, you oblige before scooting over. After seeing a small jar of granules on the counter, you start rummaging through the drawer, exploring the various options while hearing the sound of a plate behind you. 

Ah, Yoongi’s flipping it. 

As you turn, you’re just in time to watch the muscles in his back protrude through his shirt as he flips the pan, impressed as he sets the plate down because holy hell that looks great. 

“Sugar, sugar, sugar… Suga, suga, suga.” 

Laughing, you interrupt his silly search as you grab the jar you just saw. “Suga suga, how you get so fly?”

Yoongi stops to see what’s in your hand, and he huffs through a grin before grabbing it. “Thanks, doll.” 

You keep humming the song that’s now wedged into your head as you watch him sprinkle bits on the pancake. 

“I don’t have a blowtorch,” he admits, “But I do have this.” 

Rolling out a drawer, Yoongi takes out a long lighter before holding it to the sugary top, humming the same song you were just singing without even knowing it. As the sugar slowly but surely heats, you both keep humming and basking in a calm afternoon. 

And you don’t even feel the pain anymore. 

“Go ahead and sit, babe.” 

“You sure?” 

“Uh huh.” 

Following instructions, you make your way to the table, cocooning yourself in his comforter again as you await the cutest meal you’ve had in weeks. Months. Lifetimes. 

Speaking of lifetimes… You hope every version of you meets every version of him. No matter when. No matter where. Because you want every version of yourself to find happiness, and Yoongi has been the one to help you finally find it. 

And he certainly passed whatever the hell this orange theory thing was supposed to be. 

Plates are set down to break you out of introspection, and you glance up with eyes sparkling. 

When Yoongi raises a brow, you just smile. When he asks what’s gotten into you, a chuckle escapes before you shake your head, 

“Nothing, baby. Just didn’t expect all this from that text.” 

As he plops into the next chair, you love the way the sun settles on his skin. Highlights his hair. Shimmers in his eyes. 

“Don’t even need to ask, babe.” He captures your attention with a calm look. “I was waiting for any distractions anyways.” 

So this was for him, too? Good. 

Grabbing your fork, you giggle. “Sounded like you were having a little trouble over there.” 

“I was! This is what I get for not saving my shit.” 

Both of you sit back in laugher as you throw your hands out. “Do that!” 

“I’m lazy!” 

“Tough shit!” 

“I know!” 

Grinning, you loll your head before waving your fork out. “You’re gonna save those sounds, and you’re gonna remember this day and thank me.” 

Yoongi just tightens his lips in a smile, eyes creased and glimmering. “Maybe.” 

“Yes. I’ll stand there and watch you until you do it.” 

"Really.."

For the rest of the afternoon—with full bellies and clear minds—you rest on the edge of Yoongi’s bed, forcing him to find the files he needs and watching him groan his way through saving everything. 

Constantly laughing at the ridiculously random names he’s assigning them.

When he’s done, you watch as he spins around in his chair, heart thumping with anticipation as you’re met with a waiting pair of eyes.

Breathtaking. 

When he leans in, you feel incredibly shy. Always, always, always. This will forever remain the same.

And—just as well—Yoongi's kisses will forever taste like tangerines. 

Three of them, to be exact. 

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fin. :)

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how did the first 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe

a/n: nothing much to say other than i love y'all so much! i will try responding to anything when i can (there's literally still all the 3tan12 feedback to get to) but i do read all the commentary sent in and it keeps me going strong :'))) so thank you again for being here and being amazingly patient with me. off to work on more things but i shall be back once the wild weeks are over!

a/n 2: suga suga how you get so flyyyy hahaha

[alleunwalk]

tokyo revengers idol au hcs part 3 that no one asked for AGAIN here’s part 1 and part 2 to get a better understanding.  this is what the members would be doing alongside their idol promotions+ what they would post on social media  toman tbh these guys are all just so damn funny on their own that they would constantly be invited to comedy variety shows. maybe perhaps doing something similar to seventeen or wanna one where they even have their own variety show on youtube (ie. seventeen’s-going seventeen series or wanna one’s show on mnet)  mikey-he would post basic food pics like of his parfaits or taiyaki but also it’s rare because he’d constantly forget his password. however on important days he’ll post long emotional and sentimental posts that hit you in your feels thanking his members and fans always. he also has a youtube channel posting random funny vlogs. draken- he has his own personal soundcloud to upload solo mixtapes/songs feat diff members. posts photos of his bikes and different tattoos he would be getting. responds with 1-2 words to fans during fansigns or ig comments but like mikey, once in a while, will also write heartfelt posts thanking everyone.  baji- his ig feed is filled with animals + dance practice vids. also has his own soundcloud too. trolls his members by commenting on their stuff. “delete this u ugly mf no one wants to see this”.  takemichi- very chatty, (sometimes too chatty where he’ll end up accidentally spoiling their next album info) and interactive on social media to his fans. tries his best to respond to most comments or ama ig stories questions. posts a lot of selfies and photos of his members. king of fan service.  chifuyu- beautiful photos of the sky a lot on his ig (in canon he wanted to be a pilot :,) ) along with cute soft selfies. (which baji and kazutora troll and comment being like “damn....u ugly AF!” “lmao stop pretending to act cute u loser”  kazutora- his ig is filled with pure chaos. just pics of him catching his members slipping (sleeping photos where they’re drooling or have their eyes slightly open or making ugly faces behind the scenes). also has photos of cursed memes and memes made by fans. he’s a literal enigma.  mitsuya- very wholesome ig photos- lots of photos of his family, group photos, sometimes cool artsy edited selfies. occasional photoshoot photos.  hakkai- ig is filled lots of #ootd photos and occasional photos from his modeling or acting gigs (he’s the visual, duh!) gets a lot of sponsorships from big brands.  pah-chin: has a joint youtube channel with peyan. they do silly challenges but will sometimes post dance videos (feat. baji) since they’re the main/lead dancers. fans love him because of his “matter-of-fact” responses that are funny without even trying. (example- fan comment: omg i love u guys soooo much u guys are the best in the whole world!!!<333 toman OUTSOLD!.  pah-chin: idk about best in the world but we’ll just take “the best in our neighborhood” for now i guess. thanks.”)  peyan: joint youtube channel with pah-chin. at fan signs mikey has to warn him to chill out cuz peyan will accidentally yell and scare fans without meaning to, but he’s just really excited to meet his fans is all ^_^   angry: posts a lot of wholesome photos like mitsuya (selfies with smiley) and writes a lot of motivational sweet captions cheering fans up and reminding them to always be happy :,)  smiley: joint youtube account with angry. smiley does a lot of prank videos and angrys just usually in the back like  🧍‍♂️... he also does tiktok- he would be doing all the dances, memes, and trends.  inui: ok hear me out, i mentioned before inui has similar vibes as cha eunwoo so i’d figure his ig would give the same vibe as his (iykyk). since he’s the other visual he would be getting a TON of acting and modeling gigs. idk why but i feel like inui would be a great actor (his facial expressions during tenjiku arc, the range!). actor of the year. gets a lot of skincare commercial deals too. 

black dragons shinichiro- photos of bikes, cars, and photos where hes pretending to do a cool pose but his members (+mikey) would troll and comment “LAME!!!!!” “why tf do u look like that?” “hey leader, it’s not too late to delete this now bestie :)” does fun ig lives. on variety shows as a joke his members tease him there as well. really great at fan-service and pulls the whole “pretend boyfriend” scenario with fans (the delusional fans are gonna act up if he keeps this up...).  taiju- (if shinichiro did not exist in this au OR if you wanted both in the group) photos of him at the gym, photoshoot photos.  inui- similar to if he was in toman, his ig would just be a lot of cool and cute photos of him from behind the scenes of dramas or photoshoots. a soft visual king. occasional selfies with koko and bike photos.  kokonoi- has a personal youtube channel but he would be Drowning in sponsorship videos all from high-end designer brands. he’s just casually flexing that PPL in his vlogs. ig feed is a lot of #ootd photos or pics taken with inui. him and inui would be makeup brand ambassadors or faces of brands (ex: like jennie from blackpink represents chanel). in this case kokonoi would be the face of fendi (he wears fendi slides in the manga cover) and inui would be the face of jimmy choo (his heels in the manga cover looked like jimmy choo but i could be wrong.. but u know what i mean) 

tenjiku  izana- pretty leader has a very artsy ig feed. extremely photogenic like inui. has photoshoot photos and candid pose photos. acts in dramas time to time (gg second male lead syndrome).  kakucho- posts gym or dance practice videos on his feed but he posts rarely because he’s just too busy or forgets he actually has an ig. loves commenting on takemichi’s posts “haha no wonder ur called baka-michi!” as a joke.  kanji- posts gym photos but it’s rare because he always forgets his password.  ran- the other visual. he would be modeling for high-fashion brands and go on runway shows. also definitely gives off actor vibes (he would be constantly casted in dark action movies hahaha). loves giving fan service.  rindou- in contrast to his brother, rindou when it comes to fan service, he loves trolling fans. also he’s really good at drawing a line between fans (y’know, keeping the delusional ones in check...which means he ‘friend-zones’ them but it’s for their own good tbh idols need to remind people their boundaries). has a youtube channel where he just posts random dance practice vids and occasional vlogs. also comments under his brothers ig posts “you look stupid af in this wtf”. on variety shows people find their brotherly banter hilarious.  mutou- posts gym photos, also really awkward selfies (he doesn’t know what his angle is lmao). another member who also reminds fans of their boundaries and keeps it real. (sanzu always likes his photos though and hypes him up in the comments).  sanzu- shy baby. constantly following mutou around. posts a lot of cute selfies and random pics of shogi stuff (he tags mutou in it of course). during fan signing/autograph sessions they love putting cute headband props on him like this or this. 

bonten because this group’s concept and aesthetic is mysterious, mature, artsy, gloomy, and dark they will take this concept to the grave. (minus a few exceptions) they are invited to variety/talk-shows but never make an appearance because they want to keep the air of mystery around them. (it’s a good marketing technique).  mikey- does not have any social media. he does have a private account to lurk around but no one knows what it is.  kokonoi- has a youtube channel but it’s locked and you have to pay to get into it. posts super short vlogs and teasers. thats it. (the ultimate scam! but their fans love them too much to notice). lots of sponsored #ootd posts on ig.  kakucho- he would be modeling ONLY high fashion brands and high end editorial places. his instagram is just his exquisite and expensive modeling photos whether it be candid backstage photos from shows, candid runway walk pics/vids, pics of diff photoshoots you name it. doesn’t really comment much.  ran- visual. similar to kakucho- modeling ONLY high fashion brands and editorial places. instagram is filled with modeling photos but also some artsy scenery pics he took.  rindou- posts short artsy dancing clips (like modern dances in black&white filter) on ig.  sanzu- since he’s the other visual, he also posts a lot of his modeling/acting photos on instagram. also pretty chatty (he’s the exception) on social media and loves teasing and trolling fans. posts with a lot of random cute emojis on everything. “just ate lunch and now im off to practice hehe 🍜🍇🤟💃🤠🧚‍♂️💞🦋” no one really knows why he uses random emojis but it’s just endearing lmao.  kanji- no social media at all.  akashi- manager....or if you made him the rapper in this au then he too would also not have any social media. 

[getitinbusan]

10 years with Jungkook

California

You met Jeon Jeongguk in the summer of 2012. Two kids brought together by a calling to California and a chance at making it big. Best friends from the start, what happens when only one of you becomes successful? Do you ever forget your first love? 

Childhood friends to lovers, angst and smut.

Words:  4600

Warnings: 18 plus smut. Oral F, Sex MF, Swearing. Pretty Mild for me. This is a previously posted fic that has been updated and reworked.

It was a rare rainy August day in California. The heavy drops created a sad melody on the window as you put the dishes away. Tired and lonely, the feeling in your gut kept nagging at you, maybe it was time to give up. 

The savings account was drained, there were no jobs to be found and  this was the second month of falling short on rent. Surely it would only be a matter of time before your roommates would stop exchanging house cleaning for money. 

Hanging the threadbare towel over its hook you stood in the kitchen, your mood mirroring the dim light of the afternoon. Feeling frusterated and stupid, it had taken you way longer than it should have to realize that in LA, you were nothing. Not pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough or talented enough to ever make it big. So this is how the great Califonia chapter of your life would end, not by choice but necessity. 

Gathering up the mail that was strewn across the countertop, you shuffled through it sorting its priority. Junk mail, bills, personal…one in particular standing out. Your heart began pounding as you took in the details.

The penmanship was nice, black ink on an unassuming envelope. But it was the stamp that caught your attention. It was sent from Korea.

Flipping it in your hand you examined the torn top. The letter, having been read, was cradled back safely inside. Addressed to your roommate a frown crept onto your face. Why wouldn’t he write to you?

It was a ridiculously hopeful notion but you widened the envelope and inhaled trying to find a trace of his fragrance, something, anything to trigger a happy memory. Cool California nights were the best excuse. How many times had you borrowed his sweaters just to have his smell on you?

You missed him. It had been a year and a half and you couldn't help but once again ponder the nagging question that always crept back. If you hadn't forced him to break the rules would he still be a part of your life? 

It was too tempting to resist, your fingers pinched the paper inside of the envelope and pulled it free. 

I’m feeling low, I don’t know who I am, only who I’m supposed to be.

What would life be like if I had stayed in California? We could all be roommates, hanging out and having fun, going to the beach on weekends.

Does she even think about me?

It sounds greedy that with how much I have right now, it’s not enough. I would give anything to wake up in bed beside her everyday. I want more than anything to be able to talk to her about these things but I can’t. I’ve made the mistake of trading her for fame and now I’m destined to keep her at an arm’s length so she’ll never know the price I paid.

How does she even see me? As an Idol? As the boy who abandoned her? Has she forgotten the good days we spent together?

I’ve been wrestling with myself, whoever that is. I wish I could be the teenage boy from that long ago summer again. I wrote this song thinking about it…

~When I see you smile in the screen

You’re good at everything

You’re just perfect

Feels like I've never been you

Do you even see me?

Do you know who I am?

Or how do I look now?

You don’t like me like that

I want to be your decalcomania~

I’m afraid I may not get back for a while, please write. Your friendship and thoughts of her are the only things that are keeping me tethered to some semblance of reality.

JK

Clutching the letter to your chest, your mind took you back to that day. 

"Decalcomania, the art or process of transferring pictures and designs. Making a copy of the original on a different medium"  

Reading the description on the wall you’d both stood laughing at the piece's strange name, Decalcomania. The gallery visit felt like lifetimes ago but you still remembered clearly. You remembered, not because the piece had struck you as particularly special but because that's where you had decided that Jeongguk's laugh was the best sound you'd ever heard.  

California had lured you into its promise when you turned 14. Having been accepted to an  intensive dance program at The Movement Lifestyle Studio you packed up and headed West for the summer. 

It was July and it was hot, the dancers stepping off the bus one at a time took their places in the studio.

Looking around there were so many older kids, you were probably one of the youngest. Calling out names they put you into groups, it appeared to be by age so you made your way across the unfamiliar wooden floor to the tiny gathering of teens in the darkened corner.

Shy introductions were made as one more member was ushered over to where you had congregated. “This is Jeongguk.” 

He had the cutest smile and barely spoke english but his eyes twinkled like the constellations. Immediately drawn to each other you became fast friends.

Absolutely exhausted by the end of the first few days he quietly knocked at your door.

He was homesick and lonely, used to being surrounded by his six members, he couldn’t sleep well without someone beside him. You let him crawl into bed with you, you were 14 and it was innocent. 

Inseparable, days and nights were spent side by side, the others began referring to you as the twins. It was the best summer of your life but like every boy meets girl summer story, it had to come to a close. Promising through tears to keep in touch and stay friends you went your separate ways. 

Jeongguk would send silly videos of his practice sessions, goofing around with the other members.  He’d facetime and text but he always loved to send handwritten letters.

They lived in a box under your bed and contained stories of how hard he was working to become an idol. He always signed off with, "I miss you,” and a few lines of lyrics he’d written.

You didn’t know then how important they would become, the only tangible piece of him you could still hold on to.  

Whenever he came back to America you did everything you could to see him. You always found a way to get to the small tour stops whenever they came through. 2015 was the first, then KCon in 2016, but 2017, it was different.

Facetiming you with the news that they were bringing the Wings tour to NY, Chicago and Anaheim, he asked if you’d be part of the dance crew. How could you turn down two weeks with Jungkook the hottest new K-pop Idol? They were getting bigger, more popular and their lives were changing rapidly.

He had strict rules, girls were completely off limits. No talking, no hugging, no smiling at one another, any little thing could be easily misconstrued by the fans. Everything had to be done in secret. Jungkook would sneak you into his hotel room where you would spend your nights together catching up. The boys would bring you in food and cover for him while you both stayed locked away out of sight.

While happy to be with him, you could tell there was an underlying sadness he was holding on to.

"I wish I could go and explore the city with you like we used to," his voice trailed off.

You were laying in each other’s arms cuddling on his bed.  Leaning over he kissed the top of your head.

"All I really want is to take you on a proper date."

You snuggled closer into his side as he exhaled deeply, releasing his secret. 

"I’ve been waiting so long to become someone, a man worthy of your affection. Now I’m stuck. I have everything I wanted and I’m not allowed to share it with you."

His arms gripped you tighter.

"I’m sorry, this is a terrible confession. I don’t expect you to love me back, not under these circumstances, I just need you to know, you’re the only girl I’ve ever loved and there won’t be anybody else, ever." 

Every bit of his confession, every moment of that last night in the hotel room had stuck with you to this day. The words of a 19 year old boy whose life had become bigger than the feelings of two people.

He'd left in the morning without knowing. You were a coward, too afraid to tell him you loved him too.  

LA became your home right after they left Anaheim. Focused on your dancing, if you became good enough, maybe you could join the tour with him. 

A letter with a big bouquet of flowers arrived a few weeks later. 

"Congratulations on your new house in LA!

I hope that all of you are getting along as roommates, it’s hard living with others sometimes.

Last night I dreamt that I was there with you and all of our friends. We were having a party on the beach and we sat together watching the sunset.

Do you remember after practice when we would skateboard as fast as we could to the ocean so we wouldn’t miss the colors?

Maybe one day my toes can feel the sand there again.

I miss you, I miss me… the me I am when I get to be with you.

We're coming back in October for a few days and I’m hoping I can see you, I’m lonely already.   

Jeongguk

~Won’t you please stay in dreams

I can hear the sea from far away

Across the dream, over the bush

Go there where it becomes clear

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

When I’m with you, I’m in utopia~

By the time The AMAs came, the plan had been finalized. You would steal Jungkook away so that you could take him on your first real date.

Having enlisted Namjoon to help, he was your inside man. The boys, happy to help finally get you together, would cover for his whereabouts with management. The day before the awards they were only scheduled for styling, as long as he wasn’t late for the press rounds the next afternoon your plan could work.

It was Namjoon’s job to get him out of the building. Telling him to follow his lead, Joon convinced the managers that Jungkook must have eaten something bad for lunch. Claiming to not feel well, he was whisked away to meet you at the hotel’s back receiving door. 

Sitting in the shiny red rented convertible you tossed him a pair of sunglasses. What you wouldn’t give now to see that smile again.

Barely giving him time to get in you’d sped away heading straight for In And Out Burger.

"Kookie, I hope you’re ready for the best day of your life! We’re going to eat until we explode, drink and party at the beach and then, instead of returning you to your fancy 5 star hotel you’re staying the night in my crappy little house with a tiny uncomfortable bed!!"

He laughed, that perfect laugh. It was so pure and honest, thinking about it now made you sad. Was that the last moment he'd gotten to be his true self? Jeongguk the man not Jungkook the personna? 

Knowing you only had one day to give him everything, one day to show him you loved him, you tried to make the best of it.

Picking up the food Jungkook held onto the red and white bags in the passenger seat, sneaking his hand in to steal fries when he thought you weren’t looking. If you weren’t sure you were in love with him before you you certainly were now.

Pulling up beside the tree on the beach he was stunned, "Ahhh Jagi, I can’t believe you brought me here."

Happy that it meant as much to him as it did to you, you both sat on the branch and ate. Two blocks from the old studio this used to be your escape. Every break you’d make your way to the tree for some time alone, together. 

With the burgers done he turned to you and smiled. It felt like he wanted to say something, but stupidly, you'd cut him short leading him back towards the car.

Making your way through your checklist you brought him back to where you'd first met. The Movement studios students were starstruck when he walked in. After insisting that he teach some choreography, he reluctantly led the class.

Your eyes were glued to him as he moved in front of the mirrors, no longer that awkward teenager but a full grown man mesmerizing you with his every move.

Getting back to the car he stopped you before you reached for the handle. Putting his arms around you he pulled you in close. But again, you resisted him. 

"You stink Jungkook, our next stop is the ocean."

You remember pulling away. How stupid you were, you should have held on to him longer. Reaching into the back seat you revealed a pair of swim shorts and a towel. He looked disappointed that you kept interrupting his attempts at intimacy. It broke your heart but you had a plan and limited time to execute it. 

The Ocean was chilly but the wind was warm, he came out of the change room with the shorts on but still wearing his shirt.

"Kookie, this isn’t Korea, you don’t have to be so modest here. Plus, you should grab some sun, you may not believe it but when your skin is sunkissed," you grinned, "you look really sexy."

He raised his eyebrows and quickly removed the shirt at your request.

Running into the water you splashed and played and he took great pleasure in picking you up and throwing you as far as he could.

The sun was getting ready to set and you wanted to dry off before the cooler air set in.

Leading him back to the shore you both laid down on the towel. He put his arm around you and you cuddled into his side.

"My god Guk, look at your abs!"

He blushed like crazy as you traced the muscles on his stomach.

"Stop, it tickles," he giggled.

But you didn’t, you kept tickling him until he held you so tight you couldn’t move. He had you pinned, flipping you on your back he shook his wet hair flinging water droplets all over you. Pleased with himself he leaned in closer to you, his eyes asking for permission to kiss you. As the gap between you got narrower you could hear his name being shouted and footsteps running closer. He flopped onto his back and sighed as your roommates and friends piled on top of him.

Eating, drinking and catching up with everyone you watched each other from across the bonfire. Moving from person to person he slowly made his way back to your side.

"Welcome back." Running your hand through the back of his hair, it was now or never. 

Pulling him closer your lips finally met in the way they were destined, soft, slow and full of love. His hands instinctively moved to cup your face as the world stopped around you.

"I love you," you whispered.

Nose to nose he smiled at you and it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.

It didn’t last long, his phone started going off incessantly. The managers knew, you’d been careless, photos and videos of him from the studio had been posted online.

"I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t mean for you to get in trouble."

His eyes turned hungry as he grabbed your hand.

"You promised I wouldn’t be going back to my hotel tonight, let’s get out of here."

If he was going to get in trouble anyway, why stop now?  

The drive back to your place was quiet, adrenaline and hormones flowing like electricity through you both. The time for smiling was over as the seriousness of the situation lingered in the air between you.

It wasn’t just being in trouble or being caught, but the fact that you both knew what was going to happen when you stepped into your bedroom. One act that would change everything between you, it held the power to change the dynamic of your relationship forever.

Leading him to your room you closed the door and stood staring at him as he sat on your bed. He raked his fingers through his hair before he spoke.

"I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be able to make love to you. BUT I also know that when I leave I’m not going to get to see you again for a very long time." His head hung low. "Management is going to do everything possible to keep us apart and that won’t be fair to you. I think that maybe we should just let our happy memories of today be enough, I don’t want you to regret anything. " 

Walking closer you stood between his legs and he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"The only thing I'll regret is never getting to experience all of you. I can’t live not knowing how it feels to be totally yours even if it's only for one night."

He rested his head against your chest, "You’ll always be mine."

His hands traveled to the hem of your shirt and his fingers ran over the soft skin of your stomach. Undoing the button of your jeans he slowly slid them down your legs and you stepped out of them. 

Standing up he lifted the thin fabric of your shirt over your head and you stood before him waiting as he took his off too. Unclasping your bra he sighed as he looked at you taking in your shape, his fingertips hovering over your hard nipples.

"I’ve never done this before," he confessed.

"Me either," you whispered. "I've only ever wanted it to be you."

More relaxed he let his mouth start exploring your body. You were goosebumps and shivers beneath him as his tongue found it’s home between your legs.

He was soft and careful, placing his lips over your clit sucking it in delicately until your moans couldn’t be contained any longer. You could feel his eyes burning into you as he watched in awe as his finger slid inside you.

"It feels good Kookie, please…"

You could feel his mouth stopping to smile before he picked up speed. Moving your hips to eagerly meet his mouth you were unravelling quickly.

"The way you taste is better than anything I had imagined."

Devouring you in sessions between his words of adoration you came hard on his tongue. 

"I'm really regretting running you all over town today when we could have just been here...doing that.. " You were out of breath. 

"I was worried that I wouldn't be any good." He grinned at you pleased with himself. 

Moving up to where your head lay on the pillow he pushed the dampened hair off your face, "Are you ok? Do you need anything?"

He placed his forehead against yours.

"I just want you. I need you to know I'm yours, forever. 

Rolling a condom on he moved slowly to line himself up with your entrance.

"Tell me if you need me to stop okay?"

He pushed carefully, slowly stretching you around him. Watching intently for discomfort he froze when he saw the tears welling in your eyes.

"Shit, I’m so sorry, let’s stop, I didn’t mean to hurt you." He was apologetic as he thumbed away the tears.

"No," you delicately kissed his lips. "I’m okay… I’m just so happy, so overwhelmed with how much I’m feeling right now."

He smiled down at you, pressing his body closer he gave another push until he was fully inside. Your bodies fell into a beautifully choreographed rhythm until Jungkook was so lost in pleasure he began to move at his own pace. Quicker and deeper he moved until he finally spilled into the condom. 

Laying together in euphoria you kissed, and kissed, and kissed until you finally found sleep while wrapped around one other.

Every few hours he’d wake you up. His hands running over your body checking to make sure you weren't just a dream. You’d made love each time, everytime better than the last.

It was 9 am when he caressed you awake once more.

"I have to leave soon. I don’t want to." He spoke in whispers nestled into your neck. "Please tell me to stay."

Your heart broke at his words. "If I ask you to stay, I’m selfish, you’ll always wonder if you made the right decision." The tears came, knowing you had to do what was right. "If I tell you to go, your dreams come true… ” your voice trailed off.

"And I’ll always wonder if I made the right decision,” he finished. 

Your phone started ringing and you knew time was up.

It was Joon, "I’m outside. Sorry, I held them off as long as I could. I told them that I’d come get him so you could at least have time to say goodbye."

Your tears fell out in heavy ugly sobs, "Okay, five minutes… and Joon… thanks, I know you’re probably in trouble too."

Hanging up you turned back, Jungkook was already out of bed with his clothes thrown on. He stood with open arms bravely waiting. 

"Thank you for yesterday I'll never forget it."

Laying your head against his chest you took a moment to listen to his heartbeat. You could hear him sniffle and knew he was crying too.

You flashed back remembering that night long ago when he came to you homesick, holding you so he could sleep while he tried to hide his tears. There was a knock at the door and Namjoon’s voice broke through the moment.

"We’ve got to go Jungkook."

Stepping away you’d left his shirt soaked in tears, handing him his sweater he pushed it back towards you. "You keep it."

He kissed you one last time before opening the door to reveal Namjoon's weary face. His Hyung put his arm around his shoulder and led him to the car.

Turning one last time he looked back, his eyes were filled with tears as he gave a small wave before getting in the back of the big black sedan. 

For months you pretended that management was the only thing keeping you apart.

You held on to that silly notion until May when they were coming for the Billboard awards. For weeks leading up you waited for a message, a secret meeting arrangement, but you got nothing. His image was all over the TV and his voice echoed through your empty heart. Then, just like that, it was over and he was gone again. 

Now, here you stood in your kitchen, his letter bringing him to the forefront of your mind and opening old wounds.

He was just as sad as you but what could you do? 

Picking up a pen you began writing… 

I shouldn’t have done it but I read it in your letter

You said to a friend that you wish you were doing better

I wanted to reach out but I never said a thing

You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are

And honey, you don’t ever have to act cooler than you think you should

You’re brighter than the brightest stars

You’re scared to win, scared to lose

I’ve heard the war was over if you really choose

The one in and around you

You hate the heat, you got the blues

You’re changing like the weather, oh, that’s so like you

I’ll pick you up

I’ll catch you on the flipside

If you come back to California

We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever, how far

We’ll hit up all the old places

We’ll have a party, we can dance till dawn… 

Y/N

October came again and a chill was in the air, the smell of the ocean hit your nose and you stopped to take it in.

Bundled in Jungkook’s hoodie you threw your bag over your shoulder and began your walk to work. You'd gotten lucky, Movement had hired you just as you were about to give up and leave California. Filled with hope and excitement a new intensive program was scheduled to start today and you were going to meet the future superstars of the dance world. 

Memories flooded your mind as you made your way through the familiar neighborhood. It still hurt, but things were beginning to feel happy again. Writing the letter had given you closure, he knew how you felt and beyond that there was nothing else you could do.

Opening the heavy door to the studio you caught a familiar reflection moving in the mirror.  Chalk marker in hand he was writing something, It couldn’t be?

Hearing the door click back into place he turned to face you.

"Hi."

He walked towards you slowly. Unsure of what your reaction would be, he approached with caution.

"Hi."

You were breathless, in the months of not seeing him he’d only grown more handsome.

"I can’t change what happened… and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for all of the time we missed."

He was getting closer.

"But I can’t take another day not knowing if I can fix this… somehow…"

He reached for your hand but you pulled it away. His head fell in disappointment.

"Jungkook, I can’t listen to this… look at me."

Reaching for his chin you pulled his head up until he was facing you again.

"I refuse to listen to you apologize for something that is out of your control. Your life was decided before you met me and I am nothing but grateful that I got to appear in some part of your story."

He tilted his head and pressed a small kiss into the hand that was still holding his chin.

"God I’ve missed you." He wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

"How long are you here? I’ve got to teach class.. It’s the first day but I’d love it if we could catch up?"

He laughed at you and your knees buckled at the sound of his happiness.

Taking his chance he pressed his lips to yours and you could feel the smile forming on his face.

"I’m your private lesson Jagi, I’ve booked you for the next two weeks."

Taking a step back you had to ask, "How Jungkook? What will you be giving up?"

Pulling you back to his embrace he began to dance with you.

"There is no more giving up, on anything. Our contracts were over and I only had one thing I wouldn’t negotiate on, that’s you." 

He guided you to look at the mirror.

"I wrote you something."

~Please call my name one more time

I’m standing under the frozen light, 

but I’ll walk step by step towards you

Still with you ~

"I promise I’ll never let you go again."

[smallfrost]

undefined

I’ve been tracking the use of Raelle and Scylla’s musical theme episode by episode and it remains one of my favorite musical motifs throughout MFS because of how it molds to fit their scenes. See here for a list of every time it has been used throughout the season. But another thing I’ve been searching for are links to other melodies and tracks; musical Easter eggs. And I previously hypothesized that the following tracks were all tonally linked:

The first two were and are very clearly associated with Raelle, but I could never put my finger on how exactly Mother & Daughter was linked to Raelle beyond its tonality. That was until Episode 9, Coup.

While going through and tracking the use of Raylla’s theme I noticed that it was used twice to sandwich something different during their scene in the dungeon.

I loved you...

Something sandwiched between...

I chose you...

I almost missed it because it was so subtle but sounded so familiar… so where had I heard it before? Mother & Daughter. Or at least, part of it. The above video is a direct comparison of the background music from Coup and the corresponding similarity within Mother & Daughter. This is just a snippet to showcase how closely the music aligns. I encourage everyone to go back and listen to the music throughout this scene and compare the sandwiched score to that of the first half of the Mother & Daughter track from the Original Score. They are not perfectly synonymous but to me, seem too similar to be a coincidence. Note: the “second half” of Mother & Daughter is very unique and I have not heard it before. 

But what does this mean? Well, when I originally proposed Raelle’s connection to Mother & Daughter it was followed by the hypothesis “that [Raelle & Scylla’s] combined strength (stemming from their physical and emotional connection, i.e. LOVE) will be enough to call back Willa’s life essence through the kingdom of plants. Scylla will find a way for Raelle to communicate with her mother again, all while helping Raelle discover how powerful she really is.”

Do I still believe this? Well maybe not exactly, but I do believe the use of this music sandwiched between two distinctly different uses of Raylla’s theme is hinting more than ever that Raelle’s connection with Scylla will lead her to her mother. Especially because in the context of the scene, immediately following the use of this music, Raelle is wondering if the Spree picked her because her mother died and that she feels powerless. And this is exactly where Scylla tells her how powerful she really is, which is what led to the original hypothesis to begin with. (I still LOVE the idea of a “resurrection” due to their combined powers over life and death - this would be so amazing).

We have yet to hear the full Mother & Daughter track so we know it will appear in the finale. I doubt we’ll have enough time to manifest some huge “resurrection” scene with the time remaining this season, especially with Scylla still in captivity and the Bellweather unit heading on a rescue mission next episode. So, Scylla may not actually be involved physically for however Willa comes into play in the final episode (especially how it might relate to the letter Edwin gives Raelle during graduation). Perhaps we’ll see Sexy Weird Necro Palm DMs again, helping Raelle find power in their love even when apart? Or Willa will tell her to follow and trust her heart (i.e. Scylla).

There are many options and theories out there surrounding Willa. It is always possible that Willa never died. Maybe she’s the Spree mastermind and that’s why they wanted Raelle. Maybe she’s on the run, dodging. Maybe there really will be a way to commune with the dead through Necro work. I am not going to put all my apples in one apple box, but overall I’m leaning towards Mother & Daughter definitely being about Willa and Raelle. And with the music linking everything together, if feels like the connection between Raelle and Scylla is going to be important for how she comes into play.

Aside: And there is always the possibility this track is about Scylla and her mother… maybe the army lied about her being killed and this is all about mamma Ramshorn instead (the music that plays at the beginning of Raylla’s tree scene in Bellweather Season {before the Raylla theme/gift exchange} also shares the same tonality as Mother & Daughter – there they are talking about Scylla’s past and family, not Raelle’s), which could suggest that it’s Scylla’s connection with Raelle instead of the other way around. 

What do you guys think? Also, shout out to @bowerbirdboy​ for being dope and lending me a set of ears.

[onerandomadventureatatime]

I wasn’t sure what to do with how I’m feeling. So, I decided to write… Without any edits…without overthinking (as I tend to do). Ketting go (Letting go) of the need to be perfect. I make mistakes, it is okay. This is the first step in giving myself the permission to let go…completely.

Yesterday, I found out my ex had a new girlfriend. I cried. It wasn’t surprising because I was still in love with him. I didn’t want to move on, even though the break up had been months prior, a part of me was trying to become better for him. I knew that we probably weren’t going to end up together but that push that things may work out gave me comfort. Not even a year ago, I was in such a dark place after things ended. I had never had such a visceral reaction to a break up..I was lost. My family, my friends gave me the protection I needed to again put one foot in front of the other. I made it out not broken, but damn sure crippled. Limping like a mf…for months after, still being involved with each other didn’t help at all. Those breakups that are breakups but aren’t really breakups…I don’t know what I was thinking, thinking that was a good idea. For months holding on.. with the hope that one day he would see what I saw, in myself, in himself, in us…The one thing that has been a flaw of mine, is holding onto what could’ve been. I realized that sometimes we fall in love with the dream of what could be, instead of what actually is. And it’s a hell of a feeling to work through and let go of. Being in love with the future can be more dangerous than being in love itself.

So yea, when he told me, it hurt. I allowed myself to feel the pain, the anger, the sadness…I drove around listening to Burna Boy. Definitely probably scared some people driving next to me…like why is she whining in her seat while tears are poruing down…absolutely in a crazy state. (I apologize if you were one of the unfortunate drivers to witness it). But it was interesting, after about a hour…ok, honestly about 3 hours, of driving around..going nowhere…just wasting my gas..I felt a wave I didn’t expect. One of relief. He was doing what I didn’t have the strength to do…let go. And in my moment of understanding what was happening, I realized, it was setting me up to finally move on. Because it was going to have to be him to move on first.. I would’ve been by his side forever. After the years of being in his life (we met in college, when I was just a young grasshopper…I’m wiring (writing – mistake number 3 but hey who’s counting) this about to turn 28.), I couldn’t envision my life without him. It wasn’t even possible..in some ways it’s still not…not right now anyways because I haven’t fully let go. I know the day will come that I let go and it’ll get better. I romanticized who we were individually, and together for that reason. In some ways, we had the unfortunate reality of growing together. All the mistakes that come with being young, figuring out life, not knowing who you want to be, how to treat others fully…just out having fun, twerking, drinking, living young wild and free. It definitely can have consequences.

I told myself for a long time, I just wish we had met after we had figured ourselves out. We caused each other a lot of pain. As I’ve grown though (and I can tell how much I’ve grown by even making this statement), I’m so appreciative to have had him in my life. Much of who I am is because of the lessons I learned from him being in my life. Yes, it didn’t work out, but I would be lying if I said I wish we had never had the journey we had together.

To my ex, thank you. (A tear literally just rolled down as I typed that line…it could be this blues music in the background definitely isn’t helping…it really does hit different when you know your baby is no longer yours..but damn, it sure does sound good so I’m going to type through the tears…hoping that my dog doesn’t look over here like wtf is wrong with her). Thank you. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to say that and actually mean it…I know I’ve said it before after we broke up but to be honest, I had my own motives. I didn’t mean it fully. I was still in pain.. I’m still in pain now but back then it was a pain formed from anger. Now, it’s a pain centered in gratitude. I’m happy for you. I thank you for allowing me to experience you in this life. (Tears again, damn it). It’s sad the experience has come to an end but reflecting on it all, the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between, the only desire I have is to say thank you. I know you’ll be great in life – I’ll always be rooting for you from the sidelines, hersh.

Now I’ll go and figure out how to heal, truly. This starts day 1 of the 90-day journey. I’m going to journal openly each day. I know it’s therapeutic for me..in some ways because I still have an issue with vulnerability..but I’m taking a step to change. I figured you never know what someone else is going through, and I know in searching for some way out of this pain, I turned to videos and blogs. Words of strangers that resonated with me so much, I was able to find some comfort on the days that my heart hurt too much to leave the bed. If that is you, reading this, it gets better. It takes time, but it gets better. I won’t act like I have all the answers but I know now that I don’t need them. I don’t need to be perfect. All I need is to walk in faith. One foot at a time. Thank you God for leading me.

Stay tuned on this new adventure.

[grlsgen]

my favorite 2020 kpop songs

there were some bangers this year... this includes title tracks & bsides and everything else under the sun.

i always got shit to say and i always see youtube videos like this but i simply can’t edit so here we are

you never know - blackpink

okay yeah i didn’t really fw hylt or lovesick girls when i first heard them but when i listened to the album you never know really stuck with me... i never get sick of it. definitely the best track off the album imo. rosé’s prechorus has made me cry a few times ngl

alien - lee suhyun

alright miss thing... i was obsessed with this song when i first heard it... the pre chorus with the ooo ooo ooo and the switch to the chorus is so good it gets me every time. she’s cute i like her... while we’re here i’ll also mention i really liked her ost in your time for it’s okay to not be okay.. i loved that drama and that’s my fav ost from it.. but anyway

lalalilala - april

They Served. Big time. the music video is so pretty and the song was stuck in my head for 6 months straight... they really did the damn thing with this. kinda sounds like an apink song but that’s a compliment... overall this whole comeback was really good and deserved better. honorable mention : the bside on this ep you.zip is so good too

open your eyes - iz*one

this is all i listened to for months after bloomiz dropped... izone’s music is really a hit or miss for me and i didn’t really vibe with fiesta but i’m so glad i gave the album a chance because open your eyes is definitely in my top 5 releases of this year. their other bside dreamlike is really good too

the book of us : the demon - day6 album

now where do i start with this... to this day i am still obsessed with 1 to 10... like that’s gotta be the best off this album imo. zombie was so good and i really liked the lyrics. the album as a whole was really really good. i sound like a broken record

children - bvndit

oh boy... another one of my top 5 releases from this year. not only is the overall sound of this amazing but i love the lyrics too. these girls deserve so much better

d-2 - agust d/yoongi/suga mixtape

my king. i shit myself when this dropped ngl... i don’t even know how to elaborate on how much i love this. daechwita was stuck in my head for the longest time.. i think the highlights off this for me have to be people, honsool & dear my friend. this mixtape was really a moment.. i love yoongi y’all

love again - baekhyun / underwater - baekhyun

alright alright .. i put these two together since they’re from the same album idk but it took a while for candy to grow on me but i’ve loved these since i first heard them... i was Obsessed. the final bridge/chorus whatever the hell thing he does in love again put me into shock for 3 months straight and the beat in underwater is heavenly

the dream chapter : eternity - txt ep

this serve. has to be my favorite from txt yet... rookies with the best discography fr. i love dark concepts and really like that they did something different with this. can’t you see me was Amazinggg. fairy of shampoo has to be one of the best songs i’ve ever heard it’s insane. i also really liked eternally, who else has that range... Nobody. top to bottom this ep is really good, i hope they do another dark concept like this again soon bc this hit big time

eight - iu & suga

it took a while for this to grow on me but whew...when it did... kinda makes me feel like i’m in a coming of age movie and i like that, makes me nostalgic for that. eight soty, they both did great on this

# - loona ep

Now... Cmon. so what was either a hit or miss for a lot of people but something i think everyone can agree on is that the bridge is godsent. like that shit makes me cry sometimes. the music video was really good, i always come back to the subway/train scene. number 1 is also so damn good. overall i really loved this ep. they really ate with this one

eyes wide open - twice album

when i first heard this album i didn’t like it That much but it’s really grown on me lately. the whole retro trend was fun and then it got a little overdone so i was tired of it by the time this dropped but actually.. some of the bsides are insanely good. behind the mask is definitely a highlight for me, mina’s bridge is heavenly. i love mina so bad. but anyway, i can’t stop me took some time to grow on me as well but it always gets stuck in my head. i also really like up no more & depend on you, they’re cute

maybe - gidle

Y’all... i love this song. it’s short and simple but it was so addicting to me. i really like that one part in the last two choruses if you know what i’m talking about (i’m not sure who sings it ? some people say soyeon some say shuhua idk, shuhua my queen btw) and soojin’s verse in the bridge hits. to this day i’m still obsessed with this song

a song written easily - oneus

this is so underappreciated, this is easily one of my favorite title tracks released all year. i’m not a huge fan of beat drops but this one was really nice imo, i also liked the lead in before the drop and the final chorus. this was really good and i never get sick of it

wannabe - itzy

CUT THE DAMN CAMERAS.... no fr this is my #1 favorite song released this year. talented brilliant incredible amazing... itzy seriously ate up everyone with this. i keep going back to this song it’s insane. iconic choreo good mv good styling amazing song.. like everything here lined up. i don’t know how they’ll ever top this for me. definitely my soty (next to psycho)

black swan - bts

this is excellent idk what else to say. i thought it was just okay when i first heard it but it’s seriously so good, me being yoongi biased i loved that he got multiple verses but i love the do your thing with me now breakdown part too. the choreo is one of my favorite from them and the mv was really pretty. black swan is one of my favorite movies so the comparisons with it made me love this song more. overall, probably my favorite off mots7

my time - jungkook of bts

jungkook always has the best album solos fr. i loved this the second i heard it, kinda justin bieber esque but it’s so good. i love the lyrics and transition it takes thru the song. the chorus hits man.. this song always makes me a little sad but he really did amazing on this

monster - red velvet irene & seulgi ep

my queens what can i say. i was so excited for this unit and they did not disappoint. monster still hits, aged like wine. the best track is fr feel good, i still have it on repeat.. insanely good. seulgi really delivered with uncover, it’s so beautiful. i think sm’s intention was always to have a subunit this year but i thought it was smart to do while wendy was recovering, hoping for ot5 soon y’all..

never gonna dance again : act 2 - taemin album

taemin my king wtf!!! i loved criminal so i was really excited for this and of course... he always delivers. top to bottom i loved this album, he really did amazing on it. identity might be the best song i’ve ever heard... and of course i loved the collab with wendy 🙏 overall such a good album, taemin always serves the best

pporappippam - sunmi

what can i say i love a little retro tune. even though i just said earlier i was sick of it idc i loved this. sunmi always shows up, i don’t know what else to say. this song never gets old

dystopia : the tree of language - dreamcatcher album

i didn’t expect to love this album as much as i did... i don’t listen to it as often anymore but i can’t deny that scream was a major serve. every time i hear it it’s like the first time... their bside jazz bar was so good. dreamcatcher’s bsides always hit what can i say

12:00 - loona ep

Yes. why not is not necessarily my favorite title from them ever (it’s butterfly, btw) but it’s always stuck in my head... obviously i loved voice/star, was obsessed for weeks and i was happy they decided to promote it a little. styling on those stages were so cute btw. i also loved fall again from this ep, chuu sounds angelic on it. loona had some amazing cbs this year

la di da - everglow

Obsessed. i watched every stage as they dropped and listened to this every 5 seconds, Amazing. sihyeon really owned this era for me and shes my bias so of course i ate this whole thing up. this was definitely one for the books, what more can i say

literally everything gfriend released this year

this might be their best year yet for releases imo, i really liked how they tried out different concepts and sounds this year, i’ve always loved their music but the switch was refreshing yknow. crossroads was so good, i loved that mv. here we are is still on repeat almost a year later... and now APPLE. apple was so mf good. i love that they decided to do a dark concept, this song really fit them well, still obsessed w it. mago might be my least fave out of the 3 but it’s still so good. don’t even get me started on yuju in the mv.. Queen. i liked the subunits on walpurgis night, especially better me. gfriend had a really good year imo, they deserved more for it.

Anyways. that was my 2 cents.

wannabe & psycho soty

[chaoticoconut]

BARBARA GORDON HEADCANONS THAT MAKE ME SWOON!!

(and so can you!! alfkvoekfndnej does anyone get that reference anyhoo)

I couldn't NOT post these idk I was showering and then I was hit with a mf tornado of hcs about my favorite gal and I figured I'd share :))))

Barbara and Tim are actually the most potty mouthed members of the batfam, excluding Kate. Jason is close, but only when he's upset (which probably seems trivial bc he's yk always upset but I hc him a pretty chill if not bitter and snarky guy). Tim cusses more when he's tired, but he consciously tries to bite his tongue. Barbara has no remorse and cusses very casually and openly, because she sees no point in abstaining. It releases endorphins guys. Duh. She uses those ridiculous "holy heck Batman!" lines as Batgirl unless she's genuinely thrown off her game. She limits her cussing a lot as Oracle bc she's not one to offend people, and you never know. It's most definitely a civilian thing for her, and anyone who knows Babs knows she's a fucking sailor.

Her favorite food of all time is pizza. Her dream house has a brick pizza oven. She has a food blog with every pizzeria in the greater Gotham area ranked from best to worst. Her favorite of all time is the Gotham Pizza Garden, which is located in Old Gotham near the police station. Technically it's the second best pizza in Gotham, second to Gargoyle Pie Company, which is renowned for being the epitome of Gotham-style pizza and is always busy. She has a lot of memories of GPG though, and loves both pies. GPG also has an incredible Chicago style pizza, which is her second favorite type of pizza. She does however believe Gotham style is superior and thinks less of Dick for disagreeing (@blanddcheadcanons tie-in heyo!!) Very few things make Babs as happy as gourmet pizza.

She grew up watching Teenage Mutant Turtles, Powerpuff Girls, and Star Trek. They all hold a very special place in her heart. There is totally a connection between her love of pizza and TMNT and turtles and mixed martial arts. She once got the boys to go as the turtles for Halloween, with her crushing it as April.

Speaking of turtles, she's had a pet turtle named after icon Nichelle Nichols since high school. Yes, she does call her Shelly. Yes it's cliche. No she does not care. She also has a calico cat named Cornflake that Dick gave her as a birthday present. She doesn't have pet dogs until she and Dick finally settle down. She never had them growing up because her father is allergic and her mother was a devout cat lady. She's not really sure why she never got any on her own, she's just more familiar with cats. After her mom passed away, she did get a bunch of bunnies whom she and JJ named after their favorite horror movie monsters and serial killers.

She loves slasher flicks. It's a family thing. JJ was creepy about it, Jim loves the thrill, Babs loves the mythos, and her mom was never really afraid of anything and found them funny.

She inherited her mother's love for baking. She left her her cookbook, which contains an amazing mixed berry pie recipe. Her pie baking abilities rival Alfred's. She even begins to branch out with her recipes and experiment with all sorts of fillings and even cake-pies (fanfic au tie-in heyo). Everybody loves a Barbara baked good. She knows everyone's faves and literally crushes holiday season. Dick is all about the og mixed berry pie, whereas Jay, who loves lemon everything (hc I saw awhile ago that I just love) prefers either a lemon meringue or a raspberry lemon. Tim is all about strawberry open face while Steph prefers cherry cheesecake or pecan pie. Cass and Bruce both love her cinnamon apple pie. Duke loves just about anything she bakes, but especially her more adventurous, contest winning pies like kiwi-blueberry-black cherry and other originals. Kate will die for Babs' cherry pie. Damian prefers blackberry or mixed like Dick. Alfred is a sweet potato pie kind of guy himself. There's a farmer's market in Blüdhaven her mother went with her to when she was a kid that Barbara still goes to get get all the fresh fruit.

Even better than Barbara or Alfred baking alone is them baking together. Roy Harper is also a pretty good baker. They all trade recipes with Martha Kent. M'gann brings wine to the manor and assembles them all for fun days of baking.

She's also totally the type of gal who made a shit ton of cupcakes when she ran for class prez and stayed I from Batgirl duties to finish them. Just saying.

She picks baking back up as Oracle but several hero emergencies lead her to burn perfectly good desserts.

She and Roy will always have puppy-love crushes on one another and be totally oblivious. They both did ballet as kids, love baking, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, shameless empty flirting, and tech. They're completely platonic and really great lifelong friends. They met at a Wayne gala as kids.

As if she wasn't already talented enough, she's completely ambidextrous. I'm jealous. Dick and Wally are left handed. Bruce is similarly ambi. Selina's a leftie. Maybe Alfred too.

She likes to enter contests and win for fun. She's a monster. Everything from baking to video games to weight lifting, she loves showing people up.

Dick, Babs, and Tim all snore atrociously loud. The batfam hates it. She's the quietest out of them all, but she's also a blanket hog. And a major cuddler.

Her favorite colors are grey and green. Purple does deserve an honorable mention however. Her apartment is a fair mix of green and grey decor and covered in books.

She was a total ballerina growing up, just like her mom wanted. That was until she discovered how kick ass martial arts were, and she got a little too jacked to continue with ballet as a formidable career option. Her next best option is becoming a cop at this point, but her father believes that not only would it be far too dangerous but a waste of her skills (like ballet cough cough). This upsets her so much she goes off and invents Batgirl, complete with a stole grappling gun from evidence.

In college she works as a barista and excels at it. Her dream is to open up a cafe/bakery/flower shop with Dinah some day. She wants to call her half Bean Me Up Scotty! (another hc I saw and fell in love with)

Babs is also a pretty good cook being that she became the family chef at a young age (Jim can barbeque and make spaghetti. That's literally it. Maybe some breakfast). Cooking lessons from Alfred certainly helped.

Her personality is so versatile. She can get along with pretty much anyone due to her wide range of interests and skills which is what makes Oracle so bad ass. She's also a Libra so she adapts fairly easily to any group without seeming fake.

She has a podcast where she rants about tech and feminism and politics and plays video games

She SO took Latin in high school and dominated competitions. She loves classical studies and is a dork for Greek and Roman mythology as well as linguistics. She has a pretty good grasp on all of the romance languages, and learns languages fairly quickly.

She always smells like mint and books. She has killer mint shampoo and conditioner, which is a Kean family thing (they just love the scent). She always smells refreshing.

She likes coffee but prefers tea always. She's like Ramona Flowers with tea

Her music taste is total 90s nostalgia (grunge, boybands, air pop, ska, hip hop) meets far too indie 4 u. Yes she's pretentious. Yes she loves chick rock and *NSYNC and Britney and Kurt Cobain and Biggie and deal with it. She also loves shit you've never even heard of. Was totally into the Gotham punk scene as a teen.

She collects vinyl and books and horror flicks ugh hipster queen

She loves spicy food and Dick cannot stand it. They both like sour candy though

If your Barbara Gordon didn't graduate high school at 16 she doesn't have rights

She was all of the Robin's first crush. Duh. Tim will always think she's the gold standard of women. He likes that she usually sticks up for him. He doesn't mind being seen as her male equivalent lmao

At some point Jay and Babs are roommates and it's literally the best I'll talk abt that later

Her type is guys with dark hair or blonde gals.

[darlingnisi]

Celebration Day 3 : VIP Edition

Part 2 Here!

Funk Soldiers Panel

Shelby J

Kat Dyson

Xavier Taplin

Joey Rayfield

Kip Blackshire

About Last Night... (The Prince on the Big Screen event)

A lot of reherasal

Kirk organized everyone, got the materials out

Biggest challenge was that there were a lot of performers who worked with P at different times so the arrangements of the songs were often different. Hard to sync up with the show or pick the right one to use at first

Shelby said it was hard not to turn and look at him on the screen

The fludidity of the performance came with experience because they knew what P expected of them musically

Kat said “having him in my ear floated me back to my time with him” The instructions he gave inside of the performance still applied

Joey noted that he better understood the difference between just playing and performance from his time with Prince

“I almost forgot he wasn’t there”

Kat Dyson Origin Story (Guitar)

Recommended by Sheila E. Kat and Rhonda Smith met Sheila while demoing gear at an industry show. Sheila asked for their music as she had an idea to do an all girl band at the time. She got sick and gave their info to P. P took them both on.

Their audition was a four hour jam session in 96. P asked Kat “How much of my material do you know...and how much did you buy?”

Her favorite P music are the soundtracks, especially Batman and her favorite songs are Joy of Repetition and Question of You.

She and Rhonda did an arrangement for Question of You for him.

Xavier Taplin Origin Story (Organ)

Played with and was reccomend by Gouche, another NPG member

Audition was P on Bass and Job Blackwell on Drums. They played 777-9311 and P had him solo for 60 bars. He fell back into the groove and P told him to keep going...fell back into the groove again...and P told him to keep going. P put his bass down, walks over to  Xavier, and stands “uncomfortably close for 15 seconds just looking at me” he then says “We’re going to have a lot of fun.”

Joey Rayfield (Trombone)

Gets a call from Adrian Crutcfield about an audition in Charolette North Carolina. Gets PDF of a chart for Xtraloveable and realizes it’s for Prince

They have a Skype audition.

Time passes and he randomly got an email with a Delta ticket to Minneapolis. He quit his job and left for Paisley.

At first played on Andy Allo’s Supeconductor sessions.

Story : during a rehearsal P slowly walks up to the stage and says “You and Ida go play ping pong and if you win, I’ll play you. Joey wins and plays Prince. Joey’s in his dress shoes though and is slipping and sliding everywhere. P stops the game, moves a rug to be under Joey and says “I ain’t got no insurance.”

Story from Kat : I played basketball with him. Nobody told me not to block his shot. The game was over after that.

Kip : I was playing with him in the Daisy Chain video.

Kip Blackshire Origin Story (Vocals)

Morris Hayes invited him to a Carlos Sananta show and Jam session at Paisley. Kip absently playing basketball. Hears a “clang” (P dropping his guitar). P comes over and squares up with Kip. Kip passes P the ball, and P checks him hard in the stomach with it. Kip says he isn’t dressed to play and P tells him to come back the next day to play for real. The next day they play a 2 on 2 game. Kirk/Prince vs. Morris/Kip.

Was cleaning up in the bathroom and absently singing. P overhears and invites him to sing with them in the studio. P asks him if he knows Little Red Corvette and Kip says “I wasn’t allowed to listen to you growing up.” Instead P played guitar and Kip answered his licks with his voice. He was invited to join the band and the first song he sang on was Undisputed from Rave.

Shelby J Origin Story (Vocals)

Audition for Larry G’s band. Got in and was at 3121 doing a rehearsal. Kept being told to re-sing Higher Ground. It was P asking.

Was singing I Can’t Stand the Rain during a show. Crowd goes wild and she thought she was “DOING IT!” turns out P had come on stage behind her and was plugging up his guitar to join them. He came up to her mic and sang cheek to cheek with her for that song.

Was in Walmart getting supplies at home when she got invited to sing at one of his shows NYE. From there she was asked to join the band and their next gig was the Superbowl.

Arrangement Panel with Michael B Nelson

Had done work with Micheal Bland. There was an idea for a warm up group early 90′s. Dave and Kathy Jenson with Michael B Nelson, Sonny, and Tommy B made up a 5 piece band. They recorded some tracks and sent it to P. P told them to go to a Carmen Electra rehearsal to be filmed. Time passes asked to come to the soundstage at Paisley...saw pedal boards set up P was there! NPG was very tight at this time so P just held up a signal and they started into Madhouse 4. The horns were shocked for a moment then fell in (this was their audition). They jammed for 6 hours then recorded for the first time that same day....Sexy MF? (This may be wrong...he mentioned that they recorded for the first time that day, then a moment later said the first thing they recorded was Sexy MF as part of a different story so...take that how you will)

Told to get their passports together. They joined him on the Diamonds and Pearls tour

There were 11 semi trucks and 110 people in the entourage for the D&P tour. Their first stop with him was Tokyo

Hornheads was formulated as a horns only group since they were on with P and couldn’t play with anyone else, they just made a mini group to keep their chops up during down time. Mike Nelson wrote the tunes and they have 3 albums.

“Even when he was giving you a hard time, he’s just pushing you”

Q: What was it like during the 90′s? Every office was filled. He gave you exactly what you needed to fufill a task. You didn’t ask for additional questions...you had to trust yourself and know that he trusted you to use your creativity wisely.

Prince preferred Duke Ellington’s style of horns

P would send Mike tapes of a lead line and melody and Mike would add horn parts.

Mike did Black Muse, new Xtraloveable, When She Comes, Groovy Potential, Morning Papers and more (He’s been around for about 25 years)

Percentage of things recorded to released of the work Mike did. 50%

He co-wrote Billy Jack Bitch. While they were working on something, Mike played P a song during tape change. P said “Who do I have to pay to use that” The instrumental part of Billy Jack Bitch was written by Mike.

Story : Working on something and Mike B was impressed with how it sounded. Forgot everything he said could be heard in the control room by P. Commented “man that is funky” P responds “yes it is.”

Story : Tenor sax was playing a solo while working on something and it didn’t go well. When it was done, from the control room P says “You guys see Waterworld?” Tenor sax guy “No who’s in it” Prince, “Your mama” Tenor sax guy, “Oh it’s good to know she’s getting work!” “Prince falls off his chair from laughing” (Waterworld has a reputation for being a very bad movie.)

Q: Why did you last? P told him “You and Clare Fischer really understand my music.” Was asked to be full time in 2012. He never had a falling out or harsh words with P and P never rejected any of his additions to his songs.

Got our pictures from our tour back. Framing mine for sure! It’s like my 5th picture in here and the only good one, lol...

Funk Soldiers Concert

Honesty we were all kind of weary about this as this seemed to be a remix of the NewPower Soul group to some degree...or at least that concept, but once again VERY happy to be completely checked about the assumption because they were PHENOMENAL and not just because of something that happened...! Set list : 

I’m Yours

I Feel For You

Party Man

Girls and Boys

Lady Cab Driver/Irresistible Bitch mashup (!)

1+1+1 is 3 (I LOST. MY. MIND. YA’LL KNOW THAT ONE NIGHT ALONE TIME PERIOD IS MY COMPLETE FAVORITE AND NOBODY DOES COVERS OF THOSE SONGS AND IT WAS SO GOOD!)

The Work Part 1 (I WAS ABSOLUTELY DELIRIOUS! AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS MY ERA AND NOBODY DOES THIS! I was so into it singing, foot stomping and dancing, I got tapped by security and they asked if I want to go on stage! I 100% always say I’d never do it, but I thought I’d get to jam out to The Work since that goes on for a bit. I got back stage and they said I was to be part of a dance battle (WHAT?! I LEGIT AM THE MOST RESERVED PERSON USUALLY ABSOLUTELY NOT! (And also I guess for The Professor, lol) So me and Lenny Beason (from Purple Underground who thankfully I mostly know in real life so I was comfortable) were to battle to...

Black Sweat (Kip told me to go first so I tried to do every dance I could think of...The Housequake, The Get Off dance, Tried to remember the Purple Funk SF Funknroll dance but my mind blanked so I did some booty pops and stopped on the accents with a pose. Lenny went during the next chorus...then I had to go again. Shelby said I’m her funk sister now and we got T-shirts! My heart was beating so fast ya’ll! It pays to love The Rainbow Children! LOL!

Chelsea Rodgers

Xtraloveable (AGAIN A DREAM COME TRUE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HEAR THIS LIVE WITH THESE GUYS DOING THE HORNS!)

Big City

Welcome 2 the Dawn (SO glad they did this instead of Purple Rain! Amazing choice! A Great song!)

Paisley Park

All the Critics Love You in New York/Housequake Jumps

Alphabet Street (Sheila E came out and crowd surfed for a bit)

Very good job! They were very tight, funky, and kept everyone’s spirits WAY up, especially with the EXCELLENT choice of Welcome 2 the Dawn being the only slow song.

This day was the 21st and honestly it was a BLUR. Even if I hadn’t gotten chosen by Ghost Prince to go up, the experience the band gave us with their energy and love made it hard to be sad this day. For me, interestingly I had a harder time on the 20th seeing him up there at the Big Screen event and with all the news that came out on the previous Thursday...did stay in bed for a bit that day to be honest...but “the day” was so full of just AMAZING like he legit came down like “ya’ll don’t cry for me...look at all this that I left behind for you to enjoy!” This day was was distracting with so much information followed by such an explosive show! Everyone was on their feet dancing, singing, hands in the air, just the whole time!

I’m very glad the days for the arena event got switched because it honestly would have been too much for me if it fell on this day...

Last part here!

[jaimeshanice]

Random Rant: I feel like constantly biting my tongue is really starting to take it’s toll on me. Within the past couple of years, I’ve been training myself to not speak up when I feel a certain way about something and perfect the art of repression. It’s fucking hard. It’s hard as hell trying to remain indifferent without offending the other person because you don’t want to hear their fucking mouth. But I have to remind myself that there’s a reason I started doing this in the first place. And the reason remains: other people can’t take ANY form of criticism or opinions and the feeling of repressing your emotions is a trillion times better than the feeling of someone attacking you/screaming at you for the way you feel.

It’s so irritating because ten years ago, I was diagnosed with depression. One thing I learned is that talking to people in your life only makes it worse. The best thing to do is find outlets and things that make you happy, and then latch on to them like there’s no tomorrow. Which is what I tend to do. Every year around my birthday, my depression tends to hit harder for the weeks leading up to it along with the weeks after and I’m still in that hole since mine just passed February 23rd. So my outlets and things I like are my EVERYTHING right now.

So here’s why I’m so pissed off. I was just minding my business when someone had the nerve, the MF NERVE to say to me that me watching Wild N Out and music videos I watch annoy them. Really? Here’s why this is an extra STUPID fucking complaint. I don’t watch these things around other people, only in my room. When I go in the livingroom to do my makeup to get ready for work, I change it to something that works for the other people in the room as well as myself. I’d recently hit play on a music video while I was setting up my area to do my makeup and then went to wash my face. Of course, since I’m not in the room, I can’t control what video comes on after what. But I wasn’t gone that long, it could have only played one or two videos in the time I was washing my face. Not much right?

Skip forward to after my makeups done and I head back to my room. I come out of my room and I’m chit chatting with (we’re gonna make up a name and them Ben) Ben and they say to me, “I don’t like your Wild N Out and hip hop music videos. Mind you, I DID NOT PLAY WILD N OUT. There was at the most, three videos played between the one I put on, and maybe one or two playing after I left the room. Why are you bitching? So I said, “sorry. I was just playing random videos for background sound.” Then Ben says, “Id rather you put on something else because I don’t like the videos. They’re stupid and annoy me.”

PAUSE! Time for a random rant inside of this one because that made me maaaaadddd. One of the things I complain about the most, is when people talk shit about something you very obviously like. People aren’t going to love the same things, that’s fine. But I fucking HATE when people talk like your interests are trash. Just say, “that’s not my taste” or something. But I can’t fucking stand when assholes are like, “I hate that show, it’s fucking stupid. I don’t know how anyone watched it, it’s so dumb.” Why can’t people just let other people enjoy things? Why do they have to be so negative about things that don’t affect them? The most infuriating part about Ben saying this, is that I talk to Ben all the time about how much I hate when people do this and they say they hate when people do it too. YOU’RE DOING THE THING YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT WTF

Alright, back to our regularly scheduled program. So after Ben said they didn’t like the ‘stupid’ videos, I said, “well, I didn’t put those on. I can’t control what comes on after I leave the room. It’s on random. It’s youtube.” Then Ben says, “well I don’t like it.” So I said, “sorry, but I can’t control youtube.” Then I said, “I haven’t watched Wild N Out in the livingroom a single time since I’ve been watching it. I only watch it in the room.” Then Ben says, “I know.” Uhhhh, then why the FUCK are you complaining? Yes, there may have been two or three times where I showed Ben a few second clip of the show, but that’s it. I hardly think that’s enough to make it sound like you can’t escape the fucking show. And I even pointed out that Ben used to love the show because we used to watch it together and they were just like, “I know.” Fucking whatever.

It’s so much more irritating than I think it should be. If this was a new roommate, I don’t know that I’d be this upset. But it really annoys me that this person has the nerve to complain about what I watch, because this person does nothing but repeat the same thing. In the past few months, I’ve watched multiple new shows and true crime stories on youtube. I bounce around what I’m watching every couple of hours. But this person has been watching pretty much the same show with the exception of a couple of movies and random episodes and that’s it. Ben only talks about this one show and it’s 9/10 gonna be what’s on the tv when I come out of my room. Do I complain? No. Ben shows me clips of this show ALL THE TIME and I don’t understand most of it cause I don’t watch it. But Ben is so excited and I don’t want to ruin that for them. So I act like I’m equally as excited and don’t complain. But I’ve been watching Wild N Out for literally a week and have played a couple of music videos and already have someone in my ear complaining??? If I matched this timeframe up to how much this person is repeating their shit, I would have had to complain over a hundred times. That makes me so mad because I’m not bitching, I’m minding my business, but of course, that’s never enough.

Also, if you’ve ever been annoyed by someone who repeats the same songs, you haven’t seen anything yet. This person also has a playlist that’s on repeat so much, I can practically guess ALL of the songs on it. Yea, I repeat some songs here and there on my playlists, but I switch it up depending on my mood for the day. But Ben has also complained about being annoyed because I play the same songs all the time. The only time someone would hear my music is when I’m in the shower cause it plays on my phone. But on a playlist of 60 songs that I manipulate every time I play it, you’re only gonna hear a couple songs repeat and most will be different for the day. However, Ben can listen to the same songs over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Certain songs I hate with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns. Hearing them once is brutal, let alone 10 times a day over months. But of course, my shower playlist would be what needs to be bitched about.

It’s just so frustrating because due to my depression, I really latch on to the things that I like and I know I can get obsessed. When I see something new that I like, I latch on to it. If I see a new movie I love, I’ll talk about it nonstop for a week and I know it gets annoying. But it hurts that my few days of obsession is constantly being scrutinized but other people can proudly overdo it for months and it’s fine. I don’t have anything besides my possessions and tv shows/movies. So when people come out of nowhere and talk shit about them, I take it personally because that’s my outlet for my depression. It’s the thing that keeps me AWAY from the thoughts of suicide. I know it’s silly, but I don’t have anyone I can talk to so all I have is these things.

It just upsets me so much because, these comments came out of nowhere. Literally nowhere. We were talking about FOOD and then Ben is just like, “I don’t like blah blah blah” and talking shit. Like, dude, this isn’t even the conversation right now. If I’d asked your opinion, it’d be one thing. But I didn’t. It was a come out nowhere, talk shit for no reason comment. And it fucking upset me because my depression is still in that birthday wave so I’m feeling worse than I already do and then someone has to shit on one of the things making me feel better.

And it’s worse because I can’t voice how I feel about it to this person. Technically, I can. But realistically, I’d get so much shit for it that it’s not worth it. If Ben said, “I don’t like your show, it’s stupid and it annoys me” and then I responded with, “well I’m tired of you repeating the same show for MONTHS”. . . . . . . . . . .NOPE. I’d catch so much shit for that. I’d probably get an earful of, “THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY” blah blah blah

It’s just a combination of unnecessary negativity along with hypocrisy so it’s just like ugh. Sometimes I just want to say, “can I please like what I like without someone always needing to say something negative?” But then Ben would be like, “I was just saying how I feel.” And then Ben would act calm for ten second and then start slamming doors and being dramatic so it’s just like ugh

Whatever, this had a vision and now it’s a ramble. I just figured I’d start documenting things on here again until I start a bullet journal that way if I ever see a mental health professional, I have something to look back on.

I’m not even gonna proofread this long ass thing. I just hope it makes sense to me in the future.

[mindless21]

ok Lover has me shook

So yes, in the last couple of hours since the release of Taylor’s seventh, wonderfully written, and fully OWNED album I’ve scattered and listened for my favorite parts of each song and decide to share because it is necessary ok????cool here we go. 

ps. the songs are not in order because I am a mess and it shows LLOOOOOLLL

False God. (13)

religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false God, we’d still worship. We might get away with it. The altar is my hips.

I know heaven is a thing. I go there when you touch me honey, hell is when I’m fighting with you.

first of all I need an ambulance because when Taylor references anything sexual it does things to me cause OMG YES MAAM. The altar part had me ON THE FLOOR and the heaven and hell made me a new person.

Paper Rings. (8)

I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays, wrap your arms around me baby boy

When I got home I tried to stalk you on the internet, now I’ve read all the books beside your bed.

Now I wake up at night and watch you breath.

You’re the one I want; in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dream (in all my dreams)

this songs makes me SOFT ok ???? the little insights we get about her relationship make feel I don't know lucky?? like I know she is sharing this with the whole world but still?? like how sweet is this ??? like she went from wanting to know everything about him after they met to now knowing all of the books he reads in his spare time. I can't handle this my poor HEARTTTTT

Cornelia Street. (9)

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go.As if the streetlights pointed in an arrowhead, leading as home.

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends. I’d never walk Cornelia street again. That’s thinking of heartbreak time could never mend. 

Barefoot in the kitchen, sacred new beginnings that became my religion, listen.

So barefoot in the kitchen ???? Im sorry but after the master piece that is All Too Well I’ve realized that to Tay Tay kitchens are internet places she shares sweet moments with people she loves and the fact that they're barefoot?? just shows how at home and intimate that moment is. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner thx. 

London Boy. (11)

But something happened, I heard him laughing. I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent. They say home is where the heart is but thats not where mine lives (but god I love the English)

Like a child when our eyes meet. Darling I fancy you.

So I guess the rumors are true. You know I love a London boy.

first of all. IS THAT HIM AT THE BEGINING ???? cause maam i know understand the accent thing good lord. Second. I know she loves him but the fact that she plainly says it in a song??? im crying and so so happy for her. LASTLY how does one stay calm after taylor swit writes a song about you like that?? like i need to know hoe Joe reacted cause holy shit. ALSO THIS SONG IS SUCH A BOP.

Death by a Thousand Cuts. (10)

Cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby.

But if the story is over why I’m I still writing pages?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love. I’m still trying to find a part of me you didn't touch.

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from my paper thins plans. 

Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough. But I’ll be alright, It’s juts death by a thousand cuts.

her mind y'all. her lyrics??? even more so. like the way taylor writes just amazes me, the way she puts words together that hurt ?? that make you smile?? and cry?? that woman has a gift and is A gift. also guys. the writing pages part touched my little heart. cause i felt that. 

Afterglow. (15)

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.

Why’d I have to break what I love so much?

I’m the one who burned this down. But it’s not what I meant. Sorry that I hurt you, I don't wanna do this to you, I don't want to lose this with you. 

It’s so excruciating to see you low, just want to lift you up and never let you go.

Tell me I am all you want, even when I break your heart.

this song broke my heart a little. so much damn vulnerability in these lyrics give me chills. she's so open and i HURTTTT. like he's in pain and she's in pain because of that and now im in pain because of them and once again crying and omg what’s new. nothings new. Im crying over one of taylor’s songs again.

Daylight. (18)

I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye.

I wounded the good, but trust the wicked. Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke.

I can still see it all in my mind. All of you, all of me intertwined. I once believed love would be black and white. But it’s golden

I can still see it all in my head. Back-and-Forth from New York, sneaking in your bed. I once believed that love would be burning red like its golden.

I want to be defined by the things I love not the things I hate. Not the things that I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.

I just think that You Are What You Love.

the fact that this song is what closes the album makes me emo. its such a wonderful conclusion and such and explanation of the last couple of years and the reference to RED??? I was NOT prepared. Also the last line tugged at my heart strings because I believe that with every little fiber of my being.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince. (7)

American Glory faded before me, Now I’m feeling hopeless.

My team is losing, battered and bruising. I see the high fives between the bad guys.

Boys will be boys then. Where are the wise men? Darling, I’m scared.

Cause I know this is a fight, that some day we’re gonna win.

y'all. I am so so so proud of the fact that Taylor now uses her platform to speak about what she believes is right and wrong. she no longer story quiet. she backs up her people and advocates and that is so so so important in todays world. because people listen, and people watch and sometimes they need that someone to speak up so they can know whats happening out there. and the political message of this song got me. America is a mess, and as a person that lives in one its states im scared. but this song gives me hope. cause eventually we will win. we will see the light. and i can't wait for that day. also the boy will be boys?? shit that got me. screw that excuse.

Soon You’ll get Better. (12)

In doctor’s office lighting I didn't tell you I was scared.

Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too.

And I say to you, ohh soon you’ll get better, ohh you get better soon, cause you have to.

I know delusion when I see in in the mirror.

You make the best of a bad deal, I just pretend it isn't real.

I hate that I make this all about me. But who I’m I supposed to talk to? What I’m I supposed to do? If there is no you.

Im sorry. But as someone that has lost her dad thanks to an illness this made me sob. I don't think I’ve cried this hard since the last time I listen to Ronan. holy damn. I am so glad Andrea is better because the pain of losing a parent beats every hear break. But with every lyric I related a little more, and maybe not the part where she got better but wow. It got me and it broke me na made me a little happy. Taylor this was beautiful. thank you.

It’s Nice to have a Friend. (17)

20 questions, we the the truth.

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand.

Call my bluff, call you babe. Have my back, yeah, everyday.

this song was so sweet and simple with so much of that child innocence that it  makes me wish I had simple teenage years and not the mess they were looooll, This song is truly so sweet guys, like cotton candy sweet. 

You Need to Calm Down. (14)

Say it in the street thats a knock out, but you say it in a tweet thats a cop out.

But I’ve learned the lesson that stressing and obsessing about somebody else is no fun.

You need to calm down, you're being too loud.

And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate. Because shade never made anybody less gay.

this song is savagery and I LOVE IT. yeah you call people out Taylor, cause holy damn this was great. I took me a minute to get the fast parts but guys i got it downnnn and the song makes me JAMMMM. You go queen Taylor, you’ve won your crown, ily.

Me! (16)

Baby doll, when It comes to a lover I promise that you’ll never find another like me.

I know I tend to make it about me. I know you never get just what you see, but I will never bore you baby. 

And when we had that fight out in the rain, you ran after me and called my name. I never want to see you walk away.

Living in Winter, I am your Summer.

This song gave me such a laugh when it first came out, its freaking awesome (get it ????) but guys did the ran after me and called my name gave me such Mine vibes that I had to go and watch the video after cause damn. I love when lyrics bring me back to old albums, specially when the songs have two completely different tones in the story telling side.

I Forgot that You Existed. (1)

Lived in the shade you were throwing till all of my sunshine was gone.

Your name on my lips. tongue tied. Free rent living in my mind.

I forgot that you existed. And I though that it would kill me but it didn't. 

I forgot that you existed. It isn't love, it isn’t hate its just indifference. 

Sent me  a clear message, taught me some hard lessons. I just forgot what they were.

THIS SONG IS SUCH A MOOD yallllll, like byeee you hurt me? were my friend once??? tried to play me ???? CHAUUUU ADIOOSS like wow this not only a bomb but can easily be an anthem. Also I love shady taylor.

Cruel Summer. (2)

What doesn't kill me, makes me want you more.

And it’s new, the shape of your body, its blue. The feeling I got and it’s ooh.

No rules in a breakable heaven but, ooh. It’s a cruel summer with you.

I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone.

And I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you.

And I scream “For what it’s worth” “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” He looks up grinning like a devil.

A MF BOP OK???? the ohhhs had be screaming and the lyrics had me grinning. Also i need background .... secrets ??? what was he lying about??? and was her first i love you this dramatic ??? who knows, but I am so enthralled. Also its been decided that breakable heaven equals new scared oasis and OMG. Also the color blue has been mentioned so many times in this album anyone know what kind of easter egg that is ??? cause I’m lost.  like is it about Joe’s eyes?? cause honey honestly same. 

Lover. (3)

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years.

Can we always be this close? forever and ever?

I’ve love you 3 summers now honey, but I want them all.

With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

My heart has been borrowed and your has been blue. All’s well that ends well to end up with you.

And you’ll say all of your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table I’ll save you a seat.

mark my words. the day i get married this will be what i dance to on my first dance. if my spouse doesn't like it we are just gonna have to settle and do it anyway. this song is so timeless and the lyrics so soft, like i feel like i’m in love and so single. like c’mon lets dance around in the kitchen in the refrigerator light to this song because i am in my FEEELSSSSSS. (also y'all the reference to her scars from writing all those heart breaking songs??? i need to hug her.)

The Man. (4)

They’d say I played the field before I found someone to comment to, and that would be okay for me to do. Every conquest I had made made would make me more of a boss to you.

I’s be a fearless leader, I’s be an alpha type.

Wondering if I’s get here quicker If I was man.

I’m so sick of them coming at me again, cause if I was a man I’s be The Man

If I was flashing my dollars I’s be a bitch not a baller. They paint me out to be bad, so it’s okay that I’m mad.

BIG DICK ENERGY TAYLOR. y'all she’s so not wrong, 75% of the shot she has gotten about what she does she would have gotten praises for if she was a dude. i love love love how she is calling sexism out in this song.as much as it is progressive times and what not she is explaining the kind work we live in to those that don’t understand and YESSSS BAD BITCH TAY. WE STAN. (we have for 13 years but ya know who is counting)

The Archer. (5)

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.

I never grew up, it’s getting so old. 

All of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you.

Cause all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you. 

Who could ever leave me darling? But who could stay? you could stay.

This song omg.... the music makes me melt first of all, and then the lyrics break me. like she is so clearly explain that she's doing all she can not lose him. explains how her best friends have betrayed her and how the people she had high regard for also hurt her and omg so open and honest my heart bleedddss. The heroes part also makes me feel like she's telling him that she sees him as one of her heroes which is why she asking for help to not lose him (i could be reaching buuttt) and I don't know how to deal with my emotions right now. 

I Think He Knows. (6)

I think he knows that his hands around a cold glass, make me wanna know that body like it’s mine.

want to see what’s under that attitude. I want you, bless my soul.

I think he knows he better lock it down or I won't stick around ‘cause good ones never wait.

He is so obsessed with me, and boy I understand. 

yallllll this songgggg. the innuendo ??? i love ittttttt. also I love the fact that she knows her worth. That she finally understand who she is in a relationship and is able to realize that she is a good one, that if she is not happy she can leave. AND THAT AMKES ME SO PROUD CAUSE TAYLOR YOU ARE SO AMAZING.

And thats the end of it folks. I waited so long for this album... had so many count downs and bless me for living in Hawaii were I go the album on the 22 at 6pm thanks to time differences. 

CONCLUSION: LOVER IS A MASTER PIECE AND EVERY SINGLE SONG IS SO AMAZING AND THERES NOT A SINGLE SONG BEING SKIPPED WHEN LISTENING.

[joneswilliam72]

"I believe in having no regrets in life..." - Meet Stormi Maya and David Vaughn of the satirical sex robots tale 2050

Technology is a double-edged sword. It was designed to improve humanity's lot by making our lives easier, and in many ways it has – just look at advances in medical technology or even your smart phone, how many devices did it replace all in one mini computer in your pocket?

Yet, technology also has enabled the worst drives of humanity. Tragedies like the Holocaust and devices like the Atomic Bomb are unequivocal proof of that. Still with certain other types of technology, we are not yet sure of the scope of the impact on humanity as a whole. For instance, we simply do not know enough yet – scientifically speaking – to say how damaging social media really can be or whether too much screen time will always turn people into head cases. We’re getting closer to understanding, but the science is anything but settled.

Still, the questions entailed in looking at this issue are also quintessentially existential. Director Princeton Holt's thoughtful, romantic, sci-fi, satire 2050 tackles these issues from that very human direction. In it, Dean Cain plays Maxwell, a purveyor of perfectly obedient and submissive sex robots who gets his claws into struggling family man Michael Greene (played by 2050 producer and co-writer David Vaughn).

Michael was seduced by Maxwell's sex robot parlor precisely because of what is being offered: perfect obedience without him having to put forth any effort of his own. All of the upside, seemingly none of the down. But is a relationship with one of Maxwell's robots – specifically Quin, played by creative force of nature, artist, musician, emcee, model, actress, producer, writer, and director Stormi Maya (She's Gotta Have It Season 2) – enough to displace anything human? What does that question and its implications have to say about the human condition and our growing technological dependencies?

2050 probes all these questions in a smart, thought-provoking, and elegant way – while not mincing on the satirical side of its essence as a film. Check out the film's website here for release information as it makes its way on the theater circuit this spring. Also, enjoy the separate interviews below with Stormi Maya and David Vaughn.

David Vaughn as Michael Greene in this still from 2050.

Stormi Maya as Quin in this still from 2050.

Stormi Maya

Hello Stormi and welcome to The 405! To start things off, what initially attracted you to 2050?

When I saw the casting the concept instantly intrigued me. To play a robot was something I'd never thought I play and it was a challenge that excited me. I am always attracted to super unique and creative things.

You did it very well, 2050 was intriguing to watch in no small part because of your contribution. What was it like getting into the head space of Quin?

It was crazy to play Quin because in acting you're supposed to have emotion and be relatable. Quin is not human so I had to have no emotions and act extremely non-human.

That's interesting and actually gets into a related question I had: what were the other challenges like?

It was interesting to go into a state of no emotion and to act like I didn't understand certain human problems and emotions. It was fun though.

That's fantastic. Any funny or memorable moments that stick out from the process of filming?

The sex scenes were very new to everyone – it was the director's first one and for myself and the other actor, so it was a little awkward and new, but everyone was extremely professional and respectful. Also our lunches and breaks were amazing: it was full of laughter, jokes and great stories. We really bonded.

Interesting. Those scenes do arguably form a lot of the core of what 2050's story is, with its tremendous social commentary on technology, dependence, and relationships. What do you hope audiences will take away with them from the film?

The film is a satire of how we are so dependent on technology that we are losing human connections and I hope people grasp that.

Me too. The message is very timely with all the new findings science has on the effects of technologies like social media on humanity.

Stormi Maya. Pic courtesy of Stormi Maya.

Switching gears a bit, to a question I put to most everybody: what films, directors, actors and/or performances have shaped you as an artist?

I love Pam Grier because she’s a strong black woman who embraces her sexuality and sexual power… I am inspired by Eartha Kitt – she was extremely intelligent, knowing multiple languages and holding many talents. I also admire her energy, she was sassy, strong and someone you could not push over.

Pam Grier and Eartha Kitt are fantastic. I loved Grier especially in Tarantino’s Jackie Brown and, of course, her earlier work like Foxy Brown. She has a presence about her, an x factor, which you also have Stormi. You are insanely multi-talented: model, actress, writer, director, musician, a theatre background. Any advice for people out there? How do you balance all those things so well?

I believe in having no regrets in life, I want to do everything my heart desires and everyone should try doing that in life at least once before dying. The key to balancing many things is to do them stress free, have moments where you focus all your energy on one skill and build on it; also, truly love and enjoy what you do and it will not feel like work . My talents and skills over all are all related – it's art. That's why it's easy for me to transition back and forth. If your various careers are related or similar you can easily work on them simultaneously.

I have great respect for people with the boldness and ability to do that. Speaking of art, what artists and works of any discipline or media have really influenced you?

Spike Lee is a huge influence – his talent, dedication and drive. I was blessed to work with him on SGHI2. I'm also a huge fan of Frida Kahlo; I love her feminism, her rebellious spirit and her rawness.

Spike is great – so is Frida, I'm a big fan of the symbolism and surrealism of her work.

Stormi Maya. Pic courtesy of Stormi Maya.

It saddens me BlacKkKlansman didn't get Best Picture when it clearly deserved it. Not just because of its message either – it was great entertainment, a compellingly-told good versus evil story with Sgt. Stallworth versus the Klan, I thought. Those are things that to me define a truly great film – it has to be entertaining and suck you in.

Which naturally leads to our next question, what makes a great film?

Rawness. The art being valued over the commercial. I like films that make me feel like I'm truly there. Draw me in.

Me too. If I can't suspend my disbelief and forget I'm watching a movie, I'm done. Might as well turn it off. With 2050 I had no trouble getting lost in the film because the story, acting, and satirical value were all strong.

Our last question Stormi, what's next for you? Will we be seeing more directing and writing from you? Cattle: The Cult was interesting to say the least, but it felt like it's an idea that needs more exploring in perhaps a feature film.

I am a rapper /emcee so I’m focusing a lot on my music now and going on tour soon, performing all over the world. She's Gotta Have It season two is coming in the summer and you'll see me on the Netflix screen as Yennifer Clemente. I'm always filming and you'll definitely see more movies of mine soon.

________________________________________________________________________________

Stormi's socials can all be found at the links here: Instagram, Twitter, music YouTube channel, other YouTube channel, Facebook. Head over to her website here to see the full version of her short film Cattle: The Cult after checking out the trailer below along with the music video to her song "STFU" in her Instagram post embedded below.

CATTLE: THE CULT (2018) trailer.

View this post on Instagram

Yo ! Storm Chasers ! ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️☔️Link In Bio My New Single “STFU” available on all platforms @itunes @spotify @tidal @applemusic @youtube etc • Producer @donaldrcole • • Directed/Film/Edited @donaldrcole Sound Engineer @lexwiththerecords • Cover Art @calebartxero • • #music #stormimaya #stormi #afro #black #musicvideo #musicproducer #musicians #rap #rapper #rappers #rapping #femalerapper #femalemc #female #dj #hiphop #hiphopmusic #hiphopblog #hiphopculture #hiphopartist #beats #itunes #spotify #artist #actress

A post shared by ⚡️tormi MF Maya (@stormimaya) on Apr 2, 2019 at 11:06pm PDT

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Still from 2050.

David Vaughn

Hello David and welcome to The 405! To start things off, what attracted you to 2050 and initially inspired you on the project? I know you are one of the credited writers and a producer in addition to lead actor.

What initially sparked this project was simply a need to produce a genre movie that was marketable. The idea itself came from an article that Princeton [Holt] read and subsequently sent to Brian [Ackley] and myself. It made the claim that by the year 2050 humans and robots would be in fully functioning romantic relationships.

Interesting.

All we had to do then was imagine what that world would look like. While it was a collaborative effort in creating the story, Brian did a fantastic job of actually writing the script. For me the biggest attraction to 2050 was the opportunity to not only be a lead on the project but to also produce at the same time. My inspiration came from my love of the genre, and Princeton's continuous enthusiasm for pushing creative limits on a budget. I wouldn't have been able to do what I did without his constant reminder that we are in this to create and not to settle.

Love that ethos, "low budget high concept." What was your individual and the collective creative process like as the film was being written?

It was a very collaborative effort. We would brainstorm about the story, characters, relationships, etc then Brian would put it into writing. After he had a draft ready, we would all read it, and start the process over again until we had a story that we all agreed was ready to produce. It wasn't easy. The three of us have very different tastes and styles, so I believe that what we ended up with is the most universal version that we could have made.

Awesome when those things click. What were the other challenges like?

Like all indie movies, we had many challenges to overcome. There were time constraints, budgetary deficits, locations falling through at the last minute, talent pulling out at the last minute – if it could go wrong it did. Murphy's Law was in full effect.

That sucks David. But yeah these things do tend to happen with film generally.

On the other hand we had amazing friends and support staff who worked their asses off to make sure that we would always land on our feet. Princeton and I would always be up until 2 or 3 AM after shooting trying to lock down locations for the following day, or finding an actor, or reworking a scene, or going over dailies. It was like being in a pressure cooker and trying to stay in character at the same time.

I love hearing about that kind of perseverance. What was it like getting in that head space of Michael Greene?

Becoming Michael Greene was easy. He and I are very similar. The challenge was staying in that head space and producing at the same time. There were a lot of days when I was literally running back and forth between takes because we didn't have an art department or costume department, or a script supervisor, so I was wearing a lot of hats at the same time.

Wow, yeah, I bet. Not too often I get to talk to someone wearing as many hats as you did.

Still from 2050.

Any funny or memorable moments which stick out from behind the scenes during filming?

There are, but you'll have to wait and hear them on the director's cut with commentary. I give all the secrets away!

[Laughs] fair enough. What do you hope people will take from 2050?

It was – I thought – very funny with some pointed observations about relationships but sad at the same time as we see the effects of the robots. The other thing that really stuck out for me was the music, too.

The music was perfect. It really accented the existential nature of the story while juxtaposing it with the artificial nature of 2050's technology.

Classical seemed to perfectly punctuate it and also serve as a nice juxtaposition with the action happening on screen. At any rate, quite a few existential questions were posed and answered eloquently. Well, the eMates didn't affect everyone negatively. That's the takeaway. I want people to see that happiness is different for everyone. The process to find what that happiness looks like can be painful, but it's necessary. To me the eMates are a metaphor for whatever it is that brings you happiness. I hope people's minds are opened a little, and they see that just because they believe something is right, it doesn't mean it's right for everyone.

GREAT takeaway. Switching gears to a question I ask everybody: what films, directors, actors, and/or particular performances have shaped and molded you as an artist?

Stanley Kubrick, David Lynch, Wes Anderson, P.T. Anderson, Lars von Trier, the Coen brothers, Tony Kaye, Darren Aronofsky, Martin Scorsese, to name a few directors. De Niro in Taxi Driver, Hoffman in The Graduate and Midnight Cowboy, Nicholson in The Shining, Hopkins in everything he's ever done… the actor list could go on forever. As for films that have influenced me, there's a litany of them.

Yeah, it's a big question by nature. What makes a great film?

A story that moves people, filmed in a way that keeps them interested, by a team that cares about making the best possible work.

I like that. Great, succinct, to the point.

Dean Cain as Maxwell in this still from 2050.

Our last question, will we be seeing more from you as a director and writer? What’s next for you?

Absolutely you will be seeing more of me as a writer/director. Currently I'm working on a movie franchise. I've written the first screenplay and have the next four in development.

Follow David Vaughn on Twitter here.

2050 (2018) trailer.

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