#why do we have to always argue about how people are reading the dynamic when it's how it was setup from the start

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

....//

[finelinefae]

the final [tennisplayer!harry x tennisplayer!y/n]

synopsis: y/n and harry reach the final in the academy slam

word count: 12.2k

contains: fluff, enemies to lovers, slow burn, tennis rivals, smut (oral f-receiving, first time for h and yn, size kink, mostly just soft), travel anxiety, brief medical talk

a/n: extremely sorry for the wait but i hope this is worth it. thank you for being here and reading this little series. it means the world and I'm obsessed with all of u <33

this is the final part of the game, read part 3 here

. . .

In any relationship, Y/N had always believed she was the dominant, reliable, independent partner. In all of her friendships, family dynamics and even teamwork, the people around her looked to her for something that sometimes she couldn’t even give. Y/N was constantly pulling pieces of herself apart to give to those around her and at the end of the day she found herself with nothing left for herself.  She was constantly burnt out, running on little energy to make it through to the end of the week. 

But with Harry, her whole world felt like a sanctuary, a blue sky hidden from everybody else by grey clouds. 

When she thought she knew all there was to know about herself, she was learning so much more through her relationship. 

She learnt that it was important to share things, that just because Harry could read her face better than most people doesn’t mean he could read her mind. She hadn’t realised how closed off she was about her problems until Harry had found her panicking outside her classroom before an exam. It was that moment when he told her he needed her to communicate these things so he could help her in any way he could. 

She learnt to accept that her love language was physical touch. She couldn’t keep her hands off of her boyfriend. No matter what they were doing or where they were standing, she was desperate to touch Harry in some way and he was obsessed with it. He loved how much she wanted him to hold her and how often she’d gravitate towards him to put her hand on his arm or hook their pinkies together. It was probably the reason why her lips were constantly chapped because she was always desperate to kiss him whenever they were near each other. Harry had told her once that our love languages developed from what we didn’t receive so much of as children, which made sense because Y/N couldn’t remember the first or last time her parents had held her. 

She learned that arguments were healthy, even when they didn't feel like it in the moment. Just because Harry was her boyfriend and their feelings for each other were strong, they still ended up bickering over little things. It usually happened when one of them was having a bad day; they were both people who felt things very strongly, and sometimes that clashed. But they made a promise that, no matter what they were arguing about, big or small, they'd never go to bed angry with each other.

The biggest lesson Y/N was learning was something that she had yet to come to terms with. Having feelings for somebody was already a new thing for her, especially feelings as strong as the ones she had for Harry. She’d never been so attached to somebody in her whole life.  Sometimes when she looked at him she felt like her heart was going to explode from how much it ached to be right by him. Y/N had always believed that she couldn’t feel much more than what she felt already, that this was how good it would get- and she was okay with that. But with every passing day, Y/N found herself floating higher and higher above ground as her heart began to inflate with such an intense emotion. Every morning, she felt like she was levitating right out of bed at the thought of seeing Harry. 

It wasn’t until one particular day that she realised she was in love with her boyfriend. 

She had woken up before him for once. Harry had always been an early bird, and so was she before him, but she loved staying in bed with him, basking in his warmth as he cradled her to him like he was cocooning her from the rest of the world and keeping her to himself for those brief few hours in the early morning. 

She was going to wake him up to get ready for school but she stopped herself. Y/N had seen many versions of Harry her entire life but this was the first time when she looked at him and saw the person who had carved a nook into her heart for himself looking so peaceful and relaxed. She’d never really thought too hard into it before, willing to let herself fall into this relationship and see where she ended up, but that morning when she looked at him - really looked at him- she realised there was only one person in this entire world who could make her feel like she was still dreaming and that was the person she loved. 

Of course, she hadn’t told him that. Never. Y/N felt genuine fear at the thought of having to tell him how she felt because everything she had ever truly loved she’d had to either work for or it had never loved her back as much. Surely loving someone as much as she loved Harry couldn’t be this easy. 

“Hey,” Sarah beamed, leaning against the lockers as Y/N replaced her books for her next classes. 

“Hey,” Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed as she glanced at her shirt, “What are you wearing?”

“Do you like them?” Sarah grinned, proudly. 

It was a white t-shirt with a tennis racket and a cut out of Y/N’s head plastered onto a tennis ball. The words ‘Y/N 4 court queen’ were written in red. 

“Please tell me you only got one of these?” Y/N begged, feeling embarrassed.

“Well they’re prototypes so there’s only four,” Sarah explained and as she did Mitch walked towards them wearing the exact same shirt. 

He put a hand around Sarah’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head before looking at Y/N, “How do you like the shirts? Me and Sarah spent all week designing them?”

“You designed these together? Aren’t you meant to be like horny teenagers or something?” Y/N tried not to laugh at their matching shirts as they stood side by side. 

“We can be both,” Mitch shrugs. 

“Who else is wearing these?” A throat cleared from behind them and Y/N turned around to find her boyfriend wearing his white school shirt unbuttoned to reveal the same t-shirt underneath. 

“Hi baby,” Harry grinned, walking towards her and kissing her lips. Y/N’s hands went to his waist as he pushed her up against the lockers. 

“And I thought we were bad,” Mitch said, “C’mon babe, I’ve got a few ideas for some more items we could sell.” 

Harry pulled away as Mitch and Sarah walked away. Y/N looked up at him as he loomed over her, he was just so goddamn tall. “Missed you,” He murmured, kissing her quickly. 

“You saw me this morning,” Y/N giggled.

“Hmmm,” He hooked his finger around her necklace and pulled her closer, “Do y’ like my shirt?” 

Y/N laughed, “I can’t believe you actually wore it.”

“Anything to support my girlfriend,” He winks. She’d never get tired of hearing him call her that. “Did you hear anything about the Academy?”

Y/N shook her head. After winning against Astrid, she was now onto the final where she would play Courtney Avalon the only girl in the competition who had been picked to compete in a Junior Slam at fourteen. Y/N wondered who thought it fair for her to compete but she wouldn’t let it ruin her chances of winning, she’d just train even harder than she already was. 

Unlike the previous games, the final wouldn’t be hosted at one of the academies instead it would be hosted elsewhere at a tennis club where professionals would play. There was no way of knowing where they’d be going, it could be in a different country for all they knew, but the final was a little under a month away and she still hadn’t heard anything about it. 

“S okay,” Harry knew she was overthinking the situation as he traced his thumb over her pulse the way he always did when she was nervous about something, “We just train the way we always have,”

“Do you think I’ll win?” Y/N asked.

“I know you will,” Harry replied. 

That same afternoon, Y/N was sitting in the library after school to finish her English essay on her computer when a notification appeared in her email. Her heartbeat hastened as she clicked on the email with ‘Academy Slam Final Location’ written in big bold letters as the subject headline. 

She clicked on it and her eyes flicked through the long-winded introduction before they landed on the location. 

Paris, France. 

She was going to Paris. 

With Harry. 

She tried to keep her excitement at bay as she threw all her belongings into her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. She made a quick exit out of the library and ran towards the parking lot where she knew Harry would be. 

Her eyes landed on him and she couldn’t help but laugh before running over to him and leaping into his open arms. “Paris,” She said and his eyes lit up. 

“We’re going to Paris?” Harry asked, seeking confirmation. 

Y/N nodded, “The same place they play the French Open.”

Realisation dawned on both of their faces as they understood the significance of this moment. Y/N would be playing at the same club where Harry was supposed to play before his injury. She waited to see his reaction, and a small grin formed on his face before he leaned in to kiss her.

“You are going to win this,” He says like a promise. 

She nods, the weight of the moment sinking in deeper. The pressure now felt even greater than before, driven by a desire to win not just for herself, but for Harry too. 

. . . 

Y/N sat on the bonnet of her boyfriend’s Audi with her boyfriend standing between her dangling legs as they made out, “Are you actually going to teach me anything?” Y/N laughed, pushing him away. 

Harry pretended to check the invisible watch on his wrist before shrugging, “We have time,” He leaned in to kiss her again but she playfully pushed his face away and slid off the bonnet. 

They walked hand in hand to the court where Y/N put her bag down on the ground and pulled out her racket. Her eyes caught sight of Harry taking a bucket of tennis balls out of the storage shed. He looked particularly cosy today in his navy sweater and white shorts he was wearing, his hair was a little dishevelled mainly due to the fact that she had run her fingers through them for the past thirty minutes. 

“Okay, so should we do a few drills?” Harry posed the question.

Y/N shook her head, “I wanna try something different today,” Harry frowned as she passed him a racket, “I want to play against you.”

She could tell Harry seemed unsettled as soon as the words left her mouth, “Y/N, you already know about my injury,”

“Just a little back and forth, if it hurts too much we can stop straight away,” She tried, hoping he would say yes. 

Harry took one look at his girlfriend, seeing the pleading look on her face. Even though he knew she wasn’t forcing him, he couldn’t find it in himself to say no. “Fine, one game.”

Y/N squealed and ran to the end of the court she always played on, getting into position. She watched as Harry rolled his ankles and bounced up and down to get used to the feeling of his feet on the court. He took a tennis ball out of his pocket and bounced it on the ground. 

With a playful chuckle, Harry tossed the ball into the air and served. Y/N lunged for it, returning it with a swift swing of her racket. The rally began, and each shot was met with cheers and laughter from them both.

Despite Harry's injury, he moved across the court with surprising agility, his competitive spirit shining through. Y/N knew he was at a disadvantage but still, she was in awe of how quickly he responded to her hits. Every time Harry would run for the ball, she’d find herself distracted by the muscles in his calves and thighs and the concentration on his face when the ball would go to her end of the court. 

In the end, Y/N came out on top with one score above Harry’s when they decided on the last round as Harry could tell the pain was beginning to stir in his leg. She walked over to him and put out his hand to shake his, “Great game,”

Harry rolled his eyes, taking her hand and pulling her into him, “You’re too pretty, you distracted me.”

“I’ve heard that one too many times before,” Y/N smirked.

“From who?” Harry frowned.

“Oh just people,” She began to walk away but Harry quickly ran up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and spinning her around. 

“Harry,” Y/N laughed, loudly, both of them ignoring the watchful eyes of passing students leaving school late. 

He placed her back down on the ground and she looked up at him again, biting her lip, “Get back to those drills,” He shook his head. 

“Yes sir,” She saluted but Harry stilled.

“I didn’t know you were into that,” 

“What?” Y/N frowned before realising, “Ew don’t be so gross Harry,” She hit him on the arm and stormed away. 

“What else am I supposed to think?” Harry threw his arms up in the air, biting back a laugh. She turned around and threw a tennis ball at him before grabbing another one and doing the same again, “Oh c’mon baby, I can live out your coach/student fantasies if that’s what you're asking,”

“You’re an animal!” She hissed.

Harry laughed and jogged towards her, kissing her quickly and running through their usual training. 

. . .

Two weeks had passed until Y/N and Harry were finally on their way to Paris. Mitch and Sarah had dropped them off at the airport in the early hours of the morning with sleep still in their eyes. Y/N would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t nervous about playing without her best friend cheering for her in the stands. But Sarah promised she would watch every second of the live stream from their dorm room and cheer her on from there. 

She’d also tried to call and text her parents to tell them she had made it to the final and she’d be going to Paris, inviting them to come along even though she already knew they would decide not to. She hadn’t spoken to them since the dinner and even though she was the happiest she’d ever been, part of her ached, wishing her parents cared enough to see her that way. 

Harry stood beside her as they waited in line to board the aeroplane. They had originally booked economy flights but Harry was insistent they upgrade even though the flight was only an hour long. 

They were both dressed rather comfortably for the flight. It was Y/N’s first time wearing a piece of his clothing, a brown knitted sweatshirt he offered her to wear this morning. She couldn’t deny the rush of excitement she felt when he tugged it over her head and kissed her forehead, “Pretty,” He said and smiled. 

But despite their comfy attire, Y/N couldn’t seem to stop fiddling with Harry’s fingers as they stood in line. She was nervous, biting the inside of her cheek and trying to ignore the sounds of the planes taking off outside. It was her first time flying and even though she was excited about going away to Paris, she hadn’t considered the prospect of flying and how nerve-wracking it would be. 

“Harry,” Y/N tugged on his sleeve, looking up at him. He was holding both of their carry-ons, his black bag in his hand and her duffle on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sensing her nerves. 

“Will we be okay?” She blushes, feeling embarrassed at her question, “On the plane I mean?”

Harry’s eyes soften, “Of course,” He assures, “It’s the safest way to travel.”

“Okay,” She nods, before saying his name again, “Harry?”

“Yes baby?” 

“You promise we’ll be okay?”

He smiles, putting their bags on the floor and taking both of her hands in his. He squeezes her fingers when he feels how cold they are, “Promise, promise.” 

“Okay well if you’re lying I’ll probably never speak to you again.” 

Harry chuckles, “I mean if I’m lying and the plan crashes then that’s probably true.”

Y/N frowns, “Don’t talk about crashing,” 

“What? You bought it up.”

When they finally board the plane, Y/N immediately feels claustrophobic when she realises how small it is, “They’re loading us into a sardine can,” She mutters to herself and hears Harry laugh as he walks in front of her. 

They finally reach their seats with Y/N right by the window and Harry in the seat next to her. Harry places their bags under the seats in front and moves to buckle his belt. “Harry?” Y/N says his name again. He glances at her and sees how pale her face is, “I’m really nervous.”

He felt his heart clench, it wasn’t often that Y/N admitted to feeling nervous or afraid of something. Hearing the shake in her voice made him consider getting off the plane and taking her back home again. 

“Hey,” Harry cupped the side of her cheek, “Y’ got nothing to be afraid of sweet girl, everything’s gonna be fine. Might feel a little strange when the plane takes off but we’re safe and I’m right here with you.”

“I don’t know about this Harry,” Her eyes dart around and he knows she’s getting into a panic the more she thinks about it too much.

“Y/N,” Harry says her name gently, “Look at me baby,” His thumb rubs the skin under her eye and her eyes dart to him, “Can you feel this?�� He gently wraps his fingers around her wrist and moves her hand to wrap around his own wrist until the pads of her fingers find his pulse. 

Y/N nods, her eyes glistening, “Can you feel that?” He hopes the feel of his pulse will calm her down, “That’s it, just breathe and calm down everything’s gonna be fine.”

“It’s going to be fine,” She echoes his words as though trying to inscribe them into her own mind. 

“M right here,” He comforts her, “You think I’d let anything happen to you after I just got you?”

Y/N smiles at that, “No,” She whispers, “You’re too stubborn.”

Harry grins, “Only when it comes to you.”

Y/N’s nerves were overwhelming as the plane began to move. She glanced out the window, watching the ground blur as they gained speed. Harry noticed her unease and reached for her hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“What the fuck!” Y/N blurted when the plane lifted off the ground, loud enough for everyone to hear, “This is so not normal.”

Harry snorted a laugh, “Y’ doing just fine baby,” He rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hand.

Y/N’s eyes squeezed shut as the plane tilted, a whimper escaping past her lips when she took one peek out the window to see the clouds in the sky. “Isn’t it pretty?” Harry asked, ignoring how tightly she was squeezing his fingers until the point of turning blue.

“It’s a lot prettier with my feet on the ground,” Y/N responds, refusing to relax until the plane landed.

. . .

Y/N was in awe as they stood in the hotel lobby of the hotel they would be staying in for the next week or so. Harry had insisted he be in charge of choosing where they were staying as he had been to Paris plenty of times and knew all the best spots. Y/N didn’t argue with him, it gave her one less thing to stress about and she was never any good at making decisions anyway. 

The receptionist handed him two key cards and Harry rolled both of their suitcases into the elevator as Y/N followed closely behind. “Are our rooms next to each other?” Y/N wondered, admiring the lights in the elevator as they went up to the seventh floor. 

Harry’s eyes widened for a second but then they twinkled with mischief. She noticed him biting the inside of his cheek like he was trying not to laugh. “Is that what you want two rooms?” He asked and Y/N’s cheeks flushed. 

“W-well I d-didn’t want to assume,” She stuttered, feeling embarrassed. 

Harry handed her both room keys, “Room 764,” He motioned her out of the elevator when it reached their floor and she walked ahead, scanning the numbers on the doors as she did.

Eventually, she got to room 764 and stopped. Harry was still rounding the corner with both of their suitcases so she waved the key over the scanner and saw the light turn green but instead of opening the door, she waited for it to lock again. Switching to the other key, she repeated the action of waving it over the lock only to see it flash green again. 

This time she did walk through the door, putting both their bags on the ground as soon as she stepped inside. Her mouth fell open when she saw the room they’d be staying in. 

Y/N had stayed in fancy hotels before thanks to her parents but this was something she had never seen before in her life. It had a high ceiling and a chandelier hanging in the middle. White curtains hung from the windows with a view of Paris right outside their window. She walked into the bathroom to see marble countertops and a deep bathtub with a separate glass-enclosed shower. 

After taking everything in, she walked back into the bedroom where her eyes landed on the king-sized bed - one bed for two people. 

The sight of it made Y/N’s mouth dry. It was her first time sharing a space with any boy, let alone her boyfriend, for longer than one night. Although she’d been spending a lot of time together, this was the first time Y/N would be sleeping beside him, waking up next to him, and getting ready with him. In fact, this whole trip they were all each other had. 

“Do you like it?” Harry came up behind her and squeezed her shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. 

Y/N spun round and clung to him, “Thank you,” She whispered, hoping he couldn’t feel the nerves radiating from her. 

“I was thinking we go out and get something to eat and then maybe walk by the river. We’ll be training for the next few days so,” She sighed, longing to just stay in the room with him holding her the entire time. 

“I’d like that,” She sighs, eyes closing. 

Harry chuckles lowly, she feels the vibrations from his chest, “Y sure?” 

“Mhm,” 

Harry smiles even though she can’t see, “Or we can order room service and stay here?”

Y/N seems to melt against him as he rubs circles on her back, “I like that idea a lot more.”

She was pretty sure Harry had ordered everything off the menu in the time it took her to unpack her suitcase. She smiled to herself when she saw their shoes side by side at the door when she went to put her trainers beside them. 

It wasn’t long before hours passed and Y/N was wrapped up in a plush, white bathrobe with Harry’s shirt and her pyjama shirt on underneath. A cart with empty plates of what once was full of an array of desserts and sides was cast off to one side as Y/N lay on top of Harry with a full belly. The TV played lowly in the back, Harry's hands playing with the ends of her long, loose hair. The sky had turned dark with the lights of Paris lighting the city. 

“Y’ sleepy baby?” Harry murmured, cupping her cheek and lifting her head like she was a little kitten so he could see her face. 

Y/N hummed, nuzzling her cheek against his hand and curling into his side. Her hand slid up his torso to fiddle with the cross necklace around her neck. “Go to sleep,” He kisses the top of her head, “Got a long day tomorrow.” 

Tomorrow they’d be off to the tennis club to train for the final at the end of the week. Harry had picked a hotel that was a ten-minute drive away just in case they ended up spending long hours into the night working on Y/N’s technique like they did when they were at Crestwood. 

Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut as Harry rubbed soothing circles on her hip to try and lull her to sleep. The outside world seemed irrelevant in that moment, he felt as though he could lay there forever in this comforting bubble they had created together. 

“Goodnight Harry,” Y/N mumbled, clutching his t-shirt. 

“Goodnight baby,” He whispered, feeling the happiest he had ever been.

. . .

“Somebody pinch me, I feel like I’m dreaming,” Y/N gaped as they walked through the tennis club. She felt Harry pinch the skin above her elbow, “Not literally,” She huffed. 

After a blissful night's sleep, Y/N awoke to her face buried in the crook of Harry’s neck as both of his arms held her tightly to him throughout the night. Sleep had always been Y/N’s worst enemy but she genuinely considered calling off today and just laying there with him. 

They booked a cab before getting ready which would take them to the tennis club. They had planned a morning session of training so they could spend the remainder of the afternoon exploring Paris properly this time instead of looking out the window of the back of a taxi or from their hotel room where they had spent yesterday afternoon lounging around. 

Harry smirked, “You haven’t even seen the best part yet,” He leads her to a big glass window in the lobby. 

Y/N immediately gasps, pressing her nose against the glass wanting it to disappear so she could walk straight through it and across to the Roland Garros which just so happened to be right next door. 

“I’m going to be there one day Harry,” Y/N says with the upmost determination in her voice. 

Harry nods in agreement, “You will,” He says and that makes her believe it even more. 

They walk hand in hand to the courts, Y/N in a white tennis dress and matching visor and Harry wearing a white polo shirt and white shorts. They were both wearing black sunglasses to cover their eyes, Harry snaked his arm around her shoulders, Y/N’s fingers automatically threading through his, as they walked outside. 

They seemed to pause at the same time when they saw one of the courts already occupied. The sound of the ball speeding through the air and hitting the racket of the girl running to hit it in time broke through the air. 

Y/N watched as the girl moved with such agility and force, meeting every hit made by her coach with her own. It was like nothing she had ever seen before, no one she had ever played against. 

With one final hit across, the ball landed somewhere past her opponent and the game ended. The girl grabbed a towel and wiped it across her forehead, smiling as she took a waterbottle from the cooler. Her head raised, Y/N’s eyes casting away in hopes she wouldn’t come over but it was too late and she was already walking towards them. 

Harry gave Y/N’s hand a gentle squeeze as if to say "be nice," already familiar with her temper. However, she had put up a guard, uncertain whether to trust this girl or not.

“Hi,” She said, “I’m Courtney,” She held a hand out to which Y/N slowly responded, “You must be Y/N, I’ve been watching your games. You’re good.”

Y/N felt her jaw tick at the tone she used in trying to compliment her like she didn’t think she was a good player at all but she was trying to be nice about it. 

“Thank you,” Y/N decided to not act out and instead remained civil.

Courtney flashed a pearly white grin, “Yes well my coach thought this whole Academy competition would be good training for the Junior Slam next year. It’s not often something I would participate in but no one can deny the glory of winning something no matter how easy it is.”

Y/N forced a smile, “You’re right, it seems every game just gets easier and easier. I’m sure this next one will be a walk in the park.”

Courtney smirked, her eyes drifting up to see Harry, “Harry,” She acknowledged, “I haven’t seen you since your injury? How is it?”

“Good,” Harry nodded, “Besides the fact I can’t play anymore, I’d say it’s going pretty well.” 

Courtney’s smirk deepens, “Is that why you’re doing this? Since you can’t play you’ve got a little pitbull to carry the torch for you.”

Y/N’s fists clenched, her nails digging into her palms, “You know, I’ve been watching you too Courtney.”

Courtney’s expression turned smug as she crossed her arms, “Oh really?”

Y/N nodded, her eyes narrowing as she looked at her nose like she was inspecting it, “Your nose is looking a little crooked after last season. My mother knows a doctor who can fix that if you want their number?”

Courtney scowled and spun on her heel to storm away from them after being reminded of her embarrassing moment from last season where she hit herself in the face with her tennis racket and broke her nose. 

Harry chuckled from beside her, “I’m sorry, I know I’m not meant to but she pissed me off when she started talking about your injury like that.”

“It’s okay, if I didn’t think you had it covered I would have said something myself.” Harry began to walk to their side of the courts, “Now c’mon my little pitbull, let’s get to work.” 

Y/N scowled at his choice of words but followed him anyway. 

. . .

Throughout the entire week whenever they weren’t training - which was less often than they had hoped for but also the reason they were here in the first place - Y/N and Harry spent their evenings exploring the city. 

Y/N was thankful Harry had been to Paris plenty of times before, enough to show her around and take her to some of his favourite spots. 

Together they went to Harry’s favourite cafe each morning to pick up croissants and pastries to eat outside on the little tables and chairs. They visited the Eiffel Tower where they attempted to take photographs of each other holding it in the palms of their hands. They walked over to the Louvre where Harry paid for them to have a private tour in the evening and they would spend most of their evenings walking hand in hand as they strolled along the Seine. 

This must be what being a kid feels like. Y/N thought to herself as Harry lay in between her legs as they sat on the grass right in front of the Eiffel Tower. He was reading a book he had bought from a small, indie bookstore they had come across as they walked through the streets. 

Everything in her life had always been meticulously planned or she had to work hard for it, even at the age of eighteen. Both Y/N and Harry had been made to grow up quickly because their parents had raised them that way but together it felt like they had regressed back into their simplest forms. Life felt easy and colourful and magical. Each day, Y/N felt like her heart was shedding hardened skin and was slowly turning into this beautiful ball of light that weighed hardly anything inside of her chest. 

She paused her train of thought when she felt Harry’s lips press a kiss to her arm, “Let’s go out to dinner tonight,” He murmured. 

Tomorrow was the final and Y/N had been a nervous wreck all day hence why they had attempted to do things that might help her relax. Harry had woken her up with breakfast already carried in by one of the housekeepers and had offered to take her to the spa in the hotel but Y/N was desperate to escape the indoors and go outside so they ended up walking through the streets and stumbling into different shops on multiple street corners. Harry had even bought a baguette to put in his tote bag that they had been nibbling on all day. 

“I don’t know if I can handle eating right now,” Y/N admitted, the nerves getting the best of her. 

Harry shifted and turned around so he was lying on his stomach, his chin resting on her belly, “You’ll regret it if you don’t eat baby,” He kissed her exposed stomach from where her shirt had risen, “Even if it’s just a little something, y’ can’t go to bed hungry.”

Y/N knew he was right which is how they ended up in one of the fanciest restaurants Harry could have possibly picked from the many Paris had to offer with two plates of pasta and a shared basket of garlic bread between them. 

At one point, midway through making her laugh, Harry pulled out his phone to quickly take her picture. Y/N's cheeks tinged pink as she asked, "What did you do that for?"

Harry bit back a grin, “Because you’re my girlfriend and sometimes I take photos of you to make sure this is real,” Y/N rolled her eyes, “What? Do you want to see the whole album I’ve made for you too?”

“A whole album? Ew weirdo,” She teased. 

“Not a weirdo, ‘m just obsessed with you,” He says, “Wait until you’ve seen all the playlists I’ve made over the years I’ve been pining for you behind closed doors.” 

Y/N’s lips part, “You’re lying,”

“I’m not, I swear,” Harry chuckles, “Remember that box of chocolates you found in your cubby in fifth year on Valentine’s Day?”

“That was not you,” Y/N refused to believe it, “Sarah and I sat in the park after school eating them on the swings after she broke up with Byron.”  

“It was,” Harry nodded, his cheeks turning rosy but he carried on, “The day you asked me to teach you to play tennis I felt like I was floating on a cloud at the big old age of eight.”

“But you said no,” 

“Yeah because I figured you’d never leave me alone until I did and low and behold here we are today.” He says like he’s been planning this exact moment in time all his teenage life. 

“Ah so you’ve been scheming ever since,” Y/N joked. 

Harry shrugged, “I may have put things into motion but I think you were always meant to be a part of my life, Y/N.”

Y/N’s heart warmed like he was holding a candle beneath it, “I don’t think I remember anything good that you weren’t a part of.” 

He reached for her hand across the table and kissed the inside of her wrist, “You are my good.”

. . .

Harry leaned against the doorframe of the hotel bathroom as he brushed his teeth whilst Y/N lay on the bed in just a towel and underwear having just finished showering. Both their gazes were fixed on the television with re-runs of previous tennis matches playing with the volume down. 

Harry’s eyes softened when they looked at Y/N who watched the TV with so much awe on her face. He felt a sense of pride wash over him for both his girlfriend and for himself. After his injury, he thought himself damned and that nothing would give him the rush of playing tennis against big names like he did before but now he had Y/N and life before today seemed non-existent - maybe he hadn’t really been living at all.

He spat out his toothpaste and turned the bathroom light off. He stopped in the doorway in just his boxers when Y/N switched the TV off and there was nothing but the soft, warm glow of the lamp lighting the room. 

Her eyes looked up at him, vulnerability shining from them, “If I lose tomorrow will you still look at me the same?” She asked.

Harry frowned, “What do you mean?”

She sighed heavily, sitting up and pulling the towel closer to her to hide her naked chest, “Will you still like me?”

Harry’s eyes softened. It wasn’t often she shared such a vulnerable side with people so whenever he got a glimpse of it, he felt himself spiralling out of control like he was completely at her mercy, “No,” He starts and walks towards her squatting down before the bed and reaching a hand out to hold her cheek, his thumb smoothing over her cheekbones, “But I’ll love you a little harder than I do right now,”

A breath escaped from Y/N’s lips as they parted, her heart pounding, “What?” She breathed. 

Harry’s lips curved, “I love you.” 

She still couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing, “You do?”

Harry said nothing other than a small nod as he waited for her to respond, “I love you too,” She whispered, her eyes glistening, “More than anything in this world.”

Harry didn’t need to hear anything else as he surged forward to kiss her, his bottom lip sliding between hers. Y/N held his face in her hands as she kissed him as hard as she could whilst he crawled onto the bed. 

She fell back, feeling the soft sheets beneath her as Harry held himself up above her. The towel around her had loosened her pulse racing as she realised what was happening. “We don’t have to-” Harry started but Y/N kissed him quickly to shut him up.

“I want to,” She murmured against his lips. 

Harry nodded, his curls falling around his face as his cheeks tinged pink, “I-I can’t promise I’ll be good,” Y/N immediately shook her head, pushing his curls back and looking him straight in the eye.

“I love you, Harry,” She saw the way his eyes twinkled as she spoke those words, “Whatever we do will be perfect because it’s with you and nobody else. Just us.”

Harry smiles, “The way it’s always been. You and me,”

Y/N mirrors his smile before kissing him again, running her hands up and down his back with nothing but the sound of their lips connecting and their heavy exhales filling the silence of the room. 

As Harry kissed down her neck, Y/N felt her nerves escalating as an idea formed in her mind. The towel around her was the only barrier preventing their skin from touching, and she yearned to feel the warmth of his bare chest against hers. 

Before getting lost in a spiral of self-doubt, Y/N loosened her grip on the towel. Harry paused his assault on her neck and they both froze, “Holy shit,” Harry whispered maybe to himelf but she wasn’t quite sure, “Okay give me a second,” His eyes squeezed shut and Y/N waited. 

Suddenly, Harry’s head glimpsed down at her naked form lying beneath him. The only piece of fabric left on her was a pair of red, lace panties, “Fuck,” Harry cursed, “This isn’t real, pinch me so I can wake up,” 

“Harry,” Y/N laughed.

“I’m sorry baby but you’re just gonna have to give me a moment because- Holy shit.” He exclaimed, “This is way better than I imagined,” He muttered, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry was in awe of the girl that lay beneath him, every curve of her body and inch of her soft skin looked as thought it was sculpted by tender hands. His hands gripped the bottoms of her thighs and he felt the hard muscle from months and months of playing tennis and yet, despite all that, her skin was still so damn soft. 

Harry couldn’t think up enough words to praise the temple that was her body so he sealed his lips with hers, his tongue darting out filled with lust and need. His fingers slid up her thigh to grip her ass and when his hips rolled against hers she felt him - all of him. 

Y/N let out a moan as he kissed down her body, he pulled her into him until her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her arms looped around his neck, her fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. 

Y/N hummed, her eyes fluttering shut, as Harry kissed and touched every inch of skin. She felt like all the heavy parts of her were being taken out of her body and only her heart remained. He cupped her breasts in his hand and squeezed, her nipples hardening despite the warmth of his touch.  She felt like dough, fluffy and light, and no matter what he did to her they would somehow mould together perfectly. 

She felt Harry’s thumb hook the waistband of her panties when he kissed the inside of her thigh, “Harry,” Y/N gasped. It seemed to be the only word she had left inside of her empty head. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked, his green eyes peering up at her.

“No,” She said, too quickly, “You can do anything y’ want to me.” She trusted him that much. 

Harry shuddered at her words, his heart expanding three sizes inside of his chest. He didn’t think it was possible to feel this way about somebody, to feel like all his calloused skin was peeling off of his body and now he was someone completely new. 

With shaky hands, he removed Y/N’s underwear, seeing the way her chest rose and fell. His hands gently pushed her plush thighs apart, “Fuck baby,” He groaned. 

“Please Harry,” Y/N mewled, her hips wriggling in hopes the action would propel him to do something. 

“Calm down lovie, jus’ admiring how pretty y’ are,” He smirks, his thumb trailing up her slit until it reached her clit. He stopped, hearing her weighted breaths before he began to rub it in slow, teasing circles. He caught the stutter in her breath, watching when her hands fisted the blanket. 

Without warning, Y/N feels his warm, wet tongue run between her folds. The sensation feels foreign but she’s overcome by intense pleasure as he begins lapping her through her folds. She feels her lungs deflate as the air escapes her, unable to breathe when he teases her clenching open. Her toes curl as his other hand travels to her hip to hold her down and nuzzle his face harder against her. 

Hearing her whines and feeling her writing beneath him, Harry feels his cock throbbing in his boxers, he could feel the damp fabric against his skin as he pressed himself into the mattress with his head still in between her thighs. 

“So good,” Y/N babbles, her body shivering when she felt the coil begin to tighten in the pit of her belly, “So, so good Harry.”

Before she could find her release, Harry pulled away his chin glistening with her juices. Y/N’s hands grapple for him but she can barely reach him and feels too floaty to try any harder. Harry’s hair is a mess as he crawls up her bare body and kisses her. She tastes herself on his tongue when they brush against each other, “I need to be inside of you,” He slurs against her lips, “I need you so bad Y/N, I think I’ll go crazy if I don’t.” 

Harry’s head hangs, his curls falling in front of his face. Y/N automatically pushes them back, her hips rolling against his. She can feel the damp spot against his boxers despite her own wetness covering her thighs, “I’m on birth control,” She tells him. 

Harry groans, his forehead pressing against her collarbones, “Of course you are,” He says, “Always so fucking prepared, aren’t you?” He drawls, “My best girl,”

Y/N’s heart flips and spins at his words, but the reality of the situation sets in when she feels him removing his boxers. She gasps as she feels his hardened length against the inside of her thigh. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but Harry was big; she had no clue whether it was normal for someone to be as thick as he was, and she wondered how she was meant to fit it all inside of her.

“Is this okay?” He murmurs and Y/N nods, “I feel like we should high-five or something,”

Y/N can’t help but laugh, “What?”

“Well we’re both virgins about to lose our virginity, shouldn’t we like boost morale or something?” He jokes and Y/N laughs so hard her cheeks ache. 

After they both settle, Harry kisses her quickly as he lines his cock up to her pussy, “Harry?” He hums a reponse, “It’ll fit right?”

Harry groaned, his mind still picturing her small, wet glistening pussy that he had just had his first taste of, “Yes baby, it’s your first time so it’ll hurt a little but if you want to stop we’ll stop and if you say go we’ll go and if you want me to leave you alone for ten minutes, I’ll leave for five. Whatever you want.” 

“Okay,” She nods, fully determined, “I love you,”

Harry’s eyes soften, “I love you too, lovie.”

Y/N smiles, “I like that name,”

“Yeah?” Harry’s lips curve. 

“Yeah,” Y/N loops her arms around his neck and tries her best to relax when she feels the tip of his cock brush through her folds. 

Harry kisses her forehead, “Take a deep breath,” He says and as she does, she feels him push his hips down and his tip gently ease into her. She gasps, feeling her pussy throb as he moves achingly slow, inch by inch inside of her. A thin layer of sweat covers Harry’s forehead, his jaw clenching as he feels her walls squeezing him tightly. 

She feels a sting of pain as his thick length pushes through her, her pussy stretching to accommodate his size. 

“Baby,” He murmurs, the tip of his nose brushing over her cheek, “If you keep clenching around me I’m gonna cum before I’m all the way inside of you.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, “You’re not all the way in yet?” 

Harry cringed, “M sorry, do you want to stop?”

Y/N immediately shook her head, pulling him closer to her, “Keep going,” She whispered despite the fact she was wondering if she even had enough room to fit him inside of her when she already felt so full. 

Harry eased into her a little quicker this time, kissing her soothingly and whispering sweet, encouraging nothings into her ear. He even began to rub his thumb against her clit in hopes it would ease some of her discomfort. 

Eventually, he found himself all the way, deep inside of her, her walls squeezing him tightly with his hips pressed against her own. “Are you okay?” He murmured. 

“Mhm,” Y/N could barely keep her eyes open from how blissful she felt. It was like nothing she had ever felt before, her entire body was just full up of him in ever sense of the word, “Can we stay like this for a moment,”

He kissed her shoulder and along her collarbones, “Whatever you want lovie, doing so well,”

Although he was trying to remain calm for her, Harry couldn’t believe he was buried deep inside of the girl he had loved for so long. He couldn’t feel any part of his body apart from where they were both connected, slotted together so perfectly like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. 

Her hair splayed out around her on the pillow, her lips were plushy and swollen, and her cheeks were red, the colour of two, crisp apples picked right off a tree. She was a dream, the love of his life. 

“Okay,” She murmured, “Y’ can move now.”

“Are you sure?” He would hate himself if he caused her any more pain but she nodded. 

A hiss escaped her lips as Harry began to slowly move out of her. He paused, “I just need to get used to it is all,” She assured. 

Harry nods, waiting for her to tell him to move again and when she does, he moves gently out of her before carefully thrusting back into her again. Now that she was getting used to the feeling of him inside of her, Y/N could feel the ridges and veins of his cock brush her walls, the tip of his cock pressing into her g-spot as he moved inside of her. 

“God Harry,” Y/N whines. 

“You’re m’ dream girl,” Harry slurs, biting his lip when he takes in how tight she is as she clenches around him. He grabs one of the hands still placed around his neck and kisses her wrist. He intertwines their fingers and settles their hands beside her head needing to feel her touch, “M’ best girl, I love y’ so much.” He whispers. 

“Love you,” She sighs, her eyes fluttering shut as he thrusts over and over again, each one more perfect than the last. 

“Y’ pussy is so perfect baby, made for each other, aren’t we? Hmm? Y’ my perfect, dream girl.” He groans, his head falling forward. 

Harry pulled his hand away from hers to smear his thumb over her clit. Y/N whimpers and writhes beneath him at the added pleasure, “Faster,” She whispers, “Please.”

Harry presses messy kisses along her jawline, “Don’t have to beg baby,” He hastens his rhythmic thrusts, their moans filling the air. 

“Can feel y’ clenching baby?” Harry seemed to already have an idea of when Y/N was about to cum from the way her body shivered beneath him, “Y’ gonna cum?” 

“Yes Harry,” She gasps, “Please Harry, it feels so good,” Her eyes pinched with tears at the overwhelming pleasure that filled every part of her. 

“Cum round my cock baby, make a mess hmm, need y’ to cum so I can cum too yeah?” He was almost pleading, words tumbling from his mouth as his thrusts began to speed up the closer he got to his release. 

Y/N could feel that same coil begin to tighten in her belly, she could see her vision start to blur and all her muscles tighten until it snapped and her back arched into him. He swooped one arm beneath her, pulling her into him and burying his face into her neck as he groaned into her, “Fuck,” He heaved, releasing into her. 

Y/N could barely get any words out as he collapsed on top of her. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling, her lips parting with small puffs of air escaping her. She felt like she was floating, levitating off the bed and leaving her body behind, “Y’ okay baby,” Harry murmured, kissing her cheek, “Come down for me yeah?” He presses a hand to her forehead.

“Harry,” She whimpers, the first word to leave her lips after coming down from her high. She loops her arms around him and he scoops her up into his.

“You did such a good job, m’love,” He coos, moving her matted hair out of her forehead and admiring how beautiful she looked under the soft light of the lampshade. 

“Was so perfect,” She whispers, meeting his soft, green eyes and lifting a hand to brush his hair out of his face. 

“Yeah?” He smiled, holding her to him like she was something so fragile he was afraid he might break her.

“Mhm,” She hums, curling into him.  “I love you,” She kissed his chest and felt his heart thudding against her hand.

“I’ve loved you for a long time,” Harry replied. 

They lay tangled together amongst the sheets, waiting to float back down into their bodies but basking in every second they had in that moment where their hearts were the same. 

. . .

Y/N lay in bed that same night with Harry’s t-shirt now covering her bare form. Harry laughed as he re-entered the bedroom having just taken his second shower of the evening. 

She was watching a tennis match on the TV again. 

“You’re watching tennis?” He smiled, falling on the bed beside her, clad only in his boxers. “Is this your version of cigarettes after sex?”

Y/N grins, “What can I say? It’s my addiction.”

He reaches for her hand and mindlessly plays with her fingers but his ears prick when he hears his name from one of the commentators, “This is my game from last year,” Harry speaks, seeing his face appear on the screen. 

They watched as Harry walked onto the court exuding confidence as he shook hands with his opponent before the match started. He then pointed his racket at the middle of the stands where the audience was watching. 

“Why do you do that?” Y/N wonders, “Before every game, you’d always point your racket at the middle of the audience.” “Every game?” Harry poked her side. 

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve watched every single one of your games so what?”

Harry smiled, kissing her bare shoulder and answering, “Because you used to sit there.”

Y/N stilled turning her head to look at him, “What?”

“Whenever I would play at any of my tennis matches, I always looked out for you in the crowd and I’d always find you sitting right in the middle of the bleachers to watch. Eventually, it just became a thing, before I even set foot onto the court, I’d find you sitting in the exact same spot with the exact same expression on your face. I thought you were a good luck charm because whenever you weren’t sat there I’d lose. When I went to matches that you weren’t going to be watching, I just started pointing down the centre courts like my own superstition or something.” 

“Is that really the reason?” Y/N’s eyes glistened. 

Harry nodded, his eyes casting downward, “S embarrassing I know,” 

Y/N shook her head, cupping his face in her hands, “You’re so perfect,” She mumbled, the both of them falling back onto the mattress, getting lost in each other all over again. 

. . .

Y/N couldn’t focus on anything other than the crowd gathering in the stands as she sat in her plastic chair on the left-hand side of the umpire’s seat. Harry stood next to her, barely saying a word but offering her his presence to ease her nerves. 

Today was the final, the day Y/N had been working towards all these months and it didn’t feel real. The air was hot and humid, Y/N could already feel her skin sticking to the chair as the sun beat down on her. 

After waking up this morning, Y/N felt a blissful ache between her legs from her night with Harry. In some ways, she was thankful for it because for a moment it helped her forget what events lay ahead. Their night together had been magical, there was no other way she could describe it. She had no idea what could happen to a person after being so vulnerable with another but she felt lighter and even more in love with Harry than she had ever been before. 

Harry placed a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll be starting soon,” He murmured, squatting in front of her to meet her eyes. 

They had gone to the gym first thing in the morning to warm up for the day's big event. Harry had tried to distract her mind from the doubts that consumed her by playing bad music or challenging her strength on the bel bars but Y/N’s mind constantly drifted. 

“Right,” Y/N felt the pit in her stomach cave inwards, consuming all her insides and mushing them altogether. She felt a wave of nausea as Courtney walked onto the court and everyone applauded her. 

“Y/N,” Harry grasped her hand in her lap and squeezed, “You are going to win this. I wholeheartedly believe in you.”

Her shoulders drop, “If I don’t-”

“There’s no ‘if’,” Harry interrupted her before she could finish her negative train of thought, “You can and you will. Courtney may be a good tennis player but her ego outweighs all of that.” 

Y/N nods, “Okay,” She says. 

Harry stands, his hand cupping her left cheek to lift her head. He grins, “I love you.”

Y/N knows her heart is still intact at least from the way it flips and spins inside her chest at his words, “I love you too.”

A twinkle shines in his eyes until they drift over to the stands. His lips curve, “I think there are some other people here who love you too,” He motions his head towards the crowd and Y/N casts her gaze over in that direction. 

She feels her eyes prick with tears when she sees Sarah, Mitch and Adam in the front row of the stands all wearing t-shirts with her name and face plastered onto them. Sarah immediately spots her and waves, pointing to her shirt with excitement and pride for her best friend. 

“Did you bring them here?” Y/N asked, looking up at Harry.

He shrugged, “Sarah was insisting she came,”

Y/N squeezes his hand,  “Thank you,” She whispers, “For all of this. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” Harry holds her feeling her heart hammering against her chest as too many emotions consume them both. 

Unfortunately for her, Harry couldn’t stay at her side for the entire game but he was in the front row of the stands, directly in the middle exactly where she would sit whenever she would watch any of his games back home. 

When the umpire announced the game would begin, Y/N walked over to Courtney and shook her hand, “Good luck,” She said. 

Courtney scoffed, “Yeah, thanks.”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

As the match began, Y/N and Courtney faced off on the court. The crowd hushed, watching intently. Y/N felt jittery as she waited for Courtney's first serve.

Courtney tossed the ball and swung her racket, sending the ball flying towards Y/N who responded quickly, hitting the ball back with a loud smack.

The game was on. Y/N and Courtney traded shots back and forth, each trying to outplay the other. Y/N felt confident with each move she made, pushing away her earlier doubts until she noticed Courtney begin to counteract her moves when she took in how Y/N responded to each shot. 

With one hard-hitting strike, Courtney sent the ball straight past Y/N’s shoulder. 

Courtney had the first point. 

Y/N glanced over at Harry, seeing him watching with intense focus but his eyes were glued onto her as if she were the only person on the court. 

Ignoring Courtney’s smug expression, Y/N served the ball sending it straight into the air and hitting it back with all the force and aggression she could muster. The rally started up again, each stroke a testament to Y/N’s hard work over the past few months. Except this time, the winning prize was closer than it had ever been before. 

Y/N aimed the ball and landed it in the corner, Country struggling to reach it in time before it bounced off. 

“Fifteen all.” The umpire speaks. 

Her ears caught the cheers of her best friend in the crowd, Harry stood and clapped for her but she could still see how tense he was since the game had only just begun. 

This back-and-forth continued for the next few rounds. Every time Y/N would move, Courtney would match it. The scores were inching closer and closer to the end. Y/N watched when Courtney served the ball once more and aimed to respond, wrapping both her hands tightly around her racket and running towards the ball as it flung through the air but then she felt it. 

An intense pain travelled through her entire body coming from her shoulder and travelling down her arm. 

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion, the ball landing right by her as she dropped to her knees and her racket fell from her hands. Y/N let out a pained scream as she clutched her shoulder.

Medics ran onto the court, people gasping in their seats as they watched the events unfold. “Harry,” Y/N whimpered, “Harry,” She was saying his name like he was looking out for him. 

“Stop moving,” One of the medics urged when Y/N tried to stand up. 

“Harry,” Y/N sobbed, tears falling from her eyes. 

She wasn’t sure what hurt more - her shoulder or her heart breaking from the thought of all this being over. 

“Y/N,” Harry was out of breath as he approached her, pushing the security out of the way when they tried to stop him. He collapsed to his knees beside her, searching for the damage.

“Harry,” Y/N cried, the only word she could possibly seem to say in a moment like this.

Harry didn’t know what to do. He felt helpless as he waited for the medics to finish checking out her arm. He held her head to his chest, covering her ears as though it would be enough to shelter her from all that was going on around them. “It’s okay baby,” He whispered, trying to remain calm despite the panic he was feeling. 

He felt as though this was all some kind of nightmare he couldn’t seem to wake up from. Flashbacks from his own injury came to the forefront of his mind as he sat beside her, his shirt dampening as her tears seeped through. “You’re going to be fine,” He told her, repeatedly like he was trying to make himself believe it too. 

“It’s ruined, I failed.” Y/N sobbed. 

“Hey,” He held her face, trying to smooth some of the tears away, “You’re not a failure and you didn’t ruin anything. You played so well, the best I’ve ever seen.”

“It’s over,” She couldn’t take in anything he was saying and he knew that.

He knew what she was feeling - how the pain of losing everything outweighed the physical pain of an injury. “I love you Y/N, you’re going to be okay.” Was all he could say. 

“Y/N, it's a mild dislocation,” one of the medics explained.

“What?” Y/N tried not to scream as they moved her arm.

“We need to take you to the hospital to get it reset,” they advised, but Y/N shook her head immediately.

“No,” she whispered urgently, “Do it now.”

“Y/N—” Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Ignoring him, Y/N locked eyes with him and insisted, “Put it back in now, and I can finish the game.”

“Y/N, this is crazy,” Harry protested, shaking his head, “I won’t let you go out there in this much pain.”

“You’ve done it before,” she reminded him, “I watched you dislocate your shoulder and keep playing.”

“This is different,” Harry argued, remembering his own injury.

“If I don’t finish this, I would hate myself,” Y/N insisted earnestly, “Please.”

“Y/N, you’ll be at a disadvantage. You’d have to play the entire game with one hand.”

“I know, and I know how to do it,” Y/N reassured him, her eyes softening, “Because you taught me.”

Harry struggled with a gut feeling that this was a terrible idea. “Okay,” he relented, brushing her hair back gently, “Okay.”

“Are you sure?” the medic asked, clearly apprehensive.

“Just do it,” Y/N spoke through gritted teeth.

Harry held the back of her head as she buried her face in his neck, clinging onto his hands tightly. “I’m gonna be so mad at you for this later,” he whispered into her ear.

“That’s okay,” Y/N attempted a smile, but it quickly faded as the medics reset her shoulder. She wailed and squeezed Harry’s hand so tightly he thought it might fall off.

As the medics stepped back, Y/N raised her arm, feeling the pain subside but still present. “Are you okay?” Harry asked, concern etched on his face.

“No,” Y/N said, “But I have to do this.”

The crowd gasped when Y/N stood, picking up her racket with one hand and flipping it in her hand. Harry stood, glancing over at Courtney who was equally as shocked as everybody else. 

He stood in front of Y/N, “I’m so pissed at you right now,” He huffs, “But you better win this.”

Y/N shot him a sad smile, “I’ll try my best.”

He hastily kissed her lips before she could walk away to carry on playing, “That’s all I ask,” He murmured against her. He walks back to his place in the stands, Y/N watching as he goes. 

She pushed away the pain that was shooting down her arm and stood on her end of the court to finish the game. Courtney seemed unsure, scanning the way she stood and seeing her limp arm beside her. 

Y/N glanced at the academy trophy, feeling like it was now out of reach. 

The umpire announced the final round and the tension fell thick in the air. Y/N inhaled a shaky breath and got into position, watching as Courtney threw the ball into the air and hit it with her racket. 

Even though one of her arms wasn’t exactly working, her legs worked just fine as she ran for the ball, hitting it with her racket in her one hand. She gritted her teeth when the pain increased with her movements and met Coutrney’s rallies as best as she could. The match raged on, each swing of the racket echoing with the intensity of her cries as Y/N hit the ball. 

With each shot, Y/N poured her heart and soul into the game, her movements fueled by sheer determination. The crowd held its breath, watching in awe as she defied the odds with every stroke.

As the pain intensified, Y/N's desperation for the game to end grew. She couldn't understand why Courtney hadn't already sealed the win with one final move. However, Y/N was slowly wondering whether Courtney was using her pain as a way of satisfying her own ego. Y/N noticed whenever she winced or faltered in her movements, Courtney's smirk widened as if she was intentionally prolonging the game to relish in Y/N's discomfort.

A surge of anger ignited within Y/N at the realisation. Harry had been right about Courtney's ego, and now Y/N was determined to turn it against her. 

With gritted teeth and a steely determination in her eyes, Y/N squared her shoulders and focused solely on the game. She blocked out the pain, channeling every ounce of her strength and skill into each swing of her racket.

Courtney's smirk faltered as Y/N's resolve became palpable. The crowd sensed a shift in momentum, their cheers growing louder. With each stroke, Y/N felt herself gaining ground, her movements becoming more fluid and precise. 

And then, with one final, decisive shot, she sent the ball sailing past Courtney, landing squarely within the boundaries of the court.

Y/N fell to her knees, tears falling from her eyes as she realised she had won the entire game. 

Harry, Sarah, Mitch and Adam all leapt from the stands and ran towards her, embracing her carefully so to avoid her aching shoulder. 

Harry picked her up, holding her tightly and kissing her face, “You did it,” He grinned, “You won.”

“I did it,” Y/N sobbed in disbelief and then a smile took over her entire face as realisation hit her. 

She had won. 

. . . 

Y/N stood by her locker with Sarah, her arm wrapped in a sling whilst wearing her school uniform. Banners littered the walls of the hallway with ‘congratulations’ written in golden handwriting across them. 

“I can’t believe you won’t be coming with me to UCL next year,” Sarah huffed, “How am I meant to do anything without you?”

Y/N smiled at her best friend, “The tennis academy is a twenty minute walk away from UCL so it’s not like we’ll be away from each other.”

“I know but who am I going to roomie with next year?” Sarah sighed, “It won’t be the same. We’ve been roommates since we were five, I can’t trust anybody like I do with you. I mean, you even accept my white noise machine.”

Y/N hadn’t accepted it, she hated that thing, but Sarah was her best friend so she put up with it, “Well how about we get an apartment together?” 

Sarah almost gasps, “Seriously?”

Y/N nods, “I was thinking maybe me, you, Mitch and Harry could all move in together since we’re going to be living in the same city.”

Sarah’s entire face lights up at the idea, “Have you told Harry about it?”

“We spoke about it last night.” Last night when she stayed the night at his apartment and spent most of the night tangled up in one another. 

Sarah squealed, “I have to tell Mitch, he is going to love that idea. Don’t tell Harry this but the other day he started crying at the thought of having to leave him when the year ends.”

They walked out of the school building together, Sarah rambling about how she wanted to decorate their non-existing apartment as Y/N nodded intently to each of her ideas. 

Since the Academy Slam, not much had changed other than the fact that Y/N was now going to be spending the next two years at the Tennis Academy in London. The school newspaper had done another interview with her but this time she didn’t mind so much that Harry shared the front cover with her, pride on his face as he looked down at her. 

Even though she was achieving her dreams, nothing compared to the relationship she had with Harry. Everyday Y/N felt like she was floating whenever she woke up in Harry’s arms in his apartment or in her tiny dorm bed whenever Sarah wasn’t around. 

A smile covered her entire face when she saw Harry looking like every girl’s wet dream, leaning up against the bonnet of his audi as he waited for her. When he did, his own smile mirrored hers, “Hi baby,” He spoke, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Hi Harry,” Y/N stood toe to toe in front of him, clutching her books in one arm. 

He wrapped one arm around her waist beneath her blazer and pulled her into his chest, kissing her lips softly, his breath tasting like mint chewing gum, “How’s m’ girl?”

Y/N bit down on her lip to stop herself from smiling so much, “Good, I had a test today.”

“Did you smash it?” He smirked. 

“Yes but I probably could have done better if somebody hadn’t kept me up all last night.” She rolled her eyes. 

His lips went to her neck, “Don’t lie, you loved what I did,” He mumbled against her skin as he suckled on her neck, surely leaving a mark. 

“These late nights are getting out of hand,” Y/N made a feeble attempt to push him away. 

“Mmm,” He hummed, pulling away, “Need I remind you that you were the one to initiate it,” 

“I did not,” Y/N gaped. 

“Uh huh,” Harry smirked, “Whatever you want to believe.”

“No you were the one who-” 

Harry’s smirk deepened, “Who what?” He watched as Y/N’s cheeks turned pink and her mouth open and closed as she struggled to say something. 

“Shut up,” She huffed, walking to the passenger seat of his car,  “Take me home please,” 

“Whatever you want,” He beamed, loving the way she called his apartment her home. 

He drove away from the tennis courts, a spark of joy igniting within her every time they came into view. Harry held her hand over the console as they drove down the streets to his apartment, feeling more at peace than she had ever been before. Not only was she going to be going to her dream school but she’d also be with Harry and her best friend too. 

For a long time, Y/N believed that tennis was the only love of her life but now she had Harry and if she had to choose between the two, she would pick him every single time.

taglist: @storyschanging @lilbredsticc @esposa-do-harry @st-ev-ie @itschelseacisneros @hermionelove @tenaciousperfectionunknown  @hesvoid34 @writersarenotartists @ayeree1 @sassamanda77 @estaticheart

[goldfades]

Omg omg omg I just thought about uconn wbb team with their manager on live moments. Can we get a headcannon or fic for this?

I like to think that despite being the manager, she is best friends with the team and tends to be with them (they totally didn’t pull her from her work cuz she works so much noooooo, not at all)

(^ this could also possible be why people are suspicious of she has something going on with one of the team members cuz she’s almost ALWAYS with them even outside of school and it’s to a point where ppl are like “um🤨 she’s around y’all a lot to JUST be a manager.”Just food for thought👀)

BUT IN THIS CASE, as i mentioned before we can’t expect manager-baby to be in tiktok’s and other videos and just (somehow) not being pulled into their live shenanigans.

BUT this is where people see a. just how done the manager is with the girls and b. THEIR PERSONALITY

I guarentee the girls always say how the manager is like “she’s very witty/sarcastic/a smartass/sweet/hyper.” and ppl at first are like “??? you mean that manager with a mean ass death stare?? no way.” And this is where the live moments come through.

You can really see how much she cherishes the team and her bond with them, and no matter how much they may bicker and tease eachother. They love one another.

There’s 100% a tiktok compilation of the manager being sassy/a smartass in lives you cannot convince me otherwise. Also I think manager has a MEAN ass side eye.

Along the sweetness you can also see how much they fuckin bicker.

“KK, you’re delulu with or without a man involved.”

KK: “Okay you’re off the live.” *shifts camera*

—-

“Paige you have the confidence of a much taller woman.”

Paige: “Bro I’m LITERALLY taller than you.”

“That’s what makes it more embarrassing.”

——-

Also, THE TEAM PULLS OUT MANAGERS SOFT SIDE!!!! Manager may be strict but is very sweet and loving. I also personally headcannon that they’re one of those people that call their friends pet names like “baby” “babes” “darling” “love” “sugar” “pumpkin” etc. on instinct cuz of their sweet nature. And it’s not like they’re TRYING to fluster people, it’s just what they do. Manager loves platonic love!!!! They’re also the girls safe place.

Manager can’t help but melt when it comes to the team because she just cares for them so much and they just easily take away her tough guy mask.

Also more rare clips of manager lowkey (high key) flirting with the team, which is something she tends to do off camera but sometimes slips out when the cameras rolling. (There’s 100% someone on the team that calls the manager their wife. The “yall argue like a married couple.” people)

-🐹

yes, nonnie!! manager is really close with the team because she's known them for so long and she spends sooo much time with them, it's kinda bound to happen

at first i feel like people would not like manager just because she's the friendilest (AT FIRST!!!!) but when they begin to make tik toks/do lives with her, everyone falls in love with her!!!!!!!

she's very much the glue of the team and like, she has a dynamic with everyone on the team. her and nika are like BEST friends, kk and her have a little/older sister dynamic, paige and her have an old married couple dynamic, so on and so forth. every loves a good dynamic so everyone just falls in love with her!!

oh my god, YES. she becomes a staple in UConn "fandom" bc like, she's just so iconic like??? there's like a million compilations of manager side eyeing people bc its sooo funny

the whole petname thing is SO real, thats also why people start to believe that she's dating one of the players😭😭 ALSO, when she meets fans and stuff, she will call them petnames (again cus it's like normal for her) and again people just fall in love w her

there are more random manager headcanons coming soon promise 🫶🏼

SEND MORE THOUGHTS, I LOVE READING THEMMMMM!!!!!!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

might be a controversial/unpopular opinion but i headcanon that any classic variant of sans has some sort of superiority complex going on. maybe not exactly that, but they're some flavor of self-righteous, i guess?

OKAY LISTEN. i'm not saying sans is a bad guy or anything (i love him very much i swear). canon sans is written really well in the sense that he's intentionally very vague and mysterious so we can speculate a lot on his past and intentions throughout the story. idk, maybe my reading is completely off but sans appears to me as a lovable asshole, especially to someone who is a child (frisk). he likes playing around with frisk - yeah it's harmless but still his advice tends to be vague, especially when it comes to battle tips lmao. just imagine in-universe how terrible his advice comes off to a child.

and like, the restaurant scene. sans is intentionally acting all blithe about letting a child die on his watch, under a promise - like i know it's supposed to be a funny off-hand comment to the player, but in-universe again he addresses this to a child. it's just- lmao this guy has some problems for sure.

i think being self-righteous is just tied to his role as a judge as well. he's always 'right' in his judgement, because that's what he is. i think it's just interesting to explore that particular aspect of sans' personality, that he acts in what he thinks is right, and he's always right, isn't he? maybe that's why i tend to enjoy undertale stories where sans somewhat assumes the role of the antagonist - it creates some fantastic dynamic with people around him who it seems like he never really connects well.

~ crowshipping anon

Crow!! Yayy!!

And I honestly kinda vibe with this interpretation honestly. I haven’t completely finished playing all the Undertale games myself (curse my lack of motivation 😭), but I watched a few playthroughs here and there, and it seems like something that could make sense.

Especially when he’s given such an important position like a being a Judge, his opinions and judgements are likely taken seriously by Asgore.

And the thing is, you can also make an argument for this with our most popular classic variants; the Murder Time Trio. Murder justifies what he does as being better that he does it instead of the human, justifies it with that he will eventually stop the human.

Really, he may even argue that his current actions don’t really even go against his job as the Judge; he has judged that the human must be stopped, and he has to do it because he’s the only one who can. I’ve even seen some ideas going around that maybe he views himself as the Angel from the Prophecy, having judged that the Underground will be free by death.

Horror is the entire reason his Underground started eating humans, and he is also the reason that the Core is damaged beyond repair. He didn’t want to sacrifice himself for the Underground, and he survived the event that took his eye, yet he still judged that Undyne and Alphys had to pay for their betrayal—and in doing so he decided that the rest of the Underground would be doomed to starvation or eating people.

He decided to trick Horror Papyrus into eating human meat even though Papyrus very clearly did not want to, and Horror doesn’t seem all too guilty about it—even as Papyrus goes out of his way to prevent Horror from eating humans at his own request.

I’ve even seen around by bigger Horror/Horrortale fans than me that Horror’s reasons for starving himself may not even be entirely selfless—such as for a moral reason or wanting others to have more food than him. But rather because he views it as beneath him and he won’t go “that low.” How canon that is, im not sure, but it’s interesting.

Then meanwhile there’s Killer. He sneers at Swap and threatens to kill him if he ever attempts to compare himself to Killer again, he holds the beliefs and mindsets of his human that were taught to him very closely and looks down on anyone who views things differently with contempt—especially if they attempt to “force” him to view things differently.

Things like mercy or kindness or hesitation are seen as weakness and things to take advantage of in his mind. Even himself is not free from this nihilistic, fatalistic, violence and apathetic driven worldview—-looking down on himself in Stage 1.

He will go out of his way to prove himself and his views right, even if that means doing exactly what Chara did and coercing/provoking someone into killing, attacking, hurting, etc, either themselves, others, or even him.

This is exactly what he was supposed to be, and it’s pointless to try and change or hope for anything more than what he or anyone else deserves. He probably finds Murder’s attempts to justify his genocides absolutely ridiculous. And Horror to be absolutely hypocritical. (Which is why Color’s specific way of approaching Stage 2, wanting to show him a better life—something new—rather than trying to change or fix him, worked so well.)

[respectthepetty]

considering the convo we were having in your comment section yesterday, when slayer mentioned that it's a good thing dad/boss didn't return chenyi's feelings, it got me thinking: do you think dad/boss knows about chenyi's feelings? do you think he realized it one day and, to discourage chenyi, started being stricter on him? i wonder!!!!

@bitacrytic, before I get started -

TLWR: I don't think the dad/boss was aware, and "boss" is code to Chen Yi.

I loved the conversation that happened on your post and within the comments of mine about Eddie x Chen Yi's brother-ness, and the inclusion of their boss/dad into their relationship.

Without getting deeper into the mud about found family's dynamics, I don't think the dad was aware of Chen Yi's feeling. He is their boss, but he very much treated them like sons, and told them to call him dad several times.

He wanted to celebrate their birthdays with them, but Eddie didn't, and when they had their family dinner, he specifically made spicy food for Eddie.

Yet both boys continue to call him "boss"

I've watched this show eighty million times on each streaming platform because the subtitles are strangely different, yet all of them keep the "boss" label.

So while their boss is trying to be their dad, they are linguistically enforcing a hard limit with him - he will ONLY be their boss.

I write all of this to support why I think the boss was unaware of Chen Yi feelings since Chen Yi is king of linguistic boundaries.

Chen Yi establishes his relationships with their adjacent labels regardless of his true feelings. He loves Chen Dong Yang, but he labels him as "boss" not "dad." Chen Yi loves Eddie as well, so he calls him "brother."

Chen Yi has no romantic feelings for Eddie, so he can establish that familial bond through language, but he believes he has romantic feelings for the boss, so he doesn't want to establish anything familial with him. Yes? NO!

Rui told Chen Yi he needed to realize the difference between admiration and love, and physically, Chen Yi does. He tells Eddie he cares.

He confesses his frustration about not being able to contact Eddie.

And he constantly shows Eddie how much he loves him.

We don't see much of his interactions with his boss, but he makes sure to show no level of affection. Most of the time, Chen Yi doesn't even look him in the eye. And he always calls him boss. Because he looks up to his boss. He respects him. But he doesn't love him.

So how would the boss know that Chen Yi likes him when he is so cold and distant? Chen Yi is possessive of Eddie. He drags him off of people and out of bars. He wipes blood off his face and goes into a murderous rage if someone hurts Eddie. But to his boss, nothing.

Because, once again, the labels are important to Chen Yi. He loves Eddie. Eddie is family, so he can use "brother," but he thinks he loves his boss differently, therefore, he can't use "dad." He believes he wants this to be romantic, but in his need to create that distinction, he created a physical boundary as well that would be difficult to read as anything but diligent underling. But with his brother, that physical boundary didn't exist.

Which makes it far more interesting that when he picked Eddie up from jail, he didn't call them brothers. He said he was Eddie's "boss." And we know that Chen Yi makes that distinction between "boss" (someone he is allowed to have romantic feelings for), and family (someone he can't have romantic feelings for).

And it's even more interesting that when they are arguing, Chen Yi makes that linguistic distinction AGAIN.

The man Chen Yi has consistently called his "boss" and never admitted to the fact that he RAISED them, now openly states it because the boss IS family. He is their dad. He has no romantic feelings towards family members, but he can have those feelings for people he works with.

Chen Yi never showed his boss he cared. The label he gave him showed he didn't see him as family, but he never psychically demonstrated that, so the boss probably had no idea. But he always showed Eddie physically that he loved him, and now he is using the language to tell him that as well. Chen Yi isn't Eddie's "brother"

He is Eddie's "boss"

And to Chen Yi, the label changes everything.

[iu-xo]

"Like we've always hated each other"

Adaptation and confrontation.

intro part 1 part 2 part 3

God Adam is super ooc here, but I hope you enjoy reading it as I enjoyed writing it! I accept constructive criticism to improve!!

Note, this is the longest part so far!

In the hotel livingroom, spread across the sofa's, were all the members of the Hazbin hotel discussing an apparently important and delicate topic..

..while a lamb demon waited sitting on the stairs as if it were a child waiting for the adults to speak, needless to say, he was not happy with it at all, but it's not like he had any say in it, But that doesn't meant he like it tho..

With his head down looking at the ground, with his elbows on his knees and his fists on his chin, his gaze was tense as if he were an angry child, which made him feel a little... How when he really used to just feel like an angry child.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-Love.. I know you think everyone should have the opportunity to decide to change.. and I love that about you.. BUT WE ARE, TALKING. ABOUT. ADAM. here.. You know..

On the couches there was a discussion which was mostly carried out by the two girls with notoriously divided opinions, The others argued among themselves and thought about how comfortable they would be if the idea that the princess defended was done

- i know.. and I'm not asking you to forgive him... or even to integrate him! That would be something he would have to earn, but vaggie...

The princess put her hands on her bride's shoulders, and in her eyes you could see the hope that her words carried

-He came here. He decided to come here..

-Soooo maybe... I could have had something to do with that.

Lucifer interrupted between the two girls, and the Salvadoran woman was intrigued by what her father-in-law had to say

-What do you mean by that ?

His daughter asked with the same intrigue.

-Well... when I went to put up the flyers I found him in the streets, at first I didn't recognize him because... you know.

The rest of the recidents began to pay attention to the king's explanation, since he was the one who seemed to have seen Adam before, and know why it could help them make a sensible decision, or maybe they just wanted to hear the gossip

-And if I'm honest he was about to get the shit kicked out of him If I hadn't been there... I'm afraid he's only here as last resource char, not because he wants... to change. I mean... honey, it's Adam..

Charlie's face was listening to her father, but she didn't look discouraged or surprised, she may have been hopeful but even she knows who Adam is, she knows what he did and she's not happy with him, It wasn't even in her plans to forgive him soon, even if that was against her recovery program, but still, she firmly believed that he could earn forgiveness, whit time, but for that they had to give him that time.

-I know, I'm not saying that I think... he wants it.

She glanced at the demon sitting on the stairs, Charlie's heart aching at the thought that he is the same one who was directing the massacres that have terrorized her people all this time, the reason this hotel existed in the first place... but... wouldn't that make helping him even more noble and selfless? and Charlie was very good at it, of course that didn't mean that they would have no limits for the comfort of her residents, The sudden static brought Charlie and everyone out of their thoughts.

-Well, look, dear... I'm not the most enthusiastic about leaving this... monstrosity. Within our walls, but I fully trust your judgment, if I don't get bothered of course.

The hotel producer said with his characteristic charisma and mannerisms when speaking, Vaggie reacted distrustfully to his statement, but Charlie gladly accepted his contribution.

-Look kid.. You really gotta be careful with that little shit there, He is a spoiled brat who believes that the consequences will not reach him, so if you want to get something out of it, you'll need more than preschool dynamics, food and shelter, like with legs here.

He said this while pointing to Angel Dust who was sitting on the floor leaning on the couch where Husk was sitting.

- Hey!

Everyone started arguing again while Charlie thought with a lot of pressure on her, but in response she revived a hand on her shoulder making her feel calmer

-We may need... limits, and many conditions... but I trust you honey, you will know what to do amor

Charlie smiled warmly at her beloved, and put his hand on hers, and then stood in the middle of everyone there, ready to anounce the decision made

- okey dokie! It is already decided! He will be given the opportunity to test himself, but for everyone's comfort someone will be in charge of him!

Everyone seemed indifferent to the decision, really no one could have an opinion right now, only time would tell, but in all this there was a doubt that hovered among everyone, a doubt that only angel externalized

-and who will be the unfortunate toots?

Everyone looked at Angel and then looked back at Charlie waiting for The answer to the question, who would take care of Adam?

- MY DAD!!

Lucifer choked on his breath in surprise, looking at her dumbfounded.

-Excuse me?

-You're the one who knows him the best! I know he's mom's shitty ex and all, but... don't you think it would even be good therapy to deal with past conflicts?

She said with an emotion so characteristic of her that only she could be excited about something like that.

-amazing...

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Adam kept looking at the floor, he was there but he wasn't quite really there, His mind felt much.. higher. feeling so helpless brought back unwanted feelings, unwanted memories, and a familiarity he didn't want to experience. and a familiarity he didn't want to experience.

He could see almost clearly a young Adam sitting next to a very large door, while he heard voices on the other side of it, imposing voices, giant voices... They were talking about him? They must have been doing it, otherwise because he would be there, he kept hearing that it was the most beautiful creation... the most important, the most perfect, they must have been talking about him.

Suddenly he saw a silhouette in the frame of the big door, He saw a smile form on the unknown silhouette, he just tilted his head to the side in doubt, something that the silhouette copied, and then laughed, a mischievous laugh, but innocent at the same time, Adam He was surprised, also curious, a little intimidated, but the silhouette disappeared among golden sparkles, to which Adam exclaimed disappointedly

- Ow..

Behind him, more golden sparkles appeared, followed by a voice close to his ear at a cautious distance, but not so cautious as not to make him jump.

-hello there!

-BWAH!

The man jumped back, slipping on the floor and heading straight to fall to the ground, it is not as if the ground were not clouds, but falling is still falling, The mysterious figure with a soft wing grabbed Adam from behind and helped him stand back up, to which Adam became a little agitated.

-sorry there! I didn't mean to scare you..

He said followed by a giggle, an unmistakable laugh, an angelic laugh, of course, that's what he was made for, being angelic and all that.

-are you... what are you?

The figure blinked perplexed at the question, but then realized

-Oh, of course, of course... you haven't even existed for 15 minutes, of course you don't know who I am.

Adam's eyes widened

-Lucifer morningstar, a pleasure.. Adam.

-Adam..?

Lucifer laughed ay his response as he fluttered his wings causing a breeze, a breeze that made Adam's skin crawl, that had been his first sensation

-Don't tell me that I accidentally introduced You to your name...?

-Adam looked at him without saying much, not that he could say much, he had been born a few minutes ago, but he didn't need much knowledge to know that he liked his name, Or maybe he just liked the way it sounded in the voice of the angel in front of him.

- Hey, earth calling Adam.

A familiar voice brought Adam out of his thoughts and he went from looking at the ground to looking into the eyes of whoever was in front of him, much to his dismay.

-What the fuck is it? Spit it out.

He had to admit that he was a little nervous that they would throw him back out on the streets, he was tired of sleeping in alleys and fighting with guys every day since he had woken up in that shitty place.

-You're lucky Charlie is a better person than me. Come on, I'll show you your room, I explain conditions on the way there.

Lucifer began to climb the stairs without looking to see if Adam was following him or not. Adam grumbled at not being able to complain about the arrogant treatment, Karma existed and it was a bitch. He got up from the stairs and started walking behind him With a shitty attitude to say the least, when they reached the hallway the angel started talking.

-Number one, don't cause problems

Adam felt his blood burn at having to listen to someone's instructions... more about fucking Lucifer, the life-stealer himself, at what point had his life come to this

-Number two, be cooperative.

They arrived at a room and Lucifer used the key to open it, he taked out the key and offered it to Adam.

- And number three, at Charlie's request I am your designated babysitter.

He said this with arrogance which made Adam scratch the ground with his hoof and grunt, immediately he stopped seeing the figure of Lucifer and only golden sparkles remained, to hear a voice in his back which made him jump.

-So expect me around quite often, do we understand?

Adam tried to hit him with his elbow even though he was behind him but Lucifer dodged, getting back in front of him, Adam fustrated seeked to grumbleed to grumble at him

- Don't you know another fucking cheap trick?!

-awww Do you remember my tricks then?

Lucifer smiled, raising his ego when he thought that he still remembered things that the now ex-angel seemed to want to pretend to have forgotten.

-Well, enjoy your stay lamb, tomorrow morning you will participate in Charlie's activity. not open to debate.

Adam grumbled as he watched the pale king walk away. Once out of his field of vision, he entered the room and locked it behind him. Once inside, he analyzed the contents of the room, bed, furniture, dresser, closet, Bathroom, quite... decent.

He didn't take any steps and slipped through the door until he reached the floor. Already sitting on the floor, he brought his hands to his face to grunt into the air.

-shiiiiit..

He had no idea what he was doing... really... although his blood burned when he thought about it, Lucifer was right, he had come here because he didn't want to be alone, he had never been alone, he didn't know how to be alone, And even when he was, he really wasn't.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As he walked down the hallway he sighed heavily, he didn't enjoy bothering his opponent when he looked so miserable... it was funny when he came attacking the hotel because he deserved it, but now... If he didn't know what a shitty person he had been he would start to feel guilty, god...

He entered his own room since it was late at night by that point, he closed the door and my good entered the room, he threw his vest in the corner of the room and sat down at the desk next to the window, letting his head fall with a loud "bump" on it, only to raise his gaze slightly to see through the window, a small rubber duck rested in the frame of it, It wasn't a super complicated duck, it was a simple yellow duck with dot eyes, the original model you could say, the... the original.. model.

Wandering in Lucifer's mind, clouds formed, clouds with memories, and suddenly he could see the cold, white corridors, those enormous corridors that filled heaven, He saw himself standing there, listening to such dumb orders...

-And remember, stay at your station, do your homework, and most importantly, don't. Go. To. The garden.

The superior looked at him with the certainty that Lucifer was not listening to a word he was saying, or rather, he was listening to him, but he would not listen to any of the instructions as soon as he turned around.

-No worries!

He looked at him in disbelief, but even so his superior turned around and went to attend to pending matters, things from heaven, and as soon as he turned the corner lucifer was already flying directly towards the garden, once in front of the door he made a small turn and in no time he was a bird, Already in this form, flapping happily, he entered the garden looking for a specific being, once he saw it, he came down and perched on the branch of a tree.

-How are you doing big guy?

Upon hearing those words, the brown-haired human who was at the edge of the lake with something in his hands looked up, searching everywhere for where the voice was coming from, once he saw the little white bird he smiled happy to see it.

-LUCI! Come here you haaave to see this! It's so sick!

Fulfilling the man's wish, the angel came down from that branch, taking his most humanoid form, standing behind him, crouching a little, since the human was kneeling in front of the lake

-What have you got there??

With an excited gleam in his eyes, he opened his hands, first revealing some yellow fuzz, followed by a round head a pair of black eyes and a round, flattened beak

-It's a bird... but swims! Isn't that super cool??

The angel momentarily moved away from him to strike a dramatic pose, while gesticulating as he spoke.

-i wonder who is the great mastermind behind the creation of this impressive creature.. don't you?

Adam looked at his friend in surprise, he was very happy for him since he knew that he was not usually allowed to propose ideas.. very less bring them to life

-oh god really?? That's awesome man!

The angel simply blushed slightly while making a gesture with his hand showing his shyness

-It's no big deal..

The king of hell came to himself when he looked at the clock on his desk and noticed that it was past three in the morning, and then he wondered why he couldn't get out of bed... He opened his desk drawer and took a couple of pills, the ones he usually asked Belphegor to help him fall asleep. In a snap he was already wearing his pajamas and he threw himself on the unmade bed, Tomorrow would be another day...

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

As the sun rose in the sulfur hole where they lived, screams could already be heard on the ground floor of the hotel despite it being so early in the morning, surprisingly the first person to get up It wasn't Charlie, or Alastor, or even Nifty, Adam was the one who was standing in the kitchen trying to solve the great mystery that was how the coffee maker worked, It wasn't his fault that his exorcists made his coffee all the time... well, maybe it was his fault.

Charlie came down the stairs, like the morning bird she was, and when she saw Adam having trouble with the coffee maker she came over to offer him a hand, although she was a little surprised to see him awake...she would have assumed he would get up more like her father... after two pm or so.. don't judge a book by its cover I guess!

-A little help?

Adam made an annoyed face, not even because of the help, but because he saw him not knowing how to use the fucking machine, he stepped aside, reluctantly accepting Charlie's help.

-In heaven these shits are different.

Charlie rolled her eyes, it was to be expected that he would try to make excuses, everyone knew he was spoiled brat, of course he didn't know how to make his own coffee.

-I want to believe that you know how to serve it... right?

The lamb-demon cheeks turned redish, embarrassed, he snatched the cup from Charlie's hand, which was pointing in his direction, implying that she was offering it to him.

-Of course i do bitch! What kind of assumption is that??

Charlie put both hands in the air, surprised by his reaction, but just smiled nervously, trying to spread her kindness and make the environment not so hostile.

-Sure, sure, I was just asking.

After pouring her own coffee she walked towards the room where she had her plan for today's activity hanging on the wall, with pins and other stuff, Adam lost interest in seeing what she was doing very quickly as soon as she left the kitchen.

Time passed, and he was hungry, but... he didn't know how to... feed himself, it wasn't his fault that he always had one of his exorcists bringing him a sandwich the moment his stomach growled! maybe... maybe a little but that wasn't the point.

About half an hour had passed since coffee and Adam was staring at the buttons on the stove, as if at any moment it was going to turn on, he also opened the refrigerator every two minutes as if he would magically know how to put stuff together to make something edible..

The next one to wake up was surprisingly angel, he hadn't been late from work so he had had a decent night's sleep, Coming down with fat nuggets in his arms and looking at his cell phone, he noticed out of the corner of his eye the problems that the newcomer had with the kitchen, he was no saint who helped others, but anyway he had already planned to eat something, what difference did it make to give an express self-sufficiency class?

He approached without warning and pushed Adam slightly, making his way to the refrigerator

- HEY- what the fuck dumb shit-

Angel silenced him with one of his arms while he took things out of the refrigerator with the others, fat nuggets were waiting on the chair at the table

-Quick lesson on how to make a omelet hot stuff ?

Adam aggressively removed his hand from her face as he watched her do everything with such ease... so many arms made everything look even easier than it should...

-Oooor I can go, and leave you to eat shit.

Angel said with a smile on his face while waiting for his answer, Adam simply stomped twice on the ground, gave a frustrated cry, and looked back at the miserable sinner in front of him, although... right now he looked much more capable than him, but I would never Say that outloud.

-Fine.

Angel smiled triumphantly, giving him a bowl and passing him the eggs

-crack them. Pm m

Adam stared at the egg and then at the bowl, he had seen people do it but he never really... did anything. Please it was heaven! He was'nt supposed to care about this nonsense! When he was alive this shit didn't exist either..

-like this..

Angel cracked a couple of eggs naturally, like anyone down here and like any living person, Adam was simply a special case, but yet strangely Angel didn't seem to be ridiculing him, which... seemed strange to him to say the least.

-aha..

First it was an egg, then another, they began to beat, while Angel turned on the stove and Adam watched him do it, he stayed chopping spinach at Angel's instruction, At one point Adam was making his own breakfast while Angel was eating at the table a meter away.

Lucifer came down the stairs and saw the situation, as he buttoned his shirt and fixed the collar of it he could see how... calm and cooperative Adam looked, which was strange to see, to say the least.

A couple of hours passed, now everyone was awake, Adam took up the entire large sofa in the living room, He pretended to play chords on an air guitar, He seemed very calm, too calm.. The angel sat on the arm of the couch, next to Adam's head... The angel sat on the arm of the couch, next to Adam's head.

-I saw you very sociable at lunch... is it due to something?

-Yeah, because I wanted to fucking eat.

He got up from the couch and left leaving a lucifer dissatisfied with his answer, there had to be something he wasn't seeing...

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

-Now we Say something Nice about each other!

The afternoon was falling and Charlie had everyone in a circle in the living room, right now they had to say something nice about each other, and Charlie would decide to make them bond even more, according to her words

-and.. dad! I want you to start by saying something nice about...

He thought for a moment... if he could get his dad to bond with anyone since no one knows him very well... but on the other hand he has been tense all afternoon with Adam... yeah that's it!

-adam!

Lucifer opened his eyes in surprise, he didn't expect that, and Adam's felt ashamed, almost hurt, which he tried to hide by looking away, Angel looked curious the rest just look them and wait for their answer.

-amm well..

everyone was looking at him, so he felt pressure, and felt his heart sink into his chest, so he tired to look at something else, and his gaze ended in Adam, he was looking away.. he.. didn't think he would have something nice to say? he was mad?? Maybe he was just hiding something from him, oh well, it was Charlie's activity, he has to do it rigth, and.. He was probably the best person to say something positive about Adam.

-He is... a very creative mind, when the situation calls for it... he finds the most ingenious solutions to problems and... he's a very fast learner.

Everyone's faces showed some surprise, Lucifer used to be clumsy in communicating and awkward in conversations, seeing Adam express himself like that was... something unexpected, After feeling all eyes on him, Adam stood up in silence, walked towards the stairs and continued to what was probably his room.

-Maybe we should go after him-

Charlie tried to go after him but a hand stopped her in the act

-Maybe we should give him space honey.

Although Charlie felt bad leaving him alone, Vaggie was right he needed, but then Lucifer stood up too.

-sorry char... I'm going to my room, good luck with the rest of the activity tho

Lucifer said to his daughter with a warm but somewhat tired smile, then he disappeared among golden sparks.

-That... could have turned out better.

Charlie said while scratching her neck, a little embarrassed for putting them in that situation, but in the end it wasn't her fault, it seemed like they had old issues that Charlie couldn't fix with some silly activities.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

After the activity that had gone so terribly a few hours earlier, the king lay rotting in his bed, complaining from time to time, It was weird, But having Adam there was as if he had to be reliving a past that he had been escaping from for so long..

-Damn it..

Suddenly the door to her room burst open revealing a rather distraught princess, maybe she should start locking the door.

- DAD! Adam is not in his room, do you think you can see if he is okay?! I really have no idea where he could be and I'm running out of places to look..

She said almost crying because of how worried she was, her father reluctantly got out of bed and cracked his back.

-Yes, yes, I'll look for him, don't worry dear.

He said putting on his jacket to go out to look for it in some possible places, first he searched some empty rooms of the hotel, when he found nothing but dust adorning the door frames Deciding that maybe asking would be a good idea, she asked his daughter-in-law, He asked the bartender whose name he still didn't know, he even asked the strange maid, but no one seemed to know, he thought it was a good time to look outside, So he went out the front door and walked everywhere in case he hadn't gone too far. He was very focused but something hitting his head took him out of his mind.

- ouh!

He saw the object fall to the floor and bent down to take it in his hand, was it... an orange slice?

One fell followed by this one, which made the king look up, to his surprise he saw a certain lamb that they had been looking for for almost an hour by now.. opening its imposing six wings with a single flap, it was already in front of the purpose of his search, he landed on one his side and they remained silent for a good couple of minutes.

- so.. gonna spit it out anytime soon?

Adam opened his eyes wide and with an expression that could not be read as anything other than indignation he looked directly at Lucifer in the face

- fukcing excuse me?

- Oh are you please going to tell me that you don't have something on your mind? You've been all passive and submissive the hole day, you and I know you've never been like that before! What are you up too?!

Adam's face quickly turned angry as he listened to Lucifer ramble on about topics he thought he understood when he didn't

-Isn't that what you fucking wanted?! Your bitch is thinking this shit works because I don't want to kick anyone's ass! or at least she thinks so! Isn't that all you asked for?!

Lucifer's face became irritated at the same time and he stood up and continued arguing with him

-OH PLEASE!! When in your fucking life have you done something because i said so?? What the fuck are you going to do!! Tell me before the people I care about get in danger and we kick you out of here!

Adam couldn't take it anymore, he stood up from his place and with a lump in his throat he lost his temper

- WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FUCK OFF?! I'M NOT EVEN CAUSING A DAMN PROBLEM AND I STILL CAN'T GET YOU OFF MY FUCKING BACK!

Lucifer didn't understand why he defended himself so much. They both knew that he would never do something just to be "obedient" or "correct." It frustrated him that he continued to act as if he didn't know beforehand that something else was happening whit him

-IF YOU ONLY SAID IT WE WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS STUPID PROBLEM!

The situation was heating up and they had probably already heard the screams downstairs, but they were probably too far away for anyone to know what they were saying.

-TO SAY WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY BITCH!

-Tell me WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE THIS??

Adam lost his facade, he couldn't find any excuse and he didn't know any way out of there and I wasn't even looking for it anymore, what he said just came out of him without first thinking about the consequences, like everything he fucking did.

- BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING RIGHT, I DIDN'T WANTED TO BE ALONE!

-...

Everything was silent for what had seemed like an eternity, it could have been 30 seconds or 5 minutes in total and complete silence, Lucifer's face showed surprise, guilt... pain, and Adam just pressed his throat with his dark hand to try to stop feeling that stupid lump that kept growing from his chest to his mouth.

-Is that what you wanted? Hear you were right?? to hear that once again you managed to take from me EVERYTHING I HAD?!

The fallen angel looked at him dumbfounded, he couldn't understand... he couldn't believe that Adam had been sincere, he really was so desperate. So cornered, so he was just.. scared? Adam? That Adam?

-Please... you asked for it, I wasn't the one who made you come and kill people for fun all these years, was I?

Adam looked at him with pure anger, he grumbled, he growled, he tried to get close to him to hit him but he regretted it and screamed into the air instead, he hit a box with his hoof and ended up sitting on the edge of the terrace, hugging his knees, and looking anywhere but towards lucifer, He was fucking Adam, the first dick! the fucking perfect creation! He wasn't just going to start crying right there...no matter how much he wanted to.

The angel sat next to him again, another couple of minutes in a silence so loud the entire pentagram could hear it.

-... It seems like we both screwed up a lot.

Adam's gaze softened, and he made a sound that indicated agreement, much to Lucifer's surprise.

-But... I still have one quiestion.

Adan looked curiously at the opposite, what other doubt could he have? There was nothing else..

-why... why did you leave? You know, in the room, with everyone back there.

Adam looked down trying to gather his thoughts, he could easily tell him "it's not your fucking business" but he most likely would never have the chance to tell him what he was going to say.

- It's not easy being around the only damn thing down here that still reminds me of fucking heaven..

Lucifer's eyes widened a little in surprise, as that was a thought that had also crossed his mind... of all the things he could have expected... to find comfort in Adam was not one of them.

-I... I think I get that.

tired of all this commotion, and without thinking too much the shorter one dropped his shoulder on the other's shoulder

- but it's also the only thing that reminds me... that we weren't always so fucked up.

Adam thought about pushing him, maybe out of habit, but... he just sighed, and put his weight on him too.

...

- maybe..

[donnerpartyofone]

I haven't read any of the discourse and I'm not going to, but the "male loneliness epidemic" is a curiosity to me just because it's framed as if only men get screened out of sexual competition. Part of me thinks that this is because women who are not sexually desirable are just not even seen as human by most people so there's a collective unconscious prejudice against the consideration of a GENERAL loneliness epidemic; however, I know that the consequences of male loneliness occasionally make the headlines, so there's more to the identification of this epidemic than just the treatment of ugly women as some sort of non-human pest. I just saw an excerpt from an essay by [cancelable author I don't want to argue about] where he says that economic class may be the primary social divider, but sexual currency is certainly the second. I thought everything he said was true although he did seem to imply that this only affects the lives and potential of men. I can't really blame him for just speaking from his own experience, but it often feels like "woman" is this mass concept that everyone understands to be erotic and desirable and so when we talk about "women", we almost only mean this creature who has the ultimate say over who gets laid and who doesn't, and whose biggest problem is deciding who gets access to them. Meanwhile there are these seas of women who are not sexually desirable and who are also not included in any kind of loneliness epidemic, and who is talking about that? Unfuckable women are treated like some sort of statistical outlier that is just naturally excluded from social observations, and no one feels obligated to say why that is.

I've heard a few things about gender dynamics among the heteros that insist that men actually fall in love more easily and therefore they're in more emotional peril than women are, and I thought Wow it has never been clearer that an author is surrounded by exclusively hot women and I wonder how aware they even are of why that might be. It's so funny, like that is not the stereotype I grew up with--it was exactly the opposite, that women are sensitive and often get used by men who only care about conquest and instant gratification--and it wasn't even the stereotype that I have lived with in New York City. Actually during the period when I was leaving an abusive relationship with someone who made his unfaithfulness a public spectacle, and uncertainly reentering the dating pool, there was a big article in The Village Voice about how straight women dramatically outnumbered straight men, so if you were a woman looking for a boyfriend (or family material, god forbid) you basically had to take what you could get and/or put up with letting your partner do whatever he wants at all times. That perfectly reflected my experience and the experiences of other women I have known, even the cute ones. The idea of this world where the only people who are suffering sexually and romantically are men borders on hilarious to me.

It does occur to me that maybe part of the construction of the male loneliness epidemic, that I will not research further, could be that straight men are often crazily picky. A lot of the guys I've known who have been very vocal about being desperately lonely and sexually deprived have also turned down women who were their perfect match in every way except for some standard of looks they refused to budge on. And I mean you can't always help who you're attracted to or not, but that does tend to make all the mourning and weeping about how women are too mean and shallow to fuck them sound kind of silly. Obviously it's not silly to the guy who shoots up a university because he's not surrounded by free use supermodels, but you know what I mean.

I guess the other reason I can't take the male loneliness epidemic seriously is that for men, looks aren't the main determining factor of your entire personal potential, and for women they really can be. Sexual attractiveness isn't just this thing that only affects whether you have sex, it can affect everything you ever do. I was making complaints along these lines one day, and somebody replied that they were confused because I'm married, i.e. a person fucks me so how could I possibly have complaints related to attractiveness. As if sexual currency isn't such a centralized issue of society ESPECIALLY for women, and it couldn't possibly affect things like your self-esteem or your ability to get a job or how you're treated in businesses and by the public and like, all types of other things. This won't be news to anyone, but a lot of people have a shockingly limited idea about the way things work.

[synnthamonsugar]

Sending an ask instead of commenting because I prefer to keep discourse away from my blog. but, I have to get some of this off my chest. it's bound to be lengthy, so don't feel like you have to read/respond. you just seem like maybe you'll get my point. Read this as one big I statement because of course it's my opinion and I'm not out here reading everyone's minds.

On that last post. I think a lot of people have gone and manic-pixie-dream-girl'd Eris beyond recognition, and that some of shippers (not all, ofc) have spent so much time with their own headcanons & fanfic that they've forgotten how their real dynamic is. It's easy to project a relationship onto them if you're already looking for one. People see them bicker and go "aw, they're arguing like an old married couple!" when, no. They're just arguing.

Drifter definitely flirts with her, but she doesn't reciprocate and I don't even think that it's necessarily serious. That man would flirt with a wall if he thought it would be funny. He seems like the type to tease people that way regardless of gender or attraction to them.

I don't deny that there's something between them. knowing the lore as I do I think it's safe to say that they're somewhat close, whatever that can even mean for either of them, but for fucks sake close isn't always romantic. Are they friends? Maybe. Can either of them have friends at their level of stability? I genuinely don't know. I don't think that we've been given enough to go off of, honestly. I don't like the idea that they're going to magically have their trauma cured by dating each other. She doesn't need him to "file down her teeth", and I don't think that he would. He definitely seems to benefit from her input, though. I don't feel like their relationship is very balanced in that. There's plenty of lore to back up him getting and using advice from her, and it being helpful to him, but I haven't seen much the other way around. He's immature in a way that she isn't, and people seem to think she's going to settle for that.

I don't care who people ship or what their headcanons are, that's all their own business. If I don't like it, it's not like I'm going off on their blogs in the space they've made themselves about why I don't agree with them. I prefer to just back off a bit, let them have their space and I'll have mine. But I don't always see that respect going both ways, and it starts to really bother me when people try to project their headcanons onto other blogs and onto the developers. Almost anything I see of them independently, it seems someone has to show up with "but where's [the other one]", and I've seen shippers go after multiple people for asking that their fanart of the two isn't tagged as ship art. It's just overstepping at that point.

Of course, I don't like lumping a bunch of people under the single label of drifteris shippers and calling them all a problem, I'm well aware that it's probably a loud minority silent majority type situation and I'm not going to assume someone's like that just because that's their content. But a lot (that I've seen) are.

On the misogyny part, I've definitely seen it in some. I'm a guy, so I'm probably not going to have the world's best explanation of why, but what gets to me is mostly the over-romanticism of Eris as his quirky goth gf. It's dumb and often comes off as objectifying. Sometimes it's like people think she's some edgy egirl twitch streamer. I find it strange how much fanart of her changes her appearance too, given we can barely actually see her. And sometimes it winds up painting Drifter as this douchy dudebro that he just isn't. One of the best things about his character to me is that he has his attitude without the shit treatment of women that comes along with it with most similar characters in games. I don't understand the need to turn around and twist him into someone that pushes her boundaries, which is pretty necessary to read their arguments as flirting.

I don't know what else to say, it's late and I'm tired and I'll probably feel stupid for letting myself get wrapped up in fandom discourse but I might as well say it while the conversation is happening.

(adding in case you do post this) v

No shade to shippers that don't fit the description I've put here. If you're reading this and go "Hey! I don't do that!" then obviously I don't mean you. You're all just doing what makes you happy and, hey, go for it. Tumblr is a great place for that. It's only an issue (imo) when that crosses the line into expecting everyone else to have the same headcanons or ignore what is canon. Go make art and fanfic and whatever you want, there's plenty of people who will appreciate it. I'm glad the positive side of the ship fanbase helps boost both of their stories, I hope it winds up driving Bungie to put more content in of them, together or apart.

Thank you for the thoughtful message Anon. Honestly I cosign all of this and wish I could respond to each of your points, but will at least try to cover a few of the ones that hit most with me.

Replies under the cut, since this is a long one ...

I think a lot of people have gone and manic-pixie-dream-girl’d Eris beyond recognition

I've thought about this for awhile. Eris is frequently written as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl insofar as being the offbeat catalyst for a jaded man's journey to a better version of himself.

He seems like the type to tease people that way regardless of gender or attraction to them.

Whether you ship them or not, it's odd seeing Drifter's canon characterization as a recklessly charismatic flirt lost in fanon. That special significance is placed on his flirtation with Eris, and not with the Guardian, Orin, Efrideet, or Rahool, or the others I'm probably forgetting.

Of course, the Guardian is a blank slate the player can project motives onto, and the others are characters whose interactions with Drifter are limited to lore. His & Eris' interactions stand out. That still doesn't mean it's inherently romantic; I've platonically flirted, held hands, snuggled, danced, bed-shared, and other things fans would dedicate thousands of words of shipfic to were I a fictional character.

Though reading it as such is fine (and I'll concede, probably lines up with the authors' intent, since we know some of them are shippers), nothing in the lore is explicitly romantic. Note, authorial intent, word-of-god and canon are all separate things, as much as fandom conflates them.

An aside, it's interesting how fanon surrounding Drifter paints him as socially anxious, touch starved, romantically awkward ... until he meets Eris. While I understand the utility in shipping — to emphasize the One True Love aspect since serial monogamy, much less polyamory, is unknown to most, especially F/M, shippers — it also comes off as "did not read the lore" at best, and "perpetuating negative stereotypes about Asian men" at worst.

Can either of them have friends at their level of stability? I genuinely don’t know.

This is why Eris' and Drifter's dynamic peaked in Arrivals & Beyond Light. The tenuousness of their alliance, the acceptance and rejection of each other's flaws, the trust between them that wasn't earned but necessary to survive. It was fun, tense and compelling and I wish more of the fandom focused on this era of their relationship.

I don’t like the idea that they’re going to magically have their trauma cured by dating each other.

Cosigned. The idea that love can mend any wound, heal any trauma, or fix any flaw is textbook amatonormativity, and has unfortunate implications when applied to Eris' story. I shouldn't have to detail why "woman overcomes trauma with the affection of a man" leaves a bad taste in my and many other fans' mouths, especially when it's favored over her longer-standing relationships with other characters. Why is her bond with Ikora ignored? Zavala? Asher? Mara? Why is so much of her growth pinned on one man, when there are other, deeper relationships that have existed since practically the beginning of Destiny's narrative? Why is there so little shipping surrounding Eris and these other characters?

Almost anything I see of them independently, it seems someone has to show up with “but where’s [the other one]”, and I’ve seen shippers go after multiple people for asking that their fanart of the two isn’t tagged as ship art.

I don't typically engage with popular Destiny ships, but I draw Mara Sov frequently. By herself, and, frequently, in non-Marasjur pairings. Not once have I gotten a "Where's Sjur?" comment, or even a "Where's Shaxx?" for that matter, as pushy as the "helmet stayed on" bros are. Meanwhile, I expect these comments when posting Eris art, particularly Eris F/F. I've had this happen in art I've drawn of her and Drifter with a disclaimer that the art is platonic/not to tag as ship! At that point it's not misunderstanding, it's entitlement.

I don’t like lumping a bunch of people under the single label of drifteris shippers and calling them all a problem

Agreed. I'm technically an Eris/Drifter shipper in the sense of consuming and producing art & fic for them, though I've pulled back from interacting with that part of the fandom because [waves hands generally]. I have no issues with drifteris as a ship, nor enmity drifteris shippers as a whole, but the individuals who engage in rude behavior.

what gets to me is mostly the over-romanticism of Eris as his quirky goth gf.

I'm going to repost what @/unsaelig said, since it's a salient point:

"I have no actual way of proving this, but given how much it’s been a staple, for the past 9 years, to speak of Eris as an unpleasant, unstable, worrying, suspicious individual, and given how much people like to fixate on how Eris & Drifter’s dynamic “softens” her and makes her more palatable and conventional, I do strongly feel Drifter is probably brought up with her as a “package deal” so often because in their eyes he “defangs” her & makes her much easier to take."

I do think there's a popular fandom read on Drifter as a funny, quirky guy who's a little out-of-pocket, an edgier fandomified-and-flanderized Cayde-6, if you will, and that Eris has to naturally follow by being an inoffensively gothy dommy mommy. It's perplexing, it's objectifying, and it makes me wonder what people are actually shipping them for if they sand down their characterization so much.

I don’t understand the need to turn around and twist him into someone that pushes her boundaries, which is pretty necessary to read their arguments as flirting.

The misogyny - amatonormativity combo again. Before anyone comes for me because I like enemies-to-lovers: sword-fighting your beloved to the death over a pit of lava isn't normalized, but saying that boys who bully girls are "just flirting" is. "I hate my wife", "I wish my husband was dead" and "ol' ball and chain" 'jokes' are. The patriarchy instructs men to disrespect women, and tells women to be flattered by the disrespect of men because at least you're receiving a man's attention. It's neither cute nor funny, and I equally dislike it when empoweringly reversed so that the man is the target of the insult.

No shade to shippers that don't fit the description I've put here. If you're reading this and go "Hey! I don't do that!" then obviously I don't mean you.

Cosigned completely. I know I have reputation as an arch-hater, but I have nothing but respect for people who are shipping them in ways that don't play into tired stereotypes of M/F relationships. (Or misogyny, or racism, or...)

Sometimes I wonder if I should try to put more good Eris/Drifter out there, but most of the time I fear I would only be stemming the tide; I am just one person with limited resources, and there is so much out there that my work will go unnoticed and my time is better spent boosting small ships that need the help.

Mostly I wish there was more focus on Eris and Drifter as individuals, in the game and in the fandom, further exploration of their bonds with other characters, and an environment where a wider range of gen and ship fic/art could flourish.

[baby-xemnas]

I'm not really a shipper, but that leaves me freedom for enjoying everyone's take/artwork on any ship. That said, I've actually never heard of LawBepo before seeing your stuff?? It's actually quite adorable? At least, what I see since it's only your stuff I see lol either way, I wanted to ask WHY Bepo? Like what drew you too the ship I guess?

Always curious how people get to ships they like haha. That and every time I practice Bepo I think of your Bepo so I figured I'd ask finally while I think of your art 😂 hope you don't mind.

Which that thing said, I need to throw in I'm positively alive for your art btw. It's so crisp and I love for the sketchy/black and white. Thank you for gracing my eyes with it.

thank you for the message!

(you never seen it because except for like a couple of artworks noone really done it at the scale that i have. at least not in the western part of the fandom)

what drew me to the ship is the hug on zou but back when i first got into op 8+ years ago but i wasnt open minded enough to take it seriously - it didnt spark ideas to make stuff in me back then yet - but i did love the hug A LOT

its adorable. its just the cutest ever and the single most affectionate that we see law. you cant argue with that if i try. idc how people interpret his other scenes, zou hug is the most obviously and openly shameless display of affection towards someone we see with law

look at this fucker smiling hes so content rubbing cheeks with his 22 year old male best friend

i came back FOR bepo because i heard of [manga spoilers] i saw it and thought yoo shit hype started looking things up and saw the STOP ACTING CUTE scene and it was all over. one more canon reason for me to ship them (that is ofc if u consider anime filler canon since both the scene i mentioned were toei expanding and improving upon odas ideas) but i do consider them canon if it suits me lol

AND THEN I SAW FILM RED CRUMBS OH MY GOD. OH YOU TOOK HIM TO THE CONCERT UNBELIEVABLE YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH

basically we were given a ton of cute fanservice of bepo being law's favorite most precious guy and i always ship my ships in accordance to canon its just the type of person that i am

you need to give me a crumb of canon and ill justify the rest. a hook is always necessary and these two got plenty

also reading the novel and seeing bepo be such a precious little brother to law....yeah...cute

oh we cant forget that i also went to look at things on pixiv and japanese fans are geniuses so i got so inspired by the characterization of law being a protective nose bleeding weirdo and bepo being oblivious to it....incredible dynamic i got absolutely hooked. bepo is cute and good and precious and he is home and comfort to law

to summarize: why bepo? because canonically bepo is the only person in bepo's position. he gets special treatment from law, he is THE crewmember of his. he is what killer is do kid - we know most about them they are the closest to the captain. its simple math

finally thank you im glad you enjoy my style!!!!

[iwriteasfotini]

I am striving to make my series as canon compliant as possible. This story is my HC, so it will work to a degree. However there are things which I straight up do not agree with from the original books. And the one I am always the most hung up on is the Marauders leaving the Shrieking Shack during full moons.

Now, I've gone to extensive lengths to shape my story to support this decision. And I really like how everything came together. But when Remus essentially says in POA that there were many near misses and they laughed about them afterwards. Just no. I have no idea what the author was thinking in her characterization with that line. I get not everyone sees James and Sirius as well intentioned, she certainly portrayed them in TWO scenes as being a bit teenagery (heaven forbid!). But REMUS? Come on. Remus as an adult is thoughtful and caring, for the most part. I have a hard time seeing teenage Remus going along with risking lives, risking his place at Hogwarts, just so James and Sirius can... what exactly? James, Sirius, and Peter could have gone off on their own nighttime adventures any old night. Why drag a werewolf into the dynamic?

And I don't see how these full moon adventures (or them being animagi) had anything to do with the Marauder's Map. So I took that in a totally different, much more realistic to me, direction.

So much is said in that single scene in POA in the Shrieking Shack. And I hope I get to dig into why some of why it was said. But if I get to that point in the timeline, I cannot promise verbatim dialogue for that scene. It is too cringeworthy.

I think canon is particularly confusing where James' characterization is concerned. We at least see adult Sirius, who certainly isn't the epitome of highly functional, but he's there in the flesh. According to canon, James is an extremely smart troublemaker who likes to goof off, bully's Severus to no end (I'm sure it was TOTALLY one sided), is very well liked by the student population, and has a massive crush on Lily. And Lily hates him for six years, then they reconcile and get married? I mean, if you are ok with Harry's dad being an arse, then it's all there. But I don't like that line. And I think there is plenty there to support a very different story.

So back to the rant about the Marauders leaving the Shack... it feels WAY more complicated to me than a bunch of very thoughtless teenagers saying "we don't give a fuck, we do what we want." I will never argue that the Marauders were upstanding citizens. And for people who can only see them as dogmatic canon presents them, I have no defense against my own HC. If you choose to see Harry's family as bunch of narcissistic arseholes (who all end up giving their lives to fight a narcissistic arsehole), and Lily as some kind of saint for putting up with them, that's your business. But DO NOT READ MY STORY, for you will hate it!!! All I can say is canon leaves me with lots of doubt and questions. Questions I want the answers to and doubts I want clarified.

Anyways, I had to get all that off my chest and now I'm going back to writing. :)

[ybyag-lil]

I just... LOVE Sunshrine as a ship and have my delusions and HC's about it and I needed to put these thoughts out on WHY I like them so much somewhere other than in my fics or else I'm literally going to explode, so—

Annoyed x Annoyance. Need I say more?

I will.

If we're talking purely potential ship dynamics, we have:

Flirty x oblivious, Denial/Dense, Sunshine x Sunshine protector, stoic vs pain in the ass, optimist vs pessimist, "why me?" "why not you?", Insecure vs showers them in love.

Sun and Moon/Day and Night yadda yadda y'know the drill

Complementary colors (orange/blue) that you can correlate with their difference in personality.

But I hate reducing them to basic opposites attract and other dynamics bec they're NOT completely opposite - they actually have a lot in common!

"Two sides of the same coin" is how I'd actually describe them.

They're both trying to find their own way in life, and the paths they're taking are so fundamentally different than what has come before them.

Their voice-lines about it. Love to read into those

("I'll walk a different path this time." "I'll find my own path." "The path shapes you." "That's the path you've found?")

Potential for shared isolation issues and fear of abandonment!!!!

I feel like Kiriko's life suddenly shifting one day when Sojiro was killed and her proceeding to lose a bunch of people she held near and dear (not even counting Kanezaka itself facing major power and societal shifts) is not talked about enough. The only real personal connections she knows she has left are:

Her mom, who is forced into inaction and can't move to help liberate Kanezaka or save-

Her dad, who is currently Hashimoto's leverage/hostage and she doesn't even know for sure is still alive rn bc she hasn't seen him.

and Hanzo, which, there's a load of angst there HC and actually in-game wise for her connection with both him and Genji that would be a while 'nother conversation. I don't know if Kiriko even knows Genji's still alive, actually? More issues!

Illari's pretty self explanatory with that isolation/abandonment point. That girl's riding the, "I don't need anyone else (because I'll only end up hurting them)" train so hard. So much so that she doesn't even really feel comfortable showing any positive emotions to people around her (cheer/hello/chuckle animations anyone?).

Kiriko/Illari are both "chosen".

That one's kinda out there tbh, but my logic behind it is that Illari is already notably special. She's prodigy that was quickly predicted to be the GREATEST fucking Inti warrior of her time, whose power was so great that she turned every single other Inti warrior to ashes unintentionally.

(which, by the way, is insane if we assume the augmentations have to give you some sort of resistance to solar power to be able to wield it in the first place?)

Kiriko is where I start playing fast and loose. I'd argue her having the power of the Kitsune (which is not fucking science idc what lore comes in the future, magic exists in this fucking universe!) to such an extent makes her chosen in her own way. Like I'm assuming the teleporting around, the self healing like, and everything else is not a standard affair but no-one talks about the Shimada FAMILY being able to summon dragons so. Maybe that's just the standard in Japan.

On that note — they also both have a responsibility to their people which sort of parallel each other.

Kiriko has happily taken up the mantle of a vigilante to protect the people of Kanezaka, and, as far as we know, she has no qualms about doing it. Her way of doing things is different to how her family served/protected for generations in the past, but she still upholds the duty like it's second nature.

Pure conjecture, but I don't think Kiriko's ever felt forced to do it either. There was never a, "you must protect the town!" talk or anything like that from her grandmother/mom, she's doing it because it feels right to do.

Illari, conversely was always told she had a responsibility to her people. If you read between the lines of her lore blurb on her OW2 page and listen to what she says in her origin video, you get the sense that it was a sort of... burden? Heavy is the head that wears the crown and all that.

I compare it to the "gifted-kid burnout" precisely because of this. Illari has always been molded to follow one path, a rigorous one she didn't really have a choice BUT to follow. You're told at a young age that you are special, that there's no-one else like you, that you will grow to become a legend. How could you even begin to refuse that?

You don't. And when it all starts to fall apart, you start to wonder what's wrong with yourself. Illari has lived a life dedicated to serving, and now there's no-one left but her.

She def has some self worth/esteem issues stemming from having to be this prodigal kid essentially groomed (not that way) her whole childhood to be strong and nothing else. Couple that with an overwhelming feeling of regret for failing to uphold her duty as a protector and you have someone who is just completely lost - direction AND sense of self wise.

And I think Kiriko could help with that. Say what you want about her, but you can't deny that Kiri is strong. Imagine Illari meeting her and realizing that for herself. That despite how careless and foolish Illari thinks Kiriko is, she somehow still manages to protect her people as her duty.

Imagine her realizing that she's been taught a lie her whole life, that she doesn't have to just be Illari, the strongest Inti warrior, she can also just be Illari - the scared 18yr old trying to find a new purpose in life after that choice was stolen from her.

Like Zen says to her, "true strength comes to those who accept their weaknesses". Illari's gotta learn that she can't just be strong, she has to learn to balance these aspects of herself.

and who has played a balancing act between conflicting ideals before? Who has carved her own path out of what she's known? Kiriko.

Ahem, back to a few more hehe haha shipping things

They're both pretty capable as fighters, and both trained since they were kids. They're both probably very disciplined because of it.

(I was going to say "though Kiriko is reckless despite that" but I refuse to believe Illari isn't equally as reckless.)

They're both very petty, check out those revenge voice lines—

("Forgive and forget? Nah..." and, "Forgiveness? Never heard of it." Are two examples LOL)

They're both smart assess. Kiriko is Kiriko so that one's obvious, and I'm looking at your Hanzo/Soldier/Sombra/Ana start up interactions, AND your sassy ass "I didn't do it for you," ally save voice line, Illari.

THEY'RE LITERALLY SPRING - SUN ILLARI, BREEZE/WHATEVER TF ELSE KIRIKO

And the two most important things....

They're just cute. Like seriously look at these little idiots, I love them both dearly.

And it's kind of a funny ship. I'm a firm believer that you don't need a reason to ship two characters, and Kiriko and Illari liking each other can lead into some hilarious ass dynamics, so why not?

Anyways, finished with my brainrot spew. If you've made it this far, check out my AO3 where I will be brainrotting even further in the future. Might post some dumb shitposts here about these two from time to time.

Illari and Kiriko's voice line pages for the things I quote.

(some of this, particularly parts regarding Kiriko, might be incorrect bec I haven't read a single lore comic and am going of things I can vaguely remember hearing about.)

[tmnt-tychou]

Hello again!!

I have another character for you!! How about Splinter?? 😄

Thanks as always!! 😊

Sorry this took me a while to get to, it's been a busy week. But I am LOVING these and thank you to everyone who submitted asks. This is the most asks I've ever received and I have greatly enjoyed this. A Tier: 90's movie Splinter: This is a rat Splinter. He is a good dad and tries his best. This man loves his sons. Also, easily the most frail of all the Splinters, but still manages to toss Shredder off a building.

2003: Another rat Splinter. This man loves his sons and also loves his father, Hamato Yoshi. He is wise, caring, and very invested in in his sons' lives.

2012: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I love this Splinter so much. I think he is my favorite thing to come out of 2012. This man is Dad Vibes so much! He loves his kids and he wants them to have the best lives he can provide. I also love that we got this massive more human-sized Splinter. Just love him all around.

B Tier: 80's cartoon Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter, he has a great design and amazing voice actor. He is calm, he is zen and fatherly. He looses points because he never calls the turtles his sons. They are always "My turtles/pupils/students." The very first time I heard Splinter call the boys his sons was in the 90's movie and it blew my little mind. (Note, I'm not sure if maybe they changed it in the last seasons where they were trying to be more like the live action movies. It's been so long, I don't remember.)

2007 Splinter: I THINK this is a Hamato Yoshi Splinter? This is a hard one for me because everything in the movie is good. I love his design, I love his VA, I love his lines and how he interacts with the turtles. But there was just something OFF about the whole of the 2007 movie and I figured it out by reading the comics that take place before the movie. In which Splinter picks Leonardo ONLY to go on this world tour for vague reasons while the others are stuck at home. Raphael is immediately hurt and angry at the blatant favoritism. Don and Mikey look like they are so used to it, they don't even argue anymore. Leo is so much the golden child in this movie it hurts me in my soul. Splinter is a terrible father, but he was fine on screen if you take the movie at face value.

C Tier: Next Mutation Splinter: I don't recall if it was ever clear if he was a ran or Hamato Yoshi. He knew Venus' dad, so maybe Hamato Yoshi? He gives off these prancy, gay dad vibes which are kind of fun and fresh for a Splinter. (He plays chess out in the park late at night with his blind boyfriend.) He doesn't do too much to parent his extremely dumbass kids. Maybe since they're 18 he's decided they are their own problem now. And while the turtle suits are pretty nice for a TV production, the rat suit is BAAAAD.

Bayverse Splinter: This one makes no sense. Any Splinter that takes out Hamato Yoshi completely really throws off the universe. Why is he so Asian coded when he has no Asian influence in his life aside from finding a book on martial arts? It's weird. Other than that, he's fine in the movies.

Rise Splinter: A Hamato Yoshi Splinter. I like that we got a Splinter where you can really see the depression from being turned into a rat. And you can see how the turtles turned out to be different people: Leo and Raph especially, without Splinter there to be an influence on the group dynamic. But the characterization doesn't make sense. He says he loves his boys, but he doesn't always know their names? I know this was played for laughs, but the characterization wasn't there. Also minus points for the god-awful character design. Again, I know dad-bod Splinter was played for laughs, but...we had to look at it.

Mutant Mayhem Splinter: Again, another Splinter without Hamato Yoshi that makes no sense. However, he is a GOOD dad who loves his sons and does his best to keep his family together. I love this idea that he is a shut in because he is actually scared of the surface. I do have a hard time buying he is a martial arts master from merely watching kung fu movies. And also minus points for the god-awful character design.

[shadycomputerpolice]

My advice to separatists

The woman in the above video used to be in an abusive marriage and escaped. In this video, she explains that abuse victims only leave when they themselves are ready. So straight from the horse's mouth, most efforts to get abused women get out those situations are futile.

The dynamics between men and women as a class mirror the dynamics of an abusive relationship. Just like how abuse victims leave only when they are ready to leave, women will only leave men as a class alone only when they are ready.

This is why on this blog, for as long as I can remember, I have always discouraged seperatists from trying to convince women to give up men because just like most abuse victims, they completely ignore you or they make you the villian: evil lesbian (eventhough straight seperatists exist) that is trying to steal them away from their prince charming for your own sexual benefit.

Leave these women alone, offline and online. They are not ready and to be honest, most of them will never be. Stop going on their posts to debate them, matter of fact I suggest you block the ones who are lying about the epidemic of seperatists bullying OSA women (again denying the existence of straight seperatists to create a narrative). I understand the human instinct to clear your reputation but this is Tumblr. It is important to remember that the "loss of good reputation" on here absolutely has no impact on the quality of our lives. Yes, in the short term, you will be upset but you will quickly get over it because it has no impact on your long term life.

Just like offline you can tell when an abuse victim is ready to actually leave and just needs guidance and some resources, you can also do that online. While it is definitely harder to read people's behaviours online, it is not possible. For those of you who still take Tumblr activism seriously, you can guide genuinely interested women to valuable resources.

FYI, We need to STOP assuming that just because a person is in radfem spaces, that they are smart or have critical thinking skills. Most people come to radfem spaces because of the anti-transactivism and sometimes anti-porn positions. Contrary to what transactivism would have you believe, one doesn't need to have a pHD in human biology to differentiate between human males and females. That is actually common sense that has existed for a centuries or even millenia. Just because someone knows men cannot become women doesn't make an intellectual. That is like saying a person brushing their teeth makes them an intellectual because some people don't brush their teeth. Furthermore, phD holders can know a lot in their subject area and be clueless in others [A person can be absolutely smart in one area and completely dumb in another].

Many of people on here are actually not smart and you can tell by the dumb shit they confidently say. You shouldn't waste your time arguing with dumb people, offline or online.

[flowerslut]

I don't know about you but I've always hated the trope of vampires being addicted to blood like it was drugs. That's like saying that a human can be addicted to regular water if they drink too much so they have to filter it or something to change it. I don't know, I just don't understand why they would be 'addicted' to the very thing they need to survive? It makes me think of the quote from Mad Max; Fury Road "Do not, my friends, become addicted to water. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!" In saying that, I do find it very funny that Jasper can be addicted to certain emotions, like how he was following Bella around the house and reluctantly leaving rooms she was in when she came to visit because he was getting 'high' off her good mood and Edward was so bemused to see him in that state because he's typically sounded by moody bitches who always argue and complain so he's not used to someone (other than Alice but I think he's used to her now, whereas Bella would be a bit like a slap in the face I think) being so genuinely happy that he follows her around like pepe lepew and skunk stink. I read a fic once about Jasper/Alice and Emmett/Rosalie going to college and meeting there and joining frats and they were around a bunch of drunk college kids and Jasper was ALSO starting to act a little drunk and loose and silly because SO MANY DRUNK KIDS all in the same space together was starting to affect him too. I don't know. I've just been thinking about it

I've never really thought twice about the whole "blood thirst as an allegory for addiction/human vices" because that's always been tied together really well with most vampire stories. I sort of expect that measure of symbolism from vampire media now, and tbh you'd really have to do some heavy, intense worldbuilding to make a vampire universe where bloodlust isn't akin to sex or addiction or some sort of taboo in order to make it still have the correct ~vibes~ (not that it's impossible, but I think the struggle to having to resist, or not resist, is honestly part of the lure for some people.)

and I know what you're trying to do with the "humans can't be addicted to water" thing but if water could only be obtained through killing other people (which, ahem, *gestures to history books*) then people sure would be snapping necks to get it, aaand that makes for an interesting story! I think it (obsession with blood being used as an allegory for drug addiction) can lead to some really interesting story dynamics and plot conflict!!

"I just don't understand why they would be 'addicted' to the very thing they need to survive?" because it's interesting! what do you do when you have to kill to survive, even if it goes against everything you've ever been taught? i love it. 10/10. bring on the pain game. I want to see the hoops people will jump through to moralize their choices!!!! its fun dude!!!!! 🤩

it is cute that jasper's drawn to happy emotions but the way that stephenie implements it makes me roll my eyes half of the time. especially when edward is like "wow bella, jasper loves being around because your emotions are soooo nice and pure and good and addicting because our love is so #Strong! 😌" like, yawwwwn. talk about an informed trait. sorry steph I will never care about edbella 😔 and also, like, reading twilight from bella's pov we... really don't get the proof of her being such a happy person. homegirl has self-esteem issues out the ass so color me skeptical that her emotions were really that alluring 🙄

but it does lead to fun opportunities for headcanons whenever people ask "so...alice just walked up to jasper and he just? went with it?" because if all it takes is a bitch with a good mood to have this war criminal trailing behind them then jasper never stood a chance at being an independent entity. he would've been simping for the first person who didn't feel revulsion toward him. I guess we should be happy it was alice that scooped him up and not someone less cool and hot and fun

but yes! i love the opportunity for jasper's gift to really mess with him and its SO fun to play around with it in fic!!!! breaking dawn doesn't have a lot that I love but if does have some fun "jasper having to feel some nonsense" moments

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

If you want, I hope you do elaborate on your thoughts on the Mclennon narrative. Personally, your posts on JP are always a joy to read

Okay, so some of the thoughts I was having yesterday: I sometimes feel like the way John and Paul's dynamic is being assessed, people are operating with… kind of a caricature of what men and (seemingly platonic) male relationships look like. I understand that both John and Paul expressed feeling "inhibited" by masculinity, but I think there's a lack of nuance with how those feelings are juxtaposed with their apparent comfort being near each other. A lot of the times pointed out as them being very close are posed pictures, for instance, when people generally stand closer together than they would normally. I also think the "no touchy" rules of toxic masculinity doesn't really apply to anything that's mostly a joke/a prank. It's sort of an extension of how young boys play-fight. That being said, many people around the Beatles noted how close they were to each other – but I still don't think that's unique exactly, it's a relatively common feature of groups that spend an inordinate amount of time together, working towards a joint goal (see: army buddies but also sports teams).

I also think we overblow how big of a deal it was to joke around about "being queer" (which doesn't mean there was no bigotry; people joke about taboo subjects all the time).

So like, one of my hottest takes is that sometimes when John and Paul appear to be flirting – that's a joke (sometimes specifically a parody of the teenaged mania surrounding them). To be clear: this observation doesn't preclude them perhaps saying some truths in jest to each other, but the way Ringo and George broached these topics wasn't all that dissimilar to them.

And I say all these things because I think it actually is relevant to understanding their relationship. If either of them felt attraction to the other, the fact that this flirting was part of their normal communication changes their motivation for engaging in it (ie. it wouldn't necessarily be a true overture). I actually do personally think John probably meant it some of the times he engaged in that type of behaviour, but I find thinking of it this way completely explains why Paul may not have fully understood what was going on, instead of painting him as a completely socially unaware idiot who refuses to hear the words John is saying.

The other thing is sometimes I feel like a certain quote presented to me as "McLennon evidence" is actually just proving that John and Paul were close and cared about each other… which I and most people outside some staunch Jean Jackets wouldn't argue with?

I feel like there's a lot of arguments by association, eg. this quote shows that Paul thinks about John a lot – and only someone who had a romantic past with John would think about him a lot! I just don't really see how these things connect directly.

[sanaxo-o]

spread some love !

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

I am only tagging the mutuals who I talk on a daily basis. I truly love, respect and look up to every single mutual of mine and I am really grateful to have them in my life because I don’t think I would have come this far without them :)

@o-onikix : Nara is literally my closest and dearest friend I could ask for. She literally knows everything about me, she is also someone who pays close attention to me and always remembers the littlest things I say. Like once we were talking and I mentioned about me liking butterscotch cake and a few days later when we were on call and I was eating a cake Nara went “Is that butterscotch cake?” Without even me having to tell her. It made me genuinely so happy because tbh she might be the only irl friend who pays so close attention to me and my well being. Not only that you will always see me running to her whenever I am in some kind of misery and she would always be there for me and listen to me. I still remember how I was there with Nara when we were talking about ghosts 😭. Poor baby was shaking 💀 but tbh…she’s cute like that haha. I love you so much Nara 🥺

@from-izzy : ironic how it’s about to be a year since I sent you that flirty text as our first conversation. Omg glad I got this ask now. So yesterday I had this huge argument and was upset but do you know what izz does? She call me to check on me to know if I am okay 🥺. Like that made me realise that I truly am surrounded by such lovable and caring people and that also especially someone like izzy knowing she was herself freaking out over her assignments yet she called me :( it made me want to cry (happy tears yall). And tbh even though me and izzy argue most of the time her silly stuff at the end of the day I always go to her knowing I cannot live a day without hearing her rant about uni. Mine and Izzy’s friendship cannot be described in one paragraph tbh 😭. Like we have way too many dynamics for that 😭. We can be flirting on one app, bickering on another and having a deep conversation on some whole another app. To sum it up, I trust izzy a loads and I always go to her when I have to talk about something :) love you 🥺

@winterchimez : my Als, mu Sabrina Carpenter enthusiasts, the one who bears my crazy ass 🥺. We literally bonded over Sabrina Carpenter and I love that for us. I always go to ally when I see something negative or just to talk about something I get stressed about and you know what fills my heart? She is always there for me. Despite everything she’s been going through, she still manages to have a talk with me and I admire her for that. Not only that she might be one of the strongest people out there for still doing what she’s doing despite the struggles. Me and ally are someone who would always be together (as she said, we’re Kyunyu) she’s also ig the third mutual I made on this app which is really important for me because it wasn’t easy for me at that time knowing my writing was always dark and it made me kind of reluctant on making friends, scared people might judge me but Ally just out here accepting me as her gremlin. (I will always send you Sangyeon stuff. Once you see this expect that Sangyeon video in your DMs mam). Love you despite all the stuff I pull up with hehe.

@strayed-quokka : me and Lenlen met just this year, in feb but we got insanely close so fast it’s crazy. If you are a moot of Lennon you can expect some adventures from her side which will always make you go “WHAT? HOW ARE YOU? EVERYTHING ALRIGHT??” Like no kidding. I used to also read her TBZ work (by that I mean that Sunwoo fic) before I became her moot and I still cannot accept the fact that we’re now moots 😭🥺. She has my heart and we’re married I believe. The one thing I always look forward to is “Good morning Sana” from lenlen which just makes me smile like a kid 🥺. Me and lenlen also have such chaotic moments together, she’s always up to something in the DMs tbh 😭. And when you see me and lenlen together expect some crazy flirtings from both sides haha cause it’s never gonna stop. I still admire how lenlen and @from-izzy were there for me when I was scared and hid myself in the washroom:( it made me feel so much more better and safer knowing they are there for me no matter what.

@mosviqu : despite me and Boo starting off on some..meh terms (it’s not my fault you thought I was bullying you 😐) we grew so close after that tbh 😭. Me and bar from talking about her Sunwoo fic to me making a doc of Eric fic which only she has the access to 🥺. The words are not enough, because there’s so much to talk about her, from her writing, to her sweet personality, to her chaotic energy which just explodes out of nowhere. She also never fails to amaze me with her choice of words sometimes…

@cloverdaisies : we haven’t talked talked lately because (fuck your job and uni. They’re taking you away from me 😭🥺) life happened but I look up to clo and her writing so much it’s unimaginable. I remember how I was fangirling about her to ally and ally going “oh she’s my mutual” and me not believing it until clo started following me which made me want to scream and die out of happiness + embarrassment because hello?? Your favourite author just followed you 😭. And now when it comes to clo…I don’t trust her (jk) but I love her. She is…she makes me question reality with what she says everytime 😐. But I will never forget how clo was there for me when I needed her the most. She was listening to me talk when I was scared and I was truly glad because there was someone who was there to listen to me.

@astrae4 : Gill is like my child who always gets herself in trouble 😐😭. We always simp, sob, cry and scream over the one and only Choi Chanhee but despite that she gives some of the great advices when you need it. And no I am not gonna play that restaurant game ever again child-

@quaissants : my gremlin, my pudding 🥰. I trouble her like…everyday which makes her want to kill me (enemies to lovers?-) but despite that she helps me a loads when it comes to writing 🥺. We mostly interact on the server but nowadays I talk with her in DMs too which I am grateful for <3

@itsbeeble : hmm…I love you but I won’t stop bullying you (I don’t even bully you. You just think I bully you and it’s just your mind playing games with you because it’s always filled with Eric and Sunwoo…) jk but because of her busy schedule we don’t get to talk much but whenever she comes back from her disappearance those days might be one of the best ones because I have fun with her and izzy. Hope you’re alright and healthy since you disappeared. Again.