#why do i fuckign suck at this class so much lmao

[kuiinncedes]

i didn’t realize the readings for this class are always on the canvas page (bc the prof uploads the lectures on monday so i guess i forgot the readings aren’t the same) and so i have today and tomorrow to do a buttload of reading and watch all the lectures lol 

[queenreginascontour]

idk how to ask this without sounding like a loser rat bitch, so here goes nothing. i go back to my college in the beginning of august for my soph year but i really don’t want to go back. i feel like i didn’t make any friends and it honestly fucking sucks bc i go to a SEC school so i feel totally invisible. at first it was fine bc i could focus a lot on my schoolwork but then it started affecting my mental health. i feel so stupid sending this but i literally don’t have anywhere else to go. (1)

i know you’re in college too and you seem like you have friends and your shit together. in general i honestly respect you and i don’t want to talk to my family or home friends about this bc i feel like a little kid. idk. idk what i’m even asking for i just want this to end. (2/2)

hey anonty.. first of all im sorry 4 answering this so late but like i said, i didnt want to answer it on mobile LMAO but ok im gonna try to give the best advice i can give and i truly hope it helps u.. ok we know by know that asking me for advice just turns into storytime so im butting this under the cut bc idk how long it will be:

let me first clarify that i absolutely do not have my shit together, and that’s ok. i dont think anyone really does. im a rising sophomore as well, and for the first few months of first semester, i genuinely thought that i would never find real friends in college. not to suck my own dick, but ive always been someone who just has a lot of friends (not in like a bitchy, mean girls popularity way). a lot of different kinds of people just kind of gravitate towards me.. i dont rly know why, but because of it, ive never really had an issue with not having friends. however, i also have never really had to go out of my way to make friends, either. this proved to be my issue in the beginning of first semester. once again, not to suck my own dick, and probably to ur surprise if u regularly see my blog, people know me as a smart person. ive always performed very well academically and maintaining that has always been a priority for me. obviously, this attitude continued in college, but (kind of like u said), i think i got a little too into it and i used studying and homework as a hiding place because at my core, i was scared to go and make the effort to make friends. im sure u rly dont care about my personal life and im sorry for writing this all but what im trying to say is cliche but.. put urself out there. if u just go from class to class to the library to ur room, there is literally no way for you to meet people. once i started just like, joining clubs and getting an internship and even just going to the common room in my dorm building, i found my people. what’s funny to me is that my closest friends thus far just came to me out of nowhere, like my friends from the past.. like i literally do not know how we became friends. the law of attraction is real thots…….

one other cliché: be yourself. i am such a firm believer that it is impossible to make real connections with people if u present them with a modified version of yourself. i am a very transparent person. how u see me act on here is how i act in front of others. half my dorm from last yr knows i want to fuck a cars character, and that’s how you find your true friends and how your true friends find you. another anecdote u dont want to hear: my roommate came into college not wanting to drink or get involved in the party scene in any way. she was also very insecure. for context: my school is not a “party school” by any definition, although some act like it LMAO. obv people go out once in a while but nobody goes too hard, nobody parties on weekdays, and there are so many other things to do off campus that going out seems kind of stupid. however, my roommate felt like she had to drink and frequent the house parties in order to have a social life. it was literally the saddest fuckign thing to watch. she spiraled into someone she didnt want to be and i had to save her from many a sticky situation. she put herself out there, but she put a fake version of herself out there. im rambling again, but just.. dont be my roommate.. stay true to urself

finally, i dont know your situation, and i would definitely put a lot of thought into this, but transferring is an option. you said you go to an sec school- maybe that’s the issue. maybe a smaller school is a better fit for you. i truly love my school more than i thought that i would, and i want you to share that feeling. if you continue to feel invisible and trapped- most importantly, if it continues to affect your mental health- please, try to transfer. my roommate did consider transferring until she realized that she was being disingenuous and turned herself around. it is important for you to find at least one person at school you can turn to, especially if you feel like the environment is eating away at you. i assume it’s too late to start the transfer process for this semester if you’re going back in august, but stick it out for at least part of the semester and really try to find your niche. if you can find your niche, i guarantee that you will find your people. also, im.. idk.. humbled ? that u turned to me for help, but please, talk to your family. as a bitch who has too much pride and bottles shit up, i know it can be hard. but they know you better than anyone and they can probably help you better than i can. 

i love you, and i hope everything works out. keep me updated, and know im here anytime u need to talk

[dragon-zena]

even More OC group chat shenanigans

HUGHES: Madena oh my god

ZI: jdndjdjdjjd madena you did NOT

MADENA: I TOTALLY DID IM SVDBDBHD

HUGHES: I hate this Madena wh

HUGHES: “considering that I am a gay,,,” LIKE

ZI: “half of us,,,are immigrants,,,and children and grandchildren of immigrants,,,,end it” like has your best friend ever

HUGHES: YEAH MY BEST FRIEND HAS EVER THEY DID IT TODAY YOU WERE THERE

MADENA: im sorry but like what did she expect complaining about gay people and immigrants to a nb bisexual with two parents from two different continents...like? Ok

ZI: let's debate sexuality when it's obvious that half the class are LGBT and the other half are bigots!!!

ZI: let's talk about “illegal” immigration when almost EVERYONE IN THE ROOM has a close family member that immigrated here!

HUGHES: RIGHT AND TBIS IS AP POLISCI NOT AP “DISCUSS HUMAN RIGHTS” LET'S N O T

MADENA: this is both the greatest and worst day of my life why did I SAY that dbdbdn

ZI: what u said was true and you should say it

MADENA: mnmerrg

ZI: mads ur literally iconic there are literally people talking about u being their hero I'm???

HUGHES: I can't believe the evil was thoroughly defeated in our third hour class today.

MADENA: theevilisdefeated.png

CAMILLA: Narla!

NARLA: Yeah?

CAMILLA: Friendly reminder that we have a game today uwu……….do u have what u need? You dint have ur knee pads last time

NARLA: Fuck, I honestly forgot my stuff. I'm probably gonna drive home and get them.

NARLA: And never say “friendly reminder” or use uwu ever again in my presence.

CAMILLA: You should let Zi bring you uwu

NARLA: Perish, you bitch. You bully. You scoundrel.

CAMILLA: ;^)

NARLA: Hey, Zi. Are you busy after school? I was hoping that I could get a ride home, today. I have to get my vball gear for tonight.

ZI: oh! Yeah! I'll be waiting in the car after school. Can i

ZI: uh

NARLA: ?

ZI: can I come watch you, tonight?

NARLA: I'm blushing so hard she asked to come watch us tonight.

CAMILLA: HELL YEA we need the support

CAMILLA: Not that we gonna lose but your biggest fan being there is gonna make u go into overdrive.........ur gonna beast out........

CAMILLA: ion know if the other team is gonna stand a chance

NARLA: PERISH, ASSHOLE.

NARLA: Of course you can come! :)!

ZI: !!!

CAMILLA: WELCOM TO MY F U CK HO US E

MADENA: we have banini...and avocaidi…

HUGHES: Perish

ZI: perish

NARLA: Perish.

MADENA: Oh worm? Permission granted?

ZI: MADS NO

HUGHES: N O

ZI: mmmmmMMMAAAAAAAAAAA

STEPHANI: God, same.

HUGHES: What's going on in Louisiana? ):

NARLA: They keep raising the prom fee as though we're made of money. Lmao.

JUSTINE: I mean, Narla will be fine, she’s actually made of money,,, but like, not many other people will be.

ZI: LMAO.

MADENA: Zi ):

ZI: im sorry im sorry I just

NARLA: I'll pay for you to go. I'll pay for any of you, if you need it. It's not like we're using it for much, at home.

CAMILLA: ,,, Narla,,, ur mom

NARLA: Irrelevant.

MADENA: godiwishthatwereme.png

CAMILLA: aight……………………..

ZI: id die for Narla but whatever

HUGHES: You're at her game, aren't u

ZI: …no

HUGHES: …

ZI: …yes

ZI: Hughes her thighs...her calves….me gay

MADENA: I heard gay what's goin on

MADENA: oh its just z nvm

ZI: thighs.mp4

ZI: look at her go!

CAMILLA: ive come from the court to tell u that you are Definitely in the wrong chat

MADENA: ho-o-oly shit

CAMILLA: i got her phone lmao y'all secrets safe w me

CAMILLA: just deleted those messages have fun in pineville bye

HUGHES: Isn't that actually a place in Louisiana

HUGHES: Cami?

ZI: she's back on the court but yeah it is

ZI: holy shit I owe Camilla my entire life im going to the T3 Group Chat

HUGHES: real paranoia hours

HUGHES: if u up alone at 3:10 in the morning

HUGHES: hearing things, seeing things, and overthinking ur relationships

HUGHES: slam that mf like

HUGHES: this is so stupid like wow I love. feeling this way. Fave. 10 out of fuckign 10 i lobe iy

HUGHES: I need tk pee but im svared tk adn no ones up i catn

CAMILLA: oh shit

CAMILLA: ok okay im up right now, I'm here right now, I need you to take deep breaths for me

HUGHES: catn’

CAMILLA: can I call u

HUGHES: yehh

ZI: oh no

NARLA: Hughes, are you okay, now? I'm sorry that I wasn't awake when you needed someone. ):

CAMILLA: they asleep rn but I think they r ok for rn

CAMILLA: has this happened before zi

ZI: not to this extent

ZI: sometimes he does focus extensively on everything around him and it makes him anxious

NARLA: Maybe this should wait until Hughes says that we have his permission to talk about this.

CAMILLA: yeah

HUGHES: last night was a shit show

HUGHES: my bad

MADENA: Are u ok now?

ZI: ^

NARLA: ^

CAMILLA: ^

JUSTINE: ^

STEPHANI: ^

HUGHES: Yeah thanks

HUGHES: Camilla made me take sleep medicine and i pretty much passed out soon after lmao

CAMILLA: Sleep > Being Awake lmao

MADENA: mood

ZI: ......everybody wants to be a cat.....

HUGHES: oh my god not again

ZI: aS quare witha horn makes u wish u werent born evertime he plays

MADENA: Oh A Rinky Tinky Tinky!

ZI: with a square in the act! u can set musci back! to the caveman days!

NARLA: Oh, a rinky tinky tinyk!

HUGHES: This is torture you’re all doing ths knowing it was my fave song to play in jazz band end me

MADENA:  👀 👀 👀

Narla: RIP...It was my fault, I wanted to watch The Aristocats.........

HUGHES: Perish, Narla Miaro.

NARLA: Fuck you, Hughes.

STEPHANI: atthepool.png

STEPHANI: shes so fuckgin beautiful shes wearng this bikini and shes like fuckign aphrodite or sme shit

JUSTINE: END THIS

JUSTINE: prety.png

JUSTINE: LOOK AT MY GIRLFRIEND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD SHES GIGGLIN

NARLA: God, can you imagine if I had let the two of you pine any longer than you did?

ZI: this is so gay and cute

MADENA: Justine where do u find ur swimsuits and Steph u look gorgeous end me please

JUSTINE: blush.png

JUSTINE: shes blushing ths is so cute

JUSTINE: Also i just got them at waly worl

MADENA: bless ur photogenic souls for telling me

CAMILLA: U do it for he

NARLA: And you would do it, again.

CAMILLA: You do it for she and now u say

NARLA: You do it for he.

HUGHES: One day is all I ask

HUGHES: Sometimes I forget that the moment Euthymia left the house for college, she changed from a subtle gay to a vindictive gay.

MADENA: God my sister is so fucking iconic mom was like “i dont support that in my house” AS THOUGH I DONT EXIST IN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE HOME BUT ANYWAY Euthymia shruges and is like “im not in your house so lmao watch this” AND KISSES AGATHA RIGHT IN F R O N T OF HER hhfkrk

ZI: im lauhing

HUGHES: Shes not at her mom’s house rn she came to bring something to me for Mads and she’s sporting an undercut and a lot of lgbt pride pins AND a lot of really clever enamel pins too i envy her

HUGHES: She??? Also has??? A scar on her eyebrow???

HUGHES: I ASKED WHY AND SHE SAID “YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY”

MADENA: TELL HR TO STAY PUT IM C O M I N G I GOTTA SEE THIS

ZI: send a pic when u get there i wanna see

EUTHYMIA: inspiring my lgacy to be vindictive gays lmao

AGATHA: im lauhfing Zi just texted me and told me that Hughes called you a vindictive gay

EUTHYMIA: im so happy that im able to be ths way

EUTHYMIA: but i want them to wait until they’re super safe until they even think about following the near vicinity of my footsteps

AGATHA: you aren’t even super safe but i get wht ur sayin

AGATHA: I love you, Euthymia Nadine.

EUTHYMIA: I love you, too, Alaris

AGATHA: oooh my last name hot

EUTHYMIA: end it

HUGHES: That freshman is going to get in a fight this afternoon

MADENA: ?

HUGHES: sorry the thought just came to me

MADENA: Hughes,,,

HUGHES: I was right,,,,,,what the fc

ZI: oh thats like when Madena said something about ancient greec andt he teacher was like “nuh uh” but when he searched it up it was true

ZI: but Madena didnt know how they got it right it just randomyl popped up in their mind

CAMILLA: Physics can suck my asshole

HUGHES: Oh?

MADENA: *Hughes voice* oh, you haven’t heard?

CAMILLA: i die

HUGHES: I tutor in physics

MADENA: hes not gonna ask you to pay which is why u should

CAMILLA: I DONT CARE AS LONG AS I PASSED THESE FINALS WHATS YOUR FUCING PAYPAL

HUGHES: meet me in the PMs

MADENA: this is so fucking funny hey @Narla d o u need help with physics

NARLA: No.

MADENA: god i wish that were me

ZI: god i wish that were me

ZI: :0!

MADENA: O: twinsies