#why do i even open tumblr in public anymore???

[rainydaygt]

g/t tumblr roulette is opening the 'your tags' tab when you're following the #size difference tag

[photomatt]

Why “Go Nuts, Show Nuts” Doesn’t Work in 2022

For those who don’t know or remember, Tumblr used to have a policy around porn that was literally “Go nuts, show nuts. Whatever.” That was memorable and hilarious, and for many people, Tumblr both hosted and helped with the discovery of a unique type of adult content.

In 2018, when Tumblr was owned by Verizon, they swung in the other direction and instituted an adult content ban that took out not only porn but also a ton of art and artists – including a ban on what must have been fun for a lawyer to write, female presenting nipples. This policy is currently still in place, though the Tumblr and Automattic teams are working to make it more open and common-sense, and the community labels launch is a first step toward that.

That said, no modern internet service in 2022 can have the rules that Tumblr did in 2007. I am personally extremely libertarian in terms of what consenting adults should be able to share, and I agree with “go nuts, show nuts” in principle, but the casually porn-friendly era of the early internet is currently impossible. Here’s why:

Credit card companies are anti-porn. You’ve probably heard how Pornhub can’t accept credit cards anymore. Or seen the new rules from Mastercard. Whatever crypto-utopia might come in the coming decades, today if you are blocked from banks, credit card processing, and financial services, you’re blocked from the modern economy. The vast majority of Automattic’s revenue comes from people buying our services and auto-renewing on credit cards, including the ads-free browsing upgrade that Tumblr recently launched. If we lost the ability to process credit cards, it wouldn’t just threaten Tumblr, but also the 2,000+ people in 97 countries that work at Automattic across all our products.

App stores, particularly Apple’s, are anti-porn. Tumblr started in 2007, the same year the iPhone was released. Originally, the iPhone didn’t have an App Store, and the speed of connectivity and quality of the screen meant that people didn’t use their smartphone very much and mostly interacted with Tumblr on the web, using desktop and laptop computers (really). Today 40% of our signups and 85% of our page views come from people on mobile apps, not on the web. Apple has its own rules for what’s allowed in their App Store, and the interpretation of those rules can vary depending on who is reviewing your app on any given day. Previous decisions on what’s allowed can be reversed any time you submit an app update, which we do several times a month. If Apple permanently banned Tumblr from the App Store, we’d probably have to shut the service down. If you want apps to allow more adult content, please lobby Apple. No one in the App Store has any effective power, even multi-hundred-billion companies like Facebook/Meta can be devastated when Apple changes its policies. Aside: Why do Twitter and Reddit get away with tons of super hardcore content? Ask Apple, because I don’t know. My guess is that Twitter and Reddit are too big for Apple to block so they decided to make an example out of Tumblr, which has “only” 102 million monthly visitors. Maybe Twitter gets blocked by Apple sometimes too but can’t talk about it because they’re a public company and it would scare investors.

There are lots of new rules around verifying consent and age in adult content. The rise of smartphones also means that everyone has a camera that can capture pictures and video at any time. Non-consensual sharing has grown exponentially and has been a huge problem on dedicated porn sites like Pornhub – and governments have rightly been expanding laws and regulations to make sure everyone being shown in online adult content is of legal age and has consented to the material being shared. Tumblr has no way to go back and identify the featured persons or the legality of every piece of adult content that was shared on the platform and taken down in 2018, nor does it have the resources or expertise to do that for new uploads.

Porn requires different service providers up and down the stack. In addition to a company primarily serving adult content not having access to normal financial services and being blocked by app stores, they also need specialized service providers – for example, for their bandwidth and network connections. Most traditional investors won’t fund primarily adult businesses, and may not even be allowed to by their LP agreements. (When Starbucks started selling alcohol at select stores, some investors were forced to sell their stock.)

If you wanted to start an adult social network in 2022, you’d need to be web-only on iOS and side load on Android, take payment in crypto, have a way to convert crypto to fiat for business operations without being blocked, do a ton of work in age and identity verification and compliance so you don’t go to jail, protect all of that identity information so you don’t dox your users, and make a ton of money. I estimate you’d need at least $7 million a year for every 1 million daily active users to support server storage and bandwidth (the GIFs and videos shared on Tumblr use a ton of both) in addition to hosting, moderation, compliance, and developer costs. 

I do hope that a dedicated service or company is started that will replace what people used to get from porn on Tumblr. It may already exist and I don’t know about it. They’ll have an uphill battle under current regimes, and if you think that’s a bad thing please try to change the regimes. Don’t attack companies following legal and business realities as they exist.

[satellitespinner]

Jealous ellie drabble.

i feel like ellie isn’t some big jealous alpha who takes you home and pounds you doggystyle like how a majority of tumblr writes her (no shame ab that!) but more likely a jealous gf who sits back and pouts and gives you the cold shoulder for 2 hours until she can’t ignore you anymore. she definitely needs reassurance and then feels really guilty about being jealous!!!

COOL ABOUT IT.

content warnings: swearing, jealousy, ellie’s a littleeeee toxic..

wc: 500 or soo…

you’re sat at a bar table with your girlfriend and best friends and you couldn’t be happier, but the energy was a bit off..

everyone had been happily engaged in conversation except ellie. she had been while and it was starting to worry you.

you waited for a moment for jesse and dina to start mindlessly bickering over which genre of movie they would star in and texted ellie under the table.

you: is everything okay?

ellie: yep

you: are you sure?? you’re looking pretty sad over there :((

ellie: i’m good.

read

you look up from under the table to see ellie glaring holes into dinas head. good god girl.

you smile and roll your eyes, you place a reassuring hand on her thigh and move your head onto her shoulder.

for a moment you two wait for jesse and dina to shut up but soon enough their voice levels end up a little too high for a public setting.

“okay we are still in public.. children..” you scold jokingly receiving a faint chuckle from ellie.

the pair settle down before resuming in civil conversation with you. they attempted to include ellie, who was only responding when she had to.

“what do you think ellie?” dina asks, not sensing her sour mood that was clearing directed towards her.

“i think i need to go to the bathroom.” she deadpans before sliding out of the booth and walking to the bathroom.

you sigh at her childish behavior before politely excusing yourself, coming up with the excuse of her having a shitty day.

you push the bathroom door open to reveal ellie standing against the sinks, fingers tapping away at her phone screen.

“babe.” you speak softly. trying to hide your frustration. she ignores you and continues typing.

“okay listen,” you start, not trying to argue but simply trying to set things straight.

“dina is a flirt. you know this. why you continue to get overly jealous and act like a child beats me.” you cross your arms as she finally locks her phone and looks up at you.

“i do not want dina. i want you. you’re my girlfriend, not her. im inlove with you, not her.” you reassure, your tone harsh yet comforting.

ellie chews the inside of her cheek as you lay into her, she knows that you nor dina would ever even think of being unfaithful.

she huffs as she walks over to you, wrapping herself around you.

“i know, i know, i’m sorry.” you rub ur hand up and down her back as to comfort her.

“i don’t think i could even see myself with someone else.” you whisper into her shirt.

“me neither.” you feel her release a breath of relief against your head. you wanted to stay like this forever.

you two pull back from eachother and you smile at her.

“should we make our way back to the others?” she agrees silently before pressing a soft kiss your your lips. a smile plastered on her face as she walks back to the table.

[kissohee]

hiii ! omg i haven’t used tumblr in years and i love love loooove your blog, it’s amazing !!

i was wondering what you could write about in a situation where sohee and y/n are studying for an exam in the library and y/n starts teasing him under the table and IDK YOURE MAGICAL YOULL FIGURE OUT THE REST I LOVE YOU 🩷

sohee x reader ☆ nsfw ; wc : 1.7k+ ☆ one-shot mdni! warnings; y/n has no personal boundaries, exhibition, handjob a/n; thank u so so much! lyt! ❣️

When the professor announced that an exam would be held about the current topic you were learning in class, you were in no doubt very nervous. You hadn't exactly understood the topic very well, so you knew if you didn't do anything about it, you were more than likely going to fail. Thankfully there was a classmate of yours who happened to really understand it, and you've heard from so many people that he really likes you too. So you jumped to the opportunity to ask him to help you study.

Which led you to now. Sitting in your schools public library, with books sprawled all over the table you were using. Sohee sat besides you, typing away on his laptop, marking off things you guys need to go over.

"We should probably go over this. Professor said it'll 100% be on the exam." He says, opening one of the books, trying to find the topic in it.

"Sure, whatever you think we should." You couldn't help but admire Sohee from up close. Yes, you've heard about him liking you from everyone but you never really saw anything in him. Until now. And you have no idea if it's because he's helping you or because he is just really cute. In fact, you think he's so cute to the point where you start imagining what he'd be like if you touched him. Probably whiney, might move a lot, or maybe he's just completely unpredictable. And you sure as hell wanted to find out. When he doesn't look, you place your hand on his thigh, pushing off it to stand up and stretch. When you look at him, you see him looking at his thigh, where your hand was, before balling up his hands out of nervousness. "Want to take a break?" He asks, looking up at you as you stretch. "No I'm okay!" You smile at him when he nods, and you sit back down, closer to him than you were before. Which he notices, because you see him take small glances at you through the corner of your eye. Your hand going right back on his thigh, trying to find any way to make it seem like you weren't trying to do anything on purpose, "I like the way your jeans feel.!" You take the opportunity to softly rub his thigh, fingers getting closer to his crotch and he nervously smiles. "What are they made out of?" "Uh," He freezes, "Normal jean material?" He is visibly confused on why you're acting different than you were before. You move your hand so it's near his crotch, taking notice to the way his bread hitched and how he freezes what he was doing. However, he tries very hard not to react in an obvious way. And you just keep it there, which confuses Sohee even more. In the back of his mind, he's praying you don't move your hand anymore than you already have. "Sohee, what about this one?" You pretend to act confused, dragging your hand up to point at the book, your fingers softly making contact with his bulge as you do. His hips shifting slightly from your fingers, a boner growing in his pants. He could almost die right now. You probably didn't even mean to touch him like that, or at least you were acting like you didn't. "Nevermind, I remember it was addressed in that one book." You pretend to look around for it, "Oh right, it's in my backpack." Your backpack, which just so happens to be on the chair next to him, has him quickly going for it. "Here, I'll-" "No it's okay, I got it." He sits back down in defeat and watches as you lean over him, reaching for your backpack. He feels you accidentally rub against him in the process, making him bite his lip quickly to avoid making a sound. When you finally grab your backpack, which felt like eternity to him, you sit back down in your chair. Pretending that nothing happened. Sohee though, was internally panicking. He's sitting in the library, helping the person he really likes.. study, and yet he is sitting here, with a boner. This is the most pathetic he has ever felt in his entire life. So he opted to just covering it with his sweater, and he's never been so thankful for him picking a sweater 2x his size.

However, it was hard to ignore the way he would shift in his chair every 2 seconds because of how uncomfortable he felt. Plus, he liked the feeling he would get of his pants rubbing against him every time he did. "Are you okay?" You ask him, pretending to be oblivious to the mess you started, which almost angered him. "Uh huh." He responded short and quick, trying to avert your attention back onto the stacks of books you guys had but you look at him with furrowed eyebrows instead. You look at his hands, which are in his sweater pocket, helping to pull it over to cover his bulge. "What are you doing?" "Nothing!" He yells quietly, remembering you guys are still in the library. "Let me see!" You place your hand on him again, causing him to jolt. "What?" You move your hand to reach for his sweater but he quickly holds it down. "No!" He says louder than he meant to, and he takes a quick look around to make sure no one was looking. "Sohee," You whine, "It's not a big deal!" "But," his grip on his sweater loosens and his voice gets smaller, "It's embarrasing." You grab his sweater and push it up a little, revealing how hard he was. When you look up at Sohee, he's avoiding eye contact, looking everywhere but at you. When you place a hand over his growing cock, he grabs his sweater to cover it again. "Please don't do that." "Sohee," He shakes his head and sits up straight.

"There's people.." He looks around again, as if trying to prove the fact that other people were only a few feet away from you guys. "They won't know." You whisper into his ear, sending shivers down his back. "It must hurt a lot." He nods, his face bright red from embarrassment. "So please let go." The second you say that, he let his hands fall to his side, allowing you to once again lift his sweater. "Pretend you're reading or something so people don't think anything weird." He immedeatly grabs one of the books sitting on the table and starts pretending to skim it. However, he loses his focus the second your hand is placed on his bulge again. And he swears he could see stars when you started moving the palm of your hand in circles on it. His cock is so hard, you swear it could break his zipper open so using his sweater to cover, you unzip his pants and pull his cock out. "You did this on purpose.." He looks at you, his eyes soft. "What.?" You softly rub your thumb against his slit and he holds his hand above yours, hesitant on stopping you. "All the te-teasing." He softly drops the book on the table, giving up on trying to look like he was reading it. His attention fully falling on you. "Yeah," You let your thumb run against his slit again, "But you're not mad, right?" "H-how could I b-be..." He stammers over his words when your hand starts pumping him fully. Allowing him to finally feel the pleasure he's been wanting to for the past 10 minutes.

His head falls back, and he starts shifting his hips to the same pace as your hand. His teeth holding his bottom lip, failing when he lets out a small whimper only you could hear. "You're so cute," you tell him, looking at him with a smile while he's clearly struggling at keeping quiet. When he whimpers again, it's a little louder than before. "Shh, Sohee.." You stop moving your hand, "We're still in public. You don't want to be caught, do you?" "So-sorry..," He bucks his hips up into your hand, asking you to continue. "Please please please..." He almost forgot other people were around you guys, but he couldn't care. He just needs to cum, and if others are watching, then so be it. He lets out more soft pleads until you start moving your hand up and down his cock again. Adding your thumb against his tip every once in a while. His hips lifting up to fuck your hand, and you let him. Wiping off the sweat that falls from his forehead. When he notices that you stopped moving your hand again to let him fuck up into it, he takes his and forces you to move it. He's just using your hand at this point, and he feels himself get closer. "F-fuck please continue...." "Are you close?" He immedeatly responds with quick head nods, his eyes closed shut. The longer you look at him the more you wished you hadn't decided to do this in the library of all places. "You look so..." You trail off, "I really wish I could kiss you right now." When you said that, Sohee felt his heartbeat speed up at a rate he didn't know it could go. He would love to respond, or maybe even kiss you, but he just can't find the strength in him to do either one. "Shit.." He can't believe his about to cum in public, and yet just thinking about that is helping in getting him over the edge. "Y/n... Ahh.... Ah fuck.." He whispers out moans as his hips twitch, you help him ride his high. He feels his cum warm against his skin, watching as your hand comes out from under his sweater, covered in it. When he finally gets ahold of his breathing, he looks around for a tissue of some sort but when he couldn't find one, he takes your hand and cleaned it off using his sweater. He could just throw it in the wash the next time he does landurary. "Let's get out of here." Sohee stands up, adjusting himself. "Why?" You look at him confused when he starts grabbing your stuff. "It's your turn."

i hope this was good! ik these type of fics are written a certain way but i wanted to change things up a bit. 😵‍💫 - 🐠

[peachglumpear]

twitlonger doesn't work anymore so i've decided to compile my thoughts on tumblr.

there are two reasons why tvskyle being arrested for csem enrages me aside from the obvious of the matter.

tvskyle was a known predator for years. if you google his name and "callout" there are troves of information about his harassment and predation to women. back when i had a professional art account despite that i was not an animator or heavily in animation circles this was public knowledge even to me.

2. this is what happens when people refuse to acknowledge predators can and will co-opt GOOD GUY / BAD GUY language to infiltrate and stay in circles.

anyways, that is the short version. this is the long version where i get into topics regarding abuse and harm that may be triggering.

first off, let's get over how using the word "paraphile/paraphilia" has become fearmongering and taking the words away from what they actually mean. "paraphilia", at its most base level definition means "a paraphilia is an experience of recurring or intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, places, situations, fantasies, behaviors, or individuals."

if you like BDSM, you're a paraphile. if you like bondage, you're a paraphile. if you like pregnancy, you're a paraphile. if you like fictional brothers kissing, you're a paraphile.

considering the DSM used to characterize homosexuality as a mental illness until 1973 (51 years ago, not that long in hindsight!) if you are not a cisheterosexual white man and like anything that is not cisheterosexual sex intended for the sole purpose of procreation with the intent to create children, you have a paraphilia.

paraphilia/paraphile in both proclaimed 'anti' and 'proship' spaces is becoming the new 'pedo', which is really just BAD PERSON. do not interact with me if you are a BAD PERSON who does BAD THINGS. BAD PEOPLE get away.

the reason why i do not have any disclaimers about "antis/pedos/zoos/etc dni" in my bio is because to me this is the same thing as saying "serial killers dni" ...i don't mean to sound snarky, this is just what it boils down to. if a person is out there harming someone, human or animal:

i do not know why they would proclaim this information publicly.

if someone is harming real beings, i do not think they would respect text on a screen if that very prominent line in the sand has already been passed.

tvskyle fits the mold for animation dudebro who was established in the industry of his choice despite the open knowledge of his predatory behavior. i cannot testify to if anyone knew he was possessing csem before he was officially arrested, but it was definitely open knowledge that he was the kind of man you wouldn't want left alone with female coworkers. some of this behavior was bad enough that even male coworkers would avoid him.

tvskyle also coopted proship/anti terminology.

this isn't me knocking on someone for their age, but when i first saw tvskyle posting about of all things, invader zim yaoi, my first thought was "why in the world would a 45 year old man who is an industry professional be so obsessed with arguing online about cartoon smut."

i guess you can argue about stupid things on the internet at any age at any level of industry success. but it was bizarre to me because it's not as though cartoon smut of any problematic variety should be news to someone working in animation in their 40s. The animators on the original Beetlejuice made jokes that BJ's fingertips were red from fingering Lydia on her period. The rugrats storyboarders drew horny jokes. There's infamous posts about animators finding the secret smut vaults for their shows. Cartoon smut has basically existed as long as cartoons have existed.

and then you find out tvskyle also drew pokemon porn that involved may (age 12), brock (age 15) and max (may's younger brother, age 8.)

wow, kyle! a threeway between a 12 year old and her 8 year old brother! that seems pretty problematic! incest and shota combo!

but i guess that's not an issue. it's not problematic when i draw it because i'm not a BAD PERSON.

tvskyle became weirdly obsessed with calling people out for cartoon smut despite that he drew smut you could categorize just as problematic in nature. and then he was found possessing some of the worst csem you can be found possessing. and he was found possessing over *600 images* of csem. that isn't something you gather overnight.

so there is the uncomfortable truth of the matter that predators can and will co-opt terminology to blend into any space. and this can happen anywhere. if someone wants to get under the radar in anti circles, they will rave about how bad cartoon smut is. if someone wants to get under the radar in proship spheres, they will adapt and use the appropriate terminology for that sphere.

and this is why to a whole, i find it incredibly reductive to use terms that reduce people into bad person / good person because at its most harmful, all it does is protect people who are continuing and perpetuating harm to real people.

i think everyone needs to acknowledge their capacity to harm as much as their capacity to heal. and before you think "wow peach that is a really wide assumption i would NEVER hurt someone like [x]" yes, i know, imaginary stranger in my head, this is not what i am saying.

what i mean when i say we all need to acknowledge our capacity to harm is because i believe the choice to be a good person or a bad person is a choice you make every day. if i am a "good person" my whole life and then one day...i don't know. i steal money from a homeless person, or i throw a drink made wrong in an overworked barista's face. all of the "good things" i have done would not cancel out that in those theoretical moments, i was not a good person. in fact, in these hypothetical scenarios, i was very nasty.

there have been days where i've had to be the friend who sits another friend down and talks with them about how something they said or did really hurt me. and likewise, sometimes i've had to come face to face with when i wasn't the good friend. it hurts both ways but let's be honest, someone hurting you doesn't come with the same fearful sting of "i hurt my friend. do they think i'm a BAD PERSON. am i the BAD PERSON now?"

and none of these conversations would have been productive or involved growth or greater understanding if they had come from the angle of YOU, a BAD PERSON, hurt ME, a GOOD PERSON. (on either end.)

i think acknowledging your capacity to harm simply means acknowledging you're human. you won't always be right. you will mess up and that's simply a part of the human experience. but being able to take accountability and examine when your actions have caused harm will be more beneficial to yourself and your loved ones in the long run.

the person who groomed me would not admit they had groomed and exploited a minor because in their mind, they are not a BAD PERSON.

the person who abused me would never admit to these things because in their mind, they are not a BAD PERSON.

to be a BAD PERSON is to lose everything because being a BAD PERSON is not to be any person at all.

of course these people never took responsibility for the harm caused to me.

only BAD PEOPLE do BAD THINGS.

the uncomfortable truth is there is no way to ping with 1000% accuracy someone intent on predation and harm. there are predators in white vans lurking outside of high schools, but the predators were also the charming and well spoken teachers who were very popular with coworkers, parents and their students. some people are simply better at adapting and blending in the system they want to exploit than others.

i think tvskyle fell somewhere in the middle. other inappropriate behavior of his was well known, but this wasn't enough for him to be blacklisted. as we all know, sexually harassing women is not a firable offense. for people missing the 50's, feel assured some thing have not changed. (<- very biting sarcasm.)

tvskyle is definitely not the last predator in animation, but what do you expect from circles that are essentially glorified high school cliques that only require ego stroking and circlejerking.

tvskyle may have been the most recent predator found, but he is definitely not the only one and anyone acting otherwise is just leaving the door open for these people to continue perpetuating harm.

[notreallysorryxx]

#”No Matter What”

You’re just a retainer for the Kamisato family. But Ayato falls deeply in love with you, which surprises the public.

Warnings: a bit suggestive(?)

Characters: Kamisato Ayato

Note: This is for my secret santa from the 2022 Genshin Secret Santa Event on Tumblr (@throwaway-yandere​)

Words: 1.7k

Whispers circulated around you whenever you walked next to your fiance, Kamisato Ayato. It wasn't uncommon for people to gossip about you, saying you were unbefitting and unworthy of such an amazing man like Ayato. He was handsome, he was the head of his family, and he contributed greatly to Inazuma, unlike you. You were just his retainer that he happened to fall in love with. Some people thought it was sweet, a cute love story. But others were against it, saying that the marriage would be a disgrace to the Kamisato family. Those against it prayed to the Shogun that the marriage would fail.

At first it didn't bother you, but the whispers grew. You couldn't walk into a room without hearing rude remarks about you. Ayaka tried to reassure you that you were going to be a perfect addition to their family. As much as you appreciated her, it was hard to believe her when there were so many people that thought differently. It bothered you immensely and you resorted to staying inside the estate, wrapped up on your futon. You barely went out anymore which was worrying to Ayato. He always made sure to have Thoma watch you.

Thoma's presense was calming and he was nice to talk to. He would make whatever you wanted to eat, keep you entertained, and balance his usual chores. You honestly felt a bit bad that he was doing so much. After all, he was a retainer, just like you, but he did all the work. It couldn't really be helped though because Ayato demanded that you never cooked or cleaned. However, you would make the occasional dinner for the two of you, and sometimes Ayato would help. You missed the outside world a bit and you were tempted to go out. Just how many changes had there been after the Vision Hunt Decree? It was a bit nervewracking to go out, you didn't want to go alone either. In the end, you went to ask your fiance to go with you, hoping he wasn't too busy.

The walk across the estate towards his office was quite calming. There was only a light breeze and the air wasn't too cold. It helped you relax a bit before you arrived at the door to the room. You were about to knock on his door, when the door opened, a smiling Ayato standing in the doorway. "Hello, darling. I didn't think you would come visit me in my office today. I fully expected you to be waiting for me on your futon," he reached a hand up to caress your cheeks, pushing hair out of your face. "Is there something you need?" It was as if your words were caught in your throat. You wanted to say "Can we go into town today?" but what came out was a croak that sounded similar to a small toad.

Ayato simply hummed, amused at your loss of words. "What was that, dear?" Your ears warmed significantly, as did your cheeks which you were sure Ayato felt in his palm. You tried to swallow, mouth feeling dry. "Can we... can we go into town today?" you asked quietly. Ayato's smile disappeared, being replaced by a serious look, "Are you sure? Don't force yourself." You nodded, you were mostly sure. Although you weren't completely certain that you wanted to face the people in town, you hoped to get over the anxiety of being seen by so many people in a bad light. Plus, you would have to be seen with Ayato once you got married. The Kamisatos's public image was important after all.

"Absolutely sure?" he asked again. You nodded once again. Ayato's thumb traced the outline of your lips, "Use your words, darling. Are you absolutely sure?" Why was he always so cheeky? Your ears burned even more than before, "I'm sure, absolutely sure." He grinned, leaning down to give you a quick kiss. "Give me a few minutes and then we can leave, okay?" "Okay." He gave you another kiss, turning to go to his desk. "If you want, you can go wait outside." You decided to do just that, greeting the guard at the entrance of the estate. Thoma happened to pass by you, also greeting the guard and you. "Are you going out today?" he asked. "I want to go, but it's stressful. Ayato is going with me, so it should be okay," you grinned sheepishly.

Thoma nodded, "Have fun. By the way, if you go to the grocery stall, could you pick up some rice and tofu? We're running out and I plan to try to make chicken tofu pudding for dinner. And Ms. Kamisato wanted some of my special miso soup." He scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I'm sorry, you probably want to spend time with Ayato." You smiled at him, "It's fine, Thoma. I've been wanting to help with your errands anyway. I wish I was allowed to work." You sighed. "But he won't let me." A chuckle came from Thoma, "Of course he wouldn't let you. He wants his 'lover to be spolied', that was an exact quote, mind you." "What are you two up to?" Ayato's voice interrupted your small talk with the retainer. "We were talking about you," you spoke up.

"About me? What about me, dear?" "We were talking about—" "About what you were going to do when you go to town today. Since, they haven't been out in a long time," Thoma interrupted you. You watched as Ayato's eyes sparkled. He obviously wasn't buying Thoma's quick lie, but let it pass anyway. You had a hunch that perhaps he knew what had just been discussed anyway, even without you telling him. He was just intuitive like that. "Well, anyway," Thoma cleared his throat, "I should probably... get back to work. The estate won't clean itself." Ayato smiled at the retainer, "That it won't. We'll be leaving as well. If anyone should visit while I'm away, please inform them of my outing." Thoma bowed, saying a quick 'of course', and left to go complete his household duties.

Seeing as it was just the two of you, Ayato turned his attention to you. "Would you perhaps wish to carry a Kamisato family fan with you? Or maybe one of mine or Ayaka's robes?" A fan? Weren't those only for members of the family? Although you were engaged to the commissioner, you had yet to marry, meaning you technically weren't part of the family yet. "Ah, no thank you," your face heated up in abashment. "As my darling wishes." Ayato outstretched his hand which you took, "Let's go explore the town." And with that, the two of you were on your way to shop and traverse the shops.

Your stomach became full of fluttering crystalflies as you stepped past the guards stationed near Byakko Plain. Ayato stopped  for a moment to greet them, introducing you as his fiance. As per usual, he introduced you in a manner that seemed as if he was boasting, which he very much was. He always introduce you the same way: "Here's my wonderful fiancé. I assure you that they are one of the best people to acquaint." And when someone would ask how you two met: "Ah, funnily enough we met at my estate. Their charm was too much for me, and I simply fell in love with them." Everywhere you two went, you saw unfamiliar faces. There were only a few people you recognised. Ayato informed you that a few of the people you had previously met in Inazuma City had relocated to Watatsumi Island during the Vision Hunt Decree and still lived there. He promised to introduce you to the priestess and her top general as well.

One familiar person you bumped into while in the city, was none other than one of the few people that had previously gossiped about you. They were surprised to see you, apparently  they had been hoping you had broken off the engagement. You tried to pay no mind to them, but no matter where you and Ayato went, they would follow. Store owners and citizens alike, looked at them with disgust. It appeared that no one really like them. The adventure out into the city was going successfully—as successfully as it could with the person following you—until they said something that made you freeze. "Why are you even dating such a well-off person, huh? Your worth is nonexistent, you'd be better off dead," they spat.

At those words, Ayato immediately turned on the person, a glare directed at them. "Would you like to repeat that? I will have you know that that was extremely out of line. Next time you decide to talk about someone in that manner, think about yourself." When he looked back at you, his features softened. Your eyes were watering slightly, on the verge of tears. "Shall we go home, dear?" He didn't wait for a response, picking you up in his arms, and carrying you back to the Kamisato Estate. Ayato carried you all the way to his office, setting you down on a cushion. He kneeled down in front of you, pressing a kiss to the hand he  grasped. "My darling, my love. Do not take their words to heart. They know nothing about what they were speaking about. You're the most wonderful person to exist. Your worth is not nonexistent, you're worth everything to me."

He paused to take a breath before continuing, "I love you, and I will always love you no matter what. My love for you is something that cannot be measured. And I assure you that I will never let you go, unless that's what you want." "No, I never want you to let go of me...  please," you threw your arms around Ayato, pulling him impossibly closer. "I love you, too. Please never let me go." "Anything for you, my dear,"  Ayato replied quietly, wrapping his arms around you. His embrace was comforting to you. So comforting that you drifted off in his arms. At least, when you would awaken, Ayato was sure to be there...

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

it's hard to imagine that if they actually dated she would be posting bts content from 2020 to prove it. like she would have to have something she took herself. she has been stoking these rumors for years and she has yet to show something that proves they have ever even met irl. i hope the rumor that he moved out before enlisting is true because this is getting old.

"she has been stoking these rumors for years and she has yet to show something that proves they have ever even met irl." Exactly, yeah.

There was someone yesterday or the day before who sent an ask arguing in favor of every story she posted the other day and how she couldn't have possibly gotten those from anywhere else when she very much could've. All I'm gonna say is people have literally worn Jimin's fake love outfits because somehow fans got a hold of it, and someone was able to get his mail from BTS own home. Also, when that guy posted the heart jikook photo and some other Jimin photo from Japan in like 2018/2019, everyone immediately and unanimously agreed that he couldn't possibly be their friend anymore because if he was he wouldn't have posted those photos. And I agreed with that because I've also seen how Jimin seems to handle his personal relationships and to keep their exposure to a minimum. We don't even see social media posts with sungwoon or saeon who are also somewhat public figures.

But I really don't care about "debunking" any of it, I think the back and forth between "this is legit proof" and "that isn't legit proof" is stupid and annoying.

I've been told before stuff like why do you get so defensive about it but it's not defensiveness. It's annoyance because I really seriously geniunely don't care if it's real or not, and it's annoying that people want me so bad to care. Like why does it matter??? I don't have that parasocial of a relationship with Jimin, but have those anons stopped to think they might have a parasocial relationship with ME? Because I really can't understand why they want me to care so bad.

Last December, I was on holidays right, and I sleep with my phone next to my bed and the phone vibrated like three or four times in a row and it woke me up (I have really light sleep). I checked it and it was just before 7am and the phone had been vibrating because of tumblr notifications. I opened them and it was I SWEAR like 3 or 4 messages recounting every single instagram story the actress had ever posted or some shit. I blocked that anon immediately. Nothing had even happened!!!! That person just felt like obsessing over this woman's instagram and that was it. So they had to come and give me all their "proof" and accusing me for not believing in it.

I've also realized how much ammo she gets by doing these slight, sneaky """reveals""" because it's actually what gets people talking more than they would if she just posted a photo of Jimin sitting on the toilet. People post her stories, then go check them, then check her comments, a couple of hours later they check to see if she's deleted them, etc etc. All while others on twitter were sharing the stories left and right and comparing it with the bangtan bomb and trying to decipher if it was really Jimin behind that flower emoji.

So, yeah that's really it. Also not directed to you, but to some other people. Don't ask me or expect me to care... I might've cared years ago when I still believed Jimin and Jungkook were a thing but I've been saying more like two years already that they're not fucking each other, so there's literally no reason at all for Jimin dating to ever affect me. And even when I did believe they were fooling around, I never ever said "they're totally in a committed exclusive real relationship and have been married since 2015" because I've never believed that.

I've been a fan of Harry Styles since I was 15 years old and it has never bothered me to see him making out in public with the whole lineup of Victoria Secret's models because I've just never been that person. So even if it wasn't the reaction people expected me to have, you're just gonna have to believe me when I say Jimin dating rumours do not bother me.

Lastly and I really doubt I'll be addressing this topic again unless something really significant happens, there really isn't necessary "proof" for me to take this seriously. I just don't have enough information to believe in this rumour and that's just it. I'm not going to be thinking harder and trying to connect barely-there dots for someone else. If there is something there, or there was at some point in the past, I'm gonna need taennie level of proof.

[magnetarmadda]

A day late, here's my ficlet for @tmaappreciationweek Day 3: Alternate Universe. It's inspired by this tumblr post

Jon's had several centuries now to come to terms with both his immortality and his all-encompassing but unrequited infatuation with one Martin Blackwood. The immortality, you can imagine, was much easier to grasp. When he was a boy, his grandmother had told him tales of the bloodsucking monsters in the hills, and Jon had the misfortune to not properly believe her and be full of unquenchable curiosity. He'd mostly abided by her rules as a child, having had one close call that instead claimed a neighbor, but in adulthood, he had found an excuse to travel into the hills in search of something or other for his village—he can't even remember properly anymore.  Going on a thousand years later, he's still paying for it. He supposes that's why he's madly in love with Martin, a kind of exquisite cosmic torture for his sins. He'll love this man until the end of time and crave a kind of intimacy he cannot have that surpasses the cravings for blood. Chalking most of the negative things in his very long life up to paying for his sins has become so standard that, the moment he recognizes his handwriting in a display case, he immediately wonders if this will finally be the moment he's earned forgiveness for his foolishness as a young man. Jon and Martin had met up for their usual Saturday afternoon excursion, this time revisiting a museum to see a new exhibit on Victorian era letters and documents. Martin had joked as they walked in that he hoped he'd see one of his early poems here, since he'd lost a whole wooden box of them during a move a hundred years ago. They've been wandering slowly through the exhibit, Martin's arm looped through Jon's in the casual way they've developed, and have recognized the handwriting of a few other vampires they've come to know, but so far, none of Martin's poems. Until they come across Jon's handwriting instead. "Jon?" Martin asks, using his free hand to point to it. "That's…that's your—" He trails off, eyes glued to the words on the aged page.  It's a letter Jon thought he'd burned over 150 years ago, and what little color his skin carries now is flushed away as he remembers the agony under which he'd penned it.  He and Martin had spent the day at the World's Fair, much like this day at the museum, and there had been a moment when one of Jon's remarks had been returned by Martin with such affection that Jon had dared to hope. He wrote all of his burning feelings out on the page and determined to give it to Martin on their next meeting. The exact words Martin had said that made Jon hold back the letter have been forgotten now, but Jon remembers the coldness that spread through his limbs as Martin made a remark about the solidity and dependability of their friendship. Jon had never given the letter over. And now, it's here, his own handwriting laying him bare in this very public space. "That's—that's me," Martin is whispering now, getting closer to the display to read the words again, his expression hungry. Then he turns to Jon, eyes wide. "Jon, what…?" Jon takes a deep breath, even as meaningless as oxygen is for his system now, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He tries a few times, opening and closing it, and he scrutinizes Martin's expression as he does so.  He has absolutely no idea what's going on in his friend's mind, and terror takes root in his soul. Is he about to lose his best friend? "All this time, and you've never told me?" Martin finally breaks the silence, stepping close to Jon. "You really felt that way?" Jon nods, a lump in his throat now.  "D-do you…" At least seeing an opening, Jon dives into it headfirst. "I have loved you for hundreds of years," he says softly, taking a step to fill the decreasing gap between them. "How could I not, Martin?" Martin, eyes wide and flashing, smiles brightly back. "You idiot," he says, and then leans down to kiss Jon.

[sajdd]

Ok normally I would just block without saying anything but I thought maybe if I explained why you could actually learn or something so

Tommy has reiterated over and over again that he hates being treated like a child, that he's an adult now. Has done publicity stunts about it, has completely changed the way he dresses, has snapped at people in chat and said he wishes his fanbase were older.

It's MEAN to call him a child anyway. It's mean to say that being excitable, or liking colors and Minecraft, and being silly, isn't something you can do as an adult.

Tommy is having a public mental health breakdown because of being a child star and is open about this, and has even complained about other adults not treating him the same or noticing people don't hit on him because he's "the child" and it fucks him up. Doubling down and calling him a child makes things worse.

He shouldn't have to strip himself off 99% of his personality and likes and interests so people can call him an adult.

And as an adult myself, I can tell you being called or treated like a child? Is hurtful. Being infantilized is an awful feeling. Children don't have the same self-actualization, the same control, the same rights as adults. People make decisions FOR them, like where to go to school, what groceries to buy, what's "allowed". Being a child forever is fucking terrifying. Being treated like you don't know better and can't make decisions on our own is terrifying..being belittled and told your other adult friends are like your parents is terrifying. It's not fun.

Please don't do that anymore. He's excited about his skyblock ranking but what makes him an adult is his age. And he is an adult. An excited adult, a loud and funny and boisterous adult, but an adult. And this fandom practice of calling him a child over and over again is abusive and hurtful, and he has visibly been cracking under it and outright called it out. Please please please, regardless of intention, Don't call him a child again.

dont worry. popular streamer up-and-coming-comedian tommy-simons-innit wont die because of a tumblr post i made. he'll be fine. he'll recover.

also hey did you know that i am an adult autistic and the first sentence of this message is actually very demeaning and infantilising xxx

im going to go have a public breakdown because of you now. hope youre happy

[veritable-trash]

You Know The Rules

look at that stupid slutty mustache... god please answer my prayers just this once

Pairing: Finnegan(Everybody Wants Some!!) x Fem!Reader

Summary: God you hate him.

Word Count: 2K

Rating: M - mainly for drugs babayyyyy, weed, that good, otherwise it's pretty clean in these sheets(this time around)

A/N: haha. no one asked for this. but listen! all my glen powell sloots we need to remember the original. sweet daddy finnegan. mustached, shaggy haired, 80s baseball player i mean i couldn't have written a sluttier man if i tried. this movie isn't the greatest, but the music is dope, the outfits are cute, and it serves as a public service announcement that men need to start wearing crop tops IMMEDIATELY. this is a petition for men to start dressing like sluts again so i can finally be at peace. anyways this is completely and utterly self serving but the glen powell top gun resurgence just kept reminding me that this is peak glen to me. give me mustaches or give me death!

sorry that i haven't written... or literally done anything of value in an eon. my brain has given up and also i moved and am currently unemployed and am about to go travel for three months and want to write but have zero inspiration and tumblr makes me sad because everyone is so good at writing and i am a troll under a bridge. this is me trying to release the need to produce things of "value" because does that even mean anymore? i hope someone finds this a little fun because honestly i kinda did :) hugs and kisses <;33333

tell me what you think! i'm literally begging! on my hands and knees! the desperation is palpable yeesh

masterlist yay yay!!!

~~~~~

College.

What a fucking heinous place. Filled with suffocating expectations, the constant need to pretend you’re someone you’re not because of everyone else’s supposed opinions of you. 

It made you want to vomit. 

And yet here you were, cowering in the corner of the kitchen at this stupid, lame, awful college party. A baseball party no less. Those absolute heathens. Probably the worst category of men on this campus by about 20 miles and you were definitely counting. 

The joint you haphazardly rolled in the absolutely disgusting bathroom crackles between your lips as you try to tune out every single person here and catch the steady baseline of the song playing hoping that that will somehow lull you into a state of calm.

This new weed sucked shit. All stems, all seeds, and got you high for about 30 seconds. You were going to kill Willoughby when you saw him. Honestly the only baseball player in this house you liked and even he was about to get moved right onto the shit list with the rest of the men of this house. 

Your friends had badgered you endlessly all week to ask Willoughby for the invite, not that you really need to even ask him. Girls? More than one? The baseball boys were already salivating like it was their last meal on death row.

The standards in this place were in the fucking basement. 

Some would call you a pessimist. Angry, bitchy, snippy, negative, the whole gambit and they might be right. But college was a fucking weird ass place that made your skin crawl and your anxiety spike and all you wanted to do was smoke your green, pass your classes, and watch your cartoons in peace, please and thank you. 

And then his voice cut through your slow building haze like a serrated knife on a chalkboard. Made of sandpaper.

“Sweetheart! I thought Willoughby mentioned you’d be here, and why am I not surprised you’re toking it up alone in our kitchen, my favorite little stoner weirdo.”

Finnegan.

The absolute ultimate fuck. 

Mustached, wide shoulders, shaggy blonde, crisp baby blues, he was everything your vagina yearned for until he opened his stupid mouth. And of course that was just as pretty as the rest of him too. 

You’d met him for the first time freshman year. Fresh faced and thinking the world was truly your oyster, he’d popped into your life in intro to philosophy and swept you away with his silky, fancy words and the fact that he looked like that. 

He’d invited you to the first baseball party you’d ever gone to and made you a special promise that he would be your knight in shining armor for the night. That he’d be waiting for your arrival, was counting down the minutes till you showed up at his door and he could dance the night away with you.

That was until you saw him sucking face with Tracy. Who was also in your intro to philosophy class. 

Obviously, you’d hated him to his core ever since. 

But for some reason he’d stuck around. Always kept tabs on you, always had a class with you, always found you at any party, bar, disco, literally fucking anywhere and it made you want to tear your hair out. 

He was your pretty boy kryptonite and you needed him to leave you the fuck alone.

“Oh Finny. Finny, Finnegan, fuckhead. You know I thought I’d somehow be able to avoid you tonight but it seems like my stalker persists no matter the obstacles.”

Smoke trickles from between your clenched teeth and he has the audacity to stare at your lips and grin.

Fucking grin!!!

“You wound me princess. Ain’t even gonna share that little pinner of yours, I mean the absolute cruelty of it all.”

The grins still blazing on his lips but in Finn fashion he has to play up his part. 

Clutching at his pearls, leaning against the kitchen counter like you’d just stabbed him straight through. Your eyes roll so far back in your head they almost launch themselves out of your skull. 

“No Finn, I’m not gonna share with the likes of you. Go find Will and get him to roll you one, he’s the one I got the weed from anyways. Or maybe go find some other poor unsuspecting girl to do the deed for you, but you ain’t getting shit from me. You know the rules sweet Finny: ass, cash, or grass and god only knows I ain’t taking any of those three from you.” 

You regret those last few words the second they enter the air between you.

Because Finnegan’s eyes drop straight to your mouth again and now he’s crowding you into the corner of the counter. 

“Oh sweetheart if you just let me show you what this ass can do I think you would be singing quite a different tune. You think I’m all bravado and show but you and I both know the two of us could be quite a duo. I just know you’re absolutely unreal beneath that veneer of hatred you slap on.”

He’s still staring at your lips, the joint hanging limply between them as you try and control your breath and not cough up a lung. 

Two can play this fucking game.

You take a thick drag, the tip burning bright orange and crackling like cinders and his eyes only deepen in shade. The smoke curls out and up into your nose and he stares at you his jaw dropping a little slack as you play him like the fucking fiddle he is. 

“Finn.” Your index finger trails up his arm as you ash the joint in the sink, and you can feel the muscles of his bicep twitch with the contact. “If you think I’m gonna let you touch me you’ve lost your god damn mind. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go find some peace and quiet. Away from you.”

Your voice is sticky sweet and he barely registers that you’re telling him off for the millionth time tonight until you’re traipsing out of the kitchen at lightning speed before you do something else you’ll regret. 

He got too fucking close this time around. You let him get too fucking close. 

Your feet stomp quick up the stairs to the only safe place you’d ever been able to find in this house. 

The roof. That blissful open space, like the crispest breath of fresh air it tasted almost minty. Your hands dig into your pockets looking for your weed, your lighter, and your rolling papers-

Fuck.

Of course you’d forgotten papers, predicable as always and fucking annoying as hell and you’re about to turn back down the stairs when your eyes land on something sitting on the windowsill. 

Finn’s wood pipe. 

You loved to hate it but it was his calling card. Stupid and quirky and so perfectly him that the sight of it made you heart twist just a little. 

Not that you would ever fucking admit that. 

Well beggars can’t be chooser as they say. 

It’s deceptively crisp out on the roof as you shuffle around other groups till you get to your super secret corner on the far side of the house. No one ever seems to want to venture this far and you could smoke in peace and tranquility as the rest of the party raged somewhere far, far away. 

The bowls packed, green just catching a smolder and you have to admit the stupid Sherlock Holmes pipe is kinda fun. Maybe you’d leave a fresh bowl packed for sweet Finn as a secret thank you gift. 

Maybe this weed was stronger than you thought. 

“Alrighty first you don’t share your joint, then you verbally assault me in my own house, and now you’re smoking out of my pipe? You really are trying to start a fight with me this evening now aren’t ya?”

Your eyes are red rimmed and your brain has that pleasant haze coating every synapse and you can’t find it in you anymore to really fight Finn right now. The stars look too damn good and the tree has hit too damn deep to let your hackles rise.

“You know maybe I’ve been giving you a bit of a hard time, but you damn well deserve it.” You smile around the pipe as you take another drag, but this time you pass it to Finn as he sits down just a little closer than usual. 

His fingers snag against yours as you pass it and you both flinch a bit at the contact, sparkles zipping up your arms.

He stays quiet this time around, pulling puffs as you both watch people flit around the grass below you, the party continuing into this seemingly never ending night. 

Friday’s, they really were something.

Your knees knock, fingers catching again as he passes the pipe back to you. Another pull fills your lungs and you lean back, back, back until your back presses down on the cool paneling of the roof and you let the smoke drift up and away among those pretty little stars. 

“Finn you can just be so fucking annoying sometimes, I just wanna shut you up for like five seconds so we can all take a fucking breather.”

He laughs at that. Real and deep, curling around the base of your spine as he turns to stare down at you and the feeling spreads all the way to your fingertips. All the way to your toes.

“I’m well aware, but it’s sorta a part of my charm. I’m just waiting for it to final start charming you.”

Your eyes click to his, haze lifting for a split moment, and his eyes twinkle almost brighter than the stars. 

“That’s such a fucking line and you know that shit doesn’t work on me. Fool me once and all of that jazz.” But you can’t stop staring at him and now his eyes color puzzled, a little hazy as he tries to decipher your words. “Oh come on, freshman year? You invited me to the party with all your fancy little words that you love to spin for me to only find you eating Tracy’s lips straight off her face? Honestly she still talks about that night to this day so I guess in a weird way kudos to you but man that did sting a bit.”

You chuckle around another pull and you go to pass it back but he’s clearly no longer interested in that. He seems very intent on memorizing every detail of your face under the stars and you can’t help but wiggle a little under his hyper focused gaze. 

“I-I didn’t know that you were there that night. McReynolds told me you’d left with some dude and Tracy was more than willing to fill in that blank.”

Oh fuck.

You’re both just staring at each other as moment after moment click like puzzles pieces. Every snippy comment, every lingering glance, every class, every time you just happened to run into each other all no longer strange coincidences and some secret hatred. Every little moment stitching itself together till it left just you and Finn. 

And there’s that fucking grin again.

But it’s softer this time, a little less sleazy and a little more lovely and now you’re sure his eyes are brighter than any star. 

Your own lips tick up with a soft, nervous smile.

His fingers card between yours and he brings your knuckles up to his lips, stupid mustache tickling your skin in ways that make you shiver. 

“I feel like nows the time to return to my earlier question since you finally shared some of that green with me, so what do I owe ya? Ass, cash, or more grass?”

You snort into the air between you and his grin splits into a megawatt smile and you finally let yourself tumble head first into kissing stupid, idiot, fuckhead Finnegan.

“Ass, 100%.”

~~~~~

tell me what you think if anyone is actually reading this because i'm bored and this site is lonely and i just want some weirdo friends who also think mustaches are peak sexiness. alright i need to go to sleep the psychosis is taking over :P

[braceletofteeth]

15 people, 15 questions

I was tagged by @scarefox ❤

1) Are you named after anyone?

They just thought the name was pretty, I think.

2) When was the last time you cried?

Today :) I've been doing it a lot lately, but only a little at a time. Probably just need some rest.

3) Do you have kids?

For many years, I've been helping my grandmother raise my younger brother. I'm the one people call when there's an emergency, I'm the one who takes him to the doctor and tend to him when he's sick, I'm the one who notices when he needs something new, I'm the one who takes him shopping, I'm the one who attends school meetings, I'm the one who guides him through the government's bureaucracy, and I'm the one he talks to about his problems, as well as his prospects for the future. Sometimes, when grandma allows me in her kitchen or is unavailable, I'm even the one who feeds him.

So, by all means, yes, I do have a kid. And soon from now he won't be a kid anymore, but I know I'll always consider him my utmost responsibility in this world.

That's one of the reasons I don't want any more kids than I already have. Looking after the lives of two people (mine and his) is enough.

4) What sports do you play/have you played?

I was never a sportive person tbh.

5) Do you use sarcasm?

Yes (usually for a humorous effect).

6) What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their... apparent age? “That's a teenager.” “That's an elder.” It's one of the factors that help me predict/understand others' behaviors/expectations.

7) What's your eye color?

Dark brown.

8) Scary movies or happy endings?

That might come as a surprise, but I've never been much fond of scary movies 😅 Unless they are something like psychological horror, it's rare for me to actually get invested in them.

I like happy endings, but I'm ok with sad endings too. I just feel averse to open endings—especially when the story feels incomplete because of it.

9) Any talents?

Very good at elaborating questions that will lead people to talk more than me during a conversation (in a way that is enjoyable for them, of course!)

10) Where were you born?

North of Brazil. I lived in other places, but I'm back in my hometown now.

11) What are your hobbies?

Learning other languages

Baking cakes

Watching asian dramas and talking about it on tumblr dot com

Reading books and fanfics

Finding places where listening to music feels more intense than usual

Lazy walks along the river

12) Do you have any pets?

It's technically my cousin's, but we do have a pet in the house. It's a cat we call Relâmpago (it means Lightning). It sleeps at my doorstep during the day and we frequently eat together.

13) How tall are you?

168cm. Most women are shorter than me, but I still wish I was just a tiny bit taller 🤏

14) What was your favorite subject in school?

Story Time with real events (a.k.a History).

History teachers from public schools are very passionate about their field of study! They know exactly why we're forced to live on hard mode and go through so many injustices today. If they could, they would tell everyone about it, so we'd argue more, question more, and bend history in our favor for once. I loved my History teachers, loved learning about the people that came before us, and especially about how changeable everything is.

15) What is your dream job?

The idea of doing anything, and I mean anything, repetitively, for decades, non-stop, takes off the spark of any career path I have found compelling in the past. I don't want to do something I love in exchange for profit/out of obligation, because I know this won't work for me. I tried it before, and all it did was make me resent my hobby. So I don't mix the two concepts anymore. I literally do not dream of labor.

But I still need labor—at the very least, not to starve to death. So what I dream about, now, is a job that doesn't take too much of my time and energy, so I can dedicate them to enjoyable activities and to the people I love; so I can live a life that is not determined or owned by my job.

—

tagging: @softneomiro @somebodycallixii @srabaskerville @kdreader02

As usual, only if you'd like to 😊

[throamguide]

hi!! do u know why anna decided not to rewrite and publish throam as an original work?

Hi! First off, some background: even in 2017-2018, when Anna was posting about the rewrite and talking about publishing it, she was open about the fact that it might never happen: "A rewritten version might never get published, anyway, so don't freak out." (X)

It also wouldn't be easy to rid it of its fanfiction past, as with something like 50 Shades of Gray (Twilight AU fic) because of THROAM's relative internet fame.

Anna also disliked when bandom people IRL (people she wrote about) would find out about THROAM because of fans bringing it up to them. Which is completely understandable. Because it happened quite a bit. She sums it up well in a heated post from 2019: Choice. And it had to be said because a lot of people ended up referencing, asking about, or even reading THROAM, presumably because of fans: Dallon, Jon, Vicky, Keltie, Z Berg...

Anna also moved away from bandom in general and started writing about K-pop groups (she's still at it!) and hinted at some original fiction. Finleighsaid, her URL towards the end of her Tumblr days, was some sort of reference to an original character of her's (I think?).

While writing this I had a look at the THROAM Fanlore page (which I helped write because my teenage self had no life) and found Anna's explanation as to why she stopped rewriting it:

March 25, 2019

Monday confessionals - I haven’t even had wine or anything. Some juice, though. Is sugar a drug?

Anyway, it is yet again that I have not posted anything here for a good while, and in the interest of Managing Expectations (whose? idk) I thought I’d give an update. Or, nay, a nopedate. (I’m sorry, I’m trying.) When last summer I decided that perhaps I ought to work the trilogy towards publication, I was working part-time and was kind of weighing my options as to what to do in life. (I still am. Is anyone out there a career counsellor? Please send me some help, thanks.) Anyway, I had time to work on the rewrite in cafés after or before work, and I was quite into it! Then I swapped for a full-time job and all of my rewrite efforts, essentially, ceased. I realise now why I wrote the story when I was a student: I had sooooo much time. From 2009 to 2019, I suddenly don’t have that luxury anymore.

So what I am saying is that, from my end, and for now, the project is definitely on hiatus. You know, like one of your favourite emo bands. I don’t want to mislead people into thinking I am actively working on the project when I haven’t touched it in weeks or even months. I don’t know if my situation will change in the future, or if this is the universe telling me to let it go. I know some people definitely want me to just let the story be! And I know some really want to see it published, too. And you know what, if I ever did publish it, people would always just shrug it off as bandom fic, and it’s hard for me to deal with the reality of people constantly looking down at something I love very dearly. So I have my hesitations and reservations, and I have Dean stood at Venice Beach in 1969, staring at the waves and a decade of stardom.

I have always been my most successful in producing and finishing stories when I have selfishly written whatever makes me happy. I suppose the rewrite is not that for me right now.

Thank you for your patience. Soul searching is hard. xx

[dykeishheart]

Every so often you see a ridiculous post, usually something with sexual content presented humorously, and a reblog comment will say something to the effect of "this is why this website is unprofitable"

And while those are funny, it's just patently untrue.

Firstly, it behooves us to establish a baseline of terminology, because in current discourse there's a major disconnect between what 'unprofitable' means when used by tumblr users and when used by tumblr executives.

Unprofitable in lay use typically means 'there is a net negative cash flow for this company' while in executive terms it means something more like 'the revenue generated here is unfit for long term growth'. The key distinction is that root word profit; In reality Tumblr is profitable by the first definition but unprofitable by the second. If tumblr wasn't bringing in enough money to at least balance out operating costs it would have been gone long ago. MySpace still exists, Tumblr will likely occupy that same space until it literally can't afford to anymore. The real issue is that tumblr's business model doesn't generate its own growth, and therefore doesn't continually expand its proft above operation like every corporation expects to.

Basically when users on here talk about profits they're measuring velocity, while executives are measuring acceleration. How much will the money increase its own collection, how can we make that happen faster, and how can we maintain that acceleration curve?

Now that that's out of the way, let's look at Tumblr's actual business model. Compared to Twitter and Facebook, tumblr lacks two key things: Public acclaim, and user incentives for engagement loops.

The first part is easy. Tumblr isn't a famous platform like Facebook is or like Twitter is. Outside of Tumblr, nobody talks about Tumblr. This means it's not viewed as a strong market for advertisers, it's not generating waves of new users, and it's not gonna get attention for doing critical maintenance or breakthrough innovation because the crowds simply aren't here. There are millions of Tumblr users, but it really doesn't mean the same thing as the collective hundreds of millions of users across Facebook and Instragram that all generate tons of ad and data revenue for one corporation.

The second part is more complicated because it gets into the psychology of social media engagement, and I'm not gonna pretend to be an expert on how that works. But the crux of it is that the mechanics of engagement with Tumblr are just different from that of Twitter in a few basic ways that mean huge differences in how the space is utilized.

Firstly, Tumblr is fairly obtuse about post longevity; the halflife of a tumblr post is effectively eternal because posts from the first year the website was open for public use still circulate. Posts didn't even have dates put onto them for users to see until like two years ago, unless you modded your website layout with third party tools like Xkit. This is great if you want a website where your art can last forever, but terrible for creating large surges of engagement super quickly on hot button topics and posts. This latter model is how basically all social media operates nowadays, with posts basically dying after 48 hours. There's always a frenzy on every meme, headline, picture, thinkpiece, and political fuckup that inevitably creates micro-surges of engagement for whoever saw it. This creates vicious cycles of attention seeking in just about everyone involved, but it just doesn't work that way here. I get periodic validation from writing I've posted years ago and that gives me the feedback I'd normally have to post hourly to attain on twitter, so there's really no drive for me to constantly be posting. This lack of need to constantly generate content feeds into the first issue of public acclaim; if everyone isn't constantly posting then the content which does leak out from here isn't enough to cross most of the thresholds to motivate people to migrate to the platform and give it public acclaim.

Secondly, the people who *do* post constantly aren't rewarded for doing so in any meaningful way. People who generate tons of content for YouTube and Instagram and TikTok make actual literal money from doing so. People can use Twitter and Facebook to advertise themselves, their products, their podcasts, their personal websites, whatever. With enough of a presence on most social media, there's monetary drives involved. And this motivates some unsuccessful users to keep trying to gain personal acclaim because it's no longer a social media platform, it's a shovel salesman in a gold rush. Tumblr does not have this. Tipping was added a while back but from what I can tell it's not widely used, and even if it was that's still money coming from other users and not the platform itself. Nobody is posting on tumblr to try and make it big and get real money doing so. The people posting a lot on tumblr are people like writers posting updates for their fics, artists posting their art, sex workers promoting their OnlyFans, porn blogs, stolen meme accounts, and the odd wizard here and there. Most people here are engaging for social fulfillment, which is ironically the least profitable motive a social media platform can offer its userbase.

[logo-comics]

Fortune Lover Pirates Meta

Due to certain bots that the staff do nothing about infecting my post with likes in order to try to infect the site further, I decided to delete the original post and make this one as a replacement. I failed to save the question before deleting by mistake, so please accept the meta-styled opening presented below.

Fortune Lover, the most popular game from Ai Fortuna Software, has gained a bit of infamy among new fans as The Pirate Game With No Pirates. Indeed, a common question on the forums and various social media sits is "Why is there so much pirate content for Fortune Lover if its set in a magic school?"

We here at LOGO Media Publication have thus decided to do a little digging on the internet and have come back with all the fun data you need to get a better understanding of why it is that a pirate's life is often seen as Maria's lot!

Tumblr

queenmaryhunt I've finally figured it out! Maria is Martin Campbell's daughter! It all makes sense! Her father disappeared when she was little, so she doesn't know he's technically the Pirate King, let alone any pirate at all! The timeline even matches up! captainnatalia I know you didn't insult the Gentleman Pirate by comparing him to that lowlife that abandoned Maria and her mom because of rumors! Martin Campbell would never be like that! bluejetpack yeah! martin was abandoned and alone until captain natalia took him in! he'd never do that to his own wife and daughter! queenmaryhunt No! Listen! In Martin Campbell: Pirate King's secret ending, he told Captain Natalia's grave that he was going to sail out for the last time so he could pull enough money together to get his unnamed wife and daughter a house in the capital so they wouldn't "be bothered by close-minded villagers anymore.' And what did Maria's voice actor say in her interview when asked about if Maria had any friends in her village? "Maria never really fit in with the villagers after her magic came in at the age of five and the people assumed she was the result of her mother having an affair with a noble. Her dad even disappeared a year later." geomaria-stan1123 That's her opinion, not official lore! The DLC they're going to release is on Golden Sands. In the first game, Old Baron Terni owns that land, and he let the Fortuna Amata make berth there as part of an unofficial agreement. You'll see when the DLC comes out that he's probably going to cameo as part of an old painting or something. Maria being Martin Campbell's daughter is as likely as them adding in a Katarina Route to a DLC!

queenmaryhunt You all owe me an apology! "The Gentleman Pirate disappeared nine years ago, which is why we took up his contract with the new Baron." That's what Marie said! Nine years! Back when Maria would've been 6, you know, when Maria's father suddenly disappeared! marikata9430 I'll take posts that keep getting funnier with each DLC for 500. fortune-lover-heritage-posts Fortune Lover Heritage Post (August 28, 2017).

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sophiasemeraldprincess So, I'm probably giving myself away as a newbie to the fandom, but what's the deal with the pirates in this fandom? Everywhere I look, there are pirate OCs, Pirate Captain Katarina, Pirate Maria, Maria on a pirate ship... I thought, from all of this, that Fortune Lover had pirates all over the place mc-gentlemanpirate As a lifelong fan of the Ai Fortuna Software Multiverse, I can answer this one, but it's a bit of a long story. See, back at the start, Ai Fortuna was a small company that released their first game, Martin Campbell: Gentleman Pirate. The game was very popular in its time, detailing the adventures of a young beggar child named Martin, who stowed away on a ship to get away from it all, only to be discovered and mentored by Captain Natalia Petra Campbell, sworn enemy of the undead Pirate King Black Boris Edmund Guy, who dies at his hand by the end of the tutorial. From there, it's Martin's revenge quest centered around him figuring out his place in the world of piracy, whether or not he'll be a gentleman of fortune or a cutthroat mercenary. The good end, which is the canon one, has him kill Black Boris and being proclaimed the Pirate King. Since Martin and Maria share initials, as well as having identically fluffy blond hair, a lot of fans gravitated towards the idea that Maria was his daughter with his wife, who were both mentioned in the sequel, Martin Campbell: Pirate King. (Fun fact: When Fortune Lover's first trailer came out in 2014, a lot of people even thought that Maria was Martin in disguise in a midquel game.) Eventually, when the DLC started rolling out, the first was Golden Sands, set in his usual place of berth, the eponymous island, and it was revealed he had only disappeared nine years prior, which was when Maria's father had left. This was all speculation for the longest time, until the databook revealed this was always the lead writer's plan, with the Pirate's Promise DLC having been planned to be the sequel until the studio came in and ordered Mysteries in the Magical Ministry, which did... Alright, but was not as well received as Pirate's Promise, which is currently being made into its own spinoff series. TL;DR - Ai Fortuna Software was originally a pirate game company and Fortune Lover was written by a pirate series writer, so the fans immediately latched onto the pirate game parts because of the fact that it was a loving continuation of a beloved series. marikata9430 Also because Romanceable Pirate Captain Katarina. marisofilove2020 Definitely because Pirate Captain Katarina. marydeservesbetter Lots of people thirsting for Katarina even in an old uniform and bandages and a legitimate development history lesson for the series. Fortune Lover fandom, never change.

Fortune Lover Databook

From Left to Right: Sophia Ascart, Katarina Claes, and Mary Hunt as they appeared in the first poster for Fortune Lover that portrayed the rivals.

Fortune Fact: While Sophia Ascart and Mary Hunt were officially named at the time of the first poster of the rivals being released, they and Katarina Claes, at the time named Tatiana Terni, did not, at the time, have any set personalities, leading to a lot of fans to start to speculate. Many had naturally guessed that Tatiana would be the primary antagonist, and there had actually been some suspicion that Sophia was actually a ghost, and that Mary was secretly in love with Maria and would be a capture target. There was also a lot of speculation that Tatiana would be revealed to be a pirate or at least affiliated with them due to her being a Terni.

Bonus Fortune Fact: Fans of the Martin Campbell series had quickly taken notice of Tatiana's surname, as well as Maria's own, which is believed to be the reason why studio heads told the creator to rename Tatiana, to avoid any further incorrect announcements on fansites that this was a Martin Campbell game.

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Pictured: Maria Campbell's main character reference for sprites.

Fortune Fact: Maria Campbell's signature attire was the result of a massive server crash at Ai Fortuna Software's main office, which included Keith's original design from when he was Noelia Flores's twin, grey-haired Geordo, and Sophia With Glasses. Initially, Maria's hair had sea shells, in place of flowers, and her dress was originally navy blue, with black boots with brass buckles, and a similarly colored belt and the bow around her neck was originally a black neckerchief, all of which were meant to call to mind Captain Natalia, who wore green and had an unbuttoned greatcoat, but otherwise wore similar attire. This was likely what contributed to the fan believe that she was secretly Martin.

Interviews

Excerpt from an interview with Maria Campbell's voice actress:

Interviewer: So, you said that you once met the English voice actress for Maria at a convention, and that the two of you are friends. Have the two of you ever noticed any similar issues that you have to deal with when playing Maria? Since the DLCs tend to get delayed elsewhere, I presume that she doesn't have to clear her schedule as often as you do for them...

MVA: *chuckles* No, she doesn't have to deal with that, but one thing we both learned is that we're both big fans of the first Martin Campbell game.

Interviewer: Really?

MVA: Yeah, so we both had the same issue, which was that this is an Ai Fortuna game, and the main character's last name is Campbell, so of course we both did the read with Maria using what the Director to this day calls "Martin Voices" whenever I do it.

Interviewer: Martin Voices?

MVA: Martin speaks differently to different people in the game, using Yamanote most of the time because that's what Natalia taught him. When he's really angry, though, he slips into his native Kyushu. In America, he usually uses RP British, but slips into some other British accent that I honestly don't remember the name of at the moment for the life of me. Martin voices are us copying that, even though Maria is supposed to talk more in a Shitamachi dialect in Japanese and a more "standardized" American accent that I also can't recall the entire time.

Interviewer: How did that work out?

MVA: If you go online and look up "Martin's Daughter Scary Flirts" or "British Maria Flirts With Katarina" online, you can see how the fans reacted to the released recordings of either of our slip-ups... I think someone actually animated the English one to include a kiss. But yeah, we both went in under the understanding that her missing dad was actually Martin, and now with all the DLCs out, we know we're right.

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Excerpt from an Interview with Katarina's Voice Actress:

Interviewer: What are your thoughts on all those pirate DLC sets?

KVA: I love them! Katarina is romanceable in all of them, I get to have her treat people in ways never seen before, and I get to play my favorite type of character: A pirate. She's good at it, too.

Interviewer: Any favorite additions to the cast?

KVA: Pretty much all of them to be honest.

Interviewr: All of them?

KVA: Yep, every foreign exchange student, every citizen, and especially every member of the crew.

Interviewer: If you had to choose, though?'

KVA: That's a tough one. *pauses in thought* I guess Anne takes the lead, with Martin Campbell, Maria's dad, taking a reasonably solid second place for nostalgia’s sake. Anne gives Katarina someone to bounce off when she's not talking to Maria. But yeah. Pirate Katarina remains my favorite setting, so I might be biased...

Memes

[birdinabowl]

You’re right I didn’t had a tumblr anymore— I- I made a new one cuz I missed my mutuals—

I came here just to dig for your bday and I’m handing myself on a silver platter, i’m such a mess 😭

That’s right YOU are a mess. You come crawling back after hurting me and my best friend severely and you expect me to have open arms?

You’ve done this before with Feral. You severely triggered her, blocked her, then come back days later like nothing happened? Things are different this time, I blocked you to begin with and you don’t have power over either of us anymore.

I didn’t want to make any of this public, I BLOCKED you for a reason. There was no reason for this to be public drama. Yet you go publicly talk about why you were blocked? Like you did nothing??? You purposely triggered me and feral several times- I have ss of you asking me about one of its triggers, then you a minute later dming her about it. You aren’t dumb, you’re manipulative. When I ranted about how upset something made me, what do you do? Show the screenshot of what made me upset.

All your “pranks” were just toying with people’s emotions, you played with people like they were things to use and throw away. Why was it funny to you to ignore people and then go “I’m just joking!! You’re so gullible.” Why is it funny for others to think you’re upset at them? Why do all your “jokes” hurt others??

In our last conversation, I offered to reach out more, I was trying to be nice. And what did you do? You treated me like a pest- you made it sound like you didn’t want to talk to me. Even if you’ll claim it wasn’t your goals, you did this repeatedly. I’m not going to let you just step on my anymore.

I didn’t miss you, I was better off without you. You made me an anxious mess when talking to you- I felt like I was walking on glass half the time. But you don’t have that control over me now, you cannot hurt me or my friends again.

You can play innocent all you want but you aren’t fooling me, I know exactly what type of person you are, and you can’t play with my emotions anymore.

You told feral to never speak to you again? Well how about this? You never speak to me again or her. I doubt you’ll reach out to her but just so you know she’s not going to put up with you anymore either. You can’t hurt people and come back into their lives like you did nothing.

You aren’t welcomed here. You want an explanation to why you’re blocked? Well here it is. I’ve moved on, why haven’t you?

[boydepartment]

ive noticed you tend to apologise a lot when youre tired and taking a break 😅 you shouldnt do that. youre a human, of course you'd feel tired sometimes. hope youre taking enough rest and recovering soon, no pressure to take and accept requests.

im sorry your interview went weird, but its good you pulled back the moment you found it sketchy. hopefully youd get a chance to accomplish your dream sometime soon in the future! take care jayjay

-🎄

hi it’s okay 🎄 anon :) i’m gonna use your ask to talk abt something if that’s okay, this isn’t @ you, i pinky promise.

i’m gonna be honest after valentine’s day i might just leave this account ? i don’t think ill delete anything but i just can’t be on tumblr or read any of the content i used to. i talked about it a bit a couple days ago i just want to elaborate more.

it makes me really just idk :/ i don’t like the community at all anymore and it’s been declining my mental for a bit. i love enha and all my people in the different groups i like, but i really really hate how some ppl write them and it just freaks me out REALLY bad. ESPECIALLY RIKI. like fuck some of you guys are so weird bruh…. and shameless. like you have no respect and don’t even on the “it’s not that serious.” you’re fucking weird. period. there’s no reason to make some of the shit you guys say public at all.

it’s been talked abt more recently how dubcon and dark fics are more common now and i can’t keep scrolling past it and seeing it. it freaks me out that people will write about actual people like that especially someone who lived at the receiving end of abuse like that. why would you want someone you love to be put in the situation of the abuser? like it doesn’t click to me and sometimes even scrolling past and seeing the tags and send me into a bad episode so i just can’t anymore. i don’t know how people think that’s okay to push their coping mechanism that’s darker and extremely damaging on an actual HUMAN BEING. coping mechanism or not that’s fucking weird. they may be idols but they are human beings too.

i’ve also had a few asks in my anon that are just straight up rude, demanding, or calling me weird for liking riki at all? like you are attacking the wrong girl i have nothing but respect for him. those anons are just stressing me out aswell and it’s just too much. i’m exhausted constantly being disrespected. tumblr is supposed to be a platform where i can get away and get lost in lighthearted stories and it’s not that for me anymore.

i might come back after i leave on valentine’s day but i need time to actually enjoy kpop like i used to. the fans are ruining it for me and it’s just been making me really depressed. i can’t even go on tiktok sometimes because of the fan bases. i’ve always been very open with you guys and like, i need to pull back from these fan bases and take care of myself. i barely eat, sleep, or enjoy anything anymore(that’s due to offline stuff but being on tumblr doesn’t help any of that at all). i miss having fun and the communities are ruining it.