#why do these new tracks sound like shit i’ve already heard

[ash-and-starlight]

i loveee musicians changing their style i loveee trying out new things i love versatility i love range i love the ever changing nature of music and creativity. except when they do things i don’t like. explode.

[thebearer]

where there's smoke |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: carmen's been busy at work, and you miss him. high stress mixed with heightened emotions leads to a fight.

contains: angst, a fight (they make up at the end dw). language, mean-ish carmen, mean-ish reader, alludes to smut very briefly at the end. minors dni 18+

“What time will you be home tonight?” You asked, knees pulled to your chest in the bed, watching Carmen slip on his shirt, bustling around your shared bedroom. 

“Uh, probably not until late tonight. Sorry, baby.” Carmen muttered, but he didn’t sound sorry. He sounded… distracted. He had been for a while, early mornings and long nights at the restaurant, busy building and perfecting the menu. You understood it, knew he had to do it, but, fuck, if you didn’t miss Carmen. It was lonely without him.

“Oh,” You didn’t mean to sound so small, so disappointed. 

Carmen turned, eyes flashing to you at the first sign of upset. “Why? Did we have plans?” He cringed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuck, ‘m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to say it like that. That was douchey. I just… My mind has been all over the place, baby, I just-” 

“-We didn’t have plans.” You said, looking down at the comforter. You’d brought it from your old apartment when you moved in, since Carmen’s was a thin quilt that barely covered him let alone the both of you. 

Carmen’s shoulders relaxed. “I just… I dunno. I was hoping I’d get to see you tonight.” You muttered. You knew you sounded clingy and desperate, and fuck you’d swore you’d never be that girl. Yet here you were. “I just miss you, Carmy.”

“I know.” Carmen nodded slowly. “I know, and I’m sorry, baby. I just really have to finish perfecting this menu.” 

“I know, Carmen, but you can’t take one night?” You asked, head tilting towards him. “I never see you anymore.” 

“You could come down for family.” Carmen countered, his voice had the faint twinge of an edge, cutting and a little exasperated. 

“Carmen,” You looked at him, unimpressed. “I meant while you’re not working. I just want to spend some time with you.” 

“Then come down to family and spend it with me.” Carmen huffed lightly. “I don’t know what else you want me to do.” 

“Are you- You’re not being serious.” You scoffed. “Don’t know what else to do-” Your voice raised, trilling to a dangerous octave that had Carmen’s eyes shutting. 

“Please.” Carmen held up a hand. “I-I don’t wanna do this with you right now, ok? I have a lot of shit going on-” 

“Oh, you always have a lot of shit going on.” You spat, rolling your eyes at him. “It’s always something, Carmen, I swear to God. If it isn’t the menu, then it’s installing something new, or-or it’s events, or something! God, it’s always something!” 

“Yeah, yeah, it is.” Carmen snapped, jaw flexing through the mirror to look at you. “That’s kinda the territory of owning a business, baby.” 

“That’s bullshit.” You snapped. “That’s bullshit and you know it is. A lot of people own businesses and they still make time for what matters.” The room was still after you said it, an eerie stillness that had Carmen uneasy, stomach twisting with nerves. 

When he didn’t reply, your heart stopped, plummeting into the pit of your stomach. “Am-Am I not important to you?” You croaked through a tight throat. 

“What? Fuck, no, no, you are. Don’t-Don’t even start that shit with me, ok? You fucking know you are.” You know I love you. It was unspoken, but you heard it, the sentiment easing your worries for a moment. 

“Then why don’t you act like it?” You snapped, lips pressed together. “Why don’t you want to spend time with me?” 

“I do.” Carmen grit, throwing his head back gently. “Look, can we talk tonight? I really have to go.” 

“Of course you do.” You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the hurt in your tone. Tossing the comforter off you, the soft blanket fell in front of Carmen, his eyes tracking your storm off to the bathroom. 

“Baby, c’mon, I didn’t mean it like-” 

“Just fucking go, Carmen!” You sneered. “I’ve already wasted enough of your time, clearly.” He didn’t miss the flash of hurt across your face, brief, before you slammed the door shut, shaking the house.

Carmen didn’t want to leave you, he hated when you fought, always leaving him feeling guilty and sick and anxious. He was already reaching for his spirits with shaky hands, feeling his phone buzz- Sydney or Richie or Tina or someone calling asking him where he was. 

Running a shaking hand through his hair, Carmen grabbed his keys, stopping hesitantly outside the door. He could hear the steady stream of the faucet hitting the porcelain of the sink from the other side. “I love you.” He muttered, and while he didn’t expect you to reply, it still hurt to not hear it back.

“Oh, this is your new place, Chef?” Marcus grinned, following Carmen into the apartment, the smell of whatever candle you had burning enveloping his senses. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s, uh, it’s our place.” Carmen nodded, placing his keys in the small, green trinket bowl. Carmen laughed lightly, nodding towards it. “She did most of the decorating, as you can tell.” 

“It looks nice though.” Sydney chimed, clutching the bottle of wine behind Marcus. “Very cozy and homey and… aesthetic.” 

“Aesthetic?” Richie snorted, brow raised. “The fuck does that even mean?” 

“It means I had a plan going into decorating.” You appeared from the hallway, a basket of laundry on your hip. “I didn’t just tack up the Hooters’ girl calendar on the wall and call it decor.” 

Richie rolled his eyes at you, shutting the door behind him. “Whatever. I had a picture too.” 

You scoffed, setting the basket down in the hallway. Carmen grimaced slightly. “Hi, baby.” He greeted, lips brushing over your cheek. “I, uh, we’re gonna try a new dish.” 

“Oh?” You quipped, brow raised challengingly. “In my kitchen I just cleaned.” Carmen flinched, eyes cutting in a warning at you. “Why didn’t you do it at the restaurant?” 

“We didn’t have everything we needed.” Carmen replied, a flick in his tone that he hoped you caught on to. One that warned you to settle down. He wasn’t looking for a fight or any ounce of the attitude you’d had lately. 

“Hm,” You hummed, lips pursed. “Wish you would’ve told me before people came over.” You sneered behind a toothy smile that looked more like a threat than a convincing welcome. “I would have put on some actual clothes.” 

“Oh, c’mon, sweetheart. It’s just us.” Richie grinned. Even his goofy demeanor didn’t relax you, eyes cutting towards him in a chilling glare. 

“It was a last minute thing, baby, c’mon.” Carmen begged, eyes pleading with you softly. “Don’t do this right now.” He muttered, a soft huff of a request that had your blood boiling, itching with a blinding rage that could only be directed at him. 

“Don’t let me bother you.” You snapped, leaning down to snatch the basket back on your hip, eyes boring fiercely into Carmen’s blue ones. You stomped towards the bedroom, shutting the door so hard the walls shook. 

Carmen burned with embarrassment, sure his neck and cheeks were rising with flush. Richie whistled lowly. “Cousin, what did you do, huh?” He snickered. “She is pissed.” 

“She’s not pissed.” Carmen snapped, running a hand through his curls. “She’s just… fuck, I don’t know, alright? She’s on me about spendin’ time with her and-and… I don’t even fuckin’ know.” 

“I mean…” Sydney swayed awkwardly, sliding the bottle of wine on the counter. “That’s a valid thing to be mad about. Not spending time with her. That’s not, like, a crazy thing to be mad about.” 

“We live together.” Carmen sighed, exasperatedly. The same fight unfolding in front of him, just with a different person he was arguing his case to this time. “You know what- don’t answer that, alright? Just-Just… let’s make this dish, ok?” 

You could hear the low mummering outside your door, down the hall. You fisted the shirt- Carmen’s shirt- angrily, frowning at it like if you glared hard enough, it might just burst into flames. It didn’t, so you opted to throw it towards the side of his bed. You were a mad woman, possessed and furious, that anger only bristling more and more every time you could hear his voice, commanding and joking with his friends outside the door. Oh, it infuriated you. Now he was bringing work home, quite literally to your house. 

You couldn’t let your mind race like this, you wouldn’t. You knew if you let it stew, you’d be storming in there, screaming at Carmen and causing a scene in front of his friends. A version of you from the past would have, the same insecure and needy girl you were before you knew Carmen, when you were still chasing affection from a boy who rejected you for sport- who did it to hurt you purposefully. 

Instead, you took a breath, turning on the TV to some reality show that would keep you distracted. 

“Hey, baby,” Carmen’s soft voice followed the rasp on the door, pushing it open gently. The hallway light spilled in, his head following with soft eyes. “We have dinner ready if you want any. If you wanna be my taste tester.” There was a playful softness in his voice that made your heart lurch. Made you want to sob. 

“I’m not hungry.” You answered instead, jaw locking to keep the threat of tears from spilling out of your chest. 

Carmen’s face fell. “C’mon, don’t be like that.” He cooed, stepping into the room fully. He could see the way your lip wobbled when you spoke to him like that, sweet and coddling when you were so mad at him. “Come out here with me. Come try this, please? I wanna spend time with you, baby. Like you asked-” 

“-I meant alone time, Carmen.” You hissed, your voice a tad louder than it should have been. 

Carmen flinched, looking over his shoulder at the open door. He hoped your remark didn’t carry down the hall to the others. “I’ll send them home in a little bit. After we taste this, alright? Please?” 

You nearly caved. You wanted to. Wanted to let him sway you, put his hand on your hip and pull you into his side. Wanted him to cup his hand under your chin, fingertips barely brushing your jaw while he gave you that first test, blue eyes dazzling with excitement while he waited for your praise- you always gave him praise. 

But you couldn’t bring yourself to give in. Pride and your heart hurt, sensitive from feeling discarded, from the fights, from the frustration. You pressed your lips together, turning back to the TV. “I’m not hungry.” You snapped, cold. 

Carmen’s own face fell, heart sinking in his chest. “Ok.” He nodded. He watched you for a moment, the way you refused to look at him, sullen and pouty- so mean. Something flipped, a switch inside him that had his own jaw clenching. “Heard.” He bit, closing the door rather firmly, heavy steps down the hallway to the kitchen. 

“I came home to spend time with you-” 

“-No, you didn’t! You came home to fucking work!” You roared back. You and Carmen’s voices had been a building crescendo from the moment he came into the bedroom. His staff was gone, leaving just the two of you in the tension-filled apartment. 

“How is that not spending time with you?” Carmen’s voice boomed, reaching that final point in his tone- the point of no return. No chance of composure, no he was furious. Vein protruding, eyes bulging, kind of furious. “How?” 

“How?” You gawked back, a tight knuckled grip on the throw pillow. 

“Yeah, how? Tell me fuckin’ how that makes any sorta fuckin’ sense!” Carmen threw his arms out. “I would’ve stayed at the goddam restaurant-” 

“Maybe you should have.” You sneered, eyes narrowing at him. “You bring all those people here-”

“-Those people-” 

“-Yeah, Carmy, those people, and you say we’re spending time together.” You grit, teeth barred and angry. “I wanted to spend time with you. Just you.” 

Carmen’s jaw locked, running a hand down his face. “So you had to be so mean? So fuckin’ rude? That’s my family, my friends-” 

“And what am I?” You smacked the bed with an open palm, the echo a cutting silence between you two. Carmen froze, angry but still, watching you. Your jaw clenched, lips pressing together to keep your emotion in, furious and hurt. 

“I just wanted to spend time with you. You’ve been at the fucking restaurant all the time, and-and…” I miss you. What you didn’t say. 

Carmen’s arms crossed over his chest, jaw flexing. “Yeah, well, maybe I shoulda stayed there tonight.” 

The gasp that left you was soft, deflated with hurt. Your throat burned with the threat of tears, lip wobbling, nails digging into the cushion of the pillow still in your hands. “Get out!” You roared, pointing to the door. “Get the fuck out, Carmen! Fuck you!” 

“And go where, huh? This is my apartment too!” 

“Go back to your fucking restaurant! I don’t fucking care! Just go! I don’t want you anywhere fucking near me, you piece of shit!” Your chest heaved, nose running with the threat of tears that you tried to hold back. 

“I’m not goin’ anywhere this is my fuckin’ apartment, too!” Carmen roared, voice so loud it rattled the pictures on the bedside- framed photos of the two of you. 

“Fine.” You snapped, lips pressing together furiously. You snatched your pillow from your side, yanking your charger out of the wall, before turning and flinging the throw pillow at Carmen furiously. 

“The fuck are you-” 

“- I don’t want to be anywhere near you.” You snapped, tears leaking from the corner of your eyes that you tried to hide. “You want to be away from me? Fine. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight because I don’t want to even look at your fucking face right now.” 

Carmen watched in slow motion, the slamming of the bedroom door, which did shake the entire frame- your neighbors were going to be furious. The low creak of the couch, the one you’d bought when you moved in. You’d been so happy when you found it, a pretty little sectional from a discount store that you’d been positively giddy about. He and Richie and Marcus carried it up the two flights of stairs for you, and you’d squealed when he got it in the living room, arms thrown around him, peppering kisses into his cheek. 

God, Carmen would do anything to feel like that again. Instead of the piece of shit he felt like now, hands shaking with rage or nerves or everything. His stomach turned, lurching, mouth filling with spit that he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. Oh, he felt sick. Repulsed at himself, at what he said, how he said it- to you. 

“Fuck!” Carmen’s voice made you jump, echoed and angry from down the hall. 

You curled further into yourself, pulling the throw blanket over your mouth to try and muffle your own sobs. Keep the sounds of despair in your chest, away from him. Your own chest aching, burning with emotions and hurt. 

You weren’t sure when you’d dozed off, chest still hiccuping with shaky sobs post-cry. Carmen’s footsteps startled you, soft- well, as soft as he could be against the hardwood floors creaking under his weight. Your eyes fluttered open, burning and blurry when you rubbed them, making out his figure above you, blankets and pillows huddled in his hands. 

“What?” You snapped, voice groggy with sleep and tears but the malice was still there. 

“Can’t sleep.” Carmen grunted. He hadn’t been able to sleep, not in that bed, not without you. Not knowing that you were hurt and angry and alone down the hall. Not knowing it was his fault. He spent the majority of the night leaning over the toilet, sobbing and heaving, wracked with a painful guilt. 

“You’re not sleeping in here. I meant it, Carmen, I don’t want to be near you.” You sneered, hoping he couldn’t see your tear stained cheeks in the illuminated light of the moon. 

“’m sleepin’ on the floor.” Carmen muttered, walking on the other side of the coffee table away from you. He groaned, spreading the blanket on the ground, plopping his pillow on top of it with a muted thud. “Can’t fuckin’ sleep without you, y’know that.” It was a soft admission, one that had your heart warming lightly, dulling the ache. 

You didn’t say anything else, turning towards the cushions and away from him, hearing Carmen settle on the other side of the room. “I just wanna say one thing, and I’ll leave you alone. I know you’re mad at me, don’t blame you.” Carmen’s voice cut through the silence of the apartment. “But I’m sorry. I’m really fuckin’ sorry for-for it all.” His voice hitched, a crack that had your own chest swelling with tears again. 

“I shouldn’t have ever yelled like that, or-or said that.” Carmen pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, his chest from tightening even more. “And it’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you, or mean t’not. It’s just… I get so into things sometimes, and-and it’s like if I don’t finish it, I feel like everything is just wrong.” 

You didn’t reply. You weren’t sure what to even say. You knew Carmen was tightly wound, a perfectionist convinced that the slightest slip would leave his world crumbling. If he wasn’t ahead, he was wrong- it was how he was wired. 

“That’s not fair t’you and I know- I know that.” You could hear the staggered breathing in Carmen’s voice, his chest tightening and hands shaking. 

“Carmen,” You pushed up on your arms to look over the couch at him. 

“It’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry, and-and I’ll call Syd in the morning and tell her to cover the day-”

“Carmen.” Your voice cut his rambling off, his chest rising and falling sharply, you could see the silhouette of the night. “It’s ok.” 

Carmen laughed, humorless and watery, hands covering his face. “It’s not ok, it’s not fucking ok.” His breathing hitched, a strangled sob that had you wincing. “I-I’m a fucking dick.” 

“No,” You said easily, calmly. “I mean, yeah, you were earlier, but you’re not as, like, a whole a fucking dick.” 

Carmen sighed softly, lighter this time. “I shouldn’t’ve talked to you like that.” He admitted quietly, staring at the ceiling. “Shouldn’t’ve screamed at you either.” 

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have either.” You admitted, looking down at the floor. “I’m sorry for being mean.” 

“You don’t have to-” 

“-Yeah, I do, Carmy. I was wrong too. Both of us were.” You said firmly. He didn’t reply, simply swallowing around the growing lump in his throat. “And I’m really fucking sorry about that.”  

“It’s ok.” Carmen whispered, his head lolling over to the side to look at you. “I’m sorry for being a dick, and-and not spendin’ enough time with you, and all the other stuff.” 

“It’s ok.” You nodded, looking at him carefully, taking in his wet lashes, shaking hands. “Do you want to… Let’s go to bed.” 

“I’ll stay in here, and you can go in the-”

“-No, Carmen.” You shook your head. “Come to bed with me, please.” You asked gently, sweetly. A complete turn around from before, screaming yells that left your voice hoarse traded in for soft words. 

“Ok.” Carmen whispered, sitting up in the dark quiet of your living room. 

You helped him gather the comforter, dragging it down the hall and slinging it over the bed, the two of you sliding under it. Carmen’s hands on your waist, your back, grabbing at your leg pulling you closer and closer until you were flush against his skin, nose pressed into your scalp. Trembling hands, running down your back. Whispered apologies and soothing words under the sheets. 

Tomorrow, he’d spend the day with you. He’d take you to State Street, let you drag him through the aisles of a store aimlessly, holding your baskets and coffee while you shopped. He’d take you out somewhere nice, though you’d tell him you’d rather him just cook for you- it was always better. You’d hang the mirror in the living room together, and you’d thank him by riding him on the couch. 

But that would be tomorrow. For now, it was the two of you, under the sheets clinging to each other, trying to make it better. 

[angelicyouth]

Youth ; Chapter 1

⇢ pairing: kenny mccormick x marsh!reader x craig tucker

⇢ synopsis: ❝Growing up with the boys as the sole girl of the group, it was only natural for them to grow protective over their pseudo-little sister as the years went by.❞

⇢ [AO3 link] ; [series masterlist] ; [next]

“....-N…. Y/N..? Helloooo? Y/N!”

I jolt when I hear someone calling my name through the music I’m listening to. I take off my headphones and let it hang around the back of my neck, answering without looking away from the computer screen in front of me.

“My bad, what?” I question disinterestedly as the music continues to play faintly below my ears. The clicking of my mouse can finally be heard since I threw my headphones on for full immersion a while back.

“The guys are coming over, throw on some pants.”

I take my eyes away from the RPG that I’m currently playing and when I notice that my brother is wearing nothing but boxers and a graphic tee, I lazily lift an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He mocks as siblings typically do when he notices my condescending gaze and I roll my eyes at him, saving the progress I’ve made on my game.

“Clyde got that new video game we were talking about last week.” He continues to say as he lifts his body up from his laidback stance against my door frame, typing something on his cellphone. Probably the guys telling him that they’re on their way.

I hum a simple hmm in answer to him as I get up from my chair and stretch the kinks in my body after spending the past few hours sitting down.

"Oh yeah, do you know whose burrito is in the fridge?” My brother distractedly asks as I take my time walking to my closet to look for some shorts to throw on.

Similar to my brother, my current attire is just an oversized band tee and my underwear. On me, however, it reaches my mid-thighs. Dwarfing my body, I wear these types of shirts often to sleep as a makeshift pajama dress, meaning I forgo any bottoms since no one but my family sees me like this. Because of this, my brother and I wear each other's shirts, which is often the cause of our mom’s headaches when we fight over clothes.

“You know it’s mine.” I quickly glare at him as I pull the article of clothing out from its designated shelf.

I do this carefully so that I don’t disrupt the other pajama bottoms its in between because Lord knows that if I fuck up this area in my closet, I’ll carelessly handle my other clothing until the whole closet becomes a rat's nest.

It’s already messed up here so it shouldn’t matter if I do the same to everything else. I’ll clean it soon anyways… Not.

“Yep, I know. I already ate it.” He laughs, a shit eating grin on his face as he slams my bedroom door shut. The sound of his feet quickly hitting the floor can also be heard as he runs to wherever the fuck he decided to hide.

“STAN, YOU DICK!” I yell, pulling up my shorts in anger.

I grumble and pout to myself while I do a quick check in the mirror to make sure I’m presentable. I was looking forward to reheating my leftovers after getting in a good amount of progress on my game.

Why the hell do siblings touch shit that isn’t theirs? Ugh. And the audacity he has to directly ask me about it when he already ate it. If he's still hungry, I'll just give him a knuckle sandwich.

I throw myself onto my bed to check my phone since I went MIA for the past couple of hours that I was preoccupied with the gaming world. The date catches my attention and I grimace when I notice that tomorrow would be the first day of sophomore year. It’s easy to lose track of summer when this shitty town is covered in snow all year round. Hearing the front door slam open and multiple muffled voices overlapping, I bring myself downstairs to the living room and spot Clyde putting a disc into the gaming console in front of the television.

“Sup?” I call out to no one in particular with multiple variations of hey being thrown back at me.

I jump over the back of the couch and settle myself in between Kenny and Tweek, with Tolkien sitting to the right of the coffee addict. Kenny automatically pulls my legs up to settle over his lap, resting a hand on my calf as he fiddles with his phone with the unoccupied one.

“How the hell do you guys not have any cheesy poofs? What kind of household is this? I’ve been busting my balls for years waiting for this game to come out and when the day finally arrives, I can’t even enjoy it with the best snack ever?? I’d expect this from broke ass Kinny but not the Marsh’s!” Cartman complains as he follows the ever aloof Craig over to where the rest of us are lounging, stomping his feet from the kitchen to the dining room in a normal Cartman-like tantrum.

“Shut up, fatass! Stans ordering pizza so stop complaining before we put a limit to your slices!” Kyle threatens from the kitchen while Kenny and I roll our eyes.

“You’re welcome to leave.” I sarcastically mumble with my eyes still trained on Clyde setting everything up. He always looks really cute when he's concentrating.

“Oh shut up Y/N, this is your poorass pantry I’m talking about.” Cartman shoots back as he dramatically plops down on a seat at the dining table, his head down on the tabletop and his arms stretched out on either side next to Butters. I flash my middle finger at his pathetic display and see that Craig is sending him one too so I snicker when the black haired boy and I make eye contact.

“Instead of bitching, here's a suggestion. Why don’t you make your fat self useful for once and get some at the store then? You can even take it back to your house and just stay there for the rest of the night.” I snark back despite the sickeningly sweet tone of voice I adorn.

“Aye!” Fatass sits up and yells back at me before Kyle walks into the room, rolling his eyes.

“Dude. You can lay off the snacks for one night, can’t you? Cause you know, I’m pretty sure you have enough fat stored in your body to last you without any type of food for a few months and you’d still be alive.”

“Shut up, Craig!”

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Loud, but this is just a typical night in with the boys. The boys, meaning Team Stan, Team Craig, and of course, Butters. We all hang out together as one but like any other group, there are cliques within it. I guess they formed when we were younger and would play games that required opposing teams having to go against each other.

Having to split, these are the groups that always formed when we played stuff like catch or basketball, and why the guys in each respective teams are a bit closer to one another as opposed to the other team. They naturally formed because Stan, Kenny, Cartman, and Kyle live near each other whereas Craig, Tweek, Tolkien, Clyde, and Jimmy live closer to one another.

Of course, I’m usually in my brother's “team” and this works out for us because Butters typically likes to sit our games out and play moderator instead.

Speaking of. My brother, Stan, and I are actually twins. Because of this, our parents decided to separate us and have Stan and I go to different schools when we got into elementary. They wanted to encourage us to be independent individuals and to make our own friends, instead of being comfortable with sticking together after we went to preschool together. Yes, we met all the guys and became friends with them when I still attended the same place as my brother, but my parents were worried that I wasn’t spending enough time with other girls my age.

Even though I went to a separate elementary school and middle school than the others, I still grew up and spent all of my time with them when we were outside of school. Because of this, I’m still as close to everyone else as they are with each other.

This year, however, my parents finally decided that we were old enough to make the decision of whether or not my brother and I wanted to finally attend the same school. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity to go to school with my older brother and our friends. Well, okay. It was more like I insistently begged them and they finally caved in and gave me the green light to transfer.

Gathered around the television on either the floor or the couches and with pizza in our faces, Kyle silently curses as he checks his phone.

“My ma wants me home early since tomorrow is the first day of school.” He informs us, wincing when he remembers the start of a new school year.

“Ack! I completely forgot!” Tweek’s eyes widens and twitches as he clenches his shirt in first day jitters.

“Oh gee, me too! But that means we’ll finally be able to go to school with you, huh, little buddy?” Butters nudges me with his elbow and I smile into the can of soda I’m drinking from.

"Yessss! I can’t wait! I’ll finally be able to meet the other schoolkids at South Park!” I beam, throwing my arms around the blonde and hugging him in euphoria.

Growing up with the boys and being the only girl, everyone has naturally grown to be rather protective over me as they see me as their pseudo-little sister. This meant that they constantly whisked me away from others our age and would promptly pull me away if I ever did something as simple as wave to someone outside of the group. They called it taking me away from the lame-o’s, as Cartman constantly reminded me.

Of course, I knew the other people that my friends are cool with like Timmy, Scott Malkinson, and Dovahkiin. They tag along with us from time to time and it’s a refreshing change of pace when they do.

“I’m also excited about the commute! Finally, I get to catch some more sleep in the morning because mom or dad don’t have to drive me thirty minutes just to get to North Park!” Cue me dramatically fake sobbing into Butters shoulders as he consoles me by petting my hair.

“There, there, buddy. You won’t have to worry anymore!” I giggle as Craig pulls me away from the little cutie.

“Lameee, I already see your ugoo face enough. I don’t need to see it at school either.”

"Shut up, Cartman. How do you think we’ve felt seeing your fatass in and out of school for all of our lives? That’s a decade too much.” Kyle tiredly says.

“Aye!”

“Well, I’m excited to finally see my bestie at school!” Clyde throws his arms around my shoulders from behind me. We giggle to each other in excitement as I place my hands on his arms.

“I’m going to get so much second-hand embarrassment when I finally get to see you try to flirt with a girl, Clydey.”

“Y/N! You wound me! Did you forget that I’m the most handsomest, most charming, and most smoothest guy in school—no. In all of South Park!” Clyde boasts while I continue to laugh, consolingly patting his arms in pity for his delusions.

“Besides, I wouldn’t think to do that anymore now that I have my baby girl going to school with me!” He says as he puckers up his lips and exaggeratedly makes kissing sounds towards me.

I’m still laughing as I lightly block his face from me. Clyde is always so silly and more sensitive than the guys (ahem, a crybaby, ahem), making him my partner in crime in stupid antics like this.

“Dude.” Stan pinches the space between his eyes and furrows his brows at the obnoxious flirting. The boys and I play flirt all the time for fun, but mostly to annoy my brother.

“You’re like this now, Stan, but wait until tomorrow. In a small town like Shit Park, a new student will be the talk of the school.” Tolkien slyly smirks, trying to get into the ravenette’s overprotective head.

“Oh shit. Fuck, I forgot. You’re fresh meat.” My brother stares at me uncomfortably, his face going pale at the overwhelming thought.  

“Leave him alone, guys… Besides, my princess will have her trusty knight by her side.” Kenny gloats.

When we were younger, there was a fantasy game we liked to play, involving a “Stick of Truth” that we fought for. Kenny chose to be a princess at that time to cheekily spend more time with me, another princess in the game. The pet name stuck and has been something he’s fondly called me from then on.

“More like mangy dog. You’re just going to drop her as soon as you see someone else with legs and a pulse, McWhoremick.” Craig deadpans, setting Kenny off as he clenches his jaw in anger.

“Anyways!” I cut them off before it escalates, “I’m most excited to see the poor girls you guys have dated!” I teasingly smirk.

“No. No, no! Respect my authoritah, Y/N! I'm seriously! Don’t come anywhere near those stupid skanks, nothing good ever comes out of girls!”

Cartman always gets defensive when his ex or any of the girls that the boys know gets brought up. Probably because the guys still clown him for the voicemail they got ahold of when we were kids, crying and threatening to commit suicide if she didn’t get back together with him. They like to joke around and say that they’d use “dying pig Cartman” the way those rappers use voicemails in their hit songs.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

As I lay in bed after the guys go home, I restlessly toss and turn, repositioning myself in bed for hours into the night. I can never sleep due to both excitement and anxiety before the start of any school year. Deeming all my attempts futile, I pull out my phone from under my pillow and text the group chat to see if anyone else was in the same boat as me.

GROUP CHAT (EVERYONE)

N/N: yoooo

Toolshed (Stan): nooooo (barf emoji)

N/N: aye! fucking RUDE >:(

N/N: imma stuff you back into mom’s womb

HumanKite (Kyle): LOL gross dude.

theCoon (Cartman): not as gross as ur mom’s jew vagina

HumanKite (Kyle): Shut the fuck up, fatass.

theCoon (Cartman): you know, its ironic you call me that when you have a fat bitch mom!

SuperCraig (Craig): idk cartman, your mom’s must be gaping to have been able to push a fat baby like you out

Mysterion (Kenny): LMAOOO tru dat

Mysterion (Kenny): phat pussy

theCoon (Cartman): AYE! at least my mom didn’t willingly fuck a soulless ginger like urs craig!

SuperCraig (Craig): (middle finger emoji)

Tupperware (Tolkien): Your mom literally did, Cartman…

HumanKite (Kyle): Fucking dumbass.

theCoon (Cartman): details, DETAILS

theCoon (Cartman): his parents are still together so she still does!

HumanKite (Kyle): Yeah, but that just means your poor mom has to work hard to make enough money to feed herself and 10 other people because you eat enough for an army.

theCoon (Cartman): shut up you fucking JEW!!!

N/N: i can’t sleep :(

Toolshed (Stan): no one cares lol

N/N: shut up

N/N: you know how theres always a twin who's less attractive, even when they're identical?

N/N: that's you, stanley

N/N: ur just bitter cause im the cuter twin

Toolshed (Stan): ur literally ugoo but i admire ur confidence i guess

Tupperware (Tolkien): I never get why you always insult each other's looks, you're literally twins

ProfChaos (Butters): poor buddy

ProfChaos (Butters): want me to hop on my switch? we can play animal crossing together until you get sleepy :3

Mosquito (Clyde): oooo, i can’t sleep too so i’ll also visit ur island :D

theCoon (Cartman): laaaame

theCoon (Cartman): kick these pussies out of the chat ffs

theCoon (Cartman): lets hop on our PCs and start an online campaign instead

FastPass (Jimmy): hop on this dick instead :P

Mysterion (Kenny): AYO??

Mosquito (Clyde): LOL, NO HOMO BRO???

FastPass (Jimmy): nah bro, all the homos (sunglasses emoji)

Mysterion (Kenny): AYEEEE

Toolshed (Stan): LMAOOO

FastPass (Jimmy): lmao wait no i was just kidding (crying emoji)

theCoon (Cartman): you guys are fucking idiots.

N/N: ewwww, with cartman?? who can be that desperate, even as a joke jimmy? (barfing emoji)

Mysterion (Kenny): want me to swing by N/N? i know a few ways to make you tired (winking emoji) (smirk emoji) (devil emoji) (tongue emoji)

SuperCraig (Craig): (middle finger emoji)

Toolshed (Stan): DUDE.

WonderTweek (Tweek): Want me to oo br ing you coffee eee tomo rrow Y/N?? ??

Tweek’s twitching often has him typing like this. He doesn’t bother fixing his typos since it’s not hard to make out what he says, anyways.

N/N: my gate is open butters :3

N/N: idk clyde, you trampled on my flowers last time.. >:(

N/N: ily tweek!! <3

Mosquito (Clyde): Y/NNNNN!!! T—T

FastPass (Jimmy): he did it on purpose too, Y/N

FastPass (Jimmy): i saw him

FastPass (Jimmy): i kept telling him not to

FastPass (Jimmy): he laughed like a maniac and everything while he did it

FastPass (Jimmy): he also threatened to chop down your trees

Mosquito (Clyde): LIEEEEES

Mosquito (Clyde): DON’T LISTEN TO HIM Y/N

Mosquito (Clyde): people are always trying to take me down because im HANDSOME so SHUT. UP!!!

Mosquito (Clyde): jealousy is a disease, jimmy, and i hope you get better soon because it looks UGLY on you!!!

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

Despite sleeping late due to playing on my switch with Butters and Clyde, I wake up earlier than my alarm multiple times. Because of this, I decide to give up on going back to sleep when I notice that it's not that long until I should start getting ready anyways. I opt to pass the time on my phone instead, scrolling through social media like Coonstagram.

With my morning routine out of the way, I barge into my brother’s room without knocking to make sure he’s not still asleep so we’re not late to the bus stop… and also, to be annoying. After confirming that he is, in fact, awake when he throws a comic book at me, I go downstairs to eat some breakfast.

“I can’t believe you and Stan are already starting your second year of high school… Soon, you’ll be off to college like your sister and leave your father and I behind.” My mom laments as she places a plate of food in front of me.

“Don’t worry, mom. I’m pretty sure Stanley will still be living with you guys until he’s at least 35!” I smile sweetly at her while I spread butter onto my toast, as a muffled AYE! can be heard from upstairs. She tiredly sighs at us for getting onto each other's nerves so early in the morning but I continue to innocently eat my food.

“You remember what we talked about, right?”

“Hmmm..?”

“Even though you're going to school with your brother and the others now, I still want you to try to branch out into other things without them. You’re in high school now and I don’t want you to miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities and experiences because of the boys,” The brunette continues.

“Yeah mom, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll make new girl friends when I try out for sports. Maybe volleyball? Or basketball. I don’t know—something. I still haven’t decided yet.” I shrug around a mouthful of food.

“You know that's not what I mean, Y/N… Just think about at least trying to join, maybe, I don’t know. Cheer? We don’t care if you don’t make it, but at least just attend tryouts? Who knows, maybe you’ll like it.”

Ahhh, and there it is. Even after all these years, my parents are still trying to push me to be more independent from my brother and the boys by doing more female dominated activities.

“Pffffttt!” Shelley snorts behind a glass of orange juice and I glare at her, angrily stabbing at my poor eggs.

“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be on campus, at your dorm or something? I bet she’s ditching classes, mom! Wasting all that college tuition!” I tattle annoyingly on my elder sister in spite.

“Shut up, TURD!” She voices over me, kicking the leg of my chair and making me pout even more.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

When my brother and I walk to the bus stop, I’m still pouting at what my mom reminded me of. I get more upset when I think about how we have to take the bus, even though most of the guys know how to drive.

Admittedly, we’re not of age to even get our license yet but some of us have their driver’s permit. They learned a little earlier because all of our parents are pretty chill with us learning how to drive as South Park doesn’t get traffic at all. This eases their anxiety as there are barely any other drivers on the road.

It doesn't ease my anxiety though, which is why I never learned to drive. I mean, why would I need to when I have a servant—oops, I mean brother, who can? The only problem is that none of our parents have gotten any of the guys cars to freely use (except for richass Tolkien) and aren’t planning to until they can legally drive.

“Mmph mmmph mmph? (What’s up with you?)” Kenny asks me before pulling down his parka’s hood.

“I don’t know, man. She’s been pouting since breakfast. Just ignore her,” My brother shrugs in answer for me and I pout even more.

“Probably that time of the month,” Cartman snarks before Kyle punches him in the arm.

“Shut up, fatass.” He says so I seek comfort from the ushanka wearing teen for coming into my defense, hugging his arm and leaning my head against him so I can comfortably mope.

“Hey! I asked how you were first. Come here, Princess.” Kenny whines and makes grabby hands at me but before he can do anything, the bus pulls up. As I look around at the new faces sitting all around me, Kenny grabs my arm and pulls me to the seat beside him.

“What’s wrong, beautiful?” He asks, putting his arm around me but I just shrug in response.

“Is it because you didn’t get enough sleep last night? You know you don’t need beauty sleep when you’re already so pretty. And Tweeks bringing you coffee, yeah? Just wait a few more minutes and you’ll be able to get your fix,” He gently offers but I just shake my head.

“Are you nervous for your first day? Don’t worry baby girl, daddy’s here.” He teasingly says while winking at me, and it works. I crack a smile because of how cheesy and ridiculous his words are and softly slap the hand that's on my shoulder, leaning my head against him for the rest of the ride.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

South Park High looks the same as it did on orientation when we got our class schedule, prior to the first official day of school. Even then, I’m not as nervous about transferring to a completely different environment since I have my boys with me.

Kenny still has an arm around me as he walks me to my locker, until Craig pulls him by the hood to take him off of me, choking him in the process.

“Fuck! You asshole!”

“Can any of you guys not get into trouble on our first day of school?” Kyle sighs with his eyes closed, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose when he and the others get to us. I finally get my much needed coffee and hug Tweek out of appreciation.

“That’s like asking Cartman not to eat.” Clyde snickers to the guys, eliciting laughs all around and lifting my mood up even more.

“Aye!”

“Ngh! Whoever gets to the cafeteria first grabs us an empty table, right?” Tweek interrupts while we voice our confirmations, my arm wrapped around his lower back from our earlier hug as I sip on my warm cup of caffeine.

“I’ll pick you up after class for lunch, N/N.” Craig’s monotonous tone reaches me, leaving no room for a no as the others pick up conversation around us.

“You don’t have to! Isn’t your class at the other end of the school? I don’t want you to have to go through all that trouble for me.”

“Yeah, dude.” Stan side eyes him, having heard our exchange.

“You’re so short, I don’t want you to get lost in a sea of people and miss lunch.”

“Pffft, Craig! Even if I did get lost, I wouldn’t miss the whole lunch period.” I smile fondly at him, letting go of Tweek to adjust my backpack’s strap.

“Yeah, if anything, I can pick up Y/N.” Kenny pipes up as Craig furrows his brows at his interruption. Stan rolls his eyes at the both of them, deciding to leave the conversation and go talk to Kyle instead.

“We have the same class, you idiot.”

“And? Everyone knows I’m faster than you.”

“Says who? My legs are literally longer than yours and I’m the tallest of the group. One step from me is equal to, like, four struggling steps from you. Three if I’m being generous.”

“Ugh, you guys are annoying. I have the class before lunch with Clyde so we’ll just meet you guys there, okay? Sheeeeesh,” I make the decision for them.

“You rang, beautiful?” Clyde drops his prior conversation with Jimmy and Tolkien midway to nosely join ours at the mention of his name, leaning his arm on me like I’m an armrest.

“Shut up, Clyde.” The three of us say as I shove his elbow off of me.

・ ─ ・ ⋯ ・ ─ ⊹ ♡₊˚๑

When it’s finally lunch time, Clyde and I enter the cafeteria to see that a few of the guys managed to snatch a table for us so we head straight to the lunch line to grab some food. On our way there, we stop by a table and say hi to Jimmy, Scott, Timmy, and Dovahkiin.

“You go here now, baby Marsh?” Dovahkiin types out to me on his phone, an eyebrow raised.

“Yep! My folks finally decided to let me go to school with everyone!”

“Oh boy.”

“Hmmm? And what do you mean by that? I don’t like your tone, Dov.” I playfully shoot back.

“More trouble this year :p”

I laugh, “We’re not that bad! Actually… that’s valid. Whatever! You’re just jealous that you don’t get the attention of being the new kid now that I’m here!” I stick out my tongue at him and push down the bill of the hat he’s wearing to cover his eyes.

His melodic laugh can be heard and I smile, feeling proud that I was able to get a sound out of the notoriously mute Douchebag. I notice that a few other students look our way in surprise from the corner of my eyes.

I settle myself in between Craig and Kenny while Clyde takes a seat at the other side of the table between Tolkien and Tweek. The rest of the school day goes fine and the day after goes similarly. The third day, however, is different. It’s during one of our passing periods when I’m at my locker to switch out my books that it happens.

I share all of my classes with at least one of the guys so I usually have a buddy with me throughout the whole day. While Butters normally walks with me during this passing period, he had to use the bathroom and told me that he’d just meet me at class. When I close my locker door shut, a group of girls come up to greet me.

“Hi! My friends and I were wondering what your name is, new kid.” The black haired girl smiles at me. She’s really pretty and I can tell from that, her silky hair, and cute sense of fashion that she’s probably popular with others.

“Oh! Hi! My name is Y/N!”

“Cute name! I just wanted to formally introduce myself. My name is Wendy Testaburger. I’m the student body council president and co-captain of the cheer team,” I nod at her words, impressed. Holy shit, she’s only a sophomore and she was able to get people to vote for her for president?

“My name is Heidi Turner! It’s nice to meet you!” A girl with light brown hair introduces herself next. Her headband is so cute and unique with a flower sitting to the side of it, I’m in awe of her personal style and confidence.

“I’m Bebe Stevens! Stick with us and you’ll be fine, okay new kid? We’ll let you know which boys are a waste of your time!” The blonde giggles, twirling curly hair around her perfectly manicured finger.

I can’t help but to think that the aura she exudes is more mature. Maybe it’s because of the higher end attire she's sporting? Or maybe… it’s her rack..? Ah fuck, don’t look there, stupid! Eyes up, idiot! God dammit, this is all Kenny and Clyde’s fault!

“The name’s Rebecca McArthur but you can just call me Red! If you want to try out for cheer, let us know so we can tell you when our coach has a date set for tryouts!” Wait, are they all cheerleaders? The boys will be jealous of me once they find out about my new pretty friends hehe.

“We actually wanted to ask if you’d like to have lunch with us, too. Find us in the lunchroom if you ever decide to and feel free to sit with us! It doesn’t have to be today, but anytime you feel like it! We’ll see you around, okay?” Wendy invites me as the rest of the girl say their byes.

While being the new kid means that a good amount of people have been greeting me in the hallways or going up to me in class to introduce themselves, this was the first time that I’ve been invited to sit with someone for lunch. I’m so excited that I inform my lab partner of the news.

“no one new has invited me to sit w/ them at lunch since i came! :D” I write out in my notebook before sliding it across the two-person lab counter to my seatmate in science class.

“duh, it’s cause ur bro + his friends are super overprotective of you. no one can approach you even if they wanted to since you’re with them all the time :P” Dovahkiin writes back and I frown at this revelation.

“huh… that makes sense, i guess? oh god ew, i hope no one thinks that im dating any of them :x my brother?? CARTMAN?? vomit!!”

“its ok, you can tell anyone that im ur bf if they do :D” I softly hit his arm with the back of my hand even though I’m rewarded with his melodic snickering.

By the time lunch comes around, I’m giddy when I grab my food with Clyde. I tell him to go on ahead of me and he doesn’t question it, probably thinking that I want to stop by Timmy and the other’s table again. I don’t, however, and scan the room until I find the table that the girls are sitting at.

I sit next to Wendy and Bebe after I skip to their table, the ravenette patting the seat between them with a smile on her face. It feels nice talking to the girls as we get to know each other, with them asking me about how I’m adjusting to the school and what classes I have.

“We have another friend, her name’s Nichole, but she said she has to do something in the library today.” Red informs me and I soak up the information, enthusiastically nodding my head at her words.

“Speaking of Nichole, we actually noticed that you hang out with her boyfriend and his friends.” Bebe nonchalantly brings up as the girls all glance at one another.

“Oh, what! Wait, so that means your guy’s Nichole is the same one that's dating my friend Tolkien, then? No one else has a girlfriend that I know of,” I smile up at them.

“Mhmm, we actually noticed that you're really close to the guys,” She continues. The other girls seem interested too as they give me their undivided attention.

“Haha, yeah. They’re like my brothers!”

“Really? You just started going to school in South Park though?” They’re all surprised.

“Yeaaah, but I’ve known them all my life! I’ve actually lived in South Park all my life too. I just went to school in North Park until this year,” I say as I munch on my fries.

“How? Are you neighbors with one of them or something?”

“That, but I also went to preschool with them. If you guys have always been in South Park like me, we probably even went to the same preschool! I can’t remember shit from that long ago though so you guys probably don’t remember me too,” I shrug.

“Huh. I’m surprised that you guys kept in contact throughout the years then.” Wendy says to me in thought this time, the other girls nodding.

“Hmm, I can see why you'd say that. But my brother’s one of those dumbasses, so…”

“What?!” All the girls exclaim. Their unexpectedly loud response causes a casualty in my fries. I look at the fallen piece of food under the lunch table and mourn the tiny loss.

“So that makes you twins then..? Unless one of them flunked, resulting in you getting stuck in the same grade with him. It’s honestly believable with how dumb those guys are but we’ve gone to school with them all of our lives and we know that none of them have been held back a grade…” Wendy mumbles out and I laugh, agreeing with her statement.

“Yup, twins! I’m a Marsh!” I proudly boast, smiling wide with my teeth showing. Wendy chokes on her water and all the girls share a meaningful glance with her.

“Pfffft, oh man! We wanted to warn you about those dumbasses because we always saw you with them, but we just thought they got to you first and you were oblivious to who they were. I didn’t think you grew up that close with the guys, much less being related to one of them!” Bebe laughs at the unexpected turn of events.

I blush, flattered that they cared enough about a new girl like me to want to warn me about who they thought the ‘wrong crowd’ was.

“Not like you can say anything though, Bebe. You dated one of them,” Red scoffs, entertained at Bebe’s slowly reddening cheeks.

“That doesn’t count! Who even counts relationships from when they were in elementary school?!”

“Wait… Does this mean you’re the same Bebe that dated Clyde?” My entire expression does a complete 180 as I cross my arms and lift an eyebrow at the blonde.

“Dude. You used him for shoes.” I continue, furrowing my brows at the mortified girl.

“I was just a selfish little kid! I didn’t know any better! At least I didn’t date Eric Cartman!” She throws Heidi under the bus in an attempt to divert the attention away from herself. I continue to stare at her, unamused.

“Well, Wendy and your brother dated on and off when we were younger!” My eyes widen as I turn my head to the person sitting on the other side of me.

“Aw, dude.” I say to her in a mixture of pity and disgust, the expression reminding the girls of when Stan would say it. If there were any doubts about my bloodline, this further confirmed it for them.

“I-I-It’s not like that anymore! I haven’t thought of him in that way since elementary school!” It’s Wendy’s turn to get red in the face and embarrassed.

“Yeah, it’s the other Marsh. Homegirl has a type~” Bebe snickers at the other girls but I don’t hear it, still in disbelief that my brother managed to date someone as pretty as Wendy, regardless if their relationship wasn’t legit due to their age.

Before anyone can say anything else, the bell signals the end of the lunch period and the disbelief remains throughout the day. I catch up to the guys outside of the lunchroom and they waste no time questioning me.

“What the hell, Y/N! Why’d you eat with those bitches?! I know it might be hard for you but I thought I warned you to stop being so stupid!” Cartman seems irritated as the other guys echo their sentiments at having seen me eating with the girls. No, their exes. I squint my eyes at my dumb brother and at the fatty.

“Hello? Y/N! Don’t tell me your weak ass got brainwashed in an hour?! Jesus fucking Christ, woman!” Fatass continues while shaking my shoulders. I roll my eyes and push his grubby paws off me.

“You’re an ass. Heidi’s such a sweet girl. I don’t know why I’m so surprised that you managed to fuck that up,” I tell him as we continue to walk in the hallways.

“Nuh-uh! She was the crazy bitch in the relationship! She manipulated me! She took advantage of all this,” He waves his hands over his body, “For her own selfish gain!”

“What is there to even gain from you? A few pounds?” The guys laugh and I fistbump Craig.

“And you! Bro. Brooo. Wendy? When will you surprise me for once and not embarrass me for being related to you?” I cross my arms while Kenny hugs me from behind, throwing his arms over my shoulders and smiling at Stan from over my head.

“Nah, she's nicknamed Testabitch for a reason, babe.” Kenny takes out the lollipop in his mouth to reply and I push his hand away from my face when he offers the sweet to me.

“She’s not your babe,” We hear from Craig’s deep voice as he eyes the blonde in disgust at his offering.

“Did Bebe say anything embarrassing about me?” Poor Clyde tugs on my jacket to get my attention. I offer a sympathetic smile and hug the jock, breaking out of Kenny’s hold.

“Don’t worry Clydey, she seemed embarrassed that I knew about her using you for shoes.”

“Don’t hug him for being a fucking simp, Y/N. It’s his fault for being a dumbass. The only thing that bitch is good for is her fat rack.”

“Shut up, fatass.” Of course, Kyle is the one who replies.

“Shit, right? I couldn’t stop staring at them!” I turn my head towards Eric to say.

“Y/NNN!” Clyde whines in betrayal and I pet his head in apology.

[spicysix]

Lui, congrats on 400 followers! 🩵

For the celebration, if I may request: 📖 + stuck in an elevator + steve and fem!reader

thank you babe!!! hope you like this! 💖

join the celebration!

if it rises fast

“Oh, no. Not this again,” you complained as you felt that robotic hesitation as the elevator went up, as you heard its gears trying to work and not fully doing it.

It slowed down... slowed down... before stopping. Completely.

“Shit,” you mumbled as you rubbed your eyes.

“What’s going on?” The voice behind you startled you a little.

You forgot there was a guy with you, he was so quiet as the elevator rose the first few floors. You turned to face him, and got a little blown away by how beautiful he was. Like, magazine front page beautiful. Shiny hair carefully coiffed up, pretty peachy lips, a little mole or two that gave him an extra charm.

You got lost in the dude’s beauty for a little while.

His lips perked up a bit, as if he knew why you were staring at him for so long.

“Oh, uh. The elevator gets stuck sometimes. Such an old thing, y’know. Lots of complaints, and they haven’t updated it yet,” you finally answered, and his lips and eyebrows turned down into a frown.

“It’s happened before?” he questioned.

“Yeah. With me in it, two times already. I’ve heard it from five other neighbors too,” you said, remembering how much Ms. Durvall from sixth floor yelled when she complained about it. She gave you the creeps. “You’re new here? Or visiting?”

“Uh, new. Moved in with two friends, we just got to the city a week ago. We’re from a- what are you doing?” he stopped his life story when he saw you sitting down.

“I’ve pressed the help button,” you nodded to a little button pressed all the way in the control panel. “Don’t know what it does, maybe it calls the fireman? But, anyway, it’s gonna take some time. Maybe a few hours.”

“A FEW- Jesus, Robin’s gonna kill me,” he hid his face behind his hands, and you had to suppress a giggle at how adorable his whine sounded.

“Don’t worry, your girlfriend will understand when she finds out you had no choice but to stay stuck in an elevator,”

“I’m not so sure, she’s terrified of elevators, told me to get the stairs. She’ll probably be all like, ‘oh, I told you so!’. Ah, and not my girlfriend. She’s actually dating our other roommate,” he said as he sat down too, pressed against the other metallic wall, facing you.

“What floor are you guys in?”

“Eight.”

“And she goes up the stairs every time?” You didn’t know whether to be scared or admired.

“Yeah. Got some killer calves,” he smiled. “We have a terrible history with getting stuck on elevators. I worked my ways through… well, a lot of therapy. Now I can ride them again after a few years, but she never got past it. I can understand why.”

He said it in such a way that you didn’t feel like prying. There was something else in that story, something he probably didn’t wanna talk about, so you didn’t ask.

“You guys from around here?” you asked instead. You were going to be stuck for a while there, it wouldn’t hurt to make some small talk and get to know your pretty new neighbor.

“No, actually, we’re all the way from Indiana. Small town,” he shrugged.

“Why San Francisco?” you asked, and he searched for something in your eyes, your face, before answering.

“It’s safer,” he answered only, again not giving you space to ask further. Maybe he didn’t find what he was looking for. “You’re from here?

“Born and raised, yeah.” You went quiet for a little while, trying to come up with something to talk about. Then, you noticed: “I don’t know your name yet.”

“I don’t know your name either.” He smirked. “I'm Steve.”

You introduced yourself and Steve asked more about you. You lost track of time talking to him, learning how charming he could be, but also really funny — in a bitchy way. He talked about Robin, his best friend and platonic soulmate, and their friend Nancy, who he used to date but now they’re great friends (you got the impression that Nancy was the other roommate that Robin was dating, but didn’t ask, not wanting to make him uncomfortable). He told you about two other friends of theirs who lived back in Sacramento, one who lived in LA, and a bunch of other younger friends who were scattered around the country all chasing their dreams. Talked about his work as a school counselor, how it took him some long years to figure out what he wanted to do professionally.

You told him about yourself too, answered everything he asked honestly and openly. Talked about your job, your own roommate, your other friends and family. Gave him tips on the best places to visit and shop in the city, ways for him and his roommates to contour the ‘new citizens’ weird phase. You talked about music, movies, books, food, your favorites and the ones you hated, anything you’d come up with.

He was sweet and charismatic, and always found new topics for you to talk about. He read you like a book, figuring you out in no time and swerving the conversations so easily. Flirted a lot too, which was great for your self-esteem.

He came closer at some point, sitting beside you, and then you faced each other more closely. And from that distance you could see every little detail in his pretty face, studied him with precision. You could look at him for however long, to be honest, and you wanted to memorize every tiny inch of what made him, him. The curves of his hair defying gravity, the scars on his forehead and nose, every little green spot in his hazel eyes. Count every and each one of his eyelashes, and get blinded by the way he smiled.

More than that, you could talk to him for however long, and you wanted to. Wanted to learn about all of his many friends, who he talked about with so much love in his voice, who all sounded like a big family to him. Wanted to learn the story with the elevator trauma, wanted him to trust you and open up to you, and wanted to do the same back with him.

It was weird to you, you’ve never felt this way before — so magnetically pulled to someone’s orbit. But Steve’s voice was like a Siren’s call, and there was a funny bubbling in your stomach that wanted and wanted and wanted him.

You never thought you’d be disappointed with the sounds of the elevator’s gears running again, and yet you hid a frown when the doors opened to show you a fireman, the building’s janitor and a tall, skinny girl with a strawberry blond bob pacing anxiously behind them.

“Steve! Oh, my god, Steve!” she said when she noticed you and Steve sitting on the floor, and she wasted no time getting past the other two men to throw herself at the one by your side. Robin, you figured. “You fucker, I told you to use the stairs!” you heard her saying, a little muffled from where her face was buried into Steve’s neck.

He looked at you over her shoulder and you smiled at the way he was right about her.

“I’m okay, Robs, I had good company. Didn’t even have time to get stressed,” he said, running his hand up and down her back in a soothing gesture, his eyes still on you, his smile just for you.

Robin sat up and looked at you, and you introduced yourself and she did the same. She thanked you for being there for Steve, as if it hadn’t been a total random accident, but you were also happy that you’ve met him. More happy that you could say out loud.

You all got up from the floor, left the elevator, and you offered a day to throw them a welcome diner, you’d invite your roommate and they could call their other friends. Robin seemed excited, all big gestures and loud voice. You liked her.

Goodbyes were said, you were going back to your place — through the stairs this time, thankfully you lived on the second floor — and they were going grocery shopping. Robin walked to the front door of your building, but Steve stayed planted in front of you for a while as you looked at each other and you tried not to smile too wide.

“Can I take you out on a date?” he asked after a while, fingers twitching and you wondered if he wanted to touch you. You wanted him to touch you.

“First one in the city?” you teased and he huffed a laugh while running his hand through his hair.

“One of many with you, I hope. No one else caught my eye, if I’m being honest.” The man was straight forward. You felt you cheeks burning, couldn’t hold back the wide grin anymore.

“You’ve been here just a week, Steve,” you said, warned him almost, because you wanted so much with him, and you were afraid of were this could go if it went wrong.

“Meh, it took me a while and some bumps to the head, but now I’m pretty good at knowing what I want. Don’t gotta search for so long anymore.” His eyes were staring deep into yours, and you felt his hand coming to find yours to hold.

You bit your lip and his eyes traced the movement, and there was a butterfly party in your stomach.

“Someone told me there’s a great restaurant just at the end of the street,” he said, referencing one of the tips you gave him early.

You laughed. “Yeah, okay. Take me out on a date, Steve. Next Friday?”

“I’ll be counting the days.” He took a step closer, his thumb was tracing patterns on the back of your hand and your skin was tingling. “Can’t believe I’m glad to have gotten stuck on an elevator. Well, create good memories to overlap the bad ones, I guess.”

“I’m looking forward to create other memories with you,” you almost whispered, because being that open was scary, and the way you wanted him so much was scary, but he smiled at you again and it was blinding in the best way.

“Me too, honey. See you around,” he said, before pressing a kiss on your still burning cheek, and you could smell his scent of soap and fabric softener, hairspray and fancy cologne, and you had to hold yourself back not to get buried in his skin.

God, it was pathetic how far gone you already was.

He walked away still facing you, holding your hand until the very last possible second before letting go, and you could hear Robin laughing in the background but you only had eyes for him.

Yeah, you’d also be counting the days.

[2chopsticks2eyes]

What You Deserve: Part 2

This is part 2 of a three part series, please be sure to start from part one!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Fem Reader

Themes: Smut, Angst, Fluff

Word Count: All parts are ~67k | AO3

Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, mentions of non-con, PTSD, Anxiety, Alcohol, Cussing, Come Eating, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Loss of Virginity, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, References to Drugs, Drug Dealing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Eating Disorders, Childhood Trauma, Vaginal Sex, Protected Sex, Unprotected Sex

Summary: After unfortunate circumstances, you pack up and move to Korea with your best friend Bang Chan to attend college. After falling into Chan's group of friends he had established, you find yourself getting a little too close to the mild tempered and snarky Lee Minho.

Author's Note: I am probably spoiling the whole story with the warnings, but I like to be safe. I originally was only on AO3, but I wanted to link platforms with Tumblr and Twitter too. Hope you enjoy!

________________________________________

Part Two: Discoveries

“Is everything okay with you and Channie-hyung?” You whipped your head around at Felix. You were currently sitting in the passenger seat of his beat up old Toyota Corolla. Chan had left before everyone else to help set up so Felix had offered to drive you to Seungmin’s for the party.

“Of course Lix, why do you ask?” You tried to not actively show how pissed off you were, but you suppose your other flatmate had picked up on the cold atmosphere between you and your best friend.

“It’s just… I don’t know, you two are usually laughing and talking twenty-four-seven and I feel like you two are intentionally avoiding each other now…” You looked at the sweet boy’s face and he seemed genuinely concerned. The boy’s got a goddamn heart of gold.

You breathed a deep sigh and looked forward to the road again. “Yeah, everything will be fine, Lix. We just… we got in a stupid ass fight and I don’t think either of us are ready to hash it out just yet.”

“Oh…” He sounded disappointed as he nodded his head in understanding. “Well, I’m sure you two will work things out fairly quickly! I’ve never seen a pair of friends quite as close as you two are, maybe Minho and Jisung, but none other!” Ugh. Why did he have to bring up Minho? It’s not as if your airhead mind wasn’t already being plagued by the man constantly. The LAST thing you needed was to add fuel to the fire. The fire that may or may not have been burning in your pants. Constantly.

“Thanks, Lixie. That’s sweet of you to say.” You raised your hand and gave him a small pat on his shaggy blonde head as he answered with a squinty smile.

The two of you rolled up and you braced yourself to face Chan as Felix knocked on the expensive apartment building’s door. You two heard a loud ‘COME IN!’ from none other than the ever-yelling Seo Changbin and the two of you tentatively stepped inside.

You stepped out of your shoes in the fancy entryway and rounded the corner on the right to fully enter the apartment. “TA-DAAA!” You stopped in your tracks as soon as you were faced with Jisung and Minho with their arms spread out in presentation of their surprise. And, boy, was it one HELL of a surprise.

Both of them were sporting brand new silky, midnight blueish-black hair. DAMN THOSE TWO FOR WRECKING YOUR HEART! You felt your stomach fall out of your ass and you were cursing them in all languages under the sun. “Holy SHIT.” You didn’t even give two flying fucks that you let that one slip.

“You like it?” Jisung was lightly bouncing, making his fresh new hair floof out in the process. He looked exponentially hopeful of your approval and looked stupid adorable with his cheeky smile.

“Fuck yeah I do!” You walked up to the two boys who smiled at you in suspension of your words. “Damn, you two are looking FINE AS HELL!” You shamelessly brought each of your hands up to their heads to run through their silky locks, to which they allowed with pleasure.

“Good, ‘cause I’d hate to have to redo it if you didn’t.” Minho winked at you and you silently kicked yourself for your dumbass swooning. You had desperately tried to avoid eye contact, but how could you when he looked like a whole fucking SNACK? With his stupid new hair color with his stupid black ripped jeans that hug his stupidly thick thighs deliciously and his stupid plain black t-shirt that would look boring on literally anyone but him, topping it off with that stupid fucking leather jacket that fits him perfectly.

“Psh, I highly doubt my opinion would convince you to go through another color treatment.”

“True, but it’s the thought that counts.” Cheeky bastard.

“Wait, is this why you skipped class?” You wouldn’t put it past him, he’s a fucking god at dancing so he can afford to miss a class or two.

He shrugged. “The world may never know.” He gave another breathtaking wink and you fumed at the damned tease.

You couldn’t help but glance over at Chan who was staring daggers at your interaction with the boys from his position next to Seungmin in the kitchen. You knew it was petty, it really was, but you couldn’t help it. You turned to stand in between the boys and looped your arms through each of theirs tightly. “C’mon, my two favorite blueberries, let’s get trashed!”

- - - - - - - - - -

Everyone sat in a circle around the large coffee table in the living room with their various drinks of liquor, cocktails, beer, et cetera. Chan was on the opposite side from where you were on the couch sandwiched between Jisung and Minho.

“Why can’t I be blueberry number one?” Said a very disgruntled Lee Minho from your left.

“Because she obviously likes me more!” Jisung said from your right, leaning over you to poke his tongue out at his best friend.

You chuckled at the quokka. “It’s because his cute little cheekies are so round and cute like a blueberry. I just want to grab him and squish them!” You took his alcohol flushed face in your hands by his cheeks and smooshed them accordingly, to which he promptly decided to close his eyes and pucker his lips out as you laughed at him.

“Yah! Back off, Han Jisung!” Minho shoved Jisung away from you as the quokka giggled. You felt your ears heat up as you imagined it to be over possessiveness of you. Even though it was stupid... No, IT IS stupid. End of story.

“What? It’s not as if she’s taken hyuuuung.” Jisung taunted his fellow blueberry, who just glowered right back at him.

“No, it’s because she’s just like one of us. One of the guys. Stop harassing her, Hanji.” Chan spoke up from across the table with a dead serious glare. You heard the laughter beside you go quiet and you could feel your anger rise again.

You threw your arm around Jisung’s shoulder. “Cool it, Chan. It’s all for shits and giggles, right Ji?” You could feel Jisung tense under Chan’s menacing eyes.

“Heh, yeah, just all for fun hyung…” He chuckled nervously and you reclaimed your arm from his warmth.

Everyone in the room went silent as you and Chan were having a damned Mexican stand off in the middle of the living room. You abruptly decided to chug your double bourbon and coke in one go and stood rigidly. “Whatever, I’m getting more to drink.”

Once you were in the privacy of the kitchen, you could hear low mumbling coming from the other room. Damnit, Chan! Why are you being like this? I mean... you, yourself, weren’t necessarily helping the situation, but it’s not as if you were intentionally dragging the rest of the group into it!

You refilled the glass of melted ice and you stiffened as you heard footsteps approach from behind you. “Hey…” You physically relaxed. You turned around and presented your most convincing smile to Seungmin.

“Hey, sorry about all of that. Oh! I forgot to tell you congrats buddy! I really like your new place, you must be loaded as hell. How much do you pay for this shit?” He looked utterly unconvinced.

“I appreciate your interest, but you know that’s not what I want to talk about right now.”

You sighed and hung your head. “I know I know, sorry Seungmin. I know we shouldn’t bring our drama into your party… I’m willing to ignore our petty quarrel for tonight if he is, but I really don’t think this is something he and I can solve in just one night.”

He nodded in understanding. “Okay Kiyomi, I appreciate it. I’ll talk to Chan-hyung too. Don’t be too long, okay?”

“Kay…” You gave him a meek grin as he exited the room again, exhaling in defeat once he was gone. Why tonight, of all nights, is it when we fight like this? It’s not like you two were strangers to disagreements and petty tiffs, even so, they were very few and far between so when they happened, it felt ten times worse.

Just as you finished making your drink, you turned to go back to the living room. However, lo and behold, the bane of your existence, Lee Minho crashed right into you as you rounded the corner. Bourbon and coke drenched  the both of you, on display for everyone to see, the darkened drink fully soaked through your white t-shirt. You looked down in horror as your bra became more and more visible through the dampening cloth. Lord, kill me now.

“Aw fuck, Kiyomi, I’m so sorry! Are y–” You flushed in embarrassment as you saw Minho look down at your current situation and you threw your arms over your chest to cover yourself. Minho was quick to turn and face away, but he didn’t cut and run like you had expected. Instead, he slightly spread his arms, fanning out his leather jacket and stepping to the side so that you were out of view from the group. “Where’s your overnight bag?” He said over his shoulder.

“By the front door…” You squeaked out from your mortified state of being.

“Walk behind me over to the guest room and you can shower in the ensuite and change clothes. I’ll leave your bag just inside the door.” He said it to you, but loud enough so everyone would know to piss off and keep it velvet.

“I’ll clean up!” Jeongin jumped up on his feet and you handed the empty glass to Minho for him to pass on to the maknae. The two of you shimmied over and you muttered a small ‘thank you’ as you closed the door behind you. You melted on the other side of the door and buried your face in your hands. You were reminded that, yes, you’re just like one of the guys, however you ARE still a female. Some things you just can’t mutually brush off. You weren’t exactly proud of your lithe body and now the whole group got a good glimpse of it along with your undergarments. 

You groaned in frustration as you stomped off to the shower.

- - - - - - - - - -

Your heart swelled with warmth as you stepped back into the room - your towel wrapped firmly around you - and saw your bag right where Minho said he would put it. It also appeared that he had closed the door and locked it behind him for good measure. He had always been attractive to you, but the act of respect he showed you earlier made him all the more desirable. You were SO far beyond suppressing your fucked up affection for this man.

You shimmied into your mint colored silk pajamas, A cute, collared button-up with matching shorts that actually complimented your slim figure. Not to make an impression or anything. Definitely not… You took a deep breath and mentally convinced yourself to not be awkward when you returned to the party.

As you opened the door, you were relieved to see all of the boys chatting amongst themselves. Changbin and Minho were yelling at each other and being rowdy like usual. You reclaimed your seat in between the blueberries and Felix cooed at you. “Aww your pj’s are so cute, Kiyomi! I’m jelly!”

“Well Chan bought them so go ahead and thank him.” You offered a small smile to your bestie and you felt a bit of weight lift from your shoulders as he returned it. You lightly shoved Minho’s elbow, pulling him from his zoned out state that was focused on your silk nightwear. You mentally patted yourself on the back. “Yah! You’re the one who wasted my drink, go get me a new one!”

He gaped at you in mock offense. “As you command your highness!” You smiled at him with triumphant smugness as he stood from his seat to play bartender.

“Okay!” Seungmin stood up in front of the group. “Before everyone gets shitfaced, we need to go over sleeping arrangements. There are three bedrooms, all with California kings so we can fit three on each, we just need to figure out who’s sleeping with who.”

Chan looked at you warily. “Are you sure it’s a good idea for Kiyomi to sleep with two of us?” Minho returned and silently passed your mixed drink to you which you accepted with an exaggerated bow.

“What’s the big deal, Chan? You and I would sleep together most nights when I stayed at your place growing up. Or would you rather me sleep on the couch?” You knew that would strike a nerve, but you needed to make your point clear. 

“No–” Minho and Chan eerily said in tandem, making them awkwardly glance at one another.

Chan added, “Absolutely not.”

“You're not sleeping on any damn couch.” Minho’s face was stern and it got you super heated to see him be so serious. The group looked confused at their outburst. 

You looped your arms around the two boys on each side of you. “If that's the case, I’ll just cuddle up with my adorable blueberries!” You swiveled your head back and forth like an oscillating fan at the two and watched as they both suppressed their endeared smiles. And you may or may not have minded the idea snuggling up to Minho in the sheets…

“Fine, do whatever you want…” Chan crossed his arms and sighed. At least he was backing off a bit. Maybe?

“We’ve decided to play ring of fire like old times, I’ve already translated and explained the rules to everyone. You cool with that?” Chan sounded surprisingly calm in contrast to his earlier demeanor. You’re grateful that he is trying to be civil for the party. Even if you know you two will be at each other’s throats when you return home.

“Hell yeah I’m cool with that! I feel like I’m back in high school, hiding out in your parent’s shed.” Chan huffed a suppressed chuckle.

"Yeah, and I had to nurse your wasted ass back to consciousness." A wide smile spread across your face at the memory. You were abruptly startled as Minho grabbed the drink you’re sipping on and took a swig of it for himself.

“What a rebellious little mouse. I never would have guessed.” You scoffed at him and snatched the iced beverage back from his hands.

“Well there’s a lot of things you don’t know, kitty cat.” That’s the understatement of the century. You petulantly poked your tongue out and he returned it in kind. Bad idea, I don’t need to see his tongue right now. What is wrong with my BRAIN?!

“Yah! Let’s get this show on the road, everyone!” Changbin fucking screamed from his place on the other side of Minho. Everyone covered their ears instinctively, Hyunjin - the drama queen - writhed around as if he was bleeding out.

“Hyuuuung, I’m right next to you! For the love of god, shut the fuck up!” Jeongin collapsed against Chan on his left with his fingers in his ear sockets. Minho joined the yelling with a ‘yah!’ of his own, making you crash into Jisung in an attempt to escape the noise, earning a laugh from the quokka.

Once Chan and Felix situated the game together and plopped a large beer can in the center, the boys were itching to begin. And to be honest, you were too, many fun times flooded your memory as you peered down at the game, filling your brain with pure bitter-sweet nostalgia.

Several rounds passed and you ended up being picked as Jisung’s ‘mate’ when he drew an 8, making you have to join him every time he was forced to take a drink. Which was a SHIT TON apparently with how horrible he was at this game. People had several varieties of drinks in their hands so the ‘pot’ on the side of the ring was filled with an absolutely repulsive concoction by the time the fourth King was drawn by none other than the little baby bread. He swore to the heavens that he would never play this game again as he gagged copiously.

With each Jack that was drawn came worse and worse rules. First, everyone simply had to say something nice to the person on their left any time they had to drink - courtesy of sweet Felix.

Jisung drank a lot so you were basically showered with exaggerated compliments. However this meant you also had to drink, showering Minho with little sassy remarks like ‘I guess you are tolerable’ and ‘you dance pretty good for a man with acrimony tendencies’. He was constantly sour back at you but you could tell it was all in good fun. You quite enjoyed playing with him. Uhm... well maybe not like that... Even though you wouldn't exactly mind that either... Oh god, don’t be dirty minded stupid brain.

Second Jack was to completely speak in third person, if you didn’t you had to take a straight shot of Jäger. A few got caught on that one, but not as many as you had expected.

Thirdly, nasty ass Minho decided you needed to literally lick the bottom of Jisung’s foot if you didn’t end every one of your sentences with ‘I am Minho’s bitch’. And, let me tell you, everyone avoided that penalty like the damn plague. Much to Minho’s dismay, everyone escaped that fate.

And lastly, the final Jack to be drawn landed in the almighty Hwang Hyunjin’s greedy hands. Everyone hunkered in suspense as he conjured up the final rule with an evil grin.

“Okay I’m ready!” He sat up straight with pride written across his angelic face. “Any time you cuss…” You can already predict everyone to fail. “…you have to kiss the person on your right. With. Tongue.”

Jaws dropped across the room. “Damn, babe. You’re ruthless.” Felix said with a hungry smile from Hyunjin’s left.

“And you love me for it. Now pay up.”

“Hell yeah I do.” Felix harshly grabbed his boyfriend’s face and smashed their mouths together in a passionate kiss. The room was equally filled with either cooing at the couple or sounds of disgust. “You do realize that Ji is probably going to have to swap spit with me, right?” Felix realized this as he pulled away.

Hyunjin just shrugged his shoulders. “Collateral damage I guess.”

“Hyunjin, you’re the devil incarnate. You know the majority of us curse like sailors.” Hyunlix just cackled at the Chan’s devastated reaction.

Meanwhile, you were legitimately having an internal melt down due to the fact that, against all odds, you could end up not only making out with one, but both of your blueberry boys. If Minho cusses, you might as well die on the spot.

“Piglet, if you mutter a single goddamned word, I will throw you in a legitimate meat grinder.” Minho was seething at Changbin sitting on his left who looked like his soul just evacuated from his body. He nodded in compliance without another word.

The game moved on and the air was thick with tension, most everyone had resorted to silence, save for Felix who just wanted to suck Hyunjin’s face off.

When Jisung failed the category game again, you groaned in frustration at having to take another drink with your ‘mate’. “Ughhh, what the actual fuck Jisung?! I swear, you're doing it on purpose just to spite me!” Everyone gasped and gawked at you. Your peculiar expression portrayed your pure confusion to the men. What the hell happened? Oh… Ohhh fuck.

Your eyes were as wide as saucers as you stared down at your lap in disbelief. You refused to make eye contact with both Minho nor Chan as you turned to face Jisung’s cheeky grin.

“Hyunjin, I would like to worship you for this glorious moment in my lifetime. I have truly been blessed.” He bowed to the tall man as deep as he could manage in his seated position to which the action was returned. When he turned back to you he gave you a soft look.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve been told I’m an excellent kisser.” You saw his eyes float down to your lips eagerly. It’s not like you hated the idea of kissing Jisung, he was incredibly handsome and his lips definitely looked kissable as fuck, but he was just the cute little quokka you have come to know and love. Your mouth craved a different set of lips...

“Jisung…” You were flabbergasted as Minho and Chan spoke up at the same time again, both with same murderous expressions. You at least knew why Chan was being an ass, but Minho? It was beyond puzzling as to what was going on in his mind. Don’t even think about it…

“Oh come on you two, stop babying her! It’s just a game!” Seungmin was obviously thoroughly enjoying the show from his spot between Hyunjin and Chan.

You chuckled, a little more relaxed from the puppy’s lightheartedness. “Okay you feisty quokka, get over here…” He was already sitting fairly close to you, but he scootched closer nonetheless. It’s just a kiss, no need to make it weird, right?

You made the first move as you placed your palms on his chubby cheeks and pulled him in close. You felt his hands respectfully gently rest high up on your waist as your lips lightly touched.

“We need to see tongue, you scaredy cats!” Right. That. You initiated the task - reminded by a fairly tipsy Jeongin - by slipping your tongue out to meet his.

He wasn’t lying when he said he was a good kisser. Not too slobbery and not too stiff, a proper, sensual kiss. If this were... someone else... you would want to kiss them for days on end. The only problem was the fact that there were no sparks. No stirring feeling in your gut that indicated you really wanted it. Nothing like your most recent kiss…

You felt a broad hand wrap around your forearm as you were being yanked backward. “Okay! That’s enough! We get it! Task done. Move on.” Minho announced a bit too loudly as he released his vice grip on your arm.

“I am officially the luckiest man in the room!” You laughed at Jisung's proclamation when his hands lifted in the air. You couldn’t help but glance in Minho’s direction as Jisung reiterated his happiness. He was glowering down at you with fire and hunger in his eyes like you had never seen before and you felt heat zap up your spine and reddening your face. Welcome back butterflies.

“I beg to fucking differ!” You watched as Felix dived on top of Hyunjin to execute his ‘penalty’.

You heard Changbin clear his throat. “Well then… that was hot as h—“ you heard him pause and shrink away from Minho in terror as he caught his own curse. “-hhhhades! Y-yeah. Hades. *Ahem*” You could almost visibly see him mentally seal off his speech from then on.

“Are we going to continue the game or not?” Chan was visibly fuming, glaring daggers across the table as Jisung feared for his life.

“Cut it out Daddy Bang Chan, it’s just a game.” Felix rolled his eyes and took his turn. 

As the game went on, of course Jisung ended up cussing. Everyone hollered as Jisung and Felix got down to business, except for of course Hyunjin who just grimaced and turned away.

“You asked for it, hyung!” Jeongin pointed out to the disgruntled ferret, already sloshed from the nasty concoction earlier.

The tab on the beer can in the middle of the circle got progressively closer to popping the seal as the previously drawn cards filled the space underneath where everyone had slipped them to fit. Everyone held their breaths as the next person after the next entered their card carefully, praying they wouldn’t hear the telling *tsss* that indicated the seal had been broken.

Minho tactfully drew from the circle, making sure not to break the ring of cards. “Four is for whores! Drink up, whore!” An extremely wasted Felix pointed at you from the other side of Jisung. You loopily giggled as you gulped down the fifth glass of your watered down alcohol from the ice that has melted. You had an extreme lack of judgment as you leaned your dizzy body to rest against Minho’s shoulder. You immediately noticed how he tensed up.

“Fuck it.” Your brain glitched over Minho's cursed words and you peered out at the group of bewildered faces. Minho then decided to unceremoniously shove his card under the tab of the can - with no small amount of force - and promptly popped the seal, indicating the end of the game.

Your mind was in overdrive as you watched him fulfill his duty of chugging the whole can in one go and crunching the empty aluminum container once it was empty. Without warning, his warm hands cupped the sides of your jaw and angled your head up to meet his.

Your body was on fire. His eyes were ravenous and you could feel yourself drown in them as he pulled you closer, lungs refusing to cooperate. When his lips touched yours, everyone in the room disappeared, leaving only the two of you sitting blissfully in the universe. Your lips intertwined freely and your tongues explored each other’s mouths.

He tasted like shitty beer and liquor, but you had never tasted anything more addicting. You could feel your fingers involuntarily glide through his dark locks of silky hair and his thumbs caress where they were placed on your cheeks. Holy fucking hell please don’t let this be a dream.

Your euphoria was abruptly stolen from your grasp as you felt the warm hands and lips leave your skin hastily. Your drunken mind made you want to cry from the loss.

When you opened your droopy eyes, you jolted to your feet - making you stumble gloriously - when you saw that Chan had yanked Minho away and was holding him up by his shirt collar. “What the FUCK, Minho?! The game was over! You didn’t have to force yourself on her like that you piece of shit!” Minho’s face was completely devoid of emotion as his friend cursed at him.

“CHAN!” With all of your intoxicated might, you shoved your best friend away from Minho. “He didn’t force shit on me and you know it!”

The rest of the room had also jumped to their feet and were ready to intervene if things got ugly. “Hyung, it was just a part of the game…” The sweet maknae tried to insert a voice of reason.

“In his defense, Chan-hyung, he technically broke the rule before the game was officially over.” Jisung hid behind Changbin as he tried to protect his best friend.

You and Chan glared daggers at each other while the room fell silent. “Whatever, Y/N. You don’t want me to care anymore? Fine. Here’s me not giving a damn.” With that, Chan stormed out of the room and shrugged on his coat, slamming the front door behind him as he left the apartment. He barely ever uses your given name.

You don’t know when it had happened, but tears were cascading down your face in buckets. You hid your face in your hands to shield your ugly-ass crying face from your friends.

You felt the warm arms of the man at your back wrap around your front in a tight hug. “I’m s-so *hiccup* sorry Min…” You refused to reveal your face from your safe space in your palms as you choked on your sobs.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m not hurt. It’s my own dumbass fault anyway.” He chuckled. You know he was just trying to cheer you up, but it just made you sob more.

You could hear shuffling throughout the room and you could feel another pair of arms wrap around you. You were almost positive that it was Felix from the lithe frame of the body. Then you felt another, then another. You were afraid to look up and see just how many of your friends were trying to comfort you.

“You know he’s just trying to protect you, noona. You know that right?” You weakly nodded your head and assumed Seungmin could see it from wherever he was at.

Once you felt the sobs that were wrecking your body subside, you lifted your head from your hands and saw all seven of the boys crowding around you. You were exponentially emotional from the situation and you felt extremely undeserving. Chan was the reason you were here with them. Hell, Chan was the reason you were even still alive, really.

“I need to make this right…” You started stumbling towards the door.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Changbin had a hold on your wrist. “It’s the middle of the night and your fucking plastered, NO WAY are we going to let you go chase him around when it’s dark out and you’re as boiled as an owl!” He pulled you back to the group as Jisung and Minho bracketed you on each side and threw their arms over your shoulders.

“Let’s get to bed, Kiyomi. You can talk to Channie-hyung in the morning.” Jisung smiled at you brightly and you returned it with a weak grin.

“Okay…” You took one last look at the front door and worried about your best friend. He had been drinking too...

After everyone bid good night to each other, you quickly texted Chan.

 

Kiyomi😈:

Let me know when u get home, kay?

We can talk in the morning but I really do love u Channie…

G’night pup.

You tense in anticipation when you receive a text almost immediately after.

Channie🐺:

I’m home

It takes a minute longer but then you see another message appear.

Channie🐺:

I love u too, sis…

Get some sleep, sweet dreams

You could almost cry in relief when you felt that your relationship wasn’t completely in shambles. How could it be? You two were family. Always would be.

The three of you crashed onto the California king bed together in the room with the ensuite. Jisung on your right side and Minho on your left. It felt weird, almost wrong , to be laying in bed with two incredibly attractive men. But to you, they weren’t really labeled strictly as the opposite sex, they were so much more to you.

The two boys hugged you on each side, squishing you into a sandwich and squeezed a strangled giggle out of your mouth. When they relaxed their grip, you couldn’t control the words that fell out of your gob. The phrase being all-too-common coming from your mouth. “I don’t deserve you guys…”

“Stop saying nonsense.” Minho cupped his hand over your mouth while Jisung tickled your sides. 

“Ack! Okay! Okay!” You cackled at the feeling. You brought your hands up to rest on both of the arms that were wrapped around your tummy and you sighed in content as you closed your eyes.

- - - - - - - - - -

You slowly regained consciousness as you felt a rustling in the bed next to you. As you turned your head, you saw the warmth of Minho leave the bundle of blankets that incased the three of you. Just as he was about to leave, your arm moved on its own to grab onto his wrist.

“Please don’t leave…” Your half asleep slur made him smile and sit back down.

He patted your head that most likely looked like a rat’s nest. “I’m not, little mouse, don’t worry. I’m just going to get some water.” His words were hardly above a whisper.

“Oh…” You reluctantly released his wrist and he briefly rested his hand on the back of yours. “...well…I want some too, then.”

“As you wish. I’ll be right back.” Not even a witty quip back?

It took a couple minutes, but he eventually creeped back in the room quietly, not wanting to disturb the sleeping quokka. The water was nice and cold and soothed the stinging acid left behind by the liquor. He crawled back in bed next to you as you sipped on the refreshing liquid. When you handed it back to him, he took a few large gulps for himself and sat the glass down on the nightstand.

The two of you naturally faced each other with Jisung at your back. You and Minho laid there and stared into each other’s sparkling eyes. For some reason it didn’t feel awkward. It felt sweet and intimate as if unspoken words were lingering in the air between the two of you.

Your mind wandered back to when he broke the rule in the game. It was beyond obvious to everyone of the risks and tension of the penalty. ‘Fuck it.’ Fuck it, he said. There’s no way that was an accident. Well, you know what, you agreed with him. Fuck it, there was no point in holding back now.

Faster than you intended, you scooted closer to him in bed and grabbed his head with both hands, fingers running through his silky hair yet again. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to get over his beautiful mane. No matter what color. Your eyes moved from his blown out eyes down to his plush lips. The expression on his face was equal parts of surprise and anticipation.

This moment. This is what you’d been longing for. You pressed your lips to his and he eagerly returned the kiss, snaking his arm underneath you so he could wrap both hands securely around your waist. The kiss stayed slow and controlled, the both of you simply enjoying the relief of each other’s touch. Fucking finally.

You were only mildly aware of the sleeping quokka behind you, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Right then, it was only you and Minho, and he was way more intoxicating than anything you had drank that night.

There was a growing ball of heat that consumed your core and you felt like it was best to break the kiss before you lost all sense of proper judgement. You backed away with one last chaste kiss and stared into his eyes once more, heavy breathing emitting from both of your chests. You couldn’t control the huge smile that made your cheeks ache in a happiness that spread across your face.

He returned it in kind. “I kind of like you, little mouse. I think I’ll keep you.” You scoffed at his whispered words, but the annoyance wasn’t able to reach your face as the smile still consumed the space.

“Wow, what a smooth talker. Oh how it makes me swoon.” He chuckled and it seemed - no matter how hard he tried to suppress it - he couldn’t shake his own smile either. You watched his face get nearer and saw as his vision focus on your lips. You prepared for another heavenly kiss, but you suddenly felt yourself being pulled away.

Jisung had apparently rolled over and decided he wanted to cuddle in his sleep. His arm was pulling you in by your waist and his face was buried in the crook of your neck, lightly snoring like a baby pug. You and Minho shared a perplexed expression and when your eyes met, the two of you bursted out in giggles that wrecked your bodies.

The whole bed was shaking from the both of your guys’ hysteria. It was a damn miracle that Jisung didn’t wake up. That boy slept like the dead.

After several moments of smiles and light pecks, you and Minho fell back asleep with fingers intertwined.

- - - - - - - - - -

Boop.

Boop. Boop.

You wrinkled your nose in irritation.

Boop.

You groaned at the pokes you felt across your face, disturbing your sweet dreamland of pancakes and bacon. You could almost smell the delicious scent from the vivid images your mind had conjured up.

Boop.

“Kiyooomi… wakey-wakey…” You smiled at the warm, deep voice of Felix on the other side of your slumbering eyelids. Without much thought behind it, you reached out to the void in front of you until your hands found the small arms of the boy and you pulled him down for suffocating cuddles. “Haha! Kiyomi, you faker!”

He wrapped his arms around you to return the embrace. “Ten more minutes, Lixie. I feel like I just woke up from my deathbed.” You snuggled into his chest and felt the dark clouds return to your consciousness.

“GOOOOD MORNING, SUNSHINES!” Your eyes flew open to the sight of a flying quokka landing a full lunge onto yours and Felix’s balled up forms. You groaned loudly as he joined in the cuddle party. “Wake up lady! Changbin-hyung and Minho-hyung are making breakfast for our sorry, hungover asses.”

You quickly sat up and realized that that smell wasn’t from your dream as your body floated on its own to follow the delicious scent. “Holy fuck. Why didn’t you say so Lix? I’m starving.”

The small blonde shrugged and followed you out. “I was enjoying the cuddles.”

You could feel the smile overflow your face as you stepped into the kitchen and saw the two boys hard at work. Just like your dream had envisioned, a fluffy stack of pancakes and a simmering pile of bacon made their appearances to the side of the work space. You squeezed in between the two men that were diligently working together by the stove and threw your arms over both of them.

“You guys are my goddamn guardian angels. I thought I was going to die.”

“That's a shame. If you died, we could have had sausage and bacon.” You shoved Minho’s chuckling frame to the side.

“I take it back. You–” You pointed at Minho. “-asshole, are a whole damn slice of devil’s food cake.” You shot an exaggerated set of piercing eyes in his direction.

“Is that so? How do I taste?” The man looked like a predator stalking his prey as he scooted back over close to you. You felt your whole face light up in flames and butterflies stir in your gut as you stepped away from his tempting smile. You taste how a motherfucking dose of black tar heroin does to a drug addict. You moved to the other side of Changbin, out of sight from your personal demon.

“Can you two stop dicking around? You’re going to mess up the perfection of my flapjacks.” Changbin whined with an over-concentrated look on his face as he poured another circular form on the skillet.

“Hyung, let’s be real, it was ruined as soon as you took over the task.” Felix said from his spot by the sink, washing his hands.

“Yah! Do you not want any Yongbokkie?!” 

“Sorry Binnie-hyung! Love yooou!” Felix hugged Changbin around the neck briefly and you followed the ball of sunshine to help as he scurried away to set the table.

- - - - - - - - - -

“Lix, don’t worry about driving me back home. I’m going to get a head start so I can talk to Channie, okay?” You had finished your breakfast - barely making a dent before you felt like you were going to burst - and were walking out of the kitchen after you cleaned your dishes. You didn’t eat an extraordinary amount, but you felt more full than you had in weeks. To say the least, Minho was not happy with the amount of leftovers you slid off onto Changbin’s plate.

You informed the other of your plan when you passed the Aussie in the dining room as you headed back to the room to collect your things. “You sure?” His words were muffled with the amount of food stuffed in his freckled cheeks and you nodded with a confident smile on your face.

“I’ll help you get your things together.” Minho stood from the table and followed close behind you as you stepped into the room. 

Once you were safely inside, you froze in your tracks when you heard Minho shut the door behind him. You slowly turned around to face him with an apprehensive expression, heart thumping in your chest as you waited for his next move. But as you looked at his face - where you had expected to find amorous fires emitting from his eyes with a confidence that only Lee Minho could exude - instead, there was a somewhat insecure longing. You had never seen such a look on him, but damn him to hell for looking so freaking beautiful no matter what expression he held.

“Y/N…” He took a hesitant step towards you. “You know that I like you… right?”

You had never seen him so unsure of himself. He always held a confident and intimidating attitude that melted you to the spot, so this reaction was quite startling. You wanted to take away anything that could possibly make him feel anything less than the force of nature he was.

You smirked up at him to stride over to where he was standing, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Unless you kiss everyone like that, I would say I’ve had an inkling.” You could feel him physically relax under your touch and finally felt his muscular hands slither around your waist.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say quite like that, but my cats definitely get plenty of my smooches.” His wink and blinding smile had returned to his face and you could feel it carry over to your own. You felt magnetized to him as your arms subconsciously pulled him down for a reassuring kiss. It sure as hell felt real now. Now that neither of you were drunk or half asleep, the both of you moved like it had always been that way.

The arms that wrapped around you made you feel even tinier than you already were with the way they almost doubled over around you. The warm pressure of his lips made you sigh in pleasure and you found yourself reaching up on the points of your toes to get closer to him. The tongue that snaked out to meet with yours tasted like butter and maple syrup and you drank in the pure bliss the taste brought to you.

You lightly gasped as he pulled your body flush to his and you felt your skin set aflame when his fingers glided up and down your back through the thin material of your top. The skin on the back of his neck felt like lava and you skimmed your fingers underneath the collar to try and feel of more of the satin flesh. You were visibly keening when you felt his fingers find the bottom hem of your silk shirt to do the same.

“Hyung, can you help me w–” You almost screamed when you heard none other than Han Jisung step into the room, but your voice couldn’t express more than a squeak. Minho looked indubitably pissed when you jumped backwards and he whipped around menacingly to face his best friend.

Jisung quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind him. “Ji, wait, it wasn’t w–”

“Well well well! It’s about damn time you made a fucking move, hyung!” Jisung crossed his arms and rolled his eyes at Minho while your brain short circuited. “I was prepared to tell her MYSELF if you kept your gob shut any longer.”

You stared at the pair, completely lost. “W-what?” You looked at Minho expectantly.

He meekly turned back to you as he scratched the back of his neck. “I may have *ahem* mentioned once or twice that I kind of have a thing for you…” He chuckled nervously. So… this wasn’t a new thing for him? He’s had these feelings for a while now? Holy shit…

“He only told me, though. I’m pretty sure everyone else is completely oblivious. Even though I'm not sure how they could be when he looks at you the way he does.” Blueberry #1 just stood there with a smug look on his face when Minho turned his attention back to him.

The feline took a step toward the quokka with malice. “YEAH, which is why that bullshit you pulled last night with your filthy lips was NOT FUNNY.” 

Jisung put his hands up in defense. “Hey, I’m not the one that cussed, she was! Besides, how else was I going to pressure you to get the fuck on with it?”

You stood flabbergasted as you watched the boys bicker. Minho rolled his eyes. “Well you definitely seemed a bit overeager to get your hands on her…” You had then decided that Minho's pouting was now one of your favorite things to witness.

“Can you blame me though? I haven’t gotten any action in AGES and she’s actually a fucking goddess with those lips!” Jisung threw you a sly wink, making you blush furiously.

Blueberry #2 came back to you and wrapped an arm around your waist. “Yeah, I know. So get your own, Sungie! And give us some goddamn privacy while you’re at it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He traipsed over to the door and started to step out before turning back. “But, Kiyomi, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” He flashed yet another crooked grin and winked at you once more.

You couldn’t help but giggle when Minho threw a pillow directly at Jisung’s face, the latter closing the door before it could meet its mark. You heard the fading sound of laughter from the quokka on the other side as he walked away.

You felt an overwhelming sense of giddiness consume you. You gently walked up to the man still glaring at the closed door and placed a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to turn around and face you. “Hey Min?”

As he turned around, his face softened. He brought his left hand up to cup your cheek. “What’s up, my little mouse?” You blushed and look down with a smile on your face, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. “Oh? What’s this? The girl that was sucking on my tonsils a few minutes ago is feeling shy?”

Damn him, he’s not wrong… You harshly punched him in the shoulder. “It’s not like you were any better! Anyway, as much as I would love to bicker over swapping spit, Chan is probably waiting for me…” You turned to collect your things and you felt a strong hand pull you back.

He abruptly spun you around to roughly grab your waist and - in contrast to his hands - he gently pressed his lips to yours. He sensually moved his mouth against you, not quite chaste, but also not quite open-mouthed. “When will I see you next?” He breathed against your lips.

You felt dizzy from his proximity and ethereal face. “I... I don’t know… it depends on how my talk with Channie goes. I’ll text you, but I might not see you until class on Monday.” He pulled back with reluctance.

“Okay, well… I hope everything goes okay. I know he loves you unconditionally and he means well, so I hope you two go easy on each other.” 

You smirked at his comment. “Wow, I think that’s the softest, most heartfelt thing I’ve ever heard you say!” You grabbed his shoulders and turned him left to right as if you were inspecting him. “Is my cat broken?”

He dramatically rolled his eyes at you and suddenly you could see a scheming glint pass over his eyes. You trembled when he stepped closer to you with a bone-chilling smile. He leaned down to whisper in your ear, his lips grazing your lobe. “Would you rather I be rough, little mouse?” His hands landed on your hips and he pulled you flush to him with force. God, I’m a weak, weak woman. You felt like a horny teenager all over again when you found warmth starting to swim through your core, right down to your groin.

You pushed him back in an attempt to avoid the temptation with the whole group just on the other side of the door. “You're the devil, Min. We don’t need the whole friend group to hear you getting ‘rough’.” You tried to glare at him, but you were pretty sure you just looked like a stubborn child.

Where you expected to find more teasing, you found the opposite. “Oh…” He awkwardly dropped his gaze and you wondered if you had said something wrong. “So you don’t want them to know?”

Your heart broke when you saw his downcast face. “It’s not that I don’t want them to know that I’m yours! I'm just not quite ready for Chan to murder you…”

He nodded in understanding, then his face grew that cocky, crooked smile once again. “Sooo, you’re mine?” He bit his bottom lip and all you wanted to do was bite it for him.

“Don’t get cocky, Minnie. You’re still on a tight leash, babe.” What the fuck? The word just instinctively fell out of your mouth and you were mortified at how upfront you were being.

He stepped closer to you again with that darkness in his eyes and regained purchase on your waist. “Babe, huh? I like that, say it again.” He licked his lips and bit it again in anticipation.

You weren’t sure where your sudden confidence came from, but you leaned in close to his ear in preparation to whisper. “I have to leave, baaabe .” You quickly pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek and skipped off to gather your belongings, leaving a blushing statue behind.

- - - - - - - - - -

You took a deep breath as you stood in front of your apartment door. Patience, Y/N. Patience and understanding. Nerves wrecked your body as you opened the door to enter your living room.

You immediately spotted your best friend pacing in front of the kitchen and your heart instantly dropped. He looked awful. His hair was disheveled and there were bags under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept all night. He has insomnia, so you were usually used to this, but he looked way worse than other sleepless nights.

Once your eyes locked, you broke down. You ran up to his anxious form and wrapped your arms around his neck. Tears streamed down your face as he squeezed your waist in a tight hug. “I- I’m so s-sorry Channie. I love you so much and I don’t want us to fight anymore… you deserve someone better than me as a shit friend…”

He squeezed you tighter, leaving you slightly breathless. “Kiyomi, I wouldn’t trade you for anything or anyone on this god forsaken planet. You mean the world to me.” He pulled back and wiped your alligator tears away with his thumbs and laid a small peck on your forehead. “Let’s gather our bearings and veg out to chill for a bit before we work things out, yeah?”

You meekly nodded but refused to let go of his neck. He chuckled at your clinginess and picked you up to lay you on the couch. “I’ll go get snacks, you still want pretzels and chocolate?” You eagerly nodded your head and offered a small smile. No one could ever know you better than Chan.

- - - - - - - - - -

“I- I just don’t think that you need to worry about me 24/7, Channie. I love that you care so much, but I’ve protected myself over these past years that you’ve been gone, haven’t I?”

He hung his head low and nodded. The anime and snacks that had previously been helping to avoid the difficult conversation were completely ignored as the two of you tried to reconcile.

“I suppose that is true. But mom and dad moved you here so I can protect you, love you, and give you a better life. I don’t want to risk you getting a heartbreak or worse from someone who doesn’t love you unconditionally…”

Your face morphed into a sad smile. “Channie, you know that love doesn’t present itself right off the bat, right? If I don’t even get to try, is that really living life to the fullest? I want YOU to date. I want YOU to have a special intimacy with someone. I want YOU to have someone so you don’t feel lonely anymore. I’m not sure if what you have with that one girl is serious, but I have the same fears for you. I don’t want you to get hurt. But even if you do, that is part of the risk of finding someone better.” 

He chuckled under his breath. “It’s times like these where you show that you really are the noona and not the little sis that I treat you like…”

No shit. You smiled at him with the kind of love a mother would give to her child. “So will you tone it down?”

“...I will... try… but please - for the love of god - don’t choose one of our friends. I absolutely love them, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable thinking about any of them…” He shivered in disgust. “...doing… things to you.”

You froze, limbs going stiff and face dropping to a frown. Luckily he was focused on snacking and not your reaction. The ‘things’ that you were wanting to do to Minho flashed through your mind and you knew for sure that Chan would murder him if he ever found out.

You sat there in silence and sadness, but Chan leaned over and hugged you warmly. “I am glad we had this talk, Y/N. I felt awful that we were at odds. I love you so much.” You briefly relaxed and hugged him back.

“I love you too, Channie.” You stared over his shoulder blankly while wrapped in his arms. Now you knew you really had to hide the fact that you and Minho were a thing. A thing? I mean what are we really? You couldn’t help but ponder to yourself, ruminating over the fact that there may or may not be something concrete between the two of you, but you didn’t know what to call it.

When the two of you were ready for bed, you agreed to snuggle that night. The way that you were used to doing growing up when his insomnia was at its worst. He always said it helped him sleep and you definitely felt like he needed the assistance that night.

He laid a kiss on your head as he took over the position of big spoon. “Night, Kiyomi. Love you.”

“Nighty night Channie.” You stared into the darkness and battled with your own thoughts. How am I ever going to tell Chan about Minho?

Needless to say, you didn’t get much sleep that night.

- - - - - - - - - -

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

R u and Chan-hyung all good?

Little Mouse🐭😘:

Thankfully, yes 🙌🏼 

But, um…

Kinda have bad news too…

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

😳 Uh oh

At least ur still breathing

I assume

But do tell

Little Mouse🐭😘:

U free tomorrow?

I don’t have to work tomorrow since it’s a Sunday

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

Hmm 🤔 I’ll have to check my schedule

But I think I can fit u in 😉

Little Mouse🐭😘:

Wow. I’m so touched 🙄

I’m spending a lot of the day w/ Chan

U know, reconciliation and shit

So I’ll probs be there around 7pm

Cool? 👍🏼

 

Minnie🐱🔥💋:

I’ll be waiting 😘

You were nervous and excited that morning. Nervous to tell Minho the uncomfortable news, but excited to spend the day with your best friend and your… ‘Man? Lover?’... whatever Minho was to you - that night.

The day with Chan was spent going to Lotte World. You had never been to an amusement park and Chan was as giddy as a school girl to get to show you around. You had decided that you love roller coasters. The thrill of it gave you tingles in your nerves that made you feel like you were flying. Much like the feeling of riding the motorcycle with Minho.

Chan went all out in giving you the full experience. You were not sure how he possibly could have wracked up that kind of money from his ordinary fitness trainer job, but he sure spoiled you nonetheless. Popcorn, cotton candy, ginormous soft pretzels, hot dogs, and ice cream. That’s not including all of the random carnival games where he won you a mountain of plushies. The most impressive was when he won you a cat stuffed animal that was as tall as a fully grown man when he hammered the high striker.

You couldn’t believe the sights and sounds of laughter and fun that filled the air. You felt like a kid again and Chan was with you through all of it. You looked over at your self proclaimed brother and laughed as he fumbled with all of the plushies. When you reached Felix’s car - that you guys borrowed - and he sat down all of the fluffy toys, you hugged him tightly with a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, Channie. You are the greatest man I’ve ever met. You take care of me so well.” He hugged you back impossibly tighter.

“Love you, big sis. You deserve all of the happiness in the world.” You smile and your heart swelled with your love for this man. 

When you got home, you helped him dump all of the plushies onto your bed. You weren’t sure if you should tell him that you were going to Minho’s. Chan was already uneasy with the two of your guys’ relationship and you didn’t want to stoke the fire.

“Hey, Chan. I have some friends that are needing tutoring in calculus tonight and I was going to go help them at one of their house’s.” You felt slightly guilty for the lie, but you knew the risk of telling him the truth.

He gave you a flabbergasted face. “Kiyomi, you absolutely suck at calculus.” He looked so confused and his face twisted extremely crooked. 

Shit, he’s right. I should have picked a different class. You thought you could play it off, but it didn’t even sound convincing to you. “Yeah, tell me about it. I told them that too, but they insisted.”

He slowly nodded his head. “Okay well, be careful and let me know when you get there and let me know when you are headed back, okay?”

You chuckled at his fatherly instincts. “Yes, sir!” You raised your hand to your forehead and sarcastically saluted him, earning a small scoff.

Before you left, you snuck a tiny kitten plushie with you out of the door.

- - - - - - - - - -

You texted Chan to notify of your arrival as you stood outside of Minho’s apartment door. You didn’t know why your nerves were going haywire. You had already stayed there before. Maybe it was because you two weren’t together before? Were you two together? Anyway, let’s get on with it.

Your knuckles rapped on the door panel and almost instantly you see the ethereal being that was Lee Minho standing on the other side of the threshold. All you could muster was a breathless “Hi” as you stepped into his entryway. Once he closed the door behind you, he wrapped his arms around your waist against you in a back hug as you took off your shoes.

“Well hello, little mouse. Fancy meeting you here.” You turned around in his arms to face his smoldering eyes.

“I figured it was a nice spot to chill.” He smirked at you and you could see him lean in for a kiss.

You decided that you wanted him to earn it. Before he could touch down on your lips, you pulled the plushie out from behind you and held it to his face. He looked shocked as he leaned back, unhooking his arms from you. He almost looked hurt from the obtrusion of his advances.

“What the hell is that?” 

“It’s you!” You smiled triumphantly as you held the cat up to his face. “I got it for you! That way you have a little mini Minho to keep you company.”

“Awww” He pinched your cheek. “What a sweet little mouse.” You pierced your lips together and swatted his hand away.

“Well then, I guess if you don’t want it, I can always give it to Ji…” You pulled it away but he snatched it from you quickly and walked away with a grumble. As you followed him, you see that he had placed it on the center of the island in his kitchen.

“There, now I get to see it every morning when I eat breakfast.” He turned around and smiled mockingly down at you. You felt giddy with the way he looked at you, feeling as if you were lucky to even be in the same presence as this man, let alone having intimate encounters with him. You turned around to hide your blushing smile and walked over to plop down on the couch. Not even a second after, the man sat down next to you with his legs crossed, fully facing you. “So what’s the news? No more brownies before bedtime? He needs to walk you home from school?”

His smirk earned an unamused expression from you. “Wow, you’re a true comedian, you know that?”

He simply shrugged. “Maybe I should change jobs.”

The seriousness of this man is severely limited. “I think you’re better at dancing.” You patronizingly patted his shoulder. “No, but Chan and I have restored harmony, which was the biggest relief I’ve ever felt before in my life…” He nodded, but you looked at him hesitantly. “...and he’s okay with me seeing people…” Minho’s face lit up like a damned Christmas tree and your heart sank. “...but… he said he doesn’t want it to be anyone from our circle…”

You deflated when you had to witness his face drop. “W-what? Why?”

You sighed in frustration. “The fuck if I know. Something about him not wanting any of you guys doing ‘things’ to me.” You raised your eyes to the ceiling and then dropped your face into your hands.

“So, is that it? We can’t see each other?” You whipped your head up to look at his frustrated face and you were sure you looked like a terrified puppy as you grabbed onto the hand that was resting on his lap.

“W-well, not necessarily… we just might need to… I dunno, keep it on the down low?”

He held your hand in return. “Well… as much as I would hate to keep you a secret… I suppose it’s better than nothing.” You two sat in comfortable silence for a moment and Minho seemed to be contemplating something. You couldn’t keep your eyes away from his beautiful face, fearing that he was considering that it might not be worth the trouble. That is until he looked up at you with a smirk on his face. “Sooo…” He leaned in a little closer from his spot next to you. “Care to elaborate on the ‘things’ Chan-hyung was worried about?”

You felt the blood rush to your face and nervousness swirl around in your gut. You definitely never anticipated this is where the conversation was going to go, but, hell, no complaints from your end. “Care to take a guess?” You feigned your confidence when, in reality, you felt like you were going to pass out from anxiousness.

“I might have a few things in mind…” He whispered against your lips, suddenly right in front of your face. You felt your resolve crumble as he pressed his lips to yours. A teeny tiny sliver of your subconscious whispered to you that you were betraying Chan, but it was nothing compared to the burning hot desire you were currently feeling.

You basically jumped him as you threw your arms around his neck, making him chuckle as he almost fell back against the arm of the couch from your impact. You wasted no time in coaxing him to let you explore his mouth, which he did so eagerly. You’d never tasted anything more addicting than Minho, hinting at a bit of dark chocolate and citrus.

Your upper body leaned against him, while your lower body remained respectfully seated on the couch. You ran your hands through his hair and under the hem of the collar of his shirt while one of his hands claimed purchase around your waist and the other was rubbing up and down your thigh. And my god did it feel heavenly. He repositioned his crossed legs to halfway sit on the sofa proper while his left leg folded underneath him to lean in closer.

His tongue was extremely experienced and you were sure you were currently soaking in your panties from the intensity of the situation. You decided to take matters into your own hands as you pulled him down on top of you, slotting him in between your legs. You couldn’t help but moan into his mouth when you felt the effect you had on him through his tightening pants.

“God, you’re so sexy.” He whispered as his lips moved to nip at your ear. Your body moved on its own as you grinded up against him, seeking the sweet friction from his body. The sound of heavy panting filled the room and the hands that were currently on your hips slipped down to grab underneath your thighs, lifting them slightly so he could press even closer to you.

You whimpered as he grinded down on you with his mouth sucking on your pulse. You wrapped your legs around him and pulled him impossibly close. You almost felt desperate for more of his touch. You were new to this but all your instincts could think about was feeling him all over.

While your legs were wrapped around him, one of his hands moved from your thigh up to the hem of your shirt, teasing with it to silently ask permission. “Minho, if you don’t touch me right now I think I will actually combust.” You felt his smile against your neck and he roughly grabbed your shirt, leaning back to shuck it off your body.

You slightly felt embarrassed as he intensely looked down at your body, running his hands over your sides and protruding ribs. You could've sworn for half a second you saw a sad smile cross his features, but then he licked his bottom lip as he slid his hands to cup over your bra. You silently praised Felix for the black, lace bra he provided you with. “You're so goddamned beautiful, Y/N…”

You didn’t expect it when he laid himself on top of you again, switching his movements against your lips to a slow, intimate kiss. Your body melted on the spot and decidedly resolved yourself to allow this man to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to you. Your heart was pounding as you two gently moved your tongues together in a delicate dance, his hands massaging your breasts all the while.

You arched your back as he wrapped his arms around you to allow him to remove your bra, much more controlled than the last time you two fooled around on this couch. He wasted no time in throwing the lacy fabric to the side and running his palms across your bare breasts. No man had ever touched you under your clothes (not welcomed hands anyway) and you felt as if you were hyperventilating.

He flicked his thumbs over your sensitive, pink buds and you couldn’t sustain the squeak that escaped your mouth. “Hmmm, I like to hear my little mouse make those sweet noises.” You were sure your whole body was flushed as he moved his open-mouthed kisses down your chest. You felt another wave of pleasure pulse through your groin as he took your nipple into his mouth and sucked  hard .

You whined as he moved from one nipple to the other as to not neglect the other from his abuse. All you could do was lay there in suspense as he continued the journey of his lips down to your navel, the absence of his hard erection making you whine. “Oh, god, Minnie…” He thumbed at your clit through your jeans and you immediately took matters into your own hands. “Bedroom, now.”

With that, he swiftly lifted you from the couch (Damn, he’s strong) and shuffled to the bedroom to gently lay you down on the bed, quickly pulling off his shirt like a damn porn star and making his dark hair fluff from the friction. You giggled as he pounced on you and peppered kisses all over your face, eventually landing his lips on yours. It was hungry this time, pressing into your mouth furiously.

His hand snaked down to your navel and eventually popped open the button on your jeans. You were almost scared of what was to come, not knowing what to expect with another person’s hands on you. Well… hands that you actually wanted on you. However, this fear was quelled as he reached in and massaged your clit over your panties. Your eyes fluttered closed and you threw your head back with a loud moan, running your hands over his soft, toned chest in an attempt to gain purchase on something to ground yourself.

His mouth moved back down to flick his tongue over your nipples. “You’re so soft, baby.” He gently nibbled the swollen bud and you almost drew blood as you bit your lip. You lifted your hips as he peeled off your skinny jeans and he propped himself up on his knees between your legs. His eyes refused to leave yours as he slid his hands up the inside of your thighs. You were visibly quivering and you were embarrassed of the effect he had on you. 

He smiled down fondly at you. “Don’t be afraid, darling.” He moved one of his hands to caress your cheek. “I’ll take excellent care of you.”

You were speechless as you just nodded at him. He returned to your aching sex and lowered his body to kiss your inner thigh. “Holy fuck…” You breathed in a whimpered tone. You were immediately praising yourself for keeping yourself neatly groomed down there every day. You could feel his cheeky grin on your skin as he slid his tongue further up your thigh. His face hovered over the black lace that matched your bra and he stared directly into your soul with fire in his eyes. Never breaking eye contact, he closed his wet mouth over your clit through your panties and you felt like you died and went to heaven.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your body couldn’t help but squirm from the delicious new sensation. He grabbed your hips to keep you still and your already soaked panties got even wetter as his saliva seeped through the fabric he was sucking on. Surely - with how you were bugging out like a teenager - he knew that you’d never done this before, right?

Your breathing picked up to hyperventilation mode as he thumbed at the hem of your panties. His mouth left your bliss button and you huffed in frustration. He chuckled and raised his body back up to whisper in your ear, grinding his bulge down on you all the while. “Calm down, little mouse. I don’t want you passing out before I’ve even started.” He pecked an open-mouthed kiss under your ear and sat back up to continue his previous ministrations.

He looked hesitant as he looped his index fingers through your panties, looking in your eyes for approval. “Please…” you whispered. And that's all he needed to swiftly slide your panties off your legs. You were completely naked and vulnerable in front of this man, but you didn’t feel scared of being touched. Not like last time…

He plunged down in between your legs and latched his mouth onto your bare, sensitive pearl, swirling his tongue around and making you whimper like a puppy. Grabbing onto your wiggling hips again, his mouth closed over your clit, he sucked hard . And goddamn was he a fucking god at this. You never thought anything could feel this good.

That was until his mouth moved down. Your knuckles were completely white as they gripped onto the sheets. He had traveled his tongue down to the base of your folds and licked up between them, ending the journey with a flick of your clit. You couldn’t hold back the cry that breached your lips. His tongue then plunged in between your slick lips and ate you out as if it were his last meal.

Your hands instinctively laced through his silky blue locks and lightly tugged on them, not pulling him away, but more to coax him for more. He received the memo and quickly looped his arms underneath your legs, using his pure strength to lift your pelvis to gain a better angle. “Fuck… shit… Oh god, Min! – ah!” One of his arms released your leg and guided his middle finger to join his tongue inside you. You could almost cry from the pleasure he was giving you.

You grinded down on him and he finally relented the attack with his mouth. He kept his finger inside you, slowly probing in and out as he moved back up to hover over you. “You taste so delicious, little mouse. So fucking good for me.” You desperately pulled him down for a kiss, tongues wrestling and you tasted yourself on his lips.

You whined into his mouth when you felt his index finger slide in next to the one already torturing you. You threw your head back, disconnecting your lips, when you felt him curl his fingers up and press against your sweet bundle of nerves that threw you into pure ecstasy.

He quickened his pace and you thrashed your body around, whining from the extreme intensity. He grabbed your arm with his unoccupied hand and pinned it to your side to lessen your movement. He latched his tongue to your clit again and it was too much to handle. “M-Minnie! I– I…” You felt waves crash over you as you released the tightness in your core, soaking the man’s face and sheets in the process.

“There we go, darling…” He left a sweet kiss on your inner thigh as he sat up to assess the damage. You closed your legs in shame, embarrassed of the mess you made. He looked up into your eyes with a sweet smile, putting his hands on your knees in the process, spreading them again. “Oh baby. That is so fucking HOT, you drive me crazy, baby.”

You felt your core heating up again, unable to get enough of this unreal human. You lunged up at him and tugged on his belt, slipping it out of his loops and undoing his jeans, loosening the tightness from his erection. Your eyes bulged out of your head when he pulled his pants down, displaying the ginormous tent in his boxers. The shakiness returned to your body tenfold.

You were terrified of your inexperience, afraid that you would humiliate yourself. You scooted closer to the edge of the bed and put your hands on his hips, eyes never moving from his painful looking erection. He stood there patiently, awaiting your next move. You hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided he deserved to know. “I– I’ve never done this before… you might need to help me…”

You could feel him tense up under your hands and you looked up at his face in apprehension. “Wait... are you a virgin?” You lowered your hands to your lap and looked down at them with a red face.

“Oh… O-oh shit!” He stepped away from you in a rush and pulled his pants back on at light speed.

You felt your heart sink and your head fill with desperation and doubt. “Min?” 

He scratched the back of his neck once his pants were fully on. “Y/N… I… I don’t know if I can do that…”

You felt the tell-tale signs of your stupid angry tears prick at your eyes. “You can't do what exactly?” You tried to control yourself, but your statement came off as extremely pissy.

He frustratingly ran his hand through his hair. “That’s… that’s a special kind of thing, Y/N… I can’t–”

“It’s so special that your dick won’t work?” You cut him off as you stood up and crossed your arms over your chest, feeling humiliated and exposed in your bare state. You began to pull up your soiled panties and jeans to at least feel a little bit of security. 

“That’s not it, babe–”

“You’re afraid to steal my ‘virtue’ or what the fuck ever? Well, news flash, I’ve lost that in about every other category.” You realized you were yelling now, staring daggers into him.

His scowl didn’t make you feel any better. “You don’t get it, Y/N. That kind of thing is not something that–”

Why the fuck did everyone judge your lack of ‘experience’? I’m not a goddamned child. You interrupted him again, not wanting to hear anymore. “Save it, Minho. You sound just like Chan! I thought you…” You cursed yourself for the unexpected tear that rolled down your cheek. You saw his face fall, but you were determined to stand your ground. “...I thought you wanted me…” You looked down at the ground and closed your eyes, your face twisted in anger. You didn’t want to face him anymore in you humiliated state. “But whatever, forget it. At this point, I’ll just stay a virgin forever. Or maybe I should just find someone with the balls to actually fuck me!”

You knew you didn’t mean it, but the rage that blinded you didn’t care. All you wanted to do was escape. And that’s exactly what you did. You marched into the living room to reattach your bra and pull your shirt over your head, immediately heading for the door with Minho close behind.

“Babe, please don’t leave…” He tried to grab your hand as you put your shoes on, but you yanked it out of his grasp.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me! Just…” The tears were streaming down your face and the woman you thought was strong, ended up to be just an emotional bitch baby. Just like you had been ever since you had stepped foot into this god forsaken country. “...just…” You gasped for air through your sobs, not knowing what to say in your anger. “...just fuck off, Minho…” You hastily turned and slammed the door in his face.

You skipped the classes you specifically shared with Minho on Monday and Tuesday, picking up an extra shift at work on Monday evening to drown your thoughts.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were balled up in your blankets as Chan walked in to bring you another plate of food on Tuesday, switching it out with the previous uneaten one in its place. “Kiyomi… please eat… I know you are feeling sick, but you aren’t eating enough on any given day already. I’m worried about you, hun.”

You stuffed your face into your pillow and mumbled back to him. “I’m sorry, Channie… I’ll try…” You knew you wouldn’t, but at least you could give him hope.

He caressed your hair with his face downturned in worry. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m praying for you to get better soon.” You smiled into your pillow and felt the black fog of sleep engulf you as he caressed his fingers through your hair. Chan is all I’ll ever need to make me happy, even if that means I’ll never have a real relationship with someone... These were the last thoughts that ran through your head as you drifted off into dreamland.

- - - - - - - - - -

You slowly regained consciousness and smiled again as you felt fingers still carding its way through your hair. You opened your eyes to look up at your best friend and almost jumped out of your skin when you saw another man. You had apparently jumped to the other side of the bed as you sat face to face with the man of your desires and heartache.

There was a moment of silence where the two of you searched each other's eyes, looking for some sort of explanation. “What the fuck are you doing here, Min?”

He looked down at his fiddling hands. “Um… tutoring? It is Tuesday, right?”

You scoffed and images of his rejection on Sunday ran through your mind. “Did I get lost in translation the other night? I specifically remember telling you to fuck off. Obviously you didn’t understand that included your company on tutoring days.” You crossed your arms and refused to look him in the eye.

“Y/N, please let me explain.”

“I think it’s crystal clear, Min. You are too much of a pussy to take my virginity. A concept that means nothing to me, by the way. Especially with the way I almost lost it last time…” You felt the prickling in your eyes of your potential tear ducts acting up and you tightly closed your eyes to hold them back.

“It’s not that it’s–” You peeked over at him sitting on your bed when he cut himself off mid sentence. “What do you mean ‘the way you almost lost it’?”

You kicked yourself for letting that slip. “Nothing, forget it.” You crossed your arms and faced away from him. He probably wouldn’t give a fuck anyway.

You felt a gentle hand rest on your knee and you almost broke down. “I know I might not be the most serious person in most situations, but please know that you can talk to me… I… I really like you, Y/N… the thought of you finding someone else to do that to you… it drives me crazy.”

You faced him and you were sure he could see your glossed over eyes that threatened to spill over. You hesitated, but after a moment of silence your hand naturally gravitated to hold the hand that was on your knee, intertwining your fingers and feeling his strong hand squeeze yours. You hadn’t realized how much you had missed touching him only in the span of a couple days.

“I… I didn’t really mean it, Min. I was just angry… I’d rather just forget about it…”

His face was downcast and his eyes were zoned out on your intertwined hands. “I feel like I know nothing about you, Kiyomi… I wish you wouldn’t hide from me…”

You looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to avoid your tears from falling. “It’s not that I want to hide from you, Minnie… I just have an ugly past. You wouldn’t look at me the same. Chan is the only one who helped me through it and the only one who has never judged me.” You looked down with a sad smile.

“Y/N…” You dared to look him in the eyes. “I want to be with you. I want to call you mine and have the honor to be called yours. I want to scream from the rooftops of how lucky I am to have you with me. I want to take you on dates and cuddle you when you’re sad. I don’t want to…” He looked down, considering the weight of his words. “...I don’t want to just fuck you, Kiyomi… I want to make love to you… but only when that time comes. You deserve your first time to be the best experience possible. Because you deserve to be happy, Y/N.” 

You didn’t know when you had started crying, but you only realized when he wiped away a stray tear from your cheek. “I’m not blind, little mouse. I know you have had some sort of shit happen to you… I can see it…” He freed his hand from your grasp so he could take both sides of your face in his hands, kissing your forehead gently. “If you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to. But I would really like to know what’s going through your pretty little head when you fret over these things.”

He wanted to be with you, not only as a lover or a friend, but something far more intimate. You almost couldn’t process all of the words that were thrown at you, but as you cleared your mind of the fog of anger it once held, you found pure affection took its place. He was right, if you wanted this man, really wanted him (and you did) he deserved to know the truth.

- - - - - - - - - -

You looked down at the scrap of paper that had small lettering with shit handwriting of an address on it and looked up at the faded numbered door of a seedy motel, hoping the address was correct so you could get the fuck on with it. You briefly felt down to your boot, ensuring that your switchblade was secure inside your tight sock. 

The late autumn wind whipped around you and through your hair, causing you to shiver and grow goosebumps up your bare arms. Your jacket, admittedly the only jacket you had, had been ruined when your mom dropped the embers of a couple lit cigarettes and an ashtray on it, burning through the material. You should have at least worn long sleeves, but there was no point in ruminating on it now. The best thing you could do now was to get this over and done with.

You rapped on the door with your knuckle systematically and saw the blinds of the window next to you part slightly, inspecting who the visitor was. You rolled your eyes as the figure left. Do they seriously have to be so sketchy about it? As you waited for the man to open the door, you heard muffled voices on the other side of the teal, paint chipped door.

Once the door opened, you were quickly ushered to enter the room. “Ah, nice to see you again, Y/N! How are mom and pop?” The overweight man sitting next to a crappy table in the corner of the room shined a yellow, toothy grin at you. The two men who ushered you in the door retreated to resume their places on opposite corners of the room, one lighting the foul stench of a cigarette, the other scrolling through his phone.

“Can we please skip the pleasantries? I have school in the morning and I’d rather not chit chat.” You tossed the McDonald’s paper sack down on the bed, one of the lackeys grabbing it to inspect the contents. You watched as the man poked his pinky finger in the white substance and smeared it on the inner side of his lip, smacking his tongue to distinguish the taste.

“That’s it, boss. A full kilo.” You outstretched your palm to receive the roll of money that was sitting on the table next to a full syringe and a line of cocaine. Of course they aren’t satisfied with just one. The man stood up from his place next to the table and stepped towards you, making your fight or flight instincts flare up.

“Do you really have to leave so early? The night is young, little girl! At least stay for a drink.” He held up his lowball glass of brown liquor, making the contents slosh and the ice clink against the edges of it's containment. Your face twisted into one of disgust at his proposition.

“I’m good, thanks. Just give me the money and I’ll be out of your hair.” He huffed as he turned to grab the wad of cash, presenting it to you. As you went to claim it from him, he pulled it back.

“I think you could earn a little extra, kitten.” He licked his chapped lips and looked you up and down.

“Thanks but no thanks.” You tried to reach for it again, but he pulled it back further, making you lean closer to him. You stood back to your previous position and huffed. “Don, seriously? I don’t have time for this shit. Can you please just pay me so I can go?” You held out your hand expectantly once again.

Finally, he dropped the bundle into your hand and you grasped it firmly. You started to walk away, but when you turned around, your fear froze you on the spot as you watched one of the useless assholes pulling the chain over the lock on the door. 

There had been a couple of deals before where the recipient tried to hold you back, but they were easy enough to handle. Because you were a young, skinny girl, many thought you were a scared baby lamb. They were wrong.

You turned around with a blistering glare. “Don, what the fuck?! Let me out of here! You got your fix, you don’t need me anymore.”

“Oh, on the contrary, love. I think you have far better uses.” With that, the two men grabbed each of your arms, pulling you over to the bed and pinning you to it on each side. You cursed yourself for not watching your own back. The one that was smoking held up his cigarette to your neck and pressed the embers deep into your skin, making you scream in pain. The searing white pain fogged your eyes and fuzzed your mind.

When you regained composure, horror filled your veins as the fat man started unbuckling his belt and pulled down his pants and underwear in one go, showing his erect dick underneath bundles of fat. Sick motherfucking piece of cow shit.

Without even a second thought, your self defense instincts kicked in and you twisted your body in the men's firm grasps and wrapped your legs around the neck of the man on your left, making him relinquish his grasp on you as he tried to pry your thighs from his throat, choking and gargling on his spit all the while. You didn’t have much time before the other two men reacted, the larger of the two tripping over the pants around his legs and falling to the ground (fucking dumbass). And the man holding your other arm refused to loosen his grasp as you clung onto the other’s neck with your thighs for dear life.

The other man tried to pull you away, pulling your arm and twisting. You heard a pop and a grind in your shoulder followed by another yelp from your mouth from the pain, but you used the advantage of now having a free hand to punch his throat with all the strength you had in you. The man’s eyes bulged out of his head as he grabbed his throat with both hands, most likely having his esophagus collapsed. With both of your hands now free, you lunged over the bed to chase your escape, grabbing the money off the floor in the process and popping your shoulder back into its socket.

Both lackeys were clinging onto their throats in attempts to regain oxygen and the hefty man was rolling around on the floor, suddenly grabbing your ankle and pulling you backwards. Your body moved on its own as you reached down into your boot and flicked open the blade. You pulled back with a swift move and plunged the knife down. You heard a high pitched scream as you saw the sharp metal pierce straight through the middle of his hand, going all the way through and ripping through the tendons and veins there.

The hand that had held you captive retracted at light speed as he cradled it in his chest, whimpering like a baby. When you turned around, your terrified fingers trembled as you stumbled to slide the chain out from the lock with one arm, the other loosely hanging at your side. The pain in your shoulder would have to wait to be assessed at another time, because all the adrenaline worked towards one goal. Getting the FUCK out of there.

Luckily, you finally got out of the door just in time as you could hear Don yell ‘go get the bitch’ to his lackeys. You didn’t even hesitate to redirect your normal route to the bus stop, instead opting to round the corner of the motel and sprint through the back alleys of the area to sprint 3 miles to Chan’s.

- - - - - - - - - -

You sat in the dimly lit shed - and personal hang out spot - in Chan’s backyard and inspected your bruised knuckles from smashing that guy’s throat in. You felt yourself beyond lucky to make it out of there with only a few minor injuries. Your fingers fiddled with the loose strings on the bean bag’s covering that you sat on in the semi-decorated shed, making it seem a bit more homey.

Finally, Chan’s scowled face returned with a first aid kit and frozen peas in each of his hands, tucking one under the other arm to lock the latch of the door behind him. “You should just come inside so we can properly wash it.” He handed you the two bags of peas, one to place on your throbbing hand, and the other on your shoulder. 

He helped you as you flung a makeshift sling around your neck and secured it under your fucked up arm. He then opened the first aid kit on the small end table in between you and the other bean bag he sat in. 

“And let your parents see me in this state? No fucking way.” You winced as he pressed an alcohol swab against the ringed burn on your neck. The furious look on your best friend’s face refused to let up.

“I’m going to call the cops.” He didn’t look you in the eyes as he muttered the words.

You pulled away from his helping hands and glared at him. “Like hell you are! I wouldn’t have come to you if I were looking to get hunted down by drug dealers for narking. I’d just go home and suck it the fuck up.”

He just returned your glare and grabbed the back of your neck forcefully, continuing his aid with his other hand while he held you still. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Kiyomi…” He turned to grab the antibacterial ointment. “You’re…” You felt a pang in your chest as you saw his eyes water. “You’re going to get yourself killed…”

You took the bruised hand of your uninjured arm and raised it to his face. “That won’t happen, Channie. I’ve survived so far, yeah?” You dipped your head over to try and catch his fallen gaze. “Besides, I can’t leave my little pup to fend for himself.” You pinched the cheek where your hand was laid and he attempted to suppress his smile as he pulled away from your grasp.

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he lifted the swab of cream to your neck. He stayed silent though as he finished bandaging you. After he closed the kit, he patted your knee. “All done, sweetheart. Let’s go to bed, kay?”

You shook your head as you stood up. “No can do, love. I gotta get back home with this money before my dad has an aneurysm.”

“Would that be so bad?” He muttered bitterly. You panned over to him with an unamused face. “I can’t believe you keep going back to that shithole! Can’t you just come live with us?”

You scoffed and dropped your eyes to the ground. “Yeah, if you want them to come find me and harm not only me, but you and your entire family as well. It’s already been risky enough trying to keep you a secret from them…”

You felt his arms wrap around you and you buried your face in his shoulder. “I hate this, Y/N. I just want you to finally be free… safe.”

You deflated before you pulled back from him, trying to put on the most unaffected face you could muster. “Don’t worry about me, Channie. I’ve made it this far. I’ll be able to protect myself until I can save enough money to move out after graduation.” You offered him a sweet smile, which he halfheartedly returned. “Now, I have to get back before it gets too late. I don’t want them to come searching for me. You placed a peck on his cheek and showed yourself out of your tiny safe haven.

- - - - - - - - - -

You felt your skull crack against the cheap, hard linoleum flooring in the kitchen as your dad stood over you, your mom burning down the embers of a cigarette furiously in anxiety and talking on the phone a few feet away on the couch. “How THE FUCK could you lose us Don, one of our best buyers?!” You felt the breath leave your lungs as he landed a harsh kick against your ribcage.

You didn’t cry, you couldn’t. Your mind retreated elsewhere while your body laid there and awaited the end. “All for what?! Your stupid fucking pride?! If one of our buyers wants something, you do it, NO QUESTIONS ASKED!” Another kick.

“I know Don, we are taking care of the problem, just hear me out–” You faintly heard your mother trying to reason with the monster on the other side of the phone.

“If you can’t keep up with a stupid, fucking simple task, what good are you?!” A punch to the face this time, blinding your vision as you curled in on yourself on the ground. “You’re only taking up space here, so you’d better start pulling your goddamned weight!”

The anger that was boiling inside you released in a small snap. “He tried to fucking rape me dad! What was I supposed to do?!” He punched the side of your jaw, making you spit out a tooth and taste a disgusting flow of iron flowing from its place.

“If someone wants you to spread your legs, you tell them to pay up and then say WELCOME TO FUCKING POUND TOWN! Hell, it’s more revenue and a better use of your useless cunt anyway!” 

Your mother had ended her call and shouted over her shoulder. “He won’t fucking get over it! We lost him!” She slammed the bedroom door.

Your father’s face couldn’t get any more red. One, two, three more punches. You could feel the ring on his fingers denting and gashing into the bone and flesh on your face. You saw more and more blood build on his fist each time he pulled back. You could hardly believe it was coming from your body due to the amount of pain nearing the sense of numbness.

It was almost as if your soul had left your body, leaving nothing but a bloodied stick figure in its wake. Pain and acceptance was a dichotomy that was slowly blurring lines. Somehow, you were numb to the point of acceptance, but you were hyper aware of the feeling of every centimeter of your body. Your toes were scrunched up where they laid on the cheap linoleum. Your hands were balled in fists on your abdomen, attempting to protect your damaged ribcage, completely ignoring the pain that was already wrecking your shoulder. Your back was hunched into a ball like a fucking abused dog. And your face… you could feel the disfigurement increasing with every swing of his fist.

Once he stopped, heaving from his anger and effort, he spat down on your bloody and bruised body. “Find somewhere else to sleep tonight, bitch. I want you out of my sight.” With that, he turned and slammed his bedroom door behind him.

You laid there for a good ten minutes, uncontrollably shaking as you failed to get up. You were sure that one of your ribs was broken and you knew your nose was broken. When you finally came to, you limped your way over to the bathroom and examined yourself in the mirror.

The sight was grizzly, the entire left side of your face was flushed and swollen. You had a black eye that was swollen shut and cuts all over your cheek, jaw, and brow bones. The worst coming from your high cheek bone where you could feel the indentation underneath the skin into the hard surface of bone under the heavy flow of blood. 

Blood gushed out of your nose and you decided to bite the bullet. Picking up a nasty ass washrag from the floor, you shoved it in your mouth and bit down on it. With no small amount of hesitation, you counted to yourself. One, two, THREE . You heard a loud crunch as you snapped your nose back into place, blood gushing all the more into the washrag and sink as you removed the soiled cloth from your mouth.

You decided to bring the rag with you to hold up to your bleeding nose as you grabbed your rucksack and headed out of the apartment and into the brisk autumn weather. You definitely didn’t want to be present if your father had caught you still hanging around. It was about three in the morning when you had finally limped all the way to Chan’s house. You really didn’t want to call upon him twice in the same night, so you snuck around to the backyard and pulled a small key out of one of the pockets in your pack.

You snuck into the shed and locked it behind you, finally collapsing on the rug that adorned the decorated space. You laid there for no more than a minute before your vision turned to black.

- - - - - - - - - -

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, Y/N!!!” You awakened from your haze, sore and out of breath with the taste of blood still lingering on your tongue. Your vision was blurry at first when you opened your eyes, but eventually Chan came into view, on the ground next to you and tears streaming down his face. Your heart broke at the sight of your friend hurting. You tried to sit up to comfort him, but the pain racking from your ribs threw you back down with a thud and a whimper. He reached out towards you, but pulled back as if you were going to break if he touched you. “No no no, Y/N, why?! Why??? ”

You turned your head and tried to smile at him to quell his worries, but the smile only met half your face as the other half is still too fucked up. “Hey baby Channie…” Your voice sounded gurgled and rugged coming from your mouth. Funny, you wanted to ease his concern, but you probably just made it worse with how you sounded. You chuckled from the irony, making you cough up blood.

He reached toward you with tremored hands and a shaky breath. “I’ll take care of you, baby girl... I– I’ll fix this… I’ll fix this…” He sobbed into your hand he was holding and pulled out his phone with the other. You already knew what was going to happen. He was going to call the hospital - or worse, the police - and you would be utterly fucked if anyone found out. You weakly put your hand over his phone, making him look back at you with his blurry eyes.

“Channie… it’s okay… I’m okay, really.” You attempted a smile again.

“Bull fucking shit, Y/N! I LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” He instantly regretted his words when you flinched from his anger. The tears refused to subside from his eyes as he gently caressed the less harmed side of your face with his fingertips. “I looked everywhere for you, sweetheart…”

You were utterly confused. “What do you mean, how long have I been out?”

He sobbed. “It’s fucking Wednesday, Kiyomi! I haven’t seen or heard from you since Sunday night!” You felt like you were hit by a truck with this news. You desperately tried to raise yourself from the floor, clenching your teeth through the pain. You felt as if you had face-planted down a flight of stairs while fighting a hangover. Your head rang and the world spinned on a top.

“Holy fuck, my parents are going to think I bounced on them. Fuck!” You fumbled around to get up from the ground, struggling to breathe, but Chan firmly held you down.

“NO.” Chan looked murderous when you looked up at him in frustration.

“Chan. You don’t get it. It’s one thing to be kicked out for a night or two, but the last time I stayed out longer than that, mom had locked me in the bathroom with nothing to eat for two days. I have to leave.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! Tell your dad or who the fuck ever that you are staying away, at least until you’re healed. I– I–” The sobs plummeted out of his body and you gritted your teeth as you sat up to hold him. “Please. Please, Y/N! Don’t go back. I can’t lose you…” He wrapped his arms tighter and you cried out from the pain that shot through your diaphragm and shoulder.

You instinctively clutched your sternum and doubled over, eventually falling backwards again against the ground, knocking the wind out of you. His eyes looked horrified as he gently placed his hands on your arms. “Kiyomi, w-what–?” He grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up without warning. You weren’t necessarily uncomfortable with it, you trusted him more than anything in this world. But you were afraid of what he would find underneath.

Sure enough, Black and blue bruises were blotched all over your exposed, protruding rib cage, an angry red surrounding it all. The man had fire in his eyes, shaking from ferociousness and most likely homicidal thoughts. “Fuck this, I’m taking you to the hospital.” He wrapped his arms around you, one under your back and the other underneath your knees, carrying you like a baby toward the shed door.

You screamed out in pain and the only indicative response that he was hurting to hear you like that was the slight hesitation in his step and the agony on his face. “CHAN PUT ME DOWN!”

“NO!” He yelled back through his tears.

“CHAN IF YOU DON’T PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW I’M NEVER COMING BACK!”

That made him freeze in his tracks. “W-what?” He looked down at your balled up form with saucers for eyes. “Y-you don’t mean that…”

“If you expose me, you won’t ever see or hear from me again. There is no way I could keep you and your family safe with ties like that to link my life back to you.” You were killing yourself to say the words, but your face remained fierce. Well, as fierce as it could be in its debauched state.

He turned back and gently laid you flat against the carpet again. You breathed a sigh of relief, wincing from the action momentarily. “Thank you Channie. I’ll… I’ll call mom and tell her that I need to lay low until I heal so the school doesn’t get suspicious. That I’ll find somewhere to stay out of their hair in the meantime… That should pass as a fair excuse, at least in mom’s eyes. Do you think your folks will notice if I hole up in your room? I’d stay out here, but at least your room has an ensuite bathroom I can hide in.”

He reluctantly nodded and pulled your phone from your backpack, hesitantly handing it to you. “Call her, I’m going to go make sure the coast is clear.”

- - - - - - - - - -

There were really too many tales to recount, each one worse than the next, so you decided on one of the more sordid stories, only briefly describing other smaller encounters. You had figured that if Minho really wanted to know, you might as well get the worst out of the way. You finished your trip down memory lane by telling Minho the reason why you were here. The reason you ever moved in the first place.

That night with your father. The week with Chan’s family. The move that saved your goddamned life.

You had figured he would be disgusted with you. Terrified or awestruck. You knew you would be if you were in his shoes. But all you could do was sit there in silence, refusing to look up and find out what the expression on his face had morphed into. The silence was deafening and the air crackled with preemptive lightning you knew was bound to come. 

But it never did. Why the fuck isn’t he saying anything? You spared a look at his hands and you saw his knuckles were completely white with a murderous grip. You slowly raised your gaze to try and read his eyes, consequences be damned. What you saw made a chill run down your spine.

His jaw was clenched and trembling, his nostrils flared, face red as his eyes were screwed shut. You could only speculate as to why he would be so mad. You supposed it wasn’t too far off that it was because you hid this from him, making him think you were a person you really weren’t. Chan was a pure golden hearted angel, never judging you or making you feel inferior - but realistically - you knew you couldn’t expect that from everyone. No matter how much it hurt to admit it…

You stood from the bed, wanting to be anywhere but there. Always running from your fucked up past. But you abruptly felt yourself being pulled back by the wrist, falling flat back down on the unmade bed with a thud. You felt the warm presence of the man of your desires wrap you in a tight hug, laying down next to your confused body in an unyielding embrace.

You felt all of your worries and machinations wash away as you pulled him indescribably closer, grateful for allowing you to burrow into him. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, nor could he, so the two of you just laid there with your bodies intertwined and his consolatory hand ran up and down your back.

You eventually puffed out a shaky breath and looked up from where you were buried in his chest to look at his face. He stared back down at you with an expression that was part adoration and part agony. One of the arms that were wrapped around your back was pulled to your face, his fingers gliding over your forehead and behind your ear to brush a stray hair out of the way. His hand found its resting place on your cheek and the fingers of the hand on your back swirled around in soothing circles.

You looked into his glossy eyes and couldn’t control the natural force that pulled your lips to his. His thumb brushed over the permanent indentation in your cheek bone as your lips whispered and melded over each other. The moment was more intimate and loving than anything you had ever experienced.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “Y/N… H-how… w-why…?” You could tell he was at a loss for words and you shushed him with a chaste kiss.

“Min, it’s over now. I’m here and I’m fine. Chan saved me…” You offered him a small smile but he was remiss to return it.

“Well I can definitely say that a lot of the things I’ve been worried about have been made painfully clear now. How could you keep going back? You were literally on the brink of death, Y/N.” He stuffed his face in the crook of your neck. “I don’t even want to think of what those sick fucks would have done to you. I’ll fucking kill them.” He growled into your shoulder and you tried to calm him with your own ministrations on his back.

“It’s okay. Shhh… I’m sorry I kept it from you, Minnie. I was afraid…” He looked back up at you in confusion. “...afraid you would be disgusted with me. With the things I’ve done.” You refused to meet his eyes at your confession.

You felt his soft hand dip under your chin and lift it up to meet his eyes. “Oh, little mouse. Never think of yourself as anything less than extraordinary. You are the most strong, brave, and badass woman I’ve ever met. I think I’m starting to fall for you more and more by the second.”

Fall for me? As in love? That’s preposterous, there is no way anyone could feel that way about you knowing the things you’ve done. You were surprised enough that he didn’t run for the hills. You never could have even imagined ending up with someone who wasn’t already a pothead let alone anyone at all. You always considered Chan the only man in your life that miraculously loved you unconditionally, even if it wasn’t romantic.

He looked down at you as if he was seeing you for the first time. “So beautiful…” His hand smoothed over the curve of your waist and his eyes traced your body. He leaned in and breathed against your neck, the hot puffs stealing the air from your lungs. “So powerful for such a small little mouse.” The smell of him filled your nose with ginseng, sandalwood, and citrus and you got chills from the delicious aroma.

As his hand traveled down your body - over your waist, hip, ass - he stopped at the back of your thigh, lifting it to drag over his own hips. “Minnie…”

You’d never experienced this much desire in your entire life. Honestly, with your experience with sexual encounters, you thought you wouldn’t be interested at all. Meeting Minho completely reversed any of those thoughts and enhanced your libido tenfold. Surprisingly enough to you, you wanted nothing more in life right now than to jump this man’s bones.

You felt a wet kiss touch down on the base of your jaw and you loudly sighed in desire. You closed your eyes and felt hot waves of arousal spread over your body and through your veins, making electric shocks shoot to your nerve endings. Just a single touch from Minho was enough to thrill you into wanting and make you throw all caution to the wind.

You made your intentions very clear as you pulled your groin closer to his. Well, as much as you could in the awkward angle you two were in - facing each other on your sides. He responded in kind, grabbing your ass and pulling you flush to him.

He lightly suckled on your pulse and you threw your head back in bliss, allowing him more access. You slipped out a tiny whimper when he lightly bit the flesh on your neck, immediately soothing it with his delectable tongue. You could feel his hardening length tighten his pants as you pressed into him, making you giddy that he was just as worked up as you were. 

The haze of ecstasy momentarily cleared when a pressing thought crossed your mind. “Wh-where’s Chan?” It was only but a whisper, but you knew he had heard you, stopping his sinful actions to briefly respond.

“Gone.” He moved back to your mouth, planting a sensual kiss before whispering against your lips. “Said he’d be out late…” He licked up into your mouth and you clenched your thighs around him, feeling your shorts soak with your arousal.

You took matters into your own hands and straddled your personal, beautiful incubus. You paused to look down at his gorgeous form. His iconic look of dark ripped jeans, a black v-neck t-shirt, and that same damned sexy leather jacket. You wanted it all gone.

He seemed to be appreciating you as well as his hands ran up and down your thighs that bracketed his hips. Your hands lightly crawled up his clothed chest and parked on the collar of his jacket, gripping it firmly. You leaned forward and planted a small kiss on his cheek before whispering. “Minnie… I want you…”

The groan that left his throat was low and controlled. He involuntarily grinded his hips up, making you gasp at the friction. “Oh baby…” He closed his eyes. “You’re making this so difficult for me…” His hands traveled to grope your ass and grinded you forward.

“Ngh *gasp*… Well… if you aren’t ready… can I at least take care of you?” You said between movements, breathing heavily. You scooted back slightly and splayed your hand over his rock hard bulge to encourage him. “I want… I want to taste you…” His eyes were about to pop out of his head at your bold statement. You feigned confidence.

He was breathing just about as heavily as you were and you continued to stare into each other's souls. His face looked pained in conflict as he fluttered his eyes shut from your touch. “God, Kiyomi… you’re unreal… ” He opened his eyes and searched your own for any uncertainty. He would find none, you were hungry for him and you wanted to do anything that would show him that. You decided to be a bit more daring and deftly popped open the button of his pants.

He smirked at you with that confident smile that you hadn’t realized you missed until he graced you with it. “Well you seem to have already made the decision for both of us, eager little mouse.” You bit your lip seductively, egging him on as you steadily lowered his zipper. His eyes burned in anticipation and flit between your eyes and your wandering hands. “Are you sure you want this?” His face still had that teasing demeanor, but you could hear the genuine hesitation and indecision in his voice.

You paused the exploration of your hands to gently place them on his shoulders, kissing him with a slow, passionate tenderness that you hoped would ease his doubts. When you released his lips, you whispered. “I’ve never been more sure in my life. I want all I can get from you Lee Minho.” That was all it took.

His movement was swift as he sat the two of you into a sitting position with his legs swinging over the edge - you still straddling him - making you dizzy as his lips latched onto your cleavage just above the dip in your shirt. You used this opportunity to slide off his jacket and his hands slid up under the hem of your shirt to unceremoniously yank it over your head, freeing your braless chest and lithe frame.

For half a second, it seemed like he was looking at your figure in a new light, now having known the knowledge of your previous child neglect and linking it to your current self neglect. Although you were starting to fill out gradually with proper meals, you were still severely underweight. But after that second of contemplation, he gently kissed your belly, just above your navel. His hands ran up your sides slowly as he continued kissing your torso. When his hands traveled up to take purchase of your breasts, he softly flicked his thumbs softly over your perky nipples and - at the same time - laid a sensual kiss against your visible rib cage.

You sighed in pleasure at his pure affection and pulled back momentarily to peel off his shirt, your hands returning to run through his silky mane. You rolled your hips forward to seek out the sweet friction from his erection and he squeezed your breasts harder before releasing. His mouth replaced them to latch on to one of your nipples and, with his free hands, he blindly fumbled around for your pillow and threw it down on the floor at his feet.

You knew what your next task was, so you pressed a sweet kiss on top of his head and removed yourself from his lap, slinking down onto your knees in front of him and running your hands over his magnificent clothed thighs with desire penetrating him through your eyes. Your hands slid up his legs to the hem of his jeans, feeling each and every groove in the rough fabric, and you looped your fingers underneath them and his boxers. He awaited your next move, letting you set the pace.

When you tugged on them, he lifted his hips to assist you as you gradually pulled down the offending piece of fabric. Once they were finally thrown to the side, your gaze was blown wide at his bare tumescence. There was no fucking way you could fit all of it, but you’d definitely try like hell. You were surprised with yourself when you realized your mouth was literally watering at the sight.

“Min, porn can only teach me so much. I’ll probably need your help…” 

“Oh?” He smirked. “I wonder what type of porn my cute little mouse likes.” His condescending tone lit a fire in you. He leaned down to catch your gaze and whisper. “I bet it’s not so innocent, is it, darling?” His crooked smile challenged you and you wanted to do nothing more than gain the upper hand and wipe that smirk off of his face.

You unexpectedly reached forward and ran the palm of your hand up the length of his dick, applying the delicious pressure that you knew would make him weak. “Maybe you should stop stalling and find out for yourself how innocent I really am.” He shuddered and his eyes closed fleetingly, making you proud of the effect you had on him.

That was until he returned to that exigent glower. His admonitory hand raised to leisurely smooth his thumb over your lower lip. “I’ll never know until I see these pretty lips wrapped around my cock.” Your jaw dropped and it was your turn to quiver this time, making him sit back in triumph as your face lit up to an alarming shade of red. Damn him and his stupid ability to make me completely muddled with just a few words.

You absentmindedly licked the spot where his thumb grazed you and tentatively wrapped your hand around his length, your small fingers not able to fully wrap around the full width. He guided you with his hand covering your own, indicating the pressure and movements you were to execute. His dick felt like fire in your hand and it made your head spin to think about how it would feel inside of you.

The veins were prominent and you couldn’t understand why that turned you on so much. The level of arousal was apparent with how much precum he was leaking onto your hand and you felt your confidence skyrocket.

He was patient and alit with desire, but once you got the hang of it, he released you and let you continue your ministrations on your own. You could tell he was enjoying it by the way his breathing picked up and his eyes fluttered.

Again, continuing at your own pace, you placed a small kitten lick to the underside of his head, making him gasp at the abrupt sensation. The precum didn't taste awful like you had imagined, just a bit bitter.

Satisfied with his reaction, you tried to pull out some of the skills you had learned from your recent searches. Pulling away your thumb from your grasp, you completely flattened your tongue, making it wide enough to run from the base to the tip of him, flicking your tongue up at the end of his sensitive slit. You followed it up by wrapping your lips around the very tip of his sensitive head with tentative suckling.

A groan fell out of his mouth as he sighed and his fingers gravitated to intertwine through your long tresses. “Oh baby… fuck, you’re doing so good…” Your heart swelled with pride and you took in a bit more. “...just wrap your lips over your teeth and do what you feel is right. I trust you, baby girl.” You felt a fluttering in your chest and you realized that you wouldn’t rather be anywhere but here, sucking the life out of this man’s dick. 

You followed his instructions, sinking down further and trying to mimic the pressure you had used with your hand. As you had previously assumed - far before he was fully sheathed - the tip hit the back of your throat making you accidentally gag and pull off. You looked up at him with a pout. “I can’t fit it all…” You wanted to cry with frustration. All you wanted was to please him, which wasn’t characteristic of you at all. You were ashamed of yourself and hated the thought of him not being satisfied with you.

He cooed at your frustration and pinched your cheek. “That's okay my little mouse. Just do however much you’re comfortable with.” He grabbed your previously used hand and placed it on the base of his length. “This can do the rest, yeah?” His smile was one of adoration and your already flushed cheeks reddened even further as you meekly nodded to him.

You returned your mouth to him and his hands continued to lace through your hair. Once you were fully choked again, the hands on the back of your head gently guided you up and down, making you hum in appreciation. As your hand had worked the rest of him, you stared up at his face. Your shorts soaked even further when you saw that he had freed one of his hands from your hair so he could lean back on it on the bed, throwing his head back in pleasure and huffing from the euphoric feeling through his raw, bitten lips.

The precum that was oozing from the tip started tasting acidic and salty, but the underlying sweetness made up for the uncomfortable sting. The hum you vibrated against him earned you a strained croak from the depths of his throat and your pride returned to you.

You decided to redouble your efforts and quickened your pace with abandon, wanting to hear more beautiful noises from him. You tried with all of your effort to swallow down his ridiculous length and not gag, but it wasn’t an easy feat. You could tell he was struggling, but he was very well controlled when it came to vocalization. You didn’t want that.

You let your mouth take the reins and you swirled your tongue around him and flicked the slit on the underside like a lollipop, letting your saliva drool out of your mouth and down his shaft. That is what did it for him. His low groan almost sounded like a growl and the hand in your hair gave delicious little tugs. “Fuck, Kiyomi… baby *ngh* so fucking good… shit.” You hummed in appreciation and you could feel his dick twitch. Your slobber was dripping down your chin and it was messy as hell, but that turned you on even further.

His gut was palpitating and you could tell he was getting close. You made eye contact with him as your free hand slid down your body to tuck underneath your shorts and make circular motions on your sensitive clit. His eyes blew open wide and you groaned at the sensation you were granting yourself, the vibration on his dick was making him come undone. “I– I’m c– cumming…” He grunted out as he tried to pull you away by your hair, but you always knew one thing - the hottest thing a person can do is swallow. So you remained firm in your actions, speeding up and sucking harder. “Y/N–!”

You felt a thick, warm liquid collide with your throat and blend in with your saliva. You stroked him a few more times to milk out the rest and then slid off of him altogether with a loud *pop*. The taste was definitely more prominent, but with the tangy substance still sloshing around on your tongue, you made sure Minho saw it as you cleaned the rest of his tip with your dripping tongue, punctuating your action with a loud ‘gulp’ at the end.

It took a moment for him to regain a modicum of composure, but when he did, he spoke with a heavy breath. ”I now have no doubt in my mind, you are indubitably a motherfucking goddess.” He fell back against the sheets and you raised from the floor to follow him, draping one leg over his own and wrapping your arms around his neck.

You were just happy that you could make him feel good. It was a goddamned miracle that he didn’t bounce out on you as soon as he heard your story. So if that meant that you would just have to take care of your own aching pussy once he left, it was well worth it.

You looked up at his resting face and his beauty never failed to take your breath away. His sharp jawbone perfectly framed his gorgeous high cheekbones and the straight slope of his nose was as if it was carved from stone. His huge, beautiful eyes were closed and his long eyelashes fanned over his cheeks like black waves.

You could've stayed there forever, just basking in the pure ethereal beauty of Minho. You took in a large inhale of his musk and earthy scent and snuggled closer to him. His bare skin felt like velvet under your touch and you took a moment to appreciate his milk and honey skin.

You raised your hand and - once again - tangled your fingers through his silky midnight hair, lightly running the tips of your fingernails over his scalp, making him hum in gratitude. Your eyes finally landed on his delicious lips. His overbite was insanely adorable, but the plumpness and slope of his lips were sexy as hell. The heavy, hot breaths he puffed out of them turned you on even more.

You found yourself licking your lips and figured you could indulge yourself just a bit more of him. While his eyes were still closed and he was still trying to catch his breath, you latched your lips onto his briefly and sweetly before ghosting down against his skin on your way to continue your open-mouthed kisses on his jaw.

He was addicting, the light sheen of perspiration on his skin gave you a salty-sweet taste that made you want to lick him all over. Your tongue traveled further to fleetingly suckle and nip on his ear. The sound he made as he sighed out made your wet shorts even more drenched. 

You gripped his hair a bit harder as the other hand ran over his pecs and lightly defined abs. You started devouring him. Sucking hard against his neck, pulse point, collarbone, chest, anything that could elicit more of his sweet noises.

The arm that was wrapped around your waist underneath you snuck its way over the back of your shorts to gingerly kneed at your ass. His other hand raised up to travel his fingertips over your breast, tweaking the swollen nip periodically. His head craned back further into the bed to give you more access to mark him up and the hand that was exploring your breasts traveled further down.

His single index finger slid far too slowly down the center of your abdomen and dipped into your navel before traveling further. Your breath hitched against him when you could feel him teasing with the edge of your shorts. “Please Minnie…” You whined against his neck and you could see his dick twitch. Damn, does this man not have a refractory period?  

He gained a mocking tone of voice. “Well, since you asked nicely…” You breathed heavily in anticipation as he dipped his hand down the front of your shorts before he chuckled. “Tsk tsk, no panties? Maybe my little mouse isn’t so innocent. So naughty for me.” Blood ran to your face making it bright red and you never thought you would like dirty talk, but coming from his mouth it lit you on fire. His finger dove further down into your wet shorts and found your aching pearl. You cried out as he stimulated it with figure eight movements. “Is this what you wanted, baby girl?”

You frantically nodded your head in the crook of his neck, relenting your attack on his skin in response to his sinful activities. You’d been stimulated by him before and you could now confidently say that he was a pro at this. You were breathing against him rapidly as his finger teased at your labia. He dragged his finger through the center, but not quite inside you, ending his journey with a light flick of your clit.

“Damnit Minho! Stop winding me up!” You roughly bit his shoulder and he growled at the sensation. Before you knew it, he had pushed you over on your back and hovered over you.

“I’d like to see you make me. What can a mouse even do when faced with a tiger?” His evil grin made you glare in sexual frustration.

You looked down at his now fully erect cock and your hand flew to its base, making him choke on his words. You leaned up to whisper in his ear. “If you ever want your dick in me, whether it’s now or later, you’d better stop being a fucking tease.” 

You released his erection and he regained his senses. He climbed off of you in a rush and grabbed your ankles, roughly pulling you to the edge of the bed and got on his knees where you had been positioned just moments before. Your breath escaped you at light speed and excitement flowed through you like a babbling brook. He grabbed onto your soaking sleep shorts and quickly yanked them off of you (almost tearing them even).

“You asked for this, you damned bratty rat.” He growled. He immediately plunged two fingers inside of you and dove his face right in, devouring anything he could get his mouth on. His tongue joined the two fingers that were already relentlessly pumping in and out of you, making you whine at the stretch.

“Fuck–!” You watched his concentrated face as he probed you with his tongue while his nose stimulated your clit. He then moved up to your clit, sucking on it hard and looked into your eyes with an eyebrow raised as if he were taunting you. You had never felt so malleable.

Without warning, he added a third finger into you alongside the others that were abusing you. You belted out a high pitched yell and thanked god that both of your roommates were gone for the night.

“Is this what you wanted, frisky baby? For me to fuck you with my fingers?” He pulled off with your juices running down his face.

“Fuck– ngh! – I want– ah! – you to fuck me with your *gasp* dick!” His fingers were teasing across your g-spot and you were losing your composure quickly.

“All in due time, princess.” He curled his fingers up to abuse you right in the spot that made you scream. He leaned down to continue to lick up into you and flicked your sensitive bead when you felt the painful buildup in your core start to increase.

“Ah! Min please! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD don’t stop!” You saw stars burst and your vision went black for a half a second. You felt your release explode and soak your lovers hand and face, making the experience all the more euphoric. You would never let this man go if he could make you orgasm that hard just by eating you out. Your whole body was limp and you felt numb, only able to see him .

He raised up from his knees and licked his fingers clean while seductively staring at you. You would be swimming in your shorts from the sight if you were still wearing them. He then wiped his face with the back of his hand and walked into your bathroom. Moments later he returned with a damp cloth and started cleaning you. Can this man be any more fucking perfect? He threw the rag into the laundry bin and pulled his boxers on. Once he climbed back on the bed and hovered over you, that stupid ass smirk returned to his face. “Any other requests, my sweet mouse?”

Everything faded away as you looked up at him. You couldn’t believe that this man wanted you at all. It took everything in you not to cry from disbelief. You felt as if this were some sick trick, someone spending money to make this feel real just to eventually rip the rug out from underneath you and send you plummeting into darkness again. You wanted this to be real. You wanted Minho.

You grabbed his face and pulled him down so his lips could meet yours. It was slow and intimate, a drastic change from the earlier hunger. When you pulled back, you were inches from his face and staring deep into his two black pools for eyes. “Be my boyfriend.”

His smile was enormous and you had never seen anything more beautiful. He wrapped you in his arms and rolled the two of you over so you were flat on top of him with his hands tightly squeezing you in a hug. You dug your face into the crook of his neck to inhale more of his earthy and musky scent. “Fucking finally.” 

You looked up at him with an unamused face. “I assume that’s a yes?” He laughed at you.

“Yes, I suppose I will keep you around.” You giggled as you smiled at him and, again, he was all you could see, the brightest light smiling at you. He usually kept a confident or indifferent composure, but this was a completely different side of Minho you had never witnessed.

“Fucking finally…” You mocked and repeated his earlier statement and he squeezed you tight while rolling around on the bed. You protested but he continued rolling you around like a ragdoll. You suddenly realized that you were still completely naked. “Min!” You laughed as he winded up squishing you with his strong body flat on top of yours.

“Mousebed, 5 stars.” He snuggled up on top of your neck.

You squeaked out. “Min… I can’t breathe!”

“Don’t act like you don’t like it.” He kissed your neck gently.

“I’m gonna die.”

A dramatic sigh escaped his lungs and he reluctantly rolled over to lay next to you. “I would threaten you more, but I can’t hurt my new girlfriend just yet.”

“Just yet? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You sat up and looked down at him incredulously.

He formed an evil grin. “Pain and pleasure are just two sides of the same coin, little mouse.” He grazed his hand over your thigh and your heart dropped out of your ass. Holy hell this man is going to be the death of me. Your thighs squeezed together as your pussy started to ache from excitement. And of course the bastard's eye catched it. “Excited are we?”

You pushed yourself off the bed and glared at him. “No! I was just contemplating whether to punch your stupid smug face or not!” He sat up on the bed and watched your naked body saunter off to start the shower.

“Even though you might be the most badass girl I’ve ever met–” He said it loud enough for you to hear. Without realizing he came up behind you, he wrapped his arms around you after shucking off his boxers and the two of you entered the shower as he whispered in your ear. “But I can still make you weak underneath me, baby girl.”

Your heart palpitated as he trailed open mouthed kisses down the side of your neck. “No marks, Min…” You breathed out your words in a desperate tone.

He hummed in response. “Hmm… It doesn’t seem quite fair that you marked me all over my neck, but I can’t claim you with mine.” He bit your earlobe, still swaying you back and forth with his arms around you from behind as the hot water cascaded down your bodies.

You twisted around in his arms and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him away at arm's length. He still had a cocky smirk on his face. “You want Chan to question me? Have me tell him that I’m fooling around with some other guy? You know he would want to meet the mystery man.” His smile dissipated into a scowl.

“Fuck no, I don’t want our circle thinking your fucking anyone but me.” He crossed his arms and looked like an annoyed teenager.

“Okay well, one: you refuse to fuck me. And two: the guys don’t and won’t know we’re together anyway.” He rolled his eyes and zoned out on the wall with his eyebrows furrowed in frustration. You put your hands on his cheeks and turned his head to face you. “What is it, Min?”

He grabbed your hands and pulled them off his face. “Do we seriously have to keep it a secret? It really is stupid.” His arms returned to their crossed position. “Do you not want people to know?” His voice was accusatory.

You glowered at him. “Min. Are you serious right now? Chan made his intentions blatantly clear. I don’t want my boyfriend to end up being a smear on the carpet, it would never be able to get that stain out!” That earned a repressed smile out of him and your annoyance slightly decreased. “You know I am more than proud to officially be yours… I… I just need time to change his mind…”

He tensed his jaw, closed his eyes, and let out a big sigh. “Okay…” 

- - - - - - - - - -

It had been a few weeks and you and Minho had been so busy with school and work, you only got to see each other in classes. Even your tutoring days were postponed due to constant work.

When you did find a break in your schedule, you had taken the chance to find a good doctor. She was able to get you set up with an IUD for good birth control. That is… if Minho was ever ready.

You couldn’t do much fooling around at the moment anyway with all of the work you had to do. The spring season made everyone want to get out and enjoy the air. Causing more people stop by the café and more work for you.

You didn’t mind work, you actually loved your job at the coffee shop, but it also meant less Minho time. You finally started taking orders when your boss was satisfied with your Korean speech and Hangul writing.

One day during work, the boss man came to check up on things. You actually really liked him, he was patient and funny. A really chill guy. So you decided you would try your luck at a suggestion for the business.

“Good afternoon Mr. Choi! How’s your day been?” He sighed and slumped into the back room office chair.

“About as well it can be with a full day of paying bills.” He cracked his neck and looked half asleep.

“Wow, my favorite days! Don’t you have a secretary or a manager that helps you with that?”

“Psh, I fucking wish. No, I’m alone in this fight.” He leaned forward in his seat. “So what’s up girly? You needed to talk to me?”

You caught yourself nervously fiddling with your fingers and pulled them to your sides. “Yes, sir! First off, have you heard of that lounge down the road? Eunsincheo?”

“Yeah! Pretty cool little place they’ve got there. Seems really chill.” He suddenly looked more lively and you regained your confidence.

“Yeah! It’s a really nice place! My roommate actually works there—“

“Oh yeah, that muscley guy that comes to see you all the time?” 

“Yeah! That’s Chan. Well, I go there a lot to see him and their coffee is… for lack of a better word, it’s complete shit.” He absolutely cackled at that and you chuckled to yourself. “Well, my point is, I was wondering if you had ever considered collaborating or creating a sister store? Both of our businesses are small and local and I feel like it would have a positive impact on not only our revenue, but also on theirs.”

He was nodding to himself in contemplation with furrowed brows. “Is this something you have discussed with their management?”

“No, sir. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself until I spoke to you first.” He seemed to appreciate that answer.

He suddenly swiveled to face the office desktop and pulled the agenda up on the screen. “How about this, you write up a plan and an outline of all the expenses and steps needed to take. I will email you a summary of our current budget and you can calculate what our potential revenue would be. If you can get that information to me by next month and it looks doable, I will let you handle the entire project.”

You almost couldn’t believe it. You were sure he would at least give you the stereotypical ‘let me think about it’ and then never mention it again. This was better than anything you could’ve asked for. You deeply bowed. “Yes, sir! Thank you so much!” You enthusiastically shook his hand. “I will work on that right away! You won’t regret this, sir.”

He laughed at your eagerness. “Well, it’s not a done deal yet, Y/N. It all depends on the budget.” He stood up and shook your hand again. “I look forward to see what you will prepare.”

You were almost jumping with joy. You couldn’t wait to tell Chan. Hell, if you got to be in charge of it, you could probably get to work at Eunsincheo with Chan, Changbin, and Jisung! Every day in this country kept getting better and better. The next time you decided to pay your dues to your Bang ‘parents’, you would have to let them know, once again, how grateful you were to them.

_________________________________________

Click here for Part Three

2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

It’s been a few hours since you hunkered down with Bo in your new, super fucking comfy, bed. He doesn’t have energy to do much but you both worked together to get his head in your lap so you could pet him. You’ve learned a fair bit about Bo from the few hours you’ve spent together, he’s part dog and doesn’t find anything weird about that. He loves ear scritches, chin scritches and apparently tummy rubs but he’s afraid he’ll get sick if you do that right now. He loves you already and has told you that he would both kill and die for you multiple times now, which like, you could do without but hey, cult, what did you expect?

Nick left a while ago and ever since you’ve heard muffled talking from a room or two over. It started out fine, but over time more voices came in and now it sounds like they’re all bickering “Are you ok?” You look down at Bo who’s now giving you the most worried puppy eyes you’ve ever seen, god he’s cute. You tell him you’re fine, just a little curious about what’s going on in the other room “Mmm, curious people’s heart rates don’t go up like that” Oh, what? You guess he is a dog, still you’re a little sorry he can hear your heartbeat, with how many anxiety attacks you’ve had today alone you can only imagine how annoying it’ll be for him to stay with you

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it worse” Shit, ok, deep breathe in…and out. You tell him he did nothing wrong, you’re just naturally anxious “Oh, ok…maybe I could help with that? Some people in town have service dogs or cats, maybe I could be your anxiety dog” He doesn’t have much energy to put into his voice but you can tell from his tail he likes the idea. The thought warms your heart, he cares about you so much already and just wants to be helpful in any way possible. You make sure to tell him how good of a boy he is for wanting to help which gets his tail wagging even harder

You’re not left with much time to gush over your new puppy as you hear the bickering turn to shouting in the other room “...It’s ok you know, I’ve survived this long without you. Just…promise you’ll be back?” You promise and start to get up “Wait…before you go you have to pay the toll” You’re a little worried about what the toll could be before he points to his forehead, oh, cutie. You lean down and give his forehead a few quick kisses which seem to do the trick. You tell him one more time you’ll be right back before rushing towards the noise

It isn’t hard to track them all down, half a dozen guys or so yelling at each other is pretty hard to miss. It’s difficult to hear what any individual is saying but from what you can gather they’re talking about your harem? Seriously? Your dog is on deaths fucking door and they’re worried about that? You want to be mad but you can feel yourself start to shake. They’re all yelling so loud, you don’t want to yell back but it would be the only way to grab their attention, it’s so loud, it’s so much, too much, far too much, you need to get out, why can’t you move, why can’t you breathe, please just “Stop!”

The noise stops, you can breathe again. What just…that voice was yours wasn’t it? It came out of your mouth but it sounded…off? You look up expecting all of them to be looking at you but they’re still looking at each other. You look a little more closely but, no, no that can’t be right. They all look…frozen? Like someone hit pause on these real actual people. The world feels like it’s tilting before you realize that’s you, you’re falling, everything is falling and it’s all…going…black

You feel warm, the kind of warm you only feel from your favorite blanket on a cold winter morning, but you don’t feel anything on your skin. You open your eyes to find you’re in…space??? It doesn’t look like real space, more like that galaxy aesthetic that was popular a few years back. Wait, 2016 was seven years ago…man you feel old “Fitting, you are much older than you think” …Who the fuck was that? It sounded like you, but that voice was too loud, too clear to be your own “Oh, but is, in a sense”

You look around to see where the voice might be coming from but it’s just more space, it’d be really pretty if you weren’t on the verge of another freak out “Well that won’t do. Here, allow me” As you breathe in more of that warmth floods your mind and body, you’re surprised you don’t feel more tired. As you start to get your bearings the stars around you start to move, golden and silver flecks of light converge on a single point and morph into a giant…Labrador? Yeah, no, that’s a big ass dog made of starlight

What the fuck is your life today?

“Hello, it is nice to finally meet you face to face” …Right, and they are? “You, well, technically I’m your father, or mother. Gender means little when you are a god” …You must have really hit your head “Do not be silly, you are here because I could finally reach you after using your powers for the first time. Which, might I say, went very well for what you were trying to accomplish. Freezing time is no simple feat, though I’m afraid you do not have enough energy to do so for very long. Hence the passing out”

Freezing time…you actually froze time? “For a short while, yes” Is it still frozen? “No, but time is different here than out there. Wouldn’t want your harem getting even more up in arms” They’re not!-...You don’t know what you’re going to do about them. But more importantly, who are they? And where the fuck are you? “I have gone by many names but those in the town call me your grace” But, they’ve been calling you your grace “You are me taken new form, it is to be expected. As for where we are, we are within dream itself. It is my realm so long as I am barred from the mortal plane”

…You’re sorry, you can freeze time??? “Of course you can, your powers are limited only by your followers and your imagination. If you believe you can do something you can, simple as” You wouldn’t call any of this simple, but sure, whatever. What was that bit about them being your dad? “Your father never consummated with your mother, she went through a ritual that allowed me to put a piece of myself in her, thus allowing your birth” …Did she know about that? “Mm, not entirely, no” …Cool, so cool and awesome. You tell them they can fuck off for not letting you feel angry about this

“Excuse me? I don’t think that’s any way to talk to your parent” They’re not your parent, a parent raises and loves and nurtures you, you only have a mom as far as you’re concerned “Ah yes, the woman who stole you away from learning your powers at a young age and away from your main power source, I’m sure that did well for you” They will not talk about your mom like that “Oh I think I shall. Tell me, did this mother of yours ever brace you for this? Or she leave you naïve so you could freak the fuck out once you learned the truth?”

Your mom raised you alone in a world she was convinced was after her, she did her fuckin best “And her best was this?” They gesture towards you and even through their blanket of calm you can feel your blood start to boil “I think we’re done here, I’ll leave you be tonight but after that we’re going to be seeing each other every time you fall asleep. Goodbye, little one”

Your eyes snap open to see two brown ones staring back “You’re awake! Oh thank…well, you I guess” Ian’s necklace bumps your chin before he gets up from the…couch? They must have moved you here. You sit up slowly but your head feels fine, you’re a little tired but alright over all, the fuck was that weird dream about “Are you alright your grace? That was a pretty nasty fall” Barry’s voice almost sounds like he’s teasing you but his face is still that creepy slight smile

You tell them you’re fine, just tired from today. You give your thanks to whoever moved you to the couch, he doesn’t pipe up but you see Jack’s smile grow wider “So, about your harem-” You cut Jean off, the only person in your harem right now is Bo, moving on “Wha-the mutt? Your grace you can’t be serious-” Moving. On. You sigh before getting up and walking back to your bedroom, all of them stay stock still, clearly trying not to anger you any further as you return to your room

You can’t help but smile when you see Bo’s tail start to wag as he sees you “You’re back, are you ok? Why were you gone so long? None of them hurt you, did they?” You sit down and tell him yes, it’s complicated, and no before moving back so his head in your lap. You can feel that tomorrow will probably be even crazier than today, but tonight you are relaxing with your new dog and that’s all that matters. It’s not long before Bo’s nuzzling does you in for the night, all the events of today finally catching up with you as you let yourself slip into a deep sleep

[narrators-journal]

Time to go twisted.

A little thing i keep wanting to write but haven’t is a ‘new game+’ RyoMina fic where all 12 Full moon Shadows Flirt with Minato.

Magician is only trying to grab him to hold, priestess only wants Minato in the train, Hierophant wants him to sit with it, Lovers just charms him and screams at SEES to not separate them, fortune trys pulling him into strength’s protection.

When Ryoji finally shows up in November Minato is VERY close to PUNCHING HIM, Minato Loves him BUT COME ON ALL THE SHADOWS TRIED JUMPING HIM!

Do with this imagery as you wish.

Okay, so, again, this is a scenario that is more fitting a series of scenarios, if not an entire fic lmao, so this. Does not have a lot of context to it? But I hope it’s a fun, silly read. Some humor with some angst possibly sprinkled on top, so it was good fun to write it, and I hope that carries through and makes this a good read! Sadly I am not going on hour 20 of no sleep tho, so no promises.

A round, pregnant moon sat in the moonless sky to watch while Minato Arisato paced back and forth in front of the train station’s steps. The soft sound of a possum in the trash nearby the only company the blue-haired wildcard had as he avoided patches of ice on the sidewalk and waited.

All I need to do is meet Ryoji, and fuck off. No need for words, no need for touching, nothing like that.He reminded himself, as he studied the cracks on the pavement with his gloved hands in his coat’s pockets. But what if the thing that brought Ryoji to me the first time was my grief over Shinjiro? I’ve already processed that this time, I was expecting it, I’m not being eaten alive by loss.A small voice pointed out, but the emo shook that thought away. No. Ryoji doesn’t sniff out grief or emotion, he tracks souls and life force-The thought screeched to a halt in his head when he heard the telltale sound of the earlier possum scramble out of it’s trashcan. “What are you doing out at an hour like this?” A familiar, melodic voice called from above a heartbeat after the animal panicked. And, when the wildcard looked up, he was met with the same man he’d fallen for before. The same tall man with swept-back, brown hair, colorful scarf that already made Minato want to choke the oxygen from the god’s brain, and sapphire eyes that dimly glowed in the dark winter night. The man that Minato trusted and wanted with every fiber of his being. “I just want you to know that I have a taser.” He said despite that trust, so much for not saying shit.

So, part of Minato couldn’t blame the tall brunette for the utterly confused look he threw down to the shaggy-haired man while the wildcard took the chance to truly drink in how the brunette used to look while he was lit so well by the moon. Which, was a light source that clearly suited the man. Because, the silver light seemed to turn his hickory hair nearly black, and his vampiric skin tone became like that of a porcelain doll, especially with the too-formal uniform of white button-up and suspender-held black slacks. How the hell did I not question why the fuck this dude was dressed up like that the first time? Honestly, there was so much I failed to pick up on about this man. Minato asked himself before Ryoji crouched down on the edge of the roof to study him more closely. “Here, I’m sorry if I came off as creepy so abruptly. Can I come down without you tasing me now?” He asked after a moment, and the uncertainty in his voice almost bewildered the emo a split second. Though, the brunette didn’t give him much, if any, time to respond before he leapt down.

And as if on instinct, Minato stepped back to catch him. Braced for the usual 230 pounds or so that his Ryoji had, only to basically catch a feather. “Fuck, I forgot how skinny you used to be.” He muttered into the man’s shoulder without much thought while he breathed in the comfortably familiar cold-dirt scent that mingled with the sour, rotten fragrance that clung to the brunette like some fucked up ‘new car’ smell. Only for the reality of the reset to crash back into the midnight-haired emo when Ryoji gave a more confused chuckle and shifted in Minato’s mindless hug. “Excuse me? Have you been stalking my weight somehow? Am Ithe one who needs the taser here, sir?” Fuck me. “No.” Minato quickly said as he pulled his face out of the god’s shoulder, even though the brunette’s own arms didn’t budge from around his waist. “No, sorry, I-I- Let me go, I do legitimately have a taser.” he stammered, only for his frantic attempt to save face to be laughed at more before the tall flirt began to sway him so easily from foot to foot by the shadow as he continued to tease in a sing-song voice. “Seriously? You’re the one who caught me and held me! I’m not the creep who needs to be tased here!” “Ryoji- Sir, let me go! I didn’t mean to-” “Ryoji?”

If there had been a world record for how far a man could put his foot in his mouth, Minato held the crown. Even if the tall man stopped their little dance in the snowy street to look down at him with no fear in those unearthly pools, the wildcard knew he’d fucked himself up the second he watched the single-frame flash of confusion that crossed the shadow’s face shift into amusement. God damn it, this was supposed to be so easy! So quick! Quit fucking it up! Minato scolded himself while Ryoji simply chuckled with no awareness of his own initial reaction. “Oh, so you’re just going mask-off now, huh?” his arms loosened around the midnight-haired wildcard so that he could instead rest his hands on his hips. Though, that did little to give the persona user an out, Minato was bitterly aware of that fact. So, he was left with one option left. “Can I please get a word in, sir? Without you making crude jokes and shit?” he huffed, which got him a silent raised eyebrow and a playful smirk as a greenlight to go on. “Look, I was sent by Gekkoukan to ensure nothing bad happened to you. I’m sorry if I came off like a stalker, I just know your name from your file.” Minato lied. Sure to hold eye contact so that he could both read the brunette’s expression for sparks of suspicion, and to be more believable. “So, you’re not a stalker at all?” Ryoji finally asked, and Minato did his best to not react to the disappointment in his words. “No, I’m just...awkward. Now can we head to the dorms please? It’s one in the morning, I’d like to go to sleep before class starts.” Ryoji nodded lightly at that and finally let the wildcard go to hide the dark disappointment in shame. Which, the midnight-haired emo took as his cue to turn on his heel to wordlessly led him off to where he assumed the boys' dormitory was. Thank god he thinks with his dick, or else I’d be so far beyond fucked. Minato thought while they left the train station at long last in a tense, awkward silence. A silence that was not helped by the way the insects and animals around at such a late hour fled from the tall shadow’s aura of rot. An aura that Minato was pretty used to thanks to the time he’d spent with the god, so it was easy to blame the thunder of his heart on his failure to stick to his plan rather than the embodiment of death that trailed behind him in near silence. “Quit staring at my ass.” “No.”

[pukanavis]

"Mystery on a Moonlit Cruise" Track 2

ーFlashback

Ryui: Toi, does three sugar cubes in your milk tea sound like enough?

Toi: Mhm, thanks, Ani-sama!

Netaro: Oh! I forgot that I mixed some of my newly invented ‘Wasabi Cubes That Look Indistinguishable From Regular Sugar” into that pot~

Ryui: BWURGHGH!!!

Muneuji: A tea party, hm? I suppose I could do with a break from studying.

Nanaki: …

…*Peek*.

Momiji: So what did you want to talk to us about, Yuki-nii?

Kafka: It must be awfully important to warrant you interrupting Chief and I’s tea time. Right?

Yukikaze: Yes, I have big news. I’ve recently had a new job opportunity for the company fall into my hands. 

Nanaki: (...What’s this about…?)

Yukikaze: The other day, I was approached by my dad along with a friend of his who runs a cruise ship company about my thoughts on possibly reviving their dormant ‘night cruise’ service.

Kafka: A night cruise, you say…! We have a couple tourism wards overlooking the sea so I’ve been meaning to breathe some more life into the cruising industry.

Yukikaze: After talking about it with my dad, I started wondering if we’d be able to help in some way…does it sound too difficult?

Kafka: Difficult? Do you know who you’re talking to? As long as they send over an official contract, HAMA Tours will offer its full support.

Yukikaze: Thank you. I’ll let them know.

Momiji: It’s not every day that you get to help out on a cruise ship of all things. Yuki-nii, did Uncle Sadayuki give you an idea on the type of assistance they’re looking for?

Nanaki: (Chief looks like she’s bursting with excitement…)

Yukikaze: The ship itself is already in working order but it’s been a while since it’s gone on a cruise so they’re hoping to get some advice on how to accommodate the passengers.

Momiji: I see…in that case, why don’t we have a sort of pre-opening where the employees of HAMA Tours act as passengers and come aboard for the night.

Kafka: Perfect idea ♪ After the pre-opening, we’ll be able to consult with them about our suggestions. 

Momiji: Yuki-nii, why don’t you ask Liguang-san about his opinions on this as well? The 4th ward has cruising services too so I bet that he’ll have some good insight.

Yukikaze: Good idea. Granted, Liguang has been rather busy as of late, so I have my doubts on whether or not he’ll be able to make it to the pre-opening.

Nanaki: (Their conversation is flowing so smoothly…those three have known each other since childhood, right…?)

Yukikaze: To think that I have the chance to sail the seas and admire the nighttime view of HAMA with you…I can barely wait.

Kafka: No one asked, Yukikaze.

Momiji: We can hold a meeting later to figure out the details… So! Is anyone here interested in coming to the pre-opening?

Muneuji: I’d like to expand my life experiences so I’d be grateful if I could participate. I’d also appreciate the chance to strengthen my core against the rocking of the boat.

Momiji: I’m not sure how helpful it’ll be for your core…I’ve heard that large passenger ships these days have implemented AIs that suppress the swaying of the waves.

Netaro: Oooh, I’d love to get a look at the inner workings of something like that! Count me in!

Yukikaze: Their pamphlet even shows a sun deck. Look, Ryui, it’s on this page.

Ryui: I don’t care.

Toi: I’ve never been on such a huge ship before. I’d love to see what it’s like…

Ryui: Give me that pamphlet, Kamina.

Momiji: What about you, Nanaki-kun?

Nanaki: Oh, uh…I’d like to come too.

(Gazing out at the night sea with Chief right beside me…it’ll be the perfect mood…)

(—Gosh, what am I thinking? Everyone else is going to be there too, there’s no way it'll be that kind of vibe..)

Nanaki: (This is the furthest thing from a good mood…!)

Chief, hang in there…!

Momiji: …

Nanaki: What am I even supposed to do in a situation like this…? Hey, Andy!

Andy: “...”

Nanaki: H-Huh…? But I had signal just a moment ago…?

Ryui: Toi…Toi! Shit…where’s the ship’s medic!?

Yukikaze: I’ll see if I can find them. The rest of you should stay here and keep watch over everyone.

Muneuji: Let’s all calm down a little.

Ryui: What the hell is here to be calm about…!?

Muneuji: Look closer. It seems that they’re only sleeping.

Ryui: Huh…?

Toi: Zzz…zzz…

Ryui: …Now that you mention it, that is the same angelic face Toi makes when he’s fast asleep.

Kafka & Kinari: …Zz…

Akuta: Yummy…pumpkin…ramen…pollock roe…corn beef…

Yachiyo: Mmnn…no more food…’m already stuffed…

Yodaka: Don’t rush yourself…take it slow…I know you can take more…if you try…

Muneuji: Fuefuki-san and Isotake have both fallen asleep with plates in their hands. It sounds like they’re continuing to enjoy the buffet even in their dreams.

Yukikaze: Yodaka-san's ability to communicate with Yachiyo in his sleep is amazing.

Nanaki: I-I think they’re having very different dreams…

Momiji: Zzz…zzz…

Nanaki: (I’ve been randomly blessed by the sight of Chief’s sleeping face…wow, those eyelashes…)

It doesn’t look like anyone is in pain. At least we have that to be thankful for…right?

Ryui: Are you stupid? There’s nothing to be happy about here.

Back | ★ | Next

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

Spider-Man - Season 2 (1968-1969)

Season 1 was mostly campy fun, with a side of awful occasional racism. Season 2 is dull and boring, with a side of sexism. The 60s were truly something. I'm not gonna put a content warning on any specific episode this time, just know that Pete just some rancid incel vibes this season.

MCU connections: None. This season established nothing that ties it into the MCU. 

This season does introduce some key elements to the Spider-Man mythos, specifically Spider-Man’s origin story, the Kingpin, and Captain Stacey.

In all honesty, I thought this season was shit and I really don’t ever wanna watch it again. (That is part of why this “review” took so long to make, I just didn’t really wanna keep watching. And to be honest with you, the only reason I finished it now is because apparently Internet Archive has lost a lawsuit or something, so I reckon don’t have much time left to watch this show, so I better get cracking)

Also something that came to mind after writing all this, this season had a very distinct lack of J. Jonah Jameson and Betty Brant, like they were there occasionally, but not even close to main characters like in Season 1.

As usual, episode breakdowns are below the cut.

I need to watch Season 3 asap.

Episode 21 - “The Origin of Spider-Man”

Bloody hell this episode has a narrator. Anyway, it’s our first Spider-Man origin episode, hooray! We get to watch Pete be a complete twat for a bit and then witness an old man die.

I’ve never understood why Pete’s response to the spider bite is always just “eh, I’ll be fine.” Like, if I were bitten by a spider you can bet your arse I’m down to the hospital. But then again I have heard horror stories of American healthcare, so maybe his response makes sense in the context of New York.

Also what is with Pete’s audio quality this episode? It sounds like the microphone was in a plastic tub while recording his lines.

I don’t usually point out animation errors, because they are plentiful in this series, but how the fuck did they invert the colours on the Spider-Man costume for a couple frames. I genuinely don’t know how you accidentally do that, especially on classic animation, like wasn’t this painstakingly made on film? Or am I understanding classic television animation wrong? Please, you actually know about stuff like this, lemme know, I’m interested.

This episode has much more detailed backgrounds than usual.

The Burglar ran to the ACME warehouse. Fucking Wile E. Coyote killed Uncle Ben.

Ok, not gonna lie, I actually like how they reused the opening theme for when Spidey tracks down the Burglar. It really solidifies how this is the first instance of Spider-Man spider-maning. 

“With great power, there must also come great responsibility.” Surprisingly not said by Uncle Ben, instead by Spider-Man himself after concluding he is responsible for Ben’s death.

Characters Introduced:

Peter Parker / Spider-Man

“Didn’t you already list Spidey from last season?” Yeah, but I’ve decided to re-include him because this was his origin episode. In this episode we see the evolution of nerdy little shit Peter Parker, to wall-crawling superhero Peter Parker.

Benjamin Parker / Uncle Ben

Poor Uncle Ben. He only had one line of dialogue and even with just that he had the vibes of a caring old man. Anyway, as will be established going forward into later series and films, Uncle Ben is one of the most important characters to Spider-Man, as he usually is the one to form Spidey’s moral code.

The Burglar

Unnamed in this continuity. The Burglar is Uncle Ben’s killer. A standard crook, no super powers to see, just a gun. I believe this being Spider-Man’s first antagonist is important as to why he stays a street level hero. No wars, no grand adventure, no supernatural event, just some nameless guy with a gun caused Spider-Man to become the Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man. And I think that’s quite important.

Episode 22 - “King Pinned”

Ooo, another prequel episode, this time showing how Pete got his job at the Daily Bugle.

I’m pretty sure almost everyone got redesigned this episode. Like, Jameson, Betty, and Aunt May all look different from how I remember them looking in season one, almost more detailed. “Didn’t you literally finish season one like a few days ago, how do you not remember the art style?” Easily, I have a shit memory for things that aren’t dinosaurs.

The fuck was with that married couple in the middle of the episode? Was that how the 60s does a side gag? Awful.

Characters Introduced:

Kingpin

Wilson Fisk makes his grand animated debut in this episode. I’m not gonna lie, I do like how this episode confirms Kingpin as Spider-Man’s first big bad.

Episode 23 - “Swing City”

So, does anyone else get the ick from shows or movies that show a character fantasising about a person they have a crush on? Like, I think it’s supposed to be cute or relatable, but I honestly just find it cringe and creepy.

And here we go again with Spider-Manning stopping Pete from getting to a date on time.

So this episode features an original villain pulling a page from Ultron’s playbook and raises the entirety of Manhattan into the sky. 

And the episode ends with Pete being sexist. I hate that I’m just really not surprised. Classic Peter Parker always did have incel vibes.

Episode 24 - “Criminals in the Clouds”

Starting again with a narrator, this episode continues to show how much of a prick Peter can be. Off the bat, he’s judging people, being sexist, and generally a selfish twat. I mean at least Pete’s selfishness always ends up biting him in the arse, but still, it’d be nice to actually have a likeable protagonist.

Also everyone left on that blimp absolutely died, right?

Episode 25 - “Menace from the Bottom of the World”

So that cutaway gag couple are back, why do I get the feeling they’re gonna be recurring, they ain’t even funny.

The fuck was up with the underground giant bird. Like, what the fuck is that even supposed to be? Archaeopteryx?

Not gonna lie, I am starting to feel much less engaged with these now. I think where they’ve dulled down the colour palette and put more of a focus on Peter’s bullshitery than Spider-Man’s escapades, the show just feels more moody, and honestly, boring.

Because every episode is a full 20 minutes instead of 2 ten minute stories, I’ve noticed a lot more filler. Usually in the form of minutes worth of just Spidey swinging with the backgrounds changing and music overlaid. I am so glad internet archive allows me to speed up the playback speed, because this is so fucking boring.

So far this season, with the exceptions of the Burglar and the Kingpin, every villain has been green. Why?

Episode 26 - “Diamond Dust”

A guy screaming, pretending to be a gorilla. That is all.

Episode 27 - “Spider-Man Battles the Molemen”

This is just episode 25 again, but why?

Alright, I stand corrected, Pete has been attacked by literal goblins. (🤓☝️”Erm ackshually, the Marvel wiki lists them as trolls”, nah, those are goblins, trolls are bigger) Hold the fucking phone, Pete just called them elves… My point is just this show high on something, and I just ain’t vibing with it.

Episode 28 - “Phantom from the Depths of Time”

Some big arse bugs kidnapped a load of people and Spidey stole a jet. Just the average day in New York. Despite so much weird shit going on in this episode, I really just don’t have anything to say. Actually, no, I’m gonna point out that this the only episode I’ve seen with like a “next week” type catch at the end, except the episode that its says is next is “Revolt in the Fifth Dimension”, but according to official episode listings that episode doesn’t come until season 3… I’m just confused now.

Episode 29 - “The Evil Sorcerer”

Ok, so first of all ancient wizards and shit is not what I expected with this series. Secondly, Peter you little shit, did you just call archeology dull? I actually fucking hate this man, he’s such a cunt.

Episode 30 - “Vine”

Time to be a fucking nerd. The time travel aspect of this episode takes Pete back 3 million years, this would place him in the Piacenzian age, the last stage of the Miocene epoch. Now I’m not exactly an expert of the Cenozoic, I personally spend more time researching the mesozoic, but what I can see from a very quick bit of research, the Piacenzian was a warm moment before the Ice Age began. All that to say 3 mya (million years ago) was a world dominated by mammalian megafauna, this would not include the giant lizard or bugs that attack Spider-Man.

Humorously, the Marvel wiki actually lists the time wrong for this episode, saying they travelled back 300 million years, this would place them at the very end of the Carboniferous period. You could claim it would look more accurate to the backgrounds, but even still giant lizards were not part of that ecosystem, but the giant bugs would be more fitting.

Episode 31 - “Pardo Presents”

Amazingly this episode shows Pete disappear from a date (technically) and he doesn’t get slapped for it at the end.

Episode 32 - “Cloud City of Gold”

Why do the bats have tails? Bat don’t have tails. This bothers me immensely. So I’m not exactly knowledgeable about bats, but I’m pretty sure it’s not vampire bats that use echolocation. I could be wrong, so this is another case of if you know anything about bats, please let me know if Pete’s whistling would fuck up a vampire bat. I’m aware that this episode is a city of gold type thing and I’m more focused on bats, but I’m trying to distract myself from the shit accents and fact that a fucking conquistador is the ruler of the city. Am I going to call the episode racist? No, I’m just not thrilled about a conquistador doing what they do, subjecting and tormenting, it’s not great vibes. At least Pete isn’t being racist here. Episode 9a did some serious fucking damage to my opinion of the character.

Also the golden eagle being made out of solid gold, Pete’s all like “I can’t do anything, it’s made of solid gold”, bitch it’s gold and your Spider-Man, that shit should bend like clay to him.

Episode 33 - “Neptune’s Nose Cone”

JJJ now owns a pet flying snake. That is all.

Episode 34 - “Home”

This episode features some 60s vibing. Groovy.

Other than that, the dialogue feels even more stilted than usual. Especially Pete crushing on Carol and that twat leader bitching about rules.

Also Pete’s a moron in this episode, basically talking about how he’s Spider-Man out loud. Like, seriously, he ain’t even quiet, how has noone caught onto this man yet?

Episode 35 - “Blotto”

OH NO! Watch out! It's Clive!

How horrifying!

Anyway, this show reuses so much animation is honestly distracting, but this episode in particular reused animation from itself, multiple times. I genuinely can’t tell if this was solely from the low budget or pure laziness.

Episode 36 - “Thunder Rumble”

So one of the villains of this episode is basically just a dickhead that looks like Odin, works for the Roman God of War, and has the powers of Thor, he even has Mjölnir. I’m not marking this as Thor’s first appearance, I just thought this was something of note.

Episode 37 - “Spider-Man Meets Skyboy”

Ah yes. The old trope of heroes fighting each other before realising they have a common enemy. What fun. 

Ok, but seriously how didn’t Spidey recognise Skyboy until after the helmet was removed? It doesn’t exactly cover his face.

Episode 38 - “Cold Storage”

Spider-Man got a bit chilly in this episode.

Episode 39 - “To Cage a Spider”

Off the bat, this episode establishes a couple things, one the general public of New York really hate Spider-Man. I guess they’ve been consuming too much of Jameson’s drivel. And secondly, I am genuinely surprised to see Captain Stacy defending Spider-Man’s right to privacy and not taking his mask off.

Characters Introduced:

Captain Stacy

So, officially Captain Stacy’s name in this continuity is Ned Stacy, but let’s be real here, he’s Captain George Stacy, father of Gwen Stacy. You might know who she is.

Honestly I’m just happy this season actually managed to introduce another important character right before it ends.

[jodilin65]

I put some oregano oil in my diffuser and realize I definitely suck at microblogging. I was going to do that on PB and then gather them into a single post on other sites but It’s too hard to keep track of what I’ve already covered this way and what I’ve copied to the other sites. Much easier for me to do one larger entry a day and cover multiple topics at once.

“Supreme Court to decide if emergency room doctors can perform medically necessary abortions in states that prohibit them”

Please tell me this is a joke. Why is this even up for debate and why are politicians involved in doctor-patient issues??? The Supreme Court is crazy. Of course they’re gonna tell the doctors to just let the women die. Well, any doctors that go along with this twisted psycho bullshit are just as bad and part of the problem.

I know I’ve said it before, but I can’t believe I’m seeing this sick shit in these times of all times along with the constant, everyday anti-gay/Jewish crap. I thought this country was anti-free speech, particularly when it was hateful.

The rain is pummeling down on us now. When I got up and turned off the air cleaner I could hear the wind and wind chimes. An hour or so later the rain started. It’s supposed to last for 5 or 6 hours and be in the 70s. It makes an already tired person even more tired but it’s nice to lie here and listen to the soothing sound of rain.

Tom made a phone call yesterday to get my CVS health account squared away. He said to give myself a break from the health work and let him comb my account over the weekend and figure out what’s what. Then he’ll help me navigate the account and explain the features to me since it’s kind of complex for me.

I never heard back from Galileo and don’t know yet whether or not I’m going to buy them back. This will depend on whether or not there’s a way to message someone with important but not urgent questions I may have at any time of day or night. I have a quarterly allowance of $25 to be spent at CVS on health-related stuff.

I’d say I’m almost certainly going to have to call my GYN on Monday because, despite two out of three Diflucan pills, I’m still burning. I wish to hell I knew what the cause(s) could possibly be because that would make it a lot easier to decide what to do. IDK, maybe estrogen-based cream is the answer for me. Why do all my symptoms of this shit called menopause have to be so severe? Never did I get off easy with one single symptom.

Or maybe it’s somehow connected to the WBCs in my pee. The only thing I don’t get is why no bacteria was present in past testing if I don’t have infections. Hard to believe it’s anything more serious like stones or cancer, but we’ll see if the GYN thinks I need to try a different cream or see a uro-gynecologist.

Anyway, I’m going to try to enjoy my relaxing digital party of writing and collecting more lovely nature/animal pics and try not to let the twisted world surrounding me, along with my health issues, get me down and worry me.

Decided to jump into the current challenge, after all. From what I can tell with the new and confusing interface, the rides average 11-45 miles. There are two in England, one in Portugal, one in San Francisco, one in Melbourne, and one in Singapore. There are 36 days left.

[pascalishere]

Foil: Picking right up where we left off I see. Progression feels very dynamic, even in the shorter timespan. I felt that was one of Incunabula’s weaknesses, the longer songs blew everything else out of the water tbh. This is good, but I don’t really see why this is one of their most popular tracks? I do like how the main texture gets progressively more worn out/glitched, nice touch.

Montreal: Already hooking me a lot more. The changes are so subtle and gradual, but then they suddenly just pop up in your ears? I like it. Oh, love those synths buried behind the rattling sound. This album feels a lot moodier already, I don’t know how to explain. There are so many small sounds that I can just barely hear, it’s so detailed! I might need to buy better headphones though. Ooh, really liking this last minute. Also, the mixing is excellent all around. All these beats at the end sound like they’re coming from different directions, it’s a really cool effect!

Silverside: Are those strings real? Either way, they sound fantastic! I’m curious to see how this one unfolds. Ack, that voice spooked me! Not loving how loud it is. Oh, that beat is killer against the strings, menacing! Didn’t love this one, but the last fifteen seconds are a great outro!

Slip: Oh, this is much more my speed. Sounds cute and peppy, in a way? Feels like I’m walking through the album art. Definitely my fave so far, it keeps changing while I’m not looking though! This song is doing so many things right that I’m losing track of them, help!

Glitch: Oh, so this is the progenitor for so many textures I’ve heard in electronic music before, that makes sense. Oh damnit it’s different again. Well, it still sounds great, feels like it’s speeding up! Love the knocking sound, subtle, but it adds so much. Oh, the last minute is really getting it together, love this filter(?) everything is being put through.

Piezo: Oh, I love this already. Come on, give me a dancey track! The arcade-sounding effects are doing a lot for me. Oh, I hear a big synth coming in, shits about to get p r o g r e s s i v e! Really like the tiny chirping noises. Oh cool were floating now thats rad. Is my tinnitus acting up? I can’t tell.

Nine: Oh, very funky sounds, I love it! I think this is my new favorite song overall, let’s see. Yeah, I feel like a plebeian for saying this, but Nine is hands down one of my top Autechre tracks as of right now. It’s short and sweet, but still very pretty!

Further: The twinkling sounds are so pretty, like I’m in a cave that’s dripping water from the stalactites. The beat is booming too! Was that a key change? Definitely getting eerier vibes now, very natural progression being done back there! Why is this the one I’m dancing to? Agh, there’s too much to comment on! Last three minutes are becoming very pretty. Minus the bursts of industrial noise. Actually, plus the scary noises.

Yulquen: Nice comedown after the density of Further. Very pleasant and calm sounding so far. More eerie noises, sounds like distant waves. And now a squeaky wheel? There are so many quiet sounds that I can’t tell if some of them are in my imagination or not, sounds like I’m hearing all this over the thrum of an elevator. Oh the main/introductory loop is changing in a very nice sounding way, love that sound. Damn, this last minute is seriously beautiful. How do their outros always slap?

Nil: This sounds like the beginning of a HL2 action setpiece track, I mean that in the best way possible. Love that raising and lowering synth tone to the sides. Oh what the fuck this is incredible what am I hearing? Back to the start and YEEESSSS this bit again. So beautiful. The barely audible drum hits! The knocking sounds again! The weaving synths! Everything is great. Oh, and it’s all together now, so cool!!!

Teartear: Oh this is building up to be something epic, I can tell. Everything gels so nicely together on this one it’s crazy. There’s way too much to focus on aaaaaaa. The slowdown and the speed up, you love to hear it! The drums in the second half are all fantastic. Once again, perfect track to close out on.

…I’m beginning to think that trying to have actual thoughts about this kind of music is a losing battle. I’m enjoying most of what I’m hearing, but I don’t feel like I’m smart enough to really get it. All I can say for certain is that I definitely enjoyed the second half of Amber a lot more. The first handful of tracks were a bit too skeletal for my preference. Slip and Piezo onwards felt much more “complete”, I think. Maybe the album will grow on me, we’ll see. Tri Repetae, I’m coming for your ass tomorrow morning.

[h0neypjm]

Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3 

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion. 

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation. 

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea. 

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks. 

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout. 

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave. 

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter. 

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off. 

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex? 

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-” 

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy. 

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.” 

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away. 

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.” 

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug. 

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.” 

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.  

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully. 

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it. 

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it. 

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit. 

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?” 

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing” 

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.” 

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.” 

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope. 

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship. 

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears. 

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward. 

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath. 

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man. 

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?” 

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face. 

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes. 

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing. 

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye. 

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano. 

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water. 

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people. 

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide. 

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough. 

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling. 

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls. 

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light. 

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.” 

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws. 

“I'm sorry.” 

He says it genuinely. 

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot. 

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace. 

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation. 

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then. 

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick. 

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.   

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate. 

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman. 

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook. 

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives. 

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately. 

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now. 

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes. 

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?” 

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving. 

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket. 

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in. 

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes. 

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.” 

Inhale, exhale. 

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?” 

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs. 

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness. 

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds. 

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3 

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae​ @emrysts @inspinkyring​​

[yourmcu]

Forgotten (CONTINUED VERSION)

Pairings: Tony Stark x daughter!reader, Peter Parker x Stark!reader (platonic)

Request:

Hello i love your story could you do angsty tony x daughter reader. Wherein the reader has a twin brother and Tony and the avengers prefer the twin brother and becaus of that, the reader became rebel and badass. She always getting trouble and almost drop out student. The avengers and her father were seem disappointed and dont know what to do. Not until the reader involve into car accident and she's critical injured. The reader also slipped to coma. Everyone is devastated about the reader conditione. And they realized that the reader only rebel because she wants to get attention from them. It depends to you what the end come, I just want a full angst this week and I hope you dont mind my English. Anyway I hope your alright.

A/n: y’all wanted it, I finished it :)

Word count: 3,984

(more notes at the end!)

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort? bad writing of an anxiety attack, accident, knife, hospitals

read it on ao3!

gif not mine! credits to the owner^^

Being a genius/billionaire/superhero’s kid doesn’t always sound nice like it usually does.

You were one of the Stark twins, the other half being your brother, Ethan.

The both of you showed signs that you inherited the commonly known Stark trait (intelligence) at a young age. But Tony mostly focused on his son, showing him all his inventions and gadgets, teaching him everything he knew while you on the other hand, were being babysat by Happy or Pepper, sometimes Rhodey.

You tried so hard to get your father’s attention but he always had his excuses:

“I don’t have time for that.”

“I’m busy with Ethan right now.”

“Maybe later.”

At first you didn’t mind if your brother got all the praise and attention. It wasn’t until your mid-teens that you really started to feel left out and ignored.

You were left to frown when the other Avengers never found anything interesting about you, just like Tony did. They all liked Ethan better. The topic of him being the next Iron Man when Tony retires is getting exhausting.

There was this one time when Tony announced that they were all going out to dinner since Ethan got, yet again, a full set of A’s on his report card.

“Did you get my card?” You tapped on Tony’s shoulder lightly.

He gave you a side glance, “ah shoot, I forgot. I’ll go get it tomorrow.” Then returned his attention to your brother.

But he ended up forgetting again the next day and you had to convince your teacher to give it to you instead. Your marks had A’s, but littered with B’s as well, of course that was no match for your brother’s perfect marks.

And that sort of scenario wasn’t just a one time thing, Tony forgets to pick up your report card every. single. time. The messed up part was you and Ethan literally attended the same school, he was just in a more advanced class than you.

As time passed, Tony went from ignoring you to getting annoyed and pissed at you for everything you did. In his eyes, you were always in the wrong. And the reason? You didn’t know.

“Dad? Can I borrow Bruce for a minute?” You knocked on the glass door of his lab to get him to look up.

He didn’t, but responded, “kinda busy with him right now.”

You looked at your fractured arm, regretting your decisions. “W-well, Ethan was training with Nat, and... and he wanted to try the new moves he learned on me. He went a little hard and - I think my arm’s broken, I just wanted Bruce to check it out-”

“Goddammit!” He shouted after you heard a glass shatter. Bruce covered his face with palms, muttering an ‘oh no’.

Tony glared at you, striding to where you were standing. All that was left for you to do was to brace yourself for what was about to come. “See, this is why we never let you do anything with the team,” he spat. “That right there?”-he pointed to your arm-“that’s on you. Things go wrong because you’re in the way!”

“I’m... I’m sorry-”

“Just get out of here.”

Your arm remained untreated after that.

Then Peter Parker came into the picture. Friendly guy, he was actually nice to you. Him and Ethan got along right away when Tony first recruited him. The fact that he treated Peter better than you made you even more miserable. It made you think he never wanted a daughter in the first place.

You first met Peter when he accidentally entered your room without warning, thinking it was the bathroom. Cliche, but that’s what happened.

“It’s on the first door to your other left,” you stated.

“Yeah, yeah okay, thanks,” he turned around to leave but stopped to look at you again. “I’m Peter Parker, by the way.”

“Y/N Stark.”

Peter’s eyes lit up at your last name. “I... I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter - no offense! It’s just-”

You sighed and waved him off. He didn’t even notice the similarities you had with your twin. “It’s fine. I get that a lot.”

After many events of being, to be blunt, treated like shit, you finally had enough. You neglected your studies, only went to school when you felt like it (which was rare). No one cared your grades anyway, so what’s the point? You became a whole new person, you surrounded yourself with the wrong sort of people, causing you to dabble into smoking and alcohol.

Since you were always in trouble, you could recite Cap’s detention speech at school by heart now.

The principal of your school wanted to see Tony to talk about your behavior. Normally he’d make an excuse not to go if it wasn’t that important but he got flooded with messages from the school, so he couldn’t say no.

You had your legs crossed, sitting across from Tony who had his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the principal. For some reason you didn’t feel nervous. “Y/N barely attends her classes. I’ve seen every attendance. Are you aware of this, Mr. Stark?”

Tony only maintained his usual relaxed posture and avoided your gaze.

“Some students have also seen her smoke in school grounds. We gave her a few weeks suspension for it, but it doesn’t look like she’s learned her lesson.” They pulled out a couple boxes of cigarettes from the desk drawer. “We found these in her locker.”

“You went into my locker?” You shot up from your seat. “You can’t just do that!”

Tony cleared his throat and got up, gripping your wrist. “I’ll take it from here - will that be all?”

On the way out he doesn’t say a word to you, only that his grip on your wrist got tight as you near the car.

“So,” he started the car. His voice was calm, but it screamed that you were in deep trouble. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

You sighed and slouched in the passenger’s seat, crossing your arms. “I’m... sorry you had to know...?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna be honest with you here,” Tony still doesn’t look at you. “When I found out I had two kids, I got worried about Ethan.”

You let out a snort. Of course he would.

“I didn’t want him ending up like me. But surprise surprise, my daughter did instead.”

“I’m not ‘ending up’ like you, Dad-”

“Then what do you call - this,” he referred to you. “What, you’re just gonna waste your life, drop out of school? You’re a fucking mess, Y/N, and here I thought I raised you right. Sometimes I think: why can’t you just be like your brother?” He had a hard grip on the steering wheel as he drove, the way he spoke affected the speed of the car greatly.

You opened your mouth to speak but you couldn’t fine the exact words you wanted to say. “I... well, I’m sorry I’m not a goody two shoes like him!”

“That’s not what I-”

“Please, that’s exactly what you meant.”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “Look, I’m grounding you until you pull yourself together, understand?” And he did. He gave new orders to Friday when the both of you got home. You weren’t allowed to leave the compound without Tony’s permission.

Were you giving up that easily? Of course not.

You were on your laptop for the rest of the day, hacking into Friday’s system, the security to the elevator and the entrance. That night, your executed your plan and everything went smoothly.

“This is why you never underestimate me,” you sighed, deactivating the hack once you were out of the building.

Your friend who was picking you up was already waiting a few blocks away from the compound. “I hope you’re cool with me staying over for a couple days.”

“If a bunch of Avengers come and destroy my place to look for you, I’m not going to be friends with you anymore.”

You laughed at out, “oh trust me, they don’t care.”

----

The next day no one noticed your absence, nobody did for another two days. Tony just assumed you were mad about your punishment, so he didn’t think of it much.

Not until Peter came to the compound on the third day, wanting to hang out with you.

“Whatcha got there, Pete?” Ethan asked.

“Star Wars movies. I wanna watch them with Y/N - she could use some company, don’t you think?”

The older Stark twin shrugged, “yeah, I guess she could.”

Peter then headed to the elevator and stopped at the floor where your room was. He knocked on your door and waited a bit, after a few minutes of silence he knocked again, still nothing.

“Y/N? Is it okay if I come in?” He called out. No response. He hesitated a bit, for all he knew you were probably changing or something, or you could be in danger. He went to open the door anyway. “I’m coming in, I’ll close my eyes just to be-”

To Peter’s surprise, your room was empty.

----

You were at a 711 parking lot, waiting for your friends who were buying supplies for a house party. You gave them your wallet, not really caring about anything anymore. Your phone was starting to pile up with messages and missed calls from Tony, Edward and Peter, occasionally from the others as you scrolled pass more.

Without thinking you threw your phone to the ground, cracking the screen, breaking it completely. They’d be able to track you through it now that they know you ran away. You really had no intention of coming back. You weren’t wanted, what’s the point of going back?It’s early but you’ve had a few drinks already. You weren’t sure if breaking your phone was a good idea but there’s one thing you’re sure: you didn’t care anymore.

You didn’t have to turn your head to see who just arrived and ambushed your friends inside the store. They ran out and left you behind. The sound of webs coming out of his shooters was enough for you to tell.

“You shouldn’t be here, Peter,” you sighed defeatedly.

Peter gently took a seat next to you, not removing his mask since you were in public and handed your wallet back. “I don’t understand why you left.”

He took in your awful state. His suit scanned how intoxicated you were, estimated how many cigarette packets you’ve had. His frown deepened at the information.

“I care about you. We all do. Mr. Stark’s not going to stop the search party until you come home.”

You rolled your eyes at the term. “Stupid search party – pathetic – I’m not coming home anymore, Pete-” you slurred and tried to get up but stumbled back, almost twisting your ankle but fell to Peter’s side. “Ow.”

He sighed, struggling to get ahold of you since you always pulled away.

“Stop being so stubborn, okay?”

“If you don’t like my stubborn fucking ass then maybe you should just leave,” you stated. “I’m not wanted there. I got the message. I didn’t run away just to be fucking found.”

Peter stared at you for a moment. He didn’t know why you got grounded in the first place, how you got here and why you didn’t want to go back home. There was something off in the father-daughter relationship, he knew that, but it was news to him that it was that bad. That bad for you to waste your life, to run away. He always thought Mr. Stark was an awesome parent, the way he was treating Ethan, and him…

“It’s unfair,” you ranted. “God, if you only knew how pathetic I feel whenever he tells me off. I’m always annoying to him - not just to him, to the whole team, I’m always wrong in everything I do and it’s honestly tiring? What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

You went on rambling while Peter tried to comfort and deny every negative thing that came out of your mouth. He didn’t believe any of it, but the way everyone’s been treating you. He hated that he didn’t notice sooner. He could’ve defended you.

“I have nothing against you, I really don’t,” you sighed. “But you should be grateful they’re treating you perfectly.” You got up and strode to the opposite direction, mentally cursing because your friends ditched you and you has nowhere to go, phone destroyed and everything.

But you were staying true to your word: you didn’t have any plans to go back to the compound. You were going to figure your life out on your own.

“Y/N, I… I’m not leaving you alone out here!”

You were so fed up of the spider-ling. How good he was, how perfect, how Tony clearly wanted him more than you, how he always wanted to do the right thing, because none of you expected what happened next when he went to grab your shoulder. The action was so sudden that it Peter didn’t have time to avoid it.

Knife, shoulder, really deep.

Maybe it was just how wasted you were, because he knew you would never do anything like that.

“You’re really annoying, Parker,” you muttered, not wasting any more time watching him stumble out of shock and pain, sprinting across the streets.

With his uninjured arm, he shot webs while trying to pull the knife (the blade wasn’t even visible anymore on how deep it was) out of his shoulder. There was a loud bang, and Peter never sprinted so fast in his life, not caring less about the pain and blood, because what mattered most was your safety. When he got there, you were far from safe.

-----

A week went by. And during those seven days Tony was on edge, I mean, how can be calm at a time like that?

Peter managed to show up at the compound the same night, breathless and shaky. His state made everyone worried but he wasted no time telling Tony what happened. He got you to the hospital, making sure you were being sorted out right before leaving to break the news.

Tony didn’t think twice and went to the hospital where you were admitted, not listening to Peter’s apologies and leaving Steve to sort everyone out on what they should do.

They didn’t expect you to show signs of waking up after only a week since the accident got you mangled up, it was mostly a blow to the head and as expected, you slipped into a coma.

Right, what happened: an awful timing really, not sure if Peter’s the one to blame but he accidentally stuck you to the ground with his webs, and it just so happened a car was driving at a fast speed – there you go.

Tony made sure you got the best treatment possible. He even went and asked Strange if he could do all the surgeries needed, but he declined, claiming he couldn’t anymore despite the sympathy he felt inside. Instead he asked the best doctors he knew, but still helped out sometimes in any way he could.

You took a breath, trying to open your eyes but the blinding lights of your room and them almost feeling as if they were glued shut from not being open for so long prevented you. You also tried moving your hands, only to feel a warm one rest on top of it, you finally opened your eyes.

“You’re awake,” Tony mumbled, rubbing a thumb on the back of your palm soothingly. “You’re awake and you’re okay.”

“Mr. Stark?” Peter called out, spotting his mentor sitting outside the room where they were doing the final surgery on you. It was his first time visiting, seeing as the knife wound was worse than he thought. “I’m so sorry, I-“

“What happened?” Was the only thing Tony said, not looking up to look at the kid. Peter stood there for a moment but told him everything that happened.

After that and after he made sure you were okay, resting in your room and everything, he let Natasha look after you for the night and headed back to the compound.

The kid would never lie to him but he had to see it all for himself. The Spider-Man suit caught everything through the baby monitor protocol. From when he arrived to the convenient store, when you told him countless of times that you weren’t coming back, and when your drunk self ranted about what you felt.

“What the fuck do I have to do just to feel loved and wanted?”

“He seemed to like both of us equally when we were younger,” you sniffled. “Of course he would, but… my brother just turned out to be special and talented and,” you frowned, “he’s all Tony ever wanted for a kid. Maybe I reminded him of the chick he fucked, I don’t know – must be it, right?”

“Y/N, you’re just as special as-” Peter tried to reason but you threw him a glare. Tony could see the pain and heartbreak in your bloodshot, tired eyes. One that said you didn’t want to hear anything like it anymore. You didn’t want to believe it.

“The thing is, they only want you when you’re gone. Missing. Dead,” you shrugged. “I can take a hint, you know? My only family hates me. My only family doesn’t want me. Now you – all of them – are looking for me… why?” Peter flinched at the loudness of your voice. You truly were broken.

Tony fast forwarded, it didn’t clearly show how you got hit, but he had enough anyway. He wanted to make things right with you. He could only hope that you make pass this, hoping that you’ll let him make it up to you.

“It’s not too late, you know,” Steve said from the entrance to his lab. “Y/N is strong. She’ll make it.”

“Why am I not dead?” You croaked, looking at your father with an anxious expression. You letting out another shaky breath as you struggled to move and look around. “I should be dead. Why am I here-”

“Take it easy-”

“Don’t you understand?” You felt your throat aching, breath quickening. “I don’t want to be here!”

“No, you’re okay. Y/N you’re okay,” Tony tried to calm you down when he saw the lines in your heart monitor go up and down in rapid pace. 

“I’m not - no I’m not - not okay,” you struggled to let out. It felt like you were choking on your own breath, getting harder and harder to breathe by the minute, soon tears started to prick your eyes. “I don’t want to be here!”

“Tony, what's going on?” Steve bursted into the room with an alarmed but calm expression.

“Call Strange. Anyone.” He told the captain but his eyes never left you. He rubbed a part of your arm that wasn’t injured soothingly in attempt to calm you down. “Just breathe for me, okay? I’m here and you’re okay.”

Something about the softness and encouraging look in his eyes made you nod eventually and follow his breathing patterns. He held a glass of water for you to drink, holding your struggling hand softly to get it out of the way.

He’s never looked at you like that before.

Most of the time he ignored you, most of the time he looked at you at anger or annoyance when you’ve fucked something up.

“There we go, we okay now?” You looked away and nodded lightly. That was enough for him. Tony wanted to let you know how sorry he was so bad, but thought against it, at least for now. He was scared you might start freaking out again.

Stephen entered the room with the doctor, the other Avengers following closely behind. The amount of people in the room overwhelmed you a bit, but you were strangely calm because of how your father’s acting. Soft and caring, it made you feel safe.

Both doctors concluded that you had some sort of amnesia. In English, your past memories were blotchy, all of them even from your childhood. Again because of the blow to the head it was already expected. But you remembered the recent ones clearly, which was the reason why you avoided looking at Peter and his patched up arm.

Which also meant it was possible you didn’t remember all of the pain you felt concerning your family. It was unfair on your part.

Strange insisted that you stay a few more days, or one more week, just to run tests and make sure you get enough medicine and stuff.

They decided to see how bad your memory loss was.

“I did that to you,” you still refused to look at Peter completely. “I’m sorry, Peter.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Peter gave you a smile.

You moved to the next person. Red hair, seemed to give off a friendly but civil nature. “Natasha? You’re Natasha.”

The Russian merely smiled and crossed her arms.

“Steve,” you stated, moving to the next person. “You always read old books in the kitchen.”

Steve chuckled, nodding to confirm.

“Ethan,” you smiled as you looked at your twin. He gave you a small wave even if he felt as guilty as Tony about everything even if he wasn’t the one to blame.

You stared longer at the next person, almost shoulder length dark brown hair, he’s wearing a jacket to cover his metal arm but you knew it was still there.

“Ducky?”

Peter let out a giggle, so did you brother.

“It’s Bucky, doll,” Bucky smiled, covering his face with his hand to suppress a chuckle as the rest laughed.

“Oh, right, I’m sorry,” you let out a weak giggle yourself.

You meet Tony’s eyes again, the softness still there.

“Dad,” you stated. “You’re my dad. Tony.”

No, you didn’t completely forget how he treated you. You knew he was annoyed with you, which lead you to think that you did something that made him act that way. “Am I bad?”

Tony’s hopeful expression dimmed. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “You’re mad at me, I just… I guess it’s just not clear on why.”

Steve thought it would be best for everyone to head out for a bit so he ushered everyone out of the room except for your brother who took a seat at the corner.

“About that, it’s about time we talked, yeah?” Tony sat on a chair backwards beside your bed. It made you nervous, but you were reassured. “You’re not in trouble, don’t worry.”

He exhaled, resting an arm on the top rail. “You deserve so much better. I should’ve treated you better,” you opened your mouth to ask but he continued. “Look, I haven’t been fair with you and it’s a problem. You’re smart, talented and beautiful. I figured you needed to hear it more often because it’s true. What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. I really am.”

Your bottom lip involuntarily trembled. “You – you really mean that?”

“From the bottom of my heart.”

You sighed, a genuine smile plastered on your face. “Thank you. And I’m sorry if I was a pain in the ass-“

“You never were,” Tony shook his head. “You always did your best and I really should have acknowledged it more. Give me a second chance?”

“Of course.”

Tony smiled, getting up and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead.

Everything in life was so much better after all that. Tony treated you and Ethan equally, same goes for Peter. The other Avengers were nicer, not the kind of nice that was almost fake, but it was genuine. All of them were. And you were thankful.

----

TAGLIST: @contanto-que-voce-me-queira @angeldreineedshelp @legendarymcnuggies @zoeyserpentluck @vienmiaprendere @alainabooks143 @hessogxlden

DID ANYONE MISS ME? BC I MISSED THIS PLACE

I highly doubt anyone’s still waiting for this, it was an unplanned hiatus I’M SO SORRY but I decided to post anyway :))

also I hope this wasn’t underwhelming, that’s one of the reasons why I was hesitant to do this but I hope its good heh (I’ve included the parts from my first post as well, just so it feels like a full fic)

WAIT I ALSO HIT 300 FOLLOWERS? INSANE. THANK YOU. I MEAN IT.

[myckicade]

Prompt: Ok so we all know Coco is touch starved, and would be clingy af in a relationship. What about Coco x wife!reader, while she’s trying to do basic errands/chores and Coco is her shadow?

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one. I really have. Hee hee. I just adore Coco. <3 . This piece sort of follows the story of the last two Coco x Reader pieces I have written, but it will stand-alone, just fine. And, I swear, these things just have a mind of their own. I can continue to apologize for length, and content, but, in the end... I let the story tell itself. ;) . <3 .

As a warning, I come from Vermont, where we have a plastic bag ban. Last I knew, California was the first state to have one. I don’t know how that would translate to Santo Padre, but… When I mention fabric bags, I mean reusables, and the ban is why. ^^;;;;.

Title: Worthwhile

Teaser: He’s a little rough, your Coco, foul-mouthed, and quick to anger. Untrusting, and bitchier than a woman, on his best day. But, once you have his love, you have it. All of it.

“Okay…” you murmur, slowly, eyes scanning over the paper in front of you. Fifteen items, nothing crazy. Shouldn’t take you more than an hour, tops, and that includes travel to and from the store. “I think I’ve got everything we need… And, specials included your beer, and those little frozen cream puffs.”

Beside you, Coco groans, deep and guttural. “Fuck, I love those things.”

You giggle, but keep reading. Your man is too damn cute. “Feminine products.”

“Do those count as special?” Coco genuinely sounds thoughtful, as he steps up behind you, where you are leaning over the counter top. He wraps his arms around your waist, chin coming to rest on your shoulder. “Kinda’ a necessity, ain’t they?”

Tipping your head, you glance to your husband. Seriously. This man is a treasure. “Why don’t you run for political office?” you tease, pleased when Coco chuckles.

“Yeah, my record’ll look great, on the campaign trail.”

You shrug. “You can tackle pink tax, and tax evasion, at the same time.”

Coco grins, and steals a peck off your lips. “What else you got on there, muñeca?”

“Hmmm, let’s see…” You turn back to your list, tapping the pen against your lips, thoughtfully. Spying the next item on it, you try not to let out another giggle. He’s not going to like this one. “Letty asked if we could have that cauliflower pizza thing for dinner, tonight.”

As expected, this groan is decidedly not from food lust. “Fuckin’ vegetarians. When the hell is she gonna’ get over this shit?”

“It’s just a phase, Coco,” you remind him, for the… Well, honestly, you’ve lost track. It started shortly after the wedding, Letty’s change in diet, and you’re still not convinced the two aren’t related. You’re just not entirely sure how. But, two months in, and she’s still looking healthy, so you won’t send up any alarms. “It’s very popular at her high school, right now.”

Coco scoffs, disgusted. “When the hell’d she start copyin’ other people, anyway? My girl ain’t no follower.”

The words send a shot straight to your heart. He’s a little rough, your Coco, foul-mouthed, and quick to anger. Untrusting, and bitchier than a woman, on his best day. But, once you have his love, you have it. All of it. The love he has for Leticia is the greatest proof. They may carry on like cats and dogs, but when push comes to shove, there is nothing they won’t do for one another. My girl. It brings a warmth to your soul, and a smile to your lips.

You shake it off, enough to formulate a response. “She’s figuring out how to be her own woman. Trying new things.” You shrug, not wanting to make a big deal of it. You were Letty’s age, once, of course. And, a girl, to boot. Some things, Coco just won’t be able to understand. “It’s a process.” He hums, still disgruntled, but doesn’t push out another word. “You want anything else?” you ask, holding up your list. “I’ve gotta’ get going, before I run into the football widows.”

Before you can even take a step away, Coco tightens his arms around you. “You sure you gotta’ go, though?” he asks, leaning in to brush his lips against your neck. “With the house all to ourselves, like this?”

“If I don’t go,” you start, as Coco’s touches gain intent, becoming teasing kisses. Damn him. It feels nice, you won’t lie, but there are other things on your mind, right now. Priorities.

You’re just… having trouble remembering what they are.

Oh. Yeah. Shopping.

“If I don’t go, we won’t have anything for dinner.”

Another kiss, accompanied by a barely-there swipe of tongue. You shiver, and Coco moves his lips to your ear. “We can order in,” he whispers, breath so invitingly warm against your skin.

Oh, this asshole.

“And, what are we supposed to have for breakfast, tomorrow?” you try, again. “Half an Eggo, and a pack of Skittles?”

Coco cuddles you closer, again. “Ain’t you never heard about livin’ on love, baby?” Some of his smoothest work, that is. And, it’s almost convincing. Almost. You can imagine the afternoon ahead, if you give in. Your clothes will come off, and won’t be back on until the last second, before Letty walks back through the front door. By that time, you’ll be too tired to roll your ass off the bed, let alone go grocery shopping. And, you promised Letty you’d talk Coco into that cauliflower pizza.

“Great as that sounds,” you agree, preparing to capitalize on the truth. You ease yourself away from Coco’s stubborn hold, and give him one more smooch, just to soften the blow to come. “I don’t think Letty will appreciate the sentiment.”

A third groan. You must be going for a record. “C’mon, (y/n).” Oh, he’s whining. It’s so cute, it’s unreal. “We’ll find some place that delivers that rabbit food shit.”

Unfortunately for Coco, you’re already grabbing your bag. Lucky for you. You’re still two seconds from giving him what he wants. (He just doesn’t need to know so). “I’ll be back in a while.” God willing. “If you think of anything else, call my cell.” You rush out the front door, and don’t look back. If you see the look on your husband’s face, you know you’re as good as done.

*

Well, what the shit? Coco stares at the front door as it closes, you on the wrong fucking side of it. His arms are at his sides, palms turned toward the ceiling. That went so well. He kind of can’t believe you just walked away, like that. Left him alone, and wanting. In your big, empty house.

He probably should have volunteered to tag along, instead of just chasing you off.

Fuck.

Glancing around, Coco tries to find something to do. Something to clean, at the very least. But, that’s the trouble with having moved in with you, after the wedding, he supposes. Ain’t nothing to tidy up. Not that the three of you don’t have possessions. They’re all just in their proper places. Probably Leticia’s doing, in the end. He’d had a long talk with her, before the move, that she absolutely has to keep her shit where it belongs. Your house isn’t like their house. There aren’t burn marks in the carpet, or gouges in the coffee table. Dishes go in the damned dishwasher, not left to pile up on the counter, or in the sink. Beds get made. Laundry gets folded, and put away. No more wrinkled heaps in the clothes basket. So far, the kid’s been doing good. Real good.

Coco, though? He’s never felt so unnerved in his life.

It was different when he just visited. Spent a night or two, here or there. He’d almost felt at home, then, stupid as it sounds. At home, with the knowledge he wasn’t staying. But, now? Now, the reality has settled in, and he feels so-so… out of place. There’s so much he’s struggling to adjust to.

You have a purified water system installed under the sink, where Coco is used to buying bottled water.

You have a dining room, where Coco and Letty are used to eating on the couch.

You have an extended cable package, whatever the fuck that is.

You kind of have it all, here, certainly by comparison to what Coco is used to. The best of everything. Which really makes him wonder – not for the first time – what the hell you’re doing with a dirt-poor biker for a husband? You’ve had this conversation, on multiple occasions, and you’ve explained yourself, every time. But, this time… This time, you’re not around to give that speech. You’re not around to hold him, and kiss his face, and reassure him in a way that only you can. No, you’re at the grocery store, shopping for Coco, and his kid, which was apparently a better offer than staying home with him.

Oh, nope. Nope, he’s doing it, again. He can feel it. You love him, he reminds himself. You’ve got his ring on your finger, his last name, and – God-willing – his baby in your belly. By choice. All by choice.

Coco takes a deep breath, in. Lets it back out, slowly. Tries not to get sick, for all the nerves coming up to greet him. He wraps one arm around his own torso, free hand moving up to cover his mouth.

Fuck, he hopes you get back, soon.

*

You let out a deep sigh, as you park your car in the garage. Oh, it is so good to be home, at long-last. Talk about Old Home Week. You’d run into everyone, and his brother, at the grocery store. Shopping had taken nearly twice as long as you’d meant for it to, and you just know Coco must be losing his mind, by now. You hate to think about it, in such terms, but, sometimes… Well, sometimes, Coco reminds you of a new puppy. You can’t really leave him alone, without some kind of separation anxiety creeping up on him.

Ah, well. At least he isn’t ripping down the drapes, and shredding the couch cushions.

You blink. Well. That you know of.

Shaking your head, you climb out of the car, mentally preparing to unload armloads of bags. Maybe, if you really, really try, today will be the day you can finally get all twenty bags in, in one trip.

Right. And, shortly thereafter, you can have both forearms set, and casted. Be a real turn-on, in the bedroom.

You’ve managed to grab half a dozen bags, when the door to the mud room opens. “Hey, don’t grab too many!” Letty warns, as she comes hopping down the steps. “Let us help!”

Glancing up, you smile. For having had such a rough start, Letty can be a sweet girl. You know she gets that from her father. “Well, thank you,” you reply, resting a few, fabric handles onto her outstretched hands.

Letty grins, lowering her hands to her sides, before leaning in. “Did you talk him into it?” she whispers, conspiratorially.

You snicker, and whisper back, “He isn’t getting a choice. He’s outnumbered.”

“Yes!” Her hiss of victory is hardly subtle, catching Coco’s attention as he pokes his head out the door.

“You two plottin’ against me, again?”

“Yes,” you and Letty reply, in unison, leading you to erupt into a fit of giggles.

Coco is all grins. “’Course, you are.” He strides closer, he and Letty dancing around one another as she moves into the house. You lean into the car, and retrieve a few more bags. If Coco’s out here, he might as well assist. He’s peering into the car, once you stand back up, and lets out a low whistle. “Damn, (y/n)! You buy out the whole store, or what?”

“Hardly,” you reply, dryly. You hold up your hands, offering Coco the bags. “Here you go.”

“Oh, don’t mind if I do.” Thankfully, your hold on the bags is solid. Instead of grabbing the groceries, Coco’s hands are suddenly groping all over you. One hand is settled firmly at your ass, the other sliding into your hair, at the back of your head. He wastes no time diving in for a slow, deep kiss, and, damn, does his timing suck. He could have at least let you put the bags down, first. The contact makes you tingle, and has you regretting your decision not to stay home. Coco pulls back, after a few seconds, and hums. “Mm. Best delivery ever.”

You can’t help the small snort of amused laughter that leaves your throat. “Good try, Coco,” you praise, easing back far enough to offer him the bags, again. The look of disappointment on his face is just pitiful. “I’m not banging you in the garage.”

He has the grace to mock gasp. “I’d never!” It’s a crock, and you both know it. He looks too amused to be repentant, and you look too aware to be angry. You just raise your hands, slightly, in a third offer. Coco sighs. “All right. All right.” He takes the bags from your hands.

“Thank you.” You grab another load for yourself, rounding the open car door to follow Coco’s lead, into the house. One more trip for each of you, and you should have it covered. So much for only buying fifteen items.

Coco might be right about buying out the store.

*

Watching from the dining room, Coco has a good view of you and Letty unpacking the last of the groceries. Damn kid, she’d thrown him out, about ten minutes prior.

“Less groping, more helping, Coco,” Letty had warned him, after he’d tried to pin you against the sink.

It had been his last warning. Now, he’s been banished. Not the worst thing in the world, not really. Over the last few weeks, he’s really learned that there are some tasks he’s not so fond of. Pruning roses… Yeah, he’s pretty sure you’ll never let him do that, again. And, hey, nobody told him what to fill the bird feeder with. Unpacking groceries goes on that list, somewhere between line-drying laundry, and a streak-free mirror. He’s not sure why. Goodness knows, it makes him feel like a kid at Christmas, most times. Since being with you, though…

Since being with you, he feels like he’s taking advantage of something.

Yes, groceries are a strange place to let that feeling land, but he can’t help it. Coco’s been responsible for feeding himself since before he cares to remember. The only time anyone provided his meals was during deployment, and half that shit barely passed for edible. You, though… You keep the house stocked with more food than he’s seen anywhere, outside of a corner market. Letty always has options to take to school, and there’s a nutritious dinner on the table, almost every night. (Some nights, he actually does win the battle for delivery). If Coco goes on a run, you send him along with snacks for the road. And, yeah, he kinda’ likes that. He also likes the energy bars you picked out for him, last week. Something with cherries, and dark chocolate. He wonders, for a second, if you picked up any more. Come in handy during his mid-week trip outta’ town.

Coco blinks. Then, he does it again, just for good measure. That’s it. That’s what’s so fucking weird about this whole thing.

It’s you.

Okay, no, it’s not you, you. But, it’s you. It’s you, taking care of him. It’s you, seeing to his needs. Letty’s needs. It’s you, being his wife, his partner. It’s you, slotting into the place of role-model for his teenaged daughter. Welcoming them into your home. Not treating it like it’s your home. It’s you, being so fucking perfect for him, it’s taken his mind all this time to catch up with reality.

Coco doesn’t get perfect. Perfect doesn’t want him.

Except, now, it does.

Before he knows what he’s doing, Coco strides into the kitchen. He doesn’t wait for you to put the box of pasta in the cupboard. He just takes it from your hand, ignoring your confused look, as he tosses it onto the counter.

“Coco!” Letty admonishes, but it’s no use. He’s already lifting you off the floor, arms around your perfect backside. The kid gives a long-suffering sigh, he hears it, but pays it no mind.

Nothing – nothing – is going to keep him from holding you in his arms.

Your own arms go around Coco’s neck, and you smile down at him, surprise still lingering in your eyes. “Uhm… Hi, there.”

Coco grins. “Hey, muñeca.” Leaning up, he pecks you on the lips.

“Can I help you with something?” you ask, to which Coco shakes his head. Closes his eyes, as your fingers play in his hair.

“Nah. Got all I need.”

*

Pulling a package of mixed vegetables from the half-unpacked shopping bag, Letty rolls her eyes. You two… God, you’re gross. Coco always has his hands on you, no matter what you’re trying to do. It’s a wonder you don’t carry a damned fly swatter around. Actually, it’s a wonder you ever accomplish anything. He’s always smooching, and smiling, and snuggling at you. It’s disgusting. It’s pathetic.

It’s so damned cute, it’s sickening.

Really, Letty’s enjoying seeing Coco so happy. Like, genuinely happy. Not the false pride he carries around with his kutte. He’s more relaxed, nowadays. He drinks less, and he spends more time at home, both of which mean he’s not hanging around with those skanks at the clubhouse. He eats more, he’s healthier… Nothing to complain about, there.

And, hey, she has no complaints about you, either. You’re pretty cool, all-around. A woman who takes care of herself, and her family, and doesn’t bitch about either one. You’re not using Coco for money, or status, none of the shit she’s always been worried her father would fall into. There aren’t arguments, every night, not even between herself and Coco, as of late. No hostilities, nothing to avoid the house over. Just good dinners, and movies, and a new fish tank in her room. (Okay, so, you’d earned some major points with that birthday gift. She hadn’t actually expected to get one, when she’d mentioned it). For the first time, she understands what a peaceful, happy family feels like. It feels nice. It feels like home.

Glancing back to where Coco now has you perched on the counter top, stealing the most syrupy-sweet smooches… Letty can’t help but smile. Home is A-okay by her.

*

The sound of the air conditioner humming in the bedroom usually lulls you right to sleep. Tonight, it’s just providing you with white noise, a low background track to your thoughts. You don’t mind, not really. It gives you a few minutes to reflect on the day that’s just ended. To plan your day, tomorrow. To weave your fingers through Coco’s hair, and listen to him breathe. That, alone, makes it worthwhile.

Coco has been asleep against your shoulder for nearly an hour, now. Your arms are wrapped around him, comfortably, his own around your waist. You’d urged him up to bed, after he’d fallen asleep on the couch, his head in your lap. He’d snoozed from the middle of the movie, to the end of the nightly news report. Letty had tsked, and complained that no one had any business, whatsoever, in falling asleep during Zombieland. (How he’d stayed asleep was still a wonder to you, both, for how hard you’d been laughing at Tallahassee). With your fingers in his hair, Coco had been blissfully unaware for a couple of hours.

Glancing down, you take in the sight of your husband’s sleeping face. He looks so damn peaceful, the kind you’d outright murder to preserve for him. Coco’s still struggling with sleep, and relaxation, even though you’d hoped it would ease up, once your nuptials had passed. Most of it, you know will never go away. Anxiety doesn’t have a magic wand, or some perfect little on/off switch. And, all things considered, today wasn’t a terrible day. You’d been able to leave the house, with minimal panic on Coco’s part. Granted, it had taken extra time to get the groceries put away, and dinner made, but… You understand, as much as you are able to, that Coco needs the reassurances. It doesn’t cost you anything to carve a few moments from the day, every here and there, to give him what he needs.

Okay, so it did cost you that first batch of pancakes, this morning. They’d burned on the stove, and set off the smoke alarms, when he’d insisted on a dance through the living room. But, Coco loved the song you’d been playing on your Spotify, so there was really no denying him.

Oh, and… Yeah, you’d missed that phone call from the bank, the week before. Your husband had slipped up next to you, on the porch swing, and snuggled you to within an inch of your life. An easy fix, and you still got the business loan, but…

And, sure, you’ve been late to work, on numerous occasions. Coco has a habit of sneaking into your morning shower. And, after that… Well, hell, you own the company. It’s not like you have to explain to the boss that you’re late to your shift, on account of baby-dancing. (Fucking forums).

Point is, you’re more than happy to take care of Coco’s emotional needs. It may take you an extra hour to pay your bills. Daily tidying may have become every-other-day-if-you’re-lucky tidying. And, your ass may have gone numb, tonight, while he slept on your thigh. During which time, you could have loaded the dishwasher. Taken out the trash. Any number of tasks that have been neglected, in the name of Coco. They can wait.

Leaning in, you press a tender kiss to your husband’s forehead, before settling back in, and closing your eyes. Yes, chores can wait. Work can wait. The whole world can hold it, with both hands. So long as you’re around, Coco’s well-being will never have to take the back seat.

*

P.S. If Coco denies it, he’s full of it. He fucking loved that cauliflower pizza. Fucking vegetarians, indeed.

Masterlist | Request | Tag List

[fuckingthefictional]

Hi! I would like a request about Derek from teen wolf, please. The reader is trying to approach him, taking care of him "because Derek is too busy taking care of the others", BUT IT'S BEING SO HARD because of all of his past. Derek and the reader argue one night because of the overprotective nature of the reader about him, and when she tries to leave the loft, completely upset with Derek, he tries to fix things between them. Could you do this with a lot of angst and, then, tons of fluff? Thanks!

Ignored

Pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

Warnings: Angst bbyyyy, and some fluffy goodness at the end, not checked over (so probably a crap ton of spelling errors)

A/N: hello hope you enjoy, sorry it took forever! I’m so busy with work, college and personal issues that writing has been put on the back-burner.

When the name Derek Hale was mentioned- one immediately thought of the broody, salty, sarcastic young man who lived by himself after the tragic Hale house fire.

Nobody would ever associate the name Derek Hale and caring. It just wasn’t in his nature. Because under no circumstances could Derek be remotely kind, caring or soft in any way possible.

That’s what people thought of Derek. But not you- or the majority of the pack for that matter.

Yes, you saw where others came from with their ideas and judgement (Derek’s lack of colour in his wardrobe obviously didn’t help either).

But to you when you heard the name Derek Hale, you immediately thought of the kind hearted man who would give up anything for the safety of his friends and family (as much as he claimed otherwise).

You knew him differently, you knew him like the back of your hand. You knew that his favourite food was Spagetti Carbonara without the mushrooms, that he didn’t like Coca Cola, that he secretly loved watching trashy tv shows like keeping up with the kardashians, and most importantly that he was running himself ragged.

He had bitten off more than he could chew when it came to helping everyone out. He was the one giving lifts and helping with homework and hosting pack nights, and handling Isaac’s nightmares, all of this happening at the same time as some supposed lizard creature being on the loose.

You had been ignored by Derek Hale for approximately 72 hours. Now this wouldn’t be bad if it weren’t for two things.

1. He wasn’t aware that he was actively ignoring you.

2. The idiot wasn’t your husband of 2 years.

Over 68 hours ago you hadn’t minded, you had even brushed the silence and distance off- knowing that Derek liked to have a little time to himself.

But when it hit the 5 hour mark of the 4th day, frustration and disappointment had begun to set in.

There was one more thing that made the whole situation worse. He was blatantly ignoring you- and only you.

It hurt. You could admit that to yourself easily without any qualms at all. It hurt.

Whether that was to do with the whole ‘mate’ side of things you didn’t know- all that you did know was that Derek Hale was drowning and he wasn’t going to swim until everyone else was okay.

-

Thud, thud, thud, creaak

“Der please sit down”

“I can’t. I gotta figure this shit out before the school finishes for the day.” Derek grunted from his spot in the middle of the room. His head firmly stuck in the thick, dusty book that he had been pouring through for the majority of the afternoon.

“Der please, take a break.” You pleaded with him, begging him to just stop for a second and relax.

“I can’t,” Derek murmured again, before he pivoted in his heel and walked away up the staircase.

His heavy footfalls retreated upstairs, the musty book still clutched in his grasp.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you willed the tears in your eyes to stay put and to not roll down your cheeks in fat drops.

Why couldn’t you be enough for him?

-

The next plea came around 2 hours later, when you brought a bowl of homemade pasta and garlic bread up to Derek. Hoping that just maybe it would strike up a conversation, that maybe he would utter more than two short sentences to you.

“Babe- I made you lunch.” You elbowed your way into the room, balancing the bowl and plate in your hands.

“Just leave it on the desk.” He motioned to an empty slot on the overcrowded surface.

“I just thought that maybe we could have lunch together, have some time with each-other.”

“Y/N/N’s I would- but I have so much to do. Stiles and Scott are already on my ass about the damn lizard freak in town.”

“Der, you need to take a break.” You placed your hands on his shoulders. Instead of feeling them relax you could feel his muscles tense up.

Shrugging your hands off, he pushed the fresh plate of food away, “I can’t.” He spoke simply.

“But-“ you tried to object in protest, trying to plead with the broad shouldered man in front of you- hoping that maybe, just maybe he would come to his senses.

He did not.

“I said no Y/N.” Derek ground out, “I’m busy. Please for the love of God stop bothering me.”

The words stung you, causing you to stumble back in shock. Derek had a hard exterior, everybody knew that. But he had never spoken like that to you.

He had promised on your wedding day that he would always be kind, that he would be your biggest supporter and largest source of love.

But all those words felt like lies now. You felt alone, like an empty shell of yourself. Why couldn’t you just be enough?

-

Hours flew by, the watch on Derek’s wrist occasionally beeping to signify the new hour. If he were being honest- he had lost track of what the time was.

The only signifier was that Stiles, Scott and the others were in his presence- meaning it was at least 4pm

And judging by the sky outside of his office window, it was late evening, as the sky itself had melted from cool blues into a fantastic array of oranges and purples.

But besides the low chatters and bickering coming from Isaac and Stiles, the house felt almost too quiet.

There was no tv hum coming from the living room, no occasional flush or running of water from the restroom, no sizzle from food coming on the oventop, no sound of a page in a book turning. Nothing. Just silence.

“Hey Derek,” He looked up to see Scott staring at him, “Where’s Y/N?”

“Well-“

“Yeah, I haven’t seen her yet today.” Isaac chimed in.

“I’m not actually too sure.”

Derek was met with a sea of blank stares.

“I’m sorry- there’s a kanima out there roaming Beacon Hills, the very same kanima that is killing more people by the day. And you don’t know where your wife is?” Stiles asked incredulously, “Are you kidding me.”

“Well I’ve been so caught up on this research that I haven’t been spending as much time with her.” Derek attempted to defend himself.

“Derek, please tell me that you haven’t been ignoring your wife.”

Everybody had there eyes on him again.

“Well-“

There was an uproar of protests, all of which were yelling at Derek for ignoring and deserting his wife.

“You better find her Derek, before something happens and you regret it for the rest of your life.”

-

You really didn’t know how long you had been out here for. All you knew was that the night was closing in and the chill was setting in your bones.

But you didn’t want to go back to the loft, you honestly didn’t think you could handle seeing Derek after his outburst earlier.

The cold, damp ground soaked into your body- sucking all the warmth out of your body at a creeping pace.

The spot you sat in, hadn’t changed much since your first date with Derek. It was still isolated and it gave off the best views in Beacon Hills. Nobody knew about it but you and Derek.

Sighing deeply, you looked out over the viewing point- watching the tiny specks of light flicker in the distance. Every single light showed a different life that was being lived, each one with their own struggles. Beacon Hills was something else to say the least.

“I knew I could find you here.” A familiar voice broke your train of thought.

You kept silent, staring straight ahead, willing that your bottom lip wouldn’t start trembling and the flood gate wouldn’t open in your eyes.

“Look I’m sorry.”

You sniffed, still unable to look your husband in the eyes, “Are you though?” You briefly shut your eyes to stop any tears from breaking through, “or are you just saying that to get on my good side.”

You could feel Derek’s presence settle down besides your own. His breath creating little puffs of mist under the dark sky.

“I didn’t realise you were trying to help me, until it was too late and you’d left the apartment” He muttered, “It’s my fault, I should’ve taken your advice, I should’ve listened to you.”

You listened intently, knowing his words were sincere and heartfelt, “Why didn’t you listen to me then Der?” You responded bitterly.

“Because accepting help means showing weakness, and showing weakness is something I haven’t done since before the fire.” Derek’s voice was small now, “Before I met you, accepting help was off the table- I was a lone wolf, with no pack or family. And now I’ve found you and I’m desperate to not lose that again, I can’t lose you to this new threat in town- I can’t be alone again.”

Silence hung heavy in the air as your husband’s words set in. It made sense to you; why he was studying non-stop, why he had barely slept or ate.

It was apparent that while he was trying to protect his loved ones, he was also pushing them away in the process. That needed to change.

“You won’t be alone Der,” You lay your head down on his shoulder, “I promise that much- it’s you and me forever.”

“Through every supernatural event that happens in this town?”

You giggled softly, “Yes, and every single thing in between.”

[duuhrayliegh]

europe - request

pairing: sebastian stan x singer!reader (seb!pov)

summary: singer!reader writes another song, this one is about seb

warnings: suggestive content (*wink wonk*), language, the works ya know

a/n: this took so long bc im not lyrically inclined and there isn’t even that many lyrics in here. i can’t even guys this was a nice break though. i liked the concept, i hope i lived up to your dreams. :)

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are both open loves!

check out my other writing on my full m.list

Sebastian was doing a press interview for his new movie. It was his first on television interview. First time being back in the studio for The Late Late Show with James Corden. First time since you and him had gotten together. He was eager to see what James had in store for him.

He was wearing a bright yellow shirt paired with a red leather jacket. His legs were clad with a different pair that he wanted to wear originally because you couldn’t get quite enough of his thighs. Had he worn the other pair, there would’ve been a prominent wet spot on one leg where you rode him to your own satisfaction. The memory made him bite his lip and adjust his pants to try to quell his oncoming boner.

“Good luck out there tonight, lovey. You’re gonna crush it.” Your voicemail warmed Sebastian’s heart. He missed you a lot, but you were currently on your own press junket. Your new album finally came out and your manager had been running you ragged. Sebastian was so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and he wasn’t afraid to show it.

“Hi, Mr. Stan. You’re needed on deck in five minutes.” He nodded at the assistant producer who stuck her head in his dressing room. Sebastian ran his hands through his hair one more time before deciding enough was enough.

“Well, this is as good as it's gonna get.” He murmured to himself as he walked out of the dressing room. He rolled his shoulders, snuggling into the leather jacket encasing his back. Sebastian took a swig of a water bottle from the table backstage. He still got nervous when doing interviews, always worried that he’s going to say the wrong thing.

“And now I would like to introduce our next guest. You’ve seen him as Bucky Barnes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for the last ten years. He’s played the borderline psychotic Jeff Gillooly in I, Tonya, and the corrupt Sheriff Bodecker from The Devil All The Time. It is my pleasure to introduce the one, the only, Sebastian Stan!”

James stood, clapping as Sebastian made his way to the main set area. He raised his right hand, his left remaining on his stomach. As he approached James, Sebastian switched hands, his left coming up as an offer for James to shake. Afterwards, James held his hand out to the chair beside his desk, waiting for Sebastian to sit down.

“Hi, Sebastian! It’s so good to have you back.” James’ accent broke Sebastian’s name up into three distinct syllables, bringing a smile to Seb’s face.

“It’s good to be back, man.” He grinned big, waiting for James to ask the first question. Once they got into it, the interview went smoothly. Sebastian was able to avoid giving out spoilers for his new project, leaving just enough to the imagination. James was in a fit of laughter after Sebastian had told a crazy story from being on set. James wiped tears away from his lower lashline, calming down just enough to catch his breath.

“Okay, so I want to move onto something else.” Sebastian sobered up quickly, unsure of where James was taking the conversation. “We want all the juicy details about your relationship with Y/N.” Sebastian’s brow raised as he pulled a face at James’ question. He laughed to himself for a minute before answering.

“Ya know, we really have you to thank for that.” Sebastian pointed at James, before bringing that same finger to rub his eye.

“Really?” The man’s voice pitched up, brows hitting his hairline.

“Oh yeah. We were only introduced because of your show.” Sebastian leaned back in his chair, remembering that night with you. The two of you had gone out for drinks, talking for hours at the bar and then even longer in his hotel room. He remembered waking up with you wrapped up in his arms. You didn’t have sex that night, but you definitely did the second night.

And oh god, if  that second night wasn’t just as amazing as the first. The face you made whenever you climaxed danced it’s way to the forefront of Sebastian’s mind. Not good, definitely not good. He had to readjust himself in his pants again, crossing his legs to cover up his rather large problem.

“Yeah, we started dating that same week. Kept it quiet though.” Sebastian held his palm out in the air, bouncing it up and down.

“Right, right. And do you want to tell everyone how you did end up revealing that you and Y/N were an item?” Sebastian looked down at his lap, smirking to himself. “Or should we just play the clip?”

A clip played for the studio audience. It was Y/N doing her makeup for the Vogue Beauty Secrets Youtube video. Sebastian waltzed in the background of the shot. It then cuts to Sebastian kissing Y/N on the cheek, brandishing the hickey’s that she had sucked onto his cheek the night before. Mhm, I remember that night too.

Sebastian had surprised Y/N by coming to see her. He wasn’t doing anything and he missed you, so why waste a perfectly good opportunity. He spent the night there completely ravishing you until you begged him to stop. That night he proudly wore your thighs as earmuffs, burying his face in you. He really needed to stop reminiscing during an interview.

“How adorable. Was that planned at all? Or did you just do that because you could?” Sebastian shook his head, his right hand scratching at the stubble decorating his jaw.

“Oh, no. It definitely wasn’t planned. I honestly don’t remember if I knew Y/N was filming that morning, so I’m just glad I put on pants before I left the bedroom.” James laughed at Sebastian’s comment.

“Okay, so I’ve gotta ask your opinion on something though.” Sebastian made a hum of acknowledgement, signalling for James to continue. James leaned back, pulling out a cardstock of your new album. “So, this is Y/N’s new album, it just came out about three or four weeks ago?” The crowd clapped for you, and Sebastian cheered along with them.

“What do ya want my opinion on? If it’s the album, then I gotta tell ya, I loved it. Every single song on there is absolutely amazing.” James nodded, a smirk forming on his lips making Sebastian think he made a mistake.

“So you’re aware of the song Europe?” Sebastian smirked, nodding his head because he knew where this was going. “Would you like to tell us what that’s about?” James laughed as Sebastian stammered, looking for the right words. “I mean, let’s just read some of the lyrics.” James looked at the cards in his hands as Sebastian drifted into his thoughts again.

You had brought him into the studio before finalizing Europe. He remembers watching you twist your hands at your waist and continuously cracking your knuckles. Sebastian was curious because you hadn’t ever been like that when showing him a song before. Every question he had about your anxiety revolving around the song was thrown away when he heard it.

Europe was an ode to Sebastian, all of Sebastian. He couldn’t help pulling you down onto his lap by your waist as he listened. You were the only two in the studio, so the two of you were free to do whatever you wanted. The funny thing about that night was that there was a new track recording.

“Oh shit, Seb.” The dam broke afterwards, peels of laughter leaving your lips without explanation. Your right hand raised to your mouth, attempting (and failing) to quiet your giggles.

“Babe, why the ‘oh shit’?” You held up a finger to your lips, telling him to be quiet and listen. He strained his ears, waiting for his own ‘oh shit’ moment. Then, his own voice filtered into his ears, making him crease his brow in confusion. “What is that?”

“That’s the audio from when I first played you Europe.” Small giggles passed your lips again. “I was going to ask you if I could use, like, a sound byte from it for either the beginning or the end of the song.” Sebastian nodded, slightly amazed that you were so creative with your work. “But, I forgot to turn off the recording.” Sebastian’s eyes locked on your expression, waiting for him to connect the dots. He pulled a face and then,

“Oh shit.” His eyes widened, a huff of laughter escaping. “Wait, so it caught all of it?” Your lips rolled inwards, holding back laughs as you nodded your head. Sebastian raised a brow, his eyes flicking over your face. “Use it.” He had a few new hickeys after that night too, but not after decorating your body with a few of his own.

“Sebastian, I would like you to read a few lines from the song, please.” James handed Sebastian a card, a snort leaving Sebastian’s body involuntarily. He glanced at the cards, know the lyrics by heart already. He took a big breath, reading the lines that James chose. He threw him a look with his eyes, head tilting slightly toward the British man.

“Uh, okay, here we go.” Sebastian laughed to himself, blowing out a breath through clenched lips. He lifted the card again, “You know,” dropping his hand back to his lap while raising his other hand. “You know, she’s gonna make fun of me for this right?” James laughed, looking into the camera as if he was on The Office, then to the audience with a duh look on his face.

“Sebastian. We’re going to make fun of you.” The crowd didn’t hesitate to join in James’ amusement. Sebastian dropped his head into his hands, groaning loudly. “Do you need a little encouragement?” The audience began cheering and clapping for Sebastian.

“Fine, alright, alright.” He shook his head before starting. “Long nights with hickeys earned like a badge of honor. Teasing kisses, twisted sheets, all signs of true seduction.” Sebastian looked up from his hands, expecting James to say something. All James offered, though, was a wave of his hand for Sebastian to continue. “I never have to worry because all my sins are forgiven when I’m with you.” James held his hand up, stopping Sebastian from continuing.

“Okay, let’s dissect that, Mr. Stan.” James propped his elbow on his interview desk, placing his head at an angle in his palm. “What is this song about?” Sebastian’s lips curled inward, stopping himself from laughter.

“James,” Sebastian leaned forward against the arm of the couch. “I thought this was a family show.” The British man quirked a brow, sweeping both hands in front of his body gesturing to the studio.

“This is the Late Late Show, Sebastian.” He turned back to the audience, addressing them and the cameras. “And that is all the time we have tonight! Thank you to Sebastian for coming on the show with me tonight! And thank all of you for tuning in tonight. We’ll see you next time.” The producer beside the camera signaled that the show ended and Sebastian turned back to James.

“It’s a good song.” Sebastian smiled wide afterwards, saying his goodbyes to the crew. He was back in the safety of his dressing room when his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” He knew that it was you from the personally assigned ringtone you picked out when he wasn’t looking.

“The Internet is going to eat you alive.” Sebastian grinned as your peels of laughter trickled in through the speaker of his phone.

“Oh yeah, could you imagine if I told them that it wasn’t just random sounds at the end?” He could just imagine your smirk at his mention of your little addition to Europe.

“We’re gonna have to do that again.” Sebastian paused, waiting for you to explain. “Although I think next time we should do a visual along with the audio. You pickin’ up what I’m putting down Stan?” Sebastian smirked to himself, thinking about being able to watch himself bring you to the brink over and over again, even when you’re not together. His pants got tighter at the idea.

“I think we might have to look into that, Y/L/N.”